Rotterdam 2020 – Semi-Final 2

Host: Netherlands Slogan: “Open Up” Participants: 41 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host

General Overview:

Well, there's not much to comment on here! As I said, SF2 is the more open semi this year. There's only 6 countries that I perceive as “safe” qualifiers in this one, which leaves 4 spots that are up in the air. The first half of this semi is kinda weak too.

Having said that, I think the 2020 winner is actually in this group - Iceland, Switzerland, or Bulgaria. Or it's Italy in the Big 5. I just don't see the juries giving Lithuania and Russia enough support to take the crown. Maybe Norway would've been a dark horse though.

Greece: Stefania - Superg!rl W!th an exclamat!on po!nt! Dream Team instrumentals usually dominate their songs - those quivering, unstable “B-B-B-BR-BRR” bursts are LOUD and overbearing. But they go hard and sound Greek. They're like a supernatural force overtaking you and your surroundings. After the approaching thunder-drum intro, the first one occurs right away (with castanets?) Then the verse minimizes to bass nudges and dull kicks; heightening midway. There's a slam, and the pre-chorus hums alongside light bucket drips, as Stefania's voice now jumps out. Another slam, and the little metal balls dropping accelerate; then a diversion of skipping broken ticks before the “drop” goes OFF with bass throbs. The drop also fills up with lyrics in the second half. Verse 2 quiets to traditional strings. And the bridge escalates via slicing strikes and an intense hum; leading to a big note, a haunting choir chant, horn roars, and one final drop. That bridge is my fave part. The song builds into the drops nicely, and I like the hazy atmosphere. But the comic book character metaphor is kinda cheesy. The lyrics mention Clark Kent's phone booth, a “super car” and X-ray vision. Stefania says girls don't need that stuff to feel powerful and be themselves. The song is about female empowerment (“There's no wonder it takes a woman” is certainly a pun) and finding your passion and identity in the darkness. Stefania also stands up against the detractors. But the message seems unfocused. She also acts as “your supergirl” to help humanity (which she does in the video). The lyrics also sound like they're about a relationship. The “girl/world”; “power/tower” rhymes are filler too.

My prediction: 80% (#19 odds/ #19 scoreboard app). This seems like a pretty safe qualifier. It stands out in a good way, but it's the kinda song that gets 17th-22nd place in the grand final. LIKELY.

Estonia: Uku Suviste - What Love Is “INEVERIMAGINEDTHEPOWER”... this rapid wordy chorus, where Uku crams too many syllables together, just does not work. I like when the “I neeeever kneeeew” slowdown cuts it off, but it just isn't enough. The song is too bland and dull. It begins with Uku taking a breath, then the first verse is a piano ballad, with this alien spaceship sound upon “beautiful surprises”. It has a night sky vibe. There's a heavy thud and an eerie wind, then the chorus initially holds back, with tickles and patters. Then, after a heartbeat thump, Uku's voice rises and the percussion forcefully stomp-splashes, creating a quiet/loud contrast. The post-chorus then adds strings. Verse 2 is less tense with sharper drums, until the pre-chorus. The second chorus jumps right into it. And the bridge copies the chorus lyrics, while the vocals and production reduce to a steam leak. But nothing about this production is that special. The lyrics are sappy too. Uku remarks on how mysterious and surprising life is. That he never understood his old self. And that his aspirations in life weren't about finding a partner. Then he lists a bunch of examples of how you don't know something until you experience it. He was unaware of the power and necessity of love until now. It's a bit cringe how Uku takes his epiphany SO seriously; like this awakening was SO important. The dramatic production doesn't help with that either. This is the kind of song where I'm just waiting for it to be over. The Eesti Laul staging was boring too.

My prediction: 10% (#38 odds/ #38 scoreboard app). The least likely qualifier of SF2 imo. The song is a forgettable nothing-burger, and it was given the worst running order spot. NO CHANCE.

Austria: Vincent Bueno - Alive Austria are in their jury bait era. “Alive” is just too calculated and soulless for me. It's like the songwriters wanted to show off their polished technical craft, but in doing so, I cannot connect to the song. Vincent's Justin Timberlake tribute leaves me feeling cold too. And the intro is kinda pretentious. It spreads a message of freeing yourself from shackled thrones, and how we're all heroes behind our egos. While the piano is like elevator music, with brief subtle strings and echoes of “screaming”, which puts focus on Vincent's vocal flexing. The way he yells “SHACKLE BOLTS” annoys me. Weirdly, the rest of the lyrics are basic. He repeatedly says this person makes him feel alive again... and that's about it. He doesn't need much to ignite his mood, so prepare for “fire shots”. After that intro shuts down, the murky bass emerges, the computerized claps accelerate, there's a windy whoosh, and the funky bass-line takes over, briefly pulling the brakes on “hey!” The post-chorus adds showering synths as the melody fills out, ending on a crackle. Verse 2 maintains the momentum (and adds door knocks) until a synth blare; then the pre-chorus drops down and builds back up. The bridge emphasizes the bass-line, where Vincent whispers. And the song abruptly returns to the intro at the end, where the monarch is overthrown. The production is filled with quirky sounds. I like the funky bass and the “you make me feel like... oh oh oh” build-ups, but the “alive again x2” hook is annoying. The song has a self-confident vibe though.

My prediction: 50% (#31 odds/ #26 scoreboard app). I could see the juries pushing Austria through... and then they would receive <10 televote points in the grand final. “Amen” was only 11th with the juries, but “Alive” is more dynamic. The upbeat songs have an advantage in SF2 as well. It's very borderline though. BORDERLINE IN.

Moldova: Natalia Gordienko - Prison The studio version is better. Natalia needs a more powerful live vocal, since Dream Team productions are so dominant. She also awkwardly walks around some LED chairs and copies “Bulletproof”. The song opens with a dramatic slam, while a whistling flute alternates sides. Then the verse piano tickles, with a couple snowy echoes. Another slam and the bass hums, ending on a windy gasp. Another slam and the pre-chorus jumps out; intensifying midway after a rattle. Then the dark bubbling synth takes over, with plenty of chain clangs and electrical scatters. This chorus sounds like a large, dark, echoing prison. The whole “I don't want to be with/without you” repetition feels empty though. The chorus heightens upon the “PRISON!” yelp, where the flute returns. There's a breather afterwards. The synths arrive earlier the second time. The bridge is a bunch of screams appearing one at a time. And the production goes crazy at the end. It's a very entrapping atmosphere. The louder parts represent Natalia losing her mind, and the lyrics showcase her indecisiveness in wanting this person. There's a lot of “I don't want to...”s, and repeating lines with extra words. That “IdontwannaFEEL... you” melody also channels “Hijo de la luna”. She doesn't want to fight “inside”. She's trapped by the memories. She wishes for solitary confinement. The relationship feels like a prison. She doesn't want to be needy or desperate. These lyrics lack depth and Natalia's emotion seems unconvincing. The production is epic, but this sound only exists in K*rkorov's head; much like Russia 2014 & 2016.

My prediction: 25% (#33 odds/ #40 scoreboard app). Very poor fan reception, but Moldova are known for staging glow-ups, and Kontopoulos & K*rkorov have only NQ'ed once (Azerbaijan 2018). Still, I just don't see it happening with that NF performance. “Sugar”'s placing surprised me, but that had meme potential. UNLIKELY.

San Marino: Senhit - Freaky! Yeah... Senhit had the biggest upgrade in 2021. “Freaky!” cranks the camp factor up to an 11. I mean, she sells it, and it's a high energy upbeat song. But the chorus is annoying, particularly the “FREAKY! FREAKY! FREAKY!” group chants, with the percussion slaps. The song sounds tacky and cheap. And it's another dated disco instrumental from San Marino. The humming intro is like a pretty sunrise. The tiny guitar pings, “body” echoes, and finger snaps continue this peaceful vibe. I like how the opening verse melody hangs on – it's different from the rest of the song. Then, a helicopter flutters by, and the drums and funky bass take over, with some brake screeches. The chorus adds disco strings and synth vomits. Then the intro verse returns. Then it's the chorus again. And the bridge is a disco instrumental break, leading to a group chant moment, and a power down effect. The backing singers sound like they're at a party. But the second half of the song keeps repeating the same 3 stanzas, as if they ran out of ideas. And Senhit sings the “freaky”s and “And life goes by...” with a mocking tone. In the lyrics, she's smitten. Her whole body feels a sensation from this person's touch. The couple are into PDA's, and people call them “freaky”, and think she's pretending to like it (does “freaky” imply public sex?) But they don't care. They like being freaky! They'll break the rules! Life is too short! The song has a 'free yourself and party' kinda vibe. But the more I listen to it, the more annoying and empty it is.

My prediction: 10% (#37 odds/ #41 scoreboard app). Very poor fan reception. The song is too kitschy and dated, and San Marino struggles to qualify most years anyways. This is a contender for last place in the semi. The staging would have to be incredible to save it. NO CHANCE.

Czech Republic: Benny Cristo - Kemama I love that Czechia chose an Afro-beats song. It's not a genre you often hear in Eurovision. But “Kemama” isn't very catchy, is it? The “I wasn't always like that / I wasn't born like that...” build-up is great (with the sliced-up bangs afterwards), but it builds to nothing. The chorus is flat. It's a 'chill vibes only' kinda song though. It opens with a summery guitar and dull synth drips, as Benny lists the producer tags. Then (a subdued version of) the chorus starts things off, with restless taps, little guitar twiddles, and bead shaker swipes. Things intensify with Benny's raised voice and the claps. Then the pre-chorus synths stop/start to build hype. And the new chorus percussion skips along. The second verse/chorus are elevated by horns. The bridge is a foot-dance drum breakdown, then he shouts the last chorus transition. And a wild outdoor drum commotion finishes things off. There's a lot going on in this instrumental, but it's never too much. The lyrics involve Benny and his mother reversing roles - he's now giving her advice. He reassures her he'll be okay. She needn't worry what others say about him. He's become independent with a big heart. He refutes the idea he's “lost his way” - no, he's sure of himself. He'll prove them wrong. He asserts he worked 24/7 to get here. He was bullied as a child, but was resilient thanks to his mother's advice. And now he just wants to dance and enjoy life – there's no need for fighting and prejudice. I like the message at least. I just wish it stood out more.

My prediction: 35% (#26 odds/ #34 scoreboard app). This sounds like nothing else in the contest, so it could be a shock Q. His Vidbir 2020 performance of “Kemama” was much better than whatever that trainwreck was in Eurovision 2021. But I don't think it's catchy enough to Q. UNLIKELY.

Serbia: Hurricane - Hasta la vista This is fun and catchy but it's kinda monotonous. I love the fierce attitude though. The narrator leaves her cheating partner by throwing that Arnold quote in his face! She takes control and decides when it's over: “1, 2, 3 and it's the end! Your time is up!”; “Take it or leave it!”. She blames him for her insomnia. They don't even talk to each other. He can't handle her 'craziness'. And she says he made the wrong choice. “Oh, well, sorry you didn't like me”! Hurricane expresses 0 regrets or doubts here. He blew his chances and they refuse to compromise - it's not “vanity”, it's self-respect. The song has a 'I'm so much better off now' vibe. The instrumental paints the image of the trio fleeing on motorbikes. Maybe he was cheating with all 3 lol. The intro sounds like a vibrating tailpipe that cuts off. Then the Blackpink horns and claps hype things up, as the song swirls up and down. Then, after some glitchy beeps, the trap-y verses kick, buzz, roar and glitch. The pre-chorus switches to a clappy build-up, ending on a deep vocal distortion. Then the chorus speeds/bounces forward with drum rattles; pulling back for catchy stutter responses. The verses also have responses. The post-chorus is like the pre-verse. Verse #2 completely stops twice for submerged vocal bits. And the bridge is a bigger clappy build-up, but it doesn't build to anything new. In Beovizija, Hurricane have great stage presence. That version adds army boot stomps, while the LED keeps displaying “HURRICANE”, and shows an army of women at the end.

My prediction: 75% (#23 odds/ #20 scoreboard app). This is basically the same song as “Loco Loco” so I expect the same result. It's catchy and they had a solid live performance in 2021. Plus, Serbia sounds like a step-up after the last few songs in the running order. LIKELY.

Poland: Alicja - Empires This sounds like a James Bond theme, and I mean that as a positive. The violin intro paints the image of Alicja standing in the ruins after her city burned down. It sets a mournful mood with the somber piano. There's a light thump, then the orchestral strings flicker on/off and tip-toe. The pre-chorus quickly increases the volume. Then the drums take over the chorus, with idle strings, changing the mood into feeling powerless watching this tragedy unfold; until it falls into a thud on “rise and fall”. Verse 2 adds waddling footsteps. The next chorus has a dramatic jittery start. The bridge quiets to piano and cello. The piano slows to a stop before the final chorus. And Alicja ends on a huge scream. The song is about climate change (as seen in the video), and how the world's empires are close to crumbling down. Every empire in history fell at some point. We're not immune. Alicja remarks that it happens so easily and asks if it's our fault. She feels guilty for staying in an escapist reality. She says we hope for change but we don't do it. And she cries “We just want it all”! There's also several idioms: “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust” (we'll be a part of Earth again someday), “Fool's gold” (our possessions have fake value), “Moths to a flame” (we're addicted to harmful stuff). Maybe it's preachy in saying our lifestyles will lead to destruction, but Alicja sings with genuine concern. I also like her distinct vocal and the song's dire atmosphere. The NF performance looks like karaoke night with the scrolling lyrics.

My prediction: 50% (#20 odds/ #23 scoreboard app). Poland is usually a televote-friendly country, and this is a jury-friendly song, so... win/win? SF2 is more ballad-heavy, but I think her voice makes this one stand out. Although this would probably flop in the grand final. That NF staging needs improvement too. BORDERLINE IN.

Iceland: Daði og Gagnamagnið - Think About Things “Baybay... I. Can't. Wait. To. Know.” No, he's talking to an actual baby (his newborn daughter.) Dadi is curious to know what she's thinking about, since he can't understand her yet. He promises to always be there, so she can tell him anytime! He wonders if she loves him back. And he says they're bonded forever, despite her essentially being a stranger. Dadi acts like babies can comprehend parental relationships. But I read these lyrics as sweet and not weird. Babies are an unknown, so it's natural to wonder who they'll grow up to be. The song itself has a nostalgic sound and a relaxing family time mood. It remains low-key the entire time, but still reaches a climax. Dadi's unusual vocal style and the harmonies are hypnotic too. There's a drowsy intro, with the mircowave-y vapor puffs and minimalist vocals, while this antsy wiggly thing grows. Then the synth 'pow's, the moving bass taps, the stationary foot taps, the backing “ah uh ah uh...”, and a quick drum 'ta-t-ta' get things moving (in that order). The verses move to a funky guitar and snaps. Then, after a double slap, the droopy chorus follows a bass guitar groove, as the snaps return midway. An excited horn break follows this, ending on a rolling drum. The next pre-chorus drops down. Chorus #2 is fuller. And the bridge horns anticipate the climactic final “BAAAABBY”. Those “BABY!” hooks are great. The Söngvakeppnin staging definitely stands out - the green pajamas, the pixelated faces, the strange instruments, the sideways struts, the face turns. This is a quirky entry, but a charming and polished one. And the song's groove/rhythm is very interesting and unique.

My prediction: 99% (#4 odds/ #3 scoreboard app). Probably the SF2/grand final televote winner as well. The juries had Iceland pretty high in 2021, so yeah, I think this would've been the Eurovision 2020 winner. LOCKED.

Switzerland: Gjon's Tears - Répondez-moi I initially found this boring. But it captures a feeling of existential dread really well. It's a relatable message in today's world. In the lyrics, Gjon asks life's unanswerable questions. He starts small with why does rain exist? But soon turns serious with why does death exist? He also mentions being separated from his family, and feeling like a stranger in his new and old homes (his parents are from Albania and Kosovo). He later asks why do we keep running? Why do we pray differently? And why future generations are screwed. In the chorus, Gjon is tired of guessing and begs for answers – and no BS ones. But there's no resolution; we're all stuck guessing forever. The verses repeat every question, showing how unrelenting they are. He doesn't beat around the bush either. The song moves very slowly and it has a very serious tone. But Gjon's vulnerability makes it work. He projects sadness really well. And it's a very personal song. The intro is this vibrating hum that lingers for a bit, like white noise. The first verse continues this uneasy silence, only adding tiny guitar pings, and a piano midway. While the chorus inserts strings, “ah uh AHHH...” hooks, and ends on a falsetto scream. The percussion waits until verse 2 to arrive, where the echoing snaps and stomps convey painful frustration. Chorus #2 adds a bleak soldier-marching snare and echoing strikes. And the bridge falls into silence before Gjon screams over the last chorus – I love this climax. His vocals are great too. I can really feel the emotion in this.

My prediction: 99% (#3 odds/ #2 scoreboard app). And this is probably the SF2/grand final jury winner. I mean, Gjon did just that in 2021. Plus, if he can communicate the message through the staging, this will have televote appeal. But will we get two sadboy ballad Eurovision winners in a row? LOCKED.

Denmark: Ben and Tan - Yes This is so aggressively catchy. Depending on my mood, “Yes” is either a banger or it's annoying AF. The chorus is a super potent singalong that's impossible to ignore - every single word of it pops out. It's also excessively upbeat. So, Denmark takes us back to the mid-2010s folk-pop trend. The song starts with acoustic guitar slaps and a stomp-along beat, while Ben & Tan trade leads. The verse winds down upon “give life one more chance”. Then, after a “HEY!” shout, the chorus heightens and occupies the entire surroundings. This part conveys how overwhelmingly strong their feelings are. There's fluttering claps, more stomps, emphatic “SAY YES! SAY YES! SAY YES!” releasing shouts that echo across the arena, and an “ooooh” post-chorus that sounds like bagpipes. Verse 2 introduces the violent strikes (that hit the ground full force from excitement), which reappear later on. The bridge reduces to minimal guitar, before one last “ooooh” creates an epic build into the final chorus - I like that pause when it hits. And the song ends on a softer moment. The lyrics are straightforward. It's about them giving love (or life?) another chance despite what they're dealing with. Tan felt bitter, sad, and lonely because she would've died for her ex. While Ben was controlled by fear and didn't think he could be happy while sober. But everything's changed now they've found each other! The archery lyric goes with the folk song imagery too. In the audience-less DMGP final, the LED flashes “YES”, while Ben & Tan have strategic stage positioning.

My prediction: 85% (#15 odds/ #17 scoreboard app). This is WAAAY too catchy and polished to not make it, and their DMGP performance was pretty solid. Juries love catchy radio pop as well. I predict top 15 in the final. LOCKED.

Albania: Arilena Ara - Fall from the Sky I don't mind if Albania keeps sending female ballads. Arilena's powerful voice really elevates this one, even if the cliché wings metaphor weakens the chorus a bit. She makes that chorus impactful regardless, with the “SKY-Y-Y-Y-UH-Y” cries and “HOLD BACK... MY WINGS...” pauses. She sings with SO much conviction, like she's fighting for her life. I can hear her suffering. And she sounds like Katy Perry lol. Her voice also dominates over the instrumental. Which makes sense, since Arilena is regaining her autonomy from an abusive partner. She hides all the pain they caused, in order to deny them the satisfaction that the absue “worked”. They made her doubt her faith. They lied. They controlled her. But she's resilient! I love when Arilena switches to anger in the bridge - it shows she's no longer afraid. The Albanian version is much darker, where murder seems like the only escape. But the revamped instrumental is more dramatic and... harsh I guess? There's a sharp, ice cold piano intro that slows down. Then, after a rumble, the piano dejectedly softens, before picking itself up. There's a cymbal crash, the chorus strings weep, and the drums and metallic echoes summon strength within. Verse 2 adds a woodblock, and skip-splashes at the end. The bridge breaks free. Then the tension builds with strings and drum bangs, until it breaks upon “FLYYYYY”. The icy piano returns, there's a loud strike, the drums/strings resume, and she literally “screams inside” in a big note. That last chorus transition is so good. Finally, the song crashes down and the outro goes a cappella.

My prediction: 60% (#28 odds/ #18 scoreboard app). This probably would've placed... 17th in the grand final. Albania's female ballads are usually borderline qualifiers, but Arilena's vocals and the big dramatic chorus should be enough. BORDERLINE IN.

Finland: Aksel - Looking Back Last year, Finland said “Look Away”, this year they're “Looking Back”! This one is a personal, heartfelt ballad, where Aksel provides a comforting, sentimental vocal. The lyrics are relatable too. It's about the uneasiness of growing up, and how we don't appreciate our youth until it's over... and then we're nostalgic for it. We're too fixated on achieving a dream job (the “high life”) or on current woes (the “low lights”). Aksel also reminisces over his youth – sharing dreams with friends; the impatience to turn 18; being naive, clueless and confused about stuff; going to parties; acting carelessly. These memories give him comfort. Indeed, the song has a 'don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened' kinda vibe. There's a chilly wind intro, then the first verse is a calm piano ballad, as the autumn winds reappear. A shimmer starts the chorus, where the “HIIIIGH LIFE”/ “LOOOW LIGHTS” shouts hang off a cliff, and the following line relaxes. It isn't the catchiest chorus ever, but it's fine. Verse 2 introduces the dense, stuttering kicks (like a dribbling basketball); which turn splashy in the next pre-chorus. Chorus 2 is fuller and maintains the kicks. But there's no bridge, and that chorus is repeated for a full minute, where nothing changes. I wish there was more *to* this song. The outro reduces to little guitar echoes. Aksel's UMK performance seems heartfelt. The LED shows moving dashes, red lights (to match that lyric), and chalk drawings of kids hanging out and dating.

My prediction: 45% (#27 odds/ #33 scoreboard app). This could be a shock qualifier because of the the juries, but I'm not convinced the televote would go for this. There's so many ballads in the second half, and I don't see this surpassing Poland or Albania. BORDERLINE OUT.

Armenia: Athena Manoukian - Chains on You Eurovision mostly avoids trap music, so this is refreshing. Athena's confident attitude, her flow (“I start it, I make it...”), her “yuh yuh yuh”s, the slurred auto-tuned “diamonds on you”, the “chains on chains on you” mumbles, and the background “woo”s and breathing are what trap needs. She can't sound stiff. Plus the production constantly adds or removes layers at the right moments. It's never overdone or messy. The most prominent layer is the steel drum loop. It starts in the intro and moves ominously in single steps. There's a creepy finger-fidget descent, then the scraping trap beat arrives, with broken metal rattles added in next. The pre-chorus bass bubbles, with a gunshot midway, then the rattles return. The next part switches to claps, bass pulls, and alarm roars. The music stops on the unclear words, then the chorus resumes the first beat. The 2nd verse adds a rapid 'eh-eh-eh' thing. Then the beat minimizes to introduce the frosty warnings. The next clappy part removes the bass midway. The bridge is a bunch of dramatic bangs and muffled “hurt me”s. And the outro electrifies. It's a dark and dangerous, bass-heavy instrumental. It paints the image of meeting up in a sketchy place at night. In the song, Athena knows her admirer has naughty intentions. But she's in control and sets the terms – he must accept she's independent and ambitious. She doesn't care if he leaves. The diamonds are a metaphor for self-worth, since they only shine on her. He assumes she's not interested, but Athena turns seductive in the clappy parts, using “boy” lures and “hurt me!”s. She'll put him in chains too! How kinky. She shows 0 nerves sitting next to him either. The national final had poor sound quality, but there's male dancers and a throne.

My prediction: 60% (#22 odds/ #15 scoreboard app). I think this would've been the “Hvala, ne!” of 2020. It would benefit from the second half having so many ballads, and it sounds modern. It's a polarizing genre, but that might actually help it stand out. It probably wouldn't do much in the grand final though. BORDERLINE IN.

Portugal: Elisa - Medo de sentir This might be the most forgettable entry of 2020. The rising “eeeEEEE” hooks stand out, but the melody is weak and it's a generic FDC ballad. The song is just boring to me. Elisa's delivery seems heartfelt though. She's afraid to love again because of previous failed relationships. She rejects anyone who invites her in. Their gestures make her nervous. Their “I love you”s sound fake, and she doesn't believe they'll stay. Her loneliness won't stop. But she wasn't always putting her guard up. In the bridge, she ultimately asks if they'll wait for her, meaning she hasn't given up. I get the sense she wants to change. The song opens with a “da-DA-da-DA-dun” piano sequence, and it remains a depressed piano ballad for the first verse, while Elisa gives a gentle and vulnerable vocal. The verse ends with a “tah-ha ha-ha” and an “mm-hmm”. Then the chorus introduces the foot thuds, as the piano becomes louder. The instrumental stops midway, then a subtle woodblock appears. Verse #2 adds the strings. Chorus #2 adds the triple drum bangs. Then the pace finally picks up in the bridge, where the drums roam free. This leads to a big note climax, as the piano/drum bangs escalate - it's the moment when Elisa has had enough. The song goes silent afterwards, until the slices appear. And the last chorus has thunderous drums. But this instrumental isn't the most interesting. And the song isn't noticeable enough. Elisa gives an emotional performance in FDC. She sings to the pianist at one point.

My prediction: 20% (#36 odds/ #32 scoreboard app). I think this is too forgettable to qualify, and the other ballads in SF2 have more going for them. UNLIKELY.

Georgia: Tornike Kipiani - Take Me as I Am This just isn't my thing. Tornike's screaming is grating (especially the long notes and the “ME” and “GERMAN” growls). The song is excruciatingly slow. The instrumental feels like I'm drowning in quicksand. And the lyrics call out anti-Georgian xenophobia by... listing stereotypes of other countries. So basically, Tornike is whining about Europe not loving Georgia's Eurovision entries. He's discouraged from being himself, and expected to assimilate to western culture. But he'd rather be authentic, and loved for that. The lyrics only mention the Big 5 countries, so I guess he's mad they get a free pass, while Georgia NQs. In the chorus, the female backing says “I love you” in those 5 languages to give him validation. I get Tornike's point, but it comes across like he's guilt-tripping us into sympathizing with him. As for the production, the intro guitar is like static electricity scattering. Then the verse starts restrained, with deep guitar, deep vocals, and buzzing bass; like we're deep underground. But once the song shifts, his voice changes, and the intense background is overwhelming AF - it's like standing next to a vacuum cleaner. It's just a stationary wall of noise. The percussion kicks, echoes and bone-cracks also move slowly. The chorus doesn't offer any variation, and the long “youuuu”s and “aaaaam”s drag on. Verse 2 thankfully pauses the vacuum, if only briefly, for some subtler sounds. Chorus 2 adds the orchestra. And the song ends with a horn and a cymbal.

My prediction: 45% (#14 odds/ #27 scoreboard app). This is the hardest one to predict. People will either love it or hate it. But Georgia's other left-field entries didn't qualify (like 2012, 2014, 2019, and 2022) and I think the juries would tank this too. BORDERLINE OUT.

Bulgaria: Victoria - Tears Getting Sober Billie Eilish's influence didn't take long to reach Eurovision. Victoria uses a similar minimalist vocal style, and the backing “mHmHm”s mimic Billie's vocal layering. But this combination creates a cool texture regardless. “TGS” opens with those ghostly hums alternating sides; followed by an icy 'ding... ding... ↓wind down↓'. Then Victoria's voice and the bare piano are very intimate and personal. The humming returns for the chorus, with some “i-uh-i-uh-i” hooks, but it's still pretty bare. Verse 2 adds a tiny harp(?) that ticks like a clock. The new pre-chorus has a backing wail. The next chorus adds the strings, pausing for an “mHmHm” midway. And the bridge recoils into this quivering thing. But then... the strings grow (thru the “GROOOW” climax) and fall down, the horns rise back up, and that final chorus gives me the chills. Victoria's voice and the orchestra breathtakingly soar, with a midway rise-up. The song quiets upon “scar”; ending with a clarinet(?) and one last hum. “TGS” is a modernized version of the grand, sophisticated ballads of the past. It does a good job of holding back patiently until the climax. In the lyrics, Victoria sarcastically says “great!” - her mental health is affecting her 10 times a day. She knows she has to let go of the pain and the burden. She'll move on in time, but the scar leaves a mark. There's a couple of unusual phrases, like “sugar in my wounds” instead of salt, implying they're sweet lies. Plus the song title – I guess “sober” means “dry”. And the dirt metaphor comparing her to a plant. Later in the song, Victoria is amazed by her growth. It's her first time trying too! And the grandiose finale symbolizes her transformation.

My prediction: 99% (#1 odds/ #4 scoreboard app). It's one of the 6 winner contenders of 2020, and this would do really well with juries. The Billie Eilish vibes might appeal to the televoters too, since that makes it modern. She could just sit on a bench like the music video, and I think it would work. LOCKED.

Latvia: Samanta Tīna - Still Breathing WTF is this drop? It sounds like an elephant struggling to sneeze; with glass shatters thrown in. It's so rigid and it keeps getting blocked off in an unsatisfying way. Which is a shame, because I like the rest of the song. It has a good message - as long as you're still alive, it's not too late to grow or change. The recurring, circling, distant chants of “I will keep on going / I will keep on running...” are a mantra to motive yourself, believe in yourself, and control your destiny. The chants sound resolute and ominous; like they're coming from a poorly lit, abandoned gym. The song opens and closes with them. The intro also leaks steam midway, followed by irregular clock ticks. Then the kick-clap trap beat takes over, while ejecting several blares. The verses swing in midair, and the trap beat remains in the later chants. There's another leak, then the popping squeaks and the backing responses anticipate the drop. Verse 2 reduces to those squeaks before the beat returns. Samanta raps over the second drop. There's a breather before building to the third. And the song ends on a 'DO-DO-DO-DO'. So, Samanta felt like giving up and staying in bed. Her life was going nowhere. But she's not looking back anymore. Now she pushes herself to improve everyday. The build-up into the drop signals her growing strength. And the rap section mentions her ambition and self-love. There's also that “Life is music/I am a composer” lyric lol. In Supernova, the 3 backing singers wore face shields and used spray bottles... it was 2020 after all. The flashing lights are overwhelming though.

My prediction: 40% (#35 odds/ #21 scoreboard app). I think this is just too experimental for Eurovision. That “drop” might instantly turn some people off, particularly the juries. Also, “The Moon Is Rising” was last place in the semi, and Latvia has one of the worst qualification records. And I can't see BOTH Armenia and Latvia qualifying. But... it does stand out, so BORDERLINE OUT.

Predictions recap... Locked: Iceland, Switzerland, Bulgaria, Denmark Likely: Greece, Serbia Borderline in: Armenia, Albania, Austria, Poland Borderline out: Georgia, Finland, Latvia Unlikely: Czechia, Moldova, Portugal No chance: Estonia, San Marino

SF2 Winner: Iceland Jury winner: Switzerland or Bulgaria Televote winner: Iceland Last place: San Marino

My Ranking:

01. Iceland: Daði og Gagnamagnið - Think About Things 02. Bulgaria: Victoria - Tears Getting Sober 03. Armenia: Athena Manoukian - Chains on You 04. Switzerland: Gjon's Tears - Répondez-moi 05. Poland: Alicja - Empires 06. Albania: Arilena Ara - Fall from the Sky 07. Serbia: Hurricane - Hasta la vista 08. Latvia: Samanta Tīna - Still Breathing 09. Finland: Aksel - Looking Back 10. Denmark: Ben and Tan - Yes

11. Czech Republic: Benny Cristo - Kemama 12. Moldova: Natalia Gordienko - Prison 13. Greece: Stefania - Superg!rl 14. Portugal: Elisa - Medo de sentir 15. San Marino: Senhit - Freaky! 16. Austria: Vincent Bueno - Alive 17. Estonia: Uku Suviste - What Love Is 18. Georgia: Tornike Kipiani - Take Me as I Am

Rotterdam 2020 – Semi-Final 1

Host: Netherlands Slogan: “Open Up” Participants: 41 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host

General Overview:

As we all know, the 2020 contest was canceled because of the pandemic. The timing was very unfortunate - the world turned upside down in mid-March, which is right when the national final season wraps up. The WHO declared the pandemic on March 11, the last song (Russia) was released on March 12, and the cancellation was announced on March 18. It wasn't the news I wanted to hear – I get so excited for Eurovision every year – but obviously everyone's health and safety is more important. I was hoping for a postponement, but it would've been a logistical nightmare, and no one knew how long the restrictions would last. Or even a virtual event, but it would've been unfair to compare performances on different stages with different production values. I doubt the EBU wanted to disappoint the artists, fans, delegations, and everyone else involved; or lose money over this. So canceling was a last resort. Thankfully, they did everything they could to bring the contest back in 2021!

However, this means I have to review the 2020 entries differently. There is no staging to factor in, although the national final performances will inevitably sway me (and I will comment on those). I know it's unfair to compare them because the production values and stages vary by country, and then the internal selections are a mystery (especially if the artist didn't return for 2021). But I'll try to prioritize the studio versions (post-revamp). My 2020 ranking will essentially be a pre-contest ranking; except there's no live shows to shift everything around later on. I will also give my qualification predictions.

Semi-Final 1 is pretty easy to predict though – I'd say there's 8 locked qualifiers, and Romania is also pretty likely. And the last spot either goes to Belgium or Australia. Semi-Final 2 will be much more open.

The number of participants stays at 41, with Bulgaria and Ukraine returning after their one-year absences, while Hungary and Montenegro are out.

Sweden: The Mamas - Move John Lundvik's backing singers are now the headliners! But, just like with “Too Late for Love”, all the personality and emotion comes from the performers, and not the robotic, sterile Swedish composition. The Mamas' harmonies are stellar (“oh-OH-oh-OH LIFE”; “DAMN RIGHT!”; “WE'RE MOVING MOUNTAINS!”) And their uplifting, supportive voices express unconditional love. They turn “Move” into a giant group hug. There's 0 negativity here. The song opens with distorted “uh-ah-ooh”s, a calm piano, and a slam. The piano continues with some squeals; then the bass and snaps come in. The pre-chorus skips around (“evEN whEN the RAIN is FALLing”). Then the chorus slam-stops, pulling back into a hum for a moment, before escalating with claps/pounds. There's another pause, then the bangs run wild, with a bunch of “uh ah ooh”s on repeat. The 2nd chorus claps start earlier. The bridge is almost a cappella – with just claps until the organ appears, leading to a “whoa-oh-ah-oh” vocal climax. And the song ends on a closing slam. The hooks and the shout-out loud chorus are effective. The lyrics promise support and assurance when things turn bad. Why? Because their partner does the same. It's alright if we try and fail; we wipe the tears and become stronger. The chorus uses hyperbolic cliches to show devotion (like moving mountains!) The Melfest staging was simple. It mostly used spotlights. I liked when they leaned during “Damn right!” though. And they brought positive energy and great chemistry.

My fave Melfest 2020 entry was, of course, Dotter's “Bulletproof”, which lost by 1 point! I also loved “Kingdom Come”, “Brave”, and “Ballerina” (robbed). “Boys with Emotions” had a nice message too. The rest of the final was kinda underwhelming though. I also completely forgot about “Carpool Karaoke”. 💀

My prediction: 99% (#12 odds/ #12 scoreboard app). Possibly the SF1 jury winner as well. And considering Sweden's track record from 2011+, this is LOCKED.

Belarus: VAL - Da vidna #StandWithUkraine

Belarus's last entry that wasn't rejected. “Da vidna” sounded weak in the YouTube recaps – the production is too toned-down, especially the “drop”. But it creates a peaceful mood that's kinda mournful and kinda hopeful. The production is very late-2010s electronic. The distorted squeals in the intro are like painful harsh cries. The song also starts with a peaceful piano. The first verse adds soft taps and more distortions, then the snaps and bubbly synths come in. The latter are more apparent at the end of the verse. I also like the rising 'daaaa d-DA-DA' verse melody. The chorus submerges at first with stiff blunt synths and rattling ticks, then the vocals amplify midway, as the beat accelerates into the “drop”, which is this squealing siren. The build-up works for me. Verse 2 keeps the rattling ticks, and the vocals become more intense. And the bridge submerges similarly. In the lyrics, Valeria questions why her mother forced her into a relationship she didn't choose. There's season metaphors – braiding and un-braiding autumn; paths obscured by winter snow. The night is full of secrets and passion. But the song focuses on the dawn, when she'll be free. Hence the peaceful vibe. She also reflects on growing up too fast (a white rose blooming early). The NF performance is fine, but could be more polished. There's twirling hands, hip thrusts, 'okay' hand signs on the eyes, a chain armour thing on Valeria's head, and she gets physically close to the other two members.

My prediction: 25% (#40 odds/ #31 scoreboard app). In such a strong semi-final, this would've been forgotten about. Especially being 2nd in the running order. UNLIKELY.

Australia: Montaigne - Don't Break Me Not even a NF can stop DNA Songs! “Don't Break Me” is an annoying and overproduced song, but at least the lyrics describe a toxic relationship accurately and insightfully. Montaigne's fading romantic feelings are replaced with fear. They feel taken for granted. They've given so much and stretched themselves thin. But, upon the beat switch, they can't take it anymore! They plead “don't break me down”!; because they're made of glass, not elastic! (kind of a silly metaphor). But it seems to fall on deaf ears. Montaigne's partner brings up their own trauma instead hearing them out. Montaigne also says love should be a compromise and equal effort. Only one of them is employed. But Montaigne loves them too much to give up. This song is venting out despair. The first verse moves in anxious cloudy patters and constant guitar pokes, with a few tunnel voices. Then the pre-chorus slams down in this angry, growling, grumbling way that catches me off-guard. But the chorus itself is a let down – it's a boring modern trap-y heavy drum beat, which pauses and sinks back down a couple times. The chorus vocal/melody is really annoying too, and they sing the verses weirdly. Verse #2 starts with a synth warning, before turning trap-y as well. While the bridge is an extended pre-chorus. I don't care for the NF performance either. The camera work and the choreo make me dizzy and Montaigne is dressed like a clown, with a ruffled collar, blue wig, and blush. I guess they're the clown in the relationship. They walk like a marionette at one point. And swing their limbs while being lifted up.

My prediction: 45% (#16 odds/ #14 scoreboard app). They would need to improve the staging and the vocals. It's between Australia and Belgium for the last qualifier spot, and my gut says it's Belgium. BORDERLINE OUT.

North Macedonia: Vasil - You NM's delegation must've been like: “Yay we finally made top 10! Now we don't gotta try anymore!” Because this is the most obvious NQ. “You” is a bland song that doesn't have much going for it. The melody and the instrumental don't grab me enough. There's a long tunnel voice intro (like a distant indecipherable echo), then the bubbling synth boops take over, with a tingly instrument at one point. The pre-chorus brings in the accordion, claps, and a guitar flick sequence. Then the song stops, and the forgettable “drop” hits – which is this grinding motorized bass, with a glossy beat. It also pauses and heightens midway. The “DANCE... WITH YOU” hesitations are a meh hook though. Verse #2 adds a beat to the boops. Chorus #2 starts with a double clap. The bridge returns to the tunnel voice, mixed with helicopter flutters, leading to a long “TOOOOOOOOOOONIGHT” and thundery drums. But the sped-up outro is the only part that gets interesting. The song is too innocuous overall. Its energy is very mild. The lyrics don't have anything interesting to say either. Vasil holds trembling hands with this person. Their eyes are magnetic. He invites them to dance in the moment, because they may never see each other again. They kiss. He wants more. Maybe the staging would involve Vasil dancing with someone. I doubt it would be enough to save it though.

My prediction: 10% (#29 odds/ #37 scoreboard app). Too bland and forgettable. It's also my prediction for last place. NO CHANCE.

Slovenia: Ana Soklič - Voda “Voda” has an epic Balkan Ballad chorus, but I'm left wanting more from the song. The water drip sounds are tacky too, and they detract from the wintry atmosphere. The intro is cinematic, with an icy sharp piano and tense strings that swell up. The verse starts bare, with a slow piano and low frosty pings. Then the strings reemerge and grow. The chorus, by contrast, is explosive and extensive: Ana screams “VOOOOOOOOODAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” alongside trap-y broken metal ticks, more strings, and a drum bang bit. Verse #2 adds subtle taps and wooden echoes. And I love when she loses restrain in the bridge. The chorus melody works for me; the big vocals and strings elevate it. But this is a slow-moving song and the climax (the bridge) happens too late. The lyrics, meanwhile, revolve around a water metaphor. Ana pushes the subject to move on to new times and places; to not stop on the long journey; to go beyond light and belief. She remarks that the longest path is turning words into action. And that there's a broken chair waiting for a child (huh?) In the chorus, she affirms that the gushing water won't affect them – she'll stick with them through the storm. The water is the root of her endless unease. I don't really understand the verses though. There isn't much to say about the EMA performance, but there must've been a revamp. The first verse is longer, the production is slightly different, and the song just... ends before the bridge. I like the studio version better.

My prediction: 15% (#41 odds/ #39 scoreboard app). Very poor fan reception. Maybe the juries praise her vocals, but I doubt the televote would compensate enough. NO CHANCE.

Lithuania: The Roop - On Fire I don't think this would've won, but it could've been Lithuania's first top 5. It's a very catchy song and the production has a cool vibe. The music starts with spread-out piano slams, followed by finger snaps, leading to a shimmer-stop on “ooh-ooh-ooh”. Then the Milky Chance “Stolen Dance”-like beat takes over – with wobbly bass burps, guitar pokes, and scissor slices. The song's rhythm chugs and bobs up-and-down from here-on-out. The music reduces to just bass burps before the “drop”, then the “drop” adds this addictive squealing siren to the mix (like a firetruck?) Verse #2 pulls back to just guitar and ticks; before the beat returns for the “la la la la”s, heightening midway. And the bridge cuts back to the bass again. It's a very murky atmosphere; like a room filled with smoke, but not in a dangerous way. I love the song's smooth vibe and propulsive rhythm. The “la la la la”s and “THE HEAT IS GETTING HIGHER” hooks are great too. That chorus sounds like rising heat. In the lyrics, Vaidotas defies being told he's too old for personal growth. He's not a stone, he's free to change and move. He knows he's strong enough to achieve this. It took him a while to take action but no one can stop him now. The fire represents his desire and passion. The PiN staging is definitely memorable, with the magnifying glasses, mirrored split-screens, wild arm swings, and fingers behind his head. The choreo is very wacky and he has quirky stage presence. But it isn't cringe. He's just having fun with it.

My prediction: 99% (#2 odds/ #1 scoreboard app). Possibly the SF1 televote winner too. Also one of the 6 winner contenders of 2020, so it's LOCKED.

Ireland: Lesley Roy - Story of My Life This song kinda sounds like Kelly Clarkson's “Stronger”. The dance-pop production takes me back to 2011. Does that make it dated or nostalgic? Either way, the highly energetic, shout-out-loud chorus is a bop. I dislike the “NA NA NA NA NA HEY HEY HEY” schoolyard taunt though. Lesley is taunting the people who thought she wouldn't make it. No one believed in her, but she pulled it off by herself. The “I'm not a puppet on a string” line refutes the 1967 winner. She was known for breaking rules. She was expected to live a normal life. She took their advice to be blunt, then was criticized for it. But she doesn't care what they say because they don't matter. The chorus asserts that it's her life. And the song ends with “I don't care what you say”. The message is about being yourself to reach your dreams. The music starts with incessant, rapid, impatient nudges that keep powering down. The persistent kicks are added in next. Then the buzzy synths and the clappy beat heighten the pre-chorus. While the chorus bulldozes through as the bass-line roars and radiates. That chorus flows like a dam bursting open. It's a giant release of energy. I love when that bass-line hits too. Verse #2 is also buzzy. The second chorus is doubled, and the energy continues through the bridge, letting things run freely. Then the bridge submerges, leading to a clapping breakdown with background voices, before resuming the energy. The song's vibe is like celebrating her life.

My prediction: 35% (#21 odds/ #28 scoreboard app). Ireland's 2014+ track record isn't great, and I just don't see the public prioritizing their votes for this. The staging would need to match the song's energy, and not be as complicated as the “Maps” staging. UNLIKELY.

Russia: Little Big - Uno #StandWithUkraine

I first knew about Little Big when my friend showed me the “Skibidi” video. “Uno” isn't as weird as that, but their style of humour fits Eurovision perfectly for a joke entry. There's some nonsense lyrics, like the “dummy dummy” / “yummy yummy” rhymes and the Spanish counting that skips 3 for some reason. And Ilya seduces Sonya in this creepy voice. He's waiting for her to be ready for “some action” (sex). She needs another drink first (“margarita” and “señorita” adds even more Spanish!) But she's down for it after midnight, calling him charming and funny. He also says “come to daddy”... So, the intro is a watery soap opera organ. Then the piano start/stops in a 'DUN... da-DA da-DA-da... DUN' pattern (with bass added to the middle part), alongside raindrop hand drums and twisting sounds. The pauses steer the verses, then the pre-chorus beat gets things moving. There's a desk bell, and the chorus squeaks along, with a squealing rave synth break afterwards. And a tongue pop in the middle. Verse #2 throws in some “Hah!” pauses. And the bridge vocal sounds like a radio speaker. This is a catchy song – with the “uno-uno-uno” repetitions, and the way Sonya comes in for the pre-chorus and last chorus line. But the production is kinda ugly, the chorus is basic, and the vocals aren't meant to be pleasant. The music video is exactly what I imagined the staging to look like: a memorable dance sequence (the leg crossings), weirdly intimidating facial expressions, and a random dude dancing in workout gear.

My prediction: 99% (#5 odds/ #6 scoreboard app). Possibly the SF1 televote winner too. It's the most viewed video on the Eurovision YouTube channel. It's one of the 6 winner contenders of 2020. And Russia is always a televote magnet. LOCKED.

Belgium: Hooverphonic - Release Me Belgium selects a band that's been charting there for 20+ years. And that experience shows in the professionally crafted instrumental. It starts with a repeating, pounding, agonized piano note, like a migraine. Then the drums and psychedelic guitar splashes get things moving, with some metal clicks. Then the orchestral strings raise the chorus in a expansive, cinematic way. The strings later continue through the bridge. And the song ends once the string tension snaps off. It's a nice song, but a slow-moving one, and Luka's vocal is too sleep-inducing. She lacks enough emotional punch for me. She almost sounds bored? And it becomes a dreary ballad. In the lyrics, Luka keeps asking her lover over and over again to release her, because they won't do it. The song even opens with the words “Release Me”. She doesn't want to talk it out. She already knows what they'll say (probably that they still love her), and it won't fix things. The lying, the pain. The relationship is already over in her mind. It's not right to make her stay. But they hold the power to end it, because she's stuck in this dangerous need of them. She also calls it a “losing game” (an “Arcade” reference?) And the chorus concludes with the old saying “If you love me, let me go”. The second verse and the bridge just repeat the first verse. Her voice makes the situation sound bleak. I mostly just like the strings in this one.

My prediction: 50% (#17 odds/ #22 scoreboard app). I think the juries would've pushed this through, but it could've been another Sennek situation. Especially if the staging is empty. “The Wrong Place” was also borderline, although with a different vocalist. BORDERLINE IN.

Malta: Destiny - All of My Love “Like a river... runnin'... WILD!” The 2015 JESC winner graduates to adult Eurovision! Destiny's vocals are impressive here, especially during the bridge, which is a spiritual awakening. The lyrics could be interpreted as religious, but they don't have to be. She thought praying was useless because she'd never find her path. She felt “no good” and misunderstood. But now everything's changed. This person's love has healed and freed Destiny, so she gives her love back in return. The song is basically a big 'thank you'. She keeps hoping they won't let her down though, showing doubt still exists. But she now realizes their positive validation was right. The song's intro is divine, with a church organ and low-pitched “ah-uh-oh”s. Then the first verse is bare with spread-out piano slams, while Destiny's voice overpowers the isolated, big open space. The finger snaps come next. Then the chorus unleashes an effective clapping rhythm that reminds of me Lumidee / Wayne Wonder / “Pon de Replay”. It's like a bird flapping its wings. The chorus bass-line has a very consuming atmosphere too; it's like the power of universe embracing you. It heightens in the post-chorus. The second verse production gets excited. The song reduces back to piano/snaps before the second chorus. And the bridge is nearly a cappella, save for the claps, with the backing choir leading to Destiny's big note climax. The atmosphere is powerful here. I really love the music video too.

My prediction: 99% (#8 odds/ #8 scoreboard app). Possibly the SF1 jury winner as well. I can't see it being a televote NQ either. LOCKED.

Croatia: Damir Kedžo - Divlji vjetre Well, this is a generic Balkan Ballad. I really dislike the key change as well (those backing vocals…) And I don't like how the instrumental keeps cutting off and switching up. It doesn't flow right. The song opens with a piano buzzer and a slice. Then the frosty piano stays low, with a windy sound and an orchestral jerk in the middle. The smooth strings arrive next. Then it's the dramatic thunder drums, as the pre-chorus escalates. There's a pause, a piano hold, and another pause. Then the smooth strings create a beautiful chorus, with more thunder drums poking through. There's a few isolated kicks halfway, then the percussion pridefully marches ahead. The backing choir sings a line after the chorus. Verse #2 continues the prideful steps and thunder drums. Chorus #2 skips all the build-up. And the song ends on a dramatic slam. The tugging, valiant motion is alright, but nothing special. In the lyrics, Damir still loves his ex, even after they've completely moved on. He wants to move on too, but he can't. It seemed like they were bound forever. So he asks the “Wild Wind” to leave him alone, before he's not himself anymore. He also asks it to bring “withered leaves” and to rain tears on the autumn colours. The lyrics use lots of nature metaphors. “Rip the branches uncontrollably” suggests a messy break-up. There's not much say about the Dora performance. He sings well and the LED lights flash during the thunder drums.

