Ok I know it's a little bit late but turns out my big Okoye rant just has to be written down or it will keep bothering me. So here we go. Screaming into the void.

The thing is I like Okoye and I think she had nice thing going on in Wakanda Forever. That is up until the point that her plot threads were axed midway and rest of it was given to Nakia of all people? Which sucks for both of them. So in this essay....

The first Black Panther movie build her up nicely as Lawful Neutral character. Which is rare and for me makes really interesting character. She dutifully followed the law when Killmonger took the throne and then just as dutifully was about to kill her husband when it was revealed the throne taking wasn't so lawful after all. Both of those choices were incredibly emotionally hard for her and actually quite rare storytelling wise. Which I loved. What is even better: on top of all that she wasn't punished by the narrative for being lawful instead of going after her heart.

Great! I really, really loved it. Especially when in the new movie they started to nicely build up on that to give her own little plot and character growth.

Well. Up to a point.

But lets focus on what they were clearly building up to.

Okoye loves Wakanda. It's her character virtue since she is Lawful Neutral. But at the same time loving it too much and too blindly is her character flaw.

Wakanda is the best and thus doesn't need to change.

First we saw it in Infinity War with a little side joke about opening Wakanda to the world meant maybe Starbucks and not, well... war.

In Wakanda Forever in one of the first scenes she tells Aneka to give back the daggers since spears are traditional weapon. Which, by virtue of being traditional, are better and it's not going to change on her watch.

For that, the obvious plot resolution would be that Okoye needs to open up to new things (particularly technology). Unfortunately, the thing is, they sort of did that in the movie but in the worst way possible (and I don't just mean that Midnight Angel armor is ugly, you are right sister. It's ugly af) but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Wakanda is the best and thus I'm the best.

Okoye is a bit full of herself, or to be more precise thinks others are not as good since they are not Wakandan. She assumes she can deal with Americans and duh, she is right. She can actually deal with them like nbd. So does it really count as being blinded by her own/ Wakandan awesomeness?

Yes. Yes it does. I love that she is confident in her skills and she has all the right to be but she also knew there is new unknown threat. It was overconfidence on her part to think she can deal with Talokans too.

And she got her ass handled to her in fair fight.

And she broke her promise to queen Ramonda and lost Shuri.

Consequences as plot resolution? It's more likely than you think.

Because yeah. That's where clearly her further plot was axed and given to Nakia (which could be whole other big rant but just so you know: she was done dirty here too). Because let's be real it would fit perfectly.

Classic plot. Hero gets overconfident. Fucks up. As consequence hero loses their privileges/status/whatever. So they go on a quest not to regain their privileges or prove themselves but to right their wrongs.

Often they initially want to prove themselves, but then they learn they need to fix their mistakes because it's a right thing to do. Just after that the narrative can reward them with actually-you-just-have-proven-yourself-plot-twist - here are your privileges back and then some.

In Okoye's sake we can even cut on the second part of that plot. She just goes on a quest to right her wrongs and to save the princess.

Rewrite of a rewritten plot?

So her first overall wrong was dismissal of new technology. Could be righted easily by going to Griot to ask it to help her locate Shuri. It's even still in the movie but instead it's Ramonda who talks with Griot. It shows Griot can locate Shuri, they just added little scene with Nakia doing spy stuff and talking to people because it's her forte.

It would even fit the underwater cave rescue scene better. Because the forceful solution of going in guns blazing would fit more Okoye's desperation. Nakia is a spy. She would be more level headed and just sneak in and out unnoticed. Moreover, since she is more caring people person she wouldn't just leave that one girl to die.

But hey. If they didn't do that they wouldn't have the excuse for war and to have whole second part of the movie and "big" action scene at the end. Which is sadly mandatory in Marvel movies.

But going back to Okoye before I get sidetracked too much.

Just a rewrite... please.

With that the last plot thread for her to resolve would be redo of the fight with Attuma.

And it could and SHOULD follow the classic plot of like Rocky and countless others:

Hero loses a fight

Hero trains some more/ learns new things

Hero wins second fight fair and square

but nooooooo

Instead of mixing it with with opening to new technologies plot - as in asking Griot to help her find weak spots of Talokans. Or even just upgrading her spear to be better in fight with another vibranium spear if you really need to go this way (and clearly don't have time for training montage in this bloated movie)...

nope. Instead we go sorry Okoye you are just too weak. Here, have an armor. Which ok ties to the same new technologies plot thread but at the same time is so damn insulting to Okoye and her skills.

Like really fucking insulting.

It's like going to Cap or Black Widow and saying you are cool with all the fancy kicks and all but lets be real here. You are to week to fight real super powered villains - here have an armor.

Would anyone do that? No. Because it's insulting and goes against what those characters are at their core. Even if they are "too weak" they still would win by their skill, their smarts, their cunning nature or just by their sheer stubbornness.

Because those are their cove virtues.

Because that's how storytelling works.

And just FYI I'm not shitting on characters actually using armors. Oh no. Tony or Riri would win by learning and then building smarter armor. Rhodey would win because he is a solider and for him the armor is just tool of the trade - it's just a tank he happens to wear. But for Okoye or Cap or Natasha or any other hand to hand badass fighter it would go against the very idea their character was built on. It would be plot breaking Deus Ex Machina solution. Everyone would be bitching that writers written themselves into a corner and found very unsatisfying plot resolution that doesn't work.

But since Okoye is a side character and this movie has way too much going on in general, it's just left as it is.

And I'm very salty about that.

Hamefura Movie SS Translation

I have translated Satoru Yamaguchi's SS Story related to the Hamefura Movie Novel:

Series: My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! Story Title: I Want To See The Merchant Caravan's Show Again. Source: Satoru Yamaguchi's Blog Credits: maboroshi-no

Translation below ⮟

I Want To See The Merchant Caravan's Show Again.

(Movie. This is a story during the time after the Sacred Beast incident, while Aaqil and the others are still in Sorcier for the cleanup.)

Katarina: Now, please enjoy these.

I, Katarina Claes, said this to my usual friends and younger brother gathered here, inviting them to the sweets and tea.

Sophia: Wow, are these Mutlaq sweets?

Sophia asked this with sparkling eyes.

Katarina: Yes. Yesterday, I went to check on the merchant caravan just for a bit and then bought a lot.

A little while had passed since the arrival of a merchant caravan from a country called Mutlaq and the big incident in Sorcier.

I was worried about the caravan people who were swamped with the repairs, so I went to check on them just a little.

Doing so, I bought a lot of the sweets on sale at that time.

They had told me, "You don't need to pay, so just take them with you", but since they would probably need to cover expenses in the future, I properly paid for my purchases.

I had bought a lot because I wanted the caravan to hang on, but the quantity ended up being too much for me to eat it all by myself. I felt like consuming them during a tea party, so I contacted everyone.

It was a one-day notice so I thought it might be impossible, but I was happy to see that everyone had gathered.

Geordo: Katarina, did you go to the merchant caravan alone?

Geordo had asked this with a somewhat dark smile.

Keith: She left right after coming up with this idea, so she was already gone before I knew it. It seems like she even had dinner there with them.

After Keith had said this with a troubled face, Geordo, sighed.

Katarina: Ah! I told them they didn't need to since it was a difficult time, but they insisted. I didn't cause them so much trouble by eating over and staying for long.

As I thought they might think I was a rude person who would impose on people in difficult times, I hurriedly denied it. But…

Keith: Big Sister, that's not it.

Geordo: Yes, that is not the problem. You going there alone is.

The two said this and shook their heads. If the problem was me going there alone, then…

Katarina: Could it be that you also wanted to go the caravan?

I asked them since I thought it might be the case, but the two shook their heads again.

Eh~ Then what did they mean? And then,

Sophia: I have been wanting to go there again.

Sophia had said this with sparkling eyes, with such spirit that she had exhaled air out of her nose. Maria spoke next.

Maria: Me as well. I'd like to ask more about Mutlaq's sweets and dishes to the caravan people.

The time before, Maria had been enthusiastically asking about various things.

And Sophia's otaku blood had completely awakened with that show.

But I had also been completely mesmerized by that show. Mary seemed to have thought the same thing as me since…

Mary: It was such a lovely place after all. If I could, I would also love to return there.

She said this, smiling with a hand on her cheek. After hearing our talk,

Alan: I'd like to go too. There's an animal show, right?

Like a kid, Alan had said this with an excited face.

Come to think of it, aside from the girls, the others didn't see that magnificent show.

Katarina: Yes. The animals' show was amazing. But the singing and the dancing were also fantastic.

I gestured with my hands to convey the magnificence of the show to the boys, who hadn't seen it.

The other girls also added to what I had said and talked about what they had found lovely and what had fascinated them.

When they finished talking, Nicol was the first to speak.

Nicol: I'd very much love to see it.

On his usual expressionless face, his eyes were sparkling.

Keith: I agree. After hearing about it like this again, it has greatly piqued my interest.

Keith too had said this while showing deep interest.

Alan: Right? At this rate, we'll never see it. You wanna see it too, right?

