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garfunklefield · 3 months

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can you write fem reader x geto fluff (or smut if you want) about going to the beach

Lime Lemonade

Fem!reader/Suguru Geto Warnings: fluff, crack, this is not serious, the reader IS babysitting Gojo, they're in college maybe 1st or 2nd year? Gojo is a gay twink who is 5'4 SORRY, Geto is definitely canon height, Suguru has a tattoo, beach house, drinking and smoking, cuddling by a fire, love confession, mutual pining Word count: 3139 DESC: Satoru Gojo your rich classmate invites you out to his beach house!!

I actually love this so much and I've definitely taken inspiration from another fic which I can't find but if anyone knows or suspects comment and I'll gladly give the credit!

Link to my Ko-fi to support me!

Requests and ASKS are open!

You made Suguru so unbelievably nervous. The way you bit your pencil as you stared at the whiteboard deep in thought. Or how your eyes always lit up when someone asked you about your interests. It made his heart flutter. You were one of the most perfect girls he had ever met even if you didn’t think so. You had soft hair and kind eyes. He didn’t want to admit that he also liked you for other reasons. He’s a guy okay?? And sometimes they stare!! Suguru hated himself for looking over your body when you got up to sharpen your pencil. You didn’t wear very tight or revealing things, but he still found himself looking at your big hips and stomach as it peaked out through your top.

That morning he was hanging out with his true best friend, Satoru. They had known each other since elementary school and frankly, they were attached by the hip. So it wasn’t a surprise to Suguru when his friend mentioned the fact he’d have a beach house all to himself for a whole week out of their summer vacation.

“You have to come!” Satoru threw his head back, with a blunt hanging from his bottom lip, “I don’t wanna go alone Suguruuuuuuu,” he called, glancing over to see an annoyed look from his best friend.

“I’ll go, just who exactly would be going with us?” He raised an eyebrow. Satoru sat up and pulled the blunt from his lips, exhaling the cannabis smoke in the direction of Suguru.

The raven-haired male frowned and used his hand to fan away the excess smoke as Satoru answered, “Me, you, her.” And his heart dropped. Satoru invited … you? You! Of all people! He knew exactly how you made him feel and he knew how Suguru thought about you. He knew all of the perverted and wholesome details of his infatuation with you.

“Toru, you can’t be serious,” Suguru frowned.

He laughed, taking a slow inhale before speaking, “You need to get over this BS and confess already. I don’t want to keep having to hear you complain about boners in class,” Satoru shrugged, pushing his circular sunglasses up on the bridge of his nose.

Suguru blinked a few times, going to protest. But he couldn’t. He wanted you to come. He wanted to see you in a bathing suit and watch as the water made your breasts shine in the sun. He wanted to see your hair wet and clinging to the back of your neck. He wanted to see your stomach and your ass and your hips and -god- your thighs.

“See! You’ll confess, I’ll cheer, then you two go up and do straight people sex…” Satoru thought for a moment, “Butt stuff? You don’t wanna make her pregnant.” And with that Geto promptly smacked him upside the head.

Suguru arrived at the beach house before you, thankfully. He sat on the floor of the main corridor with his best friend, beer in hand, as they both waited for you. The air conditioning was on full blast but it still wasn’t enough. Satoru had already stripped since he had no sense of boundaries, into his boxers. But Suguru was terrified to show any more skin than necessary in front of you. In swimming shorts was one thing, but his underwear? He decided he’d rather be a hot sticky mess than show off against his twinky counterpart.

You arrived an hour later, in a pretty pink sundress. It was clear you were wearing something else underneath like a bathing suit, as the dress was a bit too large for you. It hung off your body and showed off the sides of your swimsuit, which was a deep red color. Satoru jumped up and waved his arms in the air, already a bit tipsy.

“I’m so glad you made it!” He shouted, even though you were pretty much in earshot, standing right next to him.

“Yeah. You have a lovely home,” you smiled sheepishly, a bit of pink gloss shining in the sunlight from one of the windows. Suguru caught himself staring at your lips and quickly turned his attention to his cold beer.

“...What,” Satoru blinked a few times.

“You have a lovely home!” You replied a bit louder.

“I’m not gonna sleep with you!” Satoru yelled, cupping both hands over his mouth, “I’m a homosexual! I like penis!”

Your eyes widened and then you turned your attention to his best friend, furrowing your brows together, “How much has he had to drink?”

Suguru tilted his head to the side to look at the cans littering the floor. Maybe he was a little bit more than just tipsy, “A few.”

“A few too many,” you smiled, shaking your head, “I’ll be upstairs, then maybe we can go swimming?” You suggested, looking at Suguru. He looked up at you and pressed his lips together, before flashing you his signature smile. It could make anyone’s heart just melt. His head tilted to the side and his eyes closed, before he smiled gently. Then he nodded, signaling he heard you. With that, you promptly went upstairs to put your stuff down in a spare bedroom.

“Satoru,” Suguru opened his eyes after a moment and looked at his friend who was jogging over to the back door, leading to the pool, “S… where are you-” He sighed loudly, before getting up and following his friend.

“Can we go to the beach?” Satoru looked back at him and wiggled the doorknob a few times, not entirely realizing it had been locked, “The house is on the beach so it’s such an easy walk! C’mon!!!! C….MON!!!!” He started to pull at the doorknob, bracing both hands on the knob and one foot against the door.

“Satoru. It’s locked,” he sighed and grabbed his friend's shoulder. The white-haired twink looked over at him and frowned, letting Suguru unlock the door for him, “We can go to the beach, we just need to wait for her,” he motioned to the stairs with his head but it seemed to fall on deaf ears as Satoru was already outside.

“H..SATORU!” Suguru shouted, coming outside to chase after him, “Can’t you stay still for two seconds?!”

You finished getting ready, tying your hair up into a loose bun and taking off your pink sundress. Underneath was a dark red two-piece bathing suit, that tied in the back and on the sides. It was cute but revealing. But you trusted the two of them enough to wear something like this in front of them. By the time you got down to the living room, both of the boys were gone. The faint shouting and open back door left you to believe they had already made a B-line for the beach.

It was so nerve-racking being around Suguru in this way. You’d never seen him just sitting on the floor in nothing but a tattered tank top and swimsuit bottoms. Satoru, it didn’t bother you as much to see him in his boxers. He was gay after all so you didn’t see him as an option. But Suguru? He was hot beyond belief! Anyone in their right mind would want a guy like that! Not to mention the rumor going around that he was completely hung.

You shook that thought out of your head and marched outside, to see Suguru and Satoru playing in the sand in the distance. They hadn’t noticed you yet, both of them now in just their swim trunks. Satoru’s seemed to have some kind of Digimon pattern whereas Geto’s was purely dark blue. His hair was down from its usual bun, showing off the shaggy cut and … did he have a tattoo? You found yourself staring at the ink on his chest and promptly falling - and eating shit - in the sand in front of them.

Satoru turned and began to cackle loudly at seeing you sit up, spitting out clumps of sand. Suguru stared at you for a moment, before covering his mouth to laugh as well. It was a charming laugh, rather than his friend's unruly cackle. He sounded so … beautiful.

You frowned and sat back on your palms, before using your arm to wipe off the remaining sand on your cheek, “It’s not funny.”

“You’re covered!!!! Pfft!” Satoru giggled in between his roaring fits of laughter. You rolled your eyes and watched as Suguru came up behind his best friend. Two big arms wrapped around the small twink and picked him up, “HELP! SUGU PUT ME DOWN IM FRAGILLLEEEEEEE!” He whined, almost like a little girl, flailing his thin arms around for some way to get out of his best friend's arms.

You smiled and stood up, dusting off the remaining bits of sand from your chest and ass. The white-haired boy was then promptly thrown into the water, his ass sticking up in the air and his face sunken deep in the sand. Suguru looked back at you and clasped his hands together, “How are you?” He asked, tilting his head to the side as he always did.

“I’m fine. Is Satoru going to be okay?” You asked, looking over to see Satoru unmoving in the water. His friend just shrugged and waved you off, turning to point to the horizon.

“He’ll be fine. Look at this view, though. Isn’t it beautiful?” He spoke gently, just as if he was reciting a poem. Every single word Suguru murmured was beautiful just as his face. God, he was perfect. And god you wanted to touch the dragon tattoo on his chest.

“Is that new?” You looked at him with raised eyebrows, motioning to the aforementioned tattoo.

“No-no, I’ve had it for a bit. I guess you’ve never seen me shirtless before,” he nodded, looking down at his chest. You couldn’t notice, or maybe you just didn’t want to notice, but his whole body was on fire. His cheeks were burning just from being this close to you and the fact you pointed out his tattoo? It means you were looking at his body. You were admiring him. And then you spoke to him about it. God he just wanted you to run your hands up and down his chest, giving him goosebumps.

“Yeah. I want a tattoo. I’m not sure where though,” you replied, smiling as you spoke, “I wanted a snake!” Your smile widened into a grin, creating lines against your cheeks and creases in your eyes. All the while in the background, Satoru had gotten up from the water and hacked up all the sand he swallowed. Then he scurried off to make a sandcastle, as one does after having three beers.

“Well…” Suguru looked you over in a very obvious humorous way, stupidly narrowing his eyes just to make you laugh. You giggled and covered your mouth as he continued, “It would look great on… may I?” He reached his hand out, motioning to your hip.

You didn’t notice his hands shaking from the throbbing of your heart in your eardrums. A gasp flew out from your lips and you felt your body fill with electricity. You really wanted him to touch you. You really needed him to touch you. You nodded and the raven-haired male brushed his hand on your waist, before moving his hand down your hip.

“Here… to here,” he mumbled, trailing down your hip to your mid-thigh, “A large snake with your body type would be really… um, nice.” He smiled awkwardly, laughing a bit to hide his embarrassment.

“Your hands are soft,” you spoke too soon, meaning to say something completely different than that. You stiffened when his hand began to trace small circles with his fingers against your skin, Suguru now crouched on the ground and looked up at you with big eyes.

“Oh. Am I making you uncomfortable?” A frown beckoned at his lips and he went to retract his hand, but you caught his wrist and brought it back up to your hip.

“No. Suguru… I like you…r hands. I mean- I, you know..I think you’re nice and your hands are nice- but like- I-” God talk about word vomit. Your cheeks were a bright red, burning intensely as you continued to ramble and babble about something and nothing at the same time. But you didn’t see Suguru was in the same state. His face was burning intensely, probably more so than yours. And all he could focus on was the fact that his hand was still on your hip with your hand over the top of it.

God! Be bold! He told himself. Do something!! He had spent so much time liking you, what else did he have to lose? Maybe your rambling was a clue that you actually liked him back. Maybe the way your cheeks flushed and your bottom lip jutted out was a cue that you liked him how he liked you. There was only one way for him to find out and he had to try. He had to … be bold.

“I like you,” Suguru breathed out, staring at you. His other hand wrapped around your other hip and pulled you in closer, with his chin now resting on your lower stomach. Then he pulled you closer and wrapped your legs into a hug. You gasped and put your hands into his hair, to steady yourself. My god, it was soft. His hair was softer than you could’ve imagined.

“Suguru…” You bit on your bottom lip and looked down at him. He slowly adjusted himself to rest on his knees, his head on your stomach, “You do?”

“I-” Just as he went to reply the two of you heard a loud shriek coming from the drunken man-child known as Satoru Gojo. You turned your head to see him running towards you guys, with an angry crab following him.

“HELPHELPHELP HE’S GONNA GET MEEEEEE!” He screamed, waving his arms around and hopping as if he was going mad.

Suguru sighed and stood up, leaving you to deal with his best friend. You couldn’t help but stare at him as he picked him up with ease, with your head ringing. He liked you? He liked you… Suguru Geto liked you.

A few hours had passed since he almost … well basically confessed to you. You sat down by a bonfire a now somewhat sober Satoru had made, with the help of a very sober Suguru. You stared deep into the flame as the world began to turn dark. The sky was a shade of pink, turning orange, and then yellow. The rest of the blue had disappeared and turned purple-ish pink. Hues you loved and adored. It made Satoru’s hair and eyes practically glow (even though let’s be honest it was lowkey kind of creepy). And it made Suguru look sculpted. He looked like a statue as he sat across from you, with the bonfire in between.

His face looked solemn. You two hadn’t had a chance to speak alone since Satoru came screaming from a crab. You weren’t even sure how to speak to him now. You weren’t uncomfortable, you were nervous. You wanted his touch again, you wanted his embrace, and you wanted to hear his voice. But he hadn’t spoken in a bit, and neither had you. Instead, Satoru’s voice filled the air as he sang to himself.

“Guys, you wanna watch something inside?” He asked, taking a sip of some drink concoction he had made in his big kitchen. You shook your head and instead motioned to the fire, signaling you were too cold and too entranced. It was beautiful how it danced in contrast to the world around it. And especially the man behind it. The fire lit up Suguru’s features and made him look utterly marbled.

“I’ll keep her company. I can join you in a bit, Satoru,” Suguru looked over at him, smiling small as he spoke. He looked tired. You just wanted to run your hand along his cheek and smooth out those wrinkles beneath your fingertips.

Satoru shrugged and said his goodbyes, before frolicking off to the house. You watched him walk away and turned your attention back to the fire, to see Suguru was gone. A frown pulled at your lips and you felt the weight shift in the couch you were seated at. He sat beside you, watching the fire with a tired expression.

“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. I can see it in your face,” he spoke gently, leaning his elbows against his knees. The towel wrapped around your shoulders tightened as you tensed. You weren’t uncomfortable in the slightest. But you guessed the nerves had to have been confused for an uncomfortable aura in his eyes.

“I’m not uncomfortable,” you mumbled, looking at him. His face stayed the same as you continued, “I like you. And your hands. And your face. And… your tattoo,” your voice trailed off, and as did your eyes, to the fire.

A large arm wrapped around your shoulders and gently pulled you toward Suguru’s side. He let out a breath and out came a faint chuckle. It looked as though a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He didn’t make you uncomfortable and he didn’t fuck this up. He still had a chance with you. That’s all that mattered to him, was being able to love you.

“Does this mean we’re going out now?” He raised an eyebrow, not taking his eyes away from the embers flicking out from the flame onto the concrete.

You nodded, leaning your head against his shoulder blade, letting it fall to rest against his neck. He tensed for a moment, but then leaned his head against your own, taking in your scent. You smelt like the sea, mixed with your perfume. It was vanilla, or maybe candy-scented? It reminded him of cotton candy and the color pink, just like the sunset that was fading in the distance. Suguru didn’t smell too bad himself, a mix of husky cologne and salt water.

One of your hands trailed from your lap to his chest, your head turning to watch as one finger traced the tattoo. Just as you wanted. You just wanted to feel the ink underneath your fingertips and see him tremble. Suguru froze and leaned into your touch, seeking the warmth and pleasure only you could give him at that moment. This was more intimate than kissing, than sex. Just the act of touching each other in a way that made you both yearn for more. Even though, yes he wanted so badly to kiss you, this felt better.

Who knew all it took was one day and a bit of confidence for Suguru to confess to someone as beautiful as you?

#getou suguru x you #jjk suguru #getou suguru x reader #jujutsu kaisen suguru #geto suguru #jjk geto #getou x reader #geto x reader #jujutsu geto #x reader fluff #x reader #jjk x reader #gojo saturo #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #garfunklefield writing

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imnotasuperhero · 8 months

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Turn your sadness into a rainbow.

Wanda Maximoff x Reader.

Summary: When your daughter is feeling down, you make it your mission to cheer her up. And if it's with the help of your wife, much better.

A/N: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SIMPLE DRABBLE! But once again, my muses came up with the extended version. So here you have day 3 of Promptober. Hope you enjoy this quick fic.

The closing of the front door had you looking up from your task at hand, sending Wanda a sheepish smile.

"Hello, my love," you greeted her as you extended your arms, waiting.