My prediction: 30% (#39 odds/ #36 scoreboard app). I don't think it stands out enough to qualify. UNLIKELY.

Azerbaijan: Efendi - Cleopatra This song is a wild ride. First, Efendi screams “AHHHHHH” across the land. Then the hazy eastern guitar gives a cultural feel. The forceful kicks come next. Then the distressed pre-chorus moves smoother, as the backing cushions it. But the next sequence is SO random: the song stops upon “sounds... like... this”, there's a humming Buddhist mantra on loop, another “AHHHH”, a “LIKE CLEOPATRA!” army command, and a bunch of “LA LA LA”s with room-shaking kicks. She also rolls her R's on “like CleopatRRRa”. Next, verse #2 adds continuous “hey!” slices. An electric guitar starts the next pre-chorus. The bridge goes into machine beeps, more kicks, and stutters; before reducing to a clappy breakdown, a “shhh!”, and then the outro goes into hyper speed. The lyrics are funny too, even with the empowerment message. Efendi boldly compares herself to Cleopatra. They're both queens betrayed by lovers. Both “part goddess, part temptress”. And both “straight or gay or in between” apparently. Efendi's ex left is like Mark Antony, and she clarifies which Marc Anthony lol. You know, “Cleo's gigolo”! No one intervened and she wasn't herself anymore. But now she's back with a vengeance after rediscovering her inner voice – which is that mantra. Cleopatra is her idol I guess. This song is ridiculous, but somehow it works. It's insanely catchy and addictive. Efendi has fun with it while still being a fierce, confident bad-ass. She's in total control of the song; and her life now! And the production goes hard during the “LA LA LA” parts. I love the outro too.

My prediction: 85% (#9 odds/ #9 scoreboard app). Probably a big televote fave but lower with the juries. I'm curious on how they would've staged this. LOCKED.

Cyprus: Sandro - Running Yeah, this is a Meduza copycat, but “Running” is a solid EDM track on its own. The dark, droopy, bass-heavy production traps Sandro in. His vocals aren't the best, but he sounds tormented and tortured; like he's suffering. The song starts with some bass nudges putting pressure on him, alongside a subtle, tense, stationary whistle. Meanwhile, there's deep “BAWP” interruptions throughout the song. The finger snaps come next. Then the song starts moving, and the verse shakes and stops at the end. That quiet part represents how he can't see anymore. The synth drips steadily emerge afterwards, and the shakes and cymbal crashes escalate into the “drop”, which is a bunch of “mmhmm aha”s and dark EDM bass. The drop also starts with a triple clap. Chorus #2 adds snaps to the mix. But the bridge is my fave part, where Sandro's voice jumps out as a desperate cry for help. The beat then stops for a moody string moment, symbolizing when he falls down. The song picks itself back up and ends with strings again. He says “I don't wanna fall again” many times (like collapsing from running), but the final line changes to “I'm NOT gonna fall again”, showing a will to change. Basically, Sandro is tired of running from his mental health, but it's a habit he can't break. He chooses to be alone instead of talking to someone. And he ignores phone calls and door knocks. I like the “BAWP”s and the atmosphere, even if it's a bit monotone. The faster parts represent his running.

My prediction: 40% (#32 odds/ #29 scoreboard app). With the right staging, I could see this being a shock qualifier, but it also depends on his live vocals. BORDERLINE OUT.

Norway: Ulrikke - Attention This is an incredible power ballad. The intro is majestic, with the tense and rising strings (+ piano). After the string tension breaks, there's a series of vibrations, snaps, and drum pats, which move at a patient and careful pace. I also like how she says “attennnTION”. Her voice rises on “I-uh-I-uh-I”, as the piano returns. Then the chorus halts everything, as she screams “SO WHY...” alongside gradual piano and drum booms. There's a rising “DO-oo-OO” hook too. The first chorus is just a tease though. Verse #2 is less minimal and adds background voices. There's some impatient steps, then chorus #2 is MASSIVE and EXPLOSIVE. Ulrikke's huge vocals and the low backing chants really power it. That chorus demands attention. The bridge is a fragile moment. Then more impatient steps + an “OHHHH” build into the finale. So, Ulrikke is desperate for this person's attention, but I get the sense she doesn't like this side of herself. The lyrics show self-awareness. She does crazy, foolish things to make them notice her. She wouldn't normally exhibit these behaviours. She doesn't have time for her friend anymore. But this person is oblivious to her signals. The explosive chorus is when Ulrikke lets her frustration out; she also questions why she changes herself to please someone else. Then, in the bridge, she tries to call it quits, feeling humiliated on the dance floor. On the MGP stage, she wears a sparkly dress next to a violinist and a cellist, and there's a fire rain climax. That final chorus transition is so good.

My prediction: 99% (#11 odds/ #5 scoreboard app). It's the type of ballad that appeals to both juries and televoters. Probably top 10 in the Grand Final too. LOCKED.

Israel: Eden Alene - Feker Libi This >>> “Toy” and “Home”. “Feker Libi” is a celebration of loving someone from another culture without shame. The music showcases this multicultural union by constantly switching the language and instrumental to different parts of the world! In a cohesive way too. Interestingly, 2019 interval act Idan Raichel helped write this. It starts in tropical Ethiopia, with a lamellophone, a couple reedy sounds, and Amharic lyrics expressing Eden's love. Then the song suddenly erupts into “YALLA-LA” shouts, xylophone boops, and commanding drum bangs, as the synth powers up. There's a water drip, then the verses follow horse-galloping ticks and drum wobbles. The pre-chorus adds emphatic claps, leading to a slapping motion on the made-up language part (“maka lakuma”), which I like. Then the European house beat relieves the tension. There's a series of knocks, then the instrumental turns Middle Eastern (I love how this part approaches you), as she says love terms in Amharic, Arabic and Hebrew. The percussion also turns chaotic towards the end, although the song finishes on a quieter note. The lyrics don't say a lot - Eden asks Incan goddess Pachamama to show the way. She says close your eyes and feel the “melodía” (so there's Spanish as well). And that tonight is a “colour party”! But I love the positive energy here. The NF stage includes a lamellophone player, dancers dressed in yellow, foreign scripts on the LED, and camera jerks on the drum bangs. The smiles and Eden's charisma are great.

My prediction: 90% (#18 odds/ #16 scoreboard app). Probably somewhere between 9th-13th in the Grand Final. LOCKED.

Romania: Roxen - Alcohol You I can understand the hype - Roxen's distinct vocal contains raw emotion. They sound like a trembling, broken, sobbing mess. They scream in agony during the last chorus. And they can't finish the “from the bottom of my…” line. But the “Alcohol You”/“I'll call you” pun and the “fake news” lyric are cringe. And the song is kinda pretentious? I like the “I need you but it hurts/To feel like I deserve/Your weapons” line though. I also like the pre-chorus build-up, and the verses sound like a big, dark, empty space. But the chorus pause annoys me. The song is about drunk calling an ex, and how that's probably a bad idea. The colourful morning sunrise makes Roxen squint. They shame their “stupid words”. They drank bittersweet alcohol to relive the memories. They ignore their friends' warnings. They're too weak to acknowledge their ex's bad qualities. And they read between the lines of their ex's lies(?) The last line also switches to “I will call you when I'm strong”, showing a will to change. The first verse follows a 'dun-DUN-DUN-DUN' 4-note piano pattern, with a howling intro and some vocal echoes. There's a thunder roll, then the pre-chorus loudly echo-clacks, as the strings are there until the tension breaks. The chorus is a vulnerable moment - it pauses for the song title; then a heartbeat, a distorted whimper, a metal tick rattle follows. Then some escalating drums. Verse #2 brings the cello, drum patters, and forceful splashes. Chorus #2 starts very shaky. And the song ends with more thunder booms and strings. In the NF, Roxen stares at themselves on the LED. Edit: this is starting to click now.

My prediction: 65% (#7 odds/ #11 scoreboard app). If they aren't running around like “Amnesia”, this will probably qualify, but I can see it being the “Bones” of 2020, where the results don't quite match the hype. It's also too similar to the most recent Eurovision winner. LIKELY.

Ukraine: Go_A - Solovey “Shum” >>> this. Kateryna's “White Voice” singing is irritating in “Solovey”; especially the chorus. The melody and the flute are rather annoying too, but I like some aspects of the electronic production. After the intro twists into view, Ihor's bouncy flute acts as a birdsong/the sound of nature (since the title means “Nightingale”), while the thunder-slam drums are spread out to be dramatic. Next, the verse hums, the snaps arrive, the slams return, and the electronic beat gets things moving partway. The song halts upon the chorus, which also hums before the rubbery drums hit. There's a flute break afterwards, where the beat moves like waves; and heightens midway with claps and broken metal ticks. Verse #2 starts growl-y and the claps come back midway. There's a steam leak, where the vocals muffle. The metal ticks set up chorus #2, which doesn't halt. And the outro slows down into roaring electric guitars, which I find clashing. The lyrics tell a story about Katrusya and Vanyusha, and repeat a lot of phrases. She goes to the valley to pick flowers, while he professes his love to her. But they can only be together until mother finds out. If Kat knew about this, she wouldn't have gotten involved. The chorus pleads the nightingale to not sing so early, since she can't handle happiness right now. The Vidbir version (before the revamp) sounds more pleasant. The stage includes a flutist and a DJ, who also play the drums, while Kateryna wears that black and red thing. There's also guitar sparks at the end. But I just cannot get past the abrasive sound of this song.

My prediction: 85% (#25 odds/ #13 scoreboard app). It's more polarizing than “Shum”, but Ukraine aren't breaking their qualification streak with this lol. Probably more of a televote fave though. LOCKED.

Predictions recap... Locked: Lithuania, Sweden, Russia, Norway, Malta, Israel, Azerbaijan, Ukraine Likely: Romania Borderline in: Belgium Borderline out: Australia, Cyprus Unlikely: Ireland, Croatia, Belarus No chance: Slovenia, North Macedonia

SF1 Winner: Sweden or Lithuania Jury winner: Sweden or Malta Televote winner: Lithuania or Russia Last place: North Macedonia

My Ranking:

01. Norway: Ulrikke - Attention 02. Israel: Eden Alene - Feker Libi 03. Lithuania: The Roop - On Fire 04. Azerbaijan: Efendi - Cleopatra 05. Malta: Destiny - All of My Love 06. Sweden: The Mamas - Move 07. Cyprus: Sandro - Running 08. Romania: Roxen - Alcohol You 09. Ireland: Lesley Roy - Story of My Life 10. Russia: Little Big - Uno

11. Belarus: VAL - Da vidna 12. Belgium: Hooverphonic - Release Me 13. Slovenia: Ana Soklič - Voda 14. Croatia: Damir Kedžo - Divlji vjetre 15. Australia: Montaigne - Don't Break Me 16. North Macedonia: Vasil - You 17. Ukraine: Go_A - Solovey

Tel Aviv 2019 – Grand Final

Host: Israel Slogan: “Dare to Dream” Participants: 41 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host

Winner: Duncan Laurence - Arcade Country: Netherlands Points: 498 (51.9% of highest score possible) Language: English

General Overview:

I regret taking long breaks because now I have to review Tel Aviv 2019 during late 2023… but I'll just focus on the music and the show, same as when I dealt with Moscow and Baku.

Anyways, I'm nostalgic for 2019. It was the first year I felt like a real adult. It was those last moments before we entered into a parallel universe. And years ending in -9 just hit different. Pop music feels fresher; while in Eurovision context: 2009 reinstated the juries and expanded the stage, 1999 removed the orchestra and language rules, 1979 was the first contest held outside western Europe, and 1969 had 4 winners. As for 2019? It's the technology. It's a great year for staging.

It's also a very competitive top 10. Sure, “Arcade” is an obvious winner in hindsight, but Italy came close. I absolutely LOVE my top 10 as well. But the bottom half of my ranking… meh. 2019 is somehow a strong year and a weak year at the same time.

The Grand Final is EXTREMELY bloated. The opening sequence involves Netta piloting a plane that supposedly carries the 26 finalists, while Jon Ola Sand acts as the air traffic controller. Then, different groups of people set-up jeeps, vans, buoys, bicycles, drones, glow sticks, and paper lanterns to act as runway guiding lights. The plane appears to land in the arena, with a split-up LED illusion. Then Netta appears on stage with dancing flight attendants, as the “Toy” instrumental plays. This starts the Flag Parade, where one flight attendant twirls the flags, creating holograms of swirly sparks that shoot upwards; while Dana International, Ilanit, and Nadav Guedj perform. I mean, “Golden Boy” does mention Tel Aviv. This is another hype opener. There's also a montage of past hosts introducing the voting.

I found the hosts funny this year. In the final, there's Erez and Bar bantering about junk food and Madonna, Assi's romantic dinner joke, Netta flirting with Bar, “Lucy used all 20 of my votes”, and Bar surprising Erez at the voting table.

The interval is LONG. First, Conchita, Måns, Eleni, and Verka play song switcharoo. Eleni's version of “Dancing Lasha Tumbai” is a moment, but Måns made “Fuego” boring somehow. At the end, they all join Gali Atari in singing “Hallelujah”. Also lol at Assi startling Verka. Then Assi awkwardly interviews Madonna, but her telling the artists they're all winners was nice. Next, Idan Raichel Project performs “Boee”. I liked this one – it's a smooth atmosphere of cultural elements that turns into great energy. Erez interviews Quavo next. Then it's the mentalist again (UGH!) This time, he gets 3 random finalists to pick a year/song/artist. They just happen to choose 1974/“Waterloo”/ABBA. After that, Netta performs “Nana Banana”, where she's dressed in banana yellow. She sits at the head of the table, then walks across it, showing she's the star. Meanwhile, there's dancers in formal attire, who later reveal more yellow outfits. This song is pretty annoying too (“OWW!”).

FINALLY, we get to the infamous Madonna performance. The intro is cool, with the cloaked chanting monks and church bells, but Madonna's vocals are iffy during “Like a Prayer” (trap remix) and I've never seen someone take so long to walk down a staircase. Then the dancers are in gas masks during the spoken word “Dark Ballet”. Then it's the excessively auto-tuned “Future” featuring Quavo. Madonna and Quavo's dancing is cringe-y here. We aren't done though! There's still a video of Gal Gadot showcasing Tel Aviv. I swear, Israel flaunted every celebrity possible. Jean Paul Gaultier made an appearance too.

The postcards begin with a graphic of the flags in rotating triangles. Then the artists explore Israel, as the same piano notes play every time. After a moment, they press a triangle play button hologram that says “PLAY”, and they dance with a group of people, with a different instrumental for every country. At the end, they throw a triangle forward. And the arena's ceiling structure shows the flag colours in triangular lights, with a piano sequence + “WAH” sound.

Did I mention the 2019 design involves triangles??? The logo itself is a star made of 3 triangles. And the stage is a triangular platform pointing forwards, with a triangular archway overhead, and a V-shaped audience ramp. That archway disappears for many of the performances though, which is a wise decision. Tel Aviv also steals the bridges from Lisbon. And the LED screen returns, which can split into vertical turning sections.

The jury voting was very close. Italy and Russia lead early on, but eventually North Macedonia wouldn't budge from #1, until Sweden overtook on the very last country. 2nd place kept flipping too. And the Netherlands was close to winning the jury. However, it was revealed post-contest that Belarus's top 10 jury points were actually their bottom 10. Meaning North Macedonia should've won the jury. What a random jury winner. Otherwise, the map uses glitter-light country shapes. Izhar Cohen was the Israeli spokesperson, meaning all 4 Israeli winners appeared tonight. And the EBU switched to revealing the televote points in jury vote order. Oh, and Hatari upset the audience with Palestinian flags.

Malta: Michela - Chameleon

Albania: Jonida Maliqi - Ktheju tokës Of course Albania is second in the running order. I also just realized this song gives me “1944” vibes.

Czech Republic: Lake Malawi - Friend of a Friend

Germany: S!sters - Sister “I'm sorry, 0 points”. I guess 2018 was an anomaly, as Germany returns to the bottom 2. “Sister” is just a bland entry. It wants to be an epic inspirational ballad, but the composition is as inoffensive as possible and refuses to be distinct. The song starts with a music box, followed by piano dings. Then the drums march until the music box returns to pause the build-up, with cymbal shimmer transitions; then foot-taps and strikes ensue. Verse 2 adds foot-taps and light guitar after a second. Then the song peaks with heavier drums and that “SISTER... OOH WAH OOH” bit... which is a very flat climax. The bridge resumes the music box again. The drums are boring, the melody is basic, and the music box is whatever. The lyrics promote non-familial sisterhood. Indeed, S!sters aren't even real sisters. The duo urges women to support each other instead of trying to knock the competition down. The narrator sighs “I'm tired” of it. She tried to inhibit her sister but couldn't. She wouldn't share her success, saw her as an enemy, and feared her power. But she empowers her sister in the chorus, and apologizes in verse 2. The staging is basic as well. It starts dark, with the pair on opposite sides of the ramp, as they change leads. And the LED shows their sad faces singing (*eye roll*) They then meet in the middle, and yell “SISTER” at each other while amateurishly bouncing. There's also an unearned fire rain finale and they excitedly embrace at the end. Their vocal sounds emotional, but in a saccharine way.

Russia: Sergey Lazarev - Scream The bad running order slot didn't hurt this.

Denmark: Leonora - Love Is Forever

San Marino: Serhat - Say Na Na Na I can't hate on people having the time of their lives.

North Macedonia: Tamara Todevska - Proud

Sweden: John Lundvik - Too Late for Love John's charisma (and the Mamas) really elevate this.

Slovenia: Zalagasper - Sebi

Cyprus: Tamta - Replay

Netherlands: Duncan Laurence - Arcade (winner review below)

Greece: Katerine Duska - Better Love

Israel: Kobi Marimi - Home This just screams “we don't want to host again”. It's a dated song with a formal performance, and Kobi's voice is excruciating (“I AM SOMEOoOoOoONE”). I just want him to STOP. He gargles the word “bruise” too. The orchestral string intro is from the 1950s. Then a gentle piano follows, as he sounds choked up. A small, anxious running beat appears next, with a bit of guitar and snowy echoes. Then the first chorus rests after a cymbal shimmer. Meanwhile, there's 3-way split-screens of Kobi and jagged screens showing the music video. The backing choir comes out during verse 2 and they stand close to him. It's an intense visual. The instrumental stays gently anxious until the bridge, where the strings grow and the melody shifts, as Kobi walks across the bridge. The slow drums enter at the climax, with fire rain and him walking across the ramp. Plus a rising bit and a pause. The song ends gently again, and with another big gargling vocal. Kobi is an over-singing, over-emoting showman. The lyrics are about personal growth. Kobi is focused on the current moment for the rest of his life. He runs “barefoot to the mountain tops” and hugs cold water (ie. facing extreme and uncomfortable challenges). And now that he found his identity, he's coming home. He used to listen to others and waited for time to pass. It was a long, suffering journey and he's done with letting that hurt affect him. It's a nice message, but the song is too theatrical and formal to make me feel anything.

Norway: Keiino - Spirit in the Sky

United Kingdom: Michael Rice - Bigger than Us A bland and forgettable entry puts the UK in last place. John Lundvik clearly kept the better song for himself. “Bigger than Us” wants to be an epic inspirational ballad, like Germany. It's more stimulating than “Sister” at least, and it has an innocent, uplifting vibe. But it's still formulaic and predictable. The song starts with a warm, hopeful piano, as the audio skips on “me and you”. The kicks and snaps come next. Then the song suddenly slam-stops, and the “anthemic” chorus brings the percussion and distorted “oh oh oh” responses. The backing lifts the last “it's bigger!” The second chorus extends into a back-and-forth “bigger (bigger)” with the backing. The bridge quiets to a pretty piano, leading to a drum breakdown, where the choir comes on stage giving “hah-oh”s. The last chorus is elevated by strings and stage sparks. And they stand around a fiery circle. The stage starts grayscale, as Michael walks forward with smoke behind him. Then the LED lights up with outer space imagery. He also shows his vocals on “ONLY HOPE”, “WE SEEEE YEAH”, and “UUUUS”. The lyrics lack depth though. The word “bigger” is said 47 times. Michael wants the subject to hear him. He says that love is attainable between them. He offers his hand and promises he won't give up. While the chorus proclaims that their love is bigger than everything. It's a bit trite. His performance is fine, the backing choir improves things, and the chorus shift kinda works. But yeah, this is bland.

Iceland: Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra

Estonia: Victor Crone - Storm Uhh was that a camera fuck up?

Belarus: Zena - Like It Zena cannot sing. The chorus is kinda annoying too.

Azerbaijan: Chingiz - Truth The verses are better than the chorus.

France: Bilal Hassani - Roi I view France's 2017/18/19 entries as a trilogy. Madame Monsieur even helped write this one. “Requiem” and “Mercy” told unique stories, but “Roi”'s message of self-love has 0 subtly. Especially the staging. It starts with a flashlight on Bilal's face, with colourful tears and words. Then, teen ballerina Lizzy Howell walks out, twirls, and shakily pushes wrists with Bilal. Then he comforts deaf dancer Lin Ching-lan. Meanwhile, the LED shows quotes, news headlines and videos of the dancers; as well as an empty throne room. Bilal also kneels during the bridge. While at the end, they all stand together making hand-crowns, as the LED shows a child video of Bilal + “We are all Kings/Queens”. The lyrics alternate English and French frequently. Bilal asserts “I will always be [me]”. She decides her own path. He lives life despite judgement. It bothers people and they tell her how to be, but she defies it; retorting “you cannot change me boo”. The term “king” is used to empower. Verse 2 questions why they hurt for nothing. We choose many things, but not who we are, it's no one's business. Bilal projects self-love, security and confidence. And the “I'M NOT RICH...” and “know-oh-oh-oh” hooks are fine, but the chorus suffers from the plain modern drum beat. The verses follow an active piano, with fist-pounding ticks partway. The post-chorus adds some strings and fluttery metal bits. Verse 2 has some drumstick echos midway. And the bridge reduces to low vibrations.

* Bilal uses both he/him and she/her pronouns, so I alternated

Italy: Mahmood - Soldi This is so addictive. The “come va, come va, come va” and “Soldi, Soldi” repetitions are catchy AF. The handclaps get the audience involved. It sounds fresh and modern. And it changes gears so cleverly. There's an Arabic guitar that keeps reappearing, mixed with assertive foot stomps. The verses follow “dun... dun-dun” piano notes, with more stomps. There's a pause on “AH UH”. The pre-chorus piano races with smooth strings, and the vocal jumps out midway with taps. Then the sludgy bass drops with double handclaps. And the Arabic guitar cuts this off effectively. The bridge has a more cluttered sound, ending in more strings. Mahmood crams a lot of words into this, but it doesn't harm the melody. The lyrics tell a personal story with a justifiably bitter tone. It's about his deceitful father, who walked out on his family, and only cares about money. Mahmood reassures his mom he's on his way home to see him. She thought it was love. The father is breaking Ramadan and smoking a hookah, and there's a Jackie Chan reference. Upon seeing him, Mahmood sings quickly since his mind is racing. He doesn't trust him. He doesn't care to explain. He decries “you only cared about the money, as if I have any”. The father won't say the right words. Mahmood rejects his offer. And the bridge inserts an Arabic phrase that his dad used to say. The staging involves Mahmood and the dancers leaning backwards during the chorus, as the LED shows a clapping silhouette. It also shows flaming banknotes, a sad boy, translated lyrics, and his face breaking. Plus beggars' hands on the floor. The dancers have some interesting choreo as well. But yeah, I just love how the different parts work together here.

Serbia: Nevena Božović - Kruna This is pretty epic by the end of it. It's grown on me! I love the part when the strings stop.

Switzerland: Luca Hänni - She Got Me

Australia: Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity

Spain: Miki - La venda This is an insanely energetic, joyous, and fun song. It sounds like a World Cup theme. It does burn out after repeated listens (I need to catch my breath!), and it is repetitive, but those “LA VENDA YA CAYÓOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” shouts are really catchy. The celebratory trumpet intro stands out too. And there's many quick “woo” pauses for breathers. Most of the song has fast, summery guitar and drums. The verses add backing “ohhhhh” to it, while the chorus adds horns and “HEY”s. The bridge retreats into rapid claps and Spanish guitar, then escalates with drum slams and horns, leading to a hollow drum breakdown. And it repeats “Lo que ere” 12 times. The song energizes the arena, but the choreo is kinda messy. They jump and raise their arms to hype up the crowd. And they run to the bridge and ramp at the end. The stage includes a 3x2 structure of 6 rooms with hand-drawn decor, and a frozen person in each. Miki turns around and visits them. The LED shows bold colours, including paint splatters and fingerprints. There's also a moving, lit-up, mummy thing. They brace against gravity during the camera tilts. Miki holds a camera at one point. The lyrics are trying too hard to be deep though. It's about removing the “blindfold” to live happy and free. Every verse line starts with “Te”. Miki remarks “They buy you because you're for sale”. You have excess to sell. You're lost because there's a way to be. He says there's other options – love and choose yourself. You're enough without forcing it.

The Winner:

The Netherlands achieves their 5th victory, and their first in 44 years. Austria still holds the record at 48 years between 1966 & 2014. However, Spain or France could break that in the near future. The Netherlands were one of my favourite countries during the '70s, '80s, and '90s, but they dropped off in the new millennium. They didn't even qualify for 8 years in a row. But then “Birds” changed everything; and “Calm After the Storm” did even better. Since then, the Netherlands winning again felt inevitable. Duncan's win is the culmination of their revival. Switching to internal selections has worked out pretty well.

“Arcade” is probably the least controversial winner of 2014-2023. There's nothing divisive about it. Although, at the time, I wasn't feeling the studio version. I was sick of hearing songs with big loud percussion. I didn't want a OneRepublic clone winning Eurovision. But after seeing Duncan's sensitive performance, I changed my mind. I can FEEL the emotion in this song clearly. Those “AHHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHH”s and “ALL I KNOW”s wouldn't leave my brain either. It's catchy! There's a very noticeable verse/chorus contrast too. The song opens with a piano sequence and vocal howls, creating a cold night forest atmosphere. Then the introverted verse expresses Duncan's sadness and vulnerability, with the soft melancholic piano and lower vocal. The howls return with boops and Duncan's voice rises. Then the guitar and snaps get the pre-chorus moving. While the heavy drums slam down in the chorus, with some clicks. The second verse adds low drum booms and skips the pre-chorus. The later choruses are doubled. The bridge is a delicate moment. There's a dense drum breakdown. The last chorus adds moody strings. And the song ends where it started.

The chorus is like pounding your fists against the wall in agony because you can't take it anymore. It represents Duncan's frustration. His broken heart has unfixed cracks. He lost some pieces while returning home. He's afraid of himself. His mind feels different. He begs to be carried home. While the chorus surmises that loving this person is a losing game. The relationship was destined to fail, and he knew it (“I saw the end before it begun”), but he carried on. He was addicted. The “How many pennies in the slot?” line questions how invested his ex was, since they gave up easily. The “Small-town boy in a big arcade” line implies Duncan was out of his depth. But then he calls it quits in the bridge (“Get me off this rollercoaster”). It was a turbulent relationship. The lyrics contain several game metaphors: “lost a couple of pieces”, “pennies in the slot”, “Game Over”; but not in a corny way.

The staging keeps it simple, but still visually satisfying. Emotional ballads don't need anything extra. Duncan spends the entire performance playing a piano that's positioned sideways, while the dark blue lighting establishes the mood. It begins pitch black until the first line. Then the camera slowly zooms in as he looks down at the piano. He only really looks up during the close-ups. A blue spotlight shines on him next. Then a moon orb descends in front of him and he stares at it during the bridge. Then he throws his arms behind him as a blinding white light beams in the background. The stage has a nighttime aesthetic. It fits the song perfectly and I wouldn't change anything about it.

This became a viral TikTok hit, and the first Eurovision song to chart in America since Gina G. It's currently the most streamed Eurovision song ever on Spotify at over 1 billion plays.

Verdict: “A” Tier.

My Ranking:

Grand Final: 01. Italy: Mahmood - Soldi 02. Norway: Keiino - Spirit in the Sky 03. Switzerland: Luca Hänni - She Got Me 04. Albania: Jonida Maliqi - Ktheju tokës 05. Netherlands: Duncan Laurence - Arcade 06. Slovenia: Zalagasper - Sebi 07. Australia: Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity 08. Malta: Michela - Chameleon 09. Spain: Miki - La venda 10. Sweden: John Lundvik - Too Late for Love

11. Cyprus: Tamta - Replay 12. Azerbaijan: Chingiz - Truth 13. Serbia: Nevena Božović - Kruna 14. Greece: Katerine Duska - Better Love 15. North Macedonia: Tamara Todevska - Proud 16. France: Bilal Hassani - Roi 17. San Marino: Serhat - Say Na Na Na 18. Russia: Sergey Lazarev - Scream 19. Belarus: Zena - Like It 20. Estonia: Victor Crone - Storm 21. United Kingdom: Michael Rice - Bigger than Us 22. Germany: S!sters - Sister 23. Iceland: Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra 24. Denmark: Leonora - Love Is Forever 25. Czech Republic: Lake Malawi - Friend of a Friend 26. Israel: Kobi Marimi - Home

Full Ranking: 01. Italy: Mahmood - Soldi 02. Norway: Keiino - Spirit in the Sky 03. Switzerland: Luca Hänni - She Got Me 04. Albania: Jonida Maliqi - Ktheju tokës 05. Netherlands: Duncan Laurence - Arcade 06. Slovenia: Zalagasper - Sebi 07. Australia: Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity 08. Malta: Michela - Chameleon 09. Spain: Miki - La venda 10. Sweden: John Lundvik - Too Late for Love 11. Cyprus: Tamta - Replay 12. Romania: Ester Peony - On a Sunday 13. Belgium: Eliot - Wake Up 14. Armenia: Srbuk - Walking Out 15. Azerbaijan: Chingiz - Truth 16. Serbia: Nevena Božović - Kruna 17. Greece: Katerine Duska - Better Love 18. Hungary: Joci Pápai - Az én apám 19. Lithuania: Jurij Veklenko - Run with the Lions 20. North Macedonia: Tamara Todevska - Proud 21. France: Bilal Hassani - Roi 22. Moldova: Anna Odobescu - Stay 23. Portugal: Conan Osíris - Telemóveis 24. Austria: Pænda - Limits 25. San Marino: Serhat - Say Na Na Na 26. Russia: Sergey Lazarev - Scream 27. Belarus: Zena - Like It 28. Estonia: Victor Crone - Storm 29. Latvia: Carousel - That Night 30. United Kingdom: Michael Rice - Bigger than Us 31. Poland: Tulia - Fire of Love (Pali się) 32. Finland: Darude feat. Sebastian Rejman - Look Away 33. Ireland: Sarah McTernan - 22 34. Georgia: Oto Nemsadze - Keep On Going 35. Germany: S!sters - Sister 36. Iceland: Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra 37. Denmark: Leonora - Love Is Forever 38. Czech Republic: Lake Malawi - Friend of a Friend 39. Israel: Kobi Marimi - Home 40. Croatia: Roko - The Dream 41. Montenegro: D mol - Heaven

Tel Aviv 2019 – Semi-Final 2

Host: Israel Slogan: “Dare to Dream” Participants: 41 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host

General Overview:

In my SF1 write-up, I mentioned that SF2 is the stronger semi this year. However, it's really just the second half of SF2 that's stronger. Indeed, there's only 3 qualifiers in the first 10 songs (and 1 within the first 6). Meanwhile, the last 6 songs are ALL qualifiers; 5 of which make up the top 8 on finale night. Not only that, Lithuania was 1 point away from making it eight qualifiers in a row. Which would've beaten the record of 7 in a row from 2009 SF2. That run from Malta to Azerbaijan is kinda insane.

The show starts with a recap of SF1, then the hosts come on stage immediately, since there are no opening performances. Tonight's memorable moments include: Assi guessing Meryl Streep and Mariah Carey for the “M” artist, Erez accusing Assi of breaking voting rules, Erez's “no you wish” response to Assi, Lucy's awkward “a cappella shoes” joke, and Assi pulling up a picture of Mahmood this time. The hosts also interview Conchita and Måns, since they'll be performing in the final.

The interval stars Shalva Band, a group of disabled musicians who withdrew from Israel's 2019 national final. They perform a cover of “A Million Dreams” from the Greatest Showman soundtrack. The two female singers hold hands in wedding dresses and they have nice voices. The one on the left also reads braille. And there's a wedding-style archway on stage.

Next, mentalist Lior Suchard grabs 4 random artists in the Green Room and asks them to write down a number between 1-1000. He then unravels a banner that contains their numbers; and flips it around to spell out “Eurovision”. This had to be staged... right? There's also part 2 of the DJ Earworm-style mash-up of past Eurovision entries. And a montage of “12 points” moments... enough filler.

The Netherlands wins this semi-final, despite placing 3rd with the juries and 2nd in the televote (same as Australia in SF1). The jury winner is North Macedonia, while Norway tops the televote... all of this will happen again in the grand final. Additionally, the juries ranked Norway 11th, which is ridiculous. They also didn't have Albania in their top 10. The “jury qualifiers” that missed out were Moldova and Romania. On the flip side, the juries saved Denmark at the expense of Lithuania.

× Armenia: Srbuk - Walking Out This is a spiteful and confrontational song about leaving an abusive ex. I love that! The empty staging explains the NQ, but Srbuk's performance is fierce anyways. The chorus is also stiff and shout-y (“WALKING OUT, WOOHOO” is a meh hook), but anger is meant to sound unstable. Her impassioned voice shows strength to stand up and fight back. She repeats “I'M WALKING OUT!” as a firm stance. She'll burn down what she built! In the song, Srbuk asks “Who are you? / What you really do?” because her partner seems like a different person. They get mad at her being upset. They're dependent and defensive. They repress emotions. They aren't there for her. And she claps back with: “can you function on your own?”; “wait for... oh no I'm done!”; and “At last I feel proud!” The camera cuts and tilts fit this attitude. Especially the sharp cuts and zooms in verse 2. The stage also uses red lighting at first. The song opens with a distant, cold piano, as we see Srbuk make a fist from behind. Then reality sinks in via a winding down sound, and the irate percussion aggressively claps and splash-slams. It pauses in the pre-chorus for traditional strings. Then a glitch sound cuts to a spinning overhead shot, and the chorus uses shuddering slices. The pre-chorus is skipped the second time. The LED floor cracks upon chorus #2. And then Srbuk's kneeling is very effective – where the bridge quiets, the key change hits, the flames erupt, and she shrieks like crazy. She also “walks out” at the end.

× Ireland: Sarah McTernan - 22 Dead last in SF2. Ireland has hit rock bottom. “22” has a daydreamy, 'light as a cloud' atmosphere, but the melody is lacking and Sarah's vocal is lifeless, making it kinda boring. The 1950s diner staging doesn't work either, where Sarah sits at a table with two milkshakes on it. There's two dancers that come out to grab them. They interact with Sarah, but their facial expressions are so extra. Then, during the bridge, she lays on the table against a starry floor LED, as shown on the overhead camera. The dancers then spin the table around with her on it. The main LED, meanwhile, shows a vintage car “driving back” during that lyric; as well as checker patterns and classic comic book drawings of Sarah. Furthermore, calling your song “22” just invites Taylor Swift comparisons. It's her ex's house number, it could be anything. Anyways, Sarah keeps driving back there because she's constantly thinking about him. That sounds... stalkerish. New faces and old places are reminders. She's afraid to admit her feelings and admits to messing it up. The song is mainly driven by a bass guitar groove (the LED shows the soundwave of it at first). The pre-chorus adds a slight keyboard. Then the drums enter in the chorus, alongside guitar shimmers, while the post-chorus uses guitar beeps and “oh whoa” backing (I like that part). The drums continue in verse 2 after a second. And the bridge quiets down. This entry is more 'whatever' and basic than bad though.

× Moldova: Anna Odobescu - Stay Possibly the most forgettable entry of 2019. Moldova isn't known for serious entries, but 2007 and 2013 did well. The staging blatantly copies Ukraine 2011 – it involves someone making sand art on a table, which is projected on the LED. It's an impressive talent, but an unoriginal idea. And why is there a birdcage, a wine glass, and some candles on the table? Moreover, “Stay” is a generic ballad. The lyrics are filled with meaningless cliches that lack substance: “Even with the wind we'll make it”! “Keep the fire burning inside”! “No matter what they say/ It's now or never”! “If I fall/ I'm nothing at all”! And Anna uses a lot of imperative verbs to empower this person. She tells them to stay until she figures out how they can reconcile forever. The composition is so close to being an epic power ballad, and it almost wins me over. It starts with a pensive piano. The strings sneak in next, followed by a thundery transition. Then the chorus moves in a pattern that I like – ie. the “STAY until I find a WAY” emphases + the stop/start seesawing strings + the echoes. A string post-chorus follows this. Then verse 2 elevates with a crisp drum, a fizzy synth, and continued strings. The later choruses become heavier. And the bridge reduces to a quiet piano and a heartbeat, as she interacts with the artist, leading to a boom-clap drum breakdown. Anna then disappears in a swirly hologram - she didn't stay after all. She also wears a white dress on stage, and has good vocals.

✓ Switzerland: Luca Hänni - She Got Me This is one insanely catchy song: “Gettin' rowdy, rowdy”; “She let her body... TALK”; “WHEN SHE GO LOW...” x2; “She got me dirty dancin'... DIRTY DANCIN'!” And that drop is blazing hot and made for grinding. The audience goes wild when Luca dances during it. He's charming in a likeable way. He has sexy confidence. He smiles and never stops moving. In the intro, he walks slowly in camera cuts. Then he sways to the side during the pauses. And later, he jumps into a pyro blast. The choreo is hot too. While the red lighting, the wide and changing aspect ratios, and the glitchy LED establish a scene. The lyrics are typical horny dude thoughts: this seductive girl compels Luca to dirty dance in the club. She's the “kinda lady that mama like/But mama ain't here tonight” (lol). She makes all the boys and girls stop what they're doing. And now they're sweaty and animalistic. The production is a bop. There's a guitar intro, followed by a screechy whistle, a knocking beat, a quick metal drum, and then the beat strengthens. The pre-chorus slides across with bass taps and conclusions (+ lyric pauses). The chorus pulls back with claps and a bird call, then escalates with bass blares and a loud alarm on “DIRTY DANCIN'”. Then the fiery “eeeer” drop runs wild afterwards. The next pre-chorus and the bridge uses taut bass strums instead. The bridge is the weakest part though. The song then rests before a clappy fire dance and a “WOOP”. Side notes: This hit #1 on my personal chart. Luca won Germany's DSDS in 2012. And this broke a 4-year NQ streak for Switzerland.

× Latvia: Carousel - That Night I like the cozy atmosphere and the vintage stage lighting/colours, but “That Night” is very easy to forget about. The song is a bit sleepy and the composition is too monotonous. I'm not shocked by the NQ. The chorus is dominated by that “LAH-AH-AH-AH-AHVE” hook. But since there's barely a bridge, the chorus is played on an endless loop towards the end. It goes on too long... like she's zoned out... and I zone out too. In the lyrics, singer Sabīne recalls a lonely, starless, dark night, where “one troubled thought broke through”. She spends the chorus wishing for love, in this daydream-y state. But she feels wrong for letting her imagination take over. Then a dark, cold river (reality?) takes her away from paradise, and she begs to return. This is how human brains work. Negative thoughts will intrude unexpectedly. The song is retro indie folk. It opens with an acoustic guitar, then the verse adds this subtle shuffling sound. There's some cymbal crashes and background howls as well. While the chorus has more of a foot-tapping rhythm. The vocals in the super brief are like a distant howl. And there's little bells later on. The instrumental is very subdued, calm and soothing. It sticks to one particular mood, which is introverted ruminating. On stage, Sabīne wears a brimmed hat, while the other band members play a guitar, double bass, and drums.

× Romania: Ester Peony - On a Sunday Artistic entries can be alienating, but the overused “EH-EH-EH-EH-EH” hook is obtrusive too. I like how it claws at you though. Plus the dark, demented, tortured atmosphere is intriguing. The song opens with a warped guitar, where the audio and video purposely skip. The guitar removes its restraints right after, but it's still pained. The finger snaps come next, which sharpen on the first “eh eh eh”, leading to a whoosh. Then the very heavy/dense bass takes over, with deep “WHOA”s and clicks. This is my favourite part. The bass persists for rest of the song, except for two breaks to temporarily relieve the pressure: the first one returns to snaps and acoustic guitar, while the second is a piano break. The bass also appropriately enters on the “smoke” and “nightmare” lyrics, which are the images it conjures up. There's tons of fire eruptions too. On stage, Ester sits on a red armchair, while the guitarist looks solemn on the ramp. She's dressed in black and claws her silver-lined hand. The LED shows ancient pillars, bats flying forward, a splashing raindrops effect, and it turns hellish at the end (with fire rain), until roses appear. There's also jumpy camera cuts and two male dancers in kinky attire. In the song, Ester's break-up was so bad that she'll never forget that day. Now she pays the price for loving them. The smoke represents the painful aftermath. She can't feel at home. The world moves on, but she doesn't. She wants out of this nightmare. She asks if it really happened. She didn't see it coming.

✓ Denmark: Leonora - Love Is Forever This is just obnoxiously happy and sweet. The message that love will solve the world's problems is so overdone in Eurovision. Leonora suggests we “travel the world to see the ruins”, because we don't process history. She tells us “don't get too political”, don't judge, and don't give up because we've only experienced a taste of what's possible. And towards the end, she sings in 4 different languages for universality. The lyrics hit you over the head. The persistent, jerky string jabs are annoying too. They forcibly lift you up. The song is just jabs until the first chorus adds snaps to it. The jabs then pause for a second, and the second verse adds an acoustic guitar to get things moving. The later choruses have a fuller sound, where the backing “oooh” comes in. And the bridge reduces to jabs, snaps and a violin. I don't care for the staging either. It begins with Leonora standing in front of this backdrop of various drawings (a chair, window, ladder and clouds); which opens up to show the audience behind her. Then she climbs an actual ladder towards the top of this gigantic blue chair. Once there, she sways back and forth with 2 backing members, while clouds drift on the LED. The backing is WAY too happy here. Next, the other 2 backing members carry ladders on their shoulders, and climb them backwards. Once everyone is up top, they all sway and kick their feet. The song's atmosphere floats like a cloud, but it does nothing for me. Her voice is so cutesy at the end of the chorus too.

✓ Sweden: John Lundvik - Too Late for Love The fake jury winner, and another top 5 for Sweden. The composition sounds too perfected, like most Swedish entries, but John's sensitive vocal expresses longing, humility, and caring; right from that “Hey, how you've been?” opening greeting. The camera close-up personalizes that opener too. He takes a risk by contacting his ex. It's probably been a while. He never got over them. He wonders if this is mutual and if it's wrong to still picture them together. Then he repeatedly asks if it's too late. While in the chorus, he desperately yells “HEAR ME!” for attention. The music has a hopeful vibe though. It starts with the piano, then a small running beat slides in. Suddenly the song stops and slams, and the chorus is split in two. First, there's hums and snaps; then the “HEAR ME!” shout launches the latter half effectively, which is a release of percussion and backing vocals, with a couple satisfying clack lashes. Verse 2 starts quiet, before the ticking and bass bring the energy back, followed by snaps. The second chorus adds thunderous drums to build even more – this is when the Mamas come out, which is my fave part. They all raise their mics together at the end of the chorus. And the bridge is a sensitive moment, leading to a “NOOO” climax, a clap breakdown, and more thunder drums. The “I could be..” hooks are good too. The stage is dark orange, with this smokey beaming light structure behind John. He also runs on the spot a lot, which matches the energy. And he turns to the side during verse 2.

This had a perfect jury score in Melfest lol. But I think it was the right winner. My other faves from the 2019 final were “Torn”, “Chasing Rivers”, “Ashes to Ashes” and “Hold You”. I wasn't fond of the runner-up, Bishara's “On My Own”.

× Austria: Pænda - Limits 0 televote points for this. Austria had momentum after Conchita during 2016/17/18, but that stops here. Pænda sings with tearful vulnerability and passion, and her soft high voice stands out, but the song is so sloooow. Those “yoUoUoU”s are annoying too. The lyrics have a realistic and insightful take on self-love at least. The verses are personal, where Pænda knows she has to move past her insecurities, but she's trapped in them. She pushed herself too hard before, but now realizes it's okay to not be okay, hoping time will re-calibrate her. She finds clarity looking in the mirror. She wants to believe it'll be better in the future. She feels numb to the pain and forces a smile. She feels chest anxiety. And she addresses the chorus to anyone that can relate. The song opens with twinkling chimes, a plane zooming past, and a dissolved voice. Then the verses move in slow, delicate steps, with those chimes. While the chorus follows a cello that shivers in small movements, with drum patters and string “da-DA”s midway. Her voice gets worked up in the second verse. Then the second chorus intensifies the drums and “da-DA”s, with some crackles. The bridge extends the intensity and shifts the melody, where Pænda lets it crash down. The song then finishes anticlimactically by returning to the delicate. As if this change isn't permanent. On stage, Pænda performs all alone, sitting down for the first half. There's dark lighting and poles of light resembling stars.

× Croatia: Roko - The Dream So, my least favourite Croatian entry is “My Friend”, and guess what? Jacques Houdek wrote their 2019 song as well. Lucky me! “The Dream” just takes itself too seriously. The staging is cringe. It begins with Roko laying on the floor LED, as it shows hellfire and angel wings beneath him. After he sits up, the camera shakes and the floor appears to rise. Then, two “angels” with golden wings descend from the ceiling. They attach wings onto Roko, and then re-ascend. The LED also changes from Hell to Heaven at some point. The religious imagery is too on the nose here. Also, I cannot stand the chorus. Roko's big vocals on “I DREAM OF LOVE... ANGELS OF GOD” are annoying AF. The lyrics are 'whatever' too. He won't give up on this beautiful, extreme dream, and assures it's possible. He mentions uniting a divided world, turning war into art, how we've endured, and how the time is now. For what exactly? Love, I guess. Then he switches to Croatian lyrics. Musically, the song starts with a couple dark synths and a distorted cry. Then the first verse uses repressed icy synth drips and echoing woodblock? ticks. It has a frosty atmosphere. The pre-chorus halts the movement with a boom, followed by lower ticks. The chorus then brings in the tediously-paced heavy drums and sawing strings. An instrumental break follows this, with more drums and rising keyboards. Then verse 2 eases off, before inserting a scattering sound and symphonic strings. The song ends by buzzing down.

✓ Malta: Michela - Chameleon This staging is camp but it works. It showcases modern technology and resembles a music video. It starts with Michela twirling her hair inside a brick house window. Then the camera zooms into her decorated room, it turns yellow, the door “opens”, water floods the room, it becomes an aquarium, the dancers crawl from the under the walls, the water drains, and a chameleon walks across. The lights then rotate bold colours during the drop, while the dancers “multiply”. Next, the stage becomes a jungle to match that lyric. City skyscrapers grow and shake to the beat, as Michela stands on a roof. And at the end, the screen contraption is revealed. The “Chameleon” metaphor is about being adaptable to life's troubles (“we are technicolour!”) The lyrics use colour comparisons and plant metaphors, as Michela refuses to be held in a box or to walk away from her problems. And the bridge is a bunch of “throw this at me, I'll overcome it”. The song starts with a reggae guitar (+ an off-key horn in the intro) until the “MMHMM” + metal drum interrupt. Then the broken metal ticks and bass blobs come in, leading to a roaring horn. The chorus is very hype and loud (“WHEN LIFE BRINGS ME TROUBLE...”) with claps and forceful slams (and metal ticks midway), leading to a quirky “drop” – this submerged bubbling thing, with “CHAME-CHAMELEON” repetitions, more off-key horns, and it peaks with “YALALA”s and roaring horn shakes. The bridge goes into light piano and snaps, and a horn blast-off. And I love how the final chorus lets everything go. It's a super catchy song and the drop is fun.

