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#i was buzzing to get this done all week tbh
cherrytraveller · 6 months
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i don't feel quite like myself turning into someone else
Twitter || Ko-fi || Instagram
deitifies F!Mikey once again to Nothing More's Spirits now with a wallpaper version for desktop!!
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Uni lecture is making me think about my future for a minute and auuuggghhhh the agonies
#personal#taking a brief break from it bc the feeling hasnt quite overwhelmed me yet but i dont think I'm going to be okay by the end of it!#its asking me to consider what my strengths are. what kind of role I'd like to have in the industry when i graduate#these are questions that i SHOULD certainly have answers to but they kind of just make me not wanna be alive yk? bc i have no answers#I'm not really good at much. like the things I'm best at I'm still completely unexceptional#what are my strengths? don't have any. next question#what job do i want to have in the industry? well that requires an answer to the first question doesn't it#not to mention it requires me to think about graduating and having a job and I've simply never imagined myself getting that far#and i can only give this so much of my attention span bc I'm also thinking about how hard i failed my modules from last semester#my best grade this year has been a c#one of them is a marginal fail meaning i do the reassessment this year (i think)#the other is a hard f. what does that mean? do i resit the entire course next year? maybe#and i can't look it up just yet bc i need to make it through the lecture bc I'm really far behind this other module already#and it's only week 3 and i have a presentation tomorrow#and if i stop watching it im not convinced I'll bring myself to start watching again!#so instead i was just sitting here trying not to get overwhelmed by all of the things i should be thinking about!!!#that's why I'm making the post tbh. just to organise my thoughts and get it out of my system and give myself time to breathe#and my phone keeps buzzing while i type and if it does that one more time i will launch us both out of the window I'm so fucking done#semester has barely begun and im so fucking overwhelmed already#I've joked about being the token nt mutual before but honestly the past few years I've just been getting gradually more convinced I'm not#this can't be how everyone else is experiencing life. surely#like dude I'm so out of fucking touch w the concept of being a human#so in summary: augh the agonies
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three times hyunjin wanted to kiss you plus the one time he finally did | h.h.j
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pairing... bsf!hyunjin x gn!reader tags... best friends to lovers, "unrequited" love, fluff, 3+1 prompt
hyunjin really, really wants to kiss you. but he can't, because that's not what best friends do.
wc... 1.4k words a/n... was supposed to have class today but there was a really bad storm so i whipped this up during my newfound free time <3 this is longer than i planned it to be tbh
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
ɞ° ‧₊˚ ◡̈° ONE
Hyunjin was bored to death. He had done nothing all day except use his phone, watch tv, use his phone, pretend to work on his laptop, and use his phone. Now, here he was, lounging on his couch, tapping away on his phone and looking for food to order.
He contemplated texting you, his best friend, but decided against it, thinking you were probably busy.
Right as he was about to pay for his food, Hyunjin's phone buzzed and a notification popped up. his eyes lit up, realizing it was a message from you.
y/n <3: hyun! y/n <3: are you busy?
Typing as if his life depended on it, Hyunjin quickly replied.
hyunjinnie: nah hyunjinnie: i was about to order dinner tho y/n <3: do you want mcdonald's? was thinking i could pick u up and we can get drive-thru
Ah, times like this, Hyunjin really just wanted to give you a big fat kiss. You were always spoiling him, after all.
hyunjinnie: YES PLEASE!!!! hyunjinnie: maybe we could watch a movie after too hyunjinnie: i mean, only if you want
He was nervous. He's invited you over many times before, but not since he realized that he was maybe, kind of, sort of in love with you.
y/n <3: definitely!!! sounds like a plan <3 i'll be there in 15
And just like that, Hyunjin's smiling like an idiot. Words can't explain how excited he was to see your face, to smell your perfume, and to hear your voice. And if his eyes trailed from your eyes to your lips, that was his business and his alone.
ɞ° ‧₊˚ ◡̈° TWO
Fifteen minutes had never felt longer. Hyunjin was anxiously waiting for you to arrive, eyes darting between his phone and the clock on the wall. Were you purposely driving slow to make him crazy?
As if on cue, you knocked on his front door, making him jump up off the couch in excitement. He slid his phone into his pocket, grabbed his wallet and keys, and walked over to the entrance of his apartment.
When he opened the door, you were greeted with a huge smile and a big, warm hug.
"Hi! i missed you," Hyunjin said, though it was muffled due to the fact that his face was buried in your hair. You giggled at his affection and replied, "We just saw each other last week!"
"I know, I still missed you, though." Smiling sheepishly, he let go of you and closed the door to his apartment. He took your hand and pulled you towards the elevator. "Come on. I'm starving."
×
After a long wait at McDonald's, you finally paid and got your food. Pulling out of the drive-thru, you began your drive back to Hyunjin's house.
"No way, I've been scammed!" Hyunjin gasps dramatically, raising his hand to his forehead and slumping in his seat. "They only gave me five nuggets when i ordered six. I'm legally obligated to one more!!!"
"What? No way." you quickly peeked inside the box Hyunjin was holding, seeing that there were, in fact, only five nuggets. "Alright, we're going back there."
Surprised, Hyunjin sat up and stared at you. "Wait, huh? No, Y/n- I was just kidding. It's just one nugget difference. It isn't a big deal, let's just go home."
"Don't be crazy, Hyun. you paid for six nuggets, and you're getting those six nuggets." The look on your face was one of pure determination. Your brows were furrowed, your eyes focused on the road, and your lips—god, your lips—looked so pretty and soft. 'Perhaps,' Hyunjin thought, 'I should repay Y/n for all the trouble with a kiss.'
ɞ° ‧₊˚ ◡̈° THREE
Hyunjin's heart was beating a mile a minute. The two of you had chosen to watch a horror movie after eating dinner, which was a bad idea considering you both hated them. But the reason for his pacing heartbeat wasn't the movie, no, it was you.
You were sitting next to him on the couch, huddled under the blanket. Your legs were touching his, your hands were clutching his arm, and your neck was resting on his shoulder. He wasn't even paying attention to the movie anymore, not when you were this close to him. Not even the jumpscares affected him. He was far too focused on how your grip around his arm would tighten, how you would try to scooch even closer to him, how you would hide your face in his neck.
After the movie ended, the two of you stayed in your position on the couch, too comfortable to move. Hyunjin had his arm around your shoulders, keeping you safe in his grasp. You were telling him about your past few days, eyes lighting up as you recalled your happy memories. The corners of your lips perked up when you talked, pulling your cheeks higher and bringing your eyes to a crinkle.
You looked so pretty in his arms, Hyunjin swears he could just lean in and kiss you right then and there. But he doesn't, because that's not what best friends do.
ɞ° ‧₊˚ ◡̈° PLUS ONE
The stars were twinkling in the midnight sky. It was late and you were too scared to drive yourself home, claiming that the horror movie "changed your brain chemistry." So, like any good best friend would do, Hyunjin invited you to spend the night. In his bed.
"Are you sure, Hyun? I'm perfectly happy sleeping on the couch." You were standing by his bedroom door, watching him pull out your favorite hoodies of his. He walked to you with a soft smile, handing you the hoodie so you could change into something more comfortable than your old (and probably a size too small) t-shirt. "Oh come on, it's fine. I'm the one who asked you to stay over, anyway. It's only right that you take the bed and I take the couch."
Reluctantly accepting the hoodie from his hands, you sigh. "Okay, okay. I'll sleep on your bed. But! Only if you stay here with me."
A deep blush crept onto Hyunjin's cheeks at your request, but still, he gave in and nodded. "Sure, anything for you, Y/n."
×
It was a long, nearly sleepless night. Beside Hyunjin, you slept peacefully, lying on your side and facing him. He spent many hours staring up at his ceiling, silently cursing and thanking god at the same time for putting him in this situation.
Don't get him wrong, Hyunjin was so glad to have you with him in his bed, but he was so anxious that he'd make you uncomfortable. Were you okay sleeping while facing each other? Was he hogging too much of the blanket? Was he too close to you?
Eventually, these thoughts subsided and Hyunjin finally fell asleep. After a couple hours of rest, the sun started to seep through the curtains, filling the room with soft rays of light. Opening his eyes once again, Hyunjin was delighted to be greeted by your face in front of his.
You were so beautiful. Hyunjin admired the way your plump lips still curved into a small smile despite being asleep. Your hair was covering your eyes, so he slowly reached his hand to your forehead, gently brushing the stray pieces behind your ear. His hand hovered there as he thought to himself, 'I could just kiss them, right now. No one has to know.' Shaking the thought away, he brought his hand back down to his side, choosing to continue admiring your beauty instead.
"Are you going to keep staring, or are you going to kiss me?" you whispered, eyes slowly opening. "I mean, if you won't do it, I will,"
Hyunjin's mouth dropped open. Did he hear you correctly?
You giggled at his reaction, bringing your hand to his cheek. He immediately leaned into your touch. "Last chance, Hyun."
This is it, he was gonna do it. He was going to kiss you. Closing his eyes, Hyunjin leaned in and pressed his lips against yours. It was everything. He could've sworn he felt fireworks explode in his chest. He placed his hand on the small of your back, bringing your bodies together. You moved the hand on his cheek to the hair at his nape, playing with the soft strands.
Pulling away, Hyunjin took a deep breath and opened his eyes. You both smiled at each other, happy in each other's arms. "Finally. You don't know how long I've wanted to do that."
"Took you long enough," you laughed. "I was so sure you'd kiss me after the movie. I was waiting all night."
Hyunjin chuckled and leaned in for another kiss. God, he could get used to this. "Had I known you wanted me to kiss you, I wouldn't have waited for a single second."
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
comments, reblogs, and feedback are appreciated! © like-a-diamondinthesky 2023
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planetmimi · 3 months
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decode - cl16
context: charles leclerc x black!fem!oc, some smau (cause i love those doooown)
faceclaim: @balialdn on insta
cw: none
summary: after a five-month social media break, artist Ahvi finally comes back to social media. her comeback is in the midst of dating rumors swirling around her and two of her...friends.
Italic = flashback
feedback is appreciated, this is my first one so please be nice
ahvi
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liked by charles_leclerc, zendaya and 8.473.875 others
ahvi: my french is getting better, might use it in this project…maybe? (be calm yall)
f1lover: CHARLES WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! welcome back queen (im trying to be as calm, i think i might actually explode from happiness)!!!
username74: oh look the whore is back
username54: awww we all hoped you would never come back
username12: no fr! when her contract ran out i thought that we were finally done with her
username276: YOU DIDNT SAY FOR A WHOLE YEAR MAAM
lewishamilton: new music, maybe?
ahvi: maybe… if you get me paddock passes
lewishamilton: ask your boyfriend...maybe
ahvi: blocked, reported and banned from listening to my music cause OMG?! i just got back too?! like please ntm on me
charles_leclerc: teaching you french has been quite the challenge, i would like some type of credit please
ahvi: if you podium i'll think about it
charles_leclerc: and if i get P1 i want a song written for me and to be in the music video
ahvi: *gasps in étonnement* thats asking for a lot, P1 twice this season and you've got yourself a deal
username67: you should have never come back nobody wants to hear your shitty music
stanningahvi: the fact that it’s been damn near two years without any new music… and a year since we've last seen you👁��👄👁️
lew_max.444: no cause if this is a trick…imma do something heinous
ahvi: is this a threat ? cause it’s kinda feeling like a threat
ahvi4f1: i mean…we can make it one if you want us to 🤷🏾‍♀️
zendaya: as your bestfriend i have to let you know, if you don’t drop this, i will do so for you (i will leak it)❤️
ahvi: sounds like less work for me tbh 🤷🏽‍♀️
zendaya: alright yall secret project dropping next month at 4 pm PST
ahvi: ouuu d*sney dupe 🤭
tomholland2013: please, don’t check your messages mate
zendaya: don’t listen to him. go check your messages babe. go ahead.
ahvi: #CANCELZENDAYA
liked by: zendaya, tomholland2013 and 45.856 others
ahvi
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liked by: lewishamilton, sza and 5.946.087 others
ahvi: why didn't y'all tell me Australia is so hot ?? oh wait.. thats just me sorry y'all
landonorris : FIRST !
ahvi: 15th actually
landonorris : ......... you think you're so funny huh
ahvisdrafts: i mean she is actually a full time stand up comedian, part time singer-songwriter.
ahvi: you get it
username2: so, you and whats his face broke up and now you're going between F1 drivers?
f1grids: wow, never expected an A lister to become a grid groupie
girly2pop: are you ready to write a song for that man?
ahvi: stooop. shhhhhh. if no one mentions it EVER AGAIN i won’t have to do it
normani: tea is she's actually written like six of em already
georgerussell63: why is it always me?!
username29: girl we've heard the rumors about you getting around miss paddock princess
username : never would i have expected ahvi to become as close as she is with the f1 grid…like i didn't even know she knew what f1 was
username9: shes sleeping her way through it lol
username: girl you need to back up off charles
username6: no for real...going to australia three weeks before race week? way to scream desperate
Over the last year Ahvi has become somewhat of a hermit, between rumors swirling of a potential relationship between her and Charles, and her break up with her ex-friend becoming known to the public. All of this buzz around her name has generated a lot of hate, whether it be from her ex-friend's fans, Charles fans or her own haters. For the last year Ahvi has just been the internet's punching bag, despite not being active on the internet.
In the year she took away from social media a lot happened, a lot changed. Before she started her break, she was just off a stadium world tour, about to drop her first proper album. She felt on top of the world, until one day, with only three months left in her tour. Just before her second day at Wembly Stadium, when she fainted during soundcheck and was sent to the hospital.
