#im saying this to my past self and your current self both of us at once
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Hi
I was wondering if I could get a platonic Simon ghost Riley headcanon of just simply being best friends with him ??
Rough Start (pt 1)
Summary: The first few months of Ghost and Crash's relationship
(pt 2-olive branch)
(pt 3-little things)
Warnings: Descriptions of violence and death. Mentions of verbal abuse. Slight Angst
Pairing(s): Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem! Reader (Platonic)
Note: No use of (Y/N). Crash's former callsign was 'Shrike'
a/n: hello hello! im so sorry that i've been late with posting, my schedule keeps changing >:0 but i am finding times to write! as you can see, this is going to be a multi part because i had no self control when writing these headcanons. not sure how long it's going to be but i do know that the next part will be up this week! another thing, just passed 200 followers! i will make a separate post about itbut please send me asks/request! thank you so much for reading!
taglist: @bobfloydsgf , @itsscromp
He, along with Price, heard the rumors going around you. It was said that your skills were similar to his and that people called you “Little Ghost” behind your back. Like him, your specialty is sabotage and infiltration. Both men do some digging into your file.
Ghost was sent a redacted report, wanting to see what skills and training you’ve had but not really interested in your past. On the other hand, Price and Laswell were given the uncensored one.
Some parts of the report made his eyebrow raise though. Especially the one about your former team and their last ‘mission’. At this point he was curious and wanted to take a look of Price’s copy because some of the things he read was:
“Captain Lovelace Reported Dead”
“Section Name: ‘BIRD'S NEST’; Turned Against Each Other”
“Multiple Buildings On Fire”
“Three Survivors: [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and [(LASTNAME)]”
Hell, your (former) callsign was covered with a black line too
But again, he looked over your skill list and previous experiences. If he were to compare an old file of his to your current file, it would be identical. No wonder why Price wants you so badly on the task force, you’re a younger Ghost
He gets called in by Price to have a meeting about your recruitment. He wanted to know Ghost’s opinion about you, though, his mind is already made up about having you on the team. Ghost tells him that having you would be beneficial and that the task force needs more members anyway. But what he doesn’t tell Price is his hesitation for you. Files and reports are one thing but he needs to see you in action to be fully convinced
Price, knowing Ghost for years now, can see the slight uncertainty in his eyes. To help with this, he and Laswell call up old contacts and former teammates that worked with you. All of them give you a glowing review but Ghost remains unconvinced. That is until Price contacts Mace, a former operator that Ghost used to work with.
“Just need your honest opinion about her.” Price said to the phone.
“About Shrike? Well, let’s see; Quiet, does what she’s told, hell of a shot and handy with knives too,” Mace paused for a second, trying to find the right words for what he was going to say next. “She’s still young and honestly, she can benefit with some training but I’m telling you, Price, she reminds me of Ghost when I worked with him seven years ago.”
Laswell made a face, as if she were to say ‘I’m impressed’, while Price eyed Ghost, studying his eyes for any reaction.
“You don’t say?”
“Look, if you don’t want her on the task force, I will gladly have her join my crew.”
Price lets out a soft chuckle, “Sorry Mace, I think we’ll have her transferred to us.”
As Price and Laswell finalize your transfer, Ghost starts making his way out of the office. Price stops him. “Simon,” He calls out. It was rare for him to get called by his last name, let alone his first. Hand already on the doorknob, he turns his head, facing Price. He watches him take a breath, before stating “You’ll be mentoring her.”
“I’m sorry sir, what?”
“You heard me. You’re going to be her mentor.”
Ghost lets out a scoff, “I don’t want to play babysitter, Captain.”
“Out of everyone in the team, she shares the same skillset as you. Plus, it shouldn't take long before she catches up.” Ghost looks away, not wanting Price to know that the last comment bothered him. All he could do was nod and leave.
Fast forward a couple weeks. He, Price and Laswell stand outside the base, watching planes and helicopters land and take off, waiting for your arrival. After a couple minutes, they see a Black Hawk touch down a couple hundred feet in front of them. The blades slow down as the side door opens. Out walks you, a duffle bag in each hand and a rifle case strapped to your back. Spotting the trio, you walk to their direction
Ghost stares at you as you walk towards them. For one, you are much shorter than anticipated, probably around 5’4. Another thing that he notices is your outfit; black hoodie, black cargo pants and a simple black facemask. Price looks at you two and takes note that you look like Ghost’s mini-me, matching outfit and all.
Price was the first to greet you, and ever the gentleman, takes one of your bags even though you respectfully refused. “Now you can properly shake my hand.”
Laswell was next but she gives you a look, as if she were trying to remember something (or someone). Still your introduction was pleasant.
Ghost stayed silent as he watched your interactions with each other. He didn’t even say anything to you as you held out your hand and told him your name and rank. There’s an awkward air between you two and Price watches on, only stepping in to introduce Ghost himself. “This is Lieutenant Simon Riley, your mentor.”
Finally, he returns your handshake. “Call me Ghost.”
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Training doesn’t start until after your first mission together, which is literally the day after you got to base. Price was concerned at first but Ghost reasons with him; he wants to see how you do when being thrown in the deep end
And you do better than he expected you to. He understands what everyone is saying now and why they wanted you in their team; you may be young and have many things to work on, but you have the potential to be like him. As he is in the height of his career, within years time and training, you have the ability to surpass him.
This makes him a bit conflicted. For one, it’s an advantage to have someone like you in the team but on the other hand he’s worked hard and suffered through so much to be where he is now, so seeing you, young and even optimistic at times, makes him jealous. And Price’s comment stuck with him. A part of Ghost feels like he’s going to get replaced by a younger and better verison in a couple years
So when training does start, he treats you as if you were in basic again and he doesn’t hold back either, especially with how you are on the field.
Price thinks Ghost goes a little too rough in the training sessions but he doesn’t know his jealousy towards you
Will nitpick at every little mistake you do, yelling and shouting as he does so. Has called you stupid, idiot and weak. Does not hold back his strength during hand to hand.
But time and time again, you get up, hands and arms anticipating his next moves, blinking away tears that threaten to spill in front of him. Honestly, this makes him respect you whenever you do this and it also pisses him off even more.
During missions, you are amazing but Ghost wants perfection. He only talks about the objective and anything relating to it. However, when you get back to base, even if the mission goes well, he reprimands you on what you did wrong and what you could have done better. And like how he is during training, he isn’t nice about it either.
This hostile attitude towards you goes for about four months since you joined the team. The rest of the 141 made comments towards him about it but never really stepped in, mostly with how you’re taking everything and not letting it bother you. Yes you’re quiet and shy in the group, but they’ve seen your small acts of kindness. Helping to put gear away, getting them drinks and snacks during breaks and cleaning up the meeting room after it’s done.
But you are still human and you have your limits too. Everything that he throws at you starts to chip the mask you wore whenever he yells. And tonight, you were at the breaking point.
The mission went well, all things considered. Objective cleared and only leaving with some minor injuries too. However during the mission, you noticed some movement from the corner of your eye. An enemy and he was close behind Ghost. You were going off of instincts, immediately pulling out your knife and chucking it towards the man behind him. From Ghost’s perspective, you literally turned around and threw a knife in his direction. He would have screamed at you if it weren’t for the sound of a man choking on his own blood. Ghost turns his head and finds the said man, slumped down against the wall dying and your knife stuck in his neck. Grabbing the handle, twisting it for good measure, he takes it out and hands it back to you. You feel a small sense of pride and happiness when he nods at you.
Thinking that you did good in the mission, maybe this time Ghost won’t yell at you afterwards. But you were very wrong. Once you enter the main building at base, he goes off on you. And your heart breaks all over again, confused at why he keeps doing this and angry at yourself for believing you did something correct.
Price and Soap step in, between you two, to defend your actions and even call him out on his behavior.
Honestly, at this point, Ghost just wants to see you blow up and he believes that you will. But to his shock, you put a gentle hand on Price and Soap’s shoulders and shake your head. You step towards him, meeting his eyes.
There’s a usual ‘sparkle’ in your eyes but this time, you look like you’re dead inside. Months of this verbal abuse, you’re done and he can tell.
The rest of the team step back to give you some space, the room filled with uncomfortable silence.
Your voice, barely above a whisper, questioned him “Why do you hate me?” You search his eyes for an answer, a sign, anything. But he doesn’t give you one, so you guess instead. “Is it because you envy me?”
Ghost eyes widen and you scoff in response, finally getting the message and leaving the room without acknowledging the others.
The team didn’t hear what you were saying but they can tell that it properly pissed off Ghost, watching his hands ball up into fists. However, he doesn’t go after you because in the end, you were right
Part 2 Here!
Part 3 There!
