#is this seriously my last post of 2023. goddamn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gender-trash · 3 months

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(i am seriously late in posting about this due to The Problems BUT whatever! its here now!!)

somewhere around late november 2022, i asked my dad "hey are there any out of print technical books you'd like a reprint of for christmas?"

he linked me to a dubious black-and-white pdf of Foundations of Mechanical Accuracy. now, i wound up checking out a copy through link+, and the original edition is a really nicely put together book! the chapters are themed around various types of measurements (length, angle, etc), and they all have these cute little diagrams which the endpapers reuse in a lil repeating pattern... the image captions are done in this really lovely dark red that did not scan for SHIT... tons and tons of diagrams and illustrations and images (both color and b&w)... just, all around, a fucking nice book!! (see also @morrak's post about it here.)

and that made me feel kind of bad about the crappiness of the pdf, which is where the Problems began. i used my phone to take pictures of all the photos and color diagrams in the original and went about replacing them in the pdf, using what turned out to be the world's worst pdf editing software (i also got through replacing all the image captions in chapter 1 of 5 before my dad convinced me to give up). i did NOT finish the pdf editing before christmas 2022 (i was going somewhat off the deep end, because both my housemates were away visiting family and i had zero external structure in my life so it was just me and my cat and this stupid FUCKING pdf wrecking my sleep schedule together); i poked away at it for most of the rest of my time off and then got so goddamn sick of it i put the project away for months. "it'll be a birthday gift instead", i said optimistically (my dad's birthday is in april! it should have been enough time!)

gentle readers, i did not finish the pdf editing by april. mostly because it was such a miserable slog that i put it off until the last possible moment and then tried to make up for it with another death march.

hating both myself and the project again, i decided i was Not going to let myself typeset Anything Else before it was done, and then took a break to bind my immortal (using the renegade publishing typeset! i didn't do any typesetting!!). SURELY, i said, i can finish this in time for christmas 2023.

i'm sure you know where this is going.

in my defense i DID finish the pdf editing by christmas, despite first doing every other possible procrastination project (including a second edition of the little second century warlord book), because by this point my dad had managed to convince me to lower my standards. on the evening of the 22nd i kicked off the print job and said to myself "this will finish printing overnight and then tomorrow i can work on sewing the textblock!"

late on the 23rd, after lots of babysitting and using at least one cartridge of every color ink in my printer, the print job was finally done. (my sweet and lovely cat wants SO BADLY to hunt and stalk the printer while it is printing -- more specifically, the printed pages, i think because they tend to make noise and move and then STOP moving. for this reason, the printer is kept in the craft room, because the cat can be shut out of the craft room and thus prevented from chewing on the pages when i have an all-day book printing job going. unfortunately the craft room was also being pressed into service as a guest room at the time so 80% of the floor space was consumed by an air mattress which i had to repeatedly trip over in order to reach the printer and replace the ink cartridges.)

then i went to my parents' house on the 24th and 25th and apologized to my dad (again) for not having the book finished. but this worked out well because we finished putting together my awesome new book clamp:

(the feet still aren't done being painted so they're just dry-fit on for now but you can still clamp books in it and that's what matters!!)

i came home, sewed the textblock (french link stitch over four linen tapes, with sewn endbands made of variegated embroidery floss over linen cord, and kozo paper glued over the spine)

... and promptly realized i SHOULD HAVE PUT IN MORE OF A GUTTER because some of the text was getting reeeeeeal close to the spine. "it's fine!" i said. "i just have to make sure it lays flat!! what better time than to try out K118 binding, a technique i have literally never done before and which people on the bookbinding discord notoriously have a hard time pulling off first try! i even have tyvek tape for it!"

so it turns out that tyvek tape isn't actually tyvek with glue on it, it's tape FOR attaching pieces of tyvek TO EACH OTHER, which maybe i could have guessed if i'd done even the slightest amount of research or planning. at this point i think it was the 27th and i was still angling to get this thing done by new year's, so no time to order Actual Tyvek.

fortunately, i had ALSO received An Package in the mail with yarn for a totally unrelated knitting project... shipped in a tyvek envelope.

i peeled all the shipping labels and stickers off my tyvek envelope, cut that shit up, and glued it on there.

and THEN it was time for gluing on covers, which i thought was going to be easy because i had actually thought ahead and ordered materials (specifically acid-free museum board), except when i cracked open the box of museum board i decided i Didn't Like It because the surface was too soft and easily dented, so i glued onto it the too-thin board material i'd previously been using (so that the cardboard goes on the outside of the book). this worked super well (the cardboard stuff has a tendency to curl up from the glue moisture, but the museum board doesn't!) and i'll probably use it on other stuff in the future.

i thought the blue bookcloth i used was kind of boring but i showed my dad the available cloth options and he really liked it, so... what do you know? i cut the piece i used on the back cover very slightly too short but it wound up being covered by the leather, so you can barely tell.

and the leather... a scrap just baaaaarely big enough from my bag of leather scraps from discount fabrics... and this the first time i'd ever attempted to put leather on a book... AND YET the only complaint i have is that i didn't manage to put an even amount on the front and back. it's reasonably square and straight!! amazing!!

i am super super happy with how this project came out (especially given the number of problems i encountered) and oh my god check out how much the spine bends

AND, AS A NEW YEAR'S PRESENT, I FINALLY MANAGED TO GIVE IT TO MY DAD

#and promptly got sick after i got home from my parents' house.#which is part of why this post was so long delayed #the trashcan speaks #devil venerable also wants to exploit the memoir class for evil purposes #bookbinding

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epicbuddieficrecs · 6 months

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Epic Buddie Fic Rec | October 9th-15th 2023

Hey guys!

I'm trying to get back into the habit of making these recs every week. I've been working on a banner and it's not ready yet, but I didn't want to wait for it to be ready before making fic recs because procrastination = bad!! 😆 I hope you enjoy!

If you don't know me from my other fic rec blogs, I rec pretty much all the fics that I've read and that I've enjoyed in these recaps, but I put an emoji next to the ones that I liked just a liiiiiittle bit more 😉 For Stucky, I used blue hearts (💙), for Steddie I used black hearts (🖤), and for Buddie... well the decision wasn't too hard to make 😜

Complete

take me to the edge (then let me fall) by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP | 1K | Explicit): Or, the one where Eddie edges Buck until he loses his mind all the while calling him a good boy.

🔥 but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down) by diazchristopher/ @captain-hen (Post-S6, Time Loop | 28K Mature): He puts his laptop away after a bit, and paces the length of his apartment as he tries to take stock of the situation at hand. One: The date is March 22nd, 2024. Two: It has been March 22nd for 3 days now. Three: Buck is trapped in some kind of time loop that is forcing him to relive this day. Four: Eddie is, apparently, in love with him. And. And. Five: Buck doesn’t feel the same way.

🔥 still by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Post-Season 6 AU, Near Death Experiences | 9K | Teen): “Your guess was correct, Diaz,” the bomb technician tells them, as he gestures to the orange circle. “You’re standing on a large sensor plate, wired to a detonator. It’s incredibly important that you don’t move. Don’t shift. When you put your weight down, it was like cocking a gun - you take your weight off, this thing is powerful enough to take the entire house with it."

to feel the need of your touch by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP, Light BDSM, Post-Season 6 | 7K | Explicit): When Natalia had casually suggested they stay fuck buddies, at least until he got his shit together about Eddie, Buck had seriously considered it. But it just wasn’t what he wanted. So, he had said no and Natalia had understood, and that was that. And now, Buck was miserable. He was so sensitive. His skin felt like a live wire. Any and all touches he received started to feel like a shock to his system. Or, the one where Buck is touchstarved and desperate for Eddie. They fuck but it's also really sweet.

reassure me with your praise by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP, Kinktober, Getting Together | 5K | Explicit): Or, the one where Buck is concerned he might be bad in bed and Eddie has a solution.

bet on it by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP, Kinktober | 4K | Explicit): Or, the one where newly together Buck and Eddie make a bet to see who can last longer without sex. The bet lasts one day.

Something Dumb to Do by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Friends to Lovers, First Time | 8K | Explicit): "Too bad we can't just date each other." Eddie laughs. "What?" "No, I'm serious!" Buck sets his beer down, the better to gesture with both hands, face lighting up, and Eddie just—he really loves the guy, okay. Ridiculous as he is. "It would be so much easier! You wouldn't have to introduce a new person to Chris—he already likes me anyway—and you could tell Pepa so she'll stop setting you up on dates that don't go anywhere—" "And what would you get out of this?" Eddie asks, grinning. - Or: Buck and Eddie try something out together.

hope is a sword by marcato/ @callaplums (Post-Season 6, Near-Death Experiences | 5K | Teen): Holy shit, Eddie loves him so much. He’s been so stupid, telling himself to wait for the right moment. What right fucking moment? It should have been yesterday, three weeks ago– hell, it should have been three years ago when he was telling his best friend about the goddamn will. It doesn’t matter right now, though. The only thing that matters is keeping as much of Buck’s blood inside his body as possible. One can only hope and wish and pray.

🔥 Four Can Keep a Secret by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-Season 6, Secret Relationship | 20K | Teen): When Ravi and Hen accidentally see Buck and Eddie, who are trying hard to keep their new relationship a secret, in the middle of a romantic moment, they try to make them confess without the rest of the station finding out. Shenanigans ensue.

early hours of yearning by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (PWP, Kinktober | 4K | Explicit): “You really wanna go again?" “Yes,” he confirms, gently scratching his teeth down the side of his neck, treasuring the deep moan he gets in response. “God, you’re fucking insatiable," he hears Eddie moan as he tilts his head back, giving Buck more space to work. “Doesn’t feel like you’re complaining."

how forever feels by icesculptures/ @ice-sculptures @athenagranted (Post-Season 6, Getting Together | 8K | General): Or: tired of the growing distance between them, Eddie asks Buck to dance at Maddie and Chimney's wedding, healing more than his own heart along the way.

