my hands are so fucked up i cant type correctly for my tech class and i think thats kinda mean :(

for a few years now (like since at least 2021) i’ve been occasionally seeing isolated individuals try on “AFAB trans woman”, “AFAB transfem”, “AMAB trans man”, “AMAB transmasc” and dreading the possibility of this becoming an inclus/exclus thing where there’s a huge vicious debate and a ton of people develop calcified stances that it’s “valid” because they are straight ticket voters on uses of language being “valid”. i’ve recently come across multiple fairly high-note promotions of each of 1) yeah, sure, anyone can be a trans woman (normal understanding of the language of AGAB, replaces meaning of “trans woman” with “someone who is a woman and also trans” or, worse “someone who identifies with the vibe of trans womanhood”) and 2) your AGAB is whatever you decide it is, maybe even a neolabel (completely opposite the concept of gender assignment at birth). i’m crossing my fingers that these uses somehow go no further, or that if they do the ensuing fight blows over quickly.

as an individual topic, it’s frustrating because it points to the complete failure on a lot of people’s parts to absorb or understand the basic premises of this idea of transgender.

we live in a world where, when humans are born, the adults around them decide what role they are going to have in a system of male/female boy/girl man/woman. usually they pick based on a quick look at the child’s external genitalia. if the quick look doesn’t match their idea of what a baby boy or baby girl is supposed to look like, they might or might not do further physical investigation, and either way they will pick a role for the child. if the child doesn’t look one of the ways expected, they might enforce this decision through surgery to conform the child’s body to their ideal for the role they chose. whether the decision was immediate or after deliberation, whether surgery was performed or not performed, this process of role picking is coercive. a first act of coercion in a childhood of coercion in a lifetime of coercion.

children are raised to the roles they were assigned. sometimes this involves the deliberate imposition of a lot of restrictions and expectations about how the child will look and behave, sometimes fewer, sometimes almost none but that they will agree that they are what the adults said they were. even if it is only the last, the child will sooner or later feel the weight of much greater expectations, because they will become aware that wider society says girls should look girly and do girl things and boys should look boyish and do boy things. sometimes it becomes apparent that a child’s body is growing to not match the adults’ idea of what a male body or a female body is supposed to look like or do. if this happens, the adults might allow or force the child to switch roles, might ease or double down on their expectations, and might or might not give the child a choice in whether they biomedically intervene in the child’s physical development.

sometimes, a person grows to refuse the role they were assigned and adopt a new one. sometimes they only refuse the role they were assigned. sometimes they only adopt a new one. sometimes they only refuse the expectations and restrictions. sometimes they refuse being a boy-male-man or girl-female-woman. sometimes they first do this as a child, sometimes as an adolescent, sometimes as an adult. sometimes they conform to the expectations and restrictions for the role they adopt on purpose, other times less so, other times not at all. sometimes they seek to change their body. rejecting one’s assigned role is an opportunity to escape the pain of the old coercion and find new joys in new, chosen ways of being.

to adopt a new role is simultaneously to adopt that role and to adopt the social position of a role-adopter and the social position of one-who-has-moved-from-that-role-to-this-role. these social positions come with expectations and restrictions in addition to the ones associated with the role adopted. having rejected the assigned role, more possibilities are available to a person. there is a great deal of free choice available for those who are willing to make it. sometimes there are special roles that are never assigned at birth and can only be taken on by someone conscious enough to choose.

gender assignment at birth isn’t an identity, it’s an act of coercion. trans womanhood isn’t a feeling, it’s a particular confluence of adoption and abandonment in a social system premised on gender assignment.

the prospect of discourse fights over “AFAB trans girls” and etc. is unpleasant because they’ll suck super bad and exhaust tons of people for nothing, but more present and disturbing is this even being an issue. understanding the nature of gender assignment is such a keystone in trans theory that i genuinely do not know what models of transness people are functioning on without it.

Eloise v Penelope

I think a lot of Eloise's anger about Penelope being Lady Whistledown comes down to it being the very last person she expected. Eloise imagined Lady W being this emancipated woman, living off her own riches, poking fun at society from outside of it. That Lady W didn't have to conform to the normal expectations of women, to marry and have babies and obey their husbands. She says it herself in S1, I think it was episode 2 or 3. But for that reality to not be the case, that Lady W was in fact a member of the ton, and someone who did have to conform, and did have to marry was a real blow to this fantasy.

That, of course and the fact that it was Penelope. Of course, she has resentment that Penelope was her best friend and lied to her, and exposed her secrets, especially after Eloise was honest and truthful in their friendship. However, I think it's a bit deeper than that. The awful truth is, I don't believe Eloise thought Penelope was cleverer than her. That's not to say that Eloise believed Penelope to be dumb, but she thought they were the same. That they both held the same beliefs but that Eloise was better and a bigger advocate for those beliefs. And Eloise doesn't like having to confront the fact that Penelope actually does want what many other women are supposed to want, and that Eloise is somewhat unconventional and alone in her outspoken beliefs. And Penelope doesn't want to disappoint Eloise so she does, in many ways, hide her desires, and tries to agree with Eloise's beliefs about womanhood and feminism.

That Penelope was smart, clever, and even manipulative and jaded is not a welcome surprise for Eloise. That she didn't know her friend -- even though we know that Penelope did not hide so much as she was overlooked -- is a betrayal. Penelope has always been kind, sweet and very much a sidekick to Eloise. To learn that Penelope was her own leading lady is not welcome, especially when she was leading Eloise on a goose chase.

Something in the books really resonates here too. Colin's worry that if Penelope is discovered as Lady W, it would have her cast out of society, while if someone like Cressida were to be recognized as Lady W would have them be applauded. Because Penelope is not popular, so she cannot be clever and gain notoriety through a pen name. Cressida would be able to remain in society even if she were unmasked as Lady W because she is popular, and even though she's probably recognized as a b*tch, she's a b*tch the ton are comfortable with and the one they would applaud as being so clever to get away with it.

I think Eloise believes the same. She would rather it be Cressida, or probably more like Lady Danbury, because she expects it and because it goes with what she believed. But it cannot be the 'frumpy, unpopular, unattractive' girl like Penelope. Because that's a blow to their ego, that they were misled by someone so... unpopular, a 'loser'. That's not to say that Eloise is so unkind she's always thinking her friend is a loser. But she knows, at least subconsciously, that she is more popular (at the very least because of her station and her family, even if she doesn't recognize that her beauty is a factor as well). And while Eloise has different views on marriage and feminism that may be considered radical, she is still in many ways a product of her environment, and does not take kindly to someone she thinks as 'less' socially to hold one over on her. And I don't mean class. Eloise likely would have been pleased too if it was a maid or something because that would be so clever. But Penelope, a member of the ton, who's not even as cool or outspoken as her? Not likely.

I'm not dismissing Eloise's rightful anger at having her secrets aired out (although I do understand Penelope's dilemma and decision - better for the Bridgerton's to suffer a small scandal than to be involved in a fight with the Queen and dragged down completely). But pay attention to what Eloise says. "I do not even know you. I look at you and all I feel is pity for you. Sequestered here in this very room writing your secret little scandal sheet, tarnishing everyone in town all because you are too scared to stand up for yourself in reality. You are something Penelope, an insipid wallflower indeed."

These words are cutting to the heart of the matter. Penelope is a wallflower, Penelope is unpopular. Penelope could never have accomplished something so clever. All she did was write a little scandal sheet... although it's not little at all, is it?

Let's not forget that before Eloise got in over her head with the Queen, she was obsessed with Lady W because she admired her. Penelope changed Lady W to Eloise's preferences, because she wanted, in some way, to be clever the way Eloise likes people to be clever. Even though it is nothing to scoff at for a woman to be a popular column writer, especially in those days, even if it is for a 'scandal sheet'. But that was one way women had power back in those days, was through what they said, and the rumors that swirled. Penelope has a lot of power through her pen, because she can make and unmake a family. She got rid of Daphne's odious suitor. The women started a rumor, and Penelope wrote about it, and the next day the man had to leave town. Not because of a mere rumor -- because of a PUBLISHED rumor. And while those rumors can fade, as they do, it let Daphne be free to get courted by Simon.

Eloise still hasn't actually confronted her privilege. Theo did tell her, "hey, guess what, you're super privileged and you're putting me in a bad spot." And while she does end up understanding that in the end, breaking things off with Theo, she's still not actually understanding her privilege amongst the ton. Eloise's sister is a duchess, her brother is a viscount. A little rebellion by running around with political radicals will not destroy her. She is still very much a desired connection people would want. Something Penelope knows.

But Penelope herself, as herself, has no power. "too scared to stand up for yourself in reality." And what exactly is Penelope supposed to do? She is not the popular girl with suitors lining up for her. She's not the rich girl who's money can protect her or who's father can protect her. She's a girl with no influence herself. Every time she's tried to help someone as herself, she's been dismissed. When she warned Colin, he dismissed her. When she begged Marina, she dismissed her. When she spoke to her mother, she dismissed her. When she warned Eloise, she dismissed her. So she made herself influential through a pen name.

How can Penelope stand up for herself? She can't without someone like a Bridgerton in her corner. Eloise can insult Cressida in defense of Penelope, but Penelope can't do it herself without feeling actual consequences. But Eloise will never feel any consequence for dismissing Cressida or anyone else, barring someone above her station.

Only a great scandal can destroy Eloise... such as cavorting with a man unchaperoned... and something, again, Penelope warns her about. Of course, Penelope has ulterior motives as well. She doesn't want Eloise to discover her secret. But this is still a big risk that Eloise is taking, which is what Penelope warns her of and is dismissed. Eloise not only risks herself but her family's reputation there too. And while, again, the scandal may not last long, especially not for her brothers, it will affect Eloise as being, the dreaded term... 'spoiled goods'.

And that can feel like a double standard. I mean, Penelope is alone with Colin... then again, Penelope doesn't exactly have a reputation to protect. No one would believe her to be a seductress when they spend so much time dismissing her. And no one would consider Colin to be interested in her since, once again, she's not on their radar. Eloise's privilege is a double edged sword, though she benefits from it more than she doesn't.

It's not fair. But it is a reality. And I think it's a disservice to women of the time not to show how they are punished for standing out. Eloise is loud and brash and suffers little to no consequences for it. If that were actually the case, a girl is often sent to a mad house or married off quickly or some other way to silence her and stifle her. But Eloise has brothers who love her and will protect her. This is a privilege. The first time she feels any censure is through Lady W's pamphlet, but again, it is something that can be brushed aside with her family's protection, though it had the unfortunate timing of coinciding with a broken engagement.

I don't really think the blame is only on one party. Penelope also made a lot of mistakes. That's not to say I think that Penelope owed it to Eloise to reveal that she's Lady W, or reveal her secret to the queen to spare Eloise. Eloise started that battle despite Penelope's warnings and got in the cross hairs of the queen for it. Penelope shouldn't have to sacrifice herself. Also Penelope sharing Lady W with Eloise is taking away something that belongs to her. Eloise would, I think, seriously try to take over the narrative of Lady W if she knew. Already Penelope feels pressured to change Lady W for Eloise's admiration, so I do think that if Eloise knew who Penelope was before hand, Penelope would lose it to her completely, and it would have turned completely into Eloise's pamphlet (which honestly would have led to more problems because Eloise would forgo subtle criticism and instead loudly criticize societal norms). Eloise is overwhelming, and Penelope is a pushover, especially when it comes to her friend who she doesn't want to lose.

