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elliespassagerprincess · 7 months

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Headcannons: Milf!abby anderson x reader (part 2)

Part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

☆ Milf Abby who tries really hard to talk to you but you’re making it so fucking difficult.

☆ Milf Abby who tries calling, texting, literally all forms of communication but you leave her on read and you don’t even pick up.

☆ Milf Abby who’s frustrated but she knows she deserves it.

☆ Milf Abby who wakes up one morning to see you sent her a text.

With shaky hands she clicked on the message. The simple text read 4 words:

“me, you this Friday?”

Abby blinked, and she sat in silence for a while.

Holy shit this was happening.

She responded with a simple “ok ill pick you up at six”.

☆ Milf Abby who jumps up from her bed and yells “I got the girl!” But soon regrets it when Aubrey walks in and tells her to shut up.

☆ Milf Abby who was on cloud nine all week.

☆ Milf Abby who tells her coworkers about the pretty girl she’s going on a date with on Friday.

☆ Milf Abby who smiles at you, when she picks up Aubrey, and her heart feels like it could explode when you give her a little wave.

☆ Milf Abby who asks Aubrey what your favorite color is because she wants to wear an outfit in that color, because she read in an article it’ll increase her chances.

“C’mon baby tell me” Abby groaned.

“Give me chocolate first”

Abby’s jaw dropped. “Aubrey its 9pm, you know you can’t eat chocolate at this time”

“No chocolate, no color”

Abby let out a sigh as she walked out of Aubrey’s room to her secret chocolate stash. She pulled out a chocolate bar, and she gave it to the little girl. Aubrey immediately opened the bar and she took a big bite.

“ok talk”

“she likes green” Aubrey spoke with a mouth full of chocolate.

☆ Milf Abby who takes her daughter to bed, and orders a custom suit in green.

☆ Milf Abby who goes to work the next day and finds out they hired someone new.

“Who is he?” she asked while looking at Nora.

“I don’t know man”

“as long as she doesn’t break my record”

Nora rolled her eyes “of course he won’t abs, you’ve won the most cases in this whole firm”

☆ Milf Abby who tenses when she sees who was hired.

☆ Milf Abby who felt sick when he walked towards her.

“hi I’m- “

“heaters dad”

“Yeah” he chuckled “my name is actually Jason”

“I’m Abby”

The air was tense.

“what do you want dude” Abby said irritated.

“Look are you and the new teacher together?” He asked. Abby felt her eye twitch at his question.

“It’s none of your business”

☆ Milf Abby who thought her week was ruined, but when she got home her suit had arrived.

☆ Milf Abby who almost pees herself on Friday morning because today is the day.

☆ Milf Abby who takes the day off to get away from Jason and to relax.

☆ Milf Abby who spends hours on Pintrest to look for the perfect hairstyle.

☆ Milf Abby who’s ready by 3 in the afternoon.

☆ Milf Abby who asks Aubrey and her dad how she looks before she walks out.

“So how do I look?” she watched her dad smile at her.

“you look perfect Abby”

“now go get your girl!” she heard Aubrey yell.

☆ Milf Abby who made you a bracelet, and flowers out of paper.

☆ Milf Abby who sees Jason’s car outside the school.

☆ Milf Abby whose heart shatters when she hears your conversation.

“I’m going on a date with Abby” she heard your voice.

“Isn’t she too old for you? She’s in her 40s isn’t she?”

“what does age have to with anything?”

“she’s old”

yeah she was.

fuck, Abby knew too old. She didn’t even stay to listen to the conversation.

Abby ran out the school and she sobbed in her car. She should’ve know this would never work.

If only she stayed behind to hear how you defended her. If only she waited for you.

☆ Milf Abby who came home crying.

“Mommy what’s wrong- “Abby walked right past her daughter

“it’s ok let her go” she heard her dad say.

☆ Milf Abby who fell asleep crying.

☆ Milf Abby who wakes up with multiple texts from you.

“Hey where are you?”

“Abby?”

“are you ok?”

“I’m waiting for you”

“I’m home now”

“did you change your mind”

“Abby?”

With a shaky breath Abby blocked your number.

☆ Milf Abby who ignores your existence once again.

☆ Milf Abby who sees you smiling at her, but she just nods back at you.

☆ Milf Abby who tells you have no future together.

Aubrey climbed into the car, and before Abby could drive away she heard a knock on her window. It was you.

“Hey” Abby said after lowering the window.

“Hi Abby- “

“call me Mrs. Anderson” she watched as your face dropped.

You cleared your throat “I’m sorry Mrs. Anderson, I just wanted to ask what happened the other night?”

“I realized that this wasn’t going to work”

“why?”

“because you’re too young. I need someone more mature”

“Oh”

Abby could feel the sadness radiating off you.

“You should go for someone your own age”

“Ok Mrs. Anderson, I understand. Thank you for your time”

☆ Milf Abby who feels bad after her daughter calls her stupid.

☆ Milf Abby who makes a realization by the help of her daughter.

“You made my teacher sad”

“Aubrey I don’t care stop telling me- “

“you do care. I see the way you look at her” Abby sighed at her daughter’s answers.

She does care. She downloaded social media to stalk you. She stared learning internet slang for you.

“Heathers dad said that he wants to ask her on a date-”

“what?”

“I heard him say that he’s going to ask her out but then I said no because you wanted to go on a date with her”

Then it clicked.

He was there that day to cause trouble.

fuck.

He wanted to get into Abby’s head. And he did. He started working at Abby’s law firm to watch her. To figure out her moves. Her weaknesses.

He must’ve heard her and Nora talk about the age gap. She made a mistake.

☆ Milf Abby who runs to unblock your number and calls you.

☆ Milf Abby who felt like she could cry when you didn’t pick up.

☆ Milf Abby who whimpers your name when you eventually pick up the phone.

“what do you want Mrs. Anderson?”

“No look I made a mistake, please listen- “

“you can’t keep doing this….You say you like me then you ghost me- I’m sick of your shit Abby”

“look I heard Jason say that you deserve someone younger- “

“well maybe I do”

Abby went quite at that.

You spoke up again: “I need someone who’s mature, someone who can communicate but what do I know Abby I’m immature, am I not? Because apparently you know what that maturity means”

“Please” she sighed.

“Please I’m begging you” Abby begged again.

The line went quite for a while.

“Come to my class tomorrow so we can talk”

☆ Milf Abby who goes to work the next day and she goes to Jason’s office.

☆ Milf Abby who confronts him, and almost beats the shit out of him when he calls her a grandma.

☆ Milf Abby who gets into trouble but it was worth it.

☆ Milf Abby who goes to your class later that day.

She watched as you sat behind your desk. “Sit” you commanded and she did.

☆ Milf Abby who tells you the whole story.

“sorry won’t cut it Abby, you said the same thing the last time”

“Just because he said that doesn’t mean you have the right to ghost me”

“I’m sorry”

“Look just one more chance please”

“why should I trust you?”

“because I’m me”

You rolled your eyes at Abby’s response.

Abby reached out to grab your head, and your head snapped in the direction of you interlocked fingers.

“words mean nothing” you spoke.

“just trust me please and-” but before she could finish you leaned in to kiss her.

It was slow, passionate, and it was filled with so much love. Abby pulled away, only to get up and walk to side of the desk where you sat. She went on knees and she and put her hands on your waist. The two of you started at each other.

“Fuck” she breathed before you kissed her again.

☆ Milf Abby who jumps up when she heard Aubrey yell “ew!”

☆ Milf Abby who was really embarrassed.

☆ Milf Abby who turned as red as a tomato, she felt like a teenager being caught in the act.

“Why did you go on your knees?” you asked, still heavily breathing.

“it’s a way of showing submission” she shrugs.

“I’m trying to show you that you have me, despite our age difference” Abby explained.

“I’d let you do anything to me” she confessed.

☆ Milf Abby who goes home that night and smile the whole time.

☆ Milf Abby who keeps touching her lips, because yours were there.

☆ Milf Abby who apologizes to Aubrey for seeing such an act.

“It’s ok” the little girl reassured her.

“Now go get her before Heathers dad does”

☆ Milf Abby who shows up to school the next day to bring you lunch.

☆ Milf Abby who spells out the words “May i be your girlfriend?” with different fruit in the lunch box. All you did was smile at the sight.

☆ Milf Abby who was chewing her nails, waiting for your response.

“This is very romantic Anderson” you spoke. She watched as you but the lunch box on the table, you walked towards her.

“Get on your knees Abby” and she did so immediately.

“Why?” she asked while being on her knees.

“you’re too tall, I can’t kiss you when you’re standing”

The two of you shared a quick kiss.

“So is it a yes?” Abby asked, her lips inches away from yours.

“Yeah”

“Fuck yes” she breathed as she got up, picking you up and placing you on your desk. The two of you shared another kiss before you pulled away.

“Promise me something”

“What?”

“No more ghosting”

“yes ma’am”

“you’ll tell me if you feel insecure”

“yes”

“and one more thing Abby”

“what?”

“you aren’t too old for me. I like my women mature” you added as you wrapped your arms around her neck. Abby chuckled.

☆ Milf Abby who wanted to kiss you again before she heard your daughter yell “fucking finally” as she stood at the door.

“Who taught you that word?”

“grandpa did”

“of course he did”

☆ Milf Abby who was the happiest women ever, since that moment.

☆ Milf Abby who knew you were the one.

☆ Milf Abby who already goes wedding ring shopping and who plans your future together despite only dating you for 2 days at that point.

My pookies (the tag list): @mousymaven @lia-winther @zombholic

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welcometomyoasis · 7 months

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How seventeen would take care of their sick s/o

Pairings: svt x gn! reader Genre: fluff, established relationship Word count: approx. 1600 words Warnings: none A/n: i know this trope has been used 1000 times but literally everyone is getting sick now? Dedicating this to all of you rn. I hope you all feel better soon.

🍒 Seungcheol

Overdramatic (1). He would literally cry. You’re his baby and he cannot stand seeing you suffer. He will take care of everything, don't you worry. Just stay in bed and rest. He will be so so attentive and will pander to (almost) all your wants/ needs. You want soup? He’s ordering it right now. You want an extra pillow? Here take the one he was leaning on. You want cuddles? Who cares if he gets sick right, his baby needs him. But god forbid you try to move or do anything else other than rest. He will scream and is not above locking you in the bedroom when you try to go to the living room just for a change of environment. He probably forgets to open a window so he is definitely going to get sick after this. You will then need to take care of a whiny whiny baby Cheollie.

😇 Jeonghan

Partner privilege has its perks. Although Jeonghan doesn’t enjoy movement and is kind of lazy, he will always make an effort for you. He will run all over the house and run out to the store to get you literally everything you need. You will see him run in and out of the room to get you food, water, medication, cold packs for your fever, sweets for your sore throat etc. He gets tired easily though so he will likely just bring everything into the room at some point and make you both a little nest in the bed. You can just spend the time snuggling together and sleeping the rest of the day away. Jeonghan’s presence alone will make you feel better.

