#i was a fucking menace
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I'll tell you what. No one makes a SAW trap like a 12-year-old girl with unrestricted internet access whose parents are divorced and whose entire family fights like it's a sport.
#saw franchise#sawposting#saw#im just saying#tw child neglect#parent child relationship#childhood#child abuse#girlblogging#early 2000s#unrestricted internet access#i was a fucking menace#my dad thought id grow up to be a murderer
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hellraiser, scream, and child’s play?
hellraiser: do u have any tattoos/piercings? do u want any?
answered here 💗
scream: what’s ur favorite movie?
When Harry Met Sally. hands down. no question.
it has been my favorite movie for years and years and i aspire to be as great of a romantic comedy storyteller as Nora Ephron was. she defined the genre, i admire her and all her work. but this movie? the best! old friends! enemies to friends to lovers! decade long slow-burn! JUST THE BEST!!!!
child’s play: have u ever committed a crime? what was it? *adjusts wire* if not, would u ever commit a crime?
oh friends. OH FRIENDS. i was (ALLEGEDLY) a hooligan in my youth. a grade A hooligan. me and my high school boyfriend were also nightmarishly on-again-off-again, so there were a lotta (ALLEGED) crimes of passion.
like the time we were at a party (off-again bc we were 17 and dramatic) and he was with another girl and i was technically there with another guy, but i was still hurt and i was drunk and 17 so what did i (ALLEGEDLY) do? i left, i went to the front yard where his car was parked and may or may not have had my house keys on me. some may say i keyed his car.
were the scratches in the shape of a penis? yes. that i can say definitively. and yes, the scratches remained for the majority of our senior year and it was HILARIOUS
⚰️ horror movie ask game 🔪
#ask game#the crime question comes a up a few times so you will get more sen lore today alkdjfakldf#i was a fucking MENACE#but ive grown. so its fine.
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Family Group hugs
Be a good proton, but keep your expectation down, Caine.
"..It brings my digital heart GREAT joy to see you're all satisfied and happy!"
"LET GO OF US YOU [@#$%&] PAIR OF DENTURES I SWEAR I-"
"ooh, a chimaera birdwing!"
#the amazing digital circus#tadc caine#tadc ragatha#tadc gangle#tadc pomni#tadc jax#tadc kinger#tadc zooble#Just a sprinkle#bunnydoll#jax x ragatha#Found family#I fucked up the anatomy#Caine is a sweetheart#And a menace.#Fluff#messy#Caine just want them to be happy#One big cartoony hugs!#group hug#Get it?#Proton..positive?#Legends know that reference#Guys this is getting scary lmao#3000..
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S02E04 The Hitchhicker
#good omens#good omens 2#good omens spoilers#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#1941#michael sheen#david tennant#aziraphale#crowley#good omens 2 spoilers#gomens#gos2 spoilers#go2 spoilers#WHEN I SAW THAT TWEET#I LITERALLY DIED#THIS IS SO FUNNY#CROWLEY YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE SERVED ON A SILVER PLATTER#michael you really are a menace#michael just decided to let us know that aziraphale FUCKS#crowley you idiot#you have no idea#forgive that ? box btw my phone is terrible#mine
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Tim Drake, Danny’s human identity in this universe, is a boy trapped in an empty manor with absentee parents a low socialization.
Danny Phantom, on the other hand, is Gotham City himself. He could fly, he could interact, he could be the heart of his city like he needs to be. From the lowest of the lows to the highest of the highs, Danny loved the people that were his. Well, most of them. Child molesters often found themselves crossing paths with a vengeful, mostly recovered Robin.
He is the city, he is Gotham. And with his status came more changes, ones he welcomes more readily that the changes that came with his title of Ghost King.
