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#if i was better at actually finishing any of the fic that bounces around in my brain
luthwhore · 10 months
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You’ve talked before about similarities between Kon and the version of Lex from Smallville, so I was just wondering if you could elaborate more on that? While I have mixed feelings on Kon and the Clex test tube baby retcon, I do ultimately enjoy the idea that Kon takes after Clark and Lex without meaning to do so.
sure! as i'm sure you've gathered i love talking about lex soooo... 😅
to preface, it probably goes without saying, but when i say kon has a lot in common with lex, I'm talking specifically about the original version. as much as i love the concept of kon being a........."binary clone", as DC insists on calling it (insert "sure jan.gif" here), the black tee era feels almost unrecognizable as the same character at points.
but lex in the early seasons of smallville has a certain reckless disregard for his own well-being that kon also shares, and kon is also impulsive in a way that clark isn't but lex -- especially in his younger years -- is. (tbh i think you can make a strong case for both having bipolar disorder, but then we're just getting into my personal headcanons.)
kon is very flirtatious, and cocky, and a little bit vain, all of which are traits that he has in common with lex.
i also like the idea of kon looking a little like lex, and while you can argue that kon is so much shorter and leaner than clark because he's perpetually stuck as a teenager, i like to think part of it is him taking after lex a little bit. i am a "green eyes kon" truther til the end.
i think the biggest similarity the two have, though, is -- ironically -- some of their specific forms of parental trauma. post-crisis/pre-flashpoint lex was...kind of a nightmare every time he and kon interacted, unfortunately. it's not really a secret that smallville drew a lot from post-crisis lex for lionel's characterization and backstory, so (probably on accident, lbr, because i don't think geoff johns was thinking about it that deeply) you kind of end up with a narrative of lex perpetuating the same kind of abuse that he went through at the same age. given smallville lex's intense fear of becoming his father, there's something potentially really tragic there, to me.
i think, in the hands of a writer who was actually interested in exploring it, you could spin a pretty compelling narrative about cycles of abuse and lex either perpetuating or making an active effort to break that cycle -- regardless of which side of things you're inclined to come down on -- but unfortunately, geoff johns didn't seem that interested in digging into lex's psyche when he was writing kon.
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ladadiida · 8 months
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𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
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𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 as much as you wanted to stay by his side, you couldn't bear the thought of watching him fall in love with other women while you're stuck at the kitchen washing dishes and measuring ingredients. so you dreamt of leaving, of traveling to different islands to share your lovely songs and tunes; but the more your desire to leave grows, the more sanji finds himself drowning in your warmth.
or,
you and sanji over the years, wherein five times you tried to leave him and the one time you finally did, despite his refusal to let you go.
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 musician reader, 5 + 1 things, pining, unrequited love, not actually unrequited love, heavy (kind of) angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 HERE IT IS! the response to the sneak peek was crazy, and so i rushed to get this done. i only watched the live action so beware of minor mistakes if you ever saw one. english is also not my first language and you are welcome to correct me anytime for any grammatical errors. title is a lyric from the last time by taylor swift ft. gary lightbody. this fic is also posted in ao3 with its full summary and WITH A BONUS CHAPTER. enjoy reading!
𝐰𝐜 11.3k
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"There you are."
Your soapy, wet hands almost dropped the ceramic plate you were currently washing in the dirty kitchen sink as soon as you heard a familiar smooth and honeyed voice. Abruptly turning off the sink so that the sound of his approaching footsteps were clear to your ears, you wiped the sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand before turning your body towards him.
He was carrying a stack of plates, a fresh batch to add to the pile you had to wash, with an obnoxious yet handsome smile plastered on his lips. You took a deep breath to calm the growing irritation at the bottom of your stomach, reminding yourself that this was your job and you only had a couple of hours to endure until you're free to lock yourself up in your bedroom. You were particularly looking forward to writing today, and the thought of finishing the lyrics to your new song tonight slightly eased your mood. Accepting your fate, you pointed to the remaining space beside the sink.
"Place it there." You told him, albeit begrudgingly as you turn on the sink again and pour more soap on the battered sponge.
You took a mental note to ask Zeff later about buying new sponges, and if you were lucky to catch him in a good mood, you'll put in a request to get the sink fixed and cleaned. Your eyes scanned over the grime and rust around the area. If you were going to spend the rest of your life washing dishes, then you might as well get a proper kitchen sink to do so.
An amused laugh fell out of the golden haired man you grew up with, surprised at your compliance to do the job you hated. The sound nearly sent your poor heart into a dizzying whirlwind of little nuisances called emotions. "What a hardworking woman."
"I could say the same to you. It seems like you have a new record today." You said while you splashed dirtied bowls with soap water, smiling at him teasingly, "Thought you would've been kicked out of the line by now."
"The old man just can't help but to accept the fact that I am a greater cook than him." He smirked, wiping a knife with a dish cloth. Trying not to roll your eyes, you shook your head at his usual display of arrogance, yet you can't help but to grin as you began to hear scratching sounds against the floors.
"Then you better get those chopped carrots ready." You replied, and when you got to finish your sentence, the doors to the kitchen swung open, revealing the head chef.
Zeff's cold and steely eyes immediately landed on the blond. He walked towards him with a fast pace despite only having one leg, his braided mustache bouncing in each step.
"Aye, aye, aye. Why haven't you started on the carrots yet, little eggplant? Can you get any slower?" He scolded, loud enough for the whole staff to hear, but none of them even flinched. You returned back to your plates and glasses, smiling softly. This was part of your routine everyday: to listen in their silly arguments.
However, before the younger chef can reply, you butted in, "Sanji fetched some of the plates for me. Since there's a lunch rush, I couldn't leave the kitchen."
Zeff let out a low hum. You couldn't even see Sanji's face, but you knew him well enough to know that he was smiling triumphantly, knowing that he won this time. After a few minutes of contemplating, the head chef clicked his tongue. "Don't defend him, little lass. But I'll let it slip this time. What are you waiting for, then? Start cutting them!"
"Yes, chef." Sanji answered in a jovial manner, placing the carrots on a chopping board.
Twisting the faucet lever so that the water flow from the sink is gentle and quiet, you then paid attention to their little banters every now and then. You brought up a wine glass and positioned it by your side to try to get a glimpse of the two most important men in your life. Through their reflection on the glass, you can see Zeff hunching over Sanji's knifework, nodding every time the vegetables were correctly sliced.
On the other hand, Sanji was unbothered by the head chef's observations and continued to cut the ingredients calmly. Some of the strands in his hair fell down on one side of his face, covering an eye, and most people would think that it was an unusual way of styling hair; yet it was one thing out of many that you loved the most about him.
You accepted it years ago.
You accepted the fact that you somehow fell in love with Sanji Vinsmoke along your weird journey of working in a sea restaurant full of former pirates and making music while at it. How the pesky feelings grew and wrapped themselves around your aching heart, you didn't know. Maybe it was when he learned to cook your favorite food and gave it to you afterwards, or the way his crystal blue eyes reminded you of snowflakes every winter.
Or maybe it was when he pulled your hair out of jealousy the moment he learned that Zeff would be taking in another child in his care, but brushed it and even braided it after the latter cleared the misunderstanding. Maybe it was when he supported you in your dreams and told you they weren't silly, maybe it was when he fought off drunk men that were trying to hit on you. Or maybe it was the way his voice would drop an octave lower whenever he asks you for a favor. The list could go on and on and you still wouldn't know the reason why. It doesn't matter anyway. You tripped, you fell, and now you're pining.
Drying off the last of the plates, you washed your own hands after and patted them dry on your skirt. You were the last one to leave the kitchen, the other staff already back in their quarters after a long, exhausting day of cooking. You fixed the signature blue bandana tied in your hair then went on your way towards the upper deck.
You weren't blessed with a talent in cooking, so you offered to do chores instead. Washing the dishes, cleaning the restaurant, and doing the laundry were few of the things you do in the Baratie. You can't say that you enjoy it, but you were beyond grateful that Zeff gave you a chance despite his opposition to let a woman work inside his restaurant.
As you were about to go to the newly laundered clothes you hung on a thin wire earlier that morning, you heard two voices speaking. You also smelled cigarette smoke wafting through the air, and you only knew one person who could be smoking at this hour. Your breath hitched in anticipation.
"You bringing a woman to your bed again, Sanji?" The other person asked playfully, but there was a hint of disbelief in his voice. You carefully took a peek so you won't accidentally reveal yourself and be accused of eavesdropping. Two people came into view with their backs facing you.
"Now, what are you talking about, Patty? I am a gentleman. I only had a nice chat with the lovely lady and escorted her back to her ship." Sanji interjected, a cigarette hanging on his lips.
Patty huffed. "I didn't know that chatting included kiss marks on jawlines."
This caused Sanji to laugh and say, "Not my fault she was charmed by my food."
"The boss man ain't gonna like it when he finds out about this."
"He's not gonna find out." Sanji assured him, wiping off the said kiss mark on his jaw. You stared at him as he did so, and you pitied the woman who planted that kiss, knowing she was just one of the many beautiful ladies Sanji had flirted with before. However, a tinge of pain in your chest said otherwise, taunting you that it was not pity you're feeling, but foul jealousy.
"Why don't you look for more decent women, eh? How about 'little lass' for a change?" Patty suddenly suggested.
It was like someone had hit your stomach with one of the metal pans in the kitchen with the way it lurched in surprise and nervousness. Your heartbeat started to quicken the longer you waited for his response, making your grip on your skirt tighter. In moments like these, you allowed yourself to hope, to wish that he saw something in you and that he finds you beautiful and lovely enough to be the person standing by his side.
But his answer made all that hope crumble down into nothing but dust.
"I don't see her that way." Sanji said after a long stretch of silence, taking a long drag from the cigarette then releasing the smoke in a single breath.
Ah.
You blinked repeatedly, trying to keep the tears from forming. It's always been like this, so why can't you get used to it? Taking a deep breath, you gulped away the knot forming in your throat and decided to leave. You can grab the clothes later.
"You're too kind for him." Someone behind you spoke, making you jump and tense up. Turning around, you saw Zeff looking at you with an unreadable emotion in his eyes and his hands on his hips, almost like he knew your secret. Of course he does. He always sees everything.
You stumbled on your words. "Sir?"
"That boy is always up to something." He began, switching his attention to Sanji. "One minute he's stubbornly immature in the kitchen, and the next he'll be a thirsty man staring at women like they're liquid booze."
Clearing your throat, you forced a smile.
"Well, he can be a lot sometimes." You agreed, remembering the days when the two of you would fight over irrelevant matters. Then you chuckled and continued, "But he's kind. He's gentle, and lovely, like a freshly made poem you keep repeating in your head. But then he's also confusing, hot-headed, and reckless. He's like the sea, isn't he? Calm yet wrapped with mystery, dangerous yet beautiful..."
You trailed off, an unbearable heat rising up your cheeks and neck once you slowly began to realize that you just ranted out your feelings to the head chef. You glanced at him with wide eyes, preparing to see a disgusted look on his face; however, Zeff didn't appear to be repulsed by your little speech. In fact, the corners of his lips were slightly quirked up.
"But I cannot swim. If I were to drown, he wouldn't save me." You quickly added, hoping to shut down the topic.
He sighed. "You will meet someone who deserves you as much as you deserve them, little lass." He simply said. He then laid his hand out, and on his palm was a little box poorly tied with a ribbon. "Here, for you."
Altnough you were a bit confused at the random gift, you accepted it and cradled the box to your chest. "I'll be okay, Zeff." You insisted, grinning cheekily. "When I become famous, I'll sing my songs here in Baratie, and people would flood the restaurant to hear my singing. And to eat your food too, of course."
The head chef nodded, relief flooding his expression. "I look forward to that." He said while awkwardly returning your smile.
That night, when you were sure that everyone in the Baratie was asleep, you opened the loose floorboard on the floors of your bedroom and grabbed the wooden box you kept hidden for a long time now. You opened the lid and began counting the Berry you saved for the past few months.
Tomorrow was the perfect day to leave.
You just can't stay here. Yes, you had a roof over your head, delicious food to eat everyday, and clean clothes to wear but you were so miserable. This wasn't the life you wanted. You wish to go out there, sing your heart out, and fall in love with someone who actually loves you back.
A knock on your door made you freeze. You held your breath as the person on the other side continued to knock a few more times. "You awake?"
Pain surged through your veins, your chest twisting in agony. Sanji.
"You didn't come down for dinner. I guess you're too tired, hmm?" He said, his muffled voice gentle, and the sound almost prompted you to stand up and open the door for him. But you dug your fingernails in your palms and resisted, because you can't just let this opportunity pass by.
You heard a brief clinking sound before Sanji spoke again, "Sweet dreams, ange."
Once his footsteps faded away, you cautiously moved towards your door and opened it as quietly as you can. There, on the floor, was a small plate with a slice of your favorite desert: angel's food cake, topped with fresh cream and strawberries.
You bent down and saw a note beside the plate. And when you got to read the contents of the note, you burst into tears and sobs that wracked down your entire body.
Happy Birthday
— S.
You ate the cake with tears silently falling down your cheeks, and that was the first time you failed to leave Sanji Vinsmoke.
⸻ • ⸻
Today was the day, and you won't allow anyone to ruin it for you.
You had saved enough Berries to travel around the world and sustain yourself for the upcoming months. Your notebook containing the lyrics of the songs you wrote laid open on top of your bed as you spent all night revising them while planning out an itinerary. Then you'll find a place to settle in, a stable job that required doing what you loved the most, and overall just be peaceful and free from pirates and chefs and pirate chefs. It was perfect.
Folded clothes surrounded you everywhere, ready to be packed in your bags. Once you finished stuffing them all in, you grabbed your treasured instrument, the one thing you couldn't live without: your guitar, which has been with you since you were a little child. It was given by your mother and you've been attached to it ever since.
It has scratches all over its wooden surface, and the strings needed some fixing occassionally, but you wouldn't trade it for the greatest treasures in the world. You ran your fingers over it, suddenly feeling like it was lacking something. Seeing the paint chipping off at the corners, you figured that it needed a little color.  You'll need lacquer, and paint if you managed to find some.
You set the guitar aside and left your bedroom to head downstairs to the kitchen. As you were about to push the doors open, a loud, angry shout made you stop in your tracks.
"I won't ever become a pathetic waiter for you!" Sanji's thunderous yells can be heard from outside. Your shoulders tensed up. It was a good thing that brunch was over and all the customers had left.
Zeff's own furious voice followed, "Leave then, for all I care! You can do anything you want, but don't you ever serve one of your shit dishes in my kitchen!"
A frown settled on your face. Their fights were a normal occurrence to you, but this one sounded more grave than usual. Crossing your arms, you stepped in closer to the entrance and hesitated whether you should go in or not. Before you could make a decision, Zeff beat you to it by pushing the doors open, rage emanating from his figure as he ignored and walked past you.
Without hesitation this time, you entered the kitchen, greeted by the sight of Sanji bowing over the counter, breathing heavily, his face covered with his hair. He didn't move an inch even as you approached him, the clacking of the heels in your boots echoing throughout the room.
Both of you were silent as you rummaged through cabinets, trying to find lacquer to cover your guitar with, while he tried his best to calm himself down after his outburst. Many cupboards later, you finally found a small can of used up lacquer, but as you started to reach for it, your hand completely stopped mid-air.
You looked over your shoulder, and found Sanji already recovered from the argument seeing that he was on the move again, preparing a cut of beef tenderloin and other ingredients he needed for tonight's dinner.
Slowly, you closed the cupboard and went closer to him. He still refused to look at you. And so you watched him place a bag of flour on the countertop, slices of cold butter, and a variety of spice bottles to season the meat with.
Sanji began to wrap twine around the beef tenderloin. You sighed, and before you could stop yourself, you grabbed a bowl and decided to help him. Your guitar can wait.
It was rare for you to cook inside the kitchen, having so little knowledge about food and how they were prepared, but you knew this recipe well. You poured two cups of flour through the sifter, followed by placing heaps of the cold butter in the mixture.
The moment you started to mix the dough for the puff pastry, Sanji quickly pointed out in a monotone voice, "You're adding too much butter."
You raised your head and glanced at him, his attention now on the meat he was searing on a skillet. You smiled, glad that he was speaking again.
"You're beginning to sound like the old man himself." You joked lightly.
His jaw clenched. "Don't compare me to that shitty geezer."
In a softer voice, you asked, "What happened?"
"The usual." He replied curtly. "Didn't approve of my dishes."
You perked up upon hearing about a dish he made himself. Sanji was talented when it comes to creating his own recipes, and sometimes, you would be the person he chooses to test them out. Every time he lets you taste them, your chest would feel warm and you wouldn't be able to sleep for days because you'll keep replaying it in your head. "What did you make this time?"
"It doesn't matter. He'll never agree to any of them."
"Maybe I can—"
"Drop it. Don't poke your nose in things you're not involved." Sanji cut you off, his hardened gaze meeting your concerned stare. You only blinked at him, straightening up.
"I see." You muttered, eyes landing on the bag of flour. You looked at him, then at the flour, then back at him. A smile began to form on your lips as a devious plan formulated itself in your brain. Sticking your hand inside the bag of flour, you took a fistful of the pillowy powder and threw it straight into his face.
Sanji jumped back, flinching and closing his eyes when some of the flour's particles managed to enter them. His jaw dropped open in surprise, hands quickly removing themselves from the skillet's handle to dust off the flour that rested on his now white hair. You tried to stifle a laugh as you watched him struggle getting the flour out.
Once he managed to clean himself, he stared straight at you and said in the calmest way possible, even if you knew deep inside that he was fuming, "What was that for?"
A high-pitched snort left your mouth. You covered it to prevent yourself from laughing.
You cleared your throat and smiled at him innocently. "Am I involved now?"
His piercing blue eyes then started to sparkle with mirth, amusement replacing the vexation previously swimming in them. He also looked to be trying to push down a smile, and that made your heart skip a beat. "You're insufferable."
He reached for the bag of flour. You squeaked and took off running, trying to escape from his attack, but he still managed to throw a small amount on you. Giggling, you ran the opposite direction to confuse him, and yet he caught up with you, throwing another round of flour. This time, it hit your cheeks, making you laugh loudly. He laughed along, pointing a finger at you because you probably looked crazy at the moment.
You tried to take the bag of flour away from him, but he just took it an as opportunity to catch your arm and grip it firmly. He pulled you into his chest, caging you completely.
With your cheeks warm and your breaths short, you tilted your head up and looked at him, noticing the way that you were both covered in flour; and not only that, you also noticed the short distance between your bodies and how your noses were almost touching. His pupils were dilated, black dominating the alluring blue shade that kept haunting your dreams. You drank in the attention he was giving you, the breathing coming out from his soft lips, and the comfortable silence that wrapped around the both of you like a safe little bubble.
"Caught you." Sanji muttered, voice deeper and huskier, making you let out a quiet sigh. His arms snaked around your waist as he leaned in closer. A million questions started to run inside your head, begging to know what this situation was and how you got into it. "Nowhere to run now, darling."
A slamming of doors shattered the secret moment you shared, and you immediately pulled away from each other. You pushed down your disappointment and hid it in the secret crevice in your heart as the two of you faced your intruder.
Zeff observed your flour-laden figures, his thick eyebrows scrunched together in irritation. He then demanded, voice seething and dripping with anger, "What in the hell are you two little brats doing?"
Sanji blurted out in defense, "Zeff, we—she was the one who started it!"
"And you went along with it!" You accused incredulously, grinning from ear-to-ear. Sanji grinned back, shaking his head and biting his lower lip.
"Oh, shut up before I stitch your mouths! Just by looking at you two, I already know that you snot-nosed shits are both at fault!" Zeff shouted, clicking his tongue at the sight of the half emptied flour. "Wasted them good flour for your childish fights. You're even worse than fatwits. Get out and clean the toilets!"
"Not the shitty toilets!" Sanji groaned, and you couldn't blame him for it. The bathroom area smelled revolting and the floors were always wet for some reason.
"I don't wanna hear complaints from you when you've dirtied my kitchen! Off you go!" Zeff dismissed, and you can't help but to laugh again when you saw Sanji pout like a little kid.
The head chef watched the two of you leave the kitchen together while giggling and exchanging fond looks. Patty, who also saw the whole situation unfold, suddenly appeared beside him, snickering, "I can already hear the wedding bells ringing."
Zeff took a deep, tired breath.
"Oh, they're ringing alright."
You cleaned and scrubbed the toilets the entire afternoon with the man you're in love with, flushing your plans down the drain and forgetting all about them, and that was the second time you failed to leave Sanji Vinsmoke.
⸻ • ⸻
You didn't know how you ended up in a ship full of pirates.
Well, maybe you knew. A little. But it wasn't supposed to be like this.
Your knuckles were beginning to turn white with how tight you were clenching them. A mix of emotions swirled around in your chest, namely confusion, impatience, and hesitation, pondering about whether you should be irritated at yourself or at Sanji.
The opportunity was there, handed to you like a steak on a golden platter, or a miracle that suddenly fell from the sky. The day you met Luffy and his strange pirate crew was the day you immediately realized that he was the key to your exit from the Baratie. He was friendly; a good pirate, according to his own words, so you figured he would allow you to tag along for a while until you find an island to get off to. You just had to ask for his permission and wait for his reply.
Luffy agreed. And you were ecstatic. You were finally going to leave Sanji Vinsmoke and your pathetic, unrequited feelings behind.
Or so you thought.
You watched in horror as he followed you when you boarded the Going Merry, also carrying a bag of his own. He said something along the lines of Luffy needing a cook for the journey to the Grand Line but you couldn't care less. You got here first. Why was he here?
So here you were, sitting in a corner, lonelier than ever and regretting your life decisions. You watched Luffy and his friends celebrate after defeating the pirate Arlong and saving Coco Village from his inhuman hold over its people, but Sanji and the beautiful orange haired Nami were nowhere in sight.
The thought of them being gone together at the same time left a bitter aftertaste on your tongue.
Nami. The first time you laid eyes on her, ethereal was the word that came up to your mind. With soft deep saffron locks that framed her small face and a wide blue eyed gaze, she would have the cruelest of men begging for mercy and affection at her feet.
Unfortunately, Sanji was one of those men.
Fuck, you cursed mentally, rubbing your face with your hands to try and forget about the times he flirted with her and the moments he wouldn't stop talking about her or kept asking about her favorite food or dessert or if she's into blonds. Your already battered heart doesn't need the usual reminder that he'll never see you that way, that you weren't going to experience his sweet words and his loving gazes.
You took a sharp breath. It's okay, you tell yourself over and over again until they were buried in your heart. They'll make a great pair, Sanji the cook and Nami the thief. A strong man with an equally strong woman. Yes. That makes sense.
You'll leave soon anyway, and you'll no longer have to worry about seeing them or how they were going to end up together.
And yet you can't help but to think about the things that could've been if you were the one he was in love with instead.
You were crossing your arms and hugging yourself as the crisp afternoon air was getting chilly when a hand gripping a shot glass filled with amber liquid appeared in front of you. Looking up, you saw Luffy smiling widely at you, waving the glass encouragingly.
"Come on, just one drink! Usopp poured this for you!" The captain exclaimed heartily, obviously trying to uplift your spirits and to make you feel welcomed in his crew, even though you did nothing but to guard the Going Merry while they were fighting for their lives.
You shook your head and smiled politely. "No, I don't drink. Sorry."
Luffy's smile faltered, but he recovered quickly. He nodded, setting the glass down on top of a barrel. "Well, okay." He said, then turned to Usopp, who was currently downing a whole bottle of whiskey. "Hey, where's Nami?"
"Oh, she's with the cook," Usopp replied cheekily, wiping his mouth after drinking. There was a teasing tone in his voice as he continued, "Someone's getting a boyfriend tonight!"
With that said, you reached for the shot glass that Luffy was offering you earlier, grabbed it swiftly, and poured the whole thing down your throat. The whiskey tasted unfamiliar, and it burned and made you dizzy at first taste, but it doesn't matter; as long as it can make you forget just for a little while, you were willing to drink more of the horrible beverage.
Zoro, the green haired swordsman and the captain's first mate, stared at you as if you had lost your mind, but a tinge of concern was visibly written on his face. "Woah, slow down." He warned sternly.
"I thought you didn't drink." Was all Luffy said, blinking in confusion. You chuckled tiredly.
"Now I do."
Drink after drink, glass after glass. You lost count on how many times Usopp poured whiskey for you, or how many times Zoro shook his head in disbelief. Luffy was the same old happy-go-lucky captain throughout the disaster that was starting to brew inside you, turning your brain into mush. You can barely lift your head or your fingers as you asked for another shot in an incoherent voice. Luckily, Usopp was still able to understand you, tipping the whiskey bottle yet again towards your glass.
You started to raise the glass to your lips, eager to just get severely drunk and be over with it already. However, you suddenly felt strong fingers wrap around your wrist to stop you from drinking; and when you caught sight of a familiar silver ring with Baratie's jolly roger inlaid upon it, you didn't need to look up to know who it was.
Sanji's voice was unnervingly calm as he questioned the crew, but the slight shake in his words lets you know otherwise. "Which one of you allowed her to drink?"
"No one. She took the glass and made the decision herself." Zoro drawled, challenging the chef, "The last time I checked, waiter, you were supposed to be the one responsible for her."
Sanji ignored him and turned his attention to you. He stole the shot glass away from you, then kneeled and held your hands comfortingly, smiling. "Come on, ange. It's time for you to rest now." He said quietly, yet loud enough for only you to hear.
You stubbornly shook your head repeatedly and whined loudly. "No! Don't touch me!" You cried, prying your hands away from his, "I don't like you...!"
Zoro huffed in amusement at your declaration. Sanji glared at him for a short second before looking at you again. This time, he stood and gently placed his arms under your shoulders to raise you up. Once you were standing on your feet, he swept you up and carried you bridal style with ease. Another whine escaped your lips.
"Put me down! I want another drink, please, just one more!" You pleaded while throwing weak punches on his chest. Sanji only smiled and began to lead you towards the sleeping quarters. You continued to thrash in his arms as he walked slowly and in small steps so he wouldn't drop you.
Sanji carefully set you down on your hammock. "No drinks for you until you actually learn how to take them." He told you, tucking a stray piece of your hair behind your ear. His thumb caressed the soft skin of your cheek and rubbed it in circles, noting how fast you were heating up due to the alcohol. You pouted.
"Pretty please, Sanji...please..."
He chuckled, staring at you intensely. "Maybe some other time, ange."
You went quiet, staring back at him with half-lidded eyes. Then, you crossed your arms like a child and asked, "Why do you keep calling me that?"
Sanji raised a brow. "Call you what? Ange?"
You nodded. "I don't like it."
He began to smile, the dimples on his cheeks appearing. You briefly wondered if he'd allow you to poke and feel them. "Why?"
"I don't know what it means. Is it an insult?" You wondered aloud, your eyes widening in curiosity.
A hearty and warm laugh came out from Sanji, his eyes forming half-moons as he cackled at your words like they were the biggest joke he heard in his entire life, "Oh, my dear girl, how could I possibly insult you?" He managed to speak between laughs, "It means angel. You're an angel, to me at least. My angel."
Oh.
Your lips parted in surprise. Blinking, you simply said, "You're not Sanji."
He's not Sanji. He wouldn't call you angel; you're not even sure if he found you beautiful or attractive. You wear the same old tattered dresses that Zeff bought for you a long time ago, and you didn't even bother to style your hair or put on face powder like all the other beautiful ladies do. You look nowhere near to an angel.
But Sanji only grinned. "I assure you, I am very much Sanji. The little brat who pulled your hair when we were barely eleven years old."
Your breath hitched at the thought of him remembering one of your fond memories in your childhood. "You remembered."
"Of course I remembered." He whispered, cupping your cheek one last time before he got ready to leave. He turned on his heel and was about to walk away when you spoke.
"Are you going to see her again?" You asked, and he quickly noticed how broken your voice sounded. Sanji faced you in concern and was taken aback with how deep you were frowning. He figured that you were just drunk and women tend to be different when they were intoxicated. You were no exception to that, it seemed.
"Hm?" He hummed, prompting you to elaborate further.
Tears began to form in the corners of your eyes. You shakily mumbled, "Nami...you're going to Nami, aren't you?"
Sanji froze, an icy cold rush filling up his body. A knot formed in his throat, and it continued to tighten the longer he stared at your face. You looked so hurt—like he just destroyed your beloved guitar into pieces. Your lower lips were trembling, your eyes glistening with unshed tears. For a moment, he couldn't find the courage to answer you, feeling like he could die at any second now if he answers your question.
But the answer was simple.
"Yes." He breathed out, a sharp pain stabbing through his heart.
And it only became worse when a teardrop finally rolled down your cheek. "Why?" You rasped, and Sanji didn't know that a single word can hurt this much.
He tried to give you a reassuring smile but awfully failed to do so. He started to explain, "We were just discussing something—"
"Why not me?"
Those three words coming out of your mouth felt like a final blow to his heart. He can feel himself bleed, drained of life and soul because of you and your words alone, and he let you. He let you kill him, he let you make him swim in his own guilt and he doesn't why, why, why.
