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#if you think faking this shit doesn’t matter then try like. actually asking ppl that have it???
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fuck you people who fake tourettes fuck you people who say they want tourettes fuck you people who have made having tourettes into smthn cute quirky and desirable!!!!! i’m mad!!!!!!!! fuck you fuck you fuck you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#this goes for any disorder or anything like. fuck off.#if you think faking this shit doesn’t matter then try like. actually asking ppl that have it???#tried to explain that i had tourettes to my last employer. they thought i was faking it lmfao#bc they had seen people on tiktok faking it so often. they thought i just WANTED to have tourettes. and i didn’t#get the understanding and kindness i deserved until i could explain my dx and who i got it from#so they could know i wasn’t lying. i shouldn’t have to do that much to ‘prove’ my syndromes and disorders#just bc SOME PEOPLE think it’s cool to act like they have shit or they want to have shit. like NO!!! you’re ACTIVELY harming the communities#and you don’t even fucking care!!!!#my tics hurt!!! they hurt so damn bad some days and i’m one of the LUCKY ONES that has gotten less severe with age!!!#and im medicated!!!!!! and i still have days where i just wanna lay down and cry and never leave my room#some of my tics are cute ones. those tics DO exist. i have a few and have had others over the years that are gone now#but then i pop my joints out of place. pop my jaw out of place over and over. snap my head to the side. and again these are MILD compared to#SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE with ts#bet y’all don’t fucking WANT those tics. bet you don’t WANT to be hitting yourselves full force amd bruising ur skin constantly#i’m sorry for ranting in the tags but holy fucking shit this pissed me off#saw some shit on tumblr and tiktok and im. hooooo buddy. fuck you so bad.#ok. i’ll shut up now. tourettes isn’t fucking quirky.#rant tw#tw rant
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daz4i · 2 years
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top 10 favorite fanfic tropes!!!!!
mwah thank you!!!!! <3
tbh some of these obviously exist in like, official media, but i’m gonna treat it as like. what i enjoy to read the most in fics. or like they’re not exactly tropes as is but can be used as such?? i think you get me. also other than the top 5 the order doesn’t matter much tbh. ok now that we’re all on the same page there we go 
10. ok i have to include it even tho it’s fandom specific. palace fics lol. at this point they’re one of the only plot things i even try to read. i just think that the structure of it is a really good way to open people’s creativity and that it’s nice to explore characters in various ways with them it’s so cool
9. ppl are gonna laugh at me for that but i fucking love fics that take characters from extreme universes or situations and puts them through the most mundane shit ever. ig it’s just modern aus in a way?? but yeah i love them they’re always so funny BUT ALSO WHEN THEY’RE NOT THEY SOMEHOW HIT SO MUCH HARDER
8. demon/angel aus. together (tho i’m also a big fan of demon x human stuff). bc it’s me how can i not include it. i think it’s very sexy when angels and demons fall in love and having to question both their place in the universe and their morals for love i think it’s very sexy. also special interest go brrrr. unfortunately i haven’t read that many good fics with that au but i do tend to write at least one for each fandom i’m in bc it’s very dear to me and i love everything you can do with it 
7. any au of like. workers in the stores across the street from each other. like the classic is flower shop/tattoo parlor which is SO good but honestly any sort of shop works. they’re just so fun and chill and i love them idk. ig this is an extent of modern aus but shhhhh
6. whump. what can i say. i love suffering
5. canon divergence but like, in a butterfly effect way. like a character makes a very small decision different from canon and it changes the whole story completely (have to rec it’s just a light rain (but a storm's still comin') as an excellent example for that if you like p5)
4. soulmate aus 🥰 idk why but i’m really really attached to those even if irl it sounds awful and painful. i like to joke that my brain is a soulmate au machine bc it really is. give me any word i’ll turn it into a soulmate au guaranteed
3. chatfics and other online based stuff!!!!!! they’re so fun and i love when people go the extra mile to make their fic look like the app(s) it’s happening on it’s literally so cool. chatfics are so fun as is and are mostly used for crack stuff, yes, but i also genuinely think it’s a very unique way to tell a story when done correctly and i’ve read some fics that were mostly texting based in a way that really stuck with me (one example off the top of my head is all the king’s men that i really rec if you like fe3h)
2. it’d be first but unfortunately the main problem is it can’t work with every ship. like ig you can technically apply it to every ship but it doesn’t hit as hard as ships that fit it. anyway i love murder couples so so much. couples who kill together. couples where one kills and the other gets them their victims or helps them clear the evidence and give them an alibi. couples who torture people together and these are date nights. you can’t go wrong there tbh (but again it usually works with ships where like, one person already kills people in canon for example)
1. fake dating. no doubt no doubt. it’s so versatile and it’s always just GOOD no matter what. it leads to actually valid forms of miscommunication or misunderstandings and i think that’s very cool. why is it the first you may ask? well let me tell you about a special little ship that’s been haunting me since like 2014-2015 called kurotsuki. i’m not actually gonna get into it i’ll just say some of the most popular fics abt it are fake dating and this made me very much fall in love with that trope big time. it’s also just good ol human relationships-based conflict that can work in literally any setting for a variety of different reasons. like i said it’s just GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can’t top it. very hard to mess it up bc the more convoluted and messy your story is the better it gets. it’s the perfect trope
send some top 5/top 10 asks?
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bugb34r · 3 years
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A Wide, Extensive List of c!Wilbur Headcannons(TM) (+ some quick Friend hcs-)
Alot of them are not connected, and alot of them are- I'll try to organize it as accessible + readable as possible !!
☁️Pagan!Revivedbur. (I actually created a whole pagan!dsmp thing one time off of this headcannon, might talk more about it some time-). I'd like to think he'd be into candle magic and shit, but overall have a very open path/practice.
⛤Revivedbur openly respects Ghostbur, and clings to the things he left behind.
⛤Revivedbur doesnt bother washing his sweater/getting the blood stain out because its a mix of his own red blood, and Ghostburs blue blood, and he doesnt want that small proof/trace of Ghostbur existing to disappear.
Aka Ghostbur had to live with the pain Revivedbur had and caused, even if he didnt truly accept/understand/know where the pain came from. Revivedbur realized he couldnt even live with all of that, so he just- respects the dude who tried to fix everything he had broke (Or: Im a sucker for Revivedbur and Ghostbur getting along/respecting eachother/etc. and I disregard canon-)
⛤Revivedbur is afraid of water/rain/getting wet, because he remembers it hurting Ghostbur, aka him
⛤Revivedbur uses neos prove me wrong you cant- /lh
⛤Revivedbur says no to gender, and he doesnt like it when ppl use he/him and masc terms for him but for the longest time couldnt figure out why
⛤He ends up talking to Ranboo, and later Fundy, abt it and theyre like "oh lol thats chill" and hes like "omg ok pog"
⛤Revivedbur has the majority of bad memories Ghostbur had forgotten/ignored/blocked out
⛤Revivedbur doesnt talk about Limbo, or his talk with Ghostbur, or that he remembers things from Ghostburs time "alive", but he vague mentions it alot when hes lamenting or upset or smth
☁️Ghostburs limbo isnt the train station, its the train. (Mumza comes onto the train now and then to check on him <33 she did the same with Revivedbur via train aswell)
⛤Following this, when Revivedbur got on the train when he was being yaknow, revived, he sat with Ghostbur the whole time, and the two apologized to eachother for their own reasons, and they just. talked. about everything the other had missed.
⛤Ghostbur finds peace on the train in Limbo. While he isnt happy, hes okay, and thats all that matters
⛤Ghostbur asked Revivedbur to take care of Friend for him
⛤Disregarding Canon, Revivedbur takes care of Friend, and has refused to let anyone so much as touch Friend since hes been alive
⛤Ghostbur didnt get/understand the fake sally at his revival because he knew it wasnt Sally, not because of Ghostburs memory
☁️Friend can visit Ghostbur in Limbo, because she has infinite lives
⛤Friend uses any/all prns including neos because I say so.
⛤Friend is sheep buddies with Rosie (Phils Sheep)
☁️Poly relationship between Wilbur, a Sheep Hybrid, and Sally- Its why Ghostburs so attached to friend, cause they remind him of his old partner
☁️Sally wasnt a fish (i do like hybrid/siren sally but for this im ignoring that-), it was just Wilburs coping mechanism for coming to terms with loosing her. He had to create a fake version of her to be able to talk about her. (The only one who knows this is Fundy, but he learned to go along with it because it keeps Wilbur happy) (the same might also be said for the Sheep Hybrid in this universe- Wilbur just refers to them as a sheep to cope) Also he would definitely jokingly call Sally Ariel
☁️Wilbur is a shapeshifter I don't make the rules- He likes being in his fox form alot, so Fundy like- inherited the Fox bit- (Though Shapeshifter Fundy is also cool-)
⛤Wilbur is a shapeshifter whos three forms are literally limited to a) humanoid Moth, b) Humanoid Fox, and c) A weird mix of both
☁️Wilbur doesn't understand Gender, so when Fundy came out as Trans he was just like "Um. Huh??? Gender??? Trans??? Fundy whats a boy-" IKMJN and Fundy just kinda stared at him before going to Sally because he realized his Dad didn't even know Fundy had had a gender-
☁️Wilbur being tied to the earth through like, godly means? and the Earth is like "hey, no, our prince isnt where he belongs anymore, he must return home to safety <3". Just, the earth loving Wilbur more than anything else, and wanting their prince to be safe- <3 (Earth Deity Wilbur pog???)
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ah-ga-seven · 3 years
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i recently saw a post about nct, saying that ppl are writing sexual fics between the members. for example, it would prob be like johnnyxyuta or something. granted, i don’t really like fics like those. but the comments of the posts made me feel quite bad about even liking fanfics in general. i don’t read or write any harmful fics at all. but some comments were like, “ppl who write or read fanfictions are weird.” “fanfics are fucking disgusting” “they’re gross, it doesn’t matter if they’re nsfw or not” “ur obsessed if ur into fanfics” now i feel so bad, am i really obsessive? i just enjoy reading and writing and people write amazing things and i want to show them that their work doesn’t go unappreciated. it just makes me feel like i’m doing something wrong and i feel so guilty.
I personally think that shipping members is taking it too far (for me) and I wouldn’t write that....
H o w e v e r. Fanfiction is and will always be a controversial form of self expression and art. It’s not for everyone but honestly...it’s not that deep. Ugh, how do I put this...
K-pop is built to use both male and female idols and romanticize them to the public for money making purposes. The industry thrives off of the relationship the fans have with the artist but its literally just that: capitalism lol. So if people have an issue with fics they should have an issue with the whole damn industry??I’m not trying to make this super technical but reading imaginary stories isn’t harming anyone since MOST people can differentiate fiction from reality. That’s why i’m against shipping members because it adds to realism and fans take it too far to the point where the idols in question actually get stressed tf out by it while its ruining their friendships and thats just wrong.
I’ve seen many kpop entertainments push the boyfriend concepts a little too far sometimes and I can’t control who reads my fics but I always put disclaimers that its fake and that the shit I write shouldn’t be taken too seriously even if that goes without saying, delusional ones will always be around its just inevitable.
What i’m trying to say with too many words is: reading and/or writing fics is all personal preference. And people will always have different views on this. In my opinion its just as much of fanart as drawings and covers and most of the time it offers an emotional and mental escape to the reader that often finds comfort in the idols in question anyway and honestly, theres nothing wrong with thats because its not harming anyone directly. It’s just taking the original ‘idol’ concept a little further by creating imaginary worlds, stories and interactions around their already public image.
All in all, read what you want and write what you want but be sure to not brainwash yourself into thinking you have any say what so ever in the personal life of the idol in question. We do not own them nor are we entitled to have an opinion on their personal lives and as long as you get that its fineeee trust me.
This was way too much of an extensive answer but I’ve been getting quite a few asks abt this stuff so by putting this out there I hope to never get them again lmaoo, hope it helped 😭✌🏽
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kicksaddictny · 3 years
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Kicksaddict Sneakerhead PROFILES Interview Series: @CakedaGawd
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After a long Hiatus, we’ve returned! Our popular Profile series has been requested almost on a daily basis (Thanks for the tweets, dms and emails). We were even threatened! (Thanks by the way).
Cake The Gawd! This one was so much fun. Tap in.
Where are you from? Brooklyn, NY born in Crown Heights raised in East Flatbush.
How long have you been collecting sneakers? I was introduced to sneakers in 1991 but I started collecting for myself in 98.
What’s your favorite sneaker and why? Air Jordan 6 Infrared. It's the shoe Michael was wearing when he won his first championship, and to me just it’s just the most beautiful Jordan shoe to date! The silhouette is unmatched, it is timeless, and no matter how many times it is retroed I will buy it!
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Besides your hometown, what is the best city for sneakerheads that you know of? Why? I would say LA 100% !! It is a vibe out there. I am part of a sneaker group and 75% of the people in there are from LA. They really about the culture they know their shit and they are fresh as fuck too.
Do you collect just for collecting or do you collect and rock? I collect and rock. That is why I double up on certain shoes.. Some kicks you gotta have for store and show but some you just have to rock them!
What sneaker got you into the sneaker game? I cannot pinpoint one thing, it is so many things. It was Music, my parents introducing me to Nike, my older cousin, basketball, the dope boys around the way, and my 3rd grade crush and her cousin who both had Aqua 8's. (LOL) I cannot just say 1 thing because they all had a significant part in it.
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What are your thoughts on these fake celebrity sneakerheads? I hate them all! All of these dudes just get perks, some of them do not even know the shoes. That shit really gets under my skin. Showing off shoes that they get and not even knowing the name or numbers of the shoes, creating their own names. Shit is sickening. S/O to the Sneaker Gawd Wale !
How do you feel about the Off white collabs? I liked the first round of the collabs. With the Presto's, Air maxes, Blazers, and Jordan 1's. I think after that it should've been left alone. But I can respect what they are doing over there. I just won my first pair of Off-White's with the Lot 50 joint.
If you could wear only one sneaker for the rest of your life, what would it be? Air Jordan 3 Black Cement. Yes 6's are my favorite of all time but the Black Cement 3's just go with EVERYTHING!
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What advice would you give as far as storing and preservation of your sneakers? Wear your kicks man. I store and rock! I get it, wanting to save shoes but putting them away and never rocking them, when you finally do ya it’s separating and crumbling. In order for your kicks to last they gotta be worn anyway. Unless you're truly just on some collecting only for show vibes.
What is the most you’ve ever spent on a pair of sneakers? $900... I was able to land Black and Red and Royal 1's from 2001 together. A friend of mine had them and said he couldn't think of anyone else. I had literally just started my new job. A chunk of my first check went to that pick up.
Have you ever waited in line for a pair of kicks? I waited in line once in my life for shoes and swore I would never do it again. It was for the 2001 True Blue 3's. I waited online at like 7 in the morning at Kings Plaza. LMAO I said this will never happen again. I didn't have the patience for it. I do not know how ppl used to do that shit or camp for kicks. I was there for 1 hour and I was like this is ridiculous.
You're also a photographer, how long have you been taking photos? I have been taking photos since 2011 but officially became a photographer in 2013.
How do sneakers play a role in your photography? That is a great question because I didn't want the 2 to mix at all. Because I'm a scenery and landscape photographer. But I got into photography because of sneakers. No offense to anyone but a bunch of these  "influencers" get on IG with their DSLR cameras, take some on foot shots and call themselves "Photographers". 90% of them do not even understand lighting. I didn't wanna be one of those guys because I actually live this and study it. But recently I just started letting it be that and owning it. I am nice with this photography shit when it comes to sneakers. I have a deep connection with shoes and I love incorporating that into my art. I thank my wife for that. I told her I don't wanna be just another sneaker photographer and she said to me who said you have to be ?! I took that and ran with it. Off-White just recently featured some of my pictures on their Instagram.
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I remember you saying you're a sneaker enthusiast, what is the difference between that and a sneakerhead? An enthusiast really studies sneakers. Sneakerheads just love sneakers like it ain't really about the history and all that for them. They just love shoes because it is cool and makes them feel good. Us Enthusiasts are invested. Things matter like knowing years of a shoe. For example, an enthusiast would look at a pair of Jordan's like Taxi 12's, We know Michael wore those in the 1996 - 97 season, but we also know that Martin gave away a pair on his show for the Christmas episode to the kid who had holes in shoes. They are tied to iconic moments. A sneakerhead may love Bordeaux 7's because they are dope looking shoes. Where for me it's that Michael Jordan wore those in a video with Michael Jackson and Kris Kross in the 92 Jam video. MJ and MJ in a video with Kris Kross, do you know what that did to my childhood?! Give you one more example that is not even Michael Jordan related. Piggy backing off of Kris Kross,The Patrick Ewing’s were one of my favorite kicks growing up besides seeing Pat play in them one of my favorite Hip Hop covers of all time is "Totally Krossed Out" and Kris Kross is wearing both colorways. So you see what I mean there is so much tied to it with being an enthusiast. This is just my opinion though some may not agree so don't shoot me! (Ha)
From the time you started collecting up until now, would you say that the sneaker game changed for the best or the worst? I have been collecting for 20 plus years now. I have seen the game at it's best, I have seen it die, I have seen it revive, and now I am witnessing the death of it again. The sneaker game is disgusting right now, and I honestly do not think it will ever recover. It really saddens me. It is a popularity and money contest right now.
