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gyutopia · 2 months

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overpass graffiti | sim jaeyun

ꕤ DESCRIPTION: “they say we fall in love three times in our lifetime: our first love is the one that breaks us, leaves us hopeless and lost, this then brings us to our second love, the one which picks up the broken pieces of our heart and mends it back together; heals us from the heartache the first left and lastly, our third and final love⏤the love that’s supposed to last. for you, your best friend sim jaeyun happens to be two out of three.”

ꕤPAIRING: best friend!jake x f!reade & second lead!jungwon

ꕤGENRE(S): slice of life!au, soulmate(?)!au

ꕤWORD COUNT: 23.9k

ꕤWARNING(S): loss of virginity, soft dom!jake, sub!reader, oral (f!receiving), p in v intercourse, no protection, drugging (not the reader), underaged drinking, swearing, dry humping, mentions of plan b, mentions of hospitals, possessive!jungwon, mentions of sobriety, heartbreak, allusions to depression, mentions of drinking and smoking, mentions of passing out.

ꕤA/N: i think i have a thing for sim jaeyun and angst.

“Jaeyunie, meet ____. You and her are gonna be best friends.”

Jake’s mother smiles, a hand lightly on his back, and pushes him forward with a gentle pat.

The moment she steps away from his side however, he panics, looking back at her desperately. He’s met with a smile of encouragement - caring but unsympathetic. Jake swallows harshly, shyness heavy in his throat, and uses all the willpower in his 9 year old body to force himself to look at the small female.

Standing across from him, a girl of roughly the same stature is grinning toothily - or at least she could've been, if she’d had enough teeth. ____, was dressed neatly, her hair laid down with lots of gel and two ponytails with bows holding it all together. Her light purple dress swayed as the gentle breeze blew. In one chubby fist she clutched tightly onto her fathers hand. Jake blushed, if he didn’t firmly believe that girls had cooties he would have sworn her to be the prettiest girl he’s ever laid eyes on so instead he scrunches his nose and says the first thing that comes to his mind and knows will hurt her feelings.

“You’re dirty,” he proclaimes, crossing his arms. “Very dirty.”

At his words, ____’s smile quickly falters and an almost angry look overtakes her face. “Am not!” Sensing his daughter's growing fury, her father steps in.

“____ah, calm down. I’m sure Jaeyun didn’t mean it, why don’t you two spend some time together? Hm? I’m sure you’ll be best friends.”

Not giving his daughter any time to argue, he excuses himself and leaves to go join the other adults by the varanda.

____ crosses her arms and stares up at Jake intimidatingly, “apologize.”

Jake gulps, although he’s a whole head taller than the girl and probably even older, he can’t help but be slightly scared of the icy glare she’s sending his way so he meekly mumbles, “I’m sorry”

However, it doesn’t seem as if ____ is pleased with the half assed apology. She raises an eyebrow and impatiently taps her foot on the grass, “for what?”

He gulps, “for calling you dirty, I didn’t mean it.”

Satisfied with the apology, a wide smile breaks out on ____’s face before she doubles over from laughing so hard. “Y-you should have seen your face!” She abruptly stands and quivers her bottom lip as she stares at Jake, “I-I’m s-s-sorry.” She breaks out into laughter once again, unable to hide her amusement. Jake only frowns and crosses his arms.

“It’s not funny.”

Ignoring his embarrassment, ____ walks right up to him and slings an arm around his neck, “Let’s be best friends forever, yah, Jaeyunie?”

Usually Jake would have scolded anyone who called him Jaeyunie, his mother and hyung being the only exceptions, but for some reason hearing the name slip out so easily from your mouth seemed comforting. “Okay,” he agreed, slightly hesitant. “You seem kinda stupid, so I can still be number one with you as my best friend.”

You only smiled in response, delighted, before spinning on your heel and running back to your mother and father, who were talking animatedly with his own parents.

What a strange girl, Jake thought. At least she wouldn't be competition.

___

Later that night, both of Jake’s parents and your mother and father were sitting at the table discussing grown-up things while you were in the bathroom and Jake was sitting beside his brother when his name filtered through to his ears. He had been in the process of stabbing the greens off his plate and slowly feeding them to his precious dog Layla when his parents weren’t looking, but at the mention of his name he perks up instantly.

“...Jake has already been offered scholarships to private middle schools once he finishes elementary but he’ll be attending the private international school his elder brother goes to,” she was bragging again.

Your mother perks up as well, “Wow, that’s so incredible, Suyeon. I think being friends with Jaeyun will really help ____ find some initiative. She’s already so used to being good at things, a little healthy competition is just what she needs.”

Jake’s father nods, gesturing for the maid in the corner to bring over the bottle of wine. “It’s certainly going to help with that. While we’re on this topic, I’d like to invite you to join our study group. We have the best tutors come in and teach the kids after school but only the best of the best are allowed to join, ____ shows a lot of promise.”

Jake listens nervously, watching his father as the maid filled his glass and stepped back.

you’re….smart?

His mother notices him staring, and reaches over to tousle his hair affectionately. “Don’t worry, Jaeyunie,” she croons. “You’ll still be number one. Being friends with kids that are as smart as you is a good thing! You and ____ will have lots more to talk about than you would with anyone else.”

He frowns. He knew sometimes parents lied to kids to stop them from being sad, but his mother would never lie to him. Jake was too clever, he’d figure out the lie before she finished telling it.

“Alright.” He found himself cautious for the second time that day. “As long as I can still be number one.”

Jake in fact did not stay number one for long.

Once you had fully settled into your new life in Australia your grades skyrocketed causing your teachers to bump you up a grade, placing you into Jake’s class, the two of you always went head to head vying for the first rank and each time Jake always fell a point behind.

It aggravated him to no end that you came out of nowhere and completely upended his whole life and identity, Jake had always been the smart one and never had any solid competition so having you seemingly pop out of nowhere and take away the very thing that made him, well him agitated him beyond belief.

But of course this made for a great friendship, while Jake claimed he hated your very existence he soon found himself looking forward to your after school study sessions. You never took them seriously, you always goofed off and made it your life's mission to teach Jake the meaning of fun. It took a while for the boy to warm up to you but you managed to get on his good side with a little bribing of fried chicken and grape soda.

The two of you would wait until your break to sneak out to the fried chicken place down the street to pick up the order you had placed during your tutoring session before heading back to hide in one of the various rooms inside Jake’s spacious home. The two of you would use this time to talk about the annoyances in your life, you would mostly complain about the girls who kept coming up to you to confess their love for Jake and how you were growing quite annoyed with having to turn them down on his behalf. He would only grimace and quickly change the topic to how annoyed he was with you for yet again topping the class rank.

Slowly but surely though, as the two of you began to age, the conversations began to change as he warmed up to you, what used to be pointless bickering and complaining turned into meaningful deep conversations about his fear of attachment, rooted in his father constantly leaving him and his family to go back to Korea for his job overseas. You had slowly become the only constant in Sim Jaeyun’s life and he truly had no intentions of letting you go. You really had become his best friend just like his mother predicted all those years ago.

While it might have taken Jake some time to love you, you loved him from the start. While everyone saw him as the perfect all rounder student you knew he was more than that. You knew he wasn’t perfect, wasn’t some ace who was just naturally talented. No, he worked just as hard- if not harder than his peers to keep up the image he was born to fit. He pulled all-nighters to bring home grades suitable for the assemblyman's son, immersed himself in after school clubs to fill up his resume because God forbid he wasn’t preparing for college at the ripe age of 9, learned multiple languages to become an ambassador for the school and threw himself into learning different instruments and playing different sports to really bring home the title of being an all-rounder.

In everything he pursued, he aced and came out on top. Which is why it irked him to his very core when you came around and knocked him down a peg. You knew right away just how much it bothered him, of course he complained about it every day during your group tutoring sessions but you didn’t really care. If anything it was motivation for you to work even harder to maintain the top spot.

You weren’t doing it out of spite or to intentionally anger him, no you were doing it to show him it’s okay to not always be perfect. It’s okay to rank second, it’s okay to goof off during tutoring sessions when studying is all you ever do, it’s okay to eat junk food when you feel like it and most importantly it’s okay to talk through your emotions with someone. You like to think you ranked first for his own good, to help him realize life is more than just school.

When the two of you reached high school you eased up with working so hard for the top rank but Jake didn’t, he studied all of your summer break before freshman year and placed into a year above you. It annoyed you that you were no longer graduating together but Jake became more lax and carefree knowing he would be graduating a year early, it was refreshing to see a new side of your best friend. Somewhere along the grades of 11 and 12 though, something shifted.

Jake was never unattractive but you never really took note of just how attractive he could be until your junior year.

___

“He’s gonna say no, Sarah.”

“We’re just looking out for you. He’s always hanging out with ____. They’re probably secretly dating, why don’t you just ask someone else?”

“I don’t know why you’re so set on him. I heard he’s already turned down six girls this month. six.”

Jake was just trying to get his calc homework done, bent over in the back of the library with his textbook open in front of him, eyes glued to the page. He spares you a frantic look, desperate to get your attention and convey that it was time to leave before it happened again.

You, of course, were not paying attention. You were splayed out haphazardly on the chair across from him, headphones in and scribbling in your notebook. You had a smudge of graphite on your nose from scratching it in the middle of your doodling session.

You hum peacefully, completely unaware of your friend's turmoil.

It was everywhere. Prom. It was one stupid night, and he was fully planning on spending it wrapped up in blankets in his living room with you watching romcoms. It was the senior prom and he refused to attend a social event he knew you wouldn’t be at.

Unfortunately, Jake was alone in that feeling, the girls whispering from the table behind the two of you were right. He’d been asked six times. Six excruciating experiences of being cornered by a near stranger who smiled too sweetly and asked him to be their date, six separate occasions on which he’d stuttered a “sorry” and bowed deeply, ducking out before they could say any more.

And by this point, he just really, really didn’t want to have to turn down another girl. He felt like absolute crap.

Jake reaches out, tugging at your school uniform. “____” he whisper-yells.

You shrug him off and pout, “you’ll mess me up. Stop.”

He persists however, this time more aggressive and even goes the extra mile and pulls out one of your airpods. “I’ll buy you dinner please can we just go?”

You finally look up from your work slightly agitated and a full on pout graces your lips, if it were any other time Jake would take a moment to admire how adorable you look but it wasn’t.

“Why do you wanna leave so badly?” you huff out.

Before Jake can answer though he’s cut off by Sarah, one of the girls who has made her way over to your table.

“Jake?”

At the mention of his name his eyes squeeze shut and it hits you like a truck on why he was so adamant to leave. This time it’s the girl from his IB Latin class who he tutored on occasion.

She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear, you wonder what Jake’s response is going to be this time. She’s very pretty.

“Yes?” He croaks out. Behind him, you sit up in your seat, ready to step in if needed.

She looks down, hands twisting together and fidgets and steps side to side, but when she sucks in a sharp inhale and looks up her eyes are filled with determination. Jake feels queasy, almost as if he’s about to vomit.

“Do you maybe want to go to prom with me?”

Jake swallows the lump in his throat, guilt twisting everything into a knot. You see his knuckles turn white as he makes a fist and you resume your drawing, knowing what his answer will be.

“I’m sorry,” he manages. “But I don’t plan on going.”

Your brow shoots up in shock, you never figured he was rejecting all these girls because he simply didn’t want to go, you thought he was just waiting for the right moment to ask the girl he truly wanted to go with. You never asked why he was so closed off about prom, you figured he would tell you in his own time when he was ready.

“Can I ask why?” She lets her hands fall to her side. “Even if you don’t wanna go with me, I think you’d have a lot of fun.” She retreats back to her friends before he can respond. Jake tries not to notice the way they shake their heads sympathetically and pat her back in comfort.

“She’s right you know, prom would be fun.” you say as you shut your sketchbook. “Plus, she seems really sweet.”

Jake rolls his eyes “you sound like my mom.”

“Ha ha,” you drawl, stretching and arching off the chair like a cat. “I really don’t understand why you don’t want to go. It’s your last chance to enjoy a high school dance.”

The previous year, while you were in your sophomore year and Jake in his junior year he skipped out on prom, choosing to attend his model UN conference instead as his dad had put an emphasis on how much more important the meeting was compared to prom.

Jake shrugs and reaches for your backpack to pull out some snacks you packed for him, “it makes it real.”

“Makes what real?” you tilt your head to the side and patiently wait for him to collect his thoughts to elaborate on what was bugging him.

Jake sighs. “That this is the end.” he mummers, “after prom it’s graduation, and after grad I’m off to the states for uni…away from you.”

Your heart skips a beat and your hands start to get clammy at his words. You try to subtly rub your hands on your skirt and sit up straighter, confused as to why his words have such a strong effect on you.

“We’ve never spent more than a week apart from each other and now we’re going to be thousands of miles apart for a year. I can’t go to prom knowing you won’t be there and that it brings me one step closer to leaving.” he continues, he doesn’t look at you as he lays his emotions bare for you, rather he focuses on organizing his snack options.

Your heart twinges at the reminder that he was leaving for Yale in the fall, this would be the last summer spent together for who knows how long. As much as the reminder upsets you, you still plaster a smile on your face and playfully roll your eyes.

“Did you forget our promise? You and me, forever and always. We have all of summer to make as many memories as we went and even after you leave we can facetime, technology has come a long way y’know.” You reach out to take the bag of chips he had settled on eating to open for him before handing it back. “Distance means nothing. I’ll always have time for my best friend, plus when I go to Harvard I’ll only be two hours away. Enjoy the time you have left in Australia. You'll probably miss it more than me when you actually leave.”

Jake shakes his head, “doubt it but you do make a valid point.”

You smirk and shrug, “when do I not?” You clear your throat. “Does this mean you’ll go to prom?”

He tugs his bottom lip between his teeth and tilts his head side to side before asking, “go to prom with me?”

This time you can’t hide your shock, it’s not odd for you and Jake to be pairs for most social events but for some reason him asking you to be his date for his first and only prom causes heat to rise to your cheeks.

“W-what?”

“What? I can’t see myself going with anyone else, I’m most comfortable around you. Plus when I think back to my senior prom I want to remember how much fun I had and when I’m with you all the stress I’m under suddenly doesn’t matter anymore.” He states.

“Stop being corny,” you hiss weakly, fumbling with the straps on your bag. “It’s not a good look.”

Jake giggles, “what? Do you want me to get down on my knees instead? Do a promposal?”

Your eyes widen, mortified at the idea of him putting together a grandiose promposal. “You’re such a little shit, I swear—“

“Hold on, siri play stand by me by be—“

You pick up your sketchbook and hurl it at his head causing him to duck out of the way and fall out of his chair onto the floor with the force of his laughter. Hearing his laugh causes a pinch in your heart.

When he finally manages to pull himself together and off the ground, he wipes at his eyes and sighs. “Seriously, though.” He hums. “Will you go to prom with me?”

You swallow thickly, averting your eyes to the floor. “Sure.” you say quietly. “I guess so.”

You're uncharacteristically nervous for prom. Your mom insisted on taking the day off from work to help you get ready when you told her Jake had asked you to go with him.

You thought she was being dramatic but she swore up and down, left and right- that this was the beginning to your ‘blooming love story’.

She brought you to a salon to have your hair and makeup done and even splurged on a $900 dress. You’re beyond grateful to have a mother as understanding and loving as she is. Your father is away on business and unable to make it to take pictures so your mom has been documenting the whole day to share with him, the two of you are currently in your bedroom as she paints your toes.

“Mom?”

She hums in reply and puts down a new coat of nail polish on your big toe. “How’d you know dad was the one?”

Your heart is quiet in your chest, a calm thumping rather than the stutter it had been at all week as you wait for her response. She softly smiles before responding.

“He showed up to my dorm room with pedialyte and carpet cleaner.” She caps the nail polish and cleans around the edges of your toes. “We had been dating for some time and I was supposed to attend a business summit with him but I had a stomach bug and threw up all over my dorm. Your dad didn’t hesitate to drop his plans for the day and showed up to take care of me. He was the first person to ever put me before anything else and I just knew I loved him when he showed up with no clue on what to do but willing. He didn’t care about what his dad had to say about skipping the event or anything else, just me.”

You hum and fiddle with your hands as you think back to moments you’ve shared with Jake. The first one your brain recalls is the first time you got your period. Unfortunately it happened during your school's nature classroom trip. You were up in the woods for the week learning about nature and science through different activities and during your first night there you got your period. You walked around the whole day with blood stains on your shorts and cramps you couldn’t account for. You were beyond embarrassed come dinner time. You had no girl friends in the grade to ask for help and the boys made it a show of embarrassing you at dinner by pouring ketchup all over your seat. Jake was having none of it though, he came up to you at your table and wrapped his hoodie around your waist before grabbing your arm and leading you out of the canteen to the nurse on site.

He stayed by your side that night watching stand by me on your phone outside the cabins getting bit by mosquitoes. He didn’t complain or make any jokes of his own, rather stayed silent and let you have the quiet time you needed. When the two of you finally retreated back to your separate rooms you found a little gift basket on your bed filled with different types of pads, tampons, a heating pack and some chocolates. Apparently while you were walking around with stained shorts Jake was going around collecting different menstrual items from the girls in your grade to give to you, his way of helping.

It did make your heart flutter at the time but you chalked it up to your period hormones and never spoke on how it made you feel to anyone…Was that when you started to fall in love with your best friend?

Your doorbell goes off and you feel anxiety seep into your bones. Your mom senses this and holds your hand to give it a firm squeeze. “don’t stress about something you’re not sure about, okay? I want you to have fun tonight - both of you.”

You nod at her, loving how she knows exactly what was plaguing your mind, you let her lead you out your room and out to the living room. She lets go of your hand and walks over to the door, opening it wide.

“Wow.” You and Jake exclaim simultaneously as soon as you see each other. The butterflies in your stomach erupt once again at the sight of him; dressed in an sleek black suit with the first three buttons of his black undershirt undone, his hair has been bleached blonde and styled down with a part in the middle.

“You look…amazing.” Jake breathlessly lets out, staring at you in complete awe.

You blush and flatten out invisible wrinkles in your dress. “Thank you so do you, I love your hair.”

He smiles and shakes his fringe out of his eyes, “thanks. Figured why not try something new. Ready to go?”

“Woah woah woah, hold on, you two aren’t going anywhere without taking pictures!” His mom appears from behind him, “Let me go get my phone real quick!”

Your mom claps her hands as scurries off to retrieve her phone, “Oh, yes! I have to take pictures for your dad.”

Jake walks up next to you and you’re sure your heart is about to beat out of your chest. “You look really great, ____.”

“You’re not so bad yourself. Blonde was a great idea.” You bring your hand up to fix his parting a bit more. “It’s a nice contrast with the all black suit.”

“Yeah.” He swallows, looking down at his shoes.

“Okay! I have my phone!” Your mom says as she returns, instructing both of you to move out to her garden in the backyard and stand by the peonies for the photo.

“This might take a while.” You whisper to him and he chuckles, gently placing a hand on your lower exposed back.

“Won’t you get cold later?”

You shrug, “probably. Good thing your mother raised you to be a gentleman.” It takes him a second to register your words, scoffing in disbelief once he realizes what you were hinting towards but he doesn’t argue knowing he really will give you his jacket the second he sees you shiver.

“Smile!”

___

After a long process of taking pictures the two of you finally head out with Jake driving you guys to prom. Upon arriving you’re amazed at how extravagant the venue looks. Just another perk of attending a private school you think to yourself.

After finding parking the two of you head inside to find your table, you’re sharing it with your two friends Kairo and Mei and a random couple who snagged their tickets at the last minute (Jun and Luna).

“Jake! ____!” Kairo and Mei are in the entryway to the ballroom, waiting for the two of you where they texted they would be standing.

Mei walks forward, a greeting never making it past her lips, as she reaches out to brush Jake’s fringe out of his eyes. “Sorry, it was bothering me.” She mumbles as she steps back.

You know her intentions are innocent but with the way Jake’s cheeks flush red and he can barely meet her gaze you feel a twinge of jealousy and sadness. Since when was he flustered by Mei? The four of you met during SAT Prep and formed your own study group to help each other out during midterms and finals your freshman year (Jake’s sophomore) the dynamic between you all was pretty formal. The four of you didn’t make plans to go to the movies or the mall like other kids your age, it was strictly studying and neither of you minded it. Kairo and Mei fulfilled you and Jake in an academic sense while you and Jake met all your social and more emotional needs together.

So why the hell was he all blushy at Mei fixing his hair? Why didn’t he react the same when you fixed his parting?

“Should we go in?” Kairo asks.

“That sounds great,” you grit out, your grip tightening on your clutch.

Mei slides up next to Kairo and slips her arm back through his. The four of you walk in and find your table. Kairo pulls out Mei’s seat and Jake follows, doing the same for you.

“So Jake, are you excited for commencement?” Mei asks once you’ve all taken your seats.

Jake clears his throat, “more nervous than excited. Can’t believe it’s all finally over.”

The three of them go back and forth in idle talk before Jake slowly eases his way out of the conversation, mindlessly nodding at what your friends are saying and leaving you to your thoughts.

He’s uncharacteristically silent though as he bobs his head to the music. Seeing as you know him better than yourself, you know he’s nervous - but why?

Was he thinking of Mei? The thought makes you feel sick; you have no reason to be jealous because you’re just his best friend and your feelings are a jumbled mess you can’t navigate through- you don’t even know what you want from him. He can’t fix what he doesn’t know is broken.

Your mind is absolutely blank as you stare down at your hands on your lap. You only snap out of it when a large hand engulfs yours, but you don’t dare to look at him. You can’t.

“Are you okay?”

There they are again; the stupid butterflies winding up in the confines of your stomach. “Yeah,” You remove his hands from yours, “I’m fine.”

Jake reluctantly lets you pull his hand away, knowing something’s wrong but he doesn’t want to push. You compose yourself and remind yourself about your words to Jake; this is his last school dance. It needs to be memorable.

So you’ll make it memorable.

As the night goes on with the food served and multiple performances happening, you’re able to loosen up and forget your worries.

“Do you want to join the dance floor?” Kairo asks as he eyes the growing dance floor.

“No.” You frantically respond, earning a look of judgment from Mei.

“Yes!” She exclaims, grabbing both you and Kairo before dragging you out of your seats with a gleeful giggle.

You try to grab on to Jake for help, but your hand merely grazes his as you’re pushed to the dance floor. On the dance floor, other people have jumped into the idea of dancing and in no time, it’s filled with dancing students.

A little while later, Jake joins the three of you and your little dance circle moves around each other for a few songs; you’re all laughing and you’re genuinely starting to enjoy yourself. Eventually, Kairo and Mei leave to go take a breather leaving you alone with Jake.

“Are you feeling any better?” He leans down to your ear and tries to speak over the loud music.

You nod, “Ye-”

You’re cut off by the loud upbeat music dying out and picking back up but this time a soft violin intro fills the room, you recognize the song instantly. The live orchestra begins playing the chorus of nobody gets me by Sza, you watch as everyone around you pairs up and when you turn around, Jake is already looking at you with a small smile tugging on his lips.

His ears are tinged pink as he offers you a shrug, “Do you wanna dance?” He holds out his hand to you.

You take it with baited breath and immediately at the touch, the butterflies are at it again. You step closer to him and place your other hand on his shoulder while his other goes to your back, where your skin is exposed.

He’s gone back to being unusually quiet again; he’s just leading you to the slow beat of the song and looking away, only meeting your eyes when he catches your lingering gaze.

“____, you’ve been out of it all night. Are you really okay?” He quietly asks, his brows furrowing.

“I…” For a moment, you consider confessing what’s weighing on your heart but you panic. How would he react if he knew?

“____?”

“I think I’m in love with you.” You blurt out, a heavy sigh leaving your lips as soon as the words come out. You feel a little lighter knowing you’ve said your peace but your heart races in panic as you wait for his response.

“Oh,” Jake whispers. It could have been your imagination but you swear his eyes look just as dizzy and unfocused as your own. His lips part maybe to say something more, but close as quickly as they opened and his gaze flickers down to your lips.

“I-” You choke on your words, shame and regret instantly flooding your body. You want to curl up and hide in a hole but you can’t. Jake is holding on to you too tightly and you’ve already let the cat out of the bag. Might as well get it all off your chest. “I-I don’t know when it happened but I know my feelings aren’t platonic anymore. You’re all I can ever seem to think about, when you touch me it feels like butterflies are swimming in my stomach and the thought of you even being interested in someone else makes me sick to my stomach.”

You take a deep breath, “I think I’m in love with you Jake. I love the little things that make you Jake, your obsession with math and physics, your ability to make anyone you speak to feel truly seen, how you rely on God to get you through hardships you face.” You continue to drone on and on about the quirks you love about your best friend, not noticing the way his lips tip upward in a wide grin.

“I love you.” You confess.

“____?” He asks, voice even.

“Yeah?”

“Stay still.”

Jake steps forward and wraps his hand delicately around the back of your neck, he doesn’t miss the way your hooded eyes follow his movement. He stands up straighter, he’s so close that your noses brush against each other ever so slightly.

The flush on Jake’s cheekbones is clear as day, a lovely rose pink.

He takes one final deep breath and leans in to plant a kiss on your awaiting lips. The moment your lips touch, you feel a spark of electricity jolt through your body but as quick as it comes, however, and before you can react, he’s already swiftly pulling away.

When the two of you pull back, your eyes are wide open, gaze fixed on Jake’s face, his lips left slightly parted. His entire body is vibrating with warmth and anxiety, hardly able to keep still.

Jake stares at you, still feeling the desire pooling in his stomach, and wonders if he had made a mistake.

“____,” Jake calls, quietly. “____.”

He begins to hold his breath. Did he overstep?

“Did you…” You begin, eyes wide, flickering rapidly across his face. “Did you…just…”

“Yeah,” Jake replies, his voice cracking a tad. “Yeah, I did.”

There’s a silence between the two of your for a long second before you collect your bearings and clear your throat and say,

“Do it again.”

Jake feels numb, unable to be shaken or moved by the world around him, so he steps back in and tilts his head to the side, kissing you once again like you asked.

You can barely hear the crowd around you over the sound of your own heartbeat. Jake kisses you softly, almost shyly. A gentle hand slides down to your hip, anchoring you in place, a solid touch while the rest of the world slowly fades away.

You can’t think about anything other than the feeling of Jake’s lips finally on your own. You continue to kiss Jake until you feel his hand leave your hip and he gently pulls his lips away.

You keep your eyes shut for a second longer, body thrumming with warmth and energy, you feel Jake’s forehead knock against yours after a beat. When you finally open your eyes, like always, Jake was staring right back at you.

“I love you too.”

Following prom you feel as though you’re on cloud nine. After your shared confessions and heated kisses Jake took you outside of the venue to discuss where things would go from here. He only had three more months left in Australia before he had to leave for Yale but he knew he would be a fool if he let you go.

The two of you came to the conclusion that you would take things slow and enjoy the little time you had together working towards being a couple and pick things back up once you graduated and made your way to the states to join Jake.

Things truly felt perfect, Jake would come by your home every now and then to take you on impromptu dates with a new bouquet everytime and an explanation on why he chose those specific flowers. On days where he was too busy getting ready for his upcoming semester to take you out, you would pack him little lunches and drive the two of you down to the park you would often visit in your childhood and have little picnics while listening to him go on about how excited he was for the physics program at Yale.

The people who had been in your lives and watched you grow up together were thrilled at the direction in which your relationship was going. Both your parents were delighted when Jake broke the news that you were officially seeing each other on a romantic level working towards eventually dating. You would often have Sunday brunch together after going to church with his family and yours before sneaking off to his room to cuddle on his bed for an afternoon nap.

Had you known this is what would come with confessing, you would have told Jake way sooner but sadly, time had passed and the date of Jake’s departure from Australia was fastly approaching. He has a week left and he’s determined to make it the best one yet.

“Let's road trip to Sydney.”

You stop fiddling with Jake's fingers and turn your head to look up at him from your position on his chest. “What?”

He smiles down at you before placing a quick kiss to your forehead. “You heard me, let’s take a road trip to Sydney.”

You playfully roll your eyes. “Yeah I heard you dummy but why?”

He shrugs and entwines your hands once more. “Why not? It’s my last week and we talked about road tripping down there for spring break but someone,” he pauses to poke at your side with his free hand drawing out some giggles form you his heart warming at the sound, “-just had to get sick the night before we were supposed to leave.”

You let out a groan, “you’re never going to let that go are you?” Jake hums, “absolutely not.”

You huff in thought, “it’s a nine hour drive Jake…”

He sits up forcing you to do the same as well, turning to face him. “We can take turns. Plus my flights’ leaving from Sydney, we could go to the airport together and have a proper goodbye without my parents bugging us.”

You bite down on your lip seriously considering Jake’s impromptu idea. Within the past three months you’ve had to share Jake with so many people- his soccer team, his orchestra friends, his family. Everyone. Alone time was scarce and the thought of a getaway to Sydney where it would be just the two of you and no distractions sounded lovely.

“Okay.”

“Okay? Just like that?”

You hum and move to sit on his lap and throw your hands over his shoulders. “Why not?”

A huge smile breaks out on Jake's face causing you to smile as well, something about seeing him happy always managed to bring you happiness. It should be scary, just how willing you are to sacrifice for Jake but for some reason you always throw caution to the wind the second he comes around. You’d give him the world if you could.

You feel Jake wrap his arms around your waist and slowly slide his hands under your shirt to caress your back. “What's going on in that pretty head of yours, love?”

You begin playing with the hair on the nape of his neck and whisper out, “thinking bout’ how I'd give you the world.” Jake’s hands pause at the base of your back, clearly caught off guard, you look down at his eyes and see how dark they’ve gotten. Desire and love pooling in the hues of his brown eyes. “You are my world.”

He leans in as he finishes his sentence and places his lips on yours. The feeling of his lips is incredibly warm as he pushes them against yours, slightly chapped but otherwise still soft. The amount of emotion he puts into kissing you isn’t like anything you felt before, there’s more desire in this kiss compared to all the others you’ve shared. The feeling of his tongue sweeping against the plumpness of your lower lip and the heat from his body sends butterflies to your stomach.

His hands fall down to your hips, pushing up your t-shirt to feel the softness of your stomach beneath his palms with battered breaths before pushing you back. He makes quick work of flipping you so your back is now on the mattress and it’s him straddling you. You gasp at the feeling of the soft mattress beneath you, his body pinning you deeper back as he continues exploring your mouth with his own.

You pull back slightly, breathing heavily and your lips red and plump with saliva. Jake smirks at the sight, his thumb coming up to pull down your bottom lip with the tip of his finger before moving his mouth to the sensitive skin of your neck.

The strands of his hair are silky beneath your fingertips, gasping and tugging at the roots as he bites down on a certain area of your neck that makes your core clench.

“Jaeyun,” you whisper, whimpering at the feeling of his palm applying pressure lightly against your navel. “Are we-?”

He slowly pulls away from you and adamantly shakes his head. “No.” you whine in protest as he pulls away and lays beside you once more. He pulls you close to his chest before confessing to you. “I want our first time to be romantic, not some quick fuck in my bedroom.” He kisses your temple. “You deserve more than that.”

The Following Day - 1:36PM

“Ready to head out?”

You whirl around to find Jake standing in front of you and your parents, having just finished packing your suitcases in the trunk of his car and is now looking over at you with a tilt in his head.

You nod and smile brightly. “Of course,” You say, turning to your mom and dad to bid them one fast farewell. “I was just saying bye.”

He nods in understanding, waving to your parents, “I promise we’ll be safe and if anything happens you’ll be the first we call.” He says to reassure your parents, more so your dad who was a bit more hesitant to the last minute idea.

Your dad nods stiffly at Jake, “take good care of her. No drinking or scandalous activities, I’m not ready for any grandchildren.”

You gasp at your dads words and swat at his chest. “Dad! Stop embarrassing me!” He only tisks in your direction.

“You know what's more embarrassing? Having to finish your senior year pregn-”

“-Ahhh. Dad, stop it! I promise we’ll make smart choices!”

He chortles at your flushed expression and leans in for a hug. “I’m only messing with you.” You hug him back before pulling away to give your mother a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.

“See you in a week!”

After pulling away Jake steps forward to hug your parents goodbye as well.

“Be safe Jake, we’ll miss seeing you so often! Make sure to call us if you ever need anything once in the states, okay?” Your mom softly says to him as she holds his face in her hands, tears slowly filling her eyes. Over the years Jake has slowly become like a son to her, she was used to cooking extra knowing he’d come over for dinner after your tutoring sessions. She had even turned one of the spare bedrooms into a personal room for Jake, allowing him to sleepover when his parents were out of town for business.

You can only imagine how much she's going to miss him, maybe as much as you know you’ll be missing him.

He nods and sniffs, is he crying too? “Of course auntie, I’m really going to miss our Friday night movie marathons.”

You smile bitterly beginning to fight back tears of your own. Your father was always away for weekend meetings in Melbourne starting Friday night into Saturday evening and as captain of the varsity volleyball team you had late night practices every Friday meaning you wouldn’t be back home until the dead of night and your mother was left all alone. Jake, having nothing to do once classes were done would often go over to your home to keep her company so she wouldn’t be all alone in your home. It was a little tradition the two kept up over the years.

You hadn't given yourself time to really mourn the idea of being separated from Jake for an entire year but watching him say his tearful goodbyes to your parents is really putting into perspective just how entwined your lives are. He’s your everything and how he’s leaving, how are you going to manage your senior year without your best friend?

“We should get going.”

“Mhmm.” You look over at Jake and reach a hand out to wipe away his fallen tears. “It’s okay.”

The two of you say one last goodbye before getting into Jake’s range rover, you look out the window to see your parents waving you off. You slide back into the passenger seat of his car and put on your seatbelt now processing the fact that this is the last week you have with Jake.

There is a silence as Jake is starting the car, and a part of you wants to die. On one hand you want to cry and beg him to stay but on the other you know if you do, Jake will differ his offer and take a year off to be with you. That’s the last thing you want, he deserves happiness. That’s all you’ve ever wanted for him. If that means braving a smile for now while your heart is in turmoil so be it.

Jake is the first to break the silence.

“That was a lot harder than I thought it would be.” He drives down your driveway before making a right to pull into the neighborhood.

“Goodbyes are never easy.”

“Yeah but…I didn't cry when saying bye to my parents but something about your parents made leaving seem all the more ...real?”

“It’s only natural, you spent more time with us. You’re like their second child.”

Jake hums in thought, “I don’t think I’lll survive having to say goodbye to you.”

You purse your lips thinking about what your goodbye would be like. Would there be tears? Unspoken words? “I think you’ll be just fine.” You reach out for his right hand that lays on the gear shift and hold it tightly. “It’s only temporary.”

The next nine hours are spent singing old 90’s love songs and making pit stops every now and then to stock up on some new snacks and to switch off so Jake isn’t so tired. During your third stop is when Jake pulls out a camera and begins vlogging the remainder of the trip claiming it would be nice to look back at it once the trip is over.

Once you finally make it to your destination, you pull into the driveway and place the car in park before looking around at your surroundings. The home is modern with nothing but natural light, it’s surrounded by trees to still give you enough privacy but it’s secluded from the other homes on the lane.

“Oh my gosh it’s so pretty.”

You open the door and immediately extend your legs out onto the solid ground beneath you. You let out a sigh of satisfaction and Jake laughs from next to you.

He’s opening his own car door soon after, but he straightens up into a standing position pretty quickly and stretches upwards. He closes the car door behind him, watching as you eventually pull yourself together to do the same.

You turn to face him. “I’m gonna use the bathroom.” You gesture towards the airbnb and earn a nod from Jake, who mentions something about doing the same thing. You meet back at the car a few minutes later.

Jake gestures to the trees surrounding the home. “Want to take a walk around the area? I think I saw a park when we pulled into the neighborhood.”

You nod. “That sounds like a good idea.”

“Why don’t you get started? I’ll catch up.” Jake watches you leave, before opening the trunk of his car and rummaging around.

He does catch up with you, quickly enough that you hardly notice that he had sent you out first. You hear his footsteps, and the call of your name, causing you to turn around. “Jake!”

The sight before you makes you smile brightly. Standing before you is Jake, with his polaroid in hand. The lens is pointed right at you. As soon as you’re staring straight into the camera, Jake grins. “Say cheese”

You giggle and close your eyes before making a little peace sign. You hear the little click and the flash illuminates your face. You open your eyes to find Jake smiling down at the little printed picture waiting for it to develop. “I can’t believe you brought that.”

“I’m a photographer at heart, what did you expect?” Jake teases back. “Besides, it’s really pretty around here. I need some pictures for my dorm.”

You blush at the thought of him putting up a picture of you on his dorm wall. The pair of you begin to make your way to the park, taking in the view from different angles. The stroll is mostly just to get rid of the pent up energy, but it’s still a nice view to admire. As soon as you arrive at the park you ditch Jake to run to the swing set.

“Push me?”

Jake rolls his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief but still walks behind you to push you forward.

“Did you know my brother and I got in trouble with our mom because of how high we would swing you?” Jake giggles, “she was worried we’d push you too high and you’d go flying.”

“I blame your brother. He turns everything into a competition.”