× Lithuania: Jurij Veklenko - Run with the Lions 1 point away from qualifying. The juries often underrate Lithuania in the semi-finals though. Jurij's performance is a little too sentimental and cloying, but he shows compassion. He really wants to inspire us. He repeats the phrases “c'mon c'mon”, “let me show you”, and “just try it” as encouragement. The song's message is about facing fears to experience life: “If you wanna see, just open your eyes”. Specifically the fear of leaving one's house. It's also about freeing yourself to express your feelings. The “We got love that can't be caged!” line is used as a rallying cry. This could be interpreted in an LGBT context. The lyrics use wildlife metaphors though, which is pretty corny. Musically, the verses follow a buoyant little synth, claps, slices, and kicks. The pre-chorus softens into a space age vibe. And the chorus brings in the percussion and bassline, with backing grunts, “ooh whoa oh” hooks, and a series of dramatic, rapid splitting bangs surrounding the title phrase. The chorus has a big melody as well. Later, the bridge shifts a bit, with an “OOOOOOOOOH-OOH-OOH-OOH” descent, peaking in a backing chant. And there's a brief sawing string outro. The staging isn't particularly memorable. Jurij just stands there with extremely super sympathetic energy. And there's a bunch of jumpy camera cuts during the chorus bangs. The chorus is a bop at least.

✓ Russia: Sergey Lazarev - Scream #StandWithUkraine

Sergey equals his 2016 placement, but I find this one overrated. “Scream” is a spectacle – it's a grand and elegant ballad, and he sings with passion. But it's so slow and exhausting. The chorus stretches out “THEY SCREAAAAAAAAAM” for too long. That chorus is literally two words. The big budget staging tells a story at least, with the wall of mirrors behind Sergey. First, he sings to his reflection. Then there's a line of his back reflections, as shooting stars hurtle forward on the LED. Then his reflection moves independently. But the key moment is when Sergey emotes behind a window of falling raindrops. There's just something about the way he touches the window. Next, we see a line of Sergeys in different positions, with a rainstorm effect. And they all stand in unison during the bridge, making it even more ominous. The lyrics are about him refusing to cry in front of his ex because of his pride. So he leaves them hanging. But he realizes tears aren't silent, so he'll break down eventually. The bridge is a word salad though. The music starts as a solemn piano ballad. Then the pre-chorus awakens with dramatic pounds, where each line rises with icy piano bits, and the “TEARS WILL FALL” part intensifies. While the chorus brings in the orchestral strings and more slow pounds. Verse #2 adds echoing strikes. And the bridge is an ominous, isolating, guilty moment by reducing to louder echoing strikes with silence between them. That's my fave part. But this song overdoes it on the emotion.

✓ Albania: Jonida Maliqi - Ktheju tokës My favourite Albanian entry! I'm glad they didn't translate it to English, it would've ruined it. I love this “boom... ka-boom-KA... boom” “tribal” drum march. There's a sense of impending doom to it. It moves at a very steady pace. And it creates the image of mindlessly walking forward to the rhythm of a drum circle, one heavy footstep at a time. The song also inserts enraged buzzers that blast in your face. Plus breathy “hee”s, an eerie screechy flute, and metal pot ticking all in the first verse; followed by group vocal chants and distortions. Then the chorus soars in a hauntingly distressed way, as Jonida cries in pain through the post-chorus. A flute-lead instrumental break follows this. While verse #2 halts the drums for modern broken metal ticks and distortions. The drums soon return, then submerge, then resurface with a “YO YO”. The song is addressed directly to migrants who left Albania. The title means “Return to Your Land”. The lyrics keep it minimal, saying: they cry into their hands; they yearn without hope; they're separated from their loves ones; they lost their identity. The “One day you live/ The next you die” line is very bleak too. But the sorrowful chorus pleads them to return to the “heart”. The song's atmosphere is incredible and Jonida's voice is very captivating. The flame bursts complement the vibe as well. On stage, Jonida wears a black dress with a gold design. And the floor LED shows a fiery circle, and people trying to escape a nest.

✓ Norway: Keiino - Spirit in the Sky The 2019 televote winner. The song is super catchy and uplifting, the yoik is unique, the lead vocal exchanges are SO satisfying (especially in the chorus), and the progression is incredible. Tom's sweet voice pulls you in during the “can't you stay...” intro, while he turns forward. There's subtle nighttime bass and sparkles, leading to a crackle. Then, once Alexandra takes over, the droopy bass synths get things moving. The taps and audience claps elevate it; as does the windy gust that follows. Then the chorus holds off for a moment until there's a jingle, then the bouncing, jogging, buzzing synth bulldozes through, ending in another gust. That chorus energizes the arena to an insane degree – it was MADE for Eurovision. Verse #2 builds similarly, while the camera tilt-zooms and motion blurs. Chorus #2 doesn't wait this time, and ends with a slam. Then the yoiking bridge quiets to wolf-like whistles; before it escalates with thunder drums, hype clacks, and flames on stage, as Fred's voice strengthens. Then the final “I HEAR YOU CALLING ME AT NIGHT” is epic. In the lyrics, Tom begs someone to stay for the night. He says they can leave in the morning to lessen the commitment. While Alexandra's parts show a transformation. At first, her spirit is lost. She's called worthless. She begs someone to find her. She needs a hero. Her fears are exposed. But the verses switch from “My name is nothing” and “running with the demons” to “Our name is freedom” and “dancing with the fairies”. While the spirits and northern lights symbolize freedom. The trio also has fun on stage. They start in different places, and meet up later (to match the story). The camera cuts to whoever's turn it is. The LED shows hurtling mountains and galaxies; and blocky forest animals at the end. The song has a night forest vibe too.

✓ Netherlands: Duncan Laurence - Arcade (winner review in Grand Final post)

✓ North Macedonia: Tamara Todevska - Proud The real jury winner, North Macedonia's first ever top 10, and their first qualifier since 2012. What a way to debut a new country name! The song is addressed to Tamara's daughter, but it also works as Tamara talking to her younger self. It's about how girls are treated unfairly. She warns that “they” (men) will try to dictate her behaviour and physical appearance. And that society's rules were set up for her to lose. But she promises to be by her daughter's side, and empowers her to speak up and show her pride – to “go and break the rules”. Tamara also gives a strong performance. Her vocal has a pleading, determined tone, showing the importance of the message. She gasps a lot. She repeats the words “I'm proud” like she's clinging on. And the song's mood is very tearful. But the pacing is tedious. The piano repeatedly dings at first, then it sounds withdrawn. The song pauses during one gasp, then the dings return. The chorus piano tickles a bit. The piano emphasizes the “GO ON NOW” part. The sad string break also sounds withdrawn, where the LED shows photos of little girls and mothers. Then verse #2 intensifies with sawing strings, peaking with the “SHINE YOUR LIGHT” backing shout. The next “GO ON NOW” has the strings echo the piano part. And the final chorus is intense. It also pauses on the last “Tell them...” On stage, Tamara wears a green and black dress, with 6 reflections of her backside on the LED. And at the end, a photo of Tamara and her daughter is shown.

✓ Azerbaijan: Chingiz - Truth Their first top 10 since the vote-buying scandal. It's a professional composition, and Chingiz has great stage presence, but the chorus is too choppy. It's like his voice keeps cutting in and out. Still, the production is really cool. The verses have submerged whirring synths, relentless taps, warped “AHUH” howls, and hard “HEH” claps. It has a good rhythm. The pre-chorus adds a hint of traditional guitar. There's a quick pause, then the pulsating/snapping chorus rises above water, with an “ooh oh” post-chorus. The howls are motorized in verse 2. And Chingiz chants in the bridge, before unleashing a long note. The high budget staging involves two robot arms shining lasers on Chingiz's chest, drawing an anatomical heart outline, as he stands in front an upside down triangle. He also looks to the side at first. Later, the LED shows a yellow beating heart and a broken image of a woman's face. There's a swirly water hologram. And during the bridge, a white light hologram of Chingiz beams upwards, then quickly descends. It's like his soul left his body... it's too much. The central hook is Chingiz repeatedly telling his ex to “SHUT UP ABOUT IT!” He doesn't want to hear her “truth” (her explanation). It's too soon. The song has a 'I don't her' attitude, although the falsetto chorus shows agony. He tells himself to get through this and to keep it together. He won't let her break him. He drinks to forget that she moved on. But she randomly shows up, so he reminds himself to not give in.

My Ranking:

01. Norway: Keiino - Spirit in the Sky ✓ 02. Switzerland: Luca Hänni - She Got Me ✓ 03. Albania: Jonida Maliqi - Ktheju tokës ✓ 04. Netherlands: Duncan Laurence - Arcade ✓ 05. Malta: Michela - Chameleon ✓ 06. Sweden: John Lundvik - Too Late for Love ✓ 07. Romania: Ester Peony - On a Sunday 08. Armenia: Srbuk - Walking Out 09. Azerbaijan: Chingiz - Truth ✓ 10. Lithuania: Jurij Veklenko - Run with the Lions

11. North Macedonia: Tamara Todevska - Proud ✓ 12. Moldova: Anna Odobescu - Stay 13. Austria: Pænda - Limits 14. Russia: Sergey Lazarev - Scream ✓ 15. Latvia: Carousel - That Night 16. Ireland: Sarah McTernan - 22 17. Denmark: Leonora - Love Is Forever ✓ 18. Croatia: Roko - The Dream

Tel Aviv 2019 – Semi-Final 1

Host: Israel Slogan: “Dare to Dream” Participants: 41 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host

General Overview:

I just finished a year with super imbalanced semi-finals, and now I get to do... another year with super imbalanced semi-finals! Except it's the reverse of 2018. This time, SF1 is the “mid-off” and SF2 is the “bloodbath”. In fact, none of this year's top EIGHT comes from SF1.

2019 sees Israel host the last contest of the decade for a third time (after 1979 and 1999). While the number of participants drops to 41. Bulgaria left for financial reasons. And Ukraine were forced to withdraw after Maruv refused to sign a contract that restricted her from performing in Russia. The 2nd and 3rd placers in Vidbir also declined to replace her. A real shame, since “Siren Song” would be a contender for my #1 this year.

The presenters are Erez Tal, Bar Refaeli, Assi Azar and Lucy Ayoub. Their humour isn't as strong as Petra and Måns or the Portuguese team. But I still find them amusing. Erez is my favourite; I laughed when he mocked the waving audience members. The other memorable jokes tonight were: Assi sneaking into Bar's shot, Assi pulling up a shirtless pic of Miki, and the empty CD/DVD reveal.

The show opens with a 5-year-old Netta and her family watching Dana International win in 1998. She takes this inspiration to sing “Toy” at a kids talent show. This cuts to a recap of her 2018 winning moment. Next, we go inside the arena, where a bunch of robotic “look at me”'s and flashing bars of light set up Netta's grand entrance – where she comes out of a giant cat figurine. Then she sings a remix of “Toy” that changes production several times, including a chicken clucking beat at first. She also unleashes a crazy note at one point. It's a hype opener, I'll admit that.

The interval stars Dana International singing a cover of Bruno Mars's “Just the Way You Are”. Her performance starts in her dressing room, then she walks down a hallway that leads to the stage. Once on stage, there's a kiss cam showing straight and gay couples kissing. Dana is there to spread love! Next, we see a montage of the 2019 artists dancing in the postcards... this is pure filler. And later, there's a DJ Earworm-style mash-up of famous Eurovision songs from the past. I liked that one.

Australia wins this semi-final, despite placing 2nd in the televote and 3rd with the juries. The televote winners is... Iceland. Didn't see that coming. While the jury winner is Czechia, because of course it is. The public saved San Marino at the expense of Hungary. While the juries saved Belarus at the expense of Poland. Poland was 2 points away from qualifying, actually.

✓ Cyprus: Tamta - Replay 2019 kicks off with “Fuego” 2.0! Both songs have Major Lazer-esque production and female singers acting playfully dominant (“You've got a problem”... “I'm the one to blame... “I know you miss the taste”). The subject twists and turns at 2AM craving Tamta, so they call her “early in the morning” for an undercover booty call. But she's not a tease, she's “all in tonight”. The title “Replay” implies this is a recurring thing. The song is also catchy AF, particularly the “THAT'S WHEN YOU CALL ME” / “EARLY IN THE MORNING” repetition shouts and the “replay-replay-replay” stutters (it replays the word replay!) The stutters have a jittery visual effect too. On stage, Tamta wears shiny leather and turns to the side a lot. There's also 4 dancing cowboys. They move their hands into the frame and remove her jacket later on. She then gets sensual during the bridge. The performance starts with the spotlight turning on/off on Tamta as well. And the black clothing theme is contrasted by 6 pillars of white light. Musically, “Replay” opens with laggy guitar plucks. Then the first verse suppresses the plucks, while inserting a few purring motor bursts (like the song is glitching), and adds taps midway to get things moving. The chorus stops the beat via a slam, like it's had enough. Then the beat returns and builds up, pausing on the main lyric. Then broken stutter ticks lead to the brass-y “womp-womp” drop. That drop makes you sink on the dancefloor. The bridge is a cool down. And there's pyro bangs to start the last chorus, which keeps the beat this time.

× Montenegro: D mol - Heaven This just sound like Christian music on a beach. No thanks. The group harmonies, the wholesome smiles, and the white outfits give that vibe. The vocals, staging, and instrumental are messy as well. The chorus uses the word “falling” too many times. The odd camera angles don't really work – I don't like how they keep turning towards the camera. Their different placements on stage at the start look random. And I cringe when they all look up to heaven. Moreover, the lyrics aren't profound. The narrator was left lonely, heartbroken and empty before they found love. They felt naked, blind and ready to give up. That's the entire story. The first verse repeats a few words, but not in a noticeable way. The “I'll catch you while you're falling” line feels shoehorned in too. The group even tries to catch one of them from falling at the end... which is also cringe. And the instrumental has WAY too much going on. It doesn't mix traditional and modern very well. The intro feels “off”, with squeals, snaps, and a warped siren. The first verse is mainly piano, with a bit of traditional strings and echoing steps. There's a splash transition. Then the chorus has a snappy beat, pan flutes, and more squeals; followed by a string break. The song's tempo increases from this point on. There's quacks in the 2nd half. Verse 2 reduces to computer “blips” midway, followed by a hip-hop-ish drum, a quick pause and a thunderclap. And the song ends with more strings. Nothing about this entry works.

× Finland: Darude feat. Sebastian Rejman - Look Away Finland selects the DJ behind the “Sandstorm” meme, while UMK chooses the song. It was the same with Saara Aalto last year. But “Look Away” finished dead last in SF1. The melody is limp, the “drop” is nothing, and the “look away”s in the chorus are never-ending. The “is it in my heaaaaad” hook is fine though. The song's message is about how we “look away” from the serious issues affecting our world. Sebastian is done with singing about love; this is more important. He can't ignore what's happening. He wonders how we sleep at night and questions if he's the only one mentally affected by this. Musically, the song starts with two drum kicks, then the dance club piano and buzzing comes in. Those kicks are reused for transitions. While the pre-chorus piano is more isolated. Then there's a beat acceleration at the beginning, middle, and end of the “drop”. But the “drop” plays it too safe and doesn't change things up enough – it's just a faster tempo. Things briefly cool off before verse 2, which adds splashy drums. The next pre-chorus uses antsy guitar and a slower boom-boom-splash beat. The latter is repeated at the end of the song. The staging is the best aspect though. It involves a random dancer, all alone on the main stage, moving against a wind machine with seawater on the LED behind her. Midway through, she “disappears” into darkness, and is shown drowning on the LED. Then she “magically” returns to the stage. I guess magic works when you look away.

× Poland: Tulia - Fire of Love (Pali się) “White Voice” singing is polarizing. The first few seconds of “Fire of Love” involves ear-splitting shrieks... it's not a good first impression. But the verses salvage this somewhat. There's an electric guitar that runs through them that slices through everything and gives a bad-ass attitude. It's just the sneering, high-pitched chorus vocals that are grating. Although they do serve a purpose. “Pali się” is the Polish way of shouting “FIRE! FIRE!” to alarm someone. So Tulia are literally shouting “FIRE! FIRE!” in that chorus. Lyrically, the song is about how love will melt the frozen, doubting heart. How it'll free the abandoned, indifferent heart that's hard as stone and feels nothing. All it takes is one small spark. And then the fire brigade is useless! On stage, the 4 women stand on a spinning platform, while dressed in traditional attire. They're draped in long red veils that they remove in unison early on. And the LED shows their faces one at a time. After that a cappella shrieking intro is over with, the electric guitar and claps jump in right away, alongside an “ah huh ah huh” chant. The guitar groove drives the verses, with light stomps and hi-hat. While the chorus is a clappy schoolyard chant with tambourine jingles. There's a pause after each chorus before the guitar returns. And the 3rd verse delays the guitar even longer for an audience clap-a-long moment. The song also begins and ends in English.

✓ Slovenia: Zalagasper - Sebi “Sebi” expresses intimacy so well, with Zala's minimalist vocal, the chill instrumental, and how the couple stands very close to each other. She looks directly at Gašper while he takes in what she says. He alternates between smiles and serious faces. And he breaks eye contact a few times to look at his instruments as a distraction. The camera also spins around them, and the LED shows a starry night sky. There's a nighttime ambience here. “Sebi” is a late night conversation, where Zala offers her support when Gašper feels overwhelmed. She says progress keeps her going. That she goes with the flow and resists it. That it's okay to cry. That they accept each other despite different desires. That he doesn't need to prove himself. Not everything has a meaning; nothing is forever; and common tears and fears create a bond. The chorus, meanwhile, repeats the words “Stay true to yourself / Don't tell me to forgive you”. The message is that you don't have to be a perfect person in a relationship. Zala is taking that pressure off. The production is very atmospheric and quirky as well. The intro has dark dreamy keyboards, hollow knocks, broken metal tick rattles, and computerized claps. While the verses reduce to just knocks and taps, with some purring motor bits. Verse 2 has more rattles though. And the chorus is the same as the intro. They both soar. There's some distant voices in there too. None of these quirks clash either. It's smooth. Zala's vocal might seem boring, but the chorus melody makes up for it.

✓ Czech Republic: Lake Malawi - Friend of a Friend The “Don't Come Easy”/“Dance You Off” of 2019. There's so much awkward energy here - the nervous smiles, the spoken word pre-chorus, the lead singer hopping backwards, his dance moves, him sliding/falling to the floor, him gesturing the camera to follow him. And it's like they're acting awkward on purpose, which comes across pretentious. I do like the editing though. Each band member is inside a rectangular frame, and during the chorus, their frames multiply and shift around, while the LED alternates bold colours. They wear bold sweaters too (black, yellow, or red). But those are Belgium flag colours, not Malawi. Also, the lyrics are asinine. The singer overhears his crush making love next door, and later upstairs. This must be an apartment. They were neighbours at 13 but now she's just a “friend of a friend of a...” etc. I don't really like that hook. He still dreams about meeting up, saying “I'm your man”, even though he forgot her name. This is one-sided. I think it's meant to be silly though. The production shifts between dreary and chipper. The song starts with gradual drips, then the drums and cowbell come in. There's a sad desert guitar. Then the pre-chorus reduces to a bluesy keyboard, creating awkward silence for the spoken word part. The drums return for the chorus, alongside a wiggly guitar groove and dull synth gargles. An 80s synth break follows this, with the same wiggly groove. There's also annoying “I'm only a friend” responses. And two long notes at the end.

× Hungary: Joci Pápai - Az én apám Joci returns after just 2 years... only to give Hungary their first NQ in 10 years... and they haven't participated since. “Origo” was captivating, but I can see how “Az én apám” got lost. The only catchy part is the “n-na na na na na; ya ya ya” part. Joci's performance shows the song is meaningful to him though. He's cherishing the memory of his father, who was gentle and told stories through song, which drove away Joci's sadness. Every road lead to him. It was the “old beautiful days”. Joci remarks how life is too short. He notices the facial resemblance as he ages. And he's proud to tell his son about his grandfather. Musically, “Az én apám” is a folk song, starting with just an acoustic guitar. The foot stomps appear next. Then the first chorus rests, with a couple string? dives. Then the post-chorus uses snaps, thunderous stomps, and folk strings. The snaps remain in verse 2. And chorus 2 adds a marching snare and more heavy stomps. The percussion is strongest by the end. The outro goes on a while though. The song is over before it reaches a climax. But it's a touching dedication. The “na na na” part is like humming or whistling while lost in thought. It is a pensive song. The stage is simple. It starts with Joci sitting on a box in dark lighting, which works for a folk song. Then the LED shows fatherly faces. And a golden tree with roots on the floor later on. There's also fire rain at the end.

✓ Belarus: Zena - Like It #StandWithUkraine

Also Belarus's last performance. Zena's vocals aren't great, some of the lyrics have bad English, and the chorus is bratty and repetitive (“YES YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT” x8). The “tam-tara-ram” hook doesn't do much either. But the two dancers constantly doing flips are engaging. And the ad libs break the repetitiveness (I like the “BABY REPEAT MY MOVES” ending). The song opens with a short distant cry. Then an acoustic guitar brings '00s pop nostalgia, with piano and clacks added midway. Next, there's a halting strike, a low piano chorus, a beat acceleration, a hanging synth, and a blaring synth “drop”. I like those last 2. Verse 2 adds a bass synth and broken metal tick stutters. While the bridge extends chorus 2 before cooling down; leading to a “yoUu goOo wIth mE bAAAABY” climax. The song advocates putting yourself out there. Zena is attached to her phone, outside her comfort zone, and tired of being alone. She asks karma what to do. But she's done with being all talk no action - she'll take the risk and won't give up. The chorus is her convincing either herself, her crush, or other introverts “yes, you're gonna like [going for] it”. Then, verse 2 is an invitation to dance. “Add hashtag to find ya” is certainly a lyric. On stage, there's a bunch of equipment boxes. Zena sits on one and the dancers wheel her around. She later leans ontop of the dancers. And the backing singers come out at the end. The LED shows a severed face with animals running through it (weird). There's also pyro during the chorus.

✓ Serbia: Nevena Božović - Kruna The only 2019 qualifier I didn't remember. “Kruna” is an ordinary Balkan Ballad with a shout-y chorus. And I thought that chorus was her crying in desperation at first, but it's actually a rooftop declaration: “Let the world hear me now / I'm guarding you with my life!” Nevena wants everyone know about her devotion to her fiance. She also says his “dear eyes” calm her down, the night is long and sad without him, she'd die to protect him, and “the crown is yours”. The lyrics aren't super deep. But Nevena's voice is powerful and she owns that stage despite being completely alone. She also wears an assortment of silver accessories and a black dress that exposes one leg. And she conjures a hologram of swirling blue water at one point. The LED, meanwhile, displays cracked ice and a splashy whirlpool. Musically, the first half of “Kruna” is driven by an acoustic guitar. There's also a fiddle and backing whispers that appear at certain points. The chorus switches to raging acoustic guitar and piano, finishing on a stop that removes the tension. The song's ending does this twice. At the midpoint, there's an electric guitar ignition that ushers in the drums and orchestral strings for the second half. Then a few piano notes lead to verse 2. And those drums pause for the next pre-chorus, leading to another ignition. The pre-chorus also switches to English. The electric guitar parts are too short though.

× Belgium: Eliot - Wake Up Just like last year, Belgium NQ's with a song similar to “City Lights”. This one even shares a songwriter. Maybe it was Eliot's timid vocal. He gives the song sensitive vulnerability though. The lyrics are open to interpretation. Eliot feels rejected and craves a connection. It keeps him up at night. He fights to have someone and won't passively wait for it. He runs into liars, so lies back out of fear. Then, in the bridge, he's ready to face them, saying he won't abuse them. As for the metaphorical “light”, it signifies change, motivation (“feeding our fire”), and hope (“saving our lives”). “Wake Up” is an atmospheric synthpop song. The verses follow a wandering, dry-air synth, with clicks and drums added midway the first time. Then the chorus changes the vibe and tempo entirely (it “wakes up”). There's a drum pound for each syllable on the catchy “I came to fight...” repetitions, followed by 4 separated keyboard notes. It's quite effective. This stumbling chorus resists the smooth windy verses. The second verse then sprints, with constant clicks this time. And the bridge escalates, then stops upon the last chorus. On stage, there's two drummers striking large upright drums. Their drumstick movements are engaging (when they raise and cross them). They also wear blue T-shirts with orange peace signs; the same colours as Eliot's jacket. And during the chorus, everyone raises their fists (drumsticks included). The overhead triangle thing moves around too. And there's a smoke puff climax.

× Georgia: Oto Nemsadze - Keep On Going “Keep On Going” certainly takes you on a journey. It feels like I'm staring the Grim Reaper in the face. It's a haunting funeral song. But it's so overly intense, serious and... creepy. The song opens with a church bell slam and weary bagpipes. Then the piano and little guitar fidgets take over, with more slams. Plus background throat chanting and orchestral strings. The pre-chorus uses twitchy snare, ground-shaking drums, and strings; escalating midway with firm clasping drums. This build-up cut offs, reducing to a heartbeat thump. Then the instruments return one by one. The beat stops again for a creepy choir chant with church bells. And the drums return for the ending. These drums are so intense. Oto's voice also becomes raspier and growlier as the song progresses; especially during that agonizing “Vaarada varada varada rada hee” bit. But ultimately, this song is one long build-up to nothing. The lyrics reference the barbed wire fence that separates South Ossetia from Georgia. Oto repeatedly says “go”; as in: Go walk. Go find the missing songs. Go follow your heart. Go cross that fence. There's a wounded singer behind the fence still singing. Singing heals each other's wounds. On stage, the LED starts with an ECG, then a line of walking silhouettes. It's mostly mountains after that. Oto walks across a dock image on the floor at one point. The camera spins around him for a bit. The choir marches forward when it's their turn, as Oto faces them. And there's hellfire flames at the end.

✓ Australia: Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity I knew Kate from “The Last Day on Earth”, a #3 hit in Australia in 2009. It's a beautiful song, but “Zero Gravity” takes a more unusual direction. The most memorable aspect is the inventive staging, where Kate and the two backing singers swing around on tall poles, as they “orbit” an Earth hologram. And the LED adds an outer space backdrop. They literally escaped gravity! Kate's tiara and sparkly white dress give snow queen vibes too. The song is equally unusual. Verse 1 follows sparse piano notes, with a subdued, anxious, rapid, bubbling beat underneath, and lingering “hey you...”'s. While verse 2 uses a jogging synth beat instead (I like when it kicks in). And the “I've been...” pre-chorus adds an angelic harp. The chorus completely halts the momentum. Twice. Kate gives an operatic “ze-E-e-E-E-Ero... gra-HA-HA-HA-vity”, guided by string jerks. It's polarizing, but it works. Then some piano slams and tense strings escalate things. Which is a tease the first time; the eventual climax is SO epic and worth the wait. The 2nd post-chorus builds up with some “and it feels like”'s and Kate's operatic flexing, culminating in a big note. Then the backing repeatedly shouts “NOTHING HOLD ME DOWN” as the drums slam down with snaps. That climax has such a freeing feeling and the wild swinging on stage really complements it. The song then speeds up at the end. The lyrics are about Kate needing to let go of someone holding her down. The pain and sadness gotta go. She couldn't open them up. And she feels cold staying there.

This year, Australia did a national final for the first time. Sheppard and Courtney Act took part, while the runner-up, Electric Fields's “2000 and Whatever”, is a massive fan favourite.

✓ Iceland: Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra Iceland breaks a 4-year NQ streak by sending one of the most “WTF” entries in Eurovision history. That's 3 strange entries in a row tonight. “Hatrið” is the epitome of “love it or hate it”. And... this is just not for me. The microphone-eating screaming vocals in the verses are downright un-listenable. The deranged baby voice in the chorus is fine though. And I kinda like the hardcore, industrial techo beat. It persists for almost the entire song, save for a couple pauses, and when the bridge offers a breather. The song opens with a body-vibrating heavy bass. Then a “HUH!” ushers in the main beat, which includes construction site metal clanging. And the chorus adds lighter euphoric synths to it. I assume the lyrics are a commentary on the rise of far right politicians (ie. “Europe will crumble”). The title translates to “Hate Will Prevail”. The song mentions unrestrained debauchery, an endless hangover, meaningless life, all-consuming emptiness, illusionary happiness, and “Multilateral delusions / Unilateral punishments”. It's very dystopian and pessimistic. And the chorus expresses vague sadness. The staging is the most “WTF” aspect though. The band wears BDSM gear. There's a giant cage with a punisher swinging a hammer back and forth ontop. There's laggy and blurry visual effects. There's welding sparks and flames. A dancer escapes the cage, looks submissive, and crawls around. The chorus singer lays upside down on the stairs at first. And he gets pulled around later.

✓ Estonia: Victor Crone - Storm I guess we need a palate cleanser after Iceland. But this sounds like a generic Melodifestivalen entry. In fact, Victor will have his own generic MF entry in 2020! “Storm” just lacks personality, and the melody and production are bland. Sure, the verses are introspective, where he keeps questioning if his approach to life is wrong. But his story isn't personal enough: he keeps fighting tides, he worries about losing it all, he misses the meaning of what remains. The chorus (and post-chorus) then promote a message of resilience with uninspired lyrics. At the end of the song, Victor questions if he's wrong about this too. Otherwise, this fusion of folk and dance music is like Avicii's “Wake Me Up”. “Storm” starts with a “content with life” acoustic guitar. Then the finger snaps and backing “woo-oo”s come in, followed by an actual thunderclap. The chorus aims to be an anthem, where it punches on each syllable of Victor shouting “STORM. LIKE. THIS.”/“MAN.LIKE.THIS.” etc. The first chorus holds back, whereas the second one builds with sawing strings. The latter is when the “drop” finally hits, which is big, energized house music with more snaps. The post-chorus continues this climax until the bridge quiets down. The song also returns to acoustic at the end. On stage, Victor plays a guitar, as the LED shows blocky clouds. He turns around a couple times so the camera can show the audience behind him. And later, he's surrounded by holograms of clouds and lightning. Cool effects.

× Portugal: Conan Osíris - Telemóveis Back to the strange entries. The staging involves unique green outfits, fake sideburns, a shirtless dancer, and squirmy dance moves. Plus dark red lighting. There's camera cuts at the start. The dancer sits on a staircase. Conan meets him up there. They walk down in unison. The dancer collapses, tiptoes, sticks his tongue out, leans back, and shoots a pretend arrow. Then Conan is dragged backwards like a marionette. The instrumental is dark and mixes elements from all over the world. It begins and ends with patient, ominous East Asian strings. As if your boat is approaching danger. There's bass booms, then the trap-y “BA BA BA” beat overtakes with relentless striking/skipping ticks and human gasps. The second verse reduces to nudges, before heightening back to the fuller sound. Then a Portuguese guitar emerges. All the above elements come and go throughout the song. They're used in various combinations. There's “HEY” pauses too. The lyrics warn against cellphone addiction. “I broke the cellphone trying to call heaven” sounds silly, but it's saying we shouldn't waste time trying to contact the dead. The “who kills who?” repetition relates to how phones give constant dopamine hits that consume us. Conan also repeats “I'll break the cellphone” if you won't respond to real life's demands. Then at the end, he reveals he's the one “who killed who”. Last year's host country can afford risks. “Telemóveis” is kinda pretentious and overhyped but the beat and dancing are interesting. I like whenever the full beat returns.

✓ Greece: Katerine Duska - Better Love Greece was also overhyped. I wasn't keen on Katerine's voice in 2019 (those “ooh ooh hoo”s in particular), but “Better Love” has grown on me since. She sounds earnest in her quest to go beyond society's made up expectations of what love is. She can't hide or fight this urge to find “better love”, which she defines as enjoying the messiness, feeling ageless, and learning carelessness. She's lost enough already. The bridge then invites the subject in, not caring what others think. And the outro repeats “What you waiting for?” many times. The song opens with tunnel voices; followed by a little bubbling sound, then finger snaps, then taps. The chorus is quite loud by contrast, with thunderous drums and claps. It also includes quivers, individual clicks, and backing “ahhhhhh”. The second verse adds splashy drums and backing “hey!”s. While the bridge switches to deep rolling drums with the claps. Katerine also gives a long note afterwards. The stage is like an 18th century royal ball. It involves pastel colours and fancy clothing. It starts with everyone frozen in place in front of this pink backdrop. Then two ballet dancers sword dance. Someone carries a giant balloon and tosses it into the audience. And the dancers twirl ribbons at the end. The backdrop also fills up with flowers and the LED shows petals. The chorus hook is kinda “blah”, but I like the song's atmosphere of supreme elegance. It fits a royal ball. It has an opening up to the world vibe too.

✓ San Marino: Serhat - Say Na Na Na San Marino's best result is surprisingly NOT “Adrenalina”, it's Serhat. The televote loved “Say Na Na Na”. It's a very upbeat song with a fun, catchy chorus. It isn't creepy like his 2016 entry. And he has fun on stage. But he can't sing... at all. The disco production is cheap. And this isn't the most essential bop. The song opens with a thin drum machine. Then the lively disco energy is pretty consistent. The verses have more modern synths. The pre-chorus submerges. The bridge has flappy drums and a call-and-response routine. And the Turkish counting includes 3 bangs. In the lyrics, Serhat notices someone who's “sad and lonely”. He asks what's wrong and why they want to run away. He also gives a bunch of advice: “who cares... it happens everyday”; “love all colours of this life”; “be a hero, be the rainbow”. He's very pushy about it, saying “look at me”, “hear me”, “call me anytime”. And the chorus repeats “say na na na” too many times. I guess singing “na na na” is meant to lift your spirits. The performance is better than the song though. It starts on the overhead camera in red lighting, as the 5 backing members look up and wiggle around, and the floor light flashes. They have very positive energy. Then we see Serhat on a platform, where the LED is used very well. It shows lyrics, flashing colours inside a box, pixelated noise, hypnotic moving lines, and white boxes rippling outward. There's a pyro blast upon the final chorus. And the two dancers next to Serhat are enjoyable.

My Ranking:

01. Slovenia: Zalagasper - Sebi ✓ 02. Australia: Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity ✓ 03. Cyprus: Tamta - Replay ✓ 04. Belgium: Eliot - Wake Up 05. Serbia: Nevena Božović - Kruna ✓ 06. Greece: Katerine Duska - Better Love ✓ 07. Hungary: Joci Pápai - Az én apám 08. Portugal: Conan Osíris - Telemóveis 09. San Marino: Serhat - Say Na Na Na ✓ 10. Belarus: Zena - Like It ✓

11. Estonia: Victor Crone - Storm ✓ 12. Poland: Tulia - Fire of Love (Pali się) 13. Finland: Darude feat. Sebastian Rejman - Look Away 14. Georgia: Oto Nemsadze - Keep On Going 15. Iceland: Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra ✓ 16. Czech Republic: Lake Malawi - Friend of a Friend ✓ 17. Montenegro: D mol - Heaven

Slim pickings here...

Lisbon 2018 – Grand Final

Host: Portugal Slogan: “All Aboard!” Participants: 43 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host

Winner: Netta - Toy Country: Israel Points: 529 (52.5% of highest score possible) Language: English

General Overview:

I kept putting off reviewing 2018 because I remembered it being a “meh” year. I was dissatisfied in the winner. Many of my faves didn't qualify. And most of the songs seemed forgettable? After all this writing, I'd still rank 2018 towards the bottom of the decade, but it's ahead of 2011 and 2017 at least. For reference, my fave contest of each decade would be: 1956, 1969, 1977, 1980, 1997, 2009, 2012 and 2021.

The opening sequence is exactly same as the two semi-finals (ie. the montage of local people and culture). But since it's the Grand Final, there is an opening act this time! It begins with someone playing a Portuguese guitar, then Ana Moura and Mariza sing some fado music. Mariza's song includes a soft-sounding marching band across the stage. The flag parade happens next, with two DJ's playing contemporary beats to soundtrack it. There's also sailors holding the flags.

Then it's the host introductions. Like I said in SF1, I enjoyed their comedy this year. I especially loved Filomena in the Green Room. And lol at the hosts insinuating that the shirtless stagehand was naked underneath the graphic. There was also a dedication to Lys Assia, who passed earlier in 2018, which was nice.

The interval isn't as bloated as other recent contests. It starts with Branko playing some tranquil dance music, featuring 4 different soloists, one at a time. First it's Sara Tavares (from the 1994 contest) holding a long note, then Plutónio raps, followed by Dino D'Santiago singing inside this silhouette visual effect, and finally Mayra Andrade is joined by dancers on the walkway. They have soothing voices. Next, there's a video on why it took Portugal 53 years to win. Then Suzy from 2014 makes a surprise appearance. And lastly, Salvador Sobral performs two songs: a piano ballad called “Mano a mano” (meh to this one), where he pounds the piano casing at one point, and a reprise of his winning song, as a duet with Caetano Veloso.

The postcards involve the artists exiting a door in places where a door shouldn't be. Like on top of a cliff or something. They aren't attached to a building. Which makes them look like portals. It's as if the artists teleported to Portugal from their home country. Upon entering Portugal, they explore the area and do an activity. Then they take a selfie, as “#AllAboard” appears on screen. Then the flag colours are displayed on a sea anemone graphic. And lastly, there's an adjustment sound to start each performance. The portal doors are what I associate with 2018, like the hallway in 2017.

The stage is designed like a gyroscope. The performance platform is the center circle, with 3 gigantic rings overhead, kind of like archways. Each ring is on a different inclination/angle. There's also a circular walkway ramp cutting through the audience that acts as the 4th ring (on a 0° angle). On either side of the stage, there is a bridge that connect to the ramp. And just like 2010, there is no LED screen. Instead, the back of the stage is constructed of wavy vertical bars.

2018 was a battle between Israel and Cyprus… but not according to the juries. They put Austria and Sweden top 2, which the public weren't as fond of. Early on, the jury vote was a tight race between those 4 countries and Germany. Then it became a battle between Israel and Austria. Then Sweden caught up with Austria. In the end, Israel won the televote, putting them way ahead of both. As for the correspondents: Sweden's Felix Sandman wore Benjamin's merch and Latvia's Dagmāra Legante made a Kanye West joke.

Ukraine: Mélovin - Under the Ladder 3rd year in a row where the SF2 closer opens the Grand Final. I did not expect the juries to rank this last.

Spain: Amaia & Alfred - Tu canción This is like the sweetest love song ever. Yeah, the couple broke up a few months later, but most relationships don't last anyways. Feelings change over time. You live in the moment, and this was how they felt in May 2018. On stage, they look smitten with their cute smiles and eye contact. The opening shot shows them standing far apart in dark lighting, while the audience's phone lights shine behind them. Then the camera spins around Alfred and zooms in on Amaia, as they trade lead vocals. Afterwards, the pair slowly walks towards each other. They hold hands, they embrace. And the camera continues spin around them at certain points. The song itself is a classy, old-fashioned, stuffy ballad. But it also has a tender, romantic texture and a very nice melody. Plus Amaia & Alfred's voices are sweet. “Tu canción” starts with slow, sparse piano notes. Said piano increases in the first chorus, where the strings sneak in. Then the second verse/chorus adds in low-key percussion and makes the strings more noticeable. While the bridge sees the instrumental quiet, then intensify, then stop upon the final chorus. Then the song finally “bursts open”. That “OHHH OHHH” build-up is very effective. I also like the “Siento que bailo…” hook. The lyrics involve Amaia & Alfred expressing their love to each other. Alfred says flying to the moon now feels real; Amaia says his voice shelters her. It's very lovey dovey.

Slovenia: Lea Sirk - Hvala, ne! “STOP THE MUSIC!”

Lithuania: Ieva Zasimauskaitė - When We're Old

Austria: Cesár Sampson - Nobody but You

Estonia: Elina Nechayeva - La forza

Norway: Alexander Rybak - That's How You Write a Song A semi-final winner placing 15th in the grand final is unexpected.

Portugal: Cláudia Pascoal - O jardim Better than the song they won with. This did not deserve last place, although 39 points is pretty high for that. I can see how “O jardim” was overlooked though – not much happens in the song. There's no big melody, no epic climax. Instead, the song's purpose is to maintain a specific mood. That mood is peaceful grieving. Isaura wrote “O jardim” about her late grandmother. The lyrics repeat the phrase “Now that you're not here, I'll water your garden”, as if this thought keeps circling in her mind. She literally takes care of her grandmother's garden to keep her memory alive. The verses don't translate to English very well, however. The music starts with slow, sad piano notes. Then this subtle anxious sound is added underneath, followed by tiny acoustic tings. Then, from 1:36-2:07, the beat switches to a series of metal spring sounds and inconsistent jittery taps. It's a cool sound and it's my favourite part. It doesn't change the mood either. This is also when Isaura comes on stage and turns “O jardim” into a duet. The ending is minimalist and like a light howl. “O jardim” is all about simplicity. Doing anything extra wouldn't work. Cláudia gives a sensitive vocal too. She seems tearful at the end. On stage, she starts in a dark silhouette. She closes her eyes. She sways a bit. There's spotlights behind her. The stage doesn't feel like it's missing anything though. I also like how Cláudia's voice jumps out at certain points.

United Kingdom: SuRie - Storm The UK is back to flopping. “Storm” is infamous for the stage invader, but the Grand Final video on YouTube replaced her performance with a rehearsal. SuRie sings this with genuine compassion for her family, but the song is bland. The chorus is 'whatever' to me, both melodically and lyrically. The “Toge-e-ether” and “sto-o-orm” hooks are weak. And the lyrics are basic. The “spread your love...” bridge is climactic though. In the verses, SuRie addresses her brother, sister, mother and father one at a time. She reminds her siblings of their childhood worldview (their fearless hopes and dreams), and says she still believes in this stuff. Then she asks her mom if she did good enough. The chorus is her reassuring they'll overcome the storm together. It's an uplifting song with a straightforward message. But it lacks depth I guess? The instrumental only grabs my attention in a few spots too. The song starts with the piano, but quickly adds foot taps, squeals, submerged quivers and finger snaps. The chorus then diminishes back to the piano, before it accelerates via heavy claps; leading the second half bulldozing through with drums and whirls. The second chorus also starts dramatically, with stomps and sawing strings instead. The bridge uses dramatic boom-claps as well. Later, the song returns to the piano before the last chorus. And the outro repeats the bridge lyric. On stage, SuRie stands at the front of a tunnel made of lit-up squares. There's also pyro upon the last chorus.

Serbia: Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - Nova deca Actually her voice is kind of annoying.

Germany: Michael Schulte - You Let Me Walk Alone The only time Germany wasn't bottom 2 during 2015-2023. All it took was a personal, sincere, down-to-Earth ballad to reach top 5. That's how Ireland kept winning! But it sounds like an Ed Sheeran ballad, and I don't like Ed Sheeran (I also hear Adele's “Someone Like You”). The “1-2-3” hook (“1 love / 2 hearts / 3 kids”) is kinda annoying too. And the lyrics are messy. In the song, Michael reflects on growing up without his father, who passed away when Michael was young. However, the wording of “one love”, “loving mum” and “You let me walk this road alone” makes it sound like his father chose to abandon him. There's no mention of a “loving dad”. Still, if this were written in another language, would I even notice? Lines like “I was told that you were too” and “My childhood hero will always be you” still get to me. He sees his father in himself. He misses his father when he needs guidance. His dad provided protection and wisdom. Musically, the verses follow a quick back-and-forth piano. Then the piano is more pronounced in the chorus. The strings come in later. There's an “oh oh oh” bridge. Plus some crashes towards the end. And the drums enter to carry the final chorus. I'm not crazy about this arrangement, but I don't mind the “every now and then” hook. The stage starts darkly lit. Then, a semi-circle LED screen acts as a lyric video behind Michael. It also shows family photos, which really pulls at the heartstrings. And there's hypnotic images during the bridge.

Albania: Eugent Bushpepa - Mall

France: Madame Monsieur - Mercy France is my #2 again! “Mercy” tells the harrowing, but fortunate, story of Nigerian refugee Taiwo Yussif giving birth on a rescue ship. She named the baby “Mercy”. The title is play on words, since “merci” means “thank you” in French. The lyrics are from the POV of the baby. She recounts how her mother fled the war at home. They had nothing to lose. The sea (or “blue immensity”) became the enemy. She was lucky to even be born (“They offered me a hand / And I'm alive”). The song addresses how not every refugee has a happy ending like this. Many of them don't make it. The title implies they deserve mercy. The instrumental and Émilie's voice capture the mood of this situation well. It's a bleak and distressed vibe, but with a message of perseverance. The song starts with minuscule guitar plucks and finger snaps, followed by some cowbell(?). Then a snap-shut transition starts the chorus, which has a fuller sound, and includes distorted cry responses and some “pippity pips” appearing midway. The chorus has a great melody too. The song later quiets for the bridge. And the outro repeats a chant of “merci, merci”, as the duo pushes their hands forward, and the audience joins in. Maybe they could've done something more with the stage though. They're dressed in funeral black. They walk forward in unison. The camera follows her across the stage bridge. And they're on the audience ramp for the “merci, merci” chant. But it needed something more.

Czech Republic: Mikolas Josef - Lie to Me HE DID THE FLIP!!

Denmark: Rasmussen - Higher Ground It's just missing something to make my top 10.

Australia: Jessica Mauboy - We Got Love This could've been an anthem.

Finland: Saara Aalto - Monsters A borderline qualifier that flopped in the final.

Bulgaria: Equinox - Bones

Moldova: DoReDoS - My Lucky Day

Sweden: Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance You Off “With 21 points... Sweden”

Hungary: AWS - Viszlát nyár I think he screams even more in the final.

Israel: Netta - Toy (winner review below)

Netherlands: Waylon - Outlaw in 'Em

Ireland: Ryan O'Shaughnessy - Together

Cyprus: Eleni Foureira - Fuego

Italy: Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - Non mi avete fatto niente I was puzzled by the 249 televote points... until I realized “Non mi” references several, then-recent, terrorist attacks (Cairo churches, La Rambla Street, 2015 Paris attacks, London Bridge, the truck in Nice). Plus 9/11 “skyscrapers” and 7/7 “subways”. Most of these happened in Eurovision countries. It must've struck a chord. The lyrics are also displayed in various languages so viewers can understand them, along with faces in the fonts. The chorus is an emphatic “You did nothing to me”, saying the terrorists didn't win. Life continues. It's just “pointless wars”. The song doesn't hide the horrific reality either: “blood in the sewer”; “arms without hands”; “mothers without children”. It also finds commonality in religions, dismisses racism, and says mass murder isn't a valid belief. And that “the smile of a child” shows resilience. This is a wordy, lyrically dense song. The duo sings SO quickly to cram everything in that it makes the melody ineffective, despite the up-and-down pattern. I also dislike Fabrizio's hoarse screams at the end, even if it expresses fury. Ermal wails after the bridge too. The instrumental is restless though. It starts with a twinkly guitar and light stomps, then light jingles. There's some slam-downs in the first chorus. Then the second verse increases the tempo into a folksy scared running drum beat. There's some guitar wails later. And the bridge quiets down when they walk to separate bridges. “Non mi” has a strong message and it isn't a cheesy peace song; but it's just not something I seek out much.

The Winner:

Israel achieves their 4th win, exactly 20 years after their 3rd... which was exactly 20 years after their 1st. I guess they'll win again in 2038? Between “Diva” and “Toy”, Israel's results were all over the place: 4 top 10s, 6 NQs, and several times in the bottom half of the scoreboard. The juries ranked “Toy” 3rd, but Netta's 317 televote points were more than enough. Weirdly, the semi-final was the opposite, where the juries were more favourable than the public.

This is an annoying song, but the chicken noises make it worse. “Toy” starts a cappella, with Netta making a bunch of strange mouth sounds (“*bird trill*, ouch, hey!, hm, la!”). Then the backing comes in and she starts clucking like a chicken. This irritating intro lasts for 20+ seconds. It's such a “WTF” moment. It makes for a memorable first impression, but it turns “Toy” into a borderline joke entry. Once the instrumental starts, there's some “Ethnic pop” elements. Verse 1 contains casual hand drums, bass stomps that stop every few seconds, and a couple short jerks. Then the pre-chorus diminishes to a soft synth, before building up with beeps and a squeaky sound, as Netta clucks again. Then the chorus roars and bulldozes through (with more beeps), followed by a string-y post-chorus that rolls around, where the backing shouts “CULULUU”. Those “CULULUU”s are almost as irritating as the chicken noises. This is a weird criticism, but the chorus sounds too much like a Eurovision song. I get bored of it. The second verse starts with video game pew-pews. Then the bridge interrupts the second chorus, leading to a big vocal note on “BOYYYYY”, which transitions to the next string-y bit. The song pulls back again partway through the last chorus. And Netta finishes on another big note (“TOYYYYY”). The song is vengeful and in-your-face and Netta brings attitude and personality. The backing responses of “not your toy/stupid boy” are catchy too.

But the message is hard to take seriously when it's communicated in such a silly way. The lyrics were inspired by the #MeToo movement (“I'll take you down now!”), where Netta rejects being a man's toy, calling him a “stupid boy”. Her vocal has a bratty, ridiculing, and immature tone. She says the boys are too loud and forgot how to play the game. She doesn't care about their money or the “modern-time preachers”. And she makes chicken noises to insinuate he's a coward (like when someone goes “bawk bawk bawk”). The lyrics also mention childhood interests – teddy bear, Barbie, Simon Says, Pikachu, dolls, Wonder Woman – which adds a darker layer to this. The narrator sounds like a little girl. “You're stupid just like your smart.. PHONE!” is a funny line though. There's even a smartphone ding during it. “My Simon Says 'leave me alone'” is clever too, with respecting consent. And “Barbie got something to say” challenges the Barbie stereotypes. There's also a couple Hebrew phrases (“ani lo buba” and “stefa”) and the Japanese word “Baka” (stupid person). But I also think “On the MadaBaka beat” is a censored version of “MF-ing beat”. Apparently “Trump-pam-pau” is a Trump reference too. The lyrics say a lot... in the verses anyways. “Stupid boy” is a childish insult.