But there were better ways she could have gone about it. She could have warned Violet that Colin and Marina were planning on eloping and told her to push for a long engagement instead. She could have told Violet that Eloise had gotten into trouble with the Queen. I mean, I think those are her only options really. Neither would have spared her mother from being furious with her or Eloise thinking she betrayed her by telling Violet... but it would have been minimal damage in comparison. Then again, there is the big risk that it wouldn't work because, as I said, Penelope is regularly dismissed.

In the end, yes, Penelope was a bad friend. And she's not a particularly helpful or good daughter/ sister / cousin. Then again, her family hasn't been very kind to her either and Eloise has overlooked her as well. Is Eloise the biggest victim? No. That would be Marina, who, I would argue, ended in a better situation than if she had married Colin. Did Penelope have a duty to fix her mistakes and repair the reputations of people she ruined? I don't think so. It would have been nice but... people have to be able to recover on their own, and a lot of things can only really be fixed with time or a new scandal. The worst harm she did was to herself and her family. She feels the consequences of her actions too. Is Eloise a victim? Yes, but better the victim of a scandal sheet than the victim of the Queen. Does Penelope need redemption? No. I don't think so. Penelope is complex and already experiences the pain of what she does and the consequences of all her actions. She knows what she puts other people through as well.

Anyway, thank you for reading to the end of my rant. I probably contradicted myself somewhere in there but... oh well. Just my thoughts.

Totally not Jealous

So, I haven't fully thought out the idea I had but I just got this image in my head where Eddie and bestfriend Reader are kind of yelling at each other where she's like "you're always talking shit about conforming and society but you always drool over the cheerleaders, you never even glance at someone else, you are just as bad!"

And Eddie being like "What am I supposed to do then? Stare at you the whole time, like I want and pretend I'm not dying inside because you're not my girl, you just want to be friends?"

"I never said I just wanted to be friends"

"Oh yeah? And I've never said I wanted a cheerleader!"

"Well, good!"

"Good! Why are we still yelling?"

Story inspo by @somethingvicked

Warnings: Angst to fluff. Mutual pining, idiots in love, jealous Eddie.

Don't copy, reuse or repost my work.

❤️

Eddie wasn't happy. He sits at the head of the Hellfire table watching Dean Jackson flirting with you.

The rest of Hellfire exchange worried looks as Eddie continues to grow more irate by the second.

He can't stop fidgeting, he's restless and wants nothing more to barge over to you and Dean and see what the fuck this asshole was playing at.

And how could you flirt with Dean when he was from the dark side? One of Carver's friends. Where was your loyalty?

No way in hell was he going to admit that he was jealous

He wasn't jealous... It wasn't like he's been in love with you for a very long time or anything... Fuck.

Mike moves forward, maybe to ask a question or some shit, Eddie doesn't know. Doesn't get a chance to find out as he sends a death glare to Mike that has him rushing back to his seat.

Not the time Wheeler.

"Why don't you just go over if you're so bothered?" Mike whines and Eddie grins in an almost maniacal way that sends worry into the hearts of the Hellfire members.

"You know you're absolutely right Wheeler" and with that he walks over to you and Dean intent on chaos and showing you the truth about this douchebag.

♥️

Dean is cute, a little boring but he's absolutely crucial to your current mission of getting over your major crush on Eddie.

Things were a no go where Eddie was concerned considering he spent most of his time mooning over cheerleaders.

The possibility of him ever noticing you was zero.

So it comes to your suprise when Eddie is suddenly at your side with a wide cheesy smile on his face.

Oh god he was going to go into one of his tangents wasn't he? Normally you adored them but you had a funny feeling Dean himself would be part of his ranting.

"What are you doing Eddie?" you whisper and Eddie turns to Dean, his big brown eyes flash with fury and a little bit of excitement. Shit... This wasn't going to end well was it?

"Dean, what a suprise. You know you were just the subject of a rather interesting conversation between Sally Ann and Violet. They came to me for some weed and were positively furious with you"

Confused you look to Eddie then to Dean who's going redder by the minute.

"That was nothing. Just a mix up you know" he shrugs of Eddie who raises his eyebrow in disbelief.

"You slept with the two of them in the same week and that was a mix up? After you began dating Sally Ann, sure dude. Whatever you say"

You gape as you turn around to Dean who is looking anywhere but you and pretty much hightails it out of the cafeteria.

"Dickhead" Eddie mutters and then his gaze turns to you and he looks betrayed and extremely pissed off. "Flirting with Dean really? He's a member of the dark side sweetheart. Jason's right hand man"

Eddie's words sink in and it lights a fury inside of you. He was one to talk when he spent half his time drooling over cheerleaders! They were popular, part of Jason's clique and he didn't mind looking at them or his attempts at flirting.

"You're such a hypocrite" you hiss at him and he has the gall to look offended, jaw tensing up and his body stiffens.

"How the fuck did you figure that one out huh? I guess it doesn't matter if Dean is a dickhead to you as long as he's hot right. We all remember your crush on Harrington"

Granted Steve was a cool dude now but back in his King Steve days? Running around wit Carol and Tommy, the dude was a prick.

You're crush on Steve back then pissed off Eddie and he wasn't even in love with you at that point, he just got grumpy Steve had your attention and not him.

Wow. You're shocked at how much of an asshole Eddie is being.

"You're always talking shit about conforming and society but you always drool over the cheerleaders, you never even glance at someone else, you are just as bad!" you exclaim heart hurting as the two of you fight.

Fuck, didn't he get it? You wanted Eddie but he was always so busy looking at cheerleaders that you felt hopeless, knew he could never look at you like that.

So yeah you flirted with Dean a little. Why would you waste your life pining over someone who obviously doesn't want you.

Who thought of you as just a friend.

Meanwhile your words piss Eddie off because yeah maybe he would look at cheerleaders every so often but they aren't who he wants.

The only girl he's ever wanted (as in fallen head over heels in love with) is you. He wants more than friendship, wants to hold your hand, kiss you, show you how much he adores you.

"What am I supposed to do then? Stare at you the whole time, like I want and pretend I'm not dying inside because you're not my girl, you just want to be friends?" Eddie snaps as his emotions, his longing for you boils to the surface.

He's tried to hide how in love with you he is for so long, suppressing every urge to tell you how he feels. It was inevitable that he would tell you someday.

You freeze as what Eddie said sinks in. He loves you... A feeling of euphoria overwhelms you, after all this time he's felt the same as you.

"I never said I just wanted to be friends! " you yell back. Eddie folds his arms across his chest trying not to get his hopes up at what you're saying, trying to protect himself if this goes south.

"Oh yeah? And I've never said I wanted a cheerleader!" he replies. I want you he yells in his head frustrated.

"Well, good!" you feel elated at this and the feelings of anger begin to fade away. There's a hopefulness building inside of you at the fact he loves you.

"Good! Why are we still yelling?" He's softened too, expression gentle as he looks at you.

You shrugs helplessly at his question.

"I don't know Eddie, at this moment I just want you to be kissing me" a blush creeps up his cheeks and he moves closer to you almost tripping over you in his haste to be near you.

That was Eddie fast, restless, always on the go, loud and dramatic... But god you loved him.

"I love you" You whisper in his ear and he grins at you scooping you up in his arms and twirling you around the room.

"I love you princess"

You're a little embarrassed that everyone must have seen this but when you look at the crowd in the cafeteria they are all gone except the Hellfire boys.

When did that happen? The whole place must have cleared out as you were fighting.

Dustins voice rings out in relief breaking the silence.

"About fucking time. Pay up Jeff" Eddie's eyes widen and he glares at the boys.

"Hey, you buttheads. You bet on us?" Dustin looks around for help from the others but they are suddenly quiet again.

"Alright everyone for themselves" he yells and the next second the boys are out of their seats and speeding past you in Eddie.

Overcome with giggles you sober up at the thunderous look on Eddie's face and kiss him gently. A blissful expression appears on his face and the storm was evaded. For now at least.

❤️

I think a lot of people really don't get the Eddie Dustin dynamic. They think Dustin and Eddie are new best friends, that they are equal, which is not the case. Their dynamic is more mentor-student coded. Eddie said it himself he sees the people in his club as little sheep he saved, he never really was their friend. His world view also shaped Dustin's personality. This kid and his friends saved the world 3 times, they consider themselves heroes and yet by society standards they are seen as nerds and get bullied. Then there comes a dude who they think gets it, so they latch on. Even though he is not that different from popular kids who think they are better than the rest. His harmful opinions influence Dustin (I would argue even Mike) that they suddenly ditch their friend, are mean, failing school even though in Dustin's case he absolutely loves learning and so forth. Eddie brought out the worst of them which contributed to the tensions in s4 between Steve and Dustin (along with Dustin maybe being jealous of Robin tbh I haven't considered that way but it makes sense). You can't compare the Steve and Dustin dynamic with Eddie and Dustin because Steve never saw himself as something better than Dustin, he always treated him as someone equal which is why their bond will always be stronger than the bond Dustin has with Eddie. I really hope for s5 they somewhat touch on this. (Sorry for coming in your inbox like this)

Most people in this fandom don't get Eddie, full stop. They completely buy into the bullshit he spews about conformity and "the man", which isn't helped by the Duffers also leaning into it. Most egregious example being the supposed conclusion to Lucas' s4 arc. It's ridiculous precisely because Eddie does begin to learn that his assumptions/"doctrine" is wrong through his growing admiration for Steve and his bravery.

Eddie's relationship with his friends is absolutely not based on any kind of equality. He is looked to as a leader and not a particularly forgiving one at that. More like a tyrant. It's played for laughs but Mike and Dustin are genuinely anxious about how Eddie will react to not only Lucas not being available for DnD on one particular night, but him being unavailable because of a basketball game. Lucas didn't even want to talk to him himself, probably because Eddie has already shown himself to be unreasonable when it comes to DnD and basketball.

It's not purely Eddie's influence that leads Dustin to his meaner path, but he certainly doesn't help. Dustin has always been a know-it-all and cocky, he has a foul mouth, and he clearly has hard set ideas about other people that he finds very difficult to let go of. I think Eddie's main influence is in the us vs them attitude that Dustin adopts regarding the "popular" kids, but Dustin's overconfidence is definitely also because he has cheated death 3 years in a row. Nobody that was real to Dustin has died and he believes his plans are infallible... until Eddie dies following one of his plans. Yes, Eddie made the stupid decision to run into certain death for no real reason, but it is through Dustin that Eddie is connected to the larger plot. If he had just witnessed Chrissy's death and then hid, then he would have eventually been found by someone else and never directly involved with the Upside Down.

