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erodasfishtacos · 20 days

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The Stranger & The Thief (roommate!abo)

prompt: YN needs a roommate but has never been around alphas. Harry is the alpha her parents warned her about.

word count: 9.6k+

author’s note: hii guys. enjoy there is currently six more parts up of this series on my patreon which you can join for $3USD!

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YN didn’t mind alphas.

Not at all.

YN had grown up in a solely beta household which meant out of all of her family, she was the only omega.

It was difficult growing up, trying to figure out all the intricacies of her secondary gender when her family had no idea what any of it was or what it meant.

Heat was something that had been tortuous to figure out because she did that completely on her own.

All her parents could do was put food and water outside the locked bedroom door periodically as the heat, the pain, the agony persisted for at least five days before she started to feel relief.

A depression always followed for another week.

Then anxiety would start to consistently hurt her chest in the week leading up to her heat because her body is dreading the impending doom, of being dragged through the cycle with nothing that seemed to soothe the ache for her.

YN logically knew the solution would be an alpha, an alpha would be able to solve the problems that she was able to figure out on her own, in the privacy of her bedroom.

However, she grew up in a community that was mostly consisting of betas and omegas, there were a few alphas but none that would have been an option for YN.

Alphas intimidated her.

They were aggressive, demanding, dominant whereas she grew up around betas and omegas who were nurturing, empathic, patient.

It was two different worlds and though her parents did not speak down on alphas, that had made it clear that they felt like YN should settle for a nice beta.

YN never thought anything of it.

She did not crave an alpha.

Well…only during her heats but outside of that, there was no desire to mate with one.

All of her partners up until this point had been betas, that had been just fine for her, none of them were too serious.

The closest she got to a serious relationship was Tate, a gentle beta who was nice, thoughtful, and everything YN thought that she wanted in a partner.

It had been going strong for a few months when her heat had hit.

Tate had come over to offer assistance like they had previously discussed but it had not worked out well at all.

YN was embarrassed, she knew she had to face her boyfriend sooner or later, and she put it off for two more days after her heat.

They met at the coffee shop that was an even distance between their apartments.

Tate’s demeanor was off from the minute he sat down, he refused to look at YN directly in the eye, and he didn’t reach out to hold her hand across the table like he normally did anytime that they were out together.

He was the one who spoke first, “This isn’t going to work out.”

YN’s eyes widen in utter disbelief, things had been going so well up until her heat, “Tate, you cannot be serious. I…I’m sorry I acted that way but I did not know that was how I was going to react! We…I won’t ask you to help me out again but we don’t have to break up over it.”

Tate laughs without any humor, “I truly never thought you were a knot-snob.”

YN tenses at the derogatory term, it felt venomous coming out of his mouth, “Why would you say that? I’ve never even been interested in an alpha!”

He shakes his head, lips curling upwards in the slightest, “Really? Because I came over to help you, brought groceries, other things to help take care of you, and when I walked into the bedroom, you growled at me like you were feral.”

YN swallows harshly, she remembers, very vaguely and almost through a fog but she knows what he is saying is truthful.

“You demanded I leave because I was a ‘poor excuse of a man’ because I was a beta,” Tate’s anger cracks into something more devastated which made her feel awful because that was never her intention to hurt him, she would never purposely do that, “You said that I must be delusional to think I could satisfy you. Only an alpha could.”

YN knows there’s tears brimming at her eyes, she was aware of how nasty she had been to him, didn’t fully remember everything she had said but she did believe him about what he was repeating because it’s what went through her mind.

She remembers feeling disgust at seeing him, none of that love she normally has for him was present in her mind at the time, just pure anger that a beta thought that they could please her.

“We just don’t have to spend my heat together, Tate,” YN tries, she truly liked him, loved him as a friend, and saw potential in loving him as a partner.

Tate scoffs, self-deprecating as he finally meets her eye, “I will never be enough for you, YN. I know you weren’t in your right headspace when I came over but your nature made it very clear that you would never be satisfied in our relationship.”

He takes a deep breath, “You…You were a whole different person when I came to you. I thought omegas were supposed to be sweet, pliant, and gentle during their heats. You were agitated, aggressive, and hostile in a way that truly frightened me.”

“Tate, please,” YN reaches for his hand but he retracts it instinctually back onto his lap.

“I…I am not doing this because I want it to be like this. I saw a future with you, truly, I did. I…I really think that you should be with an alpha because it’d be unfair for you and the beta if you continue to date them,” Tate sighs as he gathers his coat, he does have that same gentleness when he gives her a soft smile, “I do wish you the best of luck, YN.”

YN had curled in on herself after that, tucked away into a shell, and has been in there ever since.

It’s been about six month since she’d broken up with Tate and she had made the mistake of asking another beta for help during her heat, it was friend who knew what they were in for but she just had to really make sure that it was unsafe for her to be with a beta before she ruled them out of her dating life.

YN was only on the precipice of her heat, hoping that if the beta came while she was still more cognizant that it would go more smoothly.

That turned out to be an absolute mistake.

Trevor was coming with the idea that he may need to leave within a few minutes of being there or he could be staying for the length of her heat depending on how it would go.

She had given him the key to get into her apartment so that he didn’t have to wait around for her to answer the door.

YN unfortunately remembers the events that transpire but even though she was aware during their interaction, she felt out of control of her body as she typically did in heat where she couldn’t stop herself from reacting as her wolf mind wanted her to.

“YN? Are you alright? I’m here,” Trevor calls out, smiling when YN appears in the small hallway of the apartment, “Oh hey, sorry I was late but there was a line at the store -”

YN’s eyes are wild, unfocused, and her hair is already messy from rolling around in her nest that she had spent time meticulously building as she started to fall into her heat, “Get the fuck out.”

“YN, listen we talked about -” Trevor begins easily, undeterred at first by her words.

“What? Do you think that you’re going to help me through this heat?” YN laughs meanly, shaking her head with a sharp, cruel smile, “I can smell you. What a weak fucking scent. A beta comes into my home like they can satisfy my heat. You are a joke to think you could give me what an alpha could.”

Trevor swallowed harshly, trying not to let the words hurt his feelings, his masculinity, the security he typically felt in his secondary gender but YN’s words were meant to gnaw at his insides, make him question himself.

“YN,” Trevor replies firmer, standing a bit straighter despite his hands trembling.

“Beta,” She replies but it rolls off her tongue like an insult, “You are nothing to me. You think I would want pups from a weak fucking beta? I’d rather never have a knot in my life than the little you have to offer me. You will never be my alpha.”

Trevor has to bite back the insulting name he would want to call her, knowing that that wouldn’t be helpful but also that him being here was not going to be helpful nor did he want to stay because he was worried she was about to rip his throat out.

He shakes his head, a sour taste in his mouth at the rejection of the omega, he had already been insecure in comparison to the alphas around him.

However, he had a crush on YN, he was stupid for thinking that she would magically be okay with him supporting her through her heat, and now he was realizing that was an absolute mistake because he felt worse than he ever as has before.

In the moment, that was her goal to make him feel that he was less than and she had succeeded.

“I’m just going to leave,” Trevor tells her as he turns towards the door, his bottom lip was quivering as he hangs his head, trying desperately to rationalize this, this wasn’t the kind, sweet, YN that he normally knew, this was feral at best.

“Good,” YN coos as she stands defensively in the door, her eyes were darker than Trevor had ever seen them and the smile on her face wasn’t one that relayed friendliness, it was like she was about to downright murder him.

Trevor has never moved so fast in his life.

YN was lucid enough during that to understand why Trevor avoided her like the plague after that, never returning her texts, and the one time she ran into him at the gas station, well he acted like he’d never seen her a day in his life.

She held no blame or ill-will, the things she said were nasty, cruel, and unlike her normal character but it wasn’t an excuse.

YN sent him a few long messages detailing how sorry she was, how she regretted putting him in that situation because she valued him as a friend but they all got left on read.

After that, she stopped trying to find anyone to help her with her heat.

She deleted her dating apps and pushed off the idea of finding someone else.

YN also went to the doctor for her erratic behavior during these times.

“Heat-Induced Aggression and Rage Disorder,” The doctor had told her simply, unphased by her explanation of her symptoms, “Most omegas can spend their cycle with any secondary gender, even other omegas. However, the disorder occurs when an omega requires an alpha and will become aggressive when a beta or an omega attempts to help.”

“How do I solve it?” YN asks desperately, this meant that she would never be able to spend her heat with someone and she couldn’t possibly imagine actually being with an alpha, she’d never been around one, really.

YN, of course, came in contact with alphas on the day-to-day, it wasn’t like they were rare.

It was that she didn’t have any friends, coworkers, or connections to alphas because she was in such a densely populated beta area before moving to the city after she graduated college.

“You need to find an alpha who’s willing to spend your heats with you or continue to spend you heats alone,” The doctor shrugs without any better explanation, “Unless you wish to take medication to completely stop your cycle but that has major medical risks that I would advise against, especially if you ever wish to have children.”

That’s where YN is at, with a disorder that doesn’t have a treatment that sounds remotely reasonable to her.

Searching whether in person or online for an alpha partner was extremely unsafe which meant that she had resorted to the fact that she would forever spend her heats alone, in pain.

It made her jealous when her omega friends bragged about how enjoyable, how blissful their heats were spent with their partners.

YN wishes she loved hers but instead, she finds herself thinking death sounds more pleasurable than forever spending five days locked in her bedroom by herself, a slave to her own nature with no help from anyone.

++ a year later ++

YN was going to pull her hair out, it was official because why was it so hard to find someone who appeared somewhat normal to fill the empty bedroom in her apartment?

For the last three years, YN had lived in peaceful harmony with her beta friend, Eileen.

Eileen had started dating her girlfriend, Regina, right after they moved in together.

Two weeks ago, Eileen had let YN know that she was moving out and in with Regina after their recent engagement which meant that she no longer had any income to help her with the rent nor the utilities in less than a month.

YN could technically afford everything on her own, the lease was in her name but it made money tight enough that she had to budget down to the dollar which she despised doing - it was much more manageable when she had someone splitting the bills with her.

And because she would rather not have to cut back on her frivolous spending like her unreasonable expensive smoothies and sure, maybe everytime she sees a pair of socks that look exceptionally comfy she feels the need to buy them.

However, after a third interview with a potential flatmate, YN thought that this may be an impossible task and she should already start her budgeting because there had been issues with all three interviewees.

The first, beta, needed the bathroom from six to nine pm with no explanation as to why.

The second, an omega, stated that she would need to be able to conduct an in-person yoga lesson with six people every other day in their living room.

The third, another beta, demanded that they split the fridge storage fifty-fifty because their last roommate put milk on their shelf of the fridge which they defined as a ‘personal attack’ because they were vegan.

So hopeless is where she found herself after that third beta.

That’s where Niall comes in, her lovely lovely beta friend who sometimes she worries has rocks for brain and other times he’s absolutely the most brilliant being to ever walk the earth, it just honestly depends on the day.

However, she could kiss him when he arrives at her apartment with a bag of chinese takeout and something to solve all of her issues completely, “I have a mate from work who needs a place. He makes good money so I know he’d have no issue paying his part. He’s cool, I trust him enough to recommend him, I’ve worked with him for like six years.”

YN barely even hesitated, she trusted Niall enough to know that he wouldn’t have offered the solution if he didn’t think that it was a good option for her.

He does get sheepish halfway through, “I…I did forget to mention that he’s an alpha.”

YN pauses at that, narrowing her eyes at him because he definitely left that part out in the initial description.

“Niall-” YN begins to huff because it’s not that she totally objected but it was something for her to consider and he had just left that out.

“I know, I know,” Niall puts his hands up, “He’s cool though. He really keeps to himself. I know you’ve never been around alphas, let alone live with one but I really think it would be fine. Don’t you trust me? Plus, he really needs a place to stay.”

YN really should give it more thought.

“He just texted and said he’d be willing to pay three thirds of the rent,” Niall tells her as he looks down at his phone, “If he can move in as soon as possible. Plus he’ll cover internet and electric.”

YN really really should think on it.

She’d never been around an alpha, let alone lived with one, she needs to think about it, weigh the pros and cons.

“Tell him he can move in on Friday,” YN finds herself saying and before she can think better of it, Niall is quickly typing away on his phone and the text alert goes off.

“He said that works for him,” Niall gives her an oblivious thumbs up before picking back up his container of rice and clicking the movie back on like he didn’t just wheel and deal the quickest decision she’s ever made in her life.

She didn’t even ask his name.

YN typically isn’t this dumb.

She actually prided herself on her impulse control and rational thinking but as she flutters around the apartment on Friday evening, trying to make it as spotless as possible for her new flatmate, she really starts to question her own sanity.

YN realizes that she’s going to have to have serious conversations with this alpha about boundaries, what will they do when it comes to their cycles, and the thought that their scents will run rampant because they obviously won’t use neutralizers when they’re at home.

Niall had not given much more information beside the fact that his name was Harry, he was twenty-eight, and had a higher up position in the company than Niall so they didn’t always have much interaction, Niall had actually just overheard a conversation he was having on the phone.

YN finds out that he had lived on his own since college but after his landlord decided he was going to sell the house he was renting, Harry had to find somewhere else quickly, and that resulted in him moving in with a friend from university.

That friend was another alpha, which turned sour very after soon after moving in together.

Niall was a bit hesitant when he told her that the issue was Harry, not the other alpha.

Harry was territorial, more of the pack leader type, and it became apparent within days that Harry simply could not share a space with another virile alpha despite Harry forcing the other alpha to submit to him on multiple occasions, it didn’t matter.

Even though Niall assured her that it wouldn’t be an issue because she was an omega, it didn’t make her feel much better but she has too strong of a conscious to promise a place for Harry to stay to then to pull that away from him.

Of course, Niall, the twat, couldn’t make it over while Harry was moving in because he had to go to a family birthday dinner which meant that it would just be the two of them.

“It will just be time to get to know one another,” Niall chirped easily on the phone, unbothered and oblivious to the tension that was building in YN.

Harry was supposed to be here at six in the evening.

He quite literally knocks on the door at exactly six.

YN hesitates for a moment before opening the door, her heart was beating unusually fast, and when she opens it, it begins to pump even faster.

The man standing in front of her was clearly an alpha without her even knowing this information before hand.

It was interwoven into every aspect of his being, in a way that could be seen physically but on the other hand, it was unspoken, she couldn’t quite describe it but he was exactly what she imagined an alpha to be.

All of him was defined, sharp from his jaw to his nose to his arms.

His shoulders were broad enough that YN wondered if he could even fit through the doorway without squeezing them inward.

He was tall, taller than she had imagined him, and that added with his width and the pure heft of his bulky but lean muscles - he was fucking intimidating and could hurt her without a shadow of a doubt, she’d be defensless.

This is a bad idea.

YN should tell him he can’t move in.

Her parents raised her better than to let a six foot something, very capable alpha in her home to share with her without knowing anything about him.

The fact of the matter was, he did not even look friendly.

Some alphas were like golden retrievers, easy going and a bit airheaded.

Harry was the stark opposite end of that.

The type of alpha that people avoid because of how dangerous they can be.

If YN was walking down the sidewalk and he was walking towards her, she would without a doubt cross the road to avoid bumping into him but yet, she was welcoming him into her house and something within her felt like this was a good idea.

Her inner omega that is.

Who we all know craves an alpha like water and air.

She pushes that down, as much as possible when she notices how big his hands are and how they would look holding her hips -

He has a frown on his face, the light wrinkles it causes shows YN that he has that expression quite often as he looks at her with a mixture of boredom and exasperation, he should be so fucking friendly because of how much YN is overextending to help him.

He isn’t.

After a moment, YN realizes she’d been staring at him dumbly and has yet to introduce herself.

“YN?” Harry finally asks and his voice is deep, only like an alpha’s can be, no beta could even imitate the vibrato of that tone.

“Yeah, uh, come in?” YN’s voice is higher pitched than she’d prefer as she steps aside, her greeting coming out much more like a question than a statement.

Harry blinks dully at her, a backpack over his shoulder and a few boxes next to his feet, “If you do not want me to come in, just say it. If me being an alpha or a guy is too much, tell me now before I move all my fuckin’ stuff in. I don’t like playing these back and forth games.”

YN is startled by his attitude, she can’t recall a time when anyone has ever talked to her so bluntly or without politeness which again, inherently an alpha thing but it still had her off kilter a bit as his face doesn’t change.

“No, sorry, yeah. You can bring your stuff in, I haven’t changed my mind,” YN steps further back into the apartment, spreading her arms, “This is it. Sorry, I know it isn’t much but I guess a roof over your head is better than nothing.”

Harry doesn’t even bother to look around, doesn’t compliment the comfy furniture or the cute little decorations, “It’s fine. Where’s my room?”

YN knows her smile falls when she realizes this is going exceptionally worse than she had already been dreading, which means that she leads him around the apartment, showing him the bathroom, laundry, linen closet, and then to his room as he remains completely silent.

When he goes to begin to bring his few boxes in, YN moves to pick one up to help but he stops her abruptly, voice firm and demanding, “No. Put that down.”

YN’s eyebrows shoot into her hairline, “Sorry!” She apologizes for the millionth time in less than thirty minutes, “I was just trying to be helpful.”

Harry snarls his lip in the slightest, “Am I the alpha or are you?”

YN’s swallows harshly, voice small, “You are.”

“Right. I am the alpha, I will move the heavy boxes, I will unpack. It is my job, not yours,” Harry tells her as he brushes past her to deposit the box into his room before coming out for the next one without anything else to say.

YN should probably stand her ground, set those firm boundaries but she doesn’t, instead she hides out in her room with her cat, Beatrice, (who was also hiding from the unknown visitor) and does not plan to come out until tomorrow morning or until he’s asleep.

But no, when it’s nearly ten at night, YN finally gathers enough courage to knock on his bedroom door to set the house rules, the boundaries because she couldn’t make Harry like her but they could at least be civil.

Or so she thought.