On stage, Netta is dressed in a kimono, with two bookcases full of golden cat figurines wagging their tails behind her. She also uses this touch pad thing, which spells the word “H-E-Y”. Meanwhile, the camera will cut to the 3 backing dancers making funny poses and dance moves. They start on the stage bridge, but join Netta later on. And everyone is on the audience ramp at the end. They also flap their arms like a chicken during the clucking. And there's some pyro for the first chorus. The dancers are funny at least.

Ultimately, this, “I Wanna” and “Hard Rock Hallelujah” are the closest to a novelty song winning. I don't think this is what Salvador had in mind during his winning speech... it must've been awkward to hand Netta the trophy. Also, Jack White was later added as a songwriter for similarities to “Seven Nation Army”... I don't hear it.

Verdict: “D” Tier. Catchy but everything about this is annoying.

My Ranking:

Grand Final: 01. Cyprus: Eleni Foureira - Fuego 02. France: Madame Monsieur - Mercy 03. Estonia: Elina Nechayeva - La forza 04. Slovenia: Lea Sirk - Hvala, ne! 05. Austria: Cesár Sampson - Nobody but You 06. Portugal: Cláudia Pascoal - O jardim 07. Moldova: DoReDoS - My Lucky Day 08. Lithuania: Ieva Zasimauskaitė - When We're Old 09. Denmark: Rasmussen - Higher Ground 10. Czech Republic: Mikolas Josef - Lie to Me

11. Ukraine: Mélovin - Under the Ladder 12. Australia: Jessica Mauboy - We Got Love 13. Finland: Saara Aalto - Monsters 14. Germany: Michael Schulte - You Let Me Walk Alone 15. Sweden: Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance You Off 16. Serbia: Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - Nova deca 17. Spain: Amaia & Alfred - Tu canción 18. Bulgaria: Equinox - Bones 19. Italy: Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - Non mi avete fatto niente 20. Israel: Netta - Toy 21. United Kingdom: SuRie - Storm 22. Ireland: Ryan O'Shaughnessy - Together 23. Netherlands: Waylon - Outlaw in 'Em 24. Albania: Eugent Bushpepa - Mall 25. Hungary: AWS - Viszlát nyár 26. Norway: Alexander Rybak - That's How You Write a Song

Full Ranking: 01. Cyprus: Eleni Foureira - Fuego 02. France: Madame Monsieur - Mercy 03. Estonia: Elina Nechayeva - La forza 04. Switzerland: Zibbz - Stones 05. Slovenia: Lea Sirk - Hvala, ne! 06. Austria: Cesár Sampson - Nobody but You 07. Belgium: Sennek - A Matter of Time 08. Armenia: Sevak Khanagyan - Qami 09. Latvia: Laura Rizzotto - Funny Girl 10. Portugal: Cláudia Pascoal - O jardim 11. Moldova: DoReDoS - My Lucky Day 12. Lithuania: Ieva Zasimauskaitė - When We're Old 13. Denmark: Rasmussen - Higher Ground 14. Malta: Christabelle - Taboo 15. Czech Republic: Mikolas Josef - Lie to Me 16. Ukraine: Mélovin - Under the Ladder 17. F.Y.R. Macedonia: Eye Cue - Lost and Found 18. Greece: Yianna Terzi - Oniro mou 19. Poland: Gromee feat. Lukas Meijer - Light Me Up 20. Australia: Jessica Mauboy - We Got Love 21. Finland: Saara Aalto - Monsters 22. Germany: Michael Schulte - You Let Me Walk Alone 23. Croatia: Franka - Crazy 24. Sweden: Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance You Off 25. Serbia: Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - Nova deca 26. Spain: Amaia & Alfred - Tu canción 27. Bulgaria: Equinox - Bones 28. Belarus: Alekseev - Forever 29. Italy: Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - Non mi avete fatto niente 30. Israel: Netta - Toy 31. San Marino: Jessika feat. Jenifer Brening - Who We Are 32. Azerbaijan: Aisel - X My Heart 33. United Kingdom: SuRie - Storm 34. Ireland: Ryan O'Shaughnessy - Together 35. Montenegro: Vanja Radovanović - Inje 36. Netherlands: Waylon - Outlaw in 'Em 37. Romania: The Humans - Goodbye 38. Albania: Eugent Bushpepa - Mall 39. Russia: Julia Samoylova - I Won't Break 40. Hungary: AWS - Viszlát nyár 41. Norway: Alexander Rybak - That's How You Write a Song 42. Iceland: Ari Ólafsson - Our Choice 43. Georgia: Ethno-Jazz Band Iriao - For You

Lisbon 2018 – Semi-Final 2

Host: Portugal Slogan: “All Aboard!” Participants: 43 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host

General Overview:

The opening sequence of SF2 is exactly the same as SF1. And once again, the show segues immediately into the host introductions without any opening performances.

The hosting team continues to provide comedic dialogue, with tonight's best joke being the “Ola” one.

The interval starts with part 2 of the ESC Encyclopedia. Then the 4 hosts dance to a medley of iconic Eurovision songs, including a “Making Your Mind Up” role reversal, and Filomena reluctantly reenacting the “Euphoria” choreo (that one was funny). Next, there's a blooper reel from filming the postcards, which is cute. Then it's part 2 of the “David Attenburger” skit (ugh). And finally, there's a short documentary explaining how Portugal's 1974 entry sparked political change in their country. I liked that they shared this piece of their history with the world.

As for the results... they're pretty chaotic here. There was very little consensus between the juries and the public. The overall winner of SF2 is Norway, despite placing 2nd with the juries and 3rd in the televote. Instead, the jury winner is Sweden and the televote champion is Denmark, which the juries didn't even rank in their top 10 (WTF?!) Besides Denmark, the public also saved Serbia and Hungary. Which means THREE of the “jury qualifiers” didn't make it. Those would be Romania, Latvia, and Malta. Not only that, Malta was DEAD LAST in the televote. Below Georgia. On the flip side, the juries saved the Netherlands at the expense of Poland.

Additionally; Azerbaijan, Romania and Russia all NQ for the first time. Which means only Ukraine and Australia (for now) remain with perfect qualification records. This is a good thing for the integrity of the contest. No country should be able to get away with sending literally anything and still qualify.

✓ Norway: Alexander Rybak - That's How You Write a Song “Fairytale” gave me goosebumps... “That's How...” is just annoying and cringe. It's basically a sequel to “Love Love Peace Peace” (since Rybak made a cameo in that), but with sincere writing instructions this time. Here, he suggests jotting your ideas down to get started. I mean, that is the hardest part. But the lyrics are too cliché to be useful: Find your rhythm! Enjoy the small things! Find your mission! Work your magic! Not to mention his 2-step guide of “Believe in it” and “Just roll with it”, which aren't really steps. It's a thin concept. So thin that the song throws in a scatting break, an obligatory violin solo, and 6 choruses to fill time. The instrumental is beyond irritating too, ESPECIALLY the recurring 'da-da-da; da-da-da; da-da-da-da-DAH!' riffs and guitar scrambles. The song begins with a brief violin. Then the guitar and drums take over, creating a funky strutting rhythm. The “get big” line also has a lunging effect. Next, the “step 1” part switches to a stop/start motor. The scatting part reduces to just claps, leading to kicking drums. The violin solo adds motor bursts for dramatic effect. The beat pauses again after the violin. And the beat intensifies towards the end. Moreover, Rybak comes off smarmy on stage. He's trying TOO hard to be a charismatic goofball. The air violin / drums / etc (with the chalky animations) are cringe too. The animated objects on screen are unnecessary in general. This is the kind of song I don't want stuck in my head. It's too jaunty and kinda disjointed?

× Romania: The Humans - Goodbye Romania's first NQ, and they've been struggling ever since, aside from WRS. Maybe “Goodbye” was too serious. In the verses, the narrator is ready to take their own life. They tried to overcome it. They kept their battles a secret. While the chorus is the voice of someone trying to stop them. Singer Cristina sounds sincere, and the song has good intentions. But this friend lacks understanding or empathy. The wording of “Why can't you...” and “...by the way is all for free” sounds frustrated, and assumes it's an easy choice to be happy, when it's not. The melody isn't that catchy either – the chorus is too wordy and the verses are too stationary. The latter uses depressive short phrases and long pauses. The staging is confusingly abstract too. There's several mannequins in white masks to represent identity loss. The performance begins with the cellist removing her mask and walking away. Then the two guitarists (with their masks on backwards) switch potions around Cristina. They touch her, they push her backwards, they put her in the middle of a guitar jam. Then she wanders around the mannequins. Then they all reach out to the cellist. The instrumental channels '90s soft rock, but it isn't anything special. The verses are a generic piano ballad, with a cello appearing midway. The chorus is very different. It kicks off with a big vocal note and a pent-up, Coldplay-like release of rock guitars (I like this part). And it waits a moment before the chorus lyrics start.

✓ Serbia: Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - Nova deca RIP Sanja. “Nova deca” is missing something though. The intro lasts nearly a minute! It begins with a traditional flute and a thump, followed by mystical, otherworldly folk chanting that carries across the land. I love the windy, stuck-in-the-moment, mountaintop atmosphere of it. But the syllables are so stretched out. Eventually, the “tribal” drums arrive to power the rest of the song. The chorus, which swoops in during this transition, switches to a male vocalist, making the contrast apparent. The drums patter in the first chorus, with a bit of flute. Then the drums speed up in the second verse, which also inserts some unexpected 2011 blunt dance synths. This allows the second chorus to glide. Later, the bridge goes into a “na na ney” bit with rubbery drums, leading to a brief beat pause. However, I find the chorus melody underwhelming. And I get sick of the persistent chanting by the end. Lyrically, “Nova deca” is about how “new children create a better world with us”. The verses ask for rest, mention regret, and wish to create a better world for the kids. While the chorus describes the effect this person has on the narrator. The stage direction is professional too, with the arm movements in the intro, the bald guy hiding behind the women, the lead singers reaching in opposite directions, the arms across the chest gesture, and the group separating upon the second chorus. There's just something about their positioning on stage.

× San Marino: Jessika feat. Jenifer Brening - Who We Are This just sounds like a first draft. Jessika's message seems sincere, but the production is dated, the lyrics are generic, the mini robots are confusing, and the rap verse is corny. “UH, LISTEN UP, LISTEN UP, IT'S ME JENNY B!”; “If they dissin' you on Twitter / Don't get sad, don't be bitter!” 💀 That rap verse comes out of nowhere too. “Who We Are” is a defiant, loving yourself empowerment anthem to stand up to the bullies. Jessika mentions a bullied, lonely childhood. No one told her to be proud of her differences. So she put on a show. But now she stands tall. She uses the “we” pronoun to relate to the listener. But that “We... are who we are.... and who we are... is who we wanna be!” lyric is so empty. And the chorus is mostly cliches. The “AND WE'LL BE RISING WHEN WE FALL” hook is effective though. Musically, the song opens with downpouring dull taps. Then the first verse tries to be quirky, with air slices and glitchy echoing pops, plus broken metal ticks midway. While the pre-chorus switches to heavy strings. But the chorus feels underdeveloped. It goes for a suspended effect and a fist-raising vibe, but it's just generic pop-rock. Next, the bridge quiets to a piano. And Jenny B ad libs in the back half. On stage, there's 4 dancing robots. One of them holds a card saying “sometimes”, which later flips to “size doesn't matter”, while giving two middle fingers. Jessika is also confronted by two muscly dancers at the start (to represent the bullies?) Jessika's vocals aren't the best either.

✓ Denmark: Rasmussen - Higher Ground I can see how this stood out. “Higher Ground” is inspired by Denmark's Viking history. The stage involves 5 bearded men standing next to two large ship sails, with a blowing snow effect during the key change. And a fun marching sequence during the Icelandic chant. All that's missing is the helmets. The lyrics initially romanticize this era of leaving home to conquer distant shores. But the “Yet victory won't prevail” line shatters the fantasy. Vikings were violent. The message is that violence is not the answer (ie. take the “higher ground”). The group even waves a white flag of surrender at the end. But the song isn't taken too seriously either. The only issue I have is the low vocals. The pop chorus is catchy though. The harmonies really elevate it. They even throw in some “OH OH OH”s for good measure. Musically, the song opens with a sawing, buzzing, distortion warning. Then the verse uses this ominous ghostly background, paired with a slithering synth, then some strings. Next, the forceful stomping drums (+ “HA HA”) announce the crew's arrival during the chorus. That chorus has an adventurous sailing against the waves vibe. The stomps are weaker in the second verse then disappear. Then the beat stops before key change. And the final chorus adds victory horns. I also like the synth in the Icelandic chant. Otherwise, the way the group stands together is effective. Same with their arm gestures, the marching, and Rasmussen entering in a hazy filter.

× Russia: Julia Samoylova - I Won't Break #StandWithUkraine

Russia gives Julia a second chance after being DQ'ed in 2017... with a song destined to NQ. Was this a ploy to play the victim? My low ranking has nothing to do with the politics though... “I Won't Break” is just a bland generic ballad and Julia's vocals aren't that good. The poor thing sounds like she started learning English a week ago. She even forgets to sing at one point. And why are her eyes closed so much? The instrumental is so anonymous and indistinct as well. It kinda reminds me of Sia's “Chandelier”. The song starts with some sparse, “at peace” piano notes. Then the bucket ticking comes in. The verses have slight ice synths too. The chorus, meanwhile, sees the percussion explode, as the backing shouts “I WON'T BREA-A-A-A-AK”. But when I hear the chorus all I think is “...that's it?”. The hook and explosive percussion are so basic and “blah”. The “even in the darkness...” bit is okay though. The final chorus then adds a siren-y transition. The lyrics are a cliche word salad (“when it comes to emotions/from the deepest of oceans”!) The song is about how Julia will be emotionally strong from now on. Her sandcastle turned to stone. Her broken wings are soaring with kings and queens... sure. The staging is similar to Estonia, with some swirling colours on this volcano structure Julia sits on. The two dancers are engaging though. I like their moves on the walkway. “Flame Is Burning” was better but not by much.

✓ Moldova: DoReDoS - My Lucky Day Such inventive and brilliant staging! It's like a comedic skit. The trio each has a lookalike – in matching blue, yellow or red – standing behind a wall of split doors that are continuously opened and closed. There's cartoon-like door chases; an illusion of yellow girl being split in 3; the rear feet and front feet dancing together; the 3 heads poking above the wall; and legs walking vertically. Then at the end, the lookalikes join the others out front. The coordination is impressive. “My Lucky Day” is a love triangle involving secrets, temptation, and relationship uncertainty. But with a lighthearted tone. It's also ambiguous who's “number 1” or “number 2”. And I assume “make some music” = sex. Blue guy sings verse 1, while yellow girl and red guy cheat behind him. Then the men switch roles for verse 2. Yellow girl also jumps in for the pre-chorus, boosting the “something tells me...” hook. The “NUMBER ONE” bit sticks out too. The song itself seems less popular, but it's catchy, and the folksy horns add a Moldovan party flair. The chorus is kinda monotonous though. The song kicks off with a “heyyyy-YA!” Then a flurry of horns (with metal drums) appears before each verse/outro. The verses have a bouncy, horn hopping rhythm that never touches the ground (+ a brief fiddle). There's a launching sound before the chorus. Then the chorus adds a rattling drum. I dislike the “la da di dum da da” ending though. It's a kitschy song, but their physical acting is so funny. I prefer this to “Hey Mamma”.

✓ Netherlands: Waylon - Outlaw in 'Em Waylon of the Common Linnets returns as a solo artist. He brings another country song, but a wild one compared to the cathartic “Calm After the Storm”. The chorus is quite annoying though. I also hate the “OW!” ending. The backing dancers/musicians are overly energetic too. It looks like they're Kung-Fu Fighting at one point? They also bang their heads together with one foot on Waylon's platform. They toss their guitars. And they run and do flips at the end. The song's message is that we all have it in us to fight back. The chorus uses specific Wild West imagery - chrome pieces, blacked out denim, scarred up knuckles, bloody boots, rattlesnake venom. Plus Stone Cold and Mick Jagger references later on. It makes me think of a saloon brawl (the “lock and load” line implies pistols). The lyrics also call whisky a miracle drink. Musically, the song is driven by a country electric guitar and a foot-stomping drum beat. There's also a zigzagging guitar riff before each verse. And the guitar “locks and loads” after that lyric. The chorus is more guitar-heavy compared to the verses. The first chorus also stops the music on the last line. And the last chorus “drops down” at first. The song sounds like it's ready to get up and fight. There's an eagerness to it. But “Outlaw in 'Em” doesn't excite me much. It's not my preferred genre. I'm not that into Waylon's voice. And the song feels like a parody? Idk.

✓ Australia: Jessica Mauboy - We Got Love Australia's first time missing the top 10. Jessica brings passion and vocals to this, but the song is basic and the stage is empty. There's some pyro in the finale, but that's it. She mostly twirls her arm, shakes her hips, and points. It's lazy staging. And it's awkward when she gets the audience to sing along. This is the third Aussie entry in a row produced by DNA Songs. Their productions are kinda generic, BUT I'm a sucker for dramatic percussion. I also like the lingering “why...”s and “I know...”s. The song starts with a humming bass-line. Then, suddenly, a thunder-striking drum awakens the arena. Now the verses follow a piano note –> rattle shake pattern (with taps). There's another thunder strike. Then the percussion-heavy chorus arrives – with euphoric keyboard, surface-echoing strikes, and tambourine shakes - and heightens midway. Verse 2 adds a clappy beat midway. There's a “tribal” drum breakdown for the bridge. And the beat pauses before the last chorus. The verse lyrics are hesitant incomplete thoughts (until the 2nd half of verse 2). Jessica asks why we keep falling into destructive mindsets: the need to be somebody else, the “won't make a difference” attitude, the fighting over material trivial things. She pleads to not give up despite feeling powerless. Why? “Cuz we got love”! That's an unoriginal message for Eurovision. Still, the percussion and vocals give a determined / persistent vibe. Also of note: Jessica was an interval act in 2014 and the runner-up of Australian Idol 2006.

× Georgia: Ethno-Jazz Band Iriao - For You The last placed entry of SF2. Unsurprising, since “For You” is EXCRUIATINGLY boring. Yeah, this classical, old fashioned music/vocal style doesn't appeal to me anyways. But the melody is so slow and forgettable. The song has no energy. And the vocals are like listening to a dishwasher or something. It's white noise. The song makes me feel nothing. That fire rain finale is so undeserved. There's no chorus either. Instead, the song intensifies and releases tension a couple times, but in a tedious way? It takes so long to get there too. “For You” starts as a serene piano ballad. Then it adds in sparse metal pan ticks, followed by a rattling sound. These instrumental quirks are too subtle though. The strings come next. Then the vocals grow until the tension snaps off. After that, the song quiets to a heartbeat thump. Then it builds again into this “tribal” drum + vocal chanting bit (which is the only listenable part). Meanwhile, the 3 singers use harmonizing tricks. The lyrical message is about putting others ahead of yourself (“you only own what you share”). The band wishes for the snow to melt to warm up a cold person. They mention finding joy in other people's happiness. And advise understanding, sharing, selflessness, kindness. I assume this is their definition of love.

× Poland: Gromee feat. Lukas Meijer - Light Me Up This begins an NQ streak for Poland lasting until “River”. I blame Gromee's snake/wavy hands during the “drop”. It looks silly. And was that motion blur necessary? The song is basically a generic 2012 David Guetta track. But it has an uplifting vibe and I like the squawky distortion “drop”. I just wish the “LIGHT ME UP, LIGHT ME UP, MY BABY” refrain and the “OH OH OH OH” build-up weren't so generic-sounding. The chorus lyrics don't say a whole lot. But it's catchy! Lukas's voice conveys innocent anticipation as well. The first verse describes his reactions after asking someone out – he feels weak, he can't breathe, the decision haunts him. While the second verse says “they” told him to leave (security? parents? friends?) He then urges this person to “light me up” (ie. ignite his full feelings). The song captures Lukas's “in the moment” thoughts. He put himself out there, now he's waiting for a response. I don't think he's pushy, just hopeful. Musically, the first verse is easygoing, with light guitar and keyboards. The chorus is a noticeable contrast to this – it increases the tempo via excited piano EDM, followed by a beat acceleration towards the “drop”. The second verse then adds bass-y dance synths. And the second chorus starts with an acoustic guitar instead. Both verses end with feedback too. There's also pyro during the “drops”. And Lukas runs to the audience at the end to hype them with “JUMP!” and “1, 2, 3, 4”.

× Malta: Christabelle - Taboo 5th with the juries… last with the public. Maybe “Taboo” had too much going on? The song sounds mechanical. Plus, the dubstep breakdown is dated, the lyrics use weird phrasing, and the chorus hook feels incomplete. Still, the dubstep adds a darker unhinged moment. And the chorus is catchy, with the “LET OUR GUARDS DOWN” shout and the “animals animals” stutter. In the song, Christabelle declares “it's time to break the taboo” on talking about mental health. If we keep it bottled up, we'll become destructive animals or criminals. She mentions enjoying the silence, feeling cold at home, insomnia, crippling demons, finding comfort in misery, and how our struggles seem foreign to others. The production is dark and complex. It opens with a metal screech. Then a throbbing bass-line drives the verse, with vocal squeals, and a clacking heartbeat drum midway. The first chorus retreats to radiating bass, followed by snaps and a clappy build-up. But the song doesn't take off just yet. The second verse adds firm drums and cold sounds, followed by metal tick shivers. Then the clappy build-up resumes, there's a beat acceleration, a glitchy rip, and finally a skating synth peak. The deranged dubstep breakdown follows this. Then the song rests, there's a glitchy vomit, and the skating synth returns. The stage is futuristic. It involves 4 LED pillars, where Christabelle stands in the middle at first. Then during the dubstep, there's a Sia video dancer. There's also strobe lights, pyro, anatomical heart and globe animations, and a screen shatter effect.

✓ Hungary: AWS - Viszlát nyár RIP Örs. “Viszlát nyár” is the kind of song you'll either love or hate. It's not often we a see SUCH a hard rock song in Eurovision. I can appreciate that on some level. AWS comes across as a genuine rock band and Örs has good stage presence. He throws raw emotion in this performance. But I just find screamo unpleasant. I can't even get through the last minute of this. The song jumps into the heavy metal electric guitars and machine-gun drums immediately. That intro makes a bold first impression. While the verses/bridge offer a respite from the song's high-adrenaline energy. Those verses/bridge sound like an empty tunnel or cave. The first one also includes echoing snowy footsteps, as more neutral drums come in midway. The heavy metal instruments then return for the chorus, where Örs switches to screaming and the stage flames go crazy. He also tears his throat apart from the end of the 2nd chorus onward. And the bridge exits the tunnel/cave via an extremely aggressive guitar, followed by a guitar respite moment and a key change. The lyrics are about Örs's dead father. I believe the verses are from the father's perspective – he's being brutally honest, he has to leave, and he says he'll live on in his son's memory if the son wishes. While the chorus is an angry FU. The dad wasn't there, it's too late now, and Örs wants back what the dad stole. The song addresses the ugly feelings of mourning a family member you had a bad relationship with.

× Latvia: Laura Rizzotto - Funny Girl Belgium/Croatia/Latvia are the lounge music NQ trio of 2018. I can see how “Funny Girl” didn't grab the public's attention. The song's pacing is a little slow. But it captures the feeling of embarrassment well. Laura made her crush laugh. She caught feelings. She felt comfortable being vulnerable. But then she saw them with another girl. Now Laura is the butt of the joke. She was “just” the funny girl and meant nothing more. The first verse keeps asking “ain't it funny”, while the second wonders if they even notice her reaction, since she's kept her feelings secret; implying this song is her confession. The bridge is pure desperation, where Laura promises she's the perfect mate. I like how the chorus has this heart-sinking feeling. This is when reality hits Laura (“you're looking at her... she's looking at you...”) Most of the song is driven by these spread-out, splashing percussion clacks. The first verse has a screech midway, followed by slicing bass thumps. The pre-chorus further adds string plucks. Meanwhile, the chorus adds cello roars between the clacks, along with muffled bits. The second verse adds metal tick rolls to the clacks and bass thumps. The bridge doesn't deviate much, but adds a light cymbal. On stage, Laura performs alone in a red dress set against red lighting, with jerky camera zooms and a neck snap. Those red lights intensify a lot. Laura has great stage presence too. She feels the song through her body movements.

✓ Sweden: Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance You Off The public rejected this jury fave! I have no issues with the song– it's catchy and breezy. My issue is Benjamin's smarmy performance. He is way too eager to please. His attempts at being charming and flirtatious do not work. The head nods, the smiles, the “HUH”s... just UGH! I like the stage design though. It involves flashing red and white (and later blue) horizontal bars of light behind Benjamin, set against a pitch black background. It creates the illusion of not being in the arena (until the contraption is shown). It's as if headlights and taillights are speeding past the city street, as Benjamin dances outside the club. His choreo seems over-rehearsed though: he gyrates his hips, motions with his arm, opens his legs, twirls and walks across. He also sounds like a dick in the lyrics. The song is simply about dancing to get over someone. Benjamin doesn't care if she disapproves or still wants him (“don't you dare wait up”!) While the second verse claims she was the problem. Still, the “dan-dan-dance you off” stutter is memorable. The “pressure” and “treasure” echoes are effective, as is the “And I” continuation. And the production is professional. It has a chill nighttime vibe. The song opens with relaxed boops, then snaps. While the chorus brings in the funky bass-line, with some clasps, and it heightens midway. The second verse then waits a little to bring back the bass and clasps. And the bridge is very Daft Punk. The beat also stops before each chorus (on the “forget ya” echo).

The Melfest 2018 runner-up, Felix Sandman's “Every Single Day”, would've been a better winner. My other faves that year were “For You”, “Shuffla” and “Last Breath”. Also of note: John Lundvik makes the final one year before his eventual win, just like Benjamin and Robin B just did.

× Montenegro: Vanja Radovanović - Inje Montenegro tries a Balkan Ballad again, since that's all they ever qualified with. But unlike “Moj svijet” and “Adio”, this one is just boring and forgettable. I tried to recall the melody and “Adio” played in my head instead 💀. The instrumental is way too serious on “Inje”. It intensifies as it progresses. But it's missing the smooth ambience and epic payoff of the Željko Joksimović entries. It needs more traditional instruments too. The song opens with a piano tickle and an ominous thud. Then the first stanza sticks to the piano. The hand drums enter next. Then the strings grow, the cymbals crash and there's a back-and-forth pounding intense harmony thing on “DO-OO-SHOO-OO-BEEEE-YAAAA”. The tension breaks, the song quiets down. Then it builds back up with strings and a snare drum, leading to sawing strings and a sneering “HA-AH-AH-AH” from the backing. Then the drums push the final chorus, the church bells ring, and the song ends with a bang. It's tiring. The title translates to “Frost”, where Vanja's relationship has frozen over. His lover's heart is a “dying ember”. It's frozen in summer when it should be warm. He trembles. The quilt can't warm him up. The days drag by. He secretly wants them back. He calls the heart a “treasured pet” (sure?) On stage, Vanja and the 4 backing singers look serious, but the staging isn't that memorable either.

✓ Slovenia: Lea Sirk - Hvala, ne! I love this quirky trap beat! The fake power failure was a really bad idea though. Especially when it happens again in the final, so you know it's fake. It's just so awkward and stops the song's momentum. But it only lasts a few seconds. “Hvala, ne!” is full of badass attitude regardless. The intro is like an accelerating ping pong ball striking a table that comes into focus; along with this strange machine noise. Then the trap beat skips along in the verses, with bass vibrations. The beat stops in the chorus, which uses a humming synth instead. Then the “Hvala, ne!” + “OH OH OH OH” “drop” returns the trap beat. While the second verse brings back the strange machine noises. The second chorus and bridge then add a beat acceleration. The power cut happens where the second “drop” is supposed to be. And the bridge is synth-ier and has a nice build-up. I believe the song is about the beauty product industry? Lea doesn't want any part of it. Her “new look” is smiles and freedom. The lyrics mention “virtual tricks”, and advise against believing offers and selling one's soul. Lea also refuses to sell-out (“true art cannot have a price tag”). But not in a pretentious way, she has fun with the song. The title translates to “No Thanks!” and Lea delivers it in a defiant way. She also asserts her name in first line. The choreo is fierce too. I like when they all lean together. And the arm thing during the intro. There's lots of flashing lights too. And Lea has good stage presence.

✓ Ukraine: Mélovin - Under the Ladder It's good, but the “OH OH OH OH OH… YEAH” hook doesn't quite do it for me. And this song relies heavily on those “OH OH OH”s. The staging is memorable though. It involves Mélovin dressed as a vampire (including eye contacts). During the opening verse, the camera shows him laying down inside a partially boarded-up coffin in red light. Then a lever slowly, creepily pushes him upright. That coffin also happens to be a grand piano, which he plays later on. At the end, the staircase goes up in flames, with more flames in the background. That image + the closing piano notes makes this the perfect semi-final closer. The lyrics are vague (“Curtains down, I'm laughing at the trial”), but “Under the Ladder” is about risking failure and facing fears to reach success. The title alludes to the famous superstition. It's all about willpower. It won't get any better! It's now or never! The decision has got to be made! The chorus captures this feeling of urgency, pressure and anxiety – it's so frantic with the slapping, running drum beat. I also like the eerie chorus transition. The song opens with a faint siren and a thump. Then the first verse uses minimal ominous sounds. The energetic chorus creates a noticeable contrast to this. While the second verse, after waiting a second, adds a smaller running beat (via a buzzy transition). The second chorus finishes on a piano riff. Then the song rests. The final chorus jumps back into it. And the piano finale is like Mélovin jumping out of his seat.

My Ranking: 01. Slovenia: Lea Sirk - Hvala, ne! ✓ 02. Latvia: Laura Rizzotto - Funny Girl 03. Moldova: DoReDoS - My Lucky Day ✓ 04. Denmark: Rasmussen - Higher Ground ✓ 05. Malta: Christabelle - Taboo 06. Ukraine: Mélovin - Under the Ladder ✓ 07. Poland: Gromee feat. Lukas Meijer - Light Me Up 08. Australia: Jessica Mauboy - We Got Love ✓ 09. Sweden: Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance You Off ✓ 10. Serbia: Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - Nova deca ✓

11. San Marino: Jessika feat. Jenifer Brening - Who We Are 12. Montenegro: Vanja Radovanović - Inje 13. Netherlands: Waylon - Outlaw in 'Em ✓ 14. Romania: The Humans - Goodbye 15. Russia: Julia Samoylova - I Won't Break 16. Hungary: AWS - Viszlát nyár ✓ 17. Norway: Alexander Rybak - That's How You Write a Song ✓ 18. Georgia: Ethno-Jazz Band Iriao - For You

Lisbon 2018 – Semi-Final 1

Host: Portugal Slogan: “All Aboard!” Participants: 43 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host General Overview: So, for the first time ever, there are 4 hosts. All of whom are female! They are: Sílvia Alberto, Daniela Ruah, Catarina Furtado and Filomena Cautela. It seems Portugal were eager to provide comedy this year, in the aftermath of Petra and Måns's iconic hosting. Tonight we have Daniela's naval references, her paper ballots, the two people frantically answering phones, and the trivia game. But the hosts have with it, and they're an enjoyable bunch. The show's opening sequence begins with underwater footage, followed by a montage showcasing Lisbon's architecture, people and culture. There's no opening performances after that though. Instead we jump straight into the host introductions. I mean, there's 19 songs, we don't have time to waste! The interval doesn't contain live performances either. Instead, it's a series of pre-recorded skits. First, there's multiple 2017 artists singing along to “Amar pelos dois”, culminating in a recap of Salvador's win. Then “David Attenburger” observes Portuguese people as if they're an exotic species... this is very cringe. Finally, a narrator reads the ESC encyclopedia, recapping memorable quirks from past entries. All of the 2017 participants return for 2018, and with Russia not withdrawing this time, the total number of entries matches the all-time record of 43. Which was basically every feasible country at that point. Israel wins Semi-Final 1, and the corresponding jury vote, which is strange since Austria is in this semi-final. Cyprus, meanwhile, wins the televote. Which is also strange because Cyprus loses the public vote to Israel at the grand final. Although I do realize only half the countries vote in each semi-final. In other news, the juries saved Albania (which they ranked 3rd) at the expense of Greece. While the public saved Lithuania and Finland at the expense of Belgium and Switzerland. I would not expect “When We're Old” and “Monsters” to have more televote appeal. So 2018 SF1 is one of the biggest “bloodbaths” in Eurovision history. The qualification results seemed pretty unpredictable; in both semi-finals actually. The final odds got 7/10 and 8/10 correct, respectively. As a consequence of these uneven semi-finals, a lot of my favourites didn't make it through this year.

× Azerbaijan: Aisel - X My Heart Azerbaijan NQs for the first time, a full decade after their debut. And they still placed 11th. When I saw the title “X My Heart”, I expected something with bite or edge. Instead, this is the most basic / “mid” song that Azerbaijan has ever sent. Sure, the frantic pre-chorus is effective, with how the “HEAVEN KNOWS WE ARE” part leaps out. And the chorus barrels through as this rooftop declaration of the power of love (“I CROSS MY HEARRRRT”). But the melody and production aren't very unique? The “sto-o-o-op” stutters do nothing for me either. The song starts low, with bubbles and faint frosty crashes. Then the snaps and audience claps come in. Then the pre-chorus jumps into broken ticks, as Aisel's vocal startles everyone awake. Then the chorus releases a generic dance beat (I like the subtle clinks though). While the next pre-chorus uses a sputtering synth instead. The lyrics mention the heaven, stars and moon to convey the power of the universe. But some lines are nonsensical, like “Misty moon I'm your loon” or “Tear down the firewalls”. Or corny like “I'm stronger than cannonballs”. Also, the triangular platform staging is whatever. It begins with Aisel laying down alone on a misty stage. Then she runs around. Then she stands on a triangle with outstretched arms to make the chorus seem powerful – the backing members do the same in the later choruses. There's also this snowy globe visual effect during the bridge that looks tacky. × Iceland: Ari Ólafsson - Our Choice The most predictable result of SF1 was Iceland finishing dead last. They even got 0 televote points, becoming their 4th consecutive NQ. “Our Choice” is my least favourite type of Eurovision ballad. The kind where I'm just waiting for it to be over. The song is so tedious. And the instrumental is just a bland, flavourless, overdone, thick stew of nothingness. The first verse/chorus follows piano notes and Ari's snoozy lower vocal. Then the drums enter in the second verse, where he shifts to a whinier vocal style. Then the backing singers join in later. But that drum beat is so “blah”. The bridge also doesn't try hard enough to intensify the drum beat. Moreover, Ari's performance is overly sentimental and cringey. Like when he shoves the mic stand aside, or when he lets out that falsetto scream, or when he tears up and makes heart-hands at the end. His smiles are ugh too. The lyrics are about the choice we make in how we treat each other. While the bridge warns against turning a blind eye because it could be you suffering. But the words aren't very deep and the tone is too sappy, so the message doesn't resonate. It's an uninspiring inspirational song. ✓ Albania: Eugent Bushpepa - Mall As of 2023, this is Albania's third best result at 11th. And I just... don't get it. I blame the juries. The first verse is promising though. It's driven by these excited, booming, fist-pounding drums, alongside an acoustic guitar and a quick clacking sound. It captures the feeling of brave anticipation and journeying onward. But the rest of the song is filled with Eugent's ear-ache-inducing screams, which I cannot get past. I also find the chorus melody quite annoying. During the first chorus, the instrumental pauses for a clapping segment and a few guitar jabs, then it moves into usual rock instrumentation. The stage also changes colours from dark blue in the verses to red in the chorus. The second verse, by contrast, flows with less obstruction, while the second chorus skips the clapping and adds busy strings instead. “Mall” can be best categorized as a folk rock song. Lyrically, it describes what yearning someone feels like. The yearning doesn't know boundaries or distance. It's indescribable. You're living in a dream. It doesn't go away with time. It's painful. The lyrics are solid enough, but the screaming is a deal-breaker. Yeah, the first verse has a vibe, but the chorus does not. × Belgium: Sennek - A Matter of Time And now I blame the public. This was a safe qualifier before rehearsals. But the unmemorable staging and the early running order hurt it. Sennek mostly just shows expressive body language on the audience walkway. But the staging isn't bad. And the opening shot of her blurry arm in a narrow horizontal frame kinda works. The camera focuses and expands itself after, as Sennek opens her eyes The stage is also darkly lit, except for the flashing lights in the chorus. “A Matter of Time” is stylistically similar to “City Lights”, but I don't mind since I loved “City Lights”. Lyrically, the song addresses common avoidance behaviour from people – hiding emotion to avoid conflict; escaping into cheap sensations; trying to retrieve the golden past. And how we run away from our problems. The song opens with sparse, sombre piano notes. Then the light drums come in, with occasional squiggly beeps. This low-key instrumental, along with Sennek's softer vocal, gives the verses an intimate, dark ambient vibe, like meeting in a hotel room with the lights off. Next, the pre-chorus adds smooth strings, leading to a scratchy transition. Then the chorus is more panicked to disrupt the fantasy, where Sennek exclaims “BEFORE IT ALL ECHO-ECHOES”. It even echoes the word “echo”! I used to find that main hook annoying, but it works as a reality check. Sennek concludes it's only “a matter of time” before your problems catch up with you. It's a relatable message. I like how she says “I suppose” too. ✓ Czech Republic: Mikolas Josef - Lie to Me As of 2023, this is Czechia's best result (6th). I mean... the track is well-produced. The brass breakdowns are catchy (and reminiscent of mid-2010s hits like “Talk Dirty” or “Problem”). The backing dancers look like they're in a music video every time the camera cuts to them (there's screens behind them and the wide aspect ratio). And Mikolas's suspenders and glasses stands out. He even did that jump after injuring his back in rehearsal (I'm guessing it was originally a flip). But the backpack kid homage and the flossing is so 2018 and so cringe. Not to mention the white boy rapping. The lyrics are amusing though. There's sexual innuendos: “got me making a puddle”, “set my camel in the mood”, “I know you (gibberish) on his wood bamboo”. 💀💀💀 Modern slang: “wannabe couple goals queen”. The mysterious “GGY” acronym. And of course: “wanna eat my spaghetti”. The song is about Mikolas getting turned on by his girlfriend cheating on him. He doesn't care. Everyone seems to know except the other guy... who's his friend. The production has a lot going on too. The song opens with a rattle and pops. Then there's a clappy beat, rings clanging together, and a funky guitar everywhere. Then the pre-chorus adds breathing. And the chorus builds up via brass stomps, followed by an accelerating ticking / popping beat, leading to the brass breakdowns. The backing vocals emphasize certain parts too. The song's rhythm and Mikola's stage presence convey swagger. He uses monotone rapping sometimes too. ✓ Lithuania: Ieva Zasimauskaitė - When We're Old 12th place makes sense for this. “When We're Old” is an overwhelmingly sentimental ballad with a slow pace, but Ieva's emotional performance gets to me. It's like she's about to cry on stage, especially at the end. Her voice trembles in the verses; finding it hard to speak. She can't even finish the line “And if you leave I would…” (it's a word rhymes that with “goodbye”). The verses also have long pauses after each line. But the melody picks up in the chorus, which peaks with that “OH OH OLD” shout. The instrumental, meanwhile, does everything it can to remain as delicate and restrained as possible. Which establishes a vibe of feeling too fragile to move. The atmosphere is like a pensive stroll down memory lane too. The instrumental is a fairly standard piano ballad. The chorus introduces droplets of guitar and tambourine (or clacks the second time). The second verse also adds bass guitar plucks. But the instruments move one note a time. The lyrics, meanwhile, are straightforward and sweet. Ieva thinks about the past and the future of the relationship. They've been together long enough to be certain. There's no doubts or conflicts. It's just the dream of growing old together. On stage, Ieva sits on the floor for a while, as holograms of various aged couples appear next to her. Then she walks to the bridge, where a guy enters to hold her hand (to match the final lyric). ✓ Israel: Netta - Toy (winner review in Grand Final post) × Belarus: Alekseev - Forever #StandWithUkraine “NO NEED TO WORRY RAIN FALLING DOWN”... that chorus melody progresses in such an undeniably, instantly catchy way. But Alekseev's heartbroken, sobbing vocal/stage presence comes off hammy. And the staging takes itself too seriously. First, the camera shows him looking down at a rose, which he then sings to. Then he sets the rose down, the camera spins around it, and a backing dancer grabs it. Then she uses a bow to shoot the rose back to him. Then animated rose petals explode from his chest. Then he turns around to reveal roses sewn on his back. I'm just rolling my eyes at this point. The backing dancer's choreo is captivating though. Her red dress matches the theme! In the song, Alekseev announces this must be love. He can't stay away. Time hasn't changed anything. His reality breaks when she arrives. He's unfazed by the rain (bad times), and he mentions forever. It's typical love song stuff. But the song doesn't have a joyful atmosphere – it's actually sorrowful, melancholic, and heartbroken. The production starts as a grieving piano ballad. Then by the second verse, the tap-tap-splash drums and strings become prominent. While the second/third choruses have a raining down misery vibe. Then the bridge retreats to solemn piano, followed by an instrumental break. ✓ Estonia: Elina Nechayeva - La forza Funny how Estonia returns to the top 10 every 3-4 contests lately (2009, 2012, 2015, 2018, 2023). Normally I find opera annoying, but “La forza” is breathtakingly gorgeous. Elina's voice is angelic and the staging is perfect. Since 2018 had no LED screen, her long dress became a quasi LED instead! It depicts swirling colourful patterns in a mesmerizing way. The concept is simple, creative and brilliant. The song is about “the force of destiny”, with Italian lyrics for the pure opera experience. In “La forza”, Elina mentions a star that's important to her. It gives clarity in the path to take. It won't abandon her. She also says destiny brings her to happiness, but questions if it's real. The lyrics seem spiritual. Musically, the verses are comprised of icy piano/strings, with a couple orchestral ocean swells, while Elina's voice sounds mystical. Said verses move in slow and steady footsteps, and paint the image of a cold winter night by a frozen lake in solitude. The chorus contrasts this by switching to operatic vocals and slamming “tribal” drums. This part feels like an external force is levitating Elina to the heavens. There's also this powering down sound used for transitions. And a star-shining ping. The second verse, meanwhile, adds snowy footstep crunches and snowy echoes. I like how this part concludes with cut-up syllables of “per. l'e. tern. i. ta.” and multiple camera cuts. Finally, the song ends with a high note. ✓ Bulgaria: Equinox - Bones Expectations were high for Bulgaria this year – this was #2 in the odds at one point (it ended up 14th). The song feels calculated though. The chorus melody (“I love beyond the booones”) is stiff and unsatisfying. Equinox seems like 5 individuals thrown together (I think this is the only song they ever made). And their live performance comes off pretentious. Like how they stand frozen in darkness at the beginning. The editing tricks don't help - the cuts, the split screens, the black smoke, the triple-vision effect. But they're good singers / performers, and the song's dark production is intriguing. There's a wobbly bass-line running through “Bones”. The intro and outro also include some distortions, giving a submerged in dark water vibe. The verses, meanwhile, use kicking percussion, with a couple alert sounds inserted. Then the pre-chorus slides with the light guitar and harmonies. The “what is life...” melody is decent in this part; the moon-howling “BONES” less so. Next, the flow completely stops in the chorus. But the ensuing wavy-sounding drop is my fave part, making the payoff worthwhile. It's an intense song. The slam transitions work too. I don't need Zhana's screams though. The lyrics describe breaking past the limitations Earth imposes on us. And loving beyond the physical body. The verses talk about letting go to “feel it, feel it, feel it”. The phrase “beyond the bones” is awkward though, it makes me think of skeletons. I guess “flesh and bones” had too many syllables. × F.Y.R. Macedonia: Eye Cue - Lost and Found This was my NUMBER ONE before the live shows. It even reached #2 in my personal chart. But I cannot defend this performance. The stage direction looks disorganized. Marija lacks fierceness. Her vocals aren't the best. Her interactions with Bojan are off. The “go deeper”s are kinda awkward. And whenever Marija joins the backing for the chorus, it's so messy and it ruins all power the chorus has. I like when she teleports in front of Bojan at the start though. This is the “Verona” of 2018. It's also North Macedonia's 6th straight NQ! “Lost and Found” is like two different songs stitched together. It opens with guitar flicks, followed by anticipatory drums. But then the song abruptly switches to a reggae beat for the verses, changing the vibe out of nowhere. Then the pre-chorus repeats intro (with snaps added in), except this time it actually builds to something: a guitar driving through a tunnel. Then two guitar notes transition to the chorus, which is a claustrophobic chant of “HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT”, alongside a clappy beat that's like choppy rapids. Said chorus is an ominous warning: They went too far! There's no way back! The song is about Marija inviting her love interest to come along. She wants to experience a “deeper love”, but they're holding back from fear. The verses are flirtatious, while the chorus has a “point of no return” vibe. The disparate genres somehow work together though. It's a fresh idea. Plus the build-up to the chorus is exciting. × Croatia: Franka - Crazy I don't mind this. My biggest issue is Franka's off-putting body language on stage. It's like she's trying too hard to look intense. There isn't much else happening on stage either. There's an opening shot of Franka's outstretched arm, and bright flashing smoke behind her. But that's it. The lyrics are mostly bland infatuation stuff as well: he's like a black-and-white movie. They're like Bonnie & Clyde. She doesn't need diamonds and pearls. There's no reason, no games, no fear, no breaks. Something about “roses and horses in the rain”. There's also a random spoken word section. And the chorus only contains 5 words. BUT the instrumental is what grabs my attention - it continually punches, but not in an intimidating way. There's also distorted “ahh uhh ohh”s and dying animal squeals all over the song. The first verse employs bass vibrations, snaps and a harp(?). Until it's interrupted by a series of rapid heartbeat bangs, to complete the line “you make my heart go...” The rest of the verse includes this circling guitar thing, plus several more bangs. Then the pre-chorus percussion switches to a snare (with an orchestral descent). Then the beat pauses when Franka hesitates during “and I-I-I-I-I-I go... ”, which is very effective, to be completed by a buzz-slam on “...crazy”. Then there's loud brass blasts during “LAH-AH-AH-VE”, and more at the end of the chorus. Next, the second verse and the bridge both dial back, before returning to the heavier beats. The production is complex but uncluttered. ✓ Austria: Cesár Sampson - Nobody but You An obvious jury winner in retrospect. The song is radio-friendly, Cesár's vocals are solid, he's a likeable and confident performer, and he feels the lyrics. “Nobody but You” is a non-religious gospel song. There's a choir, an organ, and the lyrics mention “lord” and “bible”. But he tells the Lord he's getting high lol. It's about wanting someone back. Cesár's mind is set; he's going for it. He can't move on. He doesn't want a new partner. He declares it isn't right to let go, but rhetorically asks if he's wrong. The first verse is minimal, with a few piano notes and distorted wails, as the camera shows darkly lit close-ups of his face. Then the pre-chorus powers up. Then the chorus explodes (“it wouldn't be RIGHT letting you GO”), where the organ and “boom-clap” beat arrive, and Cesár towers above everyone on a platform twice his height. He's larger than life! There's also a god-like translucent image of him at one point. Meanwhile, the production lunges outward during the “ain't nobody” responses, which interrupts in a good way. Next, the beat pauses for some gospel “WHOA-OH”s. While the second verse keeps the percussion. Then the pleading bridge sees the vocals/choir/organ let loose, as Cesár leaves the restrictive platform to move freely near the audience. Which is welcomed, since the rest of the song is so structured. Maybe overly so. Still, the chorus progression is great, the choir elevates the song, and there's an optimistic atmosphere/outlook here. × Greece: Yianna Terzi - Oniro mou So Yianna “won” the national selection because the other 4 entries were disqualified. 💀Still, this >>> “This Is Love”. The instrumental is undeniably Greek. It paints the image of springtime fields at dawn, but with an uneasy calmness. Like feeling reluctance over the status quo. The chorus chants are ominous too. The lyrics are presumably about Greece, in a defensive way. In the chorus, Yianna declares her patriotism: “I'd die for you / I'd give my life for you”, and how she wouldn't strike Greece off the map. While the verses are from the POV of Greece itself as if it could talk. They advocate for appreciation and question the negative changes. Yianna later asks “but why?” in disbelief. Musically, the song opens with a humming bass-line and a flute. But the rest of “Oniro mou” is dominated by forceful, pounding, earthquake drums that consume all attention. They pound twice in the verses. And they only stop during the chorus to enhance its ominousness (except for the second chorus where they march right through). The second verse also contains synth droplets and brings the flute back. While the bridge involves a “tribal” drum breakdown with bagpipes(?), and sparklers and smoke on stage, leading to rising strings. The beat then pauses after the bridge peaks. The staging is empty otherwise. Yianna's hand is painted grey and there's flashing lights behind her. That's about it. The song's melody is a little sleepy, but the mood is nice, and the backing vocals enhance it. ✓ Finland: Saara Aalto - Monsters The “Where I Am” of 2018. Both Anja and Saara competed on foreign singing shows before entering Eurovision. In Saara's case, she came 2nd on UK X Factor 2016. And both songs could be improved. “Monsters” is a basic bop, but I'm fine with it qualifying. The lyrics revert to childhood times of being scared of the monsters under the bed. It's a metaphor for mental health. Saara tried to pretend it didn't exist, but now she's grown to “make friends” with it. So she declares she ain't scared no more - the monsters won't control her life. She sounds brave and ready to take things on. The production is dark and haunting too. It starts with ominous distant voices, a humming bass-line, and a creepy-crawling piano. This leads to a swelling synth transition. Then some repressed boops. Then a clappy / broken tick build-up (with a brief buzzer). Then the “drop” unleashes a xylophone-like breakdown. The child-like “I ain't, I ain't, I ain't scared no more” bit is anticlimactic though. Next, the second verse adds a snappy beat. While the second/final choruses are high energy. With the bridge providing a break from that energy. On stage, Saara is initially attached to a spinning wheel with two dancers next to her. Then during the drop, they walk away together. Then Saara dances a little bit with the backing. Finally, there's a pyro finale, and Saara jumps off the staircase into the dancers' arms. × Armenia: Sevak Khanagyan - Qami I had no recollection of this song existing. But I can call it underrated now! I think the issue with “Qami” is the somewhat jarring switch around the 2/3 mark. The song goes from smooth to angsty. But I think it works. Sevak gives a passionate performance. He stands on a darkly lit misty stage, surrounded by a circular array of pillars, in a wide aspect ratio. The stage eventually lights up when the song switches. Lyrically, “Qami” is a cryptic song about the wind. Like how the winds are deaf when the soul is empty (HUH?) I'm guessing Sevak feels disassociated from his environment. He's disillusioned by love after a heartbreak (“the starts were lying”). The memories were blown away. He wants to fly back to the person. He has a reason to feel wronged and angry. Musically, the song builds step by step to its climax. The first verse is a depressed piano ballad. Then an acoustic guitar elevates the first chorus, which teases something bigger is coming. Said chorus has a dreamy longing vibe. After this, the second verse adds snowy echoes. And by this point, the moody strings are apparent. Then the second chorus instrumental is fuller. Then a few drum pounds signal the switch-over, where Sevak's voice turns hoarse, the backing singers repeat themselves, and the beat turns dubstep-y; followed by electric guitars slicing through everything. × Switzerland: Zibbz - Stones I'm shocked this didn't qualify. Switzerland's 4th consecutive NQ in fact. The chorus is killer (“NO I AIN'T THROWING STONES”). There's catchy “Ahh-UHM!”s everywhere. The horn blasts are like knockout punches, or a barking dog. And the band holds fireworks at the song's climax. What's not to love? The instrumental is combative, but I like the attitude. The live version changes the intro – now there's 3 horn blasts (each light up the stage) before the beat kicks in. We're starting with a bang! The verses then use snap-shut drums and quick guitar flicks, and horns to finish stanzas. There's some “HEY”s thrown in there too. The beat stops in the pre-chorus, until the heavy door knocks. Then the chorus is LOUD. And the bridge builds with heavy foot stomps. The lyrics list various societal issues – jokers on thrones, wrong people holding information, the “NIMBY” mindset, falling behind in advancement, war, ignoring facts, not learning from the past, conformity, body image. But singer Coco Gfeller concludes she “can't do anything about it”, so she “ain't throwing stones”. It's a reference to that idiom about not judging others who have the same faults as you. She's not here to criticize whoever's guilty of these things. It's a refreshing take compared to past political ESC songs. It condemns a holier-than-thou attitude. It's pragmatic. Most of the performance is just Coco walking around the stage though, except for the firework and when she stands on the drum kit at the end. ✓ Ireland: Ryan O'Shaughnessy - Together Ireland finally returns to the final. But I don't see how “Together” is different from the ballads they usually send? I can't help but feel it's because of the staging. It involves a gay couple. They walk across the bridge holding hands. They dance around a park bench next to a street lamp. And snow falls down on them during the quiet part of the song. It's like a music video. I love seeing LGBT+ representation. The song also has an easy melody that floats like a cloud, but that melody is kind of bland. Ryan's vocals add sensitive vulnerability to the song though. The soft instrumental complements that mood. It's the vibe of a sweet embrace; and a romantic soundtrack for the dancers. The verses contain light piano and acoustic guitar. The second verse also adds in tapping, then switches to snapping. The chorus, meanwhile, uses tambourine clicks to set the pace. The song also goes quiet before the final chorus. And the backing vocals and a louder piano elevate that last chorus. But the lyrical story isn't that interesting? Ryan put work into this relationship. His ex lied that they were fine. He suspects his ex found someone else. Then Ryan spends the chorus wondering why their “til death” promise failed (the bridge implies it's a broken wedding vow). The chorus lyrics are lacking in substance for me too. ✓ Cyprus: Eleni Foureira - Fuego My winner of 2018. Shocking I know. The choreo is just WOW. Every move they make in unison is mesmerizing – the squats, the hair flips, the bend-overs, the back turns, the pointing. The sideways strut is my fave though. Eleni's confidence is insane. Her slow-mo entrance is cool too. There's also red smoke and fire animations, and a pyro finale. Plus the song is jam-packed with hooks – the “high high highs”/ “fly fly flyin'” repetitions, the “CUZ I'M WAY UP” shout, and of course: “AH YEAH AH YEAH AH YEAH!” The instrumental breaks get stuck in my head too (they're like a fire dance). And the production is Major Lazer-esque. The song's atmosphere is a scorching hot inferno. It opens with a plop, followed by a traditional woodwind blowing like smoke, leading to a click-plop. Then the first verse has these little howls. While the pre-chorus brings in the kicking beat, leading to a crash. After which, the chorus retreats into acoustic mode, before the steps escalate. But it's not over – the chorus builds up TWICE! Next, the woodwind steadily emerges (the pauses after “Fuego” are SO good here). Then the woodwind runs wild with percussion pushing along. Also, the second verse uses the first pre-chorus production. And the final chorus ignores the above steps and runs free. Eleni said “Fuego” is about female empowerment. The lyrics don't explicitly say that. But her fierce attitude is empowering. The verses are flirtatious. She has powerful lioness eyes. She's drawn to subtle gestures. She has no ulterior motives. While the chorus describes the effect this person has. “You got me pelican fly fly flyin'” is a funny lyric though. “Fuego” is designed to be catchy not deep. My Ranking: 01. Cyprus: Eleni Foureira - Fuego ✓ 02. Estonia: Elina Nechayeva - La forza ✓ 03. Switzerland: Zibbz - Stones 04. Austria: Cesár Sampson - Nobody but You ✓ 05. Belgium: Sennek - A Matter of Time 06. Armenia: Sevak Khanagyan - Qami 07. Lithuania: Ieva Zasimauskaitė - When We're Old ✓ 08. Czech Republic: Mikolas Josef - Lie to Me ✓ 09. F.Y.R. Macedonia: Eye Cue - Lost and Found 10. Greece: Yianna Terzi - Oniro mou 11. Finland: Saara Aalto - Monsters ✓ 12. Croatia: Franka - Crazy 13. Bulgaria: Equinox - Bones ✓ 14. Belarus: Alekseev - Forever 15. Israel: Netta - Toy ✓ 16. Azerbaijan: Aisel - X My Heart 17. Ireland: Ryan O'Shaughnessy - Together ✓ 18. Albania: Eugent Bushpepa - Mall ✓ 19. Iceland: Ari Ólafsson - Our Choice