- a year ago -
Her heartbeats so loud she almost can't hear what the nurse in front of her is saying. The nurse smiles lightly "I know this is probably very shocking, so I will give you some time, but your options are a bit limited with how far along you are." Ahvi nods, trying to process the words that were said to her, "I just- I'm sorry, I know I've made you say it to me a hundred times over but just...one more time and can I see the results."
"Don't worry, this is a common response in this situation," the nurse says as she hands over the blood test results. Ahvi looks at the blood test results, there it is, in black and white, "your HCG levels are higher than normal," the nurse points to her HCG results. Aleyah's eyes follow the nurse's finger, "Your results put you at being 17 weeks pregnant." There's that word again, pregnant, the one part of this she can't wrap her head around. As the nurse was talking to her an ultrasound tech brought in an ultrasound machine.
Ahvi tries her best to truly listen and absorb what the nurses are telling her as she lifts her shirt up to start the ultrasound. When the ultrasound tech brings the wand to where the gel was put a fast heartbeat fills the room and tears swell in the young singers eyes.
The 22-year-old looks at the ultrasound screen, a small incredulous whisper tumbles from her lips, "what the fuck."
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mrswint3rs · 2 months
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i loved ur fic abt jill be a tattoo artist!! could you maybe do one where reader gets her nipple and clit pierced by jill :3
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𝐈𝐧𝐤 𝐓𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 (𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐)
𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏
pairings- Tattoo artist / piercer! jill x fem! reader
cw - smut comes before the piercings, pussy eating( referred to as ‘she’ once), use of vibrator, squirting, overstimulation, obv mentions of needles ��
a/n- i have my bridge and septum done, but clit piercings are my biggest fear. nips too tbh i could never my boobs are too small 😭 anyway thanks for requesting anon!!
⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅
“I’m starting to think you just like the pain,” Jill says, her voice laced with amusement as you waltz back through her studio doors. It’s only been a couple of weeks since you last came.
As you sink into the plush leather chair, you can feel the soft material almost comforting but not quite. You wait patiently, yet your nerves are on edge, much like the last time you were in this position. You know that you're here for a reason and the pressure of that reason makes you want to pick up your belongings and go back home. But you have to put on a brave face. For her, if not yourself.
“Pretty bold request this time.”
“I can take it,” you reply in contrast. But you weren’t at all sure that you could. You were partly looking for an excuse to come back to this room with her. “You’re a professional as I recall.”
She scoffs at your commentary. “Well, we’re going to be starting this session…unprofessionally this time. Lay back for me, will ya?”
Off to a quick start, but you can’t be bothered. It is kind of what you’re here for. You couldn’t get the last visit out of your head no matter how hard you tried.
Jill took over your thoughts just like she had hoped for. When you got home that day, you rummaged through the bag to find her contact info immediately. Only took you about 30 minutes to find it. She wrote it inside the instructions for the aftercare cream.
—————-
Hands find their way to the waistband of your pants, pulling them down to your ankles at the foot of the chair. She notes that you’re not wearing any panties, but considering you’re here to get your clit pierced, she’s assuming it’s related to that.
“Since she’s going to be irritated and healing for a while… thought i’d take care of you first.” she pulls her way up between your legs, only instead of her mouth, she brings out a low buzzing toy.
You spread yourself out for her in an instant.
Not once did you think about the piercings healing process. Going a couple weeks without touching it was probably going to be the death of you. You start to feel jittery again just thinking about it. The thought of ripping it out or it getting caught on something.
But your thoughts are quelled when the vibrator is placed firmly on your soon to be touch deprived nub.
“Relax sweetheart,” she croons. “Just feel good for me.”
“Too much-“ you whimper, nails digging into the leather of the chair again.
Instead of turning it down, she puts it on the highest setting out of ten. “C’mon, thought you were a brave girl…”
She uses a thumb to lift your hood, sending vibrations through your most sensitive and reactive part. “I can’t..” you whine again. Your body jerks on its own, the stimulation becoming too much for your mind to handle.
“You will.” she states sternly. She keeps her torment going, not moving an inch as you writhe.
A burning takes over your body, throughout your core and you as a whole. Your voice dies out, only gasping breaths sound. It feels like an explosion.
Well, it kind of was.
Juices burst from you unlike any orgasm you experienced, and they just keep coming. Jill doesn’t remove the toy, forcing more and more to drain from you until you’re practically gyrating.
Even then you can’t catch a break. She sets the vibrator aside, her mouth taking its place. Her tongue swirls and flicks wherever it wants, licking up your mess. Though she seemed to only be making more. You were dripping onto the chair from the combination of her spit and your streams of cum.
You push her head away not being able to endure. Only at your trying to get away does she finally stop.
Her face reveals itself to you again, completely a mess which she cleans herself. You’re shaking like crazy, but you can’t decipher whether it’s because of her torture or because you know what comes next.
The option to back out was still there, you could cancel at any moment. Even as she’s sterilizing the needle, wiping you down with the alcohol wipes that sting your nose and eyes.
No, you had to be brave.
“Try and stay still now,” she instructs. Only you kind of can’t after what she just did to you. 
“How bad is it gonna-“ you start, but you’re silenced as the needle pierces suddenly without a countdown or second thought. Not as bad as you had anticipated. In fact, your shaking stops completely and you can feel that rush of adrenaline almost calm you down.
Just a slight pinch, even as she chases the jewelry into your hood. “Not so bad, hm?”
You shake your head, feeling weirdly aware of everything.
“Still up for the next one?”
“Yeah,” you nod, almost eager. You take your shirt off, followed by your bra and Jill takes a moment to breathe you in. Your form was gorgeous.
Again, she wipes the area with the cold alcoholed pads, circling your nipple until it’s painfully firm and moving on to the next one. She grips under your breast to ‘support’ as she continues.
This time, she gets a marking pen, thinking professionally again as she takes visual measurements. She makes sure it’s set up to be symmetrical, dotting the entryway and exit for the piercing needle. “y’know,” she starts, turning to pick up the piercing tool. “I’ve got mine done, but I think yours are perfect for it.”
The clamp squeezes the area around your nipple, hurting more than the previous penetration. You think about what she said, you were unbearably curious. You wanted to see, maybe compare to hers. The thought distracts you from what’s coming, but not for very long.
The needle jabs through, only you actually feel it in full this time, tears uncontrollably welling up in your eyes. She immediately pushes the jewelry in after and you’re reminded you’ll have to do this twice.
Air pulls through your gritted teeth, a wince coming out of you and it’s clear to her how badly this one did you.
“Sure you’re up to the task?”
“Just get it over with..” you try to reply like a hardass even though your face says it all.
She only sighs, switching over to your left side. “As you wish, princess.”
The clamp squeezes again and you snap your eyes shut. In a way, not looking at what was happening seemed to make it more bearable. The needle goes through in an instant, along with the jewelry and it’s finally all over. Though, you were nervous about putting your clothes back on.
That’s taken care of by jill. She introduces you to a supply of film patches to wear over for healing.
As protocol, she tells you how to care for both sets of piercings, how to keep them clean and of course her recommended products.
“Next time, why don’t you come see me after hours?” she suggests. “I didn’t give you my number just for business.”
“I didn’t want to assume…”
“I think we’re past the point of questioning intentions sweetheart.” she laughs, a genuine smile forming on her face. “I don’t do this with other clients.”
mlist
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munsster · 1 year
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kurt kunkle and his bimbo girlfriend
A/N: this week has literally forced me to be obsessed with this greasy little slasher (soooooo my inbox is surely open!) (gif creds: @stevesnailbat)
Pairing: Kurt Kunkle x Fem!Bimbo!Reader
Warnings: Spree (2020) related content, kurt kunkle, smut/suggestive themes, MDNI, slasher themes (blood, gore, murder, ghostface), pet names (baby, slasher), cam/stream sex
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im sorry but gamer bf x bimbo gf trope is actually flooring me rn
he’s just this greasy little streamer you started watching and you’re this total babe who’s obsessed with him
and you are really obsessed with him
you are literally his Number one fan
if kurt kunkle has 100 fans, youre one of them. if kurt kunkle has 1 fan, its you. if kurt kunkle has no fans, you’re dead.
you plugging kurtsworld96 at any given chance, like he’s so confused the first time he hears you do it, but then he gets so happy and just pulls you in
you being the first one to be super excited about his amount of viewers/followers
a celebratory kiss for ur streamer bf 🥰
also getting really worried when he seems to be in a little bit of trouble (ie cops in the background yikes)
him always reassuring you that he’s fine and he’ll figure it out
you dont know it but he’ll do anything you say, even if it meant turning off his stream for the night
you literally suggested doing cam stuff together before chat suggested it, but now chat is like obsessed with that because theyre a bunch of pervs
you treating chat like a sassy lil mama (“ew! behave yourselves” “ask nicely” “‘put it in her ass’ oh cmon, you know better” “shhh, quit being bratty, thats not how good little viewers get what they want, now is it?”)
youre such a lil price gouger, youre like “okay if someone sends in $50, i’ll let you guys watch us” and chat loves you so obviously they end up doing that
kurt really really loves you, plus you do wonders for his numbers. viewers basically double when he even mentions you
“‘kill your gf’ pfft yeah right, i know all his tricks, i’d like to see him try!” and you’re like in his lap and grinning and he just grins at you and when you turn to face him, he lands a big ol smooch on you
even after months of being together, he still gets nervous around you
and you always tell him to “relax, baby, it’s just me” all while he’s literally buzzing in your presence
he probably likes his hair pulled tbh
like even when you just run your fingers through his hair, he’s purring, he’s so slutty for it
asking him to do skincare/haircare with you as an excuse to take showers together 😝
like of course he’s gonna do it 1) because he loves you and 2) because afterwards, he smells like a candy store
you picking out his outfits because what he wears now is actually a cry for help
no because he would actually let you treat him like a dress up doll
you being really excited about it and telling him to do GRWM and OOTD segments on his streams (which are completely led + narrated by you, but he doesn’t need to know that)
him teaching you how to play video games (even though you already kinda know, you let him have his moment)
you designing the clickbait thumbnails for all of his youtube videos and they’re definitely all sparkly and pink and cute
you begging him to come with you to get your nails done, telling him he doesn’t have to get his nails done, you just want him to go with you
but of course, you convince him to get his nails done (just a basic polish *cough cough* in literally neon green, his choice) and he flaunts it to stream
he definitely makes fun of bobby like “my girlfriend is literally so hot. where’s yours? oh wait……”
and you HATE bobby
you think he’s a bad friend to kurt, but you’d never tell him that. you just scheme like “noooo baby, hang out with me, not bobby” and he’s like okay 🥰
also him being a little protective and possessive over you
like when other attractive people glance at you, he’ll grab your hand or put his arm around you or ask for a little kiss (all of which you do happily)
i love yous are thrown around like none other, and it makes him blush everytime. even when youre just tuning in, if he gets that “i love you, slasher” message, he’ll go red as a tomato
oh that reminds me: youre favorite movies being slasher films like scream and scary movie and american psycho, and he’s not stupid so he definitely senses the theme there
bonus: he definitely buys one of those ghostface masks just to surprise you (and get into your pants)
you offering to help clean his car after particularly gory kills (and he knows ur really good with aesthetics and detail work)
also you cleaning him up after particularly gory kills 🥺
like he’ll come home with blood streaked down his face, and you’re like “aw baby 😟 c’mere”
he LOVES it, he feels like a little puppy dog around you because you take care of him so well
you are all about sneak attack kisses, and he never knows what to do with them, he just sits there and smiles while you hold his face and pecks his lips
bro eventually, he’ll start laying the rizz down on you (and he’s not very good at it but) its so sweet that he’s genuinely trying and happy
like he’ll just spit pick-up line after pick-up line whenever you’re around, and you just giggle and kiss him on the cheek
you don’t even have to ask and he’ll buy you cute clothes. not that he’s insanely rich or like raking it in, but he makes enough, and he will spend money on something nice for you before he buys something for himself
him begging to drive you anywhere and anywhere even though your car works perfectly fine, he just wants to do things for you
also him begging to rig your car with cameras, too, just so when he does have to be in your car, he can still stream
ummm bonus: he definitely sets up a camera above his bed so like not only can he do sleeping streams, but…. you know…… angles 😌
you bringing him snacks and drinks during his stream and he gets the biggest googly eyes
you’ll just walk in in like the skimpiest little outfits, grinning and winking at the camera before giving kurtie a sloppy kiss
yall he’s so fucking dumb (in a loving way), but you’ll get into the car in like the most revealing and tight top and he’ll get all nervous and try to angle the cameras like ‘yall seeing this???’ all while smirking to himself
him accidentally referring to you as his wife on multiple occasions while streaming
letting you put your songs in the queue every so often
bonus: after hearing you play it literally once, his new favorite song is ‘stars are blind’ by paris hilton. that shit bangs and he knows it
him making you a playlist of all his songs (and he actually falls in love when you mention the fact that you listen to it almost constantly)
he actually can’t believe you love him and you’re of fan of his work and you’re actually the cutest thing he’s ever seen (nice tits, too)
it takes a lot of convincing and proof on his part that you truly love him, but you’re not shy about showing it and you’ll prove it to him anytime he needs
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Text
Wrong Number
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Pairing: Steve Rogers x female Reader 
Summary: When Steve texted the wrong number, he started a friendship with you. Most of your talks are about your Corgi Bella, but then you find out who Steve really is 
Word Count: ~3.5k 
Warnings: body shaming for Steve (don’t worry, other people make sure to tell Steve how beautiful he is), if you don’t like garlic I’m sorry – just imagine it is something else, some swearing 
A/N: Texts in [ . ] are text messages 
[I’m just asking because Sam begged me to ask you to bring your garlic dip to the barbeque. He won’t shut up or else I wouldn’t be bothering you.] 