Being a city couldn’t change him as much as it would have, had he gained the title before becoming King. But now, his shadows are dark, curling around his shoulders and curling away what little light he allowed into his city. His skin, having once glittered green with stars and galaxies and black holes, clouds over just a bit. It gives him a misty quality. His hands become sharper, stronger. Gargoyle-like. He wonders what he looked like to Batman, holding his broken son cradled safely to himself. He’s crueler, now, but that’s easily balanced by his years of being a vigilante himself.
He loves these changes. They are loved in a way changing into Dead Danny Phantom and Ghost King Danny Phantom will never be loved. And even though his human features are different in a way he never had to deal with as Danny Fenton, because it was his body that he died in, Danny finds himself enjoying the distinction. And he enjoys when they combine, because in the end, they’re just facets of who he is, now.
Gotham flies through his city, and enjoys it as a whole. A bigger picture.
Tim Drake walks through his city, and enjoys it as an individual. The smaller picture.
Being Gotham reminds him of what he had to protect as a whole. A duty he gladly bears.
Being Tim reminds him of the people he’s meant to help, the stories he doesn’t get as Danny. A connection he gladly encouraged.
Gotham is power. He is duty, he is fierce love. But for the good of the whole.
Tim is kindness. He is choice, he is gentle devotion. But for the good of the individual.
He’s both.
Danny. Danny Phantom.
Phantom glides through the smog.
The ebb and flow of people is his life blood, the thrumming of life and death and fear and hate and love and everything the city is sung through him and Danny sung back with everything he had. Danny is the gargoyles perched high, watching everything. He’s the stone curves of the sewers, sheltering his rats and mutant murderous crocodile man. The is no love comparable to a city’s mutant rats and their sewers. Ancients, he loves his city.
It would be nice, Danny thinks wryly, if they’d love me enough to stop blowing up buildings.
The sting of destruction to his city would hurt much more, had he not also been King. Regardless, every time there’s an explosion or general large scale property damage, he feels a stab of mild pain. Catching sight of his Bats, Danny stays invisible while following them. He wills the shadows to cradle them, to hide them further. He softens the stone, the mortar, the steel, just a hint. Their footsteps, silent and aided by the city himself. The wind steal away the noise of the grappling guns, so when Danny’s favorite vigilante duo (a fascination he shared with original text!Tim) broke into the building, not a single soul aside them are aware of the intrusion.
Batman skulks across the support beams, Robin following with an anticipatory grin. Danny floats, invisible, undetectable, besides them.
“C’mon!” A goon grunts beneath them. Danny tilts his head. A… Dresden Aberthy. Wow. That’s one hell of a name.
“Hurry it up! Boss said Batman’s going to get here soon!” Another goon- Robbert- said, waving around a gun like a moron at the terrified hostages. Danny could tell half of them were part of a tour bus, mostly because the other half were his Gothamites, bored and unfairly used to this kind of thing. The tourists… He’s fond of them, having kept track of their progress through his city. He doesn’t care for intruders on his haunt, but tourists like to appreciate his city and its doubtlessly Sam-approved architecture. Most of them. Rude tourists get pigeon shit on their heads and food stolen by his lovely rats.
He’ll have to make sure none of the bullets hit the tourists. He likes this group, even if he has enough awareness to question their sanity in choosing his city to sightsee. He knows it’s a mess. It’s Danny’s mess though, so whatever.
——
All said and done, Batman whoops ass and Robin rescues the hostages just fine. Danny grins proudly as Robin knees a guy in the crotch and punches a lady’s throat in order to incapacitate them.
After they tied the goons up, and interrogated them for Two Face’s plans- explode a quarter of Gotham to distract the Bats from his diabolical plan to murder half of Gotham’s judges and lawyers that have been going after him and his people- the duo retreats to the rooftop.
“Didja think Gotham saw that?”
Batman goes to reply, but Danny beats him to it, coming back to visibility with a wind touched laugh.
“I did, little Robin.” Danny smiles, fangs and shadows on display as his vigilantes startles and whips around to face him. “You did well.”
