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fernsnailz · 3 months

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February 2024 Review Roundup

well i sure did watch some stuff and read one book this month

the things i finished this month reminded me that for every incredible piece of art i find myself enjoying, i end up watching some Hot Garbage immediately after to balance things out again. idk why i do this.

i have quite a bit to say about both the things i enjoyed and the things that brought me physical pain this month, so there is um. a lot under the cut. any previous desire for brevity i had in january has been completely thrown out the window as i use these roundups as an outlet to gush about things i like and complain about things i didn't. fair warning, if you open the readmore you will be scrolling for a while. enjoy i guess

House of Leaves

does any other book out there have the balls to write a completely fake interview with stephen king

House of Leaves is a novel you gotta throw around a little bit. It feels really weird that my copy is still in the pristine state I bought it in - It seems like it should have water damage and smell like mildew with its pages falling out and spine cracked into pieces. Getting the full story from this book requires flipping back and forth, turning it around, searching for answers. All things considered it’s not that difficult of a read, but its format still allows you to feel like you’re discovering every hidden piece for yourself, and I really liked that interactivity. I was engaged pretty much the whole way through.

I don’t really think I’ll be able to revisit this book anytime soon though. It’s difficult for me to format what else I’d like to say about it because to be honest, it caught me off guard and disturbed me on a fairly personal level. There’s a relief I feel when I remember that I don’t actually know what was going on with the house - maybe that was intentional on the book’s behalf, maybe I just didn’t look hard enough for answers. I don’t know. But the implication that something divine was down there was enough of an answer for me. The book's good. read it if you want a spooooooky time or if you never want to look at a hallway the same way again

Doctor Who (Series 1-4) (rewatch)

ok so this is a fuckload of doctor who to cover so i’m gonna give some thoughts on a few of the characters and my favorite + least favorite episodes

9th doctor: My favorite butch lesbian. Christopher Eccleston truly embodies the concept of The Doctor so, so well: otherworldly guy who knows too much, genuinely cares about life across the universe, and also has a bit of deep, unresolved rage. His moments of joy and careless fun stick with me the most, he absolutely radiates with life and brings so much to this character.

Rose: I first watched Doctor Who when I was in middle school, and I didn’t like Rose that much back then. And guys. I have bad news. I'm still not really much of a Rose fan

I definitely understood her more this watch through - that desire for adventure and some sort of control over her life, emotions so strong that she’s willing to throw near everything away. That’s just what being 19 is like sometimes. I think Rose is a very compelling character who just happens to frustrate me a bit. And that’s kinda the point, her co-dependent relationship with the Doctor is doomed to fail and it's meant to hurt. Ultimately, I think when I first watched the show I was too young to understand Rose, and now I’m just too old to relate to her.

Captain Jack: Jack is my favorite character. I fucking love this guy. Dude has the worst luck in the whole universe and still cannot be stopped. Legendary. Every episode with him is a goddamn delight because he has so much chemistry with every single cast member. No notes 10/10 i love my problematic bisexual king

10th doctor: About four episodes into David Tennant’s run I realized that he dresses like a Hazbin Hotel character and it made me very sad. Still, there’s a reason this guy inspired every middle schooler to buy a pair of converse in 2008. He has style, he has depth, he’s got the sauce. It’s genuinely terrifying to see his anger, I like that a lot of 10’s run is about his denial of godhood and power over life in the universe, something that the rest of the time lords desired. idk i like my sad pathetic little weasel but he's also a huge fucking asshole sometimes which sucks. especially when it's directed at Martha.

Martha: Martha I am so sorry for what this show put you through. Martha was my favorite companion when I first watched the show, and I still have a huge soft spot for her. Her ability to hold her own and navigate foreign worlds using her own intelligence absolutely rules, and her drive forward is unbreakable. But the show seems to put her down at every possible opportunity, most notably with how 10 treats her. Her struggles and wants are constantly ignored, and she's often treated as a rebound from Rose. And I like that she eventually chooses to end it by not traveling with 10 anymore, but it hurts because it feels like she was never given the same chance or care that Rose and Donna were. This era of Doctor Who really doesn’t treat its black companions well because Mickey goes through something similar - both Martha and Mickey are characters designed to be ignored or left behind, and it sucks.

Donna: Donna Noble is one of the greatest fictional characters to ever exist. Despite seemingly living a fairly average life and working a fairly average job, Donna reflects the idea that no one is truly "average" and every single person is brimming with personality, life, and love. I love that her relationship with 10 is purely platonic, personally their friendship feels like it has a lot more depth than either of the romance-oriented relationships 10 had with Rose and Martha. 10 and Donna bounce off of each other so well and it's delightful, Donna brings so much humor and life to every world she's taken to and it's incredible. I wish her and Captain Jack could have interacted more.

My favorite episode: The Runaway Bride is hard to not choose as my favorite. I have a blast every time I watch this episode and it’s such a good introduction for Donna. Also the Tardis car chase kills me, I love when it cuts to the kids in the back of another car clapping and cheering. I was also surprised by the episode Midnight - it’s dreadful to watch and I kinda loved it. So much spirals out of control when shit hits the fan, even though no one has any idea what they’re trying to fight against. Really interesting exploration as to how fear can drive people apart.

My least favorite episode: It’s Love & Monsters. I wish I liked this episode - stories that follow regular ass people living in this world are often some of the best episodes in the series (Weeping Angels and all that). And this episode definitely has some of that. It’s honestly really touching to see this group of nerds get together and enjoy life in the first part of the episode. I think the antagonist of “guy who absorbs people” ends up dragging down any charm this story had because he just. eats all of the interesting characters. But despite me disliking this episode, I honestly have a deep respect for it - it’s fucking crazy. It ends with the main guy telling us about his sex life with his girlfriend who is now stuck in a piece of concrete. Where else are you going to get a story like this. It fucking sucks and that’s hilarious

oh also the production design: GODDDDDD I FUCKING LOVE THE PRODUCTION DESIGN AND SETS ON THIS SHOW. I love how dirty and rundown a lot of the spaceship sets look with wires and lights scattered everywhere. And a number of alien designs also go CRAZY with the prosthetics - I keep thinking about the Hath from The Doctor’s Daughter and how every head prosthetic had liquid inside it that could bubble. Absolutely crazy. I also love the moments where you can clearly see they did not have that much time and just had to throw something together or pain a bald cap green. Jank is the nature of sci-fi production design and I dearly love and miss that Doctor Who jank.

Rebuild of Evangelion

Last year after finishing the original Evangelion series + End of Evangelion, I remember going through the Evangelion tumblr tag and being very confused by the number of slice of life/found family-esque fanworks of the cast. It left me puzzled and thinking “...did we even watch the same thing??”

APPARENTLY NOT

[spoiler warning here because these movies are very good and i give the best parts away. if you want to watch these movies then DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!]

I honestly never expected a world where these characters got a happy ending. I so, so badly wish I could see 3.0 and 3.0+1.0 in theaters - these movies are stunning. I know I say things “go crazy” a lot, but man. They go fucking CRAZY.

While I have a few issues with how the first two movies adapted the original show, I do think the changes they made better serve the story this rebuild is trying to tell. For example, my favorite episode in the original Eva series is episode 18, where Toji is chosen to pilot Unit 03. It’s absolutely terrifying because Shinji doesn’t know who 03’s pilot is, yet he’s forced to be inside Unit 01 as it tears 03 apart. His resolve not to kill anyone despite not even knowing who’s in danger is an aspect of that episode I love and speaks to Shinji's inherent humanity, and when he learns Toji was in there it hurts even more. The rebuild movies change Unit 03’s pilot to Auska, and Shinji knows she’s in there from the start. I think this choice works for the movies and is still an effective emotional beat, but personally I still prefer the version where Shinji had no idea who was in there. That lack of knowledge is infinitely more terrifying to me.