[I don’t know a Sam?] 
[Haha, I’ll tell him that] 
[No, seriously. I don’t know who you’re talking about.] 
[Good one, Nat. You could have just said you wouldn’t bring it.] 
[I’m not Nat... And tbh I don’t know who you are either. I think you have the wrong number 
At least I hope Sam gets the garlic dip, if it helps] 
You didn’t hear anything else from the unknown number and it had been a few days. When it was Thursday evening and you were bored and scrolled through your messages you saw the unknown number again and decided to send text. 
[I hope Sam got his garlic dip!] 
When there was no reply in the next minutes you put your phone aside and put more focus on the show running in the background. Then your phone was illuminated by an incoming text. 
[He was very sad he didn’t get it. And he did complain all the time while he was still stuffing his face with my apple pie.] 
[Wow, so I guess that dip must be very good then. Any chance I could get the recipe?] 
[I doubt it. No one has gotten it out of Nat so far] 
[What about your pie recipe?] 
[Who knows, I might share one day] 
[Well a girl can hope. I hope I didn’t bother you.] 
[No bother, I’m glad you’re distracting me from some paperwork] 
[Well then here’s something else to distract you] 
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Steve wasn’t sure if he should open the picture or not. He heard stories, but in the end his curiosity won, and he was rewarded. He looked at the cutest little dog who was sleeping on a rather big pillow. 
He couldn’t help but gush about the dog and learned that she was yours, was called Bella and a corgi. You shared stories about her and he couldn’t help but ask more and more until he noticed that he should really finish writing his report. But talking to you was fun and so he decided to go to his room and call it a night. He would get up earlier in the morning to write the report. 
He messaged you when you were taking a walk with Bella, telling you to be safe. It became a daily occurrence to talk to each other. He messaged you in the morning asking how Bella was, although he knew that she wasn’t with you. It was easier under the pretend to ask about your dog than to ask directly how you were doing. But it was always the second question he asked. 
Talking to you was just easier – it might be because he was just Steve. No Captain America, no solider, just Steve who was talking to a nice woman about her dog. And your job, your family – you had been messaging for weeks now and he still learned something new about you. 
You still tried to bribe him with pictures of Bella in exchange for the recipe for the apple pie. It wasn’t like it was a big secret recipe, but he enjoyed the banter and the pictures that came in through the day. The latest one was of the dog with her head turned to the side and a crown that almost fell from her head. 
[I saw the crown and thought it was fitting as you always call her princess, but she seems to hate it 🙁] was the caption of the pic. 
[She doesn’t need a crown to be my princess. Will you go on your walk soon?] 
[Yup, just getting ready] 
That was the last message he received. He didn’t like you being out on your own at that time of the evening. You had sent him a picture and it was dark, so he always texted with you. But this evening he didn’t receive an answer so for the first time he did something he had never done before. 
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The buzzing didn’t stop and you fished the phone out of your jacket, it showed an incoming call from Steve. It took you a second until you finally pressed the green button. 
“Hello?” you asked. You hadn’t realized that you had stopped walking until Bella nudged your leg. 
“You didn’t reply to my message, I wanted to make sure you’re okay,” you heard his voice – and the sound of it made you wonder - not for the first time - how he looked like. 
“Were you worried?”  
You didn’t expect him to answer with a clear yes. “I did, I needed to check in on my girls.” That did things to you, you weren’t able to handle yet. You played it off and talked about Bella instead, who was getting restless. 
“I guess you can keep us company, Bella just wants to keep going.” 
“Of course she is, she wants her mom home safe. She’s my good girl,” he said, and it was as if Bella heard his voice when she starred at you. Steve was on the phone with you until you told him you arrived home safely and put the phone on speaker where he talked to your dog while you took off your jacket. 
“I have to go now and play with a grumpy cat,” he told you when you were back on the phone. 
“You have a cat?” you asked astonished as he had never mentioned it before and only then did he admit that he had been at his best friend's place. You scolded him for talking to you instead. 
“As I said I was worried about you. The punk wouldn’t dare to say anything, but Alpine might bite me if I won’t give her some cuddles now. Have a good night, sweetheart.” Before you could reply anything he had ended the phone call and you could only stare at your dog on shock. 
“Well, that’s a new one.” 
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Tuesdays you helped at your local animal shelter. And that day there was a lot of talking and surprisingly many people. 
“What’s happening?” you asked Amy when you signed in.  
“A lot of people are here today because of the photo shooting. A few Avengers came by to take some pictures for a campaign to adopt more animals. Pretty good idea, but the day wasn’t as good. The photographer was a bitch. There really isn’t a better word for it. She was complaining the whole time, demanding and then she was a real bitch to Captain America. The man came here to do something good, for free might I add, and she looked him in the eye and said “I thought superheroes were supposed to be perfect. This is going to take so long to photoshop these arms with these stretchmarks all over.” 
“She didn’t,” you gasped. “What did he say?” 
“That poor man excused himself. He said he was sorry and opted to put on some more clothes. Can you imagine? What a crime!” 
“Damn, now I wish I had been here. I would have ripped her a new one, this is no way to talk to other people. And especially not someone who risks his life for us. And who in their right mind would look at him and tell him he’s ugly?” You were getting upset and you weren’t even there. Amy asked you if you could take Daisy for a walk and let that information slip that she had been the dog that had been photographed with Captain America. 
Daisy had gotten her name because of a white spot on her butt that looked like the flower and you were surprised that she hadn’t found a forever home yet as she was the sweetest dog you had ever met (but you wouldn’t say that out loud when Bella was near).   
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“I think I cheated.” Your heart stopped for a second before you remembered that he couldn’t be talking about you – as you weren’t a couple. 
“You think you cheated?” 
“Today I had – I saw a couple of puppies and I slipped and called the little girl princess and then I felt bad immediately when I noticed, and I just had to call and come clean and apologize to my princess. Of course, she’s the only one, but maybe she’ll understand if she sees her.” 
“Did you call to apologize to my dog for calling another dog princess?” you concluded. 
“I would have come over and gave her favorite treat and some cuddles if I could, so I hope this will be enough though.” There has never been a conversation about if the two of you should meet. An incoming picture distracted you though. 
And this time you were sure that your heart stopped, because there was no way! No way that this picture happened today and that you were staring at the same puppy that had been in your arms not 3 hours ago. And had been in Steve’s too. “I’ll just... I’ll put you on speaker so you can apologize to Bella. I have to use the bathroom, I think.” You put the phone on the floor, told Bella – who let out a whoof when she saw you walking away, but decided to stay near the phone and not move at all from her place. 
Your Steve was Captain America. Your Steve was Captain America. Your Steve was Captain America. You felt like a damn fool, but on the other hand – what was he supposed to say? Obviously he wouldn’t introduce himself as Captain America. And then you remembered what Amy had told you about that awful woman and you bet he had an awful day while you just let him alone with your dog on the phone.  
“I’m back, sorry for disappearing and leaving you with my dog.” 
“That’s alright, are you okay?” 
“I am! What about you?” You pressed the phone closer to your ear. 
“I’m okay too. Feel a lot better now that I’m talking to you,” he admitted, and you could hear that he really sounded more relaxed. “Okay, so I’m going to suggested something crazy here. How about we switch to a video call? You don’t have to show me yours, but you could see Bella if you want to. And me, if that’s what you want.” You must have been out of your mind to suggest that, but now that you knew who was on the other side of the phone, it just seemed fair. 
“Only if you want to, sweetheart.” 
“Let me change real quick, so I won’t be in my pj’s anymore. But I’ll put Bella on first.” You placed the phone in front of her dog bed and pushed the call button and when you could hear Steve’s voice again you quickly went to throw on a regular shirt and decided to stick with the pj pants. And you couldn’t do anything to hide the growing pimple on your face, so you wouldn’t be bothering about that either. 
When you came back and picked up the phone Bella looked confused, then lost and followed you towards the couch where you were headed. In the end Steve had a good view of your dog and a not flattering angle of you. “So guess this is me then,” you said when the other line went still and you saw the black rectangle in the corner. 
“Wow, I didn’t think you’d look like that.” You face must have shown you confusion. “It’s nothing bad, its better, but like you imagine how the other person would look like when you’re talking to them and it isn’t that at all, but you’re … beautiful. Seriously, I knew you’d be because of everything you told me, but seeing it with my own eyes. I wish I could show you myself, but today... isn’t a good day.” 
“That’s okay, I offered. You don’t have to do that, don’t feel pressured.” Bella made a noise as if she’d agree and a laugh was heard through your speakers in reply. 
Minute by minute his mood improved; you could hear it in his voice. He was telling you about the cute dog and you felt like you kept something from him when you didn’t tell him that you knew Daisy. But then you’d give away that you knew who he was and he wasn’t ready to share that. He had only told you he didn’t have a good day and that talking to you had made it better. You noticed that this was the first time he left Bella out. 
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“So what, you can gush about one corgi all the time, but when I take you to a corgi party, you’re all pouty?” Sam couldn’t believe it. Steve had been in a mood for a few days and Bucky and he thought this would cheer him up. 
“Steve, did you see the one dressed up as Captain America?” Bucky was excitingly pointing somewhere in the distance. It seemed like he was having the most fun of the three of them. Steve couldn’t tell his friends that this made him kind of sad, because it made him miss you and your dog. The talking had fizzled out and you almost had no time to call or anything. You still sent him messages when you were on your walk (He just couldn’t reply in that moment because he was on a mission) and you sent him pictures of Bella, but it felt like something was missing since you had your video call. 
But how could he tell you that he wasn’t just Steve, he was Captain America too? 
“Steve, look at that one at your feet. It’s looking up to you.” 
Steve looked down and there sat a Corgi. “Hey there,” he cooed and bend down. “Aren’t you a cute one?” The dog waggled its tail and flopped on its back, so Steve started to rub the belly. “Are you lost?” he asked when he noticed the leash hanging loosely at the dogs side. “What’s your name pr- sweetheart?” He stopped himself, but he noticed the ears standing up when he almost let the petname slip. 
Two things happened at the same time: While Steve looked at the name on the dog tag at the collar, someone shouted for Bella and the dog got back on its feet. 
“Princess?” Steve asked at the same time you asked “Steve?” and then he said your name or more like breathed it. Bella let out some noises so no one would forget about her, while you and Steve were busy staring at each other, and he had stopped petting her. 
The moment was broken by a man approaching. “Sorry, but could I take a picture of you and Oliver? I can’t believe we met the real Captain America!” Steve looked briefly at you, but you offered to take the picture. Bella refused to leave his side and so you took a picture with her at his feet, Steve with a forced smile and a dressed-up Captain America Corgi in its owner arms. 
When the man left Steve looked apologetic at you. “I didn’t want you to find out like that!” he said sheepishly. 
“Oh, I already knew,” you admitted and looked at the two people standing behind him. After a quick introduction they asked if it would be okay to pet Bella and you told them that she would be disappointed if they didn’t. 
“Have you met Winter?” you asked Bucky who gave Bella the pets she so desperately wanted. 
“Uh no? I don’t think so?” 
“You have to meet her! I just met her and her owner and they are so nice! Winter is actually named after... well I guess you’ll find out. But I bet she would love to meet you! They wanted to get something to eat so you might find them there.” 
When it was only the two (three) of you Steve apologized for not telling you sooner about his alter ego.  
“It’s not like you need to walk around, telling everyone. I get it, Steve. I’m not mad! You told me about you and your friends, what you like and don’t like. You didn’t need to tell me about your job. And it wasn’t like I told you when I found out who you were either.” 
“Why didn’t you?” he asked when you stopped so Bella could sniff at a new friend. 
“I thought you’d tell me when you’re ready. And I heard about the photo shooting at the shelter, so I thought this wasn’t the day to bring it up. And I want to tell you again,” you stopped and, with a bravery you didn’t know you had, took his hand in yours and only continues when he looked at you: “Don’t listen to that horrible woman. You’re very handsome and you’re such a beautiful person, don’t let other people tell you otherwise!” 
A blush started to appear on his face, but he didn’t let go of your hand and in the end the three of you left the park with him texting his friends they shouldn’t wait for him. Talking to each other felt easy and you didn’t even know why you hadn’t really talked in the last weeks. Maybe it was because you felt insecure after that video chat.  
But your friendship with Steve grew and now he was even accompanying you on your evening walks, which often ended with late night talks in your apartment. If Steve couldn’t come it was Bucky or Sam and one time Natasha stood in front of your door and introduced herself (That same night you also found a little note with some ingredients on it in your kitchen). Bella loved all of them and especially the one-time Bucky had a little companion with him. 
“Interested in talking a walk with us?” he asked. 
“Us?” you asked confused as you didn’t see Sam. 
“Yeah, Winter and I were about to take a walk.“ Your eyebrows rose when you spotted the three-legged dog next to his side. “Just don’t ask, okay?” You promised but you would be asking Steve as soon as he was back from this mission! Walks with Bucky were kind of different, not as much was said as it would be with the other ones, but you somehow felt that in the non-talking you said a lot to each other. 
“So, when are the two of you making it official?” he said randomly. He didn’t look at you and was instead watching Bella and Winter intensely. 
“If Steve is interested in something more than friendship, he should make it known. I thought I had made it clear that I’m interested and if he isn’t taking the next step, I’m not pushing it into something it isn’t.” 
