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#it would be one thing if she just never was on our line anymore but now she's like an HR so she checks on certain people a few times a week
maddy-ferguson · 1 month
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fun fact about me: i'm insecure about so many random things that i've never flipped anyone off in my 22 years of life because i think my middle finger looks awkward and ugly by itself
#and like i say: brf slt#i felt like this especially when i would have been likely to do it semi-regularly like in middle school. but like i was thinking about this#the other day and i did it in front of a mirror just to check and it looked as bad as i remember like it's just not for me#i have a story abour middle fingers though or just about what one would call the finger#when i was in what an american would call the 5th grade (i can never do when i was x years old because it's not an accurate representation#of the class i was in since i skipped a grade and the grade is what matters more to me. when i was 9 and my friends were 10 i was saying)#we would always play this game called girls catch guys or guys catch girls where the girls would run after the guys and like tap them on#the shoulder and then they would go to prison and they would line up and another guy could set them free by like touching one of the#prisoners it was a very fun game except it's way more fun to be like the ones getting caught than to be the ones catching and we would#ALWAYS play girls catching guys and it was very unfair we would be like okay in the morning we do guys catching girls in the afternoon#girls catching guys so it's fair like normal system but the guys NEVER wanted to do it (and we would always give in because like we still#wanted to play ig and idk guys. female socialization) they never wanted to be the ones doing the catching it was so unfair because we also#didn't like it as much and we did it all the time?#and i remember this one morning we were fighting about this we had literally all agreed that it was fair this way but they didn't want to#do it and my second best male friend flipped me and my best (female) friend off and (very#important detail) he did it with both of his hands so like two middle fingers and i don't know why because i'm not even sure that that's a#thing but one middle finger meant fuck you and two middle fingers meant go fuck yourself and to us that was very different? and i remember#my friend and i we like knew what it meant but for some reason we were like. he did do the one finger before doing the two does this mean#he...loves us because it literally means he wants to have sex with us#but what's funny is we never talked to him again after that and i don't even know why that was our last straw because i remember i#genuinely liked him before that like i said he was my second best male friend! so like maybe sixth best friend overall that's not bad#and he's not the only guy friend who flipped us off that year like it was so random to stop talking to him after that😭#like he was an actual enemy we really did not like him we talked about him in letters we'd give each other using a nickname etc#and what's even funnier is in our last year of middle schoold FOUR YEARS AFTER THIS a friend of a friend told him he should become friends#with well my friend and he was like hm i don't think so have you seen who she hangs out with? marianne *last name* like why do YOU hate#me😭 it was so funny like wdym it was mutual this whole time. i had literally moved on by then i didn't even care about hating him#anymore like wow...i think he's the only person i hated who actually hated me back
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chelseeebe · 25 days
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gimme a hand
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okay so i saw a silly tiktok abt how guys take nudes wrong and thought our lovely best friend reader could help eddie take some !! i am a little tipsy so pls excuse any mistakes
mdni. 18+. smut. like, literally just smut. fem!reader x eddie.
“so.. how are things with you and.. whatshername?” clicking your fingers in his face.
eddie scoffs, batting your hand away, “chrissy is her name,” correcting your childish behaviour, “and it’s good, we’ve been.. texting a little,” shrugging nonchalantly.
you and eddie had been best friends for years, though these hang outs were few and far between now. both too busy with the perils of adult life to sit around and smoke weed all day, like you used to.
that meant that your relationship had skewed a bit, no longer as close as you once were. though you still tried to feign an interest in his, mostly nonexistent, love life.
he understood though, your life was far too interesting to care about the very small roster of girls he was seeing.
“texting?” you exclaim, stubbing the embers of the joint out into the ashtray, “so you haven’t seen her since?”
eddie shakes his head, realising that what he had thought was an exciting update, was actually just a pathetic retelling of a long text thread.
“i think we’re just.. testing the waters,” brushing off your disappointment. he contemplates even telling you anymore but what kind of a best friend would he be if he didn’t at least tell you all the details. “she sent me pictures the other day,” wriggling his eyebrows.
“pictures?” a slight mocking tone to your voice that he doesn’t like, “what kinda pictures?”
his face scrunches up, cheeks flaming red, as if it wasn’t obvious. “you know.. naughty ones.”
you whistle, blowing the air from your cheeks in the most sarcastic manner, “naughty pictures.. wow eddie, you’re really moving up in the world. did you send any back?”
his head dips, regretful of ever sharing this with you. you had never had a lack of choice for guys lining up for you. even back in high school. of course you wouldn’t understand.
“no..” shrugging again, “i don’t.. don’t know how.”
“you don’t know how to send nudes?” utter shock rippling through your voice, “didn’t i teach you anything?”
“not how to send nudes!” he hits back, getting increasingly frustrated that you’d rather mock him than help him get laid for once.
“i can help you if you want,” you offer, “i don’t have to watch.. i can just.. guide you?” proposing the question as if it were a completely standard conversation for you two to be having.
“really?” his eyes bright and full of hope.
eddie really liked chrissy, she was sweet and the times they had hung out, they got on well. he just wasn’t equipped to match her flirting, afraid he’d overthink himself into losing her.
“sure,” you smile, grabbing his phone as you stand from the couch, “come on,” beckoning for him to follow you down the corridor to the bathroom.
you bundle into the trailers tiny bathroom, poised in front of the mirror with his phone in hand.
“you stand here..” you instruct, guiding him by the shoulders, “you need to get hard,” grinning as you look at him through the mirror, “i’ll stand outside and just.. tell you what to do, okay?”
eddie’s too high for this, wondering how you’d gone from a joint and a couple of beers to now helping him sext the girl he liked.
you disappear outside, shoving his phone into his chest, the knob clicking quietly as the realisation of what the hell he was doing sets in.
“so..” he poises, swiping onto the camera, posing himself in the dirty mirror, “pull my pants down, right?” wanting to make sure that he got nothing wrong.
“yeah, but not all the way, just like.. a little bit.”
okay, he thinks. tugging his sweatpants down just beneath his balls, his boxers following suit. he was getting hard just thinking about it, the fact that you were instructing him what to do wasn’t helping.
his fingers wraps around the base of his cock, pumping his fist a few times, stifling the groan that had settled in his throat.
this was already weird enough, he didn’t need to make it weirder.
“okay..” his voice quivering, “what now?”
you tut, “pull your shirt up.. or off, it looks bad otherwise.”
eddie does as you ask, taking his shirt off and tossing it into the floor with the rest of his dirty clothes. he peers at the image through the screen, inwardly cringing at how stupid he looked.
“i don’t know,” though his dick was already stiff, aching for him to continue. “i look stupid,” he frowns, attempting to position the phone differently, although nothing seemed to help his pathetic stature.
“no you don’t,” your voice rings through the door, “now you gotta pose it.. make it look good, sexy.”
his eyes squeeze shut, wishing you’d stop talking with that low growl in your voice. this was for chrissy’s benefit, not his. getting off to the sound of your voice while trying to arouse another girl was not the plan.
eddie exhales, opening his eyes to reposition the phone, closer to the mirror. his fist begging to move and finish the job.
nothing helped, in fact, it looked worse than before. chrissy’d block him if he dared sent anything like this.
fuck, he felt like a pervert. this was wrong. twisted.
“have you done it?” you call.
“no,” he gulps, frowning at the image of himself in the mirror.
you huff, knuckles wrapping against the door, “i’m gonna come in, okay?” giving him no time to think before you appear next to him in the mirror.
your eyes fall straight to his cock, widening every so slightly, “wow.. okay,” chuckling awkwardly as you snap back into it. “you have to..” your hand lowers his phone, straightening the camera position for him.
his breath is jagged, on the edge of exploding and splattering all over his bathroom. whatever buzz he had had from the weed had dissipated, replaced by the hazy tingly sensation of your hand near his cock.
“and then..” you look to him, in person this time, not through the safety of the mirror, before wrapping your fingers around the ones that were still lingering around his cock. “do this..” voice trailing off into a low whisper, using his fist to pump his already leaking cock.
a strangled gasp leaves his mouth, heat searing through his body. mind too fuzzy to truly comprehend the shit he was seeing and feeling.
the heat of your body presses against his back, delicate fingers still travelling the length of his cock, “film it,” not once letting your eyes fall from the side of his face while his stay firmly on the mirror in front.
maybe this way he could pretend it wasn’t real, that he was just watching some video and you weren’t actually jerking him off by-proxy.
eddie, ever obedient, presses the record button, sighing into his phone as your his hand continues to move.
his knees almost buckle, kept afloat by the sound of you panting into his ear. it was almost too much, his brain collapsing into itself as your hand takes over, ignoring the phone in his hand to continue making him whine and quiver like that.
the weight of your body presses him into the cold china basin, eyes travelling from his face to his dick and right back up again.
you could’ve told him to jump right now and he would’ve. other hand reaching around to grab onto whatever part of you he could get a grip on.
your lips trace against his neck, lingering against the skin. he couldn’t keep the phone straight, the video would just be some big blur of him groaning and the sink. not that it matters. not while you’re touching him.
“is this good?” you ask, breath tickling against his ear.
eddie nods rapidly, “good.. so good,” fingers twisting around your shirt as his eyes flutter closed. “fuck,” he gasps, the phone slipping from his hand onto the counter when your thumb circles the tip of his dick. an otherworldly feeling he had never been able to feel before.
“yeah?” you grit, pulling his hand, signalling for him to turn. his bones were jelly, body mailable and under your control. his back now pressed against the sink, foreheads pressed together.
one hand holds onto your hip while the other finds your cheek, lazily trying to connect your lips. your knee slides between his legs, spreading them just enough for your other hand to creep between and grab his balls.
“ohh shit,” eddie wails, kissing at your bottom lip, sucking at the skin.
nothing felt real, waiting for his alarm to pull him out of this fucked dream to a sticky puddle and a new perspective on your friendship.
your expert fingers fondle his balls while the other fists his dick, pre-cum making your fingers glisten and move with ease.
his throat squeaks, the most pitiful noise a grown man could’ve made, his bottom lip still latched onto yours.
ten years of friendship and yet the two of you had never even kissed before. wishing you wouldn’t have wasted so much time on actually doing it. a newfound adoration for the sweet taste of your lips and the friction of your palm rubbing against his cock.
“i’m gonna cum,” he babbles, stomach flipping, waves of pleasure crashing through his tingling limbs.
you don’t respond to his whining, your nose brushes over his as his breaths become shallow and staggered. a iron clad grip on your shirt as he teeters over the edge, hips stuttering into your palm.
“ohh fuck,” eddie mewls, bursting all over your hand, “shit.. fuck, oh god,” your eyes dark, gazing down at your hand still wrapped around him, somewhat proud of what you’ve achieved.
he lets go of his hold on your body, hurriedly trying to find the counter to ground himself. his head a million miles away on mars, his lack of thoughts disrupted by the sound of the water running.
chest still heaving as he braves a look at you, watching his release swirl down the drain. you’re chewing on your bottom lip, a sudden realisation that you had just made your best friend cum maybe. he doesn’t really want to ask. hoping you won’t regret it.
eddie picks up his phone, stopping the recording, his thumb shooting straight to the tiny trash can until you grab his wrist.
“don’t delete it,” a fire within your eyes, twisting the screen in your direction, “i wanna watch.”’
his finger hovers over the play button, looking to you though your eyes are trained on the screen, waiting for him to press play.
the video starts, shaky footage as the audio of his pathetic grunts and gasps fill the tiny bathroom. eddie can’t bring himself to watch, forcing himself to watch you rather than the video.
you’re smiling to yourself, smug at the sight of you making him crumble. he wants to be embarrassed, can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and yet, he doesn’t turn it off.
“maybe don’t send that..” you remark, finding his eye, that mischievous sparkle that eddie hadn’t seen in years, reappearing.
he needed to feel you, in the way that you had felt him. cock already reawakening when your lips twitch into a smirk.
shit.
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advluv4life · 1 year
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When you haven't even touched your homework because you're too busy journaling about these stupid jealous feelings you're getting in your baby of a relationship because it's just who you are. And you really don't want to fuck the relationship so you're just journaling it to see if maybe it helps you rationalize how ridiculous it is to think that your boyfriend of less than a month is going to dump you for some girl who is indeed much prettier than you (no matter how I look at it she is much prettier than me (there's a bit more to it but that's def something I think...) and they're going to get married in like 5 weeks. Like, it's not going to happen that way again, right? That doesn't happen every time and the idea that it would happen (considering what I know about him and how I know nothing about her)...there is no way I need to be this anxious this feeling just engulfs my entire soul and I just I can't breathe. I don't want to do that. I want to be the person who doesn't do that but I don't know how to be that person. I don't know what that person does instead of feeling the way I feel.
Help.
#relationship#relationship advice#help#any advice?#she worked on the same line as us and she got moved to a different department but before that I thought he liked her#he didn't talk to me when she was in our department and if she still was in our apartment I don't know if he'd even actually care about me#not that I was interested in him when she was in our department...but at the time I also thought he liked her...until she left#I'm in my head about it and I don't want to be upset or frustrated and I don't want to take it out on him because he has done nothing wrong#everyone else kept implying that they like each other and I believed it to an extent#he is an absolute sweetheart and I really don't have any reason to be so insecure I don't think#he made a comment to someone one time that he didn't want to be friends with someone who didn't text back#referring to her... which is why I don't know if he really doesn't care about that technically#I don't want to feel like I've been settled on#or I'm the second choice or I am convenient#it would be one thing if she just never was on our line anymore but now she's like an HR so she checks on certain people a few times a week#how do I overcome this what do I do what do I need to put in place to overcome this without destroying a boundary#or feel like I'm crossing and unnecessary boundary#I don't want to see texts I don't want to feel like I have to be elaborated on every conversation they have#I don't know if I just feel less special now that we're getting close to the end of the 1st month or if it's just hormones or if it's...#well I mean I definitely need to work on my internal and external self-esteem#ugh
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amaranthineghost · 2 months
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NOW IM BACK IN OUR EMPTY APARTMENT, LOOKING AT THE PIECES I WISH WERE YOU ( max verstappen. )
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max verstappen x reader
an imperfect relationship between world champion max verstappen and a busy college student now filled with more tension as he fails to hold his tongue after a disappointing race.
authors note: love writing for max, i might have to do it more!!!
HE DIDN'T MEAN FOR THIS TO HAPPEN. it snowballed into something he had imagined before but never would've expected it actually happening to him. he could normally control his temper, especially when it came to her. sure, there was a few moments that stood out in his career when he had gone over the limit on certain occasions, going as far as to push another driver, but he would always separate his home life and his career.
at least he would try to. the australian grand prix hadn't played out like he had wanted, or anyone for that matter, because no one wants their car to get fucked and have to retire. especially on the third lap, it was just embarrassing. he was struggling the entire weekend, though his spirits temporarily lifted when he had managed to get pole position. he knew he would, but after the struggles throughout the practice sessions, he hadn't been too sure.
he just wished she would've been there to see it, but she was stuck in their apartment with their cats, jimmy and sassy. she had to do her college work, that was due all too soon, before she could go running around to his races. despite being financially supported by her talented boyfriend, she wanted things to do when he wasn't around, and while school work wasn't exactly many people's cup of tea, it was hers.
she liked the possibilities that came with the experience and maybe one day, she could land a job that would put her in line with her beloved driver. sure, she loved visiting the paddock as a wag, but she would love it more from behind the scenes. of course dating a driver, she already gets to see more than the average person, but she wanted to do something worthwhile with her time in the paddock.
he understood, but he had the only condition of letting him pay for her schooling. debt wasn't fun, and he wouldn't let her fall into that burden. besides, max would love to be able to see his girl working hard in the paddock, but now he wasn‘t so sure if she was his anymore.
he was agitated, she was stressed, and they both knew they didn't mix. they should’ve just waited to see each other in person, but they were both missing each other at the time.
she watched the race on the tv in their bedroom with her laptop on her lap with her latest, big assignment due in the next few days. she was struggling, and she figured it was better to get as much time to work on it as possible so she opted out of flying to australia. still, she watched, hardly stressed, because she knew max was an amazing driver.
but come the race on sunday, his dnf shocked her. she was riddled with worry and part of her wished she had been there. maybe if she had been, this whole thing could’ve been avoided, but the stress she felt now would’ve only worsened had she been with him.
upon the smoke trailing out of his car, hearing the commentators say he had dropped positions, seeing the puff of smoke when his car rolled down the pit lane, the fire on his brake duct, she shut her laptop instantly. now she was sitting on the edge of the bed, eyeing the screen closely, phone on standby to call him after. she leaned her head on her hands while her elbows dug into her legs.
she watched his tense answers to the media, his uninterested attitude because she knew all he wanted to do was get to his driver's room for peace and sulking. she knew and yet she still made the mistake of calling him right after.
she hadn’t waited long for him to answer, but he didn’t answer right away. hearing no answer from his side of the phone, she spoke first.
“hey,” she spoke as gently and nicely as she could.
“hey.” his voice was short and straightforward, as if he didn’t care about anything she was going to say.
finding the right words to say was like walking on eggshells and there wasn't a lot of room to go. she just hoped she took a step in the right direction when she asked him, “how are you doing?”
“what do you think?” she sighed, biting at the inside of her cheek
“not great,” she muttered, he hummed back in response, which just made her even more unsure of her next words, “ ‘m sorry you has to retire from the race.”
“sorry doesn’t fix the car,” she heard him mumble under his breath, earning a scoff from her.
“excuse me?” her tone was like she had accused him of something, “i get you’re mad right now max, but that doesn’t mean you can be an asshole. i’m just trying to help.”
he scoffed back and she could feel the eye roll he would’ve given her, “yeah, well you're not.”
“what is wrong with you?” she stood up, anger coursing through her.
“i don’t know, maybe the fact that my race was fucked and now you’re bitching to me about my attitude.”
she hadn’t thought before speaking, in moments of high stress she just said whatever she felt, and so did he. what she felt right now was annoyance and anger, “fuck you max,” was all she could spit back, taking a deep breath being speaking again. “news flash, you’re not the only person in the world dealing with shit, it's one race that you got out on, grow up.”
with that she hung up, and he heard the dial tone from his phone, regret beginning to seep past his clothes and into his skin, his nerves, his brain. he just majorly fucked up the most important thing in his life because to him she was more important than his career points, the car, the championship, his entire career, and he just threw her aside in the height of his anger.
he tried calling back immediately after he realized what he had just done, but it had just gone straight to voicemail. when that all failed, he spammed texts, or paragraphs more like, about how sorry he was and how she didn’t deserve the attitude he gave her, but it did nothing.
she sat and watched as the texts and missed calls flooded in. while she understood he was angry, it didn’t give him the right to talk to her like that so she left her phone unanswered while she had gotten up to pack. in less than a few hours, she knew max would be back in this apartment, probably on his knees, begging for forgiveness from her. she knew she would forgive him the moment he did so she wanted to get away before he could.
it didn’t take long, she hadn’t packed her entire life away, but a single suitcase and carry-on bag was enough to last her until she decided to patch things over. taking one last look over her shoulder, one last pet of their cats before she had closed the door behind her. knocking on the apartment door of their neighbors to ask them to care for the felines like they did whenever he left for races and she went alongside him.
but in recent months, moreso in the 2023 season, she found herself attending fewer races than she used to because of the growing tension and stress between the pair. it didn't help that they didn't talk it through, they couldn't because they didn't have the time. she had college, he had formula one, and they both had no time to meet in the middle to amend whatever was broken before. whatever was broken remained as such and only cracked further as time went on and the pressure increased.
they knew they should've come together and met in the middle, but they were both petty and too stubborn. it was another reason they clashed, but they also just worked so well.
he was hoping this was going to be the one time they could've found that time to talk, to sit down and have a deep conversation that lasted hours, that they would've ended up getting side-tracked from and begun to talk about random topics, like they used to. laying on her back with her head in his lap and his fingers through her hair as they laughed at funny memories, or moments they had experienced together.
but when he came home to a quiet, empty apartment, he knew. he knew he shouldn't have hoped for something that was unlikely to happen. his cats rubbed against his legs as he walked about the apartment. dirty dishes that had yet to be washed sitting in the sink, blankets unfolded in the couch and doors left open. the air was stale without her presence and he was left to wallow in it. her absence was a sting against his skin as he kicked off his shoes, seeing a couple pairs less than what there usually was, hanging up his coat alone because hers were now gone.
everything was a reminder if how he had treated her, the words he spat like venom all because he had retired from a single race. he can't stop hearing her venomous last words to him, her tone was like he was the scum on the bottom of her shoe. he might’ve well have been because he sure felt like he was. a piece of trash for the way he spoke, granted he was angry, but he didn't have the right, he never would have the right to talk to her like that.
the floorboards creaked under him, cutting through the silence only interrupted by the sounds of his clothes brushing together as he walked. he peered into the various rooms of the house, seeing half the items she would normally have that had been left behind. pieces of her he was left to further sulk with.
it was cruel, but he understood cruel was what he deserved. he deserved seeing the messy, unmade bed that remained empty for hours after she left. covers pulled back like she had just gotten up to see him, except she hadn't.
she was gone, and he hadn't known where, or if she would even come back. he could only hope that she wished to mend their cracked and shattered relationship as much as he wanted now.
he could only hope.
taglist (found here): @slut4lrh @taylorslovesswifties13 @sbella13 @kaa212 @nhlfs @thearchieves
proofread by @foreveralbon <333
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Our Little Love part eight - OT7 Mafia/Yandere au
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Mr Kim has a chapter all to himself of 6.8K words, please enjoy and PLEASE let me know what you think. Trigger warnings: manipulation, coercion, corruption, interrogation, mentions of murder and other crimes, swearing, jealousy, possessive yandere behaviour, fingering, orgasm denial, mirror sex, light choking. I am awful with warnings, please forgive me.
