Were Zack and Henry Disney Channel kids or Nickelodeon kids growing up (if the channels exist in their universe?) Because I personally feel like Zack would quote SpongeBob and sing the songs unironically. (Also prank calling Ray and asking Is ThIs ThE KrUsTy KrAb?)

Oof, I’m kinda botching this new friendship already, aren’t I? 😬 I sincerely apologize, I’m kinda going through stuff right now so I haven’t logged on in quite a few days and I had everything running strictly on a queue. I would also like to once again apologize for the amount of words I’m about to spew out for such a simple question and I thank you immensely for continuing to indulge me despite the fact that it takes me a billion words to get to the point 😅

I love love love this question, but I feel like it can get a bit tricky with the amount of crossovers that have existed on both channels. But before I get into all that, let me just say first that YOU GET IT! I’ve legit thought about Zack quoting Spongebob to Henry multiple times. Like, it’s just fun to think about them both growing up with it, but while Henry kinda grew out of it after a while and really only watches it if like, Piper’s watching it or something, Zack still kinda does regularly. So, Henry recognizes the references from the earliest seasons, but Zack can quote scenes from the latest seasons that just go straight over Henry’s head 😅 (and then Zack is facepalming because Henry has essentially ruined the joke by forcing Zack to explain it lmao) 

WAIT, WAIT, THIS JUST MADE ME THINK OF SOMETHING FUNNY (well, funny to me anyways) but, I have this HC that I carry over to basically every universe that's basically, Zack knows how to play guitar and he often does so just like, as a hobby, so I just got the image of Hen and Zack in their shared apartment and it's one of their date nights where they decided to just stay in, and they had a little picnic on the floor, and it's all intimate and cute and romantic, and Zack pulls out his acoustic guitar and ofc Henry thinks he's gonna play like, one of their songs or like, a love song or something and Zack even strums a few chords to make Henry think that but then he just dives straight into the Campfire Song Song, and then Henry literally just gets up and leaves the room at that point (but, he does come back a few seconds later to sing along, because, well, you have to. It’s in the lyrics. Also, Henry’s just used to Zack’s antics at that point, he finds them endearing. and it’s not like he hasn’t pulled his own shit during the course of their relationship. it’s another thing that makes them so compatible.) (they’re idiots to idiots in love)

But, anyway, back to the original question; like I said, it gets tricky with the liveaction stuff because of all the crossovers and even,,, reusing actors, so it’s kinda hard to say like, what would be just a tv show in this universe. It’s a little easier with the cartoons I’d say, so I don’t really mind saying they exist as tv shows but like. Even with the Loud House, since there was an episode with j*ce and Cooper like,,,,, would Zack just make a joke about “hey that character kinda sounds like you” ??? who knows

 But, since Suite Life had crossovers with Hannah Montana, That’s So Raven and Wizards then I would just assume that would rule those out as being just tv shows. (although, sometimes i do forget about the crossovers because I thought about Zack finding out Henry’s secret, and being the little shit that he is is just like “oh. so you're just like Hannah Montana :)” but then I remember he like, sort of knows Hannah Montana alsdjf but then that opens up the possibility of Hannah actually existing as a popstar in this universe, and Hen just being like “are you trying to tell me you know Hannah Montana? Like, the popstar Hannah Montana? Best of Both Worlds Hannah Montana?” and Zack just being like “yeah! She ate cake off my sweater vest once :)” henry, after several seconds of silence: “are you messing with me? I feel like you’re messing with me. You’d never wear a sweater vest.” Zack: “this coming from the guy who still tries to convince me he met Bigfoot” “I DID MEET BIGFOOT”) (yes, I’ve thought extensively about this conversation) 

But, even with like,,,,Phil of the Future. I mean, technically I could say that’s just a tv show but since Brenda Song was in it for a bit like. Do Hen and Zack just think her character has an uncanny resemblance to London?? 

There was an episode of HD where Hen and Ray were watching Drake and Josh in the Man Cave, so I could see both of them being fans of that show when they’re kids. And I know both Nathan Kress and Jerry Trainor were guest stars so that might make it a little tricky, but I’d also like to believe that they (meaning Zenry ofc) enjoyed iCarly and also enjoy the reboot. 

I can’t believe I’ve never thought about Zack pranking Ray though. Like, I’ll be super super honest, I cant stand Ray, and I’m so SO close to just straight up making him the villain in one of my AUs that I kinda project that hatred through Zack a bit. Because, Zack sort of only sees the damage that Ray has done when it comes Henry, with basically throwing him into crime-fighting at just 13 and not really training him or giving him any slack when it came to Henry trying to figure out how to balance that world with school and his social life and whatnot, and even just the trauma Henry would face with like, losing his superpower in order to save the world and just,,,getting his ass kicked all the time. And since Hen is basically Zack’s world, he’s just,,,,,not really a fan of Ray; he basically tolerates him when he has to for Henry’s sake. But, I love the thought of him using prank calling as a way to get petty revenge lmao. Like, ofc it doesn’t really do anything, at best it just confuses Ray and maybe drives him insane/ruins his day, but. Any way Zack can get minor revenge on him is enough (also can’t stop thinking about henry catching him in the act one time and just being like “are you prank calling Ray again? 🙄” Zack: “👀 No. That was………Cody.”) 

Anyways, I’m sorry, I feel like I just rambled on forever in the most incoherent way possible and didn’t even answer your question 😬 but this was still super fun to think about anyways 😅

Time With You

Hello everybody, happy 2024!!! I'm on annual leave (that i took to read hofas lmao) and decided to use this time to right this fic that has been in the back of my head for monthsssss but i hate using my laptop so never got around to writing it until now.

it does start out with Aedion's POV, something i dont think ive ever done, but it ends with Aelin's as this is a rowaelin story lol

as always, hope you enjoy!!

cw: brief mentions of death/grief, arobynn hamel being a POS. but otherwise its purely fluff bc i love human au rowaelin fluff

word count: 1500+

Aedion couldn't stop staring at his cousin—which sounded strange, but he had a very good reason for why his eyes were glued to his cousin; Rowan Whitethorn's hand was on her bare thigh.

And why was it on her bare thigh? He had no idea.

Aedion was aware that they were talking more, had become friends instead of constantly bickering, but he wasn't at all aware that their friendship had moved to the point where Rowan was resting his hand on Aelin's thigh.

And Aelin seemed to like the fact that it was there. He knew his cousin as if she was his sister—if she didn't want that touch, then she would remove it and bite Rowan's head off. It wasn't like she was a stranger doing that. One of their first conversations when Aelin had started at Orynth University had been a verbal spat; Rowan bumped into her and when Aelin asked for an apology, Rowan claimed that she had been in the way and that she should apologise to him.

And so that one conversation started years worth of petty arguments and forced proximity due to Aedion's friendship with the silver-haired man.

“Stop staring,” Lysandra hissed under her breath.

Aedion turned to his fiancee, and frowned. “How long has that been going on for?” He hoped that his cousin and Rowan couldn't hear him. All of their friends were at their local pub, the best way to catch up these days, the air outside in the courtyard refreshing after being inside a stuffy office. And when everyone got there, they had found that Rowan and Aelin were already there, occupying a tall table with stools—with only enough room for the both of them. And when everyone else went to the long benches that they always sat at, Aelin and Rowan stayed at their own table, talking amongst themselves.

“They've been talking for a while,” Lysandra said, her emerald green eyes sparkling from the warm fairy-lights strung up around the place.

Aedion's frown deepened. “What does that mean?”

Just then, Rowan stood up, the menu from the restaurant behind them in his hand, his wallet in his other and he leaned over and kissed Aelin on her cheek.

Aelin's smile was brighter than the sun.

“Since when does Rowan kiss Aelin?” Aedion asked his eyes about to drop out from their sockets and his confusion growing even more. He and Aelin were as close as siblings, but he could admit to himself that he did feel a little hurt that Aelin hadn't told him of this development.

With Rowan out of sight, Lysandra and Elide shot up out of their seats and made their way towards Aelin. Aedion followed after them, even though Elide said, “Women only, cousin.” Aedion didn't listen and stood next to Lysandra, patiently waiting for his cousin to speak.

XXXXX

It was a little embarrassing to admit it, even to herself, but with the moment Rowan put his hand on her bare thigh, all thoughts but one disappeared.

Aelin liked Rowan, a lot.

And when Rowan got up to order their dinner—and was insisting on paying for her—Aelin forgot that all their friends were only a few feet away, that there were strangers surrounding them, that live music was being played, but when he got up and left, and her friends and cousin were in front of her, asking question after question, Aelin had to mentally slap herself out of the stupor she found herself in and asked Aedion to repeat his question, but only because he was the one who spoke last.

“Are you and Rowan dating?”

“No, not yet.” And Gods, maybe it sounded pathetic, which she hated sounding, but she hoped that they would soon move on from this weird-limbo thing that found themselves in and would start seeing each other properly.

“When did you start liking him like that?”

Aelin shrugged, if only because it was too long of a story to get into right now. “I'll message you about it later.”

Aedion raised his eyebrow. “You promise?”

Aelin huffed a laughed when he extended his pinkie finger, his fathers ring gleaming in the fairy-lights. “I promise,” she said, wrapping her pinkie around his. “Now go, all of you, Rowan's coming back.” They all rolled their eyes at her, but did what she said and soon, Aelin found herself face-to-face with Rowan again.

XXXXX

Aelin was glad she left her car at her apartment, finding that the evening was nice and breezy without being too cold, because it meant that Rowan walked her home and held her hand the entire time. Her smile was so wide she knew that she would still feel it hours later.

Gods, she couldn't remember the last time she had been so...giddy about someone. Maybe in the beginning stages with Chaol, before their relationship fizzled out and they both realised that they were better off as friends (and they very much were; sometimes it was like they never dated for two years and lived together for one).

But this beginning with Rowan, it felt different. She didn't want to think too much of it, but Aelin...she thought to herself that it would be very easy to fall in love with him. How funny life was to go from heavily disliking him, to holding his hand weeks after she found in the park near the beach, his eyes teary as he sat in silence, his grief consuming him over the death of his late girlfriend, Lyria.

Aelin found herself at that same park due to her own grief over the deaths of her parents. They had been gone for years and years, but the time living under the harsh and cruel roof of her foster parent, Arobynn Hamel, still lingered, may always linger, as her therapist told her, but it was up to Aelin to decide what to do with those emotional and mental scars.

And they found themselves talking about their grief, their lives and wishes for their futures. He walked her home after that as well, and their friendship had changed after that, for which she was very grateful for—that there was someone else like her that dealt with dark thoughts and feelings, but was fighting each day to overcome them.

Shaking off the thought, Aelin blinked and realised that she and Rowan were just a couple of moments away from the front doors of her apartment building.

Rowan dropped her off at her front door, the scent of her favourite diffuser—camellia and lotus flower—greeting her as she opened her front door. Rowan cleared his throat and Aelin turned to him.

“It's your weekend off, isn't it?” he asked, his Doranelle accent still quite thick even after living in Terrasen for years now.

“Yes.” She was assistant manager of Havilliard Books. She and Dorian, one of her oldest friends and store manager, long ago worked out a schedule that worked amazingly for them both. And not only was she assistant manager, but she handled their stores personal Instagram page, and because Dorian's father owned the multiple stores throughout the continent, Dorian made sure that she received extra payment for keeping their page up to date and inviting.

“Did you have any plans this weekend?”

“No, I'm free all day.” She usually reserved Sunday for an apartment clean, but fuck that. She could clean later.

Rowan smile, his facial tattoo crinkling slightly. It was a work of art, that tattoo, the Old Language of Doranelle was stark against his golden-tanned skin.

“How about I finally take you out on a proper date? Starting from the moment I arrive here tomorrow morning and it ending whenever you want?”

Aelin's smile grew impossibly more. “I would very much like that.”

Rowan's smile grew too. “Good, then I'll see you tomorrow, Aelin. I am very much looking forward to it.”

Aelin reached up and kissed his cheek like he had kissed hers earlier. “I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you for walking me home. Goodnight, Rowan.”

“Goodnight, Aelin, I'll see you tomorrow, how does nine sound?”

“That sounds good.” And as an early riser—even on her days off—it would give her plenty of time to get ready.

“Okay, I'll see you then.” He kissed the top of her hand, reminding her of her favourite romance stories and waited until she was inside and locked the door behind her to leave.

A whoosh of air left Aelin and she found herself humming to her favourite classical pieces. She did end up cleaning her apartment, finding that she had too much energy to have a shower and go to bed, and as she cleaned, she called Aedion, telling her cousin of her budding relationship with Rowan. Her cousin was ecstatic for her, even as he promised to kick his arse if Rowan hurt her—although Aelin told her meddlesome cousin that she could very much do that herself, as she took self-defense classes at her gym and had the toned and muscled body to prove it.

Afterwards, as she lay in bed, she and Rowan texted each other until Aelin's eyes started drooping, her last message only half-written, but she fell asleep with a smile on her face, ready for tomorrow.

Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark!

@saburo-kyoto

Alright here you go. You asked for this. Hella suggestive so I'm putting it under a cut. Get y'all weird kinky peepaw rabbit. Didn't write much so don't expect much, lmao But there's pet play and feet stuff. Pretty fuckin' weird.

A series of dramatic noises escape your lips as you lazily tug at your restraints; not in an attempt at escape, but as a result of having grown restless.

You’re alone in your cage.

Bored.

Neglected.

Craving attention that hasn’t been given for what feels like days.

This is all just a cry for that attention. A silly, desperate plea for anything to stave away the boredom.

A plea that thankfully catches the right ears.

“That’s enough.” The familiar, raspy voice of the purple rabbit cuts through the air, silencing your pleas. As he speaks, he steps forward. He presses a foot against your chest, pushing you back.“Good pets don’t cause a ruckus.” He utters, using his foot to push you onto your back. He takes another step forward. A faint tremble rolls through you as he begins to apply pressure to your chest.

Not a lot. Just enough to remind you of your place.

Beneath him.

At his feet.

Silent and obedient.

He responds to your submission with a chuckle, bringing his foot up to lightly press it against your throat. Against the metal charm on the collar worn around your neck.