🦌 Joshua

Joshua will literally drop everything to take care of you. When you are sick, he is the perfect balance of worried and calm. Obviously, he worries because he loves you. But, he also knows how to deal with it with a level head. He takes all the necessary steps to find out what illness you are plagued with so that he can specially prepare a care package for you. In it, you will find everything you need and it comes with a bonus! Him! He is like your personal nurse and will stick to a regimented care plan to help you get better soon. Medication every 6 hours, small portions of food every 4 hours, forehead towel changes every 5 minutes. He doesn’t expect anything in return too because he is that selfless and he knows you would do the same for him. He does take kisses as a form of payment though.

🐱 Junhui

Jumps around the house in happiness? To your amusement, even if he is worried, Junhui is very very excited to be able to take care of you. He has fantasied about this before. You are always taking such good care of him and he wants to be able to repay you for all that you do. He probably has a checklist of what he should be doing for you. He goes through it diligently at first before throwing it aside and just doing what he feels is right. He might go a bit overboard with the care? You might wake up to a thermometer being shoved in your mouth or yet another wet towel being put on your forehead. Still, he’s making an effort and you really appreciate it.

🐯 Soonyoung

Overdramatic (2). Soonyoung will scream his head off about how his precious baby is sick. How can you get sick? Which evil germs got you sick? He will scream about wanting to fight the germs that are in your body. Will 100% make you laugh until you cough your lungs out. He will sober up after a while to actually take good care of you. He can’t cook to save his life so he might call his mother and ask her to send a list of food that would be good for you. He will also ask her for advice on what to do to make you feel better. Soonyoung will follow all her advice really diligently because it’s your health at stake here. And if there was one thing he was extremely passionate about, it’s your wellbeing.

🐈‍⬛ Wonwoo

Wonwoo will ask if you want to go see a doctor. He will respect your choice either way but in his opinion, if you aren't feeling well, it's better to let the professionals handle it immediately. He definitely attends to your every need and makes sure to put on the humidifier in your room to help you feel more comfortable. He also makes sure that he is always reachable or contactable if he is out of your sight. That means that he will not play video games that require him to use headphones. Wonwoo will be quite happy to read silently next to you (or in the living room) so he can listen out for you. And he would certainly be happy to read to you if you wish.

🍚 Jihoon

While Jihoon won’t make a big fuss when he gets sick, he will be a little frazzled when you do. He is at a loss as to what to do? I feel like when he gets sick, he just pops some medication in his mouth and sleeps it off. But he knows your needs are different from his. He is ready to help though so just take a bit of time to explain to him what you need. After that, he will be more than capable of taking care of the rest. He’s really intuitive as well so he might be able to detect when you need something before you do. That said, he is scared of getting sick too so maybe don’t expect as many cuddles?

⚔️ Dokyeom

Overdramatic (3). Similar to Junhui, he has been waiting for this day. Dokyeom will dress up like a nurse, complete with a surgical mask and gloves. He kind of looks like a real nurse? He will take this really seriously and try to emulate everything he has watched in medical dramas. Actually does a great job? All the questions he asks are similar to what a real doctor or nurse would ask you. He “prescribes” you the correct medication too. Ibuprofen for your fever, sore throat, and headaches, and extra cuddles from your adorable boyfriend. It’s really endearing to see Dokyeom act this way and it makes him so happy when he learns you really enjoyed his little act.

🐸 Minghao

Minghao would know you are getting sick even before you do. He’s so observant and attentive towards you that he knows all the telltale signs. In the days leading up to you getting sick, he’s already taking preventive measures. Giving you warm tea, telling you to rest more, giving you more nutritious food and vitamins. It definitely helps because when you do get sick, you don’t feel like death. Minghao is also so prepared that he has already stocked up on all the necessities. He knows all the little hacks and tricks to help you feel better too. In a way, he’s kind of like your walking home remedy.

🐶 Mingyu

Perfect househusband. Kind of freaks out at first but then immediately springs into caregiver mode. He might not be the most knowledgeable about medication? So you just need to guide him there. Other than that, he’s busying himself in the kitchen to cook all sorts of comfort food for you. Like soups and porridge. He will come into the room constantly to check in on you, and will bring things like water or tea with him. Checks your temperature constantly. He does go overboard with the cuddles and kisses. Combine that with him running all over the house, he probably will get sick too. Whines and sulks when he does because then who will take care of you?

🍊 Seungkwan

Flutters between worried boyfriend and mothering hen. Seungkwan would be so concerned for you and will constantly check in with you about what you need. At the same time, most things he says will be punctuated with things like “i told you to take care of yourself”, “how can you get sick”, “don’t overwork yourself please”. You eventually grab his hands to tell him he doesn’t need to worry so much and he can take a breather to just rest with you. He will sigh and probably talk about what else needs to be done as he is climbing into bed. It’s just his coping mechanism and the way he shows his cares towards you. And you wouldn’t change anything about it.

🐻‍❄️ Vernon

Vernon isn’t the type to make a big deal or fuss over anything (ahem Seungcheol, Soonyoung and Dokyeom). He will take you getting sick within his stride. He knows that everyone deals with getting sick differently. So, he will ask you what you would like him to do. If you say you need medication or food, he’s already out the door. If you say you want him to stay with you, he’s getting in the bed next to you. Or if you say you just want to be left alone to sleep, he’s giving your forehead a kiss and dimming the lights to your room on the way out. He tailors his actions to what you want. He’s just so sensitive to your needs in that way.

🦦 Chan

I feel like with Chan, it could go one of two ways. The first is that he doesn't really know what to do. Not that he doesn’t know what to do when someone gets sick, it’s more like he doesn’t know how to help you. So, he just tries his best to observe and ask what you need as you get over your sickness. The second way is that he is fully prepared. He is very independent so he knows all the steps he should take to help you. He gets you medication, forces you to rest. He also knows that he should avoid getting sick so he opens the windows for air circulation. The fresh air ends up helping you as well and you recover faster than you thought. Regardless of whichever way it goes, you can bet you can depend on Chan.

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lw6-woso · 10 months

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nighty night (LW6 x reader)

(gif is not mine)

it was an important day for the Williamson family but more important to both yours and Leah's two young kids.

you and Leah had been married almost 4 years now and you both had two young children Nova who had just turned 2 and Miles who was 4.

tonight it was just you and the kids as Leah is out of town but that won't stop the kids from seeing their mommy this is because tonight Leah was going to be reading a bedtime story on CBeebies, and the kids had no idea that it was happening and they love CBeebies it was part of there night routine before bedtime.

you had got the kids bathed and into their pyjamas, they were settled and watching in the night garden whilst you cleaned the kitchen and got yourself some food, as you finished washing the dishes, your phone started to ring. you grabbed your phone and answered.

"Hello," you answered.

"hi babe," Leah said.

"hey how are you," you said.

"I'm good how are you and the babies," she said.

"yeah im good all finished up for the night the kids are watching TV waiting to be surprised by there mummy" you said.

"i know can you record there reactions please" she said.

"that was my plan i think im more excited than they will be" you said walking to sit on the couch.

"i'll let you go and get the kids to bed call me once its finished" she said.

"yeh okay ill call you in a minute" you said your goodbyes for the time being just in time for bedtime stories.

you pulled my phome out and leant it against a lamp so you were able to see the kids.

they were sat in there own little seats in front of the TV and leah came on and Miles gasped and Nova squealed.

"mama its mummy" Miles shouted.

"mamamamama" Nova said over and over again.

after a moment of excitement both kids sat there listening to everyone word that leah was saying in complete aww, with Nova still saying over again mama, looking back at you over and over again.

once it finished you had stopped the video and Nova started too cry and came over you picked her up and cuddled her as she cried for her mummy.

"hey do you want to face time her" you asked Nova and she nodded and miles came over sad that it was over.

you grabbed your phone and face timed Leah she answered and the smile on her face faded when she noticed Nova crying.

"whats the matter baby" she said.

"miss you mummy" she said her tears stopping.

"oh baby im sorry did you like your story" she asked and they both nodded.

"that was the best surprise mummy i am going to watch it every night" Miles said dramatically.

"i wouldnt expect anything else baby im glad you like it ill be home soon and ill read you it okay" she said and they both nodded Nova rubbing her eyes and leaning her head on your shoulder.

"you tired baby" you said and she nodded.

"you go to bed babies ill be home when you wake up" Leah said an they nodded.

"goodnight babies" Leah said, both the kids said there goodnight and hung up.

you put your phone on the side of the couch and took Nova into your arms and held Miles hand taking them to bed. miles went running into his room being able to get ready for bed himself.

you walked into Novas bedroom and but her in her cott and put covers over her and gave her a kiss.

"goodnight baby" you said and she got comfy and closed her eyes.

you walked out and shut her door and went to Miles room were he was in his bed under his covers cuddling his blacket and his monkey he had the day he was born.

you tucked him in and gave him a kiss and walked out after saying goodnight. That night you sent the video to Leah of the kids and you both posted the video of the kid's reaction it is my favourite video of the kids

the following days and weeks and even months every night after CBebbies ended the kids watched Leah reading them the same bedtime story just as Miles said to Leah.

#leah williamson #awfc #woso imagine #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson one shot #arsenal women #lionesses #engwnt #arsenal wfc #woso community #women football

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ellieluvr420 · 1 month

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Eye for an Eye Pt.4

MASTERLIST (and information about Palestine) Please read!

SYNOPSIS: Your body yearned for the touch of your girlfriend, the warm embrace that calmed your mind but you couldn't give in, the anger you harboured for her at disappearing with her group for three months without any warning, explanation or even a mention of when she would be back stopped you in your tracks any time you got close to giving in. You loved Abby so much but looking at her made you sick, you couldn't push the feelings down no matter how much you craved for things to go back to what they once were. You hadn't planned this but the anguish in those green eyes mirrored yours and sucked you in before you could think twice about the repercussions of your actions. You made your bed when you made the deal with the auburn-haired stranger, eventually you'd have to lie in it.

I want to quickly stress that this is a darker fic and there will be a lot of darker, possibly triggering themes to do with mental health throughout so take that as a warning. I likely won't do warnings for each part because part of this fic for me is that you don't know what's going to happen until you read it so please do not read if you find graphic descriptions of mental illness and topics surrounding that triggering. But if you do read, thank you so much, this story is really important to me and I appreciate any interaction whatsoever!

Had this in my drafts and wasn’t gonna post until i finished chap 21 of friends?never but @moonspowder is holding their breath so had to get a move along 🤗

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You waited for Abby to fall asleep, it didn’t take long, she was clearly exhausted from the day of crying and grieving her beloved friends. You watched her sleep for a little while, imagining what it would look like when she wouldn’t wake again but you dragged yourself away to pack your backpack ready to go back to Ellie. You grimaced at the thought of seeing Ellie again, after your dramatic exit earlier you were sure you wouldn’t get a warm greeting but you didn’t care either way. You were going to make sure Nora died, not to see her.