Robin- Jason!- gapes at him.
“I see you’ve recovered, little bird.”
“Gotham! Oh. Wow. People always said Gotham was a lady, but you’re a guy!”
“It was a Lady,” Danny confirmed. “It’s complicated, little bird.”
“So, you’re really… you’re really Gotham? The city?”
Danny looks at Robin with the weight of the city behind his gaze.
“I think you know the answer to that. But yes, I am your city.”
“Constantine,” Batman starts. “He said that city spirits only appear in times of grave danger.”
There is deference in his words. Batman is Batman for Gotham, after all. Danny just wishes he could… well, be friendlier with his knights. May this is a good place to start.
Are you in danger? What threats do we need to handle? How can I help? How can I protect? Please, let me help.
His Knight always felt more than he ever says. Danny smiles.
“Was Robin’s wellbeing not in grave danger?” Danny floats closer. “I am your city. You protect me, it is only right that I protect you, no?”
“Thank you for saving me, Gotham!” Robin’s grin is a touch more sincere than usual.
“Of course, Robin. You are loved.”
“Is there… a reason you’ve shown yourself today? Gotham.”
Danny chuckles, understanding the awkwardness that was Batman addressing someone with deference.
“I wanted to tell you that you did well tonight. Those tourists weren’t harmed in the slightest. Well done.” Danny gave Robin a playful but sincere thumbs up.
“They weren’t a match for us!”
“No, they weren’t.” Danny ruffles Robin’s hair, noticing how still he grew at it. “Robin was too fast for them. That maneuver at the end was masterfully executed.”
Batman clears his throat and Danny resists the urge to laugh at him. It would be mean.
“Thank you, for the… praise.”
Fuck it. He’s played well behaved for too long.
“Yes. I read in child rearing books that positive reinforcement is necessary for healthy development. You did well, Batman.”
Despite trolling Batman- and somehow holding a straight (and hopefully wise face)- he meant every word.
Allowing a small smile to slip at Robin’s chortles and Batman’s quiet sputtering, Danny moves on.
“Where is Nightwing, Batman?”
“He’s still on a mission...”
“If it is awkward to refer to me as Gotham, Phantom will do.”
Batman dips his head once. “In space, with the Teen Titans.”
“I see. Please tell him I request his presence,” Danny barely waits for Batman’s oddly acquiescing agreement before summoning a pigeon.
“Follow her,” Danny instructs the duo. “She’ll lead you to the places with explosives. I will guide you through her, to Harvey Dent.”
Danny winces as another explosion rings out.
“Your face is cracking!” Robin exclaimed, worried. He surged forward to stare at the hairline cracks appearing on Danny’s jaw.
“That would be the explosives. Any damage to the city will be shown on me.”
“Well take care of it.” Batman growled, shoulders straightening once more into an imposing symbol.
“Yeah!”
“I know you will. Stay safe.” Danny disappears, spreading his awareness and directing his Birds to the explosives that will go off the fastest.
Batman and Robin share a glance and leaps off the roof, ready to save their city once more.
——
Tim Drake wanders around Crime Alley, and meets a blonde nine year old trying to throw hands at her absentee Riddler knockoff of a dad. He dodges the brick en route to his face and kicks the guy’s knees out.
“You okay?”
The girl blinks. She stares at her dad, groaning on the dirty street of crime alley, and flicks her gaze back up to Tim, who waits casually.
“Yep. I’m Stephanie. We’re gonna be friends now!”
She grins at him, a baby tooth missing, and Danny melts.
“Heck yeah. Tim!” He introduces himself for the first time in a long time.
Maybe with Stephanie around, he’ll finally use the name Tim? Maybe he’ll get used to it, finally!
