could I get Dazai x Jessica rabbit male reader? Like reader is taller is feminine and intimidatingly sexy and Dazai endearingly is his “roger rabbit” in this situation, male reader is disinterested in me and woman alike to try to woo him and is polite but firm with he’s not there for you he’s there for someone else. The. Dazai comes strutting in and hangs on male reader’s should with love struck eyes and everyone is like “how the fuck did you end up with him-?” And male reader is like “He makes me laugh”

Dazai Osamu - Jessica Rabbit-Like Male Reader 

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This is ADA Dazai and not PM Dazai since you didn't specify in your ask what time frame you wanted this in. This is my first time writing Dazai so I apologize if I didn't capture his character properly. I also wrote this headcannons in second person for a change, let me know if you like this more than the usual. I hope I did your ask some justice, Anon. —Benny🐰

Warnings -> Suggestive, Mentions of Suicide, Reader will have descriptions that correlate with the character 'Jessica Rabbit'

                                                                                                   

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🎙   When Dazai and [Name] first met, you can imagine what the first thing the bandaged man said to them was, of course, asking to commit double suicide with him. The tall and seductive stranger giggled and declined, thinking the bandaged man was simply making a morbid joke, but he planted a sweet kiss on Dazai's cheek and made his way to down the street and out of the ADA detective's line of sight. The way the taller man's hips swayed as he strutted away had the brunette staring after him with wide eyes, sparkling with interest.

🎙  The two met again and subsequently exchanged contact information as well as planned a date during one of the investigations he was a part of. Something about a murder of a guy that happened in the club that [Name] performed in and the perpetrator being an ability user. After the investigation wrapped up, Osamu made sure to rizz him up and once again coax them into a double suicide, to which they again chuckled at and denied. For the mentioned date, Osamu took them to the movies them out to eat at the Uzumaki Diner before walking them home and being sent off with a kiss.

🎙  Now the two are married; two years going strong. Dazai makes sure to show up to every single performance his husband has at whichever club it happens to be at; often times skipping out on his paper work in order to do so. Dazai does make sure to tell [Name] that he in no way needs to come and see him at the ADA just in case, for their safety. Occasionally though, the seductive club singer does pay the bandaged man a workplace visit; usually dropping him off lunch or just to spend time tigether after being apart for a while.

🎙  Most times [Name]'s visits end up with him sitting sideways on his husband's lap while listening to him talk about his day in an animated fashion. Trailing his index finger up and down Osamu's chest in a slow and sensual way; the natural seductive smile playing on his lips. [Name] smothering the brunette in tons of kisses; leaving prints of his painted lips all over his husband's face and staining the bandages wrapped around his neck. Feeding each other whatever Osamu decided to grab from the vending machine on the other side of the room.

🎙  Speaking of the ADA; those in the agency still can't wrap their heads around how the two got together in the first place. [Name] is a drop dead gorgeous sex symbol of a man who has a flourishing career as a club singer and Dazai is... well himself. Poor Atsushi nearly had a stroke trying to process the two being in a loving and stable relationship. How the bandaged man and his husband interact also seems to leave a few select people feeling painfully single and Dazai absolutely revels in their suffering. The man definitely plays up his interactions with [Name] just to get a rise out of them. When Kunikida asked the tall man just what he saw in his husband he answered that Dazai made him laugh.

🎙  Overall, the two have a very loving and stable relationship. Despite Osamu's want for death, [Name] makes him feel like life may be worth living just a little while longer than he thought. Every night that he spends in his husband's embrace is another night he feels safe, loved and protected from the haunting memories of his past actions and those he's lost. Although... most nights the two of them don't get to sleep until late into the night.~ All Osamu's doing I'm sure, the scoundrel.

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what do you think bsd men would be with a girl who is really hyperfeminine (ex loves sanrio, short skits and stuff) but still loves topping?

It literally does not matter what you like and how you look as long as you click. (Also tell me if you want any specific characters I didn’t mention)

I imagine them not minding it neither way, because you can wear a skirt or pants and still fuck them into oblivion. Though there are some that might get fooled by your appearance. It’s the first impression after all.

Dazai would probably tease you about it from time to time, “when I first saw you, I thought you were such a nice and innocent girl! Who knew you were into such freaky stuff?” He’d joke about it all the time, just to provoke you. Then he’d add, “but I love all woman, even if you are a beast in bed.” And wink at you. Now it’s your choice what you will do to him later, maybe you should punish that cheeky tongue of his.

Atsushi would probably be a bit embarrassed, that he needs a girl to take care of him, especially if you are shorter or look younger than him. You just have to assure him it’s alright to feel this way, and it’s alright to show emotions, cry, whatever. He gets embarrassed easily, or flustered, so it’s almost the same no matter what body Typ. You could be taller than him and hug him from behind, he’d blush already. Or as mentioned be shorter and nuzzle into his chest, and he’ll turn red. Also if you flirt with him, and he does catch on, then it really doesn’t matter if you look very feminine or not, he’d be nervous and fumbling with his thumbs the entire time.

Kunikida, I gotta say, he feels like the traditional reserved type of person, though secretly (unbeknownst to him) also a freak. Probably wrote in his book something about a nice and healthy relationship, a girly girl who is mature and gentle, and vanilla. Maybe someone who works part time so that they could take care of the household? He works full time after all. So consider him surprised when he found out about you, cuz your appearance made him believe you were very.. well, basic. (There is nothing wrong with basic) though to think you’d make him so such humiliating stuff.. you better not leave him now, not after seeing all those sides of him.

Sigma likes people who knows what they want and want to be, who can decide. Because he has a few problems with his identity. That’s why he really admires how you carry yourself, and know what you like. Fashion wise or others. You know what you like and you stand behind it, go for it girl. Also, I think sigma likes the high fashion, like a small hobby he has, so he’d love to go shopping with you and discuss outfit ideas. He probably enjoys a wide range of styles.

Fyodor also thought you would be a total sub, he just guessed. Turns out he guessed completely wrong, his mistake, can he make up by drinking a shot? Anyway, as long as you are useful, he doesn’t really care how you present yourself. The skills are what’s important. But to be honest, at first, he was trying to find a very traditional partner. It’s what he believes in. A good wife who cooks and takes care of the house, and obeys. That’s what he was looking for, if he wanted a relationship in the first place. It’s what’s written in the bible, he wanted to follow it. After spending a night with you, he had to think about it again. It felt too good to give up, and honestly, just because you top or dom doesn’t mean you won’t fulfil the requirements, no? Even if you didn’t, well, he was god’s chosen one he can make a special case just for you.

Nikolai would ask you to dress up as a clown with him. If you refuse, he’ll keep asking. So yea, he doesn’t really care what you like or look, he will make you into clowns and magic shows. It’s a part of getting closer to him, there is no roundabout. (Rip those who have a phobia against clowns, but if you do why would you like Nikolai in the first place) jokes aside, I’m sure he won’t really force you into liking all that. Probably…

Chuuya would find it pretty practical, cuz similar to sigma, you know what you like or who you are so you are easy to read. He doesn’t need to think that long to guess what kind of stuff you’d like, it’s practical. But he’ll still take ages to find the *perfect* present for you. Most of the time he’ll buy more than one, if you don’t like it throw it away. If you are even shorter than him, it’d boost his ego, cuz, yea, short people struggles. Though that ego would be gone after you show him who’s top, and he’d be pouting for a while. He thought he could finally stand over someone! He was taller but somehow he didn’t feel like he actually was! It’s not a negative feeling though, not at all. And you being girly didn’t matter, you look gorgeous anyway. Just say the word and he will silence anyone who thinks otherwise.

。。。 FOUR, NINE, THIRTEEN 。。。

• — { omnipresent. chapter one: }

• — {warnings : mentions of suicide, dark content, no nsfw but things that could be triggering, dazai :P , bad writing, reader curses a lot, maybe some typos, etc. etc.}

• — {special thanks to : silver for helping me write + plan the plot, thank u to red and kat for taking their time to beta read, and thank u to mai for also helping with the plot ! }

• — { tagging the people who expressed interest ! @settingssun | @silverbladexyz @cheriiyaya | @kxttqi | @riiwrites + comment under this post to be tagged ! }

THE FIRST TIME Dazai Osamu met you, it was midnight. he was just walking to a bar and you were on the edge of a bridge railing, dressed in a school uniform. probably from a prestigious high school and not more than 15, he guessed when he took a better look at you. 

it was raining a storm, Rain had soaked through your clothes, and your hair was drenched. Paired with the harsh wind, you must be freezing. 

You were looking down at the river, a rather far away look in your eyes as you were seemingly in a dilemma, weighing two choices and- 

oh. 

dazai had already got the gist of what you were about to do, yet made no motion whatsoever. still and silent as a shadow, even when you took in a sharp breath and stepped off, falling down to the river’s current

a splash and you were gone forever, leaving him alone on the bridge.

now he was blankly staring at where you were mere seconds ago. not caring to even move. rooted at where he was. but several questions ran through his mind at that moment.

did you notice him staring? 

it wasn’t any use thinking about it so he let it go. 

the second time he encountered you, he had heard a series of gunshots then quickly headed to there. you were already dead. shot by someone he couldn’t catch.

Obviously, he was surprised to see your face but quickly collected himself, called the police, and left. finding it suspicious but quickly brushing it off his mind as he had more urgent and important matters to take care of than the measly death of someone he didn’t know. 

the third time he saw you, you were crossing the street. a calico cat in your arms as you talked to it, petting its fur and a warm smile on your face. 

then, you turned your head and caught sight of him, you widened your eyes seemingly in recognition, but you had ran, almost as if you were trying to escape from him.

well, dazai had tried to chase after you. But in your haste, you had failed to look at the road. tires screeched and you got hit by a car. 

he had ran and reached out his hand to try and pull you away despite knowing it was futile. but it was too late. blood splattered on him, staining his hand. Not that he ever cared. 

the cat was unhurt though, somehow miraculously shielded by your body. its large eyes looking into his’s before letting out a small meow then ran away. leaving you on the ground. 

sirens cut through the deathly silence, medics quickly rushing out of an ambulance after a bystander called the police. arriving just a few minutes later.

He tsked, running his hand through his hair, and and slipped away from there, away from that street, never to return.

on the fourth time, he saw you again. now convinced that you were a special case, he had to find you before you were gone. 

but unfortunately, he was too late again. you were a member of an rival organisation, holding important information and so was captured, interrogated, then brutally killed by one of the executive’s ability. crimson red blood pooled around your corpse before he got a chance to talk to you. 

“she already told us what we needed to know already. it’s no use keeping her around.” was what ozaki said when he demanded an explanation. “best to kill them before they cause further trouble. Say, dazai, don’t tell me-?” she frowned, shooting him a small glare. sighing deeply when he shook his head no. 

“I have to say, she was quite pathetic. Immediately telling us everything when we threatened the lives of her subordinates… I overestimated her.” was what she said while walking away slowly disappearing into the darkness, leaving him alone in the dim room. 

it was strange, he had to admit. the fact that you died every time before he got the chance to talk to you was quite eerie. not that he could do anything about it. Then, he left you again, leaving his underlings to clean up the mess. 

it happened nine times more, but instead of seeing you directly, he saw it on the news or heard it from his acquaintances. looking at your picture, you looked different in every universe but you had the same features. just enough to be recognizable. 

…

He was in the agency now, a new member. And amazingly, in record time, he was already doppo kunikida’s worst nightmare. 

today was his third day. how boring was this? 

in short: indescribable.

he felt like a deer caught in a spotlight. Far too out of place. Dazai knew how to put on an act, one to cover his true intentions quite nicely. Not enough to fool edogawa, of course. But enough to fool everyone else. 

he had listened to what odasaku had told him, be someone who saves people. he did or tried, or it would be something that he would do later. Depends, really.

…maybe one of the reasons he decided to follow through with his friend’s words was to make himself feel better. From what though? 

the guilt of not being able to save you? Maybe not stopping you from dying on the first time you met? 

Impossible. he was known as the demon prodigy after all when he was back in the port mafia, famous for being someone who had no remorse for murdering hundreds or committing endless heinous crimes. 

How troublesome. Such emotions were an obstacle to his goals. 

He tried to get rid of it. ignoring the guilt that was eating his heart away helped only a bit. But distractions helped. A few bottles of sake and his guilt would leave him for a while. 

But maybe paired with the fact that he couldn’t help nor save sakunosuke oda only made it worse. 

guilt was annoying. Troublesome, a nuisance. just about anything that was negative, he thinks, leaning back in his seat and ignoring the reports he has to write. 

actually, all emotions were useless. Was what he thought, turning around and around. 

…come to think of it, he never saw you in this universe before. nor even heard of you. 

maybe you don’t even exist right now. 

which is weird. since you seem to pop up randomly in every universe he’s in. 

really, really, reallyyyyyyy suspicious- 

“Ow!” 

A book hit his head, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

“Get to work dazai!” 

ah yes, classic kunikida. Always and forever strict and doesn’t like fun. Why were all math teachers like that? oh. even former ones. all they do is yell, scream, scold, yep math is definitely ruining the minds of everyone.

“Fineeee…these are boring though… I’ll do it later….” he whines, laying his head on his desk, drawing random shapes with his finger on the light brown wooden table. 

“Just do your work already!” Kunikida yelled, clearly at his breaking point.

