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lonelywhalien22 · 1 year

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I'm so excited for D-DAY! Yoongi is my bias-wrecker in BTS LOL and I'm forever in love with his mindset/lyricism. He has a way of writing things straightforward, but still being comforting (versus Namjoon's very poetic and wise writing style). That's my favorite part too!!! I also liked the reference to IU's 'Eight':

I loved this softer side of 'People Pt 2' and how it reflects Yoongi's growth as an artist and a person! Aaaggghh he's just one of those people that you wish a little extra success for, ya know? Idk - he makes me soft! LOL. All the references to past AUGST D and BTS songs (and maybe even IU's 'Love Poem'???) was tastefully done 🤌🤌🤌 I also really loved seeing him harmonize with IU 😍😍😍 they sounded really good together?! To be frank though . . . I don't quite understand the connection between the original 'People' and 'People Pt 2' yet, but I could also just be thinking too much into it (if you know, help a slow-brained friend out? 😅😂).

OMG OMG OMG NCT Dream concert 😭😭😭 if I had more money I would definitely go again HAHAHA. I think I'm still going through post-concert depression LOL because I woke up kind of down and tired today for no reason 😓

My favorite performance was 'Trigger the Fever' and (surprisingly) 'Saturday Drip'!!! Mark did a little bit of 'Golden Hour' as well so that was fun!!! (Thoughts on this solo song too???) NGL, I had a little bit of Renjun tunnel vision, so I only remember him and bits of Haechan/Mark during 'Trigger the Fever' 😭😂 They looked like they were having so much fun and just feeling themselves, it made me so happy! I'm always a little biased towards rap line performances in Kpop LOL because I just like the hyped vibes. I actually don't listen to 'Saturday Drip' all that much, but the NCT Dream rap line did a really good job with performing it!!!

I'm so sorry with how long this is LOL, but it feels like catching up with an old friend after a minute and I do just really like talking music with you hahaha. Are you going to any other concerts this year other than Ed Sheeran? Happy Tuesday 🤗

@twogyuu don't be sorry about the length of your post because mine is disgustingly long as well. like i'm actually deeply sorry for my word vomit:

Wow that’s a fantastic line from the song you shared as well! Love the sandcastle analogy. And omg the way I missed all the IU song refs…like Love Poem is my fave song from her 💀 (is it obvious i don’t speak korean??? lol 🤣). I love songs where you pick up on something new in the lyrics the more you listen to it! And at the ending when he shared he wrote it during covid like ahhhh I really felt that - It’s been so interesting to me as a music listener to hear works by artists that were made during covid/about covid…I just think it’s fascinating and like this little time capsule/archive of a very specific moment in time where we can see all the different emotions that came from that period and how they were expressed in so many different ways.

Also that is literally such a perfect way to differentiate between Namjoon and Yoongi’s lyrical styles - like you took the feelings right out of my brain and worded them perfectly. Yoongi has always been my favorite of the rap line for that reason. And then jhope is one of those rappers who’s like the vibey rapper if that makes sense??? It’s like his stuff always has this groovy flow to it that’s so distinctly him - I like to think it’s because he’s a dancer too but idk lol.

And girl lol we both need help bc idk what Pt. 2 is referring to either 😭 i’m not one of the kpop lore people, even for the groups I really follow, so I’m always in the comments section learning new things too lol. Heck I barely understand why Set Me Free is a Pt. 2😅 ik bts likes referencing their old music a lot in song titles so I’m just blindly used to that now and don’t question it lol (fellow armys help us with the receipts pls bc I’m useless for this sort of thing lol)

Wow just checked out Trigger the Fever - never heard it since it looks like it was on the very first mini album before I really followed them but omg I love it - it's right up my alley and I love the optimistic vibes and the harmonies they hit are just really pretty to me. Saved on Spotify hehe. idk when they performed it but it sounds like it would be perfect towards the end of the concert when they wanna make the fans all emotional and crap as they start to say goodbye 🥺

Saturday drip is such a great concert choice, I bet the crowd went wild. The super hype songs are always my fav during a concert bc everyone goes crazy and shouts out the iconic parts and it's such a good time!!!

Golden hour wasn’t my vibe BUT i did really like the concept and the mv for some reason. Like it was one of those songs where the mv actually made me vibe with the song more than i would have if i just heard it with no visual. That’s actually one of the things i really love abt kpop in particular - the way they build whole concepts and visual narratives around songs and seeing how it all comes together in the mv…it has definitely opened my ears a lot more if that makes sense and there are so many kpop songs that upon a second listen or bc of something in the mv/choreo/etc. i have come to absolutely love. NCT especially always challenges tf outta me. For ref I am a Sticker enthusiast and I still get crap for that lol but what can I say??? NCT is experimental so i’m always surprised by the songs from them that I wind up liking, and golden hour was memorable if nothing else lol

dont feel bad about reaching out to gush about music!!! normally i don't have any other way to let out my feelings besides watching reaction vids or reading social media comments on my own during comebacks so it's great to have someone to chat with stuff about directly! I really wish I could have seen NCT Dream but the date for my closest city just wasn't the best and I already saw NCT 127 a few months ago with their The Link tour. I was like - I saw Mark recently I don't need to see him again for awhile (LIES) 😭 but Haechan was sick at the time so I didn't get to see him then and I really like him and Renjun ahhh!!! Next time!

You asked about other concerts and BRUH. I can't feel too bad abt missing Dream bc I'm still seeing/have seen so much! Everyone's got that one thing they splurge on and for me it's concerts. Back in 2020, my very first concert was gonna be Map of the Soul with BTS and then…well we all know how that story went 😭😭😭I’m still incredibly sad that I never got to see them all together live before the military service so after that and 2 years of lockdown I was like I have to see as many of my fave acts as I can because you never know when this might be an artist’s last tour for whatever reason. Once i could afford it I started going to as many concerts as I could and haven't looked back. There’s just something about experiencing music live with the artists and other fans around you that just gives me a rush idk i love it!!! Besides Ed (saw ur post and you should totally see him if you can make it work money-wise btw hehe. his tickets are some of the most affordable i've EVER purchased in terms of comparable seats at other concerts <3) I'm also seeing TXT in may WHOOP! And then i managed to get beyonce tickets even though my wallet hated me for awhile after that one ngl. I’m seeing her this one time and that IS IT lol. I heard SM said baekhyun and wayv are gonna have tours so if that’s true i’m gonna try getting tickets for those. I would love to see Ten perform live, he’s one of my faves in all of NCT, and then Baekhyun - I just REALLY need to hear his vocals live lol. Like he could just come out on stage, sing Bambi and then leave, and I’d feel like I’d gotten my money’s worth from that alone 🤣 Hoping to see The Boyz again on tour as well now that Eric is back and doing better but they haven’t announced anything rn. Saw them once but the seats were sooooo bad omg…gotta see them again with a better view because their performances and stage presence are phenomenalllll. I found out about them during Kingdom!

Unfortunately no yoongi for me bc the locations were more limited and I knew it would be a bloodbath lol. Also I still haven't recovered from taylor swift (i truly was one of those peeps in the queue for 8+ hours and still did not get tickets 😭😭😭). next time she tours (please please please let there be a next time istg) i've gotta go.

Not that you asked but since I'm on a roll and can’t shut up - I've seen some other groups in the last year and and hands down, without a doubt, the best for me was Ateez. They are my ult group besides BTS and cannot stress enough omg their stage presence is freaking insaneeeeee. Saw them two nights in a row and have literally no regrets. Best two nights of my life. Came back to my place with voice gone after that second night, ate a post concert meal and passed out in my bed. Was on a high for like a week after and I still miss them lol. Will always try and see them when they’re in my area.

Also recently saw SZA and that was a literal dream. she was amazing and i still have random concert flashbacks every few days.

#dee:asks

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every-non-reason · 2 years

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08/24

All I’m gonna say is that I stayed up way too late thinking about chicken tenders last night, and that poem was the result. I’m guessing I’ll put those here, too.

What a weird thing for a teenage girl to stay up late thinking about. Not a boy, not a girl, not anyone. Not an upcoming presentation (even though it’s summer). Not a friendship or some fuzzy memory. Chicken tenders.

But also, my mood really was rotten. My brain was telling me things I didn’t like, such as You’re pitifully lonely and You wasted your whole summer. I woke up this morning really needing some air.

The first thing I did was fumble for my glasses - thick lenses, thick brown frames. I brushed my teeth, scraped my dark hair into a ponytail - strands and layers wiggled themselves free within seconds - and changed into a different T-Shirt than the one I fell asleep in. It used to belong to Gabriel, my older brother, and had some indie band on it that I knew of. It didn’t fit right, but it felt better than some of the stuff chosen for me.

Okay, I thought to myself. Today will be decent.

I took my copy of The Fellowship of the Ring with me, under my arm. It felt nice to have something to hang onto. The book’s nice, something my dad got me from the bookstore next to his restaurant. Fake leather, light brown, the letters engraved into it. Middle-Earth felt like breathing fresh air when there wasn’t enough of it.

“Buying school supplies?” my mom said on my way out. “Don’t get anything fancy, you’re not in any hard classes…though I don’t really see why. You have the potential to do it, it’s just–”

My chest had tightened and I’d rushed out the door. We’d talked like this enough times for me to know what she’d say next.

You don’t want to take what’s offered to you.

I ducked into the 7-11, trying to get myself together before appearing in public again. My brain was going haywire, my mood having been shattered to pieces. I was in no shape to speak to a Staples clerk. I hadn’t interacted with other people outside my family in a long while, let alone right after an exchange like that.

She hadn’t even said that much to me - I’m just sensitive like that, I guess.

But in any case, I was inside the 7-11, and I found something to distract myself from this turn of events. A familiar figure standing by the drink fridges.

Don’t get me wrong - seeing someone from school in public is terrifying. But this time it was actually kind of nice and, uh, enlightening? I don’t know if that’s the right word, but anyways -

Their name is Seth. I thought it was something like Sean or Selene before this - that was my bad. When I saw them at Econ 1 last year, they always looked neat. Like, a clean haircut, plain t-shirt and jeans or sweats. Point is, they blended in.

That is not what they looked like when I saw them at the 7-11 earlier. Their hair was really messy in a charming way, and I noticed for the first time that they had piercings. Not just on their earlobes, but also on their helix, which they wore as if it never hurt at all. Their earrings were all black and cool-looking. They had this big flannel on and worn-out sneakers, with the laces arranged in a star shape. I couldn’t see their eyes - lots of hair in them.

Some cool, collected, rude logic of mine said this kid was unkempt, probably a delinquent or someone who didn’t know who they were.

But as I looked at them and I knew that they did, and that this was it.

So, naturally, I walked right up to them and tried to say hi.

I don’t know why I’m writing so much about this one thing, but I also kind of do know. I never talk to people in my own grade, let alone people in the upper one. I also realize, now that I think about it - I was envious of them. I wouldn’t wear those exact things if I could, but something told me that for them, this was freedom. I wanted that.

“Hey.”

They turned around, and my heart jumped. I proceeded to re-evaluate every choice I ever made with my life. I pressed on anyway.

“You go to Franklin HS, right?”

They let the fridge door shut without picking a drink. “Yeah. You’re Reed, right? I’m Seth.”

I forced out an “Mhm!” with my head spinning. I’d almost forgotten that people knew me as Reed around. Spending so long hearing my mom call me something else made me forget that in a way. Whatever it was, my own name felt really nice in their voice.

“Yeah, I’ve seen you around!” I continued. “It’s just - I’ve never seen you dressed like that before. I was just curious - sorry if that’s strange-”

“No, it’s all good!” they answered. “Yeah, my dad’s out on a business trip, so I get to do whatever. It’s the last couple days of summer, too. Gotta use it as much as I can.”

“Ah, man,” I said with a stage-laugh meant to fill empty space. It only made the silence more pronounced. “Yeah, my mom’s always home, but I get that. She hates the way I cut my hair short.” As I spoke, I ran a hand through my hair - black, cut haphazardly at chin level, flying out at strange, poofy angles.

Seth tilted their head to survey it. I caught a glimpse of an eye - wide and light brown. “I think it looks nice. It’s always suited you.” They glanced back at the fridge, tapping the glass over a bottle of root beer before opening the door and taking it out. “Are you taking Econ 2 next year?”

I nodded.

“Thought so. You seem kinda smart.”

“I would’ve taken AP,” I said quickly, as if defending myself against this friendly 7-11 customer I’d just met today. “But I didn’t want the stress. I do that for a lot of classes, actually.”

This is the simple explanation that wouldn’t have worked just fifteen minutes before this.

But they nodded. “That actually makes a lot of sense.”

We parted ways and I left the store a few minutes later, just ‘cause I’d made some excuse about Staples. But I know for a fact I would’ve spilled my every secret to this person if I hadn’t.

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poppywrites41 · 3 years

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Captive Love Ch. 2

Prince! Yoongi x Maid! Reader

Here is chapter 2! This chapter will focus on Y/N’s first day of work…and maybe a little bit of a cliffhanger.

Warnings for this chapter: Swearing, violence, description of past deaths, mentions of smut

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“Rise and shine girls!” Lilith shouts through the halls of the servants’ quarters, her meaty fists pounding on each of the girl’s doors. Y/N swears she can feel her room shake every time that woman’s fist comes in contact with a door. “You all have 10 minutes to get dressed and come down to eat!” Lilith calls, her heels clacking away. Y/N raises her arms up to stretch. She looks out of her small window to see a garden with a path that leads to a small set of doors going into the back of the castle. She turns to her cupboard and takes out her servant’s outfit. She takes off her dress that she wore yesterday, neatly folded it like her mother taught her to, and placed it in the cupboard. She took a look at the outfit laid out on the bed. It was not elegant in the slightest, but it was sure prettier than any outfit she had worn in her life. It was a pretty beige with ¾ sleeves that were flexible enough to move the arms comfortably to perform the needed tasks. The skirt was neatly fitted on the waist and ran to the ankles. It was not puffy at all and had a comfortable feel to it. And to top it all off, pretty little white lace ruffles were added to the ends of the sleeves and around the top opening to give it some style, which Y/N really appreciated. When she got the dress on, Y/N took a look at herself in the small mirror hanging on her wall above her tiny sink. She spotted some dirt on her cheeks, probably from the wagon, so she splashed her face with water, rubbing at her skin. After her facewash, she noticed how messy her hair had gotten. She ran her fingers through the h/c locks and tied the hair in the front to the back, creating a half up-half down style. She made her way to her door, slipping on her shoes and head down the hall to the servants dining hall.

When she arrived, she found a seat at a table where some of the girls she arrived with yesterday were sitting at. They were not talking to each other as much as the other servants were, probably because they were new or nervous. Y/N sat down next to a young girl with dark brown hair. Once she sat down, an older woman brought her a tray with a piece of bread, some water and a small bowl of what looked like to be chicken broth. Y/N turned to the girl and offered a small smile, “Hi, I’m Y/N. We came together on the wagon yesterday. Sorry for not introducing myself earlier.” The girl’s hazel eyes met hers and she gave Y/N a small smile, “It’s okay. I’m Emily. I don’t really talk when I’m nervous. I have a lot of anxiety when I feel pressured.” She said in a quiet tone. “I get it. I am totally nervous. I mean, yesterday I was living my normal life and now suddenly, I’m a servant to the royal family. The people who I thought of as family, gave me away for money without a second thought.” Y/N said taking a bite of her bread and immediately chasing it down with some water. Emily frowned, “I’m sorry to hear that.” “So,” Y/N said after eating a spoonful of the bland broth, “How did you get here?” Emily looked down at her food and played with it with her spoon, “I’m actually a twin. My sister and I are daughters of bakers. My mom and dad worked so hard their entire life, baking for the royal family. My sister was a big help in the kitchen. She is so smart, kind, outgoing and beautiful. She is pretty much everything I am not. I would usually mess up tasks that would get me in trouble, but she would always defend me. My parents loved me, don’t get me wrong, they were just worried about me a lot. I wasn’t let out a lot. I could have been an embarrassment to them. Then, my sister met a man who came from a good family. They fell in love and are to be married. However, the guards came before the wedding and were trying to get my parents to give them my sister for a large sum of money. So that’s when I volunteered myself to go in her place. I didn’t want her to leave everything behind and to ruin her chance of a happily ever after, so I went in her place.” Y/N looked at the girl with awe, “You are such a good and brave sister to go in her place. I’m sure she is very thankful for you. I don’t think you are an embarrassment. Just stick with me and we will get through this together!” Emily smiles at her and nods in agreement. Before anything else could be said, Lilith’s voice was booming throughout the room, “Mealtime is over! Everyone sit down a listen. Tomorrow is the Grand Royal Gala so we will need to clean the castle extra today. Royal families from all over the country will be attending so I want that castle spotless. Here are the groups and their tasks for the day. Rosetta, you and your hall will clean the floors and windows of the ball room. Claire, take your girls and polish all of the utensils and dishware. Isabel, you and your hall are in charge of cleaning the dinning hall. I want that space especially clean.”

While scrubbing away the dirt on the floor of the halls, Y/N reflected on what Elizabeth informed them about the royal family:

First off, the king. He has his own personal servants who clean, dress and cook for him, so it was highly unlikely for her to be involved with him. He is a strict ruler and likes for everything to be perfect. He does not interfere much with his sons’ lives, but he is more attentive to his two eldest sons. He wants to make sure they are both well-educated and fit enough to rule the kingdom when his time is up.

Same goes for the queen. She is a more carefree person than her husband. She enjoys balls and festivities. She interacts more with her sons than her spouse, but definitely more with her youngest sons, since the older ones are with the king or in counsel or military meetings. She clearly loves her family but is not the most observant or caring mother. She lets them do as they please.

Now, the eldest prince, Prince Seokjin. He is the next in line for the throne. Elizabeth said that he is very serious about his role in the family. With his brothers, he can be a fun person who will crack jokes and enjoy the company of others. But when wronged, he can be a completely different person. He once chopped off a chef’s fingers for making a soup too spicy for his liking and fed those fingers to his dogs. Since he will most likely become king in the near future, more galas will be held to find the prince a suitable wife. Overall, Y/N believes that she will not be in contact with the prince very often either.

The second eldest is Prince Yoongi, the second in line for the throne. According to Elizabeth, he rarely shows his face in public. He is extremely introverted. He keeps to himself, usually in his room where he will write poems, or he will be sleeping. Even with his introverted nature, he is somewhat of a genius. Elizabeth said that when he was a teenager, the king went to war with a foreign land and was at a disadvantage. It was Prince Yoongi, at age 16, that stepped in and completely remodeled the military tactics, which won them the war. However, like his brother, when wronged, he turns into a beast. One day, he was asleep in his room when a servant came in to clean. The servant did not notice the prince asleep and continued his task. It was not until he accidentally knocked the prince’s favorite ink off of his table and spilled it on the ground. The prince woke up in a rage. The man tried to apologize to the prince, only to have himself sent to the dungeons for a week with no food or water. On the last day, Prince Yoongi went down to see the servant, only to behead him himself.