I really like what these movies did with some of the angel designs though. The sixth angel (the fuckin. blue diamond cube thing) works really well in 3D/CG animation. The way the thing warps and moves is otherly and terrifying - and it’s just a fucking cube. I’ve always really loved how the Eva series approaches angel designs and the divine - despite the alien-like designs, there’s often something extremely familiar about them. They’re often reminiscent of an animal, a machine, or a human. This is also how they approached the anti-universe in these movies, I loved how it takes the form of various locations from the series and turns them into a movie set. It’s deeply familiar, but ultimately just an illusion of familiarity like the angels and the divine.

Also I gotta say. I fucking love Mari. I think she’s hilarious. She first meets Shinji by accidentally parachuting into him and then immediately starts crawling on all fours to sniff him. This girl also introduces “Beast Mode” where the Eva pilots can go wild turn their mechs into a fucking. superpowered beast of some sort. And also she defeats a whole army by using the Eiffel Tower as a spear. She’s such an absurd character and I honestly kinda love it. The only thing I knew about these movies before watching them was this gif of her Backing That Shit Up and she truly lives up to the insane nature of this shot.

My favorite section of these movies is definitely the first part of 3.0+1.0 where the pilots are basically just living a domestic life in a small town - it’s truly beautiful. The growth that Rei’s copy goes through here is fantastic, I love stories about seemingly emotionless beings learning how to live. And right after she dies, we get the shot that absolutely broke me the first time I saw it:

This shit. The way you can just barely tell he’s been crying from the red around his eyes. They don't talk about it, they barely linger on it, but it's allowed just enough time to punch you in the gut. I don’t know why this shot got me as hard as it did but goddamn. jesus christ. i want to throw up

There’s some goofy shit in these movies. The infinite synch rate. Misato’s stupidass hat and sunglasses. Some goofy ass 3D animation that doesn’t age super well. The rainbow that shows up every time an angel dies. But these things really didn’t take me out of the core of these films, and there’s so much genuine emotion and beauty in this series that had me absolutely hooked - especially in the last two films. They go crazy. My favorite line is 100% “The only thing a son can do for his father is pat him on the shoulder… or kill him.” and man. ain’t that what Evangelion is all about. i love these movies

High School Musical 3

kinda slaps just a little bit

High School Musical 3 starts with a finale number. The last high school basketball game of Troy Bolton’s life - and it goes kinda hard. The classic pep band brass that’s essential to so many High School Musical numbers returns, and the constant theme of two feuding cheer teams in the background? Genius. This is truly art. I love listening to Now or Never without visuals because in the middle Troy just starts coughing and gagging seemingly out of nowhere

Unfortunately, starting the movie at such a high point means that the rest of the runtime doesn’t quite match up to it. The story lags and meanders quite a bit, but part of me kinda appreciates that - it’s their last semester of high school, which is always a time of confusion and turmoil. However, I do have a pitch for how they could have countered the constant falling action this movie seems to go through:

The Wildcats should have lost their last game at the beginning of the movie.

What if the game is instead the inciting incident that leads Troy and his besties through their tumultuous last semester? Troy is still torn between basketball and theater, but his identity would be even further challenged here - is winning and success all that matters for him, or is it the love of sport and performance that keeps him going? idk whatever this movie came out 16 years ago i can’t be out here writing AUs for it jgnfsgfnjdksg

Some miscellaneous thoughts about this movie that i don’t care about formatting into larger paragraphs:

Ryan and Sharpay’s number (I Want It All) slaps as usual. The part where Ryan shouts “MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!!!!!!” makes me so happy every time i hear it

The production design and sets go absolutely fucking crazy. I still have no idea how they pulled off the spinning hallway in Scream.

One of the classic staples of HSM is Chad’s shirts. Most of them are fairly silly and like something you would expect to find in the walmart clearance section. However, there’s one shirt he has in this movie that confused the hell out of me. It’s this one:

What the FUCK does Greenster mean. Is it just a combination of Green and Monster?? Why??? What green monster are we talking about here????? Where the fuck did this shirt come from?????????

Avatar The Last Airbender (2024)

There’s really only one word I can think of to describe what this show is like: sauceless. No flavor. No depth. No character. No sauce. This show is honestly so fucking boring and seems to fundamentally misunderstand what the appeal of the original Avatar series is - not necessarily because things are changed or removed from the original, but because nothing of substance is added in return.

Most of the characters are mere echoes of their original counterparts when compared to their source material. Sokka is reduced to a guy who wants to fight good, Katara’s stubborn and confrontational nature is very rarely utilized, and Aang’s mischievous antics and love of fun is sorely missing. One of the major reasons for the dull interpretations seems to be the directing - While I have faith that most of these actors are trying their best (especially since a number of them are kids/young adults), the direction seems to be incredibly lackluster and takes away nearly every cast member’s stage presence or personality. There’s a number of reaction shots of the main trio that just look like this: 😐😐😐 as if they were just told to “look concerned” at the events unfolding before them. And these issues are apparent in the majority of the performances - for example, General Zhao talks like he’s in a board meeting up until the last episode, and it’s an incredibly flat performance. He talks somewhat monotone in the original series as well, but this live-action take on the character often meanders with his dialogue and lacks that sharp, terrifying quality that I think this character needs. Uncle Iroh also feels incredibly stiff in this adaptation, and it’s a goddamn crime that they took away the cunty little outfit and chains he was originally wearing when he gets captured by earthbenders. wait who said that

Credit where credit is due, there’s a few cast members that seem to be giving their best. It’s clear that Aang’s actor enjoys the role and does pretty well despite the lackluster direction and dialogue he’s given. On top of that, I think Zuko’s actor is honestly the best part of the show. His take on Zuko leans much more into teenage tendencies and sarcasm, which, although it can be silly, is a welcome take of the character in my opinion and pretty fun to watch. There’s this one line he has at the beginning of episode 2 where, in an incredibly whiny tone of voice, he goes “He RAN! The ultimate warrior! He’s a Coward :((((“ and the read is so. fucking funny

The case of bad direction isn’t limited to the performances, however. It’s also stunningly apparent in how everything is shot. Despite being in a widescreen format, most shots are incredibly centered - you could crop the entire runtime into a 4:3 frame and you wouldn’t be cutting out much of anything. I’ve seen some speculation that this was an intentional choice to make things more adaptable or readable for TikTok/phone video, but honestly I think that’s a dumb take. I think the issue stems from a lack of creativity and thoughtless composition. Keeping everything staged in the center can make shots feel disjointed, lacking much depth, or completely empty. It’s a boring way to shoot and indicates that the show lacks any unique vision at all.

Overall, this show doesn't really seem to understand what makes Avatar interesting in the first place. It's more interested in spectacle and action than the characters' relationships, emotions, and mistakes. I try not to compare it too much to the original since it's allowed to take liberties with its adaptation, but very few of its changes add much to the end result or give it a unique voice. It's just sauceless and boring.

Some YouTube videos i liked in February:

💥 My House.WAD - Inside Doom's Most Terrifying Mod (some supplemental House of Leaves material for ya) 💥 Martha Jones Deserved Better (this video explains how Doctor Who did Martha dirty better than i ever could) 💥 bringing JUSTICE to the worst garfield game 💥 Selling Kids for Clout: The Downfall of Family Channels

And that’s my roundup for February! Thank you for reading, I promise there are no more reviews left to scroll through below this goodbye. Nope, nothing else I watched this month. Bye!

…ok is everyone gone. phew, i’m glad no one noticed i pulled an hbomberguy and hid the largest part of this post under a false ending. Anyway holy shit i need to talk about hazbin hotel

Hazbin Hotel

well i didn’t like it

Hazbin Hotel is a weird, fascinating mess of a show. Every episode left me wondering what creative decisions (or lack thereof) led to the sequence of images I just watched. There’s been a lot of discussion of this show recently and I’m not interested in covering every critique I have, but there’s a few things that I'd like to talk about somewhat in-depth.

Hell is real and it's just Red Chicago

The setting of Hell is kinda boring in this show.

Let me try to put this into perspective. Aside from the hotel, here’s a list of the locations we see in Hell:

A boardroom

A video store

Vox’s evil lair (it has cyber sharks which is kinda cool)

Various streets

Another boardroom

A BDSM club

Carmilla’s house (it’s gray and has. balconies?)