“Come onnnn kunikidaaaaa just let me have some funn~” 

“You can have fun after work is over-“ 

“Aaah! sorry I'm late!” 

The agency’s door bangs open, and a disheveled young woman appears.

you?

he automatically freezes, eyes widening as he feels a chill run down his spine, dazai did just a quick double check to see if his vision is finally failing him.

the same eye colour? check.

the same hair colour? check.

the same height? check.

check, check, check.

fuck

Was what Dazai thinks after mentally checking off everything. His eyebrows furrowing. it was getting even more suspicious. Normally, you would die before he got to interact with you, so isn't this practically giving him a chance to know about you? What the hell does it- does it even fucking make sense? 

obviously not. 

which…didn’t make things any easier. 

kunikida mutters something under his breath before marching towards you, ready to give out yet another lecture. “Now why were you late?!” 

“uhm…I had to work a longer shift?” you said, shifting from one foot to the other. “Uh…it also didn’t help that there were more customers than usual..?” you added, awkwardly smiling as you sweatdropped nervously. 

“how many times do I have to tell you to fix your schedule?!” kunikida practically screams at you. “This has been the 5th time this month!” he stomps his foot before sighing, walking back to his seat and sitting down before checking his watch; “see? Now you’ve made me 3 minutes behind!” he groans, but promptly pushes back up his eyeglasses and opens back his computer to work.

“It wasn’t my fault- oh! new member huh? hi. want meat buns anyone?” you raise up a paper bag of warm buns, waiting for their response. instantly, almost everyone in that room raises their hand up. Except for kunikida and dazai.

“…we need to save some for president and haruno though.” Yosano reminded you as she reached into the bag for one. “i bought another bag of them, it’s fine!” you reassured her, then walked towards dazai.

 “hey, you. Do you like meat buns?” you ask, before letting him having a chance to answer, you stuffed the whole bun into his mouth when you got the chance, “it’s good right?” ignoring the fact that he may be choking right now. But who cares when you have dr. yosano? 

“Yep!” he replies after a while when he finished the bun, putting on a charming smile, pausing for a few moments before adding something utterly ridiculous; “would you be interested in committing a double suici-?” 

“no.” you interrupted, cutting him off. hitting his head with a folder you took from kunikida’s desk. Not noticing the slight ouch he let out. “I’m far too young to die yet.” You declare, taking out a bun and apparently practically inhaling it in less than a minute.

“What’s your name by the way?” “Dazai Osamu.” “That’s a weird name.” You remark, placing back the folder. “Anyways, I’m [name].“

“no last name?” “[name]’s surname is a mystery to everyone. only the president and ranpo know it, but apparently they wont even give a hint.” Yosano yawned stretching her arms.

“But, if you successfully guess what is her last name, you get half the money in her purse!” A random staff member chimed in.

“shut up!” you huff, “and my last name isn’t that important anyways! Besides, I’m not paying anyone for guessing my last name correctly-“

“all of you shut up! We won’t ever get any work done at this rate! Dazai, focus on your damned reports! [name]! Help organise these folders!”

kunikida hollered, now practically spitting fire. Well, to avoid trouble, everyone got to work. Expect for dazai that is. Unfortunately, he was still lazing around until you threatened to tell the president of his tardiness.

“Who knew [name] could be so strict? you really wouldn’t know her from just 3 years ago.” yosano teases as you glare at her. “Let’s not talk about that time.” You cringe, tensing up at the memory.

“ehh? but you were so cute back then! now you’re just a boring adult…” the doctor sighs, “at least I can go out to drink with you now.” she added, browsing through grotesque pictures of victims’ deaths. “oooo now this looks good…” she mumbled, absorbed in choosing the next picture to hang in her room. 

“Well im glad that I changed.” you say as you pour some coffee into your cup. How the coffee machine got placed on your desk was a wonder but no one asked why, already used to your rather unusual actions.

“Mmm…pretty sure you’re the only one that feels like that.” 

…

“I swear to God I’m gonna dieeee…” you slump in your chair, frowning after a few hours passed. evening had arrived and it was just about 6:00PM. The sun was in the process of setting, a warm orange-reddish glow settled around the agency.

everyone was occupied with something; dazai with his beloved a guide to suicide book, you with your day dreaming, kunikida with his work, yosano with her pictures, the staff with their own things, and ranpo who finally arrived after buying his snacks and is now feasting on them.

“there’s more work for today. Good job everyone. Feel free to home and rest.” the president suddenly appears from from his office, a black cat and haruno following him close behind.

Fukuzawa Yukichi: the man responsible for creating the Armed Detective Agency. the cat sat down the floor, then stared up at the president, letting out a small ‘meow!’ earning a few “awwws” from the agency staff and members.

“goodness…that cat is cute…” you murmur, playing with a pen. “I’ll bet I’ll scare the shit outta them the second i try to go near there though. what a shame.” You sigh before picking up your phone, after hearing numerous pings, you quickly scrolled through them, then got up, took your bag and started out.

“well then, thank you all for the hard work and please excuse me for leaving before you. I’ll see you all tomorrow then. Also! president! There’s a bag of meat buns for you and haruno! enjoy!” You waved, opened the door, and left. stretching your arms when you felt like you finally tasted the freedom of after finishing work.

you soon arrived at the train station, buying a ticket then entered the train. Suprisingly, there weren’t too much people. That’s good. after all, being stuffed in a train with loads of people like sardines in a can was never fun.

sitting down, you glanced out the window, admiring how pretty the sky looked when the sun was setting. Maybe you should wake up earlier tomorrow to see the sunrise…which would probably never happen since waking up in the mornings were hell.

nothing was really new. you followed the same routine everyday. wake up, brush your teeth, eat something, dress, then head to uzumaki cafe to work.

Which usually lasted until the afternoons. Then, you walked up to the agency’s office and helped with almost anything until your roommate spammed your messages to buy groceries or beer or whatever.

you’d head back, make dinner, do chores, shower, mess around then practically pass out in your bed until 7:00am and repeat.

you followed the same routine today as well, get back, made dinner, which today consisted of rice, vegetables, and soup. after that, you headed to bed a bit later than usual. due to innasomia from caffeine.

you really shouldn’t have drunk that much coffee at night.

either way, you were content with how things were. And you had thought that tomorrow would be the same as before until you woke up due to your phone ringing.

squinting at your clock, you wince. It was quite early: 8:00am and you only got 4 hours of sleep. just the day when you got the rare chance to head to work late.

groaning, you reached for your phone blindly, knocking down a few things until you could finally get a hold of it.

“…hello?” You groggily ask when you answer the phone, immediately snapping awake from your half asleep state after realising what the other person on the line just said.

“what the actual living fuck?”

rua’s notes : and that concludes the first chapter! whoaaaa it sure took a while huh :0 since it’s only the 1st, I wont immediately write abt the reader and osamu’s relationship :3 also, the reader has a ability ! (just wait a few more chapters) also chapter two will be focusing back on dazai !

thank u for reading this cringy ass fic that I stayed up all night writing !

chuuya, kunikida, and dazai with an s/o who would hide under the bed for no reason besides its nice down there and would sometimes grab their ankle to scare them

i would love to hang out under my bed tbh but i keep all my stuff under there lol. good deterrent for demons because then they can't fit under there

S/O who hides under the bed

♡ pairing: Chuuya Nakahara, Doppo Kunikida, Dazai Osamu x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How are these guys with an S/O who likes hanging out under the bed?

♡ cw: Swearing, teensy tiny bit of NSFW in Dazai's part.

note:

Seriously though. Thank you guys for all your sweet comments and messages I really appreciated all of them very much (and yes each one made me cry). I might not say it very much but I love all of you guys and I'm thankful for your support. Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Chuuya:

He's just kinda like...wha...? He's so confused at first lol

Even if you grab his ankle and try to scare him, he's just like...why'd you do that babygirl (gender neutral term). He'd also find it kind of adorable how frustrated you get that it didn't work, but what were you expecting? He's a mafia executive babygirl (again, gender neutral term)

Chuuya is little amused by your under-the-bed habit and lowkey thinks it's pretty cute. At first though he was kinda worried as to what caused it, but if it makes you feel better then he doesn't care

If he wants you out of there he will coax you out with your favourite food or something like you're a puppy (he's getting his yearning for a pet dog out of his system don't worry)

Probably wouldn't go under the bed with you super often, but you guys would have a lot of conversations while he's laying on the bed and you're laying under it. It's surprisingly easy to do!

Would start leaving you little gifts/snacks down there sometimes as a surprise

Probably wouldn't encourage you to sleep under there though. Spinal health and all

As always Chuuya is very supportive and all he wants is for you to feel happy and safe <3

Kunikida:

Worried about this habit at first. He assumes that it's some kind of trauma response. Whether it is or it isn't he'll learn to accept it don't worry

That being said he doesn't really love it. If you wanna relax he'd rather that you do it in a more comfortable space. If you're under there because you don't feel great then he'd rather you just talk to him. He'd do (almost) anything to make you feel better :')

If you grabbed his ankle one time to scare him he might never recover. Like he'd be genuinely terrified. Might faint or burst into tears or scream or something idk

Absolutely would chide you for your "childish behaviour". In all honesty he just feels like it's something Dazai would do and he suffers enough from this kind of thing at work

But yes in the end he would forgive you if you apologised to him. Might not be so kind if you continued trying to scare him though

Leaves you a pillow and a blanket down there just in case you get cold. He won't leave any food though because he's worried about ants and mould and stuff

Wouldn't go under there with you though. Sorry but he just doesn't wanna 😪

Honestly? As long as you're getting your shit done, he doesn't mind where you spend your free time

Dazai:

He literally doesn't even question it. Sometimes small spaces are just cosy y'know?

Dazai literally lived in a shipping container (at least I think? I haven't read Stormbringer yet T-T). He'd be all up for hanging out under the bed whether or not you were with him lol

The first time you grab his ankle to scare him, if you're lucky, you'll catch him off guard. But you're never getting his ass again, ever

I mean sometimes he might play along to humour you, but you'll literally never actually scare him again. Like he just walks into your bedroom under the assumption that you're under the bed and prepared to scare him.

Straight up if he can't find you when he wakes up or something he'll just guess that you're under the bed and won't bother you.

That being said if you straight up disappeared or something he'd obviously worry about you. But he gives you space when you need it, and will only come under the bed with you if you say he can

Also he would definitely start doing it to you. Both as revenge and just because he thinks it's funny, but he'll stop if you ask him to (you don't. It straight up becomes a war)

He straight up might try to get it on with you under the bed, as if there's room or something. Damnit Dazai

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fedyushka, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl

Heart to Heart — Edgar Allan Poe x gn! reader

summary: reader meets Ranpo's rival at Kyouka's welcome party, and seems to keep running into him. What happens when they both realize their feelings?

tw: mentions of suicide (Dazai smh), Poe thinks reader is pretty/beautiful (I do think these terms are gender neutral), mentions of death (?) (they're on a murder case with Ranpo)

a/n: I LOVE HIM! But it's so weird to write for Edgar Allan Poe as I had a unit about him for one of my English classes (this is why I mainly refer to him as Poe 💀).

wc: 3.7k

Master List

Your eyes trailed over to the mysterious man who sat where the clients normally sat. You had seen Ranpo greet him before swiftly leaving. You also noticed the mischievous gleam in his green eyes as he passed you by. The man, whose brown hair had a purple tint under the office lights, had been left sitting there with his adorable pet raccoon for over thirty minutes. You weren’t the most extroverted person, but even you felt a slight tug to include him in the party that was currently being held. 

You dearly hoped he liked cake as you approached the awkward man with two plates with a slice of cake on each. You had briefly recalled Yosano speaking of encountering a Guild member who met this man's descriptions. He had the power to entrap others in his novels and seemed obsessed with Ranpo. She had spoken of him comically, brushing him off as someone who wasn’t a threat towards anyone, and seeing him now you couldn’t help but agree. Although for the life of you, you couldn’t remember his name (or if Yosano had even mentioned it).

“Uhm, hello,” You greeted him. You couldn’t see his eyes through his bangs, but you were still able to see the comical surprise that shifted over his features. His face flushed a bright pink as his head shifted to look anywhere but you. “Do you mind if I sit with you?” You pointed towards the seat across from him. His shoulders scrunched up, causing his raccoon to fuss and jump down. 

He began to stammer over his words, mumbling things you couldn’t make out for the life of you. Placing his hands over his face, he stopped trying to speak and shakily nodded his head. Against your better judgment, you found yourself endeared to him already. You found his fashion choices worked for his aesthetic well, and his bangs covering his face seemed less like an edgy choice, and more of wanting to be hidden from the world. His shy personality and pet raccoon had also made him easier to adore. 

Sitting down, you placed the plate on the table in front of him, “I hope you like cake, if not, there’s tons of other snacks.”

“Th-thank you,” He stuttered out, picking up the plate with a reverence you didn’t understand.

That was how you met Edgar Allan Poe. You found yourself enjoying spending time with him, asking him about his pet to find a connection. It was weird, where you normally had trouble keeping a conversation with someone, it felt easier with him. You suspected that it had something to do with the fact that he was the one struggling in this situation. Conversation flowed easily, as your topic had switched from pets to mystery/horror novels. You both had more in common than you thought, and he even offered you a novel to read (that alone took up most of his courage…and you hinted that you’d like to read one).