“I guess I need to have a chat with that punk then.” Winter and Bella were exhausted from the impromptu playdate and while Bella crashed immediately when you opened the door, Bucky picked up Winter without a struggle, told you good night and made his way back out of the building. 
The next time your doorbell rang you it was Steve in civilian clothes, but still with dirt in his face and his hair unkempt. “We need to talk!” 
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You couldn’t help yourself and you had to take a picture! The sight in front of you was just too cute. “Don’t stand there and join us!” Steve’s sleepy voice suddenly said, and you should have expected that he had noticed you lurking in the doorway. You quickly walked over and laid in the arm that your boyfriend held out for you. 
“Did you like the picture you took?” he asked. 
“Love it, actually.” 
A few minutes later a notification popped up on your phone. 
[Steve Rogers posted a picture] 
This is real and even heroes aren’t perfect was the headline and it showed a picture of a shirtless Steve - stretchmarks and all - in bed with a corgi thrown over him and they looked at each other with love in their eyes.  
Steves Instagram post made the internet go mad. Theories about who that dog was, what made him post after such a long time and then something so extremely personal. And no one was prepared for the chain reaction that followed:  
Under the hashtag #HeroesAren’tPerfectEither and #AdoptDon’tShop followed pictures of the other Avengers. The Winter Soldier posted a picture of him standing in front of a dog with only three legs – and without his prosthetic arm. Many pictures more followed and the campaign, that wasn’t a campaign, was more successful than any other. More furry friends found their forever home, although Steve felt that in his case it had been Bella who had adopted him and showed him his forever home. 
Masterlist | Library Blog
Reblogs, comments, asks or just a ramble mean the world to me &lt;3
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littlejuicebox · 4 months
Text
Dancing on my own
Guys I don’t know what this is, it’s just some random angsty drabble that came out inspired by the song “Dancing on My Own” by Robyn (the version by Calum Scott is also nice).
I’m trying to get out of a writing slump so there might be a few more random bits of writing here and there. I’m not sure I even like this tbh lol.
Summary: You and Astarion decided to be just friends after his Moonrise Towers confession. He couldn’t make himself admit to you that he wanted more than that. He knew you deserved better than what he could offer. Now that his quest with Cazador is done, he’s totally lost. He wants you, but you have someone else now; he thinks it’s someone better than him. He’s heartbroken.
Tags/Warnings: PG13, lots of angst, depression, PTSD, low self esteem, depersonalization/derealization, sad Astarion, tbh it’s kinda just a sad bit of drabble
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Astarion killed Cazador. You’d think he would’ve been happy… ecstatic, even. But instead he felt exceedingly numb and so, so tired.
It had been nearly a week since then. Astarion had spent most of that time in his room, trancing or simply just lying in the dark. He was exhausted; his limbs felt like lead.
Shadowheart was concerned he had fallen ill and kept checking on him. He would simply grunt to her in response or ignore her line of questioning until she sighed and left.
You came by a few times a day to offer him your wrist; he would drink with a misty-eyed, faraway expression… or sometimes not at all. His hand would linger for a moment on yours, and then he would roll himself the other direction, turning away from you.
It was hard to look at you, to be that close to you, to touch you, to taste you. Blood and sex had been so intertwined in the beginning, it always brought back the memories from before. It made him sick to his stomach.
But his hunger often won, in the end.
How ironic, that the only blood which satisfies his near-insatiable thirst is also the only blood that makes his stomach churn with guilt and disgust at himself.
A double edged sword. Stabbed through his heart.
He should be happy… ecstatic, even. But, by the gods, is he so, so tired. Can a vampire rot into the earth if they stay in one place for too long?
Perhaps. Perhaps he should get up and move, if only to avoid rotting away.
Astarion manages to take a short bath and pull himself together… somewhat. It’s hard to move when your limbs feel like lead. His shirt is wrinkled, and his hair feels like it’s not quite in place, but it will have to do.
The pale elf slinks down to the tavern, where the evening crowd is teetering the hazy line between buzzed and drunk. He’s not in much of a mood for talking to others, so he sits in a corner booth, hoping the natural shadows and his brooding demeanor will deter any visitors. For a few moments he feels normal… or at least acts it. But then he sees you. And Halsin.
Halsin has his arms coiled around you as he absolutely ravages your lips. His thick hands are gripping your body; one hand on your waist, one on your neck. It’s an exceptional amount of PDA; he would vomit, if he had anything left in his stomach from the only small sip he’d taken from you this morning. The hand the druid tenderly placed on your neck is covering the scars Astarion had marked on you from the times before, back when you’d been his. Had you been his? Back before—
“I had a plan. A nice, simple plan…”
“Maybe what you need is a friend, not a lover.”
Astarion had hurt you. He’d hurt you. The look that crossed your face as he confessed is etched into his mind for all eternity; it’s the first thing he sees when he wakes from a trance and the last thing he sees before he slips into one. He’ll never forget the tears that welled in your eyes, which you’d rapidly blinked away. And then you thanked him… thanked him for telling you, for being truthful. Thanked him for hurting you.
He should have lied. He shouldn’t have said anything. He should have chose differently from the start.
He knew what he did was terrible; you deserved something more, something real. He just couldn’t be that. He didn’t know how to be… real.
Hells, was he even real now? Was any of this real?
He felt like a shell. Hollow. Empty. It all felt like a sick, strange dream that he couldn’t wake from. All that time he spent running, and now he no longer had to… but who was he, if not a runner?
He’d run from Cazador. Run from you. Run from the concept of true intimacy, which you had so willingly offered.
But now? Now he wanted nothing more than to run to you. He wanted to run into your arms and be held by you, comforted by you. But there you were in the arms of someone who was able to give you what you deserved.
Who was he to get in the way of that? He was nothing. He was no one.
“Good to see you out of bed.”
The vampire rips his eyes away from you and Halsin, where the two of you seem oblivious to the world and stuck in a heated embrace.
Shadowheart is standing next to the booth; her eyes had followed his, and she’d been watching the same passionate makeout scene with mild interest.
She flicks her gaze back to Astarion with a knowing look, and a soft, sad smile crosses her face. The cleric extends her hand out to him, “Come on, Astarion. One dance and then I will let you slink back into this corner to sulk for the rest of the night, if you wish.”
He sighs and considers the offer. He doesn’t want to move, but he can’t keep picking different places to stay and rot. And he can’t keep watching you two. His limbs still feel like lead.
“Very well.” He murmurs, and he takes Shadowheart’s hand.
They dance. It’s a platonic sort of jig, mostly spinning around at arms length with one another. For a moment, Astarion feels a brief glimmer of happiness. He chuckles and smiles; his limbs don’t feel like lead. And then the tune ends, and he’s wandering back to the booth with Shadowheart, and that sinking feeling begins to grow in his chest once more.
“You should talk to them, you know, Astarion. Let them know how you feel. They may choose differently… if you make your true desires known. You did tell them you wanted to be friends, after all.” The cleric murmurs, with another sad little smile. Her eyes contain pity; he hates that.
He’s watching you and Halsin again, where you two are staring contentedly at one another, chatting away. You’re lost in your own little impenetrable bubble. You don’t even see him or notice him at all.
He’s nothing. He’s no one.
Astarion looks so dejected; normally he would be better at putting on his mask. But he’s so tired. He should be happy. But he’s exhausted.
“Maybe I should. But Tav looks happy… I can’t bring myself to ruin that. Selfish as I am, I do care about them, you know.”
Shadowheart nods and sighs. She knows something, he can tell by the look on her face. She wants to say more but decides against it. A small pat on the vampire’s hand and she murmurs, “Good night, Astarion. I hope to see you down here in the morning.”
Then she’s gone, heading upstairs to her room. And he’s alone again.
Astarion watches you two for a bit longer, even though every second he witnesses causes another crack in his fragile heart. Then his eyes return to the dance floor and he sighs before forcing himself out of the booth again. His limbs feel like lead, but he has to start somewhere.
For now, he’ll have to keep dancing on his own.
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This horny Friday I’ve been daydreaming of taking a two week or longer all inclusive cruise with a feeder determined to put as much weight as she can on me.
Each day would be a blur of food, booze, and sex as we both work together to blow me up. The clothes I brought with me would be tight already but by the end of the cruise they’re ready to burst at the seams. There wouldn’t be a moment where there isn’t food or a fruity high calorie drink in my hand. When it’s time to finally leave the ship and go home we’ll have to take it slow as I ponderously waddle down the ramp, the new weight we packed on me wobbling and jiggling from the movement. Of course we’d probably have to stop a few times at some fast food places on the way home, I’d be so stretched out from the weeks of gorging myself that it’d be a challenge to keep me satisfied 🐷
YES!!!!! this is like an ultimate fantasy of mine tbh and I wrote most of a whole fic about it. I think it’s so hot to just be let loose in an environment where there’s no holds barred.
Having an enabler too?? someone to just constantly bring you more and more even after you’re too full to get up and too buzzed to think straight. And I’d certainly enable you.
Room service every night to top off your gluttonous dinners at the buffet, taking you back to the room and stripping off your ever tightening shorts, your shirt buttons straining over your heavy belly. feeding you dessert and champagne in the in room hot tub, the warm water soothing the familiar ache in your gut from how much you’ve eaten. edging you all night while you finish everything for me, teasing you, squeezing, pressing my hands into your new fat, tracing angry new stretch marks….
and of course, there’s no better cure for a night of overindulgence than a big, greasy breakfast. you would forget what being hungry feels like, what even being comfortably full feels like.
if we didn’t have to buy you new clothes to even leave the boat, I would not have done my job properly.
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sydsaint · 7 months
Note
I would love to see another fic featuring the three cocky sexy boyfriends Austin Theory, Grayson Waller and La Knight.
My fav trio tbh
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The Smackdown GM gets some exciting news about a promotion as well as getting involved in another incident where she finds Waller, Theory, and Knight coming to her rescue.
The arena is buzzing with excitement for Smackdown's season premiere tonight. All of the big names have been scheduled to show up for the show, including your boss, Triple H. 
"Adam, will you stop pacing like that?" You ask Pearce from your desk as he paces endlessly around the room. "You're making me dizzy." 
"Sorry, Y/N." Pearce comes to a stop in front of your desk and fixes his unkempt tie. "How are you not nervous about tonight?" He asks you. "Hunter said in his email that he has an announcement that had to do with both of us." He reminds you. 
You shrug and tap your pen against your desk. "So? Why are you worried about it? Hunter didn't mention that it was anything bad did he?" You ask. "And as far as you and I know, we haven't done anything wrong. Have we?"
"No." Adam shakes his head. "But still,"
"Just relax, Pearce." You flash him an assuring smile. "I'm going to head down to the production truck to make sure they have everything ready for the show. You go ahead and get ready for Hunter, and I'll meet up with you later, okay?" You rise to your feet. 
Adam nods and walks back over to his desk. "Alright. But please don't be late to meet with Hunter." He asks you. 
"Mhm. Try not to have a heart attack while I'm gone, Pearce." You muse before walking out the door. 
You head down to the production truck and check to make sure that everything is in order for the night. On your way back to the office, you pass by the backstage interview setup and see Lexie interviewing Carlito and Bobby Lashley. You watch for a moment and are about to walk away when suddenly Montez and Angelo come up from behind the set and attack Carlito. 
"Shit!" You curse and hurry over to the set before any serious damage can be done. 
Lexie flies past you to get out of the way and you jump between Bobby wielding a chair and Carlito laid out on the floor. "Hey! Put it down!" You shout at Bobby, your hands held out in front of you. 
Lashley stops mid-swing and you flinch but stand your ground. He lowers the chair to his side and glares at you. But when you remain unmoved, he storms off with Montez and Angelo. 
"Someone get medical over here now!" You shout at a few bystanding stagehands. 
The medical staff arrived a few minutes later and help Carlito out. You take a moment to compose yourself and get ready to hurry back to the office before you're late. Zelina Vega and Bayley interrupt you arguing about what went down at Fastlane a week ago. 
"She got in the way and almost cost Iyo her title!" Bayley barks at you. 
"Well, she wasn't even supposed to be down there!" Zelina whines back. 
Frustrated, and knowing that you're about to be late, you glare at both women. "Enough!" You shout. "I want both of you out in the ring in ten minutes! You two can solve this little dispute out there." 
Bayley and Iyo both nod and head off for their match. With the dispute settled, you hurry back to the office before it's too late. 
When you arrive at the office, Pearce is standing by his desk and talking to LA Knight, Austin Theory, and Grayson Waller. Confused as to why Pearce would be talking with the three men that you're usually tasked with dealing with, you head over to them. 
"What are you three doing here?" You walk over to the group. "Pearce? What's going on?? You ask Adam. 
"Y/N!" Grayson and Austin turn around in unison when they hear your voice. 
Knight turns around as well and sets a tentative hand on your arm. "Y/N, sweetheart, are you alright?" He asks you. 
"Yeah, we heard that Bobby Lashley almost smashed you out with a chair," Austin adds. 
"What the hell happened out there?" Grayson asks you. 
You look at Pearce, realizing that the reason Knight, Waller, and Theory are in the office is because they came looking for you. "Lashley, Ford, and Dawkins attacked Carlito while he was doing his interview with Lexie." You explain. "I stepped in to ensure they didn't seriously hurt him, and Lashley had a chair in his hands." 
"That neanderthal didn't hit you with the chair, did he?" Knight asks you. 
"No, he stopped himself and put it down." You shake your head. 
Austin and Grayson share a look of relief and Knight nods. Pearce on the other hand, looks like he's about to come undone. "Right, I told you three that she was fine." Adam gestures to you. "Now can you three please leave?" He asks. 
"Now hold on a minute!" Knight shakes his head. "We ain't done here." 
