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linghxr · 5 months

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My 2023 in Mandopop/Chinese music (update & recs)

It’s been too long since I last shared some music recommendations/updates on what I’m listening to! Admittedly, I haven’t been discovering as many new artists because I’m busy listening to 薛之谦 on repeat. But we'll focus on the new.

You can check out my Spotify playlist featuring these songs (plus bonus ones). In addition, I’ve included YouTube links below.

五月天 / Mayday 五月天 is a legendary band, so of course I knew of them and had heard a few of their songs over the years. But I never proactively sought out their music until recently. I still haven’t had time to dive into their back catalog, but I’ve already found some songs I really love.

《我又初恋了》 I actually really didn’t like this song the first time I heard it, but it wormed its way into my brain. It’s just a lot of fun! Non-serious songs can be good too.

《转眼》 My favorite 五月天 song <3. I’m probably too young to fully appreciate the lyrics, but they make me feel so nostalgic and bittersweet, like transitioning to a new chapter of life and leaving the old behind.

《因为你所以我》 This song didn’t stand out to me at first, but it grew on me! I caught myself humming it a lot. It‘s kind of corny, but it sounds so full of hope.

陈奕迅 / Eason Chan I first started listening to 陈奕迅 a couple years ago after my Album a Day August challenge, but I’ve found that his music has grown on me over time. I believe I’ve only mentioned him once before, so I thought now was a good time to highlight my favorite of his songs.

《之外》 This is probably my favorite 陈奕迅 song. The lyrics convey a sense of hopelessness, but the overall song has a smooth, light sound.

《娱乐天空》 You know a song is good when it’s over 6 minutes long but feels like it flies by! It makes me want to get up, get moving, and be productive.

《烟味》 This song is dramatic, and I love it for that. Also has a hint of orchestral flavor.

《淘汰》 One of 陈奕迅’s most well-known songs—for a good reason. It has big Cpop ballad vibes but is definitely livelier.

白举纲 / Bai Jugang You’re going to notice several mentions of 披荆斩棘 in this post. That’s where I “met” 白举纲. I instantly liked his voice and loved seeing him with his “brother” 高瀚宇 and “dad” 张晋! You may also see his music under his English name, Pax Congo.

《被动失控》 This is the only song on the list you could headbang to.

《Shy Boy》 I love this song because it’s cute and includes a children’s rhyme that I learned as a kid: 找啊找啊找朋友找到一个好朋友.

苏诗丁 / Su Shiding At some point last year I did a one-month free trial of Apple Music. It was an interesting experience because the recommendations were very different from what Spotify tends to show me. I’m glad Apple Music led me to 苏诗丁!

《LUCIFER（傲慢宗罪）》 All I can say is that this song exudes coolness and confidence. It also has a fair bit of English, but honestly I had to look up the lyrics to tell what some of it was.

《梦幻病》 This song is from the same album. It’s dreamlike but gets more frantic as it builds. Overall, it’s just a bit…unsettling.

队长 / Young Captain I learned about 队长 from a random post on Instagram about his concert in Malaysia. I think these songs might have gone viral on 抖音 or something. I was surprised I liked them so much because they both have some rap (I’m not a rap fan), but it was love at first listen.

《11》 I love how this song builds towards the end. I spend the whole song waiting for the crescendo, and it’s great payoff.

《楼顶上的小斑鸠》 This song is like the slightly mellower sibling of the one above. But I ended up liking this one even more.

金志文 / Jin Zhiwen 金志文 was another artist who Apple Music recommended to me. I definitely need to explore his discography more but haven’t had the chance to do so yet. But he has some good stuff so far!

《自娱自乐》 Smooth and relaxing but in a fun way. Simple and no-frills but will put a smile on your face!

《远走高飞》 This one feels like enjoying the breeze on a beautiful sunny day. I also enjoy the duet with 徐佳莹 version.

163braces 163braces started out as a YouTuber posting song covers. I have watched a couple of her covers, but they didn’t leave much of an impression on me. I was pleasantly surprised by her foray into original music. I look forward to hearing what she does next!

《控制》 The song I would want as my “soundtrack” if I were a video game character. It’s energetic and loud.

《murmur》 Honestly this song is pretty similar to the first one. Sometimes I have trouble distinguishing them. But hey, if ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

小鬼 / Lil Ghost 小鬼 did what I can best describe as “pulling an MGK” by going from more rap to kinda pop-punk? That MGK album was my guilty pleasure when in came out, so I’m all for 小鬼’s new direction.

《Last Day》 This song really gave me MGK vibes. It’s about half in English, but I often don't even notice when he switches between languages.

《不良少年》 I just know I would have loved this song so much in high school. It’s an angsty teen anthem.

《为明天写封信》 I can totally imagine this song playing at the end of a 2000s teen movie! Maybe while showing a montage of the main characters graduating.

《无所求必满载而归》 by 陈粒 / Chen Li This is technically cheating because I have recommended 陈粒 songs before, but it was at least a couple years ago. I heard this song covered on 披荆斩棘的哥哥 and immediately looked up the original. Honestly I should have known it was a 陈粒 song because you can totally tell it’s her style.

《轻红》 by 曹杨 / Young I keep coming back to this song! It’s from a drama soundtrack. I was super surprised the first time I listened to it because I thought it was going to be a typical ballad based on the first ~45 seconds or so—it wasn’t. There is also another version by 陈雪燃 (the king of cdrama OSTs). But I actually prefer the 曹杨 version.

《时光机》 by 吴克群 / Kenji Wu I was introduced to 吴克群 via 披荆斩棘2. He was instantly one of my favorite contestants after his team’s amazing 《新地球》 performance (check it out). This song is bouncy and a little dreamy. I kinda want to hear a remix with Harry Styles’ As It Was. I just wish it were longer than 3 minutes!

My Spotify Wrapped

I have a tradition of sharing my Spotify Wrapped, and I wanted to continue the streak in some form. So here's a quick rundown.

Top genre: 华语流行音乐 Representative city: Taipei Minutes: 21,750

Top artists

薛之谦 / Xue Zhiqian

林宥嘉 / Yoga Lin

五月天 / Mayday

李荣浩 / Li Ronghao

陈奕迅 / Eason Chan

Top songs

《木偶人》 - 薛之谦

《狐狸》 - 薛之谦

《骆驼》 - 薛之谦

《转眼》 - 五月天

《后来的我们》 - 五月天

Also, fellow Mandopop fans should check out the Mando Gap newsletter. I stumbled upon it this year, and I know it’s going to be a great resource for discovering new artists in 2024!

#chinese music recs #cpop #c-pop #c pop #mandopop #chinese music #chinese #mandarin #mandarin chinese #chinese language #studyblr #langblr #learning languages #language learning #chinese langblr #mandarin langblr #languageblr

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found-wings · 8 months

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I can‘t quite explain it, but I have some thoughts I want to share and want to so badly hear others opinions on it, too :

In which Duos / Groups do you think qPhil is the Sun to someones Moon?

It feels like such a silly question WHEEZE but it intrigues me, because I feel like there’s barely any people where Phil is actually the Sun.

With Emerald Duo as an example, I imagine that Phil here is most often the Sun to Technos Moon ( albeit their dynamic allows both things easily - they are each others guarding Stars, even ). It just feels right, it makes sense for me, y‘know? I adore the idea of how strong their bond is, Phil being the light that Techno cannot live without anymore - he can only shine with the light that Phil has given him and in return, he‘d give him the world and hang up the stars to see in the sky & don‘t even get me started on how willingly Phil would sacrifice his own light if it meant Techno could shine. I‘d imagine that after leaving the Antarctic Empire, Phil has „lost“ the light to be someone elses Sun again.

