11.02.23

edinburgh ! tysm for all the recs, i could only get to some in the 2 days we were there… the big stuff: arthur’s seat, edinburgh castle, (the audio tour was actually terrible) armchair books, golden hare books, dean village, the leith river walk, torn vintage, a super sweet cafe called grow urban… no surgeons hall or botanical gardens unfortunately :/// but my mom and i did get matching barbour waxed jackets, which i’ve been wanting for a while for the boston weather !

a perfect vacation after poland ☺️

🎧 : strained - no vacation

Half Love (Ch.6) - Shoot Your Shot

Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader ; Katie McGrath x Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n's relationship with Lizzie has been in a rough situation and goes downhill. What should Y/n do when there's no choice left to say and a new future opens up with someone new in it?

Warning: This is a collaboration book with my co-writer / friend @stonemags and it’s an 18+ series. Angst, angst, fluff, smut, and swearing words. I do not own any pictures, GIFs, name, brand, song titles and anything I use in this story.

A/n: Hello! I'm back from Covid's torture! Lol! Since I haven't update for a while, here is one from what I have ready in draft. More angst in the way. :D Happy reading!

Series Masterlist

It's been a few days since the rollercoaster of emotion day Lizzie had with you. She can’t stop thinking about everything that happened. She is flustered and hurt at the same time when she remembers how both of you shared a cake together yet end up with an argument with you, a painful one. It frustrates her that she didn’t even get a chance to ask for your number. It was a torture for her that she couldn’t contact you after you left. The fact that you didn’t even bother to contact her at all even though you have her number after that day, it crushes her even more. 

The busy week has started. It’s full of meetings, table readings and decision making for the filming plans in the last few days. You and Lizzie were exchanging polite hellos and how are you every now and then, but not an actual conversation. You try not to have any conversation with her.

Just like Lizzie, you were too caught up in the chaos of your feelings. Your brain is flooded with questions. Are you still mad at her? Can you forgive her? And the scariest question you had in mind’s do you still love her? You can’t believe that you even ask yourself that question. You know that this question is not even supposed to exist in your mind. It's been a year and a half since the break up and all of these questions have been screaming in your head since the moment you saw her on the first meeting. You have no clue on how to act. Love makes you want to be close and nice to lizzie. All those sweet memories that you both had flashing across your mind’s eye, making you yearn for a hug or even a simple touch from her. But the pain orders you to keep your distance, dragging you further from her. Ironic, really. You keep your distance to protect yourself from more pain but it’s all you feel, yes, pain. It still hurts as much as before. Your heart and brain are constantly fighting with each other. For now you don't want to yell anymore nor dig more into old wounds that apparently haven't healed yet. Keeping her distance and focusing on work and other coworkers seems like the best idea. 

Lizzie, on the other hand, wants to give you space that you might need. She still feels guilty. Seeing your face everyday is a blessing yet at the same time, it’s a constant reminder how badly she fucked things up. Her racing thoughts make her feel the sensation of sinking in a pit. She doesn’t know if she will ever be able to take it back. Or at least make it better. The heavy feeling in her chest goes away only in moments when she hears you laugh or see your smile or so excited like you get when you try new things or talk about things you love. This small moment gives her hope but once there is a silence again the heavy feeling comes back crushing her heart and her chest. The butterflies that were there instantly changed to small painful sharp pain in her heart.

As she is waiting for everybody to arrive at the set, her gaze is on a mission to find your presence. The director mentioned some surprises yesterday and asked everybody to arrive an hour earlier today.  Not remembering how it actually happened, she ended up getting you and herself coffee from your favorite place. She didn't remember the order but the barista knew it and helped her get the right one. So she waits for you to get through the front door to hand you the coffee. A simple gesture that hopefully will make the gap in the wall between you two smaller. She is nervous and it's hard to be in control of any emotions right now. 

A few minutes before the meeting time you arrive at the set. You look good and she can't take her eyes off of you. But she knows you like the back of her own hand and one look in your eyes tells her that you weren’t getting enough sleep for the past couple of days. Despite the time apart she still knows you in some way. You were hers for over 3 years and sometimes one look in the eyes is enough to know everything that's happening behind them. As much as she likes to look at you but it hurts her to know what state you are in now. The urge she has to give you a long warm hug that she knows you need, it tortures her. She remembers you love her hugs, especially when you are tired. Disappointment sagged through her because she knows there is nothing she can do right now to make you feel better.

Lizzie wants to stand up and give you the coffee but she doesn't move when she sees Katie follow behind you. Her brain shutting down, unable to think. Katie greets her with a smile while you are busy with your phone. Lizzie patches a forced awkward smile to the dark haired woman. Katie didn’t notice the coffee in Lizzie’s hands as someone tried to talk with her. Ignoring her uncertainty, Lizzie decides to give you the coffee.

She stands up and comes closer to you. Her steps were hesitant. " H-hey y/n." She greets you softly. Her heart skips a bit when you finally lay your eyes on her. "Oh hey lizzie. How are you?" You answer as if nothing happened between you two. She swallows hard shortly before she replies to you "I'm good, thank you. I-i got you coffee, I thought you might need it." She hands you the coffee, anxiously waiting on how you would react to it. It took her by surprise that you answered her jokingly "Do I look that bad? Ouch, that hurts, Elizabeth." followed by your smile.

Just like that, the butterflies came back so easily and she acted nervously. "No no of course not it's just that we meet an hour earlier and none of us know what we will be doing and I know that you go to bed late and I just thought that it will be nice if I just get you coffee and this lady at the coffee place you took me helped me with your order and…" She can’t control her words while answering you and tug her hair behind her ear at the same time. You can see her hands move all over the place as her rows of answers escaped her mouth.

"Liz.. Liz….Lizzie stop you are rambling. I was just kidding. Thank you, it's really thoughtful." You lay your right hand to her left shoulder as you bring her back from her rambling state. Her breath hitches softly from the touch, her heart thumping loudly that she swears she can hear it. "Sorry. Sorry.'' The only words that come out in whispers as her cheeks slowly turn crimson in embarrassment about her outburst. Eye contact is locked between you two for a few seconds until a familiar accent makes its way to be heard.

Katie comes in the picture next to you. "Y/n, darling, shall we get some coff– oh you got coffee, already?” Her question falters as soon as she sees a cup of coffee in your hand then she looks at you and Lizzie internally connecting the dots of where you got the coffee from. Lizzie bit the inside of her cheek. Her jaw tightens and her ears burn when she hears your name slips out of her lips in the sweet and flirty tone.

"Katie, uh yeah, Lizzie got me a coffee. I'll get you one now, okay? I'll be back." With that you go to get her a coffee, leaving Katie and Lizzie alone. Awkward tension fills the gap around both of them. Both of them are looking at you walking away as if they are waiting for you to leave before they start a conversation with each other.

“Hi, Katie. Sorry, I didn’t get you coffee. I didn’t know you and y/n would come together.” Your ex-girlfriend explains. “Oh, it’s okay, Liz. Don’t worry and yes, y/n and I came together. She picked me up.” Katie replied with a little smirk. The Irish woman knows that something is going on, she notices the vibe and the body language every time you two see each other. She figures that you are Lizzie’s ex-girlfriend. Katie’s answer makes her heart wrenched and she quivers with indignation. Jealousy quickly seared through her. All Lizzie thinks of now is to vaguely mark her territory, claiming that she won’t just sit watching Katie take you away from her.

“Oh really? Let me guess, she came fifteen minutes early?” Her right eyebrow arches as she tilts her head and asks Katie. Katie didn’t expect a confident tone in her question. “Yes, she did.” She tries to hide how Lizzie’s tone actually intimidates her. “Oh, she still hasn’t changed at all. Always ready to please in any way she can." Lizzie’s eyes quickly and subtly glanced at the woman next to her then back to look at you talking with other casts.

"Oh yeah, I believe you. She showed me that so many times. She is very skilled and does it naturally." Katie responds quickly to your ex-girlfriend as her gray eyes make contact with Lizzie's before another smirk forms itself as she secretly waits to see your ex’s reaction to her words. Katie knows that her answer will stir Lizzie’s emotion easily. Well, it was her purpose actually.

Lizzie’s attempt to show Katie where her line is that she shouldn’t cross has failed. Regrettably, it backfired her. Just as what Katie expected, it made her think what she wanted her to. Her heart and mind race into a pile of questions. What did she mean? With those words Katie said, did she mean it in some regular things or something that’s more intimate? Oh she hates the thought of it. It hurts and drives her crazy. Her jealousy skyrocketed in no time. “Oh.” The only response she could let out as she clenched her fist secretly and looked at you.

Katie’s presence slowly moves away as she shifts her steps to you. The view of her hand touching your arm to notify you that she is next to you really messes with Lizzie’s emotion right now. Then, she sees your smile appear instantly when you see Katie. All of this is just too much for her to bear especially after the last heated conversation between you two. No matter how much she tries to avert her eyes from you, it keeps looking back at you. As if you can feel that she is staring in your direction, you steal a glance at her in the middle of your conversation with others. With that, she finally breaks eye contact with you in embarrassment. Her heart's addiction to you hypnotizes her to look at you once more only to get caught with again by you and it feels like a knife stabs her heart.

She takes a deep breath, hoping the pain will go away with the air she exhales but it doesn’t help. You see her lower her gaze to the ground, fidgeting with her own fingers. You can’t deny it, it bothers you. Your heart tells you to go to her to ask if she is okay while you are engaging in a conversation with some of the cast.. As luck would have it, Scarlet comes to Lizzie.

“Hey Liz, I texted you. I was—” Scar’s words faltered when she realized Lizzie’s facial expression and you stole a glance at her. “Are you okay, Liz? Why was y/n looking over here?” The blonde continues.

Lizzie raises her head and quickly turns her back on you as she asks in whisper “Really? Y/n was looking at me?”

“Well, she kinda was earlier.” The older actress answers, her brows drawn together as she tries to figure out why Lizzie asks the particular question. “Is she looking at me, right now?” Lizzie curiously questions Scarlet. “Not anymore, you are acting weird. What’s wrong? Liz, what did she do to you now?” The protective feelings for her best friend escalated instantly. “Nothing, Scar. I’m okay.” A shaky breathing left her mouth soon after she replied.

“So what happened after you went with her that day, you never told me. You were missing in action for a few days. You good?” Scar asks as she stares daggers at you but this time you didn’t notice nor feel it. As Lizzie’s lips slightly opened to answer the question, the producer came and called for everybody’s attention.

He asked everybody to sit down and explain the plan for today. It will be a day for the whole cast to integrate while spending the day together. The first plan is to get breakfast. The director made a reservation in the restaurant near the set. The day will continue with paintball activity and then a bonfire for a little rest and drink get together time.

Lizzie didn’t talk much at breakfast unless someone talks to her or when she really has to. Scarlet noticed all this, she could see the tension in her but she tried not to ask Lizzie more just yet.. Everybody is divided into two buses to get to the location of the paintball battlefield. Lizzie and Scarlet are in the same bus with you and Katie together with some people from the crew that takes care of makeup and wardrobe for them.

Lizzie is mesmerized by how well you are getting along with everyone. You talk with everybody about anything without a problem. As much as she enjoys looking at you gingerly, Lizzie tries not to be too direct with staring but deep down she feels a need to make sure that Katie will be keeping her distance from you. Jealousy boils in her with every laugh and touch between you and Katie.

“Jesus, Liz, what did that poor bottle do to you " Scar’s voice didn’t really catch Lizzie’s attention until she felt a nudge on her arm. "hm…?" Just then Lizzie sees how hard she was squeezing the plastic bottle in her hand. " oh shit I… fuck im a mess." Lizzie comments on herself under her breath but loud enough for Scarlet to hear it.  "Oh yeah honey you are. Get it together.” Scarlet teases her with a smile but Lizzie knows that she can count on her friend.

As soon as the buses arrive, everybody goes change and puts on the protective gears. Lizzies eyes go every now and then to you. You and Katie have not left each other's side since breakfast. Lizzie’s eyes secretly flicker around back and forth between you and Katie who is struggling putting on her protective vest and helmet. You come close to her taking it from her hands without a question. Without words spoken Katie turned around and let you help her.

Lizzie can't focus on putting on her gears. She sees you stand so close behind Katie, too close and it's driving her nuts. You zip up Katie's uniform and start putting on the hard vest. Katie shivered a little when yn hand rested on her ribs to adjust the straps of the vest. The Irish actress feels an invisible soft rush through her body when your touch lays on it..

"Is it okay? Not too tight?" You ask softly but enough for Lizzie to hear. " Ye..yeah thank you it's perfect." Katie answers nervously but with a tiny confidence both of her hands find yours. You smile at her touch with a little chuckle fills the air as you say in almost a whisper " Okay turn around." Lizzie’s fist clenched together when she saw how close the two of you were. How Katie reacts to your touch. How close are your lips to her ear when you tell her to turn around. Her chest is tightened with emotions. Her ears are burning. She hates everything that she sees. Part of her wishes that it was her, not Katie. Oh how much she wishes that she can feel your touch again or feel your breath touch her ear again when you whisper to her like you used to.

Scarlet has to take her hand to prevent her from digging her nails into her flesh. You put Katie’s helmet on and then go to prepare yourself to be safe and sound just in case if anyone will actually shoot you. Katie’s attention is now hooked on you, she tries to help you just so she can get close with you more. She grabs your helmet. As soon as you are ready, you look for your helmet and you find where it is. Katie gives you a teasing smirk and winks at you. You return a smile to her then try to take your helmet from her hands.

Katie runs away playfully, making you run after her to catch her. Lizzie’s jaws are tighter than ever while watching how both of you interact. The laughter from both of you shatters her heart all over again. She tries hard to ignore it and continue on gearing up. Her mind is screaming with loud thoughts. Wondering if you and Katie know if she is there watching. She is thinking if this is really a pure connection between you and her or you are doing it on purpose just to remind her that you are no longer hers and you have moved on from her, being happy with Katie. Your ex can’t look at the two of you any longer. She glanced up to the sky to avoid any tears rolling down as she pressed her lips to not let any words come out of her. She shoves her hair back from her face then tuck her hair behind her ears frustrated. She tensed her shoulders as she tried to remind her to stay strong from being ambushed by her own jealousy.

Lizzie thought this day couldn’t even get any worse, but she was wrong. Her eyes can’t really avoid the view in front of her. She sees you finally catch up with Katie and you take her by her waist and lift her up then swing to turn her into the direction of where your belongings are.

Katie giggles "Okay! Okay! Put me down, y/n. You won. Please put me down." Her giggle grows into laughter that is quickly greeted with yours. You answer her in between your laugh, "No way I’m not letting you go that easy." Lizzie misses the sound of laughter and the way you laugh with Katie was just like you used to sound. She remembers how her heart flustered when she heard you laugh with the view of your smile. The memory quickly goes away as soon as she hears Katie say " Okay dinner’s on me, please now put me down" With that you finally put her down and turn her around in your arms to face you. Katie’s hands spontaneously land on both crooks of your neck as her breath hitches at how close two of you are. Eye contact is surely locked for a good few seconds, long enough for Lizzie to see it. Katie’s gray eyes look at yours in adoration. The smell of your perfume put her in trance easily. Your smile gives her butterflies and warmth spreading up arm into heart. Katie is sure that you could feel her heart wildly and she is grateful that she is wearing her helmet so you won’t see how much she is blushing right now.

Seeing how intimate you are with Katie, how she blushes and how you look at her definitely shreds Lizzie’s heart to tiny pieces. It drags her mind to remind her what Katie said earlier about you. Pain shoots through her chest as if sharp ice stabs her in realization that Katie means that it’s about a more intimate situation between you and her.

You put Katie down and took the helmet from her. In a low voice but enough for Lizzie to hear you say "It's a date then." Then you put your helmet on and moved into the direction of the entering gate. Katie needed a couple of seconds to get herself together and you look back at her as you ask “Are you coming with me?” followed by your hand stretching out waiting for Katie to grab it the walk together. But for lizzie… it took everything in her not to blow up right there and then. Every single cell in her body telling her to stop it and get back what's hers.

Scar notices once again and lets out a harsh breath and comments in a slight sing-song tone.”It's gonna be a long day" with that they move on the arena to start the battle.

Like an endless torture for Lizzie, the outcome of drawing names for the teams, you and her are in the same team together with a couple more people. The match is going well. It's a half and half situation with people from each team left on the field. When you have another man in the view, you aim at him but unfortunately he shoots before you get your chance. To your surprise, he shot someone on your left instead of you. The time stops for a second when you see Lizzie fall down on the ground with a yellow stain on her inner thigh. Laying down in pain that is caused by not so far distance between her and men that shoot her. Your heart drops to your stomach as soon as you hear a little scream coming from Lizzie and that brings you back to reality. In a brief second, you take your gun and shoot the man right in the middle of his mask and it takes his vision away. Despite you still being in the game you lift your gun up telling everybody that you are out. You get worried and move as fast as you can then crouch down next to Lizzie.

"Y/n, what are you doing you are not out yet, we could have won that.'' Lizzie speaks through pain. You chuckle in bitterness and let out your slight sarcastic comment, " Still as competitive as always. I guess some things don’t change. Come on, I'm taking you out of here." You lowered your head for her to grab your neck and help her to get up on one leg. You grab her waist tight with one hand still holding the gun up in the other hand as a surrender sigh. You mumble in annoyance "I really want to know which idiot came up with this paintball activity." As you both keep walking. "Y/n, I'm fine, don't worry please." She responds to your frustration. She knows how upset you are. “No, Liz. You are not okay. I heard your scream and you are in pain.” You respond in such vexation and worryness. She was right, you are upset. You hate seeing her in pain. Your worry tone in your answer turns her head and she looks at you. Her heart swells with hope, even it's just a little but it is enough to soothe her after everything she saw earlier and got her heart shredded.

When they go through the gate the director apologizes with so much more remorse and concern to Lizzie and tells her that maybe it wasn't the best idea. "Yes, it's definitely not the best." You let out your irritation but you stop yourself from bursting out a snarkier response when you feel her hand gently tapping your shoulder. Despite what happened between you too and how long since the break up, even your body hasn't forgotten how much her touch always soothes you. You try not to think about it and focus on helping Lizzie to walk.

The director asks Lizzie if she is okay and of course one last apology flies out of his lips. She assures him that she will be good as new and that it will just leave a bruise. You ask the crew where the bathroom is and the first aid kit. When he showed you the directions as he handed the kit, both of you were left alone in the bathroom.

The room is filled with silence for a second but soon Lizzie clears her throat nervously and says "Y/n, thank you for helping me. I can take care of it now you can go.'' Your serious and worried face is seen by Lizzie, a line appears between your eyebrows. You let out another disbelieving chuckle. "Not happening, take the uniform off." You answer as you look at her and your hand gestures what you meant. Lizzie is taken by surprise but she turns her back facing you and she obliges.  While she is undressing, you check out what’s in the first aid kit. As soon as she is done taking off the one piece uniform, she turns around to you. Silence came back into the room, filling every corner of it. You put down the first aid kit as soon as you find what you need shortly before you turn to her. You are not gonna lie, you got caught off guard seeing her standing there only in her t-shirt and underwear. Your mouth turns dry and you swallow the lump in the back of your throat.

The way Lizzie softly looks at you in a nervous adoration secretly. It actually warms her heart seeing how you are worried about her. It makes her feel that deep down she is still important to you. Her hope kindled but from what she sees in your expression and body language, she knows something bothers you and it's not just about her getting hurt.

You get to her closer and break the glass wall of silence as you say "Uh let me help you." You put one of Lizzie's arms over your shoulder and you hold her tight on her waist then pull her closer to you. You lift her up swiftly. As a reflex surprised response, she quickly lands her other arms over your shoulder and locks her hands behind your neck. Her breath hitches softly, she is stunned that she can be that close to you again. "Y/n, what are you doing?" She asks. Her breath and a very soft whimper jump out straight to your ears. Your heart starts to thump faster. Your perfume evokes her senses, the sudden feel of your muscles under her touch feels like a treat for her body. Everything happens so fast and before she knows it, you put her down to sit on the counter but it was enough for her desire of you flickered back to life.

While Lizzie is trying to ignore the little rush of feelings spread all over her heart and body, you are near the sink wetting a piece of cloth with warm water. Your mind goes back to what just happened and it pisses you off more followed by regret.

You clicked your tongue showing how upset you are, and wished that you would have acted sooner. "I had him… just a second sooner and none of it would happen." you said under your breath but Lizzie heard you. 

