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proxima-writes · 8 months

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Title: No Closer Could I Be To God

Pairing: Post-outbreak!Joel Miller x Female Reader

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary:

The closest he’s been to a god in these last few miserable years has been between your thighs.

Dear Reader:

This one is for the homies with religious trauma. If you enjoy this little fic, please comment or reblog! Title art is "Through Cataclysm" by Andreas Birath (b. 1974).

Warnings:

explicit sexual content (18+ MDNI), infidelity, no use of y/n, no reader description or age, single POV - Joel, post-outbreak Jackson, heavy religious themes and imagery, unprotected p in v, oral sex - f receiving, dirty talk, pet names, begging.

Joel Miller gave up on the notion of a benevolent god around the time the light faded from his daughter’s eyes and he was left to hold her lifeless body. Since then, he’s only seen glimpses of that former goodness in the world — in Tess and the way she fought tooth and nail for their survival and in Ellie, once she quit being such a pain in the ass.

But perhaps the closest he’s been to a god in these last few miserable years has been between your thighs.

“Joel!” You cry out, squirming beneath his tight grip. He’s got you laid out on the work bench, thighs hugging his head as he licks and sucks your clit until you’re singing his praises. The storage shed is hot, sweat gathering at his neck and beading at his temple and making his fingers slip against your damp skin.

“Shhh, baby,” he murmurs, dragging his mouth away from your center and licking his lips to gather every drop of you from his flesh. “You’re fuckin’ loud today.”

“Sorry,” you whisper, voice breathy as your chest heaves with desperate breaths. “It’s been too long.”

“I know,” Joel agrees, standing up and leaning forward to steal a kiss, your hot mouth opening immediately for his tongue to explore. You taste like shitty instant coffee and mint, his favorite flavor as long as you're the source. “‘M sorry.”

Your fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck, nails scratching against his scalp. He drags his lips across your jaw, down your neck, sinking his teeth briefly against your pulse point to make you shiver.

The modest dress you’re wearing is rucked up around your waist and Joel reaches down to slip his fingers past the elastic of your underwear, sinking two digits inside of you and groaning at how tight you are, how warm and wet you get for him. Your quiet whimper reaches his ears and he wishes he could hear you without restraint, wishes he knew how loud you could be. He’s fairly certain it’s as close to a choir of angels he could ever get.

Especially since he’s destined for hell. But that’s neither here nor there. Right now, he’s in heaven.

He removes his fingers, reaching up to slip them past your lips for a quick clean. Your tongue glides across his fingertips and your eyelids flutter shut as he uses his free hand to work his belt open with clumsy movements. He shoves his jeans and boxers down his hips, just enough to expose the hard length of his cock.

Joel pulls his hand away from your face, using his spit slick fingers to pump himself. With his other hand, he reaches into the chest pocket of his flannel shirt for his knife.

Your eyes go wide as he pops the blade open, slipping the cold steel beneath the elastic of your panties and tugging sharply. The fabric snaps, echoing your gasp, your mouth dropped open in surprise. He doesn’t give you long to recover, sliding his cock through your wet folds and smiling in satisfaction as your expression shifts from incredulity to pleasure.

“You ready?” Joel grunts, his tip catching at your entrance. You nod your head rapidly, but he’s in the mood to hear you beg. “Words, sweetheart.”

“Please, Joel,” you murmur. Your lashes glisten with captured tears and the sight makes his blood run hot. “Please, please, please!”

Joel presses forward, sinking into your body with ease. You have one hand on the workbench behind you to support yourself but the other grips his shoulder tightly, fingernails sure to leave little indents in his skin even through the fabric of his shirt.

“Christ,” he hisses, dropping his head into the crook of your neck. “Always feel so fuckin’ good. How is it always so fuckin’ good?”

“Need you to move,” you reply. “Please, Joel.”

And what is he if not your good and faithful servant?

Joel draws his hips back and thrusts sharply, lifting his head to watch your face as he does. This is his favorite part, staring into the Garden of Eden, enjoying his forbidden fruit. You whimper and moan, teeth digging into your bottom lip to keep quiet.

When he feels that knot of pleasure coiling tight in his belly, he curses and chases it all at once. It’s always over too soon when all he wants is to worship at your altar for eternity.

“Angel,” he murmurs, wrapping an arm around your low back as your own circle his shoulders. “Need you to come for me, baby.”

You whine, high and petulant. “No, no, no,” you chant, “Not yet.”

Joel leans forward to capture your lips with his, the action more of a sharing of breath that lacks any coordination of a proper kiss. He slips his hand between your bodies to circle your clit, the responding moan swallowed by his greedy mouth.

“Good thing you don’t make the rules,” he grunts, hips stuttering as you begin to squeeze around him. He may not inherit the kingdom of god, but he at least got a glimpse of heaven today.

Your legs drop from around his waist and he lifts his head to find your gaze. He always worries what he’ll see — disgust, guilt, and shame have all been reflected back at him before. But today…today you just smile softly, your skin damp with sweat and your lips swollen from his kisses and your teeth.

“Joel,” you murmur, pressing a palm to his cheek. “I have to go.”

Joel nods, knowing you’re right. He’s kept you long enough. Gray light filters through the dirt caked window of the little shed and you should get back to your home to get ready for Sunday service.

“I’ll see you around,” he replies, wrapping a hand behind your neck to pull you forward and give you one last hungry kiss before stepping away to right his pants. He holds a hand out to you to help you down from the work bench and watches as you fix your dress.

You give him one last watery smile before leaving through the flimsy wooden door. It slams back against the frame, the sound sharp to Joel’s ears. He sighs, counting to himself as he catalogs the spiderwebs and rusted tools in the shed.

There’s a flash of white in the corner of his eye. The mangled fabric of your panties sits discarded on the ground, and he leans forward to pick them up, pocketing them. For what, he’s not sure, but he’ll take any piece of you he can get.

Even if it’s just the part you’ve carelessly left behind.

________

Later, your husband stands at the dented podium to deliver his Sunday morning sermon to the good people of Jackson who still turn to religion for comfort and guidance. Joel isn’t one of those people, but he sits on a rough wooden bench across the aisle from you. Your panties are still tucked away in his pocket and he wonders if you’ve cleaned up already, or if you’re still full of him even as you sit there watching your husband.

“…And we see this spoken of in Proverbs 7:25 — ‘Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng. Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death’.”

Joel looks towards you as the words settle among the crowd. Your gaze remains steadfastly on your husband, but your hands move restlessly in your lap. When Joel looks up at the podium, he finds your husband’s righteous glare trained on him.

Maybe Joel was wrong. He hasn’t found heaven in you.

He’s just found a deeper hell.

Joel Miller masterlist

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#joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller x female reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel tlou #no use of y/n #joel x reader #tw infidelity #tw cheating #tw religious themes #tw religious mention #tw religious imagery

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frownyalfred · 1 month

Note

Clark will cheat on Lois and get bruce pregnant, but when bruce realizes how the breakup of Lois and clark might break clark, he just keeps it a secret and almost dies multiple times

Oh wow, anon. I was going for like a 9/10 on angst. This is all the way past 11. Oh the possibilities!