#Danny Phantom#danny is Gotham#gotham bay is a corpse dumping ground#gotham#batman#DCxDP#dpxdc#Bruce Wayne#Danny is a menace#he sets Gotham city pests upon rude tourists#that’s right respect the city or get shat on#Batman: no outsider heros unless with my express permission#Danny: literally fuck everyone else but my own city#also Danny: I’m a hero I gotta help people everywhere#batman: this is my city and he deserves all the respect and reverence#also Batman: that is a child asking me to save them I will do whatever#nightwing is still in place#tim drake is a menace#tim drake is a little shit#but in a slightly more eldritch way#instead of the sleep deprived unhinged badass that is original Tim
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A happier galaxy where the disaster lineage is somewhat less on fire constantly and senior padawan Obi-wan has developed a fixation on Mandalorians:
Sometimes Feemor regretted just how much he had given away when he had spent 5 expensive months bribing a traumatised Obi-wan to call him brother when he was 14. His dignity, for one, his access codes and shadow cloaking techniques, another. So he had a very dignified reaction when he was awoken to the shine of his younger brother's eyes in the dark at the foot of his bed. "I wou-stop screaming it's just me-I would like a Mandalorian. How do I procure one?"
"How the fuck should I know?"
Obi-wan scowled as if Feemor was being difficult, he wasn't, he wasn't quite awake enough for that yet. "You're a shadow, you're supposed to know things."
Ah, if being a shadow granted you the secrets of the universe instead of just a great many planetary governments, Feemor wouldn't spend so much time wondering what dark rituals Dooku had committed to result in Qui-gon Jinn. (He already knew what regular rituals Qui-gon had committed to result in Obi-wan)
"I know that I'm about to punt you out of my room right now."
"...My birthday is coming up, I believe I deserve compensation for all the traumas."
Obi-wan's eyes were very big now. Feemor sighed. He flopped back down into bed. He resisted the urge to pull his blankets back up and roll over. 'Oh sure when it's time to see mind healers everything's fine but now-'
"Shouldn't you be asking Master then?"
"Master would not approve of how I plan to use the Mandalorian."
He squinted at Obi-wan for a long moment. Obi-wan stared back. He did some quick mental maths and tried not to feel old. Eh. Fine. Feemor swung his legs out of bed. "You had me at 'Master wouldn't approve'."
"Do you think I could get one by walking into little Keldabe and asking very nicely?"
As it turns out, yes he could. A few too many in fact, apparently Jedi, their ancestral enemy, in the Mando district attracted attention, who knew? Feemor knew, Feemor would have known if only he had been properly awake when this semblence of a plan was proposed. He stalked through the cantina towards Obi-wan who was leaning slightly forwards against a pillar, ah...speaking, to a Mandalorian with painted orange armour while surrounded by a larger crowd of Mandos. At least they seem mostly amused. He ignored the youngers squawk as he yanked the back of his robes so that he moved away from the Mandalorian and spun him around.
"You cannot solve centuries of animosity by batting your eyelashes."
"I'm not batting my eyelashes " Obi-wan sniffed," I'm shaking my ass, there's decidedly more effort involved."
"I miss when I was an only child." Feemor sighed deeply. He used the force to scruff the neck of Obi-wan's robes and dangle him slightly in the air. He ignored the shouting from beside him and bowed politely to the staring Mandos. "My apologies for the disturbance, this will not happ-" He considered his brother who was now yelling out his personal comm code with a wink. " Please excuse us, this very probably will happen again, we shall workshop it. May the force be with you all."
I don't have a fully planned AU but it is Codywan!!! cause I love those bitches but have some more dialogue I came up with for this AU. I'm imagining them both as like 20-23, Obi's close to knighthood. He's still a padawan for this because I think him causing Qui-gon headaches is funny. Feemor fully thinks this complicated courtship dance Obi's created is funny, he likes studying his little brother like a bug, he just wasn't prepared for him to just waltz into little kelbade and start hitting on people, though he really should have been.
