#it’s not crack it’s just goofy
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say it
Byleth makes Edelgard say swear words.
(~350 words; too stupid to post on ao3)
“‘Shit.’”
“Grotesque.”
“Give it a try.”
“… Shit.”
“Very good. ‘Ass.’”
“That one is easier. I’ve said it before.”
“Then why don’t you say it now?”
“I… er…”
“If it’s so easy, then do it.”
“… Ass.”
“Excellent.”
“Don’t mock me.”
“How about this one? ‘Cunt.’”
“Wh—I actually, um, don’t know what that means.”
“You don’t know ‘cunt’?”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Byleth, it’s simply not in my lexicon.”
“It means va—”
“All right, I understand. The gesture was absolutely unnecessary. I’m astounded at how many words there seem to be for the same thing.”
“If you think that’s bad, you won’t believe how many there are for pe—”
“Well, this has been a fun exercise and hopefully a source of great amusement to you, but I think I’m finished.”
“Wait, wait.”
“No.”
“One more, one more.”
“Mm, no. I don’t think so.”
“Please?”
“… You know it’s not fair of you to give me those eyes.”
“Is that a yes?”
“All right. All right. One more.”
“Yesssss. ‘Fuck.’”
“Byleth!”
“What?! You said one more, and that’s the one to say.”
“I’m—I am not—”
“Please?”
“You can’t pull the same maneuver twice in a minute and expect to succeed. That’s poor strategy.”
“Is it working?”
“… Regrettably, it is.”
“Then it seems like a good strategy to me. Just say it. ‘Fuck.’ It’s easy.”
“It most certainly is not!”
“Try it. Say ‘fuck.’”
“… Fuck.”
“Oh, that’s rich. That’s very good.”
“Are you quite satisfied?”
“Nearly. Now use it in a sentence.”
“Byleth.”
“I’ll give you one. It’ll be easy.”
“I did not—and do not—agree to this!”
“Just repeat after me.”
“No!”
“Say, ‘Byleth, I want you to fuck me.’”
“… Oh.”
“Go on, El. You can do it.”
“… Byleth, I…”
“Keep going.”
“Byleth, I-I want you to… f-fuck me.”
“Good girl. Wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“Less than I—ah—thought it would be.”
“Mm. Well, you’ve certainly earned a reward, haven’t you?”
“Yes, my teacher. Fuck…”
“Aren’t you a fast learner? I’m impressed.”
“If you don’t shut up and kiss me right now, I’m going to start swearing in earnest.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Your Majesty.”
#fe3h#fire emblem#edeleth#edelgard von hresvelg#byleth eisner#ficlet#sterge.rtf#sick of having this knock around in my drafts so now it is loose in the wild#but it’s so dumb that i really don’t want to bother posting it on ao3#if i got an email alert for this i’d be disappointed#besides i’m trying to pretend i’m hard at work on the vickyvesties right now#it’s not crack it’s just goofy#theoretically this takes place during the honeymoon phase of chapter 5 of shared space#since edelgard knows her swears by the time of muscle memory/shared space chapter 9#edelgard’s combination teacher/praise thing is truly unfortunate but what can you do. sometimes a girl is a gotdam mess#it’s not weird unless you make it weird. but she makes it weird.#i think sometimes (like here) she drops a ‘my teacher’ accidentally and byleth politely pretends not to notice#because if she Did call attention to it edelgard would be mortified and that would be the end of whatever fun things they’re doing#frankly no one deserves to say fuck more than edelgard#but with that giant stick up her ass she’d have a hard time getting around to it without some goading#i also hc that dropping honorifics is generally a Huge Turnoff for edelgard due to power dynamic shenanigans#their relationship is Complicated Enough in canon before i fucked it up more in shared space lol#so byleth is really asking for trouble here#but i also reckon ‘my teacher’ is a vibekiller for byleth so if anything they’re just riling each other up now#godspeed girls. hope you shut up long enough to get some
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Incorrect Huskerdust quotes
(Realistically the canon confession we’re gonna get)
Husk: Angel, you remember when we had that chat at the bar and agreed we were better off as friends?
Angel: (naked in Husk’s bed) Can’t say I remember that one…
Husk: (midway through taking his clothes off) Fuck... Me neither.