#asks #anon #I’m not complaining #I’m just in awe of your brain anon #bruce wayne #batman #dc #myfic #theresurrectionist #batfamily #clark kent #superbat #clois #tw infidelity #mpreg tw #mpreg mention

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inlovewithpandora · 1 year

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- Forever Doesn’t Last -

Pairing: Neteyam (20) x Omatikaya fem! reader (19)

Request: Yes || No

Based on this request

Synopsis: You caught your boyfriend cheating on you and the next day he dumped you for her. Your heart was shattered and your best friend Neteyam was there to help pick up the pieces. Neteyam was hoping this would be his opportunity to make you see him as more than a friend.

Content: childhood bestfriends to lovers, angst, comfort, fluff, infidelity, mentions of sex, arguing, mentions of STD’s (you’ll see why) mild swearing

Author’s Note:

- idk if Na’vi are actually able to get STD’s or have a form of their own but for the sake of this story let’s pretend they can😭

- italicized words indicate a flashback

- if you see mistakes please excuse them

Word Count: 4.1k

Extra: Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are highly appreciated🩷!

Links: Navigation || Avatar Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Taglist

Darkness.

That's all you felt, all you could see.

You haven't left your pod in days, the way you felt currently was like someone came and stomped on your heart. As you sat in the darkness of your pod the past events that caused you to be in this condition played through your head.

You and your boyfriend Tawal haven't been spending that much time together because he told you he's been busy with warrior training which you understood. You decided to make his favorite meal and bring it to him as a surprise so the both of you could spend quality time together.

As you walked closer to his pod you could hear faint noises, 'what is that?' you thought to yourself. As you got closer walking ever so quietly you begin to hear a woman's voice, "Yes! T-Tawal j-just like that" You heard the unknown woman moan out in pleasure.

The curtain to his pod was slightly open so you could see Tawal rutting into her as lewd noises evaded the woman and Tawal's mouth. As you watched them your eyes began to water. You couldn't believe the man you loved decided to cheat on you and screw this woman. You wanted to barge in there and rip his head off but you didn't instead, you went home and cried yourself to sleep.

The next day as you clean around your pod, you heard someone's footsteps enter "Good morning" you heard Tawal say as he sat down at your table "Where is my breakfast? You usually have breakfast prepared for me when I come over" He looked at you confused as to why this routine changed all of a sudden.

You let out a dark chuckle while shaking your head, "Why don't you have that woman you were fucking yesterday do it for you" You scowled at him as his eyebrows raised "What are you talking about Y/N? I wasn't with a woman yesterday " He said as he began walking up to you and tried to kiss your lips.

You backed up from him and began raising your voice, "Stop playing stupid Tawal I HEARD her moaning your name I SAW you thrusting into her like a wild animal!"

"How did you even hear and see us? What were you do—"

"It doesn't matter what I was doing, the point is that I caught you and I can't believe you just tried to act like it wasn't true! How could you cheat on me Tawal?! How could you just decide to go sleep with some random girl!?" As you yelled he didn’t even say anything and you hated how he looked so serene.

"SAY SOMETHING YOU ASSHOLE!"

Tawal's once calm demeanor changed to an angry one, you calling him an 'asshole' flickered something in him. "You want to know why I did it?! Fine, I'll tell you! We've been together for almost a year and we haven't even had sex one time! all we do is kiss and touch and that shit is boring"

"I told you before we started dating I didn't want to have sex until we mated and you said you were okay with that!" You were always a little insecure about wanting to wait. Deep down you felt like Tawal would do something like this because you weren't giving him the full package.

"Well, clearly I'm not! I can't be with a woman who can't fully gratify me, that's why I'm breaking up with you and I'm going to mate with Zora. She is a woman who can FULLY tend to my needs" As you heard him say that your heart felt like it broke in half. You couldn't believe the man you loved just said another woman could satisfy him.

"Zora?! You wanna mate with Zora?! That's the woman you want instead of me?!" you say as hot tears began to stain your cheeks "Someone who has fucked every man in the clan?! that's someone you want to mate with?!"

Zora is a promiscuous woman who is well known by any and every man in the clan. She sleeps with anyone that gives her the slightest attention. If a man even made eye contact with her she was ready to spread her legs wide open for him.

"Yes, it is! She is— you know what?! Why am I even explaining myself to you? It doesn't even matter just listen to my words I DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE!" He yelled so loud that you are sure that the whole clan heard.

Hearing him say he didn't want you made your heartache, "W-We were suppose to be together forever Tawal! Y-you promised me we would always be together forever! How could you do this to us?!"

It was like everything changed between the two of you in a blink of an eye. Like he just changed into this monster overnight.

"Forever doesn't last when there isn't anything there anymore Y/N! Do you not get that?!" As he watched you cry he didn't even feel an ounce of guilt for the pain he caused you, he felt like you brought this upon yourself. "I stopped loving you a while ago, maybe if you would've been putting out like a real woman should this wouldn't have happened!"

The sadness you felt was soon replaced with a feeling of fierce anger

"YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU TAWAL! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! LEAVE! NOW!" You shouted with venom falling off your lips as you hit him in the chest and pushed him toward the entryway of your pod. You couldn't stand to look at him anymore, looking at the cold expression on his face made your stomach churn. His words lingering in the air made you feel physical pain.

"DON'T COME BACK!" You shoved him out of your pod and tied your curtain closed so no one could come in.

That was the last time you saw him and the first day you felt gloom grow inside you.

Ever since that day, you haven't stepped foot out of your pod. You didn't want to see anyone, you didn't want to hear people whispering about you and Tawal, and you just couldn't handle the discomfiture right now. You didn't even want to see your best friend Neteyam, you didn't want him to see you so broken and distraught.

The past few days you haven't been taking care of yourself or your home properly. Your pod was a mess and you haven't been eating. You didn't have the strength to do anything except cry. Every time someone would come to make sure you were okay you would just snarl at them and tell them to leave and everyone would do what you asked.

At this time you were laying down in your makeshift bed balling your eyes out. Your emotions were still raw from the fight and breakup with Tawal and it was hitting you like a brick wall. You didn't want to do anything except weep into your pillow, you were crying so much that your head was throbbing. You just felt so lost and broken and you loathed Tawal for making you feel like this.

As you continued feeling melancholic you heard a voice, "Y/N let me come in, I want to make sure you're okay" Neteyam said as he stood outside your pod. He has been so worried about you ever since he heard you and Tawal argue. He didn't know what the origin was but he knew it must've been bad.

"Neteyam leave me be! Go away!" You yell out hoping he would leave. He's been coming by every day and every time you sent him away, he usually listened and left but today he wasn't going to leave.

"No, I'm not leaving until I know you're okay. You're my best friend and I haven't seen you in days."

"Neteyam please leave! I-I don't want to see you! I don't want you to see me like this!" You say as your voice began to crack. You hated that you kept turning him away but you just couldn't face him in this state.

When Neteyam heard your voice crack he felt a twinge in his heart, "Y/N please let me in, let me be there for you" You could hear slight desperation in his voice, you knew that he wanted to see you.

You knew that Neteyam was going to keep persisting so you let out a sigh and sluggishly made your way to the curtain so you could untie it for him to come in. Once you untied it you walked back into your bed and pulled your blanket around your body. "Come in Neteyam" you say just loud enough for him to hear you from outside.

Neteyam pulled the curtain back and walked in. His eyes widened when he saw the condition of your pod. He knew you were a very clean and tidy person so for you to have a messy pod he knew something was definitely bothering you.

Neteyam walks over to you and sits down at the end of the bed, "Y/N please talk to me what's wrong? What’s going on with you and Tawal?"

