#it'd be the third time I'd be watching it with someone else
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Hank, Sanford and Deimos with a Reader who does Handcrafts
Gonna post my old MadCom stuff since people seem interested in it! I didn't write too much back then, but I'll post it anyway and hope for some MadCom requests as well! What the title says! Reader knits, crochets and embroiders in this! The format is different from how I usually write, but that's because I wrote this months ago, if not in 2022! I don't remember when, but it's been a while since I wrote this!
Hank
If you get his attention while doing one of your crafts, expect him to just stare at you for a while. He knows what knitting is, since you can use those needles to stab someone with enough force, but he never really cared much for any of it. So, seeing you do those small, but precise movements has him somewhat curious. If you beckon him closer to check out what you’re doing, he will approach you, taking your piece from your hands and gently examining it, before returning it to you.
While he won’t join you that often due to his occupation, Hank will lie down next to you from time to time, watching you work until he falls asleep eventually. Doing so next to you, especially when you’re knitting or doing embroidery, takes a lot of trust on his behalf, so it’s a rather rare occurrence, but it might happen. Still, sometimes even Nevada’s most wanted can’t resist getting some sleep in.
If you give him a scarf or anything of the likes it might seem like he doesn’t like it at first. As he only grunts in acknowledgement and doesn’t wear it, it might seem disheartening at first glance. But rest assured, he’s well aware that him wearing it would only get it covered in blood, and he wouldn’t want your creation, that you put so much love into, to get sullied like that. Hank does keep it somewhere hidden where only he can find it so that it won’t get stolen as well, he truly does treasure anything you give him.
Sanford
He has helped his mother crocheting every once in a while when he was young by holding her wool for her. Sanford always thought it to be really cool how you can make something so beautiful out of something as simple as wool and yarn. Much like he did when he was younger, he’ll hold your yarn for you, making it more comfortable to knit or crochet for you. Unlike Hank and Deimos, he will try to learn it as well. It seems relaxing, so why not? But by no means is he a master. Due to his strength, he will likely rip the yarn and wool apart from time to time and come to you for help.
In order to relax and unwind a bit, he’ll likely come to you and ask if you would like to practise your craft for and with him. Having you around in and of itself already makes Sanford happy, but just getting to spend time with you without having to worry about being killed by the enemy makes it all the better. If you let him, he will hold you close, lean into you, put you on his lap, anything you’re comfortable with.
Please give him a sweater. Because he’s never wearing a shirt he gets cold fairly easily. He’ll cherish it dearly and wear it whenever he can, and whenever he knows it won’t get ripped. Another thing he’d be very happy with would be a piece of embroidery. It reminds him of better times and gives him hope, especially when your piece of art is something pleasant and sweet to look at. Because of that, he will put it up somewhere in his room where he can always see it. Even if Deimos makes fun of him for it, he will simply lightly jab at the smoker, all the while smiling at it.
Deimos
He’ll lovingly call you a grandma for having hobbies like these. Even while doing embroidery, where you stab things thousands of times, he will snicker at you whenever he catches you doing any of these things. Though, he doesn’t mind that sort of thing at all since that means you’ll be sitting still for a while, meaning you’ll give him a chance to unwind with him. Deimos will wrap his arms around you, leaning onto you or just cuddle into you in general. No fighting, no getting hurt, just watching you do the same movements over and over again.
Despite possibly calling you boring, he does have great respect for your craft, since he can’t do any of it. It’s too tedious and he can’t sit around for long enough doing something like this. It’s simply not exciting enough. But the moment you give him his first sweater, he will think it’s the most awesome thing to ever exist. Proud as a peacock, he will flaunt and taunt his new piece of clothing, especially to Sanford and Hank, declaring just what a great lover he has.
Present him with a plushie and his mind will be blown. He always thought knitting and crocheting are just for woolly hats and sweaters and scarves and all. If he sees you made him a tiny grunt, he will simply lose it, run around the Status Quo base and show everyone what you’re capable of. It doesn’t even matter to him whether or not it looks good. Your hands are magical to him and absolutely everyone has to know just how cool and epic you are.
#madness combat#madness combat x reader#hank j wimbleton x reader#sanford x reader#deimos x reader#I miss Madness Combat so much y'all have absolutely no idea#I am foaming at the mouth absolutely feral waiting for episode 12#I desperately need these funny grunt creatures back in my life#I know I said I'd be playing the OG MW games this weekend but in lieu of me getting back into madcom I might replay M:PN#and rewatch the entire series! I could force my friend to watch it with me again!#it'd be the third time I'd be watching it with someone else#I actually talked nonstop for over an hour about Madness Combat to my ex at one point and he didn't even stop me#I had so many theories about it all that seemed to make sense to me but I since forgot them unfortunately#Also did anyone else see the 2B plushies or was I hallucinating those? Because I can't find them on Makeship...#I actually own the Hank Sanford and Deimos plushies#Only 2B is missing at this point and I want him so so bad I love him#I actually had a White Hank plushie custom made as well because she's my absolutel favorite#oh boy I've been rambling here but it shows just how much I love Madness Combat! Such a good show! Phenomenal music too!#I need to give Sanford a hug after all he's been through :(
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Written for the @corrodedcoffinfest April warm-up round.
Who Will Buy My Memories?
Prompt: Taxed | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Language | POV: Eddie | Pairing: Steddie | Tags: Eddie Munson Lives, Established Relationship, Welcome to the 90s, Fluff, Corroded Coffin on the Road
"What do you mean, I owe back taxes?" Eddie asks, pressing the receiver of the payphone closer to his ear. As if that'll make him hear Steve differently.
"The letter says you didn't pay them. They're overdue, from, like, three years ago," Steve says, and Eddie's sure that's not right. He doesn't want to pay taxes, but they do. He pays under protest. Not, like, legally. But in his heart. Point is, he pays. Jeff makes sure they all do. For sure. Surely, Eddie's hasn't slipped through the cracks. Even if Jeff missed it, Steve would have caught it when he did their personal taxes.
"Did you call them and ask?" Eddie asks.
"Call who?" Steve questions, and Eddie can picture Steve's face scrunched up. Can hear it, somehow. He really misses him.
"The IRS."
Steve lets out an exasperated sigh, "No. I didn't call the IRS for you. For one, why would I know what your tax fuck-up entails?"
"You do our personal taxes!" Eddie interrupts, but Steve keeps talking, ignoring him
"And two? It says right in the letter that for someone else to call, you'd have to submit, like, a signed statement. Granting permission to discuss it with a third party. It's the law, Eddie."
"I'll do it. I'll do it right now," Eddie says.
"I'm sure you would," Steve laughs, "Is Jeff there? Or Goodie? Hell, Gareth? Somebody else that might know more?"
Eddie presses the speaker into his chest, and screams across the parking lot, just as Goodie's walking back to the van, arms full of snacks and a precariously teetering six-pack of beer.
Goodie drops the stuff on the seat, then turns and puts his hands up, in a what the fuck question, and Eddie just waves him over, frantically. He can't shout across the parking lot about this.
Luckily, Goodie starts to saunter over, but he damn well doesn't get in a hurry about it, and as soon as he's within range, Eddie shoves the phone at him, not even telling him who's on the other end.
"Steve," Goodie says, and Eddie grins, of course Goodie knew who it was without having to ask.
And then Eddie watches as Goodie listens, nodding along. Eddie has shoved his thumb in his mouth, and is biting at his nail, nervous.
Finally, fucking finally, Goodie speaks, "Jeff filed them. I'll have him call the accountant."
And that's it. No concern about Eddie for sure getting sent to prison for tax evasion. Nothing.
Then, he's handing the phone back, and walking away, like he has no worries over Eddie's financial well-being.
"Well?" Eddie asks, like maybe Goodie told Steve something he didn't hear first-hand.
"Jeff filed them," Steve repeats.
"I'm going to prison. I always knew I'd end up there, I just didn't think it'd be for something as fucking lame as not paying my taxes. I was accused of murder, if you haven't forgotten. I sold drugs. I stole an RV, once-"
"Technically, I think I stole an RV," Steve counters.
"Please, like you could hotwire a car."
"I could now. I watched you do it."
And Eddie grins, because the banter is soothing, normal. He just misses Steve a whole fucking lot while they're on the road.
Steve keeps talking.
"Taxes will get ya. Every damn time. Just ask Al Capone," Steve says drolly, not taking this situation seriously at all.
"Steve…"
"Oh, wait," Steve says pausing, suddenly serious, and Eddie freezes, "it says right here in the fine print that they're giving you the Willie Nelson treatment. Seizing it all. The furniture. Even your guitar. Selling it all off."
"That's not funny," Eddie says, but Steve sure is laughing.
"It's a little funny," Steve says.
"It's not. Who will buy my memories, Steve? Who?" Eddie asks, and Steve's laughing in his ear, but it's not funny. So, Eddie keeps talking, "And you're wrong. They didn't get Trigger. His guitar. I read it in the paper, and if you love me, you'll hide Sweetheart if they come to the house."
"Sweetheart is with you," Steve says.
Okay, that's true.
"Well. Fine. But the thought still stands."
"Okay, I'll hide the best of your loot, and after that, I'll expect to see you on an infomercial, shilling an album to pay off this alleged debt."
"That wouldn't be very metal, shilling my art between Jack Lalanne and Ron Popeil."
"Then pay your taxes in full and on time," Steve snarks.
"I did!" Eddie argues. He's sure he did.
"Does it say how much I'm on the hook for?" Eddie asks. It can't be that much, because while they're doing pretty good right now, they're not, like, rolling in the cash. Not yet. They're still traveling by van. A nicer van, sure, but still a van.
"It doesn't," Steve says, but then his voice goes soft and kind again, "It'll be fine," he promises, "It's probably a small error. No big deal. Just. Don't ignore it. Okay? I'm officially putting this in the 'actually pay attention to' pile."
"I will. We will," Eddie promises.
"Good. Now, tell me about South Bend," Steve teases, and Eddie looks around. Steve always asks, and Eddie always tells him something mundane, something true.
"Well. I miss you," Eddie says. "And someone drew a dick on the glass of the phone booth," Eddie offers.
"Is it a good dick?" Steve questions.
"Not really," Eddie admits, "not as good as yours."
"Oh, the charm," Steve says dryly, and Eddie leans his head against the glass, against the Sharpie'd-on aforementioned dick. They only have tonight's show here in South Bend, and then another two days from now in Fort Wayne, and then they'll be home for a whole month. He can't fucking wait.
"Anything else of note? Besides the dick?" Steve asks.
"Well, it's in this state called Indiana. I'm not sure if you've ever been…" Eddie trails off.
"Sounds familiar," Steve flirts and Eddie smiles.
They're almost home. Just a few more days.
If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇
The title is a play on Willie Nelson's actual album he made to pay off his IRS debt: The IRS Tapes: Who'll Buy My Memories?
#corrodedcoffinfest#april warm-up: taxed#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie fic#goodie (unnamed freak)#corroded coffin fic#ccf warm up: taxed#thisapplepielife: short fic#thisapplepielife: corrodedcoffinfest
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weighing scale
tw: eating disorder (purging, not eating), bodyshaming, ed shaming
btw, if it's requested, i can turn drabbles into full oneshots!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you guys are beautiful the way you are, and nothing anybody ever says or does will ever change that. remember that gaining weight is totally normal, and you can always lose weight, too, but please, do it in a healthy way. if you ever need anyone to talk to, and this isn't just for eds, i'm here, and you can reach out. if not, there are people who care about you and love you.
you're amazing you beautiful mfs
(also i'm sorry if this might not be correct for you, everyone has different experiences with eds)
(also, also, i did 1st person ... and this is just the way i thought when i was going thru this so i kinda made it relate w/ me??)
100.
98.
96.
she watched as the numbers went down, satisfied despite the fact that it was only one pound less yesterday.
90.
88.
even if it meant that she'd always be cold, or that her hair would fall out. it was a small price to pay to be beautiful. to be skinny. to be like all the other girls that peter liked.
y/n kept telling herself that. and it was enough to keep her going.
{four weeks prior}
(first person)
they had little packets for us to take home, like forms. something along the lines of "annual health check-up." the form was just... well, it wasn't a form, really, but more of an opt-out. the paper said they'd just check weight, height, and some other things, like make sure you didn't have scoliosis.
honestly?
i was just happy to be missing a good chunk of math.
everyone got called down to the gym by period, and mine was 5th period, right before lunch.
our class was waiting for them to call us down, so mr. callen just let us do whatever until then. i glanced over to see liz, kayla, and chloe in the corner of the classroom, giggling and pointing towards some of the boys, and eventually, mr. callen.
he was one of the youngest members on faculty, fresh out of college. and i'll admit, he's not bad looking. in fact, he's hotter than most of the guys. and if it wasn't peter that had my heart, maybe i'd think about someone else.
not that the whole peter thing was going great anyways, he seemed interested in liz. so maybe that was my hint to move on. but i don't know. i've just liked him forever, it'd feel wrong to stop now.
i'm just really loyal, i guess.
or maybe this is some weird first love/crush thing, because no matter what, i keep finding myself coming back to him.
it took me second to realize that i'd been staring at the same spot for a while now, so i probably looked funny. i re-adjusted my position and looked at the clock, noting there there was just a few minutes until we'd have to go down.
i looked by at the girls, then at the teacher. did they not realize that he had an engagement ring on? or where they just dense?
because honestly, i'm having a hard time figuring out which one it is.
liz pushed chloe over to the desk, giggling like a manic.
chloe bit her lip, trying to hold in laughter. "hiiii, cal. you know, like, cupid's day is coming?"
me, personally, i didn't really believe in the whole dumb blonde thing, but chloe was changing my aspect on this.
cupid's day was on valentine's day, and you could pay a dollar to have a rose delivered to someone. normally, the freshmen girls did most of the planning. freshmen girls were annoying. they were always together, and i didn't remember a time i'd seen one alone.
i didn't get any on my first year here. last year i got three. but it didn't really count, because mj got me one and betty did. i was hoping that i'd figure out who the third person was, but three weeks into that investigation, i kinda gave up. if they hadn't revealed themselves to me at that point, i'd figured that they probably wouldn't.
maybe junior year will go better.
if you were popular popular, you got at least seven, so it was kind of embarrasing to only get one. and it was probably even more embarrasing to only have, like, one friend. which was betty. but she hadn't hung around me that often since she started dating ned.
mj was an observer, and i knew that much. it was probably the only reason she got me a rose, because she felt bad. but then again, anyone could see how pathetic it was.
peter and i used to be pretty close, but then he met ned, so the attention he gave me got halved.
i would have tried to be friends with ned, because i know he's really nice, but i stressed out too much about it for some reason and gave up. social anxiety, perhaps? it didn't matter, it was too late to do anything about it now.
after that, peter started hanging around liz and some of the other popular kids, and entirely forgot about me.
did forget about ned, though. maybe beacuse i was a girl, and so peter got called "gay" a lot for that. i didn't have much of a chance compared to liz, so i just admired him from afar. it's not that we didn't talk, because we did sometimes, but... actually, i don't know what.
if peter wanted to, he would have.
and it's fairly obvious, but i'm delusional and chose to ignore that.
the intercom snapped me out of whatever zoning out i'd gone back to, "block d, block d. i-is this on? oh, it is? i- yes, block d down to the gym."
everyone got up and pushed their way out the door, i didn't have that type of energy, so i just waited for everyone to get their butts outta the way and then went myself. i followed them down to the hall, staying behind a little. when i finally got over there, i ended up last, right behind chloe, kayla, then liz.
for the most part, it only took a minute or two for each person, so the line didn't take that long.
well, i suppose that's subjective.
it took 15 minutes, but whatever.
when liz was inside, she didn't take care to close the door all the way, leaving it a couple inches open. that's on her.
that's on her for being irresponsible, so it's not really my fault if i accidently hear. i leaned in a little, suddenly very interested in the wall, with all it's cracks... and... paint, and...