However with most other Duos or Groups I cannot imagine Phil being the Sun - while Phil is most often a light of hope that cannot be easily taken away, it‘s just not the same.

Take Death Duo, as an example. For the longest time even with Missa being away, Phil had held onto the hope of Missa keeping his word to return and thus Phil kept doing things not just for himself, Chayanne and later on Tallulah, but also for Missa in mind. He never said „Let’s warp to mine“ or „Warp to Phils House“, it was always „Phil and Missas“. The more time Missa was away from him, the more his own glow faded. With Missa returning, his ever so faded shine started blooming again and he was glowing. Missa is the Sun to Phils Moon. Phil sees the sunlight of him and holds onto the hope of Missas return every time. While sure, Phil does a lot to protect Missa and help him in getting everything together, I just can‘t imagine Missa as the Moon.

With a few Duos I‘m uncertain of - I could see that the Codebreakers would be a Duo that could match each other’s energy heavily but I‘d still insist that Phil would most likely be the Moon here. Etoiles is the Sun that is shown as the bright light of hope to fight and win against the Code Monsters, that the Eggs can be safe from them. Phil glows with Etoiles‘ light and trusts him in any combat situation.

Alternatively instead of being the Sun and Moon here, I could easily see Phil and Etoiles being the Stars to everyone else too, it just feels right.

Alright that‘ll be all about this part of rambling for now WHEEZE

#qsmp philza #emerald duo #death duo #codebreaker duo #Winged.Rambles

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docresa · 4 months

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Resa‘s Residency Adventures - 12 Months Update

It‘s official - I made it through PGY-1!!!

This is completely crazy, I have absolutely zero idea where all this time went.

It’s been a wild ride for sure - mostly in the best sense.

Yupp, the first 2 or 3 months were rough. But somehow, I made it from baby doctor to decently functioning resident.

I never thought I could handle the kind of situations that I have. Obviously there‘s still a long way to go, but every day challenges me and makes me grow into a better doctor.

I have done 56 call shifts and more than 109 operations, which - again - is completely crazy. And some of those were far beyond of what I ever dreamed of operating as a PGY-1.

I had no idea how much I could learn and grow in one year, and that gives me a lot of hope, that in another 5 years, I might become a somewhat decent attending.

For now, PGY-2 will be centered around my 7 month ICU rotation, which obviously triggers surgical FOMO because I won’t operate, but also I always loved the ICU as a student and I’m certain it’ll make me a better doctor.

So yeah, cheers to PGY-2!

#resa‘s residency adventures #surgery #medblr #resa does residency #residency

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beep-beep-robin · 2 months

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very much here for the bi buck speculations, i would love it if they went down that road even without buddie happening. it‘d be such a good opportunity to illustrate how sometimes people can go a long time without truly figuring out big parts of themselves, like their sexuality, and how liberating it can feel to finally arrive at that point. how finally, everything makes a bit more sense.

we‘ve followed buck for so long, and him figuring out he‘s bi would of course mean he‘s always been bi (even if it maybe wasn‘t written as such at the time) - and i could cry at that thought. it‘d slap people who still have those typical stereotypes ingrained in their brains in the face, because guys! no sexuality has a specific look! what a shocker! here‘s this big beefy stereotypical jock and he‘s bi! wow!

(don‘t come at me with „oh but everyone knows that by now“ - no, no they don‘t. they really don‘t, even if it‘s not coming from malicious intent, but these stereotypes - gay men are feminine, lesbians are masculine - bi people? who knows what those are - are still out there and i‘ve talked to enough people with those beliefs to give you my word on that)

bi representation on such a big show would mean so much.

but! i‘m trying to not get my hopes up too much, because i feel like everything that we‘ve heard so far it could also be going the route of - buck has a lot of self worth issues and he‘s projecting that onto tommy and eddie because any slight threat to their friendship immediately makes him spiral? (speaking from my own experience here lol) but that‘s just my two cents.

*starts prayer circle for canon bi buck*

#911 #911 fox #911 abc #911 spoilers #evan buckley #evan buck buckley #buddie #911 theory #911 on fox #911 on abc #9-1-1 #9-1-1 abc #9-1-1 fox #eddie diaz #tommy kinard #bi buck #bi evan buckley #original post

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x-0ophelia0-x · 7 months

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Could you write something about rebels era Ezra taking care of a sick reader on the ghost?? Maybe he chooses to stay behind to watch after her, bring her water and snacks, and wrap her in warm blankets when she gets the chills? I’m currently sick in bed with the flu and this would def cheer me up! I also hope your exams go well!

thank you so much! I have a feeling that they went well :D

Also, I hope that you‘re feeling better now 🫶🏻

Your perfect caretaker.

pairing: Fem!Reader x Ezra Bridger

warnings: none! word count: 1,5k

summary: You learnt your lesson the hard way. Now you were sick. A special someone decides to take care of you, bringing you the joy you needed since your day started off with a strong headache.

authors note: Another Ezra x Reader story! I hope you like it!! Feels so good to be back again 😭 I hope that my grammar here makes sense bc this was written after midnight 💀

enjoyyy <3

How did it come to this point?

Okay well… you knew how since it was somehow… basically… your own fault but still. Why?!

It all started with a mission on a icy planet, and you knew that it was going to be cold there. However, ignoring your crews warnings, you decided to not take the old coat Hera was offering to you. You didn’t find yours and you sure as hell wouldn’t wear that old thing… no. It smelled nasty because the last time someone wore it was when the same thing had happened to Zeb.

And this smell of his just wouldn’t let itself be eradicated from this coat.

You did what you thought was the best for your nose and since you wouldn’t stay outside for too long you just went out without it.

Which was a mistake, a huge one.

Now you‘re lying on your bed, your head throbbing, feeling kind of lightheaded and your throat felt like as if it‘d burst any second.

You were sick.

The others didn’t know it yet. The mission was yesterday and the symptoms appeared when you woke up. Or they woke you up. You were burning up, that fever sure had it‘s effect on you.

There was one problem though. You had a mission today and you couldn’t let this pass. Ignoring your body’s signals to stay in your bed, you stood up, instantly regretting it as everything started to turn black from the sudden movement.

Your nearby desk was your source of balance as you reached out for it to not fall down. You underestimated your condition by a lot, there’s no way that you’d be able to fulfill the mission while you couldn’t even keep your balance while you stood.

A sudden knock on your cabin door threw you off of your thoughts, accompanied by Heras voice.

„y/n? Are you alright? Did you oversleep?“

Oversleep?

Wait… which time is it anyway??

You looked at your clock and realized that you indeed overslept.. well…. no wonder.

„Sorry! I ove-“

The answer was cut short when your dry throat started it’s Protest. It didn’t only hurt but it was also itchy as hell, the coughing that took over your response was louder than Zeb‘s snoring.

„y/n? I‘ll come in!“

With a familiar sound the door flung open, revealing Heras worried face.

„Oh.. you‘re so pale“

Her mother instincts kicked in and she couldn’t just stand by and watch.

She quickly grabbed a bottle of water to give it to you so that you could somehow ease the itchiness of your throat.

„Seems like you‘re sick.. should‘ve worn that coat from yesterday huh?“

There was a quiet chuckle following after this.

