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og-danny-dorito · 3 years

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[ Favorite BNHA Boys’ Reactions To You Holding Their Face ]

if you’re on bnha/jojo simptok you know EXACTLY where i got this idea from

𝕓𝕒𝕜𝕦𝕘𝕠 𝕜𝕒𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕜𝕚 :

➢ lMAO the first time you touch his face he is SCREAMING KDJFNSKJ-

➢ it’s mostly because he didn't get a warning first of all, and second of all he doesn't really like people touching his face in general anyway so like obviously he’s not for it the first time

➢ if you ask really nicely or try to offer some sort of repayment for it (an example being to do the dishes when it’s his turn if you’re living together or to pay for dinner next time you go out if you’re not) he’ll consider it though, and will begrudgingly comply to your wishes

➢ but, fortunately for you, he ends up liking it a biiiiit more than he thought he would to say the least 😂

➢ as soon as he looks you dead in the eye and says “just get it over with”, your hands are on his face. to his surprise though, he ends up being a little bit less annoyed by it and more... soothed

➢ the feeling of your hands on his cheeks, gently circling your thumb over the softer areas of his skin, the tension in his jaw melts away. his shoulders feel less rigid. his muscles less sore. it’s sort of a subconscious reaction by that point, but regardless of how much his body is telling him that he likes the contact, he’s still going to deny the red that comes up to his cheeks and spreads over his face like wildfire

➢ “No, I’m not blushing- what do you think I am? I’m not soft or anything like that... NO STOP DON’T HUG ME-”

➢ definitely the type to deny that he likes it like the tsundere he is, but gets a little bit pouty when you do take your hands away. won’t ask for affection but definitely gives you subconscious signs that he wants to be Held™

𝕒𝕚𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕥𝕒 :

➢ the best way to get his attention actually!!!

➢ you see, this walking personification of sleep deprivation is almost CONSISTENTLY wrapped up in his work one way or the other, whether it be subconscious or upfront

➢ he really does try his hardest to not be so focused on work all the time, but he gets consumed by it really easily since he’s a workaholic and runs on the adrenaline of getting as much paperwork done in one night

➢ it’s not uncommon for him to loose focus of the things around him, but having you there with him is good at grounding him so he doesn't start to stress over small details and stuff like that

➢ usually when you walk up and frame your hands around his face, he’s a little bit surprised at first and doesn't know how to react since he doesn't receive such intimate affection (and never really has). he gets used to it eventually though, and it becomes sort of a subconscious habit to just lean into your touch and smile a little bit at you

➢ will occasionally give you a lingering kiss on your palm when you do it, looking into your eyes in a way that makes your stomach feel full of butterflies

➢ probably says something like “What is it, kitten?” or “Hey.” while grasping your hand in his

➢ warning!!! this WILL lead to a cuddle session that you wont be able to get out of. be prepared to be smushed between aizawa and all 3 of his big ol fat cats for the rest of the day/night if neither of you have anything to do

𝕥𝕒𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕠 𝕥𝕠𝕪𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕥𝕤𝕦 :

➢ YES okay LOOK i fucking love all of the soft shit that ya’ll come up with about my boy Fatgum here and i’m here to fucking contribute because i love him 😤

➢ to fully understand his reaction, you must first know that this man is an absolute sucker fo any kind of affection you give him regardless of the context

➢ he dishes out enough affection to keep you assured that he loves and appreciates you in every way, which will almost always comes with some of the sweetest compliments imaginable

➢ he knows exactly how to make you feel loved since he likes having the same kind of thing done to him, and so when you return it he’s over the moon

➢ it doesn't even catch him off guard when you do it to be honest. he just sweeps you up in his arms and spins you around, telling you how cute you are and how much he loves you. if not that then he nuzzles into your hand and grins, his whole face lighting up at the sensations of warmth radiating between such a small contact area

➢ he’s another one that immediately wants to cuddle after and probably cancels his other plans so he can spend time with you. he’s just SOMFT for the face holding p l s,,, do i t

➢ says somethin along the lines of “I love you, honey bun!” or “You’re so sweet!” cause he LOVES you and i’ll be damned if this man doesn't use food-related nicknames with his lover

➢ 10/10 will do the same to you if permissible and DEFINITELY will find other creative ways to offer you more affection in return

𝕕𝕒𝕓𝕚 / 𝕥𝕠𝕦𝕪𝕒 𝕥𝕠𝕕𝕠𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕚 :

➢ this one is kinda depssing compared to everyone else KJSFNDK LMAO IM SORRY PFF

➢ okay so like,,, mans isnt big on affection for a number of Reasons and so obviously he’s gonna be a little confused, but the reaction itself is kinda what raises some red flags and rings alarm bells considering it’s kinda uncharacteristic of him

➢ the first time you did it was by surprise even though he could clearly see you reach for him. he moves his head back quickly, sucking in a breath and raising his hands a little to block something that wasn’t coming. that’s already kind of alarming by itself, but his expression...

➢ you don’t think that you’ve ever seen dabi scared. not like, alarmed or on guard or anything like that, but genuinely, truly scared. scared like something was coming for him. like he was a little kid again, back in that place-

➢ the best course of action here is to back up and put your hands up, giving him some space to recuperate. he’ll drag his own down his face after that, seeming to let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and avoid making direct eye contact with you

➢ it’s very likely that he’ll jut leave without a word after that and might not come back after a few hours. you’ll have to ask him directly what happened to which he’ll give you some basic details, but he’s not going too into depth since ehe doesn't want to bring all that shit back up after he expertly kept it down for so long

➢ if you really want to do it you need to give him a warning every time you do, and he’s really only in specific moods for it on select days anyway. it’s no offense on you, he’s just not all that affectionate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

➢ a good alternative is to try to hold his hand when he’s not doing something. he might give you a weird look, but the fact that he’s not pushing you away says that he might actually enjoy it a little bit. he won’t say anything about it though, god forbid he talk about his f e e l i n g s

➢ OKAY jesus christ onto more fluffy shit

𝕜𝕖𝕚𝕘𝕠 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕒𝕞𝕚 :

➢ oop- touch starved who??

➢ i know that like,,, in canon he doesn't really express much of his bird traits that kind of signify some of the more Feral parts of his brain but like?? i think that there’s very specific traits that he exhibits that can either be shrugged off as normal behavior or are like explicitly bird-like and receiving affection is definitely the latter

➢ now i don’t know that much about birds but i know that when you pet them sometimes they’ll coo or do that trilling thing so i’m thinking that he would probably do the same thing if given the chance

➢ cuddling with him is probably the way you found out about it though, so it’s no surprise that when you gently cup his face with your hands and stroke his cheek with your thumb he makes a low vibrating noise that comes out on instinct

➢ he gets super embarrassed and has to explain himself through endless stuttering, but after you tell him that “It’s alright, I think it’s kind of cute actually.” he feels a little bit more comfortable with sharing intimate moments like that

➢ being raised to be a weapon means that he didn’t really receive the affection that he should've when he was young, so he might be a little awkward at first, but after like a week of doing it he kind of just rolls with it

➢ like aizawa, it’s a great way to get his eyes off of work and on you instead, but he pretends to be aggravated with it just for the sake of eliciting pointless banter between you two

➢ says something like “You tryin to get my attention, baby bird?” or “What, am I not paying enough attention to you?” just to seem like he’s indifferent but definitely gets pouty and grabs you by the waist if you take your hands off of him

[ ~Thank You For Reading! And If You Have Any Requests, Be Sure To Contact Me!~ ]

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mccnyoongi · 5 years

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buttercup ⇢ pt one

⇢ pairing: yoongi x fem!reader

⇢ genre: smut + slight angst

⇢ au: college!au, fwb!au, stoner!yoongi, assholeish!yoongi, fuckboyish!yoongi fwb to lovers trope

⇢ word count: 6k+

⇢ warnings: smut, honestly mostly porn, unprotected sex, recreational use of drugs & alcohol, dirty talk, praise, degradation, ridiculously excessive use of pet names, fingering, dom!Yoongi, unprotected sex, slight dumbification (whoops), hair pulling, creampie??, oral (f receiving), pussy slaping, reader has a thing for Yoongi’s hands because who doesn’t, reader and yoongi are both sarcastic and oblivious, this part is basically pwp.

⇢ synopsis: Min Yoongi wears leather jackets, fucks you like he hates you, spends most of his days on the wrong side of a blunt, and calls you the sweetest names when no one else is around. And you definitely aren’t falling in love with him.

⇢ author’s note: so yes, buttercup is being cut up into two parts thanks to a lot of my life getting uprooted this week!!! ill spare you the details but everything is really chaotic rn so im sorry this isnt exactly what i promised :( thank u for all the insane amont of love ive gotten so far. this is a pretty um... filthy piece of writing skfjsd and it’s definitely not perfect and id love to get better with everything i put out on here but i hope u guys enoy ily xx

If there was a magic lantern hidden somewhere on the campus of this university, you’d find it and your first wish would be to make it so that no one found out about this whole illicit affair you’ve been having with Min Yoongi. The secrecy was fun, sexy like you guys had a whole Mr. and Mrs. Smith thing going on. Or something. Your second wish would be to make his dick vibrate.

But then he just had to go and go down on you in a bathroom during a party at the Beta Tau Rho house, not even a month into the fall semester, knowing you wouldn’t be able to be quiet or subtle at all. And he was so smug about it too, the fucker.

You can still feel the embarrassment buzzing under the surface of your cheeks from when you walked out that bathroom door and a dozen frat boys and mutual friends of yours and Yoongi’s were out there, waiting for the two of you to emerge and giving you a round of applause when you did. Yoongi had just laughed and rolled his eyes before leading you to the kitchen to get the pair of you some drinks. He’s always been particularly good at brushing that shit off of his shoulder. You aren’t, but you’re pretty good at pretending.

Maybe you should have ended it all that night. Of course, you didn’t. You figured, hey, you’re young and in school so fuck making good decisions. Of course, the fact that no other guy has ever been able to dick you down nearly as well as Min Yoongi can is probably a huge contributing factor.

Sure he might be grumpy, and sarcastic, and he tries way too hard to look cool and nonchalant, but he’s also the first guy to ever make you squirt. And you’re pretty sure that the way he waxes poetic about your pussy would make even Shakespeare swoon. So maybe the pros outweigh the cons, but only just.

“I can’t believe you’ve been getting Yoongi dick for almost three full months and haven’t divulged every single detail and vein to me, you cold, uncaring bitch-” Jimin’s voice is far too loud for the student-run coffee shop the two of you regulared every Sunday; a tradition that Jimin always insisted upon. He loves his traditions almost as much as he loves destroying any personal boundaries between the two of you.

“Keep going Park, see if I ever buy your coffee again.”

“Don’t change the subject,” You can’t say you’re surprised that Jimin is reacting like this. Self-proclaimed ‘disaster bisexual,’ Jimin was one of the very first friends you made back when you were a shy, barely functioning freshman.

He actually introduced you to all his frat brothers, and a large number of the people you now call your friends. Including Yoongi, whose dick seems to be a reoccurring topic between you and… most people you know. Even if they weren’t at that dumb party, Jungkook made sure that every living being that stepped onto campus was aware of the newly found out fuckbuddies.

“We don’t keep anything from each other, Y/N,” He’s whining over his coffee now, full lips perched in that pretty pout that he regularly uses to his advantage. “I even told you about that time I puked on Namjoon’s dick in our second year!”

“Mmm, and I wish you hadn’t told me, Minnie-” The visual still haunts you, but Jimin has never had any predilections when it came to oversharing, especially not with people who have the misfortune of being his best friends. “‘Sides, I didn’t figure it was important, the whole Yoongi thing-”

“His dick, you mean.”

“Because it’s not like we’re getting married,” You carefully ignore him, a useful habit you’ve picked up three years into being his friend. “Just sex, remember?”

“So fucking what? You told me how you sucked Jeon’s cock in a movie theatre less than twelve hours after it happened-” You take a large gulp of your own iced coffee to busy yourself when the shameful memory is brought up. Not shameful because of the promiscuity of the act, no you’re an adult, thank you very much, but rather because of the boy you performed them on. Jeon Jungkook is now more of an annoying younger brother to you than anything. Not to mention he’s got a giant mouth that couldn’t keep a secret even if it killed him.

“Jesus you could’ve picked any other example-” You groan out as Jimin smirked, receiving the exact reaction from you he wanted. You think you’d have learned by now. “I’m sorry, okay? You big baby.”

“Hey, you’re on thin ice,” He points an accusatory finger at you and you have to fight the urge to smack it out of your face. “Now you have to make it up to me.”

You sigh- Jimin can really be exhausting when you’re only half a medium coffee in. “And how do you expect me to do that, Park.”

“Dick details, fucking obviously,” He says it like you’re a moron for even asking. And maybe you are. “Well details in general, I guess. You know, the basics; length, girth, does he make you call him daddy, is he good- I mean he must be un-fucking-real if you’ve been bouncing on it for three goddamn months, you whore.”

“I’m not giving you measurements, Jimin, I’ve yet to take a tape measure to it- and stop assuming everyone has a daddy kink just ‘cause you do.”

“Okay, vanilla bitch. You’re lucky I already know he’s got a monster cock from that time he streaked at that post-mid-term party next year.”

“Then why’d you even ask?”

“To see if you’d tell me the truth. It was a test and you failed.”

“I may be a college student but you’re gonna have to threaten me with a little more than a failing grade to spook me,” You roll your eyes playfully- there’s no real threat in his words, there never is.

“You’re right, I’m sure you’d much rather be punished by Yoongi, huh?”