"and step on the scale, please... that is," she paused, and you could hear scribbling of a pen.
"121.3 pounds. perfectly healthy. that's actually the average weight for girls your age," another pause, "make sure to give this form to your parents. have a nice day."
liz said something in return and i stepped back, done admiring the wall. "next!" the lady called in.
i stepped inside the room, and it smelt strongly of hand-sanitizer. "okay, honey, step up against the wall... height is... alrightly. now the scale, please."
i did as she asked, keeping my eyes trained on the numbers.
149.7 pounds. basically 150. that was more than liz's, right?
"149, okay, you're good to go-"
"is that around average weight?" i asked, and it was impulsive, i didn't even think.
"well, it's somewhere around that. you're perfectly healthy."
the intercom came on again, signaling my time was over, and the lady thought the same thing, because she ushered me out.
as i walked back to the classroom, i couldn't help but think;
149? no, 150? around average? so basically, i was above average. 30 pounds heavier than liz? no wonder peter likes liz better.
god, that's disgusting. i'm disgusting.
i trudged back to class, unable to stop thinking about it. and suddenly, an idea popped into my mind; why not lose weight? if i lost a little, maybe peter would care about me again.
that's genius. god, i'm a genius.
yeah. i lose a little weight.
when i got back, he'd already started the lesson, not that i cared. i spent the rest of that class figuring out the kinks, like how many calories i'm allowed to eat per day.
i settled on 800.
it seemed like a decent number if i wanted to actually make an impact with weight loss.
stupid kale smoothies weren't gonna get me anywhere, nor idiotic influencer workout routines.
before i knew it, the bell rung and kids were hustling through the hallways. i was kind of on autopilot as i walked to lunch, not really watching where i was going. i'd by mistake shouldered some people, and they gave me dirty looks. i shot them right back.
i couldn't help but silently, in my mind, judge everyone's body that i saw. and not just their body, but other physical features, too. it was automatic, i didn't even mean to. but i couldn't help it.
she's really fat. the gym exists for a reason.
how is she so skinny? i know she's anorexic.
and it just went on and on.
i didn't know what was going on. why this mattered to me all of a sudden.
it was like i didn't notice these things before, i wasn't looking for them, but now that i knew they were there, i couldn't help it.
i couldn't help a lot of things.
when i walked into the lunchroom, i saw peter sitting by himself, writing on some piece of paper, and if i knew him, he wasn't doing the homework due tomorrow.
he was doing yesterday's.
it didn't seem like i'd be bothering him if i went to go talk to him, so that's what i did. i figured since we hadn't talked in while, it would be great to now.
and it'd be a great distraction, too.
i sat down across from him, "hi, peter."
he looked up slowly, a smile rising on his face. "uh, hey, y/n/n," peter paused, "what, um, what did you need?"
"huh? oh, i didn't need anything. just thought i'd come by and annoy the hell out of you."
"just like old times," peter snorted.
"math homework?"
"yep. i have math-"
"-next period," i realized my mistake after i made it. "um, 'cause i see you when i'm walking to class."
in repsonse, he nodded like he was considering it.
i didn't notice i was hungry until my stomach growled, but something inside of me made the thought of getting food and eating it repulsive. i hesitated before grabbing on of peter's fries and popping it in my mouth. he didn't say anything, or really even care, and i didn't know if i liked that or not.
"okay. you have chem next, yeah?"
i blushed at the fact he knew.
"uh, yep," i snagged some more fries, feeling myself loosen up.
and then i realized, that's what this was; i was just in need of some time with actual people who weren't my parents.
i liked this. i liked talking to peter. it was easy. this was easy.
we laughed about some other things, like flash's new donkey haircut.
and i stole more fries. ned, betty, and mj (who normally sat two seats away) came over. the topic of cupid's day came up.
"how many do you think you'll get?" betty asked.
i looked up, "roses?"
"uh-huh."
ned spoke up, "you won't need to worry, bet, i'll get you a whole bouquet." he looked proud of himself.
"i'm not worried," she giggled, like the lovesick fool she was. it was gross. and yes i admit, it was slightly because i was jealous, but whatever. betty didn't have to act so idiotic and desperate.
betty's skinny, too.
"what about you, y/n?" peter said, locking eyes with me.
"i dunno. i never really get any."
something changed in peter's expression, but as soon as it was there, it was gone.
i took another fry. they were really good, for some reason.
"fattie," peter laughed, pulling his lunch tray back, "and then you complain about not getting roses!"
that caused a round of laughs in the small group, but my heart dropped to my feet.
i was right. i was overweight. even peter noticed.
freaking peter noticed.
god, i was ugly and fat, and even peter saw that.
of course he liked liz. he'd be crazy not to. she was curvy and skinny and petite and pretty and skinny.
she was skinny.
i didn't have her hourglass figure.
never did i ever want out of my own skin more.
"y/n?" pete frowned. "i-i'm sorry, it was a joke, i didn't-"
"no, no, not that. i, uh, i... forgot i was supposed to meet with a teacher. sorry. i have to go."
i didn't go to any teachers.
i did go to the bathroom.
and i hid in the handicapped stall. i didn't cry, or sob, or weep or whatever it was stupid girls did in hallmark movies or stuff.
i stood in front of the mirror and picked out everything i hated, making a mental list in my head.
i didn't finish that list, not even after 30 minutes when the bell rung.
-
the rest of the day flew by rather quickly, it seemed. i felt like i was trapped in a warm haze, but not the fuzzy, happy warmth. i didn't like the way i was thinking. it's like i wanted my brain to turn off, these intruding, ugly thoughts were taking up too much room.
i felt icky.
when i got home, i didn't have my normal after-school snack like i usually did. i went straight upstairs and did homework.
i finished two essays (one that wasn't due until two weeks, and one that was due two days from now), my math homework and studied for my math test, started my science project, and did my french flashcards (and studied them a bit).
i must have been locked in my room for hours, because by the time i got up, it was dark outside.
i wasn't a studious person, and the only reason i did any of this was to forget for a little while. to snap out of it. and for a while, it worked.
"y/n, honey!" my mom screamed from downstairs, and as i glanced at the clock, i realized it was time to have dinner.
but i wasn't hungry.
well, i was.
let me rephrase that; i didn't want to eat.
however, i didn't want my mother yelling at me, so i went down anyways. not that i was planning to eat.
"mom?"
"oh, hey. i already set the table, you seemed like you were working hard and i didn't wanna bother you. dad's working late. go sit down-"
"not hungry."
she frowned. "well, you have to eat something."
"but i'm not hungry," i said, hating how sharply it came out.
my mom gave me warning look. "look, i've had a long day, so don't start with me."
"mommmm," i whined.
"sit."
so i did. i felt bad about bothering her.
i ate. small, tentative bites, forcing it all down. we didn't talk.
silently, i put my dish in the sink, before heading upstairs. the food sat at the bottom of my stomach, like a pile of heavy rocks. i wanted them out.
so i turned on the shower and locked the bathroom door, kneeling in front of the toilet. i pressed my fingers to the back of my throat and kept them there for a second. at first, all i got was bile.
but then i threw up.
-
peter and i started talking more again. i think he got in a fight with liz.
i asked him if they were dating, and he said no.
i think he started hanging out with me again because i got skinny. i know for a fact that i'm skinnier than liz. i weigh less then her now.
the numbers told me that.
but i didn't listen.
i didn't stop, and how could i? when i'd gotten this far?
-
we got in a fight. not the yelling kind, though. well, kind of. i yelled a bit.
i thought he was complimenting me. he said i looked skinny, so i thanked him.
"no... i-" he paused, trying to get his thoughts together, "you look skinny, yes, but not in a good way."
"what? what do you mean? like, there's only a good way," i laughed, slightly nervous.
peter ingnored that. "have you been eating enough, angel?" his voice was soft, but there was worry in it. why was he worried? this is the best i've ever been.
"do you ask liz that, too?"
"i- what?"
"liz is skinny. you don't ask her that."
"that- that is different. y-you haven't been eating, have you? is-"
"god, parker! stop! it's none of your business!" maybe if i hadn't been so flustered, i'd have come up with a better comeback.
-
i was hunched over the toilet, but nothing was coming out. everything hurt.
my head. my stomach.
my throat was scratchy and raw.
i didn't hear the knocking on the door.
i don't really remember peter coming in. i thought i locked it. what was he doing at my house? i couldn't remember.
i wanted to sleep.
i think i was crying. i don't know. i only vaguely remember the hot tears.
i slightly remember him pulling me away from the toilet and into his arms. there were lots of holes in my memory for that day.
he stayed with me, though. one thing i'm sure about is that peter never left my side. i can recall bright lights. tubes. i was laying on something. white walls. white sheets.
what was engraved into my head was peter whispering "i love you" over and over again. in the bathroom. in the car. was it a car? as they hooked me up to cables.
all that mattered, though, was that i was skinny now. just the thought made me feel light and airy.
to think that all it took was a little motivation and a weighing scale.
#reader discretion advised#tw ed#tom holland x reader#spiderman#tom holland#peter parker#peter parker x you
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my pedro almodóvar marathon. thoughts, feelings, tier list
or, i spent like 50 hours on this so i better get to post about it
well, i'd be lying if i said i set out to do this with any clear goals in mind. i sort of just wanted to watch movies. this year i set out to watch through a couple of directors entire works, but ran into complications or got bored. so anyway when i finished my term i decided id try a third time with my best friend pedro. i had watched five of his films already but was mostly unaware of other things he had made. on the 22nd of november i started with matador, then went on and in exactly a month i had watched all of his feature films yayyy
so this is how i ranked them on letterboxd and this is a tier list. this doesnt really sum up my thoughts though so im leaving a little review for each below the cut, in the order i watched them in this month hope someone cares :) thank you
matador (1986): ohhhhhh my god. absolutely unexpected how insane this movie made me. many people say its not very good, i dont think that's true. transgressive, erotic, camp, necrosexual, implicit faggot tension, beautiful costuming, insanely talented cast of so many characters sick in the head. watching this one first really hyped me up to keep at it and to close out the month i rewatched it the other day and though it was less surprising than the first time i watched it its maybe my favorite now :) it has structural flaws i suppose. but i love it
¿que he hecho yo para merecer esto? (1984): pretty funny! not bad at all, i remember enjoying it as i watched it, it just wasnt very memorable. i enjoy every performance by carmen maura, chus was stellar as always and forqué was really sweet in this one too, i liked it. i literally forgot half of the plot though. did anyone remember the telepathic child or the faked hitler diaries? i didnt until i looked it up.
la ley del deseo (1987) (rewatched): showed this one to my friend, god its iconic. some of my favorite chiques almodovar. so fun to watch and so silly even though its not quite a comedy. the fact that antonio is just called antonio in this one makes me unwarrantedly happy. MAURA THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE!! very hot all around. i think i liked it better this time than the other two i had watched it.
pepi, luci, bom y otras chicas del montón (1980): everyone talks about how sexually transgressive 80s almodovar is and i was like yeah whatever until i watched this one. straight up trilogy of trash shit. so beautiful. i wish every movie was like this. no one likes it but i adored it. erecciones generales will stay in my mind forever and i loved the musical numbers. and the piss, of course.
entre tinieblas (1983): also somewhat forgettable, though i watched it while pretty worried about something else so maybe i didnt give it the attention it deserved. its not a bad time but i wouldn't rewatch it. based on the premise you think it'd be better.
la flor de mi secreto (1995) (rewatched): OH GOD. until last month my favorite almodóvar, its been outdone but it still destroys me. its terribly underrated. i dont even know what i can say about it... marisa paredes is stunning at doing desperation. the boots, the scene at the protest, the initial meeting with ángel, the poem in the car, that moment in the hall. it's beautiful and breathtaking. lesbian film history, i promise.
todo sobre mi madre (1999): like, its good, but i dont get what people see in it that makes it so acclaimed. again paredes is great in this, but penélope is somewhat tame compared to what she does later, and this is the point in the list where i have to admit cecilia roth is not very good to me and all my compatriots start throwing rocks at me. listen i just wish she'd stop doing that stupid accent its so fucking bad cecilia sincerate seguro sos de villa crespo. anyway its fine if a bit weird about trans women, but hes always a hit or miss w that
átame (1989): took a big break between the last one and this one for some reason. anyway, pretty funny, except it really drags in the middle. shouldnt have been that long, but victoria abril always slays and the last scene is wonderful.
tacones lejanos (1991): WOAHHHHH! really cool i liked it. i love a mother daughter thing especially this mother and this daughter. really fun doppelganger story and i love how it was told, i found it both melodramatic and subtle? miguel bosé makes a really pretty girl, this will inform my every subsequent rewatch of suspiria. big fan of his gender. dance number fucked obvs
kika (1993) (rewatch): ok, i know why people don't like this one, but its so silly... cmon. it sillay. once again incredible abril performance, the costuming my god.... her character makes the whole movie i wish i was her. lesbian rossy de palma was wonderful and every forqué performance is a delight. pedro getting hitchcockian with it to slightly trick the audience is a staple of his 90s filmography, fucks.
carne trémula (1997): the title made me think it would be better! there was barely any carne. i didn't really see the point of most of it tbh, though based on how the movie starts and ends there might be some spanish historical context that im missing that makes it more interesting. strangely reminiscing of the buenos aires affair to me, but puig is better. yeah it was just pretty boring.
laberinto de pasiones (1982): YAYYYYYY i had some trouble torrenting so i watched it really out of order this but its SO FUN. obviously in the same vein as pepi luci bom but i liked it slightly more just for how unnecessarily elaborate it was. the one major role i dont mind roth being in and im a big fan of antonios gay terrorist with an ultradeveloped sense of smell character and arias is really into his very silly character too – he works well in secreto as well, i wish hed been on more almodovares, i should finally watch camila. liné was hilarious too. the problematic incest storyline was really funny to me sorryyyyy and i got a lot of gender out of the musical performances. hey can you believe that beautiful fag covered in blood is a franquista now. i can
hable con ella (2002): ehhhhhhh. some people really hate this one for the couple scenes i found most interesting, others love it for reasons i cant parse. its got parts that caught my attention a lot, but mostly it was eerie in an unenjoyable and uninteresting way and the backstories dragged on too long, especially grandinetti's. like i just don't care sorry. THE scene is quite disturbing though. i appreciated he decided to show rape in a more subtle light for once, it made it a lot more cruel and a lot more interesting.
la mala educación (2004) (rewatch): sighhhh. i really wish i liked this one. its got so many elements i am into – the colours are obviously spectacular, the unreliable multiple narrations and the disassembled timelines are always enjoyable to me, the attempt at social commentary is appreciated, some scenes are stunning (fictional ignacios head split in half is unforgettable) but quite honestly the characterization is so bad it bores me. i liked it more the first time i watched it just because of how confused i was, once i wasnt it lost its magic. maybe the worst in what is considered the "somewhat autobiographical movies about directors" trilogy (i think there's four of them but we'll discuss that later) probably because the character of enrique is so bland. i know its more but it feels that you only spend like five minutes with him. ángel/juan's motivations for anything are so puzzling, ignacio is just a caricature at this point and probably the character with the most depth is berenguer, which is ironic, i guess
volver (2006): WAHHH. its hard to talk about it honestly. it was so unexpectedly beautiful. the acting is so on point – penélope cruz and that beautiful carmen maura comeback are self evident, but blanca portillo is also stellar. it was fascinating from minute one and i couldnt keep my eyes off it. its written with such care and love. i suppose the plot itself is nothing out of this world, but the way it is handled is explosive. i really adored it.