The thing I mentioned about jealousy over Steve and Robin's friendship, I think it's something that gets overlooked Way too much. Dustin was very invested in his idea that Steve and Robin are perfect for each other. We all know why they're not together, but Dustin doesn't. He just sees Steve being best friends with Robin instead of boyfriend and girlfriend like he had expected/predicted and that throws him off. 1. He was not right about something and 2. HE'S supposed to be Steve's best friend. He feels replaced. So, he tries to replace Steve. Not totally, because he can't, but Dustin Literally says to Steve "You're just jealous I have another older male friend". Dustin doesn't have subtlety. He's Trying to make Steve jealous and it is working!

Steve and Dustin's friendship was so fresh and unexpected. They're not supposed to be friends, but they are. Steve watches Star Wars with Dustin, Steve does Dustin's hair. They save each other's lives. Attempting to recreate that brotherhood with Eddie just...doesn't work. They haven't gone through what Steve and Dustin have gone through. Plus, you're right, Steve and Dustin are on a more equal level. There's elements of mentor-student with them, but most importantly they teach each other. Steve isn't leading Dustin down a road of enlightenment, he's just hanging out with his buddy. Eddie doesn't compare.

I have zero faith in s5, which I'm barely certain I'll even be watching. The Duffers lean too hard into fan service so they're going to recreate the Justice for Barb storyline but with Dustin and it's going to suck. The Duffers don't think it's a bad thing that Dustin snipes at Steve constantly or puts down his intelligence, because it's meant to be funny. Comic relief yay. The characters on this show are mean to each other, yes, but it's annoying to deal with when we see Steve apologise for going too far when he bites back at Dustin.

To the NLOG anon:

I had written a long piece but lost it, so the gist of it is that bullies are social chameleons. They will always try to find a way to get away with bullying while claiming to be the victims. And many of the "bad" NLOGs were girls looking for ways to recreate the status quo with them at the top instead.

I think that NLOGs were a natural result of the post 9/11 conservative paranoia of "anyone who is not a good American™ is a Satanic Menace to Society" (where good American meant white, christian, affluent, thin, conventionally attractive, straight...and everybody else, from foreigners, fat people, anyone gender non conforming or even alternative people were "planning the downfall of civilization"). In that climate, harassment towards "the weird" was not only tolerated but encouraged as the moral thing to do.

And the thing is, if you are ostracized from society but discouraged to learn about feminism and such, then it's no wonder that your only way of defending yourself is by using the same attacks used against you!

The big change here I think came with the recession where suddenly society became fascinated with the weird, and being a hipster or a nerdy girl was "acceptable" (hence the "golden years" of Tumblr). Many of the bullies who had gained notoriety thanks to their privilege suddenly realised they couldn't get away with it as talk about discrimination and feminism was becoming more commonplace, and so many people adopted NLOG looks and attitudes to keep doing society approved bullying.

Nowadays tho you don't see many NLOGs because, like you said, we either know better now and have deconstructed ourselves or simply because in this era of "bring back bullying" most people don't need to hide behind underprivileged people to harass someone. If they want to hate on other women they can just become a tradwife/high value woman and go back to the conservative politics of the 2000s or they can pick a bit of #girlbossfeminism while going back to their hyper feminine roots to claim *throws dice* that you have to like pink or you have internalised misogyny and that you should just try to fit into the mold, for your own good, you know.

So yeah, those who want to oppress will find a way to do so under any costume, while being the loudest and sidelining the rest of us. There's nothing to do about it, unfortunately :(

--

I mean... sure...

But the actual phrase "not like the other girls" rose to prominence to point out how fucking obnoxious a class of book is for its heroine who is always like "I don't want to stay home and do needlework!" and then the book is set in some era when rich ladies are supposed to be running an entire manor house or something, not just embroider, and the author has blatantly missed all of that. Or it's some Anita Blake bullshit where the heroine hates literally every other woman, and especially all of them with blond hair because the author is insecure and bugfuck nuts.

It's a specific dumb trope in fiction and term in criticism of that dumb trope.

Mike Wheeler in Stranger Things: Identity

Okay, so I know that generally- and especially after season four- what seems to be the most common interpretation of Mike as a queer character, is that he’s repressing his sexuality throughout the entire series. I would like to counter that argument with one that suggests Mike is aware of his feelings for Will on a conscious level, and while he has repressed his identity prior to season four, he is now past the point of being able to repress his identity and his feelings for Will. To fully analyze Mike’s awareness of his identity, I will be exploring his repression and denial as a result of societal pressures as seen through the journey from season one through three, and the acceptance and attempted expression of his identity in season four.

Mike Wheeler in Season One of Stranger Things (Society)

While Will is missing, and while the Party is trying to figure out what to do with El, Mike is continually targeted by Troy. More specifically, Troy calls Will gay to torment Mike. Lucas and Dustin aren’t targeted in the same way nor do they have the same reactions as Mike. Lucas and Dustin aren’t the ones to push Troy when he’s making fun of Will in the gym, Mike is. We also see that Mike is somewhat shameful about what Troy has been doing. Troy calls Will slurs and when Mike tries to walk away, as the one being targeted by Troy, he’s tripped and slams his chin into a rock on the ground. He lies to El at first about the scrape on his chin because he doesn’t want her to know what happened. He doesn’t want her to know about what Troy is saying to him. Mike is bullied in season one for Will being perceived as queer. This implies that Mike is also perceived as queer by Troy but unlike Will, is bullied indirectly. 

Bullying isn't the only aspect of season one that implies that Mike is experiencing societal pressure to conform; Both Dustin and Lucas suggest that Mike likes El. Mike denies this at first. What we see as an audience suggests that Mike’s feelings about El are different from Lucas and Dustin’s but not in the way that the characters are interpreting them. In episode two when El starts to change in front of the boys- because she doesn’t know any reason not to- Lucas and Dustin have very charged reactions. They are shocked and express that this is not a normal thing to do. Their reactions indicate that Lucas and Dustin have knowledge of why this situation isn’t normal, and that they both abide by and fit into that aspect of society. Mike’s reaction is very different. He’s annoyed by Lucas and Dustin’s reactions and quickly finds a solution to the problem. Mike knows why this situation is unacceptable, but because it doesn’t apply to him he is able to seem far more mature about handling it than his friends are. Mike knows how he is supposed to fit into society but his actions set him apart from those who actually do.

The start of Mike and El’s romantic relationship comes after Lucas and Dustin suggest it to Mike. They are telling Mike what is normal and now he is able to match his actions to their perceptions. This idea of what’s normal, liking El, is furthered by Nancy asking Mike if he likes El towards the end of the season when they’ve all met up at the school. Mike asks El if she wants to go to the Snow Ball with him, and then he kisses her. These aren’t unique actions. They abide perfectly by society's acceptable standards of romantic relationships, and what Mike is aware is acceptable, but there is little substance behind them. This is however, a shift from the beginning of the season where Mike’s knowledge of society contrasted his actions within it. After being told that being queer and not abiding by society will get you hurt or killed, and being pressured by close friends and family into liking El, Mike has started to actively repress his identity. His knowledge of what is socially acceptable is now driving his actions.

In season one Mike Wheeler is told that it is dangerous to reject society, and he is told that by people who hurt him for it and people he is close to. At twelve, Mike isn’t aware of his identity but he is made aware of the fact that it is unacceptable to be queer, or to make any action that suggests queerness in any way. Mike kisses El not only because it is what he has been told he is supposed to do, but because he has also been told that being perceived as anything else is dangerous. Mike’s journey with forced conformity and his identity starts in season one because that is the season where he is threatened for any action that society perceives as queer and where he learns to match his actions to what society deems acceptable. 

Mike Wheeler in Season Two of Stranger Things (Repression)

Max Mayfield, Trauma and Identity, and Mike’s Response in Relation to Both (Season Two)

As Mike has begun to repress his identity, his anger towards Max is a direct result of his own internal conflict. Since Mike experienced many traumatic events in season one, his internal conflict cannot be wholly attributed to the repression of his identity. Mike’s denial of El’s death and his guilt surrounding it, Will’s disappearance, being chased by government agents: all of these things have an impact on Mike and his actions as a character. He is both traumatized by those events, and his experience with Troy and the resulting repression of his identity. When considering his reaction to Max it’s important to view the entirety of Mike’s experiences as a character to better understand what his actions mean and where they’re coming from. Mike’s decisions are impacted by both his identity and his experiences because of it and outside of it. I would first like to consider his reaction to Max through the lens of his experiences in season one, outside of his identity, to create a better understanding of how that trauma impacts his character differently than the repression of his identity. 

In season one, Mike and Joyce Byers had similar reactions and experiences as a result of Will going missing. They were both doubted and experienced pushback upon telling others that they believed Will was still alive. Will’s disappearance affected them differently than others that knew Will. Mike’s response to Will going missing is emphasized when Dustin, Lucas and him are questioned by Hopper at school, and when they are at the hospital. In both those situations Mike has a different action than Dustin and Lucas. While Dustin and Lucas were arguing, Mike was sitting silently on the couch. At the hospital we see the same situation where Lucas and Dustin have fallen asleep contrasting Mike who is still awake and waiting. Mike having a different response than his friends to Will’s disappearance is indicative of both a different relationship between Mike and Will, and different future reactions from Lucas and Dustin as a result of differing trauma. El’s introduction to the party in season one was met with pushback from Lucas and Dustin, contrasting Mike’s immediate acceptance of her. When Dustin, Lucas and Mike saw her die in front of them, this would have a different effect on Mike because like Mike’s relationship with Will, his relationship with El is emphasized to be different from Lucas and Dustin’s relationship with her. Mike does not have the same experiences as Lucas and Dustin, causing his actions and reactions and impact of trauma on them to differ from theirs.

Lucas and Dustin have immediate positive reactions to Max’s introduction juxtaposing Mike and Will who are not interested in Max. Will, unlike Mike, does eventually accept Max into the Party. Considering that Mike and Will’s initial reactions to Max were the same, one can infer that there is a commonality in their characters, mainly their sexual identities, that sets them apart from Lucas and Dustin. However, Mike’s actions towards and in response to Max change and Will’s stay the same, one can also infer that Mike’s adverse feelings towards Max are a result of something other than his internal conflict in repressing his identity. 

Max Mayfield’s introduction is both as a new character and as a love interest. Mike and Will’s initial reactions are different from Lucas and Dustin’s because of their lack of romantic interest in Max. Will eventually accepts Max into the Party because unlike Mike, his pushback to Max is almost entirely because of his identity. Mike does not accept Max as a friend because of his experiences in season one that differ from Lucas, Dustin and Will’s. Will disappearing and continuing to have problems, and El dying have caused Mike to be adverse to trusting new people. Part of Mike’s issues with Max are because of his trauma surrounding losing people he cares about. That isn’t to say that his struggles with his identity and subsequent repression do not also affect his feelings and actions towards Max. Mike’s adverse feelings towards Max are a result of trauma and his identity. 

As Mike has begun to repress his identity due to his experiences in season one, his negative response to Max makes sense not only as a result of losing Will and El, but as a response to undeniable proof of being different from Dustin and Lucas. Mike doesn’t like Max like they do, and while Will doesn’t either, Mike's focus is primarily on conforming to society himself. Dustin and Lucas like Max immediately and their reactions to Max contrast both Mike’s reactions to Max, and his feelings towards El. Mike doesn’t like Max, romantically or otherwise, because her presence is a constant attack on his repression. He’s different from Lucas and Dustin. He doesn’t like the new girl at school, and that’s a problem because not liking Max like Lucas and Dustin is too close to what he’s repressing; he doesn’t like girls at all. 