“So do you!” Jake exclaims. You quickly stop the swing with your feet to turn back at him with a judgmental look on your face. “When we were a little older and Jaehyun left us to push each other you would get annoyed that I didn't push you as hard as you did for me.”

“It's true though.”

You scoffed, “at least I didn’t actually push you off your seat.”

He laughs at the memory, “we’re stronger now, do you wanna see who can go higher?”

“knowing exactly how strong you are… uh, not really? but whatever, let’s do it!” you brace yourself on the swing and start pulling yourself back to get momentum.

“Okay, wait! Wait!” he rushes to the seat beside yours and pushes it as far as his hips can go, already giving him an advantage. “Okay, go!”

Childish laughter escapes both of you as you let yourselves swing back and forth, trying to put your weight in properly to reach higher than each other. it really felt like you were kids again, you felt at peace, a part of you never wanted this night to end.

The next few days fly by and just like that it’s the night before Jake’s flight. You had spent your time in Sydney visiting the opera house, late night dinner dates and excursions all over the bustling city. There truly never was a dull moment within this week that’s come to pass. Getting to make new memories with Jake is exactly what you needed.

The two of you have just gotten back from dinner at Altitude, a restaurant overlooking the opera house. You’re now in your shared bathroom dressed in one of Jake’s old tee’s and a thong doing your nightly skin care routine as Jake undresses in the bedroom, getting ready for his nightly shower. You look at his reflection through the mirror as he takes off his shirt. Your eyes skim down his toned chest, desire pooling in the pits of your stomach. Throughout your time here it’s been nothing but makeouts and little pecks throughout the day. You wonder if he’ll finally make a move tonight.

“I can feel you staring, love.”

“That’s the point.”

Jake doesn’t say anything in response but rather slides up behind you and peppers your neck with gentle kisses. He cages you between his body and sink and presses his hips into your back. Your eyes flutter shut at the feeling of his fully hard cock pressing against your lower back.

Jake’s eyes rake your body through the mirror, desire burning in his irises. he shifts his eyes to stare at your lips before moving back to turn you around and face him and press himself directly to your front before leaning down and in. He takes his time, giving you the opportunity to pull away but you don’t. You want this.

He leans forward and allows his lips to graze yours, the faintest of touches. “Are you sure you want to do this darling? We don't have to.” Jake asks softly.

You shyly nod your head and lean in to close the gap but he pulls ways and shakes his head, “no love. I need to hear you say yes.”

“Yes, I want to do this, Jaeyun.” You push forward allowing your lips to touch. He groans once your lips make contact. You’re unable to focus on anything other than the feeling of his lips on yours.

You can faintly taste the shirley temple he had at dinner on his tongue. He sucks harder on your lip and brings one hand down in between your things to prod at your pulsing heat.

He pulls away to let his eyes drink in the sight of you before leaning down to pick you up. you let out a yelp and grasp onto his biceps for protection, “w-what are you doing?” You sputter.

“I can’t make love to you properly on the sink, darling.”

You blush at his words and bury your face into his chest, after a few strides Jake is gingerly placing you on the bed.

He gets onto his knees and straddles your hips before reaching out to help you out of your shirt. You breathe in deeply savoring the way he feels pressed against you. the feeling of his warm fingers moving under the hem of your shirt across your stomach. He lifts it off of your body and tosses it across the room.

“Thank you for trusting me with your body.” Jake says before leaning back in and places his lips on yours yet again.

You moan into the kiss before he trails kisses down your jaw to your neck, his teeth brushing over your skin and making you shiver regardless of the heat being provided by Jake’s skin pushed up against yours. You close your eyes and relish the feeling.

With his lips still pressed against your neck, he whispers, “what do you want love?”

Your eyes flutter open as he slowly pulls away to look at you.

“I won’t do anything until you tell me what you want.” He reiterates before placing his lips back onto your neck, biting down making it harder for you to form a coherent sentence.

“I-i don’t know.” You say breathily but he chuckles in your ear, “yes you do love, tell me what you want so I can make you feel good.” He says as he gently tugs at your underwear, you whine and raise your hips off the bed to allow him to take it off faster. He tisks, “I need to hear you say it.” You look up at him to meet his gaze, “I want you to touch me.”

His gaze hardens, “spread your legs doll.” He orders.

He shifts his position and allows you to spread your legs before slotting himself in between them. He taps his fingers against your hips silently asking you to raise them. You shyly lift them to the best of your ability and let him pull them off of you, your arousal clinging to your underwear and clit.

Once you’re completely naked, he brings his lips to your chest and roughly kisses your skin, his tongue probing at your nipple. You whimper when he bites your left nipple, the feeling overwhelming. He pulls back and looks at your bare body.

“Fuck you’re so beautiful.” He mumbles before leaning down to toy with your pussy.

“You’re so wet too. Did our kissing turn you on so much, love?” Jake asks, smirking down at you. your face heats up at his words but you don’t respond. He looks back down at your pussy and shifts his position so he’s laying down in front of your pussy. He lets his pointer finger circle your clit for a little before running it along the slit of your folds. You let out a mewl at the feeling wanting more. “P-please Ja..” You moan.

“Patience, love.”

He dips one finger into you and you hiss at the feeling. It’s been a while since you’ve been touched down there and you’re extremely sensitive. “You’re so tight,” he says, pushing his finger deeper until the entire digit is buried snuggly inside you. You close your eyes and tug at the bedsheets, loving the feeling of him fingering you.

You’re a moaning mess by the time he manages to slide his whole finger into you. You clench around his fingers as he slides them in and out of your snatch and grasp onto your bedsheets. “Does it feel nice to be stuffed with my fingers?” Jake asks.

You know your voice will fail you so you adamantly nod your head. Jake picks up the pace and your hips move to his strokes. Jake licks his lips when he feels your walls clenching tightly around his digits.

“I-i think I’m close.”

His fingers curl inside of you which causes your hips to jerk upwards. “Are you cunning?” He asks cheekily.

You nod eagerly, “yes!” your eyes snap shut as you enjoy the feeling, “o-oh my gosh” you cry as you feel him kiss the inside of your thighs. He trails the kisses upwards until he’s face to face with your pussy and places a soft kiss on the nub before sucking on it, his tongue flicking around. He pulls his pointer and middle finger out so he can eat you out freely.

He licks the slit of your folds and firmly grips the flesh of your thighs most likely leaving marks. Marks that would remind you of this moment later on.

Jake picks up the pace, he’s going so fast that you let out a quiet scream. You fist and unfist your sheets as you rock your hips against his face and come.

Your orgasm hits you so hard that tears fill your vision.

Jake allows you to ride out your high before coming up from your private parts and leans back down to place a chaste kiss on your lips.

“Are you feeling alright love?” He asks as he strokes your hair. You’re heaving, trying to catch your breath.

“Yes.”

“Do you want to continue?”

You nod but then remember Jake wants verbal responses, “I do.”

Jake wastes no time in removing his shorts and boxers and gently moves up your body. you wrap your arms around his neck. “C-can you be gentle?” You sheepishly ask.

Your question sends an immediate reaction to Jake’s dick, he swears he could have busted a nut right then and there. “Of course doll, I'll be gentle.”

He tentatively strokes your folds with two fingers, eyes darting back up to yours to check your response. You hiss, still a bit sensitive. “Is this okay? Are you sensitive?”

“I’m fine,” you assure, “go ahead, I’m okay.”

He nods, gathering some of your wetness and smears it on his cock, a moan of relief leaving his swollen lips. “I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to be buried inside of you,” he says, angling himself better and positioning his cock near your entrance.

“Please,” you whimper, biting back a cry once his length breaches your entrance. Jake lets out a guttural growl, slowly sinking into you and bottoming out letting you adjust to his length.

“You’re so beautiful.” Jake says, rolling his hips torturously slow. “You were made for me, love. Just for me.”

You open your eyes, taking a deep breath. “I’m ready, you can move now.”

Jake leans forward to place a kiss on your cheek, then on your jaw, and then on your neck. As Jake busies himself there he slowly begins to thrusts in and out of you.

Your hands are all over him; clawing his back, gripping his biceps. “Love,” he whispers, “you feel so good.”

The sound of your bodies slapping against each other plus your loud wanton moans and the creaking from the bed is all that can be heard reverberating around in the home. He thrusts two more times, his hips stuttering before he chokes out, “mm gonna cum.”

You scratch at his sides and bite your lip to suppress your moan, “m-me too.”

“You can cum love,” Jake coos. He wraps his arms around you and hugs you closer to his body, the feeling of your chest pressed against him and his dick pounding into you is enough to send you over the edge.

“I’m cumming!” You mumble into his skin. Jake groans at the feeling of you cumming on his dick before his hips still and he comes inside you painting your walls white.

His lips are on your shoulders and neck, softly sucking on patches of your skin and murmuring sweet nothings as you calm down.

“Fuck.”

Jake pulls out and looks down at the mess of the sheets, now that he’s no longer caught up in his lustful haze it dawns on him that the two of you didn’t use protection. So much for smart choices.

As if now remembering yourself you shrug, “I’ll just grab a plan b tomorrow.”

Jake nods, “I’ll send you the money for it.”

His body then drops to lay beside you and he pulls you in close with the promise of a hot shower after a few minutes of decompressing. You roll over and sit up, swatting Jake’s hands away as he reaches for your arm. “Wait, I have something for you.”

He hums, interest piqued. “Huh?”

You open the bedside drawer where you had hidden the card you had written for Jake before the two of you left Brisbane. It was a love letter, all the things you’ve ever wanted to tell him but kept to yourself out of fear. It holds all the words your heart so desperately wants to tell him before he leaves.

“It’s not anything extravagant but I know you care more for sentimental things anyway.” You hand him the card, “don’t read it until you’re on the plane.”

He looks at the light pink envelope decorated in stickers and his name written in neat calligraphy in the center, the faintest smile on his face but a hint of sadness in his eyes.

“I love you.”

The way he says it sounds different from all the other times he’s ever told you. Almost as if he needs to convince you that he loves you but you know. He places one last kiss to your lips before pulling you back down to cuddle.

“I’m going to miss you.”

Jake hums, “me too.”

The room slips into a comforting silence and eventually you drift off.

8:41am

You wake up feeling cold. You whine and feel around for Jake’s body but when you feel nothing you open your eyes and softly call out for him. “Jake?”

When you’re met with no response you sit up and look around the still dark room. You stand from the bed and reach for your shirt that was still on the ground. You hadn’t intended to fall asleep, it was only meant to be a quick nap before the two of you took a shower together and watched movies until it was time for you to head to the airport.

“Jake? If you’re trying to scare me, give up.”

You’re still met with silence and you begin to feel uneasy. “Jake?”

You search the living room and your heart drops. His things are gone, his shoes, his suitcases. Everything. You run back to the room to see if it’s really true, if Jake left without saying goodbye. What you find breaks your heart even more. All his toiletries are gone, all that's left are your belongings. You let out a sob when you find the love letter you had written for him laying atop his pillow, opened and crumpled at the sides, proof he had read it but didn’t care enough to take it with him.

You drop on to the bed in shock and disbelief, tears sitting in your waterline. You turn to look beside you, staring at the letter as if it had burned you, the only trace that Jake was ever here is his scent in the sheets. You look at the alarm clock to see if you’ll be able to make it to the airport on time and bid him a proper farewell, your heart sinks once again when you realize you’re far too late. It’s 8:50 and his flight leaves in ten minutes. You sniff and decide to not dwell on it, Jake probably had his reasons and you have to get ready to go home.

You strip out of your shirt and discard it on the floor before walking into the bathroom to start your shower. You step into the shower, toes flinching as they touch the chilled ceramic floor. Your mind is in shreds; how could Jake leave without a goodbye? You turn the dial, releasing thousands of frigid drops, wetting your hair and trickling down your back. Your eyes fall closed and images of last night cross your mind.

You want to scream. Did last night not mean as much to him as it did to you? Was this all so he could fuck and just leave? You wrap up your shower and step out to brush your teeth. When finished, you dry off and head for your suitcase to pick out an outfit. You settle on sweatpants and an old graphic tee with slides. Once dressed and ready for your journey back, you finish your packing and look around the house one last time to see if maybe Jake left anything for you, maybe even an explanation. All you find is a plan b box on the kitchen counter next to a water bottle. You pick up the pill box and exit promptly and throw your things in the back of Jake’s car. You look down at the passenger seat where the letter you had written for him sits. You pick it up and examine it one last time before shoving it deep into your backpack.

Maybe this was less painful than having to say goodbye.

It in fact was not less painful. A day passed, then two, then a week, then a month. You stared at your phone at all hours of the day, calling and texting waiting for confirmation that he had arrived safely and an explanation on why he went ghost but it never came.

You started your senior year alone. That was the first time you ever realized just how dependent you were on Jake, you had no other friends to go to the movies with, you spent your senior appreciation week alone, you had no one to make plans with when the weekend would roll around. Maybe you should have made deeper connections. You slowly started to lose sight of the end goal, Harvard had always been your dream but your mind was in too much turmoil to see it meaning anything without Jake, your heart can’t stand to be near him but not have a connection to him. You had heard from his mother that he had settled in at Yale and was enjoying his time abroad. You never told your parents what happened down in Sydney, you couldn’t bring yourself to talk about it without crying.

Eventually you began to decline, your grades took a hit and your GPA dropped from the perfect 4.5 it had been sitting at for the past four years to a 3.2. You started failing your core classes and you were kicked off of the varsity volleyball team. Your parents couldn’t understand the sudden change in you. You stopped talking to them, stopped going to your tutoring sessions and stopped caring about life itself. You would only go to school when you felt like it and come straight home before locking yourself in your bedroom. When time came to send in your college applications you didn’t know what to do. You knew Harvard wouldn’t want you and you never considered any other options. You sat down with your guidance counselor and she gave you some options. The majority consisted of staying in Australia, letting you know it didn’t seem possible to go abroad. You limited your application process to four schools, two in Australia and two in Massachusetts. If Harvard didn’t want you, maybe a private school would grant you admission and you could transfer in your sophomore year.

As much as you wanted to be far away from him, Massachusetts happened to have all the top schools that were realistic for you. You applied to Northeastern and Boston college. Neither were the ivy leagues you were hoping to attend but private institutions nonetheless. You sent in your applications for early action, praying you would get in and get to leave Australia behind. You were suffocating here.

Luckily for you, your acceptance letter came from Northeastern and you were quick to accept. You were waitlisted for Boston College and accepted to both Australian unis but you had decided where you were going. You toured Northeastern in the spring with your mom, you both absolutely fell in love with the campus. It was right in the middle of the city, across from the train system making getting around easy. You got to meet the girl you would be dorming with, Avianca; Avi for short. She was very bubbly and sweet, and very opinionated. She had grown up in Boston with her mother and two brothers. Her mother was unable to join the two of you so you went out to brunch with her and your mother. After that your mother left the two of you to go shopping for some things for your dorm.

“Are you excited to start in the fall?” Avi asked as the two of you browsed targets room decor.

You shrug and hug yourself, “I guess.”

Avi stops to look at a large beige throw pillow, “that's all? Aren’t you excited for the new experiences?” She looks up at you, “the boys?”

You play with the tag of the pillow in her hand. “I-” you hesitate and she picks up on it.

“Unless…” she smirks up at you, “you have a boyfriend?”

You pause. Could you even consider Jake a boyfriend? He never officially asked you to be his girlfriend but the two of you did way more than what other couples do in a lifetime. As if reading your mind Avi hums.

“Ahh, I see. It’s complicated?”

“I guess you could call it that.”

She tosses the pillow into the cart, “is it over?”

You continue walking down the aisle as you think back to Jake, this would be your first time ever saying what went down outloud. You were hesitant to tell your parents because of how close they were with Jake, you didn't want this affecting their perspective of him but Avi doesn’t know him, she’s unbiased. And that’s how you found yourself crying inside a target finally opening up about just how hurt you were by Jake’s actions.

Once you finish telling her your story from start to finish, Avi is embracing you. “Jake is a dick. You did not deserve that. I’m so sorry.”

Avi spends the rest of your time together comforting you. She lets you rant about Jake and gives you her two cents every now and then. You felt a little embarrassed at how much you were crying but Avi was quick to reassure you letting you know it was actually time you let it all out. The two of you exchanged numbers before parting ways again and she made you promise to keep in touch with her while you were back home in Australia until your move-in day and that's exactly what you did.

After flying back home you slowly started to rebuild. Jake isn’t a part of your life anymore and you can’t continue to wallow in your self pity. It was time to let go and move on, you would be starting your freshman year of college in four months. You don’t want to be stuck up on someone who wasn’t even thinking of you.

You took the time to learn new hobbies as you didn’t have volleyball to lean on. You took up baking for a bit before getting bored and moving on to painting. You learned how to knit and made yourself some mittens and a scarf to prepare for the cold Boston weather. You even took up photography, opening up a private instagram account to post your pictures as you traveled around Europe during June. It was a graduation gift from your father, you had stops in France, Wales, Germany and Spain. You spent a month traveling before heading back south.

You flew to New Zealand before officially going home to explore the mountains, it was a nice reset. Jake had promised to visit with you but it never happened and you weren’t putting things on hold for him anymore. You would facetime with Avi every night, brainstorming ideas for your room and your plans for welcome week. She had no intention of staying in your dorm that first week before classes started.

At first you were hesitant, going to raves and frat parties meant the inevitable. The possibility of running into Jake would be significantly higher and if you didn’t run into him there was still the fact that you would be approached by some man before the night was over. You had expressed to Avi how you couldn’t see yourself entering a relationship anytime soon. You had yet to fully heal from Jake and the thought of being that vulnerable again terrified you.

She only listened before reminding you that you didn’t have to date every guy that said hi. Some below the belt touching and harmless flirting never hurt anyone. She went on to ramble about how you’re entering your prime and have an insanely hot aussie accent that could help you secure any guy you wanted. You zoned out once she started asking you if you could moan for her so she could take pointers.

Your parents could see the shift in you and it brought them relief, they felt more at ease to send you abroad now that you were in a better mental headspace. You left two weeks before classes started to move in and get accustomed to the new environment. Your parents came to help you and Avi move in before leaving to go back home.

It’s now nighttime and you’ve just officially finished decorating.

“So, there’s this rave at slackers tonight, wanna go?”

You turn to look at Avi from your bed as she sits at her desk organizing her makeup. You snort, “as if I have a choice.” She looks up at you grinning.

“Glad you’re aware! Now get up and go shower, you’re all sweaty and doors close at 8!”

You roll your eyes but listen to her nonetheless. You stumble out of your bed and walk towards your closet to try and brainstorm what to wear. “Is there a theme?”

Avi hums, “yeah early 2000’s.”

You scan your wardrobe to see what you can find before deciding upon a baby blue butterfly top you had gotten off of amazon and a mini cargo skirt. For shoes you settle on some old Nike air forces knowing they would be demolished by the end of the night. You head over to the bathroom and begin getting ready. You try not to take too long, making sure to properly wash your body but you don’t take the time to exfoliate. Once drying off and exiting you make quick work of getting dressed and sitting beside Avi to start your makeup while she works on styling her hair. You don’t take too long for your makeup, choosing to opt for a more natural look and go for a half up/half down hairstyle with two strands out in the front.

Once you’re both ready, you grab your student ID’s and bags before heading out and start the five minute walk to the T. As you’re waiting for the train to arrive you take pictures with Avi to post and make a new story post of the sun setting. Once the green train arrives the two of you hop on and head towards the party venue.

By the time you arrive, the line is still relatively short and you’re inside in under thirty minutes. You scan your surroundings, the club lights are too bright and strobing too fast, just asking for someone to seize. The dance floor is crowded with people and there are drunks stumbling all around you.

Avi spins on her heels and smirks up at you, “what are the odds you get a stranger to buy us drinks?”

You quickly shake your head. “Zero! I’ve never done this before Avi!”

She shrugs, “so? Have you seen yourself? You look so hot, ____.” She makes it a point to slap your ass. “You have all the right assets on display, you just have to use them to your advantage.”

You gasp and rub your sore bottom, “okay one, never do that again. Two, why don’t you get a guy to buy us drinks? Put those tits to good use.”

She smirks. “I was already planning on it. But seriously, I promised to help you get over Jake and what better way to do that than getting under a new man?”

You groan. “Sleeping around isn’t going to help me get over Jake.”

“What makes you think he hasn’t done the same?” You furrow your brows at her and she scoffs. “Come on ____, he’s been in the city for a year while you were on the other side of the world. Jake is hot and I’m sure he knows it just like other girls in Connecticut probably do too, what would really have stopped him from getting his dick wet?”

You stay silent, deep down you know Avi is just being truthful and realistic. Jake had no obligations to you and no one to get in his way of whoring around if he really wanted to as much as it may hurt you.

“Okay.”

Avi’s brows shoot up in shock. “Okay? That’s really all it took?”

You nod firmly, “I’m done putting my life on pause for him. Besides, a little flirting never hurt anyone, right?”

Avi squeals and claps her hands together. “Perfect! I better see you throwing it back on some guy before the night ends!”

The two of you decide to part ways to find your prey of the night. Avi makes quick work of heading to the bar where the older men are to see if she can score some drinks while you idle around the dance floor, scoping out the faces to see who you wanted to make a move on. Before you can set your sights on someone, you feel the warmth of a body behind you though they’re not quite pressing against you yet. It doesn’t feel bad, and neither do the fingertips ghosting along the curve of your waist. You press into their touch a little more. The tentative fingers at your waist get more firm once they realize you’re open to their touch.

“Wanna dance?,” the body behind you asks, lips brushing the shell of your ear. It makes chills prick at your skin. You bite your lip to keep from smiling at the sensation. Your hand goes to cover the bigger one on your waist. You’ve missed being this close to someone.

You intentionally keep the touch constant when you turn around in their hold. Their palm slides along your body till it’s settling on your lower back just above the swell of your ass.

When you look up, your reply gets caught in your throat.

The owner of the warm body behind you is handsome, strikingly so. Tall, strong. Smile dreamy with dimples, and eyes dark. He gives you a soft grin accompanied by an encouraging nod, wanting you to say what you can’t seem to get out.

“Uh–” you sputter with a wince, before clearing your throat, “Where’s the fun in asking?”

You can’t hear his laugh over the music, but you can tell he’s amused by the way his chest rumbles, and how his eyes curl. The hand at the base of your spine moves to your hip, squeezing gently.

His other hand is moving, too, and you track it until it’s tucking some hair behind your ear. You go still and flush when he leans down to your ear again. “If you insist,” he tells you. You don’t get to respond before he’s forcefully turning you back around and pressing his body into yours. The song changes to an upbeat caribbean mix and the sexy stranger has you bent over, one hand in your hair as a makeshift ponytail and the other resting at the base of your spine as he sensually moves his hips to the beat of the song, practically humping you. You can feel yourself getting wet as his clothed dick brushes against your vagina, your miniskirt and thong barely hiding anything. You begin whining your waist to meet his thrust giving those around you a show. Soon, a circle forms around the two of you as people turn on their camera to film. When the song finally ends the two of you separate and the crowd disperses. Some guys stick around though, hoping you would part form your dance partner and give them a chance to feel you humping them but you never get the chance. The stranger leans down to your ear, “I’m Jungwon.”

You smirk and respond with your name. “I’m, ____. Clearly you’ve done this before Jungwon.”

Jungwon briefly looks surprised, eyes widening like a child before he’s laughing. “Ah,” he muses, guiding your arms to drape over his shoulders, your hands interlocking behind his neck. His hands do the same around your waist as he pulls you a little closer. “Perhaps but clearly the same goes for you.”

There’s a flutter in your tummy that you haven’t felt in months and it’s exciting. Makes you giddy as you blink up at him sultrily.

“Are you complaining?” you ask him.

He adamantly shakes his head, ��Of course not, as long as you’re not in a relationship no complaints over here.”

You cock your head to the side. “I don’t do relationships.” You wait a beat before asking, “Is that what you’re looking for?”

He looks up like he’s thinking. Then he’s shrugging. Crowding your space, cheek brushing yours as he talks into your ear again, he answers, “I want what you want.”

Jungwon doesn’t move out of your space like the times he did before, instead pulling you into him a bit more, making your space his space too. Lips brush against the corner of your jaw, just below your ear. Teasing, yet sure.

“I want to forget–” Your hand twines into the hair at the nape of his neck when he nips softly at your earlobe, making you gasp quietly, interrupting yourself. “–about someone.”

He lets out a smug sound of understanding. “That sounds doable,” you hear him say, before he purrs confidently, “Let me help you.”

Just as the two of you lean in for a kiss you’re interrupted by the calling of your name.

“____!” You pull away to find Avi stumbling towards you. When she’s close enough, she grips onto your shoulders to try and keep herself up. “H-help.”

You look at her in worry and try to balance her but she’s quickly becoming more and more unstable, her words slurring and her body becoming limp. You begin to panic, “Avi? Avi! You’re scaring me, what's wrong!?”

Jungwon steps in to help you hold her up. “Shit, I think she was laced.”

Your eyes dart to his in worry, sensing your panic Jungwon tries to calm you down. “There’s a hospital nearby. I’ll call an uber and we can head over.”

You nod, trying to steady yourself for Avi’s sake. The two of you make quick work of ushering her out of the building and outside to help her get some fresh air while Jungwon orders the uber. It’s there in seven minutes and the three of you rush to the nearest children's hospital.

Once you arrive, Jungwon hands over Avi to the medical staff while you try and give them the information they need to admit her. She’s rushed into the emergency bay while you and Jungwon are told to sit in the waiting area while they pump her stomach.

“It’s going to be okay. We got her here in time, I’m sure the doctors have everything under control.” Jungwon says as he takes a seat beside you. It’s clear you’re distraught and don’t know what to do but it’s also clear that what you need right now is not only reassurance but a friend. Your shoulders slump instantly and you nod despondently. Cautiously Jungwon entwines your hands together, lacing your fingers with his.

He shifts, leaning his body into you allowing you to cuddle into him for some warmth, your lack of proper clothing clearly not helping. You bite your lip to keep in the tears before resting your head against his shoulder. You close your eyes, basking in his comforting presence, letting both his words and presence wash over you and ease your worries.

The both of you sit in silence for long, drawn-out moments before you finally speak up. “I’m sorry, this probably isn’t how you wanted to spend your night.” You pull away and wrap your arms around yourself, “you can go if you’d like.”

Sensing your guilt and apprehension, Jungwon shakes his head softly and removes his bomber jacket to hand to you. You stare at it for a second before taking it and putting it on. “It definitely isn’t how I saw my night going but you clearly need a friend, it wouldn’t be right to leave you alone.”

You twiddle your fingers, “why are you being so nice to me?”

He purses his lips in thought, showcasing his dimples. “Like I said before, it’s clear you need a friend. You’re obviously going through something with a guy you probably really like and your friend is in the hospital after getting laced. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.”

You blink at him, embarrassed that he read you so easily. “I-” You cut yourself off and look away, feeling the tears start to well up. “I feel so lost and alone.”

Jungwon slowly reaches for you and brings you in for a hug, letting you cry into his chest. “I moved to this stupid city all by myself and now I miss my parents, I miss my home and worst of all I miss him. Avi is the only friend I have and I can’t help but feel like her being in this position is all my fault! She only wanted to go out to help me move on a-and we made this stupid bet about getting guys to buy us drinks and now she’s getting her stomach pumped!” You angrily rant to Jungwon, overwhelmed by the events that have transpired within the last twenty-four hours.

He listens, gently rubbing your back as you let it all out. “It’s normal to miss your life back at home, going to college is hard enough, let alone having to move to a different continent. I understand the guilt you’re feeling but I doubt Avi is mad at you for what happened, you weren’t the one who drugged her.”

You sniffle and wipe at your nose with the sleeve of his jacket, “I guess so.” You pull away from his wet chest to wipe away the remainder of your tears. “I’m scared.” You softly admit.

“Of what?”

“Being alone again.” You whisper, you can’t help but wonder if Jungwon will stay after this, if Avi will be okay enough to stay for the semester. You pray you don’t lose either of them.

“Good thing I don’t plan on leaving.” Jungwon offers with a soft smile, you look up at him gratefully and wrap him in a hug.

“Thank you.”

The two of you spend the rest of the night in the ER, the doctors eventually come to fetch the two of you to join Avi, letting you know that she’ll be just fine and able to return home the following day. Jungwon stays true to his word and doesn’t leave your side until it’s time for Avi to get discharged. The three of you clamber into the back of the Uber Jungwon ordered and drive to your dorms. While sitting at Avi’s bedside the three of you began conversing about anything and everything. You found out that Jungwon was also a freshman at Northeastern majoring in Biochem. On top of that, he was living in the same dorm as you-his room only two doors down.

Once you arrive, you bid farewell to Jungwon with the promise of grabbing breakfast with him and his roommate Beomgyu the following morning before heading into your own room.

“He’s cute.” Avi says as she gently takes a seat on the couch.

“Jungwon?”

She hums, “sweet kid.”

You nod absentmindedly as you gather your bathroom supplies. “I guess so.”

Friday November 15th - present day

Three months have passed since the beginning of the semester and it’s safe to say that you’re beginning to feel at home in the city. Jungwon stayed true to his word and didn’t leave you. In fact, there was never a moment where you were alone. If you weren’t at Snell studying with Jungwon, you were at your dorm watching shows with Avi or at the dining hall grabbing lunch with Beomgyu.

The four of you have truly become inseparable these past few months and you’re so grateful for the support they provide. It’s nice to finally have other people to rely on rather than having to rawdog life alone. When the four of you aren’t absolutely swamped with homework you grab dinner together at one of the dining halls before going back to your place for a movie night. Tonight happens to be one of those nights.

“Wollastans hands down has the best snack options,” Beomgyu says as he empties the grocery bag onto your living room floor. Avi hums and takes a seat beside him on the floor in front of the TV.

“That they do.” She reaches for the pack of gummy bears and offers some to Jungwon who’s laid on your couch arms wide open as he smiles up at you waiting for you to take your rightful seat in between his legs. He takes a handful of gummies and thanks Avi before patting his chest.

“Hurry up princess, I'm getting cold.”

You scoff and roll your eyes before kicking off your shoes and making your way across the threshold to plop down in between his arms. “What are we watching tonight?” You ask. Jungwon taps your cheek silently asking you to open up, you do and he plops a cherry bear into your mouth.

“Interview with the vampires.” Beomgyu replies as he ques up the show. Once it’s ready to go Avi hands you a blanket to cover yourself with before she cuddles up to Beomgyu, the two of them whispering to each other lost in their own world. You smile softly at them, you and Jungwon have a running bet of how long it was going to take before the two crack and just get together. They’re adamant that they’re just friends but it’s clear as day feelings are there.

You feel Jungwon wrap his arm securely around your waist before he places a soft kiss atop your head.

As touchy and flirty as the two of you are, you’re just friends. Once Jungwon made it clear he was here to stay you found the confidence to open up to him about Jake. You told him about the ghosting, the sex, how much he meant to you and how you don’t think you’ll ever love someone the way you love him or even be ready for a relationship anytime soon. Jungwon understood and made his intentions clear, he just wanted to make you happy. If that meant putting his feelings on the backburner and doing things your way so be it.

It wasn’t a fair deal at all, Jungwon devoted almost all of his time to you, he would walk you home from your late lectures, wake up at five am to run to Tatte to buy you breakfast before your eight ams, turn down girls who approached him in hopes that when you were ready you’d come running to him.

He did it all without complaint, he loves you fully and without restraint. He’s loved you from the start, he loves you the way you wish Jake had.

You can’t help but think about where Jake would fit in your life now. You’ve changed and made sure your new life left no room for him, you tailored your life to make sure Jake could never waltz back in and destroy all the progress you’ve made. You don’t think he’ll fit in with your group of friends anyhow. As this year has come and passed, you replaced Jake with Jungwon. It’s hard to picture Jake falling back into the role of being your only friend in your life.

You have Avi, Beomgyu and Jungwon. They look out for you and make sure to take care of you. It’s a reciprocal friendship, they’re pouring into you just as much as you pour into them if not more.

You snap out of your thoughts when Jungwon softly pinches your side. “You zoned out, are you okay?”

You nod your head and play with his fingers under the blanket. “Just thinking about how lucky I am to have you in my life.”

You feel him take in a sharp breath before pulling you into him even more. “I’m the lucky one.”

___

As the movie night comes to a close, you sit up from Jungwon’s hold to stretch, your friends following your actions. You reach for your phone to check the time to see if you can squeeze in one more movie.

“It’s only nine, we can start another show or watch a movie.” You offer

Jungwon wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you in closer to his side, “I don’t have anything to do tomorrow, I’m down.”

Avi stands up and clears her throat. “Actually can we go out?”

Beomgyu looks up at her questioningly, “wanna ride the blue bikes around campus?”

She shakes her head, “a Harvard frat is hosting to-”

“Absolutely not.” You cut her off. You haven’t been to another college party since the one at slackers, the sight of Avi getting drugged permanently put you off from the party scene.

She huffs, “why not!?”

You give her an incredulous look. “Are you being serious? You were drugged the last time we went to one, I don’t want to see you in the ER again!”

The boys can sense the growing tension, Beomgyu stands and tries to calm Avi and Jungwon soothingly rubs your arms.

“It was one time! I won’t drink this time!”

“I still don’t feel comfortable.” She throws her hands up and turns to pout at Beomgyu knowing it’s a weakness of his.

“Yah! this is between the two of you, stop pouting at me.” He says in response before turning on his heel to head to your kitchen to raid it for some more food. You huff and turn to Jungwon to have him plead your case but he only shakes his head, he knows better than to get in between the two of you.

“Uh-uh, No. You two figure this out.”

He stands from his seat beside you to go join Beomgyu in the kitchen.

Avi takes Jungwon’s seat and grabs your hands. “I promise I won’t drink! I know better now and the guys will be there! You know they won’t let anything happen to either of us! Come on, _____ please!”

You sigh and shift your attention to the boys goofing off in your kitchen, Avi is right. The boys wouldn’t let the two of you out of their sight, especially Jungwon as he was there for the last party the three of you had attended.

“Fine.”

The living room of the frat is completely packed, people are scattered around the home, either dancing in a large group in the middle of the living room, relaxing in the kitchen with drinks in hand or smoking blunts upstairs. Something that definitely doesn’t go unnoticed by you is the hordes of couples pressed up against each other and the walls, making out and grinding against each other for the entirety of the house to see without a single care in the world.

You turn to face your friends, “an hour tops then we’re out of here!”

Avi playfully rolls her eyes, “aye aye captain.”

She grabs Beomgyu’s hand and they walk into the midst of the party leaving you with Jungwon. “Want to grab a drink with me?”

You pull your attention away from a guy who’s completely wasted and forcing another to a dance off to Jungwon who’s standing next to you. You shrug, “sure.”

You both exit from the hallway where your little group had clustered and enter the kitchen to grab a drink. Jungwon hands you a water bottle but you nudge away his hand and reach for a red solo cup to pour yourself a shot of tequila. You knock it back and move down the counter to pour yourself some of the punch.

Jungwon watches you in worry as you pucker your lips at the taste of the punch, “I thought no drinking tonight.”

“No drinking for Avi. Plus it’s for the nerves.”

He nods at you and takes a sip of his water. “What has you on edge?”

You look around the kitchen sadly before confessing what’s weighing on your heart. “It feels so odd being here, it was my dream for so long and now it’s just some other school down the block.”

Jungwon hums before scanning the area himself. “Do you regret choosing Northeastern?”

You sigh, “I..” you trail off to really think through your answer. Northeastern has become more than a safety net. You have a family here because of the school, people who love and care about you without restraint and would be crushed if you up and left them. You also can’t help but feel as though there’s a double meaning to Jungwon’s question. “I don’t think so, more so mourning what could have been here.”

Jungwon nods, “are you still thinking about transferring?”

You shake your head. “No, I think it’s time to close the chapter on this time period in my life.”

Jungwon stills beside you, to him, Harvard = Jake and the life you lived with him back at home in Australia, does this mean this is finally the end of you and that dirtbag?

You smile and place your arms around Jungwon’s neck. “I think it's time to start focusing on what I have here at Northeastern…with you.”

Jungwon swears he feels his heart stop at your words, are you finally going to give him a chance? His eyes suddenly gleam with mischief as he rests his hands on your waist and squeezes you a little tighter and yanks you towards him, bodies just centimeters apart as you crash into his chest, all up in each other’s personal space.

Your eyes widen in complete surprise.

“Are you saying what I think you are?” He teases with a stupidly lowered tone, a smug grin decorating his face.

You ignore the electricity shooting through you, rolling your eyes and playfully sneer at him. “Don’t be smug, I can still change my mind, you know.” You force space between you two and try removing his hands from your waist but his grip transforms into an iron lock.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

He pulls you in close and leans in to whisper, “yeah? Then who's gonna do this?” He doesn’t wait for you to question him, leaning in right away to place his lips on yours and cage you between him and the kitchen counter. Your eyes blow out, taken by surprise until you find yourself quickly melting into the kiss, hands gripping his shoulders tighter. Jungwon can’t help himself from opening up his mouth to catch more of yours, lips sensually kissing yours in a slow, unhurried pace.