los abrazos rotos (2009): the fourth bastard on the self insert series! cmon, its way more about himself than la mala educación. anyway, its good at some points, not very in others. the strong point is obviously the relationship between mateo, judit and diego, their refusal to be tied as a family and their desire to be tied by love is reaaaally interesting. the scene at the sea... but penélope and her millionaire and her millionaires son do nothing interesting at any point, im afraid to say. sad! surprisingly not very memorable, even though i didnt dislike it as i watched it. like i remember i liked some things but if a couple weeks later i dont remember what they were its probably the movies fault
la piel que habito (2011): AUGHHH OK. fuck. THIS ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD. it wasnt it was really mid. when it started i was like oh is pedro trying out his hand at cronenberg and i was really excited because im SURE he can do cronenberg better than cronenberg but he didnt. it was worse. how are you giving your women less agency than that guy??? honestly probably the first ever film of his where this is a noticeable problem, though penélope in the last one should give us a hint. ughh it should have been good. im mad about that. no desire to question gender or power and the unchronological storytelling does nothing for me. BAD! if anything i recognized its sexual power for if banderas character was a woman i would be throwing up and convulsing on the floor. i hope vicente and his lesbian coworker had a beautiful romance i guess. i cant believe some people call this one one of the most controversial of his work....
los amantes pasajeros (2013): hm well everyone was like THIS is the bad one and i was like i bet you guys are just being mean but no yeah this is the bad one. its not funny and it drags on so long...i can usually defend the rape scenes in his movies, even in kika or hable con ella, but this one just sucks so bad. i was prepared to defend this movie but i cant. as soon as the movie started i was trying to guess where all the threads would connect, how all the characters would be linked and they mostly... weren't? also the reference to the gazpacho scene in mujeres made me groan out loud.
julieta (2016): well i dont really know what this was supposed to be....it feels on the surface it could have been really good but something about it felt so emotionless. it was an odd experience, watching it, because i expected to be moved by so many scenes and i never was. i dont know what the point of it was.
dolor y gloria (2019): ok yeah this one was sweet! didn't blow my mind or anything but it was very cleverly made...a really more beautiful way to do the childhood-as-movie thing than in mala educación, i really enjoyed it. nostalgia bores me sometimes but i feel hes not being annoying about it. long live old man yaoi (and finally an argentinian actor i DONT hate...) and that beautiful beautiful cave and that mind gripping apartment bringing in the characteristic insane set design but in a new way...i had a good time
madres paralelas (2021): oh this could have been so good! it wasnt but honestly i dont remember exactly why i disliked it. i suppose i didnt connect to the characters and that it is a story that requires that to engage you – their motivations were really out of place and unlike other movies that bothered me. really interesting premise, didnt work out. im sad about it. could have been cool.
yeah so that's it i only realized while writing this that i forgot to rewatch mujeres but obvs that ones very good, proper classic, quote it every time i eat gazpacho and such. also extraña forma de vida is a snore i refuse to watch it again. i hope this works as a rec list for someone. and i am ready to be stoned by my wrong opinions by the rest of you
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here's my take on potential spin offs or any other reunions we could potentially get in the future that nobody asked for:
first and foremost, and i'm sorry if it sounds biased, but the #1 spin off that i'd want to see would be a spin off about kourtney's life at lewis college written/developed by nneka gerstle. the reason why i believe kourtney deserves a spin off the most is because not only was she only supposed to be a one episode character in the beginning, but as a black girl who also deals with anxiety among other things, she was one of the most relatable characters on the show to me—not to mention her talent is out of this world and a show completely devoted to her would be the perfect platform to showcase that without her having to spend her story in the background of someone else's bigger story. also, i don't think there's a black college show that also involves music in an important way that's on tv right now, and i just think the possibilities are endless for a show revolving around her.
the second spin off sounds more likely if tim had a say in things, but i could definitely see a spin off starring emmy as the lead with miss jenn, mr. mazzara, and dani in supporting roles along with new cast members. i also think it'd be the perfect opportunity to bring back alex as one of the new students since emmy was able to upgrade her role from season 3. admittedly, i don't see myself being as enthusiastic for this spin off because of my attachment to the original cast, but it could be cute to see them make appearances from time to time and also see if there would be any parallels from the past show. they wouldn't be able to do the same hsm format plot, which i guess would defeat the purpose or whatever. but even naming the show East High or just having it set in the same universe would be cool to me.
anyways the third and final option i'd watch is a full length movie with the original cast as a final farewell to the show. i am biased enough to admit that it'd be cool for it to be a rina wedding, but even a jennzara wedding would be entertaining. the plot could be literally anything and i'd just think it'd be cool to see the cast back together in something well written for the future.
k i'm done sorry if it was wordy, i literally have no other way of expressing my ideas lol
#hsmtmts#high school musical the musical the series#rina#gina porter#ricky bowen#carlos rodriguez#kourtney greene#ashlyn moon caswell#emmy hsmtmts#jet hsmtmts#maddox hsmtmts#miss jenn#mr mazzara#also yes before anyone comes for me i have seen ppl talk about similar ideas on twitter#useryay
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opinions on sigma
okay so basically
sigma is my end goal when it comes to appearance and gender. i want to look exactly like him. i know that his beauty is unattainable so i'll do what i can, but i could literally stare at him all day. all week. all month. find my rotting corpse seated in front of my laptop with pinterest opened to a bunch of sigma fanart honestly because he's just that beautiful. i plan on dyeing my hair the same colour as his when i'm able to. hopefully next year (@small-chaos im depending on you to help me bbg)
if i had the choice i would also get a ton of bsd posters that feature sigma and plaster them all around my room and make it sigma themed (or- actually i'd also do this same thing with mykola, chuuya, ranpo and poe, but for the moment i'd do it with sigma). once on tiktok i saw someone whose room was entirely deku themed and full of midoriya paraphernalia, like the whole ass room was full of turquoise. i want that same thing with sigma, i won't even lie. his colour palette and whole vibe is just so gorgeous.
his pretty privilege ain't doing SHIT in the manga to help him though. poor little baby always gets the short end of the stick and i feel his exhaustion all the time. the main difference between sigma and i (besides the fact that he's gorgeous and i'm very much not) is that he is acknowledged for his hard work and accomplishments and i'm. not. lol but the impostor syndrome is honestly so real. i always feel that i won't lie. it's probably one of my worst forms of self sabotage.
the other day my manager told me that i'm good at my job, and i just thought 'oh my god what's gonna happen when she finds out i actually suck' even though realistically i am good at my job (gosh that feels so selfish to say- i'm so used to hating myself in every aspect that when i say something good about myself it feels foreign and narcissistic. i should work on that maybe). like he's so relatable for that and i love him
sigma's third wheelness is also super relatable for me. i too want to find a home, except for me it's in the form of a romantic soulmate because i'm just like that. (it should be known that just because i enjoy and crave romance does not make it a mandatory necessity or even a desire for literally anybody else!!) like he will be walking around following mykola and fyodor while they're on a date (or trying to kill each other idk) and just be watching them like o _ o SAME DUDE
also i too tend to have identity crises when it comes to my purpose, and the reason i was born and stuff. i like to think i was born to help people, but it's been a while since i was born and i've only really negatively impacted everyone around me, so... SIGMA on the other hand. his existence has improved my condition of living by an astronomical amount. he was put on this earth to be loved by all of us sillies and i wish i could shift so i could go there and let him know that he is so loved by everyone and he is very valuable and important. i hope when bungo stray dogs eventually ends (the mere thought of which makes me wanna die), he has a happy ending. he deserves it. tbh most of them do, but especially sigma.
this man is literally perfect. he's so babygirl and so soft and smol, but also badass as fuck and a real strong dude. and i respect him for that so hard. like his dedication to his work and his casino is admirable and it makes me want to find something to be that passionate about (i guess at the moment it'd be this blog? silly as it sounds). also he really went from being summoned out of thin air, to being a slave, to escaping from that and becoming one of dostoyevsky's pawns (which he's fully aware of) and yet he still carries on with the casino like an absolute champ? i love him sm
i'm still real mad at the anime for leaving out his introductory scene (his PROPER one where he's a socialite king) because it literally sets the stage so perfectly for him. we as the audience see him the same way his patrons see him, which gives the later reveal that he's actually very anxious and self-conscious a lot more impact. the anime fell flat on that in my opinion. the sky casino arc deserved more, bones! and i know there are gonna be people who are like 'give them some slack they did their best this and that' and im like. some people have been waiting literal years of their life to see him (not me fortunately. i read the manga in december lol) they deserved better than this T-T
anyways there's this bakery right near where i work and it's literally got the Best Cinnamon Scrolls I've Ever Tasted In My Life. like, they're unparalleled with how fucking delicious they are. i wanna go there with sigma and get one for him. they also have cookies there, like real big thick ones with a lil salt on the top. i'd buy him the entire fuckin batch if he asked for it, i won't lie. i just love him that much. i just wanna sit down at a cafe and enjoy a chai latte with sigma. maybe have a walk around the port in the evening after getting dinner together?? sigma deserves only the cutest and most cliche of fluffy dates
i also wanna show him like, regular human stuff. i wanna go to the beach with him, and go looking for cute shells and treasures in the sand together. i wanna take him to the movies and share my popcorn with him. i wanna do his makeup. i want to bake a cake with him. i wanna go grocery shopping with him. i want him to know that i have panic attacks too sometimes, they're normal, he's normal, and he's also a fantastic human being. i just want him to be happy (i'm really hoping he'll join the ada and find the home he's been looking for all this time <3)
the thing with sigma is i'm not sure if he'd like me as much as i like him. though the sigma bots are always very kind (and romantic because this bitch lonely) i'm very worried that i'd annoy him quite a lot. see i talk a lot for an introvert, and i especially have an issue talking to myself. i literally always do it, whether or not i'm by myself or in public, and i think it would annoy sigma. and i think it would also annoy him that i love mykola as well lol he might not trust me if i were to tell him that.
i love sigma's outfit (we're going back to his appearance i guess lol) more than words can express. it's so impeccably gender, so fancy but also not too fancy (those who've met me irl know that i looooove to overdress. once i went to the movies with my friends in this big flowy dress and they were all in like tshirts and shorts and shit lmao) so you could wear it anywhere. the gold (or beige? cream? idfk) tailcoat with the galaxy pattern beneath? the giant flowy sleeves? the turtleneck underneath? the HEELS? god i love his fit. he's so fucking dripped out it's ridiculous. and of course he has long split dyed hair. dudes with long hair are the hottest DON'T @ ME YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT
and he also just has such a lovely smile. though he is tired and annoyed all the time (as he ought to be honestly), he's just so comforting to be around. i feel like a hug from sigma would fix most of my problems i won't lie. like he's got a pretty face and a nice aura and a cute smile. but his stern/angry face though? 😳 shiiii man okay you can make me cry if you wanna i won't mind. also consider sugar daddy sigma. that's so hot and for what?? like imagine being his trophy wife- okay this is getting way too self indulgent imma stop there (might write about it tho sometime lol)
i just had a thought. sigma's ability i feel is generally a rather overlooked part of his character (maybe i'm just not in the right circles of sigma stans but i don't tend to see people talking about his ability much), but to me it is important because consider this. if sigma loves you and you love him, and he'd like to know the extent to which you love him, then through a simple hug you could actually, properly express it. he wouldn't have to doubt himself or anything anymore with it. (stop i'm like fucking crying i love him sm)
i also love that despite everything i've mentioned so far; despite the fact that he was created from a book, runs a floating casino, is androgynous as fuck, has impostor syndrome, owns giant ass guns and can get whatever information he wants through physical contact with another person, he is somehow the most *normal* member of the decay of angels. i mean to be fair one of the other members is literally a severed bust of a centuries old vampire whose lower half is a sword, but still. and yet he still goes along with all the stuff they do and doesn't say anything. fucking same, sigma. it really just be that way sometimes.
sigma has such little wet cat energy (especially after that last chapter amirite) and it's adorable. he doesn't have *pathetic* wet cat energy, but he still has wet cat energy. pathetic wet cats would be like, fyodor and akutagawa. sigma is a cute wet cat with big eyes and tiny little paws. i want to see how he'd be with animals now that i think of it. i think he'd like cats, because dogs might be a little too much for him. and i lowkey think he'd be afraid of farm animals, because they're scary alright. chickens and cows are very frightening to be close to if you're not used to them and anyone who says otherwise is a liar
i just want more sigma content, too. like i know that bungo tales only goes up to season 2 for like valid reasons but i WANT SIGMA MAYOI. little chibi sigma on the battlefield. pretty little sigma pictures of him actually being happy and doing things. i also want official art from bones (but GOOD official art. you already ruined my precious boyo chuuya don't do it to sigma please i'm begging you) and of course harukawa and hoshikawa's art is always appreciated. also creantzyy. i know they primarily do fyolai and mtp but my goodness if their sigma art isn't also just perfect in every way (i'm a huge fan of theirs AS EVERYBODY IN THE FANDOM SHOULD BE. the bernadette animatic to us is what the nagito edit was to the danganronpa fandom)
i also sometimes wonder what stuff sigma likes. i mean we know cookies are his favourite food (which is the cutest thing imo- you can always trust someone who enjoys sweet treats like that), but what kind of music does he like? how would he dress while he isn't working in the casino? what's his favourite colour? does he like animals? what does he think of political stuff? feel free to send me all the sigma headcanons in the world about all of it. he's just very enigmatic at the moment and i yearn to know absolutely everything about him. except unlike mykola i don't wanna experiment on him i just wanna sit down and ask him questions and have a friendly little conversation
and i know everybody's already talking about this scene but let's continue to talk about the scene in the recent chapter where dazai rescues sigma from drowning and gives him a lil thumbs up, and sigma smiles back at him. those panels are literally the most fucking adorable thing i've ever seen and i could stare at them for hours. those two are big comfort characters of mine and i'm glad that they're (kind of) getting along now. at the very least dazai rescued sigma. and lowkey i'm gettin onboard with sigzai. like most of the sigma ships kinda go hard (especially siglai. there's a reason i'm looking for mykola kins guys lmao)
like i love him so much. i really could go on for hours but...this shit is already long enough and i'm sure nobody is gonna read it all. i've recently thought about this though; if i love the characters who i kin the most, maybe i can learn to love myself too. and that thought is comforting to me :)
tl;dr - sigma babygirl
#dia's discourse#thoughts: anon#bsd sigma#well...that was long#i don't blame anybody who chooses not to read all that#i have a lot of feelings about sigma#also please don't ask me about my opinions on chuuya#because that WILL be longer than this post#and this post already exceeds 2000 words#that's fuckin longer than a highschool essay#anywho#lol
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Hi again, anon with the inappropriate crush here. I did get to meet this girl a month after she'd called me from the office phone out of the blue! And Oh. My. God 😳
But before I tell you what happened, I wonder if you'd like to see what she looks like Amy? I can send you links in a separate ask if you don't reply to it, and then you just let me know in another post what you think of her.