Will Byers, High Stress Situations and Denial (Season Two)

In high stress situations Mike’s feelings take precedence over his repression. Will’s possession is a high stress situation that causes Mike’s actions to reflect his feelings rather than what he knows to be socially acceptable. He holds Will’s hand when Will’s scared, and sleeps at his bedside in the lab. When Mike is not given time to make an informed decision about his actions, they tend to be actions that are not socially acceptable. The contrast between how Mike acts with Will at the Byers house and in the lab, and at the SnowBall, shows us that Mike’s actions change when they are not forced to be instinctual. Mike doesn’t have time to think about placing his hand over Will’s, or reaching out to him when he’s in danger because the situation does not give him time to consider the societal implications and or pushback to those actions. However, at the SnowBall, Mike does have time to implement societal implications into his reasoning, which is why he encourages Will to dance with a girl, and why he dances with El when she shows up. Season one and season two end with Mike in very similar places in terms of the repression of his identity: Mike, El and the SnowBall, and Mike kissing El. Mike and El’s relationship and Mike’s response to El has remained the same, but there have been developments in Mike’s response to Will.

If Lucas and Dustin liking Max is a threat to Mike’s repression of his identity, then Will dancing with a girl has a similar effect. Mike and Dustin stare at Will dancing with a girl and Max dancing with Lucas, respectively. Unlike when Max was introduced, Mike doesn’t push back against the new girl, he encourages Will to dance with her because this is not the same as Lucas and Dustin liking Max. Will not dancing with a girl would be more of a problem because of Mike’s feelings for Will. As he is repressing those feelings, he needs to push Will away from him. Until the Snow Ball, Mike has not made any decisions that distanced him from Will because Mike did not have any reason to. Prior to the end of season two, Mike was not aware that his actions towards Will were socially unacceptable and therefore a threat to the repression of his identity. At the end of season one, Mike had begun to repress his identity but was still largely unaware of it. What has changed at the end of season two is Mike’s awareness of what it is that he’s repressing and his subsequent denial of it. He starts to push Will away, and his feelings for him, and pushes himself towards El because of his knowledge that he’s supposed to like her, and what is socially acceptable.

Mike Wheeler in Season Three of Stranger Things (Denial)

Now that Mike has gained enough awareness of his own repression of his identity, he has shifted from repression to denial. In season three, Mike actively seeks out help for how he is supposed to act in society and continues to push away anything that suggests he doesn’t conform to society. Despite his attempts to conform Mike is confronted with his and El’s relationship and how it contrasts Lucas and Max's relationship, and his relationship and feelings for Will.

Denial and Conscious Defense (Season Three) 

Mike and El’s relationship isn’t like Max and Lucas’s. They don’t go to the movies together, or hang out with their friends, or maintain a connection outside of their romantic relationship. Even Suzie and Dustin, as we later learn, share interests and memories, further showing that there is something off about Mike and El’s relationship. Hopper complains about Mike and El’s relationship to Joyce and tells her that he thinks something is wrong with it. What is shown on this level doesn’t affect Mike’s character, or force him to confront his identity. He doesn’t see the contrast between his and El’s relationship and the others like we do. It is however, important to acknowledge the emphasis on the contrast to the viewer alongside Mike’s denial of his sexuality. As Mike’s identity is becoming a conscious problem for him, it is also becoming a conscious possibility to the audience perceiving his character. 

Mike and Will, and Max and Lucas meet up to see a movie at the mall. Mike’s late after hanging out with El, and Lucas makes fun of him. He mocks Mike, saying, “Oh, El. I wish we could make out forever and never hang out with any of our friends.” Lucas’s words imply that Mike’s relationship with El and the actions he makes aren’t normal. By making fun of it he’s pointing out elements within it that are off. Lucas continues to tease Mike until Mike gets defensive, saying, “Yeah, it’s so funny that I want to spend romantic time with my girlfriend.” Mike is trying to reaffirm that his and El’s relationship is normal. He’s denying Lucas’s claims that it’s something wrong and something that can be made fun of, to which Lucas responds, “I’m spending romantic time with my girlfriend.” The difference that Lucas is highlighting between his and Mike’s romantic relationships is Mike’s denial that there is something weird about it. It’s not normal to never hang out with the Party, considering that they’re all friends, and Mike’s excuse of “spending romantic time with [his] girlfriend” is immediately refuted. 

Mike is very quick to deny Lucas’s teasing. As Mike isn’t able to completely repress his identity anymore, he becomes more defensive to anything that implies he doesn’t fit into society. Denial is a conscious act of defense for Mike, both internal and external, which is why he becomes defensive so quickly in response to Lucas’s teasing.

Will Byers, Identity and Denial, and Confrontation (Season Three)

When El breaks up with him, Mike goes to Lucas for help. Their relationship doesn’t come naturally to him, but as he is in denial of his identity, he needs their relationship to work. In doing this, he pushes Will away, and their interests and connection. While Mike is unable to figure out how to apologize to El on his own, he doesn’t hesitate to run after Will. Will is more important to Mike than the denial of his identity. The first real fight between Mike and Will happens because of Mike’s denial. It’s a similar situation, Mike getting defensive when it’s implied that he doesn’t fit perfectly into society, like him getting defensive at Lucas’s teasing at the mall. However, this situation is still very different from what happened at the mall because Will isn’t Lucas. His existence in Mike’s life is a blatant counter to Mike’s denial of his identity. Mike’s denial doesn’t present simply as defense with Will, it presents as Mike pushing Will away and both of them getting frustrated and yelling at each other as a consequence when things get pushed too far.

Mike and Will’s fight in season three is a result of their separate conflicts surrounding their identities. It’s set off by Lucas and Mike making fun of Will for still wanting to play D&D, but quickly boils down to the main issue: Mike and Will’s relationship, and Mike’s denial of it resulting in him pushing Will away. In the basement, when Will’s had enough, he says he’s going home and Mike goes after him, Lucas is left behind. Their conversation shifts from Mike saying, “It’s a cool campaign. It’s really cool. We’re just not in the mood right now,” rather quickly to Will saying, “You’re destroying everything- and for what? So you can swap spit with some stupid girl?” They start off talking about the whole Party, Lucas, Mike, Will and Dustin, but the Party isn’t why Mike and Will are fighting. Will is the one to shift the conversation away from the Party and onto Mike. 

Immediately after Will narrows in on Mike, Mike gets defensive and says, “El’s not stupid. It’s not my fault you don’t like girls.” Will is calling Mike and El’s relationship into question, he’s forcing Mike into a conversation where he will be unable to deny his identity to himself any longer, so he throws it right back at Will. Mike’s denial of his identity is tied to his relationship with El, to getting older and fitting into society. Will’s denial of his identity is tied to his relationship with the party, to playing games in Mike’s basement and not having to think about falling in love or what is expected of them in the future. Will is devaluing Mike’s relationship, his attempt to fit into society, and Mike responds in turn.

“I’m not trying to be a jerk, okay? But we’re not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?”

In the same way that Will brought up how Mike’s focus on his and El’s relationship is negatively affecting all of their friends, and pointing out how Mike’s denial is “destroying [their] party”, Mike latches onto Will’s denial. He is telling Will that what he’s trying to do is unrealistic and unattainable, despite the fact that Mike having genuine feelings for El is also unattainable. He is not specifically talking about Will being queer, nor is Will talking about Mike being queer, they are talking about themselves and projecting their frustration onto each other. 

After Mike shifts the focus of the conversation onto Will, there is another major shift, once again because of Will, he responds to Mike by saying, “Yeah. I guess I did. I really did,” and then he rides into the rain on his bike. The conversation has shifted from Mike and Will as each other’s focus, to something deeper; their relationship and what Will expected for him and Mike. Will took Mike’s words as Mike talking about their relationship rather than Mike returning Will’s words about his denial. Will isn’t denying anything. He’s telling Mike the truth and the truth has different implications than Mike’s words. Mike is conscious of this shift, his face falls, and he yells after Will as he leaves. The fight in season three between Mike and Will has two major shifts, both initiated by Will: the first being the shift from the conversations focus on the party to Mike and Will as individuals, and the second being the shift from Mike and Will to Mike and Will’s relationship and its implications.

When Mike is in a situation of high stress, like Will being possessed or fighting with Will about their relationship, he isn’t able to consider the societal implications of his actions. He relies on what’s natural to him, and after fighting with Will, it’s running after him. Mike doesn’t have time to deny his feelings for Will, he’s more focused on apologizing. We see how Mike’s denial crumbles away, despite Lucas beside him as he goes after Will to make things right. Mike doesn’t hesitate. His and Will’s relationship comes naturally to him. Unlike with El, who Mike needs to ask others for help with, Mike knows exactly what he needs to do with Will, which is another hit to his denial of his identity. The way Mike handles his fight with Will is very different from how he handles his and El’s break up. The proximity of these two events forces Mike to compare them, and starts to crack the defenses of his internal denial of his identity. 

Mike and El’s Relationship (Season Three)

At the end of season three, it continues the trend of reaffirming Mike and El’s relationship, but unlike in season one and two, it’s not initiated by Mike. In season one, Mike kissed El because he was repressing his identity. In season two, Mike kissed El because he was in denial of his identity. In season three, Mike doesn’t kiss El because he has been forced to accept his identity. When she kisses him, he doesn’t reciprocate, and appears confused afterwards. Despite his acceptance, Mike’s journey with his identity isn’t over, because now he has a new problem; El kissed him. They’re still in a relationship, and he has feelings for Will. Mike is given no time to attempt to fix this as Will and El move away from Hawkins at the end of the season.

Mike Wheeler in Season Four of Stranger Things (Acceptance + Fear)

Acceptance, Awareness and Concealment (Season Four)

We learn early on in season four that Mike’s started to embrace a different side of himself with his appearance. His hair is longer, he wears dark clothes: he’s not trying to fit into what is socially acceptable anymore. Mike has once again started playing D&D. That was what started off Mike and Will’s fight in season three, and at the end of season three was what they talked about before Will left Hawkins. D&D doesn’t represent Will trying to hold onto their childhood. It represents living outside of what is acceptable. To Mike and Will it means even more because it’s a piece of the foundation of their relationship. Mike is now fully aware of his identity and has accepted it. Acceptance means that he has become unable to deny his queerness, but it does not mean that he experiences any less internal conflict over his queerness. In season four Mike is faced with many situations that escalate because of his own fears about his identity and the reality that he finds himself in. Mike goes to California and has to confront both Will and El, his friend who he has feelings for and his girlfriend who he’s still in a relationship with despite his knowledge of his identity and his feelings.