Hearing his name made your ears pin to the side of your head and made you sit up with an angry glare, "Do not speak of him in my house. I do not want to hear his name" you tell him as more tears flow down your face.

This was the first time Neteyam has seen you in days and he began to take in your appearance. You had puffy eyes with dark circles, your hair was all over the place and you just didn't look anything like your normal self. "Y/N what happened? Did he do something to you?" He put his hands on your arms and began to rub them softly.

You haven't had contact with anyone in days, feeling Neteyam's warmth radiating towards you as his fingertips glided against your skin and his concern-filled eyes made you cry even harder, "I- was walking *sniffle* to his pod and I saw him w-with—he was—" you couldn't even finish your sentence without breaking out into a sob. "Shhh it's okay Y/N you don't have to tell me right now" He brought you into his embrace and began rubbing your back to comfort you as your head was on his shoulder. He could gather what you were trying to say and he saw Tawal and Zora sneaking off together earlier today so he connected the dots.

"I'm here for you Y/N, I'm going to help you get through this. You won't feel like this forever, the pain you feel will soon subside. I'll be by your side no matter what" Neteyam could see how broken you were and he was going to help you pick up the pieces.

That day Neteyam stayed and comforted you. After a while, Neteyam was able to get you to calm down and you began to drift off to sleep on his shoulder. "Y/N?" He whispered, he didn't hear you respond so he assumed you fell asleep. He laid your body gently back onto the bed and pulled the cover over you so that you wouldn't be cold.

He then turned around and began walking into the open area of your pod. He began to clean up your pod for you as you slept peacefully. He wanted to start helping you get into a better head space and by being in a clean environment he felt like that would help.

You and Neteyam have been best friends ever since the two of you were children. One day you were playing with your toy hexapede in a patch of moss and a group of little kids began to tease you. Neteyam watched the interaction from afar and marched over to where you were and ran the children away. You thanked Neteyam for helping you and from that day forward the two of you were inseparable.

As both of you got older Neteyam started to grow feelings for you. He never expressed his feelings because he didn't know how you would react and he didn't want to ruin your friendship so he hid his feelings from you. Anytime the two of you were together and you weren't paying attention he would give you loving glances and would admire your beautiful smile. He always loved seeing your usual joyful spirit so seeing you so in such a broken state pained him.

Hours went by and he finally finished cleaning your pod from top to bottom. As he was admiring his work you began to wake up. You began hearing movement in your pod and you assumed it was your best friend, "Teyam?"

When Neteyam heard your voice he immediately came to where you were, "Yes?"

"What are you still doing here? I thought you would've left by now..." you say as you rubbed your eyes with sleep still lingering in your voice.

"I stayed and did a little something for you" he said with a soft smile which made you fur your eyebrows, "what do you mean? What did you do?"

Without saying a word he put out his hand for you to grab. You moved your hand toward him and he helped you up and intertwined his hand with yours and began walking to the open area of your pod. As you followed him you looked around and saw that all the things you had sprawled out and the piles of mess you had were cleaned up.

As you walked deeper into the open area and saw how spotless everything was your eyes widened, "Neteyam did you clean all of this for me?"

"Yes of course I did, I wanted to help you so I did one of the things I'm good at which it's cleaning"

When you looked at Neteyam you could see a warm smile on his face. You knew that Neteyam always loved to help people but for him to help you brought out a feeling you haven't felt in the past few days which was happiness.

A soft smile spread across your face as you wrapped your arms around Neteyam's neck and pulled him for a hug, "Thank you Neteyam, you didn't have to do this for me"

At first, Neteyam was surprised by your sudden contact but he was glad to see your smile again. He wrapped his arms around your waist and hugged you back, "Your welcome, I know I didn't have to but I wanted to"

As both of you hugged it felt like butterflies swarmed your stomach, you've never felt this sensation with Neteyam before so it was new to you. You unwrapped your arms from around his neck and pulled back and began looking into his golden eyes. His eyes were piercing your soul, it was almost like he was trying to tell you something.

This is the moment you realized that you and Neteyam's friendship was going to slowly change. You didn't know what direction it would go but you were interested in finding out.

—

Over this past month, Neteyam has been helping and caring for you vastly. In the beginning, you were nervous about being around the clan again, scared that you would overhear them gossiping about you. You told Neteyam about how you felt and from that point on every time you had to walk around the village he was right by your side. When he would hear someone whispering your name or even look at you the wrong way he would bare his teeth and their actions would come to a halt.

In the beginning, you were starting to get back to your normal self being happy and bright but sometimes the gloom you once felt consumed you and took you back to the emotions you felt the day you found Tawal with Zora.

Neteyam would find you crying or throwing things angrily around your pod. He would quickly come to you and wipe your tears and tell you everything would be okay or he would grab whatever was in your hand and calm you down.

Some nights he even stayed over with you just to make sure you were okay throughout the night. Some of those nights you would peacefully sleep and some nights you went on full rants about how much of an asshole Tawal was and sat there Neteyam and listened to your every word, saying little things every few seconds to let you know he was actively listening.

As the weeks progressed you were finally getting over Tawal. Seeing him in the village with Zora didn't affect you anymore, at first when the wound he created on your heart was fresh you wanted to break their unholy union. But after a while, you realized that it was only a matter of time before Eywa gave him the karma he deserves.

Over this month your friendship with Neteyam has changed, you were now seeing him in a new light.

You were now seeing him romantically.

Whenever you saw him you paid more attention to his physique. The way his body was sculpted so beautifully and how his cummerbund was wrapped around his small waist.

Every time Neteyam would grab your hand and walk beside you through the forest you felt sparks of electricity go through you, you felt blissful with him. Now when you were around him you never wanted him to leave, you wanted him to be glued to your side.

These feelings you felt with Neteyam you've never felt before not even with Tawal. The way Neteyam was making you feel was something truly unique.

Over this month Neteyam's feelings for you have grown and he felt them immensely. He felt like his heart was going to explode at the sight of you, every time he walked and talked with you he felt a overwhelming amount of serotonin rush through his veins.

It has now gotten to the point where he couldn't hide his feelings from you anymore, he had to tell you in the hope that you felt the same.

You and Neteyam were currently sitting next to each other carving and painting wooden beads. As he watched you paint your beads he could see a joyous smile plastered onto your face, "Teyam this is fun!" you tell him with child like excitement as you dip your fingers into the bowl of green paint. "Yeah this is fun" he chuckled as he continued carving beads for you to paint.

Since you were in a happy mood he felt like this was the best time to confess his feelings for you, "Y/N I've been wanting to tell you something for a while..."

You looked up from what you were doing and faced him, "Okay what is it?"

Neteyam took in a deep breath and mentally said a prayer to Eywa that this would go the way he hopes, "Every since we were young I've liked you romantically. For years I have yearned for you, in secrecy and silence and I just can't dismiss my feelings for you anymore" As Neteyam notices your gaze on the ground he grabs your chin lightly and looks at you with a loving gaze "I can't pretend that I don't love you anymore because I do".

As you sat there and listened to Neteyam's words and looked into his golden eyes you felt a deep affection for him. Over the past month, your feelings have grown for him too. "I'm infatuated with you Neteyam, I've been for a while I was just waiting for you" you say brightly as your eye’s begin to glisten with happiness

"I see you Teyam"

"I see you too Y/N, I will always see you" Neteyam pulled you into his lap and wrapped his arms around your waist. You laid back on his chest with your head in the crook of his neck while he leaned up against the tree behind him. From being so close together you could feel his warmth mixing with yours.

