#idk what to call the au but it lives in my brain rent-free now
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martin: will I lose my job if I fuck the head archivist
elias, gobsmacked that martin would speak so directly: um… no?? wh—
martin: okay. good. *turns to leave*
elias: martin? martin! come back here or I’ll tell jon what you just said
martin, looking him dead in the eyes: he would never believe you *walks away*
elias, to himself: what… the fuck
#this is part of my chaotic wingmen archival staff au#idk what to call the au but it lives in my brain rent-free now#tma#the magnus archives#magpod#martin blackwood#elias bouchard#jmart#jonmartin#web!martin knows full well that s1 jon would never believe elias if he told him what martin said and uses that to his full advantage#bs.txt#s1 wingmen au
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Hi. I would like to know many things about your roleswap au bc I love it very much but I have no idea what to ask I just want to know many things bc my brain has been consumed already
uhhhhh I guess can you lore dump a little bit on backstories? Idk I just wanna know everything about this au
I will be back in your ask box for this au several times most likely
-Spaghetti Brain Anon
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!!! i am SO glad that i could get this au to live in someone else's brain rent free too. all i could ever ask for in life tbh
i guess i'll infodump about character backstories, dynamics, character arcs, all that juicy stuff
putting it under cut because HO BOY THIS IS GONNA GET LONG
as a heads up, take the timeframes i give you with a grain of salt, because i still havent completely figured out the timeline
so first of all, vox!! he's a sinner, died in the 1950s, as per canon. he's a businessman, but less stable than in canon. he's always jumping from job to job, business to business, which results in him having a lot of connections with various people around hell.
soon after arriving in hell, he met and became friends with alastor. cut to, i'd say around 7-10 years before the events of the story? alastor disappears without a trace during an extermination and vox assumes him dead. having now been personally touched by the effects of the extermination, the idea to try and solve overpopulation another way is planted in his head, but wont come to fruition until much later.
in the meantime he meets velvette - finds her bleeding out in an alleyway after getting too cocky and trying to fight back to an exorcist (bad idea). he nurses her back to health, they become friends and eventually start dating, yada yada yada.
one day vox and velvette find a funky little cat (keekee). keekee takes a liking to them and leads them to the old ruins of a building up on the hill on the edge of pentagram city. they figure out that the cat turns into a keyblade that can be used to magically build shit (only the hotel though, as keekee is the spirit of the hotel or??? whatever the hell the canon lore is idk???)
vox finally decides to realize his idea to try and solve overpopulation more humanely - through redeeming sinners! his reasoning is, if angels can fall (as proven by lute and charlie), then demons can surely ascend, right? though he's not as sure or idealistic about it as charlie is in canon. he simply thinks it has a chance of working, and opening up a hotel means a bigger sample size than if he were to just try and get into heaven himself or something like that. besides, he wouldnt wanna go to heaven, he likes it here.
also, im not sure where this is situated in the timeline yet, but he was in a band with adam, lute and possibly eve at some point? the band is called brimstone eden, as mentioned in the comic i posted. im not sure yet whether he was in the band prior to eve's disappearance or after it (eve disappears 7 years before the story starts to mirror canon lilith).
swap!vox, like his canon counterpart, is a very reactive person. he follows trends, he's extremely go-with-the-flow to a fault. he never really had any strong beliefs until the hotel - his character arc mainly involves him gaining something to believe in and learning to fight for that belief, 'ready for this' being more or less the culmination of his arc.
jesus christ i cant believe i wrote that much JUST on vox. *slaps the top of his head* this boy can fit so much lore in him
now, velvette... she's how you'd expect her to be. same old brave, arrogant velvette. she's a fashion designer and seamstress and runs a moderately sized business which she promotes on sinstagram. she's mutuals with val there, which is how he finds out about the hotel.
there's not much to write home about when it comes to val - it's insane how similar angel and him are. like literally barely anything changes when you swap them, it's very clean. he's a prn star, sold his soul to angel dust, yada yada.
though a bit on his dynamic with vox - vox is very good at reading people, and doesn't like being lied to (he's a bit of a hypocrite in that regard - he puts on a facade all the time when in professional settings). he can clearly tell val isnt doing as good as he pretends he is, and wants to help him really badly, but val just sees it as vox pitying him and rejects his help (its what they fight about in ep 4, as a counterpart to the whole "charlie going to the studio" thing bc vox wouldnt do that)
and now here's the fun part - ALASTOR! oh, alastor, you beautiful stuck up bitch! so turns out, he's not so dead after all! he ALMOST died in that fateful extermination, but husk found him and offered him a "give me your soul right now or bleed out in this alleyway" type deal. of course alastor chose the former, but boy he's not happy about it. he's extremely ashamed of how far he's fallen. so ashamed, in fact, that he hid from the world for those 7-10 years! yeah! he's only pulled out of hiding when husk summons him to be the bartender for the hotel. vox is of course, extremely bewildered and demands answers. alastor doesnt give them and avoids him instead. it takes a sincere conversation with valentino in ep 4 for alastor to finally talk to vox again and explain himself.
alastor is basically in extremely deep denial of just how fucked his life is. he clings onto his radio demon persona like a lifeline bc its the last thing that can help him feel some semblance of control over his situation.
his tension with valentino is twofold - first they butt heads because of opposing personalities, and second because they both see the other's bullshittery. it's a clusterfuck it eventually bubbles over in ep 4, they both admit how absolutely fucked they are and are friends now.
wish i could say more on al & val bc i love them very much but it seems ive run out of eloquency for now. though i know i'll draw some comics of them eventually so maybe it'll come across better in comic form.
anyway as mentioned above ive run out of eloquency and im honestly not sure how coherent this whole thing is so you'll have to come back for the other characters some other time, dear anon! until then, thank you so much for the ask once again, and have a nice day/night :)
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DC x DP Idea Thing #4
Dual-sided Rebirth AU (Official name pending)
Brain had this idea for over a week (or 2...) now, rent-free, but what if Jazz, Dan, Danny, and Ellie all reincarnated as Harvey Dent's kids? Jazz and Dan are the old set of twins while Danny and Ellie are the younger set. Will all of them remember their past lives? I say majority of it.
This is before Harvey got scarred and became Two-Face and maybe the mother is someone before Gilda Dent? Idk, all I know is that all of them present as Metas despite neither Harvey or their mother had the meta trait (this is a case that Black Canary II falls under from what my research says), Danny and Ellie's powers showing from birth while Dan's and later Jazz's activated after.
Danny and Ellie were thought to be dead when they were born but they proved otherwise. Danny froze a nurse's hand while Ellie went into goop mode a few times. Later Dan and Jazz both set something on fire but for two completely different reasons, severity, and time. At least to say, Harvey here has a handful, especially if he was acting as a single parent here.
Harvey's gonna have a bit of a hard time first as a parent, regardless if this is pre-Two-Face era or not. Man here is (secretly) terrified at the thought of becoming like his father to his kids.
It takes a while but he gets used to the life of fatherhood despite also being busy as hell. The kids help out by behaving (as much as they can anyways), though, Jazz's powers do come in handy.
(She's like SCP-999 essentially here when she notices people are stressed in her proximity, for lack of better words. No one noticed she had powers till it manifested into harmless flames that had calming effects to it when nearby. With her powers + support from her and the rest of her siblings, they managed to delay Two-Face's debut for a while later on. But uh, yeah, her powers are gonna be very helpful for Harvey when Dan, Danny, and Ellie all gain more powers cause OOOOO BOY, blood pressure, am I right?)
Harvey becomes more motivated to get into Law after all his kid's powers were shown so they can be seen/treated as equals and not have Metas outright banned from Gotham especially, even though he keeps his kid's status as "metas" away from public knowledge. It later becomes an open secret though.
As stated earlier, the Two-Face debut is gonna be delayed. Jazz, Dan, Danny, and Ellie are gonna be very protective of their dad (and pa when they officially meet Harv) after the attack. Mother henning children. I feel like Dan's gonna empathize with both of them a lot in a way and have late-night talks with dad and pa about the darker thoughts they all have.
As much as they all tried, though, Two-Face is gonna make an appearance cause this is Gotham.
When Two-Face era begins, Harvey and Harv likely avoid the kids (even if Danny and Ellie are still teens while Jazz and Dan are in Uni) as their way of protecting them from overall villain stuff the two do despite all of them trying to reach out to him and supporting them, hoping they'll get better.
I'm ngl, I feel like Dan and Danny are gonna join the criminal business with their dad and pa (much to their protests) cause someone has to look out for them. Ellie joins in on occasions for chaos and shenanigans (cause yes) and Jazz is glaring at Arkham with so much contempt cause YOU AREN'T HELPING HER DAD AND PA PROPERLY! (As well as the other inmates but STILL- YOU CALL THAT PROPER MEDICAL PRACTICE- Jazz ends up burning at least something whenever anything about Arkham is brought up. Everyone in the family is scared cause her flames normally don't even singe a thing)
Jazz is creating her own practitioner-place therapy thing cause TO HELL WITH ARKHAM!
I... Honestly don't know what I'm writing here anymore. More exhausted then usual. Might add/edit later. Idk. Just- Reincarnation for Fenton Kids, Harvey being Gotham's original Famous Dad before Bruce (which speaking of- he's Uncle Bruce and Dan and Danny don't trust him which confuses Harvey and Harv), and just, angst, fluff, chaos, and shenanigans.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#Idk what is the timeline for this au anymore#Dad Harvey Dent#he's trying his best#Jazz Dan Danny and Ellie are a handful but they try as well#Dent Family beating the other crime families butts#Bruce is getting more grey hairs quicker because of the Dent kids alone#He questions why Dan and Danny hate him especially#Jazz and Ellie don't seem to hate him#Ellie likes to target him with pranks though so...#Seriously WHAT EVEN IS TIMELINE ANYMORE#I had help from Batpham discord with figuring out Jazz's powers#reincarnated au#i have no regrets#i am so tired right now#Idk what else to tag#Jazz really hates Arkham here#Dan and Danny are their dad and pa's left and right hand man#Even though neither wanted them to be mixed up with the mess they created#OH JEEZ IMAGINE THE ROGUES GALLERY MEETINGS#Ellie's gonna be recording those cause it always ends with both Dan and Danny trying to murder Joker#The Dent kids being Metas is an open secret in Gotham#Gonna go nap now
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Omg!!!!!!
Haiii!!!! Elloo!!!
Im back with your semi annual Robo Mace wip :0000
Finally was able to expand upon an idea cooking in my mind for a good bit which was a kinda battle mask (Basically whenever conflict is engaged their “human” mouth would be covered with this extravagant layer o’ metal to protect em!)
Practical considering they’re mostly made up of metal?
Absolutely not
Cool?
ABSOLUTELY
Anyways thats literally the whole wip.
Ive redrawn that same pose like five million times on different canvases with every attempt so ive made like zero progress 💀
But now that I have your attention I wanted to expand on Mace’s lore cuz I feel like it and I think i promised to make a post about it
So.
I dont know about any of you you guys-
I personally feel like Darcy the core and Alderitch coulda be so much cooler!
Like dont get me wrong. I like Darcy design wise! They’ve literally been living in my head rent free ever since their first teaser! (It’s a blessing and a curse please send help hshshHahabbfnsuaha)
But I personally feel like plot wise they were kinda lacking :(
And the idea of a bucha a n c i e n t newts consciousnesses invading a 13/14 year old kids mind forcefully is kinda…gross.
So.
I was brainstorming and came up with this:
When the core was first teased. Back in the ye olde days in the pre True colors when the fandom called it the Night-
Im not the only one that thought it was some sorta god right?
A giant mass of orange eyes that a powerful King that ruled for thousands of years kneels down to and calls “Master?”
Idk about you but that gives off omnipotent eldritch horror vibes to me.
So I basically took that concept and expanded upon that and incorporated bits of the lore that Andrias dropped about his kind.
Specifically about how he said that his kind were conquerers.
Why?
Sure. It could purely be a generational trauma thing.
His father did it. His father’s father did it. And his father’s father’s father did it as well.
That could be the end of it.
No one really knows why they conquer and enslave races other than “tradition.”
Maybe Andrias only mentions it all is so he can bask in his triumph. To feel a deluded sense of pride in his lineage for finally being able to continue the work of his forefathers after thousands of years of resentment and regret planted in his mind by his own father that twisted and corrupted his perception on reality.
Maybe Matt just thought those sequences up on the spot and they sorta made sense.
Theres alotta maybes and to my knowledge thats about the extent of it
But im not satisfied with that
So I took that concept. The conquering inter dimensional newts and elevated it.
The core was never a series of Newtopia’s “greatest minds.”
It was always an omnipotent being.
An all seeing all knowing all powerful elderitch horror that is always hungry.
Thats why Andrias’ ancestors invaded other worlds!
Whether it was out of fear or necessity or a deal made with the devil
The reason they invaded is because the core is always hungry. And it needed to feed. So they sacrificed whole worlds to the core just to satiate its ravenous appetite.
And it would explain why in the last season Amphibia was being siphoned for all its resources
Not only was it for the factories, the frobo army, and the mind control devices
It was to stave off the cores hunger until the invasion of earth could surpass
And I didnt forget about all those newts that died and had their brain transferred to the core originally oh nonono
They still sacrificed themselves. But not to join the core or become anything greater. Despite what they believed or what they were promised by the core, Alderitch and all those newts who made up the canon core were nothing more than willing sacrifices to the cores endless hunger. They realistically died for nothing.
So. With this concept/au/rewrite/whatever solves alot of the inconsistencies in the plot and also gets rid of the gross old newts in 13 year olds brain plot
Lemme know what you think of this concept! Im open to criticism and any ideas anyone is willing to share and will do my best to respond to em!
#alternate universe#amphibia#marcy wu#the core#amphibia au#amphibia fanart#darcy#marcy regina wu#king andrias#andrias leviathan#amphibia andrias#work in progress#character design#rewrite#infodump#writing#fanfic
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Brainrot Trash Idea about Shin and Baylan
So I've been seeing a fair amount of stuff about Baylan and Shin, and bc I'm a Sucker for Father-Daughter characters, decided to play with a few headcanons. None of which are remotely close to Canon and a few AUs bc I can.
General HC Rambling
* Shin is Baylan's actual daughter. Yeah, I know she's (99%) not in canon but look. The idea of Baylan having and then training his own daughter to be something greater than the Jedi lives rent-free in my head.
* He got Shin from a young age to refer to him as "Master" instead of "Father" for both their sakes. Smother the risk of attachment and keep them both safer should the Empire catch on. (Jokes on him, because both of them are very attached to each other).
(For Shin, there actually isn't a real difference between terms; for her, calling him "Master" is her just saying "Father". He is her father, not her mentor, in her POV. She just uses a different word is all. (Help them, plz)).
* On that not of terminology, been thinking and I know it's probably just a harmless/unimportant honorific, but the fact Baylan has the title of Lord makes my brain go "what if Baylan was actually of noble origins?". Which then shifts into "Shin having a separate last name from her father is due to Baylan gifting her his mother's maiden name, for the same reasons he has her refer to him as her mentor instead of parent". It's also a way, in his twisted mind, to honor his family nobility when he himself failed it (by being a Jedi).
(Also imagine the Skoll/Hati family coat of arms being *wolves*)
* I even got genealogy HC worked out cause- "well Shin doesn't look like Baylan". And yes but hear me out: she takes after another relative of his (sister, mom, aunt, grandmother, etc.). Maybe she reminds him of his mom, idk. But if so, maybe that's why he gives her the surname Hati? As a quiet honoring? Either way, she takes after his family members, just not him strictly lol.
* (I'll be honest, her hair looked dyed and frankly speaking, I do HC Baylan as being a dark brunette before he went full Grey, so not a far stretch to also consider her inheriting his hair at least.)
* Back on the Hati surname, thinking more also led to "its a family name but farther back in lineage before it got changed to Skoll somewhere down the line". Kinda like how the Bakarn family in SWTOR used to be the Bakvalens before it got changed to a more common surname. Either way, the name Skoll puts a target on Shin's back and Baylan isn't taking that risk.
* (Ngl, part of me now wants to play w the idea of Baylan actually being a descendant of the Bakarn family. Idk if he'd be related to Syo tho, for obvious reasons.)
*Regarding upbringing, Baylan was a single dad front day 1, raising Shin on the run. Who the other parent is or if she even has one, no one knows. (Mostly bc I'm lazy and single dad Baylan lives rent free in my head). They mostly drifted from place to place, never really calling somewhere home. Hence another reason why Shin is very attached to Baylan; he's her only source of stability. He is "home".
*Leaving Shin was hard for her, but it was also hard for Baylan. It's not that he doesn't love his daughter. He absolutely does. But he's driven by personal ambition to seek this unknown power on this strange world and that takes priority. And truthfully, it's dangerous. He knows it's dangerous. But it calls to him in a way he can't ignore. In a way Shin can't hear. And if For her sake. Even if tearing away from her rips him in pieces; it's dangerous what he's doing and he won't drag her into it.
(Mentally he tells himself he's doing this all for her. For a better future, for her.)
(Shin, of course, is too attached to her father to actually leave the planet.)
AU VERSE HC
On another hand, been seeing a fair amount of Baylan/Morgan content lately and THAT got me thinking of "Shin is a Baylan/Morgan child". Which...
-Half-Dathomiran Shin. Half-Dathomiran Shin with Morgan's markings.
-Shin whose been raised by a human most of her life, who isn't at all attuned to her Nightsister half. Who doesn't really know Morgan and probably is unaware she's her parent.
-Shin who isn't attuned to her Nightsister heritage, suddenly experiencing summons of green fire and magic when her parents leave her behind for their own paths.
Nightsister-Dark Jedi hybrid class Shin Hati.
#baylan skoll#shin hati#morgan elsbeth#star wars#ahsoka#ahsoka series#stupid headcanons#and yes Sabine absolutely calls Shin a Nightsister at some point just to piss her off (flirting)#only for Baylan to be like “i mean yeah” and Sabine “o.O i was kidding wtf man”#to clarify shin is well aware of her heritage#just not Dathomiran culture#mostly bc morgan buggered off right after she was born#honestly shin in this verse was probably an agreement made by Baylan and Morgan#which like#younger Baylan fresh from the purge and ANGRY meets an equally bitter but cunning and opportunistic Morgan and slow burn it#how Baylan goes from Jedi to Mercenary#Morgan wanted his help#in exchange he got Shin#literally she be like#here you go have fun bye lol
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Whew, okay this is a little embarrassing the length of this and commenting in the first place(I prefer being a silent appreciator of writing) but I'll get over myself for like 10 minutes.
Okay where do I start? Omg there's so much to talk about. But first off can I say I love the soulmate trope so so so so much. Like it activates the full on feral can I have some more sir part of my brain.(yes that exact meme) I came across this purely by accident digging into the aizawa x reader tag. Fav pairing with this man btw. But once I got acquainted with the overall story and the plot.
I blew through the entire first part of the story in an about an hour and a half. I may be a little late to the party but your writing is *chef kiss*. Ugh yes! The entire plot is amazing and the idea of a villan with a soulmate type quirk along with the later introduction of a villan with a sex pollen quirk for some drama. Like I was tearing into this hand over fist, giggling at the slow burn of it all. It's not over done and the pacing was perfect. When I was read the part about the reader choking up a flower. My eyes got so big, I even said out loud this fic has hanahaki too? Heck yeah! I'll admit I was touch disappointed when it wasn't an actual thing but I understood how Aizawa jumped to the conclusions about from soulmates to hanahaki being a real thing. Lol I got duped right along with him.
(Definitely sounds feasible in this soulmate AU and would love to see how you'd explore it, should it be something that you'd consider in the future)
The club scene? Oh my god. Someone get me a wheelchair because that moment with him being tipsy and let-me-teach-you. And just playing into being a dom and calling reader a brat. Crying.
And the paperwork mix up lol. Suprise! We've been married for 8 months now. That was so sweet when he admitted he already had the ring at home.
And what slow burn 38k fic is good without some spice? It was amazing. Better words are failing me at the moment. But I haven't seen anything better written in years.
All in all, I wanted to say thank you so much for writing this. Am I going back to read the other soulmate pairings, because I need more in my life? Yes, yes I am.
I'm sprinting not walking to read the rest lol.
But seriously if I could pop a little confetti cone through the screen, I would. Because you did that, you ate it all up and left no crumbs. And I am eternally grateful and excited to see more of your works. No matter what they may be. This will be my new brainrot for the weeks to come and will forever live in my head absolutely rent free.
oh my god. oh my god i need a minute. i just need a minute
*snatches up each piece of confetti to eat it* how are such kind people like you walking about on this bitch of an earth?????? your pointing out of details and being so generous made my heart fucken stop.
yeah idk if i'm gonna use hanahaki for real later? i am vaguely entertaining it for a character not committed to a route yet. here, i just wanted aizawa to freak the fuck out. fun fact: that hanahaki scene was the OG ending before i decided that aizawa and reader needed to suffer more :) and him teaching reader sexy things after teaching her school things????? i thought that would kill him :)
you are NOT late to the party; the fic isn't even done yet!!! there are at least three more routes (shinsou, dabi, and shigaraki) and a writer with a terrible uploading schedule!!!
thaaaaaaaank you so much for reading!!!!! xx.
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hi your "hunter escapes and has a fun little camping moment" au is living rent free in my brain rn, please Please share some more thoughts and rambles about it!
ANON PLEASE- (affectionate)
you gotta understand I was not lying when I said I have 5 pages of a google doc worth of comic ideas. Unfortunately it's still kind of a mess and I'm still sorting out some of the basic dynamics of this AU. I also like the idea of keeping most of my notes and making them into their own comics/posts so idk how I feel about just saying stuff in a list AND YET.
So here's some stuff I think I can say outside of a comic?? I’ll still probably make some of these into comics/doodles, but anyway I hope this is what you were looking for.
Hunter:
Hunter gets very into studying wild magic up close, something he wasn't allowed to do much before. But now he lives in the forest surrounded by wild magic. Because of this I plan for him to discover a few glyphs on his own, like Luz does, mainly the plant one. But you’ll see how that goes later ;)
He's also still trying to cure his uncles curse. He insists he's not going to go back to Belos, but if pressed on why he's searching for a cure for a man he plans to never see again, he'll get very defensive and angry. Sometimes it's not as easy as "I'm leaving and never coming back." sometimes you still wanna help the people who hurt you :P and THAT one is from personal experience
Hunter takes a while to really get into the whole “I’m on my own and can do whatever I want” thing, but I plan for him to mess around with his presentation once he gets more comfortable.
Rascal helps him change his eye bandages! I haven’t decided if his eye is damaged yet or just the area around it tho so stay tuned.
Hunter will often assign himself “missions” to go on because he doesn’t know what else to do with his free time. He knows he doesn’t technically have any deadlines or stuff like that anymore but he gets stressed not having a goal to strive towards so to cope he just.. gives himself arbitrary goals !
Funfact! This is not the first time Hunters pissed Belos off so bad that he’s fled the castle for a moment. But it IS the first time he stays away for this long.
Home Hunter AU subscribes to the “Hunter is the grimwalker/a clone of Belos’ brother” theory just for extra angst. I kind of like the idea that he wasn’t even a big part of Belos’ plans though, just that Belos saw a chance to “Bring back” his brother and went for it fsdfsfsdf.
Hunter is terrified of relying on someone too much because no matter how much he trusts them, they could always kick him out. And he’d rather kick himself out before they get the chance. Boys still got issues, is what I’m saying.
Because Hunter lives in the woods he starts to get a bit... Feral. People will not see him for a week only to realize he’s been not showering or changing his clothes. He was never the most normally-socialized kid but now he’s in the habit of hissing at people the way he does at wild animals that encroach on his tent.
Hunter is very possessive of his belongings (he has so few) and will tackle you if you try to take something from him without asking. He also hoards food and has trouble sharing it, but he feels a bit more embarrassed about this habit than others so he tries to hide it.
Luz:
Luz is basically the first person Hunter reaches out to after living in the woods for a few weeks, and she’s the only one he trusts, at first.
She offers to let Hunter stay at the owl house a LOT, and sometimes he does :D ! But usually only if it’s raining or he has an injury he can’t heal himself, or if they’re just hanging out.
Luz’s Super Secret Sad Boy plan is to try to trick Hunter into staying at the owl house for extended periods of time, so that he eventually doesn’t want to go back to the forest. She brings it up A LOT. This has yet to work though, because Hunter feels very uncomfortable about not understanding their family dynamic. That and it makes him feel a bit worse about his own. (kind of like when you go to your friends house and their parents are nice, so you cry afterwards. But to the extreme that he has trouble relaxing cause he’s viscerally aware of how much he doesn’t feel like he fits in.)
Luz tried to teach Hunter glyphs but he brushed it off. 1. because he’s still nervous about wild magic lmao but 2. because he didn’t think he needed to learn them since he has Rascal. He only starts looking into them when he personally finds them in nature on his own. After that point he starts eavesdropping on Lillith and Eda’s glyph lessons and hijinks ensue.
Lillith:
I’m actually super down for the idea that Lillith would bond with goldie in some way. They both know what Belos is like so they can bitch about him together!
I’m also a fan of the “Lillith regrets calling Hunter a brat” idea. Idk if she’s canonically seen his face or anything but I like to think that, at least NOW, she sees him for what he really is. A poor little meow meow.
That being said don’t think that Mom!Eda is out for the count. They’re ✨ co-parents ✨ and I like to think they bring different things to the table when it comes to caring about Hunter. Raine might show up eventaully too :D. They still can’t get him to move out of the woods tho.
Belos:
Not much to say about him and his plans yet, but what usually happens when Hunter runs off after upsetting Belos is that he comes back a few hour/days later with something to win back Belos’ favor. So the emperor isn’t concerned at first, but then a week passes, and then another.
In this AU Belos is very protective of Hunter but in a weird, possessive, fucked up way. Basically, he’s convinced himself that nothing is really a threat to him or Hunter (since he trained Hunter personally and believes in his nephews abilities). He was never afraid of Hunter being killed or leaving him cause he never considered those things as possibilities. So when Hunter doesn’t come back and is seen actively avoiding him, he goes a little apeshit? But like in a subtle way? Like, he’s losing it but quietly lmao. BASICALLY I do have plan for Belos to attempt to do a lot of stuff to catch/coerce Hunter, and maybe he succeeds! We’ll see.
That should be enough for now!
important to note that a lot of this could change on a whim since I’m still thinking about all of it but y e ah these are some things I’ve mused about.
also I hope this makes sense, I’m not really a writer so I just kinda type it how I talk it I guess.
#toh hunter#toh#the owl house#hunter toh#luz noceda#emperor belos#the golden guard#lillith clawthorne#eda clawthorne#home hunter au#ask#nnstuff
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Want to start off by saying that I love your mind! I was hoping to get your opinion on: what is it in jackunzel that makes it feel so right?