"Yeah." Grayson agrees. "Bobby Lashley can't just go walking around unchecked after almost hurting Y/N like that." He insists. 
"Not while we're here." Austin agrees. 
You smile to yourself at the boy's protectiveness of you, but you know that Pearce is already stressed enough about tonight. You put a hand on Grayson and Austin's shoulders and usher the pair over to your desk with Knight at your side. 
"Alright you three, I appreciate the concern for me." You smile at the trio. "It's sweet you know you guys care enough to co-exist when it comes to me. But Pearce and I have an important meeting that's supposed to start any minute now. So will you three please head back to the locker room? For me?" You ask them. 
"Yeah, alright." Knight nods. "But this conversation ain't over, sweetheart." He assures you. 
Grayson and Austin nod in agreement. "Yeah, Lashley's going to get his." Austin huffs. 
"You just leave it to us, babe." Grayson nods. 
The trio finally leaves so you and Pearce are alone again. You lean on your desk and Pearce walks over to you. 
"Are you really alright?" Pearce asks you. 
"Yes, Adam, I'm fine." You assure him with a nod. "If I wasn't then I'm pretty sure that Bobby Lashley and the Street Profits would be in an ambulance by now." You joke with a laugh. 
Pearce flashes a hint of an amused smile. "Yes, those three do make quite the intimidating trio." He muses. "It's a pain in the ass. Sometimes I wish that I was just in charge of Raw, you know?" He asks you. "You're more than capable of handling Smackdown by yourself, Y/N. Especially with those three at your side." 
"What a coincidence." Hunter suddenly appears in the doorway. 
"Hunter!" Pearce snaps to attention. "I didn't hear you come in." 
You stop leaning on your desk and smile at Hunter as he shuts the door. "Hunter, it's good to see you." You shake his hand firmly. 
"It's always a pleasure to see you, Y/N." Hunter nods. "And you as well, Adam. The two of you have been doing phenomenal work on both Raw and Smackdown." He adds. 
"Thank you, sir." You nod, and Pearce does the same. 
Hunter sits down behind your desk and Pearce pulls a chair out so the two of you can sit from across from him. "As I'm sure the two of you know, Survivor Series is coming up as our next paid live event." He reminds you. "Well, I've made the decision to bring back the brands war to boost our ratings for the end of the year. So, I'm splitting the two of you up. One for Raw, one for Smackdown. And I'm doing you the further courtesy of letting you choose." He explains. 
You and Pearce share a look. It's like all of your prayers are being answered. You both turn back to Hunter and you smile at him. "I think I'll stay here on Smackdown, if that's okay with you, Pearce?" You look at him with a joking smile. 
"That's fine with me." Pearce nods with a knowing smile. 
"Perfect!" Hunter claps his hands together happily. "I look forward to seeing the two of you work to make some friendly competition." He shakes both your hands again before making his exit from the office. 
Pearce laughs when Hunter is gone and you can't help but smile while you text your group chat with Knight, Waller, and Theory about the exciting news. You also mean to check up on them to see what revenge plan they've managed to come up with. 
"Good luck on Raw, Pearce." You smile at him. 
"And good luck to you as well, Y/N." Pearce agrees. "You and your harem of boyfriends." He jokes. 
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daisynik7 · 4 months
Note
hello beloved!! I come bearing gifts as part of 🎅🏻secret santa🎅🏻 and am here to reveal my secret and bestow some fluffy christmassy hcs of the one and only.....father nanamin
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huffs and puffs about the Christmas build up getting earlier each year, but you notice that every year, without fail, the corner of his mouth twitches as if to smile when he hears the first chime of Mariah carey
takes gift giving very seriously. is dangerously against the concept of the "gift set" found in so many stores, & thinks all gifts should be thoughtful and unique
as such, he's also very difficult to buy for. insists every year that you needn't get him anything but...c'mon man
expert gift wrapper. I'm talking bows & colour coordinated paper. you catch him watching instagram reels of people wrapping their gifts one night & it's one of the only times you've seen him blush
THE chef on Christmas Day. up at the crack of dawn prepping the turkey, stuffing, making his own cranberry sauce, making the most boujee brussels sprouts the world has ever SEEN. people fight for an invite to the kento household at Christmas tbh
has all shopping done and all presents wrapped no later than 2 weeks before the big day. no exceptions. puts everyone to absolute shame
makes you feel so soft when you walk through the Christmas market with him, arms linked as you slowly peruse the stalls and smell the mulled wine drifting between you. you glance up and see his brows have relaxed & he looks truly at peace as he soaks in the buzz & excitement. always complains about people & crowds but nothing deters him from doing this with you every year. anyway it's also an excuse for him to complain about the quality of the mulled wine on offer despite buying one from every single stand
I hope u enjoy this little gift!! 🎄 mwah love muvva claus 🎄
hello muvva claus this is the best secret santa gift to grace my inbox!!!!! 😭😭😭 all of these christmas hcs of father nanamim are so spot on, I love it so so much! he acts like such a grinch but loves EVERYTHING about the holidays, he's not fooling anyone! 🥹
ahhh this is so so cute, thank you so much, so grateful and appreciative of you for leaving such a treasure in my inbox. the happiest of holidays to you and all your loved ones around you, thank you for spreading joy and cheer wherever you go ♥️
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plexiglasscoffin · 2 months
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a week later and I'm still sick as fuck. went to work yesterday and had to leave after an hour because standing for too long made me dizzy like tunnel vision and extremities fall asleep dizzy. you know when you hyperventilate while crying and your teeth start buzzing like when you sit on your foot for too long? anyway what the fuck. lungs are still full of congestion too. Obviously it's just a respiratory virus but I can't afford to miss this much work. and tbh I'm a little sad an lonely about it too. I thought I'd get a lot of art stuff done with this downtime but all I want to do is sleep.
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bigjumpervibes · 2 years
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999 Week 2022: Ace
“At one point, he risks his own life to try to save the others. I’m sure if you follow him, there will be no problems” - Kotaro Uchikoshi
Happy 999 week 🎉
I recently got into the zero escape games (I'm part way through VLR and totally spoiled myself as per usual orz) and I really wanted to join this 'week' event for as much as I can ✨
9 hours 9 persons 9 doors really surprised me with how good it was and how much I loved all the characters (tbh I shouldn't be too surprised I got attached to them as I always end up clinging to a good death game's cast). I can't wait to finish / play the other games in the series 🍀
Ace Appreciation:
Ace is just such a character, when I saw him I fell into the stereotype he's presented as, selfless old man who is lawful good. After my first play through (axe ending) I started to get suspicious of everyone and then started to think deeper about his character - I didn't expect just how involved his character would be.
Though I think his true reasoning for doing everything could be done a bit better I still think it was an interesting twist and I liked that the team kept him alive and bundled him in the trunk - That's so Scooby Doo Mystery Machine Team of them.
For this drawing I wanted him to look culty based on Uchikoshi's quote, I know in my first playthrough definitely I would have followed him to 'the end' (and perhaps the second because I am gullible as hell). Also I seem to have chose this week's prompts as a chance to practice my hand drawings.
Anyway!
I'm buzzed to do the rest of the week but I'm doing it as it's happening so I might end up running behind :') I have a schedule to try and follow.
Looking forward to seeing all the stuff this week 🎊
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soursturniolo · 6 months
Note
hi! I really want to write this fic I have an idea for but it involves the reader being drunk/tipsy. I’m a minor and have never really done any of that stuff, so I have no experience to help me write it. You’re an older fan so I’m assuming you’ve maybe drank or smoked and I was wondering if you could share experience or give some pointers?? I’d love u foreverrrr
Hi friend! Yes I can for sure do that to help you out. But first, our favorite, ✨disclaimers✨
1. I don’t condone underage drinking or smoking. Don’t let people pressure you into that shit. Don’t feel like you have to do that stuff to “fit in” or “be cool”. You can have just as much fun at a party or event sober as you can under the influence. And speaking from experience, I mean that wholeheartedly. Just last week I was the DD at a get together and I had just as much fun as my bestie who drank a margarita the size of her head.
2. People all have different experiences to substances, so I can only tell you of my personal experiences and some that I’ve witnessed.
3. Of age, or not if you choose because it’s your life and your choice at the end of the day, if you choose to drink or do other things, please be safe. Know for certain what you’re putting in your body. Be in a safe place with safe individuals you trust. If things go south, even if it means getting in trouble, get help. You’d rather be in a bit of trouble but alive, than in danger.
4. If you’re prescribed meds by a doctor, consider talking to them about what you take and how it interacts with things!! Some meds and alcohol don’t mix well.
OKAY so now that responsible adult Kay has given their spiel of advice and disclaimers, some notes about my experience….
In regards to being tipsy/drunk
- being drunk doesn’t make me, or most people in my experience, into totally different people. Some people get sleepy, some get relaxed, some get really giggly and funny, some get loud, some get quiet, some people are easily irritated, it really just depends I guess?
- being drunk doesn’t get rid of your moral compass. sure, it may make you a bit more carefree and willing to do or say things sober you would probably think twice about. BUT, I’m still me, I’m still in control, I can still make my own choices, I still know what I’m okay with and not okay with, yknow what I mean?
- people have different tolerances to alcohol. experience and your body (metabolism, weight, ect.) play into this. For example, as a nearly 24 year old who has been drinking on occasion for the past 4ish years, my tolerance is decent. It takes me about 6 shots of stronger stuff for me to really feel buzzed. And for me, beers have never done anything for me, so I stick to liquor and I know others who are the same. But, I also know some people who have been drinking much longer than me and they’re basically stumbling around after smelling a bottle cap, so… it all depends really
- hangovers are a thing I only experienced once, on my 22nd birthday after REALLY overdoing it. I just overall felt really gross the next day. I had a nasty headache and was nauseous for hours the next day. That’s my only experience with that. Something I have noticed is that it seems like most younger people don’t really struggle with hangovers unless they REALLY overdo it. As you get older, it becomes more common it seems.
About being high (weed only- that’s my only experience, I’ve never done anything else nor do I want to)
- so with this, I’ve only ever smoked a handful of times, as it’s not something I really enjoy doing, so I don’t have as much to tell you tbh, but I’ll tell you what I can.
- it was just really relaxing? Like my anxiety was nonexistent when I was high fr.
- i got really hungry about an hour after.
- it made my mouth EXTREMELY dry, which was not enjoyable
Hope this helps with your fic, bestie!!
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trashlie · 10 months
Note
hey this is lil anon 💗 i'm gonna send u another ask soon re: your recent reply, but my one lil brain cell just produced an idea and i'm just buzzing like stupid so i have to share it with you. i've been reading through your other asks and the dream kiss and the overlapping thought bubbles... and...
what if. WHAT IF. what if they have the same dream. LIKE LISTEN DGHFGDSHJK i know it's cheesy but a dream kiss in itself is already kinda cheesy tbh so why not go all the way??? we know nol's barely holding himself back he wants to kiss her so badly, the boy is gonna be dreaming some stuff no doubt about that. and they're already so connected via soulmateism so why not overlap it?? the opportunity is basically presenting itself on a silver platter !! and then they both wake up because it was too overwhelming and made their hearts beat too quickly and as the reality sets in they're just left with that emptiness because it felt so good so right but it wasn't real. argh.
ok talk to u later i need to go touch some fucking grass i think. - lil anon 😼
Oh mY GOD LIL ANON okay okay god I need you to know
I've had a terrible week and it's only half done, I've got some yucky real world/house news issues that just TANKED everything. I even woke up late for work by AN HOUR?! But I read this message RIGHT after I had my one on one with my manager and this has been the hightlight of my DAY I scurried up the walls and started howling from the rafters and then showed this message to my friends because I now, too, have this concept in my head AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M SUPPOSED TO GO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
LIKE LOOK you are right okay. It's cheesy but like... we might as well go ALL IN right? Cheesy isn't inherently bad, and if you embrace it? KLAFKAFJJ WHEW!!!!! I had not even CONSIDERED the same dream, separated only by the space between them afljkafkjafkjjfa SHRIEKS a shared dream that illuminates the shared desired between them, one unaware and the other all too aware. That they are always on the same page, even if they don't know it!!!!!!!!
Because as much as Nol seems aware of her feelings what if he's wrong? What if he's Dieter, hope being sparked over and over by Shinae being relentlessly herself. What if everything he thinks he's interpreted about her and her inability to hold his gaze and the way she flusters and how she keeps dramatically confessing love for him without using the word and her dogged persistence to not let him get away isn't at all what he thinks and it really all is platonic?
They're on the same page, these feelings just overflowing AND THEY DON'T EVEN REALLY KNOW IT. She has no idea, he can't be for sure!
For Shinae, who needs that sort of wake up call to something that she feels so strongly but can't identify, it would be the perfect shock because the moment it comes to her, she can deny all she wants but it won't work. She can try and try but in the end she will see it for what it is. See the way he affects her through a new lens, understand better what it meant to be so hurt by him and to feel not even anger but just desperation and sadness. Of course it could only be love, that makes her feel so sad and ache when she thinks she should be angry. Of course it could only be love, that brings her back to him over and over, so certain she'll get through to him.
AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.
And for Nol, of course, a sweet sweet taste of pathetic man torture (ynow. for us). Because the moment he asked her to dance I think he was already resolute in his feelings - that he cannot pretend to not know what he does. If he had any intentions of that, he'd have played along and let Shinae believe it's all platonic it means nothing there's nothing, but he didn't because he doesn't want to hide it, he doesn't want to deny or ignore it. But he still has those instincts to pull away and run away. He still hurt her when he couldn't show himself to her. But I think to wake up to that emptiness, to get that TASTE and wake up to a reality where it's not real it didn't happen would emphasize how important it is to stop pushing her away. Because if that's what he wants, he will need to learn to try to open up, to show those parts of himself.
