EUROVISON SEMI FINALS PT.1

welcome to my heaviliy biased reaction/review :)

its a long one

CROATIA 7/10:

these old men dance funky and fuck nasty

its tacky. its camp. its eurovison

mama ;)

love mr missile man

!STRIP!STRIP!STRIP!STRIP!

vocals could have been stronger + old men could have been more naked

7/10

FINLAND 10/10:

Finland slays as always

VERY cunty

FINLAND WINS LITTLE MISS HEAVY QUEER TECHNO RAVE

love the lil crab dance

wonderful human centipede reference

i know who im voting for in the final

!!!!CHA!CHA!CHA!CHA!CHA!CHA!CHA!!!!

now this is eurovison

10/10 !!CUNT!!

GERMANY 9/10:

GAY GLITTERY VIOLENCE SO SLAY

they rlly got a latex vampire and fucking balls to the wall went for it

scream for me bbgorl

capitol fashion vibes

very eurovison

9/10

ITALY 3/10:

the first of the ballads

very eurovison /neg

(trampolies had me giggling)

glitter doesnt = slay. get better.

he did put his whole pussy into that

it wasnt enough tho

3/10 sure was a ballad bb

NORWAY 7/10:

it's giving Anne boylen????

odd take but slay

solid banger

a whistle note doesnt get u a win bb

eurovison approved :)

7/10

SERBIA 6/10:

go, twink! go!

serbia bringing the drama, slay

hewwo? game owver ;)

i see ur vison. its euro.

I liked his little giggle at the end

6/10

MALTA 4/10:

busting out some sexy sax

are those cardboard cut outs???

bitch dress fancier this is eurovison

!! road trip with the boys !!

theyre having fun in ikea

DID HE JUST DAB

4/10

LATVIA 2/10:

immidaitly funky

ew nevermind

okay wait…?

ew no

mid.

this is eurovison bring the pizazz or go home

2/10

PORTUGAL 8/10:

OH ITS GIVING !! SOMETHING!!! HELLO !!!!

portugal bringing the drama

red <3

could have gone harder. still slayed

7/10

IRELAND 2/10:

please dont be a ballad

fuck. okay. thank god.

stop making eye contact, twink

nice flares its giving knock off glitter elvis

drummer is having fun :)

i didnt like it

2/10

SWITZERLAND 1/10:

ew ballad :(

famously neutral country singing about not wanting to be being a soldier and war casulties

okay…. of all the countries… bbgorl

fun lil outfits.doesnt save u

unfortunatly i think eurovison wil eat this shit up

1/10

FRANCE 6/10:

NEVERMIND france brought the drama

oh the GLAMORE oh the DRAMA oh the EUROVISON

that sure is a Dress

!!SHOULDER PAD ALERT!!

mmmm its good but falls a little flat 4 me

wait where did her dress go

6/10

ISRAEL 4/10:

immidiate DRAMA

ourple :)

unicorn. we're sticking with that…. okay.

guys i think we wanna see her dance

4/10

MOLDOVA 6/10:

u were so good last year dont let me down

okay pop off king

hehe eyeball

love the drums and the headpieces :)

!! HELLO FUNKY FLUTE MAN !!

a bop

6/10

SWEDEN 5/10:

i want her to scratch my back with those nails

……im getting abba vibes???? sounds a little bit like the winner takes it all at the beginning

sweden, sweden, sweden smh

OH the drama of a hydrollic press

cracking vocals crickey well done

5/10

AZERBAIJAN 2/10:

pippin and merri made it to eurovision and theyre indi twinks now

its.okay.

was….that….it….?

2/10

CZECHIA 5/10:

oh this is fun

pink <3

swing em babes

uncanny clone doll vibes /pos

they know their audience (its me and i love barbie)

feminism :)

5/10

NETHERLANDS 2/10:

i just know ur gonna let me down

lo and behold i was right

another fucking ballad

STOP MAKING EYE CONTACT

ew straight people at eurovison

nevermind i think theyre lesbains

but that wont save them

god uses she/her pronouns :)

2/10 forgettable

ballad count: 3

best: Finland

worst: Switzerland

who made it thru:

Croatia :P

Moldova

Switzerland >:(

Findland !!!! :D

Czechia <3

Israel

Portugal :)

Sweden

Serbia (go!twink!go!)

Norway

final thoughts:

GERMANY WAS ROBBED!!! ROBBED !!!!!!!!!!!

i am being so normal about this <3

Just popping back up to promote my Substack, hello everyone, hope y'all doing well.

Have an article in these turbulent Eurovision times where I dissect my favourite song's (Estonia in case you all missed it by a longshot) chances. They won my heart and I want them to win yours, too. So if you'll still be watching in a way...

(Huge thanks to @placegrenette for shouting my stuff out in a post of yours earlier, I really appreciate it!)

Vienna 2015 – Grand Final

Host: Austria Slogan: “Building Bridges” Participants: 40 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - combined) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host + AUSTRALIA Winner: Måns Zelmerlöw - Heroes Country: Sweden Points: 365 (78.0% of highest score possible) Language: English General Overview: It's the 60th edition of Eurovision! Which marks the end of an era – the last contest to use the old points system (ie. where each country's jury and televote points were combined into a single aggregate score). It's also the longest Grand Final up to this point, with a run time of almost exactly 4 hours. The preceding years were roughly 30 minutes shorter. And it's remained around the 4-hour mark to this day. Needless to say, I'm pretty worn out by the end of it. Indeed, this is a long opening sequence. It starts with the Vienna Philharmonic in an outdoor venue; culminating in a group of people holding torches in a circle. Then, the rainbow blobbed infrastructure reappears. Followed by an edit of Conchita's winning moment and a long montage of various local activities. After all that, we transition to the live stage, where a violinist leads Austria's two winning songs. The wall opens up to reveal an orchestra, just like in the semi-final. Soon after, Conchita emerges from the floor, looking like a giant. She performs the theme song “Building Bridges”, where the 3 hosts arrive to “sing” along. As well as a children's choir and rapper Left Boy. The song changes to a hip-hop beat for the latter. Finally, the hosts lead the Parade of Nations. But wait, there's still a montage of people “transferring” objects or people between split screens, set to the soundtrack of “What If” (Russia 2013). That has not aged well. The presenters are Arabella Kiesbauer, Mirjam Weichselbraun and Alice Tumler. The dialogue is very scripted, but they're a likeable trio. The stage consists of the usual circular platform with an LED screen behind it. But with an additional archway constructed from numerous horizontal light tubes. There's also a collection of orbs hanging from the ceiling that move up and down in wave patterns. The Green Room is a raised platform in the back, with a walkway cutting through the audience that connects it to the stage. The postcards start with the artists greeting the camera, while a heartbeat pounds. This is followed by footage of the artists receiving a package in their home countries. They look at the gift, then look upwards to see someone greeting them and suddenly they're in Austria. They then partake in a local activity. The sequence concludes with the artists displayed on a billboard.