..............................................................................

Watching Yoongi roll a joint, his long, slender and experienced fingers moving quickly and deftly, has always had this near hypnotizing-like effect on you. His apartment smells like weed, the scent never surprising and would almost be overwhelming if you weren’t so used to it by now. The sight alone is almost enough to make you wet. But you’re stronger than that- except for when you’re not.

Sexy hands aside, but unfortunately not on you, you’re thankful for his cannabis-related expertise because a) you can’t roll one yourself to save your life and b) despite normally reserving your consumption habits for parties, you feel like you deserve a fat one after the week you’ve had. What with, you know, the stress of having every student on campus knowing about yours and Yoongi’s torrid affair, thanks to fucking Jeon Jungkook. Brat. Plus incessant goading from both Jimin and your roommate, Irene- equally angry as Jimin about your worst kept secret- has only made you sink further into your insecure and paranoid thoughts.

The weed would help, you’d told yourself when your phone pinged with that much anticipated what’re u up 2? late night text from the raven-haired devil himself. Yep, it was the weed, the comforting blanket of getting high. And had nothing to do with the boy that was offering them. Not even his fat cock or magnetic pull he seemed to have on you.

“Alright, dove,” He says from his spot on his worn-out single-dorm couch- the names don’t tend to surprise you the way they used to. You kinda figured that the affection-starved Yoongi had just you know… gotten comfortable with the girl he had been fucking for the last couple of months. No big deal. Sure they made your heart swell and your panties dampen, but then it could be looked at as a positive.

He looks up at you from his spot on the couch, where he’s uncomfortably hunched over the table as he works and notices how you’re looking rather spaced out- not entirely rare for you. He’s used to the hundred-mile stare you tend to adopt when deep in thought, though it’s considerably less common for a sober you.

“Dove?” Nothing. “Y/N?” It’s the use of your actual name from his lips that finally grabs your attention. You finally turn your head to look at him, the glaze of deep thought finally leaving your eyes. An eyebrow quirks to let him know you’ve heard him, but his gaze remains piercing and unwavering on yours. “You need to stop worrying so much, dove.”

“That’s what the weed is for, Yoongs.”

“The weed? You’re just here so I can smoke you out then, huh? No ulterior motives, hm?” His tone is as dry and sarcastic as ever, qualities he had quickly become known for around campus. He shurgs “Fine. Just here to sesh. C’mere then.”

You scoot closer to his side of the couch, not even thinking twice before listening to him. His tongue is tantalizing as he licks the rolling paper, even if he doesn’t mean it to be. He’s almost always tantalizing to you.

“Don’t be grumpy. You invited me over,” Your words are softer than you meant, but your proximity to him makes you feel stilted. He was right, you really needed a smoke, more on edge than ever.

“Well, technically,” He starts, unlit, perfectly rolled joint now perched between his lips. He grabs at your legs before continued so that you were resting sideways on the black couch, legs strewn over legs, thighs touching thighs. “I invited the best pussy on campus over.” You crinkle your nose at his bluntness.

“Yoongi-” You scold indignantly and pinch at a well-toned bicep. “Don’t be an asshole, you asshole.” He grins despite the insult like he’d expected it. Or he’s revelling in it.

“You know I’m just fucking around, angel,” His arm tucks around your waist comfortably, pulling you even closer. “Tryna chill you out. I can tell when you’re all strung out. I know how you,” He pokes you in the middle of the forehead, still grinning, as you pout from being called strung out. “Tick.”

He really does, doesn't he? The thought is mildly terrifying, and you think that Yoongi might be too smart or his own good sometimes. When he’s not smoking himself into another dimension, that is.

He leans back into his seat, uncurling from around you to finally light up. A few sparks later and the room is fogging up with overly pungent smoke- the cheap smell makes you think that he probably bought it off of Hobi, too lazy to go any further off-campus than his own block of apartments to one of the nice but relatively affordable dispensaries. You crinkle your nose at the scent, grateful he’s too distracted to notice since he’d probably just tease you for liking the fancy shit more. At least you trust Hobi, and he lives only two buildings down from Yoongi. Truly an age of convenience.

A few passes, tokes, whatevers later, and you’re feeling substantially... floaty. You’ve completely relaxed, choosing to lie down rather than put the effort into sitting up, though your legs are still thrown across your equally high counterpart’s. What’s left of the roach is left to burn in one of many strategically placed ashtrays around the apartment, this one being on the living room table.

Yoongi has barely moved in the past while, head resting lazily on the back of the couch, black hair messy and his neck- which is somehow handsome to you- stretched out, and hands resting against your bare knees. You’ve barely paid him any mind, the silence nothing but comforting and easy.

Which is why you can’t help but jolt just a little in surprise when those hands, the hypnotizing ones you’re so obsessed with suddenly start creeping up your legs, halfway up your thighs, carefully kneading the supple flesh he finds there. He chuckles at your reaction, finally picking his up his head to watch you through heavy-lidded eyes. “Bet you’re extra sensitive right now, huh petal?” He doesn’t have to bet because he knows it’s true, knows how needy you get when you’ve smoked. And he loves it- it’s why he never makes you pay for any of the times he smokes you out.

“Fuck off,” You whine at his light-hearted teasing, but Yoongi just giggles- he fucking giggles- in response, hands still travelling the expanse of your thighs.

“Be nice,” His words are still jovial, but there’s a gruffness behind them that sends a shiver down your spine, despite the relative stuffiness of his living room.

“I am nice, you’re just a dick,” You pout- childish, but you can’t quite come up with anything more clever at the moment. The jab may be weaker than your usual quips, but Yoongi seems to have decided it’s enough to warrant a punishment of sorts, as he sends a quick slap onto your thigh. It’s certainly not the harshest hit you’ve received from him, it’s more playful than anything, but it’s enough to make you whine, not even noticing when your own hands jump down to grab at him and your now sore flesh.

His eyes take on a new sort of darkness, beyond the dilated pupils from the high he’s in the middle of as he grabs at your wrists, any assault you had planned halting in its tracks. His large hands that you’ve drooled over- figuratively and literally- many a time are big enough that he only needs one of them to hold both of yours steady. He uses his grip on you to yank you back up to a sitting position, where your noses almost touch and you can feel his breath fan across your lips.

“I told you, I know how you tick,” He lets his tongue swipe out to wet his lips, the act distracts you and makes you mimic it with your own tongue and lips. The smirk he gives you is all at once wicked and panty dampening. “Which means I know you like it when I’m mean. I know you like when I treat you like this, like my little slut,” The word makes you draw in a breath as your face reddens in humiliation and tension. “And- and I know you’re probably soaking through your panties right now, all over my couch. Making a fucking mess.”

It infuriates you to no end how right he is as your breaths come out shaky and uneven as you feel your pussy flutter around nothing beneath your shorts and panties.

“Aren’t you?” His tone doesn’t leave room for playfulness anymore, and you’re nodding dumbly before you can give it a second thought. “Good girl.”

He doesn’t give you any time to bask in the praise before he’s leaning in to capture your lips in a searing and sloppy kiss. He’s domineering even in the way he kisses you, teeth biting and tongue sweeping into your own mouth as he revels in the small sounds that escape you. His hands leave your wrists, freeing them so you can grip onto raven locks with a newly freed hand as his own wrap around your waist.

Every sense is filled with him, and it is all at once comforting and exhilarating.

He tugs and roughly manhandles you so that you’re properly astride his denim-covered thighs, your lips never untangling in the process. When your lips finally do come apart, it’s with a lewd sound and a gasp from your mouth. He’s still smirking.

“Gonna fuck you so good petal,” Yoongi has always been so blunt and unforgiving, whether in bed or out and it had been one of the things that first attracted you to him, besides his obvious good looks.

Before the two of you had even gotten together, when you were friends who didn’t fuck on the regular, you had even mustered up the courage to touch yourself to the thought of him speaking to you like this- your own fingers circling your clit and delving into yourself without abandon. You had only been able to imagine up a fraction of his sexual prowess.

Like the time only a few weeks ago you admitted to him in a foggy haze, high than you think you’d ever been. how you’d brought yourself to climax with images and soundbites of him flitting through your head. He’d immediately made you put on a show for him- recreating those nights, but this time with him sitting feet away from you and ignoring your pleas for him to touch you.

Right now, however, the only things keeping you grounded in reality is the feeling of the muscles in his thighs flexing beneath you, though nowhere near where you truly ache to be touched, and one of his hands brutishly tangled in your hair, pulling harshly so he can have easy access to your neck. Plush lips start soft, kissing and licking at the skin there, before his teeth join in, biting and sucking like he loves the taste of you (because he does).

“Y-yoongi-” You’re trying to keep the whimpers at bay, like maybe if you stop yourself from seeming so turned on so fast it’ll get him to fuck you faster. “C’mon, just fuck me already.”

“So demanding for such a needy bitch,” He has you squirming on his lap and you don’t know why you thought you had any power over him left. “Have you forgotten your place? Can’t think of anything else but getting fucked, huh?”

You nod in agreement, but find out he must want a verbal response when you’re met with a sharp spank to your ass that has you squealing and bucking into his lap. “Yeah, yeah Yoongi ‘m sorry, just need it.”

“I know, baby, I know, you can’t even help it when you get all messy like this, I know,” You can’t decide whether his words are sweet or patronizing when he coos at you like that, but either way he’s got you another pair of panties.

“Need you to fix it, Yoongs,” All pride is out the window when he’s got you like this, and you love pleading with him to give you what you want almost as much as likes making you beg.

“I will,” He gives you one more harsh bite to the junction of your neck and your shoulder that you know will blossom into a bruise just in time for your 10 AM class tomorrow and you hiss at the mingling of pain and pleasure. “Now fucking get up,” He pats lightly at your thigh twice at the order.

You’re in no position to disobey, and you know from experience that not listening to him will end up with a sore ass and no release in sight. You stand up on shaky, doe-like legs and he grins at the sight of you. He stands up with you, his lean form and strong stance making him look taller than he really is. Then his long fingers are pulling at what little clothing you have, stripping you of both your tank top and your shorts and your bra isn’t far behind. Soon you’re clad only in your panties while he’s still fully clothed in black form-fitting jeans and a plain white t-shirt. Thankfully he leaves his cliche, but devastatingly sexy leather jacket at the door.

He doesn’t make any move to undress at all and you hope to god he will eventually- you love seeing his honey-coloured skin covered in a thin layer of sweat as he fucks you into oblivion. But for now, he stays fully clothed and he roughly pulls you by your upper arm until he can bend you over the arm of the couch, panty-covered ass high and perfectly on display for him.

“God, you’re fucking dripping,” He taunts, fingers running over your pussy through the thin cotton, making you whine into the rough cushion your face is resting on. “All this from almost nothing, huh? You’re such a fucking slut for me, shit.” He sounds genuinely amazed by you and when you uncomfortably crane your neck back to get a good look at him you let out a proper moan. He must have stripped his shirt off when you weren’t facing him, because his chest is bare for you to gaze at, or you would gaze at it if you weren’t distracted by the hand that isn’t on you, which is lazily working over his cock, rock hard and aching through his jeans.

He smirks when he notices what’s grabbed your attention, knowing you’re only moments away from quite literally drooling on his pillows. “Is this what you want? Hm?”

“Ye-yeah your cock, Yoongi, need your cock,” Your face burns red and blood burns hot as the crude words leave your mouth.

“And you’ll fucking get it, dove,” The cute name contrasts the second harsh spank he lands on your ass and you moan at the delicious sting.

You think that he must be about to tear your panties off and sink into you, but that would be too predictable and Yoongi loves to keep you on your toes. Instead, he disappears from your line of sight, a dull thump coming from the hardwood as he drops to his knees, feline gaze now level with your cunt.

“Yoongi-” You’re whining again, and you even have to hold yourself back from stomping your foot childishly because, god, you just need him to do something.

And then he finally does- he licks a thick stripe, right from your clit to your entrance, still over your panties, and you gasp in surprise. He does it again, twice, three, four times until your hips are bucking and you’re whining because you need more, you need him to actually touch you and not be a giant fucking tease for once in his life.

“Be fucking patient,” He hisses out, but at least he’s finally rolling your underwear down your legs to toss them somewhere across the room. “Or I swear to god, I’ll hold you down just like this so you can’t even squirm while I get myself off all over your messy cunt,” His hand is running up and down your bare pussy as he speaks, spreading the wetness around, to your clit and your thighs and your ass and then back again. “And then I’ll send you home without touching you or cleaning you up, so you’ll have to take the subway home covered in my come and fucking trembling. So be fucking good.” At the last word, he lands a mean slap against your gushing cunt and you let out an embarrassing squeak.

“Shit-fuck- Yoongi, please, just-” You stutter through your words, needing to get them out, though you don’t know why. “I’ll be good, okay? ‘M your good girl, I am, promise, I’ll be good.”

He doesn’t respond, at least not verbally. But you have to assume he’s happy with your desperate response when he finally delves into your pussy like a man starved, tongue licking into you, the muscle sending spasms up and down your legs. You have to muffle your moans by biting into a pillow, not needing another altercation with his neighbours, but you want nothing more than to yell his name as loud as you can until your voice goes hoarse when he shakes his head from side to side, tongue still buried inside of you and one of his hands now roughly circling your clit.

It’s too much, but it’s not nearly enough. It’s when he switches positions between his hand and mouth that you think you might explode; his mouth latches onto your clit, tongue circling and playing with it and two fingers fucking into you, preparing you for the impressive girth of his own cock.