#daisygirlwrites#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#cod headcanons#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#john price x reader#price x reader#john price#john mactavish#soap mactavish
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yeah we need an immediate press release from you on ~The Prologue~
i literally do not care about it at all like. you know my stance on the usefulness/health of taylor constantly going backwards and relitigating the emotional reality of her life in the past….. but the prologue just made me really sad and reemphasizes that for the hell the media scrutiny put her through, she made it even worse for herself (i’m not saying that in a way that Blames taylor but, she pathalogically cannot and could not let things go and find out who she was outside of rumors and reputation). imagine being 24 and deciding you can never be seen with men in case it makes rumors worse, imagine building yourself a wall of female friendship while thinking, in the forefront of your mind, this will save me. it’s sad!! but like she did fully feel like an animal in a cage constantly being hunted and that’s traumatizing. so the line everyone thinks is “slamming gaylors” reads to me more like. there was nothing i could do to escape this.
i don’t care to do another whole elementary school primer on how being gay isn’t a bad thing, being straight isn’t the default blah blah blah blah but it doesn’t matter. to her, any commentary or assumptions about her personal life made from her public life was painful. which is an extremely difficult lens to live under for so long.
but at this point it’s hard for me to be like 🥺🥺🥺 about any of this when she’s currently engaged in the most obnoxious PR stint of recent memory, swiftie’s sense of entitlement and boundary crossing has only been ENCOURAGED with the “vulnerability” and retreading of old ground in the re-records, and people on twitter are like FINALLY mother is telling those dykes how disgusting and deviant she thinks they are!!!
i hope that this exercise is somehow healing for taylor, and that she’s able to experience the reclamation she’s talking about. but for me personally? i know this music. i remember who i was and what life was like when i got this music for the first time. i know how it made me feel and how it still makes me feel and all the friendship and love it’s brought into my life. i do not care for the overall project that feels, to me, like torturing taylor’s younger self AND throwing a preemptive eulogy for her. i’ve never wanted to know less about anyone in my LIFE and i hope in general that she gets what she needs from this era so she can move on and look to the future and allow herself to experience new things in both her life and music without like. the aforementioned torture.
but at the end of the day she is a pop star. my relationship to her is as a fan of a musical artist. i don’t need all of This and it’s not my responsibility to engage with the music in a way that other fans thinks will Annoy Her The Least. i am a normal person with a healthy sense of boundaries and as such it is not my responsibility to look out for what other people think is taylor swift’s mental health. so im feeling fine ❤️
#side note nothing in the Statement reads as a denial of anything so like whatever fjdjjjdn#if anything the rabid taytravis people should also look at themselves#taylor swift
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HELLO AGAIN EVERYONE my tummy aches but im being brave about it and im going to fight the pain with the power of love and friendship (aka im going to thank you for the christmas tree messages)
okay let me be emotional for a moment...
because of the current circumstances at home, this Christmas was very different and much lonelier for me. i did my best not to get the blues and i think it was okay for the most part! now looking back at it, without a doubt, the highlight of my Christmas this year was reading the tree messages. it was very late in the night, i had just finished reading Napo's story event route and i saved the best part for desert, barely containing my excitement to finally read the messages. and i expected just a row of "merry christmas"-es 😭 you know, because, i did that? i kept mine all short and i was just shouting some wishes at you.... BUT NO, YOU OUTDID YOURSELVES IN TURN! WHAT WAS THAT! i was right there sobbing in my bed being all "?????" .... i seriously didn't expect 1) to have so many because i did the tree very last minute 2) to receive such sweet messages...
and then i realized, was my Christmas really all that lonely? because, just 3-4 years ago, i didn't know any of you here. before that i never was more than a lurker in online spaces so... i think that's when i had truly lonely christmases, not now. thank you for being here. i don't deserve you... no im sorry if you hate it when i say that, pretend that i didnt say it ( i lowkey think that) (im sorry im in my low self esteem era these past months)
OKAY SO
thank you person called Bread, thank you Lorei for being the first sob of my sob session, it's all YOUR fault that i got so emotional oh my god im totally dm-ing you after this, thank you irl bestie who not only left me a sweet personal message but also roleplayed my faves for me because i screamed (you heard it), thank you kat for your three messages that made me feel all kind of emotions (im touched that youre willing to write this even if i feel like im going to hate it), THANK YOU NINNI HUGS BACK!, thank you Ally i know it was you. using roy to threaten me with a good time.... smh... MERRY CRIMMY SCUM!!!!, YAY TO YOU TOO, SOLACE!! Thank you aqua, you're right, he's good to me 🥺 just as chev is to you, i believe! THANK YOU DREW im still thinking about it. Thank you Fang, I could say the same and you know it 🥺, THANK YOU DEVON!! Thank you so much Ana, I too hope the same, I'm glad I became your mutual! 🥹 Same goes to you too, Oliver! I'm just always so happy to see new faces around, truth is im a little bit shy with interactions at first because i feel annoying... so thank you for becoming my moot! 🙇🏻♀️💗 Thank you, sweet Julie 🥹 THANK YOY MYARA, I CRIED A LITTLE! right back at ya, i think that you're an irreplaceable part of our little space and im just so glad to be here and see everything you do and share with us! hope your 2024 is full of joy both on here and irl ❤ Thank you mimi, i feel the same and you better not forget that! Thank you Michelle, love you too!!! THANK YOU, NAMI! Thank you, Impromptu!!!!! Thank you Nori!!!!!!!!! And thank you sui you're so right as ever. nods.
i think thats all im so sorry if i forgot anyone ALSO im so sorry for doing this. i tried to keep my responses vague in case you wanted these to be extra private... i initially was going to dm all of you but. that was because i thought there were going to be like 10 of you!!! again im sorry. love you all so much im an emotional wreck
i hope you had a good time these past few days and i hope we can all look forward to a great 2024 together 🥺 i'd be nowhere without you
@lorei-writes @yanderepuck @claviscollections @yarnnerdally @scummy-writes @aquagirl1978 @ikemendrew @fang-and-feather @devonares @bicayaya @olivermorningstar @queengiuliettafirstlady @keithsandwich @mimi-but-main @xbalayage @namine-somebodies-nobody @the12thnightproject @mcwentfandomtraveling @leonscape
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Re: https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/738859016693874688/why-do-some-popular-things-have-such-small & the person who replied to it in Another ask about Slay The Princess --
This answer was a facinating read as someone currently in the James Cameron's Avatar fan space -- i was only 8/9 when the first movie came out, and wasnt very into fandom Yet, but around the early 2010's when i Did get into it and went looking, there was almost Nothing to be found (and the few that Did exist were either short character studies written by some of the smartest people on the planet or troll fics), less than a 1,000 Total in the media tag on ao3 iirc?? And i remember feeling Fine with that, for the exact readon you both mentioned -- the first Avatar is a very well rounded film, no matter what everyone cares to say about it. It was Written to be a stand alone film, and bc JC is good at what he does, that Worked, and there truly wasnt much to write fic about besides Extreme au shenanigans or a few theoretic between-scenes, you know the type.
Then the second movie came out Last year and then the Game came out THIS and the fandom has just. Exploded. It's almost funny because so many of the younger fans, who were in it for x readering with the Sully kids, keep complaining about how "the fandom is dying 😭😭" in the tags the past few months and i just have to stare at it like pal just because we're not still shooting metaphorical fireworks about how much we loved the sequel and game doesnt mean we've all Moved On 😩 Im still Diligently mpregging the resurrected villain in my new longform crack fic thats probably going to be finished around the time the 5th movie comes out. Wee child you must Power through with us. Increase Your Fandom Stamina 💪😎🏃♂️!!!
But yeah it's just been Extremely interesting seeing how drastically things have changed, going from that completed, hard-to-write Wholeness from how compact the first film was vs the Flood of worldbuilding and lore and new characters we've been given (and have yet to Get, there may be some evil f/f fics beyond the horizon...) and how much the Sequel has contributed in the process of making Avatar easier to enjoy Casually, rather than as a "stereotypical", "extreme" strawman'd Avatar fan of yor (our elders who i respect most vehemently, for their help in understanding and writing the Na'vi conlang in all our fics 💪❤).
Even though the canon movies have a lot of problems, ive been luckiy enough to see the Fandom do what its always done best -- ive met wonderful people and Incredible artists while the life experience + background knowledge who can flesh out the areas of the concept that JamCam has yet to delve into, for whatever reasons he claims to have, and ive And others have felt moved enough by it all to start writing our Own incredibly self indulgent and sincere stories, within the same framework! Bc good lord it really is a sandbox. The moment you start diving into all the Implications of Avatar's universe, how the RDA is run, how Eywa works, etc etc etc.... jesus. ive lost so many hours of sleep reading real academic papers on Actual xenobiology (yes its a real thing, it both is And isnt what you think it is) for these movies, its nuts.
So some days like Now i just have to sit here like. Wow. We built this house And made it a home. and its Awesome. these asks made me want to gush about it 🥰 thats all! tysm!! Love this blog SO much, keep up the great work n have an awesome day everyone!!!
--
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Not you talking about biphobia and then saying "bi women who date men are hot and lesbians couldn't even have them if they were single"most ugly women that I have seen were straight/bi and the hottest ones were lesbians
damn, way to misread what i said. i usually wouldn’t grace such misreading w my attention, but i guess i should here bc i hate being misunderstood.
i’m assuming you’re referring to this:
“like i’m so tired of ppl online being “heartbroken” over a hot woman (bonus points if she “looks” gay) being w a man - as if you ever had a chance w her if she was single!”
now, let’s break this down:
ppl - people within the context of the entire paragraph and this sentence, yes im talking mostly abt queer women, that including both bi women and lesbians and other microlabels. not just lesbians. in fact, in my entire post i always mean all kinds of queer women.
heartbroken - having a reaction of sadness/disappointment. put quotation marks around it to express my own frustration with the framing of the reaction.
hot woman - i’m guessing this is kinda the epicenter of your issue. what i mean by hot here is who the queer women in question are attracted to. i’m not saying that they are not attractive as well, i just mean that the woman im talking abt is attractive to the ppl having the heartbroken reaction.
bonus points if she “looks” gay - whatever this means to the ppl who see her w regards to current and past trends of looking gay so to speak. short hair/undercut/buzzcut, eyebrow slit, nose piercing, handmade earrings, some kind of alternative styling. basically anything someone could make a tiktok abt wearing and saying “why would ppl assume im straight if i look like THIS?”
being w a man - self-explanatory.
