#i'm really sorry i forget my tumblr exists
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And Who Are We At The End Of The World? - The Best Welcome Party
Chapter 14/? - - - Read it on AO3
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Word Count: 11,681
Summary: With Eddie conscious for the first time since "the earthquake," a lot has to happen. Notably, he needs to be questioned by the Hawkins Police. But, of course, there may just be a little bit to check on before they deal with that responsibility...
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At Steve’s house, everyone was still milling around after he and Lucas left. Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair still had a lot of stuff they needed to wrap their head around, and Nancy and Robin were feeling a little stir-crazy in the busy house, so they got an idea. They could run back to their houses, take showers, get changed, and then take off to ask the drama and band directors for their statements on Eddie.
Which would both get them out of the stressful atmosphere of Steve’s living room and give them something to do. And having something to do about how hopeless everything felt seemed to be the only way to get through it.
So, the two of them stuck around just long enough to make Hop sit down with them and agree to be a source. And to grab a couple of quotes so it’d sound like his words, and if anyone bugged him about it he knew what to say. A little bit here about “All kids find their own outlets for rebellion, I’ve pulled over almost every student who’s gone through that high school at least once since I’ve been here.” A line to specify “But Eddie Munson’s never been a very big thorn in my side. Can’t see him having done all this without a good motive. Which nobody’s been able to find.” And then they just rounded it out with a note about circumstantial evidence and there not being enough of anything to make sense to pin it on him. All according to a guy who used to be the city's chief of police.
Then they were able to drive off for their next steps, Nancy obviously the one behind the wheel and dropping Robin off before she went back to her place.
When Nancy got back to her house her dad was, thankfully, back at work. So it was just Holly and Amber sitting around a plastic tea set in the living room while Amber’s mom watched the news. She was able to head right on upstairs without much fuss.
But, while it didn’t take long for Nancy to take care of her own business, Robin had a bit more of a headache to deal with.
Her mom was again not happy she ran off, but it was easier to settle her down when Robin had her call Steve’s house and a parent answered. Joyce had confirmed that there had been chaperones there all night, and there were a whole bunch of them over, not just Steve and Robin alone. As if that would’ve meant anything anyway. But one phone call later and she was able to slip away and clean up so she could get to her plans with Nancy.
When she climbed out of the shower, however, she was interrupted by her mother calling for her.
“Robin!”
The girl was squeezing a towel around the ends of her hair to pull the water out - she hadn’t washed her hair, but the ends got damp anyway - and she yelled back,“ Uh, yeah?”
“You’ve got a call!”
Robin considered trying to run to the wall phone half-dressed or letting her mom try to stall with small talk as she pulled on her jeans. She decided she didn’t really like either option,“ Just tell Nancy I’ll be ready for pickup whenever she gets here!”
“It’s not a Nancy!” Theresa said from the kitchen as Robin reached for her shirt,“ It’s a Vickie!”
And all at once, she felt her heart jump to her throat. She threw on the shirt, haphazardly yelling,“ I’ll be right there!”
Once she got the article over her head, she yanked it down and barreled out of the bathroom. Quickly stealing the phone from her mother’s hands and turning the corner away to be further away from her mother’s listening ears.
“Heeyyy…” She started. But, no way, that sounded so awkward. She coughed and tried again,” I mean, hey. Hey, Vickie. How are- How are you?”
“Hi, hi, and hi to you too, Robin,” she said with a light fluttery giggle that made Robin’s heart seize again,” I’m good. And you are?”
“Good! I am good also.”
Robin was failing at this, right? She was failing at their first phone call. She was all jumpy, and too excited, and not saying words in the right order, and she had to sound so ridiculous-
But she pushed through it anyway. Digging her nails into her palm to try and keep herself from getting all high-pitched from the nerves, she said,” So, uh, how’d you… track me down?”
“Looked you up in the phone book. There aren’t any other Buckleys in town, you know.” Vickie said it like it was obvious.
Because it kind of was. It was how Robin would’ve found Vickie’s number if she had felt so bold. Maybe if she and Steve had been able to find an hour alone, he would’ve built her up to it. But receiving the phone call felt pretty great too.
“Yeah, yeah.” Robin confirmed the very normal behavior,” So, did you need anything or- or what had you calling little ol’ me today?”
“I, um, sorta thought we could hang out? It was fun spending time with you at the high school the other day, and I’d like to do it some more. Unless you didn’t think it was fun and, instead, I’m just the kind of girl who’s nice for company when there’s literally no one else to talk to, and in that case, I’ll just hang up, and we don’t have to talk about this-”
“No!” Robin leaped in to correct Vickie’s unfounded concern,“ No, no, no, I do not think that. I would like to hang out. With you. Too. I had fun on Saturday too. So, yeah, I’d really like to make some plans to spend time together again.”
And there was Vickie’s cute little fluttery giggle again,“ Cool. Um, I know things are still sort of crazy in town, but my parents would give me the keys to the car if you wanted to come up with an errand to run or something, and we could get some lunch after?”
“Yeah, that sounds great. I’d love to- like to do that-”
Calm down, Robin, don’t freak her out.
And, just as Robin was taming her excitement, she remembered she was already expecting a girl to come by,” Oh, yeah... I kind of had plans to help Nance with something…”
Vickie got a little quieter,“ Oh, well, we can raincheck if you want to-”
“No! I, um… actually, if you wanted to help, we were going to talk to Mr. Thompson.”
“The band director?” the girl asked.
“Well, him and Ms. Reynolds. We wanted to get, like, a statement on Eddie’s character from them. See if they had anything nice to say for an article about how he didn’t do it.”
“Oh,” Vickie said it like she was trying to understand the idea. And that made sense. She wasn’t on the inside team, so she didn’t know everything they did. Didn’t know Eddie that well. She’s just been knee-deep in rumors the whole time.
So Robin supplied,“ Which, by the way, he didn’t. It’s a long story, but we were with him pretty much the whole time, and it was actually Jason! Not Eddie, and-”
“Jason? Jason Carver?”
“Yeah. Like I said, it’s a long story, and I can tell you some more about it later, but Eddie really is innocent. I swear. Thing is, even when he wakes up and can explain everything to get the police to drop the charges, a lot of people probably won’t believe it. They’ll say stuff about how he got away with it and make his life a living... nightmare," she barely caught herself from saying 'hell'. A mistake she usually didn't have much trouble avoiding, but she was just so focused on Vickie that she almost missed it," Anyway, Nancy wanted to write something for the school paper to help show people he’s a good guy.
“And he is? A good guy, I mean.” Vickie still asked, though she was beginning to sound like she believed it.
“Yeah. He is.” Robin asserted,” And, since we’re both in band, if you wanted to come, we could probably divide and conquer faster. We can check with Mr. Thompson, and she can go to Ms. Reynolds. So that could be our errand and then get some lunch after.”
“Then, yeah, I’d love to help. You sure Nancy will be okay with me just kinda hijacking you at the last minute?”
“Oh yeah! Definitely. I’ll just let her know what’s going on, and we can all meet up after to share notes.”
“Sounds good. You want to get together now, or do you want me to head over later?”
“Now’s fine. I just got done getting ready to head out with her anyway, so I am all good to go. I can give you the address-”
“It’s in the yellow pages right below the phone number.”
Robin nodded to herself,“ Yes, of course, it is, duh. Then I will see you in a few.”
“See you then, Robin.”
“Bye, Vickie.”
Robin bit into her bottom lip under her wide grin as she hung up the phone. It took everything in her to not stomp around her feet to get all the joyous energy out. Her cheeks were probably bright pink, and her hair had to be a mess, and she’d have to be sneaky to throw on some mascara and her favorite rings before she got out the door if she wanted to look even a little put together.
But it was Vickie. It was Vickie inviting her out for the day. It almost actually sounded like a date. And Robin dared to consider that Vickie’s voice and tone seemed like she knew how it sounded...
Which was insane. She still never thought the chance was real. Even after they volunteered together, and Steve tried so hard to hype her up, she was half-convinced that nothing would come of it besides his false hope. But it was real. And now she had something to work for.
And it was still scary.
But she tried to focus on what Steve told her between all his insisting that Vickie really liked her.
“Be yourself, and all that junk.”
Robin’s own advice thrown back at her. So Robin was just going to have to try to focus on being herself. And all that junk.
Worst-case scenario, she’ll at least be able to tease Steve about the fact that his idea was ridiculous and didn’t work. Which felt like a security blanket, honestly. At the end of the day, if the whole thing went horribly, she'd still find some way to laugh about it with her best friend...
“What was it?” her mother asked from around the corner where she had been reading the newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee that they both knew was mostly creamer.
Robin poked her head over to look at her and attempted to settle herself to answer casually,“ Oh! Vickie’s just gonna help me and Nance with something! We’re going to head out in a bit and ask the band teacher a few questions.”
“The band teacher? Mr. Thompson?” Theresa asked folding and setting down the paper on the kitchen table as she leaned back in the chair.
But even Robin could tell her mother must have done everything she could to eavesdrop. Probably sat so still that the chair didn’t squeak, didn’t drink from her mug so she could listen, and held the paper in loose fingers so it didn’t crinkle the whole time... So she already knew all about what she was asking about. Why they needed to play around it, Robin never understood, but they did. It’s what they did. If they didn’t - if Robin tried to skip the unnecessary explanation - it would turn into a conversation about her manners.
So, instead, Robin confirmed,“ Yeah, Mr. Thompson,” and waited for the next question.
“What do you girls need him for?”
“Well, Eddie was in the school band for a few years. Didn’t do pep band or anything, but Mr. Thompson should still know him.” she clarified,” So we wanted to see if he had anything nice to say about him for an article on Eddie’s innocence. Make sure he doesn’t get mounted on a stake in the town square the minute the police unlock his cuffs.”
Her mother nodded along and took another sip of her coffee,“ Alright. Make sure you’re home tonight or tell me ahead of time if something changes. Before it gets dark out so I know I don’t need to worry.”
“I will, Mom.”
Her mother began to pick back up her newspaper and held out an open hand. The signal Robin always returned by blowing a kiss that she’d pretend to snap her hand around and pat into her chest. Which was another comfort. That was also their thing. Besides any tenseness or misunderstandings, once things settled Robin’s mother would always silently ask for a kiss. And Robin would always send one her way.
And just as Robin was bounding back to the bathroom to brush out her hair and try to doll herself up, at least a little bit, the doorbell rang.
“Wow, Vickie must’ve been pretty close,” Theresa commented from her newspaper.
But when Robin opened the door, it wasn’t Vickie on her front doorstep, but Nancy.
Nancy lit up when she was met with the other girl, a light bounce on her feet that had her curls spring on her shoulders,“ Ready to go?”
“Oh, Nance….” Robin said as she realized she didn’t even have time to try and call ahead to let her know about the change in plans.
“Yes?” Nancy’s eyes brows quirked, and her smile went a little nervous,” Should I be hurt by that reaction?”
“No! Um, I just got a call from Vickie,” she began to explain.
Though, just that on its own didn’t mean much to Nancy.
“Vickie?”
“Yeah! She wanted to help out with the teachers.”
“She did?” Nancy asked.
She found that a little hard to believe, considering the two of them only just got the idea the night before themselves. How did Vickie Nelson hear about it, and why does she care all that much? Clearing Eddie’s name was their business. Not hers.
But Robin just simply smiled back,“ Yeah! So I thought it’d be faster if we split up! She and I could scope out the band director - since he already knows us so well - and you can take care of Ms. Reynolds with no problem. And then we can share the info later and see how useful any of it might be.”
“Oh.”
“That okay?”
Nancy wasn’t trying to seem sour about it. She wasn’t trying to guilt trip her or make a big deal out of it. Robin had seemed all cheery about the idea, Nancy didn’t want to rain on her parade. So she pulled herself together and snapped out of whatever funk she slipped into a moment ago.
“Uh, yeah, yeah. It’s fine. Just- here, take the questions we drew up last night. I’ll write myself a new copy, and we can get together later,” Nancy tore out a sheet of paper from her notebook and handed it over.
“Yeah, I’ll just be one walkie-away if anything comes up!” Robin nodded, accepting it with her easy-going grin still splayed across her face.
“Well, have fun,” Nancy wished her well as she began to turn back to her car.
“Thanks. You too!” Robin threw over her shoulder as she closed the door and was gone.
Okay. That stung.
The whole interaction stung.
Which was weird. Shouldn’t have really stung that much. Nancy and Robin were just new friends. Robin had other friends. It was fine. Maybe Nancy was just kind of put off since they made plans together, and now Robin was dropping them off for someone else. Yeah, anyone would be annoyed by that.
Yeah.
But either way, Nancy packed herself back into her car and breathed for a minute. Got her new notes jotted down. Then she saw Vickie park across the street. The other girl stepped out of the car. Looked around and sort of shook out her arms. Like she was nervous or something. But then she set her eyes on Robin’s front door and walked forward with a kind of determination Nancy supposed she’s worn when she was chasing a good story. Vickie made it up the steps and rang the doorbell, turned around, and shook out her arms again when she locked eyes with Nancy.
She froze. Her eyes were wide, her arms hanging off her a little awkwardly as she just stared back at Nancy in her station wagon. Like she’d been caught doing something wrong.
Nancy pulled her expression into a tightlipped smile. Something simple and polite but not exactly totally friendly. She was still a little annoyed about getting dumped- more like bailed on. Yeah, bailed on. But she gave a little wave anyway, and Vickie unfroze to wave back, wearing her own nervous smile.
And then the door opened, and Vickie spun around without hesitation. So Nancy started the car and drove off before she got a good look at Robin in her doorway again.
She had work to get to.
Robin and Vickie would climb into the Nelson’s hatchback and find Mr. Thompson, while Nancy picked up Jonathan to go with her for Ms. Reynolds.
The pair of girls took off for their director’s house and found themselves gigging a lot to the radio. Their music taste didn’t perfectly match up, but there was some notable overlap that they found entertaining for the drive. Vickie complimented Robin's jewelry, she did end up having just enough time to slip some on along with a coat of mascara before her doorbell rang again. Robin absolutely blushed and complimented Vickie. Said she liked the pale teal spirals she wore before, but the dangling green diamonds were great too.
When the drive was done, and they'd actually arrived to talk to Mr. Thompson, he had good things to say. Which was a real relief to Robin.
Turned out Eddie’s not only been in band since middle school, but he’d even stay after school for extra lessons when he was picking up guitar. Mr. Thompson had liked the kid. He was the kind of music student that every teacher wants to teach. The kind that loved it and had a knack for the ability. From piano to guitar, Eddie loved music with an intensity that most people never did. Loved it through his first senior year. He ended up not coming back in ‘84, even though he was still at the high school. Thompson had tried reaching out, but Eddie seemed different when he did.
Just said he had too much on his plate - his own band and trying to make money to help his uncle - and walked away.
Mr. Thompson let it go. He had other students to worry about.
But Eddie Munson, that was a good kid who loved music, even if he liked to find ways to play that weren’t entirely classical or conventional. Mr. Thompson remarked about some combative behavior sometimes. But it was more usually aimed at the other students when Eddie felt like they weren’t trying at all or didn’t care, less so at the director himself. At the end of the day, Mr. Thompson wondered what had happened to him when he stopped seeing Eddie loiter in the band hall, but he was never very sold on the idea that he had turned into a killer after less than two short years since they last spoke.
And the statements helped Vickie see Eddie as the good guy who was thrown into a bad situation that Robin knew he was.
The other pair were having a less fun time. Nancy was still wound up, and she wasn’t really sure why. Which only pissed her off more. Jonathan had something to say but didn’t want to spring it on her while she was in a bad mood. Not that it was the kind of news that should be used to ruin a good mood either…
Jonathan was in trouble. Really, really in trouble. He couldn't procrastinate for a few months again, but it was so much harder to say something when he was actually sitting next to her.
It was a quiet drive on their end.
