#i'm not angry anymore well sometimes i am (about)
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Readmore for length due to throwing headcanons and app info below.
TRIGGER WARNING: Brief references to anxiety and depression in summary section. Writing sample hints at child abuse/neglect and references pot and alcohol use.
In summary:
A bunch of trauma and trust issues bottled up into fake smiles and using partying as an attempt at forgetting everything. He’s fine though. Totally not fine.
Unspoken fear of losing the found family he has leaves him treading carefully. Not necessarily a visible trait but there may be anxiety toward losing people that can be blamed on never positively processing being disowned
Took the brunt of his parents’ antics/anger and kept quiet about it, still has minimal interest toward letting that slip to Regulus. Not happy with keeping that a secret, but figures it’s better to shoulder on his own than risk fully shattering whatever warped view of the family Regulus has as the youngest.
Was never keen on opening up about family. Can count the number of people he trusts with that info on one hand.
Plays into androgynous looks. Only positive to come from being disowned (besides found family of course) was getting to be more free in expressing himself.
The type of teen that would have stolen one of his cousins’ skirts and been offended by their being offended/annoyed or having the audacity to ask for it back. I can’t stop thinking of this scene from the Umbrella Academy.
Big fan of Queen and David Bowie.
Finds his motorbike equally as freeing as a broomstick, simply has a preference for the more hands-on maintenance that’s required for the bike’s upkeep.
His fingernails are painted more often than not. Habit of picking polish off if stressed.
100% threatened to permanently charm neon pink nail polish on his nails the day Orion called it an issue.
Dramatic since birth.
Would have had professors fooled with being quiet the first couple of weeks of school just to turn into a loud mouth once certain the school’s way of handling his hijinks didn’t involve his parents’ approach in doing so.
The app info:
Birthday: Born November 3, 1960, Sirius was meant to be the answer to the Black family’s hopes of an heir. A Scorpio through and through, it shouldn’t have been all that surprising the heir’s sarcastic and precocious side shined. Birthdays weren’t something Sirius looked forward to while home. It wasn’t exactly something his parents made a big deal about and was usually met with disappointment. Ill thought out gifts with the intent of stifling his curiosity and creativity. In truth, things that would have been more suitable for Regulus than himself. That opinion changed once at Hogwarts and he won’t admit to it now, but the first proper party that involved well thought out gifts and not simply acknowledging for the sake of knowing he’d make a scene had left him in tears.
Wand: 7 ½ inches, fir, curupira hair. Getting his wand was a rushed trip that involved Walburga expecting it to be a one and done sort of ordeal. The first two wands backfired and Sirius can still clearly recall being told to halt his mischief even though he wasn’t doing anything. He was almost certain a failed third attempt would result in being pulled out of the shop by his ear. The third try proved to be his though, and there was no hiding the grin at realizing he had been given a core that could be just as mischievous as he was.
Amortentia: Freshly mowed grass, whiskey, and cigar smoke are the scents that seem hellbent on sticking around. The first comes from Sirius having used quidditch as an outlet during school. The second serves as a form of self-medicating (he’s fine - the drinking isn’t an issue and he knows when to stop before it turns into making shit life choices). Alcohol has been just as much a friend as his actual friends have been so there’s no giving it up at this point. Cigar smoke is a peculiar one since it’s specifically the brand his father smoked. There are few happy memories of Grimmauld Place but the scent is familiar and enough to serve as a reminder that he still has people back there that he misses.
Boggart: When time came for facing boggarts at Hogwarts, Sirius did the unexpected and stuck to the back of the line of students. While many would have expected him to go running head on into the class experience, a boggart wasn’t on his priority list. Certainly not when that meant the risk of students and a professor being able to put a face to the shrill tone that came from his mother’s howlers. Things got as far as the sound of high heels echoing from the closet before he mumbled riddikulus and replaced what would have been his mother’s rapid approach with marbles rolling across the classroom floor. It was before anyone could speculate since he didn’t want questions about his homelife to come about. More recently, things have come down to fearing Regulus dying. A rather ridiculous fear considering his own well-being should be on the list and the rather tense relationship between them as of recent, but there’s a layer of guilt. That guilt has lingered ever since he left home without so much as a looking back. Regulus was the opposite — the golden child of the two siblings — and Sirius hasn’t stopped presuming the worst since leaving him behind in their family’s clutches.
Patronus OR No Patronus: Happiness has been hard to find as of recent and Sirius is good at faking it. He can produce a patronus if needed, with its corporeal form taking on the shape of a dog that is similar to his animagus form. Moments of happiness are few and Sirius has no shame in admitting he relies on memories of goofing off with his friends or Mrs. Potter’s hugs as a way of fueling the spell.
Writing Sample:
The tears had come from nowhere, and Sirius hadn’t even summoned the courage to walk up the path that led to the Potter’s home. A mix of fear, frustration, and exhaustion pooled in his stomach. He had taken to playing with the muggle lighter he kept on him from the very moment the Knight Bus dropped him off a street away from his best friend’s home.
Worse yet, he didn’t have it in him to light one of the blunts or take a sip from the flask in his jacket pocket. Too emotional and too much trauma surrounding the argument that ensued before it came to his name getting blasted off the family tapestry. It was something he had assumed would happen eventually. A threat that had lingered since the day his mother realized it was somewhat effective. He had merely figured she would have waited until he was of age to do something instead of acting a year earlier than he anticipated.
She hadn’t opted for using her fists or her wand to get her point across, and that was something Sirius was grateful for. There would have been no explanation if he showed up bloodied or bruised in a spot that wasn’t easily hidden by his robes. The moment spent trying to summon the courage and mask of happiness he usually plastered on felt like an eternity.
He didn’t have his watch on him, but it had to have been five minutes of standing on the sidewalk with a blank expression and his trunk clutched firmly in his hand. No one passed by though, so he was able to remain there uninterrupted.
Another moment, then the teen took a steadying breath. His lip quivered as he headed toward the Potter’s, fist shaking once he reached up to knock on the door. The door opened and Sirius was appalled to be face-to-face with Euphemia. He had grown far too used to keeping up the persona of being the life of the party. Always smiling, grateful to be welcomed as a guest, and quick to make sure mannerisms from back home didn’t pop up while over. He couldn’t summon any of it, though, instead shifting uncomfortably on the balls of his feet. Sirius didn’t make eye contact when she asked if things were okay, simply hiccoughing in response. It took a soft “Sirius,” and a hand on his shoulder to make him look up with an expression that was similar to a deer in headlights.
“Sorry, I-“ He trailed off before he got to stammering and quickly shook his head, wrapping his arms around his middle. “I shouldn’t have… but there’s nowhere else to… they… tapestry.” The words were barely a coherent sentence, but seemed to be enough to get the point across, earning a loud sob when he wasn’t asked anything else and was gently pulled in for a hug.
#tw: anxiety#tw: abuse#tw: marijuana#tw: depression#tw: alcohol#tag drop#take from me my lace (closet)#shut up and be happy (event)#oh well whatever never mind (musings)#hey babe your hair's alright (visage)#what's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it? (marauders)#my weekend's at an all time low (threads)#i'm not angry anymore well sometimes i am (about)#i don't think badly of you well sometimes i do (regulus)#raise a little hell (records)
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make you cry | part two: beomgyu's ending
part one | part three: hyuka's ending
pairing: choi beomgyu x you
summary: after your feelings for beomgyu are revealed, you take some time to heal from your "breakup". as for beomgyu, he's realizing just how important you are to him, but it may be too little too late.
genre: romance, angst, smut (MDNI), fwb
warnings: smut (mdni), unprotected sex, creampie, sub!gyu, oral (f. rec), dacryphilia, dirty talk, praise, degradation (m. rec), if i missed anything lmk
word count: 3.4k
notes: hello again friends! am i satisfied with this? no. am i still posting it? YES. as you may know, there will be an alternate ending with hyuka as the lead. i will probably post that on my bday (the 24th). until then, i hope you enjoy this! and again.. pls don't be mean ;_; i'm still new to writing smut and this is not proofread
it’s almost been a year since the night you said goodbye to beomgyu. time has healed most things, but your rage certainly helped speed it along. throwing away old polaroids beomgyu took of the both of you, past birthday cards he wrote when he was feeling particularly sentimental, and clothes he had forgotten to take home with him most definitely aided your catharsis, even if you did it all in the midst of a rampage. do you regret it now that you’re relatively calm? maybe a little bit, but not having reminders of beomgyu around your home outweighs any sliver of regret you may or may not harbor. traces of him fade from your body first, then your mind, then your heart. you still sort of miss him, that much is clear, but when you really think about it, you’re not sure why that is. so you try not to think about it at all.
you're doing okay now, truly. it's not like you forgive him or anything, but you're not as angry as you used to be, which, you know, is better than nothing. you regret sleeping with him, regret not speaking up for yourself sooner, even regret taking his hand when he held it in front of you all those years ago, but you're starting to realize that it doesn't matter anymore. what's done is done, no use crying over it any longer. as for everything beomgyu did to you, he did it and he meant it. fuck whatever explanations he has.
on beomgyu’s end, it's not like he hasn't tried to contact you, but that only resulted in you blocking him on every conceivable plane. he convinced one of his friends to give him his instagram login so he can see your posts, but that’s about all he has to go off of these days. from the looks of it, it seems like you’re doing pretty well on your own. your friendship with kai seems to have strengthened because you’re calling him your best friend now, and who knows if you’re fucking each other. the jealousy he feels is all-consuming. to be honest, beomgyu knows he wasn’t the best of friends towards you, even before the hooking up, but he still feels wronged somehow. he’s thought, in great detail, about how he would act if the roles were reversed, but that only makes him feel worse. because he’d forgive you. he’d be angry for a while, this much he knows, but he’d always forgive you. you are, or were, his best friend, after all. and maybe even something more, but he doesn’t want to think about that.
he’s shown up at your apartment, too. especially while drunk. sometimes, it’s because he misses you. most times, it’s because he’s so drunk it feels like the only place that feels like home. you never open the door, though. he likes to think it’s because you’re not there, but after the fifth time, he knows better.
-
well, it had to happen sooner or later. your town is only so big and your friend circle is so small, of course running into beomgyu was not a matter of if, but when. even still, he looks positively shocked to see you at the house party of one of kai’s friends. as soon as you lock eyes with him, you know you’re in for it. you should leave, and you really, really would, but it’s a birthday party and kai’s your designated driver. you’d make him look bad if you left so soon, so you decide the best course of action is to get drunk so your head stops hurting. after downing some drinks, you carefully avoid beomgyu and make your way to some random bedroom just to cool off.
you’re a few drinks in, head buzzing and tongue feeling heavy. it was bitter work, but each shot had you feeling less and less suffocated by beomgyu’s presence. you wish you didn’t care as much as you do, but the feeling is still there. seeing him should spark nothing in you, but you can’t help but feel indignant. and honestly? a little sad, too. things have gotten better, but all the old feelings have been dredged up with a vengeance.
while you’re trying not to think about him, as if on cue, beomgyu bursts through the door.
“h-hi,” he says hesitantly. really? that’s it? hi?
“uh… hi?” you say unsurely, kind of at a loss for words.
“how are you?”
“what do you want?” you ask as if he’s a fly who won’t stop buzzing around you. he supposes, in a way, he is.
“i-i just wanna talk to you,” he says meekly.
“about what? there's nothing left to say,” you argue. and with that, you rise from the bed, preparing to leave.
“i’m sorry!” he exclaims, the words leaving his mouth before he can get a chance to reel them back in. “i’m just… really, really sorry.”
“i don’t care,” you say flatly, crossing your arms and not even sparing him a glance. now that stings.
“but i’m sorry!” he repeats, just like a child. “can’t you forgive me?”
“and what exactly are you sorry for?” you turn to look at him. “sorry for treating me like shit for years, sorry you fucked me when i told you i wasn’t interested, or sorry because i’m not there at your beck and call anymore?” his face crumbles at your unforgiving words.
“i’m… i’m sorry for how i treated you. i know i was wrong, but i’ll never do it again if you just give me a chance.”
“no,” you reply firmly.
“please?” he begs, teary-eyed and words unsteady.
“what exactly do you want from me?” you sigh irritatedly. “if you want things to go back to how they were before, you’re out of your fucking mind.”
“what if i don’t want things to go back to how they were?
“then what do you want?” you ask, genuinely curious now.
“i want you, that’s all. things don’t need to go back to how they were. i just need you.”
“need me?” you laugh dryly. “you need me now? you only miss me because you don’t have me at your service anymore. stop wasting my fucking time.”
“that’s not true! i miss you. i-i know i’m late, but i really miss you. i’m sorry i didn’t realize it sooner.” he looks so… pathetic like this. it’d be sad if it weren’t so goddamn vindicating. before you can come up with a response, he’s hurriedly saying his next words.
“i-if you wanted me to learn my lesson, i’ve learned it. i promise i have. i promise i’ll never, ever take you for granted again.”
“beomgyu,” you sigh, closing your eyes and massaging your temples, “this isn’t about teaching you a lesson. this is about me not being willing to put up with you anymore.” he looks absolutely devastated by your harsh words.
“i’m begging you,” he says, voice shaking like a leaf.
“why does it matter? what, you haven’t been able to get your dick wet? do you need pussy on tap again?” he blushes at your words. you must’ve hit a sore spot.
“so that’s it. you don’t miss me at all. you just want to take advantage of me.” you don’t know why, but your own words don’t just hurt him, but yourself. you’re not sure what you were expecting, but you can't help but feel disappointed. missing you is still all about him. what he wants, what he thinks he needs.
“i love you,” he says. what?
