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#i wanted to put this fic into tumblr text post
todayisafridaynight · 26 days
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I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh
hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]
i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..
#snap chats#//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes#might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍‍♂️#@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ...#there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams//#recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking#he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ#oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever#first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway#aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO#though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role#daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot#yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does#if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh#and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing#theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line#masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together#if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack#but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral#im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 ....#and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like#'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)'#and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal#they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway.#tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together#like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀#one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid#so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny.#and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/
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patrice-bergerons · 2 years
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Controversial opinion: shorten long posts is an excellent tumblr addition.
It's still really easy to view any post im even mildly interested in full. I also love you all, but by God you put 5 mile long posts on my dash on the daily and this feature makes me hate my mutuals so much less.
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hysteria-things · 2 months
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COULD U POSSIBLY MAKE A MATT FIC BASED OFF OF THIS TIKTOK OR SONG (YOU CAN DECIDE IF U WANT IT TO BE SMUT OR NOT IF U DO MAKE ONE) https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8wp5H2t/
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🔗
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MY OH MY
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dom!matt x reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you get into a pickle when you get poured on, but don’t worry… somebody comes to save you.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUTTY, swearing, making out, p in v, ass grabbing, faux sympathy, cum eating (🙈)
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1,400
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: meant to post earlier but tumblr decided to close the draft without saving as i was proofreading/editing🤣
hope you enjoy @sluttyformatt :)
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rain trickles down your hair to your shoes; workout clothes soaked.
you wanted to go on a late-night walk, then suddenly it started pouring out of nowhere. currently, you’re standing under a roof edge, arms crossed while you wait for your ride.
your brother isn’t around to pick you up, so your last resort was his best friend. he’s your brother’s age, who’s two years older than you. he’s known him ever since high school, yet your mother always said matt was a bad influence.
although, you do see where she’s coming from. matt was the type to always get in trouble in school, and overall he’s just a big grump. he’s only been nice to you, your brother, and of course his siblings.
headlights glow down the street, getting closer until the minivan stops in front of you. you quickly head over to it, open the door, and get in on the passenger’s side. “hi matty!” you beam. “thank you so much for picking me up. i didn’t know it was going to rain.”
he looks at you, wearing the leather jacket he’s had for as long as you can remember.
he truly doesn’t understand how you can be so happy no matter what, even if you are drenched in water. “you should’ve checked the weather before you left.” he mumbles, putting the car in drive.
“well, it was sunny all day. i didn’t expect rain. it’s okay, though. it’s like a surprise shower.” you smile, fastening the seatbelt.
“uh oh,” you say, looking through your fanny pack that you have strapped to your stomach.
he sighs, still focusing on the road. “what is it now?”
“i may or may not have left my keys home and locked myself out. nobody’s home.” you lick your teeth. “can i come to your place until my brother picks me up? pretty please, matty?”
“fine.” he inhales sharply. “and stop calling me matty.”
it’s silent as you two sit on the couch. your brother texted you saying he’ll let you know when he’s on his way, but god knows how long that’ll be. (despite it being almost midnight)
matt notices a shiver, taking his eyes off of his phone to look. your hands rub up and down your arms trying to warm up, but the chattering of your teeth indicates that it isn’t helping. “go to my room and grab one of my hoodies and pajama pants. they should be in my dresser.” he says coolly.
you smile. “it’s okay, i can wait. i’m fine.”
“put them on.” he demands. “you’re soaking wet and freezing.”
staring at him, he keeps staring back because of your silence. “go.”
you sigh like a child, getting up from the couch and walking down the hallway into his bedroom.
matt’s clothes are far too big on you, but you do feel warmer and more comfortable. his pants hang low just past your waistline. the hoodie on the other hand is long, causing the sleeves to give you sweater paws.
you sit on the chair he has in the corner, scrolling on your phone. matt can’t help but stand at the doorway, watching you.
not in a creepy way, but the fact you’re wearing his clothes has his dick reacting from the view. the way it’s too big for your body turns him to fuck on.
he cannot feel this way toward you. your his best friend’s sister, for god’s sake. but he can’t help it.
“feel better?”
you get startled by his voice. “yes, thank you.”
“told you so,” he grumbles.
rolling your eyes playfully, you stand up. “i didn’t mean to linger in here. i got distracted.”
as you start to walk by him, he grabs onto your shoulders to stop you. your breath hitches at the feeling of his rings; the way they drag down your arm makes you subconsciously clench your thighs together.
his cologne floods your nostrils, and the way he’s looking at you is different now.
he’s always been a grumpy kid and had a resting bitch face, but now he’s looking at you seductively and with need.
the hand that was on your arm now cups the front of your neck. there’s no pressure, but the fingers with no rings go over your bottom lip.
he sighs sympathetically. “it sucks that you’re off limits. i would so fuck you right now.”
your eyebrows raise high from the sudden courage he had to just blurt that out. however, you smirk.
“if you kiss me.” you shrug. “i might let it happen.”
he groans, leaning down to smash his lips on yours.
still intact, you grab his jacket and pull him in closer, your bodies moving at the same rhythm.
he starts to push you back to where the chair is, turning you 180° so he’s the one sitting in it while you straddle his lap.
your hips grind, rubbing just the right spot on not only you but him also. you smile into the kiss when you feel him hardening beneath you.
tugging at the pants you're wearing, he pulls away. “take these off.”
you shimmy them down your legs as he unbuckles his belt and pulls his bottoms down below his thighs. he grabs your hips to hover you over him, but stops and teases the tip.
you wiggle to get some friction as he smirks. “manners.”
“please.” you whine. “please let me ride your cock. i’m so fucking wet for you.”
matt sinks you slowly onto him, your walls immediately stretching to his size. “i didn’t know you had such a dirty mouth.”
you mumble something into his chest, bouncing uncontrollably on his dick. your sweater paws ball up on his biceps. your ass slaps repeatedly on his skin, the sound echoing off the walls.
he tuts, grabbing your ass and giving it a firm squeeze. “why so quiet?”
“stop.” you mewl, nuzzling your face even deeper into his body. your face is hot from embarrassment.
“is somebody embarrassed to be fucking her brother’s best friend? it looks like ms. goody-two-shoes is a little naughty.” he says lowly into your ear, causing you to start whimpering and going even faster.
it doesn’t take long for his tip to brush against the right spot “oh, fuck.” you moan, legs shaking at his sides.
“better not get this chair dirty, otherwise i’ll make you clean it,” he warns, knowing that you can’t control your orgasm.
pouting, you clench hard. of course, your release runs down his thighs and onto the seat. your eyes are glassed over while you look at him, who’s shaking his head. “you’re making a mess.”
somehow so quickly, he lifts you off of him and onto the floor. now, he’s behind you, and your cheek leans against the chair.
he again nudges at your entrance, this time you buck your hips back but he grips them tight. “clean up your mess first.”
he doesn’t ask. he orders while pushing your head down further into the cushion.
obeying, you flick your tongue onto your arousal. normally, you’d find this gross, but you’re so wet and turned on that you’ll listen to whatever he says. his presence feels like you are under a spell.
a sweet and salty taste fall on your tongue, following his instructions to a t.
a hum of approval is heard behind you. he spreads your legs wider, slamming into you with no warning.
you moan loudly, arching as much as you can in this position. “m-matt! shit, matt!” you yelp.
he grunts, taking in how well your pussy feels engulfing him.
tears threaten to spill from your eyes once they roll back, moaning loud and clear when your g-spot gets abused already.
strings of curses leave your lips, the way he’s balls deep inside of you right now have you quiver a lot. “you feel—” you pause, licking your lips and shutting your eyes tight. “so good. like… holy fucking god.”
he chuckles, placing his hand on your shoulder to drill into you harder. before you even know that it’s happening, you cum for the second time, shaking uncontrollably from the pleasure.
a deep breath later, matt makes sure to pull out and paint your back white.
“you can keep the clothes.” he says, jiggling your ass to play with it. “so you can wear them the next time i fuck you.”
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𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
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certainlynotasimp · 11 months
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oh just a little tip, i think it would be wise if you added the spanish translations somewhere inside the fics, this could be at the end or next to the spanish sentence, since you can’t copy text from posts it’s hard to translate since you have to type everything in google translate by hand <33 anyways i loved your fic, you’re very talented and i can’t wait to see more of miguel and his beloved sunshine.
you know what might be funny? if they were on a mission and got hit with a gas that switches their personalities🤣 now that would be something i would pay to see 😂
From Your Point of View
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((Miguel O’ Hara x Female! Reader))
A/N: Hello~✨ Thank you so much for the request and the critique. I have now added some translations at the bottom of the fanfics because I forgot how weird tumblr can be about copy and pasting stuff😅. Also I hope that I didn’t disappoint with this as I was kinda struggling on what to write for this one.
-Still haven’t seen the movie so be warned I may get some stuff wrong-
Warnings: Grumpy x Sunshine, Female Reader/Female Pronouns, Barely using (Y/N) ((Sunny is their nickname not their name)), bioweapons, kinda graphic injuries, Outta Character and Outta pocket behavior, and Google Translated Spanish. ((Thank you @22carolina08 for reviewing it before I posted it))
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The cackle of women enjoying the fruits of their labors filled the corridor of the abandoned warehouse as they surrounded the machine they were working on. It was a tall glass sphere with some kind of purple dust floating around inside while two titanium computers stood on either side of the device.
The three women standing around it were a set of Green Goblins who jumped from different dimensions to find a universe where there wasn’t an arachnid hero to stop them from using a bomb to take control of the city.
However they didn’t expect there to be four spidermen to be observing them around the property with one little spider hiding along the walls of their lair.
“Lyla,” Miguel whispers as he observes the meeting from the top of another warehouse. “Analyze the contents of that bomb and tell me how bad it is.”
The yellow AI materializes in front of him as Miguel tries to swat her away like a fly, not wanting her to compromise his location. Lyla rolls her eyes and explains, “The dust in that little bomb they have is made from spores of this rare mushroom. It’s been reported that inhaling the spores can cause drastic changes in behavior, mood swings, and mild hallucinations. Most cases detail paitents becoming aggressive and violent.”
Jessica’s voice buzzes through the intercom as she quips, “So they are planning on driving the city into a state of panic?”
“Sounds like it.” Ben Riley gruffs in annoyance. Miguel couldn’t help but roll his eyes as he knows the Scarlet Spider was still pissed that he couldn’t go ahead and stop the goblins.
“Sounds like a party to me, mate.” Hobie cracks as he watches from the ground. “Oi, Sunny, Dear? Wanna crash their party?”
“Yes, a party of people violently hurting each other and causing mass chaos does sound like fun.” Miguel grumbles saracastially before scolding Hobie. “She can’t reply to you, Brown. Not when she’s undercover.”
Miguel can barely make out her outline with the infared of his mask lens, but he can see his little jumping spider wander among the goblins unseen.
A big advantage to have someone with his beloved’s powers. She had almost every trait of the typical spider men, but she had a unique camouflaged ability. Without the suit Miguel made her, she can lower her heart rate and rapidly chill her body temperature so she can remain undetected by infared. She can also go invisible for a few moments without the suit, but both abilities are limited due to how strenuous it was on her being.
The suit allows her to remain undetected for a much longer time and prevents her from putting too much strain on her body. The slight heat the suit emits to keep her body functioning is the only thing that Miguel can use to track her. A major drawback of her gift is that physically she’s not as strong as the others, but she can handle herself in a fight.
Of course, he’s always there to help her. Her protective predator and his gentle prey. A match made in heaven as Jess always jokes.
“(L/N).” Miguel whispers into the com as he watches his love sneak around the device. “Attach the bug I gave you to the main computer so Lyla can deactivate the bomb.”
He makes a signal to the others to tell them to be ready for the ambush. The plan was suppose to be a simple get in and out. The invisible web shooter would get the bomb deactivated while Miguel, Hobie, and Ben rush in and take out the goblins. Jess served as support in case the villains ran past them. It was suppose to be an easy mission. Until it wasn’t.
As the bomb got deactivated, a light beep from the monitor causes the Goblins to turn around and notice that someone tampered with their bomb. Before the little spider could escape, one of the Goblins throws a jack o lantern explosive at her, causing the glass vial to exploded.
Miguel’s blood ran cold as he witnesses his love engulfed in black and purple smoke, and all reason went out the window as he rushed into the contaminated warehouse to save her.
“Miguel, wait!” Jessica screams out she drives her bike in front of the other two spidermen trying to rush in.
“What gives, Drew?” Hobie snaps, concern burning in his eyes. “We gotta get in there.”
“Not without these.” She snaps back as she hands the boys four sets of gas masks. “Lyla said it’s transmitted through air. Hurry up and put these on.”
Ben grumbles and slams the mask on before running in while Hobie and Jessica share a look. “You think Sunny will be alright?” The spiked spider asks as he places the gas mask on his already covered face.
“She better be.” Jessica sighs. “I definitely don’t want to find out how Miguel will react if she wasn’t.”
With that Hobie runs in while Jessica calls for backup to help contain the spores seeping from the windows.
~~~~~~~~
“Vitals appear to be normal.” Spider-Doc mutters to the three spider people surrounding one of the hospital beds. “O’Hara and (L/N) are both looking good on blood pressure and brain activity, so I expect them to wake up anytime soon.”
Thankfully, Hobie and Ben managed to capture the green goblin trio and reinforcements came just in time to contain the spread of the bio weapon. However, both Miguel and his companion were found bloody and unconscious when they found them.
The beloved spider woman had most of the damage with several shards of glass impaled into her back and arm while gaining a severe concussion. The team figured that in the rush of the moment and his vision obscured by the cloud of dust, the goblins took Miguel by surprise and got him with three sharp projectiles while he was trying to help Sunny.
Despite the horrific scene, both of them were deemed to be alright after some surgery and the only physical damage was Sunny’s now broken arm, which should heal in about a week thanks to the signature spiderman super healing. The only worry was the psychological damage.
Both were definitively exposed to large quantities of the gas and from what Lyla had said about the mental effects of the spores, they were worried about an invisible spider and her beast of a companion tearing everything apart.
Jessica sighs as she sadly gazes at the broken and restrained bodies of her friends as Hobi places a small bear on his little friend’s bed.
“Didn’t Lyla say anything about how that antitoxin is coming along?” Peter says as he bites his nail.
Spider-Doc nods as his lens shifts to appear like he’s hopefully smiling. “Lyla has said thanks to the samples from their suits, an antitoxin will be finished in two days.”
“Two days?!” Hobie snaps up. “We are about to have two spidermen possibly going on a rampage if we piss them off. I don’t think we can wa-“
A soft groan emits from the bed beside the ranting anarchist and everyone’s attention breaks from the poor doctor and onto the small spider. Her eyes flutter open as she frowns at her surroundings.
“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Jessica soothes as she helps the disoriented girl sit up in her bed.
“I’m fine.” The girl said in an unusually blunt way. Her eyes now harden in an annoyed expression as she looks around at the group. “Next time, you guys should be more considerate to someone recovering from having their shit rocked.” She scolds before growling at the pain.
The sight of the sweet girl now acting so bothered towards their presence was so unsettling, but not unexpected. They were aware the sweet girl they knew was gonna be changed by the gas, but it’s still disturbing.
As they all stare at the glaring girl, a deep groan comes from the bed next to her as her attention focuses on her love. Her anger emerges as she snaps back to the spiders.
“What the fuck did y’all do to him?! Was it that asshole Ben Riley? I’m gonna kick his ass if he’s the reason my Miggy is in-“
“Cariño?” A soft mutter causes her verbal rampage to end as a pair of ruby eyes focused on her. Once she meets his eyes, an uncharacteristically soft grin comes over his face as he mumbles sweetly. “Hola, mi niña bonita, ¿cómo te sientes?””
“I’m fine.” The girl mumbles as she tries to keep her stern face while a little dusting of blush takes over. “What about you?”
Miguel chuckles at her face and gently reaches over and caresses her hand as he swoons, “Siento que puedo enfrentarme a un toro ahora que he visto tu hermoso rostro, mi amor.”
The group of spidermen looked at Miguel horrified as he looks up at them. Expecting him to snap at them or try and escape his restrains, but he doesn’t do either. He gives them a bright friendly smile as he cheers, “Oh, you guys made it out alright. I’m glad we are all still here together. Great job, everyone.”
Hobie backs up a couple of steps trying to calm his raging heart before he had a heart attack from the shock. Jessica looks at him disturbed as she silently records the duo on her phone to show her husband later. Peter calls Lyla on his gizmo as his face looses all color.
The AI emerges out of the gizmo with a cheery, “Hello~ you ringed?”
“What’s wrong with Miguel?” Peter snaps as he hears Sunny immediately yell at him about what he said about her Miggy.
“Oh I meant to warn you about that. Well the aggression is on a most case scenario kinda thing, not an every case thing. Since Miguel is more genetically altered with spider than Little Miss Sunshine, his natural aggression cancels out the one caused by the bio weapon.” The assistant explains.
Hobie laughs at this as he looks at the now confused Miguel, “So our big bad leader is as harmless as a kitten now?”
“Yep.” Lyla giggles. “And because our sunny pants there was as dangerous as a jumping spider before this, she’s now part of the majority percentaile.”
“What the fuck did you say about Migue, you twig?!” The formerly harmless girl bucks in her restraints as her protective nature causes her to want to thrash the punk star.
“Mi amor, por favor cálmate... No está tratando de ser grosero…” A now teary eyed Miguel tries to sooth his partner in a shaky calm voice.
That was when Jessica realized a mistake they made. When they restrained the pair earlier, Miguel was placed in titanium bands that crossed over his chest, arms, legs and hips. Since Sunny wasn’t considered a ‘major’ threat in comparison, she was just held down by some chains.
Because of this, the earth deafening sound of chains shattering cause all of the spiders to scream. The AI giggles as she responds,
“I forgot to mention that the chemical not only increases aggression, but also physical strength. In humans, they would just be slightly stronger than normal, but in Miss (Y/N)’s case…”
The rest couldn’t hear what else Lyla had to say as Hobie started booking it down the hall with a pissed off Sunny hot on his heels. Jessica frantically tries to undo Miguel’s restraints as he cries for his lover to come back.
Peter sighs and asks, “How much longer until the antidote is ready?”
“I can rush it for you. Should take another 3 hours hopefully.”
“Do you have any tranquilizers?” Peter asks as a now free Miguel tries to chase down his angry lover.
“No~”
~~~~~~~~~~
Translations:
Hola, mi niña bonita, ¿cómo te sientes? - Hello, my pretty girl, how are you feeling?
Mi amor, por favor cálmate... No está tratando de ser grosero…- My love, please calm down...He's not trying to be rude…
Siento que puedo enfrentarme a un toro ahora que he visto tu hermoso rostro, mi amor.- I feel like I can take on a bull now that I've seen your beautiful face, my love.
~~~~~~~~~~
Taglist:
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@whyareyoubored
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@luvil1y
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@kurxxmi
@lemoonandlestars
2K notes · View notes
genshinluvr · 11 months
Text
Prisoner of the Mind
Pairings: Various Honkai Star Rail Men x Isekai'd!Reader
Summary: You couldn't join March, Mr. Yang, Dan Heng, and Caelus on their trip to Jarilo-VI after Gepard and Sampo informed them of an issue in Belobog. The Astral Express is under attack, putting you and Pom-Pom in a dangerous situation, leading to you sacrificing yourself to save the train's conductor. Needless to say, the Aeon of Destruction was not too pleased about it.
Note: I have officially written the first hurt/comfort fic for the HSR one-shot series! I hope you all like this fic because I enjoyed typing it out, and it got me tearing up a little, not gonna lie! I have officially made a taglist for my Honkai Star Rail fics and series! It will be linked down below for those who want to be tagged in future fics (and along with past fics if you choose that option) ^^ Man, now I have to start planning this upcoming week's fic. I wonder what it will be 🤔 I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).
Warnings: Reader gets attacked, mentions of blood
Word Count: 7.4k
Mr. Yang, March, Caelus, and Dan Heng is off the Astral Express, leaving you with Himeko and Pom-Pom. You usually tag along with them when they go trailblazing or when they’re exploring other ships and planets. But unfortunately, you can’t tag along with them this time because they’re going on a dangerous mission, and having you tag along with them can put your safety at risk. You didn’t want to get in their way by getting hurt or putting a target on your back just by being there. Actually, that was a lie because you offered to tag along with them, and they didn’t want you to go with them.
“There’s nothing to worry about, [Y/N],” Himeko says, ruffling your hair.
You sigh and lean back on the chair, looking out the window of the Astral Express. The stars are shining, and Jarlio-VI looks the same as it has always been. Iced over and devoid of life. There’s something nagging at you, but you can’t put your finger on it. It doesn’t feel pleasant, and you’re constantly looking out the window to see what’s going on, even though you can’t see what’s going on down there on Jarlio-VI.
A few days ago, while traversing through space in the Astral Express, Caelus received a text from Gepard and Sampo. Something was going on in Belobog, and they needed help as soon as possible. You offered to tag along, but of course, your offer was shot down almost immediately by the three men.
“You’re not going with us,” Mr. Yang states, crossing his arms over his chest.
Your eyes widen with disbelief. “What?! Why not? This isn’t the first time I’m tagging along with you guys!” You exclaimed, frowning at the older man.
Mr. Yang looks at Caelus, Dan Heng, and March as if he’s asking them to help him. The three stare in return before looking at you. You had this big frown on your face, and your eyebrows were furrowed with confusion and maybe anger. You were more confused than angry because why would you get upset over them not wanting you to tag along? 
Dan Heng sighs. “Caelus received a text from Sampo and Gepard about the situation in Belobog. It won’t be safe if you come with us,” Dan Heng says.
You opened your mouth to retort but only to let out an apprehensive sigh. Caelus walks to you, grabs you by the shoulders, and gazes into your eyes while squatting down to your eye level. You turned your head to avoid his eyes, but Caelus grabbed your chin to make you look at him.
Caelus sighs and gives you a weak smile. “I know you want to come along with us, but we can’t have you come with us for your safety. The situation in Belobog is a safety risk for you, and we don’t want you to get hurt or caught in the middle of it all,” Caelus says.
How was it a safety risk for you when it’s also a safety risk for them? The only thing that’s different between you and them is that they have weapons, and you don’t. And you’re not from their world, but you’ve been adjusting to their universe just fine! With the help of your dear friends from the Astral Express, Xianzhou Luofu, and Jarilo-VI, you’re doing great at getting used to your new environments.
Caelus continues to stare at you with his honey-gold eyes. You sigh and close your eyes, turning your head away from Caelus. Caelus frowns and releases your chin from his grasp, turning to look at March, Mr. Yang, and Dan Heng helplessly. March clears her throat, approaching you and Caelus with a faint smile. 
“Oh, cheer up, [Y/N]! I know you want to tag along with us, but maybe you can stay back on the Astral Express just this once! Plus, it’s going to be somewhere freezing in Jarilo-VI, and I’m pretty sure you don’t want to be somewhere freezing while the four of us are out and about!” March says, propping her hands on her hips.
Damn, March isn’t wrong about that. You’re not a huge fan of the weather on Jarilo-VI, and standing in the blizzard while March, Dan Heng, Mr. Yang, and Caelus help Gepard and Sampo with the problems in Belobog is something you don’t want to do. An idea suddenly pops up in your head, and your eyes brighten. Since it’s Sampo and Gepard that contacted Caelus about the problem, you might as well hang out with Luka at Boulder Town Super League while they’re dealing with the situation.
You clear your throat. “Since the four of you, along with Sampo and Gepard, are going to be busy, can I hang out with Luka at the Boulder Town Super League?” You ask, bouncing on the balls of your feet.
Mr. Yang gives you a sympathetic smile and chuckles. “Sweetheart, Luka is going to be coming along with us as well. While we don’t have his phone number like you, Sampo mentioned bringing a friend with him for this situation,” said Mr. Yang. 
March, Dan Heng, and Caelus’ heads snap toward Mr. Yang’s direction after hearing Mr. Yang’s slip up. Mr. Yang didn’t seem to notice it, and neither have you. Instead of throwing a fit or insisting that you tag along with them, you sighed in defeat and nodded. It looks like your chances of visiting Jarilo-VI are nonexistent at this point. 
Caelus looks at Dan Heng, mouthing, ‘Sweetheart?’ only to earn a shrug from the black-haired man. Caelus clears his throat and nods. “Right, uh, Sampo mentioned a friend he’s bringing with him. As much as we would love to bring you along, we don’t want to give you a babysitter. Remember what happened last time?” Caelus asked, raising his eyebrows at you. 
You pursed your lips and rocked back and forth on the balls of your feet. Of course, you remembered what happened the last time you were assigned a babysitter. You got a golf ball-sized bump on your face with a bruise accompanying the bump. It wasn’t pretty, but you certainly met someone pretty that day. That person happened to be the friend of Sampo Koski himself, who is tagging along with your Astral Express and Belobog friends to the site of the issue. 
“That’s beside the point. As harsh as it sounds, you’re not leaving the Astral Express. You can join us when we’re heading to the Xianzhou Luofu, alright?” Dan Heng said.
You nodded glumly. You can’t help but feel like you’re being grounded for something you didn’t do. But you will do as they say and stay on the train. March ruffled your hair before draping her arms over your shoulders, pulling you in for a hug.
You hugged March tightly. “When are you guys leaving?” You ask, peeking from March’s shoulders. 
Mr. Yang replied almost immediately after you asked, “The Astral Express is heading there right now.”
“And how long will you five be gone for?” You ask.
“We don’t know how long we’ll be on Jarilo-VI. It can be a few days, a few hours, or longer than that, depending on the situation,” replied Dan Heng.
You frowned and pulled away from the hug, and sighed. There’s not much for you to do now. All you could do was hope for the best and that everyone involved came out unscathed and safe.
The conversation you had with your traveling companions was a few days ago, and they have yet to return to the Astral Express. You’re on edge and constantly check your phone to make sure they’re okay and alive. Luckily, they respond to your messages fast in the Astral Express group chat. The only time they won’t respond to your message is when they’re in the middle of something they can’t disclose. Of course, they let you know that ahead of time. And now you’re here, sitting on the Astral Express, looking out the window with zero interest.
Himeko sighs. “If you need anything, I’ll be in my cabin, alright? Feel free to stop by,” says Himeko, smiling at you before walking off after you nod.
Once you’re finally alone, you tilt your head back and close your eyes. No matter how many times you zoned out, time seems to be going slower than it is. You crack your eyes open and check your phone for the umpteenth time, only to see no notifications. Not even from Blade, Luocha, or Jing Yuan. Everyone is busy but you. Maybe a nap will take your mind off what’s going on, and maybe Nanook can keep you company.
After arriving at your bedroom, you plug your phone into the charger before collapsing on your bed and closing your eyes. You blindly reach for the lamp on your nightstand and switch the light off. Exhaustion soon overcomes you, your eyelids feel heavy, and you slowly drift to sleep. You didn’t know how long you were asleep, but when you woke up, everything was pitch black. 
You’re miffed that you didn’t see Nanook. You weren’t sure if Nanook was busy, but whenever you go to sleep, you always see Nanook. You didn’t think you did anything to make him upset, plus none of you have gotten off on the wrong foot. Something was wrong, and you don’t know what it is. You reach for the nightstand to turn the lights on, but it doesn’t turn on. You flip the switch repeatedly, but the room remains pitch-dark.
“Dammit. Is the lamp dead?” You sit up and blindly search for your phone in the darkness of your room. You turn your phone on to see that you got a message from Himeko.
1 Message from Himeko („• ֊ •„)
Himeko: “Hey, sleepy head! I got an urgent message from the gang, and they needed my assistance. Sorry to leave the Express without informing you about it. Remember to stay on the ship and do not leave! See you soon!”
You stare at the message that was sent forty-five minutes ago. You’re not sure if you should respond to Himeko’s message. But you didn’t want to leave her on read, so you typed out a message to the redhead.
Y/N: “Urgent message? Are they okay? I didn’t get a notification about it in the group chat…. Did they send the message to you separately?”
Message failed to send.
You furrow your eyebrows. That’s strange.
Y/N: “Himeko?”
Message failed to send.
You kick your blankets off your legs and run to the door. You swing the door open and freeze when you’re met with nothing but darkness. The only source of light was the starry skies shining from the window of the Astral Express. You clutch on your phone tightly, stepping into the pitch-black hallways, swallowing your fears. You turn your phone flashlight, shining it into the darkness that is the Astral Express. Is there a power outage? What happened to Pom-Pom? The thought of Pom-Pom hiding somewhere in the train makes you sprint out of the Passenger Cabins to the Parlor Car, mentally praying to yourself that Pom-Pom is at least safe.
The door to the Parlor Car slams open, and you run into the darkness, shining your phone flashlight while searching for the conductor. Despite there being windows in the train, it doesn’t make the train any brighter. You can’t hear anything else other than blood pounding in your ears. The silence is deafening.
You whimper out, “Pom-Pom? Are you there?”
You’re met with silence. Not even a peep from the conductor of the Astral Express. You hear something shuffling behind you, causing you to snap your head in the direction of the sound. There, hiding behind the chair, is Pom-Pom. Pom-Pom peeks from the chair, shivering with fear.
You sigh in relief. “There you are, Pom-Pom! I was so worried about you!” You said, jogging toward Pom-Pom.
Pom-Pom’s eyes widen, pointing behind you. “Watch out!” Pom-Pom shrieks.
Without thinking, you dive to the ground. You roll over to your knees and turn to look at the thing Pom-Pom pointed at. Right behind you was the Voidranger Reaver, preparing to strike again. You gulp and slowly take a step back, grabbing onto Pom-Pom and pulling the conductor into your arms. There’s no way you and Pom-Pom will be able to escape without getting a couple of cuts. 
There are so many questions you want to ask Pom-Pom, but your mind is racing and is all over the place. Your main objective is to try to escape with Pom-Pom and seek help. The Astral Express is no longer safe for you and Pom-Pom. Who knows what else is going to show up on the train. 
“Help is on the way! I managed to send out an SOS signal to Himeko and Welt. They should be back soon,” Pom-Pom says, tugging on your shirt.