#𝕰𝖉𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓: 𝕳𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖎𝖘 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗! 😈#|| crack •#fr though I want them to have like a goofy friendship like this that blooms into something more just at that delicious sweet spot#huskerdust incorrect quotes#incorrect huskerdust quotes#incorrect hazbin hotel quotes#hazbin hotel incorrect quotes#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel angel dust#hazbin hotel husk#hazbin angel dust#hazbin husk#huskerdust#angelhusk#casinohearts#vivziepop#@iwozlegit
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"THIS IS JUST IN! HUMAN EXCHANGE STUDNET DEEP THROATED THE SEVEN LORDS SO GOOD THEY BECAME THEIR SLAVES. OTHER DEMONS WISH TO TRY THEIR LUCK BUT ARE IMMEADIATELY KILLED MY THE LORDS! More at 11."
Lucifer rolls his eyes and turns to glare at the other brothers, “And which one of you fools, gave out such a ridiculous headline?”
all the brothers shaking their heads and protesting,  varying versions of ‘Not me!’, ‘Nope!’ and ‘Why’d ya look at me first?!’ echoing between the other six demons as MC just sits in the middle of everything and grins knowing they’re responsible-
‘n already planning how much they’ll add to the story before the brothers figure out it was them 😌
#MC making up (true) headlines just because they can and because drama is funny#I have goofy / crack on the brain tonight I’m so sorry jshsjshsh#obey me!#obey me mc#obey me#moot mail!#ro rambles#om!#obey me crack#obey me suggestive
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Dairy Prince AU
Danny is royalty
What? Because he defeated Pariah Dark? Don’t be ridiculous! Danny is the heir of the Dairy King of course!
Okay so I love the theory that Danny is basically a baby ghost because of how long(or specifically how recently) he’s been dead. Now a lot of people place Clockwork as some kind of ghost guardian for Danny, but let’s think about it. Who was the first non hostile ghost that actually helped Danny out?
That’s right, the Dairy King
So Danny, much like a baby goose, has imprinted on the Dairy King and is now technically his ghost son... making him the Dairy Prince
So now we get a Danny really confused about his sudden surge of dairy based abilities. Sure, being able to heal faster after drinking milk is nice, but the cheese blasts are a bit... odd.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#dairy king#dairy Prince au#okay but just imagine weird dairy based powers he could have#dp crack#or probably crack#it’s entirely possible to treat this seriously#but it’s kind of goofy#so why would you?#granted if anyone manages to make me cry with something based on this you are a god#danny phantom prompt
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Brainrot and possibly crack-ish thought that I spent too much time thinking about: The Forge of Solus works a bit too well, and now everyone who has been a Prime has been revived. The Fallen, who through some miracle, also ends up on Earth and dragged into family shenanigans. In short, pure chaos with all the Primes.
Heck yeah, this could go a thousand and one ways and I could even make it angsty if I try. I love this.
━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙
Optimus had not expected to be saved. He was dying and he had largely accepted that fact as the Allspark welcomed him. However when the Forge of Solus Prime repaired him, he felt something else be dragged along back to his fallen form along with him. He was not sure what it was when he woke in his new frame, but something felt... off. He did not question when he flew to Darkmount and collected his team after driving his foe back, but once his team was settled in Hanger E, he was absolutely certain there was something wrong. Ratchet already wanted to do a scan on Optimus after his near death, but when the Prime came to him in minor terror, the medic all but tripped over himself to get scans completed.
The team ended up gathering around to watch as Optimus had his scans taken, and they were all shocked and in awe at what they saw.
Within Optimus's spark chamber were fifteen small sparks, each fluttering around Optimus's lovingly. They were tiny, still developing, and yet had none of the unsettled energy of sparks in need of a host. It was... unsettling for Optimus, largely because he never felt any spark ignite within him, nor had he taken on the role of surrogate for a mech waiting on a frame to inhabit. He knew the Matrix had creation capabilities, but he had not at all expected it to be so extreme. Ratchet chalked it up to the Forge possibly causing the Matrix to use some of its power to ignite newsparks, but deep down Ratchet, Optimus, and the rest of the team did not believe that at all. Sparks do not come from nothing, nor do they come from a frame transfer totally stable. The newsparks within Optimus were far too controlled and powerful to be the result of the Matrix, at least in theory.