"What do you mean?" she asks as she turns her head to you but silence is all she got from you. Filled by curiosity, the brunette's hand reached your shoulder. "Y/n, talk to me, what do you mean?" Your heart feels heavy and you sigh deeply shortly before you finally answer her "If I fired a second sooner none of these would happen. I was aiming at him, you wouldn't get hurt if I would fire sooner"  Your heart feels clogged with guilt and it shows clearly all over you.

Lizzie’s shoulders sag, your words echoing in her ears. She has the need to make you feel better and not let you beat yourself up regarding this situation. "Y/n, it was an accident, things like that happened." her hand does the softest squeeze and her thumb gives you a few comforting strokes as her effort to give you the reassurance you need. Her little touch on your shoulder soothes you yet deep down it bothers you at the same that you swiftly grab her hand and drag it off your shoulder as casually as you can as you reply to her words "I know. But how dumb can you be to shoot someone at the leg where you dont have any protection." Then you turned around and kneeled in front of Lizzie, slightly pushing her legs apart to make space for herself. Lizzie barely gets the chance to process how she feels when you move her hands away. Now seeing you kneel between her legs makes her lungs forget how to work. Her breath caught up inside of her. You didn’t realize that you had stolen her breath. Her face felt hot and her skin flushed. Her knees weakened even though she is sitting right now. World spinning from the closeness between you two. Lizzie is trying to compose herself breathing heavily while you are cleaning her inner thigh with wet warm cloth and try to go on with a conversation to distract herself from the lust and nervous state she is in. 

She licks her lower lips before she continues her response to you "Y/n….you shoot him….in the face.”

"I know and he deserved that." You answer nonchalantly and shrug your shoulders casually. Lizzie smiles a little at your antics and straight to the point remarks. "He kind of did ..Ouch!" She nods in agreement but quickly flinches from the pain on her leg. "Sorry, Liz. I need to clean this up." You carefully clean the bruise then go to grab some pain reliever ointment from the first aid kit. "It will be cold but it will make it better, okay?" You warn and Lizzie nods looking into your eyes.

''Okay, Liz, open your legs up. I need more space." You told her. Lizzie is shocked by your bold request and slowly opens up her legs more. You get back to your previous position and start putting some ointment. You lowered your face just barely above Lizzies legs and started gently blowing air to make it less unpleasant. You don’t know that Lizzie thinks that she would be more than happy to get hit more times just to be so close to you again. The gentle air you blew to her leg sent heat down her spine. Her body sizzled. All she can do is just look at you, your every move and every inch of you. Her body begs for more of your touch. Her fingers have the urge to rake between your hair. Oh the view in front of her is driving her crazy, old memories are parading in her mind.

Her mind is flickering from one memory to another rapidly. How you used to touch her both softly and roughly. She remembers the feelings that your fingers, your lips even your tongue works on every inch of her body inside out. The more thoughts filling her mind the more it affects her sense. Everything sounds as if underwater. All she can hear now is the memories of the mix of your moan and her moan that used to collide together while both of you were tangled in pleasure with each other.

Oh how she misses your voices whispering in her ear every time you told her that she is yours followed by your moan and the nibbling on her ear. 

It feels like it was just yesterday the last time she felt her nails scratch your back and dig deep as she reached her high from you being inside her. She feels the ghost of your lips trailing wet kisses all over her body, sucking the soft skin of her neck and even your love bites while you were marking her. Longing whispers through her and heat pooled in her.

She tries to control herself right now. Despite how much her body craves you and your touch, she tries not to do anything about it. She doesn’t want to make everything between the two of you more complicated than it already is.

Your voice finally brings her back from her heated daze. "Uh–Liz, I'm gonna grab your clothes. Just give me a sec and I’ll be back." Lizzie awkwardly looked at you, as she stuttered and the petname almost slip out of her “Uh y-yeah, okay swee-uh I meant, okay y/n.'' She shortly shook her head and closed her eyes for a second to correct her answer. You nod then walk to the door.

As soon as you open the door and right before you walk out, you hear her voice call your name "Y/n?"

That's all it takes, hearing her calling your name was enough to bring your wall into a crumble but of course you cover it well. Hence the one word response. "Yeah?"

Lizzie tries to avoid your eyes but she can't. She is fidgeting with her fingers as she lets out two simple words "Thank you." This time you couldn't help but look at her and your very own eyes betrayed you, you look at her from head to toe as briefly as you can. "I got your back Lizzie. Always.. Despite everything." With that you disappeared to the other side of the door leaving Lizzie with a bittersweet reaction to your last sentence. She can count on you...always…… despite everything…. Everything she did to you.

Silence screams loud in the room, she can only hear her own heavy sigh as her breathing slows down after the vivid heated train of thoughts pays a visit in her mind. Everything in her still trying to process everything that just happened.

Little does she know, you are having your own battle behind that door.

You breathe as if you just stopped from running. Well, you really did. Both your mind and your heart were trying hard to run away from the desire that was built up while you were taking care of Lizzie.

You close your eyes and shake your head, hoping that the memories of you and Lizzie will stop playing in your head. Your heartbeat tripling in speed, your chest feels tight. You feel that your heart will explode with emotions.

Hearing your name wrapped in her voice just made it harder for you. It echoes back in your mind how she calls your name with her breathy voice.

You close your eyes one more time followed by a deep breath. "Get your shit together, y/n!" You scold yourself under your breath then waltzed away.

Ch. 7

A/n: Welp, that's it from us today. Let us know what you think. Your reblogs, and comments are highly appreciated! Follow me for more. See you in next and thank you!

Cheerio!

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5: Never Know

Noah: hey, how are you doing today?

I smiled down at my phone as I read the text message that was displayed on the screen. Ever since the day that I woke up at his place and he gave me his number, Noah's been checking in on me through text. Not every day, maybe a couple days out of the week, but it was a nice gesture of him. It actually made me quite happy, having someone check in to make sure I'm doing okay in the head. There have been days where we’d hit the bar with the band, too, which was nice to get out with a group of people.

Me: Doing good today!

Work has been a little hectic this week with trucks breaking down left and right, which was stressful as all Hell, but I was managing. Maybe not in the healthiest of ways, I'd come home after a long day, crack open a beer or several and take a nice, long bath. It felt good to just float—body and mind—so I could forget about the disaster that is my life. On top of work, the latest update of my father's sickness was not a good one. The medication he was one was stabilizing his liver, but it wasn't a cure; he still needs a liver transplant. Not a partial donation, but the whole organ, which was becoming very hard to come by. Ironically, I found myself drinking almost every night as of late.

Noah: good! you busy tonight? Me: No, why? Noah: come hang and sing karaoke with us

I snorted, shaking my head. Sure, the singer with a goddamn otherworldly voice wants to partake in karaoke.

Me: Do you want me to embarrass myself? Noah: no! lol Me: Oh, so you want to go deaf. Got it.

He sends me a bunch of laughing emojis.

Noah: c'mon I'm sure you're not THAT bad Me: Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you lol

A few hours later, and after hounding Victoria to join me, we were walking into a local Chinese restaurant that was separated by a bar and a dining area. The dining area had tables pushed aside at the far end, a large screen displaying "Lyrics by Music Choice", examples of songs scrolling by. To the left was a bald, well-built man sitting behind a podium with a laptop sitting on top, clearly in control of the karaoke this evening. I browsed the room, lights flashing and causing a glare in my vision. When I heard my name called, I squinted through the blinding lights, making out a silhouette that had been waving at me. Victoria and I made our way towards it, knowing that it was Noah.

He gives me a sideways hug when I reach the table, the other three smiling and greeting us cheerfully. I sat at the table, immediately browsing through the drink menu once I settled in.

“So, whatcha gonna pick?” Noah asks me while taking a sip of his beer. I shrugged, “Not much of a Mai Tai fan, so probably just a sangria.” He laughs, “No, I meant for a song. For karaoke?” I hang my head in my hand with a chuckle of embarrassment, shaking my head at myself. “Right.” He gives my shoulder a reassuring nudge, “Sangria’s are a good choice, though.” “Well, how about you? I’m not sure what the vibe is here.” “Noah and I are gonna duet ‘Summer Nights’!” Nick Ruffilo decided to answer for him. I snort, “From Grease? You must be joking.” When none of them denied it, I gave them all a quizzical look. “Oh, you weren’t joking.” “No, they’re not joking. These dumbasses do this every time,” Jolly speaks up and rolls his eyes, seemingly annoyed. When he takes a sip of his beer, I catch the smile that he was trying to hide, clearly amused by their upcoming performance.

After getting to know the guys little by little these past few weeks, it was very clear that Nick Ruffilo and Noah were the best of friends. Jolly was more laid back and Nick Folio gave me Golden Retriever vibes since he seemed to always be amped up and ready for anything, but they were both very welcoming. I found myself looking forward to seeing them whenever the opportunity arises.

When I finally received my sangria, Nick and Noah had been called up for their duet. I wasn’t sure how many drinks the two of them had, but they were giggling as they made their way up. I looked over at Vic, she had an amused smirk plastered on her face as she sipped on her vodka soda. “I’m so glad you dragged me along,” she says and looks over at me. “This is going to be fucking hilarious.” I leaned back in my chair and took a sip of my drink, nodding. “They’re a riot. I’ve only seen them together a couple of times, but each time I find myself laughing my ass off.” “That’s because you don’t have to live with them! Shit gets fucking annoying real fast,” Jolly cuts in, chuckling with a shake of his head. “That’s bullshit, and you know it!” Folio scolds him. “You were busting a gut the time Noah whipped that skeleton across the balcony and into the wall.” “Ah, shut it,” Jolly retorts, shoving him on the shoulder. The whole table laughed in unison.

The opening tune to “Summer Nights” filled up the room, Victoria and I immediately giving them our undivided attention. I just about died when Nick was the one singing the male part, leaving Noah singing the female part—but it did make sense, considering Noah’s vocal range. When the first round of “tell me more, tell me more” came about, Folio and Jolly both chimed in. Vic and I whipped our heads towards each other, mouths dropped in pure amusement. We decided telepathically that we’d join them from here on out, singing along to each “tell me more, tell me more” and “shoo bop bop, shoo bop bop”. When I thought that the performance couldn’t get any more hilarious, they reached the part where the vocals went extremely high—Noah gave it his all, full on belting the infamous “summer nights”. Vic and I nearly keeled over with laughter.

“I think that was the best one yet,” Noah says as he plops down in his seat, beaming while Nick takes his seat next to him, mirroring his smile. I found myself admiring the pure joy strewn across Noah’s face—the way his eyes glimmered under the flashing lights as his grin reached them, crinkling in the corners. It was such a genuine smile, warming me on the inside. “Eh, it was alright,” Jolly teases and slides him the beer he had ordered for him while he was on stage. “Then explain why all of you, including the girls, were laughing and singing along,” Noah retorts, accepting the drink with a nod. Jolly just rolls his eyes. “I dunno, I was enjoying it,” Folio chimes in.

-

When Vic decided to call it quits for the night, I found myself quite disappointed in having to part ways with them. It had been a long time since I’ve laughed as hard as I had tonight, and I was dreading going home and feeling myself crash later in the night. I was her ride for the night, and I was obligated to take her home when she was ready to go, so I couldn’t argue with her. I gave all the boys hugs goodbye, finally reaching the comfortability to do so. As I hugged Noah, I felt this sense of security when his arms wrapped around me tighter than the rest of the group—it was probably just the alcohol, making the both of us more affectionate with others as drinking normally does for people.

“So,” Vic starts when we begin to drive home, “you seeing colors yet or what?” I scrunched my brows up in confusion as I tried to understand what she was talking about. It was when my mother’s words of ‘seeing color when you fall in love’ came to mind, did I realize what she was talking about. “C’mon you know that shit’s not real,” I laugh, “of course not.” “Liv, I saw the way you two were looking at each other.” I shoot her a sideway glance of disbelief. “What are you talking about?” She snorts, “Every time I looked over at you, you were looking at Noah with this shit-eating grin. When he would look over and do the same, you’d quickly look away and cover it up by leaning your chin in your hand.” I rolled my eyes. “I really have no idea what you’re talking about, Vic. I was just having a good time. Plus, you know how I get when I start to drink; I get all smiley and giggly.” “Whatever. All I’m saying is it is real, and so is Hanahaki Disease—you’re very lucky you weren’t actually in love with Darren, or you could’ve gotten sick with that shit.” I shook my head, absolutely dumbfounded. “What the fuck is Hanahaki Disease?” “It’s rare,” she says with a sigh, “but it’s when one person loves someone, and the other doesn’t love them back. You know, unrequited love.” I nod, wanting her to continue. “The person who’s in love starts to cough up flowers, and it’s extremely debilitating. It stops when you either lose feelings, or the other loves you back.”

I find myself laughing—that is absolute bullshit. There’s no way someone just grows flowers in their lungs and regurgitates them because someone doesn’t love them back. “Laugh all you want but stop doubting these things just because you haven’t experienced them,” Vic says sternly. “Maybe I’ll never know, seeing as you claim I was never in love,” I retort with a shrug.

When I pull up to her place, we sit in silence for a moment, marinating in the mutual aggravation we developed from our stubbornness. Eventually she turns my way as she unbuckles her seatbelt. “I’m sorry, Liv,” she sighs. “I didn’t mean to be snarky. I just wanted you to understand that these things are real.” I give her a small smile. “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean to. It’s just… it’s really hard to believe when you didn’t see anything change after being with someone for two years.” She gives me a reassuring squeeze on my shoulder. “I know. Just keep an open mind to it—would I lie to you? Would your mom lie to you?” “No, I guess not.” “Exactly,” she winks, then pulls me into a hug. I squeeze her, smiling at her when we break away. “Have a good night, Vic. Thanks for coming out tonight.” “No, thank you for bringing me out! They’re hilarious and I had a blast,” she exclaims as she hops out of the car. “Night, drive safe.”

-

I laid in bed for what seemed like hours after I dropped Victoria off, her words cycling in my mind like a tornado. Had I really been looking and smiling that much at Noah all night? Surely I couldn’t have been; two sangrias, my best friend, and four goofy guys made for an incredible night—of course I would be smiling. I was just happy that I found new friends, even if the circumstances were a little dramatic, I guess you could say. It was nice to have someone else understand exactly what you’ve been through, and to just talk about it without feeling judged.

Just as I was about to roll over and get comfortable, my phone lit up next to me on the nightstand. Thinking it might’ve been Victoria, I ignored it at first…but my curiosity got the best of me. I just saw her, what could she possibly be texting me about?

Noah: hope you got home safe, thanks for coming out tonight. had a lot of fun

I held my phone for a moment, a musing grin growing on my face.

Me: I did, thank you. I had a great time, you guys are hilarious! I put a smiley face emoji at the end. Noah: glad to hear it He puts a smiley there. guess that means I’ll invite you to the next one lol

I felt my heart skip a beat, heat rising to my cheeks as I thought about him wanting to invite me out again.

Me: Yeah, I’d like that! Noah: me too. night Liv, sleep well He puts another smiley emoji there. Me: G’night Noah, sleep tight.

I stared at my phone, reading the conversation over and over again, not being able to wrap my head around it. My heart was pounding erratically, my stomach cartwheeling as I pictured the smile on his face as he typed out these texts. The small crinkles at the outer corners of his dark, yet welcoming eyes, the brightness of his perfectly straight pearly whites, the soft chuckle that sounds when he’s amused. I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart, putting my phone back on the nightstand. Maybe he was just enjoying our newfound friendship…or maybe Victoria was right. Maybe there was something about the way we were looking at each other tonight.

|Chapter 6|

Black Lagoon Live Reacts

A compilation of discord messages as I watched the entirety of Black Lagoon over the course of ~1 week. CW: racism(?), spend a lot of time talking about nazis and swastikas, also mentions of child trafficking and sexual violence

Bonus: learn a little bit about my time in the US Navy

wow black lagoon's OP's lyrics are… something

Somehow, Revy is not at all how I pictured her being based on AMVs

…. is this SBMA they did mention subic bay…. 🤔

ok I'm just going with my headcanon of this being the philippines it feels right

Also it's kinda weird this is a place I have been to this anime would hit a lot harder had I seen it closer to the time I got out of the navy

weird word choice I mean I'd probably like it a lot more back then

ep1 of black lagoon is over The ED is curious 👀 I will continue more eps later

[someone asked for clarification about what I meant about the "when I got out of the navy" thing]

It was super exciting to see shows that took place in places I've been I have a feeling that outlaw bar is based on SBMA in the philippines https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subic_Bay_Metropolitan_Authority (I guess technically the location is subic bay freeport zone, but we just called it "the sbma" )

We stopped there every deployment to stock up on supplies and it was so dirty that eventually I just stopped getting off the ship because it wasn't worth it

I also really was into any anime that had anything to do with Kyushu, which is where the home port was (Sasebo specifically) I was stationed on an LHD (amphibious assault ship) and our base was shared with JSDF ships We didn't interact with them much, but I went to their cafeteria once

Anyway, it was just cool to be like "Hey I recognize XYZ" in anime Same as anyone noticing their local areas, I assume

It just got extra cool points because "my places" were more "exotic" in relation to my american peers, I guess

Nowadays I have so few emotions it's like "Oh, cool…. anyway" Also it's now 10+ years ago. So it feels kind of dumb to keep holding on to those memories. Especially when it was barely 3 years of my life

ep3 of black lagoon cambodia Another place I've been :heh: just wear the shirt, Rock, you fool

ep4 is about nazis

I wonder if this was intentional.

I just got back from my neighbors They talked for an hour 😩 I am back to ep4 of black lagoon

Idk how many eps I will watch today It seems like a good show but it is again, episodic ok these are clearly nazis They call themselves nazis they heil hitler but their armbands have some symbol other than the swastika

… why bother?

this story continues to ep5 So guess I'll watch that one too ok they specifically mention hitler but they don't actually do the hand motion

they use the iron eagle

eh…. If you want to censor the most offensive parts, then why not use something that is based on nazis instead of actually nazis but with weird symbols? or maybe this is a real symbol I'm unfamiliar with?

oh They just did the hitler salute for real now they're singing some nazi marching song idk if it's real or not but why go through all of this and still not show the swastika?

oop there it is

Revy is supposed to be chinese? wtf doesn't look that at all At least Rock looks japanese-ish starting ep6 ok this is not as episodic as I thought

ep6 is the "die nazi scum" episode

ep7 some lady is editing porn videos lol

yeah you fucking go, Rock! Love this character shift

[someone says: "Black lagoon is weird. Surprisingly philosophical given that it's advertised as dumb action"]

That's surprisingly accurate.

ep 8 of black lagoon Making good time here we've entered the child trafficking episode

[someone mentions having to drop "The Great Pretender" due to a child trafficking arc]

eh it's just one kid and it's not sexual I wonder if the great pretender is worth watching (for me) though

wow revy cleans up good

oh this isn't revy? :skeptical:

ep9 of black lagoon has been started

ep12 I love how multi-cultural this show is This ep is pretty racist though 😂

lmao boob sweat man I'm flying through these eps I guess that means I like the series I was going to start ep 13 but actually 12 was a good stopping point so guess I'll go to bed instead Bed being mindlessly scrolling through reddit til sleep comes, that is

I'm watching black lagoon ep 13 now grey haired twin kids who might be incestuous? Oh hey Thailand yet another place I've been

ep14 they shot the dogs 😔 we've reached the sexual child trafficking plot

One of the random side characters sounds like bender from futurama and that's a bit weird

ep15 wow 2 grown women who are bounty hunters / mercs and super strong split up and one of them flips out about how she can't walk to her car alone lmao what

alright so Black Lagoon actually mostly takes place in Thailand near the border of Cambodia and not SBMA at all. So of course I immediately assumed Pattaya just because that's where I've been lmao and basic google searching says I'm not far off. Black Lagoon takes place in a fictional city named Roanapur and it has a big buddha statue. Reddit claims the main theories of the location this is based on is Chanthaburi or Trat. One reddit user says that buddha statue is probably Hua Laem Pagoda, which is about 2 hours from Pattaya :wheeze: Man I really wish I watched this anime closer to my Navy time What would Navy me say about this show? this ep really is… a lot a bit too real with the horrors of child trauma :(

Oh the ED changed instead of Revy leaving her boots behind It's a girl in a nightgown oh it's the twins how sad :( ep16 time to counterfeit USD "What is it witht his city? Everyone looks so damn shady" haha Oh, sweet summer child. That's just Southeast asia lmao "Mister elvis"

oh hey the blonde nun with the sunglasses is voiced by the owl witch VA in owl house

LOTTON THE WIZARD :wheeze: (and of course he's got gray hair) ep17 the nun's name is eda how coincidental with owl house 😂