“w-what?”
“i love you,” he repeats with more vigor. "i didn’t know it then, but i know it now. i miss you so much because i love you. and i want to be with you.” this whole thing is so ridiculous, you don’t know whether to laugh in his face or beat the shit out of him, but you can’t deny the way your heart flutters (and clenches) at his words.
“you have no idea what you’re talking about,” you say coldly. what the hell does beomgyu know about love? love is selfless, self-sacrificing. he doesn’t know a fucking thing about that. this must be a new way of trying to keep you all to himself. but it’s working.
“i know you don’t think i do, and i understand why. i just want you to give me a chance to show you that i mean it. i’ll do anything.”
he’s annoying, no doubt, but you like how he looks when he begs. you could get used to this.
how do you say no to him when he’s begging so feverishly like this? beomgyu hasn’t begged for anything in his fucking life. he hasn’t needed to, given how easily everything has worked out for him thus far. but this new side of him sparks a new fire in you you had no idea existed. you’re struck with a sadistic new idea you will probably regret, but right now? you want to act on it.
“anything?”
“anything,” he says so quickly you can’t help but laugh a little.
“then strip,” you command.
“w-what?” he asks, eyes blown wide in shock.
“you heard me.”
“b-but the party?”
“whatever,” you sneer. “if you’re not going to do it, i’m leaving.” you turn to leave, but he yanks you back and looks at you with pleading eyes.
“i’ll do it,” he says with newfound determination. you slyly lock the door and he gulps before pulling his shirt over his head. he’s been naked before you many times, but this feels different. he feels like he’s being scrutinized to a degree where he can feel your eyes boring into him. you tilt your chin up and raise your eyebrows expectantly. with shaky hands, he undoes his pants and lets them fall to the floor. he’s embarrassingly hard already, if the tent in his boxers is of any indication, which only makes you smile meanly.
“i don’t remember telling you to stop,” you say arrogantly. he gulps and finishes undressing, cock slapping comically into his stomach. he stands fully naked and feels smaller than he ever has. you push him onto the bed and he wonders what you have in store for him.
you straddle him, still fully clothed, but hiking your dress up just a bit so he can see how soaked you are through your panties. he whines when you take one of his hardened nipples between your fingers and experimentally tweak it.
“do you like that, beomie?”
he nods feverishly and says “like it, like it so much!” you smirk in satisfaction as you plant a searing kiss on his chest and he can’t bite back his moans. between you sucking a blooming hickey and toying with his chest, his mind is fuzzy and all he can feel is pure ecstasy.
this isn’t about him, though. and you make that clear when you move and situate your clothed pussy over his face.
“sit on my face, please, please, please. wanna taste you,” he cries. well, you won’t say no this time.
you hold onto the headboard as he moves your ruined panties to the side and he gasps when he sees how wet you are. he whines again, showing you just how badly he wants to be in it, but all you do is lower yourself onto him. his tongue is skilled, just like it’s always been, but there’s a sense of desperation that wasn’t there before. he switches between fucking your hole with his warm tongue and sucking on your clit like a man starved. you feel your legs buckling as you reach your end, but his hands grip your soft thighs even after you finish, lapping at your pussy like a damn dog.
“ah, too much! b-bad boy!” you exclaim. that doesn’t stop him though, and now you’re sober enough to notice how desperately he’s fucking into nothing at all. his cock, usually so pretty and pink, is now a deep red color from the lack of reprieve.
you thread one hand in his hair, just to have something to hold onto, and he groans into your pussy when you lightly tug his hair. before you can do anything more, you’re falling apart on his tongue and crying out his name. a sound he never thought in a million years he’d hear again, but what a lovely sound it is.
“sit on my cock, p-please?” he begs when you finally raise from his face.
“you’re not in a position to be asking me for anything, beomgyu,” you say.
“please? baby, it’s aching.” you throw a look back and see he’s right. it’s beet red and leaking an ungodly amount of precum. your pussy clenches around nothing when you see how desperate he is for you.
“please? need you,” he says with tears in his eyes.
after all this time, you’re still so fucking weak for him. you sigh as you take off your dress and his eyes widen when he watches your breasts bounce as you toss the tiny little thing somewhere behind you.
he goes to grab them, but you slap his hands away and it’s all he can do to keep himself from kicking his feet like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
“but why?!” he asks frustratedly.
“bad boys don’t get to touch,” you shrug, and he’s a split second away from whining when you harshly grab the base of his cock, shutting him up once and for all. before you can lower yourself onto him, he’s cutting into your desire with his next words.
“a-are you fucking him?” he asks meekly. it doesn’t take a genius to figure out he’s talking about kai.
“why do you care? aren’t you the one who’s always going on and on about ‘no strings attached’?” you spit and he looks sorrier than you’ve ever seen him. to be honest, you’re not fucking kai. you’ve never seen each other that way, actually. he’s been nothing short of amazing to you, to be sure, but his lingering feelings for his ex and yours for beomgyu didn’t make for the best foundation for love. at this point, you were the best of friends. nothing more, nothing less. but beomgyu doesn’t need to know that.
any words of complaint on his part are cut short by you sinking down on him.
“mmh… o-oh my god,” he says hoarsely as the tip of his cock pushes through your entrance. it’s always been a tight fit, but you’ve been celibate for nearly a whole year. your muscles aren’t used to the intrusion and he can feel it. still, you continue sinking down onto him until every inch is sheathed in you and he’s touching your cervix. you can swear you feel him in your womb. his tears are falling freely now as he can feel you adjust around him, pussy clenching against your will as you try to accommodate his length and girth.
“s-so pretty,” he says as his bleary eyes try to focus on you. you let out an airy laugh, but truthfully, you aren’t faring much better. he looks so perfect like this, sobs coming from his pretty mouth and tears spilling over his reddened cheeks. that’s all the permission you need to really start. slowly, you pull yourself up with no little effort on your part. your pussy nearly turns inside out trying to get yourself off of his length. the lewd image engraves itself in his eyes and he cries even harder.
“l-love you, love you, love you so much,” he whines, eyes rolling back from the pleasure. his mouth is open and you think you might even see a bit of drool pooling at the corners of his lips. you don’t respond, but instead you mercilessly sink back down in one fluid motion.
“ah!” you both cry out at the feeling. you’re so full, you can barely stand it, so you don’t. up and down, you begin bobbing on his cock with little regard for his sorry state. he grabs your hips, pulling you down and fucking up into you, not once letting you falter in your pace. his grip will leave bruises, but you’re not interested in the repercussions of your actions now as beomgyu grits his teeth and rams harder and harder into you. he’s so lost in the feeling, he no longer cares about your so-called rules as he grabs your bare tits and pops one in his mouth. he begins sucking and rubbing his tongue on it and his big, veiny hand is busy teasing the other one.
“i- i thought i said you don’t get to touch,” you manage to choke out between gasps.
“c-can’t help it! your tits are so pretty!” he says as if it’s completely out of his control. and it really might be. beomgyu doesn’t look like he’s in control of anything at this very moment. he just didn’t realize how much he’d love the feeling. with his words of praise and the suckling of your chest, you feel yourself coming closer and closer to the edge.
“gyu, i’m coming!” you exclaim as spasm around him. a few seconds later, and you feel his hot seed overflowing from your insides. after a couple of more sloppy thrusts, you’re collapsing on top of him and panting heavily.
“so good, so perfect,” he whispers before pulling out. what you don’t expect is how he flips you over onto the bed and slides himself in your aching cunt again.
“g-gyu?!” you stutter.
“j-jus’ wanna show you how much i missed you,” he slurs, mouth agape and eyes totally glazed over. he hikes your legs up over his shoulders and pistons in and out of you at an ungodly pace. he’s so deep, you can feel hot tears spring in your eyes as you struggle to take all of him in. he leans over and shoves his tongue in your accepting mouth.
“good pussy,” he says in a daze when he parts from you. “so fucking tight. j-jus’ for me, right?” he asks, and you can hear the insecurity in his voice. you’re silent for a moment before you answer quietly.
“just for you.” he smiles as if he’s relieved and continues to fuck you into the mattress until he’s painting your insides again. he pulls out and the sinful sight of cum leaking out of your puffy hole sears his eyes. you look so beautiful like this, when you’re full of nothing but him. the thought of doing this forever, just you and him and no one else, is enough to make him feel happiness he’s never felt before.
he collapses next to you and pulls you into his warm embrace. he’s never done this before. not after sex, anyway, but he’s shown you the most vulnerable sides of him tonight. the sides you used to cry about not being able to see.
“you didn’t answer my question before,” beomgyu whispers.
“what?” you ask, still in a daze.
“are you fucking him?” you want to sit up and smack him, but he cages you in his arms. leave it to beomgyu to ruin the mood
“... no, but i just don’t see why you would care. weren’t you getting your dick wet until you couldn’t find anyone else?”
“i wasn’t! i… i couldn’t get hard for them…” he trails off, almost hoping you didn’t hear. but you did. you don’t know whether to laugh or cry. is he serious?
“and the only reason why i’m asking is because i just can’t stand to see you with anyone else.” for some reason, your temper flares at this.
“yeah? well imagine how i felt for years.” he’s silent at this. how can he make up for years of making you feel like garbage? and how could you bear feeling like this for years on end? it hasn’t quite been a year for him yet, but he feels absolutely gutted. every day without you is miserable, to say the very least. and seeing you with someone else? heartbreaking.
“being together is a bad idea,” you sigh after putting some thought into it. “we’ll just fight and —”
“we won’t fight!” he exclaims. “why would we fight? i’ll just listen to anything you say!”
oh. you could really, really get used to this.
notes pt. 2: is it normal to never be satisfied w what u write? bc that's how i feel ;_; but whatever! it is what it is i fear. anyway, i hope u still enjoyed it!
taglist: @my313 @superbbananananana @lonelybutterflytae @cherrycolaberry @everythingvirgoes @beomnoullitheorem @sunny4cast
series taglist*: @gothraccoons @jaxyy219 @idontwantoeatspicy @soobsfairy444 @denleave1088 @notevenheretbh1 @fairfootedflekk @hihello-pinky @ilovesimjaeyun143 @sweetttkissess @seolis-world @midwinterblizzard @slutty-cherry @run2min
*not everyone's tag options were open, but i still put ur user in so u can see that i tried!! also, if you're an ageless blog, i'd prefer if you didn't read my works even if you're not a minor because it makes me uncomfortable. for that reason, you were not tagged. thank u friends <3
#niningtori#make you cry#beomgyu hard thoughts#beomgyu hard hours#beomgyu smut#txt smut#txt hard hours#txt hard thoughts#mdni#beomgyu x reader#beomgyu angst#txt angst
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The Perfect Gifts for Travel Lovers: Thoughtful and Practical Recommendations
Travel enthusiasts crave new experiences and adventure. Enhance their journeys with practical gifts like a power bank, travel journal, packing cubes, and more. Happy gifting!
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✿ 》 Will you talk to me again?
╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; I don't expect this to do well because its not smut but it'd be nice !! reblogs appreciated, support your creators :)
╰⧼ ☀️ features.. ⧽ ; @saelique angst collab!! dazai x gn!reader, WC ; 784
╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; angst, reader isn't alive, letter from dazai. he's trying very hard to keep himself stable but it's not working™.
To my dearest ______ .
It's been a while, hasn't it? I hope you don't mind me writing to you like this, it's simply been too long. I'm sure you're still angry at me, so seeing you physically isn't my best interest right now! haha, I'm sorry. you know I'm just joking around, don't you? I'd love to see you in person. I'm sure you would've punched my arm if you heard me out loud right now, wouldn't you? I'm glad I'm spared of the bruises.
what does someone put in a letter? that's what I was asking myself before I even began writing. I decided that the best way to do something like this was to just write whatever I feel true as pen touches paper. I hope it makes sense to you, at the least. if I'm pouring my heart out on some paper only for it to be misunderstood, it feels like a waste, no?
though, i'd be lying if i said it wouldn't be rather cute to see you try to fathom what I mean. did you know you scrunch your nose like a bunny sometimes when you're reading? I'm sure you're doing that now too. you'll get wrinkles very at this rate ..
but anyway, I managed to prank kunikida the other day! you remember that hair dye trick I'd told you about? I managed to break into his apartment and swap out his shampoo, at last! he came into work the next day with black hair, it was hilarious, you should've been here! he was so angry with me. beat me black and blue!
oh, _____. I got a new heated blanket for our bed, you know? it took a while to save up for it, and I had to cut out some other necessities, sure. but it makes everything so much better! I hate cold beds, I'm sure you know that better then anyone. haha, back before we moved in together when I'd break into your apartment and crawl into bed with you. I'm sorry for the amount of locks I broke, but your place was so cozy!
... you know, it's been really hard without you here. I miss you so painfully, and I don't mean to call into the void without even an echo, but its killing me to pretend I'm fine about any of this. I'm not fine with this, how am I supposed to be? I wish it was just a bad dream.
I don't want to have to write letters to you anymore, ______. I don't want to have to buy heated blankets to try and stop my arms from aching for your warmth. I don't want you to be angry with me, I'm sorry I didn't apologise to you before you were gone. I shouldn't have been so stupid.
i had so many words on my mind that I was too afraid to say. maybe if I faced myself and told you 'I love you' it would've stopped you leaving.
have you met odasaku yet? has he told you any stories of his time? I wish I could hear your voice again. I wish you could answer my questions. even to hear you scoff at my stupidity again would heal me. I'm sorry I was annoying, I just wanted your attention. it stings knowing I'll never get it again.