There was brief discussion of extinguishing the newsparks, but that idea was shut down the moment Optimus registered familiarity amongst the lives that orbited his own. He did not understand entirely, but they felt like family. And so the Prime opted to keep them, but to the dismay of Ratchet and the combined confliction of the team. Ultra Magnus was ready to accept the young without a moment's hesitation. Their people were lacking in numbers as it was, they needed every life they could to ensure their kind did not join countless others in extinction. Arcee, Bulkhead, and Wheeljack were largely neutral, if a little worried about getting enough energon for fifteen new lives. Smokescreen and Bumblebee were elated at the prospect, if concerned over taking care of more young bots in such a dangerous situation. Ratchet refused to state his opinion and focused on making sure Optimus got enough energon to support himself and his charges.
Things went well enough for a few months after the matter. The children were not alerted to Optimus's state and only commented on the situation when they noticed the team taking more hits for the Prime than usual. But with time, the newsparks grew more demanding and needed frames. In turn, since there were no protoforms to be collected, Optimus needed more energon to prepare to make protoforms himself.
That was when things got tight. Optimus needed more, regardless of his stance on the matter. The team needed to find more energon for him and continue the fight. Rations grew smaller and Optimus grew more and more agitated with receiving greater quantities. Just as things were reaching a breaking point however, something unusual happened. Optimus grew mad with the team for their offering of more energon. He could see that they were tired and he knew the limits of his frame. He could go a few cycles without, especially with how strong the newsparks were. There was debate and anger over the situation, leading an argument that ultimately ended with Optimus emitting an EM field flare that synced up with a pulse from his spark. It didn't seem to do anything at first. The team were startled, but that was all.
Then, two weeks after the fact, an object of Cybertronian origin came careening into Earth's atmosphere, landing in the middle of Alaska of all places. The team quickly hurried to investigate and were promptly met by a mech who towered over all of them, even gaining a solid head on Optimus when he came through. Covered in black and red accented plating, the mech wielded a deadly looking blaster and vaguely reminded the team of Megatron. He bore no factional marks, he carried no sign of any allegiance, but after a while of standing and staring, the mech spoke.
"Thirteen, I sensed your distress... along with the calls of our kin. Where are Solus and the others? I know they are near."
It took a long klik for Optimus to figure it out while the team reeled, but once it settled, he almost choked in pure shock. Megatronus, the Fallen Prime stood before him and evidently believed that Optimus somehow had the other original Primes with him. There was a great deal to unpack in his singular statement, but Optimus did not deny the Fallen access to Hangar E to explain. The team were given to explanation as to who the Fallen was and were only given the name of Megatronus to work with. But it did not take long for things to make sense as the Fallen Prime spoke with the current Matrix bearer.
"You carry them within you? Fifteen sparks... it should not be possible."
"And yet it is. I did not know they were Primes, but they felt familiar."
"They will need frames, and you do not have enough energon to produce them."
"Yes, but we are doing what we can-"
"You require protomatter and energon. There is no need to play with words Thirteen."
"Then you are correct."
"I will get you what is required for their survival. In turn, I wish to play a part in Solus's development in order to... make up for my prior mistakes."
"..."
"..."
"That is acceptable."
Confusion radiated from all of the Autobots as the Fallen nodded like nothing happened and promptly fragged off again, not to be seen for another three months while Optimus patiently waited and explained exactly nothing. But of course, not being fools the team started to put things together. Ultra Magnus worked with Bulkhead to create a conspiracy board while the rest of the team collectively tried to not think about the deeper implications of Optimus being called 'Thirteen' and supposedly 'carrying all of them within himself'. So when the Fallen returned with stupid amounts of energon and surprisingly healthy amounts of protomatter, the team opted to not look a gift horse in the mouth, especially considering Optimus seemed calm.