Does pricing affect your collection? Hell No! And I hate that some people are trying to make this the norm. IDGAF if you paid $500 - $2000 for a pair, It doesn't mean shit.  The narrative is getting outta hand.
What does the word “Hypebeast” mean to you? Hypebeast is a person that only buys shit for status and popularity. They cannot form their own opinion about shit. They have to wear and cop items based on what every celeb is wearing or whatever these Social Media "Influencers" are saying is hot! It is not only sneaker related either. N*ggaz were hypebeasting for PS5 last year..
What are your thoughts on the females in the sneaker game? They are the best! I wish we had a Sneaker union and it was only run by females! The men in this game are annoying and so over the top. It is so bad that they feel the need to compete with women. The men get shoes just to show off to one another. Like what type of shit is that? The females are cool. I had a dude on twitter tell me women don't know the value of a shoe let alone about the shoe. The men feel like they always gotta try to shit on the women. The women are just trying to be part of the culture and enjoy it. And they shouldn't have to try to be part of something that is open to anyone who is willing to be invested and understand the culture.
Any advice for a young kid coming up in the sneaker game? Wear what you like! Respect the game and the people who have been doing it before you. Because this new generation of sneakerheads are little entitled dicks. No respect whatsoever!! I don't care about Travis Scott shoes. Without Jordan being who he is Travis wouldn't have a Jordan silhouette to collaborate with! Same with Off-White. These silhouettes were here before these guys. Say know your history and pay homage!! BUT STAY humble.
See I follow you and I'm loving the way you include your daughter in your work, what does that mean to you? Man, it is beautiful!!!! Without even trying she is invested in the culture. Both photography and shoes. Myself and my wife are both heavy into photography, art, music, sneakers, and clothes. My daughter is into all the same things but we are letting it be her own experience. We are not forcing anything on her. We want her to enjoy being a child and whatever things she picks up from us along the way is just a bonus. But I love shooting her, and I love when she asks myself and her mother "do we like her fit". It is truly a blessing man!
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All photos by CAKEDAGAWD
Follow : https://twitter.com/CakedaGawd 
https://www.instagram.com/whatsinthesyrup/
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letterstomilen · 3 years
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i discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)
Childe/Zhongli, Alternate Universe (read part 2 here) When Childe's younger sister tells him about the volunteer at the library, he does not make the connection between that and his new favorite ASMR YouTuber, Rex Lapis.
Childe has a very effective method of getting through college. His little sister, who’s caught him making coffee at three in the morning on more than one occasion the past week alone, would beg to differ. 
“You’re the best older brother,” she starts off, and he’s sure she’s trying to convince herself more than him at this point, “but you need to fix your sleeping habits.” Then, because she’s his little sister, she’d flash him a smile and pat his shoulder reassuringly.
(The comment is not lost on him though. He understands his sleeping situation will eventually wear him down if it hadn’t already, but he believes if he’ll drink a coffee every morning and a Monster every night, he’ll get through three days. By the third day, he’ll hardly be coherent but that doesn’t matter because he’ll conk out for the next twelve hours and then repeat.)
“Don’t worry, Tonia,” he says, trying to sound as reassuring as possible as he contemplates whether it’s worth it or not to swallow a pill of 5-hour energy with his morning coffee. “Once break ends, I’ll get back to normal.”
“You said that six seasons ago.”
Childe frowns, trying to remember if his sleeping schedule was this dysfunctional last year. “Huh?”
“The Walking Dead seasons,” Tonia clarifies, as if she’s not twelve years old and the show is for grown adults. He thinks. He hasn’t checked Commonsensemedia ever since La Signora labeled him as a “helicopter parent” and his Netflix tab has been playing How to Get Away with Murder as background noise for the past few weeks.
Isn’t it a show about zombies though? Tonia’s sheepish smile tells it all, because it’s the same exact guilty look he had when he got caught red-handed as a kid.
(Once he remembers later, Childe promises himself, he’ll check out The Walking Dead.)
“Oh. Well. I have a lot of shows to catch up on, you know. Not to mention a ton of my professors gave me reading for over the break.”
A half lie. They did give him a lot of reading because each professor assumed that their classes were his only one, and with seven days left, he still has a textbook worth of reading to go through. But there are no shows that Childe would sacrifice his precious sleep for. As a matter of fact, he would love to sleep. He’s spent the majority of his classes back in high school sleeping and faking attention, saving his grade at the last minute — it was quite the extreme sport really, if he says so himself.
Whenever he tries to sleep recently, his thoughts run at several hundred miles per hour, and he spends several hours staring at the ceiling before succumbing to the computer at his desk and watching trashy movies. At this point, he must have gone through the entire romance comedy list on Netflix. (Not a proud point in his life but if anybody ever wanted him to give a list of best to worst romance comedy movies, he now has one.)
Tonia, on the other hand, isn’t incredibly convinced.
Admittedly, the excuse was lame. Also, he can’t easily lie to his little sister, who’s far shrewder than he takes her for at times.
“You never start your reading in advance. You like to speed read it right before your class or watch a five-minute video on the chapters while your teachers take attendance. But that’s… uh, ‘a bad work ethic.’” Tonia looks immensely proud of herself as she says this, finishing it off with, “Zhongli told me that.”
“Zhongli?” he repeats, trying to remember if that’s one of her classmates or some stranger that’s hoping to kidnap his sister.
“The guy that volunteers at the library sometimes. He recommended me a loot of good books to read, but he talks like an old man.”
“How old?” Childe can tell she’s enjoying this — talking about her new friend at the library that he’ll probably have to run a background check on.
“Like he’s in his sixties or something. But he looks… actually, he looks your age! And he’s a student too. I told him all about you.”
Well, that doesn’t sound very reassuring coming from the mouth of a twelve-year-old. He’s not sure if that translates to his social security number, his current dilemma, or just that he’s her older brother.
“Like all of the stories you told me when I was a kid. And then when Lumine came to pick me up, she stayed to show him pictures of you too.”
“Of course she did,” he mumbles, ruffling her hair. One of these days he’s going to move without telling his classmates and the twins won’t enter his apartment unannounced. (But Tonia adores their company and the stories they tell her far too much for him to actually do it. But that doesn’t mean he’s above making threats when they tell his little sister about the bet he made about white-out and how it could dye hair. The jury is still out on this one.) “She’s just mad because I get away with it and she doesn’t. But don’t do it yourself. It’s a bad habit,” he adds, remembering that he should at least try to be a good influence on his younger sister when he can.
“Okaaay,” she says unconvincingly, before shaking her hair and running off to her room with lunch he prepared for her.
Watching her close the door and no doubt continue her binge of The Walking Dead, he takes out his phone and texts Lumine.
 Childe
12:35
ur a horrible influence on tonia
 Childe
12:35
and whos this ZHONGLI
 Childe
12:35
also is twd appropriate for 12 y/os
 Twin 1
12:37
a normal person would say hi
 Twin 1
12:37
also 1. me n aether watched it when we were 12 so probably and 2. some guy at the library that also goes to our school
 Well. At least he’s somebody they know. But The Walking Dead?
 Childe
12:38
thats not very convincing
 Childe
12:38
also dont ppl DIE? get BITTEN???? what if she gets nightmares
 Twin 1
12:39
isnt she 12 r u telling me u weren’t watching R rated movies at 12
 Childe
12:42
thats very different from a 10 season long show that is hailed as “one of the greatest horror shows in history” and “paved the way for post-apocalyptic horror”
 Twin 1
12:42
well if she has trouble sleeping she could always watch asmr. that helps me during midterms idk
 Childe
12:42
whats asmr
 Childe
12:43
asking for my sister btw
 Twin 1
12:44
A feeling of well-being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp and down the back of the neck, as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound.
 Childe
12:45
wtf?
 Twin 1
12:45
people on the internet make random sounds or just talk into a mic n its supposed to be very relaxing. how have u never found out abt this?????
 Childe
12:45
idk the only thing on my youtube recommended r greatest stunts and chapter review videos
 Twin 1
12:47
… makes sense
 Twin 1
12:47
check out rex lapis’ channel he looks like ur type
 Childe
12:48
i thought we were talking about my sister????
 Twin 1
12:50
[message screenshots.jpg]
 Twin 1
12:50
ya she told me everything
 Twin 1
12:50
have fun i need to convince aether to not commit arson bc of his TA
 Childe
12:51
hope he does it
He opens his Youtube app, typing in Rex Lapis and expecting Lumine’s suggestion to be a joke. Despite them being friends for nearly two years now, she’s never made any indication of knowing his type. And he’s sure he’s never been that vocal about it either, only shooting appreciative looks at history majors and paying more attention than necessary to the TA for ‘Tradition of Justice and Law.’ (It’s unfortunate that those short-term crushes never led to anything, but maybe that’s for the better seeing that Childe has never understood the appeal of relationships.)
It is an ASMR channel, judging by the ASMR playlist he finds as he scrolls through the account. The icon shows no face — only a microphone — which leaves him skeptical. Most of the video titles belong in a petrology lecture as well, which makes him even more convinced that it’s a joke. He finds a few readings of ancient literature and decides to pick ‘I discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)’ because that’s exactly what he needs. (Not the very moment — but ten hours later when he’s in the bed memorizing the pattern of his ceiling wondering why he stole from his fifth grade teacher’s candy jar during lunch.)
When Childe opens the video, he damn near gasps.
The man in the video is exactly his type. His eyes are a soft amber color, framed with long lashes, and it’s almost enough for him to lose his dignity and message Lumine a long thank you text about how she is always right and he’ll pay for her coffee for the following week.  He smiles at the screen, albeit a little sheepishly, dark hair framing his face with a long ponytail that Childe can’t see the end of. On his right ear, there are a pair of earrings with a single feather that brush against his neck when he moves his head.
Even before he speaks, Childe is mesmerized, sure he’ll already memorize his features from the curve of his nose to the way he tilts his head, displaying the expanse of his neck.
Really — he reminds him of actors in historical dramas, the way he sits regally, and how he speaks. His voice is low and slow as he adopts a careful manner of speaking, leaning into the mic.
“I’m Rex Lapis, and I’ll be discussing igneous petrology today, which is part one in a three-part petrology series. I apologize in advance, seeing that my knowledge is limited compared to many petrologists out there but my friend Venti said that many of my viewers are here for my voice, so I’m very excited to start today’s video.”
Holy shit.
For the following week, Childe learns less about petrology, the philosophy of economics, and historical revisionism concerning matters of war and more about Rex Lapis, who is not in love with his voice but often finds himself in the middle of long tangents without explanations. His favorite book series is the Legend of the Lone Sword, which he says he’ll look forward to reading out loud for the channel. (Childe replays that part of the video again and again, captivated by his excitement as he mindlessly taps the mic while he speaks, his tangent cutting off mid-word — as it usually does, much to his dismay.)
His guilty obsession is not lost on Tonia, who realizes that instead of drinking Monster every night he’s been engrossed in his phone completely, often not noticing her or when the water starts bubbling. But because his sleeping schedule has been alleviated, she says nothing until Lumine comes over as she always does, not forgetting their weekly schedule of watching trashy movies while leeching off of Childe’s food.
Because he doesn’t trust the twins with the kitchen — even if they can cook — she instead spends her time sitting next to Tonia and spreading more of her anti-Childe propaganda while they wait. This usually involves Tonia occasionally calling out Childe’s name and asking, “Is that true?” or “Did you really do that?”
This time is different though.
Worried that Lumine finally decided to show Tonia a video of last semester’s presentation, he leans over, looking at the computer screen.
And he’s wrong. Unfortunately. Maybe it should’ve been his presentation because even if he botched it and accidentally projected his work process — screaming notes and all — to the class instead of his actual presentation, it would’ve been better than the two of them watching one of Rex Lapis’ videos together.
The ‘I read Erosion: Essays of Undoing to you as it rains outside’ video, to be specific, which is where Rex Lapis is embarrassed by Venti mid video when asked if this was his idea of a date with a lover. (And then it ends with Rex Lapis asking for video suggestions from the commentors, his face still flushed from the previous comments.)
Oh God — oh fuck.
“So he is your type,” Lumine says, her expression a bit too smug for his liking. Tonia looks half awake, scrolling through articles as the video plays, more interested in ‘Top 10 Glenn Rhee Moments’ than Childe’s crush. Her expression is a bit guilty as she does so — she’s biting her lip and avoiding his gaze, but he assumes that it’s just because they went through his YouTube history.
“I can neither confirm nor deny that statement,” he retorts, but the YouTube history she pulls up once Tonia hands the computer over to her says it all. (It’s quite mortifying, really — even Tonia is giving him a look, but it’s not as bad as Lumine’s shit eating grin.)
“Well… he does have a nice voice,” Childe finally says, thinking that perfectly encompasses his most recent obsession. Because he does have a nice voice — it’s soothing and speaks to him without really speaking to him directly. (The good looks are a bonus, he assures himself. A fantastic bonus, but a bonus nonetheless.)
“He does,” Tonia confirms, smiling toothily up at him, and he resists the urge to ruffle her hair with Lumine staring at him so skeptically. “But I don’t understand much of what he’s saying. He — heh — talks like an old man.”
“Don’t worry, Tonia, your brother likes him because he’s attractive,” Lumine informs her, now fast forwarding on one of Rex Lapis’ videos. “Did you know that he lives nearby?”
“Huh?”
The knife he’s holding clatters to the floor, and the two look down and back up at him with— hold on, why does it feel like they’re in on a secret he doesn’t know about?
“Yeah, he’s working on his grad thesis I think… Aether told me it was about something on history,” she muses. “That’s why I recommended his channel to you. He’s a bit of a celebrity in his department.” Childe’s sure his jaw dropped now, trying to maintain his facial expression as he takes out a new knife to chop up the onions.
“Really,” he tries to say as calmly as possible, wondering how he should accompany Aether to his lectures without trying to seem as obvious as possible. His voice is a bit shaky he realizes but he can’t quite make the connection between Rex Lapis and actual graduate student that goes to his university.
“Yeah, actually…” Lumine is definitely pretending to think now, enjoying this far too much. “He—”
“It’s Zhongli!” his little sister yells excitedly, practically jumping up and down at this point as if she won the lottery. “Zhongli runs an ASMR channel and he talks just like that in real life! Right, Lumine?”
“Yeah.”
Childe sighs, holding a hand up to his face. The realization that he’s been obsessed with the same guy that hears about every stupid thing he did secondhand is way too much — and the fact that he’s been listening to his voice every night before he went to bed the past week is way too much. He’s sure his face is redder than before judging by the amused expressions on Lumine’s and Tonia’s faces — really, they’re mirror images of each other right now.
Not for the first time, Childe swears to himself that he’ll never let her into his apartment without signing a contract ever again.
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frillshark-fr · 3 years
Note
How do you get people to always buy your dragons? Genuine question
i was gonna say something like “haha i have no fucking clue” but that would be a lie i think about this a lot actually so i might have some insights i’ve been breeding dragons as my primary activity on FR since i started playing FR (in 2014...) and people have only started actually buying dragons from me consistently like, 5-6 months ago, despite 2-3 attempts at running a genuine hatchery onsite that always died due to lack of interest & not really being worth the effort. 
so ive thought a lot about what the hell is happening now and why my dragons are suddenly consistently selling and I think ive come down to these being the main points of advice i can give: 1. make friends! be friendly! don’t be weird! be a cool and fun person to interact with! 2. post consistently. post your dragons consistently. post about other stuff consistently. just be an active member of the community 3. POST YOUR SHIT IN THE “#FLIGHT RISING” TAG. THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY TRUELY HELPFUL THING I SAY IN THIS POST 4. make pairs that are sexy as hell and be openly proud of them. make dragons and pairs that you like, not what you think will necessarily sell. people can tell when you like stuff and being genuinely passionate about something, whatever the fuck it is, will get other people passionate as well longer versions/explanations under the cut because man this got a mile long. i wasn’t kidding when i said i think about this a lot and i am so sorry if you wanted something concise and useful
1. to be a little glib. i am mutuals/friends with more clout in the FR community than I do kjdshfdsfdhjhkfdf shoutout to everyone who draws their dragons really good on a regular basis because i am riding on your coattails to sell my dragons. i love you this was never my intent, obviously! DO NOT BEFRIEND PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU WILL GET STUFF FROM THEM IT’S JUST A REALLY BAD THING TO DO TO PEOPLE!!! i wouldn’t be friends w/ people if i didn’t genuinely like and get along with them! no amount of pixel cash is worth putting up with people you dont like or abusing people you admire!  but i’d also somehow feel wrong to just... neglect mentioning this factor. idk it’s probably a self-esteem thing sjdkgfhdsf i just Don’t feel like my #success has been totally out of my own effort because its not like im #hustling or whatever i just posted dragons and stuff happened
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2. being consistent! just. posting consistently! posting Every Hatchling I Have and Talking About Them On Tumblr!  Once I had a couple nests just sell super fast likely due to aforementioned clout, i was emboldened to just post more of my nests more often and I swear this has more effect than anything else. i just needed the self-esteem boost to Start Doing That posting consistently makes ppl follow u for ur content which gets even more people to look at your dragons which gets more people to buy your dragons.