WIP

Don't They Know It's the End of the World? by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Fallout 4 AU, Post-Apocalyptic | 4/14 | 7K | Mature | Warning: Violence): After being put in a cryogenic sleep for over a hundred years to wait out an apocalyptic event, Eddie Diaz wakes up, too early, to find his son has been stolen from his cryo-chamber. Scared and alone in a frightening world he doesn't recognize, Eddie is willing to do anything to get his kid back.

🔥 Nothing Left But You by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars ("Blip" AU | 8/9 | 24K | Teen | Warning: MCD): In May of 2021, 25% of Earth's population suddenly disappears. Including Eddie. In May of 2026, they all come back. Eddie finds himself suddenly in the middle of a world he doesn't recognize, where the people he loves most have changed significantly.

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Demon Buck, Canon Divergent | 2/? | 4K | Teen): Buck is a demon with the power to help with pregnancy, childbirth, and infant health. When the Buckleys make a deal asking for someone to help 'save their baby', Buck leaps at the chance as it will give him what he's always wanted: a life on earth. But demon deals are tricky and neither of them gets quite what they're after. This is Buck's journey as he navigates growing up on earth and remembering how to help those in need.

🔥 for all the haunts and homes of men by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Apocalyptic, Station Eleven Crossover | WIP | 10/? | 85K | Mature | Warning: Violence): The year by the old calendar is 2025. Home is gone. Home is a failed rescue mission and an echo of a memory. Home is a lost boy living in a wooden house by the sea. But first, there was a promise. Christopher, when it's safe, I'll take you back to your father. Buck had all but given up on keeping it after the world had died and everyone in it. But just as some oaths refuse to be forgotten, so the same can be said about the endurance of love.

#buddie #buddie fic #911 fanfic #911 fanfiction #911 fic #buddie fanfic #buddie fanfiction #buddie fic rec #epic buddie fic rec

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lucky-bishop · 5 months

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Alright, to be honest, I've been kind of dreading making this post. I've posted it before and then deleted it, and deleted a whole bunch of drafts. Just. I'm going to talk about taking things in good faith. Please do the same for me.

I am not on hiatus, or taking a break, from writing or fandom. It has been less than a month since I last posted on AO3. And I have received several comments and anonymous messages all along the lines of: do I have anything coming out soon? When will I post again? What am I working on? What's next, what's next, what's next?

I am just a human person who engages in fandom as a hobby. I work full-time (and then some, these days) and I go to the gym and I have friendships to maintain and I have a family that I care about and spend time with and I have other hobbies that I try to dedicate time to as well. And to be honest it's overwhelming and I am flying by the seat of my pants and sometimes I want to do nothing at all but lay on the floor and cry.

I don't think these messages and comments are meant to make me feel bad. I am choosing to take them in good faith, because it's fun to see that people are engaged with my writing! I am so fucking grateful that there is anyone out there in the world who cares that I post anything at all! But a lot of the time it comes of as pressuring.

I don't make promises about deadlines or regular updates or anything for a reason, because I'm just a person. And to be honest, 2023 has been one of the worst goddamn years of my life so far, or at the very least, one of the most stressful. But, I post on here! I talk about my works in progress! You can also find me on Discord (if you're curious about where, I am part of both the Always the Alpha and Stiles Shipping Central servers) talking about this stuff! I do my best to communicate and promote and all that jazz.

So. All this to say, I'm not going anywhere. And I'm happy to get questions about the projects that I'm working on and share about them. I guess I'm just asking that people be mindful that some of these messages may come across as pressure/demanding/entitlement. The reason I didn't answer any of the asks directly (or deleted those responses) is because I'm not saying this to try to make anyone feel bad, but just to explain how some of it has been making me feel. PLEASE, if you have sent me something like this and I didn't respond, do NOT feel bad about it! Like I said, I am SO grateful for having any interaction about my stuff at all, seriously, I mean that from the bottom of my fucking heart.

I love you all so much and I love having fun and being a part of fandom. But I'm also just a person. A little grace would be appreciated 💖

#personal #fandom problems #my writing

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acaplaya-musings · 18 days

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Voiceplay-adjacent Visuals: Jack's Lament

Can you feel me practically vibrating out of my skin???

On one hand, I'm a little sad because this is the last video I'll probably be making a post about for a while (though by the time you see this, Geoff might have uploaded a new video that I can actually talk about the visuals for (EDIT from future me: he did!), and if so, you'll be seeing a post for that one tomorrow), but on the other hand, this is my third (though in no particular order/ranking) favourite Geoff video on his channel so far, and I am so excited to finally be able to make a post for it!

Geoff's cover of Jack's Lament debuted on the 8th of October, 2023, though I didn't see it pop up in my YouTube recommended until the 29th (if you remember from my Hellfire post, I wasn't initially subscribed to Geoff or Voiceplay, and both channels somehow ended up dropping off my radar for a while. Jack's Lament was the first from either channel that I had seen in at least a year, and as soon as I saw that thumbnail, I knew it was going to be amazing, but oh my GOD it was even better (and with me stumbling upon Hellfire the very next day, well let's just say I was pulled even deeper down the Geoff/Voiceplay rabbithole than I had been the first time around 😅).

Anyway, I'm not sure if I'll hit image limit on this one, or how much actual commentary I may have, but regardless, let's freaking go!

One hell of an opening shot, not gonna lie. Geoff's very-skeletal-looking hands playing the piano (in a beautiful way, might I add), immediately sets a very spooky/eerie vibe!

And this is one hell of an establishing shot! I mean goddamn there is a lot to take in here! Though one thing I will point out (that I actually only just noticed myself ^^;) is the Haunted Mansion headstone on the left, memorialising Madame Leota!

(Also shoutout to Pattycake Production Studios where this was filmed!)

I of course have to give a MASSIVE shoutout and kudos to Rick Underwood for the makeup job in this one, like holy christ he really outdid himself here! (and I can't thank him enough)

Ngl, if I don't come up with any other ideas between now and October, then I kinda wanna dress as "Jack Skellington Geoff" (Geoff Caskellington? 🤔), makeup and all (or just attempt the face makeup at least)

And seriously take a look at his hands! If it weren't for the super-high-definition closeup of his hands on the piano at the start, you'd be forgiven for thinking those are just really well-fitting gloves, but nope! An amazing airbrush job from Mr Underwood!

Also, if you look at his neck and chest in both this image and the previous one, you'll notice that he's got airbrushing going on there too, highlighting (or more accurately, shading) his ribs and other bones!

Finally, on the subject of the body paint job, if you've been paying attention to some of my other Geoff posts (and some of my Voiceplay posts), you might notice what's missing...

No necklace, and no rings! Had to remove them for costume/makeup/character purposes, rip. Must have felt a bit weird without them, but all that paint must have felt weird too, so maybe the weird feelings cancelled each other out? 😅

(His acting in this is of course 10/10 👌)

This video is one that I do actually know involved Geoff deliberately colouring his hair to make it grey, and it still looks as lovely as ever!

(Also this picture is a better one to check out the airbrushed detailing on his chest! (if you're gonna leave a couple of shirt buttons undone and your chest exposed, might as well take advantage of it! 😁))

The "moon" in this video is apparently just some big spotlight with a moon cover on it or something? Apparently you can fairly easily find them online or something, and you can in fact see the pole it's attached to underneath in this image here, but you likely wouldn't notice the pole if you weren't looking for it, and the usage of the moon is 100% perfect! (I've seen/heard one or two people wishing the moon was yellow like in the movie, but eh, it probably wouldn't have fitted the overall colour scheme of the video as much)

I had to include the "jumpscare" of course I had to! 😁

Also I can't get any good screencaps of it, but the way Geoff shifts from sombre on "a longing that I've never known," to more theatric/dramatic on "I'm a master of fright, and a demon of light" is so good, and the acting/choreography is absolute chefs kiss

"Bonjour!"

(For those of you not familiar with the original, the line "and I'm know throughout England and France" is part of the original song, but the "bonjour!" bit is not 😆)

A Geoff head not connected to the body! It's happened again! 😂

Also it's cool the way Geoff is quickly jumping/flashing from one point to another, reminds me of his Headless Horseman video

"No animal, nor man, can SCREAM like I can!"

What can I say, it's a very cool effect! Really ups the "oomph" factor of the little belt moment!

Tiny pumpkins/jack-o-lanterns in his eyes!!

"But who here, would ever understand..."

(I'm not even at half the maximum image limit yet, so I'm 100% just throwing in an extra screencap (or two) just because 😁)

Geoff pats the side of his leg to call for Zero the ghost dog, just in in the scene in the movie! (Also shoutout to Kathy, who I believe helped with puppeteering for this bit?)

"...that the pumpkin king, with the skeleton grin,"

(Freaking obsessed with this video, I tell ya!)

"The fame and praise, come year after year, does nothing for these empty tears"

This is the last shot before we see the gramophone logo (a very gorgeous shot btw), but there's a little bit of a bonus bit for those who stick around for the Patron credits!!

It starts to snow! Like at the end of the movie! It's a sign of hope and good things to come! <3

The original song is good for the movie, sure, but Geoff's cover feels like it has so much more depth (in more ways than one!) and emotion! And his vocal range is ugh god absolutely stunning and mindblowing! I cannot get enough, can never get enough!