„Seems like it.. thanks for the water“

Hera made her way closer to you, holding you by your shoulders as she moved you back to your bed.

Her touch was gentle as she laid you down, placing her hand on your temple.

„What are you doing?“

Talking did hurt but it didn’t matter.. did she forget about the mission?

„What I am doing? The question is what the hell you were doing? You‘re burning up, you need to rest“

Just when you wanted to, for once again, push your body to it‘s limits, you heard another knock on your door. Followed by a voice.

„Hey uhm.. I was passing by and.. may have heard one or two things..“

It was Ezra and he sounded worried.

„Your timing couldn’t be better.. y/n is sick and I need you to help me to find someone to look after her while we‘re on the mission“

„Hera please you do-“

„I can do it“

Ezra responded almost immediately.

„Ezra.. you’re supposed to fly with us“

„y/n too.. I won’t let her alone, especially not like this“

This kind of warmed up your heart, he‘s been through a lot already.. seeing him wanting to stay behind just to make sure that you‘re alright hit a spot.

And Hera had a proud mother moment, how could she say no to his offer?

„Alright then.. call us if something happens“

„Ai Captain“

Hera left your cabin, leaving you and Ezra alone.

He walked closer to you, also placing his hand on your temple to check your temperature.

„Karabast.. you‘re hotter then ever“

This made you chuckle, Ezra knew how to light your mood up and he definitely knew how to let you forget about your headache, even if it‘s just for a small moment.

„I‘ll take this as an compliment sir“

„Sir? How bad is the fever?“

„ Ha Ha“

Moments like this.. they were everything.

However, your fever was still there and it‘s effects got worser after each passing moment.

„Ezra.. could you bring me the medication please.. my head.. my throat…it‘s killing me“

The blue haired spaceboy nodded before he left your cabin to return a few minutes later.

He didn’t only bring the medicine you asked him for. There was much more.

A thick and surely warm blanket, some wet towel, water and snacks were among the medicine.

„Ezra….“

„No no no, less talking, more resting“

He placed the medicine on your desk as he took out a spoon to let the drops fall on it. After he had dropped enough, he took the wet towel with bis other hand and walked to your side.

„Please make aaaa“

His expression while saying it was priceless, you did as he said and opened your mouth for him to move the spoon inside, helping you to take the medicine in.

Ezra moved the spoon out when he saw you swallow the not so tasty liquid, placing the spoon somewhere next to your bed while he took the towel out.

„You should feel better anytime soon… however.. this should help you for the meantime“

He carefully placed the towel on your temple, it’s coolness immediately showing some kind of effects against the heat and the headache.

„Did you eat something?“

„No.. I overslept“

„Hmm okay.. seems like the patient‘s hungry“

„Patient?“

He nodded.

„Since when are you a doctor?“

„Since today, you know.. doctor Bridger has to help his friend“

„I‘m feeling honored“

„As you should“

It is hard to describe but when you woke up.. you felt like shit. Like literally.

The only thing you could focus on was your discomfort, nothing else.

Ezra barely came in and your mood already became way better compared to how it was earlier.

Speaking of him, he took out some snacks and held them up.

„Which one would you like for now?“

Your morning continued exactly like this. Ezra made sure that you laid comfortable in your bed while he sat down to keep an eye on you.

The medication helped but it didn’t help you against the cold.

Of corse you had to also get the chills..

Your trembling body caught Ezra‘s attention. He stood up and grabbed the thick blanket, he made his way back to you and put it carefully over your body.

„Here.. let me help you“

You were tired to say the least, rest was something that you needed the most right now.. Ezra just saved you with this blanket.

„thank you..“

Your voice was quiet and somehow hoarse but he heard you.

„I‘ll do it as many times as you need me to do it.. you don’t need to thank me for this you know“

„I know… but…“

„But?“

Ezra held your hand, reassuring you that he was listening.

„I don’t want to infect you… you should know this as an doctor mister Bridger?“

He chuckled a bit too hard on this one.

„Don‘t worry y/n, your favorite doctor is fully aware of this“

This boy just somehow always managed to get you to smile.

„Now that‘s the y/n I know!“

„Yeah but I‘m… kinda tired“

„Perfect, your body needs this“

A yawn escaped you, you closed your eyes and let the sleep take over, still feeling his hand holding yours.

„Sweet dreams.. I‘m still here for you until you wake up“

You only understood the beginning, thanking him when you drove off to your long awaited, and most importantly, stressless slumber.

The others returned from the mission and Hera and Kanan immediately made their way towards your cabin to check on you.

They were greeted with a heartwarming sight when they opened your door.

You were asleep, cuddled up in Ezra’s blanket. Ezra at the other hand had moved the chair closer to your bed, he was sitting there, also fast asleep, his and your hand still holding on to the other.

„They‘re adorable“

Heras voice was so high that it even took Kanan by surprise.

„We should check later on them again.. let them sleep for now“

„You’re right but before that..,“

She told him to stay there when she ran off, returning with another blanket.

„You want to join them?“

„No silly, it‘s for our little caretaker“

Careful not to wake you two up, she walked towards you, putting the blanket over Ezra’s sleeping form. Hera came back to Kanan, satisfied with her action.

„Now we can leave“

#ezra bridger x reader #ezra bridger #star wars #star wars rebels #ezra bridger x y/n #ezra bridger fanfic

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nutstickler78 · 1 month

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Compiling my german Zip headcanons!

Made These during school, so there‘ll probably be some mistakes as I‘m not supposed to even bring my phone 😝 (update: hi yes I ended up continuing and finishing this at home)

one of my moots lowkey motivated me to do this

Hope you enjoy this!

CW: Mentions of alcohol/beer, occasional swearing!

DISCLAIMER: These Are Just normal HCS, no x Reader or x Character.

Do not cry "you‘re racist!" As I was both born and raised in Germany.

Some of these are based off of things I as a german have experienced or heard.

———————————————————

☆ I already mentioned this in another post, but she had her first drink of alcohol free beer at the whopping age of 12.

☆ Curses the ever living shit out people in German whenever she‘s really annoyed.

☆ Sneaks beer into school and only shares it with Oliver, Edward and SOMETIMES Miss Circle (Favorite Student privileges)

☆ I feel like Engel at least speaks German, so when Zip, Oliver and Edward are bullying Claire and Engel (as well, I‘m assuming), she‘d throw in something WILD in German and Engel is kinda like: oh that‘s not.. 😀

☆ LOVES Bernd das Brot

☆ She would totally know "Komm, lass uns tanzen." by HEART (alongside Chip).

☆ Although it‘s rare, she sometimes lets out her German accent. For example, she‘s currently rambling and ends up pronounce the German R

☆ Says digga even if she‘s speaking english. It‘s permanently part of her vocabulary.

☆ Dresses with more drip than your average German classmate 💀💀 and she definitely judges them too

☆ When she was very, very young (like around Chip‘s age which I‘m assuming is like 5), she was a HUGE Bibi Blocksberg and Bibi & Tina fan. Had a lot of merchandise of them that she would NEVER EVER share.

☆ Would purposefully draw the ugliest outfits on the characters from the Top Model Books and put the little sticker clothes that came alongside on to the most brutal and metal characters ever.

☆ Always had Satch pencil cases. Thought they wer boring and drew on them. Free canvas lol.

☆ Loves saying German jokes in English to Edward and/or Oliver bc they make no sense in English.

"Hey, hey, guys. Can I tell you a joke?"

"If it‘s funny, go for it."