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2a. Also just post a lot in general, even if you aren’t necessarily posting about your dragons for sale. it definitely helps! just be friendly and active and people will come
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3. post your shit in the tag. not in “#dragon-sales” or “#fr-dragon-sales” or anything weird like that because I don’t know if anyone actually looks at those, but people definitely browse “#flight rising”. no matter how many followers you have, more people will see your content if you post it in #flight rising than if you just chuck it into the void. 
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3a. however! do not put links into the post if you want it to actually show up in the tag. tumblr is cool in that it doesn’t actually matter that much when you post something, the same way it really matters on twitter bc twitter has algorithms that decide for you what it thinks you want to be seeing whereas tumblr just shows you everything in chronological order. if you post something into the tag at 1am... it will still be there at 2pm when people log on and start scrolling.
the only thing tumblr seems to consistently hide from a tag (and possibly a dashboard, but idk) are posts with links in them, as a half-assed attempt to limit spam. instead of linking to your sales tab/to the dragons directly in the post, reblog it with the links instead. to reduce latency between a post going up and the links being available, i type out the links in the initial post, cut them, post the thing into the tag, then very quickly reblog, paste the links, and post the reblog jdhfsdf. i don’t know if that benefits anything really? but it can sometimes take me a while to type links, so if i posted, pressed reblog, typed up all the links, then posted, it’d be like ~15 minutes where someone may see the post, think “oh i would like to buy those dragons”, then can’t find the link, think “oh well, i will just find it later”, scroll on, and just... completely forget about it. so uh. go quick?
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3b. the armchair sociologist in me also thinks self-reblogging has the added benefit of like... you know how people are more likely to tip a barista when a dollar is already in the tip jar? or how people are more likely to take one of those little tabs on a flyer if one of them is already missing? i think that works with notes, too. i don’t know why i think that or why it happens i just swear once a post gets 1 note, suddenly it gets Even More Notes, and if it doesn’t get any notes for a while it will sit at 0 notes until the end of time. so giving yourself 1 obligatory note makes people more likely to interact. i think
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4. all of these are hard to quantify but this one is especially so: have cool and unique dragons. make your pairs sexy as hell. don’t put all your eggs (hah) into the one basket of selling dragons that are technically “popular”. we have all seen triple white/triple obsidian/triple orca/triple any other popular colors and cherub/pere/stained or wasp/bee/glim pthahlos or whatever. they’re pretty! we get it! but everyone has had one and everyone has had those pairs and market for dragons like that can be super oversaturated. try to break free from that and sell dragons that people can only get from you. I can’t tell you what to do though bc that rly depends on you. make pairs that you find exciting or interesting and people will feel that. i have a very specific theme and aesthetic that i don’t feel like is especially common on FR and i am genuinely very enthusiastic about it. marine shit is my Thing:tm: both on and off FR and dragons are one of my many ways of expressing that   if you have a Thing:tm:, either some fr-centric aesthetic (like being super into plague or earth or light or something) or something more general (such as any of the -punks or -cores)... just fuckin roll with it honestly. if you’re goth? make got h dragons. like scene stuff that looks straight out of a middle school in 2010? rock that hot-topic lair. outdoorsey type? make dragons that look like you’d meet them on a hike in the woods. it really works with anything!  people can tell when you really love something and i know that seeing someone really love something, even if it’s not necessarily MY thing, makes me really excited too!! 
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4a. never show fear. people can smell fear. never be like “well this one isn’t that good” because suddenly now you’ve planted the idea that it’s ugly in other people’s heads when they may have really liked it had you not accidentally suggested to them that it’s an ugly dragon. people are EXTREMELY suggestible to even VERY minor cues so be always a little bit bolder than you think you should be you’d be surprised at how many times ive been like “eh, this one’s kind of a dud, i’ll probably have to exalt this one when the auction expires” and then that hatchling is the first to sell. never ever ever ever decide what other people like for them. always act like your dragons are the hottest shit in all the land and Believe It. this is what people mean when they say “fake it till you make it”
- 4b. also, idk if it’s true of everyone but it’s really off-putting to see someone having serious pity-parties for themselves, on sales posts or otherwise. ive had bad experiences with people who are uncomfortably quick to self-depreciate (because they were using their genuine self-hatred to manipulate me or my friends), so i might be a little more trigger-happy about avoiding this behavior than others, but don’t weaponize your sadness to guilt people into doing what you want. it’s really not cool.
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okay i think that’s my entire manifesto on how i do dragon selling. anon i am so sorry im sure you were expecting like “believe in yourself :)” and here i am dissecting dragon selling like it’s a frog in a science class
edit: AFTER ALL THAT I STILL THOUGHT OF ONE MORE THING. It’s not really a Point, just a Reminder:
i don’t post about all the times i have to exalt dragons that don’t sell. you are seeing me being very selective about what i post. you dont sit and stare at my lair or click through offspring lists or check old sales posts. there are a lot of times where someone just doesn’t sell. even now when i’m selling stuff pretty consistently i will still sometimes have dragons that don’t sell for seemingly no reason. even dragons I think are sure to sell will sometimes just... not. and that’s ok! you gotta just be.. ok with that. it’s par for the course. i typically list dragons for 7 days on the AH, give them a couple more days after their auction expires (partially because i forget, partially to give them a grace period for people to pm/ask me about them), and then exalt them after that point. w/ some dragons that i don’t think got a fair shake for one reason or another (such as the sales post not showing up in the tag or something) i do a little clearance (like the halloween dragons i recently posted) but for the most part if they don’t sell, i just exalt them. 90% of the time i don’t even bother to level them up i just press the exalt button and call it a day. it’s fine
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locktobre · 3 years
Note
How would you change DA? I feel like I saw a post of yours mentioning that you wanted to change it but I can’t find any actual post saying how you’d change it lol but I’m on tumblr mobile and I know this app glitches more often than not
I actually made a post saying I’d make a post and then completely forgot about it lol that happens to me a lot... But! Since you asked, I’ll go ahead and talk about it now.
My biggest issue with DA is the constant shenanigans making everything feel shallow. It’s just far too silly for me, and while I know I’m far outside of the target audience, I still think it’s very poor writing.
So, here’s what I would do, if I kept the main characters the same (that is, the Roberts family, Ken, Teresa, Nikki, Renee, and Daisy), as well as the basic premise of “This is Barbie’s life.” I’m not going to talk about how I would change individual episodes, since I’m basically starting over from scratch, here.
Starting at home:
I’d keep Margaret as an engineer, bc I really do like that for her.
I’d drop George as a “documentary filmmaker” and have him be a stay-at-home dad. I might bring back a detail from the early vlogs and have him be a writer, maybe working from home, but yeah, he’s the one taking care of the pets and packing lunches and keeping the house clean.
They’ve got Blissa leash-trained and she goes on walks with the puppies.
(If any of the puppies/Blissa escaped the house, it would be played for drama, not shenanigans.)
I might give them a catio for Blissa, since they started off series after remodeling their house, and they went all out on literally everything else, so why not?
If I was going to really have my way, they would only have done modest remodeling, not gone full-on ugly modern smart house.
Regardless, Skipper and Stacie must have their own bedrooms.
Barbie is a junior coach for Stacie’s soccer team. She’s going to spend time with all of her sisters, dammit!
She does something with Chelsea. Chelsea has a lot of interests, so she could do a lot of things with her. Maybe they do different things? Like, their thing could be trying new things or going new places.
The Roberts are close with Carsons, for obvious reasons.
As much as I like Trey, I feel like it’s OOC for the Roberts to have a feud with their neighbors (and I said as much when the show first started), so I might drop the Reardons entirely, tbh. And in my idealized version, the Roberts family aren’t such colossal dicks that they would have neighbors feuding with them, since they, like, respect ppl’s property and aren’t always doing wacky shit for lulz.
Then again, I really like Trey, so maybe they’d stay neighbors, and maybe he’s annoying but not a total jerk. (There’s a difference!) Like they could still ride together at the barn and ice skate together even if Trey insists that doing all of that doesn’t make them friends. (Yes, it does, Trey. Just open your heart to FRIENDSHIP.)
At school:
Barbie is in a bunch of extracurriculars, which provides a lot of interesting avenues for plots and friendship developments/dynamics.
She’s in an environmental club with Ken. They do beach clean-ups and collect trash in the parks and stuff like that. Also provides an opportunity for karbie moments.
She’s in a chemistry club with Teresa. They can do (safe) experiments and explain how it’s done, there can be some minor mishaps with things going wrong, stuff like that.
She’s in a fashion club with Nikki. They can make clothes together, do fashion shows, all that kind of stuff. But like, plot-relevant.
She plays basketball with Renee. They can show practices, games, how to deal with losing, all that kind of stuff.
She’s in a band with Daisy and Skipper. This keeps both of them musical, and keeps me from feeling like Daisy is taking Skipper’s musical spotlight. They could do gigs occasionally (school dances, parks, coffee shops), they could have an episode with creative infighting, they could focus on Skipper feeling like she’s being treated like a little kid when she’s trying to be Mature... A lot of things open up. Not to mention, having a good reason for them to sing.
So basically, Barbie’s busy 5 days a week, and has a lot of varied interests, so it makes sense for a lot of ppl to know her and even envy her, bc really, how does she do it all?
I’m not sure if I’d keep Tammy either, tbh. I’m not fond of bully characters, I think it’s detrimental to show bullying as no big deal... but also, kids need to learn about conflict resolution. Even so, sometimes there aren’t good ways to deal with bullies, so it’s really a double-edged sword.
If I kept Tammy--or Trey, for that matter--at least now, with the above, they’d have a real reason to be jealous of her being popular and well-liked, outside of her vlog. Bc she’d be an interesting and well-rounded person, instead of boring and fake.
I’d really tone down the social media angle, but there’d be an obligatory episode about like, an embarrassing picture/video being posted and how to deal with it. It’s inevitable nowadays, as much as that pains me.
An early episode would focus on a parents night at school, and we’d meet everyone’s parents.
Barbie and her friend group would have a homework club that rotates its meetings through their different houses, which is a perfect set-up to meeting any siblings the others have (since we already met their parents).
There would be occasional episodes where Barbie is either not there, or only there for like one scene (she’s sick, out of town, whatever), and we’d get to focus on one of her friends, instead. They’d get to feel like real people even when she’s not there, rather than feeling like they don’t exist when they’re not onscreen with her lol.
Overall, I just want it to feel like Barbie’s life is real and complete, and so is every character in it. Obviously, it’s fictional, and I’m not asking for anything super dramatic to happen, I just want it to feel like they care. I know Barbie is the star of the show, but I don’t want it to feel like everything revolves around her, bc they certainly promote it like it’s an ensemble show. But they don’t act like it at all and I just want to fix that. So I tried to think of a lot of ways to give different, varied plots. There are ways to do interesting things without it being super silly!
Anyway, if they want Barbie to feel grounded and real and like she gives good advice, they should write her that way, that’s all I’m saying.
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tellywoodtrash · 3 years
Text
immj2 30+31.12.20 lbs
30.12.20
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lmao ep starts off itself with vansh and kabir ka staring match.
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vansh steady in first place, not having blinked for................ like 3 minutes now? this dude a fucking freak.
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while riddhima gazes adoringly at him thinking bhagwaan ne mujhe itnaaaaaaaaaa achcha pati diya hai. pft. idk what the hell sins you did in your last life riddhima, to get a husband like this one in this life, but it had to be something reallllllllllll bad. like stealing from little orphans and kicking puppies or some shit.
thankfully dadi is here to put an end to this chutiyaapa.
countdown blah blah, no1 currrrrrrrrr.
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itna pheeeeeeeeeenka happy new year. bhai-behen ho kya???
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now we talking.
he just says some trite shit like new kahaani that will be remembered for ages blah blah and gives creepy looks. dude why can’t you be normal on oneeeee bloody day?
ahaana also giving random creepy looks seeing vansh/riddhima hugging. and she goes and............
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i think i watch this show and rrahul a little too closely ki i instantly knew this isn’t his hand and thus it’s not vansh’s hand she’s holding.
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yupppppppppp. bola tha na.
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damn they make a hotass couple of shady bitches.
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ok wow i’m really feeling it. wish kabir wasn’t a sociopath who is incapable of feeling attachment (“love” is too strong a word) for anyone but his mother.
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lmao his reaction when ahaana tells him ki riddhima didn’t believe any of the pattiii she padaofied her about vansh.
ok but how do these two know each other??? matlab yeh le aaya hai issko? i thought vansh le aaya hoga?!!?
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mereko kya kaunsa manhoos le aaya? i’m just here for the attractive ppl pressing their bodies up against each other. keep on keeping on, #KaHana
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he’s warning her against ever double-crossing him and dude the angry/hate-sex vibes here are *~~~ExQuISiTe*~~~~
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the way she’s confidently gazing at him all sexy tells me she’s a much more seasoned player than riddhima and i already love her more than the damn lead of the show.
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damn. that’s a gnarly period you got riddhima. that’s an unusual amount of flow. go see a doctor about it, sis.
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i’ve heard about ppl making art with menstrual blood and all, but this is fucking ridiculous.
anyway of course the dumbass goes investigating it. and got fucking attacked in the storeroom and SOMEONE HUNG HER UP. LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS MESSED UP HOUSE DUDE????/ WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU STILLL LIVE HERE????
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Chehra Appreciation Break
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asadkjasldjlaskdjlsakjdlas the way he’s yelling for everyone and interrogating them of their whereabouts coz riddhima’s missing.
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lmao ishani and ahaana’s reactions at this temper tantrum are fucking amazing.
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dang what’s with the suuuuuper orange lower half of his face???? ugh. the foundation woes are back now that the beard’s growing back in.
anyway he went barrelling off to find her after some more chabaaya hua dhamkis at his fam. ahaana already regretting moving into this pagaal khaana.
this scene is so fucking disturbing to watch that i don’t even wanna fucking cap it. but she was legit getting HANGED and he managed to get there in the nick of time and save her.
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how, you ask? BY SHOOTING AT THE ROPE, INSTEAD OF JUST.......... DOING SOMETHING NORMAL LIKE RUNNING AND PUTTING THE STOOL BACK UNDER HER FEET TO STABILIZE HER. THIS SHOW IS JUST FUCKING BATSHIT INSANE, MY LORD.
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this poor girl, my god. i don’t think i’ve ever watched a tellywood FL be tortured to the extent that this one is on a daily basis. it’s fucking ridiculous. there’s no redemption for any of the raisinghanias at this point. she just needs to fucking leave (and file several domestic violence cases against each and every one of them, except dadi.)
anyway she tells him whatever went down today, starting from the period blood fiasco onwards and he’s........ vibrating in anger. cool i guess.
some promises and shit about how who ever did this will pay, time for “humaara khel” and .......... dude. you say this shit every single time. and nothing changes. i don’t give a fuck anymore about your stupid promises. move the fuck outta this hellhole with your wife if you really mean it.
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seedha jaake ahaana ke sar pe bandook taan di. based on what evidence? only the Good Lord above knows, coz vansh and the writers sure don’t.
no literally based on what is he accusing her and pulling the trigger??????? idgi??????
almost shot her and is saying “riddhima pe kharonchh nahi aani chahiye, baat ishq aur vishwaas ki hai” and ahaana is giggling and literally what the fuck is going on i’m so confused.
ahaana saying wowwwww, you want revenge also, and she shouldn’t get hurt also.
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MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE’S THE ONE WHO BROUGHT AHAANA IN!!!!!!!!!!!!
literally what the fuck is this dude on???? badla chahiye, par dard nahi hona chahiye. bhai, kya phoonk ke aaye ho, humein bhi toh thoda de do.
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ok this is tooooo fucking convoluted a game. riddhima thinks kabir is the one attacking her. but it’s kabir + ahaana. kabir thinks ahaana is on his side and brought her into VR mansion, but ahaana is double agent who was actually planted in kabir’s nazar by vansh to fuck over BOTH kabir and riddhima. i think?????????
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ahaana be like re devaaaaaa, what fucking madness have i gotten myself into????????????? the things i have to do for health insurance coverage during a pandemic.
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31.12.20
first 5 minutes is some new year ka naach gaana bs. fwding.
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ok this fucker is a legit motherflipping crazy. he just wants to keep torturing riddhima for god knows how long.
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even ahaana is alarmed.
did he do absolutely noooooo research after the cliff chhalaang? like....... this revenge shit is so dumb at this point, when he knows she brought in vihaan to stop kabir from ruining the family, and took a second fucking bullet for him?!?!?!?!?!?! they shouldn’t have written the second gunshot plot point, coz now he looks like a reallllllllll unappreciative fucker for whom literally no good deed is enough.