I can't keep repeating to myself that you're not gone. I can't keep buying your perfume and pretending that you're in the next room over. your pillow doesn't smell like you anymore.
I wish I could apologise properly. I wish I could've stopped you from leaving the house that night. I wish I could kill myself to join you and yet I know we won't cross paths again in the afterlife. you were always too good for me, ______. i was nothing compared to you.
i picked up a homeless dog yesterday. you'd always wanted a puppy, I'm sorry I never let you bring one home. I named it after you. im trying to get used to them, I promise. if I couldn't save you, I'll save your name.
I'm sorry. if I continue writing, my throat will hurt more. its strange, isn't it? crying makes your throat sore. I forgot what it was like for a while, I remember laying in your arms wondering if I'd ever have a reason to cry again. now I can't seem to help myself.
keep your wings clean for me, white looks good on you. its a shame you couldn't wear the wedding attire i wished to see you in one day. you would've looked amazing.
I'll write again, missing you is the greatest honor.
sincerely, your osamu.
#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs x reader#bsd x reader#bungo stray dogs imagines#bungo stray dogs x you#dazai osamu#bungou stray dogs dazai#bsd dazai#bsd fic#bsd#bsd angst#bungo stray dogs angst#dazai x y/n#dazai osamu x reader#dazai x reader#dazai angst#dazai osamu fic#dazai oneshot#dazai osamu angst#angst
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Traveler's little helper -Extra-:
Curiosity - Nahida (feat Sumeru Boys x Fem!Reader)
This is something I wanted to post before... I went to the small hiatus, now I finished this short thing but sorry for mistakes, it's 1 Am now and I'm tired...
[ Teyvat , Mondstadt , Liyue ]
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Nahida found it interesting, how can you still not be able to see those boys holding affections towards you. At first she wondered “Are you really blind for their courting? Or maybe you don’t want to see it?”
You’re very friendly, no matter if it’s a guy or girl, if you want to take someone somewhere you won’t hesitate to hold their hand, if someone is sad you always offering a hug. But she did notice that when it comes to guys, there are sometimes a moments when you do realize that you got ‘too close’ and start to feel a bit shy, apologizing to them. But then how could you not notice how they pout for not feeling warmth of your hand anymore?
The easiest way is to ask you and she did.
-“Those boys really like spending time with you…but I can’t help and wonder…which one do you like the most?” you looked at her with confusion
-“Which one? Hmm.. I like them all, after all they are my good friends!” You smiled so brightly to her. “Ah so you’re just that oblivious.” She thought back then.
Nahida always liked to observe people and because of this she noticed the difference in behavior for some of the guys.
Wanderer was the first one she noticed the changes in him.
That’s not a secret that Wanderer enjoys watching people expressions, especially the negative ones. Making others angry is his little fun in everyday live. And at first it was the same with you, being rude or ignoring you to just see your angry face but this changed. To Nahida’s surprise she noticed how lately he have been only teasing you just to see your embarrassed face and not only that. It seems Wanderer started to like seeing your smile.
When at first he would complain when you asked him to help with commissions, now he ‘offers’ help himself to do them.
The next one was Kaveh. Always stressed and troubled by many things. But after you invited him to the Teapot he seems more relaxed and happy, of course you couldn’t take away his debt but you helped him a bit whenever you could. She noticed that Kaveh is more calm when discussing things with the clients about his projects. Before he would get angry quickly because of the stress and not wanting to be scammed again but now it looks like he’s more clearheaded to find common ground on both sides. There is less arguments between him and Alhaitham those days as well, but in exchange now most of the time they clash with each other when it comes to you.
The General Mahamatra have two modes, the work on and the work off, but at some point Nahida noticed that there one more “(Y/n) is here mode on”. You don’t mind his jokes, you would smile or even let a small laugh when he tell ones and when you do that, Nahida can see Cyno smiling too. Everyone knows how serious Cyno is when it comes to TCG, he won’t even show mercy when playing against you. But if someone paying close attention to Cyno they would notice how sometimes he gets deconcentrated by watching you choosing next cards. You’re good player but sometimes he lose because he got lost in his thoughts about you.
Tighnari was better at hiding his affections towards you, at least when there were more people around. Nahida was watching you two as a little bird, you would listen to Tighnari talking about flowers but sometimes he would decorate your hair with some or giving you bouquets but you never knew the meaning behind them, this is only fact that Tighnari hid from you. You’re the only person who have permission to brush his tail or touch his ears, Nahida can’t count of her fingers now how many times Tighnari was so close to kiss you in moments like this. The little Dendro Archon can always see how Tighnari is protective over you, especially if you get hurt. No matter if the wound is small, Tighnari will always take care of it and softly scold you.
The hardest one to see their affections towards you is Alhaitham. Nahida is sure many other people didn’t even realized that he too takes part in the race of winning your heart. Alhaitham is very subtle with his affections, many may even mistook them for just him being kind to you. But if they know him better they can notice how he would enjoy to have conversations with you, after work he would invite you from time to time for some coffee or tea whichever you prefer. To Nahida, and even your surprise he do offer to read some books for you, when he sees that Paimon is busy and you are curious of the new book you found in your adventures with Aether.
The little Dendro Archon can’t help but be curious how this will go. Will one of them manage to win your heart? Or maybe someone else from another Nation will charm you?
But there is something that has been bothering Nahida for a while now, whenever you spend time with the boys and they leave for moment or don’t look at you, she can see your eyes fill with sadness. The Dendro Archon started to wonder
“Maybe you’re not that oblivious like everyone thinks?”
#Genshin Impact x Reader#Traveler's little helper#Genshin x Reader#Genshin Impact x You#Wanderer x Reader#Scaramouche x Reader#Kaveh x Reader#Cyno x Reader#Tighnari x Reader#Alhaitham x Reader#My stuff#Platonic Nahida
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ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛ ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ; ᴀᴏ‘ɴᴜɴɢ xᴏᴍᴀᴛɪᴋᴀʏᴀ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
Summary: You and Ao‘nung are on your way to collect special fruits for an Assembly of the Mitkayina Clan, but things are getting weird and… hot?
Warnings; Fluff, Kissing, sexual …talk? Enemies to Lovers, mentions of death (hate that) lol thats it enjoy
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"Aonung wait." I hissed, kicking some leaves out of the way. Below me the wet grass between my toes. We must have been walking for almost an hour now and the bag in which I was collecting the fruit for the Metkayina assembly almost overflowed. "What's the matter? Can't you keep up?" Ao'nung taunts and swings over a tree trunk closely followed by me, who somehow struggles over it.
I was sure we'd had enough and all this fuss was just to annoy me. After all, I was allowed to carry the heavy bag, although he always talked about how strong he was. Idiot. With ease he pushed some branches to the side which then almost killed me. I was angry and I wanted to push him off a cliff. After I had overcome the last dangers that Ao'nung had exposed me to, we entered a sandy beach. Almost a bay I would say. The waves hit the rocks and far behind I recognized the spot where our ilus were waiting for us.
"You're kidding me, aren't you? We could have just come here straight away, then we would have saved ourselves the difficult journey." I snapped spitefully. Me and Ao'nung have always had our...differences. In the beginning he was really likeable to me, until he became an absolute ass. After Neteyam's death he dropped this whole macho scam and I was free from him insulting me everyday but I'm still being screwed 24/7 until I can't anymore. Fine, from time to time I'll take revenge and sometimes it's even funny. Still, I can hardly judge Ao'nung at all.
"Don't get so upset, the way is the goal." he laughs and sets off into the bushes to pick whatever I'm allowed to carry anyway in the end. Rolling my eyes, I put the bag down and stretch. A moment later, Ao'nung comes back out of the bushes. He walks over to me at the end of the beach and holds out a pink prickly fruit. I look at them both skeptically and raise an eyebrow.
"Thanks, but I'm poisoning myself." I decline with a grin. But Ao'nung doesn't let go of me, pulls out his knife, cuts off a piece and puts it in his mouth. "Something of poisoned." he whispers, dramatically holding his stomach. I suppress my laughter and just roll my eyes. Again he cuts off a piece and puts it in front of my mouth. "here." I try to reach for it but he pulls his hand away.
"I thought you wanted me to try?" I ask. "Yes-but not that you hurt yourself." Only now do I recognize the barbs on the shell. However, he doesn't seem to mind. "bite off."
Somehow I don't really feel comfortable with it, but I bit it off and felt his cold fingers. Juice dripped from my chin, which Ao'nung brushed away with a gentle movement, and then licks his finger. I freeze, barely able to breathe. I was beyond confused, and somehow, …suprised."
" swallow." he breathes softly and raises his eyebrows. My head is a red room full of panic signs that glow brighter than neon lights. "wa-what" I bring out with my mouth full. "I said swallow." I get goosebumps. At no point did I think that Ao'nung's words could provoke a reaction of this kind, but I press my legs together and swallow the sweet fruit. Ao'nung eyes wander up and down my body, knowing what that just was. Funny, I would also like to know that. I swallow again.
"Do not look at me like that." I command him. "How am I looking at you?" smiling, he takes a step towards me, his eyes look deep into mine. "N- well the way you're looking at me. Stop that." "I can not." he blurts out.
Fuck. I think to myself, undecided whether I should just kiss him or run away. Then being confused because of my own thoughts. Ao'nung was all flirtation... just not usually with me. "You know, then just turn around or-" I keep getting quiet until my air to breathe is replaced by Ao'nung's lips. While I still hold my hands in the air in surprise, Ao'nung throws away the knife in his hand and grabs my waist. I reflexively wrap my hands around his neck.
The moment he lays me down on the sand, I forget all my principles and pull him down to me. I feel the cold sand beneath me, Ao'nung hands in my hair. I pull away from him, breathing heavily.
He just grins, with those cute dimples and his perfect eyes. "okay that was… quick." I gasp, trying to cover my nervousness with a laugh that only makes it more obvious. "fast?" he asks, looking at the air thinking. "Well, this is the first time you've let me get closer than a foot without hitting me, you're actually pretty slow today." embarrassed, I put my hand in front of my face. His confident flirting makes me more than nervous. "Don't talk such nonsense, there were at least a two." He licks his lips and presses another kiss on my lips. "You could hit me right now and I'd still want you, not gonna lie."I clench my teeth tightly and still roll my eyes in shock at what just happened.
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Send in what you want me to write:)
#avatar smut#avatar kiri#avatar neteyam#avatar the way of water#avatar#avatar jake#avatar ao‘nung#Jake sully#neytiri#aonung x reader#aonung#tuktirey#way of water#Lol idk im just trying to safe you needy people from getting no Avatar smut
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I read that "he holds the credit card above Engels head and tells her to only buy the necessities"... but what if she doesn't???
What if Engel just goes on a huge shopping spree and only uses his card. She's like, "You said you wanted to be the beard winner of the household anyway😇". And like she calls him her "sugar daddy" as a joke sometimes.
Ok this is from ages ago and got buried in my drafts, sorry!
König does not want to be called daddy :(( Or does he...?
CW: Smut 18+ only, daddy kink (?), flustered König
The shopping spree wouldn't make him angry. He wouldn't even be surprised: after all, that's what women do sooner or later if you give them your credit card. But rules are rules, and he has to take the card away for a bit now. He'll give it back when has to leave you again, don't worry, but it's on ice for now. He ends up scolding you softly, in the middle of the piles of all the new stuff you just showed him.
"I'll let it go this once, Engel. These are nice things you bought. But remember what I said: too much sugar is bad for you."
You look up at him like the most innocent being on this earth, clasp your hands together, and blink.
"But I thought you're my sugar daddy...?"
"Was... Was–What did you call me?" König almost chokes on his words.
"It's... It's just a joke," you try, not expecting a reaction like this at all. König simply scoffs and marches out of the room, credit card safely tucked away in one of his pockets. You can only look at his departing form, baffled and confused: König has never left you like this, like you just one-upped him.
He's on edge the rest of the evening and the better part of the night, too, tense and frustrated after his latest work patch and especially after you called him your sugar daddy. But that doesn't mean König doesn't seek comfort from you come nightfall.
And he always says you're lovely and cute when he makes love to you, even now when he's sweaty and slightly bothered, turning you around from position to position as if he's been away for too long and wants to feel all of you in one go.
"Am I your good girl...?" You whimper while looking up, doting and adoring while König is working you both into a frustrated release.
But the thing you can never get past is that he says you're cute.
He says it while his balls slap against you, while they get slick and slippery with your wet, he says you're cute when your cheeks pang with heat and your lips part, swollen and breathless, he says you're cute when he sees how your eyes can't even focus anymore because he's giving it to you so good.
"Of course you are," he coos back, "you're my good girl. My silly, sweet angel... Always so sweet for me."
He says you're good and sweet and cute, you're warm and make him so happy, how you're such an angel. And he holds your hand while he does it, kissing you while he destroys you with his cock, while you're breathless and brainless and about to cry and then, well... It just slips.
"Please, I'm gonna cum," you moan in his mouth, needy and about to break. "Please, please, please, daddy…"
He fucks up the rhythm of his thrusts, stopping only a few inches away from orgasm.
"Don't...call me that…!" He stutters through clenched teeth, all his tender cooings forgotten. Then he picks up the pace and loves you until you squirm on the bed, until you arch your back as you cum, helpless and wet and mewling around his cock. It's one of those orgasms that make you forget your name and his name too, your long moans and cries surely reaching even the neighboring houses where people are trying to sleep.
"You little–" he rumbles in your neck, still catching his breath. "What has gotten into you...?"
You don't know if König is pleased or furious when cums only seconds after you, balls pressed flush against you and weeks worth of longing shot inside you with a series of desperate grunts. He goes slack after that and collapses on top of you, sweaty and spent and powerful heart slamming against your ribs.
