#it’s the way no one thinks he’s capable of love bc he’s such a despicable pos | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rinbowaman · 10 months

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Ohh... I meant that reader was sleeping and she had that nightmare so ethan comfort her

Warnings: Mostly fluff, no smut. This is a more heartwarming drabble. Enjoy :) I hope I got this down correctly bc tumblr kept freezing when I was trying to find the original ask that requested this.

You woke up slightly gasping for air.

"What the hell?......It was just a nightmare?"

You calmed yourself upon realizing that the contents of your nightmare was merely just that. Thank God.

"Would he ever though?....."

Despite all that has happened and the trilogies of Heeseung's...and Ethan's constant display of their obsessive love and affection for you, you couldn't help but wonder if Heeseung or his Ethan side would ever consider....leaving you......no longer loving you.....especially if another woman was involved. After all, they say that sometimes, nightmares and dreams were a way one's soul telling you something, and from the one you experienced, your nightmare had concluded an ending to the love that Heeseung has for you.

"Would he ever fall in love with someone else? .....Would he ever not want me anymore?.......What if everything is just a waste of time?....What if he does to me....what Samuel did?"

Racing with panic and anxiety, your mind trails off, and you felt your heart sinking. Sure, with what had happened with Samuel did hurt and it was despicable of him to do so in such a fashion, however, you had already began to develop feelings for Heeseung at the time. It was wrong.....or at least....you felt it was wrong merely because he was dating your roommate.......but as far as your feelings for him....it felt right.

Yet you had been blinded by love's mask, deceived by it thinking that Heeseung, whom at the time you knew as Ethan, had genuinely loved Vicky, considering his mannerisms and level of affection towards her. It was by no means as vigor and lively as he displays it with you. Still, during the time he was with Vicky, you had no idea what his love language was. You had no way of knowing that his moderate and subtle display of affection and his quiet demeanor was just mannerisms for 'putting up' with Vicky, eventually finding out that he had unfolded the truth of her infidelity and was merely staying with her.....to be closer to you.

But what if......what if a time comes....where he would do the same to you? Is he capable of that? You could never imagine him doing that to you......but then again......you never thought Samuel would either.

Perhaps that is why you cried and broke down that night.....because it wasn't so much that you were in love with Samuel anymore...it was the betrayal of trust and knowing that you had wasted all that time....providing for him...loving him from afar.....and thinking of him....despite your growing feelings for Heeseung.

Yet the moment that Samuel revealed the truth and had exposed his lack of love for you....for six months time, way before you had even met Vicky or Ethan, you found out of his true nature and lack of honesty that very night when he sent you that email. How empty did you feel that night? All that time....wasted....that time that you could have spent on something else....someone else.....the time...the hours...minutes....and seconds that you will never get back......all gone...dead as ash.

Your body begins to shake as you felt yourself letting loose.....sobbing silently as you laid back down in the fetal position. Cradling your head in towards your palms, you did your best to muffle your whimpers as the tears kept coming, all the while you felt Heeseung asleep next to you, his face turned away as he laid on his back, a sing hand on his chest, looking peacefully content as he is blindly unaware of the depression you just rendered yourself in....all because of a nightmare....and the hurt you once experienced before.

Whimpering....sobbing.....sniffling.....you couldn't stop. It was hard....but the feelings you have for Heeseung....and Ethan......it was incomparable to any emotional sense you've experienced in the past. This was much stronger....intense.....vibrant.......

This was true love.

And who could blame you for falling so hard? Despite his flaws...his attributes of taking things so far, so was his level of affection and his love for you. He loved you....too far....too deep...too much....and he showed it in the same sense. It was the most treasured and beautiful display of emotional value you had ever experienced and you'd never want to lose it.

Thinking about it had only made you sob harder, and soon, you found yourself moaning out in agony as you realized that there is a possibility.....that he would leave you. After all....he is only a man of flesh and blood....just like you are only a woman.....made of the same essence that of everyone else around you.

...................................

H I S P E R S P E C T I V E

You woke up to the sensation of something shaking beside you.

".......Y/N?.....is she?...."

Suddenly shifting your head towards her direction, your eyes grew wide as you heard the whimpers and soft moans of her sobs, all muffled yet she failed to keep it all hidden from you, despite her best intention and attempt.

Snapping over to your side, you've never tossed yourself over so vigorously in your life. Your eyes remained wide and your brows close in out of concern and sadness.

"Who hurt her? Why is she crying? I'll kill whoever it was that damaged her."

Hearing her cry brought out the side of you that Hell was made of....you felt the raging beast of your Ethan side coming out, he heard her too....and he yearned for nothing more than to eliminate those who were responsible in hurting his baby girl. Yet you maintained composure and suppressed him as best as you could....allowing only just a bit of him reflect through.....just so he too could partake in comforting the one and only thing that meant the entire universe to you both.

Reaching your arm around her waist, you heard the shocking gasp released from her breath as you suddenly pulled her to you, cradling her back against your chest as you submerged her into the crevice of your frame, which was broadened and much stronger, compared to hers.

Placing a kiss on her ear, you hovered over and began to peer over, leaning and trailing your nose against her cheek, letting the tip of it find the way to her mouth so you could kiss her......comfort her.......massage her to ease.

"Pretty baby......why are you crying? What's wrong? Tell me......why are you crying? Tell me and I'll fix it. I'll fix everything." you whispered against her skin, the wet moisture of tear trails smear against your cheek as you nuzzled yourself next to her.

To you, she was more than just a woman that you loved....she was taste, sight, sound, touch, and the air you breathed. She was the necessities that you required in order to live.....you needed her.

Just like the plant that feeds you its berries, and it's flower to bless your sight with a hue of it's colors, you rely on the plant in order to remain happy and healthy....to live.

In order for the plant to provide you with the fruit and flower you required, you needed to nurture it, protect it, and keep it strong in order for it to keep yourself sustained.

She was your plant...your flower....your one thing that bore the fruit of sustenance that kept you alive. Without her, you'd waste away in darkness.

Hearing her whimpers once more, you reach up and gently moved the strands away from her face, all the while you tug her waist tightly.

"Baby, whats wrong?"

She was hesitant....too hesitant. You grew more worried and despite your composed demeanor, internally you felt yourself panicking.

"I can't stand seeing her like this...I dont like it. I dont ever want to see her cry for anything or anyone......she can cry for me.....me only."

For you.....because while you know that some times, you make her cry out of sadness or because you may hurt her sometimes with your harshness, you know that the pain you inflict is nothing that isn't out of the potent love you have for her. The tears she drew for you.....was all due to your glorious love for her, and she knew that. She also knew....that majority of the time, the tears she drew for you.....was all out of the great happiness you brought her. Because when it came to her happiness, her smile, her laughter and her lack of worry....there was absolutely nothing that you wouldn't do....just to make her feel that way.

Moving aside the last bit of her hair that covered her face, you lean in and press your lips against her cheek, and remained still. Softly speaking as your lips brush against her skin, you tell her....

"You dont have to cry.....whatever it is that hurt you....that saddens you... you know I'm always going to be here to fix it. I'm always going to take care of it. I'll always be just an arm's distance away....you never have to wonder where I am. I'm always going to be right here."

Taking her hand, you remove it off her tearful face as your palm hovers over the back side of her own, feeding your fingers through and interlocking them with hers.

As your hand secures her own, you extend your index finger and continue to move aside the stranded pieces of hair that remained plastered on the trail of tears she left behind.

Finally, she speaks....stuttering out her words as she gasped for air from her continuous sobs.

"I....I.....had a nightmare."

"A nightmare? Is that what it is? Come here baby, I'll hold you so you wont get anymore nightmares. Mmkay? Lets never sleep without us touching. "

"But......"

"What is it y/n? Come here, talk to me."

".......I had a nightmare........that you didnt want me anymore......that you .......you fell in love with someone else......you just....you no longer wanted me......I was .......I woke up scared......too scared.....and sad.....I dont know what I would do.....Heeseung....I dont know what I'll do if you and Ethan.....ever stopped......wanting me....."

You felt the two toned heart you carry sink into your gut....it fell in pieces upon hearing her words.

"Stop loving her?....Us?......"

Your mouth remained parted open, your eyes stunned wide as your expression remained in pure shock.

Both your arms migrate and encompass her form merging her to you as if you were melting her into your chest.

"......I dont want you......" You calmly answered. You felt her shake the moment you issued your words, yet the tug around her waist had signified to her of your reasoning....which you lowly let out through genuine words.

"I dont......want you........why would I want something that I already have?........I need you, y/n....... "need".... "needing" is much stronger than the desire of wanting.........I don't simply 'want' because I already 'have'. But I'll always 'need' because ....needing something..... requires trial and effort....it requires love and protection at the highest value......people want things of material luxury.....they want silk, more money, gold, and silver........because they merely want it....they spend it....carelessly....giving it away......because the value of want is nowhere near as potent as need. You "want" to cease cravings...but you "need" in order to live.....so yeah..... i dont want you......I need you....I'll always need you......without you I cannot live...breathe....or think."

You tug her against you yet again, it was rather harsh, though you didn't intend for it to be, you just couldn't contain yourself as you felt a gulp travel down as you nuzzled your face against her hair, feel thing sting in your eyes as you felt saddened at the fact that she was ever fearful to begin with.....that you would no longer need the one thing that gives you life.....the meaning and purpose of it.