When Elizabeth told them that story, Y/N felt deep chills run down her spine. Hopefully she won’t have to interact with Yoongi during her time at the castle.

From what she heard about the third and fourth oldest princes, Hoseok and Namjoon, they are not as hot tempered as the two eldest. Hoseok is a kind person with a bubbly personality, but when he is pushed the wrong way, he can be a force to be reckoned with. Namjoon on the other hand has not publicly displayed any hostile actions. He is extremely smart and a good leader. From what Elizabeth said, Namjoon is somewhat of a leader to all the brothers. He is very considerate of all of their opinions and is able to settle any arguments between the brothers. Y/N does not suspect to have any issues with those two princes.

Now the last three. Jimin and Taehyung, the fraternal twins who like to cause mischief in the palace. They seem to like to pick on the staff and belittle anyone who is of lower status then themselves. Out of the two of them, Taehyung is more sadistic. He will keep harassing staff members until they leave, hurt themselves or commit suicide. Jimin on the other hand, likes to make people, especially the women he has accompany him in his chambers, feel like they cannot survive without him. Whenever he has wronged one of his girls and they try to talk to him about it, he uses his charming attitude and well-chosen words to turn the whole conversation around onto the girls. He would make them feel like they were the ones who wronged him, and they would apologize to him and swear that they will do better.

Last but not least, the youngest prince, Jungkook. He had everything handed to him on a diamond plate. Elizabeth noted that his beauty almost rivals that of his oldest brother and Jungkook knows it. She said that he excels in anything he does. However, he is probably the scariest out of all the brothers. Jungkook can get away with anything…ANYTHING. Apparently, he was in love with a princess once and planned on marrying her. One day before he planned on proposing to her, he caught her having sex with one of his guards in the library. Furious, he went to his room and waited for her to return. When she did, he asked her where she was, and she lied to him saying that she went for a walk in the palace garden. Jungkook then called the guard she was with into his room and had two guards block the doors out of his room. He tied the princess to a chair, ignoring her cries trying to convince him that she would never cheat on him. He then ordered the guard to remove all of his clothing, leaving him nude. Jungkook had the guard put on prison cuffs himself while the prince hammered a hook into the wall. He beckoned the naked guard to lift his cuffed hands onto the hook. Once everything was in place, he slowly began to castrate the guard, relishing in the man’s screams of agony and the princesses’ shrill screams of horror. After he castrated him, Jungkook swiftly sliced the man’s neck, causing blood to spew out from the slash and him to choke on his own blood, all the while Jungkook forced the princess to watch. Once the man’s body stopped twitching, he untied the frozen princess and took her to his balcony. The princess began apologizing to the prince promising that she will never be unfaithful to him ever again, swearing her loyalty to him and begging for his forgiveness. He gave her a warm smile and gave her a small kiss on the lips, telling her that she is forgiven. And Just as the princess began to relax, Jungkook shoved her over the balcony and watched her body fall to ground. When the prince’s parents found out, they sent word to the princesses’ father that she had run off with a man and that they cannot find them anywhere. The princesses’ father believed them and sent search parties all around the country, never to find out the truth about what happened to his daughter. It’s because of that incident that Jungkook ends the lives of those who betray him.

All of a sudden, she heard something being knocked over and water spilling. Then a sudden cry of pain. Worried that one of girls hurt themselves, Y/N immediately got up and ran down the hall towards the noise, ignoring Emily telling her not to involve herself.

Y/N could hear a males voice from down the hall, “You stupid whore!! Your spilled you water on my fucking new shoes!!”

Once she turned the corner to where she would find the girl, her eyes widened, and her heart stopped.

#poppywrites41 #yoongi x reader smut #yandere yoongi #bts yoongi #yoongi x reader #yoongi smut #prince yoongi #yandere bts #yandere bts x reader

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omiscurls · 3 years

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omi doesn’t like flowers

sakusa kiyoomi x gn!reader fluff

cw: the reader has a little sibling, i hope nobody minds, there’s one line of very slightly implied nsfw, you won’t even notice

meant for kiyoomi’s birthday! happy b-day to my favorite boy <3

one of the first things you’ve learnt about your boyfriend, even before your relationship started, is that he rarely shared personal information with anyone. he’d go as far as put up a fake birthday on his social media to avoid the awkward wishes and tons of yet another gifts from fans he so didn’t like going through. apart from that, there was a lot of weird things going on with birthdays, in his opinion: for instance people automatically thinking about zodiac sign or assuming other things, insisting to have a party, (a surprise one was his biggest nightmare) and a whole lot of other stuff he found appalling.

so it was just simply easier to say his birthday is “mid november” and get on with his life as if he didn’t just straight up lie. and truth be told, many times had you heard that “oh, in summer” or “right before christmas” before you got to know the truth. it wasn’t that easy on its own, but ever since his first little white lie, you knew he wasn’t true with you, and kept insisting, until he finally pulled you to the side and told you his real date of birth, the one only komori, atsumu, and, as he used to say, “unfortunately” his family knew.

march 20th was the date, and since you wanted to tease him, a grin appeared on your face before you mumbled “so a pisces, huh?” and earned a glare so cold and deadly, you visibly shivered before apologizing.

the next thing you learned about him and his birthday, was that he was picky about gifts. which went well with that “i’m an old fashioned gentleman” facade, because he could just say “oh, you don’t have to buy me anything. your company will be enough” with a slight smile he’d practice for years, and people thought he was just being humble and polite. spoiler alert: he wasn’t. he just didn’t want to deal with his own pickiness, and explaining to people what precisely would he like to get was too much trouble, and took away the magic of it even for someone as blunt as kiyoomi sakusa.

it’s not like birthdays were such a big deal for him, anyway, he didn’t need any gifts or parties to celebrate the fact that he just got one year older. what was so fun about that? but like the pain in the arse you were, you kept asking him what he wanted for the occassion way before he asked you out, and he hated it, but not more than he hated the way his heart jumped at the possibility of getting something you spent your time on.

the first year of your friendship, you got to know the basic thing: omi doesn’t like gifts. gifts make him uncomfortable, he didn’t know what to say, how to act, what to do with it... does he open it right then and there, or wait, but why would he immediately thank someone if he doesn’t even open it? schroedinger’s cat: if he doesn’t open it, it might as well be thin air inside the box.

it was confusing, and weird. you also learnt that it was all caused by the fact that no one was in the house to celebrate young omi’s birthday back in his childhood days, since his parents were working and his siblings long away in college, so he just assumed it was a holiday to be overlooked and not dwelled too much on, and got so used to it, that now it bothered him to be in the center of attention for once.

the third thing you learnt that year: it was almost impossible to find him a good enough gift, at least from your perspective. you spent literal hours at the store, looking at the different things he might’ve wanted, but nothing caught your eye. you called all his friends, yet he hadn’t mentioned the thing he’d like to anyone, not even komori. so you decided you’d go with instinct and remembered one cold morning when he showed up to practice grumpier than usual, and when he was asked what’s wrong, he answered:

“i woke up late and didn’t have time to make coffee”, half mumbling, half actually speaking, eyes too tired to be annoyed, legs slowly sweeping one before another as if he was forced to come here. And that’s where you got your idea.

His first birthday with you, being his 21st, had started terribly, because it was wishes from his family. He’d told you multiple times he’d rather have them forget that send those copied off the internet lines that mean less than a “go fuck yourself”

later on atsumu insisted or telling everyone and it took poor omi more than twenty minutes to convince him not to, and as both the setter and the spiker weren’t in their top moods nor form, MSBY lost a match they had that day. so all he wanted to do march 20th 2017 when he came home was to lay flat on his couch and play with his dog’s fur while watching a crappy TV show. he most definitely didn’t expect you sitting in front of his apartment’s door, tired, almost asleep.

he sighed, approching you and slightly nudging your foot with his, making you shake your head and look up.

“you’re back!” you said with a smile, and he raised an eyebrow.

“and you look like a homeless person” he responded upsentmindedly, avoiding you to reach the door lock. only after you got up did he see a small package you held behind your back. “it’s not a right day to be celebrating me, y/n” he added, opening his apartment’s door and letting you in with a hand gesture. you went inside, not for the first time ever, but every time the feeling was the same, intimidating and cold.

“why do you think that?” you said, taking off your shoes and putting them on a rack, and turning around to see him navigate you to the bathroom. you placed your bag and the gift on the floor before following his steps.

“didn’t you see the match? i fucked up big time” he chuckled ironically, looking at himself in the mirror, and you could witness the disappointment and anger in his eyes.

“so every time you guys win and you get the credit, you say that volleyball is a team sport, but if you loose, suddenly it’s your fault?” you smirked, but to your surprise he nodded.

“precisely”.

“well, regardless, it’s a minor set back. you’re still the best they make” you tried to cheer him up, but only received an eye roll in return. “aaaand, you’re a birthday boy today!”

“don’t remind me” he sighed, walking over to the kitchen to see what he can make for dinner for himself and his uninvited guest, meanwhile you grabbed your gift and walked up right behind him, tapping his shoulder lightly.

“happy 21″ you whispered, a slight, soft smile on your lips, as you handed him the package. he looked at you with a tired look in his eyes.

“you know i’m not the biggest fan of gifts”

“just open it, grumpy face” you whined, and he gently took it from you, placing it on the counter and carefully unwraping it, to see a thermal mug. he sent you a questioning look, before you explained “you were complaining about not having enough time to drink coffee before leaving, right? well now you don’t have to drink it before leaving”

there was silence for a long while before he looked up from the mug and gave you the softest smile you’ve ever seen. “that’s so thoughtful of you” he said, and laughed a tiny bit, probably to cover his emotion, which obviously didn’t work “thank you.”

omi likes thoughtful gestures.

over the second year of your friendship, as he and his career gained more recognition from the public, he was “forced”, as he’d reffer to it, to share such a personal information that is his birthday date. the managers always claimed that it’s not a big deal, that it’s just gonna be added to the oficial page and his wikipedia, but judging from the amount of gifts atsumu, bokuto and hinata always received, he had his reason to doubt that.

and as it turned out, he was right.

because starting from march 10th, his personal mailbox as well as the oficial MSBY’s mailbox has been FLOODED with different things that he really had no energy to go over. and so, he invited one of his best friends to help.

so it was late at night on march 19th, and you were both sitting on the floor of his apartment, a mess of ripped wrapping paper all around you, loads of different stuff laying on the table, as you still had a lot of things to open.

“what even is the point in sending presents to someone you’ve never met? i mean less to them than their neigbour’s dog and yet i’m the one getting gifts? this is messed up” he kept on complaining, opening another package.

“it’s called being famous, sakusa-kun. you mean very much to people you’ve never met, because your journey to where you are now inspires them to keep going on their path until they reach their dreams” you said with a smile, confident it’ll ease his worries, but it didn’t.

“don’t know if i consider being in the Jackals my dream, though”

“you mean, you don’t think being a key player in a division one team is not a dream come true?” you asked, shocked.

“no, no, of course i think it is, i’d never thought i’d reach this far, but, there’s more things to be done, it’s not like i’m an accomplished person just yet”

that, you found interesting.

“really? than what are your dreams, sakusa?” you asked in a low voice, eyes fixed on his face, as he focused on reading a letter in his hands.

“national team” he murmured “MVP, a golden medal, a legacy that goes beyond just me” he opened up as if it was nothing, as if he was talking about his grocery list “but that all wouldn’t mean a thing if i were there alone, though. i’ve received plenty awards and mvp’s over the few years that i played, but i guess what would really matter, and make everything else worth remembering, would be... having someone be proud of me, i guess”

you felt your heart getting soft and fuzzy at the confession, wanting to respond, before he handed you the note he was silently reading.

“this is a poem, y/n, a POEM! what the hell, i don’t even understand what’s going on there” he whined, throwing his head back to rest on the couch seat, as you giggled, reading the note.

“it’s nice” you said in a high-pitched tone, pushing down a laugh.

“it’s too... sophisticated” he uttered, looking at you, a tired look in his eyes. “that’s my mother’s thing, to be sophisticated, i like simpler wishes, they’re easier to believe”

omi doesn’t like fancy words.

you nodded, but before you could say anything, your phone rang, and both of you looked at the screen. the hour on display marked midnight, and as the alarm ranged, the words “omi’s b-day!!!” appeared on the screen. he smiled subconsciously, noticing how you always address him as “sakusa” or “sakusa-kun” but the notif in your phone stated “omi”.

“looks like it’s the 20th already, birthday boy” you grinned, turning off the alarm.

“don’t call me that, what am i, six or something?”

you decided to ignore the comment, and smiled at him warmly before speaking, almost under your own breath:

“happy 22, sakusa. i wish you only to be here to hear me say happy 23 next year. and say so with pride.”

his eyes appeared foggy and glossy, but it was probably fault of poor lighting and tiredness.

“why stop at 23?” he asked, before standing up, and offering you his hand to pick you up, too.

omi likes very real wishes.

over the third year of your friendship you became very close. ever since that night on his living room floor, both of you couldn’t wrap your minds about anything other than each other. neither of you oblivious idiots found out what it was about, but day after day and month after month it was harder and harder to spend time apart.

before he could notice, sakusa always tried to find you in the crowd before serving, and that’s how he always used up most of his time. once, he even heard ushijima complain “how much longer are you going to take? be a man and beat me without your good luck charm!”

his good luck charm, huh?

you kinda liked the sound of that.

you also found yourself texting him every random thought that came to your head, sending pictures of everything, becasue you wanted to share as much of your life as possible, meeting up whenever you could and facetiming whenever you couldn’t.

it all started to go downhill when atsumu, bokuto and hinata started noticing. noticing the way he’d smile at his phone, the way he’d wink, smile, tease, joke, speak, even the way his eyes wondered when left unfocused, and a dreamy look covered his vision.

and they started to tease, and joke, and make his life all more difficult, just because “omi has a crush!”

because he didn’t. right? he didn’t have a crush on you, for sure, and it only annoyed him, how childish they were about it, how insufferable. they got on his nerves so bad that he stopped responding to all the messages, stopped smiling, joking around, and all, just to prove his point,

his point he knew was no longer standing.

and so atsumu would ask, after one of their practices, “hey omi, is your lucky charm picking you up? some birthday dinner, maybe?” he’d nudge his side with an elbow, raising his eyebrows.

“i don’t know” he mumbled “and stop calling them that”. the brunette kept looking for something in his bag, just to avoid atsumu’s tiring, curious glance.

“fine then, how about your significant other?” he continued teasing. it’s not like sakusa would hate that scenario, of course he wouldn’t, yet his mind kept spiraling - what if you came in and heard that? what if you assumed he was calling you that behind your back?

what if you didn’t feel the same?

“stop butting in my relationships for once, miya! how many times am i supposed to tell you i’m not in any way romantically involved with them? i don’t even like them that much!” he lied, straight in his best friend’s face, fed up with all the jokes and smirks behind his back, and judging from atsumu’s shocked expression, and the color running away from his face, it worked.

“what, don’t you have anything to say to me now?” he kept going, before atsumu shook his head, and pointed behind kiyoomi’s back wordlessly. the spiker raised an eyebrow, turning around to see you, in the flash, eyes wide open, a tiny little package in your hands, wrapped so neatly in colorful paper, with a little bow tie at the top.

even from a distance he could already half see, half imagine tears prickling your eyes before you smiled sadly, dropped the box from your hand and let it fall to the floor, and began walking out of the gym room.

“no, no no, y/n, wait!” he started shouting out, but your ears seemed deaf to his pleas, as he ran up to the door you just walked through, leaving atsumu alone, but with a condescending smile.

“i don’t like them that much my ass, omi-kun” he whispered to himself before walking over to grab his things.

meanwhile sakusa ran out to the reception room of the stadium, but as it turned out, it was filled with fans waiting for them all to come out, so they could wish him happy birthday, and it seemed impossible to get through the crowd and reached you, especially considering you were already at the exit door.

he looked around himself and noticed all the people, how many of them were there, and how close to him, and got paralyzed in place, wanting to move, or disappear, that’d be for the best, and yet he couldn’t even move one foot.

soon enough he felt a hand on his shoulder, guiding him back inside, his savior apologizing to the public.

“sorry guys, we have one more thing to go through! he’ll be out shortly” atsumu laughed off, before closing the door and handing omi the gift you left.

the spiker mindlessly opened it, only to find out a spotify code inside, put in between a glass frame. he took out his phone from the bag and scanned it with his app, gasping audiably when the page loaded.

lay back in the arms of someone by smokie showed up on his screen, and a smile crawled up his lips before he remembered how badly he fucked this up a second ago.

he narrowed his eyebrows before looking up to find the blond setter’s eyes.

“atsumu” his friend’s eyes widened in surprise upon hearing his first name, instead of surname “is there a back exit from here?”

atsumu miya smirked.

“bet ya there is, mr i-fucked-up-big-time” he answered, theatrically offering his hand, before taking the lead.

you on the other hand, came home peacefully, although hot tears were streaming silently down your cold cheeks as you entered the apartment’s door and looked at the calendar, showing the date of march 20th. in a sudden wave of aggression you ripped it off, knowing that there’s nothing to be so pressed about: he had no duty of feeling the same way towards you, why would you even expect it?

you went on with your day, ordering takeout for dinner, snuggling up on your couch and rewatching a series, not granting your thoughts access to yourself, and it was really going well, until you heard the doorbell ring.

“nobody’s home” you yelled, assuming it was either atsumu or bokuto on their way to cheer you up, and they’ll probably let themselves in as soon as they hear your voice, but that didn’t happen. instead, the doorbell kept on ringing. “ugh, just come in!”

they didn’t come in, so you lifted yourself off the couch and walked over to the door, opening it and gasping a tiny bit when instead of your dumbass friends holding McDonald’s you saw a one hundred and ninety two centimeters tall figure of a man, struggling to catch his breath, leaning on your doorframe, his black coat unbuttoned, cheeks red, eyes puffy and hair in a mess, not even gelled into place as they always are.

“can i help you?” you asked in a cold manner, voice sending daggers into his poor, confused heart, as he finally looked up to meet your glance, an apologetic look in his eyes when he tried to form a sentence.

“i think i can... no, way, i think i might...” he kept struggling, to which you only rolled your eyes, waiting for the continuation of that sentence.

“spit it out, sakusa” you stated, sending shivers down his spine with how annoyed you seemed.

yeah, spit it out, sakusa, he thought to himself before taking a breath and finally speaking up correctly:

“i think i might be in love with you.”

your eyes widened for a second as you tried to find evidence of honesty in his expression, tone, voice, because you definitely didn’t believe his words.

his heart dropped when you scoffed.

“i don’t need your pity”

that’s when it hit him:

omi doesn’t like to spend his birthday without you. you make it not only bearable, but fun.

in fact, he never wanted to spend it without you again. and as that realization made it’s way into his brain, he caught you closing your door.