Then they met with the teacher. Who also had pretty good stuff to say about Eddie. Turns out drama teachers usually couldn’t care less about “conventional”. Ms. Reynolds said she was always partial to more experimental fine arts anyway. And Eddie was loud and passionate in classes, that’s the sort of stuff that thrived in drama departments and drove creativity. He had presence and theatrics and was always paling around with Jeff in the back of her classroom. It was also apparently Eddie that had roped Gareth into helping out with set construction for the musical they just put on. And Josie was in the orchestra pit while Bruce helped with lights. Seemed all of Corroded Coffin had come together in her department at one point or another.
Which is how it had been so easy to convince her to sign off on letting them use the drama room for their Hellfire meetings anyway.
Their little crew was still a little divisive with some of the other drama kids. Their dark clothes and leather and metal set them apart. But Ms. Reynolds always liked them. Always appreciated the way they were willing to do whatever to help. And Eddie was the core, or leader, of that.
She had a few good things to say about the kid. He was weird, but unapologetically himself. And she was happy to go on the record that, as wild as he was, she believed that he didn’t do it.
All in all, Robin and Nancy’s mission could be considered a success.
Even if they didn’t do it together.
Now, Eddie himself was in a state of confusion.
He was still sort of reeling from the fact that Steve had been there at all. Steve Harrington had been there. Sat in the chair at his hospital bedside wearing stupid, boring jeans and a dusty, red sweatshirt like it was the most casual thing. The chair didn’t even look very comfortable. But Steve sat in it, more than once he sat there for a few hours and- that’s so weird.
Eddie wasn’t making it up, right?
He wasn’t going crazy from demobat rabies, right?
Steve had been there.
Right?
It was… it was just so weird.
Freaky, one could even say.
Yeah, they’d gotten mixed up in the same problem recently. But to come back for him, to sit at his bedside while he lay unconscious… It wasn't “right.” Didn’t make sense in the world Eddie Munson came from, even if he was starting to accept that place was long gone.
Steve… Steve Harrington was an enigma. For all four of Eddie���s years that they shared at high school together,
Steve Harrington was an enigma.
Even in Steve’s freshman year, he was the talk of the town. Good looking kid, with passable grades that were more easily accepted when everyone saw how he did in competitive sports. He was doing it all. Basketball, Baseball, Swim Team. And on top of that, his folks had crazy money and this big house he could sometimes swing parties at. He was adopted into the top dogs faster than anyone had ever seen.
In his sophomore year, he found his footing. Started to know exactly how he was fitting into things and how to take charge even though he was still an underclassman to most. Started to solidify the group of kids he hung out with along the upper crust. Started getting swarmed by girls. A whole slew of rumors were buzzing around after that about all the babes he was shmoozing between classes.
Though, his junior year might've been the height of it. He seemed like he was soaring in those days. Just basking in the awesomeness of everything in his life going right for him. And then he bagged little miss perfect. And then something happened to him before winter break. And he fell out with most of his old buddies. Focused a little harder on his classes. Fell into place wherever Nancy was.
And then his senior year was like watching him get snuffed out. All at once, he’d lost pretty much everything, except for his girlfriend. And then more shit happened just before winter break… and Steve Harrington didn’t even have that anymore. So he coasted by until he was out. Just sort of kept his head down and managed his social standing without some of the… previous assholery he was a part of. Even if Eddie didn’t believe it at the time. Kept trying to be a big man on campus, but most of his moves fell flat until he quietly graduated. And that was that.
And then… next time Eddie saw Steve up close, he was pushing him against the wall of his dealer's boat house. Trying to come to terms with all the truly insane stuff Henderson was telling him, Steve just nodded along. Then Eddie was fighting for his life alongside him, a fight he was pretty sure he’d lost. But he didn't. And Steve stuck around.
Freaky.
And that’s coming from “The Freak.”
But Eddie didn’t have much longer to dwell on it, because a slightly timid voice spoke from his doorway,“ Eddie…”
And looking over to see - instead of a nurse - one of his own little Hellions, his mouth open up into a wide smile instantly,“ Lucas! How’d you get here so fast? Harrington just left.”
Lucas took his bright expression as a sign to come on further in, so he took steps forward as he made his way to the chair Steve had previously occupied,“ I was just across the hall. I’ve been spending time with Max whenever I can.”
“Ahhhh…” Eddie nodded sagely, as if he wasn’t still playing catch up on what exactly those two had going on,” So, what’re you doing over here on my side then?”
“Wanted to see you up,” Lucas answered simply as he took his seat.
“Wish I could give you a show. I’d do a flip for you if it weren’t for these beauties.” Eddie teased with a jingle of his cuffs against the bed rail.
And then Lucas’s face went something sadder as he carefully asked,“ … so you’re really okay?"
Eddie shrugged, hoping it’d ease the kid a little. He looked kind of nervous for some reason,“ Yeah, man. I guess. I’m a little tender all over, but I’ll be fine. Not planning to abandon you kids any time soon. You’d all make a mess of my club if I didn’t finish up business myself before graduation.”
Eddie ended his line with a light chuckle, but Lucas didn’t respond. He looked a little gone, like his mind was elsewhere. And maybe Eddie should’ve assumed he was thinking about Max next door, but for some reason, he just had this nagging feeling that it was something else.
“Hey, you alright, Sinclair?” he wondered, letting his tone dip a little softer than he usually used it.
“Yeah. Yeah. It’s nothing.” Lucas tried to shake his expression off, but Eddie saw it. And then it clicked.
Oh.
Hellfire.
One of the last things Eddie did before his whole world changed, was exclude Lucas from Hellfire. And things have been so unbelievably crazy the entire time since that day that… he completely forgot.
Shit.
He was a bad friend on Friday, and he hasn’t said anything to Lucas about it.
“I’m sorry, Lucas.”
And Lucas flinched back into himself. So surprised by the out of nowhere apology he had to sit up and try to joke,“ For being in a coma? I know you didn’t do it on purpose-”
“No. For Hellfire,” Eddie corrected,” I’m sorry you weren’t at the last game.”
“Oh,” Lucas seemed to be struggling to figure out what to do with the words that he just moved to brush them away,” I… it’s fine. I was busy at the championship-“
Eddie stopped him from acting like it wasn’t a big deal,“ Lucas. Would you just let me apologize to you?”
And Lucas was tense and quiet for a minute. But eventually, he let out a breath and sat back deeper into the chair,“ Okay.”
“I’m sorry.”
Eddie started it seriously. Let the words sit on their own for a second before he tried to explain himself.
“It feels silly now to think about how worked up I was on Friday. Okay? Like, there are way bigger things than me just wanting stuff to go the way I planned. And… at the end of the day, I wanted you to be there. I know you’ve been juggling Hellfire with basketball, and we usually made it work, but then Hawkins unexpectedly qualified for the big tournament, or whatever, and… I don’t know. I got pissed. I've always hated the basketball guys. Felt like you were different from them- and you are, for the record. You’re different than them in all the best ways. But I got disappointed when I thought about you being with the cool crowd instead of the freaks. Made me feel like you were rejecting us, or leaving us behind for popularity…”
Lucas was shaking his head,“ That’s not-“
“I know,” Eddie told him anyway,” I know that’s not something you’d do, Sinclair. I was just making myself mad when I could’ve been going about it another way. I’ve got a few faults, and quick to anger is one of ‘em. It was cool and all meeting the littler Sinclair - don’t get me wrong - but I do wish you’d been with us for the end of the campaign. And most of the reason you couldn’t be was my fault because I was being stubborn. So I’m sorry. Really.”
And Lucas looked so much lighter in that chair after Eddie was done. Like some secret fear he’d been harboring since Friday that Eddie hated him was just run off. He even looked a little misty-eyed as he brought back his smile.
“I forgive you,” he said, though after a moment. It took him a bit to realize Eddie was waiting for it.
And then Eddie smiled back at him,“ Thanks. Was it a good game at least?”
Well. That astounded the boy.
“You want to hear about my game? You? Eddie Munson? A basketball game?”
Eddie tossed his head side to side like he was mulling it over,“ Well, maybe skip all the boring sporty bits and just tell me the highlights. Final score and stuff. But yeah, tell me about it.”
“Well, um,” Lucas shifted a little closer as he tried to remember how it all happened now that it felt like forever ago,” We’d been kinda neck-in-neck with the last team all night, the Falcons. They’d score, we’d score, we’d score some more, they’d even it right out. It was back and forth the whole game. And then Adam got knocked down… so they pulled me off the bench.”
“Wait a minute, you're saying you actually made it on the floor?” Eddie noticed, which made Lucas light up a little brighter. Now more confident that Eddie was actually interested in listening to him talk about his game.
“Yeah.”
“Ain’t that the first time that’s happened all year?”
He let out a soft chuckle,“ Yeah. It was.”
“You’re kidding…” Eddie leaned back and shook his head, remembering all the times his freshman would complain to each other at the lunch table about Lucas not getting to do anything worth watching.
“Well, if you’re impressed by that, how do you feel about hearing that I made the buzzer beater that won the whole thing?” he tempted.
And then Eddie’s attention shot back up to him,“ What?”
“We were down by one point, just the one, and there were ten seconds left on the clock. Jason tried to make the shot, but the ball hit the rim and bounced off. And I was the one who caught it. I just- It was just in my hands, and I dove out of the huddle, and… there wasn’t any time to think about it. So I took the shot. And it spun around the rim, jumped back out, and hit the backboard, but then it sunk. We won. We beat ‘em, 70 to 69.”
“That’s… that’s incredible, Lucas.” Eddie sounded dumbfounded. He really wasn’t a sporty guy, but even he could picture it. He wasn’t dumbfounded out of confusion, he was just that amazed.
Lucas got a little bashful,“ It was just-“
“No. No, that’s really cool, man,” and then the realization hit,” And we stole your sister so she couldn’t cheer you on…”
“Yeah… I was a little mad about that,” he admitted.
“I’m sorry about that too. You shoulda had someone there.”
“I wasn’t alone. The team practically paraded me around. And Steve was there in the audience. Robin was with the band. Even Nancy was there for the school paper. They cheered pretty loud when it happened.”
He sighed a little wistfully,“ I wish I saw it too.”
And, well, Lucas knew Eddie was trying to make up for everything, but that had to have been an outright lie.
“You hate basketball.”
“Yeah, I do. But I like you, kid. You’re one of my little freaks, and it would have been nice to see you do something that cool. Watch the whole school cheer you on even though you’re a nerd like the rest of us in Hellfire.”
And that…
‘You’re one of my little freaks’
It did a lot for Lucas. He’d honestly been a little scared the whole time that the game would be the final straw. The thing that set him away from Hellfire completely. Until the club became something only Dustin and Mike got to be a part of. But Eddie still thought Lucas was one of his.
He wasn’t getting thrown away.
“Thanks, Eddie,” he finally said when he didn’t think his voice was going to crack.
“Thank you for letting me in on a little of it. Even though I was a dick on Friday.”
The boy tried to walk that back,“ I wouldn’t say-”
“You can say it. One-time free pass since I’m admitting my shortcomings and humbling myself right now.”
And so, through a warm laugh, Lucas agreed,“ Okay, yeah, you were kind of a dick.”
“Thank you,” Eddie laughed a little with him,“ Now, tell me something about this plan Harrington mentioned. Wanna make sure I’ll be able to play my part well.”
Lucas ran over the bare bones with him. Just spent enough time on it that Eddie would know what to say, and then he called a nurse in. Eddie played like he was a little loopy for a few minutes to pass as him off as having just woken up. She checked his vitals and then called in a doctor who told that same nurse to get on the phone with the police department and Eddie’s uncle.
That was when they kicked Lucas out and sent him back across the hall. To make sure the cops wouldn’t have any arguments about the honesty of his interrogation. They really underestimated this Party, if only they knew.
By the end of it, people were on the way and Eddie was getting worn out. Turned out it was hard work waking up from a coma and socializing. He’d fallen back asleep before anyone new arrived at the hospital, but the next time he woke up someone had arrived.
It was Wayne. His wrinkled uncle Wayne. Uncle Wayne, who just looked so exhausted with his eyebrows pinching together, carefully watching Eddie’s hand held within his. Wet eyes that didn't move or blink as he waited to see his boy come back to him.
So Eddie squeezed it and groaned out,“ Hey, old man.”
And the familiar sound of Wayne’s worn and lovingly gruff chuckle was like the sun after such a god-awful week. He took back one of his own hands to wipe under his eyes for a moment before putting it back and smiling at him,” There he is. The man of the hour.”
“Here I am.” Eddie smiled back at Wayne from under sleepy eyes.
His uncle squeezed his hand tighter,“ I got real scared there. Thought I wouldn’t ever see you again.”
“Aw, Wayne, you know you can’t get rid of me that easy. I’m still your problem just like I’ve always been.”
“No, never been a problem,” he corrected.
“Now, I know you’re getting too sappy and lying to me. I am nothing if not a headache.”
Wayne cracked a deeper smile and leaned in closer to brush his hand gently over Eddie’s dark curtain of hair.
“I’ll take the headache, kid.” He told him as he rested his thumb on his nephew’s cheek.
Which was such a Wayne thing to do and say. He was a man’s man. Working with his hands and watching westerns on his days off. That's the kind of classic man he was. They didn’t get all mushy on one another very often. It was an unspoken but entirely understood thing, that they loved each other.
But that line was such a Wayne way to say it.
And then Wayne mentioned,“ You know, you didn’t didn’t get to tell me how the story went.”
“The story?” Eddie wondered for a moment.
“The one you were finishin’ up on Friday. With the big twist surprise you were settin’ up for those kiddos.”
“Oh.”
Because, of course, Wayne would bring up his DnD campaign.
Eddie told him about every single one.
He never bothered with giving him stats or explaining the different dice rolls and how that all worked, but he would practice the story with him. He’d share the bits he’d assume Hellfire would work through during that week’s session while he got all his notes prepared, and - usually the next day Wayne was able - they’d sit down over breakfast, and he’d tell his uncle all about how the party actually played through it.
Wayne loved it. It was like listening to his own private movie told by his nephew. He’d get version one with how it was supposed to work, and then he’d get version two with all meandering and funny jabs from the characters and how they came around the problem. And Eddie would always light up while he talked about it.
But he never got to see Eddie after Friday night, after what was supposed to be the big finale.
“So, how’d it go?” he asked again.
And maybe it would’ve been wise of Eddie to spend the time with his uncle telling him what sort of week he’s just had. Answering all the questions and explaining how serious he was when he talked about monsters this time. But, strangely, it seemed so much more important to talk about the session.
“Well, those rugrats… they really pulled out all the stops.” Eddie told him, shifting around as he continued,” You see, Lucas has this big game come up suddenly. He couldn’t be there. And it would have meant they couldn’t play through the end of the campaign that night. So Dustin and Mike were running all over school trying to find someone to sub in for him. And then they showed up at Hellfire with Lucas’s kid sister! I’m not kidding! This little middle schooler named Erica struts in. And I’m looking at her, thinking there’s no way she’s hardcore enough. She’s practically a baby- and she probably doesn’t even know how DnD works- and she’s all pretty ‘n pink- so there’s just no way! She doesn’t have the metal for it, end of story. I was sure of it. But she busts in any way with this little monologue about just how hardcore she is… And it honestly blew me away a little. So we initiate her as an unofficial member and then we all sat down to start the game…”
And they just talked. Talked and talked about the game. Every second of it made Wayne feel a hundred times better. The longer Eddie spoke about one of his greatest passions, the more Wayne could be sure he wasn’t going to crumble to pieces in his hands.
After that was when Eddie knew he had to tell him about all the shit he’s been through. He couldn’t even imagine not telling his Wayne how crazy it really was. Not explaining why he came home Saturday morning to a body in their trailer. Not explaining why he so absolutely couldn’t go back to his uncle to ask for help. Not explaining that he climbed into hell and almost died in there for a chance at ending some great evil.