"Please.....never wonder.....never worry......that I'll stop.....I cant.....I wont........I'm not......I'll never be the same ever again y/n.......the moment i saw you...heard you....felt you......and experienced...you.....I can't ever go back. You.....you changed me.....maybe not entirely for the better.......but you changed me so that I could never love again.....because its only....and always going to be you........I'll....never.....be the same......I'll never be normal......I'll always be the mad man...the bad guy....because of my insanity....I'm a lunatic that's too much in love with someone that could easily break me just as she lifts me. Too much.....far too much.....to the point where i'll hurt you....just to keep you...."

Her sobs calm to a quiet end, and you felt the density of her weight relax as she allows your body to swallow her in, melting into you just as you wanted. Holding her, she gently turns her face over to nuzzle against your chin, where she places one of her sweet....beautiful kisses that you thirst for nearly every second of the day. Looking down at her with only the dim light from the moon peering in, you lean closer to return the soft and sensual kiss, right on her lips. You introduce your tongue with hers, rolling, stroking, and rubbing it along side hers, relishing the warmth softness of her mouth.

You didn't want to scare her with your words....but you had to be open......because while it was true, you'd do anything for her......but if the moment ever came where she found herself wanting to separate....to no longer want you......to need you.....you know the darkness that lies in the depths of you soul.....it would never allow her to.......through shackles and isolation.....through the loving greed that infects your veins....you'd keep her....because you need her.

#heeseung x reader #heeseung scenarios #heeseung smut #enha x reader #heeseung hard hours #heeseung hard thoughts #heeseung fanfic #enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #enha heeseung #heeseung fluff #enhypen yandere #yandere x reader #heeseung yandere #yandere heeseung

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iheartbookbran · 2 years

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*shows face in shame* I watched the first episode HotD…

In my defense, my brother came to spend the week home and he wanted to watch it, so I was just roped in.

Anyways here are my thoughts, part 1:

Starting in a positive note, watching Harrenhal in all its monstrous crumbling glory was pretty exciting. I don't even remember if GoT ever managed to show it quite like that during several episodes the way it was shown here in a single scene.

But not even one of my fave castles in asoiaf could really prevent me from getting mad at seeing Sexist Grandpa Jaehaerys lmao, though it was a good call imo to have him attend the council as opposed to what happened in the book.

He also looked so resigned like “I had no choice but to disinherit my granddaughter in the most bullshit way” But the thing is, you did Jaehaerys. I hope Alysanne kicks your balls in the afterlife.

The disrespect of using Dany's name after what the GoT ending did to her. But of course HBO knows she still commands numbers.

Ok ok ok I'm over it *proceeds to rant for 45 minutes*

So no into? How disappointing because a cool intro was one of the very few redeeming qualities of that cursed OG show.

The people behind this prequel must be really confident in themselves, or be really stupid.

Really like the use of High Valyrian in this episode and kinda already love the dragonkeepers? And of course the dragons themselves. (spoilers) It's gonna be heartbreaking to see them get killed by a horde of fanatics.

Part of me doesn't want to like or get attached to Rhaenyra bc even though I'm on her side during the whole Dance conflict, her character in the book hardly does anything for me, but Young Rhaenyra feels so much like a cool combination of Dany and Arya and it's too hard for me to resist.

Also I know how her story ends which is even worse.

Milly Alcock does such a good job of selling Rhaenyra as this conflicted young girl who's intelligent and capable and yearns for freedom, but at the same time is acutely aware of the limitations society places upon her, and is hurt by the knowledge she'll never measure up enough for her father by merit of her sex alone.

I loved her one scene with her mother Aemma, how aware Rhaenyra seemed to be of how her mother is only valued as a baby factory and not as a human being. I hope they continue to explore how Rhaenyra thinks of her mother even after her death, let's not forget she includes the Arryn sigil into her own coat of arms latter in the story.

'm not really that bothered about how they turned Alicent's character into neurodivergent and a minor. Like, if everyone's getting the sympathetic fleshed out approach I don't see why she should be any different, it would hardly be entertaining otherwise. How she is now doesn't really justify any of what she does later on.

Tbh I would be more into her character if it weren't for the fact that I've seen sides of the fandom already using her as a beacon to hate on the Targaryens for shit a lot of the other great houses also do. And it's really rich to try to paint Alicent as a victim of the Targaryens as if she doesn't (spoilers) marry a Targ and becomes queen, has several dragonrider Targ children, marries said children to each other and climbs the political ladder to place her own son on the throne regardless of the consequences.

Like of course Otto is the paramount culpable of placing his young daughter in that position, and he's despicable for it, but let's not claim Adult Alicent didn't have any agency.

It's super funny to see so many people being surprised at Matt Smith being so good in the role of an overly entitled jerk prince, as if he didn't play the exact same character in the Crown.

Mind you, Daemon is still a piece of shit, and I have no interest in viewing him as sympathetic, nor do I think that's a requirement to enjoy the character. It's gonna be so funny to see him cause problems on purpose (same with Aemond).

Like… this guy literally threw an orgy to celebrate the death of a baby and then acted all surprised when word got back to his brother and he was pissed because of it. That's hysterical.

I'm really enjoying the relationship between Ser Harrold Westerling and Rhaenyra, I think it's very similar to that of Ser Barristan and Dany in the books, would've been great if GoT had shown us some of it instead of anticlimactically killing off Barristan. God, I hate Dumb and Dumber…

#hotd #fire and blood #house of the dragon #hotd spoilers #pam watches hotd

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sukirichi · 3 years

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i have very many thoughts ... au where naoya and yn r fucking around but its very hush yn is very nerdy and religious and naoya well ... right anyways so they fuck like crazy and naoya always does it in places where they are about to get caught and it drives her crazy but then she also has a thing for geto (imagine hes not a villain lol). she’s literally in loveeee with geto bc hes so prim and proper and faithful 😔 but naoya starts going crazy over her making pushs so she knows shes his and it becomes this Huge miscommunication bc thats always the peek. right and massive hate fuck and id imagine by accident naoya kisses her (they didnt before to keep a barrier like makes no sense but whatever) and is super possessive saying “ill get you pregnant if you dont stop talking about him”. smooth brained rn share ur thoughts pls

# 🔞 public fucking, religious! reader, breeding kink, masturbation, hate fucking, implied cheating, possessive naoya

ANONNN IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO ANSWER THIS, but anyways *fans self* i need to touch some grass after this

oh gosh good girl reader....or at least you look like a good girl. you’re known for how well behaved and prim and proper you are. always keeping your head down low, voice never growing too loud and just the perfect ideal woman who also is firm on their beliefs and goes to church every sunday as you go down on your knees to worship — who would ever think that you’re actually capable of fooling around with naoya zen’in of all people?

everyone knows naoya likes corrupting people, and you’re just another one of those fools who fell for his charms.

and he likes putting you in trouble too. by trouble, he literally does not care the slightest bit about being caught. in fact, he even entertains the idea of it. pulls you aside after a prayer to fuck you in the ladies’, his large palm flat on your mouth while he fucks you greedily from behind, calling you all sorts of names that were far too sinful for such a sacred place. and if that wasn’t enough, he makes sure he stuffs you full of his cum before he pushes you out the door, urging you to keep it all in or else.

you really don’t want to find out what might happen next.

but it drives you crazy, absolutely crazy that you spend many nights thinking of sinful things with your fingers trailing past the band of your underwear.

it was wrong, filthy, immoral — a young lady like you should know better than this. but he was too charming, too vile, too good at being bad that you simply could not resist such temptation.

he makes you feel dirty.

and the worst part? you loved it.

until you met geto. geto was the best man, the ideal one that you wanted to marry. he was formal, sweet, kind, polite, and gentlemanly — he was everything naoya was not. his kindness and patience to court you, to gain the approval of your hand in marriage made you fall in love with him, and thoughts of naoya are pushed back before you realized it. and when naoya found out that you were no longer his (not that you ever were, you were but a cocksleeve to him) he was beyond infuriated.

stealing you away from your lover, he reminds you of the graveness of your sins for messing around with such a despicable man like him. and aww, you hate him?

if you did, then why were you clenching down on him so hard, begging him to go faster and fuck into you deeper when seconds ago you wrre trying to push him away, claiming that this was wrong?

he calls bullshit.

to prove his point, he tugs at your chin roughly to press a kiss at your open lips, shocking you both since he’d long made it clear kissing was too intimate, and he didn’t need intimacy after making it painfully clear he was only after your pussy and nothing else. soon, you’re coming undone around him, coating his cock with your juices with his name spilling from open-mouthed kisses.

gosh, you were so good at making him feel good that of course he would be addicted to you, until —

“naoya, stop. geto might find out.”

you feel the slightest pressure begin to tighten down your airway, fiery eyes meeting yours with such an intensity that you actually burn. and maybe you already burned in hell a long time ago, for you’ve chosen to bite on the forbidden apple that crushed any chances of redemption.

“talk about him again,” he warns in a low voice, teeth dragging down your neck, the grazing of his teeth bringing a chill down your spine. upon feeling you shiver, naoya hardens even more inside you. “and i’ll get you pregnant. that way, you really will be mine, and i don’t plan on giving you away just to anyone.”