Zip, who‘s trying to control her laughing "Okay look, Two Hunters met each other."

"And?"

"They both died." Zip bursts out laughing.

"That makes no fucking sense."

"IT DOES"

☆ I feel like she has a little notebook where she writes a bunch of dumb stuff down, including many, MANY German memes only Germans would get. Meine Mama, meine Tante, der kleiner-

☆ Always has that German candy on stock (only for Chip, the coolest little brother!)

☆ Can open a beer bottle with literally ANYTHING you give her (except if it‘s a weak material, then obviously she can’t.)

☆ Praises German lunch knowing damn well it sucks ass. She only likes it because they got a mini burger and chocolate Santa once in kindergarten.

☆ Finds the raw existence of Frankfurt, Berlin, Mecklenburg-Vorpommern and Bayern so hilarious for no reason

☆ Whenever Engel tries to say something positive in German (idk in what scenario he‘d do this, but imagine he would), she‘d counter react by saying something diabolical in Germany (technically you could count this in another hc I wrote down.. oh well <‚3)

☆ Knows a lot of kid shows, German or not, but always prefers (and often times only knows) the German version of them like; Sofia die Erste, Jake und die Nimmerland Piraten, etc.

☆ makes fun of American food (it‘s so processed okay 😭)

"Haha! Seriously? That Fanta is basically just chemicals! Your stomach will LOVE that chemical burn!"

"Please let me drink in fucking peace"

—————

That‘s all for now! Should I write a German Zip FF? It won‘t be romantic and honestly only contain Zip being a menace but in GERMAN

#fundamental paper education edward #fundamental paper education oliver #fundamental paper education zip #fpe zip #fundamental paper education #nutstickler78 writing #german zip #german zip propaganda

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nevarroes · 2 months

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i can’t really speak for other people but whenever i think of ur art or see ur art on my tl i can only think of cas. like, i don’t think of u as ‘oh that one bg3 gortash x oc artist!’ to me ur the creator of casim! like i eat up every crumb of lore u offer of his SRSLY. i have truly never ever seen art like urs, what got me hooked to ur stuff in the first place was that portrait u did of cas with the bloody bhaal handprint, & Then i stumbled across the stuff with gortash. n listen, gortash is one of my favorites in the game, but (at least for me & imo) when u create an entirely new character & ship them with a canon one, that canon character kinda becomes ur own in a way. like the gortash you draw with cas is very in character, dont get me wrong, but at the same time he’s a little different from the game, & i like both gortash within gortcas And bg3 gortash. like i said, can’t really speak for anyone else, but ur art is so incredibly unique, and when i see it or think about it, i just think of you as an artist, not some rando bg3 fanartist i follow. ur art means a lot more than that to me, & probably a lot of ur other followers

which i dont understand the people that are like ‘i didnt know cas was ur oc i thought he was in the game’ because i have NEVERRRR seen that commented on anyone else’s ocs. ever 😭 cas is 100% gorgeous, and fits well into the realm of bg3, but no shit??? thats kinda the point??? like what was truly expected when commenting that

anyway. yeah, ur art is beautiful, & even if i am just one person telling u that ur art means way more to me than some random bg3 fanart that i could find anywhere, i hope it makes u feel a tiny bit better all the same <3

thank you so much too for taking the time to tell me this, I‘m honestly a little overwhelmed (not negatively!) since I really didn‘t expect people to like or let alone be attached to Cas or Gortcas this way, it means so much to me tbh🥺

I‘ve also realized honestly that I kinda glossed over the art aspect in the whole thing until I read your message? I suppose because I‘ve never really considered my art to be super unique style-wise or anything so I more or less just see it as a way to try and show something about the characters and attempt to tell a story. It‘s not that I hate my art it‘s more that it didn‘t occur to me that my art or style might play a part in it too, if that makes sense? Anyways yapping sorry, I just wanted to say thank you so much and I‘m glad that my art and stuff appeals to you this much💜💜

#blakemail #also the Cas design thing #its not like I designed him to stick out like a sore thumb but! he was meant to have little connection to how the game designs things tbh #like he was intended to fit in as a forgotten realms character but not necessarily a game character iykwim #anyways putting him next to Gortash makes that irrelevant anyways but I do still appreciate when ppl think he passes as some #bg3 npc or smh😭😭

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lestappenforever · 2 months

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I‘m so glad you have a reasonable view on the whole situation. It‘s beyond me how people defend this blatant exploitation of a child for pr.

Like, I adore children and yes, those videos and photos are cute and everything, but she‘s being pushed into the spotlight of an environment, that is very high-stakes. It‘s international, there‘s a whooole lot of money involved, politics, intrigue - it‘s absolutely cutthroat and volatile behind the glamorous facade. The public image for these brands (and the drivers as brands as well) is so incredibly important that collateral damage on the sides is brushed aside oftentimes.

And now imagine a little girl in this whole dynamic. It might be adorable now and she might even enjoy the buzz (as far as a child is able to understand it at that age) but what about in the future? No one can predict what could happen in the next few years, obviously, but it wouldn‘t be the first time that a child suffers from the public image of a relative/adult they‘re associated with.

I hope this makes sense? I‘m just a little emotional about this, my little brother is just a year or two younger and the thought of him being in a situation like this makes my skin crawl.

Thank you for speaking out about this. I‘m genuinely grateful to know this blog (which I adore very much) is safe from this

This is so well put, and goes great with what @tsarinablogs has said about the topic.

Everything about this makes me deeply uncomfortable, and I hope to hell that child won't suffer any lasting damage from being exploited at such a young age.

My blog will always continue to be a space free from this type of content, you can trust me on that. ❤️

#Asks #M anon 🧡#marieshyperf1xations

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shisnhou · 2 years

Text

kiss it better

"we‘re so sorry man," one of your friends apologize to him sheepishly, handing your over as you dip in and out of reality. "we didn‘t know they‘d drink that much."

the stench of alcohol hits nanami‘s senses, causing him to raise his brows in displeasure. you reek of the drinks you‘ve had, and the bar that you were in. the smell profusely irritates him, but the look on your face tells him you enjoyed yourself. he‘d put nothing past that.

"‘s alright." he answers with a smile, but a tight one. he closes the door to your home, walking into the house. suddenly, you’re stirring. the sound of his foot steps and feel of his warm hands has alarmed you.

"h-hey! hands off pri- prick!" although your words are horribly slurred with the scent of alcohol coming off of your breath, nanami kento can‘t help but still chuckle at you. "my- my husband’s gonna b- beat you—r ass!"

"i sure hope he does." he answers with a smile on his face, tone teasing as he holds you by the waist and leads you to the nearest bathroom.

"he will!" you proudly say with a delirious smile on your face, pointing a finger at his face and then smirking with closed eyes. "and he‘ll look so hot doing it!"

the comment makes him blush very hard. it causes every part of his body to tingle in a good way. even when you‘re drunk, sunken deep into the alcohol you still know how to unconsciously make your husband into a muddy mess.

"that must be something you thoroughly enjoy seeing." jokingly, he says. but then you‘re suddenly nodding your head, proudly humming as well.

