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noyasaur · 5 months

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hii!! i have a few shifting questions im a bit new lol

can you prove shifting is real? im trying to shift but i cant get over the fact that it might not be real and that im wasting my life yk?

do i have to script personalities or appearances to existing characters or will they jut be like they are in the show/game?

how can i be more motivated to shift?

sorry if this doesnt make sense! im a bit bad at english even though its my first language lol

anyways have a great day!!

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

hihi anon ! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ i hope you're doing well and welcome! i hope your journey is going well so far! and don't worry, your questions made perfect sense! and i also apologise for taking so long to answer your questions, i spent a lot of time trying to formulate the right answers for your questions so i hope i'm able to help 😭 and sorry for the super long answer!

anyway, let's answer your questions~

🪐 CAN YOU PROVE SHIFTING IS REAL?

honestly, this is a tricky one. i want to be very honest with you and i, in no way want to demotivate you at all! right now, the only way of 'proving' shifting (at least, to my knowledge) is through experiencing shifting ourselves, or trusting other shifter's word as proof of reality shifting. regarding scientific research and proof behind reality shifting, to my knowledge, there are no studies that directly investigate reality shifting. i also feel like reality shifting would already be incredibly difficult to prove already on top of the existence of infinite realities/potentials, thus leading to an extension of an infinite amount of different variables.

reality shifting is a very personal experience and one's journey and experience will differ from person to person. unfortunately, in the current state of our reality, reality shifting has not been scientifically proven.. yet.

reality shifting is on of those experiences where you just have to form your own beliefs on it, and trust yourself and others. i like to think of it this way. take our own consciousness for example- we are all conscious right now, correct? we all know we have consciousness. it's a known fact. however, very little is known about our own consciousness, it's origins and it's power. but we all know that we have a consciousness, and we can't prove it to anyone yet but ourselves.

people thought lucid dreaming wasn't real many years ago and now people recognise it as a legitimate practice. same with astral projection, and out of body experiences.

and i know shifting is real because i have experienced parallel reality shifts (some intentional and some unintentional) and mini-shifts myself.

however, not all hope is lost! are there studies and theories on infinite universes, parallel realities and the multiverse? yep! are there studies on consciousness, quantum mechanics and biophotons? yes! there are plenty of studies, theories, and concepts that can be linked together and used to scientifically determine how reality shifting is even possible in the first place. yes, it's one of those things that isn't believed or accepted by the general public, but it exists. we may not know exactly how and we can only theorise, but there are connections that can be made.

now, i completely understand your worries on how reality shifting might not be real. that's totally valid! especially speaking since we've been conditioned out whole lives to think otherwise. that we only have one shot at life and we have to work hard to get our desires, but know we now that's the opposite? we can live an infinite amount of lives and have an infinite amount of parallel realities? we are the creators of our own reality and we have the power to shape what we experience?

however, this is where you come in. i highly recommend that to reassure your worries, find these answers out for yourself. determine what exactly reality shifting is for you and find how it is possible, instead of worrying about what if it's not possible. i'm not a fan of overconsumption of shifting information, however i think it's good to do a deep dive on shifting every now and then to help you open your mind to question what reality shifting is and how it's possible. then, when you've formed your own beliefs on shifting, it's easier to validate your belief and trust in shifting since you've discovered yourself how it's possible and what it is to you! that way, you won't need to worry about any external shaking your beliefs or making you worry about whether shifting is real or not because YOU have personally worked out how it's possible for you.

explore and read about other people's experiences, beliefs and theories on shifting. read scientific papers on concepts relating to shifting such as The Many Worlds Theory, multiverses, and parallel realities. read about the Law of Assumption and consciousness. read shifting success stories! just anything that relates to shifting. and don't worry, at the end of this post, i'll link some helpful resources at the end that have helped me explore deeper into how reality shifting is possible!

and if you're worried about wasting your life away on reality shifting, something that could help is to normalise reality shifting. what i mean by that is see reality shifting as something that is an everyday casual thing (which it is). think of it as a hobby, and not something you don't need to be heavily obsessed over. become content with the fact that, "oh, there's this super cool thing i can do! i can shift realities, i'll try it. oh, i didn't shift, that's okay i'll try again next time. oh, i shifted? cool!"

remember that reality shifting and your desired realities all exist in the now regardless, and they aren't going anywhere. reality shifting is not something super unattainable. i understand where you're worries are coming from and they are 100% valid.

🪐 DO I HAVE TO SCRIPT CHARACTER'S PERSONALITIES OR APPEARANCES, OR WILL THEY JUST BE LIKE HOW THEY ARE IN THE GAME/SHOW?

now, you don't have to script character's entire personalities and appearances (if you don't want to!). you can, but it's also not necessary. it's entirely up to you :)

with scripting, you don't have to script everything down to the tee. you aren't specifically creating any reality out of thin air, more like visually and physically specifying your intentions of what reality you want to shift to/experience. in fact, some people don't even have scripts!

scripting essentially has no power. scripting is just a physical, visual outline of the desired reality where you intend to shift to. to sort out your thoughts and intentions. your subconscious mind already holds everything in that script and whatever else you intend to experience. your subconscious knows what you want and it'll fill in all the gaps for you, so don't stress!

there is no requirement or criteria for how much, or how little you need to script. you can script as little as you like, or as much as you like! thus, if you don't script anything about a character's personality or appearance, but you intend for them to act like how they would in their respective game/show, then they will act how you expect them to. you can even add that in your script if you want as well: "this character will have the same personality/appearance as they do in ___." it's all up to your assumptions and intentions.

however, if you feel like you want to script their appearance or personality, then go for it! do whatever makes you feel best and most comfortable.

🪐 HOW CAN I BE MORE MOTIVATED TO SHIFT?

oh gosh, there are so many different ways to help keep you motivated to shift! i'll try not to ramble :)

honestly, just thinking about the concept of reality shifting and the possibilities can be motivating enough. like how there are infinite realities and infinite possibilities? you can literally experience anything and be anyone you want to be.

you can consume any kind of content relating to your desired reality, watch videos, create pinterest boards (e.g. your outfits in your dr, dr locations, etc.), write letters to people in your desired reality, or think/make a list of things you're excited to experience in your desired reality.

or even just think about your desired reality and get yourself excited! what are you excited to experience? who are you excited to meet? what are you scared about? where do you want to visit? things like that.

however, while i am a big advocate for being able to seek motivation from yourself, it's also good to watch videos and read about other people's shifting experiences to motivate yourself! find other people who have the same/similar desired realities as you, or read shifting stories.

however, it's good to learn how to motivate yourself and not rely on other's so much for validation on shifting, it's existence and motivation. however, it doesn't hurt to consume shifting stories and tips from shifters too, just don't rely too much on it as your main source of validation/motivation.

additionally, it's completely okay to feel demotivated with shifting. it's okay to be drained. and it's also okay to take breaks when you need it. stay at your own pace and don't rush yourself into anything. you don't need to be trying to shift every single day of the year if you don't feel like it. reality shifting isn't going anywhere and your desired realities are always going to exist. so please don't stress and don't feel like you need to rush! you can always shift to your desired reality whenever you want, and however you want!

alright, i hope i answered your questions well and i hope this helped! and i apologise if i rambled a little bit, i just had so much to say (especially for the first question dhjkds).

have an amazing day and good luck on your shifting journey! you got this! ʚɞ ⁺˖

- saturn ♡

🪐 HELPFUL RESOURCES! (these are just some that have helped me!)

REALITYSHIFTING101 - i found this user through amino and their posts have been so, so informative in the in-depth science behind reality shifting and how it's possible. honestly one of the only shifters i've seen who's done such an in-depth analysis on reality shifting and the objective science behind it.

blog: https://realityshifting.medium.com/ amino: https://aminoapps.com/c/desired/page/user/realityshifting101/5w64_MWUYf81pj0qoYwJY00P5JdG5ZxmQHY ULTIMATE RESOURCE: Total Shifting Science (amino): https://aminoapps.com/c/desired/page/blog/ultimate-resource-total-shifting-science/xLkq_62t2u6DWEXn3x55w5rgL5z5vZkKmm

LOVE - an amino user who's been shifting for quite some time and visited many different realities. provided some very interesting information and perspectives on the reality shifting, the multiverse, other realities, and some interesting terminology and concepts.

amino profile: https://aminoapps.com/c/desired/page/user/nill-l/vPMG_2qu2f6eoEGbvBBwwP7kK2Y1qepw32sX

OTHER RESOURCES - here is are some other uncategorised links of good shifting resources!

reddit post (shifting + other shifting related resources): https://www.reddit.com/r/shiftingrealities/comments/ow7n7y/recommended_reliable_resources/ yennieshifts shifting carrd: https://yennieshifts.carrd.co/https://yennieshifts.carrd.co/

#shiftblr #shifting #reality shifting #desired reality #shifting realities #reality shifter #shifting blog #desired realities #noyasaur #shifting community #visualisation #ask saturn💌#🪐 ― saturn's shifting advice!

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everybodyloveshippos · 11 months

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What has been your favorite moment of your current dnd campaign?

Ahhh okay this is def very hard to answer since this campaign started like,,, march 2020 (in person for a bit, then online, thankfully back to in person now) SO....LONG WINDED POST AHEAD,,,

So we’ve been at it for a while! And things get pushed to the back of my mind or are in my notebook somewhere-BUT we did start a discord channel called ‘that one time when’ where we put memorable moments. So I will do my best to list my top three since i could never sift thru this entire crazy adventure and pick just one <3

The first time Valentine cast revivify! We had just levelled up, I had just learned the spell, and I had just bought diamonds prior to us going to the Cassalanter ball (kinda spoilers for dragonheist ahead). So some cult nonsense starts goin down in the basement, we jump in (to the soundtrack of ballroom blitz) and we’re holding our own, kicking ass, but then victorio casts power word kill to instantly kill Hawkwood (artificer half-elf) and it was our first PC death and we were kinda freaking out.

It was a big character moment for a lot of our party bcus it was one of the highest stake things that had happened thus far. Lucien ripped out victorios throat (lucien is a drow werewolf) despite his hesitation over it (past trauma with being used as a weapon and monster) and valentine realized that ‘holy shit. I care about these people more than I care to admit. What a scary thought.” and then flew over to revive him. The imagery was just very cool and pretty to imagine, with high arches and valentine’s aasimar wings and eyes glowing white gold, holding hawkwood to them as the diamond shatters and the pieces rise in the air and he wakes up! I actually drew this a long time ago here

Another moment that had us losing our MINDS (one of us literally) was we were facing down Yandathul, a mindflayer (i think he’s an Ulitharid) who 3 party members have personal beef with (he experimented on our drow twins, disguised as a drow himself) (he ate nick’s uncle’s brain in front of him. Nick is a Githyanki. He has beef w mindflayers on sight anyways) Also we’d just found the corpse of a Draegloth, another experiment and our ally at the time that he had killed.

So basically we were fighting this guy, and he fuckin….Subdues nick and then eats gothi’s (our dwarf paladin, a newer addition to the party) brain in front of him. Then he casts planeshift, and as we’re all about to get sent to fuckin WHO knows where, we could all land anywhere, not even together, nick-you know how you need to hit the right tune/frequency to travel to a different plane in dnd or something?-Well he screams for us all to grab his hands as planeshft is cast and he screams out the note that’s gonna make sure we all go TOGETHER AT LEAST to the astral sea, where he’s from It was just so intense and insane and emotional bcus nick was doing a scream of fury and grief and frustration but also doing bard stuff to keep us all safe. And it came after a PC death, and we rlly all almost got yeeted to separate corners of the universe. So we all just. Floated in the astral sea for a bit. With a corpse Valentine (my pc, cleric) couldnt revivify bcus his brain got eaten. I think it was our wildest moment. It stands out a lot because we lost. weirdly enough, the final countdown is a song that syncs up w this moment super well.

God anon im sorry to wax poetic theres soooo much more and obvi im biased to valentine’s moments but genuinely, i think my favourite moment was:

Nick slapping his abusive and terrible father on the deck of their warship in front of his crew. I gasped Out Loud in person it was So good i was shocked. It slapped. And so did nick. Lol

#asks #THIS IS LONG SRRY ITS A LOOOONG CAMPAIGN AND WE GO HARD W THEMES AND CHARACTER STUFF LOL #dnd #dungeons and dragons

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cavernsofdarkness · 1 year

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OMG I WAS THINKING! Ghost sims would make really good holograms …that sound creepy… but anyways especially the blue one. Also what do you think cyberpunk school would look like… sorry I’ve been searching on Pinterest and can’t find anything. Im at a tie with college like sermon with holograms, some where they’re hooked into vr headsets or computers, and just… there is no school. Idk what your thoughts?

(Sending Love … 98% Complete)

I love when people come to my inbox and posit things like this! I have a lot to say, lol.

As a baseline definition, cyberpunk as a genre is a near-future dystopia, defined by the domination of megacorporations, technology and the escalation of class stratification and its ramifications. So, I think there definitely is school and higher education.

Everything below is based heavily on the workings of US school systems.

There is general education through the high school level provided by the district/city but, much like in our own world, the quality of this education is dependent on the wealth of the district. The schools in poorer districts have less funding, and thus less access to technology and different specialties and extracurriculars for study. I imagine that, if you're lucky, there might have been a wealthy benefactor that decided to be generous and fund the operation of the cyberpunk equivalent of a charter school in your district.

The best schools are going to be corporation-owned or private institutions. These are private schools with all of the best amenities and access to the latest technology. Even amongst these schools there's a hierarchy, with the tuition costs reflecting the level of prestige. In Cyberpunk 2077, corporate workers get access to the corporation's healthcare plan; I imagine that getting discounted tuition for your child to the corporation's school is also one of the benefits, thus incentivizing people to join the megacorp machine (like in the US, how a lot of people join the military because they promise to cover the cost of your schooling).

On to higher education. College/university is astronomically expensive (and that's saying a lot considering how expensive it already is *cries in American with student loan debt*). Only the ultra rich, or those with connections can afford it. If you're not in one of the aforementioned categories, the amount of debt you would incur trying to finance education is a life sentence. For reference, there's an ad in Cyberpunk 2077 offering a loan with a 31.1% interest rate (can you imagine!?) and obviously, poorer people with bad or no credit are going to be subjected to the higher rates.

Now, about your ideas on the different manifestations of school, my answer is 'all of the above'! Dictated by funding, a school/business probably employs a mix of all of those methods. Imagine a guest lecturer joining via holo (in-person/physical classes probably cost more), or a netrunning class where they get to experience the net without the risk via a VR simulation. This applies not only to traditional academia, but other skill classes as well (martial arts, pottery, aerial silks, you name it!); just like in our reality, you can take singular classes in whatever you want, for a price.

As a result of everything previously mentioned, I think the majority of people in a cyberpunk reality make it through basic schooling and then engage in nontraditional/nonstandard methods of education. I imagine that some people may find someone who can train them in their desired trade/skill, and a lot of the hackers/netrunners, techies etc. are self-taught. In this vein, just like currently in our world we have access to lots of tutorials via youtube and websites like skillshare etc., the popularity of this has probably only grown and I imagine that training braindances/simulations are commonplace, both in and out of the workplace.