Poor man's world has gone off its axis twice this day, and you giggle a little, hugging him while he's there, still deep inside of you. You really shouldn't push it with your jokes, but you just can't help it. König is so easy to tease.
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youtube
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~Blowing off steam~
Summary: You and Daryl have been dating for a while now. You guys are on the road looking for supplies and you guys got into a fight before the trip. You both get into an argument again but this time it doesn't go as planned.
Word Count: 1.7k
Genre: Angst- Pure Smut
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Breeding kink, P in V sex, Unprotected Sex, Daryl and reader fighting, established relationship, reader is a little insecure, Angry Sex, Dom/Sub dynamics, predator/prey dynamic, degrading, orgasm denial, oral (F), fingering, squirting, creampie
A/N: This was a request by @murdadixon girl I'm sorry this took so long! Love you💋!
You are dating the hottest man you personally have ever seen. Daryl Dixon. He is such a softie.
To most people he is big and mean and intimidating but what they don't know is when he is with you, oh god he is such a big softie. A big cute teddy bear!
You guys hardly ever get into any arguments and if you do it's over tiny, stupid petty stuff. So you never thought that your big, lovable teddy bear would be this angry at you today. Let alone get into a fight on this fine morning.
"Ya never listen! Yer hard headed! All ya ever talk about is yer self!" Daryl yells at you.
"Well you are always closed off! What do you want me to do, huh!? Talk about your goddamn favourite color? Oh wait, you never told me!" You say venomously with a frown on your face.
"Daryl you realize you never tell me anything? You never fucking talk to me! So I talk about myself instead! Your always silent so I assume you wanna hear me speak! You never tell me to shut up!" You yell getting angrier by the second.
You will admit it, you and Daryl are not the same. Complete opposites actually. He was closed off, introverted. He always strayed away from the group to be alone.
Whilst you chose to be open, extroverted. You loved pleasing people. And sometimes you thought if Daryl hated that about you.
Sometimes boys mistook your kindness for flirting and Daryl would always yell at you about it so maybe that's what this arguments about.
"Yer so dumb! Maybe you should start learnin to shut the hell up!" He yells walking away leaving you standing there.
You instantly break down into tears and cry in your room. You run to the one person you bond with the most and has a husband. Maggie.
"M-maggie" You say your voice breaking as you continue to cry.
"Oh my god. What is it hun? Who hurt ya? What happened?" Maggie asks worried.
"It's d-daryl we got in a fight and Idk what to do. he said that i never listen to him or in general. He also said that I should just learn to shut up. Am I too much for you guys? Am I not good enough for him?" You ssk heartbroken.
"God no! You are the best friend I could ever have! You are nothing but joy in this dark world! You are a reminder of beth. I see her in you everyday." Maggie says smiling.
" Daryl is just being a dick! Leave him be but he's going on a run right now if you wanna make up with him?" Maggie says.
"Ok thanks Maggie again! I can always count on you to make me feel better!" You say waving as you walk away.
You see Daryl on his bike and hop on right behind him.
He grunts and asks what your doing. You don't respond to him and just look at your fingers and wait for him to drive off. He scoffs and eventually starts the bike and rides off.
You hold on to him and put your chin on his shoulder. "I'm sorry." You say.
"Fer what?" He asks. "Being a people pleaser and being so loud and talkative. I won't talk anymore if that's what you want." You say sadly.
"Ya think that's what I want?" Daryl asks
"Well no shit! You literally yelled at me about being to talkative and how I need to shut the hell up, or does none of that ring a bell? You hurt my feelings Dar" You say sadly.
"Well I mean, maybe you should just listen and maybe I wouldn't have yelled at ya."
"Are you fucking serious?! Stop the bike." You say about ready to walk back to Alexandria.
"I SAID STOP THE BIKE!" You yell a lot louder.
He stops the bike and you get off, pacing back and forth to try and control your anger. Boy Dixon really knew how to push your buttons.
"Are you serious Dar? I'm apologizing and you have the audacity to sit here and do this shit again!?"
He just stands there staring at your hips and the way they sway when you walk.
"Daryl Are you even listening?! But then you wanna yell at me about not listening. Huh very original Daryl."
Daryl still doesn't say anything and just walks closer to you.
"Boy! You really know how to get on my ner-" You start
"Shut up." Daryl says in a low voice getting closer to you.
"Dar what the hell your scaring me a bit." You say backing up from him.
He looks at you with hunger and lust and anger. A mix you have never seen before. You kinda like it but your also scared. He's like an animal hunting down his prey.
He grabs you and pushes his lips against yours. You try to push him away as your angry your conversation isn't over. You give in as he pins you to a tree.
He rips your flannel of and then rips your shirt off. He tears the shirt off your body and now your favourite white tee is ruined, Oh well. You take off his vest and start unbuttoning his long sleeved shirt.
You slide it off his strong shoulders and run your warm hands down his back, clawing at his back leaving scratches. He picks you up from your thigh and slips your panties off.
Pretty black lace panties. He stares at the in his hand before putting them in his jeans pocket. He rips his pants and boxers off revealing his raging, hard cock aching to be inside you.
"Yer ready for me sunshine?" He asks, poking the tip at your entrance. You nod eagerly whimpering for him to slide inside you. "Yes please Dar. I want you so bad." You whine.
"Nuh uh darlin, Yer not getting anything right now. I'm gon have to tease ya a bit for your little attitude." He says smiling trying to catch you off guard.
"Uh why Dar you were the one who called me du-" You try to finish before he slams his cock inside your tight, velvety walls. You scream out in pleasure as he rams into you at a hard and fast pace, his rhythm never faltering.
You cover your mouth to make sure no nearby walkers could hear you. "Nuh uh pretty girl, I wanna hear those sounds coming from that bratty little mouth as I fuck the shit outta ya.' He grunts.
You remove your hand as tears start to fall from your face. "Please go slower Dar." You whine out.
"Sorry, can't do tha'. Gonna fuck that attitude right outta ya." He moans out. You both are panting extremely hard. His thrusts push your back against. the bark of the tree. You dig your nails into his back moaning louder.
Daryl grunts and starts letting out breathy moans and whines. "Wanna breed ya so bad." Daryl grunts out. "Want ya to be mine. Have my children." He says, his mind getting foggy by he thoughts of you having his child.
You whine out, turned on even more by daryl's dirty words. "This what we was arguin for? So I could fuck ya like the lil slut you are?" He states.
You whine, "Oh f-fuck Dar. Oh shit, fuck I'm gonna cum Daryl"
"Nuh uh, sunshine yer on punishment. Hold it." Daryl grunts out stopping his movements. You cry out as the feeling. of your orgasm is slowly fading away.
"Ya understand? If ya cum without my permission, I'm not gon be so nice after." daryl warns clenching his jaw.
You nod your head and his movements are fast and fluid like the last time. His thrusts are more erratic as he feels his orgasm approaching. You continue to cry as your trying you best to hold your orgasm.
"Daryl can I please cum now?" You whine out seeking his approval. "Yea sunshine, go ahead." he says breathlessly. "Squirt for me baby." He says dark and seductively.
"Oh fuck. fuck, Im cumming Daryl!" You scream out with not a care in the world about who or what hears.
Daryl pulls out and sucks on your clit brining you to your orgasm faster. You start shaking involuntarily and squirt all over daryls face and in his mouth. He laps up your juices with his tongue and groans into your body.
He fingers you through your orgasm as you pull his face closer to your legs. He brings you down to the grassy floor and pulls out his fingers and removes his face shoving his aching cock back inside you.
His thrusts are never ending it feels like. He groans and moans, his little noises so sweet and adorable. God you love hearing him whimper. It truly is the hottest thing in the world. "Fuck baby, I'm gon cum right inside his tight pussy. Give you a baby right 'ere." He moans out, pushing down on your stomach.
You moan out feeling his cock slide in and out of you. He whimpers one more time before drawing out a long, drawled, "Fuuucckkkk!" Daryl drawls out you kiss his neck as he releases inside you.
His warm, sticky, white cum squirts ropes inside you. You feel the warm fluid release inside you. His thrusts are slow and loving this time as he tries to ride out his high.
He pulls out of you and starts to grab you guys clothes. Once you both are dressed you walk back to his bike. Before Daryl could mount his bike, your lightly grabbing his arm.
He turned to look at you.
"Dar, can you look at me? You're doing it again. Look, I'm sor-" He interrupts you.
"No, I'm sorry. I know yer sensitive and I shouldn't have said those things to ya. I'm sorry I didn't care bout' yer feelings. I was just so angry. So I'm sorry sunshine." He says looking down.
You hug him and kiss his neck. He wraps his hands around your waist and hugs you tightly.
The drive back to Alexandria was eventful. Daryl actually opened up and talked about himself.
When you arrived Maggie was standing there by the gate. you hopped off the bike and were on your way to go see Rosita. Maggie threw a thumbs up from afar and you smiled and did one back too.
She smiled and winked at you. You all went your separate ways and lived happily in Alexandria.
Taglist: @darylscvmdumpster @murdadixon @carlgrimesenthusiast @carlsdarling @sinsandsweetness @tied-in-a-knot @loveforcarl
#Twd Daryl#daryl dixon#the walking dead#Daryl smut#Daryl angst#Daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl x reader#twd fanfiction#twd
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am i the asshole for yelling at my friend when i found out he had sex in my car?
i (26f) lived with my friend John (26m) when we were in college. John didnt have a car, but i did so i did most of the driving when we needed groceries/whatever we needed to go out for (it was a college town so it was mostly walkable, so we didnt need to drive every day). i have issues with other people using my car, especially when im not there (if anything goes wrong id rather it be my fault than have to deal with someone else totaling my car). but John had a girlfriend (Sarah) who also didnt have a car, so he would sometimes borrow my car (with my permission ofc, he never took it without me knowing) to take her on dates. when they were gone, i would constantly be nervous that something went wrong. there would be times they would go to a movie, then they would be gone for longer than the movie's runtime and i would get so anxious that something happened, then find out that they had just gone shopping/to dinner/etc after the movie ended. i never bothered saying anything because i didnt want to seem like a control freak saying "you can only borrow my car if you tell me exactly what you're doing and when you'll be back"
anyways, fast forward to now. i got a new car a couple years ago, John and i no longer live together (not because of any problems, we just got our own places after we graduated), and he is still with Sarah. one day John, Sarah, a few of our other friends, and i were all hanging out.
then at one point, Sarah made a joke about having sex in the car after Yesterday (the beatles movie from a few years ago). then i said "hold on, didnt you guys borrow my car to see that movie?" and everyone got really quiet. i turned to John and said "you had sex in my car???" and he tried to laugh it off but didnt deny it. and i got MAD. i was yelling at him and admittedly was pretty harsh (like calling him insensitive for violating my trust & property)
he said something along the lines of "i'm sorry, but it was a long time ago and theres nothing i can do to change it, and you dont even have the car anymore" and i realized he was right, and that screaming at him wasnt going to accomplish anything, but i was still mad so i left and went home
i asked some of my friends that were there if i was being crazy, and they basically said that it was understandable that i was mad, but yelling at him in front of everyone just made them uncomfortable and killed the vibe for the rest of the night, and there was nothing any of us could do about it now. no one told me how Sarah reacted, but she has really bad anxiety so knowing her, im guessing she didnt take it well that i got mad about something she said, and i do feel bad about that (though, in fairness, i assume she knows common decency and would know that having sex in someone else's car is wrong)
anyways, i dont think im the asshole because i think i have a right to be upset about that, and even though it was a long time ago i JUST found out about it so it wasnt that long ago for me. but i know i might be the asshole just because i yelled at John in front of our friends and made everyone uncomfortable over something that he can't do anything about anymore, and since i dont even have that car anymore, it has no impact on my life
tldr: my friend had sex in my car years ago and i found out about it and tried to fight with him about it in front of a bunch of our other friends, and it made everyone uncomfortable. so, am i the asshole for getting angry years after my friend had sex in my car? 🚗
What are these acronyms?
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Painful paddle
I'm not very sensitive when it comes to pain during impact play, but I am a masochist and love pain. My dom also loves hurting me, so we picked out a new paddle (pictured below). The cutouts have very sharp edges and light hits warm up the skin really fast.
First, my dom warmed me up with a flogger while I was bent over her desk. Then, she started with light taps with the new paddle, eventually telling me to get on all fours on the sofa. She cuffed my legs to a spreader bar and told me I'll be getting my previously earned reward of 92 (hard) spanks. Working her way up with the intensity, she waits for the moment I scream into the sofa before telling me to start counting. She tries different spots on my body, seeing which place makes me scream the most. About twenty hits in, after my skin is already red and swollen, she takes the split leather paddle. I've gotten used to it and it didn't hurt me as much anymore. However, with my skin already raw from the new paddle, it made everything more intense and painful. She didn't start out with a light slap either. She immediately went in with full force, making me scream into the sofa even louder, instinctively moving away from her. She throws a blanket over my head so I won't see the slaps coming and to muffle my screams so her neighbors won't hear. Sometimes, she wouldn't use as much force and those slaps didn't count.
30-40 slaps in, she takes the spreader bar and flips me around so I'm on my back. She tells me to remove the blanket so she can look at me. Pushing the bar back, she hits my inner thighs and right below my ass with the new wood paddle. It hurts really bad. For the first time since we started playing together, she sees actual fear in my eyes. I flinch when she raises the paddle to hit me again and she smirks, not hitting me when I expect it but then going even harder. Even though I'm scared and it hurts like never before, I get incredibly horny. The pain turns me on and I like the fear. I especially like how much she's enjoying it. I haven't seen her get this happy when hitting me in a while.