The interval act is the Percussive Planet Ensemble, which (unsurprisingly) features a wide variety of percussion. During which, the artists make heart shapes in the Green Room. There's also people holding art pieces on their heads and a classical choir joining in. Later on, Conchita performs the inspirational ballad “You Are Unstopped” and the piano house number “Firestorm”. She is a superstar! There's also a montage of winner reaction moments. The results are very top-heavy this year. Going by percentages, 2015 has the strongest top 3 of the “12-point era”. And 10th place only received 53 points. I'm guessing the Grand Final suffered from ballad fatigue. The entire 2nd half is basically slower tempo songs. The voting graphics show a nighttime globe that “builds bridges” to Vienna; with Vienna written in that country's language (although not the country name itself). The voting procedure is a messy one. Austria lost connection to three countries (Portugal, Estonia and Georgia), who were called back at the end. But what's truly surreal to re-watch in 2022 is... how Russia was leading for so long. It honestly looked like they had won it. And the audience was NOT here for it, despite the “anti-booing technology”. Conchita was even defending Polina in the Green Room. The crowd went NUTS when Sweden finally overtook on country #27. And the Russian spokesperson jokingly giving 12 points to his own country did not go over well. Also of note: the winner was announced early again. Slovenia: Maraaya - Here for You France: Lisa Angell - N'oubliez pas Another serious message song from 2015. “N'oubliez pas” commemorates the 100th anniversary of WWI, which resulted in nearly 2 million French people losing their lives. In the song, Lisa describes what it must've felt like at the time. To have your entire sense of security and peaceful lifestyle uprooted. She narrates about a village that was “erased from the maps and memories”. It was once a welcoming place with “children laughing” and “harvest celebrations”. But then the invading forces arrived with large numbers and weapons. The “words of hatred” line could apply to WWII as well. Lisa's message is “don't forget” about history. In the chorus, she declares “I am there” to show perseverance. They will rebuild. The instrumental starts very faint, with the guitar, piano and strings. It's a grieving and disheartening mood; as if standing in the rubble aftermath, too numb to speak. While the screen displays destroyed buildings and white doves. The piano emerges more in the first chorus. While the drums join in the second verse. And Lisa's vocals intensify from the second chorus. She sounds very passionate and emotional; particularly during the invading forces stanza. The strings become more pronounced too. For the final stanza, four marching band drummers come on stage (with plenty more on screen as the village rebirths). It's such a dreary song though, and the melody isn't that instant. Israel: Nadav Guedj - Golden Boy This needed to be 2nd half lol. Estonia: Elina Born and Stig Rästa - Goodbye to Yesterday United Kingdom: Electro Velvet - Still in Love with You And another mixed gender duet from 2015. Boy was this a low point for the UK. A campy entry that feels cynical, outdated and out of touch. The song combines 1920s Vaudeville with a rave. There's swinging violins, with a glitchy, techno soup beat attached that doesn't really belong. While the old-timey stage design switches to neon lights at times. There's also break dancing and commands for us to dance. In the song, the duo exchanges dialogue. Alex warns Bianca about her vacation and she responds to calm his worries. He cautions about wrong trains, old plains, and nasty diseases; while she tells him to take his medication. Alex is also worried of other suitors. She assures she'll be faithful. He tells her to not stay out late or drink too much. She says he needs to trust her. And she flicks her finger at him when saying the song title (to put him in his place?) This guy sounds very insecure and controlling. He blames it on her being “gorgeous” (eye roll). Bianca doesn't sound annoyed by it, as the song goes for a lighthearted, tongue-in-cheek tone. But it seems toxic. Otherwise, the song has a bouncy rhythm and the lyrics rhyme a lot. Especially that “-ize” stanza. Which is a bit silly. But the violins and the scatting are annoying. As are the “d-d-dance” / “everybody dance” / “oh yes” bits. Moreover, this entry seems like a parody or a joke. The smiles are too much. Armenia: Genealogy - Face the Shadow Lithuania: Monika Linkytė and Vaidas Baumila - This Time The kiss went on too long and they missed their cue. And that part is used in the recap... Serbia: Bojana Stamenov - Beauty Never Lies Norway: Mørland and Debrah Scarlett - A Monster Like Me Sweden: Måns Zelmerlöw - Heroes (winner review below) Cyprus: John Karayiannis - One Thing I Should Have Done RIP with this running order slot. Australia: Guy Sebastian - Tonight Again The top 5 placement seems driven by the hype of their debut. And by being an energetic song amongst the ballads. So Australia selects one of their biggest acts – Guy won the inaugural season of Australian Idol and he's topped the ARIA charts 6 times. “Tonight Again” is also a brass-heavy song right when “Uptown Funk” was everywhere. It starts with a moderately paced piano, as Guy suggests leaving behind your problems for tonight. The pre-chorus then escalates via the “do what you what you what you want” x3 build up + the horn yanks. While the chorus confidently struts forward in a free-flowing manner. It halts on the “forget tomorrow” bit; followed by an “oh ah oh” post-chorus from the backing. In the second verse, Guy mentions people judging this lifestyle. The title implies this avoidance is a cycle. But he's happy. For the bridge, the beat disappears then expands, as the pyro goes off and Guy ad libs. The performance ends with fireworks. On stage, there's a series of street lamps, while the screen shows a city street at night. It's like they're walking down it. The choreo is fluid too, with fist pumps, pointing, and Guy shuffling his legs. He's a professional performer who shows off his vigorous vocals. Which helps him sound eager. Overall, it's a slick entry with a catchy pre-chorus, and the horns keep things afloat. But it's kinda lacking in substance. Belgium: Loïc Nottet - Rhythm Inside Austria: The Makemakes - I Am Yours The first host entry to receive 0 points. Many of the upcoming ones will be towards the bottom of the scoreboard as well. Perhaps “I Am Yours” was too eccentric. The big gimmick is when singer Dodo lights the grand piano on fire midway through. Which could represent his burning passion. The song sounds like a 1970s rock ballad, similar to Elton John or Paul McCartney. The performance begins with a dark, shadowy stage. The verses are piano-driven, with a wistful and lonely atmosphere. The guitars and drums enter during the first chorus as the stage lights up. Said chorus has a rocking back-and-forth or fist-pounding rhythm, which conveys persistence. Dodo also changes to falsetto on the closing line. He gets scream-y towards the end too. In the song, Dodo says that if this person is willing to give him a second chance, he'll drop everything to be with them again. He's ready, willing, and able. The ball is in their court now. Each stanza also ends with the offer “anytime, any place, I’m yours”; as if it needs to be repeated. Otherwise, the “you're the one I belong to” hook is okay, and Dodo sounds sweet and committed. But this entry doesn't really stand out enough. The “oooooh” bridge is flat too. Greece: Maria Elena Kyriakou - One Last Breath Montenegro: Knez - Adio Germany: Ann Sophie - Black Smoke Germany started the 2010s with Lena and ended it with a bunch of bottom 2 placements. Including “nul points” this year. Although Ann Sophie didn't win the national final. That was Andreas Kümmert with “Heart of Stone” (he declined). Anyways, “Black Smoke” is a retro jazzy number filled with snapping percussion flicks, and a tickling piano riff. After the muffled intro, the instrumental stays pretty consistent. The drum rhythm is breezy for a break-up song. The bridge, meanwhile, is carried by the warm backing, followed by the song shying away and Ann releasing a big note. “Black Smoke” is about a relationship that should end. Ann notices her lover has changed. She tries to convince herself things are fine. But it's not worth forcing it. They can't even say the three words (“I love you”) anymore. The chorus surmises the situation by saying the “flame is running out” and all that's left is “black smoke”. It can't be rekindled. The lyrics are reasonable and the tone feels assured with her decision. Although the chorus sounds like a plea. The staging involves spotlights behind the singers and smoke puffs on screen. They also wear black outfits and Ann sings the first verse standing backwards for some reason. She has some sensual movements too. But the staging is kinda “meh” and the melody is so plain (“you said you'd never let me go”). Fun fact: Ella Eyre co-wrote this. Poland: Monika Kuszyńska - In the Name of Love Latvia: Aminata - Love Injected Romania: Voltaj - De la capăt Spain: Edurne - Amanecer Spain selects a... female ballad composed by Thomas G:son. But unlike 2012 and 2014, “Amanecer” fell short of the top 10. It probably suffered from ballad fatigue in the 2nd half. Still, the atmosphere is super melodramatic. The forlorn strings create an expansive soundscape. It's like a desolate desert or being consumed by sadness. The orchestra begins low-key and distressed. While the verse melody hangs on each line. The stage is a dark setting, featuring raindrops and water ripples on the floor. Edurne is concealed by a red cloak; sitting next to a passed out man. The drums and strings take over from the first chorus. And the drums punch hard from the second verse on like an unrelenting desire. Or endurance. Meanwhile, Edurne's long train flows in the wind. She also sheds a tear. Her train gets