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heezoneie · 3 years

Note

Hi, can I request a SKZ and Enhypen legal line reaction to you doing WAP or twerking out of nowhere?

i though this one was fun to write 😆, thank you for the request! <3

group: enhypen & stray kids

member: enhypen legal line & all of stray kids

genre: crack(?), fluff, possibly suggestive at times

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enhypen Legal Line

Heeseung:

• you guys had been just chilling on the couch at the dorms, the other boys no where to be found.

• your head rested on heeseung’s lap as he scrolled through his phone. “hee, i’m bored” he looked down at your face upon hearing your statement.

• “well there’s not much we can do right now, maybe when the boys get back.” he stated playing with your hair.

• growing impatient, a mischievous idea popped in your head. sitting up from his lap, you go to set your phone on the tv stand directly in font of the couch.

• you were about to do a challenge that has been going around tiktok for quite a while. you were not one to do tiktok challenges very often, so this would come as a surprise for heeseung.

• seeing you stand up got heeseung curious. he watched your every move as you setup your video.

• when the familiar “WAP” began to play through your phone speakers, heeseung’s eyes widened.

• as soon as you started actually doing the dance, he would be so flustered. face beet red, but bby would not be able to take his eyes off you.

• he thought you did such a good job, even if the dance was a bit “pRoVOcAtIve” so after you finished the dance and walked over you him, he immediately buried his head in your neck.

• “that was so good baby, but try a less inappropriate dance next time? okay?”

Jay:

• you and jay were in the practice room at the company because he decided to stay back to get some extra work in.

• he asked you to come keep him company, since he didn’t want to be alone. ofc you showed up, bc who wouldn’t want to watch their boyfriend dance.

• after a while of practicing, you and jay decided to just listen to music over the speakers, until a rather seductive song came on.

• feeling bold, you decided to dance a little to it. swaying your hips side to side, twerking, anything to match the mood of the song.

• jay’s eyes darkened at the sight of you dancing like that. he didn’t know you could possibly be any sexier.

• jay watched the way your hips moved, your face, your legs. he made sure to take in every little move you were doing.

• after the song ended, he came up behind you and grabbed your hips. he pushed you against the wall and turned you to face him.

• “my pretty baby. that was rather bold to dance like that when anybody could walk in and see you.” he leaned in to your ear, “i think you should dance for me like that back home....but with less clothing.”

Jake:

• jake had just got finished with a long day of practice, and wanted nothing more than to come home to his amazing s/o.

• you however, had been lounging around the house all day. you were scrolling through your phone, when you decided you would past the time by making some tiktoks.

• you had been midway through doing the “WAP” challenge, when your boyfriend (with amazing timing) walked in.

• jake kinda just stood there flustered, not knowing what to do. he really said some “🧍‍♂️”

•getting up from the ground, you grabbed your phone and rewatched the tiktok. seeing jake’s reacting made you laugh.

• you turned around to him, where he still stood just staring at you. (bby malfunctioned)

• “jake? you good?” blinking a couple times, he finally snapped out of his daze, “OH, uh yeah i just- uhm. you were good, i just didn’t know you could dance like that.”

• smiling you went to give him a hug, “i could dance like that more if you want 😉”

•this boy d r a g g e d you back to your room with the biggest smirk on his face.

Sunghoon:

• okay, so this boy is a little 🤏 a w k w a r d

• when you stated twerking in the middle of the kitchen he didn’t know what to do

• it’s not that he didn’t like it, cause he most definitely did (possibly got a little turned on)

• it’s just he didn’t know what to do or what to say, so he kinda just...walked out?

• you followed him into the living room where he just sat on the couch thinking about what to say.

• “ you okay hoon?” he looked up from the couch, “ i need a second to process what happened.”

• after a couple of minutes of silence he grabbed you and pulled you onto his lap, with each of your legs on either side of him.

• “how about you do it again, but this time i want to feel you.”

Stray Kids

Chan:

• you guys were in his studio, while he was working you decided to tease him a little bit ;)

• you got off the couch and slowly walked up behind his chair. you proceeded you slowly turn his chair around to face you.

• you stared to dance/twerk very sensually in front of him. his eyes said “👀”

• he thought you looked so good, like his baby dancing for him? pure bliss.

• he watched you so closely, just admiring the way you moved your body. you put him a whole trance.

• bby chan did not know how to control himself after seeing you dance like that.

• he took of his headphones, and took you to the couch, let’s just say your teasing worked very well ;)

Minho:

• this was actually a dare you had gotten from felix. being the tiktok king he is, he dared you to do the WAP in front of minho.

• you obviously couldn’t turn down a dare, so you agreed. felix helped you plan how to make it seem less forward.

• you were gonna go into the practice room while minho was in there, and ask him if he wanted to do some tiktoks with you (you knew he was gonna say no, cause he was most likely going to be tired)

• minho enjoyed watching you do tiktoks, bc he thought you were the cutest little thing, even if he would never say it.

• he thought you were gonna do some innocent dance like the renegade or another challenge.

• when he saw you start getting on the floor and twerking his mind went completely blank.

• that was until he remembered you were filming. he immediately ran to turn off the camera.

• “that’s only for me to see baby, but could you send that video to me? for research purposes😇”

Changbin:

• changbin had called you to come hang out with him at the dorms, cause why not?

• when you got to dorms you noticed none of the other boys besides changbin himself were there.

• “where are the other boys binnie?” you asked while going to give him a hug. “i think they are all at the company, they still had some work to do.”

• after releasing from the hug, the both of you went to cuddle in bed. curling up into changbins side, you got an idea.

• “hey binnie?” he looked at you, “do you want to see a dance i learned?” surprised, he quickly nodded his head and sat up against the headboard.

• you got off the bed and began to slowly walk up to changbins side of the bed. he looked you up and down while licking his lips.

• you began to dance a special dance you made just for him. he closely watched the way you moved against the floor, and eventually the way you moved against him.

• once you finished he grabbed your hips and pulled you closer, “your lucky we are the only ones home.”

Hyunjin:

• we all know this man would be so vv shocked when you started slowly twerking on him the middle of the dance room.

• ofc he loved it, but he was so surprised he pushed you off 😔

�� you kinda just stood there embarrassed, like you took a bold move and failed (r.i.p y/n)

• but he eventually he pulled back by the hips, and started to move against you as well.

• he guided your hips against his, and you both were lowkey just grinding against each other in the private dance room.

• mans got super turned on, and immediately took you home where you both could have some more fun ;)

Jisung:

• bby would hype you up, he’s your personal hype man for sure.

• as soon as you started dancing for him he would be cheering you on, dancing with you, you name it.

• he would be so excited bc he just lives to match your vibe :(((

• would 100% video tape you so he can watch it later when he’s feeling sad.

• would definitely admire the way you move, and be so shocked, like he never knew his bub could dance like this???

• he would ask you to teach him the dance, and probably end up having a dance party with you.

Felix:

• this babe would join you, as soon he saw you setting up the phone. he jumped from his place on the couch.

• “Oooooo, what tiktok are we doing???” he would be so eager to make every tiktok with you, cause he love bonding with you :((

• when y’all started doing the “WAP” he got excited cause he knew the dance already. he was also excited to see you dance to it.

• probably had small naughty thoughts going through his mind while watching you, but for the most part he was happy seeing you enjoy yourself.

• when it came down to actually filming the tiktok, yall would be goofing off so much to the point you had to film it multiple times.

• just saying, the final product? y’all slayed.

Seungmin:

• okay, so i feel seungmin would act like he didn’t care, but hear me out.

• he would definitely be eyeing you the whole time your dancing, and be lowkey jamming in the background.

• but the second you look at him he’s this “😐”

• he doesn’t want you to know how much he’s actually enjoying watching you move your hips in that way.

• he would probably act annoyed, and tell you to hurry up, but would 100% love watching to dance.

• definitely sent himself the video of you dancing when you weren’t looking :)

Jeongin:

• he would, with no doubt, act disgusted. is he actually? no way.

• would absolutely NEVER let you know he really enjoyed watching you dance in a sexy form.

• would probably get embarrassed, and tell you to stop (he doesn’t actually want you to tho, he just doesn’t want anyone else to see you dancing so seductively)

• lowkey possessive, but in a cute pouty way, which is why he used the being disgusted as and excuse to get you to stop.

• would probably end up still getting turned on, and his face would turn so so red when you figured out the effect you were having on him.

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mcwriting · 3 years

Text

sweet home alabama (1)

Here’s chapter 1!!! I hope you all enjoy!

Story Masterlist

Word Count: 2178

Warnings: Really mild language and mentions of alcohol consumption

∆

“Tom! Tom! Over here, Tom!”

The 23 year old actor tuned out the voices of the paparazzi and ignored lights flashing as he walked up the sidewalk.

For the first time in 5 years, he was finally headed back to where it all began: his tiny hometown in Alabama. With his private charter leaving at noon, Tom had known the paparazzi would be unavoidable, but he was still annoyed by their insistence.

When his team finally made it in the doors, he breathed a sigh of relief, but still felt a turning in his stomach at the thought of returning after all these years.

He hadn’t exactly left everyone on the best of terms.

He chose not to dwell on it though, instead saying a few goodbyes and loading up with his younger brother, Harry, who had been back and forth since his own high school graduation and knew what to expect back home.

One could tell by the way Harry’s accent stuck and Tom’s hadn’t, taking on a more neutral midwest sound to hide his roots. He wasn’t necessarily proud of it, but it sure did keep him from being typecast.

With one last sigh, he turned and waved to his agent and bodyguard, getting a quick glance at the city around him before stepping inside the cabin.

This was going to be interesting.

∆

Y/n took in a deep breath as she dug a spade into the earth, just beneath a cotton plant.

She was out in the middle of one of the hundreds of rows on this particular farm. The soil she had collected was scooped into a small plastic jar, which she then labelled with the date and location.

It was the beginning of summer, early June, and already pretty hot. Even though it was starting to become dusk, y/n guessed around 5:30, the stiff jeans and long sleeved button up she wore to protect from any excess pollen, as blooms were beginning to form, made her hot and thirsty.

She stuck a little dowel with a pink flag tied to it in the hole, filling in the dirt around it so it stood up straight before she got herself up.

When she stood, her unbuttoned shirt allowed some airflow over her tank top, but her back was still wet with sweat. Although her hair was pulled into a bun, the wispies that fell from it also stuck to her neck uncomfortably.

She began the walk back up to her truck, which was parked in the driveway of Melanie’s home, one of her childhood friends.

As she was organizing the fresh jar with the multiple others in a cardboard flat on the floorboard, Melanie stepped out onto the front porch, leaning over the railing.

“Hey, y/n!” she called. Y/n shut the door and turned around, wiping her brow as she leaned against the old pickup.

“What’s up, Mel?”

“You comin’ to Alan’s tonight? I gotta feeling you’ll want to.”

Y/n furrowed her brow. Alan’s was the town diner where everyone liked to convene on evenings, when it would transform into a bar. Friday nights were especially popular with those in their 20s and 30s. It was predictable who would show up each week, but Melanie’s tone indicated something unexpected was to happen tonight.

“Oh yeah? And why d’you say that?”

“I won’t spoil anything,” she answered, hands up in mock surrender as she stepped off the porch. “So you in or not?”

“Melanie, it’s a Friday night… I wouldn’t miss it for nothin’,” she replied with a wink, both girls laughing. “I just need to drop this box at the S.H.E.D. and clean up a little. Is 7 good?”

“I’ll see you then I guess. But don’t do too much work before you come have fun, alright? I need my pool partner to be on her A-game!”

They both laughed again as y/n waved her off, hopping into the cab. As she drove towards home, she couldn’t help but ponder on what Melanie had said.

∆

“Aw come on now, y/n! We can’t all be good at math and angles and all that!” Harrison exclaimed, annoyed that she had won yet another round of pool.

“Haz, I don’t know when you’re gonna give up. I’ve beaten you about a hundred times now and I don’t think I’m gonna stop any time soon,” she replied, earning a cheer from the crowd around her. It probably didn’t help him that she wasn’t even buzzed yet.

Once y/n had rinsed off at home, she’d changed into some skinny jeans, boots, and a tight sleeveless top to meet Melanie for dinner in. After dinner, the sun had finally set and the bar was hopping, as usual. Y/n’s friends always packed around the pool table when she went up against someone, especially Harrison.

Someone went up to a chalkboard nearby, marking another tally by her name in the record for most wins so far in the year. Harrison had the next highest number, which was still 15 behind her.

It was all in good jest, though, as the close friends clinked beer bottles and drank to officially finish the game.

Just down the street, Tom and his younger twin brothers, who’d somewhat recently turned 21, walked towards Alan’s.

“Man, the last time I was in here I was swiping a couple beers for me and…” he trailed. The happy memory ended when he remembered who it was with.

“Yeah well now we’re all legal,” Sam cut in. “And you’d be surprised at who you see around these parts.” He stepped forward and opened the door for his brothers, allowing Tom to step inside first.

Y/n, Harrison, and Melanie were laughing and talking when the usual bar chatter got louder, with a few “he’s back!” and “welcome home!” shouts ringing out.

Her friends were facing the door with eyes wide, already knowing that Tom was coming, but unprepared to see what might go down when y/n realized it.

“What the hell has gotten into you two?” she jokingly asked, but her face fell serious when the pair pointed their heads to the door and raised their brows.

When she turned around and saw his face, it was like the world stopped.

∆

The whole “we’re gonna be in love and get married” thing had worn off by the time y/n and Tom got to middle school, but they still remained closer than ever, trying to fight the new territories that came with puberty.

There was a few months’ period when the two couldn’t handle the emotions that came with growing up (and being best friends with the opposite sex), but eventually they came around and chalked any “crush” feelings up to hormones.

Who would have guessed the feelings would stick?

But it takes a long time to figure that kind of stuff out.

Instead, they began the journey of exploring what it meant to grow up with other people; new friendships and school crushes forming, awkward dances and learning what it meant to have a real “boy-girl party.”

Y/n and Tom had thought it would be just like any other hang out that they liked to have, just with more people.

Playing 7 minutes in heaven at a friend’s barn changed that.

They both acted disgusted at the idea of being shoved in a closet full of horse tack to make out, but curiosity got the best of them and they ended up being each others’ first kiss. It was only a peck, but neither could stop blushing until they got home.

It wasn’t the beginning of a story, but it definitely wasn’t the end either.

And this was only one of the hundreds of memories flashing through y/n’s head as she looked at her former best friend across the bar.

∆

Y/n gulped heavily, staring at the actor who had come in through the door.

“What is he doing here?” she asked quietly, looking between her two closest friends. They averted their eyes. “Y’all knew he was coming, didn’t you? And you didn’t think to tell me?”

“We didn’t want you to skip coming tonight. It’s been five years, y/n. Maybe he’s changed?” Melanie replied gently.

“Well he’s definitely changed,” y/n added as she looked him up and down, her tone indicating a different kind of change than Melanie had implied.

Tom was looking around waving as everyone greeted him, Harrison brushing past y/n to greet his childhood pal and blocking Tom’s view from her.

“Thank you, guys. You all didn’t have to do all this!” Tom said, everyone noticeably taken aback by his accent. Sure they’d heard him in movies, but not many people in town knew he had officially dropped his southern twang. He also wore skinny jeans, an expensive brand-name tee, and most noticeably, tennis shoes rather than boots.

Y/n leaned back on the pool table’s edge and swigged on her beer, trying (and failing) not to roll her eyes.

“Oh Lord, he thinks this is a welcome home party. There’re more people here last week than tonight,” y/n commented, causing Melanie to elbow her and laugh.

“Don’t talk too loud, now,” she giggled.

Tom hugged Harrison excitedly. He had flown the guy out to a couple premieres, but now it had been over a year since the pair had seen each other. When they separated, Harrison slung an arm over Tom’s shoulder, motioning his hand around the bar.

“Miss this place?” he asked as Tom scanned the room.

Tom couldn’t answer straight away as his eyes suddenly met y/n’s. His face lit up and he smiled, y/n offering back an awkward grin and wave, turning around to answer something Melanie said.

“Uh. Yeah, you bet I did,” he finally said, eyes still trained on y/n.

“Just go talk to her,” Harrison said, knowing exactly what Tom was thinking as he pushed the actor forward a bit.

After straightening out from Haz’s shove, Tom came up to y/n.

Melanie was mid conversation with y/n when she saw Harrison’s move.

“He’s comin’ this way,” she warned y/n, who took one last deep breath, rolled her eyes, then plastered on a smile before turning around.

Tom was taken aback when y/n turned to face him, a warm smile on her face.

“Uh… h- hey,” he said apprehensively. “Funny seeing you here.”

“Hey, where else would I be on a Friday night?” she asked smoothly, chuckling. “Sooo… how’ve you been? You seem to be doing pretty well for yourself these days.”

“Yeah, yeah I have been. And what about you? What have you done for the past 5 years? I never hear anything anymore.”

Probably because you don’t care to look y/n thought.

“Oh, well. You know. Finished college last year. Been workin’ ‘round the farms in town. Pretty boring stuff, I’m sure.”

Tom nodded, eyebrows raised. Y/n could see right through his feigned interest. She always could read him like a book.

“So what are you doing back here?” she asked him after a pause.

“You haven’t heard? I got cast in a role about farming so what better way to get into the role than to come do it for real at home!?” Tom answered excitedly.

“Oh, I see. That’s great. You gonna drive your granddad’s cattle or collect eggs or something?”

Tom’s parents had never been farmers in his lifetime, his dad owning the local town grocery store and mom running a clothes boutique across the street. There were other places to buy goods, too, if you wanted to make the 45 minute drive to the nearest Walmart, of course.

Y/n’s, on the other hand, were. They raised livestock in conjunction with her mom’s parents and siblings, something that ran in the family and would one day be passed on to her cousins.

“I might help him out some, but my brothers have a lot of that handled. Maybe Haz’s fam will let me do some work on the peanut farm.”

“Doin’ what? They just planted a couple weeks ago, Harrison ‘n Charlotte just finished spreading straw, and harvest ain’t till September at the earliest. There’s nothing you could do.”

Tom’s brows furrowed.

“Oh. What about cotton?”

“If you’re lookin’ to work cotton, blooms are startin’ to form and it’s lookin like we might have an early harvest in August this year. I’m sure daddy would love some extra hands to water everything while I’m at work,” Melanie piped up. Y/n looked at her smug smile with wide eyes.

“Really? You’d do that for me? Thanks Mel. That’d be amazing. I’ll even work for free.”

“Well if you’re gonna work for free then I don’t even gotta ask him. You’re hired! We’ll see you bright Monday mornin’?” she asked, getting an affirmation in reply.

“You know, it was nice talking to you guys but I should probably visit with some other people,” Tom started to say, then turned directly to y/n. “Hey we ‘oughta catch up some time. Whaddya say?”

Y/n gave another tight-lipped grin and nodded.

“Sounds like a plan.”

Once he stepped away towards the guys again, y/n let out a deep sigh and turned her back to him again, looking at Melanie.

“What was that! You know I’m still in the middle of research at your farm!”

“Look, he needed a job, I gave him one. Hell, he’ll probably quit after an hour of hard labor and gettin dirt on his precious little hands,” she laughed, causing y/n to crack a smile. “And what was that smile you had on your face, huh? I thought you hated him still.”

“Oh believe me I do. Can’t no one say Tom’s the only actor to come out of this town,” y/n said, causing both girls to laugh as they went back to their drinks.

∆

A/N: ahhhh here’s ch 1! Posted a little later in the day than I was hoping but I’m glad I got it out there! Hope you all enjoy!

Send a message or ask if you’d like to be added to my permanent or series taglists so I can verify you’ve been added!

Tag list: @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @l0lmk, @primadonnasdream, @bookworm06, @thenoddingbunny-blog, @agentnataliahofferson, @spider-babe, @stxfxniexreads, @mortallythoughtfulgurl, @onebigolemess, @justafangirlduh

#Sweet Home Alabama #tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #Harry Holland #sam holland #harrison osterfield #tom holland reader insert

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maria-scribbles · 4 years

Text

glitter + crimson (let’s start a riot)//part three

summary: while mother nature isn’t very kind to the obx, jj’s dad is even worse to him. sailor sees the aftermath, relives a day that changed her life forever, and realizes she’d be down with murder if she could get away with it. between nutella sandwiches, story time, and a shared bed, an unspoken thing slowly starts to become a little more real.

word count: 6.9k+ (oops 😅)

ship: jj maybank x oc (sailor flynn)

warnings: abuse/neglect, blood, mentions of parental abandonment/gambling addiction, swearing, whump, hurt/comfort, fluff, blatant references to hocus pocus, the little mermaid, percy jackson and the olympians, and mean girls (and a teeny, subtle reference to stranger things, see if y’all can catch it! 😉)

a/n: i was so excited to write this part, not gonna lie (if you couldn’t tell, just look at that word count). hurt/comfort is my shittt and i’m a pretty big slut for physical comfort/touches so i kinda went ham with it lol. i’m also very happy to finally introduce everyone to peyton, who’s a character i really love and enjoy writing, especially her relationship with her gf alison. both of them will get some time to shine in this part, peyton in the present and alison in the past! as usual, this is unbetaed so all mistakes belong to me. enjoy!

gif credit to @sci-fi

~Masterlist~

part one | part two | part four | playlist

part three: storm surge

It rains the entire week. Scratch that -it storms: the whole island buffeted by howling winds and blanketed by a thick layer of dark and angry clouds that make life just shy of miserable. For someone who spends 99% of her time outside like Sailor, miserable doesn’t begin to cover it. And to think, it’s only the beginning of hurricane season.

The redhead props her chin in one tan hand as she leans against the cool marble counter of The Butterscotch Bonnet Ice Cream Parlor, watching the rain pound against the shop’s bay windows. Across the street she can just make out the rough, gray surf of the Atlantic through a tiny gap in between two buildings and she sighs wistfully, thinking about all the beautiful shells getting tossed onto the beach by the waves. She’s half tempted to just throw off her apron, hop the counter, and make a break for the sand, storm be damned.

She’s almost positive she wouldn’t even be missed. There isn’t a customer in sight and there hasn’t been one since she started her shift three hours ago. Peyton was still in the back kitchen, messing around with whatever convoluted ice cream flavor she thought up for this week; her boss definitely has a knack for concocting weird combinations that somehow work together, at least most of the time. Sailor thinks back to a few weeks ago when they debuted that delicious blackberry balsamic that sold out every day without fail, then followed it with a cilantro lime that was hit-or-miss (a definite miss in her opinion, as cilantro just tastes like soap to her; Peyton had just smiled her infectious smile, shrugged her tiny shoulders, and said, “Can’t win ‘em all, I guess.”) This week’s flavor involves mascarpone and peaches and she can’t wait to steal a sample because if the wonderful smell coming from the kitchen is any indication, it’s gonna be bomb, even though it probably won’t upset the shop’s namesake flavor from the top of her list.

Thinking about ice cream makes her kind of hungry, on top of the fact that she has a terrible habit of eating when she’s bored, so she dishes out a small scoop of Butterscotch Bonnet and grabs a spoon before leaning back against the counter, digging through the cup to find the best part: salted caramel-filled chocolate sea shells, made in house. The days Sailor gets to help make them are her favorite days to come to work, when she and Peyton commandeer the kitchen and have the time of their lives, blasting music and dancing as they slave away. Of course, the little bag of chocolates she gets to take home is a pretty big plus, too.

“That’s coming out of your paycheck, Sail.”

Spoon halfway to her mouth, she sheepishly glances up from her snack as Peyton emerges from the kitchen, fondly shaking her head and sending her inky black braids dancing across her shoulders.

“What am I gonna do with you?” She continues with a wink before starting to make herself a milkshake, dropping two scoops of their tiramisu flavor into a malt cup.

“Sorry, you know I can’t help myself!” Sailor knows the other girl was joking but she apologizes anyway and opens the cabinet to grab a cup and straw for her, setting them on the counter beside the old-fashioned milkshake machine. As far as bosses go, Peyton is one of the all-around best to have and the redhead loves working at her shop. While the Buckleys are rich as shit and total kooks, the family’s youngest daughter is down to earth, kind, and prefers to work hard for what she wants instead of flaunting her parents’ wealth and The Butterscotch Bonnet is proof that, despite her last name and penchant for the finer things, she’s a pogue at heart. It’s no wonder Alison’s head over heels for her.

“I also know you’re bored as shit.” Peyton calls over the sound of the blender, sending a knowing smirk toward the younger girl, who rolls her eyes and shovels another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth as she replies, “Obviously. This weather fucking sucks.”

A loud clap of thunder seems to shake the very glass in the windows and she gestures toward the storm outside, her point proven. Peyton glances around the deserted shop, still bright and cheery despite its lack of movement and life, then back to the relentless downpour, before shrugging and turning back to finish blending her milkshake. “Wanna go home early?”

“Seriously?”

“Why not? You’ve already cleaned this whole place from top to bottom and I don’t think we’re gonna be getting customers any time soon.” Ignoring the paper cup, she plops the straw straight into her drink and takes a big sip, then nods in satisfaction before adding a huge swirl of whipped cream on top.

“Have I ever told you that you’re the best?” Sailor asks, smiling excitedly as she grabs her bag from under the counter and tosses her empty cup into the trash.

“Only every day,” the older girl replies cheekily, smiling as she’s pulled into a one-armed hug of thanks by her employee.

“Well, you’re gonna hear it again: you’re the best.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Peyton pats the redhead’s shoulder with one deep brown hand and then gently pushes her toward the kitchen. “Now get out of here, brat. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Sailor throws a peace sign over her shoulder as she heads out the door, cackling at her boss’s offended call of “don’t call me ma’am!” After clocking out, she fishes her keys out of her bag and dashes through the downpour to her beat-up clunker of a truck. A hand-me-down from Alison, Flounder’s nothing to look at with all the dents and chips in his blue paint, but he gets her where she needs to go and has room for surfboards in the back and two other pogues up front on the bench seat -and the other two unlucky ones riding in the bed, hiding under the boards- so she’s not complaining, even though she wishes his radio worked more than half the time.

(Two reasons why John B’s almost always the group chauffeur: the fact that he can legally drive all five of them around without breaking the law -not that they’ve ever gotten caught in Sailor’s truck but anyone with a brain knows that where one pogue goes, the other four aren’t far behind- and good music flowing from a perfectly working stereo.)