Alan also agreed with the other two and started repeatedly yelling "I wanna see it! I wanna see it!"

All while giving an awkward smile because of his brother, Geordo suggested this.

Geordo: They still have the repairs to deal with so it might not happen right away, but once things have settled down, shall we ask them through a request from Sorcier to perform their show on stage one more time?

Katarina: Can we do this?

Because I had been wanting to see that show one more time, I leaned forward and asked this.

Geordo: I can't say anything without confirming it with them, but if we make a request and properly remunerate them for it, I don't think they will ignore it.

Katarina: Then we may be able to see that show again! I'm so happy! Thank you very much!

When I thanked Geordo for his suggestion with a smile,

Geordo: No, this rumored magnificent show has also piqued my interest, so it is quite alright. Still, Katarina. From now on, please refrain from going alone to the caravan, okay?

Katarina: Ah, yes. Causing them trouble would be bad after all.

After I had said this, Geordo muttered something in a low voice.

Geordo: It would sure be troublesome if she seduced any more people.

Katarina: Prince Geordo, did you say something?

Geordo: No. I look forward to the show.

Katarina: Yes.

Like this, I fondly thought of the magnificent show that I might be able to see once again.

kind of random but aah!!

I'm curious to know about what your current favorite WIP to work on is right now - and this can be through actual writing, plotting, developing, etc.! I wanna know which of your WIPs is giving you brainworms!

That’s such a great question!!!!! 

GET READY TO HEAR EVERYTHING BC I LITERALLY CANNOT PICK AND ALSO I REALLY WANT TO SHARE MORE WIPS !!!  🥺😍😍

So, my current favorite WIPs to work on right now are my original WIP The Innsmouth Bride and my fanfic WIP series with my Daybreakers oc Wendy McCoy. 

The Innsmouth Bride atm is really gaining traction in my brain because there is much of the worldbuilding that i need to do and since it involves the Cthulhu Mythos, a genre i am completely a newborn to, and also the setting of 1800s Victorian England I’ve got my research cut out for me but i am so excited to learn more about these topics, and in return, the world i am building too! I am also slowly but gradually falling in love with my characters as they grow and are fleshed out bit by bit, and with the history they keep in their families i am enthralled with how their dynamics are shaping out to be and what that means for my lovelies Emmett and Nerida as i try to balance the story as well as character arc. I also wanted to try out a story akin to beauty and the beast but with reversed gender roles because i don’t think we get those too often or maybe i just haven’t looked enough but darn it i wanted to see some cute/scary/badass/kind creature ladies and if i must i’ll try to do it myself. 😅

With my fanfic WIP, working series title: Nights In White Satin, this is very much a teensy bit a love letter to the film for me because it was the first film that really started my love for films that explore the human condition. There was something intriguing and almost real about the film that made it like something that could happen and i loved that so much. The world building is fantastic. And it had a great cast too! All the actors and characters in the movie i had loved before i really started paying attention to them and started simping. xD but with my oc Wendy, i really wanted to explore what could happen after the events of the film and possibly add real world problems and solutions and that’s where her and Elvis’s story goes through as they try to survive and fight for a future where humans don’t need to be hunted or hidden. 

So, out of all of my original WIPs The Innsmouth Bride comes in first when i think about working on them because i really have been putting in all the thoughts and brainworms into that one as mentioned above! :D

My other OG WIPs includes:

The Spring Man (working title): A story about the personification of Spring in a man living in a small village who must be buried into the ground before winter and the seasonal family he raises there. 

Untitled Seaside Creature Feature:  A sea creature turns human to explore the world above. Still in development but this wip holds a special place in my brain.  

The Moor/Teardrop (w. t.): A story about a small-town priest that went missing for five years and was found when he was a teenager and the girl he raises as a daughter after her mother had the same experience.

 The Stolen Child: A story that involves a mysterious creature that abducts children, a reserved man living with a haunted past, and the mother of a recently taken child that reaches out to him for help. 

The Undertaker’s Wife: & Other Short Stories: A potential short stories series if any of these ideas don’t pan out fully. 

Short Stories include:

The Undertaker’s Wife: A cautionary story in which a young man working at a funeral home, wishes back to life a woman he had hoped to be with, when she turns up on his silver table after a tragic accident. 

Young Turks: A typical 60s biker love story but with the girl as the biker. 

The Fox’s Huntress Bride: A story inspired by the aesthetics of the film The Green Knight. A prince goes missing, a huntress with nothing left to lose save for an animal companion, an old wives tale taboo, and a kingdom on the brink of war are all players in what i hope is to be a medieval fairytale. 

Cell: A thriller/mystery where a woman is kidnapped and held in the basement of a man who claims that her imprisonment isn’t for her own safety but the safety of others from her instead. 

 The Boxer: Based on a dream i had about a quiet young man coming to work as a boxer in an old gym for the owner to gain cash in return for housing. He meets a young woman who works there and they develop a relationship. 

Grandfather Jack: Currently an idea still being worked on. The story centers around a woman about to have her first child and her thinking about her father who went missing as she receives daily visits from a wild jackrabbit in her garden. 

No-Face: An idea for a story where a man without a face finds an abandoned child one night and raises her as his own all the while trying to solve a case and keep his true identity a secret.  

A Touch of Death: A horror/thriller/mystery about a detective woman with a troubling past and a serial killer that keeps trying to prove to her that he cannot be killed.

The Body (w.t.): A sci fi story about a nurse living with her android assistant in a rundown hospital on a ruined Earth. They receive unexpected cargo containing a cloned body of an elite social lite whose father had him made after a deadly accident and wishes to keep his son’s death a secret, as cloning is illegal throughout the galaxy only if used to prolong life.

An Untitled Sci Fi Story about a malfunction on a colony ship headed towards an earth like planet. A young passenger is awoken and with only an android for company; must figure out how to survive aboard. 

And finally, an Untitled Midnight Mass inspired Vampire WIP: A woman visiting from out of country falls prey to a dangerous creature and miraculously survives, but soon finds out that this creature won’t let her go so easily.  

It’s a lot of ideas but i’m really hopeful about some of them making it! Almost all of these i have already written out a bit in my google docs and every once in a while, i’ll revisit them and add more if i’m not daydreaming about it for too long. I hope this was entertaining and thank you for asking! 🥰 

This is probably controversial. But I find the vitriol against Amber Heard really disturbing. I have no great love for her but seeing so much misogyny and a lot of it is coming from women who feel like they are "protecting" Johnny Depp is really troubling.

I used to watch Depp on 21 Jump Street reruns. I am old. I have soft feelings for him. I want him to get better.

But when I read some of the court documents, they were both doing so many drugs it really triggered me as someone who has lost family members to substance abuse. I couldn't watch the whole trial like a lot of people did.

They both hit each other and were emotionally abusive, but Depp got more flack because he's the older one, the richer one, the more famous one, and the man. He has the majority of the power in that relationship. Abuse is more about power than anything.

As for him losing the Fantastic Beasts franchise? Maybe that's for the best. It sucked. JKR sucks.

So I feel like we should all move on. Go to therapy and rehab or whatever. I think these two people should just go their own ways and be grateful they are both not dead.

But now apparently the test screenings for Aquaman 2 are going poorly. And everyone is saying it MUST be because Amber Heard can't act.

But, like, she had the same acting level of ability (middling, I'd say, not especially gifted but not bad to look at) in the first movie and I liked that one. So why is it a problem now except that now you don't like her?

I also have a hard time believing that it's all her fault if the movie is bad. She's not a producer, writer or decision-maker on the film.

Maybe I will delete this. Some of the stans can get super aggro, but I don't wish bad things one either of these people and I am concerned about how it has turned into something people will shout you down over.