The team shut up and watched as soon enough, Optimus had his fill of energon, received protomatter injections, and within two additional weeks, vanished into his room and did not emerge. The team hovered around nervously for days on end while the Fallen watched human TV shows without a care in the world. It went on for about a week, with Ratchet nearly busting down the door in fear for his leader before Optimus quietly stepped out of his room with plenty of small sparklings in his arms and on his frame.
Ratchet: Optimus, what are those?
Optimus: These are my sparklings. Nominus, Nova, Guardian, Sentinel, Solus, Prima, Quintus, Vector, Micronus, Amalgemous, Nexus, Alchemist, Onyx, Alpha Trion, and Liege Maximo.
Arcee: Sir with all due respect, what the absolute frag-?!
Megatronus: Finally. Now let me see the reincarnation of my beloved.
Fifteen small sparklings, each looking startlingly similar to their namesakes all clung to Optimus as if he were a jungle gym. the Prime simply smiled with all the patience in the world and offered up the one who carried Solus's name with a happy sound. Fifteen sparklings, fifteen sparklings who looked like fallen Primes of times long gone by.
There was no way this was going to end well.
#transformers#maccadam#transformers prime#optimus prime#team prime#megatronus prime#the thirteen primes#nah I aint tagging all of them#transformers sparklings#crack idea#this was just a goofy thought but I enjoyed the prompt#fifteen demigods wandering around causing chaos#yup I am here for it
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Big fan of any time Mulcahy plays along with a bit or makes a joke of his own and Hawkeye is just so delighted and will full-bodied laugh about it. It’s the sweetest thing I love their dynamic so much.
#mash#rewatching Life With Father again bc im obsessed with Trapper and Hawkeye in this episode and it happens within the first like 5 minutes#also thinking of in Crisis when Hawkeye makes some crack at the end of Mulcahy’s prayer and Mulcahys just recites that lil jokey prayer.#hawk’s reaction is pretty golden then too.#also deluge “I worked my way through divinity school as a B girl in San Diego”#he can be so silly goofy and hawkeye loves when ppl go along with his bits and are silly goofy with him.#I dont personally ship them together but I can understand where that comes from#hawkeye pierce#father mulcahy#nia originals#best of
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Spy/Team Leader whumpee shrinks themselves for a high-stakes intelligence mission, but something goes wrong and they get caught
- Normally they give their enemies a hell of a fight, but now all it takes to restrain them is the weight of a hand, or even a single finger, and it's frustrating
- Whumper has to build a doll-sized interrogation set. While they feel ridiculous, it's worth it to watch their enemy struggle
- Needles instead of knives, a glass of water instead of a tank, a breadboard and a battery instead of expensive electrocution equipment... maybe whumper should invest in a shrink ray
- Not to mention the dramatic difference in size and strength. Where whumpee would normally be full of insults and banter, they seem a little too scared of being crushed to say anything too dramatic
- Whumpee is freed by a stranger, but still unable to get to their normal size until they reach their base. Despite being rescued, they still don't feel safe
#it came to me in a dream#and its a little goofy#but still the concept of being strong enough to fight and then suddenly not even being strong (or big) enough to break free of a string?#yes#whumper just uses the miniature mockup interrogation kit that interrogation equipment conpanies send out as advertisements#'what is this a torture kit for ants' nope its for Tiny Spy#crack whump#sorta#whump prompt#g/t#g/t whump#tiny whump#spy whump
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i remember seeing an interview with nate where he was talking about the creative process. and he said that whenever he needed a scene to be more comedic, he would just ask bow's VA to add in a voice crack while recording his lines. which shows us how much effort they put into writing good comedy (or heck, good anything) for the show.