I'm struggling, but she keeps me from moving by holding onto the spreader bar. With the split leather paddle, she also hits my boobs. She hasn't done that before and it stings. After a couple of slaps, I cover my chest with my arms, trying to soothe the pain but also to prevent further slaps in that area. "Move your arms away this instant, or I'll tie them up for you.". I refuse and she hits my arm with the leather paddle. It hurts less than her hitting my chest, so I keep covering myself. Then she counts down from three. It's been an intense weekend and while I love getting her angry and her being rough with me, I don't want to overdo it. I'm thankful she's even trying the new paddle and not waiting. For the first time, I'm also scared what the punishment for not listening could be. So, at "one", I remove my arms, and of course, she immediately slaps my boobs again.
Eventually, she flips me around again and just has fun using all her tools on me. The wood paddle made me sensitive, so the riding crop hurts more than usual as well. A couple hits with a thin wood cane make it break. We both laugh and she continues using her other toys. At 72 she hits me so hard and fast, I can't count anymore and just struggle. I scream and try to get away but she keeps me in place with the spreader bar. After she stops, she checks on me and I smile. "That was good. I like it.". She takes that as an invitation to hit me more, with the same intensity. I never finished counting the 92 slaps.
Some (not so great) photos she took right after to show me the result. I've never bled like this from impact play before and she had to listen to my whining the rest of the night whenever I moved and changed my position. She did put lotion on me and got me ice packs though.
The next day, most of the swelling is gone, but bruises formed and the imprints from the paddle are still very much visible (pictures below). Sitting hurts, but not unbearably. I love being reminded of our sessions throughout the day like this and I keep looking at the interesting new bruises.
#she wants to find more things that scare me#can't wait#sub original#lesbian nsft#dyke nsft#wlw bd/sm#sapphic nsft#lesbian bd/sm#lesbian d/s#wlw d/s#sapphic bd/sm#wlw nsft#sapphic d/s#impact play.#paddle.
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A Way Home
Fandom: Spiderverse
Summary: Following the loss of his alternate universe daughter, Miguel is reluctant to risk letting anyone close to him and breaking canon again. However, as most anomalies are returned to their universes, there's the issue of you. You don't have a universe to return to. So, after having you on his team for half a year, he adopts you as his child.
Word Count: 4654
Pairing?: Father-child relationship btwn Miguel and gn! reader.
Trigger Warnings: Some cursing, reader is hinted to having a traumatic past (very briefly and vaguely described), 1 reference to reader as "Spiderman" (meant as a gender-neutral phrase)
A/n: This turned out to be longer than I had planned b/c I realized how much I had to add to make the change of heart even slightly natural, so let me know if y'all want a part two of the reader and Miguel interacting further along the adoption. Not sure how I feel about the structure + characterization in this one. Feedback much appreciated! Please!! I'm on my hands and knees, begging for feedback!!!
------
"Lyla, status on current anomalies," Miguel ordered. He leaned over the yellow panels in front of him, watching the same scene of him and his child playing over and over again. His grip on the console tightened.
She blipped into view. "Currently, there are 918,503,201 anomalies to be returned to their home universes. That's 40% less than yesterday! Spider-Byte does have an update for you regarding-"
"I'll convene with her later. I'm busy."
"Busy brooding over your twelfth cup of coffee. Not enough sugar this time around?" Lyla teased, only to be met with a glare. "Alright, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. But seriously, it can't wait. A canon event was disrupted and now there's a spider-person without a universe to return to."
Miguel turned around dangerously fast. "What did you just say?"
"Talk to Margo -- she'll fill you in." Lyla blipped away.
------
"There you are," Margo mumbled to herself as Miguel approached. "This one's in rough shape, got dropped in Earth 616 and put up a fierce fight before Jessica took them to HQ. I tried to send them through the Go Home Machine, but it just dropped them back here."
"And you're sure it's not a hardware issue?"
"It's 2099," Margo drolled and rolled her eyes. "There's no hardware issues anymore, grandpa."
"Then try sending them home again. I don't see why this requires my supervision."
"This machine tears people's atoms apart and throws them back together in other dimensions," she explained. "If I run the same person through the machine too many times, they could die."
Miguel sighed heavily and began pacing around. "Well, what am I supposed to do? Keep them here forever?"
Margo looked at him like he was crazy and slowly nodded. "You can't leave them here to die."
"They're an anomaly anywhere they go, Spider-Byte. Maybe death would be a mercy."
"To you," Peter B. called from behind him.
"Maldito sea, carajo" Miguel cursed under his breath, turning around. "I thought you were taking the week off."
"Well, I was going to, but Mayday was begging me for another one of these cafeteria burgers," he said with his mouth full of food. "They're really good, you should seriously try them sometime."
Miguel's eyes darted to Mayday and quickly darted away. "I have work to return to in my office, so if you'll excuse me-"
Peter stepped in his way. "I'm sorry, Miguel, but I can't let you walk away from this problem. It's gone too far."
"I'm sorry, what?" Miguel questioned, laughing bitterly.
"Ok, I'm not great with words, especially not in front of big, strong, angry men, so MJ had me prewrite this, let me just get it- oh, Mayday has it. Mayday, hold the paper up for daddy, thanks, sweetheart."
Peter cleared his throat and began to over-annunciate his speech. "Everyone in this building joined your society because they believed in your ability to lead, shape, and change the world. We trusted you to use humane practices behind your actions and to keep the safety and rights of humanity at mind before all else. However, given the fact- Ok, this is bullshit - sorry, Mayday, don't tell mommy. Point is, Miguel, that you claim that you're all about saving the multiverse and saving humanity, but then you throw half of your sanity away to hunt down a 15 year old kid who just wants to save his dad. You're so obsessed with the concept of saving humanity that you forgot what it's like to care about individual humans. You forgot how to be a human."
"I never forgot what it felt like to care. To love."
"It's okay to admit that the new kid reminds you of your daughter, you know."
For a moment, Miguel and Peter B. just stood across from each other in silence, unable to break eye contact. Miguel's expression was intense, but otherwise unreadable. Then: "Go home, Parker. More and more of you prove that you're untrustworthy when it comes to prioritizing the greater good. I'm not afraid to get rid of you, too."
Peter's arms gripped on tighter to Mayday. He seemed to want to say something, but found it in him to walk away. Once he went through his portal back home, Miguel called for Lyla.
"Hold the chatter, Lyla," he said before she could open her mouth, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Silence any notifications except for the urgent ones. And I mean urgent."
"Well, since you asked so nicely," she remarked sarcastically, but complied.
------
Everything in Miguel's office repeated like a broken record. The video of his daughter. Peter's comment that he "forgot what it's like to care about humans, forgot how to be human." Gwen's "we're supposed to be the good guys." The feeling of his own child glitching out of existence in his palms, the very reason he got into this work. The ticking of the clock. The ticking of that motherfucking clock.
He zipped a web to the clock and smashed it into the ground, falling to a knee amidst the broken glass.
"I understand that you're having a very emo moment right now, Mr. O'Hara," Pavitr began, "But Jessica told me to drop this off." He placed the file on the floor and nudged it over with his foot as far as he could without getting too close. "I'm heading home now, have a great day!"
"Wait."
"Oh, I was afraid you would say that."
"Tell Jessica to report to my office."
"She said to tell you that she's not available until noon tomorrow."
"Of course," he chuckled angrily. "One person's off for the week, another needs 3 weeks of recovery. Now one of my only trustworthy members can't report for duty until tomorrow. But who's checking in on me, huh? That's right - no one. I took on this leadership role because I know firsthand what it feels like to have the only joy in your life, your only reason for living, taken away from you because of your own reckless mistakes. And despite all of that, I made it my life's mission to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else. But now I'm the villain?! "'We're supposed to be the good guys!'" "'You can't leave them to die!'" "'They remind you of your daughter.'" But does anyone else here know the pain of losing a child you weren't even destined to have?"
Pavitr blinked heavily. "With all due respect, sir, I'm 17."
Miguel barely seemed to hear him. He sank to the floor, running his hands through his hair and not bothering to clear the glass shards around him. "Maybe they're all right. Maybe I'm the one hurting everyone else. Maybe I'll make the same mistake I did before, and take another innocent life because I want to feel fulfilled, just for a moment."
"Should I get someone?"
Miguel sighed. "Just go."
------
“Morning, sunshine,” Jessica called, taking a seat in Miguel’s office. “You had a chance to go through the file?”
Miguel hummed in agreement. “Need a second opinion.”
Jessica flipped through her copy of your file. “Teenager, been Spiderman for 2 years, originally from Earth 45, but got dropped in Ben’s world. A slippery one for sure; took nearly two hours to get them on the ground. Tried talking to them, but they wouldn't speak. I know my stance on this, but what’s yours?”
Miguel paced around the room. “We can’t keep them here. They’re an anomaly regardless of where they go. Margo said that it would be too inhumane to send them through the Go Home Machine again, so… I think we should let them go quietly.”
“Are you serious?”
“When am I not serious?” He took a seat across from Jessica. “I’ve been hearing it from everyone else. I need to hear it from someone who was there from the beginning. Someone who I trust. Am I falling off the edge? Have I gone too far?”
She raised her eyebrows. “You’re just now questioning that? Look, as your friend, I’ll say this: you’re taking too much weight onto your shoulders. You need to stop being Spiderman for a moment and start being Miguel.” She shifted in her seat. “But, as your teammate, I want you to know that I’ll be by your side no matter what you choose.”
Miguel nodded, but he was totally spaced out. All he could think about was his daughter. How he wanted to take this one in so bad, just to feel like a father again, feel like a man again. How he feared the consequences of love.
Jessica snapped in front of his face. “Earth to Miguel.”
He shook his head. “What?”
“Look, I can’t say that I don’t agree with your initial idea. But I look at them, and at Gwen, and at my future kid, and-” She put her hand on her stomach “-I just can’t imagine leaving them in the dust like that. I was wrong about Gwen, yes, but these kids are suffering. And I don’t know if we can keep making these hard decisions that put these people right back where they were trying to escape from and still call ourselves heroes.”
Miguel held his face in his hands. “I don’t know what’s up and down anymore, right or wrong. I was all of these kids once: Miles, Gwen, Hobie. I know what it’s like to love your family so much that you throw everything else to the wayside. But that cost me my child, and thousands of other lives. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do anything to stop it. I just want to stop the suffering. I just want it to stop.”
Jessica gave him a moment. “Let’s meet the kid. Give them a trial before we make any decisions we can’t take back.”
“Alright,” he agreed, “But if you’re wrong about this-”
“Then lunch is on me. Come on, mafioso.”
------
“Here they are,” Margo announced. “Just so you know, they’re fully aware of their situation, but not very talkative.”
“Let me talk to them,” Miguel insisted. “I want to hear what they have to say.”
As Miguel and Jessica approached, you refused to meet their eyes. Instead, you drew your hood closer to your face.
Miguel took a knee by you, talking through the red barrier. “Hey, kid. My name is Miguel. Miguel O’Hara. I’m Spiderman.”
You gasped dramatically. “No way! Really? I never would have guessed!”
He took in a breath. “So you do speak. Look, we’re trying to relocate you, but we need to have your account of what happened. Why doesn’t your home exist anymore?”
You shrugged and counted off the events on your fingers. “Dalmatian-looking dude crashed through a window at my internship. He went straight for the collider room, and most of my mentors were at lunch, so I went after him. I tried to shut off the collider at the same time he stepped through it, he pushed me into a hole, that lady behind you caught me after an uncomfortably long chase, and here we are.”
“You worked at Alchemax,” Miguel mumbled, though mostly to himself.
“Yeah,” you replied, leaning back. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Did you get bitten by the radioactive spider before or after working there?”
“Did I fucking what?”
“That’s how you got your powers, right?” He asked.
“My powers? Oh, I see what’s happening here,” you laughed. “You’re all off your rockers! Let me guess, this is some alternate dimension Alchemax where everyone’s trying to biologically get the abilities that I developed through technology. Ooh ooh, or, this is an elite spider society trying to save the multiverse from itself!”
“That was really just a guess?” questioned Jessica.
“I read a lot of sci-fi,” you explained.
“Nevermind all of that,” Miguel groaned. “What’s your story, kid? What’s your motive? Because if we don’t have that information, we can’t help get you out of there.”
Your expression became grave for a moment as you considered your options and chuckled bitterly. “My story? My story is that I’m a poor kid from the slums who worked their ass off to get into a good school so that I could do better for my family. My story is that my family never loved me, my friends never cared, and I was forced to choose between what I love to do and what the world needed from me. I didn’t have the power to stop my parents from hurting me or stop people from hurting each other. So, I manufactured that power and took it into my own hands. My story is that the moment I was released from that hellhole of a world, I was locked up in a three foot wide cage and forced to talk about my feelings. I heard what you guys were talking about in that back room. All I ask is that you do it quickly. I don’t like waiting.”
“Miguel, we can take a quick debrief if you need one,” Jessica offered, putting a hand on his shoulder.
Miguel didn’t budge. He looked into your eyes and felt your pain like it was his own. He opened his mouth, then closed it again. Finally: “Let them go, Margo.”
“What?”
“You heard me,” he asserted. “Let them go.”
Margo released you and offered her hand to help you step down from the pedestal, which you reluctantly accepted. “Didn’t know you were one for sob stories, Mr. O’Hara,” you mocked, though your comment fell through as soon as your legs trembled from lack of use.
“I’m not,” he responded, walking up to you. “But I know an innovator when I see one. You’re hurt, yes, but you have the capacity to do so much good. I’m offering you a place on my team.”