“i respect you too much to pity you” he spat out as he placed his hand in between the door and the frame, making you unable to close it, even if you wanted to.

and there was the honesty you looked for.

“then why—” you started to wonder, but he shook his head before interrupting, a helpless look across his face.

to lay back in the arms of someone

“i’m afraid of... of this, okay? i’m afraid of falling in love, if this is any explanation for you. it’s like... you make me feel as if i’m on the top of the world” he laughed nervously, making you raise your eyebrows, before continuing “and it’s fucking scary to imagine falling from that high”

you give in to the charms of someone

his glance wondered all over your face to find crumbs of understanding, scared you’d laugh his confession off, a grimace of worry replacing the insecure smile painting his lips, and he was just one step away from shouting “i’m telling the truth!” at you, but you cut him off by opening your door fully, and welcoming him inside with a warm smile on your lips, and a reassuring sentence on your tongue.

happy 23rd, kiyoomi

“i think i might love you back”

omi likes feeling loved.

the next year flew by on both of you pushing each other’s limits, challenging each other like the both of you always needed, being there for each other, finding out how nice it feels to have someone there. it was coming home with a sore throat after a night of yelling “one more point, omi-omi!”. it was carefully intertwining your pinkies together while shopping without even realizing. it was awkward dates, because the label “date” always changes the atmosphere. it was taking weird selfies, it was having to part for out-of-town games and facetiming from hotel rooms. it was butterflies in the stomach and a ball of fluff in mind.

it was everything.

the first year of your official relationship flew by in no time, kiyoomi finding new joy in his birthday since now it was really a day to be remembered, marking your anniversary.

and just as you got home to his apartment after dinner, ready to unpack all the fanmail once again, the janitor of the building stopped you.

“sakusa-san, there was a flower delievery for you” he sighed, going towards a locked shelf and coming back with a bouquet, at which kiyoomi stared for a whole five seconds before you decided to take it.

“thank you for taking care of it” he muttered with a slight bow, you pushing him to go up the stairs. “who’s it from?” he’d ask you a minute later, halfway through the staircase.

“don’t you wanna check yourself?” you asked, but he frantically shook his head.

“check it for me, please”

omi doesn’t like flowers.

you nodded wordlessly before checking a card.

“well if i’m not mistaken this is your surname” you furrowed, struggling to read the handwriting. in your defense, the kanji for “sakusa” are quite complicated.

he looked over at the text before admitting “yeah, that’s from my aunt, she insists on sending those ever since i got into MSBY” he finally got to his door to unlock it “kinda sad how she didn’t even bother writing a text before” he chuckled, making you want to throw the flowers away.

you knew he considered them worthless if that’s the story behind the nice gesture.

the apartment door remained opened, but he didn’t enter, you almost stumbled over him, focusing on the note, and glanced over to see what caught him attention and prevented him from going inside.

“this is your surname, for a change” he stated, showing you a buffy envelope over his shoulder, but didn’t let you take it when you tried. instead he opened it himself, a neatly wrapped package inside, with a note at the top:

i wore glowes making it! i swear!

there was a typo in gloves, and the writing style could use a little work on it, but that didn’t affect kiyoomi at all, as he was hypnotized with his package after noticing your surname on it. he carefully opened it, to find a keychain, made from cubes, as the ones used in different boardgames, on every one there was a letter or a number, together forming the writing “kiyoomi 15″ with a heart at the end. it was all on a black string, and almost shined with how many times it was wiped before sending. after holding it in his hand for a while, he noticed another card at the bottom of the package, taking it out and reading out loud:

“please take care of my sibling. happy 24th!” he uttered in sheer amazement, as he grazed his fingers over the delicate ornament, before wordlessly going inside the apartment.

you followed him, closing the door behind you, worried about his reaction about your little sibling’s present, only to find him crouching before his couch, his training bag laying there as he tried to attach the keychain to the it’s zipper, smiling when he managed to do so.

before he got to turn around to face you, you managed to take a photo of him smiling at the newest addition to his training gear, and send it to your family with a caption:

omi likes personalized stuff.

over all the years of knowing kiyoomi, you’ve learnt so much about him, his life, his habits, everything. you knew him inside and out, and so he knew you. you’re laughing at your confusion and fear while you were buying his first birthday gift, as you sit on the floor in your shared apartment, plotting his 25th, biggest yet gift, as if he isn’t about to walk through the door, coming back from practice.

it’s almost ridiculous, how you struggled, wondering if he’d even like a gift, when right now you have a whole list in mind:

although omi doesn’t like gifts, he likes little thougtful gestures. he doesn’t like fancy big words, but likes real, honest wishes he can really take to heart. he doesn’t like spending his birthday without you, he likes feeling love, doesn’t like flowers, but does like his gifts personalized and touching.

you realize all the moments in your relationship made you know his every emotion and expression, but you’ve never seen your precious boyfriend cry, ever.

and you decide to change that.

you’re gonna make him something that’s gonna mask all the memories of his birthday being forgotten, walked pass by, pushed into the back, and not properly celebrated. that’s gonna outshine every single gift he’s ever got. that’s gonna make him so happy, he’ll cry.

an idea pops into your head as you get a pen and start writing.

dear kiyoomi,

_______

“dear kiyoomi” you get to hear him say a couple of nights later, he reads it out on your plea, with a smile across his lips, as you, atsumu, bokuto, meian and hinata, as well as omi’s older siblings and komori and osamu sit at the table, a cake and two traces of his favorite cupcakes are taking all the space possible.

omi’s voice is colored with a couple of glasses of wine, so it’s easier to him to relax and genuinely grin at the paper as he’s reading, all part of your plan.

“when i first met you, the first thing i found out is that you’re a private person. not that i was freaked out or anything, but you did have, and probably you still do, a heavy aura around you that may have flustered me a tiny little— a tiny little bit? smiles, your hands literally shivered” he stopped to comment, making you roll your eyes at him.

“zip it and keep reading, birthday boy”

“... a tiny little bit, i agree. nevertheless, the first thing i actually felt, was that you striked my soul as someone weird. thanks, baby” he interrupted again, but you urged him to keep reading. “... weird in a way that made me feel like i’ve never felt before, the kind of safe and terrified at the same time. terrified of what, you might ask? well, kiyoomi, here i’d like to quote you. you once told me that me loving you is like i had the power to break you, and you loving me back was like giving me a map with all the points to strike at. well if that’s the definition of love we’re going for here, than i not only give you a map, i’ll grant you a whole GPS. the trust you put in me every day to not take advantage of what you’ve given me is inspiring, and hence, i surrender every single point of ressistance i’ve held against you, i’m yours to snap at a wish, and trusting you that you won’t do it is something i can spend my life believing in.”

at this point kiyoomi had to stop and take a deep breath and a sip of his wine before continuing, clearing his throat a bit, chocking back his emotion.

“... throughout my years by your side, i’ve memorized everything there is to memorize about you and gifts. you generally aren’t a fan, but you like them carrying a lot of thought, dedication, you like them meant exactly to you and to you only. you don’t want pointless blabbing and overused sentences, you enjoy sincerity. you need love radiating from them in order to truly acknowledge them as something special. now, the last thing i know is that you don’t like flowers, but i hope you won’t be too angry with me and with what i’ve prepared for you. enjoy, signed, your smiles” he finished, looking up at you, already moving towards the counter, grabbing a bouquet from behind it.

he watched in amazement as you handed it to him, taking it in his hands, realizing that-

it was a bouquet of origami flowers.

“please, y/n, this is so—” he tried to find the right words, but once again, nothing came to mind as he watched your careful work from every side possible.

“shh, there’s a special thing to them” you explained, sitting back in your seat, exactly in a straight line from him, watching every single change in his expression as he tried to find what you meant.

he realized every flower had a little card sticking out from it’s center, and pulled the first one, the closest one to him.

“the first reason i love you” he read in a weak voice, chuckling nervously again before he found the courage to read it out loud “you make me feel protected”

he looked up at you with such a gentle and caring note in his eyes that you almost didn’t want to encourage him to keep reading it, but you did.

“two. you don’t smile too much” after that he raised an eyebrow, but read the next one “three. ...but when you do, you outshine the sun itself. four. you memorized my coffee order within the first two times we’ve been to a caffee. five. you got supplies to redo my coffee order without going to the— hey i swear i didn’t mean anything bad by it!”

“that’s literally the reason they love you for, idiot” atsumu laughed, urgining him to keep reading with a hand gesture. “come on, this is adorable”

“six. you have a playlist with songs that remind you of me. yes, i know this, omi, we share a spotify account. seven. you claim you don’t like interacting with people, but let a little girl propose to you with a cereal ring in the park.”

“this is too cute, omi is a softie” bokuto whined, hiding his face in his hands, but sakusa only slapped them off.

“am not. eight. you keep a mental score of all the times you won over ushijima. nine. you take way too much pride in beating atsumu in service aces”

“true that!” atsumu shouted, hiding behind his glass.

“ten” sakusa shook his head. “you don’t enjoy PDA, yet gave me the kiss of the century when i met your mother, just to annoy her. eleven. your childhood photos are too cute. twelve. you blasted hopelessly devoted to you the morning after we— i’m not reading that, idiot!” he half laughed half whined, in a high-pitched voice.

“omi-san knows how it’s done, apparently” hinata wheezed, komori accompanying him.

“did i ask?” he rolled his eyes and went back to picking lines from the flowers. “thirteen, you tug the corner of my sleeves when you’re stressed in public. fourteen, you have me saved in your phone as your good luck charm. fifteen. you put my head on your chest when i can’t sleep at night, to calm me down. sixteen. you make me laugh when i’m sad. seventeen. you almost never intent to make me laugh, yet always do. eighteen. you always make sure i’m carrying all the emergency items all me at all times. nineteen. you make me call you when i get home from a party, if you aren’t there to pick me up. twenty, you always insist on picking me up from wherever i am, because you’re worried about me. i mean yeah, what kind of a boyfriend would i be if i weren’t?” he genuinely asked, half of the guest shaking their heads.

“come on, five more to go, you adorable, clueless idiot” motoya pat his back and looked over his shoulder to see your careful handwriting, before sakusa hid the message from him.

“twenty one. you make me not worry about my future. twenty two, you try to do all your little morning rituals in advance when you leave, so i don’t miss you too much. i still do. twenty three, you’re never afraid to be bluntly honest with me. twenty four, you always ask if you can hug me when i’m low or crying. and twenty five—” he stopped more suddenly than anywhere before, eyes visibly watering before he dropped his head down and his it in his arms.

“what’s on there?” several guys asked over themselves, as omi kept laughing slightly, hiding tears in the sleeves of his fitted shirt.

“you’re gonna be the death of me” he murmured into the material, making everyone laugh, including you, who decided to walk over to him and hug him, resting your head on his, taking advantage of the fact that he was sitting and you could reach it.

after a moment of weakness, he showed his red and slightly puffy face, two trails of tears fitting his smiling expression as he struggled to say

“twenty five. you make me prouder and prouder every day.” he kept laughing through his tears, really trying to hide his emotion and failing miserably. “you really did try to make me cry on my birthday, didn’t you?” he looked up to you still embracing him.

“i suppose i did”

“well then, i’m gonna outshine you” he said, shifting in his seat in order to get up, wiping the last remains of tears from his face.

“what do you mean?” you asked, met with his confident smirk.

“you’re gonna see in a bit, trust me” he huffed, dusting off his pants’ material on the knee level, and reaching over to his pocket, in his hand a tiny, little box.

with a little more than an origami flower.

#haikyuu sakusa #sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi #hq fanfic #hq prompts #hq scenarios #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x gender neutral reader #sakusa x reader #kiyoomi sakusa x reader #sakusa fluff #fluff #hq fluff

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sinner-as-saint · 4 years

Text

You Were Made To Be Mine - 2.

Pirate!Bucky x Mermaid!Reader

Part 2 of this series

Run-through: Bucky is one of the greatest pirates ever known. Living peacefully in his vast and flourishing archipelago; filthy rich and respected by all those around him. He is the leader of his people and his massive fleet, and is viewed as no less than a king by his crew and the people on his lands. He, however, has a secret that he keeps from everyone. The infamous and brawny pirate has lost his heart to one of the most beautiful creations he’s ever seen – you. Ever since the moment he saw you, he knew that you were meant to be his. But he belonged to the earth, you to the ocean. Could love and resilience somehow find a way to unite two worlds?

Themes: mermaid!reader, mythological elements, pirate!bucky, fluff, angst

Bucky had never experienced heartache before.

But right now, as he was sat alone on the rock where he usually met up with you at nightfall, he concluded that no pain was more terrible than the heartache he felt when you didn’t show up at your regular meeting spot one night.

His throat hurt given he had called out your name so much and so loudly for the past hour or so. Usually, whenever he called, you’d show up within seconds. But today, it had been over an hour and there was no sign of you. Fear, worry, guilt and pain – it all hit him right in the face like a harsh wave.

“Where are you, my little pearl?” he murmured to himself in his hoarse voice as he sat on the rock alone, sulking and missing you so terribly he felt physically sick. Now he understood why the saddest lovers wrote the most devastatingly beautiful poems because right now Bucky felt overwhelmed by emotions he didn’t know one could feel and if he had a pen and paper in hand, he would write the most melancholic of poems while he pines for you as well.

My little pearl… Bucky chuckled sadly at the nickname he gave you a while ago. It started when one day you brought him the prettiest shell you had ever found, and inside it was a lovely, shiny little pearl.

“Isn’t it the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen?” you had asked, excitedly showing him what you had found that day.

Bucky nodded. “It is pretty, but not more that you.” And since, he loved how you blushed and hid your face each time he called you ‘his little pearl’ after that. And given the ocean was your home, the nickname was very fitting.

The fear settled in not long after. What if you were lost somewhere and you couldn’t find your way back? What if you were injured? What if you were lost and injured and couldn’t call out for help? What if… what if you had found a merman and decided to stay because Bucky wasn’t worth it? He knew he was being ridiculous but he couldn’t help but think so.

No!

Bucky’s possessive nature took over and he was going crazy with each passing moment spent in your absence. His anger soon morphed into complete and utter sadness. And he was miserable. He had seen you just a day ago, but he missed you terribly already. Your hair, your soft lips, the vibrant colors of your tail, your warm but damp hugs; all of you.

He stayed put there for the entire night, alert and waiting. But you didn’t show up. Bucky waited until dawn, and he rowed back to his island; sad and heartbroken. Did you leave him? Were you lost? Did you find someone else? Were you injured or trapped somewhere because of your obsession with that mythical potion?

If it weren’t for Steve running into him as he made his way home, Bucky would’ve shed a tear or two. That’s how much he was hurting.

“You look like a mess.” Steve pointed out. “Where have you been?” he asked, clearly seeing that something was wrong with Bucky.

Been waiting for the love of my life to show up at our usual meeting spot, but she didn’t come. I don’t know if she’s mad, or in trouble or hurt, or all of that. “Just out.” Bucky replied and made his way to his home, in desperate need for some hours of sleep.

Nightfall came again and Bucky rowed back to the isles at around midnight. He didn’t find you on the rock like he always did, again. He didn’t see the flicker of excitement of your fins as he got closer. He didn’t see you. And his heart felt like it was being torn apart.

He called out your name again. And again. And again like a madman. But you didn’t show up. Bucky waited on top of the rock again, looking up at the starry night sky and drowning in his sadness. Then out of nowhere, he heard the soft splash of water he knew all too well.

“Sweetheart, is that you?” he sat up straight and looked around; alert again. He heard the splash again. And the spark of hope inside him which was fading out, came to life again. With the help of the burning torch by his side, he could see quite well.

And then he saw it. The shiny tail, the silky fins and the beautiful face he was madly, dangerously and hopelessly in love with.

“Y/N!” he called out your name and didn’t think twice before jumping in the water and met you in the middle as you made your way to him. You had the biggest smile on your face as he swam towards you. He threw his arms around you and held on to you to keep himself afloat but also to hold you as close to him as possible.

You giggled at how he behaved almost like a little child, clinging to you for dear life. You wouldn’t lie, supporting the muscular man and yourself above water was a little hard. But you welcomed his almost suffocating embrace without any complaints because you had missed him terribly and you were aware you hadn’t come to meet him yesterday so you had to make up for it.

“I missed you!” you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders and your lower body worked extra hard to keep the two of you above the surface.

Bucky almost shed tears, he couldn’t believe you were here in flesh and blood, not a fragment of his imagination, but the real you. “Never disappear like that ever again, you hear me?” he sounded relieved and angry and heartbroken all at once as he chided you but also held you like you were the most precious thing in the world.

“I won’t, I promise. I’m sorry.” You whispered in his ear, pushing your face into the crook of his neck and relished his warmth. The water was cool, so his body heat felt heavenly. Bucky pulled away and swam on his own for a bit, realizing that he had shifted all his weight onto you earlier.

“Where the hell were you?” he sounded hurt. “I was waiting, I waited the whole night.” He recalled how upset he was last night and you felt guilty for not showing up.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t explain why you didn’t show up! Where were you?” he wasn’t going to let you go without getting the truth out.

You hung your head down in shame and guilt. And Bucky knew what that look meant. “Come on up.” He swam over to the rocks and climbed up, thinking you were right behind him. But when he turned to look at you, he found you still in the water. He frowned. “Sweetheart, come on up.” He held his hand out for you. You swam a little closer but stayed in the water.

“I’m… I’m good here actually.” You tried your hardest to convince him but he didn’t buy any of it. He raised an eyebrow at your words.

“You don’t want to come up on our rock?” he sounded confused. And you couldn’t help but faintly smile at how it was ‘our rock’.

You shook your head gently. “No, I’m fine here.” You lied.

Bucky sighed in frustration. “Okay, just…” he exhaled loudly. “Tell me what’s going on, okay? Because first you disappear out of nowhere, then you come back a day later and act like this. What is going on?” he had the right to be a little mad. Hell, if he just disappeared out of nowhere like that you would be pretty upset as well.

You kept your head hung and decided to just be honest and tell him truth. So you began; you told Bucky about how you went to search for the potion. And how you accidentally found yourself in unknown, deep, dark and dangerous waters; far from home. And how you got lost for a long while, and almost became the meal to larger predators. And how you escaped, but were injured because one of them chased you and almost sank its teeth completely into your tail. You told him how you returned home; worn out, injured and bleeding and unable to swim properly. One of your siblings tended to your wound as soon as you got home but the pain was so bad that you passed out for hours and only woke up a few minutes ago.

Bucky listened attentively. Each new piece of information about the terrible situation hit him like a violent storm; leaving him breathless and mind blown in the worst way. So his gut feeling had been right all along; you were indeed lost and hurt so far away from him. And had things turned out just a little differently, he would perhaps never see you again.

Bucky remained quiet even when you were done talking, sheepishly filling him in on all that you did and all that happened to you. You knew a long lecture about your safety was coming sooner or later. But honestly, this time you deserved it. Then again, you were doing this for both of you. You were desperate to be part of his world and share this life with him, and you couldn’t do so until you were able to walk the ground he walks on.

