#if I wasn't it would be a lot easier to get past this stage | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vivwritesfics · 5 months

Text

(Oh My God) They Were Roommates

Chapter One - I Hate You

Is me starting another series before my dissertation a really bad idea? Yes, yes it is (but i had the idea and I need to get it written down asap)

Lando Norris and Y/N L/N were teammates. Tension had been between from the minute they started driving together and, when it only got worse, McLaren CEO Zac Brown decides there's only one solution: Have them live together.

1.5K

Series Masterlist

"Get out of my apartment!"

In the doorway of a little two bedroom apartment in Woking was Y/N L/N. She had a bad on her back and at least three suitcases behind her. And in front of her was Lando Norris, her teammate, biggest rival and mortal enemy.

Lando stared at her, dumbfounded. "Your apartment?" He repeated, expression still shocked. "No, Zac said this one is for me."

"Then why did he give me a key for apartment 241?"

They held up the exact same set of keys on the exact same keyring. Lando let out a sigh through his nose as he pocketed his version of the key. "Somebody clearly has royally fucked up," he said and sat on the couch.

"I'm gonna call him," said Y/N as she put the key back into her pocket. She pulled her phone from the back pocket of her jeans and dialled the number of her boss.

Zac Brown had been hers and Lando's boss for the last year and few months. He'd been dealing with hers and Lando's shit from day one, ever sine they revealing the McLaren car for that year. They'd almost gotten onto a fight on the stage in front of everybody.

Zac picked up the phone in just a few rings. "How're you liking the new place?" He asked in way of hello.

"It's great, Zac. Except it comes with an annoying little prick," Y/N spat.

There was a second where Zac didn't say anything. He saw this coming, had tried to mitigate it as best he could by telling Lando he'd be getting a roommate. Of course, he didn't say who that roommate would be: that would have just been asking for trouble.

But, then again, all of this was asking for trouble. Zac had been waiting for a call from at least one of them since he got into the office (he'd hoped it would have been Lando; over the past year he'd proven himself to be easier to deal with than Y/N, who didn't back down. No matter what).

"Get yourself unpacked, I'll deal with you tomorrow," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Zac put the phone down. He didn't say goodbye to his drivers, unless it was on race days. With nowhere left to go, Y/N dragged her things into the apartment. "Where's the second bedroom?" She grumbled as she looked down at Lando.

Without looking away from the television, Lando pointed behind him. But that wasn't helpful, since there was the kitchen just behind them and then two doors. "Furthest one," he said and Y/N dragged her bags through the rest of the apartment, heading to the furthest away bedroom.

The bedroom was sizeable, with a double bed and wardrobe already inside. But, other than that, there wasn't a lot. Y/N unpacked nothing but bedding and clothes for the next day. There was no way she was staying here, not living with Lando Norris.

***

Carpooling made so much sense when going to the same place as somebody, unless you hated that person. Zac watched from his office as two cars pulled up outside of the McLaren Technology centre.

The drivers got out of the car almost in sync. They both wore sunglasses as they strode towards the doors, Y/N's glare not visible behind her sunglasses as she followed Lando inside.

Things were clearly tense between them as they walked through the office. The drivers said nothing to each other, but their expressions said enough.

Where Lando took an elevator up to Zac's office, Y/N took the stairs. She ran up them, the two of them arriving at the same time (one of them out of breath and the other smirking at her).

She took the lead as they strode into the office. "Zac," Y/N began, but the CEO held his hand.

He wasn't like other bosses, he was a cool boss. But he was still there boss and, when he held up his hand, the two knew to shut up. "Sit down," he said, leaning back in his own chair.

Y/N and Lando sat in the seats on the other side of the desk. Her leg bounced as she waited for Zac to speak and Lando had his hands shoved into his pockets. Neither of them could ever agree on anything, except the fact that they're not leaving the room until they're not living together.

Zac laced his hands together and leaned forward, elbows on the desk. "You're both brilliant drivers," he began, "but you're both liabilities. You've both cost us millions because you keep trying to kill each other on the track. And your behaviour towards each other off track is bringing bad press to all of us at McLaren," he finished.

"We don't want to lose either of you as drivers, so we've come up with the brilliant plan to force you to get along."

Y/N's eyebrows were furrowed as she stared at her boss. "And if we refuse?" She asked him, placing one leg on top of the other.

"Then, we'll have to let one of both of you go. But the choice is yours."

But the choice wasn't really theirs. No matter what, they couldn't lose their seats, so they were just going to have to stick it out, suffer through it. Fuck.

The tension between the two wasn't just random. It had been brewing since their karting days. Even then they ran each other off the tracks and fought between races. Of course, back then it wasn't as big a deal.

There were way too many videos of when they were kids and they'd pushed each other off the track, gotten out of their karts and gotten into a physical fight. If they weren't so clearly talented, it would have affected their careers.

For the first few months of their Formula One careers in McLaren, the team thought they had made a mistake. If they weren't consistently in the points, Zac would have gotten rid of the both of them. But, truth be told, they were too good to let go.

So, he dangled this threat in front of them. Learn to get along or one of you is sacked. He'd thought about this hard, realised that this was the perfect threat. Y/N and Lando were so competitive that the thought of one of them losing their seat while the other thrived would have torn them apart.

"Fine," said Y/N. She stood up so quickly that the chair she was sat on, fell backwards. She quickly picked it up and rushed out of the office.

Lando said a goodbye to Zac and walked out of the office, rushing after her. He ran into the elevator just before the doors slid shut and stood beside her. They didn't look at each other, stared straight at the doors as the elevator took them down. "Sup, new roommate," he said with a smirk.

The elevator stopped moving and the doors slid open. "I hate you," Y/N said and walked out of the McLaren technology centre.

She drove her way back to the apartment in Woking in complete silence. Her grip on the steering wheel was so tight that it left imprints on her skin, on her palms and her finger tip.

How she didn't get pulled over for speeding, she'd never know. But the speed limit was the least of her concern as she made her way back to what was her new home.

But it would never be her home, not while Lando was living there.

***

Reluctantly, she unpacked her things. Hung her clothes up in her wardrobe and placed her underwear in the drawers. Y/N placed pictures of her family, pictures of her old F2 car, of her pets, of her car from the previous year up around her room. She pulled her lamp from her back and placed it on the bedside table, along with her phone, its charger, and her toiletries.

Lando had arrived home just minutes after her, but she'd already locked herself in her room. The only way they'd be able to get through this was by avoiding each other.

When her things were unpacked, Y/N sat on the bed and grabbed a book. A biography, all about the life of Enzo Ferrari. The one thing her room was missing was her sim racing rig, something her father was meant to bring up that day, but Y/N had told him to wait until she had somewhere new to live (which, we all know didn't happen. She was stuck in this apartment with Lando, whether she liked it or not).

Pressing her ear to the door, Y/N listened as Lando walked around. She waited until he walked past her room and into his own, shutting the door behind him. Only then did she walk out of her room to get herself something to eat and drink.

She could do this. All she had to do was avoid him.

Easy.

Taglist (OPEN): @biancathecool

#lando norris #lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris fluff #lando norris smut #lando norris x reader smut #lando norris x you #f1 #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #formula one #formula one x reader #formula one imagine #ln4 #ln4 imagine #ln4 x reader

1K notes · View notes

serene-destruction · 4 months

Note

Oh! Listen I love Husk and I need him to have more love! Maybe a Fem!Reader x Husk x Angel. Angel Dust and Reader would be a qpr quite obviously, just besties who want to give love to a grumpy cat. Other than that I give you creative freedom!

The first request! Just for future reference, my stories are gender neutral unless otherwise plot relevant. Anyways, enjoy!

I Could Get Used To You

(GN) Reader x Husker x (Queer Platonic)Angel Dust

TW: drunkenness, vague mentions of past trauma.

Work count: 5.6k

Summary: Life in hell isn't an easy one, but it's a lot easier to get through it when you find people to care about.

You and Angel had known of each other for quite some time, given that he had often attended the bar you worked at in his early years in hell. Despite how aggressively flirtatious he was you didn't mind him as much as some of the other regulars. He at least had the restraint to make those comments in between sets or after the show. You spent the first few months mostly ignoring him, as you did with all the other patrons. That became harder, though, when he had decided to see you after the show.

“Heya sweetheart!” he called out to you as you left the bar. You rolled your eyes and held your coat a little tighter, hoping that hiding your body might get him to leave you the hell alone. You had a rough night filled with drunken idiots disrupting your show with their shameless attempts to touch you and you certainly didn't need his comments to top it all off.

“Say what you want then leave me the hell alone” you nearly growled out your words. It was hard to stay composed after having spent hours keeping that fake smile for the crowd.

“Woah! Got it, bad night” he held his hands up in a show of surrender.

“Just wanna talk” he explained, his smile a little less cocky than when he made his usual comments at the bar. Truthfully it had caught you a little off guard, considering how you had ascribed total arrogant confidence to him. So you let out a sigh, motioning him to walk with you. You just simply didn't feel like arguing and you were pretty confident that he was mostly talk. Something you could easily placate until you made it back home.

“Just to be clear, if you lay a single one of those hands on me I'm cutting all of them off” you warn and he flashes a bright, teasing smile.

“Kinky~” his voice was sing-songy as he spoke. You crossed your arms, glared, and hoped he got the point.

“Right, right. I won't touch ya” he agreed and you were able to grow a little more comfortable. Still, you remained on guard.

“Names Angel by the way” he sounded so sure of himself as he spoke, a set of hands held on his hips in a show of confidence. He had only just started his career back then, his fame in its early stages. It wasn't a surprise when you didn't recognize it.

“Y/n. Though I'm sure you already knew that” your words held an edge, your tense posture clear. But he simply nodded along.

“Yeah. Still a nice name though” his smile widened a little and, despite the minor disdain you had started with, you could see him already growing on you.

“Right…any particular reason you decided to talk to me tonight of all nights? I've seen you around the bar for a while now” you questioned him, rather curious about why exactly now of all times he wanted to suddenly meet you.

“I just wanted to let ya know you did good tonight. I get how much of a bummer pricks messin’ with your show can be.” the genuine compliment surprised you so much that you're silent for a moment. A moment too long apparently as he speaks again.

“If it means anything it was one’a my favorites so far” At that you turned and searched for some sort of humor in his eyes, maybe something that said he was lying. But when there wasn't anything you finally returned his smile with a weary one.

“Glad you enjoyed it” you took the compliment, though you still didn’t fully believe that he was being truthful. It was rare someone ever complimented you to start with, but you had yet to have someone do so without an ulterior motive.

“And y’know, that happens again tomorrow and I'll personally knock ‘em around for you, yeah?” his smile turned into a grin and you couldn't help the short laugh that left at his expression.

“If you feel so inclined. Though if anyone asks, I told you to leave the poor sods alone” you tried to make it clear that you definitely weren't supposed to be harming the clientele with how dramatic the last part of the sentence was. Luckily he seemed to get the point.

“Course. They've been gettin’ on my nerves anyway” you couldn't help but agree.