Your teeth let go of the strong grip it has so you can warn him of your impending orgasm. “Yoongi- gonna come-” You manage to choke out between barely quieted moans.

You know that he wouldn’t be able to respond if he was still suckling on your clit, but you still whine and wiggle your hips as he pulls away, earning you yet another spank to your rear, where you can only assume a nice handprint is forming. “Yeah? Want you to come all over my face, like a good messy whore- gotta come for me before I can fuck you like you need.”

When his mouth finds your swollen clit again, you can’t help it as your orgasm barrels through you almost violently, every muscle tensing and fingers grasping at whatever they can find, neighbour’s delicate sensibilities forgotten as you moan out Yoongi’s name. He licks you through it, fingers no longer pistoning into you. When the last of the tremors have faded he finally pulls away, using his clean hand to wipe your mess off of his chin, though it hardly cleans him.

“Good fucking girl,” The roughness with which he was grinding his still covered bulge into your now sopping wet center would be impossible to ignore even if your head weren’t a million miles away. But for now, everything is Yoongi, every single scent is filled with him and you think that that might be making your head even fuzzier than the drugs coursing through your system, but you’re too far gone to be sure. Or to even care.

Because all you can think about is his mouth-watering hands kneading at the slightly pinkened skin of your ass, his mouth-watering cock rutting against you and his mouth-watering, well, mouth pressing wet kisses and occasional bites up and down your spine. “Yoongi,” You meant to speak with at least a little more conviction, but his name comes out as little more than a mumble.

“Hm,” He hums against your skin and even those slight vibrations reverberate straight to your heart, which starts beating faster at the thought of what’s to come. “What, is my babygirl still needy?”

The use of the word my in front of the affectionate name makes your heart jump, but you don’t even have time to scold yourself for thinking with your post-orgasmic pussy before he continues talking with that sinful mouth of him. “Such a greedy, desperate girl, won’t be happy ‘til you’re stuffed full of my fat cock,” His words have you whining and grinding back against him, where you don’t have to look to know you’re leaving a stain on his favourite jeans. If you’re unlucky- or lucky depending on your mood- he’ll make you clean it up with your tongue as further delicious torture.

But smoking makes Yoongi needy too, no matter how much he teases you for the effect it has on you, and he can’t wait much longer, not with his cock so hard he was a razor blades’ edge from losing his mind. He needs to be inside you as much as you need him.

Which is why you don’t doubt him for a second when he’s murmuring things about how he’s ‘gonna fuck you so good, gonna fuck you stupid,’ and you can only respond with even quieter whispers of ‘I knows’ and ‘pleases’ as he strips himself oh the rest of his clothes, hissing from oversensitivity as his cock makes contact with the air. It’s wonderfully overwhelming and he’s not even fucking you yet.

You can’t even explain how grateful you are when Yoongi turns you around because you love just seeing his cock. You’ve never been one to describe guys’ dicks as pretty before- except that TA you managed to fuck before Jimin sunk his claws into him, Kim Seokjin, because, well, you’re not blind. But Yoongi’s dick is gorgeous. It’s not the biggest thing you’ve ever seen, and it doesn’t have to be, not when it’s girthy enough to make you salivate with a curve that points to the heavens. Gorgeous.

He’s pulling you on top of him so he can sit back down and you’re back to straddling him, and you don’t complain because you know he’s tired both from the pot and crouching on his haunches for access to your center not two minutes ago. Plus he loves when you ride him, breasts bouncing in his face, wetness making a mess out of his lap and full access of your entire body for both his hands and lips.

“Need you to bounce on my fat cock before I fucking explode, baby,” And you’d have to be some sort of a madwoman to deny him.

“Need it too, Yoongs,” You don’t know why you feel the need to remind how desperate you are for him, surely he can feel it, your swollen pussy resting only centimetres above his throbbing length. “Can’t think of anything else.”

“I know,” He’s rubbing the angry red tip against your sopping folds, tinges of overstimulation making you jolt. Or you would jolt if his hands weren’t heavy on your waist, keeping you steady so you couldn’t a) get away from his cock or b) properly sink down onto it. “So pathetic and perfect for me like this, all cock drunk and fucked out and I haven’t even fucked you yet, huh?”

You nod frantically, and you can’t even find the energy to be embarrassed when a hand comes up to pet your hair with a condescending ‘awe’ as he pouts at you. You bat his hand away with a whine and furrowed eyebrows, but all that gets you is his hand tangled in your hair, yanking sharply in retaliation. “Careful, slut, or you won’t be coming for the next week-”

“Please, Yoongi-” You don’t let him finish, knowing from experience to always take his threats seriously. “I’m sorry, I’m fucking sorry, okay just please-”

You cut yourself off with a high pitched, tea kettle-like squeak as he uses his hands on you as leverage to have you sink down onto his cock in one fell swoop. “Shit, god, you’re always so fucking tight around me, fuck me.”

I am, is what you wish you were coherent enough to snark back with, but you’re sure no one would blame you if they could feel what you feel right now. And what you’re feeling right now is how well Yoongi feels inside of you, like no cock you’ve ever had. Every ridge and vein on his cock fills you up to the fucking brim, no room left for a pinky or a thought that has to do with anything other than Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi.

And then he starts with those devilish moments of his hip, fucking into you shallowly and slowly to start and it’s all Yoongi’s dick.

“Fucking bounce on it, dove. Fuck yourself on my cock, show me how much you need it,” He speaks through gritted teeth, each word a struggle as he tries not to fuck into you without thought. And it’s with the satisfaction you get knowing he’s just as desperate for you as you are for him that you find the strength to do as he says.

With quivering thighs, you push up and off of his cock, the two of you sharing a harmonious groan at the feeling, foreheads pressed against each other, skin sweaty. And this all just in the calm before the storm.

It’s not long before the both of you are moving frantically, mere seconds, really. It’s intense and all-encompassing, as you grind and roll your hips, cock deeper than you knew to be possible, and his bucking his own hips into you roughly, no doubt as deeply in some sort of euphoria as you are. His hands are everywhere and so are his lips. He sucks marks into your tits and gropes your ass, controlling your movements to the best of his abilities.

All of that, plus your clit grinding against his pelvic bone every other second and your head just might be in another universe.

Yoongi’s words are swirling around in your head, though you’re not properly taking any of it in- his velvety voice goes on about how wet you are, how tight you are, how you’re a good girl and it’s all another instrument in your downfall. You’ve never been much for heights but being with Yoongi feels like something akin to what you assume bungee jumping is like, and you’re just about at that point where your cord runs out of length and your heart drops to the bottom of your stomach.

“Tell me you’re fucking close, baby, c’mon,” This is as close to pleading as you can ever get Yoongi but you’re still swimming in pride. He brings a hand off of your ass to cup your cheek, brushing away your now mussed hair and a single stray tear and you drink in the look in his eyes, dark red-rimmed and needing. “Gonna fill you up with my come, just like I know you like, my perfect little cumslut, fuck, just need you to come first, yeah? All over my fucking cock.”

And with a particularly hard grasp at your ass, bringing you to grind your clit against him again, you’re gone. It’s considerably less intense than the previous one, as many second orgasms are, but your head is still spinning and you think you might have drooled a little, but you don’t mind and you know Yoongi doesn’t. Your attempts to stifle your moans are unsuccessful as the name of the man attached to your favourite cock falls from your lips like a mantra.

And where your orgasm is, Yoongi is rarely far behind- he loves seeing you fall apart around him, because of him and you always clench so fucking hard around him in the peak of your pleasure how could he fucking not. He’s grunting, moaning, damn near growling as he spurts his own release as deep into you as he possibly can, coating every inch of your delectable pussy, vague mumbles of how he’s filling you up, just like you’re meant to be that you can just barely hear.

Shakey breaths hit each of your faces as you come down, now still and worn out. Your chests move up and down and you don’t know when you’ve buried your face into the crook of his neck, but the warmth and smell are more comforting than any hit you’ve ever taken off of one of his blunts.

“Shit, buttercup,” He chuckles, the vibrations rumbling through his chest and where you’ve tucked yourself He runs a hand through his sweaty black locks, the other hand locked around your waist. “I don’t know how we’re gonna move without making this couch fucking disgusting.” Mood killer.

“Don’t give a shit.”

“Yeah, but I do. Especially if Joon or Hobi someone finds it and makes a big fucking deal out of it, like no other guy in his twenties has some come stained furniture.”

You pull back from the spot you wish he’d just let you fall asleep in so he can see your pout. He can’t find the sight of you… adorable? Your hair matted, bruises, courtesy of yours truly littering your tits and chest, a thin sheen of sweat making your skin glow and bottom lip jutted out exactly enough to be overexaggerated and so fucking adorable.

At that moment he’s glad that about three weeks ago the two of you had started to break the unspoken no sleeping over after sex rule because he just wants to clean you up and feel you curl yourself around him like you like to.

You don’t know what time it is, just that it’s late and that it doesn't matter, because this was certainly time well spent. You wonder how much sleep you’ve given up in lieu of Yoongi’s pretty dick. Of course, it does matter... because you have a 9 am class tomorrow morning that you can’t miss, but that’s for future you to worry about. For now, it’s time to try to get up without defiling this Ikea couch (you failed miserably and giggled about it while Yoongi groaned in mock pain), burn out just one more joint, steal some clothes for bed and some snacks from his fridge, and pass the fuck out on his bed, which you think is way better than yours, but that has nothing to do with the boy in it or his comforting warmth and smell.

..............................................................................

Past you is a dumb bitch. Also maybe current you. Point being, you hate you, because you’re sore and stiff and ten minutes late to your dumb 9 am class and it’s all Yoongi’s fucking fault. You texted him this much, calling him a ‘little bitch boy’ for not even waking you up to make you a cup of coffee with his fancy instant coffee machine before you left. He hasn’t responded yet because holy fuck does that guy sleep like a rock. A really cute, cuddly, sex-god rock.

But, as usual, Jimin came in clutch, handing you off a coffee as your paths crossed on campus, each of you heading to your respective classes. He gave you a one-armed-too-tight hug and a comment on how you have that very glamourous ‘I got fucked by Min Fucking Yoongi last night and you didn’t so I’m better than you look.’ You tried to take it as a compliment as you thanked him for the coffee. He gave you a cute kiss to your forehead that reminded you you could never even be annoyed at him for too long.

And now you’re in class. Headache from not getting enough sleep getting worse by the second while you tried not to think about what judgements people must be passing on you, with your sunglasses inside and hickeys you didn’t have time to cover up.

When your phone pings you assume it’s Jimin, with something slutty or sarcastic or both. But it’s not. It’s Yoongi- well, it’s what you have Yoongi’s number saved under, aka the drooling emoji three times over… You’re surprised he’s awake, you’re pretty sure he doesn’t have shit to do until the afternoon.

You have a fleeting thought that it could be a dick pic- yeah it’s a little early for that kind of dumb fuckboy behaviour, and you’d previously thought that too, but Kim Taehyung proved you wrong last year.

Yoongi isn’t a dick pic kind of guy anyway. No, he’s the guy that sends pictures of his hand around your throat that one night you let him take artsy photos of you two fucking on his film camera. The kind of guy that sends you audios of him jerking off and moaning your name that you listen to through your earphones in between classes because he knew you wouldn’t be able to help yourself. He’s the guy that drives you crazy because you can never quite predict what he’s gonna do next.

[9:23 am] From 🤤🤤🤤: you could have woken me you know dummy

[9:24 am] From 🤤🤤🤤: subways are gross in the morning

[9:25 am] From 🤤🤤🤤: i could have u know, driven u…

[9:26 am] From 🤤🤤🤤: cant really say no to u buttercup.

You don’t know why you’re heart’s beating so fast so you reprimand yourself for thinking with your pussy. Min motherfucking Yoongi is gonna be the death of you.

#bts smut #btswritingcafe #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #bts x reader #buttercup #bts fic #yoongi fic #bts fanfiction #bts oneshot #bts writing #def not my best work but u know JKFDHKJFHS

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uwuowotf2waslife · 4 years

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Hmmm. If you do headcanons, do you have any sad ones for the mercs? ;; ((You can totally skip this if you want! I’m just curious is all uwu))

Scout: as you expect, my boy has ugly daddy issues. He is terrified of people abandoning him, so he tries to have this tough guy persona to hide the pain inside him. When he finds out Spy is his dad, he wont take it well.He will explode, probably beat Spy and send him to respawn again and again untill his rage is satisfied...for much time he will be salty towards Spy and avoid him, but deep inside him he craves to have a dad...just sad

Soldier: he has severe Ptsd after a lifetime of War. He might pretend he doesnt have it, but it shows and the older he gets it is more and more visible.

Pyro: im working on a big post about them so imma keep it a secret for here

Engie: i headcanon him as a very stressed person who just tries to hide in his workshop and his projects to keep his mind occupied from thinking about himself

Demo: he lowkey wishes he never started drinking, because he knows in the long run it wont be a good thing for him. What if he wants to get married? What woman would settle down with a man who drinks twice his weight every other day? All these thoughts trouble him so he tries to shush them with alcohol, its a ugly vicious circle.