"That room's worked the last 4 times out of 7!" Ah ha A perfect 4/7 score heh

this show has a ton of strong ladies and no obvious fan service Except this episode This side character has had so many random panty shots ep 18 the localization in this is great 😂

lmao lotton the wizard is just as stupid as the name implies Love how that joke paid off WHAT A TWIST bullet proof jacket stupid american damaging the engine of the boat he's on in the middle of the goddamn ocean

ep20 lmao, of course its Roppongi

ok I think I'm done with black lagoon for the night idk if I want to go to bed yet but I'm kinda over black lagoon for now

I really don't feel like watching anything right now but I realized tomorrow is my last day of freedom before my parents come back for a month so I kind of have to finish the show now or else I most likely won't finish it at all so here we go with ep 21 of black lagoon oh this is scarred lady's flashback/backstory ep

ep22 dumb girl who's never seen danger is convinced she's strong enough to lead a band of yakuza unsurprisingly, she gets captured and starts to realize how out of her depth she is when they argue about how they're gonna rape her

Hell yeah Revy shows idiot man how much of a weak bitch he is YuGiOh's Tristan uses katana to slice bitch ass's gun IN HALF More news at 11

schoolgirl calling Rock OUT she decides to stay in the dark world and stick with the yakuza boss thing I wonder if she'll show up later ep23 scarred lady has been trying to take over japan It seems to be working looks like schoolgirl is going to stay in the picture for the next few episodes at least

really don't know what to think about Rock's whole identity crisis thing part of me wants to say he's a fool but the other part wants to say "he's 14 and this is deep" we're on ep 24 now out of 29

…. I've decided rock is an idiot

ok rock is an idiot but at least he's not completely delusional like Yukio/schoolgirl damn she killed herself the ED changed to rock music lol

I have 4 eps of black lagoon left but I am absolutely not feeling it There's just no urge to finish, no specific thing I am waiting to learn about or see happen Unless I force myself to finish today, I am 99% sure I will never pick it up again

finally starting ep25 of black lagoon Let's see if I finish this today

they should make some kind of gun maid anime they really honed in on a niche here

ep 27 grey haired wizard dude is back and he is absolutely stupid and I love him

oh no she's gonna kill the boy 😭 roberta's story is the most captivating of this series ep28 oh he got saved… lmao the wolf sounds for her LOL just kick grey haired guy right in the balls like nothing and continue on

ep29! the last one wow a revy flashback That was… something this play is falling apart I distinctly remember the major taking the gun back from the kid in the previous episode

I don't know what's going to happen here but I assume it's going to be a horrifying blood bath of all parties ewwwwww her finger

…. alright I might be too dumb to get the ending so I am just left disappointed and confused buuut I finished it So there's that, I guess

I listened to an anti podcast today. Don’t ask me why lol. And I completely lost my shit and I wanted to share it in case someone wants to have a good laugh. So that anti was like „how can larries actually believe Louis did pick these articles and papers in the just like you Videos by himself!? He has a Team that comes up with the idea and is in charge for the video. Besides, these articles were literally just randomly put into the video, how funny of larries to think they were chosen on purpose“ and i was like wtfff. Actually they didn’t say it like that, it was in a much more shady and ironic way. They were laughing about just the idea Louis could have picked these himself let alone there could be any thought behind the article choices at all. How low can you go…

I do think it’s an interesting question to ask how much input Harry and Louis have when it comes to these massive projects that involve a large number of people. But they must have some (perhaps a lot) - it’s associated with their name and brand, after all.

And it’s clear that a lot of thought went into the “Just Like You” video, in particular. They didn’t use dummy articles, and the placement and timing was meaningful. The song (and presumably the video) must have been meaningful to Louis because he fought to release it despite pushback from the label.

Some people put so much energy behind entirely discrediting Larry and the idea of Louis being queer. A lot of it doesn’t stick.

Woosung's in Vancouver Tonight!

I have a few random thoughts before I drop my playlist faves today.

I'm excited that I picked up VIP tickets for Woosung's concert tonight.

It's going to be a REAL long day, (come early - leave late) but I think it's going to be worth it.

He is playing at a small venue so it's going to be great to be upfront and so close.

My only heartfelt prayer is that I get some decent video of the occasion. distance will certainly not be the problem.



I remember the first time I listened to The Rose. I found one of their music videos by accident on YouTube (which is pretty well how I found all my favorite Asian artists while wading my way through this pandemic.) They were playing one of their songs in an empty swimming pool. (Damned if I can find the video now.)

Three thoughts came to my mind at the time.

Wow, an Asian band playing their instruments - They were the first I'd actually seen doing so, and thought they were SO cool.

2. Hey.... They're in an empty swimming pool - I wonder what the acoustics are really like down there...

3. OMG... Listen to that voice!! and just like that, I was hooked on their music.

Woosung's voice is unique, there's only one singer I've heard with a similar sound and he plays in the group Nell - which, Ironically, is another band. I can't wait for tonight.

I am hoping that Woosung finds his visit to Vancouver fun and eventful. I don't think all international artists who come to Canada have a positive experience. I say this because...

I saw Eric Nam back in February. That was an awesome concert, he was very engaged with the audience, and there was a party vibe in the air the whole time.

My only disappointment with his visit to Vancouver.

Well originally, he'd been scheduled for one day, and they opened that up to three. I suspect it was related to COVID in some way, but in despite his extended stay. He didn't discuss his visit to Vancouver. He has been prolific on Instagram with sharing shots of the different venues he's visited during his Tour, but you'll not see anything for Vancouver and when he was here - he addresses us as if we were from the States... Perhaps just a mistake on that part, but then no physical proof of his visit to us. I'd like to think he had an enjoyable time here, but his not discussing it makes me wonder if his visit here wasn't as pleasant as it was for us who came to see him...I'm not offended, but I am curious. Real curious.

My only other disappointment was with the quality of my video that night. And it's not that I don't have a decent phone as I have a Samsung Galaxy S21 Ultra, so I suspect much of the issue was the person behind the camera and not the phone itself!



Back to Woosung....

His latest EP is exceptional, and on YouTube, I've seen clips from a few of the concerts he's had on this tour. He generates huge energy, and one of the video posters mentioned some examples of just how caring and considerate he was toward the audience. I guess one of the venues was very hot, and he actually stopped his concert until he was satisfied everyone was alright.

So I can't wait! I'm sure I will write about it later.



On Final Track today... (track.. song.... ...)

GSoul is also having a North America tour. Tickets for his Vancouver show were released this weekend. It will also, be held in a small intimate venue. The price is VERY good, and I was going to get some more VIP seats...

I almost hit the button to purchase my ticket (literally on the 'get tickets button' when something told me to wait a sec and double-check...I looked at the date of the concert... and said... Well FUCK me. and then pouted...still pouting in fact.

Wouldn't you know it the concert falls on our wedding anniversary - The day we are heading out of town...

As I know the husband has invested quite a bit for our tenth anniversary, I know which choice I should take...Right?

LOL.

IMO, GSoul is a fantastic singer. In fact. I'd state that he is phenomenal at singing as well as composing on the fly.

I'm subscribed to many artists on Instagram. It's always great when they come on to spend a few minutes with their fans. I've been on virtual walks, car rides, in bed, and at the pub with them to name a few places artists like to be in contact with their fans. I often record their visit. Many of those artists will gift us with songs during their visit of either their songs or covers and it's always nice to hear them in a less formal medium.

Many of the singers come on Instagram, and give an impromptu mini concert and it's great that they will sing on the fly like that. From this experience, I've learned that not all singers can put it all out there (vocally speaking) - having done some singing long ago in my past, I know just how challenging it can be to just sing on demand and be happy with your performance. in fact, few can pull it off.

I found GSoul to be an exception. what comes out of his mouth is crazy, and I had to remember to let go of my breath at one point because I was so impressed with the runs he was using - just casually as his mind was working on composing some new music.

Hopefully next time, I will be able to see him. I put a playlist together with some of his stuff. give it a listen if you've got a few minutes or are looking for some nice bluesy music to chill too.

hello im feeling extra “touch the stove”-y today so. i was looking for any dialogue where solas just straight up lies and (of what i could find online/transcribed, obv) i didnt find anything that was 100% untrue. he’ll completely avoid the question, change the subject, give part of the truth, etc etc etc, but nothing was just Entirely A Lie

what really gets me is that there’s a handful of convos where someone infers something from what solas says, and he will even point out that he didn’t directly say that. like, he tells people how to see through his shit, lmao

here is an embarrassingly long ass list of examples, all sorted by what kind of not-lying he’s doing lol, just bc i am unhinged<3

*note that some of these are cut from longer bits of dialogue or have been split up from one conversation into different categories*

literally just Not Answering The Question lol

Dorian: How much “will” do they have? They’re amorphous constructs of the Fade. Solas: Hmm.

Dorian: Solas, have I offended you? Solas: If you have, why would it concern you?

Dorian: Solas, what is this whole look of yours about? Solas: I’m sorry? Dorian: No, that outfit is sorry. What are you supposed to be, some kind of woodsman? Dorian: Is it a Dalish thing? Don’t you dislike the Dalish? Or is it some kind of statement? Solas: No.

Dorian: Let me get this straight, Solas. Dorian: You’re an apostate – neither Dalish nor city elf – who lived alone in the woods studying spirits. Solas: Is that a problem for you?

Solas: [has a whole tactical moment about the red jennies lmao] Sera: Where d’you get all this, then? Solas: Do you wish to be unnerved by another tale of my explorations of the Fade? Or do you wish to learn something?

Vivienne: You must be pleased with what was revealed at the Temple of Mythal, Solas. Solas: Why should those ruins please me, Enchanter?

changing the subject before he backs himself into a corner

Gatt: I don’t see any tattoos, but you’re carrying a staff. Are you from a Chantry Circle? Solas: No. And I would prefer not to discuss it.

Solas: I find the fall of the dwarven lands confusing. Varric: What’s so confusing about endless darkspawn? Solas: A great deal, although that is a different matter.

giving the truth, but not the whole truth

Blackwall: Skyhold. How did you find it? Solas: I looked. Blackwall: Now you sound like Cole. You looked? Solas: This world is full of wonders for those who seek them.

Blackwall: You spoke of seeing death and destruction. Did you fight in a war? Solas: There are struggles across Thedas at any given time. I doubt you would have heard of it. Blackwall: An elven skirmish? Solas: In a manner of speaking, yes.

Cassandra: Solas, have you always lived alone? Out in the wilderness, as an apostate? Solas: For the most part.

Cassandra: Have you ever encountered templars before? Solas: Only at a distance. I am an apostate, after all. Cassandra: And they never caught you even once? Solas: I am a very careful apostate.

Dorian: We found elves, living ancient elves, at the Temple of Mythal. Does that bother you, Solas? If Inquisitor allied with the Sentinels: Solas: I am pleased we were not forced to kill them, if that’s what you mean.

Iron Bull: You’ve got an odd style, Solas. Your spells are a bit different from the Circle mages or the Vints. Solas: That comes from being self-taught. Solas: I discovered most of my magic on my own, or learned it from my journeys in the Fade.

Vivienne: So, an apostate? Solas: That is correct, Enchanter. I did not train in your Circle.

Solas: You are a man who made a choice... possibly the first of your life. Iron Bull: I’ve always liked fighting. What if I turn savage, like the other Tal-Vashoth? Solas: You have the Inquisition, you have the Inquisitor... and you have me.

from cutscene at beginning Inquisitor: [mentions the anchor closing a rift] Solas: Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach's wake – and it seems I was correct.

from cutscene at beginning Solas: [to a Dalish Inq] You are Dalish, but clearly away from the rest of your clan. Did they send you here? Inquisitor: What do you know of the Dalish? Solas: I have wandered many roads in my time, and crossed paths with your people on more than one occasion. Inquisitor: [Crossed paths? dialogue choice] Solas: I mean that I offered to share knowledge, only to be attacked for no greater reason than their superstition.

from “I’d like to know more about you” convo in Haven Inquisitor: What made you start studying the Fade? Solas: I grew up in a village to the north. There was little to interest a young man, especially one gifted with magic. But as I slept, spirits of the Fade showed me glimpses of wonders I had never imagined. I treasured my dreams. Being awake, out of the Fade, became troublesome.

actually telling the truth but no one picks up on the gravity of it

Solas: [...] I believe the elven gods existed, as did the old gods of Tevinter. But I do not think any of them were gods, unless you expand the definition of the word to the point of absurdity. I appreciate the idea of your Maker, a god that does not need to prove his power. I wish more such gods felt the same. Cassandra: You have seen much sadness in your journeys, Solas. Following the Maker might offer some hope. Solas: I have people, Seeker. The greatest triumphs and tragedies this world has known can all be traced to people.

Cole: No, inside. I don’t hear your hurt as much. Your song is softer, subtler, not silent but still. Solas: How small the pain of one man seems when weighted against the endless depths of memory, of feeling, of existence. That ocean carries everyone. And those of us who learn to see its currents move through life with their fewer ripples.

Cole: You didn’t do it to be right. You did it to save them. Inquisitor: Solas, what is Cole talking about? Solas: A mistake. One of many made by a much younger elf who was certain he knew everything.

Solas: Empires rise and fall. Arlathan was no more “innocent” than your own Tevinter in its time. Solas: Your nostalgia for the ancient elves, however romanticized, is pointless.

Solas: Our people used to be here. Sera: Pfft, you say that everywhere. Solas: It is more true than you want to believe.

Vivienne: You must be pleased, apostate. With the Templars dissolved, your rebels will be most difficult to pacify. Solas: My rebels? Am I an agent for their cause, whispering poison into the Inquisition’s ears? Solas: How comforting. Vivienne: You enjoy seeing yourself as a villain? Solas: No more than any other clever man who wonders what he could do if pushed.

Vivienne: [about the Temple of Mythal] Now you know the elves were once a mighty nation. Solas: I always knew, Enchanter. The Temple of Mythal is just another reminder of what was lost.

(in the Emerald Graves): These forests have changed much since I was last here.

during the Fade!Haven cutscene Solas: It seems you hold the key to our salvation. You had sealed it with a gesture... and right then, I felt the whole world change. Inquisitor: [romance option] “Felt the whole world change?” Solas: A figure of speech. Inquisitor: I’m aware of the metaphor. I’m more interested in felt. Solas: You change... everything.

pointing out that people assume he means things he did not directly say

Cole: There is pain though, still within you. Solas: And I never said there was not.

Solas: You may well become fully human, after all. I never thought to see it. Cole: When did you see it before? Solas: I did not say that I had.

Iron Bull: We’ve got the alliance with my people. Given how much you love the Qun, I figured... Solas: I might scold you? Berate you for your decisions? Iron Bull: Hey. The Chargers died as heroes for the good of the mission. Solas: I never said otherwise.

Sera: Don’t you start. Solas: I’m reasonably certain I said nothing.

Vivienne: [talking shit about grey warden mages] Solas: I never claimed mages should be above the law, Enchanter. Vivienne: No, darling. You merely implied it, while offering no viable suggestions for improvement.

after infamous “side benefits” dialogue Warrior Inquisitor: You find my muscles enjoyable? Solas: I meant that you enjoyed having them, presumably. Warrior Inquisitor: Ah. Solas: But yes... since you asked.

diminishing things he does actually know by saying he he “believes” or “thinks,” or that things were vaguely “said” or “told”

Solas: I say what I believe to be true, even if it gives offense to those who prefer the lie.

Dorian: That orb Corypheus carries... are you certain it’s of elven origin, Solas? Solas: I believe so. Why do you ask?

Solas: It is said that we lived at a pace that sustained us for... ages.

making it sound like he’s talking about something/someone else, but it’s just him lmao

Cole: Do you know a lot about wolves? Solas: I know that they are intelligent, practical creatures that small-minded fools think of as terrible beasts.

Solas: No man can kill so many people without breaking inside. To survive... those you fight must become monsters. Iron Bull: The ones that kill innocent people, yeah. The rest... I don’t know. Solas: The mind does marvelous things to protect itself.

during In Hushed Whispers Inquisitor: I’m glad you understood what he just said because I’m not sure I did. Solas: You would think such understanding would stop me from making such terrible mistakes. You would be wrong.

misc

this one i wanted to include because it’s the only circumstance (that i came across) where someone directly asks solas to lie and he literally says he can’t

during the fucking crestwood breakup scene Inquisitor: [angry option] Tell me you don’t care. Solas: I can’t do that. Inquisitor: Tell me I was some casual dalliance so I can call you a cold-hearted son of a bitch and move on! Solas: I’m sorry.

*also note that most of these are banter transcriptions from the wiki; some are cutscene / other dialogue posted by either @/daitranscripts or u/karinini on reddit; it’s not all his cutscenes obv, but I’m not about to look up every single one individually sdlkfj*

In Which I Attempt to Wreak Havoc Upon Panharmonium's Heart. Or Something.

Because I am an awesome friend, clearly, and possibly making people sad/verklempt is definitely an excellent way to (belatedly 😔 but I did start before the 15th!) celebrate Kakashi's birthday, right? ;)

I will admit up front that this is nowhere near as deftly structured and compiled as your Kakashi fanmix, @panharmonium, but that is precisely why I'm not even going to try to organize all these songs into individual playlists. Yet. Plus, I have a tendency to over-explain so this way I can better expound on why certain songs remind me of certain characters. Sorry that I sorta went a little... overboard?

Everything--except a few that aren't available on spotify, I'll link to them directly--can be listened to HERE.

What I'm Looking For - Brendan Benson | Kakashi → I may be a little biased with this one because it fits SO many of my favorite characters so well, somehow, but there's just something about the upbeat/tongue-in-cheek musical cues/delivery of lines such as 'I visit hell on a daily basis, and I see the sadness in all your faces' that just feels so Kakashi to me.

Happy Ending - MIKA | Kakashi → This is presumably a breakup song, but I enjoy it so much more in a non-romantic context (and the song itself isn't really boxed in with overtly romantic framing, so I appreciate that!). Anyway, some very important instructions IMO for listening to this with Kakashi in mind: everything before the bridge is about Kakashi up through his ANBU years, but when you get to the 'little bit of love' refrain, picture Kakashi meeting Tenzo, and then becoming Team 7's sensei, opening back up to Gai, adopting all the other leaf genin, assimilating Sai and Yamato into Team 7, and it keeps building with Kakashi gaining more and more loved ones to fill the hole in his heart, and then cry tears of joy with me! Just my personal suggestion. :D

Light - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi & Team 7 (/all his kids)

with every heartbeat I have left I will defend your every breath

→ I've seen this song used for ship vids and I'm all ????? about that because this is clearly a song about the love you have for your child! But I suppose if one of my favorite pastimes is aggressively re-interpreting love songs in non-romantic ways, I can't begrudge the opposite process... too much, lol.

Heroes - MIKA | Team Minato

your blood on me/and my blood on you/but to make you bleed/the only thing I wouldn't do/.../I wish there was a way/to give you a hand to hold/'cause you don't have to die in your glory/die, to never grow old

Long Lost Friends - Transit | Kakashi & Obito

how long/do you have to say that/this is not the person I used to know/you are not the person I used to know/.../because lately, you've been looking at me like you've seen a ghost/and isn't it obvious who's been missing who the most

→ What the heck! What the heck! What the heck! What the heck! What the heck!

Against the Voices - Switchfoot | Kakashi

'cause everybody knows/the hardest war to fight/is the fight to be yourself/when the voices try to turn you into someone else

Out of the Darkness - Matthew and the Atlas | Obito? Yamato? Kakashi? Itachi & Sasuke? Naruto & Kurama? → I'm a bit undecided about this one, or if I should just not worry about choosing one character and just let myself feel all the "inner darkness is not an innate characteristic, Danzo! They're just grieving/in a lot of pain, and they can find their way out of that dark place!" feels.

Save A Place - 1969 | Kakashi & Sasuke

so I'll keep away and save a place for you/and I'll only make the same mistakes as you/.../when all the blood all over your fingers is dried up/the pain will still linger

→ I'm not uber-confident in picking out really fitting Kakashi & Sasuke songs yet, but I hope this hits a lot of the right notes for you. :)

Thrive - Switchfoot | Kakashi

I'm always close, but I'm never enough/I'm always in line, but I'm never in love/I get so down, but I won't give up/I get so down, but I won't give up

→ See, it says right there that he's never in love! Not the crux of the song, and he's not always 'in line' either, but still! :)

Disarm - The Civil Wars | Kakashi & Obito

the years burn, burn, burn

→ I don't know how I keep collecting fictional relationships that work so well for this song, but literally every single line of this song hits so hard for these two?? Will never recover from this. (Also, I usually disregard when 'my love' pops up in the last line of the chorus, as the mood dictates. :) It's pretty incidental as is IMO.)