Harry answered the door after a minute, his shirt was off and he was just in a pair of joggers, there was stuff all over his room that he was obviously in the midst of organizing but it also looked worse before everything fit perfectly into place.

“What?” He asks impatiently, like he has a timeframe and YN is disrupting something major.

YN’s mind goes completely blank for a moment because for the first time since he came in, probably because it was night time and his morning scent neutralizers had worn off but she can smell his natural scent for the first time.

It was stronger because he didn’t have anything blocking his glands, his chest was heavily tattooed, and unfairly defined, looking as if he never spent a minute outside of the gym with muscles cut in places YN didn’t even know muscle existed.

His scent was…unlike anything that she had ever smelled in her life.

It was rich, deep, and dark.

It made her dizzy, sleepy, like she could fall into a trance of getting lost in it.

Thick, warm waves of it seemed to short-circuit her mind and make it hard for her to even remember what her purpose was of standing in front of him.

She had never reacted so strongly to scent in her life, never even noticed most of the time what others smelled like but this was seeping into her veins and she couldn’t quite get enough of it as she tried to subtly breathe it in as much as possible.

“What do you want?” Harry reiterates, louder and definitely more annoyed as he crosses his arms.

YN has to blink a few times before she’s shaking her head, “Uh, I just wanted to go over like….house rules? Anything you need from me? Boundaries? How can we operate around each other since we’re going to be living together?”

Harry jaw clenches, his nostrils flared, and he looks appalled.

YN realizes then that he must be able to smell her and by his reaction, he must absolutely hate her scent which made shame and mortification run through her body, of being rejected by this alpha was absolutely confidence crushing.

YN swallows down the whine.

Harry’s eyes trace up to her once, “Here’s the house rules, stay out of my way, and I’ll stay out of yours. I’m not looking for a friend. I’m only looking for a place to stay. Understood?”

YN’s mouth is dry, her brain is having a hard time focusing on the harshness of his words because his scent is flashing bright sparkles in her eyesight at the same time, “What about your rut? My heat?”

Harry’s eyes narrow, turning a bit predatory, dangerous for a moment before he’s replying, “I’m sure you have help. If you bring another beta or omega here, that will be fine. I will not bother you. Niall told me you do not typically associate with alphas.”

“Um, okay…That works,” YN lies because she really can’t have another omega or beta here but if she has too, maybe she can try again? Maybe if they come over while she’s not yet in her heat? She’ll have to think about that later, “Your rut?”

“I have it handled,” Harry replies defensively, stepping back and putting his hand on the doorknob, “Just give me a heads up beforehand so that I won’t be blindsided by coming home to the scent change but I will also communicate that with you.”

“Okay, that sounds good-”

The door is shut on her without her even being able to finish her sentence.

“Rude ass fucking alpha,” YN mutters under her breath as she shakes her head, when she plops on her bed, she may or may not scream into her pillow for a moment because she just got herself into a worse situation than she could imagine.

But yet it hasn’t once crossed her mind to kick him out.

Why?

She doesn’t have a clue.

YN does not see Harry once during the first two weeks of him living with her.

Not even a glimpse.

And YN would actually wonder if he still even lived here if she wasn’t constantly overwhelmed by his scent.

He must come out of his room once YN is asleep, she does not understand how it is so thick, cloying on every surface of her apartment.

The second you walk in, it hits you, and lets anybody who enters know that an alpha lives here, there would not even be a doubt.

YN vaguely finds herself wondering one night as she sits on her couch whether or not Harry had scent marked the apartment, claiming it as his territory.

She had heard alphas do that, especially when they live with their omega to show that their mate has an alpha who protects them and their home.

However, that’s not the case here, and YN is pretty sure that Harry doesn’t even remotely like her, let alone want to live here so why would he want to claim it?

She rules that out as a possibility, mostly, but when she wakes up in the morning and he had already left for the day, well she can’t help but notice as fucking beautiful her house smells.

YN only gets her heat every six months with the suppressant she’s on but the entire month leading up to it, she finds herself starting to get more rooted in her omega tendencies.

Harry had been living with her for fourish months by this point and nothing had changed since the beginning.

He didn’t use the living room, showered early before YN would wake up and was already gone, and stayed out of the kitchen before she would go to bed.

In the four months, the sightings had been few and far between and she realized that he meant it very literally when he said that he’ll stay out of her way if she stays out of his.

In the sparse times they’ve shared space, whether it was in the hallway or kitchen, Harry’s lip would always curl up and his nose twitched which always incited a bit of insecurity about her scent.

She had always gotten compliments on hers, how light and powdery it smelled like clean laundry spritzed with a hint of orange blossom and vanilla.

YN did not understand why it was so unappealing to the alpha but he was in for a rude awakening as the month leading up to her heat began.

Her scent got noticeably stronger, she felt the urge to scentmark more items in her apartment to claim that this was her home and safe space.

As expected, Harry didn’t say anything the day it all started to intensify.

And to be fair, he never said anything to her.

The closest thing she would get was a low grunt of greeting but despite that, she felt safe with him in her home, and never had any worry that she was in danger.

The alpha made her feel an overwhelming sense of security, in fact, that she had never felt with any beta or omega.

It wasn’t necessary that he was mean to her or treated her poorly, he just…was there.

He didn’t bring anyone home with him, never asked if he could have someone spend the night nor has she ever smelled any visitors either.

However, things really start to change in the beginning of October, the month before her heat would crest and peak before the cycle started all over again.

The first major change she would notice was the difficulty sleeping.

Normally, she slept better than most without typically ever having to get up in the middle of the night or any tossing and turning.

When October hit, it felt near impossible for her to fall asleep and then when she was so exhausted that she did end passing out, it wouldn’t be long before she was awake again which made her always feel like she needed a nap.

It was late for a weekday, the clock showing that it was close to midnight, and she had to be up for work at six in the morning but her body did not seem to get the memo because after attempting to sleep since ten, it had not been successful.

YN decided to give it some time before she laid back down again.

YN grabbed a bag of pretzels from the cupboard, gave Beatrice one of the squeeze tubes of tuna-flavored goop, and cuddled up on the couch in the living room.

Of course, nothing sounded good as she flipped through the options, and decided on a romantic comedy that didn’t really interest her but it was her best option to make her sleepy, even if it was from the boredom of a corny film.

YN was about thirty-five minutes in when she realized that the movie wasn’t a helpful tool to fall asleep because she was completely interested in the plot line and she was even more awake than before trying to follow the story.

It made her jump in the slightest when the lock turns in the front door before it’s being opened roughly as Harry walks into the small entryway, shutting the door behind him, and beginning to shuck his coat without even realizing she was sitting there.

She hears him grumpily mumble, “Always leaves the fuckin’ television on.”

Which, yeah, she does forget half the time and the other half she feels like Beatrice likes it on for comfort.

Harry looked worn down, tired, and as beautiful as ever.

He had a duffle over his shoulder that most likely held his work clothes and gym outfit because YN was quite sure that after he was down at his office, he went to the gym which he was at for quite a long time.

She vaguely remembers Niall saying that he boxes occasionally for money and that he trains daily which was a pretty brutal routine of working out before work and after work with no time for relaxation in between.

After he’s lined his shoes up neatly against the wall, (YN notices that he also does the same with her shoes that she had half-haphazardly kicked off when she came home from work), he walks into the living room.

It was obvious that he was going toward the television to shut it off but he lets out the lowest growl of surprise when he spots YN tucked deeply into the corner of the couch with a blanket tucked like a burrito around her.

And YN had never heard, in real life, an alpha growl before.

Instead of being scared, she felt the sudden urge to purr, which scared the absolute shit out of her because why the fuck would she want to purr? She’d only done that when she was a pup and never in her adult life.

Why would she want to do that when this alpha was obviously on edge to the point of growling.

“What are you doing?” Harry grunts, voice sharp and annoyed, nostrils flaring as he must take in her smell.

“I couldn’t sleep,” YN replies hesitantly, eyes darting back up to the screen and then to him because his gaze was so intense and accusatory - it was her house, she could be wherever she wanted when she wanted no matter what time.

“Why?” Harry follows up, his arms crossing over his chest, and making his biceps look unfairly big.

YN grits her teeth, debating on whether she wants to give him a snarky remark to mind his business but then she remembers that she has to live with him and would rather not have them on worse terms then they already seem to be on.

“I always have difficulty sleeping the month of my pre-heat,” YN shrugs, a little embarrassed to be talking about something so intimate with someone who likely did not want to hear anything about her personal life.

“Is that normal?” Harry’s brow furrows, not seeming to like her answer to his question.

YN swipes her tongue across her front teeth nervously, “Um, not really. I…I have a lot of issues regarding my heats and that is one of many. Yeah, I see a doctor but there’s only so much they can do, I guess.”

Harry nods in understanding, doesn’t ask anymore questions or even acknowledge her again as he goes about making himself something to eat before disappearing into his room without another word to her which she was used to by this point.

YN rewinds the movie at bit, she couldn’t really focus when Harry was in the vicinity, and his smell was so fucking overwhelming as he obviously hadn’t showered after the gym and was waiting until he got home.

It wasn’t a bad smell, neither of sweat or filth.

No, it was just that his already delicious smell was stronger, darker, and just encompassing every molecule of the apartment.

It takes her a moment to refocus her attention back on the screen and remember where she had left off, vaguely hearing the shower start to run before he’s shutting the door to his bedroom a little more roughly than a normal.

The plot takes a very unexpectant twist at the end and YN didn’t realize that this rom-com had a sad ending which she really wasn’t used to in most films like this.

After working through all the turmoil and drama that kept popping up for this couple, they finally get it right, and the alpha was about to propose to the omega when he got in a car accident, and ended up passing away.

YN doesn’t not even recognize that she is sobbing like an absolute baby until Harry is standing in front of her with a twitch of irritation in his jaw and only in a pair of joggers, nothing stopping her from seeing the bare, defined muscle of his upper half.

“Why are you crying?” Harry asks as he looks down at her, arms crossed yet again.

YN wipes her face with the sleeve of her oversized hoodie, tears tracks surely making her face puffy as she sits up, “It ha-had a really sad ending I wasn’t expecting,” YN nods up towards where the credit were rolling, “Th-The alpha dies and doesn't get to pro-propose.”

“That’s got you all worked up?” Harry sighs as he moves to grab the remote, flicking off the television and motioning for her to stand up, “You need to try to go to sleep.”

“I can’t sleep,” YN nearly whines, making tears start again.

Oh, did she mention she gets unreasonably emotional during her pre-heat?

“Try,” Harry insists and he gently grabs her wrist, pulling her to her feet, “For both of our sakes, please just try to get some rest.”

YN frowns at that, why does it matter to him?

She hates that she feels disappointed when he lets go of her.

“Okay,” YN agrees as she shuffles her feet towards her bedroom, despising that despite how unfriendly the alpha is, she finds herself wanting comfort from him which…it just doesn’t make any sense and she pushes those thoughts to the very back of her mind.

YN veers off towards the bathroom first and by the time she turns to say goodnight, Harry’s already back in his room with the door shut, and she just ends up sighing before shutting the door of the bathroom to use it before she tries to sleep again.

As she sits down, she notices a pile of fabric in the corner near the sink, and out of curiosity once she’s done, she plucks it up and holds it out.

It was the shirt that Harry had been wearing when he came home, the one he worked out in, and it was absolutely drenched in that smell that made YN weak at the knees.

Harry was meticulously clean.

He never even left behind as much as a crumb of a sandwich and so seeing a shirt of his was unusual because it had never happened before.

YN has no excuse for her behavior, doesn’t really even consciously realize that she’s doing it until she’s back in her room with his shirt tucked up into her hoodie.

She pulls it out and pathetically enough, brings it to her nose where it just smells of alpha, comfort, security, and everything she could ever imagine

It feels wrong, invasive to his privacy almost, and she has never done anything like this in her life.

There was something that outweighed all those negative feelings because she finds that as soon as she lays down and tucks the shirt around her pillow to lay her face into, her eyes instantly become droopy and in no time, she’s out like a light.

YN tries to push the whole shirt incident out of her mind the next day, blaming it on her pre-heat haziness, and absolutely nothing else.

Logically, she knows she should return his shirt to him, at least tossing it in his hamper but his scent lingered for days afterwards and there was a direct correlation to how much better she had been sleeping since.

When the scent was completely gone, it was like clockwork that YN began to not be able to fall asleep.

It leads her to another night on the couch, another night of Harry coming in late, and being irritated that she was still awake.

“You were fine the last few nights,” Harry notes as his greeting, no ‘hello’ or ‘how was your day’.

YN bites the corner of her lip, lowering the volume a tad on the television, “I know.”

“So why are you up right now?” Harry questions and god, are all alphas this blunt and impersonal or was it just this alpha in particular.

“Because I couldn’t sleep,” YN replies like it’s obvious.

Harry bares his teeth slightly, “Why can’t you sleep?”

“I told you, my pre-heat,” YN realizes that she’s getting a bit defensive because the real answer is much more mortifying and something she would never actually share with him.

He steps in, dropping his duffle unceremoniously, and walks closer to her.

Harry starts to speak slowly, precisely like he’s trying to get YN to understand, “I am not stupid. I understand that. I am asking you, what made you sleep the last few nights? You slept like a rock when I check-, when I walked past your room.”

YN shouldn’t react the way she does but she feels in a way that all the tension between them bubbles up.

Not to mention, it’s incredibly irritating to her how drawn her omega is to him, his scent, his presence, and she fucking hates it because he’s a dickhead.

“I don’t fuckin know, okay? Leave it alone. I’m allowed to be in my living room at whatever hour of the night I please without a fucking interregation,” YN snaps at him angrily, cursing when tears start to drip down her cheeks, and these hormones just sucked, amplifying every emotion she has ten-fold.

Harry lets out a low growl at that, just like the other night, and it doesn’t scare YN once again.

No, for some reason it makes her anger ebb just the slightest.

“Stop the attitude,” Harry replies evenly but his voice was deeper, “I was just checking in on you.”

Anyone else telling her to stop her attitude?

It would have escalated into a nasty fight.

YN instead just deflates, curling up further into her blanket, and covering her face because she just couldn’t get in control of the tears that were streaming down.

He must think she’s a lunatic.

Harry leaves her once again to go shower.

YN’s absolutely praying that he leaves a shirt rumbled on the floor again, despite how guilty that thought makes her feel.

She just wants sleep and for her hormones to even out.

YN feels a bit like a criminal when she goes to the bathroom, soon after Harry had went back out to make himself something for dinner, and there’s a massive disappointment in her stomach when the bathroom is as spotless as always.

She is craving the scent, she knows she can get another fix of it but it would definitely be in his hamper, in his room, and it’s such an invasion of privacy for her to go in there but then again, he’s frying something on the stovetop and he wouldn’t know…

YN’s never stolen in her life, not even gum or nail polish when she was younger, and it’s not even really stealing because she’ll give it back as soon as the scent wears off (but that’s not really true because she hasn’t returned his other shirt and has no intention of it).

She’s already opened his door, quickly scoping out the space, and realizing that his bedroom was the absolute fucking motherload of everything she could ever dream of.

If she thought their whole apartment smelled like him, his bedroom was if you bottled it in a jar, it was thicker, more cloying than ever, and she noticed a purring in her chest before she realized she was doing it and stopped.

If she was completely insane, she would try to grab as much as possible, until her arms are overflowing and she can’t carry out anything else without it falling.

But she’s not that far off the deep end that she did that, she felt creepy enough as she tiptoed over to his laundry hamper and snatched the shirt that was lying on top, the one that Harry had walked in the apartment wearing early.

YN wishes she could loiter a bit longer but that meant a higher chance that she was going to get caught.

She is surprisingly successful as she sneaks back into her room, proud that she now has two shirts to add to her nest.

YN always had a nest, it provided her comfort and security but she absolutely loved that she could intertwine the fabric together with her soft blankets.

This meant she was guaranteed a few more good night sleeps.

YN was running incredibly behind for work the next.

She had slept so well that she must have turned off her alarm instead of snoozing iit.

Because when she finally cracks her eyes open, the sun is breaking through her blinds, and her body knows that it is much later than six in the morning.

Her phone confirms that when she clicks on the screen she sees that it is seven-thirty-five.

Any other day, it really wouldn’t be that big of a deal because besides meetings she could make her own schedule.

Of course, of course, she sleeps on the day of an important presentation that she was the head presenter on.

It started at nine which didn’t give her much wiggle room because the commute takes a decent amount of time and that’s if there’s no hectic traffic.

“Shit, shit, shit,” YN chants to herself when rolls out of bed, glaring judgmentally at Beatrice, and muttering, “You wake me up every other morning for breakfast, but not today, of all days?”

Beatrice blinks slowly at her before she lifts her paw pointedly and nibbles on it.

There’s no time for a shower or the makeup she wanted to do.

The only luck that was on her side was that she laid her outfit out last night after being incredibly indecisive about what she wanted to wear in front of the board of higher ups.

She had tugged her hair up into a loose ponytail that actually passed for the messy updo style, and put on her best push-up bra right after.

YN figured that while she was tugging on her trousers that she could go out to feed Beatrice, the button was being finicky as it always tending to be so she was looking down as she begin down the hall, and nearly fell backwards when she runs into something hard, warm, and delicious smelling.

Harry’s big hands reach out and wrap around her bare arms, keeping her upright as she yelps in surprise, pants going unbuttoned for a moment as she grips Harry’s forearms for stability and looks at him with wide eyes.

His nostrils are flaring viciously, an irritated growling rumbling through his chest, and he keeps his eyes on her the full time.

They never once darted down to her chest, that not only was just covered by her bra but was also sheer enough that her nipples were completely visible through the nude fabric.

YN is confused by her own desire to just curl into his chest and feel his shirtless chest against her barely clothed one, and what the fuck.

“Wha-“ YN stammers in confusion, why is he home?

“Why aren’t you at work?” Harry asks pointedly, his jaw was clenched tightly enough that it must be aching with soreness.