"Someone is way too happy at… 6:30 am," the brunette raised her sculpted eyebrow as she wrapped her arms around you. "What are you plotting?"

Allowing her to take a look at the scattered colored crayons and the unfinished project in front of you, you leaned against her side, sighing softly. "Ailin was feeling sad last night because you had to rush to work, so I thought about cheering her up." You smiled at the kiss on your cheek.

"What are we working on?" You could hear the confusion in her voice.

"Remember how back in elementary school we did the black painted sheet that showed different colors when you scrapped at it?"

"Sometimes I think you're too good to be true, even if I have no idea your way of thinking." Wanda smiled softly as she grabbed a yellow crayon and started to doodle on the white sheet.

"Just wait and see."

After a few more minutes, you both inspected the work of art and decided it was adequate for a 5-year-old before you covered the colorful drawings in black.

"I was thinking," Wanda broke the comfortable silence as you shared a cup of tea before the chaos of the day busied your day. "We could ask for Nat's cabin? I think it'll be good for the three of us to reconnect as a family?"

Hearing the guilt in Wanda's voice, you couldn't help frowning. "Don't get me wrong, I love the idea. But what's wrong?" You placed the empty cup down before moving to Wanda's chair, straddling her lap.

Sighing, she placed her arms around your waist. "I feel like I'm missing out on her life," the woman blinked rapidly twice, thrice, before she cleared her throat. "And once she knows about the baby," the tear rolling down Wanda's cheek had your thumb brushing it away with a softness you only held for your girls. "And the fact you have to take care-"

Cupping her face, you kissed her wet eyes before you smiled calmly. "She might be young, but she knows how much her mommy loves her, Wands." The pad of your thumbs caressed her wet cheeks. "She understands sometimes her mommy has to be a superhero," you patted yourself at Wanda's small smile.

"Being a doctor has been your dream since I've known you. And I know being a mom has been a challenge. But if you feeling fulfilled means I gotta hold the fort while you're away fighting diseases, then so be it. I make sure Ailin doesn't miss you that much," you winked, pulling a soft chuckle out of her.

The connection between your eyes had you shivering from the intensity of her gaze. But before you could get lost in that oh, so beautiful forest, Wanda hugged you with a force that only served to both; squeeze your heart and fill your lungs. "I couldn't do life without you," she spoke against your neck.

"Ehh… I'm having the bling-bling stuff," you laughed heartily when Wanda pinched your side. "I'm serious. We knew the possibilities and we're doing a great job at handling it."

"I love you, Detka," Wanda vowed softly and you felt as if a heating blanket was placed over your soul.

Before you could respond, the noises coming from the baby monitor on the table had you kissing her lips chastely. "Your baby needs you," you stood up turning off the walkie-talkie, smiling softly as Wanda went to your daughter's room to have a private bonding time.

A few minutes had passed when you heard giggles coming from the hallway, becoming louder and louder the closer your family got.

"Good morning, sunshine," you kissed your daughter's cheek soundly, accepting her hug.

"Mommy is here," her big green eyes shone with a light you'd never get tired of witnessing.

"I told you she'd be back. And she brought you something," you ignored Wanda's confused stare.

"What is it?" The small girl wiggled to be placed on the floor only to start an impromptu treasure hunt.

"Cold," you giggled when she reached for Wanda's bag.

You allowed her to wander for a few moments as you turned to Wanda, wrapping your arms around her neck. "You do the giving, I do the talking," you kissed her nose.

"You'll have dessert tonight." She pecked your lips before she grabbed your hand along the dried black sheet.

"What's this?" Ailin's confused brow inspected the dark paper, looking at you for an explanation after a few seconds.

"Remember what we talked about last night?" You took a dime out of the pocket of your sweatpants. At her nod, you continued. "Mommy wanted to show you a magic trick," you winked before turning to Wanda, who inhaled deeply before taking the coin out of your grip.

"Momma tells me all about you, you know?"

"Even when I'm not nice?" The fear in her features had you biting your laugh.

"Even then," Wanda chuckled softly. "But she also tells me when you feel sad, so I can make sure I can change that when I'm back," your wife patiently explained the knotted words in her mind.

"You see this black paper?" At the girl's nod, Wanda handed her the coin. "Scrap it off," she instructed, and Ailin obeyed her mom's instructions.

But nothing could have prepared you for the reaction you received.

"COLORS!" The toothy smile reflected the mirth she felt as she kept scrapping the sheet, uncovering the doodles you and Wanda had drawn before. "Mommy, look! There are colors!" She turned to your wife, who had unshed tears in her soft eyes.

"There are a lot of colors," she smiled and you felt alienated enough to interfere in such a delicate moment, so you just observed the scene unfold in front of you with warmth filling your insides.

But at Wanda's inability to keep speaking without crying, you took charge of the situation, squeezing her hand in support.

"That magic happens all the time, munchkin." You placed a hand on your daughter's shoulder, giggling when she extended her arms for you to pick her up.

"Whenever you feel sad, make sure you look for something colorful and you'll feel better,"

"Any color?" The kid asked interested.

"Any color you see. Let the comfort protect you from the sadness." you saw how your daughter processed the information she's just got.

"Can I see colors in people?" At her words, you exchanged a look with Wanda, who was equally confused as you.

"I suppose that's possible, yes."

"Okay, because I think of green when I see you."

"Oh, yes?" you tilted your head intrigued by her thinking, but saved it for another time. "And what color is Mommy?"

Ailin's eyes shifted from you to the woman sitting beside you as she pursed her lips, inspecting her mother for a moment.

"Mommy is orange!" She smiled cheekily.

It was Wanda's turn to tilt her head, curiosity written all over her face. "Why orange?"

"Because your hugs are warm like the fire," she explained nonchalantly and you felt your heart somersault Wanda's expression. So full of pure love and amazement.

"I love you, my baby." She took Ailin off your lap, holding her tight against her chest.

"I love you too, mommy."

Leaning down against the back of the couch, you basked in the realization that no matter how busy Wanda got, she would always have time for your daughter and that no matter what, the bond they shared was something unbreakable.

But it wasn't until later that day, when you were on your way back from the store, that your daughter healed the cracks in your heart once again.

"Mom, look!" The girl ran towards a pile of fallen leaves. "Can I bring it to mommy?" She showed you the orange leaf in her small hands, and you felt your heart grow ten times.

"She would love that," you smiled softly, making a mental note to have some tissues at hand when you had to comfort Wanda from her intensified emotions tonight.

It was right then, right there, that you made it your mission to shield them from the cruelty of life. Now more than ever, you made sure Ailin would always have her rainbow to fight her darkness.

Taglist: @wandabear @red1culous @xxxtwilightaxelxxx (If you want to be tagged in all of October's stories or just all my stories in general, let me know!)

#wanda maximoff x reader #promptober #day 3 #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff x y/n #wanda x y/n #wanda x reader #vee writes

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danjaley · 4 months

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One of my random book posts:

My long history with Anne of Green Gables

(and that series' unfortunate publishing history in Germany)

My first encounter with Anne of Green Gables was when the girl who bullied me in elementary school held her presentation "My favourite book" about it. The gist of her summary was: "This is a funny book about a girl who likes to pull pranks on everybody". Safe to say, she was not a kindred spirit.

This was in the late nineties, where the only way to buy books was to go to a bookshop and browse the shelves. Somehow, the only place in Germany where L.M. Montgomery seemed to sell were North-Sea holiday resorts. Probably because of the maritime setting. You can even tell by the covers that these books were supposed to be bought by seaside-tourists. Anyway, my mother bought three volumes on a holiday at the North Sea, containing everything up to Anne of Ingleside.

Until around 2000, the "whole series" in Germany consisted of three volumes containing two novels each. Some time in the 80s, Anne of Avonlea, Anne of the Island and Anne of Ingleside also had covers of their own, but they've become rarities. In only own Anne of Avonlea as a single volume. For some odd reason this is yet another cover than the "official" one.

It took me years to really grow fond of the books. The first one I associated with my enemy from school. But at least I could relate to imagining things with your friend (yes, I had friends too). The others scared and confused me. I didn't want to leave home as a teenager to go to college and be a teacher before I was twenty! And I wasn't used to books in which people died. 😥

I think it was an airing of the Animé adaptation on television that made me read the series again at around 16. It became one of my favourite works of fiction. I love books which depict everyday life, making it interesting without overdramatizing. It's something I also try to do in my stories. In this context: Matthew McCarric is partly named after Matthew Cuthbert.

Until I was around 18 I thought Anne of Ingleside was the end of the series. Then, in another bookshop (this time in Munich), I stumbled upon the one called "Anne&Rilla", which is Rilla of Ingleside. It's a very rare experience to find that an author who's known to have died decades ago just publishes a sequel! And since Anne of Ingleside was actually written after Rilla of Ingleside, it was amazing to see that all the hints in it actually led somewhere! I'd never have thought I'd actually meet Monday the Dog! Also it was the first book I read that emotionalized World War I. I only knew books about World War II, usually written long afterwards with a didactic intention. Nothing wrong with that of course, but it sparked my interest in contemporary literature about the World Wars.

The German subtitle "Zum ersten Mal verliebt" ("In love for the first time") is of course one of the worst title translations I've ever seen, surpassing even the other two. Yes, they had already used the classic "Fateful Years", but couldn't they at least have put something with "hard times"? Also note that the sub-subtitle promises two novels in one volume.

Then I wanted to read the Emily books. They had also been published as North-Sea holiday-books, but were even rarer to find. I had bought and read the third on another North-Sea-holiday, but I couldn't warm up to characters who had a history I didn't know. The first one has been out of print for so long that it's quite expensive as a collectible. So I used this new thing, The Internet, and bought it in English. It was a mind-blowing experience and I was like "Never ever will I go back to those dated sentimental translations!" In fact I only keep the German editions because of their covers. They may sometimes forget it's set in the 1900s, but I still think they're pretty.

So I went online again and ordered the Anne and Emily books in English. It was then that I discovered, there was another book of the Anne-Series, I hadn't known about. This was in 2010, and Rainbow Valley was never translated into German until 2013. It's rare to find a sequel written by a dead author, but this is the only case where it happened to me twice.

Now, remember the German Paperbacks always contained two volumes. To disguise the fact that Rainbow Valley was missing, Rilla of Ingleside had been chopped in half, and has actually been sold as two separate novels in the past. I later bought one of these in a library jumble-sale, just as a curiosity. I've also come to appreciate that English publishers don't waste our space in the shelves. The blue book has half the content of the purple and is nearly twice its size!

By the way, the Emily series did not get chopped apart, but you can see the red label on the back of "Emily in Blair Water", which passes it off as a double volume.

I had already noticed that the German translations were strongly sentimental, but what's worse, they're also incomplete. Anne of Green Gables and of Avonlea are all right, but the lady who took over then (some time in the 1980s) had her own ideas. There were several scenes cut, for what I can only guess was considered inappropriate content. Among other things, all references to men wearing female hats or other female clothing were removed (of which there are surprisingly many). What's worse, the translator even added some dialogues of her own, usually in romantic scenes, to make them more kitschy.

There have been some signs of improvement in recent years. Rainbow Valley was finally translated in 2013. There are also new translations of the first two books, which I'm reading at the moment as a e-books. I like that it's fun and modern, but sometimes so eager to write something new, that it's not exactly the meaning of the English text any more. But I'm sure readers who happen not to have studied History and English won't mind. I guess it will be some more decades until the copyright expires for the volumes which really need a retranslation.

Well, and then I became an art historian, specializing in ceiling painting and book history. If you really want to know a book, read it in several editions. You'll be surprised about the things you'll find!

#book blog intermission #nonsims

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thedeadestdarling · 13 days

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introduction

about me: hello!! my name is zephine/zeph, I am a 16 year old writer currently working on their debut novel (as well as a constantly shifting collection of side projects). I've been writing since I was four-ish, and have known that I was going to be a novelist since elementary school, but still have yet to finish a novel. I am desperate to make friends with other writers, and am not very knowledgeable when it comes to tumblr so bear with me

★ pronouns: he/they ★ pastimes: cross stich and embroidery, fashion, gardening ★ passions: my cats (ask me about them I dare you), black tea, stoic philosophy, and words in general

about my writing: I write fantasy books & short stories, focusing on a wide range of (primarily queer) characters! everything I write is set in one universe & it's alllll connected, so characters rarely belong to just one work.

WIPS: ★ Our Spirits Still Remain: a hybrid novel about ghosts, love, and learning how to move on. set in the fictional village of Vetchfield, California, a town where spirits outnumber the living inhabitants, and where death is no more than an afterthought. ★ It's Not You: a book about a girl struggling to come out as a lesbian to her boyfriend (who she's pretty sure is her soulmate, even if platonic). oh and they're trapped together on a cross-country road trip. messiness ensues.

I don't want to ramble here for too long, but thank you for reading this far and have a very nice day :) or I will find you

#creative writing #writeblr #writers of tumblr #writeblr intro #queer writers #writers on tumblr #intro post

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mdhwrites · 6 months

Note

How would you envision Sasha and Marcy parents without outright making them abusive parents

So I've actually gone at length about Sasha's parents already while defending the concept that trying to blame Sasha's parents for her baggage is actually a really bad point of view that goes against the core messages of the show. To reiterate though: I think Sasha's parents likely were very soft with her. When assholes complain about parents coddling their kids, they're thinking of the Waybrights. They called her special, their princess and such a brave girl. They tried their best to make her feel like everything was fine, even though they hated each other.

This made when they got a divorce all the more surprising to Sasha than it already could have been because from her point of view, she was already living in a fantasy. Worse yet is that suddenly all of the nice words had a strange taste to them. She wasn't their little darling, it was now Daddy's darling. Mommy's little girl. They were still sweet and cared about her but that care very well could have been twisted by the hate they had for each other. They wanted Sasha to make sure that she picked one of them specifically. That she had a favorite.

This isn't good, I've never tried to claim Sasha's parents were paragons, simply that they were only flawed. In this interpretation, we do see where Sasha got examples for how her behavior would be. Manipulation and a fragility of connection. That she would do anything to keep those close to her, those she loved, even platonically, right there so this never happened to her again. She saw the follies of her parents and walked right along their path due to the fear she herself had because of it. Mixed with her narcissistic behavior and it's a dangerous combination.

But as always: It was still her choice to walk down that path. These are not parents who told her that the only sort of friendship you could have was a controlling, manipulative one. They told her she could be anything she wanted and she chose to be a queen so that the only real emotional harm she'd ever known would never happen again.

Okay, now for Marcy's which... Unfortunately are much, MUCH harder to crack. All we know is that they were willing to uproot for the sake of the future of the family and Marcy but Marcy is the most underdeveloped of the trio. We don't really get a lot of depth out of her. We know she's got kind enough parents that despite her likely having broken three Switches in as many of years, she still keeps getting new ones, same goes for anything else's she broken due to being clumsy, and that they are a bit distant since her connection with her friends are better than her connection to her parents, hence why she chooses them over her family.

Now a quick wrench in all of this: This was their last year of middle school. The trio were all about to have to face High School and so the move wouldn't have been severe as it was any other year minus when leaving Elementary school. I would like to say that Marcy's parents are caring enough to have taken that into account. Yes they were uprooting Marcy but Marcy didn't have a lot to lose and would have had to deal with a new environment regardless.

SO my pitch is that they're old fashioned but with kind hearts. They don't get their daughter and they sometimes push Marcy to join clubs or the like but they don't force anything on her. We don't actually even know if they were strict about grades due to Marcy's natural exceptionalism but it also doesn't matter. Just the fact that they couldn't properly engage with, and probably didn't much about, Marcy's interests made a rift between them. Money tried to fill it as they made sure she had her games but her father is working most of the time and honestly, modern America says that both of her parents may have been working. It made for a lonely environment where a lot of their time spent with Marcy was trying to make sure they raised their daughter to be capable and kind.