A porn studio

A bar

Another bar

A town square (full of cannibals)

None of these locations really take on any sort of otherworldly form besides some vague demonic imagery scattered throughout (and the cannibals. i guess. whatever). In short, Hazbin Hotel’s setting resembles Chicago more than it does Hell.

I can see a world where that’s intentional. Perhaps making Hell resemble a modern city could be used as a thematic tool or point of relatability? But Hazbin doesn’t really do anything like that - since the characters rarely ever interact with their environments, these locations end up seeming like they lack creativity, like they’re just cardboard sets where characters go to swear. They all start to blend together after a while - every street feels the same, every boardroom fades into the background, and every bar feels like a google image search result for the word “club.” This world feels stunningly empty despite the busy designs and colors. Even though the backgrounds are painted and designed fairly well, nothing of substance is ever really added to them through the story.

However, a few musical numbers take effort to break away from these settings. This felt like a weight off of my shoulders whenever it happened, it was nice to see some interesting setpieces and backgrounds that weren’t red. I liked the bombastic and over-the-top broadway lights in Loser and the glowing alternate world in Charlie and Lucifer’s song. But these moments are few and crowded by the dull locations in Hell - or worse, the Hotel itself.

Despite being the namesake of the show, the actual Hazbin Hotel is… lifeless. Which, yeah, it’s a hotel where dead people go in the afterlife, but it’s missing any sort of personality or history besides “it’s old and falling apart.” I expected the hotel to be full of secrets - like maybe some hidden passages or rooms, or mysterious cabinets full of rotted meats, or old valuables hidden under the rugs by the previous owners. Something for the cast to explore and discover, and as they get closer to each other they also start to understand the hotel more. Alastor seems very intent on keeping the physical hotel standing for some reason, but I never really understood why. There’s nothing there. And that nothingness is fully realized when at the end of the show, they just rebuild the entire hotel to be grand and beautiful - an emotional beat that didn’t hit me at all because I never felt like I knew the hotel in the first place. Despite rebuilding it from the ground up, it will feel just as empty.

3 SHOTS THAT DRIVE ME CRAZY

I was truly baffled at how some of these scenes are timed and put together. Multiple sequences left me feeling nauseous and dazed - the camera moves like it’s being swung on the end of a rope, and there’s so many misplaced or meaningless cuts scattered through these episodes.

There’s a sequence of three shots in the first episode that I want to dissect. I will fully admit that I'm breaching nitpicking territory here, but the shot composition issues in this show are pretty rampant and my analysis here is just a hyper-specific look at a single part of that larger problem. Hopefully you can also use it as a quick storyboarding lesson too idk

First, we see Adam teasing Charlie.

Then, it cuts straight to this shot:

A few things here.

Shot 2 is just closer on the characters, which is not a great idea to cut to after the previous waist-up shot. On top of being a jarring jump cut, there is no purpose for this new shot. All the information we see here (Adam laughs, Charlie fake laughs) could have just been conveyed in the previous shot.

Despite the characters being in the same position as the last shot, the background changes. This straight up just feels like an error. I think the idea is supposed to be that the camera is at a different angle, but the position of the characters does not convey that. It looks like reality changes behind them.

And if that’s not enough, this is the shot we get immediately after those two:

In this shot, the residents of the hotel sit on the couch as Vaggie walks into the shot, framing them between her legs. But there’s something… off.

Vaggie either looks like she’s floating or she’s three stories tall. Quick storyboard lesson as to why:

The main problem with this shot is that the perspective of the background doesn’t match up with where Vaggie is placed. The couch is framed as if the camera were above it, but Vaggie is framed like the camera is floor-level below her. I’ve traced the shot and added a perspective grid to hopefully better illustrate this:

Do you see what I mean? If the camera WAS actually on the floor like Vaggie’s position in the shot suggests, the composition would look more like this:

Notice how much closer the floor grid is to the bottom of the frame and how you can see the underside of the couch.

And to be fair, this is probably what the original storyboard for this shot looked like! Personally I think something went wrong in the compositing stage - this might be a couch background from another shot that was reused here to save time, or whoever approved this shot just let the error slide since the shot is so short (i've been there. sometimes you let the jank slide). Most animated shows will have some poorly framed shots and continuity errors because mistakes are bound to happen, but two egregious ones right next to each other like this is. pretty bad. It's so noticeable from a directing perspective.

Here’s the thing: these three shots happen in the span of like 10 seconds. Most viewers probably wouldn’t notice these issues, and that's fine. But even though these errors are quick, they stack upon each other so fast that even if you can’t pinpoint exactly what’s wrong, something still feels wrong. There’s so many other moments where the show breaks extremely basic shot composition, continuity, and staging rules - for example, the second musical number of the show breaks the 180 rule like four times for no good reason. The whole show feels like a dizzy, nauseating mess because the shots rarely feel like they form anything cohesive.

MY ROOMMATE TOLD ME TO GO TO BED SO HERE ARE SOME FINAL THOUGHTS

Here’s a rundown on some other thoughts that I don’t care to format into larger sections:

The show seems to lack much to say about sin and redemption other than “redemption good.” like sure, but what are they being redeemed from? Is heaven truly the place they deserve to go after being redeemed, even though it’s shown to be unjust? Are there sins that are too great to be redeemed from, or others that shouldn't be considered sins at all? I asked myself a number of questions like this, but never got many answers from Hazbin.

This show has a bad relationship with kink and sex. Both are mostly used as a punchline or a form of control. I didn’t like it. Perhaps the reason Hazbin never really comments on the nature of sin is because it needs you to consider sex and kink sinful or otherly for these jokes to hit.

Some of the animation is crazy good. I will praise any animator that even attempts to make these character designs move. A number of extremely talented people worked on this show, a few of the musical sequences in particular have some incredible movement.

Alastor is a very boring character. It’s wild that most of the side characters in this show only exist to talk about how much they like or hate Alastor, he mostly just stands to the side of some shots or kills random nameless goons. I expected him to have a much larger role in the story, but he just gets his ass kicked in the final episode and then crawls back to the hotel.

Episode 4 is the most cohesive, and i think Angel is the best character in the show. Unfortunately, the fact that Hazbin takes so much effort to show Angel’s misery left me… concerned? None of the other characters get treated as poorly as Angel by the narrative. There’s a few smaller explorations of trauma, but nothing remotely compares to what Angel is put through on-screen. This isn’t to say that I think the whole cast needs to be extremely traumatized and constantly miserable, but rather that I find it concerning that the only character subjected to incredibly graphic abuse and torture (that we see or hear about) is the gay sex worker. Which sucks, because I think the concept of hypersexuality resulted from sexual abuse is an important topic worthy of discussing in adult media. I just think they tried to execute this theme without much critical thought beforehand.

I think the voice cast does a fantastic job for the most part. Keith David is way too good for Husk.

I really liked the one shot where Charlie opens her phone and we see that she has a contact for every individual egg minion.

I was very brave and got through this whole review without talking about my new least favorite character of all time, Vox. here’s what I think of him:

The overall vision and end result of Hazbin Hotel is just mediocre. While I don’t know what led to the messy state this show ended up in, my guess is that it was probably the result of inadequate direction, sloppy writing, and lacking creative support from the studios involved. Because of this, please understand that I have no desire or intention to put down any individual artists that worked on this show - I hope it's clear that most of my criticisms are directed at the larger vision these artists were given to execute and/or the lack of creative support they received while working on this show.

I also don’t really have much desire to participate in any further Hazbin discussion or discourse because it has wasted enough of my time already and I want to be free of this curse. please spare my inbox from hazbin hotel discourse. please. i'm begging.

You want to know what the most fucked up thing about this is though? Despite everything I said about Hazbin, Avatar the Last Airbender 2024 is still the worst show I watched this month. I would take Hazbin over Avatar 2024 literally any day.

well if you got this far. thanks for reading. also sorry you read all that. whelp alright back into my hole i go bye bye

#to get to my hazbin hotel opinions you must first read my pitch on how i would have written high school musical 3 #jesus christ. either i gotta watch less things or learn to shut the hell up next month this is a longass post #review roundup #long post

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taylortruther · 3 months

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Your anons could stand to re-read the "paternity testing" quote and remember that Taylor is an artist and can write about experiences and feelings and relationships she's had or been a part of without it meaning she is still actively experiencing those feelings or caught up in the experience/relationship even after it ends. She's brilliant, she can find inspiration in things and turn it into art for the sake of wanting to express something beautiful, not because she's pining or questioning or whatever.