After a few long minutes of silence, after processing all of it, he spoke up, “Let me see it.” He asked, referring to the wound you had gotten.

You got to the sandy shore and waited for Bucky to approach you with the burning touch in his hand. He squatted down beside you and inspected your tail thanks to the light provided by the torch. He found the wound at around the middle of your tail. A long, irritated and bloody gash. Part of which was wrapped in algae; he remembered you telling him that some algae were used as medicines by merpeople.

His demeanor changed as soon as he saw the wound. He felt guilty, because he was the initial reason why you were chasing after this potion. In some ways, although indirectly, he was the reason why you were hurt and he almost lost you forever had it not been for luck or your extreme survival skills and courage.

“What was it?” he asked, his voice was calm but it didn’t hide his anger nor his guilt completely.

“I didn’t see. It was too dark down there. But it was big and scary and loud.”

You could feel something bad was coming. A gut feeling, or something told you that something was going to happen soon which would hurt you a hundred times more than the wound on your body. Bucky planted the torch on the sand, a few feet far from where you sat, and he plopped down next to you. And something told you he was gathering the courage to say something which was going to break you.

Truth is, he was hurting. Hurting so bad that he wanted to scream and shout and beg someone, anyone, to make it stop. Like a thousand cuts, open and raw and bleeding – the pain was indescribable. He almost lost you, and he was going crazy just thinking about it. His head was almost dizzy and his heart was racing. He wasn’t thinking straight. All he knew was that he was the reason why you could’ve gotten killed and worse part is, if you did – he would never know.

“I can’t risk losing you.” he said, looking down at the sand beneath him.

You watched him intently. It always amazed you how perfect his side profile was. Perfect lips, perfect nose. Only today, his pretty eyes were sad. “You’re not going to. I’m fine. I came back, didn’t I?”

“Yeah but you also almost got eaten by some mysterious sea monster. And if you did, that would be on me.”

Oh no… you knew where this was going. “But I didn’t. I-,”

He cut you off quickly. “I love you, alright? I love you and I never knew it was humanly possible to love someone this much. But Y/N, I can’t sit here and watch you try to get yourself killed over something which probably doesn’t exist!” he paused, chest heaving as he tried to contain his emotions. “What if you go out there tomorrow and this time you didn’t come back? What then?”

You hung your head down as the image of a heartbroken Bucky filled your head. “What happened yesterday isn’t going to happen again. I know what to look out for now.”

“Do you?” he asked calmly, trying to make you realize that this was wrong. “You need to get this myth and give up this crazy obsession, you hear me? Why can’t we be normal and happy without it? Why can’t we just-,”

You cut him off rather coldly. “Because look at us!” you raised your voice a little. “There’s nothing normal about us! We can’t be anything more than this without it, it’s our only hope, why don’t you get it? We both want the same thing, Buck. I need to be with you, I want to. And this will-,”

He shook his head and then turned to you, “Can’t you see what’s happening? You almost got killed because of it!” he was getting hyper too.

You waited a little while before answering, trying to read him. “Not being with you is killing me as well.”

That broke him.

His anger vanished into thin air. “Come here, my little pearl.” His voice softened as he carefully pulled you onto his lap. Your tail rested sideways on his lap and you placed your head on his shoulder while his wrapped his arm protectively around you. “You got hurt because of me.” He stated softly.

You sighed and persisted. “No.”

He pressed his lips to the side of your head. “Yes, and that can’t keep happening. I won’t allow you put yourself in danger on my account.”

No… “Please don’t leave me.” You pushed your face into the crook of his neck to hide your tears. “Please.”

He sighed. “Can you promise me you will stop looking for that thing?”

“No.” You held on to the hope with all your heart that you will find it one day. You knew you were really close to finding it too, you couldn’t possibly give up now. Besides, once you did you and Bucky could be together forever without the barrier of physical differences and that was the only thing which mattered.

Bucky sighed in frustration. “This makes me feel so selfish. And guilty. And just overall terrible. You’re putting yourself in danger, you’re getting chased by predators, and you’re getting hurt and all for what? Me?” he paused and pulled away to look at you. “I love you that way you are, you don’t have to change for me. Just stop looking for this thing.” He sounded much calmer than before.

This was another fear of yours. How long would he be indifferent to the fact that you both were of different kinds? “A few years from now, you’re gonna want a wife. You’ll want kids, and a family. And I wouldn’t be able to give you any of that.”

“I don’t want any of that if it’s not with you.”

You sighed. He did too. Then he made a decision which hurt him more than anything. The sight of you wounded was heartbreaking. And he didn’t want to find you with a bigger wound the next day, or worse, he didn’t want you to lose your life. He would rather you live the rest of your life safely, without him, rather than risk your life trying to be with him.

“I have to let you go, my love.” he whispered the words you wished you hadn’t heard. You immediately circled your arms around him tighter and sniffled, nuzzling his neck.

“Please don’t.” you whispered. Bucky let the tear fall finally, unable to hold it in. You spoke again, “Each day I wake up and find that more and more of my people are moving far from here. It’s just a matter of time before they all leave, leaving me behind.”

The thought of you all alone down there where he couldn’t physically reach you or protect you was no less than a nightmare. But that path that you’d have to go down just to be with him was scary as well, and it would hurt you. So Bucky convinced himself that he was doing this for your own good. He took a deep breath, feeling a lump forming in his throat. “I have to do this.”

You sniffled again, tightening your arms around him. “No. You can’t give up on me. You’re all I have, Buck. Please.” You pleaded. He kissed the side of your head and cradled your head gently like you were a fragile glass figurine.

“You can have a long and beautiful life ahead. One where you won’t have to leave your home, where you won’t have to change or chase after a myth or get hurt-,” he stopped talking when he heard a sob escape your lips. He pulled you closer and hugged you tighter.

“No.” you cried, wetting his skin with your warm tears.

He tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

“I love you, more than anything. And I know I will never be able to love another. But for your own well-being, I need to let you go. Because although it will kill me each day, I would rather live with the relief that you’re out there alive somewhere rather than live with the guilt that you got yourself killed while trying to be with me.” Bucky tried his hardest to keep his voice steady. He couldn’t.

“Don’t leave me.” Another sob left your lips.

He sighed, his breath shaky. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you, I always will. But I can’t see you getting hurt like this because of me. This is for your own good.” He pressed one last kiss to the top of your head and carefully lifted you off his lap and set you down on the sand again.

He got up and your heart began racing much faster than earlier. You felt like you were about to pass out again. Your heartache morphed into rage inside of you, but you managed to contain it. “This is it then, huh? You’re just gonna leave me here like everyone else and forget me and move on with your life?” your sounded bitter and you had every right to be.

Bucky looked down at you and blinked his tears away. “I could never forget you. And I will love you till my dying day. Believe me, this isn’t any easier for me. But this is the only way to stop you from getting yourself hurt or killed. You need to let go of that madness.”

You chuckled dryly at his words. Borderline angry, borderline hurt. “You were wrong when you said you were selfish. You’re not just that, but you’re a coward as well.” Bucky watched how you wiped your tears and got back into the water. And before you swam away, you turned around to look at him. “If you change your mind, I hope you hurt just like you’re hurting me. But unlike you, I won’t be giving up on us.” You spat at him before you swam away as fast as you could.

As he watched you leave, he second guessed what he had done. He hoped you didn’t think that he loved you any less because you were different and belonged to a different world than him.

You didn’t think that way. And you knew he loved you just as much as you loved him but you had never expected him to take such drastic steps. You were hurting and before you knew it, you found yourself diving deeper. And while overthinking and bearing your heartache, realization hit a little later than usual and you found yourself swimming further and further away from home; into deeper and darker waters…

When Bucky got back home, he was greeted by his close friends all waiting for him in the well-lit dining room; all sat around the large, oval stone table with goblets in front of them. Bucky tried his hardest to greet them like he normally did.

“You know we can see right through your bullshit, right?” Sam spoke first. The rest of his friends stared at him and Bucky knew that they knew that something was up. They were the closest friends he had, they were family and he knew they could see right through him.

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked, trying to act cool and received a bunch of groans and sighs of frustrations.

Steve spoke up next, “You leave almost every day at midnight. You row to God knows where, then you come back at the crack of dawn. And now you look like you’re a sad trader who just lost all his ships.” Steve spoke almost teasingly, but his concern could be heard in his voice.

“We’re your family, you know you can tell us anything.” Thor spoke up next.

“What is it, Barnes? Tell us.” Okoye spoke after. She was the kindest, strongest woman Bucky had ever come across.

Bucky hesitated. Oh so they noticed? He was glad that they did, because that would make talking about it a little easier. Only the issue here was, would they believe him if he told them the truth? Or would they just think that he’s lost it?

“Bucky. Talk.” Sam was beginning to lose his patience.

Bucky took a deep breath as he took a seat at the table as well. He grabbed the nearby jug of wine and filled the goblet closest to him and took a long sip. Then exhaled loudly and began talking.

“It’s… a woman.” His first few words earned him curious looks and a smirk from Okoye. “Well, not exactly a woman but…”

Ten minutes later, Bucky finally finished filling his friends in on all that’s been going on for the past many months. He told them about his unusual love life involving you. And how things began getting complicated and then gave them necessary details about your recent break up. They listened with straight faces. And despite being a bunch who always joked around, they were surprisingly serious as he talked.

When he was done, his friends were all quiet for a whole minute. Then Okoye spoke up,“You broke that poor thing’s heart when she spent all this time loving you?”

When she put it like that, something shattered inside Bucky. “I… I love her and I couldn’t sit there and watch her-,” Bucky stopped talking as Okoye shot him a glare. And that glare spoke volumes so he immediately stopped talking.

“Don’t make excuses. You broke her heart.” Okoye said in her no nonsense tone. “She wanted to come live with you. Among us. What’s so wrong with that?”

Bucky answered quickly after taking another sip of wine. “There’s nothing wrong with that. But how could I support that decision of hers when it would only hurt her even more. And the worse thing is, even if she’s trapped somewhere down there, I would never know.” he took a deep breath. “What if she dies chasing this god damned potion? What about me then?”

His words did make his friends think some more. Maybe his intention had been right, but the way he dealt with the situation wasn’t so right.

Steve whispered under his breath, “Well, love really does make people go crazy.”

Bucky spoke up again. “She was so hell bent and obsessed with finding that nonsense that she wasn’t realizing she was putting herself in danger.” His chest heaved, his emotions choking him. “She shouldn’t have to change for my love. She should embrace who she is and live her life. And be safe and happy.” At this point, he began doubting his own words and actions.

Could he himself live without you? How long could he pretend that ‘doing the right thing’ wasn’t killing him already?

“Why are you so against the potion?” Thor asked.

Bucky ran a hand through his hair. “Because it doesn’t exist. It’s a myth, a legend.”

“How do you know?” Sam asked, leaning back in his seat. His brown eyes staring into Bucky’s blue ones. “Months ago merpeople were myths to you as well. Now you’re foolishly in love with one of them.” he reasoned.

Bucky got really quiet again and avoided everyone’s eyes. Had he… had he made a terrible, terrible mistake?

Steve spoke up, leaning his elbows on the stone table. “Look, all this potions and merpeople, this all just proves that there’s a whole other world beneath us that we know nothing about. We should respect them. For their own safety, and we could at least try and protect them by keeping this a secret just between us.” He paused then stared at Bucky, “What we shouldn’t do is break their hearts when they’ve fallen in love with us!”

Yup, he deserved that one.

“You said it yourself, family and friends first. She’s your girl, she’s family. The least you could do was trust her and not give up on her.” Sam said in a serious tone. “Besides, how can you say for sure that she’ll give up on trying to find that potion now?”

Well shit. He hadn’t thought about that. He froze, tensing up at Sam’s words. Shit, shit, shit.

“You should go apologize. Now.” Okoye suggested.

Bucky groaned and wanted to bang his head on the wall. “She took off. She’s mad at me.” He mumbled and his friends all rolled their eyes at him and groaned in annoyance, mainly at his stupidity.

Heeding his friends’ words, Bucky went to find you the next day at nightfall. Except he didn’t have to be sneaky this time because they all knew he was leaving. But when he got to the isle and called out your name, you didn’t show up.

And a bad vibe loomed around him and around the place. He knew immediately that he had indeed, majorly messed up. He shouldn’t have let go of you like that. He thought he was doing the right thing but turns out, he ruined the best thing in his life.

Bucky waited at the shore. Heartbroken and hurt and angry – at himself. He was just trying to keep you safe. But in doing so, had he just lost the love of his life? For good this time?

#bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #pirate!bucky #mermaid!reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fluff #marvel au #bucky barnes

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parkjess · 3 years

Note

Heyy, i saw you write for astro so could you do their reaction to you getting them couple rings and the other boys tease them about it??? And could you please do Sanha's a bit longer?? Thanks !!

Thank you for requesting!🥰

Myungjun:

You wanted to surprise your partner for his last musical show, besides the flowers you picked thanks to the other members that helped you. You woke up with the sunlight burning slightly your eyes through the curtains, Myungjun left earlier today for his final rehearsal, and you took this opportunity to buy him another small yet sentimental gift.

As the evening approached, you called the boys to come over and for all of you to go together to the show, not revealing the gift to them yet. The show ended quickly than you thought it will be, and you all waited for Myungjun to come to the backstage where he told you he’ll meet you in the end of the day.

“There he is!” Jinwoo says, Myungjun opens the door and within seconds your arms are all around his frame. -“Baby...” you mumble into the bear hug, having cheering sounds from the others, and the maknae line trying to imitate you both.

“We bought you something.” Bin speaks up, separating you from your beloved boyfriend, handing the bags of presents over to Myungjun. -“And here’s mine,” you say finally, you were the last one because you wanted it to be the most special, but it would be anyways since he loves you with all of his heart. You take his hand in yours, taking out the couple rings you bought this morning from its little box, Sliding it onto his finger and then on your own. The boys felt touched by your surprise, they started to make girly voices and call out both your and Myungjun’s names in excitement.

Myungjun smiled from ear to ear as he took a closer look at the ring. “Forever... with you.” He reads out loud, making your heart beat faster and the rest of the boys giggle and tap on his back teasingly.

Jinwoo:

“Babe?” You answer the phone, Jinwoo called you back since he couldn’t answer earlier. -“Hey~ I missed your voice babygirl, 21 missed calls, what’s up?” His husky voice heard from the other side of the phone.

“Can I come over? I have something to give you...” you say, holding the couple rings you bought earlier this afternoon. -“Uhm... yeah sure, I’ll be at the dorm in 15 minutes, but babe- Is there something wrong? Why did you call so many times?” He asks, as if he was suspencting something he shouldn’t have. “No no, everything is perfect, I just can’t wait for you to see what I got for you...oops- said too much, see you in 20, love you.” And with that, you were the first to hang up, your heart was beating fast as you ran to the closet to change and head out of your house.

Arriving at their place, you text Jinwoo you’re already nearby. -“Y/n! Come on in, it looks like it’s about to rain.” Dongmin calls out from the dorm’s window, closing it shut right after you smile and nod to him. “Hey~ baby... I missed you.” Jinwoo approaches you with a bear hug when the door opens by him, you actually were surprised to see them all there, thinking it will be just the two of you.

-“I missed you too...” you mumble into his embrace, while the rain starts to pour down the windows, covering it with a small amount of fog.

“I made you some tea, come have a seat with us.” He takes your hand and leads you to the table, where they all greet you with hugs and wide smiles. “Ah that... what were you so excited about to show me?” He says, taking a piece of your hair and placing it behind your ear. -“uh...” you stuttered, thinking about telling a white lie and give it to him when you two are alone since you feel embarrassed doing it in front of his friends, but they are your friends too.

-“I bought you a small gift...” you say quietly eventually, digging in your bag to find it, they were all curious about what you got for him. -“Here.” You say shyly and hand it to him, he glances at you with love in his eyes and opens the velvet sack. -“Mine is already here.” You show him your hand since you’re already wearing your ring, waiting for him to wear his. “Aww, couple rings.” Sanha squeals, looks a bit jealous.

“Thanks baby, I love it. I’m never taking it off from my finger.” Jinwoo says, kissing your forehead right after, causing the boys to get goosebumps and shout at both of you to stop the cheesiness.

-“This, was worth it.” You point at them and whisper to your boyfriend.

Dongmin:

Though he wanted to be the one to gift you couple rings, he was the happiest to receive it first.

It was on a Friday night, he was waiting for you near the company building since you were at work (/studies) all day, he decided to take you on a fresh air date to clean your head from the tough week you both had.

“Oh! Dongmin!” You wave at him from quite a far, but he could hear you almost clearly.

-“Hi baby~!” His lips stretch from ear to ear for a wide smile as he approaches you with his arms around your body, it’s kinda chilly so he warms you up.

“I got you something!” You squeal with excitement, taking it from the pockets of your hoodie. -“Ooh~ a gift from my baby.” He cups your cheeks and places a soft, quick kiss on your head. “Here.” You take his hand and slip the ring on his finger, putting the other one on yours right after. -“Couple ring? Baby, I love it. Thank you~” he ruffles your hair and says, hugging you again.

“Eunwoo-ya!” You hear Myungjun yell from afar, the others follow. -“Oh my...” your boyfriend mumbles, making you burst into laughter.

-“Hyung, look what y/n bought me.” Dongmin giggles, excited to show his friends the couple rings you got. “Oh! Y/n, do you read minds? Woah!” Myungjun replies as the other are curious just like you. You make a confused look and ask them both what is it about. -“Two days ago I told M hyung I want to get us couple bracelets.” You were shocked at your boyfriend and the fact he just didn’t tell you that but wanted to surprise you, meanwhile you did.

-“Aish you two are really soulmates.” Jinwoo adds, poking at Dongmin’s sides as a tease, he bursts into laughter that can’t be helped and the chaos starts.

Bin:

You are dating bin for couple of weeks now, he was your biggest crush and when he asked you out, it all felt like a dream coming true since he’s your first.

He took you out tonight on a date, the second one since the week had started. He’s that type of romantic, taking you out for dates he planned long ago, but never had someone to take to, and then finally god sent you to him.

He sends you roses every Friday since he has to stay at the dorms and you can’t spend the weekend together, he writes poems about you, and the dates with him are never boring.

“Y/n...” he calls you with his soft voice, rubbing his neck nervously. -“Yes?” You look up at him, one hand is still on his neck as he breaths heavily and his other hand is in the pocket of his jacket. You stop near the closest building, which is their dorms. “Let’s sit here for a bit, I don’t wan’t to leave you yet.” He says shyly, giggles his slight nervous laugh and looks down, playing with a little rock on the ground with his foot.