Unfortunately, it’s on the fritz today so her drive home is spent listening to the sounds of Flounder’s windshield wipers and the pounding of rain against his roof. She heads inland from the beach, away from Peyton’s shop in the outskirts of affluent Figure 8 and its kook mansions to the more homey, laid-back Cut, passing by the turnoff to the Chateau and through the woods before pulling into the empty driveway of her tiny house. The fact that her mother’s car is no where to be found doesn’t surprise her in the slightest. Waiting for her on the porch is Binx, the stray black cat she’s taken to feeding and more or less adopted, stretching on the blanket she left out for him.

“Hey, handsome,” The redhead says, kneeling down to give him a loving scratch behind the ears; he meows in response and rubs his fuzzy face against her ankles, weaving between her legs as she slides her key into the lock. “Come on in.”

The front door closes behind them with a hollow bang that echoes through the empty house like the thunder outside. Sailor hangs up her keys and follows Binx down the hall toward her room, ignoring the closed door that leads to her mom’s room and a bed that she assumes hasn’t been slept in in months. Not that she would know: she’s made it a habit to spend as few nights as possible alone in the house, instead crashing at the Chateau or Kiara’s place and hoping her mom’s comfortable in her makeshift room at The Sandbar where Carmen doesn’t have to deal with the teenager she’s supposed to be caring for (Sailor’s always been an independent girl and has no trouble getting by alone but fuck, that doesn’t mean she wants to.).

Her father’s green eyes, the same color as her own, stare back at her from a picture hanging on the wall of a better time, when everything was alright and her family wasn’t so broken; the three of them on the beach with a twelve year old Sailor in the middle and surfboards in hand. Carmen looks like the mother she remembers and misses so bad it hurts, and while Ryan wasn’t always the most caring of fathers and only acted like a dad when it was convenient, she’d still do anything to have him back, terrible parenting skills and all. She turns away from the picture and the complicated mess her heart becomes when she thinks about him, continuing down the hall to her room.

Complicated doesn’t even begin to cover her feelings about her dad, though. She’s always believed she was an afterthought to him, never first on his list but still good enough to tag along for company when he was doing something he wanted to do. He was a man who liked the idea of having a kid but never wanted to actually step up and parent when things weren’t all fun and games, instead deciding to take off to Atlantic City for a month or two at a time to gamble away whatever money they earned at the surf shop.

She wants to hate him. She should loathe him and in a way, she does. She hates the way he still makes her feel like everything’s her fault, even when he’s not around. She hates the person her mother becomes when he disappears, someone distant and cold and so unlike the good, caring mother Sailor remembers. She hates that home doesn’t feel like home anymore and it’s all his fault, and she hates that despite everything he’s put her through, all the hurt he’s caused, she still can’t find it in her big, bleeding heart to truly detest her father. After all, he could’ve been worse. So, so much worse.

The only place she can get away from everything is her room, her own little sanctuary from the cold emptiness of the rest of the house and constant reminders of Ryan’s absence. It’s warm and bright, the walls painted a sunny yellow that reminds her of lazy days relaxing on the beach. Her first surfboard hangs on the wall above her bed, tucked away in a corner, doubling as a shelf for her massive shell collection while pictures of her and her friends dangle underneath, pinned to a long piece of twine. Her current boards stand propped in another corner, leaning against a wall plastered with all types of movie and music posters. Through the windows covered with curtains as light as sea foam, the rain steadily pours but in here, she’s safe. In here, she can breathe.

Sailor strips off her uniform, tossing it along with her bag onto the chair by the door and slips out of her worn red high-tops before pulling on a pair of sleep shorts and the first long-sleeve shirt her fingers find in the closet, then flops onto her bed and pulls the soft blue blanket around her shoulders, reading glasses and well-loved copy of The Lightning Thief in hand while Binx curls up at her feet. Every summer without fail she rereads the series (why, she’s not exactly sure: maybe its nostalgia, maybe its because she lowkey relates to water-loving, steadfastly loyal Percy) and she’s fallen behind this year, so she fully intends on reading as much as she can tonight before bed. The storm provides perfect background noise and soon she’s five chapters in before a sudden loud knock on her window causes her head to snap up in alarm.

Oh no. Without bothering to save her place, she tosses the book and her glasses aside and scrambles from the bed to the window, tearing open the curtains to reveal a sight she always dreads seeing. Her best friend stands outside in the rain, soaked to the bone, hand pressed against his side, and the sight of bright red blood trailing down his face and staining the collar of his gray shirt makes her heart drop to her stomach. Wordlessly, she opens the window and helps him climb inside before closing it firmly and drawing the curtains, once again blocking the world from her -now their- sanctuary, then grabs her blanket from the bed and wraps it tightly around JJ’s shaking shoulders after he kicks off his sodden boots.

Her hand slowly moves to cup his face and her heart breaks a little more when he tenses, blue eyes carefully tracking its movement until he seems to remember who it belongs to and lets himself lean into her touch, cheek resting against her palm. Sailor runs her thumb under his split lip and and wipes at the crimson staining his tan skin, her mouth curving into a small frown when she only succeeds in smearing it further.

“Come on,” She breaks the silence with her gentle voice, barely above a whisper, and reaches her other hand out to take his, “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

His fingers hold so, so tight as she leads him down the hall to the bathroom and she’s so laser-focused on the way they tremble against hers that she doesn’t notice the blood left behind on the handle when she opens the door. After flicking on the light she turns to face him and gently pushes the blanket from his shoulders with her free hand, letting it fall to the floor in a damp heap, then blindly reaches behind her to turn on the shower, cranking the heat as high as it’ll go.

“Sorry about your blanket.” JJ says at last, his voice quiet, and Sailor shakes her head, running her thumb in circles on the back of his cold hand.

“I don’t care about that, J.” She replies just as quiet and before she can stop herself, before she can think about what exactly she’s about to admit, she adds, “I care about you.”

The corner of his mouth lifts in a barely-there smile and while it may be tiny, it’s a smile nonetheless and she feels the tight knot in her chest begin to loosen as she lets go of his hand, reaching for the hem of his shirt. “Can you lift your arms for me?”

He does as she asks but his pained wince doesn’t go unnoticed by the redhead when she pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it on top of the discarded blanket, and her jaw clenches at the sight of deep purple bruises in the shape of his father’s fists marring the skin over his ribs.

“Let me know if this hurts.” Oh so carefully she reaches out with one hand and gently touches the darkest mark, where she’d seen him clutching at outside her window, her fingers delicately feeling for any damages.

“A little.” He admits, shaky breath warm against her forehead and she does her best to keep her hand steady as she checks over the rest of him, then feathers her fingers back over that first bruise.

“It doesn’t feel like anything’s broken or cracked, so that’s good.” She says, allowing her hand to linger for a second before letting it fall from his side. “A rib or two might be a little bruised, though, so we’ll put some ice on them later, just in case. Sound good?”

JJ nods and watches her with those ocean blue eyes as she pulls her own shirt over her head, leaving her in a plain black cami and shorts, before grabbing his hand once again and pulling him into the shower with her. The water’s just a tad too hot and it instantly starts turning her skin red but Sailor doesn’t mind, instead choosing to embrace the heat and the way it burns everything away, leaving behind brand new skin that’s ready for a new day, new adventures. She reaches up and gingerly wipes the blood from her best friend’s face; in a mirror of earlier, he leans his cheek into her palm, eyes slowly closing while both arms wrap around her waist and pull her close.

“Sail,” He whispers her nickname into the humid air between them and she barely registers the tremble in his voice before his knees buckle, sinking them both to the shower floor until they’re face to face, sitting in between each other’s legs. He clings to her, arms even tighter around her waist and face buried against her neck, and she feels the shake of his shoulders when she winds her own arms around them. One hand moves to steadily run through wet blond hair, over and over, comforting in the best way she knows how, the fingers of her other hand tracing circles on the bare skin of his back as water continues to rain down on them like the downpour outside.

She’s eerily reminded of another time they sat like this, sobbing in each other’s arms five years ago, the first time she saw just how cruel his father could be, the first time she realized she’d do absolutely everything and anything to keep him safe, and it was both one of the best and worst days of her life.

Eleven year old Sailor shoved her math textbook into her cluttered locker and kicked it shut with a scowl. She hated math, her math teacher, and especially whoever made her schedule- who in their right mind would put math in eighth-period? She swung her backpack onto her shoulder and grunted softly at the extra weight it carried. JJ hadn’t come to school that day and Sailor had volunteered to take his missed work to him; it made sense, considering she lived closest out of the pogues and it’d make her feel better if she got to check on him herself -there was a reason the rest of the group called her the mom friend, after all.

She’d already collected assignments from the classes he shared with Pope and Kiara as well as herself, so now she was just waiting for John B to drop off his own. As if summoned by her thoughts, the brunet boy rounded the corner and waved, weaving his way to her through their fellow middle-schoolers. “Sorry, you know how Mr. Jefferson likes to go on and on and on...” He said, pulling some papers from his backpack and handing them to the redhead. “Do you remember where J’s house is?”

Sailor rolled her eyes and carefully slid the homework into her own bag. “Considering I live, like, five streets away, I sure hope so.” She fired back, ignoring his cackle of laughter as they joined the rush of students, excited for the weekend, flooding out through the double doors of Kildare County Middle School. She lingered by her friend as he unlocked his bike from the rack and then climbed on, asking, “You’re helping out at the shop on Saturday, right?”

She nodded, scanning the sea of waiting cars and waving when she spotted her ride. “Yeah, why?”

“My dad and I are gonna hang out at the beach that day so we’ll stop by and say hi.” With a casual salute in her direction he slowly started pedaling down the road, calling back over his shoulder, “Tell JJ he can come too if he’s feeling better!”

“Tell him yourself!” She yelled after his retreating back, not surprised in the slightest when he didn’t turn around and disappeared into the trees. Alison’s beat up blue truck pulled up to the curb seconds later and the older redhead leaned out the open window, a shit-eating grin on her face as she joked, “Get in loser, we’re going shopping!”

Sailor laughed and climbed into the passenger seat, dropping her backpack on the floor with a loud thump. Alison winced at the sound, raising her eyebrow as she waited for the younger girl to put her seatbelt on. “What the hell do you have in there, rocks?”

“One of my friends missed school today so I have his homework. Do you mind driving by so I can drop it off? He only lives a few streets away.”

“Sure,” Alison replied, flicking on her turn signal and merging into the stream of cars leaving the school’s parking lot. “So who skipped: Smarty Pants, Bandana Boy, or Surfer Bro?”

The eleven year old giggled at the nicknames -she’d never admit it, but they were honestly pretty accurate- and replied, “Surfer Bro. And his name is JJ, Ali.”

“Rightttt, JJ. What do you think it stands for, huh? Jesse James? John Jacob?”

“Oh my Godddddd!”

The high school senior continued to come up with names, each more ridiculous than the last until Sailor exclaimed “There!” and directed her to park near a small, run-down house on a quiet road. She pulled a folder from her backpack and was out the door before the older girl could blink, calling over her shoulder, “I’ll be right back!”

The redhead slammed the truck door behind her and made her way toward the porch and what she assumed was the front door; she’d never been inside JJ’s house but he always came out to meet them through there so she figured it was a safe bet. The smile fell from her face, ears registering the sound of horrible, angry yelling just as she brought her fist down to knock and she anxiously fidgeted back and forth on the step, her heart starting to beat fast in her chest. What the hell was going on?

"Fucking hell!” An enraged shout came clear as day from inside and as she heard the person’s stomping approach, something in her, a feeling, urged her to hide the folder in her hand behind her back. She jumped in surprise when the door was suddenly ripped open, revealing a fuming, red-faced man who glared down at her with heavily lidded eyes and one hand clenched in a fist at his side, the other holding the threshold in a white-knuckled grip. “What the hell do you want?”

“H-hi, I’m Sailor, one of JJ’s friends? He wasn’t at school today so I came by to check on him.” She said, proud of herself for keeping most of the tremble out of her voice while she studiously avoided his cruel gaze, instead subtly trying to peer behind him and hopefully catch a glimpse of her friend. The man, who she realized with sheer horror had to be JJ’s dad, was absolutely terrifying, with breath reeking of booze and mouth curled into a vicious snarl as he moved to block her view into the house and snapped, “Kid’s fine. Now get the fuck outta here.”

“Can I just see-”

She was cut off when he slammed the door in her face with the hand that had been by his side and her eyes widened, stomach sinking with dread as she caught sight of the splotch of bright crimson left behind on the wood. Oh, God. This could not be happening. She remembered John B’s warning about JJ’s dad, saying he wasn’t a very nice man when she became friends with them last year but she didn’t recall him ever saying anything about this and it hits her like a freight train: he probably didn’t know. Her heart pounded against her ribcage. If JB didn’t know then Pope and Kiara definitely didn’t and a sickening feeling started to churn her belly, both at the thought of JJ facing all of this by himself and the fact that she alone had the power to help.

Inside the house, she heard his dad resume his screaming, every other word accompanied by a sickening thumping noise she’d only heard in person once before, a few years ago on the beach with her parents when two drunk tourons started wailing on each other over a spilled beer: the sound of a fist hitting flesh. Sailor started to panic, both hands flying to cover her mouth in terror. Underneath the screaming and punching, she couldn’t hear anything, any cry or yelp or whimper from her friend and, mind racing with million terrible, awful thoughts, she turned and ran back to the truck, flinging open the door and scrambling inside to grab Alison’s arm, folder in her hands falling to the floor.

“Ali, please, we’ve got to help him-”

“Whoa, where’s the fire?” The older girl joked as she looked up from her phone, smile falling from her lips when she caught sight of the eleven year old’s pale face and wide eyes. She reached over and placed her hands on Sailor’s slight, trembling shoulders. “What’s going on?”

Her lip quivered terribly as she told Alison everything she saw and heard, watching her expression slowly twist into outright dismay, the fingers on her shoulders tightening their grip when she finished, “Ali, what’re we gonna do? We have to help him right now!”

“Fuck, okay, first off let’s calm down- don’t give me that look, kid! We can’t just burst in there like Wonder Woman or something, let me- oh, look!” Alison pointed through windshield, where JJ’s dad furiously stalked from the house to his truck, climbing inside and violently slamming the door before taking off in a cloud of dust. Sailor quickly ducked when he drove by and stayed down until the older redhead gave her the all clear, “He’s gone. That was perfect timing, huh?”

She didn’t reply or even wait for her to unbuckle her seatbelt, taking off at a sprint and bounding onto the porch in no time, furiously knocking against the door. “Hey, J, are you there? It’s Sailor.”

There was no reply and her heart dropped to her stomach. Alison joined her on the front step, her face blanching when her eyes landed on the blood stain on the corner of the door. One of her hands reached out to grab the handle while the other found Sailor’s smaller one and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“Come on,” With no hesitation and the bravery Sailor wished she had, the eighteen year old pushed the door open and pulled them both into the dusky house. The younger redhead wrinkled her nose at the sight of beer cans and pill bottles littering a circle around the couch but she pressed on, calling his name as the girls moved room to room.

“Sail?” The sound of JJ’s pained voice coming from the room at the end of the hall made her heart skip a beat and she dropped Alison’s hand, running forward and bursting through the door in a rush, not even thinking about what state her friend might’ve been in. Feeling like she’d just been sucker punched right in the gut at the sight of him lying face down on the floor with a small puddle of blood forming under his mouth, she dropped to her knees beside him and delicately took his hand in both of hers, nearly crying in relief when his fingers gripped tight to her palm. Behind her, she heard Alison’s sharp intake of breath as she entered the room, darting over to kneel on JJ’s other side and place a gentle hand on his shoulder, and together they carefully helped him roll onto his back, then up into a sitting position with the older girl’s arm behind him as a brace.

Her jaw trembled as she tried and tried to say something, anything; her head was filled with so many questions -what happened, how could he do this, when did this start?- but the only thing she managed to ask was a simple, “Why?”

“It’s just what he does.” He replied with a shrug, wincing at the movement, “I’m sorry, Sail.”

“What the hell are you apologizing for?” She asked incredulously, then followed his finger as he pointed at a pile of jagged yellowish-brown pieces on the floor by his bed.

“He broke the shell you gave me.” He looked so upset, so distraught over the broken whelk and she felt her heart swell with waves of affection for her friend, who was more concerned about her broken gift than he was about himself.

“Hey,” She said softly, turning away from the mess to look him in the eye with a small smile, her hand reaching out on its own accord to brush a lock of fine blond hair away from a cut near his temple. “It’s just a shell, okay? I’ll find you another one.”

The sight of blood on his teeth when he returned her smile reminded her of the task at hand and she shook her head, wrapping her thin arm around his waist. “Let’s get you out of here. Think you can stand?” At his nod, both girls put one of his arms around their shoulders and slowly stood, shuffling out the door with all the grace and speed of an old man with two bad knees, but hey, they were moving and getting JJ out of that terrible place, so she’d go as slow as they needed to, even if her anxiety was getting worse and worse with each passing second they spent in the house.

After loading the kids onto the bench seat of the truck, Alison quickly drove them to the empty Flynn residence -Carmen and Ryan still working at the shop- and helped Sailor move JJ into the bathroom. “I’ll go grab you some towels and dry clothes, okay? I think some of your dad’s old stuff might fit him.” She said, watching as the young girl kneeled beside her friend and started untying his shoes.

The eleven year old nodded at her older friend and sent her a small smile. “Thanks, Ali.”

“No problem, kiddos.” With a quick smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes she was gone, heading down the hall toward the laundry room.

Sailor reached over and turned the shower on as hot as possible. “Okay, um, take as long as you need, I guess. I’ll wait outside.” She jerked her thumb toward the hall but before she could even take a step, his hand darted out and grabbed her wrist.

“Stay.” It was more of a demand than a question and JJ seemed embarrassed to even be saying it, the uninjured parts of his face turning an endearing shade of pink. “Please?”

She just nodded and reached a leg out to gently kick the door shut, her mind racing. She stayed but what the hell should she do now, keep her back turned? Get in the shower with him? From the way he was fidgeting back and forth and avoiding her eyes, he was probably thinking the same thing.

“Oh, come on.” She finally said after a minute or two of decidedly not looking at each other and kicked off her sandals, darting forward on impulse to grab his hand and pull them both under the spray. The water uncomfortably soaked into their clothes and made their movements sluggish as they clumsily shuffled around -stepping on each other’s toes and mumbling identical apologies- before finding a position that was only a little bit awkward in the confined space, his arms on either side of her waist and bracing against the wall, her hands tentatively resting on his shoulders.

“This okay?” She asked, feeling her cheeks reddening from more than just the steam curling around them and frizzing her hair, and JJ nodded, swallowing thickly and blinking away a droplet of red-tinged condensation that slid down his forehead. Her hand, moving on its own accord, slowly reached for his face until her palm gently came to rest against his flushed cheek, the tip of her pointer finger just brushing a small cut that sliced through one eyebrow.

“How...” Sailor shook her head, taking a deep breath before finally asking the question that’d been on her mind since this whole thing started, “How long has this been happening?”

Once again he avoided her wide-eyed gaze, eyelids fluttering shut as he answered hesitantly, quietly, “I...I don’t remember a time when it didn’t.”

His answer chipped away the last brick in the dam and the floodgates broke. She flung herself into his chest, arms wrapping around his shoulders and fingers twisting in the sodden fabric of his shirt, sobbing into the warm skin of his neck. He froze in her embrace, whole body stock-still until something in him seemed to break too, and his own arms encircled her waist, bit by bit, pulling her close as he buried his face into her shoulder and two sixth graders slowly slumped to the shower floor in a tangled mess of limbs.

“J, why didn’t you say anything?”

His body trembled in her arms and she inhaled sharply at his reply of, “Because I’m not worth it.”

Pulling away from his neck to rest her forehead against his, she cupped his face in both hands and forced him to look her in the eyes, her voice quiet but adamant, insistent as she said, “Don’t you dare say that again, got it? You are worth it. So, so worth it.”

The look behind his red-rimmed, ocean blue gaze was made of pure, unadulterated disbelief and Sailor, at a loss, wracked her brain for something, anything she could do to make him see himself the way she did: loyal, adventurous, funny, and oh so brave, already a beloved, dear friend to her in the short time she’d known him. How could she help him realize he was so much more than his father’s abuse?

‘What can I do to make you believe me?’

An epiphany came to her like a bolt of lightning straight to the heart. It was more than a little crazy and the thought of actually doing it was lowkey terrifying but she’d seen it work beautifully for Alison and her girlfriend Peyton that one time and hell, she was so desperate to help her friend that she’d do just about anything. And so before her anxious mind could start to overthink she surged forward, both hands still holding his face in a gentle grip, and firmly pressed her lips to his.

JJ’s eyes were almost comically wide while he stared, frozen still at her touch, and her own eyes were just as huge as she held the kiss for a few seconds and then abruptly pulled back, her face slowly changing into a shade very similar to her hair.

“Y-you, I-” He stuttered, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as a deep pink flush started to color the tan skin of his neck. “Wh-why-”

“Because you are worthy, J. Promise me you won’t forget that.” Her words were as fierce as the hug she pulled him into, only letting the tension bleed out of her when she felt him gradually return her embrace and nod against her shoulder.

“I promise, Sail.”

“Good.”

And with that they fell silent, holding each other tight until the shower ran cold.

Sailor didn’t know it at the time but that hadn’t been just her first kiss but JJ’s too, as they never talked about it until two years later, during a game of truth or dare with the rest of the pogues. Neither actually told the truth, both giving a vague answer about a bet that seemed to placate their friends enough to let the matter drop, never to be brought up again.

The only kiss that happens today is the light brush of her lips against his forehead as she holds him close, even as the water slowly begins to lose its warmth. His embrace is tight, their limbs intertwined so fully that it’s hard to discern where one ends and the other begins and when he speaks, she has to strain to hear the words mumbled against her neck over the pounding spray of the shower.

“I don’t know how much more I can take.”

His confession cuts her deep. Hearing him admit something so utterly heartbreaking and vulnerable, coming from the side of him Sailor alone gets to see, ignites a fury that simmers under her skin and burns her from the inside out, thoughts turning venomous and, dare she say, downright homicidal. Fuck his dad. Fuck his dad and everything he’s ever done to hurt her best friend, both with and without fists.

“If I could get away with murder, I would.”

It’s true. For JJ, she’d do anything and everything to keep him safe without hesitation, up to and including maiming his dad so he could never touch him again (and if she happened to take it a little too far and straight up kill the bastard, she’d most definitely be fine with it.). He laughs, but it’s empty, hollow, and sorely lacking the joy, the carefreeness, the pure life that it normally radiates.

“You’re not the only one.”

Some time later, after the water raining down on them turns ice cold and their tears have dried, they reluctantly disentangle themselves from each other and towel off before making a quick detour to the kitchen to grab an ice pack for his ribs and have a meager dinner of sandwiches made with the last of her bread and a near empty jar of Nutella. He laughs, for real this time, when he reads the note she writes herself on the fridge future sailor, as much as you want to, you can’t live off just nutella and sheer spite, okay? please go shopping. love, past sailor <3 and grabs the marker out of her hand, adding +past jj and a little smiley face that makes her smile brightly.

They return to her room where they change, back to back, into dry clothes -one of her dresser drawers is full of his things she’s stolen acquired over the years- and, after throwing everything wet, including their discarded shirts and blanket retrieved from the bathroom, into the washing machine to be dealt with some other time, they lie on her bed side by side, shoulder to shoulder, wrapped up together in a spare throw stashed at the bottom of her closet. Binx slinks up from his spot at their feet and lazily drapes himself across their laps, purring like a motorboat when Sailor starts running her hand along his back.

“I almost sat on those,” JJ says, handing over her glasses, “and this.” He holds her forgotten book in his hands, casually flipping through the pages before turning it over and scanning the back cover.

“Have you read it before?”

He shrugs, a barely-there grimace briefly twisting his features as the motion jostles his sore ribs. “Started it, never finished.”

“Well,” She starts, slipping her glasses on and snatching the book out of his grasp, “how about we fix that? I’ll read, you pet the cat.”

Sailor’s voice is soft and steady as she starts to read aloud, a content smile on her face that’s echoed by the boy lying beside her when she settles against his side, head pillowed on the arm he curls around her shoulders without a thought. JJ’s the near perfect listener, only snickering once or twice at her total butchering of some of the more difficult Greek names (how come she can say Hephaestus just fine but gets tripped up on Dionysus?) but otherwise hanging off her every word and the relaxed ease with which he runs his hand through the ends of her damp hair fills her with a warmth, a happiness that she can’t describe but never wants to stop.

Hidden away from the rest of the world, curled up together on her bed, they forget the day’s past horrors and replace them with bright hopes for the future, exchanging comforting touches, deliberate yet played off as unintentional, in the soft glow of the bedside lamp -a caress of knuckles here, a brush of a palm there- as she reads into the night, until the cloudy sky darkens to black and they’re both fighting off the languid pull of sleep.

“I think that’s enough for today.” He plucks the book from her hands without waiting for a response and marks their place with a gas station receipt she was using as a makeshift placeholder, and setting it on the beside drawer.

“It’s your turn to read tomorrow,” He takes her glasses off with gentle fingers as she speaks into what little space still exists between them (that’s not otherwise occupied by Binx), smiling at the slow graze of his thumb along her cheek and nestles further against his side. “I’m done botching the names of deities for a while.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Damn it, Sailor kind of hates it when he says that cause it makes her feel things that she’s not quite ready to think about yet. Thankfully, her blush is swallowed by the darkness as he turns off the light and settles down beside her, arm slung low over her waist; her hand carefully brushes against his bruised ribs over the old shirt he wears, ice pack long ago thawed and thrown somewhere onto the hardwood floor.

“How do these feel? Better?”

She feels JJ nod, his chin brushing the top of her head. “Much.” There’s a pause, long enough that she starts to feel like she’s about to nod off, then he whispers, “Thank you, Sail. I know I don’t say it enough.”

She takes a deep breath, fingers stilling on his side, “Because you don’t need to, J. Remember what I said earlier, in the bathroom?”

He nods again but doesn’t reply, instead drawing circles on the small of her back, so she takes it as a cue to continue, “I care about you, okay? You don’t have to thank me for that. I’m just...doing what feels right.”