More tears fell out of your angelic eyes, staining your cheeks with wet trails, and he tried to hold himself back from wiping them off. You choked out, "Why not me, Sanji? I have been asking myself that question for the past decade, and it eats my brain every night like some kind of plague, but I let it anyway. Because why? Why can't you just recognize me and appreciate me and see me? Why can't you go to me if you want to talk about your dreams, or what dish you're planning to create? Why do you have to seek solace in other women when you have me standing by your side everyday, me who is willing to listen to you and whatever you have to say?"
Angry, red rimmed eyes glared at him. Your hair strands stuck to your skin and framed your face as sweat began to form on your forehead. Teardrops clung to your wet eyelashes and your face was drenched like you just took a swim in the ocean. You were burning with fury and rage and want, struggling to breathe properly after your little rant, and Sanji thought you couldn't be more beautiful. You were so beautiful.
"Oh but I couldn't blame you for that. She's just so beautiful, so perfect, and so strong. She could give you anything you wanted and she could be anything that I never was." You hiccuped, smiling forcibly, "But in the end...I will still love you. I will always love you. I think."
You scooted closer to him, leaning in until your faces only had a few inches apart between them. You didn't notice how his lips were slightly parted in shock, nor his eyes that were starting to glisten with his own tears. "No matter where I flee to, or where I lay my heart on, or which skies I look at—it's always you, Sanji. It's always been you."
"I had been so selfless all these years, Sanji. So please, can you pretend to like me too, just for today, before I leave?" You whispered meekly, cupping his cheeks with both of your hands. Numb and completely speechless, Sanji simply gave you a single nod as a response.
You gingerly pressed your lips against his, and he immediately tasted the saltiness of your tears. But your lips were soft, as he expected from an angel like you. And so he couldn't help himself; he closed his eyes and delicately kissed you back, repeating your name in his mind like a sacred prayer and wishing to the stars above to not let the moment end.
However, you broke the kiss by losing consciousness and falling down on your hammock, knocked out and peacefully snoring.
Sanji spaced out, not moving from his position. No. It's not that he didn't want to move—he couldn't move. He couldn't feel anything except for the drumming of his heart, knocking on his chest desperately. His lips were still tingling and his ears and neck were warming up.
He gulped, loosening the collar of his shirt to cool himself down. He needed a cigarette. And a drink.
Scrambling to get up even with his trembling legs, Sanji managed to stand properly. He avoided your sleeping figure and decided to get out of the room as soon as possible. However, when he took a step forward, his foot touched a notebook lying on the floor.
Sanji bent down and took the notebook. He flipped it open, and after reading only the first page, he finally came into a conclusion.
Heartbroken, drunk, and unaware, you dozed off the rest of the afternoon. When nightfall settled on the azure horizon and dusk fell on the rough surface of the sea, you missed the chance to walk away from the crew yet again; and that was the third time you failed to leave Sanji Vinsmoke.
⸻ • ⸻
The next morning, you woke up feeling much better with only the memory of you drinking and crying yourself to sleep and nothing else. Everything was normal, and the crew began to make plans for their next adventure during breakfast.
Everything was normal, except for Sanji, who was quiet throughout the whole discussion. And of course, just like always, you were the only one who noticed his strange behavior. You tried to catch his eyes, but he looked at everywhere except you.
When he finally met your gaze, you gave him a soft smile, hoping he would smile back and everything was fine and you were just overthinking it.
He doesn't.
⸻ • ⸻
"Are you really going to leave?"
Taking your gaze away from the heart shaped cloud you spotted on the clear blue sky, you faced the person who asked the question you were dreading for some time now. Luffy was staring curiously at you, awaiting your answer. You can't help but to smile softly at the captain, whose kindness you have yet to repay.
"I believe we already talked about this, captain." You said, recalling your short conversation last night. He kept asking you if you were really sure about your decision while his eyes darted to a certain blond haired chef every time he shoots you the question. It was strange, and you felt even more suspicious when Sanji pretended not to hear your answer and even refused to glance your way.
Luffy put his hands on his hips. "You know, you're welcome to stay and be a part of my crew."
You crossed your arms, smile growing wide. "And what, pray tell, is my role? Sing battle songs and chant your names while you swing your gummy arms at pirates?" You joked playfully.
The young captain stroked his chin in deep thought, almost like he was considering your suggestion. "That's not a bad idea."
You bursted out laughing, shaking your head in disbelief, "I'll leave first thing in the morning. I told Nami to dock at a nearby island."
"What about Sanji?" He suddenly questioned, leaving you flabbergasted for a split second. You weren't prepared to hear Sanji's name after days of not talking to him properly.
Him not speaking with you wasn't a strange occurence at all; back when you were still in the Baratie, there would be days when Sanji wouldn't bother to acknowledge your presence and would completely ignore you. This would happen whenever he was extremely busy with his cooking or he had a disagreement with Zeff.
And it seemed like this was one of those days, seeing that he had been ignoring you for about a week now. Yes, you have been keeping count. Although he doesn't appear to be angry with you, the short-lived exchanges and the abrupt cut-offs before you could say anything deeply concerned you more than it should have.
You tried to rack your brains for reasons on why he was acting like this. Maybe Nami had rejected him for the hundredth time, or Zoro kept throwing insults in his direction—or maybe his cigarette packet had ran out. Maybe his kitchen knives weren't sharp anymore and he was struggling in the kitchen.
Should you ask him? Should you go to him and demand him to tell you what's wrong?
You pressed your lips together. It sounded like the worst idea you've thought of so far. You convinced yourself that Sanji was fine and he'd be back to normal in no time; there would no need to talk to him.
"What about him?" You faltered, chuckling to ease the tension in your body.
"You care for each other." Luffy explained bluntly and matter-of-factly, "What does he think about you leaving?"
A shaky sigh made its way out of your lips. How will you tell the captain that his cook has been avoiding you like you were some kind of rotten fish these days?
"I..." You stammered, gathering the courage to lie to Luffy even if you thought it would be the gravest sin you could commit, "He...agrees. Yeah. No need to worry."
Luffy grinned, but it didn't look normal at all. You winced in embarrassment. He knew that you were lying and was totally unconvinced.
Luckily, he didn't voice it out. He only nodded and said, "Great! Oh, I have an idea! Why don't you sing for us before we part ways? Think of it as a farewell party for the crew."
Hearing the pure and genuine excitement dripping from his voice, you couldn't turn him down. It was a good idea too, and now that you thought about it, you haven't performed for them yet. "Sure." You agreed, shrugging.
He raised his fist up in the air and cheered. You smiled, watching as he shouted for his crewmates' names to come down and listen to you sing. You prepared yourself for an impromptu performance, making sure that your guitar was properly tuned and your voice was clear enough to give you the best version of your singing. Sitting on top of a barrel, you faced your audience of four, all their eager eyes watching your every move.
As you struck the first chord to your song, you tried hard not to think that Sanji wasn't there to watch you sing the song you secretly dedicate to him.
In the kitchen, Sanji busied himself by plating the food that he'll serve to his fellow crew mates for dinner. He grabbed a large plate and placed the chicken drumsticks that his captain favored, but Luffy wasn't the one in his mind when he cooked those. Looking at the food, he wondered if you would love them too.
He shook his thoughts off and took the plate with him outside. Approaching the crew, his steps slowed down when he heard a familiar singing voice and a melodic tune of a guitar.
Sanji almost dropped the plate.
It was you. Of course it was you, you were the only one he knew who had a voice like that. It was you, and you were singing with a lovely smile painted on your sweet lips, the very same lips that touched his a few days ago, resulting in him not getting a wink of sleep every night. The beam of the sunset right behind you colored your hair in the different shades of the sky as the dulcet-filled notes you made echoed throughout the vast sea. For a moment, he was worried that you were going to attract ferocious sea beasts with your angelic voice and steal you away from him.
He could hear his blood pound in his ears the longer he observed you from afar. You looked happy. Happier than you were when you stayed with him and Zeff. His chest tightened, knowing that you leaving and go on adventures on your own was probably the best decision you could make, even if that means leaving him too.
You were finishing up your song by the time you saw Sanji standing behind Usopp, silently listening. He met your gaze, and for the first time ever, you couldn't read his mind. His expression was blank as you stared at each other, and as you opened your mouth to say something, he cut you off.
"Dinner's ready." Sanji announced shortly, setting down the plate in front of Luffy and then walked away without saying another word.
That was your final straw. You immediately put down your guitar and followed him into the kitchen. You didn't care about how you felt Nami's watchful eyes on you as you went after him, nor how Luffy was scarfing down the dinner and was definitely going to finish it all before you could take a bite; you just chased the blond with determination oozing out of you.
You roughly pushed the door open and found Sanji washing the pans he used for cooking. He glanced at you briefly then quickly looked away after. This irritated you even more as you demanded, "Is there something bothering you?"
"You should eat before the food gets cold." He said with an empty voice.
"Sanji!"
He stiffened. You rarely raised your voice at anyone. Sighing in defeat, he dried off his hands and fully faced you.
Your eyes were sharper than his knives, cutting straight into his soul. "I've known you for a long time now, do you think I don't notice whenever you have a problem?" You glowered, taking a step closer to him, "You have a problem. What is it?"
It happened fast. His hand landed on the small of your back and pulled you to his chest, and the other was placed on top of your cheek, and in a single motion, Sanji captured your lips with his. You gasped in the kiss, your heart dropping to the soles of your feet when he tilted his face to deepen it. Your fingers tightly grasped the sleeves of his shirt for support as he passionately moved his lips against yours. A pleasant heat ran down your spine, your whole body tingling and warming up. You were simply drowning. There was no other way to describe it, and it was only caused by his fervent kisses.
Sanji pulled away, resting your forehead on top of yours, and you took it as an opportunity to breathe in air that you lost. "You are the problem." He murmured lowly, eyes darting down to your swollen lips. Confused and lightheaded, you didn't get the chance to retort.
"Ever since that night, ange, you occupy my thoughts. You gave me a taste of your lips and you didn't even remember the next day. Do you know how that feels, hm?" He said, pecking your lips once again. You made a noise in the back of your throat, turning your head sideways so he couldn't kiss you anymore, but he took your chin and hungrily connected both of your lips.
He spoke between kisses, "You torture me. Ever since I read those songs you wrote about me in that little notebook of yours, you torture me with your presence."
That was when you snapped out of your daze. With all the force you could muster, you placed your hands on his chest and pushed him away. Sanji stepped back, surprised at your reaction.
Without giving him a chance to ask you anything, you ran off and left the kitchen, slamming the door loudly so you wouldn't hear him calling your name and be tempted to go back in his arms again.
You arrived in the sleeping quarters, locking the door behind you. You were sure that the others would understand you needing your alone time. Once you made sure you were on your own, your body collapsed altogether, your back sliding down against the door as you panted heavily.
He knows, was all you could think about. He knows about the songs. He knows about your feelings.
Well, you finally got your answer to your previous question, but a more complicated one replaced it. With trembling hands, your fingers raised themselves to your lips, touching its surface. You hated the way that you still felt his warmth on top of them.
A lone tear slid down the side of your nose. He was cruel. Sanji was cruel.
You didn't come out of that room for days, refusing to talk to anyone as you gathered your scrambled throughts and pulled yourself back together, and that was the fourth time you failed to leave Sanji Vinsmoke.
⸻ • ⸻
A stack of books, most of them being a collection of maps compiled in one, rested beside you while you flipped through the pages of the one you chose among them.
Nami has been lending you her books ever since you shut yourself out from the crew. You ignored all of them and only let Nami in, hoping that she'll be able to understand you; and she did. She was a good listener. Although you weren't particularly close with each other, you trusted her and told her everything: your dreams, your problems, your feelings, and Sanji. In return, she confided in you too.
"Here. So you can finally decide on where you will go to," You recall her saying while she handed you her collection of world map books, "and to distract yourself, of course."
"You're too kind, Nami." You said in admiration. Maybe this is why Sanji was enamored with her. She was a beauty inside and out.
Nami shrugged, yet she was smiling. "Just helping a fellow woman out."
The books did take your mind off the stubborn blond haired man that was still resting inside your heart, even if it was only for a fleeting moment. You tried to search for islands that will be suitable for you to start your career, narrowing some of them down into choices, but your eyes wil always lead back to where the Baratie was stationed.
You leaned back against your chair, letting your head hit the wall with a soft thud as you released a sigh of frustration. Not only will you need to prepare yourself for a journey all alone, but you also have to talk to Sanji sooner or later, whether you like it or not. The kiss distracted you more than the books Nami gave you. You think of it in the morning and dream of it at night, and it only got worse every time you remembered that he kissed you like he loved you.
Relaxing in your seat, you closed the book and listened to the silence.
The Going Merry docked for a quick trip to a market to gather fresh ingredients for food. Sanji will be gone for the meantime and you were free to roam around the ship without his heated stare boring holes in your skin.
But the peace was ruined by rushed footsteps and Usopp breaking into the room, almost destroying the door with his brute force. You frowned, standing up on alert when you saw how nervous he looked.
"Sanji's injured!" He exclaimed, which got your brow raising, knowing that he had a long history of lying to people. However, he forcibly pulled Sanji inside, and you were greeted by the sight of a bruised man, whose lips were bleeding and cheeks were starting to yellow.
You immediately sprang into action. You took the first aid kit you packed in your bag and grabbed his arm, making him sit down on your chair.
"How did you get into a fight in just a span of ten minutes?" You asked in irritation, wetting a cloth with saltwater to wipe off the blood on his lips.
Sanji grunted, tensing up when you took a hold of his face and dabbed on his lip using the cloth. "Some petty vendor was selling overpriced onions, and they weren't even the best of quality."
You stopped for a minute, glaring at him. "So you decided to punch them instead of talking it over?"
He only huffed in reply. Pursing your lips in annoyance, you continued to treat his wounds in silence, noticing him flinching and wincing in pain whenever you compress the bruised area with ice. "Who's being petty now?" You scolded impatiently, "Stay still."
The only sound that filled the room was you hastily rummaging your kit trying to find an ointment and an awkward silence that made you want to jump into the sea and never swim back to the surface. You unscrewed the lid of the jar of ointment and scooped some with your finger, looking at Sanji as you did so. He looked back at you quietly, and you tried hard not to think about the fact that you have to touch his lips in order for you to apply it.
It seemed like he realized that too, glancing down at the dollop of ointment on top of your finger, then back to you. You just gave him a small, uneasy smile, showing him that you weren't uncomfortable even though you were, and shyly took a step forward.
As gently as you could, you spread the ointment on the wounded area on his lips, reminding yourself to not be distracted on how soft they looked.
"A busted lip because of overpriced ingredients...it almost feels like you're doing this on purpose so I wouldn't get the chance to leave you." You half-heartedly joked to lighten up the atmosphere. However, you were greeted by nothing, not even a smart comeback or a funny joke from the blond. You hesitantly observed his reaction, and saw that he was grim and serious, guilt swimming in his beryl blue eyes.
The realization began to sink in.
Oh.
You should've known from the start. Sanji was a great fighter; he wouldn't be injured in the first place. "Sanji..."
Sanji took your wrist and held on it tightly. Your breath hitched, only then realizing how much you missed his touch, his warm, gentle, and loving touch.
"Let me go." You weakly said, even though deep down, you didn't want him to.
"Tell me you're not in love with me." He said, sounding utterly desperate that it almost made you fall down to your knees, "Tell me, and I'll let you go."
When you didn't answer, he stood up and cupped your cheeks with both of his hands. He pleaded, "Look at me. Look into my eyes and tell me you don't love me."
"Please don't do this." You whispered in pain as you tearfully shook your head.
"Stay. Please, stay." Sanji begged, pressing his forehead against yours, "What can I do to make you stay? Tell me. I'll do anything. Do I need to kneel? To beg for your forgiveness? Tell me what you want. I'll do anything in my power to make you the happiest woman in all of East Blue. Just please, don't leave."
"I can't." You answered, closing your eyes, a few tears streaming down your cheeks. You hate the way he was making this so hard for you.
He only continued, "Hate me, curse me, shout at me, if you must. Anything but you leaving me. Or do you want to make me yours? Then I am letting you. Whatever you want, mon ange—my heart, my soul, my attention, they're all yours. I'm all yours."
"No..."
"The crew will be incomplete without you." Sanji insisted in anguish.
"I have dreams, Sanji. Just like you and the rest of the crew." You explained softly, placing your own hands on top of his in attempt to comfort him and relieve him from his confusion.
However, he was persistent, "You can achieve your dreams without leaving. You can stay, and I will support you in everything you do. You're better off staying with me—with us."
You said firmly, "I will not spend the rest of my life doing what I don't want."
"Even with me by your side?"
A few second pass before you finally reply, "I'd be miserable."
Pain flashed on his face, making you want to take back your own words, yet you remained strong and unyielding. Sanji took a deep breath and stepped away from you, saying, "I'd rather have you miserable here than go out there and encounter ruthless pirates."
The statement quickly irritated you, frowning at him deeply. "You think I'll have problems with pirates when I've been serving them for years?"
"Oh, darling, you wouldn't be able to say that once you've encountered worse ones, with bounties higher than you could ever imagine." He snapped, voice raising with each word.
"I can manage on my own!" You bit back frustratingly, your tears evaporating into anger.
Sanji scowled at you, impatiently running his fingers through his hair. "You can't fight!" He shouted, voice breaking in the process, and with it, your heart too. It shattered like glass and the shards landed and pierced through your lungs, rendering you breathless. Your eyes widened, mouth dropping open in shock.
Seeing your expression, he immediately snapped back to reality, regret writing itself on his face. You shook your head in disbelief and let out a humorless laugh, "Are you telling me that I'm weak?"
"I didn't say that." Sanji quickly said in a hushed manner.
"But you're implying it!" You choked, still can't believe that he doesn't trust you. He doesn't trust you enough to accomplish your dreams on your own, and that he was not confident that you'll succeed without him by your side.
You wanted to ask him about the passionate kiss you two shared, about his loving gestures that confused the hell out of you, about his fresh bruises that he received on purpose so that he can get you to stay, and why he did all of that. You needed confirmation. But the question that left you was, "What am I to you?"
Sanji stayed quiet, and your heart broke again once more. Deciding that this was the last time he breaks it, you walked away and left him alone to tend to his own injuries.
He lit up a cigarette as he listened to your fading footsteps. A single teardrop fell down from his eye the moment he placed the cigarette between his lips, and all he could think about was that you hurt more than the bruises on his cheeks.
You packed your bags and spoke with Nami, telling her that you were ready, and that was the fifth time you tried to leave Sanji Vinsmoke—and tomorrow, you'll finally succeed.
⸻ • ⸻
The sun had just risen, and the early morning breeze smelled of the ocean, the calming sound of waves filling your ears. It was one of those days when the sky was clear and the sunlight wasn't harsh but pleasantly warm on your skin, making it the perfect day to start working on a new song and strum on your guitar for the melody.
But today was different. You were standing on the first step of the ship's staircase that leads to a docking station and a wooden walkway towards an unfamiliar island that was soon to be your new home. Your fingers clenched on the strap of your bag, finding this moment to be surreal. You have tried many times to leave, and here it was, right on the palms of your hands.
"So. This is it, huh?" Your trance broke as Nami commented beside you. She was the only one to bid you farewell and watch you leave, since the others were still asleep. You thought of Sanji and how he looked like when he was sleeping, staring at his handsome features so you can memorize them and implant it in your mind. He was your first love; you didn't want to forget him.
You smiled. "Thank you, Nami." You said earnestly, "I would've liked to spend more time with you. It's tiring to speak to men sometimes, don't you think?"
She laughed. "Yeah." Then, she caged you in her arms and hugged you tightly, surprising you for a second before you laughed too and returned the hug. "Stay safe out there."
"I will."
"So you planned to leave? Without saying goodbye?" A new voice interrupted, breaking the hug you and Nami both shared. You swiveled to look behind you, and there stood Sanji, appearing to have just woken up, with the strands of his blond hair sticking up in different directions. You observed his dejected expression, the downward tilt of the corners of his lips, and the glistening of his tired eyes. You stared at his crumpled suit and his crooked necktie. Despite how messy he looked, he will always be perfect to you.
You walked forward and looked at him fondly, with your eyes full of so much love reserved for him and him only. "Thought it would hurt less." You said, raising your hands to touch his hair and brush it down, "And I was right. How can I leave now when you're standing in front of me?"
He sighed shakily as he felt your soft fingers threading through his hair. "Then don't." He whispered. You only smiled at him. He didn't smile back, but that didn't stop you from taking both of his hands and caressing his knuckles using your thumb.
"Every night, I'll look at the moon and think of you. I'll tell my stories, sing my songs, and whisper my secrets to it. Just like what you and me would do when we were little." You told him softly and endearingly, "Would you be so kind as to look at the moon too and think of me?"
Sanji's eyebrows were scrunched together in agony, muttering, "I can't make you stay, can I?"
When you didn't answer, he just nodded his head, understanding what you wanted to stay. He forced a smile and tightly squeezed your hands. "I'm sorry."
"I'm yours." You answered, placing a soft kiss on the back of his hands. After letting your lips linger on his skin for a while, you slowly let go, and with one last glance at his face, you stepped back and made your way downstairs to the docking area, leaving before you could change your mind.
Sanji watched you go. While you walked away from the Going Merry, from the crew, and from him, not once did you look back. He just watched as you went farther away and became smaller in the distance, until you blended in with the crowd and you were just another person in a sea of people. And then you were gone.
It was the sixth time you tried to leave Sanji Vinsmoke, and this time, you finally did.
⸻ • ⸻
The red velvet curtains began to draw in front of you, gently falling back down on the stage as you said your final good-byes to your audience for tonight, a bouquet of roses cradled in your arms while you blew delicate kisses towards them. You can still hear their loud cheering and clapping even as you retreated to your personal room backstage.
A middle-aged woman greeted you inside when you stepped in the room and closed the door behind you, whistling. "There she is, our talented rising star!"
You only laughed at the silly nickname, setting the bouquet of roses that one of the people gave you in tonight's show on top of your vanity table. "You exaggerate, Madam. I have only performed two shows in your beautiful theater."
The madam, who was the owner of the theater you were currently working in, shook her head in disagreement. "And those two shows are sold out!" She informed you proudly, placing her hands on your shoulders, "Let me know if you want to add more, you are welcome to perform here anytime."
"I'll think about it." You replied, smiling. The madam patted your shoulder twice before she left you alone, humming happily to herself. You huffed in amusement, fully aware that she doesn't appreciate your talents at all, but only cared for the money.
Regardless of that, you were happy. It has been a couple of years since you left the Strawhat Pirates and pursued your dreams all on your own, and you've been traveling to different islands across the seas to perform. You never had a permanent home; being a musician meant going to many places from time to time to share and spread out your music.
Yet you can't help but miss life on the sea.
You missed washing dishes on the Baratie and the late night conversations you had with Zeff. You missed Luffy and his weird antics, Usopp and his jokes, Zoro and his blunt comments, and Nami and her kindness.
You missed Sanji and everything that he was.
You stared at your reflection in the vanity mirror on your desk. Your hair was pinned neatly, you had make-up on and you were dressed fancily for your performance. Years ago, you wouldn't look like this. It was hard to believe how much you've grown and changed, but these days, you felt like you wanted your old self back. Slowly, you took the itchy pins off your hair, and cleaned your face with warm water and a cloth. You replaced your dress in a more comfortable one and went outside.
Looking up at the night sky, you saw a bright full moon with no stars in sight. It was just the moon and its beauty, illuminating the pitch black sky with its glow. You silently watched it, a smile growing on your lips as you felt a tug on your heart.
"I wonder what you're up to, Sanji." You thought aloud, cheeks heating up at the memory of your first love and his golden hair and his contagious smiles. Then, to your surprise, a voice spoke unexpectedly.
"Well, I am fortuitous to have met such a beautiful angel."
You froze. No one referred to you as angel except for one.
Sanji.
As you turned around, he was already walking towards you. And there you both were, bathing under the moonlight, with him grinning at you mischievously and you looking at him lovingly.  You didn't know how he found you, but what mattered was that he searched for you and now he was here, and he was still making your heart beat fast in your chest just like all those years ago.
How the pesky feelings stayed and wrapped themselves around your aching heart, you didn't know. But maybe it was because he was standing in front of you, and the way his next words made you run into his open arms and kiss him until you were both breathless,
"There you are, ange."
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taglist part 1 @angel-luv3r @appalost @chexmixtrys @nimtano @sparklyphantom @natalieisfreeziing @reallysparklychaos @maydaylovex @johnnysactualgf @mochamei @kisumisumi @ttokyocat @mypurplewinee @rosaliinnn @nonniecannie @court-jester-stuff @detectivelucy07 @megumiif @untitledandrandom @erin-the-king @fangeekkk @nikolaevna-art @candesstuff @chaoticevilbakugo
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reverie-starlight · 1 month
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Osamu + doing their makeup for them on the first prompt list? 🥹🥹🙏🙏
SO CUTE!!! I'm not sure which way you wanted this, but this was the first thing that came to mind. hope you enjoy!!
gn!reader that owns/uses makeup, no physical descriptions, fluff fluff fluff, I need to write for osamu more. I think legally for every three atsumu fics I post on this blog, I need to do one for his brother. pls don't hold me to that. very dialogue heavy!!
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"how did I let ya talk me into this?" osamu sighs from underneath you. of course he knows how- your puppy dog eyes and sweet, sweet voice buttering him up.
you giggle and shift a bit so you're straddling him more comfortably. "because you loveeee meeee," you sing. "and you're extremely weak against my charm," you swipe some bright green eye shadow over his left eyelid.
the man sighs again, but the corner of his mouth is clearly twitching upwards at the reminder. "yeah, yeah, whatever," he starts bouncing his leg to pass the time and you click your tongue.
"'samu, stop moving, I'm gonna mess your face up."
he lets out a sudden laugh. "yeah, I'm sure moving my leg a little bit is the thing that's gonna mess my face up. definitely not the gremlin sitting on my lap with some-" he opens his right eye to try to get a glimpse of the brush but you're quick to pull it out of his view. "mystery colour. I don't like the look on your face, sweetheart, what are ya doin' to me?"
your laugh is far too ominous for his liking. "don't you worry, baby, I'm gonna make you so pretty."
"wasn't worried," he shoots back automatically, but then he grumbles a bit while rubbing your thighs, "thought you already considered me pretty."
"aww, so pouty," you coo at him. "keep it up and I'm gonna put some gloss on you, too."
you have to kiss away his scowl and reassure him that nothing sticky or wet will be applied to his lips before lunch.
he stays still until you announce that you're finished. he's a little too quick about scooping you up in his arms and rising from his chair.
you had been giggling throughout the entire process and he remembers the barely concealed mischief behind your eyes when you first begged to do his makeup. there was absolutely zero chance that you had actually given him a cohesive look, but you've been so down lately, that seeing you genuinely laugh and smile made him just a bit more willing than usual to let you have your way.
"samu!" you shriek when he throws you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
he adjusts his grip on the back of your thighs to keep you from squirming too much. "this had better be the best look of the damn century, sweetheart, or you're going to pay for it."
"what? nooo, baby I swear I was just messing around-" you're squirming relentlessly now, doing everything in your power to get out of his grip and run to safety. your boyfriend is relentless when it comes to payback. granted, you don't mind one bit, but it doesn't make the build-up any less terrifying.
he flicks the light switch on and it's dead-silent in the bathroom as he takes in his new look. his grip loosens just a bit and you take the opportunity to finally wiggle out of his arms and stand beside him.
osamu is just standing there, jaw slacked and staring at his reflection. you bite your lip to stop more laughter from bubbling out.
on his left eye is the bright green eyeshadow you had hidden from his view. on his right is a glittery neon pink. you've applied eyeliner on him as well, however not as sharp as what he sees you do for yourself. not sharp at all, actually, because instead of his eyeliner being winged, you've turned it into rounded flower petals. his blush is horrendously over applied to the apples of his cheeks, making him look like a doll.
and for the final blow, you've also "tattooed" some words onto his face in red lip liner.
atsumu is the better twin.
how you managed to fit it all is a mystery to him- he's almost impressed- but what's even more dumfounding is how he hadn't realized you were writing on him.
he blames your adorable smile for distracting him.
once he's done processing, he turns to look at you slowly and you feel a strange mix of fear and excitement pooling in your stomach. you're both extremely still and waiting for the other to make a move.
you decide not to tell him that you realized halfway into the flower petal eyeliner that you forgot to restock your makeup remover.
after an agonizing ten seconds, your lover only has to narrow his eyes to get you shrieking and running for cover.
lunch will have to wait a bit longer, but he decides he's okay with that as he chases you down the hall and pretends he can't catch up. he'll get his fill soon enough, anyway.
"yeah, you'd better run, darlin'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
thank you so much for sending this in, I hope you enjoyed!!
@emmyrosee come get your husband
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gillthorpe · 1 year
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distracted, xavier thorpe
xavier thorpe x reader
summary: xavier couldn’t help but do what he wants to do
warnings: it’s literally just fluff, use of baby?
a/n: first fic, please be nice. Apologies for any grammer mistakes oops
You could feel his eyes on you every now and then, alternating between his homework that he held up with his hand and you who’s sitting across from him. You didn’t bother to look up, putting all your focus on the essay you had to write as homework.