yanked off when the second chorus hits to reveal a sparkling white dress. She also holds her hands out (as if conjuring a spell) when singing the main hook. And there's an elaborate duo's dance routine during the instrumental break. The final chorus further adds thunderclaps. In the song, Edurne's lover left without knowing she loved them. And she feels very intense about wanting him to return. To “restore the dawn”. Overall, the staging is great, and the song is very atmospheric. But that “E-yeah E-YEAHHHH oh” hook, while instantly catchy, dominates things to the point of monotony. Hungary: Boggie - Wars for Nothing Georgia: Nina Sublatti - Warrior The infamous smoke machine malfunction. You can't even see her in the wide shots! Azerbaijan: Elnur Hüseynov - Hour of the Wolf Russia: Polina Gagarina - A Million Voices Albania: Elhaida Dani - I'm Alive The most underrated entry of 2015? Italy: Il Volo - Grande amore The song that held the televote record until 2022. If the juries had been more favourable towards Italy, they would've won. I didn't understand the massive hype 7 years ago, since classical opera has never been my thing. But the chorus is immensely powerful. It represents the “Great Love” you want to shout to the whole world. It's a glorious and overwhelming feeling. The song is about letting go of one's fears and reservations in confessing your feelings. The narrator has doubts; asking this person for reassurance that they'll never leave and only choose them. The build into the chorus is the biggest highlight though. The song begins more restrained. There's just a piano and a rising verse melody, set against a dark stage. The pre-chorus intensifies (the “Dimmi perché...” x3 bit) with the quick, jabbing percussion booms that approach and close in. While Piero unleashes an operatic vocal. The trio then yells “GRANDE AMORE” as the chorus explodes. The vocals bellow (“DIMMI CHE MAI”), as the drums steady the pace and the stage brightens up. It releases tension. The chorus ends with heavy strings. In the second pre-chorus, the trio rotates lines, with each one walking into the camera frame. Overall, II Volo are top class performers and vocalists. There's also Roman sculptures on screen. Fun fact: this song took 12 years to be picked up by any artist. The Winner: Sweden achieves their 6th victory; putting them one step away from Ireland's record. I imagine it's only a matter of time until they match or surpass it. “Heroes” is also the biggest winner of the 2010s, going by percentage of possible points. Although that's largely because of the juries. It had a 114-point lead(!!) over the runner-up in the jury vote (which was Latvia). Incidentally, this is the first time that the televote winner did not win the contest. The song redefines the term “hero” for the modern age (ie. “of our time”). Where we have personal “demons in our minds”, but we do our best. Which turns this into an anthem for the anti-heroes. Måns starts by explaining that he screwed up and he's avoiding punishment. That heroes are being eradicated. And he relays his father's advice about not dwelling on things. In the second verse, he says that modern heroes are greeted with crickets. That he inspires people (“I make worms turn into butterflies”). And he mentions his father's undying support. The song is an inspirational message directed to the listener. But the lyrics are so awkwardly phrased and trying too hard to sound deep. The “Sing it like a hummingbird” line doesn't make sense either, since I don't associate exclaiming an anthemic chorus with hummingbirds. Plus, Måns's words come off as self-important. The “What if I'm the only hero left” and the “butterflies” lines in particular. Like it's his duty to lead this message. The musicality is better than the lyrics though. The song was written by Joy Deb and Linnea Deb, who also composed “You” (Sweden 2013), “Monsters” (Finland 2018), “Adrenalina” (San Marino 2021) and “Voices” (Sweden 2021). It begins with a sawing guitar that's reminiscent of a Western film. It's been compared to David Guetta's “Lovers On The Sun” (which unofficially featured Avicii) – a huge hit in Europe the previous year. It signals an oncoming showdown; a scene of antiquated movie heroes. The first verse is also like a confession. The song then slowly builds into the chorus. Måns exclaims out loud with extended pauses, as the synths simmer below the surface. Soon enough, the drums escalate things, and the grinding synth swells leading to the drop. Finally, the main chorus envelops the arena. The second verse returns to the guitar, but this time the drums and the string pokes ease the pacing. While the second chorus jumps straight into the drop instead. Following this, there's a short (but effective) bridge. The backing repeats it underneath the final chorus to add an extra hook. The chorus sounds like a big anthem where the whole world could join in. And that “Hero-oh-ohs / oh-oh-ohs” hook is catchy. But... the way it stretches out one word makes it feel empty too. Otherwise, the staging is creative and innovative. It's a showcase of modern technology, where Måns interacts with a projection board as he “manipulates” the images. The stage is kept dark black for the illusion. He starts by siting on a bench. He then snaps his finger and a chalk outline kid appears. He slides over to make room on the bench, as the kid copies his movements. Following this, Måns conjures up a misty swirl that turns into a 3D rainfall effect. In the second verse, he motions that rainfall into a comet-like thing that he captures. He releases it; and it turns into butterfly wings behind him (matching the “butterfly” lyric). He then rotates the dots in a 3D motion during the “turn this world around” line. Afterwards, a school of chalk-outline kids appear on screen. They tilt in unison with Måns. He gives a fist-bump. And his heart glows red. The bridge also shows a chalk outline of Måns's face that morphs into his actual face. During the chorus, the stage lights flash in a frenzy, while he energetically bounces in the center. Måns brings insane charisma and star power to this performance. But it's to the point of self-indulgence with those smug smiles. Which is why I've never been able to love this entry. “Heroes” is not a bad winner at all - but it's not one I get that excited by. It's too calculated. It's not on the same level as “Euphoria” either. And the fact that Måns keeps reappearing at Eurovision year after year doesn't help. As for Melfest 2015, “Heroes” was very much a landslide winner there. The final also featured the first appearances of Jon Henrik Fjällgren and Mariette, who both placed top 3. Guilty pleasure icons Samir & Viktor also made their debut. Verdict: The very bottom of “B” Tier. My Ranking: Grand Final: 01. Latvia: Aminata - Love Injected 02. Estonia: Elina Born and Stig Rästa - Goodbye to Yesterday 03. Slovenia: Maraaya - Here for You 04. Belgium: Loïc Nottet - Rhythm Inside 05. Norway: Mørland and Debrah Scarlett - A Monster Like Me 06. Montenegro: Knez - Adio 07. Italy: Il Volo - Grande amore 08. Albania: Elhaida Dani - I'm Alive 09. Georgia: Nina Sublatti - Warrior 10. Australia: Guy Sebastian - Tonight Again 11. Serbia: Bojana Stamenov - Beauty Never Lies 12. Lithuania: Monika Linkytė and Vaidas Baumila - This Time 13. Azerbaijan: Elnur Hüseynov - Hour of the Wolf 14. Sweden: Måns Zelmerlöw - Heroes 15. Greece: Maria Elena Kyriakou - One Last Breath 16. Hungary: Boggie - Wars for Nothing 17. Spain: Edurne - Amanecer 18. Germany: Ann Sophie - Black Smoke 19. Israel: Nadav Guedj - Golden Boy 20. France: Lisa Angell - N'oubliez pas 21. Austria: The Makemakes - I Am Yours 22. Poland: Monika Kuszyńska - In the Name of Love 23. Romania: Voltaj - De la capăt 24. Cyprus: John Karayiannis - One Thing I Should Have Done 25. Armenia: Genealogy - Face the Shadow 26. United Kingdom: Electro Velvet - Still in Love with You Full Ranking: 01. Latvia: Aminata - Love Injected 02. Estonia: Elina Born and Stig Rästa - Goodbye to Yesterday 03. Slovenia: Maraaya - Here for You 04. Belgium: Loïc Nottet - Rhythm Inside 05. Norway: Mørland and Debrah Scarlett - A Monster Like Me 06. Montenegro: Knez - Adio 07. Italy: Il Volo - Grande amore 08. Albania: Elhaida Dani - I'm Alive 09. Georgia: Nina Sublatti - Warrior 10. Australia: Guy Sebastian - Tonight Again 11. Ireland: Molly Sterling - Playing with Numbers 12. Serbia: Bojana Stamenov - Beauty Never Lies 13. Lithuania: Monika Linkytė and Vaidas Baumila - This Time 14. Azerbaijan: Elnur Hüseynov - Hour of the Wolf 15. Sweden: Måns Zelmerlöw - Heroes 16. Greece: Maria Elena Kyriakou - One Last Breath 17. Hungary: Boggie - Wars for Nothing 18. Switzerland: Mélanie René - Time to Shine 19. Spain: Edurne - Amanecer 20. Moldova: Eduard Romanyuta - I Want Your Love 21. F.Y.R. Macedonia: Daniel Kajmakoski - Autumn Leaves 22. Germany: Ann Sophie - Black Smoke 23. Israel: Nadav Guedj - Golden Boy 24. Czech Republic: Marta Jandová and Václav Noid Bárta - Hope Never Dies 25. Belarus: Uzari and Maimuna - Time 26. Malta: Amber - Warrior 27. France: Lisa Angell - N'oubliez pas 28. Iceland: Maria Olafs - Unbroken 29. Austria: The Makemakes - I Am Yours 30. Portugal: Leonor Andrade - Há um mar que nos separa 31. Poland: Monika Kuszyńska - In the Name of Love 32. Romania: Voltaj - De la capăt 33. Cyprus: John Karayiannis - One Thing I Should Have Done 34. Denmark: Anti Social Media - The Way You Are 35. Netherlands: Trijntje Oosterhuis - Walk Along 36. Armenia: Genealogy - Face the Shadow 37. United Kingdom: Electro Velvet - Still in Love with You 38. Finland: Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät - Aina mun pitää 39. San Marino: Anita Simoncini and Michele Perniola - Chain of Lights “S” Tier: “Euphoria”, “Fairytale”, “My Number One” “A” Tier: “Every Way That I Can”, “Only Teardrops”, “Wild Dances”, “Rise Like a Phoenix”, “Hard Rock Hallelujah”, “Satellite” “B” Tier: “Molitva”, “Heroes” “C” Tier: “Fly On The Wings Of Love”, “I Wanna” “D” Tier: “Everybody”, “Believe”, “Running Scared” “F” Tier: none!