"you don‘t even understand j- just how hot my hubby is." there‘s a proud look on your face as your feet suddenly flutter, taking him aback. "he‘s so very pretty, and hot, and smart, and hardworking, and- and- and he‘s everything!"

he stops right in-front of the door to the bathroom as his heart palpitates, running probably the fastest speed known to man. the feel on his cheeks have gone crazy; too many to even decipher.

and you haven‘t even noticed— because you‘re intoxicated— that he‘s stopped. you simply look and fall back with a sigh, imaging your husband in your head, not knowing you‘re speaking to the man himself. the dreamy look on your face only causes him to almost fold right then and there.

while he‘s caught off guard, you‘re wrapping your hands around his nape and then you‘re suddenly pulling yourself up. out of pure reflex, his hands tighten themselves around you. now, you‘re flush against each other and nanami suddenly feels hyperaware of the proximity between you— or the lack thereof— despite having pinned for each other, dated, engaged, and being married at this point.

"y‘know, not a lot of people know," your breath is against his lips, and he almost chases it, so very tempted to kiss you on the lips. "and you‘re not supposed to know," this time, you‘re whispering against him, eyes looking directly at his, "but keep this a secret okay? take it to your grave!" then your index finger appears between his lips and yours.

"..okay." he‘s quite unsure as to what you‘ll spill, moreover, you’re saying something you know that nobody else is supposed to know. now you’ve caught him completely. are you going to talk about how he likes to walk around the house with boxers? in his defense, it‘s comfortable and convenient for him! will you talk about how ridiculously long it takes for him to gel his hair perfectly? well, a serious man must take his reputation seriously. he can‘t be seen with his hair all over the place! perhaps about how he tends to wear mismatched socks? now that, he doesn’t have an excuse for.

"my husband wears glasses!" you whisper shout so adorably: that he‘s chuckling heartedly at you. however, drunk you doesn‘t know that, so your brows are now furrowed deeply at him. "what? he‘s hot when he wears it! i bet you don’t even pull the glasses look as hot as he does!"

at that he’s chuckling even more; borderline laughing. in his eyes you look insanely adorable. how could you look that adorable when you’re trying to be serious with this 'hidden' secret of yours and your dear husband?

"that’s a very interesting secret that you and your husband hold amongst yourselves." the smile he holds: he tries to bite it back down. but he does a horrible job at it, because no matter how hard he is taking to do so: it still appears on his face. "it must be thrilling to hide it from other people."

"no, it’s not thrilling." then the look on your face suddenly falls causing his eyebrows to raise upwards. yet before he can ask, you’re already opening your mouth to explain and give your reasoning behind your words. "i hate it because i can’t see him with them on public or when we’re on a date." the pout on your face warms his face.

he can’t believe you’re this adorable when talking so seriously. just the reasoning behind your words is already so cute that he wants to pinch your cheeks, and now your face adds to it.

"but!" then you‘re raising your index finger once more and smirking at him. "it’s also a good thing, because then i will be the only one to witness how hot my husband is with his glasses!" then you’re 'evil' laughing.

god, you cannot be more amazingly adorable in his eyes.

"i see, that must be very good for you then." and then he‘s walking into the bathroom with a drunken you in his hands.

all while you‘re on the counter, still rambling about your lovely husband— to your husband— nanami‘s heart is running dangerously fast. he‘s the one changing you, and the only thing running in his head is just how insanely lucky he is to be the one you chose to marry. up until you two are on your shared bed with his eyes already drooping and you still drunkenly mumbling, he‘s kissing your forehead and pulling you closer: still thinking about how adorable you are.

then the very next morning, and up until next month or so, you‘re wondering what made your husband change his mind about not wearing his glasses when you two are on dates, or just together, you quite clearly remember him saying how he hates it for no real reason. well, you‘re not complaining anyway.

if you couldn’t tell, this is not proofread.

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bakathief · 4 months

Note

Hiiii! I hope you had a good weekend! Your puzzle looked very cool. Thats one of your art pieces right? Neat!

Movie 8's definitely a good one. Lots of great KidCon moments. Also nothing like asking the child to be your copilot and everyone being totally fine with it. (>▽<) Movie 23 will always be a hit with me but I like 15 for not-Kid movies.

I see from your signup that youre a fan of both Kaishin and Kaiao. Can I ask what you like to see most in Kaito's interactions with Shinichi and Aoko? Romantic or friendship

Your secret gifter

Hello again!

Yes, this was my artwork! It won at a contest and I had to give the original away. I‘m glad I can enjoy it on my wall now!

15 is a very good movie yes! Also one of those I could watch anytime! And who wouldn‘t want a child as a co-pilot? 😛 great movie

Ohhh, that‘s hard, I enjoy either! I got into KaiShin because I wanted to see more interactions between those two and then you automatically end up with KaiShin. 😂 I think if I have to choose I‘d enjoy either one more as a couple but I don‘t mind them being friends with the other one in the same verse! Does that make sense? Lately I‘ve been having fun in one AU with my friend where it‘s KaiShin but Kaito also gets to grow closer to Aoko again and be actual best friends!

Hope you have a nice week!

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maeum-your · 2 years

Text

CHAPTER 45 | what's after like? (written)

word count: 5.2k

warnings: short mentions of domestic abuse, substance abuse, alcoholism, almost death, and abuse of power; panic attacks

a/n: i swear there's also lots of fluff 💀

< previous | next >

masterlist

never in her life did y/n think that she’d end up in jay’s bed one day, engulfed in his warm, bare arms, breath tickling her neck. but oops, i see i’m getting ahead of myself. let’s rewind and go back to the 30th of october, the day of the fated business party.

y/n and ningning were standing in the red haired girl‘s front yard holding hands. y/n tensed up every time a car came down the street. they were waiting for the car.

punctual as ever he arrived at exactly 6:45, just as he had said he would.

ningning pulled her best friend into a tight embrace. “you got this, okay? take a few deep breaths. and if that bitch tries anything give me a call and i‘ll mess her up real good.“

sick to the stomach y/n just nodded, trying to put on a somewhat confident expression but very obviously failing. ningning pushed her towards the street and winked.

“now go! your draddy is waiting.“

jay opened the door of the passenger seat for her and gestured for her to go in. “m‘lady.“

y/n curtsied. “lord farquaad.“

he blinked at her for a second, expressionless, then just walked away without closing the door.

the drive was unbearably awkward. like i-just-caught-you-and-my-mom-doing-the-hanky-panky-on-the-kitchen-table awkward. obviously that‘s not what had happened. for y/n‘s part, she didn‘t know how to talk to him at all now that he had started avoiding her like the pest.

“so…,“ said jay.

“so…,“ echoed y/n.

“you look good tonight.“

“wow, did mr. park forget all the roasts he prepared for tonight or is he just saving them for later?“

“no, i mean it. you do look really nice. not that you don‘t usually look good. i like your usual style. it‘s cute. i mean,“ he started stammering, “objectively your dress is a good length. not too long for the conservative and not too short for the party people. anyone would like the dress. so i do too. yes, since i‘m part of anyone too. and it‘s a nice shade of blue too. the best shade of blue, in my humble opinion. a nice midnight blue.“

y/n stared at him confused. “are you sick?“

“no, i‘m totally fine. why are you asking?“ he cleared his throat and fixed his already fixed tie for the tenth time.

“because you‘re rambling nonsense. god, that was so awkward. why are we always so awkward?“

another not less awkward laugh left his lips. “i guess it needs some time getting used to this whole friend thing.“

oh. yeah. how could she have forgotten that she moved from the enemy zone to the friend zone? so nice. silence overcame the car yet again.