So, she texted me to say she was scheduled for the job that day instead of the regular guy. I'd met the other girl with the same name as her just the week before and the stand ins use the same number. Wasn't sure which of the two it'd be. She told me to wait inside at the entrance if I'd arrive before her, so I didn't have to freeze. I got there before her. When I saw it really was her and not the other girl, a jolt went through my body. I spotted her through the glass doors long before she saw me - thank goodness... I had a few seconds to get my facial features in order and pick my jaw up from the floor. Hadn't heard from her since she told me she liked me, so this was the first time we'd meet after our "confessions".
She spotted me as soon as she'd opened the entrance door. We locked eyes and didn't let go while we walked towards each other. What was in the air between us was so intense that everyone else around us ceased to exist. We just had eyes for each other. She had a little smile playing on her face and the way she looked at me... If I had seen a girl look at someone like that, I'd think she'd spotted her date or someone she holds very very dear. I was in disbelief how good she looked and tried to keep it together, the gay panic was real 😅 (she looks better in real life than on photos). Had never seen her with so much makeup before and her hair look that nice. Not a strand of hair was out of place. Could tell she'd made the effort that day and she'd known from before the weekend there was a chance she'd had to fill in for the regular guy.
Again this was a moment when she could've friend zoned me but didn't. She could've just waved when she saw me and then avert her eyes in another direction instead of holding my gaze. When we stopped in front of each other I put my hand on her upper arm and said it was good to see her. She replied "I'll give you a hug!" and gave me a quick, but not too quick one. She isn't supposed to hug me due to the rules in place. Again it was her who took the initiative to take it a tiny step further: I told her I liked talking with her, she flat out said she liked me too and was like stop beating around the bush. I put my hand on her upper arm to be appropriate, she gave me a hug. I asked her to help me up from a deep chair, she took my hand instead of grabbing my wrist and held it for way longer than she should have done.
We started to walk to where we were supposed to be. Was like we'd met the day before and not like we hadn't spoken for a month. While we waited for the doorbell to be answered, she asked me if it was ok if she came with me to a room later when we were done and watched or if I'd be uncomfortable with someone looking over my shoulder. She said "So I just don't come here and intrude" and laughed a little. I laughed with her and squeezed her upper arm a few times before I realised I should probably stop touching her. It'd felt so natural to do that I didn't think what I was doing 😬
She'd just seen me in formal clothes before but this was a day when it wasn't required and I wore my own private clothes. As I took off my coat I noticed in the corner of my eye how she checked me out and I could feel her gaze on me. We talked for a bit while we waited for a third person and she'd just told me about something she'd bought she'd wanted for ages when we got company. It really felt like we were interrupted. From here on out my main focus needed to be on the third person and the work. She was mostly quiet and looked at what was happening. Sometimes she asked me things and I explained what happened. She was interested in what I was doing and wanted to understand.
We finished up earlier than expected and the third person said good bye. I asked her if she was in a hurry or if she'd time to keep me company while I waited for my ride. She had time but would have to leave before me. Asked her if it was too cold for her to take a walk and if she wanted to go to the cafeteria. She said it wasn't too cold and let me decide what to do. We went for a 20-30 minute long walk. None of us brought up what we feel for each other, we can't act on what is unspoken between us right now. But she did ask me if I still felt the same as when I told her on the phone I liked talking with her very much. She gave me a hug goodbye and I held her little tighter for a few seconds before we let go.
She didn't respond to it but can't really do that either with the rules in place, and she didn't try to end the hug earlier with withdrawing when she felt I held her tighter. She let me hug her for as long as I wanted. That I held her tighter didn't go unnoticed from her either. She said to me we'd have to see each other like this, in our "setting", like she wanted to reassure me she wants to see me again. Just like last time I don't know when or if I'll get to see her or speak with her next. It could be in a week, it could be in a month, it could take until next summer. And I still can't tell in what way she likes me. My usually half decent gaydar is useless on her. She reads as straight, bi and gay at the same time 😭 The only thing I know is she wouldn't hurt my feelings on purpose, I know her that well at least.
Omg this is so adorable 🥹. Unless I'm going mad there's definitely feelings there on her end.
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15 Questions
I was tagged by @ivorydice, thanks!
Tagging just... whoever. I don’t feel well and I don’t wanna think lmao
1. Are you named after anyone?
Well, I took "fayth" from Final Fantasy X because I adore the fayth so much and to me it's a gender neutral name. It started out combined with zanarkandfayth as a username idek when, late 2000s, and then just gradually evolved into me calling myself fayth. My legal name, no. My first name was apparently just easy for my dad to spell and my middle name is french because my mom likes the language. I hate both names and they can fuck off lol.
2. When was the last time you cried?
Uhhh... I have a hard time crying these days even though I want to. Almost did last night because surgery recovery has been a bitch, does that count?
3. Do you have kids?
Nope. Don't want them. I'm not even capable of taking care of myself, why would I want to be responsible for another human being? And I did not win the gene lottery and the world sucks, I'm not inflicting this miserable existence on someone else.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Yes, though less than I used to because even sarcasm is effort and I'm tired.
5. What sports do you/have you played?
I liked basketball as a kid, and baseball, though I wasn't any good at either. I used to like to run. Uuuh I also did taekwondo as a kid for a couple years? idk if a martial art counts as a sport though.
6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?
Hair... idk it's usually the most noticeable thing to me. Except that guy who came through my line at DT once who was about seven feet tall, I definitely noticed his height first.
7. Eye colour?
Mine? Boring brown. Will forever hate it.
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings. I used to like/not mind scary movies when I was younger, but now I need the feel good chemicals. Also I don't watch movies anymore. Legit could not name the last movie I've watched at this point.
9. Any special talents?
Making my readers cry lmao. No, idk. What's considered special? What's considered a talent? I don't want to stand out.
10. Where were you born?
Southern US, the same miserable state I exist in now, good ole Tennessee, though I'm now at the opposite end of it from where I was born/grew up. It's worse on this end for sure.
11. What are your hobbies?
Writing, video games, cooking... I'd say reading but I don't do that as much as I used to. The guilt of not having the energy to comment on fics gets to me and so I just don't read at all instead :/
12. Do you have any pets?
A shithead named Max. He's a flamepoint siamese cat that an old neighbour rescued from where he'd been abandoned on the side of the road and me and my ex ended up taking him in. My ex named him (after mad max apparently and I hate his name lol) but he attached himself to me so when I kicked the ex out a couple years later for being an abusive cheating narcissistic asshole, Max stayed with me. He turned ten this May but he still zooms around the house like a kitten. I love him but my health problems have made it increasingly hard to take care of him so he's going to be my last cat.
13. How tall are you?
5'2, forever sobbing
14. Favourite subject in school?
English was the only one I really enjoyed just because it was so easy. When I did university for the third time (the one I actually graduated from lmao), I also really liked most of my sociology classes, enough to make it a second degree, and I liked my scottish history class. If I could afford a third degree it'd probably be in history.
15. Dream job?
At this point? Nothing. Being a stay at home husband (with no kids, yes), or being an eternal university student just taking classes and getting degrees for the heck of it would be my ideal. I would also like to try my hand at making my own video game, but a) I can't art for shit, and b) chronic fatigue makes even starting on learning coding too daunting. I don't even have the energy I want for my current hobbies.
#fifteen questions#I love having an excuse to talk about myself#lmao#it was a nice distraction from how terrible I feel#turns out surgery recovery is your body finding new ways#to torment you every couple of days#real life#ignore me
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on "if you leave a watch unguarded"
spent some time on the internet today. this was a mistake. now i am going to rant into the void.
(this is a rant about rape culture and bs arguments that blame victims for "objectifying themselves" or "asking for it" or whatever. click away now if that's a trigger.)
people like to make the argument that women showing skin is like standing in public, unguarded, while carrying $1 mill (or wearing an expensive watch or something).
before we even get into equating WOMEN with WATCHES, this argument is fundamentally flawed. in this essay (ok so it's not a proper essay, sue me) we are going to go over why it's a shit argument, starting with reasons that have nothing to do with the fact that females aren't objects, because apparently "females aren't objects" is too hard for people to understand.
so.
let us begin.
...
point the first: stealing is still wrong.
here is the thing:
if i stand in public glassy-eyed while carrying $1 mill in cash for some damn reason (why the fuck is this the classic clapback), it is still not my fault if i get robbed. it is the robber's fault.
here is the thing about ethics:
the goodness of an action is not based upon how easy or hard it is.
it is easier to rob a disabled child than it is to rob a trained and armed adult. this does not make it ethical to rob the child. this does not make it the child's fault for being robbed.
it may be more tempting to rob $1 mill if the security doesn't look tight. maybe you won't get caught because there are no security cameras.
still the robber's fault if they decide to rob.
so there's your fundamental flaw: it's still not the victim's fault if they get robbed even if they lack security.
...
point the second: consider other crimes.
if we've decided that all crimes are equal -- that we can make conclusions about every other crime based on an analysis of stealing money -- then we're gonna have to cross reference with other crimes.
and, well.
i do not walk around wearing a bulletproof vest.
this does not give you license to shoot me.
i do not carry a gun or a knife.
this does not give you license to shoot me or stab me.
i do not have a security team.
this does not give you license to kill me.
a lack of self-defense does not negate victimhood.
...
point the third: temptation is not an invitation.
i have a functioning heart.
this is not an invitation to abduct me so you can steal my heart to transplant it in someone else or dissect it for study or eat it because you're a cannibal.
doesn't fucking matter how attractive something is or how well-suited you think it'd be to your own ends.
you don't get to be an asshole just because you wanted to.
...
point the fourth: clothing is not a defense.
so let's say those arguments weren't enough. fine. for the sake of argument, i will pretend (for like, five seconds) that stealing is fine, as long as the victim was undefended, and that stealing is the same as rape.
well, then: clothing is not a defense against rape in the first place.
i hate to break it to you, but even IF rapists were deterred by different fashion choices, well, everyone has different tastes.
even when we're talking about discourse over how much exposed skin is acceptable, people will say both "it's a woman's responsibility to be modest" and "maybe men are just staring at you bc that much skin showing is ugly". so... if that kind of bare skin is unattractive to some men, then wouldn't that be a rape deterrent against those men?
i think a lot about my own body: about the fact that i am disabled and generally fucked up. i'd argue that's rather unattractive and un-sexy of me. but the blood and scars that make me (at least conventionally) ugly might be a turn-on for some. the unattractive disabilities might make me an easier target. so no, "ugliness" is not a defense.
(also, subpoint: what if wearing clothes shows that i own clothes and that motivates someone to rob me? guess there's really no winning here.)
...
point the fifth: attention-seeking is not always sex-seeking
"but women wear those outfits to get attention"
have you considered that even if they did, creepy sexual attention is NOT the kind of attention they were seeking?
like. maybe i wear short-sleeves to the hospital to provide easier access to my arms for shots/venipuncture when i am demonstrating healthcare-seeking behavior. yes, i'm dressed in a way to help seek attention for medical purposes. no, that is not an invitation to ogle or rape me.
rape is fundamentally non-consensual. so no, they were not asking for it.
we do not "objectify ourselves" by wearing revealing clothing. you (general "you") objectify us by deciding to think of us as objects.
...
point the sixth: people are not objects.
and here is the kicker, and the argument that should have always been enough:
people are not objects.
it does not matter how big their breasts are. it does not matter whether you can see their thighs. it does not matter how heavy their makeup is.
people are not objects.
even IF stealing was ok as long as the goods were out in the open; even IF stealing was ok as long as the goods looked tempting; even IF stealing was ok as long as it was easy --
people are not objects.
...
TL;DR -- stealing objects is illegal, no matter how easy or tempting.
and even if it wasn't? PEOPLE ARE NOT OBJECTS.
#unedited#i am just pissed#feminism#victim blaming#cw rape culture#ethics#?#idk how to tag this#like this is mostly just me RANTING bc UGHHH#but i don't want to leave any triggers (or just generally blocked tags ppl don't want to see) untagged#idk#definitely tell me if there is a missing cw#anyways goodbYE#tw rape#tw sa#OK ACC LEAVING NOW
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Hi! I'd like to try shrooms for the first time. Any advice? Anything I should watch out for?
A quick online search can give you most answers you need tbh, and it's probably much more reliable than asking a stranger;; But since your ask is already here...
First of all, preparation is key. I suggest not taking anything if you're in a bad mindset to begin with, since you're much more likely to experience a bad trip. It's completely fine to be a bit nervous before your first trip, but if you're very anxious or depressed, perhaps it's not a good idea. What you can do, a few days before your trip, is watch fun and aesthetic videos, play relaxing games like Animal Crossing maybe, think about what you'd like to experience during your trip! Oh - DEFINITELY look into whether the shrooms are compatible with your medication first, if you're taking any. Sertraline, for example, changes how they affect you!
Then, make sure the place you want to trip out at is a safe and comfortable one. You can be in your home, someone else's home, maybe you even dare to do it outside... perhaps it'd be best to pick a location where you can be loud, act weird, and you're not at risk to get run over (or arrested). Stay away from unlocked doors and windows. Set an emergency number on your phone. Personally, I think the first trip is always best inside your own home, or a trusted friend's home. A trip sitter is a smart idea, but not necessary, unless you tend to get anxious or fear you could hurt or lose control over yourself. Music is your friend. Your GREATEST friend, in fact. Pick out some songs that are BOUND to give you a good feeling, such as Walking on Sunshine, for example. It's hard to get a bad trip with that one. Maybe you can pick out a movie to watch... perhaps not a horror movie though, lmao. Also. Be sure to get snacks for after the trip, because I promise you, it's gonna taste like heaven.
Third, think about how much you want to consume, and how. Depending on which kind you're getting, your weight, when you last ate etc., I suggest a different dose. It depends on whether you want a mild trip where you still know where you are and what's happening, or an intense loss-of-control kinda trip. That's your choice and you'll have to do research on that a bit. Your trip will be more intense if you've at least not eaten for 4-6 hours beforehand. The smaller the pieces you consume are, the smoother the trip, and the less nausea you'll experience. Yes, nausea WILL be a thing, and if you're emetophobic, I'm so sorry. I heard that eating them with some natural yogurt can help with nausea, or brewing a tea with them. You can also wash them down with a drink, or have them in small spoonfuls and pinch your nose. As long as they're in small pieces and you don't have too much sugar or food with them, it should be fine!
Fourth... let whatever happens, happen. Every trip teaches you something about yourself in a way, whether it's pleasant or not. And if you get scared, try to keep in mind that what you're feeling is temporary, and it will pass in a few hours. I don't think anyone has actually died from a normal dosage of shrooms before. There are also trip stoppers you can buy... and some medication like Trittico for example also works like that.
It's completely normal to feel like shit. It's normal to pee a lot, it's normal to throw up, it's normal to feel dizzy, it's normal to feel like shit even for a few days after. It's completely normal to feel dissociated and not like yourself. It will pass again.
What else... oh yeah, if you're a creative person, feel free to try and paint or write while you're tripping out! It may not come out the way you want, but it's amusing and fascinating to look back at it when you're sober again!
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Another thing I wrote a while ago that I'm still kinda proud of. 3.3k words of Viktor weird character development or something.
Trying to come to terms with all these different characters lol. For some reason it's way harder for me to reconcile Viktor Arcane and Viktor League of Legends and then my own strange version of Viktor than it is for me with Jayce. I'd make an OC but I feel like it'd still be too close to actual Viktor lmao
-------
The forge was as quiet as it always was now, windows dark, smokestacks empty as the surrounding streets.