But anyway, I hope you've been enjoying my Voiceplay/Voiceplay-adjacent posts! If there are any videos I've skipped over that you actually would like me to make a post on, please let me know! (And don't worry, I am planning to do all the 2017-onwards Christmas videos for both channels eventually - maybe as a Christmas In July thing?) I'm typing this on the 22nd of February, and if Voiceplay uploads a video in March that I wanna make a post on (nope), well you reading this will have already seen that post, and if Geoff uploads something in March that I wanna talk about (he did), then you'll see that post tomorrow (you will!). But otherwise, thanks for reading!

#geoff castellucci #jack's lament #jacks lament #acaplaya analysis #voiceplay-adjacent visuals

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tortoisesshells · 1 year

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2022 Fanfic Year in Review: tortoiseshells on AO3

Thanks for the tag @hmsannlett!

Total Completed Works: 6.

Word Count: 6,925 - strictly from completed works; 105,996 including chapters from Customs and Duties.

Fandoms I’ve Written In: Pirates of the Caribbean, The Blackwell Series, Fallout 4, Band of Brothers (specifically for @mercurygray‘s The Darkening Sky-verse), 1899

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected?: Less, honestly. Real Life Issues have really eroded my down time and mental space, and while I’m grateful to have the opportunity to take care of my family, I do miss the space I had before.

What’s Your Own Favorite Story Of The Year?: I love all my children equally. Customs and - uh, hang on. the ink on my hand is smudged.

In all seriousness, though, Customs Ch. 22 “Unused to Home” or [Nellie “Sustained Mental Breakdown” Treat Has A Bad Time] was my favorite single chapter to write, since I finally got to jam the last bits of her backstory in there; my favorite completed fic was probably et mūtam nēquīquam alloquerer cinerem, because I love untranslated Latin and trivia about Boston and the history of the Bonus Army, and unfortunately all twelve of you who read it just had to go along with it.

Do You Have Any Fanfic Goals For The New Year?: Either I finish Customs or Customs finishes me. Curse of the Black Pearl turns 20 this year, and it would be thematically appropriate for me to finish in time for the Big Anniversary. That, and I really only have to [checks notes] figure out the entire back half of that Fallout 4 fic about the putative shore whaling economy of post-apocalyptic Massachusetts that exists only in my imagination and as a flimsy excuse for Piper Wright/OFC.

Most Popular Story Of The Year?: lol. Probably Customs, but pretty much everything else I was lucky to break 50 hits and 4 kudos.

Story Of Mine Most Under-Appreciated By The Universe, In My Opinion: I was never expecting great things for a short character study of the most unpopular character in Fallout 4 but, in the words of the man himself, goddamn. I suppose getting hit with some weird bot or glitch that gave me more kudos than hits on bear your neighbor’s burden is some consolation but ... it’s really not.

Most Fun Story To Write: had you not better make One of us, which features teenage Elizabeth Swann’s growing pains, Captain Johnson’s history of piracy, musing about sharks via shark-tooth fossils, and the as-yet only canon-to-the-original-AU appearance of the late, lamented Captain Samuel Treat. I had fun with the character voices and it was nice to have Samuel doing something other than being dead in a Boston graveyard.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: I could stand here joking about being even more emotionally shut-down than either of my protagonists in Customs, but I suspect I’ve done that before. Lauren Blackwell’s inner monologue in save me, damn you, for all that I’m not an unwilling psychic in 1970s Manhattan.

Biggest Disappointment: well, it happened two days into 2023, but Netflix canning 1899 was a little bit of a let down to my fic-writing ambitions she says, with dozens of tabs on late 19th century liners and hydrography and radio technology open.

Biggest Surprise: I wasn’t expecting to get into a new fandom with about a week to go in the year, and it feels almost like cheating to say that 1899 was a surprise, since it hits a lot of my narrative buttons. But, yeah, for the sake of argument (and undercutting my own surprise because me? using Emily Dickinson for a fic title? vintage Mercy Street.) covers the Abyss with Trance — So Memory can step.

Tagging: @mercurygray, @theonlyredcar, @shoshiwrites, @jomiddlemarch, @r-osehips, and anyone else who wants to talk!

#polknaknox talks #fic #my fic

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whatsnewalycat · 1 year

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hi Aly! I only recently discovered your Psychomanteum fic and blog, but I saw your NYE post about 2022 being the year you wrote for the first time as an adult???

that's fucking amazing! YOU are fucking amazing!!! 💖 your writing is so visceral and heartfelt, I feel like my eyes can't keep up when I read it bc it's just so good UGH 😭

I know I'm just an internet stranger, but as someone who can relate to choosing to write again as an adult, I want you to know I'm so very proud of and overjoyed for you

your writing inspires me and makes me so damn happy, so I hope 2023 brings you just as much, if not MORE happiness and inspiration 💕🥰✨

This made me feel so fucking happy and so seeeeeen thank you 😭❤️ I’m gonna try to respond without like… too much tmi but I’m really terrible with that so just a heads up sorry if I’m awkward.

I turned 30 last year (will be turning 31 soooon) and I think through some combination of that and getting to a (relatively) good place with mental health has really allowed me to be myself again. The feedback I receive about my writing seriously makes me want to bawl because I feel like I’ve finally found something that I really love doing. Then to understand that people actually enjoy it?? Blows my goddamn mind.

And then like… being here in the tumblr is a space for me to finally be a fucking nerd about stuff and that rules, honestly.

Thank you so much. I’m so happy you’re writing as an adult, too!! Creativity and artistic expression is such an important part of the human experience. I’m proud of you, too ❤️❤️

#ask response

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smokeybrandreviews · 1 year

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Steady As She Goes

We’ve entered the lean times for Azur Lane updates. It’s Lunar New Year and, being a Chinese game, the staff is off for the holiday. That means content has been fee and far in-between. That hasn’t stopped Manjuu and Yostar from dropping a pretty solid event to commemorate the season. Now, i generally don’t go for these particular events because they are very much Chinese focused and i don’t have any attachment to my Dragon Empery dock so these last few weeks have been basically me cleaning house, shoring up other docks, and focusing on the grind. That said, i have made strides in a bunch of different aspect of my game so this is kind of just an update post.

The Happy Lunar New Year event was whatever. I mean, i participated with everything so, you know, i unlocked the majority of Accumulation ships that were available. I made a run at the banner and unlocked both Super Rare offerings pretty early. Like, immediately. On my first roll. Theseus was kind of a bonus, i wasn’t really trying to get her, but having Kuybyshev tumble right after was everything. A few days later, on routine roll for my Dailys, i popped Hwah Jah but, like, who cares? I’ve decided to focus on my Northern Parliament dock now that i am all caught up with the Iron Blood so the only ship i actually needed was Kuybyshev. My darling Deutsche always take priority but, since i only have to focus on new KMS events, (I'll get to that full update in a minute) i opted for the Ruskies as the next focus. After the Krauts, their aesthetic is my favorite in the game. I am a sucker for ice and dragons so that entire Fleet is right up my alley. Plus, i am lousy with Chkalov Blueprints so it makes sense. I’m actually finished with er construction at this point, all that’s left is the grind for those goddamn Experience points. Everything else has been completed so, once i finish my current Iron Blood grind, I'll let those Russian boats have some time in the waters.

Speaking of Iron Blood, I've come A LONG way since last i checked in. All of my SR ships are max level, in every way, with the exception of those subs. However, with the advent of the new Seasonal Cruise, i was able to max two of them to 125! Subs are a b*tch to accumulate Experience with so the fact that i have all of them topped off for the immediate level up once i get enough Cognitive Chips to do so, is a miracle. My hard, arduous, work has given me the opportunity to add U-47 and U-96 to the ranks of my 125 battalion. On top of that, the Cruise has made a massive dent in my pursuit of Rainbow Priority V Blueprints. I already has enough to complete Fried’s newly added Fate Simulation so the focus has been on Aegir this entire time. I am eighty-seven away from maxing out her own Fate Simulation, whenever that sh*t decides to drop. Speaking of Aegir, her new costume, Golden Dragon Among Auspicious Clouds, is f*cking awesome! That sh*t hits all of the notes, beautifully. It also helps that she’s animated in all the right places. Also, Prinz Rupprecht's new duds are adorable, too. The second i saw that The Gate Dragon's Advent cheongsam, i needed. So i got it. That means all my Prinz girls have an Live 2D costume so you know i am all in a tizzy about it!

All in all, the first few weeks of 2023 have been mildly eventful for me on the Azur Lane front. Love the Friedrich update. Love the new costumes for Rupprecht and Aegir. Definitely enjoyed adding a brand new Northern Parliament boat to my dock. I am pleased with my overall progress in terms of KMS development and always love a brand new Seasonal Cruise release. Seriously, it’s been a day and I'm already at fifty-two. Ya by don’t f*ck around with them sh*ts, man. They are too rich in treasure not to. While i don’t give two sh*ts abut the Dragon Empery in any form, i am glad to see they are getting a bit of love. I actually have all of the available ships for ROCN and didn’t actually know it. Like, I'm missing Harbin and that’s it. F*cking ridiculous, man. I’m an accidental completionist over here. Still, it’s been a productive few weeks since i last checked in and i am okay with that. Hopefully, we won’t have a KMS or SN event for a few months. I need to stockpile my Cubes and Finishers again. That eighty build mission hurt the pockets, man.

#Azur Lane #Dragon Empery #Northern Parliament #Happy Lunar New Year 2023

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ericleo108 · 1 year

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05/05/2023 Click here for Spotify, Apple Music, or Youtube. “God Damn” is my 42nd official release. This song is more party rap that is supposed to be played when having a good time. This is more about the rap game. The song is a nod to Tyga and some of his hits. I really like Tyga’s song “Goddamn” which is the inspiration for this track. I wanted to write something that sounded like I belonged in the music industry and this is what I came up with. This is probably the first time I’m talking about global warming in a song. I made a deal with myself that if I made club hits, I would talk about the effects of global warming. This is an example of that.