You instantly love the way he kisses, completely taken by his pillowy, delicate lips.

Jungwon doesn’t care if your lipstick smudges onto him or how brash the public display of affection seems; all he cares about is the soft feeling of your lips against his own for the first time and the fact that you’re willing to be his.

He knows it’s going to stay on his mind for weeks.

You’re beginning to get lost until he disconnected your mouths, only looking at each other with overwhelming feelings and shimmering eyes that depict how nervous you are for this new step.

“Wanna dance with me?” You shyly ask.

Jungwon smirks, his mind recalling the first time he ever met you at that slackers party. “Where’s the fun in asking?” He mocks, you roll your eyes at the familiarity of his words before dragging him out of the kitchen and into the living room to dance away your inhibitions.

The two of you make your way to the center of the room knowing once you start dancing, all eyes will be on you. Jungwon squeezes your hips one last time before turning you around and helping you slowly grind down on him to the beat of the song, once you have a steady rhythm going on he begins to buck his hips to meet your pace.

Just like that night at slackers, you’re bent over whining your waist against Jungwon and catching the attention of those around you. Jungwon sneaks one arm around your front and gently squeezes at your right boob under your crop top, getting turned on by how your butt applies the right amount of pressure to his cock every time you bounce off of it and the lustful gaze of those watching. He could cum in his pants. You have to bite your bottom lip to keep from moaning.

As the song comes to a close Jungwon releases you and places a kiss against the base of your neck, “I’m going to grab us drinks, stay right here baby.”

You nod and let him remove himself from you completely to go get the two of you drinks, you turn around to see if you could potentially find Beomgyu or Avi and spend some time with them until he returns but before you even get the chance to fully scope out the area you feel someone grab onto your wrist and spin you around.

You’re about to tell the stranger off but your words get caught in your throat when you turn around to find a tall blonde man dressed in all black staring you down. You exhale sharply at the way he seemingly undresses you with his eyes.

“You sure know how to put on a show, princess.”

You feel your face heat up a bit at the use of pet name and being called out on the way you were just dry humping Jungwon. Not knowing what to say you wait for him to continue. Picking up on that, the stranger continues, “I’m Jay, what’s your name darling?”

“____” you breathlessly let out.

He hums and pulls you in closer, “sexy name for a sexy girl, who’s that guy? Your boyfriend?”

His hands travel down to grab at your ass over your leggings and you have a feeling that even if you were taken, Jay wouldn’t care.

You bite down a moan at the way he caresses your ass, taking turns between rolling the flesh and pinching it every now and then. He lands a sharp slap to your bottom when you don’t answer, his patience running thin. “Answer me princess.”

You shake your head, “n-no I’m si-”

Before you can finish your statement Jay gets ripped away from you by another male who huffs out in playful annoyance. “C’mon mate, it’s my birthday and you’re ditching me for some action?”

This time, your blood truly runs cold. Standing in front of you in all his glory for the first time in a year and three months is Sim Jaeyun. His eyes sweep over to you and the smile that was just gracing his face begins to slowly fall. Your eyes greedily take him in. You notice he’s dyed his hair back to black and grown it out a bit, parting it in the middle like you used to do for him during your walk to school. His shoulders also seem a bit wider, did he start working out? You even note his style has changed, gone are the tight skinny jeans and random hoodies. He’s dressed in wide legend pants paired with a simple white tee tucked in and Jordans on his feet.

“____.” He breathlessly lets out.

Hearing him call out to you breaks your heart, after all this time you thought you would be angry at him for what he did. Swearing to Avi that if you ever ran into him you were going to rip him a new one, maybe even slap him for having the audacity to hurt you the way he did. But now that you’ve been graced with the opportunity all you feel is a deep sadness, all your anger gone in that instant.

You see Jay’s eyes bug out of his head as he looks between the two of you. “She’s ____?”

Your eyes flicker over to Jay as you make the assumption Jake must have told him all about the two of you. Jake reaches a hand out to grab yours but you instantly jerk away from his touch. He doesn’t deserve it, your mind screams at you.

“Don’t.” You grit out, fighting back the tears.

Jake’s face falls even more at the malice in the simple word, heart breaking at how you avoid his touch but respects it nonetheless.

“Please, let me just ex-”

You don’t let him finish before you’re spinning on your heel and bolting out of the party. You knock into a few partygoers, the alcohol finally taking its effect. You hear muffled shouts of your name as you push past people to make it outside to the lawn. In your daze you don’t see your friends running after you.

You stumble out of the party and onto the lawn. The front of the frat house is nearly empty, save for you and a couple that’s making out on the grass. You stagger towards a bush when the overwhelming feeling of vomiting consumes you. Your stomach contracts violently and all the liquor you had consumed comes back up splattering the bushes.

“____!” You hear Jungwon call out your name before he’s kneeling beside you and holding your hair back.

You heave again and once more the contents of your stomach spray the ground. You sink to your knees and retch until only clear liquid is coming up. Your throat feels sore from the stomach acid that is layering it and your mouth tastes of vomit.

Avi kneels beside you and rubs your back soothingly as Beomgyu stands protectively in front of you, shielding you from Jake’s view as he tries to grab your attention, constantly calling your name.

“It’s alright,” you hear Jungwon whisper as you feel your stomach begin to settle. He slowly ties your hair up for you using a hair tie Avi offers and once he’s sure Avi has a steady grip on you, he’s standing to square up to Jake.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Jungwon asks. Beomgyu’s eyes widen the tiniest fraction at his roommate's question, knowing damn well he can’t fight and Jungown might be alone in this one.

Jake scoffs and steps up to Jungwon, his own annoyance at its peak. “I’m her best friend who the fuck do you think you are?”

Your friends all still at the realization of who exactly the stranger is. Avi is the first to react, scoffing at his audacity from beside you as she looks up at him.

“You know you got a lot of fucking nerve to even call yourself that. You’re the one who ghosted her, you’re the one who left. You don’t get to claim that title anymore.”

Jake falters at the harsh glare he’s receiving from your friends but he’s determined to speak to you.

“You don’t know shit.” Jay spits out from behind Jake knowing the true story as to why Jake did what he did. Albeit shitty, his friend had his reasons and he wasn’t going to let anyone shame him for the decisions he made as a kid fresh out of high school.

Beomgyu swears he sees red. “Watch it.” He says as he shoves at Jay’s chest. Jay, having none of it though, pushes back causing Jungwon and Jake to have to step in and separate their friends before things escalate.

Jake pulls his friend away and harshly whispers in his ear before Jay scoffs and walks away back into the party. Jake clears his throat and turns back to you and your friends who are all still glaring and making a protective front around you.

“Please, ____. I Just need one chance to explain myself.”

Jungwon opens his mouth to respond for you but you're quicker than him.

“No.” Your voice is firm, “you don’t get to hurt me the way you did and expect me to give you the courtesy of explaining why you chose to break my heart.”

From your seated position you can see the tears swimming in his eyes and it almost makes you crack. Almost. But you need to choose you for once. You need to stop throwing caution to the wind when it comes to Sim Jaeyun, he never once did that for you.

“You’re a year too late.”

Still determined and not deterred by your stance, Jake takes a cautious step forward, stopping when Jungwon deems he’s gotten too close and steps up as well to place a hand on Jake’s chest.

“I’m sorry, ____. I know I fucked everything up and-and that I don’t deserve another chance but please-” He chokes back a sob, “please just let me explain!” Avi rolls her eyes and helps you stand. “What good will that do? You’re right, you don’t deserve shit from her. Explaining why you’re a shitty person isn’t going to change anything.”

Although harsh, Avi is right. Hearing him out won’t change the fact that he no longer has a spot in your life, it won’t change the damage he’s caused, it won’t do anything.

“Let’s go guys.” You weekly let out, completely drained and craving the warmth of your bed.

“____!”

You ignore Jake’s call of your name and leave with your friends surrounding you, making it impossible for him to see you anymore. Your heart seizes in your chest at the desperation in his voice as he calls out to you but you keep walking, you leave him behind like he did to you all those months ago.

[November 15th, 12:35 AM]

[jake]: can we please talk?

[jake]: i’m sorry

[jake]: please

[jake]: _____?

[November 16th, 2:48 PM]

[jake]: i know you don’t want to talk to me but please let me explain ____

[jake]: i’ll leave you alone after, i swear

[November 17th, 6:15 PM]

[jake]: i’ll be at caffe nero near newbury tomorrow at 2 until they close

[jake]: please come and let me explain, i’ll leave you alone regardless of what you decide.

Jake stares down at his phone as he hits send, over the past two days he’s been sending you text messages praying you’ll respond but each one has been left on delivered. He doesn’t know if you’ve read them or even blocked him.

He tosses his phone aside and drops down on his hard dorm bed staring up at his ceiling wondering why he let things get so bad. He thought he was making the right decision for the both of you, thought he was doing right by you by leaving you alone.

Falling in love takes courage he doesn't possess at the time. You never stood a chance and it's little wonder why you felt so cheated.

Leading up to his departure from Australia everything was perfect, it was a dream. He had the girl of his dreams, a scholarship to the school of his dreams and for once- a supportive family backing every decision he made. It was new, it was different. It was scary. Jake grew up having to fight for his parents attention and had to work for their love, it was conditional, he had to be perfect. Being given it so freely and easily by you came as a shock.

He knew just how much you loved him, how much you had sacrificed over the years for him, he doesn’t deserve it now and he sure as hell didn’t think he deserved it back then. How could he love you if he barely understood how it worked? He had such a twisted view on love. At the time he thought it came with conditions, that he couldn’t love or be loved without conditions. That it was only a matter of time before the hammer dropped on your changing relationship and you began expecting more from him as a boyfriend, more that he couldn’t give.

Reading the letter was what really did it for him.

Of course he didn’t listen to you when you told him to read it once he was on the plane. He waited until you fell asleep and reached into the drawer to retrieve the letter and began reading it. Jake read it over and over again until he had it memorized, so much so that he still has it memorized to this day. He left you with the original but wrote it down on a napkin on the plane when he realized how big of a mistake it was to leave it. He sits up to walk over to his desk and retrieve his written version of the letter and begins to read it once again.

Dear Jake, my sweet angel boy,

I should have told you this right after prom: that there's this special love that I have deep within my heart. That love is only for you. It is far greater than this world. I wish I could show you how much you really mean to me. If I could only let you feel how much I really do love you in a kiss or a hug, you would begin to feel the love that I have for you.

If I could describe the love that I have for you and use lyrics of love songs or even the sonnets of Shakespeare, it would still be impossible, because the love that I love for you cannot be put into words. You've had my love from the day we met, and you will have it forever. As time goes by, my heart and love for you will keep growing stronger, brighter, and bigger.

Call me your love from this day forward. Although we have two different minds, and souls, we have one and the same beautiful heart. My love for you is unconditional. Please don’t forget that.

I love you with all my heart, body, and soul. I will never stop loving you. You are my life, my world, and everything to me. Distance may keep us apart for a short while but you will always and forever be embedded deep within my heart.

My beautiful love, you are my world and you have been since the first time I saw you. I felt love the first time I looked at you all those years ago in your backyard, and my world became a beautiful place to live in. I often ask myself, what in the world would I do without you now? I hope to never find out the answer to that question.

I’m writing you this letter to tell you how much you mean to me, and to thank you for coming into my life. You are something I never thought could exist for me. You are the best thing that has ever happened in my life, and I don't regret telling you how I feel.

I love you Sim Jaeyun, today, tomorrow, forever.

Tears swim in Jake’s eyes as he places the letter back in the depths of his desk. He wishes so badly that he didn’t run, that he stayed and talked through his fears with you but he was too much of a coward and knew deep down that you deserved better. He never deserved you to begin with and he was a fool for ever thinking a broken boy like him could ever love someone as amazing as you.

After leaving, Jake found it hard to settle into his new routine. He missed your presence every single day, finding it harder and harder to ignore your text messages asking how he was, if he had eaten, if he liked the campus.

By the time Jake had realized how big of a mistake he made and just how much of an ass he looked like, he couldn’t take it back. The damage had quite literally been done and it seemed you were moving on. The text messages stopped coming in, he was removed from your close friends and his mother no longer had any updates for him when he would ask. Apparently, you had stopped going over and it was rare to catch glimpses of you as the school year progressed.

When he had heard from his brother that you were no longer on the volleyball team he wanted to reach out and ask what happened. You loved the sport too much to just quit, especially during your senior year but Jake had a feeling he was the last person you wanted to hear from.

His first semester at Yale was nothing like he expected it to be, everything was dull and lifeless. Every day was the same routine: wake up, shower and brush his teeth, get dressed and head to lectures before studying at the library until midnight because his roommate had a girl over.

He felt like he was slowly losing his sanity. As the end of his first semester came to a close and winter break was fastly approaching Jake decided he had had enough. Yale meant nothing if you weren’t in his life. He knew at that point you had probably sent in your college applications and were practically a shoe-in for Harvard so he did what he thought would bring him peace.

He sent in his transfer application before the end of the semester to be able to start in the spring and got his acceptance right before winter break. He didn’t tell his parents about the sudden decision, knowing they wouldn’t be happy with him but he was done living in his fear. It was what caused him to lose you and he would be damned if he let it happen again.

He eventually told them once everything was set and as expected he received an earful about his decision from his father before he realized how deadset his son was on this before backing down.

Once the spring semester started Jake could slowly feel his world start to mend. Everything seemed brighter at Harvard; the physics program was easier, the people were kinder, he had friends and his new roommate wasn’t an ass.

Jay and Jake clicked the second Jake rolled his suitcases into the new room. Jay took him under his wing and treated him like a little brother. It felt nice to have someone to rely on, sure Jay wasn’t you but he slowly became someone who meant the world to him and he looked up to. Eventually Jay introduced Jake to his friends Heeseung and Sunghoon and the four became an inseparable group. The four of them truly did everything together: they took all their gen ed classes together, they attended each other's sporting events and they would often go to frats together with Jake staying sober to take care of his friends.

The guys never pushed Jake to explore the women that approached him at parties knowing his heart belonged to you. They had heard him go on and on about you on several occasions and knew he only transferred to be close to you. They admired his determination to right his wrongdoings but were truthfully skeptical if it would work. They encouraged him to just text you, arguing the more time he let pass the harder it would be to win you back but Jake argued back that this was something that couldn’t be fixed over text.

The semester flew by and Jake was increasingly getting excited. Once he had submitted his last final exam he was on the first flight back home to Australia in June. He couldn’t wait for you to start school in the fall to talk to you and he was long overdue for a trip back home, two birds with one stone. However, when he made it back home to Brisbane his dreams were once again crushed. His mother informed him about your solo trip to Europe and how your parents had sent you away under the guise of it being a graduation gift but really it was out of fear of your declining mental health.

Jake was lost, he had heard nothing about your mental state as his mother insisted she knew nothing about your life anymore when he would inquire about you over the phone. It came as a shock when his mom sat him down to tell him about you being kicked off the volleyball team rather than you just leaving like he assumed, how you no longer attended study groups and even skip school now. What came as the biggest shock was hearing you didn’t get into Harvard. Jake felt absolutely disgusted with himself.

He had caused this, he was the reason behind your suffering and yet he had the audacity to show up here thinking you would welcome him back. He was right, he really doesn’t deserve you. Look at all the pain he’s caused you and what you’ve lost in the process.

He didn’t stick around much longer after that, He flew back to the states a week before you came back from New Zealand and became hell bent on leaving you alone. He owed you that much, some peace after bringing nothing but chaos into your life.

The rest of his summer was a haze, he spent it getting high or drunk with Heeseung and Jay. He didn’t tell his friends about what he had heard from back home, the guilt eating at him but he made it clear that there would be no Jake and ____. The two of you were officially done.

Heesung and Jay were obviously worried about their friend, they knew of the love the male held for you and to see him so torn up over it that he was drinking all his inhibitions away or smoking until he was numb was alarming but they didn’t stop him.

They did however intervene towards the end of the summer when Sunghoon came back from Korea and Jake insisted the group went to an end of summer kickback. They had never seen Jake so out of it, he got so crossfaded that he passed out at the party and was unresponsive for twenty minutes.

Emergency services had to be called and the party got shut down. It was safe to say his friends were done with his shit and sat him down and forced him to talk about his emotions because they would be damned if they watched him continue down this path and eventually die from it.

That night was an eye opener for Jake and he swore he would get better, promised he would stop holding things in and be more upfront about how he was feeling. Seeing Jay cry over the possibility of his death was what really put things into perspective for him, the thought of you also possibly being torn over him dying got him to take his sobriety seriously.

His friends held him accountable as the new school year began, they cut back on frat parties, made the effort to not drink as much around him and even began being more open with each other due to Jay’s claims of “vulnerability breeds vulnerability.”

It was safe to say that Jake was finally beginning to heal. He knew sooner or later he would have to face the consequences of his actions and he was fully prepared to do so, just not so soon. It was Sunghoon’s idea to go to the frat at Kappa Alpha Theta for his birthday. Jake was fully prepared to say no and spend the day alone. This would be his second birthday spent away from you and he wanted the privacy to read through old birthday paragraphs you’ve sent him over the years and stare at the polaroids he took of you during your getaway to Sydney.

Jay and Heesung were having none of it though and insisted he needed to actually celebrate his birthday like Sunghoon said. Jake eventually caved when the three of them offered to stay sober with him. Seeing you at that party was devastating but seeing you in another man's arms was infuriating. Jake knew he had no right to be upset with you but it irked him that he was no longer the only male in your life. Jay had told him about the dance that took place before everything went to shit and Jake couldn’t help but wonder if you had fully moved on from him. Heeseung had to remind him that if you had, Jake couldn’t be upset with you, he had practically pushed you into Jungwon’s arms the second he decided to leave you behind in Australia.

“How long do you plan on staring at your phone?” Heeseung asks as he enters the younger male's room with Jay and Sunghoon trailing behind him.

Jake sighs and tosses the device to the side, “she still hasn’t responded.”

Sunghoon takes a seat beside Jake on the bed, “give her some space dude I’m sure seeing you at the party was the last thing she expected.”

Jay hums, “you did what you can. Give her space to decide what she wants.”

Jake heeds the advice of his friends. He’s inconvenienced you enough, leaving you alone to decide if you want to meet him is what you need now. He can only hope you do decide to hear him out.

“I don’t think you should go.”

You look up at Avi who’s standing above you on the couch staring down at your phone screen, contempt written all over her face. You gently sigh and lock your phone, letting it fall on the couch with a soft thud.

“I know.”

Ever since the party Jake has constantly been texting you. Avi was beyond annoyed with the male and his inability to- “leave you the fuck alone.” You would read them as they come in, unable to bring yourself to delete the messages like Beomgyu advised when you told him about them.

“Just block his number, ____.” Avi huffs, crossing her arms as she stares down at you. You look away and draw figure eights into the couch cushions as you think.

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

It’s silent for a beat, you think for a few seconds before shrugging. “I don’t know.”

Avi sighs and uncrosses her arms. “You’re being selfish.”

You stop drawing imaginary shapes on the couch and fix your eyes on Avi, waiting for her to continue.

“What about Jungwon? Have you stopped to consider what this would do to him if you let Jake just waltz his way back into your life?”

You purse your lips, you haven’t talked to the younger male since the party. He’s been reaching out as well, trying to gauge how you’re feeling with the sudden appearance of Jake but you’ve yet to open them let alone respond.

“I don’t k-”

Avi groans in annoyance, cutting you off. “-I swear if you say I don’t know one more time, ____! Can’t you see how bad Jake is for you? One appearance and a few text messages and look at you! You’re not talking to us anymore, you haven’t left your bed in almost two days! Jake is toxic, this isn’t healthy!”

For some reason you want to defend his name, want to call Avi out on being a bitch but you don’t. You know she’s being logical and Jake doesn’t deserve it so you keep quiet. When she realizes her approach may have been a bit too harsh she softens a bit and takes a seat beside you.

“I’m sorry, I just-.” She cuts herself off with a deep inhale. “Jake will never love you the way Jungwon has. It’s harsh but true. Maybe Jake did have his reasons but that doesn’t change the fact that his approach was wrong. He didn’t stop to consider how hurt you would be and that’s not okay. Do you really want to be with someone who can hurt you so easily?”

She gently pats your back before continuing knowing you won’t answer. “Jake is selfish, he’s only ever cared about himself and Jungwon has only cared about you. Don’t miss out on what could be a great love with Jungwon because you’re infatuated with the idea of being with Jake.”

With that, she gets up and leaves you to stew in your thoughts. She’s right, Jungwon was the one to stay and pick up the pieces. He was the one to show you that love didn’t have to be painful, he’s patient, kind and above all absolutely madly in love with you. He healed you from the pain Jake caused so why are you self sabotaging? Who’s to say Jake won’t hurt you again? That he even has a valid reason for stringing you along?

Your phone buzzes on the couch pulling you out of your reverie. You sigh, expecting to find another text from Jake as you pick it up to look at it only to find it’s not from him but rather the other male you’ve been ignoring.

[November 17th, 7:37 PM]

[jungwon]: do you want to grab lunch with me at tatte tmr at 2?

You want to scream at how fate is playing out, now you really have to choose.

[November 18th, 2:17 PM]

You march up the sidewalk to the sound of the steady patter of rain against the pavement that leads to the little cafe that’s tucked between the huge city buildings and hidden away from view with vines crawling up its side. You come to a stop in front of the door and take a deep breath to calm yourself before entering.

A part of you is scared you’ve made the wrong decision, you want to turn around and run to him but you know you need to see this through. People love to think about the what if’s: what if I chose the wrong major? What if we weren’t meant to ever meet? What if things had just gone the way I had so desperately wanted them to?

For you, it's what could have been that plagues your mind. To you, they’re far worse than what if’s because they were within your reach, the possibility of it coming to fruition so near but never close enough.

Jake has been your biggest what could have been, your almost. You try and reason that it’s okay that you picked him in the end, you need to know why. Why your love wasn’t enough, why the two of you aren’t together, why he was so quick to give up on the two of you.

You head inside and note the cafe isn’t big, it’s small and cozy. You spot Jake easily, he’s sitting near the back by a window facing you. He offers you a hesitant smile and wave of his hand. You exhale and slowly walk towards his booth and slide into the seat across from him. He meekly slides a drink across the table.

“I know you always liked lattes so I ordered one for you, I hope you don’t mind.”

You look down at the drink he had slid over to your side. It sits prettily in a white china cup, a leaf pattern in delicate milky foam among the pale brown. You wrap your fingers around it, enjoying the heat that spreads through your hands, grateful for the little warmth it provides. You take a hesitant sip, it’s bitter, but you recall telling Jake that only babies ask for hot chocolate.

Truth is, you had stopped drinking lattes once your friendship with him ended, the drink brought back too many unwanted memories. Memories of walking to the nearest cafe in Brisbane during finals season to get your coffee fix to stay up and finish studying were too apparent and hurt too much.

You take a bigger sip and this time let the warm liquid sit on your tongue for longer. You can't smell the bitterness of coffee beans in the warm air of the cafe and you feel safe and calm for just a moment. You allow yourself to get enveloped in the smell of baking bread and let your worries slip away for just a split second.

You place the cup back onto the table and slowly come back to reality. “Thank you.”

Jake shoots a shy smile your way and shrugs, “anything for you.”

You clear your throat and sit straighter, back on alert. You fiddle with the handle of your teacup not knowing what to say. Was this a mistake after all?

Jake, sensing your hesitance, decides to speak up first. “I’m sorry.”

“Why’d you do it?”

Jake studies your face for a good minute. He notes all the subtle changes about you, he picks up on your new hairstyle and the change in your clothes. He also picks up on the awkwardness that hangs in the air, things have never been this tense between the two of you and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

“I was scared that I wouldn’t be enough.” Jake looks away for a brief moment to collect his emotions and make his apology sound as sincere as it can be. “Ever since we were nine you’ve loved me and I was scared that I would mess things up, that once we made things official you would expect more from me, more that I didn’t know how to give and that ultimately I would be the cause of your unhappiness and all I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy, ____.”

“I had enough love for the both of us,” you softly confess, your heart breaking at the revelation of how he truly felt at the time. “Why didn’t you just say that? Why didn’t you let me love you?”

Jake gulps, tears stinging his eyes. “Because it didn’t seem like a fair trade. You don’t deserve someone broken. I thought love came with conditions and I didn’t want to drain you.”

You frown, growing annoyed with how he declares how you feel. It irks you how his brain works, how he assumed how you would react, how you would feel rather than giving you the opportunity to brave through the motions together.

“You don’t get to just make decisions on my half.”

Jake stiffly nods. “I know, I’m sorry.”

Your hands ball up into fists, anger beginning to consume your body. “I’m sorry isn’t enough! I was in love with you Jake! I was willing to go to the ends of the earth just to see you smile! Why didn’t you just talk to me? I would have loved you enough until you could love yourself! We could have made it work!”

Jake shakes his head, “no we couldn’t have.”

You glare at him, “why the fuck not!?”

This time Jake stays silent. Your eyes challenge him though, begging him to continue. To give you one good reason as to why he walked away but he gives you nothing, once again making you look like a fool for throwing caution to the wind and picking him.

Angry tears pool in your eyes as you forcefully stand from your seat and stare down at Jake. He looks up at you in surprise and shame. “Don’t you fucking get it? Even after all this time, I’m still in love with you!” You scoff as you see his eyes widening at your confession. “And yet you still can’t be honest with me, I feel so stupid. You make me stupid Sim Jaeyun.”

You don’t wait for him to respond before you’re bolting out of the coffee shop and out into the rain. It’s coming down harder now than it was when you left. You let out a string of curses at how soaked you’re getting and at how embarrassed you feel for confessing your love to Jake.

“____! ____, wait!”

You hear him calling out to you but you don’t stop, if anything it spurs you on to walk faster. The streets of Newbury are astonishingly empty due to the rain making it seemingly easy for a clean escape. What you fail to take into account though is Jake’s ability to sprint due to years of soccer.

He grabs onto your arm and spins you around to face him, determination written all over his face.

“I don’t deserve love, ____ I don’t!” Jake can feel his head spin with hurt, pain and daunting thoughts that have always plagued his self-deprecating mind. “That’s why I walked away. I can’t be loved, not by you, not my dad, not by anyone. I’m not worthy of it… I’m not a lovable person.”

“Oh my Gosh..” You place a hand over your mouth, emotions reaching a crescendo as you raise your voice. “Yes you are, Jake. Why do you think I’m standing here and telling you I love you? Why do you think I ever did any of the things I’ve done for you? Couldn’t you see it in the way I looked at you? In the way I touched you, the way I trusted you? You’re worth every fucking last bit of love I have.”

“You are the greatest love I have ever known, ____. It felt selfish to keep you all to myself knowing you could have had more! Knowing I was holding you back-”

You shake your head cutting him off, “I only ever wanted you. You were always more than enough Jake and I wish you had just told me! I would have reassured you each and every time! That’s what you do when you love someone!”

Jake suddenly closes the gap between you, gripping your face intimately as he looks into your frantic eyes. “I didn’t know how to talk through my emotions, ____. I thought it was better to deal with it alone and that caused me the best thing I’ve ever had. I’m still in love with you. My feelings are so strong I don’t know what to do with myself. I can’t think straight, I don’t think straight when it comes to you.” Your eyes stare back at his desperate ones, Jake trying so desperately hard to get you to understand. “I want to try again. I want to do it right this time and never let you go.”

Your lips quiver, taken aback by his warm touch and confession. Unable to resist the urge any longer, Jake slowly leans forward, one hand firmly grasping your waist, the other resting at the base of your neck, and presses your lips together. Lightning cracks overhead as the rain continues to pour down on the two of you, soaking through your clothes. But none of it matters. A warmth radiates through you as you continue kissing Jake as the world seems to melt around you. After a few moments, you slowly pull away, taking a small gasp of air. A sheepish smile creeps onto Jake’s face as you sigh against his lips, breaking eye contact for a moment before Jake plants another, shorter kiss on your lips.

“I love you, ____. I’m sorry for not trying hard enough before but please, give me another chance to love you the right way. The way you deserve. I’m not scared anymore.”

You sniffle and nod your head, “”Okay. Let’s try again. No hiding this time. I want all parts of you Jaeyun, even the parts that scare you.”

He smiles and pecks your lip one last time. “You have all of me.”

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satorusluver · 9 months

Text

Minors DNI

Sorry I just have too many smutty Gojo thoughts to keep them to myself. I'm not really sorry.

I thought a little too hard about how big Satoru's dick probably is and this happened lol.

Imagine Gojo Satoru teasing you for struggling to take all of his massive cock. I mean, look, the man is 6'3", I just know his dick is huge. With that kinda confidence, he's got more than just being the strongest sorcerer to be cocky about. His dick intimidatingly large -your eyes would probably bug out the first time he whipped it out, nearly smacking you in the face with it. It's the kind of cock you struggle to wrap your mouth around when you go down on him. Just a few minutes of sucking his dick and your jaw is gonna be aching. And taking him down there isn't much easier. It's a struggle, and you just know he thinks it's funny as fuck watching you try to take all of him.

Sometimes he likes to make you work for it. He'll lie back on the bed with his hands behind his head, looking up at you with a shit-eating grin while you take your sweet time trying to make him fit. Even with lube, if you're not used to being stretched out by him everyday, if he's been away awhile, then taking him hurts, at least at first. You gotta take it slow, one hand holding onto the base of his shaft and the other pressed flat against his chiseled chest as you carefully sink down onto the head of his cock, whimpering slightly from how the stretch stings a little.

"Aww, what's the matter, princess? Is it too big for you?" Satoru teases you.

"Sh-shut up," you shoot back, glaring at him as you slowly sink down onto him another inch.

"Oh, come on, you were begging for this cock a few minutes ago and now look at you, struggling to take more than a couple of inches."

His eyes flicker down to where his length is slowly disappearing into your pretty pussy.

"Looks like quite the tight fit...fuck, feels like quite the tight fit," he groans when you sink down another couple of inches.

Part of him just wants to grab your hips and buck up into you, forcing you to take every last inch all at once so he can finally feel all of your tight, wet heat wrapped around him. But he won't do that, no, he'll lie right there and let you take him at your own pace.

He sighs softly when he finally feels himself bottom out, finally feels the head of his cock meet the entrance to your womb. He's so long and thick that sitting on his cock like this damn near feels like you're being split in two. He doesn't even have to try to hit your g-spot, he fills you so entirely that happens on its own. You can feel it just sitting there, feel him pressing against it so effortlessly and it feels so good despite how uncomfortable the stretch is at first.

"There we go, I knew you could do it. Fuck, feel so fuckin' tight around me. You gonna be a good girl and ride me, yeah? I wanna see you make yourself cum on my dick."

#still working on the longer fic but these drabbles are easier to get out lol #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru smut #gojo smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #satoru smut #gojou satoru x reader #gojo imagine #satoru x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader

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star-girl69 · 5 months

Note

imagine the little family but reader gets hit on by one of the new campers and the rest of the camp is waiting to see ivy and clarisse reaction 🌚

I LOVE THIS OMMGGGGGG

no bc this is specifically so funny and dear to me bc imagine

you’re like sitting with ivy and playing in the sand on the beach having a fun time

and then hi harry from better than revenge in an alternate universe

clarisse has been so busy lately bc it’s the start of summer and there’s all these new campers and things

so you haven’t been around each other as much 💔

dumbass harry walks over to you and is like “it’s so sweet how you treat your younger sibling like your own”

and ivy is preening at the attention of this nice boy who quickly realizes the way to your heart is through ivy

you just think he’s nice and playing with ivy in the sand and making a killer sand castle tbh….

then he says smth a little flirty like a compliment but neither you or ivy think much of it at first

then he’s like “oh hey here you have some sand on your face” and leans so close to you to brush your cheek with his thumb

woah buddy 😟😟😟😟😟

ivy is like ok what the freak (she’s not supposed to swear) (let’s be real she still does)

bc like she’s not dumb….. she knows the only person who touches you like this is clarisse and yeah this guy is nice but she doesn’t like him THAT much

he doesn’t look that strong he can’t be her jungle gym she’s not liking it

you’re sitting there in shock and ivy is getting mad bc HE SHUFFLES CLOSER TO YOU

she climbs into your lap and starts SCREAMING bloody murder and kicking out wildly at harry

“Y/N I WANT TO GO Y/N I WANT TO GO I WANT TO GO I WANT TO GO”

so you pick her up and rush your little butts out of there and harry is trying to follow you bc THIS BITCH WILL NOT GIVE UP DAMN

and you’re looking over your shoulder like GO AWAY

after another second you think he’s gone so you set ivy down

you crouch down and you’re pretty sure she just didn’t like harry flirting w you but you just wanna make sure smth wasn’t actually wrong

“hey are you guys okay?”

“RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” is ivy’s war cry as she jumps on top of harry and starts screaming and kicking and hitting him

AND YOURE SCREAMING TOO BC WTF??????

“IVY YOU GET DOWN RIGHT NOW NO DESSERT FOR THREE DAYS I SWEAR”

eventually everyone kinda heads towards the commotion of this 10 year old screaming and attacking harry and you desperately trying to pull ivy off of him

that is when clarisse walks over

she just stares at the scene for a second in absolute shock

then harry finally pushes ivy off of him and she FLIES into you like he pushed her HARD bc he’s a BITCH

and you weren’t expecting it so you fall back w ivy in your arms

CLARISSE IS ABOUT TO GO INSANE

she runs over but harry is like NO NO NO MY CHANCES ARE RUINED

so he’s desperately trying to help you up and you’re like oh my god i think i’m gonna die

ivy starts attacking him like a feral dog again

“YOU- HURT- MY- Y/N- STUPID HEAD!!!!!!!”

you need a leash for her atp

but by the time clarisse makes it over to you she realizes what’s going on

she crouches down next to you and says ivy’s name really intimidatingly and ivy is like

“OMG HI CLARISSE I LITERALLY SAVED Y/N’S LIFE ARENT YOU PROUD OF ME”

and after she looks over you and sees that your find just a little shocked and very tired (motherhood is hard) she decides to glare at harry

“okay and what does that mean?”

“ok so we were playing in the sand and then harry comes over and he’s nice and he’s helping me build my sandcastle and then he starts TOUCHING Y/N and getting all CLOSE TO HER and i was like woah wait hold on what the freak so then i threw a tantrum so we would leave BUT HE KEPT FOLLOWING!!!!!!! I JUST WANTED HIM TO GO AWAY BC YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO TOUCHES Y/N LIKE THAT SO I ATTACKED HIM AND THEN HE PUSHED ME SO I ATTACKED HIM MORE BUT NOW YOURE HERE!!!!!!”

harry is just horrified bc that’s exactly what happened this child was just throwing a tantrum 5 minutes ago how is she so articulated

she’s just smart like that tho

clarisse is like “oh so you’re flirting with my girlfriend? are you dumb? literally everyone knows.”

harry just accepts defeat and mutters a few choice words under his breath and walks away

clarisse debates about punching him but decides that ivy has already done all of the work for her

ivy hugs clarisse so tight

“you are so amazing my little warrior you did such a great job protecting y/n i am so proud”

then you join the hug “yes you’re my little knight in shining armor but please remember violence is not always the answer”

ivy and clarisse share a look like “this crazy lady just be saying stuff”

“EXCUSE ME???? BC I KNOW YOU TWO DIDNT JUST LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE THAT-”

you try to actually make ivy skip dessert for a few days but she’s so adorable so you give it to her anyways

clarisse teaches her how to properly throw a punch and kick someone

you are not pleased

ivy is ecstatic her new passion is fighting

harry stays far away from you

also percy is now campaigning to bring awareness to the clarisse and mini clarisse epidemic

he is very concerned.

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex

#clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse la rue x you #pjo tv show #pjo x reader #clarisse and ivy and y/n: the perfect family

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taestefully-in-luv · 2 years

Text

Rule #5 | JJK (2/2)

Summary: You strike up a fwb deal with your childhood friend Jungkook after kissing him one night after a dare. But you have rules…5 of them to be exact and it seems Jungkook doesn’t want to follow any of them.

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader

Genre: fwb au, friends to lovers, fluff, maybe a little angst (barely), SMUT

Word Count: 22k (twc:42k)

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, bit of jealous!jk, jk is a little dry with oc, mentions of discomfort & vulnerability, lots of discussion over ‘control’, open communication :], Taehyung is a meddler. Okay…smut warnings: so much kissing (cute & sloppy), lots of teasing, teasing use of the word ‘slut’, technically switch!oc and switch!jk, finger sucking, dirty talk and comm in general, lingerie (tearing of it too), jk is demanding but so soft, use of restraints and blindfold, boners, vaginal fingering, oral (fem rec), overstimulation, edging, multiple orgasms, multiple orgasm denials, cum eating, clit slapping, cream pie (?), protected sex, rougher with multiple positions. But still so soft. Oc describes feeling of vulnerability during sex. (positive)

Part One

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s over an hour into this double date and you aren’t having a horrible time. Not an amazing time…but not a horrible time. You can see Ara is clearly into the guy across from her, he is handsome and seems to be pretty funny. Even you’ve laughed quite a bit at his playful banter with Ara.