The two of you sat together watching the sun set on the forest as both of you just embraced each other and soaked up the loving aura in the air.

—

As you and Neteyam were walking through the forest you heard Lo'ak calling out for both of you, "Y/N! Neteyam!" Both of you turned around and saw Lo'ak walking toward the two of you.

"What is it baby bro?" Neteyam asked with a confused look, wondering why he was calling them

"Did you two hear about Tawal and Zora?" Lo'ak said while trying to hold back a laugh

"No what happened?" You asked him

"There's is a rumor going around the clan that since they mated Zora has still been sleeping with other men and she gave Tawal an STD" Lo'ak said while laughing

Your eyes widen as you heard Lo'ak tell you this information, "Really?!"

"Yes I even heard him ask one of the elders if there was anything to get rid of his 'burning and itching' problem"

You and Neteyam began to laugh as you heard of Tawal's issue. You knew that Eywa was going to give him some sort of karma and this was it.

"He brought it on himself by knowingly sleeping with a woman who has slept with every man in the twice. He knew what he was getting himself into" you said while shrugging your shoulders. You didn't feel any remorse for him but how could you after what he did to you?

As you, Neteyam, and Lo'ak continued laughing you could see Tawal walking past the three of you. Tawal walked past trying not to be seen but it didn't work out in his favor, "Hey Tawal! Are you still itching and burning from Zora?!" Lo'ak yelled out which made you and Neteyam break out into laughter.

"Lo'ak!" you were beginning to grow breathless as laughs erupted from your throat. You tried to seize your laughter but you couldn't. The situation was just too hilarious not to laugh.

As Tawal heard all of you laughing he grew so embarrassed that his tail tucked in between his legs. He began to speed walk away, trying to get away from the three of you as quick as he could.

As Tawal walked away he could see you and Neteyam holding hands. It sickened him to see you with him but he knew that he messed up all his chances with you. Tawal knew you deserved someone better and that Neteyam was better deserving of your love and affection.

Tawal looks back at you one more time before walking away. As he thought about the good times both of you had and how you use to make him laugh, a single tear fell down his cheek. He felt so stupid for messing this up with you for Zora. After he and Zora mated he realized everything he felt for her was lust, they didn't have any real connection like the one both of you shared. He didn't know why his past self broke up with you for a bottom-of-the-barrel woman.

As he walked away he saw Zora walk up to him, "Tawal why are crying? What is wrong?" She asked him as she went to reach out for his hand. Tawal scoffed and backed away from her, "Get away from Zora, you're what's wrong with me. You ruined the best relationship I had and you gave me a disease for Eywa's sake! I mated with you and you continued to sleep around, you told me you would stop but you didn't. You've made me look like a fool in front of the whole clan!" They began to have a loud argument which drew your attention.

As you look at him you were glad that he ended things off with you because if he hadn't you wouldn't have been able to have Neteyam as a lover. You were thankful to Eywa that she destined this path for you, that she made you and Neteyam's stars aligned. You were thankful that your best friend turn into your lover.

You move closer to Neteyam and lean in to kiss his cheek. Neteyam turns and looked down at you with his loving eyes, "What was that for?"

"It was because I love you" you say as warmth spreads across your cheeks and they begin to turn a light shade of purple.

You begin to see his lips curl up into a smile. He grabs your chin lightly and pulls you in for a soft yet loving kiss, "I love you too, I'll always love you forever"

I hope you enjoyed🩷!

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multi-lefaiye · 7 months

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SALVATORE INKTOBER 8-9. OLD WORLD LEGACY

Clarence O'Malley (1903-1983) was a mountain of a man, the older brother to Leslie's mother Anna. Whereas Anna was never closely involved with the family business, Clarence was from a very young age. The Emerald Devils hit their peak during Prohibition, and this was when Clarence made his fortune smuggling whiskey around the United States. He very quickly rose through the ranks, soon becoming a key enforcer and overseeing many of the Devils' operations. Even when Prohibition came to an end, Clarence maintained his authority, ruling with an iron fist and a switchblade on him at all times. In the late 1920s, Clarence met his future wife, a spitfire of a woman named Daisy MacCarthy (1906-1980) who came from old money. Initially, Clarence pursued her for her family's money and influence, which she was fully aware of, but over time the two began to form a close bond. Within five years, they were engaged, and only a few months later, they were married. Their marriage was never particularly tumultuous, but they were rarely openly affectionate with each other. When Anna ran away to be with her little boyfriend, Westley, Clarence was disappointed. He and his sister had never been particularly close, but he missed her nonetheless, and he saw her choice a shortsighted cowardice. He had his men keep tabs on her, reporting back to Clarence regularly on Anna's whereabouts. If she ever noticed, she never said anything to him about it. Anna was stubborn, but so was Clarence, and so this continued for nearly 20 years. Then, in late 1959, Anna reached out to Clarence. She sent him a long, tearful letter, several pages long. In it, she lamented her decision to leave the family behind, begging Clarence to come see her. She couldn't take care of four children on her own, and she needed his help. Clarence, of course, accepted, happy his foolish little sister had finally come around. And so, in 1960, he paid Anna a visit for the first time in years.

aaaand another inktober!!! once again combining a couple prompts that work together thematically, as the two characters are directly linked. the original prompts are "lessons in masculinity" and "never fit for motherhood," and i combined them to be "old world legacy." basically referring to salvatore's mom's side of the family's *long* history with organized crime, haha!

i'll explain more about clarence and daisy in day 10's prompt, but for now, this is just some backstory about them. :D surely nothing will go wrong here. (something will go very wrong)

i did this in a pretty messy style just to get it done tbh... who needs neatness right now

art taglist: @skitzo-kero @anexor @chaieyestea @jezifster @transmasc-wizard @lychniscitrus @lower-ones-eyes @astral-runic @midnight-and-his-melodiverse @albatris @rosesandartss @invaderskoodge @lesbian-apple-yogurt @approximately20eggs @kingkendrick7 @presidentquinn

#Multi's Artwork #inktober #inktober 2023 #salvatore inktober #wanted to mention it in the main post but it didn't really work so i'll say it here #but daisy and clarence's marriage did eventually become more a status thing than anything #daisy had many lovers on the side and clarence was aware of it #not happy about it. but aware. he ignored it as long as she wasn't *too* blatant #and now for these tags lmao-#infidelity cw

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m1dn1ght-lag00n · 23 days

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FNF WI: D-Side Oswald

If uncomfortable with any of these topics, please continue scrolling! I will not be hurt by this! Have a good day <3

#fnf d sides #wednesday infidelity #oswald the lucky rabbit #fnf #fnf Oswald #cw suggestive #cw guns #cw gun mention #cw sui mention

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pollyna · 2 years

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Totally on-board with the miscommunication that comes from Bradley seeing Mav with Penny and little Amelia and immediately thinking he went and found a new family for himself and left Ice behind too. And how that means he takes leave immediately and flies out to see his uncle Tom and, when Maverick opens the door Bradley punches him, then proceeds to shout asking how he could ever do something like that to Tom, how could he even think to cheat on him in that way and was he so forgettable he pick up and create another family so easily? In all of this rant Mav is watching as his kid, nose bleeding and aching jaw with exactly zero context on what he's saying and why he's saying it. Half an hour later they are all sitting around the table, a ice pack on Mav's cheek, Bradley furiously hugging in uncle Tom and honestly, of the three of them Bradley doesn't know who's more confused about the situation.

