#i think it could be both if we try hard enough!
Text
overworked
putellas!reader
r is struggling with being a full time student & playing for Barça, and being alexia putellas' sister. she turns to some unhealthy methods to cope, and her sister is not pleased when she finds out.
warnings: panic attacks, hospitalization, drug use [very mild]
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"Alexia," Olga murmured, shaking her girlfriend gently. The blonde only mumbled incoherently, rolling away from the disruptive sound of her girlfriend's voice, and tucking her head under her pillow.
"Alexia Putellas Segura," Olga repeated, yanking the pillow away.
"Hey! What do you want?" Alexia asked grumpily, glaring up at her girlfriend.
"I think your sister is still awake. I went to get water and her light was on."
Alexia sighed, running a hand over her face. "What time?"
"It's 3am."
"Hermanita loca," Alexia groaned, rolling off the side of the bed and directly onto the floor, before popping up and heading for the door.
"You are so dramatic." Olga sighed, rolling her eyes at her girlfriend's antics.
You'd lived with your sister for a while now; after signing with Barça, Alexia had convinced your mami that the best thing would be for you to live with her. Alexia could keep an eye on you, and Eli wouldn’t have to deal with the crazy schedule you had to follow.
Being a 20 year old playing for the best football club in the world, while simultaneously being a full time student was not easy. In fact, you were pretty sure it was slowly killing you.
You were, and always had been, a perfectionist. You weren't a quitter. In your family, you saw through your commitments. So, even though you were dead tired, stressed beyond belief, and barely keeping up with your coursework, you wouldn't give up. You wouldn't even drop a class. You were running yourself into the ground, and everyone around you could tell. Well, mostly everyone.
You'd heard Olga get up, and you knew her well enough to know that she had probably woken your sister to tell her that your light was on. Before she could come marching into your room and take your computer, you flicked the light off, shut your laptop, and burrowed under the covers.
Sure enough, your door creaked open a minute later, and your sister poked her head in, finding you 'asleep'. She knew you, though, too, and she didn't buy it for a second.
"Nice try." She said, voice just above a whisper. She moved towards your bed, flicking the light back on, and grabbing your laptop.
"Alexiaaaa," you complained, pretending she'd woken you. You squinted your eyes at her, removing the covers from your face, finding her staring at you with one eyebrow raised. You knew you were fucked, but you needed to get this essay done, tonight. The thought of adding it to tomorrow's to-do list made you want to cry.
"That was quite a performance." She opened the computer, where your essay was still pulled up, and looked at the document history.
"'Last edit made: 3 minutes ago'. Do you think I don't know all your tricks, nena?" Alexia teased, shutting the laptop again, and moving to get off the bed to leave the room with it. She caught your facial expression, though, and realized you were barely holding back tears.
"Hey," she said softly. "What is it? What's wrong?" Alexia took a seat back on the edge of the bed, brushing a piece of hair out of your face as you blinked hard, willing the tears away.
"Please give it back." You managed, gesturing towards your computer.
Alexia grew stern once more. "Nena. No. It's late, and you need sleep. This isn't healthy."
"I need to finish this essay, Alexia, please," you pleaded. You and your sister were similar, especially in that you were both very stubborn. The chance of either of you letting up was... low. Alexia held your computer, though, and therefore, held all the power.
"No. You can finish it tomorrow."
"I can't! We have training, and I have an essay to do for another class, and an exam to study for, and a presentation to start, and-"
"You are working yourself too hard, nena. None of those things are more important than sleep. You can turn in some things late, it won't kill you."
Unlike you, Alexia was not a perfectionist; at least not when it came to school. She tolerated it for as long as she had to, before putting all of her energy into football. It had paid off, but Alexia never understood your need to be a good student, to get the highest grade possible in everything.
This very distinct difference between the two of you often caused confusion on Alexia’s part, and frustration on yours. Alexia didn’t understand why you couldn’t just relax about school, and you didn’t understand how Alexia expected you to be okay with getting anything less than a perfect score.
“Alexia,” you began.