The library was quiet, only the sound of you and Xavier’s pen scribbling on paper and the occasional sniffing. You and Xavier would always go to the library to finish up the homework you two have for the day. It was your routine even before you and him started dating.
Unfortunately, Xavier isn’t the most responsible student. He would often goof around, trying to distract you and would do anything but his homework.
Today was no different.
“And… done!” You sighed, dropping your pen onto the table and leaning back against the chair. You let your eyes relax for a moment before peeking to see Xavier still focused on his homework. “Are you almost done?”
He bit his bottom lip, ignoring your question, too wrapped up in his work to answer you.
“Maybe we can swap our essays and spot if there’s any mistakes?” You asked, pursing your lips as you wait for Xaviers response.
He hummed absentmindedly, his eyes never leaving his notebook. You smiled, admiring your boyfriends pretty features when he concentrates. You were proud to see that he was actually putting in effort on his work.
Xavier finally stopped writing, placing his pencil down and picking up his notebook and admired it before giving himself a content nod.
You bounce eagerly, “Can I read yours?”
His eyes finally met yours, a hint of mischievousness behind those eyes. He smirked, clearing his throat as he sat up straight and swapped notebooks with you.
You were practically gleaming with excitement, excited to read his essay and actually feel like you have a real study partner to learn and point out mistakes with.
Until your eyes landed on his notebook.
Your smile has never dropped so fast. Your shoulders dropping, and you couldn’t contain the gasp that left your mouth.
A snicker came from the man you were about to murder.
“Xavier Thorpe I swear to fucking god—“
“—I love you, baby please—“
“—All this time I thought you were writing the essay—“
“—You’re so pretty I couldn’t help it—“
“—And you were drawing instead?!”
You stared at him incredulously, your nose flaring at him due to how pissed off you were. He was enjoying this, his cocky smile still plastered on his face as he laughed at your reaction.
“I’m sorry, baby. In my defence, I did try to write the essay. I just got distracted…” Xavier said, his hands holding yours as his thumbs rubbed your hands softly.
You blinked at him, sighing as you look down at his notebook to see at the top right hand corner he did wrote a few words before giving up.
“As much as I want to scream at you right now, this drawing is beautiful,” you sighed with a small smile, studying his artwork.
It was a drawing of you reading your textbook, you nose scrunched and your hair a mess. He managed to enhance your best features, capturing every little detail about you. He was truly talented.
“Thank you. Please don’t be mad, i’ll start on the essay right now,” he said softly, ensuring you aren’t upset with him.
You playfully rolled your eyes at him, sighing loudly. “You better do it or no cuddles for you tonight.”
You ignored his protests as you get up from your seat to find a book to keep you company. Safe to say Xavier was diligently doing his work with a determined face, and within thirty minutes he was done and started begging you for a hug and a kiss.
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justabigassnerd · 11 months
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Daddy's Little Girl
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Pairing - Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell x daughter!reader
Word count - 1,484
Warnings - mentions of throwing up, sickness, mostly fluff
Summary - after a long night of being unwell, your dad is there to help you feel better
A/N - sorry it's been a while since my last fic, I'm still fighting for my life out here. this fic was an anon request (actually two) so I hope I did it justice. as per y'all please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!!
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Maverick knew that having a young child meant that there would be days when you would get sick, and he would have to dedicate a few days to taking care of you. It’s part of what parenting entailed, and he knows he’d do just about anything to make sure his little girl is comfortable and looked after when she’s sick.
This time, you had clearly picked up a stomach bug from being at preschool and you had spent a large majority of the night emptying your stomach into the bucket Maverick had placed by his bed. He rubbed your back and kept your hair back from your face as you were sick and wiped your tears away when you had finished throwing up.
It took until the early hours of the morning for you to stop being sick and you soon curled up in Maverick’s arms, falling asleep almost instantly as Maverick brushed your hair away from your face and watched you sleep softly. He didn’t care if he got sick, all he cared about was you and whether you were okay. He couldn’t allow himself to do more than doze for the rest of the night in case you needed him at any moment.
By the time the morning had fully rolled around, Maverick had woken up before you, gently wiggling out from underneath you, picking up the bucket and taking it downstairs to clean it out before making himself a coffee and filling a bottle with water for you.
“Daddy!” Upon hearing your panicked cry, Maverick abandoned everything and darted up the stairs, every worst-case scenario making its way into his head as he took the steps two at a time to reach you faster. When he threw the door open, he was relieved to see you looking relatively okay aside from the tears that filled your eyes. Upon seeing your dad, you lifted your arms, and more tears worked their way down your cheeks. Maverick crossed to you, picking you up without hesitation and wiping your tears away softly as you cling to him, snuggling as close as you could.
“What’s wrong sweetheart?” Maverick coos softly, fighting the urge to bounce you lightly in case it upsets your stomach. You don’t respond, snuggling impossibly closer to your dad as your tears stop. Maverick rests the back of his hand against your forehead, relieved to notice that while you’re still warm, you’re not as warm as you were during the night.
“Let’s get you a quick bath, huh? That’ll help you feel a little better.” Maverick says, heading into your room to pick out a fresh pair of pyjamas and then heading into the bathroom and running a bath for you. When you’re in the bath, Maverick kneels alongside the tub, washing you gently and checking up on you, making sure you didn’t feel like you were going to be sick. You perked up a little bit, but you still weren’t at one hundred percent. When you’re cleaned up, Maverick drains the tub and then wraps you in a warm fluffy towel before lifting you out, drying you off before getting you into the new pyjamas.
“I’m going to make us some breakfast, do you think you could handle some toast? Does that sound good?” Maverick asks as he enters his bedroom once more, moving to put you down on his bed, stopping when you cling to him and whine.
“No daddy, don’t go.” You whine, refusing to let go despite his attempts to put you down.
“Hey, I’ll only be downstairs. You get to relax in daddy’s comfy bed, that’s way better than being in the kitchen.” Maverick attempts to bargain with you as you refuse to detangle yourself from your dad’s arms.
“No, wanna stay with you.” You whimper, clinging tighter to Maverick’s shirt so he can’t put you down. Maverick feels his heart breaking at your words, not being able to find it within him to deny your request.
“Okay, you can come with me.” Maverick says, setting you on his hip once more and heading downstairs to the kitchen where the bottle of water and now cold cup of coffee sat on the counter. Maverick sits you at the kitchen table and turns his attention to pouring out the cold coffee and making a new one and putting some bread in the toaster. As he busies himself with making something to eat for both you and him, he feels you wrap your arms around his leg, and he glances down with a soft smile.
“Was the chair not good enough, squirt?” Maverick muses jokingly as he ruffles at your hair, picking up his new mug of coffee and taking a sip. He hands you your water bottle just as the toast pops out of the toaster, he places one slice on one of your small plastic plates and two slices on his plate. He butters your toast and cuts it into small squares. Maverick moves back to the kitchen table, placing the plates and his mug on the table before sitting down and lifting you onto his lap so you could both eat your breakfast.
“Not too fast. We don’t want to upset your tummy.” Maverick says gently as you take a big bite out of the first square. He knew you were most likely starving due to the fact you’d been emptying your stomach most of the night, but he didn’t want you eating too fast in case it ended badly. Listening to your dad, you begin to take smaller bites as well as taking sips of water when Maverick gently prompts you to, reminding you of the importance of staying hydrated, especially when you’re sick. He knew you might not pay much mind to his words, but he figured if he started reminding you of the importance of taking care of yourself when you’re sick, you’d remember his words as you grew up and take care of yourself when you were unwell or burnt out. When both of you finished your breakfast, Maverick had to carefully navigate moving the plates from the table to the dishwasher with you still sitting on his hip before filling up your water bottle once more and handing it to you upon your request.
“Alright, kiddo. I think it's time to rest up a little more. You need to rest to make sure you feel better.” Maverick says as he brushes a strand of hair from your face, fighting back a frown at the temperature still clinging to your cheeks.
“Okay, daddy.” You say, cuddling close to your dad as he stops in the kitchen doorway.
“We have two choices here. We can go upstairs and watch a movie in daddy’s room. Or we could watch a movie in the living room. Your choice.” Maverick says, giving you the freedom to choose where you want to chill out. You think deeply, your eyebrows furrowing.
“Daddy’s room.” You eventually say, winding your arms around his neck and snuggling close, the coolness of the water bottle against his neck making Maverick bite back a wince.
“My room it is.” Maverick concludes with a grin, heading up the stairs and into his bedroom. He puts you on the bed before climbing in himself and as he grabs the remote, you’re instantly curling into his side, resting your head on his chest. Maverick skims through the various movies until you point out one, you’d like to watch. When you find a movie you like, he hits play and puts the remote down on the bedside table.
“You let me know if your tummy starts hurting, okay?” Maverick mumbles as the opening credits play, running a hand up and down your back as you nod against his chest. Maverick kept a close eye on you as you remained focused on the movie, giggling at the antics of one of the cartoon characters on the screen.
Maverick knew that having you cling and cuddle up to him was a risk of him getting sick too, but he didn’t care at all. All he cared about was your comfort and that you were feeling better. You were his world, his everything and he’d do just about anything he could to make sure you were comfortable and loved even on the days when you weren’t feeling well. He hated whenever you were sick, be it the tiniest cough or the sick bug you were dealing with now. He wished he could do nothing more than to take it away from you, so you didn’t ever have to feel sick or in pain. You were his little girl and he’d do just about anything for you.
As he watched you watching the movie, he couldn’t stop a small smile from gracing his face. He got lucky with you and he’d never let you forget how much he loved you.
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aka-indulgence · 1 year
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Worth the Effort (You Are)
As I’ve said before, I’ve been in a Really Romantic mood lately, and I just wanna…. be with Sans….. ouhghug….. i lov him….. also I just so happen to have written and finished this around valentines day! It’s not a valentine’s fic but. It’s very soft… romantic fluff… hehehee ://>
Ao3 (because it is Longe): https://archiveofourown.org/works/45076489
———————
It was an exciting day.
You tie a white sash around your waist, and tie your hair back. Styling your hair?
The baby blue dress you were wearing was adorable. It was really flattering for your form, and you look like if a flower had spontaneously turned into a human.
A special day.
Sans had asked you on a date. One that he planned out, one that he said was like “what you’d expect from a romance movie. novel. mettaton’s dating ma- no maybe not that one.”
Any date with Sans was a special occasion. Time spent with your wonderful, loving bonefriend was something you cherished. But Sans was putting effort to change things up, to impress you with something new. Not that you needed it, but the fact that he was doing it for you makes your heart flutter.
He said he wouldn’t even teleport for it, that he’d have a special ride for you. You don’t know what he could mean by that… usually you’d assume him to be alluding to teleporting (the first time he’d say that line was when he showed you his teleportation powers. Your jaw had dropped on the floor that first time.), but he already said he wasn’t. You spend your time nervously waiting for him to arrive pondering what kind of ‘ride’ he’s bringing. Of course, Sans never showed interest in vehicles… why would he, if he already has the most efficient method of transfer already, what… ingrained in his very soul? Maybe he borrowed Papyrus’ car? Or… maybe he is planning to surprise you with a car…?
You doubt it. Sans is crafty as much as he is lazy. He strives for convenience.
You don’t doubt however, that Sans was going to be on time. He promised that he’s going to arrive today on time. So you relax on the window-side seat, not looking out of it, as if he was going to come faster if you did, no. You actually relax a bit, not paying attention to the time, and start to snooze a little… woken up by the knocks on your door. You practically bounce off the seat like a spring, opening the door with a smile on your face that somehow gets wider when you see the soft skull of the man you loved so much.
Even better, he was wearing a tux shirt, and long jeans. Sans, mixing up his wardrobe? No.
“Sans!” You waste no time to wrap your arms around him (well, to the best of your ability) in a warm hug.
Look at your handsome man!!!
“are you surprised? i promised,” Sans winks. Sure enough, you fish out your phone and it shows you the lock screen.
“On time, to the dot!” You announce excitedly.
Sans snickers a little. “if you were looking at a clock…”
… “Don’t tell me you knocked right when the second hand made it all click.”
“yes.”
You laugh delightedly at that, wishing you were looking at an analog clock to see that, it would’ve been amazing.
“Well, I say I’m impressed, but… you’ve always been good at being ‘on time’,” You say slyly, as if you were trying to undermine his feat. Sans can see in your smile that you weren’t doing it to be mean. “You’ve been pretty good at keeping your promises to come on time.”
He was on time, sure… but he’d like to cut it close. If this was another date, Sans would come to you just a few seconds before the time he promised he’d take you out somewhere- say, a restaurant, and appear before a very shaken receptionist and tell them about his reservation (that was about to be cancelled).
“you know me. i hate promises, i don’t make them lightly.” Sans makes a solemn expression. “but i always make promises to you. you make it easy for me to keep them.”
… Damn this man, your heart was feeling all sorts of mushy and soft for him before the date’s even gotten off the ground properly.
Sans can’t blame you for having to immediately kiss him (right now!!). In fact, the skeleton seems quite happy to have you furiously kissing him on the teeth.
“You look!! So good!” You say as soon as you’re done attacking him, picking at his shirt. “tux shirt. Simple, but dapper.”
You’re only half-joking.
“ah… you as well,” Sans’ smile turns warmer, seeing your dress.
Of course Sans would appreciate your clothes, but you still feel giddy anyway, giving him a little twirl. “You like it?”
“i love it.” Sans tells you emphatically. “it’s cute… an’ pretty. you trying to match my magic?”
“Absolutely.” You answer confidently, pecking him one more time on the cheekbone, which he rubs affectionately, chuckling.
“Well!” You clap your hands, challenge in your tone. “Where’s this ride you’ve been promising me? It better live up to the hype!”
Sans chuckles at your enthusiasm, then steps back away from the door and makes a grand waving motion at the thing just on the road in front of your home.
“our ride, my lady.” He bows dramatically.
You’re… actually too stunned to speak. The blue ride Sans was showing you was… a tricycle. An honest to god tricycle.
“H… h,” you wheeze gently, “you didn’t,” you breathe as you approach the (relatively) little thing.
“i did.”
When you look it over, you could see that it was modified. It was larger than a little kiddy tricycle, but not as big as a proper bicycle. The seat was so that it could fit two people comfortably (and you mean comfortably. Sans wasn’t… a small man). Other than that it looked like a regular tricycle.
When you turn to look at Sans, he looks so proud.
“What a–” cute “--silly use of your engineering degree. I love it.”
“no core, a bore,” Sans shrugs, as if that little detail in his credentials was some everyday thing that many monsters had. “well… not really. but it’s been a while since i really… used that degree for anything. might as well for my favorite human, huh?”
You don’t doubt that your eyes were sparkling at him when he says that. You spend a minute or so just admiring the tricycle.
“Did you build it from scratch or…?”
“nah. that’d be tire-ing.” Sans sighs, “I’d rather tri something else.”
“L-”
“like we should get a move on before it gets too late. we better get this show on the road before we spend an entire day lazing around your house.”
“... Who are you and what did you do to Sans?”
“heheheh,”
As much as you’d like to tease him about it, he’s right. Sans prepared… “Stuff” for you, and you’d like to appreciate it.
So you do.
“Let’s go then, Mr. chauffeur, take me to our destination!” You declare confidently, glance at the tricycle, then less confidently “.... can you tell me how to sit in this?”
—————
You don’t think you’ve ever felt so nervous riding a tricycle before.
You’re sat behind Sans, and though you’re about the same height as him, his broad shoulders made it so it was a bit hard to look over them. Your hands couldn’t circle him properly, so you had your hands scrunching up his shirt. It didn’t take too long before you got used to it though, and your brain didn’t keep thinking that you’d fall out of the generous seat.
You would think that riding a tricycle around the city, it would take a while to get anywhere, but surprisingly, Sans kept up good speed. He even overtakes a couple of cars while he pedaled, and even from behind him you could see the shit-eating grin growing on his face whenever someone in the cars makes a double take at the sight. You’d covered your mouth then, a move that made Sans even more proud.
You wondered how he did it. And how Sans didn’t seem to struggle at all. Leg day, maybe?
The idea of Sans doing any sort of exercise seriously, perhaps even specifically so he could use the tricycle was a hilarious mental image.
By the time you’ve arrived, you barely recognize your surroundings. You’re at a nice big park… somewhere? And after Sans parks the trike,
(“don’t worry, no one’s going to steal a tricycle. that’s a bit trite don’t you think?” “I mean. If you say no one’s going to nab it…”)
(Sans somehow fits the tricycle into the regular bicycle parking rack.)
He brings you up to a scenic hill that looks like it came out straight out of a movie. Overlooking the rest of the park, with a big shady tree on it.
It’s a good thing you came earlier, because today was the perfect weather to be out, and no one had taken the prime space yet. The sun’s getting high on the sky, but you won’t be bothered under the shade.
He leads you there, then takes his hand away. “wait here. be right back in a jiff,” Sans mentions, and he walks behind the tree. He takes more than a jiff, a couple of seconds, and when he reemerges from the other side you stifle a snort.
He looks like a whirlwind, a plaid red and white blanket thrown over his skull, and a picnic basket swinging from one hand…
A picnic!!
Old memories resurface, of always wanting to do a traditional picnic that you saw often while watching shows and movies as a kid. With a blanket and matching picnic basket… tea cup set… lovely company. You never got to and you didn’t think you’d have the motivation, but here you were, with Sans providing it for you.
“A picturesque picnic?” You thought out loud, “That’s so sweet!”
“hey you haven’t even seen what’s inside the basket.” Sans places it down, and spreads the blanket over the grass. “and i mean… paps helped me pick out the stuff, so i think he should get some of the credit.”
“Credit for what?”
“getting good grades on ‘dating’,”
“Am I dating the both of you???”
“no it’s an individual project… but doesn’t hurt to have a brother who reads all about dating.”
The basket Sans brought wasn’t small by all accounts, but Sans fitted more into it than you thought it could. You take them out and spread them over the blanket. You squeed in delight, having some of your favorite light dishes around you, along with the picnic staples: sandwiches, fruits, and of course one (1) teapot.
As you look around though, you have to ask… “Are you sure you like this stuff, Sans?”
Sans pauses, hand stuck in the basket. “huh? of course i do. i wouldn’t bring it if i didn’t. besides,” He materializes a hotdog from the basket, “i came prepared with my usual.”
It was a sight, to have him bring out the ketchup bottle out and sblort, there goes the ketchup on the sausage, against the backdrop of a very proper looking picnic.
Well… almost. Wasn’t like your favorites didn’t include something ‘unhealthy and greasy’...
“had to sneak this in. i’d already promised paps that i was gonna plan out a romantic picnic and he left me to it for the most part… but he wouldn’t have approved of this particular meal choice.”
“No, he wouldn’t.” You agreed, eyeing his hotdog with a little more drool than you’d care to admit. “Do you have… more…?”
“wouldn’t be a thoughtful boyfriend if i didn’t think about that now, would i?” Sans’ sockets gleam as he procures another delicious processed meat product.
You spend your picnic appreciating all the stuff Sans brought (doing your best not to shove it all down your face), pleasantly surprised that Sans made most of it by hand.
“also, papyrus was there. … i promise, i made the main stuff, even if paps tried to stage a coup against me,”
“Hahaha!”
It was very thoughtful, and it made you feel very special that this skeleton with a lazybones reputation kept proving to you day by day that you were someone worth a lot of effort, even if you didn’t need something grand.
Eventually the topic of his tricycle came up again.
“i’ve had that tricycle for a while, actually. ever since we surfaced,”
“No way, really?” you looked back towards the bike parking area, though you couldn’t actually see the vehicle in question. “I was convinced you bought and built that tricycle for this date.”
You’re afraid you might’ve sounded disappointed, because Sans waves his hands frantically. “no no, that was for you. it wasn’t all… professionally approved for actual distance travel, before. i did that for this,” he gestures at the picnic. “no… it used to be a very normal tricycle. and no, not the one for adults. lil kiddy trike.”
You think about the tricycle now, upsized and fit for two people. You try to imagine what it might’ve looked like back then, while Sans stayed the same… on a kiddy tricycle…
Your mouth turns into a squiggly line. “B… but why? I’ve… I’ve never even seen you on something remotely like a bike,”
“i can show you,” Sans fishes his phone out of his pocket, smile going up to his sockets. “you wanna know how big ‘ol me fit on it, right?”
“Yes!” you answer emphatically as Sans scrolls through his gallery. It takes him a while before his sockets widen in an a-ha! expression.
“here it is… sweet surfacing memories,” Sans says, turning the screen to you as he looks up wistfully to the sky.
Your face is flat as you stare at the image on the phone, hands unconsciously coming up to it, taking it away from Sans. You just had to take a closer look.
It was… a glorious picture. The image quality was surprisingly crisp and sharp where it mattered, considering the motion blur you could see at the edges of it. There, was an image of Sans, his shit-eating grin wide on his face as he winks for the camera, and though it was cut off you could see how tiny the tricycle looked like under him, And behind, there was Papyrus, in his sports car, all shiny and new with the hood down and Papyrus was… god, his eyes were popping out of his skull, mouth opened in frozen agony, fists furious at the wheel. You honestly think you could hear the “SAAAAANS!!!” he must undoubtedly be screeching in the image.
Sans laughs along with you when you burst, throwing your head back, one hand to your chest- he was trying to kill you!- half-mindedly handing him back his phone.
Again, “B… but why!?” You ask even more desperately than before.
“screwing with my younger brother, obviously.” He rolls his eyelights in teasing ‘duh’. “pap always wanted to have a sports car like that, you already knew he used to have a racecar bed back in the underground. early after we surfaced, pap got his dream come true in that car and wanted to take a test… victory ride around the city highways. i gave him some time to indulge on it himself but.. i couldn’t resist to ruin it… maybe just a little,”
There was the glint in his sockets, in the way his grin was lifted, the expression that Sans had when he just found a brand new pun or when he was waiting for you to realize what he just tricked you into. Even though you’ve fallen for something many a time when he did it, he always looked adorable when he made that face- happy.
“couldn’t let my brother have his joy ride on his own could i? so i found my own- shortcutted all around the city for bicycle stores… toy stores… for the perfect tricycle. i needed something that was practical but still funny enough, something that’d look small for me, and i found it. as soon as i did i chased him, and once i found him, i overtook him.”
His sockets crinkled as he looks to the side, no doubt looking at the memory in his mind’s eye. “he was so pissed. you know my brother, so cool, he was stamping his leg and flailing his hands while the car kept cruisin’ on as if he was still driving it. i rode off into the sunset before he did, and when i got home he’d stopped at undyne’s house, sitting on the porch, looking like a storm. undyne was trying to comfort him but… i think i even got her, because she broke out into a laugh when she saw my trike.”
He sighs happily. “told her i was here to pick up my bro. paps left in a huff and said I CAN TAKE MYSELF HOME ALONE!!”
You laugh- surprised and not at the same time, and you don’t bother trying to keep it ‘polite’. You weren’t expecting the frighteningly good impression of his brother form Sans, and the story itself was hilarious- something you absolutely expected from Sans.
“You’re an asshole!” You say, pointing an accusatory finger at him. Sans doesn’t take offense.
“sure was. pap tried real hard to stay mad at first, for ruining his moment… but i apologized to him while sitting on my trike. i don’t think he could resist seeing something like that. i broke him when i honked the horn.”
“There was a horn?!” You repeat, disbelieving.
“yeah.
“Where’d it go?
“oh, i took it off, for the… for the occasion.” Sans rubs the back of his neck. “didn’t feel like it’d fit..?”
Hm… probably right.
But, “You should put it back on after!” you encourage, “I wanna ride around in it with you more! And I think the faces people make when you honk at them are going to be funnier after they get over their shock.”
Sans perks up at that, like he wasn’t expecting it. “r… really?” then, hesitantly, “you… you actually like that thing?”
“Of course I do, you made it for us!” You announce cheerfully. “And I really want to ride around the city with you… it was actually pretty relaxing.”
Of course you liked being with Sans anywhere, and his teleportation was great you could go from one place to another in an instant without having to worry if you’d ever be late, but… you also liked taking your time to just be around him, and since Sans rarely ever took rides… it was pretty romantic to be riding behind him while he cycled around.
You add that. “And I like spending time with you,”
His grin was minimal now, something that’d worry you… if his cheeks hadn’t started dusting blue, spreading across his face.
“i…. same,” He eventually smiles again, holding his cheek tenderly. “i love you.”
“I love you too.” You answered so fast it was almost automatic.
Sans sits there in silent for a moment, the sound leaves rustling quietly in the wind, along with the ambient noise of the park. Then, he seems to get an idea.
“you know what else you love though...”
Oh no. That grin wasn’t a good sign.
(It was a Funny sign.)
“you love food so much you’ve been stealing it from your own datemate.” He puts his hand on his sternum and makes a melodramatic face. “i’m hurt.”
“What..?”
When you turn to look, all the leftovers have somehow been piled onto your plate in the blink of an eye. You’re surprised it doesn’t topple.
“Wh, how did that all get here?!”
“i get eating condiments with excitement, i really do, you know me, but… that whipped cream was for sharing, sweet-toots.”
“Huh???” Was your reaction, until you saw the whipped cream beside you. “I was!! Putting it on the cake earlier!!”
“ravenous.” Sans is ignoring your desperate pleas! “you can still see the remnants of the crime…” He’s tapping on the side of his teeth. Sure enough, you had whipped cream there.
“And you have the crime of breaking the laws of physics!” You shoot back, ‘walking’ towards him on your knees, “time to go to jail, bone man!”
“oh no, are you going to whip me- augh!!” Was Sans’ anguished cry (mixed in with a surprised laugh) when you smack him softly on the cheek, trying to jab him anywhere you can. You were (not actually) annoyed and you were trying to make your case clear! Sans answers back with jabs on his own, and though he had thick bones and bigger hands, he was… playing as nice as one Sans would allow. Then, he found his way to his tickle spots.
“Sans, no!”
You end up playfully stuck to each other, trying to shove and tickle and push and pull at each other, to get the upper hand.
“Get your hands-! Not there!”
“if you surrender first, food stealer,”
“For the last time I did not steal your food!!”
“whipped cream sprayer,”
“I didn’t-! Argh!!”
You give Sans a hard shove. And this time he doesn’t get up- you see him attempt, of course, but he starts tilting back over the hill, you can see his expression turn from playful to huh?? And you try to catch him, one hand going over to protect his skull and the other around his waist (sort of), but he’s tilted too far… and his hands had automatically caught you…
Well. You end up rolling down the hill together, a blur of blue and black, picnic left alone on top. You squeaked and Sans was huffing as you both spinned, eventually slowing down to a halt, with you on top of Sans.
You were in a tangle of limbs. Apparently both of you had the same idea- keep the other one safe. Although you can’t imagine your tiny hands could be of much help to Sans, who’s thick arms did wonderful as a defensive pillow around you.
You stare at each other in stunned-silence for a little while. Maybe a bit longer.
You only seemed to snap out of it when you saw a blade of grass on Sans’ cheek and tried to thumb it away- only to realize your hand was stuck under Sans skull. And when you tried to use the other one, it was also stuck under Sans’ back.
Your face scrunched up and so did Sans. And then you both burst out in laughter, ignoring your trapped hands.
“r…. ribcaged!!” Sans was wheezing, the power of his laughter making you shake a little on top of him, while your own laughing certainly made you look like you were vibrating.
“I was trying to keep your skull safe and this is the thanks I get?” You’d jab him in the sternum if you could, but alas, your hands were indeed, ribcaged.
Sans mirrors you, putting one hand on your head, lifting his back a little so you could free your hands (before they start falling asleep). You fold them on top of him, smiling while he’s still giggling, his sockets shut.
“oh my god,” Sans says, like he’s had a revelation, rubbing one phalange under his socket. “are we… are we in a romcom? or… straight up romantic movie?”
He was hehehehing all the way, and you really didn’t want him to stop.
“What if we are?” You shrug. “We’ve got real attractive leaads…”
“heheheh… yeah we do,”
Sans draws his hands back around you while you giggle, and when his hand settles over your head, you struggle a little to stop yourself from smiling when he leans in. You meet his teeth with your lips, and it was a joy to feel that he was having trouble too, feeling his expression on his teeth.
You’re so happy. You’re so happy you get to do silly, adorable couple stuff with someone that you really cared about.
… Somewhere deep in your mind, you think “We’re lucky Alphys and Undyne aren’t around to see this… they’d be taking pictures like paparazzi, and you’re sure they’d squee about it with each other.”
—————
You spent some time canoodling with Sans a bit longer, until you both abruptly remembered your picnic stuff when a dog had come up, sniffing around. Most of it have been eaten of course, so nothing got sacrificed… but you supposed it was time for you retire home. It was afternoon now and families have started getting to the park, which was less peaceful. Nice, but not quiet.
“i mean it would be nice to see the sunset… but i don’t think you’d have much fun overheating under the sun.” Sans said, on the matter while he stacked the utensils back into the basket. (He had insisted he do the stacking. By the way he put emphasis on it, you feel like it’s either a pun, or a story he hadn’t told you about.)