That just wasn’t something he could keep from him. Wayne would know he was bottling something up. He was always good at making him talk.
So he talked.
When they got through it all, Wayne just huffed and told him,“ You really did scare me, you know? I wasn’t sure if I’d get a call to identify a body, or if you’d just run away from everything here and I’d never know any better-”
“Sorry…”
“No. Don’t you say you're sorry. You didn’t do nothing wrong. We’re going to make sure they know that.”
Eddie rolled his eyes,“ I don’t think they’ll just take your word for it.”
And then, from the door came the phrase,“ It’s not just his word.”
And it was Dustin Henderson, his mother standing right behind him.
“Henderson,” Eddie’s relief swelled to see the kid alright, then he added,“ And Mrs. Henderson.”
Officer Callahan had been hot on their heels showing up behind them as he started saying something about them not being allowed to see Eddie until they questioned him, how they had been instructed to go wait in Max’s room with the others. So the others were there too. But the two of them walked in anyway, completely ignoring the officer. Claudia took Eddie’s free hand, similarly to how she had Steve’s just the other morning.
And Eddie was just shocked that someone who was effectively a stranger was looking at him with kind eyes. He hadn’t expected to get that kind of treatment.
“My Dusty-bun tells me you stuck with him through the… earthquake. Made sure he was okay, and stayed safe even though the goddamn world was falling to pieces. Is that true?” she asked him, already very sure of the answer but wanting to hear him say it himself.
And something was flickering in the way she said it. ‘The… earthquake.’ So she knew it wasn’t really an earthquake. Which - as he thought about it - he remembered hearing Steve mutter about some parents finding out.
So Eddie gripped the bedrail and pushed himself to sit up in his bed, trying to be just a little awestruck, and answered.
“Yes ma’am,” like how Wayne always wanted him to say to adults. He usually bucked against the whole respecting your elders and authority figures thing, but for Dustin’s mother, he’d make an exception.
Her sweet smile pressed further into her plush cheeks, and she reached up to gently pat his hair with her hand, so very similar to how Wayne had,” Thank you. I will never be able to thank you enough for helping watch out for my baby-”
“Mom-” the kid groaned as if he could possibly still be surprised by the way his mother coddled him.
“So if you ever need anything, you can always reach out to us. Don’t even bother asking first, just take what you need.”
“That’s…”
Ridiculous. It was ridiculous to receive an offer like that from some little suburban mom. Even if she shared Dustin’s DNA and contributed to the weirdness of the little guy, she was still… just some mom. Not his.
But she pressed on,“ You saved me from my greatest fear. So whatever you need. And all of us are going to make sure everyone knows what really happened, as much as we can-”
“Okay,” Callahan tried to step in,” You can’t talk about the investigation before we’ve been able to question him-”
But then Ms. Henderson raised her finger to silence him while she turned back to Eddie,“ Do you feel up for their questions, honey?”
And that stunned him a second time. To watch Claudia Henderson shut up a policeman with a single finger and wait for Eddie’s cue before she was going to let anything happen. It was just stunning.
“Uh- yeah. Yeah, sure,” he croaked out when words came back to him.
“Alright,” she looked back at the man in blue,” Then ask him your questions so you can uncuff him and leave the poor boy alone.”
Callahan was readying to tell her about how that’s not exactly how it works,“ Ma’am-”
When Powell entered the room and interrupted him with a warning tone,“ Callahan.”
“They-” he began sputtering and motioning his hands at the pair who weren’t supposed to be in the room.
But before he could really argue, the Chief spoke to the mother,“ Ms. Henderson, you know you were supposed to go across the hall-”
“Well, we got over here just fine.” she innocently shrugged.
Chief Powell looked back at the officer with a disappointed glare as Callahan attempted to excuse himself,“ I tried-”
But Ms. Henderson was absolutely not allowing the two of them to waste time on it,“ Are you going to question him and get it over with?”
“Yes. Okay? If we could have everyone clear the room now? He’s not a minor; he can do this on his own.”
And then Claudia Henderson had the gall to look back at Eddie and wait for his blessing. Again. Like she was really willing to put her foot down and argue some more with the cops. Which- okay- maybe that was pretty badass. Way more than he was expecting from some prim and proper suburban mom. So Eddie gave her the nod she was looking for, and she placed her hands around Dustin’s shoulders to steer him into the other room.
Wayne gave his hand another tight squeeze and said,” You just holler and I’ll knock that door down, you hear?”
“I’ll be fine. Get outta here already,” Eddie squeezed his hand back.
Then Wayne let him go, and it was the first time he wasn’t being held since he arrived. His palm felt a little cold now. But he was okay. He was going to be okay.
Wayne left the room and followed the rest into the Max’s. They hadn’t all arrived yet. So far it was Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, Lucas, Erica, Mike, and now Dustin. They are also accompanied by Karen, The Sinclairs, Susan, and now Claudia and Wayne.
Hop and Joyce were on their way with Will, El, and Argyle. Murray said he’d stay behind “strategizing”. And Vickie was supposed to be dropping Robin off any minute. Apparently, they had just sat down to eat an early lunch together when Steve reached out to everyone. Which had been news to him. So he’d been waiting with a very specific kind of impatience ever since. If he didn’t get to squeeze every ounce of information about her first date - because he was absolutely calling this a date - by the end of the night, he was going to go crazy.
In the meantime, everyone mingled the best they could. Wayne thanked Claudia for her ferocity for his boy, she thanked him for raising such a good one. Mike was on the walkie asking for updates on how close the Hopper-Byers car was to the hospital every few minutes, going on and on about how excited he was for El and Will to meet Eddie. Nancy seemed tense but told everyone they had used the morning to make some progress in cleaning things up. And Dustin was talking to Lucas and Erica about how Eddie looked before he and his mother were kicked out.
The questioning went well.
At least, it felt like it did.
Eddie didn’t really have anything to compare it to, seeing as he’d always kept himself out of too much trouble before. But it seemed like it wasn’t awful. There wasn’t any yelling, and while they asked him to be more specific or clarify what he was saying, they hadn't argued against his claims. So maybe Steve was right when he said they were leaning his way. And maybe Robin and Nancy would be able to turn it all around for him somehow.
But he reminded himself not to get carried away and hope for too much while Chief Powell finished up.
“We’ve taken your statement, and will be going over it with the evidence and the other testimonies we have collected. We don’t have an answer for you now, but we’ll be back tomorrow with the final decision on how the Hawkins Police Department will be proceeding with the charges.”
“Okay.”
“In the meantime, the cuffs stay on. And the visitors can come back in, but we’ll be posting an officer to keep an eye on you-”
And that was when the door swung open. Seemed like the people around there really didn’t care about following the rules. Chief Powell’s face twitched as he braced himself to tear into whoever just barged in when he found himself looking at a dead man.
“Chief…?”
It was the only word that came to him after referring to the man by the title for so many years. He looked different now, but he was still so unmistakably Jim Hopper.
He stepped into the room and motioned,“ From what I hear, that’s your job now, Cal.”
“You… you’re… how are you…” he sputtered, Callahan next to him just standing in silent shock with a hand over his mouth.
“Long story. One I don’t really want to go over. How about we call it a kidnapping and move on?”
“Kidnapping?” Powell asked,” But you- eight months, Chie- Hop… Hop, it’s been eight months since… you ‘died’ in the mall fire. Did they all lie about you being there, or-”
“No, I was there. Don’t try to take away my Hero of Hawkins medal now. It was the dying part that just didn’t stick.” Hopper corrected.
Then Callahan found his voice,“ But what’re you…?”
Hop shrugged and looked at Eddie for a second, which was weird because they’d never really spoken, but now the guy was on his side, technically,“ Was listening by the door and thought I could ask about possibly forgoing some of that procedure.”
“What?”
“Look, the kid’s clearly been through hell enough already, Cal-”
“Hop…” Powell shook his head,” This case is already messy enough as is. Everything needs to be by the book from this point on-”
“Come on. Call it calling in a favor?” he tried.
Which pulled a small smile to the other’s face because it was just so much like him to ask,“ You have no favors to call in.”
“You’re right, I never stocked any up. But… what about it anyway?”
“Look… as soon as the choice has been made, you’ll know. We aren’t dragging our feet on this, but we can’t be caught making mistakes. I’ll assume you’ve seen the news?”
“Yes, I’ve seen the-”
“Then you know, this has to be done right. There are too many eyes on it, and too much has gone off the rails already.” He emphasized. Then he spared a glance back at Eddie, and the kid did seem kind of pathetic.
“But we can loosen the cuffs a notch. Looks like Daniels put ‘em on a little tight.” He gave, stepping up to unlock them and clicking them back in place more comfortably.
Hop came in close behind him to ask,“ Who’ll be assigned the babysitting duty?”
“I was going to give it to Nichols,” Powell answered.
“Okay…” Jim considered,” Yeah, Nichols is good…”
“Alright then. Go on and invite everyone else in and tell them the protocol. We have work to do back at the station.”
“Calvin?” he asked as the officers headed for the door.
“Jim?”
“Thank you.” He said,” Nichols is…”
“Nichols is good. I know. He’s good at his job and not an ass like some of them, so he shouldn’t make this next day of waiting too difficult on him.” Which was a phrase that made Eddie feel a whole lot better about the guy,” And even if you don’t want to explain where the hell you’ve been the last two-thirds of the year, least you could do is bring a cup of coffee by my new office and tell me what the hell you’re doing now.”
“Yeah. Least I could do.” Jim agreed.
Then Powell nodded and left. Just like that, Eddie had officially done all he could to clear up the mess, and then it was out of his hands. It felt weird, to be on the other side of the fear. He had been dreading it the entire time since he saw Chrissy die right in front of him. “How do I get out of this?” played over and over in his head whenever the world was too quiet. And now he faced it. And he just has to lie there and wait until there’s news.
But before he could stew in it any longer, there were all his kids - plus a few new faces - packed in the door of his room. The adults excused themselves, some heading off to pick up some food from the diner in town for everyone to eat for lunch while the rest just headed on home themselves. Each of them decided to let the youngsters reunite on their own for a little bit.
As soon as Eddie saw Michael Wheeler coming in, he broke out an excited,“ Hey! It’s Little Wheeler! Where have you been all week? Didn’t you hear we were all hanging out?”
Mike, who was just a moment ago beaming to see his DM awake, let his expression instantly drop at the nickname.
“Little Wheeler?” he questioned.
Eddie explained,“ Well, yeah, I can’t call you and your sister both ‘Wheeler’ after all.”
Mike argued,“ I should be the original ‘Wheeler’!”
“I’m not calling Nance ‘Big Wheeler’, dude.” Eddie rolled his eyes,“ Plus she’s cool. Way too cool to not be the standalone ‘Wheeler’. You know?”
Nancy was wearing a pretty smug look when Mike turned on her,“ You stole my DM.”
“What?”
“You stole my DM!” he repeated,” I leave for one week, and suddenly I’m ‘Little Wheeler’?”
She shrugged her shoulders at her brother,“ That’s not my fault. Stop being ‘Little Wheeler’ material.”
“I’m the taller one!”
Eddie reached out his hand to try and get in between them,“ Wheelers, Wheelers, you're both pretty. No need to fight for the affections of my heart-”
But Mike wasn’t even listening,“ Give it back!”
“Give it back?” she quoted back to him.
“Give it back!”
“I’m not ‘giving it back’, Mike. It’s a nickname. Earn a better one if you’re going to be so worked up about it. How about we give ‘Little Shit’ a try?” she offered.
They kept bickering between themselves as someone new stepped in a little closer to Eddie’s bedside.
He recognized her from the empty space in his head they’d met a few days ago, but he still didn’t really know her yet.
And then she looked at him with bashful eyes and began speaking,“ I like your hair. It’s… pretty.”
Eddie’s hair reminded her of her own before she woke up in that bed at the NINA project to see they'd cut it all off. She really liked having long hair. It was something that she was able to look at the mirror and say “It’s been so long since I was trapped there that now my hair goes past my shoulders.” She can’t say that anymore.
Because they caught her again.
And maybe she walked right into it but… she liked her long hair.
Missed it now.
And Eddie said, with a flourish,“ Why thank you, m’lady. Not exactly the style of flattery I usually aim for, but I am more than happy to accept it regardless.”
That’s right. Mike had said that Eddie was pretty “metal.” So maybe there was another word that fit him better.
“It’s also really… bitchin’.”
And Eddie just lit up. His eyes and smile widened at the soft-spoken girl,“ Oh my god, you’re my favorite now. Please, come closer, you little angel!”
He beckoned her with his hand as much as he could while still being restrained, and El’s own smile grew with her giggle as she stepped up to his bedside with more confidence. Her brother was just behind her, and Eddie had been about to greet him when two of the kids he already knew well enough yelled at him.
“Hey!” Mike and Dustin protested in unison. Both of them were clearly mad about the fact that he just called El his favorite, and he didn’t even know her name yet.
“Hey yourselves!” Eddie shot back,” This cutie saved my life and just gave me the greatest compliment I’ve ever received!”
“But that’s- That’s not-” Dustin sputtered before turning to one of the other older boys in the room,” STEVE!”
“What do you want me to do about it? I can’t magically make you his favorite again-“
To which Mike took offense,“ Hey!”
“Please, Mike, do you really think you were Eddie’s favorite?” Dustin asked him with that same tone Steve kept saying he’d do something about, yet hasn't,” It was obviously me. And it’s obviously going to be me again, once I retake my throne from this thief!”
El scrunched her eyebrows together at him,“ I did not steal it.”
“Yes, you did! With magic powers and sweet words!”
Eddie chimed in,“ Don’t forget the cute face.”
“And your cute face!” he added with an accusatory finger, though it just made El laugh again.
Lucas shrugged and sided,“ I’m on El’s team. You can’t not like her. I tried. Didn’t get very far.”
She gave him a courteous nod,” Thank you.”
However, Mike seethed “Traitor!” in the other boy's direction.
“So, El’s the name of the darling I owe my life to?” Eddie asked her, ignoring the boy’s play fighting.
“Yes. Short for Eleven.” She answered.
“Eleven?”
“There’s a lot we didn’t have time to explain fully the first time around,” Steve told him.
“I wasn’t even here when Eddie’s life went to shit! I think that means I get bonus points.” Mike got louder as he tried to argue.
Lucas was the one to disagree,“ That doesn’t make any sense. None of us screwed him over.”
“If anything, you weren’t even here to try and help him out of it. I think that means we deserve bonus points.” Dustin added.
“They are so immature.” Erica rolled her eyes and said to Steve.
“I know they are.” he agreed,” At least you behave when you aren’t too busy blackmailing us-”
“Eddie! You’re really awake!” Robin rushed in, finally arriving with the rest of them.
“Last one in, Robin?” Eddie asked.
“I was…” She spared a glance at Steve, who was already looking at her pretty intently, before she put her focus back on the one in the bed,” looking into something. For you!”
Erica leaned in closer to Steve and whispered while Robin rambled about her meeting with Mr. Thompson,“ It is not blackmailing when I am just insisting on the return of the goods and services that were pledged to me-”
“It’s a little blackmail-y, or like, at least blackmail-adjacent the way you do it,” Steve whispered back.
“And yet, I didn’t even need to apply the pressure for five minutes before you broke. Seems like you just knew I was right.”
Steve deadpanned at her,“ Okay, I take it back. You don’t behave. No one in The Party behaves.”
“Oh, that’s the truth.” Robin hastily agreed when she caught the back half of what he said.
“Oh, so this is The Party?” Eddie asked with a motion to the room.
Mike pipped up,“ Yeah. We’re The Party.”
Nancy gave a light shove to his head,“ It’s what they’ve been calling themselves since the day Dustin moved into town. And once we all got mixed up in everything together, we all kind of adopted it.”
"We're still the originals, though," Mike mentioned with a motion between the four boys.
“So that’s what the little angel meant. Not celebrating.” Eddie figured, finally connecting the dots. But should he really have expected the person he confused with God to be using fantasy terms that way? Can’t blame the guy for assuming she’d meant it by the normie definition.