The one time I did a hologram (of a person) I just used a regular sim and edited them in post to get that holo effect. I haven't messed around much with ghost sims; I'm curious about how the ghost sim form would interact with lighting and such. Maybe next time I do a hologram I'll try it and see if I like it. It might save some time if all I have to add are the scanlines, lol.

#Can you tell I like sociology/anthropology lol #cod talks #cyberpunk

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interstellarflowers · 3 years

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Professor Parker Ch. 1| Professor, Peter Parker x Student, Reader

a/n this fic doesn’t follow the marvel cinematic universe but assume that peter has been what he’s been through with the exception that tony lived, and bruce is still bruce, sorry but i just can't deal with endgame hulk/bruce rn emotionally or mentally. im sorry nat is still dead but dw i'll actually treat it with respect unlike endgame like goddamn where was her funeral, am i right? the stages of grief thing they did was interesting though. im sorry i digress, this is set in nyc (because heyo im a new yorka) and the avengers/stark tower is still a thing, peter is fucking traumatized and has turned kind of cold as a result. this fic may contain a smut chapter in the future? not sure yet, where this fic goes depends on the feedback, thanks for reading also sorry im not the proudest of this first chapter so ill probably edit it but promise itll only improve from here just not in the best mental state rn

University life wasn’t exactly everything that you imagined it to be. There was hardly time to do anything that people claimed was good about coming to university. The parties, the epic heartbreaks, and romances, they were just nowhere to be seen. In fact, there was nothing particularly extravagant about your experience thus far. You went to class, studied, and went to your internship. Your internship was probably the most exciting thing about your life at the moment, you were lucky to be accepted into the Stark Industries student internship, the company paid college tuition and only required around twenty hours of lab work a week, you couldn’t complain. Of course, the exciting part of the whole ordeal was the name attached to it, “Stark,” not that you had ever met him, but it was nice to have a unique feature like that in such an impressive student body.

So here you were on the first day of your third year of university. You lived off-campus, about a five-minute walk from the Stark Tower, but a twenty-minute subway ride to your campus. However, having an 882 square foot space to yourself was really nothing you could truly complain about despite the distance. The studio apartment being yet another benefit reaped from Stark Industries. Thank you Tony Stark, the unseen benevolent God in your life.

Typically you would start your mornings off quietly and in no rush, a shower, a cup of coffee, maybe some studying before heading off to your campus, but your phone had other plans for you today. Instead of your alarm going off like it was supposed to, you were woken up by the sound of a particularly loud car horn, and oh how grateful you were for that. As soon as you were jolted awake you shifted to grab your phone and turned it over to see an alarming 8:40am glaring back at you.

Holy shit. You were late.

You scrambled out of bed nearly face planting several times in your hurry to get dressed and only barely ran out the door with everything you needed at 8:47am.

By the time you managed to get to the subway and clamor onto the right train it was already 8:55am. Out of breath and panicking, you considered your options. You could explain after class, you could shoot an email, there were a plethora of things you could do but none of them seemed to justify being late as a third-year to a level 500 class. You had googled all of your professors while registering for classes as was common practice. You couldn’t find a RateMyProfessor on Professor...Parker? You were pretty sure it was Professor Parker, but you do remember seeing on the STEM department page that he was currently a Ph.D. student, so you could only hope that as a fellow student he would be at least a little understanding towards your lateness.

You stood outside of the lecture hall huffing and trying to catch your breath at 9:32am, psyching yourself up, you pushed open the door to the class and attempted to go unnoticed. The class was in a lecture hall despite being only composed of around thirty students, so if you were lucky maybe nobody would even see-

“Ms.(y/l/n), I presume?.” Shit.

“Professor Parker?” Shit.

“You are aware that class starts at 9am, and not 9:30am, would this be correct Ms.(y/l/n)?”

“Yes, Professor, it’s just that I had an emergency.” The lying route. Not exactly the highlight of your academic career.

“I regret to inform you that I only take valid excuses Ms.(y/l/n), please take a seat, and next time, don’t bother disrupting class halfway through the lesson.” Fuck. You mustered a quiet “ok,” and a small nod before escorting yourself to the back of the room, thirty-something eyes following you until you sat down.

You couldn’t focus for the rest of the class, it was just too embarrassing, time moved forward but you couldn’t help but be stuck on what had just happened. For the first ten minutes after sitting down you felt like dropping out of the whole class out of sheer fucking humiliation. This was of course before you reminded yourself that this class was a requirement to graduate in your field of study. You quietly bargained with yourself before sighing quietly and settling on the conclusion that Professor Parker was just a dick. A dick who certainly didn’t deserve the satisfaction of you switching out of his class. If he wanted to be like that, you decided, you would simply return the favor.

“I know, Ms.(y/ln), why don’t you tell us DeBroglie’s equation?”

“With pleasure, Professor Parker.” Yeah, you’d return the favor alright.

“Ms.(y/l/n), you stay.” Fuck that. You looked the other way and feigned ignorance as you kept making your way towards the door. About to leave, the door shut on your face.

“What the fuck!” You jumped before turning around and you felt your face heat up.

“Ms.(y/l/n), please refrain from using profanities in my classroom.”

“I’m sorry Professor Parker. I was just startled.”

“Mhm,” he took his glasses off and laid them on his desk, “Just don’t do it in the future Ms.(y/l/n).”

“Of course. My name is (y/n), by the way, Professor Parker, you can just call me that, actually, I prefer that people refer to me by (y/n).”

“Rest assured, I’m aware of your name, Ms.(y/l/n). My name is Peter, but you can continue to call me Professor Parker.” You could have sworn that you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips. He knew what he was fucking doing, asshole. You held back from rolling your eyes into the back of your head.

“Of course, Professor Parker.”

“As you know, Ms.(y/l/n), I did request that you stay after class.”

“Oh? I sincerely apologize Professor Parker, I really didn’t hear you.”

“I’m sure, Ms.(y/l/n).” Fucking. Dick.

“Well, what exactly did you want Professor Parker? I do have another class soon.” Professor Parker narrowed his eyes at you in obvious distaste before reaching behind himself into a bin underneath his desk and pulling out a stack of papers,

“These are the handouts you missed from the beginning of the class. Textbook requirements, syllabus...Crucial information to have if you care to succeed in my class Ms.(y/l/n).” So coldly, so maliciously, Professor Parker placed the stack into your arms.

“I take my work very seriously, Ms.(y/l/n), I do my part as your professor so I only have the simple request that my students do the same.” You nodded feeling your face heat up again.

“Of course, Professor Parker, it won’t happen again,” you said with a tightlipped smile.

“Mhm,” Professor Parker turned around and began shuffling around some paper and without giving you a second glance said, “You are dismissed.” You nodded and hurriedly made your way out of his classroom. Of course, you had lied. You didn’t have another class until late in the afternoon. So you called your coworker instead,

“Hey, Harvey.”

“(y/n).”

“Wow, okay, don’t get too excited.”

“Sorry, just woke up.”

“Tsk, the early bird gets the worm, Harvey.”

“I don’t want a worm.”

“Fuck you. I’m headed to the lab, can I expect you?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You had been working with Harvey for around four years now, he was quite the impressive specimen, having attended MIT and graduating Summa Cum Laude at age 20 was no easy feat, he was closer to Tony Stark than you would ever get, he was quite personable, and you couldn’t deny that he was quite good looking. You’d never tell him that though, he didn’t need another ego boost. Besides, you had some connections of your own.

“Hey, (y/n).”

“Banner!”

“Can we expect Harvey today?”

“Honestly, not sure.” You both knowingly smiled at each other before you made your way over to what he was working on,

“Do you ever get bored here?”

“With you and the other idiot always running around? How could I?” You laughed,

“No, seriously, like wouldn’t you rather be doing nerd shit with Tony or something? Isn’t it a little tiresome babysitting us?”

“Tiring? Maybe sometimes, but not nearly as tiring as doing ‘nerd shit’ with Tony. He’s exhausting,” Bruce smiled at his own joke, “I don’t mind playing babysitter at all kid.” He fiddled with the handle of a mug that read, “Don’t be so Na Cl,” which you had gotten him a year back as a joke, but he still used it.

You really loved Bruce for all he was. Since losing your family back in 2012 during the battle in NYC, you didn’t really have any familial figures. But since landing this internship you found yourself with a parental figure again, and you would never be able to put into words how much it meant to you, so you didn’t. Besides, you didn’t want him to feel pressured about it, especially after everything he had been through himself. Frying half your body and losing the love of your life in such a short span of time was really nothing less than horrifying. Yet, here he was, smiling, laughing...You loved him for it.

“First day of junior year? How was that?”

“Shit.”

“Huh?” Bruce stopped tinkering with the device in his hands and looked over at you, “I’ve never heard of a course being too hard for (y/n) (y/l/n), what is it? Aerospace? Quantum?”

“No, just one giant dick.”

“Pardon-”

“My professor, he’s a fucking asshole.”

“Ah, I see. If he’s really harassing you (y/n), I don’t mean to overstep, I really think we should alert administration, what’s his name?” Bruce took a sip of his coffee.

“Professor Parker,” Bruce choked on his coffee, “Oh my God, Bruce, are you okay?”

“Yeah-” he said, still coughing, “Just a little too strong.”

“Okay, are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bruce caught his breath, “What did he do kid?”

“He’s just a dick that’s all.”

“You sure you don’t want me to do something about it?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, I don’t know what you could do anyways. Thank you though.”

“Actually, you’d be surprised.”

Sitting at your desk stressing over school work at 3am, it was nothing out of the ordinary for you. Everything appeared ordinary. The ordinary cup of tea, the familiar glow of your computer, and a morning chill creeping through your window. It was all so breathtakingly normal until there was a rap on your window. You took an earbud out of your ear, certain you were just hearing things, you looked to your window. Holy shit.

You opened your window wide so that he could crawl in.

“(y/n)?”

“Mr.Spiderman.” Still too in shock to fully process the situation you started to take in the scene in front of you,

“Please, it’s just Spiderman.”

“Oh-Oh my God, what happened?” Head to toe the suit seemed to have blood seeping through, tears in the body of the suit revealed gashes and a bullet wound.

“Bad guys. I know this guy-said he knew a medical student close by, you are (y/n)? Right?”

“Y-Yeah, but I’m really just a student, I’m not really a prof-”

“This guy, he said you might as well be.”

“I don’t know Mr.Spiderman, really, maybe I could take you to the hospital though.”

“-Spiderman, it’s just Spiderman, listen, (y/n), you know I can’t go to a hospital, it would ruin this whole secret identity thing I got going on here, and this guy, he’s probably the smartest guy I know, so if he says you can handle it, you can.” You swallowed and nodded,

“Yeah-” you wring your hands together, “Yeah-Sorry, let me go get my first aid kit.”

#tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #tom holland #spiderman #spiderman x reader #marvel #marvel x reader #bruce banner #tony stark #iron man #idk #sorry #ill prolly rewrite this seven times

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ectonurites · 3 years

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so i read the big long young just us kon vs yja conner post. (amazing analysis btw) but i have another question about your thoughts on superboy as a character. So in the dc animated universe (that's over now but whatever) there's the Reign of the Supermen movie, and in that one Kon learns that Lex is his dad very very very early on. And since you said that you think Conner learning about Lex early was the biggest thing that changed it, I was wondering if you have thoughts on DCAU Superboy?

awh thank you! i am so pleasantly surprised people actually read that

[link if u are only seeing this post and want to read the other one]

BUT AH YES THAT BOI i very nearly included a section on this version of him in the other post but decided not to just because it was. already nearly 6k words. however im glad you asked this because I DO have thoughts on him (sorry no pictures this time just words):

My ultimate thought regarding him is: the Reign of the Supermen movie managed to create a Superboy that the Lex reveal wasn’t anywhere near as big a deal for, compared to his other versions. Which I personally think was really cool to see!

This reveal having a smaller impact allowed him to maintain what was basically his 90′s comic characterization even after it, instead of going deep into broody tt 2003 territory or being anything like cartoon yj Conner.

Though, that now raises the question of why it has such a lesser impact

In this setting, he already had an association with Luthor from basically the moment he’s in the movie. Here, he is LexCorp’s Superman, rather than him partnering with Tana’s news station like in the comic (because they chose to understandably omit Tana. Also, trying to adapt the actual role Lex had in the comic version of this whole event would be a mess especially because this was during that era where Lex had like... faked his death, was pretending to be his own illegitimate son, had long hair, and was dating Supergirl? it was very weird, and understandably a movie adaptation wouldn’t wanna touch any of that with a 10ft pole. In general the Reign of the Supemen movie changed SO MUCH from the original comic, but I think did a pretty good job of integrating a lot of the spirit of the story into something new. I haven’t rewatched it since reading the comic though, so I might be looking through memory-fogged rose-tinted glasses, but I plan on doing so soon and will prob talk about it).

Anyways, even before the actual reveal that Lex was also one of his DNA dads, Lex is out here acting like he’s Conner’s stage dad and... is literally in charge of him. Thus, even though obviously Lex still isn’t a great guy in this universe, it has nowhere near the same impact as finding out ‘renowned supervillain, that I have seen heroes go up against time and time again, is my dad!’ It’s more like finding out ‘oh my weird controlling boss is actually my dad?’ Still weird, still a lot to deal with, and he still gets sulky for a bit after finding out, but it’s way less drastic.

Not sure if I’m going to be able to articulate this next point well, but there’s another thing I think that kinda factors into it too. In my other post I had talked specifically about how not only the timing of finding this out was relevant, but also how the level of confidence Kon had in who he was as a person at the time mattered.

In the comics, when Superboy found out, he had been very confident in himself and been an established hero for years and thus learning this new information made him (to some extent at least) feel like his whole life had been a lie, and he now felt he was a danger because of how evil Lex is known to be. [Also of note: not only was he worried about hurting his team, but this happened after the point where he’d started living with the Kents. He had a lot of anxiety around thinking Clark wouldn’t trust him to live with his parents if he knew, and fear that he might hurt them.]

In the Young Justice cartoon, when Superboy found out, he had confidence in his abilities as I said before, but he still didn’t really know who he was. He still never got to experience trying to be Superman like he had expressed always wanting to, because he was brought into a world that already had a Superman. So this revelation is just adding onto a pile of confusion. [And I believe (I haven’t watched season one of yj in a while so this might not be correct) that at the point he finds out, Lex was already a known adversary of heroes & The Team themselves. So the fact that someone they were actively going up against had a connection to him (and was manipulating him through the patches) was a point of concern.]

Then we look at movie Superboy. He’s cocky and pretty confident in himself and his abilities, and was getting to shoot his shot at filling that Superman role right away, just like his comic counterpart. But he doesn’t go years believing a lie about himself, since he finds out about the Luthor connection so early. At the time of the reveal he also doesn’t have the same connections to other people (either the Teen Titans & The Kents like the comics or The Team in the cartoon), meaning he’s not going to angst over being a potential danger to all of them.

Also... he finds it out while he’s still actively working under Lex. In the comics, he finds out from an email he and Tim get while they’re at Titans Tower. In the cartoon Lex baits him to meet somewhere alone to tell him, before demonstrating he has a code word that effects him. In the movie, Lex brings him down to the very lab he was cloned in while lecturing him, because he works for Lex, and the reveal happens because of one of the scientists. It’s just such a wildly different circumstance for the reveal to happen under, because movie Superboy doesn’t see Lex through the same “only exists to me as a villain” lens his comic & cartoon counterparts do.... he’s basically just his overbearing boss at the time.