#naoya x reader #naoya zenin x reader #naoya x reader smut #naoya zenin x reader smut #naoya zenin smut #asks with naoya's trophy wife #naoya thirsts 💦#OH GOSH HELP I WROTE THIS ON MY PHONE AGSJWKALAA #love you anon pls feed me more

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kuroos-moon · 3 years

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Captains and Strong Independent S/o’s

☁︎︎ request: Oikawa, Kuroo and either Bokuto or Ushijima (I cant choose!) reacting to a (fem or g/n) reader who does some type of martial art and they’re kinda tough/strong and (maybe they’re the team manager and they don’t take no shit) and the captains kinda crush on them for it? (I like to imagine Oikawa having a tough gf who stops Iwa from being mean to him and jokingly threatens Iwa that if he wants to hurt Tohru he has to go through her

☁︎︎ pairing: oikawa x reader, kuroo x reader, ushijima x reader

☁︎︎ warning/s: swearing, felt a bit of angst while writing for ushijima’s idk why tho it might just be my imagination :>

☁︎︎ a/n: also dont know if it’s obvious but i kinda got carried away with ushijima’s

Oikawa Tohru

• is a smug little shit every time you’re with him or in the same room at least

• like,, he could piss Iwa-chan off to death and he won’t get hurt for it? now this is what he calls power

• sincerely loves and adores you, but at first, he kinda got sad that you’re so self-sufficient, you practically don’t need him

• but he’s now long accepted that you’re just so you… and in your relationship, it’s you who does the protecting and looking out by a whole lot (ofc it doesn’t mean he loves you less)

• that’s why he gets so so soft when he gets his turn in being the person who’s leaned on

• as their manager, he loves how you get things done so effectively, even Kyotani bows down to you, as he should—he always says in his head, smiling as he looks at the feral boy getting flustered around you

• he listens to you all the time and we all know Tohru backing down is so rare

“Oy, you’re overdoing it, let’s go.”

“Head home without me, Iwa-chan,” he mutters mindlessly as he screws up another serve, a scowl on his face as he bends down to get another ball; but he freezes at an instant upon Iwaizumi’s words—no, Iwaizumi’s threat.

“Suit yourself, I’ll call y/n.”

Oikawa has never changed stance so quickly in his life, cleaning up the gym as he sends smiles to his best friend’s way every five seconds, hoping he won’t tell on him on his cute but scary girl who could easily kick him unconscious.

• he uses your name to threaten anyone who wants to cross him and they will back down immediately

• also likes to show off because he knows you treasure him so much; he likes to be babied by you especially in front of others

“y/n-chan c’mere,” he softly says, whining a bit. The rest of his team look at the both of you in astonishment as you take the captain in your arms, Tohru’s cheek on your shoulder, looking back at the bewildered look on his teammate’s faces while you sit side by side on the bench.

They could never get used to someone as tough as you having such the softest spot for Shittykawa… like how could you even stand him?

“Really tired,” he mumbles, a small smile on his lips when you run your fingers through his hair. “I know, you were great as always, let’s head home so you could rest.”

“Y/n-chan, today, Iwa-chan hit my head when you were out to get water. It really hurt,” he says, still in your embrace as he smirks at his teammates.

Their mouths fall open, Iwaizumi’s eye twitching in irritation for his shitty best friend.

“And Maki-chan…” Hanamaki grits his teeth, looking at him pleadingly in panic as his mind runs through everything he did today, wondering what he could’ve done to your beloved. “He ate my milk bread; I was really hungry.”

Yup, Maki and Iwaizumi knew there was hell to pay, gulping in unison when you pull away from your boyfriend and narrow your eyes at them.

“Iwa-chan. I thought we agreed you weren’t hitting Tohru again.”

A chill runs down his spine, Tohru simply looks at you with pride, pulling you into his lap as he wraps his arms around your waist before you get the chance to throw hands at Iwaizumi.

Kuroo Tetsuro

• loves loves LOVES your remarks, your attitude, the way you take no crap from anyone, like “ah, he’s scared shitless, that’s my girl”

• dw, you’re not a thug or anything, but men who force their feelings on you will see heaven’s gates early

• and kuroo’s so pleased about it. sure, he’d love to get the chance to act all cool and brooding and possessive in front of other suitors but what’s more fun is watching their dejected faces as you say—

• “how many times do I have to turn you down? I have my tetsuro, now back the fuck off or I’ll break your nose.”

• you had no idea he was just outside your classroom waiting for you, arms crossed and a cocky grin stretching his lips when you lock eyes with him

• “chibi-chan!” he calls off cheerily, and you bet he’ll tease you about it til death do you part

• “don’t just stand there, give your tetsuro a hug!”

• laughs about how your friendly banters with yamamoto always end up with you winning the argument

• you rub off as mean bc you won’t take any disrespect, even a little—and that’s great

• those are one of the things he loves about you

• but he’s always worried you might get hurt or hated for it, though he knows you are very much capable of beating anyone up even kuroo himself

• so he’s always holding you back, and I can’t stress this enough, but this man knows you could fend for yourself and he is so proud you’re his partner

• he just wants to make certain that no one’ll hurt you, okay kitten?

• your conversations often go like this:

“I’ll beat up whoever tries to lay a hand on me.”

“don’t say such reckless things, you’re not superman.”

“uhuh, geez, I’ll be fine, I don’t need you to walk me home.”

“well news flash, your tetsuro, needs his y/n to walk him ho—ow,” he mutters when you slap his chest.

“go home with kenma.”

“I don’t want kenma,” he scowls, already irked that this is turning into an argument.

“too bad,” you deadpan.

“ugh,” he groans, “imagine a girlfriend who actually listens to you, just imagine.”

• he is the one and only person you’ll gladly accept lectures from, bc his lectures are always reasonable and for your own good

after checking and verifying that you were completely okay, you knew he was about to go down to business.

“you got into a fight? What are you? a thug?” he crosses his arms. You were both inside the gym along with the rest of his teammates who looked like they were far too preoccupied to listen. They were all clearly listening in though, except Kenma of course.

watching your figures from a few feet away, it was obvious that he was scolding you, and Lev already had a ridiculous visualization of you hitting Kuroo. Everyone was worried you’ll fight him, or maybe even hit him, well, everyone except Kenma, of course.

The setter knew that you would never ever lay a hand on kuroo as if the 6’1 captain was fragile. He also knew that you loved and respected kuroo too much to actually get agitated just because he was scolding you, you aren’t an unreasonable person. Lastly, he knew that kuroo would be going soft on you in five minutes tops, his best friend is hopeless like that.

Kenma was right, he always is. Your back is glued to the wall behind you, Kuroo’s hand beside your head, his face extremely close to yours that you’re left flustered which is rare.

After you were rambling on about how you had to put that girl in her place, going off about how it made you so mad and he should cut you some slack, he knew just how to shut you up. And it worked. You’re speechless.

“what was that again, hm? go on, you surely had a lot to say,” he mutters, acting all tough as if he wasn’t dying to just kiss you now. when you don’t respond and stare at him and his lips instead, he already gives in. yes, just like that. “you were wrong to do that, okay?” he breathes, the worry from earlier on making its way out through his voice.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

Locking lips with you, you pull him closer to yourself, and kuroo had purposely decided to kabedon you on this wall since his broad back would be shielding the two of you from his teammates’ line of sight.

After pulling away, he pats your head, licking his lips. “I forgive you, I’m not mad anymore.” You look away in embarrassment, realizing how petty you must’ve seemed to him. He sighs before hugging you, chin atop your head.

“Make this the last time, okay? I swear you’re shortening my lifespan having me worried all the time.”

You hug him tighter as a response, kuroo letting out a breath of contentment. Regardless of how tough you are outside; you are and always will be his soft little kitten and it was his greatest honor that you allow him to take care of you like this.

Ushijima Wakatoshi

• is probably a little too used to the idea of his most treasured girlfriend being extremely capable and self-sufficient

• his teammates would always look at him like ‘why are you not stepping in,’ every time you’re in a tough spot i.e. having an argument with someone or having a too-touchy suitor

• then they’d be like “oh, that’s why,” after you flung the despicable creature out to space

• he thinks so highly of you, not only are you physically strong, you’re even tougher on the inside too

• this is kinda a given but I’ll say it anyway—he can be unintentionally insensitive (well your relationship is kinda new)

• example no 1:

you were arguing with goshiki and while he would normally like to ignore you and let you have your way; he was getting annoyed bc the argument was far too petty.

“I’m gonna surpass him!”

“and I’m telling you that you ca-

your mouth is clamped with a big hand, and it took you only a second to realize it was Wakatoshi because only he would have the nerve to lay a hand on you like this. he still doesn’t say anything, dragging you with him in an empty hallway for privacy.

finally after you stopped walking, he turns to you and looks at you expectantly. “what was that for? Did you even wash your hand,” you mutter, slightly annoyed.

“I haven’t touched the ball yet, don’t worry,” he lowly says, making you sulk because he totally missed your point. “still, you didn’t have to make me shut up by clamping your hand against my mouth.” He’s too… not gentle with you sometimes.

“you were going to say something you shouldn’t to goshiki.”

“he said something he shouldn’t have.”

he only narrows his eyes at you and you do the same, anyone from your class would’ve been scared at the sight. You were both known as the cutest yet intimidatingly scary couple.

• you were in the early stages of dating and though you understood each other well, it wasn’t really enough yet

• it’s all good though, because once you tell him that he was too uncaring of you and your feelings he does something that no other man would do:

• apologize, admit his mistake, reflect on it a lot and,,, actually change!!