This was recorded, mixed, and mastered by Sam Peters at La Luna recordings in Kalamazoo Michigan. The beat is from Keyano, and the cover art is made by ArtworkGang from Fiverr.

You can see me talk about this blog post from my last Sunday Update here:

youtube

Lyrics:

I feel like Tyga cuz they like “goddamn” But I got that flow like Will I Am This is hip-hop, get got, seriously I’m a simple man Just want you to spin it up and remember me like scribble jam See it's me but they doubt I’m a rider I eat the booty like groceries I got from Meijer They questioning, but I got that fire You can see from this beat that I ain’t a liar I’m like a treasure in the region No matter what the season I got that feelin Could give’em a reason Been write’n every day, the budget hard to pay But every month you got a new song to play

If it don’t come to me then I move on If I’m feel’n the beat, you can bet it becomes a new song Addicted to blue cheese, gorgonzola, and gouda She like BDSM, I’m an astronaut, so suit up And take off in that pussy, get that real goodie goodie If I ever get money, I’ll get fronts like Goldie It’s spiritual will to keep yourself in one piece Stay sharp, stay clean, take care of your teeth Still a dope fiend, I’m hoping coping and focusing, Will help me keep away from the coding Cuz forget addiction, I’m way too busy, Building my momentum, making music my business You know I like that grill, and the charm be working Lyric chess on ice, I got that curling I got that buzz, these birds all chirping When it get wet, feel like I’m surfing

I’m fresh as sprite, (what) get that hype So real and leavy, the message mine (yep) I’m fresh as Sprite, (what) get that hype So real and leavy, the message mine (yep)

Buy products that are complimentary to the environment You vote with your money and what you buy design the bid The next shipment of materials needs to be sustainable Efficiency, logistics, think it's ascertainable Love’em now, run’em down, until they embrace it Double down, double-dutch, hit’em in the face with it Jump rope with lyrics, I hope you hear this So fly like leer jet, or tree with a bees nest I check the hull, set goals, and take off I feel like Quavo the way it gon’ pay off I am the blueprint you can call me a genome And the rhyming pattern Offset like Migos Tell me where the keg at, tap that, and have a swig Let my tape pop til my tracks get really big Invested in these raps, so put it in your playlist So I can make it stack like rack rack city bitch

#rap #rapper #hiphop #new music #michigan #usa #lyrics

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bloodpen-to-paper · 1 year

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Oscars 2023, Presented By Me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE AWARDS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Off the bat I went into this kinda sour cause I consider Jordan Peele's Nope to be one of last year's best movies for literally every category you can think of (I'll link my post on this here when I finish it) and the fact that it wasn't even nominated just kinda made me uninterested in the Academy's picks, but hey I watched it anyway so here we go

-The Whale has a lot of discourse surrounding it regarding fatphobia and appropriation; I will say that I am very proud of Brendan Fraser for getting the Best Actor win (seriously this man has been through a lot in the industry) and I acknowledge the talent that went into the makeup and hairstyle (which The Whale won the award for), but I agree that there needed to be more consideration around portrayals of morbidly obese people in a movie where they were... clearly not using actual obese people. Yeah. Anyway

-EEAAO won! Like everything! They swept the ceremony with wins in Leading Actress, Supporting Actor and Supporting Actress, Writing (Original Screenplay), Film Editing, and Best Picture! Ok so lemme break this down:

I know I'll get crucified for this or whatever but I was hoping Kate Blanchett would win Best Actress cause I loved her performance in Tár, but Michelle Yeoh was definitely deserving of the win, and it makes me very happy to see older women in the industry beating back the misogyny around Hollywood's aging policy by winning these kinds of awards

Ke Huy Quan, oh what to say about this man. 8 year old me had a crush on him in The Goonies, and I'm so proud of him for springing back so strongly despite his hardships. His acceptance speech was the most emotional I got all night (didn't help that Harrison Ford presented his award to him, I am being personally attacked-)

I love Jamie Lee Curtis, and I was very happy for her win (and anyone who gives her hate for winning is goddamn annoying and not achieving anything other than putting down someone who doesn't deserve it). Having said that, yeah definitely not the best decision giving the only white person in the cast an award for a role that was no where near as important as Stephanie Hsu's role (as well as Angela Bassett's in Wakanda Forever). Feel free to call out the Academy for their shit distribution system at any point

At this point I have yet to see EEAAO, but from what I can see the editing and creativity behind the visuals was insane so good for them for winning in those categories, as well as Best Picture

Loved the energy of the directors, and it was nice that this movie about the Asian diaspora experience not only told their story for all to see, but did a lot for the queer community as well (shout out to the co-director for calling out transphobia and the new anti-drag wave with no hesitation, we stan)

-India came out swinging with a win for "Naatu Naatu" in Best Original Song and The Elephant Whispers for Best Documentary Short Film, Desi folks have been wanting to share their media for eons so I'm very proud for them and can't wait to see more in the future

-The acceptance speech for Best Documentary called Putin the hell out, and the people behind it are still fighting to get Alexei Navalny out of prison; it was bold considering the Oscars are "non political", but speaking out against dictators locking up innocent people should never have been considered political in the first place so good for them

-Angela Bassett holding Austin Butler's hand when Best Actor was being announced 😭

-Who the fuck sold their soul for All Quiet on the Western Front to win all those goddamn technical awards (seriously they won nine. NINE. This movie was a REMAKE. How is Hollywood still so obsessed with 'white man in the trenches' type movies)

-Honestly I would've been sad no matter which movie won Best Animated cause this year's contenders were all SO strong (I watched more movies in this category than I ever have, that should show how good they were). I still wish Wendell and Wild had been nominated (Me? Having a Jordan Peele bias? Blasphemous). With Pinocchio's win, I'm glad that stop motion animation is getting appreciated (which Wendel and Wild totally doesn't have *cough cough* you totally shouldn't watch Wendel and Wild on Netflix *cough cough*). Personally, I wanted Sea Beast to win; it was a highly underrated movie with a black girl lead that was not only very diverse in their people of color and female characters, but also had a strong anti-colonialist theme about how history is written by the winner, and we must be critical of how we analyze the material we consume about the past (its also essentially a love letter to pirates; it shows more accuracy in accents, people and lifestyles surrounding actual pirates than most pirate media, seriously ITS ON NETFLIX, GO WATCH IT)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE CEREMONY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Moving on to the Oscar production itself, lets start with the host... I didn't care about the host. Moving on- (ok genuinely it wasn't the worst but I can't help but feel like the Oscar awards ceremony used to be funnier and now we just have Jimmy Kimmel making non-stop Slap jokes and asking Malala, the Taliban survivor, about Spitgate while a dude dressed as Cocaine Bear crawls around on the ground, what in the fuck happened to the Oscars lmao)

-Is it just me or did the Oscars go very quickly? The pacing was much faster than I remember, they spent less time building suspense for announcements, and moved onto new segments like they were in a rush. Not sure if its for practical reasons or cause of this new era of needing to get information out as quickly as possible (short attention spans and what not) but it really stood out to me this season

-We got an official trailer for live action The Little Mermaid and... god it was so weird, Disney is one of the biggest entertainment monopolies in the world HOW CAN THEY NOT AFFORD BETTER CGI (the under water scenes just don't look right and its taking me out) but uh congrats to Halle Bailey I guess?

-Harrison Ford is old as hell but he's out there putting his whole Fordussy into announcing the awards (also his voice is really fucking soothing for some reason, just close your eyes and listen to his announcement segment like??? free ASMR right there)

-They brought a donkey on stage. That's it that's the post. There was donkey.

-Ana de Armas looked gorgeous. Yes I am dedicating a part in this post to point this out

-So did Janelle Monáe. I really like Janelle Monáe. Anyways

-Ariana DuBose's voice cracking when she announced Best Supporting Actor like we do not deserve this woman and neither does the Academy

-Everyone in the crowd would cheer very loudly whenever EEAAO or Wakanda Forever won anything lmao they knew who deserved the awards and they were VOCAL

-When Michelle Yeoh made her acceptance speech I swear to god I have never seen the crowd that well behaved and hyped. They would cheer so loud and as soon as it looked like Michelle was gonna speak they were SILENT, and when she was done they were right back to roaring like it was so funny and very nice to watch

-Michael Jordan saying "Hi Auntie. We love you" to Angela Bassett was so sweet I'm gonna cry

-I'm a cinema history nerd so I was very invested in Michael B. Jordan and Jonathan Majors teaching me about how in old cinema when they wanted certain camera angles, they'd have to get a stage that rises up and sinks down and prop the camera on that cause there didn't used to be pulley systems for cameras and I thought it was cool :]

-Lady Gaga's voice is so fucking smooth even on a mic, how does she do it

-Andrew Garfield morphing into the physical manifestation of "photogenic" when Jimmy Kimmel shouted him out oml

-Having Halle Berry, the first woman of color to receive a Best Actress award, presenting Michelle Yeoh's award as the first Asian to win Best Actress is that one Gaga meme (this the one https://www.glossy.co/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2022/09/gaga.jpeg)

-Pedro Pascal and Elizabeth Olsen duo announcing and Andrew Garfield and Florence Pugh duo announcing and Paul Dano and Julia Louis-Dreyfus then Salma Hayek and Antonio Banderas (Latines ftw) and Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt's funny backstage photos and Melissa McCarthy and Brian Tyree Henry's announcing best costume and with their over-the-top glorious outfits and Miss Cara MF Delevingne and THE Zoe Saldana like were they TRYING to kill me with these announcers? (For context: they are hot, and beloved. Thank you for listening.)