“The Tell-Tale Heart,” You repeated. “Sounds interesting.” It seemed like any form of praise, even the tiniest, had caused Poe to short circuit. You had just said that the title of his work sounded interesting and he felt his heart pound faster. He was quickly forgetting why he was here in the first place, enraptured by your attention. The first time in years, he felt like beating Ranpo had taken the back seat, as he now wanted your approval as well.

“Wuuaaa~” Loud coos had grabbed both of your attention. Kyouka was currently holding Karl, the other members crowding around her to also see the raccoon. Poe ran over, hiding behind the other side of the table, trying to coax Karl away. A bright grin took over your features at the display before you. Joining Poe by his side, you patted his shoulder, hoping to comfort him a little. After all, Karl seemed to be loving the attention.

It didn’t take much time for you to see the recluse again. After the welcome party for Kyouka, you missed the chance to exchange numbers to stay in contact. Poe had managed to slip away in the chaos of cleaning, which left you feeling a bit downtrodden. But being Ranpo’s work partner had its perks…sometimes. To your utter surprise, Poe was at the end of your destination. Ranpo had snuck up behind the poor man, scaring the daylights out of him. Poe had become even more flustered when his eyes met yours. You waved at him in greeting, but he had quickly switched to asking why Ranpo was here.

That was how Poe ended up joining you both. You noticed how Ranpo gave time for Poe to figure it out. You had a hunch at the party. The fact that Ranpo had invited Poe, only to leave him, and now how he was trying to help Poe solve the crime. They were friends, or as friendly as it can get for a riverally. They almost seemed like siblings, bickering about who was better. 

“What do you think?” Poe asked, softly calling your name as he turned to you. You paused, you hadn’t paid a lick of attention to the current case, as usually Ranpo would solve it quickly while boasting about his ability. But now that Poe was here, and Ranpo was giving him a chance, he was looking to you for confirmation. 

For being someone in the Armed Detective Agency…you weren’t much of a detective. Yes you enjoyed reading mystery and horror novels in your free time, but you had joined the agency due to having nowhere else to go. Your ability had caused you too much trouble when you were young as you couldn’t fully control it. Even under Fukuzawa you still would have troubles. That’s why you were partnered with Ranpo, as your use of your ability was only used in emergencies. 

As much as you didn’t like to be chalked up to a mere guide, you found yourself more as a mediator since Ranpo would tend to upset others. Ranpo and you worked well together, your personalities complimenting each other well, and if someone took their anger (originally aimed at Ranpo) out on you, Ranpo would quickly shut them down and leave. 

You glanced at Ranpo, hoping he’d give you a slight hint at what was just said, but he only chuckled as he watched you both. With an anxious tone, you asked Poe if he could repeat himself. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to mind too much, repeating his process and conclusion with pink cheeks. If only you could see his eyes, the way the dark purple shined with hope of your approval. Perhaps an awed look would take over your features at his brilliance. 

“But then she would’ve had to be alive at 2pm, didn’t they say the time of death was 1:30pm?” You asked, genuinely confused. Scratching at his cheek, Poe gently informed you of how the suspect managed to kill her. It was quite convoluted and hard to imagine actually happening, but Ranpo clapped, approving of the conclusion (albeit a bit backhandedly).

“Wow,” You blinked in awe. “You both are so smart.”

“You should expect nothing less from the world's best detective!” Ranpo exclaimed, already leaving the scene. Suddenly, your praise for Ranpo evaporated. Turning to Poe, you hadn’t expected the blissful expression that painted his face. Karl rested around his shoulders, also seeming pleased. 

“C’mon,” You gestured to Poe to follow you with your head. “Let’s celebrate this together.” Poe had never felt this warm before, the way you smiled at him so sweetly made him feel warmer than the sun that was shining down on you both. He followed you (quite obediently might I add), feeling himself fluster further as you pulled him to walk beside you instead of slightly behind. You continued to point Ranpo where to go as he led the three of you to your usual cafe. 

You ate your favorite dessert, trying to ignore how flustered you currently felt. Ranpo was rambling about something or another, you were more focused on the raccoon that was currently nuzzled into your cheek (you knew Karl was begging but you could indulge yourself in his furry affection). Although you slowly felt your attention drift to the dark brown haired man that sat beside you. His gaze felt like it was piercing through you, and you weren’t sure how to react. Even though it set your nerves alight, you couldn’t help but enjoy the attention of the pretty author. 

Poe really didn’t mean to stare…I swear. He just couldn’t take his eyes off you. Every instance he’s with you, you seem to be more beautiful than he remembered. He wasn’t sure why, this was his second time talking with you after all, but each glance at you and his breath seemed to be stolen all over again. Not to mention how Karl seemed to favor you over him already. Poe understood, as from what he’s seen of you, you’ve been nothing but sweet. He’d nuzzle against you if he were a raccoon too. 

You had managed to get his number that time (more like Ranpo made a scene about why you both should switch numbers). Yet you found yourself hesitating. What would you even say? Then, like a light bulb went off, you remembered a certain promise Poe had made. Quickly, you texted him, asking him if he was free. You wanted to read that short story he mentioned the first time you met. 

Poe on the other hand, anxiously awaited a text from you. He couldn’t even focus on the novel that he was writing to challenge Ranpo. His eyes kept drifting to his phone, hoping it would buzz. Though the longer you took to text him, the more he started to doubt himself. Why would someone as amazing as you be interested in someone as lowly as him? You were Ranpo’s work partner, you already were surrounded by the best, what could he offer you? Poe slouched as these thoughts consumed him. You had shown him a light, and now he felt like he was drowning in his darkness once again. 

“Meow~” Poe’s phone buzzed. He perked up, quickly fumbling with the phone to open it. He had changed your ringtone and message notification sound the instant you mentioned you liked cats (this made him almost swoon as he also likes cats). As Poe read your text, he felt himself fluster (a feeling he was starting to get used to in your presence). Scrambling, Poe quickly made sure he had the story, a giddy yet nervous feeling consuming him. You were to both meet this weekend, and he was going to give you a copy of The Tell-Tale Heart at a cafe (similar to the one you went to before but a bit more quiet). 

…

You sat idly in a seat, watching the crowds pass by through the window. Tapping mindlessly at the table, you only looked up when a gentle bell chimed throughout the small shop. You smiled brightly as you waved Poe over. He shuffled over, taking a seat across from you, head bent down shyly. The waitress quickly swooped in, taking both your orders before leaving. An awkward silence fell over you both, and you realized that this was your first time together alone (in a sense). 

“This is for you,” Poe muttered, sliding a small book over the table. You lit up, picking up the small work and admiring the cover.

“Thank you so much!” You thanked, paging through the book briefly before closing it once more. You kept in mind the fact there was a personal note in the front, you’d have to read that later. 

“There’s a few other short stories as well,” Poe rambled slightly. “Th-they’re only a few pages in length so it wouldn’t have made much of a book alone.”

“You’re spoiling me,” You teased, placing the dark covered book aside (not wanting to accidentally ruin such a heartfelt gift). Both your food and drinks were placed in front of you not much longer. Poe felt his heart set aflame as you treated his work so gently, like it was something you genuinely cared for. If this counted as spoiling, then he’d write you anything you could ever ask for. 

It was that same night that Poe started to finally mull over his feelings for you. They had grown and had grown quickly. He felt himself shrink as he hunched over his current work in process, mind drifting towards you. There was no way he could’ve fallen for you (and so quickly). He’s a reclusive author trying to prove his worth, he had no time for silly distractions. (Who was he kidding, he was already dreaming up domestic moments he’d die to have with you). 

…

Ranpo found it funny at first. For the best detective, he was quite oblivious about others feelings (if he even cared), but even he couldn’t deny the fact that you both were head over heels for the other. It started to get grating over time as Poe was no longer focused on his rival. How Poe would blush as he looked towards you for approval, how he would stutter at your praise. It was so foolish, Ranpo really didn’t understand why Poe acted like such towards you. You were just another baby like the rest of the world, you just happened to be a baby that Ranpo cared about (not that he’d ever admit that).

Soon, Ranpo found your actions boring. The way you’d beat around your feelings, never admitting the obvious. It reminded Ranpo of how he felt before he met the President. How everyone was so sneaky about the truth, until the President made him realize people were really just that stupid. Ranpo couldn’t help but sigh at that thought, you both were terribly idiotic. 

“They’re just too caught up in their own feelings,” Dazai sighed, holding his head up in his hands. “How I envy Poe, to have someone to commit suicide with so readily.”

“I’m not commiting suicide with Poe,” You walked in with a deadpan. You weren’t sure why you or Poe were the topic of conversation between Dazai and Ranpo, but you didn’t like where it was going.

“Your tale of love is so-”

You swiftly slapped the back of Dazai’s head, warmth blooming on your cheeks. Were they saying you and Poe were romantically inclined? The thought alone made your entire body heat up (it would be hard to deny you felt affectionate towards the quiet man). 

“I’m sorry to disappoint but my love life is still as dull as ever,” You rolled your eyes, taking a bite of the snack you grabbed.

“It’s so obvious how you and Poe feel for each other,” Ranpo complained, a bored look on his face. “You’re too busy looking at your phone to witness my brilliance.” 

“Shut up!” You grumbled, face feeling like it was on fire. Were you really on your phone that much? 

“Ahhh~ There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Dazai teased, a carefree look on his face. “Love is an extraordinary feeling. It’s only a shame when you don’t act on it.”

“That’s why a double suicide-”

This time Kunikida threw a pen at Dazai’s head, cutting him off. Kunikida’s glasses shone under the light as he pushed them up. “Stop trying to get them to commit a double suicide and do your work.”

…

Dazai’s words rung in your head. Although the context was spurious, they had some truth. It would be a shame if you and Poe had feelings for each other and neither of you acted on it (Lord knows Poe wouldn’t). So you decided it would be up to you, and what better than to write a love letter? It would be easier than to say it in person. Which is how you ended up hunched over your desk at home, once again viciously erasing what you previously wrote.

You couldn’t put your feelings into words. You weren’t terrible at writing, as writing reports on the daily had made you try different styles to keep your brain from turning into mush. Yet at the moment all your knowledge seemed to flow right out of your mind. You didn’t want to come on too strong, but you didn’t want to undermine your feelings either. You felt frustrated as the paper crumpled at the amount of times you had written and erased it. 

After what felt like forever, you finally settled on what you had written. It was short and sweet, it got your feelings across and it couldn’t be misinterpreted as anything but romantic (you literally ask him on a date at the end). 

You gave it to him when you met up in your weekly hang out. You both had agreed to it, greatly enjoying each other's company. It wasn’t always out in public either, as sometimes you’d go to his place (or vice versa). You were going over to his place, as he wanted to continue to work on his novel (but he didn’t mind if you joined him). It was a perfect opportunity to not only reread his book, but to hide the letter somewhere he would find it. 

Everything was going well, Poe had made some tea (mainly for you but you forced him to join you). Karl was resting on your lap, making happy chattering noises as you gently pet him. The atmosphere was warm and comforting, you couldn’t ask for better company (don’t tell that to Ranpo). You didn’t notice anything was off until Karl jumped off your lap, making you pause your reading. A white envelope was clasped in Karl’s jaws and you felt your heart drop. It was too late, the raccoon was faster than he looked. 

Adrenaline rushed through your veins, fight or flight reactions kicking in. Of course yours was freeze (you couldn’t be more grateful for the President’s ability as otherwise yours would have activated by now). Poe paused in his writing, setting his fountain pen down as Karl sat on the desk, placing your love letter down in front of his owner. You silently glared at Karl, what a little traitor. Poe’s head rose slightly towards you, and you quickly shoved your nose back into the book. 

Poe hesitated, unsure of what to do. Was this yours? Had you sent Karl as a messenger or was Karl up to his mischievous schemes? Poe didn’t want to invade your privacy, but perhaps you wanted him to read whatever was inside? Was this even yours? Maybe it was something Poe had written and forgot about (he could be quite forgetful). Once again, Poe looked over at you, and once again he caught you watching him. He felt himself fluster, deep down enjoying your attention on him. 

You hadn’t said anything, and you clearly acknowledged he had the envelope…so perhaps it was okay for him to open it. Hesitantly, he grabbed his letter opener and cut through. With shaky hands, his mind came up with ideas of what could possibly be written (his favorite idea was a love letter). He felt himself get giddy at the thought of you pouring your feelings for him out on paper for him to read. His heart beat faster as his eyes took in the lovely letter you had written. He felt like he was going to burst into flames at the forwardness. You wanted to go on a date with him? His mind felt like it was melting, how could someone like you be interested in him? 

You, on the other hand, watched from the safety of your book. You bit your lip to suppress your smile at Poe’s flustered state. You don’t think you could ever get over how cute he was. It felt even better that it was you he was flustered over. He buried his face into his hands, Karl tilting his head curiously. You on the other hand were sitting on the edge of your seat. Would he respond? Would he ignore it? It felt awkward that you were in the room when he read it, it was supposed to be when you were away!

“I-is it true?” Poe asked weakly. You almost missed it if you weren’t so tuned in to his reaction.

“Yeah,” You nodded, finally closing your book and placing it in your lap. “Don’t…feel pressured to feel the same way. I understand if you don’t.” You weren’t sure where your doubt came from, even you couldn’t deny how Poe acted around you. Yet you still felt like he might not want something like that. 