Kyiv 2017 – Grand Final

Host: Ukraine Slogan: “Celebrate Diversity” Participants: 42 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host Winner: Salvador Sobral - Amar pelos dois Country: Portugal Points: 758 (77.0% of highest score possible) Language: Portuguese General Overview: I can definitively say that 2017 is not one of my favourite years. Part of that is the results, and part of it is the song quality. The Grand Final opens with a video of people looking at bouncing balls, which relates to the contest's beaded necklace logo. Then there's a display of flashing lights on stage to kick off the Parade of Nations, where the flags splash onto the screen. And that's it for the opening sequence! This final feels less bloated than the previous two. But they make up for it by having SO many breaks during the running order, which has become the standard now. Måns even makes a pre-recorded cameo in one of them (because of course he does) to train the hosts. It was cute. The postcards begin with the artists, delegation and press all standing frozen in this generic hallway, until just the artists move. Next it cuts to the usual footage of the respective artists partaking in various activities. Then the sequence finishes by returning to the hallway where everybody else unfreezes. I will forever associate this hallway with 2017. Back in the arena, the bead pattern logo (or are they paper lanterns?) displays the country flag colours.

The stage is a spacious, flat circle, with a wide LED screen behind it and an overhanging mushroom-top-like structure extending outwards. It's less versatile than the 2016 stage. The Green Room, meanwhile, is in the back of the audience, where the delegations sit in pods. Ukraine made sure to include as much Verka Serduchka as possible this year. Her and her mom start the voting, and they later lead the audience to dance to “Dancing Lasha Tumbai”. If this wasn't Ukraine hosting, I'd be annoyed about her overexposure. I'll save that for 2019. Otherwise, the interval contains 3 performances, including both of Ukraine's winning acts (up to that point). First, it's Ruslana singing “It's Magical”, featuring a misty forest, plenty of “oh whoa oh”s, drumming, a grinding beat, and a crowd of dancers. Next, there's a Ukrainian folk orchestra mixed with electronic musicians, which includes those long horns and a buhay. I enjoyed the beat. Finally, Jamala performs the uplifting track “I Believe in U”, accompanied by an outline animation of an embracing couple. And a stage invader who moons the audience right next to her... what the actual f**k. I love how she just carried on unfazed.

The top 3 countries (Portugal, Bulgaria and Moldova) all achieve their best placements, which is cool. Portugal ran away with the jury vote, and their jury score alone kept them at #1 until the top two televote scores were given... which they also won... so not a suspenseful result. The San Marino spokesperson hid behind a cardboard cutout as a prank. While Israel's Ofer Nachshon commented on the IBA shutting down, implying that Israel was withdrawing... only to win the whole thing next year. And LOL at the Bulgarian jury voting for like none of the contenders. Otherwise, this is a top-heavy televote. They rejected many of the jury favourites like Austria, Australia, UK, Netherlands, and even Norway which I wasn't expecting. The televote top 4 is the actual top 4 too (in that order). Bulgaria was just unlucky here – 615 points is more than what “1944”, “Toy”, “Arcade” and “Zitti e buoni” got. Similar to 2016, only 4 entries have no English lyrics at all. Israel: Imri - I Feel Alive From 3rd place in the semi-final to 23rd in the Grand Final. I guess the running order really does matter. Poland: Kasia Moś - Flashlight I read that this is actually about animal cruelty? I liked my interpretation better lol. Belarus: Naviband - Story of My Life More annoying each time I hear it. Austria: Nathan Trent - Running on Air Armenia: Artsvik - Fly with Me Netherlands: OG3NE - Lights and Shadows Moldova: SunStroke Project - Hey Mamma It runs out of steam around the bridge. Hungary: Joci Pápai - Origo Italy: Francesco Gabbani - Occidentali's Karma The odds-on favourite to win. All because of a dancing ape on stage. I still don't get what's so amusing about that? I'm very mixed on this one. “Occidentali's Karma” is an undeniably catchy song, but it comes off as snobby and judgemental. The dancing ape is meant to mock too. Francesco spends the song deriding and mocking modern Western culture, saying that we've devolved back to Neolithic times. That intelligence has been replaced by easy answers, “useless dilemmas” and sex appeal. He further mentions the appropriation of Eastern spiritualism, with references to Nirvana and Buddha. While the screen shows a yin yang symbol and Chakras, as Francesco does the gyan mudra pose and the song ends on an “om” chant. Additionally, the lyrics insert English, Sanskrit and Greek phrases to show the prevalence of loan words. It's a sunny production though and the LED screen is colourful. The backing also wear different colour shirts. The song begins with these plucking synths. Then the pre-chrous uses strings and a whirring beat. While the chorus rushes in in a very catchy and dominant way; culminating in an instrumental response after the song title and collective arm swaying (with more arm-swaying figures on screen). There's also frequent backing responses (“ALLEZ!”). And rubbery arm animations on screen. Later, the bridge goes quiet; then the instrumental grows, the whole arena shouts “NAMASTE! ALLEZ!”, and the ape dances to a brief guitar solo. Denmark: Anja - Where I Am Portugal: Salvador Sobral - Amar pelos dois (winner review below) Azerbaijan: Dihaj - Skeletons Croatia: Jacques Houdek - My Friend They really chose to put this at the end of the 1st half. Australia: Isaiah - Don't Come Easy Greece: Demy - This Is Love These vocals are rough. Spain: Manel Navarro - Do It for Your Lover Yeah, no surprise this finished in last place. I'm more surprised that it received any points at all. Because absolutely zero effort was put into this. The song aims for a lazy vibe, but it ends up sounding lifeless instead. The instrumental is beyond basic. The chorus lacks energy and it's banally written – it just repeats the title phrase over and over, with a few “clap your hands” thrown in. The “la la la la lover” hook is flat too... like they're filling time. And the lyrical message (of letting your lover be your inspiration to confront things in life) is sung in such an unconvincing way. The Spanish verses aren't that deep either. Also, that part where the two guitarists face each other looks awkward. Moreover, this entry is too wrapped up in the “surfer dude” stereotypes; between the Hawaiian shirts, Manel's long curly hair, the group standing on surfboards animations, and the LED screen showing beaches and a retro van. Musically, the song has a reggae rhythm. It starts with a minimal acoustic guitar and wave sound effects, while the group stands backwards, staring at a nighttime globe that zooms out from Spain. Then a record scratch starts the chorus, where the drums come in. From there, the rest of the song follows a stagnant guitar/drum pattern. And the bridge escalates through the “just do it”'s, which only leads to Manel's infamous voice crack... Norway: Jowst - Grab the Moment “Grab the Moment” saving us from a run of bad songs again LOL. United Kingdom: Lucie Jones - Never Give Up on You The best UK entry of the entire 21st century imo. It's also their highest placement since Blue in 2011, even with a paltry 12 televote points. Emmelie de Forest helped write this too. The lyrical message is touching and Lucie sounds like someone who wants to help and will never give up; although her live vocals are shaky. Her words come from a place of love. She rationalizes the subject's negative self-perception and affirms her commitment to supporting them. She says that opening up is a sign of trust not weakness. She points out the progress they've made but can't see. She begs them to not give up on themselves. And the chorus has this desperate pleading tone, where she makes a firm promise at any cost to herself. My favourite line is “You're not defeated, you're in repair” though. Musically, the song begins as a bare piano ballad, letting the vocal melody drive things. The first chorus starts with this sinking down effect. Then the percussion arrives in the second verse, first with taps and echoing clacks. Followed by thumps in the next chorus. And bellowing drums in the finale, where Lucie delivers a big note. It has an atmosphere by the end of it. On stage, she stands in front of this mirror shell thing, while a galaxy of stars radiate across the stage. The opening shot shows her reflection too. Otherwise, the “now you can see...” part is a good hook, but the bridge transitions weirdly in how it continues the last line of the chorus. Cyprus: Hovig - Gravity Romania: Ilinca feat. Alex Florea - Yodel It! Germany: Levina - Perfect Life Yet another flop for Germany. The lyrics are nice, but the verse production is way too similar to David Guetta's “Titanium” and they couldn't get away with it. The melody is bland and forgettable too. The chorus is plain. And the stage aesthetic is drab. I can see how this was met with apathy. The song is about how Levina has grown and changed her perspective on life. She previously wanted things to go to plan, but now realizes that a “Perfect Life” is actually imperfect. The best things come from the unexpected and from outside her comfort zone. She accepts her flaws (“almost a sinner”). And she's no longer afraid to make mistakes. She says all this with a self-assured tone too; like she believes she'll be alright. But the composition doesn't do much for me. The “Titanium” production is what pushes the song forward via the brisk jabbing hitting from different directions. The percussion beat appears partway through the first verse to match it. While Levina spends that first verse laying on the floor. Then the first chorus follows a series of dramatic slams, leading to some metronome-like ticking. Afterwards, the instrumental eases off for the second verse and chorus. The latter of which ends with more slams and ticking. And the final chorus has a stomping build-up. Ukraine: O.Torvald - Time Thus begins a stretch of flop host entries that will last through 2021. It's also Ukraine's worst placement ever. Strange, since this is the only rock entry this year. But the chorus isn't that catchy. The “time to look/time to see/time to find” pre-chorus build-up works better though. I also wish they kept the countdown clocks from the national final. I don't get the giant head with strobe light eyes on the ESC stage. Anyways, the lyrics include a bunch of “time” phrases, resulting in the word “time” being said 27 times in total. It's about focusing on what matters in life. The singer advises seeking a peaceful place, understanding silence, finding truth, and appreciating what you have. The intro exemplifies this theme by resembling tunnel background noise. Then the rock instrumentation starts halfway through the first verse. It's more moderate in the verses, while the harder guitar groove runs through the chorus, giving it an angsty vibe. But it's too sludgy to hook me in. The pre-chorus, meanwhile, builds via the drums and the resulting guitar riff. The second one further adds an echoing quirk. There's also a guitar solo later on. Plus this reverse audio slicing sound sprinkled throughout the track. And the song makes sure to wait after each chorus. Belgium: Blanche - City Lights Sweden: Robin Bengtsson - I Can't Go On Bulgaria: Kristian Kostov - Beautiful Mess France: Alma - Requiem Not to be confused with Finnish singer Alma. It's funny how the final ends with my top 2. This peaked at #3 on my personal chart. It has a complex production. And the lyrics explore a difficult topic. The only issue is that the staging is missing something. The dizzying, spinning Paris skyline is a neat visual, but it just reminds me of how the French spokesperson always has the Eiffel Tower behind them. Anyways, the lyrics address the idea of death making life feel meaningless. How it's a cycle over the centuries. That the world will go on without us. And what we think is important will be forgotten. But Alma conquers this fear by implying that love is what gives life meaning (“With you nothing ever dies”). It isn't an original message, but it's probably true. Alma's tone and smiles give it a positive spin too. The music is also like a “Requiem” (ie. a funeral song) with the sombre piano; plus the bells and the tense violin release at the start. The violin keeps resurfacing too. But it's the percussion that elevates this. The first verse adds a stomping beat midway (as does the first pre-chorus, which also transitions with a clap). The chorus involves this alluring castanet-like beat and it concludes with a finality slam. The switch to English is kind of abrupt though. The second verse continues the stomps, leading to some heightened percussion, before it stops on the last line. And the bridge moves from bass strings to stretched-out beats to escalating to removing all tension; which sets up the finale well. The Winner: Portugal finally achieves their first win after a record-breaking 49 attempts. Finland previously held this record with 40 tries in 2006. Not only that, Portugal had never even been in the top 5 before this (their best placement was 6th in 1996). They were truly an underdog in this contest. This means that Cyprus, Iceland, Malta are the only countries left from the Cold War era that have yet to win. Interestingly, all three will be contenders in the next few years. Moreover, as of 2022, “Amar pelos dois” still holds the points record at 758. Which even surpasses the combined jury and televote scores of all the 2009-15 winners. It's also the first entirely non-English winner since “Molitva” 10 years prior. Despite the overwhelming victory, this is actually one of the most polarizing winners within the Eurovision fandom. Most rankings that I've seen either have it in their top 5 or bottom 5 of 2017. And I'm no different; it's in my bottom 5. The song just makes me want to fall sleep. There's no melody, no remarkable instrumental moments, no journey. None at all. Salvador sings it like it's a lullaby. I couldn't hum this from memory. And the arrangement is so slow and boring. Also, his winning speech where he trashed the modern era of the contest turned me off. It seemed like poor sportsmanship. I have no issue with appreciating the past, but you don't have to be condescending and snobbish about how the past is better. Anyways, “Amar pelos dois” is a jazz waltz ballad that hearkens back to the black-and-white era of the contest and to old-school romanticism. It was written by Salvador's sister Luísa Sobral. I'll admit it was cute when she sang with him for the winner's reprisal. And I can see how it stands out against the modern entries. The audience holds up their phone lights during the performance, where Salvador remains at the centre audience platform for the entire thing, which is smart. I noticed that the solo performers got lost on the big stage this year. In the lyrics, Salvador states that his legacy is to love his person. That he merely existed before they met. And he pleads them to return, hoping they will grow to love him back. He even repeats this plea a second time. He surmises that “I know that one can't love alone”, which is true; love is a two-way street. But he later contradicts himself at the end by saying “My heart can love for both of us”. So which is it? The lyrics can also be interpreted as clingy; like he's living in this hopeless fantasy, attached to someone who's not into him. The song itself follows an unusual verse-chorus-chorus-verse structure. It incorporates an old-fashioned instrumental and it has a very delicate texture. It starts with a violin intro, featuring some long pauses. Then a gentle, sleepily-paced piano guides things, as the strings reemerge in the first chorus. There's another violin solo that separates the two choruses. Then the second chorus softens and grows. While the final verse sees the piano fade away, as the instrumental reduces down to just a few violin interjections before the piano comes back. The song ends on another soft moment. Verdict: “F” Tier. I don't get this one, and I don't think I ever will. My Ranking: Grand Final: 01. Bulgaria: Kristian Kostov - Beautiful Mess 02. France: Alma - Requiem 03. Hungary: Joci Pápai - Origo 04. Netherlands: O'G3NE - Lights and Shadows 05. Norway: Jowst - Grab the Moment 06. United Kingdom: Lucie Jones - Never Give Up on You 07. Armenia: Artsvik - Fly with Me 08. Belgium: Blanche - City Lights 09. Poland: Kasia Moś - Flashlight 10. Cyprus: Hovig - Gravity 11. Romania: Ilinca feat. Alex Florea - Yodel It! 12. Azerbaijan: Dihaj - Skeletons 13. Sweden: Robin Bengtsson - I Can't Go On 14. Denmark: Anja Nissen - Where I Am 15. Italy: Francesco Gabbani - Occidentali's Karma 16. Moldova: SunStroke Project - Hey Mamma 17. Israel: Imri - I Feel Alive 18. Belarus: Naviband - Story of My Life 19. Australia: Isaiah - Don't Come Easy 20. Ukraine: O.Torvald - Time 21. Greece: Demy - This Is Love 22. Germany: Levina - Perfect Life 23. Austria: Nathan Trent - Running on Air 24. Portugal: Salvador Sobral - Amar pelos dois 25. Spain: Manel Navarro - Do It for Your Lover 26. Croatia: Jacques Houdek - My Friend Full Ranking: 01. Bulgaria: Kristian Kostov - Beautiful Mess 02. France: Alma - Requiem 03. Iceland: Svala - Paper 04. Hungary: Joci Pápai - Origo 05. Netherlands: O'G3NE - Lights and Shadows 06. Norway: Jowst - Grab the Moment 07. United Kingdom: Lucie Jones - Never Give Up on You 08. Armenia: Artsvik - Fly with Me 09. Belgium: Blanche - City Lights 10. Poland: Kasia Moś - Flashlight 11. Cyprus: Hovig - Gravity 12. Serbia: Tijana Bogićević - In Too Deep 13. Romania: Ilinca feat. Alex Florea - Yodel It! 14. Azerbaijan: Dihaj - Skeletons 15. Estonia: Koit Toome and Laura - Verona 16. Switzerland: Timebelle - Apollo 17. Finland: Norma John - Blackbird 18. Sweden: Robin Bengtsson - I Can't Go On 19. Albania: Lindita - World 20. Denmark: Anja Nissen - Where I Am 21. Italy: Francesco Gabbani - Occidentali's Karma 22. F.Y.R. Macedonia: Jana Burčeska - Dance Alone 23. Moldova: SunStroke Project - Hey Mamma 24. Israel: Imri - I Feel Alive 25. Belarus: Naviband - Story of My Life 26. Australia: Isaiah - Don't Come Easy 27. Latvia: Triana Park - Line 28. Ukraine: O.Torvald - Time 29. Czech Republic: Martina Bárta - My Turn 30. Greece: Demy - This Is Love 31. Ireland: Brendan Murray - Dying to Try 32. Germany: Levina - Perfect Life 33. San Marino: Valentina Monetta and Jimmie Wilson - Spirit of the Night 34. Montenegro: Slavko Kalezić - Space 35. Austria: Nathan Trent - Running on Air 36. Malta: Claudia Faniello - Breathlessly 37. Georgia: Tamara Gachechiladze - Keep the Faith 38. Portugal: Salvador Sobral - Amar pelos dois 39. Lithuania: Fusedmarc - Rain of Revolution 40. Spain: Manel Navarro - Do It for Your Lover 41. Croatia: Jacques Houdek - My Friend 42. Slovenia: Omar Naber - On My Way “S” Tier: “Euphoria”, “Fairytale”, “My Number One” “A” Tier: “Every Way That I Can”, “Only Teardrops”, “Wild Dances”, “Rise Like a Phoenix”, “1944”, “Satellite” “B” Tier: “Molitva”, “Hard Rock Hallelujah”,“Heroes” “C” Tier: “Fly On The Wings Of Love”, “I Wanna” “D” Tier: “Everybody”, “Believe”, “Running Scared” “F” Tier: “Amar pelos dois” *I decided to move Hard Rock Hallelujah below Molitva and into my B-tier

Kyiv 2017 – Semi-Final 2

Host: Ukraine Slogan: “Celebrate Diversity” Participants: 42 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host General Overview: For whatever reason, the 2nd semi-final of 2017 isn't accessible on the Eurovision YouTube channel. I know that all of the 2016-2019 contests are Geo-blocked in the US and Canada, but this one doesn't seem to be available in any region. So I'm having to piece it together through clips. The show starts with a recap of the 10 qualifiers from SF1. Then, after the usual host introductions, Oleksandr and Volodymyr bring out a sopilka and an accordion to play Eurovision hits; while a traditionally-dressed group of musicians and choir join in to help them. The interval act stars Apache Crew, which involves a troupe of kids dancing around a school playground, with hopscotch squares on the floor, and playground equipment on screen. The music goes from an eerie chant to a modern beat to drumming to “Wild Dances”-style horns. Bulgaria wins this semi-final and it's not even close. They have a 1.7x lead over Hungary. And with 84% of the maximum possible score, “Beautiful Mess” is the second biggest semi-final winner ever after “Heroes”. Although to be fair, the rest of this year's top 5 were all in SF1. Needless to say, Bulgaria tops both the jury and the televote here. In other news, the juries saved Austria and Denmark at the expense of Switzerland and Estonia. While the public saved Romania and Croatia (ie. the more campy entries) in exchange for Serbia and Malta. The televoters actually gave Malta 0 points!

× Serbia: Tijana Bogićević - In Too Deep The unlucky 11th placer of SF2, missing out by just 3 points. Maybe “In Too Deep” was too underrated to be noticed. It's one of my qualifiers though. The chorus is catchy, the production has its quirks, and Tijana sounds like she's been tragically swept off her feet; particularly in the chorus. The lyrics describe how she fell so hard for someone that she's panicking about it. She didn't realize it was happening. She feels defenseless. She has no control over it. There's no escape. Musically, the verses move in a tugging motion by repeating this cawing effect, alongside wood clinks, as well as finger snaps midway through. It's like hitting the left arrow key over and over. The beat stops in the pre-chorus, allowing the chorus to launch off with a “WON'T SOMEBODY SAVE ME TONIGHT” hook, as a soft drum 'n' bass production flows in. The chorus has a sinking in water feeling. Later, the bridge switches to dramatic slams, backed by rattling percussion and some “whoa-oh”s from the backing; as a dancer appears next to Tijana. There's also a sad violin moment before the final chorus. The stage, meanwhile, starts with dark lighting and a letterboxed aspect ratio until the first chorus. Then the screens display water bubbles and people submerged (in love). While the floor shows water splashes. ✓ Austria: Nathan Trent - Running on Air A big jury favourite that received 0 televote points at the Grand Final. I'm siding with the public on this one. “Running on Air” is a carefree, laid back song, where Nathan brings an unflappable attitude, but it gets under my skin. There's a smug, self-satisfied vibe running through this. The implied “ass” bleep is cringe too. And the song doesn't “Run on Air” at all. Instead, it moves at a casual pace and remains in a chill mood. The instrumental starts minimal with just an acoustic guitar and finger snaps. Then the chorus introduces a series of percussion stomps; culminating in a “dun dun.. dun.. dun” sequence after the “I don't care” line. Then the second verse inserts a pause to let the “You can try to put me in a box” stand out. While the percussion becomes more defined in the second chorus. After the bridge, the production quiets to set up the finale, with some “oh-whoa”s towards the end. In the lyrics, Nathan explains how he needed some time to grow and meet the right people. Now he feels motivated, resilient, and unconcerned about the future. He also advises people to get off their (ass). As I said, it sounds smug. As for the stage, there's a giant crescent moon prop and misty clouds, since he's "on air". × F.Y.R. Macedonia: Jana Burčeska - Dance Alone That's 5 non-qualifiers in a row for North Macedonia. This one gives me Kylie Minogue vibes. Jana sings the verses in a similar seductive tone, but her live vocals sound processed, which throws me off. Mostly because the chorus vocal is different, although the backing overrules that part. Jana's seductive choreography doesn't quite connect either. Anyways, the song is about... dancing alone. Or more specifically, enjoying the freedom of being alone. Where Jana can ditch her hair and makeup. Until the bridge, where she asks someone to take her out. Which suggests she dances alone because her partner is unwilling. Musically, the song opens by moving through a tunnel, leading to a slam. Then the chorus comes first, as Jana's silhouette is shown. Following this, the light turns on and the gargling, glitchy dance synths take over, alongside some '80s drums. Jana also pauses after each verse line, so that “HEY” responses or finger snaps can fill the space. The chorus then gets the energy moving. It inserts a double tap thing after she says “I'm lost in the sound”, while the backing shouts “GO GO” ad libs. Later on, there's an additional “I let it go, I-I-I let it go, wild” post-chorus, where the beat sort of rolls over. And the bridge turns quiet so Jana can speak personally. The song is a harmless bop. On stage, the LED screen shows city skyscrapers, and the panel screens reappear. × Malta: Claudia Faniello - Breathlessly The juries will support Malta no matter what huh? Malta was a “jury qualifier” every single year before 2022. But I don't think 2017 needed to continue that streak. The song's message rubs me the wrong way. Claudia is basically saying that she's letting her partner “win” the fight just to make this relationship work. She calls it a “game”. She waits at their doorstep for the “storm” (argument) to begin, feeling tired, cold and breathless from the walk. But it reads like a lack of self-respect. And she's putting too much effort into this (an “acrobat for love”). She seems confident it'll work though. Maybe it is her fault, the context isn't given. Regardless, the song is still pretty boring. It begins as a slow-moving piano ballad, featuring a couple of whistle sounds. Then the strings emerge in the chorus alongside soft footsteps. While the second verse adds the drums to liven things up. But the first half of the song is so sluggish and the second half doesn't lead to anything worthwhile. The melody is plain too. The backing vocalists don't elevate it much. And there's just not much going on here. The LED screen, meanwhile, shows a blue image of Claudia's face singing along. ✓ Romania: Ilinca feat. Alex Florea - Yodel It! “Yodel It!” walks that fine line between catchy and annoying. I'd say it does a better job than the other novelty entries this year. The pair brings fun, friendly, uplifting energy and they have great chemistry. Alex even jumps on top of cannon at one point. The staging is based on the “make love not war” slogan. The song likewise begins with marching band drums and toy soldiers on screen, as Alex hypes up the crowd. The intro then finishes on a splash sound. Whereas a casual drum beat carries the verses, as Alex raps in a flow similar to “Hall of Fame” by the Script. Here, he encourages people to show their true selves. Ilinca also interjects with her goat vocal to inspire positivity, and to add a “bring it on, bring it on” hook. Somehow these two styles work together. The chorus then switches to a stronger, propelling drum beat, as Ilinca unleashes her yodels and Alex ad libs in between. It's done in a very catchy way. They also bounce on the spot during it. The yodelling is camp but it represents acting freely. The bridge then stops the beat, where Ilinca loses the goat voice and feels turmoil over her 9-5 desk job. The stress escalates right after – the strings grow, the percussion blasts like cannons, and the guitars jab. Throughout the song, there's colourful images on screen; like clouds, butterflies, crumbled paper, and the song title. Fun fact: this song was originally offered to Timebelle as the Swiss entry. ✓ Netherlands: O'G3NE - Lights and Shadows The Netherlands take a break from the country genre and recruit JESC 2007 alum and The Voice of Holland 2014 winners O'G3NE. The trio of sisters provide impressive harmonies here, right from the a capella opening of “cry.. no more CRY NO MORE”. As well as their verse responses (ie. “Here in the shadow”), their vocal runs (“walk that road”; “shadooOOWS”; “you'll be FREEEE”), and the “WHY YOUUUUUU” transition. Moreover, the lyrics are meaningful. The song is directed towards someone experiencing depression. The line “You are so much more to me than the one who carries all the burden” gets to me. The girls sound empathetic and caring, but they're also resolute about facing it. They want to make a change. So they decree to not cry anymore. While in the bridge, they find it unfair how such a good person is so unhappy with themselves. The “Lights and Shadows” metaphor is about how light can't illuminate every space. The instrumental is a little plain, but it creates enough impact. The first verse contains a hint of guitar and inconsistent percussion steps. Then the chorus drum pattern punches along, ending on a short rise-and-fall thing. While the second verse further adds wood-clanging. There's also an electric guitar release leading into the second chorus. And the last chorus changes to a crashing drum breakdown for a moment. The staging, meanwhile, is simple. The screen displays holding hands and lyrics. And the floor shows a person's figure during the “angel” lyric. ✓ Hungary: Joci Pápai - Origo “Origo” describes Joci's personal experiences of being a Romani person (who are pejoratively known as “gypsies”). They often have a negative stereotype associated with them. In the intro, Joci states that he needs this person to love who he truly is because he's suffered enough. Then he demands they leave for being prejudiced (he also raises his hand during this), and curses them forever. While in the rap verse, he explains how he can only rely on God; that people were afraid of him as a child.; and that his music represents many other people's struggles. This rap section lets him properly vent. Moreover, I love the smooth traditional instrumentation. The song starts quiet, with a few folk guitar pings as the bass-line sneaks in. Then the fiddle solo gets the song moving, as Joci plays a Cegléd water jug, and the clappy beat enters. The camera also cuts to the fiddler on the audience platform during this. The next verses use trickling hand drums. While the later choruses add a more modern synth underneath. The final chorus also returns the clappy beat. It's a catchy chorus in how it repeats the Romani chant “Jálomá lommá”. Joci's interactions with the dancer on stage are compelling too. They dance together as the pyro encircles them. She kneels before him looking upset and then he helps her up. And she wraps her hands around him at the end. ✓ Denmark: Anja Nissen - Where I Am Denmark's first qualification since they hosted. And Anja's redemption after finishing second in DMGP 2016. She also won the Voice Australia in 2014. In fact, Australia was the only country to give this televote points in the final. I mean, the composition is pretty mundane, but I think the hook is effective (“Laying down my armour, Laying down my gun!”) and Anja is a qualified vocalist. She even delivers a big note in the last chorus as the fire rains down. The song is about her wanting to remove the walls she's put up around her partner. She knew it wasn't right, but it's tough to overcome. She's making an effort though. She feels ready because this person remained in her life despite her being closed off. And they've opened up before (“I know who you are”). The line “Don't know why I do it because we're together” makes a valid point. The song starts with the backing choir exclaiming the main hook, as Anja's face comes into focus. Then the verse production uses snaps and cool-air synths, finishing with a scuttling beat that leads into the chorus, where the drums take over and the vocals intensify. It's like she's screaming this resolution out loud. It's not the most remarkable production, but it's fine. The staging is simple, where Anja performs alone, but not in an awkward way. × Ireland: Brendan Murray - Dying to Try 2017 sure has a lot of boring songs. In this one, Brendan offers a heartfelt appeal with a sensitive vocal, but the pacing is so slow. There's such long (nervous) pauses between each phrase. The song doesn't even leave room for a second verse. And once the backing choir comes in, the audio becomes too dense. The song transitions from delicate to overdone. The lyrics are fine though. In the song, Brendan suggests trying out a relationship. He reassures that he's also scared. And he recognizes that this could either succeed or fail, but he's willing to take that risk. He'll do his best, but he can't promise it'll work out. He's being realistic. On stage, Brendan stands inside of a hot air balloon, because of the “learn how to fly” lyric. I wish the balloon was floating, but I don't know if that was feasible. There's also multiple fades to black. Musically, the song begins restrained with ghostly hoots and stretched-out piano notes; followed by heartbeat pounds and a few jabs. It takes a bit for the percussion to get going. Then around the 2/3 mark, the backing overtakes the scene and the drums strengthen. Then the song returns to softness at the end. In the end, this became the 4th consecutive non-qualifier for Ireland. × San Marino: Valentina Monetta and Jimmie Wilson - Spirit of the Night 1 whole point for Valentina's 4th appearance, and for Ralph Siegel's most recent composition. This was an obvious flop. The song isn't very dynamic – it's quite repetitive by the end of it. The title phrase is said too many times. The disco production is generic. And the back-and-forth dialogue is so cheesy. I love how the website indicates who speaks which line lol, since they do trade lines frequently. Basically, Jimmie wonders if Valentina is right for him and she replies to reassure him. He has doubts and trust issues from previous relationships. But they're done with waiting, so they decide to enjoy the night together. On stage, the pair brings some squirmy, antsy dance moves as they sing to each other with big smiles. But Valentina's dancing is quite... spontaneous. Their chemistry is too hammy to be cute. And the laughing in the bridge is too much. Otherwise, the song opens with a string roll-up. Then the verses are more intimate with heartbeat percussion. While the pre-chorus brings in the jogging disco beat to ignite the energy, featuring minor jackpot sounds, squiggles and guitar. Then the beat drops out for a clappy breakdown (not in the second chorus though). And there's multiple key changes! But the pre-chorus feels rushed and the chorus is “one note”. This is more “meh” than bad though. The “we (we) can (can)” hook is alright. ✓ Croatia: Jacques Houdek - My Friend No. It pains me that this is Croatia's best placement of the 2010s and their highest since 2006. It's also the last time they qualify until 2023. The whole concept is ridiculous. Jacques spends the song switching back and forth between English adult contemporary and Italian opera. The camera usually changes every time he switches too. He flips between these voices seamlessly, but as far as joke entries go... it's not that funny to me. In fact, the song is actually meant to be an inspirational anthem about living life. The theme is duality, since Jacques plays two different characters. In the spoken intro, he reads an Albert Einstein quote about optimism vs pessimism. He then advises seizing daily miracles. He later reveals that the miracle in question is life itself. The lyrics are pretty trite though. And he keeps calling us his friend. Musically, the song starts with violin, cello and piano. Then the clacking percussion comes in. The first verse moves at an easy pace. While the chorus employs clasping drums. Midway through, there's a sudden, vigorous violin/cello breakdown as the stage lighting goes dark. Then the overwrought backing choir intensifies the second verse, where the clasping drums are used dramatically. The chorus melody is kinda catchy, but this song is so annoying by the end of it. The screen, meanwhile, shows sunflowers and a rainbow at the end. ✓ Norway: Jowst - Grab the Moment Finally back to the good songs. This one didn't click with me until recently. The verses have a corny rap flow, but the lyrics describe the experiences of anxiety pretty accurately and uniquely. The narrator feels exposed and encroached upon. He needs to punch something. He pretends to act cool. He carries a heavy weight. He feels directionless. And he turns to distractions, which wastes his life away. But he vows to confront it and “Grab the Moment”. The pre-recorded vocal distortion hooks (which Norway was granted an exception to use) and the glitchy visual effects evoke this state of mind. As does the duelling faces animations representing the “voice in my head”. Indeed, anxiety is a voice in your head. So Jowst is the masked DJ on stage, while Aleksander Walmann is the uncredited vocalist. The song uses an electronic production to “get that good vibe going”. It features cawing effects throughout. The verses include snipped guitar notes. The pre-chorus sees the synths zoom in, leading to an distorted “ow-ow-ow” transition. The chorus follows a humming bass-line and a cowbell-like drum machine (where another concealed person hits one on stage). The second verse also adds snaps. And the last chorus skips midway. The production sounds modern and not something I'd associate with Eurovision, and I mean that in the best way. The stage looks cool too. × Switzerland: Timebelle - Apollo This was pretty close to qualifying, and I'm surprised it didn't. “I follow you Apollo” is such a memorable line. And that whole “I will never let you go... It is never easy...” part is so catchy. Maybe "Apollo" isn't the most essential pop song ever, but it doesn't have any bothersome qualities either. It would fit on any playlist. In the song, vocalist Miruna appeals to Apollo in an inviting and persuasive tone that will be hard for him to resist. Currently, their relationship is going through a rough patch, but she vows to not give up. However, she reveals in the bridge that Apollo isn't as willing because it isn't easy to fix things. But she reasons that it's not supposed to be. Musically, the verses use finger snaps, light piano notes, and a tambourine shake; followed by broken metal ticks and boops moving in. The beat stops then when the first chorus starts. The chorus is driven by drums and buzzing synths. While the bridge extends the chorus production, before reducing to just the piano and Miruna's delicate vocal. This helps set up the final chorus. She also faces the pianist during this part. The stage uses a pink and yellow aesthetic (ie. pastel colours). Miruna's yellow dress even matches the colour of the circular staircase she's standing on. ✓ Belarus: Naviband - Story of My Life #StandWithUkraine I'm going with the English title, since that's the one shown after the postcard, even though there isn't a single English lyric in this. This Belarusian folk song is somewhat annoying with all that “hey hey haiyayayah yo” shouting, and that bird call at the end, but it's a memorable chant. The song is also bursting with joyous energy. There's a valiant chorus melody. And the duo has nice chemistry. Ksenia's arm movements hype up the audience too. The pair performs on an airboat on stage, while the screen shows buildings moving past and fireworks going off. It symbolizes them journeying together. The lyrics centre on the theme of moving forward through life. The duo sees the days and events that have passed, but they're anticipating what happens next. It's a new beginning. The instrumental, meanwhile, is very active and it wants jump to around for 3 minutes straight. It moves like choppy waves. And it follows a consistent drum and guitar rhythm. The verses are calmer than the chorus though. There's also a pattering drum thing that runs across every so often. I keep forgetting this qualified for some reason. ✓ Bulgaria: Kristian Kostov - Beautiful Mess Yeah, I'm putting Bulgaria at #1 again. “Beautiful Mess” is on another level from everything else this year. It's a beautiful pop ballad and Kristian is a great performer. His vocal contains so much emotional depth – like how he softens during “I don't want nothing more” and “on the wire”. Plus the production is high quality and modern. The “oh-ah-oh” chant is anthemic. And the “AND WE DON'T HAVE A THING TO LOSE” hook stands out. The lyrical meaning is encapsulated by the “Our love is untouchable” line. Kristian sings that chorus like he's fighting for it. He says they will withstand whatever adversities or disruptions are thrown their way, even under extreme strain. They're also unsure how to cope, leaving them in this “Beautiful Mess”. The title is an oxymoron that means loving a flawed situation. The song opens with a muffled effect, like a strained whimper, while the first verse is guided by gradual, careful piano notes. The verses also contains tiny guitar pings. The broken metal tick rattles drop after the first chorus, where the melancholic whimpering returns, and a clacking percussion appears for the remainder of the song. The metal ticks last from the second chorus until the end as well. On stage, Kristian is surrounded by a circular array of panel screens, which go away during the drop. There's also a split-second teleportation effect, white squiggly line animations, and a shower on the LED screen at the end.

× Lithuania: Fusedmarc - Rain of Revolution Yet another eccentric Baltic entry that I don't get. Viktorija's shrieking is annoying, especially during that “Yeah Yeah” repetition (and there's a lot of them). She sounds like she's about blow her lid. It's such an unpleasant hook and it doesn't flow with the song. Also, the central phrase “Feel the rain of revolution” just sounds like nonsense. The opening verse uses bad grammar too (“life like roller coaster”). The song is about “making a [new] start” and “breaking irrational fears”. But Viktorija's offbeat vocal style makes it impossible to take the message seriously. She acts as if she's imparting this revolutionary philosophy. But it's like she's playing a character. And her vocal melody is too bumpy. The instrumental isn't that revolutionary either. The song opens with some introductory horns, with plenty more horn releases afterwards. Then the drums push the verses forward, alongside a whirring sound. While the pre-chorus adds some piano notes to it. The chorus then throws in the cymbals, as she sings “Yeah Yeah” over the backing. The first chorus also slows into a heartbeat pound. There's also a “Dance to the rhythm of the soul” breakdown, where the backing members clap and the percussion booms. As for the staging, it has a red aesthetic. The visual effects include the camera spinning upside down during the “upside down” lyric. And a spinning fire effect on the floor. × Estonia: Koit Toome and Laura - Verona Koit returns from 1998, to pair up with Laura, who was a part of Suntribe in 2005. “Verona” is an undeniably catchy song that's committed to its metaphor but the live performance is a mess. The duo spends most of it physically separated. The camera switches between them frequently, sometimes with the other person's face on screen. But whenever it cuts to Koit, he looks too intense. Which is strange since his '98 entry was so genuine. The pair unites towards the end, but the chemistry is awkward. The song is a reference to Romeo & Juliet, which is set in Verona. Here, “Verona” has double meaning (ie. “lost in-” vs. “lost our-”). The former is an unresolved limbo – and the duo's tone sounds like they're helplessly and tragically trapped in one. The latter is the missing spark between them. They were reckless. The “romance turned to drama”. And now neither one will apologize. Musically, the song uses echoing, dramatic production. Laura starts things off (with a mic fail). Her first verse is like a slow, sorrowful walk down an empty hall. It opens with a lute-like flick, followed by echoing snaps and crashes. The beat picks up and begins to push things forward when Koit struts onto the stage. This part is partly driven by a light, restless guitar and a few caw effects. The beat then stops for the “WE ARE LOST” breakdowns, which switches to dramatic slams, leading to more percussion echos. There's lots of hooks here too – like the “Ah-Uh-Ah-Uh-Oh-Oh-Ah-Oh”s, the “we are lost in Verona!” shouts, and the epic “WE ARE LOST” parts. ✓ Israel: Imri - I Feel Alive This is kind of basic. Sure, Israel delivers another smart choreo routine here, the “breaking me to pieces” hook is decent, and the dance-pop production has a darker tone. The “fragile” part sticks in my head too. But the song is lacking personality and the melody is kind of forgettable? Which is a shame since Imri has charismatic stage presence. The song starts with some rigid dripping synths, as the screen graphics throb in sync to it. Next there's the finger snaps. Then the beat stops before the strings emerge and the synths build-up into the drop, while an image of Imri “breaks into pieces” on screen. After the drop, the spraying dance synths take over with some backing “oh oh”s and Imri holds a long “ALIIIIIIIIVE” as the fire erupts. The energy continues through the second verse (with a couple of vocal squeals) and into the next chorus (with more drips). The dancers also appear during the second verse. Then there's a traditional instrument break (which is the best part). The song is about Imri returning home after working abroad to see his lover again. He's been waiting a while for this. It's broken him into pieces. And now he feels alive. He brings a positive tone, which contrasts the more dark instrumental. My Ranking: 01. Bulgaria: Kristian Kostov - Beautiful Mess ✓ 02. Hungary: Joci Pápai - Origo ✓ 03. Netherlands: O'G3NE - Lights and Shadows ✓ 04. Norway: Jowst - Grab the Moment ✓ 05. Serbia: Tijana Bogićević - In Too Deep 06. Romania: Ilinca feat. Alex Florea - Yodel It! ✓ 07. Estonia: Koit Toome and Laura - Verona 08. Switzerland: Timebelle - Apollo 09. Denmark: Anja Nissen - Where I Am ✓ 10. F.Y.R. Macedonia: Jana Burčeska - Dance Alone 11. Israel: Imri - I Feel Alive ✓ 12. Belarus: Naviband - Story of My Life ✓ 13. Ireland: Brendan Murray - Dying to Try 14. San Marino: Valentina Monetta and Jimmie Wilson - Spirit of the Night 15. Austria: Nathan Trent - Running on Air ✓ 16. Malta: Claudia Faniello - Breathlessly 17. Lithuania: Fusedmarc - Rain of Revolution 18. Croatia: Jacques Houdek - My Friend ✓ So many bad songs in this one too. I think part of what drags this year down is the semi-final results.