The walk there was tranquil, you heard a few screeches here and there but that was normal, it didn’t bother you, you had managed to sneak into the weapon armoury as its never got someone working it overnight and you were quite adept at picking locks so the added weight of your weapons and ammunition in your backpack acted as an anchor, comforting you and keeping you on this plane of existence instead of floating away into your mind like you had been all day. You had a rifle over your shoulder and Ellie’s switchblade in your hand, every time you looked down at it you smiled at the memory of pointing her own knife at her as you left earlier, it felt like you were mocking her and you liked it.

You practically skipped up the steps of the fire escape, bounding in through the window gracefully and sauntering through to the stage where she was already sitting on one of the chairs in the front row waiting for you. You smirked at her as you made your way towards her where she scowled at you.

“You’re a fucking bitch you know that?” She spat.

“Well that’s not very nice.”

“I specifically asked you not to tell Jesse and you tell him at the first opportunity. What the fuck was that for?”

“Payback.” She rolls her eyes and stands, holding out her hand, you look at her puzzled until you remember the switchblade still firmly planted in your palm. You fold it back together and place it in your back pocket as you smile.

“You’re being weird, what’s wrong with you?”

“You don’t know what’s weird and what isn’t with me Ellie, you don’t know me so stop acting like you do ‘kay?” That didn’t help, stop being so defensive. She was right, this wasn’t you but if you had been you, you would’ve let her kill you before you agreed to hurt Abby, but you’re not you, and that’s the point. “I didn’t come here to chat so are you ready?”

“Yep.” You turn on your heel and start walking back towards the window.

“Jesse not joining us?”

“No, he needs to rest his ankle and he’s not the biggest fan of you so it was best he stayed.”

“Can’t imagine why he doesn’t like me.” You flash a coy grin over your shoulder and Ellie chuckles before she can even think to hold it in which makes her scowl in your direction even more. As you bend over to crawl through the window you feel Ellie’s fingers brush against your ass before a hand comes up and grabs your hip, holding you in place. You squirm and curse at her as her free hand dives into your pocket and retrieves her switchblade. You glare at her over your shoulder, and she sticks her tongue out at you. Childish. Even the subtle blush of her cheeks angered you as you made your way down the fire escape, her following closely behind.

As you trailed along the dark paths of Seattle towards the park you planned to cut through, you wondered what could have happened if you had met Ellie before, under better circumstances. You know if you had met her before you had been ruined, darkened by the torment of love and hatred, you would have liked her, found her charming. Anything that you would’ve liked about her only drove you further from her, the thought of getting close to someone again, feeling for someone again, it made your blood run cold. You’d do whatever you had to do to keep your distance until everything was over.

You reach a dead end that has you huffing as you notice the double doors slightly ajar to your right. “Fuck’s sake.” You mutter to yourself as Ellie comes to stand next to you.

“What?”

“Was hoping we wouldn’t have to cut through any buildings, but I guess I was wrong.”

“No hold on a minute, if you can get me to the top of the wall I can pull you up.” You quirk an eyebrow at her, challenging her declaration, it wasn’t that you didn’t think she was strong, it was just a very high wall, it seemed like a long shot.

“Well worth a try because these buildings are crawling with infected typically.” She nods and you walk to the wall, pressing your back against it and cupping your hands together.

“You ready?” She checks as she puts her foot into your hands.

“As I’ll ever be.” You nod and in sync she jumps up as you boost her and somehow she actually manages to grasp onto the top edge and pull herself up. It was impressive to watch, you hadn’t met anyone as adept as Abby until you met her. She lowers herself down and reaches an arm out to you.

“Just jump and grab my hand and then don’t fucking let go okay?”

“Yeah I got it.” You take a breath and leap as high as you can, the second you feel your hand in hers, you breathe a sigh of relief, she starts slowly pulling you up and the second you can you grab onto the ledge to help her for the last bit. Once you’re both over the wall she stands with her hands on her hips and a smug look on her face. “I swear if you say I told you so.”

“I wasn’t gonna say a thing, you said it for me.” She smiles and you continue walking without looking to see if she followed but you know she has from the faint patter of her footsteps.

The entrance to the park comes into view at the same time that you hear a high-pitched whistling. “The fuck is that?” Ellie whispers.

“Scars. We’ll take it slow and just try and sneak around them okay, keep your head down and stay quiet.”

“Yes ma’am.” You glare at her before creeping forward, this time checking she’s following. The whistles grew louder as you moved deeper into the forest until you heard a blood-curling scream, followed by begs and pleads from another WLF soldier. “What the fuck.” Ellie whispers next to you as you both see the soldiers strung up from trees, one with his organs dangling from his body and the other flailing about desperately as he screams and tries to bargain for his life. “Do you know them?”

“Yeah I know the one they haven’t cut open yet. Daniel.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Don’t be, I’m not.” She scoffs in disbelief at your bluntness as you keep moving until you hear the swish of an arrow cutting through air and the fleshy squelch of it landing in a body. You turn to see Ellie lying on the floor grunting as she yanks at the arrow. You immediately spot the scar heading straight for you and you lunge at her, digging your knife into her neck and yanking it out, her blood splattering over you, painting you skin red. Just more blood on your hands. It will all be over soon. You return to Ellie and kneel beside her. “Hey, hey, let me do it.” She nods and as you snap the arrow so you can pull it out easier, she gasps and squeezes your arm as she clamps her eyes shut. Her hand burns your skin, you needed to get this done quickly.

“You better be right-handed.” You say trying to lighten the mood as you yank the arrow from her left shoulder, she whimpers slightly but as soon as it’s out, she breathes a sigh of relief.

“Yeah I’m right-handed.” She watches as you pull your backpack off and retrieve a bandage from the front pocket. “You came prepared.”

“I was actually planning to leave this time so yeah I did. Take your shirt off.”

“Wh- why?”

“So I can wrap this bandage around it. I’m not tryna cop a feel, relax. Just take your arm out of the shirt.”

“Right.” She winces as she pulls her left arm from the shirt and you press the end of the bandage to the seeping wound before grabbing her hand and pressing it onto the hole firmly. You wrap the bandage round her shoulder and under her armpit as tight as you can before ripping it and tying it off then helping her back into her shirt.

“You okay?”

“Yeah but we need to keep moving.” You help her up and begin sprinting towards the exit of the park until you’re no longer surrounded by foliage, instead comforted by the urban forest that you found a lot easier to navigate.

“See through those two buildings there, that’s the hospital. We’re not that far away now.” You were half telling yourself that and half telling her. It’s not like it would get easier the closer you got to the hospital, but the closer you got, the closer Nora was to meeting her demise. That’s why you were here. To make sure she died, that’s it.

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The sound of ‘it was a good day’ by Ice Cube rang through the halls, one of yours and Abby’s favourite’s. You thought it was ironic, that particular song playing while Nora gets slaughtered, poetic almost. “There’s a door on the other side of the room, I’m gonna go round and make sure she can’t run through there. Just wait a couple minutes before you go in, yeah?”

“You’re not coming in with me?” And let Nora blow yours and Abby’s relationship wide open? No, you were not going in there.

“No, I’m gonna make sure no one comes and finds us. Why? You want a little company?”

“You made your point.”

“Make it hurt.” You mutter before walking off round the corner to go find the door. The song ringing through your ears causing a slideshow of memories with Abby to flash through your mind, you shake them away as the door comes into view, you press your ear to the door and as you hear Ellie’s voice inside you get to work barricading the door, you slam yourself into the large metal cabinet to scrape it across the floor until it’s firmly in front of the door. You moved slowly to make as little noise as possible, the music covering your plight well. You go back to pressing your ear against the door just as you hear Ellie’s disgruntled voice.

“You fucking cunt- Agh!” A crash and then the handle shaking violently as Nora tries to make her escape, you can’t stop yourself from popping up in the glass pane of the door and smiling with a little wave and tilt of your head. She whispers your name as her face screws up before you disappear from the glass again leaving her and Ellie alone. You shouldn’t be enjoying this, you barely felt human anymore, it’s her fault, it’s their fault, it’s your own fault too but you’d fix that soon enough. You appear at the other door and glance through the window. Nora’s on the floor, unmoving as Ellie stands over her with a large metal pipe in her hand, the end dripping with crimson. You notice the tremor of the pipe, the rigid stance of Ellie as she stands over Nora, and then she thrashes the pipe down onto her, again and again. Was this what Ellie had witnessed when she found you at Hillcrest? You needed to get moving so you enter the room quietly and as she lifts the pipe again you grab it and yank it out of her hand. She spins to face you and you feel like she might kill you there and then for stopping her. “You got her. We gotta go.” She nods and lets you lead her out of the room, and out of the hospital into the cool night air. She doesn’t speak, she doesn’t move without a nudge from you, she doesn’t notice when a runner creeps up on her from behind until you’re ripping it off of her, throwing it to the ground and stomping its head into the cement underneath you. If you don’t sort her out soon, she’d get you both killed so you drag her into a nearby house, sitting her down on the sofa before checking it’s clear and securing the doors and windows then returning to her. “Ellie, I need you to focus. We need to get back to the theatre, so I need you to focus.”

“I- I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why?”

“I should’ve just killed her. I’m as bad as them. I made it hurt.” She looked up at you and suddenly that familiar feeling you thought you were free from comes rushing back like it had never left. Guilt was crushing, it was worse than any physical pain you could ever describe. Your whole body ached and twinged as every nerve felt like it was on fire. You crouched down to make her look at you, attempting to distract yourself from your own inner turmoil with hers.

“Ellie, look at me.” Her eyes flick up to yours as you cup her cheeks with your hands. “She fucking deserved it, they all deserve it. You’re gonna do this and you’re gonna go back home and forget about this place and everything in it. You’re gonna go be happy with your girlfriend and your friends and you’re gonna move on but you have to make it out of here alive first, so I need you to focus.” She doesn’t say anything, she just mirrors your own hands as she cups your cheeks, your skin burns.

“I don’t know how to be happy anymore, I don’t think I can go back to the life I had before all of this.” She leans in and your eyes widen as you put a hand on her chest.

“Ellie, don’t do this to yourself. Dina is what you need.”

“I don’t know how to be what she needs.” She leans in again and you can’t shake the feeling you’re taking advantage of her, she’s vulnerable, she’s grieving, you can’t do this.

“Ellie, you don’t want this. You’re confused, this would be a mistake that you’ll regret every day. Think about Dina.”

“She doesn’t look at me the same anymore, Jesse doesn’t other, they don’t get it. You do. Please, I know what I need, I need this. I need to feel real, like I’m not just a heartless killer, I know you understand that.” Fuck, she’s right. You know it’s wrong, everything’s wrong, she’s not Abby but in your eyes, Abby isn’t Abby anymore. She changed and she changed you with her. Why did cheating feel so wrong when you were fantasising and planning on killing her? Why did you feel bad for a girl you hadn’t even seen? Everything you were doing was driving you further into that bottomless black pit that you’d never escape from. It was pointless trying to fight the darkness slowly squeezing the life out of you, so why are you still trying? It would all go away soon so why fight it? You started all of this because the hurt they had enacted on you caused a large gaping abscess to form where your heart used to be but now, now you had lost control, blinded by your rage, by your bloodlust. She was right, you needed to feel real, just once more before it all ends, before everything catches up to you, it would sooner or later, catch up to you. You just needed to feel real.