Poe fidgeted with the papers that laid before him. Suddenly, he pulled a fresh sheet of paper, quickly writing something down. You watched in slight wonder mixed with anxiety. What was he doing? Was he really ignoring you? Or was he replying? You fidgeted with the pages of your book, saying nothing as Poe handed the paper to Karl. Without hesitation, Karl made his way back to you. Standing on his hind legs, Karl placed his paws on your knees, paper resting in his mouth. You grabbed the paper, eyes stumbling to read over the words.

Poe really had a way with words. You thought his short stories were amazing, yet it was hard to breathe as you read his feelings for you. Your skin warmed at the sweet words he wrote of you. Finally, at the end, he had agreed to the date. You tried to take in deep breaths to compose yourself, you felt as flustered as Poe looked. 

“Show off,” You pouted, unsure how to react otherwise. You tucked the paper into your book, you would be sure to keep that safe to reread again. It wasn’t fair how he managed to make you feel fluttery and turn your insides into mush. 

Poe shrunk into himself, covering his face with his hands once more. He was just so cute…you couldn’t let him get away with such a crime. Standing up, you stood on the opposite side of his desk, leaning over while dragging his hands away from his face. Poe began to stutter, fumbling over all his words as now he felt like his brain was not only mush, but draining out of his head. 

Finally, you placed a short kiss on his cheek, “I look forward to the date.”

The Guild's actions during the story are so insane, when you think about them properly, you know? When I first read the arc with them, this moment hasn't really occurred to me, as I was too busy going nuts over finally seeing the names of the familiar writers, but now when I think of that... I am not sure, I comprehend how they managed to achieve such a ferocious reputation. I have already made a little post about how extremely dysfunctional the DOA members are, but at least those guys have a plan, which actually makes sense more or less, even despite the gang using cheatcodes/the Book. The same cannot be said of the Guild however archghhjkn. Like, what the hell were these guys even doing??? XD

So here are just some moments, which weirded me out the most

At first I'd like to address the entire story with everyone's favorite tsundere, Lucy Maud Montgomery. Her introduction leaves quuuuite an impression in the best way and nothing makes me happier than the fact, that she gets a chance to find happiness in the following chapters and actually becomes a reoccurring character! HOWEVER, her entire involvement with the Guild is super odd... I still can't wrap my head around her getting fired. She is a girl with a hella powerful ability, who got taken to the Guild from a terrible, terrible orphanage in order to fight for them in the war for the Book, so not only is she very strong, but she's also immensely dependant on the organisation and wouldn't do anything outside of its interests. Yet Lucy is also put under extreme pressure. As she herself puts it, the Guild doesn't tolerate failures and will kick her out the moment she screws something up.

Later we see that this is exactly what happens, when she messes up her first mission. Fitzgerald himself confirms that, since she failed and revealed her ability to the enemies, she's no longer useful, so now a powerful esper, like Lucy works for free as a... laundress?

EXCUSE ME??? WHEN HAVE THE GUILD MEMBERS EVER DONE ANYTHING, BUT FAIL AND REVEAL THEIR ABILITIES?

Let's be real, these dudes were successful like only once or twice...

This fact not only makes Fitzgerald look like an idiot for wasting such a talented and useful worker, because of one mistake, but also as one hell of a hypocrite, cause he is more than fine with everyone else fucking up. And in case of Lovecraft and Steinbeck: fucking up twice. To add to the oddity, we later learn, that Louisa genuinely cares for Lucy and despite her social anxiety actually stood up for her during the entire story, but even that wasn't enough to change Fitzgerald's mind on the issue, though Louisa is one of the few people, whose opinion he respects. Honestly, this is such a waste of a truly useful subordinate. And speaking of which....

The Guild has never even tried to implement Edgar Allan Poe during the war...

This man is actually rather op when you think of it. He can capture and neutralise literally any ability user in Yokohama (besides Dazai, Mori and Ranpo ofc) just by throwing a book at them. Seriously, as we see with Chuuya, they don't even have to read it, they just need to see the pages. Plus the book can be actually sent via email!!! So why has there been an absolute zero amount of strategies with the use of this ability??? They could actually try to catch Atsushi by sending him such email containing any of Poe's mystery stories and then safely carry him back to their base. And it doesn't have to be just Atsushi, it could be literally any of their enemies. Non-combatant, like Ranpo could use this pretty damn well to his advantage and it doesn't take a genius to understand the potential of the "Black Cat in Rue Morgue". But nooooo, it seems like everyone has just forgotten of Poe!!! (Tho to be honest, I can actually see this situation in a funny extra awfgbfggfjj. Not the main story however) The agency would never even learn of his existence, if he didn't personally decide to try to fuck Ranpo's life up. Like, what does Poe even do in the Guild? He's the master architect and, according to him, the third ranking man in the organization, but we never see him be of any use, so Idk. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Lucy at least got to do something, unlike this poor man.

Then there's the entire drama with the Guild's decision to destroy Yokohama. Where do I even begin...

First of all, Fitzgerald has no way of knowing that Atsushi is going to come to Moby-Dick to fight him. Poor guy is the Guild's primary goal and has already gotten himself captured once, so it would have been safe to assume that the ADA decided to hide him somewhere and not send him on any dangerous missions for the time being. That basically means Fitzgerald could have burned down not just Yokohama, but also the only person, who could actually help him find his precious Book.

But if we're to ignore this, let's also go with Wikipedia then~

"Yokohama is the second-largest city in Japan by population and the most populous municipality of Japan. It is the capital city and the most populous city in Kanagawa Prefecture, with a 2020 population of 3.8 million. It lies on Tokyo Bay, south of Tokyo, in the Kantō region of the main island of Honshu. Yokohama is also the major economic, cultural, and commercial hub of the Greater Tokyo Area along the Keihin Industrial Zone."

..........................

Good luck making up for the destruction of THIS, Fitzgerald 🖕

And if this in itself wasn't bad enough, most people, including me, tend to forget that all Guild members are actually big shots in the American government, which I think is very sad. Because first of all, can you imagine any of the Guild members actually working as politicians?!! The sheer idea makes me hysterical avshbgj. Like, just consider Lovecraft working as a senator or something. This eldritch horror of a man leaves the ocean once in three years at best LMAO. Second of all, I have a feeling, that the destruction of Yokohama at the hands of influential politicians from a foreign country would have resulted in an international conflict or two~ Like as if random deranged rich Americans arriving in Japan, wreaking havoc over there and destroying the second largest city in the country wasn't bad enough, these Americans just HAD to be super influential businessmen and politicians. Louisa, my dear, I understand that it wasn't your intention, but it's as close to a declaration of war as it can get, you know? Fitzgerald may be ready to do anything to resurrect his dead daughter, but I'm not sure, that the execution of himself and the rest of the Guild at the hands of the Hunting Dogs is something he'd like.

(And here's another funny thing that stems from them being politicians 🤭 As @originalartblog wittily pointed out, Fitzgerald wasting all his money fighting sskk has probably resulted in a market crash and recession over in the USA)

I also have some other questions in regards to this entire plan, such as why did they have to waste Moby-Dick just to destroy Yokohama? Yes, it works in the short term, but in the long term they loose a super powerful fortress with the stealth mode and as the practice shows, you better have a safe base, unless you want another lemon freak to blow it all up. I mean, you could just ask Lovecraft to destroy everything for free. Or, if the device is the only way to stop the giant whale from crashing, why didn't Fitzgerald just take it to a far away bunker or something and waited things out there without the need to spend millions of dollars just to survive the explosion? (And it would have been extremely funny, if during the fight with sskk he just threw the device overboard) But I think I have already rambled for long enough already atxhghbgv XD

The Guild is an even bigger mess than the DOA and I think that's glorious 🙌

So I agree that the Agency should've listened to Ranpo when he said don't take the job. Because... It's Ranpo, you listen to Ranpo.

But, thinking on it... Would it have made a difference?

Either way Fukuchi has the page. The world is still going to believe that the Agency are terrorists. And all law enforcement aren't going to believe their innocence.

They wouldn't be taking the job but the Agency would still be investigating. To figure out who's trying to trap them and how.

I don't believe for a second they'd get the chainsaw video and not act. It's just in this case they know going in that it's a trap.

What might change is who goes in. And that they'd probably have an escape route planned out.

Fukuzawa and Ranpo might be able to put it together the Hunting Dogs might go after them. And know while tensions are high they can't negotiate their way out.

So counter measures could be put in place to get them off the scent. And get everyone to a safe point where they can use Lucy's ability as a base.

Which means they might not need the Port Mafia to rescue them. I can imagine Mori calling like "I see there's a bounty for your head Fukuzawa. Mind convincing me not to take it?"

Because criminal mastermind he may be but he's also a petty bitch. I doubt he'd actually take it though, because ew working with the government.

But he'd still end up telling them where Dazai is. Mersault basically goes as canon with Chuuya showing up and all that.

Sky casino shit still goes down, Ranpo figured out it was made 8 days ago rather than 3 years ago. The Agency split up and a team is sent up there, and the pages location is given.

The scene with Ranpo talking to Fukuchi is instead Ranpo and Fukuzawa going to talk to Fukuchi.

Atsushi's there too as back up incase things so south... Which they do. Kamui's identity is revealed, Ranpo goes into the book to avoid a sword strike and sends a smoke signal.

Which means the fight begins as Fukuzawa and Atsushi against Fukuchi. Fukuzawa does tell Atsushi to escape, as did Ranpo. But Fukuchi won't allow that.

Fukuzawa is confused, hurt and angry. Fukuchi ain't telling him nothing, crept "you know nothing because you didn't go to war."

As he does.

Atsushi's on the ground waiting for his leg to return. And Fukuzawa is struggling, he's really hurt but he's still fighting.

Atsushi wishes they had help, someone... Anyone. A sword slice is aimed at him... And is blocked by Rashomon. Akutagawa makes his entrance and joins the fight.

Fukuzawa manages to get Fukuchi's sword away from him. To which he laughs and summons Amenogozen.

3 against 1 it may be but Fukuchi is clearly winning. Because his sword is the literal worst. It ends with Fukuzawa going down, succumbing to his injuries.

Atsushi and Akutugawa using their combined attacks and getting foiled. Because that sword is the worst. Akutugawa gets Atsushi and the President to safety and is killed and subsequently vampire.

Atsushi carries Fukuzawa's injured body and Poe's book. Yosano heals him and Atsushi is apologetic and so upset he failed him. Fukuzawa hugs him and reassures him.

"Gen'ichiro took me off guard... I will not falter when I face him" says Fukuzawa.

And from there, canon kinda just carries on I guess.

Though I say all this without menuoning that the Agency taking the job regardless of the warning, could have been written into the page.

Because Nikolai was there, he heard Mushitaro tell Ranpo not to take the job.

... So who knows.

who do you think will join the port mafia?

thank you for the question, anon!

i’m not entirely sure which ada member will be transferred to the port mafia, but i do believe this is best determined through the process of elimination.

the preface this, i am ruling out the clerks, as i don’t believe they would be beneficial to the port mafia. it would be quite unproductive of mori to choose one of them. (unless he chooses naomi to force tanizaki’s hand? though i don’t particularly believe in that theory.)

okay, let’s begin.

core agents:

while mori does want a member, this is not to the agency’s detriment. therefore, the pillar members are very unlikely to be chosen—these members being fukuzawa, ranpo, yosano, and kunikida. we can effectively rule them out as follows: fukuzawa’s ability maintains stability within the ada, ranpo’s deduction isn’t suited for a mafioso, yosano has been deemed off-limits, and kunikida is fukuzawa’s successor.

kyouka:

another agent who i believe is unlikely to be chosen is kyouka, as kouyou and mori have both shown to be impressed by her resolve to better herself, and i can’t imagine them forcing her back into the mafia after all of that growth. kouyou especially—she has given up on trying to take kyouka back, and is actively trying to keep her from the port mafia now.

as for members who are possible contenders, we are left with dazai, tanizaki, atsushi, and kenji.

atsushi:

i don’t really believe they will choose atsushi. to my knowledge, he still requires all men are equal to have full control over his ability, and if he were to leave the agency, fukuzawa’s ability would no longer have an effect on him. he has been training, but i don’t think he’s had enough time to master byakko yet.

however, i could see why he would be chosen from a narrative standpoint. it would provide the audience a new perspective, and allow further development for many characters. we cannot entirely rule him out, especially since the port mafia has been gunning for him since day one (though that was due to a contract from the guild. still, i suppose it stands.)

dazai:

i’d hope mori wouldn’t pick dazai, though, i have seen some compelling arguments as to why he may be chosen. in forcing dazai out of the port mafia, mori has shown to hold some regret, despite having chosen the “optimal solution”.

there is also the case of potential foreshadowing in the osamu dazai and the dark era light novel, with mori saying to odasaku, “…dazai’s capabilities are astounding. i’m sure in four or five years, he’ll have killed me and taken my place.” this takes place when dazai was eighteen, which would place him at around twenty-two or twenty-three.

all things considered, i don’t think it’ll be him. dazai has made too many strides toward fulfilling his promise to odasaku for mori to take him back now, and in disrupting that, i believe there would only be a severe backlash. i think mori will keep dazai’s executive position open and available to him, not force him back into it.

this leaves us with two possible agents: jun'ichirou and kenji. i have seen extensive reasoning as to why either of them may be chosen, and to be honest, i’m quite conflicted myself.

kenji:

kenji’s ability would be very useful to the port mafia, but his naïveté might be a disadvantage. he also may fall under the same category as atsushi in not being able to maintain full control over his ability without fukuzawa, but he has been shown to have precautions in place, so i cannot confirm that he needs the safety net. he is certainly a valuable asset to both organizations, and i don’t believe he would be opposed so long as he is protecting the agency.

tanizaki:

tanizaki has been the fan favorite for “most likely to be transferred over”, and i can’t say i disagree. initially, he was my pick as well. it has been foreshadowed multiple times, with hirotsu claiming his ability is suited for assassination, to tanizaki attempting to kill mori, and even jun'ichirou outright volunteering himself in yosano’s place. he has been shown to not be opposed to killing so long as he is protecting naomi and his friends. this idea is expanded on in the third light novel, untold origins of the detective agency.