• he’s much softer to you after that, and he finally realizes that you were still his precious girl and you were sensitive when it came to him

• cursed himself for being too reliant on how you never seemed sensitive or needy

• doesn’t dwell too much on regret, just treats you 100x times better

• is fascinated with your passion for martial arts but is against you overdoing training

• one time, he was torn between dragging you out of practice or just turning a blind eye to your visible exhaustion since you’re always so tough anyway, you’ll manage

• but then he remembers his promise to himself to never treat you like you aren’t the most special person to him so he excuses himself from practice and heads to your training room

you sat alone, your back to the wall. everyone else has gone home but you stayed because your muscles were too sore and you felt like you couldn’t even walk for another day. maybe it had something to do with how you’ve been training too much.

you’re startled upon seeing shoes on the floor you blankly stared at, looking up to meet eyes with Ushijima. “Wakatoshi,” you say in surprise.

he is expressionless as he bends down across you between your legs, and you had to admit this was something you weren’t used to from him. “are you okay?” he asks, his voice soft as velvet. you’re taken aback by his question, looking away in embarrassment.

Wakatoshi rarely asks you that, and most of the time it was only when you said the word ‘ow’ when you accidentally hit something. you clear your throat, bringing your hands together to play with your fingers, “I’m okay.”

it was silent for a few seconds before you hear him sigh, not only that, warm, gentle hands had found its way to yours and you look at him, bewildered. “is this okay?” he asks, looking down at both your hands and you nod. “your hands are much smaller, compared to mine at least.” he says, but you’re too flustered to even understand that.

“are other things okay too?” he asks, and like his former statement, you didn’t understand. your silence doesn’t stop him though, he decided to push his luck. tugged gently by your wrist, your back’s no longer pressed to the wall as ushijima wakatoshi pulls you in his arms for the first time in your very few months of dating.

“wakatoshi,” you mumble, your heart racing so much you’re sure he feels it against his chest. he’s so warm, welcoming, and in his loving hold felt like the rightest place to be. “you’re not feeling okay.”

you don’t respond, opting to bury your face at the crook of his neck instead. “I’m here, I know you’re tired.”

you both stay in that position for a long time, it was addicting to be cradled in his arms and he felt the same. “y/n,” he whispers, and you hum in response.

“you’re strong. very strong. you don’t need a man at all.”

your heart skips a beat, “toshi are you breaking up with me?”

you hear a soft chuckle ring in your ears, “let me finish. as I said, you’re very strong. you look like you’re always so tough. but you’re not, and so…” he trails off, so you pull away to look at him, hesitance evident in his eyes, his palm still pressed at the small of your back.

“you’re not always strong. in fact if I dare say, you are fragile, and I care about you. so please, allow me to be there for you all the time, I’ll be here, just like now.”

General Taglist [Open]: @noyasbitchh @dinablossom @haru-the-secret @strayczennies @lalisbitch @tinymidgetsstuff @animebs @astrealia @kittykitkatstrawberry @hajimesbbygrl @kellesvt @24hr7dysdizzy @arnxldss @elianetsantana @vicassa @floraraine @beanst0ck @leinnah @kageyamasgirl @deafeningart @minibobabottle @franko-pop @moonlightaangel @throughtheinterstices @micasaessakusa @dixonsbugaboo @thevillagehiddenintheinternet @ultzuko @yappychan @dipsydoo542 @devilgirlcrybabiey @dai-tsukki-desu

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #oikawa x reader #kuroo x reader #ushijima x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu!! scenarios #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! headcanons #oikawa tohru #ushijima wakatoshi #kuroo tetsuro

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yaomomvs · 3 years

Text

ten duel commandments

pairing: shoto todoroki x reader

a/n: listening to 10 duel commandments of hamilton gives me strong angst vibes so yeah. and idk is this is angst or just drama but it’s kinda inspired in the actual manga arc of this huge battle bc i’m in pain. reader’s quirk is basically earth bending like atla jajajaja. also might do a part two. idk

there are ten things you need to know.

number one.

the challenge, demand satisfaction. but not for you clearly, the temperature dropped. the alert rang in al school, another villain attack. this time it was real, this time you know there’s no thing such as flukes or surrender.

hands are shaking, barely managing to put your hero costume in the right way. the clock is ticking, you feel your classmates heavy breath. momo, mina, kota, ojiro.

him.

you make your way back to shoto. his shoulders relax at the sight of you. he holds your hands, the shiver stops. he attracts them to his chest. a kiss is stolen. you’ll make it, you are heroes. well somehow you are.

number two.

“we don’t have time to think!” kaminari snaps, he is not wrong. your professors are fighting, the plan was simple, but still the league was strong. only a fool would never admit that.

“we can’t go out there and just fight like pro heroes” momo talks back, her voice is cracked and the fear tears threaten to sneak out.

“let’s split in groups” you suggest. hope, that’s what you all need. you came to fight for a better world. for peace. “we can beat them, some of us should remain here to figure something out, while others... we’ll try to gain you guys some time”

you search for your boyfriend’s eyes. todoroki can’t stop looking at you. no, not you.

“(y/n) don’t even...”

“midoriya, you and some others are perceptive and logical, if we don’t do this we don’t have a chance”

“she’s right, and we have to do it now!” bakugou agrees, not quite liking the idea of splitting but it was the best option.

he knows they are right. but he didn’t want to let go your hand yet. you are very capable of protecting yourself, but still if something happened to you..

jirou places a hand on your shoulder and smiles to todoroki.

“we will have each other’s back” she assures your boyfriend, quite knowing how he feels. in fact no one wanted their friends and classmates to risk his life if they were not able to be there and help.

number three.

his heart doesn’t stop beating. each beat feels harder and quicker than before.

your eyes, those (y/e/c) dazzling eyes.

a hug, a passionate kiss, the clock stopping for a moment.

“please, just... stay together”

number four.

he lets your hand go, the explosions and screams, you hear them closer. the wind is cold, but blood is warm.

take a deep breath. take a huge step.

and so, you and your friends start running to the battle. there’s no way back.

but there is someone waiting for you at the end of the line.

just breathe.

have your seconds, meet face to face.

five.

his pulse increases. he searches for your hand. you are not there.

“midoriya are you sure that’s the only way?” yaoyorozu asked midoriya while quick standing up, they have no time to go through the plan all over again, but todoroki knows that she is just asking because the plan meant a huge risk for everyone.

she cared, and so did everyone.

“as the nerd said, the only thing those bastards have is time!” bakugou says while he starts running. “they know being surrounded by pros is going to be hard so they’ll try to be quick, so we’ll be faster”

“and so, that’s why we have to do it, if everything goes well, they’ll be gone in a moment” todoroki assures.

or at least he tries to trust.

because this needed to work, they currently can’t have the luxury of second chances.

and so they hurry.

number six.

he lefts a sigh of relief out when he divides you in the second line of cavalry.

blood and dirt on your face, your hands were moving as well as every inch of your body. your tired groans, your death glares to the villains. your ethereal posture.

angelic, he thinks while running to your group, he needed to explain the plan to as many people as he could.

you take a glance towards him, a sentiment of family runs through his head. a sentiment of comfort.

no, majestic. he corrects himself catching your glance.

a huge wall of ice is made between you and the horrific villain who tried to kills you, he takes care of him too, freezing his whole body.

a wall of opportunity was made.

he holds you like he’s never done before. that movement gave you a few seconds to breathe again. as well as to jirou, tsuyu and shoji. also the pros that were in charge of you.

your head on his shoulder, his heart on your palm.

a whisper, and a chance.

“i love you too”

seven!

“everyone got it?” todorki asks to the crowd. a few people reunited there.

four hero groups. a villain army. a cliff and one single opportunity.

they all nod, and so the time out is gone. momo creating cannons in the west along with heroes like gang orca and cementos. midoriya and eraser head in the north, with bunch of people two. bakugou at the south, flying with explosion with present mic and so many others behind him. and todoroki sliding with ice and you by his side. with so others at his side.

just hold a few more minutes, all you had to do is push and drop.

the crash happens, the heroes and the villains meet once again. you just have to keep pushing them back. you had to direct them to the corner of the cliff.

then you along with every other emitting quirk holder will just blast your full potential to break the cliff and let the villains fall for their destiny.

you can do it.

and you have to do it.

number eight.

confess your sins. the moment of truth, villains are despicable, ruin, and sometimes psychotic. but also, clever.

you take a step back, dabi is in front of you. you vaguely reincorporated when a huge wall of flames split you apart from todoroki.

“let’s dance, darling” he says, chaotically calm.

“believe me” your feet stuck to the ground, you clean the blood from your mouth with your sleeve “there is no better dancer than me”

you lift a earth barrier, he blows it away with fire. a big foot step and the ground shakes, causing him to unbalance. you push him a few meters away.

you wait.

you search.

you made it.

once you realize that you had push the villains to the place you exactly wanted them to be, you don’t wait. when present mic’s voice was heard all over the battlefield.

todoroki steps back leaving you and all the other heroes to do your thing.

but he doesn’t rest.

his on guard ready to react to anything that might put anyone in danger. that might put you in danger.

he concentrates himself, he is not going to lose.

he doesn’t see the huge villain going to his back, while transforming his hand to a gun.

you do.

you were holding the ground, a terrified look comes across your eyes.

and the time stops again, or at least it slows down.

a look to the cliff you were holding.

a gaze to your boyfriend. and the villain who is ready to kill him.

you can do it.