When you came back to the parked tricycle, he looked like he’s still feeling shy about it and had half a mind to just teleport you home, but you remind him how much you want to ride around with him, and he concedes.
“You should take me sunset riding. Next time maybe?” You talked over him, hair waving in the wind. He had gone up a flyover and you were admiring the view, the tall buildings all around you. Maybe he didn’t think you could see it, but you could see the blue spreading on his face again. It took him a while before he answered you with “yes. definitely, next time…”
It felt like the ride home was all too fast, and you had the same feeling in your stomach as you do when you were a kid, waking up right before your car arrives home. It doesn’t keep you down though, as you practically skip your way towards home, with Sans holding onto your arm like a proper gentleman.
You take off your shoes at the door and untie your sash, standing around the entry way. “Aw Sans, that was great! Food’s good, cool ride,” Sans ducks his skull a bit, glancing away, “even better skeleton. It…. it was a special date. Thanks Sans,”
You give him a peck on the cheek, and you love seeing the little gesture has him being faintly blue, though he has a confident smile and his eyelights were glowing brightly.
“it’s… don’t mention it. i told you i gotta romantic bone in me…”
“I knew that!” You giggled, reminding him that “It’s Papyrus that didn’t think you had a romantic bone!”
You shake your head. “But look at you now… you put together a bunch of meals for us, bought matching basket and blanket, got here on time, and you modified an entire tricycle that you only planned to use as a joke.”
Your heart feels full as you say, “You always know how to make me feel special.”
His grin drops again, averting his gaze. This scene… it makes you smile, how even after a year of dating this goober, it still feels as if you two were two kids who’s crushing on each other. He takes your hands in his, and when his eyelights turn to look back at you, you could see they were in the shape of hearts.
“you’re always worth the effort, starlight.”
Ah… that lovely nickname.
He brings your hands to his teeth in a gentleman kiss. You’re squeeing and shaking in place, you don’t want to let go of Sans’ hands right now.
“Oh, I can’t wait to be able to have revenge on you, grr… who would’ve guessed the whoopie cushion would be so good at romance?”
Sans taps his chin, looking around your house as if he were judging it. “hm…. i can think of a few ways you could repay me.” Sans says, after much pondering. “ya know my legs are real tired from all that pedaling… i don’t think i have enough strength to go home right now…”
You smile at him. You’re too happy to try to challenge his reasoning- even to jokingly ask him “but you can teleport?”
As if he was expecting you to turn him away however, Sans has chosen to close the distance and dramatically lay (part) of his weight on you.
“Wh- hey! Get off!! Sans you can stay, but I’m not going to have a lot of fun if you end up crushing me on my front door!”
“.....” Sans doesn’t answer. Instead,
“zzzzzz……”
“Oh my god!”
You get into ‘Playful Fight Round Two’, but it doesn’t last as long, and there were no scenic romantic hills to roll over, as you settled into Sans’ arms, walking over to the very comfy sofa that could very well rival his old one back at his house.
“this is the best repayment ever, and you’re the best girlfriend ever,” Sans says. You both settle into a couch cuddle, with Sans as the big spoon, TV turned on as background noise. “happy anniversary, starlight.”
He kisses your cheek. The edges of your lips quirk up. Though they were getting tired from how much you smiled today, you don’t have it in you to care.
“Happy anniversary, Sans.”
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nowhere else to turn ~ shawn hunter;boy meets world
word count: 1567
request?: yes!
“I will take literally anything Shawn Hunter. Smut, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort. Anything. There is a severe drought if Shawn fics🥺”
description: after being abandoned by his parents yet again, he goes to the one person he can think of
pairing: shawn hunter x female!reader
warnings: swearing, mentions of a rough homelife, abandonment
masterlist (one, two)
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I was surprised when I opened the door to find Shawn on my doorstep, soaked from the pouring rain.
“Shawn? What are you doing here?” I asked. “Wait, don’t answer that yet. Come inside.”
I quickly brought him into my kitchen and sat him down at the table. I put n our kettle to make him hot tea and ran up to grab him a towel and a blanket. Once two mugs of tea were on the table in front of us, I asked again, “What are you doing here?”
Shawn sighed and looked at the mug in front of him. “Dad...is gone.”
“Again?”
He nodded. “He’s looking for mom, or gone off with mom, or...I don’t know. He just left again. Not even any warning this time.”
This wasn’t anything new. I think I lost count of how many times Shawn’s dad had up and left him. He bounced from place to place, pretty well raising himself since he was old enough to walk and talk.
“Oh Shawn,” I said, reaching out to put my hand over his.
“I’m sorry for showing up like this. I have nowhere else to go.”
“What do you mean? Of course you do. Honey, you have Cory and his family. Not that I’m trying to say you can’t be here, you know you’re always welcome here.”
“I can’t go back to Cory’s place. Things didn’t go well the first time. I don’t think they’ll let me come back.”
I decided not to remind him that wasn’t true. He had a rough go staying with the Matthews family, but I knew they still loved him and would gladly take him in if he needed a place to stay. But this wasn’t the time. Right now Shawn just needed his girlfriend to be there for him right now.
After he was dry and had finished his tea, I took Shawn up to my room. Normally he wasn’t allowed up there, but my parents weren’t home, and I didn’t plan for anything suggestive to happen. I figured Shawn just needed somewhere to lay down for a while.
I grabbed him some of my brother’s clothes to change into, even though I knew they’d be a little too big. It was dry clothes, though, and he definitely needed some of those. Once he was changed, the both of us laid down on my bed. Shawn kept a respectable distance at first, but I closed it by moving closer and burying my head in his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and I was enveloped by his scent.
We laid in silence for a while. Shawn’s breathing was so even and heavy that I wondered if he had fallen asleep. It wasn’t until I felt his beathing hitch and stutter a little that I looked up to see him crying.
“Oh, baby,” I said, quickly switching positions so I was the one hold him.
He cried into my chest, his tears soaking my shirt. I ran my fingers through his hair, hoping it felt soothing for him.
“I’m so tired of this,” he said, his voice breaking from the tears. “I don’t care that we live in a trailer, I don’t care that Virna isn’t my mom, I don’t care that we don’t have money. I just wish my dad wanted to actually be a dad. I wish...I wish I was enough for him.”
“Don’t say that!” I chastised. “Shawn, that’s not true. If anything he’s not enough for you. You deserve a much better father; one who isn’t going to let you down like this all the time.”
He tightened his grip on me and buried his head further in my chest.
My heart ached for him. Shawn didn’t deserve the shit he went through. He had a kind heart, he cared so much for everyone he loved even when they didn’t deserve it (namely his father). He was just all around good, and yet bad things always happened to him.
“I wish I was better for you,” he mumbled into my chest. I figured he thought I couldn’t hear him, but he was extremely wrong.
I pushed him away so I could look in his eyes. “What?”
His face turned pink and he seemed flustered. “Just...there’s so much...difference between us. I know what people think of us together. I just...I want to be someone you deserve.”
I had heard the way people talked about Shawn and I, too. We weren’t exactly polar opposites - my family wasn’t rich and I wasn’t the super popular girl in school (not that Shawn wasn’t popular either). But after my sudden puberty spirt between middle school and high school, I suddenly gained a lot of attention. When I started dating Shawn that same year, there was...less than ideal comments made about him. Namely about his home life and financial situation.
I cupped his face in my hands, squishing his cheeks together to make a kissy face with his lips. “Now you listen to me, Shawn Hunter. I don’t care what anyone else says about you; about us. I love you, and I’d love you if you were rich and living in a mansion, or if you were a middle class nobody like me and Cory. It’s who you are that I love, not what you are. Never feel like you have to be someone you’re not for me, and especially never apologize for coming to me when you need somewhere to stay.”
Shawn smiled at me, or rather he tried to while I was still squishing his face, and tears welled in his eyes again. I kissed his nose before releasing his face, which he then buried in my neck.
Within moments, Shawn was asleep. I knew rest was what he needed. I knew him well enough to know that he probably hadn’t slept at all in the last 12 hours or so.
I wasn’t sure how much time had past when I heard the front door open. Shawn was still sound asleep, so I didn’t worry too much about moving out from under him and leaving him in my bed as I rushed down to meet my parents.
I was so quick running down the stairs that I nearly stumbled and fell, causing my dad to chuckle and ask, “Where’s the fire, kid?”
Without thinking, I blurted, “Shawn is here.”
My parents shared a confused look before realization crossed on their faces. I quickly cut them off before they could lecture me for not only having him over while they weren’t home, but also having him in my room during that time.
“He’s asleep right now. He came over a while ago because his dad left him again and he didn’t want to go to Cory’s. I brought him up to my room so he could rest once he had calmed down until you guys got home and I could ask you if it was okay for him to stay with us for a while until he figures out another situation.”
“His dad is gone again?” my mom asked, her eyes filled with concern.
Both of my parents loved Shawn, even if my dad always tried to act like a tough, protective dad when he was around. They were both also well aware of his home life as I had spent more than a few nights with Shawn, Cory, and Topanga after Shawn’s dad had run off the numerous times before.
I nodded. “And his mom. He has no one at home.”
“How can someone do that to a child repeatedly?” my dad asked, his face red with anger. “He’s lucky no one has called child protective services on him yet and gotten Shawn taken all together.”
“Can he stay with us?” I asked again before the two of them could go off on this rant again. “Please?”
“Of course he can, sweetheart,” mom said. “But you know our rules, he can’t be in your room. We’ll make an exception this time, but just once. Does he have anything with him?”
“No. I think he came right here after his dad left.”
“We’ll take him to get his clothes tomorrow,” mom decided. “For now, he’ll stay in the guest room.”
I hugged her tightly, then moved to do the same to dad. “Thank you thank you thank you thank you!”
I rushed back up to my room to tell Shawn the news. To my surprise, he was already awake when I walked in.
“Are they mad?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No, not at all. They’re letting you stay as long as you need. We’re going to take you to get your clothes from the trailer tomorrow.”
Shawn smiled and engulfed me in another hug. I lifted my head from his chest to capture his lips with mine.
“Thank you for always being here for me,” he said.
“You don’t need to thank me, goofball. That’s what a girlfriend is for. Which  reminds me - ” I wriggled out of his embrace and stood up from my bed. “ - you gotta go to the guest room.”
He groaned. “Really?”
“You know the rule. I only got one exception. Go before they change their minds.”
He reluctantly got up and trudged towards my bedroom door. But not before grabbed my face and giving me another quick kiss before disappearing through the door.
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pinkpkmntrainer · 2 months
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y'all i finally finished it. here it is, my first kingleader fic.
****
“Jax, this isn't funny, give it back!!” Gangle cried out.
“Ha! Nope~” the bunny replied, holding the basket just out of Gangle's reach.
Kinger paid no mind to their bickering, he was too busy looking for the eggs that were hidden around the circus. Caine had arranged a special Easter egg hunt for the day's adventure, which everyone was very excited about. But Kinger had yet to find a single egg, which was very discouraging.
As he looked around the room for any potential hiding spots, his gaze fell upon his impenetrable fortress. The pillow fort, of course! What better place to hide an egg? He quickly shuffled over and crawled inside.
He didn’t have to look around for long, as right in the middle of the fort, there sat a particularly large egg, almost like it was meant to be found. He picked up the egg and examined it closely, it was purple in hue and decorated with little red butterflies, and it was indeed a lot bigger than the eggs he had seen the others collect. As he continued to inspect it, a horizontal crack suddenly appeared around it. Curious, he lifted off the top of the egg. A huge pile of candy spilled out of the egg, startling him as several of them fell and bounced off of the floor.
After recovering from the initial shock, he noticed the type of candy it was. It didn’t seem like normal Easter-themed candy, in fact, it looked a lot more like Valentine’s Day sweets. Heart-shaped chocolates, pink and red jellybeans…he suddenly noticed there was a piece of paper in the middle of the egg. He pulled it out, realized it was a note, and read it:
‘My dear Kinger,
I decorated and hid this egg just for you. Happy Easter!
Sincerely, Caine’
Kinger felt a warm feeling growing in his chest. He was touched that Caine went out of his way to do this small thing for him, the ringmaster had even decorated the egg with butterflies, knowing how much Kinger loved insects. The chess piece had no idea what he’d done to earn this special treatment, but he was extremely grateful nonetheless.
The performers of the circus were all lined up on the stage, chatting amongst themselves while holding their individual baskets. The denture-headed ringmaster appeared in front of them and started to speak.
“That concludes The Amazing Digital Egg Hunt, everyone! Why don’t we go ahead and count the lovely eggs we’ve gathered?”
“I think I have about…17?” Pomni replied with uncertainty.
“I got 20!” Ragatha cheered.
“I don’t have any eggs…” Gangle mumbled between sniffles. Jax looked down at her and smirked. “Well, maybe you should work harder next time.”
“But you stole all my eggs from me…” 
Ragatha walked up to Jax with a stern expression. “Jax, give her back her eggs. She found them fair and square.”. Jax simply scoffed and turned his nose up at her. Zooble put a hand on Gangle’s shoulder and held their basket up to her. “Here, we can share mine.” Gangle looked at them and smiled gratefully.
Kinger didn’t notice any of this happening, he was too busy staring at the special egg in his hands, running his fingers over the little butterfly patterns. He only snapped out of his trance when Pomni spoke to him. “So, um…how many did you find?” 
“AH!! Oh, Pomni. Well, I actually only got one…” he held up his egg to show her.  She and the others all looked at it in awe.
“Aww, look at the little butterflies~!” Ragatha cooed.
“What the heck?!” Jax complained. “Where’d you even find that thing?! it’s huge, that’s not fair!!”
“What’s all the commotion here?” Caine inquired, floating over and quickly taking notice of the egg in Kinger’s hand. “Ah! It seems that you, my royal fellow, have located the super-rare Butterfly Egg!!”
Kinger looked up at the ringmaster and smiled at him with his eyes. “Thank you, Caine.”
“Wuh- I- Oh.” Caine stuttered, a soft pink blush appearing on his molars. “It’s- It’s no problem at all, m-my dear!”
Kinger chuckled quietly to himself, finding himself adoring the way that Caine stumbled over his words. The other performers watched this interaction from a distance.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Zooble turned to Gangle. The ribbon girl just nodded in response.
(sorry for the shitty ending lmao 😭 hope you guys enjoyed)
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starsurface · 26 days
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<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Regressor Lord Raiden w/ CG Liu Kang & Kung Lao
They spent the next little while mostly coloring and chatting, and of course cuddling. Raiden's picture was perfect!! Well, it was mostly just scribbles, coloring outside the lines too.
But it was the first time he had ever drawn outside the lines. And that itself was very important. Raiden usually fussy about his pictures needing to look nice. So he was probably very deep in his regression, an incident that has yet to ever happen.
Raiden seemed a bit sleepy. Not enough to get him to bed, but definitely somewhat tired. Most likely feeling almost exhausted after crying that hard. But Liu Kang and Kung lao knew toddlers. And while Raiden would go to bed if they asked, he'd probably get a bit fussy.
What was an activity that could tire him out? . . .
"What about a dance party?" Liu Kang suggested as Raiden finished.
Kung Lao pouted, "I am not done with my picture, mister."
"Dance?" Raiden asked, seeming interested.
"Yeah! We could turn on some funky music-"
"No one says funky anymore," Kung Lao butted it.
"And make a fun little dance!" Liu Kang continued, ignoring his friend.
Sometimes when Liu Kang was small, they'd have dance time!! So they had a small music player, mostly full of 80s-90s music. Raiden was incredibly good at dancing, so was Liu Kang. Little Raiden didn't dance much, but he enjoyed watching Liu kang dance.
"You wanna dance, kiddo?" Liu Kang asked.
"Blankie dance?" Raiden asked, he didn't wanna take off his blankie.
"I think blankie would love to dance!" Liu Kang agreed. Raiden let him go so Liu Kang could stand up, causing Kung Lao to fuss.
"You ruined my picture- I hope you're happy!" Kung Lao grumbled.
"Very much so," Liu Kang smirked, turning his music player on. "Okay, now we dance!"
Raiden was a very stiff dancer.
To try and help, Liu Kang danced his heart out. Some old 80s moves he liked doing sometimes that made others laugh. (It definitely got Kung Lao to laugh, mostly at him.)
But Raiden kind stood in place, his blankie wrapped around him. Smiling as he watched Liu Kang practically break it down. Kung Lao finished up his picture before joining Raiden's side.
"You know, your supposed to dance too," Kung Lao whispered to the God.
Raiden blinked at him before giving two small hops, looking at Kung Lao happily.
". . . I like that dance, that's a pretty nice dance," Kung Lao praised. "Better than Liu's over there."
"What?!" Liu Kang pouted, causing Raiden to giggle.
"Dance!" Raiden whispered, hopping again. It wasn't really a hop, he barely went onto his toes.
"Oh yeah, I like that dance way better!" Kung Lao nodded, bouncing himself. Although he actually bounced, compared to Raiden's tiny tippy-toe hops.
"You are being so mean tonight," Liu Kang crossed his arms, huffing, "So, so mean."
Raiden frowned, not liking Liu Kang's tone. Liu Kang had meant it in a teasing manner, but it made Raiden upset. He didn't want any conflict, he didn't want Liu to be angry, and he didn't want Lao to be mean.
"Lao, gotta say sorry," Raiden tugged on Kung Lao's shirt.
"What? I didn't do nothing!" Kung Lao pouted. Although he saw the tears that began to well in Raiden's eyes. "I mean . . I'm sorry for being mean tonight Liu."
Liu Kang smirked, sighing dramatically, "Well I guess I can accept this apology of yours, my friend."
". . . And I thought I've been spending too much time with Cage," Kung Lao nudged Raiden, earning a small giggle and a nod.
"Lao, getting sleepy," Raiden fussed, rubbing his puffy, tired eyes.
"You're getting sleepy?" Kung Lao asked, receiving a small nod. "Come on, we'll cuddle in my bed. It's much more comfy than Liu Kang's bed."
"Wha- I wanna join," Liu Kang frowned.
"Let Liu join, pease Lao?" Raiden asked quietly.
"Oh of course I will!" Kung Lao gently hushed him. "I'm not that mean. Of course Liu can come join our cuddle pile."
"I'll get my blanket!" Liu Kang smiled.
The bed was not at all big enough to fit all three of them, especially with Raiden's size. But, somehow, they made it work. Three blankets on top of them, limbs smushed together. Bad bad feelings gone away, and a tiny baby sound asleep in bed.
Fujin was thankful he found him like that. He had been there when Raiden first regressed, tucking him into bed afterward.
The baby must have gotten out to see his two friends. Fujin had been looking throughout the entire sky temple to find where on earth he was.
At least he was safe. A small lecture might be done tomorrow, but probably not.
. . . Especially if Raien was still small when he woke up.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Pt 1
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btswrckd · 1 month
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Secrets and Lies
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Mafia member!Namjoon x Fem!Reader
Summary: Part of the War of Hearts universe! You've spent the last 10 years not really knowing just who your best and only friend actually is or just obsessed he is with you, but when an unexpected threat emerges from your mother's past, he's given an opportunity that he just can't pass up.
Warnings: mentions of violence, mentions of guns and other weapons, mention of death, mention of obsessive behavior, Namjoon's kind of a prick to an old one-night stand
A/N: Ta-da!! It's here!! I'm sure there's more warnings I missed and I'm sorry!! As you guys may know, I've been working on 3 separate fics for the War of Hearts verse and I'm still working on them, but I wasn't sure whose story I wanted to put out first. As I'm bouncing back and forth between the stories, I've finally figured out the order in which I want to put them out. Please enjoy guys!
“Are you going to tell me what, exactly, we’re doing here?” Hoseok yawns from the passenger seat of Namjoon’s sleek black Hyundai. Why Namjoon thought of such a car as “inconspicuous”, Hoseok will never know. Honestly, he was pretty pissed that Namjoon had dragged him out of the house at 4 o’clock in the morning to watch random people come and go from some 24 hour diner that sits just before entering city limits. But when the door opens for the hundredth time and a pile of messy hair sitting in a bun atop the head of a beautiful girl comes bouncing out, he rolls his eyes. Now he knows what the hell they were waiting around for. 
“Seriously, Namjoon,” Hoseok groans and burrows into the heated seat. “Can’t you stalk your girlfriend without me?”
“Shut up,” Namjoon hisses at him. “She’s not my girlfriend.”
“But you are stalking her, correct?” 
“Hobi,” Namjoon warns again, “shut the fuck up.”
He doesn’t hear whatever it is that Hoseok mumbles under his breath, simply shaking his head and turning his attention back to the waitress who’d just finished a 12 hour shift. Without the top of a messy bun flouncing about, he’d have lost you in the mass of cars you were weaving through. You look tired, he notes, exhausted as you slump against the driver door of the beat up old car that you’d been saving up for. He never liked when you took the bus; too many strange men would look your way far too long for his liking. But he didn’t think a car like that would suffice either, even though it meant tracking you was a little easier. 
Your head thumps against the steel door of the small car you’d salvaged from a junkyard. “Still,” you remind yourself, “a junker car is better than no car at all. Definitely smells better than the bus.” It was the third 12 hour shift you’ve worked in a row and still had another 3 to go. To say you were exhausted would be putting it lightly. You’re worn out, both physically and mentally, but you have to keep going. Have to keep making money. Have to pay off the medical bills that only seem to keep racking up. The sound of an obnoxious ringtone blares in the dark parking lot and you jump in place as you recognize it as your own. 
“Shit,” you hiss, fumbling for your cell phone only to find the caller I.D. belonging to none other than your ex-boyfriend. It’s not that you’re ungrateful for him taking on the task of being your mother’s caretaker, it’s that you wish he’d stop trying to use her dwindling health as an excuse to try and get back together. “Minseok,” you answer, vexed. “What is it?”
“Good morning to you too, sunshine,” Minseok snaps back, taking a deep breath to steady himself. After all, catching an attitude with you when he’s trying so hard to get you back is not going to earn him any brownie points. “Hey, so, you just got off work right? Why don’t you stop by and we can have breakfast? Your mom’s been asking to see you.”
“In time,” is all you can say. It’s all you’ve been saying since you were a teenager. Your mother is all you have left and to keep blowing off chances to visit her breaks your heart a little more each time. You love her so much, but the thought of seeing the frail body in place of what once was a strong and healthy woman makes you want to cry. You don’t know how long she has left or why you keep avoiding her, knowing damn well that she’ll be gone soon. You only know that distracting yourself with work doesn’t make you feel as helpless as sitting at home waiting for the inevitable phone call. Minseok is babbling about something, but you don’t catch what it is when the sound of approaching footsteps has you reaching for the pepper spray attached to your key ring. 
Namjoon is amused when you whirl around, pepper spray at the ready even if it is with a shaking grip. He laughs as your shocked face morphs to one of anger and embarrassment. Clearly, you hadn’t expected to be snuck up on in the middle of the parking lot of your job, and that makes him uneasy. You should always be aware of your surroundings. “What are you doing with that, you nut case?”
“Shut the hell up, Joon!” You kick at the loose rocks on the pavement, sending them flying in his direction. “You scared the crap out of me, asshole. What are you doing lurking around a dark parking lot anyways?”
“I could ask you the same thing.” He tilts his head playfully, though there’s no hint of amusement in his tone anymore. You should have gotten in your car and left a long time ago, yet something or someone, namely Minseok, kept you from doing so. He recognized the look on your face when you’d looked at the phone screen. Even from across the lot, he knew who was stupid enough to bother you after a long week of working. With a roll of his eyes, he takes the phone from your hand and ignores your protests.
“Minseok,” he says into the phone, skillfully dodging your attempts to pry it away from him. “How are you?”
“I’m uh,” Minseok sputters, “good. I’m good, I guess. What are you um, what are you doing with Y/N?”
“Me? Oh, nothing really. Just came to pick her up from work. Yeah, she finally scrapped that heap of junk and decided to ride in style. With me. Goodbye, Minseok.” Namjoon ends the call, carelessly tossing the phone back into your waiting hands. Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his slacks, he nods down at you. “Heading home?”
“Trying to.” You prop a hand on your hip and he groans because he knows exactly what’s about to come. “You know I hate it when you do that. Getting under Minseok’s skin does absolutely nothing for you, so why do you do it? And you know he’s the primary caretaker for my mom. Stop trying to piss him off.”
“You never get after him when he pisses me off,” he points out. It was never a secret how much he despised Minseok, especially when you dated that little prick. Nothing makes Namjoon’s blood boil more than the image of Minseok taking you on dates, holding your hand, kissing your skin, touching you wherever he pleased and you allowed. “Anyways, I wasn’t trying to get under his skin. If he feels threatened by me then it’s not really my fault. And what the hell is he still doing taking care of your mom? Isn’t that a conflict of interest?”
“Not everyone at the rehab center knows we dated,” you explain, missing the flash of anger in his eyes. “He’s the only one that mom trusts.”
“You know I can take care of her too.” He braces his large palms against the car door, trapping you between the metal and his body. “I’ve offered a thousand times, Y/N, you always say no.”
“I’ve burdened you enough.” 
Namjoon sees the brief downward tilt of your lips, a frown you try so hard to hide from him. He won’t have it. Tucking his finger beneath your chin, he tilts it up to look you in the eye. “You’re not a burden. Neither is your mother. I’ve told you before that all you have to do is ask and I’ll give you anything you want, Y/N.”
“I just want her to be better,” you whisper, casting your eyes to the floor as they flood with tears. There’s no doubt in your mind that if you were to ask Namjoon for private care, he would gladly take care of it without expecting anything in return. That’s how it’s always been with him though. Always giving but never taking. According to his close friend, Hoseok, that’s how Namjoon’s grown up. You’re not entirely sure what his home life was like when he was a child, but his parents seemed to have done a wonderful job raising him. You can’t honestly say you’ve ever met anyone like him in all your 28 years of life. 
Namjoon’s finger becomes firm in making your eyes meet his once more. His mouth tightens into a thin line and you know he’s trying to hold back his frustration. When he met you in the hallway at the hospital nearly 10 years ago, you’d just learned of your mother’s diagnosis. To say you were distraught would be sugarcoating it. You were absolutely devastated. He remembers how 18-year-old you had slid down the wall with body wracking sobs, but you’d tried to hide it as your mother was just a few feet behind a closed door. You had wailed into your knees after drawing them as close to your body as possible. He had just rounded the corner of the hall, hissing into his phone about the absolute fucking disaster that was Hoseok’s assignment, when he’d seen you and he felt like time had slowed. Something about you, about the heart wrenching way your body curled up that made him feel…protective. It was his job to protect Taehyung, sure, but you were an entirely different story. You had nothing to offer him. No kind of incentive for his comfort. And yet, when he’d walked over and reached out his hand, you’d taken it. Taken it so damn easily and allowed yourself to be comforted by a complete stranger. It was always a mystery to him, how you’d melted into his body without noticing the blood staining his white dress shirt.
“Joon?” your voice cuts through the hazy fog that was his trip down memory lane. Blinking back your tears, you cup his face to bring him back to reality. It hadn’t taken you long to figure out that when Namjoon spaced out, it took a great deal to bring him back. But not with you. Never with you. Because, somehow, your voice and touch, and yours alone could bring him back in a matter of seconds. When his brown eyes finally clear, you smile softly at him.
“Ah, I’m sorry,” he says, taking your wrists in his large hands and running his thumbs along the veins of them. A smirk plays on his lips when he notices you shiver. Not from the cold, but from him. “I’m supposed to be the one comforting you. Not the other way around. What was it that Minseok wanted anyway?”
“To have dinner. Or breakfast. Or, I don’t really know, but I know it had to do with eating in the same vicinity as each other,” you sigh and slump against the cool metal of your car. “I’m not exactly up for it, but I guess I should go. He says mom’s been asking for me, but I–.”
“What an asshole,” comes a familiar voice. One you aren’t exactly expecting, so when you jump, Hoseok’s deep chuckle cuts through the parking lot. You always wondered how he managed to stalk around without making a single noise. You feel Namjoon tense and tighten his hold on your wrists. 
The taller man turns to his friend with a snarl on his face. “A little warning next time, jackass.” 
Hoseok shrugs and purses his lips in an innocent way that makes you giggle. A grin splits his face as Namjoon scowls at him for being able to make you laugh when he himself couldn’t. “It’s late. Or early. Or fucking…whatever. Can we just go now? We kind of have someplace to be, you know.” 
And by someplace, Hoseok means waiting outside of Choi Hyunwoo’s apartment to grab his ass and get back to Taehyung. He quirks his brow up at Namjoon, rolling his eyes when Namjoon ignores him to face you. He turns his back to give you guys some privacy, but fuck if he’ll stand there all day watching Namjoon make goo goo eyes at you. 
“Don’t let Minseok guilt you into seeing him,” Namjoon says, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “I understand that you feel it over not seeing your mother as often as you think you should. It’s why I’m more than happy to set her up with private home care. That way you can also cut down on your part time jobs. They’re wearing you down.”
“Real charming, Joon,” you snort and shove him away. “But you know I can’t take you up on that offer. It wouldn’t feel right if I couldn’t at least help you pay for her care.”
“Then, for the time being,” he says through grit teeth, “at least let me stave off Minseok.” He’s quick to wrap his arms around your waist and haul your chest to his. Your squeak of surprise makes him chuckle and you blush. “Hobi, do me a favor. Take a picture of this.”