Ezra Miller represents a $200 million problem for Warner Bros. That's the budget for Flash, starring Miller as a spandex-clad superhero. Scheduled to be released next summer, it is DC Comics' big bet against the Marvel movies produced by Disney that have the world dominated, such as the series of avengers Y spider-man. There's just one problem: Her lead star has been involved in a series of controversies, from hosting a woman and her children on a Vermont farm where apparently there were guns everywhereto two recent arrests in Hawaii. The first, on March 27, occurred in a seedy bar when police say Miller ripped the microphone off a woman singing karaoke. Police became involved when an enraged Miller yelled obscenities and allegedly lunged at a man playing darts. The second incident came a month later, when Miller was asked to leave a meeting and the actor threw a chair, punched a woman and left a half-inch gash on her forehead, police said. Later that night, a couple filed a restraining order against him after Miller allegedly broke into his room and threatened to "bury" them. In just three weeks, Miller was the subject of 10 police calls in the sleepy town of Hilo, Hawaii. Not long ago, Miller was the favorite of independent cinema thanks to his roles in after school Y We Need to Talk About Kevinbefore achieving stardom in the franchise Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, written by JK Rowling, and in the DC universe. She has also positioned herself as an advocate for the LGBT+ community, declaring herself queer in 2012 and non-binary in 2018, when she stated: “It didn't identify me as a man, it didn't identify me as a woman. I barely identify as a human being.” Flash was poised to make Miller the first queer actor to star in a superhero movie, but now all of that is in jeopardy. According to dead line, Warner Bros. has tried to "get help" for Miller, but at this point it seems unlikely he'll stick around for future projects. After all, this is the same studio that fired Johnny Depp after his failed UK lawsuit against The Sun. Ezra Miller was born into a wealthy family in New Jersey in 1992; his father was a successful publisher and his mother was a dancer. To overcome his childhood stutter, Miller began singing opera, debuting at the New York premiere of White Raven by Philip Glass at Lincoln Center in 2001. However, Miller was also the target of homophobic bullying in high school. "I was trying to kiss the boys at school," Miller told Out in 2012. “I went from having a stutter to being a totally gay little opera singer to being a really confused queer teenager.” Miller dropped out of high school at 16, not because of bullying, but because of Beethoven. In interview with nyc magazine, said the composer appeared to him in a dream: “He was crying and said: 'The four symphonies I have written are not good. They just aren't enough.' And I said, 'Write five more! Keep going!'. And I woke up in a cold sweat and thought, 'I need to drop out of school. It wasn't a total leap of faith. Miller had already acted in several television shorts and in 2008 he made his first big screen appearance in Antonio Campos' dark directorial debut, after school. She was perfectly suited to her role in the creator's first film. euphoriaSam Levinson, Another Happy Day in 2011, in which Miller played Ellen Barkin's arrogant teenage son. Miller arrived late to meet Levinson when he was casting for the film, and demanded to sit outside so he could smoke. “I thought: 'What a fucking asshole! It's perfect for this movie," recalled the director. Miller found his niche as an offbeat and talkative teenager, earning rave reviews for his performance in the title role of We Need to Talk About Kevin, from 2011, based on Lionel Shriver's novel about a boy who seeks to destroy his mother. She later landed a role in the popular adaptation of The Perks of Being a Wallflower alongside Emma Watson. That's when Miller started appearing in the news for all the wrong reasons.

while filming The Perks...the actor was arrested by the police after being pulled over for a broken taillight, where he was found, in Miller's own words, under a "quilt" of grass. Ezra Miller in Fantastic Beasts (Warner Bros) General fame came in 2016 when Miller landed the roles of Credence in Fantastic Beasts... and The Flash in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Then strange videos began to appear. One day, Miller was doing an emotional and slightly manic rendition of Rihanna's "Work" on a hotel lobby piano, and the next, she was giving an indecipherable interview on the red carpet, dressed as Toadette from Mario Kart. At a 2017 Comic-Con, she spontaneously kissed a fan on the mouth after he asked to smell Miller's breath for alcohol. It was confusing, but not too worrisome. That was until 2020, when a video appeared on Twitter in which Miller apparently choked a woman at a bar in Reykjavik. "I thought it was just fun and games, but it wasn't," the woman, who remained anonymous, recently told Variety, after being silent for two years. No charges were ever filed against the actor. Miller never publicly commented on the incident. Then, earlier this year, Miller released a tirade on social media addressed what he called the "Beulaville chapter" of the Ku Klux Klan in North Carolina, telling them to "commit suicide." The Southern Poverty Law Center, a civil rights organization that monitors hate groups, said it was not aware of any Klan activity in the area. Then came the Hawaii incidents. Ezra Miller, Ben Affleck and Gal Gadoy in Justice League (Warner Bros) Since then, more accusations have been made against Miller, the most serious of which comes from the parents of an 18-year-old from North Dakota. Miller is accused of doing grooming and “psychologically manipulating, physically intimidating, and endangering the safety and well-being” of her son, Tokata Iron Eyes, since Iron Eyes was 12 years old. In a Interview with The Independent, his father, Chase Iron Eyes, noted, "Our life was turned upside down," alleging that Miller gave the teen alcohol, marijuana and LSD throughout their friendship. "When we picked up Tokata from Ezra's farm, we weren't sure that he would ever function, psychologically, mentally or intellectually, at the level he had exhibited before he fell into Ezra's clutches," he said. Since then, a courtcould not locate" to Miller to serve them with a protection order against Tokata. The actor's Instagram account has also been deactivated. The Independent has contacted the court to ask if he has been able to serve the actor. However, Iron Eyes has denied the allegations against Miller, saying, “This is my life. These are my decisions and I am disappointed in my parents and the press in every way." After that, another mother and her 12-year-old son received a temporary harassment prevention order against Miller after alleging that the actor threatened his family at his neighbor's house and acted inappropriately with the child. In a June 30 report on Variety, a German woman also alleged that Miller had harassed her after refusing to leave her Berlin apartment in February 2022. She claims that Miller was enraged after she told her she couldn't smoke in her house; the actor was convinced to leave on his own after she called the police. A week before, on June 23, the rolling stone magazine reported that Miller's farm in Vermont, where she had been housing another mother and her three children, had "guns and bullets everywhere." A source recalled an incident in which one of the boys, aged one, allegedly put a stray bullet in his mouth. A source close to Miller told Variety that the star hopes to address the allegations against him at some point, but has "chosen to focus privately on his health and healing." His next role is that of a young Salvador Dalí in the biographical film Daliland by Mary Harron. The film is currently in post-production, but who knows what will become of Miller's role if more allegations surface.

Kevin Spacey has shown that actors can be replaced and scenes can be reshot. Some DC fans have already called on the studio to replace Miller with Grant Gustin, who plays The Flash in the accompanying CW show. "Warner Bros. doesn't win on this," a studio source recently told dead line . For Miller, there could also be no turning back from such a long list of indiscretions. The Independent has contacted Ezra Miller's representatives for comment.

also, and completely unrelated to JKR’s TERF shit and the involvement or lack thereof of Johnny Depp, but Fantastic Beasts was a bad series from the start, and I say that as a person who watched the first two movies as a major fan of Harry Potter pre-TERF-outing. Newt Scamander is cute! I would be happy if the entire plot was just him going around conserving endangered magical animals!

but the plot and worldbuilding of even the first movie was poorly written, contradicted established canon, and rehashed the exact same Scooby Doo-esque reveal of the villain as in Goblet of Fire. the second movie was so outrageously bad that I genuinely cannot think of a single thing I enjoyed about it.

JKR is, and always has been, the kind of writer who writes by the seat of her pants. even when I was a fan of Harry Potter, some theories about how stuff had been “foreshadowed all along” (like Snape’s questions to Harry in his first Potions class actually meaning “I regret Lily’s death”) were clearly untrue. JKR wrote the first book thinking of Snape as a generic asshole teacher asking questions that no one was supposed to know on the first day of class, and added the rest later to justify why he wasn’t the villain in the first book. it’s why Ron, despite growing up in an all-magical family his entire life, doesn’t know what a real spell sounds like until going to Hogwarts. it’s why “Hit Wizards” are mentioned once in the first book and never again for the rest of the series. it’s why certain things like Dumbledore’s true intentions or Snape’s moral alignment were debated by the fandom for so long: people were trying to square their portrayals in canon between the first and last books. JKR’s fairly good at explaining stuff after the fact, but she needs time to get there, and she doesn’t plot it out from the start. 

Fantastic Beasts doesn’t even have that going for it. it’s seat-of-the-pants writing for a million-dollar movie franchise. that’s almost always a bad idea: the Star Wars sequels also suffered from that problem. if you have to keep going back and undoing choices from the previous movies, or mentioning things you should have covered in a previous movie, thus spending precious time explaining it through exposition instead of moving forward in the plot, that is a problem.

I have so, so much nostalgia for Harry Potter. but I didn’t grow up with Fantastic Beasts as a child, and I can’t say “well, at least the writing’s good,” and I can’t even say, “well, it’s fun story, at least.” it’s bad at all levels, top to bottom, and there’s nothing to defend it.

So this is my rant about Shallow Hal, I recently rewatched it because the song "Love Grows" is on the radio again (which also yay) and I've always loved the movie and I didn't even realise people found the movie problematic.

Ya know what I get that people find issues with things that came out years ago and some are valid but when people try to tell me I'm literally wrong for liking something, THAT I have a problem with.

Fats suits and fat jokes are a problem and the early 2000s were full of those jokes but honestly I have a much greater issue when I see them in current media than old because yeah they probably should know better now but I don't really want to talk about its problems I want to say why I love it.

The fact that Jack Black was a leading man on a romcom is fantastic, he's a very attractive man but lets not lie hes not Hollywood's version of one and I LOVE that they made a movie like that. I also like the fact that he starts off like the name says shallow, he's a dick at first and he goes through actual growth which is honestly amazing because usually when the main characters not conventionally attractive they make the character too nice and honestly boring this movie feels honest with his flaws.

Yes Gwyneth Paltrow is wearing a fatsuit and most of the movie she's just herself but this was 2001 how many movies since have actually had an overweight woman as the love interest? I mean actually overweight and not Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones? Cause I could count em on one hand.

The fact that it ended the way it did I honestly think it was ahead of it's time. This and Shrek came out the same year and both have very touching endings with Shrek loving Fiona even with her being an Ogre and in this movie he comes to love Rosemary for the person she is and appearances really don't matter to him anymore. He loves an overweight woman and neither of them change to become more attractive by societies standards , that's fricking cool as hell!!! I don't know how many other movies I know that do that even today and let me say the fact that HE IS A MAN.