The two of you continue on with your conversation, getting to know a bit about each other's lives on the short walk. Despite his behavior at the bar, he was actually surprisingly personable one-on-one. He had a kind of natural charisma with a bit of faint genuine kindness. It was, frankly, one of the better conversations you had since you fell into hell. But all good things always come to an end. This time it was because you stopped your feet outside your residence.

“It was nice getting to actually meet you Angel” he stopped with you and you could have sworn you caught the faintest glimpse of his smile falling.

“It was nice meetin’ you too. You workin’ tomorrow?” His question surprises you a bit, but you answer anyway.

“When am I not working” you rolled your eyes, your exhaustion now easy to see. His look turned sympathetic.

“If that ain't the truth. See you tomorrow then?” He begins to walk away but stays turned to you for a response with his hand held in a finger gun motion. You can't help the bit of genuine smile that peeks through.

“As always” you answer before finally tucking into your apartment building.

You and Angel only got closer over the coming years. He would walk you home from your shows from time to time and you would entertain him with whatever story you had of the nights when he was too busy to show up. You too bonded over work and he even offered to be a dancer a few times just to rake in some more attention and get you enough to finally move up from that shit hole. But you always kindly refused, not looking for the increasing fame he carried with him.

Eventually you two even started hanging out in other places. Granted they were always other run-down shit holes given he didn't particularly want the paparazzi and fans that came from his job, but you two always seemed to make the most of it, keeping your friendship on the down low.

Until, one night, he stopped showing up.

You had become increasingly concerned after a month of him just up and disappearing. You were worried something had happened or maybe that his psychotic boss was pulling away even more of his already limited freedom. But then he showed up after one of your shows, face guilt-ridden when you went near frantic.

You were already yelling out question after question at him. Where has he gone? Was he okay? Did something happen? He had to calm you down before explaining that he had moved. You were so incredibly proud knowing that he was finally removing even just a part of himself from the work that had begun to be his entire life, though you were still a bit upset that he hadn't told you sooner.

But then he made you an offer you weren't expecting.

“You know, the hotel has an open doors rule and uh…well I was hopin’ you might…”

“Join you?” You finish the sentence for him. He turned to you with a look more nervous than you've ever seen from him.

“Look I know the place ain't exactly the best- the whole redemption thing’s a joke- but y'know I think you could get a job down there! Get away from all…all of this. Plus, y’know, I'd get to see you more often and-”

“Sounds like a plan” you stop his rambling with your answer and he turns to you with an almost bewildered look.

“Really? You sure?” He couldn't believe you would agree so quickly. You laughed at that.

“A chance to leave this shitty life behind and live with my best friend? Why would I say no? Especially if you like the place enough to recommend it” You lightheartedly shoved him and he almost gleamed with joy, his prior nervousness nothing but a thought now.

“Well shit. I thought I was gonna have ta try a lot harder than that. Had a whole pitch and everything!” he spoke with a laugh and you couldn't help but join in the joy.

You had to say the first few months at the hotel had been rough. For one, your boss didn't like the idea of you quitting very much. You were half the reason he made any money to begin with and he wasn't about to let you go so easily. So for a while you had been harassed and once nearly even killed before Alastor went and ‘dealt with this little problem of yours’. Though you suspected it was only because your boss had sent people to attack the hotel itself and less that he cared about you in any capacity.

You had managed to get a job at the hotel like Angel had said, though you felt more like a resident since there weren't ever enough people to warrant a show. But it had been more than once you were able to lift spirits with a performance, so you did still get paid. It was nice not having to work as much.

Though you would have to say, out of all the other strange people and events here, the bartender was the one that caught your eye the most. A right asshole he was, but there was still a charm he had. You two mostly only had some idle chit-chat, but Angel seemed to be getting pretty close to him, especially after he had one of his rougher nights that you hadn't been around for. Which meant you talked to the cat demon more. Never really one on one, but still you grew to see why your friend seemed so comfortable around him. He was easy to talk to. You mostly saw him as a friend of a friend though. Maybe even a good acquaintance if you wanted to push it.

But then there was that night…

Two in the morning and you still couldn't get a single wink of sleep. Tossing and turning and general frustration simply wouldn't allow you.

You couldn't get it out of your head. It had been so long since the memories had been allowed to invade your mind like they did tonight. Your skin crawled as if it wanted to escape you and if you could you would let it. You felt utterly trapped as it clung to you. Like the only escape from it was to dissolve into nothing.

You knew why the memories had come back swinging, all too aware that it was such a stupid thing to have opened that old wound. All Charlie had done was pull you to the new activity she was so excited to share. But her hands dragged you and made it impossible to pull away and when you made it to that room all the eyes fell on you. It was horrifyingly familiar in a way that it shouldn't have been. You had wanted to disappear right then.

Yet you didn't speak up and instead let her do as she pleased, knowing that it was such a mundane thing that you shouldn't have let upset you like it did. You felt childish at having let the event ruin your night, at letting the entire situation dig itself into old scars. But still, you just couldn't stop the dread it built within you. You couldn't stop that clawing feeling of trying to escape your own body. Of escaping the phantom feeling of drag and pull and the expecting eyes that felt almost as if they'd burn you alive.

It didn't take long before the feeling began to sting your eyes with tears. It was at that point you knew there would be no sleeping tonight. So you finally gave up trying, sitting up in your bed as you wiped away the tears that hadn't been given the chance to fall. You quickly composed yourself, as you were just so great at doing by this point, and tossed on a warm robe before leaving your room. You glance at Angel's door when you do.

You contemplate for a brief moment if you should wake him, though you quickly decide against it. He was tired enough as it was with the shit he had to deal with on the daily, he didn't need you keeping him up on top of that. So you turned down the hall, making sure to remain quiet so as not to disturb anyone.

You needed a distraction, something to get your mind off everything. To numb that horrible feeling. You find that nothing calls your name quite like the sound of a drink and so you navigate the many halls until you find yourself at the hotel bar.

As you suspected, the place was barren and silent. You have no problem getting behind the bar and making your own drink as it most certainly wasn't your first time. You note that you should probably try to keep the place tidy while you're at it, but decide that you'll do so after you enjoy the sweet relief at the bottom of a glass.

And, for a few short moments, you do. The warm, burning feeling spreads through your chest and purges the shivers right on out of you. But it doesn't last after the drink is finished and the silence truly sets in. So you pour yourself another, trying to chase any semblance of peace.

“Can't sleep?” A voice asks from behind you, nearly scaring you off of the barstool as you whip around to see who it was. You're surprised to see Husk of all people, even more surprised to see something that might resemble concern show on him. But you soon calm, giving a nod to him before turning back around.

“Nope…you too?” You ask, catching him rounding his way to the other side of the bar as you do.

“I prefer nights. A lot more peaceful, especially in this place” you acknowledge his comment with a hum before turning back to nursing your drink.

There is a silence between the two of you for a good few minutes. He cleans around for a while and you try to let your emotions leave you with every sip. It isn't long before you poor a third and you try to ignore the fact that this isn't helping.

It's when you go to pour your fourth drink that he stops what he's doing. You try to ignore him and whatever he's deciding to do with his time, but it becomes harder when he leans on the bar in front of you.

“That’s not gonna help you” He states plainly, your eyes turning to glance at him. There's a brief moment where you attempt to pull your facade back up. Where you try to tug your lips into a smile and choke out any words that would deter his potential questions. But it is exhausting and you are already beyond tired. So instead you hang your head.

“I know…was just hoping I'd be wrong” your words are quiet and mumbled, a far cry from your usually quite loud and charismatic self. It makes your insides twist to have let yourself be seen like this.

“Do you wanna talk about why you're up so late?” His question makes you swallow thickly, hands gripping tighter on the glass in your hand. Another few moments of silence pass that seem almost like an eternity under his stare. It takes a while for you to find any words in this state.

“It’s not worth your time” you manage the sentence, eyes fixated on the honey color of your chosen liquor. You hear him sigh, taking a step back as he pours his own drink.

“I'm the one who's askin’. If I waste my time that's my own damn fault” you don't like how hard it is for you to find the meaning in his tone. You can't tell if he's being dismissive or trying to comfort you. So you settled on answering with silence once more. You hear him sigh before he rounds the bar again.

“Look, tell me or don't tell me, but I at least want to hear you say something” this time you do hear an attempt to be genuine. He takes a seat beside you and you finally turn to look at him again. His eyes expect nothing, a rare sight for you. It's…comforting. You aren't sure if it was you or the alcohol talking, but you could have even been able to delude yourself into thinking that he cared. You look away again when you feel that false comfort begins to wrap you. You find your tongue beginning to slip.

“I…” you start and suddenly it's like your insides churn. You put nearly everything into stopping the pull of tears.

“It's just a bad night for me, is all. I…I’m not really used to this” you finally let the words fall and you can't bring yourself to look at him. You don't want to know how he's reacting to your words. You don't want to see just how little he actually cares.

“Used to what, exactly?” he pries further, asking for more. The flood gates were already open and there was no use in trying to shut them now.

“The way everyone is just so comfortable with each other- the way that I almost feel comfortable. It was easy with Angel; both of us in the same shit situation with no one else to lean on but each other. But nobody needs something from me here, nobody's trying to take anything- they don't want anything! And it- I just-...” your hands shake, your breath becoming unsteady. It's been so long since you felt this pathetic.

“I don't think I'm supposed to be here” you admit as your voice wavers. You try to steady your breath and calm yourself. It wasn't safe to be this vulnerable, it was stupid.

“I get it” his words stop your thoughts immediately. You're left reeling from the whiplash and expecting that he must have grown a second head that speaks only lies. But it's just him as he stares down at his now half-empty drink, no second head in sight. There's a look of contemplation on his face that you can see even as he keeps his eyes on the glass. A moment later he speaks again.

“When you've spent so long getting used to people treating you like shit it can be hard to accept when someone doesn't. Makes it feel like they're lyin’, like they're just waitin’ for the moment to hurt you the worst” his words quickly hit a deep part of you, knocking at known insecurities you had long since buried as deep as you could.

“Makes you paranoid too, always checking your back for snakes. Gets harder to believe anyone; harder to care about anyone a lot of the time. And so you stop caring, and suddenly it stops hurting as much” his continued words only dug deeper, tugging away at your walls like they were wet paper. When his eyes finally meet yours again you are surprised to see them soften. There isn't pity in them, nor a look that makes you feel as childish as you felt before talking to him. Instead, you are met with a knowing stare, one that says he understands this feeling all too well.

“But the thing is that doesn't mean you feel any better. Makes the suffering pointless if you don't try to let the good in too. You gotta make it mean something” he doesn't look away from you as he says those words and you can't bring yourself to turn away either. You don't want to. Because he's saying everything you needed to hear and you can't find any reason not to trust that he doesn't know exactly how this feels. That he isn't speaking directly from the heart. Your dread turns to a sinking sort of comfort. The kind only broken people could give when they reach out and pull each other from the dark. It's the most seen you've ever felt.

You feel the tears finally well in your eyes but you can't help but smile at him, a sad laugh escaping you.

“Of all the people I expected to give me a pep talk I gotta say, you weren't even on the list” you finally speak again and there is no hiding that he's hit something deep within you.