After a beat, the arm she’s using as a pillow curls and pulls her tighter against him as he says quietly, almost shyly, “I care about you, too.”

The rain outside had slowed to a drizzle without either teenager noticing and the gentle pitter-patter against the roof casts a somnolent spell into the air, dazed and dreamy. It wraps around the pair, not unlike the way they wrap around each other, and slowly, easily, safely, they drift off as one.

let me know what you think!

taglist ❤: @jiaraendgame @hmsjiara @heavensalreadyheres @obxsummer @maysbanks @alexa-playafricabytoto @sunflowerbecca @obxlife @obx-adventures @sexualparkour @mortifiedposts @coltonparayyko @miawantsapuppy @jjmaybanky

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bloodfcst-a · 4 years

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alright, so. i beat remake last weekend, but i didn’t want to come out with my newfound yufi information + meta right off the bat. i think this is an appropriate time to do so now, though. naturally, i’ll tag as spoilers, but if you need anything else, let me know.

also, my verdict? i am so glad i went into this blind, without any hype or expectations or people from fandom whining about it. yet again, i am so happy + i had an incredibly joyous experience. this game fed me + also took over my life in a way i’ve not been possessed in some time so like......... good for it.

also no, i truly don’t miss hearing everyone’s hullabaloo + i don’t wanna hear ur complaints of “ it didn’t say when part 2 is ” so like miss me with that.

also warning: if u didn’t know already, fandom is WILD towards y.uffie for some reason and i also addressed that, so like if you’re from vii fandom u might seriously wanna read this bc... it’ll be pertinent to u understanding my feelings behind it. i did address some questionable topics like the underaged oversexual portrayal + beastality that’s popular for her and i am NOT HERE FOR IT so if u came for that................. issa no from me dawg. when i say unbearable.... i mean it. fandom grossed me out. y’all wild.

anyway. thoughts below !

some things that were CONFIRMED for me were:

> midgar is lax around its anti-wutai rhetoric in its most important parts ( namely, hq, wall market, and avalanche ). for propaganda’s sake among the common people, it stands to create a united front. but in consumerism & in strength, they consider the wutai equals just as anyone else.

see: tseng in the turks; madam m in wall market; the supplier for avalanche.

i would even argue that sector 5 / wall market is the safest place in midgar for wutaians, given don corneo’s obvious fetishism ( and that really............. isn’t saying a lot ).

i’m not going to entertain that it’s an “ admiration for culture and architecture ” in true weeaboo fashion given that of all positions he could give madam m to hold, her duties are to screen women that would be appealing to his aesthetic and to run a massage parlor where the highest bidder gets to have a happy ending. she is literally the “ asian parlors are actually fronts for brothels ” stereotype except in this sex trade, all women go to don corneo. i will have no apologists in this house.

i have more developing thoughts on madam m like how she might be doing the sex trafficking part in her own self-interest / as a type of self-preservation, like the don might say “ well if u don’t want to be a wife then u better find some for me ” but... 1) this isn’t the post for that and 2) that logic does not explain why chocobo sam and andrea rhodea are also apart of the ring. but in my opinion, you can tell she’s not crazy about it bc as soon as aerith mentions it to her she becomes so wildly upset that she breaks character. i don’t think she’s a sell out. i think she’s an exploited and fetishized woman in a tough place, and i feel for her.

despite this, it’s clear that because of his obvious ‘ preference ’ they’re [ wutaians ] held at a higher standard ( i.e., he doesn’t dispose of madam m immediately like he does with every other woman who is unfortunate enough to meet him ), so i’m willing to go out on a limb and say despite the high amount of shinra foot traffic that goes through wall market ( and we know this bc everybody who is everybody from SOLDIERS to Turks go to honeybee inn ), a wutaian would probably be fine there.

> wutai is the strongest world power by natural means. without SOLDIER s & g programs, midgar’s biggest claim to fame is to reach first-world status as a metropolis by siphoning mako via its reactors. without its reactors, the whole town would either be: 1) slums, like below the plate; or 2) as common as every other area in the nearby vicinity ( i.e., kalm, costa del sol, nibelheim ). by siphoning mako energy, midgar truly is unnatural, so... hm...

corel could have been a contender ‘cause they use fossil fuels ( and look at how successful gold saucer is! ), but the failed reactor really threw them out the loop. costa del sol + icicle inn are both partially shin-ra owned / managed, so i’m not counting them.

> infiltrating midgar / shinra isn’t difficult. nor is navigating throughout the sectors. while there is the mention of the ID scan on the trains, we see this is not applicable on foot ( freely able to walk through sectors 5, 6, 7, and 8 as party; jessie + co are able to go above the plate to go to her parents’ house despite already being listed as AVALANCHE and that their fake IDs had already expired ). given that yufi entirely travels on foot because of her airsickness / motion sickness, she’d be undetectable. also note that the first 59 floors of shinra hq by stairwell are not monitored... and neither was the front door, so she could easily sneak in whenever the need called for it.

> established multiple points of contact between rufus + yufi ( and by extension, the turks + yufi ). i’m really going into this in the next section ‘cause... their dynamic became so much more interesting. but we already know that at minimum, there was contact bc she had the phs rufus had provided to godo + was using it to communicate with zack for treasure.... but let me hold off on this bc there’s one more thing i want to add here.

regarding the turks: it’s established that even if a person is someone of interest to shin-ra, they won’t necessarily act on attacking or abducting immediately ( see: aerith ). we already know they’ve known yufi since she was a child, and if they’re working with rufus they’d know what she looked like as she aged, so the excuse of “ she looks different than when they worked with her in wutai ” is out the window. it’s more than likely that they’re enabling her to continue her business with rufus + have probably assisted her with not being caught.

> yufi’s clothes are absolutely normal for her age. it always annoyed me that somehow tifa’s clothing was like considered “ impractical but acceptable ” because she’s a legal adult and because cishet men were too drawn to the boobies to complain. but then yufi was either like HELLA sexualized as a minor ( the amount of ecchi / hentai that exists of underage y.uffie despite there being of-age content [ i.e., her portrayals in advent children + dirge of cerberus ] is.......................................... ridonk ) OR she was like hella slut-shamed and i’m out here like.... hello??? what kinda anti-wutai rhetoric is this? anyway. i’d like to call attention to kyrie, who looks like she’s wearing like 60% of y.uffie’s dirge of cerberus outfit. if anything, this only reinforces that yufi’s fashion choices are.......... legit normal, age appropriate, and anyone who wants to argue otherwise can shut the fuck up.

if you’re really gonna ask “ how come her shorts are unbuttoned ” like go check your privilege. the short answer is probably that rufus stole all of her damn belts to make into his coat. the long answer is that a youth traveling the world SOLO she is probably slim on money to be frequently shopping for clothes ? and the clothes that are available in the slums vs on the plate are probably not great quality ( idk if y’all have ever shopped at a freesized open market before but like... buttons pop off INSTANTLY sometimes and those seams will tear if u stretch the wrong way. like fast fashion but like........ hella wild ). she could find better clothes above the plate, but given the anti-wutai rhetoric up there... probably not a wise choice.

since you’re looking at her outfit anyway.. can i bring your attention to her sweater, and have you note that it’s made of the same material as cloud’s? i.e., she’s wearing shin-ra/SOLDIER brand quality? ( need further proof that it’s SOLDIER? zack and angeal wear the same one ) probably gotten from either a trip to hq or........ someone on the inside............ but obviously cropped to fit her. she might’ve even had it for some time. now let’s keep looking.... i’m willing to bet the latter, and here’s why! ( prepare for galaxy brain time )

now for standard SOLDIERS, they’re assigned colors. we know third class / infantrymen are blue; second class are burgundy / red ( think kunsel ); and black / dark blue for first class. don’t nobody wear green.... in this whole damn universe.... as a main character.... except child y.uffie. HMMMMM. here’s the sweater again to compare.

i’m just saying.

now, the ideas INTRODUCED to me were:

> there is only one AVALANCHE, but it is splintered into different factions.

now i always wondered like, how come they just picked up the name AVALANCHE when it was established already. like idk i don’t think people would be like “ ah yes we’re the n.azis and we’re different than the other ones, but we wanna evoke the same fear ” u know what i mean?? usually u would carry the same ideology... but it was always so apparent that barret held different views and goals than elfe, so i was always so confused.

but not anymore. now it’s established that they’re the same group, begun in midgar + just carrying out different methods of “ fuckin’ shit up for the shin-ra ” over the last 10 years, spreading the word about the danger of reactors + it’s suckin’ up the lifeblood of the planet to anyone who would hear. now that makes sense. in the same chapter that this is established, however, they also claim...

> yufi as a benefactor to AVALANCHE.

now this shit had me like AAAAAAAAH. now there is no damn way you and i played the same game if u didn’t see this. they literally say “ AVALANCHE is being provided weapons by someone to fuck shit up, in return for all the materia in midgar. ”

who would want all the materia in midgar? HMMMMMMMMM.

> with that point established, let’s go back to rufus + yufi having multiple points of contact. so i already introduced the idea that rufus clearly has to have contact with yufi bc he’s the one spouting all the secrets to shinra treasure via the PHS. and yufi has claimed ownership of the phone by literally labeling it as “ treasure princess ” so there is no question that he thinks he’s talking to godo versus yufi.

but we also know that rufus is the person behind AVALANCHE. my man has TIME on house arrest, obviously. we also know that he’s on house arrest in junon, not midgar. now, if he’s out here giving them logistics like places to go to spout their rhetoric, and yufi is providing weapons ( remember, wutai is the strongest power by natural means, and apparently hq is free real estate to explore, so she’s got multiple ways to provide gear without it being an inconvenience to her ), so it’s.........pretty obvious to say that the way she would go in connection to AVALANCHE would be through rufus. also, remember she has bad blood with AVALANCHE because of their actions in wutai, so... she’s not gonna be keen about them anyway. it seems much more practical for someone who already views them ( and tbh, lots of people ) as tools ( rufus vc: “ i own you ” ) to accomplish one’s tasks to help her connect with meeting her own goals ( “ all the materia in midgar ” ).

this would also explain why yufi is found hanging outside junon.

if you opted to grab her outside nibelheim... you might argue that it’s because nibelheim is obviously suspicious + truly the evidence at how shady shin-ra is, given the whole place was rebuilt + is filled with actors to hide the fact that the whole place burned to the ground + was once the site of jenova + currently remains the site as hojo’s secondary lab + other secret, vincent valentine with the protomateria slumbering. she could have been tipped off by rufus as “ there’s another treasure here ” but like... there’s no way she would have known it was vincent. even zack is like “ idk wtf is happening here so i’mma leave this alone. ”

also, i love that rufus uses “ heir to the throne ” verbage, which is so akin to yufi also being “ heir to the throne ” & look at them: spiteful children rebelling against their useless ass dads to create new world order + to destroy the old shin-ra company. i love that for them.

so in conclusion........ this game FED ME. god i wanna play it again and again. i beat it on normal and got everything except 1 treasure and 1 task from chadley. i also need to do all the combat simulators. but given i did what i could in.... 3.5 days, i’m not too upset by it. this game has so much replay value and... i can say i’m glad i bought it twice.

g.amestop give me my freaking shinra badge i’ve damn well earned it.

oh and two more things going forward:

> nanaki continues to sound old as hell. which duh, given advent children. but u know how they established him as a young teen in the og + so it made sense for y.uffie and nanaki to be friends ‘cause they were mentally the same age? i don’t...... see how that works now.

also.....y’all could have missed me with this shit already but STOP SHIPPING HIM WITH YUFI. NOW UR ONLY ARGUMENT IS GONE. STOP. i saw some art of nanaki & y.uffie fucking in the tags + floating around google and i was like....... WHY!!! and then there’s also weird hybrid art like what if they had a kid or something and i just........ STOP.

i have flashbacks of when i first started writing on tumblr + how i was bombarded by furries wanting to fuck bc of this. like deadass king dedede from kirby. later on i also saw sonic & even alligators ( not an alligator man.... tho i did see king k. rool + donkey kong as well........ i hated y’all for a hot minute ). it’s not even “ monster fucking ” it’s bestiality and I’M BEGGING YOU TO STOP. y’all can truly MISS ME WITH THIS.

however, u know, bigby wolf + everyone from castlevania could easily get it. stardust platinum where ya at. if i had to pick it would be....... more humanoid than a penguin or a “ lab rat dog ” u feel?

> i am not crazy about y.uffentine. look. i know it exists. i know it was big bc fandom was like “ optional character ship ftw! ” + then dirge of cerberus came out and y’all went wild ( to be fair, i get it, it was the only ship outside of NANAKI and BEING KIDNAPPED/ASSAULTED BY SHINRA SOLDIERS AS A CHILD that people could feasibly comprehend for y.uffie for some reason............................................................... it was an actually “ NORMAL ” person........ ) but like. i’m sorry. it’s not doin it for me. i’ve seen like two other y.uffie blogs out here that actually stick to canon so like if u want your y.uffentine that bad, like maybe ask them. but please don’t ask me.

ok i’m done for real now! thanks for reading !

#♝ meta.#♚ verse iii . travail.#spoilers /#ffvii spoilers /#remake /#remake spoilers /#ffvii remake spoilers /#idk if y'all need this tagged as anything else.#let me know if u do!

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occasionalfics · 4 years

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hi so i haven’t made any real posts in a while bc i haven’t really been writing that much but i wanted to just post SOMETHING for y’all to interact with

anyway, if you don’t know, i have a youtube channel and i’ve been watching (almost) every movie that chris evans is in because i love him and reviewing them for my channel and i thought i’d give a rundown of the movies i’ve seen so far (including ones i haven’t rewatched for the channel yet because i’m not gonna link to the videos - if you really want to watch, message me) so maybe you could decide which ones are worth your time and/or money 😂

for this, i’ll give a brief description, my general thoughts, and a score from 1-10 (1 being unwatchable and 10 being PEAK cinema)

i’m keeping things very light on spoilers, meaning there might be one or two overall but not for every movie.

so here we go:

The Newcomers (2000) - some indie movie with no theatrical release about a family that moves from boston to vermont because of money troubles. chris is in it for like 5 minutes and he’s honestly the second best part (second to a dog only). 3/10, mostly boring but not offensive.

Not Another Teen Movie (2001) - i feel like everyone has seen this. it’s a spoof of 80′s and 90′s teen movies (namely she’s all that and cruel intentions). chris plays the main love interest and he’s definitely funny enough to pull off the part but it’s not really my thing. 4/10.

The Perfect Score (2004) - this is the first time chris and sc*rj* worked together. 6 high school kids fail the SATs so instead of retaking them, they sneak into a government building and steal the answers. it’s an mtv movie and it’s...fine? not great, not special, but...very early aughts mtv for sure. 4/10

Cellular (2004) - an action flick where chris plays a regular dude who gets a call from a woman who’s been kidnapped, and then has to keep communications up with her in order to save her and take down some corrupt cops. surprisingly funny, i had a great time watching, would recommend! 7/10

Fierce People (2005) - i think this was another indie movie without a theatrical release. based on a book that, from the reviews of both, is identical, i think because the author of the book was also the screenplay writer. and that’s probably why this movie sucked. bby anton yelchin (rip) gets caught scoring drugs for his mom, and because she has connections to this super rich dude, they end up going to live in new jersey with his weirdass family instead of bby anton going to jail. chris’s character is not who you think he is. content warnings for drugs, rape, and murder. overall boring, not what it thinks it is, 4/10

Fantastic Four (2005) - okay everyone’s seen these. i actually hate both of these FF movies, but chris as johnny storm is the only shinning light in either. reed is the WORST and sue is treated like eye candy. 4/10 for johnny storm alone.

London (2005) - literally the worst movie i have ever seen. i hate london. also an indie movie, very misogynistic, very pretentious and self-important. lonely emo boy does drugs with random people in a bathroom at a party he was not invited to INTENTIONALLY, in the hopes that he will win over his ex girlfriend, who he repeatedly emotionally abused while they were together, even though the party is literally in honor of her moving across the country. and she didn’t want him there. please never, ever bother watching london and talking about it online - fuckbois will attempt to tell you that you know nothing repeatedly. 1/10, worst film ever made.

TMNT (2007) - does this need an introduction? chris plays casey, but the movie’s really about the turtles. honestly the writing kind of relies on you knowing a lot about the turtle lore and overall it’s a boring but ultimately harmless film. it’s just really not worth your time. 2/10

Sunshine (2007) - ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES I HAVE EVER SEEN, I HAVE NOT STOPPED THINKING ABOUT SUNSHINE IN OVER A YEAR. 8 astronauts are on a mission to ignite a nuclear bomb into the dying heart of our sun. but it’s a space film so shit goes wrong and, one by one, they start dying. very tense, very sad. the biggest complaint all around is that the first 2/3s of the movie are one genre and the last 3rd is a completely different movie, and yet it’s STILL amazing. please watch (if you can handle a space thriller)! 8/10

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007) - a very bad follow up to a very bad origin movie. not even andre braugher could save this one. reed is really mean to johnny for no reason and i hate his guts. 3/10

The Nanny Diaries (2007) - second time appearing alongside sc*rj*. she’s the main character. an anthropology student takes on a nannying job for an upperclass family in new york, but the job ends up being more than she bargained for. chris plays harvard hottie, her upstairs neighbor who is THE BEST BOY. i loved this movie. 8/10

Battle for Terra (2007) - a very weird but very good animated movie about humans attempting to colonize an alien planet because we were stupid enough to destroy earth, venus, and mars. lots of big names on the cast list for a movie that not many people saw, but it goes ham in the “fuck colonizers” theme. overall, a surprising joy. 6.5/10

Street Kings (2008) - well this was directed by david ayer so my friend and i went into this with very low expectations and it didn’t even meet that bar. keanu reeves plays a sad and angry corrupt cop who almost kind of gets framed for killing another cop, and then spends a good chunk of the runtime just hunting down other corrupt cops without doing anything about his own corruption. it’s copaganda, but very bad copaganda. also chris dies. fuck this movie, don’t waste your time. this is another one where the fanboys will come for you if you say a bad thing about it on the internet, 2/10

The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond (2008) - another indie that apparently caught the eye of kevin fiege? i don’t really know why because chris’s character is very bland and the movie overall is nothing special. tennessee williams wrote the screenplay before he died in the 80′s and then this was made and nothing about it was changed. it’s basically straight people in the 20′s in the south being weird and rude. a rich girl pays a hot poor boy to escort her to parties after a huge scandal was caused by her father. she loves the poor boy but he doesn’t return the feelings and everyone’s sad, dying, or mean. skip it, honestly. 4/10

Push (2009) - honestly, an underrated movie that so often gets shit on because of x-men. push is so good! a telekinetic man meets a young girl who can see the future, who tells him that if he helps her find her mom, they’ll also come into $6 million. they run into his ex and the government department trying to control people with powers, and shit ensues. chris’s chemistry with dakota fanning as big brother/little sister is adorable and i need more people to talk about it. 8/10, very worth your time.

The Losers (2010) - apparently went up against some other star-studded action flick with a similar plot at the time of release and suffered for it, but other than that, this is a fun romp with lots of character. a team of militiamen are framed for an international scandal and forced to go underground until a mysterious woman helps them exact revenge on the billionaire who framed them so they can go back to their families. chris plays one of the secondary characters and he’s PERFECT. best character in the whole movie! you’ve probably seen the “don’t stop believing”/”lethal killing machine” scene around tumblr before - that’s just how his character is the whole movie and it’s great. definitely recommend! 7/10

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010) - we’ve all seen it. lucas lee is the best. there are lots of problems in the word choice and some of the moral quandaries but overall, an enjoyable ode to videogames and comic books. 6.5/10

Puncture (2011) - once again, an indie film with very little theatrical release. WHOOOH though. this movie. SO GOOD! two personal injury lawyers take on a case when a nurse is accidentally pricked on the job and contracts AIDS. they take on a huge pharmaceutical supply company in the hopes of manufacturing and creating a legal standard for using safety needles to protect frontline medical workers, all while chris’s character is dealing with being an addict. based on a true story, honestly one of chris’s best performances (and that’s across the board). you can rent it cheap from youtube and it’s totally worth it. 7.5/10

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) - i mean. it’s cap. honestly this movie feels a little long even though it’s not. overall it’s a good, enjoyable movie and watching it all the way through reminded me of why bucky was so important. 7/10

What's Your Number? (2011) - okay honestly i love this movie? a woman is slutshamed by her sister’s friends and then embarks on a journey through her past relationships to find her soulmate, only to realize that it doesn’t matter how many men she’s slept with because the right one really won’t give a damn and neither should she. everyone’s seen naked collin around tumblr. he’s a good boy. mostly. 7/10

The Avengers (2012) - so i can appreciate that this was like THE event movie of the summer of 2012 but it is LONG and there’s still so much spy shit i don’t understand. my friends and i also think that j*ss wh*d*n oversimplifies most of the characters, and ultimately the writing isn’t super strong. the performances are, for sure, but it’s still not as great of a movie as i thought it was when i was a senior in high school. 7/10

The Iceman (2012) - also an indie? based on a true story. a man (played by michael shannon) is recruited by the mob to be a hitman, and then something happens where they don’t want to pay him or something, so he starts doing a shady job with another hitman (played by chris) to support his family. overall it’s a boring film but michael and chris were both really good! watch it if you like dark mob movies, michael shannon, or winona ryder. 3/10

Snowpiercer (2013) - this movie, no pun intended, is a RIDE. poor people at the back of a train containing the last living human beings revolt against the bourgeoise. everyone’s dirty and tired and hungry. weird shit happens, but ultimately, this was SO worth the watch (and the money i spent on the blu-ray)! 7/10

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) - still my favorite cap movie. excellent characterization, maybe the only time i cared about natasha. the plot should be an avengers movie given that shield is a team concern, but i will stand by the winter soldier aspect of this movie til i die. 8/10

Before We Go (2014) - an indie movie that chris directed (his directorial debut)! it’s...cute, i guess. it’s not harmful in any way, but also not special in any way. flustered woman misses her train, cute musician in the station offers to help her navigate NYC. they talk about feelings and their pasts and what they’re running from and toward. it’s fine. 6/10

Playing It Cool (2014) - indie? i don’t know?? screenplay writer (chris) wants to write action films but keeps getting hired to write romcoms, then he finds himself IN a romcom. it’s okay. some people think it’s terribly misogynistic which i didn’t find it to be, but it’s also just...kinda bland. 4/10

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) - my least favorite avengers movie. i genuinely hate how ultron was handled and this movie has never once made me sympathize with the maximoffs. except for when steve defends their choice to allow experimentation to be done so they could defend their country. uh the party at the beginning is the best part, full stop. 3/10

Captain America: Civil War (2016) - this isn’t a cap film. he has no character growth. this is an avengers film at best. i also take issue with how much of this movie is really just two movies forced into one. bucky gets the short end of the deal in the overall mcu and this is really where that starts. 5/10

Gifted (2017) - PLEASE. WATCH. GIFTED. a former philosophy professor gives up his career to raise his niece, but when his mother attempts to gain custody, he has to fight for the person he loves most in the world. one of the most heartfelt, genuine movies ever. chris and mckenna grace have SUCH good chemistry. bonus octavia spencer (also in snowpiercer). 10/10

Avengers: Infinity War (2018) - probably my favorite avengers movie. great stakes. amazing acting. THE BEARD!!! 8/10

Knives Out (2019) - WHOOO BITCH. TOP TIER. ransom drysdale could do whatever he wants to me and normally, i don’t “date” villains. 9/10

Endgame (2019) - the lesser infinity war. i’m not a fan of time jumps and also hate fatphobia. thor was mistreated and i can’t forgive that.

#chris evans #chris evans ranking #i don't talk about my fanfic on my youtube channel which is why i don't post links to it openly here

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yundaysss · 4 years

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AAAA hello everyone i’m peep and this is my bb evelyn !! :~) i haven’t tumblr rp’d in like two years so a bitch is gonna be learnin as she goes but i’m soooo excited bc everyone’s muses look dope as hell and everyone seems so cool and UGH y’all i am so Ready ... IOJEQIQJW but yes this is evelyn shes sweet dramatic naive idealistic and just started her dj career and lowkey has a secret child ugh anyway lets mf GO <3

˖ °╰ ⌜ [ MUSE 3, KIM CHUNGHA, TWENTY-THREE, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER ] hey, have you seen EVELYN YUN ? last time i saw them i think they were hanging around THE GOOD ROOM. they can kind of be IDEALISTIC but can also be pretty SUSCEPTIBLE. they’re often caught listening to HERE BY NAMASENDA ! they also tend to remind me of NEON FAUX FUR, Y2K ERA BUBBLEGUM POP, CHARLIE’S ANGELS, ZENON: GIRL OF THE 21ST CENTURY, POWERPUFF GIRLS ! let me know if you’ve seen them around, they’ve been working at the championship around ONE YEAR and they’re late for their shift ! ( peep , 22 , est , she/her )

STATISTICS

FULL NAME: evelyn yun NICKNAME(S): evie, eve, e AGE: twenty - four GENDER + PRONOUNS: cis female + she/her ORIENTATION: bisexual ZODIAC: cancer sun, leo moon BIRTHDAY: june 30th, 1996 PLACE OF BIRTH: syracuse, new york LOVE LANGUAGE: words of affirmation, quality time OCCUPATION(S): championship vinyl employee by day, aspiring dj by night DRINKING / DRUGS / SMOKING: yes / yes / sometimes LABEL: the loose cannon / one who cannot control their own emotions and may act out as a result of this TRAITS: (+) idealistic, good-natured, reflective, loyal, sensitive, playful, reliable, resourceful, sentimental, shrewd, / (-) susceptible, imprudent, escapist, dependent, naive, distracted, moody, overemotional, dramatic

BIOGRAPHY

the following biography page contains the following: abortion mention, underage partying.

read at your own risk.

she was born in the 90′s, in the midst of europop and grunge. and yet, evelyn was born into what she would later feel to be a very boring situation — two scientists working at syracuse university who were on the cusp of their forties. besides her parents, she has one older brother who is seven years his junior, which caused a bit of a power struggle in her childhood. from a very young age, she felt the weight of filling shoes that were too big for her. never seeing her parents fail openly in front of her caused the girl to have an enormous weight of pressure as soon as grades started mattering in middle school. the pressure didn’t just come from her parents, either. as evelyn was coming into her own, her brother was there every step of the way to push her confidence back down. always under the guise of ‘playing around’ and ‘just teasing’, her self worth quickly eroded until he moved out when she was fourteen.

which lead to the mess that was her high school experience. it wasn’t long before she realized she didn’t have a knack for school and her wilted self worth was convincing her that she never will. eventually, she found comfort in online forums and social network platforms, often friending complete strangers, which later evolved into coming across profiles of people in the nyc underground nightclub scene. from this, these profiles soon became her closest friends and the people she felt truly understood her the most. so of course, by the time she was able to drive, she decided to sneak out on the weekends to new york city and meet these people.

and, truthfully, it wasn’t bad. at first. they were very welcoming and supportive, and always knew where to go to have the chaotic night they all wanted. they helped evelyn score a fake id (though, to their knowledge, she was nineteen, never realizing she was sixteen the whole time) and eventually helped score her smaller drugs like weed. but after having weed and later trying pills, the teenager kept craving more and more, wanting to both escape and feel closer to the music, the people, everything, more more more. which is where things got rough.

first off, it was inevitable that her parents would find out as evelyn was never good with lying. she would tell them she’s going to nyc to network or some bullshit, she would come home the next day clearly looking wrecked, her parents would yell at her, take her car away too. but she’d always find a way back to the city on the weekends. when she wouldn’t come home for days? and even miss days of school? yeah, they were starting to worry the fuck out. also because, evelyn stopped coming home one weekend. she didn’t answer her parents’ messages and truthfully, she felt like she’d be happy never returning back to her old life. which is why she moved in with her club boyfriend at the time at seventeen.

it was a mature decision for sure, but very reckless. and the severity of the situation did not hit her until a year later, when she realized she missed her period. and she wanted to get an abortion, definitely, but honestly a part of her thought maybe this was the plan for her life. that this would give her structure, force her to grow up a bit, and her boyfriend had surprisingly been supportive at this point; the two still being in the honeymoon phase a whole year later. so, at 3:04am on december 3rd, 2014, her beautiful boy charlie was born. and at 8:32pm on july 26th, 2016, her boyfriend left. apparently deciding to spend some time in thailand to ‘figure his shit out’. must be fucking nice.

it stabbed her to her core that this person, who helped define her recent years, was suddenly gone and she had to raise his child all alone at twenty. the bone-crushing pressure she was so successful at escaping for years returned in full again and she wasn’t able to handle it. she decided to contact her ex-boyfriend’s parents, knowing calling her own for advice was not an option and recognizing that the child would grow up in a more emotionally and financially stable environment with them. and since that day, his parents has been charlie’s legal guardians. though, evelyn still makes a trip to the upper east side every weekend to see him.