Now, the guy across from you is not as outgoing as Ara’s date. He’s almost intimidatingly handsome, sharp eyes that come across off as judgmental. But you realized the judgmental one is you because as soon as he talks he is soft spoken and kind. He’s just a bit shy.

Chul, Ara’s date is sharing a few stories about a disastrous holiday work party last year. You and Ara both cracking up when Ren, your date, chimes in. “I just hope this year isn’t as bad.”

“Well, maybe it won’t be if these two wonderful ladies accompany us.” He winks at Ara who just rolls her eyes, but you can see the blush on her cheeks.

“It’s summer.” She points out, “You’re already trying to plan for something so many months in advance?”

“Is it bad to be that hopeful?” Chul eyes Ara innocently and you can’t help but snort but you quickly cover your mouth.

“Sorry, sorry.” You conceal a smile, “I didn’t mean to make that sound.”

“It’s okay.” Ren chuckles quietly, “Chul really is that hopeful.” Then he leans over the table a little, eyes on you. “He’s been talking about Ara nonstop since they started chatting.”

“Oh.” You glance at Ara who is giggling to something else Chul said, “It seems like they’re hitting it off then.”

“Yeah.” Ren takes a look at the other two as well before whispering, “Should we give them some space?”

You turn your head back to Ren with wide eyes and then decide maybe he’s right so you nod. He smiles as he stands up and gestures towards the bar instead of the table you four are currently occupying, “We can grab another drink.”

You stand as well and you both make it to the bar top and take a seat at the stools, “I don’t think they even noticed that we left.” You laugh.

“Highly doubt it.” Ren shakes his head gently, “He was nervous to come by himself, honestly. So he asked me to come too.” Then his eyes expand, “But I mean, after seeing your photo it’s not like he had to force me.”

You giggle at this, “It’s okay. I get it.”

He relaxes, “If I’m being honest with you…I’m kind of going through a break up.”

“Ah really?” You tilt your head, “Rough breakup?”

“Yes and no.” He sighs out, smile tugging at his lips. “It was clean and mutual but for some reason that’s what’s making it feel so rough.” He laughs. “Sorry, probably not the topic of conversation you are wanting to have.”

“Can I be honest too?” You show him a crooked smile and he nods. “I wasn’t necessarily thrilled about going on a double date. Like, in general.” You decide to clarify, “Nothing against you, of course. I’m also helping out a friend.” And he nods in understanding since he’s doing the same thing. “But it feels strange for some reason. Being here.”

“Strange?” He lifts his brows in concern, “Did I do something?”

You’re quick to wave your hands around, shaking your head. “No. No.”

“Then?”

“Fine, I’ll tell you but you cannot tell anyone.” You chuckle to yourself, “Well, not Ara, anyway.”

Ren eyes you curiously, “Are you seeing someone else?” He guesses almost correctly.

“Yes and no.” You repeat his answer from earlier. “It’s complicated but not complicated.” You shrug now, “I have a friends with benefits?”

“That’s a question?” He grins at you. “But wow, good luck with that.”

“Good luck?” You ask, amused.

“Yeah.” He nods. “I mean, unless your relationship is strictly the benefits and hardly friends then I guess it could work.”

You blink at him before your cheeks heat up and you frown, “He’s one of my best friends actually. Not to mention my friend since we were kids. Super close.”

“Then I will emphasize my ‘good luck’ because you’ll need it.” He chuckles. “Be prepared for chaos.”

“Actually that’s highly unlikely.” You say confidently. “We have rules in place. So things don’t get chaotic. Everything is under control.”

“Rules?” He raises a single brow, “Which are?”

“Well,” You look up, trying to recall the rules. “First one is that we can’t tell anyone and the sec—”

“—Didn’t you just break the first rule?” He snorts, “No offense, but I don’t feel confident in your other rules now. You’re probably breaking those too.”

“Wow,” You look at him, surprised. “How dare you call me out? I thought you were shier than this?”

“Well, considering we’ve been honest about why we’re here, I feel more comfortable” He smiles at you.

“So comfortable that you can tease me like that?” You laugh, “But you’re the first person I’ve told!”

“Regardless of your other rules,” Ren softens, “Going out on a date feels strange? Are you not overthinking yet? You know, the ‘why’?”

“Why would I?” You ask and Ren studies you for a moment. He doesn’t know you like that but why do you look so genuine, like you really don’t understand.

“How would you feel if he was out right now? With someone else?”

“Like on a date?”

“Yeah.��

“He wouldn’t.” You shrug, “He—”

“—Maybe that’s why you aren’t overthinking it.” He realizes, “Because you feel like you don’t have to worry about him getting busy with someone else. And this double date doesn’t have meaning for you so what’s to overthink, huh?” He chews on his bottom lip, “But does he know you’re here? How would he feel?”

“He…” You pause, trying to really think about it. Well, he wouldn’t mind. Just a week ago you were both going to hook up with other people. He doesn’t get jealous. He doesn’t care. “He wouldn’t care.” You finally say, “He would probably brush it off.”

“Because he knows the context or because he doesn’t care if you see someone else?” Ren questions you, small grin. “Because those are two different things. And if he finds out, do you think he will assume the context? That you’re just here for you friend. Or will he assume you’re wanting to see other people?”

“Why do I feel like I’m speaking to a therapist?” You joke.

Ren laughs, apology in his eyes. “Sorry, sorry. It’s easier to focus on someone else’s problems instead of my own.”

“Oh, right. Your clean but rough break up.”

“Exactly. Together two years but going on different paths.”

“Ah,” You nod in understanding. “Aka, you’re still in love but the logical decision is to part ways.”

“Exactly.” Ren looks shy again. “What’s the saying? Right person wrong time?”

“I guess they say that for a reason.”

“I feel like we should probably order a drink now.” Ren chuckles, “And don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

It’s a little after 9 when the double date comes to an end. Ara is definitely giving you the look. She’s totally going to spend more time with Chul so you give her a hug and wave bye to the two men. Ren was super nice the entire evening. You two continued to talk at the bar but it’s clear there isn’t anything there between you both. You’re relieved he wasn’t interested either.

Once in your car you try to decide what to do—go home or call Jungkook. You’re honestly proud but upset with yourself, for yesterday. You loved teasing him but his offer to finger you quickly in his closet also sounded tempting and nothing feels better than Jungkook making you come.

You won’t lie…you feel a little needy and getting touched by Jungkook sounds like the perfect Saturday night. Plus, you kind of wore what you’re wearing for a purpose. You perhaps planned ahead—you’re wanting to see Jungkook. Pulling out your phone from your bag, you find Jungkook’s name and press ‘call’. It’s ringing and ringing and you think he won’t answer. Maybe he’s busy? Then Ren’s words from earlier make you stomach do its usual twisting. No, he wouldn’t be out with someone else.

“Hello?” He finally answers. He’s quiet and his voice came out in a mumble. Maybe he was asleep..

“Hey.” You respond, “Were you sleeping?”

“No.” He says simply. “What’s up?” Still mumbling.

“Well,” You press the phone harder to your ear, his voice is too quiet. “Are you busy?”

“Nah.”

“Okay…” You say slowly, “Want to hang out?”

He silent on the other end, soft breaths barely even heard. “Hello?” You check to see if he’s still there. “Jungkook?”

“What?” He asks with a bite to his voice. “What’s up?”

“No, I was just seeing if you wanted to hang out, jeez, never mind then.” You respond equally annoyed.

“No, wait.” He sighs out, “Sorry, I was just—sure, you can come here if you want.” He tells you.

“If I want?” You frown to yourself, “I’ll only go if it’s what you want.”

“You’re so annoying, y/n.” He kind of laughs to himself but it’s distant. “Yeah, I want you to come over.”

“Hmm,” You try to tease him, it sounds like he’s in a bad mood. Maybe he had a long day. “I don’t know.” You hum. “Should I?”

“Yeah,” He tells you dryly.

You try to brush it off, “Okay, well, I’m actually nearby so I’ll be there in like ten.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” You take a breath, “See you soon.”

“Just let yourself in.” He says before hanging up.

Well, okay. You’re wondering if he had to go into work today and it was long and stressful…hopefully seeing you could make him feel a little better. He can get moody sometimes so it’s not like you aren’t used to it. But it always sucks when he’s dry with you.

Before you know it, you’re entering his apartment. It’s dark inside, all of the lights turned off in the living room as well as the kitchen. Once you’ve slipped your shoes off you start walking towards the back, a soft glow coming from the long hallway where his bedroom is located. You get closer to his bedroom, his door only cracked open, where the only light in his apartment is spilling through.

You gently push it open and see Jungkook laying on his bed, propped up on the pillows while he scrolls through his phone. His eyes lift from his phones screen and checks you out shamelessly but he keeps his face neutral.

“Nice dress. New?” He asks before his eyes go back to his phone.

“Oh.” You look down at your outfit. A black dress that falls right above your knees, it hugs your body in all the right ways with a revealing neckline. “Yeah, I was shopping around before I came over yesterday.” You tell him.

“Right.” He answers, eyes on his phone. “Cool.”

“Yeah.” You say the word slowly, eyeing him as you continue to stand by the doorway. “Are you okay?”

Jungkook sighs before clicking his phone off and throwing his legs over the edge of the bed to sit up, “I’m great.” He says with a straight face. “What about you?”

“I’m good.” You walk closer to the bed, hesitantly looking at the spot next to him before taking a seat. “You seem annoyed.”

Jungkook chuckles dryly, “What, that’s crazy.”

“Jungkook—”

“—But enough about me,” He turns his head towards you and smiles. “How was your date?”

Your eyebrows climb up your forehead in surprise, “Huh?” You blink at him. “How…how did you know about that?”

“Taehyung.” He keeps his eyes on you. “He mentioned it last night after you left.”

“Taehyung?” You look more confused.

“Ara told him, I guess.” He shrugs, “Anyway, how was it?”

“It—”

“—You look really nice. Bet the dude was all over you, huh?” His expression is completely unreadable but you’re trying to understand his annoyance. You can read into it that much.

“He wasn’t.” You furrow your brows, “It really—I’m sorry…” You shake your head just slightly. “Are you mad about this?”

“Do I look happy?” He narrows his eyes. “You didn’t even tell me.”

“It wasn’t…I didn’t think it would matter?” You mumble, “I didn’t think it was something you’d mind?”

Jungkook’s eyes somehow narrow more, a look of disbelief on his face. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously.” You answer, your own annoyance starting to build. “Why should—”

“You know what,” Jungkook releases a long puff of air, his eyes leaving yours to stare down at his lap. “I mean, you’re right. Why should I mind? It’s always been clear I have no control over you and what you do, who you see—”

“Oh my god,” You huff out, eyes rolling. “You realize controlling someone like that is bad, right?”

His eyes widen before he’s snapping his head to face you, “No, no. I know.” He rushes to say, “Not what I meant.”

“Then what do you mean?”

“That,” He stares at you, his eyes are now doe like and innocent and you see some guilt swirling in them. “I don’t know.” He admits.

“You don’t like that you didn’t know I was on a date with someone?” You ask him directly.

“Yeah, no, I did not like it.” He tells you honestly. “Not just that I didn’t know. I don’t like that you went out with someone in general.”

“Oh.” You nod your head a little, trying to understand. He doesn’t look away from you, his eyes boring into yours and you stare back just as intently.

You didn’t think he would care. Especially because this double date wasn’t like…it was literally meaningless and for Ara. But he doesn’t know that. You continue to look at him before softening, “Why?”

“I don’t know.” He tells you. “I’ve been sleeping with you for like 4 months now. Kind of hate the idea of sharing at this point.” He scoffs to himself before glancing down again, his voice gone quieter. “You make me feel like I don’t have any control over anything.”

You frown a little at his words, “Jungkook…” Your hand goes to his thigh. “Last week you didn’t care though? If we—”

“—I knew damn well we weren’t actually going to hook up with anyone else.” He cuts in, looking dejected.

“Oh.”

“I might not be cut out for this kind of arrangement.” He tells you, eyes still on his lap. “I thought I was but finding out you were out with someone else made me feel like…” He looks back up, contemplating his words. “Like you’re just playing with me.”

You push your head back, confusion on your features. “I’m not.” You say quickly. “God, I would never—”

“—I know.” He cuts you off, “But I’m so into what we do but you aren’t satisfied with me?” He looks hurt as he asks that. “You feel the need to—” “—No.” You squeeze his thigh. “It wasn’t a real date or anything. It was just for Ara…the guy and I both made it clear we weren’t interested in one another. Seriously, Jungkook.” You gaze at him, trying to get your words across. “I’m telling the truth.”

“Not a real…date?” He questions you, “Then why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think to say anything because it was barely on my mind!” You lean into him, “Seriously, Jungkook. I don’t want you to feel like I’m not enjoying this.” You squeeze his thigh again. “I am. More than anything else right now.”

He raises a brow at you, his expression looking less serious. “Yeah?”

“Yes.” You nod. “So…” You start nibbling on your lips, feeling anxious now. “Don’t say something like you aren’t cut out for this…we’re having fun, right? You’re enjoying it too, right?”

He looks wary to answer for a moment.

“Jungkook?”

“Yeah.” He blurts, “I am but I think this whole day I had a different mindset and it kind of fucked with me.” Jungkook admits, “I really don’t want to share what we’re doing with anyone else. Is that unfair? Plus, it’s safer that way…” He glances to the side, “But I just feel like I have no reigns over you.”

You stare at him before your lips curve into a subtle smirk, “Is this because you want to make me feel I only belong to you, Jungkook?”

He look taken aback, head already shaking. “I told you, I’m not saying I want to—”

“Do you want to make yours tonight then?” You ask, your voice calm, which only makes him more nervous.

“What are you talking about?” He whispers, brows pinched together.

“You feel like you have no sense of control when you’re with me, right?”

“Okay…” He says slowly.

“Then I’ll give you the control.” Your hand leaves his thigh. “Tonight.”

He leans in a little, eyes boring into yours before he softens, “That’s what you mean…” He pauses. “No.”

“No?”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“There’s always going to be a little discomfort when it comes to vulnerability.” You tell him. “But it’s not like I haven’t fantasized about it. You’re the only one who comes to mind too, when I think about something like that.” You look off to the side, feeling a little embarrassed for admitting that. You aren’t sure you’re a fan of giving up the control to someone else but when you fantasize when you’re alone, the thought of Jungkook makes your body set itself on fire.

Jungkook is quiet as he stares at you, his eyes studying your face with such intensity. “You want to let me have my way with you?” He asks in a whisper. “You want me to be in charge of your pleasure?”

“Believe it or not, but you’ve been in charge of my pleasure for a while.” Your eyes go back to him.

“How so?” He looks down at your lips before going back to your eyes.

“Since you’re the reason for it.” You give a small shrug, “No one else has been a reason for so long.”

“Ah, right.” He smiles, “Around 4 months, huh?”

“Something like that.” You admit and his brows pull together before you speak again. “Don’t overthink that.”

“You want to be mine tonight?” He asks, genuinely. “Because if you give me that permission…god, are you really letting me have that kind of power, y/n?”

“I’m giving you tonight.” You say. “To do whatever you want with me. I’ll be good for you. Just like how you want.” You have a teasing glint in your eye. Like you’re mocking him but you’re also so serious.

His fingers go to your jaw, “You’re always good for me, baby. Believe it or not.” Jungkook smirks and your stomach twists. Again. But the way your stomach is turning isn’t totally uneasy. It’s flopping and making you feel something so strange as it shakes up. You want to think it’s nerves but instead it feels like excitement.

“What exactly do you want to do?” You lean into his touch.

“I want to see you like I’ve never seen you.” He leans in more, his lips ghosting yours. “I want to see you completely lost, completely gone, completely fallen apart. Completely mine.”

“Why do you want me like that so badly?” You whisper against his lips, your eyes beginning to shut.

“Because I’m the only one who will know that side of you, right?”

“You think no guy has ever had me—”

“—No.” He stops you from finishing that, his lips pressing against yours. He’s kissing you slow before pulling back, lips still brushing yours. “Because you only want me to have you, don’t you?”

You exhale a deep breath, your hands going to his neck, fingers gripping his hair as you push your lips against his. Kissing him while breathy moans get shared between you both. You feel needy as you slip your tongue into his mouth, your fingers lost in his hair and an undeniable ache between your legs.

Jungkook’s hands are all over your waist and hips and finally one hands slips behind your neck as well as he deepens the kiss more passionately. He groans into your mouth when he feels how your hand slides down and you cup him over his sweats. He pulls away from you, breathless and you can’t help but look disappointed.

“You really want this?” he asks, eyes on you. “My way?”

“Yes.” You breathe out, “Fuck, yes. I want this, Jungkook—I want you, I want you so badly.”

“Tell me a word you’ll remember.”

“What?”

“A word. Safe word.”

“A safe…” You mumble, “Uh,”

“It’s just so I know if it’s too much, baby. I won’t do anything to hurt you.” His expression loses some of its lewdness as he stares at you. “I’d never do anything to make you uncomfortable, y/n. I just want you to feel good. But if it’s too much, I want you to tell me.”

“Then I’ll just tell you.” You say, “Who says I’ll remember a word if you’re making me fall apart for you, Jungkook.”

“You’re talking like you know I will.” He smirks, lewd expression returning.

“I know you will.” You bite your lips before speaking so slow, the teasing only continuing. “Do you want to fuck me like I’m your slut?”

Jungkook’s eyes widen at your words. Oh. You’re teasing him. Maybe even mocking but it’s working for him. He sucks his bottom lip between his teeth, taking his time to breathe. Fuck, you’re something else. “Would you let me?” a sly grin grows on his face. “Hm? Would you let me treat you,” His hand goes to your thighs where the dress rides up, his fingers inch closer to your core. You still, breath hitched as his fingers find the band of your underwear and he dips inside. “Like you’re mine?” Two fingers rub at your clit and he smirks at the wetness that’s pooled. “Someone who is dirty for me? Nasty?” He asks slowly with his deep voice before he’s pulling his hand away and putting his two fingers to your lips.

You glance down at his fingers before your big eyes go to his dark one. “You’re the one who wants me to fuck you like a slut yet you can’t suck on my fingers?” He teases you, softly nudging your lips apart. “I thought you said you’d be good for me, baby.”

You keep quiet, eyes still on him as you let his fingers push through your mouth. Your taste spreads instantly, your tongue recognizing your flavor. You finally lick at his fingers before sucking on them.

“Do you taste good?” He asks you, “You look a little shy like this, y/n.” Jungkook pulls his fingers back, the wet digits outlining yours lips. “You’d rather taste my cum, huh?”

The corner of your lips lift before you answer, “I hope you’d let me.”

“Let you?” He quirks a brow, “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t let you do.”

“Okay.” Your hands go to his chest, before you lean forward and give him a simple kiss. “Then there is nothing I won’t let you do to me too.” You whisper against his lips, “In fact, I am hoping you do everything to me, Jungkook.”

“If I’m lucky you’ll say something like that to me again.” He sighs out when your hand goes back to the bulge in his sweats. “And again.” He closes his eyes now. “And again.” You rub his erection over the clothing, the feeling of it hard beneath your palm. “All,” His breaths become more bated, “The fucking time.”

“If I’m lucky,” You plant another kiss to his parted lips. “Then you’ll make me want to say it to you over and over.”

Jungkook releases a long breath before opening his eyes again, his fingers wrapping around your wrist, guiding your hand away from his body. “What are you wearing under this outfit of yours?”

“Something you’ll like.” You admit almost sheepishly, “It might have been a part of my shopping yesterday.”

“That I’ll like?” His eyes scan your figure, “Yet you wore it on your date?”

“Didn’t wear it for him.” You nudge your nose against his, “Not saying I’m wearing it for y—”

“—No, no…” Jungkook’s hands go to your waist, “I want you to tell me the truth. Did you wear it for me?”

“I’m just saying I know you’ll like it.” You lean away from him a little, eyes looking playful.

“I’ll play along, babe.” Jungkook’s fingers go to your thighs again, his fingers riding up your dress even more, fingers working up your thigh when his expression shifts when he notices something. “But with how this night is going to go, I want you to know that you’ll be admitting every little thing you do that is to please me.”

“You sound confi—”

“—I want you to take off your clothes. Leave on whatever it is you think I’ll like so much. And then lean back on the bed for me.” Jungkook’s hands leave your body and he’s standing from the bed. “I’ll be back.”

Your eyes follow him as he goes into his closet and you’re quickly standing as well. You go to unzip your dress, shrugging it off your shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. Leaving you in nothing but the lingerie you bought.

You look down at your body, fingers tugging on different parts of the lingerie because suddenly you’re feeling more nervous. Not bad nervous. Thrilled nervous. Your skin feels like it’s on fire, an undeniable warmth surrounding you but god, it feels exciting. You make your way onto Jungkook’s bed, propping yourself up as you lean back on his pillows. One leg down while the other is up, bent at the knee. Then you slide it back down. Then up again. Okay, maybe you are nervous, nervous.

Your eyes trail down your body again, making sure all the lace material is sticking to you in the right ways when you notice the closet light turning off and Jungkook is making his way out. His eyes are on his hands as he inspects the box he’s holding. He comes to the foot of the bed, “Okay,” He starts, “Took me a second to find what I was look—” He lifts his head to lock eyes with you but he’s lost the words he was wanting to say. Lips slightly parted as his eyes widen at the sight. “Oh, fuck.” He swallows.

You stare at him, breaths getting stuck in your throat. “Is that good or bad?” Your hands go to hug yourself a little. He stares back before rolling his head back and he chuckles.

“In what world would that be a bad thing?” He laughs out, his voice sounding deep. “You were right though.” He takes a breath before looking at you again. “I do like what you’re wearing. A lot.”

A small smile begins spreading on your lips before your hands go to your sides, “Oh.”

“I change my mind. Come here, to me. Stand up my pretty girl.” He orders you softly, your body tingling. “I need to see you properly.”

“Jungkook…” You glance to the side, “That feels—”

“—It feels like what I want.” He cuts you off, his eyes darkening. “So be good for me and come here.”

Well, this is what you asked for. You take a deep breath before lifting yourself from his mattress and you try to feel confident even though his eyes are glued to you…it feels like he’s sinking his teeth into every inch of skin your body offers.

“You know, when you look shy like this it only makes me want to have more fun with you, you know that, right?” He smirks, eyes going to your eyes finally.

“I’m not shy.” You mumble, “I’m just…”

“I know.” He softens, he drops the box he’s been holding to his bed before his hand reaches out for you. “Now come here.”

You stand from the bed, legs slowly taking you closer to him. He keeps his hand extended for you and you finally reach for it and he guides you closer and closer. “Let me just look at you.” He says, eyes leaving yours.

Jungkook sees the black straps that cling to your shoulders, raking them lower to see how this lacey black bra is completely see through. He bites down onto his bottom lip, seeing how your nipples poke through the material. His eyes go lower, a brow raising for a moment when he sees the black garter belt wrapped around your waist, above your black and completely see through panties.

“Hm.” His fingers reach to touch the garter belt, he traces one of the suspenders down to where it connects with the lace garter around your thigh. “I knew I felt this when I touched you earlier.” He hums, referring to the garter. “It’s why I asked what you were wearing.”

“I figured.” You say quietly. Breaths bated.

“You look so beautiful.” He tells you just as quiet, “But I need you to turn around for me.”

You feel the heat rush to your cheeks, your own teeth nibbling your lips and Jungkook suddenly looks amused.

“Embarrassed?” He muses, “Here.” He reaches for your hand and lifts it above your head. “Spin for me, baby.”

You exhale a deep breath…you know he’s going to like this. But you feel fucking exposed like this. “Okay.”

You turn slowly, feeling his eyes on your backside. His hand leaves yours before both his hands come to your shoulders and he’s leaning forward, lips pressing against your shoulder. “I thought so.” He whispers. “A thong, huh?” Jungkook chuckles darkly, “Your ass looks amazing.”

“Yeah?” You whisper, cheeks still on fire.

“Mhm.” He says, his hands brushing down your back before he’s cupping your ass in his hands. “You know how badly I want to fuck you?”

“Then fuck me.”

“No.” Jungkook steps away from you, hands going to your shoulders again when he turns you around to face him. “Not yet.”

“Not yet?” You gaze at him, “Don’t tell me something like you want to take your time with me?” You tease. Jungkook lightly scoffs, his hands dropping and fingers curving around your waist.

“That wasn’t going to be my answer but it also works.” He whispers, his eyes are filling with something you don’t totally recognize. “But,” One of his hands leave your waist, fingers trailing up your body before he’s got his fingers brushing one of your cheeks. “My original answer is that I have to ruin you first. Get you so desperate that you’re begging and crying for my cock.” He tells you slowly, fingers still stroking your cheek. “Get you saying and doing anything I want.”

You lick your drying lips, heart rate speeding up in your chest. “You think you’re capable of that?” You aren’t even challenging him. You’re genuinely asking.

“It’s for me.” His fingers stop stroking your cheek, instead he cups your jaw before leaning in and placing a long kiss to your lips. You close your eyes, staying closed even when he pulls away from you. “I think you’d be surprised what you might do for me.”

Eyes opening as you stare into him. Your breaths aren’t as even as you’d like, his words always make your body react even when your brain tells you to calm down. But he might be right. You are also questioning it…what all would you do if it’s with Jungkook?

“Now you can lay on the bed.” He tells you, backing away from your body when he glances down at the mattress where he placed the box he got from the closet. “Once you’re laying down, put your hands together above your head.”

Your hearts stops. “W-What? Why?”

“Because it’s what I want?” He looks at you, “And you trust me, right?”

You sigh out, “Okay, yeah.”

“Then lay down. Put your hands together. And put them above your head.” He grabs the small box from the bed, opening the top and you see exactly what you figured. “Also, have your legs spread a little.”

You can’t help but swallow hard, your knee lifting to the mattress as you make your way to the head of the bed, laying down against his pillows. You look down at your hands, hesitantly connect your wrists before slowly raising them above your head. You see how your chest rises and falls heavily, your breaths coming out almost harshly—the anticipation is killing you.

Jungkook sets the box down, his fingers inside, moving some things around before he’s pulling out a couple of things. You gulp, knowing this was his plan…your hunch was correct. He’s got some silky material rolled up before he unravels it, smile on his face, looking satisfied. He sets it down before pulling out something else silky. You aren’t dumb. You can recognize a proper blindfold anywhere.

“Don’t worry,” Jungkook lifts his eyes to you, “We won’t jump into this quite yet. Got to get you comfortable first with the idea…but this…” He grabs the other silky material from the bed, unraveling it further. “We can start here.”

You take a deep breath before nodding your head. Jungkook smiles at you before he closes the box and sets it down onto the floor. He grabs the two items he took from the box and walks to your side of the bed. “Okay,” He sets the blindfold down onto nightstand. “It’s very convenient my head board is like this, huh?”

“I’m starting to think you bought it like this for this reason now.” You tease him, your hands resting against his steal railing head board.

“Nah,” He shrugs cutely, “I like the style. But like I said, very convenient.” He leans over you, grabbing your wrists gently. “Also, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t imagined you like this when I bought it.”

You laugh, “You bought it like two years ago.”

“And?” He chuckles, bringing the silk restraints to your wrists, wrapping the material somewhat tightly around them. “If you think I only started imagining what it would be like to fuck you since a few months ago then you are gravely mistaken.” He ties the ribbon tighter, then he is lifting your hands a little higher, “Tying you to the bed now.” He says, making a knot around the steal rail.

“You…thought of me—”

“—What can I say?” He pulls your wrists away from the rail, making sure the restraints are secure. “I’m a man with taste.”

Your breaths become a little heavier, a flame burning at your skin. “Oh.” Then you crack a smile when he leans back and gazes at you. “You must be horny if you admitted that.”

“Well, I am fucking horny. Look at you.” He chuckles, his hand going to his sweats, trying to adjust them. “But you should know I admit anything I want whenever I want.”

“Question for you,” You roll your lips together, “You aren’t going to wear all of that right?” You nod towards him, “I would prefer if you lost some clothes.”

Jungkook’s lips curve up, “Would you? Hm,” He lifts his shirt off his body, “I can give you a little bit of a view, I guess.”

“Pants too?” You ask him innocently, making him exhale a long breath.

“Keeping my briefs on.” He narrows his eyes, “It’s only fair. You’d be wearing more than me at that point.”

“That’s fine with me.” You bite your lip, “At least I can see your thighs like that.”

“Oh?” He chuckles, “Yeah, you’ve gotten off on them a few times, huh?”

“Yeah.” Your eyes drop to his lower half when he starts dragging his sweatpants off. “You’re so fucking hot.”

Jungkook pauses, mouth falling open in slight surprised. “You think so?” He asks before slowly finishing taking off the pants, kicking them away.

“Of course.” You nod, “You’ve always been cute.”

“Nah, you said hot just now. Not cute.”

“You’re both.”

“Hm, okay.”

“Um,” You pull at the restraints for a moment, “I have an itch.”

Jungkook raises his brows before laughing, “Tell me where.”

“Left cheek.” You whine, “Hurry.”

He leans down a little, fingers going to your cheek before you whine again, “My left.”

“Oh.” He laughs, “Okay.” He’s scratching your other cheek and you sigh in relief. “Is it fucked up that even seeing how you feel good from just that made me want to fuck you more?”

You snort, “Jungkook, what the hell?”

“I mean, because of the noise you made.” He explains, “Can you see how hard I am already?” He looks down at his crotch, your eyes following. You definitely see a bulge. “It’s too bad you’re not allowed to touch me for some time.”

“You know, as much as I love talking to you…you do have me here, in these kinds of clothes…with my hands tied together to your bed…and you haven’t done anything to me yet?”

“Maybe I’m giving you time to get comfortable with it.” He smiles at you. “Nothing matters to me more than your comfort. But if that’s you saying you’re ready for this night to begin…then I am happy to oblige.”

“Then oblige.” You take a deep breath. “I don’t want you to hold back.”

Jungkook laughs a little, his hand going to your thigh, fingers sliding down until he’s wrapping them around your ankle. “Didn’t I tell you to spread your legs?” He asks, tugging your leg closer to him. “We’re barely getting started and you don’t even know how to listen…thought you were going to be good for me?” His fingers unwrap from your ankle before they travel up your thigh again.

“I am…” You sigh out, his fingers playing with the garter. “Not sure I’d let anyone else do this to me…ever.”

“What happens when you like it?” He asks lowly, fingers now barely skidding across your hips.

You slowly close your eyes at the feeling, “I would just have to keep coming back to you.” You say. Jungkook pauses his ministrations, his eyes shooting towards your face when he looks at you with a certain hopelessness that you completely miss.

“And I’d probably never turn you away.” He whispers, fingers going back to touching you.

You lift your lids to eye him, “Probably?”

He smirks, “Oh, should I tell you that I definitely wouldn’t turn you away?”

“It’s preferred.” You say before your body tenses. “Oh.”

Jungkook’s fingers have made their way to your breasts, the thin material does little to stop the feeling he’s causing. The tip of his finger circles around your covered nipple…Jungkook stares down at you, your chest rising at his touch, back arching and head falling more into the pillows behind you.

“Prettiest girl.” He tells you, his own breaths picking up. You think this is one of those times he is saying it without him trying to sound teasing. Maybe he was right. With the way he’s staring down at you, maybe he does mean it. And that just makes your body feel even more on fire.

“Jungkook…” The breathless way you say his name makes him shut his eyes and sigh out.

“I know.” Is all he says before he maneuvers his way onto the bed with you, his knees between your spread thighs as he leans down, arms on either side of you. “y/n.”

Jungkook’s face is just inches from yours…you wish you could wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in so you can kiss him but…you fucking can’t. His eyes dart up where he sees you slightly pulling at the restraints on instinct. “Already?” His lips turn up. “Oh, this is going to be fun.”

“Jung—”

His lips connect with yours, soft against your mouth but still so firm in the way that makes your toes curl. He moves his lips against you slowly, his breaths and taste feel hypnotizing, as if your inability to touch him has made you focus only on his lips. You felt tense at first but the moment he sighs into your mouth, you feel the way you melt. Body turning to goo on his mattress.

Jungkook pulls away for a moment, eyes studying your face with such a lascivious expression. His hand comes to your jaw and he angles it up towards him, eyes growing heavy. “You need to breathe.” He tells you nice and slow.

You blink at him, not realizing you had even been holding your breath. You breathe out a heavy puff of air, your own eyes half lidded and furrowed brows. “I wish I could touch you.”

“I know.” He licks his lips, “I love your touch.” His fingers grip your jaw a little tighter, turning your face to the side. He leans in, mouth at your ear. “I get so fucking weak when you touch me.”

Jungkook lowers his head more, lips going right below your ear before he kisses it. Then a little lower, more kisses. Your eyes flutter shut at the softness of his lips, breaths still heavy. But your brows really pinch together when he starts sucking on your skin, teeth nipping and you release a moan in response. One hand on your jaw and the other behind your neck as he continues kissing and sucking. You squirm beneath him, toes curling in and out and your wrists softly pulling the restraints again.

The hand on your jaw lowers until you feel him massaging one of your breasts, thumb brushing against your nipple and you start to close your thighs around him from how good you feel, the ache between your legs only growing stronger.

“No.” Jungkook lifts his face, eyes going to yours. “I don’t think so.” His fingers travel to your inner thigh. So fucking close but not close enough. “Spread them again.” He softly demands, fingers pushing your thigh away from him.

“Jungkook.” You look up at him, the way he’s hovering over you makes you feel so helpless.

“Yes baby?” He leans down, nudging his nose with yours. “Be a little more patient,” He whispers, “Because the more impatient you act…the more I will make you wait.”

Your breaths are erratic now, your expression shifting into something more desperate than before. “It’s not my fault.” You whimper and he swears the way you sounded makes him want to forget all of this and just fuck you, fast and rough.

“I know it’s not your fault.” He shuts his eyes, body lowering itself closer to you. “It’s mine.” He says it so proudly, lips colliding with yours, the action rougher than before. You react quickly, kissing him back harder. His hand is at your jaw again, tight and possessive. He barely pulls away, lust completely taken over as he traces your bottom lip with his tongue. God, the action feels so lewd.

You’re struggling beneath him, body on fire from his touch, his kiss, his expression, his smell, his taste. You feel completely out of your element, helpless as you let him do whatever he wants, taking his fucking time and making you lose your mind.

Jungkook smirks at you, planting one more kiss to your lips before he starts kissing down your chest. Your heaving chest, with a lace bra that does nothing to cover your tits. His hands are busy, lifting the bra above your breasts, his kisses landing everywhere, tongue flicking your sensitive nipple. You arch your back more, breathy moans beginning to slip out.

He doesn’t stop there, he continues kissing down your stomach, in all the places the garter belt doesn’t cover. Hands gripping your hips tightly, stopping you from moving them so much. You look down at him and bite down onto your bottom lip, hard. His hair is messy, falling into his dark eyes that concentrate on your body.

You watch him, breathless, anticipating for his lips to find your wet cunt so you can finally feel some sort of relief but much to your dismay…he completely skips over your center. His fingers continue to dig into your hips as he lowers himself more, biting at your thighs as you whine for him.

“Jungkook…fuck, please.” You struggle to hide your desperation now. “Please, Jungkook. I need you. I don’t know if I can handle this pace anymore…please…”

Jungkook does stop…a smile forming on his lips as he lifts his head to look up at you. “Did you finally just beg? Properly? For the first time?”

You continue to bite your lips, hips still trying to move but he’s firm in holding you down.

“You did.” He tells you, clearly satisfied. “Okay, babe. I think it’s time I give you what you want.”

Thank fucking goodness because you are honestly feeling pathetic at this point. And you hate that it makes your lower belly swirl in desire because Jungkook looks so fucking pleased with it.

His fingers go to your inner thighs, his eyes glued to your pussy, the see through panties showing him everything. “Spread your legs further apart.” He orders and you listen. Jungkook’s fingers get closer, trailing slowly towards the most sensitive part your thighs have to offer.

He takes one finger and barely brushes it over your underwear. Your hips buck up, a soft cry leaving your lips. “Fuck, Jungkook.” You moan.

He bites his lip, eyes concentrated on you. His fingers pull your underwear to the side, exposing your wet heat that immediately makes him gulp. “Fucking hell, y/n.” He struggles to breathe evenly, “I can’t believe I was worried today. Look at what I do to you.” His cheeks are blazing. “I’m the only one who can do this to you, aren’t I? With you spread like this, your pussy is on display for me.” He keeps the underwear pushed to the side as his other hand come towards you, a single finger touches you. You tense, once again feeling so helpless.

Jungkook gently strokes your pussy with his one finger, getting it soaked in your juices. You feel like this one motion alone could have you trembling. He uses two fingers now, the digits exploring everything between your folds. You’re unable to keep quiet, being touched by him feels like heaven. You shut your eyes, hips circling.

Jungkook keeps playing with you, his fingers finally lowering until he’s toying with your entrance. You squeeze your eyes, teeth digging into your bottom lip, waiting so fucking patiently to feel him enter you. And he does, both of his fingers push inside and you let out a long, drawn out moan. He momentarily looks away from your heat, eyes going to your face when he sees how fucked out you look.