You don’t have time to question what the hell he was talking about because he winds his fingers through your hair, tilts your face up, and pretends to slants his lips against yours. You inhale sharply at the contact, fingers digging into his jacket in a death grip, and oddly, found it far too easy to lean into his faux kiss. Your eyes meet the intensity of his brown orbs, bouncing back and forth as if searching for something. Reason, perhaps? Or signs of insanity. Because why the hell else would Namjoon go to such lengths just to get Minseok off your back? 
Namjoon’s gaze deepens, his pupils dilating from the proximity. He can’t seem to remember that it was meant to be fake. He was meant to look like he was kissing you, not actually doing it. But he’d be lying if he told himself he didn’t want to know what your chapstick tastes like. If it’s the usual, nauseating taste. Or if this is one of the rare times you’d reached for the strawberry flavored lip balm. He almost chuckles as he imagines you rummaging through your bedside drawer and plucking your least favorite flavor in your haste to get to work on time. He always tells you to toss the hated flavor in the trash, but you, for whatever reason, never do. Apparently, you only keep it in “just in case” situations. Situations such as running late for work and not having the time to turn your apartment upside down in search of the usual, worn down tube of chapstick. 
Distantly, you recognize the faint sound of a cell phone camera going off, but when Namjoon sweeps the pad of his thumb along your bottom lip, your thighs clench together as the feel of the roughly callused finger sets your body on fire. It’s such a simple gesture and yet, you find yourself unable to catch your breath. When he pulls on your lip as he traces a path down to grip your chin, you rise to the tips of your toes in anticipation. You’re far too ready to kiss him, and a part of you panics when a deep chuckle rumbles in his chest. You flush, embarrassed to have been caught leaning into his touch so shamelessly. You consider punching him as you usually do when he manages to fluster you, but then he presses in further, his own plump lips skimming across your mouth in an almost kiss that has you panting with need. Your eyelids become heavy and they close as pure, unadulterated desire pounds deep in your bones and your fingers card through his soft hair. You feel him shiver against the feel of your nails gently scratching the hair at the nape of his neck. 
Namjoon knows he has to gain control of the situation soon. It was spiraling, and quickly, and he was more than willing to allow it to happen. But he doesn’t want the first of many kisses to come, be one that stems from him trying to piss off your ex-boyfriend. Because there will be more to come. He will taste you properly and he will continue to do so until you say otherwise. You, and only you, have the kind of control over him that no one ever has. Not even Taehyung. 
“Namjoon,” you whisper and you swear an actual groan leaves his mouth because your lips bump against his as you speak. “Please,” you beg even though you’re sure this is an entirely bad idea. Heat pools in your lower belly as you press up against him, his thigh slotting between the apex of your legs, a noise of excitement leaving your throat as he leans in.
“I’m only going to stand here for so long to watch you guys pretend to swap spit,” Hoseok comments in irritation. “It’s hot, sure, but we’ve got more important things to do, Namjoon.”
When Namjoon parts from you, the both of you are panting, breaths mingling in the cold night air. His hand moves from the nape of your neck to slide down along the line of your jaw. His thumb sweeps across your cheek softly and he takes his time to look over your flushed face and heaving chest. Your eyes are still closed, making his chest swell with pride when one shift of his body makes your fingers tighten in his hair. 
You don’t even notice you’ve done it, not until you finally open your eyes to find that you are the one keeping him in place. Quickly, you release him and try to create some distance, but you only bump into your car door. You want to be angry with him. You want to question what the hell he was thinking. But most of all, you want to understand why it didn’t bother you nearly as much as you thought it would. You’d known him since you were 18 and never once had it crossed your mind that he’d ever find you attractive. The same couldn’t be said for you, though, because you’d always harbored a small crush on him. You’d thought dating Minseok would quell that ache for Namjoon’s attention, but it really didn’t and you kind of felt bad when a small part of you wondered what Namjoon’s hand would feel like in place of Minseok’s on your skin. 
“Send this to him,” Namjoon’s deep voice startles you while he holds out Hoseok’s phone. He watches, amused, as you stare at the picture on the phone. He can see your mind working in overtime as you process the seemingly loving embrace Hoseok managed to capture. “Minseok’s always thought you and I were together at some point, or even hooked up, so it’s not that odd to see us like this.”
“No, you can’t!” you squeak and try to snatch the phone from his hand. That attempt fails as he easily maneuvers out of reach. “Don’t send that, Namjoon!”
Hoseok snatches the phone from Namjoon’s hand and stalks off back to the car. He’s mumbling something under his breath that you can’t make sense of and slams the car door once he’s inside. Sinking down into the seat, he leans his head against the window to rest comfortably in hopes of getting some sleep. 
“I have to go.” Namjoon sounds reluctant to leave as he steps away. He knows Hoseok already sent the picture to Minseok so there was no backing out now. In fact, Minseok should be calling you any second and he wishes he could stick around for that conversation, but Hoseok was right. If he didn’t leave now, then they’d miss Hyunwoo and the last thing they need is Taehyung tearing into them for screwing up. “Minseok will be calling soon. Ignore it, go home, get some sleep. I’ll check on you later.”
“But, I–.” you try to protest as he walks off and right on cue, your phone rings with irritating familiarity. “Damn it.”
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“Why are you fucking with your own feelings just to piss off Minseok?” Hoseok questions Namjoon on the ride back home. He pays no mind to the muffled groaning coming from Hyunwoo lying on the floor of the van they’d swapped into later that morning. “It’s only going to get worse from here now. You know that, right?”
“Shut up,” Namjoon grumbles from the driver seat. He can’t say Hoseok’s wrong, he hardly ever is, but Namjoon isn’t willing to admit that. His grip on the steering wheel tightens as the memory of your lips and your touch, it all comes to the forefront of his mind and makes his chest tight. He had hoped that you did as he said and went home to get some sleep, but one quick peek at your Snapchat story revealed a breakfast plate filled with eggs and toast smothered in strawberry jam. Your mother’s favorite.
“You’re still pissed off that she went to breakfast with Minseok?”
“She didn’t go with Minseok. She went to see her mom.”
“Right,” Hoseok hums delightedly, “her mother. Who is currently being taken care of by who, again? Oh, right. Minseok.”
Namjoon uses the rearview mirror to glance back at his friend with a scowl. He knew he should have left his dumb ass back at home with Yoongi after he helped them pull the van from one of his family’s many junk yards. “You can join Hyunwoo in his misery, or you can shut the fuck up.”
Hoseok tosses his head back in howling laughter as Namjoon pulls through the security gates of Taehyung’s home. Pulling up to the front of the house, he gets out of the car to meet Taehyung and Yoongi at the passenger side door. He draws open the side door to reveal Hyunwoo bound, gagged, and covered in bruises. “Hoseok went a little…overboard.”
Yoongi’s low toned whistle makes him wince because he knows that Yoongi knows his lie was complete bullshit. “Damn, RM, you really did a number on this guy.”
“He tried to run,” Namjoon says as if it’s that simple of an explanation. When Yoongi shoots him a knowing look, he rolls his eyes towards the sky. That was, in fact, not what had happened and he had used it as a not so believable excuse to beat the shit out of Hyunwoo. It was a means to vent his frustration and Hoseok had let it happen without complaint. Then again, Hoseok never really complained about any  kind of violence. Save for the few domestic ones he’d seen over the years. Oh, he’d always let his knife or gun do the talking then. 
Taehyung climbs into the passenger seat and taps on the window as a sign for them to hurry the hell up before his wife comes storming outside. His phone rings while Yoongi jumps in the back with Hoseok and Hyunwoo. He answers it with a smirk on his face while Namjoon reclaims his seat behind the wheel. 
Namjoon isn’t entirely sure what the conversation is about but it was pretty amusing to watch Hyunwoo lose his shit. When Taehyung throws out an innuendo that clearly has his wife panicking, he tries to hide his smile as Taehyung pulls the phone from his ear and stares at it.
“She hung up on me,” Taehyung comments in disbelief. He really shouldn’t be surprised that Nabi would hang up on him after his little quip, or the fact that she hadn’t entirely forgiven him for their fight last night. But if there’s one thing Namjoon’s come to learn in the decades of friendship with his six brothers, it’s that they’re all the smartest people he knows…and the dumbest. It’s a good balance of brains and stupidity, it keeps things fresh. 
“I’m shocked she didn’t do more than yell at you last night,” Namjoon laughs. “Or that you didn’t kill Yoongi for being an instigator.”
“What good would it do me to be rid of him?” Taehyung catches Yoongi’s eye in the mirror. “But he is lucky I didn’t at least shoot him for it.”
“Jimin was the one who made it worse by giving you the spare key to your guys’ room,” Yoongi defends himself with a roll of his eyes. “Did it not get worse after you opened that door and Nabi nearly tore your head off?”
“Jimin’s not out of the woods either.” Taehyung scrolls through his phone, swiping through picture after picture that Hoseok had sent him earlier. Each of them include Hyunwoo stalking down various streets in his attempt to follow one of Nabi’s best friends. He thumbs through each one until…
“Is this a picture of you kissing Y/N, Namjoon?” Taehyung’s eyebrows shoot so far up that they nearly disappear into his hairline. 
“Hoseok!” Namjoon barks back at his friend. “I said send it to Minseok, not broadcast it to everyone we know.”
Hoseok shrugs from his spot in the back. “As I recall, I said I wasn’t going to stand around all day while you guys made out. But you made me wait anyway. So, that’s on you.”
“My god, Namjoon, you really didn’t hold back, did you?” Yoongi is too busy peeking over Taehyung’s shoulder to notice Namjoon holding up his middle finger. 
“Clearly, she didn’t either,” Taehyung notes, turning slightly so Yoongi can get a better look. 
“Stop it,” Namjoon hisses, reaching out to take the phone from Taehyung. “You guys are like fucking children. It’s a wonder how Nabi can stand the two of you.”
“You’re awfully angry for someone who kissed the girl he’s been pining after for 10 years,” comes Yoongi’s voice.
“I didn’t really kiss her,” Namjoon growls low in his throat and contemplates shoving Yoongi out of the moving van. “And I haven’t been fucking pining, you prick.”
“Someone’s pretty fucking testy this morning,” his senior hisses back, having had enough of Namjoon’s pissy attitude. 
“He’s just pissed that she spent the morning with Minsoek,” Hoseok not so helpfully supplies. “Apparently the picture didn’t do much to deter the poor bastard from asking her out again. Remind me why it ended between them again?”
Namjoon grips the wheel so tight that his arm shakes with barely restrained anger. Your relationship with Minseok ended on a relatively civil note. Something that always bothered Namjoon because it would have been easier for you to let go of him, or for Minseok to let go of you if things had just ended badly. But that hadn’t been the case. At least not from what you’d told him. You’d called him one night and, in an eerily calm voice, explained that Minseok had broken up with you. All of the time spent apart because of your part time jobs and having to tend to your mother had finally made him snap. You’d gone on to say that you weren’t really sure why you’d been so surprised. After all, Namjoon had been hinting at it for months but you’d never taken it seriously. It hadn’t bothered you that Minseok chose to part ways, maybe that’s why it angered Minseok when you didn’t want to reconcile. Maybe a part of him thought and still thinks that you didn’t care for him as much as he was led to believe. 
Good, Namjoon thinks to himself. Good, because fuck Minseok and fuck his selfishness for leaving you at your most vulnerable, and then turning around and hoping to get back together. Namjoon will be damned before that ever happens.
He tunes back into the conversation when it steers to Nabi’s best friend, Soyoung, whom Hyunwoo had been tailing. They inform him that Soyoung can be just as cruel as Nabi if not more, and Hyunwoo seems caught off guard. Namjoon finds it easy to fall into the cruel amusement his boss and friends have at Hyunwoo’s expense. That is, until Yoongi brings up the subject of what you and Minseok could have possibly been up to if you weren’t answering Namjoon’s calls or texts. Namjoon quickly shuts down once more, sneering at Yoongi’s reflection in the mirror.
“Damn,” Hoseok sighs and pockets his switchblade as they come up on Taehyung’s father’s building. “Now you guys have done it. He’ll be pissy the rest of the day now.”
“Us?” Yoongi hisses, pushing Hoseok’s shoulder roughly as they scramble out of the van. “You’re the one who brought it up first, dumbass.”
“You didn’t have to mention that she hasn’t responded, dipshit.”
“Enough,” Taehyung hushes them as they walk through the back doors of his father’s building. He doesn’t often use them, but given how they’re still holding Hyunwoo hostage, he doesn’t really have a choice now. “We’ll talk about this later,” he addresses Namjoon after stepping into the elevator.
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Namjoon thanks whatever higher power that keeps Taehyung occupied with the Seong brothers at lunch so he can thumb through his phone once more. He’s been waiting all fucking day for you to answer his call, which is yet to happen. He knows he said you needed to get sleep, but damn it, he wishes he could go and check on you. That, and the fact that he and Taehyung are still reeling from their earlier argument is on his mind. Taehyung’s plan to put Nabi and Hyunwoo in the same room as each other while giving Hyunwoo the freedom to move about honestly scares Namjoon. It’s clear that Nabi is capable of handling herself against any normal person, but Hyunwoo has grown up in the center of the mafia, being spoiled and coddled so much by his father that he believed he was entitled to anything he wanted. This included Nabi. It makes Namjoon’s stomach turn sour at the thought of putting Nabi in a situation that could potentially destroy her strong mindset. But Taehyung has all the faith in the world in his wife and Namjoon can’t blame him. Nabi is the furthest thing from timid and weak.   
Thunder crashes in the sky above and lightning follows, leaving their entire party to rush inside the cafe Nabi’s chosen to eat at. As they filter inside, Yoongi is hissing underneath his breath about getting caught in the rain while he shucks his jacket off to lay across an empty table. Jungkook and Jimin don’t miss the opportunity to piss him off further by shaking their hair about and spraying water everywhere. 
“Damn it,” Hoseok seethes at the two youngest, resisting the urge to slap one or both of them upside the head. “Can you two be any less civilized?”
“Jungkook!” Namjoon slaps his shoulder after the youngest wrings out his jacket over top of Hoseok’s head. As if Hoseok wasn’t one of the most dangerous men in the city. “Behave.”
Jungkook snorts in response and sets his jacket flat over the same table Yoongi has his splayed about. He’s the only one of them to not notice Taehyung drag Nabi off towards the bathrooms and Namjoon’s eye twitches when the Seong brothers do notice and 4 out of the 5 men move to stop them from following Taehyung and Nabi. It would be alot easier if Jungkook would pull his head out of his ass and get it together. 
“You can’t really expect us to stand here and do nothing?” Joongki, the oldest Seong brother and Nabi’s cousin, tries to shove past Namjoon.
“Unless you want to walk in on a very intimate moment,” Hoseok warns him while wrangling Jeonghan, Nabi’s other cousin, to an empty booth. “I suggest you sit the hell down and leave them be.”
“Nabi will be embarrassed enough without the two of you storming in there.” Yoongi grips Joongki’s shoulder and helps Namjoon shove him into the other side of the booth. “Know and understand this, Taehyung cherishes your cousin more than any of us here. There’s not a damn thing in this world that could stop him from giving her anything and everything she wants and needs. He will not hurt her, he will not coerce her into what’s happening, and he for damn sure will absolutely not touch her without her express permission.”
“Joongki,” Namjoon catches his attention, “I know you’re smarter than this. I know you would not have let Taehyung put Nabi under our roof if you thought we couldn’t keep her safe. None of us would let Taehyung hurt her. Jungkook nearly got himself killed multiple times just for stepping in between their arguments. Don’t lose your cool because you can’t handle that Nabi’s a grown woman.”
Finally, the Seong brothers seem to accept the words Yoongi and Namjoon speak, and Namjoon sighs in relief now that he can check his phone again. Still, nothing from you and it makes his blood boil. “Son of a bitch,” he grumbles, dialing your phone number and pressing it to his ear. “I swear to God, if you don’t fucking pick up…”
“Yeah?” Your breathless voice hits his ears like a symphony and all of the blood rushes to his groin. You’re met with absolute silence and pull the phone back to check if Namjoon had hung up. “Joon? You there?”
He coughs as his throat dries up and attempts to clear it in hopes of not sounding so gruff when he answers, “I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”
“Just a little,” you huff out another breathless laugh. “It’s okay though. I had to get up and get some grocery shopping done before my shift at the diner tonight.”
“You should have done that after your breakfast with Minseok,” he growls, letting his temper get the best of him. “Then you could have slept longer.”
“I slept long enough.” You know he can practically hear your eye roll. “Joon, I didn’t have breakfast with Minseok. I went to visit my mother and he was there. He does happen to work there, you know.”
“Didn’t seeing my tongue down your throat scare him off?” he snaps back in response. “Didn’t it piss him off the way it pisses me off that he really thinks he has a chance after I sent you to him wet and ready for me?”
“Namjoon!” you gasp, clenching your thighs together as you had earlier that morning. What had gotten into him? He’s never spoken to you this way and while it did get you a little hot and bothered, it also reminds you of the almost kiss you’d shared. Something that most definitely should not have happened. It left you wanting much more and knowing you can’t have it. It’s a line you swore you’d never cross with Namjoon, not when he was your oldest and only friend. It would complicate things and you couldn’t handle losing him if it tore the friendship apart.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” his voice cuts through your thoughts, making your heartbeat skyrocket. “I’m so sorry, Y/N, that wasn’t okay for me to say. I’m just—.”
“It’s fine,” you cut him off, not wanting to hear whatever explanation he has for momentarily forgetting you were his best friend, not one of the usual girls he sleeps with. “Look, Namjoon, I have to go. It’s going to get late and I won’t be able to get everything done that I need to.”
“Y/N, wait. I—.”
“And don’t stop by the diner tonight.” You’re adamant in this because a few of your co-workers had spotted him this morning and texted you to ask if you’d been dating again. You don’t need them to think you’re attached to anyone, especially not Namjoon of all people. It would only make things awkward when he inevitably got a long time girlfriend and you were stuck having to explain everything. 
“Why the fuck not?” Namjoon tries his best to keep his voice down, but he’s not doing a very good job as Mr. and Mrs. Kim’s heads whip his way. “The area around the diner is dangerous, Y/N, I’ll be damned if anything happens to you.” He’s seething and it shows in his voice after hearing his full name from your lips. He’d learned long ago that if he made you angry enough, you would forgo his nickname in favor of his full name, and he never realized how much he hated hearing you say it until right this moment. “Where is this coming from?”
“People will talk, Namjoon,” you mumble, scooting to the edge of your bed in search of your pajama shorts. Your air conditioner has been on the fritz lately and it picks and chooses when to work. Today, it decided it did not want to work. Though it was still nice and cool outside, your apartment was like a damn furnace since the window latch had been broken. Admittedly, you don’t live in the greatest building with the greatest landlord. Or the greatest part of town. But it’s a roof over your head, so you can’t really complain. Namjoon had lost his shit time and time again when it came to your apartment so you decided to stop telling him all of its issues entirely. 
“So, let them talk,” he growls, turning away from Yoongi’s questioning gaze. His stare, in turn, had the rest of the guys and Taehyung’s parents staring as well. It makes Namjoon tense up when they notice he’s losing this argument. “Don’t take that chance just because I pissed you off, Y/N. Don’t push me away and shut me out because I’m being an asshole. That’s my fault and I’m sorry. But don’t…” he sighs heavily and pinches the bridge of his nose. He can hear the rustling of your sheets as you move about your bed. His throat bobs at the thought of what the hell you could be doing to make that much noise. “Just don’t, baby, please.”
Baby.
He called you baby and a part of you softens at the pet name. The other part of you gets angry that he would try to manipulate you by saying it. You’ve watched him charm girl after girl when he got bored enough and every single time, they fell for it. You hated it. Hated how they got to see a part of him he would never show you because of your friendship. Hated that he was using those same tactics now to manipulate you into forgiving him. Your chest feels tight and there’s a hitch in your breath when you tell him, “I don’t want people to think we’re together. It’s bad enough Minseok bought into the picture Hobi sent him. I don’t need my coworkers thinking I’m ready to date again. Especially not you.”
He takes offense to that. So much so that his knuckles curl into a fist, one that’s two seconds away from meeting the wall in front of him until Jimin taps his shoulder. It’s enough to make him look up and find that everyone was ready to go after the rain finally settled. Poor Nabi looks ready to combust, her entire face as red as a tomato, and Taehyung looks too fucking smug for Namjoon’s liking. He hangs up without bidding you goodbye because if he opens his mouth to say anything at all, it’ll only upset you even more. Especially not him? What the fuck was that supposed to mean? 
His life was never meant for someone permanent or special to be invited into. Not with the constant danger lurking around every corner, or the men he regularly spends time around because of Taehyung and his own family ties into the mafia. While his father treats his mother like a goddess, and Taehyung does the same with Nabi, Namjoon couldn’t see himself treating anyone with that kind of respect while you were around. You occupy too many of his thoughts. He’s aware that all of this falls on him. His unyielding thought process of never fully committing to someone because of you, is entirely his own fucking fault, and he knows it. His parents would be ashamed of him if he were to ever marry and be unfaithful. Then again, who would he be unfaithful with if not you? You’d never allow it. You have too much self respect to ever be the other woman. It’s one of the things Namjoon respects the most about you. Some women didn’t care if they were some man’s side piece in the mob. It meant expensive gifts, expensive trips, hell, some men even bought their mistresses homes in order to keep them happy. It wasn’t odd for it to happen, but Namjoon had taken great care to surround himself with people fully devoted to treating women as more than just play things. He never thought he’d ever actually find friends like that, until he’d met Taehyung, and then Yoongi, and Hoseok, and so on. 
He’s never told you what he does for “work” and you’ve never really asked. He can never truly tell you the truth unless he was willing to drag you into his life completely. Obviously, he really is ready, but you’d never plunge into this life head first without thinking of the consequences. It’s a dangerous line to toe and he knows he shouldn’t push, but clearly Minseok had said something to make you doubt him. Minseok had always made you second guess the things Namjoon did and said, and you’d cave under the guilty weight of taking Namjoon’s side over your boyfriends. Minseok had been able to weasel his way into your life and shove Namjoon out to the brink of Namjoon nearly storming to Minseok’s house with Hoseok and Jimin in tow. 
Damn. He has to get you away from Minseok. And soon. Because if he wormed his way underneath your skin, Namjoon would well and truly kill him this time.
Parting ways with Mrs. Kim’s car filled with Nabi, her cousins, Jimin, and Jungkook, Namjoon plopped into the driver's side of the van they’d arrived in. Taehyung, Yoongi, and Hoseok follow suit, all silently climbing into the car in a much more gingerly manner than Namjoon himself had. Taehyung, while still sexed out of his mind, still had the decency to ask if his friend was alright.
“Sounded pretty intense,” Hoseok said from the back seat, eyeing Namjoon’s rigid form. “What did Y/N say to piss you off so much? Because the last time I saw that look in your eye, we nearly wiped out the entire Lee family. They still haven’t forgiven us, by the way. Mr. Kim’s got them nearly beating down his door to get to you, Namjoon.”
The tall man pretends not to hear a word Hoseok says because of course he remembers. He’d gotten into a fight with you then too. He vividly remembers how you’d questioned his lengthy absence when you never had before. You’d always figured his business was his alone and you shouldn’t butt in. But that time, Minseok had managed to convince you that Namjoon simply didn’t want to be around because of Minseok’s presence. While that rang true, Namjoon couldn’t exactly tell you that he’d been sent on an assignment to the Maldives with Hoseok to deal with a shipment the Lee family was in control of. He’d been gone for almost an entire month when you finally called, only to ask if he’d tired of you. He could remember the sound of your voice cracking as you tried to hold back tears. He had tried to explain, tried to tell you that it was for work, but he could hear Minseok’s mousy fucking voice in the background, taunting you in a sickeningly sweet way that only he could. You’d said your goodbyes to Namjoon, almost sounding final, and Namjoon. Had. Gone. Feral. Absolutely apeshit and cut down a good portion of the Lee men because he’d been pissed. Later, he’d told Taehyung that the family was indeed skimming some of the product, which was why he’d been sent to the Maldives in the first place. He’d silently cursed Taehyung back then, well and truly hated the man that had become his brother, and for what? A stupid argument that Minseok had incited? 
Taehyung clocks Namjoon’s grip on the wheel and winces at how his friend is about to lose all self control and possibly kill what little is left of the Choi family. For Namjoon to completely lose himself again, means that whatever is bothering him has to do with you. Taehyung almost feels bad for him, and he would offer some advice if he didn’t have bigger problems at hand. What he can do is try to free up some time for Namjoon to work things out however he needs to. Though, if this is anything like the situation with the Lee family, Taehyung can’t imagine the hell Namjoon will rain down on the poor sucker stupid enough to even so much as slightly push the wrong button. It would be a bloodbath of epic proportions and Taehyung runs a hand down his face at the thought. They can’t afford for Namjoon to be distracted right now, but it was inevitable. Every so often, Namjoon loses focus and becomes completely and utterly consumed by you. Even if you don’t know it. 
Yoongi watches Hyunwoo raise a curious brow at Namjoon’s behavior and the tense silence compared to the friendly banter earlier. When he turns to meet Yoongi’s stare, Yoongi sneers at him so viciously that it makes Hyunwoo visibly recoil. He smirks and looks out the front windshield, watching the buildings pass by in a blur. He can see the cogs in the machine that is Namjoon’s genius brain turn and turn. Something had to have gone completely wrong with you if it’s gotten this bad again. He can see Namjoon’s pupils dilate with the rush of adrenaline he’s sure to unleash on Hyunwoo if he makes one wrong move. He’s quite sure that Namjoon almost hopes the Choi family fucks up so it’ll give him a reason to go nuts. Namjoon lives on fear and chaos, it’s one of the things that made him so frightening and dangerous. It’s one of the many things Taehyung had sought him out for as teenagers. By that age, Namjoon had quite the body count and truthfully, if he and Hoseok had to go toe to toe, everyone knows it would be pretty damn close. What makes him even more scary is that no one would ever be able to tell how much blood stains his hands because of his cool and calm demeanor. 
Hoseok almost pays no mind to Namjoon’s disheveled state as he plays with his switchblade, every so often leaning over to knick Hyunwoo’s skin. It was almost torture and Hoseok knows if anyone could appreciate it, it’s Namjoon. However, with Namjoon’s lack of self awareness, Hoseok finds that he must enjoy this by himself. Really, he’s worried that Namjoon’s going to go on a rampage again. It took them forever to clean up the mess in the Maldives. Not to mention the complete shitshow that followed and Mr. Kim had to sort out enough for there to be some sense of civility. Goddamn it, he really doesn’t need another disaster on his hands. The Choi family better pray for themselves because God only knows what Namjoon is cooking up in his head. 
Namjoon’s phone rings in the silence and actually makes Taehyung jump a little. He glances down to find the name “Hana” in bold letters taking up the screen. Namjoon lets it go to voicemail because Taehyung’s sure that it isn’t exactly the name he wants to pop up on his phone right now. He doesn’t know who the girl is, but if you catch wind of it, then it won’t be good. The phone rings again and Namjoon picks it up with some bite in his tone.
“What?” Namjoon snaps.
“Oh, hey,” Hana purrs back, giggling even though she can tell how mad he is. “Are you busy? I’m kind of bored and thought—.”
“We fucked once, Hana,” he sneers, “and it wasn’t exactly memorable for me, so find a different dick to suck.”
“Fuck you, Namjoon!” she screeches at his audacity. “You know, I don’t exactly remember you complaining when I sucked your dick, you asshole! Here’s a tip, Namjoon, maybe don’t be a complete prick the next time a woman reaches out to satisfy you. There won’t be many left if you continue on like that.”
“You’re a placeholder, Hana.” Namjoon smirks and the guys in the van inwardly groan because now some poor girl is about to get the brunt of his wrath. “I don’t want anyone else, just one girl, and she’s not you. Maybe some small, pathetic part of you had hoped you were special but you’re really not. I was drunk and bored and you were willing to spread your legs for me, so fuck off.”
Taehyung winces as Namjoon slams his phone back on the center console. Jesus fucking Christ, that was brutal. Namjoon’s not exactly a saint but he’s very rarely crude to a girl. Whatever you’d argued about must have messed him up good if he was speaking that way to someone. They reach the house just after Nabi’s car gets there and Taehyung basically leaps out of the van to usher his wife from the car. 
Namjoon locks eyes with Nabi for a second before he turns his glare to Taehyung because not only does he have to deal with the Choi family, he’s still steaming from his conversation with you. He doesn’t see Nabi frown, only concentrating on getting Hyunwoo into the house without her seeing. He shoves Hyunwoo harder than necessary when Yoongi has to prod him forward with a gun. God, he can only hope this was enough to release some of the tension simmering beneath his skin.
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You’re almost halfway through grocery shopping when a sense of dread settles in your chest. You don’t know what it is or how it was even brought on, but you know there’s something not right. You round the corner of the canned food aisle, determined to get away from whatever it was when you bump into a firm chest. Strong hands reach out to steady you while your breath catches. You look up to find a handsome stranger with the oddest smile on his face. It’s not menacing but it certainly isn’t friendly either. “Sorry,” you mumble, taking a step back to create some much needed distance. 