“How soon?” You whisper, eyes scanning the darkness, searching for an exit. 
You’re fucked. You and Pom-Pom are doomed. There’s no escape. There’s no way for you to escape, and you’re fucking terrified. You want to cry. You’re shaking, but you’re trying your best to put on a brave face, but you’re not sure how long it’ll last. Whatever Pom-Pom was saying, it went in one ear and out the other. You grit your teeth, hugging Pom-Pom tightly to your chest before sprinting past the Voidranger Reaver.
The only safe place is your bedroom. You’re not sure if your bedroom door will be able to hold the Voidranger Reaver back. You’re not skilled in any weapon, it’s dark, and you don’t think Himeko and Mr. Yang will make it on time before something happens. You’re fucked. You’re fucked. You run to the Passenger Cabin, hearing the Voidranger Reaver sprinting after you.
You’re so close to your room. So close. You’re so close. Your feet hit the ground, Pom-Pom whimpering in fear, and the vicious growls from the Voidranger Reaver ring in your ears. 
You’re so close to your bedroom. Before you can reach your bedroom, you come to a complete stop, beads of sweat forming on your forehead. Two more Voidranger Reavers step out from the shadows, ready to attack you and Pom-Pom. 
“[Y/N]....” Pom-Pom whimpers, tugging on your shirt.
You pat Pom-Pom’s back with shaky hands. “We’ll be okay, Pom-Pom. I promise,” you whisper. An idea pops up in your head. “Please forgive me, Conductor.”
“H-Hey! Why are you apologizing?!” Pom-Pom exclaims, looking at you with wide eyes.
You didn’t respond. You lift Pom-Pom and throw him over the two Voidranger Reavers and toward your bedroom. When Pom-Pom lands on the floor of your room, the three Voidranger Reavers start attacking you. Slicing your body to shreds. The sounds of your scream echo throughout the pitch-black train.
Your vision blurs, blood pours from every cut on your body, your ears ring, and your legs give out from underneath you. The last thing you see before darkness consumes your vision is the lights turning on in the Astral Express.
Nothing can prepare Welt, Himeko, Caelus, March, and Dan Heng when they arrive at the Astral Express. Sampo, Luka, and Gepard offered to come and help after the five Astral Express crew members were able to help the trio with the issue on Belobog. The Astral Express was under attack by a couple of Voidranger Reavers, but luckily it was only a small number. However, they weren’t prepared to see the damages the Voidranger Reavers caused when they stepped onto the Astral Express.
Furniture was thrown around, and objects were thrown around and askew. There were no signs of Pom-Pom on board, and there were no signs of you in the Parlor Car. Everyone was hoping you and Pom-Pom were safe somewhere on the Astral Express, but the moment they stepped into the Passenger Cabin, time seemed to have stood still from there.
You were lying lifeless on the ground while three Voidranger Reavers continuously slashed your body. Blood pooled from beneath you, painting the floors crimson red as the smell of copper filled the air. The door to your bedroom is wide open, letting the others get a glimpse of the shaking and sobbing train conductor. Dan Heng was the first to attack the Voidranger Reavers, and others soon followed after. 
Once the three Voidranger Reavers were defeated and they all evaporated into thin air, Welt was immediately by your side, pressing his hand against your neck. There’s a pulse, but it’s faint. So faint that he can barely feel it with his gloves on— making him take his glove off and place his index and middle fingers on your neck to the side of your windpipe.
“Someone, contact the Xianzhou Luofu. We need all of the help we can get,” Caelus barks, covering your shredded and bleeding body with his jacket, attempting to stop the bleeding.
Caelus, Welt, and Dan Heng carefully lift you from the ground. March rushes over to a sobbing Pom-Pom, comforting the train conductor while rushing Pom-Pom out of the Passenger Cabin. Gepard, Sampo, and Luka look at one another, not saying a word.
Sampo runs his trembling hands through his hair. “They’re not going to die, are they? Please tell me they’ll be okay,” Sampo whispers, biting on his bottom lip.
“They’ll be okay. They have to be! There’s no way any of us will let them slip from our fingers,” Gepard replies, his hands shaking.
“How can you be so sure? [Y/N] lost so much blood! The floors are literally painted with their blood,” Luka mutters, his eyes never leaving the pool of blood on the once pristine floors of the Astral Express.
The only thing they can do is wait to arrive. While Dan Heng, Welt, and Caelus are trying to put pressure on your wounds to stop the bleeding, Himeko struts through the hallways of the Astral Express with Jing Yuan, Luocha, and Blade following close behind. While Himeko mainly contacted Luocha about the situation, Luocha was quick to inform Jing Yuan and Blade of the state you’re in. 
“Hand them to me,” Luocha states, holding his arms out.
Welt, Dan Heng, and Caelus carefully lower your body in Luocha’s arms before watching the blond man disappear to your bedroom to tend your wounds. Jing Yuan and Blade stare at the bloodied floor. There were bloody handprints on the walls and floors of the Astral Express. You tried to put up a fight, but you were outnumbered and were brutally injured by the Voidrangers Reavers. 
Jing Yuan sighs, rubbing his temples. “How did this happen?”
Blade chuckles humorlessly. “And I thought the Astral Express was safe for [Y/N] to stay at, but I was wrong,” Blade mutters.
“I understand we’re all tensed and worried about [Y/N], but now is not the time to start an argument. I don’t care who you are or what you mean to [Y/N]. They’re in their room, fighting for  their life right now, and you think it’s a good time to start something?” Gepard demands, glaring at the long, dark-haired man before him.
Blade’s red eyes flicker to Gepard’s face, staring at the Captain of the Silvermane Guards wordlessly. Blade clenches his jaws, walking over to the closed door of your room. He leans against the wall, closing his eyes, trying to listen to any sound that comes from your room. He hears nothing. 
“Cheer up, everyone! On the bright side, Mr. Yang was able to feel a pulse. The downside is waiting for them to recover,” Sampo says, rubbing the back of his neck.
Luka sighs, closing his eyes. “While we wait for Luocha to treat [Y/N]’s injuries, we should organize and clean up the Astral Express while we wait,” Luka comments.
Everyone was reluctant to leave the Passenger Cabin to organize the furniture of the Parlor Car. The Parlor Car took less damage and wasn’t nearly as horrendous as the Passenger Cabin. Pom-Pom had a hard time trying to resume his duties as the conductor of the Astral Express. All Pom-Pom wanted to do was to check and see if you were okay. Still, the others prevented him from entering the Passenger Cabin because the Passenger Cabin was going under a deep clean.
“[Y/N] will be okay, Pom-Pom. You have nothing to worry about. Luocha is tending [Y/N]’s wounds right now, and he should be finished soon,” Jing Yuan reassures Pom-Pom.
Pom-Pom sniffles, blinking at the General while his bottom lips tremble. The others don’t know what else to say to console the conductor. Pom-Pom witnessed you get attacked mercilessly. You willingly sacrifice yourself to make sure Pom-Pom is safe and out of harm’s way. While scared shitless and fearing for your life, you put someone else before you because you would rather take the hit than have someone take the hit for you.
“I’m going to make sure there aren’t any breaches on the train,” Blade mutters, walking away from the group.
After what feels like days, Luocha steps into the Parlor Car, looking visibly relieved. Everyone immediately stands up, walking to the blond man. Luocha rubs his temples, letting out a deep breath. 
“After five hours of treating [Y/N]’s injuries, [Y/N] is now in a stable condition. If any of you are going to stop by and make sure they’re okay, please keep your voices down while they rest,” Luocha instructs.
Luocha turns around and walks to your bedroom, with everyone following. The Passenger Cabin is clean, and there aren’t any traces of your blood left behind. The smell of cleaning solution and air freshener wafts through the air, drowning the smell of your blood that barely lingers in the air. Luocha grabs the handle to your room and slides the door open. One by one, each person steps into your dimly lit bedroom. You lay on your bed, sound asleep. Bandages wrap around your body from the neck down, while small bandaids patch up the smallest cuts on your face.
“How long will it take for them to recover?” Sampo whispers, turning to look at Luocha.
Luocha shrugs, sighing. “That’s the issue. I don’t know how long it’ll take for them to recover. [Y/N] is in stable conditions, but now it’s up to them on when they will regain their consciousness,” Luocha replies. 
Gepard takes a step toward your bed, grabbing your frail hands and brushing his thumb over the bandages wrapped around your hands. To any other person, you look like you’re asleep, dreaming about anything. But to the others, it seems like you’re lying on your deathbed with one foot in the grave. It’s terrifying. To see you in such a state scares everyone. 
Gepard clears his throat. “And you said they’re in stable condition, correct?” Gepard asks, keeping his eyes on you.
Luka clears his throat. “I believe Luocha mentioned that a few times already, Gepard,” Luka comments, approaching the blond man and standing by his side.
Poor sweet Gepard. The once cool, calm, and collected Captain of the Silvermane Guard has a hard time trying to digest the image before him. Gepard is trying everything in his power not to break down in tears in front of everyone around him. You almost died. You were standing in front of death’s doorsteps, ready to walk through the doors, leaving him and the others for good.
But you didn’t walk through those doors. Luocha managed to heal you and patch your wounds, preventing you from taking your last breath.
Jing Yuan sits at the edge of your bed, tucking you in your bed and brushing your hair away from your face. Jing Yuan sighs, caressing your cheek. “What horrors did you face before your unfortunate fate?” Jing Yuan whispers, scanning your unconscious face.
Everyone remains silent in your room, staring at your unconscious body. Welt, Dan Heng, and Caelus can’t help but drown in guilt. You wanted to join them, and they wouldn’t let you tag along with them due to safety concerns. But look where that landed you in. You’re injured, you were so close to death, but Luocha was able to save you and prevent that from happening.
Everyone starts to slowly and reluctantly leave your bedroom. Before they leave, they would squeeze your unconscious hand and whisper apologies for not arriving on time and for failing to protect you. Everyone is ridden with guilt. Soon enough, you’re left alone in the comfort of your bedroom.  
You jerk up with a gasp, only to find yourself in someone’s muscular arms. You look up to see Nanook. The Aeon stares down at you while cradling you in his arms. You blink at him and rub your eyes sleepily, looking around the void. You freeze when you realize you’re not your regular height. You’re almost the same height as Nanook. You and Nanook are covering the sun and the sky. 
Nanook tucks your hair behind your ears, kissing the shell of your ears, sighing. “How are you feeling, little one?” Nanook whispers.
“I’m tired, but I’m also confused,” you murmur, closing your eyes.
You and Nanook sit in silence. Nanook runs his fingers through your hair, rubbing your back and holding you close to his chest. There’s no space between you two, but you didn’t mind it. It feels nice to be in someone’s arms. It feels nice to be held. You’ve been yearning for someone to touch and hold you. You can’t help but notice your entire body feels tingly. You shift around in Nanook’s arms, opening your eyes to look down at your body. When you did that, you let out a choked gasp and jolted in Nanook’s grasp, startling the Aeon of Destruction.
You hold out your arm, looking up at Nanook. “Nanook... What’s going on!?” You whisper.
There are stars decorating your skin from head to toe. The stars glitter on your skin like diamonds and precious gems. It’s all over your body, and you don’t know what to do, nor do you know how it got there. You try to wipe it off your skin, only for it not to budge. It’s like you have an entire galaxy scattering across your body.
Nanook grabs your chin and tilts your head up. “The stars are healing you, little one. You were gravely injured back on the train. I couldn’t bear to see you suffer,” Nanook whispers.
You swallow the lump in your throat. The Astral Express. The attack. Pom-Pom. You sacrifice yourself to save Pom-Pom. All of it happened so fast that you could barely process the thought of it. Wait a minute, you’re not dead, are you? Sure, Nanook said the stars are healing you, but what about your physical body outside of your mind? Outside of the void?
“I’m not dead, am I?” You whisper.
Nanook snorts, shaking his head. “No, sweetheart. You’re not dead, little one. Your physical body is currently recovering. That blond man was able to heal your injured body,” Nanook says, kissing your forehead.
You close your eyes, sighing in relief. You’re so glad you’re not dead. 
“Besides, I wouldn’t let you die. Not on my watch,” Nanook mutters.
You smile, wrapping your arms around Nanook’s torso and sighing with contentment. It’s just you and Nanook in the void. No dangers lurking in the corner, no one to bother you. It’s just you and Nanook surrounded by the glittering stars of the abyss, enjoying each other’s presence in silence. 
While you’re with Nanook, your physical body has healed back to its original form before the attack. No scars are left on your body, and there are no bruises and small cuts. You look good as new. Luocha did a fantastic job at healing your body, and he would like to pat himself on the back for that. Despite your body being fully healed and in perfect condition, you did not wake up.
You’re still unconscious, but it’s like you’re sleeping instead of being in a coma. You move around in your sleep and react to the sounds around you, but you have yet to open your eyes since the attack. 
“I thought they would regain their consciousness by now,” Blade mutters, sitting at the end of your bed while staring at your unconscious body.
Luocha sighs, getting up from your bed and crossing his arms over his chest. “While [Y/N] is physically healed of their injuries, it’s up to them to decide when to wake up from their unconsciousness,” says Luocha.
“But it's been days since the attack! How much longer are they going to be unconscious? Are you sure [Y/N]’s okay?” Sampo asks, looking at Luocha pleadingly. 
Yes, it’s been days since the incident, and there are no signs of you waking up any time soon. Yes, you react to the noises around you, and yes, you’re physically okay and have healed from your injuries, but you’re still not awake. March wanted to make sure you didn’t wake up and then go back to sleep to play tricks on everyone, so she would check up on you every other hour (if she wasn’t asleep).
Everyone has decided to stop by your room to visit you every day, making sure you’re still breathing. Luocha even took that chance to make sure there weren’t any internal injuries or bleeding, and thankfully, there were none. You’re physically okay, but mentally…. They’re not sure about that.
“They must’ve been so scared in their final moments,” March whispers.
Caelus gives March a look. “March, why are you putting it that way? It’s like you’re implying [Y/N]’s dead!” Caelus scolds the pink-haired girl.
March huffs, crossing her arms over her chest. “Well, it’s been days since we last saw [Y/N] open their eyes! Not being able to text them, talk to them, hang out with them feels like an eternity!” March exclaims.
While unconscious, you still managed to pick up every noise around you. You flinch and whimper in your unconscious state, eyebrows furrowing. Mr. Yang looks at March and Caelus, shaking his head with disapproval.
“March, I understand you miss them, but you need to remember that we can’t control when they can regain consciousness,” says Mr. Yang.
Dan Heng pinches the bridge of his nose before approaching your bed. He sits at the edge of your bed and stares at your unconscious face. The longer Dan Heng stares at your face, the more he realizes something is off.
“What’s that?” Dan Heng asks.
Gepard walks over to where Dan Heng is standing, watching the black-haired man gently grab your face and tilt your head to the side. The others crowd behind Dan Heng and Gepard, staring at your face while trying to see what Dan Heng is looking at. If anyone were to blink, they would’ve missed it because it was quick to appear and disappear. 
Gold runs through your veins across your face. The pattern reminds them of thunder. It starts at the base of your neck, slithering up and across your face before disappearing. Gepard gently nudges Dan Heng to caress your head. Gepard pulls your eyelids up, and alas, the color of your eyes changes from your original eye color to gold.
“Could it be….?” Gepard trails off, furrowing his eyebrows with concentration.
Gepard blinks, and your eyes return to their original color. Blade turns to look at the other men, his chest puffing with anger while gritting his teeth. He clenches his hands into tight fists until they turn white underneath his gloves. 
“Is it possible for Nanook, the Aeon of Destruction, to hold [Y/N] as a prisoner in their mind?” Blade asks.
Jing Yuan chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest. “Now, now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We can’t be certain that Nanook is holding [Y/N] a prisoner in their mind. It’s possible that the Aeon is doing that, but [Y/N] sustained many injuries, and it’s possible their body is keeping them in a comatose state for them to fully heal mentally and physically,” Jing Yuan explains.
Luka hums, shrugging his shoulders. While Luka may have known you for a short time compared to the other men, he doubts Nanook is going to harm you. Before meeting you, Sampo and Gepard would describe you as “Nanook’s chosen one” to Luka. It’s a ridiculous title, but it’s the best they can do to describe how important you are to Nanook. They would praise your beauty and mention the strong connection they feel to you when they’re with you and when they meet you for the first time.
“What if Nanook is keeping [Y/N] asleep because he’s worried about their safety? Like Blade said, it’s possible for Nanook to keep them as a prisoner. I don’t think prisoner isn’t the best way to describe the situation, but Nanook has never hurt [Y/N], has he?” Luka asks, turning to look at the eight men.
Mr. Yang sighs, shaking his head. “[Y/N] never mentioned anything about Nanook hurting them in any way. The only thing we know is that Nanook is very fond of [Y/N], hence why they’re in our world in the first place. Nanook would communicate with [Y/N] through their dreams every time they fall asleep,” Mr. Yang explains, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
While the men are discussing the situation and what they all have witnessed, in your unconscious mind, you’re lying against Nanook. You don’t know how long you’ve been with Nanook, but you like the peace and quiet. While you love being in the void with Nanook, basking in his presence, light touches, and affections, you can’t help but find the void a little bit dull and boring.
How does Nanook deal with this alone? Maybe Nanook is used to it because he’s been around for thousands of years compared to you, a newcomer. You move away from Nanook, grabbing the Aeon’s attention. You sigh, looking around at the sparkling stars in the night sky. Nanook peeks at you, gazing at you worriedly when you let out an apprehensive sigh. Nanook wraps his arms around your waist, pressing his bare chest against your back.
Nanook presses his lips against the shell of your ear. “What’s wrong? Why are you sighing like that?” Nanook murmurs, massaging your hip bones while resting his chin on your shoulders.
How do you tell Nanook that you know he’s keeping you in your “dreams” for a long time? You tried to wake up, but you can’t. You have tried many methods of trying to wake yourself up from this never-ending dream, only to fail in the end. You love being with Nanook, and you don’t mind being in the void with the Aeon, but you can’t possibly stay here forever, can you?
“I know you’re keeping me here, and you’re not letting me leave,” you said hesitantly.
Crap that sounds bad. You didn’t mean for it to come out that way. Think, [Y/N], think! You turn to look at the Aeon of Destruction, who gazes at you blankly. Even though Nanook is gazing at you emotionlessly, you can’t help but feel intimidated by the look he’s giving you. You gulp and grab Nanook’s hands, squeezing them.
You smile at him. “I’m not upset with you for wanting to keep me here. I want to know why you’re keeping me here and refusing to let me wake up,” you murmur.
Nanook sighs, releasing your hand before backing away from you. You let your hands fall to your side as you watch him grow in size. It took you a few seconds to realize you’re back to your original size, and Nanook is now towering over you, still covering the sun and the sky. Fuck, Nanook is not upset with you, is he?
“That is none of your concern, little one,” Nanook states, crossing his arms over his chest.
You frown. “It is very much my business, Nanook. You’re keeping me here with you when my physical body is lying on my bed, unconscious, while my friends are probably wondering why I’m still not awake!” You exclaim.
You wince when your voice echoes in the abyss. Nanook stares at you with a deep frown. You sigh, turning away from Nanook and walking away. You didn’t get far. A hand grabs your wrist, turning you around to face the hand that belongs to a certain Aeon. Nanook, now standing before you, is frowning at you. While he’s the size of a regular person, he continues to tower over you like the men you call your very friends. You assume Nanook is the same height as Jing Yuan but maybe slightly taller than the white-haired General of the Xianzhou Luofu.
“Your friends failed to keep you safe. They left you alone on that train, and what happened? The Astral Express was under attack, and it nearly cost your life!” Nanook growls. “You’re safer here with me than you are with them! Why should I trust them to be around you when they failed at something they were supposed to do in the first place?!”
Tears blur your vision, and you look away from Nanook. Nanook sighs and caresses your face, wiping the tears that slowly make their way down your cheeks. He pulls you into his arms, wrapping both arms around your shoulders while caressing the back of your head and kissing your forehead. You wrap your arms around his waist, burying your face into his chest.
“I’m sorry for raising my voice at you, my precious gem. Witnessing you getting attacked and not being able to do something about it hurts me deeply. I thought I could trust your traveling companions to protect you, but I was wrong,” Nanook murmurs. 
You tighten your grip around Nanook, squeezing your eyes shut. It’s not Nanook’s fault for not being able to protect you, nor is it your friends’ fault either. They wanted you to stay on the Astral Express to protect you, and it was going smoothly until the Astral Express was under attack. It wasn’t like they could predict what was going to happen to the train while they were away.
You swallow the lump in your throat, rubbing Nanook’s back. “It’s no one’s fault, Nanook. My friends were trying to protect me from the dangers on Jarilo-VI, but they didn’t think the Astral Express was going to be under attack. Please don’t blame them or yourself. It’s no one’s fault,” you whisper, pulling away from the hug.
Nanook stares at you. A deep frown remains on Nanook’s face while his eyebrows are furrowing with frustration. You gingerly reach up to Nanook’s face, rubbing his eyebrows, causing the Aeon to stare at you with confusion. Nanook grabs your wrist, raising an eyebrow at you. You and Nanook stare at each other in silence.
“What are you doing?” Nanook mutters, tilting his head to the side.
You clear your throat, lowering your hands awkwardly. “You were furrowing your eyebrows. I thought I should smooth the scrunch away,” you reply.
Nanook smiles with amusement, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and burying his face into your neck. “Stars, I don’t want to share you with anyone else.” Nanook thinks, squeezing you so tight you swear your back might pop. “Why can’t I have you for myself?”
Nanook snaps out of his thoughts when you call his name softly. 
“Are you alright?” You whisper, carding your fingers through his soft, luscious hair.
Nanook exhales deeply through his nostrils, nodding in response. Nanook doesn’t want you to regain your consciousness outside of the void. He can keep you here for eternity for all he’d like, but that would be selfish of him to do so. But why does it matter? Nanook is the one that brought you into this universe in the first place! Why do other people have to interfere and develop feelings for you too? It’s simply not fair. Nanook wants you for himself, and he doesn’t want to share you with anyone.
POP!
You groan and pat Nanook’s biceps to grab his attention. “You just popped my back, Nanook. Are you sure you’re okay?” You ask, lightly pushing him away to get a clear look at his face.
Nanook quickly apologizes and peppers your face with small kisses. You sigh and lean into his arms while he sways side to side with you. Your eyelids begin to get heavy as you slowly fall asleep, your vision turning black, and the last thing you feel is Nanook kissing your forehead.
The voices around you are muffled, almost like you’re underwater, and they’re above the surface. As you regain consciousness, you realize the voices around you are bickering. You groan and smack the nearest thing, earning a loud yelp.
“Ouch! Gumdrop, why did you hit me?!” Sampo whines.
You crack your eyes open to see nine faces peering down at you. Dear Aeons, you did not expect to see nine faces staring at you while you were unconscious. You rub your eyes and try to sit up. Sampo tackles you into a hug, squeezing you tightly. You groan when you feel your back pop. Gepard and Luocha grab Sampo by the shoulders and pull the indigo-haired man back.
“Be careful! [Y/N] is still recovering from their injury,” Gepard says, shaking his head with disapproval. 
Luocha kneels beside you and brushes your hair from your face. “How are you feeling, Stardust? Any aches and pains?” Luocha asks, eyeing you closely.
You move your arms, move and stretch your legs. So far, you feel fine as ever! “I feel okay. Nothing is hurting, but I do feel like I need to go to a chiropractor,” you say, rubbing the knot in your back.
“[Y/N]. We’re so sorry this happened to you. You wanted to join us, and we didn’t let you accompany us to Jarilo-VI because we wanted to keep you safe from danger. Instead, the Astral Express was under attack, and you were gravely injured,” Caelus says, grabbing your hands and squeezing them.
You shake your head. “It’s not your fault. None of us knew this was going to happen, Caelus. No one is at fault,” you whisper.
“We feel guilty for what happened. We’re not leaving you on the Astral Express alone next time. You’re safer with us than you are alone. Whether you’re on the Astral Express or not,” says Dan Heng.
You open your mouth to respond, but the lights in your room flicker on and off. The men standing around your bed tense up and form a barrier around you, drawing their weapons. The silence in your room was loud, so loud that everyone in the room could hear heavy footsteps approaching your room. The door swings open and enters a towering figure.
You peek between Jing Yuan and Blade’s shoulders, eyes widening when you see…
“Nanook. What are you doing here?” You whisper, getting up from your bed.
You’re about to walk toward Nanook, but Blade and Jing Yuan block your way, glaring at the Aeon of Destruction. Nanook raises his eyebrows at Blade and Jing Yuan, crossing his arms over his bare chest. Nanook clears his throat, watching the nine men stand around you while gazing at the Aeon warily.
Nanook sighs. “Since your…. Friends…. Can barely protect the one I find most precious and hold dear to my heart, I might as well join you on your journey across the universe,” says Nanook.
Blade clenches his jaws. “Oh? The Aeon of Destruction is joining us in our journey?” Blade sneers, tightening his grip around the sword.
“Should we trust him?” Luka whispers, not taking his eyes off the Aeon of Destruction.
Nanook merely rolls his eyes and walks toward the group, reaching over Blade and Jing Yuan to grab you. Nanook wraps his fingers around your wrist, pulling you forward. Nanook wraps his arms around your waist and kisses the side of your head, refusing to take his eyes off the group behind you.
Jing Yuan pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue. “Keep your guard up at all times,” Jing Yuan instructs, keeping his eyes on the Aeon.
Perhaps you should’ve stayed a prisoner in your mind. The tension between your traveling companions and Nanook is so thick and awkward. You don’t know what to do other than be caught in the middle of the ten men. Nine of the men are glaring at the Aeon while the Aeon is running his fingers through your hair, gazing at the fuming nine men with mirth. Oh, this is going to be interesting. 
Note: I hope you all like this fic! Nanook is officially physically in the fic! >:D I wonder what's going to happen now that Nanook is physically in the fic with everyone now! Also, I hope you Luocha wanters have Luocha now! I have Luocha after spending money because Welt ended up coming home instead of Luocha 🥹 Got me spending all of my stellar jades too 😔 anyway! For those who want to be tagged in upcoming HSR fics, I have finally made a taglist form right [HERE]! Oh, and for those who want to, my discord is officially opened! This link is temporary and will expire after seven days. If you want to join, here is the link to [Zhongli's Abode]! If you like the server, you can stay! If it's not your cup of tea, then you can leave whenever you want! Please make sure to read the server rules when you join the server ^^ To my new and/or returning readers, please keep in mind that I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!
Taglist for the HSR fics: Will be tagging people when the taglist form is filled out :)
Read more of my works on my Masterlist | Maybe support me by tipping me on Ko-Fi or by reblogging my fanfics! ^^ I will also be posting exclusive fanfics on Ko-Fi as well very soon! I might post all of my stories on there too, but who knows. You can also tip me on Tumblr if you'd like as a way to show support! ^^
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kuiinncedes · 2 years
Text
i found a fic doc i have called "kslahgdhghdjfhgdkffkalgfj" (to be fair a lot of my fic doc titles are along those lines XD) but i have absolutely no recollection of what this is lmao
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highhhfiveee · 6 months
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please i need some dubcon mike schmidt ..,,, like he picks up drunk reader from a party n takes her home n fucks her throat ..,,, ‘you’re so easy to control when you’re all stupid like this’ ..,,, she’s got tears streaming down her face n she’s clawing at his thighs but he just holds her head in place n strokes her hair n tells her how good she’s making him feel ,,
okay okay okay. shiver me fuckin timbers lmaoooo. this is so brothersbestfriend!mike. switched it up a little but i hope you still enjoy! [had this set to post at 12 but tumblr failed me lmao]
sangria
tags: brothersbestfriend!mike, fem!reader, intimate touching, choking, wild dick sucking, deep throating, spitplay, degradation, dubcon (reader is plastered, and while she does consent to be taken advantage of, she is still under the influence); mike is such a protector and i'm starting to think that this is megasub!reader x protector!mike in addition to bbf! [let me know if i missed anything + this has been proofread but there’s always still a chance for mistakes lmao]
link to the original fic, mimosa, here 🍹, and the first part of the finale here, tequila sunrise, here 🍸
okay, so maybeeeeeee you two didn't actually get caught that day.
you’re panting in each other’s faces as you come, clean yourselves off, and exit the shed like your brother's best friend hadn't made you squirt all over the garden tools and pool supplies.
the feeling of mike's come pooling in your bikini bottoms makes you tingly all over again, and you're squirming while you both ease your way back into the fold of cookout attendees, diverting into separate paths so no one can catch onto your attachment; clandestine and kept between the eyes, lips, and bodies of you two only.
you'd wished mike nothing but hell while you were away at school, doing anything you could to get the thought of him out of your head. even though you'd been the one to catch feelings, you never wanted him to have any part of you ever again, restricting him from you.
you'd wanted him erased from the entire galaxy then, but from the cookout forward, nothing excited you more than the thought of being mike’s plaything. you snuck around with him more than you should've; giving him handjobs in the backseat of his car, letting him eat you out in your bedroom with the door open---risky things that made your heart pound with adrenaline and need, a rush to the very end.
you could only get that feeling with mike. it made you sick to your stomach with taboo butterflies, fantasizing about all the ways he could have you thrashing, eyes rolling back, toes curled until your feet cramped.
he'd hooked you on him once again, and this time, he'd decided to go with the flow. he wasn't pursuing anything with anyone else, and feelings had begun to bloom in him. nothing like love, he'd told himself (even though your flirty smile made his heart palpitate before making his dick hard), but like...safeguarding.
you were young, unversed with life, vulnerable; mike could see people taking advantage of you, mistaking your soft, impish act for total naivete. even though he'd hurt you himself, he'd never allow anyone else to treat you that way, or put you in a situation to harm you. there was this urge in him to keep you safe, keep you protected from the mean world that ate girls like you for breakfast.
mukrrrrrrrrrrrr
molwwwwwwwwww
gahdmn i cant tYpe LoL
exhibit a.
y/n are you drunk
….
………..