Now that Mike is aware of his identity and has accepted it, he has become far worse at being able to hide it. Mike arrives in Lenora wearing bright colours and clothes that are nothing like what he was wearing to school the day before. He brings El flowers, and while he doesn’t initiate their kiss, he does reciprocate. Until Mike sees Will, he is doing an adequate job of hiding his identity from everyone. His clothes make him stand out and are clearly not normal for him, but what really breaks his facade is when he doesn’t hug Will. Not hugging Will is far more incriminating for Mike than greeting him normally. Mike has a strong start at the airport but it becomes clear rather quickly that when Mike is faced with Will, his defenses start to fall apart. Mike is overthinking his actions around Will. He is aware of his feelings for Will and overcomplicates everything because of it. At the airport, Mike is unable to hug Will, to greet him like a normal friend, and fails in starting a normal conversation. If Argyle didn’t bring attention to Mike’s off brand shirt and his false expression of his identity, then he might have still had a chance to appear normal, in both the audience and other character’s eyes but with that last nail in the coffin, Mike is unable to appear normal in the audience’s or the character’s perceptions. Mike’s fears and defensive stance have shifted away from denial of his identity, and now to the possibility of others figuring it out.

Mike doesn’t talk to Will until he is forced into a stressful situation where he is, as is usual of his character, unable to match his actions to society's standards. Initially, Mike doesn’t notice the situation with El as he is focused on hiding his identity from Will and El. Mike is alone for the first time in six months with the two people who his newly accepted identity are directly affected by. Most of Mike’s actions at Rink O’ Mania are based in his fear of Will and El finding out about him. However, his actions are not like how they were in season three. Mike’s denial of his identity presented outwardly as anger and defensiveness, his acceptance presents as avoidance and deflection. Mike knows who he is. He needs to turn the conversation away from himself to stop anyone from looking any closer at him and seeing who he is for themselves. 

Will and the Closet (Season Four)

Mike and Will’s fight at Rink O’ Mania isn’t due to Mike and Will’s denial of their identities. There is a new point of contention in their relationship: the closet. Both Mike and Will are fully aware of their identities and their feelings for one another, but are unaware of the other’s feelings. Once again, they are taking out their individual struggles with their identities out on each other. This is a result of Mike and Will’s feelings for each other feeding the escalation of their frustration. It’s the same thing that happened with Mike and Will’s fight in season three, but instead of defense and anger driving the conversation, it’s deflection. 

During this fight, Mike yells at Will, “You were! You were rolling your eyes, you were… you were moping! You were barely talking. You basically sabotaged the whole day.” Mike is turning the conversation away from his actions and onto Will. He’s trying to keep Will away from the truth, but it doesn’t work because Will is also trying to keep Mike from figuring out the truth. Will uses El to defect from Mike’s sudden turn on him, telling Mike, “Well, she was lying to you Mike! Straight to your face ever since you got here…” This part of Will’s response is in line with his and Will’s mutual deflection, but just like in the rain fight, Will is the one to shift the conversation onto his and Mike’s relationship.

Will asks, “What about us?” when Mike starts to walk away. Will is not in the same position as Mike. He doesn’t have a girlfriend and while there are still consequences to his words, they aren’t as damning as they’d be if they came from Mike. In season one it was established that Will would cast fireball rather than protection; he’s more inclined to put himself in danger. Mike and Will’s characterizations are opposites when it comes to handling danger. Where Will is more likely to take the risk, Mike plays it safe. This is often seen as Mike being overprotective of people like Will and El, rather than Mike trying to find the safest way to proceed. This aspect of their characters is seen on a larger level, like Will telling them to close the gate when he was possessed, and telling Joyce to run through the lights in season one, or in Mike’s case it’s seen through his overprotectiveness and ability to come up with the safest plans like sedating Will in season two rather than trying to hold him back. Will throws himself into the line of fire while Mike works to minimize damage. This is why Will is always the one to bring up the importance of their relationship. It’s simply an aspect of his character, just like Mike’s complete avoidance of the topic is Mike’s way of trying to find the safest way out of the situation. However, when Mike is confronted by Will in this manner, he’s too shocked to say anything substantial in response until much later. 

Will’s insistence on bringing up his and Mike’s relationship puts pressure on Mike. This pressure reaches a high when Will asks Mike one last time, “And us?” Will keeps pushing for Mike to give him an answer, an answer that Mike is trying to avoid. Since Will is the one asking him this and the added stress of what happened with El, Mike isn’t able to abide by his knowledge of what is socially acceptable. Mike responds to Will asking him about their relationship by trying to deflect, but again like his and Will’s reunion at the airport, he overcompensates. Mike says, “We’re friends. We are friends.” This is unnecessary and Mike soon finds out about his mistake when Will says, “Well, we used to be best friends!” This clarifies that Will was talking about their friendship, while Mike interpreted Will’s words as comparing their relationship to his and El’s romantic relationship.

The stress of not being able to find El and fighting with Will forced Mike to make split second decisions. Will cornered him and Mike started to push him away. He got scared. Mike isn’t acting out of frustration like he did in season three. Mike’s denial of his identity is very different from his acceptance and fear of others figuring him out. Another difference between the fight in season three and the fight at Rink O’ Mania is that Mike doesn’t push Will into leaving. Mike’s the one that walks away from the conversation. He ends it by saying, “Let’s just find her, okay?” instead of escalating it further. Mike’s understanding of himself has changed the way he responds to feeling unsafe and to the possibility of a conversation heading towards a discussion of his identity. 

El and Confrontation (Season Four)

After Will and Mike’s fight, we then see the state of Mike's relationship with El. She confronts him about not being able to tell her he loves her, or sign his letters Love, Mike. Since Mike accepted his identity he has been trying to distance himself from El. Mike also doesn’t like lying. In the first season he was adamant that everyone follow the Party’s rule that “friends don’t lie.” Mike knows that he doesn’t love her romantically and he doesn’t actively lie to her in the letters. However, his actions are still led by fear and he has been avoiding the topic of his identity rather than outright lying. Mike does care about El, he shows this when he goes to her the day after Rink O’ Mania to try and talk about everything. Despite the fact that he’s just found out that El has been lying to him about how she’s actually been doing in Lenora, Mike is attempting to start a conversation about it rather than a fight. Mike attempts to connect with El by saying, “I’ve been bullied my whole life. I know what it's like.” Even when she responds negatively, telling him, “No. You don’t,” Mike still manages to remain mostly calm. 

This calmness persists until El turns the conversation a little too close to Mike’s actions, to his identity. When Mike asks her to tell him what he isn’t getting, she says, “I am different. I do not belong.” She is saying that Mike can’t understand what she’s going through because he isn’t different. This causes Mike’s demeanor to shift from calm to deflective. Mike is different, so El saying that he isn’t, is untrue but Mike can’t tell her that. This situation leaves him unable to talk to El about what happened without telling her the truth. He ends up overcompensating because El has pushed him into a corner. Mike tells her that, “[he cares for her so much].” He isn’t lying, but he’s still in a position where he has to actively avoid the truth. El then pushes him further by bringing up his letters and saying, “You can’t even write it, Mike” and “From, Mike. From, Mike. From, Mike,” citing evidence from all of his letters. She pushes Mike far enough that he starts trying to invalidate and deflect every part of their conversation in order to conceal the truth.

“Eleven, you’re being ridiculous- wh- like- what is this? You- you know what I think of you. You’re the most incredible person in the world. And, you can’t let these mouth breathers ruin you- ruin us. I mean, they’re nobodies. They’re nobodies. And you’re a superhero.”

Most characters don’t call El, Eleven. By calling her this, Mike is creating distance between them. This is also a sign that he’s stressed enough to completely forgo putting any thought into his words. His priority is changing the trajectory of the conversation and deflecting away from El’s confrontation about his shortcomings in their relationship. Unlike El, Mike doesn’t present any evidence to back up his claims. His words are not meant to reassure El or comfort her. Mike’s initial priority was comfort and understanding, but as soon as El brought up his actions, Mike’s priority shifted towards concealing his identity and the truth that comes with it.

Actions and Awareness (Season Four)

Mike and El’s conversation fell apart when El brought up being different from other people because, like Will, she backed Mike into a corner and started to push towards the truth. Mike ends up deflecting and pushing them both away. In season three, Mike lied to El. Hopper confronted Mike about him and El and  allowed Hopper to put distance between them. Mike made no move to go after El by himself. This changes in season four. After their fight, El is arrested and Mike runs after her. Acceptance means that Mike is aware of the reasons behind his actions. He is now in a position where he is able to think about finding a solution to his relationship with El and his feelings for Will. However, concealment and fear still motivate a lot of what he says and does in season four. Mike queerness is both why he needs to fix things, but also why he hasn’t figured out how to. There is no answer to his and El’s relationship that doesn't involve telling her about his identity. 

In the seasons prior to season four, Mike was attempting to fit into a society he still felt he belonged in. Now Mike knows he’s different but high stress situations still affect his decision making. Fighting with Will and El forces Mike’s actions to reflect truths that he is usually better at concealing. It’s still the same situation that caused Mike to grab Will’s hands in season two, and run after him after their fight in season three. The difference between season four and the others is that Mike was able to isolate these incidents. His repression and denial of his identity allowed him to compartmentalize it. Mike only had to confront his identity when he was forced to repress it or deny it. Now in season four, Mike is constantly aware of his identity. All of his actions are affected by it. 

From when Mike first arrives in Lenora wearing different clothes and acting weird around Will, to every conversation Mike and Will have, Mike’s actions are affected by his identity. Whether that be the concealment of his identity in his fights with El and Will, or in his feelings towards Will affecting how he acts in their relationship. After El is taken into custody, Mike, Will and Jonathan are put under house arrest by the government. With El gone, Mike’s internal conflict is no longer split in between two people in his immediate vicinity. His priorities shift from concealing his identity to finding El. The focus is no longer on Mike’s actions. As a result, Mike focuses less on hiding and this allows for the development of his and Will’s relationship because Mike stops pushing Will away whenever the conversation focuses on Mike. This shift can be seen when Mike initiates a conversation with Will and willingly discusses his own actions. 

The apology from Mike to Will happens just before they are shot at and go on the run in Argyle’s pizza van with Jonathan. Mike walks into Will’s room with his bag and Will asks, “Packed already?” and Mike responds, “Yeah, I mean. I never really unpacked.” These lines are meant to alert the viewer of Mike’s unresolved conflict. He got to Lenora and was immediately faced with El and Will. He wasn’t given the chance to sort things out between them. This line indicates that he was going to attempt to work things out. His reluctance to tell El he loves her is also an indication that Mike has been aware of his identity since he and El began sending letters to each other, and that he doesn't want to lie to her about it or that he is unable to lie to her about it. Mike’s fight with El shows us that he doesn’t want to lie to her but he hasn’t figured out how to tell her yet. Mike’s apology to Will shows us that he doesn’t want to lie to Will but he hasn’t figured out how to tell him how he feels. Mike is trying to make things right, but he’s scared to tell them the truth. 

Mike, in an attempt to make things right, apologizes to Will. He says, “Thanks by the way… for knocking some sense into me. I was being a total self-pitying idiot.” Mike acknowledges the way that he acted and willingly explains his reasons. He doesn’t tell Will the real reason that he was acting that way but acknowledges that there was a reason. Mike isn’t denying or deflecting the truth in this conversation; he’s confronting it himself. When Will tries to accept some of the blame for how things have gone since Mike arrived, Mike refutes him. 

