also like. do u have a good way to tell if someone is a truther or just having fun bc sooo many dnfers give me the squick but i can't tell if im just being overcautious or if they're actually like. wierd about it idk.

I think that as long as someone can acknowledge that they're not actually publicly dating in real life, they're in the clear and can make all of the jokes they want 👍🏼

Meteor Gardens system catfished their ex

If you have the person with this name in your server:

Meteor Gardens

Discord ID winters#1111 / 939634379477643274

Pluralkit ID mlfjy

Pinterest user meteorgardens

Rentry meteorgarden

Yumeng/Nerevar/Nerechi/Nere

AO3 writer and Twitter user milkdollwr (pseud tribunal)

They have also went by Cloud Recesses (☁), Doll Bar (💌), Ghost City, Gusu System (🌋), Morrowind System (☁), and have used other emojis like 🪐 and 🔮. If you recognize this person in your server, ban them instantly and spread this around. The tags underneath this post are communities (mostly fandoms) they are in and interact with.

They catfished their ex, Corpse Party System (who is on their DNI) for the entirety of their relationship and excused it as being "insecure". They convinced Corpse Party that this was them and would avoid any attempts at video chatting. And before you ask, why didn't Corpse Party ask before this all happened? They loved them, and didn't want to believe their partner was lying to them.

On December 4th, 2021, both Corpse Party and Meteor Gardens began a FWB situation where some of their headmates dated. They had met a month or so earlier, either in October or November, when Meteor Gardens joined a server that Corpse Party owned. In this server they would share photos and videos of a person from Tiktok named Josh:

There are more instances of them posting photos and videos of this man and claiming to be them.

Over the time, Meteor's George (now Aya) and Corpse's Dream exchanged sexts, and Aya would send "photos of herself". On December 19, Dream would confront her about the differences in the photos, based off of the videos/images they shared:

You'll see that oftentimes when they get caught into some trouble, they do this thing where they ask to not be forgiven which reads as guilt-trippy and something we'll definitely see again.

I'm just going to skip right ahead to the confession:

And they had the nerve to put Corpse Party on the DNI list when they've done nothing wrong, and in fact it was entirely their fault any of this has happened.

Here's some extra things: This is Angela, who claims to be their best friend. Her nickname for Meteor is Yumi. Firstly, here's Meteor confirming they're friends in real life:

Also, since Angela's profile picture is her face (most likely) it's been cut out of the screenshots, where Corpse Party and Angela talk about it. Angela confirms that they did it because they were "insecure," which is a dogshit reason to catfish regardless:

Here's the DMs mentioned in Angela's message. The username has changed.

To anyone else who is reading: Block them. Ban them. Don't let them hurt anybody else with their catfishing. Don't let the excuse of them being "insecure" fool you, because being insecure is not a reason to continuously catfish and lie to someone for months straight.

I will be posting more screenshots of them catfishing Corpse Party and their friends (hence the "DNI anyone who associates or is Corpse Party").

Meteor Gardens, if you're reading this, I hope you never find peace. The only reason why you have your ex Corpse Party in your goddamn DNI is because you can't face the fact that you've done something wrong to them, and, honestly? I don't think you're even sorry about it. You took advantage of them. You're the most horrible kind of person.

Edit: Also, before anyone defends Meteor Gardens, keep in mind that you can't defend someone without acknowledging they've done something wrong. I can even say Corpse Party did something wrong, as in one screenshot Corpse Party directly calls MG a coward, but apologized and said it wasn't good they did that after they calmed down. Meteor Gardens continually lied to them about what they looked like and only seemed to feel guilty weeks before everything happened.

They continued a relationship past this point as friends rather than romantic, and some of their headmates continued dating. Afterwards, Meteor Gardens left in the middle of the night after two headmates got into an argument, because Hua (their host) got a boyfriend that Corpse Party was upset with because they'd been talking about the idea of dating for a long time.

The entire thing left Corpse Party extremely traumatized, as their disordered love made them cut everybody off in favor of being around Meteor Gardens and making them happy. Meteor Gardens is only about themselves. They hurt Corpse Party, regardless of how you look at it, and while Corpse Party might have hurt back at points they genuinely tried their best to be a good partner for them and always forgave them when they did something wrong, even catfish them.

— strawberry kisses

feral boys x gn! reader || headcanon

genre : fluff

warnings : swearing

summary : their reaction to you giving them a kiss on the cheek for the first time!

a/n : hi hi! this is my first fic, i hope you like it 🥺 and i'm so sorry if there's any mistake, i'll try fixing them asap!

song to listen to while reading :

; DREAM

this man right here is VERY careful with you

always asking for consent before any physical contact with you (consent is always the key!)

he was so happy when you said that you were fine with cuddles and hugs with him! be ready for tight back hugs from him 'cause he loves putting his head on the crook of your neck >:)

but kisses... you were a bit shy about it since you were new to this type of relationship and you wanted to learn a bit first,

you told him about wanting to take things slowly and get used to it first, and of course he understands! dream will 100% respect your boundaries

he will wait patiently until you're comfortable enough with him because he loves you so much and he wants you to see him as a safe, comfort place :)

then one day when the two of you were baking cookies for valentines day, dream jokingly asked you to kiss him on the cheek as a thank you for helping you with the cookies

i mean, it's almost valentines anyways. a small, innocent kiss wouldn't hurt right? ö

you just giggled and gently leaned your face closer to his cheek, your fingers softly bringing his chin closer to you

you gently placed a kiss on his cheek, then quickly turning away from him with a wide smile

congratulations, you have successfully broke dream

man would be frozen on the place for a full minute, trying to process what just happened and is this real or not (because if it's not real he'd cry on the floor)

expect him to cling on you and not letting you go for the next few hours, calling you with sweet names like baby, hun, etc. for no reason and just be all lovey dovey with you ♡

he would secretly mark the date on his phone's calendar just for this special day where you kissed him for the first time HHAHSJDKSKD

if you were comfortable, he would offer you a kiss on your cheek to return the favor 🥺

and if you said yes, AAAAAAAA he would be so fucking happy, his serotonin level would just go through the roof like 📈📈

and ofc, he would happily give you a sweet kiss on your cheek! ( ˙ᵕ˙ )♡

; GEORGE

george is definitely very shy with you at first

he's VERY careful around you and treat you with so much care 🥺

( but once the two of you have gotten pretty used to each other, you guys bully each other 24/7 💀💀 (jokingly ofc!) )

at first, you thought george didn't like physical affections like kisses, hugs, etc.

boy you were wrong

this cat boy secretly LOVES physical affections from you, but he just hides it from you! and of couse, you love giving them to him too :)

but you were a little bit shy about kisses, and same goes to him. two shy cuties !!

if he was being honest : he wants to squish your cheeks and shower you with kisses, but he respects your boundaries and will wait until you're ready to take a step further! (( and he's really shy, he would also need time to get the courage to do it :D ))

then one day george has just finished recording for minecraft manhunt and boy, that block game can actually make you tired

the moment he's done with the recording, he immediately rushed to the bed and plop himself next to you

you would ask him things like how did the recording went, etc. and he'll answer you while letting you play with his soft hair 🥺

george was feeling a little playful, so he joked and asked you to give him a kiss on the cheek to recharge his energy

you looked at him with your cheeks slightly reddened. george has been working hard lately anyways, he deserves a gift, right?

you slowly bought your face closer to his cheek and planted a quick kiss on his cheek before looking away then melt into a puddle

georgenotfound who? i only know georgenotworking

his eyes would be widened, face red, and he would just sit there with his palm on the cheek where you planted the kiss on

it's been 3 minutes and his face is still red, huge grin on his face while hugging you tightly

he won't even try to hide the fact that he loves being affectionate with you anymore

it's the first time george has ever been clingy with you and you're living for it tbh 🥺

he'd ask you if you want a kiss too, in such a shy manner like "i can... give you... a kiss too... if you want... 👉👈"

if you say yes ? MMMMMMMMMM the two of you melt into a puddle together <33

he'll give you a quick but sweet kiss on your cheek with his face redder than before (,,．．„ )

; SAPNAP

man seems like he would fight you no matter what size you are

but in reality? sapnap's the sweetest and the clingiest (in a positive way, ofc!) man you've ever been with and you're so into this

he LOVES being affectionate and clingy with you, in fact he does it all the time. it's just how he is with you :)

he also LOVES giving you affection. he doesn't care about who's giving and who's receiving tbh, he just loves being around you in general 👉👈

you love his affection and giving him affection too, of course!! but you were a bit shy since this was your first romantic relationship with someone and kissing was a new thing to you

sapnap would tease you for being so shy around him, endlessly flirting with you just to see you all flustered, because in his eyes? you're so fucking adorable and that's a fact. ♡

despite him being all playful and flirty with you, he respects your boundaries and will 100% wait until you're ready!

of course he wants kiss you right on the spot but he can wait patiently, just for you <3

then one day, he was playfully flirting with you as usual

and he jokingly said "hey y/n, i think i deserve a kiss on the cheek for being cute!" well, you couldn't disagree with what he just said 👀

so you put on a large grin and placed a kiss on his cheek, immediately turning red afterwards

sapnap's the new pogchamp emote now

he would be so surprised and just turn into a ball of absolute joy

he'd immediately scoop you closer to him, hugging you tightly while giggling and just— shower you with lots of love 🥺

and trust me, he won't let go of you unless it's emergency or if you were uncomfortable

but if you were fine with it? this man will hold you like his life depends on it

he would also give you kisses on your cheek / the top of your head if you were comfortable enough :)

and if you did allowed him to kiss you? he'll immediately shower you with kisses and calling you his in between the kisses, like "you're mine, mine, mine" 👉👈

; QUACKITY

alex, he's such a flirty mf 😳

endlessly teasing you and flirting with you just to see you being flustered, just like sapnap

he'd call you with sweet spanish nicknames like mi amor, hermosa, etc. and you find them cute, honestly 🥺

he's really clingy with you (in a good way!) and always hugs you whenever he sees you. it's almost like an instinct to him when he sees you :) but you don't mind since you're living for his warm hugs and cuddles ♡

he LOVES the way you melt under his hugs, and honestly? he wants to cover your whole face with kisses but he knew you were new into dating and want to take things slowly, so he respects your boundaries! :))

one day, he was in a discord call with his friends and they were endlessly teasing him; which leads him to fake crying as a joke and asked you to give him a kiss on the cheek to make him stop crying

man, alex is so fucking adorable and you thought that he deserves a reward for being such a cutie

so you giggled and moved closer to him, slightly bending down to get to his level and placed a kiss on his cheek before turning away with a large grin on your face.

you know that one time karl jokingly leaned in to kiss alex? yeah, he has the exact same expression now

this man would stare blankly at you, his cheeks slightly red but then a few seconds later he's screaming in absolute joy

his friends would be so confused, asking him if he was alright but instead of answering them, he mutes the call and immediately clings his arms around your neck

"mi amor, you should do that more often if you're okay with it ;)"

100% endlessly flirting with you while hugging you tightly, melting you into a puddle ( bonus point if you knew spanish, cause he'd say cheesy pick up lines in spanish for you ;) )

and just like sapnap, he'd shower you with sweet kisses on your face if you were fine with it!

and if you were okay with him kissing you? man... you know that one vine where a kid is crying because of how cute her puppy is? yeah that's alex quackity @ your existence

he'd just be so happy and shower you with kisses, praising you, telling you how adorable you are, and telling you that you're his and he loves you so fucking much 🥺

; KARLJACOBS

karl jacobs is the definition of wholesome itself

he's literally the sweetest human being you've ever met, you can almost taste cotton candies when you're with him

he's really affectionate and loving towards you, always praising you whenever he's hugging you and holding you close to him! and of course, we can't forget the sweet nicknames he have for you. he just loves giving you so much affection, and you're in for it! 🥺

don't forget his playful side too! he would always joke around with you and maybe be flirty when he's feeling extra playful :) he can go from sending you wholesome memes to weird cursed images, no in between

but you were a little bit shy since you were new in this type of relationship. you told karl that you wanted to learn more first before jumping into more romantic gestures, including kisses.