“Good. Silent.” He remarks, listening to the soft whine that escapes your lips. He chuckles again, taking note of your state.

You can see the glint in his eyes. He’s aware of the fact that you’re lonely. Aware of the fact that he’s been neglecting you. That you’ve gotten bored of being in the cage.

But you also know that he’s done all of this on purpose.

Because you’re his pet.

He will do with you as he pleases.

He establishes such as he begins to trail his foot down your body. His touch is rough against your bare skin. He moves his foot down.

To your chest.

To your abdomen.

To your pelvis.

Until finally his foot settles upon your groin.

A faint noise escapes your lips. Whether or not the sound is one of protest is irrelevant to him.

You are his pet. He will pet you when he pleases, how he pleases.

Whether or not his actions are a reward or a punishment ultimately doesn’t matter. What matters is that he enjoys the power held over you.

He chuckles again as he begins to lightly grind his foot. He stimulates your genitals, coaxing a pathetic whimper out of you.

It doesn’t hurt. It’s not meant to hurt. It’s meant to fully establish his dominance.

He continues to grind his foot. Slowly. Persistently. He establishes his dominance by making you orgasm beneath the pressure of his heel.

No hesitance.

No shame.

He makes a mess of you and then he pulls his foot away. He keeps his foot held in the air.

“Clean it.” He commands, further reminding you of your place. You’ve made a mess. Now you’re expected to clean it.

Clean it you shall. You roll to your hands and knees.

He decides to be nice as he brings his foot to your face.

You submit to his rule.

The mess is cleaned from his foot through the use of your tongue. Still, you take your time. You take your time because he likes it, and because you like to please him.

He rewards you by stepping on you further. He presses his foot against your face and then presses your head to the ground. Not hard. But he doesn’t do it gently either.

“Now, no more barking. You won’t like it if I have to shut you up again.” He comments, pulling his foot off of you. He then leaves without another word.

Your final image of him being the dangerous glint in his eye as he turns back to look at you one last time, before he flips out the light.

You’re plunged into darkness as he shuts the door on his way out.

news from twitter: there's public fighting between supporters of R + J and not, led by some courageous individuals who hate J and also happen to ship Zeglyth lmao. It's interesting because I've been following these accounts for a while and it's been some time since there was chaos to this level. I even saw someone going "you don't even care about R, you just want her to get with T". Drama, and someone poured fuel on the fire by posting those screenshots of T defending R lol.

Someone also screenshotted J back in 2021 congratulating R on graduating which is... not a good look no matter how you spin it. i just can't believe that there are R fans who saw that post and the person rightfully going "this is sick" and still defend him? Something about how "it's their relationship and why are you judging", like they wouldn't be up and at arms for smaller things if this was anyone else.

If I were them and so desperate for a R notice that I'm willing to compromise my morals and pander, I would just ignore the post. Pretend it doesn't exist. Very entertaining but also mindboggling to me as to how brave they are in defending that with their whole chest.

Side note: I feel like R might be aware of this going on, since people have been outright quote tweeting on public accounts..wonder if this will affect what she posts for T's birthday, since he got dragged into the conversation.

The same Twitter drama…again? *sigh* that happens every few weeks. I remember seeing it back in Dec and rolling my eyes.

How did that start? Why do R + J even have supporters? They sound delusional every time they defend him.

Wait. I know why it started again. Because R declared her love for T yesterday and her supporters are using J to gain a like or comment from R. Very envious and jealous that mentioning T gets a notice from R now.

What does calling out J have to do with T? Regardless of T, J still met R when she was 17 years old lol. Shipping Zeglyth doesn’t change the facts of that situation.

Someone posted T defending her? LOL R/J supporters always shit their pants when those screenshots go viral

J congratulated R on graduating from hs? Ew. We should judge groomers. Doesn’t matter if R loves him, their relationship is nasty. I will never support them. I don’t care.

I mentioned this before but R’s fans are desperate for her attention. It’s very sad and pathetic the depths they will go to just to get a notice from her. Calling her “my best friend” she’s not your best friend. A proper friend wouldn’t want her with J.

R definitely knows tbh. She’s very active in her fandom and will probably like age gap discourse tweets again to be passive aggressive about it.

I hope R/J supporters don’t ruin Zeglyth for T’s bday! If we don’t get anything from R, it will because of them and I will be pissed.

It’s like J supporters are doing this purpose and trying to drive a wedge between Zeglyth. I hate them.

7 and 9 for death note?

For this

Oh, hello there ~ Give me a min while I gather my thoughts about tough questions from the get go lmao. I have controversial answers for them both, so 🙈. Bear with me, please.

For the purpose of these questions, and this ask game in general, canon is manga. Keeping that in mind, plus the fact I haven't read manga arc 2 in a longggg while, here's my answer:

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

This is tough. I don't particularly hate any character. But if there was a character I was neutral towards but started to dislike because of fanfics, specifically because of their portrayal in fanfics: Soichiro.

I started to dislike him when a lot of the fics I read treated him as some sort of morally righteous person whose viewpoint is never wrong. Soichiro Is Always Right TM. Soichiro Is Best Father TM.

And Fanon Soichiro? Thus ends up as the moral mouth piece of the writer/viewer. So. many. preachy dialogues.

This is the man who was willing to shoot a blank at his son at zero distance. Allowed for 64 fucking cameras in his son's room, including a camera in his home's bathroom. Decided to isolate himself at the same time as Light because heaven forbid he control his overwhelming emotions, stay out there and help prove his son innocent faster

Soichiro has layers. He is good at his job and not father of the year. A person can be both. His decisions... well, he could have done better. This man puts duty above all else.

He'd fit well as a Stark in Westeros. Without the family loyalty bit. Take that as you will.

9. worst part of canon

Several. The casual misogyny shown by all characters towards women. Including, amusingly enough, women themselves. L's 64 cameras in Light's room. Light's lines where he's just being a funny and goofy guy who talks about tickling others just the right way. L's death (I read halfway through second arc just waiting for L to come back. He didn't.)

However, the worst part of canon (for me. this is an important distinction), was Light's death. I hated Light's death in the manga. It was so pathetic. So raw. Pitiful. It made me pity Light.

And I never wanted to do that.

I would rather Light won and lived a sad, lonely, existence where he could never achieve the world he wanted despite all the people he's killed and all the sacrifices he's made. Irony at its finest. I would rather Light lived imprisoned, isolated and slowly forgotten for life, as cruel as it sounds.

But we get the manga death. And I pity Light Yagami, unable to comprehend the immorality of his actions, unable to even understand he had become the very thing he hated (and killed). He dies begging Ryuk not to kill him. In full view of the Task Force and SPK, with no privacy for dignity or shame.

So yes, I think the worst part is the ending. I think manga Light deserved better (or worse, depending on how you look at it).

I'm aware this is a controversial opinion, however that's how it is for me and others are allowed to have differing views <3

im bored so i'm gonna start drawing parallels between raison detre and gojos past arc 💀

i think the first part is getou's part and the second part is gojo's part and the third part is the two of them as a duo (parts of the third part I marked with red and blue as well but anything after purple is the third part)

(I'm sorry if the colors make it hard to read I didn't know how else to split the sections without it looking awkward)

Also this gets progressively sloppier as the song goes on so yeah..

漂うこの空気にストップ ただ矛盾を抱いている | Stop in this drifting air / I'm just harboring a contradiction

今更猛スピードでスタート切ったって | Even if I took off dashing from the start line now

どうやったって追いつきゃしないぜメーデー | I wouldn't be able to catch up no matter what I do, mayday

This part represents the rift Getou felt after Gojo who became the strongest (also the contradiction part matches Getou's wavering philosophy)

強がりに嫌気がさしている | I'm tired of acting tough

弱音も吐けないままでいる 弱音も吐けないままでいる I'm still unable to whine / I'm still unable to whine

Pretty self-explanatory lmaoo.

損得のものさしでぽいって捨てられ | Thrown away by the measure of profit and loss

I think this part would represent people like Riko and Mimiko + Nanako

よそいきの顔してまたやり過ごす | I go through it again with a nonchalant face

Although I put nonchalant here (lol google translate), it means to act polite and well-mannered. This is basically what Getou did; despite seeing the same bullshit play out over and over again, he told himself to bear the burden of being the strong and forced himself to stay grounded and act well-rounded as an ideal server of society.

存在もないようなもんだ 誰もわかっちゃいないや | It's like I don't exist / nobody gets it

This part relates to how most people aren't aware of his existence and importance of his job as a sorceror. Even more, nobody would understand the pain of his cursed technique; even to those who do know him.

感情論に縋ってなんて憚れば堕ちる | If I cling to an emotional argument and hesitate, I'll fall

Okay this part was hard to translate lmao. I wrote emotional argument, but the word basically means to go along with your emotions rather than hard sound logic. It can also be used to describe the manner of the action of an emotional or impulsive person. But anywho this is basically what Getou did. Look, it makes sense in my head but I don't know how to explain without writing up a whole essay. And anyways he fell.

だけど 夢に目覚めた君は何をみるの | But what do you, who awakened in a dream, see?

I think this sounds like Getou asking Gojo after the latter unlocked his full potential

最低な日を超えて 最善の成る方へ | Overcoming the worst days / Going toward the best way

どうしたんだ 期待なんてもうしてられないから | What's wrong / I can't keep having expectations anymore

その時をじっと待っている | I'm waiting patiently for that time

曖昧な視界に立って 際限のない方へ | Standing at the vague view / Toward the limitless

こんな気持ちさえも捨てきれないのなら | If you can't even throw away these feelings

混ざって混ざって生まれ変わるまで | Mixing / mixing / until we're reborn

終わらない夢を | This endless dream

These parts symbolize Gojo in a lot of ways, like how he was forced to move on toward a future he wanted to achieve with his friend but now has to achieve alone; chasing a dream that suddenly feels unclear to him as he realizes that despite the fact he was the strongest, he was unable to save the person closest to him. However, I also think this closely matches Getou trying to pursue an unclear dream that he justified himself upon after he massacred the village.

従わないことでしか 忌み嫌われることでしか | Only by being disobedient / only by being hated

Gojo acts against the higher-ups out of spite for what they didn't do for the students when they should've. He wants them to hate him; he wants them to remember him; he wants to get back at them and leave an impression. (This sounded better in my head).

焦りだけでは満たされない ありのままなど見せたくはないね | I don't want to show my true self that won't be satiated with only panic

ヘラヘラと今日も笑っている | I continue to laugh pathetically today

弱音も吐けないままでいる 弱音も吐けないままでいる I'm still unable to whine / I'm still unable to whine

This part is literally just Gojo in a nutshell lmao. He continues to laugh and go on, but really, he's just shattered on the inside.

詭弁に振る舞う 自己暗示さえ | Even the self-affirmation of sophistry

真実に拘る 必要もない | There's no need to fixate on the truth

裏切ってしまいそうな今日が かける言葉もないな | The today that seems like it might betray me / I don't have any words to give

金輪際もう一生なんて憚れば堕ちる | If I hesitate and say I'll never lead a life again, I'll fall

だけど 答えなど待っても君に会えやしないと | But even if I waited for an answer, I wouldn't be able to meet you

Okay lmfao this part is pretty complicated but I can say this part definitely--even if Gojo waited and waited to figure out the reason behind Getou's actions, in the end, it would be pointless, and either way he wouldn't be able to go back in time to right things. And either way, he wouldn't be able to meet the him that he knew and loved anymore. The self-affirmation part does tie in with Gojo making himself move on and tell himself he's the strongest, although personally, I don't believe he can see himself as the strongest without Getou by his side anymore.

相対 武器をとって 感情の鳴る方へ | Relatively we take up our arms and go in the direction our emotions ring

こんな気持ちさえも捨てきれないのなら | If you can't even throw away these feelings

混ざって混ざって生まれ変わるまで | Mixing / Mixing / Until we're reborn

終わらない夢を | This endless dream

I'm kinda too lazy to do this part lol

足りないものばかりの僕ら | Us, who are full of lacking things

The duo...

外見だけ取り繕った | I only patched up my appearance

続かないことに苛立った | I got irritated that things didn't continue

他人を見下し嗤ったんだ | I looked down on others and laughed

そうしないと もう僕の心は壊れてしまうから | If I don't, my heart will break

本当はもうわかってるんだ | But really, I already know

期待されない人生だ | I'm living a life where nobody expects anything from me

Getou reflecting on his past, but at the same time this works perfectly fine for Gojo as well

根拠もないあの日のような | Just like that day without evidence

The day Riko died, the day Getou chose his path, the day Getou and Gojo parted ways, etc.

真っすぐな瞳は | The straightforward eyes

だけど 夢に目覚めた君は何をみるの | But what do you, who awakened in a dream, see?