“Of all the fucked up people here, I didn't expect you would need anyone to talk to” He offers the same smile as he hand you a napkin. You take it without complaint and quickly calm your tears with deep breaths, wiping away the strays that fell. There's a short moment of silence, but it doesn't feel as suffocating anymore. In fact you almost feel a strange comfort in it now that it doesn't feel so empty. Still, you knew you should probably say something.

“You know, uh…” you break the silence as you once again turn to your drink, this time far less focused on ignoring him as much as you were trying to compose yourself enough to speak. At the very least you're able to steady your voice.

“Angel and I were going to head out tomorrow. I don't think he'd mind if you came…if you're free, of course” you invited him but didn't catch the way his smile widened at the request.

“I can't guarantee anything, but I’m not declining” his maybe is better than a no, so you don't particularly mind his answer. In fact you can feel your own smile soften at it.

Since then the three of you have been near inseparable. At any given part of the day at least two of you are off doing something with each other. It's nice, you think, to have people this close to you, to have a reason to care again. The three of you look out for each other and It's the closest you've ever gotten to stability in your life. At this point, you don't think you'd trade it for anything.

Which is why when you start to develop feelings for Husk, you are utterly horrified.

You know him and Angel have…something going on. You know they're not together as you know you would have been the first to know, but you've also never seen Angel smile the way he does when he's around the winged demon. You would say the same for Husk, but you've caught him sending the same soft smile to you once or twice and you honestly can't tell if it's your lovestruck daze or if those smiles are what you think they are.

Your emotions are a spiraling mess within you. You care so much for both of them. You'd live through a thousand hells if it meant you'd have them around. The absolute last thing you want is to fuck this up.

So you choose to say nothing. You bottle your feelings and throw them in the garbage. As far as you were concerned being in their afterlives at all was good enough. You wouldn't risk it.

However, it became hard during nights like these. When you all were giddy off alcohol, conversation flowing through wide smiles and every touch as gentle as it could ever be. It was the definition of home, a place where you were the most comfortable you could possibly be. Your tongue loose and your actions anything but hidden. Your care poured from you openly and only so much could be blamed on the alcohol.

“I fucking love you guys” the words fell shamelessly from you. Granted you were pretty fucked up by this point as you tried to keep up with them, but it wasn't more than you could reasonably handle without blacking out. They both turned to you, inebriated smiles sending themselves your way.

“Love you too, sweetheart” Angel returned, one of his hands patting your head, a wider smile spreading on your face as he did. You leaned against the bar, your head propped up by one of your hands as you turned to Husk. You just barely notice the way he leaned ever so slightly closer. But he says nothing and you can't help but feel like you deserve at least an acknowledgement of your words from him.

“I'd be happy to show you if you don't believe me” the words slipped and once more you didn't notice what you were saying. You do, however, catch his eyes widen, pupils dilating a bit. When he continues to say nothing you roll your eyes and pull back just slightly. You don't catch the way he almost follows you before he pulls himself back, nor the stare Angel is giving from beside you.

“One of these days I'll get you to say it back” you speak before downing yet another shot. You miss the quick glance they give to each other.

“It’s getting late. We should probably head to bed” Angel suggests as he stands.

“Really?” You whine mostly to yourself.

“You two go ahead. I have to clean up anyway” Husk gives his excuse and you groan but ultimately agree to the end of your night. You take one of Angel's hands as the both of you begin your stumble down the halls. The two of you are a giggling mess against each other, nearly falling about twenty separate times, but you do eventually make it to your room. You quickly notice that he hesitates on his goodbyes though.

“Hey uh, can we…talk?” He asks and, though you are a bit surprised it doesn't show.

“Of course!” You agree, opening your door and allowing him inside your room. You make it to your bed where you both quickly sit, unable to stand unsupported for long.

“What's up?” You ask, bleary eyes turning to him. You have to admit you're a little worried, but you hope that whatever he wants to talk about isn't too serious.

“You and Husk are gettin’ pretty close” his words don't strike you at first, so you give him a smile.

“Yeah. Same for you” you comment and watch a wave of confusion hit him.

“What?” He seems to almost not Believe the words that have left you and it takes you a moment to realize why.

“Oh come on Angel, don't tell me you haven't noticed how he looks at you! With that little smile of his- and don't you think I've missed you staring either! You two are absolutely thirsty for each other” Your voice is louder than you notice. When he quickly tries to quiet you down you fall back onto your bed with a laugh, trying to escape his hands. He continues to reach out anyway and so you pull him down with you, eventually sending the both of you into another giggle fit.

“Could say the same for you” Angel speaks through his laugh, though there is a hesitance to it. You can't hide the way the implication catches you.

“You think so?” You ask cautiously, almost worried as you turn to look at him, his body beside yours.

“Yeah…Yeah I do” he replies just as slowly, the air in the room becoming tense in the sudden silence. It was a longer silence than you would have liked, both of you turning your eyes to the ceiling in contemplation of the words you both had spoken.

After a moment Angel sits up a bit, just enough to lean his head against his hand and look down at you.

“I love him. Like a whole fuckin’ lot and…I love you too. You’re the best friend I could’a eva asked for in this shithole” he admits and you can't tear your eyes from him. He, however, can't bear to look at you.

“And I was hopin', maybe, if you'd like ta…well if you'd wanna share him with me. If he even does feel that way about us” the words leave his lips ever so carefully and you can't help the wide smile that breaks across your face, all your previous worry disappearing. You reach a gentle hand out, his eyes finally turning back to yours when it lands on his face.

“I'd love that” you let the words leave and watch as he lights up, smile soft and worry dissipating by the second. Then suddenly an idea pops into your head, a mischievous smile crawling to your lips.

“Oh no, I know that look. What are you plannin’?” He asks, amusement overtaking any attempts to look worried. You quickly sat up, pulling him along with you.

“Well Mr. Grouchy Pants likes to walk by my door whenever he needs extra cleaning rags and personally I think he should be going to bed” you explain as you stand on still shaky legs. Angel doesn't seem to catch on for a moment before suddenly realizing what you mean.

“You ain't gonna do that” Angel says oh so confidently. He must have failed to account for how much bolder you are when drunk, because you most definitely plan to. In fact you hear stumbling feet making their way right about now. So you open the door, catching the attention of a certain winged cat almost immediately.

“Still working?” you ask. He has to blink a few times to catch up with the situation and you know then that drank a bit more after you guys left.

“Yeah” he answers simply. A moment later Angel is behind you, peaking out as well. He leans two arms against you for balance and Husk gives both of you a look.

“You ain't makin’ it down the hall like that. You look like you're about ta pass out” Angel points out and Husk turns back to him, almost offended.

“I'm not that drunk, sweetheart” the nickname catches you off guard and Husk seems just as surprised at what just came out of his own mouth.

“Oh? We’re doing pet names now kitty?” you tease a little and he looks utterly floored by the nickname. It sends a grin across Angel's face.

“Yeah kitten, since when did that happen?” Angel's voice is even more teasing than yours and Husk seems completely out of his depth. Every word he tries to speak dies before it leaves his lips. Eventually, he tips his hat down and tries to leave.

“I gotta go to bed-” before he gets too far you manage to snag one of his suspender straps, gently pulling him back a bit. He follows, knowing he would probably fall if he didn't.

“You should stay with us for the night” you offer and watch as his eyes shoot wider than you've ever seen them. He goes to speak but you cut him off before he can say a word.

“Mind out of the gutter. We’re just going to sleep’” you clarify and hear Angel whine a bit. You quickly nudge him and he stops, accepting that there would be nothing else tonight. But, while Husk's face seems a little less horrified, he still hesitates.

“Please?” You ask in as sweet a tone as you can manage. You watch as he uses the last of his resolve to attempt to answer no, but when Angel leans down near you and offers the same pleading look, he simply can't.

“Fine” he mumbles out with his arms crossed. Without a word you tug him inside, the door shutting as the three of you stumble your way back. Each one of you managed to bump or knock the others at least once as you all did your best to make it into bed.

At some point you and Angel are on the bed and Husk is still hesitating to follow. He's only allowed a moment before Angel reaches out and pulls him, his body landing heavily on the two of you with the strings of curses that follow. You all struggled to find your spots, moving and squirming to get comfortable. Your blankets are tossed and tugged to cover the three of you until, finally, you all seem to all be covered. It's then that idle talk arrives, slurred attempts at conversation that distract long enough for you all to get comfortable.

It wasn't a surprise Husk ended up in the middle, the two of you shamelessly cuddling up to him on either side. He's a bit tense for a while, but when he does allow himself to calm down and relax he is a purring mess; a sound that is only intensified when you absentmindedly pet the fluff on his head. Eventually all of you become quiet, eyes heavy with a need for sleep and the most comfortable you all have ever been. It's during this, moments away from drifting off, that husk manages two words.

“Love you” he slurs out, but to who neither you are Angel are sure. So instead you take it as a sentiment meant for both of you. You lay a soft kiss against his head before snuggling closer and Angel does the same.

You could definitely get used to this.

#hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel angel dust x reader #angel dust x reader #angel dust #husker #husker x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel husker #hazbin hotel gender neutral reader #angel dusk & reader

336 notes · View notes

stitched-mouth-vs-the-world · 8 months

Text

Before Her Show

Pairing: Envy Adams x GN! Scott's Sibling! Reader.

Summary: Imagine being Scott's sibling and having a secret affair with Envy Adams.

Warnings: NSFW, Smut, Oral sex (fem receiving), backstage sex, Envy is kinda mean, cheating? (if you want to imagine Envy is with Todd).

Writing Time: 1 hour.

Word Count: 516.

Format: Kinktober Imagine, Day 4.

A/N:

Day 4 of Kinktober!I'm a lot more pleased with this than I thought I'd be. The prompt was such a bad one (that I made up) but I think I made it work really well. Please enjoy! Who's ready for the anime in November?

Here is the masterlist for all my Kinktober 2023 works.

---///---

Imagine sneaking around with the World's biggest singer. Envy Adams had it all, everyone would die for less than half of what you got from her.

Sadly the sneaking around wasn't just to avoid bad press on the lead singer of the biggest Indie rock back ever, but so you didn't ruin your relationship with your brother. Scott was an asshole, but sleeping with the girl who broke his heart was just too much.

But there was something exciting with risking it all, it made your small quiet moments with Envy just all that more hot and loving. You loved the soft cuddles with Envy just as much as you loved the hard crazy fucking you'd both do too.

The way she would grab you suddenly back stage and drag you into her dressing room right before a show or interview because,

"I need something from you to keep me going, love.."

Imagine Envy locking the door before skipping past you and sitting herself down on her vanity table with her legs spread wide. You would stare at her in shock until you looked back at you with a glare, "I don't have all day brat!"

Yep, that was Envy for you.

Imagine moving down to your knees and moving over to Envy and taking hold of her thighs before placing a small kitten lick over her clothed cunt.

Imagine Envy wearing a white tank top, leather jacket and a black miniskirt. Always with a white thong to make it easier for you to pull her underwear to the side and get to work. Which you did, making Envy throw her head back and fist one hand into your hair and the other hand kept her balance on the top.