“Do you know how much I love your pussy?” He asks you, the tone of his voice makes you clench around his fingers. “So fucking much. Love eating it, making you come on my tongue.”

Your wrists pull at the restraints again, the urge to just push his head down with your hands and pull his hair as he eats you out is strong. But of course you cannot. He smiles when he sees you open your eyes to gaze down at him. His fingers begin sliding in and out of you, your walls tight around them before he’s curling them…you finally feel more of a relief.

“I know exactly what you like, hm?”

“Yes.” You sigh, content that you’re finally being touched like this.

He keeps moving his fingers expertly before his face comes closer to your core, he breathes you in and licks his lips. “I want to cover your pretty pussy in my cum…” He breathes out roughly, “I bet you’d love that, huh?” His fingers move faster.

“Yeah, I would…” You admit, biting your lip to conceal a smirk. “I would love to have your cum anywhere on me.”

“Yeah?” He looks up at you, nose so close to brushing against your clit. “Hmm…”

“Jungkook…” Your eyes roll around, pleasure building but you want more. You’re about to tell him but he’s not dumb, he knows exactly what you want. And he gives it to you. His tongue is suddenly dipping between your folds, pressed against the place that is throbbing, aching, screaming in desperation.

You don’t mean to cry out, the feeling so overwhelming after all his teasing. He licks your clit with calculated strokes, pressed against you, so warm and wet and god, the way his tongue starts moving around, swirling and flicking��you swear you could finally come.

His fingers don’t stop as he groans into you, the sound only turning you on even more. You’re going crazy, squirming and struggling to stay still as the pleasure builds and builds. You feel so good though, surprised how being restrained has made this experience much more exhilarating.

“Fuck, that’s good…Jungkook, yes…” You whine, “Mm…” Your hips rise and his free hand forces them back down to the mattress, his tongue absolutely about to bring you over the edge. “I’m so close…” You watch him, brows pulled together with sweat at your hairline. “You’re going to make me come.”

He keeps working his fingers inside you, feeling the way you pulse around them. He wraps his lips around your clit, sucking on it as you cry out loudly. Yeah, you’re coming. You move your head around, unable to control how strong it is…wrists knocking against the steal rail, body finally going tense as Jungkook’s name falls from your mouth over and over.

The high has infiltrated every part of your body. The feeling so good, coming all over Jungkook’s tongue. You’re panting, thighs squishing his cheeks as you ride it out, the fall of your orgasm happening so slowly but god, it feels incredible. His fingers leave your core and you almost miss them.

Jungkook looks up at you, the lewdness in his eyes only grows more and more before he’s letting go of your clit and flicking his tongue over it again and again. Your soft cries turn into full on whimpers when you get hit with a different feeling…

“W-What are you…” You continue to pant, “Fuck, what are you d-doing?” You look down at him, face twisting at the new feeling. “Fuck…w-wait, Jungkook…” Your head falls back, deeper into the pillow as your eyes roll around.

It’s almost painful, the way he’s still eating you out. You’ve never dabbled in overstimulation before, not even to yourself. But you’re choosing to trust him even though you think you cannot handle it.

“Fuck.” You almost scream out the word, body set on fire until suddenly…the warmth isn’t blazing, instead it feels good. “Jungkook…” You say his name in a content defeat. Pleasure taking over anything that was once uncomfortable. He moans into your pussy, clearly satisfied that you’re being good for him…just like you said you would be.

You had no idea what to expect but coming again just a minute after your last orgasm wasn’t something you thought would happen. This time though, it’s more intense…the buildup was quick but fucking powerful and you aren’t sure you’ve ever came this hard before. Moans and words that make no sense leave your mouth.

You grind your hips against Jungkook’s face and he lets you ride it out exactly the way you want, he hums, praising you for being so good. When your orgasm finally comes down, you finally relax your body and manage your breath control. It’s hard because you feel so weak now.

Jungkook rises from your body, a small smile on his shining lips. “You’re so perfect.” He rasps out, “I’ve been wanting to do that for you for ages.”

“Jungkook…” You say his name so softly, your voice almost shaky and he feels his heart swell in pride. Your head sunk into the pillows behind you, your hands limp above you, eyes closed as you still try to even out your breathing.

“Hm?” He rises from between your legs and crawls over you until his face is over yours, “What is it, my pretty girl?” And then he leans in slowly, pecking your lips a few times. You don’t kiss back but you do start to smile between his kisses.

“Are…” You finally start to open your eyes so you can look up at him, his gaze already on you. “Are you going to untie me now?” You ask, fingers twitching above you.

“Why would I do that?” He leans in again, lips finding yours for a firmer kiss before he pulls back, “One more thing before I do.”

“Which…is?” You blink at him, “You aren’t done?”

“Done?” He pushes his head back slightly, a sign of disbelief on his features. “I am not done with you, y/n.” Jungkook’s eyes are so soft on you, a small smile on his lips before he lowers his head into the crook of your neck. “…Will I ever be done with you?” and then there’s a barely there kiss being placed right below your ear. You aren’t sure if it’s the action or his words just now that is making your insides feel all jumbled.

“I want to touch you…” You mumble, cheeks feeling warmer than usual.

“I know.”

No, he doesn’t know. You know he’s thinking about how you probably want to touch him in the way that has his head being thrown back, curses leaving his mouth as you make him feel good. But that isn’t even what you meant. You almost hate what you did mean.

“Want to touch you so bad, Jungkook.” You murmur quietly, eyes closing again.

“I know you do.”

He still doesn’t know, you think. A slight frustration building but you can only settle for defeat. You want to touch him, yes. But in the way that has him staring into your eyes with his usual look of tenderness and understanding. You want to touch him, yes. But in the way that it’s just your fingers stroking his cheek as you praise him, words letting him how well he treats you and how good he makes you feel. That’s how you want to touch him.

Jungkook lifts his head, eyes on yours again. “But I told you, your touch makes me weak, y/n. And I can’t give into you yet…I’m still making you mine…” He pauses, tongue poking out to lick his lips, almost anxiously before he continues with a hushed tone, “You’ve already made me yours, it’s my turn…”

It’s quiet between you both for a moment. He’s staring into your eyes and you aren’t sure what you’re feeling. You want to feel anxious because this feels too much. But the urge to reach out and touch his cheek is still here and you don’t know what to do with that.

“You still trust me, right?” He smiles again now, “And are you feeling comfortable again? We can continue?”

You blink in slight surprise, he’s changed the subject. But right, this is about sex. “I do trust you…and yeah, I’m feeling better.”

Quick kiss to your lips before he’s lifting himself away from you, his feet landing on the floor. You turn your head to the side to see him standing in front of the night stand, he’s chewing on his lips, clearly thinking. “Okay…” He breathes out.

“Oh…” You realize he’s staring at the blindfold. The thought of not being able to move your hands but also not be able to see…is a little interesting. And also a little scary. But it’s Jungkook.

He reaches for the blindfold, fingers grasping the silk material before he glances at you, “I know you might be tense at first,” He speaks calmly, “But it’s just me. Remember, my goal is to make you feel good. Trust me…and I promise, I will give you everything from your fantasies.”

“I do trust you.” You assure him, “I just hope…” Your voice gets quieter, “That I am also something out of your fantasies.”

Jungkook’s lips part but he doesn’t speak. He keeps his eyes on you and you can tell he’s wanting to say something but no words leave him. It makes you feel dizzy. Did you say something wrong?

“I just mean—”

“—This doesn’t compare to anything my dumb imagination could come up with.” He says quickly before clearing his throat. “Believe me.”

Your body relaxes instantly at his words. “Okay.”

Jungkook’s lips curve and then he’s getting closer to you, the blindfold being fiddled between his fingers, “Going to cover your eyes now. Answer me this…do you want me to tell you everything I want to do before I do it? Or do you want the element of surprise but I walk you through it? Might do things you don’t expect…but I will not hurt you…” He assures softly, “I will check in with you and never hesitate to tell me if you don’t like something. Okay?”

“Yeah.” You nod, “Element of surprise.” Your stomach tightens at the sight of the blindfold, his fingers playing with the material and suddenly there’s a welcomed sensation beginning to electrify your body again.

Jungkook smirks down at you before he’s placing the blindfold closer to you, your eyes focused on him before your sight goes dark and his fingers are at the back of your head, tying it. Your eyelashes flutter against the silk, the new darkness suddenly feels strange to you. “I’m still here, baby.” Jungkook whispers, his fingers now at your cheek. “Try to relax.”

Once again, you haven’t realized you were holding in a breath, stomach still tensed but his voice and touch is all the comfort you need. You try to relax your muscles as you release a long breath. “Will you kiss me?” You ask him, your eyes darting around but it’s just the darkness that has you.

“Yes.” He responds, his fingers leaving your cheek. You feel strange again. The absence of his touch has you moving your head around, as if looking for him. But still, the silk over your eyes takes that away from you. One moment. Two moments. Three moments. Still nothing.

“Jung—”

And then you feel his warm breath over your lips…he’s close, obviously. But he still isn’t touching you. The feeling makes you feel almost antsy, it’s still strange but your lower belly is starting to swirl like lava. You swallow hard, lips parted as you try to breathe even once again.

Suddenly, Jungkook’s finger, you’ll assume thumb, comes to your bottom lip, pulling it down. He’s still softly breathing over your mouth as his thumb softly tugs at your lip…and now you can feel how your breaths pick up because his pacing is driving you mad.

They say that depriving one of your senses can heighten your other senses but you’re learning quickly that anticipation is another sense. And it is a highly sensitive one. His breath is warm on your lips and suddenly you can feel the tip of his tongue sliding over your bottom lip, it’s wet and soft and you feel your heart start to race.

Jungkook’s tongue is barely touching you though, the way he glides his tongue, tracing your bottom lips feels so featherlike. Then you are silently gasping when his teeth nip at you before he’s sucking your lip…your stomach tenses again. Lava still swirling and the feeling between your legs is a subtle but taunting tingle.

You release a breathy moan, unable to stop yourself. But it gets swallowed, his thumb quickly dropping from your mouth and his lips land on yours as he groans, his hands cupping your jaw now. You feel completely enveloped in his touch. Back arching as you push your chest up into his. His lips are perfectly slotted between yours. But he’s he is quick to pull away.

And then you feel nothing but coldness again. His hands leave you, his lips leave you, his breath that brought you comfort…leaves you. You’re left breathing heavily, surrounded in darkness with no way to even reach out for him. “Jungkook?” You call out.

“Still here, baby.” He tells you but his voice sounds more distant. “Wait for me for a minute.” And then you can hear his feet quietly shuffling away and suddenly you feel strange again. You feel stuck, lost, helpless. But instead of fear you feel that new sense, the anticipation. And it feels scary in the way that feels exhilarating.

Your body does feel a sense of comfort, your skin rubbing against his sheets and it’s like your skin knows these are Jungkook’s sheets…your head leaned against his pillows and it’s the same feeling. You know it’s his pillows. The smell of the room, it’s him. It’s all him. He’s everywhere despite the fact he is not near you. Your breasts are still exposed, nipples perked at the AC blowing into the room, small goosebumps beginning to infect your skin.

You slide your feet towards you, knees bending as you wait. Your panties are covering your heat again since Jungkook’s fingers are no longer pushing them to the side and you feel the stickiness of your previous and current arousal on the material. You wait. And wait. Focusing on listening for Jungkook’s footsteps. You miss him.

You think you hear that box from earlier being opened again, the same sound of his fingers scrambling through it. It doesn’t last long…the sound. Quiet footsteps again. You’re wondering if he’s being this quiet on purpose, yes, you know he wants to make you as comfortable as possible but he also wants to make it fun too. You kind of appreciate it, if you’re honest. Comfort is nice but the way he’s making you feel from all the mystery is also making you ache in the best way. It’s quiet for some time and you think he’s left the room. Waiting and waiting…sounds in the distance. More waiting.

Suddenly, you can feel the bed dip near your feet. Your head turns in the direction, lips parted as you try to breathe again. You know it’s him, obviously. But being left in the dark creates this doubt that eats you from the inside.

“It’s me.” He whispers, his warm hand landing on your ankle. You can feel the bed dip more, his body going between your legs again. His hands on either side of your ankles, his fingers wrapped loosely around them. “You don’t know but,” His fingers unwrap themselves from your left ankle, fingers sliding up your leg. “You look so beautiful like this.” Suddenly, he’s urging you to lift that same leg, he bends it back until he’s lifting it over his shoulder.

“You like it that much?” You bite your lip, concealing a smile.

“Can you admit it now?” His fingers drag over your leg until you feel them tugging at the garter on your thigh. “You wore this for me, right? You wanted to please me?” He asks you, voice husky.

“Did I?” You breathe out, “I don’t—”

He pulls the garter back before snapping it against your thigh, a slight sting. “Tell me.”

You gasp quietly at the action, breaths picking up more before you decide to be honest. “Fine. I did. I knew you might like it and I wanted you to think I looked nice.”

“Good.” He says, fingers messing with the garter, you can feel how he unclips the suspender. “I’ve enjoyed how you look with all of this on. You look more than nice. You look…” He pauses, fingers beginning to drag the garter down your thigh as he slides it up, getting if off you at your ankle that rests on his shoulder. “You look obscenely indecent.” He says slowly, smirk in his voice.

You laugh a little, the sound is airy. “Indecent?”

“Yes.” He murmurs, “I don’t want anyone else to ever see you like this.” And then he’s lowering your leg and giving attention to the other one. He repeats the actions…lifting it over his shoulder, unclipping the garter and sliding it off of you. The leg lowers back as well.

He’s still in between your legs, but you feel how he moves closer. Suddenly, his hands are around your waist, your body tensing at the way he lightly grips you. You feel how he falls forward, his head burying in your stomach before you can feel soft kisses over your skin.

“Pretty,” He says, fingers playing with the garter belt, “But it has to go.” He lifts himself before sliding it down, over your hips. You lift your ass some to help, his hands pulling down the material quickly. “These too.” He says, snapping the band of your underwear against your skin.

You can’t help but moan, feeling breathless. “You want me naked, huh?”

“Yeah.” He says, urging you to lift your hips again so he can drag the panties off of you. “It’s a view I love even more.”

The air is chilly against all your exposed skin. You want to close your legs together but Jungkook’s body between them does cause a nice warmth but you aren’t sure if it’s from his actual body heat or because it’s Jungkook…you know, between your fucking legs. You feel his fingers at your breasts, your chest rising and falling quickly when he barely drags a finger over your nipple.

“I will buy you more lingerie.” He tells you in a whisper. “So don’t be mad.”

“What—”

His hands pull your bra towards him, stretching the material before you hear it rip. He is tearing the flimsy, lace bra in half.

“Jungkook!” Your eyelashes flutter against the silk quickly, “Why did you—”

“—Your hands are tied up.” He lets the bra fall before he’s dragging it from under you. “This was the easiest way to get it off.” You can hear how his voice sounds so fucking proud.

“You’re right.” You pout. “You are buying me more.”

“Without a doubt, babe.” He chuckles, “But whatever I buy you is only for me.”

You release a long sigh, “Baby…babe…you really don’t follow rule number 3, do you?”

“Nope.” He says cutely, “Just like your other rules, it’s stupid.”

“Jungkook—”

“—And that’s me being easy with you, I have to hold myself back from calling you a million other things.”

“Oh,” your lips lift a little, “Like what?”

“No, no, no.” He sings, “Don’t want to break your rules too crazily.” His hand comes to cup your jaw, “You’re feeling more comfortable, right?” He asks, voice not teasing anymore. “Because I want to ruin you, the prettiest girl in the world, god, I want to ruin you.”

Your breath hitches, your eyes focused on the darkness the silk offers, wrists straining against the steal rail above you. “Do what you want with me, Jungkook.” You finally say, voice close to shaking. “Anything you want, anything…”

Jungkook is quiet, his hand leaves your jaw and you start tensing again. He’s still hovering over you but he isn’t speaking, he isn’t touching you, he isn’t giving you anything to work with. One moment. Two moments. Three moments.

Finally, you can feel the back of his fingers at your elbow, his touch lightly cascading down your inner arm. It tickles but there is no sense to laugh, it tickles in the way that makes your heart start racing, tickles in the way that feels like this tingle is traveling across your entire body. His fingers continue to dance down, falling down your side now, passing the edge of your breast, passing your waist, your hips.

“You like being touched by me?” He asks, lowly.

“Y-Yeah.” You gulp, “It feels good.”

Jungkook lowers his head, lips ghosting over your lips before he speaks again. “What else do you do to please me?”

“What?”

“I said,” His other hand suddenly comes to your breast, fingers pinching your nipple before he softly rolls the nub, leaving you gasping. “What else do you do to please me?”

“I don’t know.” You respond slowly, your eyes finally closing, a pitch black darkness. “Maybe everything.”

“You’re admitting something like that?” He chuckles over your mouth, lips brushing against yours with each word he speaks. “Did you answer like that because you know it would also please me?”

“I answered like that because it’s the truth.” You whisper, “I like making you feel good too.”

Jungkook’s slow to move his lips over yours for a kiss. He loves kissing you, he loves your lips, he loves how you sound when you get into it, he loves passing moans between your mouths, he loves tasting you. You kiss him back just as slow. Mouths moving together languidly as he barely slips his tongue into your mouth, nice and smooth and lazy.

His hand tightens around your jaw before his fingers go to your lips, keeping them spread, forcing your mouth to fall open when he sucks on your tongue more messily. God, the feeling is so lewd but you can only imagine how hot this looks.

You moan out loud, playing with his tongue just as expertly, the feeling feels like velvet. He lets go of your face, his lips slotting over yours again and then he’s really kissing you, faster, rougher, messier. He’s moaning into your mouth and you eat them right up. You aren’t sure how long you two have been kissing for but it’s long enough to have the ache between your legs start to feel mind numbingly painful.

Your hips are stirring, your wrists are pulling at the restraints and your vision is nonexistent. Jungkook pulls away, breathing heavy over your mouth, a quiet whine leaving his lips. “I can’t wait to fuck you.” Is all he says, leaving you more breathless than before.

And then there is coldness again. He’s leaving you. And he takes all the heat with him. “Jungkook?” You call for him, still trying to catch your breath. “Jungkook?” You bob your head around but of course you cannot see. You squeeze your thighs together and you are met with your arousal, the stickiness coating your skin.

Suddenly, there is something dripping onto your lower stomach. Some kind of liquid? It’s warm…really warm. The new feeling shocks you, something new and unexpected. You can feel this liquid dribbling over your skin, sliding down your sides, a heat following it.

“I heat up some oil,” Jungkook’s voice is suddenly heard. “It’s going to be really warm but it should feel good…to relax you.”

Your mouth has fallen open, slow, deep pants following. It does feel good. Suddenly, more oil is dripping, you feel the wet warmth fall to your breasts, down your sternum. It rolls over your skin, probably dripping to the sheets but you don’t think Jungkook cares.

You can feel each droplet of oil on your skin. It’s hypersensitive. It’s like you can imagine the thick liquid rolling down your sides, tickling you, a path of fire in its wake. “Is it too warm?” He asks “Or is it good?”

You’re still breathing heavily, “It feels so good.” You squirm a little, the oil tickling your skin.

“Good.” He says before you feel his hands on you, fingers spreading the oil into your hips. It feels even warmer, like it’s spreading into the wildest of fires. “I wasn’t sure if it cooled down enough. But I tested it, I thought you might like it this warm.”

“I do.” You sigh in content now that his hands are finally on you again, “It feels amazing.”

His hands explore more, he’s spreading the oil down to the tops of your thighs, fingers digging into your skin, the heat following. Then his hands are on your chest, the oil coating your breasts, he’s massaging your nipples, a drawn out moan leaving your lips.

Suddenly, His hands leave you and Jungkook is in between your legs again and your ears perk up. A sound you weren’t expecting gets your attention…a sound that is slick, fast and unholy. Is he…? You’re still breathing roughly when you can hear the consistent sound in front of you and Jungkook is moaning himself.

You know exactly what he’s doing. And you fucking hate that you cannot see him.

“Jungkook…” You whine, “Take this blindfold off…I need to see you.”

“Too bad, y/n.” He groans out, the slick sound is obscene. You know he has his oiled fingers wrapped around his cock and he’s stroking himself above you. “Just to clarify,” He moans again, “You are on birth control still, right?”

“Are you going to—”

“—Not going to come in you.” He says, struggling to keep his voice clear. “But you are, right?”

“Yes.” You feel so helpless and upset you cannot touch him or see him. “Are we—”

“—No.” The sound suddenly stops. “I’m not fucking you yet. But,” He lowers himself a little closer to you, the subtle feeling of his hard length brushing against your inner thigh just barely. “I am going to enjoy this view as much as possible.” He says before your body finally sets itself on fire. The head of his cock rests at the tops of your folds, suddenly, his length is moving side to side, spreading your folds apart and he’s rubbing against your clit. You both moan in unison.

“Oh fuck,” He cries out softly, “I make you this wet?”

You only whimper in response, his cock sliding vertically now, just moving against your folds. He’s whining above you, moving his hips to barely brush against your wet, dripping cunt, rubbing against every nerve in your clit, the feeling making you go crazy. You move your legs, wrapping them around Jungkook’s waist, trying your hardest to push your heels into him so he will lower himself even more but he’s stronger than you.

“No, baby.” He pants out, “This is for me. Not you.” Suddenly, he stops moving and you’re left feeling insane, wanting nothing more than to continue the feeling that was starting to build. His cock leaves your heat and you hear him breathing erratically above you. Then, the head of his cock drops to your clit, the feeling is heavy. The action repeats. He’s slapping his cock down onto your clit, repeatedly dropping it making you gasp as he moans.

He starts rubbing against it more roughly now, quick and heavy. You’re squirming in your spot. Jungkook is still panting, his fingers wrapped around himself so tightly as he stares down at you. Your mouth has fallen open, your entire expression is wonton and dreamy. He wishes he could see your eyes now, he wants to see your entire face, he wants to see you and how good he makes you feel. He’s stroking himself as he rubs your clit repeatedly, his fingers moving faster and faster and he’s squeezing his eyes shut for only a moment, listening to your moans with all his focus. He’s so close. He’s going to come. He is going to come because of this view that is just for him. He is going to come because you did this for him. And he just wants to respect that.

“Ah, Jungkook…” You moan out his name, fuck, you must be close too. “Rub it faster, I’ll come…” You let him know, erratic breaths filling the room.

Jungkook opens his eyes again, gazing down at your pussy. “No, baby.” He strokes faster, slightly lifting his cock from your folds. “This is for me, not you.” He groans, gripping the head of his dick and rubbing it quickly. He starts moaning continuously, the sound is whiney and salacious. He finally slows his movements as he loudly groans, pushing his cock back down to your folds again and warm cum starts spilling from his throbbing member.

You’re met with such a hot, wet feeling. His cum coats and soaks the top of your pussy, the seed dribbling down your folds. Jungkook is still moaning above you, wet sounds as he still slowly strokes his dick. His eyes focused on the way his cum covers your cunt in white. The sight alone could make him come again.

“Jungkook…” You cry out, “Holy fuck,” Your hips stir like crazy, swiveling in dire need. “I was so close too…”

“Don’t worry, you’ll be coming soon.” He sighs out, his hand finally coming to a stop. Eyes still on your pussy that is coated in his cum. “And I will finally give you something you want.” He tells you, out of breath.

“What?” You ask but then suddenly you feel his fingers at the back of your head, untying the blindfold and it drops from your eyes. You shy away from the sudden brightness the room offers, not yet totally adjusted to the light.

“I wouldn’t take this from you…” He whispers, lowering himself to kiss you. Lips barely giving you a proper kiss since he’s still breathing so erratically. You blink at nothing until he raises his head to look down at you. He’s got a layer of sweat coating his skin, beads gathered at his hairline and they slide down the sides of his face.

“You look so fucking sexy.” You breathe out, eyes on his eyes.

“You.” He whispers, lowering his face to your chest to kiss over your breasts. He goes lower and lower, lips pecking your hips, your pelvis. You watch as his dark eyes stare up at you before he’s licking his cum off the top of your cunt. He looks forever lost in you. And then your body goes rigid the moment he’s wrapping his lips around your bundle of nerves and his tongue is lazily moving. The right amount of pressure though. Pleasure instantly returning as he eats your pussy.

“Fuck,” You relax, eyes filling with more lust he’s ever seen. His tongue moves faster, harder against you and you’re squeezing your thighs on either side of his face, hips moving in rhythm. You’re moaning again, louder this time and he’s groaning so heavenly. The pleasure is building fast, it’s climbing and ready to jump off the highest of cliffs. You can’t wait to feel the sensation of free falling as you come all over his tongue. “Close, close, close.” You pant.

And then he fucking pulls away. You almost want to scream, the pleasure comes to an abrupt stop. You’re left with desperate movements and moans and he does nothing but smile at you. “Look at you, y/n.” He wipes his mouth, “Look at what I’m doing to you, my baby.”

“Holy fuck, Jungkook…” Your wrists are pulling so hard at the silk tied around them, your brows pulled together in painful frustration.

“Your eyes are watering.” He tells you proudly. “Going to cry for me?” He taunts you, “Going to cry because I ripped away the thing you wanted most?”

“Jungkook, Jungkook…” You feel dizzy.

“I’m going to fuck you now.” He says, voice deeper than before. “Going to fuck you really hard. Going to fuck you so hard that you do cry.”

You blink back the sting in your eyes, “Jungkook…”

“Could you imagine that?” He continues to taunt you, expression growing darker. “Miss little control freak crying because I own the pleasure she wants to feel so badly? You’d look a little pathetic, wouldn’t you?” He asks before speaking slowly, “And so fucking sexy.”

You stare up at him, brows still furrowed as his words process in your mind and you feel your pussy throb. Why are you enjoying this so much? Why are you ready to give yourself up for him? Why? Fucking why are you losing yourself to his words alone?

Jungkook’s lips curve into a dark smile, he reaches over you, fingers at your wrists as he quickly undoes the knots he created when this night first began. You’re free. Your wrists are free. And you don’t waste any time in pulling him down, crashing your lips to his, moaning into his mouth with zero shame. He’s never heard you like this. So fucking needy. So fucking loud.

He pulls away, dark eyes piercing into yours. “Turn over and raise your ass for me.”

You gulp, entire body weak yet it listens to Jungkook’s demand, shaky limbs turning until your knees land on the mattress. Ass raised for him. His hands go to the sides of your hips, rubbing your skin so soothingly. He gets on his knees himself, positioning himself behind you.

“Ah, fuck.” He rubs his hardening cock against your cheeks. “You’re all mine…” He says, hands rubbing the swell of your ass now, massaging your skin. “Are you enjoying this?”

“Y-Yes.” You moan, cheek pushing against the pillow. “You can…you can spank me, if you want.” You close your eyes in satisfaction at the way he’s massaging your cheeks, cock rubbing against you.

“Yeah?” He sounds pleased. “Good to know.” He squeezes your ass in his hands. “I have the condom here, hold on…” He reaches down to the mattress and you hear the packet rip and you imagine he’s rolling the condom on. “You’re still feeling okay?” He asks, one hand going to your ass, fingers exploring before you feel the tips of his fingers between your thighs, brushing over your folds, spreading them.

“Yes…” You sigh in content, “I really need you.”

“Yeah?” He asks you, his other hand wrapping around his hard length. “You miss my cock inside you, huh?” “Fuck, I do…” His fingers rub against your clit for a moment before he’s pulling his hand away. “I need it so badly, Jungkook…I need you so badly.”

“Careful, baby.” He releases a long breath, position his member at your entrance, the tip poking against you teasingly. “Almost sounds like you’re getting desperate for me.”

“I am, Jungkook.” You moan, squeezing your eyes shut when he starts pushing himself forward. “God, I am…you’re making me go crazy.” You admit, breathing heavily as you feel the head of his cock get sucked into your pussy, walls hugging him.

“Oh, y/n…” He tries to breathe, “Fuck, you feel…” He pushes forward more, also using his hands to guide you backwards, pushing yourself onto his cock. “Amazing.”

Your legs are weak, shaky, your pussy stretching as he inserts himself more into you, inch by inch he is disappearing. It burns, his size splitting you apart but it feels so good. He’s thrusting forward softly, sighing heavily as he gives you time to adjust.

“How are you feeling? Hm? My pretty girl?” His hands rub your hips soothingly again, his body so tense as he controls his desire to fuck you.

“Good.” You swallow hard, “Fuck, Jungkook, please, please, please…” You push your ass back more, “Fuck me.” You plead, your body moving on its own. You start moving your hips, needing more friction but Jungkook grips your hips tightly, stopping you from moving.

Then one hand leaves your hip and you’re gasping, tightening around his cock the moment you feel his palm slapping against your ass. “I’m fucking you.” He groans. “Not the other way around.”

Your legs shake more. Your walls gripping his length with insane arousal. “Jungkook…” You cry out, “Please.”

“I know, baby.” He rubs the spot he just slapped. “I’m going to make you feel,” He starts pulling out of you, cock brushing against your walls with tender movements. “So fucking good.” He pushes forward again, pelvis meeting your ass, making it jiggle. “So good.” He slides out again slowly before slapping his hips into you more roughly.

You moan, body jolted forward when he starts repeating that same motion. He’s slow to pull out but he’s quick to thrust into you. Hitting you deeper and deeper each time. Your elbows are barely holding you up, your arms slide up, head completely buried in the pillow. Jungkook rocks into you, fucking you in rhythm now. His moans mix with the sound of his skin slapping your skin.

“God, I love having you like this.” He almost growls, voice so deep, rumbling in his throat. “Fucking you like this, yeah,” His breaths are heavy, rough, almost a cry for help. “You look so fucking gorgeous…” He thrusts faster, “Your ass…” He squeezes it before slapping it again making you cry out. “Fuck.” He yells out aggressively, “My baby.”

Your stomach tenses, your knees wobble, your throat feels rawer from how loudly you’re moaning for him. The angle he has himself in is making you feel like you could come around his cock alone. He’s hitting the spot inside that you that has an orgasm threatening to erupt. “Jungkook…” You whine, eyes still slammed shut. “Fuck,”

Jungkook hands going under you, at your lower stomach before he’s urging you to lift yourself, “Come on, baby.” He groans, “Come on…”

“Can’t,” You whimper, “So fucking tired.”

“Baby, come on…” He keeps fucking you, cock sliding into you roughly, no pain, just pleasure.

You try your best, weak arms lifting your upper body and he helps you, his arms wrapped around your waist, lifting you towards him, back meeting his chest. Your head rolls back, landing above his shoulder, neck completely exposed as you breathe heavily, moaning with furrowed brows.

“Jungkook.” You quietly cry out his name, barely even a whisper. He keeps rocking into you from behind, sweat dripping from his hairline. His lips connect to the side of your neck, sucking into your skin and you moan more. “I—”

Suddenly, his fingers find your clit, wet and messy as he rubs it with his usual skill that makes you feel even weaker. Brows pinched together so strongly, pleasure skyrocketing. “Come like this first,” He says in your ear, lips kissing down your neck again. “Come for me, fuck, want to feel you squeezing my cock.” Your hands go behind you, feeling the back of his head, fingers threading through his damp hair.

He’s still fucking you so deeply, fingers bringing you somewhere so dangerous. Jungkook starts fucking even faster when he feels how you get tighter, your drawn out moans almost sounding like you’re on the verge of ecstasy. You’re saying words neither of you understand, eyes opening to glance down at his tatted hand at your pussy, fingers lost between your folds.

Your orgasm is around the corner, building up so nicely, your teeth digging into your bottom lip, shameless cries leaving your mouth as he pushes onto your clit harder. And that’s it. Your mouth falls open, heavy pants escaping as you start coming. You come and come, squeezing his cock and he groans loudly at the feeling.

“Fuck, yes.” He moans for you, “You’re amazing, baby…keep coming for me.” He keeps fucking into you, your body so tense as you continue to come around him. You’re unable to make another sound. Lips parted, breaths erratic. Vision blurry. Your body goes limper, growing so weak as Jungkook holds you up.

“Jungkook.” You moan his name, “Fuck…” You drag the word through your teeth, your grip on his hair loosening. He slows down his thrusts, kisses on your neck and shoulder. Jungkook eases you back to the mattress, his chest still sticking to your back as he keeps fucking you, slower, deeper. You’re dizzy again. His cock is making you dizzy.

“Let’s turn you around again,” He kisses the back of your shoulder before rising from your body, cock momentarily leaving your hole as he tries to flip you over carefully. You’re tired. Fucked out. Eyes so heavy but lust still lingers. He’s at a loss of words because he’s never seen you look this incredible. “Are you losing yourself to me, y/n?” He whispers before sliding his member back into you, making your eyes open wider, your hands going to his chest, fingernails digging into his skin.

“You’re…” You struggle to speak, “Not done with me, are you?”

“No.” He leans down, kisses your parted lips. He grabs your leg and lifts it to his shoulder, his cock sliding deeper than before. You gasp, eyes stinging again. “You’re going to cry for me.” And then he’s moving into you, faster, deeper, rolling his hips as he struggles himself. He’s so close, closer than close. He’s going to come. But he needs you to come again first.

“Fuck, Jungkook…you’re—” His fingers are back on your clit and you slam your eyes shut.

“No,” He leans forward, rocking into you with enough force. “Look at me.”

You struggle to pry your eyes open, tears filling them because you think you’re going to explode. Your body is on fire, flames surrounding you both. He gazes into your teary eyes, an excited but endeared glint can be seen before he’s kissing you. Lips devouring yours as he fingers work so expertly and you’re whimpering into his mouth, a few tears sliding down your cheeks as you come again.

Jungkook pulls away, his own eyes heavy, “Good girl.” He moans, his hips slapping into you before he’s groaning loudly. “I’m coming.” He cries out, hips stilling. You feel dead but you still manage to wrap your arms around his back, fingers stroking his skin as he comes.

His face is barely distanced from yours, his hot, heavy breaths fall to your lips. His entire expression so focused until he’s kissing you, smiling as he does so. His body losing all energy as well before he’s struggling to hold himself up. You both wince the moment he begins to slip his softening member out from you, a soft whine leaving you both. Another peck to your lips before he rolls over your body, fingers on himself as he discards the used condom.

“Wow,” You murmur tiredly, eyes closed as you remain dizzy from everything.

“I’m going to grab some water, we need some.” Jungkook says, still uneven breaths. “Just relax, don’t get up.”

Well, you were not even planning on it. You don’t think your body is even capable of moving. Your limbs have retired, giving up and leaving you useless. You hum noncommittally, too tired to even drape your arm over your eyes to save you from the light.

Jungkook isn’t gone long, you feel the bed dip near your side as Jungkook sits next to you. You crack open an eye and you see a tall glass of water in one hand. “Drink slowly.” He nudges the cold glass against your cheek and you groan. “Come on.”

Tired, you try to sit up a little, still dizzy. In multiple ways. “Okay,” You reach for the glass but he still holds on to it too, helping you sip the water. Almost instantly, your body and head start to ease from the dizziness. Damn, you really did need some.

“How are you feeling?” Jungkook’s hand brushes against the top of your leg. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah.” You glance at him before taking another sip. “I’m really tired though.” You chuckle at your own admission, “You really did a number on me.”

Jungkook grins a little at this, a brow lifting. “Did I?”

“Mhm.” You sink back down, head in the pillows.

“And how did it feel? Did you enjoy yourself?” He asks you, fingers still stroking your leg. “I didn’t cross any lines, did I?”

“No,” You weakly shake your head, “You made me feel really good…I enjoyed it. Enjoyed you.” You mumble quietly, eyes closing again. “I do feel kind of gross though…but god, I am so tired.”

“Don’t worry, I came prepared.” He chuckles, hand leaving your leg to wave around a wet towel, despite the fact you aren’t looking at him. “We can shower when we wake up,” Then he looks down at the sheets. “But we should still change the sheets regardless.”

“Good idea.” You whisper, “Help me up then.”

He smiles down at you, his hands going to your body to help you rise from the bed. He’s so gentle with you, his warm hands feel like your safe zone. You laugh because it almost tickles how weak you are, Jungkook keeps his hands on you. He passes you the towel as he starts cleaning up around the bed, replacing the sheets and all. You clean yourself up.

After everything is replaced and you’re both not totally gross…he hands you some boxers and one of his t shirts, you easily slide back into his bed, body relaxing against the fresh sheets. And then you get the shock of your life—Jungkook’s hands reach for you, his arm sliding beneath you before he’s pulling you into him. A content sigh leaving his mouth.

You blink at nothing, the dark room in sight but you’re still trying to process the cuddling. You two never cuddle in bed. Never. After sex, you’ve always just felt good enough to be near one another. But you ease into his body very naturally…his scent and touch enough to make you close your eyes again. If you’re honest, this kind of affection after the night you two have had, feels good. Feels right.

You wake up with the featherlike feeling of Jungkook’s fingertips outlining the curve of your figure, soft strokes on your hip. Your shirt is has ridden up, his hand coming from behind you as he touches you so innocently. You’re facing away from him, his body forming your own as he snuggles into you from behind.

“Hi.” You speak groggily, turning in his embrace to face him. “You’re already awake?”