Namjoon wasn’t all that impressed with seeing the Chief of police visiting his cell, the syndicate boss was dressed too well to belong there, it was almost an eyesore. A glance to the camera, the normal red blinking light absent tells him all he needs to know. There were no eyes or ears to this conversation. 
“I thought I paid you to keep your men in line,” Namjoon says in lieu of greeting. “Was a bullet to the knee not warning enough for your dear Captain?”
“He wasn’t an issue when I spoke to him, the man was on leave!” the chief replied. “Your girl was the problem he-”
“Be very careful how you finish that sentence,” he advised with a deep angry rumble from his chest. “I am well aware who is at fault here, and regardless of what our little love does, she is never to blame.”
Chief Lee Soo-man only nods once, biting back his complaints.
“I asked you to sort out Kim Suho, I told you to keep him in check,” Namjoon growls. “Keeping your pockets full isn’t an act of charity Lee, it’s a purchase. I own you.”
“Yes sir,” he mumbles in response. “I assure you this arrest is just a formality, the case won’t stand once it’s revealed Detective L/n-”
The glare the man in the blazerless three piece suit gave him was enough to stop him in his tracks. Right, he couldn’t involve you in this, that was going to make things harder than they needed to be.
“What do you recommend then sir?” he asks when he finds his voice and wavering courage. 
Namjoon sighs harshly, and the Chief swears he can almost see smoke. 
“I want to be alone with my little love,” it’s not a request, the chief didn’t let the soft lilt of his fool him. 
“I don’t know how that would be poss-”
“I want-” Namjoon cuts in, unable to bear another second of this blithering idiot, “her to be the one to interrogate me. And I can trust you understand the rest.”
“Y-yessssir,” he stutters, not completely hearing the words between the lines, and that was clear enough on his face. 
“I want her alone, Sooman,” Namjoon repeats himself, if this were one of his men he would never have needed to. “I don’t want a single soul witness to what I’m going to do to her.”
Suho tugs you along by the arm, stumbling in his urgent pace, pulling you out of ear shot.
“We have a problem.”
“What problem?”
“I’m technically on health leave, brass says I can’t interrogate him,” he stares a hole into you as if his eyes were telling you the rest but you couldn’t understand.
“Okay so who’s replacing you?”
He huffs out a breath of air from his nose, knowing you weren’t going to like the command from way over his head.
Your heart beats hard in anticipation, why was he looking at you like that?
“As far as Brass are aware you were deep undercover,” Suho informs you slowly, deliberately, looking like he was about to tear your world to trash. He sighs, unable to get the words out.
“Suho what?”
“They want you to interrogate him,” he breathes, you think you’ve misheard him, but you know you haven’t.
Your world spins, you’re already shaking your head.
“I can’t,” you whisper, he knows full well that you can’t. “I resigned, I’m not a detective anymore.”
He sighs again, hesitation in his eyes. 
“I never processed it,” he confesses.
“Y-you di-”
“I couldn’t, I knew you would see reason, I knew you would come back,” he doesn’t let you process the shock, explaining himself quickly. 
“Suho I can’t I can’t,” you beg, the conviction you had to punish them now suddenly taking a back seat as fear overtakes you, “right now they believe I was deep undercover but he’s not going to let that-“
“Listen to me,” he interrupts you before you can fully submerge into a panic attack, taking your hand in his. “I’m going to be in the next room, as soon as he says anything that compromises you, I’ll turn off the cameras, okay?”
“But-“
You’re interrupted again when the door opens, both of you whipping your heads to see him being transferred by four officers to the interrogation room. His eyes find you, staring stoic holes into you before his gaze finds Suho’s hands comforting yours. The snarl of displeasure is brief but you definitely see it, and you can’t breathe.
Suho draws your attention back to him, tugging your hand softly.
“Do you trust me Y/n?” he implores you, eyes searching yours in a way that made Namjoon want to strangle him with the chains on his handcuffs. You look up at your Captain with such light in your eyes, a way you should never look at another man, and then you have the audacity to nod. 
You’ve done this a hundred times, if not more. So why were you hesitating at the door? Your hand on the handle, all you had to do was turn it and face the music but you couldn’t even manage finding your breath. 
Interrogation was a science, it was like riding a bike, you knew what you had to do, you had to command the room. It almost sounded like a joke, the worst one you’d ever heard. Command a room when Kim Namjoon was in it? 
The thought makes you hyperventilate. No, it wasn’t going to be easy but you could control what you could. You borrowed clothes from an old colleague, a skirt and blouse, simple but professional. Suho’s old blazer too, as if layers would protect you. You had splashed water on your face in the bathroom, using makeup from evidence to make yourself look presentable, composed. Your impromptu freshening up had meant you left the syndicate leader waiting for a long time, and it absolutely 100% was not because you were trying to kill time, it was to make him stew in the room, a technique you had used multiple times prev- who were you trying to convince? 
You needed to get this over with. 
Your face is impassive when you finally open the door, his gaze is on you immediately and you can feel a certain type of guilt and shame try to seep its way into you, but you push it down far enough that you can pretend it’s not there.
“Mr Kim Namjoon,” you greet him stoically.
“Detective L/n,” he returns, playing along with a small smile, as if seeing an old acquaintance after a long time. The way he addressed you shouldn’t cut you, logically it made no sense not when you’re the one that got him in the box, but it did. 
You approach the table he’s chained to, looking at the wood instead of his eyes as if he didn’t matter, or at least that’s how you wanted it perceived. Avoiding eye contact with the most dangerous man the whole country had ever come to know, meant you missed the way his stare moved to your clothes, particularly your blazer, recognising it was a man’s, and he could confidently guess exactly who it belonged to. Any friendliness on his face disappeared, he wanted to play games and now he just wanted to torture you a little, punish you for you actions. Patience, he tells himself, that would come later.
The file in your hands slaps the table as you throw it down, taking a seat opposite your boyfriend, a man you now convinced yourself you wanted behind bars. 
What do they say about a woman scorned? Namjoon thinks to himself, admiring the fire he could see burning underneath your skin, and though he knew he would feel the burn, he would welcome it. It was no secret that he had a fantasy about you interrogating him, he introduced the role play to the bedroom soon after your return to them but it lacked the flames of heat he could feel today. 
“Allow me to formally introduce myself,” you reply. “My name is detective Y/n L/n, I’ve been undercover at your… establishment for the past year and a half.”
“Is that right?” he barely suppressed his amusement but it didn’t phase you. Your professional head was on, this was just another criminal you had to put away, that was it. 
You open the file, sliding out photos of him that you had sent in as intel in your early days undercover as well as surveillance photos that Suho had taken since you were MIA. 
“Do you know who this man is Mr Kim,” you say, sliding the first of the photos to him.
“Can’t say I do detective,” he shrugs nonchalantly, not even glancing away from you. 
“Do you want to try looking at his face first before you answer,” you insisted unimpressed. 
He smiles, still staring at you. 
“I don’t recognise him,” he repeats himself slowly. 
“So this isn’t you in the photo?” You ask.
“I don’t know,” his grin only grows.
“This man, Jackson Wang, is dead, and the last person who saw him alive seems to have been you Mr Kim, at least based on the time stamp on this photo and the time of death from the post mortem.”
“Is that right,” he says again, sounding like a broken record. His eyes swim with admiration for you, you can see it though you can’t understand it at all with the current scene. Why wasn’t he fuming, why wasn’t he demanding an answer or explanation?
“Okay let's cut the crap since I know you’re far too clever for that Mr Kim,” you scoff with a roll of your eyes. “I have gathered evidence of your crimes from the last 18 months, and I will stand in court as a witness against you.”
“Are you allowed to do that little love?” he asks, the name has a pang of panic hit you, but you tell yourself you can explain it away to brass.
“The charges you're facing so far are murder, battery, and grand larceny to name a few,” you state ignoring him, flicking through the photos, throwing each one in front of him. “There are many more to follow.”
“I didn’t know partners could testify against each other,” he mused, smirk still strong on his face.
“I’m not your partner,” you object. “I was undercover.”
“No,” he contends, shaking his head like this was just a game to him. “You can’t fake a love like ours, heaven.”
You almost snort as if his point was ridiculous.
“I don’t think I could ever love someone like you Mr Kim,” your stare was ice cold, that finally wipes the smile off his face. 
“You’re angry,” he states as if it was new information for you. “I get that little love, but this is a bit too much, don’t you think?”
“I think justice needs to be served, don't you?” you sneered. “People got hurt, some people died, someone needs to pay.”
“You and I both know they deserved it,” he declares as if there wasn’t a camera recording his confession. “You’re just angry because I stepped on a bug.”
Utter rage brewed like a storm in your chest, and you wanted the downpour to drown him. 
“You sound like you’re ready to sign the confession Mr Kim,” you don’t break your stare. “That’s great, saves us a lot of time, thank you.”
You close the file, pushing the chair back to stand. 
“I’m not done with you,” he growled.
“But I’m done with you.” 
“Y/n sit,” he commands calmly, composing himself. “Throwing a fit isn’t going to fix things.”
“Throwing a fit?” The audacity of this man, you stand there in shock. 
“Let’s talk it through,” he says to you as if you were being hysterical. 
“Fuck you,” you spit. 
“Talk to me Y/n,” he scolded you like you were a child. “Without this bullshit.”
“Fine! You wanna talk about it Namjoon,” you snapped, taking the seat again, throwing the file haphazardly on the desk. “Let’s talk about it.”
The glare you present him with doesn’t make him flinch, it doesn’t phase him. You hope Suho had enough sense to turn the cameras off by now, this would go nowhere. 
“You manipulated me, you lied to me, you made me play the fool.”
He didn’t react, not a single muscle on his face moved and it fanned whatever flame explode inside of you like a bomb. This was his true colours underneath the mask of love and adoration he created for you.
“You don’t have to pretend anymore Namjoon I can see right through you,” you state. “And you are never touching me again.”
That made him look at you, really look at you, something shifted in his gaze, a slight smirk as if he was mocking you.
You could cry kick and scream about the injustice he put you through in the name of this fucked up love and he wouldn’t flinch. He would sit there and watch and then the fucker would have the audacity to laugh afterwards. He must’ve laughed at how stupid you were in trusting him when he lied.
“At least if you go to prison, I’ll finally be free,” you whisper like it’s a life line.
He’s still unmoved, sitting there as if you were invisible and it irked the fuck out of you. He was the one who wanted to talk, why the fuck was he silent now? 
You wanted him to hurt you wanted him to feel an ounce of what you did in the light of his betrayal. He tore your heart out and you weren’t going to forgive him.
“I must’ve looked so pathetic,” you say in a self deprecating tone, looking at the ceiling as if someone could answer you. “Suho was right.”
That comment makes his blood boil hard enough to show on his face. There it was, the reaction you were waiting for and you took the bait without thinking about what you were trying to catch or what you were trapped with.
“I should’ve trusted him, he’s always had my back and my best interest at heart.”
His jaw clenches, a fist squeezing nothing but air although he probably wished it was the captain's neck.
“Kai and Suho are all I have left,” you goad him, unsure of what exactly it was that you wanted to prove. “And finally I’m back where I belong.”
“If you don’t want a bullet in each of their heads, you need to stop talking love,” he grunts through gritted teeth.
Something inside of you felt vindicated and you realise then what you wanted from him, proof he fucking cared, that you weren’t some pawn or prize in this game of crime. You wanted him to soothe the very cuts he caused, or rip your heart out hard enough that you could bleed him out of your system forever.
“Oh please Namjoon, just admit why you kept me around for so long,” you scoff. “I can only imagine how it felt to have the lead detective on your case in the palm of your hands, like a trophy, a big fuck you to the justice system.”
You laugh sounding a little maniacal.
“You had me, and I fell for all of it.”
“You’re forgetting I didn’t know your true origins at first little love,” his low voice is a warning, he looks at you like he needed to remind you who you belonged to.
“And you’re forgetting I know you,” you bite back. “Any hint of betrayal and you pull the trigger first and ask questions later.”
He stares at you, grimacing.
“And yet here I am, alive.”
“Because I love you,” he says it so casually it throws you off, like it was a fundamental part of his being, like breathing.
“Because you saw an opportunity,” you rationalise.
“Because I could never lose you,” he confesses. “You could rip out my heart, little love and I would still want you, why else would I be here?”
You frown, what did he mean? He was here because you paid an eye for an eye, you betrayed him.
“What’s done is done,” you say as if you were unconcerned. “I will testify against you.”
He leans closer across the table, words for your ears only.
“Do you think you’ll be able to handle seeing Jungkook in prison, love?” Namjoon whispers. “Knowing you put him there? It would kill you.”
The pain his words brought forth only proved them to be true. You did have a soft spot for the youngest, always had. You break eye contact first, looking down at the file and turning back and forth a page as if in contemplation but really to cool your nerves.
Were you really doing this? Sending Yoongi, Jin, Hoseok, Jimin, Tae and Kookie to jail because of an angry outburst? Now your emotions had time to settle after the bomb that exploded when you saw Suho; you weren’t so sure.
“I never thought you could betray us like this,” he says solemnly, continuing to manipulate your guilt, but he forgot about your fire. He could almost see the coals ignite in your eyes, a misstep on his part, one he realised when a snarl forms on your lips.
“You. Lied.” You state ferociously. “I asked you if you hurt him and you lied to me.”
“So you decided to have us all arrested,” he continues, “for a man you stated you didn’t care about like that.”
“Don’t you fucking dare,” you seethe, unable to sit with him any longer, pacing the room before you raised a finger to his face. “You played me like a fool Namjoon, and I refuse to play the part anymore.”
“I wanted him dead, little love,” he states in a low voice through gritted teeth. “Do you understand what a mercy-”
“I asked you not to hurt him!”
“Then you underestimated our wrath!” he retorted. “I couldn’t let him go in one piece, and you didn’t need to know.”
“No. You underestimated MY wrath Kim Namjoon!” You burst, slamming the desk with your hand, the sting burning, your face heating more and more with rage as it concealed your heartache. “I am not some docile doll for you to play with, and manipulate and LIE TO! You took my love for granted when it was a damn fucking privilege.”
Your chest heaves with each breath, he stayed composed while you looked like a wild animal finally let out of her cage.
“You think this obsession is love,” your voice broke at the last word, the floods of heartbreak dampening the fires. “And I did too, but it’s fucked up everything.”
His silence was eating you alive, his face giving nothing of his heart away while yours laid bare out between you.
“You know what I’m done,” you breathe, “have fun rotting in jail Namjoon.”
Tears drop out of the corner of your eyes as you walk away, his piercing gaze doing nothing to deter you. He might’ve had power over you once but that was before he betrayed you. You reach for the door handle, tugging, ready to leave him behind until his trial, but the door doesn’t budge. You still, mind blank for a second before panic overwhelms you. You try again with all your might, pulling as hard as you can over and over before releasing your grip with a harsh breath. You take a gulp, calming yourself, he planned this.
You’re not surprised when you hear the sound of the handcuffs undo or the chains hit the floor. Fucking bastard. An alarm started blaring in the building, loud and overwhelming, but it came too late. Red lights flash, the room glowing as if warning you about the oncoming danger.
“Are we done with your outburst little love,” he says coldly, like your grievances were nothing more than a tantrum.
You turn to face him slowly, more tears dropping without a sound, shaking your head at the way his words cut you down to nothing.
When he stands from the seat your heart gallops with fear and panic. Although it’s helpless you turn back to the door, trying with all your might to open it and escape him. The fire alarm blaring does nothing to ease you, you hang onto the door as you feel him approach, tears falling out of your eyes without control.
Fuck, you were stuck here with the man you sent to jail, you were left to his mercy. His presence looms over you, you can feel him a hair's width behind you, not touching you, not really, but he’s so close it’s overwhelming.
It’s when you feel his breath you freeze, your body shutting down with dread. He presses his cheek to your hair, inhaling you softly. The action makes you jolt away, turning to the side but he grabs your wrist tightly. You don’t look at him, you stare into the two way mirror, your cheeks pathetically wet. You were supposed to hold the power in this room, but you could feel it dwindle away to nothing but smoke.
You’re slammed against the door hard, a whimper escaping your lips as your eyes scrunched in pain. You miss the flash of guilt in his eyes, realising he pushed you too hard. An apology on his lips but the glare when your eyes open stops him. He’s seen anger in your eyes before, hate even, for he knew love didn’t come without it. But fear? Never of him, not even in the days when you were undercover and your life was one unveiled secret away from ending. 
“Get away from me,” you seethe, meaning every word, even when you saw the hurt in his eyes. 
Regret, Kim Namjoon never knew the feeling before, but he knew he never wanted you to look at him the way you were. He needed to keep his calm, one wrong push and you would tear him out of your own heart.
Your eyes fly all over the room, trying to piece together a way to gain some distance. Suho… maybe he was still behind the glass. You tug your wrist as hard as you can, taking steps away from him but his hold is relentless. The blare of the alarm stops ringing but the flashing red lights remain, staining the walls like blood pumping.
“Little lo-“ he starts to say with a sigh, he was being patient but there was only so much time left.
“Suho?” You call desperately trying to look through the glass. You know you’ve made a mistake before you even said his name but fear drives people to do stupid things without thinking.
The most notorious criminal in all of Seoul pulls you back against his chest hard. An arm wraps around your waist, the unforgiving grip on your wrist turning lethal. He rests his chin on your shoulder, staring at you through the mirror. The hairs on your skin stood on end at the frightening change in his eyes, danger rolled off of him and you had no choice but to take every wave.
“Do you think he’s there, love?” The corner of his lip lifts in a smirk that makes you think of a snake, the saccharine tone of his voice hypnotising. “Do you think he’s watching us?”
The palm on your hip moves down to your thigh, he squeezes the flesh. You could feel your heart jumping in your throat.
“Should we give him something to watch?” He murmurs seductively, turning his head to bring his lips so close to your neck. The bruising clutch on your wrist is gone only to find its way to your hair, yanking it back to give himself better access.
Your eyes in the mirror are begging but the inner turmoil from his touch is making you question what exactly you’re asking for. Reason tells you it’s for Suho to save you, to grant you escape, but the way you feel a familiar heat swim to your core has you doubting yourself.
“If he was in there,” he whispers, his lips now on your ear, “don’t you think he’d come in here and try to take you from me, love?”
He chuckles to himself, a joke only he can understand.
“Fuck I’d love to see him try.”
His groan has you aching, your body relapsing to what it knows, anticipating the pleasure and pain only they could provide. 
​​“I’m not mad at you for having us arrested, heaven,” he whispers in your ear, gaze softening for a second in the mirror lulling you into a sense of security you couldn’t tell if it was a trap. “In fact I’m a little in awe, a little proud.”
The smirk he gives you seems genuine.
“We deserved it I know,” reassurance fills his voice, he wants you to hear his sincerity. “What I’m mad about, little love…”
The softness is gone, eyes turn piercing, the proverbial snake about to strike.
“Is the fact you let another man touch what’s mine.”
The guttural rumble of his possessive claim sent waves of need down to your cunt, you could feel it pulsing. 
“I’m mine,” you return meekly, trying to find your resolve, but it sounded like a whine.
“Make no mistake Y/n, you’re always going to be mine.”
You didn’t have it in you to argue, not when he sent your eyes rolling back and a shiver down your spine. Fuck he hadn’t even touched you yet, maybe it was true, maybe a part of you would always belong to them, but that didn’t mean all if you did.
“Look at me,” he commands, his breath hitting your neck.
Your blown out eyes meet him in the mirror, that predatory but protective gaze piercing through you. He hums in approval the deep vibration fucking with your senses, making you hazy. 
You both hold eye contact even when you can see the fingers on your thigh stroke soothing circles up your skin. Your lips part with a harsh breath when they rub your mound through the fabric of your panties, the touch light and testing and not nearly enough. 
“You’re fucking soaking wet baby,” he calls you out with a grin.
You grab his wrist when his fingers cup your heat, his thumb soothing circles on your clit. You press against him, the warmth of his chest enveloping your back. You both fit so well together, you were forgetting why exactly you were so angry at him, but simmers of it still remained even through his touch. 
“You know,” he says, opening your leg with his knee to give him more access, “a lot of couples fuck through their problems, should we try?”
He hides his grin, burying his head in you but you can feel it against your skin, the arrogant asshole. 
“You can go and fuck yourself,” you sassed back, lying to yourself that you could be fine if he stopped now, that it wouldn’t leave you a needy mess. 
“But I’d rather fuck you,” he chuckles, breathing you in, savouring the moment while his fingers slide the fabric aside. 
You choke back a moan at the contact of his skin right where you wanted him, the way he spread your wetness until every inch of you was covered in it. 
“You can pretend to regret our relationship all you want, but this,” he emphasises his point by slapping your cunt hard, making you gasp, “still wants me.”
“It wants to get fucked,” you spitefully remark through gritted teeth, “doesn’t have to be you.”
That makes him pause, and you have to bite back the words of displeasure. 
“You’ll pay for that next time love,” he murmurs dangerously. 
“There won’t be a next time,” you try to ridicule him through a laugh but his fingers circle your entrance. 