…………………………….
y/n
4 F R E E dwinks
downnnnnnnnn thw hATCH
pArTyz rool xp
mike's about to ask about your location when your picture floods his screen, phone vibrating in his hand with a call. he answers it with a displeased, "where are you?
"she’s at 8203 harrington circle," someone yells over loud, bass-riddled music and scattered conversations. mike hopes it's a friend of yours, and not a complete stranger. “she was fine, but i think that fourth drink tipped her over!"
mike's been putting on clothes and grabbing for his keys and wallet since your first text message, already sulking to his car as your friend finishes her statement. "stay with her and keep her upright, i'll be there in fifteen."
he can't get rid of the deep scowl etched on his face while he drives, both hands clasped tensely on his wheel at ten and two. he wants you to have fun, of course. he isn't going to tell you not to go to parties, or not to drink---you’re your own person, and he has no right to tell you what you could and couldn't do, but something about you utterly hammered around so many people you probably don't know makes his heart pound against his ribcage with agitation.
harrington circle was a street on a state school campus, one that you'd opted not to go to all that time ago. maybe you'd known some people there, but mike was sure you didn't know your way around, where to go if something went wrong...
he pulls up to a tall, red brick house smack dab in the middle of a cul-de-sac, immediately throwing his car in park and exiting when he sees two girls walking alongside a guy carrying you out the front doorway. he has his hands hooked under your armpits, pushing your boobs together and "covertly" staring at your amplified cleavage as he leads you down the short stone path.
your head lulls back a little, and you're smiling up at the sky with your eyes closed and your cheeks flushed to death. your legs drag under you, and mike's quick to grab for your waist, removing you from that perv's grasp with haste and a grimace.
you droop into him, body leaden with alcohol, and he slides one arm under the back of your knees, bending his own to lift you into a bridal style hold.
you squeal as he turns away from the house, throwing your arms around his neck and dreamily sighing at the way his hands feel carrying you, strong and vigilant and possessive. "mikeeeeeee," you mewl, pulling yourself into him so you can nudge at the column of his throat. your words are slurred almost beyond comprehension, and he commands one of the girls to open the passenger door so he can ease you inside.
he sets you down in the seat, or at least tries to, whispering, "let me go" when you keep your arms wrapped around him. the position has him hunched over, and it hurts his back so badly, but you whimper, "nooooo, want you close" while nearly making him trip and fall across you, splaying his entire body over yours. he smells so good, all warm and musky and mike, and you don’t want to separate from him.
"y/n, please. i wanna get you home," he reaches back to wrench your arms off of him, placing them in your lap and closing the door before you can complain. he walks around the front to the driver's side, monotonously thanking the girl who'd helped you as he grumpily enters the car.
he grabs for your seat belt, stretching it across your torso as he does his own and drives away from the annoyingly illuminated house and party commotion in silence.
you're so gone, but even drunk, it's unsettling to you how quiet mike is, keeping his eyes focused on the road without a hint of a glance or a word to you. his jaw is clenched deeply, and he's stiff as a board against his seat, so opposite from his usual sullen, suave nonchalance. you frown at him, fingering with your strappy, well-tied sandals. "hey, grumpy,"
"not grumpy," you huff at his tone, sour and unwavering, and wiggle your toes as you finally free them from the entrapment of footwear. "i'm fine."
"you've gotten very, very bad at lying," you demur. your head slacks again, but this time against your headrest. you ogle mike through the film in your eyes, digging your teeth into your bottom lip. "mad at me?"
mike writhes in his seat, his jaw muscles flexing at your coy lilt. you know how to manipulate him with your words, sweetening them in just a way that would have mike bending to your will. the way you're gazing at him with your big, unfocused eyes makes him makes him press down on the gas a bit harder.
"i'm not mad," he mutters, all pseudo-nonconfrontational and collected, but you know that he's not telling the truth. something about the circumstances bothers him, and you want to know why. the car comes to a stop at a red light, mike shaking his head as he scrunches his face and rubs his eye with a knuckle. "forget about it."
"i won't. don't like me having fun without you?" he doesn't answer, staring ahead at the empty streets around the two of you. it was so late, nearly 2 am, and it only fuels the exasperation he feels burning in his stomach. he doesn’t like you out here like this, without him to keep you out of harm’s way.
"is it the drinking?" you pout, frustrated with the way he's ignoring you. "i admit, maybe four drinks was overkill, but i feel sooooo good. my body feels like..." you make a subtle buzzing noise, similar to tv static, and cut it off with a giggle, reaching over for one of mike's hands while the light turns green.
you inch it towards your lap, dragging it across the skin of your thigh that skims the end of your skirt, mini and gold and matching with the white corset top you wore. "you should feel."
"y/n..."
"c'mon mike," you pout again, dipping his hand between your opened legs. you let out an astounded moan when his cold fingertips connect with your bare clit, and now he's scowling at the fact that you’re not wearing any panties. he thinks about how many people would keep note of that, combined with your docile, inebriated state, and see it as a way in. it’s clear, with how those drinks have you begging him to ease his fingers into you, caressing your tight, warm walls so he can add another check to "car" on the list of places he's made you squirt. “don't want you to be mad at me anymore."
"i'm not mad at you, y/n," he finally says, fingers still against your skin. you're soaking his seats, the excess of your slick dripping down to the cloth, and he has to pull himself out of thinking about someone else feeling you in this way. his eyes stay low on the road as he continues, "did you know anyone at that party?"
"mhm, like one person." mike sighs, a low grumble in his throat. he pulls his hand away from you, putting all of his attention on driving so he can get home. he just wants you inside, away from the world and in his charge. he doesn't say anything for a long while, eventually taking a deep breath and mumbling, "just want you safe, y/n. i'm glad you called me to come get you. there are bad people out there, and i don’t trust them in situations like this.”
"yeah," you purr, leaning against the center console and resting your head on the side of his seat. "you're my knight in shining armor, hmm? keeping me away from all the bad bad people looking to destroy messed up princesses like me?"
mike side eyes your tone, nearly scolding you for treating it like a joke and not something that could actually happen.
"...that's one way to put it, but seriously—-“
"wanna be destroyed though," you interrupt, unbuckling your seatbelt once he cuts the car off in the driveway. he’s turning to you, dark eyes gazing towards your pouted lips. you're reaching your hand across his lap, massaging it over the press of him in his sweatpants. “especially by you. wanna be your little fucktoy. let you use my messy holes however you want because they're yours."
your filthy mouth and shameless confession have mike turned on and hard and thinking about how you've called your holes his. he's seeing you bent over the couch, stuffed to the hilt with his fingers pressed against your tongue while he smirks down on you, veins coursing with lust. he squeezes at your hand, and says,
"let's get you inside, okay? then we can talk more about my messy fucking holes."
you're dizzy, giving him a big, woozy smile and letting all the craving you feel inside pour out through your glazed over eyes when he swoops you up again, carrying you and your shoes to his front door. your arms are back around his neck, and you're placing soft kisses on his lips, jaw, and chin as he drops your shoes by the entrance and carries you all the way to the couch, settling his body into one of the corners.
you're adjusting yourself on him so your bare mound drips over his thighs, and he's got his hands around your hips again, digging his fingers into your flesh as you mindlessly grind against him. you're still kissing against his lips, so uncoordinated and sloppy, and he pulls on the wispy strands at the nape of your neck, disconnecting you from him so he can leer at you with a look that tells you he will be destroying you tonight, guaranteed. "no panties was really bold of you, baby."
"can’t have panty lines in this skirt," you frown, placing your hands on mike's shoulders for leverage to move on him a bit harsher, eventually grazing them over his back and arms as you do. "not cute."
"but it's really not cute for you to have my holes on display for anyone to have, especially not when you're like this."
"mikey, please,” you coo, hunching down to press wet, suctioned kisses on mike's bare neck and rolling your hips into the weight of him. he feels so good against you, and you're aching, the alcohol sending shocks to your clit with every second of friction. "want you in me or something. no more talking, just use—-.”
"aht, don't rush me. trying to get you to understa---" one of your hands goes from roaming his shoulderblades to placing pressure around his throat, shocking him stiff against the back of the couch.
he doesn't think anyone has ever choked him before, and while his eyes burn at you with frenzied astonishment, you're causing him to have a revelation. his dick pulses against the material of his sweatpants at the feeling of your dainty hand squeezing his throat, and he's reaching to grab your wrist and bring your hand down before he comes all quick like he’s 18 again. you stop him with your other hand, coming in close to his face.
there's such a ferocity in your stare, and he knows that you're not going to let him lecture you all night. you need him to fuck you, need him to do something with you and your drunken arousal.
"are you really gonna keep talking, or would you rather just fuck my throat?" you slide your arms down his back, lips placed by his ear as you whisper, "show me how depraved people really can be when i'm like this."
he knows it's sick, but it doesn't take much past that for mike to have you on all fours beside him on the couch, back arched into a 45 degree angle as you drool all over his lap. you're begging for it, whining about how good he feels in your mouth, and he doesn't want to miss an opportunity to give you something you want, even though you're in this state. he's glad that it's him using you in this scenario, and not someone genuinely looking to hurt you. it's his rationale for giving in to your immoral desires.
you pull away from your mess with a sharp inhale, your jaw trembling as you sit up and give mike an eager, spit-slick smile. your eyes are even more distant than before, and it's almost like you’ve checked out. mike can see all the brashness and attitude you give him on the regular is gone, currently replaced with servitude and the intent to please, nothing less.
"wanna feel you ruin my throat, mike," you rasp, grabbing his dick in your hand and stroking at the soft skin, suckling on his tip as you flash him the hunger you feel inside through a grin. "please."
he's silent, having a quarrel with himself as he takes in your blank, mindless expression. it’s so wrong of him, but you look so pretty like this, and he reaches out to hold your cheek as you pout at him again.
"pleaseeeeee," you whine, tears nearly welling in your eyes. "want you to wreck me, use me however you wanttttt. gonna be your obedient, drunk little whore, do whatever you ask."
mike loses all resolve then, and demands you to drop to your knees in between his own. you're quick to assume the position, letting him put one hand on the back of your head and feed his dick into your throat.
"shouldn't like this," mike mutters, wrapping your hair up into a ponytail with both of his hands, watching you rub his dick over your face after slipping it from your mouth to spit on it. he almost can't take you like this, spacey and pliant and all his to destroy. so drunk and willing and--- "shouldn't let me take advantage of you like this."
your face is stained with tears and spit, streaks of dried liquid overlaying your burning cheeks and swollen lips. the neckline of your top is soaked too, saliva glistening on your chest.
"maybe i wanted it," you muse, winking leisurely as you wrap both of your slim hands around his base, smirking up at him. "maybeeeeeee i went and got plastered cause i knew you’d come get me if i called," you're feeding him into your mouth again, and without warning, mike is holding your head stationary, shoving his hips up into your warm mouth while you gulp every time he hits the opening to your throat. of course you'd do something like this. your admittance makes mike feel a plethora of things, good, bad, ugly, but right now, all he's focused on is making you feel like the toy you wanted to be.
"you're a fucking slut, y/n," he hisses with gritted teeth, throwing his head back as he feels you open up for him, allowing him to raise his hips and sink further into you.
the muscles of your throat flutter around his length, and it makes his toes curl, tangling together in his socks. "only sluts go to a party to get drunk so they can be turned into pretty little fuckdolls later...like being fucking mindless for me, huh?"
"love it, mike," you whimper, laying your tongue flat so his dick can slip in and out of your mouth with less resistance. it's covered in thick spit, a droplet resting on the tip, and mike leans down to collect all of it in his own mouth with a sloppy, obscene kiss, before releasing it all over his pelvis with a groan.
it was a fucking mess, and he loved it. he knew you loved it like this too, and your enjoyment of the raunchiness is reflected in the way you patiently wait for him to plunge his dick in you, eyes twinkling with everything and nothing at the same time.
your hand is moving under your dress, fingers stroking along your sodden walls, but he doesn't care; not when your eyes are rolling back into your skull as his dick infiltrates your throat again, filling the room with a persistent gluckgluckgluck as he rhythmically slams your face into his base.
you're sure you'll have no voice after this, but fuck, will it be worth it. you're basking in every second of this, so happy you decided to go out tonight. you were unexperienced in some ways, but you knew how to get to people, or at least to mike. you could get him to do whatever you wanted under the guise of him being in control, and all it took was a bit of sweetening with your voice, a flutter of your eyelashes and a crooked, "innocent" smile for mike to be wound your finger, abusing your face in a way you shouldn’t have dreamt of. you're running out of breath, and your fingers dig into his thighs with the message, but he ignores you, gripping your hair so that your mouth gently snaps up around him every time he pulls his hips back. the sensation is godly, and mike's not sure if he deserves this really. you'd fallen so hard for him at one point, and he'd crushed your hope to be with him under his thumb, but now you're here, letting him have you like this despite those memories. he's lucky, for whatever force is keeping you in his orbit.
"letting me do this to you while you're fucked up...letting some older guy take your throat like you're just free use...you're not getting into heaven," you laugh around him, forming your mouth into a makeshift smile as he slowly slides you off of him, overstimulated by the ridges of your throat muscles clinging to him. he doesn't want to come on your face, not this time. he wants you to beg for him to come in you, for him to fill you until you're overflowing, leaking down your thighs while he gives you more and more and more and more...
"i know," you mewl, pretty face smeared with saliva and pre-come. "i'll be in hell with you. wouldn't have it any other way." mike sits up, thumbing at your bottom lip and hissing as you unhinge your jaw and suck the tip of it inside. your eyes are getting dimmer by the second, but you're still wanting everything mike can give you.
he won't stop until you say so, and he strangely finds himself buzzing with lust at the thought of you bossing him around for his pleasure and yours. how had you gotten in his head like this?
"go in my room and strip, baby. sit in the middle of the bed and don't move." you're on your feet in a flash, clumsily dashing down the short hall without a look back.
it gives him time to get some towels, a washcloth to clean your face up, some lube, and grab waters for the both of you, thinking about all the ways he's gonna contort you. he might even make you watch in the mirror, make you take in your glassy eyes and lack of autonomy, the way you're letting him, your brother's best friend, have you in such an obscene way.
he cracks the door open with all the items in hand, and scoffs when he sees you naked, but stretched out on the bed, mouth hanging open with soft snores.
he walks over to the edge, dropping the things he's holding onto the comforter and shaking your shoulder softly. "baby," you lurch awake, murmuring "huh?".
you blink the bleariness out of your eyes as he uses one of the towels he brought to wipe off his drenched groin, and he smirks at you. you two are done for the night, and that's fine with him. something about your small figure, safely sprawled against his sheets has him seeing hearts and stars and rainbows and everything else he's tried so hard to push away.
when he's dry, ditching his shirt and boxers, he leans against his headboard, cradling you in his arms and lap as he begins using the washcloth to wipe at the dried spittle on your face. "here," he announces, cracking open a water bottle and bringing it to your lips, tilting it so you're able to get some water between them without much effort.
you swallow the sips he gives softly, wrapping your arms around his neck again. you loved being skin to skin with him, and right now, you felt tranquility.
this is but a fraction of that 100% he wanted to give, you think. something has changed in him, and now he wants to show you care. he still wants you to need him, need him to keep you protected from the world outside while he corrupts you in his own. you want that, too.
"mmmmmmm, you're so boyfriend," you muse, placing pecks on his collarbones as he continues cleaning you up. he's able to maintain a pokerface towards you, wiping at your cheeks with passive strokes, but inside, he feels nothing but chaos. why does he like hearing you call him boyfriend, like having you in his arms like this? why did it all seem to fill a hole in his heart, one he always thought would stay a cavity?
"really do love you, mike," you add, staring at him full on now. you might as well be sober, with your attentive, doe-like eyes. "tried hard not to, but i do."
you've broken him down, so easily, and somehow, he's giving into you with a deep, irrevocable sigh. he has nothing else to do but finally accept the truth.
"me too, y/n. me too."
this was rough for me to write because my brain just couldn't work properly, so i hope it's not the dogshit i think it is lmao hope this satisfies you anon!
faire's seedlings ✿
@leahdhopkins4321-@pyr0-kai-@angstywhore-@sunazroo-@nyxthoughtss-@mirophobic-@fayethor-@marixsimps-@regretfulme-@ithinkitszeph-@707xn-@cattt777-@violetta-ximena-@amnesia33-@topnerd03-@fastnights-@laprvphette-@savage-aespa-@mfdxz-@0-tatiana-0-@dusstory-@delwrites-@mikeschmidtgf-@jun1p3rlol-@xyzstar-@aquamarine001-@atrociouslybear
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sweetenerobert · 4 months
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hey yall!
soooo there is a situation with gracieispunk and i had a long time ago and with all this drama going on i felt like it was time to explain my side of things.
story under the cut
months ago (if you were on tumblr in september) i wanted to write a maintenance man joel x male reader but, since i started on wattpad i wanted to make sure i got gracie’s explicit consent before even writing it, around september i texted her, but she never responded.
it’s now october at this point and my friend tags me in a WIP game so i post my drafts and along with my drafts i post my maintenance man draft and at this point i couldn’t figure it the title for the of my fic so i just put “maintenance man — maintenance man!joel” and then i wanted to give me asking her another chance, so i went in here ask page and see if she was able down to talk.
she responded to my WIP and finally we got to talking
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*here are the screenshots and proof that it was september that i first texted her in september, proof that she responded to my WIP game and then we talked
as you can see, she blocked me shortly after that, this is when i had a full blown panic attack and i had to call one of my best friends that helped calm me down and made me realize some things, but i couldn’t help but see if gracie had posted something about this situation, and she did.
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but a couple days had passed since the situation (this happened in like a span of a week might i add) and a lot of people, whom i’ve talked about the situation with, has stated that people can’t own a character or anything and i made the conclusion that im still going to write maintenance man joel for the male audience, a whole different thing, inspiration and plagiarism are two different things!
the male community is tiny compared to the community that i don’t write for. i would understand if i was just stealing her idea, word for word, but that’s not me. at all.
i forgot to mention that a bunch of authors that i had looked up too, to come out of my shell in the writing world had blocked me, i don’t know what gracie told them, but all that i know is that a lot of authors blocked me, maybe they had their own reason, i don’t know.
but, all of this drama with basically putting small writers down, i would like to say i was one of them in a sense, where i literally almost quitted my future career. but im glad i told people about the situation and everything, because if i hadn’t, i possibly would’ve deleted tumblr and not made any of the friends/acquaintances that i have now.
so if you wanna hate me? go ahead. support me? i love you. shit on me? make me feel bad about myself? try it, i do it every day. i’m not posting this out of hate for no one at all, im just here to write and have a good time.
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wingwaver · 10 months
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A few tips for new Tumblr users wanting to write here
Yo if you're here from Reddit or Twitter or some other site and just wanted to give this a shot you may have seen some blogs that are dedicated to writing headcanons or short fics or even original works for their own OCs and you may be thinking "hey I wanna give that a shot! I like to write!" then I have some tips to make it easier on you and people who see your content.
1. First off, if you're writing a pretty long piece the you should probably put it under a read more, it'll look like this on mobile
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and this on desktop
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or you can write :readmore: on a line by itself and press enter.
2. Now if you're gonna write for a whole bunch of different fandoms and you wanna make a master list then I suggest making an actual list with the fandoms you write for and then making more lists with the actual content as a you go along because you can only have 100 links in one post (I know that sounds like a lot but as someone who has around 300 Transformers things written trust me you fill up a post quicker than you expect, especially if you take requests from other people). The way I typically do it is like this
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The first pic is the MASTER master list that lists everything I write for and when they're underlined like that it means they're links. The second pic is after clicking the G1 link, it's a separate post that has the actual fics and headcanon links. Note the 6/100 in the tags, this is how I keep up with how many things I've added. You can of course just use the numbers options from here
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or just number them manually from your keyboard like I'm doing with this post. Adding links has no barring on what else you add to the post so you can add yourself some fancy header or divider pics if you want.
3. Adding links! Links can look like this https://www.tumblr.com/wingwaver/721887224846778368/test-post-for-reasons?source=share or like this https://wingwaver.tumblr.com/post/721887224846778368/test-post-for-reasons depending on whether you're linking from mobile or desktop/browser Just highlight the text you wanna add a link to and a the little chain will move to the end, click it and paste your url you want to link to and press add link, then press post/save draft/save (whatever the blue button says)
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Now you've successfully linked a post to another post!
4. Tagging! To get your fics and headcanons seen to build an audience you usually wanna tag the stuff correctly. If you're posting a fic about Miles Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright from Ace Attorney then you'll tag it with #Ace Attorney, #Miles Edgeworth, and #Phoenix Wright in the tags area. But it's also a good idea to mention if it's a ship or general fic in the tags too. If so then putting ship names and #Miles Edgeworth x Phoenix Wright and #Miles Edgeworth/Phoenix Wright in the tags will help everyone know this is a ship fic. Tagging with characters or fandoms that aren't apart of the fic just clogs the tags for people looking for content of said characters and fandoms so it's very looked down on here and will likely get some of your stuff reported for spam so only use the relevant tags. Also tagging for triggers can be tricky here because of how fucky tumblr is but please don't tag censor tags. Tagging things like #a**** or #a*use or even #abu$e doesn't work here because people who have #abuse blacklisted will be able to see this content because it wasn't tagged properly. Also if you're writing for OCs or reader inserts it's common courtesy to tag those appropriately too. Someone looking for a reader insert may not want to read an OC and vice versa. Also many people filter those out so try to add tags like #x reader, #*fandom name* x reader, and #*character name* x reader for easier filtering. Also people cruise those tags too so it'll help people who fo want to read that content find your stuff!
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noxturnalpascal · 4 months
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My 2023 Fanfic-Wrapped
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I only really started reading Pedro fanfic in April or May, I got started on some of the well-known fics on AO3 that were recommended on tiktok. However, one of them brought me to tumblr (because I wanted to see more from this author, I wanted to see their moodboards and their sneak peeks). And I haven’t left since.
I even decided to try my hand at writing as well. It’s been a LOT of fun. (My masterlist is here if you want to see all the weird shit I wrote so far). Thank you to everyone who has supported me in all my efforts and to all the friends I've made.
I wanted to create this list to highlight some of my faves this year. If you haven’t read these, they all come highly recommended by me.
I'll be reblogging everything on this list throughout the day. If you’d like to reblog this post and add some of your own favorites from this year - PLEASE DO!!!  I would absolutely love to get new recs!! Let’s share the love!!
In no particular Order - Here are some of my favorites from the year!
Fave Writers (I’ll read anything they write)
@toxicanonymity (joel miller masterlist) Personal Faves: NightWalks!Joel, Vamp!Joel (both Ongoing)
@theywhowriteandknowthings (masterlist) Personal Faves: Creep - Joel, Princess and the Duke - Dave York (Ongoing)
@chloeangelic (masterlist) Personal Faves: Love Me Back - Joel, Seeking What is Desirable - Joel (Ongoing)
@goodwithcheese (masterlist) Personal Faves: The Layover - Frankie, Paranoid Heart - Javi P (Ongoing)
@beskarandblasters (masterlist) Personal Faves: Me and My Husband - Din Djarin, New York or Nowhere - Bodega!Joel (Ongoing)
@absurdthirst (masterlist) Personal Faves: Kinktober 2023 Oct 15th - LactationKink!Dieter, A Marriage of Convenience - Regency!PeroTovar, (they have SO many good ones)
Fave Ongoing Series
Mall Rats (Jackson-era!Joel) by @strang3lov3
Oh! Honey (Monster!Joel x Mortician!Reader) by @lincolndjarin
Hard to be Soft, Tough to be Tender (Pimp!Joel) by @iamasaddie
On the Waterfront (Chubby!Mafia!Frankie) by @beefrobeefcal
The King’s Queen (Royalty/ArrangedMarriageAU!Javi G) by @wardenparker
From Eden (PlantShopOwner!Joel x Married!F!Reader) by @5oh5
A Lover’s Pinch (Professor!Joel x Student!Reader) by @hier--soir
Into the Beat of the Night (Bi!Frankie x afab!gn!OC) by @perotovar
Fave Finished Series
A Stranger’s Heart Without a Home (Jackson-era Joel) by @morning-star-joy (This is the one that brought me to tumblr. Doni created this beautiful story and it has a very special place in my heart.)
Late Night Texts (Post-Colombia Javier Peña) by @undercoverpena
Someone’s Wife in the Boat of Someone’s Husband (Married!No-Outbreak!Joel) by @netherfeildren
Something New (SexWorker!Frankie) by @prolix-yuy
Something Wretched About This (DrugDealer!Joel) by @covetyou
Pioneer Frankie (A series of stories about Pioneer!AU!Frankie) by @frannyzooey
Trial & Error (No-Outbreak!Joel helps Tommy & reader get pregnant) by @thetriumphantpanda
Pleased to Meet You (Meeting Francisco Morales - twice) by @intheorangebedroom
Fave Characters
Husband's Best Friend Joel Miller (with Married! Reader) (HBF!Joel) by @gracieispunk
Jackson-Era Vampire! Joel Miller (A Secret Worth Keeping) by @multiversed-daydreamer
Soccer-dad No-Outbreak Joel Miller gets a racy text from an unknown number (The Right Wrong Number) by @proxima-writes
Demon! Ezra (with Witch! Reader) (In Every Lifetime) by @xdaddysprincessxx
Protective Jackson-Era Joel Miller (A Safe Haven) by @joelsgreys
THROUPLE Frankie x Joel x F!Reader (Catalyst Masterlist) by @ezrasbirdie
Sleezy Gas Station Joel *MC* Miller (Meet Me in the Back) by @atticrissfinch
Porn Star Joel Miller (with Porn Star Reader) (I Know it When I See it) by @bageldaddy
Fave Dark/DDDNE Fics (These fics aren’t being put in the corner but they do come with some very special warnings so I wanted to separate them)
Trick or Treat? (DDDNE Dark!Frankie Morales x Dark!Joel Miller x Dark!Dave York x F!Reader) by @morallyinept
Bullet For You, Darlin’ (DDDNE Dark!Raider!Joel Miller) by @kewwrites
Online Friends (Cherry Bomb) (Dom!Joel, online/phone sex) by @walkintotheriveranddisappear
Blessed Be the Fruit (Dark!DubCon! Joel Miller - Handmaid’s Tale AU) by @romana-after-dark
Red Light (Dark!Obsessive!DubCon! Landlord Joel Miller) by @kiwisbell
The Burglary (DDDNE burglar!Joel Miller x f!reader x burglar!Tommy Miller) by @milla-frenchy and @aurorawritestoescape
I don't know man.... I just know I like it
Menuet (It’s an animal/shapeshifter/monster fucking thing (Pero Tovar) that fundamentally changed who I am as a person) by @psychedelic-ink
Liquid Gold (Joel - and Tommy? - help Pregnant!Reader out when an issue arises) by @gasolinerainbowpuddles
Get a Grip (Watch Model!Joel Miller x Manicurist!Reader Hand/GloveKink!) by @bonezone44
Mother Who Provides (Mommy!Kink Joel gets breastfed) by @pedge-page
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Goodbye 2023, See you all next year!!!!
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sexc-snail · 5 months
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"The One" - Shanks x reader
A/N: fuck you I write x reader fanfic now, don't get used to it. Shanks is kinda obsessed with you and maybe even a little out of character but it's cute. (Loosely) Inspired by "Billie Jean" by The Civil Wars, a huge thank you to the lovely @fanaticsnail for introducing me to the song to prompt this fic.
This was meant to be posted on Christmas Day but Tumblr didn't want to register paragraph breaks between the separate dot points and thought I had pasted a single long paragraph, which breaks the text character block limit and blocked me from posting or even saving as a draft.
Summary: You meet Shanks at the tavern where you work who promptly flirts with you, insisting that he is "The One". Naturally sceptical of such a charismatic pirate's charms being true, you keep your distance by insisting that you'll only be the one he dances with, nothing more. Except he keeps coming back, and it's getting harder and harder to remember to keep your guard up as he continues to dance with you for nights on end. Then one day a boy comes and everything threatens to fall apart.
Word count: 3,426
You’d met Shanks at the tavern where you worked.
You were wiping down the bar, boredom and the stifling heat suffocating you until you were polishing the same spot repeatedly until you would have sanded it into a small dent had you not been interrupted
The door suddenly slammed open with raucous laughter, a crowd barging into the room headed by one man
Red hair tickled his neck, framing peach fuzz that decorated a bright smile, warm brown eyes (one with a set of three scars across it) that made you think of honeyed tea, an unbuttoned shirt putting tanned skin on display.
The man shouted to the room, “first round’s on me lads!” generating loud applause
He paused in the middle of the crowd, turning his head with furrowed brows until his eyes landed on you, and he grinned.
He navigated the crowd with the natural skill of a fish through water. Like it was his habitat.
Leaning over the bar with his charming grin he asked your name and gave his own. Shanks. But you wouldn’t need to know it, seeing as all you had to know was that he was “The One”.
That made you raise your brow.
Naturally sceptical of such a flirt (and particularly one with such electric magnetism that commanded the room) you denied it. But when he jutted his – perfectly soft and plump – lip out in a pout the thought of denying such an opportunity outright tugged at your chest.
In a compromise you had offered to be ‘the one’ he could dance with at the end of the night, assuming that by the time you’d managed to have a break from serving the rowdy crew he’d be too drunk to care.
Except that wasn’t the case. He’d nursed a beer the whole night, and when you’d offered to refill it he’d refused. Stating he didn’t want to give you more work and prolong your dance. You’d scurried away before the flush in your cheeks could get any worse.
By the end of the night, most of the crew had escaped into the night or lay slumped in chairs, and Shanks had offered his hand.
You’d expected different – expected him to press against you, swaying to a fast beat, holding you tight. To be honest the idea gave you a little thrill. If you could get it out of your system maybe then you could sweep away the flutter in your chest with the justification that you were right and the cheap satisfaction of one sinful night.
Except, as before, he surprised you once again. One hand held yours in a soft grip while the other rest against your waist. Never drifting lower, in a touch so light it was almost hovering yet present enough that you could feel its warmth through your clothing. Only leaving you wanting more
Maybe that was his plan then. Teasing you until you succumbed to his whims. But then there would be no need for him to actually move you around with purpose, even lifting your clasped hands to twirl you once. And you swore you could hear him humming along to the music anytime you happened to brush closer.