-Speaking of Pedro Pascal... what the fuck was he doing there lmao? The finale of the fucking Last of Us aired DURING THE AWARD CEREMONY and he just pops up at the Oscars like he doesn't have somewhere to be lmao what an icon

-Loved seeing Harry Shum Jr. doing the moonwalk and carrying James Hong during the after party

-Stephanie Hsu going up on stage to perform "This Is a Life" when she came in as a crowd member nominee like the range this woman has

-"Naatu Naatu" live performance was the performance highlight of the Oscars, I don't care come at me I can fight (also the mental image of old white people at this awards ceremony seeing Bollywood style dance and song for the first time is so fucking funny to me like they thought the Encanto performance with Meghan Thee Stallion last year would be the end of it but NOPE)

-Overall, this year was not too crazy (the pain of Amy Schumer hosting mixed with The Slap can never be out-crazied tbh), Jimmy Kimmel was Jimmy Kimmel, and I'd say the highlights were in the EEAAO wins and the music performances. Its the Oscars, nothing more to say

#random thoughts #oscars #oscars 2023 #academy awards #academy awards 2023 #thanks for reading #lemme know what you think!#review

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smokeybrand · 1 year

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Steady As She Goes

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magsgoestocollege · 4 years

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Plans for 2020-2021 School Year

Long post ahead (something to help me process and decide my future)

If you’re new to this blog, hi, I’m Mags and I’m supposed to be a sophomore in college this year. Except my college experience got corona’d, obviously, so now we’re here.

A couple days ago, my school announced that first years and sophomores would be allowed back in the fall, and juniors and seniors would be allowed back in the spring if all goes well. The problem is I have no fucking clue what I want to do. I go to a small liberal arts college where the experience is heavily rooted in the people there. Our classes and houses are small, and we value the community above most things. With only half the campus back, and with the first years who have never been here before and us the sophomores who only got like 2/3s of a year on campus. We have no clue what we’re doing.

My class can’t be responsible for educating and helping an entire batch of new kids adjust to college life when we aren’t fully adjusted ourselves. Campus and house and club traditions are so important to our cschool culture and my class has no clue how to do them. That being said I am always Mom Friend(TM) and will absolutely take any and all first years under my wing if I go back to campus because I was super lonely last year and I don’t want anyone to feel that way again. (Check out #the dark side of college tag if you wan’t to read about that.) But the thing is... I don’t know if I want to go back to school this year.

Do I really want to go spend a year and thousands of dollars on a college experience I don’t really want? Do I want to be in a place that’s now structured like a prison for three-ish months only to be send home at the end to keep doing online classes? Do I want to be at a school where I cant see my friends? Do I want to be at a school without my upperclassmen friends who I care about and were so influential to my experience?

With only first-years on campus (and some sophomore friends), I’d end up essentially having to start my social life from scratch again. I don’t know if I can handle that. Even if COVID is a major bonding item for the whole campus. It comes down to would I rather take time off and hope things get better and we get a vaccine, or do I want to go and be on campus for a few months and be part of a historical event that metaphorically unites the school while literally dividing us.

Here are my options:

1) Go to school in the fall, be online for a month after Thanksgiving, and do my whole spring semester online (or maybe possibly in person if things get much better.)

2) Go to school in the fall semester and take the spring semester off.

3) Study remotely but not from home.

4) Take a full year off and come back 2021-2022 with hopefully a vaccine and a more normal college experience with the things I love.

4a) Take a year off and still live at home with my parents.

4b) Take a year off and move in with friends somewhere else.

Let’s break these down, shall we? (God I don’t want to.)

Option 1. Go to school in the fall. This means: reregistering for all my classes, being assigned to a new room in possibly a new house (latter is unlikely), and having part in-person part remote classes. Profs have the choice of being partially in person or fully online. It is suspected that most profs will go fully online because it’s easier to teach to the students who are still remote (mostly juniors and seniors). So living on-campus would basically be just that: living. I’d most likely end up taking online classes from my dorm room.

Everyone has a single so no need to worry about roommates, and they’re limiting the number of people on a floor to limit the number of people sharing a bathroom. All communal areas will be sanitized twice a day in the house, and as often as possible everywhere else. Masks and social distancing at all times, no more than two people in a dorm room at once, and COVID testing for everyone as often as twice a week. for meals, you pre-order on an app and pick up a grab n go container at a scheduled time to go eat it elsewhere. We don’t find out what classes will even be offered until after we commit.

I think I’ll be randomly assigned to a room, so that doesn’t really matter and I should stay in my house. Just first-years and sophomores means few house traditions. However, it gives me a chance to feel needed and goddamn if that’s not an addictive feeling. I’m excellent at planning social activities and fostering community. I think I could really help the first years adjust and help everyone adapt to the situation. I like the idea of this being a very uniting experience, living through history doesn’t happen every day. My dad agrees with this and thinks I should go basically just to say that I did. I agree.

But I don’t want to do something just because someone thinks I should. I need to make this choice because it’s what I want. I’m really struggling to separate doing what I want to because I want to and doing it because I think it’s what society wants me to do.

I’d get to see some of my friends, but not all of them. Plus, if people take time off I won’t see them and then when they get back I’l have to leave them. On the flip side, if people take time off and I do too, I’ll see them when we get back like no time passed. (Not really but like you get it.)

If I go, I won’t get to do theatre which is the thing I live for at school. I’d still get to do work with the theatre department, and arguably I’d be able to do a lot more work because the upperclassmen won’t be there so I’ll get to do more hands-on work. But my musical theatre org, the reason I’m still at my school, where all of my closest friends are won’t really exist. We can do cabaret or something but we can’t do a full show. I can’t direct anymore. I haven’t even had time to grieve the loss of my show. Do I take a gap year just to have the chance to do more shows? Logically speaking, the longer I wait to enter the theatre industry the more time it has to recover and the more jobs will be open.

A lot of juniors and seniors are planning on renting somewhere near campus so they might be able to slip into in person classes, but that kinda defeats the purpose because they’re not social distancing. However, this means some of my friends will be nearby during the fall. And one of my junior friends will be on campus in the fall for work. In the spring, the sophomores and first-years will take over leases in the spring.

Option 2. Not a great option. I’d have to be a J-term grad which is fine, but I’d miss out on all the spring traditions and I don’t really like that idea. I wouldn’t have to do online classes though. This is what a lot of people are doing. Some juniors and seniors are taking fall off and going in the spring.

Option 3. If I’m going to have to do online classes part of me wants to do it with other students somewhere I can enjoy myself. Maybe I’ll go live in the woods and do Zoom classes from my cottage. I don’t know. Or I could go live off campus so I can still feel like I’m near my friends but not take classes. Kind of like a bonus year but without the online courses. But this would mean having to learn how to live on my own with only a bare safety net, but I wouldn’t be alone.

Option 4. The only other option I’m very seriously considering. Taking a full gap year. I really don’t want to, but unless I want to be a mid-year grad or have to take at least some online classes, this is the best option. I’ve talked to some friends about maybe renting somewhere either near campus or elsewhere but I don’t know how I’d work out the logistics. I’ve never lived on my own before, and I’m not a great cook but I could learn. We’re only semi-seriously considering fucking off into the middle of nowhere and living my cottagecore dreams with some friends.

This would mean I would become class of 2024 instead of 2023, but I would get the chance to at least try and have a “normal” college experience on campus. The problem is, I don’t know if things will be better in a year, or two years, or five. So will I just “waste” - for lack of a better term - a year hoping we’ll have a vaccine?

I don’t know what I’ll do for a year. I can’t really work, I can’t really get an internship, I can’t travel. Do I stay at home? Do I get an apartment off-campus? Somewhere else?

At the same time, I don’t know if I want to be on a campus without my friends and the clubs and experience that I’ve loved. The other part of me wants to be part of history and worries that we just won’t get better for years and I’ll just be stuck stagnant. Another part of me still wants to be unique and a little selfish and take the gap year so I don’t have to be the guinea pig for this weird online hybrid program.

My mom always said she wished she took a gap year before starting college. Maybe I should take this chance. But I’d miss the few friends that I get to see unless I was living with them. Even if I still do online classes, I don’t want to take them from home, which my parents probably won’t like. I know they’ll support me, but it would still be cheaper to live with them and I don’t know if that’s something I want.

I just don’t know.

#college #college life #student #studyblr #uni #magsgoestocollege #student life #college student #high school #mags gets corona'd

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alkja · 5 years

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Well, here we come: Endgame review (spoilers galore)

Endgame is essentially two different movies for me: the one up until the last three minutes and the one that includes those last three minutes.

The first is a decent movie – riddled with stupid crap, plot holes and the occasional nonsense, but on the whole acceptable.

The second is a waterfall of crap that makes me seethe in anger.

If you liked that ending, I seriously discourage you from keeping on reading. Otherwise, let us discuss the good, the bad, the wtf and the “How dare you?”

THE “DID YOU EVEN TRY THINKING ABOUT THIS” DIVISION

Let’s start with the inevitable: time shenanigans equal inevitable fuckery. That is known.

The most egregious example being: Nebula kills her younger self and is apparently fine and dandy. What the shit? I don’t care if you killed her in 2023 (or whenever Endgame happens, I’m going with Infinity War happening in 2018 as released), if Nebula 2014 dies there is no Nebula 2015 and so on to eventually become Nebula 2023. Ergo, she should absolutely have died. Same with Thanos & Co. No matter where you do it, if you kill a past version of someone, there is no one to do the things they would have done in the future. Thanos 2014 dies, so there cannot be a Thanos from after that to do the Snap.

Which is not bad, go ahead and kill past versions of evil shits, but doing so changes the timeline. Period. Rodhey even proposed that and they had a long nerd out about why that would not be possible... and then they went and did that and pretended it didn’t count. That is so goddamn stupid.