“You’re lying,” he hums, “next time, I think we should tie you down, make you watch other women touch us in ways only you’re allowed to.”
You bury the fury that ruptures at the image, clenching your jaw to keep from swearing at him and proving the point he was trying to make.
“Maybe then you’d have a semblance of understanding of what you did- the torture you put us through.”
“I wouldn’t care,” you breathe, squirming against his fingers, he needed to shut up and move.
“Liar,” he chuckles knowingly, seeing right through you. Before you, there were many females in his organisation, until his little love demanded he get rid of them all. The memory stretches his grin wider. 
“Why the fuck was it me?” You whisper, your eyes starting to water at the vulnerability of your tone, remembering the same moment he was. “When I went undercover there were so many beautiful women-“
“They’re not you, little love, don’t for a second compare yourself to them,” he kisses your temple softly in reassurance. His face is in your hair, his hand on your throat as you preen to his touch. “You were sweet and addicting with a fire you were trying so desperately to contain.”
He thrusts two fingers in gently, watching your face contort in want in the mirror, smiling at the way your eyes rolled back. You whimper when he squeezes his grip on your neck.
“To think that passion we saw in your eyes was hatred at first,” he smiles as if amused, watching every little reaction you gave him, every proof of love.
“I did,” you confess, pressing your ass against his hard length and making him groan, “I hated you.”
“You were sent to destroy us, love, but instead you reached into our souls and thought there was something worth saving,” he chuckled, nuzzling into you softly as if he wasn’t knuckle deep inside of you, feeling every part he knew so well. “And save us you did, it was so dark before you our little light, how could we ever let you leave?”
“You’re fucking with my head,” you whimper, head falling back to his chest, it rumbles when he laughs.
“Hmmm? I’m definitely fucking your brains out today Y/n,” he promises with a chuckle, kissing your temple again, but emphasising his point when he scissors his fingers reading you for his cock. “If that’s what you mean.”
This was your fault, you knew what you were getting into when you fell for them. You especially knew Namjoon was the worst of them all. You let his soft side brush away his true nature, and while you never forgot his ruthless persona, you put it to the back of your mind. You foolishly thought you had tamed his cunning cold cruel- 
“Oh fuck,” whatever train of thought you had died, the palm of his hand rubbing your clit, stimulating your already aching cunt to the edge. Your parted lips open wider to release a silent scream, his fingers stroking so deep.
You were so close, you could taste it, unable to control the delirious sounds escaping you. So when he stops and slips his fingers away from you, you have to stop yourself screaming in protest. 
“Up against the mirror Y/n,” he commands gruffly, but you don’t move, you were so fucking close. Fuck him, fucking asshole, you were so fucking close. 
He picks you up with ease, pushing you against the wall so your breath fogs the surface. You hear the zip pull down, your forehead falls forward, your core pulsing in anticipation. He grabs your leg, opening you for him, the head of his cock sliding across your folds until you're whining.
“Stop squirming love,” he warns, but you don’t listen, of course you don’t, so he makes you listen. 
The sound you release when he slaps your clit with his hard dick over and over has him questioning his restraint, fuck he wants to just pound into you but you needed to be taught a fucking lesson. 
“Joonie sensitive,” you whine, but he’s relentless, making you cry out over and over. Fuck you could actually maybe cum like this. 
His self control wavers, his jaw clenched with such a force he thinks it’ll shatter. He couldn’t take it anymore, the swell of his head finds your entrance. Inch by inch, he relishes the feeling of your walls hugging him so fucking tight, the pulse of them pulling him in. He leans over you, trying to regain composure but you feel so good he doesn’t want to move, he wants to stay like this forever, inside of you where he belongs. 
You try to push back into him, but he grabs your waist with one hand to keep you still, grinding his hips against you and he knows it’s not enough. 
“Look at you arching your back little love,” he smirks, “Your body knows where you belong, it’s a shame you tried to take it away from me.”
Your hands ball into fists on the mirror, you can’t even look at yourself right now, you can’t stop writhing on the surface, trying so hard to get him to move. You squeeze him hard, making his head fall against you with a grunt. 
“Behave little love,” he warns, “or I’ll show your colleagues just how well you can take me.”
“Make me,” you dare him even though it comes out as a mumble. 
You were dizzy and disorientated and all you wanted was for him to fucking move. He pushes you against the wall hard, every inch of him covering you so you couldn’t budge. You whine, the cold of the hard surface making you seek his warm body, you slot against him like a damn puzzle piece. He was hell bent on torturing you today, as if you hadn’t suffered enough. 
“Joonie move,” you almost sound like a brat, trying to order him around. 
“I’ll move when I’m ready,” he growls animalistically, barely holding himself back, but he needed to savour this.
You do everything you can to break his control, writhing against him like a bitch in heat. He swallows hard when you clench again. He spanks your ass hard in return, the air gets thicker, you find it harder to breathe. You keep still, the sting of your ass satisfying your craving for a moment, but not for long. 
He picks up your skirt, watching himself inside you, watching the beautiful mess you were making. So wet, so perfect, how did you ever think for a second he would ever let this go? The sight is too much, he releases a restrained groan, done with holding himself back. 
His hand grips your cheeks, turning your mouth to his, forcing his tongue down your throat as he finally pulls out only to push back in impossibly deeper. You took every punishing thrust, his presence surrounding you everywhere, even in front of you where his reflection painted the surface. He smothered you with his existence, the heat of him scolding, but you liked it, you craved it. 
“Do you think your ‘friend’ understands who you fucking belong to now detective L/n?” He chuckles deeply watching your fucked out face in the mirror.
He uses his grip under your knee to turn you towards the camera in the corner of the room.
“Think they can all see little love?” He pants. “How well you fucking take it? How good you are for me?”
You shake your head in protest but it feels too good. Your head falls back on him without the mirror to lean against. His fingers find your clit, his sole purpose to make you lose yourself to him. 
“Fuck look at you shaking baby,” he groans, feeling you pulse around him, drawing closer to the edge. “Your poor pussy just needs to come huh?”
You can hear the smirk in his tone, fucking self satisfied prick. 
“Not as badly as you need it,” you taunt back, feeling your defiance flare despite how your body was begging you to behave.. 
“Fuck you might be right,” he groans, going harder, faster. “I’m always going to need it.”
His confession takes you over, the words pushing you so hard you come apart violently, thrashing against him as you unravel, but he holds you tight. He doesn’t let you fall. You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think, all you could feel was him and the burst of pleasure that carried on wave after wave, and you never wanted it to stop.
“This is mine,” he grunts as he comes undone inside of you, fucking his cum deeper until it got through to your soul. 
He was a part of you, and you could try to deny it now with his mistakes on the table, but he was so embedded in the fabric of you he couldn’t see where he began and where you ended. His entire existence was for you, it was only fair your cunt, body and soul belonged to him. Maybe the others too, as an afterthought, but you were his first.
He feels the mess slide out of you as he leaves your warmth, turning you softly so you could lean against him as you catch your breath. He holds you tight, arn arm around your middle like the steel of a bar. He has every intention of letting you recover but the way you look up at him with those glossy eyes confirms the fact he will never be satiated, he will always want more of you even if there was nothing left to give. 
“Our little love,” he breathes in your face, stealing a hard kiss, “our little downfall.”
His mouth held you prisoner again and again, humming pleasantly as you let him devour you in so many ways. His kiss was bruising, hungry, overindulging.
Your eyes search his as he parts reluctantly, your mind still hazy, the bliss of sex still circulating your body.
“Why did you lie to me?” You whisper breathlessly against his lips as you come down, and he can hear the vulnerability in your tone, it makes a guilt spread across his chest that feels almost alien. The way you could make him ache like no one else, he should cast you aside for introducing a weakness in him but he wouldn’t even dream of it.
“I didn’t want to lose you,” he confesses sincerely. “I didn’t want you to hate me.”
“I asked you not to hurt him,” your eyes tear up again, and he curses himself and the existence of Kim Suho.
“I know.”
“But you did it anyway,” you continue, “and then you had the gall to lie to my face.”
You wipe away the tears that fall harshly, your mind clearing. You push him away and fix yourself up, knowing from the glances in the mirror you were a mess.
“You always own up to your actions, right or wrong, you never hide them,” you laugh and you think you must sound psychotic. “The Kim Namjoon… I remember the days you would drop dead bodies in front of me without remorse, without ever feeling the need to explain yourself.”
“I was testing you then,” he grunts, remembering those days well. “I needed to know you had the stomach to be with us.”
“I hated you so much,” you confess, swallowing down a sob. “And for the first time since I fell in love with you Joonie, I can feel that hate grow again.”
His jaw clenches, his fist too. He could feel a threat on the tip of his lips, one where the Captain's head would end up on a plate in front of you for dinner but he holds himself back.
“You don’t mean that,” he says between gritted teeth.
“I had you fucking arrested Namjoon,” you argue back fiercely. “Don't tell me what I mean or don’t mean.”
“You also fucked me after the fact,” he states and the harsh words slap you hard. You did. You let him defile you here only moments ago.
“Old habits die hard.”
“Not with me love,” he dismisses the thought. “Not as long as I’m alive.”
“We’ll see,” you challenge, feeling that earlier conviction rise. 
“Understand something Y/n,” he says seriously, his face solemn and hard in a way you had witnessed rarely. This was Kim Namjoon with something to lose. “You can run, you can fight, you can hate me if you need to, but there isn’t a life worth living for us without you in it.”
He takes his seat back in the interrogation chair, putting his handcuffs back on with ease, all while keeping his eye contact with you. 
“You want me here, you want to punish me,” he continues, “fine, this where I’ll stay until you’re appeased, until you forgive me.”
“I won’t,” you deny, shaking your head. 
“You will.”
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lanadelnegan · 9 months
Note
Hi I’m kinda shy about this one. So the reader has been traveling with dead city cowboy Negan for awhile and she’s liked him for a long time but she’s a virgin and she wants him to take it.
Don't be shy bb, I am a slutttt for dead city Negan. Basically, think of this as if you were in Ginny's shoes, but you're 18.
Our Little Cabin
Dead City!Negan x Reader
Warnings: smut, 18+, NSFW, virgin reader, vaginal sex, fingering, family death (reader's mom), reader seduces the hell out of negan, extreme age-gap (reader is 18, negan is 50ish), masturbating (both), masturbating in front of Negan while he refuses to touch you, daddy-kink, breeding kink, cuddling, pure filth
A/n: If you like slow burn, sexual tension and a "hard to get" daddy Negan, this one is for you. I promise one day I'll finally write a fic without daddy-kink, but today is not that day.
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"Can we go home now, Negan? My legs hurt." I complain, dragging my feet lazily through the leaves.
He stops and sighs, resting his hands on his hips. I stop too and stare at him. That damn cowboy hat.. I swear he wears it just to tease me.. and it's working.
"Yeah, doll. Sun'll be going down soon anyway."
"Ugh thank god." My head falls back dramatically and he chuckles as we start our way back.
Negan took me under his wing a few months ago when some assholes attacked Oceanside, killing my family and everyone I know. I was lucky - if you wanna call it that - enough to escape. I ran into Negan in the woods and it's just been me and him ever since. I'm thankful for him, considering I never had a dad or father figure growing up. My mom was my best friend.. and now she's gone. But at least I have him.
I've grown attached to Negan over the recent months.. But something feels.. different lately. I'm not sure what suddenly changed over the last few weeks, but I've caught myself imagining things about him that I shouldn't. Even touching myself to the thought of him. I feel so guilty afterwards, but I can't stop. I've never been with anyone.. never kissed anyone.. never touched anyone. And my body is screaming at me for it. I can't even look at him anymore without imagining what he looks like under his clothes.
"Why're you so quiet, kid?" He glances at me as we walk.
Ugh, I hate it when he calls me kid.
I shrug. "Just thinkin'."
"About?"
"Doesn't matter." And I've convinced myself it doesn't. I'll never be with someone romantically, because for one.. it's the apocalypse. It's not like I have a school full of hot boys lined up ready to ask me to prom. Not that I'd give them a chance anyway. I'd probably be more into the teachers. And second, the man I want would never think of me that way.
"That's not true."
"You don't even know what I'm thinking, so how can you say that?"
"Anything you think about - worry about - matters to me, y/n. So, spill."
We finally make it back to our little cabin. We've been staying in it for awhile, stocking it with food and supplies. No one has found us yet.. It's kinda nice. But I won't get used to it. Because nothing good lasts forever.
I throw myself on the couch dramatically, as if our walk that we've done a hundred times now could've killed me.
"I don't know... I just, I feel like most kids - people - my age have already experienced more in life that I have."
"Like?"
"Sex." I blurt before I can stop myself. I look to Negan to see his reaction, but he's surprisingly not that alarmed. His eyebrows are raised as he studies me, probably more shocked that I actually had the balls to say that in front of him.
"Listen, I don't really feel comfortable doing the whole birds and bees talk with you."
My cheeks turn pink with embarrassment and I nod disappointedly.
"Sorry, it's just.. I - no one's really talked to me about it before. My mom said she would when I was ready.. but then she.. she.." I fight back the tears. I hate crying. You can't come across weak in the times we live in and I've been forced to be strong my entire life.
He looks at me finally and sighs, holding his arm out for me to come snuggle next to him. It's not the first time he's held me as I've cried over my mom. Won't be the last.
I bury my head in his chest, sniffling, as his hand rubs my back.
"Alright, kid. What do you wanna know?" He gives in, feeling sorry for me.
"Well, I know how it works, but I guess I just wanna know what it feels like." I feel him tense underneath me as he adjusts himself awkwardly.
"No boyfriends at Oceanside?"
"There were boys.. but none that I was interested in."
"You'll find someone when the time is right. You're still young."
"Well you don't have anyone, and you're.. not young."
"Jeez, kid. Thanks." He chuckles. "I did have someone. A few someone's actually. Lost them all to this cruel world." He admits and my heart hurts for him.
"Well, you have me now." I get more comfortable, laying my head in his lap and looking up at him. He shifts uncomfortably but eventually relaxes and even strokes my hair lightly.
"Yeah, I do. And nothing is going to happen to you. You're safe with me, doll." Butterflies swirl around in stomach, but I know he doesn't mean that in the way I wish he did. He sees me as a kid.. hell, as his kid. For a moment my heart sinks from jealously at the "someones" he mentioned. Lucky bitches.
"...Negan.. does it.. feel good?" I blush a little.
"Sex? .....Yeah, doll. It fucking feels good."
"Will you.. show me?" I stare up at him innocently and his hand abruptly stops stroking my hair.
He bends over, planting a kiss on my forehead. "Time for bed, darlin'." He pushes me gently up and off his lap before standing and heading to his room. The cabin is small but we each have our own rooms. His is the smaller one, right across from mine. He wanted me to have the bigger one.
I sit on the couch, feeling defeated and stupid. What was I thinking. I relax on the couch for a little longer, choosing to read a book to take my mind off what just happened. After an hour of barely keeping my eyes open, I close the book and head down the hall towards my room. I stop in front of Negan's door, peaking through the crack. He always leaves his door a few inches open just so he can hear if anything happens. My eyes widen when I notice the sheets are barely covering the lower half of his legs, revealing the rest of his body. His tan torso is exposed, showing his peppery chest hair, and his black boxers are low on his waist. I restrain myself from not jumping him right then.
I eventually make my way back to my room and change out of my clothes, throwing on some shorts and a tank top to sleep in. I can't get the image of Negan's body out of my head and find my hand slowly making its way towards my aching center once I'm finally in bed. I close my eyes, imaging Negan between my legs as I touch myself. I don't bother suppressing my moans, confident that Negan is fully asleep. "Mmm, Negan!" The sound of his name rolling off my tongue as I'm pleasuring myself brings me closer to the edge.
"Oh, Negan. Right there!" My door suddenly swings open and I snap my eyes open to see a worried Negan standing in my doorway.. still in his boxers. My hand flies out of my shorts and I throw the sheets over me.
"Oh my god, can you knock?!"
"I - you yelled for me." He says flustered. I notice the way his face reddens when he realizes what I was doing.
I gently pull the covers off me again and spread my legs a little.
"What are you doing, y/n?" He stands in front of me at the doorway, refusing to look at anything other than my eyes. That's okay.. I bet I can make him look at me down there. I like the challenge.
"What's it look like?" My bite the tip of my finger seductively at him before sliding my shorts to the side, completely revealing my pussy to him.
He glances down with a serious look across his face, like he can't believe I'm doing this. And neither can I. This is so unlike me, but I'm so desperate for him I don't even know how to control myself anymore.
The fact that he's still watching encourages me to continue. I use one hand to pull my shorts to the side and the other to slowly slide a finger through my wet slit. "I just wanna know what it feels like, daddy."
I study him closely, noticing the way his jaw ticks at the nickname. My eyes travel lower and I see his bulge through his boxers. It looks so big, but I'd be determined to make it fit no matter what.
My finger dips inside of me and I arch my back a little and moan, putting on a show for him. He stands with his back against the wall, refusing to move.
I start rubbing my clit slowly and get frustrated when he still isn't reacting. "Negan, please touch me."
He rubs a hand down his face with frustration. "Goddamn it, y/n."
"I just.. I need you. Please." I cringe at my desperate attempt to have him touch me. I need this man so bad it's embarrassing.
"I can't, baby."
"But you like watching me, don't you?"
I take it as a yes when he doesn't say anything and that's all I need before pushing myself over the edge. "Negan!" I cry out as my orgasm rushes through me. Even in the dark, I can see the lust burning through his eyes.
"Go to bed, y/n." He demands but I'm unable to read his tone. Is he mad, proud, annoyed?
I fall asleep at the thought of him giving in and touching me. Maybe if I think hard enough, I'll manifest it.. I heard that shit really works.
Negan's POV:
That girl is gonna be the fucking death of me.
She's been so flirty with me lately and I've been trying to ignore it. But fuck if she's not making it hard. Literally.. I'm hard as a fucking rock right now.
I refuse to touch my dick while thinking about her. She's thirty-fucking-three years younger than me for fuck's sake.
She's confused. She doesn't want me, and she damn sure isn't getting me. Apocalypse or not, it's still fucking wrong.
I drag a hand down my face and sigh. I shouldn't have watched her, but I couldn't look away. She flashed her fucking pussy right in my face and I just stood there.. watching her. Fuck me.
My dick is throbbing and I know I won't be able to sleep until I get some relief. "Fuck it."
I pull myself out of my boxers and immediately start stroking my dick. I think about anything but.. her. Fuck.. y/n. That pretty little wet pussy dripping right in front of me. The way she said my name when she came.
"Ahh, fuuuck. Y/n, fuck." I cum hard and fast and immediately regret it afterwards. Fuck is wrong with me.
I can't - and I won't let myself think about her like that again.
Y/n's POV:
I wake up before Negan and decide to read my book some more in the living room. It's a romance novel that I found one day in an abandoned car. I've read it four times already, but it seems to be the only romance I'll ever get in life, so why the fuck not.
"Morning, sunshine." Negan says sleepily as he walks towards the kitchen next to the living room. He grabs a handful of berries we picked yesterday and tosses them in his mouth before making me a cup full and putting them down next to me.
"Morning. Thanks." I say without looking at him.
He sits on the couch next to me. "You wanna talk about last night?"
My cheeks redden. "Nope."
"Okay, then I will." Great, here comes the lecture. "Y/n, I shouldn't have watched you. We both know that. But, I think you're just confused. It's just been the two of us for months now and you're all young and.. fucking horny and shit. But, us? It can't happen."
I stay silent, pretending to read my book.
"Seriously? The silent treatment? You sure did have a lot to say last night."
I remain stubbornly quiet, popping a handful of berries in my mouth.
"Y/n, I don't understand why you're upset right now. Talk to me."
"I'm not upset." I snap. "I'm embarrassed.. humiliated. I was stupid to think you'd ever be into me."
He sighs and I see his head drop out of the corner of my eye. "Darlin', if I was your age, I'd be all fucking over you. Trust me. Please don't be embarrassed, okay? You are hot as shit and any man your age would be lucky to have you. We can forget it happened if that's what you want." He holds his arm out again, and like always, I snuggle into him.
"I don't want to forget." My hand rests against his white t-shirt and I want so badly to slide underneath it and run my fingers through is tummy hair.
A moment of silence goes by before he finally whispers. "Me neither, doll."
I look up at him, my face dangerously close to his. "I love you, Negan."
His hand reaches up to caress my face as if he's scared to hurt me. "I love you too, baby... Just not like that."
He wipes the tear that falls from my cheek and my heart shatters in my chest.
One month later...
My feelings for Negan haven't faded; I'm just better at not showing them. We've been more touchier than usual... cuddling on the couch, holding hands when we walk, but nothing "inappropriate." We also haven't mentioned that night. It's like it never happened, which still hurts when I think about it.
I get done bathing myself off after dinner and slip into my usual sleepwear before crashing to the bed and pulling my book from the nightstand. I could quote every line in it by now.
I start to drift off right before a loud boom hits right outside my window, following a bright flash of lightning. I try to fall asleep, but every time I doze off, another loud boom jolts me awake. I toss and turn for an hour before deciding to do something I know I shouldn't.
I crack Negan's door open slowly, trying not to wake him and gently slip into bed next to him. I also may or may not have taken my sleep shorts off, leaving me in just my pink panties and black tank top. I ease underneath the covers and lay facing him. He's usually a light sleeper, so between the thunder and me sneaking into his bed, I'm surprised he's not awake.