WHAT PYAAR AND VISHWAAS, FUCKER???????? LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?????? YOU’VE PLAYED THESE GAMES WITH HER FROM THE VERY START OF YOUR MARRIAGE AND MAYBE TOOK A BREAK FOR A WEEK OR TWO IN BETWEEN - WHEN SHE GOT SHOT THE FIRST TIME AND DURING ISHANI’S WEDDING. THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT??????/ LIKE.......... THIS MAKES NO BLOODY SENSE. THIS CHARACTER IS JUST SUCH A SUPREME DOUCHEBAG, MY GOD. THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NO REDEEMING HIM WHATSOEVER.
also can’t say rrahul’s extra chabaaaaa chabaaaaaaa ke bolna is making this enjoyable to watch at all.
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all i wanna know is what ahaana has on him that he’s indebted to her and thought her worthy enough to join forces with. SPILL SPILL SPILL SPILL!!!!!!!!!!!! what does ahaana get outta all this?!!?!?!!!!!!
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riddhima on the other hand running around wondering whom vansh is gonna murder. SIS YOU JUST GOT STRANGULATED CAN YOU SIT DOWN FOR A HOT SEC AND REST?!?!!?!?
ahaana is like bro you gonna ruin riddhima’s life, and he’s like yeah, that’s what i want. jesus christ, dude. just divorce her then. why prolong this shit out like this????? truly psychopathic.
riddhima hears his voice and heads to the pool area..........
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............. isn’t that his shoulder there behind the tree? is she fucking blind???????? HOW CAN SHE NOT SEE HIS 7 FOOT TALL HULKING ASS BEHIND THAT PATLA SA JHAADI?????? HE’S LITERALLY THERE LIKE........
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........... she left. god. she’s really really REALLY stupid. like pretty sure these crimes against her count as extraaaaaaaaa bad....... like, pick on someone with your own brain capacity, vansh? leave the simple minded sis alone!
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the only gift that’s acceptable from you rn sir, is divorce papers. and a self-filed restraining order promising to stay 3 whole districts away.
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yikes, that beard is notttttt growing in well.
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“tum mujhe apne saare stress de do.” BITCH YOU’RE HER BIGGEST STRESS. ASSHOLE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH.
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“tumse door jaake jaaonga kahaan? abhi toh bohut kuch baaki hai.” fucking dieeee, you psychopath.
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lmaoooooooooooooooo her face when she doesn’t understand wtf this gift is supposed to be. i’ve been there sis. trying to fake enthusiasm for some reallllll bad gifts from men is truly painful.
also she’s so dang cute when they let her use her face properly!!!!!! har waqt bechaari ko bass rulaate rehte hain iss show mein.
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one ainvayiiii gift ke bahaane some random cuteness.
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sis gazing at him some more thinking omg he loves me soooooooo much.
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she remembered ahaana’s warning, and is like no she was lying to me!!!!!!!!! stupid stupid stupiddddddd. no matter whoever planted her, you should believe that sister over your haraami misters. motive jo bhi ho, bol toh behen sach hi rahi thi.
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yuck that looks ugly af. why the hell would you want that on your bedroom wall? esp. when your bedroom is already so goddamn fugly.
anyway he’s gaslighting her some more about ahaana blah blah.
riddhima like i’ll prove it. le, iska jee nahi bharaa. she wants to do more jasoosi and go get stuck in random traps that try to kill her.
vansh promising he’ll throw ahaana and her partners out if she can prove it. meaning you’ll........... throw yourself out?????
whatever man, idk and idc anymore what this fucker does. i’m just here for the faces.
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threatening notes planted in all these ppl’s rooms. everyone instantly like OMG VANSHHHHHHHHHHH DID THISSSSS. lol coz who else does this chutiyaapa of leaving random messages around like this.
but nope. chachi saw riddhima’s earring lying there and knows it’s her.
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isko bhi mila.
lmao kabir rueing the day he set eyes on riddhima coz jeena haraam kar rakha hai ladki ne.
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riddhima like mwahahahahhaha they must have got my notes and now they’ll come attack me! behen, woh toh note ke bina bhi roz karte aaye hain...............
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there. promptly got jumped.
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surprise, surprise.
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lol attitude toh dekho behen ka. wish she was the lead of the show instead of riddhima.
19 notes · View notes
akechicrimes · 4 years
Note
Prompt 37? Futaba and Akechi platonic/Futago siblings?
37. “Follow me. It’s okay, just hold my hand.”
after akira leaves tokyo, futaba does just fine without her key item, except for when she doesnt.
(one of them AUs were goro survives the engine room and rejoins the phantom thieves. no i will not explain. persona 5 canon AND persona 5 royal do not interact. for reference in this universe futaba and akechi are half siblings but only akechi knows that)
*
“Next time you see me, I’ll be a whole new person,” Futaba tells Akira excitedly on his second-to-last day in Tokyo. “I’m going back to school, I’m out and about by myself—oh! Oh! Did I tell you I said yes to Kosei? I told Kosei I wanted to go to Shujin and they offered me scholarship! And I went to the subway station by myself yesterday!”
They’re crammed into Akira’s Leblanc attic, sitting around a cake that literally none of them were capable of baking themselves, so they’d bought the thing from a bakery and decorated it with little black and red hearts. Ryuji is passing around his gross soda, while Ann is recounting some story that doesn’t matter with incredible enthusiasm. Makoto looks like she’s determined to enjoy herself and will hear no argument.
The whole thing is incredibly morbid, if you ask Futaba. It feels less like they’re waiting for Akira to leave Tokyo and more like they’re attending Akira’s funeral. Akechi in particular looks like he’s regretting attending, which honestly tickles Futaba more than it should, that the most dishonest Phantom Thief seems to be the only one looking as honestly put-off by the entire affair as everyone else is determined not to be.
That’s everyone else’s problem. Futaba might not be happy Akira has to leave, but she’s proud. She’s sad that Akira has to leave, but also she promised Akira that by the time that he had to leave, she’d be able to get around on her own, without clinging to him for support. And she is able. She kept her promise.
Tomorrow might be the day that Akira has to go, but today is the day that Futaba is Officially Recovered.
Akira does that annoying thing he does where he puts his hand on her head and messes up all her hair, like he’s a human cat showing affection by pissing everyone off. Futaba yelps. “Look at you. You don’t need me at all.”
“I told you that I’d be ready to say goodbye by the time you had to go back to your hometown,” says Futaba. “I haven’t broken my promises yet, have I?”
There’s a burst of laughter from Haru over something Yusuke said, who looks rather surprised to discover that he said anything funny. Both Makoto and Akechi snicker at him, and then stop immediately to glare at each other the second they realize they’ve accidentally wound up sharing an opinion.
Akira ignores them. “Well, you can still text me if you need me. Or call.”
“I’m trying to tell you I’m getting better and I don’t need you,” Futaba grumbles. “Also, what kind of psychopath do you think I am to call someone on the phone?”
“That’s what phones are for.”
“Calling people is scary.”
“I thought you were getting better?” Akira teases.
“I am!” she says, pointing a finger at him. “I am! Just you watch, Akira. I’m getting better every day.”
*
Six months after joining Kosei, Futaba locks herself in her room and does not reemerge for seven days straight.
*
She tells Sojiro that she’s sick. Sojiro tells the school that Futaba told him that she’s sick. She definitely fakes a hell of a good cough, and the school lets Yusuke send her her all the homework that she was supposed to be doing in the first place, but Futaba already knows it’s only a matter of time before Sojiro rats on her, and she won’t even blame him because it’ll be for her own good.
In the meantime, she has stashes of crackers and peanut butter from back when she was a full-time hermit. She hates the taste of peanut butter within three days. Her bed is a relief, soft like a home she never left, up until it isn’t anymore. It’s too soft. No matter how she lies on it, no matter how soft it is, a mattress just isn’t comfortable when you’ve been lying on it for seventy-four hours. It’s hot. Smothering. She feels like she’s going to drown in the blankets and they’ll have to fish her moldy, sweaty corpse out of the bottomless quicksand pit of her too-soft mattress.
The thing about being a shut-in is that you don’t actually like your room very much. It’s not a relief, or an oasis, or even a place you enjoy. You’re just terrified of everywhere else more.
She plays a lot of video games that she doesn’t even like. She watches a lot of Twitch streamers she doesn’t even like. She doesn’t do her homework. She ignores Sojiro. She pretends she’s alright to everyone who texts. She wakes up and goes to sleep and thinks about going outside and goes to sleep and wakes up and wonders if the whole last year and her cautious baby steps back into the world outside was all just a hazy dream.
*
There aren’t a lot of Thieves left in Tokyo, weirdly. Haru and Makoto both graduated, off doing business and law junk that honestly makes Futaba’s brains want to crawl out her ears, but all the numbers check out and Haru’s not in the red yet, and Futaba’s looked at enough people’s dirty laundry to appreciate Haru’s clean ledger. Akira’s back in his dinky hicktown, where there’s barely anything electronic connected to Wifi worth breaking into for surveillance, which is really boring.
Ann’s been doing so many modeling gigs that she might as well not be attending Shujin anymore. She’s practically surrounded by electronics, and all of them are connected to the internet. On any given day, Futaba can snoop through the internet trail of electronic file cabinets full of images of her face, emails about her face, paychecks for her face. Futaba sends Ann more than one email about creepy old dudes making gross comments about her, along with a bunch of other illegal shit they’ve done, plus their offshore accounts full of cash if Ann wants Futaba to sic a lawyer on them.
Ann looks like she’s having fun. Ann looks different on the other side of the computer screen, like she’s less real. Like she’s not someone Futaba really knows. Like Ann’s not someone Futaba’s literally cried on at one point in her life.
Ryuji is definitely attending Shujin, but between physical therapy, catching up on a whole year of track, athletic scholarship hunting, and studying for college admissions tests, Ryuji seems to have been swallowed whole by Shujin, really. Out of boredom, one day, Futaba went down that rabbit hole of researching what it takes to get recruited for track in college, and holy shit–apparently Ryuji’s coach was supposed to be helping him with that whole process, but of course Ryuji barely has a proper coach ever since Kamoshida left Shujin’s track program in pieces. The amount of networking he’s doing is insane, especially for one teenaged boy who barely remembers his homework every night.
Sometimes, when Ryuji’s forgotten to check his email in a while and there’s a message from a coach sitting in his inbox, Futaba will send him a text to make him check it. And then it’s all, What were you doing looking at my emails, Futaba and Which of my other passwords do you know, Futaba, as if Ryuji doesn’t just use the same password over and over and has literally nobody but himself to blame.
So it’s really just Futaba, Yusuke, and–weirdly–Akechi, who’s off doing his gap year and said he was going to go abroad, but then he never did. Not to be a huge snoop, but Futaba went digging through his junk for about five seconds and then she never did it again, because she felt really weird about finding out that the guy that killed her mom is looking into social work, volunteerism, and reforming the justice system.
Like. The man who killed the Thieves’ leader is now literally out there saving orphans. It’s wild.
She might’ve been the one to tell Akechi that he can start over again and do better, but she reserves the right to at least feel weird about it.
She does not call Akira. She talks to Yusuke at school, but she refuses to ask him to accompany her on the subway. She should be recovered by now, shouldn’t she? She was supposed to have gotten over all that when Akira left Tokyo. She’s doing fine. She’s just looking out for her friends. Her, living vicariously through her friends, who’re growing up and growing away, flourishing into young adults? Never.
*
Everything is the same.
*
Didn’t she help kill a god last year?
Didn’t she work so hard to get out of her room, to make friends, to reconnect with Kana-chan?
Didn’t she work so hard to change herself?
Didn’t she help change the world?
*
Everything is the same.
*
Tuesday, 1:43 PM
YUSUKE: Futaba?
FUTABA: yo inari
FUTABA: u got more homework for me or what
YUSUKE: Ah, no.
YUSUKE: I think your teacher finds it suspicious that I’m sending you homework when I’m not in your grade, as it is.
FUTABA: oh no
FUTABA: what a shame that we didn’t have an entire year of experience with getting away with wildly illegal magic brain crimes without raising any suspicion
FUTABA: truly emailing me like four pieces of paper a day is far too difficult
YUSUKE: Well, I can’t get your homework from your teacher, but I can give you more homework if you’d like.
FUTABA: ok bucko that wasn’t a challenge
YUSUKE: There’s a math problem set that’s been incredibly dull to get through when I have more important pieces I could be working on…
FUTABA: inari im sorry to say but
FUTABA: me literally doing your homework for you is about a thousand times more illegal than you giving me my homework when ur not in my grade
YUSUKE: Oh, is it?
FUTABA: wh
FUTABA: are y
FUTABA: what do you mean OH IS IT
FUTABA: did you not KNOW ur not allowed to have other ppl do ur hw????
FUTABA: inari have u been making other people do ur hw for u so u can have more time to do art?????????
FUTABA: no shut up i dont want to know
FUTABA: i will not be ur accomplice
FUTABA: i see ur little speech bubble thingamajig yusuke i said stop typing forever and ever
YUSUKE: I can’t invite you to the art gallery tomorrow if I can’t type.
YUSUKE: It also seems impractical for you to outlaw me from texting forever.
FUTABA: i literally did not say that
YUSUKE: You said, and I quote,
YUSUKE: “Yusuke, I said stop typing forever and ever.”
FUTABA: ok i know it looks like i said that but please im begging u it’s literally just an exaggeration
YUSUKE: As Makoto would say, it’s hardly an enforceable law.
FUTABA: u literally texted my sick and crusty ass just to give me a hard time
YUSUKE: Are you about recovered from your cold?
FUTABA: and now u have the nerve to ask me to go to ur art show thing
YUSUKE: I didn’t say that.
FUTABA: oh really
FUTABA: what were u gonna ask me about then
YUSUKE: The art show, naturally.
YUSUKE: But you could have done me the courtesy of letting me ask.
FUTABA: all that on the day of my daughter’s wedding and now u want me to do u a solid
FUTABA: well i have news for u
FUTABA: the answer
FUTABA: is yeah
FUTABA: sure why not
YUSUKE: Oh, excellent.
YUSUKE: I thought that you might decline on account of your illness.
FUTABA: i’m not a punk bitch
FUTABA: i’m going
FUTABA: u were only working all those paintings for like two months i wanna see their oily faces in person
YUSUKE: Just because they were made with oil paints does not mean that they are oily.
FUTABA: cant wait to see my oily boys
YUSUKE: Unfortunately, I have to set up the event beforehand, so I will not be able to accompany you on the way here.
YUSUKE: Will you be alright by yourself?
FUTABA: uh
FUTABA: hmm
FUTABA: how oily are these boys in case i need to call a rain check
YUSUKE: Hmm.
YUSUKE: Perhaps someone else can go with you.
YUSUKE: Let me see if I can find someone.
FUTABA: what like one of ur art friends
FUTABA: i’m not going with anyone i dont know sry
YUSUKE: I’ll keep it in mind.
Tuesday, 1:59 PM
YUSUKE: Unfortunately, Ann and Ryuji were not available. Both of them will be coming late to the art show.
YUSUKE: Fortunately, Goro is.
FUTABA: whomst
YUSUKE: Goro Akechi?
YUSUKE: Crow, in case you know multiple Goro Akechis.
FUTABA: no like why u callin him goro
YUSUKE: I asked him if I could and he said yes.
YUSUKE: There’s not many people left in Tokyo who were part of the Thieves.
YUSUKE: I’m not exactly popular at school myself, so I thought it prudent to hold onto the connections I already had.
FUTABA: hhhhhhhhhhhhh
FUTABA: but why him……………………………………….
YUSUKE: Has he done something wrong?
YUSUKE: Well.
YUSUKE: Besides the obvious.
YUSUKE: Last I heard, you were quite vocally supportive of Goro making a change for the better,but have you prehaps reconsidered?
FUTABA: i mean he’s always been nice to me
FUTABA: like even before he was on the team as crow
FUTABA: and then later after he like lost his shit and tried to kill us
FUTABA: he was also like weirdly nice
FUTABA: even if he was dressed as a tokusatsu villain
FUTABA: but
FUTABA: i
FUTABA: ok this is gonna sound really weird but like
FUTABA: you know how i said that the person to take me to the art show has to be someone that i know
YUSUKE: Yes.
FUTABA: even though akechi was one of the thieves at the end
FUTABA: i feel like i dont really know him
FUTABA: he like had that whole breakdown where he spilled all his kylo ren sadstuck junk and then he peeled his dumb ass up off the floor and then we beat up his dad in a dark alley
FUTABA: and then i guess akira likes him a bunch and hangs out with him and i guess probably talked to him about all that stuff that happened
FUTABA: and also i think ann talks to him
FUTABA: and also haru i think for some reason……………………..
FUTABA: but like i feel like. we as a group. never really uhhhhhhh
FUTABA: got to know him very well i guess
FUTABA: because he spent like the whole year being a fake ass bitch
FUTABA: and then by the time he wasnt, the thieves were busy literally fighting god, and it was all business business business
FUTABA: ughghfhg i guess this is just a really long way of saying that like yeah ok i guess i do know him but i dont think i really do
FUTABA: even when he was off the shits in the engine room it was like
FUTABA: somehow that was not……………………………….. really him
FUTABA: idk maybe this is just my Thoughts but like
FUTABA: idk some people are like “your true self is who you are at your worst” and
FUTABA: yeah maybe you are some PART of urself when youre at your worst but like
FUTABA: also not???