“No. Sleep.” Alexia insisted, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead before leaving your room, your computer held hostage in her arms. You waited until her footsteps faded down the hall before you grabbed your phone from the nightstand and opened up your essay. It wasn’t ideal, but it needed to be done. Sleep was the last thing on your mind.
You finished the essay an hour later, which gave you only 5 hours of sleep. Still, you’d trained with less sleep, and you probably would again.
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Being the sister of the best in the world wasn’t easy. Alba had been telling you that for years. Being the sister of the best in the world, and playing the same sport that she was the best at, though? That was a different kind of nightmare, one which you lived everyday.
Though the athleticism genes seemed to skip right over your middle sister, it was clear to everyone that from a young age that you were talented on the football pitch. The 10 year age gap between you and your sister meant that Alexia had always blurred the line between parent figure and sister. Once you got serious about football, Alexia made it her mission to make sure you were the best that you could be.
From extra training to talking about tactics while you were supposed to be studying for school, your sister had always made it clear to you that if you wanted football, school would have to come second. Your mami disagreed heavily, but no one on earth had the will to stop Alexia doing something she’d decided was important. And as her baby sister, you showing interest in following in her footsteps was the most important thing. Ever. She’d moved you in with her when you were 18, still playing on the Barça B team. It was because of your sister that you excelled enough there to move up to the first team by the time you were 19.
Your sister had been stunned when you told her you intended to attend university and get your degree while you continued your football career. For her, football was it. Football was everything. It was all she had ever wanted to do, and all she would ever want to do. For you, though, it was much more complicated. You loved football. And maybe you would have loved it as much as Alexia did, if it hadn’t been for your sister herself.
It was a combination of things that had begun to leech away your love for the game. It was the pressure Alexia put on you, for sure. The demand for perfection at all times, even if she told you that it was okay to make mistakes. It was the expectations inside of the team to be a mini Alexia, to take charge and be a leader even though you were much shyer and quieter than she was. Above all else, though, it was the feeling that nothing you would ever accomplish, no matter how hard you tried, how hard you pushed, would ever be enough. Alexia, the public, the team, the coaching staff, they all expected you to be a younger version of your sister. They expected you to do what she did, sooner than she’d done it, and better than she’d done it.
The pressure mounted. It built over several years, accumulating until you were 20 years old, and you weren’t even sure why you were still playing. You didn’t think you loved football anymore. You kept going because of Alexia, because you’d made commitments. But the truth was that you worked so hard in school because that was your safety net. It was your chance to do something that was your own, do something that Alexia hadn’t done first. It was a place where you were spared constant comparisons to your sister, a place where you felt like yourself, your own person.
You loved Ale; that wasn’t the issue. It was just that very accomplishment you had was tinged with it just not being as good as something your sister had done. And it felt like everything football related you would ever do would be overshadowed.
It felt like if you ever wanted to be something other than Alexia Putellas’ baby sister, you’d have to do it someplace else.
So it was a full workload of classes for you, on top of training with the team. On top of playing for the national team. Alexia didn’t understand why school was so important, no one did. But you were committed to having a back up plan. Football wasn’t your passion at the moment. So much of the joy you had while playing had drained away.
You couldn’t slow down with football, that was out of the question. And you couldn’t slow down with school, either, not if you wanted to graduate on time. Your only option was to push through.
It was inevitable, really, that you’d stumble, that it would all become too much. And inevitable that you’d break. You just couldn’t fathom what would come after that, so you plowed forward. Moved steadily ahead, towards the edge of a cliff. You didn’t know what awaited you at the bottom once you fell from the edge, but you were well past caring.
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Your sister always kept a close eye on you during training. She made sure you were hydrated enough, that you didn’t get overheated, that you weren’t doing anything to risk injury. Any hint of discomfort on your face had your sister yanking you off the pitch and dragging you inside to get evaluated.
No one could ever accuse Alexia of not caring.
Today, she noted that you looked preoccupied. And that you’d brought your phone into the gym with you, which in and of itself wasn’t odd. It was the way you were checking it obsessively in between reps that had Alexia slightly concerned. You weren’t talking to your friends the way you normally did, and just as Alexia had decided to put her foot down and pull you aside, you picked up your phone again.