Kyiv 2017 – Semi-Final 1

Host: Ukraine Slogan: “Celebrate Diversity” Participants: 42 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host General Overview: We go from one of the best Eurovision contests (2016) to one of the worst (2017). Of course, whoever followed Petra and Måns was going to disappoint. That's a high bar to live up to. Indeed, this year's hosting team is a return to the forced, overly scripted dialogue and badly delivered jokes. They really went with the slogan “Celebrate Diversity” and then chose 3 white guys to host the show (Oleksandr Skichko, Volodymyr Ostapchuk and Timur Miroshnychenko). Moreover, the song quality is also a downgrade from 2016. Most of the first semi-final entries are mediocre. It's like every song is missing something to make them properly click. There's just something “off” about this year. Portugal and Romania both return for 2017. Which means it's two years in a row where the winning country didn't participate in the previous contest. Meanwhile, Bosnia is out indefinitely. And Russia withdrew after Julia Samoylova wasn't legally allowed to enter Ukraine. Which seems like deliberate provocation by Russia. She was originally set to perform in the second semi-final. The show opens with a collection of Ukrainian women displaying their traditional clothing. Then we go to the live stage where Monatik performs “Spinning”. There's woodwind nudges and some fun choreo. The interval, meanwhile, includes two performances from Jamala. The first is “1944”, but with an orchestra added to the original production to make it more intense. The second is “Zamanyly”, which involves another intriguing instrumental and string dolls on screen. I added it to my playlist! There's also a filler segment starring Verka. Portugal tops both the jury and the televote in SF1. The juries saved Australia (which they ranked 2nd) at the expense of Finland. While the public saved Belgium and Poland at the expense of Georgia and Czechia (which they ranked last). Yeah, I agree with the televoters in all of those cases. Imagine “Keep the Faith” qualifying over “City Lights”.

✓ Sweden: Robin Bengtsson - I Can't Go On We kick off 2017 with last year's host country! Which gives Sweden another top 5 placement. This is an obvious choice for the opener with how the scene begins backstage. The camera shows Robin walking forwards, as the squirmy synth-line,  mixed with snaps and clasps, slides in. Then a random hand holds his mic. Then, once the beat kicks in, the camera zooms out to show the backing where they all strut forward, and look sideways during the “ohh” hooks. Following this, the pre-chorus diminishes to a murmur, allowing the chorus to shove its way through. The ensemble, now on the main stage, walks on treadmills to that chorus rhythm and give “okay” hand signals. The chorus also includes synth responses and muffled “ah ah”s. In the second verse, the group slides back-and-forth and opens their jackets one at a time. While in the bridge they shuffle their feet. The stage also goes dark before the second chorus for no reason. Meanwhile the LED screen displays 1980s synthwave imagery. Sweden went for slick, stylish and confident staging here. But this is a “style over substance” entry. It lacks heart. The song, which was co-written by 2013 Robin, is about Robin B wanting to bang this girl because she looks so “freakin' beautiful”. She has a spell over him. The “wanna go OHHH” hook even sounds like an orgasm. But the “freakin'”s are unnecessary (he said the actual F-bomb in Melfest). And the chorus underwhelms to an extent – maybe the lyrics are too short. Still, the song is super catchy and it always gets stuck in my head. 2017 remains my favourite Melfest that I've followed. “Wild Child”, “En värld full av strider”, “A Million Years”, “Hold On”, “As I Lay Me Down”, and the robbed “Statements” from Loreen are all great. Even Anton’s “Stitches” rip-off is catchy. Robin wasn't my preferred winner though. × Georgia: Tamara Gachechiladze - Keep the Faith Georgia is the unlucky 11th placer of SF1, with this over-dramatic orchestral ballad. The song title says it all – Tamara wants to urge and encourage us to “keep the faith” alive. To not let anyone push you around or steal your dreams. She offers her support in this. And she repeats the phrase “KEEP THE FAIIIIIIIIIIITH” like she's holding on for dear life. But the tone is way too serious. And her hand gestures are distracting. She does a shooing motion when she demands “GET OUT”, she wags her finger during “don't you let them”, and she extends her hand on “hold my hand”. She also release a smoke puff. And she takes her cape off in a pointless costume change. The song, meanwhile, begins with an unsettled, grim piano. Then the strings expand as things progress. The second verse also adds the drums, where Tamara refutes the assumption that she's had it easy, even sounding annoyed about that perception. While the bridge introduces the distressing, invasive backing vocalists (“WOAH, WOAH”). Followed by Tamara unleashing a big note as the pyro erupts. But the orchestra becomes SO tense by the end of it. And along with Tamara's big vocals and the backing, there's just too much going on. It's basically an overwrought, unfriendly, wall of noise. And the pyro only adds to this overloaded feeling. The red and white stage aesthetic works for Georgia though. ✓ Australia: Isaiah - Don't Come Easy 171 jury points and 2 televote points. What a drastic difference in opinion. So once again, Australia hires DNA Songs to write their entry. And once again, the artist is a TV talent show winner – Isaiah won the final season of the X Factor Australia. The song can be best summed up as: good lyrics, boring melody. "Don't Come Easy" is about Isaiah's partner wanting to advance things from casual to serious, but he's hesitant to rush into things again because of his past experiences. He says a relationship isn't easy and it has a cost. But he clarifies that he isn't heartless – he's just taking a mature, sensible and self-aware approach. The instrumental is too bare and insipid at times though. It kinda reminds me of “Stay With Me” by Sam Smith. The song starts with faint piano notes, as Isaiah turns around on a pitch black stage and then walks sideways. The staging also involves a bunch of images of himself sprawled across the LED screen... which never works. The second verse, meanwhile, introduces finger snaps and this jolting effect that creates cracks in the surface. The jolts add a unique quirk to the song at least. The percussion also crashes harder in each chorus. The final chorus even brings out the fire rain. All in all, Isaiah gives a heartfelt performance here, but it's not that catchy of a song. It's too mild. × Albania: Lindita - World Another ballad! “World” is a Eurovision peace song, where Lindita is bewildered and disheartened by all the wars and needless death. So she makes a call for love to unite us all. It isn't a cheesy or an overly-serious peace song. The lyrics are general and don't refer to any specific conflict. But that message is so overused in this contest. Her vocals sound “off” in the beginning as well... but thankfully they improve after that. Like when she unleashes that super long note later on, which is actually the main highlight of this entry. Otherwise, the song opens with some agonized piano slams against a misty stage. The chorus has a nice “WHAT'S THE FINAL CALL” ascent. The second verse adds the hollow drum clicks. The second and third choruses are fuller than the first and are somewhat angst-y, thanks to the drums, vocals, and the backing “ohhhh”. The bridge, meanwhile, adds some strings, followed by the stage lights turning on to the rhythm of a horn descent, and a tenser drum rumble. On stage, Lindita stands in a wedding dress (for some reason) and makes love hearts with her hands. The screen shows clocks and floating cities. ✓ Belgium: Blanche - City Lights Belgium was on a hot streak. I didn't understand the appeal of Blanche's nervous performance at first. It's like she's about to cry from stage fright. Her husky vocals sound shy and hesitant. And it's like she's out of step with the production. But the song is about feeling scared and powerless over the future of this relationship, so it fits. She's meant to sound fragile and uncertain. Like how she keeps asking “are we going to lose it all?” for reassurance. In the song, Blanche offers her hand to her partner, who's secluded themselves. She tried to resolve their issues before but has since learned to accept them. The lyrics switch from “bright eyes” to “dark eyes” to signify this too. While the titular “City Lights” represents the couple's surrounding environment. Moreover, the “All alone in the danger zone” hook is memorable, and the production is entrancing. The song opens with slow piano notes, like taking a deep breath. Followed by finger snaps, where Blanche raises her arms to each snap. The verses then employ this tangled phone-ringing sound; alongside drum snaps and a slight bass-line. While the chorus follows spread-out piano notes, featuring submerged synths at first and city night synths later on. Later, the song reduces to just the piano and finger snaps to set up a stronger-sounding finale. The stage, meanwhile, uses a blue and white aesthetic, spotlights and moving lines on screen. × Montenegro: Slavko Kalezić - Space Yeah, this isn't my cup of tea. The spinning ponytail is a fun moment I guess, but that's the only positive thing I can say about this. It's a pretty campy sex song with all the space metaphors, like how Slavko's “spaceship” is ready to blow. The sensation will send them to the stars. There's no need to worry because he has his spacesuit on. Yeah, these lyrics are dumb. Especially that whole “Our body language / Rocket to the starts!” part. Moreover, Slavko uses a talking voice during the first verse, which I'm never into. His vocals are unappealing even outside of that. Plus the “we're taking off!” outro goes on too long. And the production sounds cheap. Otherwise, the song begins with a slam and rigid dripping synths before the clappy beat comes in. Then the disco instrumental takes over the chorus. As for the performance, Slavko moves all around the stage, with plenty of arm and hip movements, while wearing a tight see-through shirt. He rips off his skirt at one point. And he spends the second verse laid down on the floor. He entertains the audience all by himself. And he doesn't take anything seriously here, especially with this eccentric vocal tone. But this is the kind of un-serious entry that doesn't work for me. × Finland: Norma John - Blackbird The soundscape is beautiful, but the pacing is pretty slow. “Blackbird” establishes a dreamy atmosphere, complemented by Leena's angelic vocals, particularly on the “YOUUUUU”s. (Note: Norma John is a duo, not a person. The pianist, Lasse, is the other member). The instrumental paints the image of looking out the open bedroom window, as the sounds and sights of nature drift in. It's guided by a careful, delicate, gradually-paced piano. It's like time has slowed down, and you notice the long intervals between heartbeats. It's as if Leena is sitting alone in thought, stuck in this one moment of time, unable to move. There's also a scratchy distortion effect in the mix. And there's a nice piano solo during the instrumental break, where the strings make their presence. As for the lyrics, they're straightforward – Leena wishes that the blackbird below her window won't sing because it conjures up sweet memories of her past relationship, which makes her miss it. The song is written like amateur poetry, but she sounds torn up about it. The stage, meanwhile, involves a smoking piano, blue watery swirls on screen, and a misty floor, which adds to the atmosphere. ✓ Azerbaijan: Dihaj - Skeletons Hmm, I think Azerbaijan is trying too hard with the artistic staging. It starts in this chalkboard room that resembles a TV show set, while Diana shakes in torment on a bench. It's as if she's in locked in detention. The lyrics are written on the chalkboard too. The camera then pans upward to show a horsehead guy on a stepladder. Soon after, the chalkboard is dismantled, and Diana marks an “X” on the backs of the backing members. There's also a hand movement accompanying the “drum drum drum bring down the guns” hook. Which has to be the most awkward hook of 2017. And it's not the only unusual lyric - there's also “we're like alchemy” and “have my skeletons”. The song is about Diana unexpectedly falling for a bad boy, and how it changes her interests. She's ready to give him everything... but the backing chant of “I can only trick you once, bad boy” indicates that he won't keep interest. And the “bring down your guns” bit suggests hostile behaviour. As for the production, the song is powered by thumping, ground-shaking percussion slams throughout; which are heavier in the chorus. While the verses further use a brewing bass-line, trickling synths and a slight cowbell? Diana's voice is softer and higher in the verses as well. The second verse also adds a clasping sound. Despite everything, the song is catchy and different, and I appreciate the effort. Diana acts the part on stage. She's always doing something. ✓ Portugal: Salvador Sobral - Amar pelos dois (winner review in Grand Final post) ✓ Greece: Demy - This Is Love More like this is generic 2012 dance-pop. Not only does "This Is Love" sound dated by 2017 trends, but Demy doesn't give any passion or excitement to the song. The track opens with an orchestral warm-up, followed by the piano, as Demy comes to the conclusion that it's best to end this relationship. But then, once the skidding beat enters, she suddenly changes her mind. There's an “echo in her head” that she's making a mistake, even though it could be self-destructive. The pre-chorus has this easy melody to it. Then the “forever and ever and ever and ever” bit sets up the drop, where the synths hyper-accelerate, the industrial-sized dance beat takes over and Demy exclaims “THIS IS LOOOOVE”. The production switches just like her mind does. But the chorus just flat-lines. It's meant to express euphoria, but it just comes off generic, both musically and lyrically. Still, the second verse ends with a short marching drum bit and a nice melody on “Watch the sun set in the sky”, followed by constant tapping in the pre-chorus build. On stage, there's two shirtless guys splashing in the water. There's raindrops on screen. And there's a rainfall filter used before the instrumental bridge, where the strings come out and an underwater person is shown. Overall though, this doesn't do much for me. ✓ Poland: Kasia Moś - Flashlight “FIRE... like a burning DESIRE”. Well that's an overused rhyme, but I don't care. This is melodramatic in the right way. The song tells a story of forbidden love, where Kasia and her partner sneak around at night while being hunted down. I assume the “flashlight” and the “dogs” refer to the police. The couple acts fearless and daring; defying what is acceptable. They're able to escape though, which gives the song a hopeful message. She can hypnotize those dogs! The atmosphere captures this feeling of being chased too. It paints the image of them hopping over fences, crossing train tracks, and heading to the dockyard. The song opens with some scuttling footsteps, as the production swells into a bang, followed by that serious “smoking gun” lyric. The first verse production is more restrained and sorrowful, before the forceful, slamming, hollow percussion emerges in the chorus. There's a violin that runs through the track too. Later in the outro, the drums and strings become louder and approaching, with some added bells; as if they're being cornered. Kasia then finishes on a big note. She brings a very strong-willed, fighting tone to the entire song. There's a sense of determination here. On stage, the screens depict ghostly animal figures and birds scattering. It finishes with the word “Freedom” spelled out before it turns into other languages and more birds. ✓ Moldova: SunStroke Project - Hey Mamma WTF at this finishing in 3rd place. “Run Away” was better and that didn't even make top 20. Although I can understand how “Hey Mamma” was a breath of fresh air in this line-up. The song has a laid-back and uncomplicated atmosphere, and the band provides another fun stage performance. It involves a simple dance routine – ie. the single foot-tapping and turning sideways bit; as well as the marching on the spot moments. They also interact with 3 brides who sing into their bouquet-microphones (in typical weird Moldovan staging). The brides throw the bouquets into the audience at the end, which is cute. The screens are also used well, by showing a hall of mirrors illusion. "Hey Mamma" marks the return of the “Epic Sax Guy” meme from 2010. He delivers another catchy sax riff that's repeated throughout... but it's such an irritating sax riff. Musically, the verses are driven by these consistent, rigidly dripping clacks, that move into focus in the intro. While chorus adds the fiddle and a percussion build-up. The latter leads to an instrumental pause on “She'll be back home till sunrise” before the sax breakdown swoops in, which is back by this repressed, squirmy synth. The lyrics have a lighthearted tone, where singer Sergei reassures “mamma” that this girl will be safe with him tonight. But the word “mamma” is repeated too much towards the end. × Iceland: Svala - Paper I've seen criticisms over the English translation. Sure the "paper" metaphor is weird, but I think the lyrics sound absolutely fine? The only flaw to me is the forgettable staging. Svala mostly moves her arms around and points in her white cape thing – I assume this is because paper is white. And the green strobe light doesn't do much. Anyways, the song is about Svala dating someone who keeps pushing her away and dragging her down, which makes her feel like “paper”. The chorus expands on this metaphor, since “cut”, “glue”, “drawing”, “color”, “thousand words” are all associated with paper. Basically, paper is a material that's easily affected, just like she is. But she cares too much about him to give up. It sounds like he's facing mental health issues. Svala gives an empathetic tone as well. Plus the 1980s synth-pop production is right up my alley. The verses move to a rotating pattern of hollow wood sounds, repeated taps, and solitary claps. While the chorus radiates and bubbles, alongside drum slams and sparkly synth responses. The production later cools off before the last chorus. The frequent “PAAAAAAPER” shouts and the “Drawing every bit of my truth” bits are catchy as well. × Czech Republic: Martina Bárta - My Turn Czechia is back to flopping for now, although the juries were into it. There's a nostalgic, reminiscing vibe in “My Turn”; like sitting on the front doorstep on a calm night. But it's a pretty boring song overall. The singsong melody during “now that you are falling...” and “heaven knows that I'll be...” is annoying in how it bobs up and down. I don't really like how Martina sings this. And she isn't given much to do on stage. She sits down at the start to give a personal approach. And follows a yellow line on the floor. While the screen shows the music video, where a crowd of sad-looking people wander around in their underwear. The song is mainly a piano ballad, with cymbal shimmers sprinkled throughout, and tambourine(?) bell clicks from the second verse. The strings appear later, as do the drums towards the end. But it moves at this nonchalant pace. The lyrics contain a sweet message though. Martina explains how her partner was there for her doing her bad times, so now she wants to return the favour. The chorus concludes by saying “now it's my turn”. But it feels a little too sentimental, in an unnecessary way. The “baby it's you”s are an okay hook though. ✓ Cyprus: Hovig - Gravity The third year in a row where Cyprus receives basically the same placement (21st/22nd). “Gravity” is also the only Thomas G:son offering of 2017. The song is driven by this relentless pushing down rhythm. It's an imposing production that includes strong claps, nosediving ruptures, short screeches, bass notes, and click-clacks. It reminds me of “Human” by Rag'n'Bone Man, but it's an addictive sound. Both songs make me think of jangling chains. There's also a drum bit before each chorus. And a brief pause after the bridge. The LED screen matches the beat by displaying this white wall that routinely breaks into cubes and then resets itself. While on stage, Hovig and the backing walk across “balance beams” drawn on the floor to showcase the “Gravity” concept. They also hold their legs in the air, punch the floor, and toss Hovig back and forth in silhouette lighting. It's a little corny, but he kinda sells it. Hovig later lays on the floor as the graphics crumble into a nebula beneath him. In the song, Hovig offers himself up to this person, promising to be supportive of them. He basically lists everything he could be for this person – a hero, fantasy, remedy, company, someone to lean on, someone to catch them, their wings. The song is a bop though; the commanding chorus is instantly catchy and flows nicely. ✓ Armenia: Artsvik - Fly with Me I completely overlooked this in 2017, but it's an alluring song. Much like Armenia's 2014 entry, “Fly with Me” doesn't follow a conventional structure. Instead the song progressively builds for a while until the finale. It starts with a soft piano prologue, where Artsvik introduces this mysterious “girl with history”, while the stage is filled with red light. The mystical atmosphere drifts in after this; first with the bass-stringed instrument that nudges things along, plus some whispers. Then the two backing members spring into view. Then the camera violently shakes upon the distortion sound (Armenia kept the dizzying camera work from the last year!) Following this, there's an “EEEEE” chant where the hand drums appear. Those hand drums will return for the first “chorus”. Meanwhile, the backing members make hand movements around Artsvik, including a cool moment where their arms poke into the frame. At the climax, a different stringed instrument comes in, the pyro erupts, the drums heighten, and Artsvik's voice soars for the finale. The lyrics are written like a vague dream. They describe a girl who observes her surroundings and flies high from love; holding on to her belief in it. The music likewise flies high over mountains. I'm able to get lost in this imaginative place during the song. × Slovenia: Omar Naber - On My Way Oh boy. I enjoyed Omar's 2005 entry “Stop”, but this one is tedious, emotionally detached melodrama that doesn't justify the grandiosity. Omar sounds closed off singing this. He doesn't connect to the words at all. The melody is stiff. And there's no decent hooks. The “ON MY WAAAAY” shouts are tiresome. The song is about Omar leaving his hometown for good. The residents have been “very kind” to him, but he needs to spread his wings. Even though he isolates himself afterwards. He lets destiny guide him. The sentiment doesn't resonate with me though. He never explains why he's leaving and he's too serious about it. He can't trust anybody! He's never coming back! He's not gonna cry! It sounds like he's only doing this because he thinks it's what he's supposed to do. Moreover, the orchestra is as flavourless as chewing on cardboard. The song is mainly driven by the string section, but in a dry way. It feels overly full by the end too, including Omar's final big note. There's also a sputtering sound in the intro and broken metal ticks in the chorus, creating a mix of old fashioned and modern that doesn't really work. On stage, he's surrounded by this circular contraption of screens. This is a contender for worst the Eurovision entry of the 2010s. Zero redeemable qualities. × Latvia: Triana Park - Line We close out SF1 with the last placed entry of it. There's an indie-pop earworm built in the foundation of “Line”, but lead singer Agnese's quirky vocal style gets in the way. She mutters the chorus hook (“where.we.draw.the.line.”) in a low voice and delivers the “ALL. I. SEE. IS. YOU.” bit in this robotic, monosyllabic way. Her arm movements during the instrumental break are intense as well. The staging is memorable too, between the neon colours on the artwork panels and screens, the drummer's expressions, the guitarist's silver coat, and Agnese's oddball presence. In the song, her ex told her to move on, but she's leaving the door open for him, hoping he'll come back one day. She repeatedly asks where the boundary line is. It sounds like she's already crossed it, but she's unsure. Musically, the production and vocals tiptoe around for the first half of the song. "Line" opens with a vocal distortion, like being in a tunnel. Then the first verse subtly and constantly pokes before the chorus brings in the steel drum pings and finger snaps. After that, the second verse starts to move things along, before the beat stops for the “All I see is you” part. Finally, the rigid skidding dance-pop synths and guitars take over and Agnese stops using the low voice. This energy then breaks for the heartbroken bridge before building into the dance-pop again. My Ranking: 01. Iceland: Svala - Paper 02. Armenia: Artsvik - Fly with Me ✓ 03. Belgium: Blanche - City Lights ✓ 04. Poland: Kasia Moś - Flashlight ✓ 05. Cyprus: Hovig - Gravity ✓ 06. Azerbaijan: Dihaj - Skeletons ✓ 07. Finland: Norma John - Blackbird 08. Sweden: Robin Bengtsson - I Can't Go On ✓ 09. Albania: Lindita - World 10. Moldova: SunStroke Project - Hey Mamma ✓ 11. Australia: Isaiah - Don't Come Easy ✓ 12. Latvia: Triana Park - Line 13. Czech Republic: Martina Bárta - My Turn 14. Greece: Demy - This Is Love ✓ 15. Montenegro: Slavko Kalezić - Space 16. Georgia: Tamara Gachechiladze - Keep the Faith 17. Portugal: Salvador Sobral - Amar pelos dois ✓ 18. Slovenia: Omar Naber - On My Way

Stockholm 2016 – Grand Final

Host: Sweden Slogan: “Come Together” Participants: 42 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host Winner: Jamala - 1944 Country: Ukraine Points: 534 (54.3% of highest score possible) Language: English, Crimean Tatar General Overview: 2016 is usually regarded as the best Eurovision contest ever. I'd probably rate the 2012 songs slightly higher, but the hosting is outstanding. It's Swedish humour at its finest and the jokes don't feel forced. It's a 4-hour show, so we need entertaining filler segments. The presenters are, of course, Petra Mede (who also hosted 2013) and last year's winner Måns Zelmerlöw. They play off each other well. The Grand Final opening sequence isn't bloated like 2015 was. It starts with the artists preparing back stage. Then the Parade of Nations happens immediately, while a medley of Swedish House Mafia and Avicii songs are played. And that's it. We go straight to the host introductions after. The postcards begin and end with the dandelion logo. In between, the artists partake in various activities, as per usual. While the camera slowly zooms in on them as they pose looking serious. The country names are in a big, luminous white font. And then the camera looks down from the arena ceiling before each performance starts; alongside a whoosh/slam sound. The stage floor is shaped like the top half of a cross, featuring another platform in the audience. There's an entrance in the back that splits the LED screens into two piles of slanted, overlapping, horizontal ones on either side. The Green Room is in the audience as well. The interval is bloated though. First, there's a cool montage celebrating Swedish music from over the decades; including all 6 of their Eurovision winners. This country knows how to craft a catchy melody. Next, Justin Timberlake performs “Rocky Your Body” and “Can't Stop The Feeling!” But it feels weird to see a well-known American singer in Eurovision. It's never happened before (unless you count Celine Dion). At least the latter song was produced by Swedes (Max Martin and Shellback). But I'd rather see a Swedish artist perform. After that, we see a young Destiny Chukunyere as the most recent JESC winner. She will represent Malta in the adult version in 2020/21. Then it's the main event: “Love Love Peace Peace”! Where Petra and Måns disclose the formula to winning Eurovision. It includes several references to past entries, including a cameo from Alexander Rybak. It's a funny parody for sure. But that's not all! Lynda Woodruff returns from 2013 to mispronounce things again. The mockumentary from the semi-finals continues, showing how Sweden is obsessed with ESC. And Måns performs AGAIN. He sings “Fire in the Rain”, where they all roam on hoverboards, and a reprise of “Heroes” (with regular production this time). By this point I'm ready for the results.

2016 introduced a major change to the scoring: the jury and televote points are now calculated separately instead of combined. Which doubles the amount of available points. Sweden copied this format from Melodifestivalen. The new system generally favours countries that have imbalanced results in the two metrics. Previously, ranking 1st and 26th (which has happened) would net 0 points, but now that equates to 12 points. Which means everything is more spread out. Although the televote tends to be top-heavy. The biggest issue though, is how the EBU creates a fake score if a country can't produce a valid jury or televote. But it's all worth it for the increased suspense. I hated how they kept announcing the winners early in 2013-15. The finality feeling during the satellite calls is gone now. So how it works is: the spokespersons provide the jury result first, then the hosts reveal the televote afterwards. To reduce time, only the 12 points are said (instead of 8/10/12 previously). But it's clear that the EBU were new to this, since the hosts read off the #26-#11 televote points way too quickly. They also go in order of lowest to highest televote scores, when starting with the lowest jury vote is better. The progress bar during the jury scoring moves in the wrong direction too. Ultimately, Australia ran away with the jury vote, but the public preferred Ukraine. Otherwise, only THREE songs this year don't have any English lyrics at all. Belgium: Laura Tesoro - What's the Pressure The EBU sure loves to open the Grand Final with the SF2 closer. In fact, they're about to do it 3 years in a row. Czech Republic: Gabriela Gunčíková - I Stand They did this so dirty by putting it 2nd in the running order. 0 televote points?! Netherlands: Douwe Bob - Slow Down Azerbaijan: Samra - Miracle Hungary: Freddie - Pioneer Italy: Francesca Michielin - No Degree of Separation As of 2022, this and “La Mia Città” are the only Italian entries to miss the top 10 after their return. I blame the props. The staging looks tacky and the ripply visual effects are distracting. It goes for a garden paradise aesthetic, where Francesca stands next to a bunch of balloons and flowers... and 3D glasses. While the LED screen shows a tree and the floor resembles a pond. She also randomly grabs a fruit at the end. As for the song, it plays with the “6 degrees of separation” idea, by saying there's “0 degrees of separation” between Francesca and her lover. In other words, there's nothing standing between them. She explains how she was closed off, distant and cautious; how her mind overruled her heart. But she changed when she found love and didn't push it away. The instrumental starts minimal, where it sort of quivers and taps. The song's mood is like she's looking forward to her new life. The pre-chorus then swells up, as the percussion plops like raindrops, before the chorus fills the surroundings. The latter pushes in this choppy pattern like waves. The drums remain for the second verse, where her tone sounds like she's finished with her old self. She also switches to English for the second chorus. It's a nice melody, but the song isn't interesting enough to me. Side note: Stadio won Sanremo this year, but they declined, so the runner-up was selected instead. Israel: Hovi Star - Made of Stars Yeah, this is kinda boring. Bulgaria: Poli Genova - If Love Was a Crime Sweden: Frans - If I Were Sorry Sweden brings tropical house to Eurovision; which was a ubiquitous trend at the time thanks to artists like Kygo. The genre is based on establishing a chill mood. But “If I Were Sorry” is a watered down version of it. The song incorporates a series of minimal sounds, like holding bass notes, finger snaps, cracking echos, and tambourine bells. There's a lazy guitar that runs through it too. Meanwhile, the first pre-chorus and bridge break the energy, so the chorus can bring it back. The instrumental takes focus before the last chorus. And the song title is repeated frequently to maximize the hook-iness. Frans hesitates on the words “dance” and “enough” as well. But the song is kinda bland. What's worse is how Frans sings this with such a defensive and “holier than thou” attitude. He lists a bunch of extreme feats he'd do if he were sorry. He'd even do them again. But, as he states in the final line, he's not sorry. So he's saying this to prove a point: that he's a stand-up guy and his ex is at fault. The bridge turns spiteful too, where he calls out his ex's mistakes and lies. This bitterness turns me off. The chill production implies a celebratory and satisfied vibe as well, in the aftermath of this break-up. The staging is simple. Frans stands in front of an array of yellow lights that sometimes spell outs words. He also wears a smug smile and dances a little bit. This is the worst Swedish entry of the 2010s. This was the first Melfest final I watched live. Robin Bengtsson and Molly Sandén brought some bad pun titles, while Samir & Viktor's got shirtless. The runner-up, Oscar Zia's “Human”, would've made a better winner. Although my fave was Lisa Ajax's “My Heart Wants Me Dead”. Germany: Jamie-Lee - Ghost Another last place for Germany. Was it because of her outfit? The melody doesn't really go anywhere either. Sure, the “tell me who's scared now!” chorus hook leaps out. The backing highlights the “We don't need a lifetime...” part. And there's a “can we get an alternate ending” post-chorus. But these pieces don't do enough. The arrangement feels flat. Once the dense, ground-shaking, “boom-clap” drums take over, the instrumental remains stagnant. It only holds off for the transitions; like the synths before the chorus. The production is unfortunately similar to “Sound of Silence” as well. That said, the first verse establishes an eerie woods atmosphere. Then the pre-chorus adds some snaps and a ticking clock. There's an ominous, wispy wind throughout the song. In the lyrics, Jamie-Lee wants to start fresh with her ex; for them to rewrite their story and have an alternate ending. She feels there's no reason to wait. But the whole “this is the ghost of you / haunting the ghost of me” wording seems clunky. The performance begins with her standing as a silhouette against a full moon. While the stage incorporates a bunch of trees that beam green lasers for some reason. She also seems shy. Fun fact: this was actually Jamie-Lee's winner's single on The Voice in late 2015. France: Amir - J'ai cherché After four consecutive bottom 5 placements, France is back in the top 10! For the first time since 2009 too. No wonder, since that “YOU OU OU OU OU” hook that dominates the song is super catchy. Plus Amir brings an infectious smile, confidence, and personable stage presence. In the song, he reflects on his journey of looking for a meaning to life; through his trials and tribulations, failed relationships and drinking. He eventfully found it with his current lover. And he compares this arduous search to the difficulties of finding a perfect melody. In the bridge, he says that you won't find love if you give up. Musically, the song channels the pop-folk trend of the time. The verses follow an acoustic guitar, alongside sporadic, impatient piano slams. Then the pre-chorus introduces the clacking/clapping rhythm that rapidly bounces and bobs up-and-down. Which continues into the chorus, where the strings relax the tension. It's an energetic and excitable chorus. The second verse adds some tapping. While the second chorus drops down for a moment. Otherwise, the verses are in French and the chorus is in English. And the staging is simplistic. Amir performs alone, while celestial objects fly past on the screens. The floor also shows a galaxy of stars zooming beneath him at one point, and a moon later on. France is on the right track with this, but it's still missing something. Poland: Michał Szpak - Color of Your Life Australia: Dami Im - Sound of Silence The very last spot of the 1st half both times lol. Cyprus: Minus One - Alter Ego Serbia: Sanja Vučić ZAA - Goodbye (Shelter) Lithuania: Donny Montell - I've Been Waiting for This Night Croatia: Nina Kraljić - Lighthouse Yeah, this is kinda annoying. Russia: Sergey Lazarev - You Are the Only One Spain: Barei - Say Yay! Robbed. The “death drop” works much better here than the awkward silence in “Slow Down”. That's when Barei collapses as the music and lights turn off, then she breathes and gets back up. The next verse says to keep going in life even when it knocks you down, so it fits the message. The song is basically a pep talk. Barei wears a silver sports jersey. She greets us with a “hello hello”. She says the future is long and uncertain, so live for today. And she resists the urge to run away through the repetition of “running, running, running”. She also runs on the spot. The song opens with an intense piano note as the camera flies in. The first verse sticks to that serious piano, as Barei raises her voice. Then there's an extended build-up across two pre-choruses. She pumps herself up in the first one, and pumps us up in the second. The former is the “I FEEL ALIVE” + backing responses + finger snapping part. While the latter sees the piano jump out of its seat, eager to dance. And it's further elevated by disco strings. The song peaks in the dance breakdown that follows, featuring some “HURRAY” and “SAY YAY YAY YAY” shouts, as Barei shakes her knees. The second verse then uses lively piano and drums. And there's a mirrored split screen at the end. It's an energizing, dance-able, hook-filled song. It uses an effective escalation. And Barei gives a empathetic and caring tone. She wants us to be happy. My one complaint is that this is the only Spanish entry to not have any Spanish lyrics. Latvia: Justs - Heartbeat Back in 2016, this was the song that grew on me the most after the Grand Final. Ukraine: Jamala - 1944 (winner review below) Malta: Ira Losco - Walk on Water Georgia: Nika Kocharov and Young Georgian Lolitaz - Midnight Gold Austria: Zoë - Loin d'ici United Kingdom: Joe and Jake - You're Not Alone Another flop for the UK. Although I'm glad they steered away from internal selections this time. So Joe and Jake competed on the same season of The Voice UK and became a duo afterwards. The song sounds like something from One Direction's earlier albums. In the song, the duo offers themselves up as an ideal boyfriend, because this person makes them come alive. Which sounds selfish but there's an endearing quality to this. They say it in a way that sounds sweet and well-intentioned. They promise to be there for this person. To make them feel less alone. Meanwhile, the LED screen shows an array of faces to exemplifying a message of togetherness. Those faces jump along to the beat towards the end too. The song opens with some piano pings, but the instrumental is mainly pop-rock, with guitars and staggering drums. Those drums pull back during the first chorus, and return midway through it. While the bridge offers a soft moment. The composition and lyricism seems amateur though. And the “Know oh uh oh” and “I, I, I” hooks feel deliberately shoehorned in. But the duo's friendly stage presence and smiles make it better. The staging lighting is decent too. Armenia: Iveta Mukuchyan - LoveWave This doesn't really work as a closer. The Winner: Ukraine achieves their second victory, with a gap of just 23 points. Which is the closest top 2 since... Ukraine won the first time in 2004. Furthermore, “1944” is the first winner since “Molitva” in 2007 to include lyrics that aren't in English, albeit partially. So it's nice to see the recent trend of landslides and 100% English language champions be broken here. This felt like an underdog victory too. Ukraine were #3 in the final odds, and lower before that. They didn't win the jury or the televote... or the semi-final for that matter. But they still found a way to the top. Apparently Australia would've won under the 2013-2015 rules too. I didn't see it coming at the time either but I was pleasantly surprised when it happened. The song is about the 1944 deportation and genocide of the Crimean Tatars under the Stalin regime during WWII. It was inspired by Jamala's great-grandmother. There's probably a subtext of how the Russian occupation of 2014 brought back this trauma too. And it's only become more poignant in 2022. The opening verse sets the scene: imagine strangers invading your house, killing those you love, and then claiming they're justified in doing so. It sounds horrifying. Jamala, meanwhile, looks terrified to walk forward on stage and on the verge of tears. But she's being courageous at the same time. She doesn't beat around the bush with this – she confronts the injustice directly, using phrases like: “but everyone dies”. She also holds rosary beads during the performance; praying for this to end. The chorus is the section of the song not in English. It's from a Crimean Tatar folk song, about how she couldn't spend her youth there because the land was taken away. She repeats the same two lines in a self-meditative way. Or like an echo across the peninsula. Jamala sways around when she sings it too. In the second verse, she sounds more outraged, as she yearns for a free future. While the second “but everyone dies” line is said with derision, as the backing reinforces it. Jamala gives a very emotionally real performance here. She embodies exactly what this type of suffering feels like. It all reaches a breaking point just before the final chorus; which is the best part of this song – it's where Jamala looks up to heaven and lets out a scream that sends shivers down my spine, as a tree made of fire sprouts from her feet and onto the screen behind her. She lets out another shriek at the end too. The staging is perfect. “1944” doesn't need anything extravagant. The dark setting, the water cube at the start, the emanating fire patterns, the red cracks and flickering light beams in the second verse, and the aforementioned fire tree are enough. Musically, the song is dark and ominous. It opens with the traditional duduk instrument. After that, there's distressing, radiating bass notes, wooden clacking, and this scratching shaker sound. While the main percussion rhythm starts in the first chorus. There's a whimper after “our time”. The chorus includes faint wobbles. And the beat pauses before the big scream, allowing the pain to overwhelm her in solitude. While the final chorus is elevated by orchestral strings. It's a unique and intriguing production that captures the plight of the Crimean Tatars. It has a bleak atmosphere, but still shows signs of life. It paints the image of a displaced, homeless group of people crowded together. Verdict: “A” Tier. It's underrated, even by me at times. My Ranking: Grand Final: 01. Bulgaria: Poli Genova - If Love Was a Crime 02. Ukraine: Jamala - 1944 03. Armenia: Iveta Mukuchyan - LoveWave 04. Czech Republic: Gabriela Gunčíková - I Stand 05. Latvia: Justs - Heartbeat 06. Spain: Barei - Say Yay! 07. Belgium: Laura Tesoro - What's the Pressure 08. Serbia: Sanja Vučić ZAA - Goodbye (Shelter) 09. Australia: Dami Im - Sound of Silence 10. Austria: Zoë - Loin d'ici 11. Hungary: Freddie - Pioneer 12. Lithuania: Donny Montell - I've Been Waiting for This Night 13. Russia: Sergey Lazarev - You Are the Only One 14. France: Amir - J'ai cherché 15. Cyprus: Minus One - Alter Ego 16. Malta: Ira Losco - Walk on Water 17. Netherlands: Douwe Bob - Slow Down 18. United Kingdom: Joe and Jake - You're Not Alone 19. Israel: Hovi Star - Made of Stars 20. Azerbaijan: Samra - Miracle 21. Italy: Francesca Michielin - No Degree of Separation 22. Germany: Jamie-Lee - Ghost 23. Croatia: Nina Kraljić - Lighthouse 24. Georgia: Nika Kocharov and Young Georgian Lolitaz - Midnight Gold 25. Sweden: Frans - If I Were Sorry 26. Poland: Michał Szpak - Color of Your Life Full Ranking: 01. Bulgaria: Poli Genova - If Love Was a Crime 02. Ukraine: Jamala - 1944 03. Iceland: Greta Salóme - Hear Them Calling 04. Armenia: Iveta Mukuchyan - LoveWave 05. Czech Republic: Gabriela Gunčíková - I Stand 06. Latvia: Justs - Heartbeat 07. Spain: Barei - Say Yay! 08. Belgium: Laura Tesoro - What's the Pressure 09. Serbia: Sanja Vučić ZAA - Goodbye (Shelter) 10. Australia: Dami Im - Sound of Silence 11. Austria: Zoë - Loin d'ici 12. Hungary: Freddie - Pioneer 13. Lithuania: Donny Montell - I've Been Waiting for This Night 14. Russia: Sergey Lazarev - You Are the Only One 15. Bosnia & Herzegovina: Dalal and Deen feat. Ana Rucner and Jala - Ljubav je 16. France: Amir - J'ai cherché 17. Cyprus: Minus One - Alter Ego 18. Estonia: Jüri Pootsmann - Play 19. Albania: Eneda Tarifa - Fairytale 20. Malta: Ira Losco - Walk on Water 21. Belarus: Ivan - Help You Fly 22. Netherlands: Douwe Bob - Slow Down 23. Norway: Agnete - Icebreaker 24. Finland: Sandhja - Sing It Away 25. United Kingdom: Joe and Jake - You're Not Alone 26. Israel: Hovi Star - Made of Stars 27. Azerbaijan: Samra - Miracle 28. Italy: Francesca Michielin - No Degree of Separation 29. Moldova: Lidia Isac - Falling Stars 30. Germany: Jamie-Lee - Ghost 31. Slovenia: ManuElla - Blue and Red 32. F.Y.R. Macedonia: Kaliopi - Dona 33. Denmark: Lighthouse X - Soldiers of Love 34. Croatia: Nina Kraljić - Lighthouse 35. Georgia: Nika Kocharov and Young Georgian Lolitaz - Midnight Gold 36. Sweden: Frans - If I Were Sorry 37. Ireland: Nicky Byrne - Sunlight 38. Greece: Argo - Utopian Land 39. Poland: Michał Szpak - Color of Your Life 40. San Marino: Serhat - I Didn't Know 41. Switzerland: Rykka - The Last of Our Kind 42. Montenegro: Highway - The Real Thing “S” Tier: “Euphoria”, “Fairytale”, “My Number One” “A” Tier: “Every Way That I Can”, “Only Teardrops”, “Wild Dances”, “Rise Like a Phoenix”, “1944”, “Hard Rock Hallelujah”, “Satellite” “B” Tier: “Molitva”, “Heroes” “C” Tier: “Fly On The Wings Of Love”, “I Wanna” “D” Tier: “Everybody”, “Believe”, “Running Scared” “F” Tier: none!

Stockholm 2016 – Semi-Final 2

Host: Sweden Slogan: “Come Together” Participants: 42 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host General Overview: The second semi-final starts by rerunning the montage of various activities shown in SF1, which again culminates in the Globe Arena transforming into the contest's logo. Following this, Petra and Måns break into song (called “That's Eurovision”), where they comically explain what the contest is all about. It's basically a prequel to “Love Love Peace Peace”. It includes a tribute to “Riverdance”, as Petra jokes about how interval acts can't live up to it – ironic since this year's interval actually DOES live up to it. The pair also rapidly lists off every language to appear in the contest, which I found funny. Elsewhere, Petra and Måns do another taxicab driving segment; this time with a cameo from Lordi. But my favourite joke tonight is when Måns walks out naked with a wolf plushy after Belarus's performance. The ABBA mockumentary from SF1 continues into SF2; this time recounting Sweden's search for their successors, leading to Herreys. There's also a “Man vs Machine” sequence on stage, where computerized versions of famous pop songs are played, while 3 dancers and 3 robot arms imitate the respective dance routines. And later there's a filler segment about Eurovision numbers. Australia wins the second semi-final, as well as the jury vote; while Ukraine tops the televote. The televoters saved Poland in exchange for Slovenia. While the juries saved Israel and Georgia in exchange for North Macedonia and Belarus. Interestingly, Sweden is the only Nordic country to make the Grand Final this year.