of course this boy would go "okay! :)" and shower you with gestures you're comfortable with instead (hugs, cuddles, etc.) he wants you to feel comfortable around him, so he respects your boundaries! ♡

then one day when the two of you were cuddling on the couch while watching adventure time, karl jokingly asked what if you gave him a kiss on the cheek like marceline did to bubblegum

and you thought karl has been so sweet with you this whole time. you gotta return the favor to him, right?

so you just displayed a shy smile, leaning closer to him and gave him a small kiss on the cheek before you slowly melt in his arms

his eyes widened and he just wants to scream the way puppycat did

he'd immediately bring you closer to his body and mutter out uncountable i love you's, calling you perfect, sweet, etc. just praising you and being all giggly with you. of course he would be so giggly, you just gave him a kiss!!! 🥺👉👈

he would LOVE to return the favor to you, if you're fine with it!

and if you said yes? places such a sweet kiss on your face and just admire you with his starry eyes 🥺

JNNGGHHH SO MUCH SEROTONIN THIS RELATIONSHIP IS JUST 50% WHOLESOME AND 50% WHOLESOME BUT IN RED

your first time | HCs

what your first time having sex includes (for anon)

Г includes : hermione granger, draco malfoy, harry potter, ron weasley, ginny weasley, pansy parkinson, fred weasley, george weasley, luna lovegood, cho chang, fleur delacour, nymphadora tonks, bellatrix lestrange, and narcissa black

♡─

hermione granger

♡─

actually researches everything she can to make it good for you (which ends up working really well)

is such a nervous wreck about making it perfect that you have to remind her

"it's with you, it'll already be perfect"

uses terms like vagina until you straight up tell her you're comfortable with dirtier words

foreplay QUEEN

does absolutely everything in her power to get you as wet as possible before doing anything

to the point where you wonder if you'll cum before even fucking

is already asking you what kinks you wanna try at this point

doesn't shut up but she's complimenting you the whole time

gets really encouraged + turned on whenever you moan

clingy, grinning mess after

asks you immediately what you want her to do better next time

♡─

draco malfoy

♡─

cocky, cocky, cocky

secretly really nervous but still plays it up

will not let you top

returns anything you do

doesn't stand for you being quiet

he will do everything in his power to get you as loud as possible

also doesn't take his eyes off you at all ─ like he wants to memorise every second of it and every inch of your body

pretty rough but instantly softens if he thinks he hurt you or something

won't cum until you do

tells you how hot you were after

teases you for cumming for him like that wasn't the intended goal

acts non chalant instead of telling you how head over heels he is

♡─

harry potter

♡─

harry is CURIOUS and no one can tell me otherwise

you're the one that has to tell him it's ok to touch you and he goes all out once you do

wants to do everything, touch you everywhere

actually wouldn't be able to get over you or shift his focus from pleasing you

"these are so pretty", "i love this", "say my name again", etc.

you probably have to pull him away at some point if you want to actually touch him ─ or fuck

absolutely shook when do you touch him

tries to stay quiet until you tell him you wanna hear him

then he won't shut up with the babbling and the praises

wants a second round as soon as you finish

♡─

ron weasley

♡─

thanks to hbp, we know how inexperienced ron is

so don't expect him to get actually kinky the first time

sure, he wants to go all out with you but he's actually really gentle

accidentally tries something in the moment (like choking, degrading, basically any kink) and apologises

then can't believe the experience actually gets better when you roll with said kink (and enjoy it)

slows and asks if you're ok the whole time

and every time you say yes, he gets really encouraged

doesn't even want to pull away when you're done ─ basically never wants to take his hands off of you again

heavy breathing and huge grinning right on your skin when you're done

having a snack together after because it's cute and he's all worn out so

♡─

ginny weasley

♡─

effortlessly sexy

honestly gets you going without even knowing it (you're done for when she actually tries)

she's really casual but sweet

definitely confident

puts her hair in a ponytail so you can see her face but still grab her hair

can't stay serious for shit ─ she's so happy and makes sure you know it

absolutely teases you if you stare at her

"its like this is the first time you've seen me naked!"

voices how turned on she is and how hot she finds you

forces herself to keep her eyes open because she wants to see you come undone

gets as many orgasms out of you as she can

sits on your lap and plants all these little kisses on your face when you're finished

♡─

pansy parkinson

♡─

"y/n and i are going to fuck, you should all be jealous" "oh my gods pansy,"

only a little nervous ─ she's more excited than anything

starts to confidently tells you about her daydreams, fantasies, and wet dreams but ends up blushing really hard

gets to work immediately

assumes she's topping but is actually willing to let you if you'd like

cocky, teasing, and sweet the whole time

goes for dirty names right off the bat

doesn't miss a beat when you cum, "baby 'm gonna take you against the wall now"

keeps going even after she gets tired

finally stops once you're both mindblown and unable to walk

falls asleep naked with you, head in your hair, mumbling about how she has the best s/o

♡─

fred weasley

♡─

will pick you up/drag you/etc. to wherever you're doing this

excited as fuck but wants a safeword first and foremost

probably makes it something really stupid

you can barely get anything other than moans out once he starts touching you

gives you kisses, talks dirty, fucks you as hard as he can... he goes all out

just to make your first time the best you've ever had

focuses on giving unless you want more

softer during the second round but way kinkier ─ the boy likes trouble more than work but he's still a quick learner

slow, tired makeout when you're both worn out and him spooning you

♡─

george weasley

♡─

also really excited

has already figured out your kinks at this point through conversation cues and imagined making you cum with all of them

won't stop kissing you, saying stuff like, "ready to cum for me baby?"

SWOONING banter, "so long as you fill me up love"

confident + teasing about it

"fuck, how did you know i like that?" "a weasley is always prepared y/n," "didn't you forget to wear shoes to class last week?"

absolute gentleman

makes sure everything's ok with you

knows how to get you hot and bothered without being too rough

grunted i love yous

pulls out of you once you're all fucked out but keeps you close so he can give your forehead wet, praising kisses

♡─

luna lovegood

♡─

so ready to do this

tells you really non-chalantly how bad she wants you

also a queen of foreplay

undresses you so carefully and slowly, telling you how gorgeous you are

long kisses

open about her kinks, asks straight up what yours are

locking fingers while you fuck and agreeing to only let go if one of you wants to stop

spoiler, your hands may as well be fused together by the end of the night

coaxes you through her moans and checks on you

even though she knows ─ and trust me, she KNOWS ─ you're having the time of your life

wants you to lay on your back after you cum and plays with your hair + swirls her fingers on your skin from her comfy lil seat on your waist

♡─

cho chang

♡─

sweet over sexy first time

nervous at first that someone's going to walk in but once she starts touching you, the whole world disappears

lots of blushing and giggling

nothing too serious ─ your legs are tangled and you're just heart eyed

plants kisses all over you the whole time

actually loses herself with you

like eyes scrunched shut and looking like an angel

if she didn't want to see you all pretty and moaning so bad, she'd probably keep her eyes closed and just be happy with how good you feel

whispers the cutest but dirtiest shit

so smiley when you cum

gets pouty if you pull away or stand up after

wants to cuddle, skin to skin, and keep giving you kisses

♡─

fleur delacour

♡─

wants it to be perfect

wears the prettiest lingerie she owns

sets a romantic scene

physically and verbally

trust me when i say this girl is a romantic goddess when it comes to words

pulls out the french and tells you how beautiful she thinks you are

magic touch ─ her fingers are stroking and caressing you during everything and it feels magical

during this first time, actions > words

barely says anything

other than moaning your name

quietly praises you under her breath but says it louder if you tell her to

just really sensual and passionate

holds you in her arms and kisses all over your neck and shoulders when you finish

♡─

nymphadora tonks

♡─

"love, are you sure you want to do this together?"

the second she has your full comfort and consent?

she goes wild

fucks you a thousand different ways but is being so sweet with her words

respectful yet dirty, complimenting in the sexiest tone you've ever heard

wouldn't want to do anything too kinky the first time

only because she wants to leave you wanting more

(as if you won't already ─)

definitely loses control of her hair colour in the moment

it just feels so good that she can't help but go bright and vibrant

all bubbly and talkative when you finish + gets herself together and changes her hair back to your favourite colour

♡─

bellatrix lestrange

♡─

lays out all her kinks that first time

goes absolutely wild in bed

covers you in sloppy kisses and hickeys

moans shit like, "i have been thinking about this since the moment i laid eyes on you,"

loud the whole time

possessive pet names

my doll, my love, my pretty little thing

melts the first time your hands are in her hair

(whether they're pulling at it or running through it)

won't say anything about it but looks for cues that you're comfortable and enjoying it as much as she is

doesn't stop until you're completely worn out

lays on your chest when you're done

and falls asleep mumbling praises

♡─

narcissa black

♡─

tease

wants to stretch out your desire before you do anything for as long as she can

long kisses, hooked fingers, etc.

and when she does fuck you?

respectful queen, looks at you for consent before trying anything

stays serious but if you let out a little giggle, she indulges it because she's just as excited to finally be doing this with you

knows what she wants and expects it

she doesn't stop coming up to kiss you

tells you how good you're doing the whole time

makes you cum as many times as she possibly can before finally letting go

doesn't let go when you're done ─ she wants to stay close to you, hot breaths and juices mixing while she kisses the top of your head

─────

Something so cool about sadf is that all the misunderstanding and miscommunication and dragging their feet isn't frustrating at all, to me at least.

Romance stories that prolong the inevitable confession when it's clear both characters like each other so often do, frustration and irritation building up, because if they had just phrased this sentence a little differently, if they had just stayed to listen a little longer or maybe not at all, then they wouldn't be here.

But Dream and Georges problems aren't from mistakes and eavesdropped conversations, it's from two best friends terrified of ruining what they have for the chance of something more.

Here I can't say "they shouldn't have said that" it's "they should have said that" (that being I love you) but it's very understandable why they don't, so yeah, this is one of the only fics, or really any media, I've consumed of this kind without feeling frustrated, which is pretty cool.

YOU GET IT thank you… that’s what happens when its complicated like that when it’s not as simple as two parties liking each other…

not to reference dark times but regarding the whole ‘if sadf!george told sadf!dream he’s in love with him too they could get together’ comment people have made. well. it’s not AS easy as that. idk if i phrased it right any of the last times i talked about this but while it would certainly set things in motion sadf!george saying ‘no way omg im in love with you too’ wouldn’t be as straightforward as you might think because loving someone and having feelings for someone isn’t the same as getting into a romantic relationship with them especially when that SOMEONE is tied to every other aspect of your life in every way. sometimes it’s easier to say ‘i’m in love with you’ than it is to say ‘let’s risk it all’ and that’s something even sadf!dream is Genuinely afraid of. him thinking sadf!george wouldn’t want to date him anyway is definitely a big factor in all this, but he has his own past, insecurities, pain, experiences, etc that make him scared to be so reckless. he wants to be responsible about it, he doesn’t want to risk sadf!george

right now they’re both in this… “i love you so much i can’t lose you” stage and they need to reach “i love you so much losing you might be worth it” or some… other equivalent state. more confidence, more courage, more insanity, for instance. and yes they def need to know more about the depth of each other’s feelings. and that’s what you all have to look forward to :) these things don’t happen all at once, remember that ch8 takes place immediately after ch7 and spans what is essentially 1.5-2 days. not that much time elapsed since the catalyst (the date not date date)

and the thing is about sadf!dnf. it’s not that sadf!dream thinks there’s no way sadf!george has no more feelings for him per se. and it’s also not that sadf!george had zero inkling that dream could’ve had feelings for him either. at the end of the day they do know each other. BUT. it’s like. they don’t want to have that assumption. and they don’t want to face up to it without confirmation. and neither of them knew the extent of it all. and they didn’t want to believe it too deeply without concrete proof to back it up, etc etc etc. so when sadf!george pestered sadf!dream for the real reasons, he just wanted it to be said. but he didn’t see something that extreme coming, and his emotions got all jumbled up, and because he was operating on instinct, he didn’t plan his next step right, so sadf!dream doubled down on wanting to be free from his own feelings. something similar happened w sadf!dream continuously asking about sadf!george’s past feelings. it wasn’t so much that he had no idea whether george still liked him, it was more so he was suspicious but unsure how deep things ran, and he figured that even if sadf!george did still like him he likely did not want to pursue them in a relationship sense, which he wasn’t all that wrong about…

i know how hellish this is. just picking it apart a little bit is hell. but that’s how things can be sometimes. you might get it you might not. you might’ve lived it too you might not

Hello! I'm the anon from the 4 part ask that you answered earlier! I saw your post about the different "eras" of DNF and I would like to share some of my opinions since I've been in the fandom since March of last year, so maybe I can write my own analysis and briefly explain what happened during these times (and hopefully someone will find enjoyment in reading this)!