Hand wavy timeline with Jaster alive but the clones are still clones, Jango was kidnapped and held in stasis or something, Jaster claimed them as Mandos. This is really just about Obi's first and biggest diplomatic achivement being friendly Jedi-Mando relations purely cause he was in his thot era. This also somehow saves the galaxy from the sith.
I like to imagine that Cody's brothers recorded that little exchange between Fee and Obi on their helmets and uploaded it online where it went viral on MandoNet before going viral galaxywide because wait holy shit is that a Jedi saying that????. Qui-gon gets called in for a very weird meeting where the council's like ok so the entire holonet has seen your padawan being horny on main but also this is like the biggest jump in our diplomatic relationship with the Mandos in centuries so like can we keep this up somehow? This results in Obi-wan being holonet famous, first through vode recordings but then he starts a space tumblr and twitter account and he's famous now. Then his friends and other jedi start accounts because wait we're allowed to do that? and those become big as well and this is literally the best PR the jedi have had in hundreds of years. the holonet loves them. the sith are fuming.
Obi-wan, scoffing: What were they gonna do? Shoot me?
Feemor: Yes.
Obi-wan: I don't believe in blasters.
Bly: ...like as a concept...?
Obi-wan: No, spiritually.
Obi-wan: I'm sure there's a nice Mandalorian we can find for you
Feemor: I'm not sure those 2 words belong together
Obi-wan: No of course not, we can't find a nice one, then they'd be all alone, we need to find an absolute bastard of one so that you two match :)
Obi-wan: Oh so Master gets to take in pathetic life forms but I don't? This one's already domesticated!
Wolffe: Debatable.
Feemor: Cody's a person! Not a stray tooka!
Obi-wan: Master takes in stray people all the time! That's how he got me!
Qui-gon: How do you explain this behaviour Padawan ?
Obi-wan: The force pushed me towards the Mandalorians Master, it was quite insistent on me developing better relations with them given our difficult history.
Feemor: Fascinating, please do elaborate, I'd love to hear the theological implications of a force-assigned kink.
#yes i will put jedi on social media into everything#i think early 20s menace obi wan with equally menace cody is so good#cody looks at this ginger twink and is like oh theres definitely something wrong with him but he amuses me so hes allowed to stay#cody: obi wan has 57 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces how can i not fuck him?#star wars#obi wan kenobi#feemor#codywan#commander cody#feemor and obi wan#jedi order#disaster lineage#star wars fic
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HE'S GONNA STEAL--NOT JUST YOUR HEART--BUT EVERYTHING YOU OWN AS WELL!!!
#chrisrin doodles#grian#mcyt#persona 5#hermitcraft#i should probably come up with a name for this au?#anyways GRIAN!#i didn't have a firm persona in mind for him#but i was thinking about maybe someone like artful dodger?#from oliver twist#ill be frank i know nothing about the novel#i was just looking last night for famous thieves but specifically like#very sterotypical pickpockets/classic thieves#not very gentleman-y at all#he's probably a wind user#super quick on his feet#he does not have a gun he just throws explosives#if youre wondering about his outfit i think it's VERY fitting for grian to have his ideal version of 'rebellion'#be literally like. a petty robber who causes absolute chaos#he still has his shackles on#theyre broken#he just got out of jail#he's going to rob another bank#he's going to be a Fucking Menace#and no one can stop him#his codename i think would change every single time#scar just calls him something new every time they go in#and the rest of the thieves just roll with it
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Ahsoka: Sand...
Anakin: Yup...
Ahsoka: Instead of telling Padmé you love her for the first time, you said “I hate sand.”
Anakin: Yeah...
Ahsoka:
Anakin:
Ahsoka: How does that happen..?
Anakin, disappointed in himself: I don’t know..
