#i wasnt gonna drink the whole thing i had half and then put it in my fridge and then a little bit later went fuck it
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essay doc title "aiya"
#wo de tian ah#<- me last night tired doing my math hw w my friend knowing i had a whole essay to write after too lol#except i wrote half of it today#and i'm still not done i have forgotten how to write essays lmao#ajfhgfbdgfdgjkhsd#this was technically due at like 5pm i think in the announcement about it#but the assignment on canvas said due at 8:22pm which i'm also late for#and then the prof was like im not gonna read ur essays on friday#turn it in like whenever like reasonably#idk it was so vague but im going with it TT#profs gonna get my essay at 4 in the morning 🤩#jk im not gonna do that again lmao but maybe like 1 or 2 at this rate djghfdkfd#im getting there i just have no idea what to do for intro and conclusion tbh XD#and i still have to push my analysis a lil but idk it's probalby not rly getting pushed that much lmao#i got a 'coffee milk tea' from a boba place LMAO idk why it's like that lol but#i wanted boba and i wanted coffee so it worked#i wasnt gonna drink the whole thing i had half and then put it in my fridge and then a little bit later went fuck it#idk if coffee works that well for me lmfao i dont think it does but#sweet drink boba giving me some semblance of motivation/reward#for these two hell weeks dlkjghfhsdf#anyway#jeanne talks#i do be coming on tumblr way too much for someone who has to finish a fucking essay come on lmfao#do i remember how to write intro and conclusion??????????? find out at 4am
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something new
a monet de haan x reader
your first gala in the upper east side, and a certain princess catches your eye...
first | previous | next
a/n: need her bad idk.
warnings: maybe a little bit of monet being ooc? idk ill set it up in the future 😭. neglectful or just kinda a hole parents bc all these kids are messed up. enjoy .
wc: 1.731
when you're parents told you they were moving the company's main office (and essentially your whole life) to new york city, its safe to say you were more than just a little upset. like, upset enough to crash one of your dads cars, but you managed to hold yourself back from doing that. barely.
granted youre family had moved around a bit when you were younger, but youd been in maine for 3 years now and had finally settled in and made actual friends. and the scenery wasnt half bad either.
but as you ride in your parents limo down the streets of manhattan, you cant help but feel isolated. cold. like the citys skyscrapers are mocking you. and dear old dad lecturing you on proper gala etiquette is not helping.
"and remember, everything you do and say reflects on us and the company. be smart about your actions and choose your words wisely. especially to your new peers. none of that sarcasm you oh so love."
ah, yes. the students of constance billiard. the children of the powerful and rich, the next great minds of our future...
a glorified description instead of calling them all a bunch of annoying privileged assholes. granted you were also privileged, but you knew how to at least act like a decent person.
the limo eventually rolls to a stop outside of a grand building, the flashes of paparazzi cameras slightly blinding you. you put on a fake smile anyway.
once inside your parents leave you to mingle with potential new business partners. or a new social circle. same thing.
so here you are, wandering the halls and rooms of the museum, eventually making youre way to the open bar and grabbing yourself a drink. non-alcoholic of course, wouldnt want drunken you causing a scandal and ending up in the gossip blogs by the morning.
"sure you dont want something stronger?" a voice sounds from your right. it comes from a man, or a boy rather, probably around your age. hes tall with pale skin, tired eyes, and sunken cheeks. "trust me, around these...vultures, youre gonna need it."
you laugh through your nose, tipping your head and glass torwards the stranger. "believe me i would if could but uh...expectations and all that. you know how it is."
"hm, sounds familiar. but uh, no, my dads are more the "we'll always support you and ignore the stupid shit you do" type. which i guess works out great for me." he says, taking a long sip of his drink.
he seemed a bit troubled, but then again, every kid here was. comes with the cash.
"try having your parents be both overbearing and absent at the same time. mindfuck isnt even the word." you sigh, smiling when he chuckles after you.
sharing this much with a stranger isnt the smartest move, you know. but youre feeling reckless.
as you both continue witty conversation, you feel eyes burning into your side. you glance to your right, and you luckily manage to keep your eyes from widening as a pretty pair of brown eyes connect to yours.
the boy (whos named you learned is max) follows your line of sight. his eyebrows raise and he wears a sly smile.
"ah, see you've caught monets eye. wish i could say shes harmless but..."
monet. you repeat the name a few times in your head. you like it.
you're brought back to attention when you feel a cold hand on your shoulder. max smiles at you and nods torwards the other side of the room.
"cmon, let me introduce you"
.
.
.
"who is that?"
"hm?" luna hums, too busy on her phone to pay much attention to what her best friend is speaking. she needs to pick the best pictures of julien tonight to post, after all.
monet sighs, tapping the dark-haired girl aggressively on the shoulder and pointing to where max sits at the bar, indulging in what seems like a pleasant conversation with an attractive stranger.
luna squints her eyes and hums. "hm...they do look familiar... let me check." she goes back on her phone, quickly tapping before showing the screen to her best friend.
"her name is y/n l/n, daughter of edmund and marianne l/n, renowned for their investments in colleges and college funding. family is in between old and new money. only recently moved here to new york. she's most likely going to go to constance so we should see her around..."
the girl trails off her sentence as she notices the other still staring contemplatively in your direction. she realizes and laughs lightly. "i see youve picked your next prey."
she tries not to laugh louder as monet's head whips torwards her, an unconvincing scowl on her face. "no, its because shes new and already talking to max. we need to make sure shes not a threat. thats all."
"whatever you say, hun." luna sighs, texting a blunt message to the afromentioned boy.
come over. bring that girl with you.
.
.
.
there werent many times in your life you were nervous - enough that you could count them on one hand. but now, being led over to some of the hottest most intimidating people you've seen tonight by a boy youve know for 10 minutes, its safe to say youre a little on edge.
"y/n, i, regretfully and against my will," he starts, whispering the last part under his breath making you purse your lips trying not to smile, "introduce you to my group of friends."
the next few seconds of silence makes you feel like a 7-year-old introducing themselves to their new class. luckily, one of the girls, with light brown skin and buzzed down hair gives you what seems like a genuine smile. "hi there, y/n, im julien. this is obie, luna, and monet. its nice to meet you."
she introduces herself and her friends that sit to her right; a boy with curly brown hair and an abnormally large forehead, a tall girl who wears a pretty but almost...scheming? smile, and then the most gorgeous girl youve seen tonight with brown skin and brown twists.
you meet the gaze of the last one. monet. shes staring you down with lidded brown eyes that watch your every move like a hawk. you stare back challengingly. the corner of her mouth raises with a smile.
"sit down. we dont bite." there was a glint in monets eyes as she spoke, hoping you pick up on what she wants to say. unless you want me too.
you unwillingly break eye contact when you sit down across rom her and next to max. he slightly nudges you, and laughs when you see his expression and roll your eyes.
"so y/n, are you new around here? how are you liking ney york so far?" the one called obie asks.
you squint your eyes as you think over your answer. "yeah, my parents just moved here for their business. and the city is fine. a little...duller than what i had in mind."
"maybe you just arent looking in the right places." monet speaks up, moving her hand from propping up her face to reaching over her leg.
"really?" you ask, resuming the charged eye contact between you two.
"really."
"shes right, most generic tourist shit is worn out by now," max speaks up, lifting his drink up in the air to you. "us natives would be happy to show you around to all the truly unique spots."
you dont show it but his enthusiasm to include you makes you feel warm inside.
"i'd...really appreciate that. thanks. but only if its alright with the rest of you. wouldnt wanna intrude in your little social circle."
you turn towards the other four, waiting for their responses. julien and obie look inviting enough, luna looks indifferent yet intrigued. monet is wearing a blank expression.
luna whispers into her ear.
she smiles.
"we'd be happy too."
max smiles and claps his hands.
"fantastic. welcome to your own little circle of hell."
.
.
.
the night continues and so do the conversations. occasionally throughout the night you go back into the habit of observing people and direct it to your new acquaintances.
how obie doesnt look quite that comfortable around his so called friends since childhood.
how luna and monet stick together like the creepy ass twins from the shining.
how juliens side of the conversations sometimes go stale.
how max drinks and drinks.
rich kids with rich kid problems.
.
.
.
eventually the night ends and you say your goodbyes after exchanging information. you smile and laugh with max, whos not quite hammered but does have the slurred speech and looseness in his body of someone who does, who is glad to have a friend who "doesn't have a pogo stick far up their ass" and eager to show you around the city in the forthcoming weeks before school starts up again.
as you wait outside on the curb waiting for the valet to bring your car back around and parents to stop smooching up to the other business people that went to the gala, you spot a figure slowly coming up to your left.
"ive gotta say, youve made quite the little introduction tonight, l/n" her smooth voice directs to you, staring out ahead of her before she looks to you at your slight chuckle.
"i barely did or said anything, max was the one to introduce and talk for me most of the night."
"you didnt need to. you're fresh meat. everyones going to be intrested in you regardless."
you smirk. "is that why you were staring holes into me all night?"
she moves her mouth to speak before who you assume to be her mother walks up beside her and tells her their car is here, the girl nodding as her mother leaves yet again.
"you're lucky you met us tonight, l/n. we'll knock you into shape soon enough." she tells you before walking after her mother. it sounds like a promise and a threat wrapped into one.
you meet eyes before she gets inside her car.
you feel the tap of fathers hand on your shoulder, urging you to get inside your vehicle.
as you sit inside the car, your parents conversation dulls as you watch the city streets pass you by.
they all seem a bit brighter, you think.
.
.
.
.
ooo the way i had to force myself down and finish this. i feel like the way i wrote this and y/n in general flip flopped but idk i'll fix it. thinking of making this a series but dont wanna get ahead of myself. sorry this took so long 😭😭
#aki menzies#audrey hope#gossip girl reboot#gossip girl reboot x reader#gossip girl x reader#julien calloway#luna la#monet de haan#obie bergmann#monet x reader#monet de haan x reader#black reader in my mind but applies to all#need her bad
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ok the willy wonka fixation has been boiling somewhere in the back of my head ever since i had to supress it the other day so im just gonna go full stream of consciousness here until i burn out
( also yes i am aware of the upcoming prequel. i want to be excited but my expectations are low and the trailers felt very ‘trying too hard to be whimsical’ and not really genuine to me, but i refrain from judgement until ive seen it. im very open to the concept but uncertain about the potential execution)
SO ok so the thing is. i am a remake stan. in general and in the case of willy wonka. so. ok. about remakes. i genuinely think the people who reject remakes immediately on sight without giving it half a chance, and say they’re the true fans for doing so, are. hypocrites? thats not the right word. disingenuous? i dont know. my point is if you really love a story wouldnt you be excited to see a new telling of it? you dont have to like it, but people who say burton wonka sucks just Because its a remake and its not the original, thats just unfair to me
and if you dont like it because it isnt like the original - what would be the purpose of a remake if it’s exactly the same as the original? isnt the point to make it your own and put a new spin on it?
AND FURTHERMORE, gene wilder willy wonka is quite unlike the Actual Original, book wonka, to the point that roald dahl himself didnt even like the movie (i think. i havent researched that in a long time so my memory’s hazy)
and you know what! while personally i like the original more, its a major classic, nobody is gene wilder, nobody could ever be gene wilder, but johnny depp wasnt trying to Be gene wilder. he was playing his own version of the character and i respect that (you dont have to like him or his portrayal but my point is if he was just trying to be gene wilder it wouldve just been sad and weird. at least his version was unique and interesting)
so: if you hate it because its different? invalid, remakes SHOULD be different.
hate it because you hate johnny depp? fair, thats fine, you dont have to like him or his performance.
another complaint i see often is that ~they added all this weird unnecessary stuff~ and you know what????? Most of that is direct from the book. the dentist father backstory wasnt. you can criticize that. i personally dont have an issue with it but that is a departure from canon. however. the prince pondicherry story? from the book. grandpa joe used to work for wonka? from the book. wonka’s jungle adventures and how he met the oompa loompas? direct from the book. the oompa loompa songs have the direct word for word lyrics from the book for the most part. its closer to the original than the classic movie was, actually!
you know what didnt happen in the book? the fizzy lifting drinks scandal. the whole point was that charlie was a genuinely good, kind child who respected mr wonka, having him steal from him and be essentially the same as the other kids actively contradicts the point of the story! but we’re all cool with that, i guess??
another argument i see? oh its so weird to give this whimsical childrens story to tim burton, he made it so dark and offputting!
first of all. have you seen the original? remember the scary tunnel??? that shit is not in the book. that was never explained. they had no reason to put that in there but they did that for us. i love scary tunnel. but it has nothing to do with the original and is way creepier than anything tim burton did. plus you dont see the Bad Kids come out at the end so the implication that they just fucking died in there is way stronger (seeing them come out changed but alive happens in the book too!)
so, the original is possibly /scarier/, and on top of that - have you ever read a roald dahl book? any of them? this man wrote almost exclusively about horrible nasty scary things. he wrote a story about an evil crocodile who eats children (specifically, and spitefully) and then gets thrown into the sun and dies. he wrote about giants devouring children around the world every night while they sleep. he wrote about evil witches who lure children away to their horrible ghastly deaths for no reason other than They Hate Children. tim burton was a PERFECT fit and honestly i wish he’d gone darker
and dont even get me Started on “depp wonka is a pedophile!!!!!!!” because literally where the fuck did that accusation come from. again you dont have to like him. you can say hes weird and creepy and you dont like him. thats fine. but he never did Anything that remotely came across pedophillic in any sense. hes actively disgusted by children. violet hugs him and he is physically REPULSED. there are valid criticisms to be had here but he is Not A Pedophile and i am sick to death of hearing it
anyway. i think im normal now carry on
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For modern au!bully the fatui-- weird shit/abilities they develop because of their rich kid upbringing or just general rich kid-ness
Diluc: godlike sense of smell
I feel like hed have this because, even if he hates the taste of wine and alcohol in general, he still has to work and do his job as he is expected to take over the family business. He has to keep quality control and help with the making of new wine and even cocktail recipe books and food guides to pair or mix the wine with. And all of that has to do with taste. But the thing with wine is, it has to be smelled first before tasting to really get the full flavor. And Diluc, who is as stubborn as a mule and so set on not drinking wine, just-- starts training his nose from early childhood and even until now so it can basically act as a second tongue just so he doesnt have to taste the wine. His sense of smell is so precise that he can tell the acidity and quality of the soil used for the grapes, the age and quality and even the damn sPECIES of grapes, fruits and whatever is used in the making-- god he can probably even tell the grape tenders life story from it-- mans basically kamado tanjiro from demon slayer and akira hayama from food wars fused together and specialized for wine smelling.
Ayato: obsure culture and history facts, and a really precise eye for detail
Mans entire job is to be an event planner for any and all important and/or cultural events. If he gets even a SINGLE THING WRONG, hes probably gonna get fucking dragged. So to combat this, he just-- absorbs all of the history. Half, if not, most of his work sched is literally just him reviewing historical events, documents, etc. and interviewing and talking to historians and cultural experts to just brush up and even update his mental archive. It got to such a point that he actually studied a wHOLE OTHER COUNTRYS ENTIRE CULTURE AND HISTORY BECAUSE HE WENT LIKE "oh shit, for this event, this country had a thing with this other country and fUCK I NEED TO ACCOUNT FOR THAT TOO--" and thomas just in the background like "sir, you dont have to-- that country isnt even involved with the history of this festival--" and ayatos just tearing thru his archive and aggressively googling like "bUT I NEED TO MAKE SURE--" so now hes a history and culture buff. Literally. This man can slice you in half while monologuing about the cultural significance of fucken..... toilet paper.
Yelan: green thumb and plant nerd
Yanshang Teahouse was a teahouse first and foremost before it became a casino under Yelans leadership. Of course to respect and keep up the ruse of it still being a teahouse sorta, yelan had to quickly learn and pickup tea culture and history, much like ayato. But unlike ayato, yelan wasnt raised to take over the yanshang teahouse and therefore only had like what? A couple months or something to pickup and master the craft before she had to update their business from "teahouse" to "teahouse and casino" like how resorts world is both a casino and mall. So most of her waking hours spent in the acquisition and integration of the company was her just speed running "how to tea for dummies 101", during which she actually got a bit of an obsession over tea after having aquired the taste and tried to blend it with her spices. First attempts of mixing tea with spice was a fail. So, she got it into her head that-- if she cant put the spice into the tea, what if she put the tea into the spice?? And started bREEDING TEA VARITIES WITH CHILLIES. Its more of a hobby as she is still learning more and more about tea culture and hasnt stopped learning and teaching herself ever since the acquisition, but you bet your ass once she gets a good mix, she will snort that shit.
Lol wanted to add yelan having insane sleight of hand skills but thats to be expected when you own a casino AHAHA
So I have little idea to add.
They have been together so long they've been learning each other's skills. Like Diluc loves to garden with Yelan and he helps her with the smell cause he can tell how the soil is. Yelan will actually tolerate Ayato's history lessons and planning. And Ayato just like drinking well Diluc goes over the smell. It's all great
#Bully the Fatui Brigade#diluc ragnvindr#diluc#kamisato ayato#ayato#yelan#yelan genshin impact#diluc headcanons#ayato headcanons#yelan headcanons
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I woke up at 08:59 today
because I set an alarm.