“…tanizaki felt he was mediocre at his job, held mediocre principles, and had a mediocre sense of justice…”

i believe that he very well may be chosen, as this would provide him the development which his character has been severely lacking.

however, i wouldn’t put it past asagiri to disregard those statements entirely and find a way to surprise us—it’s just what he does lol.

Man. How did I forget that an entire subplot of Dazai's main story was just. Trying to trap him into having a single conversation with MC like a normal person I'm so akhdjgfkljshgskjd

I just love watching her, Arthur, and Isaac deadass plot with glee to get one over on Dazai it's killing me, this is some Hamlet level shit (no Charles do not stand behind the curtain to kill Dazai coming in the window!!! yamero!!!!!)

Also because I felt personally attacked (/j) when Isaac said this:

I love you Isaac but pls have mercy on creatives we only have one brain cell and we're trying s o hard oTL

Although, and I'll leave it under the cut since I'm back on my Comte-posting, but the way Comte talks about Dazai fascinates me. Also just as fair warning, I do broach a lot of the topics that come up in Dazai rt so trigger warnings for self-harm, suicide, CPTSD and PTSD, trauma, etc. I don't go too too in-depth, but they are there.

Comte: "Dazai is quite skilled at concealing what he's really feeling, even from himself, perhaps."

The way he instantly remarks on how Dazai is not only working to conceal what he feels from others, but also from himself. Tbh I think that's enormously perceptive, because at first glance most people tend to think Dazai is lazy, troublesome, flippant, or erratic (and sometimes, a combination of all of these).

I love that he sees to the core of who Dazai is and what he's feeling; fear. Dazai is afraid of hurting someone again, but I also think on some level he's made it an ontological problem; he's afraid of himself. He thinks his very existence is a negative entity, something that exists only to hurt and/or estrange other people, something wrong/different. I'd argue that's why he's so adamant about mood-making and keeping to himself. If you never express how you truly feel or live true to yourself, on some level you can't entirely reach others. Because fundamentally, being close to other people does require some level of lowered defenses and sharing. Ergo, never dwell too long or give too much of yourself away, never make a mark on anyone--good or bad.

As a side note, Theo calls him "a half-strewn dandelion puff" and I agree that's rather blunt, but on some level Theo operates on a level of utility. His entire operating precept is that life and work must serve a discrete purpose. And Dazai, in choosing to opt out of living with meaning/intent out of fear, makes this description entirely consistent with Theo's perspective of the world. Though his phrasing is harsh and perhaps one-dimensional, I do find it interesting that he comes to a similar conclusion as Comte as to what Dazai is doing.

Comte talks about it with such clarity and calm, he really does feel so parental in this moment. He's not necessarily minimizing the reality of how Dazai is experiencing the world, but he also clearly doesn't agree with Dazai's self-perception. Perhaps most striking to me is how Comte seems to understand that the only threat Dazai poses is to himself...Sometimes it feels like, in the case of conditions like mental illness/depression/etc. people are so eager to assume ill will of a person. This is only exponentially compounded if they prove to have striking intelligence and strategic capacity, the same way Dazai does. I guess I can't help but appreciate that Comte knows the difference between strong and scared, and even how the lines between the two can and often do blur (perhaps best exemplified in his relationships with Jeanne and Dazai).

(Side note: I forgot which event it was but, one time when Dazai was homesick for cherry blossom watching, Comte had the entire house filled with flowers to cheer him up [insert ugly sobbing]).

For someone so enigmatic, evasive, and distant, Comte still notices instantly that Dazai is much, much happier with MC. I suppose it makes me wonder if Comte knew all along that Dazai's real wish was to be accepted and loved as he was, but kept quiet out of respect for his privacy. I would offer too that sometimes people need to realize these things on their own for the information to have value.

But what really gets my ass is what Comte says right after:

This is my bread and butter (so is he but that's not the point of this particular TED talk). In the last few years I've done a lot of exploratory work on how trauma is mapped both internally but also visibly on the body. What I think is engaging here is that, while it could be read on a surface level as "body language gives people's true intentions away" I don't think that's quite what he's getting at. Or perhaps better phrased, it's an oversimplification. I don't think it's that body language can't communicate real and important information about people's lives. Rather, that people associate rigid and absolutist interpretations to singular mannerisms, which does a disservice to both parties. Nobody can know a person at a glance; to say that you do reduces the lived reality of the opposite party.

Comte gives simple examples and couches his words for the context of the moment, but I think that first line is incredibly telling. "But the body is remarkably truthful." It makes me think of how, in moments where Comte is overcome with anxiety as a result of traumatic recurrence, he has acute panic attacks (i.e. shortened breath, racing heart, trembling). How Leonardo's lethargy (i.e. napping on the floor everywhere like the hobo he is) belies the reality of his very real exhaustion, the emotional turmoil that comes with a fraught immortal life.

Dazai's endless struggle with dissociation and self-harm, the way he stood in the rain unmoving at the thought of MC returning home to the modern era. Whether to numb himself from the pain of that grief/loneliness, or perhaps more likely the self-immolation of subjecting himself to the re-enactment of the most harrowing moment of his life. To relive that anguish as a reminder; to abstain from making the same mistake ever again. Jeanne's endless bodily tension, struggles with basic self-care (appears to be interoception-based; reduced signalling of the need to eat/rest/etc.), and self-isolation to cope in a world where only the strong survive. Never safe, always alone, always defensive.

I think, for many people in general but especially people who have been through intense PTSD/CPTSD/etc., it can be hard to express these feelings directly. Whether they are forcibly silenced, ridiculed into self-derision/self-concealment, or are overwhelmed by emotions that are difficult to process--each manifests itself in unconventional ways. It means a lot to me when those phenomena are portrayed so sensitively in written works/media, that they're explored with real intention and narrative subtlety to communicate how hard it is for people who are wounded or simply different (or both, as often is the case).

Addendum:

Even more than that, and this is an observation at the end of Dazai's route, is Comte's open belief that life is something to be cherished. Of course, like any other person he has behaviors he won't abide and people he doesn't feel partial to, but by and large he doesn't take life lightly. Perhaps that's why he doesn't expect Dazai to resort to such measures again, in conjunction with the circumstances of his transition. From an outsider perspective, I could see how Comte might assume Dazai no longer wishes for that if he seemed to regret his initial course of action by seeking resurrection. There is also the implication that Dazai is always at war with himself, and therefore might give contradictory impressions; one moment he wants to live, the next he doesn't. This is precisely what led him to ask Charles for help to subdue his own 'cowardice.' (His terms, not mine. [bonks him]) There is a sizeable subset of s-word survivors who, after recovery, feel that their problems were actually solvable despite their despair in the moment.

Of course, that doesn't apply to everyone, but I think there's something to be said of Comte feeling such real affection for the mansion boys that he is stricken to find out what Dazai attempted. And perhaps unsurprisingly, very adamant to keep him from ever pursuing such a course of action again. He's incredibly vulnerable about his horror that he might have inflicted something on Dazai that he never wanted in bringing him back, though Dazai comfortably refutes any lack of agency in the situation.

I guess I feel very compelled by the duality inherent in Comte's glass heart, precisely because of how realistic it feels. His greatest strength is his sensitivity, but it's also his greatest weakness in tandem. His genuine care for Dazai--the unwavering belief that his life is valuable and worthy--ends up being the reason he doesn't anticipate Dazai's rather deeply entrenched self-loathing. And to be honest, I'm a bit inclined to agree; looking back on a third reading Dazai feels way too hard on himself. It feels like the young girl's death was more a catalyst for what Dazai was already feeling, than anything. Dazai wanted so badly to have a reason to despise himself (as he already disliked how different and out of place he naturally felt) and with this, his self-reproach could have a viable, rational explanation. A locus outside of his body by which to rationalize his self-hatred. Accident or not becomes irrelevant; he was involved, and thus he is guilty.

He reminds me a lot of that post that was circulating once about how cultish behavior inculcates intelligent people with more devastating pull than one might expect, because intelligent people can more easily and more insistently find ways to desperately rationalize their situation to function in that whirlpool of abuse. Dazai feels like he's in this same such Catch-22, so busy believing he deserves to be scorned (because of how well he hides his perceived abnormalities) that he takes steps to ensure and reinforce it. He wants and needs to see his reality make sense, and if it won't answer his designs he will find a way to make it so.

It fascinates me because Dazai is an incredibly complex example of someone who desires control, but instead of inflicting it with external rapacity, he targets his own internal state. I once heard a Buddhist explain: yes, it is a sign of disturbance to engage with others aggressively and without grace. However, it is also a sign of disturbance when the mind seeks to harm one's own body. Although Dazai's disturbance is not as apparent, it is there. And that's part of what makes him so excruciatingly compelling to me, in a lot of ways he is the manifestation of the Sisyphean suffering of being ill in a quiet way. In enduring and smiling and laughing because you don't want to burden others--or know you're not allowed to--all while you slowly bleed from the inside out.

Hii! could I request ranpo with a fem or gn reader (you can choose) who is very similar to yukito ayatsuji, they/she has his smarts and the same ability (I was just very curious about how this would go, how would the agency members react to this relationship?) you can make it headcanons or a drabble either is good, if you don’t feel like writing this then you can just ignore this ask, I really like your works!

great minds think alike

synopsis - you seemed to be a hot topic among your lovers coworkers but you didn't mind

includes - ranpo ft agency members

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, wc - 888

a/n: hello! i loved this idea sm anon, i put a separate part for a few agency members underneath the divider!

↪how i had initially thought about this, was that you would be ayatsuji's twin, a rare occurrence where you both had also inhabited the same ability and not just looks and personality. or you were sort of an alternate universe where reader is in place of ayatsuji.

↪anyways- how you had met ranpo was a mystery, sure you two knew you had met but you both had been so integrated into the others life that imagining it without the other seemed impossible. therefore how you had met was forgotten but neither of you cared. but what was memorable was the defining point of your relationship where you two had become an official thing.

↪ranpo had always felt an attachment to you, the first person he had ever met that seemed to not only be on his level but to understand him properly. he felt he could connect with you, and thus he wanted to keep you close. not only as a friend, and eventually something more, but as a sort of rival.

↪and as for your ability, he found it intriguing. he thought it was the perfect balance of dangerous and useful and he knew you would have a great grasp on it, never using it more than necessary.

↪if you still held the job that ayatsuji wold normally work within, ranpo would think it was incredible. maybe he would even try to finish up work earlier to go join you, or asking to join you on your cases.

↪or maybe if you did work at the agency, he would be an extra show off. constantly wanting to work cases with you just to challenge you to see who could finish it faster. clinging to you during work just to emphasise how amazing he thought you were.

↪and to his fellow agency members they wanted to understand why ranpo held you with such high praise.

atsushi nakajima ★↷

↪if atsushi was to be honest, he thought you were really cool but your ability kind of scared him a bit. while he knew he had no reason to be scared, he wouldn't be affected by it and you wouldn't use it on him but he still found it kind of scary.

↪but otherwise he thought you were really cool. not only were you on the same level as ranpo, someone who he also looked up tp, but you had this charm to you that made him look up to you aswell.

↪he thought that you and ranpo were perfect for each other. he saw how ranpo had also seemed so enamored by you and if he was being honest when he saw you two working a case it did intimidate him a little bit.

osamu dazai ★↷

↪upon dazai first meeting you he was absolutely intrigued. he was so intrested in you for multiple reasons. thought your ability was so cool, a bit scary considering his track record but he just assumed it wouldn't work on him. fun fact, it does work on him and he can't nullify it.

↪because of the fact that ranpo held you in such high regard meant that he toi held you in high regard. he actually did kind of look up to ranpo, so anyone that received such praise from the detective was worthy of his aswell. and it definitely was warranted, he saw why ranpo was so attached to you.

↪and on top of that he thought you and ranpo were perfect for each other. albeot a slightly scary couple, due to both of your intellects and your ability. he pitied the people that had to face you both.

doppo kunikida ★↷

↪when he had first seen/met you, he was indifferent to you. sure there was a bit of intrigue as to why ranpo seemed so attached to you but he thought it was none of his business. your ability was quite scary to him, sure it was useful but in the wrong hands it could be so much worse. but he was thankful you were a responsible person.

↪sometimes it felt like he was staring at two carbon copies. he never imagined someone being so similar to ranpo yet so different, like two faces of the same coin. he did admire you himself eventually, but he was never honest about that.