Like yes this is where the seams start to unravel, because Superboy then realizes ‘oh god Lex was bringing me down there to kill me then just decided against it’, but he’s going through an entirely different struggle with that than what his other counterparts had going on. Also by having this reveal happen in the middle of the movie like, before the final battle and everything, he doesn’t really have time to dwell on all of this. He’s gotta go stop Cyborg Superman with the others he doesn’t have time to go ‘angst angst angst’ about it for long!!

This also means that by the time he met Superman, Superboy already knew about the Lex connection. In both the comics and the yj cartoon, Clark and Conner met and knew each other (not necessarily in a close way in the yj cartoon BUT regardless) before Conner found this out. Meaning it was something that he kept a secret from Clark for a period of time, as it ate away at him. But here, since he finds out before Clark is even active and alive again, it’s not something he ever needs to hide! Like he deadass tells Lois about it the first time he sees her after he found out.

SO to summarize, the Lex reveal is way less drastic for this version of Conner because:

Superboy and Lex had a completely different dynamic at the time of the reveal than any other versions

Superboy in this setting didn’t have as many connections to others/wasn’t on a team at the time he found out, meaning there were less people he’d be concerned about putting in danger

Superboy never felt the need to keep this a secret from anyone for any extended period of time

Honestly I would have loved to see more things with this Superboy because it puts him in this unique position of having already faced this big challenge (dealing with Lex being a DNA dad) but not letting it bring him too deep into the angst, he’s not hiding it from anyone, he can just kinda... exist as himself! But noooo Apokolips War had to. Do that. that whole thing.

#conner kent #superboy #Anonymous #sam writes

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chatonyant · 4 years

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im just so sad about this funky crow ninja

Listen

Itachi is just

Such a tragic character and it makes me so sad

Like he's a pacifist at heart but he was forced to be the literal opposite at such a young age and I'm just so sAD ABOUT IT

(Under cut cause it’s long and it’s about the uchiha massacre if yall would rather not read bout that But it also has some soft ideas down at the way bottom if yall wanna just speed scroll to the bottom)

How he came to the choice he made regarding the Uchiha massacre totally makes sense to me. It wasn't a good decision, it wasn't a decision best suited for the situation, but it made sense. And it gets worse once you realize that he was 13. Thirteen. No wonder he couldn't find/use a third option. He's still a child, even in this world of child soldiers. He bloodied his hands and wore a mask so that the home he loved and the brother he adored could be safe.

I wish his story could've been written... better, for a lack of proper words. Maybe that is the right word. But I want to see him do more for Konoha. He became a missing nin for Konoha to spy on Akatsuki/Madara but we don't see the results of that. What information does Konoha get from him? Because we know that he's still loyal to Konoha after all this time. Did he do anything to slow Akatsuki down? Did he do things to benefit Konoha or stop something from badly impacting it? What did he do?

And then he dIES AND HE JUST DOESNT GET A BREAK AND IM HHHHH :((((((

And he was sick and going blind too!!!! I swear he was the universe's punching bag (though one of many cause the naruto universe just Be Like That)

Fuck ok I came on here to ramble about Itachi in my au but then got sad sO AU TIME NOW

For one I want to make him.... more sympathetic? A redemption works best when its shown from the start that there is more than meets the eye. Like Zuko, for example. He was a jerk, but there are moments where it's clear that he's not as much of a jerk as he could have been. And I wanted to do something similar with Itachi (and a couple other villains tbh but it's also a matter of "Should you survive" coughObitocough I love you but idk if you survive in this au or not but I have ideas nonetheless but that is for a later time)

Anyways, morally grey but more clearly Itachi

Honestly I've got more ideas for his ending than the beginning. Which is... very annoying. This is unfortunately the case for many... many of my ideas....

An idea I've been juggling with is Itachi not killing everyone. He definitely kills everyone who's activated their sharingan and anyone who is/was a shinobi. So everyone who's not a civilian. So,,, the survivors are very very little and are civilian mothers and civilian children too young to even attend the academy and like the occasional shop owners. The massacre was to stop the coup and prevent it from ever happening, so those who have the power to set forward this coup are any shinobi. And unfortunately, the Uchiha clan is an old shinobi clan.

Itachi is not a blank mask and does cry when he kills his parents and they leave their parting words. He's 13, forced to commit a crime that goes against his every wish, moral, and beliefs. Plus I believe the Uchiha are naturally every emotional- or at least feels it more intensely than others. Their whole defining ability has to do with emotions. They feel Very Strongly.

And thus by "cry" I mean he cries a lot. He almost has a breakdown right then and there when little baby Sasuke crashes in and see his crying older brother holding a bloody blade over his two very dead parents.

For someone willing(ish) to murder a(lmost) a whole clan for the sake of his little brother, Itachi sure does directly hurt Sasuke a lot. Like genjutsu torture? Placing responsibility of avenging a whole clan on his tiny, angry shoulders? Oof, Itachi, bad ideas.

So Itachi wants Sasuke to be safe. To be happy to the best of his ability. So instead, he uses a milder form of Tsukuyomi to place a suggestion in his baby mind that Itachi was in fact a cold hearted murderer. But the human mind is a strange thing that is difficult to understand, so for years Sasuke has nightmares of that night with his perception of Itachi varying wildly between a stone cold face and a tear-stained one.

Itachi doesn’t do the whole “hate me and kill me for vengeance” because, again, he wants Sasuke to be safe and happy. Considering that he lives in a shinobi village and just had a highly traumatic experience, both are hard to come by, but the least Itachi can do is not have Sasuke’s whole life be overcome by hatred. Curse of Hatred is a very real thing, Itachi. I know you want Sasuke to have a goal to drive him forward and not waste away but bad idea Itachi. Maybe he says something else. Maybe he tells Sasuke to get stronger (but not in a “so you can get revenge” kind of way). I don’t know. But he doesn’t quite plant the idea of vengeance in his mind, so Sasuke’s motivation and drive ends up differently. Butterfly effects oho Also since Sasuke unlocked his sharingan during the massacre... is it possible to activate mangekyo as well? Cause he loves Itachi most, yes, but he also loved his parents, his mom especially. Would that be enough? Wiki says “death of someone close to the user”, so it’s possible, I think.

So many ideas about the massacre holy shit

Like Shisui. I’d totally love to make him live but frankly, I’ve got no idea how. :”D sorry Shisui, you’ll have to stay dead until I can find a solid reasoning as to how you survived and why

As for Madara/Tobi, well in anime he went after the Police headquarters while Itachi went after everyone else so there’s that, not much to change there

Then there’s a whole bunch of aftermath hijinks

Itachi is said to have aided Konoha within Akatsuki, but it’s not very clearly shown. Considering how we aren’t shown what exactly he passed on, that will be uh.... perhaps expanded on later.

Sasuke and Itachi interactions before Shippuden would be different due to Sasuke’s own differences, but those differences haven’t be set yet so that will be explained later.

Ok, now the whole Itachi dying and being reincarnated shebang. Fourth War sure is wild as fuck. “Let’s mass reincarnate people!” what.

I don’t want Itachi to die. I want to let him rest. But not in death.

So the general idea I have for the “end” of the story is:

He becomes legally blind. Not completely blind, but very close. His chakra coils are fucked and his sharingan are stuck in a way that he can kinda see chakra but very vaguely.

His illness isn’t completely healed, but it’s much better than before; Sakura and Tsunade are legendary at what they do

He returns home to Konoha. Not sure how he will be accepted into the village but I was thinking the village makes a half-lie half-truth story pinning the blame on Danzo (Cause when in doubt, blame Danzo. Or Zetsu. But Zetsu isn’t blamable here)

He may not be imprisoned, but he isn’t free to roam. He’s monitored and has a (temporary?) seal placed on him limiting his use of chakra.

Itachi is surprisingly ok with all of this. He gets to retire from a shinobi life and he’s unraveled the story to Sasuke and was gifted a form of forgiveness. Life’s chill.

He works at the Yamanaka flower shop. It’s calming, peaceful, and it’s run by Yamanaka, powerful shinobi and also knowledgeable on psychology.

His crows are now seeing eye crows. They sit on either his shoulders or head and squawk whenever Itachi is too close to bumping into something. Sasuke very much enjoys when the crows are on Itachi’s head because when he tosses little treats at the birds, sometimes they land in Itachi’s hair.

It’s very hard for the shinobi to fear this honestly tiny man (because Itachi is small, fight me) who’s humming while watering plants with a bird on top of his head while the various heroes of Konoha take turns tossing treats at the bird like it’s a dog.

“Nii-san. Nii-san stop squishing my cheeks.” “But Sasuke I want to see your face.” “Nii-san-”

oh my god so much brain power used on the massacre just so i could make itachi have a very domestic ending

#naruto #uchiha itachi #naruto shippuden #uchiha massacre #au #nart au

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yhyongguk · 3 years

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━ ❖ (im jaebum, male, he/him) hey, thank you for coming to town hall to update your information ae yongguk! you’re a citizen correct? good to know! are you enjoying yourself around yunhwa? you’ve been staying here for around seventeen years right? i’m glad! remind me, are you born on 06/01/1995? we’re so lucky to have someone so reliable around as a stall owner even if sometimes you can be evasive. hope to see you around house #4012, hwesakgu!

¦ profile ¦ personality ¦ background ¦ plots ¦ trivia ¦ tracker ¦

hello again, everyone! this is nari presenting to you this impending disaster named yongguk. he runs a stall called “kodachrome” where he takes photos for ids, sells prints as well as books sessions for photoshoots. every couple of nights, he works as a bartender at his aunt’s bar in busan (for extra money) and is proudly drummer of a band. (yes, he keeps busy so he doesn’t have time to think). his pages are linked above but here’s a tldr:

his parents work in the field with doctors without borders.

yongguk was born in seoul and lived there for six years before his parents sent him to yunhwa to stay with his grandparents while they went abroad.

seven years passed, his parents would rarely contact them, much less visit them.

in the meantime, his grandma taught him how to play many instruments, being a musician herself and he was enrolled in kwangsook academy.

at thirteen they returned and guk moved with them back to seoul. around this time he became more reserved and quiet, the conversation always focused on his parents achievements and interests.

he made it his goal to become a doctor in hopes of having something in common with them. it was a way to seek their attention and approval.

a year later, a new plan was announced and yongguk was back in yunhwa with his grandparents. he was actually pretty happy about this.

started taking his studies seriously in his junior year of high school, going to the extent of dropping music and every other altogether.

he successfully managed to get into pusan national university, school medicine.

however, the whole experience was something he wasn’t ready for at all. for a year and half he struggled to keep up with his classmates and was utterly ashamed to compare his simple goal of wanting to get closer to his parents to the drive of everyone else.

he drops out after talking with his grandfather, a successful doctor himself.

initially excited to get the chance of truly discovering what he wanted to do, a single call from his father deterred his enthusiasm. he was supposed to return to yunhwa, instead he decided to move in with a friend and stay in busan… where everything goes downhill.

at only twenty and under the fake pretense that he’d get his act together, he allows himself to make mistakes and act recklessly, secretly wishing that’d be enough to get his parents attention.

he found temporary jobs all around busan and never lasted too long, but he still made money and that’s the only thing he really cared about at the moment. things aren't great, but they aren’t that bad, or so he tells himself.

at twenty one, he gets a full sleeve on his left arm as well as many piercings. a couple of weeks after this, his grandparents decided to pay him a surprise visit and the state of his apartment as well as life… is not optimal.

coincidence or not, his parents video called them at that moment. it was the first time he heard from them in a year, and it was the last time as well.

seems like only his appearance was enough to finally trigger some sort of emotion from his father, but it wasn’t really the kind he was looking for. it was anger and he could clearly see the disappointment in his eyes. a heated argument ensues, one that ends with “you’re not our son anymore.”

perhaps it came a little too late, but it was the much needed wake up call to get his act together. not in order to mend the relationship with his parents, he knew that’d be impossible. but more so, for himself.

he perks up at a suggestion from his grandmother, one that was about a long forgotten hobby of his: photography. he remembers an old shoe box filled with polaroids and undeveloped films under his bed.

thus, he stays in busan after enrolling in a community college for a year-long photography class. around this time, one of his aunts offered him a job as a bartender in her bar and since then he’s been helping her every now and then. he says it’s for extra money, but in reality is a way to repay her from hiring him when no one else would.

after he was done with his course and had saved enough money to get a decent camera, he decided it was time to go back to yunhwa.

he returned three years ago. luckily, his reputation there remained intact and he wanted it to stay that way thus hiding the ink on his skin with long sleeves and removing the jewelry whenever he was outside.

yongguk moved back with his grandparents, this time to help them out and take care of his grandmother who started to get a little ill. he picked up playing and making music after finding his long abandoned drum set in the garage.

with the help of his grandfather, he opened his very own stall called “kodachrome” where he takes photos for ids, sells prints of his own work (mostly of yunhwa’s scenery) as well as books sessions for photoshoots.

a year and half ago, however, he had to find a new place. his grandparents decided to retire and move to jeju. thankfully, he managed to get a deal to rent a house from one of his grandma’s friends. the house was a little too big thus he decided to post an ad online looking for roommates to share the space and ease the expenses.

in the present, yongguk is still running his stall and getting contacted every blue moon by small influencers and event planners looking for his services. three nights a week, he goes back to busan to work for his aunt at the bar and every other night he has gigs with a band, which was randomly created after having far too many drinks with his roommates.

it’s not a tldr at all, lmao. i’m sorry but if you made it this far... ily. if you’re interested in plotting, please drop a like in this post and i’ll reach out to you!

#introyh #— ❛❛ // ESSENCE ¦ wipe the dry clean slate / ooc

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keelywolfe · 4 years

Text

FIC: The Royal We ch.1 (baon)

Summary: Family helps family. Sometimes right into the path of an oncoming car.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Kustard, Established Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

~~*~~

Read it on AO3

Read it here!

~~*~~

When they first came to this universe, it hadn’t taken long for Edge to realize that things were very different here than back home in Underfell, (no, not home, not for a long time now). The changes took some time to absorb and some might never fully integrate, as his freezer filled with stocked up meals would attest. But there were a few universal constants and while all of them grew up with their brother as their only relative, they all knew that family helped family. Even when that family was a pack of alternates who appeared later in life.

Which was how Edge found himself on his day off sitting on the floor of what was currently Papyrus and Blue’s house, making party favors for Undyne’s baby shower.

The living room was strewn with decorations waiting to be placed, streamers and banners in an eclectic rainbow of colors, uninflated balloons spilling out of a bag like the leftover skins of a particularly garish fruit. The party itself wasn’t until tomorrow, but that left little time to waste, considering the plans Papyrus had drawn up.

Plan was perhaps an overstatement, but Edge could never fault Papyrus for his enthusiasm. His color scheme, on the other hand—well. He’d never approved of the way some Humans were so obsessed with gender that they actually assigned colors at birth but there was a great distance between that and a design that might cause any guests with fleshier eyes to scramble for sunglasses.

Papyrus was bustling around setting things up while the rest of them were sitting on the floor in a circle around a coffee table that was cluttered with craft supplies. He’d paired each of them off to work on separate projects and for all that the occasion was a joyous one, the mood was decidedly not.