-“I’d love to!” You both take a seat on the bench nearby, moving closer to him as he takes your hand in his and puts it inside the pocket of his hoodie. “I have something for you.” He suddenly says, after couple of seconds he just stared at the night skies, cold air hitting his face. -“Really? Woah, I have something for you too.” You say excitingly, surprised he also brought you a gift. “Oh, you go first.” He says and leaves your hand for you to hand him your present.

-“I’m a bit embarrassed though, but please accept it, it means a lot to me.” He holds it and takes the two rings with your names on it and wears his. “It’s so cute, thank you baby. will you let me?” He offers to put the ring on your finger as you smile at him, appreciating his features as suddenly a voice comes out of his phone.

“Bin-hyung? Are you proposing already?” Minhyuk’s voice is heard and you recognize it and immediately take it to listen clearly, both you and bin. “Hyung, I think y/n gifted him couple rings.” You hear sanha whisper in the background to minhyuk and you both start to laugh.

-“Sanha I always believed you do have something in your little brain.” You joke and laugh along with your chuckling boyfriend. “Ohh bin hyung! Woah! Couple rings... I’m jealous.” Minhyuk screams into the phone, being sarcastic.

“Aish... I’ll see you later. I’m hanging up.” Bin says and clicks the red button. You could notice his slightly red cheeks at this point that he didn’t try to hide.

“Where were we?” He asks and takes your hand again. -“Where you were all normal and not red yet.” You answer sarcastically and giggle, teasing your own boyfriend. “Imma leave with your present.” He threatens, until you lean in and place a kiss on his lips.

-“I don’t need no presents, you are the best thing god gifted me.”

“You really want to see me like a tomato again, huh?”

-“Yep.”

Minhyuk:

It was Halloween night, your friends decided to throw a small party at their dorm and film the whole thing, the idea which you really liked since you wanted to gift your boyfriend a small present you ordered long time ago, and kept it a secret from him.

It was finally his turn to talk to the camera, explaining about his costume which was completely not understandable yet it looked so good on him.

You stood behind him along wish Bin and Jinwoo so he couldn’t see you. The boys noticed you’re looking for something but said nothing, you suddenly take the cope that rested on the chair the whole time, wearing it on Minhyuk’s back, and lastly tying it beneath his chin. Once it was perfect, you took out a little jewelry bag from the pocket of your costume, wrapping your arms around his shoulders again, making him look at you.

“Baby.” He mumbles, trying to make you pay attention to the camera, but you ignore him, though you want to crash your lips on his since he was so close to your face with his.

You just take his hand, it was soft to your touch. -“Oh, y/n what are you doing?” Jinwoo asks surprisingly, everyone were focusing on both of you. You took his empty finger, sliding down the golden ring you bought for both of you. You are able to hear his heartbeat, slight heavy breathing, and the wide smile he had plastered on his beautiful face.

Minhyuk takes a closer look at the ring, as you put on yours on the same finger as his and go stand infront of him so he can see you. “Y/n...” he mumbles as he reads your name that was carved into the gold ring, next to the date you first met.

He lifts his head to look at you with glistening eyes and a spreading smile, the one that made you fall for him. “I love you.” He mouths as everyone around starts screaming and cringing as Minhyuk pulls you closer when he stands up, glancing at the ring You’re wearing with his name on it, and a little heart on the side.

“AISH~~ why do you have to be so cheesy?” Bin cringes and hits your arm playfully, making a sour face. -“Heyy Hyung~ don’t touch my baby.” Both you and bin were shocked at the soft side of Minhyuk he usually doesn’t show comes out of him.

Sanha:

It is your one year anniversary with your boyfriend, Sanha, and for all of this time you have been thinking about buying you couple clothes, or couple jewelry, but you never found yourself going to buy something cute that will match both of you. He isn’t the cheesy romantic type, but he always knew how to mark your month anniversaries well and enjoy them together.

This day is the one you have waited for the most, since it’s also Sanha’s birthday and the first day you became a couple exactly a year ago, when everything in your world was about to fall apart, he came and held you, mentally and physically. You decided to put all your effort in this day, no matter how tired you will end up being.

As the sun rose, you picked up your phone to check up on social media, noticing the calendar’s reminder that immediately made your smile appear. Next thing you did was not wasting any more time but calling Bin, Sanha’s best friend. “Hey, I need your help for tonight, do you think you can handle this until 7pm?” You said as you sent him a list of things you wanted to be ready until the evening, and couldn’t handle all by yourself. Luckily, Sanha left early to work this morning so he didn’t know anything. -“Sure, goodluck y/n.” Bin replies with his soft voice, promising he won’t say anything to the birthday boy who was on his way to meet him.

You got off bed to get this day started, your nostrils immediately caught the sweet scent of fresh pancakes.

With furrowed brows, you walk slowly to the kitchen to check if your smelling sense isn’t wrong, and it wasn’t wrong. There was a small post it note beside the tower of golden, smooth pancakes, you take a step closer and grab the note to see what it says.

Happy anniversary my baby, Sorry I couldn’t make a whole breakfast, but this was made from the bottom of my heart like my love to you. I love you, Your birthday boy.

A smile took a second to appear on your face as you folded the note and kept it inside your wallet, taking a bite from the freshly made pancakes, that were slightly cold because he made them about half an hour ago.

As the sunset approached, you took your time to write a handwritten birthday card for Sanha, and attached it to the velvety, jewelry bag, taking one last look at the rings you bought for both Sanha and yourself.

“Oh hey, is everything ready yet?” You answer the call in the speed of light as you saw Bin’s name on the screen, taking a bite from the morning’s pancakes. -“Y/n... I-“ he stuttered, sounds a bit worried, feeling like everything is already messed up, and the voices of the others in the background didn’t make it better.

“I’m coming over.” You reply furiously, feeling the blood rushing while boiling in your veins. You grabbed the only few things you need and ran out. It’s been 15 minutes and endless calls you denied from the boys until you reached their dorm.

“It’s me.” You knock (knock knock) at their door, hearing whisperes from where you stand as footsteps towards the door approach. Not a second into Bin opening the door and confetti is flying all over you, and apparently the birthday boy, Sanha.

-“Happy anniversary!” The boys scream, making you jump into your boyfriend’s arms. “Ya-aish... you know how pissed I was?” You attack Bin for the little prank they pulled on you. You look up at Sanha, wasn’t expecting to meet him on this special day like this, but every way and its own advantage.

“Happy birthday baby,” you scan his face, and then his hair which he just had dyed today to full black, “oh! Your hair...” you run your fingers through it, gaining some cringed sounds from Jinwoo and Minhyuk at the sudden affection.

-“Sanha-ya, your gifts.” Jinwoo reminds, “and the cake!” You complete him, having all of their eyes directly at your direction. “there is a cake, right?” You furrow an eyebrow. -“Sure... I’ll bring it.” Bin says, pushing the boys to the kitchen.

-“Happy anniversary baby.” Sanha says quietly to you as you rest your chin on his chest and look up at your cute boyfriend. “Happy birthsary, babyboy.” You make him laugh with a word you just made up, while wondering why the others take so long to bring the cake. -“My gift for you.” He leads you to the couch and hands you a medium sized box, wrapped nicely and tied with a little bow. You were about to ask him if he rather wait to the boys but it seems he enjoys being alone with you, well, not completely alone but that’s enough.

“Let’s open it together, this one’s for you.” You hand him the small jewelry bag, he takes it with the widest smile he ever had on his face, letting out a soft, shy giggle.

He was the first one to open the gift since you asked him nicely to, pulling the thread that kept the bag closed, taking a look inside as you hear the boys giggling around the corner of the living room, probably peeking at the two of you getting overwhelmed.

-“Y/n...” he calls your name softly after he pulls the rings out the velvety sack, reading whatever it says on both of them. -“I love it so much, thank you baby.” He says and you reach out your hand to him, he looks confused. -“What...?” Sanha leaves a confused laugh, taking your hand in his. “Wear it on my finger, dummy.” The moment these words come out from you, Myungjun exposes their “hiding” spot with his laughter and they all hit him on his elbow playfully.

-“Aish... M hyung~!” They complain, -“Sorry, keep going Yoon Sanha...” Minhyuk approves and makes you laugh at them.

Sanha turns his head back to you, staring deeply into your soul through your eyes while slipping the ring down your finger, making it feel like you just got married. “I love you y/n, thank you for everything.” He whisperes, yet loud enough for the boys to flinch with excitement, biting their own fists (lol). -“Get you a room later, let’s eat the cake now.” Myungjun says, making you laugh in embarrassment.

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shyinadarkplace · 3 years

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Bucky are you still there?

Summary: When their Soul bond is broken, the reader unable to bear the pain tries to end it all. The only question is will Bucky make in time to save her? (Please be kind this is my very first time publishing a work)

Pairing: Bucky x reader. *I do not own Bucky Barnes or Sebastian Stan or any of his works*

Word count: 5k (I am sorry I might have gotten carried away)

Back ground info: This is an AU where there are Soulmates. If the connection between soul mates is somehow broken the mates have usually at max four years before everything gets unbearable. Also Tony is alive.

Prompt: Mountains/Forest and the song “Jealous” by Labyrinth. I also included another song “Dark side of me” by Coheed and Cambria. There is also an original poem by me in there. *I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO USE ANY OF MY WORK AS A WHOLE OR IN PART, IN ANYWAY, ON ANY PLATFORM. *

Warnings: Proceed with caution. TRIGGER WARNING: There is mention of blood, extreme depression, suicidal thought and tendencies. That’s all I can think of, but please if you need help with any of the above mentioned things https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 1-800-273-8255. Please please reach out.

Title: Bucky are you still there?

Outside a winter storm raged deep in the Taiga, and while you were warm physically inside you felt just like that storm. You felt like the swirling mass of ice and snow, like the -54° C that currently raged outside your home. The added fire that sat blazing in front of you did little to assuage the pain that wracked through your chest. The ring on your hand glinted in the firelight. A familiar wave of heartbreak began crashing through you, even after all this time. When the much too familiar tears fell, another layer of ice layered around your heart. You stared into the fire and let your mind wander where it would, allowing your grief take its course.

Memory of your first meeting:

There was a pull in deepest part of your being. A tingling in the back of your mind. He was close. You could feel him brush across your consciousness like a gentle rain, and you returned the gesture. The room seemed to full of people why did Stark tower feel so crowded today? All you could do was stand frozen where you were running up a metaphorical flag screaming here I am. Your eyes quested searching desperately for someone doing the same, for the one who turned your spark into a firestorm. Suddenly there he was. Your eyes met and suddenly it was like you were falling, but gently, into warm blue eyes, into dark strands of hair and stubbly jawline. In man and muscle. Falling into him. Your feet were moving before you even realized it. Standing face to face with him, you felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest “Hello, I’m (y/n). I have been waiting for you.) Your voice barely above a whisper almost afraid that if you spoke to loud it would somehow be just a dream. “Hello doll, my name is James Buchanan Barnes. I am so glad you waited.” Thus began your world wind love affair with the Winter Soldier, Bucky, White Wolf. And it was perfect. You two were perfect for each other been through so many of the same things. It was like you had discovered the theory of everything right then and there.

“6 years ago. Can you believe it Benji. Just six years ago Earth was upside down as a planet, but personally I was in heaven. I had met my soul mate.” The big wolf hound/wolf mix just laid his big black head on your lap, offering the silent comfort he always did. “We were married for three years. It was like magic.” A fresh batch of tears ran down your face. It had been 3 excruciating years. 3 years of feeling utterly alone. You had heard what it was like when someone lost their soulmate, it was like they were a zombie. They lost some of their humanity. It was like when a clinically depressed person masked, they looked and sounded fine for the most part but something was just off. Most of the time when one lost their soul mate they died too, unable to carry on without them or unwilling too. So many times you had been tempted to walk out in weather like this and let the Taiga take you. So many times you sat staring into the flames and thought about ending it all. After all there were thousands of ways to die. It had been 6 years since what the world came to call the Endgame. Since something had snapped inside Bucky during that battle and he had vanished. The end of the third long and bitter year was coming up, a person can only take so much.

Memory: You were probably 100 yards away from him when it happened. You could feel something wrong with Bucky, you had to get to him and help him. You got distracted next thing you knew a long thick metal rod had you staked to the ground. You couldn’t move it was embedded too far in the ground behind you. So you fought on like that, on the ground taking blasters and weapons from anything you fought with as the Super serum running through your veins kept you alive, easing the bleeding. You kept fighting hoping somehow you would be able to get up to get to Bucky. Hot tears streamed down your face and a scream ripped savagely from your throat as suddenly the constant connection that you had with Bucky was gone. It was like it had never existed. All you could feel was an iron wall. Utterly impenetrable. You couldn’t tell if it was just the limit of your consciousness or if it was him somehow cutting you off. Or if the worst had happened. Then the world went black.

When Steve found you, you had passed out from blood loss. You were in a coma for a week due to the severity of the wound but you remembered your dreams and they were sweet.

In your dreams it was just after you and Bucky had gotten married. A week to the day actually. You had curled up beside him and asked you could read him something you wrote. He didn’t need to say anything. All of his attention focused on you. A blush crept up your neck as you read what you had written.

“You always looked like trouble but the very best kind.

Even before I knew what you looked like.

You looked like everything I wanted at 16.18.20.26.

You looked like whiskey and smoke before I even knew the taste.

You looked like a hot rod idling at a stop light.

You looked like my addiction before it developed. Like my favorite kind of pain.

I don’t know how but I always just knew, that your eyes where blue. Blue. Such a cool tone. The kind that reminds you glaciers or ice cubes against passion heated skin. Like Blue flames, that seemed to sear clothes off with a glance, and pool fire in my belly. And when you smiled I really knew you were trouble then. But the best kind. The kind I couldn’t live without. The kind that kept me breathing. When you smiled at me the first time, I was yours.

The first time with you…oh god it was like nothing before. I had spent so many hours over the years before I met you, day dreaming about my fingers in your hair, your hands blazing trails of fire against my skin. Your lips crushed against mine…

By the time you placed your hand against my cheek and started kissing me, it was like you had kissed me a thousand times before. By the time your hands caressed my skin in expectant reverence (a shock to my system) it was as though your hands had always known my skin.

When I touched your skin, I was in awe at the newness of the sensation and yet it was so familiar. As I felt like your hands had always known my skin, I felt I had always known yours.

That first time didn’t feel like the first time. It felt like we had been together since the beginning of time. I didn’t need to question anything, because we knew each other so intimately words were not needed.

No need for words because I knew where to kiss you, as if some instinct worked within me. Knew where to touch. Knew how to kiss you wherever my lips landed. Knew when to bite and when to soothe. I knew it because you had always been mine. I was made for you.

No need for words because you knew, knew when to be gentle, when to be firm, knew everything you needed to get me high. With you it was natural as breathing. You brought me back to life the way a smith does a cold forge. With you it was the first time but it felt as though we had been there a thousand, thousand times before.

When I first saw you it all became real, I had already spent years falling in love with the idea of being with you. In the ease and comfort and debauchery of your presence. Suddenly every dream I had ever had about my soul mate blazed into existence.

You looked like my addiction when it formed, like my favorite kind of pain. You looked like someone I had loved a thousand, thousand times. “

You two had been so tangled up in each other it was hard to tell where he ended and you began, the line between him and you blurred. You were in complete bliss. At least while you were sleeping.

Steve was there when you woke up. As soon as you saw him and not Bucky your heart began to fracture. It looked like he had been crying, like he had not been to slept. Everything inside you went cold. Your mind reached out for Bucky, for the comfort of your soulmate and touched…nothing it was like he was dead. But he couldn’t be right? Even though you felt like you were dead, with the only sign that you were alive being the beeping of the monitors in the room, he couldn’t be, right? But that is what it felt like because there was just…nothing like the connection had never been. You tried again and again to push past whatever was stopping you but it was no use because there was nothing for you to grab on to. “(y/n) you have to stop pushing against that wall. It won’t help.” Steve’s voice broke and he took your hands. “It won’t help, he’s gone and…and we don’t know where he is or if he is gonna come back. So you…you have to stop pushing and focus on you right now.” He wiped the tears from your face and gave his best smile, though it did little to ease the pain “You have to be stronger than ever. I know that I am asking a lot. But you’re his best girl and you gotta be ready to kick his ass when he comes back.” All you could muster was a small twitch at the side of your mouth. “If …I was his best girl…why’d he leave me Stevie?” you whispered so softly he could barely hear but damn if it didn’t break his heart.

Then it was dark again. This time there were no comforting dreams. Steve sat there by your bed and let his chest heave as he cried quitely. He cried for a lot of reasons. After a while he stood up, and left the room for the first time in days. He knew he would have to be there for you if you were gonna make it so it was time to get cleaned up and eat something, maybe try to catch some sleep. There was a long road ahead.

It was a whole day later when you woke up again. Steve was sitting in the window of your hospital room. “Hey Stevie… see anything good out there?” He jumped at the sound of your voice and grinned at you. “Hey there sweetheart, how are you feeling?” he said softly coming to sit next you once again. He took your hand and when he squeezed gently, you squeezed back. You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths. “Honestly? I feel like my insides have been scrubbed with sandpaper. I feel raw and bloody…I feel the most incredible pain and yet completely numb. But…” You paused trying to steady the sick feeling in your gut. You looked directly in Steve’s soft blue eyes and they offered a little comfort in their familiarity. “But…” you continued “I know I need to get out of this hospital bed. I need to regain my strength and take care of myself, because I know he is out there. I have to find him Stevie. Now I need you to tell me everything.” Steve nodded a slight grin coming to his face “I knew there was a reason you were meant for that punk. I will tell you everything but how about you shower, get changed and we get you some food first huh?” You sighed, it bothered you to put off the inevitable but you knew you probably smelled like a trash truck and you were hungry. So you did what Steve asked and you two had lunch together. For a couple hours you both pretended like all was right in the world.

When Steve finally started talking it sounded more like a debriefing and less like his best friend was missing, honestly though it was almost easier that way. Thinking of it like another mission rather than losing your soulmate. “Well, to be honest I can’t tell you a whole lot. All I know is that Buck and I were maybe 10 feet apart. Everything was fine. Everything was fine until it wasn’t. I can’t say what happened, one second I looked over and he was fine. He was Bucky. The next he was Winter Soldat. Then Tony snapped and the fighting stopped, but I lost sight of him. I guess once there was no enemy he just took off. We do know that he stole a Wakandan air ship, but he must have damaged enough of the important components to make it untraceable. We don’t know where he is. I can guarantee though that he learned from last time, we won’t be able to find him if he doesn’t want to be found.”

You took a deep breath eyes closed. The urge to just give up right then and there was almost overwhelming. You knew there were ways to kill a super soldier. Hell you had come pretty close to it in the past. “Sweetheart, don’t go there. We both know it won’t it won’t work.” Steve’s voice yanked you sharply from the dark thoughts that crept into your mind. You sighed “Yeah, I guess you are right Stevie.” There was nothing either of you could do, except move on. Survive.