It takes almost a week, slow and painful for thr first part, but at the end when Bradley has to go back to his post Mav is uncle again and he promised them to be around for the next holiday. It still not all simple and all forgiven on both sides but now Bradley picks up the phone everytime he can answer and sends out flowers to Penny to say he's sorry even if the woman doesn't know about what. But it's a beautiful bouquet so she doesn't complain.

#bradley rooster bradshaw #tom iceman kazansky #pete maverick mitchell #it cuts the angst in half #not actual infidelity #baby goose goes saving his uncle even if he connects the wrong dota #*dots #icemav #iceman and maverick are bradley's parents #married icemav #pre movie #top gun: maverick #otp: things get old our love is gold #otp: i heard from the heaven that clouds have been grey #mav & penny friendship #penny benjamin #amelia benjamin (mentioned)

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localplaguenurse · 11 months

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Zhongli gets wifey pregnant for a sixth time, how is the main 5 reaction to their being unable to leave their mother's body alone? (Did I word that weird)

Also can I be Mistress/Lady Anon to make things easier?

100% honesty that was gonna be the original ending of the fic. Instead of them getting married again it was gonna be wifey telling Zhongli they're pregnant.

Depends on the ages I guess. If they were still relatively young (like the twins were still kids/teens) they'd be like "you don't have enough on your plate?" but obvs still very supportive because oh shit new sibling! (And also the oldest three would've been out of the house o y'know that does make things simpler.)

But if it's current genshin timeline oh god they would clown on the two so hard. Not even just that they waited like 1900+ years to pop out another (about 1983 to be hyperspecific, they had Yan two years after the end of the archon war and he was 15 when the twins arrived), but also that their literally newborn great grandchild is older than their sixth kid-

"You lot act like I'm some sort of baby factory. I was only pregnant four times, it's not as if we planned on having twins."

"Lmao are you saying this one's an accident?"

"This one's about to become my favourite child if you don't knock it off."

#ask #as gold as the ginkgo trees #tw pregnancy #pregnancy mention #lady anon #the morax family tree starts looking like the joestar family tree #except with less gay vampire fuckery #and less infidelity

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flowerwrites06 · 2 years

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bow to you (drabble) — jjk

Plot: Celebrate! Celebrate! A new princess is born! Pairing: Original: King!Jungkook x Queen!OC (Name: Belle) | Current: King!Yoongi x Queen!OC (Name: Belle) Type: Drabble Rating: R18+ Word Count: 1k+ Tags & Warnings: childbirth, blood, mentions/flashbacks of a past stillbirth, angst, lil bit of bittersweet wholesomeness idk Author’s Note: i really liked writing this, i hope you enjoy!!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN, SEND YOUR IDEAS!

A balmy morning graces the Garden Kingdom as the news arrives of Queen Belle’s child being born. Mountain guards stood outside, dark and cold figures against the vibrancy of the royal courtyards. As strange as the view was, it was meant to protect the Queen from any danger. Even servants were made to take off their masks when entering.

Jungkook, especially, was kept outside of the bed chambers. He instead had to serve lychee drinks to the guards. His hair drenched from running around all day and his shirt was more crème than white.

“Where’s King Yoongi?” Jungkook asked one of the maids.

“Oh he’s been with the Queen as soon as her water broke,” the maid quickly replied before being called into the bed chambers again.

Belle’s pained screams echoed against the wood and stone, resonating heavily in Jungkook’s chest. He curled his fingers into fists.

Jungkook remembered how her hand gripped onto his own, when she was giving birth to their child. It had been a year since her last miscarriage and all their hopes relied on the successful arrival. Excitement had flurried through him when they both saw the baby. But the baby was quiet. No crying, no movement. He remembered the look on the nurse’s face as she tried to tell them the news they already knew.

He blinked away his coming tears as the nurses handed him the pile of bloody cloth. Jungkook fought so many battles but knowing this was the blood of his ex-wife had him both angry and heartbroken.

“More hot water!”

“Rip more cloth!”

The Queen’s chamber thrummed with the clamoring of a new life. Jungkook rushed and handed the bloody cloth to another maid who was running to wash them.

Then a cry.

A beautiful, healthy cry filling the courtyards and mixing with Belle’s sobbed breathing.

“It’s a girl, your Majesty.” The nurse laughed in delight.

Jungkook knew it was inappropriate but he was never one for rules. Taking advantage of the Mountain guard’s distraction, he took a peek inside the bed chambers. His heart jumped when he saw Belle, in her soft nightgown. Her beautiful brown hair darkened to black and her skin glistening in sweat.

Her chest rose and fell, both sobbing and laughing at the same time. The nurse carefully wiped and wrapped the baby girl, handing it over to her Queen.

Belle excitedly accepted baby and cradle her close. Tears made constellations on her lashes as she tenderly traced the child’s cheek.

“A princess, my king.” The nurse looked over at Yoongi.

Yoongi sat next to her, touching the top of his baby’s head. He let out an amazed laugh as the baby started opening her eyes. “She’s beautiful.” Soft eyes flickered to his wife. His wife.

Jungkook swallowed the lump in his throat as Yoongi kissed Belle’s temple.

“Do we have a name?” The nurse asked.

“Liling,” said Belle. She sniffled, tapping Liling’s nose gently.

Jungkook felt his eyes burn, forcing him to look away. He hoped no one was calling out to him for work since his feet didn’t want to stop. Running and heaving, he rushed down to the servant’s quarters. Backing against the rough stone wall, he dropped onto the floor, letting thick tears drop down his cheeks.

“Your Majesty.” A maid, as old as his mother would’ve been, handed him a wooden cup of makgeolli.

“Don’t call me that,” he whispered.

“Yeah but you can’t order me to do anything either. So I call you whatever I want.” The maid grinned.

Jungkook scoffed and accepted the cup, letting it burn his throat. He didn’t get to drink much anymore but it was a welcomed feeling every now and then.

“If this is hurting you so much, why don’t you just go?” The maid gestured. “Start a farm somewhere and rebuild.”

Jungkook tapped the side of the cup. “I’ve got things I need to repay for.”

“By cleaning the king’s breeches?”

“It’s complicated and I don’t clean his breeches.”

“No, you’d rather sniff the Queen’s dresses like a maniac.” She chortled at Jungkook’s warning look. “You’re in charge of bringing the Queen’s dinner…so drink some more and get to work.”

In the youth of the night, Jungkook dragged the dinner preparations to Belle’s bed chambers. Meat cooked in coconut milk, boiled eggs, peach pie and jasmine tea. He had to take a few deep breaths before knocking on the door. “Dinner.”

“Come in.”

Belle wore a beautiful peach and pale yellow dress with her hair tied in emerald pins. She was glowing like a golden pearl as she lovingly smiled down at her baby.

Liling was awake and curiously watching her, making the slightest of sounds. Her bassinet was a beautiful gold inlaid wood that was noiseless as it swayed.

When Belle looked up at Jungkook, her smile didn’t disappear quite as quickly. “Thank you,” she muttered.

“Just my job.” Jungkook cleared his throat. “Can I?”

Belle nodded.

Jungkook walked forward to see little Liling. She had eyes as brown as Belle’s and her hair was black like Yoongi. Liling was still getting used to opening her eyes, looking at Jungkook for a moment before looking at Belle. “She’s beautiful.”