“I-I overslept,” She replies shakily, his hands still gripping her arms, fingertips pressing in, “I need to feed Beatrice.”

“No, what you need to do is get yourself dressed. Do you walk around half-naked with every alpha you know? S’indecent,” He’s scolding her like a child as he finally steps back.

YN has been so nice up until this point, despite how wonky her hormones have been.

She’s typically never a nasty person.

She rarely ever gets angry either.

However, today was the wrong day to fuck with her.

“Fuck you,” YN snaps back out of her stupor, much to Harry’s surprise, “I told I was late and I didn’t think you’d be home because you’re always at work by now. I’m sorry I’ve offended you with my body, prick.”

YN turns on her heel, storming back to her room, and snatching up her phone to check the time to see an email notification from her work.

Good morning,

We hope this email finds you well. Our office has to be unfortunately shut down for the next few days due to a major power outage after flooding in the basement of the building. We are estimating a three to four day shutdown. To show our gratitude for your patience, these days will be marked as paid time off. Stay tuned for more information and updates.

Thank you,

Evergreen Financial Accounting

YN feels a huge weight lifted off her chest because not only does she get a few days to relax but now she isn’t going to be late to her important presentation .

However, she does not feel completely relieved because the anger chewing at her over her housemate is just as heavy, even more prominent, and has triggered her inner hormonal omega.

YN fees a flash of defiance which is never a good sign as she usually never tries to rock the boat or cause a stir, prefers to fly under the radar.

No, not today.

YN storms back out of her room because she was going to feed Beatrice in her bra and unbuttoned work slacks if she wanted to.

Harry was sat on the living room couch which was an uncommon sight, a protein drink in a shaker cup, and his eyes on his phone in the opposite hand.

YN goes back into the kitchen, deciding she might as well make herself a breakfast sandwich while she’s at it after she fills Beatrice’s bowl.

She can feel his eyes on her, intense and if it could, his gaze would be burning a hole in her back with how directed and annoyed it was.

YN moves slowly, now that she’s in no rush at all, and she feels stupid for being surprised when Harry lets out a snarl loud enough to echo in the space.

YN doesn’t turn around.

It feels dangerous, she’d learned over and over again growing up to never ever antagonize an alpha, and here she was.

When she doesn’t respond to the noise, it gets louder and makes her ears ring just the slightest, he’s trying to force her attention on him.

Bossy, ill-mannered alpha.

His voice is closer when he speaks, she never even hears him get up.

“Go get some fuckin’ clothes on,” Harry orders, his voice deeper, raspier than she had ever heard it.

But it also sent a very unpleasant spark of nervousness up her spine because the alpha in front of her was past the point of being annoyed, he was furious.

His shoulders were as broad as they could go, his teeth flashing at her, and his scent was richer, thicker, tinged with a sharp pine.

The playful, brattiness dissipates from her body as his growls stay loud, demanding, deafening.

YN doesn’t realize at first what a bad decision it is to flip her hair over her shoulder, putting her bare bond spot right on display in front of an agitated alpha.

To her utter dismay, he steps forward and their chests are nearly touching, his eyes were now completely focused on the curve of her neck.

When he reaches up, cupping the side of her neck, and curiously thumbs over the spot, YN cannot control the whine that leaves her throat.

His eyes move directly back up to hers, the noise drags him for his daze, and back into reality.

He actually does look her up and down this time, eyes lingering on her chest for a minute before he’s hissing at her once again, “Go get a fucking shirt on.”

With that, he’s turning and grabbing his duffle before storming out the front door, shutting it hard enough it vibrates but then she still hears him take the time to lock it.

Stupid fucking alpha.

+++++++++

#harry styles writing #harry styles #harry styles masterlist #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles au #harry styles fanfic

664 notes · View notes

weirdsht · 2 years

Note

ENEMIES TO LOVERS CALE X READER PLSSSS😭😭

Fickle - Cale/Reader

a/n: idk if anon wanted a gn reader but I made a fem reader solely for the fact that my brain rotted at the thought of enemies to lovers waltz with pretty dresses. oh and the dynamic was inspired from "i'm stanning the prince" but like frenemies ver ig.

if anyone's curious this was 3667 words and 8 pages. also i had sm fun writing this that i might do stories with this as it's base hehe.

Tags: female reader, Gyerre!reader, massive novel spoiler, slight canon divergence?, enemies to lovers, but subtle because of their massive prides, misunderstanding, innuendos if you squint hard, light angst? (debatable tbh i dont think i made it sad tho but to be sure), open ending, Alberu pyscho analyzing his friends, god of death is a warning on its own, but he had little screen time, sarcastic Cale is my will to live, not beta read we die like Cale's slacker life

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

If there's something missing in the warnings let me know so I can add it

Any form of interaction toward the post is appreciated <333

Navigation

Masterlist

Everyone who knows Cale thought he would get along well with the beloved cousin of Antonio Gyerre, _____ Gyerre, the only princess of the Gyerre Duchy. Just from a few hours of observing one of them if you know the other you’ll immediately see their similarities; calm, craft, kind, helpful. Even the way they show off their power (in the rare instances they do) are similar.

It’s truly a waste, if only their political beliefs didn’t oppose each other they would’ve been great friends. Partners even.

But of course there are some things that the general public can’t possibly know that only those who are very close to the two know. Like for instance the crown prince of the Roan Kingdom, Alberu Crossman.

If you ask the quarter elf (and actually get an answer) he’ll probably laugh first then say that the two aren’t in conflict because of their political beliefs. In fact both of them are the crown prince’s supporters. With _____ even being his childhood friend that stemmed from their accidental meeting long ago that exposed him being part elf. But that’s a story for maybe never because it’s a dark part Alberu wants to forget.

“_____, there’s a meeting later after Cale announces his commander position. Are you gonna attend? I’m sure you’ll get something useful out of it.”

The prince innocently smiled, as if he doesn’t know that _____ always indulges him.

And so during midnight, after everyone had finished their initial preparation for the war, the three of them had a meeting for further planning. ‘Looting and scamming plans’ as the great and mighty Raon would put it.

“Your highness that’s a great plan but it’s lacking”

“Right I was about to say that, how amazing that for once you’re saying something right young master Cale, you truly are living up to the image the citizens have of you.”

The meeting was conducted smoothly. Of course part of that was the two indirectly fighting each other using their glib tongues and sarcastic tones with Alberu just chuckling and watching the entire thing unfold.

Despite the low-key arguments they always have during these meetings, the redhead commander and the profound business-minded person of the Gyerre duchy synergizes quite well. The plans they think of are very similar so when combined, one is left with a great plan with almost no loopholes. Their thought processes are also very similar, when one of them points out a possible mistake in a plan the other one is quick to bring up a solution as they’ve both been thinking of the same thing most of the time.

“While this meeting has been proven fruitful, I am now going to go back to my quarters as it is late. I thoroughly enjoyed my conversation with the young master of the Henituse household. But I do hope we won’t meet again, this lowly being cannot stand looking at the radiant face of our kingdom’s hero. One is happy enough to observe from a distance.”

Translation: don’t show your smug face with your overrated public perception to me ever again especially if we’re inside the same room.

“Oh no, please I should be the one saying that to you, your highness’ closest friend and confidant. How dare I even think of outdoing such an important person of our beloved kingdom.”

Translation: it should be you who should be avoiding me and simply stick to your business aiding the crown prince to the throne.

Tired from the load of bull she’s hearing, _____ turned around from the communication device and rolled her eyes that caused the crown prince to chuckle.

“Shall I call a maid to escort you to your room? Do remember that you have to attend the tea party the Orsena Duchy is holding in the afternoon.”

The tired lady simply puts her hand up to decline the offer before going on her merry way to her beloved bed, the very reason she likes staying at her childhood friend’s castle.

Alberu really can’t tell why the two have bad blood, acting like cats and dogs (but refined) whenever they meet. The two aren’t even competitive, both are probably too lazy to even think of competition knowing that they’re on the same side. Though they hiss at each other, they also know where to give credit when it’s due (of course sarcasm and backhanded compliments will follow suit).

So from whatever angle one looks at it, it seems as though they should at least be great acquaintances. Well no matter, the two know where to draw the line and it gives the blonde joy in life so he doesn’t dwell on it for too long.

Thus, with mainly the help of three cunning minds and glib tongues the war continued to be in their favor. Though suffering and losses are an inevitable part of war, the Henituse, now duchy, also gained a lot of merits out of it. Especially with most of the heroes being the famous Cale Henituse’s people.

Although there were losses, as the pillars of the kingdom the nobles must not let the citizens feel it. One of their jobs is to put the masses mind at ease as they secretly and thoroughly clean up everything in the background. Even though the war isn’t finished yet they have to show that everyone can still go on about their everyday lives in peace. Hence a celebration is in order. What better way to put everyone’s mind at ease than holding a ball.

_____’s plan was to look around the hall for a minute then scurry to the nearest place she’ll be able to find and hide there for the rest of the night. Naturally nothing goes according to her vision as a certain prince seems to have a life mission to keep her party for as long as possible.

“May I have this dance my lady?”

Of course one of his tactics is focing Cale Henituse to ask the Gyerre princess for a dance. It’s a smart move really, with the commander’s large contribution to their feats, and everyone knowing that _____ also had a hand in strategizing everything makes everyone’s eyes to be on the powerful duo thus leaving no room to decline.

“It is my honor young master Cale”

A dashing spectacle of soft purple and gold captures everyone’s eyes as the two of the most arguably influential people in the kingdom, continent even, occupy the dance floor. Everyone can’t help but watch at how graceful and effortless the two dance.

Cale spins his dance partner as if he's merely spinning a ribbon in the air and lead’s her and lead’s her exquisitely. While all of _____’s movements are one in such elegance that one thinks they can see the gold flowers embroidered in her light purple tulle gown to be alive and fluttering. Helping the two paint such a fairy tale of a performance.

“Say, young master. I suppose you’re not someone who’ll stoop so low to the point of copying someone else's attire for the night right? I’m sure the beloved young master’s outfit was also prepared by his equally beloved hyung.”

Translation: it’s so you to copy me but since I know Alberu had a hand in arranging your clothes tonight I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt

“Why yes princess. You know how the crown prince is, he doesn’t take no for an answer no matter how hard I try to refute. In fact, if I didn’t know the prince was like that I would’ve assumed that you’ve committed piracy. Then again I know that your highness is far above such petty, pointless crimes.”

Translation: how dare you think i’m trying to copy you? If it wasn’t for Alberu’s doing I wouldn’t even think of stooping down to your unattractive sense of style.

As if to strengthen his point, Cale brings their bodies closer with such vigor that got the other ladies whispering about how they wished their fiances and suitors were as romantic as he is. Of course the beloved granddaughter of Sonata Gyerre didn’t back out with her viscous eye contact that other people thought were enthusiastic.

Simultaneous with the crescendo of the music were their movements. As the piece gets more intense so does their movements. The two have forgotten about everything else. All they see are purple and gold flutters of the hem gown and the tailcoat of the long jacket. The intense eyes looking at each other filled with animosity that none of them know where it stemmed from. Intense feeling of adrenaline rushing through their veins in a competition to outdo the other, and the feeling of warm hands holding each other close to the point of it being painful.

While the two got lost in their own world, everyone else cannot help but stop in their tracks and watch in awe. It was even to the point that the two strategists are the only ones occupying the dance area.

‘They make such a good couple. Look at the way they compliment each other and how they dance with such passion, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were just hiding their relationship.’

That’s probably what’s running on everyone’s minds as they misunderstand the battle going on between the two purple clad figures.

“Hmmm, *Aram Khachaturian Waltz… I must say, you have impeccable taste in music. You managed to choose a piece that suits us. But, young lord. If I didn’t know any better I’d think that the possessive grip you have on my waist is trying to leave marks on purpose so the maids tomorrow will get the wrong idea.”

“Of course, it is basic knowledge for a gentleman to be able to choose a fitting piece for his lady. Certainly not my lady, please, I apologize for my actions as I am just trying to not lose you to the intensity of the piece. Though I can say the same thing for you and your sharp nails. What would my butler think when he sees scratch marks on me the next day milady.”

Smile and spin ladies and gentlemen, smile and spin. You mustn't let the enemy know how much they’re getting under your skin. As the music mellows down so as the adrenaline and intensity of the dancing pair. Hence why they are back to making small talks.

“Your Highness you were the one that arranged their outfits tonight right? Is there any reason as to why they seem to be matching? Are you also perhaps rooting for the two of them too?”

_____ can hear one of the noble ladies speak to Alberu as they sway near the blonde’s position. Tapping Cale’s arm twice, they silently communicated to subtly stay near that area to eavesdrop.

“Oh hardly no, their private affairs are for them to deal with unless they confide in me about it. I simply just wanted to show off the close relationship we three have. See, even I have light purple and gold on my outfit and this matching beautiful brooch I had the finest of artisans make for the three of us.”

The two tuning in on the conversation can’t help but lightly scoff at the response provided. Everyone can see that the purple are merely accents of the prince’s suit while it is the main color of the pair’s outfit. Still, knowing they cannot do anything yet as the piece is just about to finish, the two settled on waltzing away to the center when they heard the topic shift from the brooch to the crown prince’s love life.

“You have great dancing skills milord, I thoroughly enjoyed our time together.”

“Likewise milady, now if you allow me to escort you further so we can talk business while waiting for our dazzling prince”

Translation: I’m sure you heard the load of bull Alberu just said so I need you to talk to me to make a petty comeback because I know you and so I know you’re up for it

“The pleasure is mine, I’m sure it's going to be a pleasant conversation”

“Then if you allow me to lead the way…”

If Alberu felt the cold chill run down his spine as he was talking to vassals, then he did a very good job at hiding it. A decision he’ll regret making later on as two pairs of glowing eyes grins at him with malicious intent they like to call ‘payback’.

After that, their relationship got a bit better. There’s still bad blood but thanks to the common headache they share they got along a bit better.

They started getting to know each other outside of the initial image they have of each other and notice the similar traits and life goals they have.

“Cale Henituse only second to the crown prince for being the most wanted bachelor? What? Is this for real? This man is surely doing witchcraft to make his press image look that good. This can’t be the same Cale Henituse I know who isn’t competent at taking care of himself.”

At her words, red eyes maliciously snapped their way to her figure to stare at amusement and resentment.

“Stare at me like that all you want, it doesn’t help my case that you’re bleeding from every orifice of your body right now. Makes me wonder how much trauma you gave everyone who personally saw you like this during the Henituse war. No wonder why they went ballistic. Of course the same thing can’t be applied to me as I will be more than glad to laugh at your demise with front row seats.”

Poor young master Cale can’t even make a proper argument as he is too busy to strive to live another day. Contrary to the princess’ lips that spouts poison like a viper, her hands tell a different tale. Soft, gentle hands cradle the commander’s matted hair as she lightly wipes down the blood causing his usual well cared hair to be this atrocious. Beside him is a baby black dragon who fell asleep from the fatigue of his awakening.

“I hate you but I have to give you credit for being the cause of Alberu’s hilarious face when you dropped everything on him all at once then left to go self-destruct. Anyways I haven’t seen Alberu make a face like that since I told him from what house I’m from.”

The annoyed, but in pain man tried to wheeze out an answer but was quickly shushed with benign hands that just finished wiping his face and is now cleaning up the sleeping dragon.

“Don’t even try talking. Yes, yes I know that look, you’re wondering how did I even get here and if I just went here to mess with you. Well let’s just say that I have my ways and this is me repaying you for the amazing scene you made with Alberu.”

Cale decided on whether he should argue back, but upon the return of warm hands that delicately took care of him he decided to let it pass for once.

Thus, Lady Gyerre took care of the famous commander as his plate fixed itself. This made it easier for everyone else to do their respective tasks seeing that the young master is in good hands.

And if the first thing Cale saw as he woke up was a certain lady’s head sleeping on his side. They didn’t talk about it. And if the first thing _____ felt when she woke were big, warm hands caressing her hair softly. They also spoke no word of that.

Instead, the two continued on with their lives as normally as they could after that.

It doesn’t help that they synergize well so they work with each other quite a lot. It also doesn’t help that since Raon is now relieved, the dragon doesn’t hesitate in asking _____ to stay over and indulge him further. It most certainly doesn’t help that the two of them are good at hiding their feelings, making it seem like they hate each other to the bone with their usual fights.

And it really doesn’t help them that they seem closer than ever no matter how much they try to push each other away.

Late night talks, comfortable skinship, the way they magnetized to each other unconsciously, one constantly seeking out the other especially when it comes to planning.

Yeah, it really doesn't help them one bit.

There’s also the pesky voice that has been watching over _____ since she was a kid that turned out to be the God of Death.

“So you’re telling me that the other kid you’ve been playing with was that guy. Then you told me that if we could meet we would’ve been great playmates? Oh and you’re also the God of Death everyone kept complaining about… I can see where they’re coming from…”

That conversation resulted in the feather pen, a relic of the said god, hardening and smacking the poor princess across the face. Of course _____ Gyerre is petty so she threw the pen in a corner and refused to talk to the God until he explained everything and let Alberu help with the Sealed God’s test.

As the whole thing continues on and everyone gets tired of the two, Alberu Crossman can’t help and try to figure out where the animosity even came from in the first place. Just why are they hostile to each other at the beginning with no explanations. Just what was the thing they saw that made them like that.

If it wasn’t for the Sealed God’s test maybe Alberu wouldn’t have been able to piece everything together.

The two are so similar that they even share their hatred for people who sacrifice themselves without realizing they do exactly just that.

[funny, so that’s how it is]

Alberu laughed to himself one night as he thought about it. Of course his laugh didn’t go past Cale, err Kim Rok Soo as he looks at the tiger as if he transformed into something worse than his current form.

But war is war and there’s little to no time for anything else when you’re focused on not letting this White Star wannabe take over the world. Hence why, despite all the clear signs brooding over them, both opted to continue playing hide and seek of feelings in the middle of war and everything is left up in the air.