You sighed and looked into her eyes before nodding gently and leaning towards her, closing the already small gap between you both. Your lips pressed together, cautiously at first, her hands moving down to your hips and squeezing tentatively. This wasn’t right, you half expected to see a monster looking back at you next time you looked in a mirror, how could a broken heart do this much damage? Were you overreacting? Were you like this all along and Abby just gave you an excuse to show your true colours? You just needed comfort, affection, from someone who hadn’t set your heart on fire and stomped it into the ground. You just needed some comfort.

Ellie sucked your tongue into her mouth as you straddled her hips, desperation seeping through your pores as you latched onto her hair and yanked her head back to give you access to her neck, you pecked at the skin just below her ear and as you went to suck you had to stop yourself, you couldn’t leave any traces of your evil on her pale skin. Her hands squeezed at your thighs as she nudged your cheek with her nose to get you to face her once again. The air was dense, it was clogging your throat, any time you pulled away you felt like the air was sucked out of you and your body was being crushed. You couldn’t take it, you couldn’t understand how it made you feel so much more immoral than anything you had done over the past few days, yet it still made you feel alive for the first time in months.

Ellie could barely think, barely function, all she could focus on was your lips on hers as her hands roamed your body. Any time Dina would pop into her mind she’d just press herself further into you, it blocked everything else out. How could she go back to her normal life, after everything, after you? She knew you didn’t feel the same way, she could tell, this was just a necessity to you, a distraction, but to her, it was everything, it was like you were letting her be the version of her that rose from the ashes of Joel’s death, not trapping her in a cage of who she used to be.

“I’m sorry Ellie, I’m so, so sorry.” Your voice was cracking and trembling as you spoke but when you opened your eyes to see hers still closed, no reaction to what you had said, the panic set in. Not again. “I’m sorry Ellie, please hear me, I’m sorry, I’ve ruined you too. I’m sorry.” You were practically screaming as tears rolled down your cheeks. This time her eyes snapped open again but they were only filled with lust, something else that you couldn’t decipher but you didn’t want to.

“I needed this too, thank you.” She breathed out and your stomach churned, your hand immediately going to your cheek to feel that it was completely dry, you heaved at the feeling and jumped off of her, you’ve lost it, you’re barely connected to your body anymore, some outside force controlling it.

Her eyes went glassy as her jaw dropped open slightly at your sudden change in demeanour. “Did I do something wrong?” Her voice was small, shameful as she averted her eyes from your manic ones.

“No I- I heard something, we need to move, we’re too close to the hospital.”

“Oh... okay.” She looked like a beaten puppy as she stood and grabbed her backpack, wincing at the pain in her shoulder. You tore your eyes away from her to look out the window and make sure it was safe to leave before turning back to her and taking in her features, her hair messy and tangled, her cheeks blushed, and her lips parted as her chest rose and fell heavily. You stared as she stared back until you took a breath and went to reach for the doorhandle, but it wasn’t there. Instead, your fingers found the bottom of the window that you had left ajar upon your exit of the theatre. You snapped your head towards it and screeched as you yanked it upwards and threw yourself through the opening. You turned back and you felt your body go cold as Abby was standing behind you, climbing through the window with eyes so dark you thought they were black. The blue was no longer there, replaced by inky darkness that matched the background, the theatre seeping away from your vision and leaving only you and her. You screamed and cried as she inched closer to you, you tried to scramble away but she snatched your ankle back towards her and climbed on top of you, squeezing your chin as her eyes stared into your soul and sucked it out of you. Your whole body tingled before going numb as a single tear rolled down your cheek at the sick grin that twisted her lips upwards mocked you.

“Hey, come on, wake up, fuck please wake up, what the fuck?” Ellie’s voice boomed through your head, light blinded you as you used every ounce of strength in you to open your eyes only to come face to face with Ellie peering over you. “What the fuck was that? You just passed out as you went through the window.”

“S-sorry, I- I dunno what happened.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I mean I don’t fucking know.” You could never tell her what you had seen, what was happening to you, you couldn’t even begin to verbalise it. You sat up and surveyed your surroundings, you were at the theatre, you had blacked out for at least an hour, best case. You needed to fix this, you needed to get home before Abby wakes up.

“Are you okay? Let me help you up.” She goes to lift you up but you smack her hands away, you didn’t know why you were agitated but you were, you needed her not to touch you or look at you or breathe near you because your skin was itching and you felt like you were a bomb seconds away from exploding.

“I got it, I’m fine, okay? I’m probably just over-tired.” You walk away from her and disappear through the curtains as she follows you down to the chairs where you dropped your backpack and began pacing. She sat beside the backpack and pulled her arm out of her grey t-shirt once again to look at the bandages that were now stained red and leaking onto the hand she pressed on the wound.

“I don’t suppose you’ve got anymore bandages you wouldn’t mind sharing.”

“Yeah, front pocket of my backpack.” You would’ve got them for her but you couldn’t stand still right now, you needed to keep moving as you begged for the memory of the journey from the hospital to the theatre to return to you but there was not even a second of it you could remember.

Ellie watched you for a second before going to the front pocket of your backpack and routing around it. Her hands brushed over something thin and smooth, a piece of paper but not like the paper in her journal, like film almost. She knew she shouldn’t snoop but you didn’t seem like the type to share and she just wanted to know more about you so she flipped the polaroid over to look at the picture and the sight made bile rise to her throat as she clutched it and brought it closer to her face. You were completely unaware of her actions as your back was turned to her mostly but her eyes still flicked between you and the polaroid. “What the fuck is this?” She spat as she stood and stormed over to you.

“Hm?” You turned and immediately a polaroid fluttered at you, landing on the floor at your feet. Your hand shook as you picked it up and realised what she was talking about. The polaroid was of you and Abby, her kissing your cheek and you beaming at the camera, with ‘my love’ written in sharpie on the thick white border. “I- Ellie...” You whispered as you refused to look up at her.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?” Her hands thrust you backwards sending you stumbling as she reaches behind her jeans and yanks her pistol out, aiming it right at your heart. You don’t move, you don’t look away, you just stare back at her eyes that were fiery with rage as her lips sneered at you.

tags: @emiliabby @liasxeatt @kawaiibreadbouquet-blog @tphmnv@a-little-bit-of-everybody@chrry1ovr

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milequaritchsslut · 1 year

Text

Neteyam x Dead Reader Part 2

Warnings: crying, tainted reality, mental illness, suicide, pregnancy. blood, death, depression

Summary: after your death, Neteyam doesn’t know what to do without his mate

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4

…

“Neteyam, for your own sake go and talk to your family they miss you” you begged your mate, who was connected to the tree of souls to talk to you. The night before he had slept here, and tonight would be no different. “But it is better here with you yawne” he protested, too deep in his sorrows to listen to your demands. You didn’t want to disconnect from him but you knew it was the only way he would listen to you.

“If you will not listen to me Teyam, I will disconnect” warning him, his expression soon changed from a warm smile to teary eyed. “No please yawne, please don’t disconnect I don’t know what I will do without you!” Falling to his knees as he wrapped himself around you. Tears welled in his eyes at the thought of being without you. He refused to face this reality, the reality that you were dead. The reality that he was alone once again, with no mate by his side. He had not cleaned himself in days, he reeked of rotting food and horrid body odor. He refused to leave your side at the tree of souls. He hadn’t disconnected in days and it was effecting his physical body. He had become weak, from postponing his training for months now. His arms were small and scrawny, and his legs weak. Due to him never eating it was hard for him to walk sometimes. You were the only thing he thought of, the only thing he really longed for.

In his eyes you were still here, still alive and breathing. You were just taking a break from life for a little while, of course you’d come back! You didn’t die, everyone was just confused. He was the only one who knew you’d come back, the only one who knew the truth. But one day he would have to wake up from this reality he had created with you. This false reality, his tainted mind had formed. And you were the one who would do that, you couldn’t bare seeing your mate like this. The boy you once walked with every night, had turned into a leech. Never leaving you alone, always by your side. It pained you to do this to him but you knew it was for the best. “I love you Neteyam, please take my advice” you finally spoke, disconnecting he was brought back to reality. Sitting down on the mossy floor, alone once again. His eyesight turned blurry, the tears coming down with no sign of stopping. Shielding himself from the outside world, he rocked himself back and forth. His head in between his knees, as he wailed for your touch once again.

“What will i do without you yawne?” He asked, as if you were sitting there with him. This was routine for him, talking to himself all night. Acting like you were there, your physical body still being in his grasp as he reached out for something that would never be there. It had seemed that Ewya had turned her back on him. Letting his mind go to mush without you here. Letting his body rot away when he wasn’t talking to you. Though the clan prayed for him to heal, the healing never started. It would never start, as long as you were still in his memory. He would never heal, not without you by him.

Maybe he didn’t need to heal, what if he could be with you forever? He had never thought of it up until now. He yearned for you, for your voice to fill his ears up once again. Why couldn’t he? Wiping his tears from his glossy sockets, he closed his eyes. Letting the image of your body flood through his mind. Remembering the feeling of your soft hair in his grasp, the feeling that surged through his body when he would feel your touch, the plans you two had made for the future. He remembered the day you had told him you were pregnant, the feeling that rose throughout his body was unimaginable. He took you into his warm embrace as tears of joy ran down his face at the thought of a little copy of him running around. His biggest wish was having a family with you, he had prayed to Ewya that she would bless you with child. And his prayers had been answered, he planted kisses all around your womb.

That seemed so long ago now, the reality of having you bear his child was impossible now. You were dead and so was his unborn child, this pain was too much for him. He needed it to stop, he needed a way out. This was the only way he could truly be happy, by joining you with Ewya. Bringing himself to the present, he quickly reached for his hunting knife in his holster. The shiny object glistening in the bioluminescent lights surrounding him, gave him hope of a better future with you. Without a second thought he angled the object towards him. Cutting through his own skin, the end of the knife had hit his heart. Looking down at the cut, he watched as the blood gushed out of his body. This was his way out, the only way he could feel happiness again. The pain was nothing compared to the agony he felt without you.

But soon his eyelids turned heavy, too weak to keep them open he slowly let them shut. The last thing on his mind was seeing you again, his only goal in this life was to see you. What felt like seconds later he opened his eyes, being awakened by a familiar voice. His eyelids opening, he was met with your face hovering over him begging him to wake up. “Y-y/n?” He asked, laying on the grassy ground.

“Neteyam!”

taglist: @iwanttogohomeandtakeanap @dyingofcookies

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

Note

WIBTA for asking my husband to stop taking NyQuil?

My father in law came to visit for Thanksgiving and gave my family (me 30F, and our kids 2F, .5F) covid. It's hit my husband (31M) the hardest. He has a terrible cough that hurts and sounds awful. He can't sleep without taking NyQuil to suppress the cough. I am not able to take any medicine other than Tylenol for my headache, because I am breastfeeding the baby.