By the end of the night you managed to pull yourself away with what you hoped was a calm demeanour, feeling his calloused palm brush against your own as he pressed a quick kiss to the back of your hand before you managed to escape entirely
When they left you thought that was the end of it. One fleeting night. One ‘almost’. One slip in your defences
Except he came back after a couple weeks.
You were out back when he’d returned, only for one of your coworkers to approach you with a sly look saying a gentleman had asked for you by name.
Initially you were suspicious. Wary, even. And you should have remained so once you saw who it was. Yet the flutters in your chest won the battle and a smile and a blush crossed your face before you had a chance to school your expression.
Shanks was waiting at the bar. Drink untouched before him as the condensation gathered on the wood. You didn’t even think he knew it was there, his attention flitted about the room without sparing it a glance before his eyes landed on you.
His face lit up, and you had a hard time reeling in your heart as you reminded yourself of his natural charm
Once again, he asked to be “The One”, and once again you specified that he could be the one you danced with, but nothing more.
Once again, he took you to the dance floor, and once again you felt your heart glide alongside you as this time he took to leading you about the room, treating it with the dimensions of a ballroom but still taking care to keep you with him as he effortlessly wove through his drunken crewmates.
This continued for a while. He would ask to be your “One”, you would compromise on a dance, and he would lead you with such care and passion that you almost forgot why you were so opposed to the idea of him being “The One” anyway
Each time he left he promised to continue coming back until he had finally convinced you. And each time he returned you believed it a little more.
His dances ranged from light-hearted jigs, to exaggerated twirls and sways, to the simple aimless meandering
You usually waited until the end of the night, when less prying eyes would see you vulnerable – somehow you never fret about Shanks seeing you vulnerable. With him it didn’t feel like a sacrifice, it felt like a comfort.
There was of course the odd time where he’d allow more passion to sneak into the dances, holding you closer and moving with more fluidity than before. Good Gods above that man could move his body like water. These dances were more fuelled by playful fun and passion of movement, and though the fast beat made your hearts race and skin flush as your breaths came out in quick pants you never felt pressed to do more, despite the underlying tension filling the air.
Once, when you had somehow had a lull in your shift, he had even managed to convince you to join in a circle dance with the whole tavern, crew and villagers alike mixing together as they traded partners. Each time you felt him pass you – having grown so attuned to feeling his body near you that you could sense him even when he was behind you – as you joined another dancer you resisted the urge to turn to him. To reach out.
Funnily enough, by the end of the night you hadn’t even danced with him and he’d asked for a solo once you finished work. That was the first time he stayed past closing, even helping you shift the chairs and finish up. Leaving the bar with just you two in it
He held you close, swaying on the spot as he hummed a tune to compensate for the lack of music once everyone had left
He didn’t try to convince you to dance with others after that night.
One night you were upset. As much as you loved your island it felt stagnant. Like hibernation. And you mourned for something that was never yours – adventure.
Of course this would be the night that Shanks returned, and even his presence couldn’t sway your foul mood.
He began to ask his question when you interrupted him to deny him, but he quickly continued. Asking if he could be the one who gets to talk to you. No dancing necessary.
Something about his soft voice, and his consideration for your feelings broke the dam and you spilled everything to him before you even knew what you were saying. Confessing how lonely and unfulfilled you felt. How you longed for more. How you felt trapped.
He listened without judgement, offering a reassuring word here and there to make sure you knew you weren’t bothering him, weren’t being ungrateful, were allowed to feel this way
By the end of your rant you felt a lot better than you’d expected to. You offered him a dance in thanks, but he shook his head.
“This is enough.”
That night, he walks you home. That night, your relationship shifts.
You still restricted yourself to dances, but now there was a current of some kind in the air between you. Even when you didn’t dance you felt it.
It was becoming harder to remember why you held such reserve in the first place
And then you were reminded
A young boy with dark raven hair and a scar below his left eye – in the same place as Shanks’, smiles up at you. Only coming up to your knee, he introduces himself as Luffy
He tells you he came here on the Red-Haired Pirates ship and your heart sinks
Of course. You knew this was coming and yet you were still stupid enough to let your guard slip. To be fooled by a man – a pirate! – and his flirtations when it was only ever a game to him. Either he had a family – a son and a partner – that he returned to when he wasn’t using you for his own entertainment. Or he shirked the responsibility of his son and partner, and didn’t care about them as he flirted his way through bars.
Honestly, you don’t know why you expected more.
No… that was a lie. You did know why you expected more. It was because it was Shanks. The man who snuck his way into your heart just to break it before you’d even known he was there.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear, the door to the tavern swings open.
You see his mouth open and before he has a chance to speak, to poison the air with his silly little question you allowed yourself to be fooled by, you cut him off. Scolding him for allowing a child out of his sight to wander a strange new island alone and end up in a bar
Confusion crossed his face, and you tried to ignore the cute scrunch of his freckled nose, before his eyes landed on Luffy who was happily slurping down a bowl of ramen at the bar, his feet swinging beneath him on the high stool.
A myriad of emotions flashed across Shanks’ face. Confusion, shock, anger, before he looked back to you. Seeing your hardened glare, his head swivelled back to Luffy, then back to you, realisation crossing his face before it settled into an expression of fear.
“I didn’t—that’s not—he’s not—” your eyes narrowed further and a sneer curled your lip before you quickly shook your head, shaking off the emotions, and turn to leave.
You had turned the sign to ‘closed’ once Luffy had shown up. Your coworker had called in sick earlier that day so it was just you on the drinks. You could live one night without manning the bar.
You can’t go back to your house. He knew where that was. So you ended up wandering the streets until you found a sufficiently out of view back alley to wallow in
Shaking hands fisted at your hair as you buried your head between your knees. Eyes screwed shut tightly so you wouldn’t have to see the tears you could feel falling.
Stupid. You were so stupid.
“Do you have any more of that ramen?”
Jolting back with a start you crouched in an almost defensive position. Scared of the captain that would follow the boy.
He was alone. At least that was some luck in your string of unfortunate events.
“No. I make it for myself for when I have a long shift and need the lunch.” Sniffing ugly globs of snot back into your nose you scrubbed at your eyes, hoping he wouldn’t see the damage.
No need to be mean to the boy, it wasn’t his fault.
“Are you hungry? There’s a takoyaki stall around here.”
You ended up buying Luffy seven sticks of takoyaki before you told him the vender had run out, and maybe it was your reddened eyes and blotchy cheeks but she went along with your lie, sparing your wallet
Luffy asked a lot of questions – often with his mouth full – about Shanks’ adventures, about how pirates were supposed to eat takoyaki, about you. He even seemed to recognise you after a moment
“OH, you’re the dancer! Shanks told me all about you!”
That gave you pause.
“He did?”
Luffy nodded furiously, “Yeah, he said not all treasure is gold or maps or gems and junk. Treasure is what you search for and want most of all. Then he said something about his dancer having his ‘one’ but he wasn’t yours so he was going to bring you a ‘one’, or maybe kill you a ‘one’… something like that, I think. He didn’t say one of what though.”
Luffy picked at his nose absentmindedly, before noticing he was walking alone
“Hey, why’d you stop?”
“Luffy… why did your dad bring you here?”
Luffy scrunched up his face, looking at you like you’d started yodelling in the street.
“My who?”
Oh my God.
“How did you get here, exactly?”
“I snuck onto Shanks’ ship while he was docked at our island.”
Oh my God. You have to go back right now.
Quickly scooping Luffy in your arms you ran back to the tavern. Entering through the staff’s entrance you plopped Luffy down in the kitchen, telling him he could eat the (cooked) food to his heart’s content so long as he didn’t run off again and stayed quiet.
Shanks was slumped at the bar. Head pressed against the wooden countertop as his left arm – no, left shoulder – attempted to shield him from the world and his right arm twisted a hand in his hair in a grip that had to hurt.
When had that happened?
He didn’t seem to hear your approach.
Gently, as if you were handling the most precious and delicate treasure in the world, you reached for the hand clenching his hair.
Your fingers just barely grazed his when Shanks jerked upright with a start. The force sent him wobbling off his stool and you worriedly reached to steady him, only for him to near throw himself at you. His right hand grabbed your left, though he quickly loosened his grip before you could even register how tight he grasped you, only leaving a pleasant tingle where he had squeezed. Always ever so careful about your comfort. His right shoulder reached for you as well, taking a few second to register that there was nothing connected before dropping back to his side. He stared at you, letting silence pass for a beat as his eyes refused to leave you, seeming to not blink or breath.
You heart reached for him, and this time you followed it. Your fingers threaded with his and he gasped as if he was suddenly doused in ice cold water.
“You’re here! I thought— I thought you were jus’ in m’ head – you were in my head – but you’re here—”
He seemed to remember why you had left in the first place.
“He’s not my son – I mean, he’s a great kid and he’s definitely gonna at least take over the world or destroy it someday—”
“Shanks.”
“But he’s not mine— I would never do that to you—”
“Shanks.”
“I would never do that to anyone, but least of all you,”
He was rambling. The Red-Haired Yonko Shanks, the same man who’d sept you off your feet and swung you around sticky wooden boards with enough suave to make it seem like he was gliding across a stage was rambling. And stuttering.
“-and I should have said something sooner—”
“Shanks!”
He sucked in a quick gasp, watching you with bated breath.
Okay. He’d been brave enough for the both of you. Now it was your turn.
Your right hand reached and rested on his shoulder, far enough to avoid aggravating the potentially tender area but close enough to convey the message of touch. You brushed your thumb against his intertwined hand gently.
“May I be the one to have this dance?”
His face sagged in relief and his eyes swam with wet adoration. Half chuckles shook his body as he brought himself closer to you until you felt his laughter on your face. Lifting your hand from his shoulder, and rushing once you saw the kicked puppy look flit across his face, your caressed his cheek with your hand.
Feeling his beard tickle your palm you moved your hand backwards to thread through his hair – treating it with care as you smoothed out where he’d been wringing his hand through previously.
Satisfied, you curled your hand around the back of his head and pulled him to you until his forehead pressed against yours.
“Will you let me be the one to dance with you?” You prompted again
“Sweetheart,” he sighed out, “If I ever say no to that, feel free to take my other arm.”
“I was meaning to ask about that—”
“Later.” He rushed out, bumping his head against yours to brush your noses together.
Later, then. For now? You danced.
“Come with me.”
It was a whisper. The only reason you caught it was your close proximity, the sentence fanning across your face as he dragged his nose to leave a peck to your temple and nuzzle into your hair. He didn’t whisper out of shyness or insecurity. Rather a reluctance to shatter the moment you shared with unnecessary noise.
As if sensing your confusion he continued, this time his lips brushing against the shell of your ear with every word.
“On my ship. Sail away with me.”
You began to pull your head back to look at him, moving the hand around his neck so you’d have room to part, but he chased after you, causing you two to stumble slightly and – instinctively – your hand reached out to steady the both of you. Wrapping your right arm behind his waist, all the way around to rest your hand on his other side to hold you two closer together to his wishes.
“I’ve been thinking of it ever since that night.”
That night. So it wasn’t just you.
“I’d keep you safe. Take you anywhere you wanted to go. I’d never let you feel lonely, or trapped, or stuck. And if you did I wouldn’t let you feel it alone. I’ll do my best to keep you happy, I promise. I’ll never let you doubt the way I feel about you ever again. You’re the one for me. You’re it.”
“Shanks,” You breathed. He paused, right hand tightening its grip around your left
“Ask me.”
His breath hitched with excitement
“Will you please let me be the one for you, sugar?”
You smiled, turning your head to chase his question, and when you gave your answer this time, you breathed it against his lips.
“Yes.”
Bonus:
“Also, I lost the kid.”
You snorted, “that should definitely have been higher up on your list of priorities,”
“I had other things on my mind!” His voice rose an octave in defence. “Besides, the kid can take care of himself.”
You pinched his side lightly, where your arm wrapped around his waist, and he let out an exaggerated hiss of pain
“That’s not how kids work, but luckily he doesn’t have to.”
Shanks furrowed his brows in confusion.
You lead him to the kitchen, only to find small raven-haired boy passed out among bowls and bones of meat. His belly (quite a lot larger now) rising and falling in tandem with a bubble of snot on his nose.
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spockandawe · 1 year
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Here's a big project I've been sitting on! All That You Love Will Be Carried Away, by our very own @ceruleancynic! And a box, naturally, building boxes for books continues to bring me immense joy.
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What we have here is not just the main fic, or the main series, but also All That You Love (The High Hope Remix) alt pov short fic by byzantienne, and, a detail that I was really excited to include: the initial comment exchange between these two fantastic authors of m the first fic in the series. Did I title that second little book 'all that you meet cute will be carried away' as a silly placeholder? Did I then get super attached and refuse to change it? Uh-
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Hell yeah, I refuse to be dignified about any of my favorite hobbies!
But the real secret delight here was that I've been looking for the right opportunity to get weird with boxes. Peller boxes, hinged slipcases, yes, fine, but those are like the box version of my sixfold book adventure. I'm still shooting for some parallel to my fourteenfold book, I'm looking for a way to go completely off the rails. I have some ideas, but it's hard, finding a good large chonk and a small number of equally sized texts, which made a unified and complete set, AND which excited me to work with. That might sound unnecessarily picky, but I swear, there was a good reason for it!
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Oh baby. Oh baby.
This worked out so perfectly. I wanted a large book at the center of things. And I wanted two small books oriented in a different direction, placed end to end, at its edge. And I got it! I didn't want to commit too early, and it would have been heartbreaking to fail, but once the big book was together, and the preliminary typesets for the two little books were almost identical? I just HAD to try.
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Tumblr is already silencing me and refusing to let me attach as many images as I want, so for this post, let's talk about the main book a little! Cute little quarto bricks are my new FAVORITE favorite thing, as I'm sure you can guess from my archives, and this one was a dream to put together.
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It had to be a three-quarter leather binding, naturally. And I was sitting on some gorgeous iridescent maroon paper for endpapers (no photos in this set, it refuses to photograph well, as is the way of pretty iridescent things). I spent some time agonizing over my other material, and whether to use two different marbled patterns, but I went with it in the end. The vibes were distinct enough but the palettes overlapped enough that I really enjoyed the effect. And with the northcott art of marbling fabrics (my beloved) I was able to use lines of symmetry to get some nice fussy cuts for the big book and the little ones. All of the books have leather endbands, matching the spine. And the big book has the big thick faux raised bands I tried out with my last svsss! I don't have enough pictures to show off all the book interiors, but I used this cover plate for the series and main fics within it.
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And then, like I showed you above, I put it all together. Marbled paper and silk moire for covering the box, a lot of very tense wrangling of glued-up paper in very small spaces, and, at one point, carefully lowering glue-covered pieces of moire bookcloth down these little pits (walls already covered) using that tab in the front like the world's awkwardest elevator shaft. But the EFFECT!
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I'm very, very pleased with myself, and delighted to have delivered this book to its new home. I've been absolutely VIBRATING with a desire to share, so! I can't be contained by tumblr's image limit. Hold on for two seconds (approx.) and I'm going to reblog this post with some wip pictures and more detail about how I worked this thing out and assembled this box and modified my initial design on the fly
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lynaferns · 12 days
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The Forest On The Other Side
Chapter 1: I want to go home.
Ver. [ENGLISH / SPANISH]
A girl gets lost in the forest and finds a misterious gate in the middle of nowhere. At the other side she meets a... very peculiar individual who seems to only want to befriend her and play. Everything seems fine. Until night falls and someone else joins to play...
Again, I appreciate feedback about the english adaptation. English is not my first lenguage and I still mess up sometimes.
This is in some way a more "joyful" story than BIOMáquina, still with its dark themes. I wrote this a year ago. By this I mean I forced myself to get it written down and ended up hating it and burning myself out. A couple of weeks ago I decided to reread it and I though it was pretty ok actually, so I edited it a bit to make it flow better. It used to be written more as a script for the comic I wanted to draw buuuut that didn't happen (cough stressed myself out cough forced myself cough don't force yourself to make content out of a hobby, a hobby is supposed to be for your own fun). I'm not completely satisfied with the final draft but I think is good enough for my first ever fic written.
I originally planned to make it a Y/N thing but that didn't last long. But I keeped the original idea of the first person POV. The Y/N stories I've read has always some narrator telling you what you do insert you in the story. I thought of making the MC the narrator, this way the reader can insert themselves like it's their story or they can read it as if someone else is telling them a story. This is also a bit limiting, since the narration is also the MCs thought process and sometimes I may skip details MC couldn't have seen.
AU, Magical forest, DCA centered, Sun fnaf, Moon fnaf, Elves Sun & Moon, OC, Selfinsert, Character & OC, platonic, friendship, slowburn (kind of), Moon is agresive at first, Moon is also a bit of a gremlin, Protective Sun (I think), OC is a potty mouth, Female Main Character, First person, Angst.
The first post where I showed this AU and my first sketches ideas.
Tumblr archive with all of the art, ideas and anwsered asks.
Youtube Playlist which I'm pretty proud of how it turned out :] It's in a specific order but you can put it on mix.
Note: even though I try to keep things light some things may be triggering for some readers.
CW: Anxiety, Suicide ideation, Implied death, Choking, Non sexual abuse.
Wordcount: 9,700 (It's not rounded, that's literally the number Word tells me it's at lol)
Welp.
Here we are again, in the old village house (yey...). Well, 'I am', my family won't arrive to settle in for another week. They brought me here beforehand a few days ago for organizational reasons. They took a quick look inside before they left to see the state of the house, if it needed any repairs and such, and they headed back to the city. While they finish preparing everything, I take care of the house and text them messages about anything that may be needed for when they return.
We haven't been here in years, the house needs some repairs, and I'm sorry for the spiders, but it could use a deep cleaning. We can't do a deep cleaning but I have been cleaning what I can these last few days, at least so that it looks decent... at first glance.
Well, it's not like anyone is coming to visit.
It's a quiet town, until the kids from the town next door come to make a racket with their bikes. They play in our field, scare away the cats and throw cans around. They are assholes.
Anyways, the people in the village are nice. The adults I mean, the kids I used to play with, I don't get along with them anymore. Some of them aren't kids anymore, we have grown up and are going down different paths. But those who are still kids... they're still interested in the only older kid in the town who listened to them and let them do whatever they wanted, to a certain extent.
I don't want them to come looking for me to go out and play. I've been avoiding them by saying that I'm busy cleaning the house and getting it ready for when my family arrives, but I feel like interacting with them less and less. That's why I'm going out to the woods behind the house to get lost for a while, as always. The kids don't go near the forest so they won't bother me there.
There is an area for tourism and hiking but not many people come, some police cars border the forest from time to time but they never go inside. The reports of missing people in this forest have been coming in for decades, only some lost children have returned but there is no trace of any of the adults who disappeared along with the rest of the children. The areas marked with signs are safe but you can't go out of bounds unless you want to disappear with those people.
And I, who right now am alone and with no one to notice my absence if I go missing, am going to head straight to the forest. Don't you think, I don't want to disappear, I just don't like people and I usually go into the forest but I don't go too far away. As long as I see my house in the distance, I know how to return.
I grab my bag with my sketchbook and pencil case, in case I feel like drawing (probably won't) and step out to the back porch. The outer sliding metal door that protects the inner one is rusty and difficult to open. It would be better to oil it but I don't know when it will be done, considering that the broken railing has had a wooden board tied to it for years. I already sent my mother a message talking about it.
I enter the forest and start walking around. It's hot, of course, it's early summer, but it's quite noticeable after being in the cool inside the brick and stone house. That's the good thing about coming here in summer, the houses are made to stay cold inside and it's great, sometimes I even need to wear a jacket. But outside I'm dying, the trees don't provide enough shade. In fact, some trees are missing. I used to have my routes memorized but time has passed and some paths have changed, some have disappeared and others have formed. I admit that it makes me a little sad... I began to walk absorbed in my thoughts not paying attention to where I was going.
I'm walking away, I should go back. I'm not going to draw anything here anyway, and it's hotter outside than inside so I'm gonna to turn around-
I hear screams and laughter in the distance, the sound of the voices produces me an immediate disgust. It's those kids from the next door village. They must have come to 'investigate' about the disappearances or maybe they don't care and they just came to be idiots-
They're getting closer.
I don't want them to see me. God. Don't let them see me. Anyone but them. They're getting closser. Don't let them see me. I can't go back home now. They're cutting me off. Of all the people who could have found me. It had to be them. No, please. Don't let them see me. I have to go further into the forest, I can't let them see me. They're getting closer. Don't let them see me. I want to leave. I want to leave. I'm getting too far. I want to leave. I don't see my house. I want to leave. I don't see the village. I want to leave. I don't see the kids.
...
...
...
Where am I?
Fuck.
Where am I?
I want to leave.
I want to leave.
I want to leave.
I want to leave.
Now I'm wandering through the forest. I don't want to go back. I want to get out of here. Even though I'm walking in a straight line I feel like I'm going around in circles, and I'm not going to get out of here now. Great. I'm lost. Now what? People who get lost in this forest don't return, no one has returned except for some children.
...
I'm going to disappear.
...
For now I keep walking until something happens. Maybe there's an animal that kills people who get lost, or maybe it's a group of kidnappers, or maybe I should stop giving myself anxiety and focus on getting out of here. Maybe if I find a field or road, or even the tourist area, I'll be able to get out of here and return bordering the fores-
...
There is... colorful graffitis on the trees. Someone has painted eyes, hands, stars and more on the bark of the trees...
What's this?
I don't know where I've come to, I didn't know this was here, in the middle of nowhere in the forest. The trees have red leaves like in autumn even though summer has just started... The first thing I thought was 'climate change's fault' but there is something that stands out in the middle of this entire flat area and it is disturbing me.
In the center there is a kind of circular gate made of stones supported by roots.
Okay, maybe it doesn't sound aaaaas disturbing as, I don't know, a totem with a human figure being impaled or something, but it's giving me a bad vibe. What is this place? Who built a stone arch in the middle of everything and why?
A bird appears flying from behind me and goes through the gate, but nothing comes out on the other side... wait what? how? The bird has crossed the gate, and disappeared behind the stone arch? ...I had to imagine it, it's not possible that that happened. I approach the arch but not before picking up a rock from the ground and throwing it to the other side of the gate.
It's still there.
For some reason the thought of going through the gate makes me uncomfortable, so I go around it.
...
...And the rock? It's not there.
I go back and look from inside the portal.
The rock is there.
...
I look from outside. The rock is not there. I repeat this multiple times. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock... What?
Alright, this is weird, this is VERY weird.
Even though it is clear that this isn't normal, I have to go back, pick up a fallen branch from the ground and pass it through the portal. This time I don't throw it, I've grabbed a branch long enough to see it peek out from the other side of the arch.
...
Welp.
I should be seeing not only the branch, but also my hand sticking out of the side, but I'M NOT SEEING IT. OKAY. OK. ALRIGHT. IT'S CONFIRMED. THIS IS WEIRD.
I'm asleep, right? Or unconscious. I must have passed out from exhaustion from endlessly wandering through the woods and I'm delirious or something. No, wait, it can't be, in my dreams I'm not this aware of what's around me. Where am I?
A breeze begins to pass through the gate. It's getting stronger but not enough to push me. The leaves rise from the ground and float towards the portal, none slipping outside, all entering through the stone arch. Suddenly the breeze that had become wind stops. The leaves fall to the ground.
...
I look back for a moment, as if there was something behind me that could help me make a decision. Grabbing with both hands my bag strap I look back at the portal again. Okay. Alright. This is possibly the death of me. I'm going to cross. I'm going to go to the other side. I'm just one step away from crossing. I wrinkle my face and narrow my eyes before taking the last step.
...
Nothing has happened. Everything seems the same. However, I know it's not the same... Or at least it doesn't feel the same!
Well, I've already crossed. I'm gonna... keep walking, I guess, even though this is scaring me and I don't know if I'll know how to go back. For now I'm moving forward. The red leaves have disappeared several meters ago. It's starting to look like a normal forest, except for the multicolored drawings and handprints that I keep seeing on the trees. In fact, it seems like the trees are taller with every step I take. So high that I can barely see the top. I almost tripped while looking up. Whether this is the same forest I come from, I no longer know.
This was a bad idea. I just hope to find something that'll help me know where I am, a sign or the road if possible.
*cling*
...?
I hit something with my foot. There is a ball attached to a small chain on the ground. Oh, no, wait. *cling diring ding* It's a rusty bell, I think. It doesn't have the typical cross-shaped hole or slot, rather it has several holes in a pattern. It looks like it can be opened.
There's nothing inside.
?
There's nothing? But I could have sworn it had rang. I close it again and shake it.
*...*
Nothing.
I'm going to put it in the bag, it's totally a good idea. I'll think about it later, for now I'm moving on.
I've been walking for a while now and throughout this time I had a constant chill on the back of my neck, as if someone had their eyes on me.
*din dirring* I hear a soft tinkling in the distance.
Okay, I'm not alone, awesome, what do I do now? Do I say hi and risk the potential danger finding me? Do I ignore the sound of bells and keep moving? It's very possible that whatever made that sound is watching me right now...
“Hello?” Still nervous, I try to say hello looking around “...” “Is someone there? H-hello?”
“-HEEEEELLO!”
“AAAAAH-!” I cover my mouth with my hands as I turn to look at what the hell has greeted me back. I take a few steps back while I look at the figure of earthy and sunny tones who responded, he seems as surprised as I am, I think (with the scream I made, normal), at least it looks like he's surprised. He wears a two toned wooden mask... it looks like a sun, with a crescent moon on its right... It gives the impression of two faces merged into one... Damn, he is tall, he's almost doubles my size. He appears to have two skin tones dividing him in half, his right side being the lighter and the left darker, especially the arm, which also has a light-colored tattoo of lines representing a sun symbol that covers from the shoulder to the pectoral and to the middle of the bicep. The right arm is covered by a long fingerless glove that reaches to the shoulder and is tied around the chest. He's wearing baggy pants with leaves coming out of the waist and legs, some... cloth boots? with a long toe bending sharply and curving in a geometric swirl with a bell at the tips, a bag hangs from the waistband of his pants and falls below his hips. His chest and neck are tied by ropes decorated with hanging stones, metals and crystals, he wears a pendant that ends in a carved symbol of a crescent moon with rays. Some of the 'sunrays' on his mask have ropes tied between them holding them in place and some metal dangling. Some red ribbons along with bells hang from his wrists.
“um... Helloooooo.” He greets again, this time he lowers his tone of voice. I manage to react, I turn around and walk away. “¡ah- eh- Wait!” Nope, I'm not going to wait and see what he does with me, I'm leaving. “He-! Hey!” Nope. I quicken my pace and try to get lost among the trees, changing direction every time he appears in my vision angle. “Human? Human-! FRIEND. Can I call you friend?!” Nope, nope, nopnop, nop, nop, nope. “Friend! Hey!” God, no, god, god, no, why are you following me? “Look, I know what you're trying to look for...! And believe me, you're not going to find it~!” How are you still following me? Where do you come from? “Hey! Listen! Why don't we do something else besides running in circles!?” Noooooooooo... “There are TONS of other activities we could do! Like... HOLY MOLY, look at this stick! Do you like sticks!?” Leave me aloneee... “You aren't looking at it! Okay, alright, you don't like sticks, erm... what might be of interest to you...” If I don't look at it it doesn't exist. “Could you help me a little here?” I want to leave... “Look, no matter how much you wander around, you won't find the portal-!”
“STOP—! STOP FOLLOWING ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!” The sudden scream startles him again, making him jump in place. He stands completely still looking at me. I'm leaving before he gets angry.
“B-but I- ...okay.” I thought I heard him say before I left him behind.
It seems that this time he's not following me, finally... Although I'm not calm, he could still be following me and simply not be in sight. Anyway, I think I'm coming back? I hope I am. I want to find that portal as soon as possible and go back to the house- what the fu-? “WHY?”
He's there. Right where I left him. Sitting on a rock. Waiting. “...! I haven't moved from the spot!”
“Yeah- but- WHY?”
“Because I knew you were going to come back here!”
“...What?”
“Is what I was trying to tell you! You can't leave! No matter how hard you try to find the portal, it won't appear before you!” The Sunman exclaimed.
“…” I'm just about to turn around. In fact, I'm already turning around.
“N-No, wait! Please don't go!” I stop in my track and look back at him. He gets off the rock he was sitting on but remains squatting, almost at my height, a little below. I move back, keeping my distance. He puts his hands up. “Look, I'm not doing anything! I won't chase you! Just- ...don't go.”
“…”
“L-look, listen, there's no way it's going to show up! Well, not to you at least. But even if you find it back, it won't work! It only works when it wants to work.”
“...” Let's imagine that I trust what he says “Ok... and when does it want to be working?”
“...” “No idea!”
“...”
“...”
I'm about to collapse on the spot. At least he doesn't seem hostile, for now. “...” “Okay... Good... Great...” “...” “FanTAS-tic.”
“...” “You don't seem like it.”
*ಠ_ಠ* I could only look to the side in frustration in response to that. I looked back at him with concern showing on my face and grabbing the strap of my bag with both hands. “And... what... do you plan to do with me?”
He took his hand to the chin of his mask and with the other he held his elbow in a comical thoughtful pose. “MmmmnnDUN know! What do you plan to do?” He asked so nonchalantly. He ended up sitting on the ground crossing his legs. “You have a good while until the portal opens again...!”
“...”
“...”
“...”
He started swaying. The silence has become uncomfortable for a while now, but I can't organize myself on what to say, and I don't know if I trust him. I don't even know if he's human, although something tells me he's not.
“You could wait here.” He suggested, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Or anywhere else, if you want. I would recommend somewhere high like the treetops (for no particular reason)! If you're going to wait... But wouldn't that be really boring?” There was something in his tone of voice... “Being there... at the top of a tree... waiting... alone... with no friends to hang out with (can I call you a friend?). Aaall on your own until the portal opens again.” He looks aside for a moment “...” And back at me again. “With no one to be with you.” He repeats the head motion “...” “alone...” Wow... I wonder what he's implying, ahem. “Wouldn't you want to have someone...? ...Someone...keeping you company?” Yeah, yeah...