“Yeah.” He hums, eyes finding yours. “For a little while now.”

“Oh.” You swallow, “Sorry…you should have waken me.”

“When do I ever wake you?” He smiles lazily, “I was just relaxing so it’s okay. But I am getting hungry…should we make breakfast?”

“Br—oh, yes.” You return his smile, “What should we make?”

“Lots of stuff. To…you know, replenish the rest of our energy.” He winks at you and you feel an undeniable heat creep up the back of your neck, spreading to your cheeks. “Come on.”

It took more than one ‘come on’ for Jungkook to actually get you to get out of bed, but finally, you decided to get up and wash up before heading to the kitchen. Jungkook is already at the stove, eggs in a pan as he sings some tune. You step towards him, making it to his side and as soon as he feels you, he glances your way.

“Can you make me a glass of water?” He asks you, eyes going down to the eggs.

“Sure.” You nod, about to turn away from him before you feel his hand on your lower back, you look at him and he’s leaning in, lips finding yours for a kiss.

“Thanks.” He mumbles against your mouth, “Should be done soon.” And then he turns back towards the stove, a satisfied yet soft smile on his face. You stare at his side profile for a moment, warmth enveloping you as you watch him. As always, he’s making your body react in ways that you don’t feel like finding an explanation for. Parts of your body that don’t require to be physically touched to feel good. Places like your heart but that sounds lame so you’ll push that thought away.

You shake your head a little, forcing your feet to move away from him.

After a little while, you and Jungkook are sitting at his table with plates of food in front of you. He’s already digging in, mouth full and content hums as he enjoys it. You laugh a little, taking a few bites of your own breakfast. It feels nice. Just sitting together, eating, enjoying the company. The peace.

“So,” Jungkook lifts his big eyes towards you, a loud swallowing sound as he downs his food. “Can I ask you something?” He takes another bite of his eggs, chewing, waiting for your answer.

You raise your brows a little, head nodding. “Sure.” “Your rules,” He says, still chewing. “Um,” He finally swallows. “Can you give me an actual explanation for why they exist? You know,” He lightly gestures between you both with tender eyes, “Between us.”

You gaze at him, sighing in defeat because it’s not like you can’t talk to him…him of all people. So, you slightly nod, shoulders shrugging. “Expectations. Disappointments.” You say simply, as if the two words go into a deep explanation.

Jungkook narrows his eyes, frown on his face. “What about them?”

“So there isn’t expectations.” You mumble, “You can’t expect anything from me…me for you. And no one can get disappointed.”

“I don’t really get it.” He admits, carefully.

“Example,” You exhale a deep breath. “Rule number 3. A rule you always break, by the way!” You playfully roll your eyes, small smile on your face before your lips drop. “Say I get used to it. I would start expecting it, wouldn’t I? Then I would start overthinking if you suddenly just stopped.” You shrug again, “I don’t know, that philosophy works for all the rules I think.”

“Oh.” He subtly nods, eyes going down to his food before he’s eating again. He’s quiet as he eats, chewing as he thinks.

“Anyway—”

“—You think we would end up disappointing one another somehow?” He swallows his food, eyes going back to you. “Isn’t that a really negative way to think about it?”

“Negative or realistic?” You chuckle bitterly, “That’s life, Jungkook.”

“That’s not life, actually.” He furrows his brows, clearly concentrating his attention on you. His gaze makes you feel smaller. But then he brushes it off, small smile before he’s going back to breakfast. “Sound like you already have expectations, y/n.”

“I don’t—”

“—It’s not a bad thing,” He assures you softly. “And for the record, you wouldn’t disappoint me. Not when it comes to the rules.” Jungkook tells you, “It’s funny…sometimes you lack confidence,” Then he smirks. “Yet you still know how to act so cocky.” He lifts a thumb to the corner of your mouth, “You’re cute. But let’s work on that.”

He watches you, lips curved into the cutest smile as you give him the middle finger. His insides are melting, turning into gooey liquid and he’s wondering, truly wondering, if this is something he can actually do. His smile only grows and his heart only beats faster when you stick your tongue out and go back to your food.

Yeah, he isn’t so sure he’s cut out for this. Because this just might not be enough. But he doesn’t want your ‘expectations’ and ‘disappointments’ to make sense. Because he is the one most understanding how they make absolute perfect fucking sense.

~~~

“I am crazy proud of you, dude.” Taehyung is still hugging you tight to his body, “You’re going to do amazing!” He still does not let go. He rocks you back and forth and his arms are wrapped so tightly. “Proud, proud, proud!” He chants.

“Okay, okay.” You laugh into his chest, patting his back. “I get it. Thank you, thank you.”

“I’m proud of you too, y/n. I’d also give you a hug but Taehyung might start barking and growling at me or whatever.” Yoongi tells you with a gummy smile. “Still, accepting your promotion is a huge deal.”

“Of course it is a huge deal.” Namjoon takes a seat at the table that the server just brought you all too, “Hence why we are celebrating.”

“Sorry that only we could make it, y/n.” Jimin pouts, taking a seat next to Namjoon. “Jin and Hoseok feel terrible about not being able to come.”

“Ah, it’s not a big deal.” You keep patting Taehyung’s back. “Okay, let go of me already, dude.” You tell him but he doesn’t let go of you fully, just placing you at arm’s length.

“See? I was being hard on you because I needed you to open your eyes! Now look how excited you are about this promotion!”

“Yeah, yeah.” You roll your eyes, “Right.”

“You don’t believe me?” He cocks a brow at you, “You know what they say about me. I have a method for everything, y/n.”

“Totally, totally.”

“For real though…” Taehyung gets more serious, “You’re going to love this new position…you were made to shine like this.” He smiles now, finally dropping his hands. “What did Jungkook say when you told him?”

“He’s proud too.” You smile, “He should be here any minute…Ara too.”

“Oh.” Taehyung smirks to himself, “Ara, Ara. The love of my life.”

“Stop.” You glare at him, “You just like that she hates you.”

“Hates me?” He pretends to look shocked, “She’s totally in—”

“—Finish that sentence and I’ll consider murder. Super planned out, never get caught kind of murder.” Ara cuts in, heavy sigh leaving her mouth as she walks between you both.

“That’s so flattering,” Taehyung puts a hand over his heart, “You’d plan something that meticulous for me? You’d spend that much time on me?”

“Something is seriously so wrong with you.” Ara shakes her head.

“Yet is does it for you, doesn’t it?” He grins at her.

“Anyway,” Ara turns to you, giving you a quick but tight hug. “Congrats on the promotion!”

“Thanks, thanks.” You tell her, gesturing towards the table so you can all sit with everyone else. “I was so nervous when I was going to accept it! Ah, but when my boss came to check on another project…I kind of just blurted out that I would take it.”

“Seems like your subconscious made the decision.” Ara laughs, taking a seat next to you.

“I guess so.” You giggle, “He says I can give the main presentation tomorrow to one of our teams as like a test run. So I was preparing all day!”

“You’re going to kill it!” Taehyung takes a seat next to Ara, “And—”

“—Why me?” She groans, “Sit on the other side of y/n.”

“Uh,” Taehyung gives Ara a pointed look. “Jungkook is going to want to celebrate right next to our promoted princess.”

“Oh yeah.” Ara blinks, head nodding. “So true.”

“Jungkook would survive not sitting next to me guys.” You deadpan.

“I don’t know,” She shrugs. “Even yesterday when we met for drinks…Jungkook didn’t want be anywhere if you weren’t right there.”

“T-That’s not true.” You defend, cheeks heating up.

“It is true.” Taehyung says nonchalantly, he and Ara share a look, “Childhood friends are close like that.” He nods, “I’m actually going crazy because I’m not right next to y/n either.” Taehyung offers a very straight face and Ara returns it.

“I can imagine.” She nods.

“You guys are annoying.” You laugh, “But speaking of Jungkook…” You pull your phone out, “He’s taking forever. Oh he called. Let me send him another—”

“—Well, maybe I would have been here earlier if you would have told me where this table was located! Or you know, answered my calls.” Jungkook suddenly has his hand on the back of your chair, “I’ve been searching for you guys everywhere.”

“Hey man.” Yoongi nods up at Jungkook.

“My bad…” Jimin looks at his own phone, “Didn’t feel my phone.”

“You’re here.” You turn your head to look at him, bright smile. He immediately looks down at you and he returns your smile.

“Hi.” He says, eyes only on you now. “Congratulations.” He grins, hand going to your shoulder as he squeezes it gently. “I’m really happy for you.”

“Thank you.” You answer, hand patting the seat next to you. “I’m a little nervous.”

Jungkook sits next to you, his fingers itching to give you comfort but he is trying to respect rule number 2. “That’s normal. But you’ll be great.” He assures you with just words instead. You gaze at him, eyes clearly still holding some doubts but you take a long, deep breath before leaning into him, head resting on his shoulder.

“If you think so maybe I will be.” You tell him, trying to gain some confidence.

“You will be.” He tells you quietly, a little surprised you’re leaning against him so openly but what really shocks him is when your fingers find his on his lap, you grip them softly before you lean away from him again, your attention on Ara when she says something. But your hand remains on his.

Jungkook tries to breathe normally. It isn’t a big deal. But these sudden nerves remind him of the first time he ever kissed you when he was 14 years old. All nerves and no chill. He clears his throat, his hand giving yours a gentle squeeze as he tries to join in on the conversation Namjoon and Yoongi are having. But then, you pull your hand away to reach for a water the server just brought as you continue chatting with Ara

He hates that he feels disappointed.

Oh. Wait. No…he gulps, throat drier than before.

He stares at nothing for a moment, trying to rid that thought with the shake of his head. “Jin and Hoseok couldn’t come or?” He asks Namjoon.

“Jin is on a business trip until Monday and Hoseok is sick.” Yoongi answers for him. “Hoseok wanted to come anyway but he sounded horrible on the phone.”

“Eh, probably for the best then.” Jungkook chuckles. He glances around the table, watching how Namjoon and Yoongi continue to talk, Jimin and Taehyung chatting about going out this weekend and Ara telling you about some guy.

He stares at your side profile as you speak, your hands moving around animatedly, words falling from your mouth…something about how this guy is funny and cute…and then he’s noticing an uneasiness. What guy? Expectation and disappointment lingering as he tries to listen more carefully.

“You guys really seem to get along,” You continue, “A perfect match!”

Oh. Jungkook relaxes. You’re talking about the guy for Ara. Disappointment averted. Expectation rising. He continues to gaze at you, a lazy smile starts growing on his lips as he watches and listens to you. You’re so cute. Pretty. Bea—everything. He wishes you’d believe him more when he says that to you. He rests his chin in his hand as he keeps staring.

“You’re so pretty today.” He suddenly blurts. You whip your head towards him, blinking repeatedly before you snort.

“Oh.” You laugh awkwardly, “I look the same as usual.”

Ara and Taehyung look at you both as well. “So you’re pretty every day.” Ara sings out.

“Well, according to Jungkook.” Taehyung whispers towards Ara and she swats his arm and he pretends he’s wounded, chuckling to himself. “But anyway, Ara…” He pouts at her. “Who is this guy you are even seeing?”

“Someone who really likes me.” She grins at him, proud glint in her eyes. But Taehyung squints at her.

“But you like me.”

“Nope.” She raises her nose in the air, “Not a chance.”

“So,” You eye Jungkook over, “You think I’m pretty today?” You ask him, voice directed only towards him as everyone chats. He doesn’t doubt the blush on his cheeks.

“You know this already.” He tells you, “But I still like telling you.”

It’s like his words are the match that lights a fire to your skin. You try to conceal an undoubtedly shy smile. Hating that like usual, he gives you such reactions. “Then thank you.” You mumble, still trying not to smile. You lean into him again, hand landing on his thigh. “Sometimes I can tell you aren’t teasing.” You say playfully, fingers squeezing his muscular thigh before bringing your hand back to your own lap.

Jungkook feels the absence of your touch again. And again, he’s disappointed. And then your words on expectations ring louder than ever. He finally gets it. Because he wants to expect this—your touch, words, anything. He wants that and he’s disappointed otherwise. He hates that you were the one with the worries but all along he’s the one understanding them.

“You’re affectionate today.” He mumbles quietly, eyes locked on yours. You raise your brows a bit, trying to think about it when you smile, looking a little embarrassed.

“Sorry, sorry…I didn’t—”

“—It’s okay. It’s kind of a relief I’m not the only one who broke a rule today.” He says, eyes looking a little more distant as he stares at you. “But…” He looks down for a moment, brows furrowed. “I think I broke a whole new rule. Well, I’m admitting it but it’s probably been broken.”

You study him, confusion falling onto your features, “What do you—”

Suddenly, his eyes rise again and he looks more determined. “Can we talk? Outside?”

You blink a few times, mouth fallen open. “Now?” You look around, “But—”

“—Please.” He says the word softly.

“Okay.” You sense how serious he is about talking so you agree. You excuse yourself from everyone else with Jungkook following. You both head outside of the restaurant, finding a quiet and empty spot on the side of the building. Jungkook leans against the wall, his eyes so focused on your face.

“So?” You sway into the wall as well, “Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know.” He takes a breath, “Maybe?”

“What’s going on?” You take a one step towards him and his hands want to reach out for you but he controls them.

“I broke all of the rules.” He tells you simply. His eyes serious, with the slight furrow of his brows. “Every single one.”

“What?” You ask, looking genuinely confused. He can’t help but crack a smile, a weird relief flowing through his veins…because you’re just you.

“I had a hunch I was breaking it but I I’ve confirmed it.” He smiles at you. “Rule number one, I broke it a while back. I told my mom.” He grins now while you gape at him.

“What?!”

“Not a big deal,” He shrugs, “She liked the whole idea.”

“Jung—”

“—I guess I broke the second rule a few times. Rule number three, I clearly just didn’t believe in that one. Rule number four, first of all, fuck that rule.” He keeps smiling at you.

“You break it!” You scold him.

“Thank god that I do.” He shrugs again, devious smile on his face but then he softens considerably. “And rule number five,” He takes a deep breath. “I broke that one too. I’m breaking it now. It might even be the first rule that I broke.”

You process all his words very slowly. Starting from the beginning…but your brain is catching up. You don’t even separate your lips. They stay glued to one another as you look at Jungkook with pure confusion.

“I know you don’t really get it.” He says softly, lips spreading into a barely there smile. “Since you’re such a stickler for the rules.”

“Are…” You finally try to speak, head shaking a little. “Are you saying you …?”

“That I have feelings for you?” He looks up at the night sky, “Yeah, breaking rule number five would mean that, wouldn’t it?”

“Jungkook…” You say his name slowly.

“I know. I get it.” He looks back at you, nothing but a content expression. “But for obvious reasons we should stop this fun little arrangement because I was right…” He chuckles, “I am not cut out for it.”

“Then—”

“—And please don’t hate me. I want to stay and celebrate but I also want to give you some space to think and process and what not.”

“Process?” You blink at him.

“I don’t really know. Maybe it’s me…is it okay if I go home for now? I promise,” He looks at you sincerely, “This won’t change our friendship, y/n. But can I have just a couple days to work through it by myself?”

You really don’t know how to respond. Your throat feels dry. You only nod at him.

And just like always, he makes you entire body react. Including your fucking heart.

You’re sure everyone could tell you were acting strange during your celebratory dinner. It doesn’t take a genius to understand that after Jungkook left you got into a down mood…no one knows why, of course. You still tried to have fun with your friends despite the giant hole that’s broken your chest apart.

You told everyone that Jungkook had a sudden work thing he had to take care of and they bought it—well, you think so anyway. Doesn’t matter. It’s now almost 11pm and you’re trying to focus on tomorrow’s presentation but Jungkook is the only thing you’re really thinking about. You keep opening and closing your laptop, thinking maybe you’ll get something done but you keep glancing at your phone. You need to talk about this.

Finally, you reach for your phone, fingers poking at the screen harshly as you try to make the phone call you are trying so desperately for. Ringing. It’s ringing. Still ringing. Words risen from your throat, so close to spilling shamelessly from your mouth. You take a deep breath…you need an answer.

“Hello?” Finally.

“I lied earlier.” You blurt quickly, needing to get things off your chest now.

“Hm,” Ara hums out softly, “Let me guess?”

“You won’t—”

“—Just get into why Jungkook left earlier. Wasn’t for work, so…?”

“Oh.” You grip your phone a little tighter, pushing it against your ear. “You knew I lied about that?”

“I didn’t think you were so freaking sad just because he had to leave for a work thing.” Ara chuckles softly, “You’re more easy going than that.”

“I wasn’t that sad.” You keep your voice even.

“You took two bites of your food, y/n.” Ara says with the kind of tone that you know she rolled her eyes. “What happened?”

“God, okay.” You sigh out, “Remember how you thought…or you know…you know how I’m hooking up with someone?”

“I do know that, yes.” She responds calmly. “You’ve been seeing someone for a little while now.”

“Well,” You take another deep breath. “I’ve been sleeping with Jungkook. Since the night of the dare…when Taehyung made—”

“Yeah, I know the night.” She laughs into the phone, “We knew it was going to turn out like this.”

“Yeah, so—wait, what?”

“What?”

“What do you mean?” You ask her slowly, “Knew what?”

Ara is quiet for a moment before you hear her release a long breath, “It’s not like we didn’t know.” She says.

“Who the hell is ‘we’?” You furrow your brows, phone pressing closer to your ear. “Ara?”

“Hmm,” Her voice is light and airy, “Well, you know what they say about Taehyung.”

Your brows only pull together closer…what does that mean? You try to think about it because what do they say about—oh. Your mouth falls open as realization hits you. “That he has a method for everything.” You say, putting it together now.

“Mhm.” Ara laughs faintly, “So I’m probably not the one you want to be talking to. You thought cupid was a little angel baby. But he’s actually a tall, hot devil. Anyway, I’ll leave you to it.”

“Wait—”

But she hangs up as you hear her laughing on the other side. Wait, wait, wait. You want more time to think and process what she just said but your fingers are moving faster than your brain.

“Hey,” Taehyung answers on the second ring. “What’s up—”

“—Are you home? I’m coming over.” You rush to speak, legs already moving as you find your bag and keys. “I’m leaving now.”

And not even 20 minutes later you’re standing outside of Taehyung’s front door, foot tapping against the ground as you not so patiently wait for him to let you in. You feel like you have waited an eternity but the reality is probably around 15 seconds. But finally his door swings open and Taehyung is here.

“Hello…” You narrow your eyes at him, speaking slowly. “Cupid.”

Taehyung’s eyes go wide before his lips settle into an annoying ass smile, smug and knowing. “Oh?” He crosses his arms over his chest before continuing, “I’ve been found out?”

You squint even harder at him, lips set into a firm line before you push past him, making your way inside his place. “Please explain to me whatever the hell Ara said about you.” You walk inside, getting comfortable on his loveseat. But then you tilt your head, “Why does Ara know? You told her?”

Taehyung closes the door before following you inside, “Uh, I praise Ara all the time for her incredible intuition. Her and I would make the smartest fucking kids.”

“You know what…whatever. Just explain to me what she means when she says you have a method for everything.”

“Well, where to start?” He asks, voice all cocky before he sits next to you.

“Uh, the beginning. So the day I got dumped. The night you dared—”

“—You think that’s the beginning?” Taehyung cuts in, laughter threatening to erupt. “Oh wow, no.” He shakes his head, “I’ve been playing the long game.”

“What?” You look at him incredulously, “What does that even mean?”

“It means you guys are dumb and I’m the best friend ever.” He says lightheartedly.

“You are the last person I would think would play cupid, Taehyung. You don’t even like romantic love!” you shout at him.

“But you guys do!” He shouts back. “Um, news flash, you guys are my best friends and I wanted to help out.” He shrugs now, “It all started back when Jungkook was 14.”

“Huh?” You blink at him, mouth open. Not totally getting it.

“Oh, poor Jungkook had the hugest crush on you, y/n.” Taehyung shakes his head, eyes down at his hands, looking solemn. “It was genuinely tragic because you didn’t even register he was of the opposite sex.”

“For real?” You deadpan.

“For real.” He nods, still solemn before he lifts his head and smirks. “But I had a genius plan.”

“The fucking first kiss.” You tell him.

“Yup, so genius.” Taehyung looks proud, “He still hadn’t had his first kiss because only lips he was thinking about was…” He pretends to gag, “…yours…”

“Shut up.” You roll your eyes, “But continue.”

“Anyway, I told him we should just ask you!” He gestures towards you, “It’s not like it was a big deal to you anyway. He was like guy number 4 for you.”

Your cheeks grow warm, “Well...”

“So yeah. Genius plan. But I didn’t know you were going to stick your tongue in his mouth and I didn’t know he was going to bite you.” Taehyung cackles, shrugging his shoulders. “Classic, classic.”

“Oh god…” You feel yourself grow embarrassed.

“Anyway, you vowed you’d never do that again and poor Jungkook was so traumatized from your reaction but well,” Taehyung shrugs again. “At least he got over you for a little while.”

“Taehyung—”

“That’s when I helped Jungkook.” Taehyung leans back onto his sofa, “I helped you the night I made you guys make out.”

“What are you talking about?” You ask him slowly, body tense but you try to mirror his body as you lay back into the couch cushion as well.

“I was helping both of you actually.” He chews his lips for a moment, “God, I would have done so earlier but you kept wasting your time with guys you didn’t even like. Jihoon, for example.”

“Oh.” You nod subtly, piecing it together.

“It was pretty obvious you two started hooking up after I dared you guys to make out.”

“How was it obvious exactly?” You eye him suspiciously.

“First, goodness gracious, the sexual tension was…” He brings his pinched fingers to his lips and gives them a kiss. “And also, I have both of your locations. You were always at his and he was at yours…especially at 2 in the morning…technology wasn’t on your side.” He says with a straight face.

“Damn…it never is.” You say with an equally straight face.

“So…you guys are…” He motions his hands around.

“Yeah, we were hooking up, Taehyung.”

“Were?”

“I had five simple rules.”

Taehyung looks at you, almost comically ashamed. “Should have guessed.”

“Rule number one, no one can know.” You begin listing them, “Rule number two, no pda. Rule number three, no pet names. Rule number four, not often, just three times a week.”

Taehyung looks at you with obvious disapproval before he silently mouths, ‘lame as fuck’. But you continue, “And rule number five…no feelings.”

“Okay…” He says slowly.

“He broke all of the rules. All of them. He told me.”

“…Okay.” He says slowly again, as if waiting for the point. “Is that supposed to be bad?”

You stare at him before snorting, “Uh, it’s weird! We’re best friends and now he apparently…it’s weird, right?”

“Uh, you guys are already fucking. Not sure it could get—”

“—I’m serious!”

“I’m serious too!” Taehyung starts laughing. “Y/n…be honest. You broke all the rules too at some point, right?”

“Well,”

“And if I helped you out doesn’t it just mean I’ve known about your feelings before you? Stupid, stupid.” He keeps laughing. “y/n, you broke that fifth rule before you even created it.”

“What?” You look at Taehyung, disbelief on your features. “I did not…well,” You suddenly glance to the side, teeth nibbling into your bottom lip. “Well, I don’t…I don’t know.”

“You do.” Taehyung shrugs. “You know exactly when you realized your feelings for him. Right?”

“No?” You blink at Taehyung, restless eyes now darting all around his living room. “Do I?” You question yourself quietly. “Oh…” You begin to chew on your lips again. “If I had to guess—”

“—You made those rules because like usual…you put restrictions on yourself.” Taehyung cuts in, his voice much softer now. Not much of his usual playfulness. “But the rules don’t matter, y/n. Jungkook was honest with you. Why don’t you try being honest with yourself as well?”

“Are you…” You look at Taehyung, choosing to be careful with your words when you decide you don’t want to be careful with them. “I have feelings for Jungkook too and I should tell him.”

“Well, yeah.” Taehyung chuckles, “He would probably like that.”

“I…” Your body goes limp against the cushion. “Honestly, you’re right but wow, I felt like this would be a bigger revelation.” You mumble more to yourself. “Why doesn’t it feel like I just realized something so insane?”

“Because you realized it years ago.” Taehyung answers you carefully. “You aren’t dumb, y/n. You know exactly when your feelings shifted…I saw it happen but after that it was lame guy after lame guy.”

You stare at the floor, teeth still digging into your lips. “Yeah, maybe.”

“You already know how he feels so isn’t it easy to just…tell him too?”

“Not really.” You sigh out, “I don’t have the confidence to tell him anything to make it all make sense.”

“It’s Jungkook…” Taehyung conceals a smile. “He gets you, no matter how much your ass doesn’t make sense."

~~~

You almost cannot believe it. You killed that presentation. Your boss sat at the end of the table, eyeing you with pride as you spoke so smoothly, going over the presentation like you knew the ins and outs with such expertise. Probably because that’s true. You were awesome, it’s true. You spoke clearly, smoothly and did the right things to keep everyone engaged.

“I knew this was going to be the perfect fit, y/n.” Mr. Kim tells you, big grin on his face. “You were a natural in there and you really know how to lead the team. I got a few new projects I want you to work on…I know you’ll do incredible.” And then he’s giving you a pat on the shoulder before heading to his own office.

You take a seat at your desk, legs shaking in obvious excitement. You can’t contain it. All the praises and the high you feel from presenting in front of a room of a dozen people is so fresh and contagious. Your entire body is tingling and you feel such a sense of motivation. The confidence is continuing to sky rocket and the only place you want to put this energy is into Jungkook.

It's Friday and you aren’t sure if he has plans or not but you have decided to go straight to his apartment right after work. Taehyung was right…you know exactly when your feelings shifted and you know exactly how to word everything. The high you feel has suddenly given you the confidence you need…you’re going to wing it. But somehow you know it will all makes sense.

It’s after 5pm and you’re sitting outside of Jungkook’s apartment door. You aren’t letting yourself in because somehow that feels wrong at this time. But after checking his location you can see he’s still not home from work. It’s after 6pm now. He’s still not home. You check his location again and you see he’s at the store…probably grocery shopping.

Almost 6:30pm when you start to feel anxious again. Too much time is passing and you’re growing further apart from all that confidence and motivation that was running through your veins earlier. You sit here, leg shaking in nerves now. Finally, you hear the distant ding of the elevator down the hall and you just know it’s him. You take a deep breath before standing up from the ground and leaning against his door. He comes towards his door, hands carrying several bags of groceries while he looks at you with big, doe eyes.

“y/n?” He says your name and you feel your muscles tighten. “Why…” He glances around, “Have you just been waiting here?”

“Yes.” You blurt, “I was waiting for you.”

He gazes at you with curious eyes before he lightly snorts, “Why did you wait out here? You should have waited inside.” He smiles now. “But uh, can you actually open the door. My hands are…” He lifts the bags with a sheepish expression and you immediately nod and turn to unlock the door.

“Umm, how was…” Your fingers are pressing against the key pad, “um, your day? How was your day?” You finally get the door open, holding it so Jungkook can slip through.

“It was okay.” He walks past you, his scent hitting your nose. He takes the bags into the kitchen and you follow him. He sets the bags onto the counter before facing you, his attention nowhere on the groceries. “How was yours?”

“Good.” You nod, “I did the presentation and it went so well and now I really need to talk to you.” You step closer towards him and he takes a step back, hands going to the counter as he leans against it.

“Oh, I knew it would go well.” He smiles, eyes sliding to the side. “You just needed a little—”

“—Not here to talk about the presentation.” You cut him off, taking another step. “I—”

“—Well,” His fingers grip the edge of the counter a little, “What exactly—”

“—Rule number one.” Another step, eyes boring into his. “I broke it when I went on that double date.”

Jungkook blinks at you, looking caught off guard. “Huh?”

“Told my date about you. Me and you.” You lift a second finger, “Rule number two, I broke that rule numerous times, didn’t I? First time was when we went to the movies with Jimin and when he wasn’t looking I kissed you. It was in public so I broke the rule. And last night…” You sigh, small smile on your lips. “Broke it again without realizing.”

“What—”

“—Rule number three, I broke that rule the night we were celebrating Jimin’s new found singleness.”

“Or you know, mourning his new found sadness.” Jungkook cracks a smile.

“Oh, right.” You nod, “Sorry I guess Taehyung wore off on me.”

“It happens.” He chuckles, “But—”

“—Rule number four. I broke that rule every single time you wanted me to. You’re right, that rule is the stupidest one.” You smile wider now. “Three times a week? What was I thinking?” You begin to make fun of yourself. “No wonder I didn’t really try very hard to keep you from breaking that one.”

Jungkook eyes you carefully, smile on his lips but it looks unsure.

“And rule number five.” You pause, taking a moment to take a deep breath as your eyes fill with sincerity. “I broke that rule a long time ago.” You admit to him and he scrunches his brows together, almost looks like he’s doubting you.

“Yeah.” You continue, “I broke it the day I graduated from University. The same day I tried to drunk kiss you.” You look at him with a serious expression now and he raises his brows in slight shock and realization. “I was devastated about my mom…but you made me feel like I could move past that sadness because you made me feel so much better.” You frown a little, “That night alone I realized if the only person in this entire world who cheers me on is you…then I could probably be happy about it.”

“y/n…”

“These rules were stupid excuses, Jungkook.” You take another step now. Your eyes going to Jungkook’s hands that grip the counter. “I’m sorry…” You watch as his hands fall from the counter and to his sides. “I was never a stickler for them…god, I am just as bad as you are.”

Jungkook stares at you with big eyes, his fingers twitching because he wants to reach for you.

“Also,” You bite your lip, trying to stop a chuckle from leaving your mouth. “I have another confession.”

“What’s that?” Jungkook’s expression looks soft as his fingers finally go to your waist. Your body losing all of its tension as soon as he touches you.

“You were also my first kiss.” Your entire face feels hot. “I lied about my other kisses…everyone else was always talking about it so…”

“Wow,” Jungkook’s fingers hold onto your waist tighter as his lips spread into a knowing grin. “That explains so much.” He teases you, “I mean…the sudden tongue in my mouth…”

“Hey!” You pout at him, “It wasn’t—”

“—Hey.” He cuts you off, fingers spreading over your blouse before his hands find your lower back and he’s pulling you closer to him. “If it makes you feel better, you’ve really improved.”

You frown theatrically at him before he starts really laughing now, one of his hands leaving your back to come to your face. “Really improved. Best in the world now.” He whispers, playful glint in his eye.

“You’re just saying that.” You roll your eyes, your own hands finding his chest. You splay your fingers across his shirt. “So,” You bite onto your bottom lip.

“So.” He strokes his thumb over your cheek. “I have feelings for you. You have feelings for me.”

“Yeah.” You breathe out, eyes trailing across his face. “What does it mean?” You ask him slowly, carefully. Fingers right over his beating heart. His cheeks turn rosy as he gazes at you, a blush turning him into a pink dream.

“It means we have new rules.” He smiles, teeth poking out adorably. “Five to be exact. And we actually will follow these.”

You quirk a brow at him, “Which are?”

“One…we tell everyone. Everyone has to know you’re mine now. Officially.” He smirks at you, his hand guiding your face closer to his before he plants a kiss to your lips. “Two…I’m going to hold your hands, hug you, kiss you…all the time. Everywhere” Another kiss.

“Jungkook.” You laugh into his mouth before he pulls away again.

“Rule number three…all the fucking pet names. You’re my baby and I’m going to call you that all the time.” Another kiss. “Rule number fucking four.” His hand tightens over your jaw a little, “We are fucking all the time. Like, all the time.”

You laugh, eyes staying on his before he kisses your lips again.

“And rule number five…” He leans back a little, soft eyes gazing at you and you can feel your body react like usual. Heart going crazy. “You should probably go ahead and tell me you’re in love with me now. Have feelings.” He looks at you so lovingly before leaning in again, lips slow to find yours for a long kiss. You sigh into his mouth, heart thumping wildly. “And,” He barely pulls his lips off yours. “You can never break that rule. Because for once, I think we finally found some rules I could follow.”

You pull away from him, just a few fingers lingering on his chest. “You think you can finally listen to me?” You ask him, cocky tone in your voice. “We should put it to the test.”

The corn of Jungkook’s lip start to turn, crooked smile forming on his face. “Yeah? Go ahead and test it, baby. Tell me to do something. You know I would do anything you wanted me to.”

“You would, wouldn’t you?” You can’t help but smirk, front teeth digging into your bottom lip. “Okay,” You slide your fingers down his chest, eyes following as you start messing with the zipper on his pants. “You’ll really do anything I want?” Your eyes rise back to his.

His mouth falls open as he exhales a long breath, eyes already filling with desire. “Anything.”

“Hm,” You lick your lips, eyes glancing around. “Then put away your groceries.” You tell him with the nod of your head, “I can see there’s ice cream. Don’t let it melt.” And then you drop your hand from his body and turn to walk away from him.

Jungkook blinks at where you once stood. His mouth shuts and he conceals the smile that wants to spread so badly, “Fucking tease.” He huffs out, slightly shaking his head.

“I know,” You call out, stopping at the entry of the hallway, a hand on the wall. “But if you want more demands from me, you can meet me in the bedroom when you’re done.” You wink, disappearing into the hall.

“Cocky.” He talks to himself, rolling his eyes and turning his body towards the counter to start putting away the groceries. He chuckles, an endeared smile on his face, “But just like the new rules, I’d follow her to the ends of the Earth.”

#bts #jeon jungkook #Jungkook smut #bts smut #Jungkook fluff #bts fluff #Jungkook angst #bts angst #Jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts fanfic #Jungkook fics #bts x reader #Kim namjoon #Kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #Kim taehyung

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evansbby · 1 year

Text

𝐃𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐲 (𝐏𝐎𝐘𝐓 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐧-𝐨𝐟𝐟)

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: alpha!Bucky Barnes x naive omega!Reader, also featuring: dark alpha!Steve Rogers

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Misogyny, a/b/o dynamics, dubcon, dark Steve, poyt!Steve (yes, he is a warning), mentions of smutt, 18+ minors dni.

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: It’s your first day at college and Bucky, a popular alpha, asks for your number. (This is a spin-off of my fic Preying on You Tonight, exploring what would have happened if Bucky had gotten to omega before Steve. You do not need to read that fic to understand this one).

𝐀/𝐍: It’s finally here! As the writer, all I sincerely ask is for you to read it till the end. I put a lot of hard work into this and it’s been a long time coming. I really hope you give this fic a chance, and I hope you enjoy! This is 16.8k words.

It’s gonna be okay, it’s gonna be okay, it’s gonna be okay. You quietly chant under your breath as you make your way into the intimidatingly large lecture hall. World Politics. It’s a senior class, mostly males, majority alphas. But you’ve managed to get in – the only freshman who was accepted – and it makes your heart flutter with excitement. Maybe they’ll all be impressed, you think to yourself, clutching your bookbag tightly as you make your way inside.

Everyone’s already sat down or milling about in groups. You shoot a few smiles here and there, hoping someone might smile back – but everyone seems busy catching up with their own friends. You sigh – of course, you don’t expect to make friends right away. But you probably will soon.

There’s a pack of intimidating looking guys in the back of the room, they draw your attention because of how loud they’re being as they laugh and joke around. Football players, you think to yourself – they’re all wearing blue jerseys with the university emblem. And they’re all so big and broad. There’s a blond one who seems bigger and scarier than all of them, and there’s also a brunet – also big and intimidating but he looks slightly more laid back than the others.

You snap your head away as soon as he looks in your direction, feeling your cheeks heat up. You’re confident you’ll make friends, but it probably won’t be anyone from the resident campus jock group. Not wasting any more time, you make your way to the front of the lecture hall and take a seat in the very first row. Hopefully, someone else would join you and you could strike up a conversation.

You’re arranging your pens in colour order when your phone vibrates.

Peter: Good luck, babe! I know first days can be hard, but you’re gonna smash it! See you tonight!

Smiling softly, you text your boyfriend a quick response before putting your phone away – the lecture is about to start and you don’t want to miss a single word.

A chorus of loud snickers makes you look back over your shoulder. It’s the group of jock alphas – they’re only a couple of rows behind you now, laughing over something while they look in your direction. You suddenly feel self-conscious, looking over your hoodie for any stains, eyes scanning around your vicinity for anything remotely funny.

You’ve just given up and gone back to opening your notebook when you feel a tap on your shoulder. It’s the brunet alpha, he’s standing next to your desk with a cocky smile on his face.

“Hey, newbie.”

You smile shyly, “Hi.”

“YOU’RE SUCH A DOG, BARNES!” One of the alpha jocks hoots from the back and all the rest of the pack guffaws too, some even making barking sounds. It causes the smile to freeze on your face.

The brunet laughs in his friends’ direction before turning back to you, “Ignore them. You a transfer student or something?”

“No. I’m a freshman. This is my first day.”

“Freshman, huh?” He licks his lips. He’s got nice lips; you think to yourself before inwardly shaking your head in alarm. You have a boyfriend, you remind yourself. But the brunet in front of you also has nice eyes, you can’t help but notice. Light blue and shining, along with scruffy brown hair and a smattering of facial hair. “What’s a little freshman like you doing here? You realise this is a senior class? Are you lost, newbie?”