FUTABA: that can’t be it
FUTABA: that’s not ALL of you
FUTABA: so all i ever saw was him when he was being a fake ass barbie prince and then when he was like actively losing his shit
FUTABA: and both of those were like. two types of fake ass barbie prince
FUTABA: except obviously the one where he started screamin about murder and trying to kill joker was like, fake ass serial killer barbie prince
FUTABA: anyway i dont buy it for a second that seeing akechi at his worst means that i know the first thing about his “”“”“”“”“true self”“”“”“”“”“”“
FUTABA: like i know that i technically met him but also at the same time i dont think ive ever really actually met this dude
FUTABA: uh tldr what’s the truth crowboy
FUTABA: second tldr do you got anyone else i can go to the art show with because im not unpackin all that junk in the trunk while also trying to fend off a panic attack in the subway
YUSUKE: Well, to speak to "what’s the truth, crowboy,” I’d say he’s actually really funny.
FUTABA: WHAT
YUSUKE: Yes, actually.
FUTABA: YOU TRYNA TELL ME YOU SHARE A SENSE OF HUMOR W AKECHI
YUSUKE: As everyone knows, I don’t have a sense of humor.
YUSUKE: But if I did, that might not be inaccurate to say.
YUSUKE: Either way, we could ask Boss if he’ll take you to school.
FUTABA: no
FUTABA: im not makin him shut down leblanc for the day just cause i cant get my shit together
FUTABA: and i go to school by myself all the time now i dont need to be walked there by my dad like a four yr old
FUTABA: r u sure u dont have anyone else who can take me
YUSUKE: You said it had to be someone you know.
YUSUKE: I can take you.
YUSUKE: But I’ll be getting to Kosei early to prepare.
FUTABA: how early is early
YUSUKE: Four in the morning.
FUTABA: PLEASE INARI
YUSUKE: The people you know is a quite limited pool, Futaba.
FUTABA: shut the hell ur face i dont need u tellin me to make kosei friends too
FUTABA: i get my butt to school every day i’m already a hero
FUTABA: ok alright
FUTABA: crow-san it is
FUTABA: hhh
FUTABA: no shut up stop typing i’m fine
FUTABA: i already saw his dumb ass get inflicted with Horny from Yaldy God Himself i ain’t afraid of no crows
FUTABA: actually now that i remember that that was pretty funny mwehehehehehehe
FUTABA: OKAY send me the who what when where why
YUSUKE: There’s a PDF flier. I’ll send it to you.
YUSUKE: But I will have to type the email to send it to you.
FUTABA: oh my GOD inari
FUTABA: i swear to god ur not actually this dense and youre just pretending u dont know what an exaggeration is just to drive me up the wall
YUSUKE: Oh, that is a possibility, isn’t it?
FUTABA: WH
YUSUKE: Ah, last period is starting. I’ll have to talk to you later.
FUTABA: WHAT
FUTABA: NO WAIT
FUTABA: HELLO????
FUTABA: YUSUKE NO COME BACK
Tuesday, 2:53 PM
FUTABA: YUSUKE HAVE YOU BEEN MAKING AKECHI DO UR HW FOR U SO YOU CAN DO MORE ART??
FUTABA: IS THAT WHY UR ON A FIRST NAME BASIS W HIM
FUTABA: ANSWER ME STRINGBEAN
*
In Futaba’s opinion, there’s an infinite amount of more embarrassing reasons to pull yourself out of your depression pit than “I needed to yell at my friend for being a snotty bastard,“ and there’s worse escorts to have than the weird guy who went from being a professional murderer to their weird awkward friend. Firstly, if there’s anything that can motivate Futaba Sakura, it’s the primal urge to dunk on her friends for spite and memes. Secondly, there’s no chance in hell Futaba’s going to have a breakdown in front of Akechi.
She can do this. She got herself out of this grave once; she can do it again. Even if Akira isn’t here. She’s getting better. She promised him.
On the eighth day of her almost-return to hermithood, Akechi texts her:
AKECHI: I’m here.
AKECHI: Are you ready to go?
Futaba is wearing only an old shirt, no bra, sweats, and vaguely greasy hair from all the showers she’s skipped.
FUTABA: i’m SO ready
FUTABA: the readiest
FUTABA: ultra mega super ready
FUTABA: featherman ranger code name Ready
AKECHI: Oh.
AKECHI: Alright.
Hell yes alright. Time for Futaba to save her own life from her gravesite of a room.
With… Goro Akechi. Wow, life is weird, huh?
She drags on her Kosei uniform like a skin discarded long ago. It feels stiff. Maybe because it feels wrong to wear school clothes like a functioning human; maybe because she just hasn’t washed it in a week. The very idea of explaining herself to Sojiro stresses her out, so she doesn’t do it. The idea of not explaining herself to Sojiro, when he deserves an explanation and also would probably have a heart attack if he realized that she’d disappeared from her room without his knowing, also stresses her out, so she still doesn’t explain herself to Sojiro.
I told Akira I’m better now. I can do this. I did this for more than six months. I was out of my room in the real world, I went to the school festival, I changed my own heart…
She creeps down the stairs like a thief in her own house and pokes her head out the door. Goro Akechi is fiddling with his phone in the sun outside her house, looking like he, too, has only just managed to pull on his Human Suit and look like a guy who didn’t make shadows beg for mercy for fun, so it looks like this whole expedition is going to be a lot of fun.
"Futaba-chan?” says Akechi, only just noticing her lurking in her own doorway. “It’s been a while since we last saw each other. How are you?”
Futaba opens her mouth. No noise comes out.
Akechi’s eyebrows slowly begin to knit together.
“I’m good,” she says squeakily. Clears her throat. Holy shit, she’s not afraid of Akechi after all that junk they went through in the Metaverse. She saw him as a rat. She saw him visibly want to break his father’s face when Shido tried to apologize to him on live TV. Once, Makoto and Akechi got into an unironic, passionate, hour-long argument about whether or not it’s beneficial to color code your notes.
“I’m alright!” Futaba announces louder, maybe a little loudly, considering the way he looks only more concerned. “L-Let’s hurry up and get this sidequest over with!”
She pulls her hoodie over her head and jams her hands into the pockets and makes herself as small as possible and inches out of the doorway. “If you… say so,” says Akechi, and eventually matches her incredibly slow pace as she shuffles her way towards the main street.
When the noise of Yongen-Jaya’s street hits her, her heart rate (already high as hell) spikes even higher like the first day she’d come out of her room, but the old coping mechanisms come back like second nature: Breathe slower, avoid eye contact, remember her mission, stick to the sides of the streets. Breathe slower. She’s still got it. It’s still hard, but she’s got a whole arsenal of ways to deal. She can do this. She will kick Yusuke’s ass for being a dick, if only out of sheer spite.
If Akira were here, I could hide behind him and…
No, shut up, shut up. All she has is her hoodie and Goro Akechi. Akira’s not here. She can do this by herself.
Akechi makes precisely two attempts at small talk (“How has Kosei been?” “Have you seen the pieces Yusuke submitted to the art show before?”) before he realizes that Futaba isn’t going to respond by virtue of barely holding onto her shit by her fingernails. He shuts up and sticks close by. Futaba makes her way down the streets towards the subway like walking on a tightrope. The subway station isn’t busy, but she puts every step in front of her like she’s going to fall. Getting on the subway might as well be a highwire. Futaba and Akechi wait for the train in mutual silence to the sound of other commuters murmuring amongst themselves, like a toothless echo of Mementos’s depths.
When they get on the train, people around her are quiet, thank god, but all of a sudden she’s convinced that she smells because she hasn’t taken a shower in literal days, and she tries to pack herself into her seat as tightly as possible. The guy in front of her is scrolling through something at a ferocious pace and his thumbnail keeps hitting the screen with this incessant clack, clack, clack noise. The subway voice announces their next station as the doors begin to close, and a girl suddenly sits bolt upright, having realized that this is her station after all, and bangs Futaba’s knees hard as she passes. Futaba wants to curl her legs to her chest, but she’s wearing Kosei’s uniform skirt and it’d just make everyone stare at her if she did that on the subway. She curls her fingers into the skirt hem. She stares down at her knees and lets her hair drape around her like a curtain. She can do this. She can do this. Breathe slower. Even slower. I did this for more than six months, I told Akira I’m better now, I changed my own heart…
Akechi pulls out his phone. Futaba’s phone buzzes.
AKECHI: Are you alright?
FUTABA: i said i was ready dude
Akechi types and retypes an answer, which technically Futaba could just look over his arm and read, but instead Futaba flips through apps on her phone and pulls up a shitty mobile dungeon crawler. She dies four times before Akechi puts his phone away without sending anything.
They pass multiple stations like that. Futaba sure as hell hopes that Akechi’s watching which station they’re on, because she isn’t. After the millionth time she dies, Futaba just closes the app altogether. Concentration’s shot. Can’t focus on anything. Heartbeat’s too loud. Breathing’s too loud. The guy next to her is breathing too loud. Everything is too loud.
New text:
AKECHI: Yusuke said you’d recovered from your cold, but you still look a little unwell.
Futaba doesn’t respond to that. She doesn’t need Negative Nancy over here telling her she’s gonna crack. Because she isn’t gonna. The subway starts to slow, and the voice announces the station for Yusuke’s school. She’s literally almost there, she’s right there, she might die in three seconds because her heart is going to pound of her chest but at least she’s going to make it, she promised Akira that she was alright—
The subway doors open. Passengers stand to get off. Akechi stands up. Futaba drops like a rock.
“I can’t,” Futaba’s voice says. She sounds like she’s crying. “I can’t, I can’t do it, I—”
“Futaba—”
“I’m can’t do it, I—”
She buries her face in her knees on the dirty subway floor. Oh, she really is crying. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t…”
Around her, people’s feet stop moving. They’re staring at her. She’s crying on the subway and everyone is staring at her. “Shh,” says Akechi, like Futaba doesn’t know she’s being a loud and irritating pest, but then he takes off his winter coat and covers her with it. Suddenly everything goes dark. It’s a huge coat, too; it wraps around her whole torso with enough room to spare to cover her entire head. Inside, it’s like she’s back in her room, only listening to the sounds of real life somewhere on the other side of a computer monitor, where it can’t hurt her. It’s so surprising she hiccups to a stop. Two hands pull her up by the shoulders and guide her to stand. “Up. Let’s go.”
“Is she okay?” says a voice.
Futaba’s entire body seizes with fear. She ducks into her own knees, trying to disappear.
“Hey, little girl, are you alright?”
“She’ll be fine,” says Akechi’s friendly, super fake ass barbie prince voice. “My sister just had a hard day. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”
“A hard day?” Now the stranger’s voice is accusatory.
“For your information, our dog was recently brutally run over in front of her eyes.”
“Young man, are you serious right now?”
“Oh, yes. There was blood everywhere. Its intestines squelched horribly under the tires less than six feet away from her,” Akechi goes on. Futaba chokes, and then hiccups in what she realizes is almost a laugh. “Please excuse her. Thank you.” And before the literal complete stranger can follow up on that awful statement, Akechi takes her hand and pulls her up.
Futaba stumbles to her feet. If she has to take the coat off right now, she will actually die.
“It’s okay. Just hold my hand and follow me.”
Blindly, she lets him lead her out of the subway, weaving through people with only minimal contact with other people’s shoulders. There’s a whole awkward period where Akechi has to walk her up the stairs out of the subway station while she can’t see anything, but eventually the noise and bustle of other people around her seems to die away, and the air grows cooler in the way it does in the shadows between city buildings. Then they stop walking altogether. When Akechi lets go of her hand, she almost tries to grab it back before she catches herself.
“Okay. There’s nobody else around, now. It’s safe.”
Futaba doesn’t come out of the jacket. In the dark, her eyes dart back and forth, trying to see even as she blinds herself.
“Sorry for grabbing you so suddenly like that,” Akechi’s voice goes on after it becomes obvious she’s not going to come out.
Futaba wipes snottily at her own face. Oh, this is so gross, she’s got snot and tears on top of five days worth of grime and body juice because she hadn’t taken a shower. She’s disgusting. She really actually wants to die right now. She can’t show her face like this.
“Er,” says Akechi. “Do you want…. water, or…?”
Futaba folds up right there on the city pavement, probably dragging Akechi’s nice coat all over a dirty alleyway. She tucks her face into her knees, where she feels safest, and pulls the coat flaps even tighter. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be.”
“I’m sorry for not being okay,” she mumbles.
There’s a short silence. “You really don’t have to be.”
“I do,” Futaba says. She feels like she’s nine years old again, a petulant kid who needs to hold people’s hands and be escorted around Tokyo. “This is—it’s stupid, and I can’t believe I-I’m still doing this, a-and even a-after everything that h-happened last year, I’m still just a… I’m still…”
“It’s fine,” says Akechi. Even he sounds overwhelmed, and at the first sound of weakness, she pulls the coat off her head and glares at him furiously, red-faced and covered in tears and snot and gross depression juice crust and all.
“I’m not supposed to be this way anymore!” she says miserably. “I’m supposed to be better! Moved on! Doing literally a-anything else but crying over t-taking a subway! It’s stupid and nobody else is like this and I just want to be over this already and I just want to be better already and—!“
She covers her face with her hands again. God, even when she says that, it sounds pathetic.
After a moment or two, she hears Akechi moving again. She peeks at him. He’s crouching in almost the exact same pose as her, looking like he’s resigning himself to neither getting his coat back, nor moving from this spot any time soon, nor getting to Yusuke’s art show on time, but also looking archly and entirely unperturbed about it. Actually, it looks like he’s writing a work email on his phone.
Futaba was right about being in an alleyway, but it’s so cold because they’re shielded by a trio of vending machines selling canned coffee and wrapped sandwiches. "Our dog was recently run over?” she says.
“People can mind their own damn business,” says Akechi in his Pleasant Boy Voice, without looking up from his email.
“He was just trying to help.”
“Oh, yes, let’s help the crying girl by crowding her and suffocating her in a crush of public transit.”
Futaba snorts. “That was really mean of you.”
“Oh, absolutely,” says Akechi.
Futaba sucks a truly disgusting gob of snot into her nose. “Ugh. I wish I could’ve seen the guy’s face when you told him that.”
“It was like I’d spat on his shoes. I should’ve kept going. Or had a camera.”
“Futaba giggles wetly into her forearms. "Like one of those—those prank videos online… Get Yusuke to film it.”
“Yusuke, as the cameraman? I’m not trying to make a documentary.” Akechi flips to a different screen on his phone. “I already texted Yusuke about our poor dead dog, by the way, so don’t worry about it.”
Suddenly Futaba feels like literal garbage again. “Why are you always so nice to me?” she mumbles.
Akechi makes a weird face, like he’s trying to do his old Pleasant Boy shtick while having swallowed a lemon whole. “You say that like me being nice is somehow unusual.”
“Uh, yeah. Because it is. You literally were just being a huge asshole to a guy you’d never met over a fictional dog.”
Akechi has this increasingly disgruntled look on his face like he kind of wants to punt Futaba down some stairs, which, frankly, is the best sort of reward, in Futaba’s opinion. “I’m working on it,” he says grumpily.
“How’s that been?” says Futaba.
“Which part?”
Futaba has one whole moment of self reflection on this idea as maybe not a good course of action before she barrels on anyway: “The part where you’re turning your life around. Starting over. Trying again.”
“It sucks dick,” says Akechi.
“Oh, right on,” says Futaba, and then before she can stop herself: “Wait, I thought you liked dick?”
Akechi makes a noise like a strangled cat.
Futaba cackles. “Dude, incognito mode when you’re browsing for porn does not save you from people like me.”
“Have you been spying on me?”
“Uh, yes? Obviously?”
“You know you could get arrested for that sort of breach in privacy.”
“Oh, boo hoo, so sorry I know all about your weird orphan-saving night job and your smutty Featherman doujinshi collection. You’re not gonna narc on me.” Futaba stops. “Are you?”
“Stop looking at my internet history.”
“No. You better not narc on me.”
“Then stop looking at my internet history.”
“You had to google how to change a SIM card last week, crow-boy; you couldn’t stop me if you tried.”
“I will narc on you.”
“No you won’t. You’re the one trying to not be an asshole.”
Akechi makes a face like a cat being slowly submerged in cold water. Futaba laughs in his face.
“If you’re quite done,” says Akechi grouchily.
“No, never. You’re made for being made fun of,” says Futaba. “I’m gonna be making fun of you for years and years, crow-boy; you’re never going to get rid of me.”
“Great.”
“Gonna be creeping on your weird orphan-saving night job until the day you die.”
“Wonderful,” says Akechi without inflection whatsoever.
“Mwehehehehehehehehehe.”
“If you’re quite done.”
“I will take a well-deserved break from my endless duty to troll you both on and offline,” says Futaba. “Because I really really really wanna go to the art show.”
Akechi has the nerve to look relieved that he no longer has to squat in a dirty alleyway listening to a high school freshman bully him. “Then let’s go.”