I'm completely still for a good ten minutes, making sure he's still sound asleep before I make any movements. When he lets out a little snore, I slowly slide the blanket down off of him. I imagine myself reaching over and running my fingers through his thick chest hair. I keep sliding the covers down further and further, careful not to wake him, until I get to just below the waistband of his boxers. My eyes trail from the deep v in his abdomen to the black hairs peaking above his underwear and I let myself imagine what it would be like to touch him right now.. to slide my hand down his boxers and feel him. I've wondered how big he is for so long.. trying to steal glimpses of him through his pants when he walks, or catch him with the covers down while he's sleeping.
I decide to pull the covers slightly further down and my mouth gapes open at the sight. He's hard.. so hard that I can see the outline of him through his boxers as it threatens to poke through his underwear. My mouth waters at his size and I know if he ever put it in me, it would definitely hurt like hell.
After I've stared at it long enough to feel like a total creep, my eyes travel back up his body and I almost yelp when I see his head is slightly turned and his eyes are watching me curiously, as if he's been waiting for me to make a move.
"I - uh.. The thunder.. I got scared." I explain.
"Nice try, kid. Go back to bed."
"Negan, please. Just let me sleep here. Nothing weird, I just.. don't wanna be alone."
He sighs and that alone tells me he's going to let me. I hide my excitement as I turn over, facing away from him and snuggling into the covers. They smell like him.. musk and leather.. and the scent makes me practically feral. He's still on his back, but my ass is barely touching his side. It's hardly anything, and it's not like we haven't cuddled before, but the thought of my ass so close to him sets my insides on fire.
Another lightning strike hits outside his window this time and I flinch a little, not purposely meaning for my ass to press into him even more. He doesn't react and I wonder if he's already asleep.
"Negan...?" I say softly.
"Hm?"
"Will you hold me?"
"Y/n, you are seriously pushing it. Go to sleep."
a few minutes go by before another boom echoes in the distance and I jump a little again.
He sighs heavily and turns over, draping his arm over my waist and pressing his body firmly against mine. His dick is pressed against my ass, but it's not as hard anymore... and that hurts a little.
"Go to fucking sleep."
I hold his hand tightly against my lower stomach and embrace this moment with him. I want him so bad that I can literally feel my vagina throbbing. If it could speak, it would be meowing like a cat in heat right now. I close my eyes and imagine him sliding in me from behind. I get a little too lost in the thought and accidentally arch a little, grinding my ass further into him. I feel him grow to full length against me and the feeling is enough for me to squeeze my legs together, desperate for some pressure down there.
"Where the fuck are your shorts?" He says in a deep and sleepy voice.
I giggle as he breathes heavily into my neck before whispering again.
"What the hell am I gonna do with you, baby?"
"Touch me?"
"I'm already touching you, y/n. My fucking dick is basically between your ass cheeks."
"Not yet.. my panties are in the way." I slip my panties off my legs smoothly and discard them on the floor.
"Y/n." He warns but before he can tell me no, I'm bare from the waist down and pressing my ass back against him.
"Trying to give this old man a heart attack?" He chuckles deeply.
"I can try harder than that if you want me to." I tease.
"Fuck, baby. Go to sleep before I do something we'll both regret."
"Like what?"
"...Like pound that pussy so fucking good you'll never think about another man's cock but mine."
"If you love me, wouldn't you want to be the one to give that to me for the first time? Wouldn't you rather it be you than some asshole who doesn't care about me."
He doesn't answer, so I keep pressing him. I place my hand back on top of his resting against my stomach and slowly slide it lower towards my aching center.
"Don't start something you can't finish, darlin'."
"Oh, I'm very determined to finish." I spread my legs apart slightly to guide his hand over my wet center. His middle finger easily slides between my slippery folds and we both moan at the feeling.
"Goddamn. Fucking dripping for daddy. He growls in my ear before leaning up a little and pressing his lips to my neck from behind. I move my hand from his, letting him take control - finally.
His finger moves back and forth between my wet slit, gliding over my clit every few seconds and making me moan each time. His other hand slips under me and up to my neck, gently squeezing my throat.
"This what you wanted, baby?" He breathes in my ear and chills spread over every inch of my skin.
I nod quickly as I feel my orgasm build from just his light touch. He hasn't even put a finger in me and I'm already on the verge of tears.
As soon as his finger rubs tiny circles over my clit, I lose it.. moaning out for him.
"Thaaat's it, cum for daddy, babygirl."
"Negan!" I scream out as his hand goes from my neck to my mouth, muffling the sound.
"Don't need the dead hearing us, doll."
He kisses my neck once I've soaked his fingers and then brings them to his mouth.
"Mmm, fuck, this pussy tastes so good I might have to eat it everyday."
I turn around in his arms to face him. My hand goes up to hold his face and my fingers play with his gray hair. He kisses my forehead before meeting my gaze.
"This is so wrong, baby." He strokes my cheek gently.
"Can't be wrong if it feels this good."
He tilts my chin up to press his lips against mine. It's so much better than I ever imagined. He knows exactly what he's doing, and even though I've never kissed anyone, he takes the lead and I'm thankful for it. I moan into his mouth when he deepens the kiss, his hand gripping the back of my neck now. The feeling of is tongue in my mouth makes me clench my legs again, and I think he notices because his hand on my neck travels lower until it reaches the back of my thigh. He lifts my leg over his and his hand slides to my ass, squeezing lightly before his long fingers tease my entrance from behind.
His dick is pressed into me painfully and I can't wait any longer. I need to touch him. Feel him inside me.
I reach my hand inside his boxers and pull out his big, hard cock. I try looking at it under the covers between us.
"You've never seen a dick before, doll?"
I shake my head no and admire him. It's so perfect.
He closes his eyes as I stroke it. "Fuck. So innocent, baby."
He kisses my neck while I pull on him even more. "You sure you want this, baby?"
I nod. "Yes, please. I've been wanting this for so long, Negan."
He lines himself up at my opening, my leg still draped over his so that he's in between my legs.
"Once we do this, you're mine darlin'."
"I'm already yours."
That's all he needs to hear to finally push the tip past my opening. I've never had anything inside of me other than a finger, and the feeling of his thick head pushing through me and stretching my walls has my mouth falling open.
"Tell me to stop, baby."
"No, keep going. Please." I beg.
He slides deeper and deeper until he's buried inside me completely. He stays still, letting me adjust. and kisses me through the pain. A pain that feels so good. I kiss him back hard, scratching his back while grinding my waist pathetically against him repeatedly. I moan in his ear and give him the go ahead to start moving. He fucks me deep and slow at first, letting me get used to him.
"So fucking tight baby."
He growls in my ear and vibration of his deep voice sends chills through me again until my pussy flutters around him.
"Holy fuck, doll. Do that again."
I squeeze my cunt around him again and he lets out the hottest moan I've ever heard. Not that I've heard a man moan before, but I just know that his are the hottest.
"I won't last if you keep doing that, baby." He warns and the thought of him shooting his load inside me has my head spinning.
After a few more thrusts that have my eyes rolling to the back of my head, I feel myself reaching my orgasm again and hold him against me so I can grind against him and ride it out.
"Negan, Negan, oh my god.” I breathe out as I push myself so hard against him that my clit rubs against his pubic bone creating the friction I need to send me over the edge.
"Goddamn." He thrusts into me faster and harder. "Gonna make me fucking cum already, baby." He tries to pull out but you tighten your leg around him so he can't pull away.
"Cum in me, Negan. Please." I cry desperately. "I love you. I want all of you."
He kisses me hard before his hips come to a halt. He practically yells out when he shoots his load deep inside me. "Ah, fuck! Babyyy."
The sound of Negan cumming is even hotter than his moaning from earlier - I didn't think it could get any better but holy shit. We're both a tangled, sweaty mess while our hearts beat out of our chest.
We eventually fall asleep with our lips still touching and his softening dick still inside me.
I don't even worry about the possibility of what could happen in the future.. I know I'm safe with Negan.. Here in our little cabin. He gently strokes my hair as we drift back off to sleep.
BOOM. The thunder crashes outside again, but this time I don't even flinch.
"You're not scared of thunder, are you, doll?"
I smile against his chest. "...No."
The End.
Brb, going to take an ice bath.
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transmascissues · 4 months
Text
today, my coworkers’ refusal to see me as a man put one of our patients in a position where they felt unsafe for the third time. i’ve been at this job for less than two months total. i don’t even care about getting misgendered anymore, i just want the people we’re supposed to be taking care of to feel comfortable around me.
i work at a hospital where we have to supervise our patients in a lot of vulnerable situations. there are safeguarding rules in place for certain things that male employees aren’t allowed to be present for when it comes to female patients. and yet, the people training me and telling me what to do have repeatedly put me in situations where i’ve been forced to do things that the female patients aren’t comfortable with me doing. and because they have repeatedly failed to teach me the rules for doing my job as a man, i have no way of knowing when i’m crossing one of those lines unless one of the patients tells me.
i’ve had to watch a victim of SA stare at me in abject terror as my coworkers asked her to strip naked with me still in the room. it took several minutes for her to even be able to speak enough to ask if i could leave the room. i found out after that she broke down crying the moment i walked out. my biggest regret is that i didn’t realize what was happening fast enough to leave before she ever had to say something, because she shouldn’t have had to say it. i never should’ve been allowed in the room in the first place, because that’s not something male employees are supposed to be present for. but i didn’t know that yet, because i was training and i thought surely, they wouldn’t train me to do something that directly violated their own safeguarding rules. that moment was the first time, and it’s haunted me ever since, but it wasn’t the last time. not only did it happen for the third time today — it almost happened for the fourth, and would have if someone hadn’t spoken up to say they should pick someone else. i care for these people so deeply, it’s why i took this job, and i’m so tired of hearing the fear in their voices when they have to ask me not to do something i never should’ve been told to do.
i’m very used to the personal discomfort of being misgendered. i willingly deal with it a lot at work as well as in other situations, not because i’m in the closet (at this point in my medical transition that would be impossible), but because it’s such a frequent occurrence with my coworkers that we would never get anything done if i took the time to correct them every time. but to see it get to the point of causing such visceral discomfort in other people? people i’m supposed to be taking care of and keeping safe? that’s something else entirely, and i’m fucking exhausted.
and after all of that, some of them still look at me like i have two heads when they tell me what to do and i say “i can’t do that, only female employees can” because i’m learning now. clearly i’m already seen as a man by our patients, but my coworkers would still rather put them in an unsafe situation than just train me as a man.
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riality-check · 11 months
Text
Eddie needs this to go perfectly.
He’s… okay, saying he’s not an anxious person would be a lie. Eddie is very acquainted with the fight or flight instinct, with the latter of those two options being far more familiar. He’s vaguely obsessive and twitchy and, frankly, puts way too much thought and time into planning one-shots, nevermind regular campaign sessions.
Majority of the time, he likes to have control of a situation. There are reasons for that, plenty of which he knows, some of which he’s gone to therapy for, and more that are on the bedroom and currently irrelevant side of things.
The relevant side of things is the guy in front of him who doesn’t have any sort of ear protection on.
Eddie should mind his business. He really should. Corroded Coffin isn’t even headlining. They’re the openers for the tour of a much bigger band that noticed them and asked if they wanted to tour with them and Archie fangirled so hard he passed out. It was a whole thing.
Still, it’s their first real tour, and Eddie is a control freak, and he needs it to be perfect, which means no one gets hurt. This random guy - probably a roadie of some sort from how he’s plugging cables into something Eddie doesn’t know the name of - not having any sort of ear protection counts as someone maybe getting hurt.
Eddie doesn’t even know him, but he can’t have that happen.
Hell, this guy’s friend has her earplugs looped around her neck on a string like Eddie does. But Hottie - yeah, he’s hot and Eddie’s queer with a healthy sex drive, get over it - has none in sight.
That’s a problem. Eddie can’t have problems, not tonight, not before the first show.
“Hey!” he calls, walking over to Hottie and his friend, who are setting up equipment away from the stage. “You gotta have something for your ears, dude!”
Hottie and his friend exchange a look that Eddie can’t make heads or tails of.
“Thanks man,” Hottie says, and that nickname applies to his voice, too. “But I’m good.”
Eddie frowns. “You need to protect your hearing.”
“Trust me,” Hottie says. “I’ve worked a lot of gigs. Never wore anything then, won’t wear anything now, probably won’t wear anything at the next one.”
Okay. It’s fine. Eddie should walk away now. He’s totally capable of walking away. It is, quite obviously, the better alternative to this circular conversation.
But Hottie is gonna hurt himself this way. Potentially really badly if it’s not a one time thing. This is a metal show, for G-d’s sake. He’ll do some serious damage over time.
Eddie needs this to go perfectly, and for things to go perfectly, he can’t be responsible for that.
“I don’t think you get it,” he says. “You’re gonna destroy your ears that way, especially if you do this for a long time. This show is gonna be really intense, hell, the whole tour is! You can get cheap shit at the hardware store, it’s better than nothing-”
At the beginning of his rant, lecture, whatever, Hottie stares right at him. He has a really intense stare. Pretty brown eyes set in a prettier face with even prettier hair on top of his head. Eddie gets distracted by all that pretty and by trying to make his point.
And he doesn’t notice until halfway through that Hottie isn’t looking at him anymore. He’s looking at his friend.
Eddie looks at her, too. Looks at her confused and focused expression. Looks at her hands moving rapidly.
Oh. G-d.
Hottie’s deaf, isn’t he?
“Trying my best but I’m not fluent, Steve,” she says. Her hands pause, and she looks down at them, confused.
Hottie - Steve - shrugs, and his hands move as he talks. “I’m not either. You were doing pretty good, though. I think. Or our mistakes just line up that well.”
“What’s the sign for reverb? It’s the last word he said.”
“No clue. You can just fingerspell it.”
“I can’t remember R.”
“How do you forget R? It’s in your name, Robin!”
The friend - Robin - throws her hands up. “You know I get it mixed up with X!”
Eddie wants to die. This is it. He’s going to melt into a puddle due to sheer embarrassment, fifteen minutes before the doors open to let in the biggest crowd Corroded Coffin has ever played for.
What a shitty way to go.
“I’m so sorry,” he says. “I didn’t-”
Steve cuts him off. “Normally, I can lip read enough to get the gist. But you speak too fast and trip over your words.”
Ouch. Okay.
“I do lights,” he continues. “Robin does sound. We know what we’re doing, and we don’t need you to tell us how to do our jobs, even if you mean well.”
Seriously?
Eddie should have minded his business. He knows that. But G-ddamn, that’s blunt.
He’s saved, thankfully, from digging himself into a bigger hole.
“Eddie!” Jeff hollers from the stage. “Get your ass over here!”
He turns to walk away, then turns back to Steve and Robin. “Sorry,” he says again.
He turns back around before he can see their reactions and runs back toward the stage. Intimately familiar with flight, and all that.
Shit. First night of tour, and he’s already made an enemy of the light and sound people.
And the light guy is hot.
Really hot.
And he hates Eddie.
This is gonna be a long few weeks.
Now with a continuation and a part 3!
ao3
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cmncisspnandmore · 13 days
Text
All hands on deck.
Pairings: Poly!141 X F!reader.
Warnings: fluff, mentions of pregnancy complications (not in detail)
Word Count: 3209
Part 2
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“Can you guys please stop screaming at each other?” You call out as you press your phone to your ear. The sounds of children yelling continued down the hallway, clearly they didn't care what you had to say. You let out a frustrated sigh, as the line continues to ring. 
Where the hell were they?
It rings another 3 times as you lean against the bathroom counter, closing the door to try to block out the sounds from down the hall. It was going to cut to voicemail soon, just like the last 3 times you called. You start to pull the phone from your ear when it finally stops ringing and a very breathless voice answers.
“Sorry Mo Chridhe, I didn’t hear my phone ringin’” Johnny breathes.
“It's fine,” you mumble into the receiver, your hip bumping into the smooth quartz counter. 
“It’s not, you sound defeated, what's wrong?” He asks, the sound of a bag clinking filters over the phone call. 
“They just won't stop fighting, they’ve been at each other's throats all day, i don't know what to do anymore.” You sniffle, your eyes filling with tears, you blink them back staring at the ceiling light in effort to keep them at bay.
“They’re just kids, Love, siblings fight. Is that really all that's botherin’ you?” 
You chew your bottom lip, “yeah I guess,” you sniffle.
There's another noise on the other line, followed by a gruff voice, “Who are you talking to Sergeant?” Price's voice is slightly garbled over the line. 
“Oh just some bonnie lass,” Johnny replies cheekily.
“Hogging the wife all to yourself?” Kyle's voice is there too.
“Ain't hoggin nothin! She called me,” Soap defends himself. There's more static over the phone call. “Hey! Gimme back me phone LT!” 
“Love?” Simon's gruff voice fills the line. 
“Hi, Si…” you whisper, as the others bicker in the background. Johnny and Kyle arguing over who gets to talk next, and Price’s firm voice telling them to shut up.
“What's wrong?” Simon asks, “are the kids okay?”
“Yeah god, sorry, they're fine, they just won't stop fighting. It's driving me nuts, I think they just miss you guys.” You sigh as there's a loud crash from the living room, followed by even more yelling. “They’re gonna destroy our house..” 
“We’re coming home,” and suddenly the line goes dead. You pull the phone away from your ear and look down at the screen. Your home screen staring back at you, it was a picture of the 5 of you. You were at the beach, Simon sitting under an umbrella with a book in his hands. You lean back against his legs, as one of his hands twirls a strand of your hair. You’re looking over at Johnny who was burying Kyle in the sand. Price standing behind them watching the whole thing with a smile on his lips. 
You remember that day like it was yesterday even though it was almost 7 years ago now. It was the day that they all asked you to marry them, they had presented you with a large round diamond ring, the band containing their birthstones, each of their initials engraved on the inside. You had sobbed hysterically when they proposed. Each man took a few moments to tell you how you impacted their life in the best way. You never imagined you would marry one of them let alone all of them. While most people didn't think it was conventional and you often got strange looks when you told people you had not 1 but 4 husbands, you didn't care. Each one of your husbands gave you something you needed, and you did the same for them. 
A child crying pulls you from your thoughts and you yank open the bathroom door. Your eyes landing on your 4 year old son, Theo running down the hall. His bottom lip is bleeding, as tears roll down his light brown cheeks. He runs to you, small arms up in the air as he wails. 
“Theo what happened?” You lean down catching his small body as he crashes into you, smearing blood, snot and tears onto your baby blue t-shirt.
“Issly hit me!” he cries, his little hands coming to wipe at his eyes. You gently pull down his bottom lip, seeing only a small cut on the inside. A frown on your face as you glance back up at the doorway in which Theo ran from. 
“Isla!” You call, picking the small child up and resting him on your hip. He presses his face into your shoulder, his messy brown curls tickling your chin. It only takes a moment for Isla to come around the corner, her blue eyes cast down at the ground. Shoulders slumped, light brown hair covering her face as she walks down the hallway towards you.
“Why did you hit Theo?” You sigh, and she looks up. She was pretty much a mirror image of Price. She had his blue eyes and nose, and if it wasn't for the shape of her lips you wouldn't think she was even yours.
“I didn't mean to hit him! He wouldn't stop climbing on me, I asked him to stop 3 times,” she looks at Theo, and then back to you. 
“Isla you’re 6 years old, Theo is 4, he’s a lot younger than you, if hes doing something you don't like and he won't listen to you, you come and tell me. You don't use your hands to hurt someone. It's not nice. Now take Theo into the kitchen and help him clean up.
“Yes, Mama,” she nods, and takes Theo from your arms, carrying him past you to the kitchen. You sigh, running your fingers through your hair as you walk down the hall to the living room. It was a disaster, couch cushions on the floor, toys all over the place. A vase of flowers knocked over. A curtain rod half pulled off the wall. 
“Seriously?” You mutter, your eyes flickering about the room and finally landing on Joseph and Kira. Kira sits on the coffee table, a book open in her lap, blonde hair pulled back into a messy french braid. Joseph sits next to her, poking her which she ignores.
“Kira, c’mon, stop reading your dumb book and come outside with me!” Joseph whines at his twin. 
“It’s not dumb, you’re dumb.” She snaps back, neither having realized you're standing in the doorway. 
“I’m gonna tell mom you're being mean to me again,” Joseph pushes her harder, and she snaps her book closed. 
“Then I’ll tell Da that you're the one who broke his Rugby trophy.” 
“You’re so boring! I hate you!” Joseph yells.
“Enough!” You snap, and both children's eyes meet yours. Joseph’s blue eyes wide as he realizes you heard their conversation. Kira’s brown eyes looking between you and Joseph. 
“Kira, Joseph you are 7 years old. Can you please start acting like it? When i tell you to watch your younger siblings i mean it, but yet somehow Isla hit Theo and gave him a split lip and my living room looks like a bomb went off. Not to mention all of you have been fighting for the last week and I‘m not putting up with it anymore!” You press your hand into your forehead, a headache starting to pound behind your eyes.  You shake your head slightly looking back at your twins. They were fraternal twins, but had two fathers. Kira was clearly Simons with her light blonde hair and brown eyes, Joseph resembled Johnny, right down to his mischievous personality. They were the first children to be born into your family. Their very existence became known on your wedding day. 
You weren’t overly surprised that it was twins either, they ran in your family. The only real shock was when they had their newborn screening after they were born and they had wildly different blood types. Kira was B- Positive, like Simon, and Joseph was O- Positive like Price and Soap. Even though it didn't matter to you who their father was, you still had genetic testing done for each child. Just in case something happened and they needed blood, or god forbid an organ. 