“No. No, no, no, you didn’t deserve anything. Listen, the truth is the last year has been weird, y’know? And I mean, Max and Lucas and Dustin, they-they’re great- they’re great, it’s just- it’s Hawkins. It’s not the same without you.”

In refuting Will, Mike is willingly continuing a conversation about their relationship. He is allowing “the truth” to be the main focus. This is a change from his previous deflection of Will’s attempts to discuss their relationship, and by association, Mike’s identity. Mike’s journey does not end at his own acceptance of his identity. It ends with the expression of his identity. Being in the closet, having a girlfriend, not telling Will how he feels: these are all ways that Mike has become unable to express his queerness. It is not enough for Mike to know about himself. As this is the story of a queer character, acceptance of his own identity is only part of what needs to happen for Mike’s story arc with his personal conflict concerning his identity to be completed. The other part is being visibly queer in society, “coming out” to people that are important to him. Mike still exists within society's standards of acceptable behaviour. He still hasn’t broken the mold created in season one. That is the last thing that needs to happen for Mike’s identity arc to be completed. While this is not resolved in season four, scenes like his apology to Will, are setting up the trajectory he will follow in season five.

Mike’s speech to El when she’s in danger fighting Vecna is prompted by Will. It is not due to his own feelings, but due to societal pressure. Complicating this further, Will tells him that he’s “the heart.” This is what he told Mike when he gave him the painting that he said was commissioned by El.  As Mike and Will have been trying to pry answers out of each other throughout all of season four, they’ve also been reading through the lines of what the other is saying. They have been trying to figure out if they will accept the expression of their identity. So, when Will calls Mike “the heart” to push him into talking to El, he is also taking away any hope Mike had that the painting was actually from Will. In season four, Mike is the one to reach out to El to reaffirm their relationship, but unlike prior seasons, he is fully aware of his identity and actively being forced to conform. Mike’s speech doesn’t work because it’s not genuine, and Mike is unable to to fully conceal his identity while he is in a high stress situation, heartbroken, and completely aware that he’s lying. Mike can’t hide his identity anymore. This scene with El is showing us that not only does Mike need to fix his relationships with Will and El, but also that it is becoming more of a problem as time goes on. At the end of season four, Mike’s concealment of his identity is starting to fall apart. 

Mike Wheeler in Stranger Things (Conclusion)

In season one Mike learns what society deems unacceptable, that being queer or being perceived as queer is unacceptable. At the end of the season, Mike starts to repress his identity. His actions, which began as unmatched to society, have now fit into how Mike has been told he is supposed to exist. Season two explores Mike’s repression of his identity and his eventual denial as he is made aware of how he does not fit into society. In his denial, he pushes Will away and himself towards El. Mike’s actions in season two, like season one, begin as outside of what is expected from him within society, and ends with Mike matching his actions once again to what is socially acceptable. Season Three is a continuation of that denial and shift in his relationship with Will, and his new relationship with El. Eventually in season three Mike is forced to accept and become fully aware of his identity. His actions don't match with society at the end of season three, indicating this shift. At the end of season three, and through season four, Mike is hiding his queerness; He is in the closet. Now that he is aware of his identity and has been forced to accept it, he is unable to properly match his actions to what is socially acceptable. Mike’s need to express his identity causes his attempts to conceal it to fail. The end of Mike’s arc with his identity will concern his inability to hide it any longer, and his need to express it to others.

How do you feel about the character design of the spirit from dead by daylight? Her back story implies that her age is high-school or younger and the outfit, if you could call it that, makes no sense with it either. Another game that is fun but feels like it's being ruined by consistently sexist skins for other female characters.

From a more general perspective, the bigger problem with The Spirit, aka Rin Yamaoka, seems to be deliberate under development so that they can employ as many tropes and gimmicks as possible, without doing more than scratching the surface - and the general conflicts of what media is and isn't comfortable with.

Specifically a lot of it seems to be hung up in the idea that while men can be inherently evil or selfish in their violent motivations in infinite ways, women who become horrors generally conform to narrower tropes that almost always portray them as a victim.

If we want to move past this in horror and related genres, we need to not just support fictional women's rights, but also their wrongs.

Rest of the post is below the cut both because it is long, but also because it contains some disturbing imagery - however I think it's worth also just juxtaposing the promotional in-game depiction of The Spirit with the other very Japanese original horror creature in Dead By Daylight... The Oni.

I should also cover, there's probably a whole thesis worth of interesting discussion that could be had about the attempt to import Japanese horror into this game... but I'm really not qualified to speak on that in any meaningful way.

-wincenworks

Looking into it, her backstory makes it very ambiguous since her lair seems to be a house from an era where traditionally unmarried women would live with their parents well after the age of majority.

And the image that accompanies her lore seems to support this:

And if they'd stuck with that, she had the potential to be very cool in the same way that Hisako is. Unfortunately, they did not do the deep dive into that and instead... well.

I can completely understand why people would conclude she is high school or younger since they decided to dive into the Japanese Schoolgirl trope as well:

Which creates a lot of issues with the default design which is less bikini armor and more... she's supposed to be naked but that won't fly so she's got convoluted bindings on instead. I don't think anyone is supposed to fap to it, I think it's supposed to emphasize she was a vulnerable girl who has become a monster due to horrific wrong that was inflicted upon her. There lies the double standard.

Becoming evil due to having evil inflicted upon you is a staple of the horror genre, often in a manner that is very critical of the society it was created in but just as an exploration of potential or imagined evil. However, how its portrayed is often different for male terrors.

For example, Jason Voorhees has the victim of childhood bullying (culminating in being drowned at a school camp) and being raised by a very disturbed parent, he is the manifestation of rage and he looks like a buff blue-collar guy in a hockey mask. But like... he's in a different game so lets look at an example from Dead by Daylight.

Leatherface is, like Rin, both victim and perpetrator. He kills because his family commanded it, because he is scared of what will happen to him and because his life was shaped such he feels he has no choice to in order to keep living. This is what he looks like:

Nothing about this design projects his status as a victim, because for male slashers victimhood is supposed to be the twist, the unbelievable backstory - for female slashers its the rule, and the mandatory backstory.

Men can be the full range from victims to pure evil, women must always be victims who started with good intentions.

-wincenworks

Just musing out loud-

One of the gifts that time brought for me, ish, was a reduced interest in labels for myself. Reduced-not-gone, because humans love a good sorting hat, but definitely not what it once was.

It's most obvious in media, like with those YA books that routinely have explicit caste systems or divide people up by thematic groups, or with video games that let you pick a faction. But it sneaks in to real life too. Like, take the famed Tumblr* neogenders/neosexualities and proliferation of flags. It is, of course, unironically fun to watch the ever-increasing fractal complexity as people chase the questing beast of a coherent taxonomy of sexual nonconformity, and I think the people that do so often find it very rewarding. But I watch mostly as an outsider, because the whole thing is answering questions to which I already have satisfying answers in my own dialect- at least insofar as it comes to how I think about myself. And what's true in the narrow case of Tumblr's culture has some far-reaching impacts on politics as a whole, as you might guess.

It's not that I find the castes/factions/neogenders themselves uninteresting- almost the opposite really. I like exploring and thinking about them all, but in a way that doesn't trigger any questions about me as an observer; the 'me' in my sense of these things is a fairly high-inertia construct, one which doesn't really deform much in the presence of exciting new taxonomies. They tend to show me much more about their authors than they do about myself, though as always there are exceptions. It's like seeing a new map of a place you know well, where you're not so much discovering the territory as appreciating a new view of things through the eyes of someone else, a pleasure that follows from an appreciation of the cartographer's choice of framing and the cleverness by which they drew the lines.

The reason I say 'gift' is, most of the benefits of that sorting-hat instinct are front-loaded; a map, any map, is worth it's weight in gold when you're new to someplace. It helps you find a community where you can thrive, it helps you communicate with others and build shared expectations. But especially once you get a little bit more used to things and learn how to get around without a reference sheet, labels are a double-edged sword. There's no perfect label that can really capture a human person, leading to all manner of suffering as we try to conform to the labels we find ourselves carrying, and we can fall down a really deep hole if we start trying to treat those labels as the axioms from which a human is derived.

It also becomes clear, with the benefits of distance, that while a lot of my exertions in label-making felt like introspection at the time, they didn't really manage to be introspection. Introspection, I think, would have been a little more about my identity as a thing-in-itself; after all, it revolves around the question "who am I?" But a curious fact about these identity groups is that they're meant to be comprehensive; every single student at Hogwarts is placed within one of the four Houses. That is, playing around with these things isn't a matter of asking "who am I?", but rather, of describing the society in which we find ourselves, and our relationship to that society. Ruminating about the proper label for ourselves is asking a different question than introspection does: "where do I belong?"

A good chunk of what I thought was self-discovery was, in hindsight, something closer to self-consciousness. Trying to figure out how to be seen, how to be known, how to take up space in a social world where all of those things can be very high-stakes. But I seem to have stumbled in to a degree of equanimity with myself regardless, so I suppose no harm done. Probably you need to chase both lines of inquiry in parallel, but I think it would have helped me at the time to realize that they are fundamentally different questions.

Let’s talk motherhood for a second. 

In modern mainstream feminism, the goal is understood to be ‘equality’ with men, in which is meant several things:  equal treatment as human beings, equal social role to men in society, and economic parity with men.   They are looking to be treated as equal economic actors, who take on equal roles for caring for the home and interchangable parenting roles. 

Our experience in the past thirty to forty years has shown that this is impossible, and not because of women’s inability to fulfill these roles (women have proven themselves equal to or superior to men in every field of work they have entered), but because of men’s refusal to participate in this great levelling of humanity into equality and reciprocity. 

Men don’t want women to have equal pay, or it would have happened by now.  Men don’t want to participate equally in home care, or it would have happened by now.  Men want equal parenting roles when it comes to the fun stuff or having the power over children, but rarely want to squat in the trenches with the cleanup, the nitty-gritty of child care, the day-to-day work.  They want this to be optional, so there ends up being a female full-time parent and a male part time one, even when the majority income earner is the woman. 

In trying to take on the same social role as men, women are trying to reduce the impact of motherhood on their lives, using money and other womens’ labor to reduce their workload, so they can continue attempting the social role of men.   They are dealing with the extreme of their body’s hard labor to create a new human being, while trying to pretend that it wasn’t that much work and hadn’t impacted their social value (which rests in creating an appearance of well-being and sexual availability through other extreme means).   

But motherhood is such an extreme change in a woman’s life, that trying to go on as before, or trying to go on mimicking male economic status, is a near-impossible task.  You have gone through incredible psychological and physiological changes, and yet you are expected, and expect of yourself, to go on as if nothing much has changed, pursuing male economic status while still projecting the ideals of femininity (effortless, sexy, beautiful, only surface level, uncomplicated emotions that place no burden on anyone).   Women are minimizing the beauty and joy, ugliness and pain, awfulness and wonder of motherhood by trying to make it conform to the ideas marketed to us through the male eyes of what motherhood should look like.