“how many of these things do we need, anyway?” Stretch grumbled. His and Jeff’s assigned duty was to pour a mixture of toffee-coated popcorn into small plastic bags, tie it closed with a ribbon, and then affix a sticker on the front that declared in cheery letters ‘Ready to Pop’!

Edge was morbidly curious as to how Undyne felt about that particular sentiment this close to the end of her pregnancy.

A glance at the finished bags confirmed that Stretch’s ribbons were less a bow and more a tangle of colorful knots, Jeff’s only a slight improvement. The bags were sealed at least, and Papyrus was more than content with the effort, which was all that really mattered.

Besides, Edge was busy with his own task; planting tiny succulents into miniature pots, each with a painstakingly attached tag reading, ‘Watch Me Grow!’. Privately, he thought the small cacti were a far better representation of Undyne than any snack, but then, he wasn’t the one actually throwing the shower.

“How many do we need,” Papyrus repeated thoughtfully. Edge pointedly did not ask about the garland in his hand which seemed to be made of dangling fish ornaments and…was that tomatoes? Edge decided it would be best not to know, lest he end up lying awake tonight with the answer still haunting him. “Well, there is Undyne’s co-workers in Security and Alphys’s at the lab, plus their neighbors and friends, and of course us!”

“i don’t need no damn cactus,” Red muttered sullenly. How Papyrus even got Red here was another burning question, though the answer was likely Sans sitting placidly right next to him. His collar was visible over the neckline of his t-shirt, the buckle glinting in the light. Occasionally he reached up absently to touch it as if to verify it hadn’t wandered off when he wasn’t looking. Their entire duty seemed to be putting cans of sparkling water into drink koozies emblazoned with such witticisms as ‘nacho average baby’ over a cartoon of a tortilla chip. It was anyone’s guess as to if that task was actually assigned to them or simple the one they’d decided on doing, but between them, there were four cans done after a half an hour of work.

Sans managed to slide another can into a koozie, bringing their grand total to five. “paps, that didn’t really answer the question.”

“That would be because I am not finished counting!” Papyrus scolded. “There’s also Undyne’s ‘Cooking with Krav Maga’ class and naturally all the Dreemurr family will be coming.”

“great, ass-gore will be here,” Stretch muttered, fumbling to tie another ribbon with varying success. “i’ll be sure to bring my headphones.”

Edge sighed inwardly. Stretch was in a prickly mood and had been all day, and it didn’t take a scientist-level IQ to know it had something to do with the baby shower. They’d known about this for days; when Papyrus asked if they would help, Edge hadn’t hesitated to agree. Now he was wondering if he shouldn’t have asked Stretch in advance. He hadn’t refused to come, but he’d been twitchy and snappish since getting up that morning, only getting worse when they came over. If the party were for anyone but Undyne, Edge would have suggested they go home.

Adding to the irritation was Red in a poor mood of his own and he hadn’t a single qualm about casting sparks around a gasoline spill. “good, no one wants to hear you flappin’ your yap, anyway. save your 280 characters for your twitter freaks.”

“aww, jealous?” Stretch cooed, “‘cause, you talk so much crap, i dunno whether to you need toilet paper or a breath mint.”

Edge exchanged a weary look with Blue, who returned it with equal exasperation. Those two had been sniping at each other all morning and it was Blue’s turn to attempt a least a little fire prevention.

“Really, Papy, that’s enough,” Blue said reprovingly. That might stop them briefly, but they all knew from past experience it wouldn’t last. Red and Stretch were alike in a number of dissatisfying ways, past the darkened circles of exhaustion that were currently visible beneath both their sockets. For one, most of them weren’t above returning a good insult with a better one, but Red and Stretch could be particularly vicious about it. Usually it was better to let them simply work it out between themselves; trying to intercede past a little mild scolding usually ended up getting you mixed up in the spat.

This time Edge was tempted, if only because Jeff looked supremely uncomfortable. He fumbled with his latest little bag of popcorn and ended up with a good portion bouncing into his lap rather than the treat bag.

For the time being, Sans seemed content to allow them to try to rein in their brothers, and that would likely last until their petty squabbling might upset Papyrus. Who thus far either hadn’t noticed or was content to allow the others to handle it. Edge hoped it was the latter. The crack in Papyrus’s skull was still starkly visible, although his balance seemed much improved, if the way he all but leapt from the ladder was any indication, digging furiously through an overflowing box of even more decorations.

“sure, bro,” Stretch said to his brother’s scold, and then promptly added a mumble of, “don’t see why he has to be here, anyway.”

“’cause it ain’t your party, it’s hers, and she’d want ‘im,” Red grumbled. Then, in a smirking sotto voce, “’sides, i figure he’s the baby daddy so be kinda rude not to at least give ‘im a party favor.”

“There is no baby daddy, since neither Undyne nor Alphys want to be called daddy, and it’s much ruder to speculate,” Papyrus called primly, confirming that he was indeed listening to the ongoing bickering. He stood with his hands on his hips, eyeing the growing balloon sculpture critically. Edge joined him in looking, biting the tip of his tongue to hold back any questions, especially on whether the design was supposed to be Undyne or an eggplant. Never ask when you didn’t want to know the answer and Papyrus wove in another long, purple balloon as he went on, “and also Asgore can’t be the donor because I am.”

A hush of silence fell, along with a number of wide sockets and eyes turning to Papyrus’s direction. No one’s were wider than Sans’s at what was obviously unexpected news to him as he blurted, "seriously, bro? you're the one who handed over the baby batter for undyne?”

Papyrus frowned at them all reprovingly. “That is rude AND crude, I'll thank you not to refer to it that way.”

"sorry, bro, but fuck,” Sans sputtered, “you didn’t say anything!”

"Is there a reason I would need to?” Papyrus asked, brow bones raised, “Undyne is my best friend and wanted a child, so of course I would help provide the necessary material in her time of need!"

“necessary material,” Stretch muttered, his face scrunching up, and in that Edge could only agree, “right.” He nudged Jeff with an elbow, who yelped aloud and jumped, sending up another miniature shower of popcorn, “uh, andy, i know we're best buds and all, but if you ever need--"

“Nope, I’m good,” Jeff said, a touch too loudly.

“happy to hear it.” Stretch gave him a grin that slowly faded. “see? so if asgore didn’t donate his, uh, time and effort, he can stay home."

“Honestly, Papy you can’t—" Blue began reprovingly, only to be drowned out by Red’s loud snort.

“what the fuck is your problem with asgore, anyway,” Red grumbled. He picked at his gold tooth, a tell that sent tension winding up Edge’s spine even as his brother added with lazy viciousness, “get over it already, you act like he’s your ex who fucked you over.”

The day seemed to be one for unexpected silences. Only this time the stares were directed at Stretch, who said nothing. He only sat white-faced, cellophane crinkling loudly as his hands fisted around the bag in his lap, his skull draining of color as he managed to look at anything but those stares.

Red let out a harsh chortle of laughter, “seriously? all this time you’ve been holier than thou about his lv and it’s actually ‘cause you used to give him the bone over in your ‘verse? fuck, now there is a mental picture,” Red moaned out gleefully, “oooh, fuzzy ass, stick it to me good! ram me with your furry wand of wonder and i’ll get your goat!”

A chorus of protests rose up, with Edge’s snarl of, “That’s enough!” rising to the top.

But Stretch was already standing, a litter of colorful ribbons shedding from his lap as he walked swiftly to the door.

“Rus—" Edge stood to chase after him, cursing his damned leg as it threatened to buckle under him. It was an exercise in futility from the start, as he’d known it would be. Stretch shortcutted the moment he was out the door, heading off Angel knew where to lose himself in the stew of his own thoughts. The temptation to look up where he’d reappeared on the phone app was strong, but Edge resisted it. Stretch had the right to be alone if that was what he wanted, particularly after that dig.

He sighed and went back into the house. Only to pause as he saw the various looks had transferred to him, all of them guarded, particularly Blue; his starry eye lights seemed to be anticipating anger at Stretch. As if this made any damned difference between them. Even Jeff looked near tears, like he expected Edge to already have Antwan on the phone demanding him to draw up divorce papers. It was damn well insulting, and he glared back at them all until those gazes dropped, Blue’s reluctantly last.

All except for his own brother. Red was grinning, savagely pleased, and if they wanted anger, the simmering urge to shout at his brother was rising to a roiling boil in him, his LV waking in his soul to twinge eagerly at the heat of it. Only that was likely exactly what his brother wanted, to be punished for his casual cruelties. Whatever was troubling Red, Edge wasn’t about to reward his masochism.

His own anger fell swiftly into disappointment; lately Red had been bordering on kind with Stretch, if it could be called that, treating him as a brother, or better, if Edge were honest with himself. A brother that needed his protection as Edge decidedly did not. It’d been some time since he’d deliberately needled Stretch and Edge couldn’t even understand why he’d chosen to do so today. Whatever his petty reasons, they weren’t sufficient enough to excuse that.

Edge kept his voice low and even as he said, “That was cruel.”

That satisfied smirk faltered and Red shifted to lean forward. “yeah? well, it's about time he starts getting’ over it. it ain’t the same guy and he’s married to you.”

“Affection for someone else is not any kind of betrayal and considering that all of you calculated our worlds have ceased to exist, there isn’t much opportunity for closure, is there,” Edge said, acid creeping in. "The state of my marriage is no concern of yours."

Red’s sockets fell half-closed as he said, dangerously soft, "you think so, boss?"

Then he flinched suddenly, yelping as Sans slapped him upside the head. "you’re so eager for stretch to get over shit, how about you practice what you preach.” He shoved a can of sparkling water into Red’s lap. “shut up and put on a fucking koozie.”

Red scowled hard and Edge did not miss his crimson gaze flicking to the collar around Sans's throat. Grudgingly, he did what he was told.

“Do not interfere with my marriage,” Edge said coolly. Not that such a statement would stop his brother, but at least it was said between them. Then to Papyrus. “I am sorry, but."

Papyrus only flapped his hands at him, shooing him away, “No, no, go, talk to Stretchy Me! I’m sure Cherry here would like to think about how much he hurt Stretch’s feelings and yours, his own brother, who has recently suffered an injury. And there are my own injuries to consider as well, sticks, stones, and words do hurt!"

Edge let him ramble and started for the door, then hesitated. The others were accustomed to a certain amount of internal friction, some of it formerly his and Stretch’s, from the moment they woke up in this universe. Their Human companion was not so inured to it and Edge crouched to set a ginger hand on Jeff’s shoulder, “Jeff, I’m sorry.”

“Nah,” Jeff waved it off, offering up a lopsided grin. “That was nothing. You should’ve seen Thanksgiving at my grandparent’s place. Don’t think my grandma ever got the gravy stains off the ceiling.”

“can’t just drop a hint like that and not give the story, andy,” Sans said, lightly. The others murmured agreement, eager to latch onto another topic.

Edge could hear as he went out the door, “Well, uh, see, my grandpa was originally from Norway, and—”

There were any number of places Stretch might go to nurse his internal wounds, but Edge had a fairly good guess as to the likeliest one. He drove home, parked his car in the driveway, but instead of heading up to the front porch, he went around the side of the house towards their fenced backyard. Before he was even close, he could hear Stretch talking and he went quietly through the gate to see him sitting outside the coop with Noodle settled into his lap, the laces of his untied sneakers trailing into the grass for Dumpling to peck at.

His skull was resting against one of the support posts, still too pale, his sockets closed and his vape drooping loosely from his long fingers. Vaping instead of smoking cropped up sometimes when Stretch was truly irritated, as if he subconsciously wanted control over something and settled for his nicotine addiction. Or perhaps it was to protect his feathered companions from secondhand smoke.

Noodle didn’t seem bothered either way, chirring softly as Stretch stroked his free hand down her back.

“—not like i don’t know i’m being a dick. that guy just pisses me off sometimes. asgore, not red. actually, they both piss me off, now that you mention it.”

Noodle made an inquisitive sound and Stretch sighed out a cloud of vapor. “yeah, yeah, i was in a mood before we even went over. i dunno, all that baby shit gets on my nerves for some reason.” He scratched lightly under Noodle’s chin and she cooed contentedly. “you’re right, it’s no excuse for being shitty. especially to papyrus, he’s all excited about throwing this party. even if the balloon thing was creepy, you should’ve seen it, like cthulhu’s second cousin after failed plastic surgery.”

“You weren’t being a dick.” Edge said, quietly. Stretch tensed and his sockets slid open, but he didn’t look up, his pale eye lights straying down on his poultry pal. Edge walked over and sat next to them, keeping a careful distance away, easily breached if Stretch wished, or a comforting barrier if he didn’t. “Perhaps a little rude.” Edge held up his thumb and forefinger an inch apart. “A little. My brother, on the other hand, was embracing his dickish nature.”

Stretch made a faint, amused sound, “red embracing his dick was not a chat i was expecting today.”

Then he leaned to the side, crossing the distance between them to rest his skull on Edge’s shoulder. He took the unsubtle hint and slid an arm around his husband’s slim shoulders, holding him in close, closing his sockets against the faint tremble in Stretch’s voice as softly spoke.

“he wasn’t my boyfriend. fuck, i never saw him get out of the ruins. i…might’ve given it a shot if he had,” his voice dropped to a bare whisper and Edge hummed encouragingly, already anticipating what was coming, “but i was fucking everyone back then. i was maybe a little infatuated, okay? that’s it.”

“All right,” Edge said, calmly, even as he tightened his arm around Stretch, holding him closer still. He was not jealous of Stretch’s yesterdays; his only commitments were his tomorrows, and despite what his brother might think, Edge was certainly not about to allow anything so trivial as a former crush on a dead man come between them.

Stretch heaved a watery little sigh. “but that isn’t it, not really. he was my friend and i promised him i’d take care of the kid. instead i—"

“Did what you had to do,” Edge interrupted firmly. He understood impossible situations better than most, his own LV-tainted soul aching to think of Stretch enduring what he had for so long, an impossible choice to make between his world and the intent of a murderous child.

Yet, even now, Stretch couldn’t be convinced that was true. He only sighed out a quiet, “sure.” Then, louder, “anyway. he was my friend. he would have hated to see what he was in this world. it’s just…it’s hard sometimes.”

“I know.” Hard to see alternates of people they’d known, a lifetime of memories to be set aside while learning a new person with an old face. Undyne was his own personal struggle and Edge could call her friend, but it wasn’t the same, it couldn’t be.

Next to him, Stretch snuggled in closer even as Noodle let out a querulous protest over the lack of petting. “i’ve been thinking. my hp is on the rise, right?”

“It’s 5 and a quarter, love,” Edge said dryly, reaching over to offer the chicken a gentle pat, Noodle’s dismay quickly turning to a rapturous croon, “and as happy as I am for it, I’d prefer if you didn’t decide to take up hang gliding or street fighting.”

"you're hilarious, babe." Another long, slow breath, before Stretch blurted, "i know i kinda railroaded you when we talked about this before. if you really want kids--" he faltered, his voice breaking as Edge listened in dismayed confusion, "i mean, if that's…we could…"

Suddenly Edge knew precisely what Rus was going to offer and he didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t want him to think in even the tiniest way that he’d lost some measure of Edge’s love by preferring not to have children and and he didn’t know how to stop him from strangling out the words.