After that you and Steve were as close as could be. When you couldn’t sleep you it always seemed like Steve was up to. If you needed comfort he was there. You did everything together. Both of you knew it wasn’t really healthy but at the same time it helped with the healing. You went to therapy and got mental help. You stayed combat ready. You continued blowing minds working with Tony and Shuri on tech. You picked up new hobbies like gardening, and painting and drawing. You did everything you could to keep yourself somewhat distracted from the hollowness that ate at you.

You never cried in front of anyone but Steve, but everyone knew. Even if they couldn’t hear the crying they could hear the music that came from your room. No matter the tune no one knocked when the soft static of your record player was on. You were living in the past, trying to cope the best way you could dancing alone to songs that you and Bucky loved. Listening to your past and his with every pop of the speaker. Sometimes Steve would stand outside your room with his head pressed against the door and just listen. He’d sway along with the music because it brought back memories for him too. Eventually he would feel guilty because he wanted nothing more than to go in and take you in his arms. Kiss you. Comfort you. Part of him believed that Bucky really was gone. Part of him didn’t think he even had a soul mate and he was so fucking lonely. But he never did. If anyone ever noticed, they never said anything.

A year had passed since Bucky left. A year you spent in therapy, spent pretending every god damn day that you didn’t want to just die so the pain would stop, clinging to Steve like a fucking life raft and Steve clung back. You both knew it wasn’t healthy but you needed each other in ways that other people couldn’t understand. Steve was the only other person who really knew Bucky. Who could understand the things that you had went through. Who was just as lonely as you. Steve was your best friend. The day after the one year Painaversary, something incredible happened. Steve finally met his Soulmate. It hit you like a slap in the face from Hulk. You had already lost your Soulmate but now you had to lose your best friend too.

Steve sat on the edge of your bed staring daggers in to the floor. He kept his eyes down when you came out of the bathroom. “Hey there (y/n/n). You wanna tell me why you have what’s the word ‘ghosted’ me for the past week.” His voice was cold and harsh. Not what you expected. Not that you had been expecting Steve to be sitting on your bed when you came out of the shower but the tone he used was the more shocking thing at the moment. “You know why Stevie.” You said moving quietly to get dressed, unable to bring your voice above a whisper. He didn’t look up until he heard a soft sob. You were standing fully clothed in Bucky’s sweats and a worn t-shirt, with your head against Bucky’s dresser. “You know why. Just because Soulmates can’t be unfaithful doesn’t mean this is okay, Stevie.” In his heart he knew you were right but it killed him, gently he picked you up, turned off the lights and tucked you into bed. Then like most every night before he climbed in behind you. His body heat a silent invitation more of a pull like a magnet, one that you couldn’t resist right now. So you snuggled into his arms your back against his chest. As he wrapped his arms around you, he whispered voice rough with emotion, “This doesn’t have to end (y/n/n). “You knew what he was trying to do. “Stevie. It’s okay. We’ve been holding on to each other so tightly because we both were drowning. You can’t make Janey hurt. It’s okay. We will still hang out, but no more late nights like this.” It hurt to say. If it was possible he pulled you closer and held you closer. His heat wrapped you up like another blanket. You sighed. He just nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. He could feel your tears on his arm as he held you. Why did it feel like his heart was getting shredded? For a while there was silence. “Stevie?” “Yeah sweetheart.” “I miss him so much, this hurts so fucking bad. Why did he leave me? I wish I would have just died there. It would better than this.” You curled up in a ball, trying to make yourself as small as possible, hoping somehow it would help. Steve sat up, propped all the pillows behind him, picked you up like you were a child and tucked you safely against his chest. The sobs and half screams that tore from your throat brought tears to his eyes. All he could do was hold you, stroke your hair, kiss the top of your head and whisper “I know sweetheart. I know. I’m here. I got ya. We’ll find him I promise. We will make all of this right. I promise.” Eventually there were no more tears to cry and you relaxed. Your voice was hoarse when you whispered “I was to move to the Taiga.” “Alright sweetheart we will make it happen.”

A month later you had everything you needed to move. Tony had help you engineer a sort of mini arc reactor that supplied your home with 100% clean energy, and all of the wood used to build your house and furniture (which admittedly was a lot) was sustainably farmed, all of the pipes that brought water to the house from the lake had all been lain with minimal disruption to the landscape.

Stevie was the one who came along and helped you actually build the little house. It had two bedrooms, a kitchen and living room. It was a cozy little place, all the modern amenities but an old time feel. Plus you had your 1945 Jeep and a snowmobile. You had everything you needed.

You and Steve held hands as you stood back admiring the house one last time.

“Looks good sweet heart. You sure you are gonna be okay out here?” His voice was light but the concern was evident by the gentle squeeze he gave your hand.

You heaved a deep sigh “Yeah. Yeah. I think I will be fine. I feel better here and now than I have since he left. I promise I will keep in contact. I mean how could I not according to Tony I have my own satellite.” You returned the squeeze of his hand to reassure him. Gently he pulled you into a great bear of a hug. You were pretty sure if you hadn’t been a super soldier he probably would have broken you, you just laughed and hugged him back. “I want you to know I love you (y/n/n) and hell I’m going to miss you. So please be safe and if you need anything call, okay?”

“I love you too Stevie, I will miss you too. I promise I will call okay. Hey you better get going you got places to be.” He held you for a moment longer, kissed the top of your head and said “Yeah you are probably right. But before I do I have one more thing for you.” He goes over to his jeep and pulls out a box with holes in it. As soon as he sets it down you open it, to be greeted by the most adorable ball cute you had ever seen in your life. You picked it up finding that it was a puppy. “Janey picked him out for you. He is probably going to be huge, but she thought he would be perfect to keep you company out here.”

“Tell her I said thank you. I think this is just what I needed.” You said cuddling the sleeping puppy to your chest. Steve nodded and smiled. You watched as he went and started his jeep and drove away. You felt as close to content as you could with your heart in ribbons.

Present

By the time you snapped back to the present the fire was low. Benji was asleep at your feet and the howling outside had stopped. You decided to grab some coffee, bundle up and go outside to watch the night sky. It was breath taking. The Northern Lights danced and swayed shifting colors as they went. The stars shone brilliantly uninhibited by light pollution. You sipped your coffee and mindlessly started to hum as you watched the night.

No one knew you could sing. All evidence destroyed from your operative days, no one knew except Bucky. Your heart swelled and your eyes closed. You lifted your face toward the sky and started to sing and you thought it was fitting when the words only came to you in Russian, while the one person you wanted to hear was god knows where. Still he was the one you sang for…or perhaps you sang for the memory of him.

“Я завидую дождю. (I envy the rain)

Он падает на вашу кожу (It falls on your skin)

Он ближе, чем мои руки.(It’s closer than my hands)

Я завидую дождю.(I envy the rain)

Я завидую ветру (I envy the wind)

Она течет сквозь твою одежду (it flows through your clothes)

Он ближе, чем твоя тень. (it’s closer than your shadow)

О, я завидую ветру(oh I envy the wind)

Я завидую ночам. (I envy the nights)

Которые я не провожу с тобой (which I can’t spend with you)

Интересно, с кем ты лежишь рядом? (I wonder who you lay next to)

О, я завидую ночам. (oh I envy the nights)

Я завидую этой любви (I envy this love)

Любовь, которая была здесь. (this love that was here)

Осталось поделиться с кем - то еще (left to share with someone else)

О, я завидую этой любви (oh I envy this love)

Потому что я пожелал тебе всего самого лучшего. (Because I wished you all the best)

Все, что может дать этот мир.(all this world can give)

и все же ты меня бросил. (still you left me)

но мне нечего прощать.(but there’s nothing to forgive)

Но я всегда думал, что ты вернешься и скажешь мне, что все, что ты нашел, это ...

(but I always thought you would come back and tell me all you found was…)

Горе и страдания(grief and suffering)

Мне трудно сказать, я завидую этому пути.(its hard for me to say, I envy the way)

Ты счастлива без меня (you are happy without me)”

Your voice broke as the last note sounded. Subconsciously you reached for ghost of the connection you shared with Bucky. For a moment you almost thought you felt something brush back. Tears welled up as you fell to your knees in the snow. You couldn’t take it anymore. A scream of pure anguish ripped through your body.

After a moment you collect yourself and took the knife you always carried from its sheath. You stripped off your coat and laid it on the ground. Rolling up your sleeves you smiled softly thinking that maybe once you were gone in a way you would be with Bucky again.

There was no hesitation as you drove the knife blade into the pulse point of your wrist and slashed up, not waiting to repeat the process to the other side. You lay on your back and gaze up at the sky. In the distance you hear a motor. No it couldn’t be. Felt something brush against your mind. You smiled at the thought of your brain trying to make you fight. You knew it was going to take a bit longer to bleed out since it was so cold. You didn’t mind it would be over soon anyway.

You weren’t sure how much time passed, but your eyes started to feel heavy. Black started creeping into the edge of your vision. You let out a sigh finally.

“(Y/N/N)!!!!!!!! NOOOOOO (Y/N/N) PLEEAASSEEE!!!”

You could see a blurry figure coming toward you. You knew that voice. It was like they were moving in slow motion and talking underwater. But that couldn’t be right.

Suddenly you heard that stupid motor again. Then something touched your skin. For a moment you felt fireworks. You opened your eyes. “Fuck (y/n/n) please hold on. I am so sorry doll. I’m so sorry, please don’t go. Please.” Bucky’s voice rang in your ears like a call to prayer. “Baby girl please.” His voice was hoarse and choked up. Barely able to speak through the lump in his throat at the sight of you.

You forced your eyes open and took in the sight of him for what would probably be the last time and whispered “Buck?” Then the world went dark as a scream that was like the torture of a thousand hells ripped and tore through the landscape.

In the aftermath a melody played

"In those discouraging days

I always missed the mark When we were comfort and close I would neglect to keep

Oh, you safe and unexposed A portrait of time repeats This moment now replaced With an empty wish to give I give, I gave

I gave my everything For all the wrong things In this cold reality I made This selfish war machine

Oh, this has become hell How can I share this life With someone else? I promise you There is no weight that can bury us Beneath the ghosts of all my guilt

Here in the dark side of me Here in the dark side of me

Now in your absence I wade Through the coursing, lonely, lost And in this tragic dismay I never could believe what I became

I gave my everything For all the wrong things In this cold reality I made This welcomed war machine

Oh, this has become hell How can I share this life With someone else? I promise you There is no weight that can bury us Beneath the ghosts of all my guilt

Here in the dark side of me Here in the dark side of me Here in the dark side of me Here in the dark side of me

Oh, I couldn't give you What you needed It's all my fault Too coward to believe I lost it all

I gave my everything For all the wrong things In this cold reality I made This selfish war machine

Oh, this has become hell How can I share this life With someone else? I promise you There is no weight that can bury us Beneath the ghosts of all my guilt

Here in the dark side of me Here in the dark side of me"

"Buck are you still there? I don't want to die."

#@imanuglywombat #@littlefreya #first ever posted fanfic #please be kind #would love feedback #bucky barnes x reader

63 notes · View notes

sundimus · 3 years

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Doki Doki Literature Club Secret Santa gift for the @ddlcgiftexchange for @maxcaulfield! Can also be read on my ao3. /// - - - ///

Monika missed Sayori. It’s not like she’s clingy or anything, and it’s not like Sayori is dead - god forbid. But she hasn’t shown up to school at all today, and being surrounded by people whose names and personalities belong to a wind Monika has no right to drift along with makes Sayori’s absence seem much more prominent. She wonders if her girlfriend - wow, that’s still so weird to say - is sick. It’s the middle of Winter and there’s been snow every day for the past few weeks. She’s surprised that she herself hasn’t gotten even a hint of a cold yet, considering how prone she is to seasonal changes. Best to not look a gift horse in the mouth, she thinks. She makes a plan to visit Sayori after school today. If she is sick then it can’t hurt to visit and keep her company while she recovers. Maybe she’ll have enough time to stop by the small cafe that’s a few blocks down the main road and pick up a small drink to bring over to Sayori’s place for her. A salted vanilla cream iced coffee topped with whipped cream and sprinkles, if they have any. Sayori’s favorite. It’s not her business to question her love’s taste in drinks, although she can’t help herself and questions it anyway. As long as she’s happy then that’s what matters in the end. Two fingers snap in front of her face and she looks up to see a slightly disgruntled Natsuki in front of her face and a curiously worried Yuri in behind her. “Earth to Monika,” Natsuki says as she leans back. “Yuri called your name like seven times.” “Actually it was five,” Yuri corrects. “If it wasn’t for the intense stare you were giving your desk I would’ve thought that I was being purposefully ignored, if I had to be honest. Are you feeling alright?” Monika feels a bit flustered at being caught in her thoughts. She didn’t realize how unaware she became of her surroundings. “Yes! Yes, sorry, I’m fine. I was just thinking -” about Sayori. “I was just thinking.” A beat passes, and the looks on both of the other girls’ faces tell her all she needs to know about how obvious her thoughts were to them. “Thinking... about Sayori?” Natsuki finishes for her, her question coming out more as a statement. Of course it’s obvious. She’s always thinking about Sayori. “Am I that predictable?” Natsuki bluntly replies “yeah” at the same time Yuri apologetically says “kind of.” Yuri puts a thread of her hair behind her ear and steps closer to sit in the desk next to Monika’s. “It’s just that... since you two have started dating two months ago you’ve been really... close?” she offers. Natsuki nods. “You guys have been filthily in love.” “Natsuki!” “What? I meant it in a good way.” Yuri sighed. “Of course.” She shifts her attention back to Monika. “Despite Natsuki’s unique description, she’s correct. You and Sayori had been almost inseparable since you’ve gotten together.” “Not like it’s a bad thing,” Natsuki assures. “As much as I complain about you two making constant kissy-eyes at each other, I gotta admit that it’s pretty sweet.” Yuri nods in agreement, and while Monika’s stomach gets riled up with thousands of embarrassment butterflies, her friends’ encouraging words fill her with giddiness. She reaches up and playfully pokes Natsuki’s right cheek, right where her single dimple lay. She’s both surprised and not at all shocked at the softness of it. “Funny how you two call us cute when you guys are downright adorable.” Both Yuri and Natsuki blush, the latter jerking her head back from her finger. “Yeah, yeah,” she mumbles. She points her own finger back at Monika. “Don’t try to change the subject! Sayori isn’t here and now you’re feeling all gloomy and stuff.” “Is she feeling unwell?” Yuri asks. “It’s quite unusual for her to miss a school day, but then again it’s also very cold and muggy outside now, and the weather has been getting worse these past few days.” “She might be feeling sick,” Natsuki says. “If she is sick then tell her to stay home and get better. I don’t want to get sick too.” “I’ll be sure to inform her of your concern, ‘Suki,” Monika promises. “I’m going to see her after school today to make sure she’s fine anyway.” “Good plan, but my warning extends to you too. Don’t come to school if you get sick.” “I won’t, I won’t.” “Make sure Sayori stays hydrated and washes her hands often,” Yuri also speaks up. Monika feels like she’s being talked to by two parents. “And make sure she’s eating properly, maybe something light and not too heavy, and -” Yuri pauses, trailing off for a second. “... Are we sharing poems today?” Monika thinks, resting her face in the palm of her hand. “Hmm... I think Sayori would want to read our poems with us. We could read it today and show her when she comes back, but I think she’d want to be here with us when we read it for the first time, so I’d hold off on it for now. If that’s alright with you two, of course.” Natsuki shrugs. “Fine by me. Honestly, it’ll give me time to look it over and see if I wanna change anything about it.” “Yes,” Yuri agrees. “I worked hard on my poem. I would prefer if all of us had the chance to read it together.” The school bell rang overhead, signaling the end of the school day. Monika got up, stretching her arms above her head. “Then we are in agreement. We’ll wait to share our poems until Sayori can join us. I’ll see you two tomorrow!” She slings her book bag over her shoulder and begins walking toward the classroom door. As she pushes the door open Natsuki’s voice rings through the classroom. “Can’t wait to read the love poem you wrote about Sayori, Moni!” Monika leaves, blushing hard, wandering what she did to deserve friends like this. So what if her poem may or may not have been about Sayori? She didn’t use her name. It could’ve been about anything. It could have been about a deer, or a pond, or the sun. Ah, well. As long as Sayori likes it then it doesn’t matter. /// - - - /// Monika walks down Sayori’s street, the cafe she wanted to stop by having been closed earlier due to bad weather. She bundles her scarf tighter as the snow crunches beneath her feet with puffs of frozen air escaping from her nose. Her face felt numb and cold by the time she moved her scarf to cover half of it, but she’s glad she thought ahead enough to take her mittens with her. Her ears already feel like they’re about to fall off, she doesn’t need her fingers to feel the same way. She walks faster when she spots the clear distinction of Sayori’s house in her vision. She opens the gate and walks through it, careful as she goes up the porch stairs to the front door. She knocks once, twice for good measure, and waits. ... There’s no answer. She knocks a third time, waiting a bit longer, but the result is the same. No answer. She looks to her right at the small potted, and now dead, succulent on the railing next to the door. She lifts it up to find the spare key to the house underneath it and picks it up to unlock the door. “Sayori!” Monika yells out in the house to make her presence known and not scare her. She slips her shoes off on the shoe rack next to the door, and shrugs off her Winter attire - putting her mittens in her coat and putting both her coat and scarf on the coat rack. “It’s Monika! Are you awake?” She hears a thud from somewhere upstairs with Sayori herself appearing at the the top of the stairs a moment later. She’s still in her pajamas and it doesn’t look like she brushed her hair yet today, but the smile she gives when she lays her eyes on Monika completely outshines any of her disheveled appearance. “Moni!” Sayori shouts, her voice crackling a bit. Monika guesses it’s because she either just woke up or because she hasn’t used it in a while. She rushes down the stairs to give Monika a hug, which was gladly reciprocated. “I didn’t know you were coming over today! I would have... cleaned up a little... heh.” The house is spotless. “Did I wake you up?” she asks, patting her back. “Nah, I’ve been awake since this morning. I was just laying in bed all day...” Sayori trails off, her embarrassment opening a deep form of understanding between the two of them that they both know too well. Today must have been one of her low days then. They don’t talk about her depression too often, and while some days are still off for the both of them, their recoveries - especially Sayori’s - have made remarkable progress. Monika leans back to look at her, having to look slightly down, and wraps her arms around her neck. “I just wanted to check up on you since you weren’t at school today.” “Thank you.” Sayori rests her palms on the small of Monika’s back. Her large green eyes started making her slightly flustered so she focuses her sight on a beauty mark close to one of the eyes, high up on her cheek. “I wanted to,” Monika repeats. She gently pushes back one of Sayori’s arms so she can hold her hand. “Besides, if I didn’t come here then Natsuki and Yuri would have forced me to. They think you have a cold or something.” Sayori looks down at their intertwined fingers fondly. “Nope! I’m perfectly healthy, except for the occasional sneeze. But other than that I’m okay.” She squeezes Monika’s hand and notices how her nose is still slightly red from the chill outside. “It’s chilly outside, isn’t it? Do you want some cocoa?” “Sure.” Monika’s relieved that Sayori isn’t actually ill - though the idea of taking care of her sick girlfriend isn’t awful. She knows a good mushroom soup recipe. Maybe she can be her taste tester one day. Sayori leads her through the house to kitchen located in the far back of it. Although the outside of the house is cloudy and gray, the kitchen window is shining enough light to considerably brighten the room. Sayori takes out a small, decently sized pot along with cocoa powder, sugar, chocolate chips, vanilla extract, and a bag of peppermint candies out of a neighboring cabinet while Monika grabs the milk out of the fridge. “Going all out, huh?” Monika teases. She knows that the vanilla flavoring is for Sayori while the peppermint candies are for her. She’s touched knowing that she keeps a bag of her favorite candy at home - especially since she herself doesn’t particularly enjoy the taste of it. Sayori smiles at her after pouring some milk in the pot. “It’s Winter! We gotta celebrate it with the most Winter-y drink known to mankind. Plus going “all out” means it’s just gonna be more delicious to drink.” Monika slides up behind her and wraps her arms around her stomach as she whisks in the cocoa powder and sugar, playfully moving both of them side to side slightly as she does so. “You’re right. Hot chocolate shouldn’t be served any other way.” Sayori moves with her, happily whisking away. She thinks that she should put a radio in here sometime so that they could dance together to some music. “Could you reach over and put some chocolate chips in here for me?” She does just that, moving over to open the bag and pouring some of the contents of it into the warm pot. After seeing them start to melt, she goes to grab the whipped cream out of the fridge. “Okay! It’s done!” Sayori announces. She helpfully pours the chocolate into two cups for them, adding the vanilla extract to her own while Monika takes a spoon and scoops some whipped topping onto both cups, putting the spoon in the sink and the cream back in the fridge afterwards. “Thanks,” Sayori says gratefully. She takes a couple of peppermint candies out of the bag and puts them on the table. “Now for the fun part!” “The best part,” Monika agrees. Both of the girls raise their hands up and immediately slam them down on the candies, crushing them into pieces. Monika picks up the remains and sprinkles them on her cup, completing her drink. With everything finished and the kitchen clean of their messes, they both start heading up towards Sayori’s room, carefully holding their drinks as to not spill it on the carpeted stairs. “I can’t wait to drink this,” Sayori says, pushing open her bedroom door with her hips. “It smells delicious.” “Be careful, though. Remember when we burnt our tongues on it last time?” “You mean when we dared each other to drink it without blowing on it or waiting for it to cool down?” “Yeah. I couldn’t taste anything for about three days.” “Do you wanna do that again?” “No.” Sayori laughs. They both move towards one side of the bedroom where two gigantic green and purple beanbag chairs rest against a wall and sit down them. The bags have seen some use, but they’re still nice and comfortable to sit on. They both spend a quiet moment sipping their drinks, Monika playfully knocking her feet against Sayori’s in a lazy game of footsie. Sayori smiles at her and pushes her own foot back softly. “Why didn’t you come to school today?” Monika asks as politely as she could. It’s not the best conversation starter, but she’s been curious and worried the entire day. Based on what Sayori said earlier she can easily guess, but she doesn’t want to make assumptions. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Sayori’s smile dimmed, though more out of embarrassment than displeasure. Monika feels a bit bad for asking, but she rests a comforting hand on her shoulder, giving her a soft and reassuring smile in return. Sayori leans into her touch, taking another sip of her drink before speaking. “I just had a bad day today.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.” She remembers never being able to talk about her feelings this easily. Her bad days and her sad days - she couldn’t talk about them without feeling guilty, like she did something wrong by not being constantly cheerful or happy. She remembers the first time she tried to open up to Monika about her feelings, way back when they were “just friends” unknowingly longing to be closer, and she could barely speak past the rock in her throat and the tears stinging her eyes. Monika had been patient though, and kind, and Sayori had slowly grown confident and comfortable enough to talk with her about her depression and anxiety without feeling judged or lonely. Sayori runs her finger around the rim of her cup idly. It’s almost empty. “I woke up this morning and my limbs felt like there were anvils laying on them. My bones felt heavy and I couldn’t get up.” “Did you go back to sleep?” She nods. “Yup! When I woke up I felt a lot better.” Monika grins. “Sounds like your medication is working.” “Yeah! It’s giving me a lot more energy. A year ago I probably would’ve just stayed in bed.” Monika tilts her cup and pours the rest of her drink in her mouth, finishing it. “Progress is progress, and I’m really proud of you for sticking to it. It makes me happy to see you getting better more and more each day.” “Really?” Sayori asks softly. Her own drink is empty by now and sits on her floor abandoned. “Really.” Sayori feels bashful, the corners of her mouth turning upward with incredible shyness. She scoots over in her beanbag chair to lean against Monika’s beanbag instead so she should lay her head on her lap. Monika herself wraps her arms around Sayori comfortably, one arm laying lazily on her stomach while the other one rests around the broad of her back, effectively cuddling her. This is a nice time for a nap, Sayori thinks as the minutes tick by, blinking her eyes slowly. The steady breathing of her girlfriend soothes her to tiredness, a beat constant and safe and real. A faint and noticeable tune matching the steady rhythm of her own small breathing. She almost thinks she can hear Monika’s heartbeat even though her head is on her thighs and nowhere near her chest. “Are you comfortable?” Monika teases. Her voice is a bit softer, perhaps because she’s also being slightly lulled into sleep. “I can’t replace your bed, you know, but I don’t mind being your pillow.” Sayori hums. “Sorry, I was just enjoying how warm you are and how our breathing almost seems in sync.” Monika huffs a laugh. “Almost sounds poetic.” “I got a lot of practice. Speaking of which, how was the clubs’ poems today?” “Actually we decided not to read our poems today. Everyone wanted to wait for you to come back before sharing them.” Sayori stares at her, surprised. “What? Really?” Monika pokes her cheek playfully. “Of course. Sharing our poems wouldn’t be the same without you there. You make them feel special.” Sayori feels flattered, a warm swarm of butterflies pooling in her stomach hearing that praise. “I can understand that. I couldn’t imagine not sharing my poems with one of you guys.” “Good thing we’re saving them for tomorrow then, hm?” Sayori still looks at her, taking in her slightly heart-shaped face and freckles scattered across her face like a constellation. Monika closes her eyes again, once more falling asleep. The walk all the way to Sayori’s house from the school made her a lot more tired than she realized. Seeing Monika like this, so peaceful and soft, fills Sayori with such fondness that she makes the quick and brash decision to lean up and place a swift kiss on her lips before she fully fell asleep. Unsurprisingly, she tastes like peppermint and chocolate. How fitting for someone like her. Monika cracks one eye open at her and smiles. “Now that’s not really fair, is it? Kissing me when I’m not even looking at you.” She leans down to place her own sweet kiss on Sayori. Kissing can’t magically fix everything, but it’s a start.