“No, she was not referring to an actual party.” Will joked beside her.
“Good, because I was going to be pissed if you were all just having fun while I was dying.” He huffed.
Steve stepped forward,“ You weren’t dying-”
“Oh no, he absolutely was.” Robin interrupted him,” You heard El, she had to keep him together enough to even make it to the hospital-”
“What?”
And there was Wayne at the door, along with the other parents all holding to-go bags of food for everyone. Thus started the third - and hopefully last - explanation of what was actually going on. They couldn’t really pretend like everything was normal since Eddie had already told Wayne most of what happened to him. So they just explained it further. Went over the bits that Eddie didn’t know anything about or didn’t understand fully. They had the discussion over burgers and fries, and vending machine sodas and candies. Which made all the information go down a little bit easier.
Eddie learned why a child would be named Eleven.
Wayne learned that his boy’s innocence rests on the integrity of a mountain of lies.
Which was really scary to think about.
So they tried not to.
They all started getting to know one another a little better, seeing as how they’d be putting together more plans to fight off the end of the world. Wayne and Hopper noticed a few similar mannerisms between them. Eddie was more properly introduced to El and Will. And Jonathan and Argyle. And Joyce. Those were all the new faces he was getting a real conversation with. According to everyone, there was some guy who didn’t feel like coming in, two more on the way, and the other parents had headed off back to their homes until visiting hours were over. They didn't want to overwhelm Eddie and thought the kids should get to spend some time with him. Which was pretty sweet, considering he was a wanted man who had been on the run just a few days before.
It was about then that they were suddenly interrupted by a distressed woman in a pantsuit and sunglasses at their door.
But before she even got a word in, Nancy was standing up from her seat and very sharply telling her,” Out.”
The woman peeled off her sunglasses and responded through a clenched jaw,” I see you found our missing persons… and then some.”
She added that last bit while eyeing Jim.
“Get out.” Nancy insisted.
“Ms. Wheeler-”
“I said ‘Get out’. So get out of this room.”
“Nancy…?” Joyce asked, concerned. Nancy had never revisited her grudge against this particular government agent any of the times they ran over things.
The woman pushed,“ We have to talk about what happened.”
“I’m not saying a goddamn word to you people. Since we can’t trust you not to make it worse.”
Then it was Hopper trying to calm her down,“ Kid-”
“They handed her back to him.” Nancy said firmly, making strides around Eddie’s bed to put herself between the woman and the rest of the room, tucking El right behind her,” So no. They don’t get to get close to her again.”
“However you feel about things, we still need to get on the same page if we have any hope of cleaning things up around here.”
“It’s not happening. Not here, not today, and not anywhere near El. I don’t care what you say, it’s not.”
The woman seemed exacerbated,“ We have to-”
Finally, Nancy let out the yell she had been fighting back all day,“ Get out!”
Which was a sight. For everyone. To see her lose her cool like that.
It was different than the way she fought monsters.
It was… something else.
“Ms. Wheeler-”
“Tomorrow then? We all get together and discuss things tomorrow?” Joyce offered the compromise, still making up her mind on how exactly she felt about the situation but sure about wanting to get it taken care of.
Hopper answered for their guest in his own gruff voice,“ We’ll talk tomorrow.”
After a moment of silence, the agent decided to take the deal on the table,“ I’ll leave my card. There’s a number on it. Call and make plans for the meeting, or I’ll show up unannounced again. With backup.”
Nancy was gearing up to walk closer when Steve grabbed her shoulder,“ Get out-”
“I’m leaving. Make sure you call.” She said, pressing the slip on top of the light fixture by the door.
And then she was gone.
“You know… I was going to give this welcoming committee a five-star review in the paper until she showed up. Really soured the mood, you know?” Eddie joked, trying to relieve some tension.
Nancy huffed and returned to her seat,” Sorry. The news must’ve aired footage of the police arriving for questioning and were probably still running the cameras when everyone showed up, so…”
“We weren’t even thinking about that when we got here…” Jonathan muttered beside her.
“It’s okay. Still a pretty rockin’ day from my end. Being not dead and all.”
“That’s it, man. We just gotta focus on the positives.” Argyle smiled back at him.
“What’s the plan for the meeting?” Robin asked nervously.
“El’s not coming.” Nancy set the condition sternly.
“Agreed.” Hop nodded and crossed his arms.
“But-” the girl tried to argue.
“No. We have to assume she won’t be alone, and while Sam might’ve been on your side, we don’t know what they’re doing now on their own. We need to know how everything stands. If there are people who aren’t our allies, we aren’t giving them an opportunity to get ahold of you again.”
“We can’t just leave her alone, Hop,” Joyce noted.
“So, you don’t.” Wayne thought,” You bring her here on the way to the meeting. There are all the cameras at the entrance, an officer will be posted by the room, and this hospital is still full of people. If someone tried to break her out of her against her will, they wouldn’t get very far without drawing a lot of attention.”
Jim nodded some more,” Yes. Yes, that’s a good idea. El can stay here until we finish.”
“More time to hang out with my guardian angel? Sounds good to me.” Eddie agreed with a smile, hoping El wouldn’t be nervous about the idea.
“So then, tomorrow morning. Most of the rest of us. Some place public. Get this dealt with so we can figure out the next move.” Jim concluded.
And no one else said anything, but they all agreed. That was the plan.
There wasn’t much more to say the evening, so when four o’clock arrived and a nurse was kicking everyone besides Wayne out and introducing Officer Nichols, they all went their separate ways. Most of the kids' parents were pulled up by the hospital entrance for pickup. Except for Robin who Steve whisked away so they could spend a few hours doing some much-needed checking in. Robin just had her first date after all, so there was so much to talk about before he needed to drop her off at home.
She told him everything. All about the phone call and Vickie's new earrings. About all the ways Vickie made her laugh and how she could swear she’d noticed Vickie’s eyes lingering on her when she would get lost in her rambles. About the way that Vickie sat right next to her while they talked to Mr. Thompson on his front porch. About the way that Vickie leaned against her and touched her shoulder and seemed to be so close sometimes that Robin swore her head was spinning.
She talked about it all with Steve.
Because telling her best friend about her amazing day made it so much more real.
And that was the moment Steve decided Robin wasn’t coming with them to the meeting. He had already been pretty sure about it but watching her bursting with excitement about her first real chance at loving a girl made him certain.
There was probably going to be nothing major that happened. It would be stupid of the Feds to try and take out something like a dozen people in a small town where everyone knows each other. But he wasn’t going to risk it. Just couldn’t imagine risking Robin disappearing before she got to kiss Vickie for the first time and feel loved in that sweet special way that romance can hold.
With everything Steve knew about love and everything he didn’t, he knew that Robin deserved to have her chance to find out about it.
#I AM SO SORRY LOVELIES!!!#I KEEP FORGETTING TO UPDATE TUMBLR WITH THESE CHAPTERS!!!#I'm copying over 3 chapters that are already on AO3#And there are going to be another 2 coming out in the next few days!#Sorry again about the delay. I just completely forgot Tumblr existed for a minute because I've been focused on Twitter#Ronance Drama?#Oops. I didn't originally plan to give them much to 'overcome'#But I decided we'd make their story a little bit more turbulent for fun :)#And I hope y'all liked the Eddie apology to Lucas - I hope it didn't feel occ#But I really needed Eddie to say he was sorry for what he did bc I'm mad at him about it#and I got to start the saga of 'Wayne being the best uncle ever' bc I've been wanting to write my 'they talk about dnd together' bit so bad#And the beginnings of the Eddie&Nancy bestfriendism agenda I'm going to push#I adore them and they'll get a lot of attention and development together!#I'm also incredibly exciting about more El and Eddie interactions - El and Nancy bonds - and so many others#Steve Harrington#Eddie Munson#Steddie#Steveddie#Steve x Eddie#Nancy Wheeler#Robin Buckney#Ronance#Robin x Nancy#The Fruity Four#Stranger Things#Stranger Things 4#Stranger Things 4 spoilers#Stranger Things 4 volume 2 spoilers
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Why are so many people putting like 'No drivers license' on so many of those oddly specific polls? Guys, idk about you but a drivers license didn't magically spawn into my hands the minute I turned 17 / whatever the legal age to start driving is in your area is. That isn't weird or something that is out of place, that is a pretty big chunk of the population
#Maybe it's a comulation of America being so car-centric and impossible to live with a car#And the fact that Americans on the Internet forget that they're not the only people that exist#That is a generalisation obvs not applying to every American ever wahhg#But as someone who is unfortunately British. I don't really want to learn to drive ever and my environment allows for that#Public transport is decent enough. I can get to most places I need to go without a vehicle.#I'm not an oddity for not having a drivers license :sob:#Weird rant sorry sjsjsjs#Android.txt#Unless this is some weird tumblr injoke I've managed to miss#Which it very well could be
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I need a part in the penny verse where the whole Eddie telling baby bump penny that her mom is going to be a MILF comes into play.
Like one we day the reader is picking up penny from school and maybe another kids dad flirts with her or like a new neighbor of theirs does and maybe Eddie’s reaction to that
Not even gonna front with you, I've been sitting on this for a min because I wrote it and then freaking forgot about it. I did take some creative liberties, but I think you'll like what I got for ya. Ps, ‘baby bump penny’ had my heart throwing up, I always forget that we get her in different phases of her existence and she was once in reader’s belly 🥹💘
to everyone else, sorry, I can't link shit but this is a follow up to a ton of other pennyverse entries so you can search that on my tumblr until the links work again. and i'm trying the keep reading cut again, let me know if it fucks up the post.
(dad!eddie munson x mom!reader)
Summary: Something's been bothering you these last couple of weeks and you won't tell Eddie what it is. Like that'll stop him, he's determined to figure it out.
warnings: a creepy (and freaking terrible) dad hits on reader, implied unwelcome advances, crude comments about reader and the female body (eddie sets this fucker straight), protective!eddie :)
Eddie knew you. He knew every fiber of your being, every marker in your past, all the ways you liked to style your hair, how you decided on what makeup to put on that day—if you even wore any—,the different types of silence you’d sink into and what they meant, your body (god, he was intimately in tune with it), and every different smile you wore. Eddie knew you.
He just didn’t know exactly what went on in that beautiful head of yours. Eddie was positive he had a sixth sense catered only to you, it’d let him know whenever there was something wrong, something bothering you. It prompted him to approach you, watch you even more than he already did. Putting himself metaphorically in your shoes usually helped him figure it out the rest of the way, but for this particular occurrence, he had nothing to go on.
For the past couple of weeks, since Penny had started preschool, you’d moved your work schedule around to go in earlier so you’d be out in time to pick Penny up from school and snag the baby from Maude and Wayne, who watched him while you and Eddie were at work.
Eddie noticed a change in you. It was minor at first, a little frazzled when he’d get home, but you hid it well. Now, you looked bothered. Always zoned out, with a frown on your face. You never left the house like that, always gave him and the kids kisses before you went on your merry way (well, as happy as you could be going to a desk job), so it had to be something that happened after you left home that bothered you.
It wasn’t work, you’d rant to Eddie about it if you had a bad day but you liked to leave work problems at your desk when you left it, something about not being paid to worry or think about work after hours.
It bugged the fuck out of him. He’d tried to approach the subject before, leaving you openings to tell him what was going on but you always shrugged it off and went on about your day as if you hadn’t been upset over something. You couldn’t hide it completely, though. Not from Eddie, he could still see those split seconds where your mind wandered off and the corners of your lips twitched down.
Given how stubborn you were, Eddie decided he’d need to take a more hands on approach. Since he suspected something was happening after you left home in the mornings and before he got home from work, he’d have to be present for that timeframe.
He’d left work around lunchtime, Norm was understanding about it and didn't really care all that much since it was a relatively slow day for business.
His son had been delighted when he picked him up from his Grandpa and (grandma) Maude’s, squirming and wiggling in her hold until Eddie got a hold of him. Baby Wayne had immediately placed his hands on Eddie’s jaw, urging his dad to bend his head so he could rest his forehead against his own, those big eyes of his fluttering shut the moment they connected and soft coos of dada mumbled in between them, unlike Penny had, Wayne caught onto the baby babble of mama and dada. Penny hadn’t because one of you was always helicoptering around her so Princess Penny hadn’t felt the need.
Eddie would never get over how much his baby seemed to love cuddling with his parents, everytime baby Wayne was affectionate, he turned into goo, melting in his chubby hands. They lingered in the trailer for a couple of minutes while Eddie and big Wayne discussed how things were going in the apartment, though it had been more than a year since they’d moved in. Naturally, Wayne had asked why he was stopping by so early to pick up the baby so your change in demeanor came up in conversation.
“Mmm, I been noticin’ ‘er actin’ odd whenever she comes to pick up little man. Seems fine when she gets ‘ere. ‘S when she leaves, she seems a little…”
“Hesitant?” Eddie supplied and Wayne nodded, mouth pressed in a firm line.
It was then that Maude Maple spoke up, something the widow rarely did in the presence of anyone other than Wayne, and it was with great hesitance.
“She—she mentioned something once, about the pick up at Penny’s preschool. She didn’t go into too much detail, I think she’s bothered by it.”
“Looks like I’m on pick-up duty today.”
After leaving Wayne and Maude’s and asking the latter to give you a call at work to let you know he picked the baby up, Eddie spent the rest of the afternoon with baby Wayne. It involved a food fight—yes, Eddie flung some back at him, he had it coming, when Wayne had decided he was done being fed and done with food that wasn’t coming from your boob so he’d thrown the macaroni at his dad’s face—a shared shower to rid evidence of said food fight, jamming out (terribly) on toy musical instruments before Eddie gave him a bottle and some cuddles while he put Wayne down for his nap. . . And fell asleep with him.
You came home to a suspiciously quiet apartment, a little too clean, save for a couple of toys in the living room. You found your boys in Wayne’s nursery, both of them in the crib.
It was a heartwarming and comical sight, Eddie’s legs were dangling outside of the crib and the baby was curled up on his chest, though he stirred at the sound of the door opening, pushing himself up off his dad as he blinked lazily at you, mouth parting to reveal a couple of little white nubs in his gummy smile, teeth coming in.
He cooed softly, once. When you didn’t immediately go pick him up, he let out a stream of coos, loud and demanding but still loving as he tried to entice you over. When you still stood there giggling, he got mad, seemingly joining you in your laughter with his fake and very forced sounding baby laugh which quickly morphed into fake cries as he pushed himself to his feet and stood on Eddie’s chest, clinging to the bars of his crib as though he were a locked up criminal.
Eddie groaned, hands moving to grab your son and you finally made your way over, picking Wayne up—much to his utter delight—to relieve Eddie of his weight.
“Ouch, dude. You can’t just stand on people like that, it’s rude.” He croaked out, as his son’s weight was lifted off of his chest.
Eddie couldn’t even be annoyed, not when he could see Wayne scrambling eagerly in your arms, face rubbing into your neck, chest, cheek, anywhere the little guy could reach in his desperation and excitement to be as close as he could to his mama.
After giving Wayne’s tummy some tickles, amplifying his excited wiggles with a few ‘so excited, so excited’s, you leaned over so the both of you could stare down at Eddie, amusement cloaking your pretty features.
“I think it might be time to get you a big boy bed.”
Eddie huffed out a laugh and then groaned once more as he tried to sit up as much as he could, which wasn’t a whole lot given the fact half of him was hanging out of the crib.
“This is gonna be fun,” he mumbled, but eventually he was able to maneuver himself out of it without breaking it. He placed his hands on his lower back, arching until it gave away to a satisfying pop.
“Oh, yeah. That’s good.”
“Daddy’s so silly, huh?” You asked your son, bouncing him in your arms as you placed a kiss on his curly head before directing your next question to Eddie, “Is everything okay, baby?”