So much of what stops him is the fear. It's not just that he thinks bad things will happen to people, though that's true. It's what he thinks of himself and how he thinks they'll see him and I think, maybe, there's something about an admission of feelings that can make it less scary. That I know this is difficult, I know you don't like this part of you, but I like all of you, I love every bit of you, so you can trust yourself with me.
FLKAJFJKAFKJAFJ GOD TELL ME THAT'S NOT PEAK ROMANCE, LIL ANON!!!! TO BE LOVED, AS YOU ARE, FOR WHO YOU ARE, AND TO BE CHANGED BY THAT IMPRINT. ALFKAFJKAFJ GODDDDDDD
I want him to wake up SO pathetic, so full of regrets and want and yes, I'll accept the guilt because that will illuminate just how strong he feels what he does, that he knows he has hurt someone he cares about but also feelings cannot be helped and he never stood a chance, really. I am doing a light re-read - yknow, as one does every few months lmao - and just the ways that Shinae and Nol respond to each other so early in, so responsive to but unaware of that easy chemistry with each other, Nol in that phase where it was all supposed to be fake but it wasn't and he was getting so caught up in it and even though he was supposed to be playing cupid, so much of it was for himself, indulging in the opportunities.
I want him to wake up to that emptiness determined to not run away because some things are worse facing what scares you. There are people you don't throw away, you don't let go of ;A;
And I need to watch Shinae go through the stages of realization - the denial and refusal, the sheer horror and embarrassment lmao, the disgust of emotions and how did I get here how did this HAPPEN, but the aching hole in her heart of now knowing something she wants that she couldn't see before but now that she has how could she ever look away how did she never notice it when it's so big and shiny when it draws all the attention to it.
She has confessed to this man like three separate times on different occasions to different people. She knows there's something more to why he's upset but she DOESN'T SEE THE NEON SIGN FLASHING OVER HER HEAD THAT SAYS MORE
GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
I, too, should go out and touch some fucking grass but it's been storming all day ;A;
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artificialqueens · 1 year
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Rock Hudson’s Parties, Chapter 2 (Jadore/Biadore) - Imafuckinglibra
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Summary: A fresh faced young man gets off a bus in New York to move in with an estranged college friend, now a broadway star. Old flames flare up again but are potentially derailed when an older man’s temptations threaten to come between them.
Fair Warning : There is actually smut in this one yay! Including a little illustration to go with it but tbh it's pretty sfw - no bits or anything.  Brief mentions of death & that's about it me thinks.
A week. A whole week Danny had been in New York already and he still hadn’t adjusted. He still didn’t feel any more in control of his life than he did in Azusa.
“Dammit.” He winced when his razor nicked a bit of skin below his lip. He stared at it, watching where the tiny bubble of blood came up.
Right below where he felt Roy’s lips brush past before he walked off into the night. As if absolutely nothing had happened.
‘Nothing did happen. If you don’t think about him he doesn’t exist,’ he scolded himself. Repeating the same mantra he did every time he walked past Roy’s apartment building as if he was the boogeyman. ‘Focus.’
He drew his attention back to his reflection in the mirror. What he thought was his reflection at least.
He looked somewhat unrecognizable to himself. He couldn’t pinpoint what it was, but it reminded him of a saying his mother used to throw around.
‘I can't put my finger on it, but if I could - I’d have to wash my hands!’
Maybe it was just nerves, some lingering stress from being the new kid on the block at work that made him uneasy. The alienation he felt was palpable. Between you and me though, it was most likely the fact that it was Monday morning before the sun had even come up and his head was still buzzing from the ‘quick’ cocktail party he’d attended with Jinkx the previous night. Was it the previous night?
He swore they left the apartment on Saturday night, yet he didn’t remember coming home till just a few hours ago, when he fell into his bed at long last. Drowning happily in a flurry of warm blankets and Jinkx's limbs sprawled over him where she had passed out, too drunk and too lazy to go find her own bedroom.
He settled on the pang in his stomach and his throbbing head being the cause of the discomfort he felt, and made his way to the kitchen for relief.
Coffee, that’s what would fix him. Coffee and the absolutely glorious spread of greasy breakfast foods Jinkx had made - bacon, sausages, eggs - butter smothered on everything, even the poor pan-seared potatoes Jinkx placed next to him as she sat down finally.
“You know,” Jinkx lulled, twirling a loose strand of hair from Danny’s forehead between her fingers. Unraveling all the hard work he’d done to finesse his unruly hair flat despite him swatting at her hand, “Shangie might’ve been right the other night. You’d make a gorgeous girl. Absolutely adorable.”
“Yeah? You think?” Danny gulped. “What does that mean? Is it something I do or, or how I sit?”
He slurped down another gulp of orange juice, the only unbuttered item on the menu. Not that he’d put it past Jinkx to experiment with that type of thing.
Although she was a great cook, every now and then she’d slip something in that she whipped up all by herself without the help of ladies’ magazines or cookbooks.
He wasn’t much better though. Outside the usual toast or bowl of cereal he made himself, he never had gotten the hang of cooking.
Not for lack of trying. His first morning there he had tried earning his keep by assisting with breakfast, assuming Jinkx would be far too sloshed to be any good, but she had very quickly put him in his place. She reminded him that as the lady of the house, she’d be taking up the housework and meal preparation before going to rehearsals; all he had to do was bring home a (not fat but at least plump) paycheck.
And maybe screw her brains out when she so politely asked him of course, like a proper friend should.
“Of course not, dear. It’s perfectly natural to want to play in girls’ clothes once in a while, didn’t Fred Mertz even dress up for an episode of I Love Lucy about some club thing?”
“That was different.” He scrunched his top lip. “And I’ll have you know it was the Ricky Asks For a Raise episode and they ALL dressed up.”
She shook her head, unamused. “You watch too much television; it’s gonna rot your brain one of these days.”
“It’s gonna rot your mep mep mep,” Danny sarcastically mimicked her disapproval with his hand, making her laugh as he did most mornings.
“You suuuuuure you never dabbled? Never played in your mother’s makeup or put on her shoes? Not even a brassiere?” she kept teasing, "You've always had such a fondness for breasts, I assumed you'd have some complex, dear.”
“No. Never.” Danny laughed uncomfortably, blushing at the implication. “I told you my father would’ve, well. I mean, he was in both wars, you know those guys. They can’t help it, different generations.”
He didn’t really want to think of his father too much. He didn’t openly hate him or anything, he was just sort of scared of him. He’d have violent fits of rage if the coffee had been burnt, if Danny flunked a test or even if a dog barked too loud.
It’s difficult for a child to bond with a man like that, or any parent for that matter, always tip-toeing around any small confrontation where even praise could be taken negatively. Suspicious you were out to get him at every word.
His brothers weren’t like that though. They were kind and gentle souls, till enlistment day. When a naïve 9 year old Danny watched them all join the service, dutifully joining their father fighting in the Pacific.
Don’t get me wrong, he admired them, idolized them for their bravery and their ability to come back and still see the good in humanity. However, he envied them. He’d never dare say it out loud though, especially considering how one of them, Charlie, never made it back.
Still, he saw the way they got a pat on the shoulder from every neighbor when they came home, or the praise and attention he’d always longed for from their parents - he couldn’t help but feel jealous.
Fine. Maybe there were some issues there, but he’d deal with them his own way. ‘Eventually,’ he lied to himself, like we all do.
He’d gotten so lost in his thoughts, he hadn’t even noticed at first how Jinkx’s eyes had glazed over. As if she was still there, just perhaps not as present. Even so, she kept her chipper smile, taking a big bite of runny eggs on toast.
“You know? Uh, the way those military men are?” he repeated.  
She snorted, “That I do.”
“Say here. How is your family? Folks doing alright?” he asked, trying to make polite conversation rather than openly intrude. “I can only imagine how excited your mother must be to have a daughter.”
“Yeah…”
“Must have been strange for you, I’m sure to, to…am I stepping on some toes?”
“Oh heavens no, I just haven’t talked about it in ages. I wasn’t ready yet.” She shook her ginger hair to lay perfectly against her shoulders, sat up straight with her hands folded in front of her, and smiled her best attempt at a pageant smile. “Go ahead, ask me again.”
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Danny quickly swept his hair flat with his palms and mimicked her straight back demeanor, going at it again but this time as if he was asking a colleague about the weekend. “Okay. How is your family, dear?”
“I don’t know.” Her eyes flicked around aimlessly before back at him. Probably trying to avoid thinking too hard. “I haven’t spoken to them in over 4 years.”
Uh oh, she was curt.
“Oh. I just always assumed your mother would be understanding.”
He wasn’t quite sure if he should keep pressing the issue, but Jinkx was casually eating her breakfast with the same vigor and gleeful energy as she had before the conversation shifted, so he assumed she was okay with it. Besides, he’d known her long enough. At least, when he used to know her ‘before Jinkx,’ he’d known her well enough that she’d never hide anything from him.
Could it really be that maybe he missed something? Maybe she was struggling all those years he’d pushed her away and he never saw past himself to reach out. He assumed she’d be strong enough to handle anything without him, it never even occurred to him to stop and just ask. Just check in at least once.
“She was.”
Without missing a beat, she stood up to put the tin coffee pot on the stove and flick the burners on.
“I sent my parents a letter and a photograph, of me, obviously. You know. I explained everything. My mother called me first. She told me that she didn’t quite understand it yet but that she loved me regardless.”
Danny studied her face, on the edge of his seat as her eyes hinted at a tearful glimmer. Her face turned back to stone before he could even register it happening.
“Later that night my father called me. He’d shot her dead.”
Danny’s heart sank. He instinctively reached for his shirt buttons, fiddling with them, twisting them - anything he could do to keep himself distracted from processing the horror of it just yet.
She swallowed, then went on. “And, he was planning on shooting himself too because he couldn’t get to me. One of us had to go, he said, but they arrested him before he had the nerve to go through with it. Worthless coward. Coffee?”
“How-“ He knew she wouldn’t want sympathy or a show of weakness, at least the old Jinkx wouldn’t, so instead he followed her lead and swallowed his pity. “Absolutely, I’d love some.”
The room had stalled quiet after her revelation, except for the noise of water bubbling in the pot, the traffic outside the window gearing up as people left their home to start the day, and a gentle hum from the neighbor’s radio.
Danny watched Jinkx prepare another cup of coffee for each of them, wondering what was going through her head as she tapped her long beige claws rhythmically against the countertop. Like she was tapping herself a little beat.
He felt a very heavy knot of guilt in the pit of his stomach. Like he should’ve known better, not just about inquiring so much but about the way he abandoned her for so many years after college. Never even a letter or anything.
As usual, someone else had to make the move for him before he’d finally pull himself together. He knew which letter she was referring to; he’d gotten a similar one 2 and a half years after ‘she’ dropped out of college.
He didn’t recognize the name on the envelope at first, but he knew the handwriting anywhere, he’d spent enough time studying it while copying notes she’d taken in their shared classes.
He understood what her mother meant; he didn’t understand it either. He couldn’t process it for weeks, couldn’t decide what to do. He’d spend hours and hours after class just staring at her photo.
All he could remember thinking was, ‘Look at how happy she is.’
One day, he got brave enough to call her like she’d asked, and it was amazing. It was like he’d blinked and she’d blossomed, not just the noticeable things. Her laugh - even her energy seemed happier, vibrant and alive.
It didn’t feel like talking to his college roommate, it felt like a whole new person. Never putting the two of them together in his mind, maybe he didn’t want to, maybe he wanted to keep them separated just enough he wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences of his feelings.
Maybe he just wanted to enjoy having her and what she brought into his life as a ‘new’ friend. Including the butterflies you get seeing them laugh for the first time. The little smile you get thinking back on a joke they’d told you just knew would become a lifelong memory.
Even learning new details about her he never knew before - she liked white chocolates more than milk, she liked red wine more than white, she preferred coffee over tea but only on rehearsal days, she liked when your hand would caress the back of her neck but not her thigh.
Fine, yes. He may have explored more than just her mind after so many outings together, where they’d met in San Francisco one night. He couldn’t tell you how it happened the first time, and to be honest neither could I.
These things never have a beginning, it’s the way it goes when two friends finally get brave enough to acknowledge what they’ve both been feeling.
‘Besides,’ Danny had told himself. ‘I’ve done it with girlfriends in the past, she’s a girl and my friend. Why not? Would this really be that different?’
‘Oh god.’ He realized he had spiraled down a tangent. The knot in his stomach turning tighter as it hit him that never once during their letters, calls, dates, what have you - never once did he ask her about her parents.  
They’d never discussed their families much before so it never hit him till now that she was unusually vague about them. He assumed that well, so was he during that time so what gave him the right to push her on the matter.
‘Dammit.’
“Say, I…I really am so sorry, I didn’t mean -“
“Oh no. I’m fine, mean it.” She dropped herself back into her seat and resumed eating some bacon. “See, people complain about how the poor dear family must weep for losing their son or daughter. Why must they suffer so having lost ONE family member? Nobody stops to think maybe the son or daughter has to grieve too, not just for themselves but, but for their family. Even the supportive ones.”
Danny found himself remembering a very different Jinkx, who’d made a very similarly grand speech to keep themselves from crying in school when they’d been caught cheating on a math test.