10 seconds, maybe.

you keep one hand in the ground holding it until the final sign shows up. the sign that meant “let the villains fall now”

and the other one, you quickly raise it to shouto’s direction.

your body hurts.

the villain with the gun is thrown away by a massive piece of soil that you created.

todoroki turns around. he freezes the villain.

you hold, just a little bit longer.

the cue is shouted.

and you feel how something pierces your stomach.

nine.

a heartrending scream.

todoroki’s throat hurts, everyone heard his scream.

a heart breaks.

and you still feel a cold metallic knife in you.

the energy you had starts fading away, you look around and see toga with a huge smile in her face.

the time still is slowed down.

you feel your feet part from the ground. you were now floating, small pieces of soil surrounded you.

you see todoroki, he is slowly getting far from you.

it’s breaks your heart now, his eyes, those beautiful heterochromatic eyes are desperate.

at least he is safe now.

you can go now.

an arm suddenly surrounds your waist, it hurts even more than before. you don’t know why, maybe they wanted to take you away so that your classmates suffer your loss.

dying is one thing.

but dying and being lost is something completely different.

and with the few energy that your body has, you search for your aggressor.

dabi smirks, evil. he is also holding toga with his free arm. your body enrages knowing they will escape.

villains are smart, but those two were brilliant.

you look around and see hundreds of other villains falling from the cliff.

your heartbeats slow down too.

just one more time.

you still divise him, now some feet away and higher from you.

black, everything is turning black.

‘shouto todoroki, my love’ you think ‘thank you’

‘thank you for letting me see you one last time’

and number ten.

he starts counting, everyone does.

he doesn’t care, he’ll jump.

he sees your figure, falling down from the cliff.

you body, having a knife through it.

your arm, stretched out trying to reach his. your arms calling out for someone to go your way and hold it.

you eyes, widened, terrified.

4 seconds.

his feet don’t stop, he has to reach you. his breathless, but he has to become your hero now. you were waiting for him.

he is tired, his body doesn’t seem to respond. he no longer has ice, or fire. he tries, but nothing happens.

in the limit of the cliff he still tries to jump.

someone grabs him by the collar of his suit.

11 seconds.

he watches you, being held by him. and her laughing at what she’s done to you.

todoroki’s body is shaking.

todoroki’s body is clueless.

he sees your eyes, one last time before all the dust covers you and your kidnappers.

his head hurts.

and all of that because he sees your eyes, fighting.

his soul leaves his body.

14 seconds.

because the last thing he sees of you is your eyes closing.

his heart stops.

and he knows he is not there to see them opening again.

“please... just”

hand to his chest, holding back the tears.

“STAY ALIVE” he shouts into the void of the cliff bottom.

one phrase.

one scream.

one echoed broken voice.

one tired hero army.

only 21 seconds.

and one heartbroken teenager was all the battle left.

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literaphobe · 3 years

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did u watch the exile arc? there’s a lot of reasons why ppl think c!dream is irredeemable and why most of his actions aren’t “just human”. i mean he killed someone as a fun lil experiment, emotionally and physically abused, attempted to isolate and condition someone and that’s not even an extensive list, that’s just to one person he’s affected. these things aren’t “just acting human” or him acting like regina george. he’s actually powerful. he uses and abuses that power against ppl vulnerable and go against him bc he can. c!dream ... my abhorred.

i did! i’m not excusing any of c!dream’s actions actually, ur more than welcome to hate and despise him but i don’t like that some people dehumanize him n act like he was just “born evil” or that other characters aren’t/won’t ever be capable of similar evils. that he’s the “ultimate evil” or some cartoon supervillain because it really waters down his character? i also don’t like the “dream has no emotional attachments and never loved or cared about anything on the server” thing people like to push

like. just because he SAID that doesn’t mean it’s true. and i don’t like the rhetoric it pushes. because it’s assuming that the people who love and care for you can’t hurt you? which is untrue? sometimes people can love and care and still do horrid things that are unforgivable. i think it’s a disservice to assume that only c!dream is capable of all the evil things he’s done, and i think what he’s done is Try to cut off emotional attachment and feelings etc but imo he hasn’t succeeded. idk what will make him properly realize that but i think he should. like i’m not asking for a c!dream redemption arc where everyone forgives him fjskdksdj like. i love c!tommy. he NEVER deserved anything c!dream put him through. he deserves to never forgive c!dream. don’t worry, i’m not one of those people who thinks “it was actually all c!tommy’s fault n actually he abused c!dream!!!” like, no. that is not what i’m getting at

what i’m getting at is that this is like. a story. and c!dream is. one of the biggest characters. i like thinking about the future of his arc. and i think that he should be allowed to heal and do better for himself? and understand where he’s gone wrong n how he fell to such dark depths and how to like. not go back there? i definitely don’t want a “redemption arc” in the traditional sense, where he gets acceptance and forgiveness from everyone. but i think given the trajectory of certain characters on the smp right now? there’s definitely some people who will be able to relate to his descent into darkness

like i just. think its untrue that he “doesn’t care”. imo the reason why he wanted power in the first place n went through such despicable underhand ways to get it is because he cared. and i think it’s untrue that he never cared about tommy. i think the reason why he was able to hurt c!tommy so much was because they really were good friends at some point. like, c!tommy genuinely felt cared for by c!dream at some point in their friendship because he actually did care. and in his own sick twisted way he does still care? his sense of right and wrong at this current point in canon is SUPER messed up but if he didn’t care c!tommy wouldn’t have gotten to canonically kill him twice + almost succeed on the final one. and me bringing up that he cares isn’t meant to make him more sympathetic btw. its just to like. assert his humanity lmao. because its humans that do fucked up shit like that. its the ones you hold the closest that can hurt you the most

and like ok. him killing c!tommy in prison. very messed up. very messed up reasoning. but dying in the dream smp world where revival is a possible thing isn’t on the same level as getting murdered in our real world? its still fucked up to do of course, and it was fucked up to ‘tease’ c!tommy about doing it again, but like. some of y’all talk about it like its how murder is like in our world. and it’s..... really not fjdjdjd. but yeah. i just want to see more of c!dream because i think he is an interesting and entertaining character. that’s it really. i’m not here to spit in the faces of people who don’t like him but honestly i wouldn’t care about dream smp lore that much if c!dream weren’t actively involved in it. which is why i care about his humanity because humans can.... change. whether they deserve forgiveness is irrelevant to that imo i just want to see processes of change being enacted gkdkfdk does that make sense. i genuinely don’t wish to downplay any of c!tommy’s trauma and struggles as an abuse victim myself and i hope no one takes it that way

#ask #abuse mention #dream smp #mcyt #like..... theres a bunch of other things i could get into here #but its already so long n i p much answered ur question so i won’t go on anymore in this ask #i’m not interested in redeeming him!#there’s a difference in being redeemed n wanting to see a character do better things #i think thats more interesting than just seeing c!dream fight everyone over n over again #if every ‘season’ of dream smp is just everyone/someone versus c!dream #its gonna get old lol

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theskyexists · 4 years

Text

Praxeus

Graham looks so strange - with glasses and out in the sun - lol.

I was just gonna say: oh these two husbands are so nice. And I'm gonna say it again: these husbands were SO NICE. That really was a very nice romantic story. (I was scared they were gonna kill one of em off).

I was very ???? When Yaz was like : I'm going back! And then the Doctor was like: ok! But I guess it makes sense when she's juggling so much?

Loved Gabriela teaming up with Yaz because it showed how much Yaz has grown and the Two Girls Roaming repeat was great. Also a nice little touch that neither Ryan not Yaz knew of their vlog as a way of saying they were out of touch (only - is that really a thing? Are vloggers really so popular that everybody should know them???). Gabriela switching from Ryan to Yaz in an instant was a weird twist but I spose there was no alternative plot-wise.

Gabriela checking Ryan out? Pretty funny. 'I do a lot of running'. HA.

Really really loved all the character moments - Yaz turning Graham's map, Ryan ragging on Graham, Graham playing granddad again. Him being just a bit of a silly old man but still very wise. Great.

Sad Suki couldn't be saved. Sadder Amaru was....killed??? That bird behaviour wasn't explained entirely. (Or why they'd have him walk out onto the beach - or why they felt the need to kill him - Chibs is so trigger happy). Did he survive because of the plastic antidote? I don't think so bc they didn't show it. Honestly he was completely useless as a character and it would have been better if he'd been cut. There weren't really any stakes to his death and he didn't really have much depth afforded him. And it makes no sense that he'd never notice Suki experimenting on people? Actually now that I think about it - did they control the birds or not? Because that's kind of implied - but how. Or did they just nab everybody they found to be infected. That reminds me that I have no idea how Adam texted his husband.

Upset that there was no reference to the Doctor going out to save this other planet from Praxeus.

The cure was also....I mean. Planet Earth has the microorganisms to fight back against the bacteria? Why then weren't any microorganisms capable of that on that other planet? But it was nice to get some basic biology education I guess.

The Doctor WAS wonderfully snappy, brilliant and the beats on her suddenly showing up were very fun. Her gun-aversion was also quite subtle this time - which made it enjoyably hypocritical. I really really really enjoyed the dialogue, acting and editing here.

Not sure about Graham and Ryan not knowing what pathogen and microplastics are....I mean. Are there people put there who don't know that...?

Quite liked the international approach too.

'Look at you going out on your own and not getting killed.'

It seems like the Doctor really does try to limit their exposure carefully but knows she won't always succeed. But....what an interesting thing to say.

Hmmmm. Yaz' dissatisfaction was also telling...of something. This is the first time I think we've seen her strike out on her own - and it REALLY contributed to the solution. I love that - but Yaz is not happy with the result.

Ryan saving the Earth by collecting a bird from Peru - good stuff and Tosin Cole plays it brilliantly. It shows - finally - how these adventures and the Doctor really build him up.

The Doctor divvying up tasks actually felt relevant and not contrived because she WAS actually consistently too busy to take care of everything herself. Graham's empathy interacting with Husband1's issues had major impact, Ryan sticking with his jobs and reporting in and doing them well - had real major impact, Yaz going beyond what is asked of her - had major impact. And the acting from them was wonderful.