“you look good too,“ she bursted out. he was nice to her, or at least trying to, so she should return the favor. it wasn‘t a lie either. jay always looked like perfection personified but just something about jay in a suit hit different.

their final destination was not too far away. they passed jay‘s neighborhood and entered an even wealthier and fancier one (how that was possible was beyond y/n‘s comprehension). they entered the estate through a gigantic iron gate and then drove through an arrangement of the most beautiful gardens and then parked around the water fountain.

jay, ever the gentleman again, opened the door for her and held out his hand.

“last call. we could still make a run for it if we wanted to.“

she accepted his outstretched hand and got out of the car. “we can do this.“

the place was streaming with hundreds of guests. the pair tried to blend in with the masses, silently hoping to not be discovered by anyone they knew. y/n had never seen that many rich people all in the same spot. it made her realize that no amount of money could buy you a good sense of fashion. jay could probably even make a plastic bag look hot on him but he knew how to dress himself and was just lucky enough to do so with clothes made out of high-quality materials. still, y/n with her $5 dress on sale looked classier than the majority of people inside this mansion.

even jay looked out of place in this room full of rich people. he was completely tensed up and y/n had to pretend that his iron grip on her hand didn‘t hurt a little. he wandered around aimlessly for a bit but then stopped dead in his tracks.

“they‘re right there.“ he nodded in the vague direction of “right there“, which meant by the bar completely covered in gold. “they“ meaning his parents who were in conversation with a tall, brunette woman and a girl with piercing blue eyes.

“you know what? maybe we should just go.“ his voice was shaking slightly.

as they turned around they almost crashed into the chest of a very tall woman. she raised her pink handbag, matching her all-pink outfit, in which sat a tiny chihuahua with a bow tied around its neck.

“oh, jay jay! we‘ve been looking for you. where are you going? your parents are standing right there talking to the gilmores. we all thought that you‘d be engaged to miss rory by now since your families are so close but you never seemed to show any interest in girls.“ she paused for a moment, lost in distant thought. “we would have all supported you if you were gay but alas, i hear you‘ve finally found yourself a girlfriend. you must be y/n.“ she shook her hand with passionate enthusiasm. “i have heard all about you, of course. which isn‘t a lot, i have to admit. seems like this boy wanted to keep you all to himself, eh? not even telling her own mother about you. she was ecstatic at the news. her little boy finally in love. and now go introduce her to your parents, jay.“ she shooed them away and they had no choice but to walk towards the golden bar.

the woman, whose name y/n still didn‘t know, gave jay‘s mother a kiss on both cheeks.

“ah, darling jiyoung. how are you doing? your son got lost looking for you so i brought them here. do you see how beautiful a girl jongseong has picked out?“

“indeed!“ exclaimed mrs. park.

y/n held out her hand but mrs. park shook her head. “what nonsense, my dear. come here.“

she was pulled into a spine crushing hug. her sweet perfume infiltrated her nose and the hair of the fur collar was tickling her nostrils. how long had it been since she had last been hugged like this by her own mother? it felt nice in spite of the sensory issues and the fact that the hugger was her fake boyfriend‘s mom whom she just met for the first time.

“welcome to the family, honey. i‘m quite enraged that jay has been hiding such a gem from us for this long. he‘s so mysterious when it comes to you but the burning blush on his face whenever your name is mentioned tells me everything i need to know. i can‘t wait to get to know you better. i‘ll see to have a private dinner arranged for just us.“

overwhelmed but thankful with all the kindness she was being shown y/n smiled warmly.

“that sounds lovely. it‘s so nice to finally meet you, mrs. park.“

she looked almost offended. “my dear, no need for these kind of formalities. please just call me jiyoung! oh, and i almost forgot: this is james, my loving husband“

the stern-looking man by her side had not uttered a single syllable since they had arrived but had been attentively watching her with furrowed eyebrows. he eventually held out his hand for her to shake and then his lips formed into a smile.

“i see that my son and the company seem to be in good hands. it’s lovely to meet the girl who has warmed our son’s heart. for a while i feared he‘d be alone forever. seems like he was just waiting for you.“

the task of not getting even more delusional than usual was becoming harder and harder. y/n was on the verge of pulling up twitter to scream on her private account but the urge to make a lasting good impression ultimately won.

then the friendly grilling began. about her aspirations for the future, her hobbies, any allergies, her opinion on hugging trees, and so on. she tried to be as honest and open as possible but she steered away from the topic when the question about her parents came up.

“so, y/n, what is it about my jongseong that you love so much?“

“mom!“ said jay full of indignation. “can you please not?“

“what? i only want to know how you charmed this young lady.“

y/n squeezed his hand to tell him it was alright.

“there are many reasons why i lo–“ she realized what she was saying and dragged out the vowel for a second longer, “–iiike him. first, he is incredibly smart and passionate about the things he loves. his heart burns for the pursuit of knowledge and that‘s why he is so well read too. even if the only books he‘s ever read would be the harry potter saga then that would have been entirely enough to win me over. but he has so much more to offer still. he is also kind and compassionate, even if he might not show it all of the time but it really does shine through and–“ she choked up unwilling, suddenly overcome by emotions she hadn‘t realized had been there, “i‘m so incredibly thankful for his presence in my life. he makes me feel precious and loved and every day i wake up wondering how i could ever repay him.“

her eyes were fixed to the floor, trying very hard to look anywhere but into his or his parents‘ eyes. jay‘s grip on her hand had tightened impossibly more during her little speech so at this point there was barely any blood flowing to her hand anymore. but she‘d never tell him to let go.

jiyoung wiped a little tear from her eyes. “that was beautiful.“

yes, and now can we forget about it, y/n thought?

“jongseong. y/n,“ came a very unwelcome voice from behind them. she had been hoping for a distraction and that‘s exactly what she got.

“lia,“ muttered jay through gritted teeth.

lia was approaching them with a triumphant smile on her face, her high ponytail wagging from side to side as she strut towards them.

“i see you finally met your boyfriend‘s parents, y/n? isn‘t she such a sweetheart, jiyoung?“ she cooed.

she pinched y/n‘s cheeks and casually put her arm around her shoulder as her body stiffened. send help, seemed to scream her eyes as she looked at jay.

“now, now, jisu.“ a hand appeared on lia‘s shoulder and tore her off y/n. “what did i say about personal space?“ it was a man in a well-tailored dark green suit. y/n froze.

“i told you not to call me that,“ grumbled lia.

“what, your name?“ he laughed. “don‘t be silly.“

his eyes flickered towards y/n who had grown pale as a sheet.

“i know jay, of course, but would you mind introducing me to your young friend here?“

“dad,“ y/n whispered.

“hmm, dad is a very interesting name indeed,“ he mused.

lia‘s eyes were widened in shock. “what did you just say?“

“you can‘t even recognize your own daughter? wow, i shouldn‘t be as surprised as i am right now. maybe if you had stayed to see your kids for longer than just kindergarten then you would know who i am.“ y/n‘s fingernails were digging into her palms.

realization dawned on his face. “y/m.“

“it‘s y/n, you scumbag,“ she hissed. “but I wouldn‘t expect you to know.“

“hope your mother’s doing well.“ he could shove is fake sympathy up his ass for all y/n cared.

“thanks to you no one is doing well. i hope you’re happy.“ the last words came out choked as tears welled up in her eyes.

he stepped closer with open arms.