WANTED CONNECTIONS / OTHER

i have a page HERE with like four ideas but lets def plot and figure out our own thing too ayooo <3

also lmk if you want me to give you a rundown of the bio since it’s long :~)

#evelyn.bio

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bionicdragonguardian1 · 4 years

Text

Ranma 2/4

Part 3; Final: chapter 26-38

After this it’s on to good and proper timeline deliberation

These two are honest-to-God morons and I want to punch them in the face

*sigh* Ranma…

Y’know I almost had hope that this differed in the manga

Guess not

I DO NOT approve of alienation

However, getting emotional character development out of Ranma is like pulling teeth

So alienate away

Emotional Oof

THANK YOU!

*chuckles* Ryoga, you’re great

BREATHE

He’s dying don’t kill him early

FINALLY!

Ooo

didn’t see that coming

*tightly* I’m fine

okay, Ranma, you know what to do

*heaves giant ass sigh* RANMA!

*screams*

Look I know no chill, kay, shut up

RIP my shipping heart

*sighs* FUCK!

Not gonna lie, I’m Ranma

Careful, Akane might kill you

And with the way Hinako’s acting she deserves it

I’m actually with Nabiki on this one

I love how Ranma is rolling with this

Ooo that’s gonna sting

Those 3 are terrifying, honestly

Hinako, your timing is awful

STOP USING RANMA AS YOUR LANDING PAD SHAMPOO!

Ranma blubbering hurts WAY more than I thought it would

Ranma, you’re digging your own grave here

Someone call me when he learns his lesson FINALLY

*cringes* Yikes, tbh I can’t tell if she’s playing him

Ranma you shit

WHY

Why is it always Kuno?!

Oof this gonna hurt w Kuno’s understanding of Ranma’s curse

Expect all Ranma and Kuno- especially Ranko- interactions to hurt really bad

Ukyo, you’re an idiot

You too Ryoga

Honestly

Alright, that’s funny

Ukyo, you’re lucky they’re dumb

Oh God, you two are SO wrong, but I love it

Aaand what does that say about you two Akane?

Ooo I could make this really mean

It’s SO tempting

Well, that went nowhere

Poor Ranma

So many trans vibes, honestly

*screams* HOW? Who? WHY?!

Wha-wha-what?!?!

Ouch, that’s gonna sting SO bad

heheh

Ouch, that hurt surprisingly more than I thought it would

Further proof that Genma SUCKS

Just this once, gimme soft

PLEASE

Close enough…

Okay, this fight was AWESOME!!

*sigh* Why am I even surprised by Genma’s reasoning anymore?

If Ranma cries, Imma cry

Excuse me while I go scream

I literally don’t even know what to do with this

Chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on, I guess

okay, the end was funny though

Soun, is that bird didn’t look out of it’s gourd I’d believe you

*Chucks whole birdhouse* “fair”

A+ pic of Ranma

In his defense, he can argue something else, they just won’t listen cuz Shampoo won’t go with the truth

Alright, so Shampoo is smart, but with Ranma she’s an idiot

Wouldn’t the smart idea be to send Ranma AND Akane in with all 4 objects at the start?

Ok, Shampoo Sleep-Fighting is funny

Ranma is so underwhelmed that he’s just not even caring anymore

How Kasumi the scariest one to be possessed

Alright, anything with Nabiki on the cover worries me

Holy Shit he played Nabiki

I’d be impressed if I wasn’t annoyed to hell

Let’s all be glad right now that Genma never mastered this

Where do you think he would’ve sent it?

My inclination’s the Tendos

If nothing else I’m impressed by Nabiki

Now play this man like a kazoo PLEASE

When Ranma lectures you on how you’re acting like kids, you done fucked up

I’m with Ranma

Are you sure Akane?

Cuz I’m not

Heheheheh

Thems the breaks Ranma

You deserve it

Holy Shit Ryoga, nice

Now, I understand that Pigs are your life, but you might be dead

And honestly, I don’t blame him

Okay, that one’s gonna hurt

No matter how you slice it

Morality, Ranma, I know you have it

I hate this

Ok, that was uncalled for

Ranma he’s gonna kill you

Also WTF are you thinking?!?

Oof

Wait… what?

I’m officially concerned

Ok, I actually kinda like this interlude

Akane… seriously, trust is a thing you need to learn

One would think she’d learn…

Okay, that is actually creepy

I would too Ranma, I would too

Jesus fucking Christ, you suck Happosai

LetRanmaMeetHisMomCOVID19!

Gemma you shit

Happosai, go fuck yourself

Nevermind, don’t let him meet her, this is ridiculous

“Where’s the fridge?” “Akane wanted it”

I shouldn’t’ve laughed as hard as I did

*sigh* I just want Ranma to have ONE normal parental figure in his life, is that too much to ask?!

I already hate this idea

He comes back Imma scream

Since when?

On what planet does penpal = boyfriend/girlfriend?

Ryoga, PICK ONE!

I’m getting annoyed with you Ryoga, which sucks cuz you’re one of my faves

Ryoga, how are you this gullible?

You deserved that Ranma

I would wish the fate of being Kuno’s wife on no one

Ever

Congrats Ukyo you’ve actually made me freak out

I don’t appreciate it

At all

*shudders*

Oh this is SO weird

Of y’all keep making comments like this WHY do you keep trying?!

Nevermind it’s Hiroshi and Daisuke, they’re in the know

I’m going to say it again

AKANE LEARNS TO SWIM LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!

This is why you don’t buy cheap food people

I can’t lie, I’ve been waiting for Akane to get possessed

That moment when the ghost is honestly being a bit too sensitive

Actually, he didn’t, so shut up

I could make the Hawaiian thing so Explicit

But I won’t, cuz y’know consequences and stuff

I’m not going to ask how Ashura drowned at Josenkyo

Taro, quit being a dick, you turn into a Minatour-like thing

God he’s dumb

When Crazy and Crazy wanna duke it out, Ranma’s got the right idea

Excuse me, what?!

Ooo, now you’ve made Akane mad, run

Wtf is wrong with you, Kodachi, he’s literally unconscious!

I think that was almost character development?

I can’t tell

Ranma should not look that good in a suit

Whoa, she actually like… said it

Damn

Everyone’s got 4 sec to start treating Ranma like a person

Oof, right in his pride

Akane, I need you to stop being cute for 3 sec so I can focus

Yeah, I ain’t making it dormant

Ranma, I can’t tell if this is sexism or jealousy, either way it looks ugly on you

“At least he’s scaring the cats” harsh Kasumi

Okay, so I’m 90% sure it’s just jealousy, which better but still ugh

Ranma, you can be kickass when Akane is too

Ya goddamn moron

I’m going to beat that into him

There will probs be some angst about that

Not gonna lie

Look I’m good at it

Sorry

Ranma, if you want to get MURDERED that’s the way to do it

Smooth one, idiot

Called out

You better do this right or I swear, I’ll kill you myself, Ranma

I believe that is a fail

Of epic proportions, congrats

You NEED to learn to keep your mouth shut Soun

Awww

But he’s not lying!

Ranma, just run, she’s actually pissed this time

FUCKING RUN!

Alright, Akane, NO

You’re playing into the patriarchy

Oh, right… 80’s...

I’m changing that!!

Oh My God PLEASE tell me Ranma gets deaged!! Please!

Ranma’s got more patience for assholes than I do

Jesus

Hah

He deserved that

Part of me wants to see Kasumi actually get pissed off

YES!!

I LOVE degaging plots!

Ranma, I want you to math that one out, just a little

YES!

I am LIVING for this!

There is so much wrong with that sentence Kodachi

Ok, that was a little too cruel Akane

Someone either get Mousse recognized as Legally Blind

Or someone get him glasses that work!

Either one, but PLEASE

I just got a “draw me like one of your french girls” joke from a horse

Even though the widespread joke is LITERALLY at least 30 years later than this image

OOF

Ice Cold

We’re running out of chapters for her to find out

She better have a canon way of doing it otherwise I’m gonna be really mean with it…

Bean… Gun… Plant…

Eh Seen weirder

Aww Valentine’s Day chapter!

Yes!

Poor Ranma

These two are blind to each other

Heheh

Aww

I love these dorks

Heheh oops, busted

I still just find the principal an honest annoyance

Wait… when did Ranma start wearing a school uniform?

Congrats Miss Hinako!

I just now realized that I’m going to have write someone who is ok with having a female chest

Gag me with a spoon

Bleh

I’m bad at that

I really do want to give Ranma clothes that do actually fit his female form

Ranma needs to look at the terms and conditions of good curse

Cuz this is getting creative

Uh oh

Ranma you have a brain, please use it

Hehe, she’s doing her body laundry

Oh shit

THANK YOU SOUN!

Fucking Happosai

Why are you the actual worst!

Oh shit

Goddammit Nodoka

That one was ALL on you

I expected this from Nabiki, but wtf Nodoka?!

Happosai you twisted fuck

Heheheh alright that’s funny

If nothing else Shampoo is sneaky

WHY is that the only way to undo it?!

Poor Akane she is so lost

Aw, poor Ryoga

Definitely not, Akane, but thank you for posing that question

Thank you for calling him out on his ego

This would be hilarious to see this before anyone had any bit of a clue about Ranma’s two forms

Also, Ranma, you need to keep her safe from the Kunos

*sigh* Akane, you’re wrong

Ooo, not good

And that is what no self control looks like folks

What is with that ending?

And this is what manipulation look like folks

Also, y’know, robbing someone blind

I’m assuming this is Konatsu and I love them already

I’m using they/them cuz I’m unsure of what pronouns to use

Y’know I thought the Cinderella thing was a joke, turns out I was wrong

I do not understand Konatsu’s thought process w Ukyo at all

Also, can you not knock them out?

I am forgetting the name of that one Hero from Supergirl but if my understanding Konatsu is correct I’m DEFINITELY going to do that

Yeah, that’s NOT how that’s gonna go over

Okay, can we all agree that the trick Kuno used on Ranma is HORRIBLE, right?

Wholeass mood for Ranma

Like you two need to shut up

I just want Ranma to wear a sun shirt and trunks to the beach ONCE

Ryoga… how are you so lost that you came up through the ground?

Ranma, how are you both a dick and a good friend at the same time?

Just tell me How on Earth did Akari justify the hot water for Ryoga with revealing that he’s Pchan

I’d like to think that’d be something they wouldn’t skip over

No questions, just punches a grave

Why does that grave hit back?

Honestly Nodoka almost finding is stressing me out

I could be SO angsty with the Neko-ken Fear thing

Someone tell me not to I’m that much of an asshole

So glad that she’s apparently gonna learn bc I would’ve been SO mean

God, Genma you actually suck

Oh, thank God she’s not too smart

The fact that he’s 300% ready to die is actually depressing

That was actually quite touching

If we ignore the way Ranma phrasing that is just plain wrong

Uhm… what?

C-can she do that?

I hope not

God, you two are so dumb!

Is her definition of “manly” emotionless?!

Bitch, have a heart!

Oh God make them ALL leave! ALL OF THEM!

You feel? You said “you’re leaving”

Ranma, the fact that you didn’t put that together I can’t help you Like my dad says “I can’t fix stupid”

The fact that he feels the need to run screaming from his own house…

Nabiki, WHY

I’m convinced at this point that there is something Nabiki HATES about Ranma and that’s why she’s making his life a living hell

Cuz you do realize at least ⅓ of his problems are because she told someone something that was private

I can’t tell if that’s an insult or a backhanded comment

Either way, RUDE

I can’t tell, is that Konatsu or is that Tsubasa?

Must go back and check cuz Akane’s comment about “trasvestite and a homosexual” confused me since Ranma mentioned being “the first male kunoichi”But then who HAS TO BE Tsubasa says they’re a straight guy

*sigh*

Yep, nope, that’s Konatsu

My understanding was that Konatsu was like actually trans in canon

Apparently I mixed that up

I’m making it canon

MtF Konatsu

Bisexual Konatsu

One of these days someone is going to teach people to cook before assuming they know what they’re doing

Seriously It’s not that hard

Did they seriously just try to marry an unconscious Akane to Ranma?!

What The Fuck?!

Aww, she’s cute

Ryoga has a bad sense of direction, but he’s never missed before…

Okay, that’s a little strange

Why is she hatching?

Poor Mousse

Lol, that was so sweet until Ranma was dumb

It’s still sweet, who am I kidding

“Do I look like I wear Totoro underwear” oh that’s GOLDEN

Le shit

Firstly, Genma is still and idiot

Second, how is he already in Moscow?!

Third, why do I find this hilarious

Oh fuck

YES Kick her ass Akane!

I’m confused

Ok, was heralding back to the first chapter intentional?

Why does he have the staff in the bath?

Ok, I THINK I know what’s happening here…

Oof Can you two leave?

Ok, I was DEAD wrong

Wait…

If she…

If the DROWNED AKANE Imma commit murder

Damn, if you wanna piss off Ranma that’s how you do it

I don’t know why anyone would think pissing him off is smart

Oh, thank God, she’s okay

What is with this kid?

Why is he such a pain in the ASS?!

So I know she’s not dead

Unless SEVERAL DOZEN Fanfics have lied to me

Which is entirely possible since they were all listed as AUs

Uhm… Ranma… you okay?

Good, get him out cuz he’s clearly in shock

This hurts

Okay, hate to be the one who complains that Akane’s not dead, but that doesn’t track

At all

Can I rescience this?

Please?

Am I going to be an ass about it, probably, but it’s me no one should be surprised by that in any way

“Honored and crazy guest” I mean, accurate

Alright, Shampoo you’ve got exactly 1 chance

Then I’ll maybe apologize for calling you names constantly

Oh I am gonna be such an asshole in this scene

Also extend it some

Oh, God I could be such a dick

I’ll restrain

I’ll just write one-shots instead

Mousse do the right thing

You have a Moral Compass I know that!

“Anytime THIS YEAR!” Damn the witty quips

Yeah, but you won morally

That’s what’s important

Why the Scooby-Doo line?

Go Ranma!

Ok, so that comment about Ranma basically fighting a God is NOT an overstatement

Noted

Congrats Ranma you made me Google a word

Turns out it is a word that had its height of use in the 80s

Neat

Explains why I had no clue what it meant

Someone shoot those damn chicken brains OUT OF THE SKY!

“Only rocks”, rocks Ryoga just confirmed are 3 Tons

*sigh* I’m gonna have to physics the shit out of that

Joy

I cannot tell you the amount my heart dropped when I saw a full color double spread

Jesus Christ

DAMN

You’re gonna make me cry, dammit

Aww

YAY!

Heheh poor Ranma

Chill, hun, you’re good

Aww he’s tiny!

WHAT IS WITH YOU 2?!

STOP trying to marry your kids while they’re unconscious!

I’m not crying you are!

*tightly* I’m fine

Kodachi LET IT GO

Literally everyone else too! I hate you all

Just so it’s on the record I’m pissed

Ok, so “back to the start” is definitely an oversimplification because Akane knows Ranma loves her Ranma knows she knows

Akane! Your turn!

Ooo, IDEA!

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dontyoudarejudgemesworld · 4 years

Text

Another one already, but only because I’m stuck in bed with a cold.

So here is Chapter two of The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far. Once again you can click here if you want to read it on AO3. Not too much more to say about it, besides in general I hope to get one or two chapters up a week but wont make any promises. Real life is chaos and I have most of the fic written however it currently resides in a handful of note books so transcribing it is the name of the game. And with that allow me to fling yet another chapter of an insignificant fic int yawning void that is the internet

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The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far Chapter Two: One Conversation

“Soos watch the Shack. I’m going out,” Stan barked as he headed out the door. The young man’s surprised but excited affirmative barely registered as he climbed into the Diablo and started it up. This was insane, it was noon on a Saturday in peak tourist season he should be leading tours and fleecing rubes. He shouldn't even be bothering with the woman. As far as she and the rest of the world were concerned Stanley was dead. The woman had already given him a free pass. She’d told him she’d understand if he didn’t come looking for her and bowed out. He had too many things on his plate; he had a lie to maintain to the world while trying to figure out the damned portal. She’d said he’d never see her again and he honestly believed her.

And that was why he was doing this wasn’t it? Because he couldn’t just leave well enough alone. He was far too curious, he’d always wanted kids when he was younger. He’d secretly wanted the whole shebang; a sweet little wife, a few kids, a house down the street from Sixer and his research. Of course that had derailed when he’d been kicked out and he realized he wasn’t exactly fatherly material. Worthless just like the old man said.

In retrospect he should have considered he might have a kid out there somewhere. He had spent many night is beds that weren't his own in search of warmth or some kind of fleeting companionship. And while he had normally taken steps to prevent such an outcome he had slipped up a few times. And with a list of one night stands a long as a New York phone book the odds had stacked against him. Still it hadn't really been a thought until last night when Stanley Pine’s illegitimate daughter came knocking on his door. His daughter.

The thought was still like a cold bucket of water every time. At first he’d tried to figure out how it wasn’t true. The test had been wrong after all paternity test were only 99.9% positive. She didn’t look that much like his mother her eyes had been brown like Ford’s and his. And the fact that she had six fingers…that was just a coincidence. Yeah, and pigs could fly while singing opera. He’d tried all night to find a lie convincing enough, but had failed miserably. Turned out 40 years of lying about everything wasn’t even enough practice when his own child was staring into his face.

And how the hell had she even found him? Seriously he hadn't gone by Stanley Pines for years especially when it came to women. Couldn’t risk dragging them into the shit show that was his life from the poor decision to spend a night or two with him. Yet somehow she’d not only managed to find out who he was but to track his ‘brother’ down in the middle of nowhere with proof. How the hell had she managed that? What kind of ‘friends’ did she have that obtaining federal evidence was possible? Was that even legal?

Not that she looked like she would have a problem if it wasn’t. While he knew that reading a book by its cover was never a good idea she looked rough. It wasn’t just her appearance either. There had been a hardness to her eyes that he knew too well came from years of running in dark alleys and knowing all the wrong people. And her voice had an edge to it beneath that southern drawl she had. The kind of edge that spoke of slit throats, gun fights, and darkness.

Pulling into the Twin Bed’s parking lot he spotted her bike in front of room six. He was sure there was some kind of irony or poetry or whatever in that. Shifting into park he took a deep breath.

One conversation to get some answers. That was all. He needed to know how she found him, after all if she’d dome it maybe someone else could. Sure, she thought he was Ford, but still his past coming back to haunt him in anyway was the last thing he need. That was why he was here…for answers.

Wow… a lie he almost believed.

“You can do this, Stanley. In and out,” he said as he switched off the car, but he couldn’t bring himself to get out. This was insane. He should just leave the woman be, he didn’t need more complications. Besides what could he give her besides trouble. Shaking himself his hand raised to start the car but the door to room six opened and he froze. His daughter stepped out shoving unruly black curls out of her face as she squinted up at the sun. Shaking her head she pulled something out of her pocket and lit a cigarette. Slouching against the wall she rolled her shoulders and stared off into the woods and Stan knew he couldn’t leave. Groaning he climbed out of the car and slammed the door causing her head to snap over to his direction. He froze for a split second feeling her eyes boring into him.

Smoothing his face into his mask he strode towards her calm and collected even as his brain screamed for him to run the other direction. Twenty seven steps is what it took to reach her. For a moment they just stood staring at each other before she exhaled a cloud of smoke away from him. “Well, if I was a betting woman I’d have lost,” she said with a smirk, “So…uhhh nice day, huh?”

“Uhhhh yeah real…uhhhh sunny,” he replied rubbing the back of his neck nervously. A heavy silence descended as they stared at each other. A few awkward moments passed before she stubbed the cigarette out on her boot and cleared her throat. “Look I think I’m gonna need a beer for this. You?” she said cocking an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I think you’re right,” he said and relief flashed on her face and he let out the breath he’d been holding. “Well come on in,” she said as she opened the door to her room. It was small and tidy with a twin bed and a dressed with an old TV perched on top of it. In the corner was a small table with two chairs and a mini fridge. Walking over she pulled two bottles out and popped the tops before sitting down and sliding one over towards him. Taking a seat he nodded his gratitude as he picked it up as she took a long sip of her own. Following suit he stared at her wondering how he had missed how much she looked like Ma. “So I’m sure you have a million questions so go ahead and ask away,” she said and he considered where to start.

“Sure, so uhhh how’d you find me? I mean Stanley wasn’t exactly…,” he trailed off causing her to smile.

“Forth coming with his identity,” she finished for him chuckling, “Well yeah it took a while. He told my mother his name was Stetson Pinesworth,” she admitted, “But I’m a professional P.I. so I was able to follow the strings. Once I chased down his real name it was relatively easy to find you and your older brother Sherman. I considered not going any further but…,” she shrugged, “I thought y’all might want to know that Stanley had some small part of him out there even though it seems like…he was a bit of a black sheep so to say. And I chose to come find you instead of Sherman because I figured with you being a genius and all you could make a call on if Sherman and his kid needed to know. Plus I admit I was curious of what my father looked like and since you’re twins…,” she told him with a shrug and and awkward smile as she took another drink. Letting out a huff of laughter at that he grinned back. He noticed that her words were more precise then yesterday and that her accent seemed to all but disappear. So this is her professional voice, he thought taking another small sip.

“Well sorry it couldn’t be more appealing kid. I wish I could say you got lucky and took after your mother but truth is you look like our Ma when she was young,” he said and she laughed putting him a bit more at ease.

“T’ain’t that bad. It takes a special kind a looks to rock a fez,” she added with a smirk a bit of her drawl slipping through. “Hey it sells the Mr. Mystery a bit more,” he replied, “So yur ma was…,” he asked and she scowled slightly.

“Mary Pisano. She wasn’t…the motherly type. Drink and drugs were way more interesting then her kids. Far as I can guess she got her claws into your brother at a bar and had some fun. I wouldn’t judge him too harshly if I were you though she was real good at that sort of thing. Poor sap probably had no idea what he was getting into,” she told him her voice hard and each word sharp, “She doesn’t really matter. By the time I was nine I was in the foster system. So there isn’t really much to know there,” she added and he took the hint that that wasn’t a subject she was real keen on talking about. Taking a drink he tried to remember her mother but the name meant nothing to him. He wished that he could honestly say that she’d been something special to him, one of the ones worth remembering but no. Just another nameless port of comfort in the sea of misery that was his life.

“Yeah, well he was a bit of a hound,” he said quickly taking another drink to cover his own discomfort.

“Like I said I cant blame him. She was beautiful and that can make any man stumble from time to time,” she said with a smile that he returned. For some reason the fact that she seemed to honestly mean those words made him feel a bit relieved that he didn’t recall her mother.

“I suppose that’s right. After all there’s a million stories about men doing dumb shit because of a pretty girl. So you got any questions for me?” he asked and she shrugged.

“I mean yeah a million but I cant really think of them now. Like I said I never really expected you to come ‘round, and I would imagine you cant answer most of them since you ain’t him,” she admitted, “I guess…I really just want to know if he was a good man,” she said after a long moment of consideration. He felt his face fall at that. He wasn’t a good man, he was a liar that sold junk to tourists. And before he’d been…well just about everything except a good man.

“Well…,” he began but she waved her hand to silence him.

“Before you go getting all squirrelly on me I literally have a collection of files on his criminal record. He was a con among other things I know that. But just because he was a criminal doesn't mean that he was a bad man,” she told him and he felt his face twist in confusion causing her to let out a low chuckle, “Look I know that just because someone was a criminal doesn't mean they were all bad. You do what you gotta to survive. So I ain’t askin’ if he was law abidin’ I’m askin’ if he was a good man? If he had a good heart,” she explained and he stared at her mouth slightly agape for a long moment. He’d never though of it like that. Was he a good man? He certainly tried to be but he felt like he’d failed. Sure he’d never hurt anyone he didn’t have to or stolen from people who couldn’t afford it. But still…

“He tried to be,” he said finally, “I mean his heart was in the right place but it always seemed to go wrong. He wanted to make things right for the family but seemed to just fall from one bad situation to the next.I don’t know if that makes him good or not,” he added finally and she nodded.