The doctors had called them Heteropaternal Superfecundation, an anomaly when twins have two different biological fathers. Now as you stare at Medical anomalies, you sigh. They were your oldest, the ones you counted on to help out with small things. “What is going on with you two lately?” You sit on the edge of the table.
“We miss Dads…” Kira mumbles, looking down at her book.
“We all do,” Joseph adds. 
Tears well in your eyes, “I know it's hard when they’re away, and I know I'll ask you to help me more when they’re gone. I miss them too. But I think theyre coming home, at least that’s what Daddy said.”
“They're coming home? All of them?” Kira asks, her brown eyes widening.
“I think so, I called Da, and then I heard Dad and Papa, and then suddenly it was Daddy on the phone, as he said that they were coming home.” You shrug, and your children brighten at the fact that their fathers were coming home.
“ISLA! THEO! They’re coming home!” Joseph yells as he scrambles off the coffee table. Two sets of small feet race down the hall, and soon four of your children are standing in the messy living room. 
“Theo, you pick up your toys, Isla help me put the couch back together, Joseph you can clean up the vase,” Kira turns to you, “Mama could you help with the curtain?”
“Oh so you want to clean up since your fathers are on their way?” You raise an eyebrow, and all of your children nod. 
“Please mama, They’ve been on base for a month now..” Joseph blinks at you with his big blue eyes. 
“Fine, I'll fix the curtain but it doesnt mean youre off the hook for your behaviors.” 
It only takes an hour for the living room to be put back in order, it was amazing what your children could get done if they had the motivation to do so. You walk up the stairs to the second floor of your home, and gently push open the door to one of the bedrooms. The room is dark, and cool, a sound machine humming in the corner. You peek into the dark room, the light wood crib in the middle of the far wall, a small figure sleeping in the middle on their back. Hands up by their head as they sleep. 
Your youngest, Hope, was 9 months old, she was your miracle baby. You had always wanted a large family, to give each of your husbands as many children as they wanted but it hasn't worked out that way. While you were pregnant with Theo you had some severe complications that had left you on death's doorstep. You had actually died once while in labor with him, causing him to be born by emergency C-Section. You woke up to 4 very concerned Husbands who spent the next 2 months by your side as you recovered. They had all been hesitant for more children after that. Each of them worried that your body wouldn't be able to handle another pregnancy. But after a few years you had convinced them that you would be fine, you wanted more kids. It took almost a year of trying and a few miscarriages for you to get pregnant with Hope. 
Thankfully your pregnancy had gone smoothly, no complications, and she was born on christmas day. Now she was a happy and healthy 9 month old, one of the easiest babies you had. She slept through the night almost immediately and rarely fussed. 
She stirs as you walk into the room, her little blue eyes blinking open, a smile forming on her little lips as she sees you. She gives you a gummy smile, two bottom teeth on display proudly as she turns over in her crib, pulling herself up to stand in her crib. 
“Well hi baby, did you have a good nap?” You smile at her, as she bounces in her crib. Tiny baby hands gripping the bars, as you walk over to her. You scoop her up into your arms, baby babble filling your ears as she claps.
“Your dads are on their way home! Papa and Daddy and Da and Dad, yeah, are you excited to see them?” You kiss her chubby cheek, and she laughs. 
The sound of commotion downstairs makes you pause, a chorus of voices floating up the stairs. They’re home. 
“Daddy! PAPA!” Isla yells.
“DA! DAD! PAPA! DADDY!” Joseph and Kira join in.
“Dadadadada!” Theo’s tiny voice is there too, his screeches growing louder as you get to the top of the stairs.
“Where's your mother?” Price asks, his commanding voice cutting through the excitement of the group.
“She went to get Hope up from her nap,” Joseph responds, your footsteps on the stairs. You round the corner into the front entrance of your home. Simon holds Theo in his arms as Theo pulls the skull balaclava over his head. Joseph and Isla hang off Kyle and Johnny, their arms wrapped around their waists as they hug them. Kyle strokes Islas hair back from her face as he smiles down at her. Joseph's face is pressed into Soap's stomach, as his hands gently squeeze his shoulders. John is crouched in front of Kira, he smiles at her, his fingers tapping the tip of her nose as she smiles. 
“Hi Lovie,” Simon is the first to speak. His brown eyes search your face before they settle on Hope who is in your arms, chewing on her chubby little hand, drool trailing down her chin and soaking her onesie.
“Hi,” You smile, your eyes burning with unshed tears. Your gaze trailing over each of them as they reunite with their children. 
God how you missed them.
“Joseph, Kira, Isla, take Theo and Hope to the backyard and play for a few moments. We need to talk with Mama, okay?” Kyle says softly, and the older children nod. Kira comes over and grabs Hope from your arms, she quickly walks Hope over to each of her fathers and allows them all to kiss her on the head before she brings her out to the garden. Joseph, Isla and Theo follow after them. Theo holding onto Josephs hand as he asks him to push him on the swing. 
The door to the garden closes with a soft click and the room is quiet for once. You stare at each of your husbands for a moment. Your throat tight, eyes burning, lower lip wobbling. It’s Soap who moves first, boots echoing on the tile floor as he grabs your waist and pulls you into his warm chest. 
“No tears Mo Chridhe, we’re home now,” he speaks into your hair, dropping a kiss onto your head. He squeezes you tightly before his hands come up to cup your cheeks. He gently kisses your lips, and then moves to the side. Allowing Kyle to take his place, Kyle's soft hands slip into your hair at the base of your neck as he studies your tearful eyes.
“Why didn't you say something sooner Baby?” He asks softly, his lips brushing over your closed eyes.
“Didn't want to bother you guys… I know your training recertification is important…” You sniffle.
“Nonsense,” Price grumbles, coming to stand next to Kyle. Kyle releases you and John pulls you into him. His beard tickles your cheek as he leans down to press his lips against your neck. He places feather light kisses along your neck up to your jaw and then finally your lips. “You are far more important, all you had to do was call and I would have made arrangements to do it at a later time.”
“I know.. I just.. I don't know,” you look down at the socked feet. 
“Johnny and I will go watch the kids in the garden,” Kyle says, giving your shoulder a soft squeeze. 
“Don’t forget that you’re important too, if you need us tell us. You can't shoulder everything alone. If you need a break you have to tell us Darling,” Price looks into your eyes, and you nod. “I’ll go fix us some dinner, yeah?” 
He kisses you again, before the three of them disappear into the rest of the house. You can hear the children laughing as Kyle and Johnny join them in their games. The faint sound of the radio coming from the kitchen as John starts to cook dinner for the family. Only you and Simon remain in the front entrance. 
His brown eyes study you as he leans against the door, his arms crossed over his chest. To anyone else they would think he was angry, his expression blank as he looked you over from head to toe. You shift under his gaze, and wipe the stray tears from your cheeks. You finally let out a small breath, your eyes meeting Simons. 
“How do you know everytime?” You finally ask, and the corner of Simon's mouth ticks up.
“Don't know what youre talking about Lovie,” he grumbles as he pushes off the door and crosses the room in a few easy strides.
“Yes you do, you always know when I'm at my breaking point. I said 2 sentences to you, and yet you knew I needed all of you home,” you look up at him. The height difference between the two of you forcing you to crane your neck.
“I just know you, the others do too. We all knew something was wrong after we realized we had missed calls from you. I just wasn't going to listen to you try to tell us you’d be okay. They’re far more considerate of your wishes than I am.” Simon muses, his hand coming to brush a strand of hair from your face. 
“What about your training?” You ask, leaning into his palm.
“Laswell will take care of it. We have more important things to take care of.”
“Simon…” You start to argue but he cuts you off, his hands coming to your waist as he yanks you closer, his lips on yours, silencing your argument. 
“I was given orders to prepare you a hot bath,” he pulls away. “And then we’re all going to eat dinner together. Your husbands will bathe and put the older children to bed as you feed Hope her last feed, and then I’ll put her to bed. While i put her to bed, the others will be taking care of you. Okay?”
“You don't have too… you’ve all been bus-” 
“Lovie, enough. We might be busy at base, but youre taking care of the most important things in our lives everyday. Without break. We work a lot, but you never get to stop. Your job is never ending, let us take care of them for tonight. Let us show you how much we appreciate you. Besides, we’ve missed you… so please, let us.” Simon cups your face, his thumb brushing your bottom lip.
You give a small nod. “Okay.”
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Part 2
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ccsainzleclerc5516 · 5 months
Text
Another On The Way
Pairing: Carlos Sainz x Reader (y/n)
Warnings: none
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Y/N's pov
"No, no, no.." I covered my mouth with my palm as the tears ran down my cheeks in disbelief. I wanted to scream when I saw two lines appearing on the pregnancy test I had just taken. I put all my hopes in the fact that the test would be negative, considering the fact that only 5 months ago I gave birth to our beautiful little girl Sofia.
"Amor, is it done?" Carlos asked knocking on the door. I didn't even try to pull myself together before I opened the door in front of which he was standing holding Sofia in his arms. I opened the door and stared at him with teary eyes sobbing.
"Mi amor que paso por que lloras?" He asked worriedly placing his free hand on my cheek wiping away the tears with his thumb.
"Carlos, it's positive. I'm pregnant again." I broke down crying out loud into his chest.
"Hey, hey..shh." He pulled me into a hug rubbing my back. "Baby, it's okay, it's gonna be okay." He tried to comfort me, but at that moment I was inconsolable.
"How could we be so careless? We just had a baby.."
"Amor but I thought we didn't want to stop at just one child. We talked about how we wanted more."
"I know and I do want more, but I just wasn't expecting this to happen so soon. I'm not ready yet, I'm so scared."
Sofia was born 3 weeks before her due date because towards the end of the pregnancy things started to get complicated. in the middle of the night I was woken up by severe pain and had to go to the hospital immediately. The birth was laborious, long, difficult and painful. If Carlos hadn't been next to me in those moments, I don't know how I would have endured it. Luckily, in the end, everything went well and Sofia was born healthy and beautiful. I was so exhausted from giving birth that I was coming for days, Carlos had to help me walk and even get out of bed because I couldn't do it myself. but today when I look at Sofia and her big brown eyes, the same as Carlos's, I know that it was all worth it for her.
"I understand that you are scared, but you know that we are in this together as in everything else. I promise to be here every step of the way again and I promise you that you have nothing to fear." He said placing a kiss on my forehead. I'm so lucky to have him by my side through anything in life. He is my rock and as long as we are together I know deep down that I don't have to worry about anything because he will always be there for me.
"I know, but I just wanted us to give all of our attention to Sofi. I don't want to be away from you anymore and I want Sofi to be with you as well, she is so small, she needs you as much as I do." I sob looking at Sofia in his arms who playing with her tiny hands.
Towards the end of the 6th month of pregnancy, I could no longer go to the races with Carlos. it just became too strenuous and risky to go, so the doctor advised me to stay home and rest. I was in our house in Madrid all the time and I missed him terribly and it was very difficult without him, and my hormones and mood swings were not helpful at all. Thank God he was at home that night when I went into labor.
"Mi corazon te lo prometo, I'll make sure to be with you every spare second when I'm not racing. She already feels how much we love her and she will never lack for anything. I need you to be okay, baby." I take Sofi from his hands in mine and kiss her on the head, rocking her as she started to frown a little.
"I love you so much Carlos. Thank you. I'm so lucky that you're mine." My tears finally dried and I took a deep breath, now much calmer and happier than a few minutes ago.
"Todo para mis niñas. Te amo tanto." He says pressing his lips against mine and wrapping his arms around both of us. He always made everything so easy and he always let me know that I was forever safe with him.
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calisources · 3 months
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𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.
All sentences on this memes are taken from different sources of literature, television and media about enemies to lovers trope and enemies and lovers trope with some angst thrown into the mix. Change pronouns, names and locations as you see fit.
Does it hurt? Loving someone who can’t love you back?
Break his crown, break his throne, rip his monarchy apart.
What are we doing?
You are capable of making my blood boil like no one else, and yet I feel a magnetic pull I cannot explain.
It’s not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand
Like whether you should kiss me or punch me.
Most of all, I hate you because I think of you. Often. It’s disgusting, and I can’t stop.
You make me feel things that shouldn’t exist. 
Whatever this is, we should stop. I have been. . .compromised.
There’s a fine line between love and hate, and maybe we crossed it a long time ago.
I never thought I could detest someone so much, until the day I realized I was falling in love with you.
We may fight like enemies, but deep down, we both know that our hearts beat for each other.
You infuriate me, challenge me, drive me crazy, but damn it, at the end of the day, I can’t resist you.
It’s that tension that makes this so irresistible.
You’re like an addiction I can’t break free from, even if I wanted to.
You’re the thorn in my side, the fire in my veins, and I can’t help but crave your presence in my life.
Loving you feels like a dangerous game.
You infuriate me, yet you’re the only one who truly understands me.
You scare me to my core.
There’s no denying the fire that burns between us.
If any two men desire the same thing, which nevertheless they cannot both enjoy, they become enemies.
I thought we had agreed not to lie to each other.
Tell me you don’t feel this between us. Look at me and don’t look away while saying it.
You claim me your enemy and yet, let me crawl into your bed every night.
You are the bane of my existence, and the object of all my desires.
Do you even know all the ways a lady can be seduced? The things I could teach you.
I did not asked for this. To be plagued by these feelings.
I tried to deny it for so long, but I don’t want to anymore.
Follow me around. Look at me as if you find me fascinating. Touch me, and say nice things to me. And then, you pull away as if you did nothing at all.
There’s no need for these games.
Well, you know that old saying, “Keep your friends close and make out with your enemies.
You read me wrong.  I wasn't trying to lead you on.
Is that all I am to you? A resource to be used in your scheme?
Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything more than you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear all the time. But I just- I can't do it tonight, okay?
 You'll lay a man out for implying I'm a whore, but you keep calling me one to my face.
So, the only man that can have you is one who's already tried to kill you. That's logic.
It's like a little death. Several, in fact.
Oh Max, if you really hated Kyle you couldn't have slept with him.
So go on... kiss me... kill me... Do something.
I've often wondered what this moment would be like. Me... you tied up. 
Once this is over, we should really have angry sex.
Hate and love are not so very different things. Both are focused upon another. Both are intense. Both are passionate.
It just means you'd rather be with someone you hate... than be with me.
She's difficult and irritating, and she tries to hit me all the time.
We have a deal, what are you so afraid of?
Only I can hurt you this way. Only I can kiss you like this. 
You dragged me down and now I can’t quit you. 
This is the last time we do this.
Last night was also the last time. And yet, you keep coming back.
Better my mouth than my knife, right?
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theemporium · 9 months
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just saw your last post about Lando filming and now I need to read a smut fic about it like him trying to control himself but he just has to fuck reader so he stops filming and she's like "why'd you stop" and he's like "you're too hot babe" or something along these lines
thank you for requesting!🫶🏽
.
Lando didn’t have many regrets in his life, but this was definitely up there.
To be fair, the tripod you had bought had been on its last legs for a while (no pun intended), and you had been meaning to invest in a new and better one for a while. But like most things, you had kept putting it off until eventually the tripod fell apart and you were left with finally purchasing a new one after so many weeks of hoping tape and books tucked under the legs would be good enough.
The issue was that it wouldn’t arrive for another few days, which left you tripod-less when you were scheduled to release a video in the next two days. You had tried balancing it on the edge of your nightstand, on a massive pile of textbooks and even a chair. 
But the angle was never right and it was starting to frustrate you. 
So, Lando being the good boyfriend he was and being home in between races, he offered to be your cameraman. It would be a different angle, a more perspective side rather than your camera being set up at the end of your bed. It would be good, or so he kept telling you. And he wanted to help you, he really did. 
But he really didn’t think his offer through because now he was standing at the edge of your bed, gripping your camera between his fingers and pretending like his cock wasn’t rock hard and straining against the fabric of his sweatpants. 
“Fuck,” you cried out, your head thrown back against the pillows. 
You looked wrecked. You had been teasing yourself for the better part of the last half an hour, and he was forced to watch every single second of it. He was forced to watch the way you laid across your silk sheets in the white two piece lace set that he definitely had never seen before. He was forced to watch you tease and play with yourself, a vibrator placed over your clothed cunt as you whined and preened until you soaked through the material. He was forced to watch as you sunk your fingers inside yourself, letting out needy gasps that he just wished was his name. 
He was forced to watch and he was quickly losing his patience. 
But his breaking point was when when you looked at him, your lids hooded and your lips swollen from biting on them so much—-and he just couldn’t take it.
You barely had time to take in the fact he shut the camera off, placing it on your desk before he was crawling over you, his lips pressed against yours in mere seconds. You instantly sunk into his embrace, moaning in relief as you felt his tongue swipe along your bottom lip.
“What are you doing?” you murmured breathlessly, your eyes fluttering shut when he began to leave a trail of kisses down the column of your neck.
“Couldn’t fucking take it anymore,” he grumbled, his teeth scraping along the spot at the base of your neck that had you arching into him. “Watching you in this little fucking number, whining and begging and looking so pretty.”
“Lando,” you gasped.
“I needed to taste you, Angel,” he mumbled as he pulled back enough to look down at you, to take in the way your needy eyes looked up at him. His eyes never left yours as he reached for your hand, your fingers still wet and glistening with your arousal. His head dipped down, his mouth wrapping around your fingers as he licked them clean, a low moan sounded from the back of his throat.
“Lando, please,” you whined. 
“That’s right, baby,” he murmured as he moved to rest between your legs, his arms curling around your thighs and his hands pinning your hips to the mattress. “Say my name, Angel.”
Your fingers gripped the silk sheets into tight fists. “What about the video?”
His grin was boyish as he looked up at you. “We can make our own video first, Angel. A lil’ thing for me and you.”
.
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hsgucci94 · 1 year
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Sexy mama
« Would love one where y/n gets annoyed because Harry won’t have sex because she’s pregnant »
A/N: feel free to send in writing ideas for little stories you wanna read on here 💖 x
masterlist
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“Are you mad?” Harry rose both eyebrows, watching you move around the kitchen while he stood at the entrance, his shoulder against the doorframe. His eyes were scanning your every move, trying to learn and decode the situation he himself got trapped in a few minutes back. “Love…, c’mon,” he softly called, voice calm but beseeching. He took a step forward, his sock-covered feet now on the the cold tile of your kitchen space.
You didn’t turn to him or react to his words. You acted as if his presence couldn’t be felt, when in reality every part of your body heated right away whenever he was around. Didn’t matter if you were pissed at him and wanted to make him sleep on the couch that night; your body always ignited whenever he was in sight.
Specially these days, when your hormones were hectic…, over the roof. You just couldn’t manage them, and the only thing, the only person who could put them to rest refused to help.
Harry sighed, seeing as you weren’t addressing him at all. “Silence treatment? Is that what I get?”
He then felt brave enough to take another step in your direction, head tilting to the side to try see your countenance and read the emotions spread all over it. But nothing. You had that stoic face that blocked your thoughts and feeling from being perceived by anyone else. And he hated it. Hated not being able to decode you and find out what was going on inside your head.
The room went quiet again, the crunch of the knife as you chopped vegetables being the only sound. And it started to drive him crazy. Chop after chop after chop he became more anxious and worried.
As if there wasn’t any sign before, now it was even more clear you were annoyed by his previous actions.
He passed a hand through his curls, tugging slightly at them to relieve some tension. His eyes scanned you once again before breaking the space between your bodies and walking over to you. He stopped right in front of you, his hips resting against the countertop next to where you were dinner prepping, his arms loosely crossed over his chest.
“Y/N…”
“No,” you warned him before he could go on, eyes never leaving the food in front of you. “If you think I look fat and unattractive right now you can just say it, you know? No need to bullshit me like that.”
You spat the words like venom, like they had been resting in you tongue for sometime now before you had the courage to finally spill them out.
“Hey. Hold on,” Harry reacted, brows pinched together as the frown in his forehead grew stronger. “None of that, Y/N. What the fuck? How can you even suggest that?”
He ventured forward, forcing himself in your line of vision. “Look at me,” he asked, resting a hand over the one you were using to cut the food, wanting you to stop and focus solely on him, “Where’s all this coming from? You can’t just say it and keep on like nothing happened. Talk to me. What’s going on right now?”
Your lip trembled, and you blinked three times as soon as you felt water in your eyes. Your facade fell down completely. You no longer could keep your feelings hidden, in place.
You took a deep breath before looking up at him, his eyes worriedly scanning your features the moment you allowed him to.
“You think I don’t notice?,” you mumbled, “You think I don’t know I look nothing like I did seven months ago?”
His frown accentuated in more confusion.
“You’re pregnant, Y/N,” he stated matter of fact, bringing his hand to your cheek and caressing it, capturing with his thumb the tear that escaped from the corner of your eye. “You’re growing a human being inside you. That’s our baby right there, mama.”
His free hand went to rest on your belly, sweetly stroking it over his t-shirt. Your clothes didn’t fit anymore, so you borrowed his to walk around comfortably. And he didn’t mind. Didn’t mind back then when you wore them just because you wanted to feel him close, and didn’t mind now that it was the only thing that fitted the body of the woman he loved the most.
In fact, he’d never mind. There was nothing as sexy as seeing you in his clothes.
“I know,” you gulped, trying to swallow your need to cry, “But I don’t feel like myself at all. I can’t recognise my body anymore, and the hormones aren’t helping. One second I’m a crying mess and the next a horny teenager. And you don’t even wanna touch me, Harry.”