Heavy: he binges a lot to smoothen his nerves, due to his large size it doesnt really show but he knows it isn't healthy. He grew up in a famine environment so when he came to America it was a huge culture shock for him, so he started binging here and there....he tries to work out more but he sometimes doesnt like his image, fat is good but a beer gut for him isnt a good look

Medic: well...he is an interesting character to say the least. I dont think his a psychopath, he has feelings. Perhaps he was actually a very sensitive child that had to harden due to the gory nature of his profession

Sniper: abandonment issues to the max sprinkled with a tiny bit agoraphobia to spice it up, he isnt the happiest of people

Spy: he would give everything he has to be there for Scouts Mom and his son, but he was beyond scared of what would happen if his enemies found out about them. He isnt proud of it, but in his mind he prefered for him to suffer than seeing his child and the woman he loved being tortured for information on him...when he opens up to Scout he accepts all the beatings because he thinks that he deserves it. It isnt an easy ride but I hope they work it out because they need eachother: Scout needs a dad and Spy needs someone he can anchor himself and overcome his own problems so they both can grow as characters

#tf2 self insert #tf2 fandom #tf2 imagiines #tf2 x reader #all #sad #just sad

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themagicaltunaa · 3 years

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Answer all the questions

well i have nothing to do so sure

1. What have you eaten today?

some toast for breakfast, leftovers for lunch, and some cereal for dinner

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?

never kissed anyone, don't really care about that

3. What color shoes did you last wear?

light grey sneakers

4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?

Jeremy did, when I was watching his Alien Isolation stream on monday

5. What is your favorite scent?

I love the smell freshly baked goods

6. What is your favorite season? Why?

I love fall. I just love the aesthetic of the season, and my favorite holiday is during fall. I would love to experience it one day

7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?

lol nope. I was barely able to do it as a kid. If I tried now i’m pretty sure i’ll break something.

8. What color are your nails?

the regular pink color? I don’t paint my nails

9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?

aw geez, uhhh idk maybe like a tiny star or something

10. What is something you find romantic?

i dont know romantic things

11. Are you happy?

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?

no not really

13. Dogs or Cats?

cats. i like dogs too, but sometimes they’re too much to deal with. i’m more comfortable being with cats

15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?

museum

15. What is your style?

my style is “im trying”

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?

stay up all night to catch up on videos

17. Are you in a relationship or single?

single babeyyyy

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?

nothing, because im not attracted to anyone

19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?

i dont like celebrities

20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what?

i’m pretty sure i’m holding on to a lot of stuff, but I can’t seem to remember anything specific. if this question means metaphorically, the answer still works

21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?

I went to a drive thru haunted house with my 2 friends, and after we got some taco bell and went to the beach to eat our food. we sat there for like 10 minutes before it started to rain on us

22. Have you recently made any big decisions?

nope. I try not to in general , I hate having to make any sort of big decision because I starting stressing

23. Were you ever in a school play?

I’ve always had stage fright so no

24. What movie would you use to describe your life?

uhhhh, I dont watch enough movies to pick one

25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

oh there’s plenty of things that I've dreamed of doing, but I just can’t do it because of anxiety

26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

I dont like sharing

27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?

uhhh idk? maybe the whole makeup culture thing? but it’s not like it irritates me I just don’t get it. I can’t really think of a second thing

28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

too much to list

29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?

fuck if i know

30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?

can’t think of anything rn

31. How long was your longest relationship?

never been in one

32. Have you ever been in love?

pretty sure I have not

33. Are you currently in love?

nope

34. Why did your last relationship end?

see question 31

35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it?

not wearing any atm. actually, I just don’t wear jewelry in general

36. When was the last time you cried and why?

I think it was last week? I don’t remember why, it was probably something stupid

37. Name someone pretty.

the anon that sent me this ask

38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?

oh! I got a few gifts from my bestie :)

39. Do you get jealous easily?

40. Have you ever been cheated on?

41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?

sure

42. Ever had detention?

no because I was a good bean in school

43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?

city. the countryside sounds nice, but just the thought of being out in the middle of nowhere especially at night makes me nervous

44. What do people call you?

by my name

45. What was the last book you read?

I do not remember. It’s been years since I’ve read a book

46. How big of a nerd/dork are you?

uhhh idk

47. What kind of music do you listen to?

anything that catches my fancy. I don’t really stick to one kind of genre

48. How tall are you?

my doctor said I’m allowed to say i’m 5′2

49. Do you like kids?

they’re alright. I can handle be around them for a bit, but I would never want to have any

50. Favorite fruits?

watermelon, starfruit, and tangerines

51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

jeans

52. What’s your earliest memory?

I was like 3-4, and I was at disney world with my family. I remember seeing a stage show of Bear in the Big Blue house, and I remember walking around ToonTown when it still existed

53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?

i hope not

54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind it

55. Do you have a collection of anything?

I used to collect seashells as a kid and I still have some of the collection somewhere in my closet. I wanna start a new collection of something but idk what

56. Do you save money or spend it?

i try to save it

57. What would your dream house be like?

something cozy and not too big, with a cat or 2

58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?

its 11pm at the time of answering this, i really can’t think of anything to fill a list rn

59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?

see the previous question

60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

save the dog. i hate my job anyways so I don’t care

61. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I would definitely tell my closest friends, and some of my family members, probably my mom’s side of the family. If I had the money to, I would like to travel to some places that i’ve always wanted to go to. I would have a month to accept that i’m gonna die so i think i would be fine. i’d rather get plenty of time to know i’m dying rather than like last minute. this has been a topic that i’ve been thinking of for a while now, not because I’m like thinking about death or anything, I just need something to kill time with at work

62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

a heart?

63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

aw cmon, I can’t just think of stuff like that on the spot. I don’t even know where I would want to go

64. Do you like the beach?

It’s nice, especially in the early morning when everything is still calm and the beach isn’t packed with people yet

65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?

no? wtf does someone special mean?

66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it!

Doesn’t everyone have a middle name? But yeah i do and i hate it so im not saying anything

67. Do you talk to yourself?

in my head all the time

68. Describe your hair.

brown, curly, very long because I haven’t cut it in almost a year, it’s very annoying

69. What is the meaning of life.

I wish i knew

70. What is your ideal partner like?

no one

71. Do you want to get married?

72. Do you want to have kids?

ew no

73. Like or dislike your family?

they’re bearable

74. Are you Chunky or Slim?

I’m more than chunky, i’m just straight up fat

75. Would you consider yourself smart?

lol no. I’m an absolute dumbass

76. What would you change about your life?

everything if i could

77. Religious or Not?

no not really

78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

I don’t drink so this would never happen

79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

it sure isnt because no one is there

80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

uhhhh no. I don’t really care tbh

81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

idk

82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

i’m not opening the door because no one is there

83. Do you like when people play with your hair?

ehh not really. It’ll just make it frizzy

84. Do you like bubble baths?

85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?

I need to drive in order for that to happen

86. Have you ever danced in the rain?

no. its not fun getting soaked in the rain

87. Do you trust anyone with your life?

not really?

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

why does god allow suffering

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)

1.greece

2. peru

3.disney world only because I have not been to all the parks yet, also i can bug my brother while i’m there

theres a lot more but i’m too tired to fill out the rest of the list

90. How was your day today?

it was fine

91. Play an instrument?

used to play mellophone/french horn in band in high school. after I graduated I haven’t touched an instrument since

92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.

it’s scary

93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

aliens as anything that counts as a living organism not of this world, not green little men from mars nonsense. the universe is too big for only life to be on earth. for ghosts, i’m still iffy about them, but that doesn’t mean i’m gonna start walking around haunted places and call the ghosts a bitch

94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be?

abosolutely not. every day I regret all the decisions i’ve made through my life. does that mean I’m trying to fix said mistakes or try not to do them again? lol no

95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?

in my mind i do. I’m too scared of everyone to actually do it

96. When are you vulnerable?

always

97. How much free time do you have?

doesn’t feel like much. saturday and sunday go by way too fast and i feel like when i go home from work theres just not enough to relax. im tired all the time

98. Do you like to go hiking?

never been

99. Odd or Even Numbers?

even

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?

no because I actually have self preservation. I am also a very big chicken

#wow this sure took a while #im gonna go knock out now #Tuna's posts #Anonymous

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sprngd4y-blog · 4 years

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i am not getting better. i thought i was.

music is so important in my life and the fact that i had to step away from listening to some of my favorite artists for months because of how depressed i was is astounding. i couldnt listen to a single song by certain artists or keep up with them, because all i thought upon hearing/seeing them was how unbelievably unsuccessful and fat and ugly i was. jungkooks voice made me feel numb, longing for the music dreams my parents killed in me. jimins dancing made me want to stop eating again. and i did. worse than the first times, worse than ever and yet im still fat. seeing perfect faces plastered all over every social media you have can be the last shot it takes for you to crumble. ive never despised myself more and i couldn’t handle seeing all of these loved and respected and ‘perfect’ people everywhere i went. so i distanced myself, wrongfully blew up on some of the people that had only ever been loving, and lost many connections. i think i even lost the connection between my soul and this poor abused body. i crave the adrenaline rushes of doing risky things like how i did in middle school, when my life was fully falling apart for the first of times. i want to swerve off roads, i cant look at the kitchen knives for too long, i cant bathe because all i think of is drowning. you can only stay under the water for so long and it feels like im constantly under even without the water. i dont even want to drink water anymore, and my stomach is having problems that ive never had before that make everything worse. medications you have to eat with when you take them are the wierdest phobia ive ever had. arguably the stupidest. i constantly either feel physical pain or nothing at all and i really dont think either are ideal. my hands wont stop trembling even in moments where they shouldnt. it seems like the fragile rose stem ive always longed to be is about to snap in half from the weight of my wilting petals. i dont know why i am still breathing and holding up the petals when i had planned to snap years ago. quarantine is very much amplifying every single issue i have and i want nothing more than to just be nothing. i want to be nothing and just lay here in this messy bed for the rest of my life. college doesnt interest me anymore but this is my second try at it so if i dont go i truly will be the worthless child i know im meant to be. mom and dad will never love me the way they used to again if i dont fix myself but i cant. i dont have the tools and i dont know how, i must have lost my instruction manual a while back. you know the feeling of when you are so overworked and exhausted and mentally sick that you make yourself physically sick? you give yourself symptoms of a flu? thats how i feel nearly every time my empty eyes open. i long to be nothing and feel nothing. i want to be so fragile and tiny that everyone is afraid to breathe too hard around me. i wish i could confide in someone anyone about this but having no friends that you think will be okay knowing is the worst. i cant tell my sister, she will tell mom. i cant tell my online friends, not when i know deep down they already hate me and want me to be my dreams of nothingness. i cant tell my irls because i only have one that truly cares about my health but i am afraid of him leaving. everyone seems to care at first but eventually leaves when the stress of having to play operation with my emotions and illnesses gets too much. you can only blow up on a friend so many times before they decide waiting through it all isnt worth it. you arent worth it. as its now seven am i lay here having not slept just like every other night. i am ashamed and embarrassed to hell that i cant even sleep at night like normal humans and instead sleep all day and dont do anything productive like others. if you were me and felt all of these things wouldnt you want to be nothing too? want to slowly slip in the water and not come back up for air? i know that i cant because the petal of my family hasnt yet fallen from my flower but its so overwhelming and i feel guilty wanting to just snap so soon. idk

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ruffiorocks · 5 years

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Glee season 4 episode 5 Will is an emotional manipulator!

Sooo first off Finn is having a pity party, he thinks working for Burt in the tire shop is somehow degrading? Even though if I remember correctly last season Burt was talking about letting him run the place. Finn also makes a joke about wanting to be crushed by a car in front of ARTIE of all people!

Oh look the graduates are back at the school again, that's not creepy at all. So glad Sue eventually points this out down the line!

Will and Emma are having a counseling session with Coach Beaste of all people? Will opens being the jack ass he is and starts talking about the arts being underfunded, Emma says she isn't disputing that and Will looks pissed off that she's even dared to have a difference of opinion. He doesn't even let her finish talking, before he ends her sentance for her saying their relationship with grow through this experience and it isn't just a oxne in a lifetime opportunity for him but for both of them, and that Emma is dismissing this. Emma says she feels Will assumes she is just going to drop everything and play the part of the dutiful 1950e housewife. While Emma is saying this, the same thing she said last time Will isnt even hiding the fact he is rolling his eyes ans isn't interested in what she had to say. Even though this is quite literally what he expected her to do the last time they discussed this.

Emma talks about how her life, her dreams are somehow secondary to his and he is STILL rolling eyes and scoffing at her every word.

Beaste makes some sport analogy, and compares the relationship to her and her ex, but that was a realationship with physical abuse which isn't the same thing. But she does tell them to take a step back

Emma opens her mouth to talk and Will cuts her off once again, and OH he's admitting he made a mistake when they first talked about it. No he's being the 'nice guy' again and asking her not to look sad and is declaring his love for her, "no matter where we go or what we do I want us to be together, this time its Washington, next time it's anywhere you want to go'. This isn't Will being 'nice' or admitting he was wrong, this is emotional manipulation and him trying to get what he wants because he just can't see past his own desires.

He then says 'im asking my partner ,my equal partner to join me? Will you consider it?" This is just more emotional manipulation and he makes sure there is an audience in Beaste, so it's real hard for Emma to say no, she says yes and you can see she isn't happy about it at all, but Will is to happy he got what he wanted to even notice. Thankfully Beaste HAS noticed! At least someone has!

Other notes:

Marley, sweet angel Marley tells Wade 'Unique' she's in the girls bathroom, but Wade says she sits when she pees and Marley is instantly 💯 % fine with with this. Wade says she ways to play Rizzo, ans drag isn't just an act to her, Marley again is 💯% on board with this. Unfortunately Sue is there 😑.

Hahahaha Sue can't find a bad name for Marley and resorts to 'absolutey stunning, kind, faced blue eyed girl".