Renaissance - Paolo Buonvino & Skin | Sakumo & Obito & Kakashi & Naruto

let me show you one last time/let me show you one last sign/you can find it/I can't say that I can change the world/but if you let me, I can make another world for us/let me suffer all for you/make this vision all brand new/we can fight them/I can't say that I can win it all, [but] come with me and I will make my words stand tall

→ Okay, this is a very odd choice given that it's actually the theme song for a different show about the Italian renaissance (if you happen to see this, Mirjam, don't hate me!), but this could be IT! The "those who break the rules are scum, but those who would abandon their friends are worse than scum" anthem that's all about building a better world based on these principles! I really hope our sharing-a-brain talent translates to listening to this song in this way because I am feeling SOME KIND of way about this!

The Lament of Eustace Scrubb - The Oh Hellos | Kakashi → I really liked the song you chose from this album for your fanmix, so now I've feeling a tiny bit too on-the-nose with my choice, but I guess this is just a Kakashi album all around. 😆

Glass Heart Hymn - Paper Route | Kakashi(+ Obito) & Sasuke(+ Itachi)

memories as heavy as a stone/ I am empty, in my end you are my beginning

This Is Home - Switchfoot | Yamato & Kakashi (+ Team 7)

and now, after all my searching/after all my questions/I'm gonna call it home

→ All finding-where-you-belong songs are actually Yamato songs. True story!

Faust, Midas, & Myself - Switchfoot | Obito

you have one life left to leave/you have one life left to lead

→ Could this be any more perfect for Obito? It even has creepy-old-man!Madara!

Pluto - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi

Always Gold - Radical Face | Kakashi & Obito/Sasuke & Itachi/Naruto & Sasuke

all my life, I've never known where you've been/there were holes in you, the kind that I could not mend/and I heard you say, right when you left that day/does everything go away?/yeah, everything goes away/but I'm going to be here till forever/so just call when you're around

→ ...but mostly Kakashi & Obito because 'there were holes in you' 😭😭😭

Lemon Boy - Cavetown | Yamato & Kakashi → You already know the delights of this song of course, but I gots to be comprehensive. :)

Everywhere I Go - Lissie/cover by Sleeping At Last | Kakashi & Team Minato

danger will follow me now everywhere I go/angels will call on me and take me to my home/well, these tired eyes just want to remain closed

→ I chose the Sleeping At Last cover for maximum angst, 'cause sometimes it be like that.

Uneven Odds - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi

maybe your light is a seed, and the darkness the dirt, in spite of the uneven odds, beauty lifts from the earth

→ ...just like an earth style: mud wall :') Okay, okay, bad jokes aside, the seed metaphor of course makes me want to associate it with Tenzo, but this is clearly a Kakashi song!

Twenty-four - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Obito

life is not what I thought it was twenty-four hours ago/and I'm not who I thought I was twenty-four hours ago/still I'm singing spirit, take me up in arms with you/you're raising the dead in me/I wanna see miracles/to see the world change/wrestled the angel for more than a name/for more than a feeling, for more than a cause/I'm singing spirit, take me up in arms with you/and you're raising the dead in me

I'm Still Here (Jim's Theme) - John Rzeznik | Kakashi

and how can they say I never change?/they're the ones that stay the same/.../they can't tell me who to be/'cause I'm not what they see/.../and their words are just whispers/and lies that I'll never believe

→ Yeah, I might've accidentally imprinted on Treasure Planet as a 14 year old, and then someone made sure this song would forever live in my heart by making a fanvid of it with my favorite character from my robin hood show, but! He's still here!

See You Again - Wiz Khalifa (feat. Charlie Puth) | Kakashi & Obito/Team Minato

how can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?/everything I went through, you were standing there by my side/and now you gon' be with me for the last ride

→ I am being very unoriginal here, and there are in fact already fanvids made for these relationships set to this song (along with many others featuring different Naruto relationships), but I don't think I'll be able to rest until I translate the movie playing in my head whenever I hear this song now into an actually watchable format. After all, they have come a long way from where they began, and I intend to make that both as touching and ironically hilarious as possible!

Goodnight, Travel Well - The Killers | Kakashi → Admittedly, I got this idea from a magnificently crafted fanvid done for my robin hood show, but I genuinely think it would be really interesting to make something similar for Kakashi centered around the time he technically died but got better? I don't know how to explain it, but I think it fits quite well.

30 Lives - Imagine Dragons | Kakashi & all the people he's loved and lost → can be listened to here.

A Pound of Flesh - Radical Face | Kakashi

then today I wake up feeling easy/and find I'm on more familiar roads/I got a darkness wrapped inside me/but now it ain't so hard to let it go/so keep a candle burning in the window/I'm almost home

Hold Back The River - James Bay | Kakashi & life getting in the way of him being with his precious people (you may be sensing a pattern here) → @the road of life: Let! Kakashi! And his People! Hold! Each! Other!!! Also, 'tried to square not being there, but think that I should have been' is absolutely about Sasuke's defection and Kakashi adding it to his long list of undeserving self-recriminations.

The Fall - Imagine Dragons | Yamato & Kakashi → 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

Shadowman - K's Choice | could work equally well for Kakashi or Obito, I think

any time tomorrow a part of me will die/and a new one will be born/any time tomorrow/I'll get sick of asking why/sick of all the darkness I have worn/any time tomorrow/I will try to do what's right/making sense of all I can/any time tomorrow I'll pretend to see the light/I just might/.../and doesn't it make you sad?/to see so much love denied/see nothing but a shadowman inside

Paint - The Paper Kites | Kakashi & Team 7

still there's a wound and I'm moving slow/though it don't show, though it don't show/I've got a hole where nothing grows,/how little you know, how little you know

→ A song for just how much Team 7 doesn't know about their sensei.

Always Find Me Here - Transit | Kakashi → ...most likely at the memorial stone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (why am I like this)

Taste - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi

it’s bittersweet, it’s poetry/a careful pruning of my dead leaves/it’s holy ground, a treasure chest/I'm on my knees and only scratch the surface/like fists unraveling, like glass unshattering/we’re breaking all the rules, we’re breaking bread again/we’re swallowing light ’til we’re fixed from the inside

Help - Hurts | Yamato & Kakashi

take my hand and lead the way/out of the darkness and into the light of the day/.../'cause I know what I've been missing/and I know that I should try/but there's hope in this admission/and there's freedom in your eyes/.../I can feel the darkness coming/and I'm afraid of myself/call my name and I'll come running/'cause I just need some help

→ NO ONE TOUCHE ME.

Your Soul - RHODES | A mish-mash of Kakashi & Tenzo and Rin & Obito & Kakashi and Gai & Kakashi vibes? → So like, 'oh you know when you're alone/I'm holding on and on and on and on/to your soul' reminded me of your 'when you're all alone...the only thing you really think about is dying' 'but when there are two of you...the only thing you can think about is surviving.' and now kakashi - who just saved his life - is asking him 'did you want to die' and yamato is saying 'no' there are two of them and yamato wants to SURVIVE. tags as well as Gai's steadfastness as a friend, and 'I just wanna hold your hand' made me think of Rin's "Well then, I'm just going to have to connect the two of you." while holding their hands, and the sunlight/'soul shine'/'your light' motif is just A Lot in this song!!

7 Years - Lukas Graham | Kakashi → Alright, yeah, there are already approximately a gazillion pre-existing Naruto AMVs for this song and even one or two focusing on Kakashi, but they don't capitalize on all the angst possibilities in many of the lyrics or reach the fluff potential of 'will I think the world is cold or will I have a lot of children who can warm me [when I'm old]' and I cannot abide that!

Putting The Dog To Sleep - The Antlers | Kakashi & Sasuke → Okay, on one hand, this song is One Big Oof. But I do like the (potentially odd) way I've conceptualized it for Kakashi & Sasuke? Like, the first half is Kakashi going through all the tragedies in his life and getting lost in ANBU, but then in the second half it transitions to him wanting to prevent Sasuke from having to be as alone as Kakashi once was and they can face life together? It makes me emotional!

Trust Me - The Fray | Kakashi & Obito

I found a friend, or should I say a foe?/said there's a few things you should know/we don't want you to see/we come, and we go/here today, gone tomorrow

→ There are a few lines that call Tenzo & Kakashi to mind, but mostly it's Obito & Kakashi.

The Lightning Strike (What If This Storm Ends?) - Snow Patrol | Kakashi → I had to, right? My mindscape is a little murky/scattered about what specifically I want to think about when I listen to this, but obviously it has to do with Kakashi in one way or another.

Kettering - The Antlers | Team Minato(???) → Honestly not sure if this will make any sense, but yeah, vague team minato vibes?

Swans - Unkle Bob | Kakashi & Obito/Rin/Minato/Kushina/Sakumo → They should be by his side always!!!

Looking Too Closely - Fink | Kakashi → I honestly feel rather ambivalent about this one too, but I can't deny 'truth is like blood underneath your fingernails/and you don't wanna hurt yourself, hurt yourself/looking too closely' always destroys me because... well, you know. I love suffering. :(

Souvenirs - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Obito & Rin

wolves - Switchfoot | Kakashi

snowfall for the battlefield/roses for the father's sons/see them red on the ground:/bleeding/when the revolution came/we were more than hungry men/we were hoping for more:/bleeding/end. begin again./all of my world is collision and spin/hope is a world that has yet to begin/awaken, oh sleeper/awaken, oh sleeper/a new day begins

→ I wanted a wolf-related song too. :)

PRODIGAL SOUL - Switchfoot | Obito, Itachi, & Sasuke; just all them wayward Uchiha boys

Coming Down - Dear Euphoria | kid!Kakashi & his relationships

the shell/that I wore/it wasn't for fun/it wasn't to make you/stick around/it was for survival/it was what I've learnt/it was for the sun/.../our love has grown/our love has flown

→ Another one I'm a little unsure of whether it makes sense outside of my head or not, but I like the vibes?

Ghosts That We Knew - Mumford & Sons | Kakashi & Yamato? → Hmm, can I maybe submit this as a Kakashi-&-Yamato-just-need-to-mske-it-through-this-war-so-they-can-have-a-bright-bright-future song?

All Is Well (It's Only Blood) - Radical Face | Kakashi → ...he said as he's bleeding out or after he's thrown himself in the line of fire protecting someone he thinks is a better person than himself...

Bleeding Out - Imagine Dragons | Kakashi

when the hour is nigh/and hopelessness is sinking in/and the wolves all cry/to fill the night with hollering/when your eyes are red/and emptiness is all you know/with the darkness fed/I will be your scarecrow/you tell me to hold on/oh, you tell me to hold on/but innocence is gone/and what was right is wrong

→ In a similar vein to the previous song. But goodness gracious! Were they NOT straight up describing Kakashi here?

Amaryllis - Shinedown | Yamato & Kakashi → Just tossing this one out there, not sure if it will make sense or if it's a reach... but I like it?

lost 'cause - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Sasuke

are we a lost cause?/or are we just lost 'cause/we won't be the future we refuse to see?/and if I'm your lost cause/it'll be your lost 'cause/you won't see me as I am, the possibility/that I'm not the enemy

→ 214 feels. (And before and after that, but yeah.)

Through the Ghost - Shinedown | Kakashi & Obito

so many silent sorrows/you never hear from again/and now that you've lost tomorrow/is yesterday still a friend?/.../everything that mattered is just/a city of dust/covering both of us/did you hide yourself away?/I can't see you anymore/.../did you hide yourself away?/are you living through the ghost?/did you finally find a place/above the shadows so the world will never know?/the world will never know you like I do ... like I still do

Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men | Kakashi → Just Kakashi having little chats with his ghosts, totally the most heartwarming way to conclude this section. 😅

Sleepyhead - Passion Pit | Kakashi → Just kidding! Here's a slightly less morbid song for the Most Tired Boy Of Them All.™ (Random aside: this was my customary song to listen to on my walks to 8AM organic chemistry classes; I found it strangely soothing! On a different occasion, after a particularly long day for her, one of my roommates didn't have the energy to make it to her bed but nevertheless requested a lullaby from us. So I obliged by playing this song for her, but she didn't seem to gain the same peace of mind from it as I did. 😄 I know it's not my place to propose anything like this, but it does amuse me to imagine bookends!Kakashi in these situations, even though it's not OChem classes he has to go to.)

General/Miscellaneous:

Rise Above It - Switchfoot | Ensemble

don't care what they're telling me/we can be what we want to be/.../just because it's law doesn't mean that it's fair/.../don't believe the system's on your side/.../the curse is spoken/the system's broken; rise above it

→ I mean, how could I not think about Naruto when this song also has the lines 'hear us sing tonight like the last night on earth/we will rise like the tide/like dead men coming back to life/we are rising, rising'? It's fun to be literal sometimes!

Doorways - Radical Face | Allllll the traumatized children → Someone has to put all those tragic childhood flashbacks to good use, after all.

Ghost Towns - Radical Face | take your pick of Itachi, Sasuke, or Post-Kannabi-Bridge!Obito

there's no comin' home/with a name like mine/I still think of you/but everyone knows/yeah everyone knows/if you care, let it go

Blinding Light - Switchfoot | Hey, Hiruzen? You may have coined the phrase, "children are the king" but I don't think you truly understand it... (insert Princess Bride joke here)

hey boy, don't believe them/we're the nation that eats our youth/.../still looking for the blinding light/still looking for the reason why/still looking for the sun to shine/all my life I've been living in the darkest night/still looking for the blinding light/to take me higher and higher

Brother's Blood - Kevin Devine | EVERYONE → ...but certainly so much you could do with Itachi & Sasuke, Obito & Kakashi, Shisui & Itachi, even Hashirama & Madara! Sakumo's teammates turning their backs on him and saying 'I don't know one thing about my brother's blood'?!?! There are SO MANY ideas I have for this song! It gives me chills and makes my brain scream.

We Need Each Other - Sanctus Real | Ensemble → Already mentioned this one to you, but I have to include it here for thoroughness' sake!

Whispering - Alex Clare | the Hidden Leaf's lost/ostracized children/orphans

who will care for the falling?/who will care for the falling leaves?

So this is probably a strange concept to come up with and apply to this song, but the 'whispering, whispering, whispering' parts brought Konaha's virulent gossiping/passing judgement about others and often kids they don't even know problem to mind, too, and yeah?

The World You Want - Switchfoot | Ensemble → If I were to make a fanvid set to this song, I would definitely keep a broad focus, but I can't deny that the lines 'you start to look like what you believe, you float through time like a stream, if the waters of time are made up by you and I, I could change the world for you, you change it for me' FOR SURE has strong Obito & Kakashi/Kakashi & Tenzo vibes.

Red Eyes - Switchfoot | Ensemble, but definitely many dashes of Uchihas 😄 → I would like to thank Masashi Kishimoto for creating a world where red eyes are a Thing of Importance so I can one day make a fanvid using this song in not just the tired or teary bloodshot-red eyes way, but in a very literal sense too.

TAKE MY FIRE - Switchfoot | The Will of Fire → 'Cause I think I'm sooooo clever. 😄

Above The Clouds Of Pompeii - Bear's Den | various parent & child relationships → This obviously derives from the not-caring-about-your-female-characters problem, but it always gets me that all the single parents in the Naruto universe are almost invariably the fathers! I guess sometimes you can safely guess that the mothers are still alive/exist, but either way we hardly ever get to see them. :/ The one exception I can think of right now is Kurenai, but maybe I'm forgetting another conspicuous single mother. Anyway, I don't know if this helps or hinders more a potential Naruto fanvid for this song, but regardless, it still gives me feelings?

Who We Are - Switchfoot | Ensemble → It just makes me inordinately happy that the chorus for this song starts with 'who we are (in the fever of our youth)', you know? :D

Brother - Kodaline | all the friendships we can stuff in here and then some → Quite a well known song I'm pretty sure, but I love how many dynamics one could showcase in a potential fanvid of this. And, not gonna lie, 'oh brother, we go deeper than the ink beneath the skin of our tattoos' deserves to be used in some sort of Tenzo 'n' Kakashi or Team Ro fan creation!

Special Bonus:

Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine | Kakashi & Obito → I'm not sure whether I would have realized how well this works for Kakashi & Obito on my own, funnily enough, but then I found this fanvid of it (containing only scenes you've seen naturally!) and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It's so well done!

Bad (3): Memories We Used to Share

First inspired by this song ➳ Bad by Lennon Stella

(Ransom Drysdale x wife reader)

Summary: It’s time to move out! 6 months of getting your life sorted, along with a few surprises, some pleasant, others not so much.

A/n: My search history is looking weird, due to this series haha. I’ve been reading multiple articles about uncontested divorce just to get an understanding for this series lmao. 

Disclaimer: Just so you know, I’m not a law school graduate, so I can’t say I really know what in the hell I am talking about. With that being said, if I screw up the divorce process in this chapter and/or the next, please don’t come at me. Our law system is confusing and I’m just here to write, no one said it would be accurate lol. 

Warnings: mild profanity & your typical cheesy, predictable fanfic by yours truly. 

Shoutout: MANY THANKS TO THE ANON WHO GAVE ME SOME IDEAS TO MAKE THIS A SERIES!

As always, plz pardon any mistakes, the stories are always proofread but I tend to make many mistakes regardless.

Series Masterlist

For six months, you worked to get your life back together. 

By the end of April, a week after you yelled at your (ex) husband, you had successfully packed up your stuff, without being bothered by the man. Ever since the night you had confronted him, the two of you never stood in the same room or even looked the other in the eye. So it worked in your favor today that he was busy with his new flame, probably entertaining her with a trip to Prada. Never once did you take a break, for eight straight hours, you spent one whole Saturday organizing and strategically packing your things away. Around eight o’clock, all of the boxes were stacked by the front door, ready to be moved into the U-haul trailer attached to your car. Lucky for you, Ransom could care less about what was his and what was yours. The dog, also going home with you. In truth, ever since that day you rightfully ripped the man for his mistakes, a black cloud has loomed over his head, no matter what he may be on the outside, he’s broken on the inside. 

One more box was left in the bedroom, and you quickly jogged up the stairs to get it. Unbeknownst to you, as you were upstairs, Ransom and Blair had come home, apparently mindless to your car in the driveway, because when you walked down the stair box in hand the two pulled away from each other’s lips, staring at you.

You had made an agreement with Ransom that he’d not show up while you packed your things. He had done a good job so far, up until now that is. “Oh, (y/n), I didn’t think you’d be here this late. You should get some rest.”

His “concern” disgusted you. Now he decides to care about you? I think not.

Filled with rage, you drop the cardboard box, letting the contents inside shatter. In most divorces, there wouldn’t be this much emotion, but it hurt you beyond words can describe, to see this man that you loved with every inch of your body, kissing another woman, in YOUR house. You could even see yourself in her shoes, because damn, once upon a time, you WERE her. 

“Are you okay!” Blair came rushing to your side, to try and move you out of the shattered glass. She seemed like a genuinely nice person, and had she not been a home-wrecker, you’d want to be her friend. But at this moment, all you could think about was that she wasn’t even bothered by the fact that she’d been seeing a married man. So, just as Blair tried to help you, you pushed away her hands and collapsed on the steps, lightly sitting in the glass, yet numb to the pain. The weight of the world had finally, physically pushed you to the ground. You were at wits end, and things were looking pretty dark. At this point, you couldn’t even see the light at the end of the tunnel. What had you done to deserve this and would there be a second chance for you? 

Just then, Ransom came to remove Blair, telling her to go get ready for bed, the two clearly coming from a night of clubbing. As she ran up the stairs, mindful of the glass, Ransom came to pick you up. Grabbing your arms, you laid limp against his chest, willingly letting him carry you down the stairs. Oh how you missed his caring touch, why couldn’t things be different? It should've been you out dancing with him, you lip locked with him. Instead, here you were, letting the man who single-handedly destroy your life, carrying you to the couch, laying a blanket and a long kiss on your cheek. Consumed with emotions, sleep soon took over your body before you could protest and leave the house. Had you only heard Ransom’s apology.

“I’m so sorry my precious (y/n), it shouldn’t have been this way, my love.” A few stray tears rolled down Ransom’s cheek as he sadly sauntered up the stairs. 

Ironic, how in a house that was once yours, a new woman took your spot in the bed, besides your once husband, while you slept on the couch like a toy banned to the isle of misfits. 

The next morning, you woke up to the smell of coffee and giggles. You were angry at yourself, no doubt, how could you be so vulnerable by staying at the house? Before you could think anymore, you walked to get your keys, finding that Blair was in the kitchen, cooking pancakes for Ransom, who sat at the kitchen table with coffee and the newspaper. You kinda screwed yourself, by leaving your car keys on the kitchen table. It was your only escape and unfortunately it meant interacting with dumb and dumber. 