In the face of this impossible burden, women are forced to outsource the care labor of a child because a single woman at home with a baby for 20 out of 24 hours in the day is not a healthy situation for either the mother or the child.   Human beings evolved in caretaking groups for a reason, and that’s because people are supposed to care for each other, and also be cared for.   The mother is taking care of the child, yes, but who is taking care of the mother?   Only the mother, and maybe sometimes the father, but most often the father expects to continue to be cared for by the mother/wife as he had before the baby was born.  

How do you take care of yourself and also a child and a household and a man, while recovering from intense trauma to your body and intense changes to your life and the amount of work expected of you, while being nearly completely isolated from contact with other people, and also maintain your humanity?   Men point out that we now have labor-saving machines, but this is hardly the point, as labor-saving machines neither interact with the children nor provide companionship and care for the mother.  This situation is untenable for women, and so of course they must look for other solutions, such as external childcare in the form of nannies, babysitters, daycare centers, or shipping the child off to grandparents. 

But in this way the beautful connections between people are strained, and further alienated from each other by strict accountings of value and price now that our economy has evolved to selling our time and mental energy as well as our labor.  Instead of childcare being a communal project, where everyone’s contribution is a gift to each other and the community, we must constantly protect our self interest and strictly account for the value of everyone’s time, in order to make sure that everyone’s economic interest is covered, because no one can afford to be taken advantage of.  Literally, in today’s economy, if you do not make sure you are paid for every moment of your working time, it’s quite difficult to keep a roof over your head and food on your plate.

This situation of extreme burden to women, has been forced onto us by the rules of the market economy, an economic system invented by men and for men, under which society has been subsumed for the last 250 years.   The market economy wants all the economic actors to operate as independent, self-interested units that compete with each other for resources and whose contributions supposedly miraculously balance out.

The market economy was built around the previous econonmic epoch’s concept of autarchy, where each male was the head of an economic unit—the household—comprised of reproductive slaves, household slaves, the next generation of males (future heads of household), and the next generation of both reproductive and household slaves.  The men each represented an individual political and econonmic unit in society, and the household behind each man was subsumed into his representational unit.  The women, children and slaves were only economically counted in terms of the patriarch they were attached to. 

With the partial economic emancipation of women through the work of the second wave feminists in the 1970s, women were released into the economy, which disrupted this paradigm of men as sole earners and political units that everyone else was dependent upon.   At first the men were upset to have the competition, but capitalism as a system quickly realised the benefit of this new group of lower-wage workers, as they could be both marketed to and drawn from in the labor market, and more cheaply.  For this and other structural reasons, wages were lowered in real terms, and it again became common for two incomes to be necessary in many if not most households, but the cultural framework did not evolve, meaning women who entered into reproductive partnership with men were still doing the major part of work of the household, housework and childcare, while also doing their part to earn money for the household.  

Twitter and the death of Media Literacy

As the original post now has reblogs turned off before this post came out of the queue, looks like I have to make my own

Lemme tackle picture number 2 first. Number one, what the HELL do you mean "normal mentally ill [woman]"?? There's no such thing. There's not even such a thing as normal non-mentally ill. Everyone is different and has different reactions and symptoms. and number two: where the fuck do you get off calling the author a sex pest for the "crime" of exploring her options in brothels (well, i guess maybe it is a crime, i forget how japan's laws are, but still. i better not hear you demanding more rights for sex workers while indirectly demeaning their jobs, ya nitwit)? Being gay (or even just non-conforming, and that's not even just about gender) in Japan, while not as bad as say, the Middle East, is not exactly a walk in the park. She probably at the time of writing didn't have many options, and everybody explores their sexuality in different ways. It's really messed up that you're calling the author a sex pest for describing her life, especially since she did nothing wrong (as in, her encounters were all consensual. again, don't fully know the laws regarding brothels there. i think it's a "we'll pretend we didn't see that" scenario)

This also kinda ties into the downright dangerous idea that an lgbt+ person, lesbians especially, can only be an innocent pure being. that kind of thinking can and HAS gotten people into horrible abuse scenarios

As for the "incest"... whoo boy, this is gonna be long:

Now, I have actually read this manga, and I can cite the pages with the supposed "incest" mentioned in the first pic. I'd elaborate, but I'm admittedly quite bad at that, so I'll let the comic speak for itself:

(forgive me if there's any errors in the alt text. it's late 😭)

As you can see, the author does not LITERALLY want to fuck her mother. She has childhood issues from not enough affection (elaborated elsewhere in the book, but I'm tired. read it yourself. i got these pages from a definitely legal website, so can you), and wants to be held and coddled. She even straight up says what she feels is abnormal and yearns for a woman NOT RELATED TO HER to do things with. She KNOWS what she feels is strange and wants to (and eventually DOES) grow from this. I could post more images, but i'm probably pushing my luck as is

Point is, you "adults" really, REALLY need to learn that depiction is not the same as endorsement. Not everything is as cut and dry as the Marquis de Sade. This is, as the damn title says, the author's experience with loneliness as a result of growing up with an emotionally distant mother in a society that is markedly different than America

please, PLEASE, learn to think critically, and i mean "critical" in a "english class analysis" kind of way (for lack of a better term), not a "this thing you like is bad and it offends me" "critical." It's alright to be uncomfortable with things and even to not like things, hell I myself am a HUGE hater, but please, don't throw a tantrum because a real person wasn't a smol bean like you hoped

holy shit i need to go to bed

Inexorable Love

Word Count: 1,139

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem! reader

After digging in his drawer for a couple of minutes Eddie finally found what he was looking for. A little case that had one piece of jewelry in it. He couldn’t stop smiling as he held it up to look at the beautiful piece.

“You really want to do that son?”

Eddie’s smile dialed down a bit at his uncle’s tone but his smile was still permanently on his face. He looked down at his grandmother’s ring proudly. She had gifted it to him before she passed and he promised he’d give it to the woman who had every inch of his heart as she had.

He didn’t have a lot of people in his life but the ones who were, he cherished. Even those little rascals in the Hellfire Club. He loved his group of freaks. Then there was you.

Someone he considered out of his league but talked to him anyways. He didn’t believe he had a stutter before but that seemed to change whenever he talked to you.

He never thought that he’d ever land a babe like you ever but he did. If someone had told him he’d be with you for four years he would’ve told them they were crazy. Now here he was with his grandmother’s ring in his hand planning to propose to the most perfect person in his eyes.

This was going to be his year. 

He was finally going to graduate and ask the woman he loved to marry him. He felt as if he was on top of the world.

“I’ve never been so sure about anything else in my life.” He responded back to his uncle whom he can still feel staring at him. He saw his uncle Wayne shake his head in his peripheral so he turned his head to look at him. “I know what I’m doing uncle. You don’t worry about me anymore.”

His uncle fiddled with his hands, sighing heavily.

“I’m always worried about you, Eddie.”

It was true, his uncle deeply cared about his nephew. Eddie was kind-hearted despite what people saw on the outside and like any other guardian, he wanted to protect him.

“Don’t be.”

“I just wanna make sure you’re making the right choice with this girl. She seems sweet but she comes from money.”

Eddie licked his bottom lip trying not to let his uncle’s words dissolve his happiness. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly how it sounds. I once dated a girl who came from money and as soon as things were gettin serious she dumped me for the next pretty boy in line. More suitable shall I say, to her status.”

His uncle tried to break it to him delicately but Eddie was taking offense to his words.

“She loves me and I love her,” Eddie spoke confidently, now clutching onto the ring.

“Sometimes it ain’t about love. It’s about how people see you. Does she ever bring you around her parents or her friends? Do you two go anywhere else besides here?”

Eddie swallowed thickly. “She’s not ashamed to be with me if that’s what you’re hinting at. Yeah, her parents may not have approved at first but they’re happy with the way I’ve treated her. How else do you think I was able to get my baby.” he spoke referencing to his most treasured guitar.

His uncle Wayne raised his hands. “I’m not trying to argue with you. I just want you to think about this for a moment. Your both still in high school and you’ve got no job. How are you going to get married under these circumstances? She’s the first and only girl you’ve ever brought home.”

“The first, the only, the last. There’ll be no one else. I’ve got something lined up and she has a summer job.”

Eddie was steal dealing on the side but he promised himself he’d stop and get a real job when you two marry. If he had to conform to society then so be it.

“What about that crush you had on that girl, uhm-Chrissy was it?”

Eddie raised his brows and scoffed out a laugh. “My crush in middle school? What about it?” He asked trying to understand his uncle’s point.

“All I’m sayin is that what if you’re rushing into things? You find yourself another girl but you’re already married. What if you and her grow apart? We’re men Eddie. We have urges and what we like now may not be of interest to us down the line.”

Eddie fiddled with the rings on his fingers. He squinted down at each one thinking real hard about how to find the words to express how he was feeling without getting upset.

“Uncle, I’m going to be straight with you, I’ve seriously thought about this in depth. I know you’ve never been in a healthy relationship before so you’re advice is not needed.” He looked up to look into his uncle’s eyes. “I’m sorry but it’s not. I’m going to marry her. I will love and cherish her for the rest of my life for as long as she’ll let me. I want us to change and grow because I know that through those changes we’ll be better, together.”

His uncle nodded his head now understanding that he wasn’t going to change his nephew’s mind. He didn’t want to stop Eddie but wanted him to be sure of his choices. He, himself wasn’t a father but raising Eddie had made him protective. Especially since Eddie had always been eccentric. He was more prone to insults around town and his interest in Dungeons and Dragons was frowned upon and deemed ‘satanic’ to those who had no clue what it was even about.

“Well then. It seems you’ve made up your mind.” His uncle stood up and walked towards Eddie and held out his hand to him. “I wish you and your woman the very best. I’ll always be here for you Eddie for whatever you need whenever you need it.”

Eddie stared at his uncle’s outstretched hand and pushed it away. His uncle took a step back, hurt at the notion but he didn’t see the emotion on Eddie’s face. Eddie’s eyes watered. He launched himself off of the couch and wrapped his arms around his uncle in a tight hug.

His uncle didn’t hesitate to reciprocate. He was proud of Eddie and the man he’s become. He didn’t seem to let anything deter him from the people and things he loves. That was his greatest attribute.

Eddie didn’t grow up with the best home life but his uncle tried his best to make amends for it. His uncle was his first believer while you were the second. He was beyond overwhelmed and ecstatic to have two wonderful people in his life that loved him unconditionally.