Futaba hugs her knees tight. “But I wanna keep your coat.”
“Aren’t you wearing your own coat?” says Akechi, trying to look like he isn’t shivering. “Aren’t you getting hot?”
“I’m keeping it.”
“It’s my coat.”
“I’m keeping it.”
“Fine, then. Keep it. It’s dry clean only.”
“Oh, ew. No, take it back, gross, gross,” and Futaba peels the snotty, tear-stained, dirty winter coat off and dumps it back in Akechi’s arms, who looks at it with the expression of someone long-suffering and without hope of escape.
“And,” says Futaba, “I wanna see it if you tell anyone else that our dog got run over.”
Akechi smirks. “You’ll have to film it, then.”
“Oh my god, like I wouldn’t.”
Futaba scrubs her face one last time. She still feels like she’s covered in a grimy layer of slime, but maybe she can wash her face at Kosei. When she gets there. Because she’s gonna get there.
“Uh, one more thing,” says Futaba.
“Not like you’ve bullied me into doing literally everything else you’ve wanted,” says Akechi.
“You can’t laugh at me.”
“Good thing I don’t have a sense of humor,” says Akechi, which horrifyingly confirms to Futaba that Akechi and Yusuke, of all people, really do share a sense of humor.
Futaba hesitates. “Please, um… please don’t tell Akira about this.”
“Why would I tell Akira?“
"Nice. Good answer.” She smooths her hair down, trying to make herself presentable, or just have something to do with her hands. “I… told him I was gonna be okay without him and all that, so… I don’t wanna let him down, you know?”
Slowly, almost shyly, Akechi smiles. “Oh, yes. I know.”
“Our secret. Secret-keepers.”
“Secret-keepers. Are you ready?”
Futaba takes another deep breath. Pushes herself up, brushes herself off, and sighs. “Absolutely not. This is gonna suck so much dick,” says Futaba. “Let’s go anyway.”
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furyfought · 3 years
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abernathy is a small town, surely you’ve met AGATHA KLEIN ; they can be a little IRREVERENT & OPPORTUNISTIC but have no fear , the TWENTY SEVEN year old definitely makes up for it by being IMPISH & SENSITIVE . most of the time anyway .  they’re usually seen around KLEIN & ASSOCIATES, LLC , as a CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY . you know, i hear they’re affiliated with the local mc, iron kings as an ATTORNEY . they’ve got this vibe of A HEART GROWN RAVENOUS, A CYANIDE CENTER ENCAPSULATED BY SACCHARINE FRUIT, AND A SOUL IN THE FORM OF A SCRIBBLE WITH FANGS going on , makes them easily recognizable.
loosely inspired by jennifer check (jennifer's body), wendy byrde (ozark), ginger fitzgerald (ginger snaps), elizabeth sloane (miss sloane), john silver (black sails), & BBHMM.
+ pinterest, stats.
hey, friends. i’m devin (or dev) & very tickled to be here. agatha’s a combination of two of my favorite muses, and i can only hope that you’ll love her as much as i do. 🤎
"𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄, 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒. 𝐍𝐎. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓."
agatha’s story isn’t one that she likes to tell anymore. she feels it’s useless: to be defined by the actions of others, to attempt to battle the preconceived notions that run rampant regardless of what one says or does. she doesn’t want to beg for understanding anymore, or to claw her way from beneath the filth she’s made of her life. all that most know is all that she can bear to have known. the rest? it’s confetti; a meager concession in a game of chess. if you know her, is that a fact or a weapon to be used against her?
when it comes to the stories that can be told, however.. perhaps the most important is background. agatha’s an abernathy native: raised in grandiose park, flew the coop for college, only to settle back down in bordeaux apartments. klein & associates, llc. has been in her family for generations, each forefather serving increasingly questionable clients. agatha’s life, like that of many kleins before her, was already planned before she’d ever even been a thought in her parents’ minds. under her mother’s rule, there wasn’t any room for straying from that path. agatha would be smart; she would be clean; and she would be, without fail, someone. in other words, she would be her perfect replica. imagine the disappointment when agatha was anything but. 
agatha’s childhood can be summed up by three things: a door slammed shut in her face, an ear-piercing howl, and the chronic longing to go home — wherever that was. it’s another thing she doesn’t talk about, another thing she tries not to think about. those three things have followed her into adulthood, but they’ve taken different forms now. no longer is agatha a child screaming her throat raw — no; now, she cries out in other more productive ways. if you were to ask her, she’d tell you that she’s a woman grown; the past is behind her, buried in the sand where it belongs. the truth is trickier, less absolute. agatha is a child in the form of a woman; forever in the midst of a metamorphosis, unsure if for better or worse. she lacks foresight & lives largely in the now. she can’t imagine a future for herself and her choices in life reflect that.
agatha succeeds because she’s pretty, powerful, and convincing. wherever she falls short, her father is sure to more than make up for it. it’s amazing what people will do for the right price, and when they want to keep certain secrets from ever seeing the light. nepotism & immense privilege have done wonders for her, but she does.. actually work hard, too. she has an incredible memory & is really good at digging for more information & making her case. if she tells you that she’s going to do something, then she’s going to do it right no matter what. she’s dogged in that way, blinded to the outside world by her stubbornness. she works long hours & values her career above all else. she thinks it’s the only sure thing she has & views it as the one stable, secure thing in her life.
agatha is lonely to the point of defect. she lacks a sense of security in her life, which is why she’s so career-focused. she genuinely thinks that the only person ever looking out for her is her dad. she becomes very predictable once you realize that she will always pick the winning team; that she will forever follow the money; and that she is always going to make the decision that most benefits her. that isn’t to say that she doesn’t have any friends omg, but.. she doesn’t really trust easily. if she trusts you and considers you near and dear to her heart, then she’ll choose you. but until she has that reassurance? you’re on your own, bro. 
but like.. you literally would not know that unless you got burned by her. agatha is really good at listening and really good at playing parts for people. the thing with having no story is that she’s free to create her own. if you need a hero, she can be that. if you need a villain, she can definitely be that. she’s eerily good at getting chummy enough to make people think she’s close, only for them to realize.. they don’t actually know anything real about her? fun stuff. 
i think.. her entire life is a vie for power while also wanting to let go of that desire while also being afraid of what might happen if she were to let go of that desire. she’s not tht bad. she can play decent, be a guy’s guy. and she does come off tht way. it’s jus.. underneath there’s tht like .. tht rot tht she can’t scrub away. n it rears its ugly little head smtimes. but. :^) she can be cool n shoot the shit u kno.. heheh.
anyway.. lighter stuff<3 puts the gaslight and gatekeep in girlboss. talks just like her daddy, except for when she’s in the courtroom. egocentric without ever meaning to be. (spoiler: it’s a smoke screen.) she can, must, and will find a way to twist your words into something she can make sense of. believes in mixed drink supremacy. will absolutely smoke all of your weed + play dumb about hogging the blunt. plays dumb a lot actually, until it’s time to be smart. she’s touchy-feely, but freezes up whenever someone touches her. stares — a lot. can’t ever be the person to pick you up after a rough night out, because she’s likely there with you egging you on to do one more shot. every event is a tits out event / she has to be the most overdressed person in the convenience store at all times. can, must, and will be your unsolicited sugar momma. YOU SPIL-DBFDHFDJHBF LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG? energy. thinks everything is a competition because it is. if she loved you once then she loves you forever. thinks going 20 over the speed limit isn’t speeding, actually. a bit of an emotional anarchist. can’t actually take what she’ll dish out. teases u if she likes u. teases u if she doesn’t like u. doesn’t care abt the feud as long as she’s gettin’ tht shmoney. big fan of an emotional sucker punch. 
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"𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐌𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋."  + below are some ideas open to any & all muses no matter the age, gender, affiliation, etc !
i’ve left how she got involved with the mc totally absent from this intro bc i was hoping to plot it out! i’d love it if someone wanted to be her “in”. could be they were a childhood friend in need of help, a client she got close to, jus smth tht happened by chance.. whtever we come up with works! <3
if anyone needs an evil ex gf .. She’s Here. she will lie, cheat, scam, trash yr car, empty yr bank account.. whtvr you need, baybee<3
conversely.. not-so-evil ex gf? agatha can be nice & caring without there being a catch sometimes. maybe they still talk. maybe they’re friends. u tell me.
fwb / ex fwb? she do be sending them ‘u up?’ texts. 
someone tht agatha only got close to bc she wanted them to testify/be a character witness in court oopz<3
omg actual friends pls.. ppl tht Know her. tht See her. ppl tht she cares abt n would actually do anything for. friends!!!!!!!!!!!!
agatha has “get off my lawn” energy so i think it would be very funnie if someone needed a place to crash n she let them stay at hers thinking it was temporary n then they jus.. did not leave. n she’s like 🤨 hello?
an almost smth? anything weird n awkward n unspoken tht maybe fizzled out or maybe still lingers under the surface?
agatha doesn’t have a budding drinking problem but if she does no she doesn’t but if she does then<3 drinking buddy? someone that she’s gotten into questionable shenanigans with? poor bartender tht has to deal w her trying to “help” them as she waits for her uber to come? the possibilities are endless.
agatha’s all bark n very little bite but i still think it’d be funnie if she had a hateship. jus putting tht out there<3
if yr muse wnts an ego boost via unrequited crush.. lmk. i’m willing to hulk smash all of agatha’s dignity jus for u.
omggg a dealer? >.> who said tht omg #hacked.. 
on n off again thingz? lorde wrote tht "i am my mother's child i'll love you til my breathing stops / i'll love you till you call the cops on me" line abt her</3
budding friendships!!!!!!! ppl tht she goes to pilates or yoga with; people she gets brunch with; ppl she keeps running into n its like heeey u :); little platonic crushes jus . all of the cute platonic thingz tht make her go wtf is this 🤨. 
i mean.. if anyone wants a sugar momma.. I MEANNN..
college friends!! law school friends!! ppl she met over the summer while interning somewhere!! i left tht purposely vague, hint-hint.
tinder dates gone wrong. ghosted tinder dates. tinder thingz.
agatha’s been attending galas / banquets / office partiez for ages now so if anyone wants to be her plus one or her lil fake date... :^) could be cute. cld be angsty. world is our oyster. 
speaking of which.. coworkers n maybe even a lil personal assistant would be so sexie.
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ok SO I got an anon I wasn’t gunna respond to but I'm enjoying a vegan chocolate banana cookie dough thc/cbd infused smoothie I invented so fuck it, let’s do this
this isn’t gunna be eloquent at all and I hope what im intending to say comes off correctly. may not, my brain is mush- but here we go!
so last night/technically this morning I reblogged a lot from this brilliant intersexism blog. (highly recommend giving a follow!) which led to...a bizarre ass anon this morning (I'll make another post linking to her blog so ya’ll can follow. she doesn’t need to deal w/ this post after everything else she deals w/ on here- unless u want to ofc!! hi ur cool! ANYWAY...)
I don’t remember the exact wording but it was something like “so ud rather have sex w intersex ppl over trans ppl??”
ummm. I literally never said shit about sex w/ intersex ppl?? like, ever.
was that supposed to be some huge “gotcha!!” ??
‘cause it didn’t work, at all.
1. my body is not a democracy
2. why r ya’ll obsessed w sex as validation
3. ur rly gunna ask me, essentially, if I'd rather be intimate w a deranged narcissistic reality denying manic OR a person with an intersex disorder...and u rly think I'm gunna be like OH NO I’D RATHER HAVE SEX W A MANIAC???
like...it’s rly not ab sex at all but did u RLY think that was gunna work in ur favor somehow?? and if u did, why did u think so? could it be bc u use intersex ppl as pawns for ur arguments but then don’t actually consider them ppl that can be in loving and intimate relationships? do u rly think this is activism? do you feel no shame?? you should be fucking embarrassed. this is so embarrassing for you. 
something ya’ll don’t realize: I worked at a center that offered therapeutic services, std testing, & peer activity groups for lgbtiapqbdsmnlmnop folxxxx
I know how ya’ll speak to your therapists, to your peers when you think no one is listening, I watch ya’ll take credit for things u did NOTHING for, I've watched your violence against anyone who disagrees with you (INCLUDING about tv show characters...like, come on..) Adult trans women using fake IDs to try to get into youth events...and then get MAD AT ME when I have to kick A WHOLE ASS HALF DRESSED MAN GRINDING ON THE FLOOR out of an event for CHILDREN... this is beyond just Tumblr. you’re also like this irl. and often, somehow, even fucking worse.
I had far less intersex clients BUT ya know who wasn’t throwing tantrums, being violent, trying to take credit for things they didn’t do, starting fights, sneaking into events to get near minors?? my intersex clients! NOT ONCE. AND  let’s be real...my intersex clients had good fucking reason to be furious and there were absolutely times that I would not have blamed them in the slightest for slapping tf out of someone...but they didn’t. not once. (ngl tho if they did I would have “not seen” what happened tbh bc I am a very responsible adult lmao- I can say this now bc I left the field so it matters not at all for my career)
ya know who would stay after hours, silently crying in rage bc of the shit trans clients said to them? my intersex clients (the big one was trans ppl telling them they’re lucky they get to ~~choose~~ their sex)
ya know who took the time to use open activist hour to build presentations to teach the LARGELY ENTIRELY INEPT staff (myself included, more below) about intersex issues so the people who come after them can get better help than they were able to receive?? I'll give you one guess. 
I left academia and working in the field w/ ppl bc of my experiences at this place & the direction this tender gender trender shit is taking academia. Intersex people deserve so much fucking better than even having to HEAR this bullshit. I would only go back into the field to work with women & intersex individuals. Probably as a volunteer though, but I digress
I worked there when all these new words were coming out too like demisexual android identified diaper baby or whatever the fuck lmao and the trans clients would be FURIOUS when anyone didn’t know wtf it meant
and in contrast our intersex clients were constantly explaining shit to staff/interns/volunteers about their conditions that they should never have had to explain TO THE PROFESSIONALS WHO WERE THERE TO HELP THEM. and I can’t even lie and pretend I fucking knew much, I didn’t. I was hired without even knowing i’d be working w intersex clients- I just needed to show I knew some trans buzzwords. but I put in the time to learn, I read every book any client recommended, any article they emailed me- but honestly that STILL ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH!!!! I should NOT have been hired!!! MY BOSS should not have been hired!!! Actually, the only staff members that actually deserved their job was an gay intersex man. OT but he was so cool and smart and hilarious and like FUN ANGRY like idk how to explain that better lol he was good at getting u pumped up ab shit & good at getting ppl worked up enough to DO something. The only other staff member who actually cared and knew anything was a lesbian woman (of course) but she had recently had a baby and became so afraid for the welfare of her wife and daughter that she went along w trans shit that she KNEW was delusional and unhealthy bc we SAW these trans clients being violent on the Regular. we were legally obligated to call the cops several times. she wasn’t wrong to be afraid but I do think she should have tried to work elsewhere if she could no longer do her job with integrity but that’s a conversation for another day.
agh im just gunna end this post now bc I can rly go on and on but I'll leave the post with this question that I'd very much like an answer to:
how can we as activists be of better service to our intersex sisters? this issue is becoming more and more pressing and I can’t sit back and do nothing for them anymore. does anyone know of intersex only orgs that need volunteers or have suggestions?? PLS LET ME KNOW. I won’t go back to where I was but there’s GOTTA be SOMETHING I can do for the intersex community. let’s figure it out <3 this issue very seriously needs the attention of radical feminists tbh so...let’s do something.