The two once again forgot you were there, shocked to see your form walking through the doorway. With a fake smile, you grumbled out a few choice words.

“Don’t worry, I’m getting out of your house ya lovebirds!”

Victory at last. Your words stung Ransom, well, rather word. In another time, you’d say our house, but now, it was no longer the Drysdales’ Household, no, it was Drysdale’s Household, hence why you reminded Ransom that he was alone. Sure, Blair was there but you both knew it wouldn’t last. 

That day, when Ransom and Blair had once again left, going god knows where, Ransom texted you that you could pack your boxes into the u-haul trailer. Since you just wanted to haul ass out of the place this morning, you left the trailer and boxes behind, making a beeline to the nearest bar. So far you had handled yourself without alcohol, but now you needed some relief, specifically in a few whiskey sours. Around 3pm, Ransom then sent that text, and you sobered up, gracefully throwing up in the bathroom stall, then driving to the house to officially get out of his life. Even with a major headache, you managed to pack the trailer. It was then that you realized you were destined to function alone, you didn’t need Ransom. Screw him. 

In May, you went around town, scanning different apartments finally finding one. Unfortunately, there was a waitlist with three people in front of you, the estimated move in time being late July or August. With that being said, you moved all your things into a storage unit and continued to live in a hotel room. Thank the heavens you kept your job, despite Ransom’s pleas for you to stay home when you were married. Somehow, you were able to juggle working and functioning around others, coming home to be your true self, the night normally ending with takeout and tv. This divorce had truly ruined your life, and Ransom’s. The two of you constantly lived with the rain cloud, never once catching a break and seeing a rainbow overhead. For now, you were just separated and soon you’d file for divorce.

Around the last week of May, your life was turned upside down once again. This time, for a good reason. 

Currently, you were on lunch break, eating at a nearby diner with your closest work friend, Lorraine Bailey. She really has been your best friend, taking the title that used to belong to Ransom. At least she was loyal, understanding, and wasn’t a backstabbing bitch *ahem* your ex.

“How are you holding up, honey?”

You were too busy staring into the nothingness of your chicken sandwich, that when Lorainne gently shook your resting hand, you let out an incoherent “huh?”

“I was asking how you are doing? With everything that’s been going on in the past few months--”

Before she could answer, you just snapped, quickly yelling at the woman, who wasn’t trying to be nosy, she was genuinely concerned. 

“Could you just stop nosing around? It’s none of your business really!” 

At that, Lorraine leaned back in her seat, lowering her head like a scolded child. Honestly, you didn’t mean what you had just said and you had no clue where it came from. Lately, your mouth has been an unreliable thing, for you could barely control your answers without acting like a moody child.

Quickly, you excused yourself, lightly jogging to the bathroom to expel the few glasses of water you drank. As you washed your hands, upon looking in the mirror, you were met with a face you barely knew. Sure, you looked the same  on the outside, but on the inside you were a different person. No longer peppy or truly happy. Ransom had taken it all from you, but it was time to take that back. Walking out the bathroom door, you vowed to yourself from this point on you’d try to become your old self. 

Surprisingly, Lorraine still sat at the booth, allowing you to give her a real and sincere apology.

“Lorraine, I’m so sorry, I can’t even fathom the words to justify my actions. Lately, I haven’t been able to truly control my emotions and I took it out on you. That was wrong and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve it, after all you’ve always been here for me.”

The woman smiled at you, despite the tears rolling down your face. Why were you crying and since when did you become such an emotional person? You weren’t cold hearted, but nor were you one to cry at a movie. 

“That’s fine, I know you are under a lot of pressure. What do you say we get out of here and spend the rest of break at the bakery across the street?”

“I’d say you know me very well!” 

Soon, you flagged down the waitress and paid the tab, ignoring Lorraine’s pleas to pay for lunch. It was the least you could do after yelling at the poor woman. As you left the restaurant, the guilt was still surfacing in your body and you felt the need to hug your best friend, who was happily surprised, hugging you back. 

Once in the bakery, you were met with the sight of homemade chocolates, like your dog at home, you were practically drooling. Let’s just say the baker was stunned when you bought two dozens of chocolate, and then proceeded to eat half on the way out. What was even more surprising, was that about a seventy-five percent of your order was chili dark chocolate. 

As you were walking down the street, and to work, Lorraine reached over, tasting one of your chocolates, a chili one to be exact. Her face twisted with disgust and her suspicions were confirmed. 

“Uh, (y/n), I think I might have an explanation for your constant mood swings, the amount of times you leave to the bathroom, and why you’d buy this absolute garbage!”

The minute she listed all the symptoms together, you immediately denied her. 

“Don’t even say it. I’m just moody because I’m mad, I pee a lot because, uh-”

“Exactly! Even you can’t explain all of it. Just do me a favor and buy a test. It won’t hurt anything to try.”

“Yeah, but I know you are wrong, Lorraine.”

“I mean c'mon, don’t you want to know too?”

At that moment, the two of you were halted in front of a CVS, Lorraine pointing at the store like she was Vanna White. 

Your conscience: Maybe you should listen to the woman, after all she has three kids!

And so you did.

Thank god your friend was there, because you were an absolute novice in this field. Sure, you wanted kids, but right now you were praying that you were just having an irregular cycle due to stress. Lorraine, the best, best friend anyone could ask for, bought the test to spare you the embarrassment. 

The minute you walked into work, Lorraine pulled you into the bathroom, giving you instructions, you following them, then waiting for the timer to beep.

Any minute now you’d find your results, and for some reason part of you wanted this test to be positive. It would be nice to have a little company.

Once the timer beeped, you looked at the plastic stick that held your future, immediately smiling when your answer was pregnant.

You were pregnant!

But the father...

Unlike Ransom, you weren’t unfaithful and unfortunately, the father was no doubt him. Of course, the one time that asshole sleeps with you, he got you pregnant. And to think at the time, he didn’t even really love you just enraged you even more. It was gonna be a while till you got over this. 

So the rest of the day you were thrilled, and it was a lot easier to stick to your vows from earlier. Your mood was noticeably different to many of your coworkers, smiles all around. The old (y/n) was slowly reappearing. 

June through July, you spent your days, working and when not working, taking advice on a baby from Lorraine, even visiting her doctor who she so highly recommended. Fortunately, the doctor didn’t prod around in your life and was absolutely judge-free about your situation. You couldn't have been more grateful. 

In early July, you reached the second trimester, where the slightest bump formed on your stomach. Now it wasn’t noticeable to everyone, but to you, just the slightest site made your lips turn upward into a smile. Motherhood was the best thing to happen to you. And to make matters even better, your baby was going to be a Christmas baby, making his or her appearance at the end of December! 

Telling Ransom was gonna be a whole other story.

Finally, August 3rd came around, and the apartment complex office called, an opening for you. Lease signed, you shelled out your first payment and soon moved in, once again alone. It had been months since you’d heard from Ransom and honestly it was nice. 

The month of August flew by, and soon September came. Time passed by with flying colors and your mood had improved a bit, the baby in your stomach making life worth living. On the last Friday of September, your work friends decided that they all needed to go out, inviting you the first weekend of October to go ice-skating and out for dinner! It was time you treated yourself to something nice, so you giddily agreed. What could go wrong? 

That Friday, after work, Lorraine came to pick you up, the two of you going to meet the rest at the ice skating rink. Being 26 weeks pregnant, your stomach had finally started showing, allowing your coworkers to start nagging you. Last they had all heard, you were divorced. So when they asked, you kept your lips shut, it really wasn’t any of their business. The only one who knew was Lorraine, but she wasn’t a gossiper.

Arriving at the ice rink, the cold Massachusetts air was blowing, making you zip up your trench coat ever the slightest. Unfortunately, the wind wasn’t the only thing making your blood run cold. 

Most of your coworkers were out on the ice, Lorraine going out too, you told her you’d be out soon. It was nice to watch the skaters enjoy their time on the ice till you saw him. 

The familiar tan suede coat made your face lose all warmth, your own jacket no longer keeping you warm. Beside the laughing man, was the one and only, Blair, except this time a new accessory on her finger. A diamond ring you could see all the way from your table along the side of the rink. His laughter made you sick, and at this point you wanted to throw up the hot cocoa you had been sipping on. 

At the moment, you and Ransom were in the middle of divorce, thank the heavens an uncontested one, having been able to work many things out with your ex. This meant, zero court hearings (hopefully), a thin expense, and overall a clean divorce. Then, you had hired a paralegal to work on the legal papers and currently the two of you were waiting to see the judge to finalize the divorce, the approximate date set around the second week of November. 

Feeling suddenly insecure, and definitely not ready to tell Ransom, you pulled the large trench coat across your chest and secured it with the belt around the waist. The minute you looked at them, all the memories came flooding back. One specifically hitting you at this moment.

“Ransom, I’m gonna fall! You know I’m a klutz.”

Your husband just persisted and instead slipped on your ice skates, tying them up and resting his warm hands on your knees.

“Honey, I will be right beside you the whole time, and by the end of this, you’ll be a pro!”

His reassuring smile was all you needed, nodding, you placed your gloved hands in Ransom’s bare ones, trying to waddle your way to the rink entrance. First, Ransom skated onto the ice, turning and holding his hand out for you. The minute your feet made contact with the icy ground beneath, you fell straight to the ground, Ransom reached out to grab you, although he ended up going down with you. You looked at Ransom who wore an entertained smile on his face, laughing. Playfully, you slapped the man on the shoulder. 

“My failure isn’t funny!”

Ransom tried his best to cease his laughter, getting off the ice to help you up, although he was still chuckling the slightest bit. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it!” 

Once on your feet, Ransom locked arms with you, trying his best to balance you both, while also coaching you. 

At some point through the night, the fake snow was fluttering in the air, along with tunes of piano and jazz. You had finally gotten the hang of things somewhat, yet still latched close to Ransom. The man on your side, leaned down and whispered in your ear.

“I give you my word that every year I’ll bring you to this exact rink, just to teach you how to skate, darling.”

If only that same Ransom was the one you were staring at right now. 

But overall, looking back, memories like those, with him, are the ones you miss.

Why did he have to change?

“(y/n)?”

A tap on your shoulder, made you pop up from your seat to be met with the stare of that same man. He slowly gave you a once-over, making you slightly worry that he’d notice the baby bump.

He didn’t. 

“Ransom.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing, Drysdale.” 

Clearly, Ransom was trying to give you an olive branch, but at the moment, you just weren’t accepting it.

“I asked you first, (y/l/n).”

“Work.”

Your voice was monotone and Ransom gave a slight hum of acknowledgment. 

“Nice. Well uh- it was nice seeing you.”

Nervously, Ransom waved you goodbye, heading back to Blair who was removing her ice skates. You took notice how she was struggling and Ransom wasn’t down on his knees helping her as he did you. It did your ego good to see that your husband hadn’t completely replaced you. There was a difference between you and Blair. Ransom actually loved you, like the “die for you” kind of love. While Blair, on the other hand, was honestly there to fill the whole in his heart. 

It did intrigue you though as to why Ransom wasn’t being an arrogant jerk to you, yet he was being humble? None of it added up, but before you could do any more mental acrobatics, Lorraine came over, asking you to come ice skate, to which you smiled and put on your skates. 

Tonight was about you, not him. 

Something you hadn’t said in a long time.

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Hey There, Delilah || JackCrutchie One Shot

a/n: based off the song 'Hey There Delilah' by Plain White T's,, modern AU in which jack leaves to santa fe for art school! (he also knows how to play the guitar)

i'll be taking out some of the 'hey there delilah' lines but most of the song is there :) i also won't be doing the chorus,, also i changed girl to boy :D,, alsoalso i changed some of the wording to make more sense to the story lol

i would also like to say sorry in advance to any guitar players because i 100% butchered the slang

also so many also's i do not write songs so i probably got it completely wrong on how to release a song, so i'm sorry that it's probably not that realistic in that aspect lol

hey there, delilah, what's it like in New York city?

Jack spent every day regretting his choice to leave New York city. Sure, he was successful and doing well in his classes. Hell, he had even gotten better at playing guitar. He was writing songs, and the songs were good. But he wanted to achieve all of those things with Crutchie by his side.

Every night, without fail, he would pick up his phone and facetime his friend. Crutchie would usually answer, it would send Jack into a frenzy when he didn't, with a smile and ask about his classes.

So that night, as usual, he picked up the phone and called his best friend.

"Hey! Crutchie!" He grinned as the curly haired boy answered the phone.

Crutchie smiled back. "Hiya, Jack! How's school going?" He looked around and then whispered into the phone as he wiggled his eyebrows, "How's your cute roommate? Where is he?" Crutchie picked his head up and looked around his screen as if that would help him find said roommate.

Jack's heart tugged but he passed it off with a chuckle, "Davey's out right now. Probably playing violin for his boyfriend."

"He's got a boyfriend now?" Crutchie frowned, "Darn. I would've come over and everything just to see him!"

"And not me?" Jack attempted to joke, but a lump formed in his throat.

Crutchie shrugged. "Eh, guess it wouldn't be too bad to see you again." Jack gave him a small smile.

"How's New York, huh?" He asked.

"Same as always, Jack!" Crutchie grinned, "We won't change too much without ya, promise."

i'm a thousand miles away but, boy, tonight you look so pretty. yeah, you do.

Crutchie smiled widely and his laugh sounded exactly like an angels laugh to Jack. The blonde hair that framed Crutchie's face bounced as he shook with happy laughter. Jack grinned and admired how the light from the phone illuminated Crutchie's face perfectly.

"It night for ya, Crutchie?" Jack asked.

Crutchie nodded. " 'Course it is, Jack. Not that big of a deal though."

"How late's it? Did I wake ya?"

"Nah," Crutchie smiled and shook his head, "Not that late. Anyways, I was waiting for ya call! So you didn't wake me. Haven't slept yet today."

Jack sighed, "Sorry for keeping ya up late, Crutch. Get some rest, yeah?"

Crutchie nodded, "Not tired right now. But I'll get to sleep soon, Jack. Hey, guess what happened today!"

"What happened?"

"Race and Albert finally got together, only took them forever to realize they liked each other!" Jack didn't miss how ironic the statement was, considering Crutchie hadn't noticed Jack's crush on him. Crutchie continued to talk, "Oh! Mush and Kid Blink finally got to adopt the kid they were fostering."

time square can't shine as bright as you

Crutchie's face glowed with happiness for his friends. His face was lit by the phone's brightness but his smile made him glow even brighter. He looked genuinely happy and proud for his friends.

Jack had genuinely never seen anything as bright and beautiful as Crutchie. Which was saying something, considering he had lived in an apartment not too far from Time Square.

"Jack?" Crutchie called out. Jack shook out of his thoughts and blinked.

"Sorry, Crutch," He sighed, "Miss all them. They were pretty alright."

Crutchie smiled, "They miss ya too, Jack. We all do. Maybe call me during the day and you can see 'em!" He joked

"Maybe," Jack laughed, "It's just so stressful. I can't even get a plane ticket out for Christmas break, I barely have enough money to keep paying tuition. Apparently, a resume that consists of going to art school and throwing newspapers from your bike when you were 8 isn't that great."

don't you worry about the distance

"It's alright, buddy. We were hoping to see ya for Christmas, but don't stress it, yeah?" Crutchie said with a reassuring smile, "We can just facetime you. 'Kay? When's your Christmas break anyways? Christmas is coming up like next week."

Jack ran a hand through his hair, "Today was my last day of class 'til like January. I might try to sell some of my art, maybe sing on the corner of a street and hope for some change."

"Right," Crutchie sighed, "At the corner of the street? C'mon, Jackie boy. I'd be worried out of my mind. You're so far. What'm I to do if you get hurt? God, couldn't have chosen a school that isn't almost 2,000 miles away, could ya?"

Jack chuckled, "Sorry, Crutch. You know it was my dream for, like, ever. I promise I'll try to get back as soon as I can. And I'll stay safe, just for you."

i'm right there if you get lonely

"All the guys are great," Crutchie started, "Don't get me wrong. Love them all too death. But, you're my bestfriend, Jack. Even with all these people around me, I feel so alone."

Jack laughed a little and gave him a small grin. "I know, bud. I do too. But I'm just a call away, all right? I promise, I'll pick up every call from you."

"Promise?"

"Promise, Crutch."

"Hey, Jack?"

"Yeah?"

Crutchie scratched at his neck and offered a smile. "Think ya could sing me a song? Makes it feel like you're here sometimes."

"Tell ya what," Jack said, "I'll record it, yeah? Then you can listen to it whenever."

Crutchie smiled widely. "Yeah! Thanks, Jack."

"It's 12 here, 'means it's probably 2 back home. Get some sleep. I'll call ya tomorrow," Jack promised.

"Same time?"

Jack shrugged. "Might take ya up on that offer and call ya during the day. Say hi to the boys, and Kath."

"Oh! Speaking of Kath! She finally got to work for the New York Times!"

"Jeez, I'm missing everything. Gotta get back soon. Call ya tomorrow."

Crutchie grinned and gave a nod. "Gotcha! See ya tomorrow."

And the call ended. Jack felt alone again.

give this song another listen, close your eyes. listen to my voice, it's my disguise.

Jack pushed back his feeling and kept his word by immediately grabbing his guitar as soon as the called ended. He propped his phone up to face him and turned on his ring light. The guitar strings sang a lovely tune as Jack strummed them.

He started to hum along before actually singing. He didn't really think about the lyrics, words were just falling off his tongue. If you asked him what he said later, his honest answer would be; "I don't know."

Finally, his strumming and singing came to an end. He flashed a bright smile at the camera before he stopped filming. "Night Crutchie," He said to the phone and then stopped recording.

As soon as Jack sent the video, a little read popped up underneath it. He grinned as he typed: were you waiting for the video?

i'm by your side

A reply: maybe. i know i said it earlier, but i miss ya

Jack answered: i know. but i'm always gonna be next to ya, physically or not. you always got me on your side

A few seconds later: thanks , jack. for that and the video. g'night :)

Jack grinned and then sighed. He shut his phone off and tossed it on top of his bedside table. Tiredly, he pushed up and turned off all of his lights before flopping back down onto the bed.

He stared at the ceiling until a giddy Davey stumbled through the door; He was giggling and down-right swooning.

"I assume you had a nice date?" Jack called out.

David paused and inhaled sharply before turning on a light. "Christ Jack. You scared the living daylights out of me! Honestly, sitting in here in the dark. Laying down like you're in a coffin! Might as well be a vampire." Jack let out a short laugh. Davey had been shuffling things around the room to straighten it out more. Finally, he sighed happily and fell onto his own bed. "But yes, my date was nice. More than nice, he was great. The date was great, everything was great! I think I really like him, Jack."

Jack looked over at him and smiled. "That's good, Dave. Real good. Real happy for ya."

Davey shook his head, his grin faltering only slightly; it turned into a more sad and pitiful smile. "You called Crutchie again, didn't you?"

" 'Course I did! You know me, I'm a man of traditions," He said with a sigh.

"It's not good if those traditions hurt you." Davey sighed too and ran a hand over his face. "You should tell him, Jack. I may not know him all too well, but I've got a feeling that boy wouldn't leave you for anything. You could kill someone and Crutchie would still be right by your side."

"Maybe I'll tell him one day," He said, "It's fine. I actually want to hear all about your date." Jack sat up and waved his hands to signal Davey to start talking.

David grinned again and started to ramble on and on about his date. Jack sat and listened to him talk for what seemed like hours. Eventually, it got late and the boys both tiredly laid in their beds. The light was still on but neither of them wanted to get up.

Jacks voice was full of sleep. "Got enough money to go home for Christmas?"

"Nope. You and I will be stuck here together for a while," David said with a tired chuckle. Jack hummed to prove he had heard the statement.

"Should call Crutchie with me 'morrow. Meet the others too," Jack stated with a yawn. He could hear David nod against his pillow. Tiredly, Jack reached out an arm and switched the light off. They exchanged 'nights' before falling asleep.

i know times are getting hard

"Crutchie's calling!" David called from outside the restroom door.

" 'll be ou 'n minught!" Jack yelled back, his mouth full with toothpaste and a toothbrush.

"Huh?"

Jack sighed and threw open the door. He continued to brush his teeth as he answered the facetime. He waved at the camera.

"Talk ta Davey!" Jack said through a mouthful of foam before shoving the phone into Dave's hands.

"Hey Crutchie!"

"Hiya, Dave! Heard you finally got a boyfriend! Went out with him last night, right? How'd it go?"

"Well- He isn't my boyfriend. Just went on a date with him."

"Oh! Jack said he was your boyfriend!"

Davey sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Of course he did."