EDIT: changed a few things ehe
ngl i found this challenging cus it made me think of how the answer would vary per person (yeah i went there idk why sdjkknds) so lemme get logical for a sec here haha
what exactly is the definition of “feel right”?
to make someone feel relaxed and comfortable, as merriam-webster states
simple as that, right? but wait there’s more
what makes something/someone go under that category?
now from there it expands because there are so many ways of answering that with everyone having different opinions and mindsets.
fair warning before we push on, this is going to get messy (like a word vomit) with how i’m just going to pour out everything i can think off, but just know i really like this question hence the, uh, mess? lmao
so back to your question, what is it in jackunzel that makes it feel so right?
in one POV, it could be because of how rapunzel and jack represent the sun and the moon respectively, making them two contrasting sides who shouldn’t collide and yet, against all odds and opposing forces that would come between them, they did.
and we can bet on the fact that they fought hard/struggled for it, depending on how fanfic writers play with it (reminds of this sun/moon au that sold me to this trope lmao).
just because others said it’s impossible or it’s against whatever, why should they listen to the “norm?” what even is considered “normal,” when the two can explore so much more of what they could be missing from life after stepping out of others’ shadows?
i just love sun/moon dynamics. i’m obsessed lmao i read the ones below somewhere and idk where but it’s been living in my head rent free and i can’t escape it tho feel free to correct me about any of these symbol topic!
like the Sun, thoughtful and full of energy to share with everyone, is connected with one’s self and known to, yeah, radiate warmth or light. it also symbolizes firmness, strength and power. oh and life too i guess?
while the Moon, subtle but full of mysteries and wonders, can also get emotional and sway others to be more nurturing. cus like it also symbolizes calmness, beauty, and nurture. plus eternity and enlightenment?
the list goes on if we head into more of what it both symbolize, but when these two celestial bodies get together, masculine and feminine energies unite. the Sun gives out life, while the Moon cultivates it.
i have no idea where i’m going but moving on
maybe it’s that taste of rebellion with going against the authorities/society/rules/of what has always been set to find out who they’re meant to be or, y’know, finding their identity without the shackles of others (like jack learning he has the potential to be a guardian and embracing it in his own time, and rapunzel realizing she’s the lost princess and works hard to be a good one),
or there’s something about the mystery that follows the other because they’ve never met anyone quite like them (like exploring a world they’ve never set foot on),
or finding all the good and bad in each other and in their differences, but still loving the other for who they are,
or what one lacks the other makes up for it and vice versa. with or without them realizing they can help each other grow to be a better version of themselves.
opposites attract who are bound to be full of surprises.
but on the contrary, they could also be two peas of a pod. aight this definitely goes against what i said above with all the opposites and stuff, but hear me out.
while they grew up and learned how to cope with life differently, they somehow still share the same sentiments when it comes to, for example, reaching their goals.
they have their own way to go about it, sure, but my point is they can reach a common ground better together compared when they’re with others.
like rapunzel with the lanterns, and jack with his memories. at first, one hesitated and wavered, while the other disagreed and pulled away. it was only after they saw a chance/realized this was it that they agreed in a heartbeat
they ultimately made the choice of diving in head first regardless of their initial thoughts in the first place. kinda like the moment they realized they can be a step closer to what they’ve been yearning for their whole life
bam, out of the way, they’re coming through lmao
not only that, but they can also be soft, gentle, understanding despite rapunzel’s spontaneuosness and jack’s mischievousness. we’ve seen them interacting with children and they’re so good at lifting their spirits up to have some fun and that there will always be a tomorrow.
and with their peers too. rapunzel lights up even the darkest of rooms, may it be like fireworks to bring joy or a campfire to warm one’s heart. jack meanwhile keeps things light when everyone else feels tense, easing others to relax and remember there’s always a way out
don’t forget the way they both sacrifice themselves for who they care for. like, they just do that, putting others first before them. that scene of saving eugene and baby tooth aaahhhhdjhdskdjkbkfjdkjf
and when everything comes crashing down and the world feels heavy on their shoulders, they both know they’re not alone with the other there for them.
maybe it’s the mutual understanding they have for each other after opening up, and finding a friend/partner/home through the connection they made together,
or they could be a push and pull that leads them to showing an unexpected side of the other, but in reality they always had it in them and all they needed was someone to show the way,
or how they complement each other, but they’re not two halves of a whole, no, rather they’re already whole themselves and they only reminded each other that they are,
or it’s simply because they don’t feel the need to put up walls or anything of the likes, because they know that no matter what they’ll be accepted for who they are.
opposites who have so much more in common than they originally thought
in another POV it could be because of how they give such partners in crime vibe. lowkey or highkey, take your pick. nothing would stop them from moving forward to a new tomorrow, or honestly whatever it is they put their minds to.
and i am here for that
like i said in one of my posts, “They were a magnet for trouble, with the Sun being a free-spirited and vivacious fellow, and with the Moon’s knack for mischief and being a rebel without cause.”
while both are adventurous, ready to explore whatever is out there, all the while just wanting to have some fun, they still balance each other out.
with jack usually ready to do what he needs/wants to do (which helps rapunzel to trust her gut and take the risk. that he’ll be there for her whenever she’s ready to step out of her comfort zone and jump away from her tower)
and with rapunzel knowing how to handle sticky situations properly (which reminds jack that not everything has to be done harshly and abruptly. that while freezing someone could be fun, it won’t solve things in the long run)
am i making sense? idek but you’re stuck with me lol but before i forget and i can’t believe i just remembered now. the way they can help fill in on what the other is missing
rapunzel wants to see the world, what goes out there, with the people, society, and history i feel. and jack can take her to wherever she wants to go. hell, he’ll even surprise her and bring her to places he’d think she’ll like.
with his experiences, he’s bound to have an endless list of plans for them to go through and it’s no surprise that she’ll love it, and (him) his gesture, nonetheless
jack wants to be noticed by others, to be seen and heard for who he is. and rapunzel is such a welcoming person that she accepts him wholeheartedly. give him the love he was deprived of for years.
reassure him that even he has a place to call home because why would he be excluded from that? he deserves it just as much as she and everyone else does
also i like to think they brainstorm ideas together
maybe it’s how they’re both game for an adventure, sudden or not, and this makes it easy for them to team up together and take on the world
or the feeling of familiarity as they click and everything flows naturally to them, where nothing is forced or uncomfortable between them
or how it’s like they can hold on to each other, knowing the other won’t let go no matter what because they’ll always have each other through the ups and downs
or it’s in their shared smiles, mischievous sparks in their eyes, moving together to the music of their synchronized heartbeats, as they step forward to the vast unknown
finding the ‘one’ who understands them inside out that they feel at home with them
i’ve said so many things and threw out so many brain rot, but what exactly is my final answer?
it’s simple: who knows? now before you toss me aside, and i hope not lmao, lemme just say even with that kind of final verdict, you can still find beauty in it.
you see, there’s so much more to explore and delve into with jackunzel because of their potential, that i don’t want to make a set answer for your question. i’d rather much help you, and anyone else wondering, to come to an answer yourself and maybe even share/discuss it with others.
i’m running out of brain juice, but i at least hope this helped satisfy your curiosity behind your question since this is all i can give… for now, maybe? who knows lmao
tho i’ll be honest and admit i based these on how i feel about jackunzel. so if ever someone else out there wants to add more points they thought of, feel free to add on this
#rotbtd#jackunzel#rise of the brave tangled dragon#the big four#jack frost and rapunzel#jack frost#rapunzel corona#holy hell what possessed me to type a damn essay lmao#my writing
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Oh yeah, might as well make another part of 'spoon appreciating (simping for) someone's writing'
I'll just start with the first major problem!! Will you take responsibility of making me simp for Verlaine and Mori?? Like...how?? I am not exaggerating when i say that that would have never happened otherwise. Your writing just changed my whole perception of the two :D and i'd like to ask "how!?" I only ever simped for chuuya and dazai! And now i simp for the boomer-times new roman-cursive versions of the two :,(
What's the problem, you may ask?🤔🤔
Well maybe the fact that my brain only accepts your portrayal of them?! None other!! (I have reread your mori & verlaine work countless times. And i still haven't grown bored of it)
So you can imagine the death grip your fics have on me 😔😔 they hold me by the throat.
And then there is something that I had mentioned once before, but I got reminded of it when I was going through a writing high last week.
The way you write some of the x-reader pieces from the Canon character's pov??? Genius. I know you didn't come up with it, but those fics in particular live in my mind rent free. Looking inside character's minds, and seeing them be whipped for reader??? I just-- I can't!! And it's unrequited love too!!
Une Larme in particular!! What have you done to my poor heart!! >:(
I can't even convey just how much i love the things you've written.
And when I say that, I mean, you indirectly changed my own writing style!! Which only happens when i read published work and see their writing style as ASPIRING...Who would have known a bsd x reader writer on tumblr will just go and climb on top of my 'fave authors list' ?? Is that allowed?? 👁👁
Yeah.
Voidcat >>> my faves at this point
And I'll make sure to read A Case Of Bad Luck on ao3 and send you my opinions as actual comments, instead of these (whatever you can call these) asks!!
The problem with these asks is that I started with just wanting to say what I like about your work, then I forgot to go into some things and had to send in another ask. And now that cycle continues as I keep finding things I have yet to say!!
(So yeah, part three of spoon dumping their unfiltered stream of consciousness on voidcat!! And this will surely not be the last!! the saga continues <3 )
And yes, I shall forgive your treason of doubting me 😌😌
ik i replied in a similar way to one of ur asks before but the fact that i LEGITHAVE NO WORDS THE WAY IM AT A LOSS OF WORDS WHEN I READ THESE?!?!??!!?PLSSSSSS idk what to say other than thank you for reading and thank you for sticking around dfsgdhf ily i May actually cry, im going thru one of my mood swings this week soif i cry its on YOU and You only (to emphasize my point:i rarely cry irl so magine the weight of my words rn... YEAH theyre huge)
and well.... good news ig? bc aqua and i were discussing abt writing a mori multchap fic adfsgxdhf genshin mafia au literally blinking at us rn it took us 6 months jusr to write the intro and we r gonna abandon it for a morally questionable hot doctor whos technically ex military....
and i suck when it comes to recording but i can naybe play une larme in vc one day if u want adfsgdfh i rlly dk what to say abt verlaine, his effect on me was so unexpected too...... i rlly a man suffering and go "yea bet im taking my claim on this poor meow meow now" (the meow meow in question: literally known as the king of assassings,,, but it ok im sweet he'd not harm me... right.....)
and ik i kinda exposed this bit abt myself in an answer to u before but maybe its bc i kinda write these stuff w7o a fic in mind???like as f wriiting smt and slapping a character name later on Or more like an analysis on a character/human and maybe thtas why it feels less like a x-reader fic sajdfdgf (i def opened this blog as 'wriitng practice' bc i wanted t expand my genre of og writings......now look at me still here after a year)
and ido like to tweak things from other character perspectivesbc i think i have this,, obvious profile for a reader adfsgd so i try to appear a bt more diverse. and ilikeexploring diff views if it makes sense:D (like how i cant relate to most mitski songs but i also /can/ bc i know i /couldve/ lived through the same pain, if not similar)idk humans are interesting and w bsd characters, the questioning of your humanity, emotions etc... i guess i just get it lol
and for bad luck i do have all the stuff posted and my links should work now so if its easier u can always read them here lmao
(also..... u can always have me as ur fave author ifi ever make that one idea of writingshort storiesinto a reality and get them published,,,,)
thank you for your forgiveness<333 i'll make sure not to hurt you like that next time ipromise
OHOH waiti forgot to add,, maybe the mori fic kinda hits bc at core,,, dazai and mori are not so different after all. in their few differences, dazai is (mostly) worse than him if we are being honest. but most of the mannerism and behaviors, even that damned smile and everything.... those are all the thngs mori has bled and blended into dazai. as much as the mighty feared port mafiaisactually just dazai, dazai mostly is just actually a copy of mori. (he just appears more charming/likeable)
so yea my "if you claim to like dazai but hate mori, youre a hypocrite" agenda is back again (lets ,gnore how i never mentioned it here before) <3
#fun fact i have a separate channel for it in the server but hidden bci didnt wanna spam anyone when i opened it#im atm using it as 'in case iforget smt' corner bc my messages w red are too much to word search and find smt now.......#l0shkasblog#answered#<3333 tysm for ur kind words ilyyyyy
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buttercup • richie tozier
(richie tozier x reader)
requested: Would you mind writing a Richie Tozier X reader soulmate AU where Richie is VERY self conscious and he finds out that the reader is his soulmate and the reader is well known and very pretty, so he’s just like djjdjfgjjcbvnfnf but once they actually meet she really likes him? :0 thanks if you consider!
warning: swearing, angst, richie being edgy and also a bit unstable (king shit), neuroatypical richie!!!, fluff, soulmate au!! <33 also sorry this may be rough, i havent edited it at all
[reader + losers are in college]
lmk what u guys think of this one,... idk LOL
4.1k words
♡
richie was about to be sick. yes, he really, really was going to vomit in approximately ten seconds and he didn’t know what he was going to do. the room, full of barely-adults chugging jungle juice was sweaty and bustling and the walls were closing in on him quick. those people who weren't in the main rooms were doing sniff in the bathrooms and blocking his pathway to heaven (the toilet) so he quickly stumbles towards the sliding-glass door.
he passes a guy who claps his shoulder and says in a deep voice, "you good, bro?"
no, no. he's not good, bro. thanks for asking, though.
as he finally breaks free of the plastic, out of the crusty balloon that was holding his body hostage, he takes a deep breath and sprawls himself on the back deck, staring up at the clouds in the nighttime sky. maybe he should go home and mull this over, before he crams it down his own throat and chokes to death, alone and broken on the back deck of a 22 year old business major's rental house.
he laughs to himself - an image which he's sure would be a full on maniacal scene to an onlooker - as he lights a cigarette with very shaky fingers. even if he chooses to give this situation some thought, he will end up being forced regardless because this is, quite literally, richard tozier's destiny.
y/n y/l/n is richie's destiny, and it makes him feel like complete shit.
you see - his whole life, richie knew about the fucking soulmate tattoos. of course he did, everybody did - it was, like, one of the first things you learn, ever. he knows that there's basically a soulmate for every person and often times the soulmate marks were different, the ways of finding your soulmate were wide and far.
for most of richie's life - actually, almost all of it up until the last month - he'd had a big, fat 0 tattooed on his arm and below it a humiliating phrase that was quite the epitome of richie himself.
yet it never changed, which led him, his friends, and his parents to determine that he'd gotten a time-counter soulmate mark, which he likes to pride himself on believing he did not give a single fuck about.
the number is supposed to count the amount of time that you've spent with your soulmate, and there's usually a sentence or phrase that's associated with your soulmate's first thoughts of you below it. and yeah, of course the first thing the lucky guy or gal thought of richie is 'wow, those are the ugliest socks ever.' pretty fucking on-brand, if richie says so himself.
so yeah, he never really paid attention to his soulmate mark - partly because the thought of emotionally opening up to someone enough for them to know his whole and true self was repulsive and terrifying enough to make him physically ill, enough for him to develop a crazy sense of humor as a less-than proficient coping mechanism for the insecurity and fear that lives in his mind rent-free, 24/7 365. but mostly he didn't pay attention to the mark because, you know, he thought it was lame.
that is, until it changed from the 0.
it happened on the first day of classes fall semester of this, his freshman year of college.
which, honestly, was a huge fucking bummer, because he literally came into contact with almost 800 new people that first day through classes, dorms, walking around campus, and the dining hall. and yet, as he got back to his dorm and smoked a bowl with bill, he'd noticed that his arm had said 00:51:26.
bill had been so excited he'd almost lifted richie through the roof, because 'holy sh-shit, rich, y-you did it!'
it was hard to believe someone was out there for him, though. and yeah, he didn't give a fuck about it, but he also kind of did.
richie, now thinking back on that day, groans a bit. if he'd just known, if he had just fucking looked at the thigh of the girl in front of him with the soft-looking grin and the alluring scent of orange creamsicle shampoo, who'd smiled a bit when he borrowed a pen - if he'd just known then that y/n was meant to spend the rest of her life with him, he could've... well, he's not really sure what he could have done.
he thinks to that moment in time, as he was blowing smoke out the dorm window with bill and giggling as he ate an entire bag of cheez-its, and how much he wanted to know who it was back then.
but tonight, it had become a nightmare when the information practically fell into his lap. he's at this house party in late september, and about five minutes ago it was just boring enough to warrant sitting on the rug in the living room and just fun enough to actually stay.
“-yeah, she said the first time you guys met was in microeconomics, right?” ben says, and richie huffs in agreement as he picks at the skin on his nails. ben was talking about her again, and richie's heart was beating stupidly hard. y/n, one of his closest friends that he'd made outside of the losers, never failed to make his heart run a goddamn marathon.
“-she told me the first thing she noticed was that you were wearing socks with sandals. and she thought that your socks were really ugly.” he finishes with a laugh and richie’s head snaps up at that. he feels chills spill over back as if he’d been doused with ice water and he gapes at ben. “wait, what?” richie shudders, the words escaping his lips quietly enough that his friends mistake it for a forceful exhale brought on by offense at the word 'ugly.'
“well she was right to think that.” stan says from behind his solo cup, carefree, as if richie’s life wasn’t crashing to an alarming and unbelievable halt. eddie giggles faintly somewhere from the floor where the losers are sitting, but richie’s mind is reeling too much for him to react to or even comprehend anything.
“rich, i th-thought i got you to st-stop wearing socks and sandals so long ago.” bill adds, laughing into his hand. but richie’s barely registering any other fucking information because he’s staring at ben, who is finally noticing his friend’s perplexed face. “you good, rich?” ben asks carefully.
“wh-er, wait. what exactly did she say?” richie asks, really not wanting to know the answer and yet wanting to know more than life itself. it can't be her. he’s getting odd looks from everyone now, but he's starting to breathe quickly and he thinks he might vomit. he kind of regrets never showing anybody but big bill his soulmate mark, because he's suffocating right now in embarrassment and bill is a little too drunk to assume what richie's assuming right now.
“wait, y/n y/l/n, right? from my dorm. she’s here tonight, she told me- oh, y/n!” stan calls, looking directly over richie’s shoulder. it happens so fast. y/n, in the flesh, walks past at just that moment, breaking out into a breath-taking, world-halting smile. richie's chest hurts worse than it ever has before as she waves and bustles over to plop herself next to richie. and holy shit, she's wearing shorts because even though it's cold out, the house is warm and richie can see dark ink on her thigh. a soulmate tattoo. he can't draw his eyes away even though his brain is screaming to knock it off because there's going to be something there he doesn't want to accept, but he then does it anyways.
he almost hyperventilates as he reads the words emblazoned on her thigh,
27:36:08 and right below it: "holy hell her hair smells like orange creamsicle"
he almost sobs right then and there as she greets him with a soft hand on his shoulder, completely unaware of their fate and richie has to stand up abruptly because he can literally feel the numbers changing on his arm as the seconds go by with y/n at his side.
and now, mere minutes later he's out here, laying in self pity as anxiety claws at every inch of his body and fear tingles on him like the slight presence of snowflakes falling on his skin - briefly he wonders if, as an older man, he'll wonder how he never got cold wearing nothing, vulnerable as he welcomes in that falling snow.
he would be totally daft not to wonder how he ended up with a soulmate like her, someone not only so fucking attractive but so kind and undeserving of a monstrosity of a human like him. she is, in every place he isn't, a complete and utter success of a person; he's a hurricane where she's whitecaps in the sea, he's loud and abrupt while she is kind and outgoing. maybe they do work well together, hell - they spend enough time on study dates outside of class for him to know that he does really like her. but richie also knows his standoffish, happy-go-lucky and untamed personality paired with his unwillingness to make himself appear vulnerable to most people will probably have a very large impact on... whatever it is that happens with y/n.
because that's really the point, isn't it?
she is stuck with him. bucky beaver, the trashmouth, mr. i-can't-keep-my-trap-shut-for-three-seconds.
y/n, the most incredible person in this world, is the kind of person that was designed for richie to admire from afar, as he is so willing to suffer through. because as much as it hurts to watch her and to love her without loving her, it is a thousand times safer for both of them than the inevitable look of disappointment that will befall y/n’s angelic features when she discovers who her burden of a soulmate is.
the thought makes richie choke out a weak sob, sitting up and digging the heel of his palms into his sockets, trying to scrub out the image of himself from his brain. awful, awful, bad.
he takes a long drag from his cigarette and for a brief moment he wonders if, just maybe, she’ll love him back eventually. the thought makes him feel like crying all over again.
huge nose, big teeth, awkwardly skinny and too tall. maybe he's got nice hair, but he sometimes wakes up too late and can only brush his teeth and swipe on deodorant before he's sprinting out his dorm with his pickle socks and stan's old sandals, trudging to class and getting in the way of y/n's future.
but he is her future, after all - how can that be right?
he doesn't have enough time to take another drag from his cig as he hears the glass door open, the noise from the party bursting through the gap in the foundation of the house and sending him back to five minutes, ago, inside. he cranes his neck and can't bring himself to be surprised when he sees her, backlit from the party inside and figure in his mind standing like the only being in the world.
she thinks he looks devastatingly beautiful tonight. she loves the awkwardness in his bones, the way he carries himself with confidence although she's not sure he always really has it. he's wearing some dumb socks again as usual, though they're mostly covered by his black pants and red high-tops this time. it makes her smile softly.
she wants to know him, really know him, as more than just a classmate, a crush, a boy who's friends with stan uris from the floor above her own room. she wants to feel his large hands on her in more than just fleeting greetings, knucks to the shoulder or jaw. she wants the sharp taste of nicotine and mint from those life savers he was always sucking on in her own mouth as he holds her tightly against him, she wants to know everything about him and be with him, even if they aren't somehow destined to be forever. which, she thinks with an array of wild animals tumbling around her chest, they might be.
after all, someone at this party is her soulmate, and she's almost 99.8% sure it's richie. it gives her the most beautiful butterflies she's ever had, even when he stares at her from the deck with glassy eyes and tear-stained cheeks.
"what’s up, buttercup?” is all she says, in her mind because he's stunned her to near-silence once again by just existing, and in his mind because she is the most perfect being.
he doesn't respond despite being completely charmed by her, because he's breathing in the nicotine and its making his fingers twitch and even though he's sober by now, he thinks he may be tweaking a bit, mostly from the overwhelming set of information that just smacked into his face when y/n walked over into that room.
he watches as suddenly she's dropping herself so she's sat next to him, her legs swinging off the edge of the deck. she eyes his cigarette. "that's so unhealthy, rich." she says softly, teasing but with a lacing of truth behind it that really makes richie itch to never smoke ever again in his life. but he's a stubborn ass, so he instead takes a deeper drag, maintaining eye contact. he can feel one tear slip from his eye and he feels so fucking melodramatic as he does so, but he's at the lowest he's been in a while, so he gives himself a bit of credit.
she reaches out and pulls the cigarette directly from between his lips, sending him a pointed look as she presses it out on the finished wood of the deck. he wipes the tear away when she's not looking. and as she turns back he smirks, unsure what else to do, as he blows the smoke out of his mouth towards her face.
"hi, toots." he says in what he hopes is a normal tone, despite his blotchy and tear-trailed face. she blinks her eyes owlishly at him but just shrugs, "you left a little prematurely back there. what, do i smell that bad?" she jokes. no, he thinks, you smell like orange creamsicles.
it's bittersweet, the irony in her statement. because he knows that she probably knows what she smells like every day, as it's literally tattooed right on the meat of her leg, on display for her and whoever else lucky enough to find themselves being acquainted with the skin of her upper thigh. the thought leaves a sour taste in his mouth.
maybe if he were feeling a little less in-the-dumps, a little less like a complete and utter disappointment and failure that ruined this sweet girl's life, he would have ribbed her back a bit. you know, grind her gears in typical tozier fashion.
but he's exhausted and so distraught that he can't bring himself to even look at her. "i'm not in the mood" he grumbles, his heart pounding. she frowns, tilting her head.
"okay, what's wrong, richie?" she asks, and it's in that caring voice that she uses that isn't pitying but simply solicitous in nature. her calming force on him is obvious and immediate and his teeth stop rattling around in his head
he wants to scream because she's burning warm and perfect while he's frigid cold inside his body; a wasteland full of broken slinkies and half-formulated 'your mom' jokes that are melded to the crust of him with the tar that's been sucked straight from those damn ciggies. for crying out loud, if he were to so much as touch her, she'd get corrupted.
she notices as he scoots a bit away from her, and her heart hurts. he's so upset, clearly, and yet it hurts her that he can't trust himself or her enough to open up; no fault of his own surely, but heartbreaking all the same. "i care about you, and i really want to be here for you." she says it like there's going to be more, but the words kind of die in her throat as she realizes the extend of her words.
holy shit, she thinks, i'd go to the ends of the earth for him. if richie asked me to, i think i'd probably kill the queen.
"i stubbed my toe, and it really hurts." he says then, and the absurdity of his excuse makes her laugh out loud, head tilting back towards the moon as the bubbly giggles tumble from her lips. she looks at him after and his face is a twisted mix of affection and utter pain, a combination that hurts her to her core but lights a fuel in her that makes her want to help him.
"it's true." he mutters, motioning to his shoe limply, and she looks at his foot, the tip of his converse scribbled in sharpie with the word 'half-brain' and then a bunch of hearts.
"i like your socks." she says absentmindedly, grinning at him as she says it, voice teasing. but the reaction she was hoping for was nowhere to be seen as richie suddenly heaves a hiccup-sob, one so upsetting and quiet that she thinks she misheard it.
but he's keeling over and clutching his face with his hands, shaking his head, and her heart breaks. "richie, honey please tell me what's going on. or i can just sit here, if you'd rather-"
her sentence is cut off with richies own rushed words, expelled from his mouth so quickly that it's almost as if they were trying to escape while his lips tried to hold them in.
"-you're going to have to spend the rest of your life trying to force yourself to love me, and that terrifies me.”
as he says it, his stomach twists itself inwards at his admission and he thinks he's going to be sick. he doesn't deserve you, you're going to resent him for it. she's silent for a few moments, and he doesn't dare look anywhere near her as tears trail down his solemn cheekbones and drop onto the black corduroy that wraps around his jittering legs.
"richie, please, what are you trying to say?" she says quietly, sounding scared, nervous, upset... richie did that. it's his fault. he tilts his head back, his brain buzzing in guilt. "fuck," he says, and it comes out broken, "you... i- you're my soulmate." he says, looking down to where his chest rises and falls almost unnaturally, a consequence of muscle memory being tampered with by the lethally college combination of nicotine, alcohol and marijuana on an empty stomach.
earlier he was afraid that if he opened his mouth too wide he would lose control of his tongue and then the words would come out without him wanting them to, but he knows he's basically sober by now, as sober as y/n is next to him - he's just neurotic, but he doesn't want her to know that, because oh god, what if she hated him for it?
she wouldn't, right? isn't she supposed to find a way to love him?
this was a really stupid idea, but in his mind it was one that had to be done. shutting his eyes, he tugs the sleeve of his left arm upwards, taking a shaky breath. again, it's silent as she reads the words written there. wow, those are the ugliest socks ever.
she stares at the words, and the number above it, then she looks at her own thigh, where the exact same number counts on in time with his.
he wastes no time, though: "-don't worry, doll. i've got it figured out, we can just- maybe we can get yours covered and you don't have to think about it anymore. fi-find someone better, like, oh, bill - he'd treat you nice i think. just- we don't have to think about it, i'm sorry." he says in one breath, not looking at her at all.
"richie, how can i be yours if you're not mine?" she says thickly because she's fighting off tears wondering how someone so incredible and full of life could feel so undeserving.
"you can't want me, you can't." he insists, not looking at her as she gapes at him because if he were to look at her expression he may lose it. it's quiet again in their own little world here, the air silent and numbing as y/n takes a breath.
"oh my god, wait richie how are we this stupid?" she asks, perking up and lightly slapping his arm. he looks at her in shock as she begins to laugh, "we've been alone together so many times. how did we not notice?" she asks, and he chuckles a bit, shrugging.
"maybe we're not the sharpest crayons in the drawer, toots. all i'm sayin' is that i figured it out first." he says cheekily, and secretly both of them are shocked to see how quickly they fell together, as if the knowledge that they were made for each other made all their insecurities fall away.
her face softens again. "you know, i saw my timer counting tonight and i was hoping more than anything that you'd be here. that we'd be-" she adds softly, a hand landing lightly on richie's thigh, sending licks of flames up his body. she takes a breath and restarts. "do you know how fucking bad i wanted it to be you?"
and just like that, y/n unintentionally provides a luscious mix of words and tricks that fill him with barely enough confidence to let him bet when he knows he should fold.
what's life without a little risk?
he meets her eyes for the first time in a few minutes and hers are large and hopeful as they wait patiently for him to give her something. but he still can't speak without running his mouth, so instead he cups her cheeks. her lips part slowly and he stares in awe at her raw beauty, unable to hold it in longer.
he presses his lips to her quickly and to her it feels like he is trying to prove something. it makes her heart soar as he comes alive against her, pressing as enthusiastically as she is into him. he tastes, as she'd guessed, like nicotine but mostly like a mint and it makes her grin as he pulls back.
"is this okay?" he's asking then, his thumb soothing over her cheek sweetly and giving her the same butterflies she gets when he smiles; the very same butterflies that release when he says anything to her, when he comes to her dorm for a study date with two red bulls in his hand, and when she realized their tattoos beat the same.
"yeah, of course." she whispers against his lips, the feeling of his teasing lightly making her sniffle. she presses their lips together again, this time warmer, more comfortably and his hands move to her hips and tug her closer, her hands winding to his neck as his own hands explore her body, caressing her sides gently. he pulls back and holds her softly.
"your hair smells nice." he says sheepishly, and she grins so widely she thinks she may split in two. her heart flutters as she looks into his eyes, finding nothing but love. "orange creamsicle, huh?" she asks with pink cheeks, and he laughs lightly, nodding his head. "best smell ever, babe."
"you make me happy." she says it onto his lips again, and the shiver that runs down his spine is a feeling he wouldn't mind feeling forever. his heart soars because he believes her, he trusts her. she wouldn't lie to him.
"we're so dramatic, aren't we?" richie jokes, his walls sliding back up a bit, but as y/n cuddles into his chest, head against his beating heart as she presses kisses to his neck, he realizes she accepts him.
"yeah, well. we're made for each other, aren't we rich?" she asks gently as his hand falls to brush over her thigh, right over the words. "that's right, toots." he says softly, looking down at her hairline softly, still in disbelief that it worked out for him. she turns to look at him, cheeks dusted a bit as she leans up to press a kiss on his lips.
tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @simplesammyx @dickology64 @clownsloveyou @baby-yoda-a @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @lets-vibe-bro @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @finnskindofwoman @kait-tozier @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @diorbubs
#richie tozier x reader#richie tozier has adhd#losers x reader#bill denbrough x reader#stanley uris x reader#mike hanlon x reader#eddie kaspbrak x reader#ben hanscom x reader#beverly marsh x reader#losers club x reader
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author meme redux
HELLO I’M BACK tagged by @septiembur to talk about how swaying evergreens came about!
okay so the backstory goes like this:
A friend of mine and I love playing this game we call to the pain where we send each other songs with instructions to listen to them and think about this ship/scene/story/etc and sit back and watch the other one go completely unhinged and incoherent bc the right song and the right dynamic will Do That To You. she also introduced me to tow’rs and we share a fairly rabid obsession with that band.
fast forward to this past december, she kicks down the door of my messages (or texts me, i suppose, if you want to be boring about it) like hey so tow’rs dropped a christmas album and even though i don’t really go here, special edition of to the pain, listen to swaying evergreens and think of brio. so i did and, even though the song was not a vibe i would generally gravitate towards for them, it hooked me and all i could think about was soft, quiet, snowed in morning sex bc like, idk, have y’all listened to it???? literally what else am i supposed to think about.
ANYWAY so that song lowkey ruined my life and i started crying to @foxmagpie about it as i do. she went a touch feral over the concept and even though i kept saying stuff like but megan! how did they get snowed in? why are they soft with each other? how did they get there from s3? she kept saying stuff like WHO CARES MEG OH MY GOD JUST WRITE IT. it slowly took root in my head and one night i literally sat straight up in the middle of the night (being married to me is SO FUN) like OH WAIT WHAT ABOUT LISTENING VERSE and I decided to write it for megan as a present.
As far as the backstory stuff goes, I’ve alluded to it a bit on here but I’ve lost a bunch of people this year and without getting too into it, one of those losses was very fresh when I got serious about writing swaying evergreens. I’ve been thinking a lot about grief and memory and how it shapes you in ways that never unshape and how we carry pieces of the people we love with us inside ourselves. All of that was compounded by a lot of angst over not being able to be with my family this holiday season and thinking about our traditions throughout the year (shamelessly stole the its a wonderful life stuff from my dad). Additionally I’ve always been mmmm I guess extremely conscious of how little the show gives us with so many of the characters’ backstories (I know we like to point to Rio a lot and true!! extremely valid! but also like, what holidays do Beth and Annie celebrate, you know? they’re all pretty blank slate) and that’s something I haven’t really engaged with much in my fic but something I want to try and get into more.
idek where I’m going with any of this but all of that was on my mind and ended up mixing together with the quiet little romantic pwp I initially wanted to write and the result was swaying evergreens which, fun fact! i have not been able to go back and reread since I posted it because I’m still a touch raw over the whole thing tbh, hahaha.
tl;dr go listen to tow’rs christmas album the holly & the ivy bc even if you’re not into christmas music (which i am VEHEMENTLY AGAINST TBH) it’s beautiful and i love it a lot.
tagging @pynkhues to tell me in detail how fake dating is going to feature in the pirate au which is not at all the point of this meme but she dropped that grenade as i was getting ready to post this and now i can’t think about anything else
okay but also @riosnecktattoo to tell me about how she came to foist clown porn upon us all or heart and soul bc i’m obsessed (or both both is good)
and @bathroombreaks to tell me about the origin of the howl’s au that lives rent free in my head
meme questions
recently I have become really fascinated with fanfic authors and what exactly was rumbling around in their brain that inspired a fic?
Was it a line of dialogue you couldn’t get out of your head?
A scene you wrote WAY in advance and then crafted the whole story around?
An image in your mind?
Inspiration from another form of media?
Maybe someone suggested something to you and it just TOOK off from there?
What is the root of your fic? The cornerstone -what is it all built around? The idea that started it all?