After I wake up, I’ve been laying around just in my own head. Getting my wits about me. Trying to recollect my dreams.
I can’t really pinpoint any one part.
But there was smoking or maybe just weed in a room where it wasnt supposed to be. There was some type of event outside at like a park. At one point some dude was chasing me or I was chasing him or multiple of us were chasing him idk. The moon. The moon was out of the sky and it was a crescent and it was laying on something in front of me but it wasnt rock and its health was like depleting over time. There was a good bit of frustration. Uncle Allen was there at some point. I was texting zariah about meeting somewhere but she was meaning to text somebody else. I think she said something about sorry i didnt know you needed your id. And whatever event was going on at the parky place I remember showing my id. She meant to text kasai and i was so confused. There were some people from rec softball but I cant remember who.
A whole lot of feels and pieces from my dreams but I can’t string together any solid imagery or storyline.
Yesterday I woke up. Laid around with tummy discomfort. Typed. Used the bathroom and read divergent. Showered. Went and made breakfast. The menu was already laid out for me so it was easy. Just how I like it.
Muffins (we only had blueberry so that made it easy), Bacon (cut in half) (the already opened pack looked questionable when compared to the new pack but nobody’s dead so its all good), [mini] tater tots, and hard boiled eggs (next time I need to put them in ice to make it easier to peel). And I made sausage for daddy.
I napped shortly after that on the couch. I woke up to questions about a crab broil, and then went and picked it up. I stopped at walgreens before that and saw Dante. I got Nana’s gift cards and Cameron a card that I didn’t even give to him.
I picked up the food. 16 wings from Stokos. 2 of which were eaten. Order #92 from Crafty Crab.
I pulled up to the house right after Nana and her new Cadi. We all signed cards last minute as we do.
Cameron opened his gifts. He went for a small bag first. Then He went for the box. I knew he was going for the phone and he was right on the second guess. Or maybe the first gift opening was a courtesy and he already knew it was the small blue box that a had a new blue phone in it.
We sang happy birthday and he waved the candles out with his hand. He wasn’t a fan of the noise makers.
Mommy and Nana opened all their cards and the celebrations were good.
The mavs beat the suns to tie the series 2-2.
I have to remember to see Dr. Strange with at least Uncle Allen soon.
The crab broils smacked. Daddy popped a bottle of sparkly whine that dripped to the floor. Mommy poured me a glass. What a life lol.
I was determined to get my hair down. So I did it. The bobby pins that were used were huge. There was a ponytail under the bun contraption. It always feels good to have my hair back down and it definitely grew like crazy. The moon is in Leo. It felt like a mane as it didnt lay straight down and framed my face. I’m probably gonna pull it back for preservation sake.
I did a hip mobility video and at one point my legs were shaking. But it was nice and felt good in a way. I have a patience for physical things and connecting to my body that I didn’t once have.
I followed it up with a night time yoga video. I added black to the end so a black lady could guide me. It was nice. I have a patience for physical things and connecting to my body that I didn’t once have.
Right after I called my gf and went to sleep.
.
Yesterday the things I did that I hadn’t done the day before were attending to my hair, and stretching.
In relation to the day before I did drink more water and I did listen to more music.
I also unpacked all of my clothes.
The things I still need to do today are order Mommy’s butta and touch Charted.
In relation to yesterday I want to
Drink even more water. Continue writing. Continue reading divergent. Continue getting in tune with my body. Continue unpacking, but try to keep in mind “do you want this in your apartment? If the answer is NO - LET IT GO”.
Other things I might want to do but won’t add it to the list are
Order a Brita filter, text Dr. Umoja, schedule CJ maintenance, cop tmr cause Kessai leaves for a week, go through my emails, and make a graduation post.
Something that is on the list is laundry. Hopefully I can get everything washed and put up.
Yesterday after dinner there was no rush to anything. And I enjoy that. I would like to hold on to that feeling, and do with my time as a i wish.
Hopefully I can get my room situated a little bit more.
TIL: Lion’s mane is a fungus.
05/09/22 10:13
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things i loved about episode 12
i owe p’aof my fucking life
the way they had us in the first half!! bbs rlly said ‘ep 11 curse? break up? separation arc?? fuck that’
patpran acting emo not bc they broke up but because they were in a long distance relationship for a year
the way pat pulled pran into his apartment
‘you only served me for 5 minuets’ ‘i was excited’ jhjhgfgh oKAY
inkpa being the cutest gfs ever god i love the two of them so much, ‘its like we have 2 daughters now’ aawwwww
pat and pran’s smirks when they lied to their parents about breaking up
pran and wai fucking winking at each other when pran told his friends that he and pat had ‘broke up’
pat going to the wrong airport like the himbo he is
the return of pat’s scent kink and pran finally indulging him
pran speaking english
the bait and switch with wai and korn, i bet their respective girlfriends hate going on double dates bc the two of them spend more time flirting with each other than them
the way dissaya and ming both know that pat and pran are still spending time together, even if they dont necessarily know they’re still dating, and have decided to let it happen
pat and pran going bacl to visit tong and junior after graduating
pat aggressively pushing more food onto his family bc he’s a habitual caretaker
‘now thats my little sister :D!!’
korn an wai doing the arm wraparound beer thing
the way they switched to the child actors during the tin can phone scene
‘this isn’t a porno pran!!’ had me howling with laughter
pat getting a turn to narrate along side pran
the way the drama between their families wasnt magically resolved but instead the parents have come to realise that their shit should stay between their generation and not be pushed onto their kids
yes yes its pretty sad pat and pran had to back to hiding their relationship BUT the fucking comedy of that car scene is unparalleled
plus them linking pinkies as they walk past each other and just generally being dorks
the return to the noodle truck
all the fuckin cheek smooches this episode
that guy from their high school who was like the MC of the reunion, my mans was bringing so much energy to that scene
prans’s very obviously green screened view from his room in singapore made me giggle
pat putting the shirt on nong nao
korn and pat teasing wait for being such a ‘religious man now’
that engineering boy in wai and korn’s bar who asked an architecture girl if she had a boyfriend and the way she replied ‘i have a husband, your dad’, queen shit right there
pat jokingly telling the engineering and architecture students in the bar to not fight bc they might end up with a lover and pran jokingly telling them it’s not worth it if they end up with a lover like pat
korn with his hair down for basically the whole ep
that classroom scene with pat and pran flipping each other off, it was like the definition of pigtail pulling
wai calling pa ‘my girl’ only to immediately get dunked on
pran making pat think he was gonna do something sexy and then just pulling a fuckin judo move on him
pran teasing pat by joking that wai had also snuck into his room before
‘good luck, buddy’ happy edition
the dumb drinking game and pat’s overblown reaction to the shots
pran getting the lyrics wrong when he and pat were singing together in his room and the two of them laughing like total goobers
the way bad buddy went it’s entire run without homophobia ever being an issue or source of drama, that’s super refreshing to see
the recontextualization of the red shirt scene in episode 11 not as a breakup but as a vow to always stay by each other’s sides, even when it feels like the whole world is trying to push them apart
pran being just as much of a horndog as pat is lmaooo
the call back to their early dynamic and calling each other ‘the guy with the fierce eyes’ / ‘the guy with the dimples’
pat telling pa to drink her water every time she says she wants to try liquor
pat crying at the end op ep 11 not being bc they’re breaking up but bc he’s a dramatic little shit and is upset he cant flirt with pran in public or gush abt him to his friends anymore, which, like, definitely is sad in it’s own right but mans was acting like he’d just had his heart ripped out
ive said it before but it bares saying again: the way pat and pran also feel like best friends who genuinely have a solid foundation to their relationship as well as loving boyfriends
the way there wasnt a proposal but pran did say that he wanted pat to be the one to sneak into his room for the rest of his life
the zoom out on pran’s door handle thingy showing the smiley face at the end of the final scene ):)
#bad buddy#bad buddy series#bad buddy spoilers#bad buddy episode 12#patpran#my only 2 complaint is that we never got the parents apologizing to their kids for treating them like shit#and that the fUCKING WATCH never got mentioned#other than that i am very content w/ this ending#og post //
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bc my class was doing a halloween themed kahoot and im bouncing up n down bc of it here r some hcs and thoughts basically bc u already KNOW i love halloween and the outsiders so combining them???my imaginary safe place<333
•tim dressing up as candyman just bc curly and angela teased him into it>>>>
•pony watched the blair witch project w curly at some point, and curly the ASSHOLE kept leaving those lil sticks toed by string everywhere in the neighborhood
•for his ghostface costume, curly had to cut this old telephone from the cord
•curly playing the toccata and fugue in D minor in the local music store >>>>>>
•curly loves terrorizing angela and pony by leaving pictures of nosferatu in dark ass places
•they fucking SHRIEK and either darry or tim comes running in and next thing u know curlys getting chewed out
•OHOHOH OK so the curtis bros would have kind if matching halloween outfits, like they all have a costume under the same theme, like darry would b frankensteins monster, sodas a zombie, and ponys a ghost, that typa thing
•darry heard pony liked michael myers so for one halloween he dressed as michael myers
•same thing for soda and jason voorhees, when they were a bit younger
•oh for the curtis halloween costume thing, the shepards do something like it sometimes too, like curly and tim r demons and angela is like half angel half demon
•the shepard gang puts the trick in trick or treat while the curtis gang puts the treat part
•the curtis’ carving pumpkins together is just so cute im sorry
•theres always this big party at the shepards house for halloween
•curly and angelas been counting down on a calendar the days until halloween goddamn it its their time to shine
•darrys the one handing out the candy to trick or treaters, pony IS a trick or treater and sodas out partying
•two bit has a bunch of drinking games he plays
•in the late hours of halloween the gang (mostly pony) binge watches iconic scary movies
•one halloween curly dressed as jack skellington (makeup thanks too angela) and pony looked a lot like sally (like it wasnt her, he was trying to b like frankensteins monster, but he just resembled her more) and everyone kept asking them if they were matching costumes but nope💀
•the shepards parents see halloween as a devil worshipping celebration (a lot of Caribbean ppl see it as that, dont look at me) and so curly, angela, and tim have to hide everything halloween related or else their gonna b this whole thing
•honestly dallys that type of nigga to get in a fight hours before halloween then when he rolls up to the curtis door and teo bit opens the door and ask where his costume is (bc two bit loves halloween) dally gies, bruises n blood all over him, dirty as hell “this is my costume
•okok but if it wasnt for soda and pony liking halloween, darry would just wear a plain black tee shirt that says “this is my costume”
•angela dressed as tiffany valentine from chucky>>>>
MKAY thats all for now but i have a bunch later, and purly art and hcs shall resume in a minute🤺
#ponyboy curtis#curly shepard#purly#tim shepard#angela shepard#darry curtis#sodapop curtis#two bit mathews#dallas winston#the outsiders hcs#the outsiders headcanons#happy halloween
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what are you doing, step bro? (sakusa x f. reader)
summary: To your parents, Sakusa was the greatest son. To you, he was the best big brother you could’ve ever asked for, but you could only find that out with a little force.
a/n: i literally just started college so i won't have much time to write but i have some stories in my drafts that'll be posted in awhile lol. should i open requests for haikyuu drabbles since they're short but still entertaining?? idek i feel like no one is reading this rn LOL but if anyone is reading this, lmk ;)
(edit: I HAD TO REPOST THIS CS IT WASNT SHOWING UP IN TAGS so sorry if you already liked this post)
warnings: 18+, incest, mentions of drugging, mentions of somnophilia, mentions of parental neglect, noncon/dubcon/rape, sakusa is a dirty pervert i just don’t know how else to tag this, degradation, slight manipulation
"(Y/N), this is your new big brother, Kiyoomi," your mother said, holding tightly onto your small shoulders as you stood in front of her.
"You can refer to him as your nii-san from now on." Locking eyes with you was an older boy with long black wavy hair, two moles on the right side of his forehead, and a white face mask on the lower half of his face which blocked his nose and mouth. How odd, you thought. You could tell he was disinterested with how his eyes were blank as he stared at you.
That was the first time meeting your step brother, Sakusa Kiyoomi.
Being four years younger than Sakusa, you two never really got along. Of course you had to respect each other, but there was nothing to really talk about other than when his volleyball games were or unfulfilling small talks. Sometimes he would make snide remarks, asking if you even showered when your hair was only slightly messy or if a smart word ever came out of your mouth when you stumbled over your words. Sometimes he was just mean to you in general to the point where you would cry. You always tried to ignore it, though. That was when you were younger. You couldn’t help that you weren’t that smart and he was your nii-san after all. Your parents would brush it off.
You celebrated his victories together, only because you had to. I mean, you were the younger sister of one of the nation's top three aces in high school volleyball. There was no way your parents wouldn't celebrate. He was their pride and joy.
Smart, athletic, incredibly attractive — everything you felt like you could never live up to.
Your own biological mom so obviously and painfully liked him more than you.
Before you even entered high school, Sakusa was old enough to move out and go to college where he continued to play volleyball. When he visited during the holidays, you still wouldn't have decent conversations with him. He would still insult you. It even made you cringe when you had to call him nii-san. Why address him as your older brother when he didn't even act like it?
But you dealt with it because you had to.
Fresh out of Itachiyama Academy, you're focused on studying for entrance exams for colleges in your area rather than what would happen if you ever had to see Sakusa again. But, you were expecting to see him very soon.
Gentle knocks are heard from outside your door and before you can respond, your mom is already opening it.
"(Y/N), Omi is coming today and he's gonna be here for a week. I have to go to the grocery store to buy food and I'm gonna run other errands so it's gonna take awhile," she says, leaning her head into your room. You respond multiple times with "okay" so she can leave your room sooner.
Textbooks and notebooks are strewn across your bed with you on your stomach, trying to cram as much information in your head as possible.
"That means I might not be here in time for when he comes, so you have to open the door and greet him," she adds.
"What about dad?" you ask with a grimace. The most you would do is say hello and scurry back into your room.
She rolls her eyes at you. "He's working late again. You know that, (Y/N)." With a sigh, you agree and she finally leaves your room after bidding you a "goodbye."
You can't remember the last time you saw Sakusa, but it was probably almost half a year ago. Ever since he left for college, your parents were even more distant towards you. They probably felt like they didn't need to worry about you because you weren't doing anything important.
When Sakusa came over, he barely acknowledged you and you were okay with that because it meant he wouldn't be bothering you.
But that didn't mean his blank stare wouldn't catch your attention whenever you came out of your room to eat or use the restroom. The atmosphere felt...very odd around him. You couldn't necessarily come up with a reason why.
Suddenly, you hear knocking on the front door. It had to be at least an hour or two since your mom left and the thought of who was waiting at the door made your stomach churn.
"Nii-san is here," you mutter to yourself as you got up to open the door. Right as you open the door, Sakusa was staring down at you with the same blankness in his eyes from before with his usual face mask. His hair was shorter than you remember.
Mindlessly, his eyes seem to scan your body before returning to your face, making you feel self-conscious. You were only wearing black spandex shorts and a loose tank top. Subconsciously, you rub your arm and step back to make space.
"(Y/N)," Sakusa acknowledges you in a deadpan voice. It's no surprise to you.
"Hi, onii-san. How are you?" You try so hard to be polite, but Sakusa seemed to have a naturally dominant energy that overwhelmed your senses, even if he also seemed to have the personality of a jar of mayonnaise. You step aside so he can come in. He wore gray sweatpants and a black windbreaker that was zipped up all the way. As soon as he makes it inside, he removes his face mask, stuffs it in his pocket, and starts unzipping his jacket.
"I'm good," he hums, "Where's mom?" He places the backpack he was carrying on the couch and takes a seat as you close the door.
"She's out doing errands and dad is working. Do you want some tea?"
"Yes, please. Make sure you wash your hands before you do. Thank you," he said. You walk into the kitchen, muttering "germaphobe" under your breath at his extra request. Unbeknownst to you, he watched you from his place on the couch as you walked around the kitchen, pulling the tea kettle out of one of the bottom cabinets and looking for cups. His gaze followed the outline of your ass in those tiny shorts that hugged your bottom tightly.
"What college are you planning on going to, (Y/N)?"
"I'm not sure yet, but I'm applying to the college you're going to and three others," you replied from your spot near the counter.
Sakusa actually perks up at your answer. "Oh, cool. You'll love it there if you get in. Only if, though. You're not the brightest."
You couldn't help but let your face fall in a frown at his seemingly small comment. Quickly, you compose yourself and brush off his remark. You got the water boiling in the tea kettle and reached high for the teacups that were sitting on the top cabinets. Your stepdad definitely put them up there.
A presence looms close behind you, which makes your whole body automatically freeze and tense up. A veiny, bulky arm reaches up easily to grab the teacups while another one snakes around you to pull your tank top down as it was exposing your stomach. You're not sure if you're imagining it, but you definitely feel something stiff brushing up against your back.