And that is what we get when we meet Marcy in Amphibia. When she had to step up, she was ready for it. They may not have been able to provide for her emotionally but they made sure that she helped as much as she humanly could, made sure that she could take care of herself in a new environment and also instilled morals in her that made her mistake, her choice made out of sheer terror, devour her from the inside out.

Neither set of parents are perfect but neither are the Boonchuys... Or the Plantars... Or Anne. NO ONE is perfect in Amphibia but none of them deserve to be condemned either because they all genuinely care. By Amphibia's books, so long as you care about others, you are deserving of a chance yourself. Even Andrias deserves a chance at a quiet life when for recognizing that other people mattered, the thing The Core stood against most of all.

And that's why I give Marcy and Sasha's parents the same chance every other character in Amphibia gets.

Minus Chuck because he grows tulips and is perfect for it.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#amphibia #sasha waybright #marcy wu

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starseneyes · 1 month

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Milestone Birthdays

Next week, I turn 40. Forty! Gee wiz, I've (nearly) made it to 40.

But as I approach this milestone birthday, I feel the same kind of ache I felt as I neared 30. It's not that I mind milestone birthdays. Some people get depressed about aging, but I consider it a privilege.

See, my dear friend Andy Beck died at 29. We were the same age. She never made it to 30. Last year, one of my best friends, Cheryl Marek, died at 39. We were the same age. She never made it to 40.

And there's this weight on my chest of, "I wish they were here" that won't go away. I wish they made it to the milestone, too.

Andy was one of my first friends in Middle School. I went to Private School for elementary, where I was badly bullied. I was homeschooled, and then started Middle School where I was bullied even worse. But Andy and I had a special kinship.

I've posted a lot about her before. She was poetry and sadness and strength and creativity and chaos rolled into this blond-haired, brown-eyebrowed girl with the sweetest smile and so much spunk. We only chatted on Social Media by the time I lost her, but it was still a gut-punch.

Cheryl, oh, I've written loads about her, too. Met her about the same time as Andy, and if you look at my Middle School photos, Andy and Cheryl were always together. They'd known each other since they were tiny since they grew up in the same neighborhood.

Cheryl was adventure and serenity and gumption and community and compassion somehow dwelling in a single person. She moved to this area about a decade after I did, and we forged an even stronger friendship than we had before.

She fought Cancer and beat it twice over the 5 years since her first diagnosis. We very much knew as the end was approaching. But it hit just as hard as Andy's sudden death.

This doesn't diminish my gratitude to make it this far. If anything, it makes me more aware of the absolute blessing of the milestone. But... I miss them. I wish we were celebrating it all together.

So, *deep breath* it's going to be okay. I'll take my moment to feel that weight on my chest and wish it wasn't there, but I won't forget to embrace the fun, like Andy, and laugh at the chaos, like Cheryl.

They're still in me.

#tw death #tw loss #tw grief #cw death #cw grief #Grief #Birthdays #tw birthday #cw birthday

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wandabear · 2 years

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Finders Keepers (but keeps it forever) - Wanda Maximoff x Werewolf F!Reader

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ CHAPTER TWO

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

Silence was present all the way back to home. Y/N kept her gaze lost, trying to remember something about the night before -a month ago- but nothing came to mind.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Yelena was with her at all times, even when the crestfallen Y/N kept silent, coming home and seeing that everything stays the same, except that the dust was beginning to gather due to her absence.

Her apartment had always been a cozy place, quite quiet, but now it felt empty.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette looked around, feeling the absence of her beloved feline friend. “Where’s Artemis?”

The absence of her adorable white cat caught her attention, whenever she entered he came purring and stroking her leg with a unique devotion. Home… looked empty and dusty, completely abandoned.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Natasha is taking care of him.” The blonde kept hands in her pockets, feeling a little guilty about it. “On the third day where you weren't answering my calls, we came to see you and he was here alone… So we took him, until you come back.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I see.” She looked down. Dust on her feet; she abandoned her little friend. Artemis spent a month without her and she still couldn't even figure out why. Images of her cat crying came to her mind, walking around the house alone, looking at the door waiting for her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Yelena noticed her friend's sadness and said quickly: “I can call her, I'll tell her to bring him later, if you want.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No.” Y/N's voice faded sadly, realizing one of the most painful things in her life. “Tell Nat… to take good care of him, please.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

That sounded even weirder to Yelena, but she didn't say anything. What was happening to Y/N? What was so important that she left Artemis, the only thing that she always took care of with her own life since she found the little guy, abandoned on the side of the road.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What is it? tell me, do you need to talk about it?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N heard Yelena's voice behind her, making her to turn around.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, I’m okay.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Almost as if that answer disappointed her, Yelena nodded and pursed her lips.

Her heart sank deeply to see her best friend, that girl she known since elementary school, looked and acted like a completely different person.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N, you're not okay.” Finally Yelena snapped, getting close enough to see what Y/N was hiding so much with a scarf.

A scar ran down part of her neck and her jaw.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What happened to you? Just tell me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What do you want me to say?” Said the brunette, completely exhausted and defeated. What could she even say to her? She didn't know what happened.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“The truth.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I don’t know it!” Y/N snapped, the brunette burst into tears. A desperate cry, scared, confused. Y/N began to walk around the apartment, trying to hold on to what little sanity she had left. “I don't know where I've been all this time!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Yelena's jaw dropped, scared and worried for her. She hesitated a moment, trying to get closer to Y/N but she just moved away. Y/N's breathing came faster, clearly seemed to be having an anxiety attack.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N…” Yelena whispered taking her hand, trying to lead her to the couch so she could sit down but Y/N let go again, wasn't hard, she was even taller. They had always joked about how fun it was to see them together, the height difference had always been a constant joke between them.

ㅤㅤㅤ

"I can't remember…" heavy breathing, Y/N tried to move from side to side looking for an answer, but it was impossible. “I know it but at the same time I DON'T! It's killing me inside.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The Russian finally managed to get her friend to sit down, took Y/N's hands to help her down the anxiety.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N, easy, okay? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, медведь. I thought you left and…” Yelena cooed. Carefully, she hugged Y/N who snuggled her face against Yelena’s shoulder. “Shh… I'll help you. Just… try to count from ten to one… That's it… Take a deep breath…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Silence reigned, only Y/N's soft sob could be heard while her friend stroked her hair. “I promise we'll find out what happened to you, sestra.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Slowly, the brunette's breathing calmed down. Y/N kept hugging the blonde one until she decided to walk away from her, feeling a little better.

She wiped away the tears and settled down next to Yelena, ready to speak.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“There’s something you should know.” Y/N said fearfully, those teary eyes betraying, you could see the fear in them. The fear of being rejected, the fear of discovering a terrifying truth and being left alone in this cold world. “I can't remember the night I disappeared, but... when I woke up... I wasn't alone.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

About some hours later, Y/N was still pacing back and forth but this time a little more thoughtfully. Accompanied by a large cup of tea, she cast her gaze out the window, completely losing herself at the midnight rain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The rattling keys managed to get her out of all those nightmares that flooded her mind. Y/N approached terrified, somewhat hopeful, but definitely curious to know what she expected so much.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So?...” she finally said, noticing how Yelena left her car keys on the table. Beside her, Natasha reached out to hug Y/N.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yelena told me what happened.” The redhead placed a small kiss on her friend's forehead. “I promise you that soon we will know the truth.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We went to that place you said... the cabin.” Natasha's younger sister sighed and looked up from her. Those eyes said it all, the confusion and seriousness in the blonde wasn’t something usual. “Natasha came with me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Did you saw the… bodies?” Y/N swallowed hard and sat down on the couch, but Yelena shook her head. Natasha walked over to sit too.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N… the place was on fire when we got there. Firefighters were trying to put out the fire. Luckily we were able to get closer to sniff around…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thanks to you being a detective. Not because we're lucky.” Yelena joked, but even though she tried to liven up the moment, the three of them felt the tension around them.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“The fire completely consumed everything.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

But what they said made no sense. Or so Y/N told herself, uncertainty spreading like ivy on cold stone.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That can’t be true.” Y/N hesitated. “When I left…there was…the place was…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N.” Natasha's calm voice caught Y/N's attention, and for a moment, she feared that her they would treat her like a crazy person. Or had she really lost her mind? “We couldn't do anything, the fire spread and devoured everything."

ㅤㅤㅤ

Fear ran down her spine, ending with a stab to the heart.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That can be true! I was there! I swear I'm not lying!” Y/N repeated, fidgeting again but Yelena stopped her:

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We think someone did it, and I suspect that its the same person who kidnapped you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Y/N, we believe you.” Natasha added, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. Trying to make the brunette believe her, and really understand that she wasn't alone. At all.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Almost as if it was a balm comforting a deep wound, hearing that they didn't think she was crazy made Y/N feel a little better in all that chaos. But also guilty.

ㅤㅤㅤ

How could they support her if they didn't even know if Y/N had hurt those people? Now she will never know who those people were.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“How do you know it wasn't me?” Looking down, Y/N simply felt like she was in a chaotic stormy ocean. Forever.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha sighed. “Was it you who set the cabin on fire?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No...” Y/N answered, remembering the bodies in that place only caused a discomfort inside. Could still feel the scent of blood filling her nostrils.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha nodded slowly, seeing Y/N's concern and pain was genuine. She wasn't going to deny that for a moment, when Yelena told her what happened, she doubted but seeing the brunette like that… said it all. “Then someone else did.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You're not alone in this, okay?” Yelena nodded and moved closer so she could rub her best friend's back, trying to show some support. “We will be with you. All the way.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

And suddenly, those words made her heart beat again.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you.” Y/N whimpered and then bit her lip, keeping from crying again. “Thank you for this... I really don't know... I don't know what I would do without you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Now the important thing is to investigate. I'll try to find anything in the police station, info about the place, incidents in the area or that night. The bad news is that it was the night of the fair and… well, everyone was busy with it.” Natasha made a face. “I'll go right now.” Natasha got up to be able to leave, but not before hugging Y/N again. “Don't go out alone and take care of yourself. Okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N nodded and watched Natasha walk away from her, but not before saying to Yelena:

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Don't tell anyone about this. Not even Kate. I'll call you when I know something.”

ㅤ

But as the days passed and things remained the same. Natasha's investigations hadn’t advanced too much, the cabin was on forest preserve land. There was no body to identify, which left them completely confused. Was Y/N losing her mind? Was she being the victim of some narcotic strong enough to make her imagine all this?

ㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette spent her days hiding from everyone, staying away from everyone she loved, especially Wanda.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda… The one who hadn't stopped sending texts toher. Who for a month worried about looking for her, calling her, sending texts every day wanting to get an answer from Y/N.

Until finally, tired of not getting an answer and realizing that she was ghosted, stopped texting and calling.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N unlocked her phone and searched through her messages for the Sokovian's name.

The last message had been a week ago, where Wanda had sent:

ㅤㅤㅤ

‘I hope you’re okay… It's sad that it's ending this way. I thought this was different… that you were different, but I understand. I feel like a fool… anyway. You should have been honest with me. Take care, Y/N.’

ㅤㅤㅤ

A sigh got away from her lips, and a sting deep in her heart. How could Wanda think that she left her? She was crazy about Wanda. She was totally and completely in love with Wanda Maximoff, come on, that made no sense at all.

But she couldn't blame the Sokovian for thinking it. Apparently, whoever was in the business of ruining her life that night and making her lose a whole month, had also been in the business of taking clothes from the apartment and leaving a note saying ‘I'll be gone for a while, I need space’.

ㅤㅤㅤ

How come nobody noticed? Did no one really doubt that she wouldn't be able to leave them? It wasn't even her handwriting!

Her fingers danced on the screen of her phone, trying to write the most coherent message that her mind could form, but after three lines, she deleted it completely again, noticing that nothing she was going to write made sense.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What if the best way to explain her situation was… just talk about it face to face? No. Nat said that she should stay away for a while until they were sure that nothing bad would happen, she couldn't risk leaving Wanda as an 'accomplice' or ‘partner’ in whatever that happened.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N sighed deeply, closed her eyes, and just placed her phone on the table in front of her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The scent of steaming coffee filled her nostrils in an exquisite way. Lately her senses become surprisingly sharp, though she didn't notice it too much.

She took the coffee and drank some of the dark liquid, hoping it would bring some calm to the stormy ocean inside her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N spent her days trying to find information about memory leaks, losing time and although many of them only led her to really crazy theories, others with an urgent appointment with a neurologist, others seemed to lead her straight to a dead end.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Two hours passed since she arrived at that cafe, Natasha sent her some videos that she got from security cameras near Pine Barrens. The only thing she could do was watch two more hours of recordings, at night, in very poor quality.

But one of the recordings caught her eye.

ㅤㅤㅤ

3:26 AM … the night she disappeared.

A Ranger truck had driven down the road at a speed she thought was faster than usual. Y/N stopped the recording and tried to zoom in on the plate when her phone rang.

ㅤㅤㅤ

INCOMING CALL

UNKNOWN NUMBER.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She frowned.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Okay, what the hell...” Y/N whispered looking at the screen.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Hesitated for a moment whether to answer or not, seeing that there was no one around to hear. Should she do it? Natasha didn't say anything about calls.

Taking one last breath and some black liquid courage, she answered the call.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hello?” Her voice sounded hesitant, but firm.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“How do you feel?” a female voice was heard from the other side, an American accent or maybe she was faking it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Who are you?” The brunette straightened up, trying to show herself fearless. For some reason, she felt that whoever was calling wasn’t far away.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Someone who wants to know how you feel today. Do you feel hungry? Do you feel hot? Fever? Do you feel... full of energy?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N narrowed her eyes, confused. “Who are you and what the hell do you want?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Silence was heard from the other side.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You have something to do with me, right? You have something to do with my abduction.” Y/N looked around her again, this time a little paranoid perhaps. “The police don't know anything… but I swear they will know and I will find you, if you don't give me the answers I want right now.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“There’s no need for threats.” Said the mysterious woman, her voice showed how calm she felt. Y/N swore that she could hear the joyous song of a bird. “I'll see you at the Natchios Library at 45st … 30minutes. Section D, ask for volume #135.”

ㅤㅤ

And when she was about to think about telling Yelena, the stranger continued.

ㅤㅤ

“and Y/N… Alone. Just you. No tricks.” She added and then ended the call, leaving Y/N even more confused than she was before. The brunette just took her laptop, finished drinking her latte and left the coffee shop as fast as she could.

ㅤㅤ

Took about thirty minutes to get there due to traffic, Y/N looked at the facade of this old but huge bookstore before entering. The smell of sandalwood reached her quickly, she could notice how the receptionist lit some incense to 'brighten' the place.

ㅤㅤ

“Hi… excuse me, I’m looking for section D…” Y/N leaned against the desk with a friendly smile.

ㅤㅤ

The girl answered with a smile, accepting Y/N's ID and then handing her a card that she would use to get into the library.

ㅤㅤ

“Umh… I was thinking… looking for volume # 135… ” Y/N kindly asked, and in the same way, the receptionist told her that she should go up through the door and continue to the second room.

ㅤㅤ

Nodding, Y/N followed the directions until they reached the second room.

ㅤㅤ

“She said volume #135...” The brunette whispered to herself as she searched through the huge shelves full of books.

ㅤㅤ

As she walked through the place, the lights dimmed and the volumes grew a little darker and a bit spooky.

Y/N arched her eyebrow when she caught a glimpse of the name of one of these.

ㅤㅤ

“Mythic beings: spirit art of the Northwest coast.”

ㅤㅤ

“What the fuck is this? Yeah, I should have told Yelena to come with me.” Grunted under her breath, definitely the environment was quite peculiar and she didn't feel comfortable with it at all. She finally found the book the woman asked, carefully removing it from its dusty home.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Unfathomable and mystic beings; the doctrine of spirits, angels, beasts and demons from the Middle ages until the present time.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N just frowned, at that very moment her phone rang when she received a text from the same unknown number.