Still, humans in general are fickle things that don’t realize what they have been caring for until the direst of moments.

“CALE I SWEAR TO GOD DON’T YOU HAVE A BRAIN? IF YOU DIE HERE RIGHT NOW I’M GOING TO PERSONALLY BRING YOUR SOUL BACK IN THAT BODY JUST SO I CAN KILL YOU AGAIN”

Those words and the back of the one who said it was the last thing Cale registered before he fainted.

When _____ felt uneasy her mind immediately went to Cale and his self-sacrificial tendencies. Good thing that she still has the gift the God of Death gave her a long time ago.

“Listen, the kid I’ve talked about before is coming here soon. I’m sure you’ll get acquainted well. That’s why I’m gifting this to you, you can use this to locate wherever that punk is and go there. Fret not for you can also easily teleport anywhere as long as you have my permission.”

She never thought that she’ll actually use it to locate Cale, nor did she ever think that she’ll be panicking over the man and what he's doing.

Luckily, she arrived in time. Cale just finished using instant and is very weak, near him was someone trying to take advantage of the chaotic situation and finish the redhead off. More lucky that the Gyrre princess has quick reflexes and manages to block off attacks from the bear.

“I’ve heard what the situation is, Raon I’ll hold them off! Just focus on teleporting us out of here!”

A swarm of the remaining bears and black mages left in the Endable Kingdom continue to attack the three. While _____ is a pretty high ranking swordsman, it cannot be denied that she went to the enemy's territory on a whim and with no proper armor. There’s also the fact that she isn’t simply fighting. Rather, she’s protecting the one guy she swore to leave to die. Thus, by the time the three teleported to Puzzle city the two humans have fainted; one with a broken plate and the other one suffering from a large wound inflicted by the enemy.

Humans and their emotions are fickle things. It’s funny how a few words and actions will make them spiral down again. But it works out because these humans know that they are like that, they understand one another. They know that that’s exactly what makes them human.

That’s why when Cale first woke up, after getting his plate fixed again, and the first one he looked for was _____ no one said anything.

When he wordlessly insists on taking care of the unconscious lady no one dared question how he balances all of his tasks in the middle of war.

And when his family sees him getting lost in his own records late at night they don’t disturb. They simply watch over their young master, making sure that he won’t hurt himself as he autopilots his way to juggling making plans and taking care of Lady Gyerre.

Indeed humans are such fickle creatures dense enough to not realize they’ve been tightly holding on to something unless it’s already too late.

But at the same time that very fickleness is what gives them the ability to do an entire 180 once they realize their mistake.

That’s why in his own way, Cale will surely make it up. Set things straight between the two of them, and not let his mistakes on Earth be the same sins he commits in his new life.

*aram khachaturian waltz is the piece that got me brainrotting about the waltz I'm sorry but it gives massive enemies to lovers waltz scene jsdfjaksdgfsdg

#le asks #trash of the count's family #lout of the count’s family #tcf #cale henituse #lcf #lotcf #totcf #alberu crossman #raon miru #lcf god of death #cale x reader #cale henituse x reader #lotcf x reader #totcf x reader

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dorminchu · 1 month

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The Gentle Hum of Anxiety, Chapter Two

Read Chapter One here!

Notes:

Surprise! Here's another chapter, because I had an Eureka moment with Madeleine's knowledge of the Safin family & Safin pilfering from Madeleine's candy-bowl.

Alone in her apartment, Madeleine cuts the lights and lays in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Five years under the pseudonym 'Swann' rendered moot, just like that. Pulling up roots is always a thankless process, but she'll have to disappear sooner than later. Dye her hair. Pop up in a different country inside of a month. Life will resume its fragile stability, with or without her father's intervention. That's the short-term solution. Its alternative only ever comes true in dreams.

Anyone on a first-name basis with the soon-to-be erased Madeleine Swann is in the crosshairs. Friends kept at arm's distance will speculate for a while on her abrupt disappearance. Emails and cards sent to her last known address have a habit of turning up fruitless. But they will have other people to fill the shallow mould left in her wake. A woman with her credentials and connections can find a job most anywhere.

She rolls onto her back, but doesn't close her eyes. The porcelain mask, safe its carved box, sits on the end-table next to the recorder. She's always been more comfortable away from home. Now she is taking work home with her, just like her father and his endless stacks of bound folders and locked cabinets.

This, of course, is an extreme case, and cannot be counted as a slip of judgement. She cannot stomach the comparison, nor the idea of Lyutsifer Safin invading her office twice, only to take back this icon.

Since she was born, and before that, her father has kept records. Men he'd slain personally or in his stead, crossed, worked for when SPECTRE was operating under the name QUANTUM. She's looked over the files, in between holidays and schooling, enough times to recall a handful of names.

A week after leaving Nittedal, while he was planning her mother's funeral, her father pulled her aside to explain.

The Safin family were chemists, working on Blofeld's payroll up until the fall of the Soviet Union. Sometime in the early 'aughts the family's contract was terminated. Lyutsifer, the sole survivor and inheritor of his father's syndicate, was rendered comatose, hospitalised. The doctors chalked the cause of death up to food poisoning and sealed the case.

Madeleine always has had the feeling there was more to it than that, but as a child, she contented herself in a perpetual state of faux-indifference.

There is no reason to start looking deeper now. She has survived on account of her carefully curated ignorance. It is the only way she can stomach her own reflection.

She sits up. Crosses the room, barefoot. Flicks a switch; the lights snap on. Squinting, she makes her way over to the end-table and opens the drawer. She keeps a notebook and recorder in her desk at the Hoffler Klinik, and one in her flat, for nights such as this. She reaches for the recorder. Clicks it on, listening.

Each time his ragged voice breaks through tinny speakers, she strains to discern his words: "...saving someone's life connects you to them forever, the same as taking it. They belong to you."

The hitman in the mask is a creature without humanity. The man beneath permits less room for a childhood monster's nomenclature, or aggrandisment.

Her thumb pushes the stop button. She takes the pen and writes:

Affected by loss. A chasm left in absence of a family he can never fill.

She resumes the recording. Hits the button before the clatter of the lid causes the audio to peak. To hear her own voice succumb to fear is something she cannot stomach. Not while the shock is fresh.

She writes: Finds amusement at others' expense. Favors control. Eager to instruct me. (foxgloves, memory bo—

Ink slashes across paper.

Madeleine's body shudders on the exhale.

Inhale, hesitance.

Exhale, dragging.

She turns the page. Writes:

Reserved but not passive. Deeply invested in father's work. Exhibits sense of entitlement/ownership exacerbated by personal loss. Pause, to look over what she's written, not because of her unsteady hand. She adds, Memory box — mine? His own?

A man who brought with him the relic of a botched hit. If he would pursue the family into Nittendal, why not track down her father afterwards?

She's never asked, point-blank, if her father had anything to do with what happened that day. Her parents were closer to Madeleine, individually, than they were to each other. Her mother stopped putting up that front after Madeleine was old enough to start walking to school unaccompanied.

It wouldn't be the first time her father put his occupation before the well-being of his progeny. Men like her father, like Lyutsifer, operate on the principle of an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. Beneath all the pretty words and platitudes are brutes in well-tailored suit jackets. She is unfortunate enough to inherit the aftermath. Unlike her mother, she has no vices with which to control her aside from an empty heart.

It stands to reason, then, that Safin's love for his father could have blinded him to a similar truth. His father put business before family, and it simply caught up to him in the end. Just like maman. In lieu of self-reflection, he has fixated on the girl he spared for seventeen years.

She looks back at what she wrote: Displeased at the idea of returning for following appointment, or at my lack of reaction to the mask? She strikes it out, and writes below it:

Entrenched within his own designs of heroism. The line between vengeance and justice has become irresolute. To enable such a delusion would be to the detriment of his recovery. Unable to determine at this time whether his emotional responses are feigned or stem from cognitive dissonance. Will require further analysis.

Next morning, she gets to her office an hour after the building opens its doors. Most of the other clinicians are genteel to her face. But there's always bound to be speculation about Madeleine’s certifications and clincial, aloof disposition. Twenty four is awfully young to become an MD. In five years, she'll have enough time and money to settle down and less to fret about, or so goes the canned line.

She's done what she can to make her clients feel safe and respected within her office. She's on amiable terms with her coworkers. Shouldn't that be enough?

"You're up late," Sophia says from her desk. "Did you get some sleep?"

Madeleine hums. "Just enough."

"Your first client won't be here for another hour. If you don't take a break every so often you're going to kill yourself."

Hand poised on the knob, Madeleine forces herself to smile. It is not requited. "Idle hands, you know? I really need to get to—"

"—Safin, isn't it?" Madeleine turns the knob, but doesn't push the door open. "He dropped by earlier." Sophia gestures to the desk. "Left you these."

On the desk is a small boquet. White chrysanthemums. Madeleine hadn't noticed. She's passed by Sophia's desk so many times it has simply become part of the background. This is the last thing she intends to discuss, least of all with anyone at work.

If that's asking too much, perhaps it's time to look for a different secretary or hell, a new job. As if it would make a difference. He'll keep doing this until the only place she can run to is an early grave.

She looks at Sophia, busy with her mortage and children going off to university and issues befitting of an easy, uninteresting life. Madeleine has never taken the time to know her more intimately than small-talk. Sophia might sense something is amiss, but never grasp the heart of Doctor Swann's troubles beyond youthful ennui and poor taste in men.

"I see," says Madeleine tartly. "I'll set them in the vase."

Sophia peers at her from the top of the paper. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes. Thank you."

The door closes behind her. Madeleine pitches them in the rubbish bin.

When he steps through the door, his eyes wander to the framed icon. If he thinks anything of it, he doesn't elaborate. He takes a seat. “You look tired.”

Madeleine says, “I’ve had a long day of work.” His eyes fall on the vase, empty. "I'm afraid I am allergic." A verifiable lie. If he is as attentive as he's letting on, she'll soon find out.

Rather than call her bluff, he has the gall to look empathetic. "Do you realize why I have selected you, Dr Swann?"

Her carefully constructed veneer of professionalism falters. She cannot give him an inch. “I do not.”

You resent the very nature of my survival, and what it signifies. If you're seeking to redeem yourself, that is not possible.

"Your mother was buried in Döbling Cemetery, in Vienna. It's a beautiful cemetery." Two divides; anger and terror, freezing her in place. It is as if he has reached across the desk and slapped her. Her eyes well up. She sucks in a slow breath through her nose and exhales, quietly, as he continues: "You stopped sending flowers."

Her mother's resting place, a simple headstone, wedged between others. When her father's lease on the grave in ran out, Madeleine saw no reason to continue ordering flowers. She'd only done it for his sake, not that he had asked her to. He was too pride to admit such a mistake. It would be to acknowledge his own weakness in front of her, something beyond his capabilities.

“These games,” she says, repulsed by the slight catch in her voice, “the mask, these questions. It’s all a little rote, I think.”

Safin frowns. "The flowers I sent have a meaning." He meets her eyes. "A token of grief. Bereavement and comfort."

Perhaps the only way to get to the heart of his affliction is to let him talk. There is no harm in it, while she catches her bearings. She bites her tongue and holds his gaze.

"The first year, purple lilac — mourning — and white clover — think of me. White roses —" a knowing look that makes her want to throw something "— devotion, silence, reverence for the dead. Peonies and stargazer lilies — for sympathy. Blue delphinium for dignity. Statice for remembrance. Last year, blue hydrangeas — regret, a want of forgiveness."

"I was expecting something more drastic than flowers," Madeleine finds her voice. It is cold and carefully polite.

He inclines his head. "There is no need. We already understand one another." His gaze does not avert, the eyes not quite dead. Whatever humanity was once there has been snuffed out and leaves only the darker undercurrent of a sentiment best left unspoken.

"What makes you think I would understand you?"

His mouth curls. Bile in her throat. "Both of us, born into organised crime. Marred by tragedy."

"You're speculating."

"You asked me to explain myself." His eyes fall to the glass bowl, brimming with pink candies. A psychiatrist's inside joke. The average patient that crosses her door will only see the vessel, the candy, no further than the confines of his own mind. This room has been curated with care.

Wetting the pad of his forefinger, he reaches into the bowl. The candy is waxy, a little sweet. The kind of thing that's too boring to eat with any gusto.

A flicker of repulsion, on the cusp of something else she fails to conceal, shifts into rigid comprehension. When he smiles, her stomach twists upon itself.

"I want to ensure," he says, "there is no misunderstanding between us. Thank you for your time."

In his hands, the mask is little more than a tool to inspire fear. She hangs it on her wall as a declaration of war, with a proper frame. It looms over her office wall, the spiderweb cracks in the porcelain giving the right eye a hollowed visage. A constant reminder of what she is undertaking. What she must never become, nor indulge in. She is asked, Where did you get that? myriad times, and Madeleine smiles flatly and says, a gift from a client, and that's the end of it.

a/n: Third time I've rewatched NTtD, and the greater significance of the candy-bowl sailed over my head completely until a commentator (I think it was on youtube or tumblr) pointed out its Freudian shape and, uh, potential for symbolism. After a good deal of snickering (yes, I'm very mature) I stopped to consider. If the idea was to depict Safin's salacious, quietly unhinged fixation with Madeleine (well, more so the power he assumes he has over her), well, I think the screenwriters didn't let him get weird ENOUGH. The fic probably won't go above a heavy-T to light-M, but it certainly flirts on the borderline.

#nttd #no time to die #canon divergent au #lyutsifer safin #madeleine swann #I haven't seen enough brian depalma films to indicate his works as a frame of reference #but things are going to get psychosexual and fucked up! >:D

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period-dramallama · 1 month

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The King's Mind by Christopher Rae: review.

"How curious men are, how much is hidden, how much left unsaid."

A very late post for @fideidefenswhore sorry for the wait xx

TLDR: Solid, but I have some Notes. Rae is knowledgeable but he falls into some common pitfalls. Not as good as Rae's The Concubine. The pacing is weaker, and unlike The Concubine there is a Whiggish streak that gives the book a preachy taint.

Long post below.

Henry: I'm not easily persuaded

*a few moments later*

Henry: you know what? I've been deceived.

The book starts in media res and even I am a little lost and confused. The book hops between first and third person without warning which gets easier but at first takes some getting used to. Was it always necessary? We go from third person "a sky streaked with red and gold" to Henry saying the sky is streaked with red and gold.

The presence of Weston and Norris in this book is good. It was a good choice to emphasise the presence of Weston and Norris at the coronation. I think a lot of writers tend to forget they existed before 1536. They're Henry's Great and Loyal Friends yet they pop into existence ex nihilo solely so they can be beheaded. Obviously their presence also makes good foreshadowing. They're natural portents of doom.

Sometimes, as is often the way with first person POVs, Henry gets too self aware: “He knows how easily I can be mollified by a good cash offer”. But Rae's is probably the most interesting and nuanced of the Henries. Rae captures his ego: "Mark, who plays the lute so prettily, almost as well as myself." Cromwell “is now better informed than any man alive, with the exception of myself." After a whole book of his ego, Duchess Mary roasting Henry at the end was remarkably cathartic. Girl's got a point.

Henry has a serious case of doublethink. "My sweet Anne, so mild and sensible. I know that they are all constantly working upon her to have their way in this, but she is the true friend of my heart and her counsel will always be in my best interest. Of course, she is right."

On the very next page: "Anne’s eyes gleam with triumph, she believes she has influenced me to align myself with her purposes, and has won the field."

"Anne is naive sometimes and behaves as if matters of grotesque complexity can be reduced to simple solutions, simply because she wills it so."

Pot calling the kettle black, Your Majesty.

"More does not learn from the world, he merely seeks to impress himself upon it."

POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK, YOUR MAJESTY.

"I am glad of it, your majesty, for I am certain of what is true. This strikes me as an odd thing to say at first, but upon reflection I decide that I rather like it, and might profitably adopt it for my own use."

I don't have much to say about this moment, it's just funny and feels very Henrician.

“The king is like a man who sets fire to his own house, and then goes crying in the street for help.” Wolsey decides to ignore this while privately acknowledging the truth of it."

Wolsey:

“The honour of my betrothed must be preserved, and passion must bow before patience.” There's some nice moments of Tudor-style courtship, and Rae does a better job than most of giving Henry a distinct voice: “Diana, flushed with the exertion of emptying her quiver. By the mass, she is pretty when she is roused.” "Ah, my sweet, but I will never allow it. For that would kill me, and I cannot let you become a regicide." “return to the palace where there is precious little pleasaunce now.” PUN! Henry described himself as the king of disappointment, I liked that moment.

Many Henries are pretty gullible, but this Henry has a certain low cunning and I like the interpretation that while he's swayed by Anne he is quite manipulative himself: “I play the innocent most cruelly deceived, and I know that she finds me plausible.”

In terms of pacing, there is a tendency towards repetitiveness. PARTLY but not wholly because, let’s be real, the KGM has a repetitive nature. Like we get it already, Wolsey's fat, he's gotten fat, he's big, he's bulky, he's plus-size, he's chubby, he's out of breath WE KNOW. Anne is impatient and worrying about her age, WE KNOW. Henry is impatient and wants to marry Anne. Wolsey thinks it can’t be done. Wolsey thinks Henry is like a kid who has to be told he can't just have whatever he wants because he wants it, WE KNOW. Henry is fickle and people hope he will tire of Anne. WE KNOOOOOOOOOOW. The book also goes back in time to 1528 less smoothly than in the concubine. (Also, this book again calls Katherine 'Aragon' instead of Princess Dowager, sometimes the Spaniard, which works better.) You could probably cut out Latimer’s recantation to Warham as it repeats what we got from other scenes.

I must give this book some leeway and acknowledge that I'm just not as interested in the political dimensions of the KGM as I am the intellectual and theological dimension: partly because I find it boring and frustrating the way it constantly goes around in circles and there's this document and this document. But personal preferences aside, I still think the book could have been less repetitive.