Getou questioning Gojo probably

最低な日を超えて 最善の成る方へ | Overcoming the worst days / Going toward the best way

どうしたんだ 期待なんてもうしてられないから | What's wrong / I can't keep having expectations anymore

その時をじっと待っている | I'm waiting patiently for that time

曖昧な視界に立って 際限のない方へ | Standing at the vague view / Toward the limitless

こんな気持ちさえも捨てきれないのなら | If you can't even throw away these feelings

混ざって混ざって生まれ変わるまで | Mixing / Mixing / Until we're reborn

This part I already explained earlier

終わらない夢を | This endless dream

その先の君を | [And] to you, ahead of it

THIS PART. THIS PART. IT'S LIKE A MESSAGE TO GETOU. crying

hmm feeling very weird abt my job lately.. I love the kids and it's a very easy and comfortable job for the kind of work that it is but I just always feel kept out of the loop on important stuff that everybody else seems to know. like the program I work with does summer camps and nobody told me that it might not happen this year until it was actually approved to happen. but all of my other coworkers were aware of this and nobody thought that maybe that was important info for me to have?? this itsnt even the only instance of me not being told work stuff that everyone else is made aware of

I'm also just so unclear about the rules? like for the kids? I've worked there since the beginning of the school year and there are Still things I don't know if the kids are allowed to do and not for lack of trying. this has bothered me from the beginning like. it doesn't make me appear to be a very responsible and reliable adult or authority figure to the kids when I'm always having to defer to my boss/co teacher about what is and is not allowed. I've literally never worked in an education/childcare environment where the rules were so unclear and flip floppy or where I have no input on classroom expectations

idk I just don't rlly feel like a respected or valued part of the team which is not only frustrating on a base level of like. that's not how you should feel at your job but also like... the kids pick up on that dynamic and take me and my instructions for them less seriously and I often don't feel listened to by them not because they're disrespectful kids or they don't like me but because they see me as less of an authority figure because thats how I'm treated by my boss. and it's like I Know that I'm not bad at my job. I am a good teacher and have literally never experienced this kind of thing before it's just so weird and uncomfortable

not to mention I always feel left out socially but like. that's true in most places. this sounds kind of pathetic lmao but I am used to not fitting in by now I've spent 21 years this way it would be silly of me to be surprised by it at this point but that doesn't make me feel any less lonely and down when I'm left out of social experiences everybody else gets to be a part of

these aren't recent things but I think w everything else going on in my life at the moment its all weighing on me more, and I definitely feel like my boss has been treating me differently and not as well ever since my mom died and I also get the impression that she's getting tired of me still not being able to do certain things because of my foot. idk it's like I came back from my week off after my mom passed and she's just been so much less friendly? I thought I was maybe making it up in my state of emotional distress but it's Only her being like this

but like... I don't want to make any dramatic career choices while going through a difficult part of my life personally and emotionally. I don't want to decide to not come back next year or work for a different summer camp while I'm Not Having A Good Time, but it's also hard to feel great at a job I don't feel like I fit in at while I'm also Not Having A Good Time. it's all made even harder by the fact that I rlly love my students and would feel sad not to see them again next year

If you're taking suggestions for whumpril still may I humbly suggest some sweet sweet mac guilt... "you're pathetic" with dennis like in the beggining stages of sepsis/poisoning/some other unfortunate effect of charlie work and mac being like :/ dude you're skipping out on the work and chores again and you're being pissy go fuck yourself not realising that it's way more than the flu or a bad day or whatever. he leaves dennis to get wasted at charlie's only to come back and find his man on the bring of death ❤️ guilty ambulance/hospital vigil ensues. I am so aware that I sound insane rn sorry.

If you dont feel like doing any dennis prompts I could also see "stoicism breaks" for the man the myth coop getting whumped! On the show everyone's pretty stoic so it would be so cool to see coop pulling something insanely stupid (and sacrifical probably) and everyone's professional facade being tested.

Anyways it's dealers choice...I think that's the right expression? Love your writing!

ahhhh please don't apologise for sounding insane (I don't think you do, I was giggling kicking my feet reading this ask lmao)

dealer's choice... how about both?

I'm gonna do both. :)

honestly if i could just live my entire life without leaving my house i'd be alright

Xiao - Yandere Profile

Y’all big horny for yaksha boi too??? Excellent.

Remember how I said Kaeya and Diluc were like a game on hard mode? Xiao is Dark Souls on the 6th stacked difficulty of New Game Plus.

I really like Xiao on an analytical level because he's an excellent candidate for the debate some have as to the nature of selfless vs selfish love... He's a good one to analyze for that debate bc holy fuck does this man have some of the most selfish, inconsiderate love out there. He's brutal as fuck. I feel like his would be such an interesting balance of wanting returned affection and being really obsessive, yet being so uncompromising and not really at all hesitant to wreck your shit. This is the longest one I've made, too, I had a lot of thoughts lmao.

Fun fact, when I first heard his name was Xiao I assumed it would be the hanzi for "dawn" since I've seen that used in Chinese given names sometimes... Nope, I'd never seen the hanzi for his name before so I looked it up and it's like an impish demon creature lol

I had a dilemma between to go for tsunyandere or kuuyandere, but I was in a dark content mood so I kinda went kuuyandere route.

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tws: mentions of mutilation (on reader), mentions of violence and torture (on rivals), kidnapping, Xiao is very lacking in empathy and borders on sociopathic behavior (which can be triggering to some people), mentions of misogyny bc I'm just gross like that, generally dark and awful

tws (below cut): noncon, more mentions of mutilation goddammit Xiao, forced submission, also generally dark and awful

This is probably the darkest one I've written, so, that's a fair warning.

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What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

Aware, over time, and very irritated by it, really. He's above... Feeling things. He changes with time. He starts off a bit irritated, flustered even, which is something he's never really experienced before. Honestly exemplifies the "boys are mean to you because they like you" trope, he will go out of his way to be harsher and colder towards you because how dare you make him... Feel things. He'll be exceptionally harsh in how he speaks to you, even more than others. But... once he realizes it drives you away, he'll realize that he actually wants you around him.

But that's the thing - Xiao doesn't normally go out of his way to do anything to anyone, really. He's cold and a bit aggressive because he's bothered by or just doesn't really enjoy people, but if they leave him alone, he leaves them alone. You're different - he feels a weird, uncomfortable feeling in your presence, but he still wants your presence anyway. It's a lot of new sensations for him, and it's overwhelming. So many new feelings.

One, he doesn't understand why his stomach flutters when you smile at him, why chills run down his spine when you accidentally brush your hand across his. Well, he understands what it usually means for humans - but he's not human, surely, there's no way he could possibly experience that same "love" humans do, right?

Love is horrible after all - he's seen how humans obsess over it, how much tragedy it can bring to their lives, and, in particular, how much of a fool of themselves humans often make when "in love", especially the men.

He thinks he's above the human feelings, so he'll deny it to himself at first. It will likely be some kind of breaking point for him, particularly one in which you're in danger. Normally, he couldn't care less about people in danger - if someone isn't strong enough to protect themselves, they die, that's just how the world works. But he sees you shoved down, another human looming over you with murderous intent in their eyes, he sees the fear on your face and the tears streaming down and something in him snaps and bursts and gives way to the intense emotions he's tried to shove down. He'll go wild, and make quick work of the offender. And you'll thank him for saving you of course, even if the display was a bit horrifying to see.

It's not only that intense nervousness in the others presence, but an enjoyment of their presence. It's so contradictory and he hates it - he feels so nervous, so jittery around you, yet at the same time, something about your presence, your smiles, your voice is addictive to him and he needs more of it. He enjoys spending time with you - a new sensation.

Over time, as he becomes aware of how he feels, he becomes less flustered, more stone-faced and matter of fact about it. He accepts that he feels a sense of affection, now his concern is how to handle it. He just has no idea how to begin going about it. Does he just try to suppress it? Act on it? He acknowledges the possibility of rejection, what then? Of course, rejection wouldn't make him stop wanting you with him, it wouldn't even really deter him, but it would make things more difficult than if you accepted it. He spends a while contemplating, just trying to make sense of it all.

He ends up laying awake at night with you in his mind - it's pathetic, it irritates him. No human is important enough to occupy his mind. And yet, even if he tries, he can't stop. And, as much as it disgusts him, he finds himself feeling very physical sensations when thinking about you. That's the most irritating part, to him. He's always viewed humans' drive to copulate as disgusting, and really a pathetic weakness - again, he's seen the absolutely foolish things human men do and the extensive lengths they go to for just a spare crumb of sex. So the first few times he ends up getting a physical reaction to those late night thoughts, he'll try to ignore the throbbing and just go about his night, but eventually it starts to get painful. That's the point at which he decides he can't just sit around and do nothing.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

Unavoidable. But not the absolute fastest. He's far too confused by his feelings at first, and doesn't understand why he has the urge to do so. He'll experiment, spending time around you, trying to figure himself out. His prideful tsundere nature comes out then -- it's not like he enjoys your presence, no. He feels something very strange about you, and one of the possibilities in his mind is that perhaps he's being drawn to you because his subconscious perceives you as an enemy, perhaps. Something in him knows that you're up to no good, so he has to follow you, maybe. Those reasons are far more likely than actually enjoying being around you, he thinks.

As he comes to understand it better and is forced to acknowledge that he feels an affection for you, he begins to feel a darker urge. One of the things that forces him to recognize said affection is how much it irritates him to see you talk to others. He rationalizes this, as it is perfectly normal for humans to feel jealousy, isn't it? ... But are humans this upset when they see their beloved talk to their own family? Is it normal? Is it a thing with just the males, and that's why he feels that way? Surely the humans don't get this upset, or else they wouldn't let their beloveds have friends and speak to others, right? He doesn't really feel guilt for the urges, but he does feel bothered by the notion of having some abnormal desire, wonder if there's something wrong with him.

Well, he starts thinking back to history, and all the things he's witnessed, and that gives him... an idea. Teyvat has been around a long time. There have been several cultures and societies that did keep lovers... restrained. Confined to a house... forbidden from speaking to others... and that idea sounds nice, he thinks. Back in those days, no one would bat an eye at his desire to keep you away from the world, right? So really, it's not abnormal or weird at all. Things just change with time, but there's nothing abnormal about him, it's perfectly normal to want to prevent you from ever speaking to anyone else ever again. Sure, those cultures never went that far, but... it's the same idea, right?

So, he decides, there's nothing wrong with him, and in that case, he doesn't have any guilt or concern for your desires to hold him back. He's another one to take a fairly barbaric route -- he'll be one to show up while you sleep, clamp a hand over your mouth, gag you and tie you up, before leaving right out your window. He'll find an isolated, quiet, well-hidden place to reside, one with an enclosed, windowless room to keep you confined.

He doesn't like it, but he's not completely lacking in understanding human psychology. He wouldn't like to be in your shoes, wouldn't like if someone did to him what he's going to do to you, so he understands why you'll be upset, he prepares for it, even. He's not a delusional. So, from the beginning, he's already planning out how to make you compliant and love him. He settles on a simple tactic: utilize what he knows to force your human nature to love him.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

Once you do get kidnapped, it's pretty tight security. Kind of like Albedo, he'll take you far away from society. Again, he's not super concerned with your desire on the matter, since this is about keeping you with him, it's about his imperatives. He doesn't really want to harm you, though, so there is a slight consideration. He's stuck on a balance of wanting to keep you agreeable and obedient, but keeping you confined is most important, so he'll try to keep it a bit comfortable. He'll get you a nice bed, very soft things. He's so nice, he'll even get you leather cuffs instead of metal ones. But you will be getting restrained, and no amount of begging will get him to take them off. He'll also give you nothing to do, and probably nothing to wear. Clothes are a waste and totally unnecessary when no one but him sees you. And the boredom will make you compliant. You'll be so unbearably bored that talking to him will be like a privilege. You'll start to look forward to it. You'll bond with him. He'll be your only source of mental stimulation. He's smart enough to figure that out when he's in the planning stages of your confinement, and already has this planned out.

Because he... struggles to feel high amounts of empathy when it's about what he wants, it's doubtful he'll ever really lighten up without incentive. Sure, he could lighten up on your restraints, but why should he? Sure, it would alleviate your suffering, but it would present the slightest chance of an escape. Your comfort isn't worth the insecurity and worry he'd have throughout the day. Why would he be so foolish as to feel that it was?

Escape attempts are an ultimate transgression to Xiao. He understands your stubbornness and anger to the extent that they don't hurt him too much, but an escape attempt is one of the few things you can do that make him feel genuine hurt. You won't get away for long, he will hunt you down in no time and he will ensure you're discouraged from ever attempting that again. He's not very hesitant to be brutal. Really, he doesn't want to hurt you just for the sake of it, but he knows how powerful fear and pain are. He'll make sure you are strongly dissuaded from another attempt. If you're, miraculously, brave enough to try again, he'll have to take a step further and make sure you can't.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

Don't. He's not stupid, he tells you, the moment you try anything. And you really, really, really should be trying to avoid making him mad. Honestly, if you're at this point, you'd have to be either incredibly unafraid of pain, or just crazy to try and do anything that could result in his anger. He'll shut it down almost immediately, and tell you exactly that.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He knows you need food and all that, so he'll generally get you whatever you want to make for yourself. He's got a limited list of things he's willing to eat so you'll quickly find yourself asking for the privilege of getting different foods please I'm begging you for something other than almond tofu, and he'll get you whatever you ask for, at least in that regard. He's not going to starve you or anything. But you'll find it's probably one of the only things you get much of a choice on.

If you want any relief from the harsh restraint and boredom, you have one option: succumb.

No amount of disobedience or disagreeableness will have him letting up on you. You might think you can hold out and be stubborn long enough to get him to cave, but you'd be wrong. You will crack before he does, and he knows it. He'll simply punish your disobedience, and wait out a bit more. And wait, and wait, and wait, because you won't last long. It's inevitable that you will succumb to him, start to crave him, start to be sweet and affectionate, and bond with him. At that point, maybe he'll let you walk around - hey, getting your muscles back to normal from the atrophy can be a bonding activity. And he might give you some approved tasks or books or the like. But at the first sign of a regression, the first sign of disobedience, the first sign of rejection from you, that will be gone, and you'll have to earn it back, starting back at square one.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

Don't run away. Obey everything he says.

He doesn't make a rule against fighting him, really, and he doesn't need to. You'll be far too terrified of him to try, and even if you did, it would be like swatting a fly, he could disarm and incapacitate you in seconds.

And now, we get into one of the darker yanderes. Once again, Xiao doesn't really get emotions too well, and doesn’t understand his own all that much. His brain thinks in actions and results. If you're trying to run away, he'll simply have to make it so that you can't... ever again. He is one of the most likely yanderes to be open to truly, permanently incapacitating you to a severe degree to keep you with him. He understands why you're upset, but surely you knew the consequences, right? You tried to run away, it only makes sense that he would do something like this, you should understand that, even if you don't like it. You're foolish to try and talk him out of it, what, do you think he's going to be persuaded by you crying? If you were that opposed to it, you shouldn't have tried to run. Really, he doesn't understand why you humans do things as if there's no consequences.

Xiao... doesn't feel guilt. When it's something unintentional, something he didn't mean to do, he can, but when it's about what he wants? There's none, really. He usually goes on what works best for him, and for the most part, that's keeping you happy. But when your happiness goes against keeping you with him, his imperative takes priority. You'll get over it eventually, and he'll help you. He can carry you wherever you need to go, you don't need to walk.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

Eek.