“I would think it did. I mean my opinion is to judge more by intent not out come generally,” she said with a soft sigh, “The saying is that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but I cant dismiss the intent just because the final destination sucks,” she told him evenly They lapsed into silence for a few minutes before she finished her drink and rose to get another. He watched her move to the fridge considering her. It was strange to him that she seemed so nonpulse about the whole thing. What kind of life had she led that she could calmly dismiss his criminal record so easily?

“I see you had your extra finger removed,” she said finally breaking the silence and pulling him from his thoughts. Looking up at her he realized that she was looking at the ‘surgical scars’ he’d given himself after the funeral. He’d done it because he was tired of wearing those damned gloves all the time around the family.

“Uhhh….yeah. They were starting to lock up and I figured it would be better to do it before they got real bad,” he said quickly hoping that she didn’t see right through the lie. She seemed to be able to read him, and he guessed if she was a PI she would have to be able to tell a lie when she heard one.

“Makes since. I mean I only have it on my left hand but the docs warned me that it was prone to arthritis. Figure I’ll deal with it if it happens until then,” she shrugged and he was a bit relieved that he had chosen the right excuse. “So I gotta say you’re pleasant enough to talk to but I’m thinkin’ maybe I ain’t ready for your brother and his family just yet,” she admitted suddenly and he blinked in surprise.

“What? Why?” he asked wondering if he’d done something wrong.

“It isn’t you,” she laughed seeming to read his feelings again, “It’s me. I’ve always been out on my own. Which was fine. I’m a big girl, but I’m finding talking to you is…a lot. His family seems pretty close knit where as you seem a bit more of a loner…another reason I decided to talk to you. The idea of being introduced to any more of you right now is…Unsettling. If you even think that he would care,” she told him with a grin.

“Shermie is a big softy, he’d love to have you around,” he assured he quickly, “I suppose you could say he’s the sentimental one out of us. But yeah I can see where you’re coming from,” he admitted thinking about it for a moment. Shermie had always been the glue the bound them together. He’d always made sure to stay in touch and insisted that Stan had a relationship with his nephew and the twins (to the point that violence had been threatened if he didn’t show up at family gatherings at least once in a while). After he’d faked his own death Sherman had seemed even more hell bent to keep keep the family together, if he found out that his ‘dead’ little brother had a daughter she’d be dragged into the fold kicking and screaming if necessary. And when Stan considered what she’d just said he could only imagine how uncomfortable that would be for her.

She gave him a grateful smile and opened her mouth to speak only to be cut off by her stomach letting out a loud gurgling sound. He almost laughed out loud as she pressed her hand lightly to her stomach her cheeks coloring a bit like a guilty child.

“Sorry, I haven’t eaten in..,” she paused appearing to think about it for a moment, “…a while? Time has gotten away from me lately,” she finished lamely. Cocking an eyebrow he gave an amused smile as he shook his head.

“Day drinking on an empty stomach, huh?” he said rhetorically as he stood up, ”Not a bright idea there kid. Come on. I’ll show you the best place in town,” he offered,”We can continue awkwardly staring at each other over food,” he added and she let out a bark of laughter that broke the tension he hadn’t realized had descended on them.

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neshabeingchildish · 5 years

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I know that the chapter is short, but also, the couple of folk that are still here are pretty understanding and I told y’all, I haven’t been well. But, I did wanna push something out for y’all and hopefully get my joys flowing again. Thanks for reading. As always, Tumblr changed my format. And as usual, I don’t feel like changing it on the post. 😄

Wedding Plans

Charlotte was going to tough it out and let Jasper give her a tattoo for her 21st birthday anyway, so getting it done a little sooner (and now it was more significant than whatever she was probably going to decide on), was great. And, she could now say that she’s had it done and never has to do it again. She did not have a high threshold of pain, like Jasper did. It was only a few minutes, but she felt like she was being tortured and she was not a fan of it, in any way, shape or form. But, she liked the way that Jasper spoke really soothing to her while she whimpered and kissed her on her nose and asked her if she wanted him to continue. He was so damn sweet and affectionate to her.

Jasper was the type of partner who, without fail, every month whenever her period showed up (first of all, he downloaded the same calendar app that she used to keep up with hers and any changes); he brought her supplies and catered to her, even if she didn’t particularly “feel bad” during the week. He monitored the dogs, in case she wanted to keep them cuddled beside her, or in case she did not want them anywhere near her. Periods could be tumultuous for her sometimes and he tried to pay extra attention and anticipate her needs when she was going through it. This particular one, she wanted to be positive and encouraged, but her body decided that it was going to try the exact opposite route.

Despite being exhausted with his internship, class and everything else on his plate, Jasper made time to prepare an extra special care package. He had gotten some tips from Adanna on some remedies and she had prepared him some of her favorite go to concoctions and mailed them to him. He put the glass jars and pretty bottles into the basket that he used every month for her care package and went to her apartment. He let himself in, of course, and she was asleep, so he was able to work in silence. The dogs were on the patio, which was gated and had their dog house and feeding bowls outside, set apart from the little table and chairs that they usually sat at whenever they had an outside date night. Having the peace of the place at his disposal, Jasper lit candles in each room, prepared tea, started on breakfast and set her basket and the card he’d gotten her on her dining room table, a bouquet of her favorite flowers and a set of “period crystals” (Amethyst, Moonstone, Obsidian, Quantum Quattro) that he had gotten her, but she had yet to actually use.

She got out of bed whenever she smelled food and limped into the room, ready to have tea and medicine, because her entire lower body was aching. “Morning, Babe,” she said, and kissed his tricep from behind, because that was the easiest thing for her to reach. He loved all those little random place kisses she gave him.

“Morning, Beautiful. Have a seat. Breakfast is almost ready.”

She smiled and sat down, “I can’t believe that you made time to do all of this, this time. You have a lot to do, Jasper!”

“Not so much that I’m gonna stop loving you the way that I love you,” he said and shrugged his shoulders. She gushed and he leaned down to give her a kiss on the lips. She quickly allowed it and backed away. She hadn’t brushed her teeth yet. “Anyway, I’ve gotta eat too, why not here, with you?” He presented a plate to her and sat down with his own. Charlotte looked at the time on her phone. If she took some medicine now, she should be functional enough to go to class with minimal to no pain. After breakfast, they washed up and headed out.

That week was difficult for him, because he definitely wanted to be sure to take care of her, but he also had a lot of important things to do. Classes in the morning, internship in the afternoon, sleeping until late, moonlighting at the tattoo parlour, and a nighttime nap until morning. “How do you get a chance to work out with this current schedule? You won’t be ready to play if you don’t keep up with your exercise.”

“Baby, I don’t think that I have time to keep up with sports. This internship is kicking my ass. I wouldn’t even be at the parlour, if I didn’t need the money.” He looked exhausted and she hated it. “Not only do I need to survive, but we’ve got a wedding coming up. I mean, I don’t know when, but I know that they cost money.”

“We don’t have to do anything fancy. We can just have our closest friends and a cake!”

“I’ve been waiting my whole life to find somebody who would be willing to marry me and you think I’m gonna commemorate it with “a cake,” Charlotte?”

“I just don’t want you breaking your back for something that isn’t necessary. Jasper, we’re as in love as any married couple, already. I’m committed and I believe that you are too. All we need is a legal contract and witnesses that we care about… and yes, a cake. A Charlotte cake, for me. I always wanted to have that as my wedding cake, even though it isn’t usually made for such a special event.”

“We can have Charlotte cake for everybody,” he said, making notes in his Wedding Planner… which she just noticed.

“Hey, what you got there, F Sized?”

“Our wedding planner. I’m putting all of our notes in it, separated by these little tabs, and I’m gonna get with Henry on the best ideas so that we can make it happen. Oh! He’s calling!” Jasper cheered and answered the phone, “Yo, yo, yo!!!” Jasper yelled and got up and left the room. Charlotte sighed and texted a group chat that she had recently created, titled “Matriarchal Matrimony Advice,” including herself, Rosemary Page, Jasper’s Mom Pansy, and Adanna Blackfoot.

“Hey. Jasper is running himself ragged and not listening to my sound advice. How do I get him to think it’s his idea to take a break?”

Jasper’s Mom: You would know before I would. If you figure it out, let ME know.

Mom: Let him do what he feels like he needs to do and just back him up whenever he falls short. No need to manipulate or trick. Just, let him do him. He most likely knows his limits better than you do. Even if he isn’t that responsible, he knows that he’s got you to think about now.

Adanna: My advice. Just let him know that it is really important to you that he takes some time for himself and gets some rest. You want your lover at his best and it makes you happy whenever he can be. To be at his best, he’ll need to get some rest.

Charlotte: Thanks Moms!

Charlotte’s birthday was nearby and even though Jasper hadn’t posted a video in a while, he wanted to be sure to do a Birthday Tribute episode for her. It would probably be the last one that he had a chance to create, with his schedule, so he wanted to check in with his fanbase to let them know and also to celebrate her, at the same time. He had done an engagement announcement video, but it was basically a couple of minutes in which he cheered about her saying yes, told the brief proposal story, and got her to show off the ring that he gave her. The outpouring of support was fantastic. He lived for it and hoped to see as much or more whenever he made a video for her birthday.

Now, Charlotte was trying to keep things lowkey for her birthday. Yes, she was turning 21 and that was supposed to be monumental, but with the exception of her adding wine to her diet, she didn’t think any real changes were happening in her life because of the birthday. The biggest real change that she had ahead of her was becoming the next Mrs. Dunlop… Or Page-Dunlop, or Pagelop… “Hey, what’s your opinion on last names when married?” She asked at dinner.

“My opinion, or what I want?”

“Those should be the same thing.”

“My opinion is that everyone should have whatever name they choose to have. But… I… do want you to take my name… Not as like ownership or anything! I just want us to have the same last name.”

“You could take my name, or we could do one of those combined last names, or both have both last names and have them hyphenated…”

“Okay. I wasn’t tryin’ to pressure you. You asked, so I answered…”

“I know! I’m just… I never thought about it because I never planned on getting married and now that I’m planning on getting married, I have to actually think about it. Plus, a wedding… A ring! I don't know where to start on any of it, or when I'll have the time."

"I'll have the time. Summer's in less than 2 months and you know I won’t have classes,” he said, not really seeming very worried about it as he teetered on his phone.

“You’ll have the time to do what… select your own ring? Aren’t I supposed to do that?” She checked the Clueless Bride App and said, “It’s on MY checklist!”

“I can pick one out and just tell you what I found, although, it really doesn’t matter to me what ring you get. The being married to you part is the prize.” She curled her lips and gave him a doubtful look. There was no way his sensitive ass wouldn’t feel a way if she didn’t get him some kind of exquisite, stylish, and probably expensive ring to wear for the rest of his life and she was not buying what he was selling right now. He smiled, “Just, do your best. I love you.” She folded her arms. Jasper was WAY too used to getting greatness out of her for her to be able to skate by with his wedding ring.

“Okay,” she said, and rolled her eyes, still knowing better.

Whenever Jasper pulled her into the show for her birthday, she was sheepish, being on camera with Jasper’s audience. They were… not the same kind of people she spent much time around and sometimes said weird things. Everything from too strong of an interest in their sex life, to trying to push children out of their relationship, to… just weird things that didn’t even make sense to her. But, he wanted it to be a treat and was so excited that it was her first birthday as his fiancee and future wife that she went along with it all.

They made the video pretty early in the day. She was glad to have already been awake and doing things around her apartment whenever he got up and insisted that a day of magic was ahead of them. Charlotte had gotten a few gifts via mail and several of Jasper’s fans sent stuff to his PO Box for her, too. All that she had asked her loved ones and associates for were engagement/wedding donations. She was accepting funds, coupons, gift cards, and contracts for goods and services. If someone’s aunt was a baker, she wanted to get in touch with them. If a friend was a musician on the side, she wanted to talk to them. She really just needed to know that people who cared enough about her to want to give her anything would just give her help with this one thing that she had never thought about and was totally unprepared for. All she really had ever considered was her dress! And that was because of her interest in fashion, probably.

Adanna offered to be her “road to marriage” spiritual counselor, do wedding and house blessings and make jewelry, if she wanted. She totally accepted all of those things that she hadn’t thought about a moment before they were mentioned.

Henry told her that he’d search for Jasper’s ring for her. “I know ya basic!” He’d typed on her post about accepting charity and assistance on the wedding for her birthday. She just thanked him and didn’t even argue with that insult. It wasn’t worth it when she needed help with the ring.

Patina had told her that if she needed any help with the dress, she would be more than willing to help out. She was always SUPER VOCALLY supportive of Charlotte and Jasper, possibly out of relief that Jasper stopped bothering her at long last, some time shortly before he gained an interest in Charlotte. “The dress, I actually know exactly HOW I want it, but I’m not sure about how much it’ll cost me and stuff like that.”

Piper: Make a Dress Creation Committee.

Charlotte: Tell me what that is.

Piper: You, me and other people of your choice that you trust will be a group that helps find material and seamstresses and stuff to make sure that your design is made into reality and whenever you can’t personally handle stuff, somebody in the committee can pick up the slack.

Henry: What, like a dress making village?

Piper: Yeah. Just like that.

Henry: I’m down.

Piper:... No. It’s like bridesmaids and stuff.

Henry: Yeah, that’s me. The And Stuff Man.

Charlotte: (At) Adanna, Mom, Jasper’s Mom, Auntie Cohort, availability??? (Grimace emoji)

Jasper’s Mom: I have a lot going on, but just keep me in the loop.

Cohort: I might not be available for dress things, but I still have a lot of stuff in storage that you might be able to repurpose. Never wound up getting rid of a lot of our things.

Rosemary: You know good and well your mama is on board to help with your wedding. ANY mother should be on board to help with her child’s wedding!

Jasper’s Mom: Let me know when everyone meets. I’ll do my best to be there.

RAY offered to throw an engagement party for her (and Jasper), for her birthday. She didn’t know why she would NEED an engagement party. Everyone was tagged for the proposal. Everyone knew that they were engaged! She told him that he could use whatever resources he would have used for an engagement party to redirect towards wedding things. “Because you were very ungrateful about my generous offer, I am going to instead throw Jasper a bachelor party!”

“Good luck. The frat bros will throw him a bigger, better, MANLIER one.”

“How dare you!”

Henry made an effort to be in town more in the summer. He and Jasper were working on the wedding plans, even though they hadn’t decided on a date yet, and fuel for the Man Copter was less than affordable, but the drive took so much longer and he also loved that he was now able to fly the copter whenever he wanted to.

“So… How’s the work schedule turning out?” Henry wondered, setting his things down in Jasper’s room. The dogs were there, because Charlotte had classes and Jasper just preferred that they were locked inside all day when she did.

“It’s gettin’ there. I was more concerned about this issue with my major.”

“What’s the issue with your major?”

“I still haven’t picked it yet.”

“That’s a major issue.”

“Yeah…” Jasper agreed, then they both laughed a little, before he elaborated, “Whenever Char first started talking to me about it, at the end of sophomore year, we were just getting back good and I didn’t want to make things uneasy. So, I told her that I was gonna do business, and minor in finances.”

“That sounds like a good plan.”

“But, I think I wanna major in economics and minor in finances. I think I actually want to get a business degree and an economics degree, but I’m at the end of my junior year and my advisor is needing me to decide like yesterday, more like last year, and now I want to double major? I can’t. I don’t have the time or the credits. But, also… I can’t let Charlotte know that I didn’t do what I was supposed to. She’ll lose confidence in me. I’m supposed to be marrying her in the near future. She’s gotta be able to trust that I’m gonna do what I say, or she’s gonna chicken out.”

“Maybe, but she’s also gotta be able to trust that when things didn’t go as planned or plans change, that you’ll be honest with her. Charlotte cares so much about you, she’ll help you through it. She’ll really be pissed when it inevitably comes out and you didn’t let her know.”

Jasper sighed and nodded, “You’re right.”

“So… What are you gonna do about your major?”

“I’m… gonna double major in Economics and Business. The internship should help me to be able to only have to add an additional year to my college career, if that. I’m getting a lot of experience and stuff from working there. If I get hired on, after this… I could make a lot of money. I’ll make more with the right degree. I’ll make enough to start a family, and if I work hard, after a little while, I can make enough to be the man of the house. Charlotte will only work because she wants to, but she won’t have to, and for me… that’ll be refreshing. She works so hard, Henry. Like, ALL of the time. She hasn’t taken a break since we got here. She works nonstop and her peers are so crappy to her. She EARNS their respect, but they refuse to give it. Meanwhile, I just show up to class and there’s excitement in it. Everybody thinks that I’m working too hard and stressing out too much, but she’s really the one doing all that and she’s not even having a good time. You know how skilled she is. I caught her crying because one of her supervisors talked to her like she was an idiot for 15 minutes, in front of a group and even though she remained calm in front of everyone and explained clearly what her position was, several of them basically told her that she should have just shut her mouth and it would have been over sooner. She’s so emotional all of the time, but can’t show it, because she’ll be criticised and ridiculed and all of her hard work would be discredited, in their eyes.”

“None of those things even make sense!”

“Yeah, but that’s her life! And, she’s wanted to work for so long in this field and she tries to remain strong and still do her job, but honestly, to me, it seems like everyone tries to beat her down. I hate it. I’m gonna do whatever I have to do to get her to where she knows that IF she doesn’t want to put up with that shit, she won’t have to.”

“The bad thing is that knowing Char, she’ll keep it up, just to prove that everybody is wrong about her.”

“Most likely. What I’m hoping for is that she accepts that no matter what you do, some people, you just won’t get to acknowledge your greatness. Even I know that there’s just no pleasing some people, and I have a fun sized brain!”

Henry laughed about this, but turned his attention to a vision board. “Dude, is this what I think it is?” Jasper glanced over. “Is this one of Charlotte’s vision boards?”

“That’s MY vision board that Charlotte helped me with. We started with my aptitude test results, feedback from professors and Charlotte’s affirmations about me to try to concoct a five year plan for me. Of course, it’s changed a little since the engagement and the major and the internship. But… It’s actually changed for the better, so we’re gonna revisit it senior year and probably make a new one based on the current trajectory.”

“She turned you into a brain!” Henry teased, loving it.

“Hardly. I try to pay attention to things that will help me be better because I really can’t stand the thought of failing her again, or ever, in any other way. You know? Well, I don’t know if you know. You never even go on dates. Where are you at, romantically speaking, anyway?”

Henry squirmed nervously and tilted his head from side to side, “I just… You know, gotta focus on making Junk N Stuff into a more reasonable and sustainable cover, and getting better at my other job, you know? I don’t have time for… any of that.”

Jasper made a face, “Don’t have time, my butt! Charlotte is studying for multiple degrees, works in a laboratory, is involved in extracurricular academic organizations and political efforts, and has an overgrown child to raise and two dogs!”

“You and Charlotte have a kid?” Henry joked, laughing uncomfortably.

“You… deserve to find somebody who’s gonna share all the stuff that you have to do with you. Charlotte worries about you all of the time. That you’ll wind up like Ray.”

“Ray’s awesome.”

“I know! But, she thinks that he probably should have somebody other than work friends in his life, and I think you probably should too. Did you guys even ever replace us?”

“There was no need. Turns out that you didn’t do much mandatory work and Schwoz can do everything that Charlotte can, and he does it right away, instead of arguing when it’s a horrible idea.” Jasper rolled his eyes. “I’m not looking for anybody and if something happens, cool. If not, oh well.” Henry shrugged his shoulders. “Nobody NEEDS a relationship.”

“No, nobody does. But, whenever I’m stressed out at the office, and I can call Char and hear her smiling through the phone, I know that everything that I have to put up with on my job is worth it and I get reenergized and motivated to do a better job than I did the day before. Or, when we’ve both been working so long that we haven’t really seen each other or talked or anything, instead of coming together and boning it out like a lot of our friends do in their relationships and wind up doing it to a complete stranger that they’ve drifted away from, we plan Talk-N-Touch Dates…”

“What’s a Talk-N-Touch Date?”

“It’s when we catch each other up on stuff, and talk about what’s going on all across the board in our lives and touch while we do, Not anything dirty, just holding hands, or playing in each others hair, or like her scratching my belly, me giving her a massage, whatever. Non sexual touch, so that our only time spent together in periods of hectic schedules isn’t just pushing around those hormones and chemicals in the brain, but actually connecting. And AFTERWARDS, sex is AWESOME! It’s the best that we ever have on those nights.”

Henry was surprised, but happy that Jasper was finally willing to mention that type of intimacy between he and Charlotte to him. It made him feel like they truly were back, in full effect. Jasper added, “I’m not saying that you need somebody to have a Pimple Popping Party, a Period Pampering or Wash Day with, but IF you had somebody who’d get rid of your blackheads and back pimples, or someone to treat like a princess her whole period, or somebody you love enough to spend HOURS trying to help her get her hair cleaned and moisturized, those are some really good building blocks for the stuff that you’ll face as spouses.”

“Well, I’m surely not trying to be a spouse, but living vicariously through you is sufficient. We should go out and have drinks tonight. Char said she’s off tomorrow.”

“Yeah. That’ll be cool. You’ll get to see my Drinks for Gifts Hustle.”

“I… You know what, instead of asking, I’ll just wait to witness it.”

This actually began before Charlotte turned 21, but now that she was and enjoyed having drinks to unwind after craziness in the lab or in class, it got elevated. It started with coeds with crushes and flirtatious lab associates trying to impress her. They’d pay for her coffee, or lunch, or saw something and thought about her and even though she’d let them know that they didn’t need to do things like that and that she actually had a boyfriend who loved doing things for her, they didn’t mind and probably figured that they’d get to be on the bench, if things went wrong between them. ESPECIALLY with their break up scare. Charlotte, an honest woman who talks to her boyfriend all the time always let him know whenever somebody did one of these things. Part of her wanted to see if he’d be jealous, but the other part didn’t want it to be something that became an issue later, because she knew that she didn’t too much like it when women did things to woo Jasper.

But, Jasper didn’t respond to things the same way that Charlotte did. He didn’t get jealous, like she did. He got proud. He was always delighted to find out about a new or a constant person who wanted what he had and just couldn’t have it, because HE had her. But, he also didn’t care too much for people always trying to do stuff to impress her. SO, what he did was estimated the cost of things. Like, if she said, “Farud got me a caramel macchiato with a doubleshot of expresso for our lab assignment. Saved. My. Life,” He knew that meant about a $13 gift from Farud. Or “Cicely GAVE ME a bottle of vanilla body scrub from Scrubbies!” He knew that was about a $20 gift. He kept record of it in his documents, and at the end of the month, put the full amount into a Charlotte savings. Every now and then, he’d get her some kind of special treat, “just because,” and know that at least in his mind, he’d outbought anybody trying to impress her with their trinkets here and there.

It became much more of a challenge/more fun when she began drinking, because Charlotte was HOT and now, she seemed to know it. So, he told her never to be ashamed to accept free drinks from anybody and that she could decide whether or not she even wanted to let someone know that she had a boyfriend. SO, she always drank for free and Jasper never “had to” buy her drinks, AND, he got to put aside the money that he would have spent on her drinks to buy her special and memorable things later.

“Wow! Did you come up with that idea by yourself?” Henry wondered, watching it happen.

“Uh, yeah. I wasn’t gonna be outdone by Charlotte’s non lovers.”

“Jasper, that’s a super great idea!”

“Yeah, I have great ones about 1 out of every 15. So, if I just keep pushing out ideas, the more likely that really good ones come out. This was WAY better than that Buckets o’ Meat idea that I had.”

Henry vaguely remembered Charlotte talking about Jasper wanting to have a food truck at which he’d cook and serve any meat that you wanted in buckets of various sizes. She’d asked him how much he’d charge for a bucket of steaks, just to see where he was mentally and he said, “I don’t like 100 bucks maybe?” Which… She promptly told him that his idea was terrible and she wouldn’t support it. By now, he was definitely more financially aware. He had this gift of appraisal that he discovered through his aptitude test and Charlotte encouraged him to practice honing. Turned out that somebody who could tell you the features of thousands of buckets over the years could assess materials, labor and workmanship with other products too. He’d always been a good salesman, as well… Well… He was good at speaking up the qualities of stuff and not focusing on the negatives of it. Henry gave him a hug at the bar and he looked confused. “We used to worry about you, but I think you’ve got a damn good handle on your life, Man. I’m proud of you.”

“Awww, Henry!”

“I’m proud of her too, and of the two of you together. I SERIOUSLY thought there was no way that this would ever go this far.”

“Awww. Henry…” The tone was less positive than last time and a little bit cautionary.

“Now, there’s nothing that I support more. I’m really excited about your future together, with how well you two have done together thus far.”

“AWWWWWWWWWWWWW! HENRYYYYYYYYY!” This one was the happiest and Jasper gave him another hug, then looked to see what Charlotte was ordering. “Hmmm…” He pulled out his phone to snap a photo. He wasn’t sure what drink that was, but he’d find it and account for it.

Jasper was knocked out whenever Charlotte got up. She usually didn’t get hungover, no matter how much she drank and Jasper didn’t drink at all, but typically slept in whenever he could. She and Henry had plans today and Jasper would have to be at the firm in a few hours for his internship. She got up and went to wash up and get ready for wherever Henry was going to bring her today. Coming out of the bathroom, Jasper was awake, but barely sitting up, brushing his teeth with the morning breath kit that she had for him in the drawer of the stand on his side of her bed. “Morning F Sized!” She cheered.

He smiled, rinsed, spit, and sat up to receive her. “Morning. Is Henry on the way?”

She nodded. “You should be asleep.”

“Yeah yeah,” he said and kissed her.

Henry took Charlotte to a few places in her area that he’d already spoken to or looked on their websites for things related to the wedding. “I… Just really don’t understand how or why you think that you don’t have time for a relationship, when you find the time to do things like this. You could be focusing on a relationship with this time,” Charlotte observed.

“I am focusing on a relationship. On the most important relationship of my life - mine with my two best friends, who happen to be getting married and it’s literally the biggest deal.”