He felt his heart clenching at your raw confession; at your now no longer hidden insecurities you’d managed to keep to yourself for God knows how long.
“Is that what this is about?,” his voice low as he spoke every word carefully, “I made you feel like that? You think I’m not attracted to you anymore because you’re pregnant? Fuck, no, Y/N. Never.”
“Then?,” you whispered. If you spoke any louder you feared your voice would tremble and you’d break down in front of him. Not that he hadn’t seeing you like that before, but you felt overwhelmed enough and didn’t want to add more fuel to the already existing pile of bitter emotions burning inside you.
Your gaze fell down to the floor, but couldn’t even see it because of the size of your belly. It had gotten so big in the last few weeks you couldn’t put shoes on by yourself. God, you couldn’t even get up from the bed without a helping hand.
Harry cupped your face between his hands, thumbs purposely rubbing your cheeks in tender, sweet strokes. “Listen to me, mama. Pregnant or not, you’re sexy as fuck.” His eyes searched for yours, anxiously wanting for you to believe him. Pleading you to take his words and engrave them in your brain forever. “If I’ve been avoiding you in that sense is only because I don’t wanna hurt you. I’m scared I’m gonna make a wrong move and hurt any of you. I know you’ve been in a lot of physical pain lately and I don’t wanna cause you more, love. That’s all. It’s not that I don’t want to have sex with you, I swear. Pregnant or not you’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
His words flew out of his lips hurriedly, as if he was fighting against your mind to see what words you would hang onto first. What words you’d end up believing: your husband’s or those of your treacherous subconscious.
You bit hard the inside of your cheek as you looked up to the ceiling internally begging your tears to evaporate. They were already stinging your eyes, and soon enough ran down your cheeks without your permission, soaking your cheeks and Harry’s fingers.
“Ah, shit. The goddamn hormones,” you groaned in between quiet sobs.
Your husband let out a soft chuckle, his eyes glistening in adoration for you, “C’mere…”
He pulled you to him after drying your tears off with his fingertips, your body resting in between his parted legs while his hands entwined in your back to keep you glued to him. He rested his forehead against yours, and you closed your eyes allowing yourself to embrace the peace he always transmitted you.
“I love you,” Harry reminded you.
“I love you more.”
“Nuh.”
You giggled. “But it’s only fair. There are two hearts inside of me right now, both of them beating with love for you.”
The corners of his mouth widen to form the biggest smile, his dimples and bunny teeth showing, his eyes sparkling happily.
And then it clicked. You understood everything you both wanted and needed was right there.
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tabithatwo · 1 year
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are we ready to talk about shauna's barely hidden but somehow very ignored psychosis and how it, like a ton of her other qualities, is brushed aside by both those around her and the audience? like, i think its clear that a central focus of the show is the way lottie is the only one who got stuck in a facility (and natalie in and out of rehab being the next closest to reckoning with her shit) when the rest of them are very clearly not okay. as a certified Crazy Girl, i've been weary of how they'll handle lottie's story line (blurring psychosis and the supernatural is a very delicate and tricky thing and thus far i've been sort of just waiting to see where it goes). our data on and understanding of mental health is incredibly limited for a lot of reasons (but that's a rant for another time) but there is a large mainstream misconception of when hallucinations and delusions can happen. psychosis isn't just something that happens in schizophrenia and its very complex, so if you want to learn more there's plenty of info out there i'm not going to get into it here, but it happens in a lot of other cases. psychosis is, most simply put, a loss of contact with external reality. ptsd can cause psychosis, especially auditory and visual hallucinations.
so shauna is shown to have these experiences and i didn't realize that they were being so heavily overlooked by a large amount of people until the reaction to the scene where she beats lottie nearly to death. shauna is introduced in s1 as having hallucinations of jackie 25 years later. she is shown to disassociate. in 207, she both holds the baby's body and believes the delusion that they ate the baby. the episode shows her fighting the delusion until she can't anymore. meanwhile, adult shauna tells lottie she keeps callie at arms length out of "fear that she would die...i guess? or maybe that she was never even...real to begin with." then she adds "i think something is broken, lottie." implied: she's broken. something is wrong with her. this is the is the most honest about her mental state we've ever seen shauna be.
why? because lottie has always been and likely will always be perceived as crazier. lottie is the one they pin it on, lottie is the cult leader both then and now, lottie is the scapegoat, lottie is the one who got sent to switzerland. i think there's something to be said for the effect lottie has on people (again, a whole other post) but honestly, that alone is enough. shauna is feeling vulnerable for a lot of reasons and she can tell lottie that she thinks she's crazy, that she's never quite sure her daughter exists, that she's constantly afraid she'll die to the degree that she doesn't let herself interact with her in a real, tangible way, because it's always safer to tell the crazy girl you're crazy, too.
and lottie knows. shauna knows that. lottie clocked her psychosis almost immediately, when she was in the meat shed for all hours. the other girls were shocked by the makeup, and their shock was so fucking strange to me when i watched it, but now on reflecting i'm realizing maybe its the lottie effect. like, have i done the shit shauna has? abso-fucking-lutely not lol. but does my mind work in a way where i immediately would assume shauna was doing something along the lines of the shit she was doing out there, because to me its like...what else would it be? yeah. like sees like, in a way. lottie knows what this looks like at baseline, even if its coming out way different in shauna. even if in shauna it looks like aggression and violence a lot of the time. lottie gets it.
jeff doesn't get it, he thinks strawberry lube is too wild. taissa gets it to a degree, and we see shauna be the second most open with her, but tai suppresses and hides it a degree that she wouldn't dare step foot in a therapist's office (this is yet another thing that makes me crazy but is a whole other post lol). shauna's main goal in this life she's created is pretending to be normal. and she's like, impressively bad at it. but people let her, because what else are they going to do? addressing the clear issues is taboo, because we categorize people so heavily. she masks better than lottie, but it's fucking wafer thin. you see this when she interacts with people who aren't her family or the other yjs. the way she speaks to the taylors? to adam? shauna is only sometimes masking passably when she's in her set world, where she has a routine, and is surrounded by people she only has to half-convince of her sanity.
if shauna is honest about the level of psychosis she experiences, she knows she'll end up like lottie. and i think there's an argument to be made that the people around her (which at this point in her life is pretty much just jeff because she's done another common thing and insulated herself from other people, re: the way she behaves being clockably off to others who won't overlook certain things or can't relate) understand that too. it can't be addressed, because then in their minds there must be action of some kind if it is. (taissa yelling you're acting crazy, shauna is one of the most purely terrified moments we see of her in relation to shauna, because she knows she's admitting something. jeff yelling something to the same effect after the carjacking, same thing.)
the person we see try to get shauna to open up about it is callie. her teenage daughter, who bares the brunt of her difficulty maintaining reality, (who knows that shauna has never accepted her fully as her child, and seems to actually sense that there is a deeper reason for that), asks her to open up. she tells her after the club scene that she knows something is wrong. she even mentions jackie directly. she spends all of s2 trying to relate to shauna, to get her to be open with her about everything. there's no way shauna's trauma and psychosis and general issues have gone unnoticed by callie. daughters always know. they see it in their mothers before they even have a concept of the world. so we're watching a 16 year old try to get her mom to open up, because she doesn't understand fully why that's so dangerous to shauna. to callie, it may even be a secret she thinks other people are in on that she's being left out of. i think maybe she's realizing that it isn't personal and that shauna is guarded like this in general, and we're watching that happen.
callie is learning to care for and relate to her mother and she doesn't see why shauna won't let her in, because to her it's an innate truth that she'll be by her side no matter what (if only she'd let her be). she has unconditional love for her mother and that is the scariest thing in the world to shauna, because the last person who had unconditional love for shauna died because shauna didn't know what to do with it. a baby she never got a chance to meet in reality could've replaced the love that jackie gave her, and shauna was maybe starting to look forward to that, but that ended before it began. so twice shauna has killed that figure in her life. the one who loves her wholly and for who she is, which is terrifying to shauna in it's own right (she tried to take that away from jackie in their last moments, maybe you never really knew me, because that would be easier. shauna can't handle someone really knowing her because she can't handle really knowing herself because, again, that means addressing things that go unaddressed). and she doesn't plan on killing that figure again.
(if callie's even real, because the baby wasn't real when she met him and jackie wasn't real every time she's talked to her in the last twenty-five years, so who the fuck is to say callie is real?)
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formulaforza · 6 months
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—everywhere, everything
keep my hand in yours ('til our fingers decompose) pairing: daniel ricciardo x female reader warnings: parent death, angst, language, driving under the influence, underage smoking/drinking love, mackie... 6.6k. part two of this guy (but I think can be read stand-alone). I hope I make u all sad enough that you never ask me for a part two ever again <3
I hear you’re snooping around the old stomping grounds. I’d love to be there when you do it. Bring your dad if he’s free. It’ll be a good night, lots of strawberry wine—the real shit this time. All love, (always your) Danny.
— —
Danny is notably absent from your mom’s funeral. Granted, he is in Budapest at the time, and he had two races this weekend. You know this because you still keep tabs on him, even if he’s not yours to keep tabs on anymore, even if there’s nobody to blame for that but yourself. 
If you didn’t know better, hadn’t spotted Grace, Joe and Michelle a dozen or so people back in line to greet you and your dad, you would have been able to convince yourself Danny didn’t have a clue your mom was even sick. She went quick, less than eight months from her death sentence to… well. From death sentence to death. 
Two hundred and thirty-one days since her diagnosis means two-hundred and twenty-eight days since you broke things off with Danny. So even if he was in town, you probably wouldn’t have seen him. You wish you would have though, that he would have appeared in the plethora of grieving faces. Not for you, but for her. She always loved him, even before you did. 
Grace’s arms feel like the light at the end of a dark tunnel when she finally gets to the front of the line. She squeezes you tight, the only way a mother knows how to, and you cry in her arms. Grace doesn’t tell you how sorry she is, or that your mom loved you so much, or that she’s in a better place now. She just hugs you and wipes away your tears. 
“Danny wishes he could be here,” she tells you, but you don’t want to think about him and you don’t want to believe her. 
“Tell him I said ‘thank you?’” you say, a forced smile on your face. It’s got to be the hundredth of the afternoon. If there’s one thing your mom is—was. If there’s one thing she was, it’s loved. Tell him I hate him, is what you wish you could say to Grace. Or maybe tell him I love him. 
A million and two hugs later and you find yourself missing his arms more than you should. He was always a good hugger, and you could use a good hug right now. 
— —
You showed up at the property fifteen minutes after the event started. You’d hoped to slip in and out, to at least be able to say you went, that you tried. You had no intention of trying to find Daniel, and you figured it would be easy to avoid him, especially if you showed up after everyone else did—it’s his show, he’s the man of the hour, everyone will be fighting for his attention. 
You don’t even know why you came, really. Maybe it’s to figure out how the hell Daniel even got your address to send the invite in the first place. You’d moved half a dozen times since he last knew you. Or maybe it’s that you don’t believe, even after seeing it with your own eyes, that somebody actually had success with growing berries in the heat. It could be that you just… It could be simple, that you miss your Mom, and that everything about that place reminds you of her. 
Whatever the reason, you put on a long, flowing sundress, tied your hair back, and slipped on a pair of comfortable sneakers and a denim jacket. You didn’t even bother to tell your Dad—knew he’d want to catch up with Daniel, or maybe want to strangle Daniel. You didn’t want to give him the chance to do either. You park on the dirt road that leads to the vineyard, because the parking lot is overflowing, a pattern you’re beginning to notice since he’d taken over. 
The place looks the same as it did last time you were here. DR3 Wines still adorn the fleet of ATVs out front, and the wooden letters on the perfectly red barn are still perfectly white. You give your name to the woman working the door, regret it as soon as you catch her announcing your presence over the radio-headset she wears. 
Momentarily, you consider turning around and walking right back to your car. But, you aren’t one to waste a good outfit, not if you’d gotten all dolled up like this, so you walk into the Barn with your head down. 
It smells the same inside; wood, lavender, citronella and alcohol. There’s candles burning to make it feel cozy, but they do a poor job at changing the aroma in the air. The walls are still hung with photos, and the counter is still that slab of wood. It’s exactly the same as it was a few months ago, and manages to remind you of the place you grew up without wearing your childhood memories like a costume. 
Daniel has always been easy to find in a room. He’s loud, his voice and his laugh vibrate off the walls of whatever room he’s in. He’s loud and he’s confident and sometimes it feels like he’s the only person in a room that’s really alive. That’s how it felt then, at least. 
It’s been thirteen years since you last shared a space with him, but the fact you can hear his laugh on the other side of the crowded room assures you that while everything has changed, some things have stayed exactly the same. 
You can’t see him, but man can you hear him. 
You sign the guest book—proof, in case anybody asks. Proof that you did show up. It’s the top of a wine barrel, DR3 2023 branded into the oak—two tops, because so many people are here. It’s covered in signatures and messages from people he loves. You feel guilty even signing it, but you do. 
Congrats Dan—your marker pauses. You scoff at yourself. Congrats Daniel. Time flies, 13 years! The place looks beautiful. Wishing you continued success, you write, finishing it off with your signature. 
He still wears the same cologne, you realize, when you look up and he’s leaning against the table watching you write. He wears the same cologne, and the same smile, even if less crooked. Everything else about him is different. His hair is shorter, eyes older. His arms are covered in art, face is all together thinner, and his five o’clock shadow is less of a pipe dream and more of a full-fledged beard. He’s taller, maybe. Or you’re shorter. It doesn’t really matter, you suppose. 
You purse your lips into a curt smile. He matches—you didn’t even know he could smile like that. “Hi, honey,” he says, leaning over to read your message. 
“Hi.” “Who’s Daniel?” He teases, the smile on his face growing into one you’re much more familiar with. You look back at your writing, but you don’t laugh. If anything, you’re sure you look a little scared. “I’m teasing.”
“I know,” you nod.
“Okay,” he nods right back, slow, apprehensive over your apprehension. 
“Sorry,” you force out a chuckle. “I’m being so weird,” and you adjust the strap on your dress. He shoves his hands in his pocket, rocks back and forth on the sole of his shoes. Do you know how weird it is to be face to face with someone you were head over feet in love with? It’s really fucking weird. You put your best smile on your face, “Hi, sorry,” you continue, opening your arms for what you think might be the most awkward hug you’ve ever given. 
He’s quick to pull his hands back out of his pocket, like he’s worried if he doesn’t act fast enough you’re going to rescind the offer. 
His touch is uncanny; familiar and comforting and unsettling. It melts the years away and you feel just like you did some twelve years ago when you wished so desperately for one of his hugs. You’re nineteen again, and he’s twenty, and everything feels like it’s going to be okay. 
“How are you,” he asks quietly, his arms tight around you. “You look great.”
“I’m okay,” you say over his shoulder, and then again, as if you’re trying to convince yourself: “I’m okay. How are you?”
“Oh, y’know,” he shrugs, pulling away from the hug, gesturing your question away. “Same old, same old.”
“Yeah,” you nod, even though you don’t know. Even though it’s been eleven years since you forced yourself to ignore his existence, since you last kept any sort of tab on him. You can’t get over how different he looks. How you’d still recognize him without a second glance. “You look different.”
He laughs, looks down at himself. At his arms, his hands. He can’t look at his face, but it’s different, too. “Yeah, I guess so, huh?” He keeps looking back at you every time he laughs. He makes sure you’re laughing, or smiling at least, before he lets his slip. “Is your Dad here?”
“No. He uh, he wasn’t feeling well.”
Once upon a time, Daniel could spot your lies from the other side of the vineyard. You get stiff and stuttery, he told you, it’s easy when you know what you’re looking for. That was once upon a time, though, and this is now. Now, you don’t know if Daniel remembers any of those little things about you. 
His eyes go momentarily soft, worried, almost. “Just a cold, yeah?”
“Exactly.”
“Well, can I get you a drink? Give you a tour?”
You look around the place—not much to tour. Not when it used to be yours, not when one of his teenaged employees gave you a tour a few months back. He seems so excited about the idea, though, so you go along with it. “Sure. Yeah, that’d be nice.”
“Nice, awesome,” he says, looking around the place like he forgot where everything is. He claps his hands together, pulls them apart into a snap, and points at you with both hands. “Stay here? I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” you chuckle, and it’s genuine. “Staying here.”
“I know you, Bee,” he says, walking backwards away from you. B. He totally knows you’re full of shit about your Dad having a cold. “Don’t try to sneak out while I’m gone.”
“I won’t.”
“You promise?”
You nod. “I promise.”
— —
You, Daniel, and your Mom worked the closing shift that night. When he was around, that’s almost always how it went, because the two of you were the only ones who’d worked there long enough to know how to properly close up without a babysitter. 
Your Mom worked tediously in the office counting all the money—she was the slower counter of your parents, but it wasn’t like anyone was ever sitting around waiting on her. There was always something to be done, and Daniel was always good at making sure those closing tasks took up more than a chunk of the evening. 
You’d cleaned inside, swept the floors and vacuumed the rugs and cleaned the tables and the counters. You washed glasses behind the bar and restocked displays. The landline on the counter rang while you were writing up the day’s inventory, and you almost didn’t answer it, but your parents had told you to improve on your customer-service skills, even when you or the customer weren’t on site. 
To your surprise, the voice on the other end was Daniel’s. He was calling from the cellar, is too lazy to come over there to get shot down. “Is your Mom finished counting?” He asked, and you pulled the phone away from your ear to try and listen past the office door. 
“I think so,” you say, bringing the phone back to your ear. “We should be heading out soon.”
Sometimes you feel like you can hear Danny’s smile. “You wanna do the lock check with me?”
You slot the phone between your shoulder and your ear, returning your hands to the task of finishing up your paperwork for the night. You needed to be done when he got here, or there was no chance your Mom let you go with him. “How do you know I’m done with my shit?”
You can hear the lull of the old beat up golf-cart engine in the background, can almost feel the vibrations, can see clear as day Danny sitting there, lounging on the leather seat—tanned skin, unruly hair, toothy grin. “You always finish fast so you can daydream about your boyfriend,” he says, turning the last word into his own little sing-songy ballad. 
Your pen pauses on the paper, and you roll your eyes. “Jake isn’t my boyfriend.”
Danny laughs, and you roll your eyes again, pretend like you aren’t smiling. “Oh? But you knew who I was talking about!”
“Because you never shut up about him being into me.”
“Because he is!”
You set the pen down for good, now, grab the phone again because you want to make sure your next words come across loud and clear, even if it is the millionth time you’ve told him. “He’s my friend, Danny!”
“Oh, come on!” His laugh intensifies. “I don’t think a guy has ever been just friends with you.”
“You’re my friend, aren’t you?”
His laughter quells, and you’re sure he’s picking on the plastic of the steering wheel. There are so many scrapes on it from the same thing. He’s always picking at it, ever since you told him to give his poor nails a rest. He has to destroy something, you suppose—teenage boy and all—but you prefer a destroyed golf cart steering wheel to a destroyed Danny, so you let it slide. He sighs, and then he clears his throat, and the memory of your question dies in the silence. “Are you coming with me or not?”
“Are you coming to get me?”
— —
The air is chilly—nippy almost, especially with the sun dipping below the horizon like it is. You’re walking stride for stride with Daniel over the gravel path to the cellar, glass of sweet pink wine in your hand. He’s taking you to the strawberry field, per your request, because even after tasting it, even after telling you which field it’s in, you still don’t believe him.
“So,” he asks, one hand deep in his pocket, the other hanging in the space between your bodies. He’s very hesitant with you today, you’ve noticed. It’s nothing like the brash boy you called your first love. He’s gentle, softer, like he’s scared of his next words. “Who finally put that ring on your finger?” The threat of a smile is weak, but the idea of it alone is charming. 
You look at your free hand, carefully decorated with several different rings. “Which one?”
He drops his head to his shoulder, gives you a pathetic smile and a matching chuckle. “The only one an ex-boyfriend would ask you about, Bee.”
The sunlight—the little bit that’s left of it—catches the diamond on your ring finger. “Oh,” you shrug, dropping it back to your side. “It’s Mom’s.”
“I know,” he nods solemnly, and your head shoots over to look at him. You don’t know why he would remember that. “Who put it there, though?”
A smile pulls on your lips, and you bury it in the lip of your wine glass. “I’m not engaged, if that’s what you’re asking,” you laugh. “I just wear it… I don’t know, it makes me feel close to her.”
Sunsets at the property have always been gorgeous. When you were younger, you thought that maybe it was the most beautiful place in the entire world. The blues and the pinks and the yellows all mix together into some grand watercolor and tonight is no exception. 
The silence that lingers in the air should be awkward, but it’s not. It should be harder to be here, to watch the sunset, to walk the paths you have memorized, to stand next to Daniel after all these years. It’s not hard, though. It’s comfortable, like it was when you were sixteen and seventeen and eighteen and barely nineteen. Like it was all the time you knew him, even before you loved him. 
“I’m sorry,” he finally speaks. “She was really cool.”
You chuckle softly. It’s a familiar routine, consoling those attempting to console you about her death. “That’s what everyone says,” you say, even though Daniel might be the first person to posthumously describe your mom as cool. Lovely, you’d gotten more times than you could count. Beautiful and kind and oh honey, she loved you so much, you knew already. She was really cool, that’s a Danny-original if you’ve ever heard one. 
“I should have been at the funeral.”