Belle sweetly placed a hand over her stomach and tapped her soft cheek which pressed in like mush. “She is.”

Jungkook had noticed Belle’s anger soften as the months went by. Perhaps it was just to be safe during her pregnancy but he found comfort in it. Even now, she didn’t glare at him as much. If anything, her expression was even a little sorrowful and fueled with pity. “Enjoy your food, your Majesty.”

He turned on his heel as his eyes began to burn again.

“Jungkook.”

It took all the energy in his body for him to stop and look over his shoulder. “Yes?”

Belle took a breath to say something but smiled.

Despite the small action, the small gesture brought such a warmth in Jungkook’s heart that he could’ve broken down in tears right in front of her. But he didn’t want her to see that. It wasn’t her responsibility to tend to his problems anymore.

“Take care of yourself…okay?” Belle finally said.

Jungkook let out a shaky sigh and bowed. Fully in all the respect he had for her. Walking out of the bed chambers, he ran back into the servant’s quarters and into the old maid’s public room.

The maid was mid-drink in her makgeolli. “What happened?”

“Do you think I should plant lychees or peaches?”

#jungkook #thebtswritersclub #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #jungkook fanfiction #royal bts au #bts royal au #royal au #bts au #king jungkook #king au #king bts #king bts au #tw: infidelity mentions #tw: childbirth

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helldustedstories · 5 days

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As mentioned earlier, the anon I got, while offering "critique" of the way I write Stolas, also veered into victim-blaming territory, saying that he's 'abusive and a cheater and he ruined his family.' Most of it will be under the cut, as this got very long.

So first of all, if you don't like Stolas as a character, that's fine; that's your prerogative, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but what are you doing on my page? As I'm sure you've noticed if you've been around my blog any time at all, Stolas is my main muse here. He's very important to me as a character, and as part of my fave ship, so YEAH, there's gonna be a lot of Stolas on my blog. And if that's something that bothers you...., the unfollow / block button is right there. I very much encourage you to use it to curate your own experience.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's take this "critique" apart piece-by-piece, shall we? The thesis statement with which I was presented was, to paraphrase, that Stolas is abusive, a cheater, and that he ruined his family. Since the anon seemed focused on the fact that Stolas “is a cheater who ruined his family,” that is also the lens through which I will be basing my analysis.

Starting off with my favourite: Stolas is abusive. I'm honestly not sure we've been watching the same show, if you think that. I cannot think of a single instance in the course of the fifteen episodes we currently have where he raised a hand to someone else. Yes, he raised his voice a couple of times, in response to an argument, where both parties were heated. Is that abuse? No, because it was an argument, with emotions running high on either side. People in all kinds of relationships have arguments, which are not inherently abusive. However, we cannot ignore the history that has been presented to us in the show itself, as the text we’re examining. While victims of abuse are not exempt from becoming abusers themselves, in the case of Stolas, this is not what happened.

Let's look at the definition of verbal abuse, pulled from the wiki: "Verbal abuse can include the act of harassing, labeling, insulting, scolding, rebuking, or excessive yelling towards an individual. It can also include the use of derogatory terms, the delivery of statements intended to frighten, humiliate, denigrate, or belittle a person” (“Verbal Abuse.” Wikipedia, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Verbal_abuse. Accessed 12 May 2024).

While Stolas makes a snide remark to Stella, "How was I supposed to know you could spell? I've never seen you read!" that is not abuse. That is a one-off statement meant to get a rise out of her. However, something that does qualify as verbal abuse? The way that Stella talks to and about Stolas. "It's no picnic being married to a boring stiff like Stolas," "Stolas is terrible in bed! I swear to fuck, he just lays there staring at the wall, and I have to do everything! It's embarrassing! I'm glad one egg fell out of me so I could stop pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass," "what a pathetic fucking man" are all examples of Stella harassing, labeling, insulting, scolding, rebuking, using excessive yelling, and derogatory terms intended to humiliate or belittle Stolas in the span of a single episode. Not only in the span of a single episode, but within the span of a single day within that episode (“Helluva Boss/The Circus.” Season 2, episode 1).

We can infer from this, and from the other times we have seen similar situations (which also included threats of physical violence, with Stella throwing Stolas' plants, items she knows he cares about and treats well, specifically to terrorize him), that this is a regular occurrence between them. Stolas doesn't usually speak up or say anything, let alone yell back. One of the few times he says anything in response to her shouting is in the second episode of the first season: Loo Loo Land. But even then, Stella is shouting, and Stolas is replying to her as calmly as he can, his voice much quieter than hers, even in the context of what can be heard as a character in the show, not only for the audience’s perspective.

An important thing to note, as well: while the instance with Stolas responding to Stella’s verbal abuse in Loo Loo Land takes place in an earlier episode, it takes place later within the chronology of the show, as almost all of the scenes in The Circus appear as a flashback. This is an important distinction because The Circus establishes a pattern of behaviour that is continued and escalated in Loo Loo Land. It is understandable for a spouse to be upset that they’d been cheated on, but the level of the reaction, the fact that it is ongoing mistreatment, makes it unacceptable.

There are many different types of abuse, and Stolas does not display any of them. He actively works to dismantle the cycle of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse he has gone through. While he does make mistakes, he tries to be as supportive of his daughter as possible, showing interest in the things she likes even if he doesn’t always understand. He shows physical affection, makes sure she knows that he loves her, that he’s going to be there for her, both when she’s a child, and later when they go to Loo Loo Land. It had been his insistence that they go to the park, but the moment he realized that Octavia wasn’t having fun, they had a heartfelt talk that was emotional, but also an actual conversation as opposed to one party hurling insults at the other.

I would go so far as to say that Stolas displays both freeze and fawn responses to these situations with Stella. We hear her say that “Stolas is terrible in bed! I swear to fuck, he just lays there staring at the wall, and I have to do everything!” which is a classic sign of dissociation, and can also be attributed to the freeze response to trauma. While both Stolas and Stella were put in a situation that they did not want to be in, the fact that Stella went through with sex while Stolas was actively dissociating makes that assault. Not only that, but she continues to laugh and joke about what happened with her friends, knowing that Stolas is within earshot of her; she deliberately uses her words to hurt him, to bring up his trauma, to belittle him. Stella is very good at choosing some of the most hurtful words she could because it’s meant to show that Stolas is unsatisfactory as a man because he cannot please her in bed, and she ‘had to do all the work.’

Let’s reverse the roles for a moment, shall we? A man says that his wife just lies there while he has to do all the work during sex, he ignores that she’s dissociating and continues regardless of her feelings. Cut and dry assault, right? But because the victim in this case is a man, it’s not seen as abuse, which is hypocritical and dangerous.

While I could continue at length about this single point, let’s move on. We’re going to be tackling both “Stolas is a cheater” and “he ruined his family” at the same time, because I think they’re very much tied to one another. Yes, he had an affair while he was married. On the surface, he is absolutely a cheater, an adulterer, whatever you want to call him. Not even he would deny that. However, this is something that also has a lot more nuance than just the surface level viewing.