Also sometimes the answer to "why did she phrase it like this/use this word/reference this" is that it sounded best when she was writing it/it fit the meter/she thought it sounded cool.

i agree with what you're saying in general but i do kinda want to gently disagree with the first part. or maybe not disagree, but add a finer point to it? (it's possible you will agree to and we are just talking about the same thing in different terms.)

i think it's completely fine and normal for someone to still experience some feelings, or be "haunted," by a past relationship, long after it's over. i really do. if it's keeping you from living your life, growing, moving on, etc. then that requires more work. but writing a poem or something about a moment or experience that shaped you and continues to shape you is just... idk! that's the point of art. we often lie awake wondering "what if," even when we have settled into a new path in life. i wouldn't call it pining. i would call it, idk, discovery? and there are constantly new wells to discover about yourself.

i agree that taylor is a professional and she can write songs for the fun of it, to express something beautiful, or because she just wants to. but i don't know if she's always revisiting these memories because she wants to; i think some ghosts demand a visit, she feels compelled to confront them. that's what drives art so often: the absolutely urgent need to put something out. that's what she says, pretty much, in the midnights prologue:

It's a momentary glimmer of distraction. The tiniest notion of reminescent thought that wanders off into wondering, the spark that lights a tinderbox of fixation. And now is irreversible. The flame has caught. You're wide awake.

#and YEAH the second part is so true #sometimes it literally is just for the rhyme #midnights

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zagreuses-toast · 10 months

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I come from a place of sheer curiousity and I just wanna ask genuinely- you say that you're a fan of 13s/ the chibnall era. Why? Doctor who is my favourite show and I've connected with every incarnation deeply and immediately, but have never been able to "click" with 13, despite my best efforts. What is it that you like about her? What is it that you like about chibnalls writing? I want to know and I want to like her/it too, but as of right now, I just... don't. Obviously you're not obligated to, but can you explain why?

Ok so this ended up being a Long Post, so I'm putting my response under the read more. Also I'm assuming you've actually watched the Chibnall era up to The Power of The Doctor, if you haven't then heads up for spoilers and stuff that might not make much sense without context.

Oh and I'm gonna @ @rearranging-deck-chairs and @ssaalexblake because I see their DW opinions all the time and they're really good and they can probably give more nuanced answers on some things. (Idk how well I did on explaining why I liked some of them, and it really is up to personal preference on some things)

Thirteen herself:

There are a lot of reasons I like Chibnalls era, but one of the biggest ones out the gate is definitely Jodie and her acting in the role of the Doctor. I think the way she balances bouncy gregariousness with the colder more angry and mean aspects of the Doctor is great. She does this thing where she can just make her eyes go dead and then smile like it's a threat, like she's gonna bite, especially when going up against villains. It's great. And Jodie herself is a delightful person.

Beyond just physical acting choices, I find the thirteenth Doctors struggle between her anger and secrecy, vs her desire to connect and her joy at life very very compelling. She keeps this distance that's really interesting I think, where she's genuinely attached to and trying to be a friend to the Fam, but still trying to keep her whole past out of the deal, which doesn't work that well, as we see in s12 and Flux. She's surrounded by death and haunted by the knowledge of how little time she has with her friends, (Grace, and she just came back from bill) but she still wants and needs that connection, and she learns to live in the present a bit. I made a whole post about her final regeneration speech here. I love her arc a lot even if it hurts. Also she's such a horrible hypocrite about so many things, which also makes her a fun character to rotate in my head and study like a bug. I do see it as being on purpose, some people seem to think it's just bad writing that she contradicts herself but imo that's a big part of her character.

Chibnalls writing:

I personally like the timeless child plot because :

There are a lot of stories and ideas in the Chibnall era I like, and a lot more I find very compelling. Whatever your opinions on the writing (and I definitely have had a lot of critique for some bits), there were a lot of ideas introduced that were fun and interesting. One of the weaker points of the era IMO is having so much fun stuff set up, but only shallowly or quickly exploring it, and then adding more stuff on top.

A lot of things didn't get the exploration/screen time I thought they deserved (especially characterization and interaction/dialogue wise). But that just gives my brain more to chew on at the end of the day, and I do love what was done during the seasons itself, not just all the potential stuff.

1) I can connect with it, I know Chibnall was coming at it from a place of being an adoptee, but as a native person the story of a kid taken and raised into an imperial/colonial society, who had their history stolen and their body exploited to further that societies ends, hits very close to home.

And 2) I have a "everything is true at once" approach to canon and I think the more origin stories we make for the Doctor the funnier it is.

This era had a lot of repeating themes, ideas that showed up and we're explored in a lot of different circumstances, often with a rule of 3 aspect to it. One is themes of Empire and Exploitation. Particularly through the stenza in s11 (empire using up planets, introduced to us basically doing foxhunts for clout, but with People instead of foxes), the dalek specials, the Cybermen in s12, and Division/the timelords in flux (as well as the sontarans &co).

Within that there's the repeating motif of how by exploiting people or their beliefs for power the imperial power/bad guys sew the seeds of their destruction. From Tzim Sha using the Ux and them turning against him, to the Division being destroyed by the Ravagers, who they tried to use to get rid of the Doctor/the old universe (and the doctor and even the master going rogue in the first place). Hell even Kerblam! (I know I know) Has a version, where the AI system being used to do terrible things is the one to call the doctor for help!

Another standout are themes of breaking cycles, Ryan is estranged from his dad and was distancing himself from Graham, but they both put in the work and grow extremely close over their two seasons. He also chooses to leave the TARDIS when he realizes he's absent from his friend's lives and wants to be present. And the Doctor gets to break the cycle of exploitation that Tecteun started, when she meets a vulnerable being with mysterious power (the energy being from TPOTD) she helps it free itself, on a way she wasn't helped.

Individual character stuff:

Going again into more individual character stuff I love, I've gotta give it to Sacha Dhawan for being a fucking superb Master. His acting is bonkers amazing and he does a great job portraying the sorta huge personal crisis the master is going through, and externalizing via evil schemes. At the end of Twelves run we saw Missy try to be like the doctor, to get her friend back (and even succeed a bit) but end up dying for it. Now we come back to a master who died trying to be like the person they see as their only equal, and has discovered (wrongly) that they were never equal to begin with, that the doctor is so much more than them. So he tries to make her like him instead, and If she won't become like him and kill them both along with the rest of gallifrey, then he will become her properly this time (by body snatching), ruin her legacy, and die with her eventually (overtaking her in the same way his whole existance has now been caused/overtaken by the doctor in his eyes, because of her being the source of regeneration)

Also can we talk about the Yaz?? I've been dying to talk about Yaz!!! I love her a lot and I find her fascinating, shes probably my favorite companion based on just sheer amount of time spent Thinking about her. Her doctorification/character arc is so good

Yaz is into the travelling and saving the day lifestyle the Doctor gives her for the responsibility of it all, for feeling useful and capable and good. Her early characterization Monet's include her complaining about not having more interesting jobs as a cop because she wants responsibility, she wanted to be important and helpful (that's the entire reason she became a cop, to help people like she was helped when she was in a dark place, and she finds a better way of doing that with the Doctor). And she GETS THERE, narratively and on a character level, she spends three years on earth with her own companions! She co-pilots the TARDIS and can fly her herself! She saves the day when the master steals the doctors body! And most of all SHES EXTREMELY SAD AT THE END BECAUSE THE PERSON SHE LOVES DIED BEFORE HER!! JUST LIKE THE DOCTOR !! (ugly crying) (I could write a whole other post about thasmin, good and bad, but a lot of people have put it better than me)

Also, I'm a big TARDIS girlie, she has somehow ended up being one of my favorite characters in doctor who, and the chinball era does so much fun stuff with the TARDIS!! Different writers take different approaches to the TARDIS, and how alive vs inanimate, or how active vs passive she is. I think the Chinball era had something special in terms of the way the TARDIS was depicted, and I loved it a lot. We never really get to see past the control room but it's a gorgeous control room! And throughout the era the TARDIS just feels so alive, it's always humming and beeping and chirping, I especially love the moments when the lights change color to match the doctors mood (mostly to blue, for sadness, sometimes red to yell at that dalek that one time). And speaking of the doctor, starting with ghost monument thirteen has a bunch of sweet moments of banter or just ~emotions~ with the TARDIS. I genuinely teared up a bit when she entrusted the timeless child memories to the TARDIS,and before her regeneration speech when she asked the TARDIS to look after her. Because who can she trust with her past AND her future except her oldest truest friend.