ㅤㅤㅤ

«Sit down and read a little, don't be shy.» Received.

ㅤㅤㅤ

That message made Y/N stir a little uncomfortably, someone was definitely watching her and she didn't like it. Again, she cursed herself for not bringing Yelena with her.

Y/N Took a seat at one of the lonely tables, her face was illuminated by a warm and soft light. She opened the book but regretted doing so. The pages, one darker than the other, contained information she would never have imagined reading in a book. Although most of the words were in Latin, the images were quite creepy.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Is it a good read?” a female voice asked, one that Y/N quickly recognized and forced her to look up. In front of her sat a girl in her thirties, wavy dark hair that contrasted with her pale skin. Lips were pink and a bit full, light brown eyes and a sweet-scented perfume.

It wasn't what she expected, but nothing surprised her anymore.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“A little creepy if you ask me...” Y/N swallowed hard and closed that book, watching and analyzing that woman.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m Julia. You can call me Jules.” She introduced herself by holding out her hand, but Y/N just looked at her doubtfully, as if she was afraid that something bad was going to happen to her just by touching her skin.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N.” There was no need to shake her hand, she told herself.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Okay, mucho mistrust, I see.” Jules widened her eyes and teased, taking her hand away.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So… you're the woman on the phone. What do you want?” She tried to look ready to defend herself if necessary.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“To know you.” Jules crossed her arms and leaned on the table. “Know how you’re feeling lately.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why do you care? Have you been watching me, you creep?” Y/N narrowed her eyes. “What happened to me that night? What did you do to me?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I didn't do anything to you.” Jules hissed and glared at her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So tell me what the hell do you know, why am I here?” That sounded like a request and not so much like a demand.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules sighed. “Something like that, it's... more complicated than you think.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It was you, who held me back all this time.” Finally, Y/N dared to be honest with her, to look into her eyes and seek the truth.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh no, stop right there.” Jules wrinkled her nose and took that book, without further ado, beginning to look for one page among many. “I didn't kidnap you, I was the one who saved your ass.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Those words confused Y/N even more, if that was possible. In a way, knowing that Jules hadn't been the one to hurt her made Y/N feel slightly better, but not much. “What are you talking about?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules kept flipping pages over and over until she found the right one. She looked up to see Y/N's.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That night, the night I found you in the woods, was one of the strangest nights of my life. And let me tell you, I have seen some really weird shit in the woods. But the important question is: are you sure you want to know?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N swallowed hard. “Please, tell me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“As I told you, my name is Jules and I found you. I am a ranger… a New York State Forest ranger.” Jules sighed and leaned in to continue whispering. “I worked in that area for five years. The night the fair was held, the fireworks scared so many wild animals that lived in the area. The organizers of the fair didn’t have the permission to hold the event in that place… Well, the ideal answer would be that they should not. But they did it anyway, with money.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N didn't say anything, just listened carefully. What did that have to do with her disappearance?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We have a pretty precarious surveillance system, as you can imagine. Some camera traps, to analyze the wildlife of the animals.” Jules licked her lips, before continuing. And for some strange reason, Y/N could smell the smell of fresh coffee on these.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That night, one of the silent alarms in my area went off. I was in my cabin when I heard the fireworks. Hours later, the howls of one or more wolves were heard in close proximity, which seemed quite strange to me.” She seemed quite sincere, Y/N noticed that she also seemed a bit nervous. “We're in the Pine Barrens, not the fucking Rocky Mountains. The weirdest thing I came across was a group of satanists, and that was scary!” Jules joked.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So I took what I needed, a shotgun with tranquilizers, I took my truck and drove two miles until I reached one of the nearby clearings. And what I found in that clearing, under the full moon... was a wolf, devouring the neck of a girl who seemed to resist with all her might.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

A look of terror was reflected in Y/N's eyes, Jules's words sent a shiver down the spine. As if the memory of her remained inside, in her body, in her scars.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I shot to the sky to scare off the wolf, I got out of the jeep...” The lost look and the way Jules was saying it, Y/N knew she hadn't hurt her. Appearances could also deceive her. “The wolf ran away I took your body, put it in my truck and took you to my cabin.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“But that was the same night you found me.” Y/N frowned. “How come I disappeared for almost a whole month? Leaving behind my family, my friends, my life…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm not done yet… Since that night, you were very close to dying. The wolf ripped your throat out.” Jules remembered that scene so disturbing and painful. “I healed you day by day, I closed your wounds the best I could, and I was grateful that you healed much faster than normal. But I still couldn't let you wake up, you just did it to eat something and fell unconscious again from the pain.” Jules sighed. “It was as if something inside you fought not to do it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N couldn't believe what she was hearing, what was all that bullshit? And although she didn't want to believe it, she wanted to think that they were completely meaningless vile lies, Y/N shifted in the seat because in some way…deep inside, she knew that this stranger was right.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why didn't you call the police? Or an ambulance?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

In those moments, Jules looked down with some sadness and Y/N knew that there was more, something that this girl wasn’t saying.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Because the best thing I could do for you…was to help you myself or put a silver bullet in your head.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Those words, as sincere as they are painful. So straight that it made Y/N swallow hard, that sounded too harsh and a little… startling.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“A… s-silver bullet?” she hesitated.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules narrowed her eyes somewhat surprised and also suspicious, was the brunette so closed to accepting the terrifying truth? She leaned in to stare at Y/N. “You really can't feel it, Y/N?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules's gaze, so penetrating, seeking the truth on those lips. Y/N felt somewhat uncomfortable, something in her was refusing to believe and accept that reality.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Every time the sun goes down, something in you wakes up.” Jules began, almost like a sigh. “Lately you feel more agile, better mood, you wake up with more energy. But you also need more adrenaline.” She added in a somewhat playful way: “And of course you feel hungrier than usual. Much more than normal, and I don't just mean food.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“How do you know that?” Y/N could have sworn that for sure, she would look pale as milk. How did she know that?

ㅤㅤㅤ

Day by day, she felt a huge improvement in her metabolism and her mood. She felt agility, but an enormous hunger. And maybe a little more horny.

And as if Jules knew that she would respond that way, the girl took that book and turned it on the table so that Y/N could see it. She could read the same stuff on that page, and what Y/N saw made her blood run cold. Those images… nothing made sense.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“The shot I scared the wolf off with... was a silver bullet. It's something that... we always have to carry. Dont ask me why, they just make us do it.” Jules pointed out one of the most accurate drawings in that book, where they perfectly portrayed a man and next to him, a wolf. Lunar cycles, some Latin phrases that Y/N couldn't understand. “You're hungry, you feel a little more… excited than usual. Especially when the days go by and the full moon arrives… Those days you will feel like a goddess.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She pursed her lips, That didn't sound so bad, did it? Y/N could see some compassion in her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Until the wolf takes control.” Jules finished, causing a shiver in the brunette.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Of course Y/N wasn't going to show fear or any kind of negative emotion, the first thing her body and her mind could do was let out an ironic snort.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Werewolves don't exist.” Y/N scoffed, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. She wasn’t going to accept such completely incoherent nonsense.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We are what we are, Y/N.” Jules looked down at her and for the first time, Y/N felt that she was being honest.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We…?” The brunette swallowed hard. “You too?” Y/N cleared her throat. “I mean, I'm not saying I believe this because... it sounds like a big pile of shit, wasting my time so I don't go to the police station and file a complaint for kidnapping and drugging me for a month.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Silence reigned for a moment until the stranger spoke again.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Unlike you… mine was… unavoidable.” As she told that she looked a bit nervous. Perhaps the best way to tell her the truth was… to lie to her. Possibly the only time Y/N didn't suspect she was keeping something from her. “I was born this way. But my dad taught me how to survive in a harsh environment like the one around us, and now you have to do it this time.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Do what?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Shaking her head, completely exhausted from how close-minded Y/N was being, Jules pushed the book away and pointed to the page for her to see.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Check it out. Read what you will become, the damage you will cause to everyone you love if you decide to stay. If you decide not to listen to me.” She tapped the page with her finger. “Read it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Werewolves: The Legend of Lycanthropy ㅤㅤㅤ

“…werewolves are, according to some legends, people who morph into vicious, powerful wolves. Boodthirsty beasts who cannot control their lust for killing people… It’s unclear exactly when and where the werewolf legend originated… Many so-called werewolves from centuries ago were in fact serial killers…

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Okay, I have to stop here. This is crazy and you are out of your fucking mind.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

"Y/N, keep reading damn it!"

ㅤㅤㅤ

“…Though the full moon was originally only one of many possible causes of lycanthropy, it was the one that stuck in the public's mind. Today, many people still associate the moon with werewolves and madness. Centuries later other methods were said to create werewolves, including ‘being cursed, or by being conceived under a new moon, or the best known was being bitten by one of these. A cursed and infectious bite.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N swallowed hard, feeling heat in her scars.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“ It was also widely believed that werewolves could dress in a special, protective wolf skin, though they had to remove it at daybreak and hide it. As a human being. The signs of infection are not clear and specific, many report having felt an enormous hunger… Stronger beating hearts and an agility worthy of a nocturnal beast. The curse always ends with blood, and it is always is not from the wolf...”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N stopped quickly, feeling enormous anger and deep fear at the same time, shook her head and shoved the book at Jules. She would never accept that. She would never hurt those she loves.

She would protect Yelena, Kate, Wanda with her life...

Her beloved Wand.

She would give her life for Wanda.

ㅤㅤㅤ

All this was wrong, everything was a product of the imagination of that unknown woman who had come to ruin her life. What kind of creepy fantasy was that?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm not a werewolf.” The firmness in her voice made Jules sigh, what a stubborn one. “I am a girl who has been kidnapped, drugged and you’re completely crazy. You need to go to a psychiatric hospital, stay there for a long time because you’re not okay at all!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The last words were stronger than expected and it could be seen in Jules’ discomfort.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“First, ouch, that's not right. You can't say that to someone, no one gives you the right to call me crazy and send me to a mental hospital like you're the fucking Freud, Y/N. That’s not right.” Jules scolded her but a bit annoyed too. Those words had gone deeper than Y/N thought. “And second... Werewolves are much more common animals than you might think, Y/N.” Without further ado, she took a small object from her pocket, took Y/N's hand, dropped it on it as if it were a small gift.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N's eyes widened as that metal touched her skin. The pain, deep and stabbing, the brunette hissed in pain and tried to move away from her, but Jules forced her to close her fist, squeezing the little metal tightly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

A silver bullet.

Painful and deadly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sure, of course! Everything will be fine until you have werewolf morning. Waking up like it's a vodka hangoverm but it's going to be blood on your fucking walls!” Jules hissed in annoyance, angry, the helplessness and pain of just imagining it made her blood run cold. And although her heart sank at the sight of Y/N's teary eyes from pain and surprise, the pain and terror in Y/N's eyes said it all, but she had to understand. If it wasn't for the good... it would be for the bad.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“…And you will pray to god, to every god, that blood was yours. Like the one in that cabin.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Those last words, spoken like a whisper to the wind, Jules let go of Y/N's hand and watched as Y/N dropped the bullet in desperation.

Jules closed the book hard enough that he released a small cloud of dust.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Now you’re cursed, you must deal with it, Y/N.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N looked down at her to see her palm, as damaged as if she'd dropped a hot poker on it. Red, burned, and sore skin.

That hurt, but the reality to which she now had to get used to hurt more.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Now choose, 'cause it's time to go.” The woman with prominent lips got up from her seat and with the book in her arms, she took a few steps back, waiting for Y/N to do the same. “The people in that cabin were hunters, and we didn't kill them. Someone else did... I had to set it on fire or more would come for us.”

ㅤㅤ

But Y/N didn't, she just stood still watching her hand still.

ㅤㅤ

“ ...Where?” Y/N said barely, with a small voice. When she looked up, Jules could see the confusion and fear. As if she were a child abandoned to her fate, without a home, losing everything. “Where we will go?”

ㅤㅤ

“There's a lot you need to know, a lot you need to learn... and this is not a good place to do it. New York is not for people like us.” Jules winced and started to walk towards the door but she stopped to see Y/N who hadn't moved.

ㅤㅤ

“What am I going to do now?” her voice cracked, her world was falling apart. Confusion, feeling terrified, curious and alone. All the feelings drowning her deep.

ㅤㅤ

Somewhat sadly, Jules just decided to be honest. “You can only move forward... and protect the ones you love.”

ㅤㅤ

But time passed and everything seemed to be just… punishment. That's what it was, her life was destined to carry an eternal punishment.

ㅤㅤ

Lycanthropy, a curse she had to bear since the gods decided her fate. She was doomed to never see the moon the same way again, to leave everything and everyone she loved. Because every time the full moon rose this Earth, Y/N would turn into a horrible, thirsty monster. And every time that happened, every time her bones broke one by one, every time her cells destroyed and regenerated into a vicious animal, she would begin to hate her. That beautiful moon. Completely forgetting that last night where she could see her with Wanda, holding hands, snuggled together.

The pain, the exhaustion, the hopelessness. She would hate every Full Moon, to the point that she now would forget how much she ever loved it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Tired eyes, lonely eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤ Feeling like an infection that would spread across the Earth, a legend no one would remember.

Jules become a great ally in all that chaos. At least they had each other, tried to learn about themselves. They became great friends and it was something that she lacked. Friends.

ㅤㅤ

Since that day where she met Jules, Y/N stopped answering Yelena's texts and calls, convincing herself that the best thing of all was to get away from her and everyone, taking care of them that way.

ㅤㅤ

But there are several ways to kill those you love.

ㅤㅤ

A sigh escaped from her lips as she watched that scene that tore at her heart apart.

Sitting in front of that cafe, Wanda used to go every afternoon to drink a delicious cappuccino, write for her column or just chat with Natasha or Monica Rambeau.

ㅤㅤ

From across the street, Y/N watched her beloved Wanda and adjusted her black New York Knicks cap, trying to not be recognized.

The Sokovian looked so beautiful, that brown silky hair, styled in the most adorable way.

Did she still smell of raspberry and hazelnut? She missed it so much.

So much so that she ached deep within her soul, a scar that she would never fully heal.

ㅤㅤ

Why? Everything was going perfectly. They started dating, her love was growing exponentially... Why did life put such a painful obstacle in her way?

ㅤㅤ

The sound of a chair moving next to her let her know she wasn't alone.

ㅤㅤ

“It's her?” Jules voice made Y/N look down, a bit guilty. She hadn't told Jules that she was coming to say goodbye to Wanda. She didn't want to be scolded for that, she just wanted to suffer alone.

ㅤㅤ

“Wanda?” Jules asked curiously again, seeing how the adorable green-eyed girl smiled at what Natasha said. She looked gorgeous, she was wearing a nice light blue shirt. Her hair was slightly shorter and light brown, so adorable. Now she understood why Y/N was so crazy about her. “She’s really beautiful.”

ㅤㅤ

“She's more than beautiful... she’s my everything.” Y/N smiled wistfully and decided to hide the pain on her face by drinking some coffee.

ㅤㅤ

“Sorry, Y/N.” Jules whispered noticing the sadness in her face. Since she met Y/N, the brunette always spoke of Wanda with a unique devotion, so much love for that girl. “She looks like an amazing girl, everything you told me about her proves it.”

ㅤㅤ

“She is… It's okay.” Y/N licked her lips. “I would do anything to keep her safe.”

ㅤㅤ

“She will be. I know you want the best for her.” Jules put a hand on Y/N's shoulder, trying to support her.

ㅤㅤ

Even more when suddenly, a tall and somewhat handsome boy approached Wanda to talk to her. She smiled and blushed, they seemed to know each other, especially when he handed her a bouquet of flowers. He was wearing glasses, that blonde hair combed perfectly, blue eyes like precious diamonds. Looking like an honorable man… everything unlike her.

ㅤㅤ

Natasha decided to go, leaving them alone.