Same with all the time travel.

I don’t care if you go and put the Infinity Stones back, because those stupid McGuffins are not the only thing that can mess the timeline. First of all, there is no one to use them anyway since Thanos died before he did the Snap, but we’re supposed to ignore that.

More to the point, in order to put the timeline to right, you have to put the Stones back after the future Avengers have stolen them. Fine, that puts them back in the timeline. However, that doesn’t erase the actions your slightly-past selves have taken trying to grab them. Which means, for example, that Loki fucking escaped with the Tesseract after Avengers 1, which is a MAJOR change.

Or, it should be. But apparently we’re supposed to ignore that because in the Dark World time Loki is in his cell, and wow. NO. If he escapes in Avengers 1 (with the Tesseract to boot), that leads to massive changes in Dark World and Ragnarok. For one thing, without the Tesseract, the Bifrost cannot be repaired. More essential to those plots, Loki should plainly not be there.

Putting the sceptre back also doesn’t erase the fact that Captain America said “Heil Hydra” to a Hydra agent (oh oh oh, such canny comic references!), who apparently never mentioned it again to anyone ever? Not even to his goddamn boss? So, did Sitwell legitimately think Steve was Hydra up until Winter Soldier? And yet come Winter Soldier he never thought to ask Steve “Wait, even if you’re not actually Hydra, you clearly knew about us for years, so why are you now so outraged like this is brand new information for you? Why did it take you this long to move against us and why are you doing it without much in the way of planning or allies? The hell did you do these past years?”

Hell, why did Sitwell – a prominent Hydra agent in SHIELD who would not raise any flags doing so – never approach Steve, Hydra agent to Hydra agent? No, he discovers that Captain America is apparently Hydra and just rolls with it. No “What the hell, sir?” call to Pierce, no secret handshake to Steve. For years. I can handwave him not saying anything to Rumlow and the rest of Strike, because if Steve is Hydra maintaining his deep cover with everyone is more important than anything (even if they were right there when he gave him the scepter, so what did he say to them?), but not mentioning it to Pierce? Cannot buy that. And not having any mention of that in Winter Soldier is pretty damn unbelievable.

The timeline was also changed by having future!Steve fight past!Steve. And no, it doesn’t matter that past!Steve thought it was Loki. It was still a change.

Not to mention, Loki could not have had a Peggy compass or known shit about Bucky, so it stands to reason it’s not Loki. So, what gives? What did past!Steve think it happened? Hell, come Winter Soldier what did he think about that time some guy who looked and fought like himself told him that Bucky was alive and lo and behold, here comes Buckaroo?

In essence, the Avengers fucked the timeline without lube but we’re supposed to pretend they didn’t.

To me, that is shit.

Mess with time all you like, but acknowledge you’re doing so. Either your plan goes off without a hitch (as if!), or the moment where everything goes inevitably to hell and there are changes - and here we are talking about major changes - you say fuck it, pull out all the stops and change away.

[Ok, I admit it, by that I mostly mean: pull out all the stops, take 5 minutes to explain to your past self you come from the future and tell him to get his ass in gear because Hydra is literally running the government and SHIELD and most importantly Bucky has been frozen, tortured and brainwashed for about 70 years, so get to it, save Bucky Bear save the world, and smash Nazis like the fucking Hulk. May the fic gods, as ever, be kinder to me than the canon ones.]

This “pretend nothing has changed even while we change important stuff that should logically have repercussions” approach only works if you think your audience has the reasoning capabilities of concussed goldfishes. Tony’s last bout of genius solving time travel on the fly deserved better than this.

(Also, good luck trying to sell me on any future conflict stakes when our heroes now have the capabilities of fucking going back in time and change things, even if you don’t want to admit it.)

In the “this is so dumb and nonsensical and wow look at those strings” camp, we also have the two Nebulas being connected. That is so stupid and clearly only there for the sake of plot you can literally see the writers going “Uhm... how can we make it so past!Thanos knows what the heroes are doing? What if we make it so past!Nebula gets the memories of future!Nebula from a galaxy away? How? Why? Because!”

Riveting.

About as riveting as the Thor stuff. Here you can see the writers desperately wracking their brain wondering “But how are we gonna have dumb jokes in a serious movies? Where will we go for cheap, juvenile humor? I know! Let’s make Thor a drunk idiot with a beer belly! Oh oh oh, what could be more funny than a parade of fat jokes, we’re comedic geniuses!”

Yawn. Also, offensive much? But really, everything about Thor spits in the face of his three movies long character arc (which was all about responsibility): dudes, do you even know the characters you’re writing about?

Speaking of desperation: no Steve and Bucky reunion post UnSnapping? Seriously? We have Tony and Peter - who have known each other for 5 minutes - tearfully embrace but no scene between two characters who have known each other all their lives and have been through massive shit in those lives? Marvel execs, we know that every time Steve and Bucky shared a scene The Dreadful Spectre of The GAY appeared and made your blood pressure rise but this is ridiculous.

Which is also why you get no cookie for The First Gay Character in the franchise: an unnamed character in a single blink-and-you’ll-miss-it scene, truly stellar representation. What made you believe this was a smart move?

That said, there are some good things in this movie.

THE “I DIDN’T NECESSARILY WANT THIS BUT I CAN ACCEPT YOU DID IT. ALSO, OUCH: MY HEART” DIVISION

First of all, Tony Stark.

Never thought I’d say that, because I’m the furthest thing from a Tony fan and spent all of Ultron and Civil War wanting to punch him. And Infinity War being indifferent to him.

But goddamn if I didn’t feel how goddamn much he adored Pepper and their daughter. Goddamn if I didn’t tear up at his heroic sacrifice, going out with the line that started it all (“I am Iron Man”- my heart), goddamn if I didn’t tear up at his goodbye with Pepper and then at his funeral.

For all his many, many faults – which I’m not gonna forget for a second – Tony went out exactly as he should be: a goddamn hero. With a heart big enough, strong enough to give himself up for everyone else even at the moment where he had everything he ever wished to have.

My hat’s off to him.

Never thought I’d ever say this, but I will miss him.

Other MVPs of Endgame: Clint Motherfucking Barton and Natasha “Love is NOT for Children” Romanoff. I know: Natasha, sure, but who would ever have guessed that about Clint? Prior to Endgame, he was just sort of there, not helped by Ultron and his sudden family in a farm.

Endgame managed to make me care about the family I loathed. How? I don’t know, but I am totally down for a Clint + Kate Bishop + Lila show, where everyone is a badass archer and they are all codenamed Hawkeye just because! I am also totally down for Clint’s badass reinvention (after, I’m guessing, mainlining all 7 seasons of Arrow), no matter how heartbreaking the reason or questionable the style choices.

And that Clintasha scene was pretty much worth the whole movie to me.

Because, first of all, that’s how you solve a problem like the Soul Stone: a willing sacrifice. (Which, btw, makes even more disgusting the fact that we are supposed to see this as equally worthy to Thanos murdering his daughter).

Second, because I am a total sucker for characters fighting about who gets to sacrifice themselves. Clint and Natasha beating the crap out of each other just like in Avengers 1 (just one of many delightful callbacks that pepper the movie), this time because they love each other too much to let the other be the one to die is everything.

Third, because it’s just a really good scene, based on one of the better relationships in the MCU. Even those not shipping Clintasha have no doubt that those two are extremely important to one another, and Renner and Johannson acted the hell out of it - just as they did every scene together, from their reunion post-yakuza slaughter, to the giddiness of flying a spaceship. I teared up like a baby at Nat’s sacrifice and I was right there with Clint hoping for a loophole that made it so we could get Nat back and was heartbroken anew when that did not come to pass.

But, again, the Black Widow went out just like she should have: a true hero, loving, strong and unafraid. The red in her ledger was wiped out once and for all.

The “Feels” subdivision

Scott Lang was an integral part of the solution. I mean, never before have we heard about time passing differently in the quantum realm – and in fact Janet Van Dyne aged the 30 years she spent in it, so more plot service crap – but who cares! Still, his desperate checking to see if his daughter was among the Snapped only to find his own name and running like hell to get to Cassie only to be suddenly confronted with a teenager and realizing he missed those 5 years with her and not caring because she was still there was absolutely perfect.

Speaking of families: I have already said it but Tony and Pepper and little Morgan were amazing.

Also, Thor and Frigga! Frigga was an egregious fridging to start with, so it was lovely seeing her again, but especially giving her a wonderful scene with her son that shows her intelligence and strength and exactly why she was Queen of Asgard. Not to mention being the one to restore Thor’s confidence and absolving him of his failures. Sometimes you just really, really need your mom. (Too bad about that stupid salad joke.)

Natasha and Steve. Just... Natasha and Steve being badly messed up by those 5 years post-Snap and yet being so supportive and understanding of each other. Really, after Winter Soldier, this was the best Natasha movie. And rightly so.

In general, the Avengers being not just a team but also friends, fucking finally. Sure, there is the whole “found family-baited” post going around, but memes aside, it is true that we never got to see those people acting like friends and not merely co-workers. Was that so difficult to do before the very last moment?

THE “IN HERE FOR THE HOLY SHIT QUOTIENT” DIVISION

A small but admirable moment for a villain that was otherwise pretty underwhelming no matter how much they tried passing him off as deep: Thanos having the smarts and the metaphorical stones to goddamn destroy the Infinity Stones. Better to accept never using them himself again than run the risk of someone stealing them and undo his work. He may be evil and incapable of properly understanding the concept of proportions (that whole: if you destroy half of the resources along with half of the people using said resources, you are just as screwed as before), but the guy is smart.