You approached cautiously, your arms crossed. “And if I say no?”
“I’d ask you to reconsider.” He held out his hand for a shake. You accepted, and he smiled. “Welcome to HQ.”
Margo whooped in the background and gave your shoulder a squeeze.
------
“Ok, first mission briefing,” Miguel started, walking backwards.
“On the move?” you asked.
“That’s the only way to do it.” He shot a web to a nearby building and dropped from an HQ terrace.
You followed suit. “Where exactly are we going?” you shouted over the wind.
“Earth 616. There’s a rogue Vulture stealing tech from Osborn. We’d let it happen, but the man's the only thing between a country of people and an all-out war.”
“Got it.”
“We go in, capture Vulture, and bring him back to HQ. Shouldn’t be too difficult.”
You stepped through your portal and immediately got whiplash from the pure speed of a nearby aircraft.
Vulture swooped down from above and tore the tail off of the police helicopter. It crashed into a skyscraper and gained speed as it headed for the street below.
Miguel spoke to you through the comms. “Trial number one, newbie. I’ll pursue Vulture; you stop that helicopter from hurting civilians.”
“On it.” You dived off of your skyscraper to gain speed and pulled yourself forward with your webs. In one smooth movement, you grabbed the two co-pilots and placed them on the closest rooftop.
The helicopter was quickly approaching the ground, where children were playing in an enclosed playground.
“Shit,” you murmured, propelling yourself under the machine to create a landing pad for it at a safe distance from the kids. At the rate you could fire, you wouldn’t be able to stop it on time.
In the distance, you saw Miguel struggling to keep Vulture away from a construction site, and reached out to him over the comms. “Have him ram into that crane.”
“What?”
“Just trust me.”
Miguel redirected the Vulture, dodging last second when he attacked so that the crane would fall down.
The crane caught the chopper where it was, and you used it as a crutch to help you redirect the chaos to the empty street. You swung around the crane five times, wrapping an immense amount of webbage around it and attaching along the side of a business building. When the helicopter threatened to fall due to the weight of it, you shot three web bombs at it to keep it in place.
When you reached the ground, you were out of breath and half-heartedly waving to the clapping children and their parents. Miguel placed his hand on your shoulder as you observed the incapacitated Vulture.
“Not bad, kid,” Miguel chuckled. “Not bad.”
------
A good six months had passed, and you had risen in the ranks of the Spider Society. You were still without a place to stay, and had been bouncing from place to place in between missions. The first month, it was Pavitr and his aunt’s place. Then, Hobie’s, then HQ, and finally, Gwen’s. Most of your free time was spent discussing tech with Margo or trailing behind Miguel.
A building-wide alert had gone off, sending every spider-being into high alert as they searched for the threat.
“What’s the sitch?” you asked Miguel as the two of you bounded down the hall.
“A futuristic Rhino that’s suspected to work for The Spot just invaded HQ. He’s trying to destroy our tech and pick us off.”
Just as Miguel had finished his explanation, Rhino crashed through a door four floors below. You both zipped towards him, barely avoiding running into Peter B. as he took a picture of himself, Mayday, and Rhino. Miguel attacked Rhino head-on, performing a spin-kick to the face before webbing his arms together and latching onto his back. Rhino broke his constraints effortlessly, and threw Miguel out of a nearby window. You helped Noir get to his feet and went after Rhino.
By the time you got there, Rhino had Miguel pinned to the cracked concrete. His web shooters were broken, and he was using all of his remaining strength to stop Rhino from snapping his neck. When he saw you approaching, he tried to silently signal for you to go, but you didn’t listen.
“Hey, Alexei!” you shouted. “I never really took you for the dominant type! It doesn’t suit you.”
You swung a piece of concrete at his back and zipped to deliver a punch to the face. Rhino was quick to return the favor, and charged you through a nearby wall.
Miguel attempted to stand up as backup arrived. He climbed onto Rhino’s back and sunk his teeth into his neck, effectively, though temporarily, paralyzing him. A team of 15 spiderbeings worked to get Rhino back to HQ while you and Jessica helped Miguel to his feet.
“What the hell were you thinking, kid? You could have died,” Miguel snapped.
“You were the one near death,” you argued. “If I didn’t come when I did, you could’ve died. Was I just supposed to let that happen?!”
“Yes!”
“No!” You dropped his arm from around your shoulder and Peter B. went to pick up the slack. “Why is it so hard for you to understand that people care about you? You gave me a chance when no one else would. I lost my world, my home, and my friends. I couldn’t lose you, too.”
“That’s not for you to decide. I can’t trust you like an adult if you refuse to act like one,” he grunted, before wavering in his stance. Jessica helped right him.
You took a step back and pressed your lips together. “You know, I joined this team because I wanted to save people. I have the ability to save them. And… if you can’t acknowledge that ability, then… maybe you need to reevaluate your interests.” With that, you took off.
Jessica and Peter sat Miguel down to rest.
“How bad did I fuck up?” Miguel inquired.
“Give them a few minutes to sit on it,” Peter suggested. “Kids are like that. They need time to cool off. Just make sure you talk to them later.”
------
You sat on the slanted glass roof of HQ to listen to music and blow off some steam. Heavy footprints sounded from behind you. You sighed. “If you’re here to argue, can you at least wait until the end of this song?”
“I’m not going to argue with you. I wanted to talk. And… apologize.”
That piqued your interest, but you tried to sound nonchalant as you gestured to the space next to you. “Go ahead, then. Sit.” You turned the music off.
He obliged. “I’m sorry for saying that I couldn’t trust you and that you needed to act like an adult. It wasn’t fair. I do trust you, and there’s no reason for you to act like an adult when you’re still a kid. I’ll be more conscious of my words in the future.”
You nodded. “Thanks.”
You sat in silence for a while, and you began to get up.
“Wait,” he asked. “Please.”
“What did you really come here to say?”
“Just sit, and I’ll tell you.” He waited for you to return to your spot and took a deep breath. “When I was first messing with the multiverse after working at Alchemax, I wasn’t as careful as I am now. I found a world where I was dead, but had a daughter, so I replaced myself and began raising her. I loved her more than anything. But, I was an anomaly, and had disrupted canon events. I felt her glitch right out of my hands. Thousands of innocent people died that day because of me. So, I made a vow to myself: never again. I wouldn’t let this happen to anyone else, and I wouldn’t let anyone get close to me.”
He paused, gulped, and forced himself to make eye contact with you. “Then I met you. And I tried to hate you, I really did. But you’re funny, and you’re smart and passionate, and you have a damn good heart. And everything in me just wants to protect you. I’m so mad at myself for hurting you and-”
You cut him off with a bear hug, to which he slowly responded once he understood what was happening. You shed a few tears into the crook of his neck and mumbled, “I’m sorry, too.”
He laughed, partially in disbelief. “For what?”
“I called you a dick behind your back for the first three months because I thought you had a stick up your ass.” You backed away snickering and wiped your eyes. “But you’re more my family than my parents ever were.”
Now or never, Miguel.
“About that,” he began. “I know you’ve been staying at Gwen’s place - and you’re completely free to stay there if you want - I just thought it might be nice for you to have a permanent place to stay, a school to go to, a familiar face, you know?”
“Not really,” you expressed. “What do you mean?”
“I- it’s better if I just show you.” Miguel took a folder out of his bag and handed it to you. He looked the other way as you processed what he gave you.
“Are these adoption papers?”
“Um… yeah,” he relented, still refusing to look your way.
“And this isn’t a joke?”
“Of course not. But, it’s also up to you. I don’t want to pressure you into anything you don’t want to do-”
“Yes,” you cut him off and wrapped him in an even tighter hug. “Absolutely yes.”
------
Miguel helped you carry your few boxes of belongings that you had left at Gwen’s into his modern duplex.
“Jesus, dude,” you commented. “You didn’t tell me you were rich.”
He laughed. “This is what being a scientist earns you.”
“Damn.” You took the space in. The windows in the living room were from floor to ceiling, the couch a cool grey with ornate yellow and green pillows. Everything was open concept, and both the Mexican and Irish flag hung on either side of the TV. Aside from the occasional painting, the apartment was largely monochromatic.
“The kitchen is under that loft area, which I usually use as office space, but you’re free to use it, too. Bathrooms on first and second floors,” he explained while walking up the stairs. He stopped in front of the third door to the right. “This is your room.”
You gently pushed open the door. Miguel had prepared for your arrival intensely. A twin bed sat in the back left corner of the room, a desk in the back right. There was a wide panel of windows with shades and a nightstand with knick knacks. A mirror, bookshelf, decorative rug, and bean bag filled the empty space. A poster with a Spiderman symbol hung over your desk, and a smile fought its way onto your face.
“There’s a closet, too,” Miguel said proudly.
You opened the closet to find it fully stocked with casual, formal, and tactical clothing. “You did all of this for me?”
He smiled warmly. “Welcome home.”
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It was the following year on Father’s Day, and you were waiting for Miguel to come home when you heard keys turning at the door.
“Hey,” you called from the kitchen island. “I made dinner for us. And we can watch that crappy comedy show that you like.”
He hung up his jacket and gave you a hug. “Thanks, sweetheart. How was it with your friends?”
“Pretty good. But it took an hour to get Miles out of that Famous Footwear. I swear that boy has enough sneakers to cover the Mediterranean. How was work?”
Miguel grabbed a plate and took a seat next to you. “Well, we finally figured out the malfunction in the control room. Hobie had been messing around with it for his own projects. Shocker, right? But other than that it was just a bunch of boring meetings.”
“Oh, I just remembered something.” You rushed upstairs to get a gift bag from your room and returned, out of breath. “I made this for you. It’s not much, but my job doesn’t start until July and I wanted to give you something, so…”
He removed the tissue paper to find a carefully knitted shawl with his suit designs on it. He remained speechless for a moment.
“What do you think?”
“I love it.”
“Really? Cuz I could get you something else if you’d prefer-”
“I love it,” he repeated, giving you a bear hug. “I’ll wear it all the time when the weather takes a turn.”
“I thought it might be useful for winter patrols,” you admitted.
“It will be. I know you don’t like getting too sappy, so let’s watch some TV, yeah?”
Halfway through an episode of the comedy show, you got up to use the bathroom. Miguel paused the show and admired your work on his shawl. When you came back, he was still staring at it as if he were examining each individual stitch.
“I’m back,” you said when he didn’t acknowledge you.
He hummed in response. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
You furrowed your brows, worried now. “Is something wrong?”
“No, not all, it’s just…” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I wanted to let you know that I would understand if you want to look into seeing if there’s any way to find your real parents. I love you and I want you here, don’t get me wrong, but if this is something you feel strongly about, I wanted to make sure you knew that my feelings wouldn’t be hurt.”
You stared at him for a while before bursting into laughter.
“What’s so funny?”
You grabbed his hands and looked him in his eyes. “I found my real dad the moment you brought me here. I’m home.”
He squeezed your hands and repeated your words as if convincing himself of the truth. “You’re home.”
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#rio's writing#miguel o'hara#miguel ohara#spiderman#across the spider verse#spiderman across the spiderverse#spiderman 2099#atsv miguel#atsv#miguel x reader#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel ohara x reader#miguel o'hara x gender neutral reader#miguel o'hara x gn!reader#margo kess#pavitr prabhakar#jessica drew#gwen stacy#miles morales#hobie brown#spiderpunk#spiderman india#spider gwen
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Tough Guy
matt sturniolo x reader
tw: angst kinda? but it gets better I swear
a/n: I have a love hate relationship with writing
I'm getting sick of Matt's tough guy attitude.
The constant ignoring, snarky remarks, and just overall his bad mood has really been getting to me lately. So, earlier today I decided I was going to talk to him.
"Matt?" I say, glancing over at him. He looks at me for a moment, the same irritated look on his face that he's been wearing for weeks.
"What?" His response is harsh.
"Can we talk about something?" I ask, putting my phone down.
"Like what?" He asks, scrolling through Instagram.
I sigh. "Like maybe how you've been ignoring me every time I talk to you?"
"I'm not ignoring you right now, am I?"
"Well, no-"
"Then what's the issue?" He sighs, rolling his eyes.
"Matt, you don't treat me like your girlfriend anymore!" I say, getting frustrated.
"Relax, it's not that big of a deal," Matt mumbles, getting up and tossing his phone on the bed.
I grab his arm. "No, you don't get to walk away from this. Why are you being so angry all of a sudden?"
Matt yanks his arm away from me, and i feel a little break in my heart. "I'm not angry, don't accuse me of things that aren't true!" He spits out, his jaw clenching.
"This is exactly what I'm talking about!" I say, exasperated. "I'm just asking, Matt. This whole thing you have going on, it's wearing on our relationship."
Matt spins around. "Don't say that," he says, anger in his eyes.
"Don't say what? The truth?" I say, raising my voice. "Matt, you barely kiss me anymore! What's going on?" I try to search his face, but his expression has fallen blank. "Do you want to be with me anymore?"
Matt sighs, and sits on the bed next to me. "Of course i still want to be with you," he murmurs, picking at the duvet.
"Then treat me like it," I say firmly. "I'm your girlfriend, Matt. We're supposed to be in this together. This relationship isn't meant to be one-sided." Matt says nothing, but nods, looking down at his lap. I sigh and scoot closer to him. I gently cup his cheek, guiding him to face me. "What's wrong, Matty?"
He leans forward and gently hugs me, pressing his face into my neck. "I'm sorry," he whispers. I gently run my fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry i treated you like you're not there."