Ok, so Sue calls Wade a boy and isn't on board with her playing Rizzo. But wasn't it Sue just last season that wanted Kurt to dress up like a woman for Nationals because Wade has dressing up like a woman? I feel this is a little out of character for Sue, and they just reverted back to her being prejudice so they could someone against Wade. I won't even go into the horrible rant about gender, being trans, being in drag etc that Sue launches into because it's horrible, out of character even for Sue and I'm willing to bet wouldn't be allowed to be said today.

Wade and Marley singing P!nk 😍😍 Marley's 'rock look' is amazing and I wish we had seen more of it.

Naww Ryder is lovely to Marley, who is immediately lovely to him. Ryder is also the second person (aside from Marley) who speaks of her mother with respect. Ryder also immediately doesn't give a crap about Kitty, unlike Jake who dated her regardless of how awful she was to Marley.

Jake only auditions for the musical with the very person who is making Marley's life hell because he can't stand the fact Marley could be into the actual nice guy Ryder. He uses the pretence that it's to stop Kitty killing Marley but he's really just creepy and possessive.

Also...WHY are the known bullies allowed in the musical at all?!! No wonder the Glee kids have issues! Their safe place is never safe for long because no one cares the bullies are there as long as the show is good.

Finn "I don't see what the big deal is, if Unique Identifies as a girl and dresses as a girl she should be allowed to play one on stage' yes Finn! Finally you're out of your pity party and making some sense, NOT Artie who scoffed at Wade playing Rizzo and scoffed at Marley being Sandy because she's brunette?? No Artie would prefer the known school bully to be rewarded with the lead over the lovely angel that is Marley.

Ooh no!!!! Finn used the R word to describe baby Robin!! Two steps forward MILES backwards! Sue maybe being an ass right now about casting Wade, but going after her baby girl was beyond uncalled for. Figgins should have kicked Finn out of the school for that, this is Sue's place of work, Finn just proved he shouldn't be influencing kids and he doesn't even belong there!

Where was Will during all this? Oh yeah just sat there not giving a shit because is to wrapped up in himself to notice whats going on with 'his' kids.

Now back to Emma, who's restored to freaking about germs because Will is stressing her out. Beaste tells her lying is the worst thing (besides violence) someone can do in a relationship and tells her she knows Emma doesn't want to go to Washington. No Coach, do you know what's worse than being forced into agreeing to something that you don't want to do? It's your partner emotionally manipulating you into agreeing and making you think you're in the wrong for ever disagreeing in the first place. But thankfully Beaste does tell her she should tell Will she doesn't want to go. But then takes a step backwards and tells Emma that Will loves her, and that Emma spent so much time trying to be Will's girls she's forgotten why Will fell for her. NO! Emma literally says she can't get in the ways of Will's dreamsmy because that's what Terri did, that's because Will never shuts up about how Terri treated him, which manipulates Emma into trying her hardest not to disagree with him. I'm so sick of people thinking Will is a 'nice guy' who just loves everyone. Poor Emma needed some real support here, not to be guilt tripped by Will and Beaste.

Side note: Tina is right when she said she was fine with Mike and her breaking up, but he could have given her a heads up and let her know he would be invading her space at school and helping with the school musical. No one cares about poor Tina! The most neglected character ever!

Marley and Ryder just want to dance, Jake and Kitty just want to be dickheads. Jake's creepy possession over Marley really gets going here, to the point he's stopping her dancing with Ryder and picking a fight with him. So starts Jake's decline into being an arsehole.

Yay Marley and Ryder got the leads, because they deserve it! They aren't dickheads!

Kitty is fat shaming Marley and her mum. No one! Not one member of the Glee club , Finn or any past students speak up for her at all!! This is the beginning of Marley's body issues!

Emma is freaking out cooking and is having basically a panic attacks, all because of Will!! But she finally says she doesnt want to go to Washington, he is NOT happy, but at least he's listening. Now??? Now he decides to listen to what she has to say? Oh and now he's the 'nice guy' again. Poor Emma, stuck with this arsehole.

Will actually thinks if he doesn't go to Washington the arts will fail in America?? Yeah full of yourself much?? Will also leaves Finn in charge of Glee club, the guy who shot himself with a gun, called Sue's baby the R word and is watching bullying happen before his very eyes and is doing NOTHING about it!!

Conclusions?

The graduates spend too much time at their old highschool!

The bullies are allowed to bully with no consequences, even rewarded. The victims have no safe haven because it's infiltrated by the bullies and as long as they can sing and dance no one care about what the bullying is doing to the good kids like Marley who will eventually become bulimic and no one notices.

Jake is becoming creepy and possessive.

Beaste has fallen for Will's 'nice guy' act.

Finn Hudson should have kicked out of the school the moment the called on of the teachers babies by the R word!

Sue is totally out of character, shes against Wade but late says it's for her protection and states how she had LGBT both boys and girls on the Cheerios.

Figgins is useless.

Tina is neglected!

Will Shuester basically abusive to Emma, it's emotional abuse. He doesn't care about her outside of what she can do for him. He doesn't even let her finish sentance, he tries to make decisions for her and emotional manipulates and guilt trips her into agreeing with him when she is clearly uncomfortable, resulting in an OCD Episode. He then acts like he's OK with not going to Washington, because he didn't winning this one and is being the 'nice guy' again.

Will Shuester is a jackass!!

#glee #anti will shuester #emma pillsbury #anti finn hudson #artie abrams #tina cohen chang #marley rose #jake puckerman #sue sylvester #wade unique adams #ryder flynn #kitty wilde

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cloneslugs · 5 years

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oh fuck u sent me multiple so demo/engie/medic/scout and also u can do the one i already sent

ty i love you

Demo

favorite thing about them

he’s super fun!!! but also really smart and caring and just an all around cool dude he’s like B) !

least favorite thing about them

this isnt about him personally lol but like official stuff(comics) lighten the fuck out of his skin and its like. dont

favorite line

i didnt even see this question when i first did this wtf but uh all his “i love you” esque lines are really excellent

brOTP

exclusing soldier lol!!! probably sniper or engie!!

OTP

soldier :’)

nOTP

besides scout & pyro & just like. looking at just the mercs no one really demo deserves love

random headcanon

he likes turtles a lot & just reptiles/amphibians in general just in a kinda neat/favorite animal type way nothing special, he gets around with engie and sniper and they all get drunk and they talk about cryptids, he has a super big heart he loves love, outside of the battlefield he’s pretty apprehensive and cautious moreso than lots of the others at least, he doesnt push himself to be it often just bc he doesnt like leaderly positions but he defo has one of the more valid voices of reason amongst all of them, he loves to help and just listen to people he’s always ready to offer you a drink and take a load off and just talk things out & he’s super chill and easy to talk to anyway, he comes off as really lazy but he can jump up and make do when he needs to

unpopular opinion

idk whats considered popular or not on here lol but like!! he’s not just stupid silly drunk man he’s actually got heart and is pretty intelligent & like probably one of the better off mercs if he wanted himself to be

song i associate with them (this is literally the worst question im so bad at this if i dont have lots n lots of searching time and also i forget all music ever)

cheap thrills - sia

favorite picture of them (sorry 4 bg edits im doing what i have on hand lol)

hes so fucking happy i love you!!!

Engie

favorite thing about them

he’s my fucking husband he makes my heart fucking soar!!! he’s a quiet little sweetheart and he’s just really smart and nice and has morals iusdahui

least favorite thing about them

fucking nothing you animals

favorite line

all his fucking nerdy engineering lines are so fucking good ;____; he’s so smart and passionate god“i love engines! pinion shafts! flanges. mitigating shock loads. but most of all: i love winnin’!” “they won’t know what hit ‘em! though it’ll likely to be bullets. statistically speaking” theres more but im like ;___; just thinking about him ah

brOTP

medic babey!!!!!! i have a thing for shitty best friends that tire each other out (especially on one side) but love each other at the end of the day and are just ride or diepyro also but for completely different reasons :-)

OTP

spy is fucking excellent -.- dont @ me

nOTP

soldier lol (excluding pyro & scout)

random headcanon

i think all the mercs are autsitic but engie is one of my fucking fav ahhhhh, he and medic info dump for hours especially where their special interests overlap and it gets really boring if youre not one of them lol, he loves learning but he hated school so much ):, he has pretty bad anxiety but only under certain circumstance, he’s kinda jealous that spy gets to automatically be seen as a paternal figure bc of scout and he kinda wishes he could settle in like that but he also doesnt think he’d be very good at it for a very prolonged amount of time, he loves math!!!! he loves numbers a lot he associates it with lots of fun and colors and just !!!!! wow wow!!, he has really really really high empathy when it comes to machines and stuff, he loves dogs especially smaller ones, he really loves to fidget w/ tools and stuff bc he always has one on hand and theres lots you can do with some of them, he’s really lazy and has a hard time applying himself sometimes

unpopular opinion

the comics really brush him aside i need to see him more please for the love of god he’s just as interesting as anyone else also fat engie is the only valid engie & also soldier/engie is fucking forced and weird idk where it comes from except they wear hats lol & also people call engie short but if you dont make him 5′00 give or take 3 inches youre doing it wrong and i cant stand by it

song i associate with them

this is like. also a soldier song for me lol but Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect - the decemberists

favorite picture of them

ms pauling and medic!! his buddies :) also i just love the shadowboxers art

his fly costume makes me so ;___; i love you little man

also i hate to default to beard engie but this is literally the sexiest man alive

Medic

favorite thing about them

i have a thing for shitty men with halfway decent hearts but are trying(sometimes) okay like okay he’s so chaotic and bad but ;___; i love you

least favorite thing about them

this mostly applies to his Meet the vid but he comes off as really apathetic and cruel? i think in everything else he comes off as a bit nicer if not absentminded and not too socially aware which is :)

favorite line

bro when he warns heavy about that gun in the comix? gay rights U__U also the like “you can take the brain out of the criminal and put it in a pumpkin, but you cant take the criminal out of the brain in the pumpkin” or whatever shit sir i love you

brOTP

engie baby!!!! i also really like spy & sniper bc im weak for shitty support relationships i think med just works really good w/ everyone really in some way

OTP

heavy baby!!!

nOTP

all of the mercs are fine (excluding the usual lol) but like cHeavymed people are freaks die

random headcanon

he has really poor eating & sleeping habits he almost relies on everyone else to keep him alive, he’s autistic & he’s jewish but not really practicing, he pulls & tugs on things when he’s stressed, he’s actually really smart medically he just doesn’t like showing it/messing w/ people (it makes some of the smarter mercs nervous lol), when he gets bored & has nothing to play with he digs for drama he loves to start unnecessary arguments that have no value whatssoever, he’s scared of dogs, he only trusts sniper & maybe heavy to handle his birds if he were to die, heavy & archimedes are like mega comfort objects(?) for him !!, he’s kinda really bad at showing he likes/cares for people, this goes especially hard on engie ):, he has a really big sweet tooth, he cant cook, he doesnt ever censor himself and can be pretty rude, he’s an open book and has no sense of integrity, he got super attached to heavy right off the bat for seemingly no reason and it was just super awkward lol, he gets distracted really easily and drops projects too often when he gets bored/forgets, his room is a mess he doesnt know how to do chores, he’s trans and hasnt done anything to medically transition but he handles everyone on team who is

unpopular opinion

he’s not a fucking sociopath lol like he has a heart and cares he just has a hard time differentiating right from wrong and doesnt think things out i love you

song i associate with them

this is my emo music time i keep changing this but im gonna go It Was A Swift Not A Swallow - Crywank

favorite picture of them

i cant pick between these two he’s saving his fucking boyfriends life & also the 2nd he just looks so peaceful and :)

Scout

favorite thing about them

he’s a sweet boy!!! he just wants friends and he’s stuck with a bunch of middle aged men we have to love his endurance also he’s a little baby faced menace i love you

least favorite thing about them

in the canon i ignore lol.. too straight we cant have that

favorite line

all his lines talking about how the group of them are all best friends and stuff??? i love that

brOTP

sniper !!!! also spy also everyone

OTP

no one really lol pyro is like. the only one im comfy w/

nOTP

sniper lol if we’re talking popular things & all the rest of the mercs really

random headcanon

he’s a super sweet boy who loves everyone on the team, he warmed up the fastest out of all of them and became super attached!!, he really wants a base dog, he really likes to spend time with everyone and listen to them talk like he loves sitting with engie and having him explain nerdy engineering nonsense that he’ll never get but he tries to but its just fun seeing how excited the other person is!!!, he became super close to sniper right off the bat for some reason which is weird bc scout can talk forever and sniper doesn’t know how to hold a conversation for more than 5 minutes but they like hanging out even if it gets tiring, he lives off of sugary drinks medic keeps telling him to stop, he loves to hang out w/ spy and they get on each others nerves but really enjoy it at the end of the day, he has little to no sense of boundaries, he loves to give hugs!!, he really tries to engage with everyone’s interests like i said he just loves making/seeing other people happy, he loves being part of big groups it always just feels like a big family to him

unpopular opinion

he gay :)

song i associate with them

the calculation - regina spektor

favorite picture of them

trans rights!!!