#like„ voice cracks or like vocal quirks are funny when used in moderation#but if every scene with bow is just vOiCe cRaCkS it's like„ okay? he's a teenager so his voice cracks#it's not the comedic genius that the writers think it is#i get it„ writing comedy is actually really hard#what you find funny isn't necessarily what others find funny#but the fact that spop's humor is either “ooo goofy voice crack” or just slapstick comedy#says a lot about them#spop critical#spop#spop salt#spop criticism#spop discourse#she ra#anti spop
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Currently vibing inside a dryer, ass out. it's times like these where I wish Senku could get me out😳👉🏽👈🏽 or something👀
As hot as this concept can be, anytime I think of this my cleithrophobia starts acting up and all I could think about was reader being trapped in the dryer. So, here’s some crack in response:
Tw: slight ooc Senkuu, slight adult themes near the end, very very crack fic vibes, there is ass slapping, depiction of cleithrophobia but reader isn’t like full blown huge reaction, just a bit of worrying (they a little too calm tbh), attempted to keep it gender neutral but there may be some accidental gendered language and I apologize for that, no beta at all whoops
Dryer Ass (Ishigami Senkuu x Reader):
"How did you even manage to get stuck in there like that?" You can feel the teasing in Senkuu's tone as he stands over the dryer. It managed to both reassure you and stress you out, a small part of you hoping he’d be kind enough to end your suffering sooner rather than later. The circular interior of the dryer was cramped enough as is, but it seemed to only get smaller the longer you remained trapped in there.
"J-Just get me out of here! You can judge my poor life choices later" Your breathing had remained pretty maintained before you finally caved and called Senkuu to help you out. Sure, your ass was hanging out and your back was uncomfortably arched with the position you were in (only because you attempted to escape on your own prior and couldn't get anything past your backside out without scraping your skin enough to bleed), but that flew over your head when your worry was more focused on getting out. You really should’ve just gone head first so you wouldn’t be reminded of the small area surrounding your body, but it’s too late to worry about the ‘should’ve’ now...
You begin wiggling your body again in an attempt to push yourself out of the hole, yet you only manage the upper half of your thighs before the rigid inner parts of the circular entrance painfully scrape your skin and draw a small yelp from your throat. Senkuu sighs through his nose after the failed attempt, his hands carefully gripping your thighs and slowly guiding them out of the hole better.
“(Y/n), I'm going to get you out. Just trust me,” He reassures, his thumbs softly rubbing over your skin before he pulls them out some more. With enough coaxing, he’s able to get your legs out with little to no further harm to your skin. He’s gentle towards the few bruises you do have from the endeavor, carefully counting them for later note.
It’s almost unbelievable how easily he manages to get your lower body out. Then again, you literally watched him achieve impossible things in a high school science lab. You’d call him magic if he weren’t so insistent on showing the science process.
“Thanks, leek boy, I appreciate it,” You happily state as you push your upper body from the appliance.
Just as your head passes the entrance, back slightly arched so you don’t scrape your upper body, a hand gives your ass a firm smack and causes the fat to obscenely react with a jiggle. The owner of the chuckle that follows the movement isn’t shy in hiding his amusement, his hands moving to softly grip your hips and help you maneuver out of the dryer like he didn’t just happily slap your ass. His tone is coy with a hint of playfulness tugging at it, “Keep backing up, dragon fruit. I gotcha covered~”
Your face warms as you finally remove yourself from your predicament, your lower area bumping into his crotch a few times throughout the process. If anyone had walked in at the wrong moment, it could’ve looked like something else entirely. Even now, the looks on your faces could imply the two of you were up to something a little less wholesome than Senkuu freeing you from a dryer.
“I’m getting my lick back,” You state as the two of you move away from the accursed dryer and to a more safe area. You puff your chest out a little, a confident air to you as your arm hooks with his own.
“As if you’d get the chance,” He responds testingly, a look settling in his crimson eyes as the right side of his lip curls upwards.
….
“We should probably put a sign up about the dryer being broken…”
“…Yeah…”
#ishigami senkuu#ishigami senku x reader#ishigami senkuu x reader#senku ishigami x reader#ishigami senku#senku ishigami#if you see it spelled senku or senkuu just ignore it 🫶🏾#senkuu ishigami#crack fic#I will say I was going to make this a big really serious piece where reader full blown panics and makes her cleithrophobia worse#but then I thought it’d be better to make it goofy instead of focusing on my fear and dread of being trapped 🫶🏾#also I like this a little more#ik for a fact who rq this and it took me like a few years to finally answer it 🤭#my friends love me sm guys I promise#also sorry it seems it was gonna have substance and then it just doesn’t ✌🏾 Twas going through a phase 😘#these tags are so unserious ily#maybe I’ll come back and go in-depth about the dread of feeling trapped in a the worse hurt hurt comfort piece I’ve ever made
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fuck it friday ✨
hi friends, sorry for being so late work was ass and i was wet from the rain all day and apparently i'm more exhausted than i thought i was 😪 tomorrow will be better tho i'm manifesting that shit
have a lil sleepy silly buddie cuddles from eddie vs the hoa
“What are you doing up? It’s late.”