In the silence, you could hear Y/N's heart break completely.

ㅤㅤ

“He doesn't know that she loves daisies, doesn't like carnations very much…” An open wound that throbbed and bled deep inside. “But he seems nice, his name is Jarvis. Some people call him 'Vis', don't ask me why.” Y/N swallowed hard, hoping the pain in her chest would pass soon but it was impossible. “Apparently she met him two weeks ago... he approached at a party that Monica dragged her to.”

ㅤㅤ

“Mmh.” Jules just pursed her lips, sadly. Surely that would be devastating for Y/N. “She doesn't look that happy though. There’s no sparkle in her eyes like in the picture you have on your phone screen.”

ㅤㅤ

Y/N smiled sadly, at least Jules was trying to make her feel better as she could. “You can't see her eyes from here, dummy.”

ㅤㅤ

“Yeah but I'm not blind either, I can see it from here, wolf eyes, you know?...” Jules smiled too, they both got up and left some money for the waitress. “Are you sure you don't want to say goodbye to her?”

ㅤㅤ

Y/N hesitated but decided to shake her head.

ㅤㅤ

“It's better this way, you were right.” Taking a deep breath, she looked at Wanda once more with a wistful gaze. “I think if I got close to her, I wouldn't be able to let her go anymore.”

ㅤㅤ

Leaving her heart behind, the brunette began to walk through that coffee shop to finally leave. The day was cloudy, some drops began to fall making people to rush and seek shelter from the rain.

ㅤㅤ

“I'm sorry you have to make such a horrible sacrifice, Y/N/N” Jules whispered.

ㅤㅤ

“It's like what you've had to do, right? With your dad and stuff…” Y/N put her hands in her pockets, walking beside Jules.

ㅤㅤ

Jules was quiet, she couldn't answer that. She couldn't lie to her when Y/N was being honest and sharing something painful with her. Maybe when she met her it was easy but now... Y/N was her friend. She deserved the truth.

ㅤㅤ

“What's going on?” the dark-haired girl asked frowning at her, noticing that Jules looked guilty. As if she was hiding a secret.

ㅤㅤ

“Wait…” Y/N finally caught on. She never thought about it, ever since they met, Y/N trusted her enough. “You said that you… you were born that way, your dad knew what you are, and that he had helped you and… That doesn't make sense.”

ㅤㅤ

Y/N looked at her still confused and hurt, waiting for an explanation, but continued a bit more: “That doesn't make sense, Jules, because that night where you found me… it was a full moon. It means that…”

ㅤㅤ

The brunette swallowed hard, noticing how Jules eyes filled with tears, but she avoided showing it, fixing her gaze on something else.

ㅤㅤ

“You lied to me… you were the wolf.” Y/N whispered, clenching her jaw. The fear turned into a colossal anger, an anger that was not going to be possible to endure and pretend. The silence between them was broken by car horns and laughter from a group of people near them.

ㅤㅤ

“No.” Jules finally said with her hoarse voice, breaking the silence and her heart. “Yes, I did lie to you... But not about that.”

ㅤㅤ

Y/N didn't say anything, just waited for the girl to continue. Jules cleared her throat taking courage and turned so she could meet Y/N’s eyes.

ㅤㅤ

“I was there doing my job, because I was a human and always have been… human.” The girl inhaled deeply. “I found you dying in the woods, I shot the wolf and it ran away. But when I carried you in my arms, injured, you woke up in a very… you seemed scared, as if you were defending yourself from something, so… you bit me.”

ㅤㅤ

Y/N's eyes widened. She didn't expect that, not at all. “Me?”

ㅤㅤ

“You bit me, you infected me, yes.” Finally the truth came out and it was not what Y/N expected. The rain began to fall, small drops dying against them. Jules started walking, trying to avoid a not very pleasant scene. “And I was very upset with you for weeks, trust me, it wasn't easy... until I decided to look for you so you could know the truth, and be safe. That wolf is still outside, it wasn't your fault neither mine.”

ㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry.” Y/N took her arm for a moment to stop her, both decided to take shelter for a moment under the roof of a store. “I would never hurt, I'm really sorry. I don't remember everything that happened that night, but I really… I didn't mean to hurt you.”

ㅤㅤ

Jules just nodded. What else could she do or say? It wasn't Y/N's fault.

ㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry.” Y/N repeated.

ㅤㅤ

“I know.” Jules whispered feeling better for having told her the truth. “And now, we're in this together."

ㅤㅤ

Y/N nodded. “What are we going to do now?”

ㅤㅤ

The rain kept falling and lightning lit up the sky of that cloudy city.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Well… My cabin is on fire and with it my job. We don't know who did it, so…” Jules sighed and took her backpack, adjusting it on her back. She began to walk again, trying to accept the rain rather than flee from it. Y/N hesitated for a moment to do so but finally, she walked next to her. “How about Wyoming? Yellowstone is beautiful this time of year.”

ㅤㅤ

Y/N shrugged. “I guess it'll do for blending in... There aren't any werewolves on the beach, right?” Y/N teased and to her surprise, Jules smiled too.

ㅤㅤ

“Only when we have vacations. And maybe on Halloween. Contrary to what everyone believes, we monsters rest on Halloween.”

They both left that place behind, not knowing that someone saw them. Wanda felt like her heart was ripped out with just one blow.

Here comes Ms. Maximoff. Cause we need to hear her too. Next.

As you know, Jules is portrayed by the amazing Adelaide Kane. link If you wanna be tagged, just ask! If i didn't do it, ask me again in a comment cause i'm just dumb.

the cutest and lovely people tags ✨ : @lijo-8 , @duck-5 , @username23345 , @i-need-somebody-else , @lattayhottay16 , @germz19 , @chaeismybae , @mrns21 , @whhyyynottt , @tita001 , @dont-worry-aboutme-darling , @is-mise-rachel , @devilsanus616

Thank you for reading me, my bees.

Thanks you so damn much to the people who leave a ❤️ , 🔁 and leave comments -even as an anon on my box of requests-, you make me keep writing. And you're making my life easier! 🐻ㅤ

#wanda maximoff x f!reader #wanda maximoff x reader

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osaemu · 6 months

Note

omg I need to know the story behind the Korean fetish girl (if ur alr w sharing)

girlll don't even get me started. so i've known her since elementary school and she's always been a yeehaw/country music/cowboy boots kinda girl, but about a year ago someone made her aware that koreans existed! and ever since then, all she talks about is korean this and taekwondo that and hyunjin and jungkook and whatever and i'm just like... ok.

and that's not even the worst part bro she rly started typing in korean and posting stuff like that on her story and a bunch of my korean-speaking friends joke about it too bc she always gets it wrong LOL, plussss the fact that she only likes koreans and hangs out with asians now. u could look at her crush history and it's all mid taekwondo boys and kpop idols...... including her friends (who think her korean fetish is weird affff). and she stopped hanging out with her non-asian friends, which is like ok girl why r u trying so hard to be an abg..

and for the cherry on top, the other day in english one of my friends told me she said this: "sometimes when i get frustrated i unconsciously say stuff in korean". as someone who's korean u can see why i took her off my spam 😹

#hanbox #i could yap on and on about this #anywaysss thanks for asking this was fun :3

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magicshopaholic · 2 years

Text

Double Take (Hoseok x OC)

Summary: Years after telling the neighbourhood brat to get a life, Hoseok does a double take when he realises she’s no longer the skinny kid who worshipped him once upon a time.

Pairing: Hoseok x OC

Genre: Angst, unrequited love

Word count: 11.7 K

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Parental death, heartbreak, allusions to sex, mentions of alcohol

A/N: It's finally here! I've been waiting so long to finally put this on paper and to get Hobi's storyline up and running. Hope you enjoy one of my favourite OCs and her story. Since this is more of a prologue than anything else, it can be read standalone.

Tagging: @bbl32, @quarter-life-crisis2, @meirkive, @dreaming-with-happiness, @kflixnet (drop a message if you want to be added)

Listen to: “you can't hurry love” by phil collins

hoseok masterlist | main masterlist

When Chaeyoung was a girl, the best person she knew was her older brother. Chanyeol was everything; he was smart, he was kind, he was fun and popular, he was one of the best tennis players in the school and didn’t so much as have a spat with anybody his entire life. He was perfect; in fact, if there was one weakness he had, it was his little sister.

Chaeyoung worshipped him. He was her protector, her best friend, her role model. Every time her parents told her to be more like Chanyeol, it annoyed her only to an extent because why wouldn’t all parents want their kids to be like Chanyeol? He was perfect. From birth to present day, Kang Chanyeol was perfect.

The shift was subtle but crept up on her quickly. Sometime around the time when Chaeyoung was in her last years of elementary school, her mind began to expand. She observed more, listened more, and even started to question herself, but it wasn’t until the middle school sports day that year that it hit her: if there was one person in the world who was cooler than her older brother, it was his best friend, Hoseok.

She would never forget that day. She’d been dragged along by her father and the Jungs to watch the middle-schoolers partake in various sports. She hadn’t been in a good mood; Chanyeol hadn’t been forced to come to her sports day because he had school, and enforcing the reverse had felt grossly unfair. Still, she’d huffed and silently watched the taller kids run around, begrudgingly cheered for her brother when he’d won his tennis trophy, and even taken pictures of various combinations of their family and friends.

By the afternoon, Chaeyoung was becoming tired and cranky. At six years old, she felt ridiculous sitting among adults all day while the other kids hung around with their friends. The day couldn’t end fast enough and when it was finally only the two hundred metre race that was left, she’d breathed a sigh of relief. All her irritation went out the window once the race began, however, and she’d found herself unexpectedly engaged in how close it was. When it ended with Jung Hoseok running through the ribbon, sweaty and victorious, it was like she was seeing a whole different person.

Chaeyoung had known Hoseok for what felt like her entire life. His family had moved to their street when she’d been five, a little over a year after her mother had died. There was the older sister; she looked like an angel the first time Chaeyoung saw her, descending the porch staircase to jog down to catch the school bus. There were the parents who were welcomed to the neighbourhood by her own father who was gardening while a loading truck was parked by their house.

“Chaeyoung! Come and say hello!”

She’d been startled, for she’d been waiting for her own school bus when her father called, but she’d walked over with the confidence of a five year old anyway - when she’d noticed him. A young boy, no older than her brother, was standing silently by his mother’s leg, but with a bright smile on his face. He was scrawny, and slighter than Chanyeol, but seemed taller. Chaeyoung was still staring at him when her brother joined them and when both boys ran into the back of the loading truck at Hoseok’s father’s request, Chaeyoung followed without a second thought.

“Is this yours?” Chanyeol had been asking Hoseok, a gameboy in his hand. Hoseok nodded, the same smile appearing on his face again.

“I got it for my birthday this year,” he’d volunteered almost apologetically, as though needing to provide an explanation for why he had it.

“Cool,” said Chanyeol, sounding impressed. “I just got one, too. For doing well on my exams.” He’d turned the video game in his hands. “Is this the X400? It’s supposed to have Level 12 of the Alien Invasion version…”

Chaeyoung had been watching Hoseok, how his eyes shone as he talked about his video game, how easily her brother had made a new friend. Most importantly, she’d recalled the moment Chanyeol had received the aforementioned gameboy - and how she’d received nothing, because her report card hadn’t been as good as his. She’d gone to bed angry and in tears that night, until her brother had sneaked into her room with his brand new present after everyone had gone to sleep and let her play with it until she’d had her fill.

But this was not the time to dwell on that. There was not a chance in hell that she would be left out of the group because of a gameboy, or lack thereof, and she’d needed to cement the first impression before that happened. So, without thinking about it, Chaeyoung had skipped forward and snatched the gameboy right out of her brother’s hands.

“I’m really good at Alien Invasion, too,” she’d begun to say, interrupting the conversation and starting Chanyeol. Hoseok had broken off mid-word and was staring at her, which made her lose focus for a moment, and somewhere in the commotion, the gameboy fell to the ground and broke in two.

“No!” Hoseok’s face had dropped and he’d rushed to her feet to pick it up, frantically picking up both pieces and turning them around in his hands. “What - what did you do?”

“I’m - I’m sorry,” she’d murmured, suddenly feeling very small and short between the boys as her brother stepped closer to Hoseok, calmly taking the smaller piece and looking for where to fix it. Chaeyoung had stood there, motionless, while Chanyeol calmly figured out how to slide the loose piece back on the game.

“There,” he said after a moment, shaking it gently to see if it was fixed. “I think it’s okay.”

Hoseok’s face had been white as a sheet as he confirmed it, pressing one of the buttons and swallowing thickly as she screen lit up. “Yeah,” he said finally. He’d looked up at Chanyeol, eyes wide and grateful. “Thanks, man.”

“No problem.” Her brother had then looked down at her and tilted his head. “Chae, you want to say sorry?”

She already had, but at that moment, Chaeyoung had obeyed him. “Oh - um, sorry.”

Hoseok had glared at her suspiciously. “It’s really expensive,” he’d blurted, his voice a little wobbly.

“I - I know. It was an accident.”

He’d looked like he wanted to say more, but her father’s voice had floated over to them then, informing them that their school bus had arrived. Both boys, as though they’d been doing it every day of their lives, walked out together like the cool, older nine year olds they were and Chaeyoung was left to trail behind them, boarding the bus just as the door closed behind her.

She’d been peering at the different seats, knowing that no matter what, she and Chanyeol would sit together. He always let her sit with him, even if his friends were there. “Oppa, where do you want to -” But she trailed off when she looked up, her chest feeling funny as she watched her brother introduce the new boy to his group of friends at the back of the bus. As the group mumbled their names and started chattering about mundane things, Hoseok took the seat next to Chanyeol.

It had taken a few seconds for Chaeyoung to realise that she’d have to find a seat of her own, for the first time in her life. Her eyes fell to the gameboy in Hoseok’s hands; he was still fiddling with it as he listened to the others talk to each other. His gaze had met Chaeyoung’s then, and his wide, friendly eyes immediately narrowed, letting her know he wasn’t about to forget what she’d almost done anytime soon. With a jerk, the bus began to move.

It didn’t take long for Hoseok to become an inevitable part of her life; he and her brother quickly became inseparable, and Chanyeol clearly thought highly of him. He fit in seamlessly at school, he was fun and loud and cheerful, and no one she’d met so far had a single bad thing to say about him.

The only person Hoseok seemed to get annoyed by, apart from his own sister sometimes, was his best friend’s sister. Chaeyoung had noticed how he rolled his eyes every time she tried to hang out with them, how she wanted to be included while they were playing video games or when they wanted to ride their bikes to school. At school, Chaeyoung watched her brother and Hoseok grow further and further away from her, both of them in different buildings of the school, in separate cafeterias and with completely separate groups of friends.

But it was a point of pride for her that despite Chanyeol’s growing popularity, she was still his sister. His friends knew it, her friends knew it - and the only person she allowed to be as close to him was Hoseok, only because he was Hoseok.

At the sports meet, almost a year after the Jungs moved in next door, she felt like she knew what that meant. When she’d seen the waves of cheering for Hoseok when he won the final race, when she watched how his friends gathered around him, how her brother was the first one to hug him, it occurred to her how badly she wanted to be one of them. So, naturally, since no one stopped her, Chaeyoung ran down to the field with the other kids, ready to congratulate him.

She fought her way through, feeling just as proud of him as everyone else seemed to be. She’d known him for as long as she could remember, after all - he was family. With his damp hair, white jersey and infectious smile, it was like she was seeing the sun. He hadn’t seen her yet, though, but once she made it to the front of the crowd, he finally did.

Chaeyoung didn’t think she’d ever forget the moment their eyes met. How, for a split second, the euphoria seemed directed at her and she felt stirrings in her heart she’d never felt before. Her legs moved automatically and she rushed to hug him, noticing only just before she reached him how his face went slack and his eyes went wide with horror.