Imagine Envy pulling your hair gently and moaning as you devoured her folds. Her slick coated your face and tasted so sweet, you almost couldn't stop yourself. Her moans and shivers would make you hot and move one of your hands low to toy with yourself through your clothes.

It wouldn't take too long for Envy to cum. When she would, she would push your head away from her and slowly calm herself from her climax. You looked up at her eagerly, hoping today would be one of those rare days she's getting you off after you helped her out.

But alast, it was never one of those rare days. Envy fixed her clothes and kissed your cheek as she left the room, "See ya later honey! I've got a show to do."

Envy was so cruel.

#stitched #stitched mouth #stitched talks #stitched’s kinktober #kinktober 2023 #kinktober #stitched writes #spvstw #scott pilgrim vs the world #scott pilgrim #envy adams #envy adams x reader #envy adams smut #natalie addams

166 notes · View notes

stripedwolf88 · 23 days

Text

The Eras Tour: Paris Night 1 (My Thoughts)

ALLLLLLLLRIGHT. So because @bettysgarden12 wanted to know my reactions and thoughts on everything that happened today, I thought I would share with the rest of yous. It's probably not going to be very in depth or analytical so fair warning on that hehe. Also this probably isn't in order of the show because my memory is trash haha.

1.First things first. The lover bodysuit. WHaT iN ThE FRiLly HeLl?!?!? I literally still don't know whether or not I dreamt of seeing that new bodysuit. Definitely, lesbian colors represented there and it was confirmed with the orange blazer she wore for The Man. It was not an accident I'm sure to have the inside be pink too.

(Side note: we all knew that The Archer was going to get cut. It actually makes a lot of sense too. I think we are past Taylor asking us to stay, not that she doesn't still hope us too. It's more like she is fine with blowing everything up now instead of focusing on the worry of messing everything up. At least I hope that is the case. We're here for ya Taylor. You got this.)

2. Second, the Fearless dress. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I also saw that it looks really reminiscent of the original dress she wore for her Fearless tour. It's almost like she is going back to what once was.

3. Third, transitioning right into Red was something. The new Red shirt says "This is not Taylor's Version" when Red is in fact Taylor's again. Some of my moots pointed out that it could be referencing the whole Real Taylor vs Taylor The Brand theory that we as a community have been developing for quite some time. With this thinking, it would mean that the Taylor we are seeing is not someone Taylor claims as her own or something like that. It's not truly her which we all knew already.

4. Fourth, we saw a new intro for Speak Now (now officially just Enchanted since Long Live has been axed.) I don't have much to say on that other than I wasn't surprised that Long Live got cut. This cut also makes sense if we are thinking that Taylor is gonna burn it down. No more reminding about the good times or the "needing" fans to stand by her forever.

5. Fifth, combining folklore and evermore was unexpected but also not? Idk it made sense and to me it just seems like it was easier to combine them since room had to be made for TTPD.

6. Sixth, Rep was Rep. Nothing really changed from what I could tell or remember other than THE FREAKING GLASS CASES SHATTERING!!! YOU BREAK THAT GLASS CLOSET TAYLOR! WHOOP WHOOP!

7. Seventh, 1989 outfit was...something. It's just not my cup of tea visually. I DID NOT notice the lion or tiger(???) charm she had on until someone else pointed it out. Very interesting either way.

8. Eighth, putting TTPD before Midnights was an interesting choice. The whole theory that we still have to meet her at Midnight (credit to my moots for pointing this out again) is supported by this I think.

9. Ninth, the dress for TTPD is amazing!! And so are the other two outfits. The marching band uniform and it's possible reference back to ME! music video? It has me in shambles.

10. Tenth, the performance for Who Afraid of Little Old Me was visually amazing and she sang it beautifully (no surprise there) with such emotion that it was impossible for me to look away. Her levitating across the stage was also freaking awesome!

11. Next the empty cages imagery?? The nurses pulling her away from her lover??? The image of her crouching in the middle of this weird ass place??? That one really kind of freaked me out. It was eerie and heartbreaking in a way I'm not quite able to explain at this moment.

12. I was conflicted about I Can Do It With A Broken Heart both before, during, and after the performance. I had a feeling she was going to perform it and I kind of wanted her to just to hear her sing it live but then not because I knew how the fans were going to react. I really did face-palm when everyone yelled "More!" on the livestream but we all knew they were going to. The transition into ICDIWABH made me want to throw something at the TV but I also did snort on the petulance on Taylor's face for the little act. I really liked the old Hollywood theme for the visuals and the dance. It was pleasing to watch. BY THE WAY....HAVING THE OUTFIT FOR ICDIWABH ECHO HER OUTFITS ON REP IS REALLY SOMETHING. She bamboozled me again.

13. Midniiiiiiights. THE BODYSUIT IS MY FAVORITE ONE OUT OF THE ONES WE HAVE SEEN SO FAR. I'm glad that Mastermind was kept. I didn't think that she would have taken away anything from the Midnights era but if there was I had this weird concern that it would be Mastermind. Thank god my anxiety was unnecessary.

14. The surprise soooooongs~ Paris is a favorite of mine so I'm happy she played it but also of course she did. That was another predictable thing that happened. Her performance of loml was again heartfelt. She seems really happy to sing these new songs and it shows.

15. I am pretty freaking sure that the Bejeweled lights were a LOT more colorful and rainbowy than usual. Was that just me? Please tell me it wasn't just me!

Overall, it is safe to say that I was not prepared for the absolute chaos that today brought.

Taylor, it seems like you're really doing this (I reeeeeally hope that is the case) and I'm so happy for you if that is what is happening. You do you and you show us what's up. I'm looking forward to it. <3

#kaylor #gaylor #gaylor swift #ttpd #the tortured poets department #the eras tour #paris n1

45 notes · View notes

idontlikeem · 3 months

Text

i'd like to talk about grieving, a little bit. as in the past, discussions of death and cancer below the cut, don't read if this will hurt you, etc....i'm having a bad day and i just need to stream of consciousness for a little bit. sorry.

so my mom died. if you've read my personal posts before or whatever, you probably figured that out. it happened on thursday february 15th around noon. luckily we had a bit of notice that it was coming, so i was able to drive down the saturday prior and spend time with her—three full days where she was pretty much still herself, and part of a fourth.

it's been a really hard month. like, obviously. but i think a part of me still wasn't quite ready for it. i don't know how.

my mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer in fall 2011. she had a mastectomy and went through chemo, and that was hard and scary, but it was i think technically considered stage one—a tumor that was definitely growing fast, but it hadn't spread out of the area, like not to her lymph nodes or anything, and with the treatment she went almost ten years totally symptom-free. right at the start of the pandemic, the cancer came back, but this time it was already stage four, and it was in her abdomen and uterus and intestines.

there was a time when we weren't sure she'd live more than a year. endometrial and other reproductive cancers aren't 'sexy' like breast cancer is, they're not widely studied and there aren't a lot of treatment options. when she had breast cancer i hated 'save the boobies' campaigns (and please never donate to susan komen), but now that my family has lived with another type of cancer that doesn't have tits as a draw, i hate them even more.

my mom made it four years, pretty much, since the first diagnosis. she did chemo, and radiation, and went on medication trials, and put her body through hell to try and fight it. she lived longer than i think any of us thought she would.

the problem with that is how long i've been existing in a state of grief.

i've had years to prepare for this. i've thought about it literally thousands of times—how i'd feel, how i'd tell people, what i'd do after. i pictured it, because i was trying to plan. i was trying to get myself ready.

turns out pre-grieving isn't real. turns out you can't get this pain out of the way by experiencing it in advance. much to my chagrin. i'm not sure there was a way to avoid it, though. so here i am, with four years of grief behind me, and not one second of it has made what's going on now any easier.

some days i forget. every time i'm on twitter or instagram, there are posts i want to send her, and then i don't know what to do with myself. for all that my relationship with her had its hard times, she was my mom, she was my best friend. i love her more than anything and i don't know what to do with myself now that she's gone.

i've been sort of just surviving for the last four weeks. my apartment is a mess, i'm barely leaving, i haven't been good at responding to people. so today i thought i'd at least clean up a little. i'd gone to target a day or two before i drove down to my parents', and i figured i would start with those bags, because they were just sitting there.

i'd forgotten that i bought valentine's day cards for my whole family that i wanted to send. one for each of my brothers, one for my dad, one for my mom. i never sent them, obviously, i didn't even bring them with me. i burst into tears when i pulled them out of the bag, and i've been crying pretty much all day since then. i'm never going to pick out a card for my mom ever again.

i also have a notes app file sitting on my phone. she wrote each of us letters, and my dad sent them out to us, but i haven't been able to open mine yet. it's the last new thing she'll ever say to me. how could i possibly be ready for that? how do i know when the right time to read that will be?

one thing my mom wanted was to die at home. she didn't want it to be in a hospital, and i get it. she spent a month in the hospital after christmas, and god knows how much time cumulatively over the last four years. the fact that she was able to push to get home is something i don't understand, because she was so sick—but she did it somehow. she was able to die in her bed.

and i was with her. like. i wasn't just at home, i was with her.

something they don't tell you about having someone die is you have to start arranging stuff before it actually happens. when we woke up on the 15th, we knew it was only a matter of time—her eyes weren't all the way open and her breath was labored, and she couldn't talk, although at first she still tried to say stuff. we sat there with her and kept her company and talked to her. hospice came by around 11 or 11:30, i don't even remember, and said that based on whatever measurements or readings they take (pupils? breathing? i don't know), it would be between 4-8 hours, and he recommended that my dad call the funeral home. because you have to do that first.

so my youngest brother was driving down from where he lives, my middle brother was in his room, my dad was in his room on the phone, and i stayed with her, because....well, of course, right? and i was just kind of talking, and crying, but trying not to...i don't know, beg her to stay? ask for more time? the nurse said she could still hear, they're pretty sure that hearing and understanding what's being said is the last thing to go, and i didn't want her to feel bad or guilty, or to hurt herself in an effort to stay longer even though there's nothing more that i've ever wanted in my life.

so i told her, you know, we'll be okay. it's going to be unbearably sad, and it's going to suck, but all the stuff we did as a family with her—we'll still do it. and we'll be okay. and there's nothing more important to us than her not hurting anymore, not being miserable and stuck and just...not herself. all that matters to us right now is her, and she didn't have to worry about us, because we'd be okay.

and she took in a breath. there was a pause. she took in another one. and she stopped. that was it.

i didn't even realize at first, not right the second it happened. the hospice booklet had talked about a 'death rattle', about how it happens almost all the time, but that it's more distressing for the people with the person dying than them, that they're not in pain. how the fuck would they know that, i'm not sure i believe it, but...it's what i was expecting. that didn't happen, though. she just stopped breathing.

the amount of guilt i felt for my dad being out of the room...i don't know if that will ever leave me. he said it was ok, because he was having to deal with stuff, and he'd spent a lot of time with her and it was fine, but jesus. how do i not feel like i stole that from him?

i've felt like a shell ever since. i'm back where i live, and i'm getting up and going to work and taking care of my dog and trying to stay connected to life, but...i don't know.

how is it that she's gone? how is this possible? how am i supposed to go the rest of my life without her?

i had four years to get ready for this, and i wasn't. i don't think there's any way i really could have been, but still. it doesn't seem fair that it was so hard for so long, and for NOTHING. nothing is easier now.

i'm sick of feeling sad, and hurt. i feel like i should be over it or something? i don't know, maybe just less actively affected? it's been a month. people's parents die all the time, right?

what am i supposed to do?