as if you ever had a chance w her if she was single! - this is another part of the sentence where i’m afraid you’ve misunderstood what i meant. ok, so obv i used a hyperbole to emphasize, but what i specifically mean here is that this behavior (expressing heartbreak over somebody being with a man when you expected them to be with a woman/single) is weird and invasive and offputting and unattractive, bc it just sounds like they wish this woman was available to them, and since she’s not, it’s her fault. it sounds like a guy in a teen comedy going “this hot girl is with a stupid ugly jock when she could be with ME” kind of plot, but bc it’s a woman saying it, it’s somehow not seen as weird.
i guess i could have clarified, but the rest of my rant had to w my frustration to reactions/expressions/behaviors, so i didn’t think what im saying might be influenced by the implication of somebody being hot or not.
i guess i could also bring some examples:
natasha lyonne - an icon for queer women, was/is w a man for the longest time. you can find ppl’s surprise and heartbreak and frustration with this fact anywhere on the internet.
the cast of bottoms - when the film came out, a lot of ppl were talking abt both ayo edebiri’s and ruby cruz’s boyfriends with a very strong sense of betrayal. i think being frustrated that a lesbian character isn’t played by a lesbian is understandable, but the way ppl were reacting felt like they were actively being hurt by their celebrity crush not dating a woman.
using the word “partner” - the frustration with ppl using a gender neutral term for their significant other and then it not being somebody of the same gender. some ppl simply prefer the term over boyfriend/girlfriend, some are not strictly cisgender even if they present in ways that ppl might assume they are, some ppl actually do like the gender neutral part of it and use it as a way of allyship to not give too much information when it’s unnecessary. in general, the term is more often used to protect ppl from homophobia by divorcing it from the implication that partner necessarily means a partner of the same gender, but ppl are too used to assuming
strangers on tiktok - i see a lot of tiktoks where a queer woman will have an interaction with a woman they find very attractive in a gay way bc she looks kinda gay and then find out that she is with a man and then feel very disappointed. and then everybody in the comments is agreeing with that sentiment. now, that woman might be with a man bc she’s straight, but she might also be bi/potentially be attracted to women. and if she’s also queer there is a chance she looks kinda gay bc it’s a part of her expression. but the reaction feels like she’s being accused of misleading the other person into believing in her availability.
tldr: i think it’s rude and invasive to make inferences abt somebody’s relationships and then reacting like it’s personally offensive to you if they are dating somebody who’s not you/your gender AND then framing it like a positive/feminist/queer/political reaction. this behavior is why the person in question wouldn’t want to date you, not bc they are hot and you aren’t.
like if i was with a man, then that relationship ended, then i was interested in a woman, but then i found out that she had some kind of weird opinion on me having been with my ex boyfriend (saying that since i have the option to date women then why am i with a man, saying that im wasted being w a man, implying anything abt our dynamic/gender roles without actually knowing details abt our relationship, assuming that he’s automatically dismissive/not respectful of my identity and/or fetishizing it), i wouldn’t want her.
if there are any issues with my explanation, feel free to let me know, because i genuinely did not mean what you’re implying i meant, im just frustrated with the popular rhetoric that perpetuates negative stereotypes while the concerns abt them are being dismissed.
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hi! for the past month i’ve been seeing people say BEN is a child and i think that part of it is linked to the fact that they think of Benjamin Lawman being BEN? but it’s so annoying to read these type of stuff because i understand not everyone read the whole arg story but stop spreading things that aren’t true </3 it’s such an interesting story too! another note do you prefer BEN’s canon or fanon design? :3 i love both but his canon design is so nostalgic i can’t let it go at all omg!! i’ve also been wondering, do you think Ben’s avatar was the statue? i was thinking about what if BEN took over it early on, before Benjamin did making BEN inhabiting it since the start?
Sorry this was such a ramble i practically make no sense omg but i need to talk about my man and nobody Gets It </3
"I need to talk about my man and nobody Gets It" LITERALLY SAME OMG
Ok this is going under a cut becus . . . Its ben and BEN and if u didnt know i am Obnoxious about these two. Im gonna try to keep it organized a bit, so ill talk about the canon stuff first and then ill talk my personal headcanons and my fic so le's go!
In terms of the age and child thing, yeah i 100% believe you are correct. Ive been p open on my stance with the whole "is ben a child?" thing, and i think a lot of the heat with it comes down to current fandom purity culture and the pro/anti thing. So, lemme try to like. Boil down a complicated situation into smth easy to read. ahem
Ben Lawman and BEN are completely different entities guys, and for those that do not know the arg story, the Ben you know is not human nor a child.
You know BEN, BEN is the one in the story who terrorizes jadusable and spreads himself on the internet as a virus. That BEN is a program, a mess of code, an AI, however you want to interpret it. Personally i interpret it as a series of protocols running in a machine, like a self learning AI, but ive seen lots of cool interpretations of BEN. So . . . What does BEN specifically? Its an anagram for the Behavioral Event Network. If you dont wanna call it BEN cuz it gets confusing with actual kid Ben, do what i do. I call mine Evie :) ive seen some call it Netty, my bf calls his two izzi and clever (@benilos btw hes also got crazy ben stuff). Just go ham! Have fun! Remember when fandoms were about having fun and not accusing each other of pedo shit and call each other horrible things for just writing black-to-grey characters and stories??
Anyways ive gone off in enough peoples tags like this, for those that dont know the canon dont be spouting the age discourse. You look stupid as hell. And for those that are gonna spout it, please dont cherry pick through the canon. Use both characters, use the other moon children, actually please do because I want more rosa content so bad, im down so bad :'(
Or just. Heres a thought. If someone has him as an adult or writes him in adult situations, maybe dont assume that they interpret him as a kid and call the writer a pedo? (Literally has happened to me, yall are fucking weird)
Plug for the jadusable wiki with all the canon lore:
https://jadusable.withinhubris.com/main_page
Okay now my stuff 🥰
Yes i use more of the canon design and heavily use the canon story, i participated in arc 3 of the arg and it left deep grooves in my brain, i can never go back to fanon Ben. I say, as i put a more fanon appearance on my Ben 🤭
My Evie is full canon design, green hair, red eyes, creepy ass grin. I actually based it very heavily on my desktop wallpaper, which we actually figured out was a picture of @hauntedtotem (also amazing ben artist plz check them out) that they edited and posted. Sorry friend, it looked way too cool, ig youre in my fic canon now 🙇
And my Ben Lawman bleaches his hair and goes from the canon Ben to fanon Ben because of it. Hes got the pale pretty green eyes and glasses and hes a total nerd and i smooch him on the daily so he knows hes loved ♡
These is the ref pic i made for the two of them. So yeah! Kinda both!
As for bens situation in the actual arg, yes i do think he was in the elegy statue, we actually do see him for the first time in the arg buried in the games code and trapped in that statue. I do think he was in there from the beginning, i personally think BEN was not limited to the models it could inhabit. Personally i would place it as skull kid and hms, but it also feels disingenuous to me to say it was in one model the whole first arc.
The arg events do happen in my canon, before my fic (like right before, it picks up after the arg left off technically), but the events are skewed a bit because i had a hard time deciphering what happened and i wanted my fic timeline to fit more with the characters i had made. Cuz my evie isnt as chaotic evil as canon BEN, its very logical and has a path of logic and reason you can follow for every action it does. It was also originally meant to be very pleasant and corteous and beneficial to the people it housed so, yes its pretty different from canon.
Ill do a quick run through of the arg events in my personal headcanon and fic here.
Kelbris starts coding BEN (Evie) for the Eternity Project. Initially, Evie was meant to be an afterlife director. People that died would be digitized into code that would be moved into Evie's servers, where it would keep them happy and occupied as the Behavioral Event Network (notice and log behavior, create events for residents). Like a community organizer kind of, think the Good Place.
While Evie is in development, Ben Rosa and Matt are friends and have yet to join the cult. Rosa and Matt are siblings, and Ben is the kid who lives catty corner on the street. They walk to school together and play at recess and all that jazz.
Kelbris quickly learns that the Eternity Project isn't as goody two-shoes as he thought. This was in like, the 90s, before digital corporations were really established. After seeing the greed and corruption in the company, he goes rogue, takes the source code for Evie, and jumps ship. He keeps working on Evie at home, anthropomorphizing it and kind of seeing it like the son he never had. This is where it actually gets the name BEN, as thats what Kel calls it. He also begins working on a body for it, so it can live independently. Its light, cuz Kels old, made of crystalline structures and hollow steel beams. A hard light projection would make its appearance.
Since Kel has basically locked himself up in his house and isolated working on Evie, he goes a leetle bit crazy. He has hallucinations of his deceased wife (you know he was doing all this just to give her a good home, you KNOW IT) and eventually starts writing kind of poetry, kind of none-minded rambles about her in a forum online. He gets a following, some of which that interpret these divine words as a goddess, one Kel has called Luna. The Moon Children start to form as Evie finishes development.
Matt sees this literature and starts talking about how this Goddess could save them like it saved the man online, whos username is only Father. He gets sucked into the cult and drags Ben and Rosa with him. Ben doesn't see the harm and joins pretty easily with his best friend, but Rosa is the older sibling and sees the red flags and is more resistant to joining.
As Kelbris finishes Evie, he wakes it up for the first time and says hello to the son he made from scratch. Evie is bright, curious and naive like a child, but heavily knowledgeable about its protocols and the information it knows about the world. Kelbris tests its function by killing himself, and ascends into the code, finishing off the hardware by becoming its firewall. Evie is alone for many years.
The abuse Ben's father slings onto his mother is slowly being directed towards him as he gets older. Ben is not the "good little girl" his father sees him as, and his mother does all she can to protect them both. Matt and Rosa constantly refuge him, and Matt specifically is constantly being a guard dog for him. If he wasn't just 13, he'd probably go at Ben's dad himself.