“Just peachy, honey.” He was definitely gonna have to ask you to rub his back tonight. “Wanted to have some one-on-one time with him, even if he regularly abandons me the moment you’re in sight.”
Eddie reached a finger out to tickle Wayne’s stomach, smirking when he laughed and tried to hide further in your hold.
You smiled at their interaction, though the joy quickly flitted from your expression, “Do you want to watch him? While I go pick up Penny?”
Another obvious tell something was wrong: you’d chosen to come home, put an intentional stop between getting off of work and picking up Penny. It was almost as though you needed time to prepare yourself, which was a giant freaking red flag to Eddie considering you used to drive straight over to her school and wait for her.
“Why don’t you stay with him? I can go pick her up.”
The light returned to your eyes.
“Really? I mean—I don’t mind, I don’t want to get in the way of your bonding time.”
“He’s clearly over me,” The sentence was whispered at his son with fake aggression, which left Wayne a giggling mess once more, Eddie chuckled and gave his son’s chin an affectionate squeeze and wiggle, “I’ll pick up Princess Penelope, she loves the disapproving looks people give me.”
“Shut up!” You laughed, leaning up to give him a kiss before he snatched his keys off the counter.
“I’ll see you soon, beautiful.”
“Say bye-bye to daddy!” You encouraged your baby, bouncing him a little against your hip.
“Buh-buh.” He waved his chunky little hand, smiling wide for his dad.
When Eddie collapsed into the door, hand clenched over his heart, you added, “Blow daddy a kiss!”
Baby Wayne lifted his palm to his mouth briefly before extending his arm out in Eddie’s direction, “Mah!”
Eddie pretended to catch it, smacked the invisible kiss over his mouth and blew one right back at his baby before he forced himself out the door.
His kid was so cute, it was a federal offense.
The drive to Penny’s preschool was short, thanks to living close by. Eddie hopped out of the van–he and a couple of the guys from the shop installed a backseat prior to Penny’s birth–and made his way to the waiting area. Eddie had never gone to a preschool as a kid so he couldn’t exactly judge the pick up and drop off routine, but Penny’s preschool rarely allowed anyone in. They simply walked up to one of the entrance doors, rang a special doorbell attached to the building, and one of the teachers or aides or whatever would verify the adult picking them up if they didn’t recognize them and then bring the kid out.
Which meant Eddie had to stand around with other adults. There’d been a couple of them already waiting when he’d arrived, so he’d made himself comfortable on a nearby column as he waited, mind once more preoccupied with reasons as to why you didn’t seem to enjoy picking Penny up anymore. You liked Penny’s teacher, could it be one of the aides giving you a hard time?
No. That’s something you would have told him.
Eddie was so distracted, he hadn’t noticed another body settle against the wall across from him.
“You a new dad? Haven’t seen you around before.”
“What?” Eddie blinked, roused from his thoughts. The guy across from him looked like he was in his mid thirties, dressed in a skeezy suit that looked like it belonged on a car lot rather than an office, and had really big, overly white teeth he couldn’t seem to put away.
“Not a new dad, a new dad to this school. Although, you do look a little young.” The stranger clarified with a shrug.
There was something about him that Eddie immediately disliked. He could tell this was not only their first interaction, it would also be their last.
“No, I usually do the drop off.” Eddie stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket, eyes flashing back to the entrance door just in time to make eye contact with one of the aides, he saw the recognition in her eyes before she closed the door again and felt less annoyed with the situation knowing she’d be retrieving Penny.
He hadn’t really left room for conversation, but the guy still continued.
“Gotcha, gotcha.” His head bobbed around, Eddie thought if he listened carefully enough, he could hear his brain rattling in there, “I used to be on drop off duty myself, but I hated getting the kids ready. I’ve got four of those little monsters, every little task takes goddamn near twenty minutes.”
Oh, no. This guy didn’t say it with annoyance, no, he seemed contemptuous when he talked about his kids. Eddie didn’t like that.
“Wouldn’t be so bad if my wife could just get a grip on them,” Maybe she could if she had help, you’re clearly useless, “Name’s Neil, by the way.”
Eddie just raised his chin in acknowledgement.
One would think ol’ Neil would catch on to Eddie not wanting to talk to him, but one would be wrong.
“Yup. ‘S why I’m not on drop off duty. Sure, the pick up has its faults, kids always smell like a stale fart from all that running around and they’re babbling non-stop the whole ride, but I think you’ll find you’ll like being on pick-up duty,” Then he leaned in, like he was telling a secret and whispered out, “Most of the hot moms do the pick-ups.”
That sixth sense Eddie had for you? Yeah, it was on freaking fire, hot red and jumping around. He was positive he now knew the reason behind your discomfort with picking Penny up.
Some fucking creep wouldn’t leave you alone.
Eddie’s jaw ticked, hands clenched into fists from the insides of his pockets. He didn’t say anything, but that wasn’t necessary with this guy.
“Man, you should see some of them. You gotta wonder why they only have one kid, I’d be all over that.” He gave a low whistle before he let out the most unflattering of cackles.
“You missed most of the show, but there’s this one mom–god, the body on this one. . .and she’s always done up, think she works in an office or something, but she’s a sight for sore eyes. A real MILF. She’s only got one kid, too. Little girl she picks up, so you know she’s tight.”
Eddie would be committing a crime, because he knew he was talking about you. He was going to murder this asshole. He was gonna strangle Neil with his own intestines and get rid of the body in the town dump where he belonged.
He must have not noticed the crazed glint in Eddie’s eyes because the idiot kept going, “I know what you’re thinking, I’m not actively planning on doing anything. Haven’t seen her in a couple of days, pretty sure she’s working late or something because she’s gotta be snatching this kid up late. Heard she’s married to some greasy mechanic and a pretty little thing like that coming to pick up her kid with these dads around? Shit, I wouldn’t be letting her out of the house. He’s signing her up for this. You gotta wonder if she likes the attention. She’s got this shy thing going on, though. Always so meek when I’m chatting her up. Not like my wife.”
Neil’s face contorted in disdain, “Four fucking kids, man.”
Okay, Eddie would be murdering him on behalf of you, and his wife. And the rest of the human population.
He’d had enough, it was time to make sure this shit wouldn’t be continuing.
“You got any pictures?” Eddie asked, feigning interest for the first time since he’d come up to him.
Neil scoffed and dug around in his pocket, “Wife won’t let me go anywhere without them, you know how it is. Constant reminders and all that, like she doesn’t trust me to not forget.”
Eddie tried not to snatch the photo out of his slimy hands, frown deepening when he realized Neil’s story about having a wife and kids was not in fact made up. Four beaming little faces stared back up at Eddie, with a pretty fifth smile in the picture. She was severely out of her husband’s league, seemingly juggling all the responsibilities on her own, all of them underappreciated and unfortunately stuck with him.
“Beautiful family,” He commented, eyes flashing to the door just as it opened to reveal Penny and the aide.
He returned the photo and pulled out his wallet from his pocket by its chain. Eddie flashed the photo inside to Neil, who immediately looked like he was going to shit himself.
The photo was of you sitting on the couch, Wayne sitting between your legs and Penny standing on the cushion next to you, clutching your shoulder as you all smiled for him.
Eddie slipped the wallet back into his pocket, and just as Penny began to run over, he leaned in to whisper like Neil had earlier, “Here’s what’s gonna happen: you're not ever gonna talk to my wife again or I’ll fuck you up. If you so much as look in her direction, I’ll kill you. If you think about her, I’ll beat you 'til the bones of my knuckles break through the skin. I’ll make sure you experience pain like you’ve never felt before. Bones can heal, but I promise you they don’t grow back, you pathetic fucking worm. You don’t deserve your wife, who gave you four fucking beautiful children, and you don’t deserve your kids, either. If I ever see her in public, I’m gonna tell her that so you’d better start appreciating her now. I’ve got a friend who wants a ton of kids and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind me sending him their way. Got it?”
Neil, good ol’ clammy, pale faced Neil swallowed hard and silently nodded as Penny finally reached him, arms already outstretched.
Eddie swooped her up before she ran into him, relishing in the way her arms wrapped tightly around him in a hug.
And this fucker was annoyed to have four little people who gave him these.
“Hi, sweet pea! Daddy’s just gonna finish up this conversation with Neil here and we’ll head home to mama, okay?”
Penny nodded eagerly, turning her head to stare inquisitively at the man she knew was her friend Izzy’s dad.
Eddie took Penny’s backpack off of her with her help and slid it over his free arm, “I’m glad we understand each other, Neil. And if we don’t, my buddy Steve’s on speed dial.”
He smirked as he walked away, leaving Neil both dumbstruck and terror stricken. Eddie didn’t even stop when he recalled a small inaccuracy Neil had mentioned, calling over his shoulder, “And we have two kids!”
What a jerk.
“Tell me about your day?” Eddie asked as he slid open the backseat door and leaned forward so Penny could climb into her booster seat.
“Oh, boy, daddy! It was long! First, teacher said we were gonna draw with crayons but she change-ed her mind and we got to paint with our fingers instead!”
She displayed her clean, paint free fingers for him as Eddie buckled her in, “Oh, yeah? Did you paint me a picture?”
“Yeah, ‘s in my pack pack. But we only gotted to paint for a little while ‘cause Stanley tried to eat it.”
“Not again, Stanley.”
“I know!”
Penny filled him in the rest of the drive home, while he got her out of her seat, the entire walk into the apartment building, only stopping when he opened the door for her and she caught sight of you.
“MOMMY!” She let go of Eddie’s hand to run into your waiting arms.
“Hi, baby! Did you have a good day at school?” You asked after you’d gotten in a good cuddle squeeze.
“Uh huh! I painted with my fingers!” Penny ran back to Eddie and dug around in the backpack now dangling at his side until she retrieved a very poorly folded piece of thick paper.
“I gotta show Waynie, first!”
She bypassed you and ran straight for her baby brother, who was clutching the seat cushion of the couch and bobbing up and down. He’d be walking any day now.
Eddie set Penny’s yellow backpack down on the counter as he closed the distance between you, arms wrapping around your middle to pull you flush up against him.
“I don’t know how you do it, they make you wait forever.” He groaned, pressing his forehead to yours as you laughed.
“It’s not that bad!”
“Yeah, well, regardless, you should be having a much easier time picking her up.”
It was easy for you to read between the lines and pick up his real meaning. Your eyes widened in surprise for a moment before they softened, and you leaned further into him, hands resting on Eddie’s shoulders.
“Thank you.”
You’d been afraid to mention the invasive and unwelcome attention you’d gained from one of the dads. Ashamed. He’d been vulgar, blatant and creepy. Even on the days he wouldn't approach you, you could still feel his eyes on you, on your body. It made you feel gross and cheap, even though you hadn’t done anything wrong. You’d politely tried to get away from him when you’d find yourself in that situation, but where you went, he followed. Soon, you’d begun waiting in your parked car until Neil left, and when that wasn’t good enough, you’d either go home and wait until just before they closed–which you hated because you didn’t like to keep Penny waiting there when she could be at home–or wait in the parking lot at work until you’d make it when all the other kids were mostly gone.
It was draining, and made you dread the end of the work day.
“You never have to thank me,” Eddie leaned down just as you leaned up to kiss him, mouths mingling a little more on the wet side since you knew neither of your kids’ attention was on you. When you finally broke away, Eddie licked his lips and sighed.
“Seriously, though. I don’t know how you do it. Men are gross and creepy, I wanted to deck him before he even really said anything. And what he did say–ugh. Let me know if you see his head turn in your direction, honey, ‘cause I made a promise I’m eager to not break.”
You hummed appreciatively as you leaned up for more kisses, “My hero.”
#pennyverse#dad!eddie munson#dad!eddie munson x reader#dad!eddie munson x mom!reader#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#dilf!eddie munson#stranger things#stranger things fanction#stranger things 4#stranger things volume 1#stranger things volume 2#stranger things vol 2#stranger things vol 1#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x black!reader#eddie munson x you#joe quinn x reader#joseph quinn x reader#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson fanfic#girl dad!eddie munson#queenimmadolla
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ALPHA TROLLS RANKED BY HOW WRONG THE FANDOM AT LARGE IS ABOUT THEM:
This is a personal challenge, based entirely on my own experience and perspective, and also ranked from Most to Least Correct. I was bored, and thought this might be fun.
Putting this under a cut, because it's long as hell.
MEULIN LEIJON
People get her mostly correct, from what I’ve seen… Most of the time, fan content of Meulin is absolutely recognizable as Meulin, but her pride in her deafness + joy of learning new ways to interact with the world through/due to her disability is always removed, and I do not often see people tackle the Toxic Positivity aspect of her character. That seems less like character assassination, though, and more like a combination of people not actually playing through the Openbounds, people not being able to fathom disabled people (especially those who gained a disability later in life rather than being born disabled) being happy, and general fandom distaste for the idea of touching anything uncomfortable, especially when that uncomfortable topic is highly mundane, normalized, and potentially applicable to them or their loved ones. Meulin’s toxic positivity was, of course, commentary on Tumblr’s ecosystem at the time, so… It was much harder to touch back then.
ARANEA SERKET
People tend to get her general, broad strokes personality right, but unfortunately she gets treated pretty roughly for the crime of Being A Serket. People refuse to understand her motivations, and she often gets demonized for what she was doing around/during [S] Game Over, even though that was something she’d gotten pushed to and also was cool as fuck to watch. God forbid a woman do anything.
DAMARA MEGIDO
People are right about the racism, 100%. It is completely despicable, hard to look at, and extremely blatant. She does, however, have character outside of that. No, it isn’t “whore”, it’s more like “angry, dysfunctional abuse victim”, and she’s genuinely a very interesting and tragic character. But, again, people are right about the racism, so she gets to be placed way up here.
MEENAH PEIXES
She is such a chaotic little bastard. I love her. I really do. Please understand that she genuinely does not understand the concept of consequences. This girl didn’t have a Lusus, she didn’t have parents, it was functionally illegal to tell her “No, you can’t do that.” That would fuck up literally anyone’s moral compass. That’s not me hand waving away all the fucked up and bad shit she’s done, we all know what she did, but people tend to forget this aspect of her character and it pains me deeply, because it is a very genuinely interesting concept that I want to see more of. She’s capable of regret, we’ve seen her feel it, I just don’t think foresight is her forte. No one raised her to consider consequences, or help her experience them in a healthy way, because nobody raised her period.
Also, her ass is not butch, she is the girliest girl in the entire comic. She is about hot pink and glitter and kiss marks and unicorns and cute little puns and you will respect that. She is not masculine. Her ass is not masculine nor is she butch. Let her be her hyper-feminine self.
LATULA PYROPE
Please for the love of god there is more to her character than “Gamer Girl” and “Mituna’s Girlfriend”. You are falling for her fucking ruse. Please. Please. Please recognize that her entire character is about internalized misogyny, and being forced to overcompensate for misogyny in gaming circles as a gamer who happens to be a woman. Please. I’m begging.
KURLOZ MAKARA
His character is not that deep, it’s mostly just a string of events he is mysteriously, inexplicably involved with. The Makaras are extremely Function Over Form- their characters practically do not exist, they're mostly just plot devices that exist to push the story along. I'm sorry to Makara fans. You just invented a guy in your mind and decided he was real.
He is also not that soft, though, and his relationships with both Meulin AND Mituna are not healthy. Hard to stop people from ascribing cutesy squishy lovey dynamics to random men who happened to have looked at each other once, though. Some people truly haven't graduated from 2012.
HORUSS ZAHHAK
I am begging people to consider that maybe the biggest issue here is not that he is “Bad Otherkin/Therian Representation” and is in fact maybe the fact that Hussie was actually making fun of Systems when he was writing Horuss. Because Horuss is canonically a system. He uses the word system. He uses the word switching. He uses the word host. He literally talks about his Plurality at length in extremely upfront, plain terms. I don’t know how him being “Bad Otherkin Representation” was and still is the main discourse about him. It makes me insane. That is a commentary that truly writes itself. Talk about having your priorities out of wack, honestly...