Soldier

favorite thing about them

he is a sweetheart he is my big stupid husband and we both love raccoons =.=

least favorite thing about them

the patriotism…… we arent having that

favorite line

he’s literally so fucking funny especially all his things w/ merasmus and just. everything

brOTP

excluding demo uh !!! SPY!!!! :D

OTP

demo :)

nOTP

engie x.x

random headcanon

he’s super sweet !!! he loves his friends so much, he loves to show off his raccoons to everyone :), he bonds w/ sniper over wildlife(raccoons), everyone has a lot of patience w/ him bc he struggles to communicate things a lot and kinda needs his time to get points across, he’s actually really observant and it would be really good if he just didnt jump to wild conclusions based off of it all the time, he’s really conscious of his actions and how they affect others like he’s kinda violent impulsively but hes taken note of who is and isnt okay with it or who’s okay w/ him saying what in front of them, he’s really protective of his friends!!! he knows theyre capable but he loves looking out for them, he loves to drag them off on fitness expeditions/training but he tires out before a good number of them/gets bored, he wakes up the earlies he loves the mornings, he can cook but nobody knows it, like scout he loves to indulge in what other people like but he’s more handson he loves to screw in screws for engie or hand medic tools or read out loud to spy or heavy or show sniper things he catches/turn over rocks with him, he loves medics birds but doc wont let him touch them ):, he wants to get a base dog too, he has no volume or tone control, probably the best hugger, he’s kinda shy about personal things like himself in general or being trans & liking guys he’s actually pretty decent at keeping personal things to himself not that he wouldnt share it just feels weird,

unpopular opinion

he’s not just like shouty mean stupid man,,, he’s actually really sweet

song i associate with them

rejoice- AJJ

favorite picture of them

i have worse naked honey pics but this is fucking it lads gay rights

#im like. digging thru my tee eff 2 playlist on spotify this is hell #asks #tf text #sorry this is long lol i feel like im leaving out so much #also shout out to cecil youre the only valid person out here #triplecrossed #if i missed anything kick me #these make me so happy to do i love talking and talking and talking about my interests

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tiniechankai · 5 years

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my favourite sailor moon season 1 episodes

since i’m rewatching the sailor moon series (again...) i thought i would rank all my favourite episodes from each season then compile them all together and see which episode is my absolute favourite of the entire show. considering i have no idea what my favourite episode is... maybe i’ll know now, hah.

Episode 8 - The Girl Genius Is a Monster: The Brainwashing Cram School of Horror

so uh... as a stressed student i can relate to this a lot. the kids going into the cram school is me going into school every morning. this is definitely not my favourite episode of the season but the introduction to ami is really sweet, especially when people whisper about ami behind her back but then when usagi actually meets her, ami ends up being the sweetest girl.

i also just love the fact that ami freaking owned everyone in that arcade on the sailor v game?? like wow feminism right there

Episode 10 - The Cursed Bus: Enter Mars, the Guardian of Fire

mars is my favourite inner senshi and she’s honestly so cool in this episode. this is probably the only episode in the entire series where she’s quite akin to her manga self, and while i love her in the anime, i think her aloof manga self is great too. it’s interesting to me to get a look into japanese culture through shinto. watching this as a kid i had no idea what was really japanese religion and such so learning about this was cool (i had like 4 sailor moon episodes and they were all the introductory episodes to the senshi). also the bus was really freaky and scary and just what the heck. rei’s reaction to jadeite is also quite funny (she basically has heart palpitations of him, and not the good kind)

Episode 17 - Usagi's a Model: The Flash of the Monster Camera

one of the few episodes that aren’t the finale that i can tell you that usagi kicks some legitimate ass in here. like what a badass! i can’t say i know the last time usagi has done this, hah. this entire episode includes everyone telling usagi she can’t be a model because she’s not a good enough person or she’s not pretty enough. i mean even mamoru is back being the asshole he is in this first season, even though he goes on about how she won’t be picked because she’s not pretty on the inside and what not (like wth dude you don’t even know her) but usagi is picked anyways (like everyone who signed up but... whatever) and then she is left alone to fight the youma and then she is to fight the monster by herself. she does so by cleverly using the mirrors. one of the saddest bits in the show is when he family is watching the tv while usagi is asleep in her room they talk about how they wish usagi was as great as the girl who saved the photographer’s life (sailor moon) but ?? do they not care about the factt that usagi was AT THAT PHOTOSHOOT?? GETTING ATTCKED?? i know they don’t know she’s sailor moon but heck she was there she might’ve been attacked. the tsukino household can be so annoying sometimes hfksdh i digress

Episode 20 - The Summer, the Beach, Youth and Ghosts

this is a genuinely hilarious episode. poor mitsuishi kotono, she spent most of the episode screaming at the ghosts lmao. i like this episode because we see the girls get up to their usual loud shenanigans (and hell i love me a beach episode). this is also a episode about a heavy topic of a girls’ father forcing herself into a duty she is too young to deal with. it gets pretty dark too and i can see why they didn’t put this into the dic dub (she literally starts CRYING and i get these sort of like... really bad rape vibes. I KNOW HE’S HER FATHER BUT IT’S SO GROSS). anyways, it’s really dark but has it’s funny moments as we focus on some other characters, it’s a really good beach ova.

Episode 21 - Protect the Children's Dreams: Friendship Through Anime

this episode is so great, i really do love it. it might might be my favourite in the season. i just love these two friends a lot, especially hiromi as a character (the shorthaired one). hiromi deals with being jealous over her friend’s sketches in animating and it gets so bad that nephrite has to come by with his stupid self and ruin everything. anyone with low self esteem such as hiromi can relate to constantly feeling like you’re in the shadow of your colleagues, your best friend. nephrite’s episodes tend to be my favourite because we see that our actions, when we are selfish and snobby that it affects others a lot. even though i despise nephrite his episodes have become a favourite of mine.

Episode 28 - The Painting of Love: Usagi and Mamoru Get Closer

one of the few episodes where mamoru isn’t a complete ass to usagi (i think?) and he’s actually kinda ... civil with her. he still treats her like a child but i mean she acts like one so... i like this episode a lot because you can really see the difference in usagi and mamoru with the help of this really cute artist lady yumemi. i also think it’s really funny how usagi even meets yumemi is because she’s going to call out mamoru for cheating on rei lmao. this episode is really nice just because it starts more heavily foreshadowing about mamoru and usagi’s backseat relationship.

Episode 31 - Love and Chased: Luna's Worst Day Ever

if you don’t like this episode then there’s GOT to be something wrong with you. this episode is pure crackhead goodness while we get a spoof of sailor moon’s own show with loveable luna and righteous rhett butler, luna’s love interest before we even knew artemis’ name. this episode is just pure gold and this might be my second favourite episode of the season, not gonna lie. when i saw the cat bone instead of tuxedo mask’s rose, i remember laughing so hard i couldn’t breathe. i love this show.

Episode 37 - Let's Become a Princess: Usagi's Bizarre Training

being princess hard. not my favourite episode for any particular reason other than it’s REALLY enjoyable to watch. i also just love how usagi sucks at literally everything i suck at and she is just so relateable in this episode. i also love how she’s not the only one who sucks at ballroom dancing, minako can’t dance and rei is too much of a dom to let the other guy lead. feminism!

Episode 38 - The Snow, the Mountains, Friendship and Monsters

this episode marks one of my favourites because it begins rei’s total understanding of usagi’s relationship with mamoru and this continues from this episode until SAILOR STARS (yes i know she was kinda understanding of usagi in episode 35 but she also slapped usagi so...) but this episode is full of clumsy usagi goodness and the great friendship of usagi and rei.

Episode 43 - Usagi Abandoned: The Falling-Out of the Sailor Guardians

i love these sorts of episodes, and just like the previous one, we get even MORE usarei friendship moments and i’m LIVING for it. even the senshi think mars actually hates usagi but noooppppe she’s actually her bestie. this is a great episode.

Episode 44 - Usagi's Awakening: A Message from the Distant Past

ok so i don’t really like mamoru and usagi BUT i like serenity and endymion. this backstory episode is GREAT and i wish i had a short show based around fun at the moon kingdom because that would be great? i love sailor moon don’t get me wrong but i don’t like mamoru and usagi. cough. this episode gives off a more ethereal quality and is sucha beautiful episode animation wise.

Episode 46 - Usagi's Eternal Wish: A Brand New Life

while the last episode was HEARTWRENCHINGLY SAD i can’t get over how sad this episode is. not even mentioning how awesome it is when the beginning of moonlight densetsu comes on when usagi pull out her moon wand. this episode rips me apart because while i dislike usagi and mamoru this dialogue just makes me so sad “Live a normal life. Find a cool boyfriend.” “Nobody’s cooler than you.” AND I CRIED. nobody’s cooler than you, the asshole who called me fat, stupid, and ugly for 30 episodes. but whatever, i’m still sad. and then usagi’s monologue at the ending (i’m not a big fan of kae araki as usagi but i still... love the monologue so much) and just wow. what a great ending.

this was more episodes then i expected

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cerealmonster15 · 6 years

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Whiskey and Tango headcanon / fic-esque thing idk it’s just me saying disorganized words about the boys bonding and falling in love or something

Whiskey meets tango on the taddy tour

Whiskey is super in awe that he’s at the school of THE jack Zimmermann and is on the team that THE jack zimmermann Played on

There’s so much he wants to know

But he doesn’t wanna like.... ask stuff

This was jack Zimmermanns team, he’s gotta play it cool and can’t risk looking like a dork

But this other dude, Tony? He’s going all out and shameless asking any question he’s ever had. Whiskey can’t really think of him as a dork, though, considering he has a lot of the same wonders

Whiskey sticks to tango to get The Lore and throws in a few of his own questions

So by the end, tango’s already asked for whiskeys phone number “so we can be newbies together!” Tango thinks it’ll be less intimidating to have someone to fumble through the beginning with. Whiskey nods as he types his number into his new teammate’s phone.

Whiskey isn’t the most chatty guy, but that doesn’t seem to deter tango

Multiple times a day, whiskey gets a new text, generally from a confused tango trying to figure something out or are just random things about his day

“Do u know where building e is?”

“My history professor looks like Danny devito but i dont think it’s actually him”

“How do I get the cereal out of the dispensers in the cafeteria” “wait nevermind i figured it out” “i have way too much cereal now”

“I saw a really fat caterpillar this morning wanna see a picture”

“When you go to the bookstore are you supposed to wait at the line for them to call you over or do you just walk right up to a cashier as soon as they’re open”

At first, whiskey thought it was strange and maybe a little cumbersome to be bombarded with this boy’s questions. Whiskey figured Tango didn’t have any other friends to ask, but surely would grow bored of whiskeys no-more-than-concise replies once he found other people to talk to. But for now, whiskey figured he’d at least answer what he could or throw out an “idk” to the mysteries. No need to make his only friendquaintence on the team upset by completely ignoring him

Surely tango would get bored of him eventually with how lively the rest of the team was.

Except tango absolutely does not get bored of whiskey

The texts don’t taper off

Tango doesn’t stop shouting a greeting to whiskey whenever he sees him, even from great distances

He doesn’t stop asking whiskey how his day and classes are going during down time before and after practice

Tango even starts asking whiskey to do things outside of practice

And doesn’t stop offering even when whiskey comes up with excuses of why he’s too busy

Tango is different

And whiskey is grateful. Whiskey knows he struggles to connect with people. He finds others exhausting and confusing and he puts up an icy exterior to save himself extra anxiety or stress

Most people give up after a few tries, and while he doesn’t completely blame them, he can’t say he never gets lonely

But tango is different

The second month of the school year is going strong

Whiskey’s headed back to his dorm after a long lab or something when his phone buzzes in his jean pocket

It’s tango, naturally

“Hey, u out of lab? Wanna get dinner w/me?”

Whiskey is always surprised that tango remembers when whiskey’s told him when he does or doesn’t have class

Maybe today’s the day he should let his guard down JUST A LITTLE and just for tony

“Sure. Where?”

A few moments later and his phone buzzes again

“I dunno usually when I wander off campus I find some pretty cool places but then I can never find them again?? We can explore together?”

Whiskey isn’t sure wandering around in search of food is really how he wants to spend his evening, but he’s become more intrigued to see how tango interacts with the world around him and figures he may as well give it a shot

“K.”

This becomes a weekly thing

Slowly, whiskey gets more comfortable with tango, even texting first sometimes or greeting tango when tango doesn’t see him first

He even invites tango to come chill in his dorm one Friday after classes when his roommate leaves for the weekend

Whiskey’s been to tango’s room by now a few dozen times, but this is tango’s first time at whiskey’s and he is thrilled to see how whiskey lives

whiskey’s room is organized and minimalistic, but tango still finds plenty of items to ask about

eventually they end up laying on whiskey’s floor just talking about anything and everything. whiskey talks about how much pressure he feels to succeed and be strong and unfeeling

tango talks about feeling so lost and nervous about the unknown future

theyre both such scared freshman. tango says hes glad he met whiskey and that he feels a little less afraid with whiskey around.

whiskey waits a few moments before telling him “...um, yeah, uh, me too.” he worries his hesitance will make him sound insincere, but tango doesnt seem bothered. he grins at whiskey, who gives a small smile in return.

the next day, tango’s at the haus Very Early in pursuit of chowder and bitty to give him love advice

initially, he doesnt find them, but dex. he and dex start talking about the comp sci homework before tango just

“yeah the program kept giving me errors but after a few hours i found out i just had a bracket missing”

“ugh, that’s the worst”

“yeah. also i think i have feelings for whiskey what do i do about that”

“well- wait what!???”

dex needs a moment to process that whiplash-inducing transition, but once tango fills him in with a bit more detail he’s ready to help. with tango’s permission he calls on chowder and nursey (the latter reluctantly so) for help because theyve got Experience

it’s the four of them spitballing ideas, the frogs arguing on what is or isnt Appropriate yet Effective and also Romantic

then tango spies whiskey coming in and going to a different part of the haus so he jumps up like “oh there he is!! wish me luck!” and hes already gone while the frogs are like “wait what dont you need to prepare more?? we didnt settle on a solution?? tango????????????”

but tony tangredi’s got a one track mind at this point and catches up to whiskey

“whisk- er, uh, no, conner!”

whiskey turns around like ?? cause maybe tango usually sticks to nicknames, at least inside the haus/at practice. “uh, whats up ton-?”