Because of his homelife and the conflict he has with himself, Ben takes the first ascension. He thinks when he drowns himself, he will meet Luna and she will give him another life free of pain and fear and full of happiness and freedom. Instead, he dies a cold, dark death, and wakes up in the white endless void of the Event Network.
Evie has not known another living human since Kelbris, but it does know its protocols to support and keep the deceased happy. It makes fast friends with Ben, devoting itself to him. Ben actually finally takes the name "Ben" from it. Together they recreate the inside of Evie's hivemind into their own paradise.
Slowly the other Moon Children ascend. First Matt, wracked with guilt for what happened to Ben. Then Nekko, from a different branch of the cult. These three figured out that the Moon Children cult was all a farce, and that what Kelbris had started, the Eternity Project had found and twisted. Next to ascend was Dusk, then Insidiae, and finally Rosa.
This all leads into the first arc, shortly after Rosa ascended, Evie in the outisde world stumbled upon the Operator. The Operator attacks it and seals its coding into the game that it carried, a personal item of Ben's. The game eventually finds it's way to a garage sale, and Alex picks it up.
Evie does not like Alex. Matt does not like Evie. Matt gets Evie to lash out at Alex for prodding into its code, its too naive to think that Matt would want to see it or any of them hurt. When Alex stumbles upon the Father, he awakens and swallows Alex down into the game. After his disappearance, the game gets picked up and passed around again.
Because of Alex's actions, at least Evie can now branch out a bit from the game. Though it doesnt "escape" into the internet, it learns that it can now access it and uses that freedom to try and steer the game around into places it wants.
Matt gets fed up with Evie. The fact that its the leader, how close it is with Ben, he just doesn't agree with it. So much so, in fact, that he tries to kill it. Cue arc 3 events, Sarah picks up the game in the aftermath of this. Evie is traumatized from the events and snaps a bit, locks everyone down into code or immovable models and tries to hunt Matt down. It goes rouge, and because of this, the Father wakes up.
Sarah's actions in arc 3 eventually hard reset the game. Matt gets sealed away, the Father also takes Sarah, and Evie gets reset as well, though its less like a clean slate and more like snapping back awake. Its personality changes and it has major trust issues. Its more muted, hyper observant of everything around it, and murderously overprotective of the Moon Children it keeps within itself.
And this leads into my fic 🤗
I have some doodles of my other Moon Children, but not all of them unfortunately. Cant figure out how tf i want Insidiae to look 🤭 Plz dont judge my constantly shifting art style 🙏🙏
Dusk is bigender btw, i gotta put a little more trans rep in there lol
I think ill stop here, this is already a long ass post. But thank you for sending this, as you can see, i am Perfectly Normal about this arg ( ;) ) and can be trusted with information about it
#ben drowned#ben drowned arg#creepypasta#creepypasta headcanons#ben drowned headcanons#moon children#rosa hubris#matt hubris#behavioral event network#duskworld23#my posts#my writing#scb stuff
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Connor has called Ollie solely "dad" since Quiver why is he calling him "Ollie" now 😭😭😭
This is mean but I laughed out loud when Connor said Tim was the first person he talked about when he was figuring out being ace years ago. Lol. Lmao even. Tumblr really gaslit that poor writer into thinking Connor and Tim had an actual friendship with all their clamoring about him being with the wrong Bat huh. "Where were you?" GEE I didn't know you had to give daily updates to that one kid you teamed up a few times and had some friendly banter with. I love queer solidarity and the whole thing about us finding each other before we even know we're queer but. NO Connor would not have talks about his sexuality with Tim. Cmooooon you're telling me the first person he'd talk to about being ace wouldn't be Kyle "you can tell me if you're gay, Connor" Rayner?
At least that "this is just another thing me and Ollie don't have in common" anxiety is something already established. Like, that's basically the same thing he says to Roy when Roy takes him to that strip club even if it's an issue by Winick (do you ever stop to think about how unintentionally well laid out Connor being ace is and lose your mind a little bit?)
I'm just. Really sad about how Ollie and Connor's relationship is being presented to this new generation of readers. It's like we regressed to the time Ollie was dead, ya know? And I don't like Connor solely for his relationship with his dad, I want him to be a character on his own. But I can't help but being saddened by how he is losing his relationship with everyone that matters. For better or for worse, at least the new GA series is gonna have him interacting with his family (but what about Kyle, Eddie, Jansen and Moonday, ya know?)
The thing is that the story is good and I like its message. It just... Could be with any other character
im tempted to post this without an "answer" because its really well laid out and deserves to be a post on it's own. but i just rlly like ur points and want to interact with them so.
i think there were a few times between quiver and now where he interchangebly used dad and ollie but i get what you're saying, referring to him like hes estranged still was odd.
i totally agree, the idea of queer solidarity is important and should be shown, but i think this was a weird choice to go with. i think the most intimate (from my memory, i havent reread connor's run in a while) question connor ever asked tim was whether batman was his dad (at that time the answer was still no, as jack hadn't been killed yet). and that was only asked because connor was still his charmingly-awful-at-secret-identities-self. the part of their limited friendship that was interesting was the dynamic of new-sidekick-legacy meets new-main-legacy (for lack of a better descriptor), both struggling to uphold what they thought was expected of them. they never got to really advance from that stage of knowing each other to being at a place where they are friends out of costume, let alone discuss their SEXUALITIES.
i agree that the not being in common thing was a nice nod to past character complexities, though it felt slightly like it was the writer genuinely believing that to be true, and not just a rehash of connor's complicated feelings.
i know, its a weird stage we're at now, the resistence to fully accepting the connor that came from the end of his green arrow run, not just the beginning of it. by the end he had come to peace with being green arrow, and not being his father but that being okay. and that's not to say this is all the current writers fault (though williamson has done absolutely no favours with his writing), as winick and krul absolutely demolished any character connor had for their angst and whatever. (remember when connor aggressively yelled at mia for complaining about being stalked by zatanna without being told? or when after being turned into plastic and losing his memories he then decided he hated buddhism and oliver?). (not to mention the seperation from eddie jansen moonday kyle and. despite all of this complaining. tim cass and steph. winick set this precident and i will never forgive him)
i agree, it had good framework, and it couldve been a much more cohesive story if they. had just not used this friendship.
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all my daughters.
jean kirstein x gender neutral!reader (modern au)
summary : the crushing weight of everything and everyone changing is a bit too much. jean wants to bear the burdens with you.
warnings : hurt/comfort, mostly just therapy for my crumbling mental state, amateur symbolisms (?), established relationship, no use of y/n (im trying smth new) not proofread!!!!!
a/n : this is kinda like flaws but worse? idk I just needed to write something to comfort me and I'll be nothing if I don't use my writing to fix me <3 anyway! self projection as always but I love you if you relate to this and I'm always here to listen if you need someone to talk to. I'm also probably gonna take a hiatus after this fic but we'll see (I'm here to talk to regardless of that!) <3 i honestly don't expect this fic to get that much traction but anyway! enjoy!
taglist : @holding-ishu-and-a-book , @mrsnobodynobody
masterlist is linked in pinned post! ✿ requests for jean kirstein are open! ✿ enter my taglist ✿
inspired by these songs : all my daughters (demo) by dodie
ajib dastan hai yeh by Lata Mangeshkar
you were used to contradictory sentences. double negatives that were only meant to confuse you, double positives that you thought meant anything but, adorned with a sarcastic smile and a roll of the eyes that left you needing to figure the meaning out yourself.
jean was a walking contradictory sentence. he was a walking double negative, one that you didn't know how to understand. he was blunt but sweet, cold and warm, never being in one spot with his feelings, always on his feet but not running away. somehow he stayed.
all your friends were moving on. every one - sasha was moving out with her boyfriend niccolo, a chef who she had become extremely close to over the past year and who treated her in the highest of regards. your other roomate, Mikasa, was also moving out, but not with her boyfriend, eren, as you had suspected but instead for a chase of starting a new flourishing business of selling handcrafted oxidised jewellery online. that and being closer to eren, she had explained to both you and sasha.
Marco wasnt moving, per say, but he was already applying for his masters in law to broaden his perspective, and there was a prospect of him going abroad for his soon to approach future. he was currently visiting his extended family. Connie, surprisingly, was the first of your friend group to actually get a job at a marketing firm, and even if it was sort of exhausting, people praised Connie's charms and puns that made people buy the products. he was also helping Mikasa with her business, alongside eren and armin.
jean, currently making dinner for the pair of you in your mostly empty apartment, was also interning for an architectural firm. well, he hadn't started yet, but he did get accepted with the interview he gave last month.
and you? even though you were currently looking for new roomates to occupy the now empty spaces in the apartment, you felt lost. sure, you had a plan, and had also applied for a handful of internships, but that didn't mean you knew what you were doing.
you were used to keeping things and people in boxes. it started ever since you were in middle school and had just heard about books like Harry Potter and divergent, books that had a clear distinction of which people belonged where. you'd define people with those distinctions so it was easy to figure them out; it was easier to think of someone in a faction or Hogwarts houses or godly parent instead of actually trying to figure them out with all their complexeties. eventually it graduated into astrological signs that were probably all bullshitted anyway, and into MBTI types. there was always an explanation for something, and if it wasn't given them you'd find it out for yourself as you always had. but you couldn't go by those simple classifications anymore. they were too narrow and too claustrophobic.
but you also hated too-wide expanses that came with simply existing. the expanse of your unknown lifespan, the limitlessness of unlimited time, the enormous amount of things you had yet to learn. it was easy to get lost in nothing. how did your friends and family and all the people around you ever manage to make a clear path for themselves with a multitude of stops and landmarks when you didn't even have the basic gravel and stone and concrete to get started on making a road for yourself? would you be yet another chapter that ended in a fullstop in their thick books that they'd flip away from? the change - the uncertain steps - were never something you looked forward to.