“No, not lost, I’m meant to be here.” You tell him firmly, “I was interested in this class so I applied for it. I was the only freshman to be accepted.” You hope it doesn’t sound like you’re boasting, you can’t help but feel proud about it.

The brunet nods thoughtfully, “No kidding. You must be very smart.”

You shrug modestly.

“What’s your name, newbie?”

You tell him and he nods, repeating it to himself slowly as if he’s savouring the word.

“I’m James.” He says, “I mean, everyone calls me Bucky but you can call me James.”

You giggle nervously, “Wh-Why do I get to call you that?”

His smile is lop-sided and lazy, and you can’t help but stare. It brightens up his whole face, painting an image of mischief across his features. But he’s not intimidating, not like his friends who continue to hoot and yell behind him. You feel fire on your cheeks because he looks kind of… cute.

Wait. What?

“Pretty girls like you are allowed to call me James.”

The professor chooses that moment to clear his throat as he begins to start up the PowerPoint presentation.

“Well, anyways, newbie. I just came over to say hello. And while I’m here, I was wondering if I could borrow a pen. I forgot mine and you seem to have… a lot.” He gestures to your collection of pens – you have one in just about every colour of the rainbow.

You nod eagerly – you hadn’t expected an alpha jock to be the first one to speak to you at college, but you weren’t complaining.

“Sure! Take your pick,” You say enthusiastically “The blue one doesn’t work too well, but the rest are all good! If you prefer ink pens over ballpoint, I’ve got those too!”

“What about this pink one?”

“Oh,” Your response is less than enthusiastic, “I mean… I always use the pink one. But if you really want it–”

He laughs, reaching out and patting your hand softly. And the touch, despite being seemingly innocuous, sends thrills up and down your spine. You can’t help but think how much bigger his hand is than yours.

“That’s alright, sweetheart. You use the pink one. I’ll take this one instead.” He grabs a green pen, and that’s when you get a strong whiff of his scent. Smoky yet dewy – like a cosy fireplace on a winter morning. Fresh like snow mixing with the earth, like cold rain mingling with a special kind of musk.

Bucky seems to notice how you suddenly pause, your nose twitching as you repeatedly inhale his scent. He chuckles softly, waving a hand in front of your face, “Hey, you still there?”

You shake your head, giving yourself a moment to gather yourself before looking up at him, “Yeah, uh. Yeah, I’m here.”

“Good. Because the lecture’s about to start, and you look like someone who doesn’t want to miss a word.” He winks, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t send shivers of excitement up and down your spine, “Well, thanks for the pen, newbie.”

And then he goes back to join his friends, leaving you with a lightness in your heart, a spark in your eyes and a smile on your lips. You’d always thought jocks were mean, but Bucky – James – had been nice. Maybe it was a sign, a sign that your first year of university perhaps wouldn’t be as daunting as you originally thought.

You risk a glance back at him. He’s sat a few rows behind you, next to his blond friend. The two couldn’t be more different – with Bucky sitting back, relaxed and laughing, the pen you gave him dangling out of his mouth like a cigarette. The blond sits up straight with rigid posture, and he looks sullen, a touch of a scowl on his face as he looks at Bucky. And then he turns, piercing blue eyes glaring right at you.

You turn back to look in front. That can’t be right. This blond jock doesn’t even know you. Sighing, you begin to take notes, the world of politics taking over as you excitably fill page after page.

You’re immensely satisfied when the class ends – it was everything you wanted it to be and more. With the risk of sounding like a nerd – and you are a nerd, you’ll happily admit it – you’d enjoyed every second of the lecture, soaking in every word like a sponge. If this is what all university classes were going to be like, you’d stay forever.

“You look happy, newbie.” It’s Bucky again; the rest of his group is milling around by the exit, and you can’t deny the thrill you feel at the fact that he hung back with you.

“I am happy, wasn’t that just the most fascinating lecture ever? I mean, I’d heard things about this professor, that he’s so mesmerising to listen to. And it’s true!” You sigh almost dreamily, hugging your fresh notes close to your chest, “I feel like I’ve learnt more in this past hour than I did in the entirety of my high school history class.”

Bucky just stares at you, a smile on his face that reaches all the way up, making the sides of his eyes crinkle.

“What?” You ask consciously when he continues to just… look at you.

“Nothing. You’re just very cute, all bright-eyed and enthusiastic. Not like us jaded seniors.”

“BUCKY, LET’S GO.” As if on cue, the blond alpha bellows across the lecture hall.

Bucky seems wholly unperturbed, even as you jump from the loudness of the blonde’s tone.

“Your friend’s calling you,” You shuffle from one foot to the other, unable to ignore how the blond alpha is glaring at the pair of you all the way from the doorway, “He seems really impatient.”

With a wave of his hand, Bucky dismisses this claim, “Oh, don’t mind Steve. He’s just pissy these days because his girlfriend’s being a bitch.”

Oh. You have no idea what to say to that, so you just continue to pack up your things.

“So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?”

“I’m gonna head over to the library,” You answer excitedly, “I’ve heard it’s really, really big. One of the biggest in the country. I got a glimpse of it during orientation, but I’ve got the rest of the day free so today I’m gonna sit in there and catch up on some reading, and may–”

“Why don’t I walk you there?” The brunet offers. And it’s his quiet confidence that gets to you, the way he’s got this small smile on his face, as if he knows you won’t refuse him, “I have a class in that direction anyways. Steve does too. We could both walk you there.”

You glance once more at Steve, who – believe it or not – is still glaring at you. Or are you imagining it? You’re about to respond when a tall blonde girl in a cheerleading uniform skips up to him. They kiss, and then leave the lecture hall hand-in-hand. You turn back to Bucky, who shrugs.

“Well. Scratch that. I guess it’s just you and me then, newbie. C’mon. I’ll give you a campus tour.”

Talking with Bucky is surprisingly simple. He’s easy-going and laidback, completely cool in the way he makes conversation. Talking about himself but at the same time asking you questions about your life. You’ve always been shy but you find yourself at ease with him, you find yourself laughing at his jokes… You even catch yourself staring at him more than a few times, completely captured by his pretty eyes and lazy smile.

“I’m mostly friends with everyone on the football team, but Steve’s my best friend,” He nods at the blond alpha who’s walking a few paces ahead of you two, hand-in-hand with the cheerleader who you assume is his girlfriend. “We’ve known each other since we were kids. And then there’s Sam, but he’s hungover so he didn’t come in today.” Bucky’s eyes crinkle as he laughs, “Classic Sam.

The walk to the library is over a little too soon.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you in the next lecture. Thanks for walking with me.” You say, backing away but not wanting to completely leave just yet.

“Princess, wait.” He grabs your hand, yanking you back till you’re only a few inches away from him. And maybe it’s the shock due to the fact that he called you princess, but you just… let him do it. He grins down at you.

“You’re not gonna leave without giving me your number first, are you?”

You giggle nervously, and you’re surprised that you have to swallow down the words ‘yes, I’ll give you my number’ which are on the tip of your tongue. Instead, you shake your head slowly, “I, uh, I have a boyfriend.”

The alpha blinks, hand freezing midway through running through his hair. But then he relaxes, and that familiar lazy smile returns to his face. “So? Can’t friends save each other’s numbers? We’re friends now, aren’t we?”

You feel heat rising up your neck and spreading to your cheeks, “Oh. Of course. I guess we are. Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed–”

“No worries, princess.” He takes your phone, quickly putting in his number and texting himself from yours before handing it back to you. “Your boyfriend’s a lucky guy, by the way. But I’m sure he won’t mind if I text you tonight, right?”

Bucky doesn’t wait for an answer, instead just winking at you before taking off. And you stand outside the steps of the library and watch him for a second. He catches up with Steve and gives him a hard thump on the back before falling into step next to him. Steve still has a scowl on his face but it slowly dissipates, and you watch for a moment as the two alphas talk animatedly. Even if Bucky hadn’t told you earlier, it was clear as day that the they were best friends.

It takes you a while to realise that you’re staring, and you quickly retreat into the library, the magical pull of books and knowledge sucking you in and making you forget about everything else.

***

“I’d say it was a good first day, as far as first days go.” You deduce, walking into the living room with a bowl of popcorn in your hands. You hand it over to Peter, who’s scrolling through Netflix in search of the perfect movie. Which is an impossible task since the two of you had seen practically everything Netflix had to offer – you guys had more movie nights then you did date nights. Actually, you can’t remember the last time you and Peter had gone out on a date. The thought seemed weird… you were much more comfortable sitting on the couch and gorging on popcorn and talking the night away with him – like you were right now.

“That’s good. Did you make any friends?”

You think back to Bucky’s twinkling blue eyes and feel a jolt of electricity run through you. Bucky was your friend, right? He’d said so. But for reasons you don’t quite understand, you only clear your throat and shake your head. “No. I talked to a few people but that’s all. I mean, it’s only day one, right? Nobody makes friends on day one.”

“True.” Peter agrees, his mouth full of popcorn. “Okay, so, I’m thinking it’s a teen dystopian movie kind of night. Hunger Games or Divergent?”

Your brow furrows while you think, “I don’t like Divergent and I’ve seen The Hunger Games way too many times.”

“Okay, how about Catching Fire?”

“The ending of that one makes me sad.”

You bicker back and forth before settling down with Alice in Wonderland, and the popcorn is half finished by the time the beginning credits start rolling. And that’s when your phone vibrates.

James: Hey, princess. You busy?

A smile touches your lips before you cast a quick glance at Peter. He’s half laid down on the other end of the couch with his eyes locked on the screen. You swallow down the guilt – you know Bucky is just your friend but it still feels kind of wrong to be texting him when you’re meant to be watching a movie with Peter. But there’s a large part of you that wants to answer, and it doesn’t take long for that part of you to win the inner conflict inside your head. You quickly text back:

You: Hey! I’m currently watching a movie with my boyfriend.

Your text is truthful, but you hope Bucky doesn’t think you’re dismissing him. His reply is almost instantaneous:

James: Aw, how cute. What movie is it?

You: Alice in Wonderland. Have you seen it?

You mentally kick yourself after you press send. What a dumb question – of course he’s seen it! Who hasn’t seen one of the most recognisable Disney movies of the last decade?

James: I have. I didn’t know you were such a big fan of cartoons, princess.

You feel the ends of your mouth tugging into a smile before you give Peter another glance. He’s polishing off the last of the popcorn, engrossed in Alice as she tumbles down the rabbit hole. You grab the empty bowl and stand up. “I’ll go make some more popcorn.”

Peter nods, “You want me to pause it?”

“No, that’s alright.”

You float into the kitchen and put another bag of popcorn in the microwave before taking a deep breath and looking down at your phone again.

James: Maybe we could watch a movie sometime? I’ve got a flatscreen in my room ;)

You feel a shiver go down your spine when you read his text, and you let yourself imagine it for a split second. Watching a movie with Bucky. In his bedroom. On his bed? You’d never been to a boy’s room before – except Peter, but he’d been your best friend all through high-school. Sure, he was your boyfriend now but you always do the same things you guys did when you were friends – just with added kissing and sometimes touching.

“Babe, you done?” Peter calls for you as if on cue.

Once more awash with guilt, you quickly type out a text:

You: I’m sorry, I should get back to the movie. Good night :)

You switch your phone off for the rest of the night, trying to focus on Alice’s adventures in wonderland, but the thought of Bucky dwindles at the back of your mind as if it’s there to stay.

***

You plan on avoiding Bucky the next day but that proves to be an extremely flimsy plan. You’re sitting in the front row when him and Steve and another guy – you assume it’s Sam – walk in. You get a pleasant whiff of Bucky’s scent before it’s overpowered by something stronger – the smell of firewood and a hot summer day. They walk by you, with Bucky giving you a small smile and a wink and Steve sucking in a breath, his nostrils twitching as he walks past you. Strange. What was his problem?

You still feel guilty about the previous night. Peter was your first ever relationship so you might not be the biggest expert on these types of things, but you’re sure that getting giddy over another guy texting you is not good girlfriend behaviour. You need to put a swift stop to it, starting now. You spend the rest of the lecture taking notes diligently, stuffing the thought of Bucky to the back of your mind.

When the class ends, you try to scurry away to the library. But you don’t get too far down the corridor before a hand encloses around your wrist and tugs you back.

“Princess, wait up. Where are you hurrying off to?”

“I – uh – I need to go to the library to print something.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow, “I’ll walk you.”

“Oh no, that’s okay.”

He looks at you for a handful of seconds before sighing and taking a step back, “This is about last night, isn’t it? My texts scared you off?”

You bite your lip, “James, I have a boyfriend.”

“I know, I know.” He runs a hand through his messy brown hair, shifting from one foot to the other before those icy blue eyes settle on you again. “I’ll be honest, princess. You’re so pretty, I thought I’d shoot my shot anyways.”

Your jaw drops, “B-But I have a boyfriend.”

He shrugs, looking virile and handsome with his facial hair and lazy smile, “That’s never stopped me before. I mean, it’s not really a big thing with me and my friends. If we want a girl, we go after her, boyfriend or not, it doesn’t matter to us.”

“Oh.” You don’t know whether to stay or just leave, and you’re debating over just that when Bucky pipes up again.

“Look, princess. I like you. And I have a hunch that you like me too. And as I said before, I usually don’t care if the girl I like has a boyfriend. But you’re different, I want to do right by you.” He strokes the palm of your hand with his thumb and it’s like you’re mesmerised by the feeling. “I’d really like to take you out sometime. But I can give you time to break up with your boyfriend first.”

You gasp, pulling your hand out of his grasp, “James Barnes! That’s so wrong. You know how awful of a person that would make me? And I barely know you!”

“Just think about it. I really like you.” He says earnestly, blue eyes sparkling and locking with yours as he grabs your hand again, “And breaking up with him will spare this guy the embarrassment of being with a girl who’s no longer into him.”

Your jaw drops open at his audacity, “That’s not true–!”

“Bucky, we have practice.”

Steve rounds the corner, stopping short when he sees the two of you so close, his eyes narrowing as they zero in on your intertwined hands.

“Gimme a sec.” Bucky answers, not even sparing Steve a glance, eyes unblinking as they stare at you meaningfully.

For the second time, you snatch your hand out of his grip. “I-I – uh – I have to go!” You do the easiest thing you can think of, backing away and getting the hell out of there. Bucky’s just dropped a huge bomb on you and Steve’s intimidating as hell, so you deem it best to put some distance between you and the two alphas as you speed-walk away from the situation.

“Why are you talking to that trashy omega?” You hear Steve mutter as you turn your back on them, and the hurtful words make your heart jolt.

“Hey, don’t call her that.” Bucky answers, and that’s the last thing you hear before you round the corner and escape into the comforting clutches of the campus library.

***

So, Bucky liked you. He liked you. As in, he wanted to take you out on a date. This information has you feeling giddier than it should. You’ve never known anyone to like you like that (except Peter) and never so brazenly. You can’t help but feel all light inside. A popular, handsome senior liked you!

But then, the flowy lightness inside you is overtaken by wracks of guilt, showering down on your heart like hard, jagged rocks. You’re with Peter. You like Peter. You can’t get happy over Bucky liking you when you’re with Peter. That’s just a fact.

You lay low for a couple of weeks, avoiding Bucky like he’s the plague. But you know his eyes are on you, glued to the back of your head during every lecture, when you keep your face pointedly facing forward and never look back at him. You can’t. You’re in a relationship. You have to respect it.

But then, things take a different turn than you ever expected them to.

Peter scores an internship at Stark Industries, which means he has to move to New York immediately. And you’re so happy for him, it’s what he’s been working towards and dreaming of for as long as you’ve known him. His goal of tackling the tech world is similar to your own goal of being the first person in your family to earn a university degree. You’re thrilled for him. But sitting on his bed and wistfully watching him pack, it’s like you both know what this means.

The break-up is mutual. Peter says that he’ll be busy with work, and you agree that you’ll be busy with college assignments too. And after one last movie night and a tearful goodbye, you both agree to try to remain best friends. He promises to come see you when he’s got a free moment, and you tell him you’ll travel up to New York once you’ve saved enough money to be able to afford it.

And then he’s gone. Off chasing his dreams and you couldn’t be happier for him.

But now you’re single. And what does that mean for you?

***

Bucky approaches you after spring break, sporting a healthy tan and messier hair. You’d overheard him and his friends talking earlier, so you knew they’d all flown to Cancun for the past week. Lucky them. You’d spent the break studying in your room, making notes for the next set of lectures to make sure you were well-prepared for them.

“Hello, princess. You’re looking extra beautiful today.”

You look down at your old hoodie and ratty leggings and wonder if he’s joking with you. “Uh, thanks?”

“I’m serious. You’re glowing, which can only mean one thing. You broke up with him, didn’t you?” Bucky leans down over your table, giving you a strong whiff of his wintery scent. It’s like freshly powdered snow and warm fire logs, enveloping around you like a welcome hug after your lonely spring break.

You purse your lips together, focusing on your notes except the lecture hasn’t started yet so you have nothing to write down except the date. But you’re determined not to look at him, “Actually, it was mutual.”

Bucky’s grin only gets wider, and to your surprise, he plops down on the empty seat next to you. Your eyes widen, “Wh-What are you doing?”

“What? I can’t sit next to you? Is this seat taken?”

Well, of course it wasn’t. You usually sat alone. Nobody really spoke to you apart from Bucky, but that was okay. It’s not like anyone was ever horrible to you either. Except Steve with that one comment that he’d made the other day. But you must have overheard him wrong.

“So, what did you do over spring break?” He asks.

You shrug, “I read up on the next few chapters on our syllabus.”

Bucky nods, “A quiet week, huh? Well, I wish I’d stayed back too.” He chuckles when he sees your raised eyebrow, “Hey, don’t get me wrong. Cancun’s beautiful, but it gets tiresome after a while. All Steve and Sam ever did was hook up with different girls. Constantly. Me? I just didn’t feel like doing that this time around.”

You frown, casting a short glance at Steve, except you quickly look away because he happens to be staring right back at you. But why was Steve hooking up with other girls? Didn’t he have a girlfriend? You mull over it for a second before you register the other thing Bucky had said. “Y-You didn’t feel like hooking up with anyone?”

The brunet clasps his hand over yours and shoots you a sparkling smile, “Why would I? When my girl wasn’t there with me?”

Bucky takes you out the following weekend. And you don’t know why you agree, when it’s so soon after your breakup with Peter. But when he asks you out, it just feels right, and the word “yes” is flying out of your mouth before you have the chance to think about it. Peter’s probably seeing other people too, you think to yourself. And the thought doesn’t bother you at all, because why shouldn’t Peter have his fun? He was single. And so were you.

Bucky presents you with a bouquet of pink tulips at the start of your date, and sits on your bed with an amused expression on his face while you quickly tend to them. Trimming the stems and finding a vase before setting them on your windowsill. “You look beautiful, princess.” He comments, making your cheeks feel like they’re on fire before he grabs your hand and takes you out.

The diner he takes you to is casual and pretty, only a few minutes outside of campus. The evening sunlight spills down through the window while Bucky brazenly holds your hands in his over the table – even when the waitress is taking your order! It makes you squirm, but in a pleasant kind of way. And he tells you about himself while you eat, how he knows he’s from a privileged family but always felt different growing up.

He tells you about all the mischief he and Steve got up to when they were kids, and then teens, and now young adults. And you can’t really imagine Steve, all stoic and mean and preppy-looking, getting up to any kind of mischief but you smile and nod anyways, loving how Bucky tells his stories in such an easy-going and charming way.

You’re a bit more guarded when he asks you about your childhood, though. You keep it brief and simple, outright evading certain details because you don’t want to get into it right now. But Bucky seems to understand, squeezing your hands before grabbing a napkin and wiping a spot of sauce on the side of your mouth.

He takes you to a nearby park after that. He buys a small loaf of bread so the two of you can feed the ducks. And he never lets go of your hand, and you can feel him watching you as you focus on the ducks gobbling up the pieces of bread. And then he grabs your chin and gently turns your face to him and he kisses you. And it’s sweet. Sweeter than it is with Peter. And you kiss him back, because you like how light and fluffy and exciting it feels to kiss Bucky.

It feels like you’re on cloud nine.

The dates get more frequent after that. Bucky walks you to class every day, holding your hand and talking to you about anything and everything. Like the latest report your class has been assigned, or his football team winning another game, or any new books you’ve read. You find yourself giggling and opening up a lot more, every shy bone in your body relaxing when you’re talking to him.

The kissing and touching becomes more frequent too. Often, he comes to your dorm room and things get hot and heavy. And oh, it’s so exciting feeling Bucky’s hands on you, and his expert kisses leave you breathless! He really was an incredible kisser, taking control and moving his tongue so lazily and perfectly against yours. But something within you always stops him before he can go any further.

“Bucky, please. I just got out of a relationship and I don’t know if I’m ready for sex.” You tell him truthfully one evening while he’s got you pinned down on your bed in the middle of a particularly passionate make-out session.

Bucky lies back down beside you while you fix the buttons of your cardigan which he’d almost had undone. He reaches down to adjust his boner through his jeans, “Princess, you’re killing me here. I want you so bad.”

You swallow, “I’m sorry, James. I just don’t think I’m ready.”

Light blue eyes smile down at you as the alpha sits up and grabs your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t apologise, princess. I understand.”

“I just feel bad, I don’t want you to think I’m leading you on.” You duck your head, but he grabs your chin and lifts it up again, making you look at him.

“I’ll be honest, I don’t think I’ve gone out this long with a girl without sleeping with her.” Bucky confesses, scratching his head with a sheepish look on his face. “I haven’t been a great boyfriend in the past, and my motives have usually been selfish.”

Your eyes grow wide, but you don’t say anything.

“I’m telling you this because I care about you, princess. I think you’re different.” He tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear and chucks you under your chin till you smile. “I like talking to you and spending time with you. You’re smart and beautiful and I know we haven’t been together long, but I really see a future for us.” He kisses you sweetly, and you’re too busy trying to tame the butterflies in your stomach to respond properly, but you try your best anyways.

“What I’m saying is, you can take all the time you need till you’re ready. I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll wait as long as I have to till you’re ready to have sex.” Bucky finishes earnestly, and you can’t help but wrap your arms around his neck and plant a million kisses on his face. He’s saying all the right things, everything a girl wants to hear from her boyfriend.

“You really mean all that?” You ask him softly.

“Yes, princess, I mean it. You’re my girlfriend, and I’ll wait for you for as long as you need.” Bucky looks earnest and sweet, and you hug him hard. You feel a mix of thrill and nervous energy flutter through you. It’s something you’ve never felt before. But it’s a good feeling, and you welcome it with open arms as Bucky continues to leave tiny kisses all over your face. Till you’re giggling against his lips and hugging him close, feeling lighter than a feather.

***

Being the girlfriend of a popular senior was not something you’d envisioned happening to you at the start of university. But Bucky made it feel so natural, introducing you to all his friends, holding your hand all the time and including you in all his plans. His friends are nice enough: Sam was a bit cold at first but he warmed up after a while. Thor was loud and funny, Ransom acted overly smart and confident but seemed to have a sensitive side too. Curtis was mysterious and Andy was kind of dopey, and they were all friendly with you.

But then there was Steve.

The blonde alpha glowered at you any chance he got. Whenever you were in his presence, you could feel his steely blue eyes boring holes straight through your skin. You always kept out of his way so you were unsure why he seemed to hate you. Bucky just said not to take it personally, that Steve was just going through a rough patch with his girlfriend and he didn’t hate you at all.

One day, you’d gone over to Bucky’s house where he – unfortunately – lived with Steve and Sam too.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Steve had demanded when he’d opened the door and seen you standing there.

“Uh… James to-told me to meet him here after my morning classes.” You explain, feeling oddly nervous around the big alpha. You’re naturally shy but you’d come out of your shell quite a bit ever since you’d started dating Bucky. But Steve was just so intimidating, standing there in just a pair of grey sweats that are slung low over his hips. You avert your gaze to the ground in a bid not to stare at his bare chest.

Steve regards you suspiciously before stepping aside and letting you in. And you feel his heated gaze still on you as you brush past him to get inside. And that’s when you hear him inhale sharply, a low rumble coming from his chest before he stumbles. You whip around just in time to see him recover, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Are you okay?”

Steve scoffs, “Why the hell wouldn’t I be okay?”

“Uh… You kinda just tripped?” You point out hesitantly, and the blonde alpha’s pale face goes crimson before he clears his throat.

“I did not trip.” He glowers through gritted teeth.

Okay then. You decide not to question his rude and erratic behaviour. “Where is James’ room?”

Steve glances upstairs before leaning against the kitchen counter, his intense gaze locking on you as his frown relaxes into a smirk. “He’s taking a shower right now. You should wait for him down here.”

“Okay.” You sit down at the kitchen table. The house is big, spacious and minimalistic in the way it’s decorated. The kitchen is modern and it’s clear that there’s only boys living here, because you can see a ton of takeout containers and microwave meals strewn across the countertops. Once you’re done observing your surroundings, you notice Steve still staring at you.

“So, you’re Bucky’s girlfriend now, huh?” He breaks the silence.

“Yes.”

“Strange. I never thought he’d go for someone like you.”

Your brows knit together into a frown as a pang of hurt echoes inside you, “Wh-What’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugs, and you try not to focus on his broad, muscular shoulders. But it’s not easy to just look at his face either, because he’s so intimidating. He runs a hand through his light hair, “Nothing, omega. Don’t worry your little head over it.

Your jaw drops open, “Don’t call me that, please. I have a name.”

“As if I care.”

God! It was like talking to an eight-year-old. You had no idea that Steve was this immature and rude, and it makes your blood boil. You’re just about to get up and find Bucky’s bedroom yourself when you hear a pattering of light footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Steve, I have to go. But promise you’ll text me tonight?” It’s a girl. You recognise her from college – you’ve definitely seen her around campus somewhere. But she’s definitely not Sharon. She skips up to Steve and plants a kiss on his cheek, and the alpha only responds with a grunt. You get a weird feeling inside you as you watch this exchange, but try your best to shake it off.

The girl stops to shoot you a smile. “Hey, you’re Bucky’s girlfriend, aren’t you? Nice to meet you!”

She leaves before you have a chance to reply, and you’re left staring at the back of her head as she shuts the door behind her, getting an eyeful of her hair which you vaguely notice is the same shade as yours. And it’s only when she’s gone that you realise your mouth is open in shock, and you slowly turn to Steve who looks wholly unbothered.

“Aren’t you going out with Sharon?” You can’t help but blurt out.

Steve raises an eyebrow, but says nothing as he continues to just stare at you. You feel hot all over, and you don’t know whether it’s because of his eyes on you or because of the sudden anger you feel at the blatant display of cheating you’ve just witnessed.

“That’s not fair on your girlfriend, Steve.” You whisper.

And all Steve does is stare at you, to the point where you feel waves of heat on your face. And then suddenly you’re hit with this overwhelming scent of burning firewood. A freshly mown lawn with a strong sun beating down on it, and smoky wood on a hot summer’s day. Your eyes widen as the intimidating alpha walks over to you, leaning down at the table where you’re sitting.

“I don’t remember asking for some lowlife omega’s opinion on my private business.” He says softly, but there’s danger and threat embedded in his words and it makes your blood run cold. But your nose can’t stop twitching as it takes in his heady scent, and you feel your mind cloud over and your limbs grow weak like jelly and–

“I’d appreciate it if you’d put a shirt on in front of my girlfriend, Stevie.” Bucky chuckles, elbowing past Steve and making his way over to you. He helps you up and plants a firm kiss to your lips. You’re still rattled by the blonde alpha, though, and distractedly kiss your boyfriend back. You can still feel Steve’s eyes on you, and it’s unnerving to say the least.

“You ready to go, princess?” Bucky tugs at your hand and you nod, allowing him to pull you out of the house. It’s only when the fresh outside air whips against your face that you seem to snap out of whatever trance you’re in. You swallow and shake your head as Bucky leads you to his car, and you only speak once both of you are inside.

“Steve did something awful.” You breathe.

Bucky frowns before squeezing your arm, “What? Did he touch you?”

“N-No, he…” You shake your head, feeling a wave of anger overtake you momentarily, “He had a girl over, James. He was cheating on his girlfriend!”

“Oh.”

The silence is louder than ever as Bucky starts up the car and backs out of the driveway. He puts his arm over the back of your seat as he looks over his shoulder, and it’s not until he’s on the main road that you huff:

“Is that all you have to say?”

Bucky grimaces, keeping his eyes glued to the road, “Look, Steve isn’t exactly in love with Sharon.”

“But she’s his girlfriend, Bucky. He shouldn’t be cheating on her either way!”

“I know, I know. What can I say?” He pauses, as if mulling over how to say his next words. “Look, princess. Steve’s young, he’s only in college. It’s what us guys do. Why have one piece of the pie when you can have the whole thing, you know? That sort of thing.”

It only takes Bucky about three seconds to realise the error in his words. You turn to stare at him in utter shock and horror. Was this really James? Your James? Who had said all the right things and been so sweet and gentlemanly all these weeks? Who had respected your boundaries and never questioned you or lashed out for wanting to wait?

“Is that why you’re so okay with us not having sex?” You say quietly. “Because you’re getting it from somewhere else?”

“What? No, sweetheart. No, that’s not it at all.”

Bucky turns into a random lane and stops the car before turning to you. You try to bat him off but he grabs both your hands in his, bringing them up to his lips and pressing kisses on your fingers and palms before yanking you into an embrace.

“I’m sorry. That was a terrible thing for me to say.” He mumbles into your hair, and you try to find solace in his scent but it’s not strong enough right now. He kisses the top of your head before drawing back to make eye contact. “Princess, I’m not seeing anyone else behind your back, that I can promise you.”

“But how can I believe you? When it was so easy for you to justify what Steve’s doing?” You sniffle.

Bucky sits back in his seat and sighs, but he doesn’t let go of your hands. “Look, it’s no secret that us alphas are all a bunch of assholes. We don’t really hide it, either. Steve’s cheating on his girl because, well, it’s almost normal for a lot of us to do that. And I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t slept with multiple girls without them knowing about each other in the past.”

You bow your head, not liking this at all. But Bucky grabs your chin gently, lifting it up so you look at him.

“But I’m past all of that now, okay? I really like being in a serious and committed relationship with you, princess. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a girl, and I would never even think of being with anyone else.” He cups your face and strokes your cheek, and his eyes are so pretty and blue, and you can feel your heart melting already as he gives you a peck. “I guess I just wasn’t surprised by what Steve did because I’m so used to it.”

You nuzzle your face into his palm, “Can’t you tell him that it’s wrong? That you’ve grown out of doing stuff like that, and that he should too?”

Bucky chuckles, pressing your cheeks and nose with more soft kisses, “I could. But Steve is extremely stubborn and bossy, in case you haven’t noticed.” He pauses, smiling fondly at you when you giggle softly in agreement, twining a piece of your hair around his finger. “The way I see it, we should just focus on our relationship, and let Steve do whatever it is he’s doing since it’s got nothing to do with us. It took meeting the right girl for me to recognise the error of my ways. Maybe soon, he’ll find someone that he’ll want to be better for too, right?”

You nod, despite that weird feeling surfacing inside you once more. But you shove it back down and give Bucky a smile as he pulls you in for another long kiss.

“Well, let’s get to that movie, shall we? We’ve probably missed the opening credits and I’m gonna have to cut the line to get us our snacks, but I think we can still make it.”

You spend the rest of the evening at the drive-in movie theatre with Bucky. He reclines his seat and makes you climb over the console to sit in his lap while the two of you watch Gone with the Wind on the big screen with a bag of sweet and salty popcorn and a bar of chocolate to share. Once the snacks finish, you sleepily rest your head on his chest and let him stroke your back through your hoodie. And you almost fall asleep like that, Scarlett O’Hara’s indignant dialogues lulling you into a peaceful slumber until your nostrils are unceremoniously invaded with the scent of burning firewood and a hot summer’s day.

Opening your eyes slowly, you peak out the window to see another car pull up beside Bucky’s. And your heart sinks down to the depths of your chest when you see who’s inside. Steve. And Sharon. She’s talking to him animatedly, but he seems sullen and unresponsive as always. That is, until they start making out, and you have to forcibly look away when Steve’s eyes meet yours and you feel this burning feeling in your chest.

You swallow harshly before cuddling up to Bucky even more.

“James, I’m sleepy,” you say softly.

“Yeah? You wanna go home, princess?”

“Yes, please. If that’s okay?”

“Sure, princess.” He lifts you up and places you back on the passenger seat before pressing a kiss on your forehead. “Close your eyes and rest. I’ll tuck you into bed once we get back to your dorm.”

And he does just that, carrying you all the way back into your dorm room and helping you change before putting you to bed. And you can’t describe whatever it is you’re feeling but all you can do is clutch at his shirt when he goes to leave, pulling him into bed with you. And he rains your face with a billion kisses before you both fall asleep in each other’s arms.

***

Life at college continues. You’re still in contact with Peter, despite the two of you being so busy. But he sends you updates about his internship and all the cool technology he’s being exposed to. You tell him about your classes and all the interesting things you’re learning. You also, very tentatively, tell him about Bucky. Surprisingly, Peter seems supportive, and the conversation between the two of you grows easy once more.

The romance between you and Bucky seems to blossom with every passing day. He carries your books to class and takes you out on cute dates that make your heart flutter. Picnics, scenic walks, movies, restaurants – he takes you everywhere you’ve ever dreamed of being taken. And how your heart had skipped a beat when you’d seen he’d had a bouquet of yellow roses delivered to your dorm room! There was no note or tag attached, but you knew they were from Bucky. Who else could they be from? And they were the prettiest flowers you’d ever received, and the butterflies in your tummy fluttered at his perfect choice.

It was also in the little things he did, like kiss you on the forehead reassuringly or squeeze your hand when you’re feeling nervous. And slowly, you feel yourself coming out of your shell more and more. You find yourself laughing out loud and voicing your opinions that usually you would’ve kept silent.

Being Bucky’s girlfriend meant hanging out with his group of friends, too. And it thrills you that you’re able to hold conversations with some of them, and have them be genuinely interested in what you have to say and not just write you off as a “dumb omega”.

One day, you find yourself sitting on Bucky’s lap in the campus courtyard between classes, a number of his friends surrounding you. You still feel nervous around this many people (especially intimidating seniors) but with Bucky squeezing your hand reassuringly, you find the task less daunting than you normally would, as you grow to feel more comfortable with them.

Well, most of them.

“…and then I told her to fuck off, because who knows what kind of diseases she was carrying. I mean, she’s fucked half the football team after all.” Steve says cockily, taking a drag from his cigarette while the alphas around him all laugh as if he’s cracked the funniest joke of the century. Even Bucky chuckles before you shoot him a look and he stops, a sheepish look on his face.

“I mean sure, she’s got a great ass, but there’s nothing attractive about a slut who spreads her legs for any man who looks her way.” The blond alpha continues, and it irritates you how all his friends seem to hang on to his every word, looking up to him like he’s some sort of God.

Having been with Bucky long enough, you had somewhat cracked the hierarchy of his friend group. And Steve was definitely the leader, the one they all flocked to and tried to impress. Well, not Bucky – he and Sam were the only ones who would keep Steve in check. But the blonde alpha’s ego was through the roof, as were his misogynistic ideals and derogatory views towards omegas and women in general.

And you hated how shy you were, especially around him. You felt sickened by Steve’s gross statements but you could never say anything against him. A part of you just wanted to be liked and accepted by Bucky’s best friend, but Steve only alternated between glaring at you or pretending you didn’t exist.

“HI, BABY!”

A high-pitched squeal knocks you out of your reverie, and you watch as Sharon jogs up to Steve in her pretty blue cheerleading outfit. Together, they look like the perfect couple. Head cheerleader and the captain of the football team. Perfect. You feel that weird feeling bubbling up inside you again but do your best to keep it at bay.

Steve rolls his eyes before Sharon launches herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and planting her lips on his. Steve, however, remains stoic.

“Gosh, baby, could you please put that cigarette out?” Sharon says, pushing a wayward lock of Steve’s blonde hair off his forehead.

“No.”

She giggles, shaking her head before turning to you. “Men, huh? Stubborn as ever. I’ve asked him to stop smoking about a bajillion times, but he never listens.”

You smile and nod, feeling stupid and awkward as ever because Sharon is pretty and popular and you don’t know how to act.

“I like your pin.” Sharon points at the World Politics Society pin on your bookbag, “I couldn’t even dream of getting into that class. You must be really smart.”

Steve snorts but everyone ignores him.

“Thank you, I find the subject really interesting,” you reply.

You watch Sharon as she talks to everyone in the group. She’s kind, confident and beautiful – everything you wish you were. But that weird, indescribable feeling keeps surfacing inside you every time she locks hands with Steve, or brushes his hair back, or smooths the wrinkles on his sweater.

“And Mister Barnes, how come I’ve never met your girlfriend before now? When she’s practically my sister-in-law?” Sharon hits Bucky lightly on the arm before shooting you another bright smile. “We should organise a double-date. Me and Steve and you both. That sounds fun, doesn’t it?”

Steve scoffs but everyone ignores him.

“Epically fun, Miss Carter.” Bucky gives her a charming smile before tugging you close to his chest. “We could go bowling or something. If His Highness is up for it.”