Jack rolled his eyes as he spit out the toothpaste. He ran a wet towel over his face then tossed it back into the sink. He straightened out his shirt before walking back into the room and taking his phone.

"Crutch! What's up? Usually I'm the one calling you!"

Crutchie's bright smile immediately fell as he scratched at his neck. "Well- They upped the rent for the apartment. Again. Dunno how much longer I'll be able to keep it if I'm relying just on my disability check. 'Specially if they keep jacking up the price."

Jack shot Dave a look, to which he responded by nodding and leaving the dorm.

just believe me, boy, someday i'll pay the bills with this guitar

"It's alright. We just got to keep it 'til I get out of school. I'll get another job, 'kay? I'll send money to ya," Jack promised.

Crutchie shook his head. "I can't ask that of ya, Jack! Ya already got so much on your plate. Taking a second job along with school will be too much. You'll die of stress!"

Jack nodded with a sigh. "You're right, I wouldn't be able to handle it all. But listen, one day, I'll make it with the big shots. You'll hear me and my guitar on the radio! All our rent and bills will be paid. And maybe, I can sell my art if this god forsaken school teaches me enough."

"I believe ya, Jack." Crutchie said with a smile.

we'll have it good. we'll have the life we knew we would

"We'll both be livin' 'mongst the big shots, Crutch. Have a nice house. Won't have to live off your disability check," He stated.

Crutchie shook his head and grinned. "Sounds nice. Livin' the good life. The American dream. We bringing our friends along?"

" 'Course we are! Race and Albert'll live a few houses down. Kid Blink and Mush and their kid'll live right next door! Kath will bunk with Dave's sister once we meet her. All of 'em. We'll have our own little neighborhood!" Jack gushed, "Davey can stay with you and me. As long as you promise not to flirt with him."

"Oh, 'bout that," Crutchie started, "David told me he didn't have a boyfriend! Was just going on a date with a guy last night. Why'd you tell me he had a boyfriend?"

"Uh- Well- I mean- No reason. Same type of thing when we called Albert and Race boyfriends before they was even dating! Ya know? Besides, with how much Dave gushed to me about that guy last night- I'd assume they'll be dating soon."

Crutchie grinned. "That the only reason you told me he had a boyfriend?"

Jack flushed. " 'Course it is. Besides, that's not important. Just- We'll be livin' good, alright? I promise you that. I gotta go, but I'm gonna call you in a couple hours. Text me when you're with the others?"

"Will do!"

And once again, the call ended. And once again, when the phone beeped, Jack's heart ached. All he wanted to do was talk to Crutchie for hours. To be with him every day.

my word is good

But, he had a promise to keep. Immediately, he took out the song he had been working. Changed the name 'Crutchie' to 'Delilah' to keep his secrecy, which he was sure he needed. He was certain he'd be able to get the song out. He was certain it'd be popular enough that; 1. they would make good money, and that 2. Crutchie would hear his name on the radio if he didn't change it.

And so he worked for hours, changing the song a little in hopes that no-one would guess it was about Crutchie. He worked with different notes to find which ones would fit best. Davey had finally come back, so Jack went over the song with him. Asked him if sounded alright to which he received an exasperated sigh from his roommate.

"It sounds amazing. Even after the 10 different versions you made me listen to. You should change the name to Crutchie, though." Jack shot him a glare. "What? It's obviously about him. Whatever. I think it's great. I'm gonna look up how you can get the song on the radio."

Jack thanked him shortly before continuing to mess around with the notes and lyrics. He finally figured out the exacts notes and lyrics he wanted to be in the song. Davey recorded him singing and they immediately got to work in looking up how to get his song out. They found out that they needed to start by getting a producer.

After a couple of hours, he received a text from Crutchie: With everyone now.

"Dave!" Jack called from the couch in the living room.

The tall and lanky boy looked over the top of his computer. "What? I'm trying to get you a producer!"

"Whatever! It can wait! Crutchie's with the whole gang. I want ya to meet them," Jack said and waved him over, "Come on!"

Dave snorted and slid into the spot next Jack on the couch. "Do they all have dumb accents like you do?"

Jack waved him off and facetimed Crutchie.

"Jack!" A wave of multiple voices cheered.

Davey snickered and whispered to Jack, "They do all have your dumb accent!"

Jack smiled and shook his head. "Hey gang! This is the David Jacobs I'm always talking about." He turned the camera to Davey who waved and smiled.

"Nice to meet you all! Hopefully I can actually formally meet you all in person one day!"

A chorus of 'Hi Davey!''s and 'Nice to meet you!''s came from the other end of the phone.

"Hey! Congrats Albert and Racer! The other's are probably so happy to have the tension all gone. One thing good 'bout leaving was not having to deal with you two idiots and your obliviousness!" Jack joked.

"I'll come over and personally beat ya, Kelly!" Albert shouted.

"Thankya, Jack!" Race called from the back of the crowd.

"Mush! Blink! Jas officially yours?" He asked.

The two boys nodded eagerly. "That's what the state says!"

"Happy for ya all," Jack said earnestly, "Wish I could be there for Christmas. Miss ya."

"We miss you too, Jack." Specs admitted.

"Come back as soon as you can, 'kay?" Katherine added.

"Kath! Congrats on getting into the Times!" Jack smiled. "Promise I'll be back soon."

"Famous Jack Kelly never breaks his promises!" Romeo stated, "We're counting on you, man!"

"I hate to cut this meeting short," Dave said whilst staring at his phone. "But I got you a producer and everything! We gotta go!"

"Producer?"

"Whatcha planning, Jack?"

"What kind of producer?"

"Jack?"

"We barely got to talk!"

Jack looked at Davey, his excitement glistening in his eyes. "Guys! I'll explain it later, okay? I'm sorry! I love you all so much! Take care of each other for me! I'll call again soon!"

So he hung up the phone again. This time, he was too excited to be sad. He was going to help Crutchie with the rent. He was going to take all of his friends to live in Hollywood.

They quickly sped through the streets and raced towards the address the producer had sent them. They arrived at what appeared to be a studio and were quickly escorted inside.

"Hello dear!" A lady said. She leaned over and shook Jack and Davey's hands. "My name is Medda Larkin! But please, call me Medda!" She turned to fully face Jack. "Your friend here- Davey, was it? Sent in your song! It's incredible! I'd like to offer you a contract! For 5 years, you'll work for me. I'll go over your songs and help you produce and release them!"

"And how much do you want? Money, I mean." Davey asked.

"10% of all profits," Medda stated. Davey and Jack looked at each other with a smile.

Jack leaned over the table and firmly shook her hand. "You got yourself a deal, Ms. Medda!"

-

Jack recorded the song in the studio. It sounded a lot better, but it was still his song, there were no major changes. Medda was a great producer. For the most part, she let Jack do whatever he wanted with the song. She gave advice but that was mostly it. She was great to talk to too.

For days, his phone blew up with messages.

'What was that all about when we called?'

'What'd ya need a producer for?'

'Don't leave us in the dark, Jack!'

'You're the reason Race keeps me up at night! Won't stop guessing what you're up to. Tell us what's up when you can, man.'

'Ya gonna be in the pictures? Producing a movie? A book? Jaaack!'

'Jack! Let me know when you can come in, mkay? We want to go over some things with you!'

'You always tell me stuff, Jackie!'

He still called Crutchie everyday. But suddenly, he was always busy. The calls continued to go on later and later each night. Still, Crutchie waited. No matter how late it got for him.

Jack constantly got asked by Crutchie what the whole producer thing was about. However, he always dodged the question. He wasn't ready to share.

On Christmas Eve, he received a text from Medda. Jack! Tune into the radio!

He immediately turned on the radio they had in their room.

Davey jumped out of his bed and ran next to Jack. "Is it finally happening?"

"Dunno!" Jack replied. The song came to an end and the person on the radio began to speak.

"Next up, we have a song from the up and coming artist: Jack Kelly!"

David and Jack exchanged looks before squealing as they jumped up and down. The first few notes started to play. Shaking, Jack called Crutchie.

"Ja-"

"Crutch! Quick! Turn on the radio! Right. Now!"

"I'm with everyon-"

"Even better! Turn it on!"

"Okay! Okay! Does this have something to do wi-"

"Just turn it on!"

He could hear his friends all muttering from the other end of the line. They turned on the radio right after Jack's own voice sang, 'My word is good.'

The radio on the other end played the song, the song Jack's voice was singing.

'Hey there, Delilah I've got so much left to say If every simple song I wrote to you Would take your breath away I'd write it all Even more in love with me you'd fall We'd have it all A thousand miles seems pretty far But they've got planes and trains and cars I'd walk to you if I had no other way Our friends would all make fun of us And we'll just laugh along because we know That none of them have felt this way Delilah, I can promise you That by the time we get through The world will never ever be the same And you're to blame'

The song continued to play in the background as Crutchie spoke, his voice full of awe. "That's you Jack! That's ya voice!"

"Yeah, Crutch. It's me," Jack choked out, his eyes filling with happy tears. "I told ya, man. I told ya. We'll be living the life, bud."

The song came to an end and all of his friends at the other end cheered.

"See ya, Jack."

"Wh-"

The call ended. Jack froze. His mind swarmed with thoughts. Did he not like it? Could he tell it was about him? Is he mad I didn't tell him I put out a song?

Davey pulled him out of his thoughts as he grabbed him in a tight hug. "You did it, Jack! I'm so proud! Congrats!"

He smiled slightly at him. "Thanks, Dave. Really. I couldn't have done it without ya." He quickly pulled out his phone and sent a text: You're amazing, Ms. Medda.

He got a quick answer: You did this all by yourself, kid. You're great. You're gonna make it. I'm really proud of you.

Even with all of the support, Jack couldn't help but feel anxious. Crutchie had just hung up on him. He'd never done that before. And he said "See ya" like people in the films do when they're leaving for good.

Jack spent the day thanking people for their congrats and biting his nails. He had confided in Davey, who gave him a pat on the back and told him everything was going to be okay. It wasn't very reassuring.

But that night, when the clock hit 12 am and David had left for another date, he got a facetime from Crutchie. His heart skipped a beat and he quickly got up to turn on a light before he answered the call.

you be good, and don't you miss me

"Crutchie!"

"Hiya, Jack."

"Where are you?"

"No where important."

That didn't make Jack feel any better.

"Alright."

"I miss you, Jack. So much," Crutchie admitted quietly.

Jack's heart tugged at his voice. "Don't. I'm always with you, Crutchie. We could be in different planets or whatever. But my soul? It's forever with you. It'll never leave your side. Trust me, I've tried to take it back. You got a pretty strong hold on it."

Crutchie chuckled and wiped at his eyes. "Good to know. Your song was amazing. Delilah. She sounds great, Jackie."

Jack's heart skipped another beat. "Yeah. Delilah. She's a doll." He sighed.

two more years and i'll be done with school

"How much longer are you away anyways? You've been gone for so long. Least I got to see you last year during summer break. Haven't seen you in months. It's different, you know? I used to see you everyday. It sucks not waking up to you painting in the living room."

"Two more years, Crutch." Jack said with a sad smile, "Then I'll come home to you. And I promise I'll stay. If for some reason I have to go, you'll be going with me."

Crutchie nodded. "Promise?"

"You know me. Of course I promise. I'd never lie to you, okay? And anything you want, I'll give it to you. If you seriously want me to come home, I will drop everything for you."

"I want you home, Jack. But I need you to do this. You need to do this. I know you can. You're gonna be great. Your art, your music. You'll go down in history."

and i'll be making history like i do. you know it's all because of you

"Crutchie." Jack started, "Everything I do, everything I am, is because of you. You know that? I live for you, Crutchie Morris. And to hell with it all if I don't get to come back to you at the end of these two years. You'll wait for me, right?"

"Jack. The second you walk through the doors of our apartment, I'll be there. I'll be waiting there on the couch for you. And I'll throw you a great big graduation party. Of course I'll wait for you, Jack. All I care about is seeing you come home."

Jack grinned. "Thanks, Crutch. For everything. I never would've pursued art school if it wasn't for you. I would've never bought this guitar from that garage sale if it weren't for you. You're the reason for everything."

we can do whatever we want to

"We made it," Jack stated.

"You made it."

Jack shook his head. "We're together in everything, Crutchie. Even our success. So we made it. Together."

"Yeah?" Crutchie smiled as he walked. Jack still couldn't tell where he was. "What do we do now that we've made it?"

Jack shrugged. "Go to the Bahamas. Go skiing, climb Mt. Everest. Go rock climbing or scuba diving in Hawaii! Buy a thousand acres and make our own little city with all of our friends. We do whatever we want. No more getting controlled by anyone else."

"Sounds good to me."

hey there, Delilah, here's to you. this one's for you.

"You able to get a drink?" Jack asked, "Wherever the hell you are?"

"Not right now, why?"

Jack sighed. "Whatever. I'm giving a toast anyways." He picked up his cup of water and lifted it. "To Crutchie. The boy behind it all."

Crutchie smiled. "Behind it all? It's not like the song's about me."

Jack's heart skipped a beat for the third time. "Right, but I wouldn't have made the song without the guitar. And I wouldn't have the guitar without you. So! The boy behind it all!"

Crutchie grinned again and shook his head. He walked into a building but Jack was too busy sipping his water to notice.

"Crutchie. Listen to me. I get paid next week. I promise, the second I get that money. I'm getting a plane ticket and coming to New York for you."

"You won't need to."

"Wha-"

"Jack?" Crutchie asked, his voice sounded serious. "The song was about me, wasn't it?"

And the call ended.

But Jacks heart didn't tug. Which was odd. He wasn't excited. Nothing was happening. Why didn't it hurt? His head turned to the door, he didn't know why but it did. Seconds later, he heard a knuckle knocking against the same door.

His heart pounded against his chest- again, he didn't know why- as he got up to open the door.

The second he opened it, arms were thrown around his neck and he was pulled down. His lips were met with someone else's. He started to pull away, until he smelt a familiar scent. Vanilla and dust.

Crutchie.

He opened his eyes to confirm. And he was right. There was the small boy that he had yearned to be next to. The boy he had missed for months.

Jack pulled away and hugged the boy tightly.

"I can't believe you're here. Oh my god," He pulled him into the dorm as he continued to hug him. "How did- How did you know the song was about you?"

Crutchie smiled. "You don't remember what the lyrics of the song you sent me last week were, do you?" Jack tried to wrack his brain for the answer, but he couldn't find it. He shook his head. "Same song. You just forgot to change the name to Delilah that time."

"Oh," Jack said. His cheeks burned and he knew they were bright red. Crutchie shook his head and pulled him down for another kiss.

Their lips met again and suddenly home didn't seem like their apartment in New York. No, Jack thought, this is home.

In fact, the apartment had never been his home. Crutchie was. He always was. From the day they had first met, Crutchie was home.

And as for Crutchie? Well, his home was Jack.

Because no matter where they went, it would never be home without the other.

"Merry Christmas," Crutchie muttered against Jack's lips.

Sure enough, it was 1 am on Christmas day. And Jack was sure that the greatest Christmas present he had ever and would ever receive, was Crutchie.

Fandom Wank Story Hour - Jonerys Edition

This week:  The Case of the Fic Thieves (?)

Hello, gang!

Are you ready for a story?  It’s a good one.  It’s full of angst and drama (mostly self-inflicted, wild allegations based on pure speculation, all sorts of fun stuff.  I bet some of you know it, but this post is for everyone who doesnt.)

But first?  An apology.

It’s hard to admit when you’re wrong.  Especially when you’re so, so sure you’re right.  Maybe it’s just jumping to the wrong conclusions.  Maybe it’s intentional, and you’re just looking for something to be offended by.  Maybe it’s just a mistake and you took someone else’s word for it.  Lots of possibilities.

This apology, however, is not one I’m owed, but one I owe, and in the spirit of acknowledging that it sucks but it’s the right thing to do, here’s mine:

A few months back an author in this particular group I know thought someone posted a fic on ao3 that copied her fic.  Now, immediately, I bet you can guess how it went down.  OUTRAGE!  SCANDAL!  And even yours truly was not immune.  I hopped right on the groupthink train without even reading the fic, just the summary.  In the end, that fic WAS stolen, not from Alice, but from another fandom.

I was wrong, though, to jump to conclusions and take other people’s word on something I should’ve checked out myself, and I’m sorry that I did it.  Truly.

It is that ironic mistake of mine that leads us to today, and other allegations of theft, that stem from some in this fandom and were directed first at @magalidragon.  Was she accused to stealing actual fics?  No.  Goalpost shift.  Now the fandom crimes for which you may be accused, with or without any actual merit, are moodboard posts (for example, apparently it was idea theft when Mags posted a Bones AU moodboard idea too closely to Amy’s Halloween Medical Examiner AU), fic teases that use the wrong word choice, or even just suggesting that you have an idea that is even remotely adjacent to anything any of the Tumblrina chat has written.  That’s what’s going on.  And even though this has apparently gone on for months in the minds of some folks, they never said a word, just unloaded and made all sorts of accusations all at once.

You know, bullying.  A good old fashioned pile-on, done in an open chat, instead of privately.  But okay.

And not a hot week after the other authors Mags mistakenly thought were friends accused her of stealing ideas from all of them, and how they couldn’t talk about fic ideas in their chat for fear Mags would steal them, we get to the collab fic that was teased on Wednesday.

The crime?  Referencing eligible lords for Dany to marry as ‘bachelors’.

Cue all hell breaking loose when all of a sudden Mags and I are both rotten fic thieves out to steal a fic idea from @muttpeeta (This might link for you but it doesn’t for me since I’m apparently blocked lol), her Bachelor fic.

Oh, the accusations flew.  In fact, they were so rampant from @stilesssolo that I reached out to both Amy AND Sabrina like “WTF?  You actually think I’d steal from you?”

At least Amy had the nuts to answer with no before she blocked me, but the drama continues.  Now it’s posting as though the very same people who were out for blood just a few days ago, ready to tell anyone and everyone in vague, passive aggressive posts, how they are the victims of this mean old fandom.

This shit’s gotta stop, because it’s not the first time this has happened.  We all bitch and complain about this fandom and all the drama and all the bullshit but it’s not gonna get better if you are complaining on one hand then actively seeking out drama or things to get offended by or upset about on the other.

If we want things to improve, and genuinely want this fandom to be a better place, then maybe we should start by admitting when we’re wrong, and maybe, just maybe, giving people the benefit of the doubt, or a little grace.  As authors and content creators, it kinda has to start with us, yeah?

Let’s try to make 2021 a little less contentious.  Fanfic isn’t a competition.  We can all exist in our own little niches and never have to have friction again, but that means maybe taking a look inside, too, and seeing how we are all contributing to the general atmosphere.

I know I’m capable of that.  I hope my fellow writers, whether we are friends or we never speak at all, can do that to.  I would have preferred to have handled all this privately, and tried to, but when people block you so they don’t have to face lying about you or accusing you of shit, and still try to milk the pity and act like they’ve been wronged when they were the guilty party, I gotta say, it just doesn’t sit right with me.

I don’t even expect any of the ones responsible will apologize to me or Mags, and that’s okay.  There’s no rule that says we all have to hold hands and sing songs together.  We’re still gonna keep writing fics, and trying to have some fun, and give you guys out there the same sort of stuff you’ve come to enjoy from us, until we get sick of it or GRRM finally drops that new book :P

Until then, I very sincerely hope that, if nothing else, we can all try to be a little more mature about things.  If you genuinely think someone’s wronged you, TALK TO THEM.  There’s no need to make everything a public spectacle - but you can be damn sure that if you start it that way that’s what you’re gonna get.  Being too scared to directly tag people you’re accusing of stuff doesn’t protect you from that.

SixVengers - The Beginning (Fic 1) Chapter 6

@kenneth.mark.82 Mark Keeneth

Who would have thought that London might be destroyed tomorrow lol

13 replies 20 retweets 2031 likes

@spider_woman_fan_club Spider-Woman Fan Club

England is about to get destroyed and all I can think of is Spider-Woman flying today through London, looking good as always :/

303 replies 1025 retweets 70K likes

@superheronewsuk Super Hero News UK Official

BREAKING NEWS:

The City of London and surrounding areas are evacuated due to the upcoming Alien invasion that will hit London. The Prime Minister will release an official statement at 7 p.m. about the situation but unofficial sources claim that British heroes were asked to defend London.

20K replies 32K retweets 801K likes

Katherine closed Twitter and looked outside the window. She was in a car with Agent Blount and Anna on their way towards Parr Tower. It was decided after the meeting, and once everyone had cooled down, that the best thing for the team was to stay the night together and the best place for it would be Parr Industries Headquarters in central London. This meant that if by some chance, the attacks started earlier, the group of heroes would be able to get there faster than if they were travelling from their homes, most of them being on the edges of the city.