The guests mostly had one-note emotional stories - and that's how it should be, I think. Giving them just enough texture but not so much that they detract from the companions - rather, their stories show off new facets to the companions.

This story -the threads - most of it really came together. Pete McTighe did great on this (which, surprising, after Kerblam!) - a more subtle environmentalist message mostly based in education and a genuinely despicable act from a nuanced villain - using a whole planet as a laboratory for studying a deadly pathogen after your own has succumbed??? That is NOT ethical science (even if the despair in her was obvious) and the moral message was clear and appropriate. The Doctor reaching out nonetheless was also very well done.

That the Doctor did not think to sonic these gas mask creatures and establish they were alien before, or take off their masks (you can't tall me those were deadlocked) - whatever... They kicked the pace high enough that that plot hole wasn't obvious.

If all episodes had been and are going to be like this I would be very happy indeed.

(loved all of the Doctor's lines but especially her line about being weak for scientists lol)

#dw #my stuff #praxeus #doctor who spoilers #dw spoilers #i.....really enjoyed that #the plot holes dont really matter to me tbh #vidi #edit: they do matter to me as there are like ten more than even listed here #but i still enjoyed it

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ghostplantss · 5 years

Text

Brickclub 1.1.1 - 2 + Introduction

Hello! I’m Alice she/her/hers, trying to catch up to brick club, not the sharpest pencil in the drawer, knows near nothing, so this’ll be something of a miscellaneous collection of rambles just for myself and hopefully it’ll work out!

1.1.1

M. Myriel! I adore you and I’ve missed you terribly

Footnotes and app “common knowledge” say that the inspiration for M. Myriel is de Miollis, bishop of Digne from 1806 to 1838, emigrated to Rome during the revolution, anti-napoleon, bought back church land confiscated by the frev.

Mgr Myriel dans les miserables

According to this article, which I cannot understand since it is in French, jvj was based on pierre Morin, released after 5 years in prison for stealing bread for his sister’s starving family, couldn’t find a job or shelter, was taken in by the aforementioned bishop and died in the battle of Waterloo - does this have anything to do w the pontmercy?

de miollis was born 19 june, 1753 instead of? 1815 - 75 = 1740? I couldn’t find anything remotely interesting that happened in 1740 except marquis de sade’s birth and hopefully that was an unfortunate coincidence.

he had 15 siblings, 7 of whom died young, 4 brothers, 4 sisters. of whom one brother took on the family business of conseiller, two (i think) were generals under napoleon - family dinners must’ve been difficult - and the last was a prefect. Hugo says Myriel had 2 brothers, a prefect and a general, which is close enough. de Moillis does not have a sister baptistine, but he does have a sister named anne magdeleine de moillis, married to a marquis, with a servant named genevieve. the article says perhaps hugo thought the name genevieve too noble for a servant, which i find silly bc magloire’s a perfectly lovely name. so i went in looking for his relationship with baptistine and felt terribly cheated to realize hugo had fabricated the sister almost entirely which i suppose is fair.

I think the article says that de Moillis was given the position bc his brother was a general under napoleon. and that the hospital thing fabricated as well but! i’m sloth and articles are so entirely dull.

A 17th century precursor to Mgr Myriel

This article posits that the creation M. Myriel was influenced by Lancelot’s 17th century novel relation d'un voyage d'aleth which sounds terribly interesting and i must look into it aaaand i’m terribly off topic

SO ANYHOW:

Myriel emigrated to Italy just as the revolution began and when Napoleon left Italy for France, one by fortune and the other by choice. And he said he was a good man while Napoleon was a great man - I promised myself I’d get throw the next book to call Napoleon a great man at the wall, but alas, I’m reading this digitally - so they’re somewhat opposites!

Myriel was in an arranged marriage and indulged in affairs, which his later parishioners v consciously forgot, which? I suppose? Shows his love for them is more unconditional than theirs for him? And could? Well? Parallel how ppl were so reluctant to look into the past of Madeleine and how easily they forsook poor jvj as soon as the v ancient news reemerged

Young myriel sounds like such a riot! A bit like? Courfeyrac aka the nicer tholomyès aw imagine if he were cosette’s father instead? I’m sure he wouldn’t abandon her Oh no I’m off topic but I suppose Hugo here’s either saying? Affairs aren’t virtuous and so ppl are capable of change - which would be hypocritical of him - or affairs are ok as long as you take responsibility and such which? i suppose I can get behind. Of course, with the ease of getting divorces nowadays, hopefully people wouldn’t stay in loveless arranged marriages. I remember, when I first read the book, being rather discomfited by the way Myriel seems to ignore how his actions affect women who depend on him? Such as the voluntary scarcity he not only devoted himself to but also foisted upon his sister and sweet Magloire. And? now the way he cheated on his wife, who probably wished no part in this relationship either, but has less freedom than he does in this marriage but ah now I’m terribly off topic and bumming myself out.

I wish there were more said on the 30 years they were married, on their exile to italy, i want to know it all! “Nobody knows” says the omniscient narrator oh come on Hugo spill the beans on myriel! I am the brainless gossiping mob tell me everything

I love magloire and baptistine’s descriptions I love them both! Hugo says a lady needs to be a mother to be venerable but i think that’s just you Hugo you have this odd thing for feral saintly mothers and who can blame you. Mlle. baps is an aspiration! mme. Magloire too! She’s so hard working despite being ill, and it just isn’t right she should be the only one to be so busy when she has asthma

I know I shouldn’t ship them but reason escapes me

1740: born

1758- 1760: 18-20 arranged marriage

1790ish: 50ish emigrated to Italy - wife died of? consumption?

1806: 66 become bishop

1815: 75 current

Cool quotes:

“La révolution survint, les événements se précipitèrent, les familles parlementaires décimées, chassées, traquées, se dispersèrent.” - it flows so nicely!

“M. Myriel devait subir le sort de tout nouveau venu dans une petite ville où il y a beaucoup de bouches qui parlent et fort peu de têtes qui pensent.” - such a burn and this is me! little brain and much tongue

on Mme. Baps: “et cette diaphanéité laissait voir l'ange… Sa personne semblait faite d'ombre … un peu de matière contenant une lueur ; de grands yeux toujours baissés ; un prétexte pour qu'une âme reste sur la terre.” aaa i adore this so much! to imagine her angelic, respectable, and made of shadows!

1.1.2

Onto chapter 2! So um I know this is terribly off topic, but nap the bonbon said that an archbishop would have a stipend of 15000 francs while a bishop would be given 10000 francs, and this book published after les mis still cited the same numbers as well so it’s odd that Myriel has an annual stipend of 15000 francs? AHHh also! bonbon said that rectors - one class of them at least - would be paid 1500 francs annually, and i’m not entirely sure, but isn’t a curé a rector? as hugo said, myriel never really took more money than he needed. BUT he allocated 1000 francs instead of 1500 for his personal stipend and so I’m! very! confused! i feel like i’m v earnestly explaining how a triangle has four sides. i swear i’ll move on.

(adding on oh god i just realized?? baps gets 500 a year? i really hope myriel isn’t counting her pension as part of his own personal expenses... though itt does say that “Avec ces quinze cents francs, ces deux vieilles femmes et ce vieillard vivaient.” but that would be rather despicable)

I love the part where he converts the palace to a hospital! hugo started off by describing the extravagance and grandeur of it all, and then juxtaposing it to? the hospital and myriel’s decision to swap houses and there’s something terribly satisfying about the layout. just. how it ends with “Il y a erreur, je vous dis. Vous avez mon logis, et j'ai le vôtre. Rendez-moi ma maison. C'est ici chez vous.” it all wraps so nicely!

The book reiterates how Myriel’s family was ruined by the frev - to what extent, for both of his brothers are employed by the napoleonic government. To that end, it almost appears as a sort of denouncement of violent social change. However, that isn’t quite what myriel believes, it seems, at least according to his budget? since he allocates more to the People as opposed to family, so i’m very confused. Perhaps Hugo is saying that the sacrifices of a few good men who benefit from an unjust system is necessary.

Myriel took the transportation fee! it was hilarious. of course, i do have mixed feelings because M. Préameneau was right, it’s ridiculous for someone in such a small parish to apply for a carriage fee, which was at least partially why Myriel ultimately chose the donkey. and i’m supposing this most likely sets a terrible precedent for the next bishop of digne who might not have similar philanthropist sentiments. so Hugo’s saying we’re allowed to take advantage of a broken system as long as our own ends are good? how machiavellian! and the buildup was hilarious even if we all knew myriel would never pocket the money himself. poor Mme. Magloire though, it sounded like the household really could have used the money. I think the way she said? that he began by being kind with other people, and now he will end with us? it’s almost rather tragic. that he should’ve neglected the feelings of the people closest to him.

Hugo seems to have? Baps represent the spirit and Magloire the body, or at least more worldly worries, which seems rather classist of him . I suppose it might be a necessary evil of liking symbols so much - you inevitably fall into stereotypes - and i do love them both, but it makes me uncomfortable.