Steve takes another drag of his cigarette, saying nothing. In fact, he’s barely said a word since his girlfriend joined the conversation, and you find that to be weirdly peculiar. Why was he even with her if all he did was cheat on her and ignore her every time she spoke?

“Looking forward to it!” Sharon smiles before checking her phone, “Okay, I gotta go now or else I’ll be late for practice. I’ll see you tonight, baby?” She gives Steve a peck on the lips, which he also doesn’t return.

“Sure.” Steve answers, finally seeming to snap out of it as his hand meanders down to squeeze her ass. You feel your own hand clench into a fist but you quickly relax it and hope no one saw. What the heck was that? Why had you reacted that way?

“What a fuckin’ bitch.” Steve resumes once Sharon is out of earshot. “As I was saying, I told this other whore who was all over me the other day that I just wasn’t interested in sluts like her, and she said–”

“Could you stop being such a misogynistic jerk?!”

You can’t believe the words have left your mouth, and your hands start shaking immediately once you realise they have. Never before have you raised your voice at someone like this, let alone a formidable alpha who’s about twice your size.

Steve’s cold blue eyes rest their steely gaze on you, when up until this point he’d been content on pretending you weren’t there. You dare peak up at him and see his jaw tick, and a vein protrude from the side of his forehead.

“What did you just say to me?” He asks softly.

“Hey, leave her alone.” Bucky says warningly, but you sit up straight.

“I’m… I’m sorry, but I just don’t like how you talk about women.” You say, hating how your voice shakes and how you can’t look Steve in the eye.

“And I don’t like the tone you’re taking with me right now.” Steve’s intense gaze bores holes straight through you before he looks at Bucky, “Haven’t you taught her not to speak to her superiors like that?”

Your jaw drops open in pure shock, “H-How dare you–”

“Okay, let’s go.” Bucky hoists you to your feet while your whole body seems to shake with shock, anger, and a tiny bit of fear. The brunet alpha holds you tightly by the arm before evenly glancing back at his best friend. “Steve, don’t speak to my girl like that. In fact, if you’re going to be rude, then don’t speak to her at all.”

You and Bucky don’t stick around to hear Steve’s retort, and it’s only when you round a corner and are hidden from the rest of the group by a brick wall, that you burst into tears.

“He’s – so – awful!” You cry, your heart pitter-pattering in a mix of fear and hurt. You hated being spoken to like that, like you were beneath him. Bucky holds you close and you sob into his chest, hugging him as hard as you can. His solidness and wintery scent is a source of comfort to you, and so is his hand which rubs your back soothingly.

“He shouldn’t have spoken to you like that, princess. I’ll make sure to speak to him about it later.” Bucky promises you, pressing soft kisses to your hairline while you cry, leaving splotchy tear-stains on his shirt.

“Why is he even with Sharon when he doesn’t seem happy with her at all?!” You burst out, desperately wiping at your teary eyes except it doesn’t stop you from crying even more. “He’s just…I just… Oh, I hate him, James! I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!”

“I know, sweetheart. I know. I’ll talk to him, don’t you worry.”

Looking into his earnest eyes, you can tell Bucky’s intentions are good. And you don’t know if he talks to Steve or not, but you do receive another delivery of yellow roses to your dorm room that very night. This time, there’s a note attached too. “I’m sorry” is all it says, and you can’t help but smile as you hold the roses up to your nose and take in their delicate scent. Bucky was obviously feeling bad about the whole situation – and it wasn’t even his fault!

But clearly, your boyfriend knows you well, because the flowers do lift your mood up a little bit. You place the second bouquet of yellow roses caringly next to the first one. They look expensive and beautiful, and have your entire room smelling heavenly and sweet. It makes you smile and clasp your hands together, and you’re just about to call Bucky when you hear a rustling from outside your window, followed by a series of heavy footsteps.

Strange. Who would be out at this time? And in the bushes outside your dorm room, no less? You decide you’ve probably imagined it, but you close your window and draw your curtains anyways before calling Bucky.

“You’re the best, you know that?” You tell him, a huge smile plastered on your face as you take one last whiff of the roses before flopping down on your bed on top of all your pillows and stuffies.

“I do know that, sweetheart, but it’s nice to hear you say it.” Bucky laughs from the other end of the phone. “It’s also nice to hear you sound so happy.”

You grab your stuffed rabbit and tug his ears mindlessly, “Yeah, I know I acted like a huge cry-baby earlier today.”

“Didn’t I tell you not to worry about it, princess? Anyways, I spoke to Steve.”

Your heart skips a beat, “You did?”

“Yes. Look, he’s set in his traditional ways and he’s stubborn as hell. But he did look like he regretted speaking to you that way, and I don’t think he’ll do it again.”

You breathe a sigh of relief, “Well, that’s all I want. Thank you for speaking to him, James.” There’s a pause, and then you pipe up hesitantly: “And what about Sharon? Is he still going to stay with her?”

“Uh, yeah. Why wouldn’t he?”

BECAUSE SHE’S NOT RIGHT FOR HIM! The omega inside you screeches, and the sheer vitriol you feel makes you sit up straight, eyes wide and hands shaking. What the heck? Where had that outburst even come from?

“Hello? Princess? You still with me?”

You clear your throat and physically shake your head to rid yourself of that weird feeling that seems to be bubbling inside you so often now. But never before had it manifested into your inner thoughts screaming at you like how they just had. You feel hot all over, and quickly place your palm on your forehead to check if you have a fever before remembering Bucky is still on the phone.

“I’m here. Sorry, I just…” What can you even say to him? Without sounding crazy? You take a deep breath. “Thank you for talking to him, James. I’m just glad he won’t be mean anymore. Everything else isn’t really any of my business.”

“That’s good to hear, sweetheart.”

***

True to Bucky’s word, slowly but surely, Steve becomes a lot more bearable to be around. He’s still awful in his misogyny but at least he no longer glares at you or makes you feel unwelcome and uncomfortable when you’re with Bucky and his friends. You still catch him staring at you sometimes, but you must be imagining it because you know he hates you. You try not to care though, and only focus on Bucky.

“I want you to meet my parents, princess.” Bucky says to you one day. The two of you are in your dorm room where you’d just completed an intense study session. Well, you’d been studying while Bucky grew distracted after about ten seconds of staring at his textbook, and proceeded to kiss and touch you while you laughed and batted him off. “And I would like to meet your parents too.”

The smile drops from your face almost instantaneously, and you nervously grab your stuffed rabbit and pull its ears. “Oh, I… Uh…”

“I mean, we’ve been seriously dating for a while now, haven’t we? It’s only right that I get to meet the parents of the girl who captured my heart.”

You smile uneasily, heart feeling like it’s about to beat out of your chest. “What are your parents like?” You blurt out, trying to deflect.

Bucky lies back on your bed, “They’re great. My dad’s a lawyer so he’s always working. My mom is usually at home, though. She makes a great apple pie and she’s also great for when I need advice.”

You smile softly, “She must really love you.”

He blinks. “Of course, she does. All parents love their children.”

He goes on to tell you about how his dad used to take him golfing at the country club when he was younger, and how much he hated it. But he’d always get treated to ice cream afterwards, which was why he agreed to go every time. He tells you about how his mother values family over everything, which was why he went home every other Friday to have dinner with his family, and how he’d love for you to join him on one of those dinners soon.

You nod and agree, but you feel like crying on the inside. There’s a sense of yearning inside you that you can’t seem to get rid of no matter how hard you cuddle into Bucky or how much he kisses you.

His hands slowly slip down to your hips, squeezing gently before meandering up under your hoodie. His touch is tentative yet confident, and usually it excites you. But you always stop him before he goes too far, hoping and praying he doesn’t get mad at you. Which he never does. Instead, the two of you lazily make out on your bed until you fall asleep in each other’s arms. And then the nightmares commence, but when you wake up, you can’t remember them at all.

***

“Ooh, look at the pink bowling balls! And the powder blue ones. Aren’t they cute, Steve?” Sharon clutches Steve’s muscular bicep, her perfectly manicured nails scraping lightly against his pale skin. Steve only grunts in response before shaking her off as him and Bucky go up to the counter to pay for one session of bowling for all of you.

Through Sharon’s pure will and determination, the four of you find yourselves on a double date at the bowling alley. She seemed blissfully unaware of the fact that Steve hated you, or that you didn’t particularly like Steve either, and had practically begged Bucky to organise the date. Bucky had said you didn’t have to do it, but what harm could one night of bowling actually do? Especially since Steve hadn’t really been mean to you for a while now.

“Do I seriously have to wear these ugly bowling shoes?” Sharon complains, gingerly holding up the dirty shoes and making a face.

“Don’t wear them. Let’s see what happens.” Steve pipes up.

Bucky laughs, “Unless you want a broken toe, you better put them on.”

It’s Steve and Sharon against you and Bucky. You’ve bowled a few times, so you’re not embarrassingly bad or anything. Bucky is fairly good too. Surprisingly, Sharon turns out to be extremely skilled at bowling, getting a strike on her first try.

And then there’s Steve.

“Another gutter ball, Rogers!” Bucky doubles over in glee, practically in tears. You try to hide your amused smile and even Sharon can’t help but laugh.

“Shut up!” Steve seethes, looking redder than a tomato as he jams his hands in his pockets and walks back to the bench you’re all sitting on. He casts a quick glance in your direction, his nose twitching. “There’s too many distractions here.”

“What distractions, bro? You’re just a bad player.” Bucky mocks, jabbing his elbow into his friend’s ribs and laughing even harder when the blond gives him an absolutely murderous look.

Bucky gets up and stretches, “I think I need a beer. You want one, Steve?”

Steve flips him off.

“I’ll take that as a yes. You girls want anything?”

“Maybe a strawberry milkshake? Or iced tea sounds good. And I think we should also get some food for Steve before he implodes. Maybe nachos? Or curly fries. I’ll go with you, since that’s a lot to remember.” Sharon gets up.

Bucky presses a kiss to your forehead, “Think you can hold down fort and keep us in the lead until I get back, princess?” He whispers.

You giggle, “I think so. I just need to get a minimum of one pin.”

They leave, and you get up to do your turn. Making your way over to the contraption where they keep all the bowling balls, you can feel Steve’s eyes on you. God, without Bucky and Sharon here, you felt all shy and nervous. Not to mention his scent, which was so overpowering as it settled into your nostrils. Just ignore him, you think to yourself before absentmindedly selecting a bowling ball.

You’ve taken one step towards the bowling lane when the ball slips from your sweaty palms. It’s a lot heavier than you anticipated, and you can’t take the weight as you watch it fall down almost in slow motion. There’s a flurry of movement, Steve moving quick as lightning and batting the ball sideways before it completely crushes your foot. It ends up bouncing on the tip of your toe with a loud thud before rolling away under the table.

“What the fuck inspired you to choose the heaviest ball available? You could have really hurt yourself!” Steve shakes you angrily by the shoulder as you remain frozen in place, still registering what just happened.

“I…I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” You stammer before suddenly becoming aware of your toe throbbing from where the bowling ball had fallen. Most of its weight had been absorbed by your shoe, but your toe still hurts. And you hate being such a baby, but your lower lip can’t help but quiver, and you feel your eyes well up with tears.

You don’t really register it as Steve’s fingers encircle around your wrist, and he tugs you back to the bench, forcing you down before crouching in front of you.

“Did you hurt yourself? See, this is why little omegas like you shouldn’t be carrying heavy things. I told Bucky bowling was a bad idea.” At the mention of his best friend’s name, Steve instinctively whips his head towards the snack counter, and you do too. Bucky and Sharon are still in line, and with their backs turned and so many people around, you doubt they can see you.

You sniffle, “I didn’t think it would be that heavy.”

“Of course, you didn’t. You’re just a baby omega, and sometimes you don’t think about things like that. Here, let me see.” Before you realise what’s happening, he grabs your ankle with one big, warm hand; and uses the other to unstrap your shoe. You gape at him, the scent of smoky firewood and a freshly mown lawn making you swallow harshly and freeze in place, letting him slip your shoe off.

But it only a takes handful of seconds for you to come back to your senses, and you shake your head and cringe backwards.

“Uh, th-that’s okay, Steve. It stopped hurting now, I think I’ll be fine.”

But his grip on your ankle doesn’t loosen, your shoe falling to the ground and his blue eyes zeroing in on your foot which is covered by just your lacy white ankle sock. The air feels thick around you both, and you feel your breathing start to get laboured as you watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallows.

Slowly, tentatively almost, he strokes your foot with his other hand. And a part of you is so acutely aware of how weird this is. You boyfriend’s best friend tending to your injury in the middle of a crowded bowling alley – while Bucky and Sharon were in the same vicinity!

“You’ll be alright.” Steve says gently (the gentlest you’ve ever heard him speak), as he continues to stroke your throbbing toe, “You just need to be more careful, okay?”

You find yourself nodding, your entire body buzzing with some sort of strange energy that you’ve never felt before. “I guess I just got distracted.”

Steve’s hand remains rubbing your toe, but his eyes look up to meet yours. And you almost forget how to breathe, feeling like there’s a bubble encasing the two of you, and everyone else is far, far away. All you can feel is his burning gaze and his hand touching you.

He clears his throat, “Yeah, I’ve been distracted all night too.” And you can’t help but notice how long and dark his lashes are, how they contrast so deeply from his pale hair and skin, how they fan against his cheekbones as he blinks up at you almost earnestly. “Maybe I should drive you home.”

That knocks you out of whatever reverie he’s pulled you into. Drive you home? While his girlfriend and your boyfriend stayed here? Was he insane?

You forcibly tug your foot out of his grasp, quickly putting your shoe back on before he can grab it again. And Steve stays in his crouched position in front of you, almost as if frozen in place. He’s staring at his hand, the one that was holding your ankle, before he looks up at you. There’s a fiery look in his eyes, one you can’t fully explain. You also can’t fully explain why your heart is beating like mad, and there’s a warm feeling spreading through your chest.

“I’m fine, Steve. Really. Thank you for uh… Just… Thanks.” You mumble.

Steve blinks, opening his mouth to speak before he shuts it again when he looks beyond your shoulder. He coughs, standing up to his full height and moving away from you suddenly. And you watch him whip his phone out, pretend he’s texting someone, and all the while your heart just won’t calm down. And then you feel a tap on your shoulder.

“We’ve got snacks!” Sharon announces, skipping over to Steve and handing him a bunch of things, “Here you go, babe. These cheesy fries are literally to die for. Me and Bucky picked at them on the way back here. Oh, and here’s your beer.”

You watch as Sharon simpers at her boyfriend, grabbing his hand and leading him to a nearby bench. Feeding him fries while he bats her hand away, instead grabbing his beer and taking a long swig. His face is still red, and his eyes are still bright, and–

“You okay, princess?” Bucky sits down beside you and puts his arm around you, giving you a tight squeeze. “You look troubled.”

You force a smile, “I’m fine, James.”

“Did Steve say something to you? Do you need me to talk to him again?”

Rapidly, you shake your head. Subconsciously, you’ve already made the decision not to tell Bucky about the weirdness that has just transpired. And the guilt is already eating you up from the inside out, despite the fact you hadn’t done anything. Or hadn’t you? Why had you not pulled away sooner? And why was Steve acting this way? Why was he so gentle, so tender? When every other instance between the two of you has been either him ignoring you, or being rude towards you?

Suddenly, your head hurts.

Bucky seems to understand that something is off with you, because he tells Sharon and Steve that he’s tired and wants to cut the night short. You hug Sharon goodbye, feeling like you want the ground to eat you up whole, before your boyfriend leads you out of the bowling alley.

“Princess, please tell me what’s bothering you.” He says moments later when the two of you are in his car.

You force a smile, “Nothing!”

His light blue eyes, so piercing in the darkness of the car, stare at you as if they can see right through you. But all he does is draw you in for a hug, and you feel your body sag into his. Bucky feels so cosy and safe, so dependable and good. All your worries and concerns dissipate for a moment as you hug him back almost fiercely.

“Well, why don’t we go get some ice cream?” He asks kindly.

You bury your face in his chest, not quite done hugging him yet. Maybe you were just overthinking whatever had happened back there with Steve. Maybe the blond alpha was just trying to turn a new leaf and be kind for once. Maybe his actions had been innocuous after all. You sniffle before looking up at your boyfriend and pressing a long kiss to his lips.

“Okay. Let’s do that.”

Bucky gets a double mint chocolate chip cone and you get a vanilla strawberry swirl. He licks the ice cream that you accidentally smear on the side of your mouth as you dig in, and then you both kiss some more. Sweet kisses and sweet touches laced with giggles. And then he takes you on a drive, and you roll the windows down and let the breeze hit your face as if you’re the main character in an indie film, allowing the cool night air to wash away any remnants of guilt. Bucky’s got one hand on the steering wheel and the other one holding steadily onto yours, squeezing every few seconds and shooting you lovesick smiles that you return.

He parks outside of your dorm building and pulls you over the console and into his lap. And you let him kiss you and touch you and try to lose yourself in it. Try not to think of a hot summer’s day and freshly mown grass. You don’t even stop him when he pushes his hand down your leggings and past your panties, and you gasp into his mouth when you feel his fingers brush against your hot core.

“Are you sure about this, princess?” Bucky breathes against your lips, and you want to cry at how sweet he is. How patient and kind. You don’t deserve him at all. You nod your head to indicate that yes, you are sure. You kiss him doubly hard, trying to drown out the feel of wanting to cry. Because actually no, you’re not sure about this. You don’t know if you’re ready. But you feel so bad, so bad for what happened with Steve.

You didn’t even do anything! The rational part of your brain screams. So then why did it feel like you had?

Bucky moves his fingers expertly inside you, his thumb rubbing your bundle of nerves in a way that does make you momentarily forget about anything else except for his touch. You mewl his name, clutching the fabric of his shirt and rutting against him. His large hands rub up and down your back, his lips warm against your ear as he coaxes you, “That’s right, princess. Let go for me, I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.”

You come hard, body shaking and spasming on top of him as he holds you close to his chest. Praises you for being so good for him, for being so beautiful and perfect. And it’s crazy, because you feel anything but those things right now. But you sob out his name softly, and let him stroke your hair back as he continues to talk you through your orgasm, “That’s it, princess. You’re such a good girl for me, aren’t you? Such a good girl. Thank you for letting me in, sweetheart. Thank you for being so perfect.”

He lets you recover, all the while kissing you. And then he walks you to your room and bids you goodnight. He tells you he’d have stayed the night, but he has to drive home to pick up an important document for his father. You manage a weak smile, and return his kisses before waving goodbye.

And then you shut the door and burst into tears.

And you don’t even know why, because nothing had happened between you and Steve! Nothing at all. But you cry for all the confusion within you, the unresolved feelings of guilt that you can’t understand for the life of you, and how you can’t seem to shake this yearning sadness inside you. Oh, why did Steve have to be so different tonight? Why had his eyes reflected such tenderness? Why had he held your ankle like that? Why hadn’t he let go?

Why did you care so much?

You take a long shower and change into clean, comfortable clothes before trying to distract yourself with Netflix. And that’s when you hear a knock on your door.

It’s another bouquet of yellow roses. You smile at the delivery man – you recognise his face at this point, since he’s been to your dorm room three times now. You marvel at Bucky’s quickness, because he’d only dropped you home about an hour ago. He must have paid for express delivery or something. And this time, the bouquet is accompanied by not only a note, but also a small package.

I really enjoyed our date tonight, baby.

You smile softly at the short but sweet message, before your eyes shift to the package. It’s brown and unsuspecting, with a yellow ribbon holding it together. You gently rip it open.

Coal black eyes stare up at you. A furry little face. Tan coloured fur and a light blue bow-tie. It’s a teddy bear! You can’t help but crack a smile, heart feeling lighter than it has all day. Oh, it was so cute! Like a furry little baby. You hug it close to your chest, the butterflies fluttering happily around in your tummy. You don’t receive gifts too often, and this was a total surprise. And definitely one that was helping lift your lousy mood.

You fall asleep with the teddy in your arms, and no nightmares come. Instead, you dream of warm sunlight splashing down on your skin, and green grass so fresh you can almost smell it. And the silhouette of a shadowy figure who holds you close and promises to keep you safe. And the yearning feel goes away. And you feel content.

***

“Okay, do you want the good news first or the bad news?”

“Uh oh.” You bite your lip, immediately assuming the worst as your hand freezes in the middle of tossing a folded shirt into your overnight bag. Today was the day you and Bucky were driving down to Bucky’s family house, where you were finally going to meet his parents and stay for the weekend. “They don’t like me, do they?”

Bucky snickers over the phone, “Wrong, sweetheart. My parents love you. Well, they love the pictures of you that I showed them from my phone. That’s the good news, actually. They seem genuinely excited to meet you. My mom’s planning a whole five course dinner.”

You resume packing, putting in your pyjama bottoms, an extra hoodie, your plastic bag of toiletries, as well as your new favourite stuffed teddy bear. You force out a chuckle, hoping he can’t detect your anxiety and nervousness over the phone, “That’s good. I really hope I don’t let them down.”

“Let them down? How?”

You chew on your lip and whisper, “By not being good enough…”

“Princess, you’re the prettiest, kindest, sweetest and smartest girl I’ve ever dated. I don’t want you putting yourself down like that, okay?”

“O-Okay.” He was right – it wasn’t healthy to keep thinking of yourself in such a negative light. And it wasn’t like you enjoyed feeling sorry for yourself or drowning in self-pity, you just sometimes let the doubts you had about yourself creep in and take over your mind. Despite the fact that since day one, Bucky had been reassuring you about how perfect you were.

But would a perfect girlfriend be feeling as guilty as you were?

“What’s the bad news?” You ask, trying to push your thoughts to the back of your mind and focus on the conversation with your boyfriend.

Bucky sighs, “So, I had to actually stop by my dad’s office to sort out some paperwork. He only trusts me to do it, and since I’ll be working at his firm once I graduate, I figured it would be a good chance for me to show him that I’m actually competent with stuff like that.”

You nod, “That makes sense.”

“But that means I’ll be tied up all morning, so I won’t be able to drive you back to my house in Brooklyn.”

“Oh.” You let the words sink in. “That’s alright, James. I can just take the train.”

“Uh, I don’t think so, princess. But listen, Steve is going home for the weekend too, and his parents are practically neighbours with mine. He offered to give you a lift.”

You feel your whole body begin to shake as soon as his name is mentioned. It’s been a few days since the double date, and since what you’ve dubbed in your head as “the ankle incident.” Even now, your heart flutters at the memory, and you can still feel his warm fingers brushing over your foot as he’d held it in his hands and stroked you so softly. And when you close your eyes, you can see that earnest look on his face, and–

“Bucky, I really don’t mind taking the train.”

“Sweetheart, I know you don’t mind. But I mind, I don’t want my girl taking the train when you could easily just drive there.” There’s a pause as Bucky inhales deeply, “Look, I know you and Steve aren’t exactly the best of friends. But I really think he’s trying to turn a new leaf and be a nicer person. I mean, he actually volunteered to drive you, which is progress. And if I’m being honest, it would really give me peace of mind if I knew you were in the car with one of my friends instead of alone on a crowded, dingy train.”

“James, I really don’t think–”

“Please, sweetheart? For me?”

You exhale slowly, clasping your hands together to stop them from shaking. If Bucky had so much faith in Steve, then maybe it was you who was overthinking everything. Maybe Steve genuinely was turning a new leaf, and who were you to deny someone when they were doing you a favour? The drive down to Brooklyn would be long, but not too long. And Steve hadn’t been mean to you for many weeks now, so maybe it would all be okay?

“Okay, Bucky. If that’s what you want.” You agree softly.

“Great! Steve told me to tell you that he’ll pick you up at 3.”

***

Steve arrives outside your dorm at 2:55pm. Actually, you see his car pull up at around 2:45, and then you watch him park it and sit there drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. And then he gets out of the car and paces around for a while before finally making his way over to your door and knocking on it rather loudly. You give him a quiet hello and he gives you a grunt in return, the exchange giving you a sick feeling in your tummy – would it be this quiet and awkward for the whole journey? Before you can worry some more, Steve takes your overnight bag from your hands and leads you to his car.

“Put your seatbelt on.” He orders you the moment you sit down in the passenger seat.

“I was just about to.” You respond, a tad defensive because he hadn’t even given you a chance to breathe before he’d started ordering you around.

“Just do it.”

“Okay.”

He doesn’t start the car until your seatbelt is firmly in place, and then you sit there twiddling your thumbs in silence because Steve doesn’t even have the radio on. You wonder if you should start a conversation, but you feel too shy. Which is crazy, since you’d really been starting to come out of your shell these past few months. But not with Steve. He was way too intimidating and scary and just… intense.

“How’s your toe?” He asks you gruffly out of the blue about ten minutes into the journey.

“It’s all good, thank you for asking.” Your response is cordial, and you wonder if you sound bitchy or clipped. It certainly isn’t your intention, but you’ve definitely got your guard up and you don’t really know how to speak to him.

Steve sighs, and there’s another fifteen minutes of silence before he pulls into a traffic jam, and that’s when he turns to face you.

“I broke up with Sharon.”

Your eyes widen and you feel your heart skip a beat, “Oh…uh…Oh.”

He nods, “Yeah. I took your advice.”

That makes you snap out of whatever momentary shock his sudden revelation had put you in. “My advice? Wh-What do you mean?”

The car starts moving again, and Steve takes his time to reply, and you wonder whether he can hear your heart pitter-pattering loudly in your chest as you anticipate his response.

“I’ve heard you, you know. All those times you complained to Bucky, asking him why I was with Sharon if I clearly didn’t care about her. And you were right, so I took your advice and I dumped her.”

You clear your throat, nervously tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear, “I didn’t mean… Well… She deserves better, Steve.” You inhale deeply and turn to look out the window – either out of awkwardness or because you can’t seem to meet his gaze. But he’s got a weird pull about him, practically reeling you back in and you can’t help but look back at him once he starts speaking again.

“I told her I wasn’t interested in her anymore. That I was in love with somebody else.” Steve takes a turn off the highway, and you sit there frozen in shock as he takes quick left and right turns, eventually driving into a small, deserted street, where he parks the car. You swallow, but there’s a huge lump in your throat that you can’t seem to get rid of.

“Wh-Why are we stopping here, Steve?”

“I like how my name sounds when you say it.” His hand creeps over the console in a bid to grab yours, and you quickly move back. Your back slams against the door as you cringe away from him, eyes wide and heart racing.

“Wh-What are you doing? Stop!”

Steve scoffs, “Please. Don’t play dumb, I know you like me too. And the sooner you stop denying it, the easier all of this will be for you.”

You can hardly believe what you’re hearing, it’s almost like your own ears are playing tricks on you. As if you’re Alice falling down some weird rabbit hole into a dimension where nothing makes sense. Was this a joke? Was he pulling some sort of prank? But he’s got that same earnest, honest look in his eyes, the look he’d had at the bowling alley. But you swallow and shake your head rapidly.

“Steve, no, I’m with James. He’s my boyfriend, I don’t like you like that –”

“DON’T LIE!” Steve bursts out, and the sudden explosion of anger makes you jump out of your seat, and the panic that ensues in your heart has you grabbing the door handle in a desperate bid to get out of the car and away from him. But of course, the door remains locked, and now you can really feel the cold terror and dread as it overtakes your body.

Steve exhales slowly, running a hand through his blonde hair, “Don’t. Lie.” He repeats, reaching over to forcibly grab your wrist. And his touch alone sense goosebumps up and down your arm. “I knew we had a connection from the moment I saw you. And then at the bowling alley on our date, I knew you felt it too.”

“Y-You mean our double date,” you say slowly, incredulity dripping from your tone, “where you were with your girlfriend and I was with my boyfriend.”

Steve shakes his head, his grip on your wrist tightening, “You were the only one I could focus on that night.” And then, as you watch in horror, he brings your hand up to his lips, kissing it as his eyes flutter shut, almost like he’s savouring kissing your skin for the first time. And you feel every cell in your body, from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes, flutter as he does it. He locks eyes with you, “And I saw how you reacted that night when you opened my gift, that’s how I knew you liked me too.”

His gift? The terror in your veins seems to triple in less than a second, and you feel like you might throw up. You think back to all those bouquets of yellow roses with no name on the notes that accompanied them. And your favourite stuffed teddy with the coal black eyes and blue bow tie. No. No, it couldn’t be. And he’d watched you open them? How?

“N-No, those were from James!” You bat at him, trying to get him to let go of your hand. You suddenly can’t breathe, can’t think. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. “Those flowers were from James!”

“Sure.” Steve snorts, “Is that why you never even mentioned them to him? You knew deep down they weren’t from him, omega. You knew.”

“No, no, no–”

“And how could they be from him? He doesn’t understand you. Not like I do.” He tries to cup your cheek with his warm hand but you dodge him, shaken down to your very core by all the revelations hurtling towards you at top speed. Steve narrows his eyes at you for a second, before grabbing your hand again. “You think he doesn’t tell me everything, omega? You think I don’t know that you haven’t even let him fuck you yet?”

You feel you’ve just been doused with a bucket of ice-cold water, and all you can do is gape helplessly at Steve, any words you may have had on the tip of your tongue now firmly lodged in the back of your throat.

Steve smirks, “That’s right. He told me you haven’t let him fuck you, and it’s been what, three months since you guys started going out?”

“I wanted to wait till I was ready.” You whisper.

“You keep telling yourself that.” Steve laughs bitterly, “But you and I both know the truth, which is that you’ll never be ready. Not for him. Because you don’t want him to fuck you, you don’t want that intimacy with him.” He yanks you closer with the hold he has on your wrist, till your foreheads are almost touching and you’re frozen in place by not only your fear but something else too. Something warm and inviting.

“If you were my girlfriend, you’d already be three months pregnant.”

Your jaw drops open, only a tiny squeak making its way out past your lips. It’s as if he’s stolen all the air from your lungs, and all the thoughts from your brain. You feel hot all over, but also numb. You feel nothing yet everything all at once, and you can’t believe what he’s saying.

“But that’s okay, we still have plenty of time for that.” Steve nods determinedly, his eyes clouding over with an almost wistful, faraway look. “Baby, I have a plan for us. I’m graduating soon, and I want you by my side as the mother of my children. You’re perfect for me, and I’ll give you the family you crave.”

It’s like he’s lit a candle inside you. A tiny, almost minuscule candle of hope fuelled by the picture his words paint, but it flames fiercely nevertheless. Until you forcibly snuff it out and shake your head once more, and deliver more futile pushes to get him to let you go.

“Y-You’re crazy! I don’t want that, Steve! I don’t want any of that!”

“You do.”

“No, I don’t!”

“Yes. You do.” Steve sneers, twisting your arm when you grow more desperate, your movements ceasing as you stare up at him helplessly. But his face remains stoic, and a wild piece of blonde hair flops down over his forehead. “I told you; Bucky tells me everything. How you never really fully open up to him, how you get closed off and distant and sad sometimes and he can’t figure out why because you never tell him.”

“Th-That’s between me and him–”

“Don’t you get it?” He grabs you by the shoulders, shaking you as if he’s had an epiphany and wants you to have it too. “I’m the one who knows you, omega. Not him.” His hand reaches up to cup the wide of your face again, and this time he succeeds because you’re frozen in place. His voice softens, “I know you feel like your mother doesn’t care about you. I know you feel lonely despite being in a relationship with Bucky. I know you felt like this even in your previous relationship before Bucky. And I know you don’t have a dad, and I know it hurts–”

“No, no, no, no!” The tears are welling up in your eyes now, and you feel like you can’t breathe. Like you’re hyperventilating and there’s no escape and you can’t run away because this stupid car is locked and you’re in the middle of nowhere and you’ve never told anyone about your dad! You never talk about that with anyone. You don’t even think about it! How did he know?!

“Hey, hey, calm down.” Steve rubs his wrists over your face, and the tranquil effect of a hot midsummer afternoon warms you from the inside out. You feel your heartbeat go back to normal, and you’re able to breathe again. You look up to see Steve’s face inches away from yours, and all you can feel are the pads of his thumbs slowly stroking your cheekbones, and for the life of you, you can’t explain why you just let him do it.

“Do you ever get that yearning feeling, baby?” He asks you softly, so softly that you almost don’t hear it. His blue eyes sparkle with determination and earnesty, and he holds your face so carefully in his hands. “Tell me, do you ever get that feeling? Of wanting something so bad but you can’t seem to figure out what it is?”

“Yes.” You whisper hushedly, dropping your head in shame. Your heart throbs with the same guilt that you’ve been feeling for days now. Horrific, unforgiving guilt that washes through your body in taunting waves.

Steve kisses you then. And it feels like everything around you seems to stand still. Every particle, every atom, every hair, every speck of dust freezes in place. You close your eyes, and it’s like the sun itself descends down to the earth, making everything bask in its addicting glow. Fireworks and explosions behind your eyes and all around you, his warmth enveloping you like a hug. An embrace of delicious heat that feels like you’re home. Really home, and it’s something you’ve never felt before.

And then you start crying.

“I can’t do this to him.” You pull away, and the panic you feel is almost immediate. “Steve, I… We can’t do this to Bucky. He’s so good to me, he doesn’t deserve this! We can’t, we can’t–”

“He’ll understand.” Steve says firmly, keeping a tight hold on you. “It’ll be hard for him, but once he sees that we’re in love, he’ll understand. And it’s good for him too, because this way he can find a mate who is better suited for him.”

Through the haze of Steve’s smoky firewood and hot summer day scent, you think back to Bucky and his crinkled smile. How he’d been the first one to speak to you on your first day, how he’d walked you to the library and how at ease you’d felt with him. How his lopsided smile, sparkling eyes and effortless charm had reeled you in. All the nights spent cuddling or watching TV or just talking and talking and talking. How respectful he’d been of your boundaries; how sweet and patient and intuitive he’d been any time you felt uncomfortable or upset.

How he’d complimented you every chance he got, building up your self-esteem through his love and adoration. How his easy-going nature made you feel so comfortable… But yet not comfortable enough to let him in. And that’s when the guilt seems to attack every cell of your body, killing you from the inside out. Why? Why couldn’t you just let Bucky in? Why couldn’t you just love him? Why, why, why?

Why did it have to turn out this way?

“No.” You shake your head, trying to shake away the thick haze of Steve’s scent which seems to be corrupting your every sense. And when you next speak, your voice is firmer, and you wipe the tears from your face, and you sit up straight, and you shrug his hands off of you. “No, Steve. We can’t do this. I need to get out, I need to–”

Steve’s eyes narrow once more, “Omega, listen to me–”

“Let me out of this car! Just let me out, okay! I’m not doing this to him! You’re wrong, Steve! You’re wrong, wrong, wrong! I don’t like you like that!” You rattle the door handle desperately, but of course it doesn’t budge. “Let me out, Steve! I can’t think in here, I need to get out! I need to speak to Bucky, I need to… I need to…”

You feel yourself going lax in his arms, your limbs turning to jelly as he places his hand on your mating gland, fingers pressing down. It sends thrills and shivers up and down your body as he draws you back to him, closer and closer till he’s embracing you.

“I’m your alpha.” Steve whispers in your ear, and the possessiveness in his tone rocks you to your very core. “You’re my omega, all mine. It’s like you were made for me. And that’s all that matters.”

You’re about to protest once more, and then you feel his teeth graze against your mating gland. It feels peculiar, thrilling, dangerous all at the same time. But the threat of his action doesn’t register immediately, and it takes you a second too long to realise, and then–

“No, Steve, don’t! Don’t!”

A blood-curdling scream leaves your mouth. Steve’s teeth are sharp and unforgiving as they clamp down on your mating gland. And his bite if so painful, like he’s chipping and tearing away at any traces of autonomy left in your body. The sensitive skin of your neck breaks and tears along with the last remnants of your independence.

Everything stills around you. Everything but Steve. He’s all you can feel now. His heartbeat, loud and wild. Or is that your heartbeat? Everything feels different, nothing is the same. It’s all Steve. All of your senses are Steve. All of your feelings are Steve.

“I’m never gonna let you go.” Steve whispers against the fresh wound on your neck, licking at his handiwork which will soon turn into a mark that brands you as his forever.

His presence around you is infinite. The intense heat of his aura mixed with his addictive scent, hitting you from all angles like a tidal wave.

And, like a bittersweet film coming to an end, it washes away the memory of Bucky before you even have the chance to say goodbye.

SDKGKSLAG OKAY.

So.... did I just present y’all with a Steve x omega fic disguised as Bucky fic?? Despite hyping the Bucky fic for MONTHS? Well... *dodges tomatoes* Yes. Yes I did. I’M SORRY BUCKY GIRLIES. STOMEGA FOREVER. This was the plan from the start, because it doesn’t matter if Bucky asked for omega’s number first - she would always end up with Steve. In any AU. In every AU. ANYWAYS. GUYS. I hope you liked it and I hope you’re not mad! I really really really would love to know what yall thought! Like genuinely, I jsut NEED to know what you guys thought of this bc honestly... I am not so sure AHHHHH. okay i’ll shut up now. Bye.

#bucky barnes #steve rogers #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #dark steve rogers #sebastian stan #chris evans #sebastian stan x reader

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