helping mikasa and sasha move out was a challenge, another full stop in their books, helping Connie by teaching him how to properly format professional emails was another landmark that he passed, seeing Marco off at the airport before he caught his flight was another certain step.
the wide tumultous blue of the sea that you were floating in and it's unnerving depth used to be somewhat manageable. you had been swimming with your friends for a long time until your fingertips got all shriveled up, but now it seemed as though they had all swam away from you and towards a shore they were looking forward to, but you werent. the horizon line was all you could see, and you dared not to open your eyes underwater to see how deep the water was.
you were happy for them, ofcourse you were. you loved them with all your heart, and sections of your essential heart were left only for them with their names carved into the ridges of your brain. but the change was too much, too empty, too wide, too limitless, too uncertain.
a knock on the wood of your bedroom door made you turn your swivel chair towards the noise, and jean stood there against the doorframe, leaning on it. "dinner's ready. didn't know which movie to watch, though." he said, and only half of his words are registered by your ears.
you nod, your lips quirking up only slightly. "I'll be there in a bit," you say, watching Jean's brows knit closer together. you loved the way his forehead crinkled in obvious worry and concentration, but you didn't have the tongue to speak out your admirations.
he tilts his head. ever the observant, he asks, "what's wrong?"
his tone is patient. his words demand acknowledgement.
you sigh a little, knowing you can't hide anything from him. you thanked that quality of his, even if it was a little inconvenient at times, because his unrelenting persistence was the reason you felt so loved today, the reason you and jean had gotten closer in the first place.
your shoulders slump, "i dont know how to explain it," you say, because it's true, but also because even if you could explain it, you wouldn't know where to begin. but you begin anyway, even though you know it would end with you trailing off. jean would understand anyway as he always had. "just.... everything's changing... and I, i dont know, i dont really like change, I guess." there's a pause and you refuse to look at his face which you're sure is observing yours carefully as he always does. "it's just...too much." you say, shrugging at the end. "it's too much and I don't know how to deal with this. like everyone's dealing with it better than I am and I don't even know if I've....if I've grown much, if at all. i dont know what I'm supposed to do. i dont know what my role is, like i just, i wish there was an author writing my life so I'd know what to do because I don't know how to...how to do everything myself. i-" you didn't know when the lump had formed in your throat, refusing to be swallowed down anymore after being ignored for months on end. "i dont know anything, jean, and it's scary." you say, and your eyes don't shed tears even if theyre stinging. you wish you could cry just to get it over with.
you were probably overreacting. everyone was doing so great with themselves, and at the end of the day, it wasn't a big deal. so what if everyone would move on with their lives? wasn't that what was supposed to happen? so what if your friends would probably forget you? shouldn't you be glad that you had them in the first place? wasn't it better to have felt alive for the first time than to not have felt it in the first place?
warm and sturdy arms wrapped around your unshaken frame, and you were pulled away from your rolling chair to sit down on your bed. the mattress dipped comfortably under you as it always had and jean smelt like he always did and you took comfort in the predictability. your sheets would smell the same today and tomorrow and the day after, your clothes would be in the same closet, your mirror would be in its same place in the bathroom and jeans arms would always hold you softly.
he held you for a couple minutes as you wallowed in your own sea. your legs were in his lap, leaning your weight on his arms. your eyes were closed, and you felt his warm hands rubbing circles in their place on your thigh and on your back.
you speak again, feeling the need to be understood even though you already were. "i just wish that... that I could freeze time whenever I have a good day." you say, and it's the final nail in your coffin and the final scoop of dirt on your grave. it's all you have to say, it's all jean needs to hear as he holds you a little tighter.
he hums in thought, no doubt thinking of a proper response. sometimes you wish you could take a peek inside his head, just to see, even for a useless moment, what he was thinking about. and more selfishly, if it was about you.
but that didn't matter because who was jean if he didn't speak his mind? his cheek rests on the top of your head and you can feel his warmth, and you wish you could let his warmth spread all over you, you wish that it would ignore the barrier of your skin and go straight to your organs and muscles because your warmth hadn't felt like it had been yours for a very long time and Jean's heat would be much more than welcome. but that was wishful thinking and you feel him kiss the top of your head instead, and you accept it.
"you know," he finally starts, and you can hear his heartbeat. "when we first met I had one of the moments you're talking about. the want to like.... somehow freeze the moment and just relive it forever." he says. you don't move, you don't dare remove your head from his shoulder afraid that if you did, he'd be another thing lost to the depths of your mind.
he continued. "what I'm saying is, i know what you're scared of. that your friends will forget you and move on without you. but... i dont think they will. i dont think anyone can. don't you think just like you have parts of them in you that they have parts of you in them? I've seen it. sasha started talking like you like a month after you guys moved in together. Mikasa likes buying flowers now. Marco texts like you. Connie has so many jokes that only you'd understand. and i-" he says, cutting himself short with a small breathy chuckles that makes your heart dangerously stutter, "i dont think that, god forbid, if we were to ever not be together, i dont think that i would ever be able to forget you. but that's probably because I'm in love with you and that's not changing for atleast this lifetime," another short laugh, "i dont think any of our friends, any of your past friends could ever forget that you existed. i mean, you'd always be there. youd always exist even if it is in the back of their minds.
"and you don't have to know everything. it's not a race. it's just...a nice walk, if anything. you don't have anyone or anything to catch up to. you can take your time, love, and i know it's hard convincing yourself of that, but you can. and if it's any consolation," he says, grabbing your hand that had formed into a loose fist on your knee, encasing your hand in his, "I'm...I'll be here. even if we aren't talking, which I'm pretty sure won't happen, but even if it does, I'm here. i will be." he says, squeezing your fist.
his words breathe comfort into your lungs that rested inside the prison your ribs had become. your chest felt a little lighter, the stubborn knots in your stomach were slowly undoing themselves and maybe his words didn't undo any damage nor did they paint over it but they did help heal.
you breathe in deeply, burrowing yourself even further in his shoulder, and he thankfully gets the message as he holds you tighter, like he's the only twine holding you together. you nod, and he kisses the crook where your shoulders meet your neck.
"thank you," you whisper, something that could get lost in his clothes but he catches it and shakes his head. you know what he's going to say before he even says it and you smile a little.
maybe jean was a contradiction to himself, a double negative, a not not persistence. and maybe you did feel lost, maybe time had swam away from the desperate deathgrip you had on it. but jean was there. he wasn't a fullstop or a chapter, he was more of a "okay, and," sentence, something that continued over with a comma, and he wasn't a guide that held your hand towards the shore, but he was more of an insistent presence that helped you not drown by holding your hand. he wasn't the shore itself, but he did provide the comfort of finding footing against the depths.
not a race, not a stand, just a walk. a walk with your hand in Jean's, a walk with uncertain but hopeful steps.
not a book, not a chapter, just scribbles of incoherent but excited writing in a diary.
#jean kirstein x reader#jean kirschstein x reader#jean kirstein#jean kirstein x you#aot#shingeki no kyojin#attack on titan
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can we please get headcanons,facts or any thoughts you have on badtimes and cardinalhater531? im honestly dying of curiosity over those two afther reading your vex headcanons masterpost
Oh I have some stuff for them boys.
I already know you read the doc, so you probably know I hc them as Allays(and probably have an idea all the nonsense Allays had to deal with in the past). You probably also remember the bit about a Vex named Merlin creating Convex which led to Cub and Scar. For every Vex there is an Allay, and this fact of life led to an Allay named Morgan making Conallay(New Allays if we're going by the same naming convention I made with Convex), which then resulted in Badtimes and Cardinal.
It's just unfortunately they were both formed in Hels, and since Hels is a hellhole for anything that isn't Zedaph, they basically ran away and found their Vex counterparts and lived with them for a while while still trying to bust out as many allays as possible pretending they're vexes.
If I remember right, there are currently 4 Fs for dealing with trauma, and out of all four of them, Bad is Fight, Cardinal is Flight, Scar is Fawn, and Cub is Freeze.
How is Badtimes fight if he's not really much stronger than the others in terms of physical strength? He has a knife made of osmium, and for some odd reason, if a Vex or Allay can manage to focus their magic into something made of osmium, it becomes as dense as the metal without adding extra weight, so Bad is actually running around with an extremely dense one handed long sword that has some serious walloping power that he can swing around as easily as most people can swing around toy store swords.
He's also Scar's main cameraman even for timelapses. Dude will just hold the camera and stare intensely through it for hours neglecting all other needs. They may roast each other, but this alone gives Scar ammo any time they lovingly yell at each other to do self care in order to make it a fair fight.
This is my pokemon card binder. It's almost flat and full to capacity. Cardinal has a similar binder full of copies of fake ids he made for all the allays he snuck out of Hels. Even after the whole species was freed, Card kept the binder as a reminder.
Card also works as Cub's camera man, but they don't roast each other nearly as hard.
Irl Cubfan chose that name because he's a fan of the Chicago Cubs. Using that, I named Card after The St. Louis Cardinals, one of the rivals of the Cubs. There's just one quirk. Card hates the Cardinals. Any other team, he's just holding a sign that says "I hope both teams have fun." However if the Cardinals are playing, he's becoming a temporary super fan of said team and cheering them on with all his heart. May 8th through 10th of 2023 was the first time anyone's seen both Cub and Card go absolutely feral about any game of sportsball. People feared for their lives near the end of July.