Posts from other ppl I want to keep:

pilf:

- “il y a toujours encore plus de misère en bas que de fraternité en haut, tout était donné, pour ainsi dire, avant d'être reçu” + charity

- that baps “venerates” her brother, and that he lists all their monetary needs as his own personal expenses, despite the fact that they are the ones managing the household and the money and that they are living off the money same as him, and?? baps only gets 500 yearly, half of what her brother considers a meagre sum

- and aaaa i love how pilf said that it isn’t an admirable move to force those around you to live according to your own morals. just. yes. baps and magloire don’t esp have a choice. and?? magloire and baps really did carry the brunt of the burden. Myriel was able to stay afloat “grâce à la sévère économie de madame Magloire et à l'intelligente administration de mademoiselle Baptistine.”

akallabeth:

- how the specificness of the itemized list shows intent and research into the most underserved individuals + causes in his parish: 1. soup for hospital 2. debtors w families

- “And he calls the almsgiving his household expenses. The young man asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” The bishop responds, “The poor are my family.”” (i couldn’t find this quote! but it is amazing!)

- pfff his swanky, company-provided house. i love it

- 15000 francs approx 3 mil usd or 58 workers’ annual wages, which means?? bap’s pension is worth? two adult male workers’ wages? wow

- Myriel uses vous for Magloire

#brickclub #1.1.1 #baploire #i love them so much!#1.1.2 #hopefully i grow less confused as time goes on #how i wish i had a brain #i'm sorry this became so long i must've been too excited

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melodicminho · 6 years

Text

strangers to lovers (part one) / hakyeon

anonymous said: Hi, nice day!! I read your masterlist. And no one has ever requested for VIXX! I want to be the first person. I want to request an Strangers to Lovers AU with Hakyeon/N because Strangers to Lovers is like, my favorite trope. <3 If it's not possible, then a College AU? Thanks in advance, have a nice day/week!~

the intro is kinda *REALLY* long so there will be a part two, oops. i hope this is okay for you even though its super trash!

thing is, you two have been bumping into each other a lot

you guys don’t know each other, but somehow ur both at the same place at the same time?

first time he saw you was at a public swimming pool

you had on a thin swimming shirt with shorts and you were hanging out with your friends

all he had was a quick glance at you before jaehwan started to splash massive waves at him

the next time you two were in the same place, you had seen him at the dancing studio

he was dancing some sort of choreo in front of a few people

one by one, those people copied his moves slowly but surely as he watched on with an approving look on his face

you gazed at him through the window for a few more seconds before turning around to head to your destination

hakyeon taking a mere glance as he noticed someone vaguely familiar

the third time he saw you was when he was at the zoo with his friend taekwoon

you were excitedly watching the dolphin show as taekwoon led him down the other way, to where the penguins were

hakyeon wanted to go talk to you that day, but taekwoon wouldn’t stop dragging him to other animals, much to his dismay

he saw you again on a different occasion which

??? are u stalking him or something lol

he was out with hyuk at this local barbecue place

and somehow, you were seated a few tables away from him with your friends

you n ur friends noticed hakyeon and ????

“is he stalking u or what lol”

he isn’t really sure if this is a sign to approach you but hes still kind of worried that you really are following him around

sanghyuk noticed that hakyeon was staring and nudged his shoulder, speaking with his mouth full of beef

“if you’re so interested, maybe you should talk to them, hyung”

“no no i can’t. i think they’re stalking me”

seems like he said that too loud though cause your friend in front you just spat out her drink onto the table

“oh my god WHY” you whisper shouted in embarrassment, pretending you didn’t hear what that strange man said as you continued to cook the meat in front of you

intrigued, sanghyuk looks at his friend with sparkling eyes, shoving a perilla leaf into his mouth, “what makes you say that?”

“i’ve seen her at the same places i’ve been four times this week??? this seriously can’t be a coincidence”

“maybe you’re the one stalking them?”

sanghyuk receives a slap to the back of his neck for that comment

“hey, it could also be that red string of fate thing, that would be pretty cool.”

“this isn’t a soulmates kind of thing, kid, what are you saying.”

sanghyuk raises his hands up in defense and goes back to eating as hakyeon stares at the back of your head with a frown on his face

shoving a wrap into your mouth, your friend quietly peeks behind your shoulder and wrinkles her nose, “yo, that dude’s staring at you.”

with a weak sigh, you rest your head on the table, quietly whining

“maybe you should go talk to him or something, tell him to stop and all”

and you were like !!! year ur right i will go talk to him and so you stood up with a defiant look on your face and began to stalk towards hakyeon as he sat there motionless

sanghyuk whips out his phone to text the groupchat hhhhhgko

‘yo come to the bbq place i think hakyeons gonna get beat lol’

you ask hakyeon if he’s been stalking you for the past week and his mind is blown!!! what did you just say to him

he would’ve been more upset with you if you weren’t so attractive uuhg

he scoffs, “you’ve got this all wrong, isn’t it the other way around?”

and ur standing there like

excuse me?

sanghyuk’s silently sitting at the table with his tongue in his cheek as he tries to contain his laughter and he’s telling the rest of the group to \HURRY UP’

“you really think i’d stalk someone like you? that’s headass”

“um OUCH”

hyuk throws his phone onto the table and throws his head back, trying his best not to spit his food out of his mouth

before hakyeon gets to say anything else, taekwoon’s already there to diffuse the situation. had it been hongbin or wonshik, they’d possibly instigate an even bigger fight if they felt like it

“hyung, calm down. i think you’re getting a little too worked up” jaehwan eyes smiled at his friend as he slid into the booth beside him, the man turning back to you with a sheepish grin

with an intimidated glare, hakyeon tried his best to calm down, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. with how upset you are with him, someone you don’t even know, he admits defeat to himself. you probably weren’t stalking him

“you thought this person was stalking you?” taekwoon looks at you with a blank gaze once hyuk was done explaining

then he smiles shyly, looping his arm with yours, “you thought my friend was stalking you?”

an alarm goes off in hakyeon’s head

!!!!!!!!! FRIEND

“huh? that’s your friend????”

“um i think our whole group knows them except for you, hakyeon” sanghyuk speaks informally, eating the beef with hongbin and wonshik as jaehwan nods an affirmative

ur friend’s sitting alone now but she doesn’t mind lol you said you’d pay for the food today so she’s gonna ask for more meat

“so this is the guy you were hanging out with at the zoo?” you looked up at taekwoon with a wrinkled nose and he laughed

“he was in the washroom when you found me by the penguins”

you pointed at jaehwan, “and that was the guy you kept splashing at the pool?”

“uh yeah, but he went to go eat a snack when you saw me.”

then you glared at wonshik, “and he’s also the guy that was teaching that choreo class, right?”

he shrugged nonchalantly, “i mean yeah, but you came to see my class.”

hakyeon feels insulted as you’re talking to the other boys except for him

your gaze was then pointed at hyuk who gave you a squishy smile, “why’d you bring him here?”

“cause i like the food here, duh.”

you groaned and hit your head against taekwoon’s shoulder a couple of times, his arm still linked with yours

“all this time he was part of our circle and i didn’t even know? you guys are so despicable.” you poked your tongue at all of them and they shrugged in response

since the situation was no big deal anymore, you went back to you and your friend’s table and started eating again, not even speaking a word to hakyeon

“you’re such a bad person hyuuuuuuuuuung” the younger ones of the group booed and nudged at the man as he shoved perilla leaves into his mouth, his embarrassment growing and growing

fast forward a few days

the fifth time you see him, it’s a grocery store

without hesitating, you stood beside him as he looked at the different cereals

he didn’t look up since he thought you were a stranger

ok u kind of are still but

you nudged him, your eyes fixated on his face as he slowly turns to you

there was a hint of surprise on his visage when he saw that it was you and his posture deflated a little

“hey, i’m sorry about what happened between us before” you smiled warmly at him and he gave you a little smile back

“it’s alright. i think it was my fault anyways. i was being creepy at the barbecue place and i can’t blame for you thinking you were being stalked. it’s 2017, you never know what someone is capable of i guess.” hakyeon rubbed the back of his neck with an awkward chuckle and threw a cereal box into his shopping cart

“wanna start over?” you ask him, your voice going softer as you hold your hand out for him to shake

with a forgiving smile, hakyeon instead pulled you in for a warm embrace

once you started fresh, you and hakyeon have become the inseperable friends of the group

jaehwan voices his dislike for this

“he stole them from me!! this is disrespectful”

you were on your phone with your legs resting across hakyeon’s lap, your pressed against hongbin’s side on the couch you all were sharing

“that’s unfortunate” hakyeon would chuckle, patting jaehwan’s shoulder, “sorry, kid.”

“i also am opposed to this friendship,” taekwoon mutters from the recliner, frowning at the way hakyeon’s hand is resting on your knee

“you stole them from us, you friend stealer.” the man speaks with an empty voice, his gaze blank but powerful as he has a silent staring competition with the person he’s accusing

hongbin wraps his arm around your neck to put you in a loose headlock which makes your attention go to hakyeon and taekwoon

????? these guys man

“i’ll forever be #1 on their list of friends now,” he says proudly, leaning back against the couch with an arrogant smile

evERYONE HATES IT WHEN U TWO ARE IN THE SAME ROOM

kdkvhhhd pls shut up hakyeon ur so noisy

people who aren’t in your friend circle think you two are dating and it’s so stressful for everyone bc hakyeon keeps fawning over u

“thats my mans” he sobs as you do something that isn’t even something he should be proud of

you literally just made food for yourself

??? taekwoon decides that hakyeon should have an intervention

everyone quickly agrees although they don’t really know why he needs one

“u need to get ur shit together”

“u need a break from y/n lol why are you like this”

you’re just eating the snacks everyone provided for the intervention, you don’t really mind anything that’s going on

“no more y/n for you until you can kep yourself under control!!!”

hakyeon submits

sends you love signals every now and then when everyone’s hanging out

you’re amused at this so you send a love signal back

basically all of these guys are your bitches ngl they worship the ground you stand on for some reason

probably because you’re the equilibrium that keeps this group of 7 friends together

it was hakyeon at first but that was because he didn’t know you existed until a few months ago

two leaders in the group is probs what everyone needs lol

as hakyeon gets to know you more and more as each day passes by, he slowly gravitates towards you once again

you just keep pulling him in with your spontaneous personality and pretty laugh, and your eyes lure him in, and your voice makes him want to listen to it all day and your huggable frame makes him want to--

ewHoa

hakyeon calm down honey

his daydreaming stopped when a pair of fingers snapped in front his face

“yo, you alright?”