He stepped back the same moment she reached him, causing her to trip and fall onto him as they both crashed to the ground. It was sudden and unexpected, but Chaeyoung hugged him anyway.

“You were amazing!” she started to squeal, only to be roughly pushed away. She fell on her backside with a soft “oof!”, completely confused for a second until she looked up to see Hoseok scrambling to his feet. His expression was one of immense irritation, a direct contrast to what it was a minute prior, as he dusted his hands on his shorts.

“What are you doing, you weirdo?” he snapped, and it was only then that she realised the noise around her hadn’t died down - they just weren’t cheering anymore. They were laughing.

Chaeyoung sat there on the ground, motionless, too stunned to even cry. It wasn’t at all the reaction she was expecting, until she noticed how Hoseok, his face red, was backing away from the crowd as though trying to make himself invisible. It occurred to her only then what was happening; Jung Hoseok, the coolest boy she knew, was shy.

It made her stomach flutter, that she’d made him shy. Even though Hoseok only glared at her after that and wouldn’t even look at her when their families went out to dinner that night, Chaeyoung knew. She knew she’d seen something on Hoseok’s face she’d never seen before, and she was the only one who’d made him look that way. At six years old, Chaeyoung knew she was in love with Jung Hoseok.

—

Chaeyoung couldn’t remember her mother very well. She hadn’t been barely five when the aneurysm had suddenly been detected. There were some quick hospital visits, the walls white and the sheets crisp, before one evening, her father had come to both her and Chanyeol at the house of the neighbour who’d been babysitting them to tell them that their mother had died.

At the time, Chaeyoung hadn’t quite been able to comprehend it. All she knew was that her father was crying - her father - and Chanyeol was trying his absolute hardest not to. She’d sneaked over to her brother’s room that night to comfort him - after all, he did every time she cried - but when she’d reached the doorway and heard his muffled sobs, she’d broken down as well. It was that, even more than her mother’s sudden death, that had made her succumb to tears that night: the fact that for the first time in her memory, her brother - her tall, perfect nine year old brother - was crying.

As the years went by and Chaeyoung began growing up, she’d realised that losing her mother meant more than just the fact that she would have to dress herself for school. There were conversations with friends, playdates at others’ houses, even casual words between Jiwoo and her mother every time the Jungs came over for dinner, that would give Chaeyoung pause and make her wonder what exactly it was that was lacking in her life without a mother.

Of course, given that she hadn’t really known much about her mother, and remembered even less, there was only so much she could speculate about. Then, about four years after her mother’s death, their father had told them about Seoyoon. He’d been very nervous, she’d been able to tell, but everything he’d said after that made no sense to her at all. Next to her, Chanyeol hadn’t reacted much at all until the end, when he’d simply shrugged when their father asked them if they were okay.

“But what about mom?” Chaeyoung had blurted out, not even realising that from the moment the new lady’s name had left her father’s mouth, these had been the only words in her mind, going round and round on a loop.

Her father had tilted his head and looked at her sadly. “Mom…” He’d trailed off for a moment. “Mom will always be your mom. Nobody else will ever be able to take her place. Even in my life,” he’d continued, and he’d reached out and held Chanyeol’s hand, “no one will ever be able to replace her. But Seoyoon is…” He’d blinked rapidly for a few seconds. “At a certain age, sweetheart… it gets too hard to be alone.”

At the time, Chaeyoung had taken this to mean that this new woman, this Seoyoon, was something of a playmate, someone for her father to chat with on the phone and watch movies with once in a while. It still wasn’t the best feeling but she didn’t know how to put it into words, the feeling of seeing something slip through her fingers and being powerless to catch it. She’d looked up at Chanyeol, who was staring at the ground and finally nodded. A moment later, Chaeyoung nodded, too, for if her brother was okay with it, so was she.

When she went up to her room, she suddenly felt terribly lonely. It was too dark and she felt that if she were to cry as loudly as she could, no one would hear her, and no one would care. She thought of her mother, a face she only knew from pictures, a voice she scarcely remembered, and whose touch she could only imagine. She pictured her mother right beside her, understanding everything she was feeling and murmuring quietly, as quiet as the wind, that everything would be alright.

Call me if you need me.

It was one of the only things Chaeyoung had any memory of her mother saying, a vivid picture of her scribbling her cell phone number next to her husband’s on a piece of white card and tucking it safely inside Chaeyoung’s pocket. It was what she said now, sweetly, silently.

I will, Ma.

It was the first night she dreamed Ma into existence.

Ma stayed after that. She felt like a mother whenever Chaeyoung thought about her, but better than all her friends’ mothers. She never told Chaeyoung to finish her vegetables, she always realised it was unfair when her father would compare her marks to Chanyeol’s, and she always, always took Chaeyoung’s side. When Chaeyoung was annoyed or angry, Ma would be there. Sometimes, even when she was happy, like when she made it onto the football team, Ma was there - not with the other parents in the stands, but right there next to Chaeyoung on the field.

She didn’t know whether to tell Chanyeol. On the one hand, she trusted him more than anybody else in the world - and wasn’t she his Ma, too? But when she tried to broach the topic of their mother once, when he’d been studying and she’d been bursting to tell someone, Chanyeol had been uncharacteristically abrupt with her.

“I don’t want to talk about this, Chae.”

He’d interrupted her when she’d been mid-sentence, and she’d fallen silent. He seemed to realise this, for a moment later he looked up at her and sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I just… I really need to study for this test.” When she only nodded and said nothing, he continued. “Also, now that dad has… now that Seoyoon is here, I just don’t think it’s right to talk about mom.”

If Chaeyoung had been older, if she’d realised that her brother, too, was a child who was doing the best he could, she would have seen this statement as evidence that he was coping with the loss of their mother, just like she was. But in her nine year old wisdom, she took this to mean that Seoyoon was the reason no one could talk about her mother anymore.

Seoyoon was invited for dinner later that week, and again the week after that. After that it became more and more frequent, to the point that she was there when Chaeyoung and her brother returned home from school, and Chanyeol at least stopped seeming surprised.

A couple of months later, her father sat them down and told them his plan. He’d looked nervous yet hopeful, until relief washed over his face when Chanyeol gave him a small smile and nodded in assent.

He’s lying! Chaeyoung wanted to scream, but her voice wouldn’t work, not when her father turned to her and his expression changed from relief to anticipation, as though he was expecting a fight. Chaeyoung didn’t disappoint, and even though she knew he’d do what he wanted anyway, she bit the inside of her cheek and exhaled sharply.

“You promised you wouldn’t forget about mom,” was all she said and at nineyears old, it seemed like the crux of the issue. No matter how much her father tried to convince her he hadn’t, Chaeyoung knew that she, at least, would do everything possible to keep her mother with her.

Later that week her father finally pulled the plug and proposed to Seoyoon. The following weekend, he threw an announcement dinner with the Jungs from next door, where Chaeyoung watched this woman throughout. Her stepmother; this new woman who was sitting in her mother’s kitchen, laughing with her father and giving presents to her and her brother like she’d known them forever.

Chaeyoung was too startled to do anything but quietly accept it and echo a thank you along with her brother. No one will ever be able to replace your mom, her father had promised. Chaeyoung didn’t know what that meant anymore; all she knew was that there were eight people in the room, four in each family, and that her mother was not one of them.

Sometime during dessert, when there was music playing and the adults were chatting with drinks in their hands, Chaeyoung slipped out of the front door and sat on her porch. Chanyeol was busy with something inside and, anyway, she had no interest in hanging around with him right now. It was rare but it happened, and right now she simply wanted away from all the music and energy.

It was a reasonably chilly night, and she involuntarily shivered when she sat down on the porch. It was quiet as she waited for Ma, and she closed her eyes in wait. A sudden rustling made her eyes snap open, followed by a groan.

“Chaeyoung?”

Her heart instantly zoomed, which seemed to be the default reaction for her body every time Hoseok entered her mind space. She looked up to see him come into view, standing at the edge of the front yard.

“Yeah,” she said immediately, hearing the forced upward lilt in her own voice.

He sighed loudly. “Seriously? Are you following me again?”

Chaeyoung felt herself deflate. This, too, seemed to be a default reaction every time she entered his mind space.

“No,” she mumbled. “What are you doing out here?” she asked after a moment.

“I lost my keychain this morning. I think I dropped it here.” He sighed, glancing at her begrudgingly. “I don’t suppose you’ve seen it? It’s a Manchester United one.”

Chaeyoung bit her lip. She knew which keychain he was talking about, for not only had she seen it, she had it. She’d seen it fall out of the side pocket of Hoseok’s backpack this morning when all three of them walked to the school bus. As usual, she’d been walking behind both boys, trying to keep up with their conversation as they chattered about something hilarious that had happened during their class field trip yesterday.

Every time she’d tried to interject, they either continued their conversation like they hadn’t heard her, or they would tell her to stop interrupting. When Hoseok finally snapped at her (“Can you please shut up for a second?”), she’d sulked but obliged, feeling rather annoyed again. The final nail in the coffin had been just before they’d been about to board, and a girl in the window - a beautiful, popular thirteen year old girl with pretty curls and blue ribbon - smiled out the window. Chaeyoung had followed her gaze and swallowed as she realised she was smiling at Hoseok - and he was smiling back.

Chaeyoung had felt her heart drop and her teeth grit. As she followed the boys into the bus, she’d spotted something shiny on the ground. Bending down to pick it up, she’d realised what it was and who it belonged to. Before she could talk herself out of it, she pocketed it, knowing that no matter who he smiled at, Hoseok’s favourite keychain with his favourite football team on it belonged to her.

“Nope. Haven’t seen it.”

Hoseok sighed loudly and dramatically, climbing the porch stairs and about to sit down, before apparently thinking better of it. He remained standing, as though afraid of being too close to her and while that would usually break Chaeyoung’s heart enough for her to cry herself to sleep, tonight she simply felt a dull throb and a whole lot of impatience for his snark.

“Why aren’t you inside?” he asked.

“I want to be outside,” she answered defiantly.

“Okayyy.”

“Chan’s talking to Cruella in there,” she muttered after a moment. The image of her brother, smiling and graciously welcoming Seoyoon into the family, made her sick. If she’d spent another moment in there, she swore she would’ve thrown up.

Hoseok scoffed. “Chan? Didn’t you get in trouble for calling him by his name?”

She flushed. “Not trouble. Just… it doesn’t matter, okay?”

“Fine. Whatever.” There was a pause. “Did you just call her Cruella?” When Chaeyoung didn’t answer, he shrugged. “Chanyeol says she’s nice.”

“Well, bully for Chanyeol.”

“God, must you whine?”

“I hate this sweater,” she said, tugging at the brand new gift her father had made her put on. “And I have to wear it because she gave it to me.”

“So? I hate these pants but my mom made me wear them.” He shrugged. “That’s life.”

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes. This was Hoseok’s new thing lately: that’s life. She didn’t know where he’d learnt it, but his eventual response to everything was “that’s life”, which irritated her beyond belief. He especially said it to her all the time, as though she was a child that needed reminding about the facts of the world, and it made her blood boil.

“She’s not my mom.”

“All moms are the same. Your mom would’ve told you to wear it, too.”

“You didn’t even know her,” she snapped.

There was a few seconds of silence as Hoseok presumably processed this, including her unusual tone. “You’re right,” he said, his tone uncharacteristically sober. “Sorry.”

Chaeyoung grit her teeth and hoped she wouldn’t cry in front of him. She would look weak and any hopes of getting him to notice her would go straight out the window. Also, Ma wasn’t here yet and she would only cry to Ma.

“Chanyeol didn’t like her at first either.”

She didn’t know if she’d heard him correctly. “What?”

“Your… Seoyoon. Cruella,” he added, an awkward sort of smile appearing for a second. “Chan didn’t like her when she first got here.”

This was news to hear. “Really? He - he told you?”

“Yeah. Said she talked weird.”

It wasn’t on the list of things that annoyed Chaeyoung, but she took it. It didn’t escape her notice that Chanyeol had failed to mention this to her while confiding in Hoseok about it, but for now, it made her feel just slightly less alone. She turned around to look in through the window again.

“He seems to like her now,” she mumbled.

“Maybe you will, too. Or he’s faking it.”

Chaeyoung snorted. It felt good to laugh for a moment, even if the situation sucked. “I hope he’s faking it.”

“Really? Why?”

She frowned. “Because… I don’t…” She didn’t know how to put it into words that she didn’t want to be the only one missing her mother. “I don’t want to be the only one who doesn’t like her.”

“Then maybe you should try to like her.”

Chaeyoung bristled. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. “I don’t want to like her.”

“But why? I mean, aren’t you glad your dad is happy?”

The way he said it, it sounded like the most obvious thing in the world. But when Chaeyoung turned around to look inside again, for the first time all night, her gaze shifted from her brother to her father. There was something heartbreaking about how happy he looked, but Chaeyoung didn’t know just how to express that while it was a nice sight, it only made her miss her mother even more.

She said nothing, though, resolving only to keep Ma her secret forever. Her dad and brother didn’t need nor want Ma, and Chaeyoung was fine not sharing.

Next to her, Hoseok sighed. “It’s cold. I’m going inside.”

All thoughts of her soon to be stepmother vanished. “Wait!” When he halted and turned around, eyebrows raised, her heart thumped against her ribcage. “Why - why are you being nice to me?”

Even in the darkness, she could see the hint of a blush on his face. But his next words wiped away any scenarios her imagination may have created. “You’re Chan’s sister,” he said, shrugging, his hands in his pockets. “I have to be nice to you.”

—

The day Hoseok left for Seoul, Chaeyoung thought she would die.

Everyone was thrilled for him, it looked like. He was going to follow his dreams, they said. His parents seemed nervous but proud, his sister called from Australia, telling him to take care of himself. Even Chanyeol, who she’d thought would be distraught since he’d be losing his best friend, was irritatingly supportive.

“He’s going to be an idol,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing. They were at the dining table in their house, a week before Hoseok was meant to leave. “He’s meant for it. Haven’t you seen him dance?”

Chaeyoung stared at him, incredulous. Seen him? She lived and breathed him - of course she knew how he could dance, that he was meant to be an idol and whatnot.

“That - that’s not my point,” she stuttered, her chopsticks feeling like water between her fingers. “How is he - his life is here. His school, his friends, his… everyone.”

Chanyeol, now sixteen, squinted at her. “He’ll make new friends. He’s good at that.”

“Yes, but he’s your best friend. Won’t you - won’t you miss him?”

He chewed his food thoughtfully. “I mean… sure. I guess. We’ll text and stuff.” He shrugged.

Chaeyoung blinked. “Text,” she repeated.

“Yeah. What’s the big deal? You’re acting like he’s dying.”

“Chaeyoung,” said Seoyoon, her voice soft and melodic, “it’s okay to miss him, too. He’s like family.”

She met her stepmother’s eyes. “Yeah. Not really what I was getting at.”

Next to her, Chanyeol rolled his eyes, while her father said her name sternly. Seoyoon simply placed a hand on his arm and muttered “it’s okay”, while Chaeyoung was left to silently resent how, out of everyone at the table, including Ma, Seoyoon was the one who had the nerve to say it out loud.

It felt like the worst thing that could happen, and it felt directly targeted at her. His parents would always be his parents, his sister had already left for Australia a year ago, and Chanyeol was his best friend in the world. Chaeyoung was none of these things, however, and it felt like if he left now, he’d be gone from her life forever.

The first night, she cried for hours. It was as though she could feel his absence next door. She fell asleep gazing at a picture of she, Chanyeol and Hoseok on her nightstand, taken during a family trip to Jeju Island. The next day at school, she walked around like a war widow, with puffy eyes and her books clutched to her chest. At lunch, she sat surrounded by her friends, feeling like they would never understand, never know true heartbreak and true pain.

A week later, things were easier. Chaeyoung made the middle school football team, just like her brother had, and after-school practice meant less time to miss the love of her life. Then exams happened, and birthday parties, and before she knew it, it was next year.