"It's alright, Matt," I say softly, my eyes trained on the wall across from me. "We all go through rough spots sometimes. Just promise me that when this happens you'll talk to me instead of ignoring me."
Matt picks up his head and kisses me gently.
"Promise me, Matt," I whisper between kisses.
Matt pulls away just enough to meet my eyes, his lips brushing mine. "I promise," he murmurs before pressing his lips to mine once more.
a/n: I listened to careless whisper while writing this
this is not proofread so let me know if there are any mistakes!😍😍
love yall
#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#anon ask#fluff#ask#ask blog#send asks#answered asks#answered
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I can't forget, I can't forgive you…
An excuse to deep dive the trauma around Sirius being disowned and that wound being something that hasn’t closed due to poor coping mechanisms. Will gladly take an excuse to hash out how relationships were up until being disowned. Dynamics after the disownment and present are another I'll happily chat about. He’s essentially faking it until he makes it and hiding behind forced smiles/pleasantries with the majority of the community that left him behind. Using drinking as an excuse to forget about it/avoid unpacking the damage that was and is still being done.
'Cause now I'm scared that everyone I love will leave me…
One of the deepest darkest fears for Sirius. Sixteen years of family tolerating him then getting rid of him and seeming perfectly fine with pretending he didn’t exist has him terrified of losing the family he has found. An excuse to explore this would be interesting. I wouldn’t call him clingy but there is definitely a fear of friends growing bored of his antics and disposing of him similarly to how his family did. Whether this is over apologizing from saying something wrong or over reading into someone he’s close to’s behavior and assuming he did something… or something similar.
But I’d rather fake pee than stand awkwardly…
A friend or two from before Sirius got disowned. I would presume there had to be someone he was close to before finding the Marauders, potentially with that lasting until his name got blasted off the tapestry. Unless he was the kid all the other parents cringed at and told their child to stay away from. Either way, someone he was close to. Happy to explore that, having been out of pitying his not exactly fitting in or actually being friends. Friends to enemies is another take I’ll gladly work with.
I don’t really want to do the work today…
Someone to encourage Sirius to better apply himself (close friend, pureblood passive-aggressively saying so, etc.). Pureblood upbringing and a sharp mind could likely be put to better use outside the bar setting, but he’s perfectly happy to bartend. He likely will not consider switching career paths. That said, getting that thought of seeing if the Ministry or somewhere more professional will take him could get him to start to reconsider being content at the bar.
I’m overcompensating for heartbreak
Sirius has never been good at relationships, often proving to be careless with them and preferring one-night stands over things being serious. Looking to establish a few hookups, exes, and/or anyone he may have been a little too careless about. I hc Sirius as not caring about who he is with as long as a decent shag and/or night spent cuddled up can be promised, so will open this up to anyone. Lovely case of “why would I open up to loving someone else if I can’t love myself” keeping him from having properly dated over the years.
It was giving me hell, so I gave it the same…
Someone that regularly picked on Sirius from Hogwarts onward. Can still be in the habit of doing so. Open to that having been something since childhood if a pureblood picks that connection up. Would love for things to have escalated to Sirius giving the attitude or hexes thrown his way back.
If you’re sad and you know it, and you don’t want to show it, clap your hands…
Sirius could benefit from having a trustworthy person to confide in, especially if their level of trust was established before being disowned, or strengthened afterward.
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So, I'm curious: What's your take on Aylin's experience after/if she kills Lorroakan?
Allegedly, there's some information floating around somewhere that said Aylin was angry with Selune after she killed Lorroakan, but I can't find where this info is.
If you saw posts about that here on tumblr it was probably posted by @justanotherignot! I've actually been meaning to gather up all the devnote tidbits about Selûne from Aylin and Isobel for a while now, so thank you for the excuse to do so and ramble a bit.
Player: I was just wondering what it was like in that cage of Balthazar's.
Aylin: Let us not dwell on those dark days. Their memory is a vortex within my heart that leads directly to the Hells.
What is happening is, well, it's the century of unthinkable horror catching up to her. It's the Trauma(TM) - in one of the conversation options she's literally triggered by the mention of someone being run through repeatedly! It's the growing awareness that although she's been freed (and possibly reunited with her love), the secret is out and there are always going to be assholes gunning for her, aiming to use her as an "artefact" and power source to fuel their ambitions, without any regard for her, you know... basic personhood and well-being. Also, Lorroakan was blatantly lying. He didn't find any super special way to siphon her immortality with "no harm, no pain of any kind", he was just replicating Balthazar's soul cage (you can even find a letter from Ketheric to him, showing Lorroakan was pestering them).
On to the stuff from the game files! First, the conversation with Aylin directly after the Lorroakan fight in the tower. I'm going to be putting the context notes in square brackets next to the lines they apply to. I also plucked some audio out from the files for some of these because I love the delivery.
Aylin: The fire-haired fool is dead. Yet as I stare upon his corpse, I feel… sadness. Why? [Slow and curious, angry and confused by all that has happened.]
Player: What kind of sadness is it? / I know something of sadness - or at least the ballads do. What does it feel like?
Aylin: A gripping in the chest. As though I'd lost someone, something. [Lost in thought for a moment; confused.]
Aylin: A paladin's fatigue, no doubt. You were excellent in battle, as is your way. And I am proud to fight at your side. [Remembering herself. She is Dame Aylin.]
Aylin: I will catch my breath, then to camp I will bring my bones. Moonmaiden be with you.
Player: Smiting is a weighty duty - sometimes it can be tiring. / Perhaps smiting has lost its pleasures.
Aylin: Say it can't be so. For I am Selûne's sword. And ever must be. [She means it, but on the periphery of her consciousness is a tiny crack. Wondering about her fate.]
The above never fails to get me - she is Dame Aylin! Sword of the Moonmaiden! Glorious immortal paladin, champion of a righteous cause! She smites evil-doers for breakfast, that's, like, her whole thing! What do you mean she can't just pick up where she left off and go about her merry smitey way? What do you mean the thing that is supposed to be the literal core of her entire being (forever) doesn't feel good and glorious anymore, but just makes her feel sad and empty? No, no, no, we can't have that.
Player: One of the greatest tragedies of revenge is that it can only be taken once. / Because you won't get to kill him again?
Aylin: Perhaps. Yet if I could run him through a thousand times, I wonder-- [Lost in thought, she's been triggered to remember her own fate being run through over and over.]
Aylin: Battle has tired my mind, made me susceptible to flights of fancy. You were excellent in battle, as is your way. And I am proud to fight at your side.
Aylin: I will return to camp shortly. I just need a moment to… to… [Lost in thought.]
She so very desperately needs some rest and a chance to come to terms with everything that happened and that was done to her. And it's clear it's going to be hard because she is defaulting to trying to deny anything is wrong, is clearly trying (and failing) to just be her old self immediately, has blatantly internalised a lot of that classic I Am A Sword stuff on top of everything (even though her mother is huge on free will and choice!), and is just really not well-equipped to handle any of this at all.
Next, this is the post-Lorroakan convo you get if you have both Aylin and Isobel in camp.
Aylin: Ah. Ally mine. We are reunited once more. [Warm, but drained. She's not feeling like herself.]
Aylin: I was just regaling sweet Isobel with tales of our prowess.
Isobel: Very impressive. Thank you for helping Aylin - that wizard sounded absolutely dastardly. [Good humored. Soft in tone. A little uncertain - she's not sure why Aylin isn't herself.]
Player: My pleasure. He had it coming.
Aylin: He did, and it came. Now, my friend: bask in your victory. I will do the same.
Aylin: But fear not: when the time comes for you to face the foe of foes, Isobel and I will stand by your side. [Rallying her soldierly spirit, but still a little drained.]
Isobel: We wouldn't miss it. Not for anything.
Aylin: Go well, friend. We will see you soon. And with our great powers combined, this city will be saved.
Player: Hopefully he'll be the last.
Aylin: There are always more bastards behind bastards. But we will run through them all, each by each.
Player: I hope you can rest easy now, Dame Aylin.
Aylin: I always do, with darling Isobel by my side.
Aylin: Enjoy the spoils of your victory. Spin memories of Lorroakan's death in your mind like silkfloss.
If Isobel isn't there (meaning she died in Act 2), you get this version:
Aylin: Ah. Ally mine. We are reunited once more. [Warm, but drained. She's not feeling like herself.]
Aylin: I was just reviewing our fight against foul Lorroakan; your moves and mine. The victory was soundly won.
Aylin: Don't you think? [Uncharacteristically, Aylin is seeking input. She's usually so confident about everything, but killing Lorroakan has not had the intended effect on her.]
Player: Indeed I do. Let his demise serve as a warning to anyone else who'd seek you out.
Aylin: Let him be the last. If my dear mother has any mercy, she will ensure it. [Trying to stay her usual self, but her mask is cracking a tiny bit here. Privately, Aylin is dealing with a great deal of anger toward her mother, the goddess Selûne, But she's not yet willing to face it. How could her powerful mother let all this happen to her?]
Player: We fought well - though I was a little worried about you afterward, in truth.
Aylin: Set your mind at ease, my friend. Dame Aylin is more well now than she has been this past century. [Good humored. Soft in tone. A little uncertain - it's true she's better now than she has been, but why does she feel so shitty, then? (She's in the beginning of reckoning with the trauma of what happened to her).]
Player: I hope you can rest easy now, Dame Aylin.
Aylin: Yes. I wish for the very same.
Aylin: Enjoy the spoils of your victory. Spin memories of our prowess in your mind like silkfloss.
So, a few things pop out for me here. First, you get the more explicit anger at Selûne if Isobel isn't there, as opposed to the "hahah, I will smite all the bastards who dare come after me, no matter how many there are" line. "How could her powerful mother let all this happen to her?" just... damn, hits hard, even if you subscribe to the theory that Selûne simply could not intervene in the Shadowfell imprisonment beyond sending those poor people whose graves you find in front of the mausoleum.
And here Aylin really lays it on thick with the denial that there's anything wrong at all. Combined with the letter you get from her in the epilogue if Isobel is dead, it just paints such a bleak, sad picture. I can just see her going all out on the Sword of Selûne duty-bound paladin side of things, no rest, no healing, no stopping even for a moment, no dealing with anything at all, from the trauma to the bitterness towards mum. Until whatever horrible breaking point comes, a year or a century from now. The need for Isobel's humanising influence is so clear. I've touched on Isobel's side of things here.
Speaking of having a bone to pick with Selûne, if you're playing as a cleric/paladin of Selûne, you can get some extra very honest dialogue with Isobel in Last Light:
Player: Why has the Moonmaiden waited until now to take an interest in this curse?
Isobel: Maybe she was waiting for one of us to find this place ourselves. Free will, and all that.
Isobel: Though if it were my place to ask why she let Ketheric turn; why she allowed this village to rot at his hands - believe me, I would. [A cold edge in her voice]
Player: Are you faring all right? It can't be easy holding a lone candle in such darkness.
Isobel: All things with her strength. You know the litany. [A little sarcastically. She's got a bone to pick with Selûne but isn't being too overt.]
Side note: the amount of devnotes for Isobel's lines that say she's delivering them "with swagger" and being "cheeky" makes me smile every time. Love her. Love her snark.
Also, to get it out of the way: no, I'm fairly sure Aylin did not break her oath. I see this brought up a ton and I just see no way for it to be the case. There is nothing to suggest this outside of a wording similarity and it just makes no sense. Girl is clearly some flavour of Oath of Vengeance (she uses Abjure Enemy, so this is the case even mechanically, even though she's obviously an NPC and not a standard player-build paladin) and she killed a very shitty guy who was also explicitly after her in godawful ways. You can do far worse things in the game than her dramatic speech and backbreaker and not break your OoV.
#sorry this took so long!#baldur's gate 3#bg3#dame aylin#isobel thorm#lorroakan#datamine#voice lines#audio#i'm stopping myself here but i could go on about this FOREVER#time for the comfort part of the hurt/comfort let's goooooooooo#oathkeeper replies to things
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Response Summarized
I will likely not look at things on the situation anymore; it's been aggravating my anxiety to high levels for days and bringing my mind back to thinking about my past years-long experience irl with what might've been emotional abuse...
My takeaway from this: guilty? innocent? I'd say Alex is innocent in some regards and guilty in others. I'm sorry for ALL involved no one deserves to be doxxed and harassed. The seriousness of the situation is that these rash responses could've gotten a suicide report on Alex instead of receiving this response, think about that fact. This isn't just a cancelization or drama you could've gotten someone KILLED as someone who is a very emotional person myself I want you to reel in your emotions I don't care that a lot of you are teenagers, so am I and there is nothing that justifies doxxing when you are not even 100% sure that every single allegated claim is true.
This has been extremely immaturely by the internet and community, think on your actions because some responses made were very much illegal. I saw someone post Alex's full legal name, phone number, address and past address while calling Alex a transgender slur which I have since reported and gotten taken down. The angry mob mentality on both sides is unacceptable: harassing the victims, harassing Alex, harassing neutrals. (None of these are appropriate responses, stay rational.) I've been appalled, disgusted and utterly disappointed, shame on you.
Also remember that it is not within your right to be like, "Alex, we all forgive you🥺🥺🥺" You were not the one who got hurt. People still had their mental health declined by Alex's reckless actions, which I am truly sorry for. I hope you heal.
I'll likely still post TMC content sometimes, as I'm emotionally attached to the characters. The fandom itself got me through some difficult times, and I would have stayed regardless of whether or not this response was posted only due to that.
I think that both Ven and Alex need to take a step away from the internet, as well as their past relationship issues, and go offline.