I WAS GONNA WAIT UNTIL AFTER WORK TODAY TO POST MY CHIPPED OFF ANALYSIS BUT i changed my mind…i kind of figured out how i want to word it

(apologies if there’s any typos 🙏)

first off all, i just wanted to say chipped off was SO good. I hyped it up so much i was so scared i would be disappointed but the team did not fail. definitely one of my favorite big city greens episodes ever (and not just because chip is there but its a big part :])

what i find so interesting in this episode is the main point itself: chip’s idea of becoming “normal.” it’s an interesting route to take, not just because he’s a villain but because of his character itself.

we learn chip’s ideal “normal” life consists of a regular, working-class joe, which is quite ironic considering what we’ve known of him thus far. It seems quite odd that the nepotism baby, never-worked-a-day-in-his-life, spoiled son of a business owner would want to live a regular working class life…but of course we learn that this life is not his own, merely an attempt to once again assimilate to a society that has ostricized him.

everything we see of chip’s daily life conflicts with the core values he’s held at heart. in the case of the coffee worker, he becomes increasingly suspicious the man is mocking him…chip’s entire image as a businessman relies on people liking him, and one of his main gripes with the residents of big city is feeling they betrayed him by turning against him. chip still yearns to be liked, loved even.

his office job is tedious, monotonous, and hes constantly being bombarded with extra work…to be completely transparent, we’ve only seen chip openly criticize physical labor (farmwork), but one could assume he finds any strenuous activity to be incredibly inconvenient…he lived a comfy, pampered life.

even his girlfriend who, going back to the point of chip wanting to be loved, he finds seems to like him at a service-level, not being genuine enough to tell him when a joke isn’t that funny or talk about his true feelings (although, the point of the “norm” persona is to blend in, so it makes sense he would be embarrassed over having a chip-esc freakout. also, of course, if your boyfriend randomly started rambling about attacking a kid, you would probably be freaked out too). he notes that everyone loves norm…but they don’t really. they love that norm is the ideal, the perfect average man…he feels lonely despite being so respected.

kind of office topic but my personal favorite detail (credits due to my sister for pointing it out to me) is how when he tinkers in the basement building furniture, we see he now knows how to use a hammer…sort of. he’s holding it the correct way this time, at least, something chip would never know how to do.

essentially, chip’s idea of normality is very–as his relationships with others in his “norm” persona are–surface level. he conforms because he believes it will bring him happiness, that not being someone who is dubbed a “social pariah,” who an entire city celebrated the supposed death of, who nobody cared about…even being a blank slate is better than that, or so he thought. but chip cannot reject himself, his egotistical vengeful self. by rejecting himself, he’s rejecting all that he is, and he finds he cannot truly be happy by attempting to assimilate.

thus, he lives a double life…wearing a mask on the open surface, and roaming freely in the darkened sewers…for no one can see his true nature within its darkness, but it still exists.

10 Things I Hate About You Review

★★★★★ - 5 stars

"But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all."

Katarina Stratford does not conform to everyone else's ideas of teenage normalcy: she doesn't wear things based on what's trendy, she likes indie rock music and feminist novels and most importantly, Katarina Stratford does not want to date. On the other hand, her sister, Bianca does want to date. After their father decides that Bianca can only date when Kat does, a boy named Cameron (who has a crush on Bianca) comes up with a plan to pay someone to date Kat.

I love the characters in this film so very much. Kat is a feminist icon who I've idolised ever since I first watched this masterpiece. Bianca annoyed me at first but the whole punching Joey in the face thing was very cathartic for me, so she increased her placement in my favourite character ranks. Patrick Verona is amazing, and all of the Kats in the world know that not falling for him is a very trying task. Cameron, on the other hand, is the complete opposite of Patrick and yet he's extremely sweet and endearing - a hopeless romantic at heart (and a definite James Potter variant for sure).

It is safe to say that generally speaking feminism and rom-coms do not go hand-in-hand skipping down a flowery hill (what with most rom-coms being Chick Flicks, a controversial genre in the eyes of feminists everywhere). However, 10 Things I Hate About You manages to meld together these two assumedly opposing topics into an amazing masterpiece. It discusses a horrible idea formulated within society - that idea being that a woman cannot be in a relationship with a man, whilst retaining her status as a feminist. The irony of it is that feminism is about equality and yet we put this boundary between men and women, both of whom can be classified as feminists, and say 'No, you cannot date and wish for equal rights.' That's what is so wonderful about 10 Things I Hate About You: Kat Stratford is a feminist icon in her own right (what with her love of Sylvia Plath and riot grrrl bands, and her blatant "Well I suppose being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time" comment) and yet she is also the star of a rom-com. She's a feminist who simultaneously "gets the guy".

Aside from the amazing characters and the amazing feminist representation of 10 Things, one of the best things about it is its music. Music plays such a big part in 10 Things, from it playing to represent the character's emotions to Kat wanting to start a band. The soundtrack overall is amazing, with riot-grrrl bands galore and Joan Jett as the queen of rock 'n' roll. Without a doubt my favourite musical moment of 10 Things is Heath Ledger singing "Can't Take My Eyes Off You"- it's one of the most romantic moments and an important part of Kat and Patrick's journey.

In case it could not be gathered from my prior statements, this modern, feminist adaptation of Shakespeare's Taming Of The Shrew is one of my favourite films of all time - on par with the likes of Dead Poet's Society and Clueless. It's wonderfully witty, romantic and heartwarming, and furiously feminist all in one - and if that does not convince you to watch it, then I don't really know what will.

It really does feel like the writers just kind of dont care about the world. When i first saw it, i was really interested in just how wild it was, a whole world based of hieronymous bosch? Cool.

But then they just contradict themselves, dont do anything with it or it just doesnt make sense? for example:

-In the first season the world is presented as this brutal, hostile place, where walking down the street can get you killed. Characters dont know what hugging or shaking hands is. The schools are brutal, teachers being downright vile at points. In season 2 they have a whole school dedicated to darwinian logic. But... later the teachers are suddenly nice, the world feels less hostile and they have therapists? what? in a place where you get thrown in prison for writing fanfiction?

-Some jokes are made that are 'haha get it cuz not human' but they make no sense. They have bard magic, walking guitars and bands, but when they have to look after luz, they suddenly think nightmare noises are a banger? Or how willow makes a '40s cartoon' joke, gus has a pb&j samwich, etc.

-Potion magic makes no sense. How is it a coven when you can do it WITHOUT magic. what happens when you get branded? do you just lose all magic? is it a pity coven for bad witches?

I feel on its own these things are nitpicky, but when they pile up it just feels like they were only thinking about making the place LOOK cool while having zero substance.

So you're correct that a lot of these are either nitpicks or just really lazy jokes on the part of the writers. In fact, the lazy, fish out of water jokes came back in S3 and make Amity just look like falling in love literally drained her brain out of her ears. However, that doesn't make them invalid, especially in a show with little worldbuilding. They pile up into making the whole thing feel like a construct.

Luckily, you don't have to go to nitpicks to point out that the writers didn't give a shit. Dana herself is one of the worst writers as far the worldbuilding goes. After all, she wrote Reaching Out.

She was the one who treated being a Wild Witch like choosing not to go to college.

She also co-wrote The First Day where, you know, they don't even acknowledge that multi-tracking is explicitly illegal in this society so why would an EC funded school EVER allow that?

There's SO MANY of these sorts of things peppered throughout the series that makes the ONE part of the world building we ever get, that is anything close to making this world actually unique besides implications, a straight up lie. It'd be like if Avatar made being able to multi-bend something you chose seven episodes in and suddenly slaughtered the entire point of the Avatar being special. It doesn't though because WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?

And there's no way to call this a nitpick. It's the hard basis for one of the main cast, even though Eda's status as a criminal is ALL OVER THE PLACE in S1, especially for people giving a shit about it. It's effectively the core of the villain's plot and the society they created. Any crack in the coven system becomes a crack in your main plot... And when it was first introduced, rather than nine, their were hundred, a fact that persisted into S2 when a character VOICED BY DANA talked about joining the Cute Cat Coven. You know, a coven theoretically not affected by the draining spell.

It's even important thematically. It is the oppression that Luz is supposed to fighting against. The way that self expression and being true to you is repressed is through the coven system and the laws surrounding it. Those need to actually function for those themes to feel like they have weight or they fall apart. It's part of why TOH struggles with thematic consistency because self expression doesn't feel like a core part of it when no one gives a fuck what you do. When there is no actual pressure to conform and hide yourself. At least, not for a story like this.

It's probably the biggest reason why when I hear people exclaim that TOH has great worldbuilding I just have to look at them funny. After all, none of this is even new or actually unique *gestures at Dystopian Fiction in general and D&D wizards school of magic* and it's told like shit. And for a story like this, your fantasy epic about sticking it to the man by showing how special you are, it NEEDED to be told better. It needed to have point.

But it never did and it just makes the writers look either like they didn't care or are just incompetent, let alone when the show director themselves is shooting their core concepts in the head.

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I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

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eddie munson is a hypocrite

btw eddie is NOT fully anti-conformity and eddie munson IS a hypocrite. the sheer irony of the ‘anti-conformity club’/hellfire club having matching t shirts is almost enough on its own but just look at how eddie mocks people who aren’t like him. he doesn’t just mock people who antagonize him, like the jocks, he mocks EVERYONE who isn’t like him or who doesn’t align with what he wants (such as dustin and mike when they ask to move the game which is a whole other post abt eddie trying to toughen them up because the real world is tough but in reality he is playing a role in creating that tough real world via the way he treats them/repeating the cycle of abuse in a way), eddie is NOT anti-conformity, especially not in the beginning: he just wants people to conform to HIM and HIS ideals and standards. he is not anti-rules, he wants people to play by HIS rules. he’s been outcast by society and now seeks to outcast others instead of trying to overthrow the outcasting overall.  eddie munson and ted wheeler are far more similar than either one of them would like to admit: both of them are conformity under the guise of nonconformity, both of them use a shield of the idea of nonconformity as a means through which they enforce their standards of conformity. ted does not present himself as pro-conformity, at least not fully. instead, he uses a guise of nonconformity, saying things like ‘if your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?’ as a way of enforcing his own standards of conformity. he doesn’t want mike to jump off the bridge because he’s following someone else- but he also doesn’t want mike to deviate from conforming to ted’s standards and ideals. eddie is the same. eddie talks about nonconformity and being a freak but then ostracizes and mocks people who are different from him. both eddie and ted want people to conform to THEIR rules and attempts to execute such a desire by through false ideas of nonconformity. they don’t want to undo systems of oppression, so to speak, THEY just want to be the oppressors, the ones in charge.  like it’s no coincidence that the hellfire club has such a specific hierarchy and dynamic: when we see the party (dustin lucas mike and will) playing dnd on their own, they DO have a dm, but there’s still a pretty equal power balance, and will and mike swap between DMing. but with eddie? he’s the dm but it goes beyond that, he uses his position as DM to exert power over other members even outside of the context of DND. like there’s a reason, narratively, why hellfire has such strict rules and why it’s not framed as an even balance the way that the party’s dnd sessions are (ie the whole party sits at the same square table whereas in hellfire eddie sits at the head of a long, uneven table. even though the party’s dms sit at the table, there’s no head of the table to sit at, they’re on equal footing) and why eddie treats it like an exclusive club when he first meets erica despite the fact that it’s supposedly supposed to be an anti-conformity club for outcasts: and the reason is because it’s not actually an anti-conformity club for outcasts, rather, it’s eddie’s attempt to exert his own form on conformity onto people. Mike has gone from conforming to Ted’s standards to conforming to Eddie’s in many ways. i think eddie is a great and fascinating character! but he’s also a hypocrite! which is frankly actually a large part of what fascinates me about him!