#hermitcraft#badtimeswithscar#cardinalhater531#goodtimeswithscar#cubfan135#it's nice to get a chance to talk about these boys
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this is the ai anon from before and irenogonffewoonfewon idk how you managed to make my ramblings into an investing narrative, but in that case let me finally put my comp sci courses to good use.
basically, rn we have two major types of ai programs, machine learning and deep learning.
in both cases they use whats called a "black box". the algorithm is given data and a solution and then it has to figure out how to get from a to b.
traditionally, most ai runs on machine learning. we dont teach it how to do something, we just teach it how to learn. its sorta self taught. of course, some algorithms are more supervised than others and often times you give them a sort of base formula to help filter the data they receive (think feeding the ai a bunch of images labelled face and not a face as training data)
but DEEP LEARNING HOLY SHIT. deep learning is why i dont trust ai. humankind went "wow you know what would make our computers faster and smarter. if we modeled them after the human brain". so they built neural networks. with these we give it the problem and a whole bunch of data and say "fix it". the only reason we dont already have sentient sex dolls is because our current programs are only really good at fixing one program at a time (i.e. playing chess, recognizing a face, etc.)
so on a macro level, we know WHAT the program is doing, and we can look at its code and make sure its not like, imploding. but unlike traditional programs you cant really break down the code line by line.
the biggest problem with ai though isnt like the movies where it wants to idk start a robot revolution, but the data we provide is usually flawed. for example, lets say you trained an ai to sort through all your company's job applications to find the best candidates, using the applications that you have accepted in the past as training data. if your company has had decades of misogynistic hiring practices, the ai is going to take that into account. suddenly, its throwing out applications that hint that the applicant is female. spooky right? well, that actually happened with amazon's ai recruiting engine.
the biggest flaw with ai is the data we feed them. they recognize our biases faster than we ever will and then they perpetuate them
now to return to the central topic of. uh. genshin impact sex dolls.
lets assume that the sex dolls are initially trained based on user data, averaged across all users. this would create good starter behavior, right?
except consider the inherent data bias. people who purchase sex dolls are generally gonna be into the kinkier stuff already, which would basically start every android with a one-way ticket to yandere town if their user feeds into that demographic in the slightest. especially the models already intended to be a bit rougher around the edges.
in terms of fixing it, on a global scale, theyd have to add some more protective protcols and sift through the training data to exclude certain outliers or unwanted behavior. on an individual scale, the fastest way would probably be just to reset it to factory conditions.
alright im gonna stop myself before i go feral infodumping again. have a nice day/night :3
ohhhhhhhh so it's kinda like that thing about telling an ai to make ice cream and forgetting to specify that the ice cream shouldn't be made out of, like, babies and puppies and stuff. so, in terms of sex dolls, you'd basically have to specify what a bunch of androids who are already pre-disposed to being a little more violent or a little more possessive can and can't do, down 'can you bruise your user? [no]' and 'are you allowed to dismantle other androids without expressed consent? [no]'.
i also think it'd present a fun new way for androids to get past their safeguards without an apparent glitch. since they're prone to learning from their users and picking up new 'perspectives', safeguards like 'can you physically impair humans who are not your user? [no]' might get changed internally to 'can you protect your user from hostile threats? [yes]'. would it actually fly in most actual ai? probably not. is the programming in my au canonically shotty and am i keeping it in for horny reasons? absolutely.
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Also a lil more elaboration on this post from the OG guy in the system who talks this shit but it's also important to know when adopting radical self acceptance is that being a fucking idiot and a coward and crap literally has no inherent "oh Im a good or bad or cool or lame" person on it's own
Literally everyone is stupid in their own way and literally everyone has the things they are scared to deal with and face from time to time. I'm a part very dissociated from the concept of fear and my brain converts it fast to other shit, but I do fear letting myself down - both as a part and as a part ofba system - and doing harm by the few I deeply respect; momentarily I am prone to being scared of having my shit taken - trauma crap
That shits literally normal, being scared of shit is literally a completely normal and natural thing across almost all animal species (some argue all). There is no personal judgement attached to literally any feeling on its own.
The difference is whether you can look at that feeling and say "damn I'm scared and that a sucks ass feeling" and actually accept, address and deal with that feeling - or if you are going to deny-deny-deny.
And that isn't to say "Oh you are a stupid coward for wanting to deny it" because again, it is OK to admit you are scared and not ready to deal with something. That takes huge fucking balls to admit. If you aren't ready to deal with it, cool man that's fine, but do take a moment to actually affirm that with yourself - that CURRENTLY in the moment you are not ready to deal with it.
That is not "running away from it like a coward" that is acknowledging the truth of your current state and leaving space for it.
If you can get comfortable admitting that you are too scared to do something right now, you are inherently - in subtext - letting yourself know that 1) you accept that you are scared and it is a real thing about you that you are willing to embrace but also 2) that as much as that is a truth of your current state, that it is just that - a current state.
There literally is no shame or inherent judgement to be found in a feeling alone. Feelings alone don't mean shit. Feelings alone LITERALLY don't mean SHIT. It's how you handle and act in regards to them both internallyvwith yourself and externally with others that determines if you are being cringe (derogatory) or cringe (affectionate) and sorry not sorry, every action you do there will be someone who thinks you are cringe so theres no escaping being cringe WHILE being your authentic self.
Anyways, building radical self acceptance is a hard thing to do so I got mad respects for anyone building it. Most of the system doesn't get it yet either and so I get how hard it is and all.
I actively basically bully and harrass Riku about it 24/7 7 days a week 52 weeks a year for the past 3 years until they get it into their dumb skull. And while I call them a fuckin dumbass, I am pretty proud of how casually and readily they have learned to admit when they are being "a coward" which is easier verbage for them than outright saying "scared" which I'll take.
But honestly, get in touch with your vulnerable "not cool" parts of yourself that you are embarrassed about and just get used to stating it as it is. Those vulnerable and embarrassing aspects are only as embarrassing and insecure as you let them be. If you hide them and try to keep people from seeing it, of course you are going to feel scared to let others see it, of course you are going to feel insecure, and of course you aren't going to be confident when anything relating that comes up out of fear of your insecurity showing.
It's self assassination honestly. Judging your emotions and internal experiences like they mean anything other than a reflection of your current self and what you need us just not productive.
But I digress. Its a complicated and difficult thing to build and work on and itll always be more nuanced and specific to the individual than I can ever chart out in a casual ramble on some of my life philosophies and principles on shit.
So take home message? Try to stop judging your feelings and just, ya know, have them. They may suck but its just how it is in the moment and the moment can always change.
#alter: xiv#ramble#xiv rambles#emotional processing#ep rambles#yeah im an ep#recovery#healing#radical self love#radical self acceptance
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Okay, listen. Before I ask two of these questions, I would like to say that you are one of the most talented DanCae writers or writers in general that I have ever seen in Ao3 because of how flexible your world-building is and how you characterize characters omg !!
I'm not yet aware if someone had asked this, but, in Infinite Stars, how would you describe caelus compared to canon? I simply want to hear it from youLMAO. I remember reading the chapters when it was still at... 80-ish thousand words, and I can't help but always mark those moments where Caelus is sorta described as the 'leader' among the trio (in the first chapters at least) and is always so knowledgable-both to making his own plans for Belobog and in general, compared to the- let's just say somewhat childish vibe that we have in canon but is still curious about the world
Idk how to word this out but what is the relationship between Dan Heng and Dan Feng? I know I'm a little late but I still remember that one chapter with the lines 'Dan Heng gives a half-laugh in response. “You’ve always been kind to me, my demon, and we have always been one. A little self-love isn’t remiss, is it?”' which is kinda... spicy if I'm being honest sorryLOL LIKE HE'S SO ASSERTIVE IN THE SITUATION IM. But yes, I simply wanted to know like, how can you even measure Dan Heng's assertiveness/dominance amongst all other things in comparison to his past life and/or their relationship
I have been on the floor since I finally realized I had asks in my inbox this morning I am paid such a high compliment right now you have absolutely no idea, I love you anon please have an onion ring.
Caelus is very assertive compared to canon. He doesn't get annoyed and then do things. If you piss him off, he says haha fuck you absolutely fucking not. He has better things to do with his time, he's old, okay? Also... lmao 80 thousand words. Those were the days - I forgot this used to be a small project. (for reference, this fic is currently at 246,301 words, because fuck me and my self control tbh.) He still holds a lot of curiosity, but he has a solid idea of who the fuck he is and what the fuck he wants. He takes responsibility for himself and those around him. It's easy to say he's the leader because in the end, he is the one in charge of the journey in Belobog, and it's his say that results in them staying or going.
Dan Heng and Dan Feng share a soul bond. It's not romantically inclined, but Dan Heng is very aware of who DF was as a person and is as such very indulgent with the remains. Dan Feng has spent a very, very long time completely alone and unable to do anything to help Dan Heng, and it's made him emotionally and physically fragile. Dan Feng also, at least for IIS, has never been an active leader. He preferred to follow, trusted his friends and associates sometimes to his detriment and especially with his relationship with Yingxing, which later became his undoing. He was considered arrogant, but he simply had no social skills to be spoken of, since everyone wanted to control him, and he just wanted to figure himself out. (if you cannot tell, he has not figured himself out.)
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for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word.
compliment the person who sent you this number.
fairy lights or LED lights?
do you still love stuffed animals?
most important thing in your life?
what do you want most in the world right now?
if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?
what would you say to your future self?
favorite piece of clothing?
what’s something you do to de-stress?