‘Why must we quarrel so over x = y or 2 + 2 doesn’t equal 3 when there are STILL children in this country starved. Not just for food, neigh, for nourishment of the mind, of the heart and soul. Not…algebra. After all, time goes by…so slowly…'
It made him happy thinking of those days, right when they’d met as college freshmen, and more importantly, before Jinkx dropped out to move away and change her life, leaving him behind. Back when it was just them, best friends daydreaming together in their own world.
“For what it’s worth,” he finally began, breaking the awkward sounds of a lonely knife and fork sliding over the plate. “I am very, very grateful I didn’t lose you.”
He stared up from his own plate to see Jinkx watching in shock at the sudden display of affection. The corners of her mouth twisting into a sincere smile, her brow furrowing as if she was holding back too many emotions to think about right now. And just as suddenly as you could say blink, she was back to herself.
“Thank you, dear. Now finish up; the bus won’t wait for you and if you miss another day what will they think?”
“You’re right.” He beamed, happy to see the color return to her cheeks.
He downed the last quick cup of coffee she made, despite the stinging burn it caused down his throat, and reached for the coat and hat combo that she’d purchased for him, so he’d look more professional. He foraged around some bills and newspaper clippings she’d left on the small desk by the door, trying to locate the briefcase he’d forgotten there on Friday.
“Does it bother you?”
“You kiddin’, not at all. I like reading your reviews between breaks. It gives me something to look forward to in meetings. Makes me feel like Lucy Ricardo if I’m honest with you.”
“Daniel,” she spoke seriously. Halting his movements with a firm grip on his wrist so he’d look at her while she stayed seated in the old, painted blue dining chair. “Does it bother you? Me?”
“Oh.” He finally caught on. “Why no. Why would it?”
“It’s just that since you’ve gotten here, every time we fuck...You seem…distant. I know we’re not exactly going steady or anything, but I’d like it if you were a little more attentive once in a while when you made love to me. Properly.”
“You mean…” Danny inhaled hard, fixing his tie.
He couldn’t particularly say why this bothered him so much, but suddenly this talk felt like something he shouldn’t be a part of. It terrified the shit out of him. Maybe he’d made a romantic gesture that he’d missed sooner.
“I mean, if you’re so unbothered, would you mind looking at me, or touching me, or kissing me? Not that I don’t enjoy getting straight to it. Maybe we could just…try it?“
“Oh.” He nodded, considering her sincere words. Not just thinking about them but really, really taking in what she was asking of him. Intimacy. A connection, anything. Not a proposal, just some comfort. It certainly wasn’t unreasonable; it was realistic.
She eventually dropped her head and her hand, clearly fed up with him taking so long to answer. “You’re right. Forget what I said, old friend.”
Shit. The last time Jinkx made an effort towards a deeper connection, he chickened out. He didn’t want to make the same mistake, he had to be more reasonable now.
“Dollface," he tried salvaging the situation, dropping to his knees in front of her so he could look at her face. “What time does your rehearsal end tonight, huh? I’ll try to pick you up and we’ll go out, make a night of it. Nice place to eat, maybe dance a little and then we can come home and, and I’ll - I’ll do whatever makes you happy? Okay?”
Jinkx’s frown began twitching back into a smile without her intending to, unable to keep a straight face at the big hazel eyes staring up at her with such empty promises and well intentions.
“Sure. I’ll call you at work.” She rolled her eyes. “Now go before you miss the bus.”
“Swell.” He jumped up, planting a big wet kiss on her forehead before he rushed out the front door and down the hall to the elevator.
He was sure she’d see through his façade, but he’d managed to pull it off and keep his cool under the pressure. Once he got on his bus though, he couldn’t help but drop his head in his hands as that knot of guilt dug itself deeper into his soul. His miserable, pathetic, black soul, he punished himself.
Thinking about her parents, which made him think about his own dead brother. Thinking about Jinkx and how she must’ve felt. Reaching out for the one thing we all want, a connection. It wasn’t all lies though—he did love Jinkx, but merely as a friend. Maybe. He couldn’t tell anymore.
Sure it’s swell having someone looking after you, cooking and cleaning for you, sucking your dick for you. Once or twice, they’d even come home drunk from the club together and he’d fucked her, which was enjoyable, make no mistake. Something had changed since their stolen moments together before moving to New York, and he couldn’t quite get his heart or his head to be as eager about it anymore.
He blamed Courtney and the Pink Flamingo Club. And Roy. And Morgan that…stupid emcee with the big muscles and even bigger breasts who’d walk around in slacks one night and a skirt the next. And Raja with their deep voice, short, fringed dresses and non-existent breasts that still somehow aroused him.
‘I’ll be damned, she's right, I do have a complex,” he groaned internally.
“Penny for your thoughts?” He heard a, strangely familiar, rough voice next to him.
“No. I’m scum, and I’m broke. I’m broke scum,” he whined, rubbing his eyes furiously with the back of his knuckles before he sat up. His mother would scold him for talking to strangers like this if she could but so be it, he deserved it.
“I’ve seen scummier,” Roy cackled from his chest next to him, clearly amused by his childishness. Wait, Roy?
“Roy!” he recognized, face draining white in a panic. “Oh...Roy. I- I-“ He began to stutter, his breathing picking up.
Roy darted his eyes around to see if the people around them had noticed, then quickly leaned in, pretending to lift his coat tail out from under him as he whispered, “Shh, it’s fine. Not here.”
Danny knew what he meant. Not in public, not this open. This wasn’t the time to regret curious questions in a bar or a kiss with a man you don’t even know past a first name.
He took Roy’s lead and turned it around, grabbing his hand with both of his for a vigorous, masculine shake. “Good t-to see you again, chum, how’s the mi- I mean how’s it going?”
He could tell despite the stern expression at first Roy was hiding a small smile behind it. The dimples in his cheeks noticeably deepening when their hands touched. 
A touch Danny dropped as soon as possible, unsure how long was the appropriate time for acting natural and cool.
‘Shit. Has he been waiting for me? Is he mad? Should I say something?’
His panic began bubbling to the surface again. His hands reaching up to nervously fix his tie, his collar, fiddle with the buttons on his shirt - anything.
“I started a new job,” he blurted out, “at the bank.”
Roy nodded along with him, clearly unsure of where this was going at first too. “And you’ve been too busy to call or stop by the bar at the club or…walk down the street and wave at me?”
“Yeah.” He smiled his best ‘get out of jail’ grin. “Something like that.”
“Meaning, you and I are okay then?”
“Yes?” Danny swallowed. Unsure what he meant by ‘okay’ but he didn’t want to risk pushing the issue any further and explaining why he couldn’t wave to him or dare see him at the club.
His very presence haunting his sober brain with images of their inebriated kiss replaying in his mind over and over.
Roy coughed, maybe not so subtly, to get his attention back from his momentary daydreaming. Smoothing his thick black hair under his hat. “Now, it’s not the ‘bank’ getting you down, is it?”
Danny shook his head no.
“Then what’s got you so blue?”
“Girl troubles, roommate troubles. Both I suppose.”
Roy leaned back in his seat, nostrils flared, scraping some lint from his pants. “I see. I didn’t realize you and Jinkx were going steady.”
“No, we’re not. I don’t think we are. I mean, I - see, why do women have to be so damn complicated!” he huffed, crossing his arms like a rotten child. “You know a girl over eight years, she insists that all she wants is to stay your friend. Promises you nothing will come out of it and then bam!” He smacked his hands together. ”Suddenly she wants flowers and dinners and rings.” Hyperbole of course, but Roy didn’t know that.
“Sounds like you need a drink,” he tried sympathetically suggesting. Drumming his fingers on his knee while he waited for Danny to deny his request, but when neither could think of a good reason not to they settled it.
Roy stood up and pulled on the lever, asking the driver to stop the bus, directing Danny to come with him.
Danny was a bit hesitant about missing another day of work, but Roy reasoned with him that as long as he called them from the phone both outside the club and claimed he had a terrible cold, what could they do? It’s not like all of New York would come to a standstill because one bank teller had to miss a day’s work.
Besides, it was easy, he realized, mimicking Roy’s speech to his own employer, the same woeful little cough and clogged nose bit that a school boy would try with their mother.
“I thought you made costumes for movies?” Danny asked, confused when they finally made their way inside a depressing little dive bar tucked between two restaurants.
Roy hadn’t called a company or studio like he anticipated; he called the owner of the Pink Flamingo Club, pathetically promising to work every opening and closing shift for the rest of the week.
“That’s just Jinkx being facetious. Most of the time, I work behind the bar at the Pink Flamingo. A friend of mine who works in pictures calls me up to do jobs when something comes up that’s up my alley. Then I go back to the bar, so I can earn enough to last me till the next picture, rent a new closet to live in and sling drinks to keep from being broke. Or bored to death in some godforsaken office job.”
“Wow.” Danny gasped, amazed either way by how much more impressive his job description sounded than his own. As if every job didn’t sound more impressive than his own. “You’re like a superhero with a double life.”
Roy’s face completely broke at the seriousness in his compliment, making Danny click just how absurd what he said sounded. It was nice though, seeing him so happy, it made you feel at ease with the lightheartedness.
“I’m no Clark Kent, kid.” He kept cackling loudly even when the bartender slid their drinks over. “I just like to work while I can, you know. And be grateful for it.”
“I guess…” he sighed.
The shift in his attitude must’ve been a lot more noticeable than he believed as suddenly Roy’s tone softened. Guiding him to go sit in the back corner of the bar where they were hidden in the shadows, free to discuss all his woes with their 8am liquor.
First, he was a bit reluctant to share, so he asked Roy some questions about his own life, and where he came from. Roy told him about immigrating from Cuba, to which Danny had to bite his tongue to stop himself from asking like Desi.
However, Roy obviously either got that question regularly, or knew Danny well enough at that point, and acknowledged it before he could with a snippy, “Not like Desi. We were poor and Papi didn’t own half the fucking country…but I do like their rum.”
He talked about the few movies he’d worked on, talked about the actresses and actors he got to meet that made Danny swoon. He even mentioned how he'd been a veteran of the war, stationed in France during the invasion and then Australia - Danny made a note to ask him if he knew Courtney's elusive serviceman at a later date.
Eventually, as Danny grew more comfortable, it was more give than take. He began rattling off every single life event since his first day in kindergarten, when a little boy kicked sand onto his apple, but Roy listened and gave his input on everything. Praising his honesty, encouraging him to open up more.
He’d reached a boiling point he didn’t know he had and once he let it all out, he let it ALL out. For hours, he nursed the same 2 Irish coffees, too busy talking to even take a drink anyway. It was remarkable, the conversation flowing between them as freely and naturally as lifelong friends.
He told Roy about how he rushed home the day his father and brothers returned from war, how excited he was to finally tell them about everything they’d missed, how he wanted to hug them, kiss them - anything. Something he assumed Roy’s own loved ones must have been feeling.
Instead all they did that day was plan Charlie’s funeral. All the things he wanted to share about his budding adolescent firsts seemed so small and inconsequential as he watched his mother stoically browse through caskets.
“How did they find him?” Roy asked solemnly, his warm hand hovering over Danny’s knuckles hidden beneath the table, soothing him softly, carefully.
Danny took a sip from the dismal remains of his coffee, pulling a face at the bitter bland taste before he acknowledged the question. The fact that Roy wasn’t just listening but openly and patiently inquiring into what he was saying finally gave him the courage to say the words out loud.
“He managed to make it through 3 years of fighting in the Pacific, just to crash the truck he was driving back to the base. Isn’t that just like life sometimes?” He chuckled halfheartedly to keep his voice from breaking. He couldn’t help himself from clutching at the hand still holding his, desperate for a bit of human warmth. His eyes locking with Roy’s. “Just when you think you’re gonna be okay, something knocks you down.”
Maybe it was the poor ventilation in the bar, or the alcohol he’d sipped on without eating anything besides breakfast that day, but suddenly Danny felt his head go dizzy. Everything around him was almost standing still in a fog as he watched Roy’s lips.
Pondering how he got to this moment in his life, where the only thing he wanted was for him to kiss it all better.
“I’m very sorry for your loss.” Roy broke the silence, making Danny quickly fall back into his seat, frantically rubbing his face and smoothing out his hair as if he’d just woken up from a bad dream.
“What time is it?” He flailed around, looking for the watch he’d forgotten to put on this morning when he spotted a familiar blond man standing in front of the club at the bus stop.
“Shit!”
“What? What is it?” Roy tried asking.
“That’s Willam, shit, he’s a coworker. If he sees me here, he’ll think I’m…I’m -”
Roy’s eyes narrowed. “Think you’re what?”
“You know!” Danny exclaimed, throwing up his hands in exasperation. “He’ll think I’m…like you!”
“Like me, eh?” Roy retorted, sitting back in his seat with an unreadable expression, shooting back the last of his own drink before taking out a cigarette.
Danny was frozen; he didn’t know whether to run or hide. He didn’t want Willam to see him skipping out on work and report him, but without ever having to say the word out loud he knew what he meant, and he knew he couldn’t escape it this time.
“I thought that tur-” Roy started, taking a deep breath to calm himself. Looking around at the other four people in the bar. “I thought you were implying something different.”
“I - I never implied anything.”
“Yes you did and you know it.” He gritted his teeth as if he was holding something back. “I guess I was wrong about you though, huh? Or did you just get off on the idea of messing with me? Having a nice laugh at me giving you my number.”
“No.”
“Oh, so I wasn’t wrong then? You liked it?”
“No!”
They’d once again met at that pond, lost deep, deep in some repressed memories Danny held where their eyes met, predator and prey. Kicking himself for letting this happen again.
“Hold on." He approached the subject slowly, taking a deep breath. Palms defensibly held out by his hips. “Yes. I had a momentary lapse of judgment but I’m-I’m pretty sure, I’m not like, you know,” he swallowed, “that.”