“your face is nice!!!!”

“...thanks?”

“um... i also like... the rest of you”

“are you feeling okay”

after a few more stumbles, whiskey thinks he’s decoded what tango’s getting at,,, but whiskeys kinda awkward about just saying things so he has to fumble to meet tango halfway

“i.. uh.. youve got a nice face, too”

but eventually they get a date scheduled for that evening. it’s simple and nice- they go out for dinner and get ice cream after. they walk to the dorms together and share a first kiss together with some nose bumping

and of course the team loves and supports them as they did with bitty and jack and everythings great the end

#omgcp #whiskeytango #tony tangredi #omgcp whiskey #conner whatshisface lol give him a last name plz #im so sleepy bye

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theworldsoul · 3 years

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I feel so disconnected from reality, from truth. I don't even know who I am. Underneath all of the layers and layers of fake skins I've put on to hide myself, who am I really? Underneath all these layers and layers that you have suffocated me in, what is there?

I thought I was the storm, the wonder... but now I don't feel that spark of love anymore. I only feel pain.

I'm a horrible person. I'm ungrateful and honestly? I feel like I'm crazy. A lot of the times I will go off on these tangents and... the looks people give me...

I'm ungrateful. Its like,,, I SHOULD just get over the pain. I'm stupid for thinking that my pain matters. I am not suffering as bad as everyone else. I'm sad, but I dont deserve to say I'm sad, I'm just a dumb kid complaining. It's like my dad says: I should be grateful that I'm being fed and that I have a house.

Even still, my heart is loud. It screams at me even if I stop thinking about my own problems because it cares too much about other people. Tears come to my eyes quickest when the well being of other people in this world is mentioned... because they're SUFFERING and here I sit doing nothing. I hate myself for that. I contribute nothing to the cause. Reading a book of theory takes a long time for me because I get distracted so easily... and other than that I dont do anything to change this world. I hate myself for my inaction.

And overall? I'm a horrible person. I'm ugly as fuck and nobody will ever love me or care about me. I'm useless, I have no talents. I'm alone and I have no friends right now. I'll never be what's expected of me. I'll never be what I aspire to be. It hurts.

Ugly as fuck,,, I am. I am ugly as fuck, and my whole body is gross. Its shaped wrong... I barely look human. I have thick muscular calves and apparently they look like "chicken legs" and the worst part is I KNOW my legs are not supposed to be so big because when I wear pants it's common for them to strain at the calves due to all the muscle on them... its gross. If I knew sports were going to do that to my legs I wouldve opted out. Also all of my fat ends up on my thighs and its ugly... I just want nice thin legs like EVERYONE ELSE. I want to be taller... fuck I'm crying now, I really want to be taller... I look so gross with my stubby little legs full of ugly brown scars... I'm 15... i should be taller... god im so fuck ugly. My face is fat and my nose is the WEIRDEST FUCKING NOSE EVER I HATE IT I HATE IT and my skin is very bad and full of acne and I just wish I looked normal. Once I showed soemone my face for the very first time and they laughed at me... I'll never get over that.

Fuck... fuck. I just want to... let go of all this stress. I hate myself so much. I'm so inferior I cant even be considered human. I'm like, subhuman. Fuck. I wish I could just... have never existed. I wish i just never existed. The world would be better off without some ugly stupid ungreatful annoying cringe 15 year old with the ugliest face ever who cant stop fucking crying and cant perform basic tasks like SHOWERING soemtimes like dude...

I'm so sad. Honestly? I've been drained ever since I stopped having friends. Drained. I wish I had friends. I wish the kids in my class actually talked to me... I really hoped that maybe this year would be better for me. This was going to be the year!! The good year!!! But nope. No friends. No convo with anyone. I'm alone.

But dont I deserve that? The reaosn I cant make friends is because I'm a fucking weirdo. Nobody wants to talk to me. They'd rather talk to the funny kids, the kids who are outgoing, the charismatic kids, the extroverts... the kids who have everything I dont have. And I dont blame them. I'm just naturally inferior at everything, so who would want me?

Most days I cry... for hours at a time... just cry. I wish I could dissapear... the human condition is especially fragile, at least for me it is. I add that because my whole life I was told that my way of experiencing emotion was abnormal and weird and made me a bad person... and that's hard to unlearn. To this day I cant really Express my emotions to anyone irl. I WOULD talk to my friends, they offer, but I feel bad. I feel like im just burdening them with my shitty complicated issues. And really? What I want is something they can never give me. Nobody can ever give me what I want. It's far too late.

I just wanted loving accepting caring parents. But it's too late for that. They're trying now, but they can't go back in time and redo like 13 years. Everything I do now to try and cope with that is a simulation of the true thing... and its WEIRD for me to be doing that since I'm basically an adult, right? Like... they're right. They caused me so much pain but they're RIGHT that I'm stupid and useless and abnormal. An anomaly. Not. Human.

When will I ever become human? Never. I am, in my core, not human. Then what am I? I don't know. I'm an orb of light that burns to touch... housed in a human body. I want to get rid of my body and have a new one. I hate it. I want to get rid of my stress and all the pain and honestly? I think I want to die. I had a chance to do it once, but I declined the offer, and now? I regret that decision. I should've done it right then and there. But now that I didnt do it then, I'll never have another opportunity as perfect as that one e ever again. So I'm stuck here. Living. Breathing. Disgusting. Inside a body that isnt mine, inside a home where I am a scared little rabbit, inside a world where I am a grain of sand, carrying on my back a lovely crucifix.

I am SO close to relapsing right now. I want to... so bad... SO BAD. The desire is near overwhelming. Theres something about all sorts of different pains mixing together that will do that to you.

I will try to ignore it or somehting... I cant afford a relapse right now.

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diary-during-a-pandemic · 4 years

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better day one post

today was a good day, actually

i woke up and played animal crossing (new horizons) and felt like a lifetime passed in the span of two hours that i played. i think it was from 9 to 11.

oh this is random but does anyone else feel bad when you have a 9 too close to an 11? it’s like i’m just summoning all the bad things that happened during 9/11 into my core and they just build up like fat in arteries. its not even that big of a deal because its not like im actually referencing 9/11 but still, it bothers me. not even because i was cognizantly (or however you spell that) aware during that time, i just feel vaguely guilty???

but anyway, i had fun on animal crossing. i built a garden yesterday on a mountain behind my house, and funded a slope up to it. i dont think any of my villagers will wander out that far to visit it, but its nice to have the flowers so close. im not real worried about breeding them for the rarer colors, because my most favorite colors and pink and yellow (and green, but they only have mums in that color i think), but it would be nice to share them with my friends if i do get them.

i also set up a better entrance to my airport. i like to sell things on nookazon (which is, of course, amazon for animal crossing. well actually its more like ebay but i digress), but my entrance was cramped and ugly before. i really like it now, but i forgot to lay down a pretty sidewalk. that’s alright though, because grass is pretty too.

i kind of forgot what else i did since then, but i think the outfit i dressed my villager in was very cute, too. it was a tube top and some pretty red patterned pants, and i had a flower in my hair. i wish i could wear a tube top in real life, but im scared that people will try to yank it down to show my boobs. my mom said it happened to one of her sisters once (i think?). im also scared that people will do it to make fun of my fat stomach. im not shy about being fat, but ive heard “there’s nothing wrong with being fat” enough to think theres something wrong with being fat. not to get like existential about it (is that the right word?) but its like how people say theres nothing wrong with being poc. of course there isn’t, but people think there is something wrong with it enough that we have to say its not.

lmao anyway none of that is about the corona but i guess this is a diary anyway so thats alright.

anyway!

after animal crossing, i took my dog out. she’s a yorkie chihuahua breed with really bad breath. she got her bad breath from her bad teeth, because she bit my uncle so hard that she gave him stitches. he doesnt like her, but i say its what he deserves because he kept scaring her in her cage. i wont get in on the details, but im so mad at him and my extended family too, because they decided to put her outside after that and she (surprise) ran away. luckily we got her back, but me and my mom and my sister (my family) were overseas at the time, so it was very stressful. i wasnt meant to know about it, but i overhead my mom talking to my sister about it and about having her go home early to get my dog (diamond).

anyway she has really bad teeth now, and bad breath from the teeth, but i dont think it bothers her much as long as she doesnt get a lot of food stuck in them. she likes to lick my face and make it stink as bad as her tongue lmao. plus, since she’s getting old and they were already lose from biting my uncle, her teeth are starting to fall out one by one. each loss makes her breath smell better LMAO

but anyway!! i took my dog out. it had just finished raining, i think, and diamond hates the rain. we didnt stay out long. once i came back inside, i sold the rest of my turnips (in animal crossing). i had to use turnips.exchange because (even though its not sunday) according to a turnip calculator, the sell price on my island was only going to get lower and lower. maybe it would have spiked at the end of the week, but im one of those animal crossing cheaters who time skips so i figured i’d just sell them now and time skip later.

i did time skip, and i met redd (the art seller). this is my first animal crossing game that i’ve played for longer than a day, but i think redd isnt that bad. he sells counterfeit art, but i guess we all have to make a living somehow.

outside of animal crossing, im not really sure what i do anymore. school is a bit hard because (like i said) time isnt linear anymore. one of my assignments was late, but i dont think my teacher has logged in for a while so im not sure it matters. we’re all tired, and probably scared

but i finished my work, nonetheless. most of it, although i still need to read some stories for class and give my classmates feedback. im a creative writing major. i love writing, even though im not confident in my abilities all the time. i hope i dont come off as a bad writer here. if i do, i hope nobody ever tells me lmao

now its 10:30 pm. my mom just told me to put the clothes in the dryer for her. that, and doing the dishes, is my only chore but i forgot most of the time (which is why she reminds me of course). i like sitting in the laundry room because i like the smell of the lint. its hard, though, because my mom and i, even with her reminders, are bad at washing clothes. we forget and let them pile up until they dont fit in the room anymore.

although, to be fair, we dont have a very large laundry room. it fits our washer and dryer and barely one of those laundry baskets that has wheels and a pull out handle. you know the one, probably.

anyway this is getting a little long, especially for a first post lmao. im getting distracted and starting to pull up other stuff, and my mom came in to make me pick out a different face mask to order (i think from etsy but probably name brand knowing my mom), so i guess i’ll cut myself off there.

i didnt do much else today anyway.

oh, also the mask i chose is a rainbow peace pattern! just in case anyone wanted to know.

#day one #corona #ill try to tag all of my posts with corona so that anyone can block the tag #im sure they already have though #blocked corona i mean #lmao anywayyyyyy #also im going to keep tagging simple because i am a simple girl who doesnt tag anymore #i barely use tumblr #but i was on it all day today for some reason #it reminds me of better times #anyway #see you tomorrow #long post #most of my posts are long #so you should just block me now if you see this #i love how this mostly became about animal crossing

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somecorneroftheearth · 4 years

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Be nice will ya??

This is a very personal post. I see a lot of me in a lot of people these days, and I know esp new mothers will relate to this but refuse to speak on it so here it goes...

People are cruel, insensitive, blunt, impolite.. basically very mean and rude. So I gained a lot of weight during the nine months of my pregnancy, like I was 83kgs by the end of my third trimester, I gained more than I had imagined, (I was 57kgs before I got pregnant) and after the baby was born like IMMEDIATELY!! everyone came for me! "You look chubby".."you look fat".."your face, hands and feet look swollen".."you've gained so much weight" (and these are the same people who said "you look so nice and healthy" "it's good to gain weight, your baby will be healthy" "omg!! You're glowing" "you should eat more as you're eating for two" and all that fake BS while you were pregnant!!! The same damn people!!) Since every pregnancy is different I did get a lot of cravings and I didn't really pay much heed because I was determined to lose those extra kilos after delivery. But, let me tell you, initially I was ok with myself and giving everything I could, because I had just entered motherhood and this was the newest phase of my life and I was already going through so much at the hospital and since I had a c section delivery I took sometime to heal and I couldn't connect with my baby like I thought I would and I needed all the guidance I could, but not for long..people who came over to meet us, commented on my body, and some also compared their pregnancy and weight issues with mine. Like, how they lost so many kilos after birth and how they got back in shape which only made me super stressed and in time, I became extremely conscious about my body and refused to even look at the pics that were being taken. I felt that my body hated me and I hated how I looked. Weeks after my baby was born, my pre-pregnancy clothes didn't fit me, the only size that fit me was the size between "L" and "XL" which obviously didn't exist and I had to settle for the XL!! People can really make you feel awful and it's still a mystery behind what they get by being so vile and nasty to someone who has just given birth to a baby and is trying to cope with an entirely new experience thats coming her way! I started to lose trust, I didn't trust people around me and the worst part I didn't trust myself!

Yes, it hurts, hurts a lot when the conversation starts with things like, "Whoa!! I didn't recognize you!!!you're much bigger than the last time I saw you!!" Like hell yeah!! I gave birth and it's not like I hogged for friggin 9 months and I can just bounce back to my pre pregnancy body like you see online, afterall I held and nurtured a beautiful little human inside me and it ain't easy, mothers will know how difficult it is to get pregnant and how careful we have to be during all the trimesters and let's not even talk about the hormones goin' haywire!!