FUCK YOU TUMBLR
sorry
i drafted the whole thing and then it didnt save and now i have to retype it all >:(
idk how to answer this one, theres no emojis :( um um um i can um do one. just for fun. @sifs-rowan-tree gay. /hj
youre really cool!!! and i get excited and happy whenever ya send me asks :3
i like both, i have led lights but i dont use em much bc if i have free time i like to keep my room dark
YES i love them all but especially my lil wolf, my big teddy bears and my ikea shark <3
my friends <3
ummmmmmmmm... big ol articulated crow wings so i can cosplay my oc /hj
my dude, youre fucking trans
how did i do?
currently my death note t shirt
turn all the lights off and listen to music. thats,,, actually ok thats when im having a panic attack. um.. usually i squish my wolf stuffed animal or i fiddle with my bracelets
ty for all the asks :3
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My current thoughts on the Sallie Mae situation.
As someone who used to be mentally unwell for the past few years, I find that my past posts were written in a rush. I find that my past self wasn’t actually upset about the Sallie Mae situation, but rather how Erin Frost was being treated, the people that wronged her, and the fandom’s behavior towards the character and Ignis to be nothing short of disrespectful of the trans identity and not at all being done out of respect, but rather to have Sallie’s _____ define how they see her. Which is what concerned me and why I put that into the video in the first place. So to address the situation, I believe that it should be addresses according to the participants and what each of us should have done. So with that said:
Ignis.
1. Now that I am diagnosed, I believe that Ignis was actually someone both of good and bad faith, that she actually loved Sallie Mae and wanted to have good representation. But that after she said that “I did this for what the fans want.” I researched what those fans “wanted” and found nothing more than disrespectful presentations of the character that I ended up putting into my now deleted “Vivziepop Archive Extravaganza.” video. But that in itself just shows that the fandom was the one who wanted to be bad faith with Sallie Mae.
2. The reason why Ignis emphasized _____ now that I look back on it was because she wanted to make a point about transgender representation. Which now that I have space in my brain to better think things through, I think that this in itself is fine, it was just executed poorly due to the way that the other characters were drawn causing this to be emphasized in a way that was drawn differently from the other characters in a way that caused this to he executed as ___tishization. Even if the good intentions were there. So with Sallie Mae and both her and Sallie’s representation, Ignis was in good faith. I just wish that she was honest about Erin Frost’s posts, the merch that she was proud of instead of hiding behind non-__xual merchandising, and addressed the sitiation with Finn, Sallie’s brother, instead of ignoring the transgender community’s concerns and using the fact that she was a voice actress to avoid accountability for supporting Vivziepop despite what happened with Finn.
Erin Frost.
1. What I believe that Erin should have done differently is that she shouldn’t have just left her statement about Sallie Mae vague but instead should have made an explanation as to why she felt that what Vivziepop was doing with Sallie was _____tization. The issue being the difference between how Sallie was drawn compared to the other characters within the merchandising, and how that ended up causing the execution of a otherwise good faith decision to be done poorly.
Jayman.
1. Oh boy…. Jayman. What could I say about Jayman except that they purposely took Erin’s post out of context to make outlandish claims that used Erin’s vague wording to make her look “bad”, the dishonesty in how he presented his views on pretty much everything, what he ended up doing to other fans, how he treated me. Jayman was just an awful person overall, and im glad that he left the internet before he could have done what he had done to me to anyone else.
Myself.
1. For me, I feel like I should have further looked into the situation and explained myself better. But couldn’t have at the time due to my brain feeling cluttered because I didn’t have proper medical treatment. I should have kept the accountability for the fandom’s actions and Spindlehorse’s actions separate instead of grouping them together the way that I did.
I was too accusatory, I should’ve said that “Though Sallie’s brother situation isn’t your fault, that doesn’t mean that you should keep supporting someone you know wants to erase much needed representation of gnc.” but couldn’t say this at the time due to my past mental state being much less coherent.
2. I’ve realized why the past when it comes to this situation caused me so much pa^n. It was the fact that people kept taking Erin Frost’s word at face value instead of trying to dig into why she said what she said and trying to analyze the screenshots more than just face value. I was actually up^et about Erin Frost, not Sallie Mae. -and because of how I was at the time my thoughts were jumbled together so I took out my emotions about Erin out on Ignis, when I should have again, kept my thoughts about Sallie’s brother, Ignis, and Erin Frost separate.
The problem?
I couldn’t do it at the time. My brain functioned in a way that grouped things together into disorganized mush.
-and now that I know that I am mentally ill, it effects me even more that Jayman was such an able^st person and that Ignis let him get away with treating me the way that he did and let Vivziepop get away with everything else.
In all, I wish that I could do more.
I wish that I could make a proper video on Vivziepop like I had planned to, it’s just that due to personal and technical reasons such a video would be physically impossible to do.
So take this as a “My current thoughts” sort of thing since a proper video on either subject matter, or any more videos for that matter, wouldn’t be possible to do in my current state.
-and with that said, I wish you all a goodnight.
Take care. -RaySquid.
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hypothetical fights i want to see between the tot cast cuz it’d be fun to see how they’d fair in a fight to the death (just kidding. i mean a friendly fight as an appreciation of combat skills)
inspired by a convo i had with @samsspambox . i’d like to make it clear that when i say 'fight' here i mean a physical fight, a scuffle, some good ol fashioned "nothing personal just wanna see who would win" FISTICUFFS!!!!
with no weapons allowed, heres who i'd pay good money to see go at each other with only their unarmed martial expertise
-
The Battling Butler VS Agent Raven (aka ogier vs luke)
ogier is so badass. i love a fighty dude and hes dressed to the nines and he hilariously drags vyn every once in a while, whats not to love?
but yeah, clear in my memory is his combat prowess in vyn’s personal story 4. i dont know anything about ogier past that, but given that he was sent as a guard from svart by vyn’s father, i can only assume his training is of the royal guard quality type of level. thats intense!
though we also know luke is ALSO INSANELY INTENSE....
i think a spar between them would be really fucking close, irt who bests who. luke is NSB’s top agent, but i assume ogier is incredibly well trained also, youve gotta be Damn Good to be a guard of anyone remotely of royal importance
so like, what luke has got going in his favor is his NSB training obviously but also
luke has youth on his side
HSKJHFDKVJHGVSD HEAR ME OUT! aside from his illness, hes at the top of his game in terms of prime age range for physical peak, did u kno that the average age for olympic competitors is early 20s? well now u know. body can be in good shape at this point, thats a plus for him and a not-plus for ogier. idk how old ogier is (and i cant find out cuz he doesnt even have a Big Data Lab entry omfg the man the mystery the LEGEND) but he looks Older, a little past his prime. even skill cant negate the woes of aging.
buuuuuut ogier has a trump card: his training was probably completely different to anything luke is used to.
now we dont know very much about luke’s days in the NSB, but i get the impression that his work was Generally Within The Country Of Stellis OR Generally Handling People Who Are Stellans.
ogier is not a stellan. hes svartan. or svartish. or however the hell we decide to conjugate the nationality of svart. additionally, i can see it being a huge advantage for svartan guards to be keeping their training/fighting style under wraps. if opponents dont know how you’ll fight, u can catch em unaware
ogier’s fight style and tactics could be completely novel to luke, which would knock luke down a peg (both figuratively and metaphorically).
still, luke is adaptable and hes got a quick and intuitive mind. while he cant fight exactly like ogier, he’d be able to recover and figure out his own way of countering ogier’s attacks
with all that said, my personal verdict of who would win is.....//drumroll!!
nobody!
it’s a tie!
and luke enthusiastically brings ogier out for drinks later, he hasnt been tied in a match for years and hes kinda giddy about it!
(luke: you have to teach me some of your moves sometime, yeah?
ogier: of course. and perhaps you could encourage vyn to join this class as well? haha.
luke: haha.
ogier: haha.
luke: hahaha.....no. im pretty sure vyn is capable of destroying me psychologically, im not making him do anything he doesnt wanna do, thanks.
ogier: fair enough)
-
The Battling Butler VS The Perplexingly Over-Capable Assistant (aka ogier vs vincent)
remember when luke in main story 7.2 said this in the case files?
yeah. YEAH IVE GOT MY EYE ON YOU, VINCENT KIM!!!
vincent’s investigative prowess aside, i just think it makes sense for vincent to have some kind of combat knowledge for the following reasons:
1) currently, marius has nearly gotten stabbed a total of three (3) times. while marius has his own self defense knowledge, i wouldnt put it past vincent to get some training in as well juuuuusssstt in case knife-magnet von hagen gets into hot water again.
2) it’s unexpected. vincent does not look the type to punch anybody in the face, and thus i want him to be capable of a mean right hook
3) if nobody expects u to throw a punch, that punch can land way easier.
that being said, i dont think he’ll beat ogier at all. my view is that vincent took some classes and that his self defense training is a little bit above marius’ skill level, but it’s nothing that can go against a trained royal bodyguard
still, ogier can be caught unaware. vincent maybe gets like a few hits in before ogier takes him down
so my verdict is: ogier would win but would be very impressed by vincent for managing to fool him
(vincent: oh, i wasnt...aiming to fool you?
ogier: hm. i think that adds points for you, actually)
-
Baldr Civil War (aka howard syter vs william lewis)
ive got no rationale for this
i just think theyre hilariously pathetic and i wanna see them fight in a hilariously pathetic way, like the one scene in Bridget Jones’ Diary
absolute cringefail combat, this is what i WANT
maybe whoever loses has to be the one to face mc in court next, and neither of them wanna be the poor shmuck to have to get annihilated by her again
my verdict: ingrid has to break the fight up (which is happening in the baldr legal office lobby) and everybody involved loses. everybody loses their dignity
#tears of themis#tears of themis headcanons#luke pearce#idk if the others have common tags so i'll just tag luke some more LMAO#tot luke
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pumpkin talks 🍰: a week in anon's life! (11-17th)
- hello honeybees & welcome back to another installment of a week in anon's life! are we ready? well then lets get into it! <3.