Another year, another banger of a Eurovision.

In a stunning upset, Sweden's Loreen beat out Finland's Käärijä to take the top spot at the Eurovision Song Contest. The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom is finally here and the wait was worth it—don't forget to tag or filter spoilers if you don't want to see the absolutely bonkers builds everyone is making. With only three episodes left, season three of Ted Lasso continues to deliver on its multiple emotional arcs. It was a surprising election night on Succession this week. Trigun Stampede trended after Twitter user Bigolas Dickolas Wolfwood inadvertently turned the 2019 novel This Is How You Lose the Time War into a bestseller. Finally, we got the Tony Hawk x Amaury Guichon collab we didn't know we needed. This is Tumblr's Week in Review.

The Eurovision Song Contest

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Ted Lasso

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

Succession

Trigun Stampede

Käärijä

Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story

Yellowjackets

Artists on Tumblr

The Owl House

Critical Role

Finland

Stranger Things

9-1-1

UK Politics

Dracula Daily

Taylor Swift

Tony Hawk

Batman | the DC universe

UMK 2024 Song Review - Sara Siipola

The hype is very real around Uuden Musiikin Kilpailu (UMK), the Finnish national selection for Eurovision and the race to Malmö continues with a ballad this time!

Sara Siippola - Paskana

Sara Siipola is fairly a new name in the sky of Finnish female artists. She kind of popped out of nowhere making a record deal with Sony Music in 2019 and releasing her first singles which were fairly successful. She also released her debut album "Kaunis Kun Itken" two years later and last year she was seen in popular music tv-show "Tähdet, Tähdet".

Still never heard of of her before and the artist announcement did nothing to me.

Paskana is power song that gives no hope. It's very raw lyrically and vocally.

It's a modern ballad with immediate hook. The song itself is not a traditional power ballad but does instrumentally push its boundaries. The electronic beat has 80's sound which also reminds many of the Russian girl duo t.A.T.u's sound. R'n'b beat separates it from an average ESC ballad and makes this super easy to listen.

Sara's voice can be compared to Amy Winehouse's being capable of interpreting the painful text brilliantly. The topic of being "paskana" which is translated as fucking wreck, is easily relatable. Social media quickly filled on Monday night with heartfelt comments from people around the world crying and feeling this song.

This is simply captivating - you can't pass this without stopping to listen to this and feeling what she sings. This will translate across language barriers.

ESC doesn't allow swearing so in case of winning UMK Sara would have to find another title for her song which might be a difficult task. There have been hopes of her translating this into English or pieces of it but I do hope this masterpiece remained in Finnish. Also this would differ quite a lot from our previous ESC entries. The last time we heard a female ballad from Finland was in 2017 with NormaJohn.

In a scenario where she didn't win UMK she might be the next Bess (Ram pam pam, 2022) or Kuumaa (Ylivoimainen, 2023) which either were the winning acts but made the biggest hits of their careers with the help of UMK. Reactions have been positive everywhere you go and her UMK videoclip has already been viewed over 240 000 (more than Sexmane) times. She's on her way to stardom!

What do you think of the third UMK24 track and would you vote for Sara Siipola to go all the way to Malmö? UMK final takes place on February 10th!

I’m sorry but some of ya’ll are acting like Loreen somehow got to hear all the other Melfest entries beforehand and then submitted Tattoo cackling evilly, ready to destroy her fellow contestants’ hopes and dreams. I understand not liking the song or preferring if someone else had won. But getting so aggressive over the woman herself, as if it was her fault that both the jury and the voters happened to prefer her song over the others? “But she knew she would win just because she’s Loreen!” Need I remind you that she participated in Mello back in 2017 with Statements and didn’t even get to the final with that song? As for the argument that it’s not “fair” to other contestants that haven’t gone to Eurovision before, national selections aren’t some children’s birthday party where everyone should get a chance to play with a toy. It’s a competition where people vote for the best song, and whether that song is by a complete newcomer or an artist that has participated 10 times shouldn’t matter. Love and hate whatever songs you want, but this childish entitled mentality over which artists “deserve” to represent more than others needs to stop.

A post about the Loreen thing,

which I'm making separately so that it isn't hidden under the cut when I do my yearly review.

First of all it is necessary to state that I don't hate Tattoo. I have it fifteenth for the year. I liked Euphoria and I like some of Loreen's other music. I am not jumping on the hater train because I hate Loreen or hate the song. She sounded good on the night and the staging was, as we expect of Sweden, showy and mostly visually interesting.

HOWEVER. I think that there are two reasons that people are angry right now and both of them are justified. Firstly, it's because of the way the voting system works currently and what narratives work well on a television show (which Eurovision, ultimately, is). Secondly, it's because some more discerning fans are picking up on some of the circumstances surrounding Loreen's participation and win and have gotten out their red string.

To point one: This is the first time since the split voting system was implemented in 2016 that the winner of the jury vote won the contest. We've previously had entries who won neither, but there was too big of a split between the jury and televote winner (2016, 2019), an entry who won both votes (2017), and entries who won the televote (2018, 2021, 2022). Eurovision has changed a lot since its inception and in some ways the juries are a holdover from when it was a song contest rather than a performance contest (they were also reintroduced to combat bloc voting and then just made the bloc voting worse so do with that what you will). These days, the people like to vote!!! The people also like an underdog, which we went into the contest knowing that Finland was--or at least, the only other contender with a fighting chance of beating Queen Loreen. So seeing Loreen absolutely sweep the jury vote, country by country, with a margin of over 100 points, got boring and frustrating real fast.

I'm not saying down with the juries necessarily. I'm a somewhat serious musician who often loves jury bait songs and the juries have played an important role in supporting the songs I really like. And sometimes, the tension between the jury vote and public vote is okay! Sometimes it's interesting and makes for good television! But last night was not, narratively, good television.

I mean, maybe it was for some people.

Which leads me to point two: the red string. Now, I am not usually a conspiracy theory person at Eurovision. I mean, my first Eurovision was 2016 and I remember how the Russia fans got about that. My second Eurovision was 2017 and I hated APD with a burning passion at the time and I didn't get out the red string then.

But this... I think a lot of more serious fans are looking at the big picture. So, when a country wins, they get to be on the reference group and participate in decision-making about contest rules and such. The last time Sweden won was 2015. This win put them at 6 total, one behind Ireland. Sweden has made being good at Eurovision part of their national identity. The split voting system was introduced the following year, at the 2016 contest, hosted by Sweden.

Fast forward to this year. Sweden have placed 5th three times, 4th once, and then 7th and 14th which are less interesting, in the years since. Objectively very good results. But this year, the contest final was due to take place on Johnny Logan's birthday (Johnny Logan being the first, at that time only, competitor in history to win twice). The fiftieth anniversary of Abba's win is next year. And Loreen decided to come back to Melodifestivalen.

Loreen had previously tried to return in 2017 with the song "Statements" but wiped out in Melfest's second chance round. So it wasn't necessarily guaranteed that she would sweep. However, many fans felt that this year's Melfest entries were really weak songs, which made it easier for "Tattoo", with its flashy staging and name recognition, to soar to a win. In a real monkey's paw moment, I said after watching Melfest that the only way I could accept Loreen winning Melfest was if she Johnny Logan'd. Lol.

Even before Melfest, though, there were also the new voting rules. For the first time this year, semifinal qualifiers would be decided only through televote, not based on the juries. As I noted last night, this meant that the televote would likely be split among many songs--we'd still have a televote winner, but if the jury coalesced behind one song, the jury winner would win the contest. This... happened.

It's also worth noting that the current executive supervisor of the contest is Swedish, and that even before the voting sequence there were references to Abba and Johnny Logan throughout the night. That, in addition to the weak Melfest, timing of both voting changes, and the timing of the contest, adds up to a conspiratorial picture, for those who are so inclined.

And, lastly, I also think some of us are having fun arguing with Loreen fans, especially those who are like "well, YOU voted for her, so you don't get to complain!" Reader, I did not vote for Loreen. I in fact voted for Finland, among others. Most of us who are complaining did not, in fact, vote for Loreen. And look I don't wanna be like last year's Spain fans who to this day say that Chanel was the true winner of the 2022 contest but it is pretty fun to be a hater.

At the end of the day, it is what it is and there isn't anything we can do to change it, but it's fun to be angry in the meantime, and I personally had fun assembling all the reasons why people are angry into a nice little tumblr post for you all. Thank you and goodnight <3

2023 Tumblr Top 10

1. 334 notes - May 10 2023

Let's sign Cha Cha Cha with Käärijä MIGUEL💜 on TikTok

2. 173 notes - Mar 14 2023

3. 159 notes - Apr 1 2023

Evolution of Conrad Veidt 🎬 Thanks @matthew-garth for suggesting the idea and music 🫰🏻 Such a miracle does exist on TikTok

4. 63 notes - May 8 2023

5. 60 notes - May 8 2023

6. 49 notes - Apr 27 2023

Sua vain yli kaiken mä rakastan 😭 Music: Vaasan kaupunginorkesteri 2nd violin trio "Romanssi" (2020) Such a miracle does exist...