Yeah it won't be pretty. He gets mad about rivals, and he perceives everyone as one. He's another one that doesn't really distinguish between romantic rivals and rivals for attention - your family and friends are just as much of a problem as any love interests, because you smile at them, you pay attention to them, you like them, and just that knowledge makes an unbearable rage boil inside him.

He's desensitized to violence, and doesn't really understand how it affects normal people - he won't think of how it might affect you to see it, so slaughtering people in front of you comes naturally to him. He's actually one of the ones who might get angry enough to make it slow, making sure they know what they did wrong, even if that consisted of simply being a stranger who smiled at you. If you react negatively, he won't really understand. He has some, but doesn't possess a lot of empathy. He'll chalk it up to you being a hysterical, emotional human with your incapacitating aversion to violence. He's glad he doesn't have such a strong aversion. Would make his job rather difficult.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

He's pretty easily set off. He gets frustrated because he thinks you're being unnecessarily difficult, and frankly he's very used to getting his way with things immediately. In his life, most of the things he wants are either given to him very easily, or are easily obtainable with a simple exertion of violence. Usually he can just, well, kill and slaughter and maim his way to any result he desires. This is one of the first issues he's dealt with that violence won't solve. Well... maybe not the extent he's used to. But nonetheless, perhaps a bit of controlled violence can solve his problems, at least to an extent.

His anger is, as you can imagine, terrifying. Sure, he'll reassure you that he won't kill you, but you can't get out of your head the images of the things you've seen him do by that point, the people you've undoubtedly seen die and suffer at his hands. He snarls and speaks in a deep, booming voice when he's at his angriest, and it's enough to make you panic. If he's angry enough, he knows he can't be around you, because he fears hurting you further than he means to, so he'll likely leave. If it's enough that he feels he can control it, though, it's not pretty. He's one to hold something in his hands and squeeze it to alleviate anger so hard it breaks. Just hope that doesn't happen to be your hand, arm, shoulder, or any other part of your person.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

He doesn't... really care? I'm tempted to say far below, but really, the whole concept of relative value of humans and status and the like holds no meaning to him. He thinks it's foolish and pointless to even ponder such things.

As for his superiority in certain things, it's different. He's smarter than you. He's stronger than you. He's faster, he's more perceptive, he's more capable, he's wiser, he's more skilled. These things are just facts, they are the undeniable reality, he thinks. However, he doesn't really assign these things as having any ties to the relative value of an individual, and in his mind, humans don't really, either. Didn't they prioritize the lives of children? Children are far lesser in every way, but humans treat them as most important, even if they rightfully see them as inferior in every way. So it's the same with him, he thinks. In every field, you're inferior, but that doesn't really matter, worth and relative position are worthless human ideas.

As for treatment, however, he treats you as lower, which is all that really matters. He wants obedience and submission, and he'll get it, no matter what extent he has to go to.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

He's in the middle - one of the ones that would LIKE for you to love them, but in the end, even if they feel like you never will, they still want you anyway. He'll never stop trying, though.

He's got a lot of pride and wouldn't resort to groveling and desperately trying the way some would. Like a few others, he kinda automatically feels like he deserves the things he wants, including your love. But his unfamiliarity with human emotions leads him to be a little confused and unable to read you. He knows humans play "hard to get," and may assume that's what you're doing. And he recognizes that by kidnapping you, he is removing you from your friends and family, so he concludes that you're only mean to him because you're mad. And anger settles down with time, right? He also knows that, even if humans don't like someone, if they're forced to spend time around them, they'll form a bond. So what he concludes is that simply time is needed. Time to let anger simmer down, time to forget about those others, time to inevitably come to depend on him.

With his experimentation, what he discovers is that even if you aren't affectionate, he is still happier with your presence than without. So he'll keep you no matter what, he decides. You'll come around eventually. And gradually, even if it's ever so slow, you will. You will, no matter how hard you may fight it, the effects of such isolation are ultimately inevitable.

Some yanderes might be upset by the notion that they have to mentally deteriorate their darling to obtain love - they want you to love them "organically" and feel like love born from mindbreak and isolation isn't "real." You might think he'd be like that, due to his tendency to be prideful, but he's actually not. Xiao doesn't understand emotions well enough to distinguish little differences like that. Sure he had to use a strategy, but it's still love, isn't it? It's the same thing, so why should how it came about matter? It took a little bit of extra work, is all. And although he won't say so, he thinks you're worth it.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Is somewhat reluctant to confess to you and may try to come up with some other reason as to why he did it, but it's kinda obvious when he's so concerned about you, so blushy and flustered in the beginning and the way he runs his hands through your hair when he thinks you're asleep. But yeah, initially he might try to think up some way to explain why your kidnapping is for some other weird complex reason he made up, and not just because he really REALLY wants you all to himself.

He's also very matter-of-fact about things. He says things with a straight face, no matter how horrifying, sweet, or inappropriate they may be. Doesn't matter if he's finally confessing his love, talking about how he wants to keep you locked away forever, or threatening to break your legs, it'll all generally be carried with the same facial expression and tone of voice. The only difference is the eye contact and slight blush if it's one of the former.

You may be able to catch moments of vulnerability, especially late-stage, months into your new life. If you've been highly affectionate, and he trusts you, he might seek some reassurance every now and then, in a soft, quiet voice, for a few precious moments of gentleness that don't come very often.

As aforementioned, Xiao has little to no sense of empathy nor guilt when it comes to obtaining the things he desires. What he does feel is wanting you to be happy... because it makes him feel good inside. In a way, you could say his love is incredibly selfish, because it's entirely about his happiness when it comes down to it. Normally, seeing you happy makes him happy, so your imperatives line up. And he's willing to maybe change some things to make you happier -- ok, fine, sure, he won't torture them to death, he'll just kill them. But he has limits to how much he'll compromise for you. Ultimately, when your imperatives don't align with his, he won't even consider yours for a mere moment. His brain just can't really consider anything but acting for his own desires. When he gets mad at people for hurting you, it's because it's an insult to him. It's part of why he's one that will settle for having you - ultimately, what he wants matters more than your happiness... but that's because he wants you, and loves you so, so much, you know? Don't think it's not love, though. It's incredibly selfish, self-serving, and inconsiderate, but it's hard to say it's not love.

Somewhat relating to the above, he realizes pretty quickly you're likely afraid of him, especially after what you've undoubtedly witnessed by that point. He doesn't want that, really. He wants a healthy level of fear, just enough to avoid running away, but he doesn't like seeing you cry and tremble because you're so afraid of his brutality. He doesn't help, though, because he thinks you fear death, and death alone, and in his lack of understanding, he will go through a very specific list of exactly what he will do, which frankly would only serve to make things worse.

"It's alright... I won't kill you, you know. You're foolish if you don't understand the difference... They only died because they wanted to take you away from me. You're the reason they died, so, I wouldn't kill you... I've already decided what to do at certain points. If you try to run away once or twice, I'll just break your legs, and if you try a third time, I can just take your legs off. That should prevent any further attempts, so I have no reason to kill you. So you shouldn't be so upset... don't look so afraid all the time. What? No, I don't mean your whole legs... just at the feet. Why are you still crying? I can just take off one if it's that upsetting... It's only if you run away."

You should probably know that he doesn't make empty promises, either.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

Boy has no idea what to do. He's only ever jerked off and always feels disgusted when he does, he only has anatomical knowledge of female bodies from medical diagrams he's seen once or twice.  Not that he'll tell you that. But you'll know, I mean, once he forces your legs open he's just staring in both awe and confusion, probably just sits there for a moment slightly flustered because?? Where's he supposed to put it in?? How does he do this? He'll figure it out, but it might take a few rough thrusts of him just rutting against you.

Drive goes from non existent to highish, he's got what you call a reactive sexuality. Really, he used to just jerk off only to relieve the buildup, because he found it gross whenever it would happen in his sleep. Reactive sexualities are when a person doesn't have a super high drive on their own, but will react to stimuli from persons or sights around them, and will get significantly higher when around someone they love. Before, he never had anything to react to, so he rarely got horny, but now? He has you. And you... Trigger some reactions.

And that being said, he's so unfamiliar with horniness and sex that it's constantly an exploration process for him too. He'll spend some time just... learning. Touching here and there, figuring out what makes your breath hitch and toes curl. It's a fascinating thing to him, really.

He doesn't talk about it much, nor during, he just kind of... acts. You don't get much of a verbal warning, he'll just kind of pick you up and move you around to however he wants.

Pretty decently sized, but isn't aware of it. He hasn't had the opportunity to be around too many other people to know. If you try to tell him it's too big for you, he'll just be incredibly confused, isn't your body literally made to be able to do this? He's actually not going to get particularly smug or anything, he just sees it as an irritation that you're so reluctant and try to fight because of it, but he does like watching you convulse and squirm once he's already in you.

He's actually not that much of a sadist, so much as he likes power. Pain is par for the course, it's a part of every aspect of life and he's essentially desensitized to it. But power and control, now that does something for him.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Not particularly concerned with it. Once again, he's decided to utilize what he knows to maximize your acceptance and love. He knows that orgasms release a bunch of feel-good chemicals, that they cause bonding, that they make you more complacent, and, for the sake of submission, that it'll humiliate you and make you unable to really defy him, as he can hold it over your head, and with time you'll accept him. Over time, he knows, you'll come to crave any physical touch you can get. And while he's more than willing to hold you and sleep curled up with you, he'd be lying if he said this wasn't his favorite and preferred form of physical affection.

Besides, he's been fighting off the urges for forever at this point, he's not going to wait around. Pretty much will be ready to do it as soon as you wake up, and you'll probably already be bound up and lacking any clothes by the time you do. He's not very hesitant. It's yet another case of wanting what he wants and getting what he wants. He's one that will bound you up pretty heavily, hands tied above your head, legs pulled back and tied to the headboard, so it's not like you can do much against it anyway. He understands your hesitancy, be it out of anger or fear, but he's also hard and fast enough that you can't really form a lot of words, so it's not too discouraging.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

He's not really familiar with any at first, and he has to experiment around. You would think normally an inexperienced boy would want the female to take the lead, but noooo, he's way too proud for that.

Oral fixation

The most shameful one to him. It's disgusting, he thinks, it's unnatural, it goes against the very purpose of sex to procreate, but he knows it exists, he's heard of how it goes and God when you talk and smile he desperately wants to see your mouth wrapped around his dick. When you're laying under him he just has an uncontrollable urge to just buy his face between your legs and lick at everything he can, and eventually he'll cave to both of those urges. The latter will be very unprompted and unanticipated, probably you're not even getting it on at the moment - something like you're sleeping, you're just laying there, your legs open a bit and he just rips off whatever you have on and stuffs his head between your legs - he's not skilled by any means, but works with such an intensity and speed that you'll cum on his face anyway.

If he's mad, he can get rough with the former. Hearing you gag and choke, watching the tears run down your face helps satisfy his anger quite a bit. Unfortunately for you, he can last quite a while, and will grab your hair and force your face down, or really, he's one to lay you on the edge of a bed on your back and really fuck your throat out. And he won't let you spit it out either -- he'll hold your mouth shut with his hands and force you to swallow every little bit.

Finger-fucking

He was once told the trick of putting your fingers inside and curling them, and that's an easy instruction to follow. He'll try it out, and once he watches how it makes you gasp and whimper, he'll get addicted to it, moving his fingers harsh and fast. He likes it because he's not too distracted by his own physical sensations, other than the throbbing hard-on, and can really take in your faces, noises, and really watch you come undone. As an added bonus, he's definitely not going to just leave it at that, no, and he discovers very quickly you're particularly sensitive immediately after one orgasm, reacting with extra loud squeals and harsh clenching when he presses against your extremely sensitive insides. And he likes that quite a bit.

D/S dynamic / bondage

It helps him restore his damaged pride from his embarrassment over the fact that he even has sexual urges in the first place. He deserves to be worshipped, he deserves to have you on your knees in front of him. In particular, he loves to give you commands, see you follow through with them. It's empowering. It's reassuring. Probably the type to want to be called master. He feels its appropriate. And he'd definitely be one to make it an all-the-time, 24/7 sort of dynamic too. He can be gentle about it, too, and will reward you for being well-behaved. The dynamic, the rewards, the praise, all makes you all the more slowly, but surely, succumbing to him, giving in, and finally accepting him.

Tying you up prevents you from moving around too much, and that's the initial reason for it, but he realizes very very quickly that something about seeing you that way is very, very pleasing to him. It gives him a sense of power and control in addition to what he already has established. It also helps alleviate a bit of his nervousness surrounding the whole thing. When you're all tied up, probably blindfolded too, he can just run his hands up and down, stare at your body, figure out what's where and see everything without you squirming around.

Masturbation instruction/voyeurism

Something about just watching you touch yourself drives him up the wall with horniness. It also helps give him an idea of what the fuck he’s supposed to do (again, not that he’ll tell you that). But more importantly, it’s yet another control thing. He won’t just let you go at it, no, he’ll be very specific with his instructions, and expects you to follow them perfectly. He’ll make you edge yourself and even overstimulate yourself, demanding you keep going even after you cum, and even if you can’t, he’ll just swat your hand aside and do it himself.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

He's... Not sure if it's even possible? If so, the whole idea makes him feel a bit odd. Small little beings, ones that look like him, ones that share his blood? The whole concept is so strange. He'd probably want to find out if such a thing is even possible, considering your differences, but he would likely be somewhat opposed to it, as it feels weird to him. He would become more accustomed to the idea with time, though. And one thing he neglects to remember, even if he knows, is that you have to pull out to avoid that, and he definitely doesn't.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Overstimulation is a go-to, as is forced orgasms. Tying back to his finger-fucking tendencies, he learns how sensitive orgasms make you, and how torturous it can be. Even if he can't keep going, after he fucks you a few times, he can still go with his mouth, fingers, over and over and over again, until you're sobbing and begging from the overstimulation. He thinks there's something weirdly beautiful about how something can bring you so much pleasure and pain, be so good yet so unbearable. Seeing you cry while you convulse, hiss from the pain when you're so sensitive that even the lightest touches are painful. Just watching it gives him an electrifying feeling. As a bonus, it will just make you more bonded, the overload of the positive chemicals in your body will bind you to the very person inflicting such a torture on your body. How ironic.