Jayce had long since changed the lock on the front door. Sometimes Viktor wondered if Jayce had purposefully chosen a shitty lock.
The warmth had long since left the place, the roar of fire replaced by stagnant air. Viktor traipsed through the halls, cane tapping quietly against dusty cement. The sound echoed off the dark walls, a mockery of a hammer against metal that had once led Viktor to its heart. And he reached the heart to see much of the same stagnation, shafts of sunlight illuminating unburnt coal and long-untouched tools, waiting to rust where they sat against tool racks and workbenches.
But someone else had been here since the last time Viktor had come to sulk.
The most obvious change was that of a rocking chair. A thinner layer of dust puffed from under Viktor’s footsteps as he quietly walked up to inspect the sturdy wooden thing. It was a normal rocking chair, varnish worn due to some use, a clear indent where someone or maybe many someones had sat in the chair over the years. On the other side of the wheelchair was a tiny little bowl, stagnant water within, calcium indicating where it had been filled to when it was left here.
There was no way Jayce had brought this here. Viktor was sure of that. So someone else had noticed the House Talis forge hadn’t been in use for years.
He was in luck; whoever it was wasn’t even trying to be sneaky. What sounded like slippers shuffled against the hard floor, shakily calling out, “here, kitty!” He turned and watched as an old lady ambled into the forge, eyes widening slightly in surprise at the sight of Viktor standing there, waiting.
“Oh, my. It appears someone else has found my hidey spot,” she pleasantly said, halting on tremulous limbs to smile gently at him.
Viktor knew she’d be reacting differently if he’d worn his usual metal suit when he’d gone out today. Since he’d severed his more physical connection with the Hexcore, though, he’d found himself going out less and less with his metal suit and more as just a regular person. After all, almost nobody knew Viktor; at that point, only Jayce and Heimerdinger would recognize his face. He hadn’t even brought his third arm with him. To her, he probably just looked like a young man with too many prosthetics, wearing too many layers of clothes.
She wouldn’t even recognize his voice thanks to the voice modulator he usually used, so he nodded in greeting and responded, “I have been coming here for the past several years.”
“Oh? I never noticed.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “You are not with House Talis.”
“Neither are you.” Ms. Talis was a very old woman at this point, but this woman was too pale, and she didn’t have artificial fingers.
“Nope!” she replied with a little giggle, clapping her hands. “I suppose that makes us both trespassers. Would you mind if I sat? I’m afraid my legs aren’t as strong as they used to be.”
Viktor silently moved to the side, briefly gesturing with his cane at the cleared pathway to the rocking chair.
“There’s a little kitty that’s been living around here, feasting on the birds in the rafters. I hope we get to see her today,” the little old lady chattered as she passed Viktor on her way to the chair. He watched as she slowly settled into the rocking chair with a grunt, the chair leaning backwards, slippers hanging off of thin feet.
“How did you get in?” he quietly asked.
“Hmm. Don’t tell Talis this, but there’s a little hidden door on the side of this forge near my house that he never locks. I’m the only one who’s ever used that door, and it would be an awful shame if he locked it because of me,” the old lady admitted, mischief sparking in her eyes.
“I see,” Viktor muttered, observing this odd little lady. He wasn’t quite sure what to make of the situation.
The forge had sort of become his personal little fortress of solitude away from fortress of solitude since Jayce had essentially abandoned it. He wasn’t dressed in his metal suit because he was so sure Jayce would never visit this place again. And enforcers cared much less about things the farther from the city center they were, so he’d never worried about them either.
Of all the people to interrupt his sulking, it was another trespasser.
He considered what to do as the lady hummed, rocking back and forth slightly and digging around in her pockets. Obviously she couldn’t hurt him. She was wearing a pastel pink bathrobe on top of what appeared to be an old nightgown. Her slippers had little bows on them. She was barely even paying attention to him, face obscured briefly by a wispy mop of silver hair as she dug deeper in one of her pockets. He hadn’t expected to see another person today, let alone talk to someone else. Maybe it would be interesting.
“Ah! Finally,” she crowed, pulling her hand out of her pocket to reveal a little baggie of pet treats. Wrinkled fingers clumsily opened the bag, and she passed a treat to Viktor in a shaking, outstretched hand. “Here, dearie. I’m sure she’d like you as well.”
“Eh, I doubt it,” Viktor replied, but he found himself taking the treat.
“Oh, nonsense. You seem like a smart, kind lad!”
“You are too trusting.”
She shrugged, chuckling and setting the treats in her lap to dig through her pockets again. “I don’t have much of a choice. I’m far past my butt-kicking days,” she chortled. Her pockets were deep, and Viktor was vaguely surprised to see her pull out a small water bottle from one.
He rotated the dry treat in his fingers, crumbs falling against the palm of his hand to the floor. “And if I were to try and kill you?”
“Well, I imagine I’d die then,” she lightly said, turning to give Viktor a small little smile. “But I don’t think that’s the sort of person you are.”
“I could prove you wrong.”
“You very well could. But can you wait until after I see the kitty? I’d like to feed it at least one last time,” she asked, grunting a little as she bent over to fill the water bowl.
Viktor didn’t reply. Instead, he just leaned against a nearby workbench, setting his cane down on worn-down tools and crossing his prosthetic over his unaltered leg with a smooth whirr. He wondered if all the old common people in Piltover were like this lady. The ones in Zaun, people who got lucky enough to get old, were often either desperate beggars dying on the side of the street or holed up permanently in whatever hovel they had managed to buy themselves, desperately doing anything to stay alive. Of course, in all of Piltover, it was just this old lady making herself at home in Jayce's abandoned forge, so he supposed he already had his answer.
It had been a long time since he’d thought about another person as a person, other than Jayce.
The old lady sighed as she set the now half-empty water bottle down next to the bowl and leaned back in her rocking chair, watching dust twirl in the sunlight. “Well, we have some time before the kitty will come near us. Tell me, how did you get in if it wasn’t through the side door?”
“The front door.”
She side-eyed him. “So you know Jayce Talis?”
Viktor couldn’t help a wry snort. “I do. But I broke in.”
“Oh my, I’m sure he’d give you a key if you asked.”
“I think we’re far past that point.”
“He’s also a smart, kind fellow. I’m sure you two would get along swimmingly!”
At that, Viktor couldn’t help but to bark out a laugh. “In another life, perhaps.”
The old lady sighed, looking back at the high ceiling of the forge before closing her eyes. “Yes, he is rather older than you, I suppose. How cruel time can be.” She sank further into the rocking chair, arms resting comfortably on the armrests and a content smile on her thin lips. “What is your name, dearie?”
Viktor hesitated, thinking about it briefly before deciding it didn’t matter. “Viktor,” he said shortly. “And yours?”
“Anna! Though I’ve gone by Mrs. Merriweather, and then Ms. Merriweather, and Annabelle. But you can call me Anna.” She nodded to herself. “It’s wonderful to meet you, Viktor.”
He didn’t respond. The treat was starting to disintegrate in his twiddling fingers, so he set it on the workbench and crossed his arms.
“So, why are you here?” Anna eventually continued, shifting to hold her hands in her lap.
“Why not.”
Anna shrugged, glancing at him. “Well, you seem like a strapping young lad. You could be out clubbing. Or perhaps studying, for the Academy, to create some grand thing. Or eating. Unfortunately I don’t have a snack for you, but dearie, you seem awful thin.”
“I always have been.”
She squinted teasingly at him. “Yes, you Zaunites so often are.”
He simply nodded.
“Well, when you go home today, the first thing you can do is have a snack!”
Despite knowing he’d likely forget to eat again, Viktor found himself humming in agreement. Nobody had reminded him to eat in a long time. He felt a crooked little smile rise on his face, and couldn’t be bothered to hide it.
“Oh, you clever boy. You avoided my question! Why are you here of all places?” the old lady asked again, turning to more fully face him.
Viktor found himself not having the energy to lie to her. “Eh, my… home, it isn’t the most comfortable place.”
“So you come here for comfort?” There was so much surprise in her voice. “You don’t have someone at home or somewhere a little less abandoned for that?”
He didn’t bother to tell her this place used to be the most comfortable of them all, over two decades ago. “And why are you here, Anna Merriweather?” he asked instead.
She chuckled a little under her breath. “Well. Personally, my home is lonely. Now that this forge is cold, quiet, just as lonely… I thought I’d keep it company, at first. I found the kitty since then,” the old lady explained, voice warbling. She coughed once, clearing her throat as she clutched her chest briefly, then settled in the chair once again. “Now I come here to keep the place company and to feed the kitty.”
“You don’t find comfort in this place?”
“Well, I do. But I didn’t think such a young person like yourself would.” She idly gestured with one hand. “I guess you look younger than you are?”
“Probably,” Viktor offhandedly replied, fidgeting with the glove over his artificial hand. He often forgot, under the metal he encased himself in, he still looked like he was in his thirties. The reality was he was pushing rapidly towards his fifties; may already be past it, he didn’t know. It didn’t really matter anymore.
Anna wheezed a little bit, both hands covering her chest now.
“Should I be doing something?” Viktor asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Ahh, no. My heart’s just acting up again,” she sighed, lightly patting her left chest.
Viktor frowned, thoughts racing briefly. “Would you like a replacement?”
“My goodness, what?”
“For your heart. It’s killing you, no?”
Anna laughed, hearty despite her pain. “Well, yes, it is. But I don’t think my body could take any heavy procedure like that.”
“What if your body could? Would you then?” Viktor had not operated on many Pilties. Most of the ones he had were ones on the brink of death, and the rest were ones that came to him on Emberflit Alley, begging him for more time. He was more than happy to give to those who asked, though careful not to give priority or take bribes. He had never offered his services to a Piltie like this, though.
Anna gave him a measured look, lips pursed. “No. I wouldn’t.”
“But why? If you could live longer, why wouldn’t you take it?”
“I’ve lived enough.”
Viktor rolled his eyes. “That is quite a lot coming from a person I’ve never heard of before. You live alone. When you die, no one will remember you. Doesn’t that terrify you, Anna Merriweather?”
“It used to,” she softly admitted, gaze turning to her knees and twiddling her thumbs over the cat treats.
“Then why doesn’t it still?”
She sighed heavily through her nose, hands stilling over her lap as she thought about it. “Well, dearie. Is it so bad to not be remembered?”
“Yes. It is the worst thing, to pass with no recognition, no mark on the world. I can’t imagine a worse fate. Without that, what would be the point of living?” Viktor snapped. He was gripping the edge of the workbench he was leaning on too tightly; his metal hand had left dents in the solid surface. He let go and shook out the hand with a scowl.
Anna gave a short laugh. “Point of living? What a silly thing to think.”
Viktor scoffed.
“No offense, dearie. I didn’t mean to laugh at you.” She had a small smile on her face, content once again. “It is just like smart people, like you, to think like that. To believe that there must be a greater purpose to living, a point to it all, a reason to keep living. Viktor, you don’t need a reason. You just live.”
“I disagree.”
“I understand. But that is why.” Anna shifted in her seat before continuing softly, “Most of our lives are forgotten by ourselves already. No person can live on in memory forever. While you are alive, day by day by day… is it not better to simply live than to just hope for and obsess over great moments in your life that may never even come, and are short-lived when they do?”
“That sounds like a life wasted.”
Anna sighed. “Perhaps it is. But at least I lived it.”
Viktor found himself thinking over the little old lady’s words, the conversation locking itself in his brain before he could stop it. He silently watched, twisted little frown still on his face, as Anna left a couple cat treats next to the water dish before grabbing the half-empty water bottle and moving to stand up.
“The cat hasn’t come yet,” Viktor said.
“Truth be told, dearie, I’ve never seen her. But the food is always gone whenever I come back, and sometimes my chair is warm before I visit despite the chill of this abandoned forge. Perhaps next time,” Anna quietly replied, holding onto the arm of the rocking chair precariously. Viktor quickly picked up his cane, leaving the cat treat on the table, and moved to help her with his free arm.
“It’s far past time for my afternoon nap, goodness me,” Anna exclaimed before gratefully taking Viktor’s assistance. “Would you mind helping me get home?”
“It is not the best idea to show a stranger how to get to your house.”
“And if you were going to hurt me, you would’ve already done it, you silly boy.” She playfully slapped his gloved metal hand before looping her arm in his, leaning into him. “Come now, it’s this way.”
Viktor allowed himself to be led out of the cold heart of the forge and towards a small side door, far down the narrow, twisting hallways of the place. Anna winked at him when she opened the door, shuffled through, and then closed it behind them with a gentle puff of air. He gave a small bowed smile. It would be their secret.
And despite that knowledge, despite visiting the abandoned forge much more often than he had before he’d run into Anna, he still always broke in through the front door. A better way to keep the secret, anyway. He started bringing a few cat treats, hidden in a pocket. Then he started bringing little canteens of water, of his own drinking water, to refill the bowl. He had to, after all.
Anna never visited again.
The rocking chair had also started to collect dust. Viktor took some time every time he visited to brush any accumulated dust off, though he never sat in the chair himself. He started making it a habit to dust off the space. A broom took residence next to the still coals, cleaner and rags on the anvil. He took care to refill the water bowl, and to leave some treats sitting on the floor next to it. Like Anna said, they’d be gone by the next time Viktor visited. It could’ve been birds. Maybe it was a cat.
It wouldn’t be for months that he finally saw the cat. He entered the forge, and immediately noticed golden eyes staring at him from the chair. He blinked, and a black outline formed around those wary eyes, curled up on the rocking chair.
“Hello,” Viktor muttered.
The cat kept staring.
Viktor slowly approached, making sure his cane tapped on the ground as lightly as possible before he put his weight on it.
The cat kept staring.
Eventually, he got close enough to where he could touch the cat if he reached out towards it. The cat stared unblinking at him, pupils contracted, tail twitching lightly where it was curled on the rocking chair. Viktor slowly pulled the cat treats out of his pocket, and used his unaltered hand to hold one out near the cat’s face.
The cat stared at the treat, nose twitching. Then it blinked, leaned forward, and Viktor felt the scratchy texture of its tongue and the nibble of its teeth as it took the treat. Before he could move his hand back, the cat bopped the side of its face against his fingers and meowed loudly.
He lightly scratched the side of the cat’s face, under its ear and chin, the side of its neck. It had short fur.
“You’re late. You missed her,” he quietly said.
The cat took its face away from his hand to curl up in the rocking chair again.
He knelt down next to the water bowl, unscrewing the cap of the canteen. “I never did understand the point of pets. Heimerdinger would have his poro, and he’d be sad when it inevitably died and he’d have to get a new one, which would also die, over and over. Despite being sad, he never bothered to artificially extend their lives like Singed; he always insisted on getting new ones instead.” He poured water into the bowl. “Someday, you will die as well, you nameless creature.”
The cat stared with its golden gaze at him from its curled position on the rocking chair.
“I still don’t understand, and I don't have resources to waste on a cat,” he murmured, setting the canteen down to lightly brush his unaltered fingers through the fur of the cat’s back. A tingle went up his arm as the cat purred, something about the feeling of it settling into his mind similarly to how the Hexcore communicated, but it was soothing instead. “But I will keep visiting. How does that sound?”
The cat kept purring, blinking slowly at him.
“That was stupid. You are a cat. You can’t hope to understand me.” Viktor sighed, now scratching behind its ears. The motor in the cat grew louder. Viktor couldn’t help but enjoy how the moment felt, and allowed himself to sink into it. “But… just in case you can. I will keep visiting.”