"You need to be careful. Don't wanna hurt yourself, do you?" Sakusa commented, leaning forward so his mouth was right next to your ear. A blush found its way onto your cheeks from feeling him so close to you.
He usually hated being so close to people. What was so different today?
"R-right," you stuttered, "Thank you, nii-san."
Confrontation wasn't a strong trait of yours.
You guess that moment was when it started getting really weird between you two. You still had small talks from whenever he would actually see you come out of your room, but you wanted to avoid him as much as you could. However, that was hard when Sakusa insisted that you drank tea together every night and, of course, your parents insisted, too.
Your nii-san wants to spend more time with you, they would say excitedly. Better late than never!
Maybe if he was showing the slightest bit of interest in you, your parents would finally care about you. So, with much hesitation, you started drinking tea with your step brother every night. Sakusa even made the tea himself so his poor little sister wouldn't tire herself out with carrying that heavy teapot.
You're still not sure if you're imagining things, but the tea tasted different from how you made it. And you swear that the tea didn't make you so sleepy after drinking it until he started making it.
"Come here," Sakusa would say with a smirk, "Onii-san will take you to bed."
You would pass out before you even made it to bed, but every morning you woke up with sticky thighs, only blaming it on sweating while you were sleeping.
Until one day, you didn't drink all the tea that he made you. You still fell asleep, though. Your brain was hazy enough to make you lose consciousness as he helped you up from your seat in the kitchen.
Sakusa laid next to you on your bed. You were placed on your side so he could slide under the sheets right behind you to press his hardened length against your ass. This was his favorite part of the night. He spent a few minutes playing with your cunt to make it slick enough for him to let his cock break through your walls.
You barely stirred awake. Didn't even move an inch as he caressed every part of your body, from your soft nipples to the sensitive nub between your thighs.
He pushed the elastic of his sweatpants down to his thighs quickly. His cock hit your ass before settling between your folds. A satisfied moan leaves his lips when he feels your wetness coating the top part of his shaft as he rubbed it against you. He hooked his arm around one of your legs so that you were spread open enough for him to fuck you and rub your clit at the same time with his other hand.
He wanted that sweet nectar completely coating his dick. He remembers the way you tasted and how you came on his tongue the night before, despite being blacked out from the little pills he would dissolve in your drinks. You tasted so clean and smelled so fresh. It was impossible for your nii-san to control himself around you.
And when did your ass look so good? God...Sakusa couldn't believe he never noticed how cute and well-shaped you were. You weren't that little girl he met when you were both kids. You were pushing adulthood now. Still pathetic looking, still too shy, still small around him, but fuck, he definitely would have pushed you over the counter the first day he came over and fucked you until you were crying and gagging.
He continued rubbing circles onto your clit and letting his cock soak up your juices. Gently, he positions the tip at your entrances and pushes in slowly.
"There you go," he whispers in your ear, "I know it's a little big. Don't worry."
He manages to fill you up all the way, making him groan. Your walls were tight around him. He thrusts in and out of you carefully, salvaging the feeling of your slick interior.
But you didn't drink all the tea, which means that you could wake up earlier than he expected.
Sakusa didn't expect you to wake up now.
You stirred slightly as you regained consciousness. Although your eyelids were heavy, you tried to force them open only to be met with darkness.
"Mmm," you croaked, rubbing your eyes. The odd feeling of being filled up suddenly made you wake up more. "W-what's going on?"
"Fuck," Sakusa muttered from behind you. You felt a hard chest pressed against your back and...a hand on your pussy. No, something inside your pussy. And that voice was so familiar.
You quickly whip your head around when the realization dawns on you. What the fuck is happening? While your eyes adjust to the dark room, you see two familiar eyes staring straight back at you. He stopped grinding his hips against you for a moment as if time stopped.
"...Nii-san?" you hesitated. His breathing was heavy and he stayed silent.
"Nii-san, what are you doing?" you asked in a panicked voice. You quickly tried to get up from your position, only to be held down by Sakusa’s muscular arms. His hand wrapped itself over your lips to prevent you from screaming.
“Be a good girl and stay quiet, (Y/N),” he whispered. A muffled scream tries to escape your lips. He continued to fuck you slowly, leaving a burning feeling in your walls. The same sore feeling that you would sometimes wake up to within the past few days.
For a moment, you pry his fingers off of your mouth. "I don't understand...Why are you...?" You yelped in surprise, horror, and pleasure as he delivered a sharp thrust from behind you. The smack of his hips against your bare ass made you cringe and feel so disgusted with yourself. Nii-san is actually inside me.
"My poor little sister," he chucked darkly. He suddenly wraps his arm around your knee tighter and forces your legs wide open, your knee almost touching your chest. Instead of putting his hand over your mouth to shut you up, he kneads your breast. His hands were so large.
"You think you can walk around the house looking like a little slut in those tiny shorts?" He stretches you open with his hard cock with slow, yet hard, thrusts. It left your mouth agape, but no sounds left your throat except for small squeaks that you couldn't hold back. "You stupid bitch. Just as dumb as I could remember. Fuck, you don't know how much I wanted to bend you over and fill you up with my cum like the stupid, desperate slut you are."
He was satisfied as you were barely fighting him. All you did was desperately search for something to hold onto and bite your lip because you were so scared. His words were painful. "Look at you. A waste of fucking space, only good as a fuck hole. Didn't even realize she was getting drugged and getting fucked every night because she's so fucking stupid."
Weak. That was all your brain was telling you, mocking you, as Sakusa didn't stop moving against you and insulting you. This wasn't the first time. It just so happened that this time you were able to wake up.
"I-I..." you stuttered, "I'll...I'll tell mom and dad." The sheets were gripped tightly between your fingers. "I'll tell them- mmmm...what nii-san has been doing to me..."
"If you tell mom and dad, they wouldn't even care," Sakusa said in a patronizing tone. The way his hand was caressing you made you wanna cry.
“They would!”
"Mom and dad don't even treat you like a daughter, (Y/N). When was the last time they told you they loved you?" Even if his question was rhetorical, your mind went completely blank. You can't recall a moment where they ever told you they loved you.
"B-but, this isn't right! You're not supposed to be doing this," you argued. It was a surprise that your mind wasn't completely clouded by how big his cock was and how his thrusts felt almost hateful.
"You think they would choose your side? You'd be ruining your own life. Maybe you'd ruin mine. And it'd be. All. Your. Fault." With each syllable, his movements became sharper. "You don't wanna betray your nii-san by saying something, do you?"
"You love your nii-san, right?"
You do. You love him so much, even if you tried to avoid him and he never said a single good thing to you in your whole damn life.
Because you have to love him.
You stopped gripping on the sheets to the point where your knuckles were turning ghostly white to brush away the tears rolling down your cheeks. Your body shook, from both crying because of Sakusa's painful words and how hard he was fucking you. The pleasure building up in your core was overwhelming you, making that intense feeling of having to pee forced out of you.
Hearing your sniffles and small cries, Sakusa pulls you even tighter against him, but doesn't stop his relentless thrusting. It turned him on even more. He pushes your hand to brush away your tears for you, like good big brothers should.
"It's okay, (Y/N). We both know mom and dad don't love you."
A loud cry erupted from your chest. Maybe if your parents cared about you, they'd be running to your room to save you the second you started crying. But, no. Sakusa was basking in the fact that you were hurting on the inside. After years of negligent silence, you were finally letting it all out.
"But nii-san loves you," he said with a smile.
Although his words seemed to stun your entire being, you manage to choke out a "What?" Like it was the first time someone ever told you that they love you.
His torturous thrusts almost distracted you. Fuck, why did it feel so good to have your step brother fucking you on your side like this?
"I love you." He sweetly grabs your face so you can turn your head to look at him. There was a pounding in your ears coming straight from your chest. A warm feeling spreads throughout your stomach.
"You...you love me, nii-san?"
"Of course I do." He was actually smiling at you, "If I didn't, would I be inside you right now?"
His face didn't seem so blank anymore. Sakusa never ever smiled at you. Hell, he never really smiled in general. Someone actually loved you. Holy shit. And he was even pounding away at your insides like you were a fuck doll.
Is that why he's so mean? Was he just trying to hide his feelings for you this whole time? You could die laughing right now. His cock felt so damn good rearranging your guts against your will yet you were struggling to accept it.
Your cheeks naturally puffed up in happiness as you smiled so brightly at him. The flip switched in your brain so easily. Without another word, Sakusa kissed you passionately, because he knew you would let him continue to ravage your body. Your hips began to buck from the pressure building up in your lower half and you starting pushing your hips towards him, welcoming his length inside you. It felt like you needed more of him. More of his love.
Love me.
"Nii-san," you gasped against his lips. His movements never faltered, which you figured was from his amazing athletic ability and stamina.
"Be a good little sister and cum on my cock," he coaxed. He could tell you were so close to cumming from how tightly your precious cunt was hugging his length and how you were squirming against him. You were both slick with sweat. As you started squirming more violently against him, Sakusa tightened his grip on you.
“I’m gonna cum,” you whined desperately, “Nii-san, I’m gonna cum!” You grabbed his arms and pushed your fingernails into his skin, making him hiss from the sudden pain. With a firm grip over your mouth, he muffles your screams. Satisfaction settled in your stomach as you exploded all over his cock. Your sweet juices trailed down your thighs onto the bedsheets.
As much as Sakusa wanted to, he couldn’t fill up your insides and see your hole dripping with his cum just yet. He quickly pulls out of you and lets his seed shoot onto the bare skin of your ass. The shock of your orgasm left your thighs trembling, your skin wet, and your eyes drooping.
“You’re the best little sister.”
You would’ve replied, but you could barely form any words as you lost consciousness again. When you woke up the next morning, you were fully dressed and cleaned up, with no stickiness between your thighs like how you used to wake up.
Sakusa actually cleaned you up this time. You felt your heart melt and butterflies fluttering in your stomach.
Everything seemed to go back to normal between you two, with the same small talks and not really seeing each other often, but he always had a knowing smirk on his face whenever he saw you.
Whenever his eyes would trail up your body to meet yours, you could feel a warmth in your stomach spread all throughout your body which forced you to look away quickly. Whenever he insulted you, you would feel your thighs press together. Whenever you caught yourself admiring his features when he replaced his face mask for a new one, you smiled softly to yourself.
When it was time for him to leave, you couldn’t help but let a few tears shed. He was all set to go, with his backpack on and his mask covering his face.
“Hey, don’t cry, (Y/N),” he cooed, wiping your tears away, “You know I won’t be gone forever.”
You sniffled, “I know. I just hate being here alone.” Well, not necessarily alone. You just hated being ignored and neglected just because you weren’t your brother.
“If you manage to get into my college, you can move in with me. How does that sound?” You instantly perk up and dry your tears with your shirt.
"Really?!” you asked with excitement. You imagine all the things you could do with your nii-san without your parents in the picture. You could go out together, hold hands, share kisses, just about anything. He could even fuck you whenever he wants.
These thoughts about your own step brother would've made you feel sick before.
But that was before you knew Sakusa loved you. Now, you couldn't help but ask your mom when the next time your nii-san would be coming to visit. While you were waiting for his next visit, you studied hard.
College would be so much fun with your nii-san with you!
Part 2
#yandere haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagines#yandere haikyuu x reader#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#kiyoomi sakusa x reader#haikyuu smut#sakusa x reader#yandere sakusa x reader#sakusa#tw yandere#tw: yandere#tw incest#tw: incest#tw: noncon#tw noncon#tw dubcon#tw: dubcon#tw rape#tw: rape#tw drugging#tw: drugging#tw somnophilia#tw: somnophilia#tw degradation#tw: degradation
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Azriel x Reader - Trying.
TW- DEPRESSION//sadness - Thank you anon for this request. I have struggled with Dysthymia for almost my whole life. It felt good to write this little piece of representation.
Nothing but a ghost. Like the two wraiths that waited to serve you at your command. The wraiths that had nothing to do. Granted, they had tried pushing food on you, or books or paints or whatever other form of entertainment or sustenance but you ignored them. Knowing that if you had put up the fight to say anything you may lose your control completely and break down. You could let the time pass, numbly without a care. It was better than having to deal with the reality of not being alive at all.
Rhysand had set you up in a beautiful room in the house of wind after the village attack. You could see the entire city below and the ocean beyond. It did nothing for you. If he was hoping for some kind of gratitude he didn't show it. He simply explained the house would provide if needed and that he would check in weekly.
You were surprised he wasnt asking for more - that he wasnt going to try to get any information from you about Hybern's forces on the continent. After months of war you had become numb to the idea of peace. It never seemed like an option anymore. Perhaps the two generals he had brought with him to save your village had gotten all the information they needed.
Weeks of sleeping later and you felt your eyes getting heavy again while looking out to the Sidra. The bright city below seemed buzzing with excitement about the upcoming summer solstice. You couldn't wait until you could go to bed. The tower of books on the table beside you casted a shadow over your feet, then your legs, up to your arms. Until finally, it was dark on the balcony, the stars above twinkling like the white caps on the ocean. Dread twisted in your gut, and you slowly got up, letting your body adjust to the change. Dark spots edged in around your vision.
You could feel the chasm open inside you. The pit of loneliness - the empty void of demons waiting to take you as soon as you dropped your guard. The head rush from getting up made you want to vomit. The acid in your stomach churned, burning up to your throat. Fasting for so long would make Rhysand force your hand to eat, you knew. But you couldn't bring yourself to even try. You felt weighted, like there was a tired blanket over your being and you couldn't get it off no matter how hard you tried. The demons pulled at you.
The pain was good though, a solid reminder of why you would not eat. Why you could not eat. You did not deserve such a pleasure. You doubted you could stomach anything more than crackers anyway after weeks of fasting. Rhysand was not subtle with his advances of trying to get you to try food when he visited. The smell of some of the treats he brought made you gag at times. Your stomach howled at you now though.
The knock on the door didnt surprise you. It was time for the high lord's weekly visit where you would tell him everything was fine and you didnt need anything. And he would try to get through your shields, and there would be a flash of disappointment on his face at the obsidian stone you would slam down on him. Then he would leave. And you could let the sting of that disappointment burn you alive until you were on the bed sobbing.
"Enter, your highness." You smiled to yourself slightly, knowing the title would bother him. The voice that came once the door opened made you whip around. Not Rhys. "Actually..." The spymaster. The general that had guarded your village while the other barreled through the enemy lines. "Rhys was busy. He sent me instead." He stood in the doorway, tentatively.
"Oh.." You felt your cheeks go red at the embarrassment of him seeing you like this. From the defender of your village to..what? A tired being that craved nothing more than to simply not exist anymore? "What is he doing?" You asked out of courtesy only. You were used to the high lord seeing your mess of a room, but Azriel was.. different for some reason. You walked over to the bed and kicked the sheets under the frame. Attempting to tidy up even slightly. The rest of the room was a mess of clothes and empty containers, drink cups. Nerves made your heart race.
"Nightmares?" He asked, stepping inside and closing the oak door behind him. He leaned on it, arms crossed over his chest. His simple tunic seemed to eat the light in the room, not reflecting a thing.
Your face burned. You felt your eyes sting. Clearing your throat you nodded, folding your arms over your middle. Your ribs seemed to jut out more now that he was watching you. You watched him, as his shadows snaked around his shoulders and curled around his ear. They searched the room. You sighed, going to the closet beside him -ignoring the mirror mounted there- and pulling out a folding chair. You placed it next to your own, facing out to the starry sky.
You sat in the familiar padded chair, leaning on the arm rest. The half cup of cold tea next to the book tower rattled slightly on its plate as he approached. A bubble of tranquil quiet seemed to encapsulate the area. A feeling you recognized as relief flowed through your bones. You felt the tension in your body fade slightly. You breathed a bit easier, like he was taking a weight off your chest.
He sat next to you for a long while before he spoke. "I used to hate night time." His voice was level. You tore your eyes away from the most interesting spot on the floor where you were thinking of nothing to look at him.
He kept his eyes out to the balcony, a cool wind gusting through. His wings were folded in tight behind him, the shadows coiling over everything in the room. The trees below sighed at the caress of the breeze. The night seemed to finally speak as he spoke. He brought his hands together in front of him, rubbing over the scarred texture there. "I would hear absolutely everything in that basement. I could tell when night fell, even without windows. I could hear the beasts hunting outside, or my bastard father getting drunk and-" His hands clenched, and you thought you heard his teeth grind together. "He was a cruel male. To everyone, even my half brothers."
A shudder rippled through you. You wondered what he had done to Azriel, if his father was cruel to his more beloved children. They had forced him into that basement, even when they knew first hand how Illyrians craved the sky. He knew of total darkness and silence - of pain that seemed to stretch on without end. He knew loneliness, he was locked up with it for the first part of his life. His shadows circled around your ankles like a cat, like they recognized you. Your voice was little more than a whisper as you spoke. "I dont even know whats wrong with me." You were relieved your tears didnt spill over. They pricked your eyes but you blinked them away.