He'd be one for impact pain too, potentially with his hands, but he's one that's more likely to invest in something like a riding crop, or just a belt. He likes the fear of it, too, seeing how you wince and whimper just by hearing it crack before he even does anything to you.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Hips and thighs. He likes grabbing, pulling you back onto him. Running his hands over them. He likes that when he's rough enough, his hands leave bruises on them. It's really pretty to him, and just an ever so blatant reminder of your place... to him, and, he knows, to you.

Chapter 312 - Flashback time to Muzaka visiting,,,

- ...Muzaka knocking on the door made the building rumble? I'd ban him for trying to destroy my house if I was Raizel.

Chapter 313 - Raizel's bleeding from his ears now too... rip his eardrums.

- Well if Raizel's brother had succeeded without Raizel learning of his plan, there indeed would have been much fewer problems for him lmao. Definitely wouldn't have to fight Muzaka over a daughter who would never have been born, much less killed, yeah?

- I think being severely injured to the point it's obvious that you'll die soon is more than just being 'a little weary' but you do you Raizel.

Chapter 314 - Karias keeping a flower pinned to his suit,,, yeah

Chapter 315 - ...Rael refers to Roctis as the traitor that killed Regis and Seira's fathers. I guess it's just because he was one of the traitors and thus would have been aware of Zarga being in charge of the massacre? Still... Doesn't sound quite right.

- I'm happy that Raizel appreciates the children but the traitors had that 'noise and excitement' of life around you way before they ever did 🙄

- Oh, the later stone ww throne was likely just bcos the artist stopped doing details...

Chapter 316 - Rael being possessive over Seira makes me wanna puke.

- Karias is super respectful towards Raizel. Kinda wild compared to him with Raskreia haha.

Chapter 317 - Ah shit, got reminded that I do ship Lunarkx3rd. Nothing like enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers on constant loop <3 Or maybe it's more accurate to say they're enemies who divorced so that they could be lovers? Like yeah makes no sense either but :)

Chapter 318 - Rude, how would Karias know who you guys are, Lunark? You should be glad he guessed you were Elders at all.

- Also 3rd agreeing with Karias and being impressed by him,,, yeah I ship them too haha. Obviously not both at once, that doesn't work.

- Lunark's clothes mysteriously disappeared again,,, I guess she flexed them off.

- Kentas and the other non union werewolves wearing Union outfits is so annoying ugh.

Chapter 319 - Kentas keeps on talking about being manly and my hackles are fucking raised.

Chapter 320 - 3rd got impressed again <3

- His eye lasers are cool.

- The lord has come to save her younger brother!!! The way she's shielding him... I always love this expression of hers.

Chapter 321 - Lunark and 3rd's wordless conversation is so confusing like it's not telepathy so are they just that good at conveying messages with their eyes?

Chapter 323 - GRANDPA!!!

Chapter 324 - Gechutel asking why he should be embarrassed when the traitors already dragged the nobles' name and reputation through the mud,,, yeah mood. And Kentas going "wow he's weird. Must be cos he's so old"

- Rael being freaked and Regis going "why tf would the lord come to arrest you. You aren't that important" sjjsksks. Darius Siriana, you have a comrade.

- Raskreia calling Raizel pathetic <3

Chapter 325 - She stabbed him🥺💘💝💖💗💓💞💕❣

- Raizel has eyebags,,, he matches ur-Hulda now <3 But yeah I hc that Muzaka's actions later didn't really help Raizel unlike Ragnarok because he needs lifeforce/lifespan, not vitality which is basically just energy. So he can be more active for the lifespan he has left and he's not in as much pain, but it hasn't actually been extended. Meanwhile Ashoka straight up extracted life force from his soul and created the second Ragnarok so it worked.

Chapter 326 - No no Raizel is right in this case, Raskreia. Idc if mvp lord left it for Raizel, he was wrong to do so.

- Ashoka's work ethic truly is amazing as he says though... Still working to help from beyond the grave... Let the guy sleep.

Chapter 327 - THEY SACRIFICED AT LEAST 1650 UNION AGENTS TO GET MUZAKA??? WTF CROMBEL

- The embarrassment I would feel if I was there as Raizel introduced Raskreia to ramyeon while everyone else spectated... Better to die.

Okay I'm stalling in working on my fic lmao but actually one of the things I still most appreciate about Breaking Bad (apart feom its AMAZING cinematography) was that it is absolutely not at all intended to be conpetence porn. Like those moments HAPPEN and they get the most attention from outside but they're such stand outs because the show really is not like that 90% of the time. The show is incredibly aware that its main characters are a chemistry teacher with cancer and a high school dropout who spent most of his time smoking weed. They're not badasses and they know fuck all about high level drug trafficking stuff. When they have a genius plan and it all goes wrong, it's not because they were extra next level genius and this supposed failure is also part of the plan, it's because they're in over their heads and the world is inherently chaotic and unforgiving.

And that gives it all a very... black comedy sounds too light, but a subtly farcical tone, like Fargo. The overtly funny moments are indeed rare but there's a fuckron of kinda lowkey hilarious shit, and it's not unintentional.

Like I really can't overstate how much Walter is clearly a bad person and how uncritical you have to be not to realise that. He's honestly pretty pathetic as a person! He's sad and unreasonable! He's not OPENLY laughable because there are many reasons to sympathise with him too but they don't change what a fundamentally not nice person he is.

So it's just, this absurd premise, and this main character, and this odd couple pairing, and this chaotic and unknowable world that just fucks shit up and accidentally propells these people to the top...

Idk - on some level, I think Breaking Bad is actually a genuinely funny show. Or maybe just - self aware? It's like a train wreck in slow motion, but it knows exactly what it's doing?

Anyone who thinks it's just a generic Straight White Man power fantasy is just as uncritical as the guys who think Walter White is a hero. It's just as much a subtle parody of those shows. I mean, who actually gets to come out of it possibly happy someday in the end? The drug addicts Walt was trying to exploit, his wife, and his disabled son. (But not Jesse's latina girlfriend and yeah that sucks ngl :( )

Can you do headcanons for our dear crusty boy Tomura or our burnt toast Dabi comforting their s/o on her period? Apologies if this request is gross I'm just cramping up bad and want the baddies for comfort 🥺

I did decide to leave this in gender neutral/Non-binary. I also did both because I adore the villains with every fiber of my being! : )

This request wasn’t gross at all we’re only human. (Though I do imagine the boys would be a bit grossed out lmao) Cramps are the worst : (  I hope you feel better anon!

Warnings: Mentions of the Menstrual Cycle, swearing (but that’s nothing new at this point)

Words: 764

Dabi-

Would be very confused at first on why the hell your mood changesso fast. It’s like you are a mix of Toga and Shimura and he hates it

Realizes what the problem is when Toga has to painfully pointit out for him

He immediately feels bad for being a bitch to you but in hisdefense, you should’ve told him you were on your period

He may act like a big baddie but his heart breaks uponseeing you in a fetal position in a pathetic desperate attempt to ease thecramps

And… now you are moaning from the pain. Usually, that wouldbe a turn on but not now

Is it supposed to be that bad?

Again he feels like total shit when he realizes how bad yourpain really is. He’ll still keep up his façade of the big bad wolf

“Stop your fucking whining.”

Most definitely sounds harsh and/or sarcastic but is oh sogentle when handling you. His actions contradict his words as his palm landsgently on your head to tousle your hair

He leaves but comes back shortly with a bag of stolen goods.Tampons, pads, pain relievers, and your favorite snack

He may be a badass but he’s one who would do anything foryou. So this really was no biggie for him. He wouldn’t let you suffer maybe

Sets the bag of stolen goods within your reach beforejoining you on the bed

It’s cuddle time and of course, that means he’s going to usehis hand to help relieve your cramps. He’ll be careful since he’s fully awareof how harmful the heat can be

“You good now?”

He’s totally a teddy bear for you in these terrible moments.He would probably bask in the fact he contributes to helping you

Though he has his sweet moments he would also be a total jackasstease

“You want me to get you what? Where is that?” or “You wantmy hand for what exactly?” All with that stupid smirk of his

20/10 best jackass s/o for comfort

Shigaraki Tomura-

Honestly, he would probably have figured it out before youknew

He may be childish but he’s a smart cookie

Anyway, the moment you start to groan and whimpering withdiscomfort in your sleep is the moment he knows what to do

Without waking you up he would go straight to Kurogiri andorder the said male to buy the necessary products for you

In the meantime, Tomura would probably grab you somenot-so-healthy food and a drink for when you wake up

He already has his gaming set-up all ready to go so you canbe lazy with him

Since he’s constantly in a chaotic mood, he’s surprisingly carefulto not add to your changing mood swings.

As soon as Kurogiri is back he places the stuff somewhereyou would see it and immediately hops onto his beanbag chair to game

It would honestly be a surprise to see him so caring butonly you would do that to him

After situating yourself you would join him on the beanbagchair, desperate for a loving touch to which he hesitantly and is extremely cautiouswhen he does give in

The safest way for either of you to cuddle would be youin-between his legs or cuddling into his side because if you dare mess uphis gaming mode you will be royally fucked

If he notices that you are still in pain he’ll pause hisgame to throw a couple of blankets your way

“Blankets are comfort material, right?”

If you say no he’ll disintegrate them out of a slight fit offrustration they do hit him out of nowhere

While your whole ordeal lasts for a few days, he’ll probablybe dead quiet around the League so he can try to suppress his soft side they knowhe has for you. He’s having a tantrum while you are dying on the inside

Toga and Kurogiri most definitely give him advice and tellhim how you would be feeling during these times

He acts like he doesn’t want to know or that this wholething grosses him out but he would be listening very intently

Your safe haven would literally be his room that probablyhas not seen the light of day in who knows how long. He’d take you there assoon as he notices a bad shift in your mood or if you look too exhausted or inpain to be dealing with the others