He only smiles wider, raking a hand through his dark hair and waving his hand dismissively. “Oh, it’s not a problem at all. It’s my fault, actually. I wasn’t watching where I was going. Are you alright?”
“Um, yeah, I’m fine.” You blink up at him, unsure of whether or not you should even keep talking to him. Namjoon always hated the way you’d become friendly with anyone, especially strangers. You’d called him out on it once, insisting that he was just being paranoid, but he didn’t budge. He always says no one can be trusted, but then you wonder what exactly makes him so trustworthy, or why he trusts you at all. The thought of your best friend sends a pang through your heart and you frown. Maybe you shouldn’t have been so harsh with him earlier. He was only trying to help, but you let your insecurities shine through and lashed out at him. 
“Kang Chunghee,” he says, offering his hand in greeting. He can see the apprehension on your face even as you take his hand in yours and shake it. Taking a step too close, he towers over you in a way that almost makes you cower away. His eyes roam down your body from head to toe, but you’re so busy looking everywhere but him that you don’t notice. Your hair, he notes, and face look so much like your mother’s that it’s a wonder why you hadn’t been spotted before now. Then again, his father wasn’t exactly looking to make trouble with the Kim family, but he’d found out about your mother’s illness and insisted on seeking you out. His hand tightens briefly, making you wince, as the memories of his own mother begging his father to leave “that woman” be and come back home to her. He never did, of course, and soon sent Chunghee’s mother spiraling into a world of drugs and alcohol. Both of which killed her not long after your birth. 
“Cho Y/N,” you reply with a hiss, trying to pull your hand from his. It takes a moment for him to realize he’d been holding on too tight and quickly drops your hand. You take this chance to scan his face and realize he looks vaguely familiar but you can’t quite place it anywhere. He could just be one of the many patrons that have come and gone from the diner. You meet so many people at your job that it’s not entirely out of the ordinary to run into someone while out and about. As if on cue, your phone rings and you scramble for it in hopes that it’s Namjoon and you can apologize, but you’re disappointed to find that it’s your manager instead. You give Chunghee a polite smile before stepping away to answer the call. She only asks if you can come in a bit early as one of the other waitresses has called in sick. You sigh and check your watch to ask for some extra time to go home and get ready. Throughout the entire conversation, you notice that Chunghee hasn’t left your side at all, and you tense up when he steps closer once more after ending your phone call. 
“Ah, I have to apologize,” he says and takes a step back to give you some space. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“Um.” You shift on the balls of your feet, clutching your phone tight in your hand and contemplating calling Namjoon. You shake your head. No. His paranoia is simply rubbing off on you and this guy hasn’t really done anything to offend or scare you other than being a little too interested. You remind yourself that at one point, Minseok had been the same way before he finally worked up the courage to ask you out on a date. “I really should get going.”
“Oh, of course.” Chunghee gestures for you to go ahead and walk on, bidding you goodbye with a simple wave. Once you round the corner to the registers, his smile slowly fades into a grimace. If your mother is as beautiful as you are, then he can see why his father was tempted by her. His chest grows tight and bile rises in his throat that he has to swallow down. As a child he’d always wondered why his father could so easily cast him and his mother aside. Looking at you now, he sees exactly why. He’s only ever seen photos of your mother and none of you, but his father had told him it’s because he didn’t even know you existed. Not until your mother had grown sick and you’d somehow gotten tangled up in one of the notorious Kim family’s webs. Fool, he thinks of you. If only you had never come up on the Kim family’s radar then you never would have come up on his father’s. Or, he supposes, he’s your father as well. 
He gives you all of 2 minutes to get ahead of him before he stalks out of the grocery store to see you climb into a junker car that he can’t even fathom why it would even still exist. He slips into his own car, a much nicer one, and peels out of the parking lot just a little after you do. He takes turn after turn and a muscle in his jaw ticks when it dawns on him that you don’t even notice you’re being followed, and even worse, his eye visibly twitches after parking down the street from a rundown building that you seem to be living in. “For fuck’s sake,” he sighs to himself, running a hand down his face. He’s meant to hate you, to loathe your mother for stealing away his father’s attention and causing his mother to lose her damn mind. But a twinge of guilt eats away at him. His father was never the greatest man, but Chunghee’s certainly lived a much more lavish life than you have. His father may have laid his hands on him quite a few times during his childhood, but you’re so carefree that he’s actually envious, and even still, he feels bad that you’ve had to go nights hungry while he was gifted with so much food that he didn’t know what to do with it. He was 28 when he’d learned of your existence and by then you were already 18, living paycheck to paycheck and working yourself to the bone to afford your mother’s medical costs. Until that point, he and his father had always wondered where your mother had disappeared to. According to his father, she’d up and left one day, leaving behind most of her belongings for the obvious reason that she never wanted to be found again. She’d even changed her name and lived 18 blissful long years in the shadows. 
Chunghee can only wonder how she’d never figured out who his father was until it was too late. If he’s correct in his math, she’d already been pregnant with you when she skipped town. Which means she had to have found out that his father was both married and a dangerous man. He can commend her for wanting to protect you, which was far more than his father was willing to do for him. If you weren’t somehow tied to the Kim family, then Kang Himchan would have swooped in and stolen you away long ago. But with Kim Namjoon hovering around so often, the older Kang could only grit his teeth and turn a blind eye if he didn’t want to overstep and start problems. 
He’s pulled from his thoughts when you emerge from the building, basically running, and jump in your car to speed off. He looks at the clock on his dashboard, guessing that you took far longer than you thought you would to get ready. He gives you a few extra miles before he starts down the same road you’d gone, following along until he reaches the diner just before exiting the city. It’s far, he realizes as another glance at the clock shows that it took almost an hour to get there. He’d paid no mind to the time when he’d scouted out the diner last night. He’d come out on a whim, wondering if you were well and truly under the Kim family protection, and snorted when you’d gone the entire night without so much as a hint of the Kims around. When you’d left for the night, he’d gotten out of his car to confront you, but then Namjoon had shown up, and Chunghee had frozen in place. He’d been wrong because not only had the Kims been hidden in the literal dark, Jung Hoseok had been lying in wait as well. Anyone in this line of work knows who Hoseok is, and if he’s hovering around you, then this is going to be far more complicated than he first thought. He’s tempted to go sit in the diner, but after the disaster that was the interaction in the grocery store, he doesn’t want to give you a reason to contact Namjoon. So he waits. For hours. 14, to be exact, and he finds himself shifting in his seat every 10 minutes. Why the hell he feels so inclined to sit around for your entire shift, he doesn’t know, but you have to be tired out by now. How the hell would it look if he’s the one that’s exhausted when you’re the one who’s been running around on your feet all day?
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You can feel it. You don’t know what it is or where it’s coming from, but you know you’re being watched. It’s unnerving, and while you’re trying your best to get through your shift, you also want to find out who could be watching. Not wanting to let them know you’re on to them, you keep plowing through orders and customers, running hot plates from the kitchen, cleaning off tables and kitchen utensils, and itching to reach for your phone to text Namjoon. But he hasn’t reached out to you either, making a small part of you actually want to cry because you’ve upset him. It’s not often that he gets angry with you, but when he does, it never takes very long for you to apologize or for him to check on you even if he is mad. So for him to go the entire day without contacting you is terrifying. Especially when you know something is wrong. When your shift is finally over, you say your goodbyes to your coworkers and check your phone as you head to your car. Your shoulders deflate with disappointment, thoughts swirling in your head, so much so that they drown out the sound of approaching feet. Fingers tap on your shoulder, and you whirl around with an ear piercing scream, only to have someone slap their hand over your mouth.
Hoseok looks at you with a raised brow, a little concerned with your pale face and the sweat beading down by your temples. You’re scared and he doesn’t like that. He removes his hand from your mouth, watching as your bottom lip wobbles in an attempt to hold back a sob. He grips your arms tighter than he means to. “What happened?”
You heave out a sigh of relief, shaking your head to clear your thoughts. “Oh, Hobi. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scream like that.”
“You obviously had a reason to, so help me out here, and tell me what could have scared you so much.”
“It’s nothing,” you promise even though you know you shouldn’t lie. Hoseok’s always been good at telling when someone’s lying and you’re not entirely sure why you even tried. You watch him scan the dark parking lot anyways, fingers nearly bruising your skin with the force of his grip. You wince out loud, regaining his attention and he lets go of you. 
“I’m sorry.” He frowns, reaching up to pat down your messy hair. “I came to check on you. Namjoon’s been out of it all day and I know you guys fought.”
“It was stupid,” you whisper, casting your eyes to the ground in shame. Hoseok showing up on Namjoon’s behalf means that your best friend isn’t anywhere near ready to speak to you again. You really screwed up this time if he sent Hoseok all the way out here when he could have just called you himself. You feel awful that Hoseok even drove all the way out here in person just because you’re having a difficult time processing everything from the day before. The way Namjoon held you and looked at you, it was far better than you ever imagined, and you let your insecurities get the best of you. You’re doing what you’ve always done when someone gets too close. You’re pushing him away like you used to when you were dating Minseok. The two of you had fought more than usual while you were with Minseok, and this fight reminds you of those times. 
“It can’t be that stupid if you guys are this messed up over it.” Hoseok keeps petting your hair with affection, but he’s not fooled. Something else is going on here and you’re not being honest with him. He’s scared you before, albeit playfully, but even when he’d done it in earnest, you’ve never reacted that way. He’ll have to bring it up with Namjoon and hopefully it’ll be enough to pull his head out of his ass. After the disastrous confrontation between Nabi, the Choi family, and Taehyung, Namjoon had been even more on edge and left the house. Hoseok had assumed he’d come to tail you, but he wasn’t picking up his phone, so Hoseok drove out here to check. He’d grown worried when he got to the diner and didn’t see Namjoon’s car anywhere, so he’d gotten out to come ask you when his phone pinged with a message from Namjoon. He’d told Hoseok that he just needed air to clear his head and he was on his way back to the house. Hoseok was ready to leave it alone and go back himself, but his instincts had kicked in, and rightfully so. He considers memorizing the license plates currently in the parking lot to have Yoongi run when he gets back, but decides against it when he hears your car door open. 
“It is,” you remind him. “It’s a stupid fight over a stupid thing and Namjoon wouldn’t get it, and I said some things I shouldn’t have. I just want some space, Hobi, is that too much?”
“Yes,” he growls, holding out the car door for you to climb in. “It’s too much for Namjoon and you know that, Y/N. He doesn’t like space when it comes to you and this fight is affecting all of us. We’re his friends too, Y/N, and it’s out of the ordinary for us to see him this way.”
“Then space is exactly what we need.” You slam the door shut, leaving Hoseok pleasantly surprised by your outburst. You’ve never taken that much attitude with him and he’s a little amused by it. You’re careful not to run over his feet as you back out of the parking space, giving him a small wave before driving away. Peering in the rearview mirror, you watch him fade into the background and miss the way his body locks up.
Hoseok turns slightly, meeting the eyes of someone he’s not quite familiar with, before the person rolls up their car window. There, he thinks. That’s what, or rather who, was bothering you. He glares at his reflection in the window as the car drives away, pulling his phone from his pocket to dial Namjoon’s number.
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Namjoon sits in one of the lounge chairs in his small library at the house, his hair sticking up in every direction after running his hands through it. After the confrontation earlier with Nabi and the Choi family, he’d gone out for a long drive. He was tempted to drive up to your apartment, or even stake out the diner, but he wasn’t sure he could handle seeing you without forcing a conversation. The last thing he wants is to disrespect your boundaries, but his skin prickles at the thought of not checking up on you. He could never forgive himself if something were to happen to you. A light knock on the doorframe gets his attention and he looks up to find Nabi leaning against it. 
She gives him a soft smile when he gestures to the empty chair across from him, striding across the room to sit. “Are you alright?” “Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?” he snorts in response, pinching the bridge of his nose as the tension in his neck travels up to the base of his skull. “It was a hard day for you.”
She nods slightly. “Namjoon, can I…” she trails off, fiddling with her thumbs anxiously but he doesn’t push, only giving her the time she needs to gather her thoughts. “What I did today, with Hyunwoo, and the gun. How did it look to you guys?”
“What do you mean?” He’s obviously confused because she can’t really mean to think his opinion of her has changed to a bad one. 
“Did it look like I was hiding something from you guys?”
“No,” he answers immediately. “Nabi, Hoseok told us that he suspected you weren’t exactly timid a long time ago. None of us really thought you were to begin with. Taehyung didn’t scare you, Jungkook and Jimin didn’t scare you. Hell, even Hoseok couldn’t scare you off even when you know the kinds of things we do.”
She inhales sharply, taking his hand when he offers it in support. “Growing up in this life definitely hardens a person, but sometimes I think I take it too far.”
“We’ve all had to do some unforgivable things to survive this life.” Namjoon’s thumb skims across her knuckles. “I think the way you kept that part of yourself closed off was just a way to protect yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that, even if Taehyung was angry about it. I’m glad you opened up, Nabi, it means you trust us enough to be comfortable.”
“Comfortable enough to ask what’s going on with you,” Nabi quickly changes the subject, jumping right into what she came to the library for in the first place. 
“It’s Y/N,” he sighs, dropping her hand and sinking back into the chair. “I may have had Hoseok send a picture to her ex that made us look like more than friends, and she got angry with me. She said she didn’t want me hanging around the diner for awhile to avoid her coworkers asking questions. For whatever reason, she doesn’t want them to think she’s in a relationship with anyone, but before we could really get into it, I had to focus on the situation here and I haven’t called her since.”           
“Namjoon,” Nabi admonishes him, slapping his arm lightly. “First of all, as much help as you think the picture was, I can promise you, it wasn’t. Secondly, how do you think she’ll feel if you start showing up around her coworkers and she has to explain that you’re just friends even though they’ve seen more? Honestly, Kim Namjoon, did you even fully think of the consequences that picture could bring?”
Namjoon opens his mouth to argue when his phone starts to ring and Nabi takes that as her victory before slinking out of the room. He shakes his head, amused but doesn’t want to admit it, before answering Hoseok’s call. “What is it?”
“Y/N’s being followed,” Hoseok wastes no time getting to the point. He’s already in his car, speeding after you and your stalker, but he was too far behind to begin with. His palms begin to sweat with what he can only describe as fear when he has to slam on the brakes at a nearby intersection. “Fuck!” he curses, slamming his hands against the steering wheel, losing sight of your car. “I lost them.” “Where?” Namjoon is up and in the garage, car keys in his shaking hands as dread fills his entire body. 
“Not far. If you leave now, you should meet her just as she’s getting home.”
Shit, Namjoon seethes to himself. His hands tighten on the wheel as he speeds down street after street. Shit, shit, shit! He tries calling you, but you don’t answer, and he doesn’t want to panic. You’ve just worked another double, he reasons, you always forget to take a phone charger with you so your phone had to have died. That has to be it. For the sake of whoever is stupid enough to follow you, that had better be what happened. The automatic voice echoes in the car as he gets your voicemail one more time. “Baby,” he says after the beep, “I know you’re angry with me, but I need you to pick up the phone.”
Three more unanswered calls later, his body is wound tight as he pulls up to your apartment building, not seeing your car anywhere in sight. He jumps out the driver’s seat and bolts up the stairs to your apartment, pounding on the door, but he’s met with more silence. He has to call his father, has to get their men out there in search of you, he has to. Has to. Has to. Has to.
“Joon?” your voice reaches his ears, but you’re not sure he actually hears you. You take in his heaving shoulders and chest, the shaking of his hands, and lay your palm on his shoulder to get his attention. You gasp in pain when he rounds on you, shoving your back into the wall with his long fingers wrapped around your neck. Your hand wraps around his wrist to try and pry it away, looking into his eyes to find them nearly black with rage. “Joon! Namjoon, it’s me!”
Namjoon’s eyes finally clear, blood still roaring in his ears as he seems to recognize you. He glances down to find his hand around your throat, quickly releasing you. “Oh fuck, Y/N, I’m so sorry!” He holds on to your shoulders as you cough violently, trying to take in all the air you’ve lost, sliding down the wall as if to ground yourself. He falls to his knees in order to maintain eye contact, spearing his fingers through your hair to keep it out of your face, touching his forehead to yours. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby. Are you okay?”
The hold you have on his wrists never loosened, and you use it now in support as the spots in your vision begin to disappear. You’re gasping as you brace your free hand against his chest, unsure if you want to push him away yet. “Jesus fuck, Namjoon. What the hell?” 
“I’m sorry! I thought…”
“What could you possibly have thought?” You finally shove him away and stand up, fishing the apartment keys out of your pocket. You shove them in the keyhole, unlock the door, and throw it open as Namjoon follows you inside. Reaching up to your neck, your hand shakes as it feels around your sore throat. “As if Hoseok popping up wasn’t scary enough.”
“Hoseok scared you?” Namjoon’s body grows tense all over again, turning to close the apartment door.
“He didn’t mean to.” You shake your head, shucking off your jacket and tossing it onto the kitchen counter. “I was just a little off tonight, that’s all. Hoseok snuck up on me after work.” Making your way to the cabinets overhead, you pluck out a cup to fill with water. You stand facing away from him to gulp down the water. All day you’ve been wondering what you could say to him, but now that he’s here in front of you, all words are lost. It’s not just because you’re angry with what just happened, it’s that you don’t know how to even process it. 
“How many times can I say I’m sorry?” His chest presses to your back, the deep rumbling of his voice vibrates against it, your treacherous body leaning into him. He braces his hands on the counter, trapping you in place, and presses his forehead to your shoulder. “You didn’t answer your phone.”
“I put it on silent,” you whisper, turning your head so your lips skim his ear. The tips of his ears turn red even though you didn’t mean to be directly in his ear, you smile. “I forgot to put the ringer back on after Hobi scared me in the parking lot.”
He hums in reply, one arm sliding across your belly to hook around your waist completely, pulling you against him. The sun peeks through the window, having risen in the time he’s spent in your apartment. “Another late shift, then?”
“Mhm,” you confirm with a nod of your head. You meet his eyes when he raises his head to look at you. You glance down at his lips, tipping your head back just slightly and you swear he groans as he lowers his mouth to yours.
There’s nothing stopping him from kissing you this time. Not a damn thing stands in his way. That is, until there’s a knock on your door that has you jumping out of his embrace before he can actually do anything. He curses whoever is at the door, taking the cup you set on the counter to take a sip of water. His ears pick up the grating sound of Minseok’s voice, and he’s slamming the glass down on the counter before he can stop himself from getting even more pissed off. Striding to the front door, he reaches it just in time to watch you crumble to your knees, but he’s quick to stop you from hitting the floor. “Y/N?! What happened? What’s wrong?”
“She’s go–,” you sob out, tears streaming down your face endlessly. “She’s gone, Joon. She’s gone!” you shriek, gripping onto his forearms as your wails fill the apartment. Your throat is raw from screaming but you can’t seem to stop yourself. You knew it was coming, had always known, but you were never actually prepared for it.
Namjoon’s heart breaks with every body wracking sob you let out, and it hits him then just why Minseok was there. He holds you close, rocks you back and forth in hopes of soothing you, but it isn’t working. From the corner of his eye, he sees Minseok’s fingers twitch, trying to keep himself from reaching out to you, but Namjoon pulls you closer, refusing to allow Minseok to touch you.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes you think the skies know when to be gloomy. The gray clouds that loom over the funeral procession feel as though they’re mocking you. Your mother loved rainy days, something you couldn’t come to enjoy as you grew older. You thought they were depressing, always lending a hand in her dwindling health, but she flourished in the rain. She came alive when the downpour would drench her to the bone, and as a child, you would giggle and dance in the rain with her. You remember kicking up puddles, getting your feet dirty and clothes wet, and it was everything to her. Growing older, though, you found that with the rain came runny noses, horrid coughs, sore throats, and missed days of school. You came to detest them until she got sick, and it was all she’d ask for; to see the rain. 
People, mostly Namjoon’s parents and friends, and some of your coworkers, gathered around you in comfort. They only want to help, you know this, but they’re not. Most people welcome the condolences and the sympathy, but you can’t seem to. You feel overcrowded, lost in a sea of people that you don’t want to see you break down. So you hold it in. Sometimes your breathing grows ragged as you try to hold back, but you manage to compose yourself before they can gather what’s happening. Namjoon is by your side the entire time, along with his parents, and they’re the only comfort you can find. The only ones you can stand to be around right now. They truly are your only family. Hoseok, Jimin, Jungkook, Yoongi, Seokjin, Taehyung, and Nabi take their turns to cradle you close. They aren’t just Namjoon’s friends, they’re yours too even though Hoseok was really the only one you’d spent an extensive amount of time with. Recently though, they’ve been coming around to the apartment when Namjoon was busy, all of them doing their best to keep you distracted. 
You’re sat in front of your mother’s picture with your head resting on Namjoon’s shoulder while everyone else is lined up against the wall, giving you and Namjoon the space you didn’t have to ask for, they just know you need it. Namjoon grips your hand tight, linking your fingers together and bringing up your joined hands to kiss the back of your knuckles. You peek up at him through tear filled lashes, breathing easily when he drops his forehead to your own, but that serenity doesn’t last long. A commotion breaks out at the entrance of the funeral hall, people whispering and darting about in a hurry. Namjoon’s father grits his teeth and demands to know what could be going on, when your breath hitches at the next person who steps foot in the room.
Chunghee has the decency to look apologetic as he catches your eye, taking a moment to dip his chin in greeting before stepping aside to reveal his father, Kang Himchan. He sees Namjoon tense, standing to his full height immediately to back his own father. Chunghee steps towards them in hopes of gaining control of the situation, but Kim Taehyung is quick to meet him. “Taehyung,” he simply says as if this were at all normal. 
“Kang,” Taehyung says through clenched teeth, tipping his head in your direction. Jungkook and Jimin are the first to reach you, followed by Seokjin and Nabi. Hoseok and Yoongi take their place on either side of Taehyung. 
“What the hell is this?” Namjoon’s father levels Himchan with a look that would send most men running. “How dare you come here and disturb this girl’s grieving. Have you no sense of decorum, Kang?”
“I am here to offer my condolences, obviously,” Himchan keeps his voice steady. Your mother was unknowingly his mistress, but he had loved her dearly, and wants nothing more than to know and understand you. His eyes search the room, finally landing on you, and they soften. You are the spitting image of your mother and it makes him breathless for a moment. He forgets who you’re surrounded by, taking a step in your direction, only to be met by Namjoon’s hard glare. His hackles raise, face turning red with anger. “You dare keep me from my own daughter, Kim?”
All of the air rushes out of your lungs as you struggle to breathe. Your body begins to tremble, view being blocked by Jungkook’s body, but you catch his hand sliding into the back waistband of his pants. A gun, you realize, and look around to find that he’s not the only person hiding one. Hoseok’s hand rests on his hip, the holster becoming visible as his suit jacket moves with him. Jimin and Yoongi exchange a knowing look before they too reach for their hidden weapons. 
“I’ll do whatever the fuck I want when it comes to her,” Namjoon snaps back at Himchan, causing the older man to step toe-to-toe with him. He smirks at the older Kang. “That’s not a smart move.”
Before anyone can blink, weapons are drawn, all aimed at different people around the room as more men come barreling in behind Himchan. They surround their boss, standing in front of raised guns without a second thought. You scramble back towards the wall, as if pressing against it enough will make you invisible. Nabi is at your side, shushing you and squeezing your hand tight. 
“Enough,” Namjoon’s father bellows, throwing his hand up to stop anyone from actually firing. Putting his hand on his son’s shoulder, he pulls Namjoon back. “This isn’t the time or place, Namjoon. Go to Y/N. We’ve frightened her on an already stressful day.”
“Y/N,” Himchan repeats as though unused to saying your name, a smile playing on his lips at the sound. It was so like your mother to have picked something equally as beautiful as you are. His smile fades as he straightens himself up to look Namjoon’s father in the eye once more. “I’m well aware of her ties to you, Kim, but that is no more. She is my kin. My flesh and blood. It’s time she lives as such.”
“I don’t know you,” your voice cuts through the room, shaky and trembling. “I don’t know what the hell is even going on right now.”
“Y/N,” Chunghee finally pipes up. If he had known this would turn out to be such a shit show, he’d have never told his father about your mother’s passing. Ah hell, he knew it was going to be bad, he just didn’t really want to believe it. “Please, you have to believe us.”
“She doesn’t have to do a damn thing,” Namjoon roars and his friends tense, unsure of what he may do next. “You come here, Kang, declare her your daughter, and expect her to up and accept it? You’re out of your fucking mind. Even if we did believe this bullshit, I wouldn’t let her go anywhere with you.”
“You?” Himchan sneers. “You think you get any say in this? She’s my daughter, Kim. I’ve bit my tongue and kept my distance long enough, but now she needs us. Her mother is gone, her family is nowhere to be found, she is alone. But not with us.”
“She’s mine.” 
You let out a small gasp at Namjoon’s tone. You’d only ever heard him use it against Minseok when he was mad enough. You’re not sure what the outcome of this entire standoff will be, but you know you wouldn’t be able to stomach it if anyone got hurt. You’re able to wrestle out of Nabi’s hold enough to slowly approach Namjoon’s side, tangling your fingers with his. “Joon, let’s not do this, okay? Not here and not today. Please?”
Himchan’s surprise is visible on his face when Namjoon heeds your words, backing down almost instantly. He knew you were close to the Kim family and, up until recently, he was under the impression that you and Namjoon were just friends. Everyone else in the room seems to be used to this, and so he has to wonder when the change came about. Hope blooms in his chest as the gears in his mind begin to whirl. 
“We should go home for now,” Taehyung suggests, though as Nabi stands at his side, he’s pretty sure everyone knows it’s not his idea, but hers. He tries to hold in a sigh when Namjoon shoots him a glare. “Y/N will come home with us, Namjoon, don’t worry.”
“But I—,” you try to object, unable to accept anything more Taehyung has to offer. Not when he’d already done so much for you as is. 
“Hoseok and the guys will move your things in,” Namjoon interrupts, leaving no room for argument. He tugs on your hand and leads you out of the funeral hall, bumping his shoulder against one of Himchan’s goons. He can feel the reluctant pull of your arm, but he refuses to let go, not until the two of you reach his car where he buckles you in safely before sliding into the driver’s seat. 
The ride home is tense, the car filled with nothing but silence and what you suspect is grumbling coming from Namjoon even though he thinks you can’t hear it. He’s angry. More like pissed. This isn’t something any of them were prepared for. Hell, it wasn’t something any of them would have ever thought possible. Of all the people on this planet to be related to, the Kangs were the last ones anyone would have figured were your relatives. Not only that, but Himchan had forced Namjoon to show his hand, to show you a world he never should have dragged you into. He never thought he could come to regret befriending you in that hall so many years ago, but now he does. If only because he doesn’t really believe he could protect you from the power the Kang family holds. His own family is rather powerful, there’s no doubt about that, but if anyone could hold a candle to them, it’s the Kangs. 
“Namjoon,” you try to get his attention, “you’re angry.”
“I’m worried, baby, it’s different.”
“Because you think it’s true?”
“Because if it is true, then I don’t know if I can protect you,” he begrudgingly admits. 
You’re confused as you take in his words. What could you possibly need protection from? Even as you question it, the memory of everyone in there, guns drawn, comes to the forefront of your mind, and you know. You know Namjoon is hiding something. You’ve always known, but you could never have guessed it was to this extent. “Tell me,” you demand quietly and he strains to hear you. “Tell me, Namjoon, what all of that was about. What you’re hiding from me and what you’re afraid of because if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that if you’re scared, then I have to be too. So, please, tell me.”
So he does. Namjoon tells you everything, from beginning to end. What his life was like growing up in the mafia, what he’d had to learn in order to protect himself and those closest to him, and more importantly, why he had to distance himself during the 10 years of your friendship. The only thing he left out was how utterly obsessed with you he’d become. He sounded crazy enough as is, no need to tack on that he basically stalked you from the day you met him. You’re quiet after he’s finished, spending the rest of the ride home staring out of the window. Even as he pulls into the driveway, you only stare up at the giant house Taehyung had built for Nabi a few years ago. Once in the garage, you unbuckle yourself at an alarmingly normal speed, as if you hadn’t just been told that your best friend was in the goddamn mafia of all things. What’s more, all of his friends and family are part of it too, and he’s afraid you might fear Hoseok now, but when you step into the house and Hoseok is the first to sweep you up into his arms, you cling to him as you always have.  
“You’re not part of them,” Hoseok insists, mainly because from what little of his childhood he remembers, the Kangs were the driving force behind him becoming an orphan. “Even if you were, blood doesn’t make them family, Y/N. Himchan is wrong. We’re your family.”
“Do I have to go with them?” you ask honestly, pulling back to look up at Hoseok. He may not have been truthful with you, but he never lied or coddled you either. “If they come for me, Hobi, do I have to go?”
“Over my dead fucking body,” comes Namjoon’s deep voice and you gasp at the stark difference. How you were never able to differentiate his tones before is beyond you. Then again, you think you may have purposefully ignored the signs, wanting to believe he could do no harm. He snatches you out of Hoseok’s arms, pulling your chest flush against his own and raking a hand through your hair. “There’s nothing on this planet that can take you from me, Y/N, not even Kang Himchan or his son.”