“don’t touch me,“ she yelled. “don’t act like you care. you’re not my father.“

she stormed off. it was too much. seeing her father and him acting like he hadn’t ruined her life. y/n was trying to find the damn exit to this place but with the masses of people swarming about and the tears swimming in her eyes it was hard to see. she could hear jay calling her name as she made her way through the mansion.

she mumbled half-hearted apologies as she bumped into people. the room was spinning and no matter how many times she gasped for air, her lungs couldn’t get enough. she finally saw the golden-adorned door and made a run for it, stumbling her way towards it, but not even fresh air and the newfound space could make the aching in her heart stop.

taking the car was not an option so she opted to run further into the grounds where the woods were. she ran as far as her lungs would allow but they were burning and everything was spinning. she didn‘t get far before collapsing by a tree, dark spots dancing in front of her eyes.

she let out a wallowing sound, clawing at her chest.

“y/n?“ the girl didn‘t look up. breathing got harder with every breath she tried to take. she felt like she had been thrust into the atmosphere of an entire new planet.

jay knelt down in front of her on the dirty, muddy ground.

“look at me.“

she shook her head.

“look at me.“ he repeated firmly. her eyes met his. through the panic she barely registered the mix of fury, worry, and sadness meeting in his eyes. he gently took her hands in his.

“try to breathe with me. you can do it. ready? inhale,“ he took a deep breath, “and exhale.“ he breathed out. y/n tried to copy him but her breathing was too sporadic and she couldn‘t get it under control.

after a couple more attempts he asked her to close her eyes. at this point she was so dizzy that she followed him without question.

he guided her hands to his stomach where he placed them. he repeated the same mantra, only now could she also feel the way his stomach expanded and contracted with every breath.

jay was patient. it took around ten minutes for y/n‘s breathing to start resembling a pattern again. jay was drawing circles on her hands throughout the entire process. his fingers were slightly trembling. she slipped her hand out of his.

“y/n…“

“no. closer, please.“ the desperation in her voice made his heart ache. without question he engulfed her into a secure hug and she clung on for dear life.

they stayed like this, him stroking her back, as their breathing finally started to sync.

“i know you probably don‘t but if you want to talk about what happened then please go ahead. i‘m here to listen.“

y/n bit her bloody lip from chewing on it too much and finally remove herself from his embrace. it was jay they were talking about here. her enemy. her fake boyfriend. the guy who had looked down upon her for years. jay… who had run after her and helped her through a panic attack. jay who had let her cry for hours on his shoulder, ruining his white shirt with her tears and his dress pants in the mud. jay.

“my dad never married my mom,“ she started. “she was hired to clean his house. he is or he used to be, i don‘t really know, a powerful, stinking rich CEO who didn‘t have to pick his own nose because he could always hire someone to do it for him. my mom grew up poor and took on various jobs for money. she was hired at his house to do the cleaning but then when he started touching her, promising a higher pay, who was she to say no? he was also apparently quite handsome and charming in his earlier years so she was infatuated with him anyway. she inevitably became pregnant. she told him the news, secretly hoping he would care enough for her or at least for the baby. instead, he made her sign a contract to keep silent and to never come near him again. in exchange she received an envelope with a little bit of money.

“so my mother was left with me and barely any money to cover the costs piling up. we got evicted as she couldn‘t pay the rent so we were homeless for a while. a mother and her 10 month old child living on the street. it was an especially harsh winter and i got very sick. we had been sleeping under bridges and in tunnels and were unable to escape the cold winds of the season. a dangerous fever seized me and i almost died. my mother went to the only place she knew to call for help, setting aside her pride and the contract she had signed. my father was close to turning her away but not even his stone cold heart could have a baby‘s death on its conscience. he caved in and paid for all the medical expenses and i was able to recover.

“he let her stay, taking care of financial matters while she continued to clean his house in return. my mom got pregnant again and nine months later jung– my brother was born. he didn‘t send her away the second time. he might have not been very present in our lives but i still grew up with memories of him pushing me on the swing or dressing up my infant brother in suit and tie. i thought we were happy. turns out life would have been a lot easier if i had just died that winter.

“before I even started elementary school, he kicked us out. said that he found out he had another daughter and it‘s pretty obvious that he had sorted out his priorities. he kicked us out without notice, just told my mom that he had arranged a job position for her and had bought a small house for us to live in. we were not to contact him or his family ever again. i never expected that i‘d one day i‘d just run into him.“

jay made a thoughtful humming sound. “i think i get it now. your hatred for rich people. why you hate me.“

“i don‘t hate you.“

“but you did. i never knew what i had done. we got along really well the first few days of freshman year and all of a sudden you started treating me differently. your words were filled with venom every time i tried to talk to you. i was sad. i really wanted to be your friend.“

“i never hated you, i think. at least not really. i hated what you stood for and i guess i was in a way scared of you. i now see that i was stupid. you’re so much more than the status you were born into. the little speech i gave to your mother about why i like you so much? none of it was a lie. i meant every last word. you would never do the things my father so easily did.“

he placed his hands on her shoulders. “never. i swear to all that i love. i‘m not like that man and i will never be. okay?“ his voice had a desperate ring to it, like he needed her to really see him.

she nodded.

“what happened next? to you and your mother?“

the girl sighed and looked away. “my mom started blaming us. if only we had been better children, more lovable, more classy, more intelligent, he would never have left her. she started drinking and getting warnings from work. they were very patient with her, after all they were doing my dad a favor but even that patience had its limit. she lost her job and tried to take on smaller shifts as a cashier but she would either fail to show up or would come completely intoxicated. no one wanted to have her for more than a couple of days and eventually she just gave up. when she‘s not getting drunk at a bar now she‘s busy spending the rest of our money on quick drugs. all you can do is hope that your sleeping is convincing enough when she comes home so she doesn‘t get you.“

“get you? does she–“ y/n nodded before he could finish. she couldn‘t bare to hear it said out loud.

“it‘s not too bad. i mean, i‘ve learned to deal with it even though i would of course rather avoid it. better me than my brother. i know what you‘re thinking. that i‘m a terrible person to not have called the police or child services on her. i beat myself up every single day. i want to keep my brother save but what would happen if he‘s taken away? i‘m almost of age so he wouldn‘t be allowed to stay with me. and you know how the system operates. it would ruin his life. and some days i– i actually manage to feel pity for my mother. she made life a living hell but at least she stayed. if it hadn‘t been for him…“

jay wiped away a tear that was sliding down her face, gently caressing her cheek in the process. “i understand. he really screwed you over, huh?“

a dull chuckle left her lips. “you could say that. lia being this messed up makes a lot of sense now. i still can‘t believe that she‘s supposed to be my half sister. maybe we‘re more similar than I thought.“

jay‘s hand now moved to brush a loose strand of hair behind her ears. “you‘re not messed up. you‘re not a burden either. what you are is special and loving and kind and smart and funny. you are an enrichment to all of our lives. your brother‘s. sunoo‘s. chaeryeong‘s. ningning‘s. jimin‘s. heeseung‘s.“

he glanced at her lips.

“mine.“

y/n was reminded of something.

“since we’re already being honest with each other can i ask you a question?“

“anything,“ he whispered.

“why didn’t you kiss me?“

jay was thrust out of his spell. “what?“

“that day after our first fake date. correct me if i’m wrong but we almost kissed but then you just scadoodled away and things have been so incredibly awkward since. is it– is it because there is someone that you like?“

a soft smile played on his lips. “yeah, there is someone i like so very much and for that reason i couldn’t do it. she has been all i can think about recently. no, that’s a lie. i’ve liked her since the very first day we met.“

y/n tried to swallow but her throat had all dried up, doing her best to ignore the way her heart clenched.