Hoseok was forgotten by no one; the Jungs came over for dinner just as often as they did before, but only two kids out of four meant that the dinner was more for the adults to stay in touch than anything else. Chanyeol got busy with applying to colleges, while Chaeyoung, for the first time, had her life laid bare in front of her. With no Chanyeol and Hoseok to follow around, her own friends, her own studies and her own life were suddenly at the forefront.

Hoseok was still on her mind, though. She looked at the picture on her bedside table every night, kept his Manchester United keychain in her backpack, and told all her friends about the day she would date an idol. “He’ll become an idol and then he’ll come back,” she said, for it seemed incredibly obvious. Her friends, no strangers to her lifelong crush, were part supportive and part envious, which only thrilled thirteen year old Chaeyoung even more.

Chanyeol was right about one thing, though. He and Hoseok texted - and only texted. She hadn’t a clue if and when they actually spoke, and she spent hours daydreaming about the day he’d call her, because as much as he pretended like he couldn’t stand her, one day he would surely wake up and realise how much he missed her. They were family, after all.

He finally did call one day - or rather, he was called. It was his seventeenth birthday, and they were at the Jungs’ house for lunch when Hoseok’s father decided to call his son, putting it on video as everyone said hello and wished him. The first thing that Chaeyoung noticed was how narrow his face was; it was unexpected, but he still looked as handsome as ever and she only hoped that he’d notice her new haircut, too.

It was chaotic; Hoseok was speaking hurriedly, saying he didn’t have much time. The phone was passed down from adult to adult, everyone wishing him and making typical grown-up comments about what a big man he was, living by himself in Seoul. The phone was then swiftly passed to Chanyeol, who simply stood up and began walking away into another room, going “Dude, you won’t believe what happened at Eunwoo’s party last week…”

Chaeyoung knew she had to wait before it was her turn - but it was just so hard. She was almost giddy with happiness; she’d missed him so much. There was so much she had to tell him and so much she wanted to know, including when he was planning to come back. But when five minutes passed and Chanyeol didn’t return, and the adults had moved to some boring topic of conversation, Chaeyoung decided to take matters into her own hands.

Hopping off her chair, she retraced her brother’s steps and found him in the pantry of the house, sitting atop a stool and laughing into the phone as he held it up in front of him. He caught her eyes above the phone and she tried to signal to him to give her the phone.

“- and it was… what?” He frowned before apparently catching on. “Oh, uh… do you, uh, want to talk to Chae? She -”

But Hoseok’s voice interrupted him, shrill through the speaker. “Oh, God, no.”

Chanyeol’s eyes flickered to his sister. “Hey, man -”

“Dude, no, not today. I’ve had a bad enough day so far,” he said, sounding more weary than ever. “Don’t make me talk to your sister right now. Let that be my birthday gift,” he quipped, clearly oblivious to how Chaeyoung stood behind the phone, frozen to the ground.

“Oh, um…” Chanyeol sighed, tilting his head sympathetically at his sister as Hoseok said a hurried goodbye. “Yeah, yeah… have a good day.” There was a beep and the call ended. Chanyeol took a few moments before meeting Chaeyoung’s eyes again.

“I don’t - I don’t understand,” she said, feeling like her voice wasn’t even hers, like it was coming from somewhere else. “Why - why doesn’t he want to talk to me?”

Chanyeol opened his mouth but seemed to think better of it, standing up and moving to walk past her. “Just ignore it. Come on, let’s go back -”

“No, wait.” She stopped him. “Tell me. I - I thought… I thought he missed home. You said he missed being home,” she repeated, hearing her voice tremble. “Why didn’t he want to talk to me?” And why did it look like you understood?

“Chae, just - just let it go, alright?”

“No! I’m his family! Why doesn’t he want to -”

“Because you’re telling everyone that you’re his family!” Chanyeol blurted, looking fed up. “Jesus, Chae! Everyone knows you have a crush on him, but you don’t have to make it so damn public!”

Her face reddened. “I don’t have a crush on -”

“Oh, please. It was okay when you were younger but then you started following him around school and stuff… come on, can you blame him for being embarrassed?”

Chaeyoung shook her head. Nothing he was saying was making sense. “What are you talking about? He wasn’t embarrassed, he was - he was shy. He didn’t -”

“Seriously?” This time, even Chanyeol looked incredulous. “Chae, you told your friends that you were going to marry him when his crew won that inter-school competition in ninth grade. One of them told her older sister and suddenly everyone knew. You really thought that would make him shy?”

It took everything Chaeyoung had in her to not cry. “But - but he never said anything. He - he always…” But that wasn’t true. He said a lot of things. He was perpetually annoyed with her, and every time that she ever wondered why he was so sweet and sunny with everyone but her… it seemed she finally had an answer. “Why didn’t he ever tell me to stop?” she asked in a small voice.

“Because you’re my sister,” he replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “What was he going to say?”

You’re Chan’s sister. I have to be nice to you. At the time, it was proof to her of how close their families were, of how they were family. But now she realised it was none of those things, just Hoseok admitting what he and everyone else apparently knew: were it not for his best friend, Jung Hoseok would have absolutely nothing to do with Kang Chaeyoung.

She found it hard to meet her brother’s gaze. There was a stinging on her lower lip where she tasted blood, and then a stinging in her eyes. It was a time in her life when she and Chanyeol weren’t as close as they once were, and she was faced with a sudden and irrational fear that if she cried right now, he would tell Hoseok about it.

Chanyeol took a step towards her. “Chae -”

She started to shake her head when they were interrupted, and she turned to see Hoseok’s father approaching the pantry.

“There you two are,” he said cheerfully, sounding far too much like his son for Chaeyoung to handle. “I need my phone. Oh, Chanyeol, help me bring down the barbecue for tonight, come on…” He brushed past her and patted Chanyeol on the back, who nodded respectfully and made way for him. “Oh, Chaeyoung, your mother was asking where you were - there’s strawberry cream for dessert and she says it’s your favourite…”

Chaeyoung nodded in a daze, turning away from Chanyeol and walking out of the room. The dining area felt miles away and every step made her feel like she was on a treadmill. Finally, after what seemed like ages, she reached the dining table and took her seat. She ignored Seoyoon when she offered her dessert, her eyes on her empty plate the whole time. Even when Chanyeol returned and tried to get her to look at him, muttering “Chae? Are you okay?”, she simply nodded once but didn’t dare look at him.

That night, the first thing Chaeyoung did when she went to her room was take out the picture from the frame on her bedside table and slip it into one of her books. She hunted through every photo album she had and finally chose a picture of her with the rest of her football team, a group of thirteen year old girls holding up small gold trophies and grinning into the camera.

It felt like a step in the right direction, for if she needed to stop embarrassing Hoseok, it needed to begin right here in her bedroom. As she stared at the picture, trying to talk herself into liking it, into realising that these girls, her friends, were more important than a guy who wouldn’t even let her wish him a happy birthday, she felt the first sob wrack through her body.

She imagined what Ma would say. Ma didn’t appear to her like she did before; it was just her voice now, saying things that Chaeyoung wanted to hear. Right now, she imagined Ma would tell her that Hoseok hated her, that there was no point loving someone who hated her. He’s only nice to you because of Chanyeol, she said, her voice soothing and familiar. So why are you nice to him?

“Because he’s perfect,” she cried softly, feeling like her heart would break. She’d never felt this horrible, she knew. Even Chanyeol couldn’t make this better; in fact, he’d only made it worse. How long had he known? How could he have gone all this time, knowing what he did, and continue letting her make a fool of herself? Did he laugh about her with Hoseok? Did she embarrass him, too?

She thought of her father, how he’d sigh at her every time she got into trouble at school. How he and Chanyeol would both give her a look when she didn’t fake it with the stepmother. Hoseok’s face as he rolled his eyes floated through her mind. It was a kick in the gut as she thought it: How many people was she disappointing at once?

—

Bangtan Sonyeondan was a cool name. It was a fact, and even though Chaeyoung was very careful to not let it show on her face, their debut single was really cool.

Chanyeol’s class had long graduated by now. Chaeyoung, at fifteen, was at the peak of her school career so far. While she’d been initially wary of Chanyeol graduating, leaving her completely alone for the first time, it turned out to be just what she’d needed to step out of his shadow once and for all. No one had forgotten him, but they remembered just enough to know she was.

Everyone in the school knew when Hoseok debuted. It was a huge point of pride for the school that one of their former students was now an idol and for a good few weeks, every single person in the school was humming No More Dream. It was catchy as hell, and Hoseok was amazing in it - not that Chaeyoung was noticing.

Ever since the phone call that was not meant to be, Chaeyoung had attempted to distance herself from everything Jung Hoseok. It was the hardest thing in the world at first, but eventually real life took precedence over daydreams, studies took importance over doodling his name, and her real friends ended up being more fun to hang out with than a fictionalised version of him in her mind.

Once she’d managed to let him go, she’d been pleasantly surprised to find how much of a life she was able to have outside of him. It turned out that, for the most part, people seemed to like her. In one of her birthday cards, the most frequent words used by people was “fun” - she was fun, apparently. She wasn’t sure what exactly that meant, until one day in ninth grade when she’d convinced a few friends to skip a class. They’d gotten away with it, and she’d been hailed as “so fun”.

Life continued, fun and everything. Chanyeol left Gwangju for Seoul when he went to college and, she imagined, got back in touch with Hoseok. She still texted her brother reasonably often, whenever they had the time. Now that they’d reached a certain age and stage of their own lives, their initial relationship had started to become slightly more distant.

It wasn’t something that even occurred to Chaeyoung except for in certain moments, like their mother’s birthday. On those days, she missed Chanyeol more than anything. To his credit, he was mostly there for her when she needed him, but to her credit, she tried not to need him too much.

A few months before her sixteenth birthday, Hoseok returned to Gwangju for three days. It was a huge deal, for he’d apparently had to negotiate a lot for even those days off. Chanyeol was back then, too, and naturally both families wanted to make the best of it.

Despite the fact that Chaeyoung, for all intents and purposes, was over her crush on Hoseok by now, it still evoked a sense of quiet excitement in her stomach. She didn’t seek him out, but she made sure not to leave her room until she was perfectly dressed and her hair was impeccable, ready to breeze past him without a care in the world, determined to show him how much she’d grown without him.

As it turned out, she didn’t see him that morning. She didn’t see him that evening after school, or that night. In fact, she didn’t see him all weekend; Hoseok seemed to have a ton of friends to visit, and he and Chanyeol were gone for practically the entire time.

Chaeyoung wished she’d just catch a glimpse of him - not because she missed him or anything, but because the longer it took to see him, the higher the anticipation got. She’d managed to put their last humiliating not-interaction to the back of her mind eventually, but the longer she waited to see him, the more she ended up reliving it.

On Hoseok’s last night, there was a dinner at the Jungs. Unlike the last time he left for Seoul, when no one knew what his future would hold, this time he was leaving as a successful debuted idol. The dinner, therefore, was more of a farewell party, with a few more of his friends invited, all of whom Chaeyoung remembered from school.

Chaeyoung tried her hardest to stay out of everyone’s way. She didn’t trust herself around Hoseok, particularly because now that he was here, actually in the flesh, she was begrudgingly being reminded of everything that she’d once loved about him.

Don’t go down that rabbit hole, Chae, Ma said, as Chaeyoung hovered near the kitchen, nibbling at her nails. Hoseok had brushed past her once or twice, giving her a perfunctory “hi” which only served to make her feel ridiculous, because it was clear that he wasn’t devoting even a fraction of the mind space to her that she was to him.

Towards the end of the night, given that it was a Sunday, Chaeyoung knew that she would be sent home soon. It was a school night and the older kids were chattering about going out for a while longer, so she knew that if she didn’t speak to Hoseok now, there would be no telling if she’d ever be able to get this out.

Finally, around ten pm, when she saw him go upstairs to his room, she followed him. She tried hard to ensure that no one saw her but when she finally reached his doorway, she realised that none of it mattered because she had no idea what to say.

Chaeyoung cleared her throat. “Hoseok oppa?” she said gingerly.

He whipped around, turning away from the bag he seemed to be packing. She didn’t fail to notice how his face fell when he realised who it was; she tried not to let that get to her.

“Uh… what are you doing here?” he asked, sounding almost wary. His eyes darted around the room as though expecting to get caught by someone.

“I just wanted to say hi,” she managed, her heart racing. He looked… incredible. Nineteen became him. He looked thin but fit, and his hair was cut stylishly so it fell across his forehead. Swallowing, she continued. “And… I wanted to apologise.”

“Uh, okay - look. You’re in my room. Anyone can see you,” he informed her. “So you should probably -“ He gave her a knowing nod and gestured towards the door.

It stung, but she held her ground, stepping inside his room and shutting the door behind her. Leaning back against it, she exhaled. “Is that better?”

Hoseok’s look of pure horror was enough to tell her that it was, in fact, not better, but she’d had enough distractions now.

“Look, I don’t need too much of your time. I just…” She looked at her feet, trying to find the courage to continue. “I wanted to… apologise,” she said finally.

Hoseok frowned. “For what?” he asked suspiciously.

“For… everything? I guess.” She swallowed, forcing herself to continue looking up at him. “It was brought to my attention a while back that I may have… embarrassed you.” She paused as the words settled around them, having said it out loud for the first time ever. “I know I was probably a bit annoying and I didn’t - I wasn’t very… cool.”

Hoseok looked more confused than anything now and she couldn’t blame him, for she didn’t think she was making any sense either. But he hadn’t asked her to leave yet, which was more encouragement than she could hope for.

“Honestly, when I think back to some of the things I did…” She trailed off for a moment, shaking her head. “I cringe a little bit. Okay, that’s a lie. I cringe a lot.”

He nodded slowly, and she didn’t know if she’d imagined the fleeting look of amusement on his face.

“So, anyway. I’m sorry.”

“Okay.”

Huh. Chaeyoung didn’t know what else she was expecting, but his tone made it pretty clear that their heart to heart was over. “Okay, then. I’ll just… go.” She turned to open the door, only to see about four of his friends standing right outside. Chanyeol wasn’t one of them. They were clearly waiting for Hoseok, possibly giving him privacy because of the closed door, but the moment one of them spotted her, his eyes went wide.

“Oh, my -”

“Oh, God,” muttered Hoseok from behind her.

“Dude.” A second guy, Hyungmin, seemed to smile in slow motion, as though he was suddenly uncovering some huge joke. He nudged the first guy and snorted. “The happy couple is back!”

Chaeyoung wrinkled her nose. “What?”

But her voice was drowned out among the hoots, all loud and obnoxious. She turned back to Hoseok, possibly for an explanation, only to see him rolling his eyes before he suddenly glared at her.

“I don’t even know what she’s doing here,” he said stonily, and her heart skipped a confused beat.

“What? I -”

“Hey, Chan, get up here!” One of the other guys interrupted her, leaning over the railing and shouting into the house. “You’ll never guess who was in Hobi’s room - with the door closed!”

“Dude, he’s gonna kill him,” snickered Hyungmin, giving Hoseok a mock-sympathetic look.

“Alright, isn’t this joke, like, a million years old?” he asked, sounding thoroughly unimpressed.

“It was, but now she’s getting hot and all,” said the third guy, whom Chaeyoung only remembered as the one who was invited because he had a car. He gave her a side glance and raised an eyebrow. “Now it means all kinds of -

“Dude, what the fuck?” Hoseok groaned, while Hyungmin slapped his shoulder with the back of his hand and hissed, “She’s a kid.”

“Well, she doesn’t look like -”

“Chan is going to kill you if you don’t -”

“Hey, what’s going on up there?” Chanyeol’s voice floated up, interrupting everyone. “Are we leaving or what?”

There was a momentary pause when it seemed as though no one knew how to respond. Then Hoseok rolled his eyes and strode out of the room. “Come on, let’s go,” he muttered, and fortunately, his friends followed his lead. As he passed Chaeyoung, he glared at her.