“...” I guess... “I-I guess I wouldn't want to be alon-?”
He rises to his knees. “That's what I thought! Do you want me to accompany you? Only if you want! But can I?” He clasped his hands together as if asking a favor.
“um...”
“Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?” He approaches, dragging his knees on the ground.
I'm starting to miss personal space. “Okay! Okay, alright...”
“REALLY?” He started hopping and jumping around me. “OH, ohoho hO! Great! Oh, there are TONS of things we could do! Like... Like...!” He moves faster, doing bigger and bigger flips and jumps, it almost seems that he is very light, as if the breeze of air lifted him. “We could paint and decorate trees! Or we can also paint on rocks! Or paint leaves! Or paint us! Oh! We can tell stories! I'm very good at making shadows and puppets.” He moves from place to place with each sentence he says. “We can also play something!” It's moving so fast all I can see is the wind and the leaves it stirs up as it moves. “Anything! Whatever you want!” Finally he stopped in front of me half crouched. “What do ya say?! Hmm! Friend!?”
“Don't... call me like that.” Makes me feel awkward.
“Oh...why not-? Oh true, true! How silly, I don't know your name! What do you call yourself, potential friend?”
“...”
“...” “Aren't... you gonna tell me your name?”
I twist the bag strap “Depends...” I must say I'm a little skeptical about this. “Are there any consequences for telling you my name?”
“...Consequences...?”
“Like... I don't know... Mmm-by telling you my name I become your possession and cannot regain my freedom until... certain conditions are met...”
“...”
“...”
“Why- how-? Where did you get that from!?” It did sound a bit stupid when I said it out loud.
“I dunno- that's what they say in old children's stories about elves and fairies!” I just hope the embarrassment isn't showing on my face.
“Really?” I could feel his deadpan expression behind the mask.
I shrugged.
“...” “Okay... Oh, what if I tell you my name first? Will you tell me yours? It's only fair, I'm Sun!”
“...”
“Can I know your name now?” He asked expectantly.
“...How do I know you're not trying to trick me?”
“...” I must be driving him crazy with this “The only thing I can do with your name is treasure it in my memory.” He put his hands together as if he was carefully holding something and brought them to the forehead of the mask. I gave him a distrustful look. It doesn't seem like it made him desist “Please?”
I grip at my worn out bag strap “...” “ Fern...” I ended up murmuring.
“Hmm? Fern? OH, I like it!” “Sounds like FRIEND.” He emphasized the last word by making a gesture like jazz hands, leaning to the side and moving his head closer to me.
“Yeah... I think you are missing a couple of letters.”
He straightened his posture again. “Nope, I don't think so!”
“You're still not my friend.”
“Oooowwwwwnnnnnggghhh” He lowers his head dramatically until it practically touches the ground “nnnnnnngggghh, alright!” And cartwheels to stand up again “So... what will it be?”
“Hm?”
He straightened his posture and puts his arms on his hips “We have plenty of time, ya? What do you wanna to do?”
“I don't know, what do you want to do-?” Bad mistake.
“Come with me!”
“aaAAAAA-!” Before I knew it, he had grabbed my arm and I was being dragged through the woods. We visited several places and he offered me an activity to do in each of them.
Sun took me to a place where the trees were full of colorful paint “We practice painting on the trees here!” He said.
“Ah.” That explains the crossed out lines and the repeated imperfect shapes. By the look of it is also where he tests the quality of the paint.
“Do you want us to paint something!?”
“Not really...”
“Oh, would you prefer it to be on a rock?”
“Nah.”
“...And in star leaves-?”
“I don't want to paint, Sun.”
“Oh... Well, I can show you more places!”
“OkayyEEEEEE-” And I'm being dragged away again.
He brought me to another area of the forest, the ground here seemed more leveled. Not a single tree was straight, all of them were twisted and even seemed to be hollow. “How about playing something!? Like hide and seek-! No, wait, I can’t let you out of my sight.” He mumbled at the end “And chase?! We can climb a tree and see who reaches the top first! We have a place full of vines and it's perfect for swinging- and jumping from one tree to another-!”
“I don't... really want to move a lot…” With the way he runs without getting tired and me, who doesn't exercise... he would let me dead.
“Oh... well, theeen-”
We arrived at a place full of vegetation and humidity. Sun seemed quite excited... “This place is full of insects! We can look for cool bugs!”
“Mmmmmnoooo... I don't want to.” I had to tell him, trying to show as little disinterest as I could.
“You don't like them?” He sounded a little disappointed hearing my reaction.
“No, I do like them, some of them, but I don't like to touch them.” And I'm terrified of them flying into my face.
“Oh, well, it's okay!” He said brushing it off and we moved on to the next stop.
“I know that bird!” He stopped us on the way to point at a robin high up on a branch.
“ah.” I said as I removed leaves from my hair and clothes, and checked that I still had my glasses.
“He's a little rascal!”
“...” I think the bird is making us the equivalent of 'mooning'.
“Look fish-! Oh, they're gone…” The noise must have scared them away “We can go find more places to look at them if you want!”
“...” “...no, pass...”
“…”
“Look at this stick!” Sun had suddenly sprinted past me, picked up something from the ground, and came back just as fast, showing me the stick as if it were a sword.
“oh.” It's a cool stick, must admit it.
“Do you want to look for more sticks!?”
“No...”
“oh...” He looked at the ground in disappointment.
“Why would we go looking for sticks? There are all over the ground.” Specifically, in this area the ground was all sticks. We are literally just stepping on sticks right now. I don't see the ground.
“Variety!” Sun said pointing at the ground with both hands. A branch is heard falling in the distance.
“That's a deer!” He pointed at the deer passing nearby. The deer stopped to look at us.
“Yeah, I see.”
“We call 'em Adoquín!”
“...Why is it called Adoquí-?”
*THUMP!*
“…”
The deer smacked itself against a tree when trying to run away. It stands still for a minute, processing the hit, looks at a side and then the other, then runs off again but this time avoiding the tree.
Another *thump!* is heard in the distance.
“...” Alright.
“Do you wannaaaa look for pine cones? There will be some fallen around here. Oh! We can also look for mushrooms!”
I keep saying no to everything he suggests and it doesn't look like he's going to run out of ideas to pass the time. In fact, he's very insistent that we do something. I guess at some point I'll have to say yes to something. “...” “...okay...”
“Hmm?! Okay? Okay to what?” His exaggerated surprise offends me but I don't blame him.
“To... I don't know, pine cones?”
“...You don't look very convinced.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“OKAY! On the hunt for pine cones then!” I startle a little at the sudden shout. He makes a pose pointing in a direction, as if he were leading an expedition.
He takes me through the forest looking for pine cones. We aren't finding many, especially me who's not paying any interest. He tries encouraging me to put more effort into it but I keep looking at my boots.
We passed near a shingle river. I find a pebble at my feet and bend down to pick it up and take a better look. It's like a bluish gray, it has some reddish lines in the shape of waves, it feels good to the touch.
I hear the soft tinkling of a bell and feel a shadow fall beside me. “You like pebbles?” Sun is crouched next to me with his arms full of pine cones.
“…” I nod.
We go down to the river and spend some time collecting pebbles with curious shapes or small details of colors, lines, spots, etc. He comes over to show me one every time he finds weird shapes.
“…”
*rin* This time he's hunched over resting his hands on his knees. “You look… a little down.”
“…”
“Hey... we can do something else if you're tired of the pebbles.”
“...” I drop the pebbles I was looking at on the ground.
“...” He turns his gaze from me to the sky. It hasn't gotten late enough to be getting dark, but it's been a while between the walks we've taken (dragging me from here to there), looking for pine cones and then pebbles in the river. He looks back at me. “Oh, I know! Can I take you to one last place? A better place than the ones I've shown you!”
“…” I got up from the ground and waited for him to start leading to follow him.
We enter the increasingly thick forest. The trees are taller and bigger, in fact, I start to see platforms and bridges lying between the trees, I even see small shanties in them.
“Wait here!” He takes a run and jumps onto one of the trees with bridges. He takes three steps running up the tree, with a jump he pushes himself off and climbs with agility until he reaches the platform and climbs on it. “Just a moment!” It can't be seen from here but I can faintly hear some squeaks. I have no idea of what he's doin-
*rush*
“........eh?”
A rope.
A rope has fallen. At the level of my head.
“.......”
What?
He said he knew a better place.
No. It can't be this.
“Is it at a good height?! Can you reach it?!” He says...
It can't be.
A better place.
He can't be referring to this.
A better place.
A better place. A better place. A better place. A better place.
“Can you put your foot in?!”
“..........” For some reason what he said throws me off. “WAT-?”
“Can you put your foot in the loop and hold on to the rope so I can pull you up!?”
“..............”
“You can't climb trees, can you?! ...or you can?"
… “...” Oh “....It's...It's too high!”
“Okay!” Squeaks are heard and the rope descends to the ground.
I put my foot into the rope as he told me and hold on to it. “O-okay...!”
“Are you ready!?”
“Yes!”
“Okay!”
He begins to pull up the rope (which doesn't tighten around my foot as it supports my weight) and helps me up to the platform. (That's what it was for, obviously, what else would he want? I'm such an...) “Come on!” He says cheerfully, as always, and takes me over the bridges. “You seem tense... Don't tell me you're afraid of heights!”
“S-something like that... it's nothing.” He tilts his head at that but he says nothing. I have an unpleasant sensation in my throat.
We arrived at a high place with a view of waterfalls, I can't see above the trees. We sat on one of the bridges, resting our arms on the rope that serves as a railing and letting our legs hang off the bridge. I've thought about taking out the sketchbook to draw... but I don't really feel like it right now, so I just quietly observe the landscape. It is a better place, yeah.
I feel watched. I turn to look at him ...Of course he was looking at me. I don't even know whether to say something or keep quiet. ...I decide... not to say anything and look to the front.
“You... aren't very talkative, huh.”
“…”
“Not that it's a bad thing! Many people who have come here weren't very talkative at first either.” More people...
“...” “I have… nothing to talk about.” I don't want to talk.
“...” “Well, I do.”
“…”
“If it's okay with you, of course.” He laughed. Although something tells me that he is going to talk anyway.
“…”
“...” “What brings you to the forest?”
“...” Really? “I got lost.”
“Yeah, I already know!” He says between laughs “But what made you get lost?”
“...” “There was a group of kids I didn't want to get close to and I decided to go into the woods to lose them.” He makes a 'hum' sound and looks at me expectantly waiting for me to continue “And... I ended up getting myself lost...”
“...” “Only that?”
“...” “Well, yeah.” What do you mean 'oNlY tHaT'?
“...Mmm...” He places his hand on the chin of the mask.
“...” “What?”
“Nothing!” “...” “You know? You're the first human to visit the forest in a loooong time. For several cycles now…”
“Cycles?”
“Mhm” He nods.
“...What are cycles?”
Sun points to the sky “The turns that the Moon makes in the sky!” He emphasizes by rotating his arm in the air. It's pointing right at the Moon that's visible in the sky.
“Oh...” He uses the lunar cycles to know what day he's in, makes sense. “...” “So no one has been here in a while.”
“That's what I said! Well no, but yes!”
“A-and so the humans who came are still here? Have they been here all this time?”
“Yeah...! Well, no!” He paused. “They're gone!”
“What do you mean they're-?” He didn't let me finish the question.
“They are gone! They 'left'!” It sounded like he had given this answer many times already.
“What do you mean they left-?”
“They 'left'!”
“...” “...You mean...they disappear-?”
“Nope!” “...” “Something like that!” “…” “Mmmore or less…” He hesitated between one answer and another.
It seemed worthless to ask about the missing people. “...okay.” “Can I ask you-?”
“You can ask me anything!” A hint of nervousness escaped his tone.
“...okay. What is this forest?”
“My home! And the home of many other animals.”
“...” “Alright, and... how many are you...? How many of you live here? I mean. You have taken me everywhere and we haven't seen anyone of your…” I make a pointing gesture, spinning my hand around in the air. He can't be human, it doesn't look like he is. “...” “Honestly, I don't know what you are.”
“...” “There's only me... And someone else!” He looks away, as if trying to hide something.
“Oh... and who's that someone?”
“Oh! N-no, don't worry! He’s… just a friend… But it’s not important that you meet him or anything!” He brushes it off making a gesture with his hand. “Uh-um- How about we talk about you!? huh? What things do you like? Earlier, since you said no to everything, I thought you didn't like ANYTHING!” He continued talking without letting me respond. “I didn't know what to do if I ran out of ideas. I started to worry! But at least you're not one of those who spend all day shouting and threatening with a weapon in hand, ahaha...” He let out a nervous laugh.
“Um-”
“Well, you ran away screaming, yes.” He began to gesticulate widely as he complained “Like everyone-! No, not like everyone, some don't run, but those who, apart from running and screaming, attack you...! I mean...!” Something tells me he wasn't going to shut up and I was already half listening. “First they throw rocks at my head, then they insult me and run away. And I have to run after them because I can't just leave a human running around alone! No! I can't! Not in this forest! Anything could happen to them! But they never let me warn them!” He sounded tired. “And when I get them to stop running away from me, they throw things at me again and yell before demanding me to tell them where are they and how to get out of here, and when I explain it, they yell at me even more and accuse me of lying!” He turns to look at me with his hands pointing to his chest. “What reason would I have to lie?!” I don't know if he hasn't noticed or if he's ignoring the deapan I responded with. “UGH! I don't know what to do with those! But anyhow... I'm so glad we found something to do in the end!
“eh?” I snap out of my thoughts. It seems that now he is directing the conversation to me.
“The pebbles!” He sits turning his body towards me, leaving one single leg hanging from the bridge and the other resting on it. He takes out of his pocket some of the pebbles that he had been collecting with me. “I don't know why I assumed you wouldn't want to look for rocks. Maybe because you didn't want to paint them before... You left them back in the river in the end tho, I thought you would keep some.”
“Ah... I don't know. I didn't think I could take them with me.”
“You can keep some of mine!”
“No, it's okay.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“You suuuuure??” He insist.
“Yeees.”
He puts a pebble very close to my face “Suuuuuuuure?” Each 'u' sounding higher than the last.
“...” I push the pebble away from my face “Yeeeees.”
“mmmh... Okay! But I hope you don't regret it later when you don't have a cool rock like these and think 'Oh man, I could have a cool rock right now!'.” After a bad impression of me, he keeps the rocks in his pants. “So... Besides pebbles, what else do you like? Mm? I haven't been able to deduce much from today.”
“Don't know.”
“What do you mean you don't know!? Oh! Is it a secret?” He approaches and starts to whisper, putting his hands to the mask's mouth “I won't tell anyone, promise.”
“No. I don't know.” I looked to the side. “I can't think of anything... so suddenly.”
“ooow...” He slumps a little over the railing, looking sad.
“…” I hesitate whether to say something or not “...Drawing...”
“Mmm?!” He no longer seems sad.
“And listening to music, I guess.” “It's... all I do... most of the time.”
“Really!? Oh! I also like drawing! And music! But is that really all you do all day? Don't you do other kinds of things? Like reading! Or writting. Don't you go out for a walk or play with your friends?” I wrinkle my face at that last bit and he tilts his head in confusion.
“I don't go out.” “I have comics, but I rarely read.”
“Comics?”
“Um... They are stories but instead of narrating what happens there are drawings and only what the characters say is written.”
“...It's a book with drawings?”
“Yeah, but with a lot of drawings on each page, from start to finish.”
“WOAH.” He sounded perplexed. “That's drawing A LOT.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Ahh, I'd love to see what they look like.” He rested his arm on the railing to hold his head in his hand “Too bad I can't…”
“I didn't bring them anyway.”
“Do you normally carry them around?”
“No, it's just that I didn't bring them to the village with me, I left them at home.”
“...” “Oh!” It seems that something has clicked on him. “You are not from the village.”
“No, I'm from a more urban area. My family used to come to the village every year in the summer, but we stopped coming. Now it seems that we are trying to get back into the habit.” I sighed.
“Why did you stop coming?”
“...That's personal.”
“Oh... okay.” He let a minute of awkward silence pass. “Hey, I can bring some books that I have at home! I think you might be interes-!” He looks away from me to the sunset behind us, the sun is almost gone. “-ted...” I look at the sunset too and then at him with confusion. “...” “...oh...oh-OH, Oh-no!” He stands up abruptly causing the bridge to shake slightly. What could have he seen? “We have to move!” He extends a hand to help me up. “We have to start moving!”
I get up in a hurry on my own, ignoring his hand. “O-okay, to where?”
“Come, run!” Once again he grabs me by the arm and leads me over the bridges between the trees until we reach a tree hut. It's small and dark, it looks like a small shelter. He opens the door and enters “You'll spend the night here, stay inside, do not go out, try to hide well and don't open the windows or doors, okay? Here, there are some blankets. I'll come back later.”
“Wait wait wait! What? What do you mean you'll come back later? What's happening? Why do I have to hide-!?”
“Sssh-ssh-sh” He grabs me and covers my hand with his, his left hand resting on the back of my right hand. He begins to speak in a calmer tone, with a voice that I had not heard him use until now. “It's okay, nothing happens. I have to go, I'll come back, but I can't stay now. You hide, try to rest, I'll be back, I promise.”
“...” I take my hand away from his. “Okay.” “I'll stay, but don't take too long.” Please, I don't want to be here alone.
“Yes. I'll be back.” He affirmed one last time. I watch him run away and disappear among the trees and undergrowth. I enter the small shelter to inspect it.
*TAP TAP TAP* *PLOK* *TAP TAP FOOSSSH! *
…? A noise comes from behind me. I turn around and there's a pebble on the floor.
Okay.
I take out my phones flashlight to see better inside the house. There are what appear to be some trunks, small cabinets, and a trapdoor in the floor, It seems that there are corners and blind spots for the windows where the little moonlight that enters through the cracks cannot reach. It's freezing cold and I haven't brought my jacket. I leave the bag on the floor against the wall, I cover myself with the blanket and curl up in a ball in the most hidden corner I can find. I'm tired, I want to sleep, but I can't close my eyes.
It's been a few hours now.
I can't sleep, I simply can't.
It doesn't look like he's coming back.
*creek*
…?
*rin*
*tap tap, creek*
Sun?
“S-...” I pause before saying a word, I have the feeling I shouldn't speak. I remain silent and wait.
*tap, tap, tap, creeeeeek, tap*
*rin dirrin*
If it were Sun he would have already let me know it is him. That or he's playing a prank on me which isn't funny, but I'd better stay silent. From the shadow I look at the windows. I notice movement through the cracks, something has just passed through the wall next to me.
*dirriring dirring*
I cover myself more with the blanket, back against the wall, I stay as still as I can, I leave a gap between the blankets and the floor to see. A red glow sneaks through the cracks in the window and scans the room.
The glow is gone.
*tap, tap, rin, tap, dirring, tap, tap*
It's on the roof.
*tap, tap, tap...*
It moves again.
*rin *
It sounded on the other side of the wall.
“nghehe...”
It laughed. Why did it laugh? Whatever is on the other side of the wall just let out a laugh that made the hairs on the back of my neck and all over my back rise.
Oh no.
Oh no no no no no no no no.
I have to move. I have to get out of here. I can't stay here.
*creeek*
It came from the door. It's trying to get in.
*rin*
The trapdoor.
*rin dirring*
Where was the trapdoor?
*creek creeeek*
I crawl across the floor making the minimum noise, carefully feeling the floor, looking for the edge of the door.
*tap tap ring dirring*
…!
I found it. I open it carefully. It's too high. I'm at a very high altitude, I don't know if I'll be able to go down.
*rin, creeek...*
Fuck it. I slip through the gap quietly, closing it slowly, but that doesn't stop the door from creaking. I cling to the bark of the tree-
I left my bag. If it comes in and see it it'll know for sure that I have been there-
It doesn't matter now. I have to focus on getting down from the tree without killing myself. My fingers hurt and I can't put my foot down properly because of the soles of my boots. I feel like I'm going to slip at any moment. Somehow I make it to the ground. Still attached to the tree, I look up at the house. I don't see it-
A shadow appears from behind the tree. I press myself against the tree and hold my breath. It's looking for something. When he doesn't seem to look I move to a nearby tree, he moves to another tree, I move to the next, and the next, and the next. We continue like this until I start to get further and further away from him. When I think I've lost him I start running. I hide behind a tree to catch my breath.
I slowly peek out from behind the tree.
*rin*
It sounded above me.
I don't look up, I run.
“nnghehee...” He laughs.
He gives me a few seconds advantage before coming after me. The chase begins.
I run forward as much as I can, I hear his footsteps behind me but I don't look back, there's no time for that. I hear him laughing like a madman as he moves from left to right, from one tree to another, crawling on the ground, trying to confuse me, waiting for me to make the slightest mistake to catch me.
“Ah-” I trip. As soon as I fall to the ground I get up, ripping my stockings and scraping my knees, falling again, my nerves not letting me stand up.
“Nnhehehhehe...” Asshole. He has stopped running, he approaches by walking. I try to keep as much distance as my hands and legs allow me to move. I search desperately with my hand for something on the ground to throw. Finally my hand finds something.
I throw a rock at him “AGH!”
The rock passes by him, flying one or two meters away from him. He hasn't even moved, he didn't move a single muscle to avoid it, he just watches me still from where he is. I hear the nearby *pof* of the rock falling to the ground.
“...”
“...”
I get up and run. He grabs my leg and I fall to the ground again. He won't let me get up, every time I try he throws me to the ground. I struggle, I kick, but I don't break free from his grip. He never stops laughing, he is enjoying this. He drags me closer to him, no matter how much I twists, he doesn't let go. “ACKH-!...Hhhh-hh...-hh-h...” He grabs me by the neck, red pupils stared at me, I'm looking straight into his crescent moon mask (or waning, I don't know. Do you think I care right now?). He raises his free hand and his veins begin to glow a platinum color that extends to his fingertips. The hand approaches my face, I don't know what it's going to do to me, I'm scared, I don't want to look. I close my eyes, cover my face with my hands. I wait.
…?
Nothing's happening. It stopped. Why?
“Mun, nïe.” I hear Sun's voice. I open my hands a little to see what's going on. Indeed, it is Sun, several meters away from us... He looks exhausted. The one with the moon mask stares at him for a moment, until he decides to look at me again while bringing his glowing veiny hand closer. “¡Mun!” The Moonman looks at Sun again “Fehreh.” He seems to speak another language, I don't understand what he says.
“...” “Nïe” For the first time I hear him say something else besides laughing. Even though I can't understand him.
“Fïer pehgïer.” Sun responds.
“...” Moonman remains silent again.
“Bïelïe óubseh góuh...” Sun continues.
“Móu txehb móunsuvïe.” The Moon responds.
“Lïe bóu ¿Sóundïe mïesugïeb fehreh nïe txehtehrlïe?”
The air feels tense. Probably because of the hand grabbing my neck.
“¿Zkaóu fuóunbehb txehtóur tkaehnvïe nïe bóueh mehb zkaóu ïesreh rehuh óunsóurrehveh óun leh suóurreh?” Longest sentence I've heard him say so far.
“...” “Fïer óubseh góuh.” “...” “Vóuyehmóu óuntehrdehrmóu vóu óulleh” Sun takes a step forward “Nïe suóunóu fïer zkaóu ehtehkehr ehbu” Another step forward “Nïe sóunóumïeb fïer zkaóu txehtóurlóub... óubsïe” Another step “Óullïeb bïelïe óubsehn... fóurvuvïeb.”
“...” There's no response from the moon man.
“Behkehb tïemïe óub óubïe.”
“...”
The hand that grabbed my neck now grabs my shirt and yanks it. I grab his wrist as he pulls me to my feet and drags me to Sun, making me stumble. He throws me against him. Sun catches me before I fall over.
“Ska óubpkaóurhïe óub óun gehnïe.” The moon says something as he walks past. Sun puts a hand on his shoulder before letting him go, there's a pause between the two. The Moonman disappears into the trees. Wind and leaves are heard passing by.
He's gone. I feel dizzy. I fall down.
A faint light begins to seep through the cracks, illuminating enough to wake me up and make me open my eyes, I look around. I see my bag propped against the wall. I'm at the shelter where Sun left me.
My body aches, I have a hard time keeping my eyes open, it feels like I've been sleeping on the hard floor. No, wait, there are some blankets underneath me... It's still too hard to sleep well, either that or as I said, it shouldn't help me at all that everything hurts. After a while of staring at the ceiling I try to sit up. I emphasize trying. With every slight effort a pained moan escapes me.
“Oof...” Hurts.
*creek, tap tap tap tap*
Those wood creaks bring back bad memories from last night (which by the way, I'm alive, wow, I just realized), I can't help but cringe at every noise, I hear footsteps approaching, I try to move but the stinging pain prevents me from it.
*creek... *
The door opens.
Triangular shapes appear through the door followed by orange earth tones. “…Oh…!” “Early bird!” Thank god it's Sun and not the other one, or something worse “I didn't expect you up this early!” He says laughingly.
“ah?”
“How are you feeling?” He walks in. When he sets foot inside I lean back, towards the wall. “...” I don't really know why I did that. Sun stands at the door showing confusion with his usual head tilt. “...Arrr...re you okay, Fern?”
“...” I became tense suddenly. I really don't know still if I can trust him? He hasn't done anything to me yet but that doesn't mean that I can trust him. I don't know if he plans to do something with me like whatever that other one, the moon one, was going to do last night. “...ehh...hhh...h...” I can't get a word out, I'm afraid to ask.
“Mm?”
“...” I don't know what to say to him. My eyes go somewhere else.
He enters further into the house, ignoring that I keep my distance from him, leaves a bag he was carrying on the floor and begins to open the windows, letting in the little light of the dawn that is just beginning. He kneels on the floor in front of me with the bag. “Are you hungry?” He opens the bag and takes out an apple “Do you like apples?”
“...”
“No?”
“...”
“Um... I also brought berries... (It's what I had on hand coming here) There are... different types, you can choose” He brings the bag closer to me. I move further away. “uhhh...”
“...” I want to leave.
“You don't like them either...?”
“...” I don't want to eat. I want to leave.
“...”
“*snif... *”
“u-um...!”
“...*snif* *sob*...” I started crying out of nowhere.
“Ahhh...! D-do- don't cry! Ah-I-Um- Ca-can go find other things you might like-!”
I felt ashamed for crying and I put my hands to my face trying to wipe away the tears, but they wouldn't stop coming. “*hic, sniff, snif *” I looked away in an attempt to cover my face. I ended up looking at the floor, letting my hair act as a curtain.
“I can go in a moment!” Sun was already getting up.
“...w-want to leave...” I managed to get a murmur out.
“...W-what? Um...”
“...” *hic, hic *
“O-okay, um... If you aren't hungry... -we can do something else- uh- we can go look for rocks like yesterday in the river!”
“...” I don't want to do anything “...want to leave...”
“O-or we can do something else! Ah-bah-b-b-b- W-won't you like to go draw??! Somewhere, some landscape?! Wherever you want! We can draw together! If you prefer we can look for animals instead of landscapes!”
“...leave...want to...go... *hic, snif *”
“¡D-don't n- uh! ¡L-let's... um- let's not- uh!” He no longer knew how to order his words “H-hey, ¿Why don't we go to-?” He extends his hand towards my arm.
“I want to go home...”
He stops before touching me and removes his hand. “...” “...home?” There is a pause. He remains silent and unmoving. He finally speaks “Do you want…?” His tone became more serious.
“...”
“...to... go see the portal?” I look up slightly, I can't see through the tears and the fogged lenses of my glasses.
“...” I nod my head.
We didn't walk far until the red began to become visible. He brought me back to the portal. The same plain of red leaves and stone arch in the center of it all, as yesterday.
Sun has been quiet the entire time.
He advances towards the portal and stands facing it. He turns. “Come.” He extends his hand towards me. “You can pass through.”
“...”
I advance towards the portal. I stop before crossing. If it doesn't take me back home, what do I do? I don't want to stay.
A breeze begins to come out of the portal. The breeze turns to wind, the leaves rise, they pass through us. It's the same thing that happened yesterday when I went to cross. I turn to face Sun. Motionless, he looks back at me, the leaves pause in the air for a second as if time has stopped, the wind changes. From where the wind and leaves came now they come in, they push me towards the portal. I finally cross it.
Am I in the forest I know? I turn to look at Sun who stayed behind in the portal. “...Sun?” He's not there. I look around. He's not here. I've already crossed the portal, he must have left.
I notice a sudden draft pass by me. It's soft, like someone walking past you. I turn towards the forest, I have to start moving, I don't want to be here another minute.
...The air current that I noticed has lifted some leaves, they reach the trees, between them the wind does something strange, it forms a transparent silhouette. It looks like Sun, I can barely see him but I could swear it's him. The wind figure raises its hand and makes a gesture, it wants me to follow it. When I approach it turns around and walks into the forest, leaving a trail of leaves behind it. I follow the trail of the air current. Sometimes it stops to look at me, making sure I'm still following it. The red-leafed trees and the paintings disappear from view the farther we go. We crossed the forest until we arrived at the entrance of the town, near my house. There is no one on the street. If I walked into the house and pretended nothing had happened, officially no one would have noticed my absence.
I'm not one hundred percent sure if the wind figure that guided me is Sun or not, but I should at least thank him for bringing me back.
The air current has dissipated before I turn around. I look around, there's no one.
I enter the house, go up to my room and throw the bag on the floor. I go to the bathroom to wash. …I feel something strange in my hands but I couldn't say what. Doesn't matter. I change my clothes and get into bed, the tiredness of the previous night makes my body succumb immediately and I fall asleep instantly.
“ah...!” I wake up with my lungs begging for air. I need a moment to calm my breathing. I look at the clock without lifting my head from the pillow.
It is 12 midday. I rub my eyes and from my eyes I move to my face. I'm still tired. My body still aches. I stare at the ceiling.
My bag. I reach out to pick it up from the floor, making strange positions so as not to get out of bed.