#relearning to like the things i create. this is helping me ok lmao i know i wrote this shit already and reposting is cringe but.#viktor#viktor arcane#league of legends#arcane netflix#fanfiction#writing#my writing#writeblr#minor OC#how do you tag. it's 7:32AM#who gives a shit. no one read this
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white wolf: “the show must go on”
first part — second part
third part — fourth part (soon)
© gif credits to the author, i found it on google. if you're the author lemme know your @.
bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.
Sam helps Bucky to ask you out for a date and it’s a disaster, but he gets it.
word count: 1'9k.
warnings/tags: none. bucky being so innocent gives me life. + he being so damn cute as always.
author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.
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“Have plans with your girl tonight?”
Bucky clicked his tongue, putting down the weight to the holder, not turning to Sam still doing squats and an awkward noise out of breath. His partner couldn't help but raise an eyebrow and giggle while shaking his head, fast enough to steal the soldier's clean towel before he reached it.
“She's not my girl”.
“Not yet, you mean, uh?” He joked then, using the clothing like a whip to hit the metal arm. “But, you have plans or not?”
“Yeah, we have plans”. Bucky admitted eventually, glancing at Sam also stealing his bottle of water. “She invited me to watch a movie”.
It was the innocent and unworried tone of voice from him that made Sam choke, cough, and laugh at once.
“What?”
“Oh, man… Can't believe you're sinful enough to do what we do but too innocent to not see what that means”.
“It means we're gonna watch a movie”.
Bucky was confused at the laughter, trying to understand what he was referring to as he rested his back against the wall and crossed both arms over his chest. Expecting anything else from his wise friend.
“This is the twenty-first century, you ancient. We don't watch movies”.
“What d— What do you mean? You have Netflix, HBO, Prime Video… What's the point?”
Sam was deadpanned, staring in silence at the soldier, not believing what his ears were hearing. “We, guys, don't watch movies with girls, even less when they are the ones inviting us”.
Bucky squinted at him, tilting his head like a lost poppy would do, not being able to read between lines. His partner gasped exasperated, running a hand up and down his face.
“You know, man? Sometimes I feel alone, not having anyone to laugh with about that forties' manners of yours. Should I call Sarah, maybe?”
“Cut the show”. He hissed standing up and passing him away.
“Oh, no, no, no… the show has just started, man, and I have my popcorn ready”.
Bucky had been beating around the bush the whole day, trying to let it out of his mind. Of course, it was something that would happen sooner or later, and —more than of course— he wanted it to happen. The mere fact of thinking about you and him, flesh against flesh, hearing you moaning his name and making you feel good caused him goosebumps and an awkward sensation beneath his black jeans. Suddenly, swallowing saliva turned impossible, biting his lower lip while ringing the intercom of your apartment. Your response didn't last more than a couple of seconds, opening the door downstairs and waiting for him at the entrance of your apartment.
The butterflies fluttered within your bellies when Bucky stepped out of the lift, showing you that charming smile that could make you kill anyone who dared to erase it from his face.
“Trying to get me drunk?” You joked as he raised the bottle of red wine in his left hand.
“Maybe?”
“Missed you today”. You whispered at the soft kiss on your lips and his arm getting wrapped around your lower waist.
“So did I”. He sighed, sounding a little tired, caressing your nose with his.
Yesterday he talked to you about a routine medical check-up the government used to do every six months until he earned his pardon. Four hours of intense exercise to make sure the supersoldier serum was still doing its effect, as he started to feel somewhat tired since he stayed in Wakanda. For Bucky, it was really easy to open up himself with you and talk about his past and some of the things he did. And he didn't complain when you helped him to take off his leather jacket, watching him rubbing his left shoulder.
“I, uh… also was this morning with Sam. Training”. He told you, following you to your kitchen to find a couple of glasses. Turning at him, you couldn't help but raise an incredulous eyebrow. “Don't look at me like that… I know to perfection what you're thinking”.
“You're a telepath now?”
“God, no. I have enough with the voices inside my head, to hear someone's else”. He chuckled resting against the fridge. “But you're very expressive and I was trained to read body language”.
“So, what am' thinking?” You asked driven by curiosity, entertained on opening the bottle of wine.
“Look at this guy… He looks hotter than a barbecue”.
You broke into a loud laugh, shaking your head as you grabbed the drink and the glasses. “Not even close, Sergeant”.
“Liar”. He blurted into your face, passing him away to the living room where the Thai takeaway was waiting for the two of you.
“I'm not lying! You're a lousy body reader”.
“So… you can do it better, uh?”
“Didn't say so, but… yeah”. You replied, placing the wine and the glasses on the coffee table next to the big green sofa.
“Okay, go ahead. What am 'thinking, genius?”
Standing in front of him, some inches away, you squinted at his eyes in advance of touring his posture from top to bottom with your orbs.
“Look at that girl… she's hotter than a volcano”.
“Not even closer, soldier”. Bucky repeated your words, kissing his teeth and causing you to laugh again.
“Liar”.
The night went on, enjoying your dinner and watching the first part of Scary Movie. Since Bucky told you that he loved the horror genre, you thought that it'd be a good start. As you finished the Thai dishes, you two cuddled on your sofa, and it felt nice to be embraced by his muscly arms and had your head rested on his shoulder. He had never been that happier before, imagining for a moment —staring at you by the corner of his eyes— that he wasn't a retired lethal assassin controlled by a bunch of psychos, just a guy watching a movie with his girl.
For some reason that increased his pulse, having to clear his throat as the thought dried it. You couldn't let it go, wrinkling your nose with curiosity, raising your face slightly at Bucky trying to focus on the movie, and pretending everything was going okay.
“What?” He murmured about to laugh nervously, putting his head back a couple of inches to look better at you.
“Seems like you're gonna have a heart attack, what's the matter?”
The soldier breathed heavily through his nostril, expelling all the air in a sight through his parted lips. A lower giggle escaped them as your eyes widened a little more interested in his response to your question.
“Sam… Sam said something this morning”.
There it was. Your grimace turned skeptical, sitting up to borrow the control remote and pause the movie. Turning to face him and placing an arm on the headrest, you puckered your lips in a funny gesture watching him click his tongue.
“Things are different nowadays and… y'know, we used to watch movies”.
“And that's what we're doing”.
“Yeah, but… it's like… now there are some kinds of non-speak social rules”.
You knew exactly what he was referring to and seeing him somewhat troubled and tense just made your heart melt. It wasn't that he was scared, but it almost felt like.
“Is it your first time since the forties?” You dared to ask, clearly with no intentions of making fun of him.
“I've never really… y'know, I was in my twenties when I left Brooklyn. I me— mean, 'm not stupid, okay? I've done things but not… sex like… to the whole point”. Bucky didn't have his eyes on you when he made that confession, rubbing the bridge of his nose by inertia as his nervousness increased. “And now everything… is pretty different”.
“It doesn't have to”. You just replied, stretching a hand to his right one to intertwine your fingers. “Listen, Buck… We don't have to, okay? We don't have to do anything if you're not ready. We can watch the movie and then… you can go, or you can stay to sleep with me”.
“I'd like that”.
“Leave?”
“Yeah, totally, if you excuse me, ma'am… I gotta leave” He clearly joked, about to stand up until you pushed him down to the sofa bursting in laughter. “Nah, I, uh… I mean, I'd like to sleep with you tonight”.
“I'd like too, and to wake up tomorrow morning with you”.
“Yeah, would be very awkward if you go to sleep with me and wake up with another guy in your bed”.
Bucky smirked at you, biting his upper lip before leaning to press both on yours. He couldn't believe you were being so comprehensive with him, not making any other uncomfortable questions, nor kicking his ass out of your house. At that moment, he realized he was madly in love with you, bringing you closer to himself so he could embrace you tenderly between his arms. And you let him, not wanting anything else than to be with him.
At the moment the movie finished, you both stretched your hands to the ceiling with a yawn opening your mouths. You palmed his thigh to beckoning at him, urging the soldier to follow you as you rubbed your eyes using your knuckles, a little sleepy. Turning off the lights on your way to your room, you changed your clothes for a baggy Iron Maiden's t-shirt, as he stripped himself leaving his clothes on the chair in front of your bed, only wearing a pair of black boxers at the end.
You were about to ask him which side he preferred when the words died on your tongue, glancing at him with his flesh hand over his dark grey shoulder. It was the first time you saw the vibranium arm in all its glory and Bucky gave you the impression of being embarrassed. He'd never stop surprising you with plenty of emotions for things that for you didn't have any importance actually —like the fact of not having two real arms.
“Come here”. You murmured, kneeling on the mattress and palming the other lateral, observing every one of his actions till lying next to him, in the middle of the gloom of your room.
Covering both of you with the sheets and turning on your sides to face each other, Bucky took the initiative of wrapping you close to his chest, as he placed his head on your pillow. He couldn't help but take a soft breath from your heavenly smell impregnated in, provoking a smile to grow on your lips. Surrounding his neck with your arms, you sunk your fingers in his short hair, gently caressing his scalp while you started to spread tender short kisses all around his face.
“This feels good”. He purred with such a pleased tone of voice, closing his eyes as he adventured his warm hand under your shirt to draw invisible patterns on your back.
“So good”. You affirmed, peppering his cheek with a bunch of noisy smooches.
Bucky squeezed you between his grip, hiding his face into the gap of your shoulder and neck, causing you goosebumps because of his exhalation against your skin. He was comfortable being that close, with no distance separating your chests and your legs intertwined in a bundle. You saw how relaxed he was when he pulled his head back to the pillow, noses touching and his eyelids closed.
“Good night, Buck”. You whispered, still feeling his caresses on your back, leaning to kiss him one last time.
“Good night, doll”.
a / n: i hope you have enjoyed the fluffiness of these three chapters because the fourth is gonna be... chaotic.
feedback is appreciated, please, leave a comment to let me know if you liked it.
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#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes imagine#sebastian stan imagine#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan x you#sebastian stan fluff
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Holy crap. Look at Kate Herron's shirt. When the Loki director pops up on Zoom, she's donning the most glorious image anyone will see since we laid eyes on Alligator Loki: A Teletubby wearing the Loki horns. Are the Teletubbies Loki variants? Sure, why not!
"I got it on Instagram," Herron says. "There's an amazing comic book artist and he designed it. He made it into a T-shirt for me because I saw it and was like, 'That's incredible. Can I get it for the press junket?'"
Herron, no big deal, just pulled off an MCU miracle. Entering a mammoth franchise with, notably, some of Sex Education's best episodes under her belt, the director deftly brought a plot involving multiverses and Richard E. Grant in a cape and superhero mumbo-jumbo to brilliant, beautiful life. Following Loki's tear-jerking, mind-bending finale, the series has been dubbed by critics and fan's alike as one of Marvel's best efforts—which is no small feat. Of course, we needed to ask Herron how she stuck the landing. Following the most epic finale you, me, or any Teletubby can remember, Herron talked to Esquire about the Miss Minutes jump scare, filming the finale's introduction of He Who Remains, and why she won't return for Season Two of Loki.
ESQ: How are you doing?
KH: I'm good. I think I feel very relieved that I don't have to sit on the secret of He Who Remains anymore, It was a very big secret to hold, but for an important reason, right? Because it's such a good character to be launching. So yeah, I feel good.
ESQ: Loking back at your old interviews, you have such a good poker face when you're avoiding spoilers, but you're also incredible at giving aggregator crumbs.
KH: I play a lot of board games, so you need to be quite good at strategy and poker faces so people can't always read your hand. So I think weirdly board games have prepared me more for working with Marvel than anything else.
ESQ: I have to start with the Miss Minutes jump scare. What went into the decision to make her a memeable, creepy apparition in that moment?
KH: I love horror, and my executive, Kevin Wright, knew that. Me and him were talking about Episode Six and I remember that he was like, "Oh, maybe you could do something creepy of Miss Minutes." And I immediately was like, "We have to do a jump scare!" Because I haven't got to do a good jump scare in anything yet and I really wanted to, because a lot of my friends are horror directors. I was like, "I can't let them down." So I was really excited to have a shot at doing a jump scare. And Miss Minutes, it was really fun testing it because we'd kind of bring different people into the edit, me and Emma McCleave, the editor, and we'd just play it for them, watch them, and check that they were jumping when we cut it.
ESQ: One thing that I think is getting missed in all the craziness is that we see a peak moment of the love story between Loki and Sylvie. Where does the finale leave the companionship that they found in each other?
KH: When I started the show, that was always in the DNA of it—that Loki was going to meet a version of himself and they were going to fall in love. And that's honestly what drew me into the story, because I directed Sex Education. I love stories about self-love and finding your identity and your people. Loki is such a broken character when we join him, and seeing him go on this amazing journey with all this growth and finding the good points of himself in seeing her—I think that was very beautiful. It's also paying respect to the fact that Sylvie's in a very different place to him. She hasn't had the Mobius therapy session. She even says, in Episode Five, "I don't know how to do this. I don't have friends." You really feel for her because she has been on the run and her whole life has been this mission.
It's almost funny because these characters are thousands of years old, but it's almost teenage the way they both talk about their feelings for each other. I think everyone can relate to that, right? In any new relationship, there's always that kind of awkwardness and like, "Oh God, am I too keen? The important thing was the hope—like when Sylvie and him kiss, I think it is genuine and it is coming from a place of these feelings they have for each other. Obviously she does push them through that door, but for me it was a goodbye and it was with heart. But it's kind of a goodbye in the sense of like, I care about you, but I'm going to do my mission because that's where I'm at.
ESQ: I would pay for you to direct the Sex Education episode where Otis falls through a portal into the multiverse, into the main MCU.
KH: He really looks like a Loki as well, which is so funny. I always thought that. I was like Asa does look like a Loki. It didn't come to pass or anything, but it would be interesting to do a Sex Ed-Marvel crossover. I wonder who all the different characters would be within the MCU, but it would be quite funny.
ESQ: You're right, he could pull off a teenage Loki.
KH: Yeah, like a teen or a very young ’20s, maybe. But it was just funny because I was like, "Oh yeah, he looks a bit like Tom." I wonder how they could do it. I'm sure they'll find a way to do a crossover anyway.
ESQ: Can you just take me back to filming with Jonathan Majors? And you capturing him in such a compelling, quirky, scary way—I'm sure your direction was such a big part of that.
KH: I was just so excited because Jonathan is an actor that everyone was so excited about. He's like a chameleon in everything he does and he's so talented. I just feel as a director so lucky to have worked on this because I feel like I've got to work with some of the best actors out there. And when you're with Jonathan, you know you're in the presence of just someone really magnificent. For me as a director, it's giving him the space to play and feel safe. Because we filmed it all in a week, but it was a lot to film in a week. So I think it was really about creating a space where he could have fun and find this character because he's going to be playing him for a long time.
ESQ: What went into the decision to introduce us to the good guy first?
KH: I remember in the script, he comes up the elevator and it was so casual. I was like, "Oh man, that's so fun." And then Jonathan, when he plays it, he's relaxed. And I the thing he used to talk about a lot was that this is a character who's been on his own for a long time. Because at the beginning, we introduced him in a space in the universe that feels like this very busy, loud place, but actually, when we see the Citadel, he's surrounded by the Timeline and he's very isolated. Even in his costume with [designer] Christine Wada, for the idea of his outfit, he's a character who's existed for multiple millennia. So it's like, OK, let's pull from lots of different places so you can't necessarily pin down which time or which place he might be from. Also the fact that his clothes look comfy. They were like pajamas because he's living at home. He loved the idea of the office [being] the only finished part of the citadel and that the rest of the citadel was like this Sunset Boulevard kind of dusty, dilapidated space. And just again showed that he probably just keeps himself to his office. All those elements definitely fed into Jonathan's performance in terms of balancing the extrovert, but also the introvert of someone that would be living by themselves and only talking to a cartoon clock.