So Edge cupped his face in a hand and turned Stretch’s head towards him to kiss that stammering mouth lingeringly, until he stopped trying and simply melted into the gentle touch. By the time he drew away, Stretch was the one making thin, dismayed sounds, trying to chase after that kiss for more, his eye lights hazy soft. Instead, Edge pressed a light, teasing kiss to the slight nodule of his nasal cavity.

"No, I don’t think so,” Edge told him, slow and carefully. Watching that much-loved face to make sure Stretch was hearing him. “I’ve considered it and I’ve decided I’m entirely too busy to add parenthood to my schedule. I’m going back to the Y this week, I think I’m better off trying to secure a place in this world for the children already in it.”

Poorly hidden relief flickered over Stretch’s face and Edge leaned in to kiss him again, silently hoping that he was truly believed this time. There was no doubt in his mind that Stretch would force himself to endure the stresses of having a child if he thought Edge wished it, but making Stretch bear the weight of unwanted parenthood was a nightmare not to be considered. He’d love the child, surely, but at what cost? Far higher than Edge would ever consider paying.

A sudden cackle came from inside the coop and Stretch jerked away, sitting bolt upright.

“the egg!” Stretch gasped, scrambling to his feet, “i never did get a chance to research her adopted egg. you think maybe it actually—” hatched, he did not say, almost superstitiously hopeful.

“It’s possible,” Edge hedged, doubtfully. They both started into the coop, only for a voice calling over the fence to stop them.

“Hello? Hello, is anyone home?” The words were couched with near panic and the voice was a familiar one. Stretch beat him to the fence, opening the gate as he limped as quickly as he could over.

“Janice?” Edge said, surprised and concerned. The fur on her face was matted and wet with tears and she wrung her hands, shaking as she tried to speak. It brought back unpleasant memories of the attack at the Embassy, when one of the protesters threw a brick at her. Even then her pain and fear were tempered under practicality as she asked Antwan to bring her children to the hospital, her thoughts on keeping her boys from fearing Humans more than they already might. To see her bereft of her usual firm control was concerning.

“Calm down,” Edge soothed, pulling her into his arms without a thought, even as he cast a wary glance around the neighborhood. Nothing seemed out of order, not yet, “What’s happened?”

She leaned against him heavily and he nearly staggered back a step. Tall as he was, they were of nearly an equal weight. “It’s Jude, he didn’t come home for lunch and I can’t find him anywhere!” She hitched out a sob. “None of the other children have seen him, my family has been looking but we can’t find him, I can’t—”

Her voice dissolved and Edge gave her a last pat before firmly pushing her into his husband’s startled arms.

“Stretch, stay with her,” Edge commanded, reaching for his phone, “I’m going to make some calls.”

“yeah, sure,” Stretch agreed hastily. He rubbed a soothing hand down her back as Janice struggled against her tears. “hey, we’ll find him. little guy couldn’t have gotten too far.”

Edge was already pulling up his contact list and couldn’t help the darkly sour thought that if this didn’t pull his brother out of his bad mood, nothing would.

~~*~~

tbc

#spicyhoney #papcest #kustard #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #by any other name

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nat-20s · 4 years

Text

i woke up at 4:30 in the morning with this messy meta about the comparative horror styles of welcome to nightvale vs the magnus archives and how i like them both very much this is not a one is better than the other post because they’re DIFFERENT but also why, personally, nightvale has freaked me out more than TMA (the magnus archives- im gonna use the abbreviation from now on and in scientific papers u gotta ESTABLISH the acronym and it’s actually kind of annoying bc they’ll establish it ONCE in the abstract and then never say what XJFEFJDOSM or whatever stands for again so if ur like wait WHAT was that again u gotta scroll all the way back up and it’s a whole thing but I digress) and it has to do with WORLDBUILDING and FRAMING DEVICES and USE OF SECOND PERSON and only a little bit how if a character unironically says “innit” i automatically can’t take them seriously. Anyway it’s stuck in my head so you know I had to make it your problem. Also I’m putting this under a read more bc fjsdjlks holy shit this is gonna get LONG and RAMBLY and D E E P L Y nerdy

WORLDBUILDING, FRAMING DEVICES, AND (THE USE OF) YOU IN MANGUS AND NIGHTVALE

Part A: whose universe is it anyway? Welcome to horror where the lore is made up and the logic doesnt matter

so I am not the first or last to compare (/maybe wanna crossover a little) the worlds of

wtnv (welcome to nightvale) and TMA and like for good reason bc in many ways they feel very similar but in TMA it’s like What the FUCK is going on with all of these horrors and nightmarish scenarios I am FREAKED out where as WTNV treats it’s horrors as typically mundane which

A: plays into why when WTNV is like “remember how we’re a horror :)” it’s like OH SHIT bc if Jon Archivist is scared you’re like well yeah it’s scary out there but if CECIL PALMER, general attitude of a peppy cheerleader when facing terrors beyond imagination, is scared, you KNOW shit is FUCKED

B: isn’t entirely accurate, because I don’t actually feel like they are set in the same world. here’s where things get sticky when it comes to realities and whatnot but I do wanna stress that yes I know WTNV and TMA are both works of fictions BUT I would personally say that

TMA is set in a parallel universe: a reality that’s similar to our own but also distinctly separate from anything that we, the audience, can witness but never participate in

WTNV is set in a hidden universe: it is set in our (the listeners) own reality, and is done in such a way that it feels like if you looked hard enough for it or if you just had a bout of bad luck or if you happen to drive down a certain road in a long stretch of US desert (side note: if there’s any real life place nightvale would be set in it’s definitely new mexico have you ever been in new mexico it’s called land of ENCHANTMENT for a reason if I drove into new mexico and drove back out a few days later and like THIRTY YEARS had passed I’d be like yeah that tracks) that you could end up in the reality of nightvale. Who’s to say there’s not a faceless old woman secretly living in your house? Are you sure there’s nothing odd in your mirror? Who can ever be sure time is working correctly?

Which brings me to

Part B: You(yes, you!)’ve Been Framed!

Listen. I fucking love a good framing device. Every time a podcast is like “here’s why the events of the story are recorded in the world of the story” I go bonkers in yonkers that shit SLAPS. TMA and WTNV both do this, but (at least up to ep 176 of TMA, this whole fuckin essay could still be blown out the water) TMA’s framing device doesn’t account for an audience, where as WTNV’s the audience is a core component

the framing device of TMA is that these spooky stories are being recorded by an archivist in order to have an audio version of written statements. Cool! It tells the audience why these recordings exist, and why they’re episodic. Later in the story, the tapes begin to spontaneously show up because of Spooky Reasons that have yet to be Fully Revealed, but it still isn’t for an audience. When Jon Archivist records these tapes, they’re basically being recorded for a Void. Yes, the tapes are originally for a potential researcher to listen to, but that ain’t you chief. You are not part of the narrative (so far at least! Again, maybe the audience will be brought into the story when it’s revealed What’s Up with the spontaneous tapes, but so far nah), there’s no in universe explanation for why you personally are listening to these stories. You aren’t present in the story, in the framing device, so you are not a part of that world.

The framing device of WTNV is that you are tuning into the community radio of a small desert town, Nightvale, that you are a part of. After all, if you are tuning into something local, you’re strongly implied to be local. Thus, we have a framing device that explains both why it’s recorded AND why you’re listening. The audience is absolutely involved in the narrative rather than a simple spectator. Cecil Palmer is not recording into a Void, he’s talking to listeners of which you are a part of. (side note: this makes nightvale liveshows SUPER fun if u get an opportunity to go to one I HIGHLY recommend it bc while there’s not ‘audience participation’ in the classic sense of like magic or comedy acts the narrative IS constructed in a way that you feel less like a witness of a story and more of a participant like the one I went to most of us pulled our legs onto out chair bc oh SHIT maybe there IS an escaped librarian under your chair making a grab for your feet SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF IS FUN AS HELL YALL)

These framing devices are enforced and enhanced upon by who the “you” in a narrative is.

In TMA, when there’s a “you” being referred to, when there’s a listener, it’s usually an in universe character. When there’s lines like “i’m sorry, that’s not what you came here to listen to” it’s not referring to you personally, it’s talking to Jon Archivist or Gertrude Archivist or Insert Archival Assistant. When TMA does use a more general “you”, it’s still in universe rather than the external listening to audience. You can include yourself as part of that general you, but it’s not inherently built into the narrative. If you want to distance yourself, you can also do that. You are not automatically in this world, even if much of it feels repeatable and/or similar

WTNV sometimes uses you to refer to an in universe character, because conversations do happen, but in the episodes where it’s like LMAO THIS IS A HORROR, the “you” and general second person is actively both discussing a known character and the listener personally. One of the most recent episodes, ep 171 “Go to the Mirror?” is a BRILLIANT example of this, where Cecil is simultaneously discussing himself and his experiences AND you as well. There’s something he can only see in the mirror, something with such sharp claws, on his shoulders, but it’s also something you personally can only see in the mirror, something on your shoulder. You are not exempt from the story, you can’t be exempt from the story, because you’ve always been a part of it. (Also side note go to the mirror is SO fuckign good it made my heart fuckin POUND the amount of times that despite knowing it was fiction I looked over my shoulder so many times. I know a shit ton of people listened to WTNV in like 2012/13 and dropped off and felt guilty and never caught up again but like. Catch up on nightvale it’s good for body and soul and also Cecilos just keep winning)

WAY too long; didn’t read: to me personally while I LOVE both TMA and WTNV, WTNV is scarier to be because TMA feels like a story that you’re bearing witness to (also thank god british people aren’t real and were made up for the Peppa Pig Cinematic Universe), WTNV feels not just like a story that you could be in but actively already are and that makes things SPOOKY

Also this isn’t related to the essay but shout out to whoever first decided that horror narrators should have nice even voices we really all be soothed by some grisly ass stories the amount of people that fall asleep to WTNV/TMA is WILD

#wtnv #tma #this essay is for me and me alone #and it's basically like go to the mirror? that wild sun of a gun sure is SCARY

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reflectionsofacreator · 4 years

Video

youtube

aLRIGHT

let’s dig into this one

So the timeline for this is a bit strange, but this is when Clay discovered the Truth about Eve and Adam, about the origins of humanity, and the precursors themselves. It’s kind of subtly implied in the last memory that Clay was just starting to dig deeper and deeper, searching more and more into his genetic memory until he found the Truth. Additionally, Clay’s Bleeding Effect was out of control due to being forced to spend so much time in the Animus, and he was able to unintentionally access older memories, including that of Adam, his direct ancestor. Now, I’m not exactly sure if Juno gave him the Truth, or she found him while he was spelunking in his genetic memory, but either way, this is how she finds him.

And this is where Juno informs him that it’s his fate to die to pass on a message to Desmond, and that this message can only be passed on with his death. He tried to fight it, but Juno also informed him about Lucy’s true allegiances, thus ensuring that he would never actually leave Abstergo. And also do exactly what Juno wants.

I’m just. Gonna.

Along the way we hear a conversation between Clay and his father, with Clay excitedly telling him that he’s doing “real work” with William and Rebecca, only to be shot down and just... Sighs. The way that Harold just insists that money is what’s important, and then demanding that Clay support “this family”... We find out that Clay’s mother left, and like. With that, it becomes kind of clear that Clay isn’t supporting his family so much as being guilted into giving his father money. It just!! It sucks!! Because Clay was clearly desperate for a support system, for friends, a family, and he thought he found that with the Assassins! Except he got used and chewed up and spit out again!!

We find an email from Clay’s mother, and ... phew.

From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Subject: explanation

Dear Clay, It's your mother. I hear things are going well for you at work. It seems like you're impressing everyone. I always knew you'd be important. Not much to miss here. It rained earlier today. I had to rush to close the upstairs windows before the bedroom soaked through. Your fathers renovation is nearly finished. All these cupboards to put stuff in. dinner will be a real party. Im sure you're wondering why I'm emailing you out of the blue for the first time and talking about the rain and dinner. I'm not exactly comfortable talking to you about thiss. I had to drink one and two rum and cokes before getting on here. You and Harold. You've always liked Harold. I did too but I cant forgive him like you. We never go out anymore. I have to take care of him. He doesn't want my help. This wasn't supposed tobe my life. Raising you and him. Two baby boys. I'm sorry I wrote that but it's truw. You'be always done such a good job taking care of your father. If I stay here I wan't make it clay. forgive me. By the time you read this I'll be on the road. Know that I still liove you. Mom

Sighs like. I kinda want to be mad at her, but more than anything I’m just looking at the Kaczmarek family and just coming to the conclusion that none of them need to be together or live together. Like -- it’s a story that’s all together too common, and rather unremarkable because of it. A dad and husband that has to be babied and practically raised, a son with expectations thrust onto him without any thought for what he wants... It hurts, but what hurts worse is the fact that this happens all the time. It’s not special. And Clay knew that. It’s why he went so hard for the Assassins.

Something that’s interesting is that during Clay’s talk with his father, you can find a code imprinted onto the wall, written in braille.

It reads "The truth is constructed from lies” and there’s a couple different ways that that can be interpreted.

I think the first thing I thought of was like... the concept of “history is written by the winners” and how the truth that we know in our day to day lives is probably not actually true, just created out of an attempt to lie to ourselves over what history actually is like. My next thought was that Lord of the Rings opening monologue of “And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth.“ and relating it back to how the story of Eve and Adam is actually a war of rebellion in the AC universe, only to be slowly transformed into a creation myth in various religions.

Another thing to consider is the fact that this was found while Clay was talking to his dad about the Assassins (albeit indirectly), and the Creed being “Nothing is True, Everything is Permitted” is something that should be taken into account as well. The way it’s written in braille also brings to mind the phrase “blind to the truth” in my opinion, which Clay certainly was blind to what was actually going with William, and Lucy.

The second code you can see is after you find the letter from Clay’s mother, and it’s the greek letter theta, Θ, in it’s capital form. You see it as you’re traversing a gap, and have to dodge around the pillars as the platform you’re on passes through them.

Historically, it was used in classical Athens as an abbreviation for θάνατος, Thanatos, the Greek god of the dead. It was used as a warning sign for death, similar to the skull-and-crossbones is used now. It survives on potsherds where people would vote for the death penalty by marking Θ on the tile.

Directly after this symbol is seen, you hear one final exchange between Clay and Juno.

Clay: I can see. What has been, what will be. Juno: Then what you must do is clear. Help Desmond Miles. Clay: I... No. Not me. I refuse! Juno: Thousands of years this message waited. Soon its promise shall be fulfilled. Go forth, with eyes open to all but the truth.

Now, this is a bit of something. What Clay is seeing is the Calculations, a catch all term for how the Precursors managed to project themselves into the future form when they were. It’s briefly mentioned by Jupiter that Minerva was always better at the Calculations than him, that it was “always her domain.”

The way the Calculations work is like... hm. If you know the weight of a knife, the speed at which you throw it, the wind resistance on that day, you can pretty accurately predict where it lands, right? The Precursors managed to do that for everything. They mathed so hard that they predicted the future.

The writers confirmed that part of Clay’s insanity, in addition to the Bleeding Effect, was because he saw too many of the Calculations, and that his line about “The sun... your son..” was a reference to what he saw. Now, this gets into a bit of like, meta knowledge, because at the time, ac3 wasn’t out yet. But the DLC of “The Tyranny of King Washington” is related, because it’s a possible future that was Calculated into existence, and that the Apple let Connor see. So the Calculations aren’t just visions, it’s possible to, with the right equipment, actually experience these things.