I could add a lot more of specific things from the era I love (solitract my beloved) but I think this is getting long enough as is lol.

#doctor who #thirteenth doctor #chibnall #jodie whittaker #flux #timeless child #dw #also sorry about answeing so late i forgot this in my drafts lol

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kyouka-supremacy · 10 months

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Ngl sometimes I feel like Asagiri doesn't know what he's writing. Like in many many interviews I feel like he straight up contradicts what him and harukawa are doing in the manga which often just makes me go ????

Like the way he treats Akutagawa has never been framed in a positive light, he has shown how desperate akutagawa was for his recognition. The cycle of abuse is a constant theme in the manga...

That interview just baffled me so much that I can't help but wonder if asagiri just really sucks at expressing himself or idk because I also feel like if some sentences would've been slightly changed it would've fallen more in line with the manga and it wouldn't have sounded like excusing the abuse Dazai had put Akutagawa through.

... I honestly don't know how to answer to this. I sincerely don't think the author's words contradict what already slipped through the manga? As I said, I think the statement was just a very unfortunate case of intersection between 1) abuse apologism and 2) Dazai idolization... But that's both things bsd ALWAYS had.

Chapter 39 Portrait of a Father is right there; the author's framing of Akutagawa and Dazai's relationship in the interview is precisely the same case of “the abuse you went through actually shaped you to become a better person, and your abuser always acted in your best interests and should even be regarded highly by you, like a father / meaning to your life”. So, nothing new on that front. About Dazai, I guess that's harder to pinpoint, but I do believe bsd has a bad case of Dazai is omniscient / perfect / flawless / can-do-no-wrong syndrome, something someone already made a very interesting elaboration of here. That explains why the author could never admit that Akutagawa was Dazai's failure, because that would be admitting Dazai can fail, and it's evident that the author doesn't agree with that.

I'm not really sure Dazai's treatment of Akutagawa is portrayed as cruel, either. Like, if it was, then why didn't Dazai stop treating Akutagawa that way when he joined the ada and started doing good? That sounds like implying that Dazai didn't stop because he is doing Akutagawa's good. When you think about it, Dazai acts very coldly to Akutagawa in chapters 36 and 51, treating him with condescension and vague contempt; and yet, those scenes are framed as being either endearing or comic, never cruel. Overall, I can hardly find the interview to be inconsistent to the manga when it's basically just expanding on what Akutagawa already told us here:

and where in the past one could have suspected this was only Akutagawa's biased perspective¹, this new interview simply confirms the author thinks it the same way too.

¹ I'll never forget my sister saying, when I was live reacting chapters 84-88 to her, about this exact passage: “That depressingly sounds like an abused person trying to find a meaning in the pain the abuse caused them, something able to give a sense to the pain and excuse the abuser”

I was extremely surprised by how everyone reacted to the interview, because I found it saddening, yes, but people are acting like it's something new and surprising when... I really don't feel the same way? I always thought bsd was full of problematic stuff and fucked up worldviews I don't agree with, from the moment I was watching the first season for the first time. And like, it kind of sucked initially, but I came to terms with it because there's other aspects I find enjoyable to explore and dwell into! (And also simply because I don't get to pick what I hyperfixate on). Personally, I assumed that people in the fandom either agreed with the author, or turned a more or less conscious blind eye to its issues in favor of more compelling stuff, or did like me and acknowledged its problematic stuff while also believing that doesn't necessarily have to get in the way of your enjoyment of the media (we're all just here to have fun). But I never thought... People just didn't notice? Like, the author's world views are all there and they've always been there, what changed exactly? Again, seeing it put so plainly and with no shame is saddening, but can't be deemed surprising. Yet somehow I've seriously seen people say stuff that sounded worryingly like “the abuse defending manga author is defending abuse in real life, how did this happen” and I'm. ?????????¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿????????? I'm sorry, and forgive me if I'm sounding somehow pretentious, but I swear most sincerely that I just don't get it. When in two years the author is going to make a comment of the kind “no female character will ever be as complex as male characters because women simply don't have it in them”, will everyone suddenly be surprised because the author of the sexist manga revealed themselves to be sexist?

It's just... As someone who as it turns out has done this (deeply disagreeing with bsd's themes, but hyperfixated on it nonetheless) longer, very humbly, allow me some words of advice: you're here for entertainment, you're here to have fun. That means you get to decide what parts of canon are worth focusing on and dissect and enjoy, and that doesn't in any way hold you from acknowledging bsd's problems when they're at and overall having a critical approach to reading the manga. I think that's a good advice for interacting with all kinds of media actually! In the words of another old answer of mine:

I don't know who needs to hear this, but someone definitely does: “I love s/kk!!” “the bsd storytelling has many compelling aspects!!” and “I recognize the bsd writing has flaws some of which actively harm an already disadvantaged part of society” are statements that can and should coexist, and if anything - and I know you hate to hear this, I'm sorry, I'm sorry - it should be kept in mind when deciding to support the franchise by buying its products.

And lastly, but most importantly: bsd stopped giving you joy? Walk out!!! The world is full of beautiful stories. Read The Promised Neverland.

#I think y'all took death of the author too far...#But at least now you can understand why in the past year and half I always twisted my nose–#whenever I found one of those “author is such a genius!!!!” posts ahah #ryūnosuke akutagawa #osamu dazai #bsd #bungou stray dogs #mine #people asks me stuff #Feel free to shoot me right to the head if I ended up sounding pretentious in this

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penny-anna · 4 months

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His first thought, on laying eyes on his new assistant, was God, but he’s young. He quickly revised his judgement; after all, people could and did look younger than their years. But still. In his line of work, it was rare to encounter someone quite so – fresh-faced. “Marty, this is Doctor B,” said Strickland, motioning at him. “He’s the head of your department. Doctor, this is your new assistant, Marty M.” They were standing in the hallway outside Manufacturing and Development. It was a little after ten thirty in the morning. Marty M was flanked by Strickland on one side and a security guard on the other; he had on a wide-eyed, dumbstruck look that Emmett recognised vaguely from his previous, rare encounters with new hires. Clearing his throat, he stepped forward and offered up a friendly handshake. “Good morning,” he said. “I’m Doctor B. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” The kid – it was difficult not to think of him as a kid – had his arms folded across his chest. He made no move to return the handshake. He looked at Emmett’s outstretched hand. His eyes went to his face; they tracked, slowly, up and down his body, taking all of him in. Then he turned and bolted like a frightened animal. “Oh, my,” said Emmett, as he vanished around the corner with a squeak of shoes on hard floor. The security guard was laughing. “Mr Murphy!” barked Strickland. “On it,” said the security guard. “I’ll get him – don’t worry.” He jogged away in pursuit. For a long and uncomfortable moment Emmett stood in the doorway of M&D, trying not to meet Mr Strickland’s unfalteringly stern gaze. “Uh,” he said, looking somewhere in the direction of his left ear. “How’s the orientation going?” “He’s been trying to give us the slip all morning,” said Strickland. “Ah,” said Emmett. “I’ve had worse,” Strickland added. He did not elaborate. There was a yell, nearby; and the security guard rounded the corner, half-carrying, half-dragging Marty M, arms firmly around his waist. “Let me go!” the kid was yelling. “Let go – let go of me –” His feet fully left the ground, kicking out at the air, his hands grasping at nothing, and at the look on his face Emmett’s guts twisted. “Feistiest new hire we’ve had in a while, huh?” said the security guard.

hey guys!! big news!! after stalling at like 99% completion for many weeks, i finished this monster of a Back to the Future/Severance AU tonight!! i have titled it 'Welcome to the Panopticon'.