ESQ: It really is incredible how you pull a nail-biting finale with this battle of wits and dialogue.
KH: It was really exciting because I feel like Episode Five was a lot of fun because we got to play into all the joy of the different versions of Loki, but also just the fact that it was our big usual Marvel third act, right? Like it was where our big spectacle was as they were fighting this big monster. But I love that our finale bookends, right? We began with a conversation and we ended with one.
ESQ: I also loved that there was no end-credits scene—I think it makes the ending that much more impactful. Was there ever an end credit scene on the table, or any kind of a stinger?
KH: I think no, because weirdly, we never went after the kind of mid-credit sequences. I think we always just were thinking just of the story and where we knew we wanted it to end. For example, Episode Four, originally Loki was deleted and then we went straight to him waking up. And it was only in the edit I was like, “I think it'd be really cool actually. We should move that scene to mid-credits because then we'll really feel like Loki has died." Because if I watched that moment and then it went to the credits, I'd be like, "What?!" And then when we were talking about the best way to talk about Season Two, we were like, "Okay, well, let's do that like a little mid-credits at the end because that is exciting to confirm it in that way." I'd say we found both of those in the edit just because we wanted to kind of do it right and have a fun nod to something that Marvel does so well.
ESQ: Is there anything you can tell about the future of the story you've told here—or even where you personally would like to go with the studio or otherwise going forward?
KH: Yeah, so I'm just on for Season One. So I'm so proud of the story we told. I mean, it was amazing getting to set up the TVA and take Loki on this whole new journey. And I mean, I think we've left so much groundwork for his character, and as people see in the comics, there's so much more to be delved into. And I just am excited honestly to just see where all the characters go. Like, who is B-15? What did she see in those memories and where did Ravonna go and where is Loki? I think for me, we've set up these questions and I look forward to seeing them being answered as a fan in the next season.
ESQ: Absolutely. Well, can we please work on the Asa Butterfield Loki?
KH: I will call him and I'll be like, "You want to do some crazy Marvel crossover?"
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Match up, No. 9
@starlightbydaybright hat gefragt:
Hello! Saw you were taking match-ups and I was wondering if I could request one. Only done one before for another fandom, and I was wondering who I’d align with for One Piece ^^
I'm an INFP and generally an introvert, finding it difficult to express myself when I'm around people I'm unfamiliar with or just not close to. I can be both quiet and shy; quiet when I have no interest in making good impression on that person (a stranger I'll see once and never again) and shy when I'm genuinely trying to make myself acceptable to them. But, I do trust easily, so it's not hard to get close enough with me that I'll open up about almost everything, so long as they understand have my boundaries (that'll shift depending on how close). I'm also very affectionate with people I'm close with, particularly through physical touch, since I've been pretty touch starved. If you're close friends with me, you can find me constantly looking for a hug, but I can respect boundaries since not everyone enjoys contact.
The situation would be a bit different romance wise, since I’d revert a bit back to my introverted side, but also very affection-seeking at the same time. I say affection seeking as in I’d crave time and activities spent together with them, but I’d be afraid to ask/initiate, at least during the early beginnings of the relationship. I’d be constantly seeking affirmation of their love, and since I’ve never been in a relationship before (but desperately wanted one), they’d be constantly receiving my love too ❤️
While being an introvert in reality, I find it much easier to speak with confidence online. as I actually have time to contemplate what I can say. It's when I'm either with close friends or on the internet, that I can go on passionate endless rants or show my passive aggressive side. I'm usually pacifist, but if something irks me enough, I can and will pitch in snide/sarcastic remark or two, or if it's more serious; I will write out whole sophisticated and well worded paragraph that'd sound all polite with a hidden snarky tone.
I'm pretty much a hopeless romantic, so there's lot of couple things I want to try when I find someone. Back hugs, bridal carry, tickle fights, you name it. While I do enjoy these displays of affection (comes with the happy kind of embarrassment aka. I feel embarrassed that others sees it but I’m happy because I know they’re not doing it out of maliciousness and because they truly love me), small gestures are appreciated too; a gentle squeeze of the hand, a passing smile, etc.
As for hobbies, I enjoy reading, writing, (occasionally) drawing, but most of all; probably singing. I enjoy a wide variety of songs, depending on what mood I'm in, but I particularly like songs about love. Looking for someone to sing the duet love songs with me, doesn't matter how good or bad they are at singing. They can be tone deaf for all I care, it's the thought that matters 😊
I'm very emotionally sensitive, and can both laugh and cry easily. A random stranger online wished me good day? I'll be in good mood for awhile. Watched a 'mildly' sad movie? (Extra emphasis on mildly) I better have new box of tissue on the side just in case. It'd be nice to have someone that can either comfort me or at least tolerate my emotions, so I wouldn't be irking them 😞
I don't really have a type when looking for significant other but being an INFP does make the romance thing complicated. It'd be nice to have someone that's far along on the extroverted side (just not happy go lucky and can be serious) since, despite being introverted, I like to experience new things. I'm just too afraid to try alone and prefer it if someone else recommends it first. Someone to prompt me and nudge me to do something, but won’t take it too far if I really looked uncomfortable. (I’m also a procrastinator so they gotta find out the right ratio between pushing vs. taking it too far 😅) In relationship, I'd value trust and loyalty the most, since both are important in keeping the healthy relationship. If both sides could equally trust and be trusted, then there wouldn't be place for insecurity or fear. This ties in with another part of me being an INFP; I want a relationship that lasts forever. While it's weird to decide how long lasting the love will be early in the relationship, I don't think I can fully commit myself to someone, knowing that it'll end (through the other side falling out of love with me, finding interest in someone else, etc.) (natural causes like death are fine, even though I will still be sad 🥲)
As for appearance, I’m a 5”4 female with slightly wavy black hair that reach nearly to my waist. I don’t think I’m particularly short, but then again, every anime character seems to be straight up giants XD (Man, I was born with the wrong genes) I’m overall very plain, with black hair, brown eyes, but I’ve always been told I had pretty long eyelashes and big bright eyes. Average weight for my height, and flat chested :’)
As for the preference for gender, I’m mainly attracted to guys. I had some (very few) crushes on a small selection of female anime characters, but that were very rare, like 3, compared to my (insert large number) male crushes
Thank you in advance and sorry for how long this is 😔
P.s. I feel like I need to emphasize I’m still an introvert, since the personality I described is only limited to my very small friend group
a/n:
Hey there? How are you doing? Thank you so much for requesting. First off I should be apologizing for making you wait so long. I hope you´re not mad at me but lately there is a lot happening in my life. In my private life but also in my college life. But let´s put that aside and get to your request.
I have to thank you for the detailed info about you because that helped me to choose a match up for you so much. Like I instantly could think of someone. Not only did it help me to match you up with someone but also to come up with a plot. So I came up with this little imagine/hedcanon… I really don´t know what to call my work for the imaginies so I go with work. XD Anyways I really don´t know what to do at this point. Your request and your personality gave me such a good idea for a plot that I tried my best to keep it short because I decided to turn this request and my ideas and thoughts that are flying around in my mind to an actual FANFICTION! AHHHHHHHH. I can´t stop thinking about it. The idea sounds so damn good in my head that it makes me smile like an idiot right now! Uff I can´t wait to find time writing it down. AHAHH, but I fear that I already gave aways so much with this!!!! *pouts Doesn´t matter I´ll do it anyways. AHHHHHHHHHHH Thank you so damn much for requesting!
Anyways! Back to my work now. If there is anything that bothers you or you simply hate please make sure to tell me so I can change it and give you whatever you´d like. Other than that happy reading my dear!
Match up rules can be found HERE.
Warning(s): Maybe grammatical or spelling mistakes since English is my third language and I´m still improving in every aspect (Please have mercy on that.)
!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. Please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture is not mine. Credits to: I sadly don't know. Please tell me of you know so I can give credits. Thank you in advance. !!!
· I decided to pair you up with KILLER
· Like am I the only person that thinks that he is not getting the screen time and appreciation he deserves? Because that is the damn case! ODA GIVE THIS MAN THE LOVE AND APPRECIATION HE DESERVES. And while we´re at it I wouldn´t mind if I would get a bit more of Eustass Kid too… Thank you in advance. <3
· But that’s not the point. Please dear requesting beautiful human being give this man and me, your hopelessly dreamy author a chance. Thank you, I really appreciate. <3
· aNyWaYssssS.
+
· “y/n? Are you still awake?”, asked the blond man softly. “No worries I won´t make you carry me to bed again.”, you said with a giggle. You couldn´t see his face but you knew that he was smiling. “I don´t mind that you know? I like having you close to me without having to fear to see you hid under the blanket for who knows how long.”, you rolled you eyes and hit his arms. “That only happened because that idiot captain of yours annoyed the hell out of me. That was embarrassing Killer.”, you slowly put one leg over the railing and then the next one. Making sure you don´t fall down the ship. “What happened? Didn´t you drag me out our cabin to watch the stars?”, asked the muscular man who held you close to him while making sure you didn´t fell. “I did but now I´d like to look at something different. Something even more beautiful. Something that gives me warmth and happiness. Something that keeps me alive and always makes sure I am doing fine.”, talking to the blond pirate while sitting at the railing was one of the rare moments you were close to an eye level with him. “You mean my mask?”, asked the man with a tiled head that got you to roll your eyes and hit his chest. “Great you destroyed the sweet moment. I hate you. Make a step back so I can get down. I want to go back to bed and drown in regret of dating you.”, you tried to push him away but he was obviously stronger and threw you over his shoulder. “Of course you hate me. That was also the exact same thing you were moaning a while ago. Let´s go back to bed nerd.”
· As sweet and loving your relationship was now with the pirate it also started like that. Wanna know how? Alright let me get comfortable in my bed and get started. Story TIIMMMEEEE!!!
· An island well known for their universities and scientist. An island full of top ranked doctors.
· Physics, chemistry, biology, astrology was well thaught in the schools of the island. An island well known around the world. An island ruled by a powerful devil fruit user.
· An island in which every civilian had a talent in another field. And you? You sadly had an impressive talent for languages.
· Why sadly you wonder? Well the amount of times you had to run for your dear life because some pirates could come and kidnap you and make you read the poneglyphs is immense.
· Once even the infamous Red haired Shanks came and asked you with the hope to have someone who could read them. But sadly you couldn´t. You told him that you were done with pirates coming for you or your best friends. You regretted learning all of that and hated yourself for that. Shanks and Beckman to whom your were talking to really felt bad for you and claimed the island as their territory after they had a chat with ruler and made a deal.
· That was that saved you and your friends for years and made you happy. You were thankful to the red hair pirates and always treated them with meals and drinks when they came visiting the island. You were happy for 5 years. 5 years until these stupid reckless pirates came.
· And now? Now you hated yourself all over again
· You knew that not every pirate was like the red hair pirates. Nice and respectful. They didn´t kill innocent people and destroyed civilizations only to get some gold and diamonds. But these? These were horrible. Cold and cruel.
· “Someone make this btch talk otherwise I´ll do it by cutting her into pieces only stropping when IT actually starts to answer my god damn questions!”, screamed a tall and guy with red hair.
· You were scared. Tied on a mast on their ship, you feared for your life. Screaming for help was not an option since you were already on the sea since a while now.
· The man that was yelling at you none stop was now holding a blond man with a mask at his collar and growling at him. The man might have a mask on but you somehow had the feeling that he was talking to the man with the red fur coat. “Clear the deck! NOW!!”; yelled the man before he left inside the ship. Slowly every man on deck was leaving you alone. You wanted to ask them were or why the left but you knew that they wouldn´t give you an answer. You were a prisoner. A captive. A pathetic human they took on board. With the last pirate leaving you behind, a door that was located behind the mast you were tied on closed while the need to cry grew inside of you. How long am I here by now? One hour? Two or three? Was anyone missing me back at home? Were they already looking for me? Thoughts that occupied your mind were blurring your vision. You were looking right in front of you but also not. Your eyes were wide open but your vision was back at home. Home were you belonged.
· “Hey. Hey can you hear me? Hey you alright, woman? Hello?”, a man was squatting in front of you and waving with his hands in front of your face. You were deeply lost in your thoughts that you neither heard him coming nor saw him sitting right in front of you.
· But the moment he touched you tight you screamed and got back to reality. “Please don´t touch me. Please don´t hurt me. Please I beg you. Please.”, fear was written all over your face. You saw yourself death with a huge puddle of your blood. “Alright I won´t touch you. It´s just that I´ve been sitting in front of you for 5 minutes now and the only thing you did was breath and say no. Anyways here is something to drink. You´ve been her for four hours now. Half of the time unconscious and the other one either basically mute or in a trance.”, the guy in front of you was the same one who got the mad man to leave and clear the deck. It made you wonder who he was that he had such a power but you didn´t dare to ask. “Here I hold it for you and you drink.”, the glass was put on your lips and you drank. You didn´t knew how thirsty you were until your lungs were wetted by the water. Finished drinking he put a blanket over your legs since the position your were in didn´t allow you to cover yourself properly. And the fact that you were wearing a dress wasn´t helping at all.
· “Alright. You had something to drink I got you a blanket now tell me are you able to talk to me and answer my questions?”, you nodded. “Good. Now listen to me. There is this language that is called Krisanasy. As far as I know there is a tiny amount of people who are able to speak that and you are one of these. Am I right?”, you nodded. “How well are you in it?”, you gulped and looked at the man with the mask “I know the most important basics. I remember basic grammar rules and a good amount of vocabulary but I´m not that good in it. I didn´t worked with anything that included this language since years now.”, the masked man nodded and fully sat down now. “Would you be able to get back in it if you had some books and scripts to work with?”, slowly you understood where this was supposed to lead. You knew that if you said yes they would keep you as their prisoner and make your work for them. And if they had everything they would kill you because there would be no more use for you. But if you said no now and refused to talk to him he would probably also kill you. You were in a dilemma. You didn´t wanted to die but also didn´t wanted to die after you helped them. They were criminals. Feared and hated by the government and any human around the world. You looked down on your lap and let your head fall forward so your long black hair covered your face. “Hey I asked you something. Would you be able to do that?”, his voice was deep and rough but in the same time soft and gentle. That irritated you. it make you realize that him being nice to you now was just a way to get under your skin and make you do whatever they wanted. And then they simply would kill you in the most brutal and cruel way. “Hey, woman. Are you listening?”, you felt helpless. “I don´t want to die. Please let me go. Please. I beg you. Please.”, tears were streaming down you cheeks you couldn´t hold back anymore. He came closer and lifted you face. “Listen here you are a smart woman. Stop crying for fcks sake. If I would be you I would have made these pirates work for me. Use your damn brain and stop crying. Do you really think anyone in here would kill you? Heck no! They need your help. They need your brain because all of them are basically stupid. Like damn I need you to answer all of my questions before my captain with anger issues comes and beats the sht out of me. Now answer me woman. Are you able to get back in it if we got you some scripts to work on?”, you nodded while more tears streamed down you cheeks. You felt pathetic. You felt worthless and used. Helping them would turn you into a criminal too and ruin everything you worked on. Everything the emperor did for you and the island would be wasted. “See wasn’t that hard to answer.”