↪he did also see why you and ranpo were a perfect pair. you seemed to almost balance each other out, to make the perfect pair. but he was never one to stuck his nose in other people's business, so he never really payed much attention to details of your relationship with his co-worker.

akiko yosano ★↷

↪yosano was hesitant with you at first, but after seeing how well you and ranpo had got along her doubt's went away. she thought your ability was pretty neat. other than that she didn't think twice about it.

↪throughout the time she was wary of you, she just simply observed you and ranpo. she swore that if you did anything to hurt him you wouldn't have quite the nice time. however you hadn't. and in fact she started seeing how perfect you were for ranpo. maybe you weren't that bad.

↪eventually she did agree that you and ranpo were truly a great pair. you were someone who could challenge ranpo, in friendly competition, and someone who managed to obtain his intrest.

First Meeting with Atsushi, Dazai, Chuuya and Ranpo (Part 1)

Soon: Kunikida, Akutagawa, and Ango (Part 2)

killing, explosion, stalking, mention of suicide, foul words, f!reader, fluff scenario

ngl you gotta be so fuckin' unlucky to meet them out of all the ppl u could've meet 💀

ps. this post and the next, next(2nd meeting) r connected obv, so some details will be kind of confusing

AtSUSHI

I'm walking up to one of the stores to buy something. I got in and picked up all the things I needed. There weren't a lot of people inside, but for some reason the moment I stepped inside I felt something is amiss and usually my gut feelings never gets wrong, so I'm confident that something is wrong and I've been trying to observe the surrounding—

“GET DOWN!” I shouted as loud as I can when I saw blinking in the upper corner of the store— just beside the CCTV camera and just like my hunch...

“AH!” A civilian screamed in shock. Something in that corner made an explosion, fortunately people who were left were already running out of the store before it exploded 1/3 of the store.

2 men came running towards the store, they introduced themselves as the Armed Detective Agency with their IDs. Though, to be honest I couldn't care less...

“Can you tell us what happened?” The boy with the er... unique? haircut asked.

“Boi, you have pretty uneven bangs”

“Oh? You thought so too” The boy wasn't offended but looks like he hears this on a daily basis. Though, I shouldn't have pointed that out.

“Oh, sorry I shouldn't have said that. Well, the CCTV camera is still working, it caught exactly what happened, it'd be better to ask the footage instead” They seemed confused.

“I made sure it wouldn't be damaged during the explosion, so that I wouldn't need to be interviewed” They said their appreciations and I said my goodbyes before going out.

OsaMUAH (DUHzai)

“Tell me... What do you know about that guy you're staring at?”

“Fuckin- Can you not talk to strangers such as me??” I got jumpscared by a guy who looked like a mummy... But hot though— priorities, anyways he's been following the guy who I have also been following, since he's the guy in my mission.

“You're with Ango aren't you” He wasn't even asking, that's a statement.

“And you're with ADA” I sighed my most tired one as this one seemed to be the most troublesome according to all the things I've heard about his glorious reputation before and after him joining the peaceful side.

“Look, you're prolly in a mission too about that guy, but my mission here is to gather informations about him, since he's one of our suspect so...” I observed his facial expression and ngl I enjoyed it more than I should've have.

“If you can exchange infos with me, I can let go of that guy for today and forget you ever followed that guy” I assumed he's also on a private matter with that guy and it seemed to be an important one considering it's only him investigating this.

“Hmm~” He gestured a thinking position. He looked at me again after 2 seconds.

“Commit a double suicide with me then it's a deal” Can I punch his pretty face?

“You can die alone” I retorted.

“Such harsh words from someone who's been enjoying herself while looking at my pretty face” I raised my eyebrow and made a disgusted face as a first response to that truthful claim.

“Fine” Was my second response.

ChūyUH

I walked in the elevator and pressed a floor. The elevator opened and I proceeded to go to our agency. Just as I was halfway of opening the door Kunikida spoke;

“Good morning, Y/N. Good timing I have work for you” I gave him my 'really?' face.

“It's not so 'good' morning anymore” I sighed before approaching Ranpo with his requested snacks, Ranpo hugged the paper bag full of calories.

“C'mon, it's just an errand, no serious cases” Supposedly easy tasks are always the dangerous ones and Atsushi can vouch me on that one.

“Yeah, sure” I strolled my way out off the building and walked my way to the location.

I'm supposed to meet a double agent who'll be delivering an important envelope to the agency by the request of the Special Division.

An 'errand' so to say.

I spotted a guy that matches the too detailed description of the double agent, so I started approaching him before a bullet head shot him. I wandered my eyes to locate the culprit and spotted the mafioso.

“Why kill him?” I asked since that guy wasn't even in the Port Mafia.

“Well, it was a request offered with a great sum of reward. Sorry to take your double agent” The last sentence was said sarcastically. He approached the now dead guy and tried looking for something.

“Looking for this?” I smirked while raising my hand with the envelope.

“How—” He tried to get it from me when I suddenly burned the envelope.

“Too bad, it's on Kunikida's table now” I can teleport any matter that I'm currently touching to places I've been.

“You could've saved that double agent if you wanted to, why didn't you?” He asked annoyingly.

“It wasn't in my task”

RUNpo

I spotted the crime scene I'm assigned with. I also spotted the infamous member of ADA. I walked my way closer to the detective.

“I'm from the Special Division, Y/N. I'm only here to collect a certain evidence” He's circling around the dead body like he's looking for something on the body.

“This case is under our agency. You'll have to wait until I close this case” He replied. I sighed mentally as I was hoping to finish this task as quickly as i can.

I waited at a nearby café, since I'm not about to stand under the burning sun for a long period of time.

8 minutes later I ate some of my words.

“You're already done??” I asked the agent who's now in front of me.

“Yeah. Is this the evidence you needed” He handed me the victim's phone.

“Thanks? How'd you know?”

“Buy me those cookies first” I was informed of his obsession to sweets and his amazing deduction skills, but I wasn't expecting him to solve it in less than 10 minutes.

He hugged the paper bag full of sweet pastries.

“You're under the Special Division-Tech. The victim had no other useful belonging with her in the crime scene other than her phone and wallet, you're not wearing any gloves and you chose to not watch over the crime scene in case the evidences get touched or go missing, so you're not here to collect any DNA nor did you need the contents inside the wallet. The phone gave away your position as a tech” He explained before walking away.

Father! Poe x Child!Reader + Uncle Figure! Ranpo x Child! Reader

Note: everything here is completely platonic, this is an incest-free blog

This lowkey leaned more towards Ranpo in the end than it did Poe and I’m kinda mad about it, but I’m also not because I love the ending.

Sorry if the case file is poorly done, I’m terrible at writing Murder mystery

I apologize in advance for the chaos that’s about to ensue

——————————————————————

““Dad! Are we there yet?” Asked an excited little girl. Her father sighed at his daughter’s question for the nth time as he walked up the stairs. Yes, Poe knew that (Reader) loves to see Ranpo, but sometimes she’s a bit too eager. As the dark-haired man opened the door to the Armed Detective Agency, he already saw his daughter hugging his rival. “Uncle Ranpo! I missed you so much!” Ranpo returned the hug, “me too, little detective” He then looked over at Poe and waved with full energy, “Hey Poe! How’s your new book coming along?”

(Reader) was eyeing one of Ranpo’s lollipops and asked, “Uncle Ranpo, can I please have a piece of candy?” Poe was about to intervene and tell (Reader) not to ask that every time they visit, but Ranpo had already pulled out like five other flavors, “This one tastes like grape and has gum in the center, then this one tastes like chocolate, this one tastes changes flavors the closer you get to the center.” “Can I have the flavor changing one?” Ranpo gave the 7 year old the sucker with a grin “Good choice little detective!” (Reader)’s eyes light up upon tasting the sucker, “It tastes like watermelon…” Ranpo grinned, “How could the greatest detective in Japan NOT be able to deduce your favorite flavor?” Ranpo would’ve had to be an idiot to not know. In the past few visits, the girl always opted for watermelon candies/flavored drinks and often sported watermelon slice decorated clothing/objects. Why? Only the girl herself can say.

After receiving her lollipop, our little reader decided that it was best to let Uncle Ranpo and Dad talk, so she began reading a small mystery children’s book Poe had made for her. “Oh hey, didn’t see ya come in, (Reader)” the voice was Yosano Akiko, the doctor of the Agency and also the Aunt figure to little (reader). Yosano began to converse with the reader, asking questions a normal protective, caring aunt would ask like how (reader) has been, if there are any boys she thinks are cute, what the name of the little shit who may/may not have hurt (reader) is, those questions. All the while, Poe is smiling softly because his daughter is happy and he’s sure he’ll beat Ranpo thi- “the killer is the girl in the red dress” deduced Ranpo “The newspapers gave it away, it was a good mystery though” Poe slumps in defeat and to worsen things, reader says “I told you he was gonna deduce it with that many clues, dad!” Poe turns his head towards his daughter to defend himself, “W-Well you’re 7!” “Even more reason to listen to my feedback.” Ranpo smiled at the two having such a healthy relationship.

A voice rang out “Hey Ranpo, why do you call her little detective?” It was a curious Atsushi who had watched everything unfold from beginning to end. This gave Ranpo a rather devious idea. He called the little girl over and immediately she asks, “Are you gonna use me to get the boring cases off of your plate again?” “You don’t want to show me how your deductive skills have improved since you last visited?” The little girl furrowed her brows, she knew her Uncle Ranpo was trying to manipulate her to take on a case. For as little as she’s allowed to interact with him, Dazai did teach her the basics of spotting manipulation. “I’ll give you more candy if you get it right~” …What’s a bit of manipulation if you can get food from it?

The girl took the file from Ranpo and carefully looked through the contents, asking about a word’s meaning here and there. After a couple minutes, (reader) looked up at Ranpo and Karl who sat on his head. “At first glance, it looks like the CEO, but it can’t be him because the glove brand he’s wearing is different from the evidence. Even if they were his, there’s no place he could’ve hid the second pair of gloves or any time to put them on. If you look at his assistant, he was at the scene when the cameras went out and wears the same brand of gloves as the evidence. As for the fingerprints on the murder weapon, that was blackmailing by the assistant. Sunken Twilight Corp. was avidly getting involved with black marketing before you guys beat the Guild, occasionally using their power to get gifteds for Francis, and if that got out, it would ruin the company name and the CEO would be reduced to nothing. He was forced to incriminate himself either way.” (Reader) said this with confidence and waited for Ranpo to say if she was right.

Yosano watched (reader) work with a gentle smile on her face, seeing a new detective in the making. Poe was not fazed by his daughter’s deductive abilities in the slightest, she was constantly asking him for new mystery books and even tried writing him one once (it was barely legible and very misleading because the clues pointed towards the victim instead of the actual killer😓). He was a bit concerned by her knowing the Guild’s doings with the black market when the only people who had met her from it were Steinbeck, Lovecraft, Louisa, Melville, and Twain.

Ranpo took one look at the contents of the file and confirmed the little detective’s claim. “Uncle Ranpo, you said you would give me candy if I was right. I want those watermelon gummies you gave me the last time me and Dad visited.” Demanded (reader) to her proud uncle. Ranpo went to his stash to get the gummies, but all Poe, Yosano, and Atsushi saw was a mini Ranpo. The man-child in question looked over at Atsushi after setting the gummies in front of (reader) and said smugly, “That’s why I call her little detective.”

As much fun as they were having, Poe knew that he and his child shouldn’t disrupt the detectives any further. He called out to her, “(reader), we should head back home before it gets dark. Say goodbye to everyone.” “Do we have to go?” Whined the little girl. The messy haired novelist sighed, she always gets like this when it’s time to leave, “Yes, it’s dangerous at night.” “But you have an ability to protect us!” “I can’t use my ability against every bad guy we encounter.” Ranpo chimed in, “Poe’s right, abilities aren’t supposed to be used so frequently. They should be used to achieve something good, like protecting someone or stopping evil people from destroying Yokohama.” (Reader) sighed in defeat, knowing she couldn’t beat both her dad and Uncle Ranpo. The 7 year old gave hugs and said her goodbyes before taking her dad’s hand and leaving the Armed Detective Agency for home, but not without stopping for dinner at Uzumaki Cafe!

By the time the three arrived back home, (reader) was rubbing her eyes and yawning. Poe took his daughter to her room and let her change into pajamas before returning to tuck her in, only to find the child asleep, cuddling the baby raccoon plushie in her raccoon onesie pjs. ‘She must’ve been exhausted from being at the Detective Agency today.’ Poe thought to himself as he tucked his adorable daughter under the covers. Karl hopped off Poe’s head and, without waking her up, joined (reader) in dreamland while Poe returned to his study feeling grateful for the wonderful family he’s been given.

This was entirely midnight inspiration, but I wholly believe this man would be a great father and Ranpo is the uncle-figure to our little reader.