Either it worked, or Roy had gotten too good at putting on a face as he seemed to return to his usual composed self. His expression, however, still felt as if he knew more than he was letting on, like he was 10 steps ahead in a game Danny didn’t even know how to play. “Okay.”
“Huh?”
“Okay,” he repeated, taking a long drag from his cigarette as he stood up, throwing some cash on the table. “If you say so. I’ll be at the club tonight though if you want to not talk about it some more.”
“I can’t, I’m taking Jinkx out…”
“Sure you are.” He patted Danny’s chest one last time and left. Leaving him there on his own, unsure of what to do.
Luckily, he managed to sneak home just in time to avoid being caught for his little day off escapades. But when he crossed the threshold, he suddenly had the urge to wash off something dirty from his soul and immediately hopped into the small shower.
Scrubbing for ages to try and cleanse something tainted from his hair, his skin, his very spirit maybe. The water turned cold by the time he realized how shriveled his fingers and toes had grown.
“Hey!” He heard Jinkx running into the living room, followed by shoes being kicked off, a coat thrown haphazardly onto something making it rustle, and then she reached his bedroom.
He’d been standing in front of the bed with his clothes all spread out, wondering what to wear but too lost in thoughts of what Roy had said. His spirit still dirty despite the raw skin.
“Well hell-o,” she teased by digging a finger into his brief’s waistband, not so subtly looking down at his ass.
“Hello to you too.” He feigned a sense of normalcy, reaching around to give her a quick cheek peck and a big fat hug. Her boundless enthusiasm was too much for him to contain, however, as she ran out before he could fully close his arms.
Heading towards her bedroom to change into an evening dress, he gathered, by the big closet door’s signature hinge squeak.
“Listen. I know you were so sweet to promise a date for tonight but I have a show business thing I have to do.”
‘Thank god.’
“You can come though! I need to meet the new director and go over some things with him, so I suggested we meet at the club.”
‘Shit!’
“Actually, I would just feel like I’m in your way, dollface. Why don’t you go alone?” he tried to argue, leaning against the doorway, forgetting he was still in his underwear.
“Nonsense! I’ll buy you a drink and you can talk to the band boys about that audition. It’ll be great. Once you get dressed. Hop to it.” She snapped her fingers.
“Great for who?” he mumbled, almost certain she heard it.
By the time they’d met up with the director at the club, Danny’s heart felt like it was going to fall out of his ass. It was beating violently, making him nauseous, knowing Roy would take this as a win.
He tried fighting Jinkx on the matter but she seemed so insistent he come along that he couldn’t say no.
Fine, he didn’t fight that hard. He barely fought at all; he wanted to see Roy. Despite what he said, he still wanted to see him. He couldn’t stop seeing him every time he closed his eyes and he needed the real thing.
“Thank god,” he praised under his breath when they walked in and Roy was nowhere to be seen. He could relax. Coming to terms with this being some joke the older man had tried playing on him meant soon enough he could breathe normally again.
The rest of the night went great. They chatted, danced a few numbers, had a great meal and again, more than a fair share of drinks.
He felt so at ease, so affirmed in his role as the straight-laced man of the house his parents had expected of him. Jinkx was in her element, flattering the director with grace and elegance, buttering him up with invitations to dinners at their apartment as she lazily played with the button on his sleeve all night.
He finally felt like things might be all right. Ish. As always though, when things were going a little too great, he came back from the bathroom to see who but Roy and that night’s singer, Trinity, at their table.
Roy positioned, coincidentally of course, in the seat next to his acting as if he hadn’t seen him in ages. Shaking his hand and dropping a phony, “Daniel right?”
A name he knew good and goddamn well from their discussions that day that only 2 people called him - Jinkx and his mother.
Trying to keep his composure, Danny politely nodded, shaking his hand before he sat back down. Unable to follow the rest of the conversation that took place about singers, back up dancers and even costuming.
His only contribution being when Trinity asked what he did and if he was also in show business. He didn’t hear her at first due to Roy’s leg pressing against his, causing a momentary brain lapse.
“Banker.” He coughed. “Well, bank - um bank teller.”
“Oh please.” Jinkx cackled, patting his hand. “That’s just temporary, he's the best singer around here, besides myself and Miss Bonet of course.”
“Is that so?” Trinity inquired, shooting Roy a brief glance.
“Y-“
“Of course!” His drunk roommate interrupted again, making Danny purse his lips into a forced smile. “He also plays three instruments AND writes his own songs. I keep telling him he should audition for the band here but he’s a little shy.”
“That’s enough, dear.” He tried to play it cool through his blushing, struggling to tell her to shut up without using so many words.
“Why didn’t you say so? I got this little thing her first gig here, I can get you one,” Roy nonchalantly commented from next to him.
‘Oh sure,’ he thought, but the rest of the table began encouraging him to go for it. Words of affirmation made it too embarrassing to reject the offer so he agreed and followed Roy out to the back of the stage where, allegedly, the club owner liked to work alone.
“Bunny?” Roy knocked on the big red door before he pushed it open, examining the empty office space. “Guess she’s not here.”
Even if he tried, Danny couldn’t tell you what came over him, he grabbed Roy by the perfectly starched collar and slammed him against a wall. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“What?”
“You can get me a gig, really? And that leg thing, what's wrong with you?”
“What?” Roy asked, seeming genuinely taken aback. “I thought I was helping you? I thought we were friendly? What leg thing?”
“…oh.” Danny tried pulling away, suddenly feeling very silly, but his head was too clouded by the realization that he still had Roy pinned beneath him. Worse, that he had Roy pinned beneath him with a growing erection.
Roy had obviously noticed the bulge pressed against his thigh, as anyone would, and smirked with a slight glint in his eyes. “Not like me, huh?”
“It doesn’t mean anything.” He quickly let go, shooting to the other side of the small room like a frightened deer with his hands desperately covering his crotch.
“I’m sure it doesn’t,” Roy teased, scratching his chin awkwardly pretending to look away. “But, the offer still-uh, still stands. About Bunny, not the debauchery, or the number, as you’ve pointed out.”
“I wanted to call, um, but -” Danny tried defending but it felt pointless. He felt tired, unsure of what to do or say. Instead he just shook his head and buttoned his jacket back up to hide his embarrassment.
“I don’t understand you?” Roy crossed his arms, turning further away from him, this time with his whole body.
“What?”
“You asked me those things at the bar which, I’ll admit I took the wrong way. Clearly…” He tilted his head in Danny’s direction but kept his eyes on the wall. ”But you sat with me all day, I mean, I genuinely thought maybe you liked me.”
“Oh,” he repeated. He hadn’t considered that. Hadn’t taken Roy’s feelings into account, instead trying to think how he could still win this fight.
“Why are you hiding now though?”
“I’m not.” He was. Talking about your parents all day will have that effect on you, bringing that recognizable self-loathing back in a person. Even making him a little sheepish at that moment. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Fine. Better get back to the table then,” Roy exhaled, holding the door open for him.
He nodded, leaving Roy alone in the office.
As he made his way back to the table, defeated, he was intercepted by Jinkx going towards the bathroom, the two of them colliding into each other with a thud. Danny managed to grab hold of her by the shoulders and steady them both.
“Sorry, Doll, I didn't think to check where I was going.”
“I see that. Blood rushed somewhere else maybe?” she joked, eyeing between them where the bigger than usual bulge was still poking through.
‘Shit.’
“I guess it just…really likes running into you,” Danny quickly recovered, trying to save face before she asked too many questions.
Jinkx smiled a big grin and leaned into his ear with a husky tone, “Didn’t know you were such a romantic, why don’t I take care of that for you before we go back?”
Her whispers sent shivers up and down his back and straight to his groin, making his underwear painfully tight and his head painfully cluttered. How could he say no though? He needed to forget this day, he needed someone safe and familiar to hold onto till his world stopped spinning.
They rushed out the back door where he’d witnessed the spectacle with Courtney and a certain set of lovers, checking first this time that they were in fact alone.
They wasted no time, crashing into one another the second they established they were out of sight. Frantic kisses landing on exposed necks, lips, ears, wherever they could.
Danny’s hands cupping her face aggressively to pull her in for a passionate open-mouthed kiss. Hearing her moan, her cheeks and neck growing hot against his lips as he finally gave her the attention she’d asked for. Even if he knew it wasn’t for her, his mind could barely keep track of who it was picturing, Roy flashing into it every so often as he fought against his temptations.
“My my,” Jinkx moaned, dropping to her knees to wrestle his belt off. “Poor baby, you look like you’re fit to burst.”
“Maybe you’re just - aaah, that amazing,” he cried out when she took his thick cock into her mouth. Biting into his knuckles when the sensation overwhelmed him.
She didn’t seem to notice, or react if she did. Her red hair jostled wildly as she moved her head. Enveloping him fully, causing the thick vein on the side of his cock to pulse and his legs turn to jelly.
He held onto the wall behind them, bare palms flattened against it for support as his hips bucked wildly into her mouth. Groaning and cursing so loud and without care, he didn’t hear the door next to them open.
Barely enough for the light to poke through but enough that once he noticed, he caught Roy’s eyes watching them. His mouth opened as if he was about to say something before he saw them. An unreadable expression plastered across his sculpted face.
‘Dammit to hell,’ he cursed mentally, wishing Roy would be more animated like Jinkx with her heart on her sleeve. It’s tough enough trying to figure out what’s going on in your head let alone someone else’s.
Regardless, his own mind told him to stop, to immediately pull out and pretend nothing happened, maybe even confront Roy. Call him a bastard, a pervert, anything. He couldn’t.
He grabbed Jinkx and quickly spun her around, unable to contain himself any longer, spitting a good glob of saliva into his hand and onto his cock while she lifted her many skirt layers, reading his overzealous intentions all too well. Giggling like a lovesick schoolgirl, eager to please on prom night.
“Don’t bother being gentle,” she growled against the wall, arching her back to let him slide in and push her chest further into the bricks.
Trying to get on his tippy toes for easier access, he cursed her high heels vehemently before he grabbed onto her hips finally and dropped his forehead against the nape of her neck. Success! Sweet, sweet success.
Jinkx moaned loudly, unabashedly enjoying the moment. Distracting him briefly from the onlooker who caused this peep show to begin with.
His face tilted to the left where he could keep an eye on Roy, Jinkx pushed her hips back further with another loud wail, his own lips parting into a silent scream as her tight asshole stretched over his cock.
“That’s it. Like that,” she praised when his hips resumed their furious humping, hooking her fingers with his, unaware that while she was moaning out his name he was too busy saying silent prayers to Roy to even register.
His teeth gritted, eyes straining against the poor light so he could watch Roy for just a little longer. Studying the way his dark eyes sparkled in the softest bit of glow coming through. He’d pressed his lips into an acknowledging smile and started moving back towards the noise of the club when Danny shook his head no.
‘This is wrong.’
He knew it was. But his body craved the familiar, that human warmth again. His tipsy, confused mess of a mind however wanted the thrill of it.
He wanted Roy to see that his cock might’ve been inside Jinkx at that minute but not his mind. His mind was his to play with, to live in, not hers.
He couldn’t hold it any more, too filled with lust to care if he couldn’t last long enough, he furrowed his brows and tilted his head down as he grunted one last time. Slamming his hip bones flat against Jinkx’s round ass cheeks as he came.
Dropping his heels back down onto the ground with his twitching, limp dick sliding back out of her. His body felt as spent and tired as his soul, saying one last prayer to whoever would listen. Even if it was Roy or Jinkx. Anyone willing to hear.
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“Sorry.” He whispered tentatively into her back, not just for what a mess he’d made between her legs but well, you know.
He didn’t have to say it, he didn’t have it in him yet.
“It’s okay, baby,” she reassured with a gentle lilt, taking the handkerchief he’d handed her to wipe them both clean. “You know I love it when you don’t hold back.” She turned to face him, adding, “So animalistic.”
He wondered if he should laugh at her dirty little comment but some shame still hung heavy on his shoulders. “Did you, um, should I?”
“No dear, you did good. You did very very goooood,” she praised seductively, planting a barrage of kisses on his face. Smothering him with the compliments he needed to soothe his ego.
Danny felt that pang of guilt again. Lavishing in the giddy affection he was receiving from her despite knowing that mere moments ago he pushed her aside, no pun intended, so he could focus on his fantasies again. Worried that if she ever found out, she’d think this was some sick joke he was playing on her.
When they went back inside, the director and Trinity were still chatting at the bar, presumably none the wiser of what had just occurred. No one knew, it seemed. Except Roy. Roy was sitting down in his chair with the most smug, shit eating grin plastered on his face as Danny sat down next to him.
“Where’s your little friend?” he asked, lighting two cigarettes between his teeth.
“She’s powdering her nose,” he responded, trying to avoid eye contact.
More lies. He was getting good at this, what would his mother say if she saw him?
‘When are you gonna man up and take responsibility?’
“Of course she is.” Roy leaned over to place one of the cigarettes he just lit into his mouth before the others returned. “Saw everything at Rock Hudson’s parties huh?”
“Yeah,” he winced, taking a big puff, still keeping his eyes straight ahead rather than acknowledging him.
“Yeah…”
“Don’t tell anyone,” Danny whimpered like a scared child, unexpectedly reaching his hand over, desperately gripping Roy’s hand before the others came back. Just a small act of comradery to assure him they were still okay.
“I…won’t.” Roy shifted uncomfortably in his seat briefly before snapping back to his laid back persona again. Patting Danny on the shoulder reassuringly, instructing him to follow suit. “Just act normal…”
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