Stolas is a gay man who has been trapped in a heterosexual marriage for almost twenty years. He himself states that he “tried so many years to make it comfortable for us; to have this family, but it was never enough” (HB, S2E01). And while we don’t fully know what that entailed, considering the way that Stella reacted to his infidelity with Blitz, it can be inferred that that was the first time he’d strayed. He chose to stay in a loveless marriage, with a spouse who continually insulted and belittled him, destroyed his property, and was physically abusive, all to attempt to give their daughter some semblance of a normal childhood. Stolas insulated Octavia from much of her mother’s cruelty, but it escalated to the point that he could not keep all of it from her any longer.

It’s also clear through Stella’s dialogue that it’s not necessarily the infidelity that bothers her; it’s the fact that Stolas chose to sleep with an imp, someone who is seen as lesser in Hell’s hierarchy. Every time she brings up his affair, it’s in conjunction with the fact that his affair partner is an imp, not that he betrayed her, or that she’s hurt by his actions. Stella says that she likes tormenting Stolas, that the reason she stays around the house even though she takes Via away on weekends is to remind him of what he did, specifically to try to make him feel guilty for his actions. She cares about how everything reflects on her, not how it might affect their daughter.

And Stolas is the first person to acknowledge that if he had genuinely hurt Stella, he would feel bad about that. But there was never anything between them; their marriage was arranged in order to add a ‘precautionary heir’ to the family, a duty that they fulfilled. From their conversation before the Not Divorced party, it’s clear that they had at the very least discussed divorce previously, but it came down to how it would look yet again, rather than what would be best for either of them or Octavia. Which is made clear when Stella’s first response to Stolas’ insistence that they are getting The Divorce is “what would the rest of the Goetia family think?”

Her next response is even more telling: she tries to hit Stolas, to backhand him across the face. The only reason she doesn’t make contact is that Stolas stopped her, catching her hand before she could hit him. He was ready for that blow, knew that it was coming, which means that it was not the first time she had hit him. It had happened before, and he knew there was the possibility of it happening again, especially when he finally stood up for himself instead of freezing or fawning to try to keep the peace.

The affair changed the status quo in the family; Stolas made a choice for himself instead of trying to placate Stella and do what would cause the least amount of ripples. That choice exposed what was already broken and festering; it didn’t cause the broken marriage or family. The perfect image that they presented to the outside world never really existed, and it finally became impossible to hide when Stolas actually made a decision for his own wellbeing instead of basing all of his decisions on what would be best for Octavia.

It also cannot be understated that Stella hired an assassin to torture and kill Stolas, who is still the father of her child, because he embarrassed her. There were so many other options available to her, ways she could have gotten revenge on Stolas without killing him, but she went right to assassination and torture. Which would also negatively affect her daughter, especially if she ever found that her father had been killed on her mother’s orders.

The fact that all of this is ascribed to Stolas is nothing short of victim-blaming. When someone is blamed for their own abuse, it blurs the lines between fiction and reality because that is something that happens to real people all the time, myself included. It’s especially important in this case because Stolas is a male victim of domestic violence, who are already far less likely to come forward or to be believed even if they do. Especially if they are also queer.

In conclusion, I am going to continue to sympathize with Stolas. I am going to continue to analyze him through the lens of the trauma he’s been through, and I am going to keep examining and thoughtfully, respectfully exploring his thought process as he deals with the fact that he was a victim of abuse, as he gets away from that and begins to heal.

#✎ helldustedstories : meta; aka mal thinks too much about things #ᯓ★ stolas : about #domestic violence mention tw #marital assault tw #infidelity tw #comphet tw #[ask to tag]#[i got the big ones i think]

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spoopy-sloth · 10 days

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Wow. I'm researching for my comic, and I have been coming across very racist posts about Mexican men :(

#specifically that they all cheat and are infidel and it's upsetting how thats the accepted stereotype :(#my text #racism mentioned

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tennessoui · 2 years

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Miss Kit updates from you never fail to cheer me up, and that was a tall order this week when I spent my birthday alone because of covid and had to cancel my party because I'm still testing positive, so thank you! If you're taking Prompts I'd love to see something where Anakin is ill or injured as misery loves company, maybe the bit in cheating au where he's hospitalised and Obi-Wan finds out/is in waiting room? No pressure though, just wanted to drop in and say your updates always make me happy

hey!!!! it's been uh. a month. maybe two months. so like. i hope you're no longer testing positive :D here is a 2k snippet set in the cheating au when obi-wan rushes to anakin's side after he loses an arm fighting. also when padmé may start thinking that there's something rotten in the state of stewjon.......

(2k) (cw: i wrote this on my laptop when the i key was sticking so who knows how many i's i've missed)

(also cw: cheating)

(this snippet is sorta mentioned, might be important to read for understanding of the verse)

Obi-Wan’s hands are shaking. They have been since the missive came in for Padmé and Obi-Wan had leaned over to read it when she’d gasped in horror.

Her husband had been wounded. There’d been an attack of some sorts, a robbery or a premeditated attack or something else all together, and Padmé’s husband had heard the noise from his gallery and gone to investigate. He’d decided to break up the fight with nothing more than his voice and his own hands, and he’d lost one in the process.

He’d lost a lot of blood as well, Padmé’s husband had. A lot of blood and an arm. Padmé had been right to be so horrified, so frantic in calling for a recess in the conference, just one long enough to gather her things from her Republic-funded room, brief the secondary senator from Naboo on the state of negotiations, and then hail a shuttle to the nearest space port. She was allowed to go with little fuss.

After all, it was her husband who had been hurt so drastically he had been airlifted to the best trauma center in Coruscant. She had children to comfort and hold and feed sweet words of reassurance to.

Obi-Wan logically knows that he must stay. He’d been told as much by Padmé herself—not outright, of course, she probably wouldn’t have thought to do so, but she’d squeezed his shoulder as she left the Hall and promised to comm him as soon as she could with updates on Anakin’s condition.

It was, after all, the duties of a wife.

But what of the duties of the lover? The affair? The man who knows for certain he has managed to slip his way into Anakin’s heart, wrap himself around it until its every piece belongs to him alone, nothing left over for the wife who has rushed to his side?

His hands ache with the need to hold, to feel at Anakin’s skin, his pulse.

He makes it ten more hours into the conference before he follows Padmé’s example. He does not stop to collect his things, nor does he brief the secondary senator of Naboo, parting with a “you best have been listening, mate, or our failure’s on your head”; he flew to this planet in his own ship, and he flies it now.

He utilizes every trick that Anakin has ever shown him about how to fly fast and how to fly well. Under the guise of Obi-Wan being the worst pilot in the history of Stewjon and Anakin being unable to be cordial with someone who signaled before they changed vertical lanes, they’d spent years sneaking out to the stars for activities that had nothing to do with flying.

But perhaps against his will or perhaps because his love for Anakin had to better him in some way in order to be endured, he had also learned how to pilot the way Anakin piloted.

His hands shake the entire time. It’s the one concession he will give himself to the roar of emotions that feel like they’re tearing his insides to shreds.

His comm buzzes and when he checks it, an hour out from Coruscant, it’s a message from Satine. He doesn’t read it. He has long since stopped caring what his wife has to say about any matter, and the matter of this affair in particular.

They had never particularly loved each other, though he thinks they both were convinced they did upon their marriage. But what he feels when he thinks of Anakin Skywalker dooms every other love he’s ever felt in his life to pale imitations.

They had never particularly loved each other, but it’s only been in the last year that Obi-Wan has felt resentment bubble up in his soul. His wife is one more thing that makes Anakin leave his bed early in the morning. Obi-Wan’s wife and, well.