7. 46 notes - Feb 11 2023

8. 44 notes - Aug 8 2023

9. 43 notes - Jun 9 2023

10. 42 notes - Oct 19 2023

Ancora 💋 Music: Mina ”Ancora ancora ancora (Mark Ronson Remix)” (2023)

Created by TumblrTop10

Review: Live From Arena Stožice

can you tell i’m on winter break and have nothing better to do?

1) Sunny Side of London

• What can I sayyyyy! we’ve had this live version out for a while now and it’s probably the only JO song that I 100% prefer live. It’s MADE for a live performance, for an audience that will have fun with it and participate. Great opening choice too! 9/10

2) Gola

• Felt much more energetic than the studio version! Gola isn’t my fave but I definitely like it more now that we have this live version! 8/10

3) Bele Sanje

• I think the best part about Bele Sanje are the little nuanced things like the “lalalala” and some of the electronics which I can’t really hear in the live version BUT I can’t complain….I loved it, especially the extended guitar part at the end (which im assuming is Jan lol) and the boys going absolutely CRAZY on backing vocals!

4) Plastika

• THE TRANSITION FROM BELE SANJE TO THIS?!?! HELLO?!?? MY SOUL ASCENDED!!! I can hear all of the electronics and all of the energy! I love that you can obviously tell that Plastika is a fan favorite! Bojan’s emotion in this live version (especially on “ne morem se odločit al se jočem al smejim) just took it to the next level imo. 10/10

5) Proti Toku

•Not much to say about it, I think it’s definitely more fun than the studio version but it just seems quiet to me??? idk?? 8/10 tho, it’s still a banger

6) Dopamin

• THIS!!!! I LOVE LOVE LOOOOOOOOVE THIS!!! I see clips of Dopamine on tiktok or something and it sounds more aggressive than in the studio, and im SOOOOO glad it sounds that way here! It’s such a cute, happy song but it’s so…HARD! Guitars were going CRAAAAAAAAZY, but we could still hear some of the little electronic bits. Byfar some of the best sounds of the album. 20/10

7) Padam

• I cry, I cry every time. Love the audience in this one and Bojan’s voice?!?? angelic. 9/10

8) Demoni

• WE FINALLY HAVE THE DEMONI SCREAM ON STREAMING PLATFORMS! The ONLY thing I think you have been better was just volume, i don’t feel the impact as much in this song as i do in some of the others (which is not the case for the studio albums). Loved how they kind of slightly played around instrumentally with the beginning and the end. All my homies love Demoni. 10/10

9) Katrina

• Ok so…..Katrina is by far my favorite Joker Out song so by default, I think this version is great. There was a lot more tension this go around which, in my mind, fits nicely with the lyrics. HOWEVER…… I think I hyped this up too much in my mind. It was still very very VERY good (and the sheer quality of Jan’s solo was just impeccable, which is what I was hoping for), just missing something that I can’t really put my finger on. 10/10 tho, stream Katrina for clear skin.

10) A sem ti povedal

Ok ok ok hear me out . I am an A sem ti povedal binge streamer, the studio version is what I think musical perfection is. Every time i see a live performance of it, it’s always tweaked in some way, which hurts my little studio-loving heart. I’m not gonna lie and say the trumpet solo was bad or anything, in fact I thought it was quite beautiful, but I don’t think it should have taken the place of the heart-melting intro in the studio version. HOWEVER, I got over that pretty quickly, with the acapella introduction and the buildup into the A-MA-ZING bridge. Personally I think Bojan’s little changes to how sings this one really made a difference, especially since they went ahead and changed like….most of the song anyways. Still, i was transported to another dimension with this one even though I am still a pretty strict A sem ti povedal purist. 9/10

11) Omamljeno telo

Fun, Fun, Fun! One of my favorite JO songs! It almost felt too short! 9/10

12) Kot Srce, Ki Kri Poganja

Martin girlies WYA?!?! EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS WAS PERFECT! from ACTUALLY performing Kot Scre, to releasing it in the album, to the evergy, and ESPECIALLY to having Matic and Martin, who absolutely ATE THIS UP!!! Did anyone else become a Kot Srce, Ki Kri Poganja girlie after this? because I certainly did! 15/10

13) Metulji

• Upon seeing a 6 minute version of Metulji i was very excited. Figuring out that most of it was straight up guitar was definitely something that grew on me after a few listens. One of my favorite things about the studio version of this song is just HOW Bojan sings (it just scratches my brain) and it still does that in this album, and it’s even MORE emotional! Instrumentally, I LOOOOOVED the little tiny changes they made, it really was so beautiful, and also tense, and a little scary! it’s crazy what you can do with sounds. 10/10

14) Vse Kar Vem

•ALSKDSKDKFJ I LOVE THIS SONG!!!! I dont speak Slovene but I FELT EVERY SINGLE WORD!!! Ofc knowing the lyrics helps, and all of that just made me …FEEL! I WAS FEELING FEELINGS! I could feel the audience feeling feelings!!!! What I don’t see talked about enough is how Jure SLAYED that drum break like LORD HAVE MERCYYYYY. 10/10

15) Barve Oceana

• BRAVE Oceana absolutely killed me…but speaking of Jure absolutely eating the girlies up, the drum break in this was just PERFECT. Also I loooooved being able to hear Nace during the first few verses, I never realized the bass part was so fun! AND THE BACKING VOCALS? THE AAAAAAAA’s? PERFECTION! 10/10

mr. maček i love you

16) Ngvot

• KRIS GUŠTIN YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS! ALWAYS! We all knew he could throw down with the songwriting, and it’s just so nice to be able to hear him sing it too! Ngvot is a classic, nothing much to say about this live version! 8.5/10

17) Vem Da Greš

• also another OP fave here and another beautiful transition into this from Ngvot! Also not too much to say about this one other than I felt it wasn’t as impactful as the studio version, like the buildups were just for nothing because the actual hits were lacking power. Also the faint children’s choir-esque sound was throwing me off? I heard it it Metulji too and idk what it is! 8/10

18) Ne Bi Smel

• part 3 of Jure absolutely killing it. Now THIS was powerful! So much energy, especially compared to the already super-fast studio version. Bojan’s voice was definitely one of the highlights (it is in every song, but especially here!)!

19) Ona

• to be honest, i’m not rocking with this jazz band version of it. The sultry sax intro was a great addition, setting up the plot of the song and everything, but this big brass thing throughout the song was not it for me. I think what I love about the studio version is the angry electronic things we hear, and we do hear it here, but it’s almost cancelled out by the brass? idk man, it’s a song about crying your eyes out every night because of a girl and it just wasn’t feeling like that! 7/10, I still love Ona

20) Tokio

• The audience did their part in this one! Another great one, I have no complaints. 10/19

21) Umazane Misli

• God i love this one! I think this had the perfect amount of experimentation in it for the song to sound like itself while also feeling fresh. Personally i would have preferred if there were no mics or instruments on during the part with the girl’s voice and just had the whole audience sing the whole thing, but that’s just a stylistic, nitpicky thing lmao. 9.5/10

22) Novi Val

• I cried, i’m still crying. 15/10

23) Carpe Diem

• Carpe Diem NEVER fails! This was the absolute best song to close out with in EVERY way! It’s fun with a sappy ending that wraps up the album and the show perfectly. I would have sold all of my limbs to be there during that. 20/10

So me my mum and my dad got distracted and watched a bunch of reactions to cha cha cha. It was cool to watch most of them get into it and enjoy it like we did when we first found it.

But then there was this one old rock DJ who completely missed the point. He spent most of the song looking confused as all hell and he even got a pen out and started taking notes?? Then after that he kept going on about his experience in the music industry and how this song reminded him of this one he was working on a few weeks ago and then spent half a minute promoting that song. Then he kept going on about how eurovision was a pop music competition so he would be reviewing it with that in mind.