Before anyone gets angry at me what I mean is just think about how many movies have a woman loving a man who starts as a monster or scarred or considered ugly by the movies world. There's hundreds, recently we had Shape of Water where as nice twist yes the man remains a fish man and she loves him anyways. But movies where the man loves a woman who's considered unattractive? Far fewer and of those movies 9 outta 10 the womans just tall, clumsy, not a size 6 or something else completely ridiculous. She's almost never scarred or a frightening creature or genuinely over weight.

Beauty and the Beast has always confused me because the Beast is bad and can't see past an outer appearance but the solution isn't to have him fall for a woman with an ugly outer appearance it's to give him one and have a woman have to fall for him despite it.... but why?? Why should a woman have to learn to love him when it should clearly be him who has to learn that, I never got it but Shallow Hal did. Shallow Hal a movie from over two decades ago did that. It had a man learn that he is cruel, obnoxious and shallow and only by growing as person and saying a big old Fuck you to society's standards could he become incredibly happy with the woman he loves. Because Hal isn't the only bad guy in the movie, the whole world is. As shown by how embarrassed his friend is when he finds out Hals with Rosemary, so self concious just because of what other people would think?!

Hal changed by the end of the movie but people haven't changed a goddamn bit and that's sad. People seem to fat shame and look down on others more than ever and yes it has problems and it's just a goofy romcom from two decades ago but I swear to God I was genuinely changed by seeing it when I was 10. I felt empathy and shame for how I'd looked at other people who were bigger than me and it was thanks to this movie and so I still love it. Peace out ✌✌

How Kipo Makes Great Villains

I stayed up all night binging the second season of Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, and I’ll admit. Going into it, my expectations were a bit low. Season One had such a self-contained objective, I didn’t know what the show was going to do with itself with a second season. But the second season of Kipo blew me out of the water. So, now I’m going to rant about why Scarlemagne and Jamack are fantastic villains for Kipo to confront, and what Kipo teaches us about writing antagonists. Obviously, spoilers ahead, but if you’re caught up, prepare to gush over great villains. If you’re not, do yourself a favor and go away, experience the second season for yourself, and then come back and fangasm over how great it was.

JAMACK

Kipo’s first antagonist is a perfect character foil. That is to say, Jamack is the exact opposite of Kipo. When Jamack meets Kipo, they are in exact opposite situations. He’s in a group while she’s alone. Later, when Kipo finds friends and is no longer alone, Jamack is kicked out of his group, forcing him to survive on his own. Jamack is very focused on self-interest and self-preservation, belittling his underlings for minor mistakes. His outlook is cold, cynical, and jaded. On top of that, Jamack grew up in this crazy world where only the strong survive. He’s also a part of the Mob Frogs, which seem to be the only mute culture with internal hierarchy. Other groups have a leader, but only the Mob Frogs seem to have levels of rank within the organization, causing the Mob Frogs to be competitive, even among themselves. So it makes perfect sense why Jamack will stoop to pretty much anything to get what he wants. Because that’s the mentality that allows for upward mobility in Las Vista. Thus, when Kipo arrives and upends the status quo and proves Jamack’s way of living wrong, he lashes out. Initially seeing it as her stealing his life from him, Jamack begins to gradually change. Jamack is on a similar and reflected hero’s journey to Kipo, and as she grows, so too will he. It’s no surprise that Jamack will eventually become a genuine ally of Kipo, even if he’s still hiding behind a Tsundere mask.

SCARLEMAGNE

My god is this a fantastic villain. In the first season, he was genuinely creepy and intimidating, but in season 2, Hugo became incredibly sympathetic. As season 2 went on, I kept debating to myself who is more of the Zuko of this show: Jamack or Hugo. Scarlemagne serves the same narrative purpose as the Diamonds in Steven Universe, about how words and kindness can work through problems. But I think it’s done a little better here, since Hugo isn’t a world-destroying dictator. He’s done some damage, but nothing that was really lasting. His pheremones can wear off. The humans he’s enslaved can regain their freedom. So, Hugo’s actual damage as a villain is much smaller and thus much more forgivable than immortal galactic conquerors. Hugo shows this deeply in that he genuinely seems like he wants to make Kipo happy, but he’s been hurt for so long that he doesn’t understand how to. And this genuine care seems to come a lot more from his core personality, and not just Kipo making friendship speeches. Even Steven didn’t really change the minds of the Diamonds. He just kind of proved he was their sister/nephew, and they suddenly cared about what he had to say. With Hugo, it’s much easier to see that he’s not a monster, just a scared and confused man lashing out to maintain control in a barbaric world. It makes him a character who you don’t want to see succeed in his evil plans, but you don’t want to watch him fail and lose everything he's worked for. You simultaneously want to hug him, and also punch him. It’s that perfect balance that makes Scarlemagne so well-written. He’s officially on my list of top 10 tv cartoon villains. Also, it’s hysterical that Hugo is voiced by the live action Beast, and the second half of this season was honestly a better Beauty and the Beast story than the live action movie. Am I the only one who hears Dr. Animo from Ben 10 when Scarlemagne speaks though?

DR. EMILIA

Talk about bait and switch. I don’t know if it was their intention, but I assumed the woman in the bird mask was Song, Kipo’s mother. It was clear that she and her goons were wearing burrow jumpsuits, and as it seemed more and more like her mother wasn’t dead, so I assumed this had to be her. This was such a great misdirection. Assuming she’s the hero because of our opinions of Scarlemagne, it’s what gives this show such amazing rewatch potential as now you can go back and pay attention to her words and actions and realize what she’s genuinely like. But even on a character level, she’s a fantastic villain. Kipo is a master of Talk no Jutsu, a fan term from the Naruto fandom, as he had a knack for talking literally anyone into becoming his friend, even the ones actively trying to kill him. Steven Universe and Kipo seem to be the other two masters of this technique. But Dr. Emilia will likely be immune to this. She doesn’t strike me as the sit and talk things out type. Because there are times when words won’t stop people, but action will. Dr. Emilia is a villain Kipo can’t reason with, someone she can’t befriend with a good speech. But even on a philosophical level, Dr. Emilia is fantastic because while she’s clearly a villain, her goal isn’t inherently evil. She sees mutation as a bad thing and wants to restore mute DNA to their normal animal forms. Which is a large part of why humans need to live in burrows. She wants humans to not live in fear, and to restore animals to their genetic origins. At least in theory, it’s a benign enough goal. The problem comes when you consider that animal mutes have sentience. they can speak and express desires. Robbing them of that is akin to purposefully mentally disabling a group in order to be dominant over them, which adds to the great themes here because there’s a loose veil of animals as an enslaved species. Kept in cages or as pets, ruled over or hunted by man who views itself as the superior race, the same sort of thinking that white slave-owners used to rationalize their prejudice. Thus it’s also a loose allegory for Dr. Emilia wanting to return emancipated slaves back to their chains. This is why she’s such a good villain. At face value, her goal sounds sort of reasonable, but when you examine what she’s really doing, it’s incredibly dark and cruel. That level of detail and writing is amazing. Talk about a well-written villain. I’m sorry, I can’t stop gushing.

Kipo demonstrates three equally compelling types of villains, and handles all of them amazingly. Jamack is the hero’s villainous foil, on his own mirrored hero’s journey as hers. His situation is always an exact opposite of hers, as was his life experiences, which led to such a stark difference of ideas. Thus, why it takes her utterly alien character traits to kick start his character arc. Hugo is a beautifully flawed and tragic villain whose goal of bringing the mutes together under a single ruler is genuinely compelling, but you still don’t want him to succeed the wrong way. Yet, if he could achieve his goal in a less hostile and evil way, I doubt fans would be upset with him achieving this goal otherwise. It’s just his approach that’s problematic. Dr. Emilia seems reasonable enough on paper, but once you unpack what she’s really doing, you can read a really deep allegory for slavery and racial superiority into her character that really complicates the otherwise black-and-white opinion of her character. Each of these villains shows ways you can make a compelling antagonist, and if you read this without watching Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeats despite my spoiler warnings, do yourself a favor and watch it. You will not be disappointed.

A big part of Credence’s character is his relationship with Graves. Can you talk about how you build that with Colin Farrell – and did you know who Graves really was?

Ezra: I did. I did know because that was always in the script. Working with Colin was an amazing experience. One thing that was really great about this production was that we had some time to rehearse, which is rare. So we had these couple days of rehearsal with just David, Colin and I in a room, going through these scenes and finding this story – a fascinating dynamic. The dynamic, even when we first started scene work, it was already so powerfully creepy and unnerving. We would get out of the room and go, “Bleh!” You know what I mean? Try to shake off all that creepiness. I’m fascinated by that dynamic.