#i hate sand#fuck sand#source: how i met your mother#source: himym#star wars#incorrect star wars quotes#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#star wars episode iii: revenge of the sith#star wars episode ii: attack of the clones#star wars episode i: the phantom menace#padme amidala#ahsoka tano#star wars: the clone wars#star wars the clone wars#clone wars incorrect quotes#incorrect clone wars quotes
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i watched all of The Fall of the House of Usher in one sitting so my brain is sludge but before i pass out allow me to say one thing:
Carla Gugino fucking ATE
#the fall of the house of usher#fall of the house of usher#house of usher#mike flanagan#carla gugino#LEGEND#shes a fucking menace i love her
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next episode is gonna be like
#someone needs to draw omega being an absolute chaos menace#tbb spoilers#tbb omega#the bad batch#star wars#royce hemlock#my memes#my edits#wisdom of gamelpar#fuck i spelled tantiss wrong#meh :/#they deserve it#im too lazy to fix it hehe
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I dont trust him either
#I would get into a fight w tristamp ww so fucking quickly. let me punch him one time itd fix him#I could fix him (punch him in the face)#SORRY HES JUST. 🙄 IDK#theres just something about him.... (Said with menace)#trigun#trigun stampede#tristamp#see I can draw tristamp stuff too#vash the stampede#wolfwood#tristamp wolfwood#doodles#tristamp vash#tristamp roberto#is that his name. why am i blanking#roberto de niro#ROBERT DE NIRO?#WHY IS TJAT JUST NOW REGISTERING. HOLD ON#vashwood
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🔪
#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#peppino#the noise#noise#arts#mine#peppino is like#i fucked up this fucking trust fund brat with my bare hands; hes lucky I didnt have a fucking shiv on me#its just funny to me#peppino is amicable with literally everyone now#and if not#just a little annoyed but tolerant#but the noise just pokes and pokes at this bear (hehe) in such a way#that makes peppino want to bash his skull in#so now everytime the noise wants to be a little menace and sneak around the pizzeria hes gotta stay on his toes#bc whenever he THINKS peppino is busy; theres a fucking weapon being flung at him from nowhere
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one day in california someone asks el if her and will are twins and she just fucking explodes. she loves the idea. yes, absolutely she and will are twins, what a fantastic concept, thank you. she announces that night at dinner: "me and will are twins now." and instead of trying to explain that's just... not how it works, the byers' are all like: "yeah, okay. cool."
it does, however, confuse the party and hopper when the byers' move back to hawkins. because suddenly el is looping her arm with will's and claiming 'twin telepathy' or that she gets dibs on will with any team based game because 'we are twins, you are not allowed to seperate us.'
(will loves it too. acts like it's always been this way, looking at their friends with fake confusion and asking: what? how did you forget about me having a whole twin sister? gosh, guys, do you really pay attention to us that little? you move away for one year and suddenly people forget such basic info about you... meanwhile el just nods along and tells them off as well.)
#theyre fucking menaces#and i love them#stranger things#prompt#stranger things prompt#wonder twins#the byers family#will and el#el and will#el hopper#el byers#will byers#stranger things headcanons#stranger things hc#el headcanon#the party#imagine
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YANGYANG + THE TANK TOP // ON MY YOUTH JACKET BEHIND PT. 2
#yangyang#liu yangyang#nct#wayv#nctinc#itsnctsworld#yangyanggifs#nctgifs#wayvgifs#cee.gifs#he's a fucking menace to society !!!!!!!!!!!!#i need him so bad
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My mom has this awful friend, Cynthia. My loathing goes deep enough that I’m not even going to change her name. If she ever finds this she knows what she did.
On multiple occasions my mom asked this horrible irresponsible chicken brained woman to watch after our animals while we were away. I don’t know why once wasn’t enough, because the first failure was so spectacular that anyone in their right mind would know she couldn’t be trusted with any level of responsibility or direction following.
You might be thinking to yourself, FFS, this level of antipathy is surely unwarranted! But you’d be wrong.