Tag an author & their fic. Let’s hear about what sparked your story. What exactly got your booty movin’ shakin’ motivated and writin’
#i will probably not delete this later hahahahahaha#tag games#shut up meg#swaying evergreens#listening through the air shaft#my fic
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at first i wanna write something serious, but somewhere along the way @vallern came up with a hc and everything went crack from there, and she helped me wrote this even tho she didn’t play the game, ugh her mind. so if u asking us about plot, tone, etc? we dont know her. this set in distant future or an au idk, no one knows
anyway, stay strong during this trying time, fellow clowns
tagging @somewillwin @uhh-the-green-thing @poppy-sin-clair @malvinghlein @jmojellybae @simpforpoppy
The sound of your heels echoed between the dull conversation of the other students, still lingering at campus after their class. You ignored the worried glances they throw at you. You didn’t care; it wasn’t the first time they gawked at you nor will it be the last, but this time, it felt different because you fucking knew why they were looking at you, and it’s not because of something good.
Good, bad, neutral.
Once upon a time it’s such a foreign concept for you; after all, everything is acceptable in the name of profit, your father once said to you when he taught you everything you need to know to take over the family’s company.
“Poppy, wait!”
You grit your teeth and walked faster, thankful because unlike some idiot you can actually walk in heels. Hell, you probably could climb Mount Everest with one.
“Poppy, holy shit, stop!”
You ignored him, but you can tell he’s getting closer to you.
You screamed when Carter caught up with you. He tugged your wrist until you stopped walking, almost making you fall because of the sudden movement.
“Let go of me, you idiot!” You hissed as you yanked your hand away from his big hand.
“Look, it wasn’t her fault!” Carter said between his panting.
Your cheeks burn, remembering what you just saw a few minutes ago. “I don’t care whose fault…”
“Persephone kissed her, okay, we were just hanging around waiting for you and…”
“Why are you even waiting for me?” You know your class was going to take forever so you told Bea to go on ahead with everyone else and you can go there with Uber or something since you just had a fight with your parents and they forbid Samuel to pick you up. You don’t want to hear the jocks complaining because you disturbed their lunch scheduled–and they called you drama queen–so you thought it's better if Bea and the others leave first.
Carter looked at you softly. “You’re our friend; of course we’re going to wait for you.”
You looked away, unable to keep looking at Carter's super cute dimple. “I don’t remember ever being friends with himbo.”
Carter laughed. “Look, if you don’t believe me, just see Veronica’s Pictagram, okay? She’s doing a livestream of us catching grapes with our mouth.”
“What the hell?” You better keep Bea away from these himbos, otherwise she would turn into one. Not that it would be that hard, since Bea had half of a functional braincell on her best day.
“Look, just, just see it for yourself, okay? Bea didn’t kiss Persephone, she caught her off guard. It wasn’t Bea’s fault, Poppy.”
“And why is she not here? Why is she not the one that chases me? Are you her minion now?” It’s not like you ever imagined a scenario where Bea chased you down like in those romance movies you secretly love starring midwestern America's favorite white actress, Reese Witherspoon, no.
“What? No, I’m not yellow, don’t call me a minion. That’s a low insult, Poppy. Even by your standard.”
“Carter, that’s not…”
“Everyone is trying to stop everyone from getting into a fight with Persephone.”
“What?”
“Well, the last time I saw, Chloe is trying to punch Persephone because she kissed Bea out of nowhere, and Ford and Luis are trying to stop her.”
You sighed, if this happened before Bea came into your life, you would probably have said something like she’s my minion, of course she did that. But now, after everything, after all the bad blood between the two of you, it was weird to hear that Chloe actually cared for you. She always has, but you still didn’t understand why would Chloe put up with your bullshit.
“Michael is holding back Zoey from calling her family’s lawyer.”
“What?”
“Zoey said what Persephone did is a sexual assault and she can get Persephone in jail for that.”
You knew that Zoey girl was smart and efficient. A tiny part of yourself was happy for Veronica when they both announced that they’re together now.
“And where’s Bea now? Why is she not here?”
Carter’s forehead crinkled. “Uh, I don’t know.”
“See, she doesn’t care about me! Then why should I fucking care?” You said, yet you actually fucking cared. That was the worst part. “I told Bea that skank is bad news, but what did she make me do? I had to apologize to that bitch! And look what it got me?” You raised your voice, trying to keep your tears at bay and jabbed Carter’s chest. “That bitch kissed my…” Girlfriend, you wanted to say, yet you swallowed the word back and it made your throat hurt.
The two of you haven’t talked about your status, not yet. Both of you had so many issues to deal with, and by the time it’s done, reality slapped you and reminded you that finals were just three months away. You couldn't afford to slack off; not if you wanted a relatively free summer vacation away from your parents' nagging and not-so-hidden disappointment.
“Look, Poppy…” Carter touched your wrist again.
“Don’t touch me!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Carter raised his hands in surrender. “Look, just… Hey, Poppy, wait!”
You didn’t need to hear your stupid ex-boyfriend apologize in behalf of your stupid…
Stupid ex-something.
__________________________________________________________
Thankfully, no other idiots were stupid enough to stop you from going to your dorm. You slammed your door hard, ignoring a voice that sounded like your parents’ at the back of your mind, angry at you for your childish behavior. ("Do not slam your door on me, young lady!")
You growled angrily when you realized you were wearing Bea’s new jacket, the jacket you gave to her a few weeks ago. It’s not that you were trying to change her style. Honestly, all those times you were mocking her style was maybe, just a little maybe, because you liked her, just a tiny bit. You'd rather die than to actually say that to her face, though.
Good girls don’t fall in love with another girl, Poppy.
Your parents' words kept echoing inside your head every time your heart beat faster whenever you saw Bea, and you were always listening to your brain instead of your heart. You still felt guilty every time you enjoyed bickering with her and pushing her buttons, because she made you feel alive. It was wrong. It was wrong and yet it was all you can feel whenever you think about her. Before you knew it, Bea had wormed her way into your brain, and now she lived in your head rent-free.
You ripped Bea’s jacket and threw it to the floor after taking off your heels. You looked over to Bea’s red jacket, lying on the floor with the back facing you. Bea still had that mindset where she wouldn’t spend money to pamper herself. “Jacket is a jacket, babe. Why do I need to buy something expensive if I don’t like it?”
So you tried to find something that Bea liked and it wasn't that expensive. Honestly, you were surprised with Taylor’s ability to find stores that sold medium-quality clothes and actually looked good. It was a marvel, your friendship, ugh you want to barf every time you say friendship, with Taylor. You never knew that thank you and please had so much power to control people. Whoever said you can catch more flies with honey was right.
You thought that maybe you should take a really nice and long bath to relax and forget everything that happened. But on another side, you were curious with what Carter said. He might be a himbo, but he’s no liar. So you opened your Pictagram and sure enough, Veronica’s livestream was the first thing you saw. You wanted to click it, but then Veronica might know that you see her livestream, and you didn’t want her to know. So you used your rarely used picta.
____________________________________________________________
“Okay, so how are we doing this?” You could hear Veronica’s voice; she was recording Bea, standing between Carter and Luis. Suddenly, Veronica moved the camera, and you saw Chloe talking with Taylor, but you couldn’t really hear what they were saying.
When the camera was focused on Bea again, Michael stood next to Carter, holding a bag of green grapes.
“Simple, Louis will throw grapes at me and I’ll try to catch it with my mouth.” Bea said with a smirk.
“And I’ll catch Michael’s throw.” Carter pointed to himself with both of his thumbs.
You heard Zoey's groan, because how clear her voice was, like Veronica’s, you had a hunch that she probably sat next to her girlfriend. “Babe, that sounds dangerous. Can you do something that doesn’t have any probability with either one of you end up in the hospital?”
Veronica laughed and now she was filming Zoey’s frowning face. “Let them, it’s good for the view.”
“Babe, no!” Zoey pushed Veronica’s shoulder, probably, but it only made Veronica chuckle.
“Come on, are you guys doing this or what?” Chloe yelled from her place, she’s eating that spicy chips your great-aunt bought from Indonesia during her vacation there. Ford was sitting next to her, and she slapped his hand when he tried to take the chips bag from her.
“Michael, didn't Trixie ask you to buy grapes?” Zoey said. “Isn’t that your girlfriend’s grapes?”
Everyone groaned at the same time, while Michael slapped his forehead while looking at the bag. “Oh shit, I forget!”
“Zoey, stop being a voice of reason for once!” Bea yelled.
Veronica’s camera was still focused on Bea and the jocks, and honest to god she stomped her foot like a toddler. You couldn’t believe these people once called you drama queen. “Well, I’m sorry, but without Poppy here, I’m the only one with the brain cell left between you intellectually challenged people!” Zoey huffed. She’s right; you’ve lost count on how many times you had to stop Bea and the jocks from doing something stupid and idiotic.
“Hey, I’m not that stupid! You take that back!” Veronica moved the camera to Chloe right before Chloe threw a chip at Zoey, both of them gasped in surprise. Thankfully, the chip landed at the table.
“Veronica, come on, record us!” Bea whined.
“Are you sure… Oh, Persephone.” Veronica’s voice suddenly went flat.
Your blood boiled when that fucking skank entered Veronica’s camera view. She pushed Luis away from Bea, while Bea waved at her.
“Oh hey, what are you…”
Everything happened all at once.
Persephone pulled Bea by her shirt and kissed her hard. You felt like you want to vomit and your body suddenly felt colder than before, you heard Chloe screamed, “You fucking asshole, let her go!”, and then she lunged forward only for Luis to and Ford to hold her back, while Chloe was kicking and screaming. And then you saw Persephone waved.
And that’s the picture Persephone sent to you and posted it on public for everyone to see. The one that made your world stopped spinning and holding you back from going to find Bea. She could kiss whoever she wanted, you keep telling yourself that, yet your heart shattered with every step you took away from her.
Veronica’s camera suddenly shook the moment Zoey stood up and yelled. “Let her go, or I’ll call the police!”
Michael pushed Persephone away from Bea.
The last thing you saw before the video ended was Bea’s furious face.
____________________________________________________________
You sighed deeply and threw your phone to your bed.
You knew it wasn’t Bea’s fault, you knew the moment you saw that bitch's smirk. And yet, you felt like someone burned what's left of your heart with jealousy and anger.
No, it wasn't anger. It was another emotion you haven’t acquainted with, one that is similar to what you always feel every time your parents break their promises to you.
Disappointment.
("We can't go to Seoul this summer, Poppy, Auntie Na-ra is probably busy. Besides, wouldn't it better to spend time with Peter? Help your dad get that tender, will you?"
"But I called Auntie a few days ago and she said she's free anytime!"
"Spending time with Peter is more important, Poppy. You could go see Auntie Na-ra at winter break. This is more important.")
But you didn’t understand why you would feel that way for this kind of situation; it should’ve been anger, consuming you with passion until you burned everything down within your reach.
It should’ve been anger, because you understood anger. It was one of your best friends beside loneliness and fear, you knew it too well and anger understood you like no one ever does.
But instead of the comforting burn of anger, you felt the coldness of disappointment at the bottom of your empty heart.
Before you could analyze this anomaly further, you heard commotion from outside of the Zeta building. Even before you walk toward your window, you know the source of said commotion.
“Luis, I thought you said your speaker work!” Bea raised her voice.
“Well yeah, that’s before Ford threw my speaker to the freaking wall!”
“Bro, I didn’t know it’s a speaker, okay? It looks like a brick! Why did you even buy that?”
“So you like to randomly throw bricks at walls?”
You folded your arms and watched Luis trying to fix his broken brick speaker from your window. He slapped Ford’s hand away when he tried to touch it.
“No!”
Faintly, you could hear Irene Cara’s voice singing What a Feeling. You tried to keep your face impassive, but it was hard since your body remembered what you usually do while listening to this song. (Trying to copy Jennifer Beal's iconic dance routine and failed, every single time.)
If it wasn’t because Bea spent so much time using your Spotify (premium, thank you so much), you would probably be horrified that she knew your favorite song. You once offered her to pay for the premium, not out of the goodness of your heart, but because she’s kept forgetting to subscribe for premium feature, and you’re so tired hearing the ads every time you actually enjoying the flow of Bea’s playlist. She had, surprisingly, a decent taste in music.
Instead of accepting it like a normal human being, Bea just copied her playlists to your Spotify. Good thing you already tidied up your playlist and you had to make sure that Bea didn’t put a new song there. And also you made sure your private playlist stayed private. You don’t need her to mock you for your anime soundtracks playlist. Bea could say whatever she wanted ("You like a goddamn Naruto song?!") but Flow's GO!!! is an absolute banger and nothing could change your mind, thank you very much.
You almost lost your shit when Bea asked your favorite music genre. Good thing your father trained you well and you could compose yourself and answered diplomatically. You had to bite your tongue when you heard Bea said Hey! Say! Jump! was overrated. The disrespect!
You didn’t talk to her for three days until she begged for your forgiveness. God, your reputation would never recover if people knew that your actual taste was somewhere between a Midwestern white mom and a goddamn middle schooler weeb.
You blinked a few times when you heard the beginning note of Barracuda from Luis’ broken brick speaker. Well, you did accidentally tell Bea that you like this song, who doesn’t anyway? It was a bop.
But you didn’t tell her that your real dream date was actually rollerskating with Barracuda blast in full volume. You didn’t spend 137 dollar and skipped classes for three days straight to watch Birds of Prey nonstop during the first week of its release for nothing. Plus, Margot Robbie beating men with bat and rollerskating? Yes please.
“Yes!” Bea screamed in joy when the speaker was in the right place and actually worked. She looked up to your window, holding the speaker on top of her head. Well, at least she’s not holding her old Xiaomi with its cracked screen, otherwise you would probably—
Never mind, Luis was holding her phone.
You groaned, trying to hide your embarrassment. God, her family is rich now; can’t she spare some of the money to invest in her gadget? You hated it every time you sent her emojis and she was just “Babe, it’s just squares.” Or she just sent a screenshot of your text (she changed your name in her phone, it’s Satan Popsicle now) and it’s rows and rows of squares instead of emojis.
“Poppy, babe, please…”
Before she could say anything else, the sound of Spotify ads suddenly replaced Barracuda, making everyone gasped in surprise.
“What the fuck?!” Bea yelled angrily and looked over to Luis. “Luis, what the hell, man?!”
“Sorry, sorry! I accidentally hit the next button! I didn’t know you didn’t have a premium feature! Who the hell doesn’t have Spotify premium anyway?”
You sighed deeply and rubbed your forehead, already feeling the incoming headache, while everyone was fighting with everyone down there. You saw Bea already hugging Zoey and Zoey was patting Bea’s back in comfort, you couldn’t hear Bea say something, probably she was frustrated because she didn’t use Zoey’s phone or that she blamed herself because she kept forgetting to download the Spotify's premium APK. Probably the latter, since you knew how much she loved that APK. You don't know, you're neither a peasant nor poor enough to go into the world of blackmarket apps. You're too pretty for Android.
You took Chloe’s shoes that you secretly stole from her room. Those shoes were hideous. Getting rid of it was basically a public service. Chloe should've thanked you. Then you threw one of the shoes, but it hit Carter instead of Luis.
“Get lost, all of you.”
“Poppy, what the hell?! How do you even get my shoes?!” Chloe screamed as she took her ugly shoe.
“It's so hideous, Chloe.”
“Oh you’re just jealous because they don’t have your size!”
You gasped and threw the other shoe at Chloe, it only hit her shoulder, damn it. “How dare you! Get lost, all of you, right now!”
“Oh, come on!” Zoey yelled. “It wasn’t Bea’s fault, Satan!”
“I don’t care, new money, get fucking lost!”
Bea held Zoey back and shook her head. “Come on, let’s just go.”
Zoey was torn looking between you and Bea. “Babe, what the fuck. Poppy…”
And then Bea finally looked at you with that soft and understanding smile. You hated it, you once yearned for it.
“It’s okay, come on.” She knew that you need more time, and she’s willing to give it to you because she was that nice.
Veronica was the last one to leave. She raised her eyebrow, but you stood your ground. You saw her type something, but you didn’t really think much of it. Veronica and her phone was one entity anyway.
But then you saw your phone, and it looked like Veronica actually had something to say.
watch my livestream, youll know the truth
idc bitch
Me & zoey r gonna leave this weekend 2 hang w Jaylen, do whtvr u want with that info
meaning?
idk talk w ur gf or have tons of sex
shes not my gf
lol k
You huffed loudly and threw your phone to your bed, good thing it didn’t miss or you need to buy a new one, again.
You paced back and forth inside your room; it feels weird without Bea here. Maybe you should go to her room? It wasn't her fault, after all. That fucking whore was to blame. She ruined your life once and while yes, sure, you had your revenge, now she’s back into your life again, and she’s already destroying everything.
You bit your nail, ignoring the sound of your mother from the corner of your mind reminding you not to bite your nails. ("Poppy, I will tie your fingers if I have to. Stop biting your nail, it's crass and disgusting.")
You gritted your teeth and took your phone from your bed and Bea’s old jacket from the floor. If this went wrong, you’re blaming Veronica.
____________________________________________________________
“Poppy, what…”
You pushed the door wide open, forcing yourself to get inside Bea’s room. Now you’re standing in front of Bea, unsure what to say. What could you possibly say in this situation, anyway? And you still don’t understand why you felt disappointment. At what, exactly?
When you craned your neck to meet Bea’s eyes, because fuck her for being six foot tall, you finally understood why.
“I hope you slapped that bitch after what she did to you.”
Bea chuckled and shook her head. “No, but I broke her nose.” She raised her eyebrow when you took her hands. “Um, Poppy...”
“Next time, if I told you that you shouldn’t trust a rich kid that isn’t spoiled to the core, listen to me,” you said without breaking eye contact.
Bea sighed. “Okay, I will. I thought it was just your old self talking shit about Persephone.”
“Well, yeah, that too.” You let go of Bea’s hand. “But that skank is basically a bad news.”
“Yeah, whoever thought she would try to get back at you like that?” Bea scratched her neck. “I’m sorry, but can we stop talking about Persephone now? I don’t want to hear her name ever again.”
You nodded.
“Is that all?” Bea raised her eyebrow. “I mean, you can just text me for that.”
You bit your lips. You don’t want to do this, you really don’t. “Okay, you’re right." You tried to fight the urge to say something negative or to backtrack.
Bea’s forehead crinkled. “About what?”
“Kanashimi is better than GO!!!,” you said with a grimace, as if you just swallowed a gallon of poison. Might as well.
Bea laughed loudly. “Finally you admitted that I’m right. Wait, how do you know…”
You never said Bea, you’re so fucking wrong and uncultured, GO!!! is the ultimate opening every time Bea said Kanashimi was way better than GO!!!, you only said that I’m too pretty to heard those songs, but I know you’re wrong.
You ignored her questioning look and climbed into her bed. “I’m using my Netflix’s account since I’m sure you don’t even have a Netflix account. I don’t understand why you’re so adamant to watch from Fmovies. You'd better pay for Netflix than for Nord.” Kids these days with their Netflix and shady streaming sites, they would never understand the feeling reading some batshit subtitle translation or watching thirty parts of videos on YouTube.
“What?” Bea was still standing in the middle of her room like an idiot.
“Well? Do you want to watch Naruto or not?” You huffed, already feeling your cheeks getting warmer. You never showed this side of you to anyone else, and now here you are, baring your soul in front of your ex-nemesis. Yes, you counted opening up a bit about your weeaboo side as baring your soul.
Bea laughed, honest to god laughed out loud while bending over and hands on her knees like you just said one of the greatest jokes in the universe.
You growled lowly in your throat and then you climbed down from her bed. “Fine, spend your weekend on your own then, I don’t care. I have a lot of reading to do anyway.” By reading, you mean there was a new chapter of Gokushufudou that just came out yesterday, but she didn't need to know that.
But Bea stopped you when you’re walking past her; she touched your wrist gently. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh.”
“You did.”
Bea laughed again, that stupid idiot. “Okay, yes, I am. But it’s because you keep saying ‘I’m too pretty to watch anime’ but you know way too much about it.” You just grumbled when Bea said that while doing an impression of you. It’s bad. You were way cuter when you were being haughty.
Before you could say anything, Bea bent down and kissed your forehead. You felt your forehead burned pleasantly from the gentle touch of her lips. “And of course I would love to watch Naruto with you.” She grinned. “After all, I taught you the power of friendship, believe it.”
“I hate you.”
“I know, I hate you too, Miss ‘I’m-too-pretty-for-anime’,” Bea said adoringly. “But we’re going to skip Shippuden, right?”
“Bitch, that’s the best part of Naruto.”
Bea rolled her eyes, but she’s smiling. “You have a bad taste.”
“No, I have a good taste.” You kissed her lips tenderly. “Because I chose you,” you whispered softly.
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𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 | teacher!hoseok
��𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵
jung hoseok / reader
teacher + expecting parents au!
genre: fluff fluff fluff (and a lil baby bit of smut)
+ bullet fic version :)
words: 26k (so maybe read this on a laptop but if you insist on a phone then don’t say i didn’t warn you!!!!)
warnings: graphic language, smidge of nsfw content, student/teacher relationship, jung hoseok being the best boyf and parent ever :(
a/n: y/n is legal !!! hoseok is the typical cliche young teacher !!! i love this story a lot (i plan to write it in full soon!!! just whenever i have time teeheehee) ((also im really sorry the balloons look demonic idk what happened and honestly. too lazy to edit it)) (((this fic is a MONSTER!!! i’m sorry in advance!!!)))
disclaimer: as per freaking usual, keep reading does not work on mobile. i am so sorry because this is SO LONG and big but its ok :( because it’s dad hoseok :(
(gif is not mine!)
happy new year (as a starting note!) i was gone for a long, long time on this blog and did actually consider getting rid of it entirely, however, i’m back to share things that i love and hopefully, you can all enjoy the things i create also. i don’t usually write like this, but i saw a variety of writers adopt a “bullet-list-style” of writing, which i found to be quite efficient. i am the world’s slowest writer and so writing like this actually helps me publish a lot of my ideas without feeling the pressure of writing out like 300k word fics that honestly get ignored. regardless, here’s my first post (technically) of the new year. (this idea has been in my drafts since the “cosykims” days, and og followers will recognise the title.)
now i don’t care what you say, every single school, college or university has that one teacher who is just way too young to actually be a teacher
you briefly remember high-school, with your physics teacher who was just way too young- like borderline could be a student themselves, and yet here they were with their rainbow stationery set teaching you the speed that light travels
and it’s universally known that some people are like child geniuses and end up graduating university aged three or something really bizarre and crazy
(obvs sarcasm)
so, for the love of god...why was there no young hot professor for you to spy on during your lectures
you’re currently a second year uni student, studying visual arts
which, by the way, is awesome
you started off initially very interested in just drawing, but taking modules in sculpting was something you actually found yourself loving and, not to brag, but you’re also pretty good at photography
like as a kid you could probably be found eating crayons and snorting felt fumes like you were an art junkie
kids in your classes were asking for leapfrogs or action figures for christmas but here you were asking for a £300 pencil colouring set along with a “by numbers” colouring book
picasso is shaking rn
like...funny how leonardo da vinci hasn’t released any new artwork since you were born….hm inch resting
“y/n. you, me, some other people, smirnoff and dr pepper, house party, saturday night, is it a yes, or is it a yes?”
jeongguk has been your best friend since your first semester at university; he also took visual arts and does extremely well in all areas, particularly photography and cinema/media study. ever since you partnered together after both being the first ones to turn up to the first class, you’ve been stuck together like glue, even going as far as to rent out a flat together for your second year (along with three other people, just to make the rent easier)
“uh, actually, no, i can’t, as tempting as that whole ordeal sounds.”
“but then when am i gonna see you?”
“i literally see you every day, we LIVE TOGETHER..”
“it’s not the same thing!!”
every saturday for you is the “flat 18 party night” which literally translates to the day that your entire flat go out to any party they can get invited to and just get smashed
it started off as a you and jeongguk thing but then when you moved into flat 18 at the start of your second year, it became a you, jeongguk, haseul, jimin and seunghee thing, and by extension, a year 2 uni student party since the rest of your flatmates found the need to invite all their other friends
basically it was the only day of the week where you were really granted a day off
and jeongguk really fucking loved party night saturdays
“well, what’s the reason then?”- the two of you are currently on your way to your last class of the day; it’s a sort of orientation day for upcoming students who can’t attend the open days next weekend, and so your visual arts professor (who happens to be an actual BEAST) ended up cancelling afternoon classes to help another professor sort out the gym
“family wedding sort of thing,” you explain as you walk. “if i could get out of it, trust me, i wouldn’t. i don’t know if my kidneys can handle another night of drinking. i hadn’t recovered from saturday until wednesday!”
“i’m pretty sure it’s your liver that gets affected by alcohol, but go off i guess...”
“ANYWAYS so yeah i’m sort of maybe like head bridesmaid and i have to be there so….yeah….can't make it :(”
jeongguk then discovers that the wedding is for one of your cousins that you were always really close to, and so even when he’s still really bummed out about you not being there for the “big shindig” he lets it go
especially because he of all people knows that you’ve never been particularly close with all of your family members and it’s only very recently that you got back in touch with them all (just after your first year of uni, to be precise) and he knows how much it means to you
haseul is one of the only other person in your flat who is an “art” major
she actually studies theatre and performing arts but she likes to still be in on the art grind with you and guk
(fun fact: the trio of you called yourselves “art attack” as a funny joke and all have printed art attack door signs in the flat)
haseul always always always tries to wait for both of you after classes because the performance hall and practise rooms are like RIGHT THERE and she’s sort of a little creature of habit and after waiting once or twice it just became a natural thing
today though she’s not waiting because apparently seunghee is doing a biology project and needed help moving it and setting it all up in the labs and haseul was free and so offered her services
usually if you’re free, anyone of you will wait for each other after classes
haseul usually waits for you and guk and then sometimes you guk and haseul go to get seunghee and jimin, especially on thursdays and fridays since they are sort of the weekday party dates
“are we going to see the project after class?”
you glanced up from your canvas stained with reds and blues towards jeongguk who actually hasn’t even looked up from his own drawing, still painting the still life ugly ass vase in the middle of the room
class is actually really quiet today, which makes sense because it’s a friday and there’s always, you know for a fact, a student union get together on thursday evenings and half the uni abuse it and get hammered
and so uni is literally DEAD the next morning
“um yes of course I really wanna see her volcano in action okay i helped make that.”
“technically we all helped make it...”
“well nobody ASKED YOU FOR YOUR OPINION.”
eventually your class ends early because it’s literally just you guk and some other kid who doesn’t talk to anybody and so you and guk decide to head over to the biology labs in the science department
judging by the time, their class should actually be over but knowing seunghee and her stubbornness, her volcano is most definitely still there shooting little rocks onto the floor
rightly predicted because seunghee stands really proud next to her dodgy looking volcano that everyone in flat 18 helped make while off their rockers
and haseul is awkwardly sitting on a stool to the other side, admittedly on her phone playing zepeto or whatever
“tell me it isn’t the best volcano you’ve ever seen!”
“seunghee, baby, it’s so cute, i LOVE the way it’s literally falling apart!!” jeongguk and seunghee have a super loving friendship, sometimes you sit back and think they’d be the cutest couple on planet earth and then you realise that its GUK and HEE and you wanna erase that thought from your head
guk takes a really quick pic on his phone so he can show jimin, who would definitely complain otherwise because “i literally painted the whole thing brown i think that deserves recognition!”
“please tell me it got a passing grade”
you sort of need seunghee’s volcanic mess to have passed because you did not have to hear her talk about how excited she was to present her volcano that actually burned things if you put it close enough for six days straight, just for it to flop and get nothing
“i personally loved the reinvented cliche of the volcano model, so i actually gave it higher than passing.”
you turn almost embarrassingly quickly
because
well
you know that voice
everybody with brain cells knows that voice
cause like
professor jung is literally THE biology professor
like he’s the king of biology
you have to admit to yourself that you were secretly so happy when guk made friends with seunghee through jimin (a physics major) because you knew through the grapevine that seunghee was a student in professor jung’s class and everybody and anybody knows that professor jung is the Daddy of biology
like he’s so gorgeous and inventive and creative and passionate and sometimes you just sit there and think “why the fuck didn't i take biology??”
and then you remember that the only thing that helped you get through high school biology was the fact that seo youngho (god bless his soul) sat next to you and gave you all his answers on internal exams
he’s also one of THOSE professors
like he’s one of the cliche fanfiction Young Genius professors
granted he’s still a solid four years older but still, it’s in the legal age frame and he’s still remarkably young to be a uni professor and that’s what you tell yourself when you feel guilty about thirsting over him and the way he looks so damn sexy in that white lab coat and black turtleneck
ANYWAY
when you see him you kind of flush and look away
it’s not obvious that you like him tbh, because you’ve by now mastered to keep it under control unless around flat 18 and incredibly dangerously drunk
that of course doesn’t stop guk from smirking next to you and giving you little nudges which is, quite frankly, annoying as FUCK
tbh flat 18 know you thirst over professor jung and so they waste no time trying to bring it up deliberately, but you’re not obvious at showing you like him in front of him
cause he’s popular and definitely has a group of girls in seunghee’s class who like him a lot and giggle obnoxiously like its high school
you’re not THAT desperate
“oh, good, because i didn’t want it to be a waste of my time.”
he raises a brow
“...becAUse i had to listen to seunghee talk about how good her project was all week. HERS, that she worked on totally alone. like i didnt even know she was doing a project- wow, seunghee, did you make this volcano? wow hahah look at that guys!”
not that professor jung even cares that she got help
seunghee is the only student who respects his crazy biology analogies and jokes so she’s naturally one of his faves
“yeah, and, prof jung didn’t give us homework so im completely free for tomorrow’s big shindig.” seunghee says, still smiling really proudly
“first of all why is everybody saying shindig, second of all i cant go to that so im sorry please don’t post it on snapchat because it will hurt my feelings that you’re having fun without me” and everyones like :) and then like :O :(
bear in mind professor jung is literally still here, he’s just by his desk tidying up only half listening because kids are wild these days and he doesn’t remember having half as much fun when he was in university
“um. WHAT why???? you know saturdays are our days like those are the days we actually get to see you because you’re always in your room sleeping or working”
“that’s not true at all, that’s very inaccurate...”