@silverbladexyz

When your head's in the clouds (keep your feet on the ground) - Ranpo Edogawa x Reader

Also available on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45151330 Getting anything done in the Armed Detective Agency was a struggle sometimes. Case in point. Across the room where you were meant to be typing up a report on a case the agents had recently finished, Kunikida was yelling at Dazai for a slew of complaints that had been lobbied at him recently, apparently for trying to jump off a statue of a historical figure downtown, breaking it and coming out totally unscathed. Naomi was attached to Junichiro's back, cooing as he squirmed in embarrassment and tried in vain to shush her. Atsushi was flailing his hands and protesting some edgy comment Kyoka had probably made (you weren't really listening, you tended to zone out whenever she spoke). With all of it combined, you could barely hear yourself think, let alone write the damn report. Just hang on a bit longer til lunch. you thought, rubbing your temples, the beginnings of a headache blooming. You probably shouldn't have skipped breakfast, but Kunikida was a real stickler for punctuality and you couldn't always guarantee he'd be distracted by Dazai's antics to sneak in without him noticing. And you were running late that day after somehow sleeping in, breaking your favourite bag on the way in and a bunch of other stupid little mishaps, so you weren't in the best of moods.

As you waited for the noise to die down a bit so you could concentrate, your mind drifted to your current obsession - the crime thriller novel you've been reading. You were about halfway through it now and the urge to just whip it out and start reading it in the midst of all this chaos was all too tempting. You'd even brought it with you because you'd taken to wandering around with it in one hand. You were planning to get through more of it on your lunch break.

"You know, my snack drawer is looking pretty empty right about now...”

Your eyes flicked in the direction of the singsong voice. Ranpo perched himself on the edge of your desk and you hastily grabbed it before he ended up knocking it off like a cat would. You wouldn't put it past him.

"Somebody really needs to put a bell on you," you said, rolling your eyes. For somebody who spent most of his time either inhaling candy and never putting on an ounce of weight or sleeping all day, he could be sneaky when he wanted to. "You don't look busy," Ranpo continued, and there was that famous lack of tact of his. "Why don't you take over Kunikida's shopping? He's gonna be busy yelling at Dazai for a while so you might as well." You sighed, which you'd been doing a lot lately. If anybody else had walked up to you and said that, you would have asked them who the hell they thought they were, but it's Ranpo so you let it go because you know he doesn't mean anything by it.

“I’m busy, actually. I’m finishing up a report that’s due by the end of the week.” You told him, then smirked. “Last time I checked, you have working legs. Why don’t you go if your snacks are so important?” “No way! I’d get lost if I tried to find the supermarket all by myself!” Ranpo protested loudly and you marvelled that a twenty-six-year-old man could announce that so freely and confidently. “And anyway, you’re not busy at all – you haven’t typed anything for the last fifteen minutes. Either you’re already finished and just don’t feel like going or you aren’t done and don’t know what to write next so you’re stalling for time.” You’ve seen him do it many times, but you still couldn’t help but marvel at Ranpo’s galaxy brain. He got all that from merely listening for your typing? “I- wow.” You said, closing your mouth. “Okay, fine, you’re right, I am stuck.” “See?” Ranpo smirked. “If you go on a supply run, you’ll get to stretch your legs and can come back to your silly report later. Maybe it’ll give you some fresh ideas of what to write.” It’s sound logic, if a tad bit manipulative given Ranpo made it sound like such a chore a couple of seconds ago, but Yosano, who had also evidently grown weary of all the racket, chimes in. “You might as well go,” she said, shaking her head. “You know Ranpo won’t leave it alone until he gets his own way.” “Nope!” Ranpo admitted with a cheeky little smile that made Yosano smile in response. “If you hurry you can even get back in time to finish that dumb book you’ve been carting around everywhere, even if it’s so obvious who the killer is.” “Wha-?” you blurted out, glancing reflexively at your bag you’d dumped on your desk earlier, where sure enough, a corner of your book is poking out. “You haven’t read it, have you? So how could you-?” “I skimmed the back of it when you went to get a drink earlier,” Ranpo shrugged, and a bubble of relief welled up in your chest. So, he hadn’t actually read it, he was just being dismissive like he usually was when something didn’t interest him. And then he added, “But even so it’s pretty obvious the best friend has to be the killer.” Your mouth fell open. “What?!” you spluttered in disbelief. “That’s- you haven’t even read it! You just admitted as much!” “But the summary says the main character gets the phonecall when the best friend leaves the room to talk to someone on her phone, right?” Ranpo replied, pointing at you. “That gives her the perfect opportunity to overheard everything being said and rush back in when the main character sees what’s in the garden and screams. She has a watertight alibi because she didn’t leave the house the whole time, she was with the main character. Why else would the book even mention when the friend was doing at all?” You’re speechless. As much as you wanted to ignore him, throw his deductions to one side because there’s no way he could know that – the problem is that he can. And it all clicked into place. Every scene from the book was suddenly thrown into a completely different, sinister perspective. Every time the friend offered a shoulder to cry on or was mysteriously absent from the goings-on.

Mystery solved.

Anger boiled up in you, so fast it was like a geyser erupting. Perhaps it wasn’t just Ranpo’s words, maybe it was a culmination of things – stress, frustration, whatever, but it was just so…unfair. You’d been so exhausted the past couple of weeks, that book, the now ruined story, was one of the only things keeping you going. Reading it was your escape from all the annoyances of daily life and occasional dangerous threat that came part and parcel with working for the Armed Detective Agency. Being able to observe a world as a neutral third party, up close and personal with the problems but only as a puzzle to be solved? It’s a luxury that your job, your life, rarely afforded you.

And Ranpo, because he didn’t care, because he never thought about what he said before he just blurted out whatever he felt like, had ruined all of it in one fell swoop. All he cared about was waving his vast intellect around, careless as a madman with a gun. “What the fuck, Ranpo?!” you yelled at him. He had the nerve to look shocked, as well he might – nobody in the Armed Detective Agency ever yelled at Ranpo and the only person who ever scolded him was the president. Even Kunikida deferred to his intelligence and had given up trying to reign in any of his other behaviours. You’ve certainly never so much as raised your voice at him before, no matter how much of a brat he can be. But… “What?” Ranpo said, like he honestly had no idea why you were angry, like your rage had come in as quickly and inexplicably as a bolt of lightning in a clear sky. “I was – I was looking forward to finishing that!” you shouted, hating yourself for how ridiculous you sounded – it was just a book, for god’s sake, but somehow you felt like something had been torn away from you and you couldn’t control yourself. “And you fucking ruined it, you had to spoil it and you don’t even care! All you care about is your fucking candy! You just-“ You broke off just as abruptly, suddenly aware that if you kept yelling like this, you’d start crying and that’s the last thing you wanted. Instead, you just grabbed your bag and ran out of the office with an inarticulate, “Ugh!” of sheer frustration. Ranpo stared after you, his mouth slightly agape. Slowly he shut his mouth, and stood up from your desk, arms limp by his sides. “…I didn’t mean anything by it.” He muttered; more to himself than anyone else. “Was it really not obvious?” Yosano sighed. Your reaction had surprised her, true, and she had no doubt that once you had a little time to cool off, you’d come back and apologise for blowing up at Ranpo like that. It simply wasn’t done in the Armed Detective Agency – Ranpo was the reason it existed at all and everybody knew that. And she knew how fond you were of Ranpo, it was hard to stay angry with him for very long. But even so, she felt for you too. It may have seemed like a small thing, but sometimes it’s the small things that felt the biggest in that exact moment. “She’ll be back.” Yosano assured Ranpo, and he looked up at her. “But in the meantime, I have an idea…” ~ Your walk and subway ride to the supermarket was something of a fog to you – namely because you were so busy fuming to really concentrate on anything else. Arrogant, inconsiderate…manchild! You knew you were being ridiculous – it was just a book and your reaction was out of proportion to the situation. It was simply the straw that broke the camel’s back. But now you knew you’d go through the day feeling flat and defeated. Now you’d just go scrolling idly through your phone or something and curl up on your sofa once you got home, without anything to look forward to. You could watch TV or play games or something, but…it wasn’t quite the same. And you felt kind of stupid for not realising such an obvious twist that Ranpo had discerned merely from glancing at the fucking summary, for god’s sake. It's not his fault he’s a genius. You reminded yourself, arms wrapped around your middle in some fruitless attempt at self-soothing. But he still didn’t have to say anything. He could have just let me enjoy it. Arguing with yourself proved to be a waste of time, of course. As you walked around grabbing things you were pretty sure the Agency was running low on (it wasn’t a perfectly ordered list like Kunikida would have had, of course, but that was too damn bad), you knew you’d already lost most of your initial outrage. You’d have to go back to the Agency with your tail between your legs and apologise to Ranpo. You knew you wouldn’t get one back, because he likely didn’t think he’d done anything wrong, but you did still bad for hurting his feelings. When you got back to the Armed Detective Agency, you were surprised to see it mostly empty. Maybe a job had come up, or people had gone to lunch after you stormed off. You sighed. If that’s the case you wouldn’t be surprised On your desk was a parcel, wrapped in brown paper. Puzzled, you picked it up – you hadn’t expected any mail today and you didn’t usually get anything delivered to the Armed Detective Agency offices anyway, Dazai was horribly nosy and would badger you to tell him everything about any item you got. A brief thought flashed through your mind that it could be something dangerous, maybe sent from somebody in the Port Mafia, but you dismissed it just as quickly – why would they bother targeting you over someone who is a genuine threat to them? It made no sense, and you didn’t think it likely anybody would be able to sneak past both the CCTV, Dazai and Ranpo. Slowly, you tugged off the paper. It was a book. A gorgeous, sleek, heavy paperback book. The pages were so new they were almost blindingly white under the office lighting and the cover had pretty silver filigree around the border. Smoothing your fingertips over the cover, which depicted a woman standing under a street lamp, her profile in shadow, like she’d heard a noise and turned her head to look at it just as the photo was taken. You turned it over and read the synopsis. A crime thriller? Realisation dawned on you and your eyes widened. The door opened and the Tanizaki siblings, Yosano, Kenji and Ranpo all came in, chattering amongst themselves. Yosano and Kenji saw the shopping bags and approached you with a smile. “Hey! Sorry, did you just get back? We wanted to wait for you, but you were gone a little longer than expected. Here, we got you a bento,” Yosano said, rooting around in a bag of her own and handing it to you – it was still warm to the touch. “Thanks,” you said, smiling as you handed Kenji the bags, knowing he’d insist on taking them to the kitchen, and he went off with a happy grin to restock the cupboards. “Where’s Dazai and the others?” “They got a call about a disturbance downtown. They’ll be back later, I’d imagine,” Yosano said, wryly. “Assume this doesn’t have the Port Mafia’s dirty fingerprints on it.” “Right,” you said, but your eyes drifted over to Ranpo, who was already tearing open a bag of gummy bears Kenji must have passed him on his way to the kitchen. Yosano got the hint and excused herself to her clinic, saying she’d better have it ready for when Atsushi inevitably came back with some life-threatening injury. You picked up the book and, taking a deep breath, approached Ranpo at his desk. He pretended not to notice your footsteps until the last second, even though you could practically see his ears pricking up. “Ranpo?” “What is it?” Ranpo said, and though his tone was dismissive, there was a catch in his voice when he spoke. You wondered if it made you a pushover, but his studied attempt to appear unaffected by what happened earlier tugged at your heartstrings all the same. You smiled and leaned down, pressing a quick peck to his cheek, which was pleasantly warm against your lips. Ranpo’s head whipped around so he could stare at you, the sun catching his open eyes and making the green of his irises sparkle like broken glass. “Thank you.” You said, softly, the words only meant for him. You held out the book. “This looks amazing.” “Yeah, well, it should do. I’m the one who picked it out!” he said proudly, trying to play off the faint hint of a blush on his cheeks. “That’s a way better mystery, even I had to look at the first few chapters before I had it all worked out.” You stifled a laugh, imagining Ranpo standing around in a bookshop, holding a giant paperback in his hands and flipping casually through it like it was his own personal library. No doubt he inhaled a few muffins from the coffee shop upstairs while he was at it. “And I’m sorry about-“ you began, hurriedly, since you figured it’d be more awkward for you both to apologise with a room full of people earwigging, but Ranpo waved you off. “Nevermind that. Hey, come look at this new case I’m working on!” You smiled, knowing he’d already forgiven you – he didn’t show his own personal missions to just anyone, and sometimes when he did he’d abruptly dismiss you again once something occurred to him or he just decided he’d told you everything you needed to know. But listening to him talk about them was always fascinating, so, still clutching your new book, you sat down in a free chair and scooched closer. “Tell me all about it.”

ahhh not the other anon but i think i saw a rb of the post you’re talking abt. im fairly new to the fandom and am rlly like. beyond sick of this sort of discourse in other fandoms. like just block and move on if you find it icky. was just wondering if it was super common in bsd’s fandom? no pressure to answer at all <333

I prefer to stick to my curated fandom corner and only really browse the "bsd art" and "bsd fanart" tags these days for multiple reasons.

So in my experience, on tumblr, it's very rare. I block freely the occasional blog that makes a comment about "how gross" X or Y is in the tags, and people who try to start ship wars and other such incidents. Those tend to be isolated little haters with no etiquette, so it's pretty smooth sailing otherwise.

I have witnessed a few incidents though, here and outside, so unpleasantness under the cut:

On tumblr, I've seen some anonymous asks sent to shame people for reblogging art of a ship they thought was problematic (whether the reblogger liked the actual ship or not), and I've seen someone ask an artist if they "were pro or anti", also on anonymous (how brave). I can't even remember which was supposed to be bad in that case, just that it looked like an attempted public execution. But those were very few and far between.

I too often see "proshippers dni" when visiting a blog, but I try to give some leeway by assuming they simply don't want to see such content. When they add a "you're disgusting/kys" or something, I block and never worry about it again.