To set the scene, we were living in downstairs of our house when I was about fifteen. My mom has always wanted more animals than can reasonably be kept indoors which is how we ended up with three cats. When she wanted to kick them all outside I protested, and so all three cats lived in my bedroom with no access to the rest of the house.
That really wasn’t great, so in an attempt to give them options we made a window cutout with a cat door in it to give them access to the outdoors. Looking back on this as an environmentally conscious adult it’s wretched, cats should be indoor only, but at the time I was desperate to give them some freedom because one bedroom is too small for three cats.
So my parents and I went on a week long trip to visit family out of state. We told Cynthia to come feed and water the cats, and to scoop the litter box. Most importantly, don’t lock the handle of the door, because we only have the key to the deadbolt.
I’m sure you can see where this is going.
Cynthia locked us out. We arrived home after 12 hours on the road, desperate for the comfort of our own beds. We were met with an unyielding door. With a sigh I volunteered, “I can punch in the cat door and climb in the window.”
I slipped behind the bamboo outside my window and pushed in the cutout. A horrible insidious reek wafted out at me. I paused, prickling with foreboding. But I had a job to do, and by god I’d see it through. I hefted myself up into the window and my hand immediately landed in something wet.
Skin crawling, I pulled myself up and surveyed the darkened room as a miserable odor of decay and suffering poured out of the room around me. I could see dark shapes littering the carpet and it didn’t take a genius to guess that the cats had taken up hunting in a big way during my absence.
I pulled my hand out of the pile of vomit it had landed in and dropped into my onetime bedroom turned now into a hellpit of decomposing wretchedness. I turned on the light. I wished I had not turned on the light.
My eyes scanned across the floor, tallying as they went. Two dead birds, a dead baby rabbit, five dead mice, and one dead snake. I paused on my alarm clock, perplexed to see a stain of white on it. I stepped closer and saw a furtive movement.
The tally suddenly contained also: one live bird that had shit in several places, probably in pure terror to find itself trapped in a room littered with decomposing woodland creatures, which honestly, fair. I coaxed it out the window and finished the survey with five discrete piles of vomit.
I unlocked the door and let my parents in. They exclaimed in disgust at the horrible smell. We stood together in my doorway floored by the magnitude of neglect. The unscooped litter box was a subtle footnote in the tangible reek my living space. I disposed of the parade of ecological disaster, cleaned vomit, and scooped the box after a brutally long day on the road. The cats were fine, and happy to see me. They had a huge dish or food and water so Cynthia’s neglect at least hadn’t harmed them.
Then I slept on the couch while my bedroom aired out, the windows flung wide to dispel the uneasy ghosts of the hunted. I spent the whole night cursing Cynthia’s name for this evil she’d visited upon me. When my mom asked her, "Cynthia, didn't you see the dead animals?"
Cynthia responded, "Yes, they smelled so bad, I just ran in and out as fast as I could." I fully don't believe she did any caretaking, and I'm personally of the opinion that she locked herself out on the first day and never came back.
The next day my room had returned to a habitable level of smellscape and I gratefully crawled into my bed that night. I stretched out and froze as my foot brushed something cold and wet?
The final indignity: one last dead snake, inside my very sheets.
Fucking Cynthia.
#ramblies#story#ffs foibles#keep your cats inside#but also looking back like why didn't I change my sheets#I did not have good bed hygiene instilled in me from my parents#later that lady would go on to leave a huge metal dish of dog food in the middle of the yard#despite the fact that we told her over and over not to feed the dog because he was on a diet#and I knew not to trust her so my friend was coming twice a day to feed him his portioned out meals#he gained like ten pounds in the week we were gone eating rained on mushy dog food#that fucking woman was a menace#Cynthia
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#no one can gender the way my bestie shi qingxuan does#they identify as a fucking menace who commits arson once in a while#idk if i want to be them or be with them#shi qingxuan for the win <3#heaven officials blessing#shi qingxuan#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#mxtx#xie lian#hua cheng
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