50/10 best creepy s/o for comfort

Grace & Janis

Grace: OMG you and the new boy! 💘🙌 Grace: love that for you babes Janis: lol thanks Grace: 😂😂 k yeah you're busy Grace: I will need that goss tho Janis: dumb and dumber will make up their own to fill in the blanks, I know Grace: LOL Grace: obvs but like Janis: you want the actual truth to spread, yeah Janis: you're alright, soz you won't get that cred Grace: UM rude I want the truth to know Grace: You're MY sister, hello Janis: 👌👌 Janis: hey Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: ugh just say he's boring whatever Grace: I know the feeling Janis: leave the games to your mates, and the jumping to the wrong conclusions, yeah, we ain't playing that shit Janis: why would I bother if he was, like every other cunt here Grace: Duh I'm only here cos of Leon Grace: so unbothered too Janis: 'course you are Grace: I unbae-d him hun, obvs am Janis: yeah, so you're here just for the fun Janis: cool Grace: I'm here to show him what he's missing so yeah Janis: 'cos you 'unbae-d' him Janis: defs the actions of someone very unbothered and not a girl who got dumped and is seeing how fast he gets a new bitch, and who Janis: count me as not it, yeah 👍 Grace: not even! I know he's seeing Kaya and like I said, idc Janis: well then, not showing him nothing then, he don't miss you Grace: OMG this is so yesterday Grace: here for your 😍 not my 🙄 Janis: are we? Janis: I'm here to pass PE Grace: not what the new boy's here for tho Janis: yeah, not in my class Grace: I know Grace: he takes art Janis: lol why do you know that Janis: you don't Grace: why DON'T you know that? Grace: 🔎👀 Janis: not out here doing a survey Grace: I hope not Grace: keep it sexy honey Janis: sexy Janis: you sound like a nan Janis: a weird one, at that Grace: 🤞 you don't look like one Grace: what ARE you even wearing rn OMG Janis: yeah, 'cos I'm the one that thinks a cardigan is stylish Janis: my pjs? Grace: 😱😱😱😱 Grace: YOU'RE JOKING Janis: it's not particularly funny but Janis: knee slap away Grace: I literally can't help you Grace: 🙏 bitch Janis: everyone's ready for bed, what are you chatting Janis: I wasn't getting dressed again Grace: not everyone's ready to bed a hot boy tho Grace: I can't even with you Janis: if we were gonna fuck he'd see even less so Janis: don't think he's any more bothered than I am Grace: That's SO not the point Janis: are you gonna tell me Janis: cba to guess, like Grace: we do not have time for a masterclass! Grace: 🙏 you're right babes Janis: considering I'm here, I clearly am Grace: unless he's literally inside you rn in which case EW don't chat to me Grace: you don't know that for sure Janis: why would you even say that Janis: you're twisted Grace: Oh please Grace: I'm a nan, UM okay Janis: yeah, and I'm not interested in the incest you're peddling, thanks Grace: why would YOU even say that Grace: so gross Janis: you brought it up Janis: you think you'd be better at gaslighting by now Janis: tell your boyfriends to up their game Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: tell your boyfriend you don't always do 0 effort, he might be new enough to fall for it Janis: you get one that stays longer than the 3 minutes it takes him to pump and dump, I'll listen to your 'advice' Grace: you get one EVER & maybe I'll take it Janis: yeah, egg on my face for not letting every lad that wants to inside Janis: lmao 🥴🥴🥴 queen of romance as if you've ever had that either Grace: I've turned down so many lads THANK YOU Janis: 😂😂😂 Grace: 👌👌👌 👋 Janis: k yeah you're busy Janis: turning away all those elligible bacherlors will take all of two minutes of you staring at yourself delusional in the mirror, like Janis: nighttime routine! Grace: You're such a bitch Janis: Yeah, you too Grace: Literally where?? Janis: we do not have time to go through all those receipts! Janis: honey Grace: You don't Janis: 💔 Grace: sure Janis: Go talk to Holly and Jessica, they'll make you feel better Grace: I'm doing my night time routine, babes Grace: duh Janis: besties who cry together, no Janis: that's your whole schtick, they'll be inconsolable by now Grace: I'm not crying off a £35 mask Grace: you'll all have to get over it Janis: how effective it is on you, you may as well use it on them instead Janis: revenge acne, very cute Grace: I'm so sorry that my skin needs like a £100 one, okay? OMG Janis: yeah well, I appreciate you realise how tough it is on me Janis: tah babes Grace: leave me alone Janis: I have Janis: 💔 remember Grace: fine, go away Janis: find a spare room and make that feasible Grace: don't even bring him here Grace: I s2g Janis: it's alright, he don't fancy you Janis: the mask won't shatter the illusion, like Grace: Exactly, so just don't, okay? Janis: I'm not going to, Christ Grace: 👌 Janis: Really, Grace, what the fuck Grace: ???!! Janis: like I'm gonna fuck anyone when you're in the room Grace: like that's what I said or meant Janis: yeah, so as per, you can have your friends in whenever Janis: gotcha Grace: that's different Grace: my friends aren't boys Janis: wouldn't make a difference to you Grace: OMG I'm literally saying it does Janis: and it's bullshit Grace: sure Janis: you know it is Grace: no I don't Janis: you want an example of how much of a bitch you are, case in point Janis: my friends were never good enough, male or female Janis: yet we all have to put up with yours every weekend Grace: You don't have friends for me to judge Grace: if I was even bothered which I'm obvs not Janis: Convincing as it was first time 'round Grace: UGH Grace: I'm happy for you but I don't need to extend that to a welcome party in our room like Janis: Whatever Janis: later then Grace: Bye Grace: Are you back in for good? Janis: Probably Grace: I'll get the light then Janis: 👍 Janis: I would've found my way alright, like Grace: sure but I'm not breaking my neck thanks Janis: from the bottom bunk? Janis: impressive Grace: the amount I overpacked is Grace: cannot move Janis: note the 'over' there is negative, not positive Grace: oh great 💘😘 hasn't put you in a better mood Janis: you're the one here copping an attitude 'cos I won't enable your problem, but go off Grace: if you wanna invent problems for me to have, you go off hun Janis: the 'you've got enough' comes too easy Janis: make me work for it Grace: & you're never too busy, yeah? Grace: poor boy 💔 Janis: you see him here Janis: specifically not, on your orders 'cos you out here looking like shrek Grace: he just left you, give him at least one sec of thought like Grace: so rude Janis: capable of having more than one at a time, sweetheart Janis: god bless Grace: LOL Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: no use, won't be able to spot your brain like that Grace: Thanks for the advice Grace: I was gonna say it for actually doing what I asked but you're right back to being a bitch again so 🤷 Janis: 'cos the definition is famously 'do everything I say or you're a cunt' Janis: you'll never be Mia, babes Janis: not got that kinda clout over them, let alone me Grace: OMG stop Janis: 'cos you know it's true Janis: no bigger bitch than your bestie Grace: You can take the title if you want it babes Janis: your bestie? Janis: no tah Grace: the biggest bitch Janis: same difference Janis: keep up Grace: You don't even know her Janis: we ALL know her 🙄 Grace: She can be a lot, UM HELLO, so can I Janis: 😱 NO Janis: fucking hell Janis: what a revelation, call the press Grace: The rumor mill is focused elsewhere rn Grace: 💔 obvs Janis: I know Janis: get a nude 'leaked' like your fat friend Janis: worked for all of ten seconds Grace: if you want me to kms sure Janis: 🤷 Grace: won't call the press on that revelation hun Janis: I wouldn't Janis: bit embarrassing Janis: not all publicity is good publicity Grace: you'd know I guess Janis: 😂 you're actually jealous Janis: that's funny Grace: of what? Grace: you losing your virginity finally Janis: there's nothing sadder than sounding like a rode hard put away wet slag full of regret at 15, for starters Janis: we get it, you've never had an orgasm or a 'man' that weren't a piece of shit, get a vibrator and put down the cigs, Shirley Janis: and secondly, not got time for the list when you know perfectly well what Grace: & there's nothing more tragically desperate than getting with that boy cos he doesn't know anything about you Grace: he'll find out Janis: and everyone knows everything about you Janis: rather, they could, if they were interested to ever look Janis: it's gotta be hard being 10th most interesting, even Junior had some closeted appeal Janis: 💔 Grace: okay Jan, you're so mysterious Grace: good luck working that angle for another 15 years babes Janis: good luck being a bleeding heart for that long Janis: interest in the sob story ran dry long before your eyes have ever Janis: how infuriating, I don't want it, actively try to get rid of it, and I still get more than you Janis: gutted for you, truly Grace: sure Janis: I know, sympathy ain't what you want Janis: but it's all that's on offer for you so chow down, babe Grace: 😂😂 you think you know me like that Janis: everyone does, remember Janis: you think you get it both ways Janis: take that whilst you can 'cos it's coming up for 5 years and truly, the dead sister bit is dead Janis: Kiera O' Malley's dad died so it's #overparty sweetie Grace: You're twisted Janis: no shit Janis: get them to get you a therapist, all the 👂👀 you can buy Grace: Why would I go when I can send you in with all the issues you've invented for me Grace: hmu with the highlights hun Janis: Christ, don't pretend you don't know Janis: you want that angle Janis: to be this pathetic AND unaware of it Janis: self-awareness is your only shot at some dignity at this point Grace: I know all my angles thanks Janis: it's super funny when you pretend to be a full-time bimbo Janis: not tired at all Grace: IKR 🙌 Janis: kinda sad Janis: do you ACTUALLY think they'd rather be friend with the OTT 'happy' bitch, genuinely? Like you HAVE to know all your 'friends' are waiting for is the inevitable meltdown when you fall apart so they can see what earrings they can scavenge from your carcass Janis: livetweeting how #problematic you are and finally saying how little they fucked with you, anyways, but all the best in life, nothing but love, girl 😘 Grace: Oh honey, I'm 100% not that bitch EVER Grace: can't you spy the dynamic from your moral high ground? awks Janis: oh honey, just 'cos they're keeping the runt around to fatten up, does not mean you're not next on the spit Janis: sadder than I thought Janis: you'll actually be sad when it happens, fuck me Grace: flattered to be called out as that thin tbh Janis: ha, eating disorder gang got jokes Janis: burns calories Janis: not AS much as crying though so crack on Grace: Mhm so does hooking up, so you'll have a way into the squad now hooray Janis: not the way y'all do it, pillow princess Grace: you've never seen the way I do it Grace: my tapes are yet to be leaked Janis: as if they're filming Janis: darling if you were any good, you'd get callbacks, not pied off before a camping trip Janis: but god bless with that #metoo spirit Grace: everyone's ALWAYS filming, check your socials Grace: & I dumped him so 👏 for bringing that fake news back Janis: nah, you didn't Janis: you should get dumpee tatted right under your doormat forehead tat Janis: let 'em know just how much they can get away with Janis: so hot Grace: were you there lurking or are you finally over that now? Janis: lol i'm the one with the obsessive personality Janis: now you're just being silly Janis: check your socials Janis: you've not copped that totally 'anon' post with all the tea only a REAL bestie SHOULD know? 🤔 Grace: I came here so obvs I am ridiculous yeah Janis: no shit Janis: you should be home, smacking her in the face Janis: but you've chased after a lad who was 3 fingers deep in another silly bitch at brekkie Janis: that's fun for you, yeah? Grace: 🥊 is more of a look you like to wear Grace: but sure Janis: sort it out Janis: it's not bad enough you let anyone with a dick in this town make a mug of you, you have to let her as well Grace: I didn't come here for Leon Grace: he wishes Janis: This is why I can't do this with you Janis: he doesn't and you did Janis: crying otherwise helps your case none Janis: actually do something about it if you don't like the narrative Grace: That is literally what I'm doing Grace: if I stayed home it would look like I was crying over him Janis: well right now you just look like you're stalking him Janis: maybe if you tried with the activities, like Grace: ugh that's easy for you to say Grace: it'd look really good when I tried & still can't do it Grace: Get a clue OMG Janis: I ain't saying become Bear Grylls Janis: just have a laugh, with the other girls on this trip that ain't too scared to look anything less than their knock-off idea of 'perfect' Grace: as if Grace: the other girls on this trip don't wanna be my besties Grace: 🔪 are out Janis: 🙄 Janis: yeah and that helps the lads fuck all of you over Janis: just build a fucking raft together, don't need to braid each other's pubes and make friendship bracelets on the last day Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: no bitch fucks with me, I ain't getting pushed into the lake Grace: I'm not you Grace: 💔 obvs Janis: yeah, use some of that scathing attitude on the people who need to hear it Janis: why can you be a total bitch to me but you'll 😢 and hold back on every other cunt who actually wants to see you fail Grace: you're my sister Janis: don't remind us, yeah Grace: never Grace: it's bad enough we're sharing a room rn what am I 9? Janis: not my fault your bestie can't fart without breaking a bone Janis: if I could share with anyone else, obvs 💔 Grace: it's not my fault either Grace: anything she does Janis: wasn't about to say you were the instigator of the starvation army Grace: Duh Grace: not looking like this I'm not Janis: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: her dedication to ending up in the ground with all her #thinspiration goals is not aspirational Grace: & neither is this Janis: soz, you wanna truffle shuffle louder, I didn't catch the scope of your GINORMOUS wobbling jelly rolls from here Janis: shut up Grace: you've literally said worse to me Janis: and? Grace: don't tell me to shut up Grace: so rude Janis: you know I ain't here to listen to you chat utter shite Grace: I just said, it isn't & so have you before Janis: That's your problem Janis: getting your esteem from people who hate you Janis: yourself included, naturally Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: if that were true Leon wouldn't be my ex Grace: go tell him to shut up if you're so concerned Janis: if it weren't true, you wouldn't have fucked with him in the first place Janis: or include him on the list, he's a prime twat Grace: We get new boys literally never & you 💍 him when we did Janis: don't be dramatic Janis: you go for the wrong ones to begin with Janis: correction, they go for you and you don't tell 'em to fuck off Grace: Oh okay yeah I'll date the 🤓 Janis: Probably better than getting piped n pied by the fuckboys Janis: seriously, how many have you lot got in common, it's grim Grace: not if I don't understand half the words they say Grace: I've got you to make me feel stupid Grace: & the others, 10th most interesting, right? 🏆 Janis: you want to be stupid Janis: or at least be seen as, pretend you are like that makes all this shit okay somehow Janis: who am I to deny you that, bimbo? Grace: 😂😂 you don't know what I want Janis: neither do you, chuckles Janis: it's a shit show Grace: Exactly Grace: but I know what I don't want & it's 🤓 thanks Janis: like there's two choices Janis: you don't live in an american teen drama, much as you make-believe it Grace: like I'm spoilt for any Janis: stop being so judgemental Janis: not gonna do you any favours Janis: if I need to tell you that, when I go out of my way to do it, you've got a problem Grace: neither is running some kind of virgin training school Grace: but sure Janis: 🙄🙄🙄 alright Grace Janis: continue to cry about how shit your friends are, how shit the boys who fuck you are, whilst only letting the worst people into your life Grace: OMG I'm just saying everyone already thinks I'm gonna take my clothes off every time I upload Grace: I don't need predatory status against 🤓 Janis: because I'm saying fuck every nerd in school without prejudice Janis: I'm saying there's plenty of alright lads who would like you that you won't give the time of day right now Grace: bitch where?? Grace: an alright lad likes YOU not me Janis: so all boys are shit Janis: like all friends bitch behind each other's backs Janis: YOU'RE settling because you don't reckon you could do any better, that no one decent would fuck with you, admit that 'cos blaming the world ain't gonna change the world you're surrounding yourself with Grace: SO DRAMATIC Grace: I know I can't, I've been sat down here saying it literally the length of this convo Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: I've said it, you have, Leon has, the boy before him has Janis: Nah, you won't try Janis: you're scared everyone's right Janis: get some fucking ambition and get out of this town or you're gonna end up like the rest of them Janis: knocked up by some prick from 'round here and that's all you've got Grace: cos this town is the problem Grace: as if Janis: death tolls high for a reason, baby Janis: Carly, Eds, they were trying to escape too fucking late and they only way they could Janis: at least they got out, everyone sensible has Janis: Ma, Rio, they're fucking stuck for life Grace: they were trying to escape people, things, whatever Grace: she was no happier anywhere else we lived Janis: we were babies, you don't remember that Janis: that's the bullshit they've fed you 'cos it's all that keeps them from doing themselves in with the guilt Grace: okay Janis: anyway, semantics, if you want it that way, girl Janis: it's this family we all want out of Grace: but we can't Janis: yeah, we can Janis: where's Billie, where's Junior, Nancy Janis: like I said, anyone with sense jumped ship there and then Grace: that's away not out, nobody gets to be out Janis: they're not coming back Janis: they're as out as she is Grace: no they're not Janis: get a clue and check out 'til we can actually go too Grace: check their socials then check hers Grace: she's the only one who died Janis: worse than dead Janis: least you can all pretend she didn't wanna go, yeah Janis: she was coming back Janis: they're actively choosing to stay the fuck away, every day, and they're right Grace: She was, Janis Grace: cope with that Janis: she's dead anyway, cope with that Janis: all the family love in the world ain't saved none of us, her included Grace: It's not me hiding behind her Janis: it's not hiding when you don't want to be found Janis: and you can babble on about what an open book you are but you're the biggest fake of them all Janis: at least da flaked all those times he couldn't hack it, at least ma's a cheat who's fucked over everyone she 'loves', at least Rio is a whore who's fucking her own family to boot Janis: they talk a big game on the happy family, but their actions say otherwise Janis: you're just, here Janis: hoping we all get it back, like it was ever good Grace: #fakeittilyoumakeit babes Grace: I'm 15 where do you want me to go? In Billie's footsteps cos LOL that modelling career is a no Janis: you miss the part where I said check out 'til it's over Janis: let it go, Grace, let everyone go, because they're gone Grace: I'm still waiting for you to tell me how Janis: It ain't hard Janis: they might not be as forthcoming giving you reasons to hate them as I am Janis: but it's not taxing to find 'em Janis: bubbling under the surface, barely Grace: I hate you but we're still having this chat Janis: it's all perfunctory Grace: like I know what that means Janis: Truer words Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 okay Janis: Night Grace: 👋 Janis: [Assault death drop] Janis: 💀 yet? Grace: about to kms Janis: 🙌 Janis: you really took our little talk to heart Grace: literally nothing to do with you but 👌 Janis: sure it is Janis: you think you're getting solo interest rn? Janis: I'll tell 'em it's gone from a sickbed to a deathbed, see if they go for it Grace: UM I don't want it thanks Grace: I can die of shame away from the 👀🍿 Janis: Bollocks 😂 Janis: it's the most fun you've had all trip Grace: You said do activities! This is so your fault Janis: See, you took multiple chats to heart, awh Janis: you're not even hurt, just your ego Grace: OMG I am not in the mood Grace: go away Janis: damn, lanky and large not fluff your pillow just right Janis: can't get the staff, babe Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: you know what's wrong you were LITERALLY there Janis: yeah, you eat shit, the boy laughed Janis: an amusing scene but not one you need to hide in the sickbay for Grace: STOP Janis: you're so self-involved, take a look around, baby, plenty people making mugs of themselves, it's half the point Janis: Kerri-Ann gave herself the biggest wedgie on the aerial course Janis: probably picking that out still today Grace: okay that was funny Grace: but just Janis: I get it, it's not funny when it's you, yeah Janis: better to laugh it off though than be a primadonna or that'll be your camp moniker by the end of this and your ladies in waiting will have to kms too Grace: I can't now Janis: well, I'll tell you when it's safe to come out Janis: when the fat lad takes a tumble or whatever else is the laugh of the minute Grace: I picked him to be my partner so this wouldn't happen! 😠😠😠 Grace: boys are so unreliable like Janis: they're not famed for their use of words, give you that Janis: it was an accident, like Janis: no wink wink nudge nudge let's let the bitch fall was happening Janis: the teachers aren't that useless, quite Grace: thank god Grace: I'd have to kill him before myself & my wrist hurts so like no Janis: you started slicing already Janis: hit up the samaritans this ain't my scene Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: come on, that was funny too Grace: no Janis: spoilsport Grace: You still won, get over it Janis: Obviously Janis: who else would Grace: not Leon that's for sure Grace: that girl makes me look athletic Janis: 😂 Grace: she's not even the one he's telling people he dumped me for Grace: but I'm a slag, okay Janis: ladies, ladies Janis: you're BOTH slags Grace: LOL Grace: I'm gonna get dad to pick me up Grace: give it my best 💜 por favor, venha me resgatar, pai 💜 Janis: don't be dumb Janis: you'll look like more of a baby than you already do Grace: &? Janis: you're supposed dying of shame in there Janis: it's counterproductive Janis: get up and get over it, minimal damage Grace: like you care Janis: Obviously not Janis: but you apparently do, so much Janis: so think on Grace: to what? I shouldn't even be here anyway Janis: you want the lasting impression to be the girl that showed up, threw a paddy and then ran away Grace: focus on the fact you'll have your own room babes Janis: exactly Janis: why you tryna do me any favours Grace: not about you hun Grace: embrace the concept Grace: & new boy's 😍😍💘😘 Janis: yet I win again Janis: alright Grace: it's not me v you Grace: it was me v Leon & there was a glimmer of hope in one quite fit lad but 💔 obvs Grace: not gonna get with him if he can't handle a blindfold, am I Janis: that was your master plan Janis: jesus Grace: Duh Janis: Ooh Leon, lemme prove what a slag I ain't and a total catch and fling myself at a random boy Janis: showed him Janis: lucky it didn't work if that was your idea of a point to you Grace: No, let me show you how much I don't care that you think I'm a slag & neither does anyone else Grace: that boy included Janis: he definitely cares Janis: banking on it Janis: honestly, get a clue Grace: whatever it's not about to happen Janis: good Janis: 'cos that's the stupidest thing you've said all holiday and that's saying something Grace: such a bitch Janis: such a stupid slag Janis: we've all got our cross to bear Grace: Yeah Janis: 🙄 fucking hell Janis: anyway, they've stopped talking about you and da has a job so don't be a dick Grace: like that'd stop him or you're concerned about anything he does Janis: like you are Janis: least I don't pretend to care so he'll drive me places Grace: 🙄 let it go, he's not answering Janis: probably on the phone to his actual favourite Janis: 💔 bummer Grace: Mhmm Janis: wouldn't say you're 10th on that one but definitely not 🥇 Grace: you're 10th, I'm 9th Janis: Nah, idiot Janis: the white kid was 10th, it's pretty obvious Janis: Junior's 9th 'cos he literally hated him so much from birth he had to bounce Janis: Billie is 2nd 'cos came back for her, Pablo's 3rd, Iggy's 4th, rest you lot can duke it out for 5,6,7 and I'll take 8th Grace: not now she's dead, she isn't 🙏✞💕 Grace: & Junior has to be higher up now so he can repent honey Janis: kid yourself he weren't relieved Janis: ain't no one but black grandma believe in that shit Janis: and that's just as a handy-dandy rule book for him #sparetherodspoilthechild #obviously Grace: he's kidding himself, doesn't matter what I think Janis: nah Janis: he's happy being cucked, clearly Janis: plus competition got lower once Carly pegged it Grace: 🤷 Janis: n'awh Grace: worry about yourself and getting Ollie out of the way now I'm stuck here Janis: why would I Grace: cos you're 😍💍💘 Janis: so? Janis: you can do one, idc where you are Grace: UM NO Grace: you can Janis: nah Janis: you've got no use for a bed rn Janis: piss off to your friend's room Grace: being a bitch isn't gonna help you here babes Janis: then stay Janis: see how much that helps you Grace: so twisted Janis: you're the one refusing to leave, apparently Janis: been warned Janis: 🤷 Grace: EW Janis: don't worry, maybe your fwightened lil virgin theory will finally pay off for you and you can feel better about your own sexual history at my expense Janis: 🤞 for you babes Grace: OMG stop being gross Grace: I don't wanna see what's all over my feed thank you Grace: I definitely don't need IRL access Janis: 😂 Janis: OK nan 👌👌 Janis: you've always been the definition of can dish it out but not take it Janis: poor boy(s) 💔 Grace: I've never fucked a boy in front of you Janis: there's a lot you ain't done but I've heard plenty about Janis: difference between us is I ain't all talk Janis: you'll have to fuck off then, won't you Grace: cos everything you've heard is the truth Grace: oh please Janis: I mean from YOUR mouth Janis: it's empowerment and ownership when you do it, and Rio can get it all out for everyone at the right price Janis: but nah, not me Janis: you wish I was half the virgin you reckon, then you'd have ONE thing over me, yeah? get a grip Grace: I repeat, I'm not doing it in front of your face, bitch Janis: I repeat, you try to tell EVERYONE how good you are in the sack 'cos you know there are 3 hotter sisters to choose from Grace: No I don't! Janis: it's pathetic, stop it Grace: You're being extra & if you need ME to tell you, stop it Janis: What's your edge then? Janis: go on Grace: why is everything a competition with you OMG Janis: because it is, always has been Janis: come on, this is your thing, what's your target demo, babe, who are YOU catering to? Janis: you wanna be a 2nd rate Ri forever, yeah, cool Grace: SHUT UP Janis: Exactly Grace: You want me to hate you, I do Grace: Let it go Janis: not how hate works Janis: you really got to thinking Edie might care 'cos she let up, gave it some time and space Janis: no chance Janis: you ain't gonna forget Grace: I'm not doing this with you rn Janis: nah, you ain't Janis: put your face on Grace: it's always on hun Janis: You look a state Janis: and he's coming over Janis: get over it Grace: He's not coming to see me Janis: Who is Janis: Never stopped you before Grace: freak out about him all you want Grace: directing it at me tho Grace: really Janis: why would I Janis: I know who I am, who I'm catering to Janis: I'm the effortless one Grace: sure Jan Janis: maybe you'll think of a better selling point one day Grace: maybe you'll stop being so closed off one day Janis: don't count on it, babe Janis: especially not tonight, yeah Grace: 🤞 he isn't Grace: easy to fake being a person for a few days, yeah? Janis: said as if you'd know Janis: doormat's easier to maintain, right Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: Yep Janis: thought so Grace: You think about me too much babes Grace: it's getting lowkey weird Janis: these convos might set your world alight but remember that big word I taught you Janis: yeah, that Grace: 👌 Janis: 👋 Grace: 🙌 Janis: forgetting you got no place to be? Grace: you've got somewhere, go Janis: I've told you, I'm not leaving Janis: very injured, like Grace: 💔 Grace: tragic tbh Janis: his thoughts exactly Grace: awks if they are Janis: only for you Grace: you too that he's figured you out that quick sweetie Janis: and you're sat there wasting your whole life? Janis: we knew you weren't the brightest but bless Grace: you're really seizing the day babes, how could I compete Janis: you couldn't Janis: maybe you'll win the genetic lottery in your next life Janis: be the best dungbeetle ever Grace: how #motivational Grace: love that Janis: it's too late to be optimistic about this life Janis: but I got faith in you there Grace: ILYSM obvs Janis: ew don't even pretend Janis: put me off, obvs Grace: obvs not Janis: 😂 you're precious Janis: if I knew all it'd take to get you to shut up was telling you about my exploits, I'd have started ages ago Grace: If you had any ages ago, sure Janis: oh babe Janis: really still going with that bit Janis: can't let it go, can you Grace: can't tell the truth, can you Janis: what would you know about that Janis: #fakeittilyoumakeit right babes? Grace: I mean, obvs don't tell him unless he's into that #duh Grace: some boys get lowkey weirder than you're being about it so Janis: again, what would you know Janis: no one's buying that for you Janis: can't have it both ways 💔 Janis: or either, if you're you 💔💔 Grace: I was once thank you Grace: that's how it works Janis: NO! 😱😱 Janis: you mean you didn't come out the womb so sexually empowered, colour me #shook Janis: it's so natural, you wear it so well Grace: IKR Janis: Oh God 😂 Grace: Ew don't give me a preview of your sex chat Janis: yeah, you would imitate bad porn Janis: you know boys mute that shit, yeah? Janis: as per, too fucking loud, Gracie Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: no one fucks with that fake shit Grace: thanks so much for your expert advice Janis: welcome, welcome Grace: obvs not Janis: all very obvs with you, obvs Grace: LOL Grace: fun chat babes Janis: as always Grace: g2g relearn all my bedroom techniques so like Janis: bit gross to do that with your pals Janis: can't say I'm surprised Janis: another porn-like trope Grace: literally so gross Janis: I said it first, darling Grace: 👏👏 Janis: have fun, ladies Grace: duh Janis: 🤢🤢🤢 Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: soz, they ain't my type, like Janis: shouldn't come as a surprise Grace: It doesn't Janis: 👍 Grace: 👌