“you literally watched all 7 seasons of game of thrones in less than three days two weeks ago and i dont think i saw you once during that time”
valid point
“im at a wedding :( and i cant miss it :( even for dr pepper and vodka :( im sorry :(”
at that point professor jung scares you all back into reality. “oh wow that’s so weird because i’m at a wedding too this weekend, actually. wouldn’t that be so weird if we were at the same wedding?”
please be at the same wedding as me “omg imagine that ahhaahha”
but then you realise that’s just not realistic
and even if it was realistic for professor jung hoseok to attend your cousin’s wedding then nothing would happen because weddings are big and busy and you like barely know professor jung beyond making small-talk with him when you’re waiting for seunghee to hurry up and pack away all three of her pencil cases after classes
you actually forgot how stressful weddings are
the last wedding you went to was your aunt’s wedding when you were like five and you were a little flower girl who ruined all the wedding photos by covering her ears and scrunching up her face because the church bells were really fucking loud
which as a kid you thought was perfectly valid, but now that you’re twenty turning twenty one you realise how annoying it must be to have a mongrel child pulling ugly faces at the front of your precious wedding photos
“remind me to never ever get married”
your mom kinda just looks at you and frowns
“i remember when i got married i had my maid of honour and bridesmaids do everything for me so i was actually really relaxed. maybe when you get wifed up you’ll be the same”
wise words from mrs l/n that you’ll probably forget within the next five minutes!
even though it’s so infuriating sorting out the brides big ass dress and making sure that the designated flower girl (who btw is not as good as you were aged 5 dressed in pink and wearing barbie trainers) doesn’t spill all the goddamn petals onto the floor before the aisle, you find that the ceremony is actually really kinda beautiful and touching and yES, maybe the vows made you tear up a little bit
and you bARELY remember the greeting ceremony afterwards which is basically another way of saying “wait for us to get back while we sign these papers” which is also another way of saying It’s time for all the guests to awkwardly wait around and not do anything
you literally haven’t met a single person from the groom’s side of the family and you’re not really interested in doing so until the after party
like most after parties this one is pushed up in a hired out room near the venue and it’s dark and slightly sweaty and hey, at least the food is nice and OMG they have baby sausage rolls
after obviously talking to your family for a little bit, you occupy your time by the snacks and the bar just kind of moving between the two
yknow just minding your own business
“woah, they have tiny sausage rolls, too?”
oh god
you instantly turn around like its deja vu or something
there is no way that professor jung is standing right there at your COUSINS wedding like its no big deal
“...prof JUNG?? omg what are you doing here??”
“i jinxed it! the groom is actually one of my family friends. yeah, he’s been like best friends with my sister since they were in school and so we were close growing up.”
it’s sort of a relief, somewhere deep down inside, knowing that professor jung isn’t like indirectly related to you through marriage
“and, please, y/n, we’re not at school!! please call me hoseok!”
you’re like tearing up inside,,,,on a first name basis with the hot biology professor.,,,,,.....,,, it’s a miracle
also
how does he know who you are
“i didn’t know you knew my name,” you sort of blurt it out as you think it and he starts laughing really cutely and takes like three sausage rolls off the plate on the table
“well, you’re seunghee’s friend! and uh, the bride literally said your name in the speech at dinner.”
“oh. okay well cool haha yeah. wow. this is so weird.”
you actually thought prior to this moment that talking to professor jung- HOSEOK- even when you’re with seunghee in the labs would be really awkward????
because you’re no biologist and the only thing you remember about biology was a video that scarred you for life about a whale's stomach exploding everywhere like the t-rex out of land of the lost
and plus because he’s cute and smart and also a teacher which was. pretty much a big deal...like a big big deal
“okay, but you’re also legally old enough to do it..it’s not like you’re fifteen and he’s thirty,” said the sadistic voice in your head. you liked to ignore that voice a lot
but contrary to popular belief hoseok is actually really really easy to talk to
it’s almost like he’s been your friend for like your entire life and it’s only a little bit weird for you to be laughing your ass off with your friends biology professor at your cousins wedding but hey anything can happen and at least you’re having fun !!!!
naturally…...fun can go…….well…….too far……….sometimes
it’s like quarter to midnight and the party is still going strong and your cousin is like really going for it on the dance floor with your mom and a few of your other family members and oh wow look at this at some point you’ve ended up smushed against hoseok’s side with another glass of smirnoff and dr pepper in honour of flat 18 having fun without you rn
and he doesn’t seem to mind about the way you lean up with your whole cleavage against his chest to talk to him bc its loud as fuck and he can’t hear you from up here
and haha. wow look!
at some point during this fine hour mr jung hoseok has slung an arm around your waist and has his nose in your hair with his lips by your ear because its LoUd As FuCk iN hErE and you won’t be able to hear him
“i said do you want to step outside? its really hot in here” he asks and you have to physically stop yourself from snogging his face off because there’s no way he’s actually looking that good rn
you probably look awful and flustered and sweaty
“oh yes sure yeah ok yeah lets go we can go out to the patio or something”
and of COURSE your poor mother has no idea that the man around your waist is a professor at ur university so she sees you...actually with somebody and smiles really wide and turns away
at this point she’s just shocked that you’re with somebody because lately you’ve only been with flat 18 or nobody at all
you discover very quickly actually that hoseok is stroking his hand up and down the side of your body which okay, alexa, this is epic
“it’s nice and cool out here i thought i was gonna roast to death inside of there.”
hoseok, again with his cute laughter that has apparently become throaty and deep and you almost have to double check it’s still him because it majorly caught you off guard
“right? too many people, it always makes me feel really hot and claustrophobic.”
you hummed. “yeah, and it’s so sweaty and sticky like [cousins name] really couldn’t have opened up a few windows huh.”
he nods and watches you as you just keep talking and talking and talking
“and, let me tell you, this dress is so uncomfortable”
he looks you over. “you look gorgeous. the dress- i mean, the dress looks gorgeous”
“yeah it’s just a shame it’s so itchy and tight”
“mm? wanna go and change?”
“honestly i kind of just want to get out of it.”
you sort of share a look for a solid three seconds
and there’s like a really brief moment where you regret saying it
maybe he hadn’t meant anything by stroking your body and staring at you with a darkened look and holding you tightly when one of your FAMILY MEMBERS said hi to you and smiled and brushing his lips by your ear like maybe all of that was platonic? maybe he remembered you’re a student (although not hIS student) but still!!!!
you’re 0.5 seconds away from blurting out an almost sober apology when he mutters a, “fuck it,” under his breath that you barely even register and then he’s holding your face with his hands and bringing you in for a fat smooch
at first you’re just really surprised because even though you wanted this to happen you weren’t necessarily expecting it to happen
hoseok pulls away sort of dejected because “why aren’t you kissing me back :(” and thats all it takes because you’re pulling him in for round 2 of smooching and it’s almost like you’re not in the courtyard by the patio directly near the windows of the party and it’s not as if people can see you smooching professor jung haha no way! That would be insane!
“i” kiss “really” kiss “shouldn’t” kiss “be” kiss “doing” kiss “this” and he pulls away and then kisses you really really deeply “but” kiss “itsokjustpleasedonttellanybody”
for a moment you both like ruin the mood by assuring each other you won’t say anything and most people at that point would have been like, alright let’s call it a night haha this was fun and awkward
but :( he’s already hard and ur already really in the mood to bone the Daddy of biology so it would be a waste if you didn’t just….continue
hoseok very quickly discovers the perks of being head bridesmaid because your suite is gorgeous and big
“wtf i’m sharing a room with my uncle this really isn’t fair!”
“the many pros of being related to the bride! look i even have a mini fridge and it’s got loads of strawberry milk in because like its my favourite and they really treated me here and-”
not that he doesn’t want to hear you talk because he’d love to but omg he’s hard as heck and would rather get down to it instead of talking about the excessive amount of strawberry milk in ur fucking mini fridge the size of his BED
surprisingly even though you’ve wanted to at least hold professor jung- HoSeOk-’s hand for like an entire year, you haven’t put THAT much thought into having sex with him
well
actually like finger fucking does not count
nor does him between your legs
no they do not count to you in your mind especially when he quite literally helps you out of your dress and strips you to just your underwear
which, BTW, thank FUCK you brought your sexy stuff just in-case the groom had any really hot friends
thankfully he had jung hoseok
y/n: 1 life: 0
rewind like 0.3 seconds
so. hoseok apparently knows this venue like the back of his hand because he manages to direct you to your wing within like three minutes which is pretty impressive considering it took you thirty to find it this morning
regardless he’s really gentle considering he wants nothing more than to plow you into a nearby hard surface and like you know when someone ghosts their fingers over your skin and it tickles but it’s a nice tickle and your whole body shudders
yeah
well
professor jung does that a lot
he takes a liking to sitting on the end of the bed, between the two posts, while you’re firmly seated on his laps with your legs on either side of him, which is the long way of writing You Are Straddling Seunghee’s Biology Professor
“you’re so pretty” his voice is sort of muffled by your hair and skin and you can barely even focus on his voice because there’s so many things happening rn it’s hard to process it all
do you focus on his voice? his one hand on your back? his other hand literally on your arse? his crotch against yours? the little guttural groan he does between kisses?
it all just feels surreal and amazing and oh WOW jung hoseok has a hand between ur legs
he loops his fingers around your underwear and moans (shudders? you can’t tell but whatever he just did like you need him to do it again cause WEEEWWWW) and like lets them go suddenly
and we’re back to before; hoseok moves to dip underneath your jaw and helps you out of your tight and uncomfortable but expensi-
“did. di-did you just . rip my dress?”
“....i swear i didn’t do it on purpose.”
“omg this dress was on loan oh my GOD”
“im SORRY the zip got stuck and so i tugged i didn’t know the whole dress was gonna rip in half this material must be cheap, honey you got SCAMMED”
you realise that you’re not actually going to be the one to pay for it since the bride said she’d cover the prices of dresses and you instantly sort of relax (although, sorry to your cousin that she’s gonna have to pay extra now lol)
“okay it’s fine just” and he clings to you really tightly and affectionately with his chin rested just above your boobs which is honestly cute and actually really weirdly hot “ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ʳᶦᵖ ᵐʸ ᵘⁿᵈᵉʳʷᵉᵃʳ”
he has the nerve to giggle to himself “heeheehee okay baby i will be extra careful”
~~~
basically you make a mental note to tell guk and guk only that you rode professor jung to the stars and back
boi DEFINITELY put biology skills to use like this man must have aced human anatomy and sex ed because mans knows all the parts to look after and touch and kiss and it’s like he digitally downloaded every sex move possible because…..no way in hell u just snagged the best sexual partner in town
“mm fuck i wish i was a biology major” it just sort of comes out, bearing in mind you are like half sober
hoseok kind of laughs from his position and moves his hands to your thighs, “yeah?”
“yes i’m so jealous seunghee gets to see you all the time and i only get to see you when i pick her up”
“you can come and see me whenever, baby”
scoff “i’m an art student wouldn’t it be weird to turn up at a biology lab to see you?”
“i have an office yknow and it’s only open to super important people and i can make you one of them”
you realise shortly after like your second orgasm that hoseok is really good at making mediocre things sound really sexy
at long last you actually look down at him and just grin really widely and at first he’s like “yeah? you like that?” and then you start giggling really weirdly
“best.” down. up. “wedding.” down. up. “ever.”
you consider the possibility that last night was a big fat wet dream for at least four seconds until you open your eyes, see the window, roll over, and see professor motherfucking jung in bed next to you
he hasn’t opened his eyes yet and you think he’s asleep so you roll back over to grab your phone conveniently placed on the bedside table
as it turns out, mr jeon jeongguk has not listened to you and posted every nanosecond of the party last night, as well as leaving you several text messages, as he would, as your bff
from guk: are u having fun? i hope ur having fun. if not, then have fun
from guk: i guess ur dead lmao
from guk: sikegjsfkasljf i madmeout with both seujgehe and jikmin
from guk: ignore the above message
from guk: also good morning did you have fun did u get LAID was it a girl or a guy i need all the juicy details
you have to conceal a groan because you don’t want to wake up hoseok
you haven’t thought of something to say yet because worst case scenario, he could wake up and be like “wtf i slept with YOU??????” and that would not be chill for a sunday morning
to guk: im devastated bc of ur snapchat story that’s real snake behaviour
from guk: omg grow up
from guk: and answer my question horre
to guk: i will talk to you later because i am not talking to u about it over the phone bc knowing you and your monster thumbs and chaotic energy, you’ll screenshot and tell everyone in the flat and im not ready for them to know yet
there’s a few moments of silence
from guk: oh fuck tell me ur not pregnant im not ready to be an aunt or uncle yet (x)
you’re about to reply when
oh
wait
did you use a condom last night
you’ve been off the pill for a couple months because even though not getting periods or pregnant was pretty cool, your skin really suffered and oh hey look at that you’ve put on like 4 pounds overnight
and you can’t really remember if hoseok wore a condom or not
did he?
he must have
like he’s a biology teacher
surely
yeah
to guk: wtf no
to guk: and how would i even know that it hasnt even been 24 hours yet this isnt breaking dawn im not gonna show after like 12 minutes
from guk: you never know
“all i can hear is your nails tapping the screen and it’s literally amongst one of the most annoying sounds to wake up to”
oof
you drop your phone flat on your face
hoseok sort of both reaches to see if you’re okay whilst also laughing
“i’m sorry i didn’t know they were that loud”
he smiles and strokes the side of your face “mm it’s okay. woke up next to a pretty girl so it’s not so bad”
and it’s official he owns your heart
neither of you actually really address the fact that your whole...THING is really taboo until he’s like fishing around for his left sock and you’re moping over your ripped dress
“so like does this mean i can’t come to pick up seunghee anymore because it’ll be weird?”
he pauses. “why would it be weird?”
“idk cause like. idk. you’re a teacher?”
“really? fuck, i had no idea!!!”
“i’m being serious. i don’t wanna be the reason you LOSE your job!! and i’m so bad at keeping secrets what if i tell someone worse what if i tell my MOM”
he’s moved towards you as you were talking and he’s looking at you really closely with a really pretty look in his eyes
“y/n, i’m a teacher and i’m a professional. i can contain my...whatever, emotions, while i’m at work. and yes, please, come by and get seunghee because she’s one of my favourites and i don’t think i’ll see you often because you’re in visual arts and im always in my lab but my office! yes i have an office that you can always stop by when you’re bored and if i’m free i will happily see you :( it’s unfortunate that you happen to be a student but technically….like you’re old enough and it’s not that weird?”
pause
“okay it’s a little weird but if you want it can be just one night. we can ignore it happened.”
you really don’t want to ignore it
like you really don’t want to at all
hoseok easily was the best sex you’ve ever had and ugh he’s so nice and pretty and warm and caring and smart and yeah he made a joke about cells during sex but it was perfectly timed and funny and ugh he’s the perfect guy
but he’s also a professor at your university and above all else, you really don’t want him to lose his job that he worked his ass of for just because you couldn’t control yourself
so you sort of suck in a frown very poorly and you both agree to kind of...let it be pushed under the rug
it was a one time….two-time thing
because he definitely fucked you into the mattress one last time before you walked out the door and acted like teacher and student again
“you look...disgusting, give me all the gossip!”
you’ve barely been in flat 18 for five seconds and jeongguk is already at the door with a glass of water and a bag of what you can only pray is cookies
(nice attempt: it’s actually tiny meringues which is good enough)
as usual jeongguk cradles a hangover right into monday morning and thankfully for you, haseul and himself, arts lectures and classes don’t usually start until the afternoon on mondays
even though haseul is 77% sure she wont turn up because she’s way too comfy in her pjs on the couch in the living room
and honestly the pressure of telling jeongguk about what the hell happened on saturday night is intense because….haseul is there too now
which isn’t ideal to be very very honest
and haseul is literally your Girlfriend like she would be there to wipe your arse if you asked her nicely
but she can also be a little bit judgy and you’re feeling particularly sensitive today
but you also can’t not tell her because she’s one of your best friends and you’re probably definitely going to tell hee and jimin when they’re back so. might as well do it fast
you trust flat 18 with your entire heart and you know they’d never tell anybody
((this is not foreshadowing they are little angels))
“holy fuck you’re literally covered in hickeys, this story is gonna be so good, let me get a cup of tea before you start holy shit-” and so haseul makes three cups of tea and sits back down like ten minutes later
“okay im ready literally LAY it on me im ready”
deep breath
sip of tea
setting the cup down
“so i went to my cousins party. pretty normal right, not expecting much to go down at all like it’s a family wedding and there’s kids around”
“yeah, right, okay, AND”
“and so i’m minding my own business by the snack table and then somebody comes up to me and YOU’LL NEVER EVER GUESS WHO IT WAS”
they both sit there like “how am i supposed to know?”
deep breath
“i turn around and it’s only PROFESSOR JUNG”
pause
“wait wtf why was he at your cousins wedding?” haseul is so lost
“HE did say he was going to a wedding last week,” jeongguk adds. “that’s so weird omg he literally called it wow haha he’s so cool”
“right right, but like how is that the tea,” haseul frowns. “that’s like...cold stale tea. i wanted scorching hot tea. there’s GOT to be more to it”
you sit there awkwardly and wait for them to figure it out because haseul is looking at you really intently trying to figure it out
jeongguk is looking back and forth between you and haseul
he knows she’ll figure it out before him because out of the three of you, haseul has the brain cells
haseul literally just stares at your face until she kinda looks down at your neck
and remembers the hickies
and then looks back up at your face
and then back down
and them back up
...
“oh my fucking god you DIDN’T”
“wait what what what WHAT HAPPENED”
“oh my fuckING GOD. OMG. OH MY GOD??????/ NO, NO.”
jeongguk is like O_O “what omg tell me”
you’re holding your face in your hands rn
haseul is up off her seat and pointing a finger at you with her mouth so wide
she looks kinda like the pikachu meme
0o0
“Y/N SLEPT WITH PROFESSOR JUNG”
jeongguk laughs
“....wait WHAT THE FUCK”
chaos ensues
“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SLEPT WITH PROFESSOR JUNG I LITERALLY CAN’T BREATHE”
“i didn’t say that!”
“what, so you DIDN’T sleep with professor jung?”
“...okay so maybe i did but you can’t tell ANYONE PLEASE”
jeongguk is literally laughing his ass off rn
because he’s your best friend and honestly that’s what best friends would do in this situation
haseul on the other hand is the responsible friend who’s thinking of the bigger picture
“holy shit, okay. um. wtf he could get sacked for this!”
“we talked it out and we promised to not tell anyone, and it’s not like we’re gonna hook up again so it’s fine!!!! which is why you both cant say anything PLS”
haseul moves to sit by you really comfortingly, “omg baby no i would never!!! it’s not my secret to tell and YES, i’m very surprised right now and i don’t really know what to do because what SHOULD i do??? this has never happened to me before omg this is insane. this is fuckING INSANE”
you end up having to explain the entire night in detail (missing a few details because let’s be real, you were hammered and dick drunk)
jeongguk has calmed down and now realises that this is sort of serious
mostly he’s just finding it funny that you actually ended up hooking up with professor jung, because you and him used to joke around about it all the time
even though he was initially quite childish about it, jeongguk knows that it’s serious and something that is clearly bothering you so he knows when to pack it in and be the supportive friend
because gukkie is a good friend and oh no we’re dropping all the uwus everywhere
“was it good?”
yes, haseul it was good
“was it SAFE?”
you’re about to answer jeongguk and then you pause
“....i don’t know”
and haseul’s off again
“holy mother of hell what do you MEAN you don’t know???”
“i can’t remember!!”
“and you didn’t ask the morning after???”
“im sorry he was too busy rearranging my GUTS it must have,,,crossed my mind”
now haseul has another thing to worry about on top of midterms
to flat 18: IAHUIIGJKSFDLIHGDJKSF Y/N SLEPT WITH PROFESSOR JUNG
from y/n: JEONGGUK WHAT THE FUCK
from y/n: WHY WOULD YOU TELL THEM OVER TEXT I WANTED TO TELL THEM IN PERSON
from guk: IM SORRY I THOGGHT WE WERE TELIJG THEM
from y/n: jesus christ
from jimin: um
from jimin: WHAT
from jimin: PLEATHE tell me its hot biology professor jung and not ugly middle aged literature professor jung because else my reaction is gonna be vERY different
from y/n: wtf why would i want to sleep with literature jung he’s like 50 and married
from guk: wait omg what if hot prof jung is married….did you ask
from y/n: let me move my bang and read that again,,,,
from jimin: i literally cant breathe MY LUNGSSSSS
from jimin: WHAT KINDA FANFICTION IS THIS RN how and when and why did u sleep with him i have SO MANY QUESTIONS i should be studying for my physics midterm rn but whatyueijgn this is too good
from y/n: this is why i wanted to tell u in person
from seunghee: WHATHGRJENS SJF WHAT THE FUCK
from seunghee: I JUST FUCKING SCREAMED IN MY BIOLOGY LECTURE AND HAD TO LEAVE
from seunghee: TELL ME UR JOKING RN
from y/n: :D heehee. um. haha. well haha. uh
from seunghee: I CANT LOOK AT PROF JUNG THE SAME WAY ANYMORE
from seunghee: omg….u had his PEEPEE inside of u….holy shit i need to sit down rn
from haseul: mood
from guk: she did THAT :’)
from seunghee: i mean…..when we joked around and said you should hop on professor jung’s dick i didnt think you’d DO IT FOR REAL
from y/n: it was the dr pepper u guys…..he made me do it
from seunghee: oh god professor jung came out to see if i was okay and i screamed i cant look at him i cant
from seunghee: omg he was in ur GUTS i cant im dropping biology
you dont immediately see professor jung
in fact you try and avoid him because even though you both agreed to not hook up again you’re afraid that the demon inside you will try and jump him and knowing you, a professor will probably end up catching you
and you like uni you dont wanna leave
and you like hoseok you don’t want him to leave and lose his job
flat 18 have calmed down from the initial shock and humour of the situation
i mean they’re all still in disbelief that it happened
and jeongguk and jimin make jokes about it sometimes
but it’s calmed down
it’s actually like a full week before you see him
because all of flat 18 for some reason offered to help on the open day for uni, party night saturday had to be cancelled >:(
seunghee shudders at the thought of being one of the only biology volunteers and having to pretend like she doesn’t know that her professor was balls deep inside her best friend last weekend
jimin and seunghee are together in the science department and haseul is happy performing for families checking out the performance department
jeongguk was asked to help promote the art department
and you were forced into giving campus tours :(
which sucks
because you have to try and pump out your best energy for the day
due to the amount of students doing tours on the same day, you’re only really expected to give one tour before going to your selected department
and you wouldn’t actually mind giving tours if it didn’t mean that you had to go everywhere on campus and by everywhere you mean having to go to the science department and inevitably seeing the brief love of your life
“..and right here is the art department! as an art student i sure have a lot to say about it- everyone is super duper nice and all-well, MOST of the professors are really helpful and critical and i’ve really improved drawing since i’ve been here. we do a lot of still life in this room but next door is the main drawing room and just off campus, we have the drawing labs!!! and oh, downstairs is the photography department; we have a red room and three studios and next door is the cinema”
“do you get to watch films?”
“technically no but when nobody is looking we do watch a film heeheehee i mean. what? no we would never break the rules..,,.”
you give jeongguk a cheeky bum shake before you leave and he laughs
yes an old man sees and scowls but it’s ok
“so yea like i said, the staff are friendly and mostly helpful. i mean, there are obviously some professors who aren’t amazing but hey we have a higher rating than other unis in this area so haha”
“mostly helpful?” a mom says. “can you elaborate on that?”
“not really, karen.”
after hurling your group around everywhere, you FINALLY make it to the science department
which you came to last because you were not prepared to see You Know Who
anyway
you step inside and start listing off things in the department
like Oh yes jackie look that’s called a bunsen burner
Oh michael sweetie don’t touch the gas taps we don’t wanna die now do we?
“our uni has some of the best science professors,” you explain. “they’re incredible and so dedicated to their profession and it’s really a great environment- two of my flatmates study science and they love their classes and lectures. professor min teaches physics and my friend jimin says he teaches it like no other- he’s amazing!”
“and what about professor jung?”
what
“ᵉˣᶜᵘˢᵉ ᵐᵉ?”
“what do you think of professor jung, hm?” WHY IS THE HM SOUNDING A LITTLE CONFRONTATIONAL
you stare at this mom like OoO because this is weird there’s no way she kNOWS how does this mom know omg did you say something dumb how does she--
“i heard he wrote books and went on tv! he also attended conferences at oxford uni,” the mom says, almost annoyed and your heart goes WOOOOOSH out your body. “my son wants to study biology and so we’re excited to see and hear about professor jung.”
“oH yes RIGHT well he’s...well he’s great.”
“can you elaborate-”
“no susan i can’t. let’s just go and meet him, yeah?”
inside the science rooms open for showing, you’re oddly relieved to see another tour group just finishing up meaning that half of the professors are preoccupied already
that includes hoseok in his cute ass lab coat talking to a group of students and parents
suddenly that female student is standing very close to him and you have to look away before you get annoyed for literally no reason
y/n: 1 life: 1
seunghee is actually free talking to jimin and professor min (jimins weirdly hot professor) sees you standing awkwardly in the doorway and he comes to the rescue with a small smile and nods his head at you
wow jimin never told you how pretty he was
scary as fuck
but pretty
“hi! welcome to the science department…”
you kind of step to the side because science is not your subject this is not your element and you dont wanna mess up
while seunghee is so happy showing off her booth and YES the volcano made an appearance, jimin is content with not doing his job and coming to stand with you
“is it just me or is prof jung looking delicious today?” jimin sort of nudges you in the side and you have to give him a sickeningly sweet smile that translates to You’re Getting Your Ass BEAT Later
“...and we do all sorts of projects to help us constantly develop our skills!!! and it’s actually a really good way at making friends and bonds-” a few parents laugh “-and actually, two of my flatmates are here over there--”
oh great eyes are on you and jimin :)
jimin smiles like :) hell yes :) thats me :)
and you’re flushing as fuck because 1) you don’t really do well with being the center of attention like having to speak and tour people around campus is BAD ENOUGh and 2) hoseok has just been made aware of your presence
you’re trying not to look at him like :) i’m not here :)
“-they helped me make this volcano!!!! and it’s so cute!!! look- it shoots rocks- oh, careful sweetie- look!!! it’s so cool y/n helped me a lot and i got a good grade and we do loads of this sort of stuff, haha, prof jung really works us to the bone but makes it super fun at the same time!!!”
braving a chance to look at him you clam up noticing that he’s already looking at you
he does that THING where he smiles and his eyes look really soft and warm and he ducks his head to look at the other parents and stuff
jimin contains a snort and seunghee is like o_o because she had to witness that LOOK as if she wasn’t trying hard enough to forget about what happened
professor min looks between you and hoseok like “-_-” and you wanna DIE
ALRIGHT MICHAEL PUT ON THE GAS TAPS BACK ON LET’S FUCKING DIE TONIGHT
hoseok manages to talk to you before you leave though which is smooth and you can feel your heart in your vagina literally pulsing as he approaches you and jimin
“having fun?”
you smile like :) how is giving tours :) fun :)
“i guess so!!”
“hey thats good!” he replies enthusiastically. “looks like people like the volcano you helped make.”
“....i didn’t make that. seunghee lied i did not help her on her graded project We did not help I don’t know why she would say that”
and he kind of laughs and forgets where he is and his hand touches your back
jimin chokes
you sort of look at him like OoO BRO
he pulls away so FAST like you’re on fire or something
“it’s okay. it’s a pretty volcano.” clears throat. “a-anyways. have a nice day guys.”
he looks like he wants to say something more but cant really afford to, so he sulks away and talks to more parents
“omg….he just had sex with you again” jimin said quietly. “omg. that was wild”
“he literally touched me what are you TALKING ABOUT”
“can’t believe you just did that….right in front of me….”
“literally SHUT UP RIGHT NOW OMG”
again you don’t see prof jung often
you see him a couple of times when you wait for seunghee
its been a hot minute, like a few weeks
he doesn’t speak much but when he does it’s like “oh hi y/n! waiting for seunghee?” or “you can come in for a bit while seunghee packs up” or “plans for the weekend?”
once you dumbly said “i miss you” before you left and both prof jung and seunghee are like “oh hoe you didnt”
“huh?” he asks.
“I said i’ll see you,” you say. “like...i don’t know. see you soon? i guess”
he knows what you really said
he raises his brow’s and laughs and’s like, “me too, y/n. i’ll see you both soon. enjoy your weekend!”
“you’re literally so dumb,” seunghee says whilst walking back to the dorm, “like really so fucking dumb. i MISS YOU??? REALLY? THAT’S ALL YOU SAID??? I’M LIVING OFF CRUMBS HERE”
“wtf do you MEAN???”
“yknow he always asks me, “how are your friends? y/n, the others?” like why would he ask about you...unless he missed you too….and wanted to see you…..omg you’re both really so dumb”
you think about that for a while
back at flat 18, everybody is out of classes for the weekend; jimin is finishing up an essay so he won’t have to do it last minute monday morning, haseul is watching vines on her phone and guk is currently eating the peaches that you were craving and wanted to eat so bought and stored away for later
later as in now
he offers you one but afterwards you feel like…?? weirdly nauseous
“do you need some water?” guk is on alert rn “i swear i didn’t poison you or anything!!!!!”
“i...literally didn’t even think you had but now that you’ve brought it up…”
like this sickness is so sudden you just wanna throw up all your internal organs
“you should go to bed,” haseul says and she’s like rushing to you to push you towards your room. “i will get a hot water bottle ready and blankets and oh- actually no, you can’t risk eating in-case it makes you feel worse. at least try and eat like these bland ass biscuits seunghee brought because then you’ll throw up something instead of nothing. are you okay, did i ask if you were okay? are you?”
the best thing about flat 18 is that they’re like a little tight family and if one of you is sick, they become worried parents and it’s so cute
anyway so you stay in bed for the rest of the day
and most of saturday morning
flat 18 are debating whether or not to really go out on saturday but you groggily tell them to just go and have fun and you’ll stay at home :( crying :( watching peaky blinders on netflix :(
haseul and seunghee decide to stay in with you for a girls night while jeongguk and jimin head to their friend taehyung’s dorm
at some point during a very intense sex scene between tommy shelby and some random woman you don’t care about currently, you feel a very intense wave of sickness
OFF TO THE BATHROOM YOU GO!!
as you’re throwing up you’re thinking over every possible reason for being sick
food poisoning?
flu?
and then you pause mid heave
could…..could you be pregnant?
omg no
wait omg yes you totally could be
you panic so much that you throw up again
seunghee and haseul are right outside the door asking if you need anything and haseul comes in to hold your hair and seunghee is rubbing your thigh like “honey please what do you need?”
sheepishly you look at her and squeak out, “i don’t think im sick.”
seunghee’s like “well obviously you are you’re throwing up like crazy right now, oh, yeah, okay baby yeah let it out let it all out”
makes mental note to buy air-freshener
after throwing up you just hAVE to ask
“hee...i need you to go out and get me something”
“sure honey, anything. what do you need?”
“......i need you to get me a pregnancy test.”
haseul and seunghee share a look
“are you serious?” seunghee’s voice is really gentle and quiet
“yes i need to be sure,” your voice is croaky and you keep crying in between each word and seunghee just squeezes your thigh assuringly and nods
“y-yeah, of course, wow, oh my god, okay. i’ll go and get one- no, wait, haseul should i get three? is three the safe number?”