This time, your face dropped, all the color draining out of your cheeks. Before Alexia could take even a step in your direction, you were slipping out of the gym, rushing into the locker room as you stared at something on your phone.
“What are you doing?” Alexia said, following you into the locker room.
“I- I got a grade back.” You told her.
“A grade?”
“On the exam from last week,” you whispered.
“Is it bad?” Alexia wondered, taking a few steps closer to you. Her mind flashed back to when she used to have to show Eli a bad grade she’d gotten on an exam during school. Normally, she’d slip her the paper and take off to hide in your room, because Eli didn’t like to yell in front of the baby. Alexia wondered if you were so upset because you were worried about her reaction.
“No Ale, I did well, that’s why I'm freaking out,” you snapped sarcastically, falling back down onto the bench as your chest heaved, hiding your face in your hands. “I can’t breathe.”
“Hermana?” Alexia asked, brow furrowing with concern as she looked at you.
“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” you repeated, your voice muffled by your hands.
“What is happening?” Alexia asked, her face clouded with concern as she sat down next to you. “Hermanita, tell me what is wrong.”
You thrust your phone into her hands. It took Alexia a moment to figure out what she was looking at, but then she saw the grade reflected back at her. It wasn’t bad by any means, but it wasn’t your usual perfect score.
“Nena, this isn’t bad,” she tried, but you pulled your hands away from your face to glare at her, barely able to form words.
“It’s- not good enough, Ale, I need to do bet-better than that, it’s not good enough,” you sobbed. Alexia couldn’t remember ever caring this much about a grade, but she knew how different you were from her, and she did her best to comfort you.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay nena,” she soothed, noticing Irene and Mapi walking in through the locker room door, looking concerned, but she couldn’t tear her focus away from you. You’d gone completely silent on her, the only sound you were making being a choked gasp as you tried to inhale enough air. “Nena?”
“Ale, help,” you cried, both of your trembling hands clawing at your chest. Your face was rapidly losing color and you looked completely dazed and completely petrified. Irene and Mapi moved closer, looking between the two of you.
“Hermana?” Alexia panicked. You shook your head, a few tears escaping. You swayed in your seat, tilting forward until you were half leaning on your sister, and gripped onto her shirt with your hands, desperate for some relief from the tidal wave of terror and panic rushing through you. “Nena, talk to me.” Alexia said, rubbing your back as she looked between her teammates.
“Can’t breathe,” you gasped, “chest hurts.”
Alexia froze, but Irene snapped into action.
“Mapi, call an ambulance.” She instructed. “Ale, let’s get her on the ground before she passes out.”
The world was swirling around you, nothing comprehensible. Before you knew it, you were laid on the floor of the locker room, your head resting in your sister’s lap as her hands anxiously fiddled with your hair. You could see her mouth moving, and you tried to force your ears to hear anything other than an echoing ring.
“You’re okay, nena. You’re okay, I’ve got you. You’re going to be just fine.”
You blinked, but when you opened your eyes next, you were moving through the halls of the Barça facility. You felt a bit like you were floating, and though there was a mask on your face that was forcing oxygen into you, it still didn’t feel like there was enough air on earth to fill your lungs.
You blinked again, and Alexia’s face was hovering over yours, along with the face of a stranger. You could hear a bit better now, and even as your eyes tried to shut, you did your best to listen before you drifted back off.
“-does she keep passing out?” That sounded like Alexia. Worried Alexia.
“A lack of oxygen, she’s breathing too rapidly. Every time she comes to, her heart rate picks up again.”
“Stay awake, please,” Alexia begged, the paramedic next to her forgotten as she glanced down and noticed your eyes were open.
And you wanted to, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t think, you couldn’t move, you couldn’t breathe. You were pretty sure you were dying, and the only thought you had was that at least the anxiety would finally stop.
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You were completely calm when you woke up. Sleepy beyond belief, and your body felt heavy, but you were calm. It was hard to peel your eyes open, and harder to try to move your hand to rub at your eyes.