Helena Paparizou in 2023

EUROVISON SEMI FINALS PT.2:

SPAIN 5/10:

strong start ngl

bb them boots slay the house down

pandering to me (i <3 red)

fun lil dancy dance :)

5/10

ARMENIA 3/10:

straight people? at eurovison?? ew.

she works hard, smoke machine works harder

ngl bored me

3/10

DENMARK 3/10:

there so many twinks this year wtf

its giving charlie from heartstopper

mid tier pop song

3/10

ESTONIA 2/10:

hehehoho magic piano :P

first ballad of the night

u bore me

2/10

CYPRUS 2/10:

yass howl for be bb

!!MUSTACHE ALERT!!

get wet, coward 💦

mid at best tho

2/10

ROMANIA 4/10:

GUITAR PENIS YEEEEEEAAAAAAH !!!!

get ur knees out, slut

loving the smocks

bbgorl has a growl i like it

!YES!CHEST!OUT!

oil him up ;)

song was. decent

4/10

GREECE 1/10

okay twink steve irwin, sing for me

no his vibes rancid actually

the beige, straight, version of romania

greece bb step up ur game u always dissapoint me

1/10

SLOVENIA 6/10:

okay discount harry styles

ooh song is fun would have done great in 2014

DONT LICK THE CAMERA

if u cloned harry styles X5 and it got worse each time youd get this act

not bad

not winners

6/10

SAN MARINO 6/10:

bbgorl went SO hard with stripper last year what do u have for me

HELLO GLITTER DILF

does not even come close to last year but. not bad

fun song + good vocals

6/10

BELGIUM 6/10:

ngl not off to a great start bestie what is that hat ????

i take back my slander, slay

funky + dancable

could go harder

catchy tho

YES VOGUE <3

6/10

ICELAND 7/10:

oh god please dont be bad

!!!LETS GO LESBIANS!!!

did she just do a flip

empowering :)

love her vibes

damn she put her whole pussy into that

7/10

ALBANIA 8/10:

ALBANIA BROUGHT THE DRAMA

oh that outfit slays

theyre having a wonderful time :)

this song goes hard

adore the strings mixed with electric guitar

!!FIRE!!

8/10

UK 3/10:

its ….okay

chorus could have gone way harder

visuals are fun i guess

eurovison has me so unpatriotic

(not that im otherwise patriot fuck facist terf island)

mid as usual, mid as expected

did she just meow? slay.

3/10

AUSTRALIA 8/10:

interesting start

!!!!SHOULDERPADALERT!!!!

'stralia getting heavy with it <3

yes flirt with the camera

wish they would have screamed more

the guitarist is slaying it

WAIT OH MY GOD THEYVE GOT A KEYTAR

8/10 (mostly bc keytar)

UKRAINE 5/10:

phantom of the opera vibes?

okay no

wait kinda? hear me out

oh he looks so slay tho

sexy robot :)

solidly good song 💛

but not stand out for me

5/10

GEORGIA 7/10:

sprinting start babes goddamn

drums go hard

background is giving human centipede poster vibes …. why is this a running theme this year

ooh this is fuuun tho

7/10

POLAND 0/10:

nepo baby cheat

jann was fucking robbed

where is twink supreme ??? :(

"what goes around comes around"? sure fucking hope it does >:(

0/10 nul points

AUSTRIA 9/10:

i.fucking.love.this.

THIS IS SO CAMP

edgar slayllan poe✨

outfits? slay.

visuals? slay.

go austria giving us the most random shit i love it

now THIS is eurovision

they got silly with it :3

9/10

LITHUANIA 3/10:

please no dont end with a fucking ballad

mm still boring for eurovison

like its not a bad song but. mid

was that it???

3/10

best: Austria

worst: Poland

blanllad count: ugh

who made it thru:

Albania 🔥

Cyprus :/

Estonia

Belgium

Austria :3

Lithuania

Poland >:(

Australia :)

Armenia

Slovenia <3

final thoughts:

semi bc thats as hard as most of these songs went

JANN WAS ROBBED!!! ROBBEDDD!!!!!!

like fr why was this round so mid????

frothing at the mouth for the final >:)

Howdy! I've returned to writing blogposts where I attempt at analysing shit just because I love when others do it, so why can't I have a go.

In this one you will find out my opinion on what's the fuss about the "(nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi" Eesti Laul performances, and do we need to write the song off as a definite Eesti Laul winner. I'm no Boris Bubbles, but I tried.

Happy reading!

Stockholm 2016 – Grand Final

Host: Sweden Slogan: “Come Together” Participants: 42 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host Winner: Jamala - 1944 Country: Ukraine Points: 534 (54.3% of highest score possible) Language: English, Crimean Tatar General Overview: 2016 is usually regarded as the best Eurovision contest ever. I'd probably rate the 2012 songs slightly higher, but the hosting is outstanding. It's Swedish humour at its finest and the jokes don't feel forced. It's a 4-hour show, so we need entertaining filler segments. The presenters are, of course, Petra Mede (who also hosted 2013) and last year's winner Måns Zelmerlöw. They play off each other well. The Grand Final opening sequence isn't bloated like 2015 was. It starts with the artists preparing back stage. Then the Parade of Nations happens immediately, while a medley of Swedish House Mafia and Avicii songs are played. And that's it. We go straight to the host introductions after. The postcards begin and end with the dandelion logo. In between, the artists partake in various activities, as per usual. While the camera slowly zooms in on them as they pose looking serious. The country names are in a big, luminous white font. And then the camera looks down from the arena ceiling before each performance starts; alongside a whoosh/slam sound. The stage floor is shaped like the top half of a cross, featuring another platform in the audience. There's an entrance in the back that splits the LED screens into two piles of slanted, overlapping, horizontal ones on either side. The Green Room is in the audience as well. The interval is bloated though. First, there's a cool montage celebrating Swedish music from over the decades; including all 6 of their Eurovision winners. This country knows how to craft a catchy melody. Next, Justin Timberlake performs “Rocky Your Body” and “Can't Stop The Feeling!” But it feels weird to see a well-known American singer in Eurovision. It's never happened before (unless you count Celine Dion). At least the latter song was produced by Swedes (Max Martin and Shellback). But I'd rather see a Swedish artist perform. After that, we see a young Destiny Chukunyere as the most recent JESC winner. She will represent Malta in the adult version in 2020/21. Then it's the main event: “Love Love Peace Peace”! Where Petra and Måns disclose the formula to winning Eurovision. It includes several references to past entries, including a cameo from Alexander Rybak. It's a funny parody for sure. But that's not all! Lynda Woodruff returns from 2013 to mispronounce things again. The mockumentary from the semi-finals continues, showing how Sweden is obsessed with ESC. And Måns performs AGAIN. He sings “Fire in the Rain”, where they all roam on hoverboards, and a reprise of “Heroes” (with regular production this time). By this point I'm ready for the results.