“yeah. three is safe. like, you do an experiment three times to get a fair result and the test could read wrong”
“please stop talking about science im actually really scared right now”
seunghee is already half out the flat with her keys when she says, “do you want me to call guk and jimin?”
and you debate it but knowing guk he’d have a meltdown and tell taehyung what’s going on and it’s supposed to be a private sort of thing
and what gives you might not Actually be pregnant
“have you missed your period?” haseul asks
“yeah but i thought” sniff “it was just late :( my periods are always irregular but if i did the math” hiccup “right then it should have come four days ago :(”
seunghee comes back with three pregnancy tests
(“the cashier said, ‘oh, good luck dear! you look like you’ll be a wonderful mother!’ like HONEY IM NOT LOOKING FOR KIDS I’M TOO YOUNG” “s-seunghee-eeEEEeee im also too young what am i gonna doOOooOoooo i cant do this”)
they both promise to be in there with you while you find out because you’re literally sobbing and shaking and lets be real, they’ve showered with you like ten times and they’ve seen all your bits and pieces and it’s just pee! everybody pees
you’re sitting down in a ball shape by the bathtub like TERRIFIED of looking at the little stick
“is it...professor jung’s?” seunghee asks quietly
“he’s the only person i’ve slept with in like three years, i’m positive it’s his,” you reply. “if im even pregnant, that is…”
haseul rubs your arm lovingly. “want to take a look? should be done by now.”
it takes you a few minutes and then eventually you nod
well
here goes nothing!!!!!
you peer over at the stick and like
your heart drops
maybe you wanna throw up again
all three sticks say: PREGNANT: 5 WEEKS
“what’s it say?” haseul asks gently and you set down one of the tests and look back at seunghee and haseul with an unreadable expression
“congrats. you’re gonna be an auntie.”
haseul is the first to crack
it felt weird to have friends excited?? about your second year of uni pregnancy? unplanned accidental pregnancy with a bIOLOGY PROFESSOR AT UR UNI????
but haseul brings you in for a hug with an excited laugh and seunghee braves taking a stick in her hand and looks at it for herself
yep, you’re having a baby all right!!!
everything is fine until you realise the big problem
how the hell are you going to tell hoseok you’re carrying his baby
does he want kids? probs not! and you never asked if he was married?? WHAT IF HE ALREADY HAS KIDS? WHAT IF HE HAS A WHOLE FAMILY??????
then you start crying
“omg, y/n, please don’t cry, it’s okay, we’re going to figure something out!”
“you don’t necessarily have to keep it if you dont want to,” haseul points out, even though you know she’s already planning dates to look after baby y/n when it’s been pushed out into the world
“h-how am i gonna tell h-hoseok that im having his baby….and i dont wanna get r-rid of it i dont wanna hurt this baby i love this baby i only just f-found out about it but i want this baby i wanna look after this baby this is my BABY?? im having a baby holy fuck you guys! im gonna be a mom this is so scary what the fuck am i gonna do????”
seunghee makes a call to jeongguk and jimin asking them to come back with ice-cream because they have things to talk about
jeongguk is worried like “oh god did i leave my underwear on the couch again? i said i was sorry and i thought id moved them this time”
and seunghee says, “um...no but now im going to double check the couch...dont forget the ice-cream BYEEEE”
needless to say that they’ve very VERY surprised to come home and discover that they’re gonna be uncles
and that the baby belongs to the Daddy of Biology
“i………..what did i miss while i was gone wtf you’re PREGNANT?”
“omg i’m gonna be an uncle??????? really?????? reAlly!!!”
of course the big issue right now is telling hoseok about it
like what are you supposed to do? go up to him and be like Hey hot stuff you’re gonna be a dad!! Happy Monday!!
“if he doesn’t want to help look after it, i would be happy being the adoptive dad of your baby,” jimin offers, staring at your stomach for the fifth straight hour. “because i love you and i also like babies.”
“aw, min, i love you too, but if hoseok doesn’t want to be the dad to this baby, i was already planning to ask guk because GOD KNOWS you would be the worst at looking after kids- dont look at me like that, i know you i CAN SEE THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU ARE!”
you decide to skip classes on monday and only head out when you need to
and by “need to” i mean you decided that today would be the day you told hoseok
you had the whole of sunday to think over it and seunghee helped you devise a plan
hoseok has office hours from around 3pm to 9pm on mondays and her class finishes at 2:45pm, and apparently people use his monday office hours on the evening so “you should probably come then, and you and him can talk in his office where it’s more private!”
and thank god seunghee has the brain cells in this friendship because you were about to announce it in the open and you doubt that mr min would be thrilled to hear his colleague knocked up a visual arts second year student
it’s 2:30pm and you leave the flat to make it to campus for around 2:37pm
it doesn’t take long at all to walk across campus to the science department and so you’re a little bit early to seunghee’s class because they’re still clearing up by the time you get there
the science department has chosen to smell like a hospital even more today and you shudder, already mulling over the idea that you could be going to a hospital soon to get baby scans and then eventually labour and holy fucking SHIT you’re gonna have to push this thing out of your vagi-
the class leaves at 2:45 on the dot (because hoseok likes to let his kids out early because he’s a cool teacher and apparently nothing like the grouchy art teachers in your department) and actually, today seunghee hasn’t turned up to class so you’re sort of waiting for nobody rn
just >:) as >:) planned
when everybody else has gone you head inside really quietly
hoseok hears you anyway and looks over really quickly and smiles so wide like :D
“y/n! how are you!”
“haha yeah im just great professor like really Uh yeah doing great”
“seunghee’s actually not here today. i thought you guys lived together, didn’t you know that?”
and you’re like like “uh yeah i knew. i’m, well, i’m actually not here for her. i’m here for you.”
hoseok is vERY VERY CONFUSED
“is everything ok?”
you smile at him as a way of reassuring him
on the inside you’re like oh hoseok sweetie you have no idea what’s coming
“yeah. i asked seunghee what time your office hours were and she said from around 3 to 9? and obviously, its like five to three and so i am early but. look i just- i really need to speak with you.”
he stands up quickly. “is something wrong?”
“i’m not sure yet,” you reply honestly. “shall we. um. can we go to your office?”
he blinks. “oh! yeah, sure, let me get- my coat and yeah let’s go. i’ll lead the way.”
along the way you just so happen to bump into professor min and he smiles at hoseok and then at you and he’s like “oh? miss l/n, what are you doing here? i didn’t know you took science?” (he only knows who you are because of the open day)
“Oh, no i don’t. um. well,” you pause. cause what are you supposed to say???? “i’m just getting some work for seunghee. she’s...sick and bedridden, so, here i am!”
professor min is just like “huh. okay well have fun i’m going to take a nap in my office :D” and leaves
hoseok’s office is surprisingly clean and cute and there’s flowers everywhere and a cute little yellow rug and you stop to just take in how this room is hoseok in Room Form
like a room has never looked so much like a person it’s him as a room and you love it
“i didn’t really clean up because i didn’t expect anybody- especially you- to be coming. uh, here, let me just close the door. want to sit?”
you take up the offer and sit on the couch opposite his desk and he sits on the desk looking at you really worriedly. “is...everything okay?”
he wants to ask if somebody found out, but at the same time, he really doesn’t want to make you think that he was like repulsed by having sex with you because it was The best sex of his life and he’s not afraid to admit that
“yes. i just” sigh. might as well get on with it. “how long has it been since the wedding?”
hoseok pauses. thinks. “well...i mean, like, probably six weeks? yeah, six weeks. why?”
“okay, and usually, what does it mean when a woman misses her period?”
“wha- well, sometimes it could be an irregular cycle. but it’s usually because they’re conceiving...”
hoseok really doesn’t wanna overthink but...like….he’s overthinking rn
“and how long does it take for them to start showing?”
“well someone can know that they’re pregnant as early as four weeks, usually. although 50% of women say they show at five, and 70% said they show symptoms at six weeks-”
there’s a beat of silence
you worriedly look at hoseok and he’s just. quiet
you can see the clogs moving in his head and his eyes are flitting up from your stomach to your face repeatedly and wow he’s gone a bit pale?
“i...what?”
“i’m...i’m pregnant.”
“i…” he starts to speak but literally stops and he’s just really quiet
you can feel your eyes filling up because oh god he doesn’t want the baby you’ve ruined his LIFE
but really he’s just thinking really hard rn
like
omg
a beautiful girl he likes is carrying HIS BABY
A BABY HE HELPED MAKE
and then he’s like but shes a student at my uni is this weird? its weird its wrong but i love babies and ‘im gonna be a dad????? and she’s really pretty????? and i like her?????? and that’s my kid??????????
you’re seriously about to cry and be like its ok if you don’t want it i can look after it alone and my flat are okay with it i just would want some help like maybe a little bit just for the first few months when he moves from the desk towards you and drops to his knees between your legs
“is- is it mine?”
“what- of course it’s yours!”
“i’m sorry! i didn’t want to assume!!!”
“i wouldnt be here if it wasn’t yours!”
he huffs out a laugh and then just starts smiling so wide
“omg are you actually pregnant? really?”
and then you start laughing like “YES omg why would i lie here’s a test for proof i was crying a lot over the weekend.”
now that he has concrete evidence hoseok is getting a bit excited about this
above all circumstances he is gonna be a dad and wow he’s always wanted a family!!
you’re so relieved that he’s happy :)
but then he has to think realistically about this: you’re still a student, probably barely twenty one, and he’s a professor and things will be extremely complicated
he debates whether or not to tell professor min
because yoongi has been his friend forever and he actually helped him get the job at this uni and he probably wouldn’t judge him for it because he had seemed excited when hoseok told him about the wedding night (obviously spared of the details that the best Pussy of his life was miss y/n l/n)
“do...do you want to keep it?”
you look at him like OnO “yes :( is that okay”
“YES omg it’s okay!!! that’s our BABY!!!”
ok he’s so excited
“this is so weird and i never ever thought this would happen but!!!!!! i’m gonna be a dad???”
“yes!!!”
then
“wait fuck are you married or anything?” you have to ask it’s been bugging you all weekend. “because i’m happy with raising a baby with you but i don’t think i can handle telling ur wife or whatever that we had sex at a wedding.”
he finds this really funny
“no, i’m not married. i was drunk at the wedding but not drunk enough to cheat on someone :( i would never do that :(”
well.
THAT COVERS IT THEN
now he has to make plans to like. get to know you because there’s no way in hell his baby is gonna grow up with complicated parents like he wants his kid to have the best life ever :(
hoseok now also has to come to terms with the fact that seunghee knows he had sex with her best friend and is having a baby with her and now he’s horrified
“you did wHAT”
hoseok decided against his better judgement to tell yoongi about what’s going on
since you told your entire flat about it he figured it was only fair that he could also tell somebody he trusted
he has a couple of friends outside the department who he really trusts, like namjoon and seokjin, two married professors who teach literature and creative writing, and sociology, respectively, who will eventually find out, whenever he’s figured out what he’s going to do
considering everything, yoongi isn’t that put off by the fact that he knocked up a student
i mean, yes he’s shocked that it was you of all students ever and then he pieces together you going into his office and the way he had literally described you as “artistic and fascinating” and fucking hell he should have realised sooner
“i...kind of got her pregnant. which- before you yell at me, isn’t the end of the world because we’re both willing to give it 110%!”
“yeah i dont give a fuck about that- i’m still on about the fact that you came back here after that wedding and told me all the raunchy details about you and y/n and i called it hOT and now i find out its a student i KNOW?????? oh my god i need to lie down again.”
(he takes it well, and congratulates him)
meanwhile you’re already making plans to tell your family about it but you want to do it after the first scan
seunghee has done so much research on pregnancy that she was worried the school would catch on by reading the wifi bill and seeing that all she ever googles is “how big is a baby at six weeks?” or “when should i go for a baby scan?”
she seems to think that twelve to fourteen weeks is a good time to get the baby scan and that you’ll probably start showing by then which is the PERF time to tell everybody about it
at the moment you’re not too worried about telling your family
your mom is pretty understanding and your dad has been out of the picture for a while now, and you’re the baby sibling so at least she still has an older daughter to brag about
because from now on it’s gonna be “yeah this is my eldest she’s a LAWYER and this is my youngest haha she fucked her biology professor”
not that she’d use those words
you’re actually more afraid of what people at uni are gonna think when you start showing because you’re not really up for missing out a whole 9 months just to be a year behind your friends
and morning sickness was so awful this morning that you just couldn’t be bothered to go in for class today
thankfully it was just a free sort of day where kids either did the art marathon or worked for their midterms so you could sort of afford to miss a day
guk went to class for an hour before coming back to the flat and haseul didn’t have classes that day so once again, art attack squad just had a nice day at home
haseul is most concerned about the baby and the baby’s health and so went through a crazy moment of trying to eliminate foods that are bad for you during pregnancy
“where’s all my chocolate gone?” “well i moved it so that you can limit yourself on what you eat! chocolate isn’t great for your skin and you should probably start eating healthy if you want the little honey to be nice and healthy when they arrive!”
haseul has money on it being a little girl
guk and seunghee want it to be a boy and jimin is the type of person to have no opinion until the baby is born and then proceeds to say, “see! i told you it would be a boy/girl!”
since you last saw hoseok, he hasn’t really decided what he’d like them to come out as yet; yoongi wants it to be a girl, though
seunghee actually went to class and ended up waiting behind afterwards to give him all the updates
“is she doing okay?” “yES she’s amazing and the baby is doing so well too!!! i mean it’s only been about seven weeks and so y/n is like barely showing, but he’s about the size of a blueberry! isn’t that cute?”
then she pauses and is like, “wait...we live off campus so like. do you want to maybe come round? and see her? i think she’d appreciate seeing you.”
“ᶜᵃⁿ ᶦ?” hoseok is really excited because yeah he does like you and he’d see you whenever he could but 1) he didn’t know how to contact you and 2) where do you even live because if its on campus he definitely can’t pop round and be like “wassup where’s my baby mama”
anyway he comes round with her and you’re very unprepared to see hoseok and seunghee step through the front door
jeongguk is like midway through kissing your tummy over and over and haseul is on amazon looking at baby clothes because she “has to be ready for any opportunity”
of course anything can happen and she’s praying that nothing bad happens because she just found the cutest bear onesie ever and OOPS its in her cart
“it’s,” gesturing to guk and his lips on your stomach, eyes wide, “not what it looks like!”
but hoseok just laughs and puts down his bag and is like, “hehe i know. how are you!”
guk clears out to another part of the couch and decides that he has to, before he dies, see a y/n and hoseok interaction and he can hardly contain his excitement when hoseok sits down next to you and looks at you with a fond ass expression
“good! i had a little bit of morning sickness, but i’m okay. how are you?”
and hoseok’s like well i’m not currently carrying a baby im fine of course i’m fine i want to know about you
because it came to his attention when he was with yoongi earlier that he really doesn’t know anything about you PERIODT
and he wants to know everything and anything
at that point guk takes his leave and he, haseul and seunghee go to the kitchen to give you and hoseok some of your own private space
“i cant believe professor jung is in my living room right now...”
“I WALKED ACROSS CAMPUS WITH HIM GUK I WAS FREAKING OUT THE ENTIRE TIME!!!”
meanwhile you and hoseok are taking the moment to get to know each other
because in about 9 months time or whatever you’re gonna be parents
so you gotta know everything
hoseok learns a lot of things about you: your love for chocolate, that strawberry milk is your favourite flavour, your favourite colours are natural colours like white and beige and browns, your favourite movie or your favourite song…….
and you learn quite a few things about him in return: growing up he always loved science, he wanted to go into dance during high school but it clashed with science club so he gave it up, his favourite flavour milk is banana and his favourite colour is yellow…...
“mm i knew the yellow already :)”
“oh yeah?” hoseok has an arm around your shoulders, one hand stroking the side of your face and the other brushing against your stomach. “how?”
“the rug in your office. and the fact you like banana milk,” you laugh.
“what? the banana milk has nothing to do with it.”
“it does, don’t lie.”
“okay, but it’s not the main reason!!!”
once again it begins to feel like you’ve known hoseok for years and wow it’s so easy to talk to him and he’s so gentle and nice You’re ready to donate your whole heart to him on the spot
“so i was thinking actually,” you propose suddenly, and at this point the gang have come out of the kitchen and are gathered in the living room (jeongguk said that he’s technically in-laws with hoseok now and so there’s no point avoiding it) “that we should go out together this weekend.”
hoseok grins: “are you asking me out on a date right now?”
“yes,” you nod with a firm look. “yes, i am. i am taking authoritative because you’re slow and i want to go on a date with you. i wanna get to know you and work on this.”
hoseok agrees and presses a warm kiss to your temple. “mm, okay then, honey. it’s a date.”
(jimin gets home late and kicks off his shoes by the door. “GUYS!!! YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHO LOOKED MIGHTY FINE THIS MORNING!! If you guessed Professor Min, then you were RIGHT!! At this rate, Y/N won’t be the only person knocked up by a science professor cause I’m telling you, I’m ready for Professor Min to tell me the exact speed of light whilst balls deep in my a- OH. Uh. Hi, Professor Jung. Nice day?”)
((nobody knows how to move on from that.))
it’s been exactly 9 weeks since your little honey has been conceived :D
hoseok comes to visit more frequently and he now has your number and emergency contact details so whenever he can, he’s asking how you and the baby are and stuff
he texts asking about your day a lot
mostly about the baby though
from hoseok: what are naming it ^_^
to hoseok: hmm i believe we haven’t gone over the names yet :)
from hoseok: i meant like a nickname!!
from hoseok: yoongi has been calling them “squid” because when we became friends we bonded over someone calling a sperm cell a squid cell and i guess it kind of stuck
to hoseok: omg i dont wanna call them squid then :-(
from hoseok: hmm how about simply ‘baby’?
but i want u to call me baby…
from hoseok: but i wanna call YOU baby and it might get confusing...little one? little guy?
to hoseok: haseul thinks its a girl teeheehee
from hoseok: so i’ve been told
from hoseok: okay, how about honey? i know i call you honey sometimes but honey can be exclusively our baby name
to hoseok: hmm
to hoseok: honey is cute :3
from hoseok: haha okay baby, honey it is then!
you’re waiting until week 14 for an ultrasound
seunghee did more research and said 14 is a lucky number and so it just seemed right
and also most women go around 14 weeks and later because by then the gender will be revealed and that’s exciting!!
THANKFULLY you weren’t planning to visit family for christmas because they’re abroad visiting family and so at least you can surprise them when they’re back with a baby scan and hoseok :D
“did you also know that the baby is now the size of a cherry?” guk said suddenly one evening, as he lay next to you in his bed, by the way, WHY you were in his bed when he woke up he has no idea. “that’s so cute. little cherry all snug in there, huh.”
you find that jeongguk is now...abnormally nice
like you loved that you and jeongguk could be brutal to each other and still be fine in the next three minutes
but ever since you found out you were pregnant, he’s been toning it down a lot
truthfully he doesn’t want to overdo it and add any stress on you during the pregnancy, and he just wants to be supportive and be ‘the best uncle in the business’, to which jimin competes
haseul and seunghee are the ideal best friends in this situation: haseul is so ready to be an aunt it’s crazy and she already has an amazon cart full of cute things and seunghee already claimed dibs on helping you and hoseok set up a nursery for the baby
it’s still being decided but there’s a big chance you and hoseok will move in together to raise baby honey together
the house you were eyeing is relatively close to campus and to flat 18, which they’re planning to rent out for the next two years of uni after this one
so it’s close to honey’s aunts and uncles and also close for hoseok to get to work and for you to get to classes
jimin is the friend who still doesn’t really know what to do in this situation
he replaced jeongguk as the annoying younger brother type, even though he’s a few months older than both you and jeongguk, he’s such a brat lmao
10 weeks
“i’m convinced that my boobs have got bigger- haven’t they gotten bigger?”
so it is one of those days where hoseok is free to come and visit you at the Holy flat 18
it’s become his second home because he comes by so often
seunghee isn’t so weirded out by her professor being basically one of her friends, and in-fact she tries to abuse this by trying to get him to give her “in-law special treatment”
(“i gave you special treatment on your ugly volcano!” “OI the mother of your child helped make that volcano!!!”)
he really doesn’t give any bias tho he basically passes everybody
“i mean,” hoseok begins, and you move between his legs for him to get a good angle. considering you two haven’t been ‘together’ long, you’re incredibly comfortable around him. “yeah, actually. wow, they have!”
“rIGHT? none of my bras fit me anymore. oh god, i’m gonna have to start buying granny bras- do you think they’ll get that big?”
“it’s possible. all women increase in size during pregnancy. actually, some can lose weight instead of putting it on.”
“not me.”
“no, but you look healthy and gorgeous and i like it.”
you giggle- the same giggle he remembers you doing on the Big Night- and shuffle into some bigger trousers that you and haseul went to buy a few days ago
clothes just aren’t fitting anymore and so while you’re upgrading to trendy maternity-style clothes haseul and seunghee are super excited to go to town with outfits they can make from your wardrobe
“well, good! because you’re stuck with me for the next….like, nine months.”
“technically, it’s seven months now.”
you glare
“but i’m gonna still be here after those seven months!!!”
“good!!! you better be,” you shuffle over to sit next to him with your legs around him- one behind and one over his lap and he smiles down at you, “because i’m growing fond of you.”
“well that’s convenient, because i’m rather fond of you, too.”
outside the door, jimin starts laughing “wtf it’s 2018 who says fond anymore?”
12 weeks :)
this morning you realise
wow
i’m actually pregnant pregnant
you’re starting to show now and honestly...looking at it, you realise how creepy baby bumps are
“oh my GOD, seunghee come look at it now it’s gotten really big!”
it’s not even that big
but it’s bigger
seunghee is so excited about this fact
the flat have been taking pictures of the bump every week and printing it so they can keep a timeline for when honey is born
jeongguk and seunghee are still dead set on honey being a little baby boy but haseul is trying to convince them otherwise
“we’re calling her honey for now, right? so, what i have planned, is, we buy her a bee onesie. representing both bees AND the bee movie. worlds best dressed baby.”
you started to develop a fear of going to class because you’re unsure on how people will take the news that you’re pregnant
you’re not that much of a popular person but everybody in the class knows you well enough to know that you’re not the type to sleep around
so it would be a valid shock to hear that you’re pregnant
but you have to go because you can’t afford to miss anymore classes
and you also have to….break the news to your professors because at some point you’re going to have to have a lot of time off to pop out a human being
“he’s the size of a plum by now, isn’t he?”
jeongguk is particularly excited about honey this morning and he has literally not shut up about them since you got into class
“yes, THEY are about the size of a plum- did seunghee tell you that?”
“omg no im a good best friend and i did all my research!! it’s so cute that they compare honey to fruits online- next week he’s gonna be as big as a lemon!”
class is….just your luck, pretty busy today
most students are in the drawing rooms and a few are drawing a still life model
jeongguk gets right to work finishing his final project while you head to the office to speak to your professor, who is really lazy and sits in his office all day and doesn’t even supervise
professor choi, the lovely lady who ends up running all classes, is the dearest angel and you’re ready to chat to her next
professor bowen, your grouchy art professor, is literally so :| when you break the news
like he could not give two shits
he puts down his coffee and is like “oh. well, i couldn’t tell. congratulations, talk to the dean about your maternity dates. and shut the damn door behind you.”
like
damn sir okay
professor choi <3 is so <3 excited <3
she immediately goes to touch your stomach and then quickly stops herself like “oops, silly me! i remember when i had my first child i was so picky with who could touch my belly!! heeheehee how many weeks are you darling!!”
she’s already getting so excited and inviting herself to the birth
like please professor choi
we love you but please don’t turn up for the birth
PLEATHE
she keeps making invitations to bring the baby to classes when they’re born because “obviously im amazing with babies and ooh i just can’t wait to see them! jeongguk- don’t tell me you stepped up and did this all by yourself?”
jeongguk nearly throws up
“EWWWWWWW wtf i mean y/n babe i love you but EWWHJFHJKS why would i want to be with y/n she’s like my annoying sister! no the daddy is ho-”
and you’re like BITCH STOP!!!
“....honestly the best man on planet earth? you definitely don’t know him at all.”
14 weeks :)
“okay, miss l/n. it’s going to feel a little bit cold, but we’re going to put some ultrasound gel on your stomach now, is that okay?”
it’s the day of the ultrasound!!!
for you and hoseok this is the Big moment next to birth because it’s almost like final confirmation that there’s a baby in there
at this point you’re starting to show a lot
it’s big enough for you and flat 18 to know there’s a difference
but tbh if people didn’t know you they might just think you’ve got a few pounds on you and nobody cares at all at uni like literally nobody gives a fuck about what anybody else looks like
hoseok got permission of the dean to get the day off (he told them that his girlfriend was going for an ultrasound and so he just had to be there, and the dean, not knowing any better, was all smiles and said, “of course, professor jung! congratulations! i didn’t know you were expecting, or even dating!”)
because the best thing about being jung hoseok is the fact that he’s well known and it gets him out of trouble sometimes
thankfully the dean is old and dumb and didn’t clock on to the fact that you paid her a visit like a few weeks prior asking about maternity dates :)
PHEW!!!
jung hoseok’s job: saved
hoseok is holding your hand reassuringly and is sitting to your left, the other hand on your ankle and his leg is going cRAZY it’s just bobbing like heck next to the bed
a part of him is still really sort of insecure because even though the sonographer and nurse present don’t know that hoseok is a professor at your uni, he still feels really weird knowing who he is and how you could do better and could be doing better and more if it weren’t for stupid him not putting on a condom
he is so excited to have this baby but he thinks about that a lot, about how he’s basically ruined your life by putting a baby inside of you
you look incredibly excited though, lying on the bed with your eyes really wide and expectant because omg this is your baby!!!!
now that you’re here there’s some finality
ever since you found out you were pregnant there had been so many doubts but now that you’re here, with hoseok, about to see honey for the first time…
alexa play Despacito cause this is epic
“okay. let’s see what your baby is getting up to in there!”
this sonographer is really enthusiastic apparently
“alrighty. so, as you can see...oh! always a good sign- we have a confirmed heartbeat. usually that puts parents at ease, knowing their baby is all okay and healthy in there!”
and then she starts listing off various body parts but in all honesty you cant see a thing
hoseok is very interested in the screen and his smile gets wider at every body part she lists off
you really should be invested in the baby inside of you but when he smiles like that :( you just wanna grab him and kiss him really deeply
“everything seems to be perfectly fine with your baby, miss l/n. a very beautiful baby. they’re about the size of a peach right now, isn’t that just incredible?”
hoseok’s grinning like it’s his default facial expression
he squeezes your hand really tight and kisses it three times
“that’s our baby,” you say, still in motherly awe. “they’re real! we did THAT!”
“yeah, we did,” he replies, lips still pressed against your skin. “i’m proud of you.”
“i haven’t done anything yet!”
but really you have
to him you’re one of the bravest people he’s ever met in his entire life and he knows it must be so so hard for you to accept the fact that you’re having a baby aged 20 during uni
not that it’s uncommon but it’s just….not particularly ideal? at this moment in time?
“im so happy right now.”
“me too, baby.” you squeeze his hands, “me too!!!! our baby!!!! honey is the size of a peach already!!!”
he starts laughing
hoseok is just so overwhelmed with emotions he genuinely feels like he might cry rn
“i’m so happy it’s with you,” he says honestly and like the nurse is like :’) and you’re like :’o “it could have been anyone at any point in my life, but i’m so glad it’s with you.”
you look at him in awe
because that’s the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to you
like
ever
you tug him gently by the hand and he brings himself forward and
SMOOCH
you believe this is the first kiss he has given you since the “big shindig” (for some reason, flat 18 are obsessed with calling everything a shindig and so it just sort of stuck)
so it’s a big deal
and it’s also at the place where your pregnancy was confirmed
it’s perfect
the nurse is like AWWWWWWWWW
the sonographer is just like “anyways ! do you want to know the gender !!!”
you and hoseok have talked about maybe finding out sooner
it would put flat 18 at rest knowing if honey is a girl or a boy
but deep down it’s like...if honey is a boy or a girl for definite you don’t want the nickname honey to go away when you start referring to it as a name you both like...and plus like isnt it way too early
hoseok is happy with whatever choice you want because he likes the element of surprise
you two decided a couple of days ago that it could be super cute to have a reveal party
jimin was particularly excited about that idea (“I’M GONNA MAKE THE CUPCAKES”)
“um actually, can you like put it in an envelope!! we want to have a reveal party so it’s gonna be a surprise for now!”
the nurse and stuff are like “omg yes of course!!” and so it’s sealed away in a little envelope
“i can’t believe we’re actually like...almost parents,” hoseok says on the way back to the car.
“i know. it’s so weird. i can’t believe WE’RE having a kid together.”
hoseok helps strap you in because he’s one of THOSE expecting fathers who like as soon as he knows it’s happening he’s cautious about EVERYTHING
literally everything
falling out of bed when he’s staying over? not allowed, he’s making pillow barriers
tripping over rugs? the rug is being rolled up and put away
hotel? trivago
“it’s actually super funny to me because like i always fantasised about boning the Daddy of biology and look at where we are right now!!”
he starts the car- “the ‘daddy of biology’? what??”
and you’re like, “oh yeah oops haha basically i had a fat old crush on you and we all started calling you that.”
“i’m...honoured? well i knew you had a crush on me already, heehee”
as he pulls out of the hospital he glances over and grins to himself. “if it makes you feel better, i remember telling yoongi about the cute friend of seunghee who comes to my class every other day. yoongi made fun of me for weeks afterwards, and now look at us!!”
(yes it boosts your ego a little bit)
when christmas comes around hoseok makes an ultimate surprise
you end up showing off the baby scan like it’s a broken wrist in primary school because everybody wants to see the little honey
jeongguk is CONVINCED he can see a penis and so he’s like 98% sure it’s a baby boy
haseul tells him several times that it’s literally honey’s foot but he’s having none of it
you call your mom and tell her that you’re coming to see her in early january
(specifically january 4th)
she’s weirdly suspicious about it but nonetheless excited
hoseok has made plans for you to meet his family just afterwards so you’re going to be showing off the scan quite frequently
flat 18 don’t like doing gifts at christmas but jimin always bakes goodies for the flat
this year you’re particularly upset because you have yet to taste jimin’s christmas cookies and you already took your recommended amount of sugar by the time his cookies are done
“one cookie won’t hurt honey,” seunghee says
“i’m not taking aNY risks with it!!!”
hoseok makes a stop by the flat after you’ve had your first christmas dinner as a flat <3 aw
he shocks everybody when he walks in because he’s gone the extra mile and got gifts for everybody in the flat
“it’s just a way of me saying thanks for looking after my babies,” he says as he hands out the gifts
you can literally feel jeongguk’s smirk
and of course !!! he got you like three gifts because you’re secretly like the love of his life
even though it’s really not a secret but still
he mostly gets you the typical christmas things like things he knows you wanted (like that sailor moon designer ring that you don’t need really but omg its gorgeous and you want matching)
the last gift is really small and you’re like :O because the small gifts are usually the super thoughtful ones
it’s keys….
you’re almost like “HUH”
then it clicks
“oh...my...GOD?????”
hoseok bought the place you and him went to check out a few weeks back (the one just a few minutes away from the flat and campus)
AND IT DOESN’T END THERE
he’s all giggly and happy when you start BLUBBERING about how you own a house and now you can get a nursery and omg no more listening to jimin and jeongguk screaming over super smash ultimate in the living room
“because i think it’s time we live together, as a family, you know?” he says, holding you in his arms and kissing your face really sweetly. “it’ll be so good, living with my girlfriend and soon enough, my baby.”