Anyone may feel free to share tldr I got off discord to other sites or with mutuals etc. If you have the time please PLEASE actually read the document itself, there's a lot more to it and those who don't read are the ones who spread the most misinformation.
#tmc#the mandela catalogue#I'm not sure how to feel on this whole thing anymore#mandela catalogue#alex kister#update#horror#analog horror#tldr
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(If you're someone who enjoys my work, and also happens to like/support AI generated images, please give this a read? Just hear me out, please. This is not a bashing post, I promise. It's not pro-ai either though. But please hear me out)
This whole AI art stuff is just getting... Honestly exhausting. If you are someone who supports AI generated images, I beg of you, hear me out? I'm not here to bash, to say you're a bad person or a thief. I know it's more complex than that. I'm just, trying to express how I feel about this whole ordeal. I'm not here to get angry either. I don't have the energy for that. I'm also not trying to change your mind. Just, hopefully help you see/feel a different perspective? That's all.
Long rant under the cut because. There's a lot.
I'm not even angry anymore. I don't have the energy for that. But I keep seeing AI images all over, everywhere. The thing is getting better (because of course it is). And I see more and more people support it. And sometimes those people are also artists or people who like art and support artists.
And then I also see artists be laid off. I see how it gets harder and harder to make a break in the industry. And even after you make it you get laid off because... People don't wanna bother with it anymore. Corps would rather cut costs.
And then I see people defend AI images. Say it's okay, that it isn't stealing from artists, that it is just a tool, ignoring a huge part of the problem (whether willfully or not).
And it just makes me so incredibly sad. So utterly devastated.
I was angry. I really used to be angry. I'm just hurt now. Hopeless for the future. And tired. Really really damn tired.
Tired of artists having to justify their existance in the professional world. Tired of people just saying... No.
No, you don't get to thrive. And you're selfish and entitled for wanting to thrive. No, you don't get to feel hurt when your work gets scrapped without your permission to feed a data base designed to replace you. No, you don't get a say in this. Don't like? Bohoo, don't see.
Well, how can I not see when this issue directly affects how I live? How can I not see when this issue affects my future? It's not just a matter of "Don't like x kind of content, don't interact with it". It really is not. I really wish it was, I wish it was that simple. But it's not. Because this is not something like a ship or a trope that one can ignore and not be affected. This is like trying to ignore a dumpster fire in your neighborhood. Yeah, you can avoid looking at it. You can avoid talking about it. But the smoke is still getting into your house. You're still breathing it. It's still hurting you. It will have effects on your life, whether you like it or not.
I threw away 12 years of my life building up my skill to work in a field that feels like it's dying out. Am I (and countless other artists) just supposed to start over? How? Time is unforgiving.
Bohoo for your bad choices, suck it up. Your fault for pursuing art as a career.
Was I supposed to just, KNOW, somehow, that the career I choose, that used to be viable, would just... Take this turn? Was I supposed to have a 10 year look into the the future?
You should create for the joy of creating!
I do. I love creating. I love making people happy with my work. Work I spent years perfecting. It's the most beautiful feeling in the world to know that someone smiled or cried or felt something because of something I did. It makes me smile and cry too.
But I also like to be able to eat. To have a roof. To pay for my meds. And the joy of creating honestly dwindles each time I see people talk about AI images the same way they talk about a painting in the Louvure.
Becaus they do. I've seen people talk about images generated by a machine (built upon stealing artwork from unconsenting artists) like they're the work of God. And they write such beautiful things too. And I'm left baffled, confused, uneasy.
And then I go to see artists, living, breathing, feeling artists, who create marvelous pieces, who pour their heart into their work, who shed sweat blood and tears to get their skills to where they are, who are still shedding sweat blood and tears to keep improving... And they don't even get a 'nice'. They've been job searching for 3 years. They can't get a steady flow of commissions. They're scrambling to be able to get a table at a con.
And it hurts to my very core.
It hurts in a place I don't even know how to describe, because it's so deep and so personal and so raw that I don't think there's a name for it.
I love art. I love it so damn much. I love making it, I love sharing it, I love teaching it.
I think many other people love art too. I think many other people who love art don't even consciously realize they do.
And it hurts seeing art just... Become this.
It hurts seeing the artistic souls of this earth be pushed down and down again and again over and over and be told to just. To just suck it up.
To die off.
Because when people support AI images, they are telling us to die off. It feels like they are telling us to die off.
And I don't think the people who do realize it at all, because a lot of people who support AI images are not bad people. They are not. They enjoy art too. But they are, consiously or not, directly or indirectly, hurting the artists whose work made the data base AI generators use possible.
They're telling us to die off because they already have our work. And they can use it to generate new, regurgitated work faster, cheaper. They don't need us. So while they may like what us, artists, do, they're feeding a system that is killing us off. Both metaphorically and literally. Metaphorically by killing the will to create. Literally by taking our living off of us (or at least to those who's art is their living. Like myself).
And again.
It hurts so damn much.
And I don't think a lot of people manage to see the hurt past all the anger.
I, personally, have grown exhausted and there's no anger left in me, only sad and hurt.
But I promise you, behind every angry and fighting and barking and bitting artists there is out there, there's hurt. There's some form of hurt behind each and every one of them. Of us.
I really hope this reaches the right people. Whether that be a fellow artists struggling to get their feelings into words to let them know they're not alone. Or someone who supports AI images, and supports artists too, and can maybe get a glimpse into a side of this whole issue. Not necessarily to change their mind but, maybe help them understand better where all the anger from artists may be coming from.
Please, I'm not here to start any fights or debates. I really am not. I just need to get this sort of thing out there, because I think talking about it is important.
#Rambles#I know I have some followers that like my work that also like AI#I still love you#I know you don't try to do harm and are just here to vibe about the same blorbos#I know you like art in general#But I'd wish you could hear me out on this#Even if it doesn't change your perception
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𝒮𝓉𝒶𝓇𝑔𝒶𝓏𝒾𝓃𝑔; 𝘕𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘺𝘢𝘮 𝘹𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
Romantic Story about you and Neteyam Stargazing.
Warnings: Smut, toe curling- feet kicking stuff , bad grammar and no proof read, i guess thats it.
It‘s my first story and english is not my first language SO pls be gentle:,)
I was mad. Angry and disappointed with my brother's behavior and the consequences that followed. Ao'nung had known very well from thousands of conversations with our father what he thought of unauthorized excursions outside the reef.
But then also take someone who doesn't know their way around and then leave them there. Alone? My brother was lucky that Loak had taken the blame.
But since dad knows his children, there was a lecture behind closed doors anyway.So now it was my turn to apologize to the Sullys. Or at least with Neteyam, who got sucked into it all. I really felt sorry for him now. Every time his brother messed things up, he had to pay for it.I knew that all too well. I was starting to feel like the babysitter, the one who was sent to make things right without anyone noticing.
Actually I should have drowned Ao’nung after this drama he caused.
Instead, I was on my way to the Sullys' hut, basket in hand and a smile on my face. So I should apologize on behalf of my family.
As if this were my job...
But instead of the whole Sully family, all I saw was Neteyam staring at the floor.He was sitting on his bed, his hands propped behind him, and he was looking down at his stretched out legs.
"Hey.." I started waiting for his reaction. Neteyam looked up in surprise and smiled sadly.
"Hey nice to see you what are you doing here?"He sat up and stretched while I set the basket down in the corner.Neteyam has always been good-looking. Jake showed me and Tsireya some childhood photos of him and Loak because he knew how embarrassed Loak was in front of Tsireya.He was slim but muscular even as a child and an absolute charmer.
No one has ever thrown compliments like that at me just to take me for a walk on the beach. But Neteyam was gentle and respectful. He was never pushy and always gave me enough space. I didn't really know what exactly that was with us. It felt like friendship, but in some moments more intimate than a friendship should be.What I kind of liked was his jealousy when I was talking to other Metkayina. Neteyam used to do this weird thing with his eyes as he looked me up and down and then smiled away the flirty comments the guys made. It gave him a kind of confidence that reassured me what a good leader he would be.
Right now he's looking more downcast as he tries to somehow smile at my father's gift of exotic fruit that I'm pointing to."It comes from my father, I think everyone here knew it was my brother's fault. I apologize for his behavior."Neteyam's eyebrows rose. "Thanks to your Father Blut that wouldn't have been necessary, they're just children, what can you do?" I sighed. He was again far too good-natured. Another reason why the clan would be mighty proud of him.
"I'm sorry for you too." I whispered and wrapped my arms around my body. "I mean you really have to take a lot with your brother, the expectations of the family and now your escape. You seem so composed. I'm overwhelmed with my brother." I laughed. I could hardly imagine his train of thought in the last few weeks.
"Yeah." He murmurs, sitting back on the bed with a sigh and patting next to him as a sign for me to sit down, which I'm doing."You know even if I don't show it, sometimes I could really cry when I think about all of this. I mean I'm proud of my family, but all of this is unfair."I put a hand on his leg to let him know I understand. "I am very sure that you can do all this. My family would tear for a son like you, I think."
Neteyam shakes his head and fixes my hand on his leg, then my eyes. "If I had a daughter like you, I wouldn't worry about the son anymore. You do a lot more than necessary."I shrug my shoulders, rolling my eyes. "As a first born daughter I don't think I can do enough to be placed on the same level as your brain burned brother."
Neteyam sits on the floor and pulls me down with him. All he does is hold my hand while he looks at me like I offended him.He squeezes my hand, which is so much smaller than his."Stop making yourself worse than you are." He pauses, reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of my face and running his finger down my chin."i see u y/n. With full respect."I spit out almost implausibly until I realize how serious he means it. "I see u too Neteyam." I whisper.
The next few weeks were just weird in a cute way. Of course, Neteyam always showed me respect, but never like on our last night. There was that intimacy I was talking about again. And since then I, as well as Neteyam, have been more open about our feelings. Instead of a little smile when we crossed paths, he literally stared after me, put his arm around me in public, the compliments were no longer thrown at me, no, I was literally showered.
And now they were all sitting around the campfire. My people and his family celebrated our coming together while I and Neteyam had long since made off."Where are you going?" I ask quietly as we stumble across the sand together. He holds my hand and invites me into the water. I just follow him silently and wait for an answer.
As we stand chest-deep in the water, he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me towards him, and I immediately wrap my legs around him. This is the first time we've been this close. And it's the first time Neteyam has renounced all of his resolutions. I look deep into his eyes, almost seeing his pure soul and the Na'vi I've lusted after for so long. All my heart was screaming for was this moment here."You trust me don't you?" He raised his eyebrows.
"always."
I answer quietly and have the feeling that I have swallowed my voice.Neteyam swims out a few meters to a rocky seat just before the end of the reef. I reluctantly let him get out of the water before he pulls me onto the cold stone slab. In front of us the open sea and the sound of the waves."I just hope that the lunar cycle doesn't put a spanner in the works"
I bow my head in confusion, but a short time later I understand what he means. A shower of stars tears open the sky. Individual long white threads shoot past the heavens like rain. With my mouth open, I admire the game in the sky.
"Neteyam-"I get up to get a closer look. "that is beautiful. "That was it. Most likely the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
"That's it."
I hear Neteyam saying, who looks at me enthusiastically as I look down at him. Only then do I realize that he means me. He takes my hand and I sit down with him on the pleasantly lukewarm ground, warmed by the hot springs nearby."I was actually going to do this a few weeks ago, but missed the moment to ask you." he says dejectedly, as if he hadn't just given me the most beautiful present in the world.I take his hand and put the other hand on his neck. "It's perfect." I breathe in amazement.
The moment Neteyam licks his lips and kisses me just feels blurry.His lips are soft, gentle. Even as he kisses me so urgently, I can feel the caution in his kiss. While his one hand rests on my thigh and squeezes it lightly, his other hand travels from my face down to my waist. As gently as he kisses me, as gently as he turns us around until he lies between my legs. At that moment I feel everything and nothing at the same time, simply because it seems so surreal. His hand still on my waist as he kisses wantingly down my neck. It's warm, as are the kisses as it travels down my chest. He looks up, I'm breathing heavily and just want him to continue. But he elicits my silent approval in the form of a nod before touching points that make me moan.Neteyam is slow, just to torment me he kisses every part of my thighs before tampering with my wet sensitivity.I giggle because he keeps me waiting so long but enjoy it.
As soon as he touched my soft spot, I only hear a soft moan from him, which drives me crazy. I've never seen Neteyam so excited but the way he's looking at me like a goddess makes me weak. He keeps going, never missing an opportunity to touch me anywhere, until he stops. I exhale violently.His face appeared over mine. It's his eyes I look into, his tongue pressing against his cheek as he enters me. Fucked me almost unconscious."fuck you are so incredibly beautiful." he gasps. His eyes wander over my whole body, my face, my breasts on which he distributes kisses. On his thing that breaks me down.
I claw his back and accept the tugging sensation in my stomach that washes over me just before I come and Neteyam pulls himself out of me. The white liquid lands on my stomach.It feels like minutes he's still crouched over me looking me in the eyes just before he collapses next to me. Still breathing heavily, I turn to face him. He kisses my forehead."Im glad ." he grins and caresses my cheek. "how come?" I ask laughing.Neteyam shrugs. "Well. There's no place I'd rather have done it than with you here. A month ago I didn't even have the guts to kiss you, you know? I think it was right because i really,like, really like you." He kisses my forehead dreamily and I smile.I snuggle up to his neck, breathe in the scent of sea air and watch the stars in the sky, which are our only witness.
#avatar smut#avatar#avatar neteyam#loak#neytiri#jake sully#tsireya#neteyam#avatar the way of water#avatar kiri#avatar tuk#aonung#neteyam x reader
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