that fic with jackie and henrik gave me so many feeeeeels ;~; I somehow feel like jackie wouldn't care too much for his own safety after he hurt henrik so badly, and when he does get injured, he wouldn't want to face henrik unless he completed his mission. and I can't stop thinking about someone bringing him into henrik's hospital, unconscious and bleeding, and henrik feeling angry and guilty. (can you tell I'm a whump fan lmao)

Ooooh, boooy, you asked for this by sending me such a great whumpy scenario…

JSE Fanfiction - In Time Of Need (Part 3: Discord #2)

Summary: Jackieboy returns, but he’s not in any condition to make amends with the doctor he hurt so badly. Schneep has to save his life first. 

Schneep thought about him as soon as he pried his eyes open each day.There was a tangible emptiness when he stumbled out of bed, shrugged on hiscoat and made his way down the hall toward the lab, only to find that Jackie wasn’twaiting for him outside the locked door.

It wasn’t right. His throat always felt dry and tight when he rememberedthe terrible things he had said…the terrible things Jackie had said to him inreturn. Each morning, they made him pause with his hand on the handle, his keyin the lock, leaning his head against the doorframe and trying to remember howbreathing worked.

“I don’t haveluxury of running away! I have to watch Jack breathe through machines…”

“I know you,Henrik; you stay because you feel guilty!”

His hand shook, sweat causing his fingers to slip against the smoothmetal doorknob. He knew. He knew it was true, but that didn’t mean hearing thewords from Jackie of all people had hurt any less.

He should never have let him leave. He should have begged with him tostay; he had heard the shock and the regret in the hero’s voice as soon as he’drealized all of the hurtful things he’d said. If Schneep had asked him, he would have stayed just to make up forwounding him so badly. Instead, Schneep had told him to leave. He hadn’t beenable to stomach looking at him, muchless try to go about his day with him.

If Schneep hadn’t raised a fuss about him leaving in the first place,Jackie never would have said those things. He would have gotten a hug before heleft instead of a pathetic touch of the hand. He should have supported hisfriend. Jackie was trying to cope in the best way he knew. Search for Anti. Itwas his answer to everything. Schneep should have understood that.

Guilt burning bitterly against the back of his eyes, he did his best tocollect himself, slipping into the lab. As soon as he laid eyes on Jack,however, the tears took full shape, blurring his view until he hastily scrubbedthe back of his sleeve over his face and crossed the room.

“G—Good morning, Jack,” he whispered, laying a hand over his creator’s.He could almost imagine that Jack’s fingers twitched underneath his own, but heknew they hadn’t. For a long minute he simply stared at him, taking in his palefeatures. His cheeks were getting scruffier day by day. Schneep would need toshave him soon. Such a simple task, but he didn’t want to think about it. Hecleared his throat, lifting his voice a little more to fill the deep void ofsilence.

“I haven’t even had my coffee yet. You know I need that caffeine, but Itend to you first. Not very many people get Dr. Schneeple’s pre-coffeetreatment…You are special. You get spoiled,” he rambled softly as he changedthe IV bags. “I wonder if I were to put coffee in these IVs, if you would openthose eyes. You cannot resist good coffee. Or…heh. Banana milk. You wouldsurely wake up for that, wouldn’t you?” His voice broke as he attempted a weaklaugh and his faint smile faded. “…My Jack. You are something. You do like toplay with our little brains, don’t you? But this…th-this is…more than that. Iplayed with yours a-and I…I did it wrong.”

“You were theone who put Jack in this coma in the first place by failing him—like you alwaysdo!”