“g-girlfriend?”
“well, yeah baby, of course. wanna be my girlfriend? please?”
you cry even more
“wtf yes of course i do :(”
(flat 18 are extremely territorial and are only settled and content with you leaving when hoseok takes them to the house and they’re like :D okay we’re coming over every weekend)
((haseul cries when she sees the room that’s gonna be the nursery))
15 weeks ^_^
“what if your mom beats my ass?”
today is january 4th which means it is the day that hoseok is going to meet your family
and also the day they are going to indirectly meet the little honey :’)
honey is now the size of a navel orange according to the website that everyone in flat 18 has pinned on their laptop chrome browser
which is really cute
jimin is the flat 18 member who likes to call honey everything but honey and recently started nicknaming them after the fruits on the website
so he’s like, “good morning little satsuma!” or “hello navel orange, how are you?” when he sees you around the flat
you’re probably going to be officially moved out by next week which is really exciting teeheehee
“she won’t….probably. my mom is really nice! she’ll like you!”
“will she still like me when she finds out i teach biology to seunghee?”
“yes probably, i don’t think she really knows what that means.”
“what, biology?”
“no, i don’t think she’ll realise that you’re a professor at my- you know what, never mind that. did you lock the car?”
since christmas and becoming hoseok’s official girly, you two have just been closer than ever
hoseok is still really cautious about the baby stuff because this is obviously his first baby ever
he’s that person who thinks having sex will like kill the baby
of course, he did try it once
just to say he’d had sex with a pregnant lady
“that’s one for the bois.”
“what bois, you don’t have any friends, baby.”
“NOT true i have like 3 friends!!”
when hoseok timidly knocks on your mom’s front door he’s so so nervous when a big buff man opens the door instead
inside he’s like wtf i thought y/n’s dad was like GONE
but then you’re like “oh hi daren! yeah, this is my boyfriend, hoseok, hoseok this is my mom’s boyfriend!”
you didn’t tell hoseok just because you got pleasure seeing him look so terrified at the thought of telling ur Dad that he knocked you up
thankfully you’re not close enough to daren for him to have any protective feelings for you
not like a close dad would anyway
when he meets your mom it’s literally like meeting an older You
like
your mom is so nice :(
she greets hoseok really really excitedly and is all for embarrassing you within 5 minutes of you coming home
“did you know that it’s been exactly four years and five months since y/n came home with a BOY? she never comes home with anybody!!! i thought she was joining a nunnery!!!”
like omg…..so funny…...really, like, joke of the year
your sister is also here and she’s looking at hoseok like -_o because…. “i’ve seen you somewhere…”
now you’re shaking
omg does she KNOW
“i mean, he was at [cousin’s name]’s wedding hahahha...that’s probably how u know him….small world.”
“ew what do you MEAN he was there- he’s not family is he?”
o.o
“wtf no he’s a friend of [groom’s name] wtf Why would i be dating him if he was family What is wrong with you?”
you guys have a nice little snack and tea together and hoseok starts to feel really comfortable
but then Mrs y/n puts down her tea and sits back in her chair, slapping her thighs: “alright then. so what’s this big surprise you have for us?”
oh
oh yeah he forgot about the fact that you’re having his kid and you’re about to drop the news
suddenly he wants to throw up the brownies he just ate
and your sisters blue shirt looks like a perfect place to throw up <3
“well, it’s kind of been a surprise to us all, actually,” you begin, and you take hoseok’s hands in your own and your sister narrows in on it and she knows like right away
she thought she saw the bump but didn’t want to mention it because You’re the sensitive sister and if it was just weight gain she didn’t wanna handle you crying everywhere
but now she knows and she sits back in her seat and starts to smile
she wants to say something but hoseok looks at her like owo please don’t say anything sis
(she doesn’t)
“but, me and hoseok are in a very...close relationship-”
“oh god you got married didn’t you.”
“um, no, but, i’m sure that’s in the future, right? y-yeah? right, yeah, um…”
“it’s not something we’re discussing right now,” hoseok blurts out. “but, i mean, i want to? soon? like later?”
your mom is literally there like “well what is it????”
“.....i’m pregnant.”
“...oh.”
...
...
“REALLY???????”
your mom is shook to the core
she really doesn’t believe you until you whip out the baby scan
and she starts sobbing
like full on sobbing like she’s just been punched in the face by bowser
daren is all smiles and is like “wow congrats!”
your sister hugs both you and hoseok and says to hoseok in his ear “can you please sign my copy of “ouch mitosis” because it’s my favourite book and i totally knew you were famous the moment you walked in” and pulls away and is like “im so excited to be an aunt!!! what’s the gender!!! when are they due!!! what are you gonna call them!!!!”
needless to say your sister leaves with a signed copy of hoseok’s big money book
and your mom is now 100% hooked on the baby being called honey
week 17 :-)
you and hoseok are now homeowners officially !!!!!
flat 18 have come down to visit as a sort of moving in house-warming party and hoseok invited his “three friends” (by friends he means work colleagues lmao)
jimin is still weirded out by the fact that professor jung heard him talking about his fantasy of having professor min inside his GUTS and so tries to avoid hoseok and yoongi when they are together
hoseok also cannot forget hearing that :-( his ears :-( are tainted :-(
it’s your first real time meeting hoseok’s friends
like you’ve never really met namjoon or seokjin but you know of them
because everybody knows about the married Gays of your uni like it made the news and everybody was invited to their after party last year
(yes you went but only like for fifteen minutes because you remembered that you had an art history essay due the next morning that hadn’t been done)
for the sake of you and honey, seunghee tries not to be weirded out by the fact that so many members of staff are at your house and wtf hi professor min WHY are you here again
“can i touch?” seokjin asks really suddenly after hoseok is showing yoongi and namjoon the room that will be the nursery
currently it’s empty with like one box and that one box is full of clothes haseul ordered on impulse
“um. yes!!”
“are you sure? i know some moms get really protective over who touches and i don’t wanna overstep-”
“put ur freakishly big hand on my belly right now!”
he does and he gets really excited touching because he’s never actually touched a baby belly before
namjoon is most excited about the nursery and he’s listing off things hoseok could get
like “OOOO you could totally get one of those really big stuffed bears if you’re going for neutral tones- wait, that’s such a good idea? i’ll order one.”
and hoseok’s like mm okay sweetie sure whatever spend your money on me it’s okay
yoongi is really just. in awe of the baby scan
like it’s not even his baby and he’s tearing up like wtf that’s his niece or nephew that’s his mf baby!!!!!! that’s gonna be the person he spends all his cash on!!!!! he’s so excited to be broke and baby whipped!!!
“and so what, you’re like seventeen weeks?”
“yep! i’m almost four months uwu!!! honey is as big as a pomegranate, how cute!! time flies when you’re having fun huh!”
seokjin pauses and asks the big question like “but like what are you going to do about maternity? are they letting you have days off school? because i can totally send one of my sociology kids to take notes in your lectures because i have authority apparently and you’re like. family? i could do that.”
and you’re like “omg pls no that kid needs their own education!!!” and you tell him that your professors and the dean let you have time off near the due date (which should probably be around june!! a summer babie)
“but it sucks because i wanted to have a gender reveal party and invite some people from uni but then they’re gonna find out that hoseok is the dad and he could like lose his job :(”
and then seokjin is like: “wait but you study art and not biology?”
… “what do you mean?”
“well, policy says that you can’t have a relationship between a teacher and their student. but if you’re in completely different departments….and he doesn’t teach you, therefore can’t have bias over your grades or anything like that…..then really you’re allowed to be with him.”
..
what
wHY DIDN’T YOU KNOW THIS????
“since when is that a thing????”
“since like. the day our uni was founded?????”
ob viously when hoseok finds out he’s like O____O “how did you know that omg??”
and seokjin is so done he’s just sitting there with his face looking like this -__-
“it’s literally in the Faculty Handbook that you’re supposed to read before you join the uni as a teacher…”
and hoseok scoffs and grins sheepishly, “yeah well yoongi got me the job so i didn’t read any of that.”
(from across the room jimin groans)
((“so i guess this means i can’t seduce yoongi at a family wedding huh.”))
week 20 :’)
you have somehow adopted the name of “campus milf”
which jimin doesn’t think is that bad of a nickname
“it could be worse, y/n. let that sink in.” and he’s right it really could be worse
nobody actually really cares that you’re pregnant like really they could care less
some students say weird things but it doesn’t really bother you bc like lmao? who even are you Jongin Get out of here!
people aren’t 100% familiar with hoseok being the father but it goes without saying that it will be around campus in less than 15 hours because majority of the art department were present for the gender reveal and oh look
jeongguk invited taehyung and taehyung invited his friends and now there’s a whole bunch of jocks at the gender reveal party?????
the party is obviously at your house
YOUR HOUSE!!!! YES MF THATS URS!!!!
you invited your close family and flat 18 of course and jeongguk invited taehyung who invited his girlfriend binnie and his roomie jackson and jackson, being part of the football team, invited some of the jocks
you would have cared if the jocks hadn’t brought gifts but half of them turned up with a gift or food and so you’re like “okay well come on in boys i’m y/n hi we’ve literally never ever met”
it looks really funny seeing jocks in their fucking JERSEYS (like they couldn’t have changed for this one occasion) standing around your backyard with glasses of wine
oK maybe jeongguk has a vodka and dr pepper but that’s because he did blow up all the balloons from his lungs alone and he deserved a reward
hoseok invited his family too and his friends and that’s about it
your art professor is also here too and she is technically half of the art department (or half of those you care about because weird quiet kid Jisung didn’t wanna show up which is honestly really rude and suddenly you’re not friends anymore)
even though this party technically reveals the gender, you both asked for “gender neutral” clothes and by gender neutral you meant any colour besides the stereotypical blue and pink
because what if honey really likes the colour green? what then
you and hoseok let jimin be in charge of the reveal party and he’s done a pretty good job
for some reason he’s wearing his hoodie up and you’re like “literally what the fuck it’s sunny today?”
and he’s all surrender hands: “that’s exactly why. i don’t...like the sun.”
“what do you mEAN??????? you love the sun don’t lie??!!”
a couple of weeks ago you and hoseok made another visit to the hospital to see if the gender was 100% accurate
the process was weirdly fast and the sonographer was like “lol yeah it’s right” and then dipped
so when you have jimin the envelope he has peeped and done the thing
“haha lol i knew it.”
“no you didn’t??????”
but he did a really lovely job; there’s a cluster of balloons and cakes decorated with the Blue and Pink and there’s like a cute game on like guess the gender or something you don’t really care much about
hoseok’s family really want it to be a boy <3
mrs y/n wants it to be a girl and so does your sister <3
you don’t really care just as long as the baby is okay and healthy <3
when it’s time to reveal the gender jimin has decided that a fantastic way to do that is by giving you and hoseok like one of those party poppers that when it pops it bleeds like coloured confetti and stuff
you actually really like the idea because it’s not as awkward as a cake where you cut and it’s awkwardly long and the reaction feels kind of forced (you youtubed reveal parties)
so this one is really like a quick reaction so hopefully it will feel a lot more genuine!
“are you ready, baby?”
hoseok has one arm wrapped firmly around your waist and oh LAWD
he’s doing the smile
you know the smile
you nod and grin at him like “yep! let’s see who honey really is!!!”
so everybody is ready
so excited
jeongguk is filming like he can feel it in his bones rn that this babie is gonna be a boy
like it’s gonna be his son...half son….almost son….technically his non biological son
everybody does a countdown
“three!”
hoseok smiles super excitedly
“two!”
he kisses your lips super fast and laughs quietly
he’s so excited
“one!”
POP
wait what
you can feel your stomach CHURNING when the party popper releases literally nothing but black and white confetti
what just happened?
what does black and white mean?
you’re looking desperately between hoseok and the popper and then back to jimin who’s faking a :O by the patio doors
jeongguk is like “aw fuck should i restart?”
“omg is it a dud? what happened is this a busted popper please say it is omg is there something wrong with honey? is honey okay? oh my god is honey dead? oh my god why would we party pop that?????”
hoseok’s like “omg calm down it’s just a dud omg it’s okay”
you’re literally like about to cry
then jimin steps forward
“guys!”
and everybody looks
“yall gonna stress me the fuck out”
and in a viral video like fashion
he yanks down his hoodie and
oh wow
his head is a giant mop of blue
blue
BLUE MEANS BOY
ITS A BOY
everybody starts screaming and clapping and jeongguk is laughing his ASS off like this shit about to be the blurriest gender reveal video ever
“omg a boy!!! a boy!!! y/n we’re having a son!!! omg y/n our baby!!! our little honey!!!”
hoseok is over the freaking moon
like he has not been this excited since the first baby scan
you actually start crying now
“i’m not CRYING it’s just the pregnancy…. ok fuck OFF IM CRYING IM SO HAPPY!!! i’m having a son!!!!”
time for haseul to be both happy and sad at the same time
seunghee and jeongguk are like sucking eachothers titties right now like they are so hyped
“TOLD YOU !!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!”
hoseok brings you in for the biggest and longest kiss Ever
like you haven’t had many long kisses with hoseok because it’s been trying to build up a relationship time for the past three months of your life
but this kiss is so loving you almost faint
he brings you in so gently and holds your head in his hands
one thumb rubs across your cheekbone and wow. this kiss...is so good like are those stars???
“i love you.”
alexa...ALEXA PLAY DESPACITO RIGHT NOW
“i love You more,” you whisper against his lips and he makes this really cute noise at the back of his throat (kinda like one of those whines you do where it’s like too good to be true) and he kisses you again
jeongguk zooms in
“look at this….ugh, no respect for any single people here.”
(for a brief moment jimin’s bleached blue scalp goes unnoticed until yoongi compliments him on it)
((he disappears for like fifteen minutes in the toilet and yoongi doesn’t wanna know what he was doing))
22 weeks!!!!
hoseok really probably shouldn’t find you sexy right now
you keep going on and on and on about how un-sexy you are with swollen ankles and stuff
in his opinion you’re looking really good considering and he won’t say it but the weight gain looks good on you and it gives you a nice natural #dewy look that he really loves
he remembers how cautious he was about having sex with you at like. what? 10 weeks
character development time
he’s very aware of the research and the facts and so when you shuffle over to him and huff and act all extra EXTRA touchy he’s just knows
“omg are you horny AGAIN”
“im SORRY IT JUST HAPPENS”
and he doesn’t really care that you’re big and pregnant and yeah actually your ankles are kinda swollen but it’s fine
hoseok discovers that he actually really likes pregnancy sex
pregnancy sex always scared him bc omg what if my dick touches my KID that would be all levels of weird
but he is like a biology professor and knows that’s not realistic (he thinks)
and like he was aware that at some point during pregnancy, your body is gonna be producing a lot more fluid
but my GOD
he nearly bust a nut after 3 seconds because he just slid right in
unlike the big shindig 22 weeks ago, hoseok is so so SO careful during pregnancy sex
like he’s extra loving and strokes your hair and kisses your face and arms and stomach
he loves kissing ur tummy :(
esp after sex because he’s like “im sorry honey :( i know you must be traumatised in there.”
but in the moment he really does take advantage of the fact that your hormones are going crazy and it’s not gonna last forever
you’re a talker in bed and he knows that
you’re very vocal about how things feel and some of the things you say really get to his ego like his head is so big rn
“oh...OH, omg, yep, you found it, oh fuck- yes! hoseok, yes, right there-”
and you sound so fucking hot but he can’t be rough bc like Honey is gonna be SCARRED FOR LIFE
your thing is saying i love you during sex
like a lot
hoseok finds it so endearing that you talk and whine with like every thrust and then spill out a thousand “i love you’s” in under thirty seconds as you cum <3 because <3 that’s his girl <3 that’s the love of his life <3 and she loves him back <3 heeheehee
his heart swells with pride
((hoseok also gets extremely turned on that one time you call him daddy during sex and he HAS to find out how to get rid of that kink before honey gets here))
23 weeks :P
as promised, you invite seunghee to help you and hoseok paint the nursery
jimin came too but he literally did nothing
all he did was sit on the floor looking at baby furniture like
jimin sweetie these walls aren’t gonna paint themselves
you have decided on a cream and beige coloured nursery
because it’s unisex and also makes the room feel really bright and clean and nice for when honey arrives
hoseok loves yellow and since the nursery is primarily your favourite colours, a lot of smaller accessories are yellow around the room
seunghee had so much fun looking for ~yellow~ items because “monkeys totally match the theme and omg this mobile is monkeys and bananas its already on its way i’ve just ordered it.”
the nursery takes roughly around a week to get done completely
alongside your studies, some other art students who are now very aware of the baby and the bump helped paint some of the furniture while you were catching up on some work
example a: you accidentally ordered a dark brown chester drawers and when it arrived you cried for like 45 minutes
jeongguk asked some kids from class to come by your house after class and help paint it so you didn’t feel so stressed and so you could actually finish your art assignments in prep for exams
hoseok and jeongguk helped put up the crib because “this is not a one man job, y/n, this...this is a test of skill.”
yoongi comes around often to look at the nursery and he’s the person who won’t buy anything until the baby is out and in the world
namjoon definitely does buy the huge stuffed bear for the corner of the room and often you catch seunghee asleep against it because she comes by the nursery so often to help you and hoseok make it perfect
because hoseok has a full time job that really requires all of his time and sometimes he can’t be working on the nursery and marking essays at the same time :(
“hee, can you pass me the blankets from that box over there?” you point to a collection of boxes by the wardrobe and seunghee nods, practically running over
you’re both working on the nursery (it’s friday afternoon and classes are over, but unfortunately hoseok had to finish a meeting and he’s currently in his office ((at home)) finishing these essays for the weekend)
yoongi called and said he’d be round later because he wants to check in on honey (and you of course) and he’s also coming for dinner because it’s normal to invite jimin’s physics professor around
it’s totally fine
at this point you sort of forget that he’s a professor
yoongi has become like a permanent figure in your life since hoseok and you moved in
like flat 18, he’s literally always over
seunghee fishes out like three blankets because lord knows you have about three hundred thanks to haseul and namjoon and their impulsive buying
the nursery is basically finished at this point
all you’re doing is adding blankets and a few cute little pillows to the crib and then
hey pasta
it’s done :)
“y/n, i really can’t wait for honey to be here.”
you turn slightly and see seunghee running her hands over the chester drawers, looking at the cute little decorations and pictures on the wall and the monkey mobile and, her favourite part, the little bee wall stickers that hoseok found and thought were cute (“we call him honey, it seems fitting!”)
“me too,” you reply super honestly, setting down the blanket. “if you had told me at the start of september that i’d be here right now, in a house i own, pregnant with jung hoseok’s baby...i would have seriously laughed in your face.”
“i’m just...so happy that everything is working out for you!”
it’s time for seunghee to get especially sappy
“and i know that having a baby at twenty can be really hard and it hasn’t been easy for you- but i’m 100% here for you whenever you need me and i’m so so so so happy that jimin introduced us as friends because i love having you in my life….even though you slept with my biology professor….it’s okay….i love you so much….you’re like my sister and i’m so excited for honey have i said that i’m excited yet? cause i am!!!”
you blame pregnancy hormones because you start sobbing when seunghee blurts out all these lovely things
like how she’s grateful to be helping you in the nursery and how she thinks you and hoseok are such a good match and how she misses having you around the flat <3
“seunghee…” you bring her in for such a tight cuddle
seunghee is definitely that friend who even though she’s older she feels like the little baby sister that you want to protect from all harm on earth
even though she’s the oldest out of the flat 18 gang, you all look to her as like a baby sibling
(minus jeongguk that ONE TIME he made out with her….yes you remember the text message)
so you’re just hugging her in the middle of the nursery
hoseok is just about finished with essays and he refrains from like screaming out of joy
he loves being a professor but fucking hell
some of the GARBAGE his students write because they know he’s the cool professor who takes it easy on his kids
so he’s already packing everything away when he pauses
...is that...SQUEALING??
what’s happening??????
he assumes the worst and ZOOMS out of the office towards the nursery where you and seunghee are
safe to say that he’s so thankful nothing bad is happening
you’re holding your stomach with the widest eyes and smile and seunghee is like SQUEALING LIKE A DAMN PIGLET
“is everything okay???? what happened???? is honey okay?????? are you okay?????”
he blinks so confused when you wave your hands at him and beckon him closer
“HE KICKED HE’S KICKING QUICK QUICK HOBI QUICK--”
HE CROSSES THE ROOM SO FAST
seunghee is like crying to the side of the room and hoseok has both hands on your stomach
honey stopped kicking when hoseok put his hands on there
and he was like :( oh
“maybe he went to sleep?” seunghee doesn’t want hoseok to feel bad about it
you put your hands over his and then stroke your tummy
“it’s okay, honey, it’s just daddy! say hi to daddy?”
hoseok’s like seconds away from crying
like omg R His Eyes Filling Up
but then
honey starts kicking again
VERY ENTHUSIASTICALLY
and hoseok goes from :’( to :’D in like 2 seconds
“oh my god he knows it’s me!!! hi honey!!!! hi!!!”
he drops to his knees so that he can be level with the stomach and around about where honey is kicking
“hi honey! it’s your daddy,” he puts on this really cute cooing voice Like the typical baby talk voice
seunghee is texting the flat like HONEY KICKED ME
“he knows your voice,” you say with a little laugh, one hand on your tummy and the other threading through hoseok’s hair
“this is amazing,” he mutters, and then kisses your tummy and smiles, “did you feel that, honey? can you hear me?”
KICK KCIK CKICKCKCKCIC
“omg yes i think he can hear you holy SHIT-”
“don’t swear in front of honey!!!”
“he HURTS!”
everybody forgot that jimin was still here because he was napping in the living room and so he comes in really late and is like “OMG HONEY IS KICKING? WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY TELL ME??”
honey seems to be familiar with a lot of voices
he obviously really likes mommy’s voice and when she talks to him he likes to kick every once in a while
honey really loves daddy’s voice because when hoseok does his daily chit-chat honey goes crazy
honey also knows jeongguk’s voice really well
jimin is afraid to go near honey because he kicked him when he went to kiss your tummy
he also kicked haseul but she was like “OOOH HE HEARD ME!!!!” and doesn’t let it bother her because!!! she felt the kick!!!! that’s her nephew!!!!
26 weeks (yawn)
it’s starting to hit
the Pregnancy Pains
up until now you’ve been pretty blessed and actually it’s been a nice pleasant journey
but good grief it’s 4:56am and everything hurts
you physically cannot stay in bed any longer
for a moment you actually get really panicked because oh GOD labour is gonna be so much worse than this
like this is nothing
girl you have no idea what’s coming
hoseok has learned to become a light sleeper
you have a really weird sleeping schedule during pregnancy and sometimes he’d wake up at 6am to go to work and you’re already up doing stuff and he gets home at like 6pm sometimes and you’re flat out, then waking up at 3am to continue the day because you were in agony
so when you wake up at (nearly) 5am on a SATURDAY he’s like already up
his body clock is so weird now thanks to you and your weird sleeping habits
“hurts?” hoseok asks rubbing your back as you’re slumped over the side of the bed. he barely catches a nod and kisses your temple and hugs you, “i read on that baby website that baths can help ease the pain sometimes. should i run one?”
you nearly CRY
“yes yes Yes please omg :(”
so that’s how he got to where he is right now
sitting on the bathroom floor running a bath
he’s so careful to get the temperature right and he spends a good three minutes deciding which lush bath bomb is going to be used
(he settles on “honey bee” which was actually a gift he got you on valentines day but you never got around to using) ((he was skeptical because of the colours but baby is called honey so he thought it would be cute)) (((you loved it)))
you hobble into the bathroom and he’s just about finishing it up, running his fingers in the water to make sure it’s not toooOOO hot
you love watching the colours fizz in the bath and so naturally you have to be there to see it happen
seeing all the yellows was pretty exciting and hoseok’s just like :D watching you get happy by the colours
hoseok helps you get undressed as you just talk on and on and on
honestly
how do you have so much energy at like 5am in the morning…
he can’t help but notice how much you are GLOWING
like he hasn’t really seen many pregnant women
if any at all besides you
but you really look so pretty and natural and just wow he’s full of love
as you sit down in the bath, you grip onto his hand as he moves to get more comfortable and you’re like “do you wanna get in with me!!!”
“baby, i don’t think i’m gonna fit.”
“you will i promise, get in here!”
he’s skeptical
“yea...i don’t think im gonna fit, love.”
oh he does
he fits
if he fits he sits and he FITS
he really underestimated how wide this bath was and he sits with his back near the taps and you’re facing him
you have enough room to put your legs on either side of him and you’re like sitting between his legs and in all honesty the tummy is the only thing between you and him and his dick
but like you’ve seen it before you don’t care
and he certainly doesn’t care about seeing any bits of you bc your his bABY thats his GIRL
“this smells amazing.”
“yeah, smells like-”
“honey!”
with hoseok being like. a full time professor and with you trying to make it to classes in between awful pregnancy pains, it’s hard to find time to spend with you because he’s really busy
sometimes you do actually go to class and end up like falling asleep on the desk and professor choi is like torn between letting you stay there or sending jeongguk to get you and take you home
“thank you for this, hoseok.”
:D “hey, hey, hey...anytime you need anything, i will do it, okay?”
“i know babe and you’ve been so so so so helpful these past few months and i know it must have been hard and a big adjustment but im just so glad you’re here and that we’re raising a family together like this means so much to me that you’re here with me and i just love you a LOT okay like a lot-”
“y/n l/n!” hoseok playfully cuts you off and holds your face in his hands (his signature pussy-throbbing move)
his hands are wet and now so is your face but you really don’t care
“you are,” he continues, “the love of my life. i couldn’t let you do this alone. meeting you, being with you- starting a family with you has been one of the best experiences of my whole life. and i wouldn’t change that for anything!!! i love you so much, and i love you even when you’re cranky, and i love you when you ask for really disgusting things to eat, and i love you when you sing to honey in the mornings. i’m just...so in love with you and honey, i can’t even put it into words!!!”
and he starts speaking so damn fast
like you BARELY catch it
“and you’re thebest thing that has ever happened to me and introducing you to my family was the proudest moment of my life and we’re gonna be the best parents ever and god i love you more than anything i would Die for you.”
…
i…
damn…
“...i think writing a best selling book is probably more worthy of pride than boring old me.”
“books are like a ten man job thing. you and me and honey are a two person job thing and i’m so proud of us, so proud of you :(”
he draws you in with a really soft kiss and its so. soft. and nice.
yep his dick is right up against honey right now
honey, sweetie, im so sorry oh god close your eyes baby close ur eyes
…
“we should get out soon bc this water is looking really ugly.”
“yeah i agree let’s get out”
30 weeks :3
<Y/N has created a new chat!>
from haseul: eye
from y/n: baby shower. 2 weeks time. my house. bring gifts or food
from y/n: preferably mustard sandwiches or sardines :)
from guk: thats fucking NASTY nobody bring that
from hoseok: last week she wanted meatballs and milk………….
from guk: do pregnant women deserve rights? be honest
from y/n: well looks like guk is no longer invited :)
from guk: NO PLS
from seunghee: YEAH BOIIIIII I HAVE SO MANY GIFTS
from yoongi: why did y/n just privately message me asking for blended sardines Hell nah pregnant women dont deserve rights
from y/n: WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN RN :(
from hoseok: so! bring cakes !!!!!!
from namjoon: i have the best gift ever Not To Brag
from jimin: hi professor min how do you like the weather today
<y/n has removed jimin from the chat>
from y/n: can you let taehyung know the date? i dont have his number but he gave really warm hugs when i last saw him and i want another one
from y/n: tell him to bring his girlfriend too she looks like she’ll bring me a good gift
from hoseok: omg im dating a gold digger….
32 weeks !!!!!!!
“baby showers are technically just a way for the mom to get gifts. this is technically baby exploitation-”
“oh my god jeongguk if you don’t shut up im gonna shove this stick of celery up ur ass”
not that you’re ready to admit it to anybody
but yeah you organised a baby shower just to get gifts
it’s really only small
in comparison to your gender reveal party which was quite large
and even though a lot of expecting moms like having “women only” baby showers
you realise that you really want hoseok to be there
he’s been as important in the process as you have and you wouldn’t want him to feel left out
so this baby shower is open to everybody
again it’s only small: attendees are hoseok, yoongi, namjoon, seokjin, flat 18, hoseok’s mom and sister, your sister and mom, taehyung and his gf and professor choi because she was so excited
that seems quite large but in comparison to the gender reveal party this is really quite small and humble
“i can’t believe it’s almost been 8 months already,” haseul says, already starting on the cupcakes
jimin has started baking things more frequently to keep himself busy during exam season
“mhm!!! not long now!!!”
thankfully hoseok’s mom and sister get on really well together with your family and professor choi is like boring yoongi to death talking about something art related
namjoon and seokjin are taking a look at the finished nursery because hoseok’s really proud of how it turned out
it’s time to open gifts uwu!!!
most of the gifts are for honey
thankfully everybody stuck to the cream theme and there’s a lot of cute cream things for honey to wear and use when he’s born
seunghee keeps buying monkey related things for honey meanwhile haseul is hung up on bees
namjoon buys a lot of bear things
you just hope that honey doesn’t grow up as a furry
jimin and jeongguk are the friends who buy those cringey weirdly inappropriate baby shirts that have quotes like, “daddy’s fastest swimmer!” or like onesies that say “my favourite food is titty!”
you sit there like what the FUCK is this
and jeongguk is like “it’s a shirt !!! honey will look so cute in it!!”
“hONEY IS NOT WEARING A SHIRT THAT SAYS THAT WHAT KIND OF MOM DO YOU THINK I AM??”
yoongi is weirdly fashionable with his baby clothes
like he has a thing for those teddy coats and he bought like eight in different colours
“honey might like red, you don’t know yet.”
namjoon and seokjin together :( give the cutest gift :(
“oK so most professors end up writing books and stuff-” side eye at hoseok - “and so i just thought that, well, honey is gonna wanna grow up reading and stuff so i made this book!!! well, we made this book. everyone helped somehow and jeongguk drew the pictures and it’s just a little something for honey to grow up with reading”
you wanna cry
hoseok wants to cry
haseul cries
it’s not even for her but she cries
“its JUST REALLY THOUGHTFUL OKAY?”
you think it ends there with everybody giving gifts
but oh no
no
hoseok has a gift??????????????