But also, I can’t help but wonder -- did Juno maybe force Clay to see the Calculations, in order to manipulate him into seeing the messages she needed passed on? To sort of break him into being more pliable and thus less resistant to her desires? And what did she mean, “eyes open to all but the truth”? [shakes the screen] give me answers dammit

Food for thought. A lot of thought.

#creator plays ac rev #creator plays ac lost archive #Clay Kacmarek

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star-anise · 5 years

Note

do you have any sources on the claims you made? im always willing to change my stance if you have legitimate backing for it haha

So first, I’m sorry for blowing up at you the way that I did. I’m not proud that I reacted in such a kneejerk, aggressive fashion. Thank you for being open to hearing what I have to say. I’m sorry for mistaking you for a TERF, and I’m sorry my response has caused other people to direct their own hostility towards you.

So, here’s the thing. “You can’t call bi women femmes” is pretty intrinsically a radfem thing to say, and I am deeply opposed to letting radfems tell me what to do. I’m trying to write this during a weekend packed with childcare and work. I’ll try to hit all the high notes.

The one thing I am having trouble finding is the longass post I talked about in my reply, that was a history of butch/femme relationships in lesbian bars, which had frequent biphobic asides and talked about “the lesbophobic myth of the bi-rejecting lesbian”; the friend who reblogged it without reading it thoroughly has deleted it, and I can’t find it on any of the tags she remembers looking at around that time. If anyone can find it, I’ll put up a link.

As far as possible, I’m linking to really widely accessible sources, because you shouldn’t intrinsically trust a random post on Tumblr as secret privileged knowledge. People have talked about this at length in reputable publications that your local library either has, or can get through interlibrary loan; you can look up any of the people here, read their work, and decide for yourself. This is a narrative of perspectives, and while I obviously have a perspective, many people disagree with me. At the end of the day, the only reason I need for calling bi women femmes is that You Are Not The Boss Of Me. There is no centralized authority on LGBT+ word usage, nor do I think there should be. Hopefully this post will give you a better sense of what the arguments are, and how to evaluate peoples’ claims in the future.

I looked up “butch” and “femme” with my library’s subscription to the Oxford English Dictionary because that’s where you find the most evidence of etymology and early use, and found:

“Femme” is the French word for “woman”. It’s been a loanword in English for about 200 years, and in the late 19th century in America it was just a slangy word for “women”, as in, “There were lots of femmes there for the boys to dance with”

“Butch” has been used in American English to mean a tough, masculine man since the late 19th century; in the 1930s and 1940s it came to apply to a short masculine haircut, and shortly thereafter, a woman who wore such a haircut. It’s still used as a nickname for masculine cis guys–my godfather’s name is Martin, but his family calls him Butch. By the 1960s in Britain, “butch” was slang for the penetrating partner of a pair of gay men.

Butch/femme as a dichotomy for women arose specifically in the American lesbian bar scene around, enh, about the 1940s, to enh, about the 1960s. Closet-keys has a pretty extensive butch/femme history reader. This scene was predominantly working-class women, and many spaces in it were predominantly for women of colour. This was a time when “lesbian” literally meant anyone who identified as a woman, and who was sexually or romantically interested in other women. A lot of the women in these spaces were closeted in the rest of their lives, and outside of their safe spaces, they had to dress normatively, were financially dependent on husbands, etc. Both modern lesbians, and modern bisexual women, can see themselves represented in this historical period.

These spaces cross-pollinated heavily with ball culture and drag culture, and were largely about working-class POC creating spaces where they could explore different gender expressions, gender as a construct and a performance, and engage in a variety of relationships. Butch/femme was a binary, but it worked as well as most binaries to do with sex and gender do, which is to say, it broke down a lot, despite the best efforts of people to enforce it. It became used by people of many different genders and orientations whose common denominator was the need for safety and discretion. “Butch” and “femme” were words with meanings, not owners.

Lesbianism as distinct from bisexuality comes from the second wave of feminism, which began in, enh, the 1960s, until about, enh, maybe the 1980s, maybe never by the way Tumblr is going. “Radical” feminism means not just that this is a new and more exciting form of feminism compared to the early 20th century suffrage movement; as one self-identified radfem professor of mine liked to tell us every single lecture, it shares an etymology with the word “root”, meaning that sex discrimination is at the root of all oppression.

Radical feminism blossomed among college-educated women, which also meant, predominantly white, middle- or upper-class women whose first sexual encounters with women happened at elite all-girls schools or universities. Most of these women broke open the field of “women’s studies” and the leading lights of radical feminism often achieved careers as prominent scholars and tenured professors.

Radical feminism established itself as counter to “The Patriarchy”, and one of the things many early radfems believed was, all men were the enemy. All men perpetuated patriarchy and were damaging to women. So the logical decision was for women to withdraw from men in all manner and circumstances–financially, legally, politically, socially, and sexually. “Political lesbianism” wasn’t united by its sexual desire for women; many of its members were asexual, or heterosexual women who decided to live celibate lives. This was because associating with men in any form was essentially aiding and abetting the enemy.

Look, I’ll just literally quote Wikipedia quoting an influential early lesbian separatist/radical feminist commune: “The Furies recommended that Lesbian Separatists relate “only (with) women who cut their ties to male privilege” and suggest that “as long as women still benefit from heterosexuality, receive its privileges and security, they will at some point have to betray their sisters, especially Lesbian sisters who do not receive those benefits”“

This cross-pollinated with the average experience of WLW undergraduates, who were attending school at a time when women weren’t expected to have academic careers; college for women was primarily seen as a place to meet eligible men to eventually marry. So there were definitely women who had relationships with other women, but then, partly due to the pressure of economic reality and heteronormativity, married men. This led to the phrase LUG, or “lesbian until graduation”, which is the kind of thing that still got flung at me in the 00s as an openly bisexual undergrad. Calling someone a LUG was basically an invitation to fight.

The assumption was that women who marry men when they’re 22, or women who don’t stay in the feminist academic sphere, end up betraying their ideals and failing to have solidarity with their sisters. Which seriously erases the many contributions of bi, het, and ace women to feminism and queer liberation. For one, I want to point to Brenda Howard, the bisexual woman who worked to turn Pride from the spontaneous riots in 1969 to the nationwide organized protests and parades that began in 1970 and continue to this day. She spent the majority of her life to a male partner, but that didn’t diminish her contribution to the LGBT+ community.

Lesbian separatists, and radical feminists, hated Butch/Femme terminology. They felt it was a replication of unnecessarily heteronormative ideals. Butch/femme existed in an LGBT+ context, where gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender people understood themselves to have more in common with each other than with, say, cis feminists who just hated men more than they loved women.

The other main stream of feminist thought at the time was Liberal Feminism, which was like, “What if we can change society without totally rejecting men?” and had prominent figures like Gloria Steinem, who ran Ms magazine. Even today, you’ll hear radfems railing against “libfems” and I’m like, my good women, liberal feminism got replaced thirty years ago. Please update your internal schema of “the enemy”

Lesbian separatism was… plagued by infighting. To maintain a “woman-only” space, they had to kick out trans women (thus, TERFs), women who slept with men (thus, biphobia), women who enjoyed kinky sex or pornography or engaged in sex work (thus, SWERFS) and they really struggled to raise their male children in a way that was… um… anti-oppressive. (I’m biased; I know people who were raised in lesbian separatist communes and did not have great childhoods.) At the same time, they had other members they very much wanted to keep, even though their behaviour deviated from the expected program, so you ended up with spectacles like Andrea Dworkin self-identifying as a lesbian despite being deeply in love with and married to a self-identified gay man for twenty years, despite beng famous for the theory that no woman could ever have consensual sex with a man, because all she could ever do was acquiesce to her own rape.

There’s a reason radical feminism stopped being a major part of the public discourse, and also a reason why it survives today: While its proponents became increasingly obsolete, they were respected scholars and tenured university professors. This meant people like Camille Paglia and Mary Daly, despite their transphobia and racism, were considered important people to read and guaranteed jobs educating young people who had probably just moved into a space where they could meet other LGBT people for the very first time. So a lot of modern LGBT people (including me) were educated by radical feminist professors or assigned radical feminist books to read in class.

The person I want to point to as a great exemplar is Alison Bechdel, a white woman who discovered she was a lesbian in college, was educated in the second-wave feminist tradition, but also identified as a butch and made art about the butch/femme dichotomy’s persistence and fluidity. You can see part of that tension in her comic; she knows the official lesbian establishment frowns on butch/femme divisions, but it’s relevant to her lived experience.

What actually replaced radical feminism was not liberal feminism, but intersectional feminism and the “Third Wave”. Black radical feminists, like Audre Lorde, bell hooks, and Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw, pointed out that many white radical feminists were ignoring race as a possible cause of oppression, and failing to notice how their experiences differed from Black womens’. Which led to a proliferation of feminists talking about other oppressions they faced: Disabled feminists, Latina feminists, queer feminists, working-class feminists. It became clear that even if you eliminated the gender binary from society, there was still a lot of bad shit that you had to unlearn–and also, a lot of oppression that still happened in lesbian separatist spaces.

I’ve talked before about how working in women-only second-wave spaces really destroyed my faith in them and reinforced my belief in intersectional feminism

Meanwhile, back in the broader queer community, “queer” stuck as a label because how people identified was really fluid. Part of it is that you learn by experience, and sometimes the only way to know if something works for you is to try it out, and part of it is that, as society changed, a lot more people became able to take on new identities without as much fear. So for example, you have people like Pat Califia, who identified as a lesbian in the 70s and 80s, found far more in common with gay leather daddies than sex-negative lesbians, and these days identifies as a bisexual trans man.

Another reason radical feminists hate the word “queer”, by the way, is queer theory, which wants to go beyond the concept of men oppressing women, or straights oppressing gays, but to question this entire system we’ve built, of sex, and gender, and orientation. It talks about “queering” things to mean “to deviate from heteronormativity” more than “to be homosexual”. A man who is married to a woman, who stays at home and raises their children while she works, is viewed as “queer” inasmuch as he deviates from heteronormativity, and is discriminated against for it.

So, I love queer theory, but I will agree that it can be infuriating to hear somebody say that as a single (cis het) man he is “queer” in the same way being a trans lesbian of colour is “queer”, and get very upset and precious about being told they’re not actually the same thing. I think that actually, “queer as a slur” originated as the kind of thing you want to scream when listening to too much academic bloviating, like, “This is a slur! Don’t reclaim it if it didn’t originally apply to you! It’s like poor white people trying to call themselves the n-word!” so you should make sure you are speaking about a group actually discriminated against before calling them “queer”. On the other hand, queer theory is where the theory of “toxic masculinity” came from and we realized that we don’t have to eliminate all men from the universe to reduce gender violence; if we actually pay attention to the pressures that make men so shitty, we can reduce or reverse-engineer them and encourage them to be better, less sexist, men.

But since radfems and queer theorists are basically mortal enemies in academia, radical feminists quite welcomed the “queer as a slur” phenomenon as a way to silence and exclude people they wanted silenced and excluded, because frankly until that came along they’ve been losing the culture wars.

This is kind of bad news for lesbians who just want to float off to a happy land of only loving women and not getting sexually harrassed by men. As it turns out, you can’t just turn on your lesbianism and opt out of living in society. Society will follow you wherever you go. If you want to end men saying gross things to lesbians, you can’t just defend lesbianism as meaning “don’t hit on me”; you have to end men saying gross things to all women, including bi and other queer women. And if you do want a lesbian-only space, you either have to accept that you will have to exclude and discriminate against some people, including members of your community whose identities or partners change in the future, or accept that the cost of not being a TERF and a biphobe is putting up with people in your space whose desires don’t always resemble yours.

Good god, this got extensive and I’ve been writing for two hours.

So here’s the other thing.

My girlfriend is a femme bi woman. She’s married to a man.

She’s also married to two women.

And dating a man.

And dating me (a woman).

When you throw monogamy out the window, it becomes EVEN MORE obvious that “being married to a man” does not exclude a woman from participation in the queer community as a queer woman, a woman whose presentation is relevant in WLW contexts. Like, this woman is in more relationships with women at the moment than some lesbians on this site have been in for their entire lives.

You can start out with really clear-cut ideas about “THIS is what my life is gonna be like” but then your best friend’s sexual orientation changes, or your lover starts to transition, and things in real life are so much messier than they look when you’re planning your future. It’s easy to be cruel, exclusionary, or dismissive to people you don’t know; it’s a lot harder when it’s people you have real relationships with.

And my married-to-a-man girlfriend? Uses “butch” and “femme” for reasons very relevant to her queerness and often fairly unique to femme bi women, like, “I was out with my husband and looking pretty femme, so I guess they didn’t clock me as a queer” or “I was the least butch person there, so they didn’t expect me to be the only one who uses power tools.” Being a femme bi woman is a lot about invisibility, which is worth talking about as a queer experience instead of being assumed to exclude us from the queer community.

#cherryhearrts #staranise original #answered asks #ranting in bisexual #lgbt discourse #terf shit #exclusionist shit #radfem shit #apologies to my girlfriend for not including carole queen in this post #she just didn't fit baby

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chiroyu · 5 years

Text

Memories Before Us

chapter 1: The Archangel and The Principality

Raphael sighs, a relaxed smile on his lips as he returns from finishing a bit more of his job. Creating the stars was always a peaceful experience for him, watching as the universe expanded around him to hold his creations. The feeling of warmth surrounding him as he placed the stars in intricate patterns always chased away the slight loneliness that always sat heavily in his chest. Though it never lasted long.

Raphael's wings flapped behind him as he landed, sighing out as he rests for a moment. There was nothing on this 'Earth' yet, except for something God called plants. He looked around at these 'plants' and smiled, cupping one of the hanging 'leaves' in his hand. He could feel it teeming with life, gently caressing it. These 'plants' seemed interesting, he'd have to watch over them to see how they end up.

After resting for a few minutes more, Raphael gets up. He lets his wings stretch out behind him, his feathers rustling softly as he does so. As he is about to take off to go back to his work in the dark sky, he sees someone he has never seen before. He watches the person carefully for a moment.

The person is kneeling in front of a 'river', their hand dipping into the 'water' and letting it push past the palm of his hand. He seems to be quite interested in what he is doing, for he continued to stare at his hand for many moments.

Raphael runs his eyes over the person, taking in how they looked. They were quite different from himself, he might even say they were opposites. For while his own hair was long and red, this person's was short and almost white. And while he was tall, skinny and sharp, this person was short, plump, and round. Truly they were opposites.

But Raphael has become interested in this person and can no longer just fly back to continue his work, he feels he must go over and greet this person. And so he does, gently flapping his wings to carry himself over to the person. He lands softly a little before the person. "Hello?" He asks.

The person jumps, not expecting the sudden sound of someone speaking. The person looks around, his eyes finally coming to a stop as he gazes upon Raphael. "Oh, hello!" The person says cheerily, standing up to face the person with a wide smile.

Raphael watches as the person runs their eyes over his body before stopping and looking at his face. The person wasnt exactly looking into his eyes, it was just a little to the right of them. He chuckles. "I'm Raphael." He says, with a smile. "I dont think I've seen you around before, mind telling me your name?" He asks, tilting his head a little.