He was quiet, taking in the information. "I didnt either until I found out what a shadow singer is." He paused, glancing at you as you tucked your legs up under yourself. "It dosent mean anything is wrong, it just means you need help sometimes. To figure out exactly what you need." He stood from the chair and flexed his wings, the shadows collecting around him like a puddle.
He held a hand out to you, patient even while you considered. Getting out of the chair seemed like so much work with such a tired body. Tired soul, tired spirit. Anything beyond existence seemed like a complete burden. But his hand there, waiting, unwavering. Challenging. it made you sigh and finally, stiffly get out of the chair that housed you. The chair that had sucked you in, prisoned you for months.
His smile was stunning. His dark eyes seemed to light up. He led you on to the balcony and leaned over the railing. The pines far below rustled with the breeze. You swore you could hear the Sidra as well, bubbling with the current over the rocks. "How did you get out?" You asked, your eyes locking into his. He looked at you without sorrow, no fear or judgement lurked there. Just that half smile that had stayed since you stood from that chair.
"I was.. released by my father, but I still had to battle the darkness that I had learned. It wasn't until I met Rhysand and his mother that I began to... cope." He contemplated for a moment, his wings moving slightly with the wind that came through. "I'm familiar with what you're feeling. I ask that you try. I can come back again if you'd like." He left it as an open ended question, not as a demand or promise.
"Just try? You're not gonna make a checklist for me?" You mocked, he just shook his head. "I think I would like that." You answered. At least he wouldnt pester you as much as the high lord did. At least he could bring this feeling of relief to your bones. He nodded, and the shadows seemed to spike, receding from the room and joining him, wrapping around his body and melding him with the night. "I'll be back tomorrow, then." He said simply, raising himself on to the balcony railing with ease.
You nodded, wringing your hands with nerves as you watched him flare his wings, preparing to fly. "Dont let the bed eat you, Rhys wouldn't be happy if I had to break more of his furniture." He said over his shoulder with a wink. You felt a fleeting smile come to your lips as he jumped, wings catching him as he glided on the wind. You made a note to yourself to ask what other furniture he had ruined.
He disappeared quickly, the shadows and the comfy bubble of silence gone. When you closed the door to the balcony and turned back to your chair, there was a plate of crackers and fruit waiting there. Your stomach rolled at the thought. Instead, you went to the closet, putting his chair away. You made a mental note to get a different seating option for him, to accommodate the wings.
Knowing he was coming back, you saved yourself the future embarrassment and began picking up your clothes, putting them into the corner bin where they disappeared. You didnt pause long enough to check to see if the clothes were reappearing clean in the closet, you just kept cleaning. Trusting the house to understand you were in fact, trying. You dared not pause, knowing if you stopped there wouldn't be a beginning again.
You went as far as requesting a mop and bucket from the Wraiths. They were wide eyes with shock at your room, at your abruptness. But they said nothing about it, just bringing you the items you requested and then some. Naula snuck in a plate of meat and cheese, leaving it next to the crackers on the end table now that there was more room with the book pile cleaned up.
You requested the extra chair. They promised it would be in the room by morning. You made your bed, and once you were satisfied with the shining floors you stood back to admire your work. It looked like a different space, clutter gone and the books organized again. You had given the cups the Cerridwen before they left, thanking them both.
You went to your chair, hesitant to sit. The wear marks on the arm rests and the seat were apparent. Instead, picked up the plate of fruit and crackers and took it to the bench at the end of the bed, picking at the more neutral fruit as you went.
A spark of something bloomed in your chest at the thought of Azriel coming back. Of what his reaction would be at the clean look of your room. You dared to hope that he would notice at all. Something told you though that he would consider this trying. He made it sound so easy.
The bed welcomed you, clean sheets caressing your legs as you fell into the most peaceful sleep you had in a long while.
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confessions; but not remembering it
ft. kita shinsuke, sakusa kiyoomi x sick fem!reader
genre: fluff
masterlist
a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and then i rushed bc i was getting tired 🙃 also. sakusa's is a little ooc. sorry ab that
-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆
» the clean yet musty smell of rain filled the gym as the boys practiced. it was a surprisingly humid and rainy spring day today here in the country side of hyogo
» "achoo" you had been sneezing and coughing all day. you also had a terrible headache but took some medicine to see if it would help. the spring allergies really getting to you
» you didnt reay have the time to be worrying about yourself. As a 2nd year manager of the inarizaki team, (recommend by suna) and the boys working so hard practicing for nationals there was no way you'd let this little cold get in the way. you had to work just as hard as everyone else!
» "hold on, im about to hang up your jerseys to dry"
» "i got you guys some fresh towels!"
» "i can run and grab that coach. im headed that way anyways"
» the coach called for a short break to rest up for a bit. everyone was sore and exhausted from practicing every day. "here. i filled your water bottles up!" handing them to all the boys. "y/n you're all wet" akagi sounded concerned.
» "hm? oh its alright. I'll dry off in a minute. i took the shortcut to the drinking fountain to refill your waterbottles instead of taking the long way" you nonchalantly said. "so you ran through the rain like an idiot?" suna threw a clean towel over your damp hair and ruffled it. "suna!! stop!! you're gonna ruin my hair"
» "like i said. its alright" you reassured the boys.
» kita, on the other hand had noticed your fatigue. although he wasnt as perceptive on peoples feeling and thoughts as well as others, he could easily pick up signs like yours. he admired you dearly for how hard you always work for the team. how you willingly did anything to make them smile. how you always put others first before yours. needless to say, he had a bit of a crush on you.
» "l/n san. i think you should take a break too. there's no need for you to be running around for us while we're resting" kita assured you. "i still have a few things left on my list to do.. but afterwards I'll take a break!" kita let out a sigh. you were stubborn sometimes and kita knew you were the kind of person to not stop until you're finished.
» "I'll be right back. i gotta grab the laundry"
» making an excuse to leave, your heart was beating fast. you knew kita's words were the kind he'd say to anyone, but it made your heart feel fuzzy when he'd look out for you.
» the stone cold captain who you thought he was, actually was so kind. he was just a little awkward like you, and a little blunt with what he said sometimes. but you learned the great qualities he carries and how much he actually cares about others well being. he was a hard worker and you couldnt help but absentmindedly fall for the captain.
» running up the stairs to the second floor of the gym, you felt a shift in your step. head becoming dizzier than it was just 5 minutes ago. legs trembling, you started falling before feeling a presence behind.
» kita's arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you in efforts to not letting you fall over. "i told you to rest l/n san" kita said sternly. "you wont benefit anyone if you keep overworking like this."
» you knew kita was right, but you really didnt want to rest knowing you'll be letting the team down by not working hard.
» "i promise I'll rest as soon as im done with this one thing" pleading with kita. he let out a sigh, knowing you really wouldnt until you did finish so he allowed you to do so.
» finishing grabbing all of the dry jerseys and bringing them downstairs to pass out to everyone, you didnt really notice atsumu and osamu spiking volleyballs at each other until aran yelled
» "y/n! watch out!" honestly, you were too tired to move out of the way so you figured, it do be like that sometimes, and allowed the ball to hit you.
» or... so you had planned the ball to hit you.
» kita stood in front, blocking the impact of the spike that you had prepared yourself for. there was agitation in kita's eyes. more than you usually noticed when then twins were miss behaving. concern washing over, he looked you straight in the eyes
» "... is there something wrong kita san?" lifting up his hand to your forehead, he let out a sigh. "why didnt you tell me earlier you had a fever", then walking over to the coach meanwhile atsumu and osamu come over to apologise for being reckless.
» "get your stuff. we're going home" kita said bluntly.
» "huh? but practice is-"
» "please l/n san. for me"
» kita would only take yes for an answer this time. no if's ands or buts. so here you were, walking home with kita. only the sound of raindrops hitting your shared umbrella being heard.
» muscles starting to ache a little more and your legs becoming more tired than they were when you left the gym, you began to walk a little slower every step
» "get on my back l/n" "its ok kita san, i can walk. its already enough that you're walking me home" "i didnt ask if you wanted to. im telling you to"
» you couldnt tell if it was the fever that made your face warmer or if it was kita's words. nonetheless, you got on kita's back. he was a lot stronger than he looked and you couldnt help but stifen at being so close to your own crush like this.
» "relax. I'll make sure you get home." he reassured. you leaned into his back, warmth seeping in, your eyes began to feel heavy.
» "kita san" "yes?" "thank you for always watching out for me"
» a comfortable silence was met as the sound of rain filled your ears.
» "kita san" "hm?" "did you know..." your voice softened "i like you a lot kita san"
» did he hear you correctly? if he wasnt paying attention he wouldve missed what you had said, being drowed out through the pitter patter of water. now his heart thumping louder than ever before.
» "l/n san-" he was about to go on but was met with the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the soft snores of you on his back, knocked out from exertion. kita let out a light chuckle, finally relieved you were resting.
» you had missed the next day of school, but when you came back the whole volleyball team bombarded you with love.
» "WE'RE A FAILURE TO NOT NOTICE YOU FEELING SICK" atsumu cried. "how could we let our one and only precious manager get ill for taking care of us" akagi, clearly dissapointed in himself. "please let us know when we can take care of you too y/n" aran said.
» "its no big deal. really!" waving your hands in defense. "it was just a small cold. but i do have a question though"
» all the boys gathered around to hear what you had to say
» "how did i get home?? i really dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu"
» it shocked the guys honestly. you genuinely didnt remember a single thing due to your fever. "wait? you don't remember kita taking you home?" suna replied, your face becoming red. "k-kita san took me home-?" "yah. he left in the middle of practice to do so" osamu added.
» immediately, you got up to find the captain that apparently took you home the other day. he was in the storage closet cleaning and grabbing the equipment for todays practice.
» "kita san" "oh. l/n. glad you're feeling better" his smile brightened the musty closet. "about that, im sorry for troubling you and having you take me home the other day. i honestly dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu. my mind was really fuzzy that day, but im truly thankful for you going out of your way for me. it really means a lot"
» kita was dumbfounded. you really dont remember? "no need to apologize l/n. it was my responsibility as a captain. and afterall, what good would i be if i couldnt even take care of the person who means the most to me"
» your heart raced. 'person who means the most to me' ? cheeks blushing a rosy pink, you were internally thanking the musty store room from being dim.
» with arms full of equipment, kita walked by you and stopped.
» "by the way l/n san. did you know?"
» ears perking up at the vague yet familiar line
» "i like you a lot too l/n san"
» now we all know sakusa HATES germs and for the past week and a half, he's been telling you to keep up with washing your hands, wearing a mask at all times even when you eat omi it doesnt work like that. pls especially since you are prone to getting sick easily no matter how hygenic you are. your immune system just hated you. PERIODT
» you remembered sakusa scolding you for running out of hand sanitizer and then the next day you were out of commission. bed ridden with laryngitis, cough, slight fever, the whole works. it was like your body was making fun of you or something
» you texted komori, asking him to take notes in class for you and relay homework information while you were at home resting up. but there was one request you had and made komori PROMISE.
» DO NOT TELL SAKUSA YOU GOT SICK
» "he's probably gonna notice your absence y/n. he'll find out about it either way"
» "well if you dont tell him then he wont know. its not like he even cares about where i am like that"
» "thats what you might think. but i know he's gonna say something i can garuntee it"
» the next day at school, sakusa did notice your presence missing. it was quieter not having a 3rd person in the group of friends. not having you around to talk to him when komori was gone.
» pulling out his phone to text you, he asked where you were that day.
» "on a family trip :D !!! forgot to tell you, but I'll tell you all about it when i come back!" you wrote, attaching an old selfie of a different trip you went on to make it more believable.
» you had hoped this silly cold would get better in a day, but soon that day turned into 2 and then 3 and then 4... you pretty much missed the whole week of school at that point
» Friday rolled around and komori was on his phone all day. sakusa noticed his cousin fidget in his chair more than usual and it irked him to see him like that
» "what's with you today?" one eye raised, sakusa finally asked. "uhhh nothing really" komori wasnt very good at keeping secrets lets just start off with that, but he was trying his best.
» "well clearly somethings wrong. you're fidgeting." "well haven't you noticed somethings been different all week?" komori hinted
» sakusa sat there in thought. nothing's been different? he ate the same breakfast he usually does every morning. all his studies have been well. there were no tests this week so there was no reason to be anxious like komori was and even if there was, he would've done well anyways.
» "just tell me what it is." sakusa was starting to get annoyed. "y/n..." komori started. "y/n?" "do you know where she's been this week?"
» did you not tell komori about your family trip? you usually told komori everything, but then again you didn't tell him either until he asked you about it.
» "she said shes on a trip?" he nonchalantly said. komori's eyes started watering. "A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL THATS WHAT IT IS" he blurted out. komori didnt mean to let it slip , he was just so worried about your well being.
» "hospital?? what are you talking about. did she get injured on her trip?" "no omi. shes been sick all week and her mom just texted me saying she went to the hospital today because shes had a fever for 3 days straight. there is no family trip"
» sakusa's heart shattered. you were sick and didnt even tell him?
» before both he and komori knew it, his legs were running faster to get to the hospital than he had ever imagined he could ever run.
» and there you were. fast asleep in a bed with an IV drip. your face flushed, forehead sweaty and shallow breaths escaping your chapped lips. you were a hot mess but sakusa didnt care. stepping to your bedside to greet your mother she explained to him that she had to go to work and asked if he could watch over you until she gets back.
» sakusa said yes without even hearing the whole thing. his heart and mind saying yes to whatever it took to get you to feel better.
» gosh how he hated hospitals, but what he hated even more was the fact that you were in the hospital and he didnt even know.
» the doctor came in for their evening round and ensured sakusa that you were indeed getting better! your fever had broken not too long ago and your body was working extra hard to heal itself up!
» "is there anything i can do to help?" sakusa asked. he felt helpless in this situation just watching your face distort in uncomfort every now and then, and coughing your lungs out.
» patting sakusa's shoulder, the doctor told him that just being here for you is enough. "you gotta be a strong boyfriend for her alright son? she'll be able to go home tomorrow first thing in the morning if her fever doesnt come back"
» sakusa slumped in his chair at your bedside, the doctors words ringing through his head. 'boyfriend huh?' he thought to himself. "if i was her boyfriend..." he whispered to himself, "i would be a failure for not even knowing my girl was sick..."
» to kiyoomi, you were beautiful. even now in this sad state you were in. deep down he locked these growing feelings he had for you inside of him because he always felt like you were a better match with someone else and after this stunt you pulled of lying to him about going on a family trip, it only made him feel worse.
» it was now night time and you finally began to stir in your sleep, the fever finally gone. sakusa reached out to move some hair that was stuck to your face, fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. your eyes slowly opened and met with his dark orbs.
» "y/n?" "saku- wait this is just a dream. omi wouldn't be here. he hates hospitals" you let out a forced laugh and then a sigh through your sore throat.
» you reached out to sakusa's hands that were resting on the side of your bed. "omi would never let me hold his hand because he'd say im passing germs to him so hopefully dream omi wont be the same" you were aimlessly talking to yourself, not even realizing that this really wasnt a dream.
» he squeezed your hand in return. hoping that you wouldnt let go any time soon. a funny smile appeared on your face just at the thought of him. "even if you're stupid for not realizing how much i like you... i cant wait to see you again omi" you whispered before falling asleep again.
» sakusa didnt know what to do. he sat there frozen in his chair. it was his first time hearing you call him omi. heck. you literally just confessed to the boy. his brain was running wild. groaning in distress he let go of your hand to step out for a breath of fresh air now that you were back asleep.
» it was 5am and your mother came back to the hospital and thanked sakusa for staying by your side. He left in a hurry to make sure you didnt see him there.
» Monday rolled around and sakusa was waiting outside of the school gates for you. he had planned on asking you about your "trip"
» "good morning sakusa!!" your bright and cheery voice rang through his ears. honestly he was trembling inside. the memory of you confessing to him still fresh in his mind.
» "how was your trip?" you stopped dead in your tracks. "haha... it was good !! sorry i forgot to get you a souvenir" you were trying to play it cool but sakusa could tell you were forcing yourself. "i wouldnt want a souvenir from where you came from so its fine" sakusa's words threw you off. "i - im not sure im understanding what you're saying sakusa?"
» you felt a tug on your hand. "dont you mean omi?" his voice husky as he whispered into your ear. cheeks flushed, your brain felt like it short circuted. you've always tried your hardest to not let it slip that you want to call him omi since he hated when people called him that.
» sakusa smirked at your cute reaction he got out of you. letting go of your hand he began to walk into the school leaving you at the gate dumbfounded. "and by the way. you're just as stupid for not realizing how long ive liked you too"
-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆
thank you for your order! enjoy~!
#haikyuu x reader#hq fluff#haikyuu fluff#yinny!drabbles#sakusa kiyoomi#sakusa fluff#kita shinsuke#kita x reader#kita fluff
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really, really random but do you think you could write a shot of half blood prince tonks on christmas alone and she puts on the record player and dances to christmas music? (i know this is very specific ahaha)
I lovveeed this request so much! Thank you for sending it. I did write the whole thing and then re read the prompt and see if kinda strayed away from the prompt slightly, you asked for record player, so she does actually use a cassette player but I still hope you enjoy it!