“yeah, lol, don’t mind me.”

going forward a few weeks!!

u seem to plague his mind everyday

silently losing his sanity because ur all he can think about and he can’t do anything WHEN YOU SMILE AT HIM LIKE THAT !!!!!

he is trying to gather up the courage to ask you out, and jaehwan and wonshik are trying to hype him up but it kinda just makes him feel worse

hakyeon is worrying a lot and probably feels like you two are better off as friends

jaehwan’s saying no and wonshik’s agreeing with hakyeon just for fun

“at this rate, you’re never going to get a chance with them if you don’t ask them out /: “ hongbin says, squinting his eyes at the tv screen in the living room as hakyeon clutches at his chest

someone help him

#hakyeon #cha hakyeon #kpop imagines #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #kpop au #vixx reactions #vixx imagines #vixx scenarios #hakyeon scenarios #n scenarios

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bytheanchorarchived · 7 years

Text

@vcrlac replied to your post “sometimes

i cannot believe that right now everyone thinks izzy started taking it on her own bc she 'needed a release' not her own superior, who she was supposed to be able to trust, gave it to her.

me either, it makes me incredibly upset. more reasoning and triggering content (read warnings) under the cut.

@pcrcbctci replied to your post “sometimes i just sit here and tremble at the thought of how @ldertree...”

tbh not to be triggering but to me it was really rapey and i know they didn't go there but just like i can't help but feel like yeah it did

i was talking to @vcrlac last night about exactly that, and it’s something i’ve felt from day one and have been thinking about for a very very long time. it’s how i felt during the scene, it’s how sick it got me watching it, it’s how revolting it was to see, and here are a few reasons why that we share in opinion:

1. @ldertree is her superior, is@belle was supposed to TRUST him. despite everything he did, what he did before to j@ce was (as far as she knows) just cl@ve business. he was trying to catch someone they believe to be a spy, and while she hates him for thinking it, she can’t exactly judge, and once j@ce underwent trial, izzy thought he was released and everything was okay again. she had no idea what @ldertree did with the blackmailing, what he did DURING the trial, the words he told j@ce, etc. she had no reason not to trust him with a MEDICINE. she had no reason to believe that the cl@ve envoy and head of the institute would do something so LOW to her as to violate her body, and completely change the body she lives in that is her HOME for the rest of her life.

2. they live in a military society. again. that influences her TRUST on him. does sh have a whole dam lot of politics? of course they do, but their CORE is military, which means that when a superior is aiding a soldier with a war battle, to think they would do ANYTHING to harm that soldier would be utterly DISGRACEFUL. imagine a captain in battle, poisoning their injured soldier, that had every chance to live and go on with their lives, just bc they could. and as talia pointed out, it’d be disrespectful for her to say no, when he was just offering her some relief AND the possibility of more responsibility and a rise in rank, considering he told her he wanted to help her so she could lead their mission to the ir0n sisters..

3. he did a HORRIBLE thing, and yet, he practically didn’t use it for anything. he tried to get her to spy on cl@ry, but when that didn’t work, he didn’t even push it, and then tried to get her to “DATE” him, in exchange for the drug, so wth was his real motives here??!! it just makes the whole thing more disgusting than if he was just trying to gather power and grow in the eyes of the cl@ve as a strong leader who can control v@lentine’s children. it’d still be despicable, but it’s unclear if that’s even WHY he did what he did, when he gave up so easily. he could had easily blackmailed izzy, i.e. by threatening to report to the cl@ve she was an addict and a risk to their missions, she couldn’t prove he was the one that gave it to her. he had more than the means to either get her to do what he wanted or kick her out like he did j@ce, so she couldn’t speak against him. he did neither.

4. he used something he SOMEHOW knew about her (bc he somehow knows a lot of fucking things he wasn’t supposed to), about her love for the ir0n sisters to lure her in. he used a CHILDHOOD DREAM of !zzy’s to violate her. doesn’t get much worse than that. he made her feel proud, happy, and hopeful, and then used her body against her consent and gave her a life-time sentence.

5. why is izzy not saying anything?! is@belle’s EMBARRASSED (as is common for anyone to be when violated in such a manner). she thinks (as good part of this victim-blaming fandom) that it was all her fault. she thinks she should had KNOWN better, that she should had known ABOUT the drug, that she should had NEVER trusted @ldertree (even tho her entire society and values she was raised with told her to), that she should had been STRONGER and STOPPED it somehow, AFTER he had already turned her into an addict from day one. she’s humiliated, as she’s said countless times she feels WEAK and guilty for everything she did after that, even though she was REMARKABLY STRONG and none of it was her fault. she blames herself for being a fool, and not stopping sooner (even though she had no idea that she was becoming an addict and what that drug was doing to her, and that she wouldn’t be able to stop). she doesn’t WANT people to know, because she doesn’t WANT blame taken off of her. she wants people to blame her so she can keep herself in check, and not forget what she did. contrary to what fandom thinks, she IS a good person and she DOES blame herself for all of it.

6. what @ldertree did to her, changed her body forever. she’s never gonna be able to forget it or get over it. addicts never become ex-addicts. she won’t be able to drink again, something she used to enjoy, she won’t be able to lose control just for fun, because she can’t afford to anymore, she won’t ever forget her shame, she will always be vulnerable to vampires, and their lure, as they crudely rubbed in our faces in another episode (something that made me just as sick to watch). she will never feel comfortable around them again, not completely. it will take her a VERY long time for her to feel like her body is entirely hers again, and she might not even feel it. (let’s not even GET into the fact that the ONE person that “helped” her out of addiction is the ONE person that tried to kill her little brother and betrayed all of them. it just makes me want to hurl for her. the level of DISTRUST this girl should have, is gonna have, to anyone NEW?!! is... i can’t even. but we’re here to talk about @ldertree, and @ldertree is not an abused child with demon blood that couldn’t have done any better if he tried) he is a SANE man, in perfect mental capabilities that was COMPLETELY aware that what he was doing was gonna stain is@belle for LIFE, possibly KILL her, and if not, ruin all of her relationships, her dreams, and her future.

7. do YOU KNOW HOW BAD IT HURT to watch her not pass the purity test? doesn’t get more metaphorical, hurtful, and quite frankly, awful than that, does it? she was violated against her will and then she didn’t pass a purity test, and she was UTTERLY HUMILIATED in front of her CHILDHOOD HEROES, in front of her role models, the people she looked up to during her entire LIFE, the people she worked herself to the ground to maybe get the chance to impress one day. even if she didn’t want to be a part of them, she still craved their RESPECT, izzy CRAVES RESPECT so badly, VALIDATION, is the ONE thing she needs the most, and @ldertree not only STRIPPED that away from her, in the eyes of her society, family and loved ones, he sent her to her childhood heroes and let her be publicly disgraced by her military superiors and people she held at her highest standard, and will now very probably always look down at her.

8. no one fucking ASKED her how she started. no one asked her. they just assumed she’d take something like that knowingly to ease her pain. as though they didn’t know her at all. as though they didn’t know is@belle would never hurt her own body like that. as though they didn’t know she loves herself more than that. as though they never believed she was ‘the strongest of us all’ at all. because if they DID, they’d have asked her. and then MAYBE, she might’ve told them.

9. the scene ITSELF?! him brushing her hair aside, his hands on her, her sleeve down, her tears, her look of drowsy ecstasy, the sick pleasure that was obvious on him. it was MADE to feel that way. it wasn’t even clinical or cold, it was dirty and downright disgusting. he took advantage of her in more than one way and if his plan had worked he’d had got her into bed without any consent out of it (since he did ask to exchange “dating” for drugs). they can’t say it wasn’t meant to feel that way. if it was, @ldertree would have just given the pot to her, but he wanted to make sure she was gonna use it, because he KNEW she’d be lost from the VERY FIRST touch. and he also enjoyed doing it, enjoyed violating her.

TL;DR if felt that way for a REASON. it had all the characteristics of abuse, and it was supposed to be that way but it was later never addressed. izzy is living in a shame that isn’t HERS, and she’s lost her self trust and her self reliance and doesn’t believe she’s strong anymore. she doesn’t trust herself, and her family thinks she did it to herself, and izzy believes it. it’s the worst case scenario, and i don’t think they’ll address it again. she’ll have to deal with it for the rest of her life, but she’ll never get someone to tell her it was never her fault to start with. that she’s not WEAK for trusting her superior, for using a drug without knowing it, for doing the actions any addict would, for battling this completely on her own, for being humiliated by something she didn’t do, for being made to feel like a STRANGER in her own BODY. so yeah. it does feel that way i’d say.

#pcrcbctci #vcrlac #trigger_#rape_#drugs_#abuse_#headcanon tag #it fucking hurts me to write all of this down #𝕤𝕖𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕒𝕟 𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙 ↬ b talks #it hurts me physically to relive it #long post_

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