So the first era was probably the most "baity" period where every interaction between Dream and George with slight romantic undertones was pure bait. From Dream placing romantic music in the background, to the small texts on screen that would read "arguing like a married couple" and even proclaiming his love to George any second he could, it was obvious that it was a means to garner a reaction and moments that could be used in compilations, edits, videos, etc. Dream addressed George just the same as he currently does Sapnap or Bad: Dude, Bro, etc, and when they weren't attempting to bait, for example on streams, things were chill, no tension, just two bros hanging out in minecraft.

LOVE OR HOST ERA. The catalyst in DNF's relationship, in my humble opinion. Now, where do I begin? So, LOH was definitely a time that I believe Dream became aware of his feelings towards George (platonic or romantic, I can't be sure) and his fear of losing him. Before/During George's LOH, we got Dream saying some interesting things, the most notable one "George is the only man I can see myself dating". Now, I'm pretty sure this was meant as bait, but how he reacted prior to LOH, was very telling. Dream would avoid George like the plague in every situation that didn't require them to interact. Twitter? Only one mention (and that was literally him tagging George in Andrea's post in spite). Stream? That I can remember he didn't join much during this time, nor did he stream that often. During MCC, the DT was separated in different teams, Sapnap & George together and Dream alone. Now Sapnap DID pop off. He was doing amazing. And Dream complimented him and his team quite a lot. But what about George? I believe he mentioned him ONCE. This was the first time we see Dream jealous in regards to George, and the lack of content and interactions between these two made many believe DNF was dead and abandon the ship all together.

QUACKITY AND KARL. Now there is a lot that happened in between LOH Arc and the friendship between the DT with Karl and Quackity. Dream and George seemed to have solved whatever occured between them, and things were tranquil. We got a few baity moments here and there, but we also started to get the start of the infamous "name-truthing", the soft voices and other subtle moments. Now, during this time George, Dream and Sapnap started developing their friendship with Quackity and Karl, George in particular started getting closer with them and spending LOTS of time with them, so much so that we got more G/K/Q content than we did DT content. And we get Jealous Dream 2.0., only difference from the other occurence of jealously? He addressed it publicly, admitted that he was frustrated and physically affected by the lack of attention from the british man. He confronted George while he was streaming, with an audience of 50k+ viewers. He was desperate.

Things were pretty calm after that, the more intimate and subtle moments between the two became more and more apparent and began to outweight the baity moments. Quackity/George/Karl continued to blossom their friendship, and DNF was slowly becoming a topic to tease George and Dream (I can only compare their teasing to that of middle schoolers when their friends had a crush). We can compare this teasing to that of Skephalo, the difference, while one is leaning on the more explicit side and used to make others laugh or get an over the top reaction, the other was used as an inside joke of sorts, only brought up to embarass or shut up Dream/George when they got over-confident (most times it would effectively leave them quiet, important to note, is that they never denied the claims nor attempted to).

TRAINS PODCAST. Oh boy, was this a night to remember. A historical mark for DNF. The point in history that George decided to become BOLD and actively flirt with Dream whenever he wanted to, rendering or poor Leo speechless most of the time. That podcast changed these men, it unlocked something within them and things have never been the same since. This is where we see the dynamic take a major switch, and baity moments had become almost non-existent, and instead we got probably some of the most tension filled convos between these himbos. Name-truthing had become something natural between them, the unavoidable excitement whenever they hear one another in call, suddenly ever call became a matter of how long until they were third-wheeling everyone. It's also during this time that we clearly see a difference in between Dream & Sapnap's relationship and Dream & George's relationship (not that one outweighed the other, but the nature of these relationships were very much opposing)

And finally we are in our current stance. Where the sweet, obnoxious moments continue to pile; More and more of their friends are calling them out (you can literally see Quackity and Karl becoming more direct and, quite honestly, aggressive with their call-outs. I bet they are just as tired as we are); The whole hoodie fiasco and the secretive pictures; Syncing sleep schedules once again; Tension continue to grow and you can see them testing the waters, in a game of tug of war until one of them caves in and starts the conversation.

As I said before, they have nothing to gain from the bait they are currently doing. They excuse it as being a joke, and hide behind this lie, as a means to test the development and seriousness of whatever they have going on. The whole Valentine's thing proves that they (unfortunately) do not understand when the other is being sincere or baity...

Also here is some food for thought. George has been very clingy with Dream ever since he and Sapnap moved in together. Not being able to see each other is certainly another factor that is affecting them.

I'm anxious to figure out what in the hell is happening next between our oblivious idiots with communication issues. It sometimes seems surreal the things that occur between them, and straight out of a fanfic.

Anyway, sorry for the long rant and if this wasn't very interesting to read! Just wanted to get some thoughts out of my head!! Stay safe and hope you have a good day/afternoon/night! ❤

Hi love! Glad to have you back <3

Firstly, don’t ever be sorry for ranting in my inbox, especially ab dnf. I love to see it!

Thank you for this, especially the early parts when I wasn’t in the fandom yet. Ahh this is super helpful.

I agree that George has gotten more clingy since Sapnap and Dream moved in together which is so funny because Dream and George have a more similar sleep schedule than Sapnap and Dream do LMAO

But yes all of this ugh I’m deeming you my genius anon

FOREVER YOURS

(skip muck X reader)

fluff?? idk anymore

a/n: anyways this got requested on wattpad. y’all are free to request anytime you lost xx

wc: 2136

you did not expect to have your best friend crying into your shoulder every afternoon. honestly, you didn’t expect to even be near your best friend on a day like that. you always had plans to stay home and wallow in self-pity all day. that was until skip called you.

before the war, you and skip had been closer than ever. the two of you met as pubescent kids and got into all sorts of trouble. the other people in your neighborhood had definitely deemed you both ‘partners in crime’. there were no complaints from either of you. because in all honesty, skip was in love with you and the feeling had been reciprocated. it wasn’t some sort of unrequited love that was written about in romance novels. it was just two best friends torn apart by the reality of war.

skip was quick to enlist in the airborne (something you weren’t exactly fond of) and you had stayed back at home working in some factory. for years you waited for him to come home. you dreaded getting a call from one of his family members saying they a k.i.a. letter, but thankfully they never did. to you, it felt like a lifetime since you’d seen skip. to him, it must’ve felt like seven lifetimes.

when he came home, he was exactly what you had expected. broken and empty. skip made it very clear that he didn’t want you to force yourself to be the person to fix him. you knew you couldn’t fix him because he was beyond repair, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t fill all the cracks with something new. after all, this wouldn’t happen overnight. it’d take years. maybe even decades. hell, you didn’t think he could ever snap back from this. however, that didn’t mean he couldn’t laugh or the two of you couldn’t be happy. it would come and go, like waves upon a beach. sometimes he was happier for longer, sometimes he was completely reserved and quiet. you were fine with that. it was what you signed up for.

he sobbed into your shoulder for hours on end. he must’ve been in so much physical pain. you could never cry for that long.

“it’s okay to cry. i actually think it makes a person stronger.” you’d tell him.

you loved skip. in your eyes, that was very clear. actually, it was very simple to everyone around you. if you had the chance, you would’ve laid down your life for him. the purest thing in the world was being able to look at someone and just know they were yours. through thick and thin, you had him and he had you. skip knew it, you knew it, all of your friends and family knew it.

most times he’d scream and cry, but never tell you why. you were fine with that. he fought his own battles in his mind. all you could do was sit by and watch. you couldn’t drop into his nightmares and fight away the demons with a sword. you weren’t there throughout the war. you didn’t understand what went through his mind. all you could do was listen. at first, that was all you could do. skip didn’t want to go anywhere. there wasn’t anyone he was dying to see other than you.

years had begun to pass. there was a closing rift between the two of you. though, you did stand side by side through it all. skip opened up to you. he’d try his hardest to explain why he couldn’t sleep through the night. he told you about the time he thought it was all over, and at that moment all he could think of was you. he introduced you to his airborne buddies. they’d say they heard only the best about you. skip would always pull you away before they said too much.

“i’m always gonna be here for you. just say the word and i’m there.” you’d reassure him when the goings got a little too rough.

skip loved you. you had gotten him through the war. skip could so clearly remember sitting in a foxhole and staring directly at a shell that hadn’t gone off. he could hear alex penkala’s distant voice screaming for george luz to jump in their foxhole. then he could see carwood lipton pulling george away. at that moment, he could’ve died. blown to absolute hell. in the shiny metal of the bomb, he could see the color of your eyes. the sizzling of heat hitting the snow reminded him only of your voice singing lullabies to your younger siblings. alex was asking if he was alright and skip had no idea. because you were back home in tonawanda and he was in a freezing cold forest in belgium, yet all he could see was your face.

as soon as the shelling had ceased, skip had pulled out a piece of paper. the letter was addressed to you. he poured his heart onto that paper. every little thing running through his mind was written down. yet skip never sent it. he tucked it away beside his rosary and held it close to his heart. skip never did read that letter after he folded it up. he had gone home after endless years of pain and shoved it into his sock drawer. skip promised that piece of paper was never allowed to be read unless he had grown up and asked you to marry him.

skip was not the type of person to break a promise. the two of you worked your asses off. you could make all the money in the world, but it never compared to what was right in front of you (which was skip). skip worked day and night. he did anything he could. without any trace of a romantic relationship between you two, skip bought an engagement ring. he saved up all his money for one piece of small jewelry. that same night he called you over to his house and asked you to marry him. you never knew what to say when skip had bright ideas like this one, but at that time the only answer was yes. it would only ever be yes.

the night of your wedding, skip handed you a letter that had been as worn out by the war as he was. there were tears in his eyes as you took it into your hand. the date read sometime in january of 1945. you could barely remember that time of year. however, skip looked as though he thought about it every day since then.

january 9, 1945

y/n,

not even ten minutes ago, i nearly faced death. it looked me in my own eyes and told me i was nothing. as it happened, i decided deep in my soul that i didn’t want to die. if it hadn’t been a faulty shell (a shell is a bomb, in case you didn’t know), i don’t think i would’ve felt it. i would’ve known penk was at my side and i would see luz right across from us, crawling through the snow. i think it would’ve been painless. one large blast and suddenly nothing. if i am an unfortunate victim of this war, that is how i’d like to go. no pain, just nothingness.

in case i never see you again, i just want you to know how much you mean to me. i love you more than words could ever say. by the time you’re reading this letter (if you ever are), i’m either dead or we’re married. one can only hope for the latter. hopefully, you know how much i adore you. there is no greater thing in this world than the thought of you as i feel my body getting riddled with hypothermia.

i can’t feel my toes. i haven’t been able to feel them in so, so long. tip: if you’re even in belgium, bring EXTRA socks (also wear the right clothing). it’s terribly cold here. way colder than it has ever been at home. my fingers feel like they could break with the slightest impact. i know that in a time like this, you’re probably cuddled up by the fire. we can’t have a fire here. it would alert the enemy.

the shelling rarely stops. they really are destroying us out here. the enemy knows no sort of mercy and neither do we. some of us are barely making it through this. we’ve lost some great men. i’ve lost some of my best friends. it’s never easy to see one of the toccoa men pass. we are good soldiers. winters likes to tell us that whenever he gets the opportunity.