#personal

35 notes · View notes

howtofightwrite · 1 year

Note

Do you have any cites for your statement in the "war crimes" post, about the IRA being an unusual case where the more moderate faction was able to dominate and cut out the more ruthless factions? Not doubting you, I'd just like to know more about it and how this happened to buck the trend.

Not without digging much deeper into the IRA than than I have in the past.

It's worth noting that during The Troubles (the conflict in Northern Ireland), even the moderate paramilitary elements on both sides were pretty brutal. That said, I think this might be as simple as the IRA was able to negotiate a resolution to the conflict.

Ireland regained its independence from the UK in 1922, however six of the nation's thirty-two counties chose to remain in the UK at that time. The status quo deteriorated in the late-'60s, with sectarian violence following. Again, there's more to unpack here than I can do justice to in a quick overview. For one thing, the IRA did have continuity from the IRA of the Irish War of Independence (1919-21.)

This leads to some interesting anomalies regarding the IRA. For one thing, they had a relatively achievable goal. They wanted the return of self-rule to those six counties in Northern Ireland. This wasn't a situation where they were trying to overthrow their entire country, most of the time. (At various points in time the IRA did have a goal of overthrowing the Irish government as well, and unifying all 32 counties under a single rule. But, there was a lot less movement in that direction.)

Another factor that's almost unique, was the negotiated resolution. You basically never see that in situations like this because the insurgent elements almost always have a goal of eliminating the existing government. However, the IRA wasn't trying to overthrow the UK (even if they did launch a mortar attack on 10 Downing St. in 1991.)

Ironically, an extremist branch of the IRA (referred to as the “Real IRA”) staged a particularly bloody bombing while the Good Friday/Belfast Accords were being negotiated in 1998. This is something I warned about derailing negotiations like this, however, in this case the Real IRA apologized for the bombing, claiming that it was not intended to kill civilians. (When the Real IRA sent their bomb threats, there was a miscommunication about where it had been placed, and caused the police to evacuate civilians towards the bomb.) The Real IRA proceeded join the ceasefire that they'd previously ignored.

This highlights a weird anomaly, in this specific case even the extremists had a “unity of purpose,” and I can't say exactly why.

So, in a lot of cases where you're dealing with rebel groups, they have a unified goal of overthrowing their oppressors and ruling their nation. However, it is much easier to say you want to rule a nation than it is to actually organize a government to do so. Especially when there are ideological differences within your organization. In the the case of the IRA, there was a legitimate government already in place with the capacity to take over those counties. And even the negotiated result saw the return of existing political parties.

So, without spending a lot of time digging deeper into this, and looking at all of the IRA's schism groups and what became of them, the short citation would be that the Good Friday/Belfast Accord happened. That Northern Ireland exists today in a state of, relative, peace. That's not how these stories tend to end.

-Starke

This blog is supported through Patreon. Patrons get access to new posts three days early, and direct access to us through Discord. If you’d like to support us, please consider becoming a Patron.

#HowtoFightWrite #Writing advice #Writing Reference #Writing tips #Starke answers #Starke is not an expert on the IRA

72 notes · View notes

intimidating-fettuccine · 1 year

Note

Candy pop dealing with the 5 stages of mourning please

Like I've done a few times, I combined all the five stages into one as I'm still not fully mentally at my best.

Candy, fortunately or unfortunately, already has experience when it comes to losing those he cares deeply for, considering he lost his whole family in his past, at that time to his own hands. Losing you, however, isn't all that much easier on him. You were his future, someone he was ready to spend the rest of his life with, and yet you were ripped away from him all the same. He doesn't spend much time at all in the denial stage of that, but realizing you're gone was one of the hardest things he's ever had to do.

He doesn't really go through an anger stage. As he's had to cope with death before, he doesn't see the point in burning bridges with himself or others when it won't change anything that's already happened. Bargaining, however, comes much easier to him. He's all alone again he feels, and because of this he quickly tries to strike up bonds with others. The loneliness was the hardest part of losing his family, and so this time around he's quick to seek support from others. He spends a lot of time with the other residents, trying to stay close to them, trying to bond with them, to get support, and they do support him quite easily. They talk with him, try and laugh with him, try and comfort him. They make sure he knows he isn't alone and that they aren't going anywhere, and he appreciates it.

Depression hits him like a train. Candy is usually so full of glee, always smiling, always laughing, but for the first good long while after you pass there's not a smile or laugh to be had from him. Tears are often shed, and he finds himself a lot quieter than he's been in a hard, long while, but he does his best to move through it for your sake. He spends a lot of time talking to Slender, going through therapy to process his emotions, unlike the first time he experienced true loss, and it helped him quite a bit. It wasn't easy, not in the slightest bit, but Candy is willing to do anything for your sake, and right now that means working toward a brighter future that he can more easily remember and cherish you in. Acceptance begins to come to him, slowly but surely, and he takes it in stride. His blank faces slowly work up to small smiles, and then quiet laughter, and then bubbly, excited faces as his days grow warmer. He always misses you, that's a given, but he eagerly works toward a brighter, happier future. One where he can be happy and not feel guilty about it, one where he knows you'd be proud of him, where you'd be happy for him, and that's really all that matters to Candy. In then end, you're all that matters to him, and he'll do his best to live a life you would enjoy, no matter what.

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta headcanons #candy pop #candy pop headcanon #candy pop headcanons #candy pop x reader

59 notes · View notes

spongeknife · 4 months

Text

An Idea That Would've Helped Me Process My System Better (also hello i haven't posted in a while)

TL;DR IF YOU CANT READ THROUGH If your system is in recovery and feels as though everyone's just becoming defensive/closed off, it may be (partially) because of phrasing when discussing different alters, as an alter may not feel truly supported or connected to the challenges you guy's face. This is about recovery and specifically about when trying to process a system through a third party (in my examples I use medical professionals - MP, but this could include anyone) When I was first open to getting support for my system, I remember being told in many different ways that "an(y) alter HAD a purpose, but don't necessarily have that same purpose now - so let's try to help them change their behaviors" WHICH is a lot easier said than done, right? But, I also didn't have the experience to fully understand what that means or how to support any alters into participating so a lot of helpful advice wasn't usable. SO, I felt frustrated and mostly like I was stuck banging my head against a wall to get the system to a better place. AND the entire system was feeling generally tense because everybody felt vindicated by each other. Alter(s) with an "older purpose" felt they were underappreciated, especially, and were looping back to not wanting to seek support. I started to see the bigger problem (and picture) when I was able to understand why some of the alters felt they were not being taken seriously. And that the wording MPs were using weren't very empathetic. Most of the time, when referencing these alters, words like "useful and not useful", "purposeful and not purposeful", and "help and unhelpful" were used. Along with this, sessions about those alters talked about how they needed to change now, or how they didn't have a "function" now (or their function wasn't good/beneficial). When the system started to change phrasing, and started to change wording to be more understanding of experiences/characteristics we couldn't understand, the alters were more willing to work and communicate as a cohesive unit. If you're a system who's trying to recover but can't seem to get past a communication stage, I would try becoming less goal-oriented and more process-oriented. We have done this by: -creating reaction trees to help think out harmful actions [goal/motive -> actions to achieve motive -> intended consequences AND unintended consequences -> was original goal achieved? -> ideas for different actions to have the same goal that could be used instead] is an example we use -doing venn diagrams of how someone feels about the alter/action vs how the alter feels/thinks about the action (with a similarity bubble to see what things are in common) -taking ANY (genuine/reasonable) feedback from the alter being discussed, even if it's just a paper with angry scribbles (feedback shows an awareness of communication, and can be worked on to become clearer later - it shows a first step) I'm not quite sure if this will help anyone, but when I think back to the start of my recovery I remember being told what NOT to do, but not really being told what better examples could look like. In any case, of course advice or anything will vary from system to system, and what worked for me may not work for you. This is just a generalized idea if you're not sure where to start and don't think this will do any harm to try (if you're unsafe or not ready, please follow your best judgement on what to do). I also mostly say this because I was seeing this kind of thing on a lot of system recovery pages (Not just on tumblr, but on other websites as well), and I think for some people it's not really important (phrasing may not be a big deal), but I feel for some systems this may help/make more sense. (also please know my intent is well even if I worded things a little weird or rambled a bit, I don't really want discourse or anything about this, i just am not very good at communicating my thoughts)

#did #alters #dissociative disorder #dissociative system #did system #actually did #actually osdd #recovery #system tips #system stuff #system recovery #trauma work #i hope this makes sense #if you read through until the end you deserve a gold star #also this is pretty hyperspecific so sorry to nonsystem mutuals who follow me lol #tbf if you want to support someone you could probably still use this

13 notes · View notes

ambrossart · 5 months

Note

One of my favorite songs of all time is I Bet on Losing Dogs by Mitski, which I requested a long time ago for Paper Men’s playlist because it reminds me so much of Evelyn and Henry (thank you for adding btw!). But I’ve been listening to it again and Paper Men has been on my mind constantly and I just wanted to share why it reminded me of them. The song, in my interpretation, is a metaphor for placing hopes and expectations in relationships that are doomed to fail or with people too damaged to love one back the way they want/need. The way I’ve come to see it, Evelyn (like Mitski) seems to know that it will inevitably end badly, but consciously pursues it anyways. She wants them to let her keep believing they’re going to work out or they’ll love her back one day. It’s sad and beautiful and relatable. I feel like this could also apply to Evelyn and Victor (who I hope are endgame despite my Patrick obsession). Again, this is simply my interpretation and I’ve been reading Paper Men while this song plays on a loop lol. Thank you for creating such a beautiful story, I’m excited for chapter 31!

Omg I've been listening to that song while writing this chapter, particularly the Evelyn-Henry scenes (I'm reworking a few of Henry's scenes to better set up what I have planned for Mr. Hockstetter).

I absolutely love this song and I completely agree with your interpretation and how it applies to Evelyn and Henry's relationship. She's so emotionally invested in him and his struggle. She's willing to stand by his side through everything, even the ugliest things. She lets him dump all of his emotional baggage on her. She lets him use her as his punching bag whenever he's angry (and, of course, I mean this figuratively, not literally; Henry wasn't physically abusing her). She puts herself through so much for him because she loves him and wants better for him and hopes with all her heart that one day things will get better. And I think this is the first time she's seeing how hopeless this all is and how much she's hurting herself by staying in this relationship.

Even with everything that's happened, she still doesn't want to let him go. In fact, she's probably searching for any reason not to.

It's a lot different than her relationship with Victor (even though I agree the song could apply to him as well). She had an easier time separating from him romantically because Vic never let her get that close to him. He would be kind to her occasionally, but he was always very good at keeping his distance. Because of that, Evelyn's feelings never evolved past the puppy love/childhood crush stage. She still cares about him as a friend, but... Vic made her wait too long.