To pass time through travelling through central London, she was on her phone like any normal teenager would be and she was surprised that people didn't freak out that much. Kat knew that, that would change when the attack would take place.

After travelling for 30 minutes through busy streets of London, the cars containing the heroes and three agents *kidnappers* thought Katherine, finally arrived at Parr Tower, where they would spend the night getting to know the other members of the team and getting ready to fight Henry.

The three of them left the car and met up with Parr, Boleyn and Lee who arrived just a minute before. The group were joined by Aragon, Seymour and Salinas after a short while, the trio arriving last. The nine women made their way inside the tower and Katherine was impressed, to say the least. Whoever designed the building had taste. It was modern and white with blue accents. Very tasteful and minimalistic.

Kat could see many people walking around, minding their own or company businesses, nobody paying attention to the large group of women that had just entered. One of the security guards approached Parr and whispered something to which she nodded and led them towards a large elevator on the left side of the entrance, bypassing the security. It was fortunately large enough to fit all of them comfortably. The door closed but nobody clicked any buttons.

“BRIAN? Please take us to floor 80.” Said Catherine and everyone looked around, not seeing who this Brian was. However, all of them jumped when she got a reply.

“Of course Miss Parr, right away. I will also put the light on and adjust the temperature.” Said the robotic voice from inside the elevator and quickly started moving upwards.

“I presume it was some sort of computer?” Asked Anne awkwardly, not knowing what to say about the whole situation. “But that’s just my observation.”

“Actually, it’s an AI, fully functional and capable of thinking for himself,” Parr said with a small, proud smile. “I named him after my uncle who took care of my brother and I after our parents died.”

“That’s sentimental.” Smiled Seymour and the whole elevator went back to a (somehow) comfortable silence until the elevator stopped with a ping.

The door opened to show a large living room. It had a see-through wall on the opposite side of the elevator. Along that wall was a row of white, comfortable-looking couches and chairs. The walls were painted a light sky blue and grey, giving the whole room a calming look.

“Whoa, this looks nice, Parr. What a nice room to greet your guests. It’s very… you.” Joked Anne, jumping on the nearest couch, and putting her legs on the coffee table.

“I think it’s just parrfect.” Said Seymour and everyone looked towards her weirdly. “Sorry, I was trying to make a pun.” She chuckled to herself.

“I heard that you were a comedian but I don’t understand how anyone would laugh at that.” Replied Anne, earning a chuckle from both Katherine and Anna. However she also received a stern look from 3 Agents in the room - Salinas, Aragon and Lee - and a sad puppy look from Seymour. Parr and Blount just shook their heads.

“If most of you stopped behaving like children, I would like to point out that it’s my living room that most of my guests never see so be grateful,” Catherine said before anyone could say anything else. “This is one of my 3 personal floors so please don’t wreck it too much. I still want to spend time in my living room without it being destroyed… again.”

“What do you mean again? Did a group of women with some sort of abilities destroy it before?” Asked Bessie, sitting down on a nearby couch next to Anna and Katherine.

“Nope. It was BRIAN and me. Well, I mean he was in one of the suits and I was in another. We had a mock fight in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep which definitely wasn’t my greatest idea. We ripped a huge hole in the ceiling.”

“Now I want to see you do it again if I’m being honest.” Said Anne.

“I’ll bring popcorn for the entertainment.” Added Anna and the two of them high fived each other in the air from a distance.

“I think we should pick someone to be your leader for the mission. While Director Meutas will be controlling the whole operation from the TOWER along with many agents, there will have to be one of you making sure that everything out there on the field is going okay. It will be just the six of you. Military and a few agents will help you but they will mostly have to make sure that any civilians in the city will be safe.” Stated Salinas as an unofficial leader of Agents (other than Aragon)

The heroes looked between each other, silently debating the choice.

“Well, I am underage so I’m out” Said Katherine with a smug smile.

“I have anger issues that count me out as a reliable leader.” Added Anne, smirking slightly.

“Don’t look at me, I can barely look after myself to make sure that I don’t accidentally die. No positions of power for me, hey!” Laughed Anna, getting comfortable on her couch.

The remaining three women looked around, each looking at the other two women in silence.

“I think each one of us would be a good leader…” Said Jane, looking at Aragon and Parr, meeting their eyes. “However, as the oldest person here, I think I have the most experience in this type of job. Let us also not forget that I was and still am a Captain in British Army.”

“Sorry? You were frozen in ice for 70 years. I think that means you still are as young as you were back then, Seymour. I, on the other hand, am an agent in a secret government agency who knows how London works and I know this city.” Countered Aragon jumping towards Seymour, looking straight into her eyes.

“Really? Everything you do is being told to you. I led men into a battle and we won. You don’t have that experience, Aragon.”

“Unless you haven’t noticed, I’m not sure if being in the freezer for so long damaged your vision, but we are not men. We are women and we need someone who can lead us. You are not that so just step down and let me do it.”

“I don’t think so. I am not letting you do it. I won’t let some random woman lead this team and possibly cause us to lose.”

“YOU LITTLE-” Started Aragon, grabbing Seymour by her suit before they suddenly found themselves on opposite sides of the room, thrown against the walls.

The room was silent as they looked at what happened only to see Parr standing where they were before, wearing her Iron Woman gauntlets in each hand, with a hard look on her face.

“Both of you behave worse than 5-year-olds, we are supposed to be bonding and yet you squabble over something we don’t even need! I thought you would be better but if that’s how it will be, personally I think it’s better if we all decide on the field what we are doing, no leaders. I think we are all mature enough to make sure that it won’t be a problem.”

“Or maybe you want to become a leader?” Asked Jane, stepping towards Parr, the tension getting heavier in the room.

“Yeah. It seems like you want to be the one to lead us.” Added Aragon, tilting her head at the other woman. “Look at me, I am Catherine Parr and I say what is the best for everyone!” She added in a high pitched voice, trying to imitate Parr.

“I have to agree with you on that one, Spy, but don’t think that it makes us friends,” Seymour grumbled and moved closer towards the centre of the room.

The other agents didn’t know what to do with the newfound tension but fortunately, the other 3 heroes knew that they had to do something before 3 women killed each other.

“I REALLY THINK COFFEE WOULD BE NICE RIGHT ABOUT NOW!” Mused Anne, very loudly, making it seem like she was talking to herself. Parr, Aragon and Seymour stopped looking at each other, Boleyn now being the centre of their attention.

“Uhm, yeah… Right… I have a kitchen right there. I’ll make everyone coffee or tea.” Catherine said and quickly disappeared from the room towards where she said the kitchen was and the tension in the living room quickly disappeared.

Seymour and Aragon sat on the couches as far as possible from each other and the room was silent now, the only noise heard was breathing and some fans working.

“I think I will go help Parr with all of those cups. I also have this difficult coffee order. I don’t drink it any other way.” Anna quickly fled the room, leaving Anne and Katherine looking as if she was an evil witch who had killed their dog and laughed about it at the end of a song. The others didn’t seem to pay her any attention.

“Hello,” She said as she entered the kitchen, seeing Parr standing with 9 cups and 2 pots, probably with either coffee or tea inside them. “Wanted to see if you needed any help, Cathy Parr.”

“Cathy? Really?” Asked the other woman with a small smile on her face.

“Well, I decided everyone needs a nickname. When I say Katherine or Catherine it sounds the same. Or Catherine and Katherine. And then we have Catalina. Honestly, how many women can have similar names? This is like 33% of this group!”

“Don’t forget Anna and Anne. Those two are very similar.”

“I know, right? Stupid green imposter, I’m the superior Anne/Anna.”

“Fortunately for everyone we only have one Jane, Elizabeth, Maria or Margaret. I think that Lee is called Margaret but don’t take my word on that.” Joked Cathy, snorting lightly.

“I am also not sure about that one. I just call her “Mean Agent” in my head. Honestly, all the time I look at her, it looks as if she was getting ready for some kind of war. I mean, I know that we might be having a battle for humanity tomorrow but honestly, smile a little. Jeez, is that a lot to ask?” The woman dressed in red acted dramatically, clenching her hand across her chest as if she was being hurt.

“Do you have any other nicknames? For the others?” Asked Parr, filling one of the pots with hot water and turning her head to look at the other woman.

“I mean, yes. So we have Catalina as Lina. I think that’s actually a word for rope in Polish and to be honest, I would not be surprised if she had a rope hidden somewhere in that uniform of hers. Anne is Anne or Shrek.” At that, Catherine burst out laughing. “HEY! Don’t laugh. Just imagine her saying ‘What are you doing in my swamp?!’” Said Anna in a deep voice, trying to imitate Shrek. "And you will understand where I am getting this from. Jane is Cap or just Jane. Might buy her a cap after all of this is done. Then we will have Cap on Cap. If we buy two and she stands on one of them, we will have a cap sandwich. Little Howard is Kat because she reminds me of a cat but we put K at the start. And by we, I mean me and maybe you in the future. You, Catherine Parr, are of course Cathy. Lee we already talked about, Blount is Bessie and Salinas is Marrrrrrrrria. Remember, the more you roll the r's, the better the effect.”

Catherine Parr chuckled at the last comment, thinking what Salinas would think about it.

“You’ve known us for a few hours and you already came up with those? It’s pretty impressive.”

“It is not impressive. I was just bored.” Replied Anna, smirking. “So what are we having here?” She pointed at the pots, now filled to the brim with hot liquids.

“One of them has coffee, normal black. The other has tea, Earl Grey. I have milk in the mini-fridge in the living room so anyone can add it if needed by themselves.”

“Can I have hot chocolate? I am not a huge fan of coffee.”

“Yeah sure, I’ll make it for you right now. You know, like the good host I am haha.”

"Thanks." The two stood in silence, waiting for the drink to be made in a fancy machine Cathy had. Anna, however, was bored and wanted to start a conversation again. "You know, I am not sure what happened there in the living room. With Seymour and Aragon."

Cathy sighed "I don't know either. I get it that we should have someone to lead us on the field but… but I haven't thought that those two would make an issue out of it. They were just so…. Different, I guess, from what we saw in T.O.W.E.R. HQ."

"Maybe they are hormonal? Or need some sleep? Or coffee?"

"If they need coffee, we better head there quickly before I will have to use my repulsors on them again." Cathy pointed towards her two gauntlets that were now in the form of bracelets around her wrists.

"That's what they’re called? Cool." With that, the two women grabbed everything, Cathy with the two pots of tea and coffee while Anna used her powers to take all the empty cups and her hot chocolate.

"Your powers. They are rather impressive. I never saw anything like that."

"Not you nor C.O.U.R.T.. When I got them, a few years ago, nobody knew what I could do but with time I learned. They come pretty handy when I only have 2 hands and 10 things to hold." Said Anna using her powers to juggle the cups, earning a soft smile from Cathy.

The two women entered the living room again to be met with an uncomfortable silence. All of the women were sitting on their phones but it seemed like Anne and Kat were playing something together and didn’t really notice their two teammates entering.

“Hello! We have drinks.” Announced Anna, making everyone turn their heads towards her.

The two women put everything on the coffee table next to them and everyone made their way towards, eager to drink something warm while Cathy brought milk and sugar for anyone needing them. However, a problem arose when Katherine poured herself coffee.

“You will not be drinking that, young lady.” Said Jane, taking the cup from the teenager's hands. Kat just looks at her with a betrayed look. “You are a kid, you cannot drink that. Drink tea instead. It will be healthier for you.”

“I don’t like tea.” Kat stubbornly replied, not liking what the other woman was doing but knowing better than to fight with a super-soldier.

“She can have my hot chocolate if she wants. I’ll get coffee.” Cut in Anna, before Jane could say anything and wanting to stop any new conflict from happening… again.

“I’m okay with hot chocolate. Thanks.” Mumbled the teenager, sitting on a couch with her new drink, Anna sitting on the opposite end with a nice cup of steaming coffee.

When Jane turned around, pleased with herself, Anna used her powers to swap two cups and winking at Kat, making the young woman smile at her new friend. When they turned around, they could see Anne, Cathy and Bessie covering their smiling faces with their selected mugs as they drank their chosen beverages..

“Um, Miss Parr?” Asked Kat after their quick tea/coffee/hot chocolate break. “Do you have any sewing supplies here? Preferably a needle and some red and blue thread?”

“Why are you asking? Do you need it for something?”

The girl sighed and reached towards her backpack. From there she removed something. It was her Spider-Woman costume.

“It was destroyed in a few places today while I was patrolling. I was meaning to do something about it when I got home but I’m here instead.” The teenager said with a small chuckle and turned to look at Parr.

Cathy looked as if she was hit by a bus.

“This… is your suit?” She asked, pointing towards the fabric.

“Yeah. Made it myself. Bought all the fabric, sewn it together and all that.”

“...”

“Is Parr okay?” Asked Anne when she saw that Cathy.exe stopped working. Anna just shrugged and waited for the situation to continue.

“Am I OKAY?! OF COURSE, I AM NOT! I DON’T CARE WHAT ALL OF YOU THINK BUT I AM NOT LETTING A TEENAGER GO OUT THERE TOMORROW IN A SUIT MADE OF COTTON!” Screamed Cathy.

“It’s actually polyester” Replied Katherine but stopped when Parr looked at her with murder in her eyes.

“Is polyester that good? Wouldn’t she sweat a lot in it?” Whispered Anna to Anne and the other woman just nodded, questioning the life choices of the youngest member of the team.

“Howard, you are going with me now and I do not care what you think about it.” Ordered Catherine, dragging the younger woman with her.

“Please don’t kill me! I’m too young and pretty to die!”

“You won’t be dying kid, we are going to be making you a suit. And be we, I mean you give me a design and what you need, I choose the materials and other stuff while BRIAN will make it happen. Okay?” Asked Cathy as the two of them left the room, leaving the others to themselves. A minute later Cathy came back. “Oh, and if any of you want to rest, straight ahead there are guest rooms. Just pick one. If you need me, ask BRIAN and he will lead you to me.” She said and disappeared again, not staying to hear what the other women had to say.

Anna and Anne laughed at that, Bessie shook her head, Lee and Salinas started talking quietly with each other whilst Aragon quietly sipped her tea. Only Jane looked towards the corridor where Cathy had just left, her blue and grey eyes flashing yellow for a moment before she blinked and the unusual colour disappeared.

throwaway text conversation

I remember I wrote this as part of a drabble for James’s birthday and never finished it. Have it now.

James Potter: so this is james

Lily Evans: I don't know anyone called James.

James Potter: shit sorry wrong number nvm

Lily Evans: Don't tell me you fell for that joke, Potter? It's the most basic one in the book. I wasn't even TRYING! You are so much better than this. Come on.

James Potter: i didn't fall for the joke i was humouring you

Lily Evans: Oh, were you?

James Potter: yeah i saw through the joke immediately because as you said, i am better than this but then i was like evans could use a win today i'll throw her this bone

Lily Evans: I never knew that you were so charitable.

James Potter: oh i'm a paragon of philanthropy, evans a. paragon. sometimes the people are like "stop being so generous, you give too much" and i'm like "i do what i can"

Lily Evans: Wow.

James Potter: impressive i know

Lily Evans: You could fertilise whole farms with that much bullshit. And where's this address I was promised?

James Potter: you still want to come tonight?

Lily Evans: No, I'm registering you to vote as a birthday surprise.

James Potter: how do you know if i vote or not?

Lily Evans: Well, you don't, because you've been eighteen for all of five minutes.

James Potter: i could be fundamentally opposed to all forms of government like ron swanson

Lily Evans: You are not a Ron Swanson. Sirius might be, maybe, but not you.

James Potter: i could be a ron!

Lily Evans: And I COULD be having a normal conversation with literally anyone else, but here we both are on this ship together.

James Potter: brb taking a buzzfeed quiz

Lily Evans: LOL

James Potter: to prove you RONg

Lily Evans: Oh my god.

James Potter: from buzzfeed Everyone Is A Combination Of Two "Parks And Rec" Characters— Here's Yours

Lily Evans: I like that you've gone for a quiz that gives you two characters because you know you're not a Ron and are therefore hedging your bets.

James Potter: um excuse me it was the first one i found

Lily Evans: More bullshit.

James Potter: but i feel in my soul that i can trust the word of staff writer jamie jirak okay first question pick a place to hangout: the snakehole lounge, jj's diner, tom's bistro, jurassic fork, the bulge, the pit obviously jurassic fork because of my long held dream to run with the dinosaurs next question

Lily Evans: To RUN with them? What, like, for election?

James Potter: pick a word that best describes you: ambitious, funny, lazy, anxious, adventurous, literal can't believe there's no incredibly handsome option what do i do?

Lily Evans: Pick funny.

James Potter: why?

Lily Evans: Because you've made me laugh, like, fifteen times since we started texting.

James Potter: but wouldn't you think incredibly handsome is a better fit?

Lily Evans: As it isn't an option, let's make do, shall we?

James Potter: okay fine, if you insist upon admiring my wit next question, pick a pattern i'm going to pick the one that looks like rain

Lily Evans: Why?

James Potter: because one looks like a golf ball and i don't like golf another looks like worms and i don't like worms and the others are all geometric shapes, which are condescending

Lily Evans: ?????????

James Potter: pick a leslie knope quote copypasting "I need you to text me every 30 seconds saying that everything is gonna be okay." "I love you and I like you." "What I hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me." "Punk-ass book jockeys!" "I stand by my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things." "Men's rights is nothing."

Lily Evans: Thank you for sharing the precise details of each and every question with me. I don't know how I would have coped otherwise.

James Potter: i'm going to go for "what i hear when i'm being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me" because this is true. next question, pick the funniest show: key and peele, seinfeld, broad city, brooklyn nine nine, the fresh prince of bel-air, saturday night live brooklyn nine nine obviously

Lily Evans: Brooklyn Nine Nine, obviously. Haha, snap.

James Potter: haha

Lily Evans: Stellar choice. Am riveted, please continue.

James Potter: pick a holiday: christmas, galentine's day, rosh hashanah, halloween, waffle day, ted party day ofc christmas because presents i mean i enjoy the sentiment behind galentine's day but i'm not a gal pick a gift: mosaic portrait, waffle maker, the iron throne, claymore landmine, buddy box, fake blood, vinegar and mud my heart says buddy box but my head says the iron throne because my mum would be dead jealous

Lily Evans: Go for the Iron Throne.

James Potter: done pick a breakfast food: bacon and eggs, waffles, skillet, actually i can't be bothered writing all of these because bacon is the greatest food of all time and the eggs are healthy so they cancel out the unhealthiness of the bacon

Lily Evans: That's really not how it works. Please don't assume that's how that works.

James Potter: pick a mouse rat song: 5000 candles in the wind, sex hair, the pit, november, catch your dream, two birds holding hands

Lily Evans: So we're just blowing past your fundamental misunderstanding of how food is processed by our bodies?

James Potter: i am going to choose sex hair because i too

Lily Evans: You too what?

James Potter: final question i have to pick a photo of joe biden i'm going to pick the one of him looking fed up

Lily Evans: Again, why?

James Potter: all of the others are better so i don't think it gets picked much feel kind of sorry for it (because i am a paragon of whatever it was i said earlier i can't be bothered to scroll up) time to get my result

Lily Evans: And?

James Potter: 16 cavendish avenue

Lily Evans: Who did you get?

James Potter: do you need the postcode

Lily Evans: I know where Cavendish Avenue is, we don't live in a sprawling metropolis. Who did you get?

James Potter: results inconclusive soz

Lily Evans: Who did you get?

James Potter: i'm too much of an enigma to be pigeonholed no buzzfeed quiz can contain me

Lily Evans: Definitely not Ron.

James Potter: i might have got ron

Lily Evans: I'm not coming tonight unless you tell me who you got.

James Potter: i got leslie and andy

Lily Evans: That tracks.

49 Questions You Have Never Been Asked tagmeme

tagged by @resjade, thanku ◕‿◕ I will tag @jarakrisafis and @missveils, but there’s no obligation! cut for length

1. What is the color of your hairbrush?

black?

2. A food you never eat?

anything derived from animals

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold?

on average, compared to other people too cold. that said, I prefer cold weather to warm weather.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

checking the latest in my DA/Bio newsfeeds..