✓ Latvia: Justs - Heartbeat Latvia has only qualified twice since 2008, and both songs were written by Aminata. In “Heartbeat”, she supplies a dark electronic production that reminded me of Adam Lambert's “Ghost Town” at the time. While Justs provides a gritty vocal to complement the internalized, agonizing, tormented atmosphere. He sings sensitively at first, as the backing lightly repeats certain words. He states how this other person's feelings were one-sided, so he he acted carelessly and this person moved on. But now he realizes he took them for granted and needs them back. His voice becomes raspier, more desperate and unrestrained as the song progresses. The yearning and the regret consumes him. Particularly on the “you're my desire and my pain” line. His dance moves are intense and animated towards the end as well. Musically, the song is filled with whoop effects and knocking synths. The bass line slides in from the start. Then the first chorus recedes by sticking to just the knocks. While the second and final choruses add a denser, fuzzier synth production. The 3 white lines on the stage floor turn fuzzy during this part too. Later, the bridge takes a rest with faint broken metal ticks, as the floor graphics crumble. This culminates in Justs shouting “I WANT YOU TO STAY”. The melody sticks with me. The “THAT'S WHAT I WANT” part sticks out too. ✓ Poland: Michał Szpak - Color of Your Life The most shocking result of 2016 was Poland receiving 222 televote points. And I've yet to understand why. “Color of Your Life” is a tedious inspiration ballad. Michał's message is directed towards those who are feeling down about life's changes. He says that pain and fear are a part of it. And he advises pursuing your true self. But the whole “Tell me black or white / What color is your life” question sounds corny and trivial to me. Like what does assigning a colour to my life even mean? And that question is the central focus of the song. The LED screen even displays those chorus lyrics! Although, I will say the chorus melody and the bellowing “OH OH OH”s are admittedly catchy. The song aims for an anthemic atmosphere, while Michał uses a tearful, pleading tone to implore this advice to us. But he over-sings and over-emotes in this performance. It's a little too melodramatic. He sounds especially intense on the final line. Moreover, the pounding percussion rhythm that runs through most of the song is tedious. It's like punching a wall out of frustration. But the beats are too blunt and the pacing drags. Otherwise, the song opens with some peaceful strings. The bridge recedes to the piano. And Michał appears to be wearing a historical red army coat. × Switzerland: Rykka - The Last of Our Kind The last placer of SF2. Unsurprising since “The Last of Our Kind” is a forgettable song and Rykka's vocals are noticeably flat. They sound unenthusiastic. They also look uncomfortable when they bend their knees to the rhythm of the chorus. Moreover, the melody is lifeless and difficult to get into. The song starts with a tranquil vibe; featuring light percussion beats and synth droplets, as smoke billows from Rykka's body. The production is too tame though. They ask this “soldier” to show their vulnerability. The melody picks up during the “Here we are at the end of the movie” line. Then the chorus brings in the stronger percussion; where the piano pushes down and the drums are like a squash ball hitting a wall. The final chorus sees the fire rain down on stage. But the song is lacking an anthemic atmosphere to warrant it. There's also an annoying beeping sound that's most noticeable in the second verse and bridge. The lyrics are about how modern day couples don't stick together through hard times anymore. But Rykka won't give up on this relationship; making their the “last of our kind”. The words have too many bland metaphors though. Overall, this entry is pretty uneventful and I wish it was more triumphant. ✓ Israel: Hovi Star - Made of Stars Sure, this is a boring and typical piano ballad, but Hovi is a decent singer and he gives a sensitive and compassionate performance. He offers support, reassurance and friendship to someone who is different; someone that feels oppressed. He begs them to not escape, trailing off with “no more, no more, no more...” He wants them to be proud instead. And he explains what he loves about this person. The first 2 minutes of the song are driven by the piano. This part has a sluggish pace but a graceful texture. While the strings become more noticeable in the second verse. The chorus puts things into perspective by stating a cosmological fact – that the elements in our bodies are made from stars. This chorus extends across the universe in an anthemic way. Hovi's voice has a sense of wonderment too. But this song is all about the bridge escalation – where the sawing strings, the quicker melody, and the “WE ARE (WE ARE)” shouts build tension. After which, the fire rain pours down, and the drums carry the final chorus. The stage has a starry night setting, with lights flickering across the arena. Hovi's glittery black outfit adds to this aesthetic. While a constellation of his face appears on the floor to whisper the line “you hypnotize me”. There's also two acrobats spinning in a hula hoop together. Hovi finishes the performance by shivering, looking like he needs to be consoled. × Belarus: Ivan - Help You Fly #StandWithUkraine Yeah, Ivan's vocals are sloppy, which leaves the backing to carry things at times, but any performance that begins with a naked man howling with a wolf is going to be memorable. And then he tells the wolf he'll help him learn how to fly! Something tells me that won't work. The holograms don't stop there though – next there's 3 wolves surrounding him; which transforms into a drummer; which transform into a guitarist. And there's an image of a walking toddler at the very end. Other than that, there's wolves on screen. The stage floor shows ice crumbling beneath him at one point. And the bridge uses a rainfall setting. As for the song itself, the verses contain 1980s synths and drums; with distant whimpers in the middle. While the chorus employs a pulsating, revving, grinding beat. It's like turning a knob back and forth. It's one of those choruses that's shouted out loud too. Otherwise, the intro establishes a wilderness vibe. And the bridge has the beat disappear, as Ivan goes for a falsetto scream. Lyrically, the song is addressed to anyone who feels unsure about themselves as they get older. To those who think they're the problem; to those who are the “hunted”. Ivan wants to help us be free from this. And he delivers his appeal with a smirk. The staging is ridiculous but the chorus is effective. ✓ Serbia: Sanja Vučić ZAA - Goodbye (Shelter) This reminds me of Slovenia 2011, but in the best way. “Goodbye (Shelter)” is a female empowerment ballad that builds in intensity. The song is about domestic abuse, where the “shelter” lyric likely refers to women's shelters. In the song, Sanja feels helpless. She fell for this man's lies countless times. She thought love was supposed to hurt. And every time she tries to leave, he reels her back in. Which is a cycle in abusive relationships. The chorus exemplifies this cycle by simply repeating itself – it's as if Sanja tries harder and harder to escape each time the chorus hits. But she projects a defiant attitude, showing that she's not trapped anymore. The last chorus also switches the “couldn't fight..” line to “I will fight”. Musically, the song begins with resentful piano notes, while female faces appear on the LED screen. The female backing looks dismayed as well. And the stage floor displays flower petals made of blades. There's a woodwind instrument after the first chorus. And the second verse brings in the drums. Meanwhile, a male dancer rushes in and Sanja fights off his advances. The backing then turns the later choruses into a haunting experience, with their “OH OH”s and their “find a shelter from the pain” responses. The bridge adds more “OH OH OH”s. While the final chorus sees the 5 women stand together in solidarity. The song becomes an unbreakable resistance by the end; with the harmonies, drums, strings and bells. × Ireland: Nicky Byrne - Sunlight This year, Ireland selects a former member of Westlife; as well as the Irish spokesperson the past 3 contests. I've never been into Westlife's music though. “Sunlight” is a pleasant and feelgood song that's well-suited for radio. And Nicky is a fine performer. But it's not that interesting or ambitious. There is a discernible melody here – like that whole “touch who you wanna / kiss who you gotta” part; as well as the “SUN...light!”hook. But the composition is bland and the lyrics are “meh”. In the song, Nicky promotes having a positive outlook on life. The “sunlight” title symbolizes undisturbed happiness. He offers his support and affection. And he lists off a bunch of examples of living in the moment in that “touch who you wanna...” post-chorus. It's an impulsive message. The chorus has a bouncy, soft rock drum and guitar rhythm. While the opening verse uses a twinkling keyboard to establish a sunny afternoon mood. The second verse keeps the drums, however, and adds an “oh oh oh oh oh” backing response. Nicky also releases the camera during the bridge, which doesn't really work. Afterwards, the song quiets and the stage darkens, before a drum rush transitions to the final post-chorus; where cymbal crashes are added for emphasis, and Nicky touches hands in the audience. × F.Y.R. Macedonia: Kaliopi - Dona The 11th placer of SF2. “DONADONADONADONADONA” has to be the most ridiculous and the most annoying hook of 2016. Kaliopi (who returns from 2012) sings that chorus in such an uncontrollable way, as if she's screaming in Dona's face and violently shaking her to grab her attention. Like she can't get through to Dona. It's quite hysterical. She brings cheerful smiles and confidence. And she adds an operatic vibrato to it, while the backing harmonies sound like a church choir. But that's my other issue with this song – it's too “church-y” for me. I'm almost certain the lyrics have a religious meaning. In the song, Kaliopi describes a person who is always there, someone she is grateful for, and someone that makes her feel strong. The “small clouds” and “pearl stairs” in the second verse could refer to heaven as well. The verses are more gentle, in an angelic way; as she stands in the spotlight. While the electric guitars drive the chorus; where her vocals go nuts, she extends her arms outwards, and the drums enter. There's a string break that follows the first chorus too. She later leans back for a big note. And at the end, she unleashes an ear-splitting shriek, as she once did in “Crno I Belo”. This is one hilariously OTT vocal performance. ✓ Lithuania: Donny Montell - I've Been Waiting for This Night Donny also returns from 2012; this time without the blindfold, and with insane amounts of stage charisma. This entry is essentially an improved version of Sweden 2013. The song starts with the piano to contrast the loud and immense chorus that surges in after. The former is more at ease; while the latter consumes Donny's entire surroundings – that's how powerful his feelings are in this moment. It's where the drums eagerly slam down with full force, the screen graphics and lights are in a frenzy, and Donny screams the song title from the rooftops. There's also a muffled “ooh ooh ooh” response. The chorus is a huge release of energy where the whole world shakes. He's overcome by his dreams coming true after all this waiting. He's taking in the moment, but he also wants it to last forever. He uses hyperbole too (“thousand years / million tears”). Otherwise, the second verse implements a snapping, tongue-clicking rhythm. The bridge is elevated by some “WAH AH OH”s; followed by a clappy build-up. And the song ends where it began. On stage, Donny displays confident choreography throughout. He twirls, his body briefly glows white, the camera focuses on his arm/hand movements, he stands with his legs spread apart, and the floor glows under his footsteps. But the big moment is when he does a front flip after taking off his coat. All in all, it's a very impactful entry. I'm so glad that “We Are the Winners” isn't Lithuania's only top 10 anymore. ✓ Australia: Dami Im - Sound of Silence The jury winner of 2016 and the runner-up overall. Australia started off so strong. Their second entry was produced by DNA Songs; who have worked with The Veronicas, Delta Goodrem, Samantha Jade, and Jessica Mauboy. And they'll compose more Aussie entries after this. While Dami Im is the winner of Australian X Factor 2013. She delivers THE vocal performance of 2016 here. She sings the verses restrained (aside from “MAKES SENSE”) and shouts the chorus in a powerful way. She also unleashes two big notes. The verses are a lonely moment of reflection; driven by an audible, tense heartbeat. It's so silent that's all she can hear. The song is about the difficulties of a long distance relationship; hence the “Facetime” lyric. Dami can't ignore the reality that this person isn't here and she keeps calling them (on the phone). She sounds a bit stressed too. A few drum strikes transition to the chorus, which is explosive by contrast. It's where the percussion pounds and splashes at a methodical pace; alongside yelp effects. It has a ground-shaking impact. It's also where the silence overwhelms Dami – that title phrase is inescapable. It's an addictive chorus, but it says “Sound of Silence” too many times... which limits the song's power. In the bridge, Dami reminds herself that she can do this. While on stage, she sits on a tall box, as city skyscrapers are shown behind her (representing “this crazy fast life”). She also swipes through holograms during the second verse; as profile pictures appear as well. × Slovenia: ManuElla - Blue and Red “Cause blue is blue and red is red”... that line is too easy to make fun of. This couldn't be more of a Taylor Swift copycat if it tried. ManuElla even looks like her. And the song is basically just “Red”, right down to the banjo intro. We're in Taylor's country era. Moreover, Manu's voice-cracking screams of “Ali-i-ive” during the intro, and before each chorus, are annoying. She closes her eyes and prays each time she does it. I guess she feels spiritually awakened? In the song, Manu doesn't like how this person tried to fix her. But she has since moved on; she's cast them aside, and she doesn't think about them anymore. But I don't get the “blue and red” metaphor. It represents how the two of them are complete opposites that don't mix together but... blue and red do mix together: THEY MAKE PURPLE. Otherwise, the song begins with a gunshot bang. Then the banjo and the foot-tapping drums give the verses some energy. The pre-chorus lyrics pause a couple times for mild banjo responses. Then the beat disappears before the first chorus hits. Said chorus hastily rushes through, like she's packing her things as fast as she can. The backing vocalists bolster it too. The bridge, meanwhile, contains a drum breakdown; followed by the pyro going off. There's also a dancer spinning around on a pole for some reason. This entry has some life and bite to it, but it comes off unoriginal. ✓ Bulgaria: Poli Genova - If Love Was a Crime Bulgaria returns better than ever! “Water” is no longer their only qualifier and Poli gets redemption for 2011. The production is very 2016 [3], thanks to the vocal squeals and broken beats. The song is also relentlessly catchy. It begins with a high-pitched squeal and piano; alongside a close-up shot of Poli's face. The verses are driven by a finger-snapping beat and synths, plus a cooing effect. This part has a hopeful and blissful vibe. The pre-chorus glides in with the title phrase, before building up with the broken percussion ticks. Then the song pauses before Poli defiantly shouts “THEY WILL NEVER BREAK US DOWN”. In the ensuing chorus, she repeats the Bulgarian phrase “Day mi lyubovta” (“give me love”), with yelp effects in between, while dancing. She brings such likeable stage presence to this. She also sings with a sweet, comforting and triumphant tone. The squeals reappear after the chorus. While the final chorus transition involves her breathing and a horn snippet; as the light strips on her clothes turn on (“when it's dark we illuminate” indeed.) At the end, the backing enters the stage to add an extra “TOGETHER WE'RE UNTOUCHABLE” hook and raise their fists. The chorus fills the environment and it's like a rallying cry – the song is about fearlessly loving someone despite what anyone says about it. Poli stands up with pride. She doesn't sound concerned at all that her love is a crime. Which it is in some countries, sadly. × Denmark: Lighthouse X - Soldiers of Love The MGP audience chose this bland boy band song instead of Anja Nissen's “Never Alone”, which I would've rated higher. The melody and instrumentation aren't anything remarkable here. Although the trio certainly enjoys their time on stage, with their carefree smiles, enthusiasm, and camaraderie. In the song, the group asks why do people give up on love so easily. Why do we stick to the unhappy status quo. They decide to go against this. Instead of waiting on someone else to fix things, they are going to take action – they make an appeal to make a new start. But the atmosphere is too neutral and too easygoing. The song doesn't make me feel enough. It begins with a piano riff. Then the mundane drum rhythm carries things. There's some yelp effects throughout. And the chorus contains a nice “take. my. HAND and never let GO” hook. But the concluding “And let's be soldiers of love!” part is anti-climactic. The bridge switches the drum pattern for a moment. And the song quiets before the last chorus, setting up an unwarranted pyro blast. ✓ Ukraine: Jamala - 1944 (winner review in Grand Final post) × Norway: Agnete - Icebreaker Norway's only non-qualifier between 2012-2022. I blame the abrupt production/tempo switches – the verse/chorus contrast isn't that cohesive here. It's like they glued two different songs together. Or someone keeps flipping the radio station back and forth. It doesn't flow smoothly enough. The lyrics are caring and heartfelt though. In the song, Agnete promises to save this person's life when they call for help. She struggles to get through to them, since they're in deep depression. The “We're too young to say goodbye” line is a poignant one. But she's not giving up. The song begins with some trickling, icy Eurodance synths, featuring double drum slamming adjustments that light up the stage. The stage has a dark and misty setting, featuring a dancer on a platform next to Agnete. The pre-chorus has a clapping-like build-up. Then the song holds for a second before the chorus introduces the slower and bulkier drum pattern to release the tension, alongside smoke puffs. There's a vibrating sound too. The verses have a tingling sensation, whereas the chorus is more like an avalanche. Or like a crack that's splitting the ice apart. An “Icebreaker” is a ship that literally breaks ice. The “Northern light” reference adds to this imagery. I think Agnete gives a decent performance too. She sounds serious. ✓ Georgia: Nika Kocharov and Young Georgian Lolitaz - Midnight Gold As of 2022, this is the last time Georgia has qualified. It's also the other Thomas G:son rock song from this year. “Midnight Gold” gives Oasis and Britpop vibes - Nika even has a convincing accent. But it has this lazy and sleazy atmosphere that doesn't appeal to me. There's no hook or catchy melody either. The song just wanders and stumbles around to this lingering guitar groove; with multiple guitar breaks throughout. It conveys the experience of waking up hungover, both musically and lyrically. Nika can't remember the previous night, but notices his hook-up partner in his bed. About halfway through, the instrumental switches to this hectic, garbled, oozing, William Orbit-like techno beat that lasts a while, against excessive flashing lights that give me a headache. Here, Nika recalls “stains of blood” on this person's skin. Which... sounds disturbing. The song ends by returning to its original guitar groove and it repeats the opening stanza; implying this is a cycle. Meanwhile, the visual effects involve mirrored split screens and flashes of a black-and-white filter. The camera spins upside down at one point too. The first half of the song captures the hazy morning after atmosphere, and the middle exhibits the slurred, drunken night before. I'm often into the Eurovision rock entries, but I'm lukewarm on this one.  × Albania: Eneda Tarifa - Fairytale I've seen comments complaining about the English revamp of “Fairytale”. The vocals on the Albanian version (called “Përrallë”) are smoother and I prefer the swollen chorus instrumentation. This version tones all that down. Instead, Edena's English vocal tone is more straightforward. The “oh oh oh” breakdown feels a little misplaced. And the chorus does this thing where it stops and waits a few times to accentuate the melody. But the chorus hook still leaps out effectively – “AND THAT'S WHY I LOVE YOU!” And Eneda projects a desperation tone to the ensuing “And I'd fight for you, give my life for you” interjection. The song is about the realities of finding true love; of a fairytale romance. It may take a lifetime and you have to endure heartbreak to get there. In the chorus, she expresses complete devotion because she's not willing to let go of it. The second verse is weird though: she talks about a day when love isn't enough and you have to make peace with it. Musically, the verses follow a “Wild West”-ish guitar; alongside metal bowl ticking sounds and popping sounds. While the pre-chorus switches to the drums and strings. Then the drum pattern pushes the chorus along. She also screams “EE YEAH YAY” before the last chorus. The staging is pretty forgettable though. ✓ Belgium: Laura Tesoro - What's the Pressure This is serving “Uptown Funk” meets “Another One Bites The Dust”, but Laura and the backing dancers kinda steal the show with this performance. They bring such energetic and joyful choreography. They don't rest for a single second. This is what “Sing It Away” should've been. The song starts with the ensemble strutting onto the stage, as the funky bass-line also struts in. Laura is handed a microphone; the group rolls their arms; they slap hands; they line-up sideways. And they make airplane gestures during the pre-chorus, which unfortunately removes the background “ow! ow!” sound effects from the studio version. The bass-line eases off during this part too, with the funky guitar appearing. The strutting rhythm persists though. The chorus, meanwhile, adds some breezy horns and concludes with a brassy riff, as the group leans from side-to-side and points. The bridge then diverges into this panicked sinking feeling, leading to a “WOO” release. Following this, the song rests before bringing the beat back. And the performance concludes with one last dance sequence. The lyrical message is positive vibes only. Laura mentions how life gets people down, and how society tries to impose their rules, but there's no need to pressure yourself. Just live your best life and get out of your head. It's a simple message. The atmosphere is a burst of energy. The song is catchy. And the squirmy choreo routine makes it fun. My Ranking: 01. Bulgaria: Poli Genova - If Love Was a Crime ✓ 02. Ukraine: Jamala - 1944 ✓ 03. Latvia: Justs - Heartbeat ✓ 04. Belgium: Laura Tesoro - What's the Pressure ✓ 05. Serbia: Sanja Vučić ZAA - Goodbye (Shelter) ✓ 06. Australia: Dami Im - Sound of Silence ✓ 07. Lithuania: Donny Montell - I've Been Waiting for This Night ✓ 08. Albania: Eneda Tarifa - Fairytale 09. Belarus: Ivan - Help You Fly 10. Norway: Agnete - Icebreaker 11. Israel: Hovi Star - Made of Stars ✓ 12. Slovenia: ManuElla - Blue and Red 13. F.Y.R. Macedonia: Kaliopi - Dona 14. Denmark: Lighthouse X - Soldiers of Love 15. Georgia: Nika Kocharov and Young Georgian Lolitaz - Midnight Gold ✓ 16. Ireland: Nicky Byrne - Sunlight 17. Poland: Michał Szpak - Color of Your Life ✓ 18. Switzerland: Rykka - The Last of Our Kind I take back what I said: SF1 is the stronger semi. SF2 has more of the heavy-hitters, but it also contains more bland entries. Almost every song in SF1 had personality, for better or worse.

Stockholm 2016 – Semi-Final 1

Host: Sweden Slogan: “Come Together” Participants: 42 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host General Overview: 2016 was the year I switched from a casual Eurovision fan to an avid one – it was the first time I watched the semi-finals, and the first time I listened to the songs before the contest. I even watched a few national finals! I also spent that spring catching up on all the older Grand Finals. The show opens by slowly zooming towards the Globe Arena (aka the former home of the Melfest final), while an edit of Måns's win cuts in and out. Next, Måns performs a slow orchestral rendition of “Heroes” on stage; this time with a real life kid imitating the projection board animations. The kid even floats in the air with a balloon. Later, a children's choir joins in – I was about say in my “Heroes” review that the song was totally built for a children's choir. After this, there's a montage of various activities with the dandelion symbol floating around. This leads to the Globe Arena transforming into the contest's logo. Petra and Måns provide plenty of Swedish humour here. The Europe “The Final Countdown” joke being a highlight. There's also a filler segment where they drive taxi cars and surprise Eurofans. Verka makes a cameo during this as well. The interval involves a comical story about the origins of ABBA's “Waterloo”. And an interpretive dance sequence about the refugee crisis of the time called The Grey People. They're covered in grey, like debris dust. It's set to some slow BPM dance beats. At the end, they rinse their faces and walk into the audience; symbolizing their new home. This year sees Bosnia, Bulgaria, Croatia and Ukraine return after their respective breaks. While Portugal withdrew and Romania were disqualified 10 days before the rehearsals began for not paying their debts. They were scheduled to perform in SF2 with “Moment of Silence” by Ovidiu Anton (I probably wouldn't have ranked it that high, but I feel bad for the artist). I was excited to see Bosnia return though. But then they broke their qualification record and haven't participated since. Also, Australia are (thankfully) not a permanent auto-qualifier. Russia wins yet another semi-final, and the SF1 televote as well. While Malta (of all things) tops the jury vote. Otherwise, the public saved Austria (which they ranked 2nd!!) in exchange for Montenegro. Yeah I don't know what the juries were thinking there. On the flip side, the juries saved Croatia at the expense of Bosnia. One of the format changes in 2016 is how the auto-qualifiers were previewed in the semi-finals. Previously, the producers would show music video clips of all of them at once, and repeat it in SF2. But starting this year, we now see live rehearsal clips for whichever countries are voting in that semi-final.

× Finland: Sandhja - Sing It Away We kick off 2016 with a feelgood entry from Sandhja. Where she spreads a straightforward piece of advice – when life gets you down (ie. when you're overwhelmed, stressed, discouraged), try singing your troubles away. She'll even help us do it! It isn't the most profound message, but she sounds compassionate. The song starts with languid piano notes. But the first verse doesn't wait long to amp up the energy, as the drums arrive and the piano awakens. The backing singers then walk onto the stage from the rear entrance when the first chorus hits. I can see why this is the opener. They sound friendly and inviting with their “ohhhhhh YEAH”s. The chorus also adds some mini horn blasts. It has a relaxed vibe compared to the verses, and Sandhja sings it enthusiastically. The second verse builds similarly to the first, but with heart-beating drums. While the bridge switches to tenser pattering drums. Her voice also sounds like Kiesza during that part. The backing is quite distracting on stage however; between their “can't sit still” dance moves, the mic stand leaning, and them crowding around Sandhja. Although I like when they walk in unison towards the end. And Everybody seems to be having fun. But this entry is a little too “plain”. Her “bruh bruh bruh” shouts get annoying too. She’s a little intense. × Greece: Argo - Utopian Land Greece finally breaks their qualification record. And I can see why. The song starts promising – there's a shot of a lyra player to establish a traditional element. Followed by vocal chanting and some forceful booming drums entering the scene. The ensuing English chorus is a catchy jingle to welcome us. But then the Greek rapping comes in and yeah... there isn't much rhythm to it. Although the two rappers display major goofball energy on stage. One of them takes his shirt off and twirls around at the end. But that lyra sounds like a dying sheep from the bridge onward, and I believe the drums change time signature. It's a nauseating, drunken nightmare. It breaks for a moment when the pounding drums return, but still. Lyrically, the first verse references the recent migrant crisis, as Greece was a major entry point to the EU. It uses words like enduring and fleeing, as the narrator seeks a “Utopian Land”. And the “rising sun” alludes to a new beginning. There's even a depiction of a sun on screen. At one point the chorus switches to “fight with us...” as they hold hands in the air. The second verse, meanwhile, mentions vodka, “Grandma's frying fish”, and dancing on a plane; which is a lighthearted celebration of their new home. Overall though, this is a messy entry, and the chorus doesn't salvage it much. × Moldova: Lidia Isac - Falling Stars For a country that's known for making a big splash each year... “Falling Stars” might be the most forgettable entry of 2016. Sure there's a dancing astronaut on stage, but that's nothing wild. Plus the melody doesn't stand out enough. The chorus makes an attempt with the “The SKY is... TUM-bling; it's coming down... coming down” bit, but it feels weak. Lidia is not the best vocalist either – particularly during that big note. Otherwise, the song contrasts a low-key verse with an EDM drop in the chorus. The opening combines rapid, restless plucking with more gradual piano notes. It creates a lonely nighttime atmosphere. Lidia, meanwhile, looks sideways in a dark shadow. Then suddenly, a 2011-style Euro-dance beat surges in, as the camera zooms out. The chorus synths are thick, splashing clasps that crash down like a heavy meteor shower. The song later ends with some dramatic clangs. On stage, Lidia emotes and interactions with the astronaut; who arrives in the second verse. He takes his helmet off while facing her, then dances around her. She also watches him depart during the bridge. The lyrics involve space metaphors, where Lidia pines for her ex and proclaims they could be the “brightest falling stars”. The sky is tumbling down and the love has turned to dust. Their love is so strong it's apocalyptic! Or the pain is. I'm not sure. All in all, the beat is the best aspect of this entry. ✓ Hungary: Freddie - Pioneer I wasn't a fan of Freddie's gravelly vocals at first, but they suit the song's theme of internalized self-hatred. He sings from the darkest depths within. He sounds troubled; like someone who has suffered. The song's message is directed towards victims of emotional neglect, bullying or mistreatment. For those who aren't accepted for who they are. In the chorus, Freddie proclaims: be proud of your real self. Be a “pioneer” (ie. the first person to do something). While the “million lies in a million temples” line calls out religion. In the bridge, he says “Approval is found within” - only you can change yourself. It's reasonable advice, and Freddie has a caring tone and emotes on stage. Musically, after the piano intro, the song is dominated by earthquake-like drums throughout, while a man strikes an upright drum on stage. The floor also displays a cracked surface. The pre-chorus sees those drums vanish, as the camera cuts to the backing singers whistling. It retreats like someone shying away. It also lets the chorus drums impact harder, where Freddie shouts “A MILLION HEARTS...” The backing also adds some “oh ah oh”s as they teeter and clap their hands in the air. The bridge later escalates a bit, leading to a big note transition. The grave piano notes remain throughout the song though. It's an intense instrumental. The chorus is catchy too, and I'd say the backing elevates it. ✓ Croatia: Nina Kraljić - Lighthouse Now here's a jarring vocal style I can't get past. Although the lyrics are adorable and Nina gives a quirky performance. The song goes all in with its metaphorical imagery and vivid descriptions. Basically: a lighthouse guides Nina to shore when her ship capsizes in stormy seas. That lighthouse represents a person who shines through the darkness. They're the reason she remains hopeful. They're reliable, permanent and provide safety. Moreover, Nina wears some memorable outfits here. She starts with an oversized cloth with a tree branch design. And then drops it to reveal a white dress with long frilly things hanging from her arms. The song also opens with a nautical flute and the verses are whimsical in sound – they feature water dripping effects and a quivering background instrument. They also follow a 3-syllable pattern. The driving force is the valiantly thumping drums though. They keep pushing forwards, like a boat hitting oncoming waves. And they fortify in the chorus, although the first one waits a moment to do so. Later, there's a key change, as the stage changes from watery blue to red skies, and the backing singers (who are concealed by black cloaks) add an intense “OHHHHHH”. Which I find overbearing. Side note: This is Croatia's first qualification since 2009! ✓ Netherlands: Douwe Bob - Slow Down The Netherlands regain their momentum by... sending another country song. Although this one resembles an Eagles hit from the 1970s. There's a retro and nostalgic vibe here. In the song, Douwe feels worn out from speeding through life aimlessly and from his daily routine. So he desperately seeks advice, and what he's told is extremely simple – to “slow down”. The descending chorus melody provides his desired tension relief via the “slow down brother” refrain. It concludes with a guitar nudge. The chorus looks repetitive on paper, but it doesn't feel that way. The backing boosts the melody too. Elsewhere, the “MISTER CAN YOU HELP ME” hook jumps out. And the guitar solo is nice. But that fake ending where the song pauses for 11 whole seconds is beyond awkward. It lasts way too long and it comes off as a mishap. I get it, you're “slowing down”. Also, the ticking clock at the start is too obvious; as is the stage floor resembling an analogue clock. And Douwe's facial expressions are off-putting. Otherwise, the instrumental stays relatively consistent. It remains smooth and calm. The acoustic guitar slides in after that clock intro, followed by the drums and piano. And the song ends on a quieter note, with Douwe standing among the audience. ✓ Armenia: Iveta Mukuchyan - LoveWave This has to be the most dramatic production in Eurovision history. The song begins with a subdued and brooding atmosphere, where Iveta privately whispers an aside (“hey it's me...”). This represents the “calm before the storm” mentioned in the lyric. The stage, meanwhile, is dark and misty; featuring NUMEROUS camera cuts and various angles focusing on her hand movements. Plus a close-up of her mouth. Iveta trails off by saying “beat, beat, beat...” Then, an air raid siren approaches like the old THX sound effect and the pyro erupts. At the climax, Iveta shouts “IT'S TAKING OVER ME” as the hyperbolic, earthquake drums take over in dramatic fashion. They create a “LoveWave”. It's an otherworldly atmosphere that holds in a singular moment in time. The impact of those drums is unrelenting, with some flicking sounds in between. The chorus further adds an elongated “YOUUUUUU” hook, and ends with her talking in gibberish. There's also a chilly violin solo, featuring multiple translucent copies of Iveta. The camera work is kinda abstract here. The song then finishes on a dramatic bang. The lyrics describe the titular “LoveWave” consuming Iveta. It woke her up, she feels indestructible, it saved her from a downward spiral, it hit without a warning, and now she craves for more. It's the most powerful feeling imaginable! She gives a fierce performance too, and provides a distinct squawky vocal. × San Marino: Serhat - I Didn't Know Well... at least “Say Na Na” has a fun hook. But this one is like a creepy man breathing down your neck. Serhat doesn't sing either, instead he uses this raspy, monotone, “seductive” voice. Which means the backing singers have to carry the melody for him. Moreover, the disco instrumental is generic. It sounds like it was made in the 1970s. Anyways, the song starts softly, like a slow dance at the cabaret. The backing hums “oooooh” as Serhat makes a plea to get together. His tone comes off as stalker-ish though and the lyrics seem presumptuous (ie. “I got to be inside your mind”, “You have to see this love is real”, “I want to slip upon your skin”). After that, the disco instrumental emerges to liven the mood. The chorus has a sing-along melody, a bouncy beat and hand claps. And it concludes with stretched-out cymbals/melody. In this part, Serhat says he “didn't know” about his feelings until now. The song further adds two breakdowns in the middle. The first sees the backing pump their fists in the air and say a bunch of “oh oh”s. They have some enjoyable choreo during this part. The second one reduces the song to a beating drum and finger snaps, as Serhat interacts with the dancers around him. The backing stays grouped together throughout. This is an eccentric entry for sure, but it still turns me off. ✓ Russia: Sergey Lazarev - You Are the Only One #StandWithUkraine Sergey made an anti-war post on Instagram, so I'll review his entries! The televote winner of 2016. The staging is too inspired by “Heroes”, and the production isn't something you'd hear outside of Eurovision. Kirkorov / Kontopoulos basically revamped “Shine” here. But the OTT spectacle mostly works. Sergey starts by standing in the dark as a church bell rings. The song has a graveyard-like atmosphere to it. Following this, the synths brood underneath and a ticking clock leads to the pre-chorus. Upon which, the drums take over, including some impactful twitches, and Sergey amplifies things. He also begins to interact with a projection board. It shows bird wings sprouting from his arms. The ensuing chorus strikes like a hurricane – there's a singsong melody on “Thun-DER and Light-NING” and a desperation tone on the title phrase. While the drums steadily clack back-and-forth and the strings create a sinking feeling. Sergey also leads a synchronized dance routine. The second verse onward gets crazy – the screen shows outlines of his poses, he walks up the structure via floating blocks, the board spins and he “falls” into a starry abyss, he uses a meteor to climb to the top, and a trail of blood oozes from his torso. Finally, after a key change, Sergey stands on top of the board and gives a less restrained final chorus. He brings huge charisma to this. In the song, he's utterly determined to reconcile the relationship and affirms they're the “only one”. He seems pretty intense about it and the chorus is cheesy. But the song is still a bop. ✓ Czech Republic: Gabriela Gunčíková - I Stand Czechia qualifies for the first time ever! And then they flop at the Grand Final. Sobs. They get there by sending a big power ballad. The melody is what drives this one. The verses have a graceful flow, where Gabriela mentions her mental health struggles. She hit a wall and she made mistakes. But this person is her rock through it all. In the chorus, she exclaims “I-UH-I; I-UH-I STAAAAAND” repeatedly to conjure up inner strength. While the subsequent “I AM STANDING HERE...” part leaps out very effectively (as does the additional pre-chorus). She sings it like she's holding on for dear life. The emotion pours out. The second verse then reveals her newfound positive outlook on life. Musically, the song is a piano ballad that moves at a methodical pace. It has a serious and depressing atmosphere. It begins and ends with a gunshot bang. The percussion is like heavy footsteps. And there's a grave bell at one point. The instrumental also sees the strings grow as the song progresses. There's recurring cymbal shimmers. And things quiet before the final chorus hits. Otherwise, Gabriela performs the song completely alone on stage, which matches the lyrical theme. While the screen displays a “G” logo at the start, then some pink triangles appear everywhere, and finally flowers rain down. ✓ Cyprus: Minus One - Alter Ego Thomas G:son contributes two rock entries to 2016, and this is the better one. Although the constant flashes of the grey filter and the wolves are sensory overload. The lyrics are weird too. The metaphor compares the singer's heartache with turning into a werewolf (which is his “alter ego”). He even howls throughout the song, which is a bit much. In the lyrics, his heart feels locked in a jail; explaining why the band members perform inside cages. He remarks that he failed in the relationship and he rejects time healing wounds. He later claims he'll cross any distance to reunite. The chorus describes it as a twilight phase. The song kicks off with some forceful punches against a dark stage. From there, the drums tap before the guitar groove comes in. The verses also contain a “you know, you know, you know” repetition hook. The chorus then speedily jogs through as if nothing is impeding it. It uses a bouncy, sloshing percussion rhythm against some flashing lights. It's a chorus that “rocks” too! This is followed by a “take it on, take it on...” repetition that offers a relief afterwards. There's also a guitar solo later on. And the song finishes with more punches. The hard rock instrumental is bursting with energy, and it takes me back to my 2006 rock phase. But the animalistic theme can be intimidating. ✓ Austria: Zoë - Loin d'ici Austria challenges Croatia for the cutest entry of 2016. “Loin d'ici” has a very fanciful and innocent atmosphere. After the muffled intro, the first verse is driven by playful string plucking, while the second verse brings in an equally playful violin. Both of which scurry and scamper around joyfully like a bunny rabbit. There's also some cleverly placed finger snaps throughout. The chorus, meanwhile, does this thing where it relaxes before taking off. The latter half uses a jogging beat that runs a mile a minute. The transition happens via a crashing drum, which is pretty effective. The bridge then extends the chorus tension, where Zoë mentions “drunken recklessness”. After that, the instrumental quiets completely before heading into the final chorus. Zoë then becomes more anxious with the “On chante, on chante, on danse, on danse” bit. And the song finishes on an unravelling note. These constant tempo switches are seamless though. Otherwise, the lyrics are fairly simple – Zoë dreams of a paradise that's “far from here”. A place to sing and dance with her lover. To enjoy time together. It's cute. The stage floor, meanwhile, displays a pathway. The screen shows butterflies, poppies, colourful trees, and what looks like Candyland. And Zoë is all smiles. She has a sweet voice too. × Estonia: Jüri Pootsmann - Play The last placer of SF1. This was a grower for me, due to Jüri's deep vocal and the dreary atmosphere. The song uses a casino metaphor (ie. hitting “play”) for pursuing a relationship. Jüri says that you have to take a risk by showing your feelings and being vulnerable. You can't be passive about it. The thing is, his crush hasn't shown an interest. He's fine with keeping things “undecided” for now. So hopefully he isn't pushy about it. Otherwise, the stage incorporates casino lights along the outlines while the screens display card suit symbols. Jüri also does a magic card trick at one point (and laughs during it). He brings charm to his performance, and his blue suit is appropriate for a casino. Musically, the song opens with melancholic piano and strings, as Jüri stands sideways. From there, the piano drips down in this dull, monotone way. That is until the restless, foot-stomping beat livens things up in the pre-chorus. That rhythm continues into the chorus, which adds some slot machine dings and a nice “we're falling, we're falling” hook. And a diving guitar riff afterwards. While the second verse becomes more mellow, with the sweet-toned backing giving a “not for me” response. The verses are like sitting alone in sorrow at the casino, while the chorus is like walking to her hotel room. ✓ Azerbaijan: Samra - Miracle Not to be confused with the German rapper. This production is very 2016 – a year where Major Lazer's influence had reached pop music. There's a vocal squeal at the start and the verses use fragmented, tinny kick-drums. They also include a “Here Comes the Hotstepper”-esque cawing effect, plunging echos, and background piano and strings. They're pretty dynamic in sound. Those kick-drums also fortify midway through into this rhythm that kicks against the walls. Meanwhile, the pyro ignites during the “burning fire” lyric, and then extinguishes upon “now it's gone”; which is cool. The chorus, by contrast, explodes with the “GONNA TAKE A MIRACLE” hook, as the atmosphere showers down alongside dense, thumping drums. But... this is where Samra's voice gets swamped. And the chorus lacks the dynamism and the attitude of the verses. It's a let down for me. The “Baby I. Won't. Stay Another. Night” hook is effective though. I also like when the camera cuts to the backing members turning one at a time. Otherwise, there's a “Mira-mira-miracle” hook added in later. And the performance ends with some fire rain. Lyrically, the song is an “in-your-face” rejection, where Samra wants nothing to do with this boy anymore. She shows no hesitations or doubts about it. Only a miracle could salvage things. × Montenegro: Highway - The Real Thing 2016 has a trio of rock entries, and this is the worst one. The chorus just drags on in this lazy way – the husky vocals, the slow-motion guitar groove, and the elongated “REAAAAAL THIIIIIING” hook that goes nowhere. Moreover, the dubstep breakdown is intrusive and menacing. And the staging focuses on this random girl standing ferociously against a wind machine. The visuals are dizzying here: with the flashing lights, smoke puffs, and distorted graphics; all filmed in a letterboxed aspect ratio. It's trying so hard to be artsy. The lyrics are stalker-ish too. The singer pursues someone who seems to be running away (which explains the wind machine girl - she even holds hands with him at the end). He promises he's the “real thing”, but he sings it in this demented, disturbed and unattractive way. And the “inside you” line is creepy. Otherwise, the song opens with a peculiar intro before the hard rock guitar groove barges through. That groove holds off for the verses, which employ a ticking beat set to a marching rhythm instead. The guitars then return in the chorus in a noisy way. I don't really “get” this entry and it seems self-indulgent. The “gonna run...” escalation is alright though. × Iceland: Greta Salóme - Hear Them Calling This was voted as the best non-qualifier by the #EurovisionAgain audience, and it's certainly up there. Sure the lyrics are repetitive and vague – like who is “them”? Why are they calling her? Why are we running away? – but this mysteriousness draws me in. As does the frequent shifts between calm and intense atmospheres. It represents the freeze and the flight of an anxiety rush. Also, the projection board images match the energy really well. Even if that concept copies “Heroes”. The song begins with a gentle acoustic guitar and twinkle bells, as Greta is shown in a dark shadow. Things go quiet during the “We shiver as we step into...” part. Then, the anxiously pounding drums arrive to signal the approaching danger as Greta collapses to the floor, which displays a blue explosion. This leads to the indie-folk instrumentation rushing through, while silhouettes appear behind her and she shouts an “oh oh oh” hook. This part feels like you're being chased and running away. It's similar to Of Monsters And Men as well. The second verse then adds a fiddle. Followed by heartbeat thumps, as Greta “crumbles” into pieces and walks back into frame. She then fights off giant hands in the second chorus. Smoke billows from her chest during the next instrumental break. A flock of crows swarms after that. And she collapses again when a dramatic bang hits. Finally, a few drum slams lead to the final chorus. The song has a chilly night vibe to it. And the backing vocalists add to the eeriness. × Bosnia & Herzegovina: Dalal and Deen feat. Ana Rucner and Jala - Ljubav je Deen returns from 2004, but this is nothing like “In The Disco”. “Ljubav je” is the type of Balkan ballad that's right up my alley, but rapper Jala almost ruins it. His appearance is too abrupt. Still, the instrumental is sublime and the chorus melody is intense. The song opens with some booming bass drums that persist through the first verse (and make the ground vibrate) as Ana gives an infectious cello riff. She gets quite into her performance, while wearing a shiny gold cape. The chorus then uses a lingering electric guitar. And the drums change to regular rock band ones for the remainder. The song has a smooth flow until Jala interrupts it. His part switches to a stop/start rhythm instead. Lyrically, “Ljubav je” is about the importance of forgiveness in a relationship. Deen feels empty when they part. Dalal has “nowhere to go back to”, so she swears to pay her debts. The song surmises that “love is a magic circle” - ie. nobody is perfect and both parties will mess up. So forgiveness is fair. The duo then swaps roles in the second verse. Whereas Jala's rap verse details his poor life choices and how he's tormented by his crush not wanting a serious relationship. The lyrics seem mature and reasonable. I also like the barbed wire fence that physically separates Dalal and Deen. They try to touch each other but can't. They also emote and harmonize well. ✓ Malta: Ira Losco - Walk on Water Ira returns from 2002. This seems like a random semi-final jury winner. Although the production is very 2016 [2] and she is a confident vocalist. It's just that the production overshadows things. The song grabs attention from the start – with a dramatic slam and a cawing distortion effect. There's also moody strings and humming. Following this, Ira's face is displayed on the stage floor to sing the first stanza (which is rather tacky). She opens up about her self-destructive low self-esteem. She was trying to be and please someone. The production is subdued for this first verse; until another slam starts the pre-chorus, where Ira accepts not being perfect. She sings in a “coming to terms” tone as well. Then another slam starts the chorus, which includes finger snaps and heavy piano notes, and Ira shouts “I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOUR LOVE”. This builds towards the “drop” - the quirky rolling effect and the drum n bass beat that follows. While Ira declares how this person's love makes her feel like she can walk on water. Basically it's powerful enough to defy physics. A dancer moves around her as well. The drum n bass then continues for the second verse. And the bridge adds a soulful backing. The atmosphere is like splashing in icy cold water here. But the arrangement does feel mechanical. My Ranking: 01. Iceland: Greta Salóme - Hear Them Calling 02. Armenia: Iveta Mukuchyan - LoveWave ✓ 03. Czech Republic: Gabriela Gunčíková - I Stand ✓ 04. Austria: Zoë - Loin d'ici ✓ 05. Hungary: Freddie - Pioneer ✓ 06. Russia: Sergey Lazarev - You Are the Only One ✓ 07. Bosnia & Herzegovina: Dalal and Deen feat. Ana Rucner and Jala - Ljubav je 08. Cyprus: Minus One - Alter Ego ✓ 09. Estonia: Jüri Pootsmann - Play 10. Malta: Ira Losco - Walk on Water ✓ 11. Netherlands: Douwe Bob - Slow Down ✓ 12. Finland: Sandhja - Sing It Away 13. Azerbaijan: Samra - Miracle ✓ 14. Moldova: Lidia Isac - Falling Stars 15. Croatia: Nina Kraljić - Lighthouse ✓ 16. Greece: Argo - Utopian Land 17. San Marino: Serhat - I Didn't Know 18. Montenegro: Highway - The Real Thing A hard semi-final to choose 10 qualifiers from.

Vienna 2015 – Grand Final

Host: Austria Slogan: “Building Bridges” Participants: 40 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - combined) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host + AUSTRALIA Winner: Måns Zelmerlöw - Heroes Country: Sweden Points: 365 (78.0% of highest score possible) Language: English General Overview: It's the 60th edition of Eurovision! Which marks the end of an era – the last contest to use the old points system (ie. where each country's jury and televote points were combined into a single aggregate score). It's also the longest Grand Final up to this point, with a run time of almost exactly 4 hours. The preceding years were roughly 30 minutes shorter. And it's remained around the 4-hour mark to this day. Needless to say, I'm pretty worn out by the end of it. Indeed, this is a long opening sequence. It starts with the Vienna Philharmonic in an outdoor venue; culminating in a group of people holding torches in a circle. Then, the rainbow blobbed infrastructure reappears. Followed by an edit of Conchita's winning moment and a long montage of various local activities. After all that, we transition to the live stage, where a violinist leads Austria's two winning songs. The wall opens up to reveal an orchestra, just like in the semi-final. Soon after, Conchita emerges from the floor, looking like a giant. She performs the theme song “Building Bridges”, where the 3 hosts arrive to “sing” along. As well as a children's choir and rapper Left Boy. The song changes to a hip-hop beat for the latter. Finally, the hosts lead the Parade of Nations. But wait, there's still a montage of people “transferring” objects or people between split screens, set to the soundtrack of “What If” (Russia 2013). That has not aged well. The presenters are Arabella Kiesbauer, Mirjam Weichselbraun and Alice Tumler. The dialogue is very scripted, but they're a likeable trio. The stage consists of the usual circular platform with an LED screen behind it. But with an additional archway constructed from numerous horizontal light tubes. There's also a collection of orbs hanging from the ceiling that move up and down in wave patterns. The Green Room is a raised platform in the back, with a walkway cutting through the audience that connects it to the stage. The postcards start with the artists greeting the camera, while a heartbeat pounds. This is followed by footage of the artists receiving a package in their home countries. They look at the gift, then look upwards to see someone greeting them and suddenly they're in Austria. They then partake in a local activity. The sequence concludes with the artists displayed on a billboard.