I had a lot of fun exploring these two characters who want things from each other but are questioning whether or not they can get it. And Credence – maybe “want” isn’t a sufficient word for him because he’s really seeking all of this stuff that he desperately needs. Stuff that a lot of people need that they don’t get – love, affection and attention, and just physical contact. And Graves is, sort of, dispensing those things to keep Credence in his trap because Graves wants something from Credence. There’s a wonderful escalation of conflict, and they start to realize that they’re not gonna get what they want from each other – or at least Graves thinks he isn’t. Credence realizes that Graves is not going to be the paternal figure or the partner or the friend that he is looking for – and that’s when really things really go south.

You have an interesting relationship with your adoptive mother, but what about your adoptive sister? You seem to be protective of her but your character also seems to be seeking to turn her in at the same time. Could you talk about Modesty, and Credence’s relationship with her?

Ezra: First of all, I just have to shout out to my scene partner Faith [Wood-Blagrove], who’s just an incredible young talent. I’m almost a little scared of Faith – you know when you meet a child and they’re overdeveloped? They’re just like really smart, funny people and you’re like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.” She’s one of those. So that was one of my favorite relationships to find the dynamic of in the movie. I think they’re protective of each other, which I think is really sweet.

I think we see even a couple moments where she’s really protective of him, too, because he bears the brunt of a lot of Mary Lou’s anger and her overzealous behavior. The betrayal of her – that he is willing to give her up if she should turn out to be the person that Graves is looking for – demonstrates the desperation that Credence has to escape his reality and find something that can solve the problems that he feels are gonna destroy him if they’re not sorted out.

The complicated feels of “Secrets of Dumbledore”

As I already said before, being a Harry Potter fan is really complicated right now.

I would have been so much more excited for Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore years back, regardless of the plot holes and problems. But this franchise, which had so much potential, really feels cursed these days. So it’s maybe for the best that this movie might be the last one.

When we last left Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) and his beasts, his rambunctious Niffler Teddy just stole the blood oath necklace that held Dumbledore (Jude Law) back from going after Grindelwald (Madds Mikkelsen). Queenie (Alison Sudol) and Jacob (Dan Fogler) broke up and Queenie joined Grindelwald, and Credence (Ezra Miller) might be Dumbledore’s brother. 

So now Dumbledore, Newt, and Jacob are ready to fight Grindelwald, who has manipulated his way into the wizarding world’s election for Supreme Mugwump. On the squad is Newt’s brother Theseus, (Callum Turner), the late Leta Lestranger’s brother Yusuf Kama (William Nadylam) and Professor Lally Hicks (Jessica Williams). Dumbledore, knowing he has to face his former lover (yes, it’s explicitly stated), is also forced to reckon with his past.

You’ll be happy to know that the magical creatures are a huge part of the plot after being sidelined in the last movie. Also, we finally get the full tragic Dumbledore family history that was pretty much cut from the Deathly Hallows movie, as well as the true backstory of Credence...which does work, but because it took such a long, convoluted path to get to the answers, the ultimate resolution feels a bit like a letdown.

Watching this gave me mixed feelings. On one hand, there is still a lot of good to appreciate. Redmayne is adorable, Law is perfect as Dumbledore, and I’m sorry, but Mikkelsen is such an upgrade as Grindelwald that I don’t understand why they didn’t just cast him in the first place. The visuals are spectacular and the magical creatures are as adorable as ever. And despite all the dark subplots of wizarding politics, there are several moments of whimsy that will make anyone nostalgic for the Harry Potter of old.

And yet.

There were parts that were so frustrating. Which brings us into the elephant in the room: Rowling.

It’s amazing how someone who can write with such perception be so blind about their own prejudices. She shows us sequences of Grindelwald manipulating his way into power through prejudice and fanatical powers, and playing on feelings of prejudices. She shows us Queenie’s dawning realization that she has been complicit in acts of evil. She shows us Obscurials like Ariana Dumbledore and Credence wind up destroying themselves because their trauma has caused them to repress their truest selves.

But despite all this, all this spot-on commentary on the damage of bigotry, she cannot (or will not) understand how she’s harming the transgender community. It’s an irony that cannot be ignored. And it’s heartbreaking and infuriating at the same time. 

If this is the final Fantastic Beasts movie, it ends on a fairly good note, doing its best to tie up loose ends while leaving some open. With all the other problems plaguing the series, it might be better just to end it now instead of adding on two more movies as was originally planned.

If only the rest of the problems for the Harry Potter fandom could be resolved so easily. Some of us can’t bring ourselves to completely disavow the series that we loved, myself included. There’s still so much good in the bad.

Perhaps the most poignant theme of Secrets of Dumbledore addresses is while there is evil in the world, not everybody is completely good or bad. No matter much we deny it, everybody holds some subconscious bias. And while some people deserve to be written off, others may eventually see the light and try to make amends. 

I want so badly to believe that’s still true.

7 out of 10

When did Storm Shadow Become a Villain?

There is a scene in GI Joe Resolute where Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow are having their obligatory Ninja Battle and (Spoilers I Guess) Storm Shadow reveals that he orchestrated his uncle, The Hard Master’s, death and that he fully meant to kill Snake Eyes as well, out of jealousy and because his uncle would not teach him the final secret to killing a man in seven steps, fearing that young Storm Shadow was too volatile and violent. Towards the end of the battle Storm Shadows wrist bands come off, revealing his Arashikage tattoo on one arm and a Cobra Sigil on the other.

This version of Storm Shadow (Voiced by “every Beagle Boy on Ducktales” Eric Bauza) stands out amongst his post-2000 incarnations as an unrepentant psychopath, but still falls in line with the prominent view of Storm Shadow as a villain--one of the main villains with a special hatred for his GI Joe counterpart.

This is the version I grew up with. GI Joe vs Cobra through Sigma 6 were the prominent Joe adaptations when I was the target demographic and all throughout Storm Shadow was a bad guy to varying degrees. 

I knew in the classic Hama stuff he eventually defected, but I was not prepared for just how much he’s a heroic character from the start. There’s no big sword dual with Snake Eyes, no Anakin and Obi Wan style “friend turned bitter enemy” dynamic. It’s made clear from jump that Tommy is undercover in Cobra and remains an honorable man in search of justice. He leaves Cobra quickly and is branded as a Joe in all his figures until 2000--when they started packing their characters in two-packs with one Joe and one Cobra. In all appearances, Storm Shadow is more a Joe than a Cobra. So what led to the the modern view of Storm Shadow as a bad guy, who, even when he gets his redemption, still has a mean streak and a cruel manner? How did a character in a toy driven franchise who had more toys as a hero than a villain end up as one of the franchise’s most consistent villains?

*(For simplicity’s sake, this is only going to cover film and television portrayals of the character).

*Spoilers for pretty much every GI Joe adaptation to follow.

The first portrayal of Storm Shadow as Cobra Commander’s loyal and competent hatchet man (one of the few) is not too much older than Hama’s original Marvel version. The Sunbow version of Storm Shadow (voiced by “guy you’ve heard in everything” Keone Young) remained a loyal cobra agent--with none of the Hama version’s depth. 

He had what you might call “standard cartoon Ninja honor” where he clearly had some kind of code of ethics, but was primarily an arrogant killer (as much as he could be in a cartoon) who fought primarily with Spirit and Quick Kick (voiced by wonderfully talented “guy you’ve seen in everything” Francois Chau) as Snake Eyes was largely shunted to the side in the cartoon. The echoes of Sunbow Storm Shadow can be seen in pretty much every non-comic adaptation that followed.

Skipping right over the Dic continuation of the Sunbow cartoon because Storm Shadow actually is a Joe in that, as he was in the comics and figures of the time (and because I haven’t seen it) we come to the 2000′s era.

The Spy Troops and Valor vs. Venom DTV movies had a Storm Shadow (voiced by “guy who got his blood ripped out by Magneto in X2: X-Men United” Ty Olsson) who was essentially his Sunbow self with one major change. He actually had a history with Snake Eyes, and a bitter rivalry. The details are not gone into in either film (you get a little more in the figure file cards and mini-comics of the era) but Storm Shadow accuses Snake Eyes of betraying the Arashikage. The implication being that either Storm Shadow blames Snake Eyes for some crime or another or that there was a schism in clan. 

The File cards of the time movie go from acknowledging Storm Shadow’s time as a Joe, and claiming he’s working with Cobra again for unknown reasons, to establishing their own canon that Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were once best friends and “Sword Brothers” before Storm Shadow fell to the dark side and joined Cobra. Though Storm Shadow’s file card does end with the ominous implication that he’s got his own agenda in working with Cobra (just like his Hama incarnation) the DTV films imply that he’s a Cobra loyalist in addition to his feud with Snake Eyes.

Spy Troops and Valor vs. Venom lead in a semi-canonical way to GI Joe Sigma 6 where Storm Shadow (voiced by “guy whose only other role I recognize is pulling double duty as Zeke Stane and Living Laser in the Iron Man 3 videogame” Tom Wayland) more or less continues the previous two iterations’ version of Storm Shadow. He once again accuses Snake Eyes of some great betrayal that broke their friendship. The GI Joe website at the time includes the detail that Storm Shadow was infiltrating Cobra when he was brainwashed into becoming a loyal Cobra agent. It’s another concession, like his 2001 file card, to Hama’s heroic double agent, while still portraying him in line with Sunbow’s villainous henchman. 