“Chunghee,” you hum. Despite all of the commotion, the only thing he’d had to say was that you had to believe what his father had been saying. You could hear the plea in his voice, wondering why he hadn’t brought any of this up the day he’d run into you at the store. Then it hits you, the realization that he’d done it on purpose. Was he why Namjoon had been so scared that day after your fight? Did Chunghee threaten you somehow? 
“Speaking of the Kangs,” Taehyung says as he strides into the living room, dropping himself on the couch while Nabi gives him a stern look. “Princess, I’m tired, and I can bet everyone else here is too. Can I just sit for a second?”
Nabi rolls her eyes, cheeks turning a faint shade of pink at the pet name he’s given her since they’ve been married. She lets out a small squeal when he pulls her onto his lap. “You’re an idiot, Tae. But you’re right.” Turning to face you and Namjoon, she explains, “The Kangs are well known in our circle. Even my grandfather made a deal or two with them, and while they’d given us no reason to not trust them, they’ve made it clear that they’re not out to make friends. They’ve built themselves a solid reputation starting all the way down from Himchan’s great grandfather. They’re a prestigious family, Namjoon, not easy to break through, not like the Choi’s. If you want to fight them, it’ll have to be with some heavy artillery. I can ask my cousins for their support and they’ll grant it, but it’ll take more than that.”
“That’s hot,” Taehyung attempts to whisper in his wife’s ear but everyone still hears it and Jungkook audibly gags. He’s always loved how smart his wife is and he’s not ashamed to show it.
“Stop it.” Nabi swats at his hand, climbing off his lap to walk up to you. “Y/N, you have to understand what could happen if we go to war with Kang Himchan. I don’t want to scare you, but it’ll get bloody and it’ll get deadly, but you have to believe that if anyone can protect you from them, it’s Namjoon. I’m not saying you have to go with the Kangs if they come to collect you, but” –She raises her hand to stop Namjoon from butting in–, “you also don’t have to stay here. If you want to get to know your father and brother, that’s your decision. We won’t stop you from doing it and we most certainly won’t isolate you for their actions and wrongdoings.”
“War?” is all you can say. It’s the only thing that had really caught your attention. That and the blood and death. 
“War,” Namjoon confirms, tightening his hold on your waist. “The Kangs won’t let you go so easily, but neither will I. Give Hoseok your apartment keys. He’s taking Jimin and Jungkook to get your things. I don’t trust that they’ll pull some shit if they know you live alone.”
“I can’t just take up a room here, Joon,” you insist even as you hand off your keys to Hoseok.
“Oh, you’re not taking up a room,” Hoseok chuckles, taking the keys from your outstretched hand. “You’re sharing Namjoon’s room.”
------------------------------------------------------------------
“This isn’t happening.” You gawk at Jungkook and Jimin moving your things about Namjoon’s room a few hours later. They lug in a suitcase with a good portion of your clothes, most of which is jeans, t-shirts, and a bunch of pajama pants and shorts. Nabi had insisted on going with them to rifle through your clothes, throwing out the tattered pieces you’d shoved to the back of your closet and forgotten about. You turn to Namjoon lounging on his bed, looking as though a bomb hadn’t just been dropped on both of you. “You can’t be serious about this, Joon. I mean, this is your personal space, you can’t be happy about me invading it. The house is practically on full lock down, I’m sure there’s a spare room I can use.”
“No,” is all he says, reaching out to grab your arm and tugging you into the space next to him. “Taehyung’s taken every precaution to protect Nabi and I’ll do the same for you.” He looks as though he wants to say more but decides against it, getting up from the bed to slap Jungkook upside the head when he notices the younger man mocking him. 
“Nabi said Taheyung didn’t allow her out unless Jungkook and Jimin were with her.” 
Namjoon freezes at your words. Of course you’d ask Nabi what it was like living here, and of course Nabi wouldn’t spare any details. Jimin and Jungkook stare at him, waiting to take his lead and willing to downplay their roles as Nabi’s guards if necessary. He sighs and figures he’s done enough lying to you. He turns to see you with crossed arms and a look that says you already knew what to expect. “The same rules apply to you, Y/N. Until this situation is settled, you can’t go anywhere unless Hoseok and Jimin are with you, or I’m with you, or all three of us are escorting you somewhere. I’m not going to lie to you and say you’ll have everything you need here, but you’ll never be bored. I was going to have Seokjin or Yoongi assigned to you, but Jin’s helping Yoongi with something important and it’s taking all of their focus. Also,” he hesitates as you raise your brows, waiting for him to continue. “You can’t contact Minseok.” It’s entirely selfish of him to forbid any contact with Minseok, but it’s an opportunity he’ll take. 
With a roll of your eyes, you sink further into the bed, leaning back into his pillows. “Not that I want to talk to Minseok, but he did take care of my mom, Namjoon. I at least owe him a thank you.”
“Not right now,” he seethes, curling his hand into a fist, and Jungkook and Jimin take that as their cue to leave. Storming up to the bed, he grips your ankles and pulls you down to the edge. He smirks when you squeal in surprise, slotting himself between your thighs. When your squeal turns into a gasp, he knows it’s because you can feel how hard he’s gotten since you’ve been in the room. He plants his palms against the mattress, watching your eyes dart to the veins in his forearms, sliding forward until he’s nose to nose with you. “You can thank Minseok another time, sweetheart, but right now it’s best to keep your distance. If Kang thinks he can use Minseok to get to you, he’ll do it.”
Your brows draw together, regret settling in the pit of your stomach as you play with the collar of his black dress shirt. “My very existence is dangerous, isn’t it?”
“Not to me.” One of his hands comes up to brush the stray hairs from your face. “None of this is your fault. You didn’t even know who your father was until now.”
A light knock on his bedroom door lets him know that it’s Nabi and she’s going to give him about 10 seconds to be ready. He scrambles away from you just as she plows through the door, smiling sweetly before breaking the news. “Taehyung has accepted Kang’s request to meet with you, Y/N. I know we should have talked to you first, but I don’t want your decision to be based on emotion rather than rationale. Is that okay?”
You nod, grateful that she’s on your side and to have her as a friend. Sitting up as she approaches the bed, you note that she fusses over you like a mother would, righting your clothes and smoothing your hair down. You want to laugh, but then you remember that when you were little, your mother would have to step in to make you presentable when you’d been too rough on the playground. Your smile fades. “He’s here now, isn’t he?”
“Goddamn it,” Namjoon hisses, barreling for the door. “You could have given us a bigger heads up, Nabi.”
“That wasn’t my decision,” she barks back at him, and you blink at her in surprise. It’s not very often people can talk back to Namjoon and he’ll just let it happen. “Taehyung surprised me too when he said Kang would be here soon.”
“Let’s just go,” you sigh, getting up from the bed to follow Namjoon to the living room, Nabi not far behind. Your nerves shoot sky high as you get closer and closer to the deep voices of who you now know is your father speaking to Namjoon’s father. Two weeks ago, you’d been wiping down tables at one of your part time jobs, living off ramen noodles and sandwiches, and one more speed bump away from possibly losing the bumper to your junker car, but it had been worth it. You’d do all of it over again to take care of the most precious person to you. How your life got turned so ass backwards, you don’t know, and you’re not entirely sure you want to figure it out. 
“She hasn’t had to live up to traditions and customs,” Namjoon’s father sounds as if he’s on the verge of losing his temper. “You cannot throw this on her after she’s just learned of you!”
“That's why she should be moved under my roof!” Himchan snaps back at Mr. Kim and you pause at the entryway of the living room, neither of them even see you yet. “She can learn of those customs and traditions.”
“So you can pawn her off to some low life thug undeserving of her?” Mr. Kim scoffs. “I don’t think so. Y/N is as much a part of our family as she is of yours. Even more so since we’re the ones who have been there for her.”
“I didn’t even know she existed until Harin got sick,” Himchan mumbles, dragging his hand down his face as you finally come into view.
You sit next to Mr. Kim while Namjoon stands beside the couch and Hoseok parks himself behind it. You’re not sure where to begin or what you can even say given his position. If he’s as high up on the chain of command as Mr. Kim, then you’re pretty sure telling him to go fuck himself is off the table. You look around as if searching for something or someone, only to realize he isn’t there. “Where’s Chunghee?”
Himchan sits up straight as you finally address him, offering a polite smile in response. “Chunghee had some business to attend to overseas. As time goes on, I’m hoping your relationship will become less strained.” He frowns when you grow stiff, having misunderstood, though he’s sure the truth won’t be any better. “When I met your mother, Y/N, I fell in love with her at first sight. She didn’t know who I was or even that I was…married. My marriage had been arranged by my father, as his marriage was, and his father before him. In our life, it is rare to find and marry someone we’re in love with. We’re paired with someone we believe can carry a strong bloodline. Your brother is a product of a marriage neither I nor his mother had a true say in. He was only 10 when you were born, even younger when I started an affair with your mother. She didn’t know what kind of life I had and one day she was just gone. Somehow, she’d found out, and left town without telling me she was pregnant.”
“So, Chunghee hates me,” you gather from everything he’s said. “Because of you.”
“Yes,” Himchan admits, shame burning his throat.
Namjoon steps in front of you protectively, effectively cutting off any more access Himchan had. “Are you saying your own son is a threat? You want me to give her to you when your own son could hurt her?”
“I would never allow that,” Himchan insists, but it lands on deaf ears as Namjoon turns to take your hand, ready to drag you back to his room. “I only want a good life for her, Namjoon. I’ve only recently learned of her struggles, ones that you’ve allowed her to go through.”
“Allowed?” you question at the sheer audacity both of them have to treat you like an object rather than a person.
“I didn’t allow a fucking thing,” Namjoon interrupts and Nabi rubs at her temples in exasperation. “She wouldn’t let me help. She’s stubborn that way, but it’s what makes her so strong, Kang. Don’t think for a second I don’t know why you really want her under your roof. You already have someone lined up for her to marry, but that’s not fucking happening.”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake!” Nabi throws her hands in the air, stalking to the middle of the living room and commanding attention in a way that makes you envious. “Unless we’re all forgetting that Y/N’s here, I think maybe we should ask her what she wants. Mr. Kang, I understand tradition better than anyone here, but given that she hasn’t grown up in your care or home, you can’t implement traditional values without her knowledge of it. That’s dangerous and you know it.”
“Who is it?” your voice cuts through the room, stepping around Namjoon to face your father. 
Namjoon looks at you as if you’ve grown a second head, mouth gaping open in shock. “You can’t seriously be considering this.”
“I don’t know what else to even do, Namjoon!” You throw your arms up in frustration, turning away from him with tears in your eyes. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to deal with all of this.”
“Not by entertaining this stupid bullshit.” Namjoon’s hands curl into fists and Hoseok quickly takes up the space at your side in case his friend’s temper gets the best of him. 
“That’s what I was hoping to talk to Mr. Kim about today.” Himchan faces Namjoon’s father again, taking a deep, steadying breath. “I learned about my daughter 10 years ago, Kim, when she was 18 and forced into working job after job until her fingers bled, and through all of it, your son was there. From my understanding, my father and yours had meant to work together quite some time ago and those plans fell through.”
Namjoon inhales sharply. Is Kang suggesting what Namjoon thinks he is? Could he really be handed everything he’s ever wanted right here, right now? Would you even be okay with that?
“I want him to vet Han Youngjae in exchange for discussing a new business venture that could benefit us both,” Himchan continues, sending Namjoon’s world crashing down. “You know as well as I do that the Han family has been around far longer than either of our families. Youngjae seems to be a good man, but I trust your son’s judgment, especially when it comes to Y/N. I’ve worked with the Han family for awhile now and the arrangement for my son to marry their eldest daughter is being finalized soon.”
“Then why the fuck do you need more ties into that family?” Namjoon’s tone has gone dangerously low, sending a chill down your spine, but rather than fear it’s bordering on something else entirely. “You come into her life, our lives, after she loses her mother and you want to marry her off to a family like the Hans?”
“I want to give her time to adjust to the idea,” Himchan clarifies, searching for some kind of hope that you’ll just think about it. “I truly believe—.”
“I will not entertain this idea,” Namjoon’s father stops Himchan before he can explain any further. “Besides the fact that it’s entirely absurd, Y/N has already been promised to my son.”
“I’m so fucking confused,” you say aloud without meaning to, and Nabi giggles while looping her arm through yours. 
Himchan winces at your colorful language, sighing in disappointment. “Y/N, truly, you shouldn’t speak with such foul language, it’s unbecoming.”
“How my fiancée chooses to speak is none of your business,” Namjoon defends you, quickly growing used to the idea of calling you his fiancée. It makes his chest warm and body hum with need. 
You startle, bumping against Nabi’s embrace. Namjoon’s casual use of the word “fiancee” makes your throat dry. You rather like the way it sounds, but you have to remind yourself that it’s just to get your father off your back. But then, if that were true, what was all of that back in his room? Namjoon’s been acting rather odd lately, invading your space, holding your hand, kissing your cheek. It’s enough to convince even you that he might actually have feelings for you. You let out a heavy sigh while shaking the thoughts from your head. No, Namjoon was well aware of how much you cherished your mother. He was simply helping you through the grieving process, and now with the looming threat of your father, he’s doing what’s necessary to keep you safe. 
“It’s been quite the day,” Nabi’s smooth and commanding voice cuts through the men’s argument, effectively silencing them as they all turn to stare at her. “It’s late Mr. Kang, and while we understand your concerns for tradition and the need to keep up with them, we’ve taken your proposal into consideration and have deemed it unnecessary. As Mr. Kim has already stated, Namjoon and Y/N have been promised to each other. There is no need for her to marry into the Han family.”
“Now just wait a minute,” Kang says through gritted teeth. “Custom states that the engagement requires my approval, which I’m yet to give.”
“You’ve kept tabs on us all this time,” Namjoon reminds him with a wicked smile. “Surely you’re not so naive as to misunderstand just what we’ve been up to in the night’s I’ve stayed at her home.”
“Namjoon,” you hiss, cheeks flushing at his implication. True as it may be that Namjoon has spent a considerable amount of nights at your apartment, he really only slept on the couch and the one time he nearly slept in your bed, he’d conceded and left the room. “Stop it.”
“I’m stating facts, sweetheart, nothing more.” Namjoon turns to wrap his fingers around your free arm and tug you close to his chest. His arm snakes around your waist to keep you trapped against him. Your squeak of surprise makes him chuckle low and deep, making you shiver as he skims his lips across your cheek. 
Kang curls his fingers into fists at the display. While yes, he was well aware of Namjoon’s overnight stays, he’d never seen any open displays of affection. He’s not sure if it’s because Namjoon is truly a private person, or if this entire charade is a lie. Either way, he cannot allow the opportunity to tie more of his lineage to the Han family to pass him by. He breathes in deep and exhales slowly to calm himself. “Fine,” he says while straightening the lapels of his suit jacket. “I will let this rest for now, Kim. But be warned, should I find anything false about this ‘engagement’ of yours, Y/N will live under my roof and she will marry Han.”
“You can’t—,” you begin to argue, but Taehyung beats you to it by instructing Jungkook and Jimin to escort Kang to his waiting vehicle. 
“Understand this, Kang,” Taehyung seethes while he still has Kang’s attention, “I will not tolerate your persistence of taking Y/N from underneath my roof. If, and only if, she chooses to part ways with Namjoon, I will make sure she gets far away from us and you. Trust when I say this is not a war you want with me.”
“Is that a threat?”
“Take it as you wish,” Taehyung stands tall, sliding his hands into the pockets of his slacks as if to show your father that Kang isn’t nearly as in control as he believes. “But, much like Namjoon, I’m only stating facts. However, I will take into consideration another meeting with you and your son.”
“What?” Namjoon snaps, and becomes pissed when Taehyung holds his hand up to stop him from speaking further.
“I know that customs and tradition are being called into question, and while I don’t agree to forcing a marriage between the Han family and Y/N, it is my duty to consider it should any arrangements between her and Namjoon fall apart.” Taehyung frowns in your direction, knowing that all he can truly do is help Namjoon keep up appearances until this entire mess is sorted out. He can’t step in and completely dissolve whatever deal Kang has made with the Han family, but he can delay it until Namjoon can talk you into a real marriage. He hates it, and is well aware that keeping you from the Han family by forcing you into Namjoon’s family instead is rather hypocritical. He turns back to Kang and sighs in defeat, “I swear to you that I will consider it seriously. In the meantime, don’t hold your breath, Kang.”
Your jaw nearly drops to the floor with the way Taehyung dismissed your father like a child, and the fact that your father actually leaves after being waved away is even more shocking. You look to Nabi for some guidance, but she only shakes your head with a reassuring smile, leaving you to believe that things might actually turn out okay in the end.  
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aliasrocket · 9 months
Text
tdlr : quill/rocket love triangle qna + excerpts!!
Since the quill/rocket love triangle poll one by 0.01% (literally) I’m trying to make it happen! Definitely will have at LEAST one chapter out by the end of august, maybe even two, but allow me to answer some frequently asked questions.
Quill and Rocket are in love with the reader. (Because of this, I would prefer to call it a love angle but its a lesser known term, so.)
I don’t wanna spoil the plot too much but I saw a post of James Gunn on twitter confirming Quill is on space tinder. That’s the only clue I can give you (no, it’s not a chat fic.)
It’s not poly. Sorry for those who wanted it that way.
And last but not least, here’s two excerpts—it’s not much but that’s because I just started, but hopefully you get the feel of the fic from this HAHA
so the first one’s to give you some insight on Quill, second’s on Rocket ;
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Books sound so much better when you recommend them to me
Peter
It’s books
There’s so many good ones out there that I haven’t read
I can take you to a bookstore if you want
Alright, if you insist
But I haven’t finished a book since
Since I last saw my mother
And you changed that
The bubble that held these words was the face of Peter—it was his face. The flat device on your phone was supposed to make up for the fact that you weren’t next to him.
Reading that through was like looking at a sunset and speculating its feelings. Obviously it’s a pretty sight. A lot of things happen when pink meets red meets orange meets yellow. But the sun doesn’t have a face. Neither do the colors. But your shoulders sink and your bones unwind at the very thought of letting your hair brush through the mellow sunset wind.
There was something there. Obviously, there was something there.
But Peter Quill was a chat screen with feelings.
I’m glad you liked Ready Player One Peter
I feel like a damn child again
With all the sci-fi you’ve recommended me
But in the good way
Like
I can let loose
With you
Yk?
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“Hey uh,” you swallowed, the slick noises from your throat somehow bouncing off the walls. “The ship’s on autopilot, right?”
“No, we’re crashing any second now,” Rocket answered dryly.
You whipped around to face the window. More clanging sounds ensued, but the stars were still sticking to the sky, fixed, not moving, not dropping to shaking about—and there was no quake in the ship, no floating feeling of your body falling and yet your heart hiccuped.
Rocket snickered. Your heart drummed somewhat distantly in your chest, but as drums are, it was loud, and it ran a careless finger down your ribs.
“Of course we’re on autopilot, princess,” he clarified a little kinder, despite the gesture being anything but kind. It was considered kinder because whatever he had done previously had made this an improvement.
He loaded his hands into his pockets, leaning against the box with a foot crossed over the other.
You groaned as your head hit the mattress, and you did this instead of offering a response, an option you actually had to weigh.
“Never got the proper meeting, by the way,” Rocket said, his boots giving away each heavy step towards you. “I’m—”
“Rocket. I know who you are,” you finish for him so he doesn’t have the chance to say anything else that would scare you.
You reluctantly sat up only to find he was closer than you had expected him to be. Your feet suddenly gravitated towards the floor in an attempt to regain some modesty.
“This usually goes both ways, you know.”
You press your lips into a thin line, your eyelids drooping to form an unamused look. You utter your name but the syllables clung to your lips when they barely left you. Rocket held out his hand, and you take note of his black nails protruding from its slender but unmarred form. You take his hand in your own, shaking it torpidly and very, very slimly moving it for a better view.
It was unmarred in a very human way—it held prominent knuckles at the beginning of each finger, and it looked so unnaturally natural; his hands were active, always on the move, always touching very hot and dangerous things—how could it possibly be unmarred?
“Now you say ‘nice to meet you, Rocket,’” he quipped.
You hit his hand away and scoffed. “Yeah yeah, okay.”
“Nice to meet you too,” he said along with your name, leaving him like a cardboard box labeled ‘fragile.’ It’s an open box but it’s handled with care, something he steadily unpacked.
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ww2yaoi · 22 days
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twenty questions for fic writers
tagged by @oatflatwhite thank you for tagging me <3
1. how many works do you have on ao3?
50 fics so far
2. what's your total ao3 word count?
252,448 words
3. what fandoms do you write for?
I tend to migrate from fandom to fandom. write a bunch for one then move on then write a bunch for another then move on lol. currently masters of the air and working on a band of brothers fic but I've written for succession, mindhunter, better call saul
4. top five fics by kudos
you go to my head (and you linger like a haunting refrain (mota)
have you forgotten what we were like then (succession)
bomber's moon (mota)
my breath reaches for the back of your neck (succession)
good men die too/oh, I’d rather be with you (mota)
5. do you respond to comments?
pretty much every single one lol
6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
probably my most recent one actually: if I could give you the moon (I would give you the moon)
7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
my mindhunter long fic ends pretty happily: the same deep water as you
8. do you get hate on fics?
no, I never have. I think the most critical thing someone said about one of my fics was it wasn't realistic to canon which is whatever who cares
9. do you write smut?
yup, if I feel it's relevant to the characters and their relationship
10. craziest crossover
never written one and probably will never write one
11. have you ever had a fic stolen?
not to my knowledge
12. have you ever had a fic translated?
yup!
13. have you ever co-written a fic before?
nope and I don't think I would I'm too much of a control freak with my writing I would go insane
14. all time favorite ship?
god who even knows. I bounce around a lot. kenstewy will always have a special place in my heart but I've moved on so probably winnix but I don't write for them
15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
a creature likes the cold my cobra kai kreese/terry vietnam war fic oh boy I just do not have it in me lmao
16. what are your writing strengths?
setting the mood and the atmosphere and the scene. at least that's what people tell me
17. what are your writing weaknesses?
probably plot as well lmao
18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?
currently doing this for the first time with german in my webgott fic and we'll see how it turns out. I've done research and try to find good sources for it, but if there are any egregious mistakes I can probably just say joe and web aren't native speakers and their german isn't very good (which isn't out of the question canonically)
19. first fandom you wrote in?
chronicles of narnia I think. when I was like 12
20. favorite fic you've written?
GOD WHO KNOWS I'm really critical of my fics and I kind of feel ambivalent about them once they're published. but my breath reaches for the back of your neck is probably pretty close to the top and maybe bomber’s moon
anyways, thanks for the tag! I tag whoever wants to do this I never remember who writes fic so if you want to do this say I tagged you <3 mwah
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rayslittlekitten · 2 years
Text
Captain and the Siren
“Dad Will” Masterlist
A/N: So, I had wanted to do a lighter and playful and more sensual fic with some of the elements I used in "Cooling Off" with Will (water gun play, sundress, chasing). I had a general idea of where I wanted it to go and then it got away from me and kinda wrote itself. It became something a little more and I actually love how this came out. Thank you @carni-val for looking at this, as always! 💖 It's about time Will and his wife get some sexy times.
Rating: E (18+ ONLY)
Word Count: 3,245
Pairing: Dad!Will "Ironhead" Miller x Wife F!Reader
Plot: A spontaneous water gun fight leads to your husband appreciating and loving your body.
Contains: silliness, laundry room love making (P in V), masturbation (F), banter, fluff, water gun play, chasing, sundress, roleplaying, body insecurities (alluding more towards aging and having bear children), body appreciation, comfort, a little biting, binding, stripping
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Will thought he was going to have a low key Sunday, seeing as Lucy is spending yet another day in the pool, but luckily this time, it is at her friend's house. He'll make a mental note to send a fruit basket or something to their parents knowing what kind of mess her and her friends are probably going to leave and he's looking right at it. He knows Lucy was taught better. To be fair, the pool accessories are in the pool where they're meant to be. The unicorn float, pool noodles, inflatable balls all bobbing on the surface of the chlorine water, but Lucy knows better to put them away when she's not using them, especially the water guns and other toys which her and her friends left strewn around the pool and lounge chairs. He likes organization. At least she didn't leave any wet towels balled up.
Will starts to pick up the toys and puts them back where they should be after rinsing them off in the pool. He scoops up a super soaker and feels the weight of the water that’s still in it. As he's about to empty it out into the pool, he gets interrupted when you call out to him. He turns his body towards where you're standing, in the frame of the sliding patio door.
"Whoa! Don't shoot me! I just wanted to ask if you want a sandwich. I'm making lunch," you tell him with your hands up.
Will looks down at the water gun and then back to you, making the connection. A smirk slowly plays on his face and you shoot back a look of warning.
"You wouldn't dare," you tell him.
He pumps the water gun once and a stream of water lands by your feet, making you squeal and jump back into the safety of your house.
"Come on, this is a new dress!" you giggle.
You've been feeling self-conscious lately about how gravity and time has slowly transformed your body so you splurged on a cute floral sundress the other day that looked flattering on you. With the hem hitting just a few inches above your knees, it is long enough to be modest, but also short enough to be a bit sassy, the flowy skirt bouncing with each step you take. The V-neckline teases just the top of your breasts, but undoing the top button or two could turn it into a sexy little number. Today seemed like a nice day to show it off, but you would have thought twice about wearing it if you knew you were getting into a water gun fight with your husband.
"It's a cute dress on you," Will compliments.
"Thank you!" You smile and do a little twirl.
“But I think it could use some finishing touches," Will adds, throwing the gun strap over his head and shoulder as he slowly inches towards you.
You squeal again and take off running when Will starts moving quickly towards you. You sprint through the house, looking for a place to hide. You scream when you feel cold water hit the back of your leg but you keep moving, weaving in and out of rooms as Will chases after you. When you find yourself in the living room, you try to use the furniture as a barrier. The puke green and neon yellow and orange gun in his hands is aimed at you, ready to squirt.
"NOT in here. These couches are suede," you warn him.
"Okay, fair." Will eases the gun and points it down at the ground.
You cautiously walk away, watching him as you slowly make your way out from behind the couch. When you see a path out, Will starts inching closer to you so you take off running again and as expected, he is on your heels. You know he's holding back because he can outrun you any day, especially with those long legs of his. You end up running into the laundry room and realize it's a mistake. You're cornered with nowhere to go. There isn't even anything to hide behind. Defeated, you quickly turn to face Will with your hands in the air.
“Okay, okay you got me!” You say after taking a few seconds to catch your breath. “Just don’t shoot me!”
"What would be the fun in that?" Will aims the water gun at you and just as he's about to squeeze the trigger, you hold your hands out and rattle off the first words that come to mind.
"Wait, wait! No, no, I'll do anything!" you giggle.
Will lowers the toy gun and tilts his head to the side in confusion.
"What do you mean you'll do anything?" he raises an eyebrow.
"Well..." you shrug, inadvertently causing a strap to slip off your shoulder. "What if I can offer you something in return for my freedom?" Your fingers play around with the button at the top of your dress that's sitting right above your cleavage. "Captain?"
Will licks his lips as his eyes focus on your chest.
"Well, what are you offering?" he asks, intrigued by this turn of event.
"I can... offer myself," you reply as you step closer to him. "I can be your little whore."
"Hm, I don't like that word. Too degrading," he scrunches his nose. “Wench?”
“Okay, when I said ‘Captain’, I didn’t mean like, of a pirate ship,” you shoot back with your hand on your hip popped to the side, pulling a laugh from Will.
"Well, I can be whatever you want me to be,” you add, jumping back into your role, slipping your hands over his chest and sliding them up to the back of his neck, hooking your fingers together while waiting for his response.
"Hm, it does sound pretty tempting," Will says, pretending to consider the offer. “How desperate are you?” he teases as he tries to peek down the front of your dress.
"I'm very desperate." You lean in to kiss him, but he jerks his head away. You try again, but he moves away again. The smirk on his face tells you he's enjoying this very much.
"So, anything, huh?" Will asks as he backs you up against the washing machine.
"Uh huh," you nod. "Anything you please, sir."
Will lets out a groan as he presses himself against you. You bite your lower lip, feeling his rock hard erection.
"Open up your dress," he nods his chin at your body, taking a step back to watch you.
You hesitate at first, feeling a little shy, but you start at the top button and slowly make your way down, taking your time to let him enjoy the show, until you finally get to the last one. You stand there, waiting for his next command.
"Get on top of the washing machine," he pats the top of the appliance.
You hoist yourself up and get comfortable. Will uses the tip of the water gun to open your dress up, admiring the view in front of him.
"No bra? Mm," he groans as he glances at your breasts hanging freely.
His eyes travel below your waist and the gun follows, pausing between your inner thighs before gesturing your legs open further with the tip of the gun. You bring your arms back to support yourself as you lean back and spread your legs. Your dress falls open even wider, showing yourself to him. You're grateful for the dimly lit room, only being illuminated by the narrow stream of sunlight coming from a small window.