When will it be published?

as soon as i finish editing chapter 1

What if I like Back to the Future but haven't seen Severance?

i would recommend you watch Severance bcos it does slap, however, the majority of the relevant worldbuilding is recapped in the fic so u should be fine

What if I like Severance but haven't seen Back to the Future?

you will have 0 problems with this fic as it has fuck all to do with Back to the Future

What if I haven't seen either?

you can do whatever you want

Why would you combine those 2 things?

listen sometimes you're hyperfixated on a thing and then you watch a really good TV show and you are compelled to plug tab A into slot B even if it makes no sense. idk something something time travel?? alternate selves? idk Severance is just a really fun way to explore character dynamics

How long is it?

it will be my longest published fanfic to date at seven chapters & just shy of 90,000 words!!

Jesus fuck

yeah I know :( read my fic anyway it took me 8 months to write and im very proud

#back to the future #bttf #bttf severance au #severance

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magicalswordgirls · 11 months

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Heh, I’ll draw a better Aerial next time. The important thing is that I got over my fear of drawing mecha and also over my fear of building plastic models of robots, so thanks, Okouchi! Some headcanons and ranting under the cut. (With spoilers)

For some reason most of my WfM fanfiction has been centered around Aerial/Ericht ever since the theory about Aerial being Eri started circulating during the first season. I’ve been thinking about AU’s where she doesn’t lose her body and instead is an older teenager/young adult who has to deal with a mother obsessed with revenge while also trying to protect her little sister from the consequences of said revenge (and precisely because of that, she ends up questioning herself wether following her mother’s path is worth it or not).

I think that Eri was a character with a lot of potential in the story. She’s this girl who lost absolutely everything, who might be sad and angry about it but can’t do much on her own. She loves her family and even if she also wants to help her mom get revenge, she knows that it’s wrong and she doesn’t want her clone/little sister to get involved in any of it but, yet again, she can’t prevent the fact that her sister is used as a pawn, and she’s also being used, even if her mom doesn’t want to admit it. The dilemma of wanting to help her mom while simultaneously wanting to protect her sister’s innocence is a very compelling part of the story. Also the relationship between the sisters had a lot of potential. Eri could’ve seen Suletta as everything that she wasn’t able to become and that could’ve lead to very complicated feelings. There were a lot of elements that would have turned Ericht into a very interesting and nuanced character and I’m not even mentioning the transhumanism angle, there was a lot that could be explored in that area.

However, as we know, there wasn’t much about this character in canon (even if she was important for both the protagonist and the antagonist of the show). She remained a mysterious figure throughout most of the story and we didn’t get to know much about her motivations. In fact, most of what we know about her comes from the short novel “Cradle Planet”, the anime didn’t bother to put that information in the story and that’s why for most viewers she’s this creepy girl haunting a Gundam who’s almost as big as a jerk as Prospera. To be honest, I was expecting her to be more conflicted during her battle with Suletta or at least I wanted to kow why she was so convinced to follow her mother’s plan. At the end we didn’t get any of that, and she remained as an underdeveloped character.

So yeah, I have the impression that in my head I made up this nuanced and tragic character out of someone that ended up being a Funny Little Guy inside a keychain. Well, I guess this is very common when one starts liking a secondary character from a show. (I always wondered how people would make long essays and fafics about characters that didn't do much in a show... guess I'm that kind of person now).

Well, I suppose that I’ll have to stick to my fanfics and headcanons, at least I know that nothing I could write’s gonna be more wild than what actually happened in canon. So there’s that.

…Thanks Okouchi :/.

P.S: I like to speculate what kind of teen/young adult she would’ve been, specially in slightly less tragic AU’s, maybe she’s more like she was in the Prologue or she’s a little bit messed up because she’s shielding her sister from everything that’s wrong with their family. Idk, I just find her very fun to write (although I’m always aware that I might be creating some sort of pseudo OC, man I really wish that canon had given us more material to work with!)

#gundam the witch from mercury #g witch #gundam suisei no majo #ericht samaya #gundam aerial #It doesn't help that I see her as a Rose Bride character

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evangelinesbible · 1 year

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WHY I HATE MY 11H CACNER SATURN

There’s regular loneliness and there’s extreme loneliness and call me biased but I feel like 11H Saturns understand extreme loneliness, unfortunately. Idk why I fell compelled to write about this but it was just one of those days when you sit on silence for too long and your mind wonders.

⚜️ Saturn rules over restrictions and delays. 11H rules over social groups and friends. So you can see that the two together is very hard to deal with.

⚜️ Now if it was in a sign like Aries or maybe Aquarius it’d be easier because those are relatively independent signs and wouldn’t struggle with the need of wanting to have people around them all the time or having the comfort of knowing that they have people who aren’t leaving for a long time

⚜️ But because the sign is in Cancer, the sign ruling over family, and relatively a people oriented sign, it can make you feel so lonely in a room full of people.

⚜️ And for me specifically because I have a 7H sun in Pisces and Taurus Venus AND a 4H moon having friends that feel like family and wanting to be close to people that care about me the way I way for them it make it so hard to live with it.

⚜️ Never being in a definite friend group or feeling like the 3rd wheel in other peoples friendships. Calling someone my best friend but they never called me that instead they’d call someone else their best friend. Friends who stopped talking when school was out for the summer and then suddenly talking again because the school year started up again. Seeing people with friendships that’ve lasted since childhood and me never having that childhood best friend. Or seeing people who used to call me best friend get closer to someone else faster than they did with me. This placement can make people feel big worthy of long term friendships

⚜️ Now every time I make new friends I hope that they’ll be in my life for a very very long time but realistically I know that they have other friends, who they’ve known way longer than they’ve known me, friends who they go to instead of me. I’m just a part time friend, a friend for now, whilst I’m searching for a friend forever.

⚜️ Long long nights wishing I had a constant support. And with the friends that I do have I worry all the time that the day will come where they stop respond to texts and we grow apart I might be hypocritical here but there’s nothing entirely wrong with be selfish and wanting the same love back. Tho I sometimes tend to stop talking to others in a form of self sabotage with the fear that they’ll do it first.

⚜️ Now it is not always the case for 11H Saturns to have this problem. Depends on the sign and the rest of your chart. Some have the opposite effect and tend to have the same friends for a very long time. But regardless most people do have problems making new friends or getting opportunities to make new friends

⚜️ Astrology is fun and can show you your potential in all your life ventures, but it can also expose the problems you’ve been dealing with for a very very long time. I’m learning to deal with this placement and to not hate it but so far it hasn’t done me good, other than helping me see the fake friends verses the real ones. I just hope that as I grow and mature I find my people and they find me.

- ⚜️💫⚜️

#astrology #astro observations #astro placements #astro notes #astrology notes #rant #pisces #aries #capricorn #taurus #cancer #11th house #Saturn #11th house Saturn #cancer Saturn

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bredforloyalty · 7 months

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okay what i meant when i said that even the copious amounts of blood didn't satiate me in particular is that the dead wife/nemesis thing was never something i was eager to see explored, just because i think it's something a lot of male characters get? to go through? the ooh i'm so tortured someone took something from me and now i can't help but turn into a monster while i'm on this quest for revenge and being smothered by grief ough i might kill them even or others in gruesome ways and then realize i'm still just as empty

because, i think men often feel the role they must take on as a man or as a father (especially the latter) is a burden, a huge one, where they aren't allowed to sit back or let go or forgive to their own and everyone else's detriment.. and i understand why there is demand for the same type of stories or story elements or arcs, and why they work, and this same overall theme can be present in a story where it's dealt with in an interesting way or where there's love and care involved in the writing process and the characters don't feel like "man pain machine #48" and "generic sensitive character who will cradle mr. man pain's bloody face in their hands (when we want to end this arc and show how good and lovable he actually is)"....