This wouldn't matter much because I am not nearly as sick as my husband, but I am not getting better because I am not getting sleep. Neither kid will sleep longer than 2 hours at a time, they take about 30-45 minutes to settle back down, and they usually end up waking in a staggered schedule that means I literally do not get to sleep the entire night. As soon as I lie down from getting one back to bed, the other will start crying. My husband will handle the toddler from 8-11pm, then takes NyQuil and doesn't wake up until after 10 the next morning. He is essentially dead to the world until he wakes up naturally. I am alone all night and morning with no sleep and two crying children. My mental health is tanked, to the point where I'm having intrusive suicidal thoughts for the first time in almost 10 years. I haven't had more than 90 minutes of sleep at a time in 5 days, and no more than 4 hours in a 24 hour period. I am incredibly lucky that I have unlimited sick time available at work.

My mom has been able to help us a couple of times when we were truly desperate, but she is disabled (and also has covid because she had my in-laws over for coffee while they were in town) and I don't want to ask too much of her because she truly can't spend that much energy on us without severe impact to her own health.

My husband will get no sleep without NyQuil. I won't get much more sleep since the baby only calms by breastfeeding, but if my partner handles the toddler wake ups I could get maybe an hour more sleep, and I wouldn't feel so alone.

Would I be the asshole if I ask him to stop taking NyQuil and we both so more or less sleepless?

INFO I couldn't fit in nicely but I can imagine people asking if this were a parenting circle: 1) he isn't a great help during the day already because he's sick. I'm doing most of the childcare and all of the cooking and cleaning during the day while he lays on the couch coughing. Him not getting sleep would not noticeably impact his daytime behavior. When we aren't sick, he is a stay at home parent and I work full time. 2) my baby is sick, this is not the time to sleep train her by letting her cry until she falls back to sleep. 3) My toddler up until this illness was excellent about putting herself back to sleep if she woke in the night. Now she is having nightmares and getting upset about her stuffy nose and crying at every little thing because she has sinus pain and doesn't understand it. She is too young to take decongestants and spits out any Tylenol we try to give her.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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eddiesdaydream · 11 months

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you make loving fun | eddie munson

eddie munson x gn reader

apparently time does not heal all wounds. at least eddie can rely on his little family to be his saving grace.

1.1k words

slight angst to fluff, established relationship, slightly older!eddie, dad!eddie, parent!reader

inspired by you make loving fun by fleetwood mac

tw - brief mentions of familial abuse, death of a parent, blood, mental illness (depression, ptsd)

a/n - this is my first time posting any of my writing online so im super nervous but i love eddie sm and have so many ideas for him so i hope at least somebody enjoys this lmao :) the events of season 4 are canon in this except eddie lived aaand there's no use of y/n or pronouns used (besides you/your, etc lol) and no physical descriptors either ! <3

When Eddie wakes, it’s with a start, his sleep-warmed body jolting in his bed. His chest heaves with adrenaline and his mind is swimming, fuzzy with sleep and the remnants of his dream, another replay of the memories he thought he’d suppressed long ago. It’s like a reel on a constant loop, playing behind his eyelids whenever he blinks, so haunting he has to sit up, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes, as if that should erase his past and all the trauma he’s accumulated over the course of his life. He has the urge to cry, guttural, heaving sobs so heavy they wrack his chest but he can’t- he won’t. Man up, Eddie, a voice that sounds suspiciously like his father gripes in the back of his mind. I didn’t raise you to be a pussy.

Eddie remembers those same words circling his brain whenever his father would drink himself violent and he’d be forced to wedge himself, trembling, into the back of his closet, when he watched his mother’s casket get lowered into the ground before he’d even hit double digits, when he was bleeding out on the cold, hard ground in an alternate dimension, gazing up into the watercolour eyes of a boy he’d sworn to protect and wondering what use those words were to him if he was six foot under himself. Man up, Eddie. I didn’t raise you to be a pussy.

Those memories hang heavy over him like an unwavering fog, some days too thick for him to even get out of bed. Those are his worst days, when he’s too grief-stricken to move, mourning the loss of the child he never got to be, the safe refuge of his uncle’s old trailer to which he can no longer return, and a Hawkins that, while so often a cruel, unforgiving mistress, provided a home for him, now cracked through the heart and uninhabitable for the likes of one Edward Munson.

But then there’s you. You - a beacon of warm, golden light in the shadow realm of his tumultuous mind, the sunshine to his storm cloud. You cut through the fog and Eddie’s okay again, like everything really was just a bad dream.

And you don’t even have to try.

The timid lull of your singing voice drifting through the crack in your bedroom door is enough to even Eddie’s trochaic heart and chase away the fog. He’s okay. He’s safe.

“I never did believe in miracles,” you croon, your tentative voice overpowered by Christine McVie’s pipes crackling through the dusty speakers of the janky radio you keep in the kitchen. But there nonetheless. “But I’ve a feeling it’s time to try.”

Any and all thoughts of his father, his mother, and the horrors that lurk beneath the surface of the town he once called his home are pushed to the back of Eddie’s subconscious and he lets himself relax. He stretches out onto your side of the bed, cold, so he knows you got up some time ago. Pools of watery morning sunlight lave over his bare torso, gently caressing his rippling scars in the same fashion that you do before you both succumb to the heavy blanket of slumber, massaging his healing ointment in for him with a care and attentiveness that he’d never really been privy to until he met you.

Your loud, boisterous laughter ricocheting off of the apartment walls is enough to pull Eddie out of bed and have him make a beeline for you. It’s as if he’s the Earth and you’re his sun, keeping him in your orbit.

And if you’re his sun, your son is his moon, having changed the tides of Eddie’s life forever.

When Eddie enters the kitchen, he’s met with a sight that, while not unfamiliar, still feels foreign to him, as if he can’t quite believe that this is his life now. To some degree, he can’t. When he was younger, and more cynical, Eddie rejected the typical white picket fence pipedream so often sold to the nation’s youth. He didn’t want that for himself or anyone involved, for fear of becoming a mirror image of his father.

But alas, here he is. Living in an apartment of his own with the love of his life and his child. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

His mother’s ring that once sat heavy on his own ring finger now envelopes yours. And he is not his father. He is not his father.

He watches from the doorway as you dance around the small kitchen with your toddler perched on your hip, your very own babbling back-up singer. There goes his trochaic heart again, though not out of fear this time, but rather, as a result of watching the two greatest loves of his life happy and at peace. He is not his father.

“Dadadadada!” His son babbles enthusiastically, clapping as he catches sight of his father. You glance over then, a bright, sunny smile gracing your beautiful face. Your warmth greets Eddie like one might an old friend, with familiarity, yet he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to the way you make him feel. Happy. Fulfilled. Whole.

“Hey, buddy,” he coos at his baby, who leans towards him, tiny arms outstretched. You saunter over to Eddie so he can greet the baby as he does every lazy morning, holding him close to his chest and pressing a kiss into his dark curls. You’re still humming Fleetwood Mac under your breath as you join the cuddle, arms snaking around Eddie’s back and face disappearing into the warm crook of his neck. The flutter of your eyelashes against his skin is grounding.

“Morning, my love,” you mumble. “We were just making some breakfast.”

Eddie hums, squeezing you with his free arm, his two loves tight in his embrace where they belong. “Sounds good, baby.”

You pull away then, just a hair so you can look him in the face, still puffy from sleep, but beautiful nonetheless. There’s a hint of something in his big brown eyes, something like relief that has you furrowing your brows in a quizzical manner, “everything okay, honey?”

Eddie nods immediately, and the grin that follows is blinding, really. Everything’s okay. He’s okay. When he’s with you and the baby, his little family, how could he not be?

“Perfect, baby,”

You nod, pressing a chaste kiss to each of your boys’ cheeks, before turning back to the stove to resume breakfast. The radio is playing something else now, some bubblegum pop song Eddie doesn’t recognise, but you’re still on Fleetwood Mac, using your spatula as a makeshift microphone to serenade your husband and son.

“You, you make loving fun…”

#eds <3 #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x gn reader #eddie munson x gender neutral reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfiction #stranger things #angst #fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader angst #eddie munson x reader fluff #evie writes

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rorywritesjunk · 24 days

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I can’t tell where the journey will end But I know where to start

Prequel to my Kid Buggy fic, set about 11-ish years before that story.

Buggy meets you by chance when he needs his buttons sewn back onto his jacket. He’s young, up and coming, and he thinks everyone should cower before him wherever he goes, but all you do is smile at him.

Rating: PG-13ish just for some swearing. Warning: Buggy’s in his early 20s. I also gave him some anxiety and stuff because while he’s in love he doesn’t believe someone could love him back. He just has a lot of uncertainty with romance. Mawwiage happens. Alcohol is mentioned. Everyone’s having a good time. A/N: The epilogue! Enjoy. I am not done with these two in the sense I'll do more one-shots and the likes for them as well as AUs with Buggy's older sister and The Wives. Thank you to everyone who's been reading this! Enjoy!

Title comes from “Wake Me Up” by Avicii.

TAGLIST: @lostfirefly @ane5e @kingofthemfingpirates @the-angriest-angel @tiredemomama @valen-yamyam16 @i-reblog-fics-i-like @plethora-of-fickleness @uhnanix

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 + Chapter 10 + Chapter 11 + Chapter 12 + Chapter 13 + Chapter 14 + Chapter 15 + Chapter 16 + Chapter 17 + Chapter 18 + Epilogue

Epilogue

The marriage was far from perfect.

Your first actual fight showed Buggy you were capable of not speaking to him for an entire week. It was regarding one of Mohji’s animals, a bear that fell ill and passed away. You had been upset for both the loss of the animal and Mohji; the boy loved that bear so much. All Buggy suggested was that you not… cry so much over it. That was it, suck it up and move on. It was just a bear.

He was on his knees begging for your forgiveness by the end of the week.

Then there was the time you accidentally cut up his favorite shirt. He had left it for days on the scrap fabric pile you collected in the bedroom and asked him many times if he was sure that shirt needed to be there. He had insisted it was, but a week after you cut it up into scraps to patch some of the crew’s clothes, Buggy asked about it. You both needed to work on more than verbal communication.

And a few years into the marriage, Buggy was feeling less like you were going to leave him for every person who talked to you that he was pretty relaxed - a little too relaxed because for your birthday he took you to a pub, got a little drunk, and made a comment about how hot the barmaid was. You weren’t mad, more amused by it, but when you reminded him the next day when he sobered up what he said, he was mortified.

You were leaving him for sure for that, he was certain of it.

On his birthday you disappeared for a day on an island you begged to be dropped off at. Buggy caved, wanting to do anything for you in hopes you would forget how he acted like an ass on your birthday again. Maybe you just needed a break from him, even if it was on his birthday.