5. What is your favorite candy bar?

do skittles count? it’s candy, but not a bar? I like skittles

6. Have you ever been to a professional sporting event?

yes, quite a few times: soccer games (both for Scotland’s national team and the local team I support)

7. What was the last thing you said out loud?

I literally don’t remember 😅

8. What is your favorite ice cream?

chocolate (plant-based)

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

protein shake (vanilla, plant-based)

10. Do you like your wallet?

don’t have one

11. What was the last thing you ate?

a banana 

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

the last time I bought new clothes was like 1.5 years ago (for my friend’s wedding)

13. The last sporting event you watched?

couldn’t tell you. I prefer seeing them in-person rather than on tv/the net. on a screen it’s too passive for me. what I like is the atmosphere at the event

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

sweet or salted. not big on any of the flavor-flavors like toffee or butter or w/e

15. Who was the last person you sent a text message to?

my bro

16. Ever go camping?

from time to time. camping is fun

17. Do you take vitamins?

yes. B12, iron, a multivit and some other stuff like plant-derived omegas. the average person can eat the way I do without supplementing if they pay attention/plan (or repeat it til it becomes unconscious habit/intuitive) and add stuff like fortified plant milk and fortified nutritional yeast to their diet (altho I would always recc regularly taking B12 at minimum just in case), but I cba tracking or planning and stuff so I just take them cause it’s like, a simple and super low effort way to be safe and have peace of mind

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?

nah. I’m an atheist

19. Do you have a tan?

nope

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

I love both!!

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?

no but I should shouldn’t I

22. What color socks do you usually wear?

black

23. Ever drive above the speed limit?

no

24. What terrifies you?

the future, + icebergs, glaciers and ice caves (lmao)

25. Look to your left what do you see?

cellphone + laptop charger

26. What core do you hate?

tf is a ‘core’

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

“a sound cunt”, an old workplace of mine, fun people, Steve Irwin, folk I used to know

28. What is your favorite soda?

diet coke is my go-to

29. Do you go into a fast food place or just hit the drive through?

usually just go in

30. Who was the last person you talked to?

my best friend. thinkin bout having a socially distanced picnic

31. Favorite cut of beef?

I don’t eat beef

32. Last song you listened to?

This is America - Childish Gambino

33. Last book you read?

TN, re-run again..

34. Favorite day of the week?

Friday, I’m basic

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards?

yes but it would take a while and I’d feel stupid/slow in the attempt lol

36. How do you like your coffee?

black (sometimes with artificial plant sweetener, sometimes without), or with plant milk. if I’m getting it out somewhere I get a plant milk latte with a bit of sugar as a treat (oat milk is best imo for lattes).

37. Favorite pair of shoes?

my doc martens

38. At what time do you usually go to bed?

it’s literally a RNG at this point

39. At what time do you normally get up?

as above

40. What do you prefer - sunrises or sunsets?

sunset

41. How many blankets are on your bed?

zero

42. Describe your kitchen plates?

mostly non-existent

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage?

I’m dry, but I was partial to sweet fruit ciders, ciders like Thistly Cross (a Scottish craft cider), vodka diet coke, red wine and cocktails. (didn’t have a problem or anything, it’s just a personal choice I made for a couple reasons. I quit it at the same time I quit dairy and eggs). I occasionally drink the alcohol-free version of one of the ciders I used to like, cuz the flavor is nice, and nostalgic.

44. Do you play cards?

nah

45. Can you change a tire?

nope

46. What is your favorite province?

I get that this probably refers to Canadian provinces but idk so I’ll localize it and say that of the four nations that make up “the UK” my favorite one is Scotland and yes I’m immensely biased

47. Favorite job you ever had?

probably any of the animal work, or my latest one

48. How did you get your biggest scar?

cancer

49. What did you do today that made someone happy?

sent someone the link to the DA novel deluxe edition illustrations compilation, so they could see them since they were wanting to. I hope it makes them happy :D

1ST RULE: Tag the muses you would like to know better.

idk who to tag so @boatfulofmuses​ (muse of your choice!) and whoever wants to steal this!

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true for your muse.

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7 or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown hair

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces (as a teenager)

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 push-ups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least two people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least three meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone on runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol (only in social occasions)

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship (with Sissel)

I have a crush on a celebrity (Penelope Cruz to be more exact)

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship 

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them 

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for over a year

I have had feelings for a friend (Sissel - the lady, not the cat lol)

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider “best friend”

I live close to my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling?

I live in the United States

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CDs

I share my room with someone (Sissel)

RANDOM SHIT:

I have break-danced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life

I speak at least two languages

Tagged by: @aptlyattorney​ 

Oslo 2010 – Semi-Final 1

Host: Norway Slogan: “Share the Moment” Participants: 39 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - combined) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 4 + host General Overview: The 2010s decade of Eurovision opens in Oslo; which means a return of Nordic humour! The three presenters are Erik Solbakken, Haddy N'jie and Nadia Hasnaoui, who interject some comedic comments throughout the night. They're also professional in their approach. This trio seems likeable so far. In contrast to previous years, there are no opening acts in the semi finals in 2010. The show begins with a brief video montage and the hosts welcoming the audience, but otherwise we jump right into it! One of the intermission segments involves numerous crowds screaming at cameras, which got annoying and went on too long. The main interval act (“Human Sounds”) is odd and quirky, however. It's basically a series of clips showcasing people creating sounds with their bodies. It concludes with an opera singer shattering an audience member's wine glass lol. The 2010 contest sees Andorra, Czechia, Hungary and Montenegro depart, while Austria and San Marino extend their absences. The only returning country is Georgia following last year's suspension. As a consequence, the number of participating countries is reduced to 39; the lowest since 2006. This was partly due to the global financial crisis of the time. Andorra has yet to return (as of 2020), while the rest will reappear sometime this decade. Starting in 2010, the 50/50 system is implemented for the semi-finals, and not just the Grand Final. Subsequently, this year the juries prevented Finland, Lithuania and (ironically) Sweden from qualifying. Bosnia, Israel and Ireland took their places. The are a few notable disparities between the televote and the jury vote in SF1. For example, the jury-heavy songs include Portugal and Bosnia, while the televote-heavy songs include Greece, Iceland and Russia. Belgium also won the overall jury vote by a wide margin. On the flip side, both metrics ranked Latvia in last place. Another important rule change occurred in 2010. For the first time ever, the viewers could vote during the performances, with the phone lines opening at the start of the show. This will be the case in 2011 as well, until the EBU reverts to the standard 15-minute window in 2012. I assume this change was intended to alleviate the disadvantage of the early running order slots. Quality-wise, this is a remarkably weak semi-final. It's filled with bland and bizarre entries. Indeed, my 9th and 10th qualifiers were chosen by default. Interestingly, nothing from SF1 lands in the eventual top 5, and only two of them are in the top 10. Still, this semi has some classics and fan-favourites. ✓ Moldova: SunStroke Project and Olia Tira - Run Away So the first Eurovision performance of the 2010s is... an Internet meme! (it features “Epic Sax Guy”). Considering that meme culture will largely define this decade, it's a perfect introduction. “Run Away” is campiness done right, without being cringe or pretentious. Mostly because the artists deliver the appropriate energy on stage. Moreover, the performance is immediately eye-catching, thanks to the clothing choices, the excessive eye make-up, the spinning dude with a neon violin, and of course the hip-thrusting saxophonist. The visuals also establish a party night aesthetic. As for the song, “Run Away” utilizes a wonky chorus structure that involves abrupt pauses and blast-offs, supported by a jittery violin and a pulsating motorized synth. It's turbulent but catchy. It's also an escape/release of the anxious claustrophobia expressed in the lyrics. The song breathes melodrama and panic. Elsewhere, the sax riff adds another quirky component to the mix, and the dance/club production is very 2010. In conclusion, “Run Away” is what a novelty entry should be. Strangely, it only finished at 22nd, although SunStroke Project will get a top 3 placing later... ✓ Russia: Peter Nalitch and Friends - Lost and Forgotten “Lost and Forgotten” is a satirical parody of depressing and mopey break-up ballads. Accordingly, the arrangement exaggerates its dreary nature, as the narrator feels ignored by his love interest. The mood is completed by falling snow on stage, and by the band wearing winter clothes. But the pivotal joke happens after the “I'm looking at your photo” line. The lead singer literally pulls out a hand-drawn sketch of his ex. He stares at the photo heartbroken, while a band mate tells him to burn it. It's soooo stupid that it's ironically amusing. Otherwise the melody drags too much, the vocal style is unattractive, and the “wooooo”'s are silly, but the chorus is passable. The folk genre makes it sound better.  × Estonia: Malcolm Lincoln - Siren Is this three joke entries in a row? The Baltic countries love to send these eccentric/trolling entries, but most of the time I do not understand the appeal, and “Siren” is no exception. The staging is beyond bizarre. The pianist is so extra, the spinning camera makes me nauseous, and the dorky dance moves aren't endearing. One of the backing singers collapses at the end too. It just seems “try-hard” to me. Furthermore, the song is extremely dull. The piano-lead verses are too minimalist. The pacing does pick up in the chorus, but that chorus goes absolutely nowhere. It perks up, then resorts to a monotonous rut. Which does capture the theme of feeling stuck in life. But it's aurally unsatisfying. × Slovakia: Kristina - Horehronie How is this a DNQ? “Horehronie” is easily Slovakia's best Eurovision entry, although that's not saying much. The wood-clanging percussion beat is both inventive and addictive. The stomping rhythm really drives the song and keeps the energy afloat. And it illustrates the sounds of the Slovakian forests (which cover 40% of the country, apparently). The title “Horehronie” refers to a popular tourist region there. Kristina views this place as her sanctuary, where she finds peace by connecting with nature. The lyrics, the wooden beat, and the plant-based outfits combine to create that nature imagery. I like the green aesthetic. The pan flutes and the chanting lady are nice additions too. That said, the song becomes monotonous before it's over. × Finland: Kuunkuiskaajat - Työlki ellää Another Ethnic-influenced entry that should have qualified. Finland even reached 6th place in the televote, but the juries tanked it. “Työlki ellää” is just so innocent and jubilant. The song is a folk music jamboree with a bouncy melody, and it encompasses the accordion, the fiddle, and well-timed hand claps. There's also a whirlwind of tempo shifts. The decelerations and accelerations are gimmicky, though, and they're my least favourite aspect. Still, “Työlki ellää” is a fun song. The ensemble delivers radiant energy on stage and spry dance moves. The luminous white outfits complement the vibe. And it feels nostalgic in a way. Lyrically, the song analyzes the songwriting process, the origins of inspiration, and how playing music is a livelihood.  × Latvia: Aisha - What For? Latvia's list of existential frustrations finishes in dead last. Likewise, Finland 2005 and Cyprus 2006 also DNQ'ed when they attempted this theme. My theory is that Eurovision is a form of escapism and viewers aren't interested in facing such heavy subject matter. Indeed, “What For?” conveys a weighty, gut-wrenching tone, where Aisha is despondent by the lack of answers to life's deep questions. For example: what is the purpose of death and suffering. But some of the words are too shallow (ie. “Why are the skies so blue and mountains high?”) or too silly (“But [God's] phone today is out of range”). Oh, and Aisha's vocals are unpleasantly tone deaf in the verses. Yikes. On the positive side, the chorus is salvageable thanks to the sloshing production and the escalations of the “what for”s. ✓ Serbia: Milan Stanković - Ovo je Balkan Bop! “Ovo je Balkan” is so catchy and upbeat. The song involves an addictive beat, a perky bounce, and a flurry of horns that sound characteristically Balkan. It also utilizes repetition and stutters cleverly. Namely the “heeeee-e-e-e-ey” bit, the numerous “Ljubica”s, and the “Balkan Balkan Balkan / hop hop hop” section. The latter is also distorted like a radio broadcast. Milan meanwhile supplies flirtatious charm and a bright smile. He has natural charisma. As for the staging, it fulfills the requirements to be visually complete. For example: the circular walled platforms, the “robotic” female dancers, and Milan's uninhibitedly giddy dance moves. Not sure what I think about the outfits though. All in all, “Ovo je Balkan” is an obvious qualifier. Although the song has a high burn rate. ✓ Bosnia & Herzegovina: Vukašin Brajić - Thunder and Lightning (It's getting exciting). So “Thunder and Lighting” projects a relentlessly, overpowering, “epic”-sounding atmosphere thanks to a dramatic guitar line. It replicates the intensity of a thunderstorm as Vukašin encourages reconciliation with his estranged lover. But there's something underwhelming and basic about this song. I expected more. The structure sticks to a generic template, the instrumentation isn't that dynamic, and the lyrics are cliche. The stage utilizes the smoke machine and flashing lights, though. The dark aesthetic of the 2010 contest suits this one. But overall “Thunder and Lightning” isn't qualification-worthy to me. Ultimately it did qualify, but it was Bosnia's worst result since the relegation era. × Poland: Marcin Mroziński - Legenda What... the... actual... f**k... This is disturbing. Poland obviously went for the shock factor with this staging. The atmosphere is bone-chilling too. The backing singers are creepy, between the shrieking, the apple-biting, the haunting harmonies, and the intense facial expressions. And the performance concludes with Marcin “strangling” one of the girls as her shirt gets torn off. To give some context, the song is subverting the common fairy tale tropes, where the princess doesn't want to be “rescued” by the knight. This changes our perspective of the knight's intentions – he is no longer a hero but a predator. While I appreciate the creativity, the visual representation is unsettling. The screaming is annoying. And the song is excessively intense. Still, the chorus employs a “marching through the forest” rhythm that's enjoyable (ie. the “forever ever and ever” bit). ✓ Belgium: Tom Dice - Me and My Guitar “Me and My Guitar” was the huge jury favourite of 2010. It was enough for Belgium to win in SF1, and to be 2 points shy of winning the jury vote at the Grand Final. But the televoters ranked it 14th. The song foreshadows a 2010s trend: the acoustic male ballad. It's the template that Ed Sheeran, Passenger, James Bay, etc. will soon exploit. While this genre is generally not my thing, Tom delivers a heartfelt, honest, and personal performance here. In the song, he describes the lengthy struggle to break into the music industry and feeling pressured to abandon his dream. Appropriately, the only things on stage are Tom and his guitar. The backing track adds some unobtrusive support though. The minimalist approach allows Tom to express fragile vulnerability. He sounds passionate and driven about his goal. And he's a capable live performer. But, the melody is too dull and plain. Although the “maybe I should get a nine to five” hook is alright. Ultimately “Me and My Guitar” broke Belgium's 5-year DNQ streak, and it became their first top 10 since “Sanomi” in 2003. Considering their last three entries were terrible, this is refreshing by comparison. × Malta: Thea Garrett - My Dream Was Chiara not available? This sounds exactly like one of her ballads, minus the compelling vocal climaxes. Oh wait, “My Dream” was written by the same team that wrote Chiara's 1998 entry, no wonder. This is such a bland, indistinct and uninteresting ballad. The only thing of note is when the angel wings appear behind Thea. And even that doesn't excite me. Otherwise, the song tries to be inspirational but it just isn't. The message is written with generic lyrics and the arrangement is ordinary AF. There's just... nothing to care about here. ✓ Albania: Juliana Pasha - It's All About You Well, this sounds noticeably similar to Christina Aguilera's “Keeps Gettin' Better”, but it's a bop nonetheless. The fizzy electro beat channels the “loud” dance-pop hits of the time. There's a fierceness to the buzzing synths, while the jogging rhythm drives the song. Furthermore, the chorus is an adrenaline rush that expresses Juliana's smitten devotion. She even wants to get engaged? (ie. “make a deal and seal it”). The chorus is easily catchy too, thanks to the well-timed echoes from the backing singers. Elsewhere, the flashing purple lights match the energy. The “we've been down...” hook is decent. And the “cool-down” in the bridge sets up the finale. There's also an electric violin solo; which is kind of random. Still, I feel like other entries have more to offer. ✓ Greece: Giorgos Alkaios and Friends - OPA! I understand how some would find this irritating, but I think it's brilliant. “OPA!” is an insanely catchy song that specializes in the call-and-response format. The “hey!” and “opa!” cheers are the obvious hooks. Specifically in how the two sections contrast – the “hey!” lines stop early to allow an instrumental response (which signifies the rising flames mentioned in the lyrics), while the “opa!” lines are more complete. The chorus then concludes on a bounce rhythm. The song's structure is dynamic in other ways too. The vocals intensify midway through the verses as an escalation tactic. There's growls, the four isolated clangs, and the bridge introduces a traditional stringed instrument, followed by a record scratch. Moreover, the instrumentation blends a marching drum rhythm with Greek elements and 2010-era synths that emanate like smoke. There's a lot going on, but it's cohesive. Giorgos also delivers some commanding/intimidating stage presence. Incidentally “OPA!” is the televote winner of SF1, and it extended Greece's top 10 streak. ✓ Portugal: Filipa Azevedo - Há dias assim This is Portugal's last qualification until Salvador. On first impression, “Há dias assim” seemed like a slow and boring ballad that benefited from weak competition, but it placed 4th in the semi-final. That said, the song definitely improves in the second half, when the instrumentation expands beyond the initial piano-ballad structure. The dramatic transitions and the vocal climaxes are the highlights. More specifically, it's the shifts that lead into the later choruses. Filipia also delivers a warm and personable performance. The lyrics, meanwhile, touch on the themes of loneliness and separation. It's not my favourite entry, but it's amongst the 10 best songs of SF1. × F.Y.R. Macedonia: Gjoko Taneski - Jas ja imam silata Yeah, this is the most forgettable entry of SF1. The heavy guitar line and the chorus melody are both agreeable and inoffensive, but “Jas ja imam silata” doesn't leave much of an impression. It's an obvious DNQ. The song channels 1980s rock music though, which is difficult to dislike. There's even an electric guitar solo! In the song, Gjoko basically declares “I'm better off without you”. He serves some attitude as he invalidates the significance of the relationship. He's already moved on. But otherwise, the guest rapper doesn't add much. And the seductive female dancers on stage don't match the theme. I guess that's one way to attract votes. ✓ Belarus: 3+2 feat. Robert Wells - Butterflies “Butterflies” is a strong contender for my least favourite ESC entry of all time. I despise everything about it. Firstly, it's one of the dullest songs in existence. The vocals are so toneless and lethargic – it's excruciating to listen to. Moreover, the melody moves at such a sluggish pace that it's sleep inducing. The song sounds 50-years out of date; completed by a formal stage aesthetic that includes tuxedos, theatre curtains and a grand piano. The main metaphor (“we're like butterflies flying to the sun”) is lame. The song is about opening up and letting love in, but the emotion doesn't take hold. And then the cherry on top: the butterfly wing reveal! Which is one of the cringiest things I've witnessed in this contest. The drums FINALLY enter during this section, but it's too little too late to salvage the song. ✓ Iceland: Hera Björk - Je ne sais quoi The other Icelandic Björk. So “Je ne sais quoi” is this year's fan-favourite flop (there's usually one every year). Despite reaching third in SF1, Iceland floundered at 19th place at the Grand Final. Maybe the staging was too bland, since Hera and the backing singers are mostly stationary throughout the performance. The camera work and the background lights compensate somewhat, though. That said, Germany also had basic staging, so I don't know. As for the song, “Je ne sais quoi” is an encompassing, 2010-style, dance-pop banger. It sounds like a European chart hit from the time, and not too dissimilar from Iceland's 2008 entry, which Hera was actually a backing singer for. The first verse builds up anticipation nicely; whereas the second verse indulges in the motorized synths. The chorus, meanwhile, is an explosion of “brash” euphoric synths that overtakes the arena. It's a killer chorus. Namely in how Hera belts the song title and the ensuing “oh!”s. She's a talented vocalist and a confident performer. But.... I find that Hera's delivery is more a showcase of skill than a showcase of emotion. It makes this entry seem a little “generic”, even if the production and the melodic structure are slick. My Ranking: 01. Greece: Giorgos Alkaios and Friends - OPA! ✓ 02. Moldova: SunStroke Project and Olia Tira - Run Away ✓ 03. Iceland: Hera Björk - Je ne sais quoi ✓ 04. Slovakia: Kristina - Horehronie 05. Serbia: Milan Stanković - Ovo je Balkan ✓ 06. Finland: Kuunkuiskaajat - Työlki ellää 07. Albania: Juliana Pasha - It's All About You ✓ 08. Belgium: Tom Dice - Me and My Guitar ✓ 09. Russia: Peter Nalitch and Friends - Lost and Forgotten ✓ 10. Portugal: Filipa Azevedo - Há dias assim ✓ 11. F.Y.R. Macedonia: Gjoko Taneski - Jas ja imam silata 12. Bosnia & Herzegovina: Vukašin Brajić - Thunder and Lightning ✓ 13. Poland: Marcin Mroziński - Legenda 14. Latvia: Aisha - What For? 15. Malta: Thea Garrett - My Dream 16. Estonia: Malcolm Lincoln - Siren 17. Belarus: 3+2 feat. Robert Wells - Butterflies ✓ What a weak semi-final.