Obi-Wan has been arguing with the health droids for ten minutes before Padmé appears from around the corner. She’s still wearing her Naboo regalia, though it looks much more worn. She must have arrived hours ago, yet she’s not left at all yet. This observation makes Obi-Wan’s heart seize up in fear. Has Anakin taken a turn so nonsensically towards the worst?

Padmé looks startled to see him. She looks relieved though, too.

If Obi-Wan were a better person, he’d let the guilt of it all eat him alive. As it is, he’s not a better person. He’s a politician, and he wants something.

“Padmé!” He says upon seeing her. “How is he? Please, tell DR-023 that I should be allowed to see him.”

Padmé blinks, as if she can’t understand the stimuli her brain is showing her. “Obi-Wan, you came.”

“Of course I came, Padmé,” Obi-Wan replies and knows he should say something else, but the words are tricky. He wants to say, because I love him. Because it’s Anakin. Because I know he would want me there. Because if it were me in that medical bed, I would want him beside me.

All of this is too incriminating. Padmé, though she still does not know about her husband’s infidelity, is not an unintelligent woman.

So he says, “I view you all as my family.”

This is uttered with a pointed look at the medical droid, barring Obi-Wan’s passage to the rooms of the hospital. Though heavy-handed, it seems to shake Padmé into action, and she swoops forward to key in the Skywalker room code into the droid’s bank, allowing Obi-Wan passage.

“Thank you,” he tells Anakin’s wife, and then when he cannot wait a second longer, “how is he doing?”

Padmé guides him back to Anakin’s room, and Obi-Wan lets himself be guided. “He’s—he’s going to be alright,” she says. “They—they won’t fit him with a prosthetic, not while he is unconscious and cannot consent, but they’ve taken him out of bacta and done several blood transfusions. Mine took, thank the stars.”

Obi-Wan swallows and stares forward so as not to give into the monster inside of him that roars in jealousy at the idea that Anakin and Padmé’s bloodtype match. That once more, Obi-Wan is made an interloper.

“Quite,” he replies faintly, for they’ve entered the room. There on the bed, looking much too still and ashen, is the love of his life. It takes all of his training in politics and appearance to stop himself from running to his side, grasping at his one hand, and raising it to his lips. The japor snippet around his neck burns with his need to touch and feel and heal.

Padmé, unaware of his agony, walks to the other side of Anakin’s bed, ghosting her fingers over his missing forearm with a haunted sort of expression.

“I was just going to leave to relieve the nanny,” she confesses, brushing a piece of hair away from Anakin’s face. Obi-Wan stiffens and forces himself to relax. “The twins haven’t seen him yet. I thought about getting them when I arrived, but….”

The twins live a charmed life, five years old and untouched by every great unfairness in the galaxy. Obi-Wan would hesitate to retrieve them as well, not when it would mean they would have to—at least for a moment—confront the senseless violence of their world.

“They should see him,” he tells her gently. Anakin would want that. “Please, I—I can get them if you do not wish to leave him.”

“I’m perfectly capable of parenting my own children,” she snaps. When she looks up, her gaze is hard.

Interloper.

“Of course,” Obi-Wan gentles his tone, his mannerisms, and steps back from the bed though that distance kills him. “Whatever you want, Padmé, I am only trying to support you.”

Anakin’s wife stares at him for several seconds, before glancing down at her husband. “You’ll call me if he awakens?”

“In an instant,” Obi-Wan promises, and she nods once, slowly and then with a fast upward tilt of her head. She navigates around the bed, and Obi-Wan moves closer to the very bounds of what is allowed.

He doesn’t watch her leave. He cannot tear his gaze away from Anakin’s slack face. There will be scars on it, wounds so deep that the bacta could not heal them perfectly in time to save him from the blemish.

Obi-Wan already finds them beautiful, because it is Anakin and he finds Anakin beautiful always.

He doesn’t watch Anakin’s wife leave, so he is startled to hear her speak. Startled and deeply grateful he hadn’t given into the impulse to touch her husband’s cheekbone. Stewjoni are affectionate, but not that affectionate.

“I am glad you’re here, Obi-Wan,” she tells him. Her tone is unreadable and when he turns around, her face is the same.

“Oh?” Obi-Wan asks when she does not immediately continue.

And then for a moment his heart freezes in his chest as he follows the descent of her eyes. Sometime between leaving the conference and arriving at the hospital, he’d taken his heavy, ceremonial Stewjoni cloaks off. His shirt is unlaced most of the way, his chest almost on display.

But she’s not looking at his skin.

The japor snippet lays lower than the shirt cuts, thank the gods, but there’s something in her eyes that looks like a denial. A rationalization. She’d seen the same leather cord around her husband’s neck for two years before he’d lost that pendant.

Before he’d given it in secret to its intended recipient and told his wife it must have fallen off in some restaurant on some planet.

He tries not to move, to hold his posture exactly as it is. Any sudden movements would read as guilt.

He has nothing to feel guilty about.

He has a whole galaxy’s worth of wrongdoings to feel guilty about.

“Why’s that?” he asks, prompts her towards speech in a voice that he prays is not shaking.

Her eyes snap up to his face. They’re unreadable. She is unreadable. She is the last thing that stands in the way of Obi-Wan being able to cradle Anakin’s head in public, kiss him in broad daylight, and if he loved Anakin less, he would tear off the necklace and throw it to the ground in front of her feet, dare her to rationalize that coincidence away, the same way she’s rationalized all the touches she’s seen, all the heavy looks, lovers’ feuds, piloting lessons.

But he loves Anakin.

And if a team of droids refuse to operate on him without his consent, he can’t just go and reveal their affair to his wife without the same.

“Why’s that?” he asks again, when she doesn’t say anything. He crosses his arms, higher than he usually would, in case the japor snippet is peaking out from the edge of his shirt collar.

“They said he was calling for someone,” Padmé Amidala-Skywalker says, soft as rain and bells and lace. “They thought it must have been his wife. When I told them I was his wife, they called me Mrs. Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan’s shoulders tense with the effort not to look at Anakin. He wants to see him suddenly so bad that it hurts, but he forces himself to hold eye contact. “How strange,” he murmurs instead of the myriad of things he wishes to say. “I’ve always thought the name Obi-Wan to be quite masculine.”

Padmé says nothing, but she does leave.

It feels less like a surrender, more like a retreat.

#asks #prompt fill #cheating au #when anakin wakes up obi-wan tells him he needs to choose #both because he cant stand not being the one informed of anakin's medical condition #and also because he thnks maybe padmé knows #and he needs anakin to choose before padmé confronts him or else he'll never be able to trust that anakin #honestly chose him #which he hopes he will but doesnt know for sure because this obi-wan is willing to have an affair and pulls one off for like 6yrs #but he's also an idiot #cw: infidelity #outtakes include obi-wan mentioning something offhanded about the conference #and padmé going omg!! you left the conference!!! what about the stewjoni agenda??#and obi-wan (flushed) is like 'i wasnt thinking about the stewjoni agenda'#and padmé is like '......yes #i wasn't thinking about the naboo agenda as well......'#heavily implying 'but im his wife'#to which obi-wan would reply honestly much the same lol #obikin #tbh only obikin i know padme is mentioned a lot as his wife but nah #thats a plot point love #this is like my guilty pleasure au #i lose followers literally every time i post a snippet from this au but like it's gross and codependent and destructive #and ADDICTIVE

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