She smiled. Okay. Well, where are we off to first?”

“Well, we can’t do cake. Jasper made me promise that BOTH of you gotta be there for cake, since it’s the only thing that you actually care about.”

“That’s not accurate…”

“So, since the thing you need to be concerned about is his ring, I looked up some and wanna how them to you in person. Also, I’ve got Jasper’s finger size and head size.”

“Whhhhhhhy do we need his head size, Henry?”

“Because I found something at one of these jewelry stores that’s gonna blow your balls off when you see it and I think we HAVE to get it for him…”

“Blow my…” She sighed and followed him into the store. But, whenever Henry showed it to her, she knew that he was right. It was a crown. A yellow gold medieval looking thing that had red stones, clear crystals, and silver accents. “I can get that made with jasper stones, and clear calcite or quartz. I can make him a WEDDING CROWN???”

“He’d love that, right?”

“RIGHT! I was gonna get him a trophy, but this is even better.” She gasped, long and hard, “What if I do BOTH?”

“I’m on team both!”

“Me too!” She was about to alert the jeweler, but then thought about it and said, “I wonder if Adanna can make one!” She began texting her and jumped up and down, “She can!!! What about the ring? Is there a ring here that you wanted me to look at?”

“No. That’s a different store, but… the ring is just as perfect…”

“Take me to this perfect ring!” Charlotte said, the most excited that she had been about any of the wedding planning since the proposal. Henry really was… great at this. “You oughtta be a wedding planner, Dude.” He laughed. “I mean, that’s not something I think that guys normally do, but the way that you know flowers, and how easily it seems for you to find stuff for us.”

“That’s because it’s you and Jasper, Dude… But… It has been fun.”

“You could have a little office in the shop of what you’re doing with Junk N’Stuff.”

“Flowers and Wedding Gifts, with a consultation to see if you want a wedding planner…” Henry thought out loud. “I could help fit the ceremony to the couple’s needs and also discount the flowers if I’m used for any other planning services. Might be able to expand it to be a bridal shop, someday, with an in home florist, because that’s gonna be a part of the store, no matter WHAT I end up doing with the space.”

“This is perfect! And whenever I have free time, I could design a few dresses and they could be in there, boutique style for those brides that want something a little different!”

“And if you get tired of those snooty science dudes treating you like crap, WE can go into the business together!” Henry cheered. She stopped smiling for a moment, then laughed it off.

“Maybe, Hen.” She said and shrugged her shoulders, “Few years ago, I would’ve insisted that I wouldn’t touch Jasper if the ghost of Carl Sagan told me that all the knowledge of the universe would be known if I did it. Just last year, I would have assured you that I’m not getting married, no matter how in love I fall. So… Hell, by the time I graduate and have broken my back to get where I wanna be, maybe I MIGHT just decide to make dresses in Swellview.” She laughed again, and he joined in. It sounded even more ridiculous now that she had spelled it out. But, it was still pretty sweet to dream with your friends.

#A Chasper Fic #chasper #henry danger #hd fanfic #Nesha HD Fics

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julianmakesmydickhard · 5 years

Text

uncomfortably deep and personal questions

questions here

————

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

thankfully, me and my mom are super close.... we don’t talk about my dad tho

02: Who’s the last person you said “i love you” too?

man, i tell everyone that i love them. i truly love everyone that shows even the slightest bit of kindness towards me

03: Do you regret anything?

yes,

04: Are you insecure?

oh yea. part of it is my introverted, soft spoken personality, and part of it is just how negatively i see myself oop

05: What is your relationship status?

single, unfortunately lol

06: How do you want to die?

painlessly. the pain that comes with death is what scares me the most i think

07: When did you last eat?

lunch!! i had a bomb ass colombian dish,, man do my people know how cook good food

08: Played any sports?

does show choir count?? aggressive dancing with aggressive singing??

09: Do you bite your nails?

nope

10: When was your last physical fight?

i know i say that i want to slap people sometimes, but i’ve never actually done it

11: Do you like someone?

y’all, im always attracted to someone sksksk

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

yup

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

yes, but we don’t talk about him

14: Do you miss someone?

oh god yes...

15: Have any pets?

yes!! i have one lil doggie

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

i’m very tired lol. it’s like 11pm which is v late for me since i have 7am classes

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

nope, bathrooms are gross

18: Are you scared of spiders?

yes, have you seen them??

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

yes, imagine all the things you could change or prevent

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

honestly, it’s been a while, i don’t really remember

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

i’m gonna go see a play that one of my friends is starring in on saturday and then i’m gonna celebrate my birthday with my doggo on sunday

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

ahh, this is such a difficult question. i want to give my kids the childhood that i never got. but what happens if by some circumstance, i give them the childhood i had, and negatively impact their life through it?

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

i just have my ears pierced

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

english and art! math and science are my worst. i guess i function best when i’m able to use the creative and imaginative side of me whereas i fail when logic and reason come into play

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

yes yes yes and yes

26: What are you craving right now?

blueberries

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

no, never

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

yes

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

no. unless something changed in their heart and they, for some reason, felt bad for treating me so badly, and decided to weep, no

30: What’s irritating you right now?

so many things ahhh,, why do i have to be so introverted? why am i so deperate to find love, when it keeps biting me in the butt?.why can’t i make friends as easily as other people?

31: Does somebody love you?

honestly, i don’t think anyone does, maybe only my mother?

32: What is your favourite color?

auburn

33: Do you have trust issues?

oh god i wish i did. i wish i was able to keep people at a distance. i let people in and basically ask them to use my secrets, my insecurities, my whatever, to break me. and then the cycle goes on and on

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

i dreamt about me meeting billie eilish a couple of days ago. it was v nice

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

i don’t know lol, there’s not a lot of people around to see me cry i guess

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

yea, it’s not good i know

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

no, but it’s definitely not the worst, and i’m thankful for that

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

i don’t remember, but i do know that i was v late to the game

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

god no

51: Favourite food?

colombian food, thai food, japanese food

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

i want to believe this, but sometimes shitty things happen and i’m like wow, there’s literally no benefit or reason to why this happened except to make me feel like shit

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

kissed my doggo goodnight

54: Is cheating ever okay?

if you’re my friend, i’m just gonna say that even if you’ve cheated on someone before, i don’t see you as less of a person or a friend. people make mistakes, and it’s also part of who i am: someone who tried to look past the bad and see the good, ahhh i don’t know how to explain this the right way but i hope you understand my pov. anyways, i’ve been cheated on before and it sucked balls. so no, i don’t think it’s ever ok in a relationship. but i also don’t think that it’s something that should affect your friendship with someone. i think cheating is something that needs to be dealt with among the cheater and the cheated and shouldn’t bleed into your friendship with a random, uninvolved person. but you can totally disagree with me and that’s fine!! everyone is subject to their own opinion based on their own experiences and personalities etc.

55: Are you mean?

i don’t think so!! but then again, i can’t really be the judge of that lol. i try my hardest to be the friend that i’ve always wanted, if that makes sense. i try to be kind, and supportive, and positive, and there for them, etc.

56: How many people have you fist fought?

no one, ive never gotten into a physical fight

57: Do you believe in true love?

it’s not that i believe in true love, it’s that i hope and pray for it. i hope that one day i’ll find it

58: Favourite weather?

cold, cloudy, people walking around in big, fluffy jackets and scarves

59: Do you like the snow?

yes! i saw snow for the first time in my life a couple of weeks ago!

60: Do you wanna get married?

ahhhh,, my parents set a really bad example for good marriage. my parents’ marriage taught me that men can change over time. and that once they’re safe in the bounds of marriage, theyll stop their act, get tired of you, and act like a totally new person. and that... scares me. i don’t want a husband like my dad and i’m so afraid that the same situation will happen to me

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

yes, names like baby, sweetheart, love, honey etc. make my heart weak

62: What makes you happy?

real friends, tight hugs, platonic cuddling, romantic cuddling, acts of service, uplifting words, hand holding, forehead kisses, soft intimacy, need i go on?

63: Would you change your name?

i wold ditch my last name.. can you guess why? i’d love if my middle name became my last name, legally

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

romantically? yea

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

nothing, cuz that kind of stuff doesn’t happen to me

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

no. i try my hardest to only let my friends see the happy side of me. i don’t like burdening them with all the bad emotions i sometimes feel. my complete self would be if i shared ALL of my emotions, the bad as well as the good. but i think it’s better this way, they would most definitely get annoyed after a little bit of time

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

probably my friend tino

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

i don’t remember,, it’s been a long time since i’ve actually talks about truly deep subjects with someone personally,,

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

i want to believe it. i want to believe that i’ll one day find the person of my dreams. the person that fits so perfectly with me and is just so perfect ahhh

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

i don’t know, i’m selfish when it comes to dying. death scares me

#sfw #why do i love oversharing sjsjsjs

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captivismarchive-blog · 5 years

Text

mystery solved || z self para

tw: guns, violence

“aight z, you got this.” he was looking at himself in the rearview mirror of his car, taking a deep breath in and nodding. “you got this. you gotta have this. you gotta know what’s going on so you can protect your family, your girl, and yourself. okay?” he paused, as if waiting for a response. but no response came. it was just him. him, a gun, in his car, deep in black spade territory in brooklyn.

pulling out his phone, he texted anita. i scheduled a lyft to pick you up and bring you to me around 7. i love you baby. see you tonight.

thinking about seeing anita tonight, the thought crossed his mind that what he was doing could get him hurt. he promised anita that he wouldn’t go looking for answers, but here he was. this could get you killed. now he was thinking about his mom, drake, his little sister. he wondered if he was doing the right thing anymore, looking over to his glove box where he knew his gun was stashed for emergencies.

but then he remembered why he was doing this.

when that spade came to his family cookout, z learned a few things. firstly, the spades knew where his mom and family lived. he could only assume, since he lived ten minutes away by foot and was there all the time, that the spades also knew where his apartment was. the fear of what else they might know was fueling this quest of his. what if they know about anita? where she lives? the posse forced drake in with legal fees; what if they threaten us? or drake? or hazeema? he also learned that the gang had something up their sleeve. the guy had been cocky, like he had information that the delphins didn’t. but what?

fear coursing through him, he took in a sharp breath and reached over to his glove compartment, yanking it open and grabbing the gun. he turned the safety off and put it in his hoodie, getting out of his car and beginning to walk around and look for the gangster that had called himself ‘deshawn’. he’d memorized the license plate of the suv the guy had been in so that he could find him later if he needed to, and he hoped that would help him now. 898-AB0D.

it took nearly a half hour, but finally, he saw the telltale lettering of the license plate. he’d worn black, hoping that flying gang colors would allow people trust him and give him information. an older man stood outside of the corner store, dressed normally, but with a black bandana in the window of his shop.

“yo!” z called, walking over, “my brother, you know whose car that is?” he asked, pointing to the suv. the older man looked at him like he didn’t want to get involved. “boy, you lookin’ stupid axin’ questions like that in this neighborhood.” z licked his lips, knowing that he was going to have to be quick on his feet to get through this. “nah, you lookin’ stupid old man. you know who i am?” the man’s head cocked in confusion and z went on, hoping that this would work. “i’m a delphin. one of ulysses’ boys.”

the man’s eyes widened and he started retreating toward his shop. “oh hell nah, ion want no smoke,” he said, opening his door and speaking, half-in and half-out. “whatever business you got wid deshawn, keep it outta my shop.” the door slammed and locked, the man flipping the sign from open to closed. z just stood there, dumbfounded. what the fuck was that?

sighing, z turned and looked around, trying to spot any clues as to what he would do next. i just want some fuckin’ answers.

as if his prayer was being answered, he suddenly saw a familiar face walking out of a small apartment across the street. “shit,” he hissed, ducking over into the alley because he didn’t want to be seen yet. okay, stay calm. go over, just talk. if he gets buck, just show the glizzy. you won’t ever have to shoot. it won’t come to that.

that’s what he had to tell himself.

peering around the corner, he waited for deshawn to get close enough to his car, then jumped out and yanked him into the alley. he fought back immediately, pushing z forcefully back into the brick wall and pulling out a knife. z’s heart thudded roughly, memories of his last encounter with a blade nearly freezing him. but then deshawn hesitated once he saw his face. he grinned. “well well, if it ain’t lil mr. ‘we ain’t interested’ zachariaz delphin. you here to talk shop big man?”

anger flooding him, z locked his jaw and pulled out his gun. he didn’t aim it, but he wanted deshawn to know he had it. “i came here for some answers, and ‘less you wanna know what it feel like to get shot in the gut close range, i’d provide those mu’fuckin’ answers.”

this wasn’t who z was, but he was terrified. he was tired of living life looking over his shoulder, wondering when the other shoe was gonna drop. when would the shadow posse and the black spades stop trying to recruit him when they failed to do so? when would he start being seen as more of a threat than a benefit? the idea of trying to get his life together seemed impossible with his family history hanging over his head. he needed to know what the black spades had up their sleeves so that he could take care of it and move on with his life.

deshawn was not amused. “you think i’m scared of some lil kid?” he growled, puffing his chest out as if daring z to shoot him. “you ain’t no thug, delphin. your daddy wants to make you one, but now? you trippin.”

the way that deshawn kept mentioning his dad was weird. no one had seen his father in new york city since he left his family, as far as z knew. “yo, you keep talkin’ bout my dad this, my dad that. what’s up with that? did you know him? is he still alive? what is it?”

he laughed at this. “alive?” he scoffed, taking a step closer. z’s brows furrowed, pointing the gun directly at deshawn’s head and cocking it as he took a step back. “don’t fuckin’ move.”

deshawn grinned, sliding his knife back into his pocket and crossing his arms over his chest. “boy, yo daddy ain’t just alive. i just came outta his crib.”

the weight of what was said lingered in the air. z didn’t believe it. “you lyin’,” he shook his head. “you sayin’ he’s alive, he still in brooklyn, and he still a spade? and we just ain’t know about it in over ten years? bullshit,” he waved the gun, as if reminding him that he would shoot if he had to, “tell me the fuckin’ truth my dude, i’m losin’ my patience. you said yourself i got his temper, so start fuckin’ actin like it.”

“how did i know that yo mama’s favorite pie was pecan? who do you think ordered me to take it over? who knew what date y’all do family cook outs in summer?” the puzzle pieces were coming together and it felt like z’s entire world was going up in flames. deshawn continued, hoping that he could persuade z to do what his boss wanted him to do. “when uly left y’all, the cops was on him crazy. he go by a different name now, but everyone in the hood know who he really be. he lays low. he had the chance to betray all’a the spades if he woulda cooperated w’ twelve, so when he didn’t, he was rewarded. they gave him a new life. the condition was, he couldn’t be sloppy. no one could know.”

this was not the answer z had expected. not even an answer that had crossed his mind. he had to consciously keep his voice level, his eyes dark as he kept the gun on deshawn while he spoke. “what does he want?”

“his family.”

“well it’s too mu’fuckin’ late for that. he shoulda thought about that shit before.” shaking his head, z took a step in, putting the gun to deshawn’s forehead for added measure, lowering his voice to an intimidating hum. “you tell anyone i was here, n’ i’mma come back here n’ weigh you down with a clip. you try to hide, i’mma find you. you try to rat, i’mma keep you quiet. feel me?” his arm lowered slowly, watching deshawn as he stood there with his hands up.

“yeah yeah, baby delphin. run back to mama in the heights. come back when you ready to play with the big boys.”

and with that, z shoved the gun into his hoodie and headed back to his car. he knew that deshawn wouldn’t hurt him, not if his dad wanted him alive, if his dad was his boss. that means he’s even deeper in than he was before.

once he got into his car, he started shaking and breathing hard, his adrenaline finally starting to die as he put the car in drive and whipped out as fast as he could. he didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he had to get the hell out of there before he did something he would regret.

#guns tw #violence tw #zselfpara #we all shook out here #mysterysolved

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blackcoffeeandteardrops · 6 years

Text

Slow and Steady

You know those stories that grab ahold of you and refuse to let go? This is one of those stories. I do have a request or two I promise to try and fulfill in the next few days, but this will have to do for now. Under the cut, but also at AO3:

“Is there a chance we’re being tricked?” Scully asked, already afraid of Mulder’s answer.

Mulder looked over at Scully in the passenger seat and he sighed, not knowing how else to respond. When they'd gotten the call, neither of them quite knew how to process it. They'd just gone to bed when a sheriff a few towns over reached Scully on her cell, and while that fact alone wasn't strange or altogether unexpected, it was what the sheriff had to say that had thrown them both for a loop. Scully’s face, so full of hope as she told him she knew William’s whereabouts after one of the deputies had picked him up, was a sight he'd not soon forget. “It's him, Scully. You said it yourself. We’ll be there in less than ten minutes. If we turn back now, we’ll regret it the rest of our lives.”

“I know,” Scully replied, fixing her gaze out the window at the trees they sped by. “Sheriff Watkins said they picked him up, clearly inebriated, on the side of the road. His blood alcohol level was almost double the legal limit. What was he thinking?”

“The kid’s had a tough go of it these last few months,” Mulder replied, tightening his grip on the wheel as he pressed harder on the gas pedal. His response was an understatement at best. William’s adoptive parents were gunned down in their own home and while he’d initially been believed dead himself, he’d survived the attack and then fled. However, events Mulder and Scully were still struggling to comprehend had briefly brought him back into their orbit only to nearly lose him to violence once more. “I gotta give it to him, he takes after his father. Cheating death and then popping up by making a dramatic entrance.”

Scully smiled sadly, her hand resting against the slight swell of her stomach. In a matter of months, she and Mulder would become parents again. It didn't make grappling with their first child any easier. “He asked for us when they took him in. He told them we’re his parents. Why would he do that?”

“Because he knew we’d come,” he replied, casting a glance at her profile. The way she absently rubbed at her stomach, comforting the life that grew inside, made his stomach flutter. “He knew we’d come, which implies he trusts us. The kid has spent months on the road. Maybe--”

“Don't,” Scully interjected, only realizing after the fact how harsh her tone had been. She reached across the console and gave his leg a squeeze, leaving it there afterwards, tracing his knee cap through his jeans with her thumb. “We shouldn't get our hopes up yet. We don't really know what we’re walking into.”

“You’re right,” he quietly conceded. He slowed the car, turning into the lot of the police station. “Are you ready to do this?”

“Are you?” Scully asked, opening her door. She didn’t know what they were walking into, much less what condition he’d be in, but knowing William had asked for her was the only motivation she needed to get out of the car.

Mulder held the door open for her as they stepped inside. Once at the desk, he explained who they were there for, and was about to supply identification when the sheriff sidled out of his office, politely nodding at the clerk on duty.

“You’re the Vandekamp kid’s parents?” the sheriff said, pulling at his belt to adjust his pants as he glanced them up and down, apparently sizing them up. He held out his hand for Mulder to shake and then shoved it in his pocket once the greeting was complete. “We’ve got him in a room over here down the hall. Of course, you understand us catching someone underage and intoxicated in public is quite serious.”

“We do,” Mulder said, pressing a hand to Scully’s back as they followed the sheriff down the hallway. “You seem to have a nice town here, I’m sorry if he caused any disruption.”

“To tell you the truth, it’s been quiet around here these past few days. I know, most people would probably say my speaking that outloud would cause it to change, but I don’t believe that,” the sheriff said, shaking his head as they rounded the corner. “He’s not the first kid we’ve caught who slipped into mom and dad’s liquor cabinet, or who maybe nabbed a few brewskis from the gas station. It’s summer and kids are bored. I’m not saying it’s okay, but--”

“Do you intend to press charges?” Scully asked. The sheriff seemed like an amiable man, but regardless of his response, they’d be tasked as William’s parents to decide what came next. If he let them, she thought, again reminding herself they had no idea what they were walking into.

The sheriff paused in front of a door, considering his response for a second before turning to face them. “I could, you’re right. But I’ve talked to your boy. I’m not too sure what y’all got going on at home, but he seems like he’s holding something back. I dunno what it is, but in this case, I don’t think pressing charges would be the best option. Might make him lash out even more, you know?”

Mulder glanced at Scully and watched as she slowly drew a breath in and out. Over the sheriff’s shoulder William could be seen, sitting at a table with his head in his hands. When he followed her gaze, she was no longer paying attention to the sheriff, but was looking instead at their son. He gripped her elbow, momentarily pulling her back into the conversation. The last thing either of them needed was to come unglued in front of someone who had no clue the situation they were in. “We’ll talk to him,” he said, surprising even himself by how evenly he was able to speak.

If the sheriff suspected anything, he didn’t show it. He jerked his thumb over his shoulder and started walking backwards away from them. “I’ll get my deputy to start working on the discharge paperwork. It’ll give you guys a few minutes.”

Scully waited until he was out of earshot to speak. “Mulder, the last time we saw him…”

“I know,” Mulder replied, a solemn expression fixed on his features.

“We thought for so long that he was--” Scully stopped, squeezing her eyes shut tight as she shook the image from her head. “I’ve seen flashes, brief glimpses, that let me know he was alive. But this?”

Mulder joined her in looking through the window at William, still calmly sitting at the table. He wondered if he knew they were there. “We’d better go in.”

William looked up, eyes cautious as they entered. He weakly waved a hand in their general direction. “Hey.”

“How are you feeling?” Scully asked, gripping the back of a vacant chair to resist the urge to touch him.

William rubbed at his temple and sighed. “I guess you could say I’ve been better. But I’m fine, it’s cool. I just...they were asking me questions, you know? About my parents, and if I was drinking. Of course, they tested me anyway. So when they said they needed the number to call my parents, I just--” he stopped, gesturing about the room. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry about reaching out to us, Jackson,” Scully said. His name sounded wrong even before she said it, but if she had any chance at all of making him comfortable, she figured she had to use it. “But from what I understand, the amount of drinking you’ve done tonight may leave you feeling unwell in a few hours.”

“What...what’re you guys gonna do? Punish me?” William asked, laughing it off. He tried to stand up, but immediately changed his mind. The ground wasn’t exactly steady underneath him at the moment.

Scully crossed and then uncrossed her arms. She didn’t want to come across as too hard nosed, even though there was a certain amount of tough love about it. “What you need right now is probably something to eat, and some water. A nice place to sleep it off.”

William shook his head, picking at a hangnail on his thumb. He barely winced when he pulled too much skin away and it bled. “The motel I was staying at ran me off. Some creep tried breaking into my room, so I...you know,” he said, glancing up at them with a shrug. “I didn’t kill him, I just sort of scared him. All my stuff is in a bag up front. I don’t--”

“Yes, you do,” Mulder interjected. Whether their son knew it or not, he had a place with them, and he always would. “Let’s go check in with the sheriff, and then we’ll get you out of here. Do you need some help?”

“No,” William replied, his voice loud in such a small room. When he stood up, he had to grip the table to stay balanced. He giggled, an odd sound in someone his size but most likely a side effect of coming down from the alcohol high, and he hung his head. “Yeah.”

Cautiously, they each looped an arm around his middle, helping him down the hall. Once papers were signed and everything was cleared, they made their way back out to the car.

“You don’t have to help me,” William insisted, batting away Scully’s hand as he tried buckling the seatbelt. He tried again, and again, until finally the metal pieces clicked into place. “See?” he said, tilting his head back, clearly amused with his efforts. “All by myself.”

Scully tried not to wince at the alcohol on his breath as she hovered, clinging to the open car door. There was stubble on his chin, his eyes were glassy, and his hair was clearly disheveled, but somewhere underneath all of that was the boy she’d given birth to all those years ago. “All by yourself,” she muttered, trying and failing to not let the words hurt. “Let us know if we need to pull over, okay?”

“I’m fine,” William insisted, regretting shaking his head the second he began doing so. “How...how is the car doing that?”

“Doing what?” she asked, casting a glance up at Mulder who stood near the trunk of the car, keys in hand.

“The car just moved, and it’s not even on. I wonder…” he said, closing his eyes in apparent attention at something no one else could see. “No, it’s not.”

If there was any hope of having any in depth conversation with him, Scully got the impression it wasn’t going to happen tonight. “Like I said, just let us know if we need to pull over, okay?” she said, carefully shutting the door before moving to the passenger side of the car.

Halfway to home, they pulled into a Waffle House, just about the only place open so late. They’d contemplated making the ride in one go, but William’s stomach growling loudly from the backseat had settled the matter. He’d apparently sobered up some, ordering a full plate of food for himself along with a coffee without even glancing at the menu or stuttering once.

“It’s cheap and they don’t ask questions. I’ve...had my fair share of places like this,” he admitted, staring at the table sheepishly once the waitress had walked away to place their order.

“We have, too. Working the cases we do,” Mulder replied, leaning against the tabletop and grinning conspiratorially. “Well, used to do, anyway.”

Scully rubbed a hand over her abdomen, feeling the slightest of flutters from inside, but stopped when William glanced across the table at her. She’d tell him about the baby eventually, assuming he stuck around enough, but she was hesitant to push too much too soon. “He once made us stop at a diner exclusively decorated with alien memorabilia. The pancakes were even shaped like an alien head. Everything had a space themed name. The Flying Saucer Burger, Moon Rock macaroni and cheese…”

“You loved that place and you know it, Scully,” Mulder replied, grateful for the distraction of their food arriving before the conversation got much farther. As much as he liked reliving certain parts of their history, and as much as he yearned to share them with with their son, he could see by the way William curled in on himself that he was dealing with somewhat of an overload.

They ate their food in relative silence before paying and again heading out to the car. “So, I was thinking,” William said, shoving his hands in his jeans and rocking back on his heels. “I’m thankful to you guys, for getting me out of there. And I’m sorry I had to do it to you. But there was no one else I could call.”

“We were happy to,” Scully insisted, reaching her hand out to rest on his shoulder even as she could feel him beginning to proverbially slip away. “We’re here for you. Whatever that means, whatever that looks like to you. As much as you’ll let us.”

William laughed and lowered his head towards the ground. “You don’t have to take me anywhere else. It’s okay. I’ll...find a hotel nearby. You’ve already done enough.”

Mulder stepped in, gripping William’s other arm, desperate to get his attention. He’d left his son as a baby because he thought it’d keep him safe, and he’d watched in horror just a few months ago as his body plummeted into the icy water, so he was loathe to let him slip through his hands once more, at least not yet. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You’ve had too much to drink tonight, and even if you’re sobering up now, you’re still not thinking clearly.”