“she contains within her a deep strand of idealism…But if Anne lacks anything, it is an understanding of the pragmatism that accompanies power.” Anne overall is better characterised in The Concubine. Here it is Anne's insistence that keeps Mary from her mother while Henry is willing to let them meet. Hmm. Disagree, but it's not too bad.

“Thomas More, Bishop Fisher, and of course the great red whale- Wolsey.”

I choose to interpret 'great red whale' as a reference to the 'white whale' in Moby Dick. Wolsey is Anne's equivalent of the white whale.

Ambiguity just how corrupt Wolsey is. "The fate of his grace the Duke of Buckingham, brought down by Wolsey and sent to the block, is not forgotten"- Buckingham's fall was Henry's doing. Wolsey actually warned Buckingham to be more careful.

"And Norfolk? His grace has all the diplomatic ability of a culverin." "Norfolk has nothing to do with things that are broken." Norfolk is slightly softer in here than he was in The Concubine, and not angry all the time.

Unlike The Concubine in this novel Cromwell seems to have a hint of being an evangelical, being motivated by religion.

"Today he will truly make or mar."

"As ever, in the shape he shows to the world, Cromwell is quiet, unassuming, and affable. Not blessed with a great deal of the outward glamour which tracks the interest of women, he relies instead on comporting himself in a manner which causes men to desire his presence."

Men desire his presence, you say? *Eyes emoji*

Also speak for yourself Cromwell is dummy thicc

Rae gives us a witty and remarkably sympathetic Gardiner. He's not usually given this much attention, or depth to his motives and thought process. We have him admiring Cranmer's intelligence.

More has more energy than usual which I like. He's usually depicted as soft-spoken for some reason when there's no indication in the primary sources that he had a quiet voice. We'll get to the problems with him later in the review.

"Fisher... the sympathy he drips with is not of a personal nature. For him Catherine is nothing more than a simple minded, weak, creature, as all women are, and he thinks that she has failed England and the one office which should have justified her feeble existence- to provide the king with the heirs he needed."

I'm not a fan of Fisher but DAMN that's an unusually unsympathetic portrayal. What a meanie. But it's refreshing to see Katherine of Aragon's supporters as less than noble or admiring for a change, at least in their heart of hearts.

Like The Concubine, there are some great turns of phrase.

"For some time he sits there, like some Saint of the early church undergoing a particularly unpleasant and imaginative martyrdom at the command of a Pagan emperor."

"And for the first time he begins to despair, because for the first time he sees clearly that he does not have the power to truly open their eyes. The terrible, inescapable conclusion begins to oppress him; There is actually nothing he can do to prevent disaster."

^^I like this moment because it encapsulates the feelings of many people in the Reformation, on both sides.

“I was nothing more than an empty vessel, like unto A goblet made in the most glorious and rich fashion, but empty nonetheless, a vain, dry thing. Here is the wine which was lacking, it comes now brimming, overflowing, and sweetest tasting anything upon the earth.”

^^ A particularly evocative and authentic conversion narrative.

This book also had some good analogies, like this one: "Master Christopher, think of the king as like a man who has inherited a battery of cannons."

Rae did a good job in this book with foreshadowing and instilling a sense of doom:

“There is a heaven for Anne Boleyn, in which she ascends uncontested to the throne as Queen of England, and a hell also, in which she is confined to being seen as nothing more than the king’s mistress, until he tires of her and moves onto the next one.”

^^It really drives home that Anne's fate is beyond her wildest nightmares. HILLARYYYYYYYYYYYY

"The shadows that have claimed the last of the sunlight are gone from the garden, and the Cardinal's face is now in shade, the whole of his vast bulk entirely consumed by the dusk."

^^A nice bit of pathetic fallacy and foreshadowing of Wolsey's downfall.

"Norfolk, so fond of sending people to the tower. Perhaps he will get the chance to see what is like one day himself?" “As she listens Anne’s eye is drawn upwards; she senses black shapes moving in the air, and she sees two ravens alighting upon the crenelated rampart high above. A sudden chill descends upon her, and she shivers.”

There are some good details in this book. Wolsey in the garden in the evening- Cavendish mentions that he takes evening walks. "He smells of cabbage, cabbage and wet horse dung!" A reference to Gardiner's skill at salads? “but the heat will recede, as it does when the sun progresses around the world and the hours of darkness begin.”

"But as I recall, when Hercules cleaned the stables he also slew the man who owned them. Because Augeas would not pay him for his work, Thomas. I think the king preferred to leave them as they were."

^^ a nice classical analogy. I wish Rae paid more attention to humanism and the classical learning of the characters. He tends to forget about the existence of humanism and the fact that the Reformation isn't binary, especially at this moment in time.

Not all the details are correct: The great seal of England sits inside a white linen bag when it was actually a white leather bag.

Rae continues to have good moments of levity:

“His single word expires, friendless and alone. He looks down at the floor as if he has lost its companions and thinks they might be down there somewhere.” “Ah yes, but there are only so many wives a man may take, before things start to become complicated. I think Henry has discovered this already, no?"

"By the mass I would have her now, hereupon the sweet earthen floor of the forest, with the sound of the rain hissing down upon the leaves around us."

Someone's watched The Tudors.

"His face, when he sees who has come uninvited and unannounced, is a picture, and his people begin at once to scurry to and fro like frightened chickens."

Someone's watched A Man For All Seasons.

"Thomas Howard. And Charles.... Charles..." he pretends to struggle to remember Suffolk's name. "Brandon? My Lords, you are welcome, though your message is not. Let me explain something to you."

Norfolk’s face contorts into an ecstasy of fury and hatred, and his hand reaches for his belt before he remembers he is unarmed. ‘You are ended, Wolsey. By the mass I will kill you myself, with my bare hands. "

Wolsey stares at him, unmoved . "my Lord is intemperate."

He (Suffolk) gropes for a suitably devastating parting shot, but his invention fails him, as it often does."

Hilarious, I love it, 5 stars, 10/10. Wolsey is delightfully bitchy and it's infinitely better than the meh equivalent scene in Wolf Hall.

Now for my Notes.

"The story is that he fell ill on the journey from the north, and died of it, conveniently. I do not believe it. Either he ended his own life, or someone helped him to do it".

While I love the intrigue, this novel has gone to SUCH lengths to stress that Wolsey is stressed, out of shape and in poor health. If there's one thing we know about Wolsey from this novel it is that he is F-A-T. He's also 57. He's no spring chicken. It makes total sense that he'd fall ill and die, especially after a long journey, drinking and eating from a variety of different sources, some of which may well be contaminated. But the characters speak as though Wolsey was a svelte Olympic gymnast who was spinning around on the crossbars until he suddenly died from eating some dodgy kale.

"Then he tosses what remains over his shoulder, and wipes his hands upon the silken cloth." I get that Francis I is the worst but people took etiquette seriously in this time period.

"Mary discovered a taste for them [kings] in Paris, and says that it was the recommendation of king Francis that brought her to the King's attention."

I'm pretty sure historians are questioning the old story that Mary slept with Francis?

Elizabeth Boleyn suggested Anne play hard to get (which I like) but later in the book Rae has Norfolk suggest it to TB years before. Yet Thomas B reacts to Elizabeth as if it was the first time he heard it. So what gives?

And like in the Concubine, Rae puts in things he's read uncritically from historians, and the result is something that makes no sense.

"His [Norfolk] affection for More is undiminished" yet the scene clearly shows that they have nothing in common, they see the world in starkly different ways, Norfolk sees More as vain and stubborn and More sees Norfolk as a crude toady. Norfolk even has a "menacing look" when he looks at More. So what is this nonsense about them having any affection? Well, like Jane Boleyn's nonsensical motives in the Concubine, Rae has read a historian, unquestioningly, and feels the urge to insert it into the story like a square peg in a round hole even though as a writer he can probably tell it doesn't fit.

There are some anachronisms- the phrase 'like a good Catholic'. 'Catholic' means united- Anglicans believe in "one holy catholic and apostolic Church". Protestant and Catholic are divisions that show up in the 1550s. "More is a fanatic"- fanatic is a very modern criticism. People at the time wouldn't object to religious obsession- the problem was if your doctrine was incorrect.

(Also Henry should be happier at the birth of Elizabeth.)

Now for the misconceptions.

While Wolsey did get his BA at 15, university students then were younger than they are now.

“Henry has been taught to stick to what the bishops tell him in matters of religion, and he derives his idea of faith his elders, who have made him think that orthodox observance matters more than a deep personal sense of a world imbued with the Holy Spirit. He is often reluctant to talk about such things, but she has formed the opinion that he is genuinely in motion, attracted by the scent of reform and willing to alter his thinking to accommodate change.”

Henry was given a (renaissance) humanist education. And the humanists like Erasmus were influenced by the late medieval devotio moderna that placed great emphasis on interior faith. Erasmus absolutely believed that inner faith was more important than outward show: that rituals like the Mass mattered, but that empty ritual was bad. But Rae falls into the false binary of Catholic: Rituals Good and Protestants: Rituals Bad.

Gardiner says: “Your majesty must know that the Pope holds the keys to heaven, there is no higher authority. If clarification or exegesis is required concerning the interpretation of scripture, then the final word must always rest with His Holiness.”

There IS a higher authority! Gardiner and More would tell you that the highest authority in the Church is a Church Council. Basically all the bishops across Christendom come together in a General Council and the Holy Spirit descends upon them invisibly, blessing the proceedings and giving authority to the decisions. If the Pope, say, tried to get rid of the Nicene Creed, Gardiner and More would say the Pope is wrong. Because the Creed comes from the Council of Nicaea, and a General Council >>>>the Pope. Papal infallibility doesn't show up until the nineteenth century.

"How can I help you, when I do not believe it is the right course for a Christian king to abandon his lawful wife? I make no secret of it, as you know. I am not one of those who will say anything in the hope of pleasing you."

More's stance was actually closer to: "I'm not qualified to speak on this issue so I stay well out of it". Fiction tends to portray him as more outspoken in Katherine's support (though he did like her as a person) than he actually was. Fisher was the one loudly objecting to the divorce. It was the Supremacy that More took issue with: he was willing to accept the new succession.

"Attend to your Scripture, and tell me where it says that our Redeemer left any vicar to succeed him upon this earth."

More and Fisher don't give a rebuttal to this in the book- because Rae can't think of one. But they actually could: a Catholic would say that Jesus said exactly that in Scripture. Jesus says to Saint Peter in the gospels "you are the rock on which I build my church." Then in the book of Acts, (the sequel) Peter is the leader of the early Christians in the years after Jesus zooms up to heaven. For Catholics, St Peter is the first pope. All the later popes follow him because of something called the Apostolic Succession.

(Also Catholics believe that 2 Maccabees supports Purgatory. Problem is, both 1 and 2 Maccabees are deuterocanonical and therefore less authoritative than the gospels.)

“Going to Wittenberg, I believe, where he intends to continue his work. A new testament in English, what do you think of that, Thomas?” He looks at me and I see the sorrow in his eyes. He thinks very little of it indeed.

“And how will things be then? When the plough boy reads Scripture in his own rude tongue? Without guidance, or education, without knowledge? Without the interpretation of the church placed upon it? He will say, ah, now I understand it, here is the meaning of this, or that. But when he meets his fellow they will not agree upon it, for this man will say, no- you have it wrong, it means this. They will not be of a like mind, and will fall into endless disputation strife. and the heretics will go about amongst them, stirring up whatever abominations they wish. There will be no order in what men think, no agreement. There will be no unity. That is what the church gives to men, unity, and it is our only hope of it.” “And if men throw off the authority of the church, whose authority will they look to throw off next?”

“If the church is corrupted, then it must be reformed, from within, by honest men of faith. Who has appointed master Tynedale to translate scripture into English? Who is there to supervise and approve the work? No one, because it is forbidden, and with good reason.”

This is a mixture of accurate and inaccurate. Yes, More did see the authority of church and state as connected. He argued that the church had every reason to support the king- because when anarchy breaks out, vulnerable priests and monks and their churches are attacked and looted. So it was in the best interests of priests to support, not subvert, secular authority and the rule of law. Yes, More wanted reform from within the church. He wanted political reform of the church not theological reform. He didn't want fewer priests, he wanted well-educated and well-behaving priests.

But More was a humanist. The ploughboy singing psalms as he worked? Exactly what Erasmus wanted. Even when the Reformation was underway, More still wanted an authorised English Bible, as he thought it would do some harm, but on balance, more good than harm.

So why did he have such beef with Tyndale? Because of how Tyndale translated the Bible. Tyndale's word choice in More's eyes undermined Catholic doctrine and made it look like Catholic doctrine didn't have Scriptural support- especially dangerous given that Tyndale was also saying Sola Scriptura. Tyndale pointed out that some of his word choices were the same as Erasmus' word choices. But More argued that Erasmus was translating honestly while Tyndale was being subversive.

And while More's Confutation Against Tyndale's Answer is a fierce criticism, More does quote Tyndale saying something he agreed with: More replies to this quote "this is well and holily spoken". So I wouldn't say More is blind with hatred for Tyndale, any more than Tyndale is blind with hatred for More. If More was blind with hatred, he wouldn't say anything positive about a single word of Tyndale.

“Like many wise men, Thomas More understands astrology and can read what is written in the heavens.” More knew astronomy. Astrology More thought was BS. But that doesn't fit the binary of Rational Protestants versus Superstitious Catholics, even though Rational Tolerant Elizabeth I believed in astrology while UberCatholic Pope Fan More was sceptical.

Rae’s analysis is Whiggish, and like most Whigs, it gets really preachy really quickly.

“His mind is the prototype of the totalitarian. One who has invested in a static system of thought, which cannot easily accommodate change or development. More thinks only in terms of certainty, and cannot bear the presence of doubt, which may undermine the fortress.”

Anachronism aside, historians actually debate whether More's opinions changed over time: if he became more religiously conservative as the Reformation progressed, having started as a humanist Catholic reformer. Personally, I'm on the side of consistency. More was never opposed to burnings and his last letter to Erasmus explicitly supports Erasmus and his work and calls Erasmus' critics jealous people. His debate with Tyndale is a Catholic Humanist versus a Protestant Humanist. And in classic humanist fashion they're arguing about language.

As for doubt: his patron saint was Doubting Thomas. So I wouldn't say doubt is the enemy to him, but that you must overcome your doubts by choosing to believe.

Also More did not see the Church as static. Catholics believed in progressive revelation: ie. you can add to the faith (things like purgatory) if the Church has a revelation that is authorised by a General Council. You just can't contradict the Bible. The Protestants want to go back to the OG Christianity: the faith of late antiquity, and cut out things like Purgatory that are seen as medieval accretions. They want the Church to go back to the old and keep it that way. They are not changing- they are undoing change, in their eyes.

“He [More] thinks himself to be a compassionate man, but is untroubled by the grotesque cruelty he has inflicted on those who have dared to oppose the orthodoxy which he deems essential to peace and salvation. They are given every opportunity to see their errors and recant, and if they will not then they must burn, so that the infection of heresy may be cauterised, and other vulnerable souls may be saved from it. This is a man of the highest intellectual capacity, who has earned his place among the most exalted thinkers of the new century.”

You could say this about literally anyone in the Tudor period. Cranmer is also considered to be compassionate, and his writing shaped the English language, but that didn't help Joan Bocher, did it?

"Now there is nowhere for men like More to turn, except back to persecution and mediaeval barbarity."

I haaaaaaaaaate this line. It’s so Whig history. As someone interested in ancient history and also the Tudor and early modern period in particular, I can confidently say that barbarity is absolutely not the preserve of the mediaeval period. On the contrary, the early modern period gives us more holy wars and witch hunts. Back to persecution? Persecution was ongoing. Protestants in heartlands like Zurich were drowning Anabaptists in the Rhine at the same time as Catholics were burning them!

(Also Protestants believed in the Trinity and infant baptism even though there's actually no explicit mention of those things in the Bible...)

#historical fiction #book reviews #just so you know: i'm not catholic #i've never been catholic #i'm just tired of one-sided portrayals of the Reformation

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slocumjoe · 1 year

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Actually, I'll take a moment to describe what my image of Gage is, as someone who has never played Nuka World and can't (poor), and hasn't dug through all of his in-game lines (time consuming)

My 'fix' of Gage was exclusive nuka-world (I think that was their user) and another tumblr user who posted Gage specific reacts. Nuka-world was the Preston stan who had Tracy, pretty popular artist. You've definitely seens remnants of their work, but they deleted i believe. They portrayed Gage as, like, a weird, lemme teach you crime kind of uncle/older brother who liked lizards and simple mischievous pleasures.

The other tumblr who I do not remember the name of portrayed him as this...very nuanced individual, full of contradictions that he justified to himself? So, that Gage was closer to Canon Gage, from what I can tell, but he was written to very clearly not belong with raiders.

That Gage had good people in his life, growing up, that taught him strict morals; some of which he kept. He held doors open for women, he hated raiders as much as he thought that way of life was the only viable one, he was loyal to those who earned his respect and trust. He wasn't a good guy, but he could have been. If you scraped off the raider shit, underneath that jaded exterior was just a normal guy.

So, my interpretation of Gage is a somewhat weird, off-kilter, but no-bullshit man who didn't want to be doing what he was doing deep down, but was never shown a different way to survive, and even if it meant being the problem, he refused to sit and let himself be a victim. If he had a choice between problem, victim, and solution, he'd have picked solution. But he never saw that choice. And maybe if there was a choice like that, presented to him now, and that choice had some real spine to it, he very well would still choose different.

Now, that's almost certainly OOC. But that was still a character I liked; it reminds me of many people I know IRL. Not people I'd call good, because they've made questionable decisions and have odd views of the world. But they aren't bad either, because they have heart and try to do their best with what they have, which is little. This version of Gage isn't a good person, or a bad one. He's just a person.

More specifically, the way I always described him, mentally, is that he's "a wolf trying to become a sheep so the sheep stop headbutting him."