“I wish…none of this had happened. I wish I had never even touched you.If I hadn’t, you—you would be awake now. You could have done it yourself. Youwere stronger on your own, Jack…you…you never needed me.”

As soon as he said it, he couldn’t stand to look at Jack anymore,whirling around and making a beeline for the door. He knew Jack wouldn’t bealone for too long; Chase would be coming to watch over him within the hour,which gave him the excuse to escape.

Somehow, facing Jack wasn’t even as difficult as facing his coworkersevery day. They were making more and more comments about how haggard andexhausted he looked, but they couldn’t complain about his work. Schneep madesure that his work didn’t suffer because of his family. All he could do wasinternalize, internalize, internalize until he got in the taxi and could cry itout on the way home. The taxi driver had learned by now not to ask anyquestions.

Until then, however, he had to stay collected. The patients passed backand forth before his eyes, all blending together, none of them too extraordinaryor memorable. They weren’t who he was thinking of, but he forced himself totreat them nonetheless. They were important. He had to do his best for them,just as he would for his family.

“Are you okay, mister?” the little girl sitting on his examination tablequestioned cautiously as he fit her cast on her arm. It was pretty sad when hispatients noticed how grim he was.

“Don’t you worry,” he assured her with a weak smile. “Dr. Schneeplesteinjust hasn’t had his coffee today. I will be just fine.” Lies, lies, lies, lies. Everything was a lie.

The little girl didn’t look convinced, but she didn’t get a chance tokeep prying further; both she and Schneep were distracted by the small swarm ofdoctors making a commotion on the other side of the hall.

“…Male, mid to late twenties, medium build, multiple contusions and lacerations—He’staken a blow to the head—”

“Sir? Sir, can you hear me? Can you tell me who you are?”

“We all know who he is, Rena;this is Jackieboy Man!”

No. No.

Schneep’s heart surged up into his throat just as the pit of his stomachplunged, tools falling through his hands with a shattering clang as he boltedacross the hall with reckless abandon, shoving past the other startledphysicians and latching onto the edge of the gurney with clammy hands.

“Jackieboy?” he gasped out, his breath quickening in a race with hisheart and his stumbling skips to keep up as he was dragged down the hall. Themore his eyes widened, the more he could see the subtle difference between thered in Jackie’s suit and the bloodstains. There were too many. “Jackie, Jackie,what have you done?”

The hero shifted slightly at the sound of his name, prying half-lidded eyesopen to wander toward the lights overhead, though it wasn’t as much of a reliefas it should have been. Even with the shimmering rings of silver light aroundhis pupils, indicating he’d used his powers recently, his gaze was too glazed,too dilated, Schneep agonized. Sticky, half-dried blood was crusted over histemple, on his hood, in his hair—he had to have a concussion.

“I don’t—where is he? I’m not down yet, I’m not…lemme back…” the olderEgo murmured blearily, his hands twitching as if he were about to try pushinghimself upright. Schneep promptly snatched the closer one, squeezing ithelplessly.

“Stay still, stay! You’re in hospital, you’re hurt; you have to stay sowe can help you!” he implored, to which Jackieboy’s brows furrowed in minglingpain and confusion.

“H’spital…?” He tried to shake his head, hissing through his teeth as he earneda spike of pain for his troubles. “No-o-o,” he whined, letting his head fallback and blinking heavily. “No…no, not here…”

“What?”

“Get…get me outta here, I don’t want—H’nrik’s gonna kill me if he sees…Ifhe…sees…”

Fairly quivering with unspoken disbelief and a faint twinge of anger,Schneep clutched his hand all the tighter. “You’re not going anywhere! You’re goingto be okay; just stay with me.” He spoke too late. After his friend’s nextflickering blink, his eyes fell closed and didn’t reopen. “Jackie! No! Jackie, openyour eyes…Jackie! Stay with me here!”

“Schneeplestein, you need to step back,” one of the other doctors began,grabbing at his shoulder. “He needs to be—”

“No, shut up!” Schneep half-sobbed, half-screeched, wrenching out fromhis reach. “I’m going to save him!”Though it went against everything in him, he pried his grip away fromJackieboy’s limp fingers and ducked around the gurney so he could wildly pointthem in the direction of his preferred operating booth.

Though he performed the surgery (accepting very little help from thenurses along the way, never thinking to thank them where they did assist), Schneep wasn’t there to seeJackieboy transferred to a room. As soon as he was stabilized and Schneep couldbe certain that his lung wouldn’t collapse again, he promptly excused himselfto the nearest supply room, dumped several packages of gauze out of theirassigned bin and retched into it.

Nothing substantial came up, given that he hadn’t eaten anything todayand he’d only taken a few moments between patients for water, but he couldn’tstop. He wasn’t even sure why! He hadsucceeded. He had saved Jackie’s life; he was safe, so why did he still feel so chilled, so terrified?

It wasn’t that he wondered what could have happened if he hadn’t savedhim; he knew exactly what would have happened. A pneumothorax led to low bloodpressure, low blood pressure led to shock, and shock led to…He was all too wellaware of the “what ifs” and over the years he’d become a master of pushing themaway. Why was this different?

The nauseating sensation didn’t abate as he pushed the bin aside andstumbled back into the hall, waving vaguely in acknowledgement as one of thenurses read his mind and called Jackie’s room number out to him. When he foundthe proper door, he didn’t hesitate to go in, but as soon as he shouldered thedoor closed behind him and looked up, his breath hitched and he instinctivelyrecoiled, the door handle digging into his lower back as he pressed against it.

Jackie. It didn’t look anything like him; he was stripped of his mask andhis jumpsuit, leaving nothing but a bare, colorless face and a medical gown andbandages and blankets around his waist and an IV lead and a nasal cannula andhe—he was still unconscious.

Comatose.

Jack.

The fear became realization, the realization became dread, and the worldswerved out from under him. As soon as he hit the floor, the doctor curled intohimself, tucking his face between his knees and clutching his hands close tohis aching chest. This wasn’t Jack. This was Jackie, which only made it worse, because Schneep had put him there. Deep down, he knew thathe was to blame.

If you hadn’tfought with him, he wouldn’t have been distracted! You know he was thinking of you instead of how recklessly he was fighting! Youput him here, just like Jack! Just like J̡a̷ck. You failed the b̀o͜th of them.

It seemed his taxi driver wasn’t going to be seeing his tears today; theywere already spilling over and he was helpless to stop them. His only instinctwas to stifle the sobs by snatching at the hem of his coat and burying his facein it until he was near-suffocating.

A mere four feet away, unnoticed by the distraught younger Ego, his herostirred.

patiently momming the shit out this fuckin' potential serial killer...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like feminism.

You: hi

Stranger: hi

Stranger: asl

You: 33 f

You: canada

You: you?

Stranger: m22 canada

Stranger: feminist?

You: yes

You: you?

Stranger: fuck no

Stranger: feminism is sexism and hatred of men, why would I support it?

You: meninist?

Stranger: not really

Stranger: just knowing the truth

You: where do you get this information from?

Stranger: online

You: ok

You: have you considered.... reading a book?

Stranger: no

Stranger: because with the ability to be anonymous online people will say the truth without fear of being outed for it.

You: interesting

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: Feminism isnt about equality, its about hatred of men and female superiority

You: ok, if you say so

Stranger: how is it now?

Stranger: not*

Stranger: women demanding a safe space free of men is seen as just fine

Stranger: a male only space is seen as "sexist"

You: uh, do you think their aren't men only space though?

Stranger: feminism cries about male dominance in politics and management positions , but when it comes to male dominance in jobs like trucking, mining, construction etc, feminists dont say a word

Stranger: there is men only, and to feminists thats seen as sexism

You: you seem a little worked up

Stranger: I mean, Boy scouts of America now allows girls in... wtf its the BOY scouts, girls want to be a scout? there is a thing called girl scouts of America too

You: yeah girl guides is a much better organization anyway

You: they also accept boys

Stranger: LMAO wow what guy would joint girl guides.

You: idk, a kid who likes camping and cookies

Stranger: I do like cookies

You: yeah, cookies are great

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: women are also entitled and selfish and think they should get stuff just because they are a woman

You: i think the word entitled gets thrown around a lot to describe people

Stranger: women expect a man to pay for the date.

You: but its mostly about folks asking for respect

Stranger: but I thought you bitches wanted "equality" oh wait...

You: like millenials are real entitled

You: for wanting jobs that pay a living wage

You: says boomers

You: who dont want to pay a living wage

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: but you NEED a living wage

You: yeah, we all need a living wage

Stranger: but women are entitled and think they deserve only the best of the best of the very best men who will do whatever she says and wants and no matter what shes always right

You: this seems like a narrow focus on what women are like

Stranger: its the truth

You: like, this is a pretty shallow stereotype that might be true for like 10% of college girls

Stranger: lol its true for all girls

Stranger: girls are shallow

You: but i guess if thats who you put on a pedestal, shallow girls

Stranger: all girls are shallow

You: mmmm, i mean, you might be misinterpreting women's intentions

Stranger: how so?

You: like if i saw you at a coffee shop and over heard you talking this conspiratorial feminist is evil game, i wouldn't be interested in you

Stranger: Im not 6'0 or taller, im not ripped af and I dont drive a BMW, your not interested in me

You: eh, again, i didn't say that

You: i'm not interested in cars or money or height

Stranger: sure

You: or muscles

Stranger: sure

Stranger: so your a lesbian?

You: but i can tell a dude is a self loathing weirdo pretty quick

You: i'm bi

Stranger: ok

You: women are easier to date

Stranger: sure

Stranger: im 22 and still a fucking virgin

You: for me anyway

You: yeah, that happens

You: some folks are late bloomers

Stranger: LMAO no, women are shallow

You: alright, well if you want to believe that that's up to you, but your world view determines your world

You: so if you can't open your heart and learn to trust women, you'll probably keep thinking worse and worse thoughts about them

Stranger: well im not good looking so...

Stranger: LMAO trust women... that is horseshit.

You: and find yourself in more situations where you can prove yourself right

Stranger: women are nothing but cheaters and liars

Stranger: let me tell you something?

You: ok

Stranger: I met a girl on here 2 yrs ago, shes down in Tennessee, we kept in contact on skype, became friends, fell for each other, admitted our feelings, fell even more for each other, hoped to meet one day, have our first times, maybe end up married and be forever. She met another guy and threw me away.

You: so, you were 20 years old and an internet girlfriend ruined your life forever?

Stranger: nope

Stranger: it just proves how unloyal and unloving women are

You: idk, that sounds kinda stupid

Stranger: plus my 3rd ex cheated after a month, not to mention other BS she did, I'll share if you wanna know,

1st and 2nd ex never even liked me

You: like, i'm being pretty patient with you here

You: this self loathing rap is pretty pathetic

Stranger: lol its hatred of women

You: yeah, its called misogyny

Stranger: and feminism is misandry

You: eh, not really

Stranger: sure

Stranger: women are hypergamous whores

You: eh, i mean, if you and i were the only people on the planet, i would say men are toxic dudes who have little self awareness and say abusive bullshit with so little life experience its kinda tragic if not a little dangerous, and that women are extremely patient and nurturing even to weirdos who don't deserve it

Stranger: sure.

Stranger: if you think im ever going to trust a woman again your insane

You: i guess it was more advice for your sadness but its up to you

Stranger: im not sad

You: eh

Stranger: I just know the bitter truth of life

You: i mean you sound angry, but its obvious where its coming from

Stranger: yeah

You: lol, what is the bitter truth of life?

Stranger: that women are nothing more than shallow unloyal unloving whores who only care about themself, love isnt real. together forever doesnt exist

You: are your parents divorced?

Stranger: never married, dont know my father

You: what's your relationship with your mom like?

Stranger: its fine

You: does she love you?

Stranger: yeah

You: is she loyal to you?

Stranger: i guess. im her only child

You: would she give you her kidney if you needed it?

Stranger: idk, shes not in great health herself tbh

You: would you give her your kidney if she needed it?

Stranger: yeah

You: well that's good

You: have you heard much about internet feedback loops and how it can hurt your self-esteem?

Stranger: yeah

You: i kinda think you should look into your online peer group and figure out if thats who you want to be?

Stranger: Im not on any forums or anything like that

You: like... behind the "women are all cheating selfish shallow whores" is like "a woman would never be loyal to or love me or find me attractive"

Stranger: that is true

You: and that says something about you that isn't true

You: that you aren't unlovable

Stranger: Im not

You: eh, you probably are, or could be

You: just maybe chill with the incel stuff

Stranger: im not. for one im not anywhere near cute. That alone keeps love away.

I have huge trust issues. A short temper,

You: have you considered seeing a therapist?

Stranger: no

You: i've been seeing therapist for like 6 years, they are pretty great

Stranger: well I dont need one

You: what about the trust issues and the short temper?

Stranger: you cant fix those.

You: yeah, that's what therapists do

Stranger: and all it takes is one asshole to come along and destroy it

You: they help you work through those things

Stranger: honestly, I rather just blow up when im man

Stranger: mad*

You: eh, again, you do you, but this is real good advice honestly

Stranger: im fine

Stranger: as for trust issues, I tried to get over it, just to be fucked over again

You: eh, yeah,

Stranger: so I will stay single

You: i have had shit come up in cycles through my life too

You: its hard

Stranger: yeah

You: anyway bud, i should go, but take care of yourself, enjoy this summer :)

Stranger: yeah, but you know whats painful

Stranger: ?

You: what?

Stranger: seeing a hot af girl at the beach in a bikini and knowing I'll never get to smash that

You: dude, just see a sex worker

Stranger: I dont wanna pay for it

Stranger: or get aids

You: eh, don't be cheap and use a condom

Stranger: I am very cheap

You: ok, well, put a fuckin tin can in your room, and everytime you think to yourself "I'm unlovable" but a dollar in it

You: or what ever mean things your brains says to you

Stranger: I've got a peanut butter jar of like $400 change in my room. just because why not

You: yeah, well $400 will get you a good looking woman

Stranger: yeah.. or it can sit here and be mine.

You: or like half an xbox

Stranger: ok

You: ok, good luck

You have disconnected.