“It’s okay,” you nod, because his presence wouldn’t have changed that your Mom was lovely and beautiful and kind and that she wasn’t around to be any of those things anymore. There wasn’t anything Daniel could have done to remedy that reality. “You were busy. We weren’t together,” and before he can come back with something, insists that it’s a bigger deal some decade later than it was, you change the subject. “What about you, though? Putting rings on anyone’s fingers these days?”
He laughs. A person can only get poetic about Daniel’s laugh so many times before it’s easier to just leave it at that. He laughs, everyone around him lights up, and he laughs some more. “Believe it or not, my work-life balance isn’t super great at fostering long-term relationships.”
You don’t exactly know what Daniel’s work-life balance looks like. The last time you paid any attention, he was racing with Toro Rosso. Every update you’d heard since had been one you weren’t looking for—commercials and posters and billboards and word-of-mouth; more than a couple ex-boyfriends and a few stray friends. 
You never cared much about racing. It was Daniel you cared about. 
There aren't a lot of specifics you remember about Daniel’s schedule, but you remember that he was almost always coming or going. There wasn’t much staying, and that was before he’d even made it to the big show. “You mean, women like it when their partners are around for most of the year?”
“They do, yeah,” he nods, dimples digging into his cheeks. “Crazy, right?”
“Crazy.”
— — 
Danny didn’t go down without a fight. He caught what had to have been the first flight home—home, you’re not sure that he can call Perth home now that he doesn’t live here. He caught the first flight to you, threw wood chips at your window at three-in-the morning. He didn’t need to wake you up, it’s been two weeks since you had any kind of meaningful sleep. You spend the majority of your time in bed looking at the ceiling fan spin or staining the sheets with your tears. 
You let him throw mulch for twenty minutes though, hoping that maybe he’ll give up and leave so you don’t have to face him. 
You’d done the breaking up over the phone for a reason. It wasn’t that you couldn’t wait until whenever he was home next. You could. It was that you couldn’t break up with him while looking him in the eyes, and you knew it. 
Eventually, though, you pull your pajama-clad frame out from under the warm covers, drag your feet the entire way to the window, pulling the curtains open just enough to confirm what you already knew—that it was him in the driveway. His entire face relaxes when he sees you there, forcing the window open. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“What the fuck am I doing?” He scoffs. “What the fuck are you doing?”
You cross your arms over your chest. The night air is cold and your pajamas are scarce. “I’m trying to sleep.”
He rolls his eyes, always dramatic, always over-the-top. “Come down here, honey.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
You stand there in silence, shivering in your bedroom window. He stands there in silence, thick jacket on and a handful of wood chips from the garden in your driveway. It’s a stalemate, and you don’t know which of you is more exhausted. Appearance points to him, but you dread that fact that you’re standing, that you’re tired enough to give up the fight this quick. 
“Fine,” you relent, and it’s less than two minutes before you’re running into him on the back porch, slowly closing the sliding patio door behind you so as to not alert anyone else in the house of his presence. “What do you want?”
“Where are your clothes?” He asks, and is already taking his coat off to wrap around your frame. You huff and puff the entire time he’s doing it, because your lack of clothing was a choice—you were hopeful that he wouldn’t keep you long if you were shivering. 
“What do you want, D?”
“I want you to talk to me,” he says. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it.”
Your lip trembles, and you bite down on it to try and stop it, chew on the skin until you taste copper and then it still trembles. You don’t look at him, you can’t. “You can’t fix it.”
“No, no,” he argues, grabbing your elbow in a plea, stepping closer to you, speaking hardly above a whisper. “Just tell me, baby.”
You yank your arm away, tone a direct contrast to his when you insist: “You can’t fix it this time, okay!? Nobody can fix it.” You point an accusatory finger, like there’s actually something he’s done to deserve this. There isn’t, there never will be. “You can’t fucking fix everything just because you want to.”
He matches, points his finger at you, presses it into the middle of your chest. Your heart races. “You can’t just fucking break up with me because you want to.”
You swat his hand away, offended by the accusation that you wanted this, that any part of you is enjoying this, finding relief in this. You hate this. Fucking loathe it, but it doesn’t change any of the facts. “I don’t want to,” your lips downturn into a frown, all pathetic and trembled, and your voice cracks and shakes half as much as your lips. The tears that burn in your eyes are reflected back in his, tired and bloodshot and wet. 
“Then don’t do it,” he pleads. 
You gulp around the lump in your throat, voice leaving your body meekly through tears. “I have to.”
“No, you don’t,” he assures you quickly, his hands slotting on either side of your face, the pads of his thumbs wiping your tears, his fingers locking into the hair at the nape of your neck. He shakes his head before he speaks, brown eyes searching yours, begging you to change your mind. “You don’t.”
His hands on your face are what push you over the edge, turn you from poised and sniffly to half-wrecked—choking on sobs and swallowing snot. It all hits you at once, all the weeks of testing, the days of trying to come to terms with a diagnosis, the hours spent grappling with the fact that nothing will ever be the same about you. You’re changed, now, and you’re only going to continue to change. It’s not Daniel’s responsibility to see you through any of this fucking shit.  “I do, I do,” you sob. “I have to, I’m so sorry, I have to.”
He presses his forehead against yours, your tears mixing with his every time your noses bump. It calms you, if only slightly, and your eyes close, mind focused on remembering this, on remembering what it feels like to have his skin on yours, to feel his voice in your bones, to breathe in the same air, the same space, the same atoms. 
Your breath is shaky, but the pattern is steady. In, out. In, out. Your nose is so stuffed you can’t breathe through it. Your lips are all but touching his, a stray tremble holding the power to force them together. You don’t know if you want to kiss him or not, if it would make things better or so much worse. 
He swallows hard, pulling your faces apart. “I love you,” he mutters softly, like a wounded animal, and then he presses a long, hard kiss into your forehead. 
You sniffle, your hands holding onto his wrists. “I’m sorry.”
He nods, drops his arms, your hands falling into his. “Yeah.”
He lets your hands go, lets you go. You feel like you might be sick watching him walk down the steps of the patio, along the path of pavers to the gate. A shiver runs up your spine, and you pull his jacket closed over your chest. His jacket. 
You wipe a new set of tears from your cheek with the back of your hand. “Your jacket,” you sniffle, “hold on.”
He doesn’t stop, doesn’t even turn back to face you. “Keep it,” he says, unlatching the gate and slipping through to the other side. You sigh, and then you cough, and then you cry some more before finally finding the ability to move again, to go back inside and up to your bedroom, and that was that. That was the last time you saw Danny. The last moment that he was yours. 
— —
You’re walking back from the unbelievable strawberry field, quickly approaching the still lively barn, people and smiles and conversations pouring out into the adjacent spaces. Someone appears in front of you with a camera, with two cameras—one professional, and one a cheap polaroid. Smile, they said, and you laughed, your cheeks burning red. 
Daniel slinks his arm over your shoulder, and you step closer to his side. He flashes a toothy grin and a shaka sign to the camera. You hear the shutter of the camera take a dozen photos, and then the photographer holds up the polaroid—one for the road, she says, and Daniel pulls you that little bit closer, you blush that little bit harder. 
There’s a flash, and then you both relax, the photo printing out of the bottom of the camera. She holds it out Daniel, but he nudges you with his elbow to take it. You do, even though you aren’t sure you want it. 
You shake the polaroid while the two of you make your way into the barn. “What do I do with this?” You ask, looking carefully at the developed print. 
Daniel shrugs, leaning over. You flip the photo in his direction so he doesn’t have to lean as far, but he still does. “It’s cute,” he says. “You don’t want it?”
“I mean, I’ll take it, but…” But. But I’m going to throw it away when I get home. But it only reminds me of you. But it only represents what won’t be. 
He looks to the wall of photos behind the counter, eyeing the display carefully. You follow his sight line, your eyes going to the exact place you remember the photos of you being. You don’t know why you’re surprised that they’re still there, like you knowing they exist means they’d vanish. “Hang it up,” he says. 
You laugh. “Where?”
Daniel shrugs. “Anywhere you want.”
— —
The best part about only being able to afford cheap workers, was that you spent every day at the property with a new teenager looking to have just as much fun as you were. Between that, and the plethora of college kids that were constantly leaving to go back to school, to get a grown-up job, to get any job that paid more than your family could offer—there was always an opportunity for going away parties. And party, you did. 
You and your coworkers turned friends had slept down by the river more summer nights than you could count, hiding six-packs in the staff locker-room and hiding ziploc bags of joints behind the six-packs. 
Tonight, the going-away party is to honor someone whose face you won’t remember in a year, much less thirteen. He’d worked there for the holidays and not much more, and there wasn’t much memorable about him. 
The bonfire on the back of the property snaps and crackles, sparking off into the night and lights everyone in flickers of orange and yellow. The breeze has picked up after dark, and the tank-top and shorts you’d donned earlier in the day aren’t appropriate any more, one of Danny’s hoodies—a purple one that sits in his locker just for you to steal and smells like weed and wood from all the past nights just like this one—takes the chill out of the night and keeps the goosebumps off your exposed legs. 
The sky is clear and cloudless, a big moon staring back at you and a million shining stars fill the night sky. It’s times like these you think there’s no prettier place on Earth, nights like these where you feel completely rich. 
Two joints are being passed around the circle lazily, laughter and conversation filling the air. The first one comes your way from the left, from Daniel. He takes a long hit, the embers at the end of the paper burning orange with his inhale. He holds it in, nodding his way through someone else’s joke, and exhaling into a laugh. 
He looks at you, hesitates to hand it over. “I really don’t want a lecture from your parents tomorrow morning,” he teases, playful smile pulling on his lips, mischievous glint in his eye. 
You roll your eyes. “They won’t know,” you insist, to no avail. Daniel chuckles, but holds his resolve and passes the joint around you to the next person. 
Undeterred, you keep your eyes on the joint that moves clockwise, that comes to you from the other direction, a path with no Danny-sized roadblock. With practiced ease, you take a hit, exhaling slowly, savoring the warmth in your chest. You meet Danny’s eyes on exhale, find them half-amused and half-concerned, brows raised and smile drawn. 
“Whatcha got there?” He laughs, gently taking the joint from her. “I told you not to,” he continues, taking a hit himself before passing it along again. You grin, a wave of giddiness washing over you. It always goes like that when he laughs—makes you all warm and fuzzy and silly. 
“It’ll be okay, Danny-boy,” you laugh, leaning against him. Lazily, without hesitation, he tosses his arm over your shoulder and pulls you that much closer. You like being closer, can feel his laugh instead of just hearing it. You like the way his arm rests on your shoulder, the way his fingers trace patterns over the fabric of his sweatshirt, every touch echoing on your skin for minutes. You like being close, even if it makes your palms a little sweatier and your heartbeat a little faster. You could get used to being closer, you think. 
The fire is starting to die out now, and the air gets colder. You wonder how long your parents waited up for you to get home. The original excuse was that Daniel had forgotten the lock-check, that you wanted to come along and really, it’s no problem to drive her home. After about fifteen minutes, you’d snuck away from the newly-built fire to make a phone call, to let them know you were grabbing food on the way home and don’t wait up for me. You’re sure they did, though, even if only for a while longer. 
Anyway, the air is colder and the joints have been smoked through and the beers have been drunk—not by you, you’re too messy when you’re crossed. And not by Daniel, either, who refuses to drive drunk but insists on driving high. 
You yawn under Daniel’s arm, find a way to somehow lean in closer. “Sleepy?” he asks, and you nod. Carefully, like he’s done it a million times before, he presses a kiss into the crown of your head. It’s not the millionth time, it’s not even the second time he’s kissed any part of you. It’s the first time you've felt the press of his lips and you think that you’ll feel it there forever. “You wanna go?”
“No,” you say. “I’ll stay, make sure the fire gets out and everything.”
It’s not much longer, anyway, until the fire is being doused with water bottles and beer and everyone is taking turns spraying the same perfumes and colognes over their clothes in a poor attempt to mask the smell of smoke and weed. 
Daniel drives you home. It’s not the first time you’ve been the passenger in his old Ford Bronco. It’s not even the first time you’ve been in the truck while he was high. Usually, car rides with Danny consist of cranked down windows and loud music, of louder conversations and excessive laughter. This drive is quiet, though. 
His hands are steady on the wheel, eyes focused on the road ahead. There’s no music, the windows are up, and he doesn’t talk. You watch him carefully from the passenger seat, study him in your paranoia. You haven’t done anything, you don’t think. There’s no reason for him to be mad at you. Unless there is. 
“Did you have a good time?” You ask. Danny nods. “That’s good.”
He turns to face you at a stop sign. “Sorry,” he laughs. “I’m trying to focus.”
“It’s okay,” you nod. 
“It’s harder,” he explains. “It’s hard with you here.”
— — 
The evening you’d anticipated is far from the evening that unfolds. Fifteen minutes, maximum, in and out. That was the plan. But then Daniel—Daniel, and all the far-fetched dreams of him making himself at home in your life, all the passing thoughts you’d had over the years about the what-ifs; the grocery bills and the taxes and the white wine and the rusty barn doors. He glues you to his side for hours that feel like minutes. 
The event is winding down, people keep coming up to him, firm pats on the back and handshakes and hugs goodbye. They tell him how great the place is, how great the wine is, how great he is, and you move around like his shadow, smiling awkwardly whenever someone catches your eye and waiting for the next joke Daniel has to crack quietly, just to you.
You stand at a high-table next to him, elbows on the tabletop, shoulders bumping everytime one of you moves. There were people around the table, a reason—an excuse—for the proximity, but they’re long gone now.  “You know,” Daniel says quietly, dropping his head against his hands, speaking to nobody in the room but you. “I’ve missed you a lot.”
“Yeah,” you nod, speak just as softly. “Me too.”
He takes a long drink from the wine glass in front of him. Liquid courage, you know now, for what he was going to do next. The glass returns to the tablecloth with a soft pat, and he lets out a heavy exhale. “I heard there’s a new coffee place opening in Northbridge?” He asks, and you assume it’s because he knows your neighborhood, wants to know more about it. The wine has made you naive, or maybe you’d just pushed the reality of his implication so far from your mind that it’s an impossible thought. 
“Yeah,” you nod. The new coffee shop in Northbridge is a seven minute walk from your apartment, and is on your way to work. You’ve been eyeing the place since the empty building went up for lease. “It’s got this super cute bakery right next door,” you add. “I think they opened last week.”
Daniel nods. “I’d love to try it out.”
“Yeah,” you continue, still genuine and naive and oh-so silly. “You should. I’ve heard good things.”
He laughs, then. Laughs this specific kind of Daniel laugh that you used to get so excited to hear. It meant he was going to do something for—or to—you. He’d laughed like that before he kissed you for the first time, and he’d laughed like that while orange juice ran down his arm and he asked you out for the hundredth time. He’d laughed like that on every anniversary, every birthday, every holiday. It’s Danny’s you laugh. “I’d need someone to go with, though,” he says. And the laugh and the words and the whole thing clicks. Daniel is trying to ask you out. “I don’t really know my way around Northbridge.”
A lie, objectively. One that confirms the assumption you’d just jumped to. Daniel’s first apartment was in Northbridge. He lived eleven minutes from where you live now. He knows the place like the back of his own hand, knows the streets like he used to know you. 
You nod into the bottom of your wine glass, watching the liquid spin around the clear glass. “You don’t?”
He purses his lips, looks all deep in thought. “No,” he shakes his head. “No, I don’t think I do.”
“Oh,” you frown, your eyes meeting his. It’s really hard to mess with him when he looks at you like that. Hard, but not impossible. “My dad’s usually around.”
He chuckles. “Your dad, huh?”
“Yeah, yeah,” you nod, a smile pulling impossibly hard on your lips. “Retirement and all, you know.”
“Oh, sure.”
“I guess…” you shrug, stop spinning your glass and set it down altogether. You push it slowly across the tablecloth towards the center. “I could always show you around, too.”
He leans back, stands up straight and scratches his beard, makes a piss-poor attempt at wiping the dimpled smile off his face when he cocks his head to the side and says, “As much as I like your dad…”
“As much as you like my dad.”
And, because Daniel was never really Daniel, because he’s always going to be your Danny, no matter the time or the distance or anything else that should get in the way, he says: “You’ve always been my honeybee.”
— —
“Don’t call me that, Mom,” you shouted from the office, gathering your morning gear. You were working tours with Danny, today, and the two of you had spent all morning bickering over who gets to be lead and who has to be secondary guide. While you shoved the batteries into the walkie-talkies, you could overhear Danny successfully pleading with your Mom. Honeybee, she’d called out to you. Let Danny take Lead today, won’t you? 
She laughs. You roll your eyes, slipping behind the counter where she leans, where Danny lounges on a stool. You toss Danny’s walkie at his chest, and he catches it before it hits him. She raises her brows pointedly, meets Danny’s eyes in some shared language, a shared silent remark about you. “Why not?”
“Because. It sounds like something Grandma would say.”
Your mom smiles, twirls the end of your ponytail around her finger. “But you’re so sweet”
Danny chokes on his laugh, shooting up straight in his seat to clear his throat, to cough into his elbow. “She is NOT sweet.”
You scowl, shove his shoulder gently. It only makes him, and your mom, laugh harder. “Hey!”
“You make my life sweet, baby girl,” she hums. 
Danny nods, falling back into his comfortable spot, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re kinda like a bee,” he says, leaning back even further. Your entire day would be made by him losing his balance and falling flat on his ass. “You make her life sweet but for me…” he pauses. “You’re just this annoying little buzzing I can’t shoo away.”
Silently, you hold up both middle fingers to him, walking backwards out from behind the counter, towards the back door. Your mom only laughs at you, always laughs at you and Danny. “Love you, Bee,” she calls to you, and winks at Danny. 
“Yeah,” he calls, the stool creaking underneath him as he properly stands up. “Love ya, Bee!”
605 notes · View notes
chosok-amo · 6 months
Text
haibara's little sister
you hate how your brother's friend looks at you— with pure lust, like a werewolf hunting for their prey, until one of his friends confesses how wants to fuck you.
satoru, suguru, nanami x reader, foursome, virgin! reader.
wc. 5,3k
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⠀⠀“I fucking hate you,” You said into the phone as calmly as you could. “You left me for three days with your friends just to visit your stupid girlfriend.”
⠀⠀“Y/n!” Haibara exclaimed— frustrated, appalled by your words. “First of all, don't talk about my girlfriend like that. Second, don't act like a child! It's not like you have to entertain them or anything. They manage on their own. You can just stay in your room the whole time,” he tried to calm you down.
⠀⠀“It's my house too, you know,” You weren't hiding your anger anymore. “So why should I act like I'm the guest?” You still were holding some words you wanted to say to him back. About how uncomfortable Haibara's friends made you feel, how they would just stand behind you until you made a step back to touch them with your ass. Or like they would make fun of you for never getting out, saying you will never lose your virginity if you keep up with it. you would blush, not knowing if they really knew or just were making assumptions. But the thing they did today was step up the line.
⠀⠀You had this beautiful gold necklace with your name written in cursive you would wear every day. You would take it off when going for a swim in the pool like you did every morning. And today, when you came back home, your necklace wasn't there. But they left you another one, with the word “SLUT” written in the same cursive letters. you tried to scream at them to give you what's yours back, but they only laughed, saying you should embrace your new name.
⠀⠀“Y/n, listen— I know you don't like it and I'm sorry I put you in this situation, but I can't just kick them off when I was the one who invited them. I was hoping our parents would be there by now and you wouldn't have to be one-on-one with them. But if you feel this awful I will come back.”
⠀⠀You felt a pang of guilt inside you. Were you suffering this much? you knew Haibara couldn't see his girlfriend for long since she was studying abroad. Was you selfish enough to make him come home just because of this?
⠀⠀“It's okay. You’re right, I can manage,” you sighed, trying not to think too much about what great of a time you will have with his friends.
⠀⠀“Thank you, Y/n! I will make it up to you.”
⠀⠀You put your phone down, thinking about what you could do. You heard them downstairs, watching TV, talking and laughing. You can put your headphones on and just pretend they weren't there. Or you can go out and don't see them. This plan seemed more solid. You walk to your closet, open the doors and search for the outfit. You didn't have too many dresses that looked like they were good for a party. You shuffled through the hangers before pulling out a cute dark blue dress with open shoulders and a deep cut. It required no underwear, that's why you didn't like it so much, but you were ready to risk it all today.
⠀⠀You looked at your phone, searching through messages from your college friends about the parties, and found one close enough to you. You needed to take a breath and step outside of the house.
⠀⠀You put on a dress, apply a little makeup and brush through your hair, allowing it to fall freely over your shoulders. You were fully ready. Now you only need to get out of your house and avoid meeting them as you do so.
⠀⠀You remembered being almost happy when Haibara brought his friends— Satoru, Suguru and Nanami to spend part of their break at our house. At least that way he would have something to do except being loud and obnoxious. Little did you know they would be even worse. You went downstairs quietly, trying not to even breathe. They were in the living room, preoccupied with a football match. When you were almost ready to charge for the door Satoru turned to you.
⠀⠀“Going somewhere, Y/n?” he smiled, his bright-blue eyes looking at you with lust. They always said your name like that, in a low voice, like they knew something about you that you didn't know yourself. And their pretty face doesn't help you that much. “Not your business,” you answered to him. He was always the meanest one of them, making fun of you at every opportunity. “Not even wearing the necklace we gave you?” Suguru asked, looking at you up and down like he was undressing you with his eyes.