The interval act is the Percussive Planet Ensemble, which (unsurprisingly) features a wide variety of percussion. During which, the artists make heart shapes in the Green Room. There's also people holding art pieces on their heads and a classical choir joining in. Later on, Conchita performs the inspirational ballad “You Are Unstopped” and the piano house number “Firestorm”. She is a superstar! There's also a montage of winner reaction moments. The results are very top-heavy this year. Going by percentages, 2015 has the strongest top 3 of the “12-point era”. And 10th place only received 53 points. I'm guessing the Grand Final suffered from ballad fatigue. The entire 2nd half is basically slower tempo songs. The voting graphics show a nighttime globe that “builds bridges” to Vienna; with Vienna written in that country's language (although not the country name itself). The voting procedure is a messy one. Austria lost connection to three countries (Portugal, Estonia and Georgia), who were called back at the end. But what's truly surreal to re-watch in 2022 is... how Russia was leading for so long. It honestly looked like they had won it. And the audience was NOT here for it, despite the “anti-booing technology”. Conchita was even defending Polina in the Green Room. The crowd went NUTS when Sweden finally overtook on country #27. And the Russian spokesperson jokingly giving 12 points to his own country did not go over well. Also of note: the winner was announced early again. Slovenia: Maraaya - Here for You France: Lisa Angell - N'oubliez pas Another serious message song from 2015. “N'oubliez pas” commemorates the 100th anniversary of WWI, which resulted in nearly 2 million French people losing their lives. In the song, Lisa describes what it must've felt like at the time. To have your entire sense of security and peaceful lifestyle uprooted. She narrates about a village that was “erased from the maps and memories”. It was once a welcoming place with “children laughing” and “harvest celebrations”. But then the invading forces arrived with large numbers and weapons. The “words of hatred” line could apply to WWII as well. Lisa's message is “don't forget” about history. In the chorus, she declares “I am there” to show perseverance. They will rebuild. The instrumental starts very faint, with the guitar, piano and strings. It's a grieving and disheartening mood; as if standing in the rubble aftermath, too numb to speak. While the screen displays destroyed buildings and white doves. The piano emerges more in the first chorus. While the drums join in the second verse. And Lisa's vocals intensify from the second chorus. She sounds very passionate and emotional; particularly during the invading forces stanza. The strings become more pronounced too. For the final stanza, four marching band drummers come on stage (with plenty more on screen as the village rebirths). It's such a dreary song though, and the melody isn't that instant. Israel: Nadav Guedj - Golden Boy This needed to be 2nd half lol. Estonia: Elina Born and Stig Rästa - Goodbye to Yesterday United Kingdom: Electro Velvet - Still in Love with You And another mixed gender duet from 2015. Boy was this a low point for the UK. A campy entry that feels cynical, outdated and out of touch. The song combines 1920s Vaudeville with a rave. There's swinging violins, with a glitchy, techno soup beat attached that doesn't really belong. While the old-timey stage design switches to neon lights at times. There's also break dancing and commands for us to dance. In the song, the duo exchanges dialogue. Alex warns Bianca about her vacation and she responds to calm his worries. He cautions about wrong trains, old plains, and nasty diseases; while she tells him to take his medication. Alex is also worried of other suitors. She assures she'll be faithful. He tells her to not stay out late or drink too much. She says he needs to trust her. And she flicks her finger at him when saying the song title (to put him in his place?) This guy sounds very insecure and controlling. He blames it on her being “gorgeous” (eye roll). Bianca doesn't sound annoyed by it, as the song goes for a lighthearted, tongue-in-cheek tone. But it seems toxic. Otherwise, the song has a bouncy rhythm and the lyrics rhyme a lot. Especially that “-ize” stanza. Which is a bit silly. But the violins and the scatting are annoying. As are the “d-d-dance” / “everybody dance” / “oh yes” bits. Moreover, this entry seems like a parody or a joke. The smiles are too much. Armenia: Genealogy - Face the Shadow Lithuania: Monika Linkytė and Vaidas Baumila - This Time The kiss went on too long and they missed their cue. And that part is used in the recap... Serbia: Bojana Stamenov - Beauty Never Lies Norway: Mørland and Debrah Scarlett - A Monster Like Me Sweden: Måns Zelmerlöw - Heroes (winner review below) Cyprus: John Karayiannis - One Thing I Should Have Done RIP with this running order slot. Australia: Guy Sebastian - Tonight Again The top 5 placement seems driven by the hype of their debut. And by being an energetic song amongst the ballads. So Australia selects one of their biggest acts – Guy won the inaugural season of Australian Idol and he's topped the ARIA charts 6 times. “Tonight Again” is also a brass-heavy song right when “Uptown Funk” was everywhere. It starts with a moderately paced piano, as Guy suggests leaving behind your problems for tonight. The pre-chorus then escalates via the “do what you what you what you want” x3 build up + the horn yanks. While the chorus confidently struts forward in a free-flowing manner. It halts on the “forget tomorrow” bit; followed by an “oh ah oh” post-chorus from the backing. In the second verse, Guy mentions people judging this lifestyle. The title implies this avoidance is a cycle. But he's happy. For the bridge, the beat disappears then expands, as the pyro goes off and Guy ad libs. The performance ends with fireworks. On stage, there's a series of street lamps, while the screen shows a city street at night. It's like they're walking down it. The choreo is fluid too, with fist pumps, pointing, and Guy shuffling his legs. He's a professional performer who shows off his vigorous vocals. Which helps him sound eager. Overall, it's a slick entry with a catchy pre-chorus, and the horns keep things afloat. But it's kinda lacking in substance. Belgium: Loïc Nottet - Rhythm Inside Austria: The Makemakes - I Am Yours The first host entry to receive 0 points. Many of the upcoming ones will be towards the bottom of the scoreboard as well. Perhaps “I Am Yours” was too eccentric. The big gimmick is when singer Dodo lights the grand piano on fire midway through. Which could represent his burning passion. The song sounds like a 1970s rock ballad, similar to Elton John or Paul McCartney. The performance begins with a dark, shadowy stage. The verses are piano-driven, with a wistful and lonely atmosphere. The guitars and drums enter during the first chorus as the stage lights up. Said chorus has a rocking back-and-forth or fist-pounding rhythm, which conveys persistence. Dodo also changes to falsetto on the closing line. He gets scream-y towards the end too. In the song, Dodo says that if this person is willing to give him a second chance, he'll drop everything to be with them again. He's ready, willing, and able. The ball is in their court now. Each stanza also ends with the offer “anytime, any place, I’m yours”; as if it needs to be repeated. Otherwise, the “you're the one I belong to” hook is okay, and Dodo sounds sweet and committed. But this entry doesn't really stand out enough. The “oooooh” bridge is flat too. Greece: Maria Elena Kyriakou - One Last Breath Montenegro: Knez - Adio Germany: Ann Sophie - Black Smoke Germany started the 2010s with Lena and ended it with a bunch of bottom 2 placements. Including “nul points” this year. Although Ann Sophie didn't win the national final. That was Andreas Kümmert with “Heart of Stone” (he declined). Anyways, “Black Smoke” is a retro jazzy number filled with snapping percussion flicks, and a tickling piano riff. After the muffled intro, the instrumental stays pretty consistent. The drum rhythm is breezy for a break-up song. The bridge, meanwhile, is carried by the warm backing, followed by the song shying away and Ann releasing a big note. “Black Smoke” is about a relationship that should end. Ann notices her lover has changed. She tries to convince herself things are fine. But it's not worth forcing it. They can't even say the three words (“I love you”) anymore. The chorus surmises the situation by saying the “flame is running out” and all that's left is “black smoke”. It can't be rekindled. The lyrics are reasonable and the tone feels assured with her decision. Although the chorus sounds like a plea. The staging involves spotlights behind the singers and smoke puffs on screen. They also wear black outfits and Ann sings the first verse standing backwards for some reason. She has some sensual movements too. But the staging is kinda “meh” and the melody is so plain (“you said you'd never let me go”). Fun fact: Ella Eyre co-wrote this. Poland: Monika Kuszyńska - In the Name of Love Latvia: Aminata - Love Injected Romania: Voltaj - De la capăt Spain: Edurne - Amanecer Spain selects a... female ballad composed by Thomas G:son. But unlike 2012 and 2014, “Amanecer” fell short of the top 10. It probably suffered from ballad fatigue in the 2nd half. Still, the atmosphere is super melodramatic. The forlorn strings create an expansive soundscape. It's like a desolate desert or being consumed by sadness. The orchestra begins low-key and distressed. While the verse melody hangs on each line. The stage is a dark setting, featuring raindrops and water ripples on the floor. Edurne is concealed by a red cloak; sitting next to a passed out man. The drums and strings take over from the first chorus. And the drums punch hard from the second verse on like an unrelenting desire. Or endurance. Meanwhile, Edurne's long train flows in the wind. She also sheds a tear. Her train gets yanked off when the second chorus hits to reveal a sparkling white dress. She also holds her hands out (as if conjuring a spell) when singing the main hook. And there's an elaborate duo's dance routine during the instrumental break. The final chorus further adds thunderclaps. In the song, Edurne's lover left without knowing she loved them. And she feels very intense about wanting him to return. To “restore the dawn”. Overall, the staging is great, and the song is very atmospheric. But that “E-yeah E-YEAHHHH oh” hook, while instantly catchy, dominates things to the point of monotony. Hungary: Boggie - Wars for Nothing Georgia: Nina Sublatti - Warrior The infamous smoke machine malfunction. You can't even see her in the wide shots! Azerbaijan: Elnur Hüseynov - Hour of the Wolf Russia: Polina Gagarina - A Million Voices Albania: Elhaida Dani - I'm Alive The most underrated entry of 2015? Italy: Il Volo - Grande amore The song that held the televote record until 2022. If the juries had been more favourable towards Italy, they would've won. I didn't understand the massive hype 7 years ago, since classical opera has never been my thing. But the chorus is immensely powerful. It represents the “Great Love” you want to shout to the whole world. It's a glorious and overwhelming feeling. The song is about letting go of one's fears and reservations in confessing your feelings. The narrator has doubts; asking this person for reassurance that they'll never leave and only choose them. The build into the chorus is the biggest highlight though. The song begins more restrained. There's just a piano and a rising verse melody, set against a dark stage. The pre-chorus intensifies (the “Dimmi perché...” x3 bit) with the quick, jabbing percussion booms that approach and close in. While Piero unleashes an operatic vocal. The trio then yells “GRANDE AMORE” as the chorus explodes. The vocals bellow (“DIMMI CHE MAI”), as the drums steady the pace and the stage brightens up. It releases tension. The chorus ends with heavy strings. In the second pre-chorus, the trio rotates lines, with each one walking into the camera frame. Overall, II Volo are top class performers and vocalists. There's also Roman sculptures on screen. Fun fact: this song took 12 years to be picked up by any artist. The Winner: Sweden achieves their 6th victory; putting them one step away from Ireland's record. I imagine it's only a matter of time until they match or surpass it. “Heroes” is also the biggest winner of the 2010s, going by percentage of possible points. Although that's largely because of the juries. It had a 114-point lead(!!) over the runner-up in the jury vote (which was Latvia). Incidentally, this is the first time that the televote winner did not win the contest. The song redefines the term “hero” for the modern age (ie. “of our time”). Where we have personal “demons in our minds”, but we do our best. Which turns this into an anthem for the anti-heroes. Måns starts by explaining that he screwed up and he's avoiding punishment. That heroes are being eradicated. And he relays his father's advice about not dwelling on things. In the second verse, he says that modern heroes are greeted with crickets. That he inspires people (“I make worms turn into butterflies”). And he mentions his father's undying support. The song is an inspirational message directed to the listener. But the lyrics are so awkwardly phrased and trying too hard to sound deep. The “Sing it like a hummingbird” line doesn't make sense either, since I don't associate exclaiming an anthemic chorus with hummingbirds. Plus, Måns's words come off as self-important. The “What if I'm the only hero left” and the “butterflies” lines in particular. Like it's his duty to lead this message. The musicality is better than the lyrics though. The song was written by Joy Deb and Linnea Deb, who also composed “You” (Sweden 2013), “Monsters” (Finland 2018), “Adrenalina” (San Marino 2021) and “Voices” (Sweden 2021). It begins with a sawing guitar that's reminiscent of a Western film. It's been compared to David Guetta's “Lovers On The Sun” (which unofficially featured Avicii) – a huge hit in Europe the previous year. It signals an oncoming showdown; a scene of antiquated movie heroes. The first verse is also like a confession. The song then slowly builds into the chorus. Måns exclaims out loud with extended pauses, as the synths simmer below the surface. Soon enough, the drums escalate things, and the grinding synth swells leading to the drop. Finally, the main chorus envelops the arena. The second verse returns to the guitar, but this time the drums and the string pokes ease the pacing. While the second chorus jumps straight into the drop instead. Following this, there's a short (but effective) bridge. The backing repeats it underneath the final chorus to add an extra hook. The chorus sounds like a big anthem where the whole world could join in. And that “Hero-oh-ohs / oh-oh-ohs” hook is catchy. But... the way it stretches out one word makes it feel empty too. Otherwise, the staging is creative and innovative. It's a showcase of modern technology, where Måns interacts with a projection board as he “manipulates” the images. The stage is kept dark black for the illusion. He starts by siting on a bench. He then snaps his finger and a chalk outline kid appears. He slides over to make room on the bench, as the kid copies his movements. Following this, Måns conjures up a misty swirl that turns into a 3D rainfall effect. In the second verse, he motions that rainfall into a comet-like thing that he captures. He releases it; and it turns into butterfly wings behind him (matching the “butterfly” lyric). He then rotates the dots in a 3D motion during the “turn this world around” line. Afterwards, a school of chalk-outline kids appear on screen. They tilt in unison with Måns. He gives a fist-bump. And his heart glows red. The bridge also shows a chalk outline of Måns's face that morphs into his actual face. During the chorus, the stage lights flash in a frenzy, while he energetically bounces in the center. Måns brings insane charisma and star power to this performance. But it's to the point of self-indulgence with those smug smiles. Which is why I've never been able to love this entry. “Heroes” is not a bad winner at all - but it's not one I get that excited by. It's too calculated. It's not on the same level as “Euphoria” either. And the fact that Måns keeps reappearing at Eurovision year after year doesn't help. As for Melfest 2015, “Heroes” was very much a landslide winner there. The final also featured the first appearances of Jon Henrik Fjällgren and Mariette, who both placed top 3. Guilty pleasure icons Samir & Viktor also made their debut. Verdict: The very bottom of “B” Tier. My Ranking: Grand Final: 01. Latvia: Aminata - Love Injected 02. Estonia: Elina Born and Stig Rästa - Goodbye to Yesterday 03. Slovenia: Maraaya - Here for You 04. Belgium: Loïc Nottet - Rhythm Inside 05. Norway: Mørland and Debrah Scarlett - A Monster Like Me 06. Montenegro: Knez - Adio 07. Italy: Il Volo - Grande amore 08. Albania: Elhaida Dani - I'm Alive 09. Georgia: Nina Sublatti - Warrior 10. Australia: Guy Sebastian - Tonight Again 11. Serbia: Bojana Stamenov - Beauty Never Lies 12. Lithuania: Monika Linkytė and Vaidas Baumila - This Time 13. Azerbaijan: Elnur Hüseynov - Hour of the Wolf 14. Sweden: Måns Zelmerlöw - Heroes 15. Greece: Maria Elena Kyriakou - One Last Breath 16. Hungary: Boggie - Wars for Nothing 17. Spain: Edurne - Amanecer 18. Germany: Ann Sophie - Black Smoke 19. Israel: Nadav Guedj - Golden Boy 20. France: Lisa Angell - N'oubliez pas 21. Austria: The Makemakes - I Am Yours 22. Poland: Monika Kuszyńska - In the Name of Love 23. Romania: Voltaj - De la capăt 24. Cyprus: John Karayiannis - One Thing I Should Have Done 25. Armenia: Genealogy - Face the Shadow 26. United Kingdom: Electro Velvet - Still in Love with You Full Ranking: 01. Latvia: Aminata - Love Injected 02. Estonia: Elina Born and Stig Rästa - Goodbye to Yesterday 03. Slovenia: Maraaya - Here for You 04. Belgium: Loïc Nottet - Rhythm Inside 05. Norway: Mørland and Debrah Scarlett - A Monster Like Me 06. Montenegro: Knez - Adio 07. Italy: Il Volo - Grande amore 08. Albania: Elhaida Dani - I'm Alive 09. Georgia: Nina Sublatti - Warrior 10. Australia: Guy Sebastian - Tonight Again 11. Ireland: Molly Sterling - Playing with Numbers 12. Serbia: Bojana Stamenov - Beauty Never Lies 13. Lithuania: Monika Linkytė and Vaidas Baumila - This Time 14. Azerbaijan: Elnur Hüseynov - Hour of the Wolf 15. Sweden: Måns Zelmerlöw - Heroes 16. Greece: Maria Elena Kyriakou - One Last Breath 17. Hungary: Boggie - Wars for Nothing 18. Switzerland: Mélanie René - Time to Shine 19. Spain: Edurne - Amanecer 20. Moldova: Eduard Romanyuta - I Want Your Love 21. F.Y.R. Macedonia: Daniel Kajmakoski - Autumn Leaves 22. Germany: Ann Sophie - Black Smoke 23. Israel: Nadav Guedj - Golden Boy 24. Czech Republic: Marta Jandová and Václav Noid Bárta - Hope Never Dies 25. Belarus: Uzari and Maimuna - Time 26. Malta: Amber - Warrior 27. France: Lisa Angell - N'oubliez pas 28. Iceland: Maria Olafs - Unbroken 29. Austria: The Makemakes - I Am Yours 30. Portugal: Leonor Andrade - Há um mar que nos separa 31. Poland: Monika Kuszyńska - In the Name of Love 32. Romania: Voltaj - De la capăt 33. Cyprus: John Karayiannis - One Thing I Should Have Done 34. Denmark: Anti Social Media - The Way You Are 35. Netherlands: Trijntje Oosterhuis - Walk Along 36. Armenia: Genealogy - Face the Shadow 37. United Kingdom: Electro Velvet - Still in Love with You 38. Finland: Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät - Aina mun pitää 39. San Marino: Anita Simoncini and Michele Perniola - Chain of Lights “S” Tier: “Euphoria”, “Fairytale”, “My Number One” “A” Tier: “Every Way That I Can”, “Only Teardrops”, “Wild Dances”, “Rise Like a Phoenix”, “Hard Rock Hallelujah”, “Satellite” “B” Tier: “Molitva”, “Heroes” “C” Tier: “Fly On The Wings Of Love”, “I Wanna” “D” Tier: “Everybody”, “Believe”, “Running Scared” “F” Tier: none!

Vienna 2015 – Semi Final 2

Host: Austria Slogan: “Building Bridges” Participants: 40 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - combined) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host + AUSTRALIA General Overview: It's official; I have now heard every Eurovision non-qualifier at least once in my lifetime. It was actually one of the reasons why I started this project in the first place. 2016 was the year I became a dedicated Eurofan. I spent that spring binge watching all the previous Grand Finals. But I had skipped over the semi-finals, and I hadn't revisited the entries that weren't my immediate favourites until now. Those favourites have definitely shifted 6 years later. So I'm glad I'm familiarizing myself with the ones I overlooked. Anyways, the second semi-final of 2015 begins similarly to the first one. The opening sequence includes the rainbow-blobbed infrastructure; followed by a montage recapping SF1, the Parade of Nations, and another flash mob. Adding the Parade of Nations to the semi-finals seems unnecessary though. There is no artist performance in the opening, as the show cuts straight to the hosts. Sweden is the winner of this semi-final; topping both the jury and televote in the process. Not only that, “Heroes” is actually the biggest semi-final winner in ESC history – with 90.4% of maximum possible points. Only 6 countries didn't give Måns a “douze points”. Elsewhere, the juries saved Azerbaijan in exchange for Czechia. Ironic since Azerbaijan is usually a televote favourite. Meanwhile, the televote saved Montenegro and Poland – the latter of which ranked 16th with the juries. Malta and Ireland were in the jury top 10 instead. Also of note, Malta would've qualified under 2016 rules. The interval segment honours notable Austrian people again, by showcasing how their achievements impacted Eurovision. Later, there's another segment covering the mishaps and funny moments from the voting sequences of past contests. The theme of SF1 was serious message songs, and the theme of SF2 is mixed gender duets!

✓ Lithuania: Monika Linkytė and Vaidas Baumila - This Time “This Time” is textbook Eurovision camp. But of the fun and cute variety, not the cringe kind. The live performance makes a splash: the duo closes their eyes and holds hands during the “every time I close my eyes” line. They spin each other around during the “round and round” part. They separate to join their respective friend groups. They exchange a kiss after the “ONE KISS” shout, while the song halts for dramatic effect. They pull each other's hand across stage. And they get intimately close during the bridge. Moreover, Monika and Vaidas have great (although hammy) chemistry, and they sound excited. The LED screen, meanwhile, depicts rotating sunbeam shapes with bright colours. The song itself channels the folk-pop trend of the mid 2010s, a la Mumford & Sons. It begins with a jumpy, ejecting acoustic guitar. Then the chorus becomes a jamboree, featuring forceful percussion bangs. The second verse then unleashes an eager banjo. While the final chorus transition uses twinkle bells and a “HEY” shout. There's some “wah ah oh”'s and hand claps sprinkled throughout as well. Overall, the song has an excitable, “can't sit still” rhythm to it. With a smitten, feelgood, innocent, joyous vibe. Also, the “IM FEEEEELING LOOOVE” hook is easily catchy. × Ireland: Molly Sterling - Playing with Numbers It's funny how I started rating Ireland higher once they stopped qualifying. “Playing with Numbers” is a piano-led confession ballad. In the song, Molly takes ownership for why the relationship failed. She started with the best intentions, but ended up telling “white lies” and “playing the victim”. She hid away when the truth was exposed. And now she feels “a debt to be paid”. The “playing with numbers” metaphor surmises the situation – which I assume means that she recklessly gambled and risked everything. Molly then claims she was unaware at the time, but has since gained perspective. I suppose admitting it is the first step to growing. It's a reflective and guilt-ridden song. And Molly gives a heartfelt performance. On stage, she sits at an upright piano, next to backing singers that look sad. There's autumnal, sunset orange colours and a hazy camera filter used as well. It creates a calm and cozy setting. The instrumental, meanwhile, has a soft texture. While the melody is enhanced by echoes from the backing, particularly on the “And I made...” and the “give a little love...” parts. The verses have a reflective atmosphere that kind of floats in the breeze. And the chorus inserts some swelling orchestral booms. × San Marino: Anita Simoncini and Michele Perniola - Chain of Lights Uh... bring back Valentina please. This is so messy. The instrumental goes in confusing directions, and the vocal melody is completely mismatched. As is the lyrical theme. I'm shocked Ralph Siegel composed it. The vocals are mediocre as well. The song starts with Michele greeting the audience with a “no!” While the first verse is filled with sawing strings, alongside inserts of a drum machine and piano pings. A heartbeat also pounds when Anita arrives. The second verse later introduces a trip-hop beat that seems out of place. And then it feels like a different song when the chorus lyrics alter. The chorus attempts to be an encompassing, inspirational anthem. However, the troubled atmosphere isn't suited for the positive approach. The production undercuts any power it could have. The bridge then dials back to allow a clap-along breakdown while Anita responds in a talking voice. It's all so incoherent. Moreover, the chorus is cheesy and meaningless. The song is a call for togetherness to illuminate the world in a “chain of light” of candles. The stage even illuminates during that line. The duo believes in making world peace a reality, but the message falls flat. They're all smiles on stage, but it feels forced. And the globe on screen has been done before. ✓ Montenegro: Knez - Adio Željko Joksimović helps Montenegro attain their best placement to date at 13th. It's also the most recent time this country has qualified (as of 2022). “Adio” is a Balkan ballad that builds in intensity. The intro establishes an outdoorsy feel; via a harp and a violin tracing the song's melody, followed by pattering hand drums. Meanwhile the backing singers are frozen in place; kneeling on a floor that resembles water. The first verse remains graceful, as the accordion sneaks in. Then the first chorus restrains itself. The atmosphere becomes fuller in the second verse, as the lights turn from blue to red. Then the second chorus adds the forceful, sloshing, bouncing percussion stomps midway through. They persist for the rest of the song; only pausing for the transition. It's a commanding drum beat. The bridge holds the tension with the “oh oh oh” chant and everyone spinning with their arms spread apart. Finally, the backing vocalists intensify the last chorus. They look rather serious too. In the lyrics, Knez's lover asks him to let go, but he can't move on. Even though he didn't do them wrong (assuming that's what “mists of the mountains” and “depths of the waters” refers to). Certain lyrics use repetition well too. And Knez is a confident performer. The song isn't anything new, but Željko has perfected the Balkan ballad formula with “epic” build-ups. The melody gets stuck in my head too. × Malta: Amber - Warrior The other “Warrior” from 2015. And the unlucky 11th placer of this semi-final. The juries tried though! The song is a piece of advice that aims to inspire courage. It's directed towards those who choose to suffer in silence; since fear of failure holds them back. Amber refutes this way of thinking, however. She promises that being a “warrior” is a more rewarding path. You have to fail to succeed. She presents this message in a reasonable and encouraging manner. She's on our side. Musically, the song begins muted and shy. The second verse recoils as well. But the rest is mainly driven by a dense, stumbling, dubstep-ish drum beat. They convey a sense of standing strong. While the orchestral strings expand the soundscape. The song actually has a moody and misty atmosphere. And the ending is an affirmation. Towards the end, there's pyro eruptions that match the flames on screen, which is a neat visual. Amber is a good vocalist too – the “break” and “create” exclamations power the chorus. Although that chorus is too clunky to be catchy. The melody isn't memorable enough. And inevitably, I can't help comparing Malta's “Warrior” to Georgia's “Warrior”, and this is the weaker one. ✓ Norway: Mørland and Debrah Scarlett - A Monster Like Me Norway matches their 8th place finish from last year. This time it's with a personal duet ballad. The song starts with Mørland opening up and confessing to a dark secret – he did something terrible when he was a kid, although he never mentions what that transgression is. It's so bad it's unspeakable! So he decides to end the relationship, believing it's the right thing to do. He isn't the idealized “prince” he lead to her to believe. He sounds ashamed of himself and undeserving of her love, even using the term “monster”. Debrah then chimes in with a mournful voice. She pulled the truth out of him and she's in shock. I doesn't sound forgiving though. As for the instrumental, it's pretty bare at the start. The song is guided by a sparse piano, alongside strings and frequent orchestral swells. The bridge later adds some unsettled humming. While the final chorus bursts open in a climactic moment, as the drums and big vocals take over. Overall, the song moves at a slow and careful pace. Normally I would find this dull. But it's a beautiful song. And the pace accentuates the heartbreaking, fragile, vulnerable, sensitive performance from the two singers. Their body language shows emotion too. As does the “I better let you go” line. Plus the camera work is decent. The simple staging makes sense. × Portugal: Leonor Andrade - Há um mar que nos separa Yeah... this is pretty forgettable. The background “HEY AHH OOH”s are nice though. They're repeated after each chorus line. Plus the production has some quirky moments. The first verse inserts a light electric guitar and a springy synth. While the second verse contains a buzzing guitar and a synth that bounces like a ping-pong ball. It also slows down on the last line with a fuzzy shimmering sound. The song also has a clappy rhythm. Otherwise, Leonor is quite animated on stage. She stands against a wind machine and grips that mic stand by the end. Her hairstyle and long black cloak reminds me of Loreen. Lyrically, the song is about how Leonor's longing and yearning will vanquish the “sea that separates” her from this person. The tone isn't depressing, however; it's actually more pleasant, hopeful and assured. That said, the melody passively floats along too much, even with the key change. Despite her elongating the start of the chorus lines, that chorus goes nowhere. And the pop-rock instrumentation is pretty mild throughout. It's a nice enough song, but it doesn't leave enough of an impression. × Czech Republic: Marta Jandová and Václav Noid Bárta - Hope Never Dies It's another interactive duet! Czechia returns after an extended break, but they haven't found their footing just yet. Maybe Václav's raspy voice was off-putting. Or maybe the song is too intense and over dramatic. Indeed, the vocals become shout-y by the end of it. And the song is tedious at times. But the melody is strong – the back-and-forth exchange helps it stick. The “IN YOUR EYES...I CAN SEE...” part is a great hook too. In the song, Václav asks Marta to wait for her, but the “ravens” (which are bad omen) are taking her away. On stage, the pair stands distanced from each other, with Marta avoiding eye contact. The break-up is implied to be inevitable and deterministic. That is until Marta changes her mind. She declares “Or we can rise and fight”, as she tosses her high heels across the stage, which is camp. They then hold each other at the end. They also bring expressive body language, as the camera cuts between them often. While the screen depicts rows of spinning vertical mirrors. The atmosphere is pretty bleak, grim and hopeless throughout. Like they're singing from the darkest depths. The harpsichord(?) on the first chorus adds to that. As does Václav's raspy voice. The song is a mainly a piano ballad, with the orchestral backing arriving later. The instrumental is a bit old-fashioned though. ✓ Israel: Nadav Guedj - Golden Boy Israel breaks a 4-year NQ streak with a bang! While the song begins as a guitar ballad, where Nadav cries to his “mama” about his broken heart. The tempo soon jumps into an “Ethno-pop” party song. He goes out dancing to forget her. He also personifies male bravado; calling himself a “golden boy” in a mocking tone. He acts like a show-off that can charm the ladies. It's a ridiculous and cringy, entry; but it doesn't take itself too seriously. Nadav even wears golden shoes on stage. Also, the “gotta go three minutes” sign-off (referring to the ESC time limit) and the snapshot is a camp ending. Otherwise, the song is incredibly catchy (“let me show you Tel Aviv!”). The verses zigzag and strut around (“take. me. out.”) And the second one further breaks down for a drink-pouring sound effect and a trap-y beat. The pre-chorus then escalates things, culminating in the “3-2-1 [pyro blast] HEY” countdown. Plus a squiggly sound. The chorus, meanwhile, unleashes the traditional instrumentation and the rattling drums. It's a dance-able rhythm. Those drums hold through the bridge, which leads to some bangs and a key change. The ending involves sparklers and a “dance dance dance” bit. It's a dynamic song and it injects energy into the arena. The choreography is lively as well – with the jumping, hip thrusting, and the leaning/wiggling move. Israel really threw everything at this entry. Nadav shows off his vocals too. ✓ Latvia: Aminata - Love Injected My winner of 2015, as predictable as that is. And a contender for Latvia's best entry. Forget “Not Alone”, this is the best dubstep entry. Although “Love Injected” is the brooding variety of that genre, not the menacing kind. Anyways, this song is all about the verse/chorus contrast. They have differing vocal styles and production. The former is more subtle – Aminata uses a high-pitched coo; alongside some clinks, claps and quivers. They're all light sounds and it's a very mystical atmosphere. On the flip side, the chorus strikes hard – she projects her voice across the arena (“YOUR LOVE...”), as the bass-line grinds, revs and shivers. There's a sturdiness to it. The backing and the stretched percussion boosts it as well. This part is when the injection kicks in; when she's overcome with the intensity of love. The bridge then sees the dubstep warp, alongside raindrop-like drums and a different quiver. While the outro contains a series of goosebumps-inducing “OH-OH OHHHH OH”s. The lyrics seem straightforward – they describe the power that this person's love has over Aminata. She feels secure in this connection. On stage, she stands still in a red dress, while the screen flashes between windows and some red and white spikes “growing” from her body. It's a cool aesthetic. She is a natural performer as well. ✓ Azerbaijan: Elnur Hüseynov - Hour of the Wolf Elnur returns from 2008; where he was a part of Azerbaijan's screaming debut entry. He still showcases his classical vocals here, even sounding operatic at times. But it's much less polarizing than “Day After Day” was. Both songs are thematic too, with this one embracing a “wolf” metaphor. It refers to Elnur declaring his undying determination to fight; and thereby quit wallowing in hurt. He mentions being anxious for tomorrow, and the ravenous nature of wolves. The title itself signifies his moment to strike. Elnur also howls at the start. Plus there's a moon and a dark forest on screen. And there's two interpretive dancers on “all fours”. They also “physically attack” each other, while Elnur mediates in the middle. He seems like an actor on that stage. Otherwise, the song starts as a piano ballad; followed by strings and faint marching drums. The verses have a windy woods atmosphere, while the chorus becomes more theatrical. The melody gets stretched out, as it's set to the pace of courageous orchestral stomps. It has a “summoning strength” vibe. Elnur's vocals amplify as well (ie. “NO I... WON'T SLEEP... TONIGHT”). And he becomes more bombastic on the second (and final) chorus, which also involves a key change. But this entry is “mid tier” for me. × Iceland: Maria Olafs - Unbroken Thus begins a 4-year NQ streak for Iceland. Maria's shaky live vocals probably didn't help. But the song is also way too repetitive. The melody just follows the same 3-line structure over and over again. It's basically one long never-ending chorus. The lyrics offer little variety as well, as they flip between the same 2 stanzas. Each one starts with the phrase “one step at a time”... which is said 15 times in total. The elongated “Unbroooooken” hooks are the only reprieve. The words are a generalized message of letting go and heading towards a new and better path. That said, Maria delivers it with an innocent and likable charm. There's a pure and wholesome positive atmosphere to this. And her ballerina dress matches that. She brings confident stage presence in her smiles and dance moves. The studio version sounds better as well. Other staging moments include the footsteps on the floor; Maria shoving the camera away; and the glitter release. Also, the production has more structure. It's a percussion-dominant song. The “verses” patter, the “pre-chorus” tugs, the “chorus” bops along, and the “bridge” gets amped up. The chorus also ends with dramatic bangs, matched with camera cuts and light flashes. But this is one of those songs I want to like more than I actually do. ✓ Sweden: Måns Zelmerlöw - Heroes (winner review in Grand Final post) × Switzerland: Mélanie René - Time to Shine This is an odd choice for last place. The message isn't the most original, but Mélanie communicates it in a convincing way. And the production has an ominous atmosphere, which stops it from sounding cheesy. In the song, Mélanie decides to not hide herself anymore. She once felt afraid and alone with low self-esteem. But now it's her “time to shine”! For her to stand up. And her life is better because of it. She represents this transformation by removing her black cloak (which she wears whilst detailing her dark times) to reveal a white dress. This happens right when the first chorus hits... and again for the final chorus. Otherwise, the verses have a woodsy vibe; featuring claps (accompanied by lightning flashes), a wooden instrument, and an ominous bass-line. The dark blue stage and the forest imagery on screen complement this vibe. The chorus is more crowded and strong-willed, as it's boosted by guitars, emphatic drums and prominent backing vocalists. The backing also strikes those drums on stage dramatically. There's an electric guitar moment later on as well. And the final chorus sees Mélanie go for the ad libs amongst some smoke puffs. The atmosphere captures the “rising from the darkness” theme. ✓ Cyprus: John Karayiannis - One Thing I Should Have Done And this is an odd choice for a qualifier. The chorus melody reminds me of “Save the Best for Last” by Vanessa Williams. The song itself is a minimalist, acoustic, coffeehouse ballad with a modest approach. The performance also begins with a vintage black-and-white filter. The lyrics start as a typical sad break-up song. John claims he “always did everything for you”. But then he later corrects himself to say he failed at that. He repeats the line “I should have been there for you” four times, as the guitar pauses for tension. The orchestra swells and the strings quiver each time he says that line. He wasn't there in their “hour of need”, and that's why it ended. All it took was one blunder. There's some twinkles leading into the final chorus as well; and the orchestra remains. John performs this with a calm voice for the most part. But he sounds too “matter of fact”. Moreover, the instrumental is too bare, the song is basically a lullaby, and the lyrical concept is uninteresting to me. The song is kind of basic. ✓ Slovenia: Maraaya - Here for You Once again I am a sucker for Slovenia. Firstly, the bizarre staging is both novel and oddly charming. Marjetka wears headphones and the backing dancer does the air violin (as opposed to air guitar). She moves her “bow” quite exaggeratedly too. The camera cuts to her and the pianist often. But besides that, “Here for You” has a very entrancing production. The song begins and ends as a daydream-y piano ballad. The beat kicks in after that intro. The verses are driven by these intrusively pounding drums, like a ball being slammed at the floor. This part is more confrontational with a suspended atmosphere. There's also stray violin moments throughout the song. Following this, a series of rouge, meandering piano notes transition to the chorus. Said chorus sees the drums ease as Marjetka offers a reassurance. The second verse adds a bonus “Everybody else sees in black and white...” part. The lyrics describe the imbalance in her relationship – when they first met, her lover helped open her heart. But now the roles are reversed, and they're closing themselves off from her. Marjetka isn't annoyed or anything though. Instead, she offers support, which is a mature stance. She sings with a sweet and reassuring voice too. Also, the “When you're down, down low” hook is pretty catchy. And the piano and violin bits get lodged in my head pretty easily. ✓ Poland: Monika Kuszyńska - In the Name of Love Forget about Cyprus, this might be the snooze-fest of 2015. The melody is as flat as a pancake and I always forget how it goes. Monika seems compassionate, but the chorus is too lifeless to really carry the mood. And the way the contest's slogan is inserted into the lyrics feels too deliberate (ie. “let's build the bridge”). The song does pick up during the bridge though, where the instrumental builds up. And there's a loveliness and prettiness to the verses. They sound poetic. And they're like taking a deep breath or reaching a point of acceptance. The way the piano “tickles” every now and again is nice too. In the song, Monika lifts someone up who is feeling despondent. And she pushes for building a bridge of connections. The stage, meanwhile, has a pink setting – including the piano and the tree blossoms on screen. While Monika wears a glowing white dress, as she extends her arm outwards with the train attached to her finger. I guess this symbolizes openness. The side screens also show black-and-white videos of Monika before she was paralyzed. But yeah, this is a pretty dry ballad. My Ranking: 01. Latvia: Aminata - Love Injected ✓ 02. Slovenia: Maraaya - Here for You ✓ 03. Norway: Mørland and Debrah Scarlett - A Monster Like Me ✓ 04. Montenegro: Knez - Adio ✓ 05. Ireland: Molly Sterling - Playing with Numbers 06. Lithuania: Monika Linkytė and Vaidas Baumila - This Time ✓ 07. Azerbaijan: Elnur Hüseynov - Hour of the Wolf ✓ 08. Sweden: Måns Zelmerlöw - Heroes ✓ 09. Switzerland: Mélanie René - Time to Shine 10. Israel: Nadav Guedj - Golden Boy ✓ 11. Czech Republic: Marta Jandová and Václav Noid Bárta - Hope Never Dies 12. Malta: Amber - Warrior 13. Iceland: Maria Olafs - Unbroken 14. Portugal: Leonor Andrade - Há um mar que nos separa 15. Poland: Monika Kuszyńska - In the Name of Love ✓ 16. Cyprus: John Karayiannis - One Thing I Should Have Done ✓ 17. San Marino: Anita Simoncini and Michele Perniola - Chain of Lights This is actually a pretty strong semi-final.

Vienna 2015 – Semi Final 1

Host: Austria Slogan: “Building Bridges” Participants: 40 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - combined) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host + AUSTRALIA General Overview: The show's opening sequence begins with some rainbow-coloured blotches arranged in the shapes of city infrastructure; followed by a montage recapping Conchita's win from Copenhagen. After that, the stage opens up to reveal an orchestra playing “Rise Like A Phoenix”. Austria are known for birthing classical composers after all. And seeing an orchestra reappear in Eurovision feels nostalgic. Conchita then steps out to sing the lyrics. She cuts through the aisleway in the audience, and leads the Parade of Nations. There's even a flash mob during this! After her performance, Conchita sticks around to host the Green Room all 3 nights. I love how prominent she is. 2015 sees Cyprus, Czechia and Serbia all return; however Bulgaria and Croatia are still out. Incidentally, this is the first time Czechia has participated in 6 years. Australia also debuts as an auto-qualifier (extending the Grand Final record to 27 entries). While Ukraine had to withdraw, partly due to the Crimea situation. Russia were still allowed to compete however... which is messed up. Speaking of Russia, they are the winner of this semi-final, topping both the jury and televote in the process. Otherwise, the juries saved Hungary at the expense of Finland. While the televoters saved Armenia and Serbia at the expense of the the Netherlands and Belarus. However, there was a 21-point gap between #10 and #11, so the SF1 qualifiers were pretty safe. The interval act is called “Pets in Vienna”, where the hosts attach a camera to their respective pets, and send them off to roam the city. It follows their antics while various ESC songs play in the background. It's a little silly. Later on, there's a different segment honouring the achievements of Austrians, by comparing them to past ESC artists. This one was nice. Otherwise, the qualifier announcing lacked some suspense lol.

× Moldova: Eduard Romanyuta - I Want Your Love We start with Moldova's annual supply of memorable staging. This year, the backing dancers are dressed in police uniforms, which is a bit campy. One of them acts as Eduard's love interest, so she wears a sexually revealing one. She also shakes her butt, puts her leg in the air, and yanks his shirt off at one point. Her interactions seem seductive though. And the choreography is well-designed – much of it happens on this steel structure on stage. The floor also resembles a helipad (for a police chopper?) As for the song, “I Want Your Love” is driven by a thick dance-pop beat. It's kind of like wading through sludge. The production revs and grinds; alongside slight whistles. The intro and the chorus give a commanding presence, while the verses follow a strutting rhythm. The synths also drop out during the pre-chorus (“The future that you’re painting”), where the backing vocals fill the void. It's an effective transition. The chorus also kicks off with a pyro blast. The bridge later adds some falling strings. The lyrics, meanwhile, are typical infatuation stuff. Overall, “I Want Your Love” is a fun entry, but the “what I want, what I want...” hook is repetitive in a clumsy way, which deflates the chorus. And Eduard's smirks are too much. The production is kinda generic too. ✓ Armenia: Genealogy - Face the Shadow So to recognize the 100th anniversary of the Armenian Genocide, Genealogy came together to address the deniers of it. Needless to say, Turkey and Azerbaijan weren't pleased. The group consists of 5 artists from 5 continents to demonstrate the country's diaspora; plus Inga (from the 2009 contest) to represent Armenia itself. At one point, the 6 of them “migrate” across a world map on stage. The lyrics urge facing the inconvenient truth (ie. “Face every shadow you deny”). It mentions things like cowardice, lying to oneself, and how the truth is freeing. It's a guilt trip and the 6 singers convey solemnity on stage. They're spreading an important message about a horrifying injustice that lacks awareness... but the musicality is a tedious mess. The arrangement struggles to cohesively balance these 6 different vocal styles. The harmonies and the production/tempo shifts feel off. Such as the staggering beat in the later choruses, and the deceleration around the song title. The song rotates through piano ballad, graceful opera, metallic(?) guitar, church bells, and angsty rock. There's also a quivering instrumental break that veers off course. The atmosphere intensifies towards the end, with the shrieking pleas of “DOOOON'T DEEEEENY!!!”, but that part is overbearing instead of haunting. The “time is ticking” part is nice though. ✓ Belgium: Loïc Nottet - Rhythm Inside It was only a matter of time until Lorde's influence found its way to Eurovision. Here, Loïc brings his brand of quirky minimalist indie-electro-pop to the contest. As well as some peculiar choreography – the backing members march stiffly, jerk their necks around, and point upwards; all while wearing anonymous white clothing. It's very robotic. Loïc, meanwhile, shows some intense expressions. He also lays under someone's foot and “yanks” his head at certain points. The stage is futuristic in a sterile, colourless way. Especially with the bright white light. The song itself is existential. The lyrics allude to heaven and hell, the choices we make, and how we treat each other. Loïc proclaims he's “gonna get that rhythm back” (ie. change his path). The music includes a “ra-pa-pab” hook, finger snaps, and virtual boops that sound like a machine tone. It has an assembly line rhythm to it. The verses further contain a breathing bass-line and eerie “ohhhh”s from the backing. While the chorus sees that bass-line swell up through a dull synth; as it launches with an ominous exclamation of “And if we die tomorrow!” Loïc gives the song a troubled and distressed tone. Overall, it's a dystoptian yet resolute song. × Netherlands: Trijntje Oosterhuis - Walk Along The one hiccup during the Netherlands' recent revival. Which is understandable since “WHY-Y-Y” has to be the most irritating hook of 2015. The song is relentless with it too, especially towards the end. It becomes the most dominant aspect of this entry. Moreover, “Walk Along” is such a whiny song, both vocally and lyrically. The production is monotonous as well. It's hard to believe this was written by Anouk. In the song, Trijntje cries and pleads to not be friend-zoned. She tries everything but they still don't notice her. Her voice is filled with frustration and desperation. She looks tearful on stage, she cries her heart out, and she provides a scratchy voice. But that voice is grating. The performance begins with a close-up shot of Trijntje's eyes in a black veil, which is out of focus at first. She then rips the veil off. Later on, a glow-in-the-dark setting reveals the letters “LOVE” written on her fingers. The staging is a misfire though. Musically, the first verse and the bridge stick to the acoustic guitar. While the rest of the song follows a “clacking” percussion. The chorus sort of throbs and releases. But the instrumental mostly repeats in the same circle. × Finland: Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät - Aina mun pitää The last placed entry of this semi-final, despite reaching 10th in the televote. But that's because the juries gave it one point. This year, Finland sends a punk rock band consisting of adults with either Down Syndrome or autism. In the song, the narrator lists his daily obligations, and what he's not allowed to do. He sounds like someone who is over-supervised and wishes for more freedom. I appreciate the band's perspective and I'm glad that Eurovision is open to everyone to participate. But this is not a melodic song, nor a dynamic one. “Aina” maintains the same guitar groove from beginning to end, without much of a verse-chorus structure. It lacks variation or progression. It's like a consistent noise. There's some grunts and screams sprinkled in, and a rebellious tone, but the singer's growling vocal is difficult to listen to. Even if that style matches instrumentation. Also of note, “Aina” is the shortest song in Eurovision history at 1:27. ✓ Greece: Maria Elena Kyriakou - One Last Breath Maria's intense “Celine Dion ballad” didn't regain Greece's top 10 status, but maybe the atmosphere is a little excessive. “One Last Breath” is a very melodramatic song in all aspects – the lyrics, the vocal delivery, and the instrumentation. Maria is left feeling insignificant, defenseless, and betrayed from this “fake love”. She sounds floored, bitter, and anguished. She begs them to come back, but not in a pathetic way. She uses hyperbolic language (ie. “You killed me and I’m done, without a gun” and “take me out of this fiery hell”), culminating in the “ONE LAST BREATH” exclamation, to convey the severity. The song begins as a sombre piano ballad. The atmosphere heightens in the chorus as the thunder rolls; while the piano trickles like raindrops. The second verse sort of drifts to the pace of gradual footsteps. But then, the song undergoes a sudden instrumental switch. The tempo speeds up and the electric guitars downpour over the arena. The atmosphere becomes SO intense during this part, especially with the dramatic pauses. The song basically transforms into hurricane strength, while Maria's huge vocal withstands it. The last chorus then gets surrounded by the oncoming flood. The staging is pretty simplistic though. She stands against a wind machine and blue lighting. ✓ Estonia: Elina Born and Stig Rästa - Goodbye to Yesterday It's funny how Estonia reaches the top 10 every 3 contests. This time, it's with an interactive duet that offers both sides of the story. In “Goodbye to Yesterday”, Stig walks out on Elina while she's asleep, believing he isn't good enough. But Elina chimes in to basically say “WTF”. She asks to put the fight behind them and reassures he's overreacting. It's a mature perspective with down-to-Earth lyrics and a levelheaded approach. They're just trying to reason with each other. The way Stig describes his morning (like smiling at the dog), and Elina's “lying here naked and staring at the phone” line are relatable. Moreover, the staging is brilliant; particularly the camera work and lighting. The performance starts with Stig standing in a dark room illuminated by an open doorway. Elina then opens another door to join him, but he avoids her glance. After walking forward, they finally make eye-contact via titled camera angles. He looks somber and she looks annoyed. They have great chemistry and their vocal styles match. And I love how Stig visually disappears at the end, just like he does in the lyrics. The song itself is downbeat, bluesy and melancholic. The instrumentation holds a consistent rhythm, but features occasional horns, booming drums, and bass guitar to keep things fresh. It also goes quiet at one point to allow an emotional exchange. × F.Y.R. Macedonia: Daniel Kajmakoski - Autumn Leaves This is a fairly innocuous non-qualifier, but I have soft spot for it. “Autumn Leaves” is a nostalgic song about a childhood crush. Daniel reflects on the simpler, carefree times. But things have changed and he's struggling to adjust. He expresses this through the “autumn leaves” metaphor – like the changing colours and seasons, and how a leaf loses grip from a tree branch. The song starts as a smooth and wistful piano ballad. Then the pre-chorus brings in a squeaky beat and some backing singers to give a comforting texture. Those 3 backing singers are members of Blackstreet by the way (which is a random appearance). They sway about in their sunglasses and give Daniel a nodding approval at the end. The chorus, meanwhile, builds tension through anticipatory percussion and the “Every moment will hurt...” and “My heart is beating...” parts leaping out. It's like he's forcefully holding on to that branch. But instead of exploding at the climax, the song sinks back to the squeaky beat. It's as if Daniel finally lets go and lets nature take its course. Meanwhile the screen depicts columns and... autumn leaves. Overall, it's a nice song, but somewhat basic. ✓ Serbia: Bojana Stamenov - Beauty Never Lies Serbia's empowering body positivity anthem puts them in the top 10. Bojana sings with pride, as she declares her self-love and self-acceptance, and shares her journey of discovering her beauty. The performance also has a super effective costume/instrumental change in the middle of it. It starts with Bojana alone in the spotlight, sounding reserved against some subtle sounds. Then 4 dramatic bangs upon “Now... I know... the truth!” introduce the chorus. The ensuing chorus is a valiant fist-pump, alongside some background “ohhhhhh”s to add tension. There's also sign language during the second one. Meanwhile, the backing dancers are concealed by white robes and masks. But suddenly, the song jumps into a speedy, early-2010s-style, dance-club production; while the backing ditches those concealments to reveal bright outfits and faces. The beat excitedly skids around as Bojana screams with confidence. This switch-up represents the transformation in the song where Bojana used to have low self-esteem, but has since grown to love herself. And she's ready to show off to the world! The song basically goes from introvert to extrovert. It's a confident affirmation, and the “finally I can say” bit is a good hook too. ✓ Hungary: Boggie - Wars for Nothing 2015 has no shortage of serious message songs, but I think this is the most effective one. The message resonated with me back then, and still does in 2022. The title says it all – Boggie is emotionally distraught by all the needless death and destruction that plagues our planet. She mentions how we all deserve a chance at life, how the First World usually ignores it, how the innocent get dragged into it, and how the reasons are unjustifiable. The lyrics are pretty blunt. And there's plenty of anger and disgust in Boggie's voice. She wants the listener to hear her, even if it's an uncomfortable topic. The music, meanwhile, is an acoustic guitar folk song the entire way through. The instrumental is stripped down, which keeps the focus on the message and allows for direct communication. The growing and shrinking harmonies power things instead. The tension peaks at the “Do you know how many innocents” part. There's a clear melody as well, especially in the ending lines (such as “All the wars / for nothing / It neee.. ver.. ends”). So despite being a weighty song, it isn't a tedious one. The swirling guns and the gun tree on screen are a little obvious though. × Belarus: Uzari and Maimuna - Time #StandWithUkraine Well, the “time is like thunder hah-hah” hook stands out; as does the spinning camera around the violinist. But this entry lacks something. That violinist (Maimuna) looks frightened and uncertain too. The song starts as a soft piano ballad, like a sober confession. While a cardiogram line shaped as love hearts crosses the screen behind Uzari. He ponders about feeling lost and finding his way. Soon enough, the production switches to upbeat dance-pop, where the chorus bounces along. In the second verse, the synths are kind of broody and Uzari talks about how time is of the essence. He also interacts with Maimuna on stage. The bridge then throws in thunderclap slams and a violin solo. And later, the beat drops out for a clappy build into the final chorus. That all said, this song isn't as “epic” as it wants to be. Maybe the melodrama is too weak, or maybe that “hah-hah” hook is too awkward. I don't know, the execution is underwhelming to me. The lyrics don't really say anything interesting either. And the strings on screen look like toilet paper. ✓ Russia: [REDACTED] - A Million Voices #StandWithUkraine So... Polina recently sang at a pro-war rally, and for that reason I have disqualified “A Million Voices” from my ranking. It would've been in my top 5 before February as well. It even reached #2 on my personal chart back in 2015. From a pure musicality standpoint, this was THE power ballad anthem of the year. She gives a convincing performance too. It was one of the few times where I felt Russia actually deserved their placement. But to have her spread a message of peace and unity immediately after Russia invaded Crimea was in poor taste. And now she looks like a complete hypocrite. Was this song just propaganda? I can't stomach listening to it right now. × Denmark: Anti Social Media - The Way You Are From hosting to not even qualifying. Although this does sound like an obvious non-qualifier. This year Denmark selects a 1960s-style garage rock band with goofy stage presence. But it comes off cringy – like the multiple cuts to the drummer making sour lips, or the lead singer's annoying smiles. The eager guitarists are less bothersome though. Furthermore, the song is incredibly basic. It's about the positive affect the narrator's crush has on him. He later promises devotion in the bridge. The mood is established with light and breezy instrumentation. But the chorus is so empty, unoriginal and anti-climactic. That “it's just the way you are!” lyric is such lazy writing. Sure, there is a stomping build into that chorus. Plus the backing singers add some sweet-toned ad libs. The instrumental drops out to start the last chorus. And there's a “Because it’s all about you” outro. But I don't know... it's all very generic and indistinct. I don't like lead singer's voice either. Otherwise, the stage lighting resembles vertical blinds opening and closing. ✓ Albania: Elhaida Dani - I'm Alive One of the many times Albania finishes in 16th or 17th. This one is an honest emotion ballad. The mood is driven by Elhaida's voice losing control as the song progresses. She shakily shoves her way through the chorus, like she needs this tortuous pain to end now, while the drums sweep and pound to convey restless determination. That chorus has an instability to it. It's like Elhaida is holding on with a tight grip, especially when her voice gets scream-y later on. The song also begins and ends with a cozy acoustic guitar and warm backing vocals (ie. those “hey yeah yeah”s). Which allows her anguished moments to be surrounded with an embrace. It's a gentle opening and a cathartic ending. The backing further adds a “Baby, please come back” part. In the song, Elhaida opens up about how she was afraid to let this person in, and then they hurt her anyways. However, she's “blinded by this love” and still needs them. She “just can't help it”. She screams for them to come back. Maybe she's dependent, but she's aware of it. She also has personable stage presence. Interestingly, this wasn't the song Elhaida won FiK with – that was “Diell”. But the songwriters requested it to be withdrawn. ✓ Romania: Voltaj - De la capăt And here's another serious message song. This one is dedicated to the children whose parents have to work abroad, which is a prevalent reality in Romania. The lyrics seem to be from the perspective of the parent. The song explores themes of determination, not focusing on regrets, and their child being their inspiration to carry on. Meanwhile, the LED screen depicts images of sad children alongside stacks of shipping containers. There's also suitcases on stage. It aims to tug at the heartstrings. The song itself has a sweet and reassuring tone, rather than an anguished one, of missing someone. It begins as a piano ballad, but soon shifts to soft rock, and changes to English lyrics midway through. The chorus melody makes an effort, and there's some “wah-oh”s at the end. But overall... “De la capăt” is such a boring song. It moves at an innocuous pace. The verses are forgettable. And the instrumental is too mild and it doesn't build to anything. I think there's a hint of traditional pipes though? ✓ Georgia: Nina Sublatti - Warrior And here's the latest Thomas G:son offering... which is another sociopolitical song from 2015. “Warrior” is a response to the 2008 Russian occupation of Georgia. It's also the only time I've heard the word “oximiated” in song lyrics (it's a chemical term by the way). Anyways, the song is an empowerment anthem, where Nina stands firm and prepared; she's never backing down from the fight. She also gives a fierce performance that commands bravery. The verses are delivered in pairs of concise phrases, followed by a declaration (such as “World gonna get up and see”). While the instrumental is driven by intense, bellowing, persistent “tribal” drums that envelop the arena. It's a dark and ominous atmosphere that gives a sense of fearlessness. Nina's black clothing and hair complement this. The “ooooh” hooks and the drop down before the second chorus are highlights as well. But the biggest issue is that the chorus becomes repetitive towards the end. Nina literally says the same stanza 6 times in a row (and 8 times overall). Otherwise, Georgia makes great use of the LED screen here – the thunderclouds, the lightning flashes, the wings, the silver tears. Plus the blinding white light behind Nina. And of course there's the smokescreen, which is functional for now. My Ranking: 01. Estonia: Elina Born and Stig Rästa - Goodbye to Yesterday ✓ 02. Belgium: Loïc Nottet - Rhythm Inside ✓ 03. Albania: Elhaida Dani - I'm Alive ✓ 04. Georgia: Nina Sublatti - Warrior ✓ 05. Serbia: Bojana Stamenov - Beauty Never Lies ✓ 06. Greece: Maria Elena Kyriakou - One Last Breath ✓ 07. Hungary: Boggie - Wars for Nothing ✓ 08. Moldova: Eduard Romanyuta - I Want Your Love 09. F.Y.R. Macedonia: Daniel Kajmakoski - Autumn Leaves 10. Belarus: Uzari and Maimuna - Time 11. Romania: Voltaj - De la capăt ✓ 12. Denmark: Anti Social Media - The Way You Are 13. Netherlands: Trijntje Oosterhuis - Walk Along 14. Armenia: Genealogy - Face the Shadow ✓ 15. Finland: Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät - Aina mun pitää