The person looks surprised for a moment. "Raphael, the archangel?" He breathes the words out in a mixture of surprise and wonder.

Rapahel cringes slightly. "Yeah... that's me, I guess..." he mumbles, uncomfortable suddenly. Everyone always treated him differently when they found out who he was...

The person breathes out a quiet oh before smiling suddenly. "Its nice to meet you, archangel Raphael! I'm Aziraphale, a principality!" He exclaims excitedly.

Raphael blinks at the overwhelming and sudden greeting and introduction. He nods stupidly. "Nice to meet you, Aziraphale. And please, just Raphael. Archangel is..." he couldn't find the words on how uncomfortable it made him when others treated him like he was better than them just because of his title.

Aziraphale seems to understand and nods with a small smile. "Alright, Raphael it is then."

Raphael smiles appreciatively, slightly surprised the principality actually listened to him. Usually the others just continue to call him by his title. It was.... nice, refreshing. "Thank you, Aziraphale." He says gently.

The principality tilts his head. "Why are you thanking me? I was just abiding by your request!" He exclaims, confused by the thanks.

Raphael chuckles softly. "I'm thanking you because you listened to my request... Usually the others dont." He says with a sweet smile, though it seemed slightly sad.

Aziraphale said another soft oh. "I'm sorry, that's quite rude of them..." he says gently.

Raphael shakes his head. "Its fine. Now tell me, what is a principality like you doing down here? I dont see anyone you are supposed to be looking after." He says, looking around quickly just to make sure.

Aziraphale hums, chuckling softly "I havent been given my orders yet I'm afraid. Though I've been told it should be soon, that God is making the ones I should look after at this very moment."

Raphael nods. "You should enjoy your time then. Before you have to follow orders for the rest of your existence." He says solemnly.

Aziraphale raises his brows. "Why do you say it like its unenjoyable to follow orders?" He asks slowly, uncertain.

Raphael smiles sadly. "It... it isn't unenjoyable, per se but... its lacking something... it gets monotonous I suppose."

Aziraphale looks even more confused. "Lacking something? Like what?" He asks, genuinely not understanding what Raphael was going on about.

Raphael sighs gently, looking up at the sky. "Its... its lonely. You'll be all by yourself, following orders that eventually might mean nothing..." he says softly, barley audible.

Aziraphale let's out an oh, turning to look at the ground. "I-i never thought about it like that..." he says softly, suddenly looking afraid and apprehensive.

Raphael shakes his head to clear himself of his thoughts before turning his view away from the sky and back to the principalityin front of hin. "Sorry, you shouldnt have to hear this when you havent even experienced being given an order before..." he mumbles in guilt.

Aziraphale shakes his head, tearing his gaze from the earth to the archangel. "No, no need to apologize... Perhaps your words will help prepare me for when that time comes?" He asks softly, sounding small.

Raphael smiles gently. "Perhaps." He answers softly. "Though I'm sure you will enjoy it. Being given your order feels... well it feels nice. Better than nice actually. It feels wonderful." He says slowly, though his voice wavers ever so slightly like he doesnt even really believe himself.

The principality doesnt notice how unsure Raphael is of his own words, smiling with cheer up at the taller Angel. "I cannot wait." He declares softly.

Raphael smiles gently down at the principality, a soft snort escaping him. "Well, I'm afraid you'll have to." He jokes hesitantly. His jokes weren't ever really understood by the others, but it was always worth trying he supposes.

It takes Aziraphale a moment before he lets out and ph followed by soft chuckles. "Yes, you're right, I guess I should say I can wait then?"

Raphael smiles, a large smile that looks odd on his angular face and sort of off putting if you looked at him a certain way. But it was genuine, probably the most genuine smile he had smiled thus far. All due to the principality in front of him actaully understanding his silly little joke.

The principality stares up in awe at the archangel's smile. It looking a little odd, like he wasnt used to smiling so wide, but it made him feel warm. He wanted to see the archangel smile like that more. "Oh my.." he breathes out, staring longer than what could be considered normal, longer than perhaps he should have.

But Raphael only raises a brow, still smilind wide. "What, is something wrong with my face?" He asks, reaching up to see if maybe he had wiped 'dirt' on himself.

Aziraphale felt his face heat up, turning a light shade of pink as he pulled his eyes away. "T-theres nothing wrong with your face!" He mumbles out quickly to assure the taller angel.

Raphael raised a brow, moving hai hand from his own face to reach out and gently touch Aziraphale's cheek. "You've changed colors." He states simply. "I've never seen an angel do that before." He says in concern. "Are you... alright?"

Aziraphale feels his face go warm even more, the color on his cheeks darkening to red. "I-i-i'm fine! I-i just feel a little warm is all, no need to fret over this little ol principality!" He stutters out.

Raphael runs his thumb over Aziraphale's cheek. "But your face has gone red! Are you sure you're alright?" He asks in concern, staring intently into the principality's eyes.

Aziraphale pauses for a moment, getting lost in the archangel's eyes. "I-im sure..." he mumbles, still staring into endless golden eyes.

Raphael stared back into light blue orbs, searching to make sure the principality was truly okay. What he found must have pleased him as he sighs out, pulling back and letting his hand drop from Aziraphale's cheek as he broke eye contact. "That's relieving. It wouldnt have been good if something was wrong with you and the others found out." He states offhandedly, like the mention of the others doing something if he wasnt okay was common place and nothing too important.

Aziraphale feels his eyes widen in concern. "Why wouldnt it have been good?" He asks quietly, afraid of the answer.

Raphale frowns slightly. "Its- well- ngk- i-it's nothing... They wouldn't do anything. They'd just think your a bit weird is all." He stutters out in a mumble, clearly lying.

Aziraphale looks at the archangel in worry. "That's a lie, i-i can tell Raphael... what would they do? Really?"

Raphael sighs, he was never good at lying. Guess it came with the whole angel thing. "I-it's only rumors, there isn't any proof and really, frankly, its probably all lies-" hes cut off by the principality reaching out to grab his hand.

"Please, Raphael, just tell me." He needed to know. His mind wouldnt stop running with all kinds of scenarios.

Raphael gulps. "T-they say that if something is wrong with you, t-that they get rid of you..." he mumbles, looking away.

Aziraphale stares at Raphale in horror. "Get rid? L-like dea-" hes interrupted by Raphael shaking his own head, looking on with horror.

"No, no, not death!" Raphael exclaims quickly to try and ease the principality's anxiety that he can feel ever growing. "Theyd just-"

"They would what?! Please just say it!" Aziraphale exclaims, gripping the archangel's hand tightly.

Raphael gulps, shaking his head. "Theyd make you... make you leave heaven." He says softly. "B-but it's just rumors."

Aziraphale stares at Raphael with wide eyes. "Make you leave heaven? I-is that possible, i-ive never heard of-"

Raphael shrugs. "I'm not sure... lots of us think it could be possible, but it's all based on rumors. Besides, many angels are weird or off, but they're still here. They havent been made to leave." Yet, his mind supplied as he gulped.

Aziraphale sighs. "Oh, it hasnt actually- oh my, I'm so glad. That was terrifying to even imagine, I'm glad it's just a rumor!" He exclaims, breathing out a sigh in relief as he let's go of the archangels hand. "I-im sorry I acted like that, I-im not sure why, but it-"

Raphael forces a small smile to his lips. "I-it's alright, I understand... i reacted similarly when i first heard about it as well." He says gently.

Aziraphale sighs softly before a smile takes over his lips. "Thank you- for telling me... even though it's bit terrifying to think about, and even though its just a rumor, I'm glad to know." He says softly, staring up at the archangel but not quite making complete eye contact.

Rapahel nods once. He felt guilty, ruining the peace that the principality was feeling before he had to go and mess it up. "Right, well I should get back to work... the stars wont create themselves." He says, forcing a chuckle.

The principality chuckles as well, nodding slightly and stepping back. "Right, of course. It was nice meeting you, Raphael." He says softly with a kind smile.

Raphael nods, turning and stretching out his wings to take off. But he stops for a second, turning his head to look at the principality. "I hope we meet again." He says softly, uncertain the principality would even now at that.

But the principality just smiles wide, looking excited. "Yes, I hope so too!" He exclaims.

Raphael smiles gently before taking off into the sky, letting his wings carry him to where he left off last when creating the stars.

#good omens #good omens fic #angel crowley #crowley is raphael #raphael #aziraphale #gomens fic #before the fall #crowley #crowley good omens #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #writing #my fic #my writing #chiroyu writes

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livingasaghost · 4 years

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is this too personal? should it go on my private journal blog? maybe so. but i don’t fucking care.

listen i know to fall in love is like THE PEAK of the human experience (for some people, or at least that’s what the allo world has led me to believe) and i do in fact know it EXISTS like i know true love is real and it’s out there and people are living a fairytale where someone will stay married to you for like 30+ years and they will do ANYTHING you ask them too just bc they think you’re cool but like.........the fuck of it all is that i still believe romance isn’t meant for me

way back when i started this blog when i was but a dumb high school child i would always get pent up on line UGH ALAS NO ONE WILL LOVE ME I AM GROSS AND STUPID! (which like...valid) and i kept feeling shitty bc everyone was falling in love (none of those couples save the one shitty one survived that hellhole) and no boys would pay attention to me (me, a girl who stayed at home 90% of the time, did no extra curriculars outside of guitar lessons, and did not EVER interact with the boys in her classes unless forced to) and also i think i just hated myself (still valid sometimes) ...wait where was i going with this...OH YEAH i kept feeling sorry for myself bc NO ONE WOULD EVER LOVE ME and it felt like some huge travesty that no guy would ever tell me he thinks i’m special and beautiful and that he would do my laundry for me if i asked (the golden standard honestly). which like...in some ways, might be true. i do think true love is special and i think everyone deserves a shot at finding that, but i think it’s been cool to see my views on all this change over the past few years.

it’s not that i don’t believe in love. it’s not even that i believe i’m undeserving of it or that no man will ever find me attractive (bc honey i am GORGEOUS and i don’t CARE). like i think if i put myself out there and did try to go on dating apps or meet people at parties or go to bars i COULD do it. like i DID go on a date last year and that guy was VERY MUCH into me. and it was sweet. it was nice to have those nervous butterflies bc OMG WAIT YOU THINK IM CUTE??? NO WAY like yes that was nice! so clearly it can happen! it’s a thing! but like...i think i’ve become more exposed to that stuff and i’ve been in those situtations and i’ve realized that i am much more aroace than i thought. i still don’t think i’m aro, by any means, bc i genuinely love romance books (which means i like romance yes????? who’s to say) but like...man the idea of being IN A RELATIONSHIP...it’s weird man.

what’s odd is that up until like...2008/2009ish i don’t think i EVER was fantasizing about marriage/falling in love...at least not like that, not dramatically. i remember in 8th grade i went to oh lord it was a BIBLE STUDY OF ALL PLACES and the girls were like “so are you praying for your future husband????” and i was like uhhh what and then i SPIRALED SO HARD after that bc i was like FUCK I MIGHT HAVE A FUTURE HUSBAND!!! WOW!!!! A WEDDING IS SO PRETTY!!! I SHOULD HAVE THAT!! I GET TO HAVE THAT!! THE UNIVERSE/GOD OWES ME THAT!!!! I’M GONNA BE THAT!!!! and like the fuck of it all is that if i had never had that realization, had never seen bride wars or started a journal to my future husband (PLZ LAUGH BC IT’S THE SADDEST MOST HETERO THING I HAVE EVER DONE AND I HATE IT BUT I KEEP IT BC IT’S A JOURNAL OF THAT TIME OF MY LIFE) i don’t think i would have spiraled so much in high school fearing i’d end up alone. like sure when i started reading romance books i got sad too, but i don’t think i realized until that age that like...i was so invested in marriage? (yes we switched from love to married we’ll get to that - apparently it’s therapy time????) like i think i always assumed it’d happen for me bc doesn’t everyone get married and have kids? (my sweet summer child oh boy the brainwashing was deep) and it’s like.......fine. bc marriage is fine. love is fine and great whatever. (and i had a great marriage to learn from) but also...........all those expectations were pinned upon me when in actuality what i’m realizing now is that IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER!!!!!!

like i’ve been to a number of weddings now and i’ve seen friends get engaged, have breakups, fall headfirst in love and then fall out it just as quick, i’ve seen friends be single and have hook-ups and get married and have their heart broken and like....even though in my heart of hearts i know it’s worth it if you find it, i also know that i wouldn’t know how to handle it. like i’ve read books about it all, i’ve listened to the songs, hell i HAVE watched other people go through it all...but i still don’t know what mine would be. bc the fuck of it all is that 1) i rarely feel attraction to anyone, and i haven’t met someone i’ve been attracted to since 2010 (!!!!) 2) at the end of the day i don’t think i necessarily want a physical relationship (which is kind of half the reason people marry right?) and 3) i don’t think i can imagine myself being that intimate with another person.

is it possible? yes. maybe one day in another 10 years i’ll make another leap and i’ll be living somewhere like new york and i’ll meet some guy through a job or through travel or through some weird twist of fate and we DO hit it off and everything works out and suddenly i realize that i can only be comfortable with this ONE person and thus we take it slow and eventually get physical and get married and HOORAY ITS ALL FINE IM NORMAL and as it turns out the gut feeling i had at 16 was correct and i AM actually demisexual! could happen. i wouldn’t be totally shocked. but i also know that right now...it’s not a possibility. it would take a LOT for me to be in that place. and i think that’s the difference. ten years ago in high school i just assumed i was normal, i assumed if i got what i thought i wanted it’d all work out and be fine and i’d be happy bc I WAS IN LOVE. but the fuck of it all is that that first date i had? it was proof that you should be careful what you wish for. i don’t want a boy to kiss me. i don’t want a boy to hold my hand. i want someone to talk to, who likes what i like, who supports me and thinks i’m cool, who’ll buy me nice presents sometimes and see me for who i am and not run away. and honestly? i HAVE THAT. i have a few people like that actually.

what i realized was that what i ACTUALLY want, is for the butterfly feeling. that feeling you get where you’re like nervous bc the other person said they think you’re cute and they want to learn more about you and they’re interested in you and they SEE YOU and you feel the same way about them and you think they’re nice to look at and they think you’re nice to look at. that’s what i want. i want the butterflies. i want to be attracted to someone. i haven’t felt that in GOD so many FUCKING YEARS. i mean i feel that with fictional characters sure, but we all know that’s stupid and doesn’t count.

like i kid you not i’ve only been attracted to two (possibly 3, but i’m not counting the 3rd) people in my entire life. just two. (i don’t count the celebrities and characters and things although i guess if i did it’d be up to like 5-10 maybe) but like people i’ve met? two. that’s it. and it’s all so STUPID. bc it DOESN’T MATTER! like i feel weird being like LOVE ISN’T FOR ME I DON’T WANT IT! bc it feels like a lie and i do know i would like someone to fall in love with me. but genuinely, truly, i feel like a different person that the hopeless girl i was in 2010 bc...i don’t need it. i don’t know what i’d do with it. i don’t want someone to touch me.

the great thing about all this that i realized a long time ago is that this bitch is never going to have a bad heartbreak. and i know the saying better to have loved than never love at all.......but i do love. i love all the time so much that sometimes i can’t breathe. i just...don’t have that kind of love. and it’s okay. bc no one will EVER hurt me like that.