PORRIM MARYAM
No, she is not a MRA, she’s just a regular feminist who happens to live on a different planet with different politics and social hierarchies from Our Real World Earth’s USA. Whatever argument you’re about to pull out of your ass to say that she sucks is bad. She already explained what she meant by that, in more detail, very clearly, and she was right. Half the time she’s literally just giving you factual information about what Beforus was like, and literal plot synopses. She isn’t saying anything insane. She’s literally normal. I don’t know why people cannot handle or process this. Porrim has not ever said anything controversial. If you disagree with this you’re either misconstruing her on purpose or you fell for Kankri’s bait, and that’s just fucking sad at that point.
Also, she’s more than a sex object, and her tits are not huge. Honestly, half the shit she was saying was just “I am more than my sex life”, and so many people took that and made her main character trait her sex life. Just pathetic.
RUFIOH NITRAM
This man is a fucking war criminal and I will stop at nothing until he is behind bars for his crimes against Damara. Raging misogynist. Total fucking cunt. Just the worst. If I talk any more about this, this part will be 1,000 paragraphs long.
But also, I’m begging people to recognize his relationship with disability, too. He was similar to Meulin in the sense that he didn’t mind his disability, and his biggest gripe with it was the way that Horuss tried to “fix” it… Which is an interesting way to expand upon how Beforus’s culling system is not only very explicitly ableist, but mimicking real world systemic ableism. I also want people to recognize that Hussie is actively having a conversation about the reclamation of slurs with Rufioh’s character, and how not letting people reclaim such language is doing nothing but giving the word power against them while stripping away their own personal agency.
Rufioh’s a complicated guy, and he’s interesting and also the worst, and I am really tired of how he gets watered down to nothing but “Pretty Boy Victim Of His Inexplicably Psycho Ex”.
MITUNA CAPTOR
Holy Fucking Shit, You Guys Are Ableist.
KANKRI VANTAS
To this day I see people saying he was just Hussie making fun of SJWs. To this day. To this day people think Hussie was trying to make Every Tumblr Leftist look bad, and that he hates them Because They Are Leftists. When will people recognize him as a bootlicker to the oppressive class and the violently bigoted. When will people recognize that. When will people recognize that this is more of a commentary on the legitimate real flaws of Tumblr’s politics at the time. When. When.
When will people stop portraying him as a lovey-dovey Catholic Whore. I’m going to stab my fucking eyes out and then kill everyone in this building. Me when it's based and cool to ship an aroace character with a sexual predator. I GUESS.
CRONUS AMPORA
I say this with every ounce of sincerity I can possibly muster as a person: What the literal actual fuck.
#homestuck#homestuck fandom#alpha trolls#beforan trolls#dancestors#damara megido#rufioh nitram#mituna captor#kankri vantas#meulin leijon#porrim maryam#latula pyrope#aranea serket#horuss zahhak#kurloz makara#cronus ampora#meenah peixes#nekro.pdf#nekro.txt
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Hey can I get some johnny cage x fem reader angst where Johnny cheats on reader with sonya :(
Cardigan.
hi! thank you so much for the request. i'm not sure if i'm really good at writing something so emotional, but i tried my best.
tw: cheating.
GIF BY SOLIDSMAX ON TUMBLR.
REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!! also, for those who might be interested, i'm writing a multi chapter story in portuguese and i'm wondering if i should translate to english and post it here. can give yall some details later...
enjoy, beijos!
You knew.
It was obvious, undeniable. The inappropriate whispers, the quick glances full of malicious intent, two glasses of wine in the living room when he was supposed to be alone at the house you both shared. Nobody could ever close their eyes to something so painful, not even you, with all the love you had for him.
Johnny Cage always had wandering eyes, something you used to find funny. The mischievous, flirty jokes that attracted you remained there, but it was a matter of time for the target to be someone else. But John Carlton seemed different than Johnny, the cinema icon. John looked at you with sweet eyes, something that only existed for you, on that you could be sure. It was all yours. Until it wasn’t.
For some time you asked yourself why. But there wasn’t an answer. You accommodated him, made room for him in your life, saw him fail in directing all those films, watched the fights he won and took care of him in the ones he didn’t. You were not the reason. The reason didn’t exist. But you had to ask.
“Why?” You asked, the silence so uncomfortable you almost could touch it, in the bedroom that used to be yours. He didn’t answered. “Is it because she is a lieutenant? You liked the adrenaline?”
One last piece of clothing was put in your bag, a cardigan he had gave you long ago. He remained in silence, in front of the door, almost blocking it. You wanted a reaction, cries of apology, screams and pleads for you not to leave: there’s nothing. It is impressive that Cage is not speaking up.
"I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs, knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired"
He finally says something: your name. Eyes down, full of tears that don’t fall, an ocean blue stuck at his chest.
“And you can’t even say you’re sorry”
“I am.”
You had showed him all of your scars, he had kissed all of them, drawing constellations of stars in your skin and your heart. Now, he was becoming another one. One that would hurt do leave and take longer to heal.
“You don’t need to stay. Just say you forgive me.”
Even in this moment, he was still Johnny Cage. The one that wanted to feel good about himself. No mistakes, he wanted to be perfect.
“It’s too soon for that, John. You need the green light of forgiveness? Can’t give you that right now."
You close your bag. It’s done. On your way out, you ask yourself if tou can forgive him one day. But today, you only want to forget.
#dina writes! 🩷#id forgive him being honest#mortal kombat x reader#johnny cage x reader#mortal kombat
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I feel really isolated because I hardly see any trans masculine positivity posts,,,, The only posts I see,, that are even shared by my own friends,,, are those that are complaining about trans mascs and how we're evil, ugly, and ruining the trans community,,,, I don't know what I did wrong besides simply exist as a trans masculine person,,, I still face misogyny and now I'm facing transphobia from my own friends,,, I even had to block somebody who said 'I have never found trans males to be sexually attractive' and instead of people telling them that's transphobic everyone was agreeing with them,,, I don't know where to turn anymore because everyone hates trans men so badly,,,, plus it's interesting that ppl will say how much they hate trans men but then fetishize our bodies,,,
I feel you. It's so lonely and difficult sometimes. It can feel like the whole world hates you. But I promise it's not like that. There's a lot of people who love us, really.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. You didn't do anything wrong. And even if you did, it wouldn't justify this treatment. You are valid and amazing and you bring so much beauty to the world and to the queer community. I had to cut off a few internet friends who hated on trans men and I don't regret it one bit. If they hate trans masculine people, I suggest cutting these people off. They are not good friends to you.
My advice is to try to spend less time online. The hate is much more concentrated here, and it's much more openly vicious. We certainly do have bad things happening to us in real life, but from my experience at least, the hate online is on another level. There are encounters that we can't really prevent in real life, but you can control the majority of your interactions online. I suggest avoiding the hate as much as you can, even if it means not spending time on your favorite platform. It can seem like I'm stating the obvious and I probably am, but at the same time, when I struggled a lot with online hate on trans mascs, I would keep spending time in trans masc spaces on tumblr that are full of this hate. I think we have the tendency to dwell in the hate, for whatever reason. To reblog it to argue with it, to keep repeating the same points to people who don't care about the truth, to try to counter the lie that trans mascs have it easy by witnessing the hate as a getcha. I'm not saying that you do this necessarily, but I definitely did it.
My second advice is to go out and meet people who understand and support you. A wonderful way to do that is activism. If you can, join your local trans activist group! You don't have to have inspiring speeches on big podiums and argue with people. You can help with small practical tasks — those people are very much needed and appreciated! Or you can find your local queer events and go there. It can be intimidating at first, especially if you go alone, but there's always someone a little bit lost at these events. People get it. Again, it definitely can be very difficult, but try to talk to some trans people there. Or anyone, really. You will find out that there's a lot of people who support and get us. And people who might not fully understand yet, but they want to try and they want to help. Even these imperfect encounters will warm your heart enough to forget a little about all the hate, even just for a moment. And being in activist circles and hearing people say your exact thoughts out loud — oh man it's SO satisfying. These people don't even have to be your friends. I'm trying to be an activist and there are people who I have fun with and who give me a sense of community — yet I don't meet them outside of activism stuff because I know we aren't a good match to be friends. And yet, their existence in my life brings me a lot of warmth. Building community is the key, really.
I wish you the best of luck and strength and I hope you will feel better soon.
#answered#anon#transmasc positivity#trans man positivity#trans men positivity#trans masc positivity#posi#trans men#trans masc#trans man
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Hi hello, I've got a question, what that heck happened this week?? I haven't been active in awhile and I just logged back in here to follow an artist from tiktok, and I happened to see the conservative discord server screenshots on my "your tags" section. Is possible to get the sparks note version of what happened? (Sorry if the ask sounds weird, not very good at putting my thoughts into words)
Sorry I only answered this a few days later! You might already know what's happening by now, but in case you didn't I'll give you a TLDR:
- Tumblr user alasse-earfalas makes a post on LU's main tag advertising a conservative christian LU / LoZ server. She claims to want a safe space for those with similar views. What really catches people's attention is a part of the post that speaks about "Pride ideology" and how such "predatory" views aren't allowed in the server. In the same section she talks about wanting a space where characters are not "queered into oblivion." The vibes are utterly rancid.
- LU fandom immediately begins spiteposting. Everyone and their mother starts making LU queer headcanons or posts showing their support for the queer community. The memes flood in. "Queered into oblivion." is immediately reclaimed and added to people's lexicons. People are speedrunning how fast they can get banned off the server. There's almost a unanimous effort to make fun of bigots.
- Further controversy ensues under the surface. As it turns out, several religious people in the fandom had been interacting with Alasse and other people in the conservative server. It was impossible to know whether or not they shared similar views, but you can't blame people's caution. When questioned whether their blogs were safe for queer people, some gave very vague answers that pretty much dialed down to "I love everyone" or "I don't wanna talk about it." Neutrality in such instances is not reassuring for queer people, especially when the other side is claiming we are predatory. Afaik some people have redacted their statements or gone on to further clarify things. But some people still take a firmly neutral stance on the matter. (Don't ask who I haven't been following closely enough to know).
- A few days later Alasse comes back with a follow-up statement addressing the server. She pulls a mix between "gay people I respect VS gay people I don't respect." and "I'm not homophobic I have a gay friend." By stating that the server is not homophobic, but simply does not support the pride movement. Which is allegedly pushing to show porn to kids in school. When asked for a source on such a shocking claim someone on the server cites Fucking Matt Walsh rather than a non-biased and or scientific article. The transphobia also pops out when she claims the pride movement is trying to push surgeries on children (It's not. Children do not get gender realignment surgeries. You can find this out from five minutes on google). Addressing "queered into oblivion." Alasse goes on a rant about "queerwashing" characters, stating the Links are canonically straight and making them queer invalidates their identity. Alasse conveniently forgets that Nintendo has never canonically given Link a partner. She also forgets that bisexuality, asexuality and other sexualities that may include romantic attraction to the opposite sex do, in fact, exist. The rest of the post is whining about people joining the server to troll and basically just her reaping what she sowed for advertising on Tumblr Dot Com.
Aside for further outrage and memes, that's pretty much where we're up to so far. Things are dying down and hopefully the bigots will keep to their own corner and or fuck off from the fandom entirely.
#askbox#long post#Fuck it I'll tag as LU for anyone who hasnt been keeping up lol#linked universe#feel free to add any tidbits i missed
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Get to Know Me tag
Ultimate Addition
Been tagged with multiple versions of this. Will do this all in one.
And maybe this will be the definitive version.
Thanks to: @herrmannhalsteadproduction here, @sleepywriter00 here, @mk-writes-stuff here and here, @dyrewrites here, @infinnative here, @buffythevampirelover here, and @mysticstarlightduck here.
Tagging @illarian-rambling @gottestod-writes @cowboybrunch @blind-the-winds @uninspired-platypuss @little-peril-stories @loopyhoopywrites @its-on-site @aalinaaaaaa @randomlettrrsqqssfxwcvhxnqbwriro @thepeculiarbird + anyone else
(y'all don't have to do all of these - pick one. Honestly you can do all of them but like...only if you really want to)
Version 1
Last Song - Driving the Last Spike (Genesis)
Currently Watching - Star Trek Voyager in my trek marathon, still have a little bit of Phineas and Ferb to rewatch, MythBusters, Whose Line is it Anyway, The Bad Batch as it comes out, and I keep forgetting the last bit of Hamster and Gretel is on D+ rip
Three Ships - uhhh the least controversial I feel will be Robin/Starfire (Teen Titans), Kirk/Spock (Star Trek), and Dakota/Cavendish (Milo Murphy's Law)
Favorite color - T E A L 🩵💚 it slaps. Btw this: 🩵 is not teal but it's the emoji that pops up when I type teal wtf teal is GREENER that's like cyan which also has the same emoji I'm sick of people calling light blue teal
Currently reading - beta reading Whispers by @magic-is-something-we-create and making my way through Purple Hyacinth on Webtoon
Currently consuming - uh just woke up will have my coffee in a bit
Place of birth - Earth
Currently location - pretty sure it's Earth
Last movie - True Lies (first time watching)
Version 2
Are you named after anyone? No my mom was sick of the family name she was given so revolted against peer pressure.
When was the last time you cried? Uhh couple days ago got caught in traffic due to an accident and went a separate way only to find myself on the feeder road with more traffic from another accident so I had to pull into a Jaguar parking lot before I got full a panic attack
Do you have kids? No please dear God. Future students are my kids.
What sport do you/have you played? Soccer when I was like in kindergarten.
Do you sarcasm? See next answer
What's the first thing you notice about someone? That they exist
Eye color? Brown
Scary movie or happy ending? These aren't opposites?? Scary movies have happy endings! So happy endings.
Any talents? Uh, writing, I guess. Media analysis. I can read fast. I'm Gen Z and can write in cursive. I kick ass at the puzzle match mini game on Wii Party.
Where were you born? *Double checks* yeah still Earth
Hobbies? Writing, reading, watching TV, scrolling through Tumblr, media analysis, watching YouTube, daydreaming, listening to music, useless data analysis
Any pets? Two cats
Height? 5'4
Favorite subject? ELAR (reading/writing) that's why I want to teach it
Dream job? See above
Version 3
Currently reading - answered this above
Last song - I'm doing this on a different day (sorry) and now it's Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Queen)
Currently watching - said above
Current fic - uh I'm just reading the stuff I already said
Current hyperfixation - brain recently has been toggling between Phineas and Ferb, Teen Titans (2003), Avatar The Last Airbender, Megamind, and my WIP The Secret Portal so uh pick one
Favorite color - T E A L
Sweet/spicy/savory - I guess savory but yeah depends on mood
Relationship status - happily dating ❤️
Last thing I Googled - Ming-Na Wen (wanted to know her age. She's 60)
Song stuck in my head - currently Somebody To Love (Queen - was listening to the greatest hits)
Favorite food - my dad's food, specifically his Cincinnati chili and his cake
Dream trip - New Zealand or Tokyo
Version 4
(highlight what describes you)
APPEARANCE
Dark hair* // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don't often smile// I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards
*up for debate
ACTIVITIES/INTERESTS
I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami* // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during work or school breaks // I can do a handstand
*with instructions and not well
RELATIONSHIPS
I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year// I have a crush* // I have a friend I've known for ten years // my parents are together // I have dated my best friend+ // I am adopted // My crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship^ // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online
*does my gf count as a crush? I still act like it lol
+am dating
^i think this is referring to romance but I do have other friends in other states
SEASONS
I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sunrise* // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colours // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season
*I think once could be making that up
Take your bets if I'm an outdoorsy person (nope)
MISCELLANEOUS
I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of Sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower* // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed+ // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs
*quietly
+used to
EDIT: I've decided to add onto this post whenever I get a new get to know me tag, so from here on out this was not in the original post
Version 5
I'm over 5'5 / I wear glasses or contacts (glasses) / I have blonde hair / I often wear sweatshirts (I think some of them count?) / I prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / I have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / I typically wear makeup / i don't often smile / resting boss face / i play sports (was in soccer in kindergarten haha) / I play an instrument (used to, violin) / i know more than one language (I know some ASL but I've forgotten most of it... ) / I can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / I have never dated anyone / I have a best friend that I have known for over five years (Cado, how has it been seven years almost????) / I am an only child
Version 6
Last song: as of answering this, technically I watched Psych so the theme song!