Surprisingly, I saw this coming out from aunties who are already mothers to full grown adults and they know exactly what happens post delivery. All mothers go through post partum phase and it's not easy even for someone who has or had more than 3 kids because every pregnancy and baby is different and mothers esp MOTHERS.. please don't ever..I mean EVER body shame another mother!!be encouraging, share your experiences, give tips on delivery,breastfeeding, how to deal with post partum stress and not add more to it! I mean what's the harm in being nice and encouraging than being vicious and blunt!

The problem with us women is, we don't respect each other and we really dunno when to keep our mouths shut, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all! Can't we be more thankful and grateful for the fact that both the mother and the baby are healthy and safe?? Like, isnt that more important?? I mean what have we become? And why have we become this way??? and the worst part is, they are your relatives, someone from your family, as if I don't see myself in the mirror and know what's going on with me and my body! And yes I AM WORKING ON IT! Not like I can lose 10kg in a month..IT TAKES TIME! And your comments won't help me get any skinnier.

Amidst all these chaos, I was forgetting something really important. Initially, I fought with a lot of anxiety, but my husband,my family,couple of my close friends and my newest of the new mommy buddies encouraged me a lot and helped me deal with all these social stigmas. I started to realize there was this one item missing from my list and that item was "me". I had completely forgotten about myself cuz I was busy with the baby and I listened more to what others had to say than listening to myself. I had forgotten to love "me" and embrace this new person I had become.. A MOM and took a moment to notice this amazing feeling to be one and let me tell you it's not a cake walk, you need a lot of courage and strength!!(Sleepless nights, not knowing what's coming next, stress, bodypain, weaknesses, weird sensations you name it.. I experienced it all..also,my respect to all the mothers and fathers who have raised and are raising children, it's not an easy task but ain't hard either, and you won't know until you be one!) So, I gave myself a lot of time and started to take things slow and at my own pace, took deep breaths when I needed to, appreciate the time, my energy with my family and things around me. Giving myself the much needed time and rest with my baby and not getting worried about how I look. I am begining to learn so much from this little person in my life and it's true when you hold your baby you forget just about every stress on Earth and I am enjoying every minute of it.

Well, after all this rant, let me conclude by saying that I am incorporating exercise, yoga and meditation in my daily routine and I am proud to say that I did lose a whoppin' 16kgs after birth but I still have a long way to reach my so called "ideal" weight.. but you know what?? I am not worried, I will take time cuz I know what I can achieve and I know I trust myself and this body of mine and I know I can do amazing things!! People are people after all and you can't win every argument, how I wish conversations started with "how we FEEL" than "how we LOOK" only then this world would definitely be a nicer place!

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0fuckyahchickenstrips0 · 5 years

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We Are Where We Came From

Have you ever thought to ask a friend about their life? Like not just where they lived or what they did as a kid, but really asked them about all their ups and all their downs. Or even try to find out for all your family members. Humans can be very simple creatures, simple in the fact that not much really makes them tick, at least not as much as you would think. We are very mental based beings, the things we go through in our lives, really shape who it is we become. Future decisions, future events, can all be based on the things that have happened to us. I’m no specialist and this only my biased opinion, but none the less i believe it to be true. The things we go through during our childhood, early adulthood really shape us and mold how we are or what we will be as we age. The seeing ‘Monkey see Monkey do’ really isnt that far off. We see others do things and then thats how we react. This is displayed in many cases with kids who are bullies, having a mentally unstable household to go home too. Some of the worlds best psychologists have the worst backgrounds and childhoods.Have you ever really sat down and thought of all the issues you have or fears or whatever it may be and see if their is a connection to an event that has happened in your past? A child getting called names in high school will keep that with them their entire life. They will see themselves that way and change things about them or react to the situation in a way that shapes their future. An overly strict parent not wanting the same things they went through happen to their kid, inevitably pushes them to make those decisions for being too hard on them or by making a mistake of their own. Everyone thinks that the things we deal with through out our lives dont have major and lasting effects on who we all become as individuals. Here is a piece of my story, not all things in life are pretty and not everyone has great places growing up. I blame no one for my upbringing and i know why i am the way i am. I just wish to share an example of my own history, if anything to help everyone see more how actions can stay with a person throughout their life and mess up their decision making and overall way of life. My brothers and I do not share the same father, growing up we lived with their dad. He wasn’t the nicest of people and i would go as far to say he wasn’t and still isnt in the right state of mind as your average person would be. He has mental issues and once again to prove my point further, he had a crap childhood filled with abuse and death and neglect and other horrors a child shouldn't have to go through. I do not sympathize with him though, whether you have a shitty life or not how you choose to react in a clear state of mind is on you, you do not have to act on how others treat you or how you were brought up to act. Beside the point, he never really liked me. I was anothers kid, the outsider, not someone under his control. Which made him angry, and his anger only grew over the years that we lived with him, which was 13 years. When he got angry and had a fit he would call me names, scream them at my mom, sometimes even come into my room to scream them at me. A large variety of names that a six year old shouldn't hear, or a ten year old, thirteen, sixteen, all through my childhood. Fat, ugly, cunt, bitch, lazy, stupid, the list goes on. He found new names and new ways to bring me down every day. He gave me new anxieties and fears and social complexes. So much so that to this day i cant have a normal trip to the store, or to go out in public. It literally stresses me out to be around people, all the time. I dont do much, which honestly im fine with. Yes im sad i cant do more and wish things were different but they arent and its just the way things are. I wish i was smaller, maybe shorter. Had a clear face, smaller nose, not so big forhead, and thicker hair. I would be okay, and feel pretty and maybe not be such an awkward being but im not those things, my forehead is big and so is my nose. Im really tall for a girl and overweight. I walk awkwardly because im constantly worried about people watching me while i walk. Im constantly worried about people judging me or thinking things of me. I can never figure out when a person is being genuine when talking on a serious matter. I just dont have the social skills for it and dont know if i ever will due to the things i had to go through as a child. A lot of what i am and do today is because of the horrible things of my childhood and yes i cant really blame it on that forever. But it is a major reason as to why im so fucked up. We tell young people all these things about them and have such high expectations. We are only human, and we can only take so much mentally. Our mentalities are very bendable and corruptible, it only takes one push and you can lose a person forever. There needs to be more support, passion, enthusiasm, love, respect, and overall generosity when it comes to our fellow humans. We are all on a planet, the only life sustaining planet around, for the rest of eternity or the end of our creation. We do not have a choice in this unless you choose to end it yourself, which is not advised for obvious reasons. We do not need to create such problems within ourselves when we have things like diseases, and mother nature, and other creatures we share this earth with. Why fight amungst ourselves. When without one another we would not live anyways. Not one being is better than the other, we are all made up the same way, bleed the same way and cry the same way,mourn the same and love the same (mostly) If you get anything from this, get that people react to everything and every event to happen in their life, whatever name you call them, whatever broken promises you make them, heartbreak, all that. It stays with them and effects them more then you can imagine. It is not hard to be a decent human being and it doesnt take much to be one either. You can make choices for yourself and know right from wrong. There is only one life that we know of and not many of us get the luxury of living it out fully. Bring back being a decent human being, dont be so narrow minded and think before you say or do something. Think fo how it would affect them or you once you do or say things. And above all, bring back the love shared to one another. The small act of telling someone they matter, or that they dont deserve the events in their life, call that girl downstairs beautiful, or compliment your coworkers new hair do. Do something, just spread positivity, instead of judging everything so harshly and holding everything to high standards. Be free and open with the ones we are surrounded by.

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josuehyhs043-blog · 5 years

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How To Explain Fat Decimator System To Your Grandparents

Why does dropping excess weight need to be so stressful? Why can it be so really hard?

There are plenty of things. It could be presumptuous to declare that dropping pounds was simple. It surely isnt! A one who has to lose then pounds finds it just a hard and annoying as the one who has to lose more than a hundred lbs .. Even though the amount of lbs look as a vast distinction between the 10-pound loser plus the hundred-pound loser, the truth is identical frustrations are experienced.

I propose that we realize The 2 significant influences We now have to master to discern if we want to obtain our weight-loss aims.

To me, the two key influences will be the outward influences and also the inward influences. An outward affect is just about anything out during the touchable, a few-dimensional genuine world like food items, scales, mirrors, folks, dresses, and so on. The inward influences are things that go on inside your coronary heart, your needs, your views, and sooner or later your steps. The two outward and inward influences Enjoy their very own roles in dropping weight. The real key is to find out how to pay far more focus to The great inward affect that will help you get rid of weight.

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Beneath are some outward influences And exactly how they impact your weigh-reduction development:

The size: reinforces your good results or failure every time you phase on it. Lower figures on the size indicate youve lost some body weight, but hardly ever more than enough according to your expectations. Bigger figures on the scale suggest you must have done anything Improper. It doesnt account for h2o-bodyweight, bloat/swelling, muscle mass mass, and many others.

The mirror: serves as our critique meter, or something that displays how the planet sights us, thus, we have to watch ourselves this way far too.

The fridge and cupboards: reminders of the NO ZONES in our households.

People: whenever they know you happen to be losing pounds, they need a report in your development.

Actual physical body exhaustion: dietary variations, training, or worrying sets in so you grow to be irritable or unfortunate occasionally.

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Food: new ingesting behavior and much healthier snack foods interfere with what youve previously referred to as ordinary, and the new routines are difficult to incorporate.

Calendars: timeframes youve established to achieve your bodyweight-decline plans is nearing its end, so you are fearful that youll be considered a failure all over again.

Menus: good meals selection looks like a CHORE, and taking in just isnt pleasurable any longer as you know the caloric depend, grams of sugar, grams of protein, and grams of Excess fat of every thing you put into your mouth.

Apparel: as you drop the pounds, apparel starts to sag on you a little bit, which will make you glimpse even worse. Having to invest cash on new dresses may be depressing if its not part of a current spending plan. Industry experts: they've got a myriad of solutions on shedding body weight, and they cant hold out for you to listen to them. This over list could go on and on dependant on how deeply you preferred to analyze this challenge. But as you can see from this shortened Variation, all of the surface influences make us truly feel the stresses of shedding body weight.

The inward influences I would like to deal with are Those people influences that some would label as self-converse, or instead self-affirmations that possibly tell us ended up alright or not all right on the earth as we realize it. Its that inner voice that every one of us have that directs us to thinning, then inevitably directs us to act according to our considering. Steps begin with ideas, and feelings begin with needs. And wants start with what we want deep inside our heart. Seems sophisticated and poetic, I admit; however it is so value the trouble to consider some time and find out how you can also make your coronary heart talk its wishes, that may prompt the feelings, that should then bring about actions.

The inward influences are Functioning properly for you personally Right up until you move on the scale or look during the mirror. Then what comes about? Youve allowed the outward influences to watch your development, and also the outward influences need to override all those constructive inward influences. You start to mock all of your current hard work youre carrying out, find disappointments, identify shortcomings, and generally debase any achievements you realized. Youll do that for one pound shed or for a person hundred lbs . shed. Why? Due to the fact youre permitting the outward influences to consider around the inward influences.

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How do you make the inward influences rank bigger than the outward influences? This is the trick Perform AT IT and recall its TWO To 1! When you listen to the Satan on your own shoulder (the outward influences) toss close to insults, uncertainties, and destructive remarks, turn your head to your angel on the shoulder (the inward influences) that fat decimator book tells you that you're carrying out amazing, youre building development, youve worked so hard, youre enhancing everyday, and youre likely to make it.

For each and every damaging remark, strike back again with two optimistic remarks. When you try this, youll normally stay a single phase ahead with the negative, which just may very well be ample to help keep you moving ahead toward the prize. The moment you DONT strike back, the outward influences attain one particular-up on you, then two-up, then soon grow to be 10-up similar to a board game and your video game piece is slipping driving to the squares. In the event you end up much too far driving within the squares, you will become extra discouraged after which you can Give up the sport all alongside one another. Similar to a child who states, perfectly, I guaranteed cant get now, leaves the game and pouts on his way house.

The outward influences must be Element of the procedure, sadly. This is the checking, our measuring stick that proves we've been accomplishing the appropriate points.

Your body doesnt have an understanding of this in the least. The human body can be a grand machine that is consistently hectic with checks and balances, ensuring that al devices are GO, that all operations are operating for their greatest capabilities. It doesnt have enough time for thoughts. It only does its functional tasks accordingly. So you cannot rely on the body to be aware of any inward influences or outward influences such as Ive outlined. It's only worried about system functions and getting things done.

So work Pretty difficult at shelling out extra awareness to the inward influences. But take into account that You need to place the inward influences in there prior to deciding to can in fact utilize them. Like Placing gasoline in the vehicle to make it go, you have to set The nice inward influences in to produce them accessible when you should phone upon them. Here are several fantastic inward influences or angel tones you'll be able to set into your intellect right now that can help you reach:

I am undertaking Effectively, looking at this isnt uncomplicated!

I'm generating development!

I havent dropped nonetheless, but I havent attained both!

I however will need to lose XX kilos, but glimpse what Ive accomplished to this point!

I didnt consume one terrible snack currently!

I acquired in all of my fluids nowadays!

I however could get my fluids in right now in advance of bedtime!

I got all of my protein in right now!

I can squeeze far more protein in now if I test!

I like the fact that Its obtaining much easier to stroll up the stairs!

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I like The reality that I can stoop more than and decide on that up off the floor!

I like The reality that I can say NO to that cookie!

This provides you a Start out TODAY to start to set a lot more inward influences within so you can struggle the outward influences with additional electric power! Remember the fact that you have to review of the fat decimator system book do TWO inwards For each and every A single outward. Stay In advance of the game, so you wont go household a quitter!

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