GI Joe Resolute comes next, where we see a departure from any pretense of Storm Shadow being a good guy. Resolute, in many ways, comes off as a gritty direct continuation of the Sunbow series, and it takes Sunbow’s villainous Storm Shadow and strips him of even the token bits of honor and humanity he had. It also, as near as I can tell, begins the trend of Storm Shadow outright resenting Snake Eyes, rather than being his one time friend.

As an irrelevant aside, I have my problems with Resolute but I do love everyone’s character designs and Eric Bauza does a fantastic job as one fourth of the cast. His Sean Connery impression for Destro is particularly inspired.

This brings us to the big ones. GI Joe: RIse of Cobra and GI Joe: Retaliation where Storm Shadow is brought to the big screen by Lee Byung-Hun (who I don’t have a snarky/informative aside for because shamefully despite how prolific he is I’ve only seen him in these movies and The Magnificent 7 remake) and as a child by Brandon Soo Hoo (he’s also been in a lot of stuff, but I particularly liked his turn as Beast Boy in the animated New 52 DC movies).

Lee’s Storm Shadow in the first film falls in line with his portrayals up to this point, probably skewing most closely towards Sunbow. He has a code of ethics (he doesn’t kill women apparently) but he’s still a bad guy and he seems to quite like it. Lee brings a charm to the character that had not really existed up until that point. He also spends a lot of time maskless (and it’s hard to blame the production team for that one, he’s a very handsome dude) which was a shock for anyone who grew up with the 2001 era storm shadow where the thought of him without a mask was so insane that it was relegated to a mail in figure (As a kid I seriously thought he had some Mandalorian style code of not removing it)

His origin in this version takes bits of Hama and bits of Resolute (or Resolute took from this, Resolute came out first but this might have been in development). It is, as far as I can tell, the first version to have Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes train together as children and it portrays Storm Shadow, even as a child, as an arrogant and jealous person.

Now, at least in my opinion, it’s fairly obvious that the first movie fully intended Storm Shadow to be a baddie, full stop. There’s a little wiggle room given that we never see him stab The Hard Master in the flashback (the Hard Master in this version is Storm Shadow’s father rather than his uncle) but the way he taunts Snake Eyes about it during their final confrontation makes a pretty compelling case for his having committed patricide.

The sequel would bring back elements of the Hama backstory. Zartan killed The Hard Master and Storm Shadow had to infiltrate Cobra to discover that. Given Cobra Commander and Storm Shadow are of roughly the same age (Storm Shadow being a bit older I think) and this event occurred when they were both children it’s unclear on who’s orders Zartan did this but we do know it was done to turn the already volatile young man into the perfect angry ninja assassin (given this canon is pretty much over we’ll probably never know for sure, but my guess based on the IDW movie universe comics is that Zartan either did it at the behest of the Red Ninja Clan or just to have a tiny assassin of his own, probably the former since they seem to regard each other as unpleasant colleagues who sometimes work together).

What I particularly like about this version is that, because the first movie portrayed him as this charmingly sadistic Bond Villain henchman, even after he switches sides in the sequel he’s still kind of a belligerent dick. It’s a fun piece of characterization that even once he’s cleared his name, avenged his father, and made his peace with his family, it doesn’t change the fundamental fact that he’s not a very nice person.

This is something that would persist into the next (and for the moment last, but more on that later) onscreen version of Storm Shadow.

GI Joe Renegades (the best GI Joe Cartoon, fight me) saw Storm Shadow (voiced by “holy crap this guy originated the role of Saw Gerrera in Clone Wars” Andrew Kishino) as the leader of the Arashikage Clan (explicitly a crime syndicate, harkening back to implications in Hama’s version) who operates independent of Cobra except very briefly and only to fulfill his own ends (again bringing him closer to Hama’s version than any of his predecessors). Falling in line with the implications of the movie and Resolute, he and Snake Eyes were uneasy classmates more than friends and trained together as teenagers. An attempt to kill Snake Eyes went awry and resulted in the death of the Hard Master (who again, seemed to favor Snake Eyes over his own nephew). Storm Shadow believes Snake Eyes to have killed The Hard Master(somehow failing to connect the dots given his own murder plan failed the same night Snake Eyes allegedly murdered his uncle--or hell he’s probably just in denial until the truth slaps him in the face). 

Also, irrelevant aside number 2, in contrast with Resolute I really don’t like this character design. Renegades had pretty good character design all around, neatly bringing together various versions in a way that felt coherent but I don’t like the little tufts of hair sticking out of the mask or the way it kinda hangs in front of his mouth. Is he hiding his face or not? It seems like he’s not so much wearing a mask as a bandana and an oversized turtleneck.

This version neatly ties together the “Snake Eyes betrayed us” of the early 2000′s, the “arrogant unfavorite” of the mid 2000s and the “out for justice assassin” of Hama’s run. He is, again, an arrogant prick from the start, but his genuine shame and resolve to abandon his quest for vengeance and his extremely short partnership with Cobra make his eventual redemption (or the start of what you assume would have been a longer redemption arc had the series continued) more believable than the live action movies--if a mite less fun.

And that’s where it ends, at least until the much delayed Snake Eyes live action movie is finally released, where Storm Shadow is set to be played by “guy from the best episode of American Gods Season 2″ Andrew Koji. I quite like the look of the cast of this movie, and I’m excited to see what Koji brings to the role. Will Storm Shadow be arrogant, murderous, honorable, charming, brooding, misunderstood, cruel, vengeful...some impossible combination of all of the above? We’ll have to wait and see.

*Including the various alternate comic book versions probably would have painted a more complete picture, but I’ve only read Hama’s run and the IDW reboot (where Storm Shadow is kind of a non-entity), besides this was more about tracing Storm Shadow through the adaptations I watched as a kid.

*None of the adaptations seem to go with Hama’s original detail that Storm Shadow and Jinx were from Northern California. On the one hand I see why you transplant them to Japan with the rest of their family (it’s a globetrotting element and makes the cast more cosmopolitan) but I always liked the idea of that they were children of immigrants.

*Adaptations have been touch and go about casting Japanese actors in the role but I was impressed to find out that Sunbow cast Japanese Americans as both Storm Shadow and Jinx, making them probably the most faithful casting in relation to their original backstories.

*Apologies for my complete inability to get screenshots of roughly the same size or resolution.

Almost Lover

Inspired by the song by A Fine Frenzy, this is for my own writing challenge.

Summary: You finally let go of your Hogwarts flame, Fred Weasley.  Word Count: 971 Note: This was supposed to be my song for lyrical for dance this past year, and that’s how I ended up falling in love with it. This is an angsty, narrative piece and I’m actually very proud of it. Also, fun fact, the singer is Alison Sudol, who would later go on to play Queenie Goldstein in the Fantastic Beast movies. 

“Hey Fred,” you spoke, stopping your footsteps. 

“Hmm?” He turned, letting go of your hand. The two of you had gone on an afternoon walk after your morning affairs.

“What is this?” You sighed, hands shaking slightly. “I mean, I know that’s the one question you aren’t supposed to ask, but… what are we?”

His features tightened, he closed his eyes in trepidation. “Y/n…”

You’d known him for years. You could read that tone without even trying. You lightly nodded in understanding, trying to hide your quivering lips and the tears that threatened to fall.

“You should go,” he whispered, already walking the other way.

You sighed a shaky, trembling sigh, remembering that fateful day not too long ago. A tear fell from your eye, immediately burning up on the smoking paper in your hands. You held the tip of your wand on the paper, keeping the small flame alive. The paper singed and crumpled in your hands, and you dropped it just in time to not feel the small, hot embers on your fingertips. 

There comes a time in one’s life, a seemingly required milestone that everyone goes through: the troublesome task of getting over someone that was never yours to begin with. 

The smell of the smoky, papery ash took you back to once fond memories. The coastline trees swaying, Fred holding you close, lightly humming in your ear. You and Fred had connected for the first time during your sixth year, and continued an on-and-off fling for the remainder of Hogwarts. The only issue was that you broke the golden rule of having a friend with benefits: you fell in love.

Yet, looking back, could you really blame yourself? The small getaway you’d taken together, escaping for the weekend. The blinding smile on his face as you swayed through the streets, twirling like there was no tomorrow. Little did you know, there wasn’t. You turned your back on him when he couldn’t bring himself to face you. 

You confessed your feelings, spilled your heart to him, only for him to scoff and turn you down. All of the memories, all of the laughter, the nights spent together, had only held meaning for you. Now you spent the nights tossing and turning, your mind occupied by Fred. Every corner of your mind was held by a piece of him. Though you hadn’t seen him or heard from him in months, he was still there. You were nearly mad at him. He wouldn’t leave, he couldn’t let you be. Surely it wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t his problem that your fantastical mind had crafted a blissful reality that was nowhere near to existence.

You had only wanted the best for Fred in those fairytale months together. You wouldn’t have dreamt of leaving him, wouldn’t have wanted to see him unhappy a day in your life. The day that you realized the same was not true of his thoughts for you, everything came crumbling down. The images he’d promised to not forget were surely gone by now, yet for you they lingered. 