You remembered what had happened, but you didn’t feel panicked like you normally did. The constant pulse of anxiety wasn’t running through you as it normally did, and though you couldn’t figure out why, you were relieved beyond belief.
“Hey,” Alexia whispered. She was sat at your bedside, cheeks alarmingly tearstained.
Your guard was up instantly, and your sister could tell. She desperately wanted to know what was happening to you, what had caused this, but she knew from the look on your face that you wouldn’t talk to her.
And that hurt more than she wanted to admit.
“I am going to go call Mami and tell her you are awake.” Alexia said, avoiding eye contact as she got up and left the room. You hadn’t realized Olga was standing against the wall until she moved, taking Alexia’s vacant seat. She gave you a soft smile.
“Hi.” You whispered.
“Hi.” She replied, taking your hand in hers.
“Was it a panic attack?”
“It was.” Olga nodded. “Has that happened before?”
“Never that bad.”
“You need to talk to someone. And it doesn’t have to be me or Ale, but something is going on. I don’t know what, but you need help.”
“I’m fine, Olga.” You said, biting your lip and looking away from the brunette. She sat silently for a minute.
“Alexia is not going to let this go. You know that. You terrified her today, and you know as well as I do that she would go to the ends of the earth to make sure you are okay. It doesn’t matter how much you pretend, nena. She sees right through you.” Olga said gently, falling quiet as your sister reentered the room.
You knew she was right. But like your sister, you were stubborn, too. And you wouldn’t make this easy.
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Three days and two painful therapy sessions later, you were dragged into a meeting to discuss your wellbeing. Your favorite topic.
The meeting really couldn’t have gone worse. The team psychologist, Ana, couldn’t say much because of confidentiality reasons, but she’d made it clear that if you kept going like this, panic attacks like you'd had the other day would keep happening. You were under a high amount of stress between school and football, and it was of her opinion that something needed to change.
Ana suggested you be benched for a few weeks, while you figured things out. She told Jona, and Alexia and Irene who were sitting in the meeting, that she didn’t think you were being honest with her, and that if you were going to get better, you needed to be.
You’d barely spoken during the meeting. Alexia did all the talking for you, and she managed to convince Ana not to bench you, not yet. You were given 2 weeks to get a better football-school balance, and to prove that you were mentally doing better. If your sister, Ana, and Jona felt that you weren’t improving after 2 weeks, you’d be benched.
You knew Alexia was upset when she ignored you the rest of the day. The entire training session, the entire drive home. Olga looked confused at the icy tension between the two of you as Alexia stormed into the house, turning to face you with a frustrated look on her face.
“Here is what we are going to do. I want you to drop a class, but you are not going to agree to that. So, you are going to put your computer in my room every night at 11pm. You will either finish your homework by then or it won’t get done. Either way, you will go to bed at 11. You will see the psychologist twice a week. You will come to me if you have any more panic attacks. We are fixing this before it goes any further, okay?”
She paused, raising her eyebrows at you.
“Okay.” You agreed. There was no arguing with your sister, and you knew it. You’d have to break the rules, rather than try to change them. Alexia was instantly suspicious how easily you’d agreed to her request.
“There is no option of you being benched, pequeña. Football comes first, before school, before everything. Do you understand?”
“I understand.”
“Good.” Alexia turned without another word, heading upstairs to take a shower. You avoided eye contact with Olga, as you slipped upstairs, too. You had a call to make.
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It was a bad idea. You knew it as soon as you bought the pills, but that didn’t stop you.
It was just a few. Just to get you through this upcoming round of exams and through football. You had to wait for Alexia and Olga to both fall asleep to get your computer out of their room. Once you finished your homework, it was normally around 3 or 4 and you were exhausted. You had to put your computer back, and then you could go to sleep. It wasn’t a sustainable routine, but it was your only choice. And the only way you knew how to accomplish it was to take the adderall you’d bought from a boy at school.
You couldn’t quit school. When football failed, or you quit, whichever came first, you needed to have a plan b. School was your plan b.