#doki doki literature club #sayonika #sayori #monika #maxcaulfield #Q #ddlcgiftexchange2020 #shay writes

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jihyuncompass · 4 years

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Domesticity

I couldn’t come up for a creative name, but here is my Day Two Entry for @mysmeweek2020! This one is about Saeran (because all I want is for him to be happy)

Mysme Week 2020 Day Two

Domesticity

Saeran Choi x MC

Word Count: 2.1K

Summary: Days with Saeran came in three types. Today was one of the good ones.

Daily life with Saeran could be divided up into three different types. The good days, which happened once in a while, the bad days, which occurred less frequently then they used too, and then most commonly the just okay days, neither really good or bad. Just okay.

A gentle alarm woke the two of you up. Warm daylight already coming in from behind the drawn curtains. You woke up first, reaching over to hit the off button, you both hated having an alarm in the mornings but Saeran’s therapist insisted that a regular and healthy sleep schedule was necessary for his recovery. So as much as you both hated it, you also both agreed that it was for the best.

Turning over you saw your boyfriend lying next to you. His sleeping face relaxed and peaceful. He must not be having a nightmare if he looks that calm.

“Saeran, angel it’s time to get up.” Running a gentle hand across his face and neck you tried to wake him up. After a few moments you saw his eyes open a little. He blinked and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “Good morning.” You said, he rolled onto his side to lie face to face with you.

“Morning.” He said, his voice gruff from sleep.

“How’d you sleep?” You took his hand in yours.

“M’kay, no nightmares.”

“That’s good, do you want me to cook breakfast?” He shook his head.

“No, I’ll do it.” He brought your hand clasped in his closer so he could kiss the back of it.

“I can cook for you once in a while y’know.” You told him, a sweet smile crossed his lips.

“But I like to cook for you. It makes me feel happy to cook things you like.” He leaned forward to give you a peck on the lips. A content look on your face you watched him drag himself out of bed. Bleached hair sticking up in every direction, some red roots were starting to show.

You got up a few minutes later, taking a moment to use the bathroom and brush your teeth. After which you went back into the bedroom to get dressed, at this point you could smell breakfast cooking in the kitchen. Dressing yourself quickly you joined him in the kitchen.

Together the two of you sat on the couch while you ate your breakfast.. As usual Saeran’s cooking was incredible. Cooking and baking were hobbies he had picked up after leaving Mint Eye, quickly they became some of his favorite things to do. And like his hacking skills his cooking was precise and masterful. Keeping an eye on the clock you gathered the dishes to wash so Saeran could get dressed. By the time you finished with all of the dishes, placing them in the disrack to dry, Saeran emerged from the bedroom dressed to go out.

The walk to Saeran’s therapist’s office wasn’t too bad. It was nice and not too long, You held hands as you passed people on the street going about their days. Saeran kept his eyes focused on the ground. Being out around people still made him nervous but on his better days he could be around people for a little while without many issues.

“Do you want me to hang out in the waiting room?” You asked him. The first few months of therapy Saeran asked you to wait in the office for him so he could feel safe. He didn’t always need you to stay now but once in a while it made him feel more comfortable.

“No. I’ll be fine. Thank you angel.” You smiled at his pet name for you, one of many. Squeezing his hand you nodded.

“Okay, I’ll probably wander around some of the nearby stores. So I won’t be too far.” Saeran smiled just the littlest bit. Even if he didn’t need you to be with him, knowing that you were nearby still helped.

Approaching the therapist’s office you bid him goodbye with a kiss on the cheek. After he was inside you waited a moment in case he changed his mind and wanted you to come, but when he didn’t come back you slowly moved away from the building.

Choosing a bookstore a block away you went there to spend your hour. You’d been here a few times on similar excursions but you never spent a significant amount of time actually looking around at the shelves. You wandered around pulling books out to look at.

You stopped when you came across a book with a bouquet of flowers on the cover. Pulling a book from the shelf you realized that it was a guide to flowers and their meanings. Flipping through the pages the book included watercolor illustrations of hundreds of flowers along with their meanings and messages. Some even included famous poems that mention those flowers. Reading through the pages you think of Saeran’s garden behind your house. You hold the book close to your chest and decide that it would be the perfect gift for your boyfriend.

An hour passed in no time and soon you were back waiting in front of the therapist’s office. The book tucked into your bag as you watched people as they walked past you.

Hearing Saeran’s voice you turned as he walked out, you smiled at him and reached out to take his hand. A ghost of a smile crossed his face. After his therapy appointments he tended to be a bit overwhelmed and withdrawn, so you gently led him home. Not speaking too much to let him think, if he wanted to talk he would. Today he just held onto your hand and stayed quiet, a thoughtful expression on his face.

Back home he quickly changed into his gardening clothes. You went into the room you used as your home office, sitting in front of a window that overlooked the garden. You could see Saeran working, tending to each plant carefully. Pulling weeds from the dirt and watering each flower with careful precision.

Months ago you convinced Saeran that he should try growing fruits and vegetables along with his flowers. Since he loved cooking and gardening so much the idea of having his own produce to cook with was a good idea for him. He took to it well and each one of his plants grew the most delicious produce you ever had in your life.

You worked at your desk, sparing a few glances up to Saeran as he focused on his work. He looked so calm out there, his garden was truly his happy place.

In the afternoon you took a break from your work to make some lunch. Putting together a quick sandwich and glass of lemonade you stepped outside to where Saeran was working.

“Sae!” You called out. “I made you some lunch, I’m going to leave it right here for you!” Motioning to the plate Saeran smiled at you and nodded. You watched him for a moment as he continued to work before slipping back inside and into your office, with your own lunch in your hand.

Working for a few more hours you watched Saeran move onto harvesting the ripe fruits and veggies. Piling them into bowls he grabbed from the kitchen, watching him work, in a place that made him so happy made your heart soar. He just seemed so comfortable out there.

Evening came quickly and when you finally glanced up from your work and didn’t see Saeran outside anymore. He must have come back inside at some point when you were invested in your work. Standing from your chair you felt your knees pop, you must have been sitting for quite a while by this point.

You found your boyfriend in the kitchen. His hair is still a tad wet from a shower he must have taken a while ago. Warm smells surrounded you as Saeran leaned over the stove, stirring the contents of a pot. He noticed your presence quickly by shooting you a quick glance, you smiled walking up next to him.

“This smells amazing, Saeran, have you made this before?” You glanced into the pot.

“No it’s a new recipe for Budae Jjigae. I haven’t had a chance to try this recipe before.” He leaned over to smell the contents of the pot. “I think it’s almost done, if you want to sit down I’ll bring it to you.” Stepping away you sat down at your small dining table noticing the new flowers he had put in the vase to replace the ones from a few days ago. They had the lightest of fragrances, sweet but not overpowering. Good for a dinner table.

Dinner for the two of you was perfect, the stew was a mixture of spicy and savory. It warmed your stomach with its flavors and warmed your heart with the care that it was prepared with. You and Saeran talked as you ate, you asked about his garden while he asked about your work. The conversations were nice, simple but comforting.

Saeran brought you the dessert he prepared, a strawberry shortcake with fresh grown strawberries and cream. You dug into your individual slices, The cake was light and sweet and the strawberries sweet with the slightest bit of sourness to them that was balanced out by the cream. Each bite tasted like heaven, and you had to force yourself to eat it slowly and fully enjoy it. Saeran watched you eat, gauging your reaction. You made an effort to show just how much you were enjoying it, this seemed to satisfy him a small smile tugging at his mouth.

Tonight you washed the dinner dishes together. You scrubbed each dish clean while Saeran rinsed and dried each one. This task was spent in relative silence, Saeran wasn’t one for a lot of words but he didn’t need to speak for you to tell how he was feeling or what he was thinking.

Once the last dish was clean you remembered the book you had gotten for him earlier in the day. You excused yourself for one moment to go grab it, returning with the book hidden behind your back. Saeran gave you a funny look as you walked back up to him.

“While you were at your appointment I went into this bookstore and found something I thought you would like.” You held the book out in front of you so he could see it. His eyes widened taking the book and running his fingers over the cover.

“Thank you,” He stepped forward to kiss you, his lips still holding onto the sweetness from the strawberries. His kiss was soft, and thoughtful. He pulled away after a few too short moments and opened the book to the first page to start at the beginning.

Your later evenings together were always rather peaceful, sometimes if you both had the energy you would go out for a walk together. Spending the last few hours of daylight in nature. Tonight however neither of you had the energy or desire to go out, so the two of you settled for sitting in bed while Saeran read from his new book. You watched him lazily, your eyes were starting to grow heavy and staying awake was becoming more and more of a challenge.

Saeran stayed focused on his book, he wasn’t one to mark up the pages so instead he put sticky notes on pages that he thought were significant. You rolled over to look at the clock, it was about time for the two of you to actually try and go to sleep. You rolled over and put a hand on Saeran’s forearm.

“My love.” Saeran pulled his eyes away from his book to meet your eyes.

“Time to sleep?” You nodded. He put the book on the night table next to him, sinking down to lie flat. You reached over on your side to turn off the lamp you were using for light. The room going dark, with only the moonlight able to enter the bedroom.

Grasping around you felt Saeran’s arm find your hip bringing himself closer to you. Matching his movements you put an arm around his torso. Holding on another you could feel yourself drifting off the sleep. Halfway asleep you felt Saeran leave a soft and sleepy kiss on your lips.

“Goodnight princess.” He whispered, in your half conscious state you smiled, whispering back to him.

“Goodnight, my sweet prince.” You heard a content hum come from Saeran and holding him close you both fell asleep, after a good day for the both of you.

#mysmeweek2020 #mystic messenger #mysme #saeran choi #mysme saeran #saeran x reader #saeran x MC

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chrwrites · 4 years

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SOFTober day 15: Magic

This one is longer than the others because I got carried away (I’m a sucker for Hogwarts AUs).

Juleka was tired of seeing her brother think about her friend and do nothing about it. She was tired of people telling her that he stayed up all night in the Ravenclaw Common Room to play his lyre and know what – who – he thought about while playing, so she decided to take the matter into her own hands.

It wasn’t anything dangerous, just a Love Potion to help him confess his feelings, not too strong to make him obsess over her (which he already did, so it was better not to stoke that up). If it worked, her older brother would have finally stopped moping about his unrequited feelings, and if he embarrassed himself in the process, Juleka wouldn’t have complained.

She was whistling happily as she added Powdered Moonstone to the brew, and when it was done Juleka added the last ingredient: one of Marinette’s hair from when she braided them last week.

She managed to slip some of the potion in Luka's breakfast tea while she put sugar in it for him, careful enough not to make him suspicious, and she watched him drink, waiting for the potion to have its immediate effect on him. But... nothing happened. He didn’t have wide eyes, he didn’t go pale, no blank stares, no rambling about Marinette and Marinette only… Nothing.

Luka got up from the Ravenclaw table and wished her a good day, not before happily saying, “This tea was delicious, thank you Jules!”, and ruffling her hair as he passed her by.

Did she brew it wrongly? That couldn’t be.

As the day went on, there were no signs of the potion having effects on him, and Juleka disappointedly looked for any mistakes she could have made on her book.

What she didn’t know was that the potion did have effect on him. He felt dizzy, and when he met Marinette for their study session in the library he was very tempted to praise her for just breathing and tell her how she was the music playing inside his head since the day they first met.

He had been so distracted during the lessons that day that he almost made his cauldron explode (he was lucky that Victoire noticed he was about to put Bulbadox powder instead of Powdered Root of Asphodel in the cauldron and stopped him).

He couldn’t get Marinette off his mind, it was nothing new, but he couldn’t understand where the urge to grab her face in his hand and kiss her fervently came from… Well, that was also always there but he managed to control it usually. Now he was fighting against himself and his body to hold still, and his hands were guiding hers on the Star Chart more than he would have normally let them. What in the name of Merlin was wrong with him? Yes, he liked her, maybe even more than like, but he would never push himself on her in that way.

“Are you okay? It looks like you forgot how to breathe”, Marinette asked, she looked concerned, and Luka found himself nodding. You could definitely make it better, be mine Marinette.