So, my Gage doesn't care for any raider shit. He's concerned about hygiene, he has tastes for the finer things in life that you can't brute force, he wants to do his own thing and be left alone, and doesn't necessarily want to bother anyone else. My Gage thinks economics are important, understands politics, supply and demand, the benefits of raider life VS the life of peaceful communities working together. He just sees that the raider way comes on top.

The way it would play out in my Sole's story, if she ever went to Nuka World, is she'd fuck with him, and force him to make that choice again.

Isadora would go in, kill Colter, talk to Gage, and realize: Oh. This guy doesn't belong here. This guy doesn't want to be here at all, really. He wants something this life cannot provide and couldn't sustain, because it opposes it on a fundamental level. But my Minutemen and my cities, they could. But he won't come willingly.

So she kills Colter, and tells Gage: I am going to come back with my army, and do whatever I have to do to save the people you are oppressing. I have the ability to do this as a weekend vacation; my men outnumber yours 20 to 1, and they don't share my compassion and understanding for your kind. But I can see that you are not like 'your kind.' I will give you the chance to unite and prepare for a siege, or to leave Nuka World and come back with me, as one of my personal unit.

And Isadora walks while Gage laughs her out of the room. He hates that he's left as Overboss, now, but that's his only worry. Farmers with guns? Pfft.

Then he starts hearing talk of the Minutemen, the first bit being "one of our guys spied on one of their bases and they have a lot of sentry bots."

"...how many?"

"He cant count past ten, since that's all the fingers he has."

Because Isadora is a robots expert. She makes robots. She did this for a living before the bombs. 1 sentry bot? Bad. 2? Fucking bad. Three? Nope, you're dead. 4? 5? 10? More? Overboss Gage is worried about the bots, but they can outsmart them, use mines, maybe get an EMP thing going...the farmers will drop like flies then.

"Farmers? No, we're hearing its a military."

"Pfft, a military."

"They have trucks and shit. Tanks. Vertibirds."

"...w-well, those sure do explode nicely...which they will..."

"They're all wearing combat armor and are armed with guns that make our pipe shit look like kids toys"

"...fine. We'll partner with local raiders and take them out as one unified force"

"They killed all local raiders. There are no raiders over there."

"Fucking what."

"There isn't even merc groups anymore because the Minutemen deal with everything"

"Fuck sake. Okay. Well their economy and whatever has to be shit"

"They have no poor people, no rich, no one goes hungry, everyone is clothed, and has access to Healthcare and education. They're having a lot of kids and people get old there. Some people are writing books and music and stuff. Making art again."

It takes maybe a few people reporting back with info before Gage realizes who has plot armor and who doesn't. And Gage, as much as he hates everything that is happening, wants to be an essential NPC. He gets the gangs together, tells them they're fucked if they don't do this right, and they kinda just blow raspberries at him.

Gage is at the Castle doorstep cussing out Isadora's name within a week, and he's the newest adopted adult within a few days.

He fucking hates Isadora and she just kinda treats him like an aggressive purse dog. "Oh, don't mind Gage, he doesn't bite!" (GAGE SNARLING AND FOAMING AT THE MOUTH IN THE BACKGROUND)

"Isa. Is that a fucking raider"

"yeah I found him on the front door I think someone left him :( and it's so cold lately and he looked hungry" (GAGE PISSING ON A MINUTEMAN FLAG AND MAKING BARF NOISES)

"isadora that is a grown man who is a fucking raider"

#meanwhile danse in the background; haha okay honey i guess we can take him in #(hates this but thats his wife. whats he gonna do? not support her???)#meanwhile preston; already throwing hands

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noxxha · 1 year

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Why did Madara perpetuate the cycle of violence (pre-Konoha)?

While I wrote my analysis for Izuna, and if he is anti-peace, my thoughts began to wander and wonder about Madara in this particular scenario.

After all, he was the leader at the time - he had the possibility to find a solution that did not have to involve death, no?

If nothing else he wanted the wars between them to cease, so why then did he go against his ideals and dream(s)?

Was it solely because of Izuna (if we for a moment believe that he was one of many advocating for the war/s to continue), or was there something else that urged him to continue the very battle that he loathed, and feared would take what was most precious, from him?

Izuna’s reason(s) for not accepting Hashirama’s offer of ‘peace’ has everything to do with context about the situation at the time (while playing detective with these crumbs for details to get a more nuanced picture), but Madara?

He shared a history with Hashirama that Izuna did not, and the moment Hashirama makes his offer, Madara considers accepting it (in the anime there is a brief scene added with Madara remembering a stone being skipped across the river - to illustrate just how important peace is to him - even after years of battles) - until Izuna warns his brother, and as such talks him out of accepting Hashirama’s outstretched hand.

I read a comment once that said, more or less, that if Madara truly loved his brother he would have ended the war with the Senju/other clans.

A fair point. Truly. However, war is not that simple. Never.

For one, a plan was needed. Whether it was creating Konoha or a different village made by the Uchiha - and the clans identifying more with their values (say the Hagoromo clan for example…obviously…) - they needed to do something or else they would have been wiped out.

Being a shinobi was their first source of income, and lowering their status to that of civilians, or farmers if we go for a touch more historical accuracy, would probably have spelled their doom long before the Uchiha massacre - at least at that time.

The Naruto world is cruel as that, after all.

Hashirama wants peace, but he is not incompetent in the art of battle - or would he be called the “god of shinobi” if he was? Of course not. His moniker has to come from somewhere.

And had the Uchiha dismantled their entire lifestyle, any and every clan would either have sought out to enslave them or slaughter them - which would change the power dynamic in the favour of the Senju if nothing else…

And even if Madara had ended the war “just like that”, there would have been emotions - trauma, literal trauma - to untangle and work through - most likely well after their death, even. It would take generations for their animosity to shift (if it ever would). And if one takes a look at Konoha, and its treatment of the Uchiha clan, it is not a much brighter future than the war/s and slaughter they would leave behind them.

And Madara did love his brother - so much so that he tarnished his reputation as a leader (as a protector) for the sake of Izuna. He became mad with grief and despair over the loss of Izuna - who was everything to him and represented his dreams in physical form even (peace was meant for Izuna and their clan).

Izuna was the symbol of peace that helped Madara believe in it.

Then again, with no personal moment between Madara and Izuna it is admittedly tough to say with absolute certainty that Madara loved Izuna - but there are two moments that do point in that direction (the river confrontation and the moment Madara escaped the battlefield with a mortally wounded Izuna - and I will go so far as to claim Madara’s Susano’o symbolizes their bond as well) and fulfill the age old saying of “show don’t tell”.

It is subtle, implied, yet one cannot mistake Madara’s protectiveness for anything less than devotion.

The anguish in his gaze says everything.

There was probably quite the conflict simmering beneath the surface in that moment; the desire to end the wars, to see to a peaceful future for Izuna - having to watch him in pain and dying - to struggling with accepting his brother’s wish despite wanting to end this godforsaken war for all of them.

He looks to their fallen Uchiha brethren on the battlefield, and his conflicted state is replaced with a look that has made its choice; he chooses Izuna over his desire for peace.

At least in that moment.

Who is to say that the Uchiha clan even wanted to join in a village with the Senju? We are shown that Madara considers it - but he is not entirely convinced, either (note the speech bubble). He is certainly supportive - dares even to be hopeful - but he probably was careful at the same time, to not get too hopeful.

Disappointment hurts after all. Especially when you feel as deeply as Madara does.

(It is actually interesting to see how different one language is translated into another, and how different people interpret the language. The above scan is a fan-translation, not the official one. In the german version of the Manga, Madara does not sound as unsure as the …. make him sound.

His words in german (both speech bubbles, the first one ends at “kleiner Bruder…”)

“Ja, wenn wir dieses Dorf gegründet haben, kann ich auf meinen kleinen Bruder…von hier oben aus aufpassen. Von hier, wo ich das ganze Dorf überblicken kann!”

The only indication of Madara appearing thoughtful is in his expression and that the speech bubble is slightly “shaky”. Just a tad.)

While it does change the tone of the scene slightly, it does not change the fact that you can see a certain thoughtfulness in his expression (which can be read that he is not entirely certain that a village is the right course of action…but what else could be? He is not lacking in imagination, but its not easy to find a way to make peace concrete - especially for a child)

In the german version Hashirama does not say “permanent last change is the key…” he instead asks a question that goes:

“Aber wie können wir die Welt verändern?!”

“But how can we change the world?!”

That changes things. It shows that Hashirama was not sure about how to achieve peace (and it makes sense - he was a child, after all. And no matter how visionary a child might be, some things are not easy to conceptualize even for the strongest of dreamers)

What does not change from Madara’s side is that he places a condition upon this dream of theirs; Izuna’s survival so that he can live in peace first and foremost.

But the rest of the Uchiha clan? What if they wanted to create their own village independent of the Senju?

Admittedly, an alliance between Uchiha and Senju would have kept outer threats to a minimum, that much is true, but what about the enemy amidst them? The inner threat? The fact that humans are the way they are?

The power balance was the following pre-Konoha; the strongest clans at the time were Senju and Uchiha.

But even amongst the strongest - there has to be one who is weaker. Or that there is a back and forth between them.

And, in all honesty, they are not depicted as evenly matched. The Uchiha appear as if they are constantly being outclassed by the Senju (or so it feels). Madara is the weaker one between him and Hashirama, but that is only because the might of his Mangekyō Sharingan comes at a hefty price (the loss of his eyesight), unlike Hashirama’s kekkei genkai.

Kishimoto really went overboard with the power-scaling. Shounen manga, I know, I know, but still…

Regardless, the Senju and the Uchiha are the strongest clans at the time…and we are constantly shown the importance of power - how much ‘power’ it holds over so many characters and influencing their worldview - and in the world of Naruto power means everything. With power you have influence. With power you have the possibility to change the world. With power you have a great chance of keeping your loved ones safe.

But would all that not be a cause for concern in an alliance? Especially an alliance with such powerful forces? The Senju and the Uchiha did - in all likelihood - not define power the same way, and so, would their alliance not be plagued by friction and power struggles?

There was so much distrust and resentment between the two clans that was never worked through as well. Not in a healthy way.

What did Hashirama do once he became Hokage? We are not shown anything, but Madara’s dissatisfaction is implied during Onoki’s flashback and plainly stated while he speaks with Hashirama before the stone tablet - as in, Tobirama will be the man that seals their fate.

We can even switch the question around and question what Madara did - and what he did not - do.

A conflict is caused by two (or more) people. So Madara is not entirely blameless for contributing to the situation that would end up dooming the Uchiha clan.

But the most likely scenario is that Madara attempted to make himself heard, attempted to have some sort of influence - but Hashirama and Tobirama directly - or indirectly - sabotaged his attempts. Not only that, Madara’s reputation was in shambles, and that was probably something else that weakened his political might even further.

But it could also have been - due to being excluded - that Madara eventually withheld his opinions on things whenever (if) he was asked. Not that he appears to be written as that type of character, but resentment can cause humans to react in all sorts of ways. Bottling everything up or becoming passive aggressive is only two reactions of many.

And then we have Tobirama, who - once he became Hokage - would end up proving Madara (and, far fetched as it is, Izuna even) right. He would worsen an already tense situation, until it ended up overflowing into plans for a coup d’etat and, as an answer to such a threat, the eventual massacre of the Uchiha clan.

Tobirama in particular let his fear blind him and it caused him to punish an entire clan when the true source of his fear/hatred/resentment had everything to do with Madara (who shared the sentiment on the hatred/resentment front) and not entirely the rest of the clan.

Tobirama is justified to be wary of the Uchiha clan as much as the Uchiha clan is justified in their dissatisfaction for being pushed aside (they were pushed to the outskirts of the city where a former prison - a prison - once used to be, what rejoicing implications…) treated like second class citizens - or like dangerous animals needed to be locked away - when Konoha as a village would not stand where it does had Madara not agreed to it (or, it probably would to be fair, but would it flourish the way it did on military might? Doubtful).

If going back to Hashirama for a moment, I will make the claim that the moment their dream came true Hashirama lost sight of the fact that the Uchiha clan is not the Senju clan. Trying to unite the clans, stripping them of their individuality in so doing, could only end in uproar eventually.

Realistically every clan would have different values and views about a lot of things, in the Manga we are mostly shown differences in ideologies, not so much differences in beliefs (religion) or smaller things such as diet, marriage, how children are raised, how people treated each other in the clan (gestures, affection) etc.

All of that makes or breaks a village/society intending to function. And Konoha was made up by many different clans with their own traditions, worldview, values and sense of morality even.

Well, we were shown how the Hyūga treated their own…and Konoha let them practice slavery, and would end up murdering the clan that founded the very village they were all so proud of. The Uchiha massacre would end up being kept a secret from the public also…

Historically samurai were paid in food - usually rice - and land. A select few were given land for their service and loyalty, which gave them the ability to “grow their own food and generate wealth”. (source)

Samurai were paid in land by the daimyō. And if we look to the Senju clan and Uchiha clan, we do see a hint of favorism (on the basis of strength no doubt), it is a difference to care for people because they are the strongest - and therefore the safer option on the economical front - and to care for people because you genuinely care for them.

The Senju do appear to have it better on the economical front. Hashirama changes attire throughout his flashback - Madara is seen wearing the same, long sleeved shirt/tunic throughout the memory.

And here only Izuna is shown wearing armour on the side of the Uchiha, while the Senju are all (mostly) protected by armour.

This might hint at that the daimyō themselves were weary of the constant fighting. They wanted might and land - the slaughter of clans be dammed.

The system that was in place at the time during the Warring States Era was that clans were loyal to the highest bidder. Perhaps they had an alliance or two with a particular clan (as was the case historically, one such alliance that comes to mind was the Azai and Asakura alliance as well as the Oda and Azai alliance), but their loyalties probably shifted, so much so that they had a rule of never giving out their surname, for fear of slaughter.

As much as Madara thrives on the battlefield, he does not show that much enjoyment while fighting the Senju clan (because of their shared history I imagine) and instead I would almost say that he felt…desperate.

Desperate - and fearful - that if they stopped their war they would be wiped out.

Madara’s trust issues were probably the strongest contributor to the fighting continuing. And here is another important detail that might explain why Madara did not end the war/s even though he wanted to:

Madara knew Hashirama as a child - but not as an adult.

People change, after all.

The one who knew Madara was Izuna. Hashirama only remembered Madara as the child he met, and he let that view cloud his judgement to a degree (until he could no longer view him that way and Madara disillusioned Hashirama about who he had become - and Hashirama did the same to Madara)

To be fair, Hashirama does not strike me as someone that would wipe out an entire clan “just like that” - at least not at that point in time. Konoha had yet to twist his character into someone even Madara was horrified - and disappointed - about.

Madara changed after Izuna’s death (and the loss of his dream)

Hashirama changed after Konoha was built (and his dream was realized).

But why then would Madara continue the war between the Uchiha and Senju? When the risk of losing Izuna was high?

A part of Madara probably felt the same way Izuna did. That it simply could not end well (they had been at each other’s throats for generations, after all), but he wanted so desperately to believe that Hashirama would prove him wrong - that peace was possible. And Hashirama disappointed him severely.

#madara uchiha #izuna uchiha #hashirama senju #naruto analysis #tobirama senju #thoughts #long post

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fallout4-reacts · 1 year

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Anonymous asked: Can I request fallout 4 companions (and Maxson if possible) reacting to sole getting infected with FEV but they’re not a super mutant yet. Like, there’s that spot if time after infection where sole is still relatively human but symptoms start happening (the paranoia, hardening skin, pain etc)

Part 2 (1 - 3 - 4) Codsworth / Curie / Danse / Dogmeat

It's time to celebrate the triumph; the Institute has been blasted to the ground, and everyone is overjoyed. Then a voice emerges over the fray, a voice that Sole is all too familiar with. Justin Ayo's voice.

"Sole! You annihilated what I had spent my entire life defending! You ruined my home, family, and dreams. And you think you're going to get away with it?"

Sole's companion reacted quickly, raising their weapon at the former director of the Synth Retention Bureau, but even if they killed him instantly, it wasn't until he shot a syringe gun at Sole.

The companion turns to Sole, horrified to realise that the syringe contained... the FEV

Codsworth : The poor robot worries that his universe has evaded him for the second time in his life. But he finds that it is worse this time. It's ten times more frustrating for him right now because he knows exactly when it happened and why.

"But is there truly no solution, Mom/Sir?"

Sadly, Sole sighs. On that misty morning, when they arrived back to Sanctuary, Codsworth greeted them warmly as usual and hurried to prepare them a cup of coffee just the way they loved it. Finding coffee is one of Sole's marvels. And Codsworth continues to greet them with coffee, served to them at 173.5 degrees Fahrenheit. It's just the way they like it.

But on this foggy morning, when Sole returned to Sanctuary looking so depressed, they entirely ignored the cup that Codsworth still holds out to them with optimism, hoping that this simple gesture will erase what they had just uttered.

Because Ma'am/Sir cannot and must not become a monster. It's unthinkable that only two days, six hours, twenty-three minutes, and eighteen seconds remain before his mistress/master finds themselves in impasse, Codsworth unable to serve them. Impossible.

The coffee has gone cold.

I'm going to brew you another cup of coffee. This one is no longer deserving of your attention."

The coffee is too cold; it must not be. It should never be cold. Mum/Sir prefers their coffee hot and smoking.

Codsworth must ensure that the coffee is freshly brewed. Sole's protest is dismissed by Codsworth. A delicious cup of coffee. A delicious cup of steaming coffee. That's exactly what Sole requires.

Then something explodes near Codsworth. Sole breaks out in a fit of rage. He repeatedly slams his fists on this pitiful counter that has lasted for two hundred years to keep serving Sole's breakfast. The counter has now folded in half as a result of Sole's continuous assaults. They must have put in a lot of work to get this level of strength.

"Ma'am/Sir, where should I put your eggs, now?"