2016 introduced a major change to the scoring: the jury and televote points are now calculated separately instead of combined. Which doubles the amount of available points. Sweden copied this format from Melodifestivalen. The new system generally favours countries that have imbalanced results in the two metrics. Previously, ranking 1st and 26th (which has happened) would net 0 points, but now that equates to 12 points. Which means everything is more spread out. Although the televote tends to be top-heavy. The biggest issue though, is how the EBU creates a fake score if a country can't produce a valid jury or televote. But it's all worth it for the increased suspense. I hated how they kept announcing the winners early in 2013-15. The finality feeling during the satellite calls is gone now. So how it works is: the spokespersons provide the jury result first, then the hosts reveal the televote afterwards. To reduce time, only the 12 points are said (instead of 8/10/12 previously). But it's clear that the EBU were new to this, since the hosts read off the #26-#11 televote points way too quickly. They also go in order of lowest to highest televote scores, when starting with the lowest jury vote is better. The progress bar during the jury scoring moves in the wrong direction too. Ultimately, Australia ran away with the jury vote, but the public preferred Ukraine. Otherwise, only THREE songs this year don't have any English lyrics at all. Belgium: Laura Tesoro - What's the Pressure The EBU sure loves to open the Grand Final with the SF2 closer. In fact, they're about to do it 3 years in a row. Czech Republic: Gabriela Gunčíková - I Stand They did this so dirty by putting it 2nd in the running order. 0 televote points?! Netherlands: Douwe Bob - Slow Down Azerbaijan: Samra - Miracle Hungary: Freddie - Pioneer Italy: Francesca Michielin - No Degree of Separation As of 2022, this and “La Mia Città” are the only Italian entries to miss the top 10 after their return. I blame the props. The staging looks tacky and the ripply visual effects are distracting. It goes for a garden paradise aesthetic, where Francesca stands next to a bunch of balloons and flowers... and 3D glasses. While the LED screen shows a tree and the floor resembles a pond. She also randomly grabs a fruit at the end. As for the song, it plays with the “6 degrees of separation” idea, by saying there's “0 degrees of separation” between Francesca and her lover. In other words, there's nothing standing between them. She explains how she was closed off, distant and cautious; how her mind overruled her heart. But she changed when she found love and didn't push it away. The instrumental starts minimal, where it sort of quivers and taps. The song's mood is like she's looking forward to her new life. The pre-chorus then swells up, as the percussion plops like raindrops, before the chorus fills the surroundings. The latter pushes in this choppy pattern like waves. The drums remain for the second verse, where her tone sounds like she's finished with her old self. She also switches to English for the second chorus. It's a nice melody, but the song isn't interesting enough to me. Side note: Stadio won Sanremo this year, but they declined, so the runner-up was selected instead. Israel: Hovi Star - Made of Stars Yeah, this is kinda boring. Bulgaria: Poli Genova - If Love Was a Crime Sweden: Frans - If I Were Sorry Sweden brings tropical house to Eurovision; which was a ubiquitous trend at the time thanks to artists like Kygo. The genre is based on establishing a chill mood. But “If I Were Sorry” is a watered down version of it. The song incorporates a series of minimal sounds, like holding bass notes, finger snaps, cracking echos, and tambourine bells. There's a lazy guitar that runs through it too. Meanwhile, the first pre-chorus and bridge break the energy, so the chorus can bring it back. The instrumental takes focus before the last chorus. And the song title is repeated frequently to maximize the hook-iness. Frans hesitates on the words “dance” and “enough” as well. But the song is kinda bland. What's worse is how Frans sings this with such a defensive and “holier than thou” attitude. He lists a bunch of extreme feats he'd do if he were sorry. He'd even do them again. But, as he states in the final line, he's not sorry. So he's saying this to prove a point: that he's a stand-up guy and his ex is at fault. The bridge turns spiteful too, where he calls out his ex's mistakes and lies. This bitterness turns me off. The chill production implies a celebratory and satisfied vibe as well, in the aftermath of this break-up. The staging is simple. Frans stands in front of an array of yellow lights that sometimes spell outs words. He also wears a smug smile and dances a little bit. This is the worst Swedish entry of the 2010s. This was the first Melfest final I watched live. Robin Bengtsson and Molly Sandén brought some bad pun titles, while Samir & Viktor's got shirtless. The runner-up, Oscar Zia's “Human”, would've made a better winner. Although my fave was Lisa Ajax's “My Heart Wants Me Dead”. Germany: Jamie-Lee - Ghost Another last place for Germany. Was it because of her outfit? The melody doesn't really go anywhere either. Sure, the “tell me who's scared now!” chorus hook leaps out. The backing highlights the “We don't need a lifetime...” part. And there's a “can we get an alternate ending” post-chorus. But these pieces don't do enough. The arrangement feels flat. Once the dense, ground-shaking, “boom-clap” drums take over, the instrumental remains stagnant. It only holds off for the transitions; like the synths before the chorus. The production is unfortunately similar to “Sound of Silence” as well. That said, the first verse establishes an eerie woods atmosphere. Then the pre-chorus adds some snaps and a ticking clock. There's an ominous, wispy wind throughout the song. In the lyrics, Jamie-Lee wants to start fresh with her ex; for them to rewrite their story and have an alternate ending. She feels there's no reason to wait. But the whole “this is the ghost of you / haunting the ghost of me” wording seems clunky. The performance begins with her standing as a silhouette against a full moon. While the stage incorporates a bunch of trees that beam green lasers for some reason. She also seems shy. Fun fact: this was actually Jamie-Lee's winner's single on The Voice in late 2015. France: Amir - J'ai cherché After four consecutive bottom 5 placements, France is back in the top 10! For the first time since 2009 too. No wonder, since that “YOU OU OU OU OU” hook that dominates the song is super catchy. Plus Amir brings an infectious smile, confidence, and personable stage presence. In the song, he reflects on his journey of looking for a meaning to life; through his trials and tribulations, failed relationships and drinking. He eventfully found it with his current lover. And he compares this arduous search to the difficulties of finding a perfect melody. In the bridge, he says that you won't find love if you give up. Musically, the song channels the pop-folk trend of the time. The verses follow an acoustic guitar, alongside sporadic, impatient piano slams. Then the pre-chorus introduces the clacking/clapping rhythm that rapidly bounces and bobs up-and-down. Which continues into the chorus, where the strings relax the tension. It's an energetic and excitable chorus. The second verse adds some tapping. While the second chorus drops down for a moment. Otherwise, the verses are in French and the chorus is in English. And the staging is simplistic. Amir performs alone, while celestial objects fly past on the screens. The floor also shows a galaxy of stars zooming beneath him at one point, and a moon later on. France is on the right track with this, but it's still missing something. Poland: Michał Szpak - Color of Your Life Australia: Dami Im - Sound of Silence The very last spot of the 1st half both times lol. Cyprus: Minus One - Alter Ego Serbia: Sanja Vučić ZAA - Goodbye (Shelter) Lithuania: Donny Montell - I've Been Waiting for This Night Croatia: Nina Kraljić - Lighthouse Yeah, this is kinda annoying. Russia: Sergey Lazarev - You Are the Only One Spain: Barei - Say Yay! Robbed. The “death drop” works much better here than the awkward silence in “Slow Down”. That's when Barei collapses as the music and lights turn off, then she breathes and gets back up. The next verse says to keep going in life even when it knocks you down, so it fits the message. The song is basically a pep talk. Barei wears a silver sports jersey. She greets us with a “hello hello”. She says the future is long and uncertain, so live for today. And she resists the urge to run away through the repetition of “running, running, running”. She also runs on the spot. The song opens with an intense piano note as the camera flies in. The first verse sticks to that serious piano, as Barei raises her voice. Then there's an extended build-up across two pre-choruses. She pumps herself up in the first one, and pumps us up in the second. The former is the “I FEEL ALIVE” + backing responses + finger snapping part. While the latter sees the piano jump out of its seat, eager to dance. And it's further elevated by disco strings. The song peaks in the dance breakdown that follows, featuring some “HURRAY” and “SAY YAY YAY YAY” shouts, as Barei shakes her knees. The second verse then uses lively piano and drums. And there's a mirrored split screen at the end. It's an energizing, dance-able, hook-filled song. It uses an effective escalation. And Barei gives a empathetic and caring tone. She wants us to be happy. My one complaint is that this is the only Spanish entry to not have any Spanish lyrics. Latvia: Justs - Heartbeat Back in 2016, this was the song that grew on me the most after the Grand Final. Ukraine: Jamala - 1944 (winner review below) Malta: Ira Losco - Walk on Water Georgia: Nika Kocharov and Young Georgian Lolitaz - Midnight Gold Austria: Zoë - Loin d'ici United Kingdom: Joe and Jake - You're Not Alone Another flop for the UK. Although I'm glad they steered away from internal selections this time. So Joe and Jake competed on the same season of The Voice UK and became a duo afterwards. The song sounds like something from One Direction's earlier albums. In the song, the duo offers themselves up as an ideal boyfriend, because this person makes them come alive. Which sounds selfish but there's an endearing quality to this. They say it in a way that sounds sweet and well-intentioned. They promise to be there for this person. To make them feel less alone. Meanwhile, the LED screen shows an array of faces to exemplifying a message of togetherness. Those faces jump along to the beat towards the end too. The song opens with some piano pings, but the instrumental is mainly pop-rock, with guitars and staggering drums. Those drums pull back during the first chorus, and return midway through it. While the bridge offers a soft moment. The composition and lyricism seems amateur though. And the “Know oh uh oh” and “I, I, I” hooks feel deliberately shoehorned in. But the duo's friendly stage presence and smiles make it better. The staging lighting is decent too. Armenia: Iveta Mukuchyan - LoveWave This doesn't really work as a closer. The Winner: Ukraine achieves their second victory, with a gap of just 23 points. Which is the closest top 2 since... Ukraine won the first time in 2004. Furthermore, “1944” is the first winner since “Molitva” in 2007 to include lyrics that aren't in English, albeit partially. So it's nice to see the recent trend of landslides and 100% English language champions be broken here. This felt like an underdog victory too. Ukraine were #3 in the final odds, and lower before that. They didn't win the jury or the televote... or the semi-final for that matter. But they still found a way to the top. Apparently Australia would've won under the 2013-2015 rules too. I didn't see it coming at the time either but I was pleasantly surprised when it happened. The song is about the 1944 deportation and genocide of the Crimean Tatars under the Stalin regime during WWII. It was inspired by Jamala's great-grandmother. There's probably a subtext of how the Russian occupation of 2014 brought back this trauma too. And it's only become more poignant in 2022. The opening verse sets the scene: imagine strangers invading your house, killing those you love, and then claiming they're justified in doing so. It sounds horrifying. Jamala, meanwhile, looks terrified to walk forward on stage and on the verge of tears. But she's being courageous at the same time. She doesn't beat around the bush with this – she confronts the injustice directly, using phrases like: “but everyone dies”. She also holds rosary beads during the performance; praying for this to end. The chorus is the section of the song not in English. It's from a Crimean Tatar folk song, about how she couldn't spend her youth there because the land was taken away. She repeats the same two lines in a self-meditative way. Or like an echo across the peninsula. Jamala sways around when she sings it too. In the second verse, she sounds more outraged, as she yearns for a free future. While the second “but everyone dies” line is said with derision, as the backing reinforces it. Jamala gives a very emotionally real performance here. She embodies exactly what this type of suffering feels like. It all reaches a breaking point just before the final chorus; which is the best part of this song – it's where Jamala looks up to heaven and lets out a scream that sends shivers down my spine, as a tree made of fire sprouts from her feet and onto the screen behind her. She lets out another shriek at the end too. The staging is perfect. “1944” doesn't need anything extravagant. The dark setting, the water cube at the start, the emanating fire patterns, the red cracks and flickering light beams in the second verse, and the aforementioned fire tree are enough. Musically, the song is dark and ominous. It opens with the traditional duduk instrument. After that, there's distressing, radiating bass notes, wooden clacking, and this scratching shaker sound. While the main percussion rhythm starts in the first chorus. There's a whimper after “our time”. The chorus includes faint wobbles. And the beat pauses before the big scream, allowing the pain to overwhelm her in solitude. While the final chorus is elevated by orchestral strings. It's a unique and intriguing production that captures the plight of the Crimean Tatars. It has a bleak atmosphere, but still shows signs of life. It paints the image of a displaced, homeless group of people crowded together. Verdict: “A” Tier. It's underrated, even by me at times. My Ranking: Grand Final: 01. Bulgaria: Poli Genova - If Love Was a Crime 02. Ukraine: Jamala - 1944 03. Armenia: Iveta Mukuchyan - LoveWave 04. Czech Republic: Gabriela Gunčíková - I Stand 05. Latvia: Justs - Heartbeat 06. Spain: Barei - Say Yay! 07. Belgium: Laura Tesoro - What's the Pressure 08. Serbia: Sanja Vučić ZAA - Goodbye (Shelter) 09. Australia: Dami Im - Sound of Silence 10. Austria: Zoë - Loin d'ici 11. Hungary: Freddie - Pioneer 12. Lithuania: Donny Montell - I've Been Waiting for This Night 13. Russia: Sergey Lazarev - You Are the Only One 14. France: Amir - J'ai cherché 15. Cyprus: Minus One - Alter Ego 16. Malta: Ira Losco - Walk on Water 17. Netherlands: Douwe Bob - Slow Down 18. United Kingdom: Joe and Jake - You're Not Alone 19. Israel: Hovi Star - Made of Stars 20. Azerbaijan: Samra - Miracle 21. Italy: Francesca Michielin - No Degree of Separation 22. Germany: Jamie-Lee - Ghost 23. Croatia: Nina Kraljić - Lighthouse 24. Georgia: Nika Kocharov and Young Georgian Lolitaz - Midnight Gold 25. Sweden: Frans - If I Were Sorry 26. Poland: Michał Szpak - Color of Your Life Full Ranking: 01. Bulgaria: Poli Genova - If Love Was a Crime 02. Ukraine: Jamala - 1944 03. Iceland: Greta Salóme - Hear Them Calling 04. Armenia: Iveta Mukuchyan - LoveWave 05. Czech Republic: Gabriela Gunčíková - I Stand 06. Latvia: Justs - Heartbeat 07. Spain: Barei - Say Yay! 08. Belgium: Laura Tesoro - What's the Pressure 09. Serbia: Sanja Vučić ZAA - Goodbye (Shelter) 10. Australia: Dami Im - Sound of Silence 11. Austria: Zoë - Loin d'ici 12. Hungary: Freddie - Pioneer 13. Lithuania: Donny Montell - I've Been Waiting for This Night 14. Russia: Sergey Lazarev - You Are the Only One 15. Bosnia & Herzegovina: Dalal and Deen feat. Ana Rucner and Jala - Ljubav je 16. France: Amir - J'ai cherché 17. Cyprus: Minus One - Alter Ego 18. Estonia: Jüri Pootsmann - Play 19. Albania: Eneda Tarifa - Fairytale 20. Malta: Ira Losco - Walk on Water 21. Belarus: Ivan - Help You Fly 22. Netherlands: Douwe Bob - Slow Down 23. Norway: Agnete - Icebreaker 24. Finland: Sandhja - Sing It Away 25. United Kingdom: Joe and Jake - You're Not Alone 26. Israel: Hovi Star - Made of Stars 27. Azerbaijan: Samra - Miracle 28. Italy: Francesca Michielin - No Degree of Separation 29. Moldova: Lidia Isac - Falling Stars 30. Germany: Jamie-Lee - Ghost 31. Slovenia: ManuElla - Blue and Red 32. F.Y.R. Macedonia: Kaliopi - Dona 33. Denmark: Lighthouse X - Soldiers of Love 34. Croatia: Nina Kraljić - Lighthouse 35. Georgia: Nika Kocharov and Young Georgian Lolitaz - Midnight Gold 36. Sweden: Frans - If I Were Sorry 37. Ireland: Nicky Byrne - Sunlight 38. Greece: Argo - Utopian Land 39. Poland: Michał Szpak - Color of Your Life 40. San Marino: Serhat - I Didn't Know 41. Switzerland: Rykka - The Last of Our Kind 42. Montenegro: Highway - The Real Thing “S” Tier: “Euphoria”, “Fairytale”, “My Number One” “A” Tier: “Every Way That I Can”, “Only Teardrops”, “Wild Dances”, “Rise Like a Phoenix”, “1944”, “Hard Rock Hallelujah”, “Satellite” “B” Tier: “Molitva”, “Heroes” “C” Tier: “Fly On The Wings Of Love”, “I Wanna” “D” Tier: “Everybody”, “Believe”, “Running Scared” “F” Tier: none!