As always request are open! Drop me an ask!
Check my Masterlist too!
Pairing: Remus lupin x Nymphadora Tonks ( only mentions of Remus. He does not appear )
Warnings: none. Just a very mopey Nymphadora
Tonks had never been one to take love all that seriously. In fact she’d thrown the word around almost carelessly, never really taking to its true weight and meaning. Falling in love with more people that she could count now. A ravenclaw girl in third year, a slytherin one in fourth, two different hufflepuff boys in Fifth and countless other short lived romances since. But when she looked back now she realised they weren’t really love at all. Because they hadn’t felt like she did now. When she thought of him. Remus.
It caused an ache in her chest, so deep it physically pained her. She knew that nothing else could hurt her as badly as this, only love. She hadn’t even meant to fall for him, she hadn’t planned to. He was wildly interesting and not to bad on the eye either, but she hadn’t being trying. It had just… happened. Friendly conversation became friendly touches. Friendly touches became late nights snuggled in the library by the fire. Which had become hand holding. Which had become kisses. And now… it had become heartbreak.
The argument they had had before he’d announced his departure had been a brutal one. She guessed it didn’t help that emotions were already running far too high with everything happening around them. She’d shouted. He’d shouted right back. He’d told her nothing she would say would ever change his mind and he was leaving. It was duty. His role in the war effort. To put his life as at risk as ever and plant himself in a werewolf camp for months on end. It’d ruin him, she knew it would. He’d told her about it from the first war, how much he hated it. How much it made him feel like an animal. Feral. Inhuman.
But she’d told him to go. Shouted at him and told him to get out of her sight, to go if that’s what he truly wanted. To never come back to her again.
She regretted that now. Of course she did. She wanted nothing more than to leave her parents house and turn up at Grimmauld place, drink tea and hot chocolate with him in the library, dance around to Sirius’ old records and talk about everything and nothing until the sun came up. But of course she couldn’t. Because he was gone.
To make everything truly worse, as another blinding hot blade to her chest, she couldn’t even turn to Sirius about it. Because he was gone too. And he really was never coming back. The loss of Sirius and her still healing injury from Bellatrix had knocked her down already, Remus leaving had just been the final kick. And it had all taken its toll.
She couldnt morph. Not a single fingernail would change the way she wanted. Thankfully for her she’d never really been one for tweaking her face dramatically , like she knew some with her powers did. But she felt lost without her bright hair, the tiny little tweaks to her nose and cheeks. She didn’t recognise herself anymore. She didn’t understand the face of the woman that looked back at her in the mirror, all limp dark hair and hollow cheeks. She wanted to blame him. Wanted to use it as some way to make her hate him. Forget him. So at least she couldn’t be relieved of at least one burden of pain, leave her with one less knife in her heart. But she couldn’t. No matter how hard she tried to.
“ You gonna come down love? Your mums made you some dinner. Even got some apple crumble for pud. Yeah? Try eat a bit for us? “ her dad appeared at her old bedrooms door, knocking slightly as he spoke. It had felt odd being back at her parents house again for Christmas, she’d hadn’t visited in longer than she wanted to admit. Work ask the order had been running her to exhaustion everyday. She’d hoped being back home would bring her some comfort. Being around her childhood things. But it hadn’t really been working so far.
Her mum kept silently crying to herself over Sirius, every now and then she’d look over at her and see tears streaming over her cheeks as she cleaned or cooked. Misery just seemed to follow her whether she went now.
“ Dora love? “ she turned around when he’d dad spoke again and forced a small smile onto her face.
“ yeah. Be down in a minute… save me a piece of crumble “ Ted gave her a sympathetic smile and quietly left her. One thing she loved about her dad was he knew when she didn’t want to talk, and left her alone when she needed it. Andromeda was one to fuss.
She took a deep breath and made her way out of the room and downstairs, knowing Andromeda would only send Ted back up if she didn’t surface within a few minutes. They were both sat at the table when she walked into the dining room, her father looking up with a cheerful smile.
“ here she is! C’mon petal before it gets cold “ Andromeda’s eyes were bloodshot as was the norm nowadays, she’d tried she her best to hide the fact she’d been crying. But there were still tracks in the makeup on her cheeks.
The entire house had been decorated for Christmas and she thought the fairy lights and the tinsel should be cheering her up. But she found it wasn’t. Even her dads cheesy Christmas jumpers weren’t making her crack her smile.
Dinner was painfully silent for the most part. Ted occasionally tried to get both women to talk about something but conversation constantly fell flat. She looked at her parents as he silently tried to coax Andromeda to talk, holding her hand under the table and looking at her with the same amount of pure love he always had done.
Tonks had always wanted a relationship like theres. And she thought she’d been getting there. Remus had looked at her like that. Gazing at her when he thought she wasnt paying attention to him. Sharing his mug of tea with her at order meetings, waiting up for her if she had a late shift at the ministry, making sure she had something to eat before she slept. Little things. Small ways he told her he felt the same as she did.
Until he’d thrown it all back in her face.
When Andromeda cleared their plates and went to fetch dessert, Ted too disappeared of a moment only to return with his hand behind his back and a grin.
“ look what I found today love. Remember this aye? “ he held his hand out with a proud look on his face. It was a cassette. One he’d made up for her himself when she was little. She’d always been fascinated with muggle things and she still had the cassette player buried up in her room somewhere “ your Christmas one! Fitting “ she took with the first genuine smile she’d mustered in a while.
“ thanks dad. It’s Brilliant honestly “ he sat back down again when crumble was served but his proud smile didn’t drop.
After dinner she made her way back up to her room with a muttered excuse of being tired and locked herself in. The cassette tucked into the pocket of her jeans. She rummaged around the various boxes of junk in her room until she found the player and pulled out the tape. She smiled slightly when she found the tape wonkily labeled ‘ Doras muggle Xmas songs ‘ , putting it into the player and waiting for it to play.
The first beats of ‘last Christmas’ started playing and she practically felt her hurt slipping away from her shoulders. She turned the volume up, the headphones now blasting the voice of George Michael into her ears and she forgot about her troubles for a while.
She danced around with the first full genuine smile she had in weeks on her face, every song that played transporting her back to some memory from her childhood. Even the slower ones had her smiling, waltzing with herself around her room. until the tape came to an end with silent night. She stopped dancing and the smile dropped as the almost hauntingly beautiful song played. She’d danced with Remus to the very song on that first Christmas of her being in the order.
She’d turned up at Grimmauld place on Boxing Day, on Sirius’ invitation that the three of them could have their own Christmas celebration but Sirius had still been black out drunk from the clearly heavy night before. So she’d spent the majority of the day with Remus, hiding away from the kids. Drinking, dancing and even singing when Sirius had joined them later to get drunk again.
Her moment of happiness had faded to pure nothingness and she pulled off the headphones, tossing the cassette player onto her bed. If she focussed hard enough she could hear Sirius laughing still, picture Remus’ face as he tried to look unimpressed by one of Sirius’ filthy jokes- and failing miserably. Or feel Remus’ arm around her shoulders, his lips on her temple. The purely joyful atmosphere where just the three of them could be happy, Remus not worrying about people thoughts on him showing affection to her because Sirius didn’t care.
She found her feet moving then at their own accord, out of her room and creeping past her parents bedroom, down the stairs and out the door. She jogged down the garden path and past the wards protecting the house, apparating the second she was out.
She turned up on the top step of number 12. She really shouldn’t be there. She knew she should just go back to her parents. It wasn’t safe. But her hands reacted on their own and she opened the door. It was quiet inside. The quietest she’d ever heard it. Now Sirius laughing- or snoring. No kids charging around and pestering Kreacher. No mad-eye stomping along the hall.
Her feet led her into the library and she felt tears brewing in her eyes. She wanted to see Sirius blacked out on the sofa, Remus sat writing up a report at the desk, a fire crackling away. But neither were there. And the fireplace only held charred wood. The ache in her chest made her breathless, the deep burning pain of missing a dead man and one that might as well be.
She’d never felt so alone. Never had such a overwhelming feeling of loneliness that it made she’d weak in the knees. She could picture Remus at the desk, the way his brow furrowed when he concentrated, or how his cheeks flushed when she’d sneak up behind him and wrap her arms around his neck. The countless nights they’d fallen asleep on the sofa, danced, kissed, laughed.
But now it was just an empty room. In an empty house. No laughter. No dancing. No Remus.
She wanted to be back in that library when it was full of life. When Sirius was alive. And Remus was by her side. But it was never to be again.
Sirius was dead. And Remus was gone. And she wasn’t sure he’d ever come back.
#messrmoonyy writes#remus lupin#nymphadora tonks#remadora#harry potter#remus x tonks#ronks#the marauders#lupin#tonks x lupin#tonks#remadora one shot#remus x nymphadora
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made beef kidney with mushrooms and onions in a mustard sauce largely using this recipe last week!
added some cayenne
used some fresh button mushrooms in addition to the dried porcini bc i didnt have that much
i ended up doubling the amount of the creme fraiche and mustard sauce
i used a spicy dijon but also ground up a mix of black and yellow whole mustard seeds roughly along with some colmans mustard powder to give it a bit more texture and flavor
i dont really drink much wine and didnt want to waste opening a whole bottle just for this so i used some cheapo cab sauv merlot blend that came in tiny not even full serving bottles in a pack. maybe not the most economic by volume but worth it for how i use wine. also tbh i ended up liking just drinking the rest of the bottle so thats good too lol expected it to be more shit from reviews but im no sommelier so all the better i can enjoy it w/o being discerning
took out all the fat from the kidney then let it sit in milk in the fridge for 2 days (was gonna do one but then couldnt cook that night) it was so funny it was pink when i took it out even tho i rinsed it well before then
then i did the blanching with vinegar water as described in this recipe but then i couldnt really do anythin with it for a while anyway so i then soaked it in water with vinegar in it for like an hour or so on the counter afterwards too like id seen in other recipes
was kinda nervous when i started cooking it bc i remembered a thing i read from some julia childs recipe where she said you should cook the kidney whole so that the liquids dont all come out and just steam it but i just didnt know how to compromise that with other recipes saying to take out all the fat bc kidney fat increases the piss flavor lol. so a Lot of liquid came out and it def steamed a bit but i wasnt able to really slow cook it either so im sure it couldve been more tender if i could possibly find a way to balance both those needs or did a more slow cooking recipe but honestly it was barely an issue it still was plenty good imo as someone whos never had kidney before. recipes were making me so worried when they all hated on beef kidney as compared to other types of kidney meats
on a similar note ppl said that beef kidneys were much stronger flavored than other kidneys maybe besides pig and a lot of similar recipes said they would avoid beef kidney so that got me a bit worried about flavor too. especially when i read in one recipe to not trust recipes that tell you to cook in the liquids of the kidney instead of taking out the kidney and wiping out the pan or just cooking everything beyond the meat separately until the end. but since a lot of the liquids disolved anyway and i tasted it and honestly it was fine i just trusted this recipe and i dont think the flavor was too strong or anything even though i didnt cook it separately
as for the potatoes i used this recipe
and i kinda wish i had gone with my gut and avoided putting in the onions and garlic right at the beginning
the potatoes were very nicely crispy but the onions and garlic got absolutely burnt to a crisp (was not a problem with my oven temperature! i have a second thermometer to check that)
if i did this again i’d put the onions like idk maybe halfway through and the garlic only right at the end
but yeah!!! it turned out good! excited to finally have used up all the organ meat i got on sale literally a year to almost a year and a half ago that i froze and then forgot about bc i got so busy and didnt have the time to figure out something fun to do with all of it. also i really like the creme fraiche i wanna use the leftover of it on stuff this week
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Tonight belongs to you
Summery: it’s prom night and the group is going to have the night of there lives
Ships: Logicality, Prinxiety, demus/dukeceit
When they’re singing
Patton- blue
Remus-green
Duet- orange
Kaylee- black
Ms Greene- pink
All-purple
It’s prom night. Remus is at Patton’s helping him pick out a suit. “You better hurry up in there or your gonna me my drag alter ego....Eugene lee yang from the try guys.” Patton came out wearing a light blue tux.
“What do you think?”
“Well it’s better than the pink. But you got fuzz on your shoulders. You’ve got great shoulders”
“This isn’t working” Remus clean off the fuzz
“Don’t panic...does this help?”
I don’t know?....What did you wear to your prom?” Remus got quiet “Well I was gonna wear a dark green dress with sparkles everywhere. But this isn’t about me this is about you. Your gonna have the night of your life.” Remus walked back to get a view of the tux.
“Hey what’s your date wearing?”
“I don’t know.” Remus’s face change to confusion. “He didn’t give you a little fashion show?”
“I’ve never been to his house. His mother doesn’t know about us.” Patton felt anxious
“How long have you been together?”
“A year an a half.”
“Oh my god....”
“But he’s coming out tonight big time that’s the plan.......I’m really scared”
“Why?”
“Well for so many reasons but mainly because.......half of the people their still hate me.” The room got quiet. Remus put out his hand for Patton and they sat on Patton’s bed.
“Look I never went to my prom.” Remus started to tear up. Patton gave him a hug and a single tear fell from his face. “Looks like your mystery boyfriend and I never had your courage. You made all of this happened and when you walked into that gym tonight, you know what their gonna see.....the bravest person in the world.”
Patton gave a small smile and a nervous giggle “This is scary does everyone go through this?”
“Are you kidding of course. Right now girls are spraying on their tans, whitening their teeth and shoving their fingers down their throats one last time and trying to look their best for the prom. But they are wasting their time. They might as well be wearing a garbage bag........with the word “whore” on it and you know why.........because.......they’re whores.”
Patton was shocked “WHAT?!”
Remus then regretted that last statement
“No my god they don’t have the glow you have right now”
“I trust you completely and that’s kinda scary”
I can tell your feeling wary but you can count on uncle reemy he turn this butchy duck into a swan
Your whole look could use a shake up you can borrow all my make up and the pair of SPANX I currently have on
I think I’ll past
Treat the whole world like your run way make it fierce but in a fun way try to flip your hair like Cher and drag queens do
And I don’t mean to be rude dear but you could use some attitude dear
Let’s show the school tonight belongs to you
One things universal, life no dress rehearsal, so why not makes some waves before it’s through
Go big or you’ve blown it, it’s time that you own it let’s make it clear that tonight belongs to you
Now whatever we choose we gotta make sure to sell it
How do I do that?
Allow Ms Allen to demonstrate
You might find this disconcerting but old Remus has done some flirting
Try to bat your eyes and smile each time you grin
I can guess your whole agenda
You be Elphie I’m Galinda
It’s makeover time so why not just give in
Cmon!!
One things universal
Life’s no dress rehearsal
So why not make some waves before it’s through
Go big or you’ve blown it
It’s time that I own it (yes sir!)
Let’s make it clear that tonight belongs to you
What?
Belongs to me
Kaylee and Shelby are at Kaylees house
“Oh god I can’t believe this is finally happening” Said Kaylee
“He almost ruined it for all of us” Said Shelby
“Well what goes around comes around. You look hot”
“You look so hot”
Well I hate to sound conceited but the boys get over heated when I strike a pose or or two like thus *they do poses here*
And you have to hand it to me I mean even I would do me
Let’s show the world tonight belongs to us
One things universal, life no dress rehearsal excuse me while I state the obvious
go big or you’ve blown it
It’s time that we own it lets make it clear that tonight belongs to us
Logan finished getting dress. He was in a black tux with a dark blue tie with his hair pulled back with gel.
“You look so handsome. You should always wear your hair like this.”
Logan took a deep breath. “Mom I want you to know what’s gonna happen tonight I-”
“Shh can we not spoil this moment. I’ve worked very hard on this night. I have a right to enjoy it too. Your gonna have a wonderful prom like a normal boy I made sure of that”
“What does that mean?”
I don’t like when strangers in my way or when somebody messes with the PTA
Or maybe that’s just me trust me
Fixes little problems is what I do now everyone is happy I promise you
And I would never ever miss a night like this Logan your my super Star now get your ass in the car
The Prom has begun. Every is dancing and having the night of their lives. Everyone has worked so hard for this night music blasting, streamers and confetti flying and everyone haveing the night of their lives.
One things universal life’s no dress rehearsal excuse me while I state the obvious
Go big or you’ve blown it
It’s time that we own it
And make it clear that tonight belongs to
Make it clear that tonight belongs to
Make it clear that tonight belongs
TO US!!!
Patton and the actors are at the gym door about to go inside we’re the rest of the kids are.
“You look so handsome” Said Roman
“Are you sure it’s not to boyish?”
“No it’s definitely boyish.” Said Janus as he held a little box.
“He means it’s not to boyish. My husband likes to mess with people time to time but that’s what I love about him.” Janus blushed at what Remus Said. “You did good Remus. I thought you had no fashion sense whatsoever but I was wrong.”
“Thanks Roman. Where’s your date?”
“We’re meeting inside the gym. He’s still a little shy about all this but he’ll be there.”