penk has nightmares. it’s a horrible thing to witness. i have to wake him up just in case he gets a little too loud. i know i have them too, but penk never mentions it. occasionally don will come and visit us. his nightmares are the worst. i haven’t seen him since the shelling has stopped, but if he’s even alive i’ll have to hug him as tight as possible. lip is telling us to stay in our foxholes in case it starts up again. i don’t think i could move if i tried.

i keep thinking about you. i don’t remember the last time i heard from you. it must’ve been before holland. i miss you so much. i wish we were back home. i’d give anything in the world to hear your voice one last time. absolutely anything, you don’t understand. there’s nothing i wouldn’t do.

it’s horrifying out here. skinny had a leg injury and smokey was paralyzed. toye lost a leg and guarnere was badly wounded, so he will probably have to lose one too. hoob accidentally shot himself and passed away so fast that you wouldn’t have even known what happened if you weren’t there. a replacement in babe’s foxhole was shot in the neck. i hear that was a lot of blood. i can't even begin to think about all the other people we’ve lost. it’s been a long and brutal couple of weeks.

christmas was odd. i wish i had been with you, setting up your tree in your parent's living room. i always loved how it was right in the front picture window. it looked like a dream. the snow out here is far from that. i hope you put all the cute little ornaments on. i know you admire those far more than the fancy ones. your mother always hated when we made her tree look “messy”. i hope your parents are well. i wonder what they had gotten you for christmas. were there any presents addressed to me? do they sit under the christmas tree you have yet to take down? will you move them to the back of the closet in your bedroom to sit unopened for years if i never make it home? or will you give them to me the moment you see me again even if it is the middle of summer?

one day, when we’re married and have enough money to buy our own place, i want the big window. i want a big yard and big window and a great big christmas tree. every year we can buy our kids ornaments that they can eventually put on their own tree. maybe we can get a dog or a cat. i’d love to watch a cat bat its paw at the ornaments. imagine a small little dog curled up in front of the fireplace.

i think that when i get home i’m gonna have the fireplace on all year. i don’t think i’ll ever set foot in the snow again. you can take our kids sledding or out to build the snowmen. i’ll stay inside with the dog. we can make imaginary snowmen. i’ll watch you and the kids from the window.

what would we name our kids? how many would we have? where would we live? i have so many questions that i cant wait to answer. maybe by the time you’re reading this, we would’ve already made all the big decisions. tell me, what did your wedding dress look like? am i the man you married? did we elope? or did we have the super huge wedding? please tell me don, penk, and george were there. they are some of my best friends after all. i might have to invite everyone in the company. lord knows they deserve it. i owe my life to these guys. i owe my life to you. after all, i wouldn’t be writing this letter without the thought of you on my mind.

i love you, y/n. i can’t wait to hug you.

forever yours,

skip

June Wrap-Up

1. Can't Take That Away (Steven Salvatore)

Carey Parker dreams of being a diva, and bringing the house down with song. But despite their talent, emotional scars from an incident with a homophobic classmate and their grandmother's spiraling dementia make it harder and harder for Carey to find their voice. Then Carey meets Cris, a singer/guitarist who makes Carey feel seen for the first time in their life. With the rush of a promising new romantic relationship, Carey finds the confidence to audition for the role of Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, in the school musical, setting off a chain reaction of prejudice by Carey's tormentor and others in the school. It's up to Carey, Cris, and their friends to defend their rights--and they refuse to be silenced.

2. Sanditon (Jane Austen)

Written in the last months of Austen's life, Sanditon features a glorious cast of hypochondriacs and speculators in a newly established seaside resort, and shows the author contemplating a changing society with scepticism and amusement. It tells the story of Charlotte Heywood, who is transported by a chance accident from her rural hometown to Sanditon, where she is exposed to the intrigues and dalliances of a small town determined to reinvent itself - and encounters the intriguingly handsome Sidney Parker.

3. The Witch King (H.E. Edgmon)

Wyatt would give anything to forget where he came from—but a kingdom demands its king. In Asalin, fae rule and witches like Wyatt Croft…don’t. Wyatt’s betrothal to his best friend, fae prince Emyr North, was supposed to change that. But when Wyatt lost control of his magic one devastating night, he fled to the human world. Now a coldly distant Emyr has hunted him down. Despite transgender Wyatt’s newfound identity and troubling past, Emyr has no intention of dissolving their engagement. In fact, he claims they must marry now or risk losing the throne. Jaded, Wyatt strikes a deal with the enemy, hoping to escape Asalin forever. But as he gets to know Emyr, Wyatt realizes the boy he once loved may still exist. And as the witches face worsening conditions, he must decide once and for all what’s more important—his people or his freedom.

4. One Last Stop (Casey McQuiston)

For cynical twenty-three-year-old August, moving to New York City is supposed to prove her right: that things like magic and cinematic love stories don’t exist, and the only smart way to go through life is alone. She can’t imagine how waiting tables at a 24-hour pancake diner and moving in with too many weird roommates could possibly change that. And there’s certainly no chance of her subway commute being anything more than a daily trudge through boredom and electrical failures. But then, there’s this gorgeous girl on the train. Jane. Dazzling, charming, mysterious, impossible Jane. Jane with her rough edges and swoopy hair and soft smile, showing up in a leather jacket to save August’s day when she needed it most. August’s subway crush becomes the best part of her day, but pretty soon, she discovers there’s one big problem: Jane doesn’t just look like an old school punk rocker. She’s literally displaced in time from the 1970s, and August is going to have to use everything she tried to leave in her own past to help her. Maybe it’s time to start believing in some things, after all.

5. Between Perfect and Real (Ray Stoeve)

Dean Foster knows he’s a trans guy. He’s watched enough YouTube videos and done enough questioning to be sure. But everyone at his high school thinks he’s a lesbian—including his girlfriend Zoe, and his theater director, who just cast him as a “nontraditional” Romeo. He wonders if maybe it would be easier to wait until college to come out. But as he plays Romeo every day in rehearsals, Dean realizes he wants everyone to see him as he really is now––not just on the stage, but everywhere in his life. Dean knows what he needs to do. Can playing a role help Dean be his true self?

6. The Cruel Prince (Holly Black)

Jude was seven when her parents were murdered and she and her two sisters were stolen away to live in the treacherous High Court of Faerie. Ten years later, Jude wants nothing more than to belong there, despite her mortality. But many of the fey despise humans. Especially Prince Cardan, the youngest and wickedest son of the High King. To win a place at the Court, she must defy him–and face the consequences. As Jude becomes more deeply embroiled in palace intrigues and deceptions, she discovers her own capacity for trickery and bloodshed. But as betrayal threatens to drown the Courts of Faerie in violence, Jude will need to risk her life in a dangerous alliance to save her sisters, and Faerie itself.

7. Boy Queen (George Lester)

Robin Cooper’s life is falling apart. While his friends prepare to head off to university, Robin is looking at a pile of rejection letters from drama schools up and down the country, and facing a future without the people he loves the most. Everything seems like it’s ending, and Robin is scrabbling to find his feet. Unsure about what to do next and whether he has the talent to follow his dreams, he and his best friends go and drown their sorrows at a local drag show, where Robin realises there might be a different, more sequinned path for him . . . With a mother who won't stop talking, a boyfriend who won't acknowledge him and a best friend who is dying to cover him in glitter make up, there's only one thing for Robin to do: bring it to the runway.

8. Felix Ever After (Kacen Callender)

Felix Love has never been in love—and, yes, he’s painfully aware of the irony. He desperately wants to know what it’s like and why it seems so easy for everyone but him to find someone. What’s worse is that, even though he is proud of his identity, Felix also secretly fears that he’s one marginalization too many—Black, queer, and transgender—to ever get his own happily-ever-after. When an anonymous student begins sending him transphobic messages—after publicly posting Felix’s deadname alongside images of him before he transitioned—Felix comes up with a plan for revenge. What he didn’t count on: his catfish scenario landing him in a quasi–love triangle.... But as he navigates his complicated feelings, Felix begins a journey of questioning and self-discovery that helps redefine his most important relationship: how he feels about himself.

9. Wuthering Heights (Emily Brontë)

Lockwood, the new tenant of Thrushcross Grange on the bleak Yorkshire moors, is forced to seek shelter one night at Wuthering Heights, the home of his landlord. There he discovers the history of the tempestuous events that took place years before: of the intense passion between the foundling Heathcliff and Catherine Earnshaw, and her betrayal of him. As Heathcliff's bitterness and vengeance is visited upon the next generation, their innocent heirs must struggle to escape the legacy of the past.

10. Ace of Spades (Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé)

Welcome to Niveus Private Academy, where money paves the hallways, and the students are never less than perfect. Until now. Because anonymous texter, Aces, is bringing two students' dark secrets to light. Talented musician Devon buries himself in rehearsals, but he can't escape the spotlight when his private photos go public. Head girl Chiamaka isn't afraid to get what she wants, but soon everyone will know the price she has paid for power. Someone is out to get them both. Someone who holds all the aces. And they're planning much more than a high-school game...

11. The Queer Principles of Kit Webb (Cat Sebastian)

Kit Webb has left his stand-and-deliver days behind him. But dreary days at his coffee shop have begun to make him pine for the heady rush of thievery. When a handsome yet arrogant aristocrat storms into his shop, Kit quickly realizes he may be unable to deny whatever this highborn man desires. In order to save himself and a beloved friend, Percy, Lord Holland must go against every gentlemanly behavior he holds dear to gain what he needs most: a book that once belonged to his mother, a book his father never lets out of his sight and could be Percy’s savior. More comfortable in silk-filled ballrooms than coffee shops frequented by criminals, his attempts to hire the roughly hewn highwayman, formerly known as Gladhand Jack, proves equal parts frustrating and electrifying. Kit refuses to participate in the robbery but agrees to teach Percy how to do the deed. Percy knows he has little choice but to submit and as the lessons in thievery begin, he discovers thievery isn’t the only crime he’s desperate to commit with Kit. But when their careful plan goes dangerously wrong and shocking revelations threaten to tear them apart, can these stolen hearts withstand the impediments in their path?

12. Weekend Girl (Alex Powell)

Ashley Kingston is a genderfluid university student with a major crush on attractive and charming Nolan. He seems just too perfect to be true. What happens when Ash meets Nolan while dressed as both a man, and a woman? And even more confusing, what happens when Nolan seems enamoured of both versions of Ash? A twisty-turny romance filled with fun and shenanigans.

Hello Giselle! I don't know if you have seen my two other asks, but I wan't try my luck three times. I hope you would answer this because I have no one to talk to. My days are very dull and dark, I am an aspiring writer/poet, people like us are made to love and be passionate...but these past few weeks I could not write my heart out. I am very heart broken, and the thought of being lonely kills me. I have been depressed, but what's more painful than sadness is the fact that you can't feel anymore and that is what I'm going through. Hope you advices to ease my pain and longing. As I mention that I am an aspiring writer, can you recommend me some steps and what to do to a procrastinating and chaotic mind like mine? My vocabulary is also not that good as English is not my first language, I hope that you can suggest me many words that reflect beauty and ethereal. And also poetry and books that can help my way out of this. My heart goes on to you, my sweet fairy💓💗 I really hope that you get to see this... :)

oh my love, I genuinely feel so heartbroken after reading this... I might cry... I am so sorry that I have not replied sooner; I very very rarely check my inbox and often asks get lost in the aether. I am deeply glad that you persisted though, I want to help as best I can. you write beautifully by the way- even with english not being your first language you are able to express yourself in a way that holds a lot of emotion and intensity. ♡

I understand loneliness; I understand being unfeeling. although, strangely, I feel that when I am so dissociated from the world, I write best. I simply write what I feel- I don’t try and make it ‘good’, or beautiful, just a reflection of what is happening within my mind or soul. even when one can’t feel anything, there is still something to encapsulate- a hollowness, an absence, a white, blank space or a dark, winding forest that can objectified and made less engulfing for being put into words.

as for some words that I feel are some of the most beautiful in the english language, they include for me:

♡ pearlescent, ephemeral, drowsy, moonbeam, languid, selkie, ethereal, mellifluous, enthralled, lull, ambrosia, translucent, lilting, twilight, enchanting, murmurous, dream, eglantine, wistful, aurora, reminiscent, dewdrop, seraphic, liminal, melancholy, faery, ineffable, haunting, sylph, enamoured, iridescence, lavender, spectre, eerie, luminescence, illicit, petrichor, perfumed, sublime, gossamer, lithe, ingenue ♡

as for books- I put so much of my faith and my heart in children’s books. it might have something to do with nostalgia, but I also believe that children’s books- especially older ones- are often so steeped in messages about light and love and generosity of the heart. and subtle, joyous threads of magic. my very favourites are ‘the little white horse’ by elizabeth gouge, ‘the secret garden’ and ‘the little princess’ by frances hodgson burnett, and ‘howl’s moving castle’ by diana wynne jones. when I find my mind to be ‘chaotic’ and unfocused, I know I can find solace in these books and others- there is a joy in rereading books over and over until reading them takes no effort at all, just like falling asleep or daydreaming.

if you, like me, are particularly drawn towards more ethereal and metaphysical elements of language, shakespeare is unparalleled- parts of ‘a midsummer night’s dream’, ‘the tempest’ and ‘romeo and juliet’ especially are truly, truly exquisite. similarly, there is some victorian and romantic poetry that is completely hauntingly beautiful. I adore ‘the lotos-eaters’ by tennyson, for instance, and absolutely anything by keats. I have been reading ‘to autumn’, of course, as it is late september- but I always return most of all to ‘ode to a nightingale’ when it comes to loneliness…

the passage where the monster is describing his flight in ‘frankenstein’ by mary shelley also makes me cry- it is also about loneliness, heartbreak, grief. and I feel so profoundly glad whenever I cry at a novel- it makes me feel human and connected to something and someone else and so relieves that ache of isolation. virginia woolf uses language in intricate and lovely ways too- ‘to the lighthouse’ and ‘orlando’ have such an innate musicality to them, they cut deep to what it is like to live and be alive. ‘jane eyre’ by charlotte bronte too, as well as ‘david copperfield’ by dickens and ‘adam bede’ by george eliot. they are long novels, and require patience and a little love, but perhaps finding a book like that might help relieve that ache for you too.

find a dream-like corner someplace quiet, light a candle, absorb yourself in someone else’s world and their troubles. please be kind to yourself, truly; you won’t feel like this forever. I promise you are not alone, and you may come and talk to me anytime, I promise I shall pay extra care to my inbox and private messages from now on. you have my sympathy and love and friendship if you need it angel ♡

the signs summed up, from my personal experiences with them

Aries: Spring and Fireworks together, somehow. But they're all of the new, exciting parts of spring, none of the soft, pretty parts. They are life, new life. Young souls. Usually very funny, laugh at a lot of things, and don't get embarrassed easily. Usually make great leaders when they can pay attention for long enough, especially if it involves a cause with passion, but they bore easily if the experience is not new. They fizzle out quickly, which makes them seem angry and volatile at times. Need to constantly be Doing something. Very physical energy. Can be indecisive, especially when bored. They don't linger on the past; only move forward into the new. They don't tend to hold grudges. Blood in the Cut by K. Flay. A little bit egotistical, but they also can laugh at themselves. Quick anger; explosive, but not lasting. The embodiment of Mars. Flashy and powerful.

Taurus: Earthy; almost doe-like. Innocent. Unintentionally hilarious, usually in a very cute, charming way. Very reliable and consistent. Stubborn, sometimes to a fault - they've found what they like, they've found what works, and that's that on that; don't waste their time. They like to take things slow. They don't tend to worry about things that don't matter / infringe on their happiness. They like the simple, beautiful pleasures in life; they like being comfortable, and living in luxury. Deep, solid, Venus energy. Over and Over by Tullio. Prone to laziness if they are not careful, but they are also consistent in the work they do. Their anger is rigid, but not bitter, and not fire-y. They do not hold grudges; they'll charge, and forget why they charged two minutes later. Often can laugh at themselves.

Gemini: The definition of adaptable. The chameleons of the zodiac. Quite chaotic. Generally unattached to most things, but fascinated by all things. Tend to be fantastic storytellers through acting. The fun side of Mercury. Amazing at holding conversations. Karma Chameleon by Boy George. Quirky; oftentimes have a difficult time sitting still, due to their constant need to "drift." Always up for a good time. The person that you lose track of time talking to. Don't take themselves too seriously, and will admire you if you can one-up them at their own game. Never offended. Masters of shade, oftentimes without anyone else realizing it. Quite content with having their own inside jokes with themselves. Generally entertained by others, which makes them social, even if they're not necessarily emotionally involved. Have very original thoughts. Geniuses, but can't always organize their own ideas, or say them in a way that make sense. Don't need to be seen or heard by others to feel validated, but do need to be engaged in some way, socially.

Cancer: Gentle, understanding, compassionate. Easily nurture others, and know exactly when it is needed. Associated with the moon and the mother. Soft, but not fragile. Very solid and reliable. Are You Alright by Lucinda Williams. Make for good instigators of things, due to their cardinal energy - are likely the friends to take the lead, if a lead should be taken - but they'll do so in a graceful and tactful way. Can be withdrawn, surprisingly, and prone to social exhaustion quickly. Sensitive to vibes of the environment, especially of the home. Empathetic. Can sense when someone is "off" emotionally, and are likely to ask you about it. Offer hugs, but don't want them in return. They want to nurture, but not be nurtured, or they'll withdraw.

Leo: Pride, nobility, courage. Roar loudly and proudly. Don't Rain On My Parade by Barbra Streisand. Feel fulfilled by being the "light" in the room, and the center of it. Shameless in this; finds shame distasteful. A maned aristocrat. The Sun. Unyielding in their opinions. Will charge and kill, and will not hold back once they've decided to do so. Loyal to their loved ones, and are likely the first ones to stand up for you. Like to show off, and like to show you off, too, if you're in a relationship with them. A bit grandiose; can be jokers. Thrive off of others looking at them. They will love you if you love them. No pretense with them. Ignoring them is one of the worst things you can do to them. Usually appear "large" and take up a lot of space; they have a presence. They could pull Apollo's chariots. Always have the last word; you will not "win" an argument with them.

Virgo: The fixers. Both perfectionists and chaotic. Generally fit in where ever they are, due to their mutable energy. Obsessions by MARINA. Very tasteful; not promiscuous. Have a pure light about them that makes them seem "untainted" by the world around them, despite any hardships they might have endured. Mercurial, conversational, oftentimes make for exceptional writers. Similar to Gemini, but if Gemini were more grounded. Observant about others, but not always necessarily about themselves. Probably well read, even if they can't remember from which book their facts are coming from. Can be at odds with themselves often, due to their dual need for material success / values, and their simultaneously floaty, dreamy energy. Can be very self critical, and prone to anxiety, especially if things are not in order. Like things resolved, and will obsess if they are not. Often the nerd friends. Dabbled in a lot, and know about a lot. Usually very successful, even if they don't want grandiose things. May struggle with self image, or some form of dysphoria. Soft hearted.

Libra: The diplomats, the judges. Very graceful; love to be comfortable and stylish. A little bit shady, but you have to look hard to see this, as it will be disguised in tact. Charming, with soft eyes. Venus energy, but a bit more forward and extroverted than Taurus. Vogue by Madonna. Have a tendency to mirror who they are communicating with. Social, usually good at taking lead, and at communicating your thoughts back to you in a way that makes sense to all. Mediators. Fascinated with relationships between people, and enjoy observing / talking about them. Oftentimes romantic, but can bore easily. Flirts. A little vain. Very into looks and appearances, due to the artistic influence of Venus. Interested in what you have to say, and in hearing all viewpoints, so they can judge which is the just one. See the light and dark of most situations, and the beauty in both. Find disharmony abhorrent; will oftentimes hide their true anger at a situation because of this. Will bend over backwards to try and understand others and their situations; will find it unjust if the same treatment is not given to them. Can be ruthless in their judgments, especially if they perceive injustice. Are usually forgiving if you've wronged them in some way and attempted to reconcile. Social; easy to get along with and talk to. Could be ambassadors for humanity.

Scorpio: Powerful, perceptive. Dark, mysterious. Observant; probably the most observant of all of the signs. Terrible Thing by AG. Can be quite funny, and have a weird sense of humor that seems uncharacteristic. They do not reveal information unless absolutely critical; power through knowledge is of utmost importance to them. Incredibly sharp and remember conversations from five years ago that seem meaningless to you. Everlasting souls. You likely will not forget these people, and they won't forget you, either. Unyielding and relentless, but also crafty. Probably have a number of topics that they've researched extensively, and could easily write a thesis on, but instead let only hints of said information out occasionally. Deep, transformative. Somehow the Scorpion and the Eagle in one. There is a sense that they will be the last ones standing. Reliable; they will never flake. They want to know everything about you. Their observations about things are masterful, poetic, and unbelievably perceptive. Emotional, but not open about this, and not necessarily empathetic. A deep focus, and sometimes there is a tendency to hyperfixate.

Sagittarius: Very lucky. Fun; an all around great time. Probably not good at holding alcohol. High Hopes by Panic! At the Disco. Are the most likely of your friends to end up in an obscure bar at 4am, dancing on tables. Will fight at all times, but will also laugh quickly after fighting. Chaotic, but somehow always survives every situation unscathed. Love to travel, and are probably well traveled, or have dreams of doing so. Curious about everything; very easy to talk to because of this. Have a lot of various interests that may make them seem flighty, but it is simply because they are infatuated with the world. Overstimulated easily; very physical. Will never judge you for anything. Probably have laughter that is infectious. Have a somewhat humorous quality about them. Can be egotistical, but are usually good-natured, too. There is a sense that they are good friends, and a deep positivity around being with them. They have their own backs.

Capricorn: Organized, classy, powerful, or crave becoming powerful. Very earthy, but the part of earth that makes diamonds. Disciplined, due to Saturn being their ruler. Have dreams rooted in either material possessions and wealth, or status through other means, but want to get there through hard work, and all on their own. We Have It All by Pim Stones. Never want to count on others, but you can count on them to be reliable and to give you practical, good advice. Usually very good at gift giving. Prone to being critical, but it is always to help you, and well intentioned. Both crave status and feel unworthy of status. Admire those with status. Care very deeply, but may have a hard time showing it. Prideful. They don't hold grudges. They somehow make practicality look artful. Structured, responsible. Somewhat of traditionalists at heart. Probably very family oriented, and "tough love" nurturers, but are also appropriately nurturing.

Aquarius: The politicians, the humanitarians, the executives. Probably philanthropists, or would make good ones. Water bearers; they bear the "life" of the world and its answers, and are here to communicate that with us. Quite social, yet emotionally disconnected. Higher Love by Kygo & Whitney Houston. Can seem distant; they see the problems of any given situation or initiative easily, and know exactly how to communicate fixing those, but in an unemotional way. Speaking with the masses is what they are best at. They seem almost other-worldly, or above everyone, because of this. They usually make successful CEOs. A misfit, in the best of ways. They tend to have reasons for everything they do. Fun and open-minded, they love to goof off, but surprisingly tend to have a stubborn streak due to their fixed modality. Very hard to win a debate against them; they can probably sway you in their direction, since it is always logical and well reasoned. Intellectuals. A little unusual, but not in the quirky way that Gemini is; more because they stand out as very intelligent leaders. Charismatic. Social. A little "zany" because of their air. Have a sense of "unease" or sudden movement about them, due to the unexpected, restless energy of Uranus.

Pisces: Always seem to be drifting; quirky, probably funny in that way. Very dreamy. Loving souls; very soft. Tend to be introverted and artistic. They are curious about intuitive, creative ventures, such as acting, painting, writing, musical instruments or music. Talented at such things. Very good at reading emotions, and are usually also affected by them, too. Can get overstimulated very easily. Empaths. Love involving themselves in people and situations in the same way that Gemini does, and are adaptable, but very emotionally sensitive. May even be emotionally volatile or unpredictable due to this. Their intuition is other-worldly. They are the oldest signs in the zodiac, and probably seem psychic, or are, in many ways. Have a sense of living many past lives about them. Blowing Kisses in the Wind by Paula Abdul. Usually very content with being in their own heads. Visual or auditory thinkers. Sometimes have synesthesia. Have a hard time staying "rooted" because of all of the amazing worlds they see, outside of our own immediate one. The dreamers, the psychics. Neptune, associated with illusion and dreams. Make for excellent storytellers, and usually lead by example, rather than by communication. Have a way of understanding the universe that is unique and unlike any other.