Sole looks at him for a little moment, taken aback. They glance down at their bloodied hands and the demolished counter. They then busted out laughing. They laugh uncontrollably and collapse on the ground. Codsworth pities the impoverished counter, where he can no longer place meals for Sole.

"I'll... have Sturges come and fix it. He'll undoubtedly be able to create a new one. You will be able to prepare meals for your new m... for Shaun."

Codsworth lowers his truster's power and "lands" near Sole on the ground. He brings them a cup of hot coffee. Sole accepts.

"Curie will come up with a solution. I am optimistic about the future! You're composed of something equally potent as General Atomic products. I'm confident you'll make it."

Sole blows on the beverage and takes a long and sweet sip before sighing regretfully and dropping the cup next to them on the ground.

"Thank you so much, Codsworth. Thank you so much, my friend. I'll leave now. I will return. I'll return in four days."

The way Sole uses those words makes Codsworth nervous. It reminds him of a few hundred years ago, when Sole looked to him one last time before leaving the house.

"Take good care of yourself."

(I didn't use a phonetic characterised to recall Curie’s French accent)

Curie (romanced) : She didn't waste any time. She provided her instructions. She did, in fact, give her orders. She's come a long way since her inexperience in the outer world. She rose to the position of chief surgeon at the Sanctuary Hospital, which Sole renamed The Curie Foundation. She is now accustomed to giving orders rather than receiving them. And she's providing them. She sent MacCready and Strong to Vault 81 to get all available research material. She's sent X6 and Danse to the Glowing Sea to get Virgil. She dispatches Deacon and Preston to Railroad HQ and Goodneighbor in order to retrieve Carrington and Amari. She sends all these lovely people as if she were Sole in person. Her final directives are the most difficult. Those about she knows the least if it will be executed.

"Nick and Cait, I need you two on a task more tough than anything else. I'm going to confine Sole in a cryogenic chamber in the operation room until we find a cure. I'm sure they won't let that happen. I want you to take whatever means necessary to get them to accept. You have to get them drunk, drug them, or knock them out if you can't talk them through it. I don't mind. We must halt the degradation of their cells as quickly as possible. The capsule will be ready for use tomorrow. Sturges will assist me in obtaining the equipment I require from Vault 111. I'm relying on you."

There have been wars and warfare on the surface while Curie has stayed closed up in the bottom of her vault and time has passed. But the operation she'll be running for the next 24 hours is worth every battleground she could have taken. She is the General for the next 24 hours. Her command post was the operating room at the hospital, and her base of operations swiftly became a laboratory that the Institute would envy.

Nick and Cait manage to get a barely conscious Sole inside the cryogenic capsule that Curie brought up with the help of Sturges at midday tapping on the second day. They are all holding their breath as the stasis occurs. And the first step has been completed successfully.

Curie is a synth. She outperforms humans in terms of technology. But then she feels a knot of pain release in her spine that she was not previously aware of. At the same time, she hears Nick exhale a sigh of relief. She isn't the only technological being who feels simply human right now. Nick and Cait look at her while they wait for the next order.

"You'll have to go to Kendall Hospital in Cambridge. You're going to acquire me as many samples and medical supplies as you can. There was also Medford Memorial Hospital. Consider sweeping Med-Tek. You'll return, and we'll send a second group to the south."

Danse's vertibird is the first to come back, much to her relief, and with Virgil's assistance, she can better focus her efforts on the component that is required for the isolation station. A demoleculator, a nucleic isolator, a capacitor, a...

"A mass spectrogram. We urgently require a mass spectrogram!"

"As well as a centrifuge. How did you not consider using a centrifuge?"

"I directed Nick's attention to an autoclave. I should have thought about getting a centrifuge! What a terrible doctor I am!"

Virgil takes a moment to consider the pitiful woman in front of him before gently patting her shoulder.

"Everything will be OK. You truly have had a stroke of genius with cryogenics. We now have time, which I did not have for me."

Instead of making her feel better, his words brought Curie to tears. Virgil is at a loss for what to do with this woman, who is clinging to him in sobs.

"Come on, come on," he urges again as he clumsily pats her on the back. "Your Sole, we're going to save them. I have hope. You appear to be competent enough to carry out this experiment."

"It isn't..." Curie finally wipes her tears away before straightening herself. It's not an experience," she said. "They're my love."

"Then we will save them, your love."

She seeks Virgil's gaze but only finds the unwavering confidence of those who are persuaded they are telling the truth. Sniffing once again, she rises up and assumes her duty as Medical General.

"Perfect. So, with the samples in vials A3, D2, and B7, we'll begin by isolating Sole's DNA pattern."

"Was B7 kept in a frozen state? It may have tainted..."

"That's why we'll use it to build mitochondrial strains."

Danse (romanced Post-BB) : It's akin to a ghastly dream. The most ghastly of nightmares. Beyond the most dreadful of all dreadful nightmares. Years of cautiousness, of shielding his heart, of resisting closeness... only to have it ripped away once more.

"I'd want to point out that I'm not dead yet... You're not going to kill me? Yes?"

Danse is non-responsive. That is the dilemma. Until now, until they discovered that he was actually a synth, everything had always been so simple. Difficult, it goes without saying, but simple. There was a clear line. The Brotherhoods, their beliefs, and everything else. As not being a part of everything else, questioning was not necessary. The decision should have been unquestionable. Sole would have already perished.

But can they really be allowed to live? Can they? Can he permit the individual nearest to his heart to transform into a beast because he lack the fortitude to terminate their existence now that he possess a choice? It matters not. He doesn't really have a choice anyway.

Right after that miserable Ayo hit the dirt, Danse swiftly moved towards Sole and pulled them into their residence. In the confines of their home in Sanctuary, he is more conflicted than ever before.

"I... should do it, shouldn't I?"

Sole beckons Danse to join them as they sit on the couch. Danse has always admired their ability to dominate their sentiments. Sole is infallible. No matter how hard they are strike in their the heart. When they learned Shaun was the Institute's director, they didn't fail. They persisted even after discovering Danse's synthetic nature. They did not falter when they had to defend him before Maxson and reject the Brotherhoods. They did not falter when the Railroad declared all was lost and the Minutemen were their only hope. They did not waver as this mere semblance of a child implored them to bring him along (Hell, Dance didn't even take his new adoptive son into consideration in the issue). They persevered without fail.

Danse has faith in Sole's ability to make the correct choice and discover the solution to the problem. They always do.

Or so he believe.

"Was there not a fellow in the Glowing Sea? Virgil?"

Danse didn't even notice how high his voice went in the octave, full of hopes and so afraid of being disappointed.

Sole shakes their head slowly. They closed their eyes for a moment as Danse dropped to their side.

"Time's running short, isn't it?"

"Basically. At best, I have maybe three days."

Sole is embraced by Danse, unsure of any other course of action. For tonight, he prefer not to think too much. The night whispers wisdom, doesn't it? But the dawn breaks with no response, only the identical inquiry that repeats incessantly in his mind. The sensation of agony returns, akin to the moment when he uncovered the truth that shattered his identity and beliefs. And the dread that sends him spiralling between life and death is the one he cherishes above all else - the one who helped him find his way when he was lost. But Sole perseveres. They decide to consult Curie.

The plan is satisfactory.

"I regret to inform you that I am unable to provide a solution at this time."

The plan was absolutely awful. And Sole erupts into a rage as swift as it is unexpected. Danse has never witnessed such intense emotion in Sole, particularly anger, and is caught off guard as they hurl the examination table to the opposite side of the chamber.

Regrettably, Danse comprehends that he has but one option. Not bound by the Brotherhoods and their doctrines, not bound by terror, but merely bound by logic.

Sole finally seems to calm down a little and turns to their lover, an infinite pain in the eyes. They slowly nod in agree with what Danse has already comprehended.

"If you can do it, do it."

Curie may object, but there is nothing that can undo the dire destiny that looms over Sole. Danse pulls his trusted weapon out and directs it at Sole.

"Let me express my fondness for you," he say. "I will always cherish you. I... I love you."

"I will love you forever, far beyond death," Sole reply.

Danse did not miss. Sole's suffering was the last thing he desired. They shall never experience agony again. As for Danse, now he will endure the daily suffering that life bestows upon him.

Dogmeat : His master quickly exits the crowd. He follows them. His master sinks into the wasteland. He follows them. His master enters a cave near the quarry's bottom. He follows them. His master lashes out, growls, and howls. He sulks and lies down. His master returns to him and trembles as he clutches him tightly in their arms. He licks their cheeks. His master eventually slumped on a sleeping bag, tired. He sleeps near them.

Something doesn't feel right to Dogmeat. He detects a strange odour inside Sole. He has the impression that something is infected. But it makes no difference. Dogmeat will be with Sole till the very end, if not longer. Dogmeat remains when Sole spends a few days crying, panicking, and fainting in anguish as their smell changes repeatedly. When his master no longer looks like his master after a few days, Dogmeat stays. He joins them when they finally exit the cave and goes in search of animals to hunt. When Sole begins eating the radcerf without first cutting and burning the flesh, Dogmeat joins them for the meal. Sole is larger. Sole is more powerful. The color of Sole appears to have altered. Sole's odour has changed. Sole growls much louder. Sole says fewer words. But Dogmeat was still Sole's dog.

#codsworth #curie #fallout 4 curie #paladin danse #danse #fo4 danse #dogmeat #fallout 4 #fallout 4 companions #fallout #fallout 4 reactions #fallout 4 react #fallout companions #fo4 #sole survivor #fo4 companions #reactions

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dyslexicandakeyboard · 1 year

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Haven't really seen this argument anywhere but I wanted to add somethings to it.

Basically, its the whole Batman's "No Killing Rule" V Red Hood's Methods. (This isn't to give a ruling on which plan is right or to bash any character. And while I've read comics, it's UTRH which is what I'm basing a lot of my info from, this is also based off of fanmaterial)

Jason's method is to kill criminals indiscriminately if he needs to verses Bruce's killing no one.

The flaws of Jason's plan that sprung out to me are: It's short term, Doesn't combat the problem, Assumes all criminals cannot be rehabilitated, and is relatively inefficient.

The reason why it's short term is that it doesn't think about the long run. If he kills all criminals that Gotham has in a year, that does nothing to stop new criminals popping up the next year and the year after that. It's a short-term solution.

Because of the solution being short-term, it doesn't actually address the reasons most of the goons and some of the big-named villains are active. Therefore, it doesn't actually lead to any long-term improvement. AKA, it's a bandage. If Little Jim lives in a high-crime place, has bad schooling, and lives around gangs. Killing John that rob the bank five miles away it's going to do much good for him.

Most of the goons, some smaller criminals, such as muggers and the like, and like one to two bigger villains (Looking at you Harley) can actually be rehabilitated. Most goons are goons because that can't do anything else, most petty criminals are like that because they have not other opportunity. By painting them with one brush to say they're all irredeemable is not, for lack of better words, not good.

Next, I've never seen any of the big-named villains be killed. Ever. Jason had some opportunities to kill Black Mask. Instead, joined the drug trade, stole from him, kill most of the lackeys at the bottom of the pole who probably had no choice in where they worked. If Jason's track record is anything to seen, then this method is quite inefficient.

On the flipside, Bruce's method is: Build solely for the long run, Combats the problem ineffectually, Assumes all criminals can be rehabilitated.

Unlike Jason's method, the full effects of Bruce's method will only be felt by the next generation. If he rehabilitates criminals while creating a less corrupt and fairer Gotham for the future, then the only people benefiting at the future generations. While Bruce does try to combat the issues with some short-term strategies, taking criminals to jail, this falls through due to the present state of Gotham.

Which is the next point as this is an ineffective way of dealing with the problem. Gotham's really corrupt, like 95% of the police force is dirty, what's the slammer going to do? Not hold them. Jason actually puts a permeant end to them.

The third point is pretty self-explanatory. The Joker.

In short, both methods have drawbacks and pros. It's pretty stupid to say that one method is da best. (Tho its Bruce because basic human rights. Unless the killing was self-defence, which in Jason's case is not the regular case. Don't come for me)

#bruce wayne #jason todd #something #not an analysis really #the bisexual one

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sullina · 1 year

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What are your thoughts in a modern au melban ?how do you think they'd meet and would they have the same dynamics? Love your stuff so wanted to ask your thought :D

I'm happy you like my stuff and thanks for the ask^^ I hope you like what I wrote^^ Enjoy :D

So modern au MelBan... I do think they would still have pretty much the same dynamic with each other, but maybe not necessarily with the people around them.

Since alcohol, in modern times, is getting let's say "less popular", I can see Meliodas being rather and sneaky and kind of hiding how much he actually drinks from his friends and maybe family, depending on how much his family is actually in the picture.

Ban doesn't drink much, but for the one sole reason that he gets drunk super fast and just physically cannot lift his glass to his mouth after a few drinks.

Meliodas, at some point after becoming an adult, has opened the Boar Hat using money he either worked for or already had from his family or he sold something valuable, point is he had enough money to open the bar. Things weren't going well at first, but he needed employees and Hawk came in and took the job, which actually saved the bar, even if Meliodas would never ever admit it, because Hawk already had experience with running a business while Meliodas had no fucking clue on what to do beyond "buy and sell alcohol". Hawks ego was big enough as it is XD and like this, Meliodas and Hawk became somewhat friends. Elizabeth and Meliodas obv aren't together in this, but they're still close friends and cherish each other. Elizabeth also met Hawk over Meliodas and immediately fell in love with him. Not romantically, she just thinks he's super adorable and those two actually get along really well. Elizabeth occasionally also helps out at the bar when she can, since she wants her friend to succeed. (depending on whether or not this modern au still had magic and stuff, Hawk can be a pig/purgatory creature here or not, I'll leave it up to you, but I do want to say that I'm not opposed to magic in a modern au)

Enough on Meliodas though, onto Ban. Ban is a real kleptomaniac, but has miraculously never gotten a jail sentence. He did get the police called on him frequently though, because he tended to be aggressive, but only got taken in for the night, you like those cells the police put drunk people into to sober them up and let them go the next day? (a translator said it was called a "drunk tank" but I've never seen that being used, so I'm not 100% sure it's the right term ._. )

now how do they meet?

Well, Meliodas' bar was doing relatively well, but it wasn't exactly a hit either. He needed money and a lot of it. Same situation with Ban. He was flat out broke and he was living with friends who were nice enough to let him stay and crash for a while (King and Elaine, I guess would be the most logical choice here), he didn't want to be an eternal burden on them. The solution? Well, there was a fight festival coming up, and the prize money was nothing to sneeze at.

Ban being Ban was no stranger to fighting, so he had quite a lot of experience just out of necessity, giving him a pretty good chance at winning, if not first place, he could still get second or third, both of which also came with some prize money and as far as Ban was concerned, anything was better than nothing.

Meliodas on the other hand didn't seem like the fighting kind of guy, right? True. It's actually a very closely kept secret of his, but he really really like pretty much any kind of fighting sport. In his family, he was more or less forced to learn some kind of martial art bc "status" and stuff. That's one thing he didn't mind though, since he actually kind of enjoyed it, even if it was a little tedious at times. He was told that they (him and his brother(s) (depending on if Estarossa is included here or not)) had to take it up for exercise, but Meliodas suspected that their father wasn't 100% clean and wanted them to be able to defend themselves against potential kidnappers and didn't trust security guys that could be bought. Even after he left, Meliodas still kept up his training in secret, but also got into less "reputable" (?) fighting sports like, idk, wrestling I guess? And this lead to his sort of mixing a few kinds of fighting into his own style. This was definitely an advantage when someone wanted to start shit in the Boar Hat, like when they didn't want to pay for the food or something.

So Meliodas and Ban both enter and end up fighthing each other. I'd say Meliodas takes first place while Ban takes second. Diane also entered, but I'm not sure yet what place she would take, but it's definitely higher up. Might be third place even.

Ban is accompanied by King and Elaine while Meliodas came alone, since he doesn't want his friends to know that he can fight as well as he can (not necessarily because they would judge him for it, it's just that it's his secret and he'd like it to stay that way). Diane is here on her own, but is loosely acquainted with Elaine and Elizabeth (not quite friends, but not strangers either) and she loosely knows Meliodas as well, but is shy around him, because she has a slight crush on him. Not as big and obvious as in canon, but enough for her to take an interest in him. They're not close though. Merlin comes as an independent party to watch along with Gowther and Escanor. She's here for research purposes and may want Escanor to enter to test his strength, or maybe not.

So Ban and Meliodas meet in the fight festival, but because they fight in the finale, they actually "meet" before that. The festival takes several days and during those days, the participants are granted a room to stay in. It's a very popular festival, so the organizers can afford to do that. While staying, there's a bit of a problem in the kitchen one day and the food takes longer. The hungry participants are getting impatient, which is a terrible combination and Ban is getting hungry, too. Instead of just complaining about it though, he wordlessly enters the kitchen and starts helping out, which is noticed by none other than Meliodas, who, as you know, is an absolutely terrible cook. That day, the food tastes especially good, which leads to Meliodas approaching Ban and getting the info out of him that HE'S the reason for it.

Now that already intrigues Meliodas, but only after the festival, after they fought for first place, is he 100% sure that he wants Ban to come back with him. Now what exactly happens, I can't tell you, but they bond while fighting bc they're just Like That. And even though he lost, Ban had so much fun that he immediately tells Meliodas that they should go again, because no matter how much Ban tries to bury it with alcohol and a shitty attitude, he's still a good person and a bit of a child (in a good way) at heart. King sees it too, which is one of the reasons why he's so patient with him, even if Ban frustrates him to no end. Meliodas agrees to fight with Ban again, but only if he comes with him (to work as his cook in the bar). Ban is more than happy to take the job, because cooking is one of the things he's actually good at and enjoys. And Meliodas can even offer him a room right above the bar if he needs a place to stay! (it's one of those 'work on the ground floor and house/home above, all under one roof, like in canon).