“Well this is were we leave you our work here is done.” Remus got the box from Janus and inside was a boutonniere. He pinned it on Patton’s tux and they started to walk away.
“Can you walk me in Remus? I’m a little nervous.”
Remus gave a small smile “of course.” The two of them squealed and walked in the gym
“We did good you guys. Now who’s wants a drink?” Roman, Janus, Thomas and Joan walked out.
The moment Remus and Patton walked in the gym.........they were in shocked. The gym was empty. Their was no one there except for Virgil on the phone and some balloons and streamers.
“What’s going on?”
“I’m just putting the pieces together give me one second.” Virgil went back on the the phone and Remus kept looking around the sad and empty gym.
“Where is everybody?”
“What’s going on here?” Once Remus said that Roman, Janus, Thomas and Joan came in.
“Something’s wrong. The entire parking lot is empty!” Roman looked around
“Jesus what’s the theme of the prom death row!” Said Joan
Patton’s voice started to shake “Mr Hawkins. Where are all the kids? I don’t understand?”
Logan and his mom were at the real prom and Logan was concerned
“I don’t understand. Why aren’t we at the gym?”
His mom provided and explainantion “Well at last minute their was a problem and we had to change the venue.” “Mom what’s going on tell me the truth.”
Gym
“This is what happened as I understand it the courts told the pta to hold and inclusive prom.”
Prom
“Don’t worry we did what we had to do”
Gym
“There was some resistance but the parents met without my knowledge and organized 2 proms”
Prom
“We gave him a prom”
Gym
“One for all the kids at elk lodge down town”
At both places
“Oh my god” Said Patton and Logan
Gym
And THIS prom.....JUST for you!”
Prom
“Now you go have fun! I will be here to make sure everything is perfect”
Gym
Patton’s voice was shaking “Wait no I got texts from kids at school everyone said it was here!”
“They lied to you it was part of the plan.”
“Oh my god!” Roman exclaimed
Prom
“YOU LIED TO ME!” Yelled Logan at Kaylee and Shelby
“Who’s the lier.”
“What?”
“We know about you and Patton.”
“Trust us we’re doing you a favor.”
“You can thank us later.”
Gym
“Patton I’m so so sorry this is...... IM STILL IN SHOCK” Patton walked away to cry a little
“So your saying the whole town kept this from him?!” Said Thomas
“This is so cruel” Said Janus
“I’m gonna cry!” Remus ran into Janus’s arms and started to cry.
“This is a disaster.” Said Roman
“This is a PR problem.” Said Joan as they walked to Roman
“No we had a PR problem, this is a full-blown disaster this is the end of my career.” Virgil overheard the conversation.
“Whoa whoa, that’s why you came here for publicity!?” Roman walked to the taller man “Virgil you don’t know how the world works.” “Yes I do......unfortunately.” Patton put his glasses back on and walked to the front of the gym.
One things universal, life’s no dress rehearsal, when people find a scapegoat, to condemn. We went big yet we’ve blown it I guess I should have known it all along tonight belong............. to them
Patton’s phone rang
“Logan!”
“I swear I didn’t know.”
“You were on the prom committee how did you not know?”
“It was Kaylee and Shelby. They found out we were together they didn’t want me to tell you.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“YOU THINK I WOULD DO THIS TO YOU!”
“Then come met me.”
Silence. Logan began to cry
“I can’t”
“You can’t or you won’t?”
“My mom is here.”
“WELL LEAVE HER!” Tears we’re streaming down Patton’s face
“She’s watching me every second!”
THEN TELL HER YOUR GAY!!!! TELL HER WE’RE IN LOVE THAT WAS THE PLAN WASNT IT!!!
I CANT BECAUSE KAYLEE AND SHELBY KNOW!!!!
“I’ve had enough”
“I mean it’s not how I thought it would go I’m sorry.”
“Great, perfect, that fixes everything, have fun at the normal persons prom!” Patton hung up.
“Patton. PATTON!”
Remus than interjected “Okay here’s what we’re gonna do, we are gonna go to that prom and-”
“NO THIS ALREADY THE WORSE NIGHT OF MT LIFE JUST STOP HELPING ME!!” Patton ran out of the gym crying and Janus followed after him
And make it clear that tonight belongs to
Make it clear that tonight belongs to
Make it clear that tonight belongs
TO US!!!!!!!
End of act 1
Okay so I’m gonna take a break from writing the au for a bit. I’ll still be on tumblr and you guys can talk to me I’m just gonna take a break do for about a week or 2. if you want to be tag let me know
People to tag/ @artissijules @patt-off @frogsandcookies @icantthinkofacreativeurl @purplestarrystars @actingonimpulse
#sanders sides#logicality#prinxiety#demus#dukeceit#patton sanders#logan sanders#roman sanders#virgil sanders#remus sanders#janus sanders#c!thomas#ts joan#livy writes#sanders sides the prom au
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YES MA’AM- REQUESTS ARENT OPEN AT THE MOMENT I HAVE SOME TO FINISH AND ILL OPEN THEM BACK UP!
Summary: he makes it up 🥸
Warnings: soft smut? Language, acting drunk to leave, a jealous Tom holland, NOT PROOF READ
A/n: SORRY THIS TOOK ME SOOO LONG, I WAS LIKE MENTALLY PANICING AND WASNT IN THE RIGHT HEAD SPACE
T.H| Oop-
“I mean am I sleeping over though? Because I didn’t get these chocolate cakes for no reason, zendaya” you eye your phone. “Yes we will have a marathon of Harry Potter” you let out a little ‘yes’ “stop cheering y/n, and Toms gonna be there” “as in...” “yes. Tom holland, impossible tom holland” “REEEEE” you and zendaya have been best friends for what felt like foreverrr, like dramatically long, you played as one of her love interests.
But you’ve had a crush on Tom holland for longer, you had him on your wall, just kidding. But everyone in your family, mostly your mom said “oh you like snow flakes?” “Interracialllllll” “alright give me my privileged babies soon” “damn I kinda took you for the Asian type” “yeah I thought you liked BTS” “UK accents is hella annoyin, find someone else” “would you stop hoggin the TV? I’m tryna watch American Top Model!” “Nah let’s watch basesketball-“ anyways, ya you have annoying, irritating family, oh well.
“You think he likes dark skinned type?” “He likes girls with aggressive tans I know that much” “that isn’t helpful” “hey I’m just being honest” she shrugged looking at you through the phone as she picked up her makeup brush. “So what are gonna do for your birthday?” “I-uhhhh probably clubbing?” “As in golf?” “No, party y/n” she glared at you as you chuckled.
“Please ask hunter when we are getting married” “y/n, I know you have an insane crush on her to but it’s just never gonna happen, she’s mine” you stuck out your tongue at her as she did the same chanting “she’s mine, she’s mine” “whatever I need to get ready” “bye papas” “bye mamas” you hung up, instantly going to your closet and pulling out the dresses you have, only to put them back and grab a two piece, it’s neon yellow, the pants are high waisted, no belt, the top stopping right below your boob, the straps at the end of your collar bone.
For accessories you put on some black dangle earrings and a black purse, a gold but matching watch, but you put on sandals, no high heels because the pants were covering your feet anyways, for your hair you put on your wet and wavy lace front, you added lip gloss to your lips, and they look like glass, in a good way of course, the fox eyeliner with thick parted eyelashes and a neon eyeshadow with it. You brushed your eyebrows up and boom your done.
You stepped back and went to your full body mirror, checking your butt and your boobs, smiling at yourself “you look fine” you sigh, grabbing your bag, phone, and keys.
You phone rung and you answered. “Yes z?” “Are you picking me up?” “Yeah sure babe, I’ll be there soon” “alright bye” she hung up. Luckily for you, you just got your 1966 mustang, vibrant white baby, everyone would wanna touch your car, you named him KAI, stands for kiss ass ight. The License plate saying “white ssn”. (I’m sorry but I really like these old kinds of cars, I fucking had to) you hoped in your car and drove to dayas home, you picked her and her brother up, just listening to old 2000’s and 1900s songs, either rapping or singing your asses off.
You guys were there pretty early but of course you were, it’s her birthday, she didn’t want to dance yet because of her makeup and you felt the same, leaving her brother smacking his lips and eyes glued to his phone.
Now everyone was starting to come, hunter, Jacob, alexia, Barbie, everyone, and most importantly, Thomas Stanley holland. No cap you bout dead as fuck, did I mention you run on Red Bull’s? Just kidding. You remained calm, hugging hunter and talking to her. “Hey” zendaya said, grabbing your hand and pulling you up, pulling you to Tom. “Hi Thomas, this is y/n” “the one and only?” He laughed, making you both giggle. “Yeah” she nodded, Tom got up, opening his arms and she pinched you, silently telling you to hug him. And you did, taking a breath you smelled him, he smelled really good, sexy and musky, like something you’d want to smell all day.
“You smell nice” Tom whispered. “Yeah you too” you smiled, pulling back from his hands as he nodded at you and sat back down, you looked and zendaya as she silently cheered, you walked back over to hunter and ordered something to drink. “So you and Tom?” She asked, you only rolled your eyes. “You know I’ve had a crush on him for years now but I don’t think I’ll be making any progress” you thanked the person as they handed you the cheerily temple. “Whattt? This is your chance to get drunk and confess your feelings, like wake up in the morning with him” you smacked your lips at her “girl I don’t know, and I wouldn’t want him to forget what happend” you shrugged. She put her hand on your shoulder making you look at her “take a shot, before zendaya pressures the fuck out of you both” she warns, making you sigh and throw yourself back in the seat.
“I know and that’s the problem, I don’t think-“ “you’ve had a crush in him for years y/n, you can make this a reality, you don’t have to dream anymore” zendaya whispered in your ear “I told you” hunter smiled. “Fuck stop smiling at me like that, you’re gonna make me fall in love all over again” you said making them both laugh. “Okay Cupid what’s your plan?” “Don’t worry bout it alright girl?” “Alright”
“Harrison fuck off it’ll happen when it happens” “well it seems like she’s bored, I’ll go entertain her” “don’t you fuckin dare haz, I’ll beat the shit out of you” instead of haz getting up Harry did, he walked over to you and sat down next to you, the lights and music booming as he took out his camera. “Hey” he smiled at you. “Hi, I’m-“ “y/n, yeah I know, I’m Toms brother, Harry” he held out his hand and you took it. “I thought you looked really beautiful- I was just wondering if you wanted to take a few pictures?” “Oh I’m not the picture type” “pleaseee?” He beggged, you giggled and nodded. “Alright” he took a few pictures of you as Tom stared at you.
“He’s tottaly gonna get instead of you” Harrison whispered in his ear, making Thomas slap his arm “shut up div, I’m just gonna wait here and I’ll see what happens” he told haz his game plan, no progress. Zendaya walked over “I know you like y/n, please hit on her, you both would look so good together, you’d bring me smoll Bebes-“ “Jesus zendaya we get it” Tom rolls his eyes as haz lets out distant chuckles.
“This is so awkward, he doesn’t like me and-“ you sighed. “Oh my god, you never give up so easily y/n, what’s wrong you’ve liked him since preteens” hunter asked in all seriousness. “Are you talking about Tom?” Harry asks, both of you looking at him and letting out a way to fast “no” leaving Harry in giggles. “Well I wish I could help you but I don’t know anything” he shrugs, you soon see Tom make his way over to you, standing infront of you. He clears his throat to say something big but only lets out an-
“Hey” you wave back at him, hunter silently cringing, feeling the tension able to cut it with a butter knife. “Your so fücked” Harry laughed, Tom glaring at him but smiling back at you. “Uhm, how’s your day?” “To be honest I’m having a bit of anxiety right know” you both laughed “me too, yeah” he nods his head. “Look you don’t have to really speak to me if you don’t want to” you laughed “I think we both know-“ “zendaya” you both said. Hunter looked at Harry, panicking for you as you remained calm. “Okay- yeah- thanks” he smiled, as you returned, he walked off.
“You fucked up” “well what was I supposed to do Harry? Suck his dick?-“ “it would’ve made some progress” “shut up hunter” “I feel awkward for you” “second hand emarrassment hunter” “well you knew what I meant Harry so we are all good” you looked at them both “I’m fucked” they just both agree with you. “I think I’m gonna go” “then I’m coming!” Hunter said. “How are you gonna leave zendaya?” You only picked up his beer can, winking at him and hunter ‘helped’ you out.
“Woah woah woah where are you two going?” Zendaya asked, the shit in her hand as she looked confused. “She’s drunk” “whattttt no I’m nottt” zendaya looked at you as your eyes were barely opened, taking your finger and pushing it against hunters lips dramatically. “Let me tell yaa E sevret” you whispered at zendaya, you came close to her ear, “I’m so naw dunk” “you drunk, get out of here, Tom will give me a ride” zendaya waved you both off, Harry soon running up “let me get your number at least, yeah?” “Sureeeee” you wink at him, he hands you a pen and you write your number, a nice happy face next to it.
“Let’s get you home, nice show you out on” you took your time, trying to look drunk as possible. “My whole life is madness! I can’t- he doesn’t like me I promise you” you say, pulling out of the parking lot, hunter right next to you. “He does, let’s bet on it” “how much?” “200” “shake on it?” She handed you her hand and you shook it. “SOMETIMES YOU LAUGH SOMETIMES YOU CRY I GUESS YOU KNOW NOWWW, I TOOK THE HALF AND SHE TOOK THE WHOLE THING SLOW DOWNN” you both sung together “BABY” you both both failed the note, laughing together as you rode both of you home.
“She left” zendaya shruged, “what why?” “Shes black out drunk” Tom put his eyebrows together, he was litterally with you like a couple minutes ago, sober as hell. “Yeah... alright” he nodded, Harry took out his phone and sent you a simple hey, which you returned under a minute later.
Everyone had a lot of fun, you and hunter ordering some random stuff off of Amazon and making the cake that you would both send to zendaya the next day, on the other side everyone danced and drank, they were sober enough to go eat at least. “Who are you texting?” Tom asked Harry. “Y/n, she’s showing me the things that she’s ordering or something like that, I wonder why she’s a Harry Potter addict” toms jaw slightly clenched, “can I see?” He asked, Harry looked at him, forgetting that you’re supposed to be ‘drunk’ “Nah mate, she’s drunk texting me though” “bulshit, give me the phone” Harry sighed as he gave tom the phone, scrolling through the text messages the messages were alive, not dead at all, no lols, laughing emojis, more ‘lmao’ ‘AKDIHDIHFRJRFN-‘ ‘I- what? Okay-‘ he couldn’t help but be jealous, he handed Harry back the phone.
“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, looking at Tom confused. “You know I like her” “it didn’t seem like it back there” Harry smirked. “Do you like her?” Tom asked, Harry only shook his head “all for you, just making conversation and trying to pull her closer” “whattt Harry got the digits and you didn’t?” Haz whispered, “fuck off”
“But this is like, really ugly” “that’s why it’s called an ugly Christmas sweater, y/n” you layer on her arm, looking at Kohl’s, “green for sure, red is just plain” “how about we get like onzies of animals or the incredibles” hunter looked at you “perfect, yeah” you nod ferociously.
You checked your phone and saw some messages, from you dad and you mom but also Harry, you were quick to answer them all, and as the night got old you had finished the cake.
“I don’t know mate do some research on her, watch her interviews” haz suggests as they were all home, Tom mentally panicking because Harry’s eyes was glued to his phone, he whipped out his computer and searched your name, ‘Y/N has a CRUSH on who?’ He bit his lip and clicked it
“Sooo, we know your the romantic type- so who were you in love with?” The interviewer said, you smiled and shook your head. “I’ve always had a crush on Evan peters, algee smith from let it shine, Keith powers, and of course Tom holland, I don’t know but just in all his movies he was the cutest thing” you giggled, putting a leg over the other. “That’s a lot of people” “hey, I only crush on one now, and yes it’s Tom holland” the girl raised her eyebrows at the camera “you make sure you hit her up” “please do” you wink at the camera, “now, you feel sexy most when?” “Probably when I take a shower and put on my silk robe” you shrugged.
“Silk? Sexy” Tom smiled to himself, imagining you in it, maybe a towel over your freshly washed hair, lingerie under, maybe a mustard yellow to match your skin, his eyes widened in shock as he felt uncomfterble in his pants, he looked down at his pants “fuck, not now!”
“Are you really crying?” Hunter asked. “No I’m having an emotional roller coaster” “so your feeling different emotions, your so bipolar” hunter laughs, “your not helping you know” she only shrugged at you, then the door was knocked on “I’ll go get it” “alright” you acted sleep, thinking that it was probably zendaya and... you were right. “Hey is she sleep?” She asked, hugging hunter. “yeah, but come in- she’s on the couch” hunter smiled, hearing zendayas foot steps and she giggled “she’s sober by now” she bent down, wiggling your ear and you couldn’t help but laugh.
“Hiiiii” she waved at you, you only waved back, then she laid down next to you, her glasses on and in her sweatpants and a black t-shirt. “So you and Tom didn’t work huh?” She whispered and you only shook your head no, a tear fell down your cheek as she coed at you, wiping it away. “He’s stupid, he will come around one day yeah?” You nodded at her, “did you make the cake?” She asked and you nodded again. “Let me show you, come here” hunter said, she looked at you, you looked pretty lifeless at the moment honestly. Hunter and zendaya left and you checked your phone.