Why Jonsa does not work in the books.

This post is where starts the conflict. Jonsa thoughs. My toughts.

What makes a lot o people ship Jon x Sansa is because of the show, and I can understand it. Ship what you want. It's your right.

It does not mean that people can lie about what happens in the books, or what is cannon by GrrM himself.

D&D gave part of Arya's history and traits to Sansa in the show. Fact.

Jeyne Poole was using Arya's name. She was the one that was abused by Ramsay Balton. This false Arya was the one that the North went into a War, and the one that made Jon Snow break his vows. It was not Sansa who Jon fought and died for.

Ship what you want. You are free to ship. Making paralelles about Cat and Ned with Jonsa. Okay. I am a Jonrya shipper. I make parallels of Jonrya and Lyanna/Rhaegar and Alyssane/Jaehaerys. We are passionate shippers after all, in a fandom where morality is not a big deal the most part of time. You have a mean to make your point, then use it.

But whatever. GrrM said that the show and the books are like different universes. Words of the author. You can't discuss that.

What I can NOT take is people lying about canonic things, and my mind explodes when I read a lot of lies of the books to justify Jonsa.

Like Sansa is Jon's type. Like Jon remembers of Sansa when he met Ygritte. Like Jon and Sansa were always close. Lies!

He compares Ygritte to Arya, tought he addmit they don't even look alike, he never, never tought about Sansa while with Ygritte. He compares Val to Arya.

"They had always been close. Jon had their father’s face, as she did. They were the only ones. Robb and Sansa and Bran and even little Rickon all took after the Tullys, with easy smiles and fire in their hair. When Arya had been little, she had been afraid that meant that she was a bastard too. It had been Jon she had gone to in her fear, and Jon who had reassured her." (Jon, A Game of Thrones).

"And Arya … he missed her even more than Robb, skinny little thing that she was, all scraped knees and tangled hair and torn clothes, so fierce and willful. Arya never seemed to fit, no more than he had … yet she could always make Jon smile. He would give anything to be with her now, to muss up her hair once more and watch her make a face, to hear her finish a sentence with him." (Jon, A Game of Thrones)

"The memory of her laughter warmed him on the long ride north." (Jon, A Game of Thrones) 

"Gods of my fathers, protect these men. And Arya too, my little sister, wherever she might be. I pray you, let Mance find her and bring her safe to me." (Jon, A Dance with Dragons)

"Bring her home, Mance. I saved your son from Melisandre, and now I am about to save four thousand of your free folk. You owe me this one little girl." (Jon, A Dance with Dragons)

“I have no sister.” The words were knives.

"The girl smiled in a way that reminded Jon so much of his little sister that it almost broke his heart." (Jon, A Dance with Dragon)

"What do you know of my heart, priestess? What do you know of my sister? "(Jon, A Dance with Dragons)

The Ygritte comparation:

“Jon could see fear and fire in her eyes. Blood ran down her white throat from where the point of his dirk had pricked her. One thrust and it’s done, he told himself. He was so close he could smell onion on her breath. She is no older than I am. Something about her made him think of Arya, though they looked nothing at all alike. “Will you yield?” he asked, giving the dirk a half turn. And if she doesn’t?” - Jon VI, ACoK 

“Ygritte watched and said nothing. She was older than he’d thought at first, Jon realized; maybe as old as twenty, but short for her age, bandy-legged, with a round face, small hands, and a pug nose. Her shaggy mop of red hair stuck out in all directions. She looked plump as she crouched there, but most of that was layers of fur and wool and leather. Underneath all that she could be as skinny as Arya.” - Jon VI, ACoK

“Ygritte trotted beside Jon as he slowed his garron to a walk. She claimed to be three years older than him, though she stood half a foot shorter; however old she might be, the girl was a tough little thing. Stonesnake had called her a “spearwife” when they’d captured her in the Skirling Pass. She wasn’t wed and her weapon of choice was a short curved bow of horn and weirwood, but “spearwife” fit her all the same. She reminded him a little of his sister Arya, though Arya was younger and probably skinnier. It was hard to tell how plump or thin Ygritte might be, with all the furs and skins she wore.” - Jon II, ASoS

“If you kill a man, and never mean t’, he’s just as dead,” Ygritte said stubbornly. Jon had never met anyone so stubborn, except maybe for his little sister Arya. Is she still my sister? he wondered. Was she ever?” - Jon III, ASoS

When he received the letter of Ramsay

"Jon saw no reason not to tell him. “Moat Cailin is taken. The flayed corpses of the ironmen have been nailed to posts along the kingsroad. Roose Bolton summons all leal lords to Barrowton, to affirm their loyalty to the Iron Throne and celebrate his son’s wedding to…” His heart seemed to stop for a moment. No, that is not possible. She died in King’s Landing, with Father."

"Jon could almost see her in that moment, long-faced and gawky, all knobby knees and sharp elbows, with her dirty face and tangled hair. They would wash the one and comb the other, he did not doubt, but he could not imagine Arya in a wedding gown, nor Ramsay Bolton’s bed. No matter how afraid she is, she will not show it. If he tries to lay a hand on her, she’ll fight him."

"His fingers closed around the parchment. Would that they could crush Ramsay Bolton’s throat as easily." (Jon, a Dance with Dragons).

"Jon felt as stiff as a man of sixty years. Dark dreams, he thought, and guilt. His thoughts kept returning to Arya. There is no way I can help her. I put all kin aside when I said my words. If one of my men told me his sister was in peril, I would tell him that was no concern of his. Once a man had said the words his blood was black. Black as a bastard’s heart. He’d had Mikken make a sword for Arya once, a bravo’s blade, made small to fit her hand. Needle. He wondered if she still had it. Stick them with the pointy end, he’d told her, but if she tried to stick the Bastard, it could mean her life." (Jon, A Dance with Dragons).

• In books the quote “Love is the death of duty” by Maester Aemon is used when Jon decidesld break his vows from nights watch to save “Arya”. Arya is the character Jon loves the most and he thinks on her in every moment.

He dies thinking about Arya:

"Jon fell to his knees. He found the dagger’s hilt and wrenched it free. In the cold night air the wound was smoking. “Ghost,” he whitspered. Pain washed over him. Stick them with the pointy end. When the third dagger took him between the shoulder blades, he gave a grunt and fell face-first into the snow. He never felt the fourth knife. Only the cold…" (Jon, A Dance with Dragons).

George's Interviews:

“At some points, when [Game of Thrones showrunners David Benioff and Dan Weiss] and I had discussions about what way we should go in, I would always favor sticking with the books, while they would favor making changes,” he said. “I think one of the biggest ones would probably be when they made the decision not to bring Catelyn Stark back as Lady Stoneheart. That was probably the first major diversion of the show from the books and, you know, I argued against that, and David and Dan made that decision.” - Time Magazine, 2017

“You have to remember that I started writing this story in 1991 and I first met David and Dan in 2007. I was living with these characters and this world for 16 years before we even started working on the show. They’re pretty fixed in my mind and I’m not going to change anything because of the show, or reaction to the show, or what fans think. I’m just still writing the story that I set out to write in the early 1990s.” - Time Magazine, 2017

My conclusion:

Like I said before. You are free to ship everyone, but not lie about Canon things written by George RR Mantin himself. This is the canonic verse. Jon and Samsa rarely think of each other. Sansa was always distant from him, she regreats it later, but still is a fact. I am not an anti-Sansa. She is not my favorite, i addmit, but anti, for me, is somente idiot that says stupid arguements with insults just to put another character in glory, only because they dislike another, and even refuse to aguement as adults. In another words, those antis are childsh.

There is a lot of people saying that Jon would be good for Sansa and take him out of her is something cruel, as everything that is good for her is fanservice. We agree in disagree. There is no way we could try taking Jon from Sansa, if he was not hers in first place. Like I said, they rarely think of each other, she bullied him when they lived together, she kept distance following Cat's personal opinion. Sansa's fault? No. She was a child seeing her mother's opinions, and following it. It does not change what she have done. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that Jon hates her, but the memories he shares with Sansa during his childhood are not the best. It doesn't mean they won't get along. They will! Of course they will, by all they could know, they would be the lasts of the Starks alive. Sansa might go to Winterfell in TWoW before Arya. Would they get closer? Probably. Will they share the same bond showned on TV show? No. This is bad for her? No. She would be home, with her family. This is bad to you? Sounds terrible? Does it sounds harsh?

Like, other thing that I hate about Jonsa-stans (just a part of them) justifies that she needs someone to make her happy. With all respect, if you think this way about Sansa, you do not like her. Not really. Sansa is much more complex of a character to say that only a romantic relationship with a man could make her happy. She does not need someone else in a romantic way to make her happy. She passed through a hell in King's Landing, and Petyr actions with her can be described only as disgusting. To say the only good thing that could happen to her is a man, you are reducing her character to a simple one. Everything she wants it's to go home. She is smart, kind and clever. Sansa is making Petyr Baelish play in her hands. I don't want Sansa to end up alone. She deserves a lot. She is really strong, in so many ways. Her strengh is not like Arya, Ygritte or Val. It's subtle and delicate, like Margaery in someway. Sansa deserves a man who respects her, a man who loves her with all his heart, a man that carries for her the same way Jon carries for Arya. Uconditionally.

Other thing that I hear is that Jonsa stans always says that, we, Arya-stans, look to Jonsa as threat to Arya, and we all get mad about it. I can't talk in the name of the others. For me, fuck the show. I don't care. I don't even look at the show as part of GrrM work anymore. But what gets me mad as an Arya stan, and a Jonrya shipper is not Jonsa itself. They had chemistry on screen, but in the books they don't have any of it. This is what gets me mad.

It's trying to stole something that belongs to Jon and Arya alone that gets me mad. One of the strongest and purest bonds I have ever seen in books or screen. It doesn't belong to Sansa all this devotion. It's not canon in the books, and annoys me to see tons of people lying and self inserting Sansa in Jon's heart just because they want the books to happen the same way in the show. Forget it. It's not going to happen. A lot of other characters and relationships have been destroyed by D&D, not only Jon & Arya. Write and read fanfics. Ship whatever the hell you want, but don't lie about cononic things. If Jon and Arya get along as a romantic couple or not, does not change that this bond is theirs. Sansa has her own history in the books. Her own importance. She wil be part to take Winterfell back, not the same way she did on the show, but she will be a big part of it. And she is a Stark! The end! Sansa is a southern lady in many ways, but she is Sansa Stark and a princess by her own right, dammit! She says it herself that her strengh comes from the walls within Winterfell!

Thank you to read. I have to be greatful to another posts that helped me to write it. I have to say sorry about my grammar. English is not my first language, but I hope what I wrote was clear to understand. See you soon.

2019 has been a year for me, it's been filled with firsts and surprises and set backs and heart break and it has opened my eyes.

This year

My older sister and one of my older brothers both got married and my big sister moved away I can't Express enough how happy and proud I am of her for following her heart and ignoring the haters and how much I love and miss her but I'm happy she's happy and the same for my big brother he met the love of his life and they got married and I'm happy and proud of him and love him even though we bump heads a lot 😂.

I have started tharapy for my depression and anxiety and I am lucky enough to say I found an amazing tharapist the first time round she is wonderful and amazing and beautiful and I can't thank her enough for everything she's done and is still doing for me, she honestly cares about her clients and she's funny so thank you universe for giving me her in my life.

I'm also on medication for my depression and anxiety and honestly I hate meditation and I'm hoping that 2020 will be a better year and I can work on my self a lot so I can take down my medication so here's a new year's resolution lmao.

I got a new baby sister and I love her and honestly she is the light of my life she always makes me smile and laugh and happy and makes me feel better when I'm at my worst she helps me want to live and encourages me to keep going I literally cannot Express how much I love this baby girl I always wanted another baby sibling and I got one and secretly always wanted another baby sister she is literally my sunshine and she saved me.