⠀⠀“I would tell you where to put this present if you had enough balls to give it to me, instead of just leaving it in my room,” you bark. You knew they were annoying you on purpose but you couldn't help yourself. you needed to bite back. “And you know so much about balls?” Satoru laughed. “Maybe we were right calling you a slut.” you felt your cheeks heating up. It was no use arguing with them. So you turned to the door and went out of the house, fury still burning in your chest. Little did you know it wasn't the last you'd seen of them today.
⠀⠀
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⠀⠀You got into your car, put the address of the house party in my navigator and headed there, hoping you would get a more pleasant night than you would've got with that trio back at your house. When you arrived the party was in full swing, with music blasting, and people dancing and drinking everywhere. Red solo cups were thrown around the whole front lawn. you were already feeling sorry for the people who would need to clean it in the morning. You weren't such a big party animal, but as a college student, you eventually have to get to one or two, just so you can enjoy the real experience.
⠀⠀You went inside, looking at all the people having a great time, playing beer-pong and making out on the couches. There was no way in hell you would do something like that, nothing more than get a drink and dance a little bit— why not? Maybe you will finally be able to relax.
⠀⠀You went to the table, grabbing one of the cups when you saw a guy approaching you. He was tall and handsome, with a pleasant smile on his face. You felt a bit nervous when he looked directly at you.
⠀⠀“Hi! I know, it's a weird question, but do I know you from somewhere?” you nervously smiled back, feeling stupid in this skimpy dress.
⠀⠀“I don't know. Probably not,” you hated how shy you immediately started acting.
⠀⠀“You’re right, I definitely would've remembered someone as beautiful as you,” he smiled. His black eyes look at you with something you are unfamiliar with. It was a cheesy pick-up line, a line that any cool girl would only laugh at before moving on. But you weren't a cool girl, not even close, so you felt warm and giddy inside. “Oh really? Does it work on the girls that often?” You smiled, moving closer to him, trying to look like you were hearing those sorts of compliments all the time.
⠀⠀“You would be surprised” he laughed. “My name is Yuta. And you, beautiful lady?” his sweet-honey voice said, offering you his hands for you to shake.
⠀⠀“Y/n,” You said, moving your arm for a handshake. He squeezed your palm lightly, not letting go for a few moments. “Want to move to the backyard? It's a bit crowded here.” You thought about it for a moment, remembering all the safety advice you ever learned from your brother, but even if it was dark there were still people there, so you didn't have to be afraid. So you nodded and went outside, to the pool. People were having even more fun there, playing in the water and drinking. The music was even louder.
⠀⠀“Dance with me!” Yuta insisted, pulling you into the crowd and putting his arms on your waist. His touch was warm and pleasant, he was looking at you right in the eyes. Until you felt his hands go lower, on your ass, squeezing it. “What are you doing?” You made a step back, which was not easy with so many people around.
⠀⠀“Come on! I know you want this,” he said, pulling you by the arm, his other hand going over my breast. “If you didn't you wouldn't look like such a whore.”
⠀⠀You screamed, knowing no one would hear, or just think it was usual party noises. You were struggling in Yuta's hands, trying to make him let go of you. Your heart was beating fast and you didn't know what to do. But at the moment when you felt desperate, you saw someone approach you, hitting Yuta in the shoulder, forcing him to let go of you. When you looked at your saviour it was Nanami. Satoru and Suguru were standing behind him, looking at that creep with disgust.
⠀⠀“Step away from her,” Nanami said in a low threatening tone. People around you formed a circle, waiting for what would happen next. “Are you okay, Y/n?” Suguru asked as you nodded, lost at what you should feel. Those annoying guys, your brother's friends that were playing on your nerves were now saving you? You couldn't believe it.
⠀⠀“That's okay, I'm here with you,” before you could react, Suguru moved closer to you, gently pulling your face up and kissing you. Your first reaction was to protest, to kick him as you did with Yuta, but his lips were hot and amazing against yours, his hands caressing your back so gently. You moaned into his mouth, feeling his tongue lightly opening your lips. You felt your legs shaking from this small simple kiss. You were still breathing hard when he stepped back. “What the hell, dude?” Yuta screamed, rubbing his arm. “She was the one hanging on me. I had no idea she had a boyfriend. She was all over me!”
⠀⠀“Oh really?” Nanami went between you and Yuta, while Satoru was standing beside you, hugging you by the shoulders. “For me, it looked like some pervert was trying to force a girl to do something she didn't want to do.”
⠀⠀Someone turned off the music so his words sounded even louder. You saw some guys standing beside Yuta— probably his friends who were ready to defend him no matter what he did. “Oh, she wanted to do everything with me, alright! I'm surprised she's so hungry for a dick with three of you probably fucking her in every hole!” You felt angry offended, and upset. You knew you weren't anything like that but you still felt tears filling up your eyes.
⠀⠀Before anyone could react you saw Suguru punching Yuta in the face hard. You heard a wet awful noise and his scream. His face was bloody, his nose probably broken. His friends were gathering around him, not knowing if it was worth it to get into a fight. “Let's go,” Suguru commanded, seeing as there was nothing for you there.
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⠀⠀
⠀⠀Your whole body was shaking and you knew you couldn't drive in your state, so Satoru got behind the wheel of your car. You were sitting beside him, quietly, still processing all this. Nanami and Suguru were in another car driving behind you, making sure Yuta and his friends wouldn't follow you back to the house. “Are you okay?” Satoru asked, looking at your state behind his round stupid sunglasses. It was the most sincere tone you ever heard from him.
⠀⠀“I...” you were trying to control your voice as hard as you could. “I don't know.”
⠀⠀“Hey, you're safe now, Y/n,” he put a hand on your thigh, rubbing it lightly, and surprisingly, you didn't feel annoyed or disgusted, you liked it. “I was just surprised, I think.” you were looking down at your hands, not knowing where this unexpected change came from. “You were all so horrible to me all this time and now all of a sudden you're so nice and kind. I thought you hated me.” You saw Satoru smile from the corner of your eyes.
⠀⠀“Y/n, we don't hate you. Quite the opposite actually,” his hand on your thigh was now squeezing lightly, his thumb drawing abstract patterns on your skin. “You're beautiful, funny, sexy. We like you.” You couldn't believe what you were hearing. It's a joke, must be. “But you're also our friend’s little sister. And we all know you're too much of a good girl to have all three of us at once and you choosing just one would ruin our friendship. So, not an ideal situation.”
⠀⠀It's a dream, there was no other explanation for what you were hearing. They were torturing you for days because they wanted you? But it's so stupid and childish, and— “Wait when you say “have all three of you at once” you mean?..” you were way too shy to just blurt it out.
⠀⠀“Yes, Y/n. Have sex with all three of us.”
⠀⠀You were sure Satoru could see your red face even in the darkness of your car. “It can feel amazing, you know. To give up all your control and to feel nothing but the pleasure we can give you.” His touch to your skin felt like a burn now. Things he was saying were dirty and wrong, but you couldn't deny how my body was reacting to them. For a quick moment, you could imagine it— giving in and letting them do anything they wanted. But you also remembered that you had zero experience and it wasn't a way in which you imagined losing my virginity. But Nanami's hand was still on your leg and the taste of Suguru's kiss was still on your lips.
⠀⠀“We're home.”
⠀⠀The car stopped and you got out, facing all three of the guys, more confused and embarrassed than ever before. “It was a wild night, let's get you to bed,” Nanami said, putting a hand on your waist and leading you into the house. If only he knew what Satoru just told you he wouldn't use those words. Or maybe he still would?
⠀⠀Different from two of his friends, Nanami is usually quiet and calm, so you don't think too much when he doesn't say anything. It felt strangely comfortable, just walking next to him and feeling his presence. “Do you want anything else today? Maybe something that would calm your nerves?” He asked when you reached the door. “You should take a hot bath, I heard it can help.”
⠀⠀“I'm fine, thank you” You looked him in the eyes with gratitude. His blonde lock turned a little darker under the light. “I'm glad you ended up there.”
⠀⠀“We did what everyone would, no need for gratitude,” he simply stated. Feeling a warm feeling in your chest you stepped closer, hugging him by the shoulders, pressing your body close. It felt strange, knowing that the man touching you wanted you. You wondered what it felt like to touch his skin to skin, with nothing between you. Afraid of your thoughts, you quickly stepped away.
⠀⠀“Good night,” you said in a high-pitched voice before closing the door behind you. You press your body to the door behind you after it closes. Your eyes wander the front— looking at yourself from the mirror across your room. One of your hands touches your left thigh and you can still feel Satoru's warm-big hand there.
⠀⠀You took a deep breath, trying to process everything that happened. You took your dress off, quickly got into your comfortable pyjamas, and laid down on the bed. You were tired and needed to sleep, but your brain was racing. Too many things happened today, and your mind couldn't rest. You probably should've called Haibara to talk to him or watch something to distract me from your thoughts. Instead, you opened an incognito tab on your phone and went to a porn site. “One girl three guys” You put in a search bar, muting the sound and opening the first video.
⠀⠀You fast-forwarded to the middle and your eyes went wide. The blonde big-breasted girl had a dick in each of her holes— her pussy, her asshole, and her mouth were all getting deep thrusts from the men surrounding her. She looked more like a prop for them to use. This thought should've turned me off, you should've put my phone down and never watch it again. Instead, you kept looking at her laying down on the guy’s chest, taking them inside, letting them enjoy all her body had to offer.
⠀⠀You watched three or four more videos before you put your phone down and closed your eyes, feeling hot and wet between your legs. In your dreams, you still saw those scenes, but you weren't a spectator, oh no, you had the main role. And you liked it so very much.
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⠀⠀You opened your eyes the next morning feeling groggy and tired, but you knew you had to learn more. And you couldn't be shy or embarrassed about anything if you wanted to know what and how they wanted to do with you. Your pussy was aching just from the thoughts about it, so you knew there was no turning back. You wanted them, all three of them, and you had to let them know. You went to the kitchen, seeing all three guys looking at you intently. You felt self-conscious about your shorts and tight shirt. You were still wearing no bra so your nipples pitched tiny tents against the fabric.
⠀⠀“Good morning,” you said, looking around at them.
⠀⠀“Did you sleep well?” Suguru asked, looking concerned.
⠀⠀“Not really, but that's not the point,” You sat on the high chair across the table from them, putting my leg over the other. “I wanted to ask you a few questions about what Satoru told me last night.” Suguru and Nanami looked at their friend like he just committed a war crime. “What? It just slipped out,” he said defensively.
⠀⠀“I'm sorry, Y/n, we never thought you would know and we didn't want to make you uncomfortable,” Suguru said in a serious tone.
⠀⠀“It didn't. I'm not uncomfortable. I just want to know more,” you said impatiently, not knowing how else to get them to the point. “To know more about?..” Nanami said, confused, but by the wide smile on Satoru's face, you knew he understood you. “You want to know how it would be to have sex with us?” Dead silence filled the room, making you question everything about the situation, but there was no turning back.
⠀⠀“Y/n, I don't think you can handle it,” Nanami said, making you annoyed.
⠀⠀“Maybe I know better about what I can and can't handle. After all, it's my body,” you stated as you narrowed your eyes a little bit at him, showing him that you felt offended.
⠀⠀“True,” Suguru said. “But it's not even about having all three of us at once. It's about the things we like. Because we wouldn't be gentle, Y/n. We like it rough. Very rough.” If his words were supposed to make you change your mind they did the exact opposite. You felt your skin burning and your pussy getting wet. You wanted to know how it felt, you wanted to try it with them.
⠀⠀“Y/n, you don't know what you're signing up for,” Satoru said, still smiling— he seems the happiest after knowing what you want than the rest of his friends. You think he knew how you felt, knew that every word he was saying only made you want it more. “You want to be bound, slapped, spanked? To be fucked in your every hole hard and fast? Is this who you are, just a horny little slut?” Suguru asks you, raising his eyebrow. You felt your lips pressed together just like your thighs, too afraid to make a sound. Before you always thought it was a nasty, dirty word, only used to humiliate someone. But now you felt like there was something more, a deeper meaning that carried so much more.
⠀⠀Was I ready to be a slut for them?' you thought
⠀⠀“And what if I do want that?” You didn't look down, your voice wasn't shaking. Satoru, Suguru and Nanami all looked back at you with surprise and for a split second, you could see the lust in their eyes. They weren't expecting it as much as you weren't. “You can't make decisions like that so fast. You need time to think about it first” Nanami said firmly— secretly hoping you wouldn't change your mind when evening comes. “If you're still that sure in the evening just come downstairs and we will give you what you were asking for,” he said to you calmly as he kissed your head. You simply nodded, getting back to your room, trying to imagine how it would feel to get all your holes filled up.
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⠀⠀You were more nervous than you could imagine when you agreed to it this morning, but you were still sure that you wanted it. So you gathered all your confidence and went for it. You were planning to not wear much, after all, you still wouldn't wear any clothes for long, so you took a short pale-pink silken robe from your closet, took off everything and wore just it over your naked body. You looked in the mirror, trying to look confident. There was still one thing missing. You opened the drawer and pulled out a necklace, “SLUT” written in gold shining in the light. You put it around your neck, not afraid of being called that anymore.
⠀⠀When you walked downstairs the guys were already there, sitting on our big couch, looking impatient. It was nice to see them nervous and make them wait for you, even if you knew you wanted this as much as they did. When you came closer they were taking in your body like they never saw you before. “So,” You said, looking between them. “Are you going to just stare at me or are you going to fuck me?”
⠀⠀Satoru moved first, smiling at you, making you feel like a prey. He came close, untying the belt of your rope and opening it up. He went behind your back, slowly taking it off your shoulders and gently letting it slide down on the floor. “Looking nice,” he said, his lips on the back of your neck, his hands going up your stomach to play with your breasts. You leaned back into him, feeling his thumbs rubbing your nipples. “I see you liked our gift after all.”
⠀⠀It felt strange— to be naked in front of them, to be open and exposed to anything they wanted to do with you.
⠀⠀Suguru and Nanami came closer too, not touching you yet. They took off their shirts and unzipped their pants. Your eyes went wide when you saw them take everything off. You’ve never seen a dick in real life before, especially not that close. They both seemed big, bigger than you could ever imagine taking inside you. “Get on your knees, Slut,” Suguru said, pressing on your shoulder. Your knees pressed into the rug when you obeyed him. Now both of them were right in front of your face, standing hard.
⠀⠀You wondered what they would taste like in your mouth. Following some instinct you didn't know you had you put your hands around them, touching their hot length, slowly stroking them up and down. “Our girl knows what she wants,” Suguru smiled. His palm went around mine, pressing a little harder. You understood his command, doing the same on Nanami's cock. They both were moving their hips, pushing into your fists. “You need to find a way to take care of my dick too,” Satoru said, standing beside them.
⠀⠀He got undressed too, his cock a bit thicker than the others. “Open your mouth and suck.” Feeling a bit nervous you opened your mouth, looking up at him, trying to relax. He pushed his tip inside while grabbing you by the hair. Your lips were tightly pressed around him, feeling his velvety and hot cock in your mouth. Your hands were still stroking the other two guys, feeling them nice and hard. You felt someone's hand on your tits, rubbing and squeezing them.
⠀⠀“Oh fuck, I bet your other holes feel just as good,” Satoru groaned, pushing his length deeper, filling up your mouth. You didn't have to do much except keep your mouth closed around him. He was keeping you in place with his hand in your hair while thrusting into your mouth, letting you feel him to the back of your throat. You felt the taste of his cum leaking from the tip, unusual but not unpleasant.
⠀⠀“Stop it, it's not the time to empty your balls” I heard Suguru's voice. Satoru made a disappointed sound, pulling his glistening cock out.
⠀⠀“Get her on the table.”
⠀⠀Before you could make a sound, strong hands were around you, putting you on the coffee table, and making you go on all fours. Your ass was high in the air, making you feel like you were on display. When you looked at the side Nanami was holding a rope in his hands. “Get your arms behind your back and don't move,” his deep voice can be heard.
⠀⠀You did as he told you, your cheek pressed into the table, your wet pussy right there for anyone to take. You felt the rope go over and under your wrists tightly. It was burning your skin a bit. Then it went over your elbows, making you lose all ability to move your hands. Now you were fully at their mercy, they could do anything they wanted with you.
⠀⠀“Look at that ass, guys” All three of them were standing behind you, you felt hands go over your ass and you couldn't wait to know what would happen next. “Isn't it nice?” You whimpered, feeling a hit over your asscheek. “Yes,” Suguru said. “So tight and sweet,” another hit came, making you tense. “It would be so nice to fuck. Just look at those nice little holes. No one fucked them before.”
⠀⠀Despite yourself, you started getting wet. They were discussing how they would fuck you while you tied and helpless and unable to do anything.
⠀⠀“Oh yes, nice tight pussy. It will not be so tight after we’re done.”
⠀⠀You felt something go over your slit, all the way from your clit to the entrance. It felt good, better than you ever imagined. You felt a slight intrusion between your folds, you let out a small moan. You were about to lose your virginity and you couldn't even see whose cock was about to enter you. The next moment you felt an aching pain inside you, your pussy was now filled, your walls tightly pressed around someone's shaft.
⠀⠀“Your second hole to be fucked today,” You heard Suguru say, before getting another spank. “How does it feel to be slowly turned into our slut?” The feeling of someone inside you for the first time was unexpectedly pleasant. Everything was tight and wet between your legs, easily taking every thrust. Whoever was inside you was giving it to you lightly. At least for now. You looked up, seeing someone come closer to you. It was Nanami. He lifted your head by your hair, making you sob feeling tingling pain. He moved his tip over your cheek before pushing it inside your mouth.
⠀⠀You took it easy this time, knowing more about what to do. This time you tried to suck the dick, hollowing your cheeks around it and going over it with your tongue. “Fuck, Y/n,” he said, pushing farther. “You make it so fucking hard not to cum.” The moment he said it you felt how your pussy went empty for a moment before being filled again. You knew it was a different cock, Your pussy twitched to think of you being the slut and having your stepbrother’s friends’ thick cocks being switched out your wet dripping cunt and fucking you deep.
⠀⠀Your walls were stretched a little more now, the thrusts became rougher. It was the second dick inside your pussy and the second one you were sucking. You should’ve felt nasty and dirty, but instead, you only felt good, allowing them to enjoy your body like that. They both started moving faster, your mouth being fucked by Nanami, and my pussy being stretched by someone you couldn't see. But another intrusive feeling added up. You felt a cold slick touch over your asshole before someone's finger went inside it. You knew it was tighter than other holes, so it needed to stretch before being used. But you couldn't hold it anymore.
⠀⠀Your mind was hazy, your body hot and filled, taken and used. You made a deep sound, muffled by cock in your mouth, feeling your pussy getting tighter around the dick that was fucking you. “Fuckkk!” You heard the voice behind you. Nanami was only grabbing your hair tighter until he pushed his dick deeper than ever before and you felt his hot and thick cum filling up your mouth. You swallowed it all, licking over your lips when he wasn't longer inside you. You sat. Waited.
⠀⠀“What's next?” You asked, looking between them.
⠀⠀“What a cock-hungry slut we got for ourselves,” Satoru smiled. “You came so hard I almost finished inside you.”
⠀⠀“Now it's time to use all of your holes,” Suguru said. “Until they all filled with our cum.” You felt nervous, knowing it wouldn't be easy to take any of them inside your tight virgin asshole.
⠀⠀Suguru came to you, helping to get off the table. You moved to the couch, where he sat down, putting you over his lap. He pushed on your thigh, making you go down, feeling the tip of his dick on your asshole. “Relax and breathe out” he whispered, probing at the entrance. “I will ruin your hole in the sweetest way possible.”
⠀⠀You sobbed, feeling his tip inside, stretching out your asshole. There was still the whole shaft to get inside. Satoru and Nanami were looking with horny desire as you were taking their friend's cock up your asshole. Slowly, very slowly, you took him in fully, sitting on his lap with his cock inside you. His hands went around your legs, pushing your thighs up, opening your legs more. You knew what was about to happen.
⠀⠀Nanami went closer, pushing inside your wide-open pussy, making you moan and throw your head back. You felt their cocks rubbing inside you through the thin wall separating them. It was overwhelming and so fucking hot. But it wasn't all. Satoru stood on the side, making you move your head and take his fat cock inside your mouth. Now you were fully their slut, filled with their cocks and gladly being fucked.
⠀⠀They all started moving inside you together, making you moan and sob around Satoru's cock. Your body was touched everywhere— your thighs, your hips, your breasts. Touches were rough, squeezing and slapping you while your head was spinning from all their cocks fucking you from all sides.
⠀⠀You are sure you came around them more than once, your pussy tightening before relaxing for another round from them. But your tight holes were too good for them to handle for long. You felt them going faster, groaning and moaning all around you.
⠀⠀Satoru finished first, emptying his load inside your mouth, making you swallow, his sperm mixing up with the one you had already swallowed. Suguru and Nanami filled you up almost at the same time, their cocks going deep inside your ass and pussy before you felt their hot cum spilling there.
⠀⠀You were still sitting on Suguru's lap, breathing hard, with your body covered in handprints and red marks from spanking.
⠀⠀“Did you like being used like a sex doll, Slut?” You heard Satoru voice over you. “Yes. It was amazing,” was all I could say, feeling tired. Your holes were aching, your lips were puffed from sucking, but it was the best you ever felt. It feels amazing to lose your virginity to your overly gorgeous, hot, tall brother's best friend.
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