Ding
Your eyebrows furrowed at the anonymous message. You opened it and it said-
Hey it’s Tom, I was wondering if you’d like to get lunch yeah?
You texted him back-
As In... Tom holland orrrr...
Tom smiled at his phone
Yes y/n, Tom holland here, take it while you can
Cocky asshat
He laughed at your reply sending winking emojis,
Yeah lunch, I’ll see what I can do
Cya love
Bye luv
As time passed Tom looked at your work, your charity events, your women’s rights, your debates, your everything. He grew more interest then he already did, already wishing to work with you. “Hamburgers? What if she’s vegan, fuck” he only searched up what food you like, “burrito truck?” He could tell you weren’t like the other people with loaded of money, you were more of the cheap rich, not a bad thing but a very good one. “Sparkling water? That doesn’t really go with burritos, she doesn’t like cheese by it’s self or where you can taste it over anything, she sticks to the basics, god I need a pen and paper for this” “I got it, lover boy” Harry says, throwing it at him.
“Hey your the one who’s trying to take her away from me” “no that’s not true, I was trying to help you actually, her favorite color is (y/f/c) she likes nature or a big view of the city, beach sometimes, she actually wants a beach house” he shrugged, Tom smiled and thanked him, writing some things down
-nature, somewhere green for lunch
-quiet too, somewhere not to public
-sparkling water for sure, no burritos though
“Shit I don’t know, chicken or something!” Tom struggled.
-fruits, nuts, macoroons, nuts, wine
He smiled at the ugly written bullet points, “aha” he then took his phone, biting his lips as he tried to find the perfect place.
“He asked me to lunch last night” you smiled, hunter and zendaya looked at each other, mouths agape as they laughed. “Really? Oh my god y/n can I be the god mom?” “Oh I’ll be the god dad all the way!” Hunter added as you laughed and shook your head, you’ve been on a Harry Potter marathon all night, now your on a Star Wars one, so many tears fell of your face, you cried for draco, zendaya cried for George and Fred, hunter cheered on voldermort, which almost got her kicked out, how petty.
“What if it’s only lunch?” You asked, looking at hunter and zendaya. “I mean, yeah it is only lunch” hunter shrugged making zendaya slap her arm. “No it isn’t, you are probably gonna get laid and he’s gonna confess his love to youuu, then you both naked and kissing” “ew don’t make me imagine that” hunter shuddered, sticking out her tongue. “Welp we are staying here when you leave” “how do you know I won’t be back?” “Because I know things”
Tom spent his day visiting places, until he found the perfect one, green and the ocean? Best thing ever. It was pretty too, no plastic, no damage to the ground, the ocean is to be heard, perfect for you and Tom. He texted you to get ready, it was about 6, he bought everything he needed for it, put the ice cream in the cooler with ice in it.
“Alright, this one” hunter held up a dress, a small slit but it was a sweater dress, like for the fall or winter, it’s white with brown buttons that go down to the end of your stomach, the dress stops in the middle of your thighs. “Then wear some comfterble shoes please, we don’t want you to run your toes” zendaya said, pulling out some neon yellow huaraches. “That doesn’t match” hunter said, zendaya put the shoes back and pulled out some dark dark black ones.
You got dressed, comfterble for sure, zendaya flat ironed your hair while hunter did your makeup, “alright” zendaya and hunter admired their art, high giving each other before turning you to the mirror, “don’t worry it’s sweat resistant” hunter said, zendaya laughed as you rolled your eyes shaking your head. Then of course their was a knock on your door. “I’ll get it” zendaya said, you went to your room and grabbed your phone, noticing you have no pockets you held it. “Keep your hands off of my girlfriend, have fun though!” Zendaya said, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you came out and seen everyone smiling at you
“What happened?” You asked as everyone shook their head. “Nothing!” Hunter said smiling at you, Tom came up and gave you flowers, not roses but daises “you look lovely” he says, giving you a hug, chest to chest, pelvis to pelvis, not in a Percy way of course, just a very friendly and close hug. “Can you put these in a vase for me?” You say, handing the flowers to hunter as she only smiled and made her way to the kitchen. “Have fun, once again, we want her back by 10” “that’s only 4 hours zendaya” “we’ll make your way over there, it’s starting to become late” “alright mother, we’re out” you sarcastically say, leaving Tom laughing as he takes your hand and pulls you to his-
“El Camino!?” You said, practicly smiling a a child when they get ice cream. “Yep, I know how much you like old cars so why not get you one right?” He squeezed your hand. “Oh I could so kiss you right now!” “I wanna save it for later, let’s go” he smiled at you, he pulled you to your seat and opened the door for you, you sat down and he closed it, running to his side and getting in. “Your pretty fast” “shut up” he laughed and started the car, Kendrick Lamar playing in the background as you both rode in the city.
It was silent but comfterble, you slipped your phone in the cup holder, played footsie with yourself, and almost shook when he placed his hand on your thigh, you looked at him and he smiled at you “warm” he only said, paying attention to the road, rocking his hand back and forth.
“I love this, you gave me all the things I love tonight” you smiled. “You now at the birthday party I didn’t show that I liked you” he commented, laying in his stomach ontop of the very large blanket as you sat with your legs closed. “Yeah I don’t think you like me... I know if it’s weird and-“ “what no I like you! I do! I’m just stupid, like zendaya would say, so” you both giggled as he sat up and grabbed a grape vine, it has grapes on it by the way. “Lay down” he smiled, and you followed, laying down. “I’ve seen all the work you’ve done” he smiled, the radio in the band Toto playing, Africa currently playing. He leaned down the grape and feed it to you and you chuckled. “I really like how dedicated you are, how hard working you are, how nice you are, everything about you is beautiful” he complemented, the moon popping out for the ocean, the sounds of water slapping the rocks calming the both of you.
“Well thank you” you say, done with the grapes he fed you, he fed you some more. “I bought ice cream” “what kind?” “Uhmmmm, not vanilla, cookies and cream!” “Doesn’t that have vanilla in it?” You looked at him, he shrugged and put the grapes down and took the ice cream out of the freezer “I didn’t know you were such a 80s fan, what would you bring back?” He asked you. “Probably all the color, the music, I love mullets and shags I just love it all, how everything was in fashion, freedom and dumb teenagers and yelling old people, ya know?” “So your a very detailed person?” “Yeah, I don’t pay attention to the big picture that much if I’m being honest” ‘it never rains in Southern California, by tony’ playing, now the moon full on display, he grabbed two spoons and handed it to you, you both grabbed a scoop. “Let’s try something”
“Like what?” “Cross my arm with yours yeah?” You wrapped your arm around his, your spoon facing you “and 3” he said, taking the ice cream in his mouth as you followed, giggling “I like the flavor” you covered your mouth. “See! I knew what I was talking about, and doing!” He cheered, you both laid side by side and looked at the view, still eating the ice cream of course, until he put his lips on yours. “I really like you y/n, I hope-“ you put your lips on his, holding onto his cheek you smiled into it, he made his hand go down to hold onto your waist, the moon shining on both of you, he flipped both of you over so he was on top, you let out a quiet moan as he kissed your neck and slipped up you dress, taking off your panties, you trailed your hands down to the hem of his shirt and pulled it up, rubbing over his torso, moaning as he found your sweet spot, kissing it and sucking harsh circles on your neck, he sat up and helped you take of his shirt, unbuckling his pants and taking off the belt to where ever.
He unbuttoned your dress, taking out your breasts and sucking on one of them, you whimpered as he twisted the other, your hands making it to his hair and tugging a bit making him hum in satisfaction. He switched nipples and looked up at you, you head was thrown back, breathing heavy and he opened your legs, you bucked your hips up allowed him to pull your dress up and over your head, he ditched his pants, well not really, there still around his ankles and both of your shoes are off, how? I don’t know. He came up and you leaned on your arm while the other was on his cheek, your lips hovering his, he muttered a ‘ready’ you nodded and he bottomed out in you, both moaning at the sensation, he kissed you and rocked his hips, you moaned as his hands found your waist, holding onto his bicep for support. Soft moans shared “y/n, fuck your so tight” he whispered in your neck and you whimpered, clawing his arm as he went harder, still slow though,
“Tommy, I’m gonna-“ you swallowed, bucking your hips up and arching your back, he rubbed your hips and held on tighter to them. He groaned and started going fast, high pitched moans leaving your lips as he stopped going hard, “cum for me” he let one hip go and rubbed your pearl slowly. “God- mm” you bit your lip trapping the moans, your head tilting back as he used it to suck more hickies on you, claiming you as you just took it all in, your head slowly starting coming up, leaving cries as your arm circled his around his arm, your back arching more, connecting chests as you said his name like a prayer while you came “fuck fuck fuck” he moaned, so close, your walls to warm to leave. “You on the pill?” He choked out. You repeated ‘mhm’ and just like that he came inside you, your name left his mouth as he rode out both of your highs, breathing heavy as a new song played ‘ask of you’ by Raphael, you both chuckled as he pressed his forehead on yours.
“Would you be my-“ “I think you know the answer Thomas, this is my 12 dream right here” you giggled. He pulled out and rolled over next to you, taking his arm and wrapping it around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest “your moans are adorable, we have to have sex more often” you only laughed at him, coming up to kiss his neck on his sweet spot, his jawline under his ear, sucking hickies on his neck as he looked at the water that the moon is glistening on. You both cleaned up with his baby wipes and covered yourselves with the extra blanket he had, he poured you both a glass on wine too, just taking each other in and the perfect view.
On the other side zendaya and hunter were high giving each other, FaceTiming Harry and saying “we got em!” He smiled and cheered, lifting his beer with Harrison and taking a sip. They set it all up, how? Who knows.
#tom holland x reader#tom holland x black!reader#tom holland#tom holland fanfic#zendaya#tom holland fic#tom holland imagine#tom holland au#jb writes
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I dont wanna talk about it yet
Rant tw death
.
Back at the end of January my gma passed and we from an aneurism that shed had for years. We all knew that was gonna be the thing that got her, it's the thing that got her father too. So the whole family was prepared and she had funeral arrangements sense the 80s. But it was the 1st time someone I knew died. 2 days later my bfs brother brings up his moms 14 year old dog because she had to move out of her house and into an apartment and had too many pets. This dog was my bfs dog when he still lived at her house
I really funneled my grief into nurturing this old deaf dog and making sure she was comfortable. We took her to the vet over the last 3 months and got her cauliflower ears- not quite fixed- but better and she could hear the air kicking on and she could hear cars passing by. About a week and a half ago we asked the vet if we could put her on arthritis meds, and that really helped her. But the last 2 weeks, right before we put her on meds she wasnt really eating much, still drinking water tho.
And we were putting little pads down because she was having problems going down stairs to pee. The day before yesterday she pooped in the house and when o went to pick it up it was black. Google says that's blood in the upper digestive system and the vet was closed so yesterday morning I had my bf call the vet and ask if we needed to take her in or take her of the meds or.... what was going on. Our vet was at another animal hospital for a few days and the vet tech scheduled us to take her there today at 10.
Our dog also was kinda staring off into space and zoning out alot and breathing kinda hard starting the day before yesterday. So I was waking up every hour last night and checking on her, and she was dozing in and out but still not breathing easy, this morning I woke up and we had an hour before her appointment and I was petting her to calm her down and she died while I was petting her
Man , I'm crying writing this
So my bf started freaking out, said to call my mom (who was our ride to the appointment) and while I was talking to her he called his mom and was yelling at her about giving us a dying dog. After he calmed down a little he called our usual vet and asked what we need to do and they said bring her in to our usual place.
So my bf kinda looked at me when he was off the phone and I said I can carry her down
We went to the vet and they came out and grabbed her and asked about what we'd like to do now about cremation or burial and my bf just froze because we hadnt talked about it and he hadnt even thought of it yet
I had a little so I told her cremation and they said that we can worry about payment when we pick up her ashes but like
Guys. My dog died while I was petting her. I've been avoiding thinking about my gmas death from January because my gma and i talked on the phone like once a week and I went over to my moms where she was staying like twice a week. I am not going to be doing okay but I dont think I'll post much about it on tumblr, probably just gonna deal with it on my own
And i gotta make sure the bf is okay because that was his dog when he was like 15 and gotta check on my mom because she watched the dog twice a week while we were at work, and this is the first thing, animal or human, that's passed sense her mom
Idk guys. I feel a little better after having typed stuff out, my notes are full of lots of things like this. But idk why but I want this one is on tumblr
And my sister just messaged me so I'm sure mom told her already
Man I'm gonna have to work tonight
I didnt call out when gma passed either. I was scheduled 2 days off when that happened and my 1st week at work was brought, but I made it through my shifts
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you gonna be okay? - pjs + zcl (NCT)
hello. I wrote this to help myself out of a mental funk kinda ting, which is really depressing in itself, but it did help. I thought it would be a waste if no one saw it, ya know? it's a bit controversial. fun fact: I made a whole new account to post this so no one I know can find me here.
so um for context, both jisung and chenle are quite a bit older than me, and I'm over a year legal in my country. anyway. here we go yeehaw.
warnings: angst (⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️⚠️ MENTIONS OF SH AND PANIC/ANXIETY ATTACKS), kinda smut (like a little bit of grinding and marking and tongue salsa), jisung has anxiety or smth idk, chenle misses jisung, ends with fluff and stuff it's kinda kyoot
word count: 4.4k
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
the recurrence of these emotions should have been the first warning sign. how he had felt this way so often over the past 3 years. maybe the first time he marked up his own body should have been the second warning sign. the numbness within him fading to a euphoric stinging sensation within seconds, then to guilt and anxiety. no one could know. then maybe the third warning sign would have been his growing dependency on things that kill you from the inside. drinking and smoking to feel anything but numb or anxious or like he wanted to be crushed under a car. but none of the above felt like warning signs to him, because between the worst lows and the happy period right after, he would forget anything happened. he would ignore it. he would tell himself it wasnt a big deal, and that no one should know. so no one did.
jisung was seen as the funny, nice friend in this way. he would listen to others' problems and help them as much as he could. he would give people his things to make them happy, not expecting to get anything back himself. he wouldn't try to make others laugh, but would feel proud when he did. people liked him in a casual way. he was a good guy, a kind guy. jisung thought that too sometimes, before he stopped himself. "don't get too into your own head." he would think. "show these people how nice you are. be the happy person that people like. that will make you happy all the time." clearly, that didn't always work. but, to fulfill his purpose, he ignored and forgot the times when he didn't live up to his happy persona. it didn't happen. he was happy. always happy. nothing but happy. and he prayed to any and all gods that he would never get caught out.
°•°•°•°•°•°•
"Jisung. Talk to me for a sec." Coach spoke from across the gym. Whilst still laughing about a joke with his friends, he jogged over to the coach, smiling brightly. "What's up with you today? You get enough sleep? You were all over the place. I swear I saw you trip over your own feet a couple times." Jisung's smile almost faltered, but he caught himself before it could.
"Ah, coach. You know me. I may have spent a little bit longer on Overwatch last night than usual but it's only because of this one guy that kept busting my nu- killstreak, man! I had to get him back or I wouldn't have slept at all!" Coach laughed at the teen's obvious rage thinking back to this other player and his tone softened.
"Yeah, yeah. I do get it. But don't let it happen again, alright? You're my star player and I'm counting on you for regionals. You won't let me down, right?"
"Sir, no, sir!" Jisung projected.
"You cheeky brat. Go on. Get outta here." the coach laughed as Jisung jogged back over to where his friends were joking and packing their bags.
"Hey, Sung. What was that about?" questioned Jeno, whilst spraying himself with deodorant and suffocating the rest of the group.
"Watch it, fuckface!" exclaimed Renjun, coughing up his organs.
"Oh, nothing. Just talking about regionals." Jisung replied after clearing his throat of Lynx Africa.
"Ahh, star player Jisung! But you were a bit slow today, huh? I might just steal your spot up the coach's ass, you get me?" Jaemin nudged Jisung, making the group laugh at the boy's teasing remark.
"Never in a million years, Na." Jisung shoved the boy before grabbing his bag and sidestepping away to avoid reprisal. The other boys followed this action and started walking towards the door, talking between each other.
"So, do y'all wanna get some food or something?" Haechan asked the group, hinting that he definitely did want to get some food. The group all murmured in agreement, apart from Jisung, who replied "Ah, I would love to but my mum wants me back for dinner with the family tonight."
"Aww momma's boy Jisungie. How cute." Jaemin teased before reaching to squeeze the youngest's cheeks. Jisung backed away, making sounds of fear whilst smiling at his friend's show of affection. Jaemin eventually backed off and Jisung rubbed his now red cheeks. He drifted to the back of the group walking through the school's empty corridors. A few seconds later, Chenle found his way next to him.
"Hey, are you gonna make it on the PlayStation tonight?" he asked excitedly.