I rediscovered my love for reading and have so many good books this year, there has been a couple series that have been life changing for me one of them is the shadowhunter chronicles and it has made me a better person had helped me grow as a person has showed me that love and family and friends and your unique talents are the most important and that being your true self is more important then anything and has taught me that I may be small but I can do bigger things then I could ever imagine it has taught me that who your family is is not who you are that who your father was is not going to define you only you can do that and that love is stronger than anything and once have it don't let it go and that we don't choose who we fall in love with and that it's the hardest yet most worth it thing you'll ever find and it doesn't matter what kind of love it is romantic or platonic or important to you it has taught me I shouldn't be ashamed of who I am and that my past is a part of me but doesn't define my future and to not change for anyone and game of thrones has had an impact on my life it has taught me the same things as the shadowhunter chronicles but a big lesson from both is that people are not black and white they're gray we make good decisions we make bad and that's what makes us human we love who we love and will do whatever it costs and make selfish decisions but again that is human, they both have taught me that you should put family first that you should protect them at all costs and it has taught me that sometimes you have to sacrifice yourself for them and honestly I can't think of a better way to live life, to love fiercely, to love with your whole self they have taught me that sometimes you have to break to become who you're really supposed to be and that breaking down and feeling emotions doesn't make you weak and honestly I could go on and on about this but then we might have chapters worth of writing and to add one more thing they have honestly made me want to live and have saved my life. So thank you Cassandra clare and George r r Martin for writing your stories and inspiring young people like me.

Ok this is a hard thing to talk about and I am not looking for attention cause if you truly know me then you know I don't like to be in the spot light, I don't like to make it all about me and I don't like to lead vary much but I have to vary often but anyways, this year in july was a hard month for me my depression and anxiety and suicidal thoughts were the worst they have ever been and one of the things my tharapist has encouraged me to do is share my story and so here we are I attempted suicide and was taken to the hospital where there took me to a place called the calm center and that was the start of my life changing journey I spent a week at the calm center and met people who were going through the same stuff i was I made good friends but sadly we lost touch cause we're not allowed to share personal information but they will always play a part in my life and I will never forget them and since then I have started tharapy and have gotten so much better and in a better spot and I have made so many friends online who are the most amazing and I love them they play a huge part in my life and my family I am happy I can say are the most supportive and accepting of this whole thing and I couldn't be more thankful for them my mom is the strongest person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing she has raised me to be the same I just didn't always realize her way of doing it so the reason I'm strong is because I'm being raised by one of the strongest person I know and I love her more then I could ever tell her in words I couldn't have made it as far as I have without her she's my biggest fan. And my step dad has had a huge impact on my like he has taught me how a real man should act and how you should be honest and truthful and that you should stand up for yourself and that you can love children who aren't your own and them still be like their your own he is vary important in my life we bump heads but I love him and couldn't imagine my life without him in it. So getting back the incident I have struggled with self harming as well for years just hid it vary well until recently but like I said I'm in a better place but this is always going to be a hard thing to talk about so please have understanding and compassion for me and don't press the hate button.

And this is not even all of it but some of it I can't share just yet but I can say is that I'm following my dreams and that my family is growing which I love and that I'm growing as a person more and more everyday and I'm still finding out who I am everyday and you are to so be kind to yourself take time for yourself and take care of yourself and be healthy, eat healthy, exercise even if it's just taking a walk, drank water, eat even if you hate it like I do on most days you need it and you deserve it you don't need to exercise to earn food remember that and try to love yourself even though it's one of the hardest things to do and it takes the longest to accept yourself the way you are and love yourself which is why I want to encourage you to take care of yourself and to be kinder and more compassionate to love harder let these be your new year's resolution and just be better and let yourself grow.

One of my new year's resolution Is to try to start writing everyday and to keep on growing and let's stop spreading hate and being rude and remember it's ok to have your own opinion and to dislike something or someone but it is not ok to bully someone to hate on someone to spread hate in their safe spaces and to make them feel like their worthless and like their shit for like it and so if you don't like please be respectful of the people who do and let's try to understand that there are boundaries to not cross hurting other people in order to make yourself feel better is not okay so let's have 2020 be a year with more love and compassion and kindness and empathy, cause the world is already mean and unkind enough and so vary hateful and harmful so let's try to make a difference this year and also let's try to use more reusable things in 2020 and do better for the environment and this world let's save our oceans and sea creatures and animals cause they are beautiful and have a place on this earth just as much as we do and they deserve love as well I don't know about you but I love animals and it hurts me when I see them abused or hurt because they are lovely and don't deserve that let's be better, let's be the change, let's be the beautiful and remember you are beautiful and wonderful and amazing and deserving of love and deserving of happiness.

So from the bottom of my heart let 2020 be better year and a better mental health year for everyone and let's be better this new year.