like i always said if i WAS going to fall in love it would happen ONCE like i will not be dating multiple people in my lifetime, hell i probably won’t even go on that many dates without finding THE PERSON bc in part i don’t put myself out there often, but mainly bc i KNOW people. i know myself, i know what i want, i have intuition about all that and i truly genuinely think that if i ever found it, it’d be that or nothing. bc i also think the person i’d be into would be similar. and i know people probably think that’s stupid and also there’s nothing wrong with dating a lot of people in your lifetime, in falling in love more than once, but like...i’m not that kind of person. i think part of me really does believe in soulmates, even if there is some level of free will in the world outside of determinism.

but because i feel like that, and bc of my very VERY private personality (who doesn’t let people in easily, who doesn’t care casually, who doesn’t give my heart away without protecting itself) i just don’t think i’d ever let myself...oh no here is a dark truth YIKES...i don’t think i’d ever let myself feel that deeply about someone.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well this is an interesting thought

which is the PERFECT start to a romance novel i might add

like i feel a LOT don’t get me wrong. i may repress my emotions but ya girl has a lot of passion a lot of love a lot of feelings for things. and i do love some people A LOT. like friends mainly. i love them SO MUCH (too much) and the ones who are STILL my friends...i have learned how to let them live their lives. i love them desperately, they inevitably let me down or move or fall in love (jesus christ it’s the worst) or whatever, and then things shift and i tell myself “hey you know what? it’s okay, you’re clearly no longer the most important thing in their life, so you can just pull back and not invest so much in them bc clearly they want to invest in other things and that’s okay!!” and then i move all my affection to someone else who DOES want it at that time, and thus i let people go bc i give them the space i assume they need and then the space gets to big and we can’t overcome it bc i don’t know what i’m supposed to fight or go back or try again or whatever and then they don’t fight for me (maybe bc i didn’t fight first, maybe bc they just stopped caring about me) and then suddenly...it’s over and i’m sad but i’ve put so much distance between us that i don’t really feel anything anymore. like oh my god what the fuck

literally my heart’s self-destruct protocol is that when i notice someone slipping away and stop caring about me i just assume the worst and immediately stop caring about them and then they can’t really hurt me. so the ones who HAVE hurt me are the ones who directly called me out and lied to me or did something bad. most of the people i drifted from who i once ADORED really only stopped being close to me because i thought they didn’t want me around anymore and i didn’t want to be annoying. (or bc i pushed them away bc i didn’t want them but that’s another thing) so like truly i think it would have to be someone being MEAN to me out of nowhere bc otherwise i’d just be like “it’s cool, we grew apart, i’ll get over it” (which i dont believe someone who really loved me would do) ahhhhhhhhhhhh

...

so anyway we all know this is hypothetical and obviously i wouldn’t know how i’d genuinely react if i fell in love but we also know that i WON’T fall in love in the next 5-10 years (prove me wrong by tyler joseph) but it’s fucking VALENTINES DAY WEEK and literally this happens every year bc i try and convince myself that HEY! YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE IN LOVE DAMMIT! but then sometimes i think FUCK! I WANT TO BE IN LOVE DAMMIT! and it’s like honestly yeah mood....but they can coexist. i want to fall in love. i know i would not do well in a romantic relationship right now. i also know i deserve love, and i would be a great partner to someone. but i also know it’s all complicated and fucked up and difficult and i don’t meet people anyway and i wonder if my real partner is somewhere waiting in new york and and and and and and and i’m just so FUCKING SICK OF IT ALL!!!!!!! truly!!!!! i’m sick of feeling inadequate just bc i don’t want to kiss a boy. i’m sick of feeling obligated to fall into society’s romantic norms. i’m sick of waiting for someone to love me and treat me well when i have people who do that already. i’m sick of my friends falling in love, sick of people having their heart broke bc they fall for shitty people...i’m sick of shitty people breaking other people’s hearts for no reason. i’m sick of my awesome parents and their absolutely beautiful true love. i’m sick of being single. i’m sick of daydreaming about what it’d be like to be romantically attracted to someone. i’m sick of reading romance books and i’m sick of wishing i was in one. i’m sick of being asexual. i’m sick of allosexual people. i’m sick of watching people make out. i’m sick of my friends falling in love and then treating their friends like shit just bc they only care about their significant other. i’m sick of VALENTINES DAY!!! i’m sick of weddings!!!! i’m sick of conventional hetero norms!!!! i’m sick of love songs and dating apps and feeling like my worth is tied to someone loving me romantically. i’m sick of SEX OH MY GOD PLZ MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!

i can’t believe my therapist tried to tell me that i would always be a little lonely if i never had a romantic/sexual partner. fuck that. you don’t need anything but your friends and your family and your own self love. god is big enough.

I’M NOT LONELY I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO SEE AND UNDERSTAND ME AND LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM!!!!!

...

just had a weird thought that i can never be an authentic christian bc half my friends aren’t christian so around them i act like christanity is a joke (in some ways it is?) but i also can’t be authentic around my christian friends bc some of the things they say i can’t fully stand behind either bc i am a secular person too and it’s just like WE REALLY CAN’T WIN HUH GOD!!!!! i love being unknowable!!!! at least i have laura shes the only person who understands both sides that’s nice

oh my god i get to hug laura the day after tomorrow

...

anyway.

can’t wait to be the random single family member who shows up at all the family gatherings while all my cousins get married and have kids! i finally have accepted that i get to live that dream and WOW IT FEELS GOOD!!!!!!

#love #marriage #asexuality #demisexuality #vday #why does vday even exist #im not even mad im just like......do we need it #i love capitalism #personal #sorry if you're on mobile just SCROLL PLZ

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pearlheir-archived · 5 years

Photo

I made Jacqueline on a whim after marathoning the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, and I couldn’t get the idea out of my head over what if those characters had kids and were included in the Descendants universe, and thus this blog was born. I’ve always had a love for the franchise ever since the first movie came out when I was twelve and over the years I’ve just come to appreciate it even more for its originality, creativity and adventure.

This blog has been so much fun to experiment with and getting to know everyone that’s followed me and interacted with Jacqueline has made this account worth sticking around for. I would have given up a long time ago if it weren’t for the amazing amount of people that have supported me and loved Jacqueline as much as I do. So, as a little celebration for hitting my first big milestone, I wanted to thank a handful of you for making this experience great—for being welcoming and kind and just inspiring me to delve deeper into a character than I ever have before.

So, thank you everyone! I’ve done my best to account for everyone, but if you aren’t on this list, please don’t be discouraged! I love everyone that’s followed Jacqueline and I’m only human, so unfortunately that means I’ll inevitably forget some people, but know that you’re still valid and an important part of this community!

( note: i can’t keep up with how many blogs some of y’all have, so if i list more than one of your blogs im a mess im sorry LMAO )

---------

@heiresea @seasaltair @sonofdwarf @islepride @auroriaroyal @boycrowned @duskgathers @evielette @shefairest @seaspower @florcntissimae @isleqveen @islestranded @islehurricane @wharferat @wasntallbad @witheriingsouls @wshdreamer @championmourned @chrmiing @cursebloomed @darlingflight @deadlcrd @fairsts @fableborne @grimhildeheir @hethieves @hetechs @devillains @hepirates @piratehook @piratecrowned @kimpossibl @mutinouscaptain @martyrcrowned @crystallos @castershot @motherswings @hornedkid @revenqes @southbled @bmbshl @shemaddest @unhooked @vanityrevolt @worthyend @youthflight @notdopey @denydefeat @behindaccents @dranokill @writermoore @syrenid @backwardstars @cantsingtm @snakesandspells @charmsuits @finiarcl @hatcharmed @cheertm @crowninherited

#✖ » the real captain of this ship ╱ out of character.#follower count //#w HEEZES #im gonna cry #i love u all ok

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rubberduckyrye · 5 years

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god im sorry if im flooding your inbox with questions but uh got anything about ur ocs theos and richard? (sorry if i've spammed you with questions i can't tell if i've actually hit the ask button or not sometimes oof)

uhm, how about your OCs richard and theos(?)

Not the same anon but could you describe theos

I’m finally getting to these, wooo!

I’m going to mostly focus on Theos here, but if you really are curious about Richard, let me know! I just. I felt bad cause I was drawing a reference of Theos but it took a while and I couldn’t really get to Richard, sorry;;

Okay, so a little bit of history for this;

These characters are two parts of a trio that I made with @celestriakle waaaay back when we were both in the NiGHTS fandom. These characters were based off of Wizeman the Wicked, the big bad final boss of “NiGHTS into Dreams” and “NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams.” If you want to watch a let’s play of the latter (as it actually has story/a narrative to it where as the first game has only game play. Older games had their stories mostly written in the little booklets that came with the games) you can watch this here. NiGHTS is like, the OG purple gremlin child and they are such a mischievous delight. The game sadly hasn’t aged well and wasn’t like, the best of games, but I still hold it fondly to my heart and I’d say it’s got some great concepts.

Anyway! If you want just a very rough summary and not watch 5 hours of a game; Wizeman the Wicked is the self-proclaimed god of Nightmare, which resides in the Dark Ocean underneath the Dream Gate. The Dream Gate allows dreamers (called “visitors” in the game) to enter their dream worlds of paradise (or, more accurately, worlds created by the reflections of their hearts) called “Nightopia.” However, Wizeman is constantly sending his creations, “Nightmarens,” to steal fragments from the hearts of visitors (these fragments being called “Ideya,” and are Courage (Red), Purity (White), Blue (Intelligence), Growth (Green), and finally, Hope (Yellow). The Ideya of Courage allows visitors to unlock their first Nightopia, and if they can gather the remaining Ideya, they can unlock new dream worlds. In these dream worlds are little creatures called “Nightopians,” which are like… fairies, I guess, to simplify things. There’s also an owl creature that doesn’t have a clear origin, and his name is…. Owl. Real creative, I know.

Another thing–SPOILERS, IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED FOR THE NIGHTS GAME, STOP READING AND WATCH THE VIDEO AND COME BACK TO THIS–that is important to note here is the Nightmaren. There are three levels of “nightmaren”; Third levels - the weakest enemies, the ones you find wandering Nightopia that get in the way/stage enemies; Second levels, which are “boss marens” and are the Nightmarens who have taken the ideya from the protagonist visitors and are keeping it hidden in their lairs, and finally, First level Nightmaren; to which there are only two. A pair of “twins,” if you want to call them that. Reala is the first of the two; he is very loyal to his “master”, Wizeman, and is considered the general of the nightmaren army. He’s portrayed as cruel and even sadistic in a way. The second first level Nightmaren? NiGHTS themselves.

NiGHTS is a renegade Nightmaren that has rebelled against Wizeman for an obscure reason. Fans love to speculate on it, but there is no real “canon” reason, only hints that NiGHTS might be more ashamed of where they come from than they’d like to let on.

Why is this important? Because it ties in to Theos, and consequently, Richard and Cyrus–Celest’s character, though I won’t talk much about him here since that’s her muse/character so go ask her about him if you’re really that curious. Either way, I’ll note here that Theos, Richard, and Cyrus are all “parts” of Wizeman. Think of Steven Universe and “fusions”, except this was created long before Steven Universe was airing. So Wizeman is a “Fusion” of these three characters--though the three “humans” that make up Wizeman are called “The Fragments.”

Anyway! Moving on.

The initial translation of the “NiGHTS into Dreams” biography for Wizeman was mistranslated, I do believe, but it suggests that Wizeman is a “Visitor with no Ideya” and among the first intelligent life form to exist in the world of dreams. Long before I even met Celest, me and an ex friend/boyfriend (don’t ask) of mine laughed at the idea, but them we started pondering the logistics of that information, and created Theos. He worked on the original story for Theos (which I can’t remember for the life of me, it’s all been scrapped though) and I made up a design.

So for reference, here is what Wizeman the Wicked looks like.

Here is what Theos used to look like. Be warned, it’s old as shit art! Wow, this art is almost ten years old, holy shit–

And this is what Theos’ current design is, plus a very sinister looking goop monster.

The first design you see on the most modern design (the more obviously human looking form) is Theos when he was alive. His eyes are actually a dark, dark brown, but they are hazed over. I forget the technical term for it, but anyway, it left him blind. This was kind of a problem, a huge problem, for Theos--because he was born during the age of Sparta.

For those of you who don’t know, Spartans were very vicious awful, and if an infant was born with a clear deformity or disability, they were doomed to be abandoned in the wilderness and left to die. Theos was born blind, and very visibly so. However, his mother had died during child birth, and her last request was that her baby live a happy life. To honor that request, Theos’ father convinced everyone that his child was a prophet of the gods, and that his blindness was due to an ability to predict the future via his dreams. He warned that the gods would strike Sparta down with vicious rage if they killed the baby boy, and that when Theos does pass on from the realm of the humans, he will report his life back to the gods. He managed to convince them that Theos was, indeed, a prophet, and he was an exception to the rule for about eight years.

However, his father had grown resentful and hateful of his son for “killing” his wife, and making his life a living hell, so he decided that he was tired of it all and threw Theos into a river, where he drowned.

Before Theos had died, he discovered the dream gate, and discovered that he was a lucid dreamer. He created a creature he named “Owl” (yes, this gives Owl an origin story) and had all five of his Ideya before he died, thus had access to all of his Nightopias.

However, when he died, he hit his head on a rock and fell unconscious just before he drowned, and a remarkable series of events occurred.

First, his mind and soul went to the world of Dreams.

Second, his lucidity started to violently lash out, as he himself was panicking and in a lot of pain, and started to change his “body.”

Third, all of his Ideya started shattering.

With the unique circumstances of his death, Theos’ soul transfered from the waking world to the dream world just before he died, sacrificing his Ideya to stabilize his form as a “creature of dreams” instead of as “a visitor.”

From there, after the horrid traumatic experience, Theos tried to seek comfort in his nightopias--nightopias that no longer had Ideya to support them, and thus were destroyed. Devastated by the fact that the world of dreams basically rejected his being, Theos threw himself into the Dark Ocean--the Sea of Nightmare--and was engulfed in the madness below.

This is where the fourth and crucial yet remarkable event occurred. You see, the goop monster depicted in the drawing I did is called “Dream Force.” The state of it in that picture, is when it takes on the negative thoughts and feelings of visitors, thus turning it into sludge and into “nightmare” force. This is a personal creation and headcanon of mine, but I imagine that the Dark Ocean is basically made up of “negative” Dream Force--or, Nightmare Force.

Now normally, when visitors die in a similar manner like Theos, they don’t last long in the dream world. Their souls eventually lose power and fade as they finally pass on to the next life. However, Theos was the first visitor to have “tamed” the Nightmare Force through his own lucid powers, and using the Nightmare Force as energy, he was able to survive for centuries--but at a cost. Being surrounded by nightmares, horrible, violent thoughts and feelings, and all that good stuff, only fueled the hatred and despair he felt. So, Theos grows more and more angry, hateful and resentful of the human race, wanting to be rid of it.

That’s basically his story, tbh! I don’t really know what to do with him, though me and Celest are planning a rp-to-fic thing of the Fragments, so he might just star as a NiGHTS oc.

Sorry this took so long to get to :’D I hope that satisfies you curiosity about Theos at least. I might do Richard another time.

Anyway! Thanks for asking~

#Anonymous #theos #oc

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