I open it and search in the pockets. The bell. I put the bell to my ear. “...” I shake it.
*rin, diring diring*
“...”
I open it.
It's empty.
118 notes · View notes
matenrou-fan · 1 year
Text
~Intoxication~
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Me: oh I just will take a day off from Tumblr! *writing the biggest fic I ever made.*
Anyways this idea was in my mind for a pretty long time but I was kinda indecisive to start this work. Feel more nervous than when I posted another pretty dirty fic as this time it's much harsher. So please read tags carefully.
Intoxication of love.. or of lust? Diavolo didn't know himself what exactly was outweighed in his chest, but there's something he knows for sure - he'll make you his today.
femreader, possessive!Diavolo, delusional!Diavolo, aphrodisiac, oral (receiving), fingering (receiving), dirty talk, crempie, drugging, dumbification, non-con, slut shaming, Master/slave undertones;; 3914 words;; Please contact me if you think I forgot to add something!
NSFW UNDER THE CUT
;MINORS DNI;
Just another evening in Demon Lord's Castle.. Well, at least from your point of view, as everything was so casual, casual as it was a few days ago, and a week ago, and a month ago. There's no fear or thrilling excitement that tickles in your chest when you visit such a luxurious place for the first few times. And of course you stop seeing Lord Diavolo as someone authoritative and powerful, more like a good friend who you don't mind to tease sometimes.
But that's what he's needed, that's what he expected to see - a zero suspicion or careful attention from you. And that is what would help him to put his plan into practice.
"Mm, s/o, you're here! I was waiting for you." - With a usual big smile he got closer, flung out his arms in a lavish gesture.
All speeches are well prepared. All his actions, every movement is well prepared. Not too perfect to evoke a feeling of falseness, but without any wild surprises, keeping your guard down.
Today he's more collected than before his official meetings or important events. Why? Because losing his status or just getting a little confused on scene is not bothering his heart as much as thoughts about losing you on a strange path of your relationship with demons around. Moving closer to one demon brother, than to another, like a little brat that just plays on crossroads but never stepping too far away in one certain direction. And moreover, never looking in his way, stepping on Diavolo's side only when you're too bored and have no right mood with these seven jerks. You just know how to play with their hearts, and today there would be a punishment. Don't want to get closer on your own? Be ready that sooner or later there will be a strong arm that just finally drags you to one of the ways. And the young Lord is willing to make you fall into his ground. To his feet.
"Sorry that I didn't text you back sooner.. Was a little bit busy." - your soft smile is adorable, but he notices how the corners of your lips twitch a little before lifting up. Oh, busy? You always have this 'guilty smile', that's what he called it, when getting late in RAD or in his Castle, or somewhere else, just because you were having fun with someone else, not because you're busy. Foolish and so air headed outside, Diavolo actually carefully remembered all pieces of information about you, all these small differences in your reactions..
"Ah, it's okay! I'm ready to forgive you, but only if you would tell me what happened.." - no indication of envy or anger, only this slight flirt that he always did, which always makes you think you're in charge and can tease him a little.
"Oh, nothing too serious. You know, just Mammon again is-"
Listening to your voice while you two sit at the table, Diavolo truly listens to all this nonsense, showing his usual reaction - laugh and just a little bit of jealousy about you all having such a good time in House of Lamentation. But it's just a piece of his attention, when inside his thoughts were far away from all these demons, as he concentrated on a cup of herbal tea in your arm. Almost full without a few sips, maybe he should shut your mouth a little and tell you something too so you would pay more attention to your drink? Effect would last pretty long yet his patience is otherwise.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
"Really? I never knew that.." - you mumble, smiling weakly as you look at your almost empty cup. It was such a pretty long day, that's why you suddenly start feeling kinda strange? Something like drowsiness, but at the same time like a second wind too.. Like if you didn't sleep for a few days and all your motions get so slow but suddenly a new wave of energy hits your body.. But not in some fresh way, as these goosebumps on your skin make you heated up. It's like it hits not your whole insides, but only the lower part…? The more you try to describe your own feelings, the more confused you get. Such a mix of thoughts in your head makes you dizzy.
Oh. oh. And of course Diavolo quickly noticed that. Who, as if not your generous, kind and cheerful friend who invited you to visit him today, will help you now?
"S/o, is everything alright?" - the itch to add some slight mockery in his tone was almost irresistible, but that's too early for something like that. There's plenty of time for him to have some fun with vengeance for all days that you ignored him..
"No, I think I just don't sleep that well tonight.." - a small trembling sigh escapes your lips, as you rub your temple in circle motions. But thoughts keep fading away in the middle of sentences, how can you even explain to him properly this strange sudden fatigue?
"Hm, maybe we should have a little walk around my Castle? It always helps me feel a little bit more fresh.."
Diavolo's right, as it helps you too sometimes, especially when you just want to clear your head, like right now.
But today the corridors of his residence were more like a labyrinth, and even familiar places were so far away and strange for you. Necessity of carrying on a conversation did not divert you from this nagging waves of pain, and the cheerful, unstoppable bubbling of the young Lord just turns your mind into a complete mush. Where were your thoughts, and where was his one, that he pushed in your mind with this chirping..? Your weak whining was the only response to his question that you didn't even understand. Perfect.
"S/o..?" - Snaps of fingers were so close to your nose but you didn't even react that well, only shrugging a little. You lazily turned to face Diavolo, but not for scolding him for such boorish behavior, your minds didn't even produce a thought about this being disrespectful or just strange. You turn just because he attracted your attention in this way, that's it, and Diavolo loves how quickly you get so obedient. What else can he try then?
"You hear me? Are you alright?" - This time there's undisguised mockery, yet you didn't get mad, once again. And even when he steps closer and squeezes your waist with his hands, in a pretty firm grip on purpose, you only furrow your brows and mumble:
"Dia.. Wha.." - Without that much resistance. The way you place your hands on his shoulders even can be called like some romantical move, only slight attempts of pushing tells him that you're not really understand what's going on. Maybe even not like it or hate it, in the very depth of your minds, where his drug didn't reach for now? But it just turns him more.
That's it. You ARE weak now. The kindness and compassion have left, leaving you with a cold, dominant demon - one who is in control.
Throwing away this obligation of controlling his wishes, he drops his hands on your hips and moves you closer to himself with one quick, harsh pull. Warmth of your body was intoxicating, almost a Siren's call but in physical form. He even can feel slight movements of fingers that were now sandwiched between your and his chest. Honey, are you still trying to push him away?
"Dia.. It's wrong.." - And there's a Siren's call itself. Weak call that shows just how dizzy you are, how far away from reality.. A call to destroy your minds completely.
His hands squeezed your ass, pushing you closer and higher, on the same level to his face. Already on weak legs, all you can do to scoot up is just lean to Diavolo's body, letting him manhandle you now.
Somewhere through this fog in your brains you hear your own scream that beg to fight, to push him away. Somewhere through this wild burn in your body you feel some kind of fear and disgust, that telling you this is not a right way to do the thing, that something is wrong.. But these smacks of a little desperation were too weak to make a breach in the wall of thick, strange arouse that start arising in your bosom from such close contact with another body. Moreover, every minor thought faded away under pressure of Diavolo's lips.
It's more like he tries to devour you than kiss, pushing his tongue inside your mouth without warning as soon as you just gasp from his tight grasp on your ass. Rolls his tongue over and around your own, pushing it as deeply into your narrow mouth as he can, Diavolo didn't pay any attention to a new way of struggling from your side. Or maybe he feels every small push, enjoying it?
Tickles of the tip of his tongue on your palate sends waves of goosebumps directly in your minds, making your whole body hummed in response. And small vibrations of your moans titillate both you and him, boiling your already heated up minds.
Even a loud thud of the door behind you didn't bother you that much, and only when Diavolo pulled away himself, throwing on the mattress, did you wake up. Just a little, only able to realize you're in another room, with a big soft bed underneath you.
It's actually his bedroom that you visited oh so many times yet never leave your scent on his pillows or sheets, sitting only on the same couch every time. But right now whatever sense you got left in your brains wasn't enough to remember that, or even to panic from the fact you got dragged here and didn't even notice this. Everything was concentrated on Diavolo, who's towering over you, and on this burning feeling in your chest that makes it hard to breathe.
"You look so much better like this, darling." - It’s like a lover’s whisper but there’s a cruel, depraved edge to it that chills the heart. It’s almost like the whisper of a predator that knows its prey is helpless and won’t escape no matter how much it struggles. - "So much better with me, than with anyone else.."
The moment you weakly open your mouth to mumble some nonsense he gobbles you up again, no less but even more hungrily than before. Even Diavolo himself didn't know his appetite for you was so wild, but now, when he finally unleashes his true intentions, that doesn't matter. He can do anything he wants with you, and as long as he wants..
Every touch and kiss lewding you in some dirty, twisted way. Trails of his hands on your body were like burning sharp knives, like electrical discharges that increased this unbearable heat. Fragile whine in his mouth was the only retort you were capable of, but for Diavolo it sounds like some needy beg rather than a strong protest. You're not asking to leave you alone, you're asking to reduce this dizzying temperature in your insides.
Ripping and throwing away all your clothes sounds like a good help, isn't it? Your arms falling slack on sheets, too powerless to resist his actions, so pretty soon the only thing that hid your body from his sharp gaze was your underwear.
Just for a moment Diavolo pulled away to admire this new view that he imagined in his dreams for so long - round chest heaves with your deep, unsteady breaths, and your stomach rises and falls with each. Smoothest of your skin was on a higher level than any expensive, luxury fabric he ever was able to touch. And this scent.. No one of all incubus or succubus can compare with this throbbing seduction of your smell. But doesn't this mean he's the victim here, acting under the charm of your beauty?
"It's all your fault, s/o.." - leaning closer, he groans in your ear. Maybe you don't really understand what he's talking about, as every small brush of his skin on your naked one interrupts any incipient thoughts, but it doesn't mean he has no right to tell all these things that are stored up in the depth of his soul. - "Everything could have been different if you wouldn't be like that, playing and fucking around with everyone.."
He grabs your chin to make look up at him - eyes have taken on a distant look, and your lips are trembling, trying to breathe more.. Yes, you definitely almost don't understand him, only sligh shine of confusion and fear in your eyes through a fog of lust can be seen. But it's better like this, cause now you at least don't resist his action.
Long, wet path of kisses on your body, as if Diavolo tries to mark every small part of your skin with his lips. The closer he moves to your trembling hips, the more sloppy his movements get, and when he finally stops right in front of your waistband, heavily breathing, his kisses are more reminiscent of some hungry impatient licks. Hot unsteady breath makes you whimper again and you look at him with half-lidded eyes, confused with his action. Your body is being flooded with a mix of unreal arouse and some creeping fear. Maybe this drug was good enough to turn your brains and body into a complete mess, but something in your guts keeps screaming to stop this.
"Dia.. Don't.. S-stop.."
"Don't stop? Of course, my darling.." - a low growl as his lips are within a breath of distance from your clit.
He presses his whole face to your cunt, drowning into warm wetness and intoxicating scent. Thin fabric of your panties was more like a tease for you when he started licking your folds right through panties. Like some poor, starving for months puppy, he pounced upon your pussy like it was a sacred dish.
His big hands moved from your waist to your thighs, spreading them apart as you kept squeezing them together and bothering his fun. One warning bite on your inner thigh before he pulled down your underwear with his teeth.
For a moment your and his eyes meet each other, as if he gives you another warning to not keep being a brat even in such a state and just gives him what he wants.
But his visage started to warp, along with this stern look - you break. Moaning, you toss your head back and lift your hips, begging to continue. All last hopes and screams leave your mind, nagging, painful ache that was waiting for release, win.
"That's it. What a fucking good girl you can be.."
Leaving your legs apart, he moved his hand to open your labia. Small throbbing clit, and this clenching around nothing hole.. His own dick twitch, so hard and hot in his pants, but Diavolo can wait just a little bit more to play all his fantasies.
Nimble fingers up against a bundle of nerves, then upwards, enjoying every millimeter. Such a small thing and such a light stroke, yet your whole body hummed in response. Slowly moving up and down, then in circular movements, Diavolo remembered every reaction, every gasp and whimper along with sudden shrugs of your shoulders or legs.. Do you not love like this, and prefer like that? He'll keep that in mind for the future, when you wake from drugs just to see him ready to repeat everything.
His fingers get lower, playing between folds, soaking in your juices while he presses his mouth to your clit. Just a small kiss, as he squeezes a sensitive spot with his lips, but your voice immediately gets higher, hips lift even more, as if you try to find more friction. What a cute reaction.. Opening his mouth and sucking your clit in, at the same time pushing it with his tongue, he didn't move his eyes from your face even for a second, devouring every slight twitch of your brows or lips. The way you start whining more, the way your needy cunt clenches more every time his fingers pressed around your entrance… In Diavolo's mind it means only one thing - there's no way you're enjoying this only because of befuddling drugs, you're enjoying it because you're just a little obedient slave that waited to be taken in some harsh and rough way. And Diavolo doesn't mind to show who's your master now.
Even when he pushes his finger in, without any warnings, you didn't pried him off, but moved further, letting him sink inside you and he quickly added another finger. Are you so loosened up because of an aphrodisiac he also added to this tea, or is it just a normal reaction of your body when somebody is being so irreverent with you? Thoughts about you always being like this just for him, only for him, always ready to feel him inside you and being so obediently silent with your disagreements but so loud with your sinful moans.. It's starting to be unbearable for him too, so his fingers quickly get in pretty fast pace, stretching your walls.
"You liked it, didn't you? You liked being such a fucking slut.." - Diavolo groans, tickling your clit with a low husky breath. Weak gasp from your lips didn't sound like a good response, so he disdainfully squeezed your tensed nerves between his teeth, just a little, but enough to draw more pleasant to his ears high pitched whine from your chest. - "Keep showing me how you like that.."
Like if your body is drawn to follow the orders of the young Lord, you immediately moan again, but this time from a strong aggressive hit of his fingers inside you cunt. Your surroundings began to swim with every thrust, as your hips jut upwards in one rhythm with his hand. Pulsation in your core reaches its peak, making you shudder in agony of enthralling pleasure, before you cum.
Such a strong wave that it is almost painful, like some piercing discharge. Your muscles feel more relaxed yet your insides are not revealed but filled even more with some dirty coercion to ache and beg for another release, and then for another and another.. Like you never would be satisfied, feeling this yearning that is amplified with drugs in your body again and again. And Diavolo knows that, ready to use you, who's now at his disposal, till blackness would crowd in on your vision and you would fall into deep narcotic sleep… Or maybe even after that?
Low groan thundered on the whole room when his now exposed dick twitch from cold air. Diavolo leans closer and grope your waist, almost buries you under his weight when his flushed head glides down your folds and presses to your clenching cunt, mixing his precum with your juices. Your hips wiggled a bit to grind back to his cock and he can't help but smirk, enjoying the way you completely forget about your arrogant behavior and get so obedient.. so needy to his dick. Now he just needs to make sure to pound you so good that you will be like that even without any aphrodisiac.
Pushing himself deep inside your wet cunt, he froze for a moment. Not to make you get used to his pretty thick length, but to give himself some time to overcome his strong goosebumps from your tightness. It feels much better than he ever can imagine, than he ever can make himself feel with the calloused seal of his own hand.. Almost if he's the one who's being corrupted here, not you.
He starts to slide back his cock out of your pussy and then to slide in with more force, just to experience this tickle on the back of his head once more. There's no way he can be gentle even in the beginning, when you lewding him like that with these pathetic whines. You wrap your legs around his wait yourself, you just BEG to be fucked, not crying to stop. Even your grasp on his shoulders is just the way to show your desire and these scratches from your nails on his skin is just a passion, he knows for sure.
Hovering over you like a predator over his prey, he just starts thrusting in some aggressive speed, stretching your walls with such force it's turning your minds into havoc. More marks on your body - kisses, hickeys, scratches - he will make sure there's no place that he didn't touch with his lips or didn't grope with his hands.
But the main act that will reinforce his point of owning you is only in the future, but his dick already starts grinding from thoughts about filling your pussy with his cum again and again. And even if you would be too full to take more with this greedy cunt, there's another holes in your body he would be glad to fulfill to the very end.
"You were waiting for it, didn't you? Whining my name like a little bitch in heat." - he whispered right in your ear but even such close contact didn't help to get his words into your empty head. Your mouth moved on its own, calling him in desperate moans as you didn't know yourself if you actually started begging for more or still resisting his wild urges.. But did it actually matter at such a moment? As there is no escape from the suffocating delight of unravel underneath him.
Your pussy starts to spasm, ready for another breakneck orgasm. And you feel his dick grinding against your walls in response, spreading soaking precum inside you. Grasp on your waist was strong enough to break a bone, but Diavolo moved one arm to hold your chin in the same firm grip and make you look up at him. He just wants to see how your eyes would be darkened by another wave of pleasure, how you would look when he finally made you completely his.. Rough sloppy kiss before he slammed his dick fully inside you, shooting hot sperm in your cervix. Tightening around the base of his dick, your cunt was almost milking him, sucking every drop with wild pulsations.
Some sort of sore starts nagging in your body and you collapse on the bed, mewling for some break. But only a few seconds was enough to catch a breath to a demon, as he started moving again even in a more aggressive way, slapping your hips with his own. None of your whines never would be considered as asking to stop, Diavolo just doesn't hear any painful undertones on your voice, just some luring possession that resonates with his delusional mind.
His dick was stiff again, hitting your sensitive spot with swollen glans with every thrust. Hitting your whole body with new waves that turn you more and more into some dumb, empty doll for his wishes and desires.
Diavolo will make sure to turn you into some obedient cock slave through some good punishment for all this time he was the one who's missed you. Now it's his time to be in charge and make you beg, and yearn, and cry for him.. to make you addicted to his love.. or lust?
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thelastofhyde · 5 days
Text
you cut your hair, and take some space (2)
pairing. narcos!javier peña x fem!reader
synopsis. an anthology of events that precede and procede the termination of you and your father's best friend's sexual relationship. this is part 2 of 3! (part 1)
warnings. no use of y/n! all spanish text is followed by immediate translation ( please note that i am fluent in castilian spanish, therefore some words/phrases may differ from that of other hispanic countries ), age gap , student!reader, dbf!javi, post-s3!javi, policeofficer!javi bc i said so, break up au, mutual pining, forbidden lovers kind of vibes, reader has a healthy relationship with her parents, violence, nondescript depictions of sa ( not javi ), pedro-ception aka there's a small cameo of another pedro boy, vomiting, mentions of pregnancy, reader is described to have hair and celebrates christmas ( but no mention of the reader's religious beliefs )! smut ( creampie, breeding kink through the roof, domesticity kink?? javi just wants to love and be loved and start a family, dacryphilia, indecent use of a credit card, spanking, dirty talk, prostitution kink?? i feel like i'm making these up at this point, + a hell of a lot more ) this fic is based on bsc by maisie peters except this has a happy ending bc im a sucker for mr. peña :( not all warnings listed here appear in this part, these are warnings for the fic as a whole !
word count. 14.3k
hyde’s input. hey... hey... how y'all doin'?🧍remember when i said part 2 would be posted a few weeks after part 1? yeah, that was a fucking lie. and, remember when i said it would be 2 parts in total? that was also a lie! the universe is praying on my downfall ( i had a fun mental health episode and fell into a black hole for a few months <3 ) unfortunately, i am very much still alive and kicking, so this is me trying to get the ball rolling again when it comes to posting fics. as the fic has surpassed 40k words, meaning it would likely crash the tumblr site for anyone trying to read it + tumblr will not allow me to post it as a whole due to it's paragaph-count limit, i've decided to post it in three parts. the fic will be posted in full on ao3 once all three parts are available on tumblr!
if you see any typos, no you didn't 🫣
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“...wouldn’t have to be serious,” he’s speaking, finishing off a sentence you don’t quite catch the start of. “huh?” “this. us. it could be casual, y’know?”
Golden boy, you dropped the ball I am Annie fucking Hall
The year moves too fast.
It’s like you blink, and suddenly it’s Thanksgiving.
Leaves turn brown. Pumpkins are carved only to rot upon front porches. A gathering of friends, young adults getting their first taste at hosting a thanksgiving meal.
You’re put on dessert duty, which culminates in stressful tears and your mother’s hand rubbing soothing circles into your back, reassuring you that it’s okay, everyone burns their first pie.
No one at the party needs to know the pumpkin pie you brought was a product of your mother’s gentle care.
Then there is actual Thanksgiving, which you celebrate, as always, at your aunt's.
The highlight is, and forever has been, the road-trip out of state, your father making it his mission to deafen you and your mother with his horrific singing.
As they drop you back at your apartment, your father has no qualms leaning out the car window and calling after you.
“I expect to see you cheering me on at the Thanksgiving Touchdown event!”
Which brings you here, to said event, sweater sleeves tugged over cold fingers and a wandering pair of eyes who refuse to comply with your wants.
You want to focus on the ongoing football match- Fire Department vs Police.
Your eyes prefer to follow him, striding up the field, his hair soaked in sweat and his t-shirt long removed.
You’ve no valid reason to roll your eyes at the other women who seem to prefer spectating the sport of Javier Peña. You’re no better than them.
Yet, as one of them let’s out a joyous shriek as he takes a pass at the ball, your eyes roll.
"He’s a show-off, that boy.”
At least you have company. An older gentleman, who you caught struggling to pick his wallet up from the floor. He’d smiled as you returned it, and conversation had flowed easily from there.
As the whistle blew, commencing the final match of the local community services’ football league- or, Thanksgiving Touchdown, as your father so aptly named it-, he’d patted the empty seat next to him.
“Hmm?”
He points, and you follow the direction, realising he’s speaking about Javi.
“Him,” he says it with a teasing tone to his voice. It’s like he’s mocking the agent. “Think’s he’s God’s gift, takin’ his top off like that.”
The more you sit with the older gentleman, the more you enjoy his company.
On the field, your dad bellows something at Javi. He replies with a curt salute, and shoots off down the length of it.
He’s fast, agile, stealthy.
A force to be reckoned with, keeping pace with rookies half his age.
The vision of him, gun strapped to his leg and a tact vest on his chest, speeding down streets in the columbian heat conjures in your mind.
You wonder how it felt to know him then, if worry kept his companions awake.
It had certainly kept you awake in recent months, and that was with him safe, in Laredo, cooped up in some bachelor pad.
“Surprised he’s not thrown his top to the crowd of screaming ladies!” The gentleman continues his mocking, and it rouses laughter out of both of you.
A whistle is blown, your eyes return to the field and, though he’s quick to look away, you catch the tail end of Javier’s eyes on you.
Fifteen minutes pass, in which you do your best to not stare at him.
You’ve made worse attempts in the past.
Eventually, the man next to you coaxes you into getting him a lemonade from the food truck.
You oblige, of course, and deny his attempts to hand you cash, insist it’s on you.
He’s kept you smiling on a rather gloomy day.
You tell him you’ll be right back, smile, and realise you don’t know his name.
“Chucho,” he tells you, and waves you off.
You join the queue, keep your head down, ignore the gossiping women three spots ahead of you, claiming to have each shared an encounter with Javi.
You don’t need to know what he’s been up to.
You don’t want to know who he’s been up to it with.
It happens when you’re finally being served.
There’s no longer a queue, just you, smiling as sweetly as possible. The service industry is rough enough, nevermind on holidays.
You order successfully, both Chucho’s lemonade and a hot chocolate for yourself.
The guy working the truck- young enough, a bit too traditionally good-looking, with coiffed hair and a shaven face- he’s talkative.
Friendly.
Too friendly.
Till it crosses the border into flirty.
You’re not interested.
At all.
But it’s flattering, to feel wanted.
Even more so after a something that means nothing yet everything ends out of the blue and you’re left reeling over whether or not some part of you is to blame.
So you let him shoot you his dashing smile, and throw in unnecessary pet-names that just feel forced into every sentence he speaks to you, and write his number on the paper cup of your hot chocolate.
“Here you go, pumpkin,” he winks. The pet-name feels a little too on the nose for the season. Couldn’t he have called you sweetheart instead? “A sweet treat for that sweet smile.”
You wonder if he’s allowed to gift the free donut he slides your way.
Your stomach growls and begs for sugary release before you can fully bring yourself to care.
An awkward thanks. Hands reach up to grab the to-go cups, three fingers curling up the bagged donut. 
He helps you get a grip on the beverages, placing them in your hands.
His touch lingers, more than necessary, fingertips brushing over your knuckles as if trapped in slow-motion.
“So, a pretty girl like you got a boyfriend, or are you gonna let me take you out to-”
Gasps fill the air.
Half the crowd boos.
Your father screams one name, loud and clear, down the pitch.
“Peña, get your head out your fucking ass and pick up the ball!”
Turning on your heal, the scene unfolds.
The ball, abandoned on the ground.
The players, scrambling to grab it before one another.
Javier, frozen in place, face an unreadable maze of emotions, eyes staring right at you.
They follow you all the way back to your seat, even as the game picks up again.
Even as you congratulate your dad on another victory for the police department, now the four-time consecutive champions of the Thanksgiving Touchdown.
Even as you head off to your father’s car.
Even when you’re home, curled under a blanket and watching a televised copy of Annie Hall, you feel his eyes on you.
The look of betrayal on Javier Peña haunts you even once you fall asleep.
If you don’t love me, What was April?
You’ve always been organised.
Everything has it’s place, from the books that line your bedside table to the memories inside your mind.
You compartmentalise.
Tucked deep into the right side of your brain, there’s a box.
It’s contents, memories you’ve yet to process.
Moments you know that, if you wish to move on, you’ll have to relive.
Caution tape holds the lid shut.
Fragile stickers cover every corner.
And, scribbled in bold red marker, April ‘99.
A late night.
You, wide awake, laying on your back and mapping out stars in his ceiling.
Javier fell asleep hours ago and now snores softly against your neck, muscled arm curled around your waist as his legs entangle your own.
The agent is a fiend for cuddling, and so often wraps himself around you like a vine.
You find yourself nestling your hand in his hair, and take note of the sharp breath he intakes.
Go still.
Worry you’ve woken him.
Relax when you feel him snore and press himself even deeper against your naked skin.
He’s tired. Exhausted.
Work was getting to him as of late.
He hadn’t told you that, but he didn’t need to.
You know him. You can read him.
Can tell in the way he moved slower against you.
In the way he let you take the lead, resting back against the couch to watch how your hips wound down on him.
In the way he got even clingier than usual, dragging you into the shower with him just to have you near, holding you from behind as you washed up the plates he’d used to serve you dinner (a trade-off he’d reluctantly agreed to months ago: he cooks, you clean), laying his head on your lap as you curled up to watch some cheesy horror movie- one you’re bound to fall asleep during and he’s counting on it, glancing up till he spots you slumped over and eyes closed, granting him the perfect excuse to carry you to his bed and nestle himself in beside you.
Unlike other nights, you’re trapped awake.
Something feels off, makes you queasy.
There’s something nagging at your mind.
It’s like you’ve forgotten something, misplaced something, and can’t even figure out what it is.
You just know its absence is wrong.
Javi mumbles something, dreaming away, and you feel the subtle press of his lips against your skin.
Fingers curl tightly into the fabric of your (his) shirt.
He can’t get you close enough, it seems.
Playing against his wants, you pull back, slowly, trying to catch a glimpse of his face.
There’s a pinch between his brows, furrowed in worry.
It’s not fair, you think.
Sleep is usually where you see him at his calmest.
It’s a selfish act, born purely from your own desire, but you find yourself pressing a kiss against his forehead.
His grip loosens, though slightly.
It gives you enough time to feel a stir between your thighs, a calling coming from your bladder.
So you do your best to slip out his hold.
It’s a struggle that leaves you topless and feeling a pinch of cruelty, standing over the bed as you watch his hand grabbing at the vacant spot you once occupied, your scent and shirt the only traces you leave behind.
You don’t bother turning on a light, make your way to his bathroom with practiced ease.
Pad your way across the cold linoleum floor, sink down onto the porcelain seat- he’d stopped leaving it up when your overnight visits became more frequent. You hadn’t asked- didn’t need to ask-, he’d simply done it.
Closing the door over, yet not enough for the hinges to squeak and the handle to lock, you pray the wood muffles noise of the flushing toilet.
When it stops, you wait a few seconds, until you’re sure there’s no rustling coming from his bedroom.
Then, you open the tap.
The water is barely a trickle, yet you tell yourself its enough.
Lather your hands in soap, sit them under the constant drip of cold water till you feel the suds wash down the drain.
It’s hard to stop yourself from sneaking a glance at the mirror, just as it’s hard to recognise the version of yourself you see.
Your hair frames your face, though messy.
Your eyes are bloodshot, yet carry less bags.
Your cheeks are rounder, fuller.
You look different.
You feel it too.
Yhen come the thoughts of Javier, and how he sees you.
Has he noticed a change?
Is he the reason for it?
Does he feel different, too?
Your stomach flips.
He’s not said anything. Or done anything, to make you notice a change.
But, then, Maybe it’s been subtle, slow, dragged out long enough it’s not drastic enough for either of you to take note of.
You eye the spare toothbrush he keeps in his bathroom, and try to remember when it became yours.
You don’t remember.
One moment, his toothbrush sat alone. And, the next, you were standing side by side, laughing as you raced to see who could make a foamier mess of the toothpaste.
Corazón, you look like a rabid animal, he’d called you once, laughing through tears as he wiped away the white suds dripping off your chin. You’re lucky that you’re just so cute.
You can recall, even now, how quickly his mouth had found yours that night, with no ulterior motive other than to bask in the minty taste of one another.
The stir in your stomach becomes more intense.
Eyes refocusing, you find yourself in the mirror again.
Only, sweat lines your forehead and your face seems drained of colour.
You make it only two steps back before you’re hurtling across the bathroom floor.
Your knees crash down first, harsh and unforgiving against the tiles.
The first wretch burns, has you coughing over your own gag.
In the dark, it’s hard to see what exactly comes out of you, but you know where it came from.
Your stomach.
Another wave of nausea hits, this one harder, and you’re gripping at the sides of the bowl, spewing into the water below.