With love and peace becca lynn. ❤🖤🧡🌙🌠🌑

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [okay so we said that JJ have gone to get the PE shit and are casually having a 🚬 and the teacher is like go see what the hold up is and Ella volunteers cos 1000% that bitch and she of course starts a vague rumour about them being saucy with it] Janis: are the boys saying shit Jimmy: what kind of question's that? Janis: fuck's sake Janis: right, how do you wanna deal from your end Janis: 'cos you can say shit or you can slag me off like you'd never, either way, your move, new boy Jimmy: how do you want me to? Jimmy: I could give a shit what gets said about me Janis: alright, just say nothing then Janis: I'll deck her Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hardly Jimmy: nowt close to a challenge my end Jimmy: and it ain't like you'll have one flooring her Janis: still can't get her to take it back Janis: have to force feed her or some shit for that Jimmy: and what? you've got a missus waiting at home that'll be 💔 you were at it with someone else in the sport's cupboard? Janis: Fuck off Janis: if I've got to explain sexism to you then cba Janis: no one's chatting shit on your name like they are mine Jimmy: I bet lasses are, 'cause I shouldn't have touched you with a barge pole or some bollocks Jimmy: hang on, I'll check Jimmy: [DMs] Janis: and what? Janis: I didn't start it, take it up with Blondie Jimmy: I don't care what any dickhead in this shithole reckons, it's your problem if you do Jimmy: that's what Janis: Don't need your groundbreaking hot take to know that, tah Jimmy: stop whinging at me then, tah Janis: I ain't, do one Janis: I was checking you weren't making it worse for me, that's it Jimmy: job done Jimmy: and there'll be a new #scandal tomorrow so no need to check in with me again Janis: you reckon, new boy? Janis: you'll be lucky if another kid joins before you leave yourself Jimmy: I'll be leaving myself soon as Jimmy: you'll be lucky if it ain't you and 👑💀 stuck doing the project Janis: mistaking me for the bitch that cares about her A Jimmy: nah, I weren't Jimmy: the 😎 ain't prescription Janis: i'd get her to spread that it is Janis: don't wanna shout about how that look is a choice Jimmy: you ain't that bad that I feel the need, looks wise at least Janis: great Jimmy: any road, my brother's deaf, if I start spreading that shit about they'll be asking my sister if she's got a fake leg or some bollocks Jimmy: be a bit rude to her Janis: I'm not gonna chat shit on your unfortunate genetics, don't worry Janis: can't rival mine anyway Jimmy: @iantaylor8 if you wanna have a go Janis: unless he has his own law firm, I'm not bothered Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: obviously, we had a great time amongst the unwashed bibs and muddy footballs Jimmy: surprised she could get the door open Jimmy: 💀💪 Janis: got that burst of adrenaline knowing she'd get extra treats from her master for it Janis: could've been in there alone, obviously helps other people give more of a fuck that it was you Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: so yeah, it is your fault, cheers Jimmy: didn't send myself or force you to have that 🚬 off me, mate Janis: not my go-to defense story Janis: crying rape might seem kinda cute but I'm alright Jimmy: funny Jimmy: you ain't that cute I NEED to fuck you mid P.E Janis: oh no Janis: let me go cry into the nearest 🏀 Jimmy: the mats would be a better shout, they've managed all that 💦 Janis: oh yeah, bring up the mats Janis: not heard enough about what a romantic setting they are Jimmy: soz, next time I'll assault you in the 🚽 Janis: even better Janis: I'll just stay in there and set up shop Jimmy: 💕 Janis: should've picked an option with a racket Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: work too, fair heft behind that Jimmy: bit of class an' all Jimmy: rich girl won't have nowt to whinge about Janis: 'cos I've proved well classy Jimmy: will do with a full orchestra behind your rampage Janis: I'll find a music nerd in these DMs Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: beats Mia suing me 'cos I killed her girlfriend Jimmy: another'd spawn from Mia's rib or some bollocks Jimmy: she'd be alright Jimmy: if she don't regurgitate one like a 🐍 jaw unhinged Janis: 🐑 don't baa on the way out, new boy Janis: ask my sister Jimmy: You're alright, I'd rather not talk to her Janis: wow Janis: same Jimmy: 😱😱😱 OMG Jimmy: no wonder every dickhead thinks we're love's young dream Janis: yeah, she's SUCH a delight, everyone else 💘s her Jimmy: obvs Janis: you're new, so I'll let you off for not being up enough on the gossip this once Jimmy: tah Jimmy: so generous, you Janis: apparently so Jimmy: go on, what do you want me to do Janis: ? Jimmy: you're that 💔 Janis: you can't do fuck all Janis: even if I were Jimmy: Why can't I? Janis: what's to do Janis: they chat shit 'cos they got none of their own Janis: none as interesting as what they wanna gob off about anyway Jimmy: I dunno, that's why I asked Jimmy: but alright Janis: just forget about it 'til they do, like you said Jimmy: nowt to bother remembering Janis: not a diss, just factual so Janis: yeah Jimmy: bet Ella counts her 🚬 Janis: easier habit to hide when you have to brush your teeth at least ten times a day Jimmy: got something else to blame when they go yellow and fall out an' all Janis: set of falsies is the way to go Janis: off and on again whenever you need to purge Janis: I'll float it Jimmy: shame she don't do lads Jimmy: that's a kink right there Janis: she definitely does Janis: that's why this is bullshit Janis: does whatever 💀👑 needs her to Jimmy: I'll live without hearing about them threesomes Janis: grim Jimmy: they still ain't welcome up north Janis: 💔 how will they cope Jimmy: idk idc obvs babes Janis: 🤮🤮🤮 Jimmy: go ahead and spread that about as your official ™ reaction to my 😘 Janis: no one cares if you were good, new boy Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: that'll be why my inbox is full Janis: your inbox is full because a. people think you're good as is b. they wanna know if I am Jimmy: if they reckon I'm good they care enough to have thought about it Janis: alright, they're well concerned Janis: if you need 'em to be Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you ain't concerned about what I do or don't need Janis: nah, I'm not Janis: just a weird hill to live and die on Jimmy: would be if it were the one I were on Janis: 👍 Janis: just saying, no one is concerning themselves if I had a good time or not Jimmy: I heard you Janis: alright Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: later Janis: [actually later, like a lesson or so whatever] Janis: do you know George Daley? Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos I wanna know if he's telling the truth or not Jimmy: about what? Janis: apparently you told him loads of extra details he was loudly telling his mates Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: new boy, remember Janis: he's not also saying you're best friends Jimmy: I'm saying I've said nowt Jimmy: piss off Janis: okay Janis: you're marginally more plausible than him so take your word Jimmy: I'll take my 🏆 soon as you've engraved it Janis: don't get ahead of yourself Janis: either your imagination is lacking or it's his Janis: and I know you're WELL artistic so Jimmy: alright, stop flirting with me Janis: how many more girls need to tell you that's disgusting Jimmy: how many lasses are in this school? Janis: ha Janis: know they don't do royalty in the north, even they ain't that thick Janis: come up with a new bit probably Jimmy: 👌 Janis: send you his socials if you wanna smack him down Jimmy: go on then Janis: [does] Janis: he's the least attractive one in the groupshot, go figure Jimmy: the 🦐 looking twat? Jimmy: alright Janis: 😂 Janis: good shout Janis: fits with your fish kink Jimmy: What lesson you in? Janis: Physics Jimmy: that's [a classroom/ lab number situ, don't get lost boy] ? Janis: next one along Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [shows up and decks this boy so that all kicks off] Janis: [dramaaaaaaa] Jimmy: [enjoy the show bitches] Janis: [what are you gonna make of that, ladies, when it looks like you're defending her honour instead of your own] Jimmy: [when you lowkey are though, we see you boy] Janis: [we all do, not her though so it's fine] Jimmy: [literally been here no time Jimothy, casual crush at first sight okay then] Janis: [we know you're both hot no hiding from that] Janis: how much trouble you get in? Jimmy: You've been here longer than me, have a guess Janis: 🤔🤔 Janis: depends how much of a good mood the head was in 🥴 Jimmy: ☕ were half full Jimmy: might be 🥃🥃 or 🥃🥃🥃 depending on his measures Janis: either way, bet you have to write him an apology Janis: always make you do that Jimmy: [shows her his 🦐 doodles all over said apology] Jimmy: ✔ Janis: 😏 sincere Jimmy: Am I supposed to invite him out for a 🦐🍛 or what? Janis: no Janis: he'll 😢 and with his eye how it is now, might explode from the pressure Jimmy: can either handle a #ladsnightout or you can't Janis: poor shrimpy Janis: he looks better for the swelling, honestly Jimmy: might write me a thank you note Jimmy: been after a pen pal Jimmy: 💕 Janis: figures Jimmy: ? Janis: artistic Janis: prefer 🖋 over 🗣 Jimmy: nah, just northern Jimmy: can barely write and I need the practice Janis: tell the head that, she can tell her bosses, and they'll get you out of detention Jimmy: 👍 Janis: success story ⭐ Jimmy: my dad will be dead proud Janis: buzzing Jimmy: what am I missing then? Janis: a sense of purpose? Janis: your keys? Janis: what? Jimmy: what 🗨 dickhead Janis: oh, what shrimpdick said? Janis: just more bollocks than I'd heard already Janis: if it were bad before, it's 💘 now Jimmy: you could've said 💀👑 were in there Janis: how was I supposed to know you'd show up Jimmy: what did you think I were gonna do? Janis: well, see him after school sounds a bit gay but Janis: not barge in to a lesson, obviously Jimmy: yeah I asked you for directions I weren't gonna use Janis: I thought you were bullshitting Jimmy: you're alright, there's nobody about to see me 😭 Janis: probably work in our favour once everyone else calms down Janis: reckons we're both gay so Janis: let her do the work with the 🗨 Jimmy: what were it you said? buzzing Jimmy: that'll be me Janis: 👍 Janis: you didn't get in proper shit, did you Jimmy: What's proper shit? Janis: like excluded level Janis: anything below that, not saying sorry for your 😭 Jimmy: weren't after a sorry off you any road Janis: 💔 Jimmy: and I never hit him that hard Janis: I know Janis: but he's being a right tart about it Janis: make more sense if he was good looking to start with Jimmy: 🦐💔 Jimmy: you a vegetarian or what? Janis: hilarious 🙄 Jimmy: 🤡 me Jimmy: it were you who said it Janis: 'cos my taste borders outside aquatic, I'm gay now, alright Jimmy: nowt to do with me Jimmy: literally Janis: you asked Jimmy: nah Janis: you just curious about my dietary needs Jimmy: if that's a crime, give Mia's dad a bell Janis: 🤞💘 Janis: they're well pissed off rn, nothing else Jimmy: sod catholic school, don't even need it Jimmy: about to get into heaven off the back of that Janis: told 'em it weren't me that was getting #saved Jimmy: you wanna piss 'em off a bit more? Janis: obviously? Jimmy: Alright, what would? Jimmy: I'm here, you're there and we're 💕 Janis: you said no one's about? Jimmy: I did do Janis: a teachers showed? Jimmy: nah but that means they could in a bit Janis: fuck it Janis: hang on then Jimmy: 🤞💘 Janis: [ask for a pissbreak, go to whatever room this is and take a #goals selfie for the first time] Jimmy: [love that because it makes the fake dating less out of the blue as a request so well done lads] Janis: [you're welcome] Janis: get more ❤s than her she'll 💥 Jimmy: I'd say challenge accepted but it ain't one Janis: 🥺 when your boyfriend isn't as fit as you thought Jimmy: if you're doing that face since you've been back, you'll really sell the starcrossed lovers angle Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😒 translate just as well Jimmy: I get it, there's no oscar in your future Janis: fuck off Janis: it ain't hard Jimmy: couldn't hack the proposition of being in my ad, you Janis: that's different Janis: besides, tell me it won't be funnier to make her do it Jimmy: might be for the first 10 takes Janis: she gets to roleplay with daddy to rehearse she'll be 🏆 Jimmy: SUCH a romantic, you Janis: just want her to be happy, like Jimmy: fuck her, I'm giving you the 🏆 Janis: #blessed Jimmy: that's me, obvs Janis: no, you're #saved Janis: don't hog them all Jimmy: one #'s worth fuck all Jimmy: every dickhead knows you need to flood it Jimmy: bit biblical an' all, that Janis: you get sent her to get turned? Janis: hardcore conversion therapy Janis: here* Jimmy: not gay, just fit and mysterious Janis: 👌 Jimmy: gone right off 🐙🦑🦐🦞🦀🐡🐠🐟 but I don't reckon we can call that hardcore Jimmy: or much of a turn Janis: aren't supposed to eat shellfish actually, so God should be made up Jimmy: success story ⭐ Jimmy: like you said Janis: can go back to where you came from now Janis: in the nicest, non-racist way possible Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🙏* Jimmy: tah my dear Janis: not 👠👠 but you get what you pay for Jimmy: ain't my fault the tip jar's got nowt in Jimmy: @💀👑 Janis: I remember Jimmy: she ain't changed her ways or owt recently, funny that Janis: she needs the #bornagain Janis: thank fuck she ain't got a dog Jimmy: Oi, what's El if not a service 🐕? Janis: she walks herself enough though Jimmy: she does do laps round the table before she gets her ☕ Janis: not surprised Janis: beyond surprised she can still manage it without the heart attack, obvs Jimmy: 🙏* Janis: deal with the 😈 Janis: gotcha Jimmy: if you can say fuck it today, why not, like? Janis: decent tagline Janis: I'll put it on the site Jimmy: good shout Jimmy: I were gonna say if you need 📸 for it, give me a shout an' all Janis: like IOU one 💘 selfie? Jimmy: sir ain't getting my nudes that easy Janis: gutted Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: call it another deal with the 😈 if you want, mate, but I were being serious Jimmy: bagsied the 🎨 ages ago Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: was thinking, how do we piss her off more with this project Janis: without it being dead obvious that that's what we're doing Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: do you mean us or the #content? Janis: both Jimmy: what thoughts did you have? Janis: well, obviously we can't put in anything that she can run to sir with Janis: but, like the ad, you can edit it to be like one of those no win no fee things like you said Janis: shit like that Jimmy: Do you know what her dad actually looks like? Janis: hold on Janis: [finds his linkedin or whatever 'cos that bitch] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you reckon we could use his shit Janis: he has a website as well, can take bits of that as #inspiration Jimmy: few edits so it ain't LITERALLY his, bit of a parody, OMG she'll be fuming Janis: right, that's the VIBE Janis: could use his face but distort it, shadow it, put a bag over Janis: you know she'd know still Jimmy: I've been pissing about with hers an' all Jimmy: [shows her what he's been up to because he didn't have her father's deets] Janis: that's good Janis: on the same page on this one Janis: make 'em victims of medical negligence or something Janis: botched hair transplant Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: dickheads sometimes put a 👍 review of their website, happy clients that sort of bollocks Janis: right Janis: and if we make her the lawyer she wants to be Janis: can't really complain Jimmy: she can't but not to sir Jimmy: can* Janis: that's all I care about Janis: she ain't gonna stop COMING for me 😭 Jimmy: or her man for me 😱😱 Janis: soz I don't know what classes he takes so you can smack him and all Jimmy: he'll find me, unless they're both all mouth Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: *🤞 Janis: least the muscles are purely for show Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Janis: mhmm Jimmy: so complimentary, you Jimmy: I get why your inbox is full Janis: don't need to be Janis: I'm the 🏆 Jimmy: I'm taking back the one I gave you a bit ago for generosity or whatever bollocks it were Janis: I'll survive, mate Jimmy: 👌 dry your eyes and crack on Janis: enjoy your DMs Jimmy: Oi I'm illiterate remember, and there's no need to rub it in, Janet Janis: there'll be lots of pictures for you, no doubt Janis: get the gist real easy Jimmy: 🤤🤤😍😍 Jimmy: might be right about me being saved Janis: 😷 GROSS Jimmy: we'll both live Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: real tragedy that Jimmy: give it a few years to get on the English curriculum Janis: not that you'll ever know Jimmy: might still be trying to pass it Janis: awh Jimmy: *🤷 Janis: i'm well concerned about your education Jimmy: HANG ON, is this NERD FLIRTING?!! 💕🤓 Jimmy: I'd heard loads about it Janis: have to see what 💀👑 reckons Jimmy: I'll @ her Janis: she'll love that Jimmy: [does obviously and sends her whatever response] Janis: good to know she's SO on board with this 💘 Janis: have to keep it up if she's gonna be so 😭 😤 Jimmy: if she can't have us, next best, obvs Janis: now she knows how poor Ella feels Jimmy: what the fuck is going on there? Janis: if she ain't in love with her idk Janis: she don't need her to buy her shit Jimmy: I'll have to @ her an' all Janis: fill your boots sherlock Janis: 🤞 it's a death cult naturally, so they take my sister with 'em Jimmy: sounds like a bit of me, that Jimmy: gutted I pissed off their leader Janis: well, you want a new 👜 she'll take you in and make you pay with  🩸🥵😭 Jimmy: if it can start a gay teletubby scandal, might do something for me Janis: better rep than 💫💘 Janis: probably Jimmy: what ain't? Janis: cheer Janis: s Janis: not the only one with an inbox full of hilarious 'better' offers Jimmy: you wanna go from 😍😍 to 💀💀💀 in 3 days that's your shout Jimmy: be a record around here at any rate Janis: I'll just do one when you get mixed messages and top yourself Jimmy: take it up with the 'better' offers, more of 'em you can take out, the 'better' this shithole would be Janis: no shit, like Janis: not that much of a slag, sadly Jimmy: you called me Sherlock, pointing out the bloody obvious is my job done Janis: go shoot up and go to your mind palace, like Jimmy: not that much of a druggie, sadly Janis: letdown Janis: said you were 😎 Jimmy: 😎 by 💀👑 standards is bound to be a letdown by yours, Jules Janis: understatement Jimmy: alright, bighead Janis: coming from you, that's almost a compliment Jimmy: I know Jimmy: you can stop fishing now Janis: piss off Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 🖕🖕🖕 NEW BOY Jimmy: 💕 Janis: anything that reminds you of our glorious leader 😍 Jimmy: this teacher's ☕ breath is really doing it for me Janis: cruel and unusual punishment that Janis: tell socials you're being tortured Jimmy: start me a # Janis: #justiceforjimmy is catchy but you don't have a name so won't help Jimmy: @ Mia's dad for legal words beginning with n Jimmy: 🤞 he's got that far in the alphabet or you're on your own, girl Janis: I'll have to go for the cryptic #whereisnewboy Janis: not having 👀 on you must be well distressing for them anyway Jimmy: steady on though, sounds a bit like I've already ghosted you Jimmy: not very #goals that Janis: oh yeah Janis: 🐇🐇🐇 Jimmy: 🐇 on the boil or nowt Jimmy: 💀👑 rule 1 Janis: I'll think on it then 👻 boy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: #getghostboyout Janis: how long did you actually get in there? Jimmy: #bustoutghostboy Janis: lowkey suggestive Jimmy: 👻👻👻👻👻👻👻 Jimmy: right, they'll LOVE that Janis: [pisstakey socials] Jimmy: [replies that are lowkey suggestive because we know we've started something] Janis: [when you don't even know what you're doing but you're doing IT] Jimmy: [god bless you both]