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yaz-the-spaz · 4 years
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But you can’t blame z stans for not liking her when she and the girls put zayn through so much shit after the break up. Every snark comment, that ridiculous break up story jesy pointing at Perrie several times after the break up when they sang black magic Perries what’s his face them laughing when a girl screamed zayns a bitch the whole sotme fiasco her crying for sympathy which zayn is still getting shit for her mentioning sotme every chance she gets so I’m not blaming z stans for disliking her
if i was in a band where for 4 years nearly every single interview i was in the focus got almost completely re-directed to a relationship that had nothing to do with the band or the music, and even after that fake relationship ended it still kept happening, i might be pretty snarky about it too. ofc the boys had some moments where the relationships got focused on in interviews but imo it was nowhere near what LM experienced. with 1d an interviewer might ask a question or two about whoever the boys were dating and that’s obviously annoying but for LM there were sometimes nearly whole interviews that got bogarted by questions about zerrie. there were times when the other girls literally would barely even get asked a single question cause everything was about zerrie, zerrie, zerrie. and there are multiple times where you can clearly see perrie is absolutely done with being forced to talk about it too or to act happy about it. i’m not asking ppl to suddenly start stanning her, i’m just asking ppl to give her (and the other girls) the benefit of the doubt.
imagine for a moment that the shoe were on the other foot and some 1d fan called perrie a bitch and zayn laughed, or that louis got snarky in an interview and said something not too nice about perrie...you’d probably be praising zayn and louis (and that hypothetical fan) all the livelong day b/c zayn’s your fave and you’re looking at it from his perspective but just for a moment try to look at it from hers too. she went through that shit too for four years too, and unlike zayn she still had to play her part of the broken-hearted fiancee for like a year after it was all over. did she want that for herself? who knows. but based on some of the reactions i’ve seen from her when she let her guard down and/or just didn’t give af anymore i’d be willing to bet that’s not at all what she wanted for herself, and that she’s just as sick of her public image forever being connected to zayn as he is. she played the role well at some moments but that’s what she had to do. she had just as little choice as zayn did, she just was very occasionally a little bit better at selling it (emphasis on very occasionally). she can’t change the fact that sotme is always gonna be connected to zayn b/c of the bullshit her shitty mgmt made her do. she has a right to be annoyed and to react badly just as much as zayn. you keep putting the blame on her as if this was all her choice, but if the evidence has shown ANYTHING it’s that practically nothing a syco-backed artist does is their choice and we have no idea what else the girls might have even had to go through behind the scenes too (both with zayn and with the industry in general). we have no idea what kind of sexism, racism, sexual harassment, body image issues, etc. they might have had to deal on top of that all just from being females in the entertainment industry at a time when everyone thought a girl group was gonna be an automatic fail and the only ‘good’ way they could think to sell them was to just piggyback off the success of a band of boys and a fabricated relationship. 
have you ever once thought about what it might been like from their perspective? can you imagine how degrading that would be to constantly be getting told, both directly and indirectly, that your talent on your own isn’t good enough just b/c you’re girls? that everything you say or do has to revolve around a band of boys and a fake relationship instead of your actual music or your actual talent b/c that’s not ‘marketable’ enough and not ‘good enough.’ and then when you finally think it’s over, you still have to play along with it for another year, and even still have to deal with getting asked about it years later? and that’s on top of whatever other bs you’re getting told about not being thin enough, not being pretty enough, not being sexy enough, or having to let ppl get away with doing and saying degrading things to you just b/c you’re a girl, and that you’re never gonna make it or be successful unless it’s on the coattails of men. to have ppl telling you every time your song doesn’t chart that it’s because you/your bandmate is not doing a good job at selling your connection with this boyband or your relationship with this boy well enough. if you were in that position you’d probably be damn annoyed with the boy and the boyband you were constantly being forcibly associated to, compared to, and overshadowed by too. the fact is Lm was never allowed to stand on their own two feet under syco, everything was always connected to zerrie and 1d and getting hated on and blamed b/c of that as if that was in any way their own fault or their own choice. and then when they lash out about it (just like the boys have done with their beards or other ppl they don’t like on countless occasions) you guys have the nerve to continue to blame them for it. you say stuff like ‘she and the girls put zayn through so much shit’ as if they’re not just humans reacting to just as shitty of a situation forced upon them by their shitty mgmt. as if zayn himself doesn’t know that in a lot of ways they were in the same boat and reacting to things in the same way that zayn and the boys have done. i’m not saying the LM girls are perfect people or that you have to like them, but at least stop laying all of the blame completely on them and try to understand that they have just as much reason to lash out about this stuff as the boys do. that they have just as much reason to be annoyed and frustrated and snarky and bitter. different reasons, sure, but still justified in my opinion
so to your comment about blaming z stans for not liking her - i can and i will. because from what i’ve seen it tends to be just blind hate. it’s ppl putting literally every stunt on her personally as if she arranged it herself (which may be the case for some of the other beards but not her). it’s ppl hating on her/the band for ‘using’ zayn for fame when she/they clearly had no real choice in the matter (again unlike other beards). it’s ppl simply hating on her for being a beard and participating in closeting with no regard to the fact that in many ways she was in the same boat as zayn was, and was coerced into the situation just as much as zayn was. it’s ppl holding up her and the girls’ negative reactions to talk of zayn/zerrie/1d and being like ‘see, she’s a bitch’ but yet when their faves do the same they’re praising it, and they don’t even take a moment to think about all the justifiable reasons the girls might feel they have for reacting this way (and who even knows what might have gone on b/t them and zayn personally too that might add to all of that). i wanna be clear, i’m not saying it’s right, or that i condone it all. i get ppl in the fandom not liking perrie/lm. I DO. but at least have specific reasons for not liking her and at least be fair enough to recognize that 1) most of the things you’re hating on her (and/or the other LM girls) for are not her/their fault personally, 2) even for the things that are her/their fault, they may feel they have a right to respond a little bit bitterly and/or snarkily b/c of whatever they bullshit they were put through as a result, and 3) that if the roles were reversed and it was zayn who had done what she did your reaction would be a whole lot different simply because you like him and are more willing to consider things from his perspective and be more sympathetic
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maladaptivemischief · 4 years
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Tumblr didn’t give me any notifications and I never get asks so i didn’t see this until just now I’m so sorry!!
This isn’t a dumb question! For me personally when it comes to pots the reason I need to lie down on the floor is because I’m too dizzy to stand and I start to black out
Pots causes the heart to beat so fast that it isn’t pumping any blood (before I was put on beta blockers mine used to get up into the 220s before I even started to notice it)
What I experience in particular is called Near-Syncope which is essentially all the symptoms that lead up to unconsciousness without ever actually losing consciousness!
I lie down when i feel it coming on because it’s safer than falling down and there’s really not enough places in public to sit down if you need to - and at home if i’m not within collapsing range of furniture then I’m shit outta luck
Also you aren’t wrong about trying to get a diagnosis - I was incredibly lucky with my ehlers-danlos and my pots diagnosis because my doctors were competent and trusted me to know my own body (They also, y’know, actually bothered testing me - scuse me while I side eye some other doctors I’ve seen)
I wish I knew more about fibro and rhuematic illnesses but I’m gonna be real w/ you chief, I have some p severe memory issues so I’m not any kind of authority when it comes to illnesses that I’m not living with day to day
Although one thing I can say with confidence is - It doesn’t matter which one is worse! (please read that in a positive tone!) Knowing is so much better than wondering! Again from personal experience, even if it’s something that can’t be cured you’ll have some idea of ways you can adjust your lifestyle to help alleviate symptoms - it won’t always be painless but it’s the first step to making your life even the smallest bit easier!
I can relate to people thinking I’m faking - my own brother didn’t realize that I was actually disabled until I was collapsing in front of him multiple times a day because of how much worse my heart had gotten - It took him 20 whole years and multiple doctors confirming how fucked I am for him to think I wasn’t just being dramatic - My best advice for people like that is that they don’t matter
Yes loved ones included
Especially them
The people who love you will try to deny you have any kind of “flaw” (Ugh, abled ppl amiright) or are in pain because it hurts them to see you that way, but with time and gentle education they’ll realize that they’re hurting you worse by denying your reality. And if they aren’t trash they’ll do better
The people who don’t love you and pull that shit can bite their own dicks
Regardless of what other people think, you know your own life and body and mind better than they ever will, and if they try to deny your reality they’re deluding themselves for their own comfort which is just plain selfish of them
Also - GOOD LORD can I relate to people dismissing physical symptoms as the result of mental illness - I have PTSD anxiety and depression and one time I went to the doctor because I had such horrible chest pain that I couldn’t speak and ended up in the ER - When I went to my primary the nurse that came in first kept insisting that it was anxiety and questioning me about my mental health and UWU maybe its the stress UWU
Turns out my spine was so weak my ribs were collapsing!! Which the dctor who came in after her figured out in literally 3 minutes
You aren’t bothering me and you aren’t rambling! Please don’t say sorry, you haven’t done anything wrong! I’m not an expert of anything, I can’t diagnose people and I think I’m the last person in the world who someone should seek medical treatment from but this ain’t that
I’m sorry you feel outcast, I can 100p relate to that too. It’s super lonely being disabled - what friends you have tend to leave you behind - family tries to “help” but they don’t understand and it puts a pressure on you to do the impossible and it isn’t fair that you have to go through any of this.
All I can really say is if you (or anyone else) need to vent to somebody who gets it I’m right here - I don’t always answer on time (I have my bad days too) but I’m here with you and I get it
And sometimes for me that’s what helps the most
This has been super long and I’m sorry to my followers for clogging your dash lmao but this is important to me and I’ll do it as many times as I have to.
And to you anon! I’d like to leave you with this note my favorite doctor I’ve ever had gave me when she finished her residency and left for another city
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I carry this in my wallet and it’s advice I live by
Find yourself a Dr. B
You got this
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dottie-wan-kenobi · 4 years
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I loveeee all the songs u chose for Tim!!! Can u maybe do a post or smth explaining why cus it’s so interesting seeing the choice behind these songs
Hi yes I can!! I’m not gonna do all of them here (I can def do the rest if you’d like!!) bc that’s just a Lot all at once lol. Also I might have typos and I apologize but dkjsfhakh I have bandaids on my fingers and it’s hard to type :^/
Disclaimer: some of these songs fit a lot better than other ones
Hard Times by Paramore
I chose this song bc it’s abbout being sad, but the tone is upbeat and happy. Something I’ve noticed abt Tim is that he is (usually) functionally depressed. Like, I read an article about high functioning depression, and it said that a lot of people who have it have a hole in their life – that they can have a job (and Tim does, being either CEO or Red Robin or both), a partner (who I like to think of as Kon), and be part of a family, maintaining this happy/upeat facade, but if you ask them what they do for fun…they usually can’t answer that. And I don’t think Tim can. When he was younger, he could, but what now? 
Fave Lyric: “Walking around / With my little rain cloud / Hanging over my head/ And it ain’t coming down / Where do I go? / Gimme some sort of sign / You hit me with lightning! / Maybe I’ll come alive”
Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons
I chose this bc I can picture Tim, during a low moment like when Kon or Bruce died, just falling apart and thinking he’s not going to survive it, isn’t strong enough, had something to do with their deaths happening,,, etc. Also there’s a line that references anxiety and like lmao that’s Tim!
Fave Lyric: “Tremble for yourself, my man, / You know that you have seen this all before / Tremble, little lion man, / You’ll never settle any of your scores / Your grace is wasted in your face, / Your boldness stands alone among the wreck / Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck”
Heroes (we could be) by Alesso feat. Tove Lo
I chose this bc Tim needed a happy song and also because this has such Young Justice vibes !!!! This is Tim and his friends having fun, roaming around, kicking bad guy ass together!! Actually upon looking at the lyrics again, it’s both YJ and Batman & Robin. It just encompasses Tim’s early days of being a hero I think, the happy carefree nature and the bravery and the hope
Fave Lyric: “Everyday people do everyday things but I / Can’t be one of them / I know you hear me now, we are a different kind / We can do anything”
Burn The House Down by AJR
Tbh I mostly chose this bc its a bop and I think he would sing along to it. BUT I also think this kind of represents his life as a public figure/celeb??? And if I wanna go even further, I think it could represent him when he’s older and more confident, with a better self esteem and maybe a lil less depressed (which I hope is in the cards for his future). Also it talks about lying a lot???? I’m sorry, I don’t have a good analysis for this one lmao
Fave Lyric: “Way up way up we go / Been up and down that road / Way up way up, oh no / We gon’ burn the whole house down / Watch me stand in the line / You’re only serving lies / You’ve got something to hide / We gon’ burn the whole house down”
Don’t Let Me Down by The Chainsmokers feat. Daya
I chose this bc it reminded me of Tim and Dick. I’m of the opinion that Tim getting fired from Robin was the right choice and that Dick wasn’t being cruel or anything like that at all, but I also think that Tim probably saw it that way which is valid. So it’s like, to him, Dick was his big brother who was basically always there for him, and then suddenly… he’s not. And everything else going on in his life starts to suck dramatically, and not having his big brother makes it worse, and he feels betrayed. Meanwhile Dick really is on his side, life is just also terrible for him too so they can’t be as close as they were when Tim was Robin. It can also be about Bruce or Kon tbh – just, wanting one of them to be there and they’re not.
Fave Lyric: “Crashing, hit a wall / Right now I need a miracle / Hurry up now, I need a miracle / Stranded, reaching out / I call your name but you’re not around”
More under the cut!!
Don’t Play by Halsey
This…. I chose this bc I really love the celebrity versions of the Bats, and also how competent Tim can be, and this song brings both of those together. Lol this could also be like…what other people think the Bats/Tim think like?? “Don’t play with me, I’m rich and will fuck you up” kinda thing. This is one of the ones that fits less well than the others but I still get Tim vibes from it so I’m keeping it
Fave Lyric: “Tryna take back what you say to me / I don’t give a damn what you say to me / There ain’t no time for games with me”
Over My Head (Cable Car) by The Fray
I get the feeling that after bad shit happens to Tim, he feels the way this song shows. I haven’t read much YJ so I can’t be sure, but I get the feeling that Tim, no matter what the truth is, feels like he’s alone and there’s no one who will help him. Obviously that can be tied back to his childhood and how he had to take care of himself, and so when there are people who actually do wanna help him he doesn’t see it?? And he’s down on himself so he’s probably thinking “they don’t want to help me, and I can’t blame them”
Fave Lyric: “But that’s how it’s got to be / It’s coming down to nothing more than apathy / I’d rather run the other way than stay and see / The smoke and who’s still standing when it clears” 
Icarus by Bastille
Okay not so much the drinking aspect of this song but EVERYTHING ELSE. I even used one of the lyrics for a fic title. Basically my thoughts here are: 1) everyone looks to the Robins and sees how much they do and it’s just A Lot, 2) Tim knows Jason died and so he probably thinks that’s in his future too even if Dick survived, and 3) Tim is doing a lot and feeling a lot and trying to protect himself and his feelings, which is hard work especially for someone so young
Fave Lyric: “Living beyond your years / Acting out all their fears / You feel it in your chest”
Needed Me by Rihanna
Again,,,, the Competence. I love that shit. I love BAMF!Bats, and tbh I think this could apply to more than just Tim, but I picked it for him bc of the first lyric!! This is also one of those ones that doesn’t fit super well but djkhfjkdshah I think this could really fit an AU Tim where he’s like. More morally gray. Not necessarily a bad guy but just more confident, more arrogant maybe, and more jaded from the hero-ing life
Fave Lyric: “I was good on my own, that’s the way it was, that’s the way it was / You was good on the low for a faded fuck, on some faded love / Shit, what the fuck you complaining for? / Feeling jaded, huh?”
What I’ve Done by Linkin Park
Okay I think this fits a lot of different things: his actions after Kon’s death, his and Damian’s relationship, the lies he’s told (to ppl like Steph, his dad, Tam?), his relationship with Bruce maybe?? I can also see it as him thinking on who he was as a kid – a stalker basically lmao, but ultimately harmless – versus who he is now – a skilled vigilante who’s definitely not harmless. Stark difference there. Also he’s forgiving himself, which is something I think is important for somebody with a low self view
Fave Lyric: “In this farewell / There’s no blood / There’s no alibi / ‘Cause I’ve drawn regret / From the truth / Of a thousand lies”
Tell Me You Love Me by Demi Lovato
I chose this because I think Tim is fucked up by the neglect he suffered in his childhood. I think parts of this song can be directed at his parents, the Batfam, his partner(s). He’s afraid that they’ll leave him and he needs the reassurance. Whether or not he gets it is another matter but kdsjfjkdsah. Really, I think this is all just what he’s thinking, and NOT what he’s saying. He needs the reassurance, yes, but he’s not actually asking for it because he doesn’t know how
Fave Lyric: “Bad at love, no, I’m not good at this”
bellyache by Billie Eilish
When I first added this to his playlist I somehow didn’t realize it was about a murderer but dkjfhkjshjkah whatever I’m keeping it. Let’s just go with this is a song about being fucked up (in whatever sense u wanna take that as) and it’s not happy? But like the first one, it’s upbeat and positive. I think the happy sound hiding the less pretty truth is something that explains Tim a lot. Also its a bop and he might sing along to it
Fave Lyric: “Everything I do / The way I wear my noose / Like a necklace / I wanna make ‘em scared / Like I could be anywhere / Like I’m reckless”
Migraine by Twenty One Pilots
Just Another Song About Tim’s Abysmal Mental Health
Fave Lyric: “Behind my eyelids are islands of violence / My mind ship-wrecked / This is the only land my mind could find / I did not know it was such a violent island / Full of tidal waves, suicidal crazed lions / They’re trying to eat me, blood running down their chin / And I know that I can fight or I can let the lion win / I begin to assemble what weapons I can find / 'Cause sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind”
Fake Love by Drake
I hate Drake but kjdsfkjdsfhajh this goes back to a few things. His celebrity and how he’s seen/treated differently by others because of it, his low self view and the paranoia that people aren’t really there for him no matter what the truth might be, how he sees things others wouldn’t, his relationships with people like Damian and Bruce. I think he’s more forgiving than this song would imply, so maybe this is also for that AU Tim I mentioned above???
Fave Lyric: “I’ve been down so long it look like up to me / They look up to me / I got fake people showin’ fake love to me / Straight up to my face, straight up to my face”
Six Feet Under by Billie Eilish
TIMKON TIMKON TIMKON. Post Kon’s death TimKon and Tim is grieving and trying to forget bc it’s so painful!!!!!!
Fave Lyric: “Our love is six feet under / I can’t help but wonder / If our grave was watered by the rain / Would roses bloom? / Could roses bloom / Again?”