A splash meets your cheek, but you’re too out of it to care, wave after wave of nausea leaving you a coughing, gagging, crying mess.
You feel lightheaded, only managing a moment to catch your breath before another wave hits.
It feels like you’re suffocating.
It’s in your throat, in your mouth, in your nose, in your hair.
It feels like it’s never stopping and you’re doomed to spend the rest of your days submitting to the horrors of throwing-
“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” warmth, against your naked back.
It’s a nice warmth, not like the one that has you covered in a cold sweat.
There’s a soothing motion over your skin.
Up, down, up, down.
You try to follow it, match your breathing to the tactile comfort.
“That’s it, baby,” cool air meets your neck, the hairs that stuck to your skin now pulled up and pushed back. “I’m right here, I got you.”
Eventually, all that’s left is the burning of bile at the back of your throat and the dull ache of eyes gone raw with tears.
You’re pulled into a solid mass, naked chest pressed to naked chest as you go slack upon the bathroom floor.
You’re exhausted, and covered in your own sweat, tears and vomit.
Javier doesn’t care, pulling you tighter against him and whispering sweet words you don’t quite pay attention to.
“Woke up and you weren’t there, corazón. Don’t do that again,” even in his attempts to chastise, he’s gentle, brushing the remaining strands of sweat-slicked hair off your face. You must be an awful sight, yet his expressions don’t give way. “You wake up, you wake me up too. ‘Specially if you’re gonna hurl, okay?”
You glance at him, swallow back a lump and deal with the realisation that dawned upon you ten minutes earlier, as you sat hunched over the toilet’s bowl.
“Javi,” he smiles at the way you call his name.
You feel sick all over again at the thought of that changing, everything changing, as you build the courage to speak.
He calls your own name back to you.
“I’m late.”
You await the sharp inhale.
And the unwinding of arms.
You imagine he’ll stand up, pace the floor.
Run his hands through his hair, rant over every thought he has.
Ways to get rid of it, the dangers of your dad finding out.
Then he’ll turn the blame to you.
That’s what men do, right?
He’ll ask why you weren’t safer, why you forgot to take that morning-after pill, why you played so fast-and-loose with your body.
None of it arrives.
He stands, yes, but only to pull you up with him, tired limbs leaning into his strong build as he drags you both under the heat of a warm shower.
You watch the remnants of your own vomit wash down the drain, and question how he can stand there, not disgusted with you.
He dries you off, delicate drags over your skin.
He’s rougher with himself, scarcely drying properly before he’s carrying you back to his bed, a replay of hours earlier as he lays you down, crawls in behind you and tucks you both under the soft comfort of his worn-out sheets.
Only, this time you’re wide awake.
He so easily nestles himself behind you, dragging you back against him and committing himself to the role of big-spoon.
His hands have always felt large, their touch always electrifying, but nothing compares to the feeling of him splaying one across your lower stomach, a subtle press into where part of him could be growing within you.
“Javi,” you whine, fighting off the sleep your overwhelmed body so badly needs. “I’m sorry.”
You say it because you feel obligated, like it’s your place to be apologetic.
After all, the blame is yours, surely.
“No seas boba (Don’t be silly),” there’s a fresh set of tears already sliding down your cheeks by the time he replies. “Don’t need to be sorry, baby.”
“But I-”
“But, nothing,” his tone feels final, one that tells you you’ll get nowhere arguing against him. “You’ve done nothing wrong, corazón.”
You fall asleep, eventually, soothed by his gentle breathing and the repeated motion of his thumb stroking over your belly.
Yhe next time you awake, there’s a crack of sunlight creeping through his blinds.
Javi’s still in bed, only he’s propped up on his elbow and staring down at you.
His smile stretches a little wider when he spots your open eyes.
Lips press against your own, soft and subtle.
A quiet greeting, a wordless goodmorning.
“I gotta go, corazón,” is met with a protest from you, rolling over to curl into his solid chest.
Expecting it, he wraps you up tighter in his arms, presses an array of chaste kisses to your head.
You don’t want him to leave this bed.
Or this apartment.
You don’t want him out, in the real world, where the hours you’ve spent cooped up together become more scandalous than the peaceful nature of them.
“I know, I know. Don’t wanna go either, baby,” you wonder if you spoke your thoughts aloud, or if Javi simply knows you so well.
Eventually, he peels himself away from you.
You watch him dress.
Tell him which tie to wear.
Help him tie it, the comforter pooled around your naked waist as you sit criss-cross-apple-sauce and Javi’s at the side of the bed, legs bent at the knee.
He thanks you with a kiss, then asks you to pass him his cologne.
It’s on the other side of the bed- his side of the bed- and you lean over to grab it.
You don’t bother handing him it, spraying it directly onto your own wrist and dabbing it into the skin of his tanned neck.
He lets you, a gentle smile on his face and eyes that pull you in for a hug, burrowing himself between your naked breasts.
He presses a kiss between them, hums in enjoyment.
“You’re gonna smell like me all day, cariño (darling),” he tells you.
“Good,” you reply.
Another hum, this time of approval, and a squeeze to your hip.
When he pulls back, he looks even more reluctant to leave.
Reality rears it’s ugly head, but he pushes it out your mind with the pressing of his hand against your stomach, the same spot he’d held onto all night.
Leans down, brushes his lips against it.
Your hands instinctually curl in his hair, and you like to think you leave it a little messy, enough to ward off any of the women he works along side, hopeful eyes hoping to get a taste of the handsome, unmarried cop.
“Stay,” he mumbles against your skin, as if you’re the one who’s about to leave. “Don’t go, ok? I’ll call around lunch.”
He keeps his word.
Calls you, a few minutes past two, interrupting whatever daytime TV you were pretending to watch.
Answering leaves you feeling lightheaded, like you're trapped in a daydream.
Listening to him croon down the line while your finger anxiously tangles in the phone’s wire as you stand in his apartment, it feels domestic, like you’re waiting for him to come back home, a place you share together.
The thought has you pressing a hand against your womb.
“How bout you, corazón?” He knows how to make you melt, picturing him smiling at his desk. “Have you ate yet?”
With a grimace, you admit you haven’t.
“You need to eat, baby,” you don’t like the fact he uses that pet-name, not right now. “There’s plenty in the fridge. Could make yourself a sandwich, or some toast. Might even have some of that pasta left over. You know, that one you said you liked? Oh, wait, maybe don’t eat that, don’t think uncooked salmon is good for pregn-”
You don’t want him to say the P word, so you cut him off.
“I’ll probably just have toast.”
He says ok, then you hear him take a bite of whatever his lunch is.
The call goes on a little longer.
It’s mostly him talking.
He tells you a quick story, something about one of the younger guys accidentally stapling his tie to an arrest warrant.
That rouses a laugh out of you, makes you forget all about the massive P word he almost said.
“I’ll be home soon, okay?”
That sounds nice coming from Javi.
Home.
Not his home, just home.
A place he feels his soul at rest.
A place he’d begged you to stay this morning, safe and tucked away.
“Was thinking we could drive out to the clinic, find out for sure if we’re pr-” he cuts himself off this time, like he knows you’re not ready to hear that word. “Then we’ll take things from there, okay? Whatever you decide you wanna do, corazón, you call the shots.”
He keeps his word, again.
Comes home barely three hours later.
He walks through the door and welcomes the way you coil yourself around him, humming in delight as he peppers a few kisses over your face.
“Still smell like me,” he says it with approval, takes a purposeful whiff at you as he pulls you tighter against him.
You still smell his cologne on him too, buried beneath a few layers of sweat and cigarette smoke.
Near clinging to one another, it’s a miracle you two make it out his apartment and down the elevator.
An arm around your waist, he guides you over to his car.
Pulls the door open for you, stops you from bumping your head on the way in.
He practically runs round the car’s hood, jumping into the driver’s seat and thrumming the engine to life with the turn of a key.
“You remember to eat?” He asks as he pulls out onto the street.
You nod, then audibly reply.
Tell him you did in fact eat toast, leave out the part where you spewed your guts again twenty minutes later.
The drive is quiet.
Not uncomfortable, just relaxed, with the radio playing gently and his window rolled down enough to let in some air.
At some point, his hand slides over the console and rests against your thigh.
You welcome it, covering it with your own.
As you watch out the window how he drives past the turning for the local hospital, he must catch your questioning gaze.
“They, uh,” he clears his throat, rings his hand over the steering wheel. A small stain of sweat marks it. “Know your dad pretty well in there. And me. Figure you’d rather he not find out about us like that.”
He’s right.
So you relax back into your seat, accept the fact you’re both driving out of town together.
At some point, the beginning notes of your favourite song play through the stereo.
You instantly perk up, sitting up straighter in your seat and tap your foot a little to the beat.
Javi says nothing, simply peels his hand off you to turn the volume dial up.
Seconds later, he turns his head and throws you a look just asking if he’s done good.
You smile, and thread your fingers between his own.
A soft squeeze before he pulls them up to his lips, eyes back on the road.
The clinic is bright.
And squeaky, each step you take making you a little more nervous than the last.
Javier, by all accounts, is solid as a rock, signing you both in, picking up a few pamphlets, buying you a can of soda, all while you curl up in some plastic chair and just focus on not spewing your guts out.
You only relax once he’s sat beside you, helping you get a sip of the sugary drink and wrapping a protective arm around you.
You don’t mean to but you fall victim to sleep, the past 24 hours getting the best of you.
You come-to likely not much later, but to the sound of a childish giggle.
Cracking one eye open, just slightly, you notice you’re slumped into Javier, head on his shoulder.
There’s a giggling little girl in front of you both, in purple overalls and with two pigtails to hold her curly hair.
One of her hands is on Javi’s knees, using him to keep herself standing.
“First time?” You snap your eyes shut as a stranger’s voice fills the quiet bustle of the clinic.
A confused sound leaves Javier.
“Yeah, could tell from the look on your lady’s face,” the man continues. “Same one my own wife had during our first visit.”
You want to pay attention to Javi’s response, but you’re a bit busy dealing with the fact he’s not correcting the man, telling him you’re not his lady nor his wife.
His thumb soothes over your hip, and you wonder at what rate you’ll melt away into a pile of nothing thanks to his soft touches.
“You hoping for a boy or a girl?”
You tell yourself to try harder, to actually pay attention.
You succeed, catch as Javi replies, “a girl.”
“Yeah?” the stranger seems genuinely invested, it almost makes you want to open your eyes, see him for yourself.
But you don’t want to ruin the moment.
“Wanted a boy, myself,” that same little girl giggles again and you can’t fight the temptation to peek once more, catch as she crawls into her faceless-father’s lap. “Doc told us it was gonna be a boy, too. Then this one came along and, wouldn’t ya know, not a boy.”
“Surprise!” the little girl squeals, and you feel Javi’s shoulder shake under your head.
God, you want to look at him, see if he’s looking at her with the same adoration that’s festering in your heart.
“Yeah, baby, you’re my little Sarah-Surprise,” the man coos and, despite his rough accent, it suits him. Like he was only ever meant to speak with gentle words and a soft heart, all for his precious daughter. “It’ll get easier, on your lady, just so ya know. Less scary, more exciting. ‘Bout to welcome our second one, and I’ve never seen my wife so happy.”
Javi’s still not correcting him.
It makes you nauseous for a whole new reason.
“Mr. Miller?” A voice calls out.
A nurse, you imagine.
A chair squeaks as pressure is taken off it, the stranger standing.
You peak your eye open in time to see him picking his daughter up, her little legs dangling off his hip.
He takes a few steps, till Javi interrupts him.
“What,” he clears his throat, and you wonder if it’s of emotion. “What are you hoping for this time?”
“A girl.”
Eventually, it’s your turn.
You’d pretended to wake up to Javier’s coaxing.
Shuffled into some room, reluctantly separating from Javi.
A smiley nurse handed you a cup, talked you through what you needed to do for your tests.
Took your blood pressure, complimented your earrings, and stepped out the room to give you privacy.
A short while and a reunion with Javi later, you sat in a doctor’s office, both a nervous wreck as you clasped each other’s hand.
“Mrs. peña,” again, Javier does not correct the doctor. And you realise it’s because he filled out the forms, he signed you in. He wrote you down as Peña. “You and your husband are not pregnant.”
What should have followed was a sigh of relief, from both of you.
But all you felt was led drop in your stomach and Javier’s grip tighten on your hand.
“You are, however, displaying symptoms of acute food poisoning, likely salmonella.”
The doctor continues on, detailing a prescription you’re being given.
But it falls on deaf ears, the world around you gone blank as you wrestle with conflicting emotions.
You’re not pregnant.
You should be elated. Jumping, and cheering, and dancing all over the place. Instead, you’re silent, letting yourself be guided back into the car by Javi.
This time, the drive is silent.
Not quiet.
Silent.
You watch him drive past the turning into your street.
He doesn’t explain that he’s taking you back to his place.
Getting you back in his bed, switching off the lights, he curls himself in behind you and splays his hand over your stomach.
Over your empty womb.
For some reason, you find yourself sobbing into your pillow, unaware of the tears from him that stain your neck as he tries to hush you.
“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” the irony of him repeating those very same words last night is not lost on you.
It’s hard to move on, when every month there’s a stabbing pain in your abdomen and a trickle of blood staining your underwear to remind you of April.
And so you keep it locked in it’s box, slapping another caution tape over it’s lid as you groan and roll out your own bed, trudging your way into your bathroom to check if the wetness between your thighs is your monthly visitor.
You played a game But I run the table
You’re avoiding your dad’s calls.
It’s not because he’s done anything to warrant your rejection, but, rather, it’s the forthcoming actions he’ll be guilty of.
See, you know why he’s calling.
Your mom let it slip, over brunch and a few too many glasses of wine.
He’s hosting another poker night.
He wants you there, as always.
Some baseless theory of you being his good luck charm.
Or, at least, that’s what you were until the last poker night he’d hosted, way back in March.
He slips away, phoned by your tipsy mother and obligated to drive three towns over to go pick her up because she misses him.
“Fill in for me, will ya, kiddo?”
It was less a suggestion, more of a pleading, his hands already scraping the seat back and awaiting you to plop yourself down.
He leaves you with his hand, his winnings so-far, and a kiss to the top of your head.
“Watch out for Peña,” he whispered, as if you hadn’t been keeping an eye on the agent all evening, clouded by his own cigarette smoke and sitting looser each sip of his whiskey, no ice. “His poker face is dangerous.”
He turns out to be no threat.
None of the officer’s are, really.
Rounds end and rounds start, and you father’s pile of winnings grow more and more.
It’s an ego boost, taking money from these cocky men who look at you as though surely you have no clue what cards you’re holding.
But, taking from Javi?
That’s something else, entirely.
Each time you win, he gets more agitated.
Flinging down cards, muttering curses, shoving his cash across the table.
All whilst glaring, at you, eyes black with ire.
And intoxication.
And something else.
Something you know all too well on Javier.
Lust.
Nearly an hour’s past since your father left, someone else leaves the table.
Says he needs the toilet, you point him in the direction of it.
You all call for a break, and then you graciously offer a refill on drinks.
It’s what your dad would’ve done, kept them all drinking and lowering their inhibitions, their focus disappearing alongside it.
“I’ll help!” One of the officers exclaims.
He’s on the younger side.
Practically a rookie, it’s only the second poker night he’s attended.
He’s sweet, with his large-framed glasses and his nervous smile.
You both make your way out of the basement- refurbished to be your dad’s man-cave- and head towards the kitchen.
You open the fridge, grab however many bottles of beer you need.
He heads to the liquor cabinet, pulls out a bottle bourbon.
You beat him at grabbing the whiskey, an unvoiced need to be the one who refills Javi’s glass.
Maybe, he’ll offer you a sip.
Conversation flows naturally between you, in spite of him being a near stranger.
He asks about college.
You ask about working with your dad.
You both agree on the fact he’s a pain in the ass.
He tells you about a new bar, downtown.
You tell him where to go to get the best club sandwich.
It’s light, it’s easy, it’s friendly.
You’re enjoying his company.
nNeither of you can tell who causes it, but one of you mispronounces a word and you both wind up in a pile of giggles, falling over yourselves and banging into counters.
His hands grip his sides.
You’re clutching your chest.
Through wheezes, he repeats the phrase that left you both in this state.
You laugh harder, louder, warn him to stop before you lose control of your bladder.
Something thuds in the hallway, your eyes shoot up to the kitchen entry and you swear you see Javi’s retreating figure.
Blink a few times, realise there’s no one there.
You both gather some decorum.
He grabs as many of the beer bottles he can manage, and looks at your empty hands in question.
You tell him to head back without you, that you just need to go to the toilet.
Parting ways, you find the both the downstairs and upstairs bathrooms occupied.
Sigh in frustration, only to remember your parents en suite.
It’s empty, because of course it is. No one would feel comfortable enough invading the privacy of your parents' bedroom.
You do your business, wash your hands, fix yourself in the mirror.
Decide your lipstick needs a little touch-up, your clothes need straightening out.
And, when you’re done and ready to head back down to the poker table, you hear a thud.
Pull open the bathroom door, expect to find your father struggling to put a tipsy, giggly, clumsy version of your mother into bed.
Instead, there is only a brooding look and disapproving grunt.
A firm grip, on your arm, dragging you right back into the bathroom.
The door slams shut, a little harsher than you’d like, the sound of it surely reaching the ears of those regrouping for the next dealing of the cards.
He doesn’t pounce, like he so usually does when he’s wearing that look of frustration.
He’s simmering in it, teetering on the edge of boiling anger as he smooths a hand over his chin, visibly clenching his jaw, swallowing back whatever it is he wants to say to you.
He takes one step forward, and you go one back.
Then two steps, which you also match.
Your hip smacks into the sink’s counter on your fifth step backwards and it’s enough to finally put his hands on you.
He tugs you right into his chest, one hand soothing over where you’d banged your hip.
It’s alarmingly gentle for his stoic features.
When he speaks, you nearly melt into a puddle, the heat of him invading your space, face inching close to your own, enough to have you questioning the sanctity of your parents en suite.
“What’s going on with you, huh?”
“Could ask you the same thing, officer,” you make the fatal mistake of giggling, but you’ll blame it on the fruity cider you’d helped yourself to.
He clearly finds no humour, not even as you fiddle with the top button of his shirt and shoot him your best look of innocence.
“Think you’re real fucking funny, don’t you?” His hand, warm and imposing, grips a hold of your face.
It’s almost painful, but you like it, squirming a little at the blunt stab of his nails and the way he smooshes your cheeks, forcing a pout onto your lips.
You try shake your head, his grip won’t let you.
“Sitting in a room full of men, making yourself the centre of attention,” he huffs a breath out of his nose, and you can’t help but compare him to an angry dragon.
He’s worked up, frustrated, angry.
And it’s hot. A turn-on.
“What’s the matter, Javi? Jealous you’re not the centre of all those men’s attention?” You’re poking the dragon, teasing him, and it’s an act that may leave you burned and scarred.
Or, as you’re hoping, it’ll win you the ride of a lifetime.
He doesn’t even grace you with a verbal response.
No, he scoffs, as though he’s in physical disbelief at the words you’re saying.
Spins you around, pins you to the sink’s counter, tugs your hair till you’re forced to stare at your reflection.
He’s right behind you, seething in anger, fire in his eyes.
His head dips between you neck and shoulder, brushing his lips against your pulse point.
“Not all of us are attention whores like you,” it’s fleeting, and he’ll deny it if you dare mention it, but he smiles.
Just a second, but you feel it, see it even though he tries so hard to turn his face into your neck.
It’s what lets you know he’s playing, teasing, egging you on to push him over the edge.
“I’ve been with real whores, corazón,” he confesses a sin you already know, eaves-dropping one too many times on your dad fishing stories of Colombia out of him. “Fucked them so often they started doing their nails in colours they knew I wanted to see wrapped around my cock.”
Involuntarily, your back arches, brushing your ass against him and providing him the perfect access to wind his hand up between your heaving breasts, all the way up till his fingers curl round the base of your throat.
In the mirror, the image is one of ownership, of Javi seizing your bodily autonomy. A whore and her gentleman caller.
It’s arousing to think about, Javi and his whores.
You wonder what positions he put them in.
How many rounds he lasted with them.
How often he made them cum.
“And not one of them took half the money you’ve taken from me tonight.”
Oh.
So that’s what this is, his pretty ego, bruised at the hands of you?
Poor Mr. Javier Peña, humiliated in front of all his peers round after round, hundred bill after hundred bill.
You almost taunt him for giving into the temptations of the fragile male ego, but you’re stopped in your tracks.
By him, hands squeezing at you a little tighter as he grinds the unmistakable outline of his hardened cock against you.
That single action changes the game, entirely.
Because this isn’t about you stealing his money and his ego.
No, this is something far filthier, that has your panties growing wetter beneath the skirt of your dress.
“I’m worth every dime though, aren’t I, officer?.”
The grip tightens.
He shoves you harder into the counter, so hard a tub of your mother’s moisturiser topples off.
The hard outline of him is still there, ever-present.
“‘S that what you like, huh, taking my money? Wanna be Javi’s personal little whore?”
Every ounce of feminism evaporates within you.
Who could deny such a tentative offer?
Certainly not you, reflection mimicking the way you eagerly nod, teeth biting down on your bottom lip in a failed attempt to hold back a grin.
Javi notices- of course he notices- and takes his victory, hips rocking even deeper into you.
There’s too many layers between you, a feat on which you both agree, yet neither of you do anything about.
You just savour the friction, instead, pushing and pulling one another to the axis of pleasure.
Your panties, soaked.
His jeans, tight.
“What’s it gonna cost me to get you bent over and stuffed full of my cum, corazón?” One hand leaves your body. The mirror snitches on him, exposing how he’s reaching into his back pocket. “This?”
He smacks something down, into the bowl of the sink.
It’s his wallet, and you watch the worn leather of it shine with the residue of water on the linoleum.
The hand at your throat pulses a squeeze, his knee nudges you from behind.
“C’mon, don’t be shy.”
His mouth, right by your ear, lips tickling you with the subtlest of brushes against it.
His hand guides your own, down into the sink, flipping the wallet open and putting it’s belongings on display.
Bills, some placed neatly, others stuffed in forcefully, edges spilling out the pockets. There’s less in there than when he arrived, courtesy of you.
There’s a few miscellaneous cards. A library card, an ID slip you’re sure he uses for something in the sheriff's station, a loyalty card to some record store.
The picture of his mother sits centre stage, radiant smile and loving eyes grabbing the attention of any who dare open it.
He has his mother’s eyes, you notice.
And then you notice something else, peeking out from behind his mother’s picture.
You dive into temptation, dart your nosy fingers over to tug at the object, till you realise it’s another picture.
A picture of Javi, and you.
Taken on a polaroid you found under a box of his belongings, you remember the day clear as ever.
The two of you had messed around, captured your sins on film with the promise of destroying it after. It would be too risky a thing, to allow image evidence of the intimate ways in which you knew each other’s bodies.
Javi’s fingers on your skin, your nipple in his mouth, his cock’s outline bulging within your lower abdomen.
There was no point risking your father ever finding it.
But this picture, this one you do not remember.
Fully dressed, eyes fixed on his television, your head lays in his laps while his fingers card through your hair.
It’s captured from above, as if Javi’s own eyes had made a permanent record of his view.
The sweetness of this living on, of Javi taking something sacred for himself to keep hidden in his wallet distracts you for a moment.
He does good to bring you back into the room.
“Take how much you think you’re worth, corazón,” whispered into your ear, as he rips a few of the notes out his wallet.
They sit in the sink, growing wet.
And you are too, frozen on the spot.
You glance down, count over the different bills.
Five dollars.
Twenty dollars.
Hundred dollars.
With each bill you count, your internal price shooting up within your head, you try picture his reaction.
In the mirror, he’s watching.
Not the sink bowl, no.
You, your face, looking at your expressions in a way that reminds you it’s his job to read people.
You decide to be bold, dig into his wallet and, even though your insides twist in anxious turmoil, hold up your hand to present him with your answer.
Resting neatly, between your fore and middle finger, a shiny credit card.
The gleam in Javi’s eyes just about match it, blackened and blown out with lust.
The card is plucked out your hand.
The hand on your neck leaves, in search of your waist.
The fabric of your dress bunches, wrinkling and creasing as his fabric-straining grip inches it’s hem higher and higher.
You feel sexy like this, face heated and breathing heavy.
It’s an effect he has on you, has had on you, forcing you to look at yourself in new lights, in new angles, admiring every out-of-line trace of you for what you are.
Desirable.
And attractive.
And pretty.
And smart.
And every other word under the sun that Javi whispers into your skin with innocence as his body commits sins within you.
At the bottom of the mirror, you watch as the white cotton of your panties comes into view.
Wet, as you both expected, the thin fabric now turned almost sheer, exposing the delectable view of your cunt hugged cutely by the cotton’s tight seams.
Javi hisses, muttering something to himself.
There’s a strain to his voice, one that would have you worried he’s in pain if it weren’t for the way you’re watching as his face contorts with lust.
His eyes are dark and you study them like he studies his card, contemplating something.
A few seconds pass. 
Tension is puffed out his chest with one exhale, through the nose.
You feel the air tickle your skin.
He nods curtly, to himself, and flickers his gaze back to meet your own in the mirror.
It’s unwavering, even as he brings the black plastic down and smacks it against your mound.
You squeal, he hushes, and you both know he doesn’t mean it at all.
He likes when you gift him noise, a private aria only he has tickets to.
Just as easily as the first time, he snaps the card against you again, a jolt of pleasure shooting straight through your clit.
Just as loudly as the first time, you squeal, a jolt back into his warm, steady, hard embrace.
“What’re you running from, hmm?” His face turns, burrowing itself in the tresses of your hair.
A shallow sniff, and you wonder if he notices the smell of his shampoo on you.
There’s a pressing of lips, against your scalp, and it’s far too gentle of a juxtapose to the imagery of his fingers pulling your panties to the side, exposing your pussy to the bathroom’s cold air and the two pairs of hungry eyes in the mirror.
“You say that this is what you’re worth, and then you don’t want to take it?”
The third spank of the card against your bundle of nerves is harder, louder, echos in the confined space. A moan, minuscule and muffled, slips past tightly shut lips, a look of fear flashing through wide eyes.
Javi’s quick with his reassurance, gentle with his comfort, a hand stroking over your collarbone.
“Don’t worry, no one’s gonna hear you. You just be as loud as you need, hermosa, they’re too busy encouraging that boy-cop to ask you to dinner.”
There’s a tint of jealousy to the way he says boy, and you’re reminded of the image of him in the kitchen doorway.
Smack!
The card strikes down, once more, this time eliciting an open-mouthed gasp. 
He doesn’t let up, repeating the action twice more.
It hurts, in a way that makes your core throb and your toes curl, squirming aimlessly in a grasp he knows you don’t truly want to escape.
But he mocks you, with a hushing noise in your ear and gentle it’s okay, corazón, Javi’s got yous against your neck. His thumb swipes through your folds, coating it in your wetness and dragging itself up to your clit, soaking it in soothing rubs.
His gentle nature lasts mere seconds, his wrist flicking back only to smack the credit card down again. This time, it’s a pattern of three, repeatedly crashing down on your sensitive nerves one after the other.
In the mirror, you watch him observe as he twiddles the card between deft fingers, contemplation on his mind.
The room’s quiet, apart from your shortened breaths and his deep inhales.
You hear a cheer.
From the basement.
It must have been a loud cheer, for you to hear them all the way up here.
And, suddenly, the stakes feel higher than when you were sat at the poker table, counting Javi’s coins with every passing round.
If you can hear them, they could hear you.
This doesn’t seem to cross Javier’s mind, who merely twists your head away from the bathroom door and back to the mirror, to where his hungry eyes await.
All contemplation is gone, he’s decided in what he’s going to do, and so you watch as he takes the card and swipes it through your cunt.
It’s not a pleasurable act, in itself.
In fact, it’s rather uncomfortable, the solid plastic hard on your delicate skin.
It’s the arousal of him doing it that gets you weak in the knees, to have him perform such a mundane act- the swiping of his credit card- in such a crass, dirty, wrong way.
Like he’s paying for you, committing a physical transaction in exchange for your body.
It doesn’t matter that he could have you for free, has had you for free.
He wants to pay, wants to reward you in a way that aligns with the capitalistic world.
“Javi…” You whimper, softly, head lulling back against his shoulder as he swipes the card again.
Your eyes, slowly slipping shut, shoot right back open as you feel the rounded corner of the card prod at your opening, as if trying to notch itself within you.
“Think she could take it, corazón?” Javi bites at your ear, teeth clamping down and pulling at it’s lobe. The card sinks in, not even an inch. You nudge back into, your cry circling the room around you both. “I know, baby, I know. It’d be a wide stretch, but ain’t that all pretty whores like you are good for, hmm?”
It’s automatic, the way you bend to his every whim, head nodding without direct orders from your brain, every part of you, conscious or not, ready and willing to prove you could fit his card inside of you.
For him, you can do it.
“Fitting big things in your little pussies?”
Surprisingly, the hand between your thighs retracts and you watch as he brings the card up to your mouth, glistening with your arousal.
“Open,” the directions are unnecessary, your mouth already dropping open for him in an act of muscle memory.
He hums approvingly, yet his eyes are still fury filled as he slots the card between your lips, lathering your tongue in your own taste. 
“You’ll take anything I give you, won’t you, corazón?”
The statement rings true, both ways: as much as you’ll take anything, he’ll give anything.
You don’t tell him that, though, finding it much easier to rest your palms on the countertop, backing your sopping core into him, enticing him with the wiggle of your hips and whines from your lips to take you already.
“Shh, shh, don’t you worry that pretty head. Javi’s gonna feed this greedy little cunt, ok?”
The unbuckling of a belt.
The unzipping of teeth.
The shucking down of-
Something smashes, in the basement, and it’s enough to have you flinching.
Javi’s touch soothes you, a hand running over the curve of your shoulder as he presses yet another kiss into your neck.
“S’okay, probably just a beer bottle.”
He doesn’t move another inch, not till he sees you nod, melting back into him.