Being green is hot.

It was another rollercoaster of a year for the Eurovision Song Contest, with a snub for Latvia and an outpouring of support for the winner, Ukraine. My Chemical Romance dropped their first new song since 2014, “The Foundations of Decay”, and it’s a banger. The explosive finale of Amphibia’s third season aired and fans still aren’t okay. Also not okay are KinnPorsche fans—the most recent episode was a doozy. In case you need something to do until your best friend Jonathan Harker emails you again, be sure to check out our interview with Dracula Daily creator Matt Kirkland. This is Tumblr’s Week in Review.

The Eurovision Song Contest

Dracula Daily

The Owl House

My Chemical Romance

Amphibia

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The TV series

Our Flag Means Death

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

Jonathan Harker | Dracula

Moon Knight

Annabeth Chase | Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The TV series

Wanda Maximoff | Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

SPY x FAMILY

Artists on Tumblr

Cottagecore

Steven Grant | Moon Knight

Pokémon

Critical Role

KinnPorsche

Marc Spector | Moon Knight

UMK 2024 Song Review - Sexmane

The hype is very real around Uuden Musiikin Kilpailu (UMK), the Finnish national selection for Eurovision and the race to Malmö continues!

Sexmane - MANIA

Max Scene aka Sexmane is currently the most streamed artist in Finland and also he has a connection to UMK. His little brother Isaac Scene competed in 2022 with Kuuma Jäbä.

Since releasing his debut album Sextape in 2019 he has been Emma awarded (Finnish Grammys) and he's managed to beat his previous successes with each release. He will no doubt have a lot of loyal young voters out there!

As a background info he and his brother grew up in a religious community where hymns were in and commercial music was not. He mentions this fairly often in the interviews so I believe it had an impact on his creativity and that he even ended up in the music industry.

MANIA is a song about mental health. "It's ok not to be ok" he says.

The song slaps you right at the face with MANIA. There's a lot of autotune in here from the very beginning and many have questioned if he can pull this through live. This is no basic pop tune you can put into a box within a certain genre. This is a hip hop / rap song with a heavy rock push. Music experts can peal this like an onion because it has plenty of layers to go around for all.

The song goes on smoothly having a strong pre-chorus and the anthemic MANIA is catchy and difficult to forget. I'm not a fan of rap music but I do enjoy listening to this even though my very first reaction was fear. The guitar solo at the end of the song is impressive and much needed add. The song ends with a scream.

Musically there's a strong pull towards our last ESC entry and a lot of people are criticizing of sending MANIA right after Cha Cha Cha (can anything be better?). In contrast to Käärijä's drinking party hit, there's some real pain and seriousness here. The beat is pushy and urges you to rush to act. And him desperately screaming in his pain and getting it out of his space - we see a lot of symbolism in the videoclip.

I kind of play with the idea of this winning because of the orange theme. In 2022 we had The Rasmus with Jezebel having a yellow staging, Käärijä last year obviously with his green effect, this would be a great continuity with the orange look.

What do you think of the second UMK24 track and would you vote for Sexmane to go all the way to Malmö? UMK final takes place on February 10th!