“this gift is for mommy” he says with a bright smile and out the corner of your eye yoongi is squirming with a smirk
...what does he know that you don’t….
your sister is also smiling……
where’s ashton kutcher…….
you unwrap this little box and open it and
wow
OOOOOOOOOF
you’re so still staring at this really gorgeously simple ring that you don’t even notice hoseok getting down on one knee
HASEUL IS REALLY CRYING RN
“with honey close on the way, i figured i ought to ask before things get crazy.”
omg you brave looking at him and hes got that look again
THE FOND LOOK
AND YOUR EYES START FILLING UP
“y/n l/n i love you and i wanna spend the rest of my life with you :’) will you marry me?”
there is not a dry eye amongst flat 18 right now
haseul actually has to go outside because omg she’s so happy for you
seunghee teared up a little bit and jimin cried but then started laughing
jeongguk is being so dramatic about it
he’s crying as if his pet dog just died
“i...cant believe….my girl is all grown up….i cant...breathe rn omg…..can someone get me a drink?”
35 weeks :o
finals are here
but since jeongguk and haseul are art (sort of) majors their finals were earlier than other subjects
and so you decide to brave life and visit flat 18 :’)
you see a bunch of people on the way there because apparently a lot of people live off campus and walk at the same time as you
like why is everybody here rn
at this point you get a few more stares because
omg is that y/n l/n she’s HUGE!!!!!
you’re genuinely past caring at this point
you’re huge and your pregnant and you’re confident
jeongguk and haseul are the only ones at flat 18 when you arrive
it feels weird being back but it’s nice because flat 18 was once your home
your room hasn’t really changed much and you discover that . sometimes taehyung stops round and crashes in YOUR ROOM???
and if it’s not taehyung then it can be any one of their friends they invite around
which you’re only slightly hurt about
“jesus CHRIST you’re massive!!!”
“thanks jeongguk that makes me feel soOoooO good about myself <3”
“NO, fuck,” and he pauses because there’s a No Swearing Policy around honey since it’s not apparent that since he can hear everything he can probably hear jeongguk swearing too. “i just meant that! wow honey got really big :D not long now!! five more weeks until due date!!!”
haseul plops down on the other side of you
“i can’t wait until he’s here,” she says. “little honey is already the size of a pineapple- which is really crazy to think about!!”
it’s nice to spend some time with your friends after like weeks of being with hoseok
and don’t get me wrong you LOVE hoseok with like every single cell inside your body
but it’s nice to have some You time
and You time has always involved flat 18 like they’re drugs and you’re the addict you genuinely can’t be away from them because it starts to hit you hard :-(
haseul is like halfway through telling you something when you Feel it
and it feels Disgusting
you freeze and look down at your stomach
and you watch as honey makes a grand appearance
honey sort of “rolls over” and for a moment everyone is like >:O as honey’s whole body is visible moving across your stomach and it’s literally like there’s an ALIEN inside of you
“OMG OMGOGG that was so beautiful!!! honey, do it again for me, we have to film this for your dada!!” haseul runs to get her phone
meanwhile guk is looking at your stomach like “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT”
“i dont know but it felt weird”
“IT LOOKED LIKE YOUR STOMACH WAS GONNA EXPLODE”
you bet that honey is like giggling inside
honey: 1 jeongguk: 0
39 weeks…
at 39 weeks, with the due date so close by, you start to feel like something is really wrong
you did some research and while contractions were normal, this pain doesn’t really feel like contractions?
“baby please talk to me, i need to know what hurts so i can call the hospital and let them know.”
hoseok has never ever had to take a call in lecture before but this time he had to
he is so frantic that he set the lecture to a task and really quietly answered the phone at the front of the class
nobody is stupid and they’re all aware that hoseok and yourself are having a baby and so they really don’t mind that their lecture is being paused by you crying on the phone
“i-i-i don’t know...my body hurts and i can feel h-honey moving but he feels stuck or something...hoseok s-something is wrong i think i need to go to the hospital right now”
hoseok goes into full blown panicked dad mode
seunghee is sitting at the front of the lecture like, “hose-i mean, professor jung, do you need me to go and get another professor?”
he doesn’t reply, obviously distressed, and so she ends up waking up yoongi from a nap saying that she thinks maybe you’re going into early labour???
yoongi lets the head of the department know that hoseok has go to like right now and he enters the lecture hall like, “hoseok you need to go and see if she’s okay, don’t worry, i’ll try and go through the rest of the slides, just go, everything is fine”
and so hoseok BOLTS out of the lecture hall
forgets to set homework
and runs across campus to the car-park whilst still on the phone
(yoongi lets the class go because he really doesn’t know SHIT about Behaviour and Physiology of Organisms)
when hoseok and yourself end up at the hospital you realise that it’s not labour like seunghee thinks but things are equally as worrying
honey is currently in the breech position
“most babies are supposed to have moved at around 36-37 weeks, so it is alarming that your baby is still in breech, miss l/n,” the nurse is particularly sympathetic as she lets you and hoseok know
you’re totally lost but hoseok is holding your hand so tight and is so so worried
it’s not really the end of the world that honey is feet first but it’s problematic and means that labour is gonna be a bit more difficult
“well what does this mean? is he okay?”
“your baby is fine, it’s his position that is concerning. it will be more difficult to birth the baby because of his position in the womb- what is more concerning is that we were aware of this at your last scan. last time we saw you, miss l/n, your baby was in the footling breech position. of course, it was possible that he might shift during the time away, but he is now in the flexed breech.”
“w-well….what does that mean? is he gonna be okay?”
“when you are in labour, we will have two options; we can either go through with a vaginal breech birth, or a caesarean birth, depending on how willing he is to come out.”
when hoseok squeezes your hand you just. cry a little bit
“i dont wanna hurt him omg i dont want to have a c section either wtf i thought i’d just have to push him out oh no”
hoseok is feeling awful :( because what is he supposed to do :(
“so what should we do?” he asks really timidly
the nurse frowns and cleans up her things, “i would only suggest going home and staying at home until due date. it really is not recommended that we induce labour naturally but you need to be very careful. your son is not willing to turn on his own or with our help, so we will see what the situation is like during your very early stages of labour and we can discuss what method we go through with. are we leaning more towards a vaginal birth, miss l/n?”
you’re all snotty and sniffly but you nod. “please :( i really don’t wanna be cut open i saw what bella had to go through and im not doing that”
hoseok scoffs “twilight is not a reliable pregnancy source, baby.”
“i do believe that bella had no real pregnancy equipment and that her vampire husband had to cut the baby out of her without any sort of painkillers. in a worse case scenario, you do have to go through with a caesarean birth, you will be safe and we will do our best to relieve the pain for you.”
well that’s reassuring
when you two get home after a long day of panicking you’re incredibly alarmed to find that flat 18, hoseok’s close friends and your sister are all at your house like ??????? what are YOU DOING HERE
it’s like the spiderman meme
“what am i doing here??? i LIVE HERE??? what are YOU DOING HERE????”
“seunghee and yoongi said you were in labour???”
“well im not!!??? why would you think i was in labour?”
seunghee gets really defensive “UM hoseok was like on the verge of a mental breakdown at the front of the classroom and so it made sense that you were in labour?? im sorry???? at least we’re all here???”
you end up having to explain to a whole bunch of people that you’re NOT about to birth a pumpkin sized baby yet
but it’s really hard telling them that honey is like the wrong way :(
surprisingly it’s jimin and the married kims who are most worried about it
jimin just thinks that this means honey is like in real bad danger and he’s like omg :( my son from another mum :( wtf is honey okay?
and the married kims are never going to go through birth like this and so they do feel really alarmed
after hoseok reassures them that everything is (hopefully) okay everyone is sitting there like
:) ok what now
“....shall we order chinese food?” guk suggests
and so you all end up piled in the living room in weird positions watching hell’s kitchen whilst eating chinese food because :) might as well :)
40 WEEKS
your due date is like 4 days away
and you’ve been lying awake with really bad contractions for like 2 hours
but you’re so indignant like you refuse to believe you could be going into labour
hoseok is awake too and omg he’s doing his best
like he just doesn’t know how to help besides hugging you
and he does hug you like so closely and his hands running up and down your side and he’s like humming in your ear to try and take your mind off it
“i feel like im gonna fucking SHIT myself wtf”
he cant help but laugh sometimes, “wanna try for the toilet, baby?”
and you’re like “yeah im not really in the mood for like POOPINg in our bed is that okay?”
he’s already up and getting ready to help you walk across the room
lately you’ve been really wobbly whilst walking and in a lot of pain so he does whatever he can to help
he’s at the bottom of the bed and you’ve just stood up
….
huh
“i think i just peed myself?”
“what? why?”
“i didnt mean to!!!”
and you glance down
and wow thats a lot of pee
…
OH
“OH MY FUCKING GOD MY WATER JUST BROKE”
and oh my god hoseok has NEVER MOVED SO FAST IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE
he rushes to get all his things and honestly your stuff has been in the living room for the past week just in case
all you need now is to spend at least fifteen minutes trying to decide which book to take because obviously you’re gonna have loooaaaads of time to read
“Y/N YOU DONT NEED THE BOOK COME ON HONEY IS COMING WE HAVE TO GOOOOO”
what makes hoseok more panicked is the fact that yOU’re panicked
“omg y/n please calm down i’m driving as fast as i can please please please omg”
“I CANT WHY IS HE COMING NOW HE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE YET”
hoseok crosses like 2 red lights and he’s freaking out double
“I JUST BROKE THE LAW”
“OKAY AND IM HAVING A FUCKING BABY SO KEEP DRIVING MISTER!!!”
you’re an angry birther
as he drives you decide to call jeongguk through the car because #technology
he answers like immediately
“hi babe whats up”
“JEONGGUK IM HAVING A BABY RIGHT NOW PLEASE COME TO THE HOSPITAL”
“what wha-WHAT OH MY FUCKING GOD HE’S COMING??”
“YES PLEASE TELL EVERYBODY- oh fuck hobi it hurtSSSS i wanna go home im not pushing him out yet-”
in the background guk has dropped his phone and is literally screaming around the house
in the back you can hear all of the flat screaming together because HONEY IS COMING
nobody is calm
when yoongi finds out he literally does not know what to do
when you hang up mid sentence he sits staring at the wall like “....omg”
quite literally everybody is a little stressed out when you’re at the hospital
your room is really nice and you’re like “oh wow hoseok you really spoiled me here, too bad i can’t enjoy it because im pushing out a WATERMELON”
obviously because honey is bum first instead of head first things are a little complicated
you’re actually really far in labour already like your mom said it took her like 5 hours to have your sister but turns out it’s been like 32 minutes exactly since your waters broke at home and the nurses seem to think you’re ready now
“NOW??? AS IN RIGHT NOW!!!”
“yep!! let’s bring your son into the world!!”
you discover by simply listening to the nurses that you’re going to be attempting an assisted breech vaginal birth and immediately you get panicked and flustered
you promised haseul and seunghee that they could be there during the birth :(
you had offered it to guk at first but he was like “i am nOT ready to see your vagina i’m sorry” and jimin said he wasn’t sure if he was up for seeing you in a lot of pain during the birth
and yoongi didn’t really want to be there for it because he’s a bit like both guk and jimin
hoseok didn’t mind at all that seunghee and haseul were asked to be there
in fact he was really encouraging of that fact
because both of them were there since the start
like
they watched u pee on those pregnancy tests
so you’re getting really anxious because what if honey comes before they’re here
“miss l/n i need you to breathe for me- please control your breathing! are miss l/n’s scheduled guests here?”
“...they’re in the lobby right now. they’re on their way, miss l/n. keep doing those breathing exercises- yes, there we go!”
hoseok is being nothing but supportive
he’s wiping down your head and holding your hand so tight
“you’re doing amazing, baby, you’re so so brave, i love you”
FINALLY haseul and seunghee bust through the doors
guk, jimin and yoongi are currently like milling around somewhere and your parents and hoseok’s parents have been told the news by guk and yoongi
you’re really fucking scared to have this baby
you did the stupid thing of googling what happens during a breech birth and it made you have a full blown panic attack after reading that honey could die during delivery
now that everything is ready for birth you’re really so scared that honey might not make it
before the midwives prop up your legs on the stirrups you take a good amount of gas an air
an epidural was suggested but hoseok knows that it’s not going to make that much of a difference for honey
and you just want to get him out of you quite honestly Nobody has time for an epidural like just get him out
hoseok feels AWFUL when you’re literally screaming in agony over honey
seunghee and haseul are being so encouraging but all hoseok can do is like stare with tears in his eyes because oh no WHAT HAS HE DONE
the midwives encourage you also with a hands off approach until honey’s bum and bottom half is out
their so vocal and warm like “you’re doing amazing, y/n, just keep pushing!! i can see his feet!!!”
and so you just go for it
you’re mentally praying you don’t like pass out from pushing too hard or worse, shit all over the bed because apparently THAT’S A THING
you’re too busy crying to notice that the midwives look really shocked when honey’s bottom half is out
hoseok gets curious and decides to make sure honey is okay
and he looks and is like “oh WHAT THE FUCK?”
only he doesn’t actually say that
actually he doesn’t say anything
“keep pushing, y/n, h-he’s almost out.”
why are they so hesitant
oh god it hurts so bad
you want to die
you don’t want to have a baby anymore
and then finally
RELEASE
you feel like you can’t breathe but oh my god
the sound of honey SCREAMING is like music to your ears because
HE’S OKAY
but why is everyone acting so WEIRD
you peer up over your legs and take a glance at honey like squirming in the midwives hands
and
oh
Oh WHAT THE FU-
“oh my god his penis fell off!!!!!!!”
honey is a GIRL???????????
HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN???????
you don’t really care that it’s not a boy but like. YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS A BOY
regardless the midwives do their thing and hoseok is back next to you like :O
“you did so well i’m so proud of you i love you so much- you did it! you did it you’re okay honey is okay!”
“honey is a GIRL?”
haseul is torn between being sad and happy because she wanted it to be a girl she kNEW FROM THE START THAT HONEY WAS DESTINED TO BE A GIRL
it turns out that the sonographer was never 100% on it being a boy and all this time the “penis” was probably just a toe or something or a glitch
because honey is definitely a little girl
a precious beautiful little baby girl
hoseok’s baby girl
he totally cries
no
he WEEPS
there are no dry eyes in the birthing room rn
honey is so gorgeous
she definitely has hoseok’s features like she has his eyes and his nose and his ears :(
the midwives let mommy hold honey for a little while
“skin to skin is very important!!! she’s not a little boy like expected, but she’s a perfectly healthy baby!”
if she wasn’t covered in disgusting gloop you would have kissed her all over
but as a mother that instinct is there
you kiss her forehead and her hands and you’re looking up at hoseok like what the fuck we mADE THIS PRECIOUS LITTLE HUMAN
hoseok is crying as if he just had to endure twenty five minutes of agony and had his vagina ripped open
he’s just so happy right now
thats his kid
HIS
THATS HIS BABY GIRL
HIS TWO BABY GIRLS!!!!!
his emotions have been a big fat rollercoaster like it went from panic when your water broke to major panic when seunghee and haseul hadn’t arrived and then horror when you were like screaming in agony and then shock when he thought that honey’s penis has fallen off during BIRTH because NOBODY EXPECTED HONEY TO PULL THE BIGGEST PLOT TWIST OF THE YEAR
now he’s like over the moon he’s so so so so happy
the nurses help get the placenta out but honestly you’re just numbed like you barely register it shooting out
“okay daddy, wanna cut the cord?”
he’s like “no i really dont it looks like a big weird worm”
he still does it anyway
it’s a weirdly fulfilling experience
when it’s time to clean up little honey, you finally break the news to everyone outside
they’re in a mild state of utter confusion
guk is like “well what happened? did it like. grow inside? where did it go?”
and jimin’s like “oh. so it was just a toe or something”
guk is really a little bit disappointed because he wanted a boy so badly but !!! a baby girl !!! a niece!!!!!
(he figures honey will like dinosaurs and naruto all the same as what boy honey would have)
hoseok has made the bed his bed also
he’s snuggled next to you and you have honey on your chest and she’s sleeping so soundly :’)
“have you guys picked a name?”
guk is halfway through eating the fruit salad that haseul made before leaving to get here on time (“you were late because you were making A FRUIT BOWL?” “IM SORRY I WAS HALFWAY THROUGH MAKING IT AND I COULDN’T JUST LEAVE IT”)
you and hoseok hadn’t thought much about it to be honest
although you had talked about it a few weeks earlier
(“i like the name jiyun for a boy” hoseok had said one evening. the two of you had decided that honey should have a korean name like their daddy and you were a-okay with it!! for the sake of your family you were willing to give him or her an english name that you were still undecided on.
you tested out the name. “jiyun. jung jiyun. omg it sounds really cute! what does it mean!!”
“hmm it can mean many things usually, but its usually meaning happiness and posterity, soft sleekness.”
“oh, so it’s one of THOSE names where it has like three meanings.”
“yeah :D”
you laugh. “okay, and how about a girl?”
“how come I’M the one making the decisions???”
“i’m saying yes or no, i’m helping!!”
hoseok huffs and hugs you closer. “uhh, okay. well. me and yoongi had talked about this, and he agreed that yeojin is a cute name. jung yeojin. it means beautiful and precious.”
you...fall in love with that name
“ngl i kinda want honey to be a girl now.”
“omg just for the NAME??? thats cheap”)
you nod at guk sleepily
the room is actually sort of filled with people
because hoseok wrote a book and was on tv he’s Hashtag special
flat 18 are in the room rn because yoongi had to run to pick up namjoon and seokjin and your parents are still like. not ready or here
hoseok’s family couldn’t be here because they were vacationing in europe and their flight got cancelled
“jung yeojin!”
everyone is really satisfied with that name
“are you giving her an english name, too?” seunghee asks, sitting next to the bed with her finger tucked in yeojin’s grasp
you have this twinkle in your eye as you smile down at yeojin and then up at hoseok
“i think the name honey has quite a ring to it, don’t you think?”
hoseok can’t smile any wider holy fuck
“mhm. i couldn’t agree more.”
(seokjin and namjoon arrive later than expected, but seokjin cries as if he was there for the entire thing.)
this. took. so . long. to. upload. but. i . love /. it
+ for visuals and more info please visit here!!
#this fic is a monster teeheehee#btsguild#bts imagines#bts fic#bts#bangtan#jung hoseok#hoseok x reader#hoseok imagines#hoseok fic#hoseok smut#jung hoseok imagines#jung hoseok smut#jung hoseok fic#bullet fic#smut#expecting parents au#dad jung hoseok#dad!hoseok#jeongguk#jimin#haseul#seunghee#namjoon#seokjin#taehyung#loona#oh my girl#LOTS OF TAGS SORREEEE#honey
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Pairings: None
Genre: Is this angst? Idk if it is or not
Warnings: Death mentions, non-graphic mentions of violence/gore (descriptions of injury), spooky ghost talk
Summary: Logan hasn’t seen another human being in three years. Then Virgil moves in next door, and Logan is forced to confront his loneliness head-on, whether he likes it or not.
Notes: I know Halloween isn’t for a few days but I go back to school next week so happy Halloween everyone! This AU is so elaborate and I’m so invested now lmao. This is like 7.4k, jsyk so like, super long
Read on Ao3 Here
10
Logan steps out of the elevator. He lives alone on this floor; nobody else has been willing to live up here since the “hauntings” began. The statistical probability of ghosts is so low that Logan refuses to let himself be caught up in the hysteria. The flickering lights and shaking walls don’t deter him. The building has faulty lighting after all, and a weak foundation besides, and this apartment is centrally located to everywhere he needs to go in the city. As far as he’s concerned it’s just a normal apartment building with normal rooms, and the whereabouts of its other tenants are unimportant to him.
He walks towards his apartment and notices another person. He stops short. He’s about average size, wearing an oversized hoodie and large headphones. Maybe a student trying to find cheap rent. This place is less expensive than the dorms the city university provides. The guy looks in his direction, but his eyes completely skip over Logan, which is fine. He doesn’t want to make conversation anyway. They disappear into their respective apartments with a creak and a click of the lock, and the hallway is empty once more.
9
Logan is in the elevator. There are two people in it with him, a bubbly guy with a cardigan and a pompous-looking man with too much styling gel in his hair. They don’t pay him any mind, which is fine with Logan. He’s always been bad at small talk. The doors open and Logan is back on his floor. The other two follow him down the hall.
"This place looks like a haunted house,“ says the one with the cardigan, and the other groans as if the statement is an old and tired gag.
"You say that about every place we go,” he bemoans, and the one with the cardigan shrugs.
"Actually, there is a persistent rumor that this area is inhabited by some sort of sentient supernatural phenomenon,“ Logan interjects. "That’s why the population of this floor is meager, to say the least.”
They both jump and turn to look at him as if realizing for the first time he’s there.
"I- how did-“
"I’m Logan. I live on this floor. Would I be correct in saying you are here to visit this hall’s only other inhabitant, my neighbor?”
"Virgil?“
"We have not yet been acquainted.”
"Oh, well, we moved in here a few days ago. With Virgil. I’m Patton and this is my friend Roman.“ Patton looks unsure how to carry on the conversation as if he hasn’t had to introduce himself to people in a long time. "We all moved in together. It’s strange we haven’t seen you yet.”
"I’m away at work most of the day. I’m also busy with classes.“
They lapse into silence. Logan reaches his own door and Roman and Patton stop in front of Virgil’s.
"I guess we’ll be seeing you around, Logan,” Roman said, sounding somehow harsh even though Logan was sure he hadn’t done anything to offend them. They’d barely had a conversation.
"I suppose,“ he said and turned the key in his apartment. Three neighbors? What a hassle. He far preferred being alone.
"You should stop by sometime,” Patton says. “It gets lonely around here.”
"I hadn’t noticed,“ Logan says, voice a bit tighter than he intended. The walls of the apartment building groan. Patton’s eyes widen and he looks around nervously. Roman opens his mouth to speak but Logan turns away and goes into his own apartment.
He isn’t lonely. He isn’t. He’s busy, that’s all.
The walls stop groaning.
8
Logan stands at the door to Virgil’s apartment. He promised Patton he’d come by today. They discovered a few weeks ago that they both have a love of classics and Patton had insisted he come over to see his collection. He takes the detour across the hall and knocks on the door of what he still thinks of as Virgil’s apartment, and Patton answers, big smile in place.
Their apartment is the same size as his, but their apartment feels homier, more lived in. Patton has a bookshelf on the far wall of the living room, and they spend hours going over the books in it. Patton pulls out Ulysses and starts flipping through it.
"You’ve read Ulysses? It’s the height of literary pretention.”
"Oh, trust me,“ Virgil says, appearing out of nowhere to flop down next to Patton. "We have a lot of free time.”
"Do you?“ Logan eyes them suspiciously. "Virgil, I thought you were a student at the university.”
Virgil blinks. “I was. I…dropped out. I wasn’t that great at it.”
There’s more to this story than Virgil is saying, but Logan isn’t one for prying. Instead, he fixes his gaze on Patton.
"And what do you do?“
"Me? Oh…a bit of this and that.”
"Hmm.“ He drops the subject.
Logan browses through the shelves, running over titles hoping to find one he hadn’t read before. His fingers stop on The Kraus Project and pull it out, turning it over in his hands.
"That’s mine, actually,” Virgil says when Logan shows him the cover. “Roman recommended it.”
"Roman did?“ Roman reads? he didn’t say and started flipping through the pages. "I read this a while ago. The narrative style is dense but not unreadable.”
"Really?“ Virgil perks up. "What did you think of it?”
"Well, I thought that-“ Logan’s brain stops. He stumbles over his own words, tries again. "I think his criticism of digital culture, particularly in-” Like a computer unable to find a file, his thoughts freeze, and rewind.
"Logan, are you okay?“ Patton’s eyebrows are knit in concern, and he tries to say he’s fine but his mouth freezes around the words. Did he ever finish The Kraus Project? Of course he did. It never takes him more than a week to finish a book even at his absolute busiest, and he’d bought it…when had he bought it? Randomly, he starts flipping pages, speeding through the essays until he reaches somewhere in the middle when the words stop looking familiar. But he had to have read past this part, right? He remembers reading it, remembers buying it on a Tuesday, he was coming home from work at the bookstore, he was holding his page with his right hand and shifted the book to his left to open the door of his apartment and when he got inside-
"Logan!” Virgil calls, sounding panicked. The walls of the apartment groan. The lights flicker. The book falls from Logan’s hand and he is dissolving, dissolving, dissolving-
7
Logan is sitting on Patton’s couch. It is Patton’s couch, Logan’s been informed, as he’s the one who insists they bring it everywhere. They move around a lot, but they’re hoping to stay here because they like this part of the city.
"It’s very central,“ Virgil said once. "Easy know where you are.”
"Exactly,“ Logan agreed.
Virgil is sitting next to him now, and they’re sharing earbuds as Virgil thumbs through his phone and Logan skims through documents on his computer, searching for a particular article he needs for a reference. It’s easiest to exist like this with Virgil, simply taking up the same space but not speaking. He’s spent a lot of time at their apartment lately-more than he’s spent at his own.
It could be hours or minutes that pass, but after a while, Virgil sits up and removes his earbud from his ear.
"Do you believe in ghosts, Logan?”
"No.“ The answer is easy. "It’s highly unlikely.”
"Why do you say that?“ Virgil’s voice is careful, although Logan can’t imagine why. The statistical probability of ghosts is so low there’s no point wasting the thought. The idea that the spirit of something could be tethered to a physical artifact, the implication that living things even have souls, is too metaphysical to fully be determined through any degrees of natural science. Logan tells Virgil this, and Virgil’s mouth presses into a line. At first, Logan thinks he’s going to argue, but he doesn’t. He just shrugs and puts his earbud back in.
"Okay. I was just wondering.”
Something in his voice is tearing at Logan’s very existence but he says nothing and turns back to his computer. The heat of the laptop is less tangible, the air much thinner.
"Do you believe in ghosts, Virgil?“
Virgil lets out a breath that sounds like it’s been building for a hundred years. "I wish I didn’t.”
6
Logan steps out of the elevator. He’s increasingly tired these days and he can’t figure out why. He doesn’t think he’s working more than usual, but sometimes the stress gets to him. The increasingly frequent power outages aren’t helping on that front.
Roman knocks on his door a while later, shuffling awkwardly. He doesn’t talk to Roman much; he gets the feeling Roman doesn’t like him. Every time they’re in the same room Roman’s jaw sets in distaste. Logan almost peers around him to see if Patton is behind Roman egging him on, but he manages to refrain.
"Yes?“ he asks, not opening the door wider to let him inside.
Roman holds out a book. The Kraus Project. "Virgil said you’d mentioned this book before, but that you never finished it. A pity, it seems like something someone of your…sort would enjoy.”
"My sort?“ Logan takes the book and flips through it. The book is familiar, tugging at something in the corner of his mind, but it isn’t pressing enough for him to mind it.
"You know…” Roman waves his hand dismissively. “English teacher types.”
Logan resists the urge to immediately tell Roman to leave. “I’ll have you know I teach European history, not English of any kind.”
"Don’t you work in a bookstore?“
"Yes, that is correct, although there is little correlation between my chosen profession and my part-time job.”
"I- okay.“ Roman takes a steadying breath as if to stop himself from continuing. He looks almost pained. "Do you like working there?”
"Yes. I do. I appreciate the effort of my coworkers and the compendium of knowledge that surrounds me. Why?“
"No reason. I was just…wondering.” Roman seems to bite back more words, and he turns to leave. “Finish that book, alright?”
"Alright,“ Logan says by way of goodbye and closes the door. He puts the book on his counter and ignores the shiver that climbs up his spine. He’ll try to start on it tonight. If only he could remember where he’d stopped.
5
Logan is sitting at his desk, typing an essay. It’s habit to have the television on in the background while he works if only so he can glance at it every once in a while to feign interest in current events. Even better, when the sun sets, the TV provides enough illumination so as to eliminate the need to turn on a lamp. Logan is only absently paying attention to it, but the morning discussions on news and politics shift to daily reports, one of them being the baseball game the previous day. Logan looks up at the TV just as they show a clip of the game’s winning home run. The crack of the bat hitting the baseball echoes in his ears like a gunshot. Logan’s vision goes white. He shoots out of his desk and turns the TV off, the image of the bat swinging wildly still looping before his eyes.
He hates baseball.
It takes him until he’d calmed down to realize that the power has gone out. Wearily, he walked back to his desk to grab his phone and uses the flashlight to rummage around for candles.
There’s a knock at his door. He keeps his flashlight on when he goes to open the door and finds Virgil standing there, covering Logan’s phone with his hand and hissing angrily at him.
”-Trying to blind me?“ Virgil winces and blinks hard, trying to extinguish the lights in his eyes. Logan fumbles to turn the light off.
"Apologies, Virgil. Do you need something?”
Virgil sticks his hands in his pockets and angles around Logan to see into his apartment. “I was gonna check if you were okay, but based on your miniature Yankee Candle over there I’d say you’re fine.”
"I am. Are you three alright?“ Logan is surprised to find that he cares. It’s been so long since he’s had neighbors, so long since he’s had friends.
"Oh, yeah. We’re doing just great. I personally love the dark,” Virgil says and smiles. In the candlelight, Virgil’s face changes slightly, morphing and twisting just out of Logan’s focus. It feels a bit like water filling Logan’s lungs.
With a jolt, Logan realizes Virgil is still speaking.
"-and invite you to wait at our place until the power comes back on.“ Virgil rolls his eyes. "I told him you’ve lived here a long time and you’re used to it, but if you don’t want to upset him I’ll make up some excuse.”
Logan weighs his options. He could stay here in his own apartment and wait until the power comes on, which wouldn’t take more than an hour. Or he could go across to hall to Virgil’s apartment, which is somehow more lived-in than any room he’s ever been in, despite the fact they’ve only lived here for a few weeks. His laptop still had charge; he has essays to write, papers to grade. Yet Patton’s words twist in his chest, pulling him to the door across the hall: It gets lonely around here. But Logan isn’t lonely. He’s…he’s…
"No, it’s alright. I’ll come over. It’s more efficient for us to share light sources anyway. I’d rather not waste candles.“
Virgil’s eyebrow raises, and his lips quirk in a small smile. "Alright. Come on then. Patton was trying to bake something when I left and if I’m not there we won’t have an apartment by the time he’s done.”