You hear, more than you see, the way he tugs his trousers down, just enough to free his hardened cock from its jean-clad confine. The risky business of a quickie in your parents’ en suite calls for clothing moved aside, and not removed.
Much to your annoyance, his all-encompassing warmth drifts away as he moves back, hands clamping down on your hips. 
He tilts them to the angle he wants, the angle he knows gets him brushing all your sweet-spots.
He tugs the skirt of your dress up, and then readjusts your soiled underwear.
You hear him draw a deep breath and watch his eyes in the mirror, glued to that spot between your legs, entranced.
The drag of his cock over your folds is familiar, the way he smacks the head of it against your clit is welcomed.
He spears you no gentle coaxing, no stretching around his fingers first, coming undone just for him to fill you right back up, this time with his cock.
No, this is a vengeful touch, the kind that’s meant to display his irritation, his fury, for reasons you’ve yet to confirm yet you’re more than willing to accept.
A man like him, so unfairly selfless, taking something in this world for himself, how he wants to and how he likes to.
You’ll be his vice, so long as he grants you his virtues.
Javi fills you with a single thrust, grunting low into your ear as you feel the way the air is physically knocked out both for your lungs.
He’s still, head buried in the crook of your neck as he works on steadying his breathing, giving you time to adjust to the delicious stretch.
You whine out some version of his name, feel yourself pulse around him.
A hand, reaching up to cup your cheek.
A kiss, gentle and longing against your mouth.
He’s making you wait for it, you think, torturing you with an impending paradise.
He’s savouring the feel of you, he thinks, taking advantage of the few moments alone he wins with you.
"Javi,” he barely lets you part from him to speak, chasing a trail of kisses down your jaw. “This isn’t the time to develop patience.”
The snide remark earns you a bite, his teeth nibbling on the sensitive skin of your earlobe. You squeal, try remind yourself to be quiet, only to squeal louder when his hands tickle at your waist.
“I’m a very patient man, corazón.”
You scoff.
“Just not when it comes to you.”
His hips roll back, slowly, but it’s better than nothing, better than when he wasn’t moving at all.
Still, he makes you squirm a little longer, moan his name a little louder.
Only then does his fake resolve snap and he’s fucking into you at a brain melting pace in the blink of an eye.
Javier does his best to keep quiet, at first, biting down on his lip and your neck just to contain all those melodies he usually makes.
You can’t say the same for yourself as, despite your efforts, broken moan after broken moan tumbles out your mouth and into the sink, filling and filling and filling it in sync with how Javi your cunt.
You wonder how long till it all spills over the edge.
“Joder (Fuck),” he groans as you unconsciously squeeze him tighter, pulling him deeper into your walls. serves him right, for the teasing and the torturing. “Tienes el coño más lindo en todo el mundo. (You have the prettiest cunt in the whole world.)”
You feel lightheaded.
Warm, sweaty, covered in the fingerprints of a lover you shouldn’t be with.
The bathroom fills with an array of sounds. The slapping of skin against skin, the broken cries of an agent’s name, the mindless rambling of a man drunk on pleasure.
“So good to me, baby. Always so fucking good to me.”
“Gonna stay here forever, fuck. That sound good to you, corazón, hmm? Full of my cock always?”
“Look at yourself… Pura belleza (Pure beauty).”
He consumes you, mind, body and soul.
There’s no worrying about the happenings around the poker table, no listening out for your father’s car pulling in the driveway, no worrying about your tousled hair or sweating skin.
There’s just Javi.
Beautiful, gorgeous, deserving Javi.
“Please, please, Javi-“ The words all melt together, pleads becoming his name, his name becoming pleads.
You’re not sure what you’re begging for.
It’s okay though, Javi always knows what you need.
“I know, amor (love), I know,” he murmurs into your skin, butterfly kisses so gentle you wonder how they come from the same man that’s pistoning his hips into you like it’s the last chance he’ll ever get. “Let go, c’mon. Show me how much you love this cock, how much you love-”
He’s cut off by his own groan, you cunt fluttering around him as you inch closer and closer to the edge of euphoria.
Hands hurry off your waist, slipping between your thighs. 
It brings a welcomed cushioning, shielding you from repeatedly bumping against the marble of the countertop.
Your legs part further, eagerly, an easy pathway for his yearning fingers to seek out the wonders of the female body as they brush over your clit.
The gentle tactile that he strokes over your bundle of nerves, partnered with the repeated brushing of his cock against that spot that makes you weak in the knees, drool out your mouth, it’s becoming too much.
Eyes glancing in the mirror, you wonder if yours is the same image of the whores who’d warmed his Colombian nights: sweat soaked skin, hooded eyes, messed up hair, wrinkled clothing.
He tilts your hips, a deeper angle to fuck into you that has you perching up onto the tips of your toes, fighting with the chance of losing balance.
He’d catch you, if you fell.
Wrap you up in an embrace that’s more familiar than your own.
“I’m gonna- Fuck! Corazón, need you to cum. Now, please. Please. Need to feel you-”
He’s babbling, losing composure and revealing the side of him you pray he never showed those other women: the side that needs, the side that longs, the side that begs to see you cum before he allows himself to, before he’s able to.
“Javi,” it’s a struggle to speak, but you endure, fighting off your orgasm and holding back tears. There’s something you need from him too. “Cum with me. Wanna be full of you, all of you-”
“¿Sí? (Yeah?)” He pleads back, thrusts already getting a little sloppier, hands a little shakier in the way they touch you. Much like his poker face, you know how to read the face he wears moments before he falls apart. “¿Eso es lo que quiere mi corazón? (Is that what my sweetheart wants?) Want me to cum in you, hm?”
“Yes, oh god yes! So bad, Javi, I want it so bad!”
“Ay, bebesita, no llores. (Aw, baby girl, don't cry.)” He coos, a condescending lilt to his words that has you falling into a bigger mess. “Shh, don’t worry, baby. Gonna fill you right up, so my cum’s dripping down your thighs when that poor kid asks you for your number. Thinks he’s got a shot with you cause he made you laugh, poor boy wouldn’t know how to deal with all the noises I get out of you.”
Javi divulges into a spine-tingling rant of burning hot jealousy, the kind that leaves your cheeks burning and your heart scorching, lit under a flame of your desire for more of him. To have him, equal parts physical and emotional.
You try warn him of the bubble that’s about to burst, the feeling in your loins building and building till it’s seconds way from toppling over. 
“That’s it, baby, squeeze my cock. Lemme feel it,” He urges, heart pounding out his chest against your back, hands tightening their grip on your hips. “Need to feel you cum, ‘s all I want.”
You both crash and burn, together.
You fall first, a chaos of unfinished words, crying out for Javi.
He follows close behind, body pressed against your own like he’s willing you to fuse together, to become to entangled in one another that all possibilities of separation become void.
“Take it, cora-” He’s in your ears, in your head, in your heart. Inside of you, consuming you, as eagerly as he’s willing to be consumed by you, fingerprints on hips and teeth-marks in necks. “Take it, take it, take it.”
Arms envelop you from behind, crossing over your chest to pin you back against him.
He’s nearly stagnant, nothing but the twitch of his cock and the shallow thrusts he fucks you deeper with, filling you with another, another, another pump of his cum.
“So good,” Javi’s voice persists, teeth gritting as he bites back the need to be loud, to be heard, to lay a claim on you so blatant no one could deny hearing it. Your relationship with your father is the only thing that holds him back. “Good to me, baby. Always… Good… Díos. (God.)”
Craning your neck to the side, you manage to pull him in for a kiss.
It’s something he accepts easily, lips parting and melting into a dance against your own.
One of his hands falls over your jaw, twisting your face even closer to him.
The kiss dies slowly, with each of you refusing to truly part, pecks being splattered messily against the other’s mouth.
“Was I,” Javi interrupts you with another kiss, his free hand smoothing up and down your side, his hips still slowly rocking into yours, a delicious sting of overstimulation biting at your core. “Am I worth it?”
He pulls back, tired gaze warm as it takes in your messed features.
With the smile that stretches over his lips, however, one would think you were the prettiest creature in all the world.
He calls your name, calmly, slowly, like he’s trying to memorise the shape of it on his tongue. “You’re worth everything I could give, and more.”
There’s something behind the ways he says it that makes you believe him.
With little will to do so, you peel apart from each other, his hands moving quick to adjust your underwear as his cum starts to leak out onto your folds.
He exits the bathroom first, a final kiss placed on your cheek before your left alone, forced to confront the wrecked version of you that will never see your parent’s en suite in the same light.
Your dad arrives back just in time to see you slipping back down to sit at the poker table, no seat left for him to take but the one between his sweet daughter and his loyal best friend.
If only he knew he was placing you both where you most wanted to be when he suggested Javi give you a ride home, waving you both off through the car window with no idea Javi's cum sat dripping out your cunt, staining the car seat.
Your phone buzzes to life in your hand, slipping you out of your memories.
Your father’s contact name reads clearly on the screen.
Hitting decline one more time, you roll over and try ignore the gathering slick between your thighs.
Damn Javi and all the memories he haunts you with.
Mr, I don’t want a label You made me a little miss unstable (And it)
Days grow colder.
Nights grow longer.
You change your bedsheets, stuff a comforter back inside.
Pick out a tree, synthetic, and lump the box up the countless stairs to your apartment.
Try not to think of how he would’ve insisted on helping, refused to let you carry it.
Even if it culminated in him doubled over in pain, clutching his lower back.
Lights, baubles, action.
The tree’s smaller than you expect, barely reaching your hip, but it’s green, tree-shaped and festive. It’s enough.
Your decorations are minimal, a few inconsequential things you picked out your parents’ stash. There’s a Santa hat, frayed with time. A few cracked baubles, with string so thin you suspect they’ll snap off. A gingerbread man ornament, a glass snow-flake. A crooked star, missing one of its points, tops the tree.
A homemade snowman, one you’d gifted your parents after a busy day in nursery. Neither of them had the heart to tell you you’d made its nose a rather phallic shape.
And then there's the red phone-box, nestled somewhere in the middle, an etching of LONDON brandishing it as a reminder of your trip.
You’d picked it up in a tiny bookstore, right next door to The Distillery Club.
The winter season has never felt so lonesome, tucked away in your grown-up apartment. 
There’s no fireplace to warm your hands, no hot cocoa boiling on the stove. No cheesy hallmark movies to laugh at with your mother, no racing past your father to grab the last slice of dessert.
It’s just you, alone, with only your wandering mind as company.
Sometimes, more often than not, it wanders to him. To if he’s alone.
To if he’s filling his heart as easily as he fills his bed.
To if he’s finally bought a second seat for his dingy balcony.
“Is this some tactic of yours?”
He hums, brows furrowing, lips pouting, smoke dragging into his lungs.
The cigarette sits perched between two fingers of the hand resting on your knee, his other curled around your waist.
“Some what?”
“Tactic,” you repeat. Watch him blow a puff a smoke, taste his ash at the back of your throat. “Only having one chair, so pretty girls have no choice but to sit in your lap.”
He lets his gaze wander away from the streets below and up to you, sitting pretty in his lap. Like a cat, draped over his thighs.
Nothing but his own rumpled, inside-out shirt to cover your skin.
Bare legs, messed hair, smudged lipstick.
Fingerprint bruises littering your hips, bitemarks etched into your collarbone.
“I gave you a choice,” he speaks with a reservation he didn’t have before, when he’d offered you a ride home from the bar. There’s an etching of something that’s diluting his expressions, sinking him deeper and deeper into his own pensive mind. “You were the one who insisted on sitting on me.”
“You weren’t complaining earlier.”
Nails pinch at your thigh, causing a squeal out of you.
A few birds fly off a nearby wire, a head or two turn in the street below.
They don’t see you, or Javi, or the lack of clothing that sits between you.
“Neither were you. In fact, you were a little busy fucking my fac-”
“Stop!” Your sudden modesty feels unearned, yet that does nothing to stop you from placing your hand over his mouth.
He licks at it, you grimace, he licks again.
Then takes another breath of nicotine, as you wipe the remnants of his spit onto his naked thigh.
When he offers the cigarette your way, you hesitate.
Picture your father, disappointed to see you smoke.
The whiff of Javi’s post-sex smell- muted cologne, matted sweat, burnt ash- steals your senses, reminds you you’ve already done enough to disappoint your father, a cigarette can’t do much damage.
So you let him hold it up to your mouth and inhale it’s poison.
You and Javi were never meant to happen.
Sure, the line had already been crossed weeks ago.
But that was supposed to stay in Vermont, tucked between snowy slopes and wooden cabins. Existing in a timeline separate from your reality, where you are your father’s precious daughter and Javi is his trustworthy colleague and friend, that is where it should have stayed.
And it had, for two weeks. Sixteen days, specifically. 
You’d returned to classes, to sharing lunch breaks with your father in his office, to slowly moving more of your things out the family home and into your new apartment.
And Javi, from what you heard, had returned to keeping civilians safe, to sharing a drink or two with your father at the end of the work week, to flirting with every secretary within a mile radius.
Neither of your crossed paths and, when you nearly did, the other made the effort to turn a corner, shut a door, hide behind a wall.
Until tonight.
Until you ditched your mediocre date, some lame excuse of having a last-minute paper due.
Until you’d gone to console yourself over your failing love life, unknowingly sliding into a bar stool right next to the most desired cop in town.
Until he’d turned to you, tilted his head, and asked “d’you wanna get out of here?”
He’d offered to take you home.
The drive was quiet, tense, until his hand drifted over the gearstick and you dragged it down onto your thigh.
He squeezed.
You inched it further up, till the tips of his fingers brushed at the edge of your dress.
He took the invitation, took a turning towards his own place.
Brought you into his apartment, drowned you in his fountain of kisses, begged you to sit upon his face. He’d made you see stars beneath a roofed sky, eyes rolling so far back they threatened to get stuck there.
With barely a moments recovery from a third blinding orgasm, he dragged you down the expanse of his body, sat you down on his cock and refused to help your overstimulated, puddle-brained self ride him, grinning cunningly with his back pressed against the mattress as you struggled through shaky legs.
Eventually, he tired and launched himself, arms tangling behind your back, feet planted flat behind you, hips fucking up into your battered cunt until you both came to a haltering crescendo.
He’d layed you down to rest, cleaned you of any mess, and then wandered out to his balcony, inviting you to join him when the feeling returned to your legs.
Which brings you here, fifteen minutes later.
“...wouldn’t have to be serious,” he’s speaking, finishing off a sentence you don’t quite catch the start of.
“Huh?”
“This. Us. It could be casual, y’know?” Another puff of smoke slips right through his lips. “If that’s what you’re worrying about… your dad, and all that other stuff. I don’t need a label, not if it means I get to have… We could keep it casual, if that’s what you want.”
It takes a few moments for you to fully register his words, and then a few more to formulate a response.
“Is that what you want?”
He shrugs.
Pulls in another breath of his cigarette.
Stubs it out on the arm of the chair.
And says nothing.
You assume it’s a yes.
Because what else could Javier Peña, notorious womaniser, want with you if not a casual, no-strings-attached permit to sleep with you, as many times as he sees fit, without the risk of losing his job or, worse, his best friend?
Silence falls upon you both.
You twist in his lap.
He tightens his hold.
Within a half’s hour, he’s got your hands white knuckling as they grip the metal bannister of his balcony, his own hands busy pulling your hips back to meet each of his desperate thrusts, not even the cool air of the night enough to soothe the flaming desire that burns between you.
Your stomach twists, your mouth dries, your eyes water at the thought of him out on that balcony now.
Somebody else, some new body sat in your spot, upon his lap as they exchange smoke rings and warm mouths.
Broke me big time It’s funny and I’m laughing baby You think i’m alright
The Laredo sheriff’s department is known best for three things: its lack of parking, its swoon-worthy ex-DEA agent, and its office holiday parties.
Each year, it’s the same.
The station, decked out in decorations.
A Christmas wreath, mistletoe hanging from every doorway, egg-nog and mulled wine.
It’s not just Christmas.
It’s menorahs, and ficus trees, and a statues of different gods.
Each piece of culture, tradition, holiday that makes up the people that inhabit the station, day in and day out, behind desks and in cop cars, filing paperwork and fetching coffees, represented in some way, celebrated.
Each member of staff is encouraged to bring their friends, their family.
Their spouse, their mothers.
Anyone, and everyone, is welcome.
Then there’s the gift exchange, a Secret Santa system, optional for each member of staff.
It’s the part you look forward to most.
Crowding your dad the minute he gets home on the first of December, poking and prodding till he lets it spill who he’s got.
Fishing out a pen, some paper.
Drawing up a list, made of details and anecdotes your father remembers of his target.
Dragging your shop-avoidant father down to the mall, for a day of gift hunting and sweet-tooth indulging.
Getting to watch your father’s coworker open their gift, eyes lighting up as you once again knock the ball out the park and gift them something perfectly tailored to them, winning your dad the spot of top gift-giver year after year.
This year, there was none of that.
No list of pros and cons for each gift option.
No trying to crack just what exactly your dad should gift his person.
No waiting with baited breath to watch them open it, heart racing with that little fear of them not liking it, of you failing.
No, the moment that name fell from your father’s mouth, you knew what he needed to get.
Hinted at it, slightly.
Claimed you’d smelt it on a friend, thought it would be a good idea.
Sipping on some wine and picking at the buffet, you watch him pick up his gift.
Hold it up to his ear, shake it.
Look down at the box, confused, then tear into the wrapping paper.
The whole room stops.
Not really, but it feels like it does, as somewhere across the room Javier Peña holds up a bottle of that damn cologne.
And, when his eyes instinctively find yours, it feels like everything else fades away.
Fades to grey.
It’s just him, and you. The only two within the room, holding a secret too heavy on the tongue to ever speak it aloud.
He knows.
Of course he knows.
Knows you’d watched him spray it on his skin, day in, and day out.
Knows you’d worn it on your own, sunk it deep into your pores after intertwining your souls upon wrinkled sheets.
Knows you’d watch its contents decrease over time, time you’d spent with him.
That bottle of cologne reminiscent of a timer on you both, that morning before the hospital trip becoming the last few sprays he got out of it.
Colour returns to the world that surrounds you as your dad steps into view.
He’s hugging Javi, pathetically tipsy and ignorant to the lipstick stain on his cheek, no doubt ingrained to his skin with how hell-bent he is on having your mother kiss him beneath each mistletoe.
They’re exchanging words you don’t hear, slapping one another on the back.
You turn on your heel, insides twisting as nausea overcomes you at the scene.
The next time you see Javi is hours later.
You’re trying to leave, tempted to take the good old Irish exit and just slip out a back door.
But your parents- ne, your father- are so busy show-ponying you around the room, that you fail to take a single step that goes unnoticed.
“There she is!” Your father calls out, somewhere behind you, as you slip your hand into the arm of your coat. This act sparks outrage, a frown birthing onto his face. “Don’t tell me you’re leaving too.”
You say you’re tired.
He boos, loudly, like he’s not the chief of police and a whole grown adult.
Grabs at you, lovingly, trying to pry the coat out of your hands.
The effort is minimum, and you know he’s only messing around.
You can leave, if you want to, even if he’d rather you stay.
“It’s not even midnight and you two buzzkills are leaving!” He wails, all the while he’s reaching around and helping you slip your other arm into the coat.
That’s when Javi’s face comes into view, over the arch of your dad’s shoulder, sporting a smile and a pair of keys dangling off one finger.
You try your best to counter his smile with your own, though your throat feels dry and your cheeks feel tight.
“I can’t believe I’m being betrayed like this by two of my favourite people!” The smile slips before you can catch it, eyes widening at your father’s words.
Words you’d spent months agonising over the thought of hearing. Picturing the circumstances in which he’d find out. Imagining the horrendous fallout, a red slash over Javier’s reputation. Swearing you’d quit it, quit him, and then winding up tangled in his sheets again, head pressed to his chest, eyes closed in the soundest of sleeps.
Javi plays it cool.
Nudges your dad’s shoulder, shakes his head and tells him to “quit the dramatics, viejo (old man).”
“I gotta head out to my pop’s first thing in the morning, he’s wanting me to help him rewire some of the fences.” Comes out as his excuse, one your dad can’t really argue against.
He knows better than anyone that Javi drops everything for his dad.
Well, better than anyone but you.
Your excuse, however, falls a little short, a consequence of the last minute conjuring of the lie.
“I’ve, uh, got an early class. Don’t wanna flunk out in my last year, right?”
Your dad stares at you.
Your mum stares at you.
Javi stares at you.
And that’s how you know you’re screwed.
“Class? I thought you were on winter break.”
Javi takes the momentary distraction to shrug his coat on, over those broad shoulders.
Shoulders that twist with the rest of him, as he makes space for you in the doorway, nodding you over. Here, he’s saying without really speaking, escape with me.
So you do, tiptoeing past your parents as though, the slower and quieter you move, the less they’ll notice your approach to the exit.
“Oh! Yeah, I- Sorry, I meant that I-”
“The library, it’s still open for the graduate students,” Javi swoops in effortlessly, dragging the spotlight off you.
He takes hold of your jacket, too, slipping the zip into place and dragging it up the length of your torso, over your chest, till it rests snuggly at your sternum.
A little too snug, making each new inhale deeper, harder, practically heaving the air into your lungs.
At least that’s the reason you give yourself.
You don’t get to dwell on it too long, fortunately, for your mother lets out a gasp.
She points, eyes a little widened by excitement, at the both of you and nudges at your father.
“Look!” She tells him, and you watch in confusion as he displays her same reaction, eyes wide and mouth agape.
Then comes the laughter, straight out the depths of your dad’s belly and right to your weak heart, a melody that reminds you so much of easy Sundays and curling up next to him on the sofa, watching kids’ shows that seemed to entertain him more than you.
“Oh that’s just,” he takes a laugh break, doubling over slightly, his own finger joined in pointing at you two, beneath the doorway. “Too perfect!”
Before you can inquire on either of your parents bizarre reactions, Javi’s eyes are staring into your own and pointing upwards.
Wrapped with a red bow and barely hanging onto the door frame with a single strip of tape, a mistletoe stares down at you, two white berries like mini eyes.
When you glance at the agent once more, it’s hard to read what he’s thinking.
His shoulders are tense, his lips are pursed, his brows are furrowed. But, his eyes.
His eyes burn you with an unspoken intensity, a look he should never possess in front of your parents.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” You mom, camera in hand, urges you both, a wide grin cast upon her face.
You dad is in no better state, rushing forward to squeeze you both closer, one hand clasped over the back of Javi’s head.
When the once-agent exhales a nerve-striken breath, the warmth of it, of him, hits your neck.
“Dad, c’mon, stop-” you’ve never imagined yourself stuck like this, your mother and father both urging you to kiss a man you spent months tossing and turning in bedsheets with behind their back.
The creatively deviant part of your brain tells you this is how it could be, maybe, in some other life.
Some other life, where Javi’s not a cop, you’re new in town, and you both bump into each other at the grocery store.
Both of you reaching out for the same apple, or box of cereal, or bottle of milk.
Your hands, brushing.
Your eyes, meeting.
He’d charm you, easily as he always has.
Get your number and then, the next day, a date.
One date leading to two, three, four, more dates.
Till you bring him home to meet your parents at last, squeezing his hand tighter when he tries to pry it away as the door opens to your father’s stern face.
It would take a while, you reckon, for your dad to see past the difference in years.
Your mother wouldn’t care, wouldn’t spare a second thought to it, not when she notices how much he makes you laugh and how he can’t keep his eyes off of you in any room you occupy.
This could be your first Christmas together, your parents begging for one sweet photo of you under the mistletoe, before you both head off to spend the rest of the holiday season with Javi’s father.
But it isn’t, and you’re not.
“C’mon, it’s bad luck not to!” Back in the present, in reality, your dad’s found his way over to your mother’s side. “Peña, just kiss the girl on the cheek for Christ sake, I ain’t gonna bite your head off for it this one time!”
His lips brush your cheek like an autumn breeze.
Gentle, a hint of warmth, a tickle from the wisps of his well-groomed moustache.
“Get a bit closer, you’re not fully in frame!”
The flash goes off on your mother’s camera, and the two give a little cheer, and Javi wraps an arm around your back, squeezing you a little closer.
When all is said and done, your mother’s forcing you both to stare at the camera screen, a perfect picture of the most doomed couple to ever grace this Earth.
Such dramatics in your thoughts reminds you of the copious glasses of prosecco you’d downed throughout the night, and of your intentions to get yourself home before you done something stupid.
Like stand under the mistletoe with your former casual lover, the very same man your father calls for golf matches and March Madness debriefs.
Javi offers you a ride home, an idea your father approves of.
“I’m heading that way anyway, gotta pick up a few things before I drive out to the ranch.”
A part of you thinks he’s lying, wanting any excuse for a moment alone with you, but then that’s the kind of delusions you shouldn’t be feeding into.
You and Javi don’t spend time alone anymore.
You and Javi do not exist together anymore.
Maybe you never did.
“It’s okay, I already called a cab.”
You part ways at the door, your father watching you from inside.
Javi calls your name, before you can take more than a few steps.
For a second, he just looks at you.
Then his arms are pulling you in, and he’s got you right against his steady chest, and he’s resting his head atop your own, arms squeezing tightly at your sides.
“Get home safe.”
He walks away before you can tell him to do the same, the door slamming to his car the last thing you hear as you pull out your phone and call a cab.
It takes twenty minutes for it to appear, in which the rain starts and your clothes get soaked, but all that and the fifteen dollar fare are a cheaper price to pay than the torture of letting Javier Peña drive you home.
Crawl up the stairs, unlock the apartment door, drop your clothes onto the floor.
You find sanctuary under the shower, soap suds and boiling water, a dynamic duo that scrub off any remnants of his skin against yours.
Even as you step out, fully cleaned and towel wrapped around yourself, you catch a hint of his cologne, the very same one you’d made sure your dad picked out for him.
And as you pick your coat off the ground, a distant voice that sounds much like your mother scolding you for leaving such a mess, you notice it.
First, just a little extra weight.
Then, scratchy paper as your hand dives into the left pocket.
The wrapping is haphazard, with an uneven bow tied atop it, but that’s not what matters.
You tear away at it, let the paper fall to the floor at your feet.
Then you’re met with a small box, which you tear open too. 
And find it sitting neatly among balls of yarn, the prettiest, most delicate looking glass bauble.
It’s ribbon a deep green, and it’s centre an image of mountain slopes, backed by a green forest and a valley full of wooden lodges.
It shakes in your grasp, and you spy the snowglobe-esque white foam that dances around within it.
In it’s centre, in bold, italic and green, Vermont.
One more glance in the box.
There’s a note, tucked at the bottom.
You fish it out in one breath, hold it up to read what it says.
Corazón, For your tree. I hope there’s still space.
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fashion4standusers · 10 months
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FFSU’s Fan Fashion Week!
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*ETA: Works posted to AO3 can be tagged as "FFSU Fashion Week"!*
I’ve had the concept for this in my head for AGES but never got around to posting it. I originally planned to run it as an event during a certain time period, but I found that making it an event intimidated me out of actually making the idea happen. I just think that I’m a lot more confident in my ideas when I don’t overthink it! Therefore, instead of running an event, I’m just putting this challenge out into the atmosphere for people to take it and run with it. 
REBLOGS GREATLY APPRECIATED!
Everything you need to know is in the graphics, and here’s a plain text version as well:
Fashion For Stand Users’ Fan Fashion Week Challenge: a 7-day art and/or fic-writing challenge!
Art Prompts:
- Day 1: Runway
Draw your chosen character(s) in an outfit from a designer runway! Check the blog archive or Vogue Runway for references and modify the look however you want.
-Day 2: Subculture
Draw your chosen character(s) in the fashion of a certain subculture: goth, raver, scene kid, etc.
-Day 3: Style Swap
Draw two or more characters swapping their canon outfits, or simply wearing outfits more suited for the other person's vibe and aesthetic.
-Day 4: Historical
Draw your chosen character(s) in the fashion of another era.
-Day 5: Redesign
Redesign, reinvent, or modify the canon outfit(s) of your chosen character(s). 
-Day 6: Formal
Draw your chosen character(s) in gowns, tuxedos, and other fancy clothes. 
-Day 7: Free Space
Draw any kind of outfit(s) you'd like for your chosen character(s)!
Writing Prompts:
- Day 1: Character Study
Write about why a character dresses or looks the way they do. Why do they like the clothes they wear? Do they wear something with personal significance? How do they want the world to see them?
-Day 2: Makeover
Write about a character getting a makeover from another. Are they getting new clothes, a new hairstyle, new makeup? Is it just for fun or a sign of a bigger change?
-Day 3: AU
Write about an alternate universe where the characters are models, fashion designers, hairstylists, makeup artists, etc.
-Day 4: Disaster
Write about something going horribly, horribly wrong: wardrobe malfunctions, makeup mishaps, over/underdressing, etc.
-Day 5: Shopping Trip
Write about characters going shopping together and all the shenanigans that ensue.
-Day 6: The Event
Write about a character getting ready for  or attending an upscale event. Who are they going with? What are they wearing? How are they feeling?
-Day 7: Free Space
Write about any scenario you'd like, as long as it's about clothing or fashion!
Rules:
Have Fun!
This is obviously a JJBA blog, but feel free to use this challenge for OCs and other fandoms! If you plan to modify the prompts, make different graphics, or make your own version of the challenge for a different fandom, be sure to credit this blog or link back to this post!
Mention @fashion4standusers in all your posts to give credit! You can also tag your posts with #ffsufashionweek, and if your work is about JoJo, I would love to share it on the blog. If you post outside of Tumblr, include a link to this post!
Don't think you can do it in a week? Want more time to write longer fics, make more detailed art, or just develop your idea more? No worries, just work at your own pace! The concept of the challenge is a reference to the various Fashion Weeks that happen around the world, but by no means is it restricted to any real time frame!
Only want to write or draw for a few of the prompts? Maybe only one? Wanna work out of order? Go ahead! This is a challenge of course, but if you just aren't connecting with some of the prompts, don't force it!
Feel free to use the ideas you come up with for this into more in-depth works!
It's never too early or too late to give it a shot, and I'll always keep an eye on tags and mentions for new additions!
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