I know from participating in a few fandom events organized by twitter dwellers that they are way more likely to start fandom drama over "problematic" ships. I've been in an event where a mod shamed someone for mentioning a ship they deemed "problematic" (in the 18+ chat even), which the other mods dealt with when notified, but the harm had been done. I've stayed away from some fanzines/fan events because the rules included terms that were clearly aimed at shaming some ships in particular, by forbidding age gaps of more than 3 years in ships for example. I've been in an event that forbade any talk of any other ships that were not the main pair of the event to prevent drama of the sort.

But, I've also seen zines that proudly said they were not judging any ship or content whether for the zine or outside of it (tagged appropriately), and I know there's a zine being made right now that was set up only for "dead dove" type of content.

Any other incidents were weird little bubbles that went ignored and disappeared after a while (calling Sigma a minor), so those are the most notable things I've seen in the 3+ years I've been in this fandom as someone on tumblr. The fandom is much smaller here, it's calmer.

The most notable ship that gets bad treatment despite how vanilla it is is OdaxDazai, because they have a 4 year age gap and Dazai was 16 when they first met. That's it. Other ships deemed "problematic" are usually self-explanatory, with history of abuse, incestuous-ish, large age gaps, etc.

Covered eyes in BSD

I've seen a few people mention that covered eyes mean the person doesn't see the world clearly or lacks perspective. But I wanna take this one step further and say that these characters put effort into limiting their own perception of the world and themselves. Let me explain:

Firstly, we have mafia Dazai keeping one eye bandaged, even though, for all we know, he didn't need to because of a wound. Something I noticed as a cosplayer is that the longer I do that, the more I'm forced to turn inward towards myself, and I usually and up feeling quite dissociated from my surroundings - there's an obstacle that doesn't let me move beyond what's already there.

Mafia Dazai was described as a child trapped in an inescapable darkness beyond what anyone could see. He's cut off from the world, because no one can reach him. But he's also cut off from the world because he's cutting himself off even further. He joined the mafia thinking that getting closer to violence, surrounding himself with darkness even outside of that of his own mind, would maybe solve his desperation. For all we know, he's making himself live among toxic waste, in a bare container that no one would approach. Even there, Verlaine finds him sitting in utter darkness.

Oda also mentioned that, for anything he could be told, Dazai would have already prepared a counterargument to disprove it. Mafia Dazai is not susceptible to hope, to anything that might challenge his darkness, and he doesn't allow himself to be. He can't afford it - he thinks that the moment he dares want something, he will lose it. The thinks that being given a new perspective would only cause pain: darkness existing in the dark is more understandable, more congruent, than darkness seeing the light and being unable to reach it, unable to understand how those around him can. If those around him see him as the Demon Prodigy, and if trying to be something else will only highlight his emptiness and bring forth emotions he's never learned how to process, he's gonna commit to being the Demon Prodigy. So, he gives up trying to escape the darkness, and tries instead to make himself at home there.

There is also Kouyou, who, albeit in very different circumstances, chooses to keep herself in the dark as well. In contrary to Dazai, she did attempt to escape and failed, and it hurt. She's not being forced to stay in the mafia anymore, but does so anyway, because the pain of being there seems to her more bearable than the pain of seeing the light and then losing it. There is active participation on her part, and we can see that from how she tries to apply the same to Kyouka: there is urgency in how she tries to convince her to stay, because if Kyouka left and was happy, that would challenge her worldview, which she was not ready to challenge herself - she had to keep it intact.

Another character is Verlaine, whose right eye we don't see. The fact that he isn't human, that he will be lonely forever and that he should hate the world as an extension of the people who created him, is all he let guide his actions. No matter how much Rimbaud cared for him, he couldn't allow that to change how he thought of himself: as someone whose existence will never be understood, and as someone who should never have existed. Realising that he can't change his own nature, he perpetuates its consequences, rather than try to find companionship despite it.

Let's contrast Kouyou and Verlaine, for example, with Chuuya, who was also at one point forced to be in the mafia, and now chooses to himself. A difference between him and Kouyou is that, in his case, it's not a choice that he made by denying a part of himself. Even after Dazai essentially blackmailed him, he was ready to question his own skills as a leader and be open to learning from that "choice". Both of them choose to be there, but Chuuya's choice, at least in the present, seems to be less defensive, in the sense that it's based less on cognitive biases. That's not to say there aren't parts of himself that he doesn't want to look at, but being a mafia member isn't a result of those. And, contrary to Verlaine, his uncertainty about his nature made him do essentially the opposite: try to be among people instead of closing himself off in his suspected inhumanity.

Of course, I don't mean that these characters created their own pain. What brought them there does, in fact, exist. Verlaine really isn't human. Dazai was actually incomprehensible by others and trapped in his own mind. Kouyou did have a person she loved taken from her. All those things are true and it only makes sense for them to affect what someone can or can't let themselves see - it's what they thought they had to hang onto to keep going. I just wanted to comment on how I think there is effort on their part to keep their perspective limited, to maintain their constricted view of themselves and of the world and not let anything else in.

I'm tired, hold me (BSD Fanfic)

Silver, I know it isn't Christmas yet, but I am impatient and it's close enough LMAO

My first time writing daran, and it was fun. I definitely want to write them again at some point, but I hope I did them justice enough here!

Thanks for being a good friend~

===

Gift for @beastranpo, the overseer of all things daran.

Enjoy!

Edogawa Ranpo was arrogant, he was confident, he was proud, and his sense of justice was so skewed it had many wondering just why he was in the business of being a detective that was supposed to help people. Truly, Edogawa Ranpo was an enigma to those that didn’t know him, and he was also one to those that did—even to those that had known him for well over a decade, although they did have a better understanding of the man than most. But despite Edogawa Ranpo’s faults and quirks, he was still human and well…

… right now, the genius detective was sick.

Ranpo had, unfortunately, been caught in the rain that had hit Yokohama a few days ago while out on a case, and even though he’d returned to the office and drunk a copious amount of orange juice at Yosano’s urging, the detective hadn’t been able to escape the cold that befell him the very next day. And rather than rest at home, Ranpo chose to continue coming to the office, and refused to listen to any attempts to get him to go back to the dorms and rest, although he never gave a reason as to why he wanted to be at the office in the first place.

Regardless, all they could do really was wait and see what happened next.

Dazai watched from the comfort of his own desk, the one he was supposed to be doing paperwork at, but was instead watching his colleagues move about the office, as Ranpo once again, dozed off at his desk, head dipping towards his chest over and over until it finally settled there. This was the fourth time that day that Ranpo had fallen asleep, and while it was better than the coughing fits that’d been echoing throughout the office periodically, Ranpo certainly hadn’t fallen asleep in a comfortable position.

“Again, really?” A sigh from Kunikida beside him drew Dazai’s attention, and he let out a hum as his eyes slid over towards the man.

“Again, indeed.” Dazai commented, leaning forward to rest his head on his hand, eyes sliding back towards Ranpo’s sleeping form. He made a noise. “Ah, Kenji’s going to wake him this time.”

“Maybe Kenji will have better luck convincing Ranpo to go home.” Kunikida said, the both of them now watching—although Kunikida was still actively trying to complete his work—as Kenji approached Ranpo, and shook his shoulder until green eyes flew open and coughing broke the silence that had fallen over the room momentarily.

Dazai watched intensely as words were spoken between Kenji and Ranpo, although he couldn’t hear what was being said in the first place on account of being across the room, and with Kenji facing away from him, and Ranpo wearing a mask on his own face, he couldn’t even read lips to know what was being said. But he could still read body language, and with someone as expressive as Ranpo, that was more than enough. “I don’t think Kenji’s having much luck. Besides, didn’t the President try to send him home the last time Ranpo dozed off?”

“He did, and somehow Ranpo convinced him to let him stay.” Kunikida said, and then sighed. “I don’t understand why he wants to hang around when he’s not even doing any work. Surely being at home, in his own bed, would be much better than constantly falling asleep at his desk.”

“You were the first one to try and send him home, weren’t you?”

“Yes, and regrettably, I allowed him to win that argument. But I did manage to convince him to take some medicine.”

And that was big, convincing Ranpo to do something, even if it was as simple as taking medicine. The oldest member of the Agency was notorious for only doing what he wanted to do, regardless of who was at his feet, begging—unless you were a certain silver-haired swordsman, then Ranpo would do anything. Which was still a mystery to that day, although Dazai suspected it had to do with Ranpo’s… unknown past.

He says unknown, because for the most part, Ranpo’s life before the Agency was unknown, with only a select few people being privileged enough to know the truth and entirety of it.

And Dazai was one such person, but only after jumping through every hoop imaginable.

“I think I’ll give it a try. Maybe I’ll have better luck” Dazai flashed Kunikida a sly grin when the man looked at him incredulously, and he pushed his chair back, rising to cross the room. He didn’t wait to hear his colleague’s response, already focused on the man across the room who already looked two seconds away from falling asleep again.

Not a sound came from Dazai as he approached, sliding up until he could drape himself over the back of Ranpo’s chair, one hand coming to poke at the elder’s forehead. Ranpo’s face scrunched up in response, and his eyes opened just enough to look at Dazai before they slipped shut again, a groan escaping him. “Go away, and let me sleep.”

Dazai ignored the request, and moved to run his hand through Ranpo’s hair, allowing his face to soften a little when he relaxed into the touch. “No, I don’t think I will, because sleeping in your chair is going to make you sore, and while I love to hear you complain, neck pain from sleeping wrong isn’t one I do enjoy hearing.”

Ranpo let out a hum, and said nothing, just leaning into Dazai’s touch even more.

In response, Dazai trailed his hand from Ranpo’s hair down to his cheek, and tilted the other’s head up to look at him. Ranpo’s eyes were bright, as they usually were, but the fever that he was ailed by currently made them look even brighter than normal. And accompanied by the flushed cheeks that were peeking over the mask he wore; he truly looked the part of someone that was ill. Dazai pulled his hand back. “If you aren’t going to rest at home, at least go and sleep on the couch instead of your chair.”

“What, aren’t going to try and convince me to go home like everyone else is?” Ranpo grumbled, turning away from Dazai to stare at his desk.

“Now why would I do that?” Dazai raised his eyebrows in fake shock. “You’ve already said no to everyone else after all. I am merely compromising with you. You want to stay in the office, and we all want you to rest.”

For a long time, Ranpo stared at him, eyes narrowing as he thought over Dazai’s words. Just the fact that Ranpo was even considering his suggestion told Dazai that he’d won this fight, so he stepped around to the front of Ranpo’s chair and grabbed the detective’s hands, wrapping his own around them, tugging and squeezing until finally, Ranpo sighed and stood. “You’re so annoying. Why did I ever agree to date you.”

Dazai snorted at Ranpo’s words, and let go of one hand so that he could drag the detective over towards the couch. “Because you fell in love with my good looks, obviously. And am I really annoying, or is that just your inability to accept help from others talking?”

“I’m not going to answer that.” Ranpo huffed, and then broke out into a coughing fit that had him hunching over, clutching at his chest, which gave Dazai the opportunity to push Ranpo down onto the couch none too gently—although he did make sure that Ranpo stayed upright so that he didn’t choke as he coughed, because he wasn’t that mean. He did actually care. And when the coughing didn’t immediately let up, he put a hand to Ranpo’s back and moved it up and down to try and encourage him to breathe through the fit.

Eventually, the coughing died off, and Ranpo slumped against the back of the couch, looking even more exhausted than before. Ranpo’s eyes flicked up to look at Dazai, and in an unusually affectionate manner, reached out with his hands and made grabby motions towards him, which honestly, Dazai hadn’t expected. Although it wasn’t out of the norm for Ranpo to become a little clingy and affectionate whenever he was injured or sick, usually it was done in private, away from the prying eyes of their colleagues, so for him to be doing it in the middle of the work day, he had to be feeling awful.

So who was Dazai to begrudge him that comfort?

Removing his coat first, Dazai then sat on the couch beside Ranpo, and managed to count to four before Ranpo threw himself across his lap, curling up and burying his face into Dazai’s stomach. Dazai let a fond smile cross his face—only because Ranpo couldn’t see it from his current position—and reached down with one hand to run his hand through Ranpo’s hair, and used his other to drag his coat over Ranpo’s body so the other could use it as a makeshift blanket, which just made Ranpo cuddle even closer.

Dazai tugged lightly on a stray strand of black hair. “You know, if you wanted my attention, you could’ve just asked for it. I would’ve stayed home with you.”

Ranpo shrugged, and blinked tiredly up at him from where he was laying.

“Well.” Dazai moved back to smoothing Ranpo’s hair. “I say, you take a nap, and then we use your illness as an excuse for me to escort you home, and then we huddle up underneath your futon and call it a day. That sounds like a good idea if you ask me.”

Ranpo chuckled, and Dazai knew that if the other was in a much better condition, he would be rolling his eyes. “You’re just trying to escape work again, aren’t you?”

“Maybe I am, but are you going to refuse cuddles with me?”

“Hmmm… well you are warm, and I am quite cold right now.” Ranpo said.

Dazai rolled his eyes and shifted so that he was lying down on the couch, dragging Ranpo up until his head was resting on his chest. “Better?”

With one hand, Ranpo pulled Dazai’s coat around him tighter, and with the other, he wrapped it around Dazai’s waist and closed his eyes. “Much.”