“How do you know that? You don’t even know me,” William replied, stepping back from the both of them. He pressed his palms to his eyes so hard stars began to blur his vision.

“We know you well enough to know you trusted us to let us help you,” Scully said, mustering every ounce of bravery she had. “We have a room you can stay in, even if it’s just for tonight. Sleep this off, and we can decide tomorrow where to go from here.”

William considered it, kicking at a stray rock in the parking lot, watching as it skidded across the pavement. The wind kicked up and he shivered, despite the fact it was still summer. He’d known at the police station that if he called, they’d come. He’d also suspected they’d offer whatever they could to help. Still, as enticing as the offer seemed, he couldn’t help feeling like it was a betrayal in some way of the parents who’d raised him. “You guys...you know how messed up I am. You know the things I’ve done. The things I can do…” he said, trailing off as his chin quivered. He bit his bottom lip so hard he began to taste blood. He wiped the droplets away with the back of his hand, smearing them across his jeans. It was a move his parents--both sets of them, he surmised--wouldn’t approve of, but he did it anyway. “I’m a freak. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” Scully insisted, desperate to reassure him. Even as he stood, rocking back and forth, trying somewhat in vain to keep his emotions his check, he was still every bit the son she’d always wanted to know. No stories from a cigarette smoking, cancer riddled demon of a man would ever change that. She fished a tissue from her pocket, offering it to him, and pretended not to look as he dabbed at his eyes. “Will you let us help you? Just for tonight. If you still want to leave in the morning, we’ll help you get wherever it is you need to go.”

William had expected more resistance, had anticipated some blowback, but even as he still processed her request, he already knew what he’d say. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Okay?” Scully asked, trying to mask her relief. A quick glance at Mulder let her know he also hadn’t expected such a response so quickly. Before she’d had a chance to say or do anything else, William’s arms engulfed her middle, his grip so strong her heels came off the ground.

“Thank you,” William said, muttering the word against her hair. In the morning he might regret his outburst, but being welcomed without question had him feeling a bit off kilter. When he pulled back, he wiped furiously at his cheeks, knowing they were pinked at least slightly, although he figured he could blame at least some of that on the alcohol. “Sorry.”

Scully insisted it was fine, and they clamored back into the car. Inside her, the baby kicked, and she couldn’t resist wondering if they were at all aware of the events happening. Her thoughts were interrupted by Mulder nudging her in the arm with his elbow. He cocked his head at the backseat where William had curled up against the window and was quickly nodding off to sleep. “It’s like when he was a baby. If he wouldn’t sleep, mom or I would take him on a drive around the neighborhood. He’d be out within minutes. The tricky part was getting him out of the car once we got home.”

Mulder smiled despite the pang of regret he felt at a reminder of the times when he wasn’t there. “Let’s just hope he’s gotten a bit easier at that part.”

Once they arrived at the house, William woke with little fanfare. “This is it, huh?” he asked, setting his bag down with a subtle thud in the entryway. “Hey, you guys have a dog,” he continued, using the wall for support as he crouched down to scratch Dagoo behind the ears when he ran up to greet them.

Mulder looked over at Scully and smiled at her in what he hoped was a ressuring way. Apparently, their son didn’t have much of a filter when he wasn’t one hundred percent sober. Still, he was coming down from the wave, Mulder could tell as much when William stood unsteadily, even if his grip was firm when Mulder reached out a hand to him for balance. “I’ll go grab something for you to change into. Scully will show you the room,” he said before turning for the stairs.

Scully followed suit, with William in between them. There was a room to the left that was to be the nursery; they’d already purchased a crib along with a changing table. As they walked by, she breathed a sigh of relief that the door was closed. She’d told Mulder when he’d come home with a crib that she hadn’t wanted to chance fate, but as they walked by, this time she was thankful because it pushed back the inevitable conversation she’d have to have with William on the subject of their impending arrival. If he stuck around, she reminded herself as she showed him to the room adjacent to theirs. “It’s not much,” she said, by way of apology. She watched as he perched on the edge of the mattress, bouncing for a second as if testing the firmness. The fact she’d purchased new bedding for the room and had cleaned it out just weeks before in hopes of such a moment did not go unnoticed.

Mulder interrupted before anything else could be said, supplying William with a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt. “The pants might be a little short for your size, but they’ll do the trick at least for tonight.”

“The bathroom is right next door. Everything should be in there if you feel up to taking a shower or cleaning up,” Scully said, watching as he held the clothes almost gingerly.

“Thank you. Really. I guess I’ll go wash up,” William replied, slowly moving past them.

Scully and Mulder stood in place in the hallway for a few moments afterward, listening as they heard the pipes rattle to life for the shower. “I’m going to take Dagoo out for a minute,” she said, not even bothering to stifle a yawn.

“Do you want me to join you?” Mulder asked, not entirely surprised when she shook her head no in reply. In light of everything they’d been through in the last few hours, he wasn’t offended that she needed a moment alone to collect her thoughts. “I’ll be in the room. Probably keeping an ear out for him if he needs anything,” he said, cocking his head in the direction of the bathroom.

Scully made her way downstairs to let Dagoo out, keeping careful watch of where he ran in the yard to do his business. Once back inside, she made sure he was safe and was about to head back upstairs when she thought better of it, and doubled back to the fridge for a bottle of water. If William was anything like her when she was younger, he’d certainly have a headache in a couple of hours, if he didn’t already. She stopped at the bathroom for a bottle of Tylenol before quietly pushing the door open to his room. “Sorry,” she said, upon finding him awake, staring at the ceiling in the dim lamp light. “I wasn’t sure you’d be awake. I just wanted to bring you these for later,” she continued, rattling the bottle of pain medication.

“This is embarrassing,” he replied, rubbing at his neck as he sat up to take the water and the Tylenol from her. He opened the bottle of pills, dumping out the correct dose in his hand before downing them with a sip of the water. “You guys aren’t...mad at me or whatever? I mean, you can’t exactly ground me, but--” he curtailed his sentence, quirking an eyebrow in a way he didn’t yet know mirrored her own classic expression.

“What we want is for you to be okay. Whatever that looks like,” Scully replied, weighing her words carefully as she clasped her hands together in front of her. “I don’t know why you chose to drink tonight, but I am glad you knew you could trust us. That you reached out like you did was a smart move. I’m proud of you.”

“It’s his birthday. My dad’s, I mean. Well, it would’ve been,” William replied, burying his face in his hands as he corrected himself. “It’s stupid, I know. But any family members they had still live out west, and they stopped talking to them after the...incidents, I guess you could call them. With me,” he said, looking up at her through his lashes. He wondered briefly what, if anything, she knew of what happened when he was younger. “Anyway, I was alone. No one else knew him, so I just...I went to the store, and I stole a bottle of liquor. I already had beers at the motel, so I knew it was stupid, but I just…”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Scully replied, sitting carefully on the edge of the bed and urging him to come closer. She tried not to act surprised when he readily obliged, tilting his head onto her shoulder as she rocked him slightly. How many times had she pictured this exact moment, albeit under far different circumstances, she thought.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I made you guys worry, and I’m sorry that I made you come, and--”

Scully pulled back in an effort to get him to look at her. It was startling in a way, looking into a face that was so similar to Mulder’s. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but there’s nothing you have to apologize for.”

“If you say so,” he muttered, reaching for a tissue from a box on the nightstand to blow his nose.

She nodded, displaying more strength than she felt. He may have been on the tail end of his teenage years, but she was still new at the whole parenting thing. “I do,” she replied. “Thank you.”

“For what?” he asked, frowning.

“For trusting us. For telling me that story. Today can’t be easy for you,” she replied, leaning over just enough to nudge her shoulder against his. “I lost my father years ago. But birthdays, holidays, things like that? I still miss him.”

William nodded, staring down at the crumpled tissue in his hands. “Does it get any easier?”

“I’d like to think so,” Scully replied. It wasn’t entirely a lie, although in his case she knew it would definitely take some time. She clapped her hands on her legs with a sense of finality and cleared her throat as she stood. If circumstances were different, she figured it might have been the sort of moment where she’d reach out and ruffle his hair, but she tucked her own hair behind her ears instead. “You should probably get some rest. We’ll be right next door if you need anything.”

William agreed, settling back under the covers as she walked away. She was about to shut the door behind her when he got the urge to call out. “Hey, Dana?”

For the briefest of seconds, she paused with her back to him in the doorway. Hearing her first name coming from his lips wasn’t the most natural sound, but given that he was calling her anything at all was reason enough to turn around. “Yes?”

“Just…” William trailed off, finding remaining upright harder the longer he tried to fight sleep. “Thank you, I guess. For everything.”

“Of course,” Scully replied, smiling softly. She wondered if he’d have memory of their conversation at all in the light of day. “Anytime.”

“Everything go okay?” Mulder asked once she entered their room. He dogeared a page in the book he’d only been pretending to read, and set it along with his glasses on the nightstand. He held his arms open for her as she settled into bed.

“I think so,” she replied, sighing in contentment as his arms settled around her. “I just can’t believe he’s here.”

Mulder nodded, rubbing a soothing hand against her arm. “I know,” he replied. “I do think we have to prepare ourselves, however. He may not be here when we wake up. He’s grateful for help, we know that, but he could just as easily take off come daylight.”

“You’re right,” Scully replied, blinking back hot tears as she looked at him. Still, she clung to the cross around her neck, and couldn’t fight back the hope that maybe this time was different. “We’ve earned more than that, haven’t we?” she asked, knowing as she spoke it was an understatement. They’d had their fair share of suffering over the years, so they were overdue for a win. “We’ll see.”

As they settled in for at least a few hours sleep, Mulder had half a mind to bolt and seal all the doors to the house shut. Although, he thought, if their son was anything like them, he’d find a way out if he really wanted to. He burrowed under the covers and kissed her forehead, resting a hand over her middle and marveling at the life growing inside. It was surreal, he thought, that they’d be preparing for a new child while still growing accustomed to their first one. As sleep began to claim him, Mulder knew with certainty he wanted William to stick around come morning just as much as she did. “Night, Scully. We should get some rest.”

“Good night,” she replied, her eyelids growing heavy. She turned her head, searching for his mouth, and meeting in the middle of the bed for a kiss. The baby turned in her belly, kicking at Mulder’s hand pressing against her skin. She smiled against his lips and kissed him again. “I love you,” she said. Beside her, he was nearly asleep, but the way he pulled her closer let her know he’d heard her. The house was quiet, filled with an odd stillness after all the excitement they’d just gone through. She thought of the baby and she thought of Mulder, and she thought of William sleeping in the room next door.

There was a time when she’d have doubted if any of it were possible, but they were all under the same roof--although the tiniest one of them didn’t exactly have a choice in the matter, she thought with a hint of amusement. The baby rolled again, but after a few minutes with little movement also appeared to be settling in for the night. While she knew Mulder was right in saying William might not stick around, she couldn’t help hoping that he’d stay, or that if he did leave, he’d come around again soon enough. As she drifted off to sleep herself, Scully knew--although she couldn’t exactly explain how--that they’d all face whatever came next together.

#msr #william #otp and their kids #txf #fanfic

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southsidestory · 7 years

Text

The Price of Apples in Atlanta

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Reylo

Prompt: meeting in prison au

Notes: I’ve once again exercised my utter inability to write drabbles. ;) Thank you @lunaplath for requesting this one! I’m sorry it took so long for me to write it for you, but this story grew, changed, and took me for a ride in the best possible way.

A disclaimer: I am not particularly educated on conditions in jail. This is in no way meant to be an accurate portrayal of life in jail, although I do hope that I correctly conveyed the nastiness of criminalizing poverty in the U.S. Rey’s year-long sentence for shoplifting is based on a real case, in which a homeless man named Tom Barrett was sentenced similarly for shoplifting a beer from a convenience store. Here’s a link to an NPR article about it, which I encourage y’all to check out if you’re interested in learning more.

It isn’t technically a crime to be poor in the Great State of Georgia. Except, Rey has been homeless ever since she ran away from her last foster family, and it turns out that six shoplifting charges in four months are enough to piss off the local cops. She goes to jail for stealing two apples, valued at $1.09, plus tax. Rey might be entitled to a public defender, but it still costs fifty dollars to fill out the necessary applications, and she doesn’t have it. So she represents herself and pleads no contest.

Judge Dickinson sentences her to a year of probation. If she had the money to pay for an ankle monitor, Rey could’ve spent those twelve months on the street, free, if tagged and tracked. But she didn’t have chump change for apples, or fifty bucks for a lawyer, and she doesn’t have the money to pay for an ankle bracelet either. So here she is, stranded at Dekalb County Jail. Her home for the next twelve months.

Rey has learned two things from this: red apples aren’t worth doing time, no matter how hungry you are; and, in practice, it’s a crime to be poor in the Great State of Georgia.

Ben has to complete two hundred service hours every year to keep his fellowship. It’s a responsibility he’s used to by now, but the second semester of junior year is kicking his ass. He’s procrastinated himself into a corner, still seventy-one hours short of his requirements with only six weeks left until final exams. He’s sick of volunteering at warming shelters and slinging soup to homeless folks at the Mission. It’s important work, as his mother would say, and Ben agrees, but he’s also exhausted, busy, and worst of all, bored--a combination that sends his mood swinging wildly without fail.

Ben calls his mom, because if there’s any problem she can’t fix, he’s yet to see it.

“I’m behind on my service hours, and if I have to build one more sustainable house I’m gonna lose my shit,” he says. “Please tell me there’s something interesting you can get me plugged into.”

She sighs. “If you’d focused on your hours at the beginning of the semester, you wouldn’t be in this boat right now. What have I told you about using your time wisely?”

Ben grabs his stress ball, considers throwing it, and squeezes it instead. “I know that, Mama, but I called for advice, not a slap on the wrist. Can you help me or not?”

He can feel his mother’s sharp disapproval through the crackling silence. She says, “I can, but I won’t if you keep talking to me like that.”

He throws the stress ball. It knocks Armitage’s ugly, industrial lamp off of his bedside table. The thing must not be as durable as it looks, because its neck snaps from the base.

Ben holds the phone away from his face so he can cuss without his mother hearing. “Goddamn motherfucking piece of shit--”

“Ben? What was that crash?”

He bites his knuckles until the sting of breaking skin grounds him, then pulls the phone closer to say, “Sorry. I knocked over my roommate’s lamp. Not on purpose.”

His mother hums, sounding half sympathetic, half disbelieving. “Tell me the truth: are you taking your meds?”

Here we go again, Ben thinks, but all he says is, “Yes.”

“All of them?”

“Yes, all of them,” Ben lies.

“I understand how hard this is, but it’s important that you--”

“That Seroquel knocks me out for twelve hours every night, and I can’t get up the next day,” he says. “I missed three of my morning classes last month because I slept through my alarms. How the fuck am I supposed to ace English 301 and squeeze in seventy service hours if I can’t stay awake?”

“Well it sounds like you need to schedule an appointment with your psychiatrist.”

“I will,” Ben says. “Swear to God. As soon as this semester is over.”

His mother’s voice takes a turn from concerned to suspicious when she asks, “Are you saying that because you’re too busy, or because you’re hoping to sail through your exams on a manic phase again?”

She’s not wrong, but this isn’t an argument that he’s willing to have right now. “I don’t have time for the third degree. Email me some service prospects, or don’t. I’ve gotta go.”

“Don’t be like that,” his mother says. “I have a contact at the Dekalb County Jail who’s been looking for volunteer tutors. I’ll pass your name along to him.”

The anger goes out of him as suddenly as it came. He says, “Thanks, Mama. I’m--I’ll do better.”

“I know,” she says gently. “I know you will, sweetheart.”

Rey’s new GED instructor is a college student who introduces himself as Ben. He’s tall and broad-shouldered with huge, jittery hands and prominent ears that he’s unsuccessfully trying to hide under a mop of pretty hair. He’s hot, in a stuck-up rich boy kind of way, and he looks to be about Rey’s age. Then again, maybe she’s so desperate to feel less alone that any half-decent man would seem appealing.

She barely talks to Ben throughout their first three tutoring sessions. Rey expects him to disappear as soon as the novelty of visiting jail wears off, but he surprises her by coming back for a fourth lesson, then a fifth, a sixth. He’s impatient, awkward, and sarcastic to the point of rudeness, and Rey hates him a little. He radiates dissatisfaction, and what right does a boy like this have to be dissatisfied with his life?

Resenting Ben doesn’t stop her from looking forward to her GED lessons, though. They’ve become the highlight of her time.

They’re working on geometry today. Rey understood proofs two weeks ago, but there’s no fun in making this easy for him, so she asks Ben to elaborate, give new examples, walk her through it again.

“What do you play?” she asks. “Football?”

Ben looks up from the problem he was explaining to her. “What makes you think I play anything?”

She waves her hand toward his chest. “Guys aren’t built like that unless they’re working out or playing sports, and I’ve got a feeling you’d rather tackle someone than count push-ups. So is it football?”

Hot color spreads across Ben’s cheeks, and Rey almost smiles. She wasn’t expecting him to be bashful.

“I’m a swimmer,” he says. “Contact sports didn’t work out too well for me.”

She likes his voice. It’s deep and resonant, but uneven. Ben always sounds like he’s on the verge of saying more than he should, or perhaps shouting when it isn’t appropriate. It keeps her on her toes, wondering what he’s holding back. Thinking of him is a nice distraction to occupy herself with, when she isn’t eating slop or fighting off that Plutt bitch who keeps trying to steal her shit.

Rey leans forward, rests her chin on her crossed arms, and looks up at him. “Were you afraid of getting hurt? Or did you like hitting the other kids too much?”

Ben smiles, a small, nervous twitch at the corner of his full mouth. “Both,” he says.

He turns back to the geometry book, jots down a practice proof on a fresh sheet of paper, and pushes it toward her.

“Here,” Ben says. “Try this one.”

Ben tutors Rey every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoon through the middle of May. Between his volunteer work at the county jail, a free legal clinic, and the Mission, he scrapes together enough service hours to maintain his fellowship for next year.

Ben tells Rey that, since his semester is over, he’ll only be tutoring her for one more week.

“Oh,” Rey says. She fidgets with his compass, then starts dismantling it.

“I have to go home,” Ben says. “My family lives in D.C.”

He feels like a guilty child who’s been caught wrongdoing, whose excuses won’t hold up to scrutiny.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Rey says, still taking apart his compass. She unscrews its tiniest pieces and makes quick work of separating them.

“I know that. I just don’t want you to think I’m abandoning you.”

It sounds stupid out loud, and as soon as he hears himself, Ben wishes he could snatch his words right out of the air. Then Rey looks at him sharply. It’s hard to figure out what she’s thinking, but his declaration clearly hit a chord.

“Will you be back?” she asks. “When the new school year starts?”

He shouldn’t ask, but curiosity has been eating at him for six weeks, so Ben says, “I didn’t realize you’d still be here by August. How much time are you in for anyway?”

Rey’s expression hardens. “A year. I’ve served half my sentence.”

He bites the inside of his cheek to keep from asking anymore nosy questions, but Rey rolls her eyes and says, “Shoplifting.”

“What?”

She kicks his chair leg, and it startles Ben into sitting up straighter. “You want to know what got me locked up, right?”

Ben nods, then shakes his head. “Wait, you got a year for shoplifting?”

Her smile is too empty to be a smile at all. “Uh huh. It was my sixth charge, but it’s still pretty fucked up to dump me in here and throw away the key over a dollar and nine cents.”

If Rey didn’t look so serious, Ben would think she’s joking.

“How is that possible?” he asks.

She tells him about the circus of police officers and courts that prosecuted her for stealing apples. Ben can’t figure out how Rey is sitting there, casual and cool-headed while she explains that she’s been unjustly jailed for half a year.

“That’s--I didn’t know--”

Ben stops. He can’t find words strong enough to capture the ugliness of what’s being done to her, and there’s nothing he can say that will help. He reaches forward to take Rey’s hand, then remembers that he’s not allowed to do that. Touch is forbidden in this place, like all other creature comforts. It takes every bit of his discipline not throw his chair through a fucking window.

“This is disgusting,” he says. “You don’t deserve to be here.”

Rey bats the pieces of his compass across the table, stands up, and says, “If you think most of us deserve to be here, then you really don’t see the problem at all.”

She walks away, striding across the dilapidated library like she has somewhere to go. Like she has anywhere to go, caught in this cage like an animal.

When he gets home, Ben calls his mother.

Rey can’t sleep. She thinks about the parade of foster families that could never tolerate her for long, the ones that taught her a hard lesson: nothing lasts because nobody wants her.

It was stupid to trust Ben Organa. He’s from a different kind of world, one where there’s food on the table, a roof over his head, money to pay for tuition at a fancy school. Rey knew that Ben would never understand her, but she let him in anyway, and now he’s leaving. Going to D.C. to be with a family he probably doesn’t even appreciate.

Rey hums a song Ben taught her a few weeks ago, a simple tune to help her remember the quadratic equation. It doesn’t calm her enough for sleep, but she feels safer for having music muffled in the back of her throat.

A long time ago, in a town far away, Leia Organa was a lawyer. She climbed the political ladder up to Senator by the time Ben was fifteen, but he knows that it isn’t ambition that motivates her. His mother is the sort of leader who sought a stage so that she could see the injustices below her and do something about correcting them.

And she has a weakness for hopeless cases. It’s the reason why she’s never left her irresponsible husband; why she’s never given up on her difficult, volatile son.

So when he says, “There’s someone who needs your help,” Ben knows that it’s only a matter of time before his mother finds a way to make this right.

Yesterday morning, a counselor told Rey that an anonymous benefactor donated enough money to cover the cost of an electronic monitor. She’s released the next day, the shiny new monitor clasped around her ankle. It’s lighter than Rey expected, and even though it feels like a shackle, she’d much rather be chained than caged. She’s warned that if she breaks the monitor or leaves the county, then the GPS tracker will alert the authorities immediately.

Rey isn’t surprised when she finds Ben in the waiting area.

He hurries toward her and says, “I’m sorry I couldn’t come by yesterday, to tell you what was happening. I didn’t expect everything to move so fast--”

Rey throws her arms around him and buries her face against his shoulder. Ben is every bit as broad under her hands as he looks, and it makes her feel small and safe when he hugs her back. He smells clean, like fresh laundry and sunshine, and that’s what tears at her most. He smells well-cared for, and for the first time she’s glad instead of jealous that Ben has a place to wash his clothes, that he’s never been shut away from the sun.

“Thank you,” she whispers. Rey wants to say it louder--wants to laugh and maybe kiss him and shout her relief, because she’s free--but she knows that if she does, she’ll start crying.

Ben noticed Rey’s beauty the day they met, but he hadn’t allowed himself to reflect on it. She was trapped during their encounters, while he was free to come and go, and there were so many rules curtailing those lessons. Now they can talk without other inmates listening in, and they can spend more than three hours together in the same week. They can spend all day together, if she wants to; they can touch.

He takes Rey to his favorite diner and watches her put away a quarter-pound burger, a basket of fries, and a strawberry milkshake. She licks the salt from her fingers, smears ketchup across the corner of her mouth, and finishes her food within five minutes. She scrambles to eat, sloppy and hurried, and he wonders how long it’s been since she had a decent meal.

“Do you have anywhere to go?” Ben asks. “Friends or family you could stay with?”

Rey shakes her head.

He’d thought as much, and it’s almost a comfort to hear that Rey is alone. Ben would be angrier if she did have family, because the kind of parents who could leave her imprisoned over a one-dollar shoplifting charge would be worse than no parents at all.

“You could stay with me,” he says.

Rey looks at him, wide-eyed and tense, suddenly poised on the edge of her seat, like she’s already preparing to run.

That isn’t what he meant to say, even if it is what he wants, and Ben tries to explain. “I’ve got plenty of room, and I don’t mind staying here for the summer. You could crash with until you to get back on your feet.”

Rey scowls and crosses her arms over her chest. “I don’t need anymore of your charity.”

Ben bites back the nasty answer he wants to give: that beggars can’t be choosers, and her pride isn’t worth more than her life.

Cruelty comes to him so naturally; it’s a difficult truth that Ben has finally accepted, after twenty years of trying to overcome it. All he can do is reign in the malignity that lives within himself and act like a better man than he is.

So Ben breathes, grips the edge of the table, counts to ten. “I can help, if you’ll stop being stubborn and just let me.”

Rey won’t look at him now. Her voice sounds softer, her conviction weaker, when she says, “I’m not some pet project.”

Ben reaches across the table, but he stops short of taking her hand. “Look, you might have noticed that I’m kind of an asshole. Do you really think I’d offer you a place to stay out of pity?”

Rey bites her lip, holding her silence.

“Well I wouldn’t,” he says. “You need a friend, and--”

I do too.

Rey inches her fingers closer to his, until he feels safe enough to grasp her hand. Hard, probably too hard, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

Ben takes her to the park. It’s startling to see summer in full bloom, the sky bright and cloudless, the air sharp with the scent of mown grass. Rey was sentenced in November, after the trees were stripped bare by the cold, so the last time she saw the real world it was slipping toward winter weather. The jail yard didn’t count; it was drab and poorly tended, trampled under a thousand weary feet, more brown than green. And it was fenced in, the same as everything else there.

“I forgot what it was like to really be outside,” Rey says.

Ben squeezes her hand. He’s been holding it ever since they left the diner, only letting go when he has to. It should probably bother her, the way he’s clinging, but Rey can’t get enough. She’s been starved of touch for so long that it’s intoxicating to find someone who gives too much, too easily, too fiercely. It terrifies her, though, because Ben might want her to give as much back to him--soon, if not at this moment. What scares Rey even more is that she might not mind that.

They wander the park together, fingers entwined, close enough that Rey can feel the warmth of Ben’s strong body at her side. The world looks clearer and cleaner than it has in a long while: flowering, open, alive, and green, green, green.

#reylo #reylo fanfiction #star wars fanfiction #my fanfiction #oneshot #reylo modern au #modern au #rey #kylo ren #prompt fill #the price of apples in atlanta

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its-kiripima-to-you · 7 years

Note

All of the vaguely nsfw asks 💗

1. Are looks important in a relationship? Not really, I mean if they’re good looking that’s cool but it’s not the end all be all.