Ban, who is not only in need of a job, but also wants to stay with this new friend he made, takes the offer. Of course he can't exactly Just Go with Meliodas from the fight festival, he's with King and Elaine there and he still has all his stuff at their place. So they get to talking and find that they actually live relatively close, maybe in the next town over or so! He doesn't take the room right away though.

('m basing this on germany, where the next town over is like 10 minutes by car btw)

Ban gets used to the work fast. His food is an absolute hit, leading to a fast increase in customers, which means more profits. Before all that though, Ban messes up a few times. Due to past experiences, he believes Meliodas might fire him, but he doesn't. He's actually very patient with him and even cares for him when he gets blackout drunk and doesn't judge him for it. It's this pure kindness and patience that makes Ban like Meliodas and develop a slight crush on him.

As for Meliodas, well the two still fight on the regular, just for fun. After one of these sparring sessions, Ban asks how Meliodas got into fighting, because he doesn't really seem like the fighting type. Meliodas is reluctant to tell the truth about his upbringing. Before he actually gets to it though, Ban, being able to tell that he's uncomfortable, stops him and tells him that it doesn't matter. Whatever his past was like, they're friends now.

Oooh, I just thought of a great reason why Meliodas keeps his fighting thing a secret, because when he just left home or even before that, people would think it was kinda creepy or weird, which kept Meliodas from making friends. He didn't mind in the fight festival, because he figured no one knew him there plus he was only there for the money anyway. Becoming friends with Ban was a lucky coincidence.

So Ban and Meliodas become closer and closer and Ban moves into the room that Meliodas keeps offering him. So they spend practically 24/7 around each other now, and they don't really think much of it (just bros being bros). Hawk doesn't live with them, since he lives very close by, like in the next building over or so. Close enough that he can be there in less than 5 minutes by foot.

While living together, Meliodas' mood improves A LOT. He's hadn't realized it, but he's actually been pretty lonely living all by himself and with Ban it's a lot less lonely and he doesn't feel like he has to hide anything from him. Meliodas also learned that Ban is an unexpectedly grabby person when drunk and will latch onto the nearest person and fall asleep. Most nights, this is Meliodas. The first time this happened, Meliodas was a bit uncomfortable, because it was unfamiliar, and tried to bring Ban to bed and to let go. It didn't work. So Meliodas had to sleep in the same bed as him for the night. Thing is, Ban also tends to mumble in his drunken sleep, and confessed to Meliodas that he has a crush on him! It was hard for Meliodas to fall asleep after that... and Ban woke up the next morning with no memory of what happened.

Meliodas is a bit of a blushy mess for a few days afterwards, because on the one hand, he kinda likes Ban back, but on the other, what if it was just drunken babbling and Ban doesn't actually like him like that? If that's the case, then coming onto Ban could ruin their friendship and that's the last thing Meliodas wants to happen.

Eventually though, with enough encouragement from their friends, Ban and Meliodas do end up confessing to each other. Without alcohol this time. Or their friends set them up, like setting up a romantic dinner to finally officially get them together.

#sullina nnt #nnt #nnt melban #melban #nnt meliodas #ban #nnt ban #nantsu no taizai #sds #seven deadly sins

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nerice · 6 months

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Oddly specific q but what is the situation with belle & the tracker in her? Does Faye install it to be able to track her down? Did Jumie install it (into every child) so Belle never gets lost? Can Faye control Belle with it?

Red Hurting Sun & Dream Game sound like such painful but also intense(good) chapters! And Faye seems like the most complex and evil character while also being hurt and having her reasons if that makes sense????? Anyway ily your shadowblogging bye <3

GOOD EVENING ANON DEAREST I CAN FINALLY ANSWER THIS !!!!!!! PRAY THAT MY WRIST HOLDS OUT

uh so. the tracker is important. the tracker is like /the most important/ as far as central plot mechanics are concerned and the last time i did a comprehensive writeup on it this happened.....

(with the other writing linked in that document full length is closer to 35k. rip) SO THIS ANSWER WILL BE ABRIDGED for all our sakes.

the tracker is what pulls every single book together, even if it features in some more prominently (nerice, dream game) than the others. by the time it concerns belle, it has long ceased its original function. the first time it turns up is back on nerice, where eliada helps the warlords build a tracker for reina bc he himself is also sulking that she keeps refusing 2 talk to him. bitch behavior <3 tldr is that the swords of a tracker (the person, that eliada is) are the only thing able to pierce a true ruler's skin (a/s mechanics, dw abt it) and so thru him they're able to engenieer a mechanical dragonfly that upon contact, burrows under the skin of reina's wrist (if you ever wondered where her scar comes from... :^)) this is also what, ultimately, causes her to split her soul in an attempt to get rid of it, which causes the moons to break and kickstarts the entire fucking verse saga. with the end of her world, the tracker becomes inert but reina keeps it for unwise sentimentality reasons (hands u meme abt it) w

in old plot, eliada petitioned to get his hands on it during one of their roa deals (bonus points bc jumie wld be around for that trade, even if eliada n reina only euphemistically talk abt it as 'the dragonfly' and she'd only see a small box change hands) but lately i've been more inclined to move that event into lhnh where reina, from her end, volunteers the tracker to make eliada talk abt the soulless (gray) bc it makes slightly more sense thematically for her to refuse all his trades until then. either way, the tracker is back in eliada's hands by the end of the azra war era.

bc the tracker was not simply tracking reina. eliada's entire quest is abt understanding the precise workings of true rulers, so, given the opportunity, he made the tracker also collect,, not quite her blood? smth more vague and metaphysical, refined through an inner process into something more, something more essential. [true ruler essence] for the sake of meta terminology. he cannot actually do anything with it in his current position but plans on analyzing it and comparing it to true rulers of a/s once he returns home. which is the entire problem bc he is stuck as long as the verse is broken [PLAYED URSELF. <3] which brings us to. him & faye thinking long and hard forever abt how to fix the moons so they can both go home. yippee

which is ofc how we get to belle. how we get to the entire daughter con situation (skipping over many messy timelines that preceded arriving at this final, working solution) which, in tldr terms, is this:

a vessel whose soul is the tracker. whose very existence is linked the essence of reina before the split, before the fall, an essence from before the moon core broke. an artificial child, created for the sole purpose of burning this essence back into the moon core and thereby repair it. so you have belle, who thinks herself a descendant, but really is just a dead dragonfly with true ruler dna walking. faye connects her to the moon core by forcing her to swallow the eternal souls (chess's eyes that gray so generously removed once upon a time. <3 wld say the only good deed he has ever done but this shit was part of what broke the entire machine in the first place, it just happens to conveniently hand faye a way to also put it back together) and really all that is left to do then is set belle on fire via angel theory & fuse her existence into the moon core. make her the conduit through which the entire machinery can begin to work as intended again. just that 7000/10 times belle breaks under the strain, the weight of the universe, leaving faye to do it all over again bc the theory is solid. it's the daughter that's wrong :^)

#LOVE. the thruline of soulless going 'hm. not what i was expecting' @ their daughters and causing them unbearable suffering over it. lol #there's an extremely cute motd moment (at the other side of this entire venture) when faye is on her mad little rampage bc chess refuses #to hold his end of their bargain. where she threatens to rip the tracker out of belle's chest and plunge everything back into chaos #alas she cannot do it. she worked entirely too long for this (& still doesn't know why it finally succeded lol. idiot <3)#she can't bring herself 2 toss it all down the fucking drain. but she will still menace belle abt it as if the entire thing is her fault h.#belle is never the same as a true ruler but her weird [moon bandaid walking] status post-angel ascension makes some fun things happen #mostly putting things into circles around her when she isn't looking and it's extremely annoying to her lol <33 #we love freak children and their even freakier apotheoses >:3 #ANYWAY AS U CAN TELL I CAN TALK FOREVER ABT THIS. HOPE IT WAS COHERENT ENOUGH #askbox #anonbox #oc asks #i love YOU and you are my FAVOURITE PERSON anon <33333333333333

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taiturner · 2 years

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Immediately starting it off with a difficult one, top five Luther moments :)

I knew I’d immediately be hit with this and it was going to hurt me so (deep breaths) okay, luckily I just recently went on a marathon of giffing all my favorite moments in seasons 1-2, so links included :) — I WILL be thinking about this for the next week cursing myself for forgetting some of my favorite moments, but I’m going with my gut and what stuck out to me immediately when I read this. (Also this would be a lot different if I was solely talking about his funny/lighthearted moments because there are so many but I’m going for the emotional ones here / the ones that really made me connect with him as a character).

Putting this under a read more because I cannot shut up about my little (big) guy. I also simply cannot order these top 5 either, so <3

2x06: “Look at what you did to me.” Oof. I know people probably think he was ridiculous for this, but I can’t think of a moment (besides some of the confrontations he has with Reginald in late season 3) that makes me more proud of Luther. Because we see him work through this in season 1 - he brushes off the body alteration with “Dad saved my life,” like he can’t think of it any other way, but we gradually start to see him change his mind about that and realize that it’s actually okay for him to resent his father for what he did to him, because he did not ask for it. He is not in debt for that. And like Allison says afterwards - it’s the first time she’s ever heard him stand up to Dad, and he smiles so big because even though it didn’t do much to Reginald other than make him look back at Luther with disdain, it’s such a weight off Luther’s shoulders and I think that’s a feeling he always remembers. He takes the confidence in that moment and he holds onto it and he does not let Reginald look down on him again. Also, the quote from Tom Hopper in the gifset I linked is so special to me.

2x05: His whole talk with Diego after their first family reunion. There are so many good quotes in this but my favorites are, “Dad told you you’re a hero, he told all of us, but what if he lied? What if we’re just a bunch of freaks who have no business changing the world for everyone else?” + my personal favorite Luther quote, when Diego asks him “Since when are you a quitter?” and Luther responds, “Since the last time I destroyed the world by overestimating my own importance.” There are people who still despise Luther for what he did to Viktor in season 1, as if he’s never self reflected on it - but this line is SO telling. He didn’t blame Viktor for destroying the world, he blamed himself. He blamed what he did to Viktor, no one else. And we know that it’s not on him - but I think it’s really important that he’s not only taking accountability for his part in it, but he also has tried to change his approach to everything. He’s not trying to be the leader anymore just because he’s supposed to be, he’s not trying to force the answers or solutions just because he feels like he has to. He’s taken a step back and realized that when he’s not the leader, they’re all better off. I also just think that any moment of self reflection between him and Diego is really special, because Reginald pit them against each other for a reason - but they found a way through to each other and they’re so much better off working together.

2x02: Luther’s apology to Viktor. I love his apology to Viktor because he has absolutely no idea what he’s getting into - Viktor almost killed him and the rest of his siblings the last time he saw them, he had no idea what was going on for Viktor now and if he still had that anger, but he also knew that anger would be valid. And - the last time he saw him, he was holding him in his arms and then suddenly, poof, they were dispersed through time. He’s going through so many emotions when he sees Viktor again - confusion, sadness, relief, but mostly guilt. Like I said in my answer about Diego - it does not matter that Viktor ended the world, he knows he played a part in it and he’s owning up to that. “I thought it was my job to keep everyone safe, and I just made it all worse - I never wanted to be the bad guy” - he did what he did because he thought he was protecting his family, but he wasn’t protecting everyone, and he can’t forgive himself for that - which makes his interactions with Viktor in season 2 + season 3 so special, because he is actively trying to hear him, support him, advocate for him. He let him down and he never forgot that. But I think what really gets me about this interaction is the way he tells Viktor that if he’s bullshitting him about not knowing who he is, he doesn’t care, because if he’s hiding out then he understands. It’s just really validating to Viktor imo that Luther understands that the family did not treat him right, and if he wants to pretend they don’t exist, that’s fair. He is extending a careful hand - Viktor is in control, Luther is not going to force him to be in the family if that’s not what Viktor wants, even if it’s what Luther wants because he wants to make it up to him. This whole conversation is just so good and I was on the edge of my seat watching it for the first time. Again, it says so much about Luther’s development, given so much of season 1 was him deciding things because he thought he had to and ultimately making the wrong choices/hurting someone in the process. Admitting he was the bad guy was a huge turn for him. Also, bringing 2x03: Adding Viktor asking Luther what ended the world into this one because my thoughts bleed into it - he was so soft in his explanation and there’s something really special about he and Five’s different approaches to this. They were both being soft with Viktor, they were both trying to protect him. For Luther, he saw what Viktor needed in that moment, and he also needed to own up to the fact that it was not just on Viktor again. I’m forever upset that Ruby interrupted them.

1x07: “I want to be Number Four.” The Klaus/Luther dynamic is really special to me and it probably really started in this scene. Obviously Luther had been a bit hostile with Klaus and brushed him off for a lot of things - but it wasn’t out of malice or hatred or anything. He and Klaus are just so different in their personalities that he just never really understood him. I feel like, especially as teenagers, they couldn’t be more different - Klaus going out, meeting people, going to parties, etc., vs. Luther not fully understanding at the time why that even mattered - compared to present day when that’s what he wants, to have friends and to meet people outside of his siblings and have a life like Klaus did. Back to my point - he may not have always treated Klaus kindly, but there’s a certain level of respect he has for him that really isn’t revealed until here. He wasn’t resentful of Klaus having that life outside of the Academy - he was jealous of it. He thinks of Klaus as someone carefree who can just live his life without anything weighing him down (of course that’s not true for Klaus, but there’s validation in Luther no longer acting like that’s Klaus’s downfall). Also just this whole sequence means so much to me - from Klaus immediately getting serious once he realized why Luther wants to be like him, to Luther being completely vulnerable with Klaus yet saying he doesn’t want the rest of their siblings to see him like that, to Klaus immediately validating his pain and agreeing with him, to Klaus taking the first opportunity he gets to call Reginald out for hurting him. Everything, all of it, I love them. Also I’m sneaking this moment from 2x10 into this answer and you can’t stop me - but at the end, when they’re about to head back to 2019, Klaus stops because he wants to grab the cowboy hat. Luther looks at him so confused yet so fascinated too. Klaus just fascinates him. He doesn’t understand why he does the things he does but he loves him exactly the way he is and wouldn’t ever want him to change.

2x03: Luther is on a run and sees kids cheering him on, yelling “King Kong” excitedly. This moment is just so important to me because ‘King Kong’ is clearly not an alias that he chose or was comfortable with; it’s so derogatory and exploitive (as is anything of the nature, monkey-man, ape-man, etc.) But especially with why it’s used - it was used to exploit him and his body / the body alteration that he did not ask for or consent to having. And Luther’s dynamic with Jack is not the same as it was with Reginald, yet he clung to him in a similar way - and yet again, Luther was being used as someone’s weapon, something to exploit. But there’s this moment with the kids cheering him on that suddenly makes that alias feel okay, because it’s almost like he’s the superhero that everyone loved again. They’re just kids, and they’re looking at him like he’s a hero, and in a very brief moment in time, that’s really comforting to him, even if the alias is still not okay. It’s such a small moment but it just means so much to me that he got one small moment of peace with it. I think about this so often.

I also need to add Luther/Five/Five in 2x08-09 + Klaus and Luther in the Void in 3x10, just in general. I can’t list favorite moment from these scenes because they’re all so fun for me and the biggest serotonin boosts of TUA. Five and Klaus are probably my two favorite Luther dynamics - there’s so much resonation between him and Five and their similar (yet still wildly different) experiences, and so much respect between him and Klaus for their very different experiences. Also, I still quote “He’s just a little guy” every single day.

Mind if I cheat... honorable mentions because I can’t help myself. 1x03 describing what the moon was like to Allison, how he’s able to put it so eloquently despite the fact that those years were horribly dark and destructive for him (this probably belongs in my top 5 but I am stressed). 1x04 in the flashback when he tells Reginald he is the only one left, because it’s the first hint we get from Reginald that it was clear he was starting to worry that Luther might leave. 2x10 to Lila “Love shouldn’t have to hurt this much,” validating not only her but really recognizing his own experience. 1x05 his conversations with Five at Diego’s + in the car + shielding him from the bullet. 2x10 + 2x01 when he uses his body as a shield to protect his siblings. 3x03 when he compliments Viktor’s hair and is insistent on wanting to welcome him in as brothers. 3x10 after the universe reset and he notices his body and calls it “my body” because it’s finally his again and not what Reginald turned him into. 3x09 in the moon sequence when we learn that his depression started not even a year into being on the moon which brings so much of his arc in season 1 even more into perspective + also the moment he touches the photo of his siblings (And I stand firmly by the fact that he brought Viktor’s book with him so he had a piece of him too). 3x08 asking Viktor to be his best man, kissing Klaus on the forehead, “Tonight is all I ever wanted, just everyone coming together when it really matters, one big, real family.” 2x07(?) telling Allison their best quality as a family is hope because it just shifts the tone of the series for me and I love it. 2x06 when he calls Diego out for not using the conch because it was Viktor’s suggestion and he wants to make sure Viktor was heard. 2x01 with Five saying he doesn’t give a shit about saving the world because it’s major character development and aligns well with the quote I mentioned on my previous answer about overestimating his own importance. 1x09 when Allison’s injured and he talks about his own experience in waking up in a place he does not recognize not feeling like himself. 3x09 getting to vote ‘no’ because it meant Reginald couldn’t use him as the weapon he trained him to be anymore (+ continued on in their conversation before Reginald kills him). 1x06/07 when he finds his dad’s unopened reports. 3x02 when he tells Sloane that his family fell apart after Ben died and even he stopped caring. 1x01 when he runs away from the fight with Diego, not because he’s hurt, but because he’s afraid of his body being exposed. 3x10 when he gets to be the hero because he rarely does so it was such a satisfying moment for him + he gets to tell off Reginald again. If I don’t stop here I will list 96% of his scenes, and I’ve already cheated plenty.

Okay TLDR: He means so much to me. Thank you for torturing me with this question.

#luther #jameszmaguire #number5theboy #answered #tua spoilers #the question: 5. me: that's just a number it can't control me #this is so many s2 moments but there was just so much payoff for his s1 arc #luther hargreeves

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