“she is a very lucky girl then to have your attention. why don’t you tell her?“

“i just did.“

“no, silly. i mean the girl you–“ she paused, her eyebrows furrowed.

“oh.“ realization hit her like a truck. “hold on. let’s unpack that for a second. i still think this is some sick joke or something but if you were hypothetically telling the truth then i still don’t get why you couldn’t kiss me.“

“not hypothetically but being very honest, i have to admit that i felt so ashamed after what had happened at sunghoon’s party. i’m aware that you reciprocated the kiss but still, i should not have kissed you. i didn’t have my emotions under control and just took your first kiss like that. it should have been romantic and enjoyable. with someone who would ask you first if it was okay and you would actually like that someone. you didn’t want to talk to me at all afterwards. i thought you hated me, at least more than usual, and i couldn’t bare to repeat the same mistake. i wasn’t aware you wanted me to kiss you that night of the date. i was too scared of my own feelings for you to realize.“

“so he’s a gentleman,“ y/n teased. “didn’t want to give the girl he liked a goodbye peck on the lips after almost swallowing her whole in a basement.“

he cringed. “don’t say it like that but… basically, ehm, i guess that’s pretty accurate?“

“so you really do like me?“ she asked, still thinking she must have hit her head earlier.

“very much so.“

“are you sure?“

“a hundred percent.“

“positive?“

“not for much longer if you keep on doubting me,“ he huffed.

“okay, okay. just one more question: when you say “like“ do you mean it in a romantic way or just platonically? like you would love your bro?“

“in a way that makes my heart beat faster whenever i see you smile and suddenly i make it my mission in life to make you happy.“

“soo,“ she began, “if i asked you to kiss me right now because that would make me incredibly happy you would grant my wish?“

“with pleasure. but if this is a real question than i need you to answer one of my own too. do you have feelings for me too?“

“oh honey,“ she laughed, “you should see my private account i made in freshman year for the sole purpose of having a place to scream about how awesome you are and how much of a crush i had on you. the same account has recently been revived for the same purposes. my friends really do hate me now. i hope that answers your question.“

he grinned, obviously satisfied. “it does. but i want you to say it.“

y/n shot him a reproachful look.

“i like you, okay? in a way that has you as my first thought when i wake up and the last when i fall asleep. in that i never want to hurt you again and that i would sell my soul to have great conversation with you while cooking together.“

jay pulled her onto his lap and her arms automatically wrapped around his neck as his hands found their place on her hips. they sat so close, the tips of their noses barely touching.

“may i kiss you?“ he breathed against her lips.

“please.“

his lips were soft and moving gently as he pressed them on hers. it was nothing like the kiss they had shared in the basement, which had been full of confusing emotions and impatience. this one was unhurried and slow. it was their souls finally making peace and uniting.

the kiss didn’t last all too long. both smiled as they exchanged short, sweet kisses, barely containing themselves from giggling like little kids.

he leaned his forehead against hers. “is it too early to ask you if i can be your boyfriend?“

“only if it’s too early for me to say yes.“

jay closed his eyes. “stay over tonight.“

“wow, wow, wow, there, mister. moving a bit fast now, are we?“ she nudged him playfully.

ignoring her remark with a roll of his eyes he cupped her face in his hands. “i don’t want you to go back to that house. not ever again. i want to be sure that wherever you are you‘re save and loved. so please don‘t go,“ he pleaded earnestly.

“okay,“ she whispered. “but only for tonight. i can‘t leave my brother there all by himself.“

“we‘ll get him out of there too,“ jay promised.

that made her remember a very important fact that she had tried to push to the back of her mind.

“ehm, jay?“ he hummed. “you remember my brother?“

“jungwon? yeah. we‘re pretty well acquainted.“

“exactly! you see– wait a damn minute. did you just say jungwon?“

“i figured you were finally fessing up so i thought i would make it easier for you.“

“you– you– i‘m absolutely flabbergasted.“ she scoffed. “you knew?? and never said a word? how on earth did you even find out?“

he scratched the back of his head, a sheepish smile playing on his lips.

“jungwon would always draw this cat sitting on a cloud with the moon in the background and a tiny little fish swimming around. i know for a fact that he designed it himself – he was very proud of it – and i couldn‘t help but notice you had the very same cat drawn on your cast (which, by the way, is a whole other conversation for another day) which made me suspicious. further hints just proved my theory. i‘m so sorry but it would have been impossible to ignore all the times you, him, and your friends almost slipped up. and him as stephanie from lazy town was the final proof i needed. truly uncanny.“

y/n hummed, completely lost in his eyes. “do that again. that was really sexy.“

“i was just talking?“

“exactly. casually proving you‘re smarter and way more observant than everyone else. kinda makes me want to relive the basement scenario.“

she overdramatically bit her lip and wiggled her eyebrows at him but all she got back was a light smack on the arm.

“but wait! so you‘re not mad then?“

y/n had always thought jay would be furious once he found out but she felt like something didn‘t add up now.

he furrowed his eyebrows. “of course not. why would I be? i love jungwon and i lo–iiiiike you too. two in one.“

she made a face. “don‘t even think about dating my brother. but… i don‘t know. i just thought that since you hated me you would kick him off the team the second you found out but as i‘m talking i realize my error because you never actually hated me.“ she sighed. “i can‘t believe i was so wrong about you.“

she snuggled closer to him, burying her face in his shoulders.

“i‘m so sorry. for everything.“

he started lightly rubbing her back with one hand. “it‘s okay. there really is nothing to apologize for. we were both dickheads at times. but look at us now! we learned and grew us people. besides, i wouldn‘t have it any other way if that meant i wouldn‘t get to hold you in my arms now.“

that sounded nice. feeling save and protected was an incredible feeling. it‘s been so very long. y/n suddenly realized just how tired she was. she was completely spent from crying and all the drama and confessions of the evening that she almost fell asleep right here and there.

“come on, sleepyhead. let‘s get you home.“

and take her home he did. to his. to theirs.

they didn‘t let go of each other throughout the entire night. it was the first time in a while that both of them were welcomed by peaceful dreams.

a/n: if you're reading this you're hereby legally obliged to tell me what you think!! did we expect this at all? i had this planned since the beginning so writing it felt kind of scary since that would mean we've almost reached the end. but I had so much fun writing this so I would really appreciate it if you could share your thoughts with me <3

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masterlist

summary: y/n hates rich people and park jongseong is no exception. they have been academic rivals since freshman year (which he doesn't like to acknowledge) and always argue about the dumbest of things. but what happens when y/n's brother jungwon joins the dance team led by jay and their friend groups begin to mingle?

taglist 1:

@sophiko22 @missmadwoman @jungwons-rat @msxflower @minato-ariato @person-standing @blessed-sky @honeyhuii @yaeluvz @jaywonlix @nar-nia @bekah931215 @sirephines @revemixer @jjhmk @heelariously @ddeonuism @fylithia @dxlicateee @acciomylove @kyleeanne @solitxre @strwbryparfait @beibybtch @tomorrowbymoa-together @vantxx95 @sunshineshouchan @winter-berries @lilacboba @chewnotgyu @chaeflms @wondering-out-loud @wonniesimp @dinosdance @3ggieyolk @sunbokie @sadmusiclovs @zhaixiaowen @seollyeong @staerrymariam @sol123recs @bigtoewinwin @enhasengene @centheodd @joti17 @soobin-chois @jungwonswifex @sweetjaemss @indelicate-macalino @chiyuv

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