“Went to piss. Your door was shut.”
“You didn’t have to come find me.”
Buck shrugs. “I was worried,” he says, simply.
Eddie’s heart flutters, just a little bit, and he snuggles even further into Buck’s heat, wondering if this is how moths feel when they seek out light. “I was doing research.”
“That’s my thing.”
“I can know stuff, too,” he says, pinching the inside of Buck’s wrist where it rests on his knee. His hands are so big, only a little smaller than Eddie’s. “I have to pay dues by next Friday.”
Buck hums. “Want me to go with you?” he asks, reaching up to run his fingers through Eddie’s hair. Eddie melts, the tightness in his shoulders disappearing as if it were never there at all, and slouches further against Buck’s side.
“She does like you better than me.”
Buck’s chuckles shake Eddie’s whole body. “Everybody does.” He brushes a tangle out of Eddie’s hair. “Come back to bed.”
Eddie’s lashes flitter, but he keeps them closed. “I don’t know if I can sleep,” he says, whisper-soft. He’s tired, achy; sleep weighs thick in his bones, but he’s too wound to rest. “My brain won’t turn off.”
Humming, Buck rests his cheek on top Eddie’s head and leans back against the couch, bringing Eddie with him. “That’s okay,” he says, turning his head just enough to huff his stinky yawn right in Eddie’s face. Eddie’s so exhausted he can’t even muster any irritation. “I’ll sit with you till you can.”
btw i was tagged by @shitouttabuck, @watchyourbuck, @hippolotamus, @giddyupbuck, @fortheloveofbuddie, @try-set-me-on-fire, @ladydorian05, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @folk-fae, @wildlife4life, @exhuastedpigeon, @jeeyuns, @daffi-990, @wikiangela, and @disasterbuckdiaz <3
only tagging @eddiediaztho because this is for her mwah
#can you believe eddie STILL doesn't know he's in love with buck#he's up at the ass crack of dawn researching the hoa and then buck comes to find him and they snuggle and eddie's suddenly#able to sleep? turn his brain off? feel safe and comfy enough to just relax?#you're in love you dumb bitch#anyway i love eddie he's a silly goofy babygirl#tag games
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not to be deranged today but
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 3#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza 3#yakuza like a dragon#yoshitaka mine#daigo dojima#ryo aoki#snap sketches#im not going to even act like they have a proper ship name and i aint gonna think of one i aint drawin them ever again <-- probably lying#if i ever thought id draw a comic that had these three in it then like. idk i prob wouldve cried#anyways no this is my favorite crack pairing just cause its so goofy in theory#two emos get together until Probably Daigo breaks it off and now masato's Officially gone off the deep end thats it#eveyrones going under he's going to have the most petty ten-year plan imaginable#unfortunately it backfires so !!!! choke !!!#ive been feeling funnky bout my art lately so the fact ive managed to force this out is great. gg me we did something ig#something incredibly niche but SOMETHING ik i got the besties cackling at this so im happy
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and now for something completely different. gun to my head I have to pick just one person from mad men to have sex with I would choose Henry
#i feel like there is risk he would be boring BUT I actually think he reads as as like. quietly intense about it#most of the other men just seem goofy to me idk#don is an obvious answer but I think probably not all it's cracked up to be#also yes we already talked about this in 2016/17#also I'm straight so like. other obvious answers may not apply
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i want lucifer to call mc while dia and barb are in the same room as him, but he doesn't tell mc that. the call is quick, and mc ends it with something cute like "can't wait to see you at home, sweetheart!" and lucifer just fucking dies bc now dia and barb know he gets called pet names
Diavolo will bring it up whenever he can just to embarrass Luci a bit jsksjsk
Barbatos simply coughs chuckles and acts like he didn’t hear it, only to tease Lucifer later.