You could barely bring yourself to leave the house anymore. He was perfectly fine, living his career and life, yet you were left haunted. All of your favorite spots, ruined. Your nighttime drives, sullied. Diagon Alley, a mere forbidden wasteland of your forbidden romance. He wasn’t your lover, and never would be, yet the feigned romance still rang through your mind. Even now, even sat in your dim living room, even as hot, regretful tears fail to stop streaming down the curves and aches of your face. 

The box of his letters sat in front of you. Every piece of parchment you hadn’t dared to throw out. Every sweet message, naughty description, or friendly message. You were foolish then, and even more so now. Three glasses of wine in, you pulled the box down from the high shelf in your closet. Prying open the lid, your turned back faced him once again. Your attempts to not think about Fred had failed. The heartache ran through your chest, crippling every movement and emotion. 

Letter by letter, the pile of ash grew at your feet. Dozens of letters, dozens of heartfelt messages that felt so raw, so real. But only then. Not now. Never again. 

That charming smirk of his turned sinister, the red hair fiery, the bubbling laugh evil. He got to walk away like nothing happened, keeping his persona and reputation. You were left with a wasted two years and abandoned sense of trust in anyone forthcoming. 

You stood, brushing your hands off on your tattered jeans. You turned, letting out a sharp huff as you admired the pile of ruined parchment. With a flick of your wand the pile was swept into the fireplace, gone and forgotten.

You silently chided yourself one last time. For falling in love, for getting in too deep, for saying anything to him at all. If you were so over zealous, if you didn’t ask that question, he wouldn't have walked right out of your life. 

You padded out of the small shack. The very shack on the edge of Hogwarts’ property where you and Fred had had so many of your romps. The shack where you experienced so many firsts. The shack where you fell in love. You should’ve known he’d bring heartbreak. Almost lovers always do. 

Sighing, you took one last longing look at the shack. You startled when you heard a twig snap from what couldn’t have been more than a few yards behind you. Fearing you’d been caught, you apparated away. Leaving the memories behind. Leaving Fred behind. 

Just as you’d disappeared into the unforgiving air, Fred found himself stumbling towards the shack. You were there. You were back. He’d finally found you, only to lose you again.

Fred Taglist: @it-was-three-am​ @hariosborn​ @bforbroadway​ @haphazardhufflepuff​ @msmimimerton​ @slytherin-chaser​ @chaotic-fae-queen​ @masterofthedarkness​ @obsessedwithrandomthings​ @dramaticdraco​ @nebulablakemurphy​ @stuckindilemma​ @slytherinlovesgryffindor​ @dralf0yy​ @pastel-filme​ @marauderswhisperer​ @notruercolors​ @levylovegood​ @vintagecherrypie106​ @black-lake-confessions​ @crissdanvers​ @susceptible-but-siriusexual​ @theweasleytwinsgirl​ @besitos-41​ 

Hello, random question. Did you watch qny of the Fantastic Beasts movies? And if you did do you have any ships?

I watched the first one and what I think is the second one? The one in Paris. I’m afraid I disliked them too much to get any good story or shipping ideas from them.

I liked Colin Farrell’s performance a lot. He showed a different magic style (wandless, organic) that had me interested. But then (SPOILERS from now on, not that they would ruin much) it turns out that Graves is actually Grindelwald in disguise, and this Grindelwald is extremely boring and doesn’t have any cool magic when he is acting as himself. We don’t see that organic magic again, which opens the possibility that Grindelwald was mimicking Graves’ actual magic style so there is hope for Real Graves being just like that, only we don’t see him.

First movie wasn’t great, but it had potential. I liked Graves. I liked not-as-dumb-as-she-plays Queenie. I didn’t love Tina and Newt, but didn’t hate them either. However, the characters weren’t strong enough to distract me from the clusterfuck that is American magical society as presented in the film. Hooray for those who could go past it, this isn’t meant as criticism to them. Go forth and enjoy your ships, my dears. It’s just that I tend to stop and look at social structures and…

JKR tends to project an image of British Imperialism Nostalgia with quite a shallow treatment of all that it not White English (and I say English and not British here because, dear me, what it going on with Ireland in the books?). But, in this movie things go to an extreme.

You see, the president of the MACUSA is a black woman. Which, I’m sure they felt so clever and progressive when they came with that. You have a two for one: female and black! Yay, representation!

Only, what I as spectator see is that the most powerful person in American magical society is a woman of colour who, apparently, is fine with the racial terrorism against Black muggles. She is an elected representative who has no problem with Black muggles being prevented from voting (by force if not by law). This tells me that the segregation between Magical and No-Maj is stronger than any racial bonds. Sucks four your muggle cousins that they are being stripped from their rights, but, oh, well, we must respect the International Statue of Secrecy.

I… I can’t get past that.

The second movie touches all my hell-no! buttons. First, the implicit female on male rape is okay (no, Queenie, you were such a great character) and second, Blood Ties, by which I mean that tendency to have all characters related to each other and/or to some mythical person. This is something seen in many other works, not just HP, but it bothers me all the same that characters must be long-lost sons, grandsons, cousins, or brothers of someone in order to be relevant. In the Nature versus Nurture debate, I am strongly for the Nurture side and these plots go for Nature without doing much to win me over. The Lestrange family always used Dark Arts just because, and you must be a Dumbledore in order to be relevant in the second movie.

Also (and this isn’t as important, but still) people follow Grindelwald despite him having zero charisma. The totalitarian movements emerging in Europe at that time had in common the presence of strong, charismatic, leader. We see them as monster now, but we can’t forget they were extremely attractive paternalistic monsters. Dumbledore in the movies is the perfect likeable leader who could easily take you down the path of destruction. Grindelwald? Nah.

So the movies didn’t work for me. They give me too many questions with bad and complicated answers and they remind too much of all the things I dislike from the HP universe without bringing something bright and neat in exchange. I just hope Graves is all right.

Ezra Miller represents a $200 million problem for Warner Bros. That's the budget for Flash, starring Miller as a spandex-clad superhero. Scheduled to be released next summer, it is DC Comics' big bet against the Marvel movies produced by Disney that have the world dominated, such as the series of avengers Y spider-man. There's just one problem: Her lead star has been involved in a series of controversies, from hosting a woman and her children on a Vermont farm where apparently there were guns everywhereto two recent arrests in Hawaii. The first, on March 27, occurred in a seedy bar when police say Miller ripped the microphone off a woman singing karaoke. Police became involved when an enraged Miller yelled obscenities and allegedly lunged at a man playing darts. The second incident came a month later, when Miller was asked to leave a meeting and the actor threw a chair, punched a woman and left a half-inch gash on her forehead, police said. Later that night, a couple filed a restraining order against him after Miller allegedly broke into his room and threatened to "bury" them. In just three weeks, Miller was the subject of 10 police calls in the sleepy town of Hilo, Hawaii. Not long ago, Miller was the favorite of independent cinema thanks to his roles in after school Y We Need to Talk About Kevinbefore achieving stardom in the franchise Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, written by JK Rowling, and in the DC universe. She has also positioned herself as an advocate for the LGBT+ community, declaring herself queer in 2012 and non-binary in 2018, when she stated: “It didn't identify me as a man, it didn't identify me as a woman. I barely identify as a human being.” Flash was poised to make Miller the first queer actor to star in a superhero movie, but now all of that is in jeopardy. According to dead line, Warner Bros. has tried to "get help" for Miller, but at this point it seems unlikely he'll stick around for future projects. After all, this is the same studio that fired Johnny Depp after his failed UK lawsuit against The Sun. Ezra Miller was born into a wealthy family in New Jersey in 1992; his father was a successful publisher and his mother was a dancer. To overcome his childhood stutter, Miller began singing opera, debuting at the New York premiere of White Raven by Philip Glass at Lincoln Center in 2001. However, Miller was also the target of homophobic bullying in high school. "I was trying to kiss the boys at school," Miller told Out in 2012. “I went from having a stutter to being a totally gay little opera singer to being a really confused queer teenager.” Miller dropped out of high school at 16, not because of bullying, but because of Beethoven. In interview with nyc magazine, said the composer appeared to him in a dream: “He was crying and said: 'The four symphonies I have written are not good. They just aren't enough.' And I said, 'Write five more! Keep going!'. And I woke up in a cold sweat and thought, 'I need to drop out of school. It wasn't a total leap of faith. Miller had already acted in several television shorts and in 2008 he made his first big screen appearance in Antonio Campos' dark directorial debut, after school. She was perfectly suited to her role in the creator's first film. euphoriaSam Levinson, Another Happy Day in 2011, in which Miller played Ellen Barkin's arrogant teenage son. Miller arrived late to meet Levinson when he was casting for the film, and demanded to sit outside so he could smoke. “I thought: 'What a fucking asshole! It's perfect for this movie," recalled the director. Miller found his niche as an offbeat and talkative teenager, earning rave reviews for his performance in the title role of We Need to Talk About Kevin, from 2011, based on Lionel Shriver's novel about a boy who seeks to destroy his mother. She later landed a role in the popular adaptation of The Perks of Being a Wallflower alongside Emma Watson. That's when Miller started appearing in the news for all the wrong reasons.