“How do you manage to ruin everything?” he hissed. “I told you to get out of my room.”

“I - I know.” Chaeyoung heard her voice tremble. “I didn’t think they would -”

“Really? Because it’s so different from what they’ve been doing the last ten years?” He gave her another exasperated look, like she wasn’t worth his time. “Why can’t you just disappear?” he muttered, knocking into her shoulder as he left the room.

Chaeyoung stayed there for a minute, humiliated, her feet rooted to the floor. She didn’t know whether it was his friend’s comments about her, the way they were talking about her like she wasn’t right there in front of them, or whether, after all these years, Hoseok had finally told her the truth.

Why can’t you just disappear?

She glanced into his room again, her eyes running over the taped posters on the wall, the folded bed sheets, a set of clothes draped neatly over the chair. She’d come here in hopes of maybe moving past everything that had caused him to avoid her all these years. Now, she wished she hadn’t said anything at all.

Chaeyoung rushed home after that, not wanting to wait for Seoyoon to croon over at her to do so. She didn’t think anyone even noticed; she ran out the front door, glad for the empty hallway from where she could hear everyone else in the dining room. The night was dark and chilly, and she hopped over the short fence to her front yard, slamming her door behind her before hurrying upstairs.

She wouldn’t cry this time, she vowed, even as she wiped angry tears forming of their own accord. She was sick of it, sick of everything. She was sick of those stupid friends Chanyeol still hung out with, she was sick of how Hoseok instantly became a different person when it came to her, she was sick of her stepmother, her family - but most of all, she completely sick of how, even after all these years, the things Hoseok said still had the ability to hurt her.

She hadn’t grown up at all, clearly. Nothing had changed. She would forever hold a candle for her brother’s best friend, even if, until two days ago, she’d been somewhat preoccupied by the fact that Nam Sehun from the other section had a rumoured crush on her.

She looked up from where she was sitting at the corner of her bed when she heard a faint sound of laughter and a shout. Dragging her feet to the window, she saw a car pull out from the Jungs’ driveway, music emanating from it until it screeched to a sudden stop.

“Hurry up, man!” One of the guys shouted as another leapt out of the car, scurrying back to the house. The party must be over. Before she knew it, everyone else would be back home.

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes and stepped away from the window, too tired to care. As she stripped and retrieved an old t-shirt and pajamas from the closet, she found herself feeling more and more stupid by the second. She’d made more of an effort than she’d realised apparently; even the bra she was wearing was something she’d purposely picked out, possibly in an effort to show Hoseok that she’d grown up - except it hadn’t worked, and the only person who seemed to notice it was Chanyeol’s creepy friend.

Pulling on her clothes, she trudged to the bed, ready to nurse another broken heart and fall asleep forever, when she heard a knock.

“Fuck,” she whispered, not in the mood to face her stepmother and her fake concern right now. The knock sounded again and she swore under her breath. “No one’s home,” she called, hoping she’d take the hint.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s true,” said the voice outside, and Chaeyoung felt a jolt in her stomach. She walked over and opened the door gingerly to see Hoseok, quite possibly the last person she’d ever expected to see outside her room. It suddenly occurred to her how much taller he was; it vaguely intimidated her, until he bit his lip and sighed, looking at the floor.

Chaeyoung was about to ask what he was doing here, but something in his posture made her want to wait him out. So she continued standing there, one hand on her hip and the other on her door.

Hoseok’s eyes flickered up to her and he opened his mouth before he seemingly noticed something behind her. “A colour-changing lava lamp?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Is that a high school girl thing?”

She stared. “You’re wearing a snapback at night. Is that a Seoul thing?”

He paused before sighing and taking it off. “I knew it looked stupid,” he muttered, ruffling his messy black hair.

“No, it doesn’t,” she said automatically, wincing slightly at how desperate she sounded. It was too hard to think straight around him. “I - what are you doing here?” she asked, slightly nervous. “Aren’t you afraid your friends will see you in my room?”

“Uh, no. They’re downstairs.”

She nodded. “That’s… good thinking.”

There was an awkward silence where neither of them looked at each other and for the first time in her life, she wished Hoseok would leave her alone.

“Look, um…” Hoseok began slowly, as though every word was taking a great effort. “About before… I know you were just trying to apologise. I shouldn’t have…” He looked up, as though hoping for a prompt. When he received none, he sighed again. “I’m sorry.”

“Okay.” Chaeyoung nodded.

“Right.” After a moment, he spoke again. “Also… Joonho’s an ass.”

She bit her lip and folded her arms across her chest, a little protectively. “Yeah.”

“Anyway… I just came to say that.” He gestured vaguely behind him. “I should head.”

“Sure.”

He turned around halfway before pausing again, squinting slightly at her. “You do understand why I got mad, right? I mean, this wasn’t just about tonight. But it’s like every time that you’re around -”

“Yeah, I understand,” she said quickly, gritting her teeth. The more she looked at him, the less it looked like he cared at all. He didn’t care. He had no idea how much she’d loved him when she was younger, he had no idea how much she regretted her behaviour now, and he had no idea how humiliating it was to stand here and realise that she had no idea who he was at all.

Hoseok looked a little taken aback at her interruption. “Oh? Okay. Uh, good, then.”

“M-hm.”

“I’m gonna go.”

“You do that.”

This time when he turned to leave, Chaeyoung stopped him. “Oppa, wait.” She went to her desk and rifled through a drawer, feeling the cool metal against her fingers before bringing out the object. “I think this is yours,” she said, handing it to him.

He extended his hand automatically, frowning as she dropped it into his palm. “Is this -” He squinted at it. “Oh, my God. This is my keychain.”

“Yeah.” She cleared her throat, feeling distinctly lighter all of a sudden.

“I lost it years ago.” He looked up at her. “How - how did you find it?”

“Oh, I - I found it in a box of stuff, in the attic.” She shrugged and folded her arms across her chest again. “You must have dropped it here, I guess.”

“Wow.” He nodded, looking slightly more chipper as he shoved the keychain into his pocket. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” A sudden honk sounded outside and it felt like it was reverberating through her chest. “You should go.”

“Yeah.” He raised a hand halfway, like he was saying goodbye to someone he met in line at a bookstore. “See you around, Chae.”

“See you.” She stepped forward to shut the door, watching him walk out of her room and out of her house. Before she could lose her nerve, she spoke again. “The new single is… really cool.”

He was almost at the foot of the stairs when he stopped and looked up at her. For the first time in her memory, Hoseok smiled at her, a real, genuine smile. It was like the sun had come out, and as he thanked her and continued on his way, it occurred to Chaeyoung that it was quite possibly the only time she’d ever see it.

—

That night was the last time Chaeyoung saw Hoseok for several years. She heard from his parents that he barely had time to eat or sleep, let alone come back to visit his family. He did return for a weekend once, but she’d been away on a school trip with her football team at the time. Apart from that, Hoseok was as far out of her life as was possible.

When she was seventeen, Chaeyoung entered her first relationship. He asked her out by the water cooler after a week of rumours, and their tryst lasted a whole month until she broke up with him in the biology lab, feeling rather smothered by how he insisted on showing up at all her football practices. He didn’t take it well and responded with rumours of his own, following which Chaeyoung’s reputation began preceding her.

Her seventeenth birthday party took place a month before she graduated high school and since she was leaving Gwangju, an unexpected nostalgia caused her to invite every single person she knew. A month later she graduated along with her friends, partied for a week straight until she spent the rest of the summer waiting until she could leave for college in Busan. She did the same a year later for her eighteenth birthday, and since it occurred in the summer, all her friends were back in Gwangju and able to attend.

As it turned out, the only thing remaining that could ensure that Chaeyoung lived her own life with no ties to her brother was leaving Gwangju. In college, she had the opportunity to be who she was. Everyone was figuring it out, and she joined them. She paid attention to the classes she liked, spent nights in the library and in dorms as people quizzed each other, went on weekend trips, had boyfriends, joined college clubs - everything that gave her the satisfaction that she’d made the best out of her college years.

The most stressful time of those years came right at the end, when everyone was applying for jobs. After months of gruelling essays, internships and interviews, Chaeyoung managed to get what she considered her dream job. Her father wasn’t too certain about it; he said it didn’t “sound like a real job” but after her stepmother pitched in during their video call and persuaded him to give it a chance, he gave in.

Chaeyoung didn’t care; it gave her the same vibes as her favourite English movie, The Devil Wears Prada. Condé Nast wasn’t a magazine per se but her job wasn’t exactly that of a secretary either; the role simply said research and while she would’ve liked it to be a bit more specific - maybe columnist - she was willing to pay her dues, especially if it meant getting to live in Seoul, not wearing boring formal clothes to work and possibly working with some truly fancy brands like GQ or Vogue someday.

Moving to Seoul was less romantic than she’d expected; it was a busy, expensive city and no one had time to stop and take a breath, let alone help out a twenty-one year old who’d just moved to the city.

It’s all part of the experience, her inner voice said to her, the one she’d dubbed Ma when she was little. It was less of a coping mechanism and more of a conscience now, and it was what convinced her to move into an apartment in Hongdae with a senior she’d known back in college.

Sungmi was nice and all, but she intimated Chaeyoung a little bit. Her many piercings, her abrupt way of talking and her strange sense of humour always had Chaeyoung on edge. She also had this boyfriend who smelled perpetually of weed and had a cousin he frequently invited over, making it not the ideal living arrangement. Still, even Chaeyoung had to admit that despite the aesthetics, Sungmi had been living in Seoul by herself for nearly a year and was holding onto a good job at a catering company. Most importantly, she was offering her spare room at really low rent, something Chaeyoung was currently giving top priority to.

Plus, the best thing about Sungmi’s apartment was the parties.

“Get, um…” Sungmi moves away from the speaker and asks someone something. “Everything,” she says finally. “Just make sure there’s Absinthe and Bacardi in it and we’ll be good. I’m trusting you, Chaeyoung,” she adds knowingly, abruptly hanging up.

Faced with a plethora of bottles before her in the liquor store, Chaeyoung sighs. She isn’t even fully sure what this party is for, except that vodka and rum are required in large quantities.

“Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder, I guess,” she mutters, holding the plastic basket up as she scans the shelves, feeling a strange sense of responsibility towards her older roommate’s expectations.

Meanwhile, Jung Hoseok is near the fridges, rattling off the different beer brands to Jimin on the phone.

“I feel like wheat beer,” says Jimin thoughtfully, “but think about the calories.” He pauses as someone says something at his end. “And Taehyung wants that fruity soju.” He whines as Taehyung says something else loudly. “Okay, specifically green apple.”

Hoseok stands there, motionless, as Jimin goes through a minor Friday evening crisis. “Got it. Now, Jimin, you have about thirty seconds to make your decision before I leave this place. Beer-less.”

The younger member sighs heavily. “Alright, just get me a six pack of Corona,” he says finally, as though with a huge effort. “It’s always safe.”

Hoseok closes his eyes and counts to five in his mind, hoping he won’t snap at Jimin for wasting his time debating some random Swedish beer before ultimately deciding on Corona. “Will do.” He hangs up.

Once he has everything, he goes through the list on his phone again, hurriedly making sure he has everything for everyone. As he reaches the end of the list, he realises there’s only one thing remaining.

He spots a clerk at the end of the aisle and looks away. He’s managed so far without being recognised; he’d like to keep it that way for as long as possible. He shuffles towards the spirits, peering at the names and hoping the bottle appears all of a sudden when finally - finally - he spots the green label, the only one of its kind.

“Thank god,” he whispers and reaches for it, the same time as another hand wraps around the bottle. He flinches and withdraws his hand immediately before turning to see the only other person in the entire liquor who could possibly need Absinthe.

Something clicks in Hoseok’s brain, like a track being slowed down in post-production. “Wait…”

She raises her eyebrows. “You really don’t recognise me?”

Hoseok chuckles. It’s too unbelievable. “Dude, I think I saw you at more family dinners than my sister. Wow, Chaeyoung,” he says, taking a step back to look at her. Is she taller? “You look… older.”

“I am. Significantly. And you look…” Chaeyoung frowns and bites her lip, as though searching for something. “… blonder.” She nods as he reaches for his cap and pulls it down further over his head, tucking the few loose strands under the cloth.

“Yeah, that’s… work.” There’s a few seconds of awkward silence that makes Hoseok uncomfortable. They were never friends, but he can’t remember ever being this… unsettled around her. It’s almost like she’s a work acquaintance he’s run into, not the kid he grew up next door to.

He realises he hasn’t said anything and immediately scrambles. “Uh, so… what are you doing here? Wait, what are you doing here?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a liquor store. I mean, you’re - you drink?”

“Yeah… I’m twenty-one. Almost twenty-two.” She bites her lips and shakes her head. “I don’t know why I said that. I just turned twenty-one.”

It takes Hoseok a moment to process this. She certainly looks older…

“Wow. Twenty-one.”

“I know.” Chaeyoung looks around before her gaze lands on the bottle still in her hand. “Oh, you can have this.”

“Oh, that’s alright. I don’t need it.”

She raises her eyebrows. “No? You don’t need it for, like… a famous person party?”

He chuckles awkwardly. “Oh, no. A friend of ours, Nari, is coming over tonight and she was the only one who wanted Absinthe.”

“Oh, then you can take it for Nari.”

“Nah, she just wants to get hammered,” he replies, shaking his head. “That can be done with anything. She doesn’t get time off from her job so when she does, she likes to go all out and that includes, unfortunately, a lot of vodka, but I’m sure whiskey would do the trick just as -“ He breaks off when he notices Chaeyoung’s tilted head and slight frown.

“I’ll take it,” she says after a moment. “My roommate’s having a party tonight. Many people need to get hammered with this.”

“Roommate, nice. Wait, are you living in Seoul?”

She nods. “Yeah. Just moved here.”

Too much is happening for Hoseok to process in one trip to the liquor store. “You -“ He pauses. “Does Chanyeol know?” he asks in a low voice.

Chaeyoung chuckles. “Yeah, he knows. My dad knows, too.”

It’s the first glimpse he’s seen so far of the old Chaeyoung, the deliberate omission of her stepmother. But he knows better than to acknowledge it. “Wow, you - you really grew up.”

She gives him an odd look and opens her mouth to say something but then closes it, as though changing her mind. “I did,” she agrees.

Hoseok knows he should be saying something more, maybe offering something - for Chanyeol’s sake. But what is he meant to say to someone he can barely recognise? She’s actually taller, from what he can remember. Her hair isn’t in ponytails anymore and she’s standing differently, too, somehow…

But before he can wrack his brain for the right words, Chaeyoung takes a deep breath.

“I should go.” She holds up the bottle of Absinthe. “Thanks for this.”

“Oh, of course,” he says, nodding and stepping aside. As she brushes past him, he frowns again: is she wearing perfume? Chaotic, skinned-knee, football-playing Chaeyoung?

But the moment passes him and so does Chaeyoung. Before leaving, she raises a hand halfway. “It was nice running into you, Hoseok.”

“Yeah,” he says softly, watching her for a moment as he tries to put his finger on why everything seems so strange. His phone pings then, though, and he remembers the errand he was running. He needs to find an alternative to Absinthe now and move on from one of the more surreal experiences of his life.

He takes a couple of steps forward before something else clicks, and he can finally put his finger on at least one thing.

“Wait,” he says slowly, turning around but not even really trying to spot her near the check-out line. “What did you call me?”

—

Thank you for reading. Don’t forget to drop a review :)

#hoseok x oc #hoseok x reader #hoseok fanfic #hobi x reader #hobi fanfic #btswritingcafe #thebtswritersclub #btshoneyhive #bangtanbathhouse #bangtanwhq #houseofddaeng #btscarnivalnet #kvanity #bangtanoasis #wkcnet #j-hope fanfic #hyunglinenetwork

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