Oooh!!!!!! Just imagine Barbatos serving Lucifer and Diavolo tea ‘n saying “I hope you do enjoy this blend, sweetheart.” Lucifer’s face has never been redder and Diavolo chokes laughs into his own cup of tea-
#anon!#just a bit of bullying between friends 🤭#obey me!#obey me#om!#obmswd#obey me lucifer x mc#obey me lucifer#obey me barbatos#obey me diavolo#obey me shenanigans#obey me goofy#obey me fluff / crack#ro rambles#obey me crack shit#obey me crack
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Giant Sloth DP x DC
Due to clockwork shenanigans, Danny ends up with a pair of Megatherium Americanum aka the extinct ground sloth. Between this and his species saving discovery of the last female purpleback gorilla, he ends up on Damien Wayne’s radar for his conservation efforts. Unfortunately for Danny, “rediscovering” a previously extinct species of giant sloths is a lot harder to explain away, especially with Bats involved
#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc#detective comics#giant sloth#writing prompt#writing#dp crack#clockwork#i'm just being goofy with this one#i'm constantly disappointed that ground sloths are extinct
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Tom Riddle - Animagus
He had researched for months upon months, taking in every bit of information he could from every book he could find, even risking stealing a mandrake leaf from one of the herbology green houses and sealing it to the roof of his mouth for the month required, and every day, twice a day, he spoke the spell required to even begin the slow transformation to become an Animagus 'Amato Animo Animato Animagus'
and when the potion to officially transform him was ready, upon the first lightning storm after the month he had the putrid mandrake leaf in his mouth-he went up to his dorm and took a deep breath, and then took the potion.
it was painful and it felt like he was burning from the inside out, lava pouring from every crevice of his body as his skin and bones changed to what he had meditated for his Animagus form to be.
He expected a serpent of some kind, or hopefully some sort of reptile, worthy of being his Animagus form.
But as he felt his transformation complete, and he shifted around, he didn't feel scales and no legs with a long tail for a body-no, instead, he had four big paws, fluffy fur, and a snout...
He snapped his eyes open, a grumbling whine coming from him as he looked in the mirror.
He was a fucking dog. A big fluffy dog with brown and black fluffy fur and two pointed ears, with a big fluffy tail.
What kinda sick joke was this?! months and months of planning and research and pain staking waiting, for him to end up as a fucking DOG?!
Tom let out grumbly whines and barks, unable to contain his frustration, leading him to rip up one of the books he had gotten from the library about Animagus and then also his pillows, and his blankets, and even his scarf.
Tom sat pissed in the midst of his dorm, fluff from his pillows and paper everywhere, glaring down at his two big fluffy goofy ass paws. Why a dog? Hell, why a german shepherd? He could've been something scary like a Doberman or a cane corso or even a Belgian shepherd! but noooo he had to be a big goofy fluffy (adorable) german shepherd.
And there were no take backs or no overs, he was stuck with this form.
Great. Just great.
#tom riddle imagine#tom riddle#crack#idk i felt like it#i feel like he would have a dog animagus and hed be SO PISSED#like I WANTED A SNAKE NOT A FUCKING GOOFY DOG#will this continue? i dont know~#i just felt like writing Tom becoming an animagus and just-getting a really fluffy shepherd instead of a snake like he wanted#Shepherds are some of hte most goofy ah dramatic mfs in the world#he's goofy now he has no choice
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My wife and I discussing how cute it is that Karlach is grossed out at the idea of touching things, bad smells, etc. Lae'zel and Shadowheart both seem less grossed out. It's endearing because you know she saw some shit in the hells.
Now she's helped give me the idea that Karlach would be that person who panics because something touched her while swimming in murky water....
Wife: It was Lae'zel.
Me: ohmygod her poking just her little nose out of the water to breathe and you'd barely be able to see it from a distance.
Wife: but her ears would poke out of the water and a bit of her head, like a shark's fin.
Me: STOP GIVING ME IDEAS.
#We have a problem. Tadpole brain worm problems.#Lae'zel#Karlach#Baldur's Gate#Baldur's Gate 3#BG3#Baldur's Gate Crack#I can't unsee her as looking like a goofy ass sand boa with just her gremlin eyes peering out from the water and her nose peeking out
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