while filming The Perks...the actor was arrested by the police after being pulled over for a broken taillight, where he was found, in Miller's own words, under a "quilt" of grass. Ezra Miller in Fantastic Beasts (Warner Bros) General fame came in 2016 when Miller landed the roles of Credence in Fantastic Beasts... and The Flash in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Then strange videos began to appear. One day, Miller was doing an emotional and slightly manic rendition of Rihanna's "Work" on a hotel lobby piano, and the next, she was giving an indecipherable interview on the red carpet, dressed as Toadette from Mario Kart. At a 2017 Comic-Con, she spontaneously kissed a fan on the mouth after he asked to smell Miller's breath for alcohol. It was confusing, but not too worrisome. That was until 2020, when a video appeared on Twitter in which Miller apparently choked a woman at a bar in Reykjavik. "I thought it was just fun and games, but it wasn't," the woman, who remained anonymous, recently told Variety, after being silent for two years. No charges were ever filed against the actor. Miller never publicly commented on the incident. Then, earlier this year, Miller released a tirade on social media addressed what he called the "Beulaville chapter" of the Ku Klux Klan in North Carolina, telling them to "commit suicide." The Southern Poverty Law Center, a civil rights organization that monitors hate groups, said it was not aware of any Klan activity in the area. Then came the Hawaii incidents. Ezra Miller, Ben Affleck and Gal Gadoy in Justice League (Warner Bros) Since then, more accusations have been made against Miller, the most serious of which comes from the parents of an 18-year-old from North Dakota. Miller is accused of doing grooming and “psychologically manipulating, physically intimidating, and endangering the safety and well-being” of her son, Tokata Iron Eyes, since Iron Eyes was 12 years old. In a Interview with The Independent, his father, Chase Iron Eyes, noted, "Our life was turned upside down," alleging that Miller gave the teen alcohol, marijuana and LSD throughout their friendship. "When we picked up Tokata from Ezra's farm, we weren't sure that he would ever function, psychologically, mentally or intellectually, at the level he had exhibited before he fell into Ezra's clutches," he said. Since then, a courtcould not locate" to Miller to serve them with a protective order against Tokata. The actor's Instagram account has also been deactivated. The Independent has contacted the court to ask if he has been able to serve the actor. However, Iron Eyes has denied the allegations against Miller, saying, “This is my life. These are my decisions and I am disappointed in my parents and the press in every way." After that, another mother and her 12-year-old son received a temporary harassment prevention order against Miller after alleging that the actor threatened his family at his neighbor's house and acted inappropriately with the child. In a June 30 report on Variety, a German woman also alleged that Miller had harassed her after refusing to leave her Berlin apartment in February 2022. She claims that Miller was enraged after she told her she couldn't smoke in her house; the actor was convinced to leave on his own after she called the police. A week before, on June 23, the rolling stone magazine reported that Miller's farm in Vermont, where she had been housing another mother and her three children, had "guns and bullets everywhere." A source recalled an incident in which one of the boys, aged one, allegedly put a stray bullet in his mouth. A source close to Miller told Variety that the star hopes to address the allegations against him at some point, but has "chosen to focus privately on his health and healing." His next role is that of a young Salvador Dalí in the biographical film Daliland by Mary Harron. The film is currently in post-production, but who knows what will become of Miller's role if more allegations surface.

Kevin Spacey has shown that actors can be replaced and scenes can be reshot. Some DC fans have already called on the studio to replace Miller with Grant Gustin, who plays The Flash in the accompanying CW show. "Warner Bros. doesn't win on this," a studio source recently told dead line . For Miller, there could also be no turning back from such a long list of indiscretions. The Independent has contacted Ezra Miller's representatives for comment.

An Introduction

Hello. My name is Jordan, and as the title of my blog states, I used to be a Harry Potter fan.

I want to keep this somewhat concise, but I initially got into Harry Potter when I was in elementary school. I was more a movie fan than a book fan, but I still considered myself a fan all the same (I wasn't in the fandom though, since this was before I knew what fandoms even were). I could tell you that Hermione was my favorite (mostly because I could relate to being a brainy outcast), I went to an exhibition in Seattle, saw the last movie in theaters, and I dreamed about the day I would get to go to Hogwarts.

As the years passed, I moved on to other interests, though my opinion of the series remained positive. I remember seeing the first Fantastic Beasts film in theaters as well, and really liked it (my grandparents liked it as well, and I couldn't get them to watch any of the Harry Potter films beyond the fourth).

And then, my feelings started to change during the production of the second FB film, Crimes of Grindelwald. It just seemed like controversy after controversy surrounded the film and it hadn't even come out yet. First wasJohnny Depp being kept on the cast despite having been accused of domestic abuse (I know he's largely considered innocent now, but we didn't know that at the time) despite the same studio firing Jamie Waylett for growing pot. Then there was Nagini being revealed as a human woman and portrayed by a South Korean evidence (not only is the naga an Indonesian myth, but having Nagini be an Asian woman permanently transformed into a snake opened up a lot of unfortunate implications). The last I can think of off the top of my head was the announcement that despite Dumbledore being revealed as gay in 2007 (after the release of the last book), he would not be portrayed as gay in the films (Queerbaiting 101, and I distinctly remember this ticking me off before I even realized that I was bisexual).

It was about that point I disavowed Fantastic Beasts (and my grandparents later confirmed that the second film was a mess). However, I thought that my childhood nostalgia for the Harry Potter series couldn't be tarnished. Hell, I distinctly remember that in December 2019/January 2020, I was starting to reread the first book.

It was about that same time that Rowling let her TERF flag fly so much that even the cis folks couldn't ignore it anymore. (This was also a year before I realized I'm probably a demigirl).

I don't quite remember when I found out, whether it was the winter of 2020 or the summer of 2020. Personally, I think that's a bit immaterial. What I do remember is how disappointed I was. Initially, I fully prepared myself to disavow the series and launched myself headlong into social activism (the BLM protests last year were also a pretty good catalyst).

Then, in May of 2021, I asked an online friend of mine (hi Rita) if she wanted to rewrite the Harry Potter series at some point. I don't quite remember what I was going through my head. Maybe I was watching too many videos analyzing how icky Rowling's beliefs were. Maybe it had something to do with Ian Hart (the guy who played Professor Quirrell in the first movie, but I know him better as that guy who played John Lennon three separate times). However it started, we just went off about the problems we had with the series. And then I started revisiting the books and the movies. It was about then that I started realizing that even beyond the moments that hadn't aged well (*cough* SPEW *cough*) and Rowling's implicit prejudices, I started realizing that the series had many more issues than I'd realized previously (nonsensical worldbuilding, etc).

So that's basically the story up until now. The rewrite we're working on is still a very much work in progress, and I do plan on eventually dedicating blog space to that. For now though, it's just my space to reblog posts I find interesting and to add my own voice to the mix and keep my main blog mainly Beatles oriented (especially since I'll be rereading all seven books, wish me luck).

Aside from one last assurance that I do not hold with any of Rowling's beliefs, I would like to add that you should not expect regular updates.

A Very Potter Sequel, Fantastic Beasts, and Cursed Child

Fans of Starkid know that the Harry Potter novels were the result of a scheme by Gilderoy Lockhart to make money by selling a story familiar to the Wizarding World to muggle audiences.  As with Lockhart’s previous books like The Lord of the Rings, he didn’t actually write most of Harry Potter: Hermione wrote it, and Lockhart tricked her into signing over the rights.  

After that, he made changes to the events in the story which he claimed would make it more commercially viable, but which actually made them worse.  For example, Lockhart’s revisions to the books included a fictional race that enjoyed being slaves, which Hermione’s original version did not include.  Also, Lockhart’s alterations removed the romance between Voldemort and Quirrel.  

But nearly a decade after Lockhart’s seventh book was published in the Muggle world, he got greedy and decided he needed more money.  Maybe he was no longer content to be the size of a mouse.  The problem for Lockhart was that Hermione was no longer his fan, so he couldn’t trick her into writing more books for him.

In his first attempt, he wrote a play based on a storyline from Hermione’s telling of Harry’s first year (as shown in A Very Potter Sequel):  After Voldemort’s death, a group of Death Eaters travel back in time to try and kill Harry before he is able to defeat V.  Fortunately, Draco saves the day by taking a Time Turner from his father and coming back to help Harry.

Lockhart tried to replicate this storyline with his OC Delphini, But he didn’t really understand what Hermione had written (such as the fact that it was satire), so he ended up creating a rather poor play.  Also, the use of Delphi didn’t really make sense (like, why would V need Delphini when he already had a daughter with Quirrel?)

Around the same time, Lockhart also found another writer and tricked them into writing a new story which he could use for five movies with Harry Potter characters.  While we don’t know who Lockhart duped into writing for him, they evidently weren’t as good a writer as Hermione, and thus they produced an inferior film series.