I love you Marinette

You’re extraordinary

And incredible

And smart

And talented

The bravest Gryffindor I know

And I love your freckles

And your smile

You're so sweet

You're beautiful

You don’t know how many poems I’ve written about your eyes

For Merlin’s sake, Luka!

He tried to gather himself together just to tell her, “Actually, my mu – Marinette”, he whispered, taking a deep breath before speaking again, “I don’t feel very well, would you mind if we skipped our study session today? Sorry”. He didn’t wait for her to answer him, and quickly put away his stuff before running out of the library, leaving a startled Marinette behind.

He made it into the first bathroom he found and washed his face, resting his hands on a chipped sink as he tried to catch his breath. He stared at his reflection in silence, he was paler than usual. All he could think about was how perfect Marinette was, about her peachy lips, and her silky hair…

Marinette, Marinette, Marinette.

“You look like you’re dying”, a high-pitched voice from behind him said, and he turned to find a floating silvery figure looking at him through big glasses and a wicked smile on her face.

“I-I’m okay…”, Luka cleared his throat.

“You don't look okay to me”, the ghost said and as she got closer to him her grin grew wider, “I wouldn’t mind sharing my bathroom with someone as pretty as you…”, and Luka just shook his head, trying to at least remain focused. But his mind was blurry and all he could see were Marinette's bluebell eyes and all he managed to do was take a few steps towards the door, “Thank you, Myrtle…” he chocked out, and left the bathroom to go back to his dormitory, maybe he just needed some rest…

Getting back to his dormitory was harder than he imagined, he tripped on the stairs on his way there, and rambled something nonsensical to get the door to open, which opened at his second attempt to answer its riddle. When he finally got to his bed, he let himself collapse in it fully clothed.

Luka didn’t go to the Great Hall to have dinner that evening, fearing that he would have done something very stupid that could have embarrassed him in front of Marinette, and instead chose to stay in his room and play his lyre, the same melody repeating louder and louder in his ears until everything got quieter and his feelings for Marinette weren’t making him feel like he was drowning.

Juleka went to check on him to find his little turquoise snake coiled around his neck, head resting peacefully on his shoulder, “Why didn’t you come to dinner?”, she asked.

“I got distracted”, he said, pointing at his lyre. It wasn’t a lie after all.

Juleka raised a brow at him, and a smile appeared on her face “Aww, you missed your chance to wish Marinette goodnight”, she teased, and just by hearing her name Luka’s thoughts went back to her. He tightened his hold on his lyre and looked away “Leave. Now.”, he said, but all he managed to do was throw his pillow at her.

The snake hissed when Juleka left cackling for no reason and moved to rest on Luka’s hand when he let out a frustrated sigh “I don’t know what’s going on with me, Sass…”.

Luka dreamt about Marinette that night, and it was sweeter and more lucid than all the thoughts he had during the day, and when he woke up, his mind was clear, and he could think about Marinette without feeling completely overwhelmed. He started to suspect that his sister had something to do with his behaviour, but decided to wait to question her, he couldn’t make a scene in the Great Hall. Marinette walked by him before going to class, and he smiled at her, relief filling his heart when he felt it flutter in the way he had gotten used to.

“Well, a Fifth Year brewing a Love Potion by herself is pretty impressive”, Victoire said as they walked out of their last class for the day, and Luka just sighed, “Don’t Love Potions make you obsess over someone? I don’t think I was obsessed, I just felt the sudden urge to tell her how I felt”.

“And why didn’t you do that?”, the blonde walking next to him asked.

“You know why”, he groaned. He didn’t really want to repeat how he didn’t want to push his feelings on her because she didn’t like him that way and he enjoyed being with her as a friend.

“If you payed more attention at Professor Mendeleiv, you’d know that Love Potions can enhance feelings that are already there”, Victoire pointed out, and Luka’s eyes widened at the realisation.

“Would you guess who’s coming your way!”, Victoire interrupted his thoughts again and pointed at the corridor ahead of them. Marinette was running towards him, and right before she reached them, she tripped on her feet – just like he did the day before – and Luka promptly caught her. Victoire mentioned something about seeing someone and left them alone, and the corridor quickly emptied from the students walking back to their dormitories.

Marinette looked up at him and her cheeks turned a beautiful shade of pink, “I-I need to talk to you”, she said as she scrambled to put some distance between them. Her hands were shaking and when she pulled away from Luka’s steady embrace, she started to feel so dizzy she fell onto him again, “Marinette are you okay?”, there was worry in his voice, and the thought that she was sharing the same destiny as him – maybe worse – crossed his mind.

“I’m fine”, Marinette managed to say, but Luka didn’t listen as he was too focused in finding a solution for her. He wasn’t ready to brew an antidote, so the only thing Luka could do was take her to the Hospital Wing, that's why he grabbed her hand and dragged her with him.

“Luka, wait!”, she stopped abruptly, and Luka turned to her, “Marinette, trust me, I’m doing this for you”, he said patiently, and he tried to pull her with him again unsuccessfully.

She was standing still, but her breath caught in her throat as she prepared to say what she wanted to tell him, Luka was still looking at her in the eyes, trying to catch any other sign that she might have been under the influence of a love potion.

“I like you”, she blurted out after what felt like an eternity. If Luka had been in another situation, he would have been beaming, he would have grabbed her into his arms and would have kissed her like he dreamt of doing. But no, reality had to be different and she had to be under a spell to tell him so! What a joke.

“It’s better if we talk about this after Madam Pomfrey takes care of you…”, he said, his voice low.

“What are you talking about? I’m perfectly fine!”, there was determination in her voice, and a spark he had never seen lit her eyes, “I come here after you leave me alone in the library without saying a word because I want to tell you what that made me realize and you think I should be visited by Madam Pomfrey? Oh no, now you listen to me, Luka Couffaine.”

Luka gulped, not knowing what to do, having her say those words to him was already enough, he didn’t need a whole speech about it, he needed her to feel better so they could have behaved like friends again.

“I like you, a lot. Not in that I like you as a friend way. I really like you. And yes, it took me not seeing you smile at me from your House’s table to realize and I spent the night worrying about you and not asking Juleka how you were because I don’t know what she’d think about it. And when I saw you this morning you were okay and I didn’t worry anymore. You smiled at me and I was happy, and I felt like I could do anything. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you before, but I like you. And the fact that you want me to be visited for that is really insulting”.

Luka was speechless, she sounded so… lucid. He gave himself some time to process her words, and he moved closer to her. In that moment, he realized that he had never let her hand go. He took a slow, deep breath, and squeezed her hand delicately, trying to find the courage to ask her one last question before giving in to his feelings.

“Do you really mean this? I mean, you don’t feel dizzy or anything right? It’s not like someone – like my sister, for example – gave you something to drink and you suddenly felt like this, right?”, he asked warily, and winced to prepare himself for an affirmative answer.

Oh, he was so going to hex Juleka if that was the case.

Marinette frowned at his question but answered anyway, “I tell you Luka, I am perfectly fine. I don’t understand what is up with you but I’m okay and I’m not lying and I wanted to ask you out but if you don’t like me that’s fine just don’t come up with lame excuses as – her words died in her mouth as his lips pressed into hers. The warm feeling made her heart beat faster, and she moved her hands to the back of his neck to deepen the kiss. It was sweet and gentle, but also full of longing. He felt him smile on her lips before he parted from her, brushing his thumb on her cheek and pressing his forehead onto hers. Suddenly, he started laughing.

“What?”, Marinette asked, and a puzzled look formed on her face. Oh, she was so cute.

“We can talk about this later, now there’s something else I’d rather do”, Luka grinned and pulled her in another kiss.

When their lips met again, he thought that he wouldn't mind feeling dizzy because of her.

#lukanette #endgame lukanette #lukanette fic #lukanette fanfic #softober

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justkeeptrekkin · 5 years

Note

If you’re still doing ineffable husbands prompts??? Something with Crowley and being self conscious bout his eyes pls. It’s a weakness of mine lol

I had way too much fun writing this… I hope you enjoy!! Tagging my mate @mikudave, who also requested some snake Crowley.

***

“Crowley, dear, where are you hiding?”

Crowley cracks open one snake eye. Technically, he isn’t hiding. He had been napping, until Aziraphale’s sing-song voice woke him up. Naps are always significantly better when you can be a snake and curl up in some quiet nook somewhere. No bed required. No judgment. Because, unsurprisingly, people don’t tend to judge snakes that happen to be asleep behind a bookcase- they just scream and run away.

Crowley pokes his snakehead around the edge of said bookcase and darts his tongue. He can taste Aziraphale’s cologne in the air. Out of sight, somewhere in the room, Aziraphale sighs wearily, but affectionately.

“Oh, come now, there’s no need for that. If you want to ignore me then don’t go to sleep in my bookshop.”

He stretches his head out further, and he sees him- stepping slowly into the room, looking about the place with a small smile and a twinkle in his eye. His neck craned backwards so he can gaze up into the light that pours through the glass dome above. Bathing in it like the day he was born- how all angels are born, in the light of God’s smile.

All angels including Crowley, once upon a time.

Crowley lets his snake eyes stare at him from afar, just for a moment longer. Then, he gathers his limited energy and slithers into view. He likes a good slither. Slithering is much more satisfying than walking, which involves using too many joints, and hips getting in the way. Just as he’s about to sneak up behind Aziraphale’s back, the angel turns and peers down. He sighs again, straightening his waist-coat thoughtlessly.

“Oh there you are, my love.” Crowley’s cold blood warms at those words. He curls around Aziraphale’s leg like a vine, wrapping around his waist and coming to rest his head on his shoulder. Aziraphale peers over at him with narrowed eyes and raised brows, a furtive smile. “Where have you been, then? Scare any customers away?”

“Yesssssss. Jusssst a couple. One of them almost called animal control.”

“Wonderful. Hang on- actually,” Aziraphale double takes, planted on the spot now that he has a giant python wrapped around him. “Not all that wonderful, Crowley. I do very much appreciate that you’re- uhm-”

“Sssssstanding guard,” he supplies.

“Fine, standing guard, however you want to call it. I admit that it was getting exhausting miracling all the customers away, and I do love you for doing this, but- I don’t know how many times I can convince the RSPCA that ‘no, there’s no python here, everything’s just fine, tickety boo, nothing to worry about, officer, thank you very much, have a nice day’. And all that.”

The chastising look he’s getting from Aziraphale isn’t very intimidating- actually, it’s a bit comical, particularly with his face this close to Crowley’s. He can only see him with one eye, anyway- the other eye, on the other side of his snake head, is facing Aziraphale’s desk and surveying the half drunk bottle of whisky with interest.

Thinking that perhaps he ought to give Aziraphale a chance to have a real conversation face to face, he makes a sussurating, serpentine sigh and takes his human form. By the time scales have become skin and the tail has become limbs, he’s still wrapped around Aziraphale, albeit with his feet on the ground. His arms are around Aziraphale’s waist, clinging. His face buried in the soft cashmere of his jacket. His breath hot on his face, trapped between the material and his lips. He lets himself hang there.

Aziraphale feels like home.

It makes Crowley angry sometimes, thinking of all the times he could have held him like this, felt like this. All the times he could have been braver and said those three simple words.

“Have you been sleeping all morning?” Aziraphale asks gently, rubbing his back.

“Sleepy,” he grumbles.

“Oh, dear.” The way Aziraphale says this is like he’s consoling a moody toddler.

“S’fine. Just that it’s cold outside and your shop’s warm.”

“Mmm, yes. I turned the heating on the day before yesterday. Such strange weather we’re having at the moment. Do you know, British Gas rang me yesterday and tried to tell me that I haven’t been paying my bills. Can you believe it?”

Crowley snorts, lifts his head up and leans back from their embrace a little. Soft, but stern pale eyes scan over Crowley’s face.

“What did you say?”

Aziraphale blinks at him. “Well, obviously I found my log books and gave them a thorough run down of my payments. As if I don’t keep track of my bills. Really.”

“Really,” he agrees with amusement.

There had, of course, been the time when Aziraphale had been visited by the Tax Man for being so suspiciously good at balancing his books. Truth is, he really is just that diligent. Crowley briefly feels sorry for the British Gas employee who must have been on the other end of that phone call- they must have had their ear talked off. Gotten a proper lecture, just like the Tax Man. And then, Crowley is bizarrely overwhelmed by how proud he is of Aziraphale for being so unceasingly irritating.

This thought process is interrupted as Crowley registers the dreamy look on Aziraphale’s face. A sweet smile and pinched brows.

“What is it,” he asks warily. Aziraphale’s soppy expressions usually indicate when Crowley’s unintentionally done something nice. Or romantic.

Well, at least, it’s very rarely intentional.

“Nothing, my dear.” Aziraphale pats his chest with a coy smile. Implying it’s not nothing at all, and he’s about to expand any second-

“It’s just,” the angel continues, gaze peering at him through his lashes. “You have such lovely eyes. Sometimes, it just catches me off guard.”

Of all the things for Aziraphale to say, he hadn’t expected that at all.

And after all the years that the two of them have known each other, his compliments still make Crowley twitch.

“Don’t be stupid,” he mutters. He hates how he sounds.

And he loves that Aziraphale is unfazed by the sneer that’s most probably on his face right now.

“You do. They’re really, truly beautiful, my dear.”

“Stop it.”

“I am being totally serious.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re right.”

“Oh- I may be a bit daft at times, but I’m right about some things, and this is one of them.”

“God you’re- you’re insufferable-”

“You’re beautiful, Crowley-”

“Aziraphale.”

“Your eyes are golden like Autumn leaves-”

“Jesus. I’m- I am genuinely considering becoming a snake just to strangle you, you do realise that-?”

“Shining like distant suns-”

“I will leave you.”

“Do you not see that you have nice eyes, Crowley?”

“They’re fine. They’re eyes. Serve their purpose.”

“Yes but- they’re golden. They’re remarkable. Some would even say angelic.”

“Except they’re not, are they?”

The teasing smile on Aziraphale’s expression falls a little. The teasing tone in Crowley’s voice turns bitter. And Aziraphale’s hands hold onto the lapel of Crowley’s jacket. The gesture is strangely protective.

“Oh. Oh, I’m sorry, Crowley. I hadn’t realised you were self-conscious,” Aziraphale says quietly. Just for them to hear, even though they’re alone in the bookshop.

And Crowley doesn’t look back, even though he feels Aziraphale’s eyes on him. He refuses to look back. Something in him makes him want to run away. He doesn’t- instead, he grinds his teeth and breathes loudly through his nose, staring at the pile of E. M. Forster books on the table adjacent.

He could stand here silently and ignore that statement, or he could argue (and lose that battle, because there’s no use arguing with Aziraphale). Instead, he sighs.

“They’re not angelic, though, are they. They’re the one thing about my form I can’t change. If I discorporate, I could have any other body, but I would still have these eyes.” And he thinks he’s finished, except he hasn’t, because the words tumble out of his mouth like he’s drunk. “Just- you know, a fun reminder of that little mistake I made, when I was young and reckless- and hung out with the wrong crowd, like any stupid kid does. A warning to everyone else that I’m wily. And bad and cruel and untrustworthy. Because, obviously, you know, people deserve to have their mistakes literally branded on them for the rest of eternity.”

And then he really is finished, so he swallows and sighs, turning his gaze to Aziraphale’s bow tie. It’s not tartan today, but it’s just as poncy. Meanwhile, Aziraphale is quiet. Like he’s been embarrassed into silence for putting his foot so thoroughly in it, Crowley thinks.

But then, Aziraphale always manages to surprise Crowley, just a little.

“I know just the thing.”

With one more comforting pat on Crowley’s chest, Aziraphale untangles himself and disappears behind some bookshelves. The shop feels almost frighteningly large- without Aziraphale’s close presence, without the tight nook of a bookshelf as a bed. Crowley peers over his shoulder to see him fussing, tutting to himself as he peruses a pile of dusty first editions. Moving one pile out of the way to make room for the next, bending down to find something in particular, it seems.

“What you looking for, angel,” he asks, a little gruffly in his confusion.

Aziraphale doesn’t answer, which is his way of telling Crowley to be patient and bear with him. Eventually, he makes a pleased little hum, and pulls out a book from the bottom of the very last pile.

Aziraphale twirls around theatrically to face Crowley, book open in one hand and the other clutching his chest.

“Golden Eyes,” he announces, with his best thespian voice. “A poem by Laurence Hope.”

“No,” is all Crowley says in response.

“Oh Amber Eyes, oh Golden Eyes! Oh Eyes so softly gay!”

“Christ.”

“Wherein swift fancies fall and rise, Grow dark and fade away!” Aziraphale begins to pace the room, book hand extended like he’s reading from a script. Like he’s one of Shakespeare’s actors, only, miraculously, even more ridiculous. “Eyes like a little limpid pool That holds a sunset sky, While on its surface, calm and cool, Blue water lilies lie-”

“You can stop now,” Crowley argues, a smile creeping up on him.

Aziraphale seems to pick up on his amusement, because he bounds over with dramatically wide eyes, and is now, God help him, making whimsical hand gestures to accompany his performance. He’s enjoying this too much. “Oh Tender Eyes, oh Wistful Eyes, You smiled on me one day, And all my life, in glad surprise, Leapt up and pleaded ‘Stay!’ Ooh, now, hang on,” he interrupts himself, “let me just find my favourite bit…”

“You- don’t. You don’t have to.”

“I do, and I shall,” he replies primly, putting on his reading glasses and tilting his head upwards so he can read the pages a little better. “Ah! Here we are- are you ready?”

“No.”

“Ah laughing, ever-brilliant eyes, These things men may not know, But something in your radiance lies, That, centuries ago, Lit up my life in one wild blaze Of infinite desire To revel in your golden rays, Or in your light expire.”

And- yeah, alright, that is quite nice, Crowley thinks. Maybe he can put up with being serenaded every now and then, so long as he gets to roll his eyes and pretend he hates it. And Aziraphale’s bashfulness finally seems to catch up with him as he approaches Crowley slowly, eyes fixed on the book and a small, self-conscious smile on his lips.

He continues, softly.

“If this, oh Strange Ringed Eyes, be true, That through all changing lives This longing love I have for you Eternally survives-”

Crowley reaches out a hand to find Aziraphale’s, to run along his arm.

“May I not sometimes dare to dream In some far time to be Your softly golden eyes may gleam Responsively on me?”

And at that, Aziraphale sighs. He looks away from the page and Crowley takes the book from him, lays it on the table behind him.

“Well?” Aziraphale asks quietly. A little coquettishly. “May I dare to dream?”

Crowley huffs and shakes his head. He lays a hand on Aziraphale’s cheek, watches the angel’s eyes flutter closed.

“You silly sod,” he whispers, just so he doesn’t have to hear himself choke.

With that said, he answers Aziraphale’s question- he answers in a kiss. Soft, sure, and more eloquent than any words he’d ever be able to stumble through.

#good omens #my writing #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #prompts #fic prompt

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