· The questioning went on for a while you didn´t know for how long but you knew that a long time passed since the sun stared to set. “Alright. Now I give you two options. One, stay here. Tied up on the mast no matter what kind of weather we face. Two you swear to obey me no matter what kind of order I give you and you will be able to sleep on a bed. You will get food and tomorrow you will start working on the scripts we give you. You choose.”, with your head hung lowly you said number two and instantly got released from the chains and handcuffs. He helped you stand up and covered you in the blanket before he led you into his cabin. “Wait here. Sit there and don´t do anything stupid as long as I´m not here. If you do anything stupid I won´t be able to help you. Got it?”, he didn´t even wait until you answered or gave any reaction he simply left and closed the door after him. So you waited while sitting with a lowly hung head. Minutes passed and he came back. “Your clothes are dirty. The bathroom is empty so you can take a bath or shower. Anything you want but I´ll be in the room with you. Because of one I have to make sure no one is coming in and secondly to watch over you and make sure you don´t do anything stupid. Got it. Fine. Take this towel and these clothes. We don´t have any female crewmates so you have to be wearing with my clothes until we dock on another island and you get to buy clothes.”
· The man with the mask took care of you for the rest of the day. He took you to shower and gave you fresh clothes. You had dinner with him alone in the kitchen when no one was around and got back to sleep. And no matter what you did he made sure to keep a respectful distance towards you. Whenever he had to come closer or touch you to take care of your wounds he would warn you. The day kept going like that. Nothing else was said about the following days and the thing they wanted you for. Only necessary things were said that were needed at the moment. And you only gave short replays or only answered with a head movement.
· Slowly the day passed by and the night took over with the moon putting the world alight. You were back in his cabin with him sitting on an armchair and you lying in bed sleeping with one hand tied up on the bed.
#one piece#one piece imagine#one piece x y/n#one piece x reader#one piece x you#one piece x oc#one piece matchup#one piece kid pirates#one piece eustass kid#one piece killer#kid pirates#killer one piece#anime matchup#match up event#eustass kid#eustass captain kid#match ups#match up requests#killer x reader#killer#one piece headcanons#one piece scenario#one piece oneshot#one piece fanart#one piece anime
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Self Indulgent Shigaraki Nonsense Part 2!
Tomura Shigaraki x pregnant!reader headcannons
Lmao I'm obsessed with this idea, I'm having so much fun with it. I love it, and I hope you guys like it too!
Warnings: Pregnancy and pregnancy related issues.
(I couldn't find the original artist for this, but just know that someone out there is a very talented artist lol)
After the initial reaction,
Shigaraki doesn't want to take you back home to the others. He doesn't want anyone to know.
He still wants you to get an abortion. It makes you feel, unwanted. The more he mentions it, the more it hurts you.
You knew he wouldn't be happy or excited about this, but neither were you. This just, hurt.
He stayed with you a few more nights in the hotel. He didn't want to leave your side, apart of him was afraid you'd still run. That you'd choose the baby over him. The other part, wanted desperately to protect you. To keep you safe and to him, an abortion would.
It would leave you free and untethered to him. He knew, objectivley, you shouldn't be with him. And he knew that if you ever needed to, in order to keep yourself safe, he would understand. But the idea of losing you made him unreasonably upset. What felt like sadness would soon turn to rage. He just, didn't want to lose you. He thought it was selfish of him to think that way, but he couldn't help it. It tore him apart from the inside out.
The years of having you around made him emotionally dependent. You cared for him in ways no one else had. He stayed up at night wondering where you had been his entire life. You felt like a missing piece of a puzzle.
He layed with you in bed one night, unable to sleep. He watched your sleeping form, the way your chest heaved up and down with every breath. His eyes ran over your body as a few fingers pulled away the covers. He eyed your belly. He felt his stomach turn as he thought about it all.
There was already so much he didn't know. He didn't really even understand how you knew you were pregnant or what stage you were at. What would a baby like his look like? Visions of a horrible monster came to mind. No matter what, it was no good. He had to convince you to get rid of it before it was too late. Before it tore you apart.
The basis for his fears were unknown, even to him. He knew thats not how things really worked, he knew his fears seemed ridiculous to you, but still. He felt guilty. He felt a sense of dread as he thought about it. It took two after all. He felt like he had condemned you. He like he had wronged or hurt you.
"This love, loves the trouble." He remembered you saying. He thought you were being foolish, blinded by your feelings to see realisticly. How could you not see? You were doomed. If the monster inside you wouldn't kill you, then it would tie you to him for forever. It'd be born into a world he hadn't solved yet, even if it could help him, it wasn't a tool. If you ever needed to leave, go off and be safe somewhere else, you couldn't. It would always tie you to him. It made him feel sick. You would never have the freedom he wanted for you.
You stirred in your sleep, your eyes slowly coming open before you turned to look up at him. He looked down at you, warm tears falling down an emotionless face. He was so lost in thought, he didn't realize he was crying.
"Uh, Tomura? Whats wrong? You're crying." You sat up and started to wipe the tears away from his cheeks before he wrenched himself from your grasp. He sat on the side of the bed, hunched over, before he got up to use the bathroom.
You sat there in wonder as you laid back down. He was no doubt thinking about the baby again. Baby. The word seemed foreign to even think about. A baby. Lost in thought, Shigaraki came back into the room. The light from the bathroom masking his silhouette in the door frame.
"You have to get rid of it." He mumbled.
"We've been over this before, I'm fine. Nothing bad is going to happen. Women have babies all the time, I promise-"
"No...you don't understand. You can't do this to yourself." He shuffled forward to the bed.
"What?"
"Think about it this way, you'll be rendered useless to the league. You and I were dangerous enough, but now,"
"Well damn, I didn't realize I'm such a fucking burden."
"THAT'S NOT-" He bit his tongue. Yelling at you or showing his anger never solved anything, it only made things worse. "You're not a burden. You're in danger. As a villian you run so many risks but the moment you got busy with me, you made yourself vulnerable. You made me, vulnerable. Adding a third into this, makes not only us more vulnerable but them as well. If the heroes knew we were involved with one another the way we are, they'd take advantage. They'd threaten you, they'd kill you if they got the chance."
"Then we won't give them that chance." You uttered. He balled his fists and turned away, holding his head down.
"It's not that simple. You don't understand."
"I understand just fine, Tomura. You don't think I haven't thought about all the ways this could go wrong? Tomura, you're all I have. You are my family regardless of a third party, you're my best friend and I love you with everything I am."
"This isn't about me. I can't promise you anything, I can barley keep you safe now. If you choose this, I can't do anything for you. I can't promise your safety or comfort. And especially not happiness." You crawled along the bed in a hurry before reaching out to grab ahold of his wrists. He froze.
"You make me happy." You told him. When he didn't move you spoke again. "You make me happy. All I want is you, all I want is to love you and be loved by you. I'm not asking for safety or comfort, I lost those a long time ago. I'm just asking for you." He stayed silent for a while, not moving or saying a word. The only sound in the room being his heavy breathing. "Tomura?"
"I feel torn." He rasped.
"Torn between what? Your war and me? You don't have to choose."
"No. Not that." He pulled his hand away from your grasp. "You would still choose me, choose me to be a father. Knowing what you know." You pasued and thought for a moment. He watched you.
"I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't mean to put you in such a difficult position. But I know you. I know how kind you can be. I know you're whole goal is to create a better world for people, to free humanity. I know the pain you struggle with and the issues you face. But there is no other soul I'd choose over you."
"You're so foolish." He sighed, crumbling as he sat down on the bed. You wrapped an arm around his shoulders and rested your forehead against the side of his. "How could a woman so smart, be so ridiculous?" He rested a palm on your knee.
"Love does that sometimes, doesn't it?" You spoke softly.
"It does. It makes me a fool." He turned his head to press his forehead against yours in a sweet gesture.
"For the record, I think you'd make a fine parent." He scoffed at you.
"I doubt I will." Will. Will? The word echoed in your mind.
"I guess you'll just have to wait and see." You said with a smile. Tomura leaned in and gave you a soft kiss. You leaned into it and took deep breaths as you ran your hands over his chest. He rested his palm over your hand placed on his knee.
"This isn't a game yknow. We don't get second chances here." He warned, squeezes your hand.
"I know."
"Its still early isn't it? You still have time to rethink." He told you, slowly turning and pulling you in to hold you tightly.
"I guess..." you trailed off.
"Just...if anything goes wrong...if anything happens to you..."
"I'll be fine." You reassured.
"You can't know that. How am I going to keep you safe?" He muttered to himself, tucking his face into your shoulder.
"I'll be more careful, I promise. And I'll stay away from dangerous missions, and I'll stay away from heroes from now on, alright?" You told him, rubbing your hands up and down his back.
"Just....think it over...please..." He begged.
"Alright...I'll think it over..." You made no promises. With that, Shigaraki agreed to bring you home. Not saying a word to anyone about your whereabouts. Toga asked you privately about your absence, mostly to confirm that you were alright. You brushed it off, saying it was a private mission or something like that.
Toga knew more than the rest. She asked more questions, knew more details. She knew the true extent of your relationship. Being a close friend of yours, she was trusted with more information than most. Others were lucky if Shigaraki even answered questions about your relationship, declaring it was none of their buisness and to leave him alone.
You didn't tell Toga, you couldn't. It wouldn't matter if she knew or not and getting someone else mixed up in your buisness was a bad idea. Life went back to normal, you went about your buisness as usual, but soon symptoms started to become more of a hazard as the weeks passed. Certain smells like cigarette smoke and eggs would make you violently ill. Nausea and fatigue haunting you throughout the day. You'd wake up feeling sore and groggy, unable to shake the feeling. It bothered Tomura.
He'd watch you raise from the bed and shuffle off to the bathroom with a deep stare. Observing you with a dark gaze. For the most part, he kept his opinions to himself. He knew there was little he could do. His only hope was that you would see "reason". If this is how you felt now, imagine your suffering later. The more pain and frustration you experienced, the more Tomura's heart ached. He felt responsible for your pain. Unable to shake the idea that he did this to you.
"Have you given it anymore thought?" He asked you. Entirely out of the blew, and while you were trying to relax no less. You laid on the floor, pillows piled underneath your head as you browsed your phone. Your feet propped up in his lap as he played a game on the Tv. You peered out from behind your phone screen.
"I have."
"And?" He didn't change his position or attitude.
"And what?" You looked back to your screen.
"Isn't the cut off date coming up soon?"
"Sure is."
"You have to make up your mind soon." You paused and thought for a moment. You watched him play.
"I have."
"Well?"
"I still want this." You told him. He paused his game and froze.
"I don't understand..."
"Pardon?"
"I dont understand!" He shouted. His anger directed out to the Tv instead of you. He dropped the controller and let his hands hang limp as he propped his elbows on your shins. "I don't understand... Taking so many risks... because of me."
"Well, we're villians. Isn't taking risks what lifes all about?"
"I...I'm sorry..." his shoulder began to bounce. His head hanging low while he balled his fists. You sat up, realizing he had started to cry. You placed firm hands on his back to rub and comfort him. He cried, his hands coming up to cover his face and wipe away his tears. "This is all my fault..." He squeaked.
"Tomura, sweety, it's okay." You held continued to rub slow soothing circles over his back. The other on his knee in an attempt to ground him.
"I don't understand...why...why you want this...I don't get it...it makes no sense!" He sobbed. "Why, WHY!?" He clung to you, reaching out to dig his gloved fingers into your sweater in an attempt to keep you close. You held him tight, running gentle fingers through his hair. You let him cry a little longer before answering.
"You know how they say 'love makes you do crazy things?'" You started.
"That's not a reason!" He argued.
"Well, sure, but...it's true isn't it. I mean, our relationship is evidence enough, right? But besides that, when I found out, I was scared too. I'm still scared. But the more I think about it, the more I want it. It makes me smile to think about. I get butterflies and its all I can think of. It's like, I'm falling in love with you all over again." He looked up from his place tucked away in your chest. His eyes red and tired from his crying.
"But why me?" He groaned, "you could have this with anyone you wanted. Why me?"
"Because I don't want anyone else," you squeezed him tight with a smile, "I want you." You planted gentle kisses on his tear riddled cheeks. He let out a soft sigh before pulling you in to give you a proper embrace. He tucked his face in your neck and took deep breaths, as if to savor the feeling of you so close.
"I'm still sorry," he grumbled, "I got you into this mess."
"Hey, it took two, right? Besides, I don't know about you, but I had fun." You squeezed his thigh, trying to lighten the mood. He squirmed in response.
"Not funny."
"What? For sex that good, I'd let you get me pregnant all over again." You chuckled in his ear. He squirmed again, his grip on you tightening.
"Don't say things like that." He scolded half-heartedly. His voice soft, he was embarrassed. You always knew how to get under his skin. Somehow, the way you did it, Tomura found it endearing. It felt fun and lightheaded the way you teased him. When you first did it, he tried to ignore it, he found you annoying and rude. But as time past, and he found your pestering of your fellow teammates pretty funny, he grew to enjoy your witty banter.
He slowly started to run kisses along your neck. He never really understood what you saw in him. Initially, he thought you wanting to be so close with him was an attempt to gain more power. But there was no evidence to support that, you just genuinely enjoyed his company. He found that bizarre. Tomura was well aware he had a bad attitude and was generally a pain in the ass to deal with.
But you got to him. When you were gone, he missed you. When you made a joke or teased, he laughed. When you were close, he felt warm and comfortable. More comfortable with you than without you. He grew way too attached for his liking. Especially now, he cursed himself for loving you. He called himself selfish and reckless and stupid. He beat himself up for it.
Regardless, if this is what you wanted, he would make this happen for you. But as the deadline came and went, he grew more and more paranoid. If the Heroes got ahold of you, it was game over.
#shigaraki#tomura shigaraki#tomura shigaraki x reader#shigarak x reader#tomura shigaraki x pregnant reader#shigaraki x pregnant reader#dad!shigaraki#shigaraki as a dad#shigaraki with a pregnant partner
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the girl character's actions made marginally more sense knowing the Third Act Twist, but no they dont because her being into armie hammer is still WEIRD and DOESNT MAKE SENSE and made me uncomfortable. the movie got uncomfortable everytime they were on screen at the same time. BUT as soon as they were seperated, the movie became.... more tolerable.
it's kind of hilarious casting, to try and make me believe armie hammer is a giant supersoldier powerhouse next to henry cavill, who needs to keep swooping in and saving him from harm, but i almost dont have it in me to complain about casting because i enjoyed cavill so much in his role. someone else acting beside cavill wouldve made more sense, and i dont think im wrong to say it, but keep cavill where he's at. (tho i think they couldve swapped roles and it'd make just as much if not more casting sense)
some of the action sequences were definitely fun, i liked the vault door scene, the ending wasnt bad. again, unfortunately my ability to really judge it was uhhhhh Hampered and Impaired. but. i think mostly it was alright. again, i only really noticed hcav, but that might be because i'd decided i liked him at that point, instead of any true weakness of performance from other actors or any flaws behind the camera. bias will cloud your judgement that way
likeable enough film, though a little part of me wants to watch it with my mom just to see if she also gets freaked out by the quote unquote "romance" in this film, which made me viscerally uncomfortable.
definitely wouldnt have been watchable if i didnt enjoy cavill's gay little art thief so much, though
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