idk i'm just saying it's not even a specific problem i have with male characters that avenge their families or seem like they're defined by anger or by a traumatic event, i do think it can be written lazily and that we've seen it so many times it's a bit worn-out now, but i wouldn't be quick to generalize. it's just that, since we've seen this before (and that's partly why they poked a bit of fun at themselves when in rickmurai jack, rick's dead wife backstory was revealed).. to me it's one of the least interesting aspects of rick? and yet it's clearly important to the writers and they felt they had to tackle this part of his character, really emphasize his unfinished business, or treat it like something that must have a conclusion

for me though, rick's brand of fucked up and evil wasn't compelling because something deeply fucked up happened to him and there's a lot to deal with there and that's cool, it was more compelling to me (iirc) Before knowing much about his past. tbh. i recognized him already, he felt real, his worst side was familiar because a man doesn't need a whole event to become controlling and cruel when dealing with his family... social norms and umm systems sort of already operate within the framework of the patriarchy, i think it's built into our collective ideas of society, concepts of gender and family and the rules those come with.. i liked that about rick, that why he was an asshole wasn't detailed, there was no easy explanation for the way that he was, he just was. and every time they chose to drive home that rick's defined by losing his original family to his own alternate self and that he was still chasing this one guy, it was like, well i thought there were so many other components as well to why he turned out to be who he is. i liked it more when it was mundane, because that's what i see around me, that abuse is rather mundane. and i'm much more interested in the harm he's directly inflicted on his current family and how his past might affect his current life, what might haunt him. so i guess i never wanted prime to be taken care of, each week i find myself thinking that i just want it to be rick and morty and their messed up little relationship up close and personal again

#like‚ prime was cool‚ i liked what he said when he was getting beaten to a pulp i REALLY liked it. c-137 took his life‚ took his #family technically‚ that's interesting. he regenerates‚ we didn't see a body‚ he could totally be coming back‚ that's interesting #i'm just not all that interested in rick's revenge bc for example look at this episode. what did morty do‚ what did this mean for morty?#maybe i'm too mortybrained hxsgvy but i care about him so much it makes me sick i can't just switch it off.. lol...#felt like this could've been framed differently. i would've framed it differently‚ maybe de-center rick's abstract ideas of what's been #taken from him and who's at fault‚ center his ideas of what he has now and how far he's willing to go for his loved ones #i don't know i also wanted to see how r&m worked while hunting prime since rick promised to bring the kid into his darkness #so i was like omg REGRESSION? regression sweep? real animosity when? but we didn't see any of it. but we still might!! if prime's not #really out of the picture. so i won't write that off. i am inclined to forget about it tho and believe there will be no shared darkness #well i will see i'll see the whole season and then reevaluate #kata.txt #rnm

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bthump · 10 months

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Idk I too want better for Casca but I really dislike the hype for Casca potentially becoming an apostle, these users put it far better than i would:

https://www.tumblr.com/deripmaver/723418827650727936/why-i-am-a-hater-of-the-apostle-casca

https://www.tumblr.com/deripmaver/723493450382802944/im-so-happy-to-find-another-casca-apostle-hater https://

I skimmed these posts to see whether there were any points made that I felt like "responding" to, and there's a few.

First, Casca being a good person has nothing to do with anything except people not wanting her to become a monster, which I obviously don't vibe with because I think the concept of a good person becoming a monster fucks hard, which is one reason I like Berserk a whole lot. And I think a potential Moonbaby sacrifice would fit perfectly with one of the "good person" sacrifice examples they give: the 'person you loved the most and hated the most' sacrifice motivation, since it's intertwined with Griffith in some metaphysical way and it could be a two for the price of one deal. It's almost too on the nose.

Second, I don't think it necessitates Casca joining Griffith. Griffith seems to be out of the Godhand now, incarnated on the physical realm, presumably no longer presiding over sacrifices, and my favourite worldbuilding pet theory is actually that the godhand and Griffith will be at odds. Something's gotta threaten the godhand's existence since something wiped out the last cycle that we saw in Skull Knight's memory, and an incarnate fifth that appears right on schedule seems like just the thing.

Third, Casca's apostle trauma is, if anything, a sign in favour of her becoming an apostle since like, everyone in Berserk is at least tempted to symbolically become their abuser/rapist/nemesis as part of gaining power, eg:

Why can't Casca get in on the interesting and complicated moral and emotional greys here? This is good shit, I want it for Casca. I want her to be tempted to become what she fears, to escape her own sense of powerlessness through abandoning her morals. It's just a more direct version of Guts wanting to become a monster since that's rooted in rape trauma and both the narrative and Guts himself equates monsters to both his rapist and abuser.

I didn't see them mention the fact that apostles are compelled to love Griffith which to me seems like one of the best arguments against it (though again, I skimmed so maybe I missed it), but Ganishka resisted that, and Casca has a long history of repressing her love for Griffith so I think it could actually be a neat, and overcomeable extension of her human feelings.

Another big and better argument against it, particularly after the last couple chapters, is that Miura clearly just did not give a shit about Casca lol. And I mean I already knew that, one reason I thought the apostle Casca theory held water is that it would be a way for Miura to avoid writing Casca's trauma realistically and instead veer into one big dramatic moment followed by fantastical metaphor while keeping her a less nuanced plot point, albeit a more active and fun one than she had been so far. Instead his way of avoiding writing Casca's trauma realistically was to have her faint any time she thinks about it and then take away her personality AGAIN. So yeah, unfortunately I just don't think Miura wanted Casca to be badass and actively affect the plot. Idk if he ever knew what to do with her after deciding not to kill her off just to motivate Guts post-Eclipse.

Finally I just don't know if there's really time for that anymore. My vision was an Empire Strikes Back style end of second act downturn. Casca becomes a monster and sets a new arc in motion, Guts falls into despair and succumbs to the armour, shit gets real and interesting again for a while. Instead Guts' second act downturn is being mad that Griffith is still a god lol. She could definitely still go apostle at the climax of the story, and you better believe I'm still rooting for that, but idk if it'd be as satisfying lol. But I guess we'll see.

Anyway yeah you're free to disagree with any of my hot takes, but you're not gonna convince me Casca shouldn't become an apostle, because my reasoning ultimately boils down to "I would enjoy it." I would certainly enjoy it a hell of a lot more than fainting damsel in distress Casca which is what we're dealing with right now lol. If your reasoning boils down to "I would not enjoy it" then I probably won't convince you either, and that's fine. We'll find out what's going to happen eventually.

And finally I want to err on the side of caution and make it clear that I have no interest in arguing with the user you linked, and I hope you're not planning to be like, some kind of anonymous go-between linking posts back and forth. I used the linked posts as a bouncing off point to explain some of my reasoning, and that's the end of it as far as I'm concerned.

#character: casca #theme: speculation #theme: behelit #theme: sacrifice #theme: inner monster #ask #anonymous #theme: revenge #a #b #also at the end of the day there is still the question of 'who the hell else is gonna use the behelit?'#guts has his armour he's spoken for in terms of manifesting inner darknesses #anyone else would need their motivation to be both established and executed between now and then which feels intrinsically #unsatisfying to me and a waste of a lot of time we could've been spending on foreshadowing #the exception being serpico who has motivation if farnese dies lol which lbr would suck. and who would he sacrifice?#casca is the only character with a thoroughly established reason to despair plus 3 potential readily available sacrifices #(moonbaby griffith and farnese) plus heaps of ominous foreshadowing surrounding her #plus hey she just got an animal motif to utilize

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bromcommie · 1 day

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🤩🎯

Hi, thanks for the ask! :) 🤩 What led to your interest in the fandom?

Oof, boy. So, I mean, I was a geeky little kid and grew up loving the Spiderman and X-Men comics, so my interest kind of naturally progressed with the MCU boom of 2009 or whatever. As for Cap, I have to admit I didn't like him all that much at first - I'd only seen him in The Avengers and I think like many other people I kind of just viewed him as The Square Old American Imperialist Guy (thanks, Joss Whedon😒). It was only after seeing CATWS and retroactively CATFA that the floodgates opened. The interest was kind of on and off for a while, but it definitely spiked with time and I got into the Cap, WS, Black Widow and some other comics as well after that.