#answered asks #thanks for the ask!#bowers gang #henry bowers #victor criss #it stephen king #it movie #it 2017 #it fanfiction #paper men #ambrossart

8 notes · View notes

fallingforel · 6 months

Text

arabella pt 13.- Tolerate it.

SERIES MASTERLIST BLOG MASTERLIST

"Matty is our main focus right now. Not the band. Not hann and I. Not Alex and I. so don’t you even dare George. The band doesn’t matter right now”

⋆｡°✩

6 weeks later.

Okay. So maybe I was wrong when I said that I'd be okay as soon as Matty went to rehab. But I wasn't I didn't know how to live without him. He was the glue that held our friendship group together. Now that he's gone we've all fallen out. I'm on the outs with both George and Adam. I'm close to being on the outs with Ross too, having snapped at him one too many times this past 4 weeks. He's been strong, he knows that I am worried about Matty. We all are, he just hides it better.

Matty... I haven't spoken to him since he left for barbados. He said that It would be hard to keep contact. It will just make him want to come home. He didn't want that. He wanted to get better. For everyone's sake. They left the album behind for him to record his vocals when he got back. When that would be nobody knew.

Apart from Deliah. she had been his point of contact, having not known her for that long it made it easier to keep in touch with him, without actually being in touch. She wouldn't tell us when he was coming back. Because in all honest Matty didn't know either. He had his bad days and good. Rehabilitation wasn't a one way street it had a lot of twists and turns but it would get you to the final destination eventually. Sobriety. That was what we all wanted for Matty so we decided to respect his decisions.

As for Alex. He came down after finishing his mexican leg. I didn't stay very long in Wilmslow. Just until Matty left. Alex came down to visit in that time though. Met my parents, safe to say he was a hit. Though my dad gave him the talk "if you hurt my daughter I hurt you back ten times harder". But then 2 weeks ago I was in his apartment looking for my bra which had been thrown on the floor and then pushed under the bed as i went to go grab it my hand felt papers so I naturally picked them up, they were poems written in the style of love letters, one was dated to about two weeks ago, it broke my heart because they weren't addressed to me they were addressed to a girl named Flo and another addressed to Alexa. I didn't have time to dwell on it though because we were due to go out so I left it and shoved them back under the bed.

My job was still going steady, I featured in 2 music videos. One for a relatively new band one direction and one for Alex again. He insisted. And I even did London fashion week, It was a definitely a pinch me moment. Walking alongside people like Kate Moss and Cara Delevingne. Everyone was so lovely. It was bittersweet that George Adam and Matty couldn't be there, but Ross, Alex and my parents were there.

Right now though, I am currently sitting in a coffee shop in london waiting for Ross. He said he had a surprise for me. Whenever Ross said he had a surprise it usually wasn't a good one. It usually involved something nobody liked, illegal or dangerous. One year when we were all 15 Ross decided to steal his parents car drive it to the rec so we could all smoke weed somewhere warm. It probably wasn't a good idea though. Because Denise was coming back late from a shoot in a car she saw us, and heard us (no thanks to Matty), Dragged us back to our houses and we were all grounded for a month. Matty getting 2 since Denise never let him off easy.

The scraping of a chair to the side of me slipped me from my thoughts. "What do you want Ross?" "Wow. Whatever happened to hello?" "Just shut up and tell me what you want" "Okay, well I'm staging an intervention. This has gone on way too long this arguing between you and Adam and you and George. I'm fed up of the distance you've put up. Matty certainly doesn't need it for when he gets back. Apologize please. George is on his way now. Adam has to make a stop first."

I hate to admit it but Ross was right. I had put up a wall between me and everyone. Matty didn't deserve that for when he returned. I also hated not knowing what was going on with George and Adam, it was like a piece of me was missing. Like I wasn't properly whole.

The bell rang throughout the cafe. snapping me from my thoughts again. George stood there. Pulling up a chair on the opposite side of where Ross and I were sat. Silence rang deep through the three of us. None of us speaking.

"G..." I started soon cut off "Y/n. don't I was completely in the wrong. I shouldn't have assumed. Shouldn't have blamed Matty for something that wasn't his fault in the first place, I was wrong. And for that I'm sorry" "G. It's okay. I forgive you. It was a very stressful time. I understand the immense pressure you were under." "Okay friends again? Hug?" I let out an immense puff of breath I hadn't realised I had been holding. Shoulders dropping. "yes please I've missed my tree hugs these past 6 weeks" I say standing up and walking around the table to hug him.

We stayed like that for a good few minutes before George broke the hug pulling away. And sitting down. I followed in his steps sitting on mine and Ross' side. "Have either of you heard from Dee?" we both shook our heads. "I haven't spoken to her on the Matty front since hearing about him stroking horses." I said "Oh weird. How long ago was that?" "About a week ago. she said he should be coming out soon. He's come on leaps and bounds apparently" I said.

"I hope its soon" A voice broke out. There stood Adam. I hadn't seen him in about a month. He looked different. Like he hadn't slept in weeks the bags under his eyes more prominent, I had never noticed them before. He looked stressed, probably was.

"Adam!" I said getting up to hug him. "I'm sorry, I should've realized that it was hard on you. I didn't realize it would effect you that much."

"It's not that. That's not the reason for my eye bags. My cousins visiting. She's driving me insane. She's being so loud at night. Don't get me wrong I love her. You all know I love Flo but man sometimes. She's mad that I didn't tell her about Matty. She's going off at me anytime I'm around her I'm currently avoiding her." Adam says

"well... that's wheels for you" George says after Adam finishes.

"I'm sorry...who the fuck is wheels. And why do I not know about her? Why does she all know you so much?" I say questioning everything that Adam had said. "She's Adam's cousin. She spent her summers over in Wilmslow. You wouldn't know her because you were always in Brighton whenever she was over. So you would have never bumped into her." "Makes sense invite her over." Just as I say that.

"ADAM!! look who I found while chasing you down." A woman with brown hair walks in and tugs on my boyfriends arm. Why is Adams cousin with my boyfriend? I'm so confused right now.

"ALEX!!!!" I say running up to him. hugging him

"hey babe." he says hugging me back.

"I wasn't aware you were back in London?" "Just got back last night. Was just walking to your place and bumped into Flo. Thought she was still in Sheffield. Apparently not." "You are going to have to explain how you know Adam's cousin though I'm so confused right now" Of course I already knew how he knew her the love letters but that wasn't anything to say because he didn't know I knew about them. "She's my best mate has been since forever, she's in the same friendship group as everyone else in the band is so..."

"fair enough, go sit down I'll grab you a coffee. It's on me this time. You bought the last lot." I say kissing him on the lips and urging him to go and sit down with the rest of them.

While I'm stood in the queue. Flo in front of me she turns around. "I don't think we've properly met. I'm Flo. Friends with the whole lot of that table over there" She says extending her hand out with a smile plastered on her face

"I’m y/n, How long have you known G, Ross and Matty for?" "Since I was 17. I'm 26 now. So... A long time. How about you how long have you known them for?"

"Since we were babies, Matty's mum and mine were best friends for ages before Matty and I were born. So naturally that lot came wherever Matty went and Matty went wherever I went. Our Mum's used to say we were attached at the hip."

"So you must be missing him like mad then?"

"yeah just a little bit. It feels weird not having my sidekick with me through everything."

"yeah I can imagine. I don't know what I would do if Matt or Alex wasn't with me all the time." she says.

"Oh so you and Alex are quite attached then?" I say the jealousy leaking out a bit.

"Oh. HAHA" she says. Walking over and getting her coffee and going to sit down next to Alex. weird.

I couldn't help but be worried she just laughed and walked off. 'stop worrying y/n you have nothing to worry about, you and Alex are completely fine' My thoughts in my head were all over the place, I had no one to talk to since Matty left. He was my point of contact all the time we would talk for hours and hours about everything and anything he would calm me down, he was there for me when my ex cheated on me. He was there when my dad went to rehab. And for him not to be here when everything was turning to shit it sucked. I didn't know what to do.

"latte and croissant" The person at the till shouted snapping me out of my thoughts. I grabbed my coffee and croissant and went to sit back down next to George this time seen as Flo had sat down next to Alex.

What I didn't notice before is how close Alex and Flo actually were they were laughing and hugging every few moments, if anyone walked past our table at that moment in time they would think that Alex and Flo were together not Alex and I.

"so, Flo what do you do?"

"I'm a painter, I've found a gallery that's holding an exhibition. I've also designed both the monkeys and the 1975's merch. even after they changed their name many times. Was thinking about leaving them high and dry. Then I heard about Matty going to rehab so I thought better. I actually have the rough drafts for both of your merch guys. Do you want to see" They all answered yeah. And so I realised that was my time to slip out this didn't involve me not feeling the greatest about Alex and Flo already.

⋆｡°✩

"hey dee" I said after the phone call indicated that dee had picked up "hey y/n you okay?"

"yeah just wondering if you had a date yet?" "You're missing him loads huh?" "yeah, just a bit he's my ride or die. I'm going insane. I have no one to talk shit with" "yeah I understand. I do have a date actually. But I'm not allowed to say he wants it to be kept a surprise" "Oh?" I say my eyebrow extending.

"yeah. Look listen all I can say is it's soon and in no time you'll have your bestfriend back. Won't be long now"

"Thanks dee. talk to you tomorrow?"

"yes. Talk to you tomorrow love."

⋆｡°✩

After talking to dee I decided to go home. I just felt like my social battery had died and wanted to be home alone so I jumped on to the tube.

Arriving at my flat I noticed the door was unlocked and left ajar. That's odd. I was completely sure I had locked and closed it before I left.

I put my keys in between my knuckles until I got inside then I grabbed my bat by my door that Matty insisted I kept there when I moved out to London.

Humming broke out through the flat.

Then soft singing.

A one direction song.

"they don't know about us"

I knew that voice.

I edged towards the kitchen where the singing was coming from, just to be sure.

I was oh so sure.

Here he was in my flat. singing. making what looked like eggs.

I dropped the bat the sound echoing through my flat. Making him turn around.

"Geez bug. scare a guy why don't you?"

"Scare you? How about you scaring me? You broke in."

"Not exactly, I had a key."

"You left my door open you idiot" I slapped him on the chest

"OUCH."

"Grow up. You went to rehab not the hospital."

"If you don't recall. I was in the hospital before I went to rehab"

"Just shut up" I say before going into hug him. He happily obliges. Lifting me up off the ground and spinning me around.

⋆｡°✩

"You know when Dee said you'd be back soon. I didn't think she meant this soon."

"yes well, I didn't think it would be this soon until last week when my therapist said he thinks I'm better. well better enough to cope on the outside world anyway. anyway, enough about me. what happened while I was away?"

"G and I had an argument. so did Adam and I but we've patched things up now. I'm back at work doing prep for london fashion week. I have 3 tickets. I was just going to sell them seen as mum and dad can't make it down. But since your here, you can have one. I don't know about the other two though."

"What about Alex?"

"what about him?"

"why is it that you aren't taking him"

"ugh. I found some letters the other day while roaming about his flat. It seemed like love letters Matty. The oldest one was two weeks ago they was addressed to girls named Alexa and flo. and then flo turned up laughed in my face and was acting all loved up with Alex... What if he's cheating on me?"