Flaws by Bastille
Idek, I feel like this could be how he could view his relationship with Steph, Cass, Damian, Bart, Dick??? Anyone? Just feeling like he hides his flaws and how he feels, and they don’t really (or at least, he thinks they don’t), and he likes that.
Fave Lyric: “There’s a hole in my soul / I can’t fill it, I can’t fill it / There’s a hole in my soul / Can you fill it? Can you fill it?”
do re mi by blackbear
I’m mostly joking when I say this but this is how he feels about Ra’s al Ghul. It doesn’t fit exactly, bc Tim and Ra’s were NOT together ever at any point, but this song is about being annoyed by someone you have a history with and wishing you’d never known them. Which is how I feel Tim should feel about Ra’s. lol
Fave Lyric: “If I could go back to that day we met / I probably would’ve stayed in bed / You wake up everyday and make me feel like I’m incompetent”
Bored by Billie Eilish
I really think this is Tim talking to his parents. Like, when he’s a kid, or when he’s older and looking back, he’s thinking “I did everything I could, it wasn’t enough, and I know it’s not fair but I can’t do anything about it.” I think this song is supposed to be romantic but I’ve never heard it that way skdjfkjsdhakjh I just always think about Tim, home alone and thinking about his parents.
Fave Lyric: “I’m not afraid anymore / What makes you sure you’re all I need? / Forget about it / When you walk out the door and leave me torn / You’re teaching me to live without it / Bored, I’m so bored, I’m so bored, so bored”
Rose-Colored Boy by Paramore
This one is like… everyone else seems to have an easier time being optimistic and positive than Tim does, in his mind. Idk I don’t have much to say kdsjfhsdjkah
Fave Lyric: “Hearts are breaking, wars are raging on / And I have taken my glasses off / You got me nervous / I’m right at the end of my rope / A half-empty girl / Don’t make me laugh, I’ll choke”
King of the Clouds by Panic! At The Disco
This is mostly because it’s a bop and Tim would like it. But also…this is a song about dimensional travel (apparently) and having ambitions that seem lofty, both of which I think Tim can definitely understand!! 
Fave Lyric: “And when I fall to rise with stardust in my eyes / In the backbone of night, I’m combustible / Dust in the fire when I can’t sleep a wink, I’m too tired / This old world, this old world”
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emo-does-things · 5 years
Text
To Reach A Journey’s End- A Soulmate AU
Authors’ note: hey folks!! so this is the first chapter of a collaboration that the amazing!!! @ace--writes​ and I have been working on. Basic premise here is that it’s going to be a kind of angsty kind of fluffy highschool soulmate AU.
We don’t know how america or a lot of things in general work, so if we get things wrong please let us know (i say to the void of no ppl who will read this lol)
Fandom: Sanders Sides
Relationships:  eventual LAMP, background Remy/Emile
Summery:
Fate is like a braided cord, all woven up together.
Patton and Virgil have been best friends for years. Roman and Virgil are sure that their story is hate at first sight and nothing more. Logan is happy being alone... for the most part.
That's how things are, and how they’ll stay. Or, maybe not… Their stories are intertwined, not that they know it yet, and while fate might be pulling them together, their actions decide the path they follow, right to the journey’s end.
Chapters: two | three | Ao3 link
Warnings: None i don’t think, let us know if there any to include in the future
Words: 2993
~~~~~
The first time that Virgil woke up, it was in a panic. He was a sweating and panting mess, and very quickly he couldn’t remember why. The nightmare just didn’t seem to stick. Soon enough, though, he managed to calm himself down, and when he looked at the time it was 3:47am. Not a time he needed to be awake at.
The second time Virgil woke up it was also a bad and inconvenient experience. His whole body was frozen, you know, like classic sleep paralysis. Eventually, after what felt like hours, he had managed to convince his weary body to get out of bed. He went to the bathroom, and returned to his room. It was 4:52am now, he still had another hour to sleep, at least. Not that it would help him all that much.
The last time that Virgil woke up that morning was to an irritating clinking, and obnoxious sipping sound. He groaned, rolling over and pulling his covers up over his head. Why couldn’t he have an alarm like normal kids?
There was an exaggerated sigh he knew all too well, “Sweetie, it’s time to get up.”
“No,” Virgil groaned. His body had tricked him enough times throughout the night that he couldn’t believe that it was time to get up yet.
“6:34am,” Came the smug reply, from somewhere outside the door “And, it’s a school day. You know, like the first one back?”
Shit. It was. In a world where he was a functioning human being, Virgil would have jumped from his bed and started getting ready as soon as he heard the door shut. This was not, however, that world, and so instead he sat up, and pulled himself from under the covers, with agonising slowness, not looking forward to the day at all.
Once he was out of the bed, however, the general anxiety kicked in and he was scrambling for his closet. He snatched whatever came to his hands first, all of which were black, and grabbed his favourite hoodie, which had been stitched up so many times it was just his aesthetic at this point, from the back of the chair where it had been left yesterday.  
He left his room to see the bastard that woke him up leaning against the wall in all his extraness and glory. Remy had sunglasses atop his head, a straw to his lips, and a fake bored expression across his face as he scrolled through his phone.
“Morning,” Virgil sighed, although that didn’t stop a slight smile spreading across his face.
“What, not good morning?”
“Not when I have to wake up to your face, dad”
He didn’t think he’d ever get used to being woken up by Remy, no matter how many times it happened. He didn’t think he’d get used to Remy in general for that matter, from the extra aesthetic that he totally wasn’t jealous of at all too ridiculous caffeinated beverages.  
Remy looked up and smiled, “Good morning to you too, babe. Here, iced tea because your father would kill me otherwise.”
He shoved his phone into his jacket pocket more smoothly than any human should be able to manage with a drink tucked into his elbow, before handing the travel mug of tea over.
Virgil grinned, amused, and took his drink, “The usual, yeah?”
“Of course,” Remy grinned and stood up properly, he was still so much taller than Virgil and it bugged him to no end, “What else would I get my favourite son?”
“I’m your only son.”
Remy only winked and made his way out of the room, with Virgil trailing behind.
Down the hall and to the left, Virgil noted for the billionth time through force of habit, as they arrived in the main living area. The living room, otherwise known as Remy’s domain, was to the right. The dining hall was directly in front of the end of the hallway. The kitchen and front door to the left, as per Virgil’s repetitive observations. He didn’t need to keep track of these things anymore. He’s been in the same house for four years, he knew the layout very well by now, but you know, old habits die hard and all that jazz.
Emile, Virgil’s other dad, was cooking breakfast. Though, cooking was a strong word for what he was doing. He was making toast and cereal.
Virgil sat down at his usual spot at the table and began on his cereal, knowing the toast would take another minute or two.
“Are you how?” Emile greeted with a bright smile, “Sleep well?”
“Only woke up twice,” Virgil replied, returning the smile, “Which I think is an improvement.”
Emile nodded briefly, but Virgil could still see the worry in his eyes. He couldn’t blame him though, Virgil and sleep weren’t usually a happy combination, and he still struggled to get anything close to a full night’s sleep in their home, even after all his time here.
Remy slipped into the kitchen, throwing an arm around his husband, and soulmate “What’s cooking, good looking?”
“Toast,” Emile replied with his usual grin, then an even brighter expression took over his features and Virgil braced himself, “So! I was thinking we could watch this new show, Amphibia together tonight! One of my clients is obsessed and I need to know all of their references.”
Remy laughed, and nodded, “Alright, but remember it's going to be a school night for Virgil now. First day back and all that.”
“Oh no!” Emile nearly wailed, “It is! I forgot!”
Virgil snorted, and looked up at his parents, “It’s fine. I can make it.”
“No, no, you don’t get enough sleep as it is, mister” Emile replied only half reprimanding, “We’ll have to wait until Friday. Ugh, school! Why!”
“Isn’t that my line?” Virgil grinned.
Emile smiled back, “It might be.”
Remy, seemingly satisfied with himself and his troublemaking, sat down at the table and waited for his own breakfast. Even though everyone in the house knew he was the better cook, everyone in the house also knew that it made Emile happy when he got to make anything for them, and Virgil was sure that Remy would eat burnt AND soggy toast and pretend to enjoy it if it made Emile happy.
They were fucking saps, the lot of them. And yet, Virgil quietly hoped that he would be in love like that when he finally met his soulmate.
If you have one, a thought growled. Ok, great, thanks, he thought back sarcastically.
“So, excited to go back to school, Virgil?” Emile asked, sliding plates of toast to each of them and joining them at the table.
Virgil looked up at his father with the closest thing to a combination of both a death glare and a pleading look, “Ha ha. Very funny. Yes, I’m very much looking forward to being surrounded by people again as part of my daily life. It’s going to be great.”
“Gurl, what has your father said about positive attitudes?” Remy asked between bites of the piece of toast he had smothered in jam.
“That I should like, have one, and stuff,” he mumbled into his cereal.
“It’s ok that you’re not looking forward to the whole experience Virgil, school is pretty tough. Can you tell me one thing you’re looking forward to doing as part of it, at least?” Emile asked.
Virgil was silent for a while, pushing his cereal around the bowel and thinking.
“I guess I’m looking forward to seeing Patton every day again, instead of just texting him and meeting up,” he said at last.
Remy and Emile both smiled at that.
“Good! Speaking of Patton, when is he coming over again Virgil, we miss our second son,” Emile immediately jumped at the opportunity to ask.
“He’s busy helping his mum and stuff, just like every other time you’ve asked me this holidays,” Virgil sighed.
“Who taught you that kind of sass, Virgil?” Remy asked, looking at him over the top of the dumb sunglasses he won’t take off.
Virgil gave him the single most deadpan look he’s ever managed, but Remy only grins back.
The conversation drifts after that, along with Virgil’s attention. He enjoys mornings like this with his dads, being able to listen to them talk about whatever, without having to pay too much attention to what’s actually being said, and just kind of wake up slowly.
It isn’t long, however, before he has to leave the table, double and triple-check his bag, and head to school. He doesn't want to. It’s loud, there’s too many people, too much stress and- well, just too much everything. And this year wasn’t going to be any better. Senior year, same shit as every other year but with the added bonus pressure that this is the last one, and his choices count now.
He waited out the front of the school, checking his phone and trying not to look too shifty as most other students went straight through.
“There you are, you sneaky Vixen! Did you think you could slip past me on the first day back?” Patton grinned as he crushed Virgil into a hug.
“Opposite, actually. We agreed to meet here. Over text. Yesterday,” Virgil wheezed from the force of Patton’s hug.
“Well, I’m sorry! It’s just been so long since I’ve seen you!” Patton finally let him go.
“I saw you last week, and you have a standing invitation to visit my house. Pat, this is not that big a deal.”
“Oh, hush you, let me be excited!”
As they finally walked inside along with everyone else, Patton chattering happily in his ear, and smiling widely, Virgil made a prediction. Well, two predictions actually, and they went something like this: One, Patton was going to be the only good thing about the day, and two, everything else was going to range from bearably boring to straight-up awful.
Homeroom was the first example of straight-up awful. The teacher despised Virgil specifically, but then again, it went both ways. Attitude problems and anxiety meant he ranged from ignoring the teacher entirely, or if he was feeling up to it, sassing her, which was not something that usually got you in a teacher’s good books. At least he shared the class with Patton.
History was fine, well, that was one word for it. Boring, and uneventful were more accurate ones. The teacher droned on, and the clock ticked at a snail’s pace. At least the class wasn’t overwhelming, he supposed.
Then there was English.
Now, Virgil was actually kind of looking forward to English, in fact it was his favourite subject. The teacher was bubbly and excitable, to say the least, but Mr Terrence was always sure to keep the content open-ended.
Unlike most teachers, he welcomed alternate interpretations of what they covered, from dark and gritty to overly romanticised and fickle. As long as you could back up what you were saying he didn’t mind what you actually said. Well, as long as it wasn’t something that could get you sent to the counselor, because he did also do that when he was concerned about students. So overall, Virgil considered himself lucky to have him as a teacher for two years in a row.
He also considered himself lucky that their first topic this year would be Shakespeare. Virgil liked Shakespeare. He wasn’t certain why half the time. Maybe it was the sinister themes to the stories, or the dick jokes, maybe it was how easily you could read queer representations into it, especially with the all the plotlines that dealt with same-gendered soulmates.
Whatever it was, Virgil liked it. He liked Shakespeare.
“Macbeth was clearly about the inevitability of fate, everyone that argues that it’s about ambition and human nature are nihilists who don’t see the good in the world.”
He did not, however, like his classmates. Reason number one being statements like that.
He didn’t like more than a few of the other people in his class, but he had already figured that out in years prior, and gotten very used to disliking them. Now there was someone new, catching the class’ attention with his controversial statements.
Virgil could see that the guy was clearly new, and a perfect example of everything he gave a firm ‘no’ in the likeability collum.
From his put-together style, perfect hair and ripped jeans to his red, and white jacket with gold cuffs, this boy oozed ‘popular’ energy. Virgil felt a scowl cross his features just thinking about it.
The moment he’d seen… all that… Virgil had already known he wouldn’t like him. Hate at first sight if you will.
On top of that, he had opened his mouth because you know, class discussions about the meaning of the plays, and Virgil realised that he somehow got worse.
“What are you even talking about?” Virgil found himself arguing before he could stop it, “Macbeth is clearly about ambition and power, not to mention a warning against reaching above your station, like consider your historical context. If Shakespeare was going to make a commentary on inevitability then he would have had soul bonds actually play a role in the plot. In fact, the fact that Lady Macbeth and Macbeth weren’t soulmates supports the idea that the play is about choices rather than inevitability.”
English was usually the class he felt comfortable speaking up in, but it didn’t usually result in the whole class staring at him. They don’t usually care. Fuck, they must like this new kid already, and he’d just basically attacked him before he even knew his name.
The guy was staring at him, wide-eyed, as though he really hadn’t expected to be challenged.
“That’s a very interesting analysis Virgil,” Mr Terrence said, smiling, “Roman, do you have a refute?”
Oh FUCK, Mr Terrence was going to make them debate it. He usually liked this part of his classes- it was a chance to argue his points without it being a ‘presentation’ and with less repercussions if he was right and someone else looked stupid. Today, though, he just knew that it would not end well.
Roman, it seemed the guy’s name was, looked a little shocked both at what Virgil had said and at Mr Terrance enabling the argument.
“Well, uh,” He stumbled for a moment, but then the shining confidence that he seemed to just radiate clicked back into place, “Well, I didn’t expect anything less from the guy who looks like his ringtone is still set to “Welcome to the Black Parade”, but that doesn't mean you’re right! The fact that soulmates aren’t a big thing in Macbeth is because it’s a tragedy, not because of the lack of fate thing. It's a significant trend in all his tragedies, except for Romeo and Juliet. The popular theory here is of course that he was saying that ignoring your soulmate and choosing someone else is fated to make an unhealthy relationship and unhappy lives, like Macbeth and Lady Macbeth.  ”
Oh, so he actually knew some things about the play. That also didn’t mean he was right.
Mr Terrance said nothing, looking at Virgil, waiting for his response. Great.
“That's one of the possible theories, sure. But it’s just that, a theory. It doesn't mean you're right either. He uses soulmates just like any other literary device in his plays, and you said yourself, Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy despite the fact they were soulmates. And in twelfth night, Viola and Olivia were soulmates, but they couldn’t be together because that wasn’t how soulmates worked then, and you know, homophobia, so they could only be friends, and that was still considered a happy ending, so yeah, tell me how not ending up with your soulmate was always awful in his plays and not why Macbeth is about fate, one trick wonder,” Virgil argued, more passionately than he ever had in English before.
“Ok, fine then!” Roman jumped in before Mr Terrance could do anything to mediate, not that he seemed like he would. “If you need more evidence. The witches!”
Virgil waited for him to continue. He didn’t.
“Is that it? Is that your whole point, “The witches”? Damn, and I thought you might actually be worth debating...” Virgil sighed.
He got a disapproving look from Mr Terrance for that one, but he didn’t really care.
“Oh I’m sorry Mr Doom and Gloom, I thought that maybe you were smart enough to figure out what I meant by that, but if you need me to spell it out for you-” Roman started, all bravado and large gestures again, despite the look he was now getting from the teacher
“Oh can it Prince not-so-charming, I knew what you meant by saying that, I just thought you could bring up arguments that haven't been repeated over and over.  “Oh the witches represent fate” “no they were just manipulating him” and so on and so on. Forgive me if I thought you might just be able to manage something above the bare minimum,” Virgil snarked.
“I think that is quite enough,” said Mr Terrance, finally interrupting them with a look, “You have both made some very interesting points, but insulting each other is not the way to continue this debate. Instead, I would like both of you to put together a detailed list of evidence to support your argument for next week, which you can do in place of the standard homework, considering you clearly have a good understanding of the text already.”
Virgil scowled a little at Roman, but nodded. He wasn’t actually particularly upset. These debate assignments Mr Terrence gave out were actually quite fun most of the time, and far more enjoyable to him than the actual homework that covered plot and characters and all the basic stuff.
“Now,” Said Mr Terrence, addressing the rest of the class again, “Let’s move on.”
~~~~
tags :P @jellopuffs​
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