"Ah, I don't know, man. Depends if my mum lets me." Jisung replied whilst rubbing the nape of his neck.
"What? But she didn't let you play last night! That's child cruelty, I swear!" his shrill voice rang through Jisung's ears, making him flinch to the side.
"Yeah. I know it sucks. But you guys are great without me, too! You'll be fine, man."Jisung reassured the loud boy. They continued to talk about the game that Jisung had missed the night before until the group reached a crossroads. They waved goodbye and Jisung split off from the group who were heading to a diner around the corner. As he walked down the pavement towards his house, he realised how dark it had gotten in only 10 minutes. It made sense as it was December, and he sighed as he looked at the expansive sky with greys and whites mixing with dark blue. As he approached his house, he noticed that the Christmas lights had been put up, white and orange fairy lights strung across the bushes outside and over the front door. He smiled to himself. As he stepped into the house, his fingers tingled from the contrast of the freezing winter air outside and the cozy central heating inside. "Mum?" Jisung shouted down the corridor whilst taking off his shoes and putting his bag on the floor.
"Hey, Sungie! How was school?" her voice appeared from the living room and Jisung walked towards it.
"Ah, same old, same old, you know?" he shrugged.
"Are you not hanging out with your friends today?" she asked as she paused her TV programme. She had been watching Rick and Morty and Jisung couldn't help but think how much she would fit in with his age group. The thought made him cringe.
"No. They were all tired and had to go home." He said whilst looking at the paused TV screen.
"Oh, well. I hope you don't mind but me and dad are going out tonight with some friends so do you mind making your own dinner? Your sister's staying at her friend's house so don't worry about her and your brother's in his room with his friend and they're doing their own thing." Jisung's mum explained. Jisung's face almost dropped but, once again, he caught himself and smiled.
"Of course, that's fine. I'll make myself some ramen. Have fun tonight!" he said as he walked out of the room and grabbed his bag.
"You too!" his mum spoke before the sound of the TV started playing again. Jisung jogged upstairs and down the corridor to his room before walking in and locking the door behind him, as was his routine. He sighed and dropped his bag on the floor, standing still by the door. Next in his routine was the sudden wave of cold that rushed over him, so much colder than the rest of the house. Then his lip would start quivering and he may have let out a whimper or two, before dropping onto his bed and sobbing with no tears, just the feeling of hopelessness running through his veins. His body curled in on itself and his hands clawed at his bedsheets as his face dug into his pillow. He would then rock back and forth for the next half an hour, chanting such phrases as "I wish I was dead" or "I'm horrible" or maybe "I hate this". What it was that he hated? He couldn't tell you. He just knew he didn't want to be there anymore. Or anywhere really. He would contemplate carving into himself like a Halloween pumpkin again but would always chicken out just before, remembering how tiring it was to hide it the first times. He didn't want to add anymore stuff to his plate. Also, his physical appearance needed to match his social appearance. No one could know what he was like on his own. It was his own little secret. However, he needed to feel something. So he would curl up on his floor, his head against his carpet, and scratch all down his arms, as hard as he could. The sensation made him feel something, and feeling something felt euphoric. After maybe managing to shed a few tears and falling asleep, he would wake up feeling drained and somewhat annoyed for not being able to see the scratches on his arms. But of course, he would then think of himself as an attention-whore, and make himself forget anything had happened. His day then continues from then with him being the happy social butterfly he was known to be. And the cycle would repeat.
°•°•°•°•°•°•
"Hey, you better come hang with us tonight. I feel like I hardly see you anymore!" Chenle spoke to Jisung in what he would call his "quiet voice". Luckily, they were in the canteen and there was hardly anyone around.
"You know I would love to, but I've got a lot of homework to do! Mr Suh is being a real bitch lately, you know?" Jisung spoke back as he played with the rice on his plate. School food really did nothing for his constant nausea.
"But you've been working so much lately! You've had to do homework almost every day after school for the past month! And before that, your mum needed you to come home for dinner every night! I miss you, Sungie." Chenle's typically loud and screeching voice fell at the last bit, and Jisung looked up at the boy through his fringe. What did he mean by "I miss you" when he was right there in front of him? He hadn't gone anywhere.
"What do you mean "you miss me"? I'm right here, Lele." Jisung almost reached his hand out for Chenle's on the other side of the table, but ended up deciding against it and just leaning forwards slightly.
"But you're not though. I only see you in school now. And you hardly talk to me anymore. You used to tell me about stuff that's going on in your life. Now I have to talk to you first to get you to notice to me." Jisung's eyes began to get hot as he looked down at the table. He could feel his heartbeat in his stomach and his muscles begin to twitch. This wasn't good. "Do you even like me anymore? I thought you were my best friend, Jisung. What's happened to you?" Chenle's voice held an apprehensive and somewhat emotional tone. Jisung couldn't breathe. He needed to get out of there.
"I've gotta go." he rushed out his words in a hushed tone to stop his tears from falling, whilst pushing up from his seat and speeding out of the canteen as fast as possible without running. His eyes stayed trained on the ground and the tears welling up made him feel like he was about to throw up. He pushed open the door to a toilet block he knew no one would be in before rushing into a cubicle and locking the door behind him. He broke.
His sobs rang against the walls of the cubicle, no matter how much he tried to repress them. He slapped his hand over his mouth in attempt to quieten himself, and his tears fell like torrential rain, down his face, his hands and to the floor. His back slid down the wall of the cubicle until he was curled up on the floor in a puddle of his own trembling limbs and tears. He stayed in that state for 5 more minutes, neither his tears nor his emotions subsiding. Then, he heard the door of the toilet block crash open, promptly followed by a shout of "Jisung?". Chenle.
Jisung's eyes clenched shut so tightly that he was seeing stars, his nails now digging into his cheeks with how tightly he was covering his mouth. The tears didn't stop but at least they didn't make any noise. "Jisung. I know you're there. I won't break down the door. Just let me in." Chenle's voice turned softer, but now with an added hint of concern. Jisung dreaded to think that Chenle was concerned about him. He tried to stop the tears so he could face his friend, but they wouldn't stop, and he couldn't even move. He felt trapped where he was. His body had given up. "I'm not going anywhere, Jisung. I promise." Chenle's voice sounded close, like his head was against the other side of the door. Hearing him say that somehow made Jisung break even further. He didn't know that was possible. His sobs could suddenly be heard again even through his hands tight grasp on his face. "Jisung?" Chenle's voice sounded panicked now. He didn't want to do that to him. He needed to let him know he was there, even like this.
"Chenle-" he rasped out between sobs. His voice clearly sounded tired and weak, with a hint of desperation.
"Please, open the door, Sungie." Jisung sobbed harder, feeling incapable of moving whatsoever, but his best friend's distress gave him an ounce of motivation, but not without added guilt and shame. He hid his head in his arm against his knees and blindly reached for the lock on the door. He felt it unlock and immediately curled his other hand around himself, hoping to not be seen. Of course, that didn't happen. He heard a gasp from above and then felt the brush of air against his arm as his friend dropped down next to him. His sobs had still not stopped and he felt the smallest he had ever felt in his life right at this moment, curled up on the toilet floor next to his best friend. He didn't know what he had expected to happen, but it certainly wasn't the warm feeling of his friends arms wrapping around him, and the warmth of his breath against his neck. They didn't usually do that with each other. This only spurred on more tears, but slightly fuzzier ones. With some sensation back in his body, he twisted his hand upwards to hold onto his friend's arm, a small message to the other boy in an attempt to translate how grateful he is to him and that he's the best friend anyone could ever wish for. It may have not translated that whole message, but he hoped that it got pretty close.
"You're gonna be okay, Sungie." Chenle spoke into the crying boy's neck. The warmth tickled him and caused a hot shiver to run across his spine. Wait. Was he blushing? In shock about having just blushed at the actions of his best friend, he managed to lift his head up and open his eyes. His sight was blurred but he could see the wavy outline of his small friend through his unrelenting tears. He could feel hands upon his cheeks as they turned his face towards him to wipe at the tears under his eyes with the soft pads of his thumbs. He hoped so much that his face was red enough from crying to cover up the ever-growing blush that adorned his cheeks. He bit his lip and looked down in embarrassment, but Chenle didn't allow it. With his hands still resting on his cheeks, he lifted his head back up and pressed his forehead against the others. Out of surprise, Jisung's right hand shot up to hold onto the other's elbow, before sliding up to his hand against his cheek instead. He rested his hand on top of Chenle's and leant into it slightly, enjoying the feeling way too much than he should have felt okay with. His eyes fell shut again as he released a sigh that fluttered against Chenle's cheeks. They sat there, sharing each other's space, for what felt like years. Jisung wished the feeling would never stop. But as long as Chenle was with him, he felt like it never would.
After his tears had slowed and his breathing had evened out, Jisung felt Chenle's hand slide away from his face. He felt himself almost starting to cry yet again, before Chenle's fingers slid between his own and his thumb started rubbing his hand. Chenle's head pulled away from Jisung's and tilted against the wall they were both leaning against instead. "Is this okay?" Chenle asked in a genuinely hushed and soothing voice, one that Jisung didn't know he was capable of. He couldn't tell what Chenle was referring to until he squeezed Jisung's hand ever so slightly and Jisung blushed yet again.
"Yeah. It's fine." the corners of his mouth tilted ever so slightly before he realised and stopped himself. But Chenle didn't even try to stop himself. He had already noticed Jisung's mistake and smiled back widely himself. This only made Jisung feel shy and bashfully smile at the floor.
"Your smile is so pretty." Chenle stated, as if it was the most obvious fact in the galaxy. Jisung's eyes shot up to the other boy's face, who was now giggling at Jisung's reaction. Jisung quickly looked back down to the floor as he felt the flustered feeling spread all over his head.
As Chenle's giggles quietened down, Jisung tilted his head against the wall, before realising just how close their faces were. He could feel Chenle's breath against his lips. He felt an involuntary sound creeping up his throat, but swallowed hard to keep it down. "Are you feeling any better?" Chenle spoke in a deep voice, quiet and gentle on Jisung's currently sensitive ears.
"I do feel better right now." Jisung responded, his voice still weak and raspy.
"Right now?" Chenle's eyebrows curled in confusion. "Why right now?"
Jisung couldn't stop the words from coming out. "Because you're here." His eyes widened the second after he let it slip from his lips, having shocked himself with the obvious "line". He didn't know how to repair that. So he just stayed silent, red in the face and frozen. He only barely noticed Chenle's small smile before he registered that they were somehow even closer to one another. He felt their noses brush together and this time, he didn't think fast enough to stop the involuntary sound falling off his lips. A hushed whimper spilled into the shared breathing space between them. Chenle's head was back where it was before, pressed against Jisung's, and Jisung couldn't stop himself from glancing down at his best friend's lips. His best friend, he thought. This was not normal, and he knew it. But he didn't care. It felt so much better than anything he had ever done before. So much more natural. He wanted this. So bad.
His mouth was slightly open, trying to maximise his air intake as the air around him suddenly got so hot.
"Can I?" He felt Chenle's breath against his tongue, and his nose brushed against Jisung's once more.
"Please." It came out much more whiny than he had expected, but he wasn't even ashamed anymore as his best friend's lips melted into his own, their synchronisation making Jisung feel like he had been missing this his whole life. Chenle. Just Chenle. They seemed to fall into a trance as the taste and feeling of one another became addictive. Jisung only realised what was happening when he felt a hand sliding up his arm and towards his neck, the thumb rubbing against his jugular. Another hand had slid up his leg and was squeezing his thigh. Jisung couldn't help but grab onto the front of Chenle's shirt and pull his body even closer as he released yet another whimpering noise. That was a cue for Chenle to lick at Jisung's bottom lip, subtly asking for permission to take this further. It wasn't even a question for Jisung. He let his mouth fall open and Chenle was immediately there, lapping at the other's tongue with his own. The feeling made Chenle groan slightly, and Jisung's fist clenched tighter on his shirt in response, another whimper falling from his occupied lips. He felt breathless in the best way, so didn't even attempt to pull away to breathe. He didn't want to stop and could tell that neither did Chenle.
A few minutes later, Chenle had explored Jisung's entire mouth and wanted to find out some more about the boy, so his hands fell to his hips and pulled slightly, inviting Jisung to come closer. Jisung took this offer with delight, climbing onto the other's lap and leaning back onto the other's knees as Chenle slid his back further up the wall for a more comfortable position. They both quickly found each other's lips again and got right back into the flow of the situation. Chenle's hands had drifted from Jisung's tiny waist to his hips, just above his ass that was sat in a place that he didn't want to dwell too much on, though he found that to be extremely difficult with how fidgety Jisung could be. Jisung's hands found purchase against Chenle's chest again, occasionally grasping at his shirt when he felt to overwhelmed, so the entire time really.
After a few more minutes, Chenle leaned his head back against the wall, looking up at Jisung with so much adoration. Jisung felt hot under his stare and missed the feeling of his lips.
"You're so hot, baby." Chenle spoke in his low voice, like he was talking to himself. Jisung whined and leaned in, hoping to find Chenle's lips again, only to be stopped by the feeling of a hand around the base of his neck, not holding him, just applying light pressure, enough to stop him in his tracks and make him roll his hips. The feeling made his head fall back and he accidentally released a moan. He felt embarrassed, but also really, really hot. He heard a growl from below him but before he could look back down, he felt Chenle's hot mouth against his neck, right next to his jugular. His teeth bit into the skin and his mouth sucked around the mark, making Jisung involuntarily move his hips faster against Chenle's torso, looking for any friction whatsoever. Like Chenle was reading his mind, he ground his hips upwards into Jisung's own, right as he bit into the other side of his neck. "Fuck!" Jisung exclaimed, the breath being knocked out of his lungs at the sensation.
"Close already?" Chenle teased. Jisung suddenly realised how weird it was to hear that from his best friend. The best friend he would play games with as a child. the best friend he would talk about girls with in his early teen years. The best friend he would vent to when he was stressed, and who would do the same back. The best friend he had talked about getting a house with in the future, somewhere in a big city. The best friend that was now making him feel so fucking good on the floor of the school toilets when they're both supposed to be in lessons. The best friend he wants to scream the name of for the rest of his life, disturbing the neighbours and almost getting kicked out of several apartments. He's not even mad.
°•°•°•°•°•°•
Them walking out of that toilet block must have been the most comedic moment in either of their lives. To set the scene, they both styled matching red faces and disheveled hair, with Chenle rocking a creased shirt and Jisung showing off his abundance of blossoming purple and red bite marks, trailing all over his jaw and neck and deep down into his collar line and, to top it all off, their non-chalant "we did not just fuck I swear" facial expressions. Glancing up and down the corridor to avoid any other unsuspecting students, they made a bee-line for Chenle's locker where he knew he kept a hoodie to hide Jisung's Vincent Van Gogh "Starry Night"-lookin' neck. The only problem was that it was on the other side of the school.
Why Jisung decided to come instead of waiting, Chenle didn't know. He just thought he was too cute and didn't really want to leave him alone either. But luckily, it was still lesson time, so there was hardly anyone in the halls. So there they were, running through the halls Breakfast Club-style, dodging teachers and the odd student, until they reached Chenle's locker. He made quick work of opening it and grabbing the hoodie, buried underneath about 5 textbooks, 3 folders and a bag of snacks. "You're a mess." Jisung joked.
"Look, do you want the hoodie or not?" Chenle reiterated, his eyes wide as if he were scolding a child.
"Yes, yes, I'm sorry!" Jisung giggled, taking the hoodie from Chenle's hands. Chenle jabbed quickly at Jisung's stomach, making him bend over and jump backwards dramatically. He pulled the hoodie over himself, surprised that it was kind of big on him.
"Not as big as you thought you were, huh?" Chenle quirked his eyebrow and Jisung blushed, once again, at his remark. He pulled up the hood and tugged the strings tight around his head, making Chenle coo at him. "You baby." And Jisung swore he could somehow hear the star emojis and "uwu" emoticon in his voice. Chenle walked closer to him, holding his sweater paws and then looking around to make sure no one was there. He then leaned in to quickly steal another kiss, lingering too long for it to be classed as a peck. "What lesson have you got now?" Chenle asked, still holding Jisung's sweater paws, now leaning against the lockers.
"I think Chemistry?" Jisung puffed out his cheeks in thought. Chenle was enamored.
"You okay to go? I can stay with you if you want me to." Chenle reasoned. Jisung's eyes dropped to the ground as he smiled.
"I'm definitely feeling better right now. I might even learn something in Chem." Jisung chuckled.
"Wouldn't that be a miracle." Chenle smiled. The other then pushed his shoulder lightly, making him giggle.
"I'm gonna miss you." Jisung mumbled towards his feet. Chenle leaned in further, smiling.
"That's cheesy and disgusting but you're cute so I'm gonna miss you too." He punctuated his statement with a kiss on the other's lips. Followed by another one. Then another. And another. They were both really lost in each other. And they didn't want to be anything else.
#nct#nctdream#angst#fluff#smut#chenle#zhongchenle#jisung#parkjisung#jisungnct#nct fic#i'm sad#gay#kpop
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