"Nooooo.... surely not wheels and Alex. Last thing I knew she was dating peter."

"yes...well believe it cause it's very real" I say back

“I just can’t believe it….surely not”

“I don’t know but I just can’t think properly”

“Message him, ask him to talk”

“okay.”

⋆｡°✩

A/n: so it’s finally here after a few months i’ve just been so busy and had really bad writers block but i think this has to be one of my favourite fics… a massive thank you to @imagine-that-100 to letting me use Flo’s character from @nriacc I loved that fic so much so a big big thank you and I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it 💕💕

16 notes · View notes

ace-of-gay · 2 years

Text

This is new

Sam Wilson x little reader

1,327 words

Warnings: age regression trauma, stuffys, paranoia

No pronouns weight or skin color mentioned

Edited to the best of my ability

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》

You had met Sam through Bucky, it was a situation in thought of if Bucky trusted him than you could, you had spent most of your time hidden in your shared apartment with him, the anxiety hydra had ridden you with making the task of being around people absolutely terrifying, frigid cold edges in your mind making it disabling, that was until you found comfort in a therapeutic coping mechanism referred to by therapists as age regression.

In your little headspace you happened to be a lot more curious, adventurous and just open to trying new things, Bucky knew this, he encouraged it, he'd take you on walks to the park where you’d sit and point out the ducks and turtles, the pretty flowers and shiny rocks.

All of this so subtle no figure in the public eye could even see it.

You ended up joining Bucky and Sam on morning runs, your stamina building the same as your voice, different stages but still growing all the same.

On days where Bucky would be busy with therapy Sam would take you for slower runs to keep you out of your head. He would stop and get snacks when you were to tired to run. He introduced you to the public library, your fascination made his heart swell, he decided right than that moment you needed a library card so he helped you get one, it would eventually become your favorite place.

You grew close to him, you felt normal, human, free, you had a friend outside of your experiences at hydra.

At night when the air grew cold and the sky grew dark the drowning feeling of being within the grasp of hydras icy hold, no matter how much of yourself you felt during the day it all ripped from you at night, the most alone time.

Bucky was used to it, he was taking healing a little easier than you thanks to his time around Steve when he came back, Bucky would sit up with you all night if so needed with you curled away in his arms, both little or big he was willing to be there for you.

You got the chance to experience a relationship with Sam the way normal people got to, little did you know Bucky had sat Sam down and made it clear that you weren't just for games. You made same happy and you felt sparks of such flit in your heart as well.

Today was a bit of a new experience, going to the shops, casual, normal, standard, just the way of life ordinary.

You had gone to three shops where the guys had found items they were interested in, but what’s the use of having something if it does not serve a daily need, the movie on the display tv holing your attention.

Bucky and Sam wandered through the section keeping you in sight looking through items stocked upon the shelves.

The movie unbeknownst to you was a horror movie so in the moment where the screen panned to the sight of walls shifting, eyes embedded in them blinking, bleeding, boring into your own, your body ran cold.

The people around you know who you are, they know your past, they’re staring, the walls are staring at you, the room is breathing, you rush to find Bucky, home, he’s your home, but he’s gone, they took him, they’re coming for you.

Turning in every direction, panic present in your movements Sam catch’s on.

Your headspace slipping, falling little to keep you safe from what’s to come. you find a glint of hope and safety when Sam cones into view, the rushing in your ears deafening everything he’s said you rush towards him letting him pull you into a hug, your grasp onto his shirt burying your face into his chest, this definitely took him by surprise, you weren't very often one for touch but he wasn't going to fight it, "hey is it okay if i hug you?" He says quietly for only you, you nod letting him wrap his arms around you running one up and down your back.

He could feel your heart slamming in your chest and your body trembling, a small sniffle and all he could think of was soothing his nephews like this and the few flash backs Bucky had with Sam around, you just need someone to help you ground yourself.

"Shhh you’re okay, its just you and me, no ones going to hurt you, Bucky is in the bathroom he'll be right back"

His hands taking your focus from the sounds around you to right here with Sam

Bucky returns and soon realizes you got really panicked, meaning you’re probably going to slip if you haven't already. "Do you want to go?" He hums causing you to finally look up at him.

He had returned, they didn't take him, your Bucky is safe still, he could see the gleam in your eyes that only shows when you’re little, a blank slate of emotions new to the function of the world, you look up to a perplexed Sam and back to Bucky, shaking your head you knew you could do this.

"Alright, lets walk around and find a snack in another part of the mall" Bucky leads, you take Sam’s hand and follow along, staying silent, you hadn’t even questioned taking to Sam, it felt like second nature.

By now Sam had put two and two together from your mannerisms and how some of his Colleagues in the air force with him had taken up for therapy.

Keeping himself alert to anything and everything that grasped your attention, rounding a corner in the mall the shop on the left warm and inviting for children caused a small hesitation in your step.

"Do you want to go in there?"

He points at the children's store

Weighing your options you nod and let him and Bucky lead you in.

He lets your hand loose and you just stand in your spot waiting for someone to say something. "Go ahead and look around dove" bucky remarks, letting you release from your spot, you walk round and they follow.

looking at the noisy toys and than the ones that move, the activity toys, the interactive ones and baby items that all took your interest, you walk to the other side of the store when a small fluffy orange and white lump in your peripheral vision grabs your attention.

You walk over to the stuffed animal pulling the orange and white fox off the shelf looking it over, petting its soft fabric and hugging it, you don’t remember the last him you had a stuffed animal, "do you want it bub?" Sam questions.

Guilt hits you deep, how shameful it must be that you’re taking a baby toy, that you’re wanting something useless to everyday life, you reluctantly put it back on the shelf but Sam grabs it and holds it out to you, looking you in the eyes he does his best to make it very clear, "love if you like the fox that’s okay, its allowed, you can have it, i will buy it, do you want the fluffy fox?"

You nod and he proceeds to take your hand leading you to check out, placing it on the counter and paying for it, handing it to you, you hug the stuffy close.

Bucky at the doors with a rare smile on his face mirrored by an even more uncommon smile upon yours.

You carry on walking until you find food, sitting down and eating before they both noticed how you slumped over against buckys shoulder, you all finish up and go out to the car, Sam helping you into the back seat and buckling up than handing you the stuffy once again, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead and getting in the passenger seat.

The hum of the car lulling you to sleep.

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》

The stuffed animal in question

Im unbelievably tired and in so much pain but i got this done for yall

#sam x little reader #sam wilson x you #sam wilson x y/n #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson x little!reader #sam reader insert #sam Wilson x reader fluff #age regressor insert fic #agere reader #sfw agere #october writings by ace

104 notes · View notes

thebroccolination · 2 years

Note

Is it okay if you go into greater detail about Win's personality, fears, and insecurities?

OKAY SO.

Win's my favorite character! I love him deeply! And I've been enjoying his character growth in Between Us more than anything.

The interesting thing about following him as a character is that there're different versions of him with similarities and differences: currently unfinished Hemp Rope, his brief appearances in UWMA, the specials, and now the ongoing main series (currently episode four).

His character in Hemp Rope is hard for me to get a read on because we only have unofficial translations and an incomplete story, so a lot of his motivations and emotional interiority are missing nuances.

Here, have the most beautiful image ever drawn of Win, taken from the Twitter account of the official Red Thread mangaka:

Meanwhile, UWMA is tricky as well because as Boun has said, he put a lot of his own personality into the performance because he didn't have a layered character to study. He kind of created his own version of Win out of necessity. He only had about an hour total onscreen, and apart from his stairwell scene giving Dean advice, he didn't have much of an impact on the plot, so he wasn't a central character with a lot of detail.

That said, we got some crucial moments in his scenes with Team that helped us understand what kind of person he is.

So! When I wrote WinTeam fic over the past two and a half years, I used a composite of his characters in Hemp Rope and UWMA. The flirtatious side we see in UWMA, the nurturing side we see in Hemp Rope, etc.

The specials weren't meant to be canon, and honestly someone on here recently called them unofficial workshops, which…yes?! That's a brilliant way to think of them, I think. The feedback they got on the specials (mainly that they were portraying BounPrem more than WinTeam) probably helped them focus their performances in the main series.

So now we're seeing the main series unfold, and since Win has a full development arc to go through now, it's a lot easier for me to see all of these little nuances. He's a full-fledged, multilayered character! One of the leads! YAY FOR MY SON. <3

His core fear seems to be that he's going to be alone forever, and while he seems resigned to it in episode one, he still clearly has some hope by the fact that he's grabbed onto Team with both hands. Even though he also has no idea what to do to keep him, he wants Team.

I think he also has a craving for validation. That "Team helps Win feel wanted" from the synopsis has been an ongoing chant in my head for the past two years, and it's fascinating to see it play out onscreen. I want to see his interactions with his parents before I go too deep into analyzing anything with his family, but it's pretty telling already that no one's actually sat down with View – a sixteen-year-old – and explained what's expected of him. Not until Win did.

Win's mother seems to be the one who nurtures Wan, but then you have scenes where Wan is criticizing both of their parents when he talks to Tul and Win. (Maybe because she doesn't stand up for him strongly enough to his father?) I thought it was fascinating that Wan views Win as the favorite, but he doesn't seem to hold any serious resentment toward him. My guess is it's because of this "rule" Win apparently made up: they're equals to him. Even if their parents have chosen a favorite (unconsciously or not), Win isn't using that leverage over his brothers.

He's even enforced that same equality with food. Maybe it's a conscious or unconscious response to their parents making their favoritism obvious? Or it's just something he thinks is the right thing to do in general. I'm waiting on more scenes with his family, because right now I feel like it could be a number of things.

Basically, my dear Anon, I'm in the middle of a whole new Win Phawin analysis stage. I knew my characterization of him would change with his series, and I'm delighted by what we've gotten so far. :')

I hope this was what you were hoping for!

#kiranokira answers #between us #between us the series #win phawin #win phawin wanichakarnjonkul

62 notes · View notes

innytoes · 7 months

Note

Ooo for the autumn prompts #22 for Ray/Rose/Bobby & their kiddos would be super cute!

Because you said Bobby and not Trevor for some reason my brain insisted on Sunset Curve Never Died AU, so um... enjoy.

When Julie and Carrie came to them and said they'd decided they wanted to all go as Food for Halloween, Bobby was a little relieved. Last year had been Princesses, which had also been fine, until he realised that no, all of them had to be princesses. Yes, even Papi and Dad.

It wasn't even that he was embarrassed to be seen out in public in in a frilly dress. He'd long outgrown his need for everyone to think he was Cool. It was mostly that Carrie insisted he wear heels, which was agony on his feet, and legs, and honestly his butt and back.

Also, that Ray looked way hotter in a princess dress than him.

Food, he could do. A giant carrot costume or something would be warm, and comfortable, and he could probably get away with sneakers.

Of course he should have known the sparkle in Rose's eye when she said she'd take care of it with the girls meant nothing good. His partner loved nothing more than to poke gentle fun at her two dorks. It was just that Bobby was a much easier target than Ray.