Carol was as amazing as she could be in a movie that by design could not be about her kicking Thanos’s ass up and down the whole galaxy but was necessarily the Last Hooray of the Old Guard. Her face seeing Fury among the Snapped, her entrance and towing a fucking spaceship, her pointing out that while the Avengers have been watching (with mixed results) over a single planet she was watching over a lot of them (likely with better results), her second entrance, her goddamn everything. Not as good as her solo movie but what could ever be?

Speaking of ladies, Valkyrie becoming a Literal Queen warms my heart. I have some doubts about Thor just up and leaving what remains of his people, even after everything (read: I don’t buy it, just like I don’t buy anything about Thor in this movie), but considering Heimdall is not around anymore, we can all agree he left them in excellent, badass hands. I want more.

Switching to metaphorical Valkyries... It was a fanservice-y, mostly unearned scene in a series that has historically been pretty low in female friendships or relationships, but goddamn if the optics of all the badass ladies of the MCU banding together weren’t made of FUCKYEAH! Give us a ladies-led movie, Marvel, you fucking cowards: DC is giving us the Birds of Prey (and Harley Quinn), what’s your excuse?

In that vein: Pepper donning an Iron Man armor! Basically everything I ever hoped for, so much so that for a moment I legitimately thought I had imagined it. Now that Tony is gone, let Pepper step up as Rescue or Iron Maiden or whatever, get her to mentor a bright intern named Riri Williams and we’re set to go for maximum awesomeness.

Still, when talking about maximum awesomeness: CAP. WIELDING. MJOLNIR. We Italians don’t have the habit of reacting to movies out loud at the theatre, but you could hear the current of FUCKYEAH!!! coming from all the nerds in the room, and rightly so. Cap fighting with the shield in one hand and Mjolnir in the other was everything every superhero fan could ever have wished for in a movie distilled into the Crowning Moment of Awesome to top all CMOAs. (Too bad this gets incredibly undermined by that ending beacuse I refuse to believe that that guy could be worthy of a fucking shoehorn, much less Mjolnir.)

Thor dual-wielding Mjolnir and Stormbreaker deserves a mention too.

(This as long as we forget Mjolnir being taken away to the future at the start of Dark World makes gaping holes in Ultron e Ragnarok, because past!Thor wouldn’t have it anymore, but whatever LALALALALA what time logic?)

But the moment that threatened to bring down the house in cheers was the sight of all the Unsnapped returning followed by - finally - the call: AVENGERS ASSEMBLE! Every single person visibly restrained themselves from punching the air and shouting along. I think we all regret not doing so, dignity be damned.

So, leaving aside the truck-sized plot holes that are practically a given once you decide to muck around with time travel and the occasional plot-over-character-or-sense stupidity, all in all we have a rather solid movie full of badass moments and with occasionally meaningful emotional beats.

Not my favorite by a long shot, but a mostly fitting end to an insane project no one ever thought could possibly be achieved that ended up sweeping the world and fandom.

Too bad those last five minutes arrive to shit all over that, and incidentally all over a beloved character.

THE “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU GODDAMNED HACKS” DIVISION

Steve – I must suppose SERIOUSLY concussed during the battle to the point of brain damage beyond the repairing capabilities of the superserum – returns the Infinity Stones to the past and, while he’s at it, decides to abscond in the same past to live his life with Peggy, only returning as an old man to pass the shield to Sam.

Awwwwwwwwww... Steve and Peggy living their life together, so heartwarming...

Yeah, except once you think about it, then you want to use that shield to fucking brain the skrull that must be impersonating Steve Rogers.

Because, in order to buy this story, we have to believe that Steve “I don’t like bullies” Rogers, Steve “If I see a situation pointed south, I can't ignore it” Rogers, Steve “On va voir” Rogers, Steve “I can do this all day” Rogers deliberately chose to spend the rest of his fucking life doing exactly nothing, otherwise the timeline would have been SERIOUSLY rebooted.

A life of inaction, hiding the fact of his existence.

Sure, that totally sounds like the Steve Rogers we have been watching up until this point.

Instead of an ending about moving forward no matter what life throws at you, we got one about happiness being literally going backwards.

Because that’s a totally healthy message.

Hell, you decide to go the retirement route, I don’t even necessarily disagree with it. If, after all the trauma of Infinity War + the five years interlude + the shitstorm of Endgame, Steve decided to lay aside the shield for a while and try to make an actual, functional life for himself I would have been all for it. If nothing else, the guy could make do with a lot of therapy. Most crucially, not being Captain America would not mean quitting the fight: he could do just as much good as an artist, a politician, an opinion leader, an activist or what have you. All that is not gonna be possible in the past, because to mantain the timeline he cannot become anyone relevant in any way. Especially since he knows Hydra is still around and attracting notice would mean risking some of that attention coming from them. So no, absconding to the past means by necessity a life not fighting in any way, not doing anything of any particular importance whatsoever.

This is completely antithetical to everything that Steve Rogers, as he was shown up until now, stands for.

And we have yet to touch the morality of it all, or the lack thereof.

Lest I get accused of being a bitter Stucky shipper whose slash goggles cannot make her appreciate a Steggy ending, let me point out that I ship Steggy as much as Stucky and if anything I am a bitter Peggy Carter fangirl: Our Kick-Ass Lady of the No Holds Barred Beatdown unquestionably deserves better than this crap.

By which, I’m not even talking about how this ending shits all over the closure we got before and the entirety of the Agent Carter run, which both show that while Peggy unquestionably loved Steve, she mourned him for a while and then, as healthy people do, moved on to have a perfectly fulfilling life with a rewarding job and eventually a new love and family. I’m not even talking about how this takes her back the “Steve Rogers’ Love Interest” route, Betty Carver-style, instead of letting her be her own woman with her own story that may have started alongside Steve Rogers but then developed on her own terms. I’m not talking about how she was rewinded from a character in her own right to a “hero’s” prize.

I’m talking about how this supposed happy ending to slow dancing and snuggling is based on either Peggy being apparently also brain damaged to the point that, upon hearing that the organization she’s busting her ass to run is a Nazi cesspool, just rolls with it - which, I think we can all agree, is definitely not something our Agent Carter would ever in a million years do - or Steve merrily electing to spend something like 50 years lying like a motherfucker to the supposed love of his life about how the organization she’s busting her ass to run is a Nazi cesspool. True love, everyone!

Fuck you: Peggy Carter fucking deserved better than this.

This also leaving aside the fact that, in this happy ending, Steve knows that while he’s squirreled away in the woods dancing and doing decoupage, his supposed best friend is getting tortured to the point of complete dehumanization. But whatever, he’ll eventually be fine, no use doing anything about it. Oh, JFK got murdered? Nice shot, Buck! Oh, there goes Howard, a smooth operation, buddy: hope the brain-frying won’t be too bad, just hang on until 2014.

End of the line my goddamn ass.

Oh, and since no-one’s memories are rewritten, Bucky also conceivably knows all this. He knows that his supposed best friend voluntarily spent his life doing squat to save him.

Fuck you: Bucky Barnes fucking deserved better than this.

SO, TO RECAP: Steve Rogers is a selfish ass who chose a life of inaction, Peggy Carter is either his accomplice or a dupe and Bucky Barnes lost his best friend all over again. Coherent characterization got sacrificed for a theoretical feel-good moment that doesn’t stand up to the most cursory examination before being revealed as sheer horrifying fuckery.

Sure, Sam gets to be the new Captain America (which, don’t get me wrong: he totally deserves it and at this point he’s more worthy of it than the original), but that’s literally the only good thing in a mountain of shit dumped over characters that deserved much better.

I get that Evans wanted out, but there are ways to do it and then there are ways. Tony went out like a goddamn hero. So did Natasha.

Steve went out quitting - aka the one and only thing Steve Rogers would never ever do - and in addition what can only be called a bastard who shrugged off his best friend’s decades-long torture and quite likely spent his life lying to the woman he loves.

Fuck you: Steve Rogers fucking deserved better than this.

If there could be a worse impression to leave bowing out than this one, I’m honestly unable to imagine it (Well, beside making Steve Hydra for real: but considering that he spent his live blithely pretending they were not still around murdering, torturing and so on, that makes him a collaborationist at best and WOW, at this point it’s kinda splitting hairs, isn’t it?).

Coming into Endgame, I knew this was gonna be Cap’s last waltz and after spending years as a Steve Rogers fan I was dreading watching him die. Now, I wish he could have gone out with the heroism and dignity of Tony or Natasha instead of... whatever this was. I could have mourned him while celebrating him, instead of mourning what he used to be while despising what he was made to become.

This Steve Rogers fan, who spent years loving him while being annoyed and occasionally enraged by Tony Stark, left the theatre feeling deeply moved by Tony and quite honestly hating the guts of whatever was left of Steve. If someone told me this would happen I wouldn’t have believed them and yet here we are.

Personally, in order to actually enjoy the movie and especially to be able to retain any fondness whatsoever for one of my most beloved characters, those last five minutes are gonna join the entirety of Age of Ultron in the realm of “I recognise Marvel Studios have made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it”.

As far as I’m concerned, Endgame ended with Tony Stark’s funeral. A fitting tribute to the fallen hero who started it all, to the road that took us to this moment and all those characters who travelled it with us.

To the end of an era and hope for the next one.

#MCU #avengers endgame #not my steve rogers #endgame spoilers #steve rogers #tony stark #natasha romanoff #clint barton #review #rant #endgame wtf #epic fail

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initiala · 5 years

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There are Endgame spoilers abound under this cut. Please scroll past this post if you don’t want to read spoilers.