"I want you to touch yourself.”
You reach your hand down between your legs to tease yourself with your fingers at first, gently grazing the tips along the cotton-covered slit. Your husband's eyes are glued to your sweet spot. It feels like it's been a long time since you've both been able to have some spontaneous fun like this without any interruptions or obligations. You let a quiet moan slip out when you drag your finger over your clit. You close your eyes and roll your head to the side as you increase the pressure and focus on a spot that's lighting up your core.
"You look so fucking hot right now," Will whispers as he continues to watch you pleasure yourself.
Feeling a bit more confident, you shift your position to slide your hand into the front of your panties, causing the other strap to fall off your other shoulder, completely exposing your body, with the exception of your underwear. He steps into the space between your legs, leaving the gun hanging behind him before grabbing your waist and pulling you closer to him. You continue to touch yourself, slipping a finger inside, while maintaining eye contact with him. He leans in and captures your mouth with his own, kissing you like it's his first time with you. The two of you make out for a few moments, teasing each other with tongues and nibbles. You can hear him breathing deeply through his nose as he devours you. His whiskers are tickling your face, but it's something you're used to.
Will finally pulls away for some air, but keeps close, your noses bumping. You pull your hand out from your panties and slip your fingers into his wet mouth. He swirls his tongue around them and gently sucks on them as you slowly pull them out of his mouth with a pop.
"Mm, I love the way you taste," Will licks his lips, then leaves a quick peck on your lips.
He reaches underneath your dress and hooks his fingers to the sides of your panties and then pulls them down, dragging them over your hips. You shift yourself to help him remove them and he slides them down your smooth legs. He carelessly tosses them aside, not caring where they land, then steps back into the space between your legs. You bite your lower lip, anticipating his next move.
One of his hands reaches up to cup your face and he leans in to kiss you again. This time it's more intentional, taking his time to savor the moment. He's kissing you like he did on your wedding day. Passionate, yet not rushed. Just his soft lips gently and tenderly caressing yours, feeling his love translate through his affection. You moan into his mouth when you feel his other hand kneading one of your breasts as his thumb flicks your nipple. Your hand reaches down into his tenting basketball shorts, but Will grabs your wrist and breaks the kiss.
“Hey! Who said you can touch me?”
"Sorry, I didn't know I needed permission to touch my husband," you reply.
"Am I your husband or your captor?" Will asks, taking your wrists and pinning them behind you.
"I'm sorry, Captain," you apologize with a wide smile playing on your face.
He stares at you for a moment, seeing the gears in his head moving, before releasing your wrists.
"Don't move."
You stay put as you watch him disappear below the washing machine, but come back with your panties in his hand. He reaches behind you again and ties your wrists together with your underwear. You're happy to see him really having fun with this.
"So your hands don't go wandering while I... plunder and pillage... your village," Will sputters and you burst out laughing right along with him.
"Are-are you a Viking now?" you ask, your words slipping in between snorts which makes Will laugh even harder. You lean into Will, your head resting on his shoulder as you continue to crack up.
"I-I don't know what I'm doing," Will says as he recovers from his laughing fit. "I can't even really see what I'm doing." He reaches for the light switch and you retreat, wincing when the room is lit up, highlighting all the parts of your body you've been feeling insecure about.
"What's the matter?" he asks, turning his attention back to you.
"I..." You try to make yourself smaller, turning and shifting your body with your limitations. "I'm feeling a little shy about my body," you admit.
"Why's that?" he asks curiously.
"Well, you know, things aren’t as perky anymore," you shrug. "And--"
"Let me stop you right there," Will cuts you off. He places both of his hands on each side of your hips, closing you in. "I don't know what or who put those thoughts into your head, but you are just as gorgeous as the first time I laid my eyes on you. Sure, your body has changed - as has mine. I mean..." He pinches a handful of his midsection where he once had a six-pack. “I’m no spring chicken anymore.”
"But it doesn't make it any less beautiful. In fact..." Will leans in, nudging his nose against the side of your neck while inhaling your scent.
"Every transformation..." He kisses your neck.
"Is just a testament..." He works his way down to your collar bone and plants a kiss there as well.
"Every swell..." Moving lower, he runs the tip of his tongue up the valley between your breasts.  
"Every shrink..." He then drags his tongue across and down each breast. You stifle a moan when you feel him flicking your nipples as he passes over them.
"Every dip..." Continuing his path, he leaves a trail of kisses down your torso. "Every curve, every stretch..."
He gives your belly a little more attention than he had with your other body parts.
“Every dent, every bump…” His lips bring attention to the apex where your legs and crotch meet.
"Every mark, every scar..." He settles between your legs and playfully bites your inner thigh, causing you to giggle.
"To what your miraculous body has endured in your life journey.” He places a tender kiss where he bit you.
“Including creating life and nurturing it. And that actually makes you so much more beautiful and sexy." He looks up at you with so much sincerity, you can’t help but melt, feeling your chest suddenly get so full.
“Babe, you’re gonna make me cry,” you pout.
“They’re tears of joy I hope,” Will smiles. He stands up and kisses your forehead.
“I’ll always want you,” he says. “No matter how much your body changes, no matter how old you get. Even when my dick stops working," he chuckles and you let out a chortle.
"You know, they got pills for that kinda stuff now," you throw in, softening the mood.
"Well, until that day comes, I got all I need right in front of me." Will grabs your hips and pulls you closer to him. "You're not a wench. You're a saucy siren and I'm gonna ravage you now."
You bust out laughing again, but he cuts you off when he slots his mouth over yours. He kneads your ass and then runs his palms up your sides, gripping your waist. Reaching down, he pulls his semi-hard cock out of his shorts and jerks himself to full mast. He briefly breaks from the kiss to align himself with you at the edge of the washing machine. Gently, he pushes into you, feeling your body tense up and relax under his touch as he goes in further. He pulls back out and slams right back into you, making you groan. Once again, he slowly withdraws himself and then buries himself inside you. You let out a gasp as he continues to push himself to the hilt, filling you up.
"Am I hurting you?" Will asks, stilling his hips.
"No," you shake your head.
"Are you comfortable?" he checks.
"Mm hm," you moan as you nod your head.
"Good." With one hand gripping your waist and the other on your hip, he pounds into, holding on to you so you don't fall over.
With your bound hands behind you, you balance yourself on the washing machine and tilt your hips to get a better angle. He watches your face contort as he alternates between giving you short and long strokes, teasing and toying with you.
"Will..." you grunt.
"Shh, just focus on the feeling." He brings a hand down between the two of you and works his thumb over your clit in small circles.
Your hips jerk when you feel the pressure of his finger massaging you, but his pacing doesn't change. It feels like torture, the way he's dragging out the pleasure. Just enough stimulation to spark something, but not enough to ignite it. He knows all the ways to play with your body until you lose your mind and beg for mercy.
"Please..." You pant, wrapping your legs around his hips and pull him in closer, needing relief.
"I've got you, baby."
Will wraps his arms around your torso and draws you in, holding you close to his chest. Your legs tighten their grip, not caring that the water gun is digging into your skin, as he pumps into you harder and faster. You want to be as close to him as you physically can. He's stroking you in all the right places, and you feel the familiar warmth spreading through your lower belly.
Your sweet moans and pants are music to his ears; Your enchanting songs entice him more and more as he slips deeper into you, punching up into you. Will leans his forehead against yours as he continues to move in and out of you like he wants to bury himself inside of you.
"God, you feel so fucking good," he breathes out.
Seeing Will's lust-filled eyes tells you he's close, but he suddenly pulls out, confusing you. He hooks his arms under your knees and grabs a hold of each side of your hips, spreading you wider. Thankfully having your arms behind you prevented you from falling back.
He slams himself back into you and you immediately feel him hitting some sensitive spots inside you from this deeper angle. He's determined and giving all he's got, to the point you're pretty sure he nudged the washing machine.
Without warning, your orgasm blooms and you're feeling dizzy. It's like firecrackers on the Fourth of July going through your body. You cry out as your walls continue to squeeze him over and over again, with each stroke intensifying your release. Moments later, Will lets out a moan as his hips stutter while spilling himself inside of you.
Will falls on top of you as he catches his breath, his face buried in the crook of your neck. You shudder feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm. You feel his hand caressing your ribs as he pushes himself up, relieving you from his weight. He looks down at you with a super wide grin.
"I love you, baby."
"I love you too," you shoot back, staring up into his crystal blue eyes.
"Come on, let's have some lunch." He pecks the tip of your nose.
After pulling out of you, he helps you up and unties you. You hop off the washing machine and after the two of you put your clothes back, he steps aside to let you go ahead of him.
"After you, m’lady.”
You chuckle and walk out through the door and as you exit the laundry room, you shriek when you feel a stream of cold water hit your back. You quickly turn around and as expected, you find Will wielding the water gun.
“You had to see that coming,” Will shrugs.
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lilydalexf · 2 years
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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted on Tuesdays.
Interview with Lydia Bower
Lydia Bower has written some true classic X-Files fics. Do yourself a favor and dig into her collection! She has 29 stories at Gossamer and 35 stories at AO3.
Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?
Actually, yes, it does. With AO3 becoming the premiere spot for fanfic (rightfully so, by the way) I assumed most of the newer fans were unaware of the Gossamer Archive and the few other sites still available for the older fics. So I was delighted to come back into the fandom and see folks reccing a lot of the classics.
What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?
I remember how incredible it felt when I initially found people who got me, who were just as stupidly invested in this weird little TV show as I was. It was like nothing else I’d ever experienced. There were message boards and newsgroup lists and email lists; anything you wanted to talk about, you could find a place to do it. I loved the post-episode discussions and would spend hours at that. We had a week (or months) between episodes, so nothing went undissected. We were all very, um, focused. Yeah, focused is as good a word as any.
And then the fanfic started showing up. That was it for me; I was all in. I can still remember going first to Vincent’s archive and it was like achieving a state of nirvana. The heavens opened up, the birds began to sing, and all was right with the world.
What did I take away from it? More friendships and good memories than I can count. That’s something I’ll carry with me for the rest of my days. Oh, and the two best imaginary friends a person can have: Mulder and Scully. I carry them too, etched indelibly on my being.
Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?
I was involved with all of it in the beginning. I bounced from newsgroups to mailing lists to message boards to web sites. Around the 5th or 6th season it got to be a bit much since I was also doing a lot of writing then, so I narrowed things down and got the majority of my fix from The Haven message board and the smaller Primal Screamers email group.
What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?
As I said before, the friendships and the good times with fellow Philes. I also took away a better sense of who I am as a writer and how to use that to hone my skills. I learned how to look at media as a whole with a more critical and analytical eye and to dig beneath the surface of what I was consuming. I learned how to better express myself and maintain a cool head while in the midst of a fiery discussion. I became more confident of who I am and the worth of my opinions. I finished growing up, basically. Most of all, I learned how to just let go and enjoy being a fan of something so incredible that still connects with people almost 30 years later. That’s a legacy to be proud of.
What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?
I’ve always been drawn to the paranormal and the strange, and when I caught an ad for TXF, I made sure to tune in. The Pilot itself was enough to hook me. It was creepy and a little scary and the two leads were incredibly smart. It didn’t hurt that they were also good-looking and had smoking hot chemistry. Like the kind that jumps in through your eyeballs and settles into a low boil somewhere below the waist.
The final act of my undoing came with the episode Conduit. By the end of it I knew the show had a firm grip on my soul. Mulder captured my heart that night, too. He still has it. He’s one of a very small handful of characters I’ve encountered over the years that I just get, at a bone-deep level I can’t even begin to explain. I am him and he is me.
What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?
I’d been writing fanfic since the mid-80s but hit the proverbial wall that is writer’s block right around the time the show premiered. I wanted to write TXF fanfic from the start, but the muse wasn’t having it. She reappeared not long after The Field Where I Died first aired. I hopped around on the web a bit and found much wailing and gnashing of teeth on the shipper front. The muse decided we needed to give my fellow shippers something to make them feel better and give them a bit of hope. So I wrote Games. And the rest is history.
What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?
I reacquainted myself with it earlier this year after an extended absence. I walked away from the show and the fandom after my utter disappointment with the direction the show took after the 7th season. I just couldn’t choke down what TPTB were trying to feed me in S8, and completely tuned out of S9 (with the exception of the finale). I saw IWTB a couple years after it was released in theaters and watched the revival, too. Sadly, nothing I saw there made me want to dive back in. Then one night this past spring I was poking around for something to watch and caught Paper Hearts on a broadcast channel. That was all it took. That feeling I thought I’d lost came roaring back and I settled in for a complete S1-7 rewatch. I poked around looking for a spot to call home and came back to my safe place on Tumblr.
I’m neck-deep now, for however long that feeling lasts, and devoting a lot of my free time (again) to this weird little show about aliens and monsters and two people who love each other dearly. And I’m writing fanfic again - after another bout of writer’s block that lasted almost seven years.
Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?
I got pretty deeply involved with the Game of Thrones fandom when the show began. I was already a fan of George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Fire and Ice book series and liked what I saw the first few years. I wrote several fanfics in the ASOIAF universe, and I’m still involved, but only from the perspective of a book fan. The show went too far off the rails toward the end of its run and killed my love for it.
Compared to TXF, I think it’s a much more segmented fandom. There are several small groups built around dozens of characters there, instead of what I see in TXF fanbase as a larger, more inclusive community. I think it’s safe to say we’re all here for Mulder & Scully in one respect or another. The other characters get their share of love too, but it’s the MSR that draws us in and helps keep us here. Other than that, fangirling is fangirling. You find your tribe and take it from there.
Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?
Well, let’s start with Fox Mulder, with the why of it being what I tried to explain earlier. Dana Scully, because I want to be her when I grow up, but without all the emotional and physical damage she had to endure. I’m also a fan of Sandor Clegane from ASOIAF. Stu Redman from Stephen King’s The Stand. Kevin Garvey and Nora Durst from the HBO show The Leftovers. Olivia Dunham and the Bishops from Fringe. The Three Musketeers that make up the core group of the TV show Evil. I could go on, but I don’t want to bore you. Suffice to say I’m drawn to characters who are complex, damaged, and deeply flawed, but are trying their best to do the right thing and who are ultimately perfectly imperfect human beings.
Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?
At present, every day. I’m very much back in over my head right now. If I’m not watching it, I’m writing about it, or talking about it. I don’t know how to obsess just a little bit when it comes to TXF and Moose and Squirrel.
Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?
Absolutely! It’s almost overwhelming how much fanfic I have to catch up on, let alone the new fics being posted daily; and all that while trying to reread some of my old favorites on Gossamer and the other OG archives. I don’t have time to read fanfics in other fandoms right now. Maybe someday.
Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?
How much room do you have for this? <g> Okay, in no particular order and no doubt forgetting some folks, I’ll read anything by these OG authors: Karen Rasch, Terma99, Nascent, Jill Selby, Madeleine Partous, Meredith, Kipler, MCA, Anne Haynes (Paula Graves), Penumbra (@mashnotesofthemythopoeic), Rachel Anton, Joyce McKibben, Tim Scott, Darwin_xf (@darwin-xf), Suzanne Schramm, Prufrock’s Love, Sue Barringer, Mustang Sally, Rivkat, Dianora, Plausible Deniability, A.I. Irving, Rachel Howard, MD1016, Punk Maneuverability (@seepunkrun), bugs, Dasha K (@dashakay​), Khyber, Blackwood, and OneMillionAndNine.
As far as new to me authors (OG or not), these folks are also talented wordsmiths: leiascully (@leiascully), Aloysia_Virgata (@aloysiavirgata), audries, and lepusarcticus (@lepus-arcticus). I’m sure there are more great authors out there, but I haven’t had as much time as I’d like to dig into the newer stuff on AO3.
What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?
TXF: Pass You By, Light Don’t Sleep, Red Letter Day, Primal Sympathy, In the Ruins, Dance Without Sleeping, and Incomplete. I’ll stop there but please understand that they’re all my babies and I love them equally. I’m also very fond of the Let Everything Happen to You series I recently completed.
ASOIAF: These Scars We Wear, The Calling, Beggar’s Banquet.
Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?
I’m doing both. I’ve written and posted 10 new fanfics since I came back into the fold and I’m working on another one right now. I also have a casefile WIP I’m struggling with that I began during the early part of S4 and set aside when the cancer arc reared its head.
I’m also in the process of bringing all my older stuff from Gossamer and my defunct website over to AO3. I think I still have 2 or 3 shorter pieces still to be moved and one post-Fight the Future fic I wrote that’s lost somewhere on the net. If anyone has a copy of my fanfic titled Shift laying around, please give me a holler! [Lilydale note: Fic found! I had a copy and sent it to Lydia.]
Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?
See above!
Where do you get ideas for stories?
From the ether. Seriously. Something, whether it be a line of dialogue, a question, an image, or a scene, will just pop into my head and demand my time. I’ve written 6,000-word fanfics just to slip in a single line. I don’t know how the muse works or why; I’m just along for the ride.
What's the story behind your pen name?
I always published under my own name until I set up my AO3 account. I went with wonderland there because I’m like Alice when I’m writing: I fall down the rabbit hole into Wonderland and enter a different reality.
Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?
Yeah, they know I write it but not where to find it. Though I suppose a Google search would make it easy enough to locate. My family and friends have always been supportive of my writing, albeit confused that I’ve chosen to write fanfic instead of “real” fiction. Yeah, I know.
Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?
wonderland on AO3
@amplifyme on Tumblr
amplifyme271 on the bird app
Lydia Bower everywhere else
Thanks for your invitation, Lilydale, this was fun!
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welcometololaland · 11 months
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Binged Read "living at the centre of would...." tonight, and i am in tears, I just love love your writing so damn much Lola 🫶🏼 You grip on Characters and their Characterization is so strong. I have read every single of your Lone star fics till date. You are my Favorite author!! I have specially made a tumblr account to reach out to the beautiful writers of this fandom and appreciate them and let you'll know that you all matter so very much to us!!!
Can't wait to read what more beautiful things you put for us, i m specifically so intrested in ALTA ( just genuine excitement and want to share the Excitement , no pressure, please take your time,m very patient lmao)
Never Understood Grief so wonderfully and truthfully before!
Thank You <3
(ALTA SNIPPET BELOW CUT)
Thank you so much! The honeymoon fic was difficult for me to write (because I don't often write angst), but it was also incredibly cathartic. I think it helped me process a lot of my own feelings about season 4 episodes 17 and 18, and also made me think deeper about Carlos in particular and his state of mind in these episodes.
I feel honoured to know you have read so many of my stories! I hope they brought you joy <3 I think it's awesome you made a tumblr account to tell people that you like their work!
ALTA is finished, but it is in beta-phase. I'm not sure when it will be ready but I'm hoping to post ch 1 soon(ish). This fic has been so fiddly and difficult, I don't think I've EVER spent so much time nitpicking. I've re-written and re-worked the chapters so many times it's insane. Never write a mystery, guys. It's HARD lol. Here, have a snippet (it's unbeta-d, don't judge me).
Summer Break, June 2015
“Carlos,” TK sighs, sliding himself into the passenger seat of Carlos’ car, jiggling the ancient manual windows to wind them down, allowing fresh air in. Carlos knows he’s going to have to get a better car one day – he can’t keep driving around in something that has no AC in the middle of Texas – but he’s also a broke student and his father isn’t a movie star. Not that he’ll be reminding TK of that, lest he turn up to TK’s house one day and find himself presented with a brand new Range Rover.
Although, given recent events, he’s never going to be able to set foot in TK’s house again.
“Carlos,” TK repeats with a little huff, leaning back against the seat as Carlos backs out of Owen’s driveway. “Why are you so mad? It’s not like this is the first time this has happened—”
“TK,” Carlos exclaims, one hand tapping the steering wheel in exasperation. “Your dad walked in and we were—”
“My dad has walked in on us loads of times,” TK argues. “He has no sense of privacy, you know that.”
“Yes, but—”
“One time he caught me practically giving you a blowjob, remember?” TK interjects. “I think it was the first time you met him, actually—”
“TK!” Carlos practically cries. “How are you not more concerned about the fact that your dad walked in while you were riding me?”
TK shrugs. “I don’t know,” he replies, infuriatingly calm. “We’re adults and adults have sex, right? I don’t think anyone in the Strand household is under any illusions as to why the pool house was out of bounds for six months straight.”
Carlos has a sudden urge to take a random left hand turn and drive them into another state. He’s not sure he can bear to be in the same timezone as Owen Strand, knowing that he’s seen them in such a compromising position. On second thoughts, Carlos wishes he could drive to Antarctica.
“Seriously, baby,” TK says, holding his palm up on the centre console, begging for Carlos’ touch. “It’s going to be okay. I bet my dad won’t even say anything. I mean, he might make an awkward joke about it but trust me, he doesn’t care.”
Carlos blows out a breath. “I don’t know,” he replies with uncertainty. “I’m beginning to think we should move out.”
Out of his peripherals, he can see TK practically bounce in the passenger seat. “Some place other than your college dorm?” he asks. “Carlos, that would be—”
“I’m not serious,” Carlos interjects, then feels terrible about it when he looks across at TK’s face and sees it fall. “Wait, hang on, I didn’t mean—”
TK retracts his hand and brings it to his face, covering his mouth as he turns to look out of the passenger-side window. 
“TK,” Carlos calls, sighing as he pulls over to the kerb and throws the car into park. “TK, look at me.”
TK turns back slowly, a sad frown etched into his features. “I get it,” he says, a little despondently. “I mean, I’d be terrible to live with. I know you think I’m spoiled and I don’t know how to do anything, and I do hate chores but I’d do them if it meant I got to live with you.”
“I don’t think any of those things,” Carlos says softly, reaching across the space between them to rest his palm on TK’s leg. “Sweetheart, I’d love nothing more than to live with you—”
“I do hate chores,” TK admits. “Come on, that part is true.”
“Okay,” Carlos concedes, allowing his lips to curl into a smile as he watches TK’s do the same. “If we’re being honest, you suck at chores. But I’m sure you could get good at them, with practice.”
“Maybe,” TK says, wrinkling his nose. “I hear you’re a pretty good teacher.”
“I am,” Carlos replies seriously, leaning halfway across the console to kiss the tip of TK’s nose and then his lips. “I want to live with you, TK,” he says. “I just can’t afford that right now. Plus, we’re young. Maybe it’s a good idea to wait until we finish college at least.”
“And give my dad more opportunities to walk in on us?” TK asks, arching an eyebrow. “Your funeral, Reyes.”
Carlos shrugs, trying to school his expression. “Oh no, that’s not happening,” he says smoothly. “We just can’t have sex at your place anymore.”
“What are you suggesting?” TK scoffs. “That we have sex in your dorm room? Because Darren is gonna have to get real cool with some stuff pretty quickly…”
Carlos shakes his head. “I was thinking more like abstinence.”
TK chokes. “Abst— No, Carlos. Abstinence does not work when your boyfriend looks like this.” He flourishes his hands in Carlos’ direction, motioning to the entire top half of his body.
“Was thinking we could wait until marriage,” Carlos teases, turning the ignition back on as TK squawks. 
“Okay,” he says, “I guess we’re getting married tomorrow.”
“Not legal yet,” Carlos points out. “Guess we’ll have to wait a while.”
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otteranha · 1 year
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 part 1 Part 3 of the snowed in blackout at Steve’s house fic*
*did I skip part 2 because this section was finished and wouldn’t get out of my brain? yes, yes I did. apologies for any confusion, part 2 will be out sometime. 
It was nearly 6 o’clock and the chaos had dulled to a simmer. Eddie had to admit that it was a lot of hosting to take on for a lot of long, dark, empty hours if Harrington had been letting the kids stay over since the storm. No wonder the guy looked shell shocked. Once the question of the television was officially out, Eddie got the kids circled up, passing around a flashlight as they told each other ghost stories. Peace reigning upon earth, Eddie peeled himself off the floor and left the group to their pseudo-campfire tales, and snuck back into the kitchen.
The overhead lights were still on there and in the hallway, everything else dark. Steve was arranging fix-in’s for s’mores on several plates. It was the first time Eddie’d seen him alone all day. Steve looked up, “Hey thanks for your help this afternoon. I think I might actually have lost my mind there if I had to face that lot alone.” Eddie hadn’t expected that. “Oh, no problem. You’re the one doing us a favor really.” “Yeah but you fully made yourself the bad guy back there, with the TV. That- that was a big help.”
“Well, you can’t play good-cop bad-cop all by yourself. They always gang up on you like that?” “Nah,” said Steve, “Usually they’re pretty great. I want to say sweet but that’s giving them too much credit, usually they’re...” “Salty? Savory? Umami?”
Steve laughed. “Sure, let’s go with that. Besides they’re lightyears better people than I was at their age so. I try to cut them some slack.” He trailed off, then exclaimed, “Oh you never got your shower did you?” Eddie, in fact, had not. 
“You can go now, if you don’t mind showering by lantern. The water heater’s still getting power.”
“Right now I’d shower by bioluminescent fish if the water was hot.” 
Steve laughed again- strangely gratifying. “Let me get this out to them and I’ll grab you a towel.” He disappeared with the snacks. When he returned he lead Eddie not towards his dad’s gym where everyone had been showering all day, but upstairs.
“Luring me into the bowels of Castle Harrington? I’m not going to end up bricked into a wall, am I?” Eddie asked. The hallway was long, deeply carpeted and spookily pristine.
“It’s a mess in there. I swear, not one person cleaned the drain. I should make a sign.” He lead Eddie into a bedroom with an ensuite bathroom tiled all over in what was either pale grey or lavender, impossible to tell by flashlight.
“Your parents don’t mind you letting the rabble invade their room?”
“Oh, this is a spare room.”
Eddie felt himself blush, of course it was a spare room idiot. Because people like the Harrington’s had to spend their money on things like rooms nobody slept in 90% of the time. He bounced around, distracting from his mistake, coming to rest in front of a display of photographs on a presumably empty dresser. 
“Must be handy for all those Harrington family get togethers, huh?”
“d’Agostino get togethers actually. My mom’s family. Dad’s an only child.”
“That explains a lot.”
“You’re an only child, aren’t you?” Steve said, but he didn’t sound mad, just matter of fact. 
Eddie had to admit his point.”Touchè, your Majesty.”
“They were going to have more kids I guess,” Steve went on, “But mom says she ruined her figure enough just having me.” His tone was light but in the weird flickering light from the flashlights, everything seemed to have a kind of gravity.
“You have a lot of cousins,” said Eddie looking over the photographs- dozens of people with symmetrical faces, standing in symmetrically arranged poses in rows symmetrically arranged frames.
“Yeah. We haven’t seen them in years. Mom stopped talking to her family after my grandpa died. It was tough on her and- ” he cut himself off abruptly.
“And what?” “Nothing.” “Tell me.” “Rich people problems. You don’t want to hear about it.”
“Sure I do,” and to his surprise Eddie did. “Lay that Park Avenue drama on me Harrington.”
“My mom’s got three brothers, she’s the only girl. It’s just that my grandpa was really old school, traditional, you know? He divided everything equally among his kids in his will, but instead of leaving my mom’s share to her he... he put it in a trust. For me, when I turn 21. I don’t know all the details, I was only 10 when he died but I remember she was going to leave my dad. She had an apartment and a lawyer and everything.” He drummed his fingers nervously over the dresser and went on. 
"Then her dad died and she was gonna use the money he left her to get away and start over. Only she didn’t get any of it. And her brothers wouldn’t help her out, because they thought she was asking for more than her share. I think she was kind of mad at me too, because grandpa left me the money instead of her. I tried to give it to her once when I was a kid but she just got upset and told me not to mention it again. Anyway she stopped talking to her family after that so. Not many family get togethers.”
“That’s not fair though. It wasn’t your fault, you were just a kid.”
“I know, I think she just couldn’t help being a little mad about it. She’s a good mom though.” Steve raised his chin, defensive. The beam of the flashlight lay across the long column of his neck. “Oh yeah?”
"She could still have left my dad, but he would’ve kept me. His lawyers are really good. And she wasn’t going to leave me with him.”
“I get it,” said Eddie because suddenly, weirdly he did. He had something in common with Steve Harrington. Upstairs in the dark house, it felt like they were the only two people who existed, not in Steve’s parents’ guest room, but some weird pocket realm, through a wardrobe, or a looking glass.
“Do you?”
“I really do Steve.” Eddie cleared his throat, “My mom tried to leave my dad a bunch of times. Sometimes she had to leave in the middle of the night without even a bag but she always took me with her.”
“Oh.” Steve looked at him, this common ground seemingly just as surprising to him as it was to Eddie. “Is she- where is she now? If you don’t mind my asking.”
“Drunk driver.”
“I’m sorry.” 
“Yeah me too.” They stared a bit, not directly, but pretty steadily at each other’s shoes. Then Steve shook himself, tossing Eddie the towel.
“I’ll get out of your hair. Thanks again for helping with the kids. I really hate it when they get so- when I have to disappoint them like that.”
“Any time you need someone to play the big bad, just whistle. Especially if I can claim all the amenities of chez Harrington, seriously this towel is like a cloud had a baby with a lamb.”
“Aren’t lambs already babies?”
Eddie snorted. “Semantics. Now shoo.” Steve shooed. 
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