Idk when exactly I got into Stucky, because I distinctly remember having a phase of "why can't guys just be really really really good friends???" (I know, I know.) but between then and CA: CW I definitely fell in love with both characters and a) kind of went through my own awakening lol, b) started rapidly developing an unrelated but helpful interest in early and mid-20th century history and c) watching a shit ton of Cap edits on YouTube because I've always liked vidding. I eventually started making some of my own vids and fanart when my brain just woke up one morning and clicked into "oh shit. oh, not only is the premise of this story compelling on several levels, but these motherfuckers are in love in love" mode, and inevitably that also led to me starting to read fanfiction.

And that was just...a fucking revelation and a half. Because suddenly here were all these people writing heartfelt, compelling stories—sometimes heavy as shit, sometimes downright hilarious and sometimes just publishing quality—about everything ranging from grief and guilt and trauma to bodily autonomy and disability and queerness and self-worth to relationships with faith and nationality and community and intersectional identity to beliefs and morality and perseverance to violence and war and systems of oppression to different kinds of love and devotion etc etc etc I could go on literally forever. All set to a sprawling love story, all in a historical context I was interested in, all with about a million different perspectives you would never actually get to see on screen or on the page. I also fell in with a bunch of very passionate, nerdy queer people in college after, all of whom loved comics characters and shared these interests and had a lot to say on the overlap of the two, and well. I never really stood a chance, after that.

I guess ultimately what really drew me to it was the potential of taking material that was (I'm sorry, but let's be real) sometimes painfully mediocre-to-plain bad but with a great premise, and then projecting and exploring some really interesting and grounded and even vulnerable topics through the very fun sandbox that the more fantastical, epic aspects of these stories present—often in a subverted way and with mouthpieces (read: Stereotypical Empowered Bulky Macho Men) that you don't get to see in that light in mainstream media. And the Cap fandom really had (and has to this day!) an abundance of talented, curious people throwing themselves into that wholeheartedly and with such wonderful passion and creativity and care. So engaging with that as a hobby can be really lovely and inspiring and cathartic. And sometimes it's just plain lighthearted fun! I think the older I get the more I can really appreciate that.

Also, not to be super sappy or make it sound more serious than it is, but stories about goddamn superheroes overcoming painful, fucked up real life situations and aspiring to do and be better were a great comfort to nerdy Little Me, and so was getting to talk to people about the things I saw in them that meant something to me. I think Steve's character and origin—and the perspectives on it I got from other people—were just a big deal to my baby teenage brain during a time when I was starting to develop a real life social and political awareness and a sense of all the ways in which the things we do and say and how we stand up for each other matter. And as a grown-ass adult today, I still cherish that. And I cherish that even though I've matured and evolved and so have my other interests, I still got to come on here in the year of our lord 2024 when this particular hyperfixation suddenly came out of its long winter slumber and indulge in a comforting, creative hobby and stretch my writing muscles, and that I still got to find people to play in that sandbox with in a way that is extremely satisfying.

So there you go, and I'm so sorry. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on this. Make of that rambling essay what you will.

🎯 Do you have a writing milestone you’re working towards?

In terms of fandom works, I really don't. I started writing fic just as a fun hobby for myself, and I never really thought of it in terms of goals like I do the original work I try to write, just because I think that'd probably take some of the fun out of it. I'm in a bit of a rut at the moment though, so I'd really like to be able to break out of it soon and post the next few chapters of orpheus I've been trying to work on, if that counts!

#ask game #ask #joy-returns-in-the-morning #thanks again<3 and sorry I gave you my whole life story ssdsgs

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toriwritesstories · 24 days

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No one tagged me in one of these but I saw the questions and wanted to participate hehe

20 Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

53 total, technically 1 of those is under a different pseud because it's the only fic I ported from FF.net onto Ao3 and I used my FF username as the pseud for that reason.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Just checked and apparently it is 2,416,967 .... sooo that's totally normal right?!?!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I struggle to write for more than 1 fandom at a time so right now I'm pretty much only writing Shadowzel from BG3.

BUT the others I've written for are, in order of recency:

Hosie from Legacies

Deanoru from The Runaways

Choni from Riverdale

Clexa from The 100

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Pretty sure that they're all going to be Clexa but lemme go pull the list...

1) Pristine (Clexa)

2) Come With Me (Clexa)

3) Lift Me, Catch Me (Clexa)

4) Still Made of Gold (Clexa)

5) Online Lifeline (Clexa)

Yep, no surprises there. But actually my 6th is Choni: She Didn't Know It Then but seems like my older fics from the fandom that was probably the biggest I've been in have the most kudos, makes sense to me hehe!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to respond to as many comments as I can while I'm posting. Unless I feel the urgent need to respond to a comment, I only respond when I'm at my desk about to update. So I don't usually respond once a fic is finished unless the comment really compels me to. This is simply a time and effort kinda situation, I read them in my email and they always make my day, and I'm always happy to respond on social media if anyone ever wants to chat about any of my fics!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The angstiest ending?! Uhhh I'm a happy ending girlie. I guess technically it's probably one of my Hosie oneshots in my A World Where I Was Yours series, just because it's my version of post canon of Legacies!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

There are too many happy endings in my fics for me to decide aaahhhh. Ummmm. Maybe it's hard to breathe (when you're in the air) which is one of my favorite Hosie fics that I wrote?? but idk seriously they're all happy endings in terms of the pairing so it comes down to which characters in which fics had the happiest overall life situation and there are too many to think about it lol!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten negative comments for sure but I dunno if I'd call it hate exactly. The negative comment that I remember the most was on a Choni fic and they complained that the characters were too OOC, and it was nooooot done constructively at all and someone else (possibly same person different guest user) piled on even more rudely... so that wasn't fun (and also yeah all my characters are kinda OOC because that's what happens when you write AU?)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, yes I do. I feel like it's fairly vanilla. I used to mark everything rated M before I was informed that perhaps I've been writing E smut without realizing it lmao. So now I rate new fics with smut as E.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't ever posted any crossovers, but I did start one that was a Legacies/The Runaways crossover because of an idea that seriously amused me, but once I wrote the premise I got bored and stopped lol.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not a whole fic but back in my FF days someone took a Halloween Party chapter (wow I write those a lot actually, I'm not even a Halloween party girlie) and used it as a flashback on their Wattpad fic and someone kindly let me know and I had to message them to take it down.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I had a few fics back on FF.net that were translated into French :) but the deal was that I wanted to post them because I wasn't comfy with someone else doing the posting of my ideas. And now I typically turn down offers of translation just because I'm less comfy with it now then I was when I was younger.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't, but I'd be open to doing so if it was for an idea I felt like me and the other author(s) were really vibing with!

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Impossible question. Whichever ship I'm currently obsessing over is my all-time favorite. Which would be Shadowzel rn. But probably in a few years I'll feel differently lol. I strongly feel that all the ships I've ever shipped are the best ever and I cannot choose a favorite.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Sooo many. I have a ton of Choni WIPs that I never finished, including one that got to like 20-30k words but just sits all dusty in its word folder. I once started a Part 3 to my Clexa travel fic (Come With Me linked earlier) that I couldn't get into but the vision was soooo cute. I also started a Part 3 to my Choni travel fic which also had a great vision but I'm just not as into Choni anymore so it feels hard to go back to now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at dialogue and characterization, those are my favorite parts of my own writing at least!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dude. I apparently cannot get enough of adverbs. I have to prune so many when I'm editing fics. Ugh. And I have some repetitive phrases that I also end up having to prune out.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done it before with google translate and made modifications when people who spoke those languages corrected me haha. But it's not something I do often just because it hasn't really been super relevant to most of what I write.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Glee. It was Glee. I was 13. We don't need to talk about it.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

My favorite?!!? It's always my latest fic, I pretty much always feel like the latest thing I'm working on is the best and so it's my favorite right now for sure. And that would be Reignited (Shadowzel).

Anyone who sees this and wants to participate, feel free to copy the questions, I know this is a tagging game but I don't do that kind of thing, I just saw these questions in another post and felt like talking about my fanfic lmfao.

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