SPOILERS ARE COMING

THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO GET OUT BEFORE THE SPOILERS GET YOU

SERIOUSLY KEEP MOVING IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED

Natasha’s death was bullshit. Like I knew they sent her and Clint to get the Soul Stone because it’s Them and they’re partners until the end and they have this bond that makes it Literally Impossible to think of one willingly sacrificing the other, but you have Natasha “Trying To Keep Everyone’s Shit Together” Romanoff” versus Clint “Actual Terrorist” Barton at this point???

And worse is that narratively I can see why they did that -- Natasha was one of the worst affected by the Snap, since the family she did have was broken and scattered by their own issues and she was just left.... trying to figure out how to glue it all back together. She wouldn’t have been able to handle it if they lost everything again, so she did what she needed to in order for it to work. Clint lost his mind when he lost his family and this is him healing and he’ll atone forever for this now, because now he has the guilt of Natasha on his soul -- he saved her once but couldn’t save her twice.

BUT IT’S STILL BULLSHIT AND NO AMOUNT OF “SHE HAS BACKUP” WITH ALL THE REMAINING LADIES OF THE MCU DOING A POWER CHARGE WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER BECAUSE NAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE TOO ASDLFJASLDF;A

Literally that entire scene I wanted to throw up because it just went back and forth over who would be the one to die.

I didn’t cry, but I almost did like three separate times: Nat, Happy and Morgan talking about cheeseburgers, and the main 6′s signatures scrolling across their final credits.

I really wanted to brush Thor’s goddamn hair like seventeen times, why didn’t he keep his battle hairstyle and beard.

I’m really glad we got to have final “goodbye” moments for so many characters. Frigga, even Loki had something extra (to go into his spin-off TV show I guess), even a moment with Jane, looking in on Peggy, JAMES D’ARCY AS JARVIS!!!!!!!!!!, Tony getting to have that moment with his father.

THEY GOT ROBERT REDFORD *AGAIN* JFC. The whole segment of cleanup after New York was just. So good? “America’s ass”. So many moments of “hey what if we just.... did this. Make Cap in on the Hydra thing” and filling in the blanks of what happened after the battle.

I’m..... not *unhappy* about Steve’s ending. I think, for the longest time, I’ve wanted them to figure out a way to send him ‘home’. And they did. I think this was his retirement, he was tired of fighting and being on the run. He wasn’t happy, he hadn’t been for a long time -- he had friends and things to do, but he really never did fully fit in. And getting to go back and be with Peggy, and pass on his shield to Sam... Steve lives. He gets to have a life. He gets to love. And that’s okay.

(there’s a lot of time for him and Nat to angst-bang between TWS and Endgame. It’s fine)

But also, for fuck’s sake Steve, Peggy died in 2016 at 95 and you’re still around in 2023 YOU ARE 105 YEARS OLD. GIVE OR TAKE SOME BECAUSE YOU HAD A GO AROUND TWICE FOR A FEW YEARS THERE. The aging makeup they did on Chris looked good, I guess we’ll blame the serum. again.

TONY. AND. PEPPER. HAD. A. BABY. AND. HER. NAME. IS. MORGAN!!!!!!!!! God my heart exploded, RDJ and children are just............. *screaming*

Okay okay okay I’ll talk about other things now, like the FUCKING MUSICAL SCORE TO THIS MOVIE FINDING AND HITTING ALL OF THE EMOTIONAL BUTTONS IN MY HEART AND PRESSING THE FUCK OUT OF THEM. The original Avengers theme, the same score to Tony taking the nuke into space for Peter trying to get the gauntlet to Scott.

THE FUCKING

BONGOS

WHEN THEY WERE PLANNING THE TIME HEIST

ACTUAL SPY HEISTY MOVIE SHIT, FUCKING WHAT EVEN

But seriously, the musical themes hit me more than anything else in so many places, bravo to Alan Silvestri and whoever else worked on the score because you yoinked all the best bits there and shoved them into this movie.

I’ve seen the phrase “love letter to the entire MCU” thrown around quite a bit and I can’t agree more. Even the TV shows had some nods here and there, what with the inclusion of James D’Arcy in a very 1970s hairstyle reprising the role of Jarvis, while Peggy was off in her office being exasperated with men and their incompetencies.

But stylistically it hit a lot of the same beats that “Skyfall” did when it was released -- since it was the 50th anniversary, and they’d basically run out of Fleming material and were going into entirely new territory, they very thematically went backwards in time through the James Bond eras with scenes and lighting and props, before driving off in that Aston Martin through the gates of Skyfall and into something entirely new.

That was Endgame. We hit the high points. We referenced the jokes, we saw some payoffs, we got a lot of “what ifs” played with, a lot of absolute fanservice and a lot of emotional moments being tidied up in the actual end of an era and 11 years of storytelling.

All ending with “I am Iron Man.” and a snap.

And we ended where we began, and now we’re off into something new.

And I’m just going to be really sad about it for a while now. Because even though I’m nowhere as deep into the MCU as I was five years ago, this was still part of my life for A THIRD OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!! And it’s over now. And some threads will remain, but who knows now how invested I’ll be or how eagerly I’ll be looking into things.

It’s the end of an era, and it was good. And I’m sad and happy and I have an emotional headache.

FINAL EDIT: I JUST REALIZED

WHERE WE STARTED WITH ALL THE ORIGINAL 6 BUT HALF THE UNIVERSE IS GONE, WE ENDED WITH THE UNIVERSE EXISTING BUT HALF THE ORIGINAL SIX GONE

ADL;KADF;JLASDFL;JKADFJKL;ASDFL;

#marvel #endgame spoilers #in which i vomit a lot of feelings out on the internet

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vsplusonline · 4 years

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Luxury and the corona ‘crisis’

New Post has been published on https://apzweb.com/luxury-and-the-corona-crisis/

Luxury and the corona ‘crisis’

There is a crisis looming in the luxury market, what with Italy’s coronavirus lockdown, disruptions in the luxury calendar and travel restrictions. But are the uber-rich affected, just like everyone else? They have their private planes, concierge services and access to the best medical experts, after all. Here’s what luxury connoisseur, Swapan Seth, who runs the design and brand consulting film, THIS CONTENT, has to say:

How is luxury in India vulnerable to coronavirus?

It has devastated them. Luxury was all about the highest common factor. Diseases such as coronavirus are about the lowest common denominator. It makes someone living in Amrita Shergill Marg as susceptible as someone living in Ayanagar (to give you a Delhi-NCR context). Plus those travelling by First Class are landing in the same goddamn terminal as those travelling cattle. And Italy is locked down. How does one celebrate one’s 53rd birthday in Puglia? Weddings at Lake Como are out. I mean, they have declared an emergency in New York! It seems as if the planet has been nuked by Kim Jong-un.

How do the one-percenters in India deal with the Covid-19 outbreak differently from their counterparts in the West and China?

The frustration is uniform. The Airinum, the five-filtration mask, is out of stock for both Indians and Americans. Of course, those in the West and China have far greater access to things like private jets. I mean, you can now escape to The Hamptons from NYC in a chopper, but you still need to take a flight to Goa or a ferry to Alibaug. How jackie-tacky is that.

With the cancellation (or virtual alternative) of many of the watch, auto, art and other big shows and summits, how must luxury retail reinvent?

Art Basel Hong Kong has got cancelled. Art Dubai has got postponed. The Geneva Auto Show, Milan Furniture Fair and The Singapore Yacht Show have been called off. There are rumours that Cannes, The Euros and The Olympics may also go under. In which case where will ladies flash their Princie diamonds. I mean, what happens to all the money made by ringing the opening bell at NASDAQ? It all seems so futile. And unfair.

Could you draw a parallel to any other emergency like Covid-19?

Let us put it this way. According to The New York Times, Baselworld was founded in 1917 during World War I. And ever since, it has never been closed. So, you go figure. Clearly there has never been such a social drought before. Or a calamity of such social cruelty.

The big fat Indian wedding. What is to become of it?

It gets ‘ketoed’. Seriously, there are rumours of a family having commissioned Dior to create hand sanitisers as a gift with the wedding cards. There is also a big buzz about Sabyasachi being approached to create a designer face mask. One wedding planner is in active conversation with Boeing to lease Dreamliners for mid-air weddings. Given that Antarctica is as warm as London, wedding planners are planning penguin parties. But then cruise ships are hardly encouraging anymore, so getting there will be a bit of a challenge. I suppose weddings will go back to being held at the local park with Chawla Caterers and coffee served from those antique espresso machines which doled out sickly-sweet coffee with chocolate powder sprinkled on it.

What constitutes germ-free hideaways for rich Indians?

Crowds need to be avoided. So London is out. I mean, what is the point in going to London if you can’t bump into your neighbour at Harrods or your lawyer at The Audley. I guess Kasauli will become the new Kensington and Alibaug the new Antibes. And instead of spending money in Milan and their wealth in Waikiki, I suppose the ultra-rich will need to learn how to spend time on other strange things like the family, books, music.

Does it help to have a private pilot license now (several businessmen have been getting them over the last few years)?

Those who can afford yachts and planes already have them. Bollywood stars and politicians will have no issues. They can borrow those yachts and planes free of cost in any case. But really, what is the point of putting down a million on a yacht or plane when the entire world is quarantined. I think they have to wait it out until Elon Musk can get us all to the moon by 2023.

Could you comment on concierge services that will be activated with this outbreak?

According to The New York Times, there is a healthcare brand in the US called Sollis. It has built an isolation room for a client. It comes with ‘‘a ventilation system equipped with a negative pressure system to restrict the circulation of pathogens’’. It is basically an isolated guest wing consisting of a bedroom and kitchen stocked with IV hydration, medicines, lab supplies, gloves, gowns, masks, oxygen, food, and a set of dishes and linen. I have half a mind to ask my concierge service to arrange for a thermal screening at home.

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