You came back after meeting up with Kuro and oh, oh the divorce was inevitable now. You had told him a few days after your birthday when he had a meltdown over how he acted and he begged for you to tell him if there was any man or pirate alive that you would have been with other than him and… that fucking cat pirate was the one you chose. Oh, he was handsome and he dressed so sharply, and you felt you had bragging rights over how well he dressed because he was your first true customer that you had repeated business with.

It was a dagger to Buggy’s heart, over and over and over again.

“What’s got you so upset?” You asked when he stopped responding, slumped on the floor with an almost empty bottle of rum beside him. You moved the bottle and knelt beside him, touching his shoulder. “You feel okay, honey?”

“Are you leaving me for Kuro?” He whimpered, refusing to look at you because he just knew the answer. You’d be happier with a better dressed pirate than with Buggy. It was startling when you chuckled and kissed him on the cheek.

“No, no. I’m not leaving you for cat-boy.” You told him as you tried to coax him to look at you. “I was getting your birthday present, Buggy, to show you how much I love you.”

He sniffled, lifting his head to see you taking your shirt off. A look of confusion crossed his face as you turned yourself to show him your arm, revealing a tattoo of his jolly roger.

“This isn’t your only present, y’know, I’m gonna make you a feast.” You said as he sat up quickly, trying to get a closer look, but the alcohol was hitting him and he slumped against you, looking up with large, watery eyes as you stroked his cheek gently. “I love you, Buggy, and I’m never leaving you.”

That… that helped. He felt better after that, though still had doubts.

The conversation about kids was… not what he anticipated. He thought you’d want kids right away, he saw how you were around children, how your eyes lit up at the family gatherings each year when you got to see all the kids(he loved the look of horror each year on your aunt’s face when the two of you showed up, she didn’t expect the marriage to last). He watched you pick up your cousin’s baby - he was two years younger than you and his wife just had their first kid. Your eyes lit up and Buggy watched your face soften with a smile he hadn’t seen before.

He waited until you two were alone to ask. To his surprise you snorted at his question and gave him a kiss. “Not just no, but hell no.”

“Wait, what?”

“Buggy, I like what we have now. Maybe someday we can have cute little kids but not right now.” You told him as you patted his cheeks gently. “And I don’t think we’re ready at all. Kids can be a discussion in a few years, okay?”

“Oh thank God.” Buggy sighed as he slumped against you, wrapping his arms around you and tightening them around you. “I can’t deal with that right now.”

You laughed softly and kissed him again, wrapping your arms around his neck as you leaned against him. “Neither can I, honey.” You smiled and looked up at him, pulling him down and bumping your forehead against his gently before kissing the tip of his nose. “I love you, Buggy. Thank you for talking to me about this.”

He blushed but didn’t look away as he hugged you. “Love you too, babe.”

It was a yearly thing for him to drink and reminisce about the good ol’ days as an apprentice on Roger’s crew. It was always the anniversary of his former captain’s execution. The first time you witnessed it he didn’t explain it to you, just grabbed bottles and bottles of alcohol to drink with the crew while you waited for an explanation on why this was happening. It wasn’t until you wrangled him to bed after he was strutting around the ship, saying he was still a great swimmer even though he was a Devil Fruit power. Before he could jump over the ship to demonstrate this, you grabbed him by the back of the pants and dragged him to the bedroom for him to sober up and explain.

Buggy slumped on the bed, not bothering to take his shoes off so you helped him. He giggled, face lighting up as you helped get him comfortable for the night.

“I got the best wifey.”

“And I have the best hubby.” You chuckled as you glanced up at him. “Can you tell me now what the drinking is for?”

“I drink to my captain!” Buggy told you excitedly, pumping his fist up to the air. “H-He was executed on this day eight years ago! I drink in his honor and to hi-his memory!”

“Oh.”

You didn’t question him further, just made sure he was comfortable that night. The years going forward, you made sure he was safe, had a reasonable amount of alcohol, and put him to bed. He never talked about it the next day, either because he didn’t want to or didn’t remember, you weren’t sure but you figured if he wanted to talk he would.

You were eleven years into this marriage. It… it was fine. It wasn’t too exciting, nor was it incredibly boring. It was just fine for you. Buggy let you take on certain roles on the ship, mostly just making sure everyone looked their best in their clothes so long as he was the best dressed. He trusted you weren’t leaving him any longer, which made it easier for you to slip out of bed in the morning to start breakfast for the two of you.

It was just right.

This morning was no different. He had his fill of alcohol the night before at the local pub with some of the crew, leaving you on the ship for a peaceful night. Buggy managed to stumble his drunken self back to the ship without falling into the water. He was sleeping off the alcohol, head under the covers as he laid curled up next to you. You woke up with him in your arms, but you managed to slip away from him. You were going to wait to start breakfast, wanting to run out to the shops first to pick up some goods before the crowds started.

Buggy stirred, peeking out from under the blankets with a grumpy expression as you got dressed. He lifted his head up just a bit before letting it fall back on the pillows. “What’re you doing?”

“Getting dressed.” You told him, keeping your voice soft as you pulled your shirt on. “I’m going to get some things. Any special requests?”

Buggy nodded, mumbling something under the blankets. You walked over and pulled them back just enough for him to mutter it to you, asking for some apples and peanut butter. He finished the last jar a week ago and had been wanting it. You rolled your eyes and kissed him on the forehead. You needed to buy two and hide them from him, apparently the last jar wasn’t hidden well enough.

“I’ll grab that for you. Anything else?”

“D’you hafta go?” He whined softly. “I want cuddles.”

“I’ll be back, honey.” You assured him as you made sure the blankets were keeping him covered. “I’ll have breakfast ready for you when you wake up, okay?”

“Promise?”

“Promise I’ll have breakfast-”

“Promise you’ll be back?” He lifted his head again, pouting up at you.

“Oh, of course I’ll be back.” You chuckled softly as you kissed his forehead. “I’ll be gone for a few hours, honey, but I’ll be back.”

He frowned sleepily but nodded, settling back down under the blankets. You gave his shoulder a squeeze and tucked the blankets around him once more before you grabbed your wallet and headed out. It shouldn’t take too long to collect what you needed, but you were excited to be at this village. You hadn’t been there in over twenty years and you wondered if there had been any changes to it.

And you enjoyed walking around as you collected your goods, putting them in your bags and basket as you chatted with the vendors about what they were selling, how the weather had been lately, just little things that weren’t related to piracy. You loved your life but having a conversation that wasn’t about what Richie had eaten the night before to upset his stomach was nice.

Your last stop was for peanut butter which you found in a little shop near the docks. It was a cute little place, selling all kinds of tasty ingredients and foods, but you only bought the peanut butter, knowing you could easily go broke buying all the fancy ingredients in the shop. Maybe if Buggy ever became incredibly rich and had lots of treasure you could think of something like that.

You bid farewell to the shopkeep as you stepped out of the shop, not watching where you were going. Something bumped into you, startling you, and when you turned to apologize, your voice caught in your throat. As far as you were aware, you were very sober so what was this you were seeing in front of you?

“Hey, watch it!” The kid in front of you snapped, glaring daggers up at you. His blue hair and bright red nose was very familiar to you.

Oh, oh no, what was going on?

#buggy the clown #sunny x buggy #buggy the clown x you #buggy the clown x reader #buggy the clown x oc #opla buggy the clown #opla buggy #opla buggy the clown x reader #opla buggy the clown x oc #opla buggy the clown x you #buggy x reader #buggy x you #buggy x oc #opla buggy x reader #opla buggy x you #opla buggy x oc

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darkwitchingflower · 2 months

Text

ITS BEEN A WHILE but here's things me and my friends have said as pjo character pt 4/5???

Annabeth: That's not very feminism of you (@wraith--2)

Hestia: maybe build like a life size bread bloke (@carpcranium)

Leo: Feels like my toes are bleeding but it's just cause they're defrosting (@wraith--2)

Percy to annabeth: Nooo pookie don't leave ill get her a spider abortion (friend not on tumblr)

Annabeth: I thought I'd die before seeing common sense in this gc (friend not on tumblr)

Jason: It's not boring to want money and to not be even more mentally ill (@indecisivenb)

Leo: Sure bud (me)

Piper: Jesus was not straight (@wraith--2)

Some random camper in the dining pavillion: Hes staring into my soup (@wraith--2)

Leo: Everyone needs a piece of Leo (friend not on gc)

Leo: Me dehydrated: must not drink sex juice (@wraith--2)

Jason: Me and Percy cockfight like 3 times (@chefchennan)

Piper: Harry x hermione

Ron x jesus or smth

Luna x whoever tf she ended with? (Friend not on tumblr)

Mr D to someone being given a quest: You don't have a choice

They don't have a choice

It's equality all around (me)

Piper: Im not a people pleaser, im a woman pleaser (friend not on tumblr)

Jason (idk why but i instantly thought Jason): saggy balls? (@chefchennan)

Thalia: From your local asexual xx (@wraith--2)

Thalia: Homicide on Pinterest is an interest (@wraith--2)

Chiron: oh that's nice to see! A camper with a smile! (My criminology teacher)

Annabeth: ye I made percy smile by telling him I didn't like him in greek! (Friend not on tumblr)

Apollo: Will! Thoughts on be crime do gay?! (@carpcranium)

Thalia about Frank: Me and him are still friends we shoot kids together yesterday (@chefchennan)

Will doing some form of doctor test idk: I'm gonna skedaddle into your scrotum (@wraith--2)

Thalia: I f**king love garlic bread yummers. Its gotten so bad that I eat is everyday. I sweat garlic butter and shit out logs of bread. It's an endless cycle and I remake the garlic break with what I unleash (friend not on tumblr)

Percy to Annabeth (leo helped after frank found them in the stables): Thine eyes are blessed with the sight of her. Her.

Who I wake to every morning and think of

Who I dream of at night

Aphrodite has forsaken me yet she is my light

The waves will roar and crash

And I know, she is always up for a smash (@wraith--2)

Leo to literally any girl with a pulse: When I see her thoughts are gone

And all I can do is simply long

She could never be mine

Yet still I pine (@wraith--2)

Rachel thinking abiut percy: Days will pass and the sun shall set

All the while I'd place a bet

That I'm still there

Twirling my hair

Dreaming of something that was never fair (@wraith--2)

Thalia: is is the most fun I've had in ages, I'm trying to teach the bot aromanticisum (@wraith--2)

Thalia: As a matter of fact I am definitely aromantic but thanks for the suggestion (@wraith--2)

Leo, he meant to say floppy disks: Have you ever seen one of those floppy dicks-...🤏 (friend not in tumblr)

Mr D: Anyways orgies (@wraith--2)

Will to Nico: She's like nah, no love hearts have an onion were like Shrek now (me)

Percy: When I go to sleep I'm going to dream about gay sea creatures aren't I? (@wraith--2)

Annabeth: It's okay I'm a big girl I cry into my pillow (@wraith--2)

Annabeth: ohhh right in the trust issues (@thatonelazyghost)

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bildad-the-shuhite-official · 6 months

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Hurt/Comfort fanfic recommendations

A late night by wilywitchwahoo G, 400 words, h/c, insecure aziraphale, crying Crowley comforts his sad angel.