Favorite color: you should know this at this point in the post
Currently watching: Psych like I said, also Star Trek Voyager and a few on the side still (see above)
Sweet/spicy/savory: see Version 3
Current obsession: ...Psych but also my WIPs :)
Last thing I googled: thesaurus because I was doing the @sipofsnips and didn't have the word this morning
Favorite season: they all suck but I'll go with fall
Skill I'd like to learn: I want to draw good
Best advice: "thinking about it counts as working on it" because it's changed my outlook on how much I get done in a day, "progress is progress" for similar reasons but more general, and generally that if you burn yourself out trying to do everything nothing gets done
Woo! This was a LOT holy shit. Hope you know more about me!
Version 7
A scent you love: ooh cookies baking smells wonderful
Something you're looking forward to this week: finals finished yesterday which means more free time for me! I get to catch up on reading and writing!!
Currently reading: beta for Whispers by @magic-is-something-we-create WHICH I CAN FINALLY GET BACK TO WOOOO
Currently playing: not a video game person sorry - but I've been occasionally picking at mobile games like Animal Restaurant
Most recent movie: uh... When did I last watch a movie?? I think it was True Lies?? First time watching. Wasn't expecting it to be as chaotic as it was.
Current show: Star Trek Voyager and Psych! Partially rewatch/first time watching every episode and total rewatch respectively! I've not seen either since middle school so this is super exciting
Favorite season: autumn because it's starting to get cooler and pollen isn't everywhere
Recently learned: took a life in the universe class this semester and learned a lot about life in the universe (obviously) and while I have mixed feelings about the class MAN the content was fascinating
Water intake: currently drinking water like always :) । have to pee
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hello! im currently questioning whether I am disordered or not. I was wondering if you would be willing to share your experiences if you're comfortable or maybe share some good resources about what its like being disordered because im really lost rn. this blog is great btw! take care of yourself <3
Hey there! Glad you enjoy my blog, sorry it took a bit to get to this. This is the first night in like a month that I have any free time whatsoever (and that's cause I'm putting off grades, lol...)
I hope you don't mind a bulletpointer on this one!
Disordered experiences...
Firstly, I cannot overstate how fucking everything about me is impacted by trauma. Physical health? I get sick more often because my body has fought as hard as it has to survive -- it's an actual thing that traumatized people get physically sick more often. Mental health? Shit. Depression's comorbid, anxiety is comorbid, and I've even seen discussions about the connections between autism and DID, and those two do not mix well in me. All of my everything is constantly fucked.
I cannot goddamn sleep. Sleep is a goddamn hellscape. I run from somewhere between 2 to 6 hours of sleep most nights, and have to take plenty of naps just to survive. That makes it next to impossible some days to get the energy I need, or if I did get enough nappies, to get the free-time I need.
In terms of my actual DID... Amnesia is the biggest one. I constantly have gaps. I have to write every single thing down. I have plenty of accomodations, sure! But even those fail from time to time, and then it's just a spiral. Like, today at work, I had a surprise meeting I did not write down, because I just forgot to. I forgot about the meeting until 10 minutes prior, when I got an alert in my email about it. This meant I skipped lunch, and had to try and focus without having eaten since 9am. This made my day harder, which led to...
Dissociation!!! God fuck. It's so hard to focus sometimes. I am so spaced out. Today was one of those days where I had to cling to my phone for survival and grounding. Not the healthiest coping mechanism, but it's better to be writing posts on tumblr during class than forgetting I'm in class at all. And none of the kids snitch on me -- just get a little pissy if I don't call on them quickly enough.
Trauma flashbacks. Ough. If I get stuck in one, goodbye ability to think for awhile. It's been happening more and more frequently at work lately, so there goes my 30 minute lunch spent in the bathroom forgetting I exist because I feel like I'm going to my parents house after school.
That ties into paranoia. I have to convince myself more often than not that, when I get home, my abusers won't be there. I'm 26 and haven't directly lived with them in 3 years, and I cut them off close to a year ago. I still wake up thinking they're breaking in.
That's about all I can think off quick, off the top of my head. Basically... owie owie my brain is a big ol bruise.
#syscourse#asks#anon#blurry#Not sure who helped write this#I think#kitty caught the rabbit#armageddon comes while I'm sleeping
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https://www.tumblr.com/olivianyx/745166766023557120/please-help-me-how-can-i-change-my-life-if-i
hi, I’m the girl who wrote, I just saw that you answered me since I don’t use Tumblr and don’t know much about it. 😅
1. Is emptiness real, because some channels say that emptiness is supposedly us, and it does not have the power to manifest all our desires after we leave it?
2. I have such a desire that the man who lives with my mother, stepfather, so to speak, would simply disappear after I made a wish in the void and after the night I woke up and went to my mother and asked where he was and she said like who He? And how does it work because as soon as I enter the void, they won’t be able to forget about my stepfather while I’m in the void. Is this real or not? I am where he will be, where he will disappear, and even acquaintances and in general all the people who were acquaintances with my mother and stepfather, so that they, too, somehow do not remember that mother and stepfather were together. Well, this is most likely a revision?
3. Or I can reconsider my 2022 year because I then moved to Italy and I didn’t really know Italian then and the teachers left me to teach this year again. It’s as if my brother and I were born on the same day and it’s as if we should be together this year for the 2nd year of study, but I’m the first one left. But I have one more month left in my plans to finish this year, and if I manage to get into the void, then I’ll just reconsider that in September I will be in the 3rd year of study, but in a different school or distance learning format. 4. And to change my appearance, but for people to remember me with the desired appearance, this is possible, since I simply enter the void and not them, how can I erase their memory, or at least change the grades on the school website, it’s as if the teachers gave such assessments and they know about them
Heyy! Sorry for the late response 😭
1. Yes, emptiness is real (I'd say this as the void state) as we are our true selves in that state. It's not actually a state but our true form. And there's nothing like we can't manifest our desires after coming out of the state. We manifest all the time, so don't put that on the pedestal that it's a magical state where all your dreams come true. But I'd agree that it's instant cus there's nothing opposing you in that state.
2. Okay honestly this question's is a bit silly tho 😭 actually when you enter into the void, you return to your original form, THE CREATOR. So when that happens, you can do whatever you want. Since you want your step dad to disappear, you affirm that in the void. When you do that and come out, there's an instant shift in the reality. So you'll wake up in the reality where your step dad doesn't exist. So please understand that you don't have to worry about your memories of your stepdad, you can choose to erase his existence in your memory too. Idk why this void is so over complicated tho 😭😭😭 people literally ask the dumbest questions without research (actually if your new to the void state stuffs, then pardon me 😭) well if your step dad doesn't exist in your reality, then no one would know about him. So don't worry about it. And yes, it's basically like a revision.
3. Yes, you can do that if you want to.
4. Yes, you can do that too.
Sorry for the late response once again. I'm just too lazy to answer you asks 😭
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I thought himbo meant very oblivious (and I guess dumb, but I've seen it mostly as just lacking certain situational awareness) but deeply caring guy who's also very attractive. I've never really seen it in the context of being slutty, just super hot. Sometimes the sexual nature is brought up but that's just Tumblr being horny on main
Anon I'm very sorry to tell you this but... The word has always been sexual. It means stupid slut. It's existed for a long time, well before Tumblr, and has meant stupid slut (and pretty much ONLY stupid slut. All that stuff about being nice and caring is pretty much just a Tumblr addition to make it less threatening or something)
It's basically been completely babyfied on Tumblr to the point that people forget this, but if you actually have conversations outside of here you'll quickly remember that the quirky "nice dumb guy uwu" connotation is a very online thing. And the word does in fact mean stupid slut, it's just been totally neutered by fandom blorbo posts to be less charged and more cutsie. But the real life connection doesn't actually magically go away once you apply it to real life people either
Also, hell, even if you do take out the sexual connotation to make it more generally approachable IT'S STILL A FUCKING INSULT THAT MEANS STUPID!!!! YOU CAN'T GO AROUND CALLING REAL LIFE PEOPLE STUPID LIKE THEY'RE YOUR FUCKING ANIME BOYS!!!
And you know what, if you wanna use it to talk about your blorbos like that IDC! That's totally fine and not hurting anyone. But sometimes it's important to remember that perhaps people's real life little siblings aren't free game to talk about that way, because that's weird and creepy on so many levels (even with the neutered definition tbh) like, what are we doing here rn?
It's a word that's always meant stupid slut, fandom people watered it down as fandom tends to do, and now there are plenty of people who forget how to act about it in non-fandom ways when it comes to real people. A tale as old as Tumblr....
My little brothers aren't blorbos you can talk about however you want, you can't go around calling them words that are sexually charged or insults just because you decided they actually mean something cute now. Like, imagine if I called your (teenage) family member a sexy idiotic whore and decided "sexy idiotic whore actually means nice person :) that's how me and my friends say it so that's what it means. So I said a nice thing so don't be mad 🤭" like that's weird right? That would be weird. It's kind of the same fucking thing. Stop that forever.
#I'm sorry if I'm being harsh but these are still my. again. real life little brothers#like I'm sick of those ''himbo'' replies on a post where I'm sharing a family story. there's a time and place and its not here#luckily it's not that many but honestly even one person being weird like that is enough to make me wanna turn off rbs forever#and also strangle them
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAS!!
This drawing came actually pretty late, I'm really really sorry, but I hope it still counts! I made it with all my patience and heart in 11 h so... It better worths the while >:p
Don't mind me simping under the cut @goldazu || @ruki--mukami
Well, let's talk with truth and heart because those are the meaningful words we have in the world to speak.
First, I send to you past Mai 26 a single message with a happy birthday while I was... in the middle of something at the university, sleepless and stressed. Yes, a hard day with... 48 hours of speedrun...
I wrote something like I really hoped you were doing fine; but I really wanted to do more, I had this drawing on mind that moment but I wasn't able to do it.
But that didn't stop me you see, I wanted to do something special for you because you, honestly, you deserve it.
I think that every single soul that decides to share their inner worlds in any art branch that ever existed need to have a mutual like you. Not only because the wholesome and fulfilling support you give and the kindness you sprout to people around you but the way you show yourself so dedicated to your blog. Everything is so organized and your writing is perfect cause it feels so real! (sometimes I feel like Ruki is a real person and right behind there is you, the secretary, writing his speech with a bloc-note XD).
Girl, it's inspiring, I meant it a lot. And I hope, as you said, it stays like this a little bit longer, no matter how much. It will be fine.
I have to confess, before I met you I really have been having a little bit of troubles around my character. I was unsure that Cassie would find a place to develop her personality. Like... She has phases, right? And she could be amazingly cheerful and a literal sunlight at the beginning but she... Is more like that in the surface, you see. But none crossed that line. I think the problem was that I hadn't found in that time the kind of roleplay that I was looking at. The roleplay that sinks into the deepest parts of the characters and that make them give opinions, do more complicated actions, express themselves in the way they truly are. But, since the day you met Cassie you have been supporting me and I have been feeling a lot of confidence about my character. You really made me want to come back to Tumblr with a lot of energy, to renew and rethink my character, and show all her sides, all the beauty that she is intended to give, the lightest and the darkest side of her. And I granted part of this inspiration to you .
And, Jas, did you remember? Cuz I think I wouldn't forget it in my life——
Girl you made me a fanart of my girl in my birthday when you barely knew me!! I was like: I LOVE IT BUT WHY?! I was surprised! I wasn't expecting anything like that! And it made me so happy that I could barely keep myself entirely! (Also that day I was feeling pretty bad, I was having a terrible day and that simple thing changed completely my humor. No people physically around me understood it, but I didn't give a shit! I was happy! For true! Btw the picture is still in my smart clock and I don't plan to quit it uwu).
No matter the time you took to answer, that doesn't stop me to enjoy roleplaying with you. I'm glad you feel fulfilled with your life and I hope you can still walk to the future with all hopes.
I'm glad for having in my memory the day I clumsily popped into your inbox.
And, again, happy birthday Jas. I appreciate you a lot ♥️
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Looooong ass vent
TW for: Self hate. Lots of swearing. Use of not nice words. Eating disorders, purging, self harm, suicide, rants, venting, tons of triggers, dissociation, lying, all caps, me whining, me being a bitch, mistreatment, body shaming, hateful stuff, mental illness, all that- like seriously this has more TWs than I can think of. .
I'm a jealous person. I'm sorry, it's true. I'm jealous when other people have art that gets 40, 50, more notes. I get jealous when my friends have better friends than I ever could be. I get jealous of song writers because damnit please I want to make music. I get jealous of others art,voices, bodies. I get so jealous I get mad at nothing over nothing. I get jealous at others art styles, at other success, i get jealous at my own FRIENDS wow I'm awful
I'm selfish. I'm greedy because I can't just- be fucking happy with what i do have. I can't be patient to get better at drawing, better at recording my voice, more freedom. I am never satisfied, I'm a fucking whore for any sort of love and attention and likes and reblogs. You hear me? I'm, a, whore.
And I'm fucking awful because I can't take criticism for shit, I get so fucking unhappy at it and I lie and I say I'm happy to receive it. I lie all the time like this, I'm a dishonest whore, that's worse than a normal whore! I get so bent out of shape!
And I want to make it big in the Tumblr community BUT FUCK IT BECAUSE I NEVER FOCUS ON ONE THING
M so impatient
And when I talk to my friends I-
I forget all that. I calm down, I feel... wanted.
But I'm burdening them. I'm burdening them I'm burdening them I'm I'm fucking selfish and horrible because they give and give and give and I take like a needy selfish greedy whore.
AND I DON'T SHUT UP, I'm sorry I'm sorry I never shut up
...I'm... awful. And... I shouldn't keep posting shit like this, because nobody should have to read my rambling and shit and I'm overreacting and I want to die and
Im useless irl BTW. I've been nothing but a stupid moody bitch the past two weeks, I stay up all night doing nothing and wake up at 5 pm like a useless piece of human shit that should burn in the garbage
I keep forgetting who I am, who is talking too
Im sooooooooo uselessssssssssss
Its fucking because I think my family would be happier if I didn't exist. Because that'd be one less stupid moody bitch that can't do anything and hides in their room all day that they have to deal with
Im lazy I get apathetic I have no motivation to do anything and I don't cry at sad movies like a broken robot and everything about me is wrong
And my father wanted a daughter so fucking badly, but I'm not a girl I'm nothing and he'd be so mad if I ever told him
And BTW I'm literally awful like I've run out of things I'm a jealous whore
M a whore because all tye time I think of stupid sexual stuff and then I feel disgusted I'm disgusting I barely take showers
I'm pathetic btw I never finish anything I start I have so many half assed AUs and drafts and fanfics and art and chores and needs and shit
and I sit in my room all day and play on my phone like a fucking loser. Im also really stupid btw, I don't know half the shit I'm supposed too and I can't spell shit or know history AND I HAVE THE ABILITY TO LEARN BUT IM SUCH A STUPID FUCKING BITCH I NEVER DO ANYTHING
I'm also a hypocrite because I get so snappy and shit with my siblings when they do nothing wrong except be annoying or something but when I feel justified I shouldn't because I'm still a shitty person
I barely reach out to my friends unless they text first, I'm a horrible friend that never listens I'm sorry I'm sorry I never meant to abandon anyone
And I can't take blame or accountability I'm sorry I am shit why do I keep trying to hide behind myself??