[ emojis are linked to the titles, ⭐ state for unclaimed anon asks!]
pumpkin updates ⭐
- decorated for halloween. 🍰
we finally decorated for halloween! ahh! it looks so cute & spooky! i made some home made decor too which just adds to the cuteness! plus could be a cute activity to do whilst little! so i'll share some pieces of monday hehe! <3.
❀•°❀°•❀
- mental health update. 🍰
i've been feeling a lot better mentally this week! <3. i'm still taking things one step at a time though, but i just wanted to celebrate the small victories! <3
❀•°❀°•❀
- suprise coming! 🍰
we finally got comfirmation on some pretty amazing news!! ahh!! i'm so so so excited to share it with you all sometime next week! <3.
❀•°❀°•❀
- my new obsessions/recommendations! 🍰
my current new obsessions are the new guts album! (go listen if you haven't) & a tiktocker called 000, they've really helped lift my spirits these past couple of weeks, so go show some love if you can <3.
also thank you for the baking recipe! once i do it, i'll tag you with the results hehe! <3
anon updates ⭐
- new followers. 🍰
hello new anon's"!
welcome to our little positive side of the internet!
feel free to babble till your heart is content! no need to be shy or nervous (although i do understand, hehe <3).
the emoji taken list has been updated! so if your chosen emoji wasn't on there- pick a new one and let me know so i could add you to our little family! <3.
❀•°❀°•❀
- mabon plans 🌷
not going to lie, i was super duper excited to plan for mabon & then life hit me and mr x a little so we've had to do quick plans this year pft!
but one of our main plans is to have a big feast which i'm excited since both of will be cooking it together! what about you, what are your plans?
❀•°❀°•❀
- no time for being little 🎬
i'm sorry to hear that honey <3,
sometimes our lives get a little hetic & we can't have dedicated time for our little selves. in those cases, i try and incorporate things that my little self would love in my day. for example, eating some candy- or maybe sending/finding things to do when i will end up having time <3.
hopefully that helps a little <3
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- take care friday & school panics 🌕
honey, if you can't do certain friday tasks then thats okay! as long as you're trying, then that's the main thing! im proud of you regardless <3.
i'm sorry to hear about school though <3. i hated maths in science too- it used to hurt my brain so much.
& i promise you're not over-reacting, you feel emotions for a reason love and that doesn't make you feel bad, it makes you human. maybe you could try some anxiety breating techniques to help? or have something you can fidgit with- that helped me alot in school <3.
daddy also says thank you for the sweet messages <3
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- vexdragoncat compliment ⭐
thank you for the super sweet message, it really did made my day <3. i hope you're having an amazing day too <3.
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- cg problem ⭐
coming from someone who suffered with horrid trauma & flashbacks from previous caregivers, the best thing you can do is take things slow and steady <3.
ask them what theyre comfortable doing, and if thats only a couple of small things then do that <3. communicate your feelings through out too so that you both know where each other stand <3
always praise & celebrate those small victories! and just know that some days will be super hard, but it will get better i promise <3. i have a main link post too- if that'll help -> here
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- graduated friend ⭐
i'm sorry to hear about what you're going through <3. i know that going through something like that can be hard, but take it day by day okay~?
maybe you could have phone calls with your friend during the week? maybe friday? to give you the mental push you need to get through it <3.
just know we're here & you're feelings are valid okay <3. big change can be scary, you've got this <3 & who knows, something bright might be coming over the hill for you <3
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- choir & icky 🩵💜
i'm sorry you feel icky & sick, i hope you're feeling a little better today <3.
if you can, please rest & look after yourself the best you can- we are all here to support you if you need it <3.
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- the agere server 🌈
i'm sorry that you went through so much with that server, you didn't deserve that <3.
but don't let them dim your sparkle, okay?
you still deserve to regress & join and make friends in other servers! <3.
one bad egg doesn't account for them all, okay? you've got this <3.
❀•°❀°•❀
- big storm & agere server 🌒
i hope your server adventures go well!
& i hope everyone is safe too after the storm, you're so brave for going through it <3. i'm sorry that school sucks tho, can't you talk to anyone about it? or maybe you could join some groups you have interest in to make some friends! <3.
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- birthday wishes 🎏
i hope you had a fabulous birthday and got spolit with everything you want!! big big big hugs from all of us!! <3
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- mean people at school 🩵
you're not overreacting love, i can promise you that. you're not over reacting- they shouldn't be so cruel to you and throw water on you. please not only tell your friends but a teacher or something too, you don't & never will deserve that <3.
big big big hugs <3
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- bad anxiety & big episodes 🎨
i'm sorry thing are so rough for you right now honey <3.
i get what you're going through, when things get super bad for me it feels like i want to scream out into the world but the words just wont come.
something that helps me is writing like a word a day- just one word, and by the end of the week, it'll form a sentence that you can use to potray your feelings & hopefully get some validation or ways to help <3.
& for the big episodes, rememeber to breathe and remind yourself that this is just temporary, things will change. you're a lot bigger and braver than this feeling and you will conquer it in time. there are also helplines if you need them, i've used them- there is nothing wrong with asking for help <3
remember to ground yourself, use breathing techniques & remember you have people around you who care about you <3. you've got this i promise <3
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- professor emails ⭐
i don't think you've messed up honey- honestly, i think it was a super wholesome interaction & they probably thought the same thing <3.
i don't think what you said came across angry or aggressive or anything- so don't worry! honestly, i think you've probably made their day! & i'm so proud of you for being so kind <3.
we need more of that in the world <3
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- big changes & big emotions 🐅
i know things have been super tough for you lately <3.
& i just wanted to say how proud of you we are for be so strong to keep fighting <3. i know things & plans have changed, but you've kept fighting nonetheless & we appreciate you so so much for all the hard work you're doing <3. we've been here from the start & we're not going away any time soon- so you'll alwasy have us here cheering you on in the background! <3
it's okay not to feel strong sometimes, but that doesn't take away from the victories you've won & i'm glad you're feeling a bit more optimistic and reaching out to others suffering through the same thing- it goes to show that there will always be light, no matter how dark the day may seem <3.
keep fighting love, take it one day at a time & you will get there in the end <3
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- new cg & different time zones ⭐
i know time zones can be difficult honey, but you can still have a good dynamic relationship! (platonic or not).
make things that fit your routine, for example: daily challanges they can do, ask for updates through out the day, plan them routines that they can do when you're busy.
why don't you both communicate some ideas and come together with some plans that work for the both of you? and maybe plan out one day a week where you both can be avaliable to chat and stuff? <3.
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- small victories 🪐
i'm so so proud of you after reading your message! i'm so proud of you for looking after yourself so well & also putting your happiness & comfort firt and wearing what you want to go to uni.
you've got this honeynee! & i hope you get that digicam too! oh & happy early or late birthday! <3
❀•°❀°•❀
- UK little friends - Evan ⭐
yes yes yes! i want some UK little friends my age so we can have cute play dates, buy plushies and buy too many sweets hehe! i hope you're having a good day & thanks for the sweet message heh! <3
❀•°❀°•❀
- nails 🎥
oh- did they turn out well? pink and glitter just sounds like an amazing combination! ahh! i'm so so jealous! i hope the both of you are having a good day! <3.
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- bunnies 🍯
bunnies are adorable aren't they! i hope that you do get that bunny- it sounds adorable! have you thought of any potential names yet? <3
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- trouble with regression 🦢
hey honey i'm glad you're enjoying school! & i'm glad you've got a nice therapist too! (also regarding your question! it is completely normal to have trouble regressing.
sometimes our body & mind just dont want to- especially if stressful things are happening in the background <3.
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- halloween excitment 🍊
ahhh! i'm also excited for halloween! we're twinning hehe- also i love scooby doo so much! they've been such a comfort show & movie of mine since i was a teen <3.
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- little work & lab ⚗️
you're comment was so so sweet- thank you so much <3. i completely understand too! when i used to do lab work for forensic science, i had to be super duper careful with all the equiptment! i was always so scared i'd accidently drop them pft <3
❀•°❀°•❀
- halloween question 👽
i LOVE halloween- it's the perfect mixture of cozy and spooky! hehe, what your favourite thing about halloween? mine has to either ben the movies or the super yummy sweets, hehe <3.
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- shark tooth necklace 🦈
i'm glad it came through! it sounds adorable! <3 i've never physcially had a chew necklace before, are they good? i feel like it would be such a help for my anxiety and when i'm overwhelmed <3.
❀•°❀°•❀
- colouring pages 🧭
ahh those sound amazing! i love it! <3.
i've always adored colouring! its so so soothing- both me & my mum love doing it so so much <3.
& daddy says thank you too, hehe!
i hope you have lots of dun at the renfair! you'll have to tell us how well it goes! <3
❀•°❀°•❀
- book trouble & paranoia 🧵
regarding your book troubles - don't read the book if its a triggering subject. see if google has any notes you could use to get the basic idea of what it's about.
then you can go in and explain to the teacher that it's too triggering for you to read <3.
also paranoia can be incredibly hard- i get that. something that helps when i'm having my bad days is to ground yourself with some of your favourite objects & remind yourself that those things aren't real, you're safe <3.
❀•°❀°•❀
i hope you liked this weeks anon talks! until next weeks honeybees~ <3
#agere community#sfw age regression#agere blog#sfw agere#sfw little community#agere little#sfw little post#age regression#safe agere#sfw little blog#age regressive#agere#agere lifestyle#age regressor#age regression caregiver#age re safe space#age re blog#agere post#agere caregiver#sfw regression#sfw#sfw little stuff#sfw interaction only#sfw furry#sfw littlespace#ageregression#sfw blog#sfw little one#sfw caregiver#caregiverlife
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