Your warmth is all I have by katterv T, 900 words, physical injury, mild blood, (gorgeous) fanart included Aziraphale is hurt, unconscious and so, so cold. Crowley hates it.

Morning Glory by HopeCoppice T, 1k, hurt/comfort, gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, genderfluid crowley, fem-presenting Crowley, insecurity, body image Crowley wakes early; Aziraphale watches him worry.

Your Effervescent Tears Cleanse My Core by TotallySnowy G, 1.1k, panic attacks, cuddling, aziraphale needs a hug It all started on a rather normal day in southeastern Londen, at specifically 4:05 AM in the morning, Aziraphale awoke with a start. Very, very peculiar for an angel, lest a nobel one at that. What was even more peculiar is that Aziraphale could feel his face become flushed. Quite peculiar indeed.

Evening Star by HopeCoppice T, 1.6k, insecurity, body dysmorphia, hurt/comfort, cuddling, non sexual intimacy, non sexual nudity Aziraphale seems reluctant to join Crowley in bed, and Crowley is determined to get to the bottom of it.

All Good Hearts are Heavy by Sarah_hadeschild G, 1.8k, depression, depressed crowley, fluff, hurt/comfort, protective aziraphale Crowley has always dealt with bouts of depression-- periods in which he cannot bring himself to do much more than exist. Over the centuries, he grew accustomed to enduring these episodes on his own. But now, Aziraphale is with him. And although the angel cannot miracle away his lover's distress, he can try the only remedy he knows with any certainty. He can love him.

Counting on your love by that_angels_demon T, 2.2k, insecure Aziraphale, body dysmorphia, kissing, making out, asexual relationship, non-sexual intimacy Having finally confessed their feelings for each other after the (almost) Apocalypse, Crowley and Aziraphale explore the physicality they've always craved. But when long-internalized insecurities come to light, Aziraphale isn't so sure his demon will want this after all…

crack me open, feel me shatter by rattatatosk T, 2.7k, nightmares, Crowley’s fall, body horror, hurt/comfort Crowley dreams of the Fall. Aziraphale is there to catch him when he wakes.

To Exist and Love by IneffableDoll T, 3.1k, hurt/comfort, acephobia, asexuality, south downs cottage, hurt crowley, ace affirming, fluff Crowley runs into someone who says some bigoted nonsense about the asexual nature of his and Aziraphale’s relationship. It leaves him fuming, so when he returns home to his angel, they talk through it and navigate the complex feelings and hurts the interaction brings up. Basically: A very ace-affirming spite fic.

Flight and Fight by Phantom531 T, 3.3k, panic attack, post season 2, hurt aziraphale, angry crowley, hurt/comfort, angst Aziraphale has a panic attack and reaches for the only person he ever needed. Unfortunately, Crowley is still REALLY angry.

Crossfire by NuriaSchnee M, 4.7k, locked, post Armageddon’t, love confessions, hurt/comfort, showering together, non-sexual intimacy, first kiss In which a shower can solve 6000 years of secrets and misunderstandings. Or: Aziraphale finally breaks down at Crowley's flat and Crowley takes care of him.

I Forgive You by Sparkling12 M, 6.3k, post season 2, hurt Aziraphale, aftermath of torture, hurt/comfort, love confessions, bathing, cuddling Crowley taking care of his traumatised angel, while plotting revenge on Metatron. Part of a series: - I Forgive You

Come as you are by fruitygoblin M, 10k, body dysmorphia, insecurity, wall sex Aziraphale visits a modern art gallery, goes on a diet, and submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known. Not necessarily in that order.

Everything I've Had by AppleSeeds M, 12k, human AU, chronic illness, chronic pain, hurt/comfort, bathing/washing, domestic fluff, childhood friends to lovers After developing a chronic illness that leaves him unable to live alone, Crowley moves back home to London where he reunites with his childhood best friend Aziraphale. Aziraphale helps to take care of Crowley and keeps him company while he's in bed, bringing them closer together and reigniting old feelings.

Touch my Tears with Your Lips by IneffableDoll T, 27k, post season 2, season 2 fix it, hurt/comfort, understimulation, making up, trauma, touch starvation, south down cottage In Heaven, there was nothing to touch. Aziraphale re-tied the knot of his bowtie again and again and again. He was alone, and nothing was real, and he was alone, and nothing was real.

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens season 2 #good omens fic recs #good omens fanfiction

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kazpng · 6 months

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nottemdude HCs pls do (⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)

YES THANK YOU IM SO NORMAL OVER THEM

●Not Important has some serious self esteem issues that he likes to pretend he doesn't have (but totally does). Hence the long hair that pretty much hides his face and the overall negative outlook on life. Postal Dude on the other hand, while having his schizophrenia, doesn't nearly suffer as badly as he did when he was younger (Postal 1). Not Important also doesn't take compliments from anyone, not even his parents (if he still talked to them), but if Dude says something nice about him? Well, that's okay. He cannot say thank you to save his life, but he quietly grumbles to himself and flushes under his bangs.

●Speaking of bangs! Very rarely does Not Important actually tie them up in a ponytail. I love the concept but realistically I know it doesn't happen all that often, unless its New York summer.... Postal Dude loves how Not Important looks though, and will encourage seeing his face to eternity.

●If Not Important survives the events of Hatred: Postal Dude would totally try to get Not Important the help and therapy he needs because BOY does he need it. I love imagining Postal Dude driving Not Important to his weekly session and sitting with him in the waiting room so Nottem doesn't break into a panic attack while waiting (I'm projecting). Postal Dude is just a really supportive boyfriend overall <3

●After seeing the stickynote doodle from Postal 4 (and then crying over said stickynote) I have accepted it as canon that Not Important is a complete lovesick fanboy of Postal Dude, more specifically P1 Dude, and that's how they met in the first place! Before carrying out the events of Hatred, Not Important knew he planned on not being alive after, so he sought out finding his idol and at least meeting him before kicking the bucket and all that. Wasn't expecting too much from the encounter, but it turned out that current day Postal Dude was way nicer than anyone else in Not Important's life, and it acted almost like a wake-up call for him. Nottem thought he was slick, but his very obvious crush on his idol was very apparent to Postal Dude, but Dude was nice enough to not mention it until later.

●As for more domestic things between them, I feel like Postal Dude has to take initiative far more often, and it almost always ends up in a flustered Not Important. See, when Postal Dude blushes, he looks fairly normal, but because Not Important is lacking any pigment (his ass does NOT go outside), any color on his cheeks is incredibly noticeable and BRIGHT. Postal Dude, ever the tease, points it every time, putting on a baby voice and cooing at Not Important, saying things like "I knew you were human!" and other things of the like.

●Last thing for now because I think I've proven my nottemdude obsession, favorite things about each other! Not Important madly respects Postal Dude's resilience and how he's managed to cope with his past and his mental illnesses. Not to mention how attractive Dude is of course. Postal Dude sees a lot of himself in Not Important and wants only the best for him, plus he loves Nottem's endearing quirks and habits.

#they are soooo silly #nottemdude #not important #nottem portant #postal dude #postal #hatred game #I AM NORMAL OVER THEM #ty anon btw i am looking at you with my pleadingly wet eyes #i project A LOT on nottem IM SORRY hes just kinda me fr

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thedancingcostumeyoungadult · 1 year

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A Season for Lovers (part 3) - S.R

Doctor Spencer Reid returns after two years away, joining the social season with eyes only for one young lady.

Part 1 here, part 2 here, part 4 here

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Warnings: eventual smut but not in this part, mutual pining, brothers best friend trope

Word count:~ 2250

After dinner is finished and Spencer leaves, you wait until the house has long been silent before creeping out of bed and slipping outside, your shawl wrapped tightly around you as you steal across the lawn and into the trees.

“Spencer?” You call softly into the darkness, your eyes searching the tree’s shadows for his silhouette.

“I’m here, my angel.” His warm voice sends a thrill of joy through you as he comes into view, your feet already carrying you forward and into his waiting arms. He immediately draws you close to his chest, his hand tilting your face up to his so that he could kiss you.

“I missed you.” You murmur against his lips, and even though it had only been a few hours, it was true. All you’d been able to think of was him and how badly you wanted to be back in his embrace. Luckily, he seems to understand as you feel him smile.

“I missed you too.” You pull back a little to look at him, even though in the darkness you can’t see much. But you swear you know his face by heart and what you can see by the light of the moon is just enough to satisfy you.

“We’re getting married.” You whisper as if it’s some secret, albeit a joyful one. He laughs, giving you a squeeze.

“Yes we are, and the second we have a date I will be counting the days.”

“Well with the way my mother and aunt have been talking I think they’ll have the whole thing planned by supper tomorrow.” His hand finds yours in the dark and he laces your fingers together, bringing them up to rest the back of your hand against his chest.

“Does that mean I get to marry you the day after that?” You hear his smile more than you see it, letting out a quiet snort as you shake your head.

“If only.” He goes quiet for a moment, his thumb brushing across your knuckles.

“I want to tell you something.” He speaks so quietly that if you were only a step or two farther away you would have missed it, and his words settle heavy in your stomach. You don’t think it could be anything bad, and you know about his work and his mother’s illness, but the anxiety sets in anyway.

“Tell me.” You plead softly after he pauses to wait for your reaction. He takes a deep, slightly shaky breath, and then speaks.

“My father barely managed to do his duty to us, but I want to do more than my duty for you. I want to hear your laugh and see your smile every day and if there’s days when you must cry, I want to be there with you, to hold you close and bring you any comfort I can. I want to share your life, my angel, every joy and sorrow.” You can’t reply for a moment, not trusting your voice to work properly around the lump in your throat, any traces of anxiety immediately vanishing. When you can speak again, you do so softly, not even wanting the trees to hear.

“I want to give you everything, Spencer, I want to give you every joy in the world. I want to wake up to you, and raise your children—“ He cuts you off with a kiss, his hands desperate as they grip your waist to pull you ever closer to him. After a moment of surprise, you kiss him back eagerly, your fingers tangling in his hair and brushing along his jaw. You pull back when you feel wetness on his face.

“Spencer,” you exclaim softly, gently sweeping away the tears you find on his cheeks, “my love, what’s wrong?” He shakes his head, a grin breaking out across his face as his hands come up to cradle your face.

“Nothing, angel, nothings wrong.” He rests his forehead against yours, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “I just–” He breaks off with a breathless chuckle, kissing your cheek quickly. “I just needed to make sure that I’m not dreaming right now.” Your quiet laughter joins his, your foreheads resting together as he wraps his arms around your shoulders, your own snaking around his waist.

“No, you are very much awake, my love.” He tucks your head under his chin, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“Good.” You hold each other in silence for a while and as you do you listen to the steady thud of his heartbeat against your ear, the breeze rustling the leaves, and the faint thrum of the nighttime creatures. This, you think, is what Heaven must feel like.

“Did you mean it?” He asks, his hand running in steady strokes up and down your back.