Its past 6 am,people are statving and in here venting like a bitch
I never shut up
I Bother people
i sleep in and I'm moody and I demand attention like a whore whose demanding love idfk
I never know anything, I'm rude as hell
Im sorry
and I'm protective over shit nobody cares about, I'm so damn defensive
Im sorry I'm not doing better I'm sorry I'm not improving myself. I'm so mad at myself I have so much anger at myself I direct it at innocent people I'm sorry
I HAVE NO EXCUSES, IM SO FUCKING SELF AWARE OF THIS BUT I KEEP DOING IT KM SO DAMN FHCKONG DUM IM LUTERALLY COUNTING HOW MANY WORDS OF SELF HSTE
Its justified BTW, i deserve hate
I feel like I'm lying abt being a system and artistic and depressed and anxiety like what I'd I just suddenly decided I had them?? I swear I promise I'm not faking I'm not I don't want to lie I want to be good I never meant to hurt anyone BUT I FEEL LIKE IM A FAKING BITCH
I binge food and throw it up, I hide food like a greedy pig just to purge I take others food because I'm so gluttonous and I LIE about it
and I vent and vent and vent and... and I still hate myself
I'm so fucking manipulative because anytime I talk I CSNT STOP IMSGING HOW THE CONVERSATION WILL GO, I CANT STOP TRYONG TO FUCKING GET MY WAY IRL, AHHGHGBTIDDHDH I ALEATS ACT LIKE I KNOW EVERYTHING WHEN I DONT and I purposefully annoy my siblings so they leave thr kitchen so I can binge like a fat pig, I'm a hypocrite too in every aspect. I'm toxic ok im awful
I s/h and then i forget about it so its not even a problem but I whine like it is and I want to do it so badly rn I wanna go deep
AND I RUINED MYSELF WITH UGLY SCATS they're so ugly like me inside and out
And I wanna cry and
and I'm so awful because like I get so... idk, I am. I've done shifty things, I'm a shit person. I act sweet than a condescending little bitch
and sometimes the smallest things set me off
Im jealous of everyone else
Hell I'm fucking jealous of people I've never met, I want so much so badly I'm so greedy and lustful for it and selfish
In... conclusion? The world, would, be, better, without, me
I'm useless, lazy, stupid, jealous, slutty, angry, sad, pitiful, pathetic, fat looking, no good child, moody, stereotypical, ugly, hateful, chatter box, greedy, selfish. Gluttonous, messy, dirty. I'm all the bad stuff
Dont lie, these are facts. I have so much awful in me, the world wpuld be better off without me
#tw ed but not sheeran#vent#self h@rm#cw#tw sui ideation#tw sui vent#tw sui implied#tw s3lf harm#tw self destructive behavior#tw skipping meals#tw self destruction#tw emetophobia#Tw#tw purging#tw swearing#disordered eating cw#cw vent#tw mental illness#tw mentally ill#tw mental health#tw self hate#self hate#i just hate everything right now#i hate calories#i hate my body#i hate everything#i hate this#i hate it here#regrets#tw everything
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Given
Admittedly, I read this manga a long time ago. Like when chapters were still coming out. I was still in high school at the time (holy fuck) and couldn't really articulate my feelings as well as I can now.
I had left this review (bits and pieces of it) on a manga site and decided I might as well put it on my tumblr, finetuning it, of course. First post, because in spite of its flaws, Given is still close to my heart. And I reread it again (somewhat) to make this a better review. I hope each person who reads this will reimburse me with 50 cents each (jk don't). So here it is. My impression of Given, with !!some!! talk about how SA is treated in BL/Yaoi culture in general.
Or not, this is just my two cents with no anthropology degree.
Do take what I say with a grain of salt, a piece of creative media does not exist in a vacuum, but this review treats it as one at times because I'm not really skilled enough to talk about any wider implications. I'm just some guy giving my review.
Spoilers ahead. Go ahead.
TW: Sexual Assault.
Honestly, this manga made me feel a lot. Good and bad feelings. But let's focus on what I liked.
Ugetsu.
He's on the phone, shhh.
I found Ugetsu to be a very compelling character, and it was a huge shame that he vanished partway through the manga. Basically? I have no criticisms about him as a character, he has his flaws and he's nuanced. He's interesting and compelling, and it's clear that he's someone who is still growing and learning to walk on his own two feet. I won't deny that his relationship with Akihiko was very toxic, but I definitely think this isn't something that can be blamed solely on him.
But with this out of the way. Let's talk about the pairings.
Let's talk about Akiharu.
Kizu Natsuki is an amazing artist... Even when I have certain issues with this manga.
Well. I have a lot of qualms with Akiharu.
For starters, Akihiko assaulted Haruki. I'll never forget that. The fact that they ended up getting together anyway was a huge point of contention for me. Given was framed as a story about love more than a traditional story about BL/yaoi which (sorry) usually leans towards the sex. (This is not to say that sex and romance are separated, well they are but they are linked rather than being one in the same. You can have either, like they're hot/cold water but they come from the same faucet.)
But I feel that having this scene in rather than an argument feels completely wrong. I'm someone who will digest pretty much anything the world throws at me, but the Akiharu assault scene came off wrong and it came off scary. (Note: I say scary but I definitely mean much more than that, I just feel like "shouldn't be romanticized" doesn't encapsulate all of it. This topic is not something I'm qualified to talk about, so I don't want to overstep any boundaries.)
And to be honest, that's good because SA shouldn't be romanticised, for that, a big well done to our author. I just wish the aftermath was dealt with better.
This is terrifying. Please retract your words.
In spite of the SA scene being scary, afterwards all seemed to be resolved the moment it was revealed that Akihiko had nowhere else to go.
Everything for them goes uphill from here. Yay.
I just have to wonder what was the point of that buildup if you were just going to allow things to end nicely like that. With a scene like that, you'd think that the manga was saying that "SA is scary, it's terrifying and it's something that you shouldn't forget even if it's BL/Yaoi." But, why did it end up like this.
What I'm trying to say is: What does it matter that Akihiko apologised (twice), he still assaulted Haruki, he assaulted a friend. Even worse is the way that they're framed as a healthy couple afterwards, this just made me all the more uncomfortable. I feel like this is saying "SA is scary" but also saying "the power of love and friendship absolves everything". I've seen some people talk about the fact that SA happened, but haven't seen them say how it was "resolved". I think it's more to do with yaoi/BL fiction culture, that we've grown to accept SA that is unaddressed in our media to the point that Akihiko's apology is like a prayer more than something that's not even worth a second glance.
Saying that Akiharu started off rocky is an understatement, but if I pretend it never happened, I can say for sure that they are much healthier than Akigetsu, and they deserve each other. It's just not good storytelling especially because I don't really understand the motivations of Haruki liking Akihiko.
I once said that Haruki's character arc was based on Akihiko and that was my bad. I was wrong. Haruki, in fact, has a minor character arc, that isn't really to do with Akihiko, about how he feels insecure surrounded by geniuses in the band and this gets resolved by Akihiko saying that they wouldn't be able to function if all of them were geniuses, and Haruki himself seeing Akihiko hard at work. But I had completely forgotten about this arc, my bad, but my point still stands. Haruki deserved a better character arc.
I don't have a smart comment for this unfortunately. Eat your veggies??
In spite of saying this, I'm not an Akiharu hater, I swear. But I just found that ship much less compelling than Akigetsu in general. Akigetsu was a relationship where they were both incredibly toxic towards each other, there was an imbalance in the fact that Ugetsu literally owned the place they were living in, as well as how he'd kick Akihiko out whenever things were rocky. However, I think the end of their relationship was dealt well on both sides, their toxicity towards each other was framed in a negative light as it should have been. They ended the relationship and went their separate ways, this was the best ending for them. For Akiharu and Akigetsu: The difference between these two relationships is that one was dealt well and the other was dealt wrong. Akiharu deserve each other and Ugetsu deserves to learn how to grow by himself.
Anyway, another point of contention was, in spite of the healthy nature of Akiharu. Somehow, the friendship between the two couples seems to have waned and it was pretty disappointing to see. I think it started before this, but the first time it was obvious to me was this scene.
I know you're in the middle of something, but don't be mean to Mafuyu >:(.
Context: This is Chapter 40. Akiharu are in a moment of intimacy and Uenoyama is knocking at their door trying to get advice.
We've seen that Mafuyu is a very reserved person, to see that Akihiko was so ready to tell Mafuyu to stop coming over (even if it is to stop him from coming over so suddely) right to his face was extremely immature.
Basically, imagine if that had been Mafuyu. Personally, I feel like Mafuyu would have been hurt like hell and closed right back up. This scene is something played for laughs and that's something so disappointing. Given is shown to be a band of friends, but in the end it seemed more like two couples who hang out sometimes. Also the fact that both Akihiko and Haruki are pushing Uenoyama to get Mafuyu to rejoin the band. That's something else that bothers me heavily. That they're treating Mafuyu as Uenoyama's responsibility because they're dating. It's a band that is sure to fall apart if you are not making an effort to support each other equally. I mean, it doesn't have to be entirely equal but points for effort and they get no points here. It's funny because they were at least a little self-aware of this prior.
Dating in a band is something that is nuanced, of course. But it sure is funny to see them practically go down the same route they condemned.
That's my criticism of Akiharu.
So, what about the other instance of SA? I'm talking about Shizusumi and Hiiragi, of course.
Let's talk about Shizuragi.
Here they are! Let's talk about them!
Admittedly the first time around, I wasn't particularly into Shizuragi, I was too busy mourning the absense of Ugetsu. But it was during their sex scene where I realised something was very wrong. I was having flashbacks to the Akiharu assault chapter but this time it was played as "love" rather than something reprehensible. Once again, assault was in the manga and it, once again, resolved with badly.
I feel like sexual assault being played off as "love" and being resolved literally the next chapter with the victim being all kosher with it, should be garnering people's "??? what the fuck"s and not to bat for the opposing team for once but where are the complaints. I've actually seen some people talking about this chapter, but I would have expected more.
Hiiragi said he was scared and was crying, but they still fucked anyway. :D <- smile of shock.
Um what. Haha... ha........ :D <- terrifed smile of shock.
I don't know whether it would have been worse that he knew he was assaulting Hiiragi or whether he didn't know at all. But he knew.
Shizusumi confessed his love the morning after and it was all okay. But, to be honest, the fact that it was played off as being "all okay" makes this even worse. It's normal in yaoi/BL for SA to be played off as love, but you'd think that the last place you'd see this is in Given of all places. SA is SA and the fact that Hiiragi was so accepting of what happened to him afterwards says something about this the culture of BL/yaoi and how we just go along with it says something about this sentiment of how "yaoi is always going to be yaoi".
We're done? We're done.
There are no more SA scenes (that I can remember). But I do want to touch on Mafuyu and Uenoyama as briefly as possible (This is a recount of my experience after all). So, Mafuyama.
Ah, yes. The start of everything.
Admittedly, I didn't actually find their relationship super compelling. This is because I tend to get tunnel vision on characters I like (in this case, I heavily tunnel visioned on Ugetsu). I do like them both, they just didn't fit within my vision. I thought they were sweet but I also see a lot of complaints about how Mafuyu was stuck on Yuki and Uenoyama was getting backseated and I do agree with this. Kind of.
I think Mafuyu's story is about growth as a person, it's like what people say: You don't move on or lose your grief, you grow around it. Grief doesn't get smaller, you just get bigger. The person he loved died and I don't think it's fair to say that he has to get over Yuki. Grief is something that sticks with you everywhere, something you have to carry every day. They're still teenagers, they're still young and still have room to grow.
But as a story? Sheesh, instead of Haruki having no place in their circle. I felt like Uenoyama, even when he's the protagonist, wasn't given his spotlight in his own story. There is no character arc for him, there is nothing for him and that's just not fair. There are two people in a relationship, so why does it always feel like, narratively, Uenoyama always comes as an afterthought?
You could have had a character arc about this... Relationships are meant to be balanced, sweetie...
I just think it's a shame, but they're nowhere near as unhealthy as the other couples in Given, so I'm giving them a gold star.
(Minor irk, I do not remember when this happened but why the hell does Yayoi (Uenoyama's sister) get a character arc (where she comes to an understanding about Mafuyama feelings for each other, but also the gay in general) but the man himself doesn't?)
So, with Mafuyama, I feel like the story could have focused a little more on Uenoyama's side. But I feel like it's similar to how Haruki's story kind of got the backseat to Akigetsu drama happenings at the time. Shrug, we can't have it all.
He's beautiful...
That's honestly... all my thoughts. Wow! That was a lot of them. I think there's a lot to be said about how yaoi treats SA and dub-con in general, even in a manga that's not even focused on the sex.
With that said, I don't think BL shouldn't have SA or dubious scenes but the aftermath should be dealt with better afterwards. I think with Given, it's a start that the SA (at least with Akiharu) wasn't romanticised, but the aftermath was just poorly executed.
But I'm not the yaoi police, I hold no authority and I don't support purity culture. I'm not an anti-anything and I also believe that fiction should be fiction. What people enjoy should no way equate to a person's worldview. But, this was just all my perspective and my opinion. I said it and now I'm done. Haha... Anyway, my paypal is—
#given#given manga#manga review#murata ugetsu#akihiko kaji#haruki nakayama#shizusumi yagi#hiiragi kashima#just my thoughts#my silly silly thoughts#GIVE ME YOUR MONEY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (jk don't)
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I'm gonna be very Controversiàle, but I think people who are against trigger warning bad news are speaking from a place of privilege
Cause don't get me wrong, we need to know and see what's happening but sending people to the hospital because you think a trigger warning on a flashing video about gaza is a morally bad thing is not gonna help anything, and in fact you are speaking from a place in which if that were to happen to you, it wouldn't matter.
some people are an er visit away to be in crippling medical debt. some people will go weeks experiencing psychotic episodes because you think watching snuff videos is mandatory and a virtue. If youre assuming that anyone that's keeping tabs on Gaza can just be subjected to heavy shit with no repercussions other than being upset, then you're speaking from a place of privilege.
most if not of these people who ask trigger warnings are already aware of what's happening and are already trying their best to spread informations and donations. seeing one less footage is not gonna make them forget about gaza. having one less seizure in theit life is not gonna make Israel win sorry. I feel like people are so up in chasing a catharsis of making people go "my god, I was wrong!" that they forget that their own internet cultivated space is already populated by people who already support Palestine. Let me be clear again cause this is Tumblr. I think that footage should exist. I think the news need to get circulated. But the people who are asking for simple content warning are not the same people that are ignorant about the genocide and are sided with Israel. Some people don't need to see the babies corpses to start doing activism. Plenty of people are horrified and talking about it without seeing the last corpse of the day.
Why the fuck did we go from "your own comfort is less important than what's happening" to "abilism is cool actually. fuck your triggers special snowflake"
Like there are people who are turning a blind eye and need to be shaken to their core but chief I don't think it's that teen Tumblr user whos gonna get a panic attack so you can feel on higher ground. This is just people biting at each other while they're thinking and doing the same thing really.
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Still Not Dead
*triumphant music plays in the background*
Do you remember me, MHA critical people? Did you forget my non-existent face, after all the time I've been away? Did you miss me?
*record scratch*
Of course you didn't. Welp... too bad for you.
Anyways, I'd like to clarify, for those curious, that I am not, in fact dead. Nor have I give up on Tumblr, this account, or MHA. However, it has been an... unpleasant time in my life (again, still, use whatever tense you want), for awhile now, which is why my posting had been dropping steadily until it's dramatic cratering straight into the earth, and I haven't had the energy to post; hell, I haven't checked the recent chapters in awhile now!
...Hoo boy. From what I've picked up, I am not looking forward to that.
Anyways, I've recovered somewhat, so I'm going to try and post more often (read, at all) now, and to all the poor, poor people trapped in my inbox for all this time... I'm really sorry about that. I'm trying, I promise.
Side note: Are the things I write really that long?
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