Logan follows him, closing his apartment behind him. He starts to walk away without locking it, but a burst of fear shoots through him and he yanks the key from his pocket. Rationally, he knows no one would get in. No one ever comes to this floor except the four of them. He can’t be too careful, though. There are some risks he just isn’t willing to take.
4
Logan steps out of the elevator. He’s never been so tired. His whole body aches as if he’s been running nonstop for days. His own thoughts have started to twist on themselves, unraveling at the seams. It occurs to him to go to Virgil’s apartment, but he doesn’t want to bother any of them. The hallways groan sickeningly as if the building itself is sliding on its foundation. The sound of small animals and bugs line the halls. A door opens down the hall and Virgil’s voice calls, “Logan?”
"Go away,“ he hisses, but he has to walk toward Virgil to get into his own apartment. Halfway there, he stumbles, and Virgil catches him, lifting up his head to examine his face.
"You’re not well,” he declares, and slings Logan’s arm over his shoulder. They end up in Virgil’s apartment and Logan doesn’t even have the energy to complain. He collapses on the couch and cradles his head in his hands.
Voices whisper just out of earshot, and Logan can barely pay enough attention to make out snippets of what they’re saying. Roman’s voice is insistent, growing increasingly upset, and Patton’s tone is more serious than Logan has ever heard it. He catches his name somewhere in the hush of whispers and his heart leaps into his throat. He hopes they’re not fighting over him. He’d rather suffer alone than cause fights.
"Hey,“ Virgil says, his voice nearby. Logan opens his eyes and glances up to see Virgil offering him a glass of water. "Drink this.”
Logan accepts the water gratefully and takes small sips. Virgil sits down near him on the couch, but not close enough to suffocate him.
"I told Patton and Roman to be quieter,“ Virgil tells him. "It didn’t seem like the noise was helping.”
"I’m sorry,“ Logan feels the need to say. "I didn’t mean to incite conflict.”
"You didn’t incite anything. This was a long time coming.“
"Oh. If I may ask, what is the argument about?”
"Honesty,“ Virgil says, and that’s all he volunteers. Logan sips his water and doesn’t ask any more questions.
A few minutes later, Roman storms down the hallway and out the door of the apartment. Patton follows behind him, looking similarly irate, but he manages to collect himself when he sees Logan wan and exhausted on the couch.
"Hey, Logan. Virgil told us you were feeling a bit under the weather.”
"I’m feeling better now,“ Logan assures him, and he is. Now that he isn’t standing on his feet he feels more centered, and his thoughts are quieting. "It’s probably best I return to my own apartment now.”
“No.” Virgil and Patton speak at the same time, their voices similarly insistent. They make eye contact, and Patton clears his throat nervously.
"At least spend the night here to make sure you’re alright. You still look pale, and I’d feel terrible if we sent you back to your apartment alone when you were sick.“
"I don’t want to impose.”
"It’s not imposing if we’re offering, sport!“
Logan looks between Patton, whose encouraging smile is a thousand times brighter than the apartment’s cheap lighting, and Virgil, who’s nervously chewing his lip next to him on the couch, and tells himself that he’s doing this for them, not himself.
"Alright,” he says. “I’ll stay.”
Patton claps his hands together excitedly. “Terrific! I’ll get the spare blankets out of the closet!” And in an instant, he’s gone. Virgil rises from the couch and slips his phone into his pocket.
"I’d better go after Roman.“
"Will you be alright going alone?” Logan asks.
Virgil raises an eyebrow in challenge. “It’s broad daylight.”
"I’m aware of the time,“ Logan snaps, then takes a breath, steadies himself. "It’s just…things happen.”
Virgil’s expression softens a bit. “Trust me. Nothing’s gonna happen to me.”
Logan, for some reason, believes him.
3
Logan steps out of the elevator and wants to collapse on the floor of the hallway. He’s gotten worse over the past few days, much worse, but he hasn’t let the others notice. He doesn’t answer when they knock, he doesn’t stop at their apartment after work. Thinking of them seems to make the pain in his chest grow, and so he cuts them out. He’s eliminating variables, is all. He was alone once. He could do it again.
He drags himself to his apartment and fumbles with the key. It falls to the ground and Logan almost wants to give up and fall on his knees in the hallway. But he can’t do that. He can’t let his weakness overcome him like this. He summons the strength to pick up his key and make his way into his apartment, dumping his bag and books by the door as he stumbles in.
Logan doesn’t remember falling asleep, but when he comes back to himself he’s standing in his bedroom, and walls careening sickeningly around him. He presses the palms of his hands into his eyes and makes his way toward the kitchen, passing by the open bathroom door as he goes, then pauses, backpedals, finds his face in the mirror.
He’s pale. And not an ordinary pale. A sickly, unnatural pale, as if all the blood’s been sucked from his body. It reminds him of a skull, and that thought is so disturbing he actually stumbles back, averting his eyes from his own image. The sound of a baseball bat echoes in his head again, the hard crack! of a metal bat hitting not a ball but something more solid, something that hurts. Logan’s headache intensifies. His body feels less and less like his own.
Do you believe in ghosts? Virgil had asked him, and of course he said no because he didn’t. There was no evidence of ghosts, no proof, even considering it was asinine…
Bile rises in the back of Logan’s throat and he swallows it back down, continuing his trek to the kitchen. His eyes land on the book Roman handed him weeks again, The Kraus Project. Funny, he’d totally forgotten about it. Maybe that’s why he’d never finished it: the book is completely forgettable. He picks it up and thumbs through it, ignoring the shaking of his fingers, trying to find a starting point. A piece of paper slides out from one of the pages and lands on the ground. Maybe an old receipt, or a bookmark, Logan figures, and bends down to pick it up.
When he sees the words, his brain freezes, rewinds. It doesn’t make sense. On the paper, printed in full color, is a picture of him. Below it, in bold, is his name, and below that, a headline: ‘Third Victim in a String of Violent Break-Ins Found Dead Thursday’. Logan goes cold.
The article rattles off details in an orderly fashion, from the time the body was found to the suspected nature of the wounds. “Blunt force trauma to the head,” the article reads. “Found in the entryway of his apartment after he missed a day of classes”. Logan reads the article over and over, scans the picture, looks for anything that can prove this fake, make it seem like someone has tried to play a cruel trick on him. But he can’t find it. He sees the words but the information is cycled out of his head. He has to be misreading it. This has to be a mistake. The person in the photograph isn’t him, the article can’t be about him, none of it can be real because Logan is standing here reading this, he isn’t dead.
2
Logan barges into Virgil’s apartment without knocking. The piece of paper is clenched in his hands, which are shaking so hard he can hardly maintain his grip. No one seems surprised to see him. Virgil is staring at his knees, his face blank. Patton’s face is wracked with guilt as he looks at Logan standing there, breathless. Roman stands to the side, arms crossed, impatient. Logan turns to him now, and with more anger than he can remember feeling in his entire life, spits his accusation.
"Do you think this is a joke?“ Roman doesn’t react, which only makes Logan angrier. "Do you think this is funny?”
The apartment is dead silent. It’s stifling, oppressive. How had he ever lived so long in this quiet?
"I didn’t want to tell you,“ Virgil says, not meeting his eyes. "But Roman insisted wasn’t fair to you.”
"What’s not fair to me?“ Again, there is silence. Logan wants to rip his own hair out. "What are you all hiding from me?”
"Logan,“ Patton starts, voice soft and calm and all wrong. "You’ve been living here a long time, haven’t you?”
"I can hardly see how that’s relevant.“ His words are sharp and poisonous but Patton doesn’t bat an eye.
"How long have you been in this building?”
Logan bristles at the fact that he’s being ignored, but he’s far too tense for riddles and games. “Three years, maybe four. Why does it matter?”
"That newspaper is from about three years ago.“
"I’m aware. I can read.”
"Can you?“ Roman speaks up, and his voice is so emotionally heavy that Logan isn’t sure where to begin picking it apart. "What’s the date on that paper?”
Logan answers through gritted teeth. “November 20, 2014.”
"And what’s today’s date?“
"November 19, 20-” Logan stops, catches himself before he finishes the year. He does the math in his head. He’s lived in this building for three years, so it isn’t 2014 anymore. It can’t be. But that’s today’s date. That’s the date he’s been writing at the top of his papers for weeks, months.
Years.
"Sometimes, um, when a person goes through trauma, they can forget parts of their life.“ Patton is still talking far too slow. Virgil still isn’t looking at him, still picking at threads on his sweatshirt and Logan wishes he would please look up because Virgil is calm, objective. Virgil would stop Patton before he said anything too crazy, anything Logan couldn’t handle. But Virgil doesn’t look up.
"Yes, I’m familiar,” Logan says, even though it didn’t require a response. “Post-traumatic amnesia is particularly common with head wounds.” The phrase 'head wounds’ bounces around his head right next to the words 'blunt-force trauma’.
"And I’m sure it doesn’t escape your knowledge that death would be, generally, very traumatic.“
"I don’t know what you’re implying, but-”
"What’s the last thing you remember?“
Logan swallows and clenches his fists to stop them from shaking. "I don’t see why this information is relevant”
"Logan.“
"No! I don’t know what you’re trying to prove but I’m not the one being interrogated here!” Logan thrust the book in Roman’s direction, trying to turn his helplessness into anger before it completely overwhelmed him. “I know you’re the one who planted that false article and I’ll have you know that it’s as needless as it is sickening, and it’s beyond me what on Earth I did to you that made you feel the need to-”
"What did you do at work today?“
Logan’s brain short circuits. His mouth opens to say something, anything, but the words stick in his mouth and die before they reach his lips. Logan’s thoughts wind backward, unable to find answers to questions that should be simple. Still, Roman persists.
"You’re always grading papers, but for what assignment? Why don’t you ever finish grading those papers, Logan? How many people could possibly be in advanced European history?”
"Roman,“ Patton says quietly. "I think it’s best if you-”
"When was the last time you left this building, Logan? When was the last time you went further than the elevator?“ Roman’s face is red now, too, almost righteous in his stance as he stares Logan down, and Logan isn’t afraid of him but he shrinks from the onslaught of words. He squeezes his eyes shut but he can still see Roman’s eyes burning into him, his voice grating on his nerves like nails on a chalkboard. He’s willing himself to stay together, for his atoms to quiet and leave him whole because he needs to work through this, needs to prove to himself that his fears aren’t true, that this is all a mean-spirited trick because there’s no way that-
"Roman, stop,” Patton says, more forceful now. “This isn’t right.”
Roman turns to him, eyes still alight, and Patton winces slightly at the harshness of his gaze. “What isn’t right is leaving someone to suffer alone when I have the power to save them!”
"Not everyone needs saving, Roman. Sometimes it’s better to just leave things alone.“
"Oh, just like I should’ve left you alone when-”
"Both of you, stop.“ Virgil’s voice is quiet but it echoes through the apartment that seems both bigger and smaller than it did when Logan walked in. Objects flicker around them, like images on a television with bad reception. Logan stands frozen, hardly even daring to breathe. Virgil sighs and pushes his bangs out of his face, then looks over at Patton and Roman with disdain.
"This isn’t helping anything. You’re only going to freak him out more.”
Logan thinks about responding that he isn’t freaked out but Virgil fixes him with a hard stare and the words die in his mouth.
"Logan, you told me you don’t believe in ghosts?“
He knows he’s being walked into a trap but he swallows and nods.
"Would you believe me if I said I had proof?”
"It…it would have to be fairly convincing.“
Virgil gets off the couch and walks further into the apartment and returns with a box. He pulls off two more newspaper pages from under a stack, folded so precisely and delicately it appeared as though they hadn’t been touched in years, and sets them on the coffee table. Patton sucks in a breath and Logan opens his mouth to speak but Virgil, as if he could hear Roman’s mouth opening, shoots him a glare.
"You know there’s a right and a wrong way to do this,” Virgil says, admonishment clear in his tone. “Cruelty doesn’t suit you, Roman, nor you, Patton.”
Patton whimpers and steps back and Roman crosses his arms and turns away.
"Here,“ Virgil says.
Logan leans down to inspect the now unfolded pages, and again, it feels as though his brain is short-circuiting. Instead of his own face, it’s Virgil and Patton’s faces staring up at him from the wrinkled pages. Virgil’s name is printed in block letters under a picture of a smoking car wreck, the date on the picture over a decade past. Patton’s face is marred from the yellowed and cracked pages but Logan can still read the heavy sentiment of the obituary, how he was beloved by his family and classmates, how he’d returned glory to his soccer team, all of it written in the past tense, the date printed in the corner reads 1981 but the face in the picture looks the same as the one in front of him, as if he hasn’t aged, as if he is…
"Why would we keep fake articles of ourselves?” Virgil prompted, lacing his fingers in Logan’s shaking hands and squeezing hard. They were as cold as a corpse. “And you know these aren’t fakes.” Virgil’s face does that twisting thing again when it looks like him but also not at the same time. His skin seems paler, more sallow, the edges of his jacket are stained so so dark and getting darker by the second, the stain spreading as if from an unseen wound. The newspaper clipping in Logan’s hand feels heavy, so heavy, heavy enough to rip his arm from his socket. He’s holding a report of Virgil’s death, he’s holding his own obituary, but he could only be holding his own obituary if-
The statistical probability of ghosts is infinitesimally small. It’s useless to fear monsters that don’t exist, and ghosts don’t exist. Ghostsdon'texistghostsdon'texistghostsdon'texist-
2
Logan steps out of the elevator. Patton and Roman are in there with him. They are partially transparent, their faces blending into the steel doors. Logan looks down at his own hand. It’s also transparent, his skin sallow and pale. His fingers still tingle from Virgil’s handshake. It’s been a long time since he touched anyone.
2
Logan steps out of the elevator. The cobwebs in the corner of the halls are getting bigger. He opens the door to his apartment and dust billows out. The apartment is barren, dark, and dank. He wonders idly where all his stuff has gone, but it’s irrelevant. He has everything he needs.
2
Logan steps out of the elevator. He doesn’t have any work to do. He doesn’t have any time to waste. Time lost all meaning three years ago.
2
Logan steps out of the elevator. The elevator never went anywhere at all. It doesn’t come up this high anymore. Yet still, he returns to it, day after day, with the same blankness, the same meaningless drive.
2
Logan steps out of the elevator. It was a busy day at work. A customer came in demanding a book that wouldn’t be released until the following week, and the coffee shop was running behind, so all the office workers were testy. Logan had tried his best, but there was only so much he could so when no one wanted to listen to his suggestions. Exhausted, he walks towards his apartment, waving an absent hello to the man down the hall leaving for his night shift. He tries to be conscientious, even if the sentiment is empty. He may not be a good friend, but he’s an amicable neighbor. He sticks the key in the lock and finds that the door was already unlocked. Irrelevant, he told himself. I must’ve forgotten this morning. He opens the door.
Everything happens very fast, then.
There’s a man on the other side of the door, tall, hard-faced, remorseless. Logan enters and drops his books in shock. The man turns. Logan is frozen. He can’t reach for his phone. He can’t back out into the hallways.
"Hey kid,“ the man says, his voice like a car engine- rough and mechanical. "Maybe pretend you didn’t see a thing, huh?”
"I- what are you doing in my apartment?“ Logan says dumbly, thoughts whirring like a broken CD player.
And those are his last words. The man grabs him by the shirt and throws him into the wall. His head slams against the drywall and he slumps to the ground, stars popping in front of his eyes. The intruder lifts something long and metal-a baseball bat-high above his head. Before Logan can speak, think, dodge, it comes down. His head explodes in pain. He thinks he screams. His eyes never see the blood because they are already closed, he’s already falling sideways, Logan stands above his body, watching the blood color the walls, the floor, the pages of The Kraus Project, his ringing-phone…
1
He wakes in his apartment, in his bedroom, and he registers that this is the first time he’s truly woken up anywhere in the past three years. His head hurts, but compared to before, this subtle ache is nothing. Even before he opens his eyes he knows he is being watched. He sits up and sees Virgil sitting at his desk in the corner of the room, scrolling through some feed on his phone.
Virgil’s eyes flicker up at the movement, but his expression doesn’t change when he sees Logan is awake.
"How are you feeling?” Virgil asks as if he’s recovering from a cold and not the crushing memory of his own demise.
"I don’t know,“ Logan says, and he doesn’t. He honestly has no idea how he feels. He only knows he can’t think his way out of this one, not this time.
"You’re taking this surprisingly well. At least, apart from your whole freak out last night, but that was warranted.”
"What happened?“
"You destabilized.”
"I don’t-I don’t know what that means.“
Virgil sets his phone down on his knees and leans forward. "It takes a lot of energy to maintain a form like this, to affect objects in the real world. Up until now, your denial has kept you in a partially physical form, but when you realized the truth, you went into shock, and the reality you’d built around yourself dissolved. All the ghost activity, the lights, the noises? Every time something triggers, or almost triggers, the memory of your death, it conflicts with your conviction that you’re alive, and your energy can’t handle that.”
Logan wants so badly to say that that doesn’t make sense, but he doesn’t have the right to question the legitimacy of anything anymore. He feels smaller and weaker than he’s ever felt. Death is the only thing he can’t think his way out of.
"Are you also dead? All three of you?“
"Yeah. That’s why we were so surprised you could see us. I honestly thought you were alive for a while. You’re very corporeal.”
"I- I’m sorry, I don’t follow. How could I die and then not remember it? How can I have no memory of time passing but still talk to you three every day? I don’t-“ Frustration boils in him, but a wave of nausea pushes it back down.
"Easy,” Virgil says. “You’re not ready to manifest anything else right now. But to answer your question, you were caught in a loop.”
"A loop?“
Virgil tsk’s. "Roman is better at explaining this than I am,” he mumbles, then louder adds, “Okay. So if a ghost is a collection of a person’s energy, we can imagine that like a CD. It should play through with no interruptions. So, a ghost on loop is a scratched disk. It’ll reach one part right near the end where it’s scratched, and just keep repeating that part over and over as it tries to figure out how to process a scratched readout. Your death is the scratch. You went into shock and couldn’t process it, so you just repeated the previous day over and over, so you wouldn’t have to deal with it.” He stops suddenly and glances at Logan hesitantly. “Does that make sense?”
"Yes, actually, it does.“ Virgil sags with relief.
"Good. As for the talking to us part: ghosts can enter the loops of other ghosts, but only as much as they’re allowed. That’s why we never went into your apartment. Roman giving you the book, which was deleted from your memory, led to your rising instability which was probably his goal.”
"Is that why he never liked me?“ Logan asks, unsure of what he means by that. Virgil seems to understand because his face becomes impossibly even more serious. He chews his lip, as if debating how to start, or if he should start.
"Patton died in 1981 and looped for seven years. Roman was the one who pulled him out. It was…bad. Really bad. I don’t know the full story but..Patton didn’t take well to being dead. He almost corrupted completely when Roman pulled him out, and Roman blames that on the seven years Patton spent in his delusion. Roman still tries to pull everyone he can out of their loops, but Patton thought you were…happy enough. But when we realized it was you causing the power outages and the shaking in the walls, Roman was afraid you’d become corrupt, so we pulled you out by force.” Virgil is silent for a while before continuing quieter. “I’m sorry about that by the way. Feeling your soul leave your body isn’t great.”
Logan stares at the wall above Virgil’s head. A thousand emotions flutter through him at once and he doesn’t have the knowledge or energy to identify and deal with them all. He wants to lie back down and go to sleep, and never wake up, and be dead if he was going to be dead. Was that all this had been? Three altruistic ghosts making him their pet project? Would they move out once they decided he wasn’t going to go feral? Would he have to keep living in this apartment, in the apartment he’d died in, and keep being irrevocably and undeniably lonely? An ache in his chest starts up to match the one in his head, and he considers ignoring it, but he’s tired of being in pain.
"Was that all this was?“ he asks. "You pulled me out because of Roman’s hero complex?” As he says it, he braces himself for the answer, prepares to hold himself together until Virgil leaves. But Virgil’s eyes widen, and his eyebrows disappear into his hair.
"No! No, that’s not it at all. I would- we would- loop or not, we care about you. Even Patton would’ve given in eventually. Every day you appeared over again in the elevator…hurt. I wasn’t sure how much more of it I could take.“
It wasn’t much, but it was declaration he could believe.
"Alright,” Logan says, brushing his hair from his face.
"Alright?“ Virgil asks, voice an octave higher than normal.
"I don’t know what else to say. This is so far beyond me.” The crack! of the baseball bat plays again, like a video on repeat, and Logan finds he is milliseconds away from hysterics. “This is so far beyond me.”
"Well, look at the bright side,“ Virgil says, his voice even and low. "You’ve got as much time as you need to figure it out.”
0
Logan sat on Patton’s couch, surfing articles on his laptop while Patton and Virgil tried to bake something in the kitchen. The mechanics of both activities were lost on him, but he learned not to question how things work.
"I no longer even own this laptop. The intruder stole all my valuables,“ Logan insisted, staring at the laptop that miraculously had not vanished with the rest of his illusion. His apartment had reverted back to the dusty, dank, abandoned hole that it was, along with the rest of the hall, and the rest of the building, which, as it turned out, did have faulty wiring and a bad foundation and was scheduled for demolition within the next six months. What Logan couldn’t figure out is why his laptop wasn’t dying with his denial.
"I mean, it’s not your real laptop,” Roman pointed out. “It’s a psychic manifestation of your laptop.”
"Then how is it connected to the internet? How am I getting real news?“
"Psychic wifi?” Virgil suggested. Logan glared at him and he grinned.
"Don’t question it, Logan,“ Roman said exasperatedly. "I have no idea how you, a ghost, sitting on a ghost couch in a ghost room, is using a ghost laptop. I don’t want to know. I can’t have an existential crisis when I no longer exist, Logan.”
So Logan cut back on his questions, Roman worked on his temper, and Patton was very excited that things were finally settling into place.
"Roman hasn’t had to deal with a newbie since 2006,“ Patton said once, nearly vibrating with excitement. "I’d forgotten how entertaining it was. You should’ve seen him when we met Virgil.”
"Virgil was too nonchalant about being dead,“ Roman complained. "He didn’t care at all about the gravity of the situation.”
"What gravity?“ Virgil asked, muted old resentment burning in his eyes. "I’m already dead. What could possibly be more distressing than that?”
Not much, Logan was finding out. He didn’t appear daily in the elevator anymore, which raised quite a few more questions, all of which Virgil denied looking into.
"I know you’re like, a smart guy,“ Virgil told him. "But trust me. It’s better if you don’t think about it too much. Move forward.”
"Until when?“ Logan asked, not even bothering to hide his upset.
"Until there’s nowhere else to go.”
So they went, the four of them, slowly, carefully.
Logan never finished The Kraus Project. It wasn’t worth the read anyway. He was still overly-conscientious of locking doors, despite the fact that the building was condemned and they were ghosts who could neither die nor accumulate material possessions. The others never said anything about his locks and keys, and even though they could easily bypass them they all went through the effort of unlocking and re-locking every single one. He still couldn’t stand baseball, still couldn’t deal with the sound of metal slamming against a heavy object, but soon he wasn’t shaking apart, literally or metaphorically. Soon, dying seemed like the past, rather than the constantly-looming present.
Five months later, the building went down. Logan watched from the sidewalk as the wrecking ball laid the building to waste.
"Where to now?“ Virgil asked, pulling up a map of the US.
"How about Nevada? We’ve never been to Nevada,” Patton suggested
"You hate the heat,“ Roman reminded him, looking at the decimated apartment building with mild distaste.
"Well, what about New Mexico?”
Roman made a disapproving sound. “You’re getting even worse.”
Virgil, hiding his smile behind his notes, looked up at Logan. “What do you think? Where do you wanna go?”
Logan tried and failed to hide his shock. “Me?”
"Who else?“ Virgil said at the same time Patton said, "Of course! Did you think we’d leave you here? Don’t be ridiculous, Logan.”
Against his will, a warm swirl started forming in Logan’s chest. He cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses. “I see. Well then, if you’re looking to escape the heat, I’d suggest going to Montana.”
"Montana?“ Roman looked as if his heart was about to burst.
"Small population sparsely spread out, plenty of older and unused buildings- it’s the perfect hiding spot.”
"Also a lot of ghost bears,“ Patton piped in.
"There’s no such thing as ghost bears, Patton.” Logan admonished.
Virgil choked on his gum. “Are you actually kidding me right now?”
"No, I’m with Encyclopedia Brown,“ Roman said, voice wavering in misery. "I think I have the authority to say I’ll believe it when I see it.”
#sanders sides#sanders sides fic#logan sanders#virgil sanders#logan sanders angst#i finally finished it#this AU is so elaborate omg pls ask me about it i'm dying#i've never seen the sixth sense but i did my best lmao#loop au
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WIP MEME
was tagged by the lovely @beautifulkingzayn -- can’t wait to read all the things you’re working on! (that stripper!zayn fic and the blue is warmest color au sound especially interesting!)
the rules are thus: list all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever.
oh god.
so. i have a shit ton of things i’m working on simultaneously...
(it’s a tiny part of the reason, among many others, that i take such long breaks from the twelve fic cause half the time i get caught up working on other shit and then i’m like wait no gotta get back to twelve it’s been way too long lol smh)
but anyway the main thing at the moment, as many of you all know and as i’ll probably ramble on about for way too long is the twelve fic, which is sort of a winter soldier au, or at least that’s what it was inspired by anyway but it’s kind of deviated so much from that and taken on such a life of its own at this point that idk if it can even really still be considered an au of that verse anymore but it features zayn as a brainwashed assassin who goes by the name twelve after being kidnapped and having all of his memories wiped when he was a kid. it’s super triggery and basically involves every bad or horrible thing you could imagine happening to a person happening to zayn at some point until (by chance) he encounters liam, his childhood best friend, who he doesn’t remember in the middle of a bank heist and then later gets assigned to monitor liam b/c the person behind the whole brainwashing child assassin program, aka the director, is a sick fuck. cue liam freaking out and trying to do everything he can to help zayn but having no clue what he’s doing and the other boys finding out and pitching in to help too, along with some interesting side characters both original and non-original. okay i’ve gone on about this fic long enough, onward to the mountain of other ficlets i’m working on smdh…
a sex pollen fic set in 2015 (shortly after zayn left the band) wherein liam gets drugged (sort of) by a fan while out and about in LA with zayn and thinks he’s just coming down with something/getting sick till they get back to zayn’s house and liam ends up begging zayn to fuck him while zayn tries to be the good guy and resist and not take advantage of a naked, drugged out liam
a peter pan ziam/ot5 au featuring zayn as peter, liam as wendy, harry, louis & niall as the lost boys, little mix as fairies, simon as captain hook, and dan wooton (ugh sorry i fucking hate his name so much) as smee (also a name i hate so it works lol), still debating on the mermaids…might make one of them t-swift and maybe throw kendall and gigi in too (and possibly throw in cheryl as part of hook/simon’s pirate crew idk?)…and i also haven’t settled on anyone for tiger lily yet either but i’m open to suggestions for that too if anyone wants to throw someone’s name in the hat. anyway it should be a wild ride if i ever finish it, but got writer’s block shortly after writing the first few scenes and tried to come back to it twice but just couldn’t figure out where to go from where i left off so we shall see…
what else? um…a super angsty bottom liam bdsm ziam fic set during the wwa tour
a drabble wherein liam has a secret voice kink and gets off to zayn’s m.o.m album when he’s home alone
a weird ass fairly oddparents inspired au where liam is basically timmy and zayn keeps coming home to find new stuff in their house and vague explanations as to where they came from (should be posted soon i think)
part three of my outlaws series, which is a ziam prohibition era au series with lots of friendly ot5 feels and some struggles with period-typical homophobia and racism, featuring zayn as a bad boy bootlegger, liam as a good church-going small town boy (at first anyway), louis as a pimp, and niall and harry as his rent boys; in the part i’m currently working, part three, zayn and liam end up going back to liam’s hometown and liam has to grapple with the demons he left behind, including facing his parents (mainly just his mom) who he hasn’t seen in over two years and some of the shitty townsfolk he used to be friends with
there’s also a half-finished ziam five times plus one drabble that got shortened to a four times plus one (and honestly may end up getting shortened to three plus one just so I can get off my ass and finish it because it’s been half done for going on like eight months now and it’s honestly ridiculous smh) but anyway it was originally supposed be the five/four times zayn and liam woke up in bed together and it didn’t mean anything/was just friendly (supposedly) and the one time it meant more
and then there’s the main one that’s taking up my time lately (besides the twelve fic) and that i’m hoping to be ready to start posting soon as well, a slave!liam ot5 fic where the other four come home to their shared flat to find a box with a live boy inside (liam) sent to them by way of a secret organization that calls themselves modest and deals in underground human trafficking, training people to be servants and then shipping them off to groups of people/families whose needs they feel the slave’s skills would match best…it shares a lot of similarities with my twelve fic (in terms of the whole forced servitude thing, brainwashing, and a secret underground org that deals in kidnapping and human trafficking and monitoring people and all that) which was completely unintentional because i actually started writing it around like three years ago now and had completely forgotten about it up until a few months ago when i found it again at the bottom of one of my folders while in the middle of working on twelve and was like holy shit why do i keep writing things like this lmao but then decided to continue it anyway and i’ve been working on it piecemeal ever since and not sure when it’ll be ready to post cause the beginning still needs a lot of work, but hopefully it won’t be too much longer cause I’m really curious and excited to see what people think of it and am kind of anxious/antsy to post it lol
oh and i also have an original fic i’ve been working on kind of piecemeal too, a super angsty fic about an incubus who hates being an incubus and basically tortures himself with sleep deprivation to keep himself from using his powers while also trying to deal with the trials of high school, his abusive father, his asshole of a step-brother (who’s also a siren) and being gay, but ends up falling in love and being forced to kind of come to terms with himself…also kind of delves into what makes someone a monster and how we perceive and define ourselves, and the whole monsters vs. humans debate and which ones are the “real” monsters, etc.
so yeah that’s pretty much it for the most part but i do also have a whole doc full of plot bunnies for like a million other fics (mostly ziam and ot5, but also a few original ones) that may at some point in the future get fleshed out and posted…if i ever get around to finishing the ones i listed here first…le sigh i am a problem child...so sorry this dragged on as long as it did but hopefully out there finds these at least mildly interesting and isn’t completely put off by the fucking dissertation i just wrote about my stupid wip’s
anyway, thanks again @beautifulkingzayn for the tag! tagging @doveziam, @zipplekink, @wlwharrie, and @ohthathurt and i know there’s probably a bunch of other people i could tag but my brain is farting at the moment and i can’t think of anyone else, if anyone sees this though (if anyone even bothers to read it lol) and feels up to joining in even if you weren’t tagged, feel free to participate! i’d love to see what everyone else is working on! (and apologies if you’ve already been tagged or just don’t feel up to doing this)
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