2. Are relationships ever worth it? I think so, yeah.

3. Are you a virgin? YEET

4. Are you in a relationship? YEAH BOIIII

5. Are you in love? I’M NOT GONNA HAVE THIS CONVERSATION RN XD

6. Are you single this year? Nah son

7. Can you commit to one person? Of course.

8. Describe your crush Perfection and all mine. My Kinzie.

9. Describe your perfect mate Someone who’s my lover and best friend who I can be open with. Someone who genuinely cares for me and is loyal.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? I do with food. Sometimes with people

11. Do you ever want to get married? Eventually

12. Do you forgive betrayal? Never

13. Do you get jealous easily?Sometimes yeah

14. Do you have a crush on anyone? My girl

15. Do you have any piercings? two in each lobe

16. Do you have any tattoos? Thinking about getting them

17. Do you like kissing in public? If it’s in good taste.

20. Do you shower every day? Most times, sometimes every other day.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? Yes

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Maybe?

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? I know I can.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? I have no clue but I’m no seer

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? I’m in one, hot shot.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? I don’t think so, I know I’ve said it.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? I don’t think so? This one boy named his Build-A-Bear Jackie Legs when we were 8 and I was uncomfortable as hell.

28. Have you ever been cheated on? Yes, and I fucking hate them.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone? Hell fucking no

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? lol no

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? yeh

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Yeah

33. Have you ever had sex with a man? No

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? No

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yeah

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? Yes

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Yep

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yup

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Yeeep

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? I wrote a fan fiction exposing them as the horrible person they were and it got popular and I don’t talk about it.

41. Have you had sex so far this year? What’s sex? Is that a plant?

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Tbh it really depends on the person, your comfort zones, and your connection and whatnot

43. How long was your longest relationship? 7 months

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 8 boyfriends 1 girlfriend (who I’m currently with)

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? My boyfriend at the time

46. How many times did you have sex last year? WHAT IS THIS SEX

47. How old are you? 19

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? K cool bye

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? WHY YOU MAKING ME PICK WHERE’S THE ALADDIN SWOONING GIF??? LIKE??? Her eyes, her dimples, her giggle, how her nose crinkles a little when she laughs, her eyebrows are fuckin bomb, i love her lips…

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? lol no, fuck off

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? My squad and my girl

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? Yeah, they were toxic

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Nah

54. Is there someone you will never forget? There are lots of peoples

55. Share a relationship story. Hot Topic, last week. Oh boy.

56. State 8 facts about your body I’m left handed, I have a baby gap between my two front teeth, I have a scar on my calf from a broken bike pedal, I have a scar on my forehead from a lifeguard’s teeth, I have size 13 (in women’s) feet, my eyebrows look like mad scientist brows if I don’t do them, my neck is super sensitive, I’m ticklish af

57. Things you want to say to an ex I don’t wanna talk to them tbh

58. What are five ways to win your heart? Bring me you and food, call me cute nicknames and give me attention, actually listen and remember what I say, gimme cuddles, make me laugh

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) or nahh

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? uhhhh…. 6 years?

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? lips, smile, eyes

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Well right now if they brought me some dinner xD Well honesty is pretty sexy and validating me and just loving me

63. What is your definition of “having sex”? WHAT IS A SEX… but for real it just varies from person to person

64. What is your definition of cheating? Y’all fuckin know what it is. Dating someone else/ Having the sexuals with someone else

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? YO THAT’S BETWEEN ME AND MY PARTNER

66. What is your favourite roleplay?Not tellin ya

67. What is your idea of the perfect date? Swing dancing, Diner Dinner, and a Drive-in movie

68. What is your sexual orientation? Bisexual with a preference for women

69. What turns you off? Lying, manipulation, being an asshole in the bad way, racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, fuckboys…

70. What turns you on? Praise from my partner, N E C K K I S S E S B O I, WHISPERED SWEET NOTHINGS, loyalty

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? the wettest dream I had was when I shoved Sebastian Stan into a water fountain in Central Park, Y’ALL AIN’T GONNA KNOW MAH SEX DREMS

72. What words do you like to hear during sex? Y’all ain’t gonna know

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? TAKE ME DANCING PLEASE ALSO LOVE ME UNCONDITIONALLY

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? Gewd lewks

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? My best friend took me in when I got kicked out

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?I don’t know tbh

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? IF IT’S LEGAL THEN OKAY

78. What’s your dirtiest secret? Idk?

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? wot

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? My baby brother a few days ago

81. Who are five people you find attractive? Kinzieeee, Sebastian Stan, Chris Evans, Tom Holland, Paul Rudd

82. Who is the last person you hugged? My grandmother

83. Who was your first kiss with? This dude who kissed me at homecoming

84. Why did your last relationship fail? HE WAS A HOE WHO TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? yeet.

#asked #answered #asks

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thomaspredestined-blog · 6 years

Text

They Shall Call Our Shame Emmanuel (Typed Sermon).

Here’s the transcript from the sermon I gave on February 18th, 2018.

The audio version is here.

I was supposed to start my new job this week. I was supposed to be standing before you with 40 hours of a good job under my belt, smiling and proud, knowing that I was finally out of the financial situation my wife and I had been in. That we could finally afford the finer things in life, like groceries and tithing and PBR. However, I’d gotten into legal trouble in my past that was supposed to have been expunged. Now, I’m dealing with courts and lawyers and judges in an attempt to get the paperwork required to prove that this stuff shouldn’t be on my record. 20 minutes into my new job, my career, mine and Stephanie’s future hopes and dreams, and I’m being asked to leave the building. You wanna talk about a tangible understanding of shame, I’m fairly certain that this hit harder than eating a brownie over the bathroom sink or being caught picking my nose or going to a public pool shirtless. I was broadsided on Monday when this happened and, to be honest, I still haven’t recovered. As a matter of fact, I’ve written this sermon four times through the course of this week, finally settling on this version yesterday afternoon.

I had the fleeting thought while walking home that I should just step off the sidewalk, in front of a MITS bus. That the life insurance policy that I have would be better for my wife, would help her out more, would be more beneficial to her than I was. I told my wife that I failed her. That I had failed us and our relationship. I told her I would understand if she left. She told me that I was an idiot.

I tried to call Josh as I walked the mile and some change back to my apartment. I wanted to tell him to write a sermon for this week. I wanted to tell him that I couldn’t do it. I wanted to tell him that because of what had happened, I wasn’t suited to speak here anymore. He didn’t answer.

I wanted to hide this and myself away from the world. I wanted to be left alone with my shame and suffering. But, I told people what had happened. I told them everything. About my past, about the 20 minutes at the new job, about the walk home, about how I felt. People cried with me. People offered prayers and baked goods and stories. People told me that they had felt the same thing. And, I found, the more I told people, the more that it resonated with them and the more they shared with me, the more I wanted to tell people. It was a weird cycle of community forming over heartache and consequences and shame.

I realize that this might be way too much to share in this format. I realize that I am probably making some people very uncomfortable right now. I can imagine that some of you are squirming. However, there might be someone in here who is dealing with a thing and maybe they need to hear this. Maybe they need to know that they’re not alone in their hurt or their suffering or their shame. For those that are uncomfortable, I’m sorry. For those that need to hear this, I know your pain. For those that need to hear this, you are seen exactly where you are.

I’m sure it’s merely a coincidence that last week, we began looking at shame. Like Josh and I talked about we looked at shame through the lens of Genesis, the Adam story. It’s where this whole thing starts off and it’s where we first see shame introduced in the narrative. That idea, shame, then gets carried through the remainder of the text.

There’s thousands of years worth of history happening between the Old Testament and the birth of the Christ. And there’s people and shame and sin and suffering and the desire to step into traffic. There’s 39 books between the start of the world and the Christ. That’s 39 books full of people who sat in, and with, their shame and suffering. That’s 39 books of people who wanted to step into traffic. That’s 39 books of people that know exactly how you feel right now, in this moment. 39 books of people who didn’t know what to tell their spouse, or parents, of friends. 39 books of people saying, “I’m fine,” while swallowing all of the words they really wanted to say. 39 books of people trying not to scream, “I need help. I need comfort. I need peace."

From Adam and Eve, we get sons and daughters and they have sons and daughters and then they have sons and daughters and so on for generation after generation.

(And we’re not given any indication or description about how these people look. I wanna go through some of these giant Old Testament figures, give you an idea as to who they were once you step outside the cute children’s stories, and I wanted to put faces to the names.)

The world becomes full of bad people. Awful, evil, wicked, vile people. So, God goes to a man named Noah, says build a boat. A real sweet boat. Noah thinks he’s gonna be living that Lonely Island life and agrees. God tells Noah to put two of every animal on the boat and to make a few rooms for his family. Noah does all of this, making the SS End Of The World, loading it full of platypus (platypi?) and emus and highland cows and munchkin kitties. The floodgates open up on earth and the rain pours down from the heavens and they all spend months together, sailing the high seas. Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of whatever passed for rum in those days.

As soon as everything is dead, except those that are on the boat with Noah, the Earth dries up, they dock on the side of a mountain, and start rebuilding the world. Noah, being a farmer originally, decides to plant a vineyard and makes himself a few bottles of Pinot. Noah gets blitzed one night, really ties it on, and gets naked in his tent. Something happens between him and his youngest son, Ham (best name ever, by the way), and Ham, father of Canaan is cursed by Noah.

I don’t know about y’all, but I have some body issues. I mentioned my anti-shirtless public pool stance. I sleep in gym shorts and a t-shirt because I’m even ashamed of my wife seeing me naked. I’m soft as rotted fruit around my midsection and lumpy and doughy everywhere else. Plus, there’s the hair factor. So much awkward hair on my back and tumtum. Go ahead and keep the donut you just ate down with that awful mental image.

That being said, if someone stumbled into my room and saw me drunk and naked, I don’t know that I would curse them and their lineage. But, something happened in that tent that led to Noah cursing Ham and Canaan to the point where that curse is fulfilled when the Israelites finally go into the land of Canaan and slaughter every man, woman, child, and animal.

You gotta know real shame to lay that kinda curse down. And that curse gets passed from generation to generation, as Noah’s kids have kids and those kids have kids and those kids have kids. On and on it goes, descendent’s begetting descendent’s begetting descendent’s.

We come to a man named Abram, there’s a whole lot going on with this dude. He ends up being the father of Israel. But, prior to that actually happening, God calls to him in the night and tells him to take his wife and leave all of his family behind. So, Abram packs up his tent and his sandals and his cattle and his slaves and charges his iPod and he and his wife Sarai take everything they own and hit the road. They get to the plain of Moreh and God speaks to him again, telling him that this is his land. Abram builds a couple of altars, and because of a famine, decides to head south into Egypt for a little bit.

It’s in Egypt that Abram prostitutes his wife out of fear. He thinks that the Egyptians will kill him and steal Sarai if they know they are married, so he goes around saying, “See this hot gal? She’s my sister. I got me a smokin’ hot sister.” Definitely not the kinda south that we’re used to. There, sister and wife are usually synonymous. Pharaoh hears there’s this dime piece traveling with her brother and he decides to buy her. Because, you know, that’s how you find love. He offers Abram sheep, oxen, donkeys, slaves, and camels, and Abram accepts. Pharaoh takes Sarai into his house, if’n you catch the Bible’s drift. And to think, I had to hit up every bar in a two hour radius to find my wife. Should have invested in oxen, as opposed to Tinder Plus.

Here’s the crazy part, God gets mad at Pharaoh for this and puts a plague on him and his entire family. Pharaoh somehow learns that this gal he just paid a small fortune for is actually Abram’s wife, so he brings Abram to him to question why he would sell his wife off like he did. Abram shrugs his shoulders and, in an effort to be done with this, Pharaoh sends Abram out of the land with Sarai and all the wealth he’d given for her.

It’s hard enough going on a long trip with your spouse. Imagine just how much more difficult it becomes when the trip home involves the conversation of “Why did you sell me to the dude with the funny hat and fake goatee?”

God appeared to Abram. Promised him that he would be the father of God’s chosen people. Promised him that the land he initially settled in would be his. And Abram decides to head south where he ends up selling his wife and causing death to a group of people.

But, you know, I have trouble sleeping at night because I didn’t get a job that I wanted when I wanted it. I beat myself up constantly over the poor decisions that I’ve made. I was so ashamed that I wanted to walk into traffic because I thought no one could understand.

Generations pass. The sons of Abram, now Abraham, descendent of Noah’s family, became the people of Israel. They want a king and God gives them Saul. Saul’s kingship falls to David. And David, he’s a man of the people. A peasant boy who makes a name for himself in battle with a slingshot and a handful of rocks.

David, as king, has a bout of insomnia and starts wandering around on the roof of his palace. While stargazing and looking out of the city of Jerusalem, he sees a woman bathing on the roof of her house. He thinks she’s just the bee’s knees, so he sends some of his men to KIDNAP her. He takes her into his house (if’n you catch the Bible’s drift, once more) and she becomes pregnant. This is all well and good, because David’s the king of Israel. The anointed head of God’s people. Well, except that this woman has a husband. David ends up masterminding a plan to have her husband sent to the front lines of the hardest battle, where he would surely die. And he takes this new, pregnant widow as his wife.

Once more, years and generations go by. People have kids and Israel is shamed and redeemed and conquered and freed and the cycle goes on and on.

And then…Jesus.

Jesus was born fully man and fully God. He was human and divine. And as such, he had the full range of the human experience. He was born to a poor family in a poor town. He would have learned the trade of his father, and lived with them until he began his ministry. And, since Joseph was a carpenter, so would Jesus have been. However, as his family was from Nazareth, a town of about 400, there wouldn’t have been jobs for carpenters, so it’s very likely that Jesus would have walked the five-ish miles to Sepphoris, the seat of Herod Antipas’ power, to ply his trade.

During the first century, Herod Antipas, “The Fox,” as he was known for his cunning, was on a massive building spree. He, and the wealthy residents, flaunted their wealth and allegiance to Rome by building massive homes, mansions, with all the trappings of modern life. Jesus would have been one of the poor migrant workers who would have had to build these estates to put food on the table for his family.

And being fully human, knowing the human experience, Jesus would have, theoretically, felt the crushing weight of the classist society that he lived in. He would have known shame, standing in a luxurious home, and wondering why he couldn’t give that to his mother. Why his father had to sweat and bleed and work while the people who lived in these homes lounged and gave orders? He would have walked back to the one room apartment that he shared with his mom and dad and siblings and goats and, possibly, felt shame that he could not have afforded the same niceties he’d built.

He would have become his father’s apprentice somewhere around age 12. That gives him a full 18 years of building, working with his hands, seeing the extremes of wealth and poverty, before he came into his ministry. And once he began going about and preaching, a woman named Joanna was with him. Joanna was the wife of Cuza, who was Herod’s steward. Steward is just a super fancy was of saying he managed Herod Antipas’ estate. So, we have this woman of means and wealth, who’s husband works for Herod Antipas, the man responsible for the buildings Jesus would have worked on, paying Jesus’ bills as he went from town to town, preaching and teaching.

Can you begin to process that, and then imagine what that would have felt like? Jesus, son of God, relying on someone’s wife to pay his bills, and she got her money from someone who stood for what Jesus was preaching against?

I get anxiety when my parents loan me money. I can’t imagine getting money from someone who I stand in direct opposition to. If Joel Osteen, Larry the Cable Guy, or Eddie Vedder were to give me money, I would probably want a bleach shower and then sit in the dark trying to figure out where exactly I went wrong in life. I would be ashamed taking and spending their money. The punk rock kid that lives in my heart would scream “SELL OUT!”

So, Jesus would have had all of these mixed up emotions in him. He would have been caught in this weird place of knowing some sort of external shame, or the shame placed on him by his culture. He would have felt the weight of expectations and how, on some level, he wasn’t meeting them.

He has his ministry. He is going from town to town, city to city, community to community, preaching the Kingdom. Telling people about this upside down, flipped version of life that he’s ushering in. This world where the least, those that are shamed and marginalized and pushed to the edges, rule at his side.

He’s calling people to step out of the cultural norms that they’ve been living in, he’s calling the lame and the persecuted and the exploited and subjugated into a life where their shame is their strength. He’s calling people full of vulnerabilities and weaknesses and people who have known, lived, sat in suffering into an experience, a movement, where these things no longer define their lives, but their lives are enriched because of these things.

Josh preached about what the healings of Jesus show us. He’s ushering people who were pushed the edges, forced to live in their shame, back into the fold. He was giving them the opportunity to know community without shame. Without the external indicators of their inward transgressions, as the community understood it. He was giving these people peace.

And, as he and his disciples and the crowds following him grew and grew and grew, he walked on towards Jerusalem. Coming into the city, proclaiming peace.

It’s here in Jerusalem that Jesus begins to teach during the time of Passover. We can’t begin to comprehend how big this would have been. The American church gets flooded with people on Easter and Christmas. The numbers here double. Those are national holy-days. As an American, it is your patriotic duty to be in church on one of those two holidays, if not both.

Passover would have been the same thing, except the temple at Jerusalem was THE church. It was the place to be. People travelled from all over the country of Judea to the temple at Jerusalem to offer sacrifices, experience the party, and join in the blessing of the sacrifices.

Thousands upon thousands upon thousands would have been present to hear Jesus teach. They would have heard him deliver his subversive, counter-culture, anti-Empire, politically charged message. They would have basked in his glory. They would have exalted him and regaled him with the praise he is due.

And it would have been exhausting. He retreats to the upper room with the twelve. His chosen brethren. His community of brothers. Those that have walked the miles with him. Those that have eaten with him, slept next to him, showered with him, known him. And, when it’s just them, he tells them one will betray him. He tells Peter he would deny him.

Then he eats with them. With the weight of anxiety and shame working through each of them. Who would betray him? Why would Peter deny him?

He goes from being with thousands, to being with the twelve. And finally, we get to the text for today:

Luke 22:39-44

Jesus came out of the room. Then He went to the Mount of Olives as He had been doing. The followers went with Him. When He got there, He said to them, “Pray that you will not be tempted.” He walked away from them about as far as a stone can be thrown. There He got down with His face on the ground and prayed. He said, “Father, if it can be done, take away what must happen to Me. Even so, not what I want, but what You want.” An angel from heaven came and gave Him strength. His heart was much troubled and He prayed all the more. Water ran from His face like blood and fell to the ground.

Thousands, to the twelve, to three, to alone.

We see Jesus, full of human emotions, full of shame, self-doubt, fear, anxiety, begging God to take this from him. Begging God because he doesn’t feel adequate, he doesn’t feel strong, he doesn’t feel capable of doing the thing that he is to be doing.

There is no more human an emotion expressed to me in the Gospels than right here. This is every single day of my life, I feel. This is every struggle, hardship, pain, shameful moment of my life.

God, please, do not make me do this. God, please, give me another way. God, please, take this from me.

Here we are not only given insight into Jesus feeling fear, externalized shame and anxiety, but we also see his broken vulnerability. Jesus is pleading with God, begging the Father to give him an out. Here we have a scared Christ who does not want to go through with whatever is coming down the pipe for him. And, not only is this an example of how we are to pray, this is an example of how we are to be. This is the human condition summed up in a few verses. This is daily life for some.

I don’t care where you are in your life, where you are in this moment, because we have all been where the Christ was in this passage. We have isolated ourselves, we have been face down begging for something to change. We have all had that overwhelming sense of shame and anxiety and fear and dread.

We know the rest of this story.

The temple leaders and the Roman guards come and take him away. They beat him. They take him before Pilate who sends him to Herod. The same Herod who’s manager’s wife is footing the bill for the past three years of Jesus’ ministry. To both, Jesus keeps quiet. To both, he sits with the shame that is thrown on him. To both, he acquiesces. Herod sends him back to Pilate. Pilate begs the people to allow him to release the Christ.

He’s marched to the hill, with a stranger carrying his cross, and he’s crucified. His clothes are torn from him and given away. He’s hung between two “lestes,” which is the same word used for the kind of people that Jesus kicks out of the temple when he storms it.

As he’s hanging, naked, bleeding, having insults hurled at him, he once more begs the Father, but this time is to forgive these people.

He dies. Is placed in a tomb. And three days later, he’s resurrected to physically join God as the signpost to a completed creation.

As we spoke last week, if ALL of this came from the what was, the singularity for those who believe in the Big Bang or the word and mind of the Creator God, then Christ’s suffering and shaming existed alongside the Garden story. Christ’s suffering and shaming existed alongside your story.

I made a handful of calls on my mile and some change walk back to my apartment this Monday. One of those calls was made to Jarrod, from Guardian Brewing Company. He just so happened to be at the brewery and asked me to stop by. Jarrod, for all intents and purposes, is a non-believer. Yet, as I felt the shame welling, along with the tears, Jarrod offered me comfort. He told me a story about something stupid he’d done in his past and how it came back years later. He shared in my suffering and shame, by bringing his own to the light.

Kyle, another friend, cried on the phone with me after I’d left Guardian. He told me that he felt like he was letting his wife down every single day that they struggle in the kitchen for 24 hours straight. He told me that he felt like he was letting his wife down every time they had to decide which bill to pay and which they could float for another month. He told me that he knew what I was going through and he would be there for me through it.

When I finally worked up the courage to call my wife, I was afraid it was the last time I talked to her. But, she said she understood. She said that she had felt that way. She said that we would get through this, together. She said she didn’t care about the money. She said she didn’t marry me because I might land a good paying job one day. She said that she loved me. Exactly where I was in that moment.

This is what the crucifixion story is to me. It is the suffering and shamed figure of Jesus, with arms, quite literally, outstretched, saying, “Come to me. I understand. I have been there, brother.”

I’ve always had a hard time digesting the crucifixion story. Going so far as to write this in my journal when Josh and I first started talking about me doing this series:

I think it’ll readily apparent that I wrote this somewhere else, at some point earlier in time. I don’t think anyone here believes that I’m making this up on the spot (he says as he holds paper in his hands, clearly reading), nor do I think anyone believes I wrote this this morning before walking over from my apartment. Does anyone even own a printer anymore? C’mon.

So, to speak to the writing of this. During it’s writing, I’m sitting in The Cafferinery. It’s a few days before Christmas. Josh texted me last night about ripping a hole in the crotch of his favorite pants. There’s a duo of college age girls sitting at the table to the right of me, drinking a variety of things (coffee, cappuccino, water) and discussing the importance of cross-fit and kale water. To my left are a group of elderly folks. They’re discussing matters of health and politics and things well above and beyond my limited understanding. A mother with her daughter are at the counter, ordering pastries for breakfast and something decaf for the daughter. A Mariah Carey Christmas album is playing just a little too loudly. It’s that strange volume where I can hear it, so you know, they should turn it down. The senate has just passed their tax plan. The most recent tragedy hasn’t happened, yet. And I’m arguing with a pastor over the internet on what the Kingdom of God truly is.

I do not want to give this sermon. I do not want to sit in this place, at this time, and write these words. I struggle with them still. Months after writing them. I wrote last week’s sermon during the same week as this one, but I had no struggle in writing that. It was fun. It was enjoyable. Anytime I get to call my wife a “cat hoarder,” well, that’s a good time for me. Any time that I get to speak to shame as it relates to the Garden story truly resonates with me.

But, this message. These words. These ideas. This will be a struggle for me.

You see, today, today we’re talking about the crucifixion and resurrection of the Christ, and what that means for our shame. And, if I’m being honest with you, I struggle with this concept on a daily basis. If you meet me on the street, or if you meet me where I am when writing this, at a coffee shop, with, as Josh says, “My fancy coffee,” which is just an African pour-over, chances are we will talk about everything under the sun, except for the crucifixion and resurrection.

Up until this point in history, looking at the major world religions, any deity that has descended to earth has done so for selfish reasons. Odin, according to Norse legend, hung himself on the world tree, sacrificed himself, not for his people, but so he could gain the wisdom of the runes. He gave up his eye for wisdom, too. Zeus came down from Olympus to sleep with whoever he found to be attractive. Pharaohs were gods who came to earth to rule and build and wield power to suit their own whims. But, the Christ, he came to die for us. At our hands. Because of our will.

This does not sit well with me. That this was part of the plan. That after centuries of blood sacrifices, God could not come up with a better plan. That one more bloodletting was required. The final sacrifice. God required one more offering of spilt blood, one more broken body. What am I to do with this? How do I teach this?

Two months ago, I had it all wrong. Two days ago, I was still struggling with this. The crucifixion is the story of one who is fully man and fully divine, living the human experience, feeling the pressures of society and culture and control. It’s the story of a man who would have felt fear and anxiety and known shame and suffering. Just so you don’t have to feel those things alone.

It’s God kneeling to skin the animal and clothe Adam and Eve.

It’s Jarrod sharing his story with me.

It’s Josh telling me to write this sermon.

It’s my dad who checked up on me every single day this week.

It’s my boss, Corey, at the bar who gave me a hug.

It’s my wife telling me that I’m an idiot.

The crucifixion is the ultimate act of solidarity and comfort. It’s the final, “I feel you. I see you.”

It’s that spirit that I want us to bring into this time of communion. We have the juice and the bread up here. We are so dang fancy, we even have a gluten free option. This meal is us entering into a story that’s larger than we can begin to understand. It’s us entering into something that has slightly different meanings and applications for each of us.

Today, right now, as those who are serving come forward, and as the band takes the stage…

We take the bread, the body of Christ, which was broken to understand how you are broken. This isn’t just day-old bread from a local bakery, this is the physical representation of the co-suffering love of the Christ. This is the physical representation of the lengths God went to in an effort to show understanding and compassion. This is, once more, God kneeling to comfort our shame. This is God coming to where we are, meeting us in this place, to offer us peace.

We take the juice, the blood of Christ, which was spilled to cover us. Millions of gallons of blood were spilled during the Jewish sacrificial system but not even a drop offered tangible comfort. For thousands of years, blood was poured out over the altar as atonement for sin, shame, to end suffering, to bring rain and a plentiful harvest. But, the blood of the Christ was spilt to meet you in this place. To share in your story of suffering and shame.

Today, right here, this very moment, in this very place, you can let it go. Your shame. Your suffering. Christ has carried that Cup for you already. He joined in this mess to tell you that he gets it. He was beaten, broken, and killed to show you that there is peace and hope and comfort. He was raised to see and know you in this moment.

Josh is gonna come out and pray for us and then you are invited to partake in communion as you feel called…

#sermon #faith #jesus #christ #crucifixion #doubt #suicide #fear #anxiety #shame #eucharist #communion #community #muncie #indiana

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