Of course there was the whole 'Bobby hit on her as an incredibly uncool and awkward seventeen year old'. That was a given. Thankfully she hadn't been cruel in turning him down, and he'd sulked to Sam 'n Ella's just in time to hear Reggie say 'street dogs haven't killed us yet', steal a bite from a protesting Luke's hotdog, and demand they get pizza instead.

They'd only just made it through the final bows before Alex ran off stage to puke, closely followed by the rest of them. Rose had been the one to call the ambulance,

They'd signed their record deal in the freaking hospital, because a little near-death food poisoning experience wasn't going to stop Luke Patterson from getting things done.

They'd used a little of their signing bonus to send a fruit basket and some cash to the cleaning crew at the Orpheum.

Thankfully, Bobby was able to leave that all behind him. Becoming a rockstar was surprisingly good for him and the boys. Instead of sex, drugs, and rock and roll, it was mostly rock and roll, decent food, and well, okay there was some sex.

A lot of sex.

A lot of sex that resulted in Bobby's life being turned upside down at a tiny little squirming baby with big brown eyes and a killer set of lungs.

Their lives changed a little after that, nobody's more so than Bobby. Thankfully he had his boys with him, to advocate with him to the label, to take shifts with a screaming, crying infant (they may not want to play Reggie's country songs on stage, but they all had to learn them at some point, because it was the only thing that calmed Carrie down), to help him through the lows and celebrate the highs.

Still, most of the actual parenting fell on Bobby. So when Carrie made a friend at toddler yoga (shut up Luke it's good for her coordination and motor skills), and that friend's dad was hot... well, Bobby waited a few more classes until he was pretty sure the guy was single and then hit on him.

Which was of course the exact day that Ray Molina, dad of the year, had brought his wife to his weekly Daddy Daughter Date, and Bobby got turned down ever so gently again.

It hadn't been a good blow for his ego, especially not when he realised who Rose was. But thankfully, Rose took it in good humour, and so did Ray, and at least he got two new parent friends out of it.

And then a year later, more.

Still, even after four years together, Rose delighted in teasing him just a little, so when she handed him his costume and he saw what it was, all he could do was sigh and give her a 'really?' look, before pasting on a smile for the girls. "I love it," he lied, and they cheered.

So yes, on Trick of Treating afternoon, he rocked up to the curb in his Hotdog costume, Rose as a strawberry milkshake and Ray as his Side of Fries, while they carted around their little cupcake (Carrie), Strawberry (Julie) and Pumpkin (Carlos).

Of course Rose got the guys in on it, and the girls were very excited to see their Uncles Reggie and Luke as Ketchup and Mustard, as well as Uncles Alex and Willie as a jar of pickles (Oh god he remembered hearing about the pickle juice on those battery cables) and... a giant banana.

"Banana?" he asked Willie. Usually he and Alex did a couple's costume. Willie dramatically lowered himself into a split, and smirked.

"Banana split." He said, waggling his eyebrows. "I'm dessert."

He rolled his eyes, but the girls and Carlos laughed, so really, what more could he want?

And maybe that night, once the kids went to bed and all the candy was handed out and the porch light was off, he got his revenge on Rose, sexily posing in the doorway of their bedroom in Just The Costume and asking her if she wanted to 'taste his hotdog'.

#julie and the phantoms #RosexRayxBobby #fanfic #AUs are awesome #I have a feeling Rose's shrieks of laughter wake the kids and sexy time is very much delayed #but that just gives Bobby more time to think of more hotdog puns to spring on her in the middle of sex #Ray is just very amused at his two partners being absolute goobers #Imagine one of those cheap hotdog costumes with bare legs sticking out it was 5000% not sexy even with the pose #I wrote a thing

7 notes · View notes

hairmetal666 · 1 year

Text

The VMA oral history is posted in full on ao3!

At the 1993 MTV VMAs boy band heartthrob, Steve Harrington, and grunge's newest bad boy, Eddie Munson, brawled on stage while presenting the award for Best New Artist in a Video . We went behind the scenes to get the full story behind one of music's most shocking fights.

Jim Hopper, Head of Security, Universal Amphitheater: It started when Munson didn't bother coming to rehearsals. Hungover. That's when producers would have told him about the change in co-presenter.

Murray Bauman, Producer: We called Munson. Left many messages. We wanted to iron it out before the show. You know, like if there were any issues with his new co-presenter.

Chrissy Cunningham, Manager, Eddie Munson: I didn't get a call. If they wanted to contact Eddie, they should have called me. They didn't. But I told him he needed to be at rehearsal, so he didn't embarrass himself during the ceremony. He never listens.

Murray: We called everyone on his team. None of them bothered responding. We had Harrington run it alone. He did fine. We were ready if Munson didn't show.

Hopper: That would have been easier.

Eddie Munson: No, they didn't call us. And nobody bothered to say anything when we arrived, either. We were there on time.

Chrissy: "On time" is generous. Eddie wasn't technically late. He was definitely present when the show started.

Eddie: What I'm saying is that they had plenty of time to give me a head's up to the change.

Steve Harrington: They told me I was presenting with Munson. I agreed. I was never the one with a problem. Would it have been better if he hadn't showed? Yeah. Obviously.

Robin Buckley, Manager, Steve Harrington: Steve is a professional. Whatever happened in the past, he wouldn't have let it cloud that show.

Eddie: Bullshit. Steve Harrington has never let anything go in his life.

21 notes · View notes

crmsnmth · 23 days

Text

Finding Comfort

My favorite game growing up was Bubsy: Claws Encounters of The Furred Kind. I didn't realize the awful controls, or that Bubsy never ever stopped with one-liners and quips, only comparable to the absolute worst of bad puns and shitty pop culture references. I didn't realize that the momentum and snaps of camera weren't all the best for feelings of motion sickness. I had no idea that it was repetitive and kind of a boring game overall. I didn't feel like the hit boxes around enemies was utterly damaged and sometimes you die from heights and sometimes you don't. The very basic rules of the game are flawed with bad design choices and even worse programming.

But I loved it. I only had five games for my Sega Genesis, and Bubsy was the one that held my attention. It held it over Sonic The Hedgehog, over Tailspin, over Bio-hazard Battle, and definitely far over Cutthroat Island. I could never get past the third act on Marble Zone. I couldn't keep up with the patterns of Dr. Robotnik. And I never could get past the first flying stage in Tailspin, until I learned it's easier as Baloo and not Kit. I never was all that great at the side shooting space ship games, but I played the crap out of the first level. It took me years before I ever beat the first boss. And Cutthroat island was impossible for a kid more excited to be playing a video game, then to be any good at it.

But Bubsy was different. It was playing a cartoon, with it's ADHD gameplay and constant cartoon physics that it enthralled me. It hooked me as a kid, and I played it all the time. I figured out every path through it, and tonight I was going to beat it, come hell or high water. I think my parents were having a party that night, because I never was allowed to play more than an hour a day. Unless there was a party, and there were a lot of parties. Which meant I went to my room, closed the door, and played Bubsy on a little combination VCR/TV combo that sat with small screen atop my dresser. And I'd play Bubsy instead of listening to the sounds of snorting, and laughter, and talking that seemed to be way to fast to be normal. But Bubsy's little one-liners would mute out the sound.

And I'd play late into the night. Even as a kid I was an insomniac. I'd have my light off and just be in the glow of a digital world that I enjoyed so deeply. It was there on nights where my parents weren't having a party, but instead shouting and screaming and throwing things. It was there when I learned how to entertain myself, because there was no one willing to do anything. You can only ride your bike in the driveway for so long before the scenery gets boring. It was there when I started to realize that that's how life was, and you had to learn to love your isolation. It was there to make me laugh at the horrible cartoon animations, especially of the death sequences when nothing else seemed bright. I never did beat it.

I grew, and eventually moved on with consoles, old one's being stacked at the foot of my closet, forgotten for the next generation, with shoe boxes filled with old games and cords. And I learned of the awfulness everybody thought of one of my all-time favorite games. I learned about all it's actual major flaws, and as soon as it was pointed out to me, I couldn't help but agree. But I agreed, sheepishly. Like a cat owner telling you how much they love their little asshole. My cat's a pain in the ass, but she's my best friend. I learned it had sequels that I'd never played, and when I did eventually play the rest in the series, I was let down. The magic wasn't there like it was in that over sized black Sega Genesis cart. And as dramatic as this sounds, that was the day my childhood officially ended.

Then life came, and I traveled. I suffered loss and heartbreak and addiction and have started over more times then I can count. I've had some triumphs, but a lot more failure. I've lived isolated, and I've lived always outside. And life got hard. It got hard and I didn't know what to do. I searched inside myself, trying to remember who I was. Who I was supposed to be. I searched through months of alcohol induced sleep. Through the dance between dealer and user. I searched through rehabilitation, and through relapse. I searched through loves, both real and imagined. I searched through razorblade traces, and through far too many little yellow pills. I searched, and I searched, and I searched.

I couldn't find myself, so I sunk deeper into myself, as if my brain was sentient quicksand, knowing exactly where I had to step to save myself. To actually learn myself. To remind myself that no matter how hard life kicked me down I had to stand up and never fall down that route again.

While stoned and alone with the internet, I found an emulator one day, a Sega Genesis emulator. I'd never even thought about that little black box that kept me company on thumping rock music nights, in so many years. And as I looked through rom files, stoned and staring at lists and lists of games, I downloaded one here and there, the usual games people get. Sonic, Gunstar, the one's that top every top ten list. And there was a picture of the stupid annoying bobcat. I downloaded it, as a joke, because Bubsy is so awful. I wanted to see how bad it really was, you know, for funsies. I know it's awful. Everyone says it's awful. Everyone lists it as one of the worst games ever made. But as soon as that download finished, I was loading it.

And the screen went black and to the publishing screens, and there was a twitch in my head. A quick blinking of my lids. And I pressed start. And that familiar music started playing. The graphics which are still an odd choice instantly brought me back to being eight years old again. And I played. I ran through the first three levels, because those are the ones I played the most. I jumped on dumb enemy design, watching them puff into a fighting scuffle of smoke. For the first time in years, I was safe. I was in a place I knew for a long time. I was with something I had forgotten knew how to comfort me. And it comforted me. The fairground levels made me tear up, feeling a sense of ease I didn't know actually existed. By the time the swamp levels began, I wasn't the person I disliked anymore. I was that quiet kid, who was more excited to be playing a video game, then I was to be any good at it.

I beat the game that night, in one simple cathartic moment. It was over. The game was finally over. This horribly made annoyance of game was over. I had finally tackled a beast. And I cried. I know how pathetic that must really sound, but I cried. It was a release. A chapter finally closed. The exaltation of beating a game I once held so close to my heart was such a release. And it may have been because I no longer heard the sounds of a lower case home. It was quiet when the credits rolled. And I slept as the game played its animations over and over again. Unwatched by closed eyes with quiet dreams.

#essay #writing #my writing #spilled thoughts #spilled feelings #spilled ink #writerscorner #wrtieblr #poets and writers #punk rock soap operas #punkrocksoapoperas #stories #creative writing #writers community #literature #free form #personal #crmsnmth #art

3 notes · View notes