“About children?” You don’t lift your head from his chest as you reply, your fingers drawing absentminded patterns on his shirt. He hums in affirmation and you can’t help but smile to yourself as you nod.

“I do. I do want to raise children with you, Spencer.” His hand trembles slightly as it comes to rest on the back of your head, cradling you impossibly closer as he tucks his face against your hair.

“I can’t wait.”

“We have known Spencer all his life, he and his mother are very dear to us and it would give us no greater joy than to help with the wedding preparations.” Your chest is tight with emotion as Lydia Beaumont speaks. She’s an older woman with distinguished silver hair and a kindly demeanor that shines through even more when she fixes you with a warm smile.

“If you’ll have my help, of course.” You know practically nothing about wedding planning, so you jump at the opportunity to have the help of not only your mother and aunt, but her as well.

“I would be delighted to have your help, thank you Mrs. Beaumont. I remember your daughter’s wedding seasons ago being absolutely stunning.” Your mother commandeers the conversation, eager to get things sorted out and in order, and you do your best to follow along but you quickly find your eyes glazing over as she rattles off things that need doing. Catching your eye, Mrs Beaumont speaks up.

“I believe our young bride might be getting a touch overwhelmed. How about I come back tomorrow and we can draw up a plan then?” She stands and quirks an eyebrow at you.

“My dear, would you be so kind as to walk me out?” You’re standing in an instant, allowing her to loop her arm through yours and together you make your way out of the room. In the hallway, you walk in soft silence for a few moments before Mrs Beaumont speaks.

“I must say, we’ve been waiting for this for a long time, my dear.” You cock your head to the side, casting her a slightly confused glance.

“Waiting for what, Mrs Beaumont?”

“Waiting for Spencer to pluck up the courage.” She continues without pause, seemingly oblivious to the way your heart felt like it would leap straight out of your chest. “I remember when he came to stay that summer some years ago, I was the one that introduced him to your brother, you know. Anyhow, we had him to supper at our house and your name came up. Bless him, that poor boy turned so pink he looked like he’d been sunburnt.” You can’t help but giggle at the image as you were nearly overwhelmed by giddiness. All this time you truly hadn’t been imagining it, the gazes that last a moment too long, the passing grazes that left a thrill in your stomach.

“I didn’t know.” You can’t keep the smile from your face as you reach the front door, opened before you by Michael. Mrs Beaumont pauses in the doorway, turning to you with a smile and a warm sparkle in her eye. Gently, she brings one of her hands up to touch your cheek.

“I am glad he found you, sweet girl.”

“James? Come inside please, it's going to rain.” Spencer can’t help but smile at you from his seat in the drawing room as you call out to your cousin through the double glass doors, left slightly ajar. The breeze wafting through does smell like rain, though the young boy outside doesn’t seem to realize or care as he frolics around the small garden.

“No it’s not!” He answers cheekily, dashing away when you go to chase him, the grin adorning your face making Spencer’s own widen further. A sudden roll of thunder sends the boy scurrying inside, straight into your arms where you scoop him up, letting him bury his face in your neck as the first large drops of rain begin to fall outside.

It was an image he would not be quick to forget even if he could, you cooing softly to the child on your hip, and it fills his chest with a heavy, desperate want, pushing the air from his lungs as he imagines it being his child in your arms. He swallows thickly as you set the boy back on his feet, whispering something to him before he scampers away deeper into the house. He pushes those thoughts to the back of his mind, hiding them away as if you could see them as you reclaim your seat across from him, pulling your embroidery frame back into position.

“He’s a character.” Spencer speaks quietly, gazing softly at you over the edge of his sketchbook, a small sketch of your likeness just finished and hidden under his hand. You glance up at him with another one of your smiles that feels like it sets the world back on a steady axis.

“He’s a little devil, you mean.” Your eyes only linger for a bare moment on his but it’s long enough for his heart to stutter and sink when you look away. His eyes stay on you, the blush pink of your gown a bright spot in the dim gray light as the rain picks up outside, the little furrow between your brows as you inspect your work so endearing to him. Thomas’ book snapping shut makes him jump. He’d truly forgotten that his friend was there, which he feels slightly embarrassed about as the other man stands.

“Well it seems we won’t be going out this afternoon after all, so who’s up for some cards?” Spencer looks to you as you set the frame aside with a cheeky grin.

“Only if you’re both prepared to lose.” And lose they did, Thomas because you’re better than him, and Spencer because he let himself. He would rather tarnish his reputation as a card player than pass up seeing your giddy excitement as you win round after round, much to Thomas’ frustration.

“Again? She’s cheating, I know she is.” Spencer merely shakes his head and pushes the last of his pile of candied fruits over to you, grinning to himself as you happily pop one in your mouth and shoot your brother a gloating smile as you add the rest to your already sizable collection.

“No, brother, I am simply that good.”

Another summer rain has trapped you inside, though this time Spencer finds himself rejoicing because the squall has trapped him at your house, and it gives you the opportunity to simply be together for a while. You find yourselves in the library, with the adjoining door into your father’s office opened, of course. Shoulder-to-shoulder on the small couch, he’s coaxed your hand into his, cradling it between his palms as he watches your eyes crinkle in laughter at the story he’s telling you.

“And he pulled you in?” The humorous sparkle in your eyes as you look up at him leaves him slightly breathless, rushing to answer your question.

“Dragged right in after him.” You erupt in sweet giggles and his heart leaps joyously in his chest at the sound. He'd spent two years clinging to the memory of you, your laugh, and now he gets to bask unashamedly in the warmth you give off. He only wishes it had happened sooner, a sentiment you seem to share as your giggles cease.

"I feel as though we've lost so much time." You murmur, a soft, plaintive look on your face. Spencer can't help but smile down at you as he replies.

"We'll make up for it." A light dusting of pink appears across your cheeks as he brings your hand to his lips, placing a tender kiss on the knuckle of your ring finger, just below the ring itself. “We’ll have all the time in the world, my love.” He lowers your intertwined hands, and, unable to refrain any longer, driven forward by the ache in his chest that begs him to be closer to you, leans forward and presses a slow, tender kiss to your lips. You melt into it, the soft warmth of your lips driving any and every other thought from his mind. For a moment, there was nothing in the world but you and him and the soft rumble of the rain on the windows. Then, out of sight in his study, your father coughs, some papers rustle, and you two break apart, reluctantly returning to an acceptable distance as your eyes flutter back open.

“What was that for?” You whisper, a smile playing at the corners of your mouth. He simply shrugged lightly.

“I just wanted to kiss you.”

~~please like and reblog and tell me what you think!

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pretty-chaotic-world · 6 months

Text

if my BPD can scream

1. I wish i could have a normal love... but no, my brain wants to worship every little detail of you until it drives me insane

2. sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal

3. I’m sick of going to bed and knowing things won’t be better tomorrow

4. I'll ask you thousands times if you really love, please don't get annoyed

5. I'll create "drama" and mishaps only to feel like I'm in home

6. i’m afraid that one day my anger will overshadow the little love i still have left for the world

7. I feel numb. No tears, no anger, nothing. Just going through the same day again and again. I would rather just sleep without waking up.

8. I'm so tired of everytime one small argument or inconvenience breaks out I want to end it and self destruct, it's so draining.

9. I want to stop feeling anything and when i actually don't it breaks my heart but I can't cry it out.

10. "its all in your head" well duh where tf else is it gonna be??? in my fucking kidneys????

11. I am constantly between wanting people to care about me and wanting them not to so I can hurt myself without feeling guilty

12. Psychiatrist told me there is no cure for bpd and I've to change myself. Well why cant they just let me die then?

13. Until you live with bpd you'll never know what it's like to be too much and not enough at the same time.

14. i know im constantly too much for everyone but sometimes i just want to be enough for someone

15. if he will leave me, my next diagnosis will be of "sociopath"

16. im so jealous of all the people who see him and touch him and talk to him every single day it should be me me me me

17. oh I got my hair coloured. why? because I can't hurt myself anymore

18. "you're so distant" because you can't handle my abandonment issues.

19. My younger self disappoint me a lot. like why were you begging people to stay in your life? ohh no worries I know the answer

20. I wanna throw a plate against the wall, stab a knife through my hand, destroy my laptop with a hammer, smash my door in with an axe and spray graffiti all over the walls of my room

21. Why shouldn’t I be mad? Why can’t I just be angry and be allowed to feel it? Why can’t I burn everything down?

22. I have to watch my mouth every fucking second to make sure I don't destroy every relation I have coz apparently social life matters!!

23. Isnt it fucked up how he got away with every horrible thing he made me experience and I’m the one who has to live with myself feeling absolutely fucking worthless

24. I don't deserve food and love. im a horrible person.

25. this is how my eating cycle goes

feeling weak coz i haven't ate anything -> eat -> purge -> feeling guilty after purging -> eat more -> feeling guilty after eating so much -> cry coz you don't know what's happening

26. the diagnosis makes me believe I'm not insane just lil emo ig!! NOOOO YOU'RE INSANE

27. “don’t let it bother u” baby i’m gonna be bothered by this for the next 10 years

28. if I tell you I love you its equivalent to I can kill someone for you

29. Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurt my feelings

30. I don't dive into insecurity anymore, i drown in self-loathe

31. i shut up in between group convo coz I know I'll talk invaluable shit and nobody really cares what I say until it's psychology class

32. "if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally

33. “Where do you see yourself in the future” building a cult for mentally ill people

34. ofc I've a praise kind i was ignored as a child

35. I'm much better than I was before. you know why coz I don't to air now and don't see monsters walking by side all the time

36. No I don't want to self harm anymore I need to kill that fucking monster

37. Don't mind me, I'm just casually sabotaging all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesn't feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring

38. i don’t care i don’t care i don’t care (im going to sob my fucking eyes out)

39. “Stop making your disorder your personality” I have a fucking personality disorder for god sake

40. turning my mental illnesses into kinks and calling it the BDSM-5

41. "destroy something precious while you're in rage" ohh yeaa and then I'll do that again and again

42. what I hate most about my BPD is the fact that I have started doubting every emotion that I’ve ever felt in my life, whether it’s love, my grief through multiple traumas, or my anger, & it’s so saddening. It has actually led me to start questioning my reality.

43. if I need medication to stay alive, am I really meant to be here?

44. it's either be alone without 75% of my symptoms, or be with someone and display the most horrendous unstable awful version of myself. why do i have to choose between love & happiness or peace & stability?

45. That fucking bpd rage where everyone's voices makes you want to scream and every noise around you makes you want to sh and you're so mad you can almost feel the cuts everywhere

46. getting worked up to the point of becoming physically ill (throwing up/stomach issues etc) because you felt rejected/abandoned by your favourite person

47. i wish my trauma made me kind as everyone says but i’m becoming what i fear the most- a monster.

48. imagine getting diagnosed with a personality disorder and the only visible representation of that disorder is an animated horse man, a sociopathic sitcom character from philadelphia, and darth vader

#bpd #bpd awareness #personality disorder #borderline personality disorder #mental illness #mental health #mental instability

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