And you weren’t sure you wanted to quit football. You hadn’t decided yet. It was suffocating, playing in Alexia’s shadow, and you just weren’t sure how much more you could take. Quitting, though. You weren’t quite there yet.
You just had to keep going. Keep trying to balance both things, and not let anyone know how miserable you were. You didn’t really consider, very naively, that the pills would make everything worse.
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You took one for the first time the next evening after training.
The guilt that hit after you swallowed the pill was unbearable. You couldn't work, couldn’t get anything done. You curled up into a ball on your bed and let your thoughts run wild. All you could think was that you were risking everything; school, football, everything.
It was school or it was football, but you couldn’t have both. You were pretty sure of that now. Something had to change. You had to get rid of the pills, and you had to make a decision.
School or football.
Disappointing your sister, or never living up to her expectations.
And, ironically, the only person you could really turn to for help was Alexia
You couldn’t keep everything a secret anymore. And even though you were terrified of being honest with her, you knew you had no other choice.
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Alexia and Olga were lounging on the couch, Olga draped across your sister, when you walked in. Olga saw you first, sitting up slightly at the sight of the distressed look on your face. She nudged Alexia, who paused the TV and turned expectantly towards you, a frown tugging at her lips as she looked up at you.
“Pequeña-?” Alexia cut herself off when you took the plastic bag out of your pocket, the little blue pills clearly visible inside. You dropped it onto the table in front of her.
“I bought them from someone at school. It’s adderall. I didn’t take any. Get rid of them, please.” You said numbly, refusing to make eye contact with your sister, before turning and walking back out of the room.
Alexia and Olga sat in stunned silence for a minute, before the blonde slowly reached for the bag, picking it up gingerly and looking at the pills. Her expression quickly grew angry, and she moved to stand up from the couch and follow you up the stairs. Olga grabbed her arm, though, pulling her back down onto the couch.
“Ale, hold on.”
“She bought drugs, Olga. This could have ruined her career, gotten her kicked out of school, gotten her arrested. You cannot tell me not to yell at her,” Alexia complained, though she turned to Olga with an expectant expression on her face.
“She brought drugs, Alexia.” Olga repeated slowly. “Your perfect marks, perfect training schedule, perfectly behaved sister bought drugs to try to keep up with her school work. She is so stressed about getting everything done that she bought drugs. She didn’t take them, she gave them to you before she took them. This isn’t normal, Alexia, this is not a normal stress level for a 20 year old to have. Yelling at her is not going to make it better. Trust me, Ale, talk to her like she’s an adult.”
Alexia considered that, for a minute. It was worth a shot, she supposed. And she could always start yelling if she needed to.
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The softness of the knock on your door was almost unnerving. You’d expected Alexia to follow you up the stairs, shouting her head off. It had been a few minutes, though, and you’d only just heard her quiet footsteps coming up the stairs.
“Come in,” you called shakily.
Alexia walked in slowly, her every step measured. You could tell that she was trying to keep herself calm, which is more than you expected. More than you deserved.
Your sister didn’t speak as she came in, didn’t seem to know what to say. She just slid onto the floor next to you, seemingly stunned into silence.
“I fucked up.” You said after a minute. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw your sister nod slowly.
Very suddenly, she put a hand on your shoulder, forcefully turning you in her direction. Her eyes looked severe when you looked up at her, and all you wanted to do was cry and beg for her to forgive you.
“Hermanita. Did you take any of those pills?” Alexia asked, enunciating each word slowly. She was looking at you right in the eye, and you knew that if you lied, she’d be able to tell. You’d lied before, and you thought you’d be able to keep it going, but you couldn’t. All of a sudden, you felt like another lie might suffocate you.
“One.” You whispered, shutting your eyes tightly.
Alexia exhaled slowly. “When? Today?”
“Sí.” You told her, voice dripping with shame. You couldn't look at her. If she’d been disappointed in you before, you were sure the look on her face now would be something you couldn’t tolerate.
“You feel okay? No hives, no allergic reactions?”
“No, I’m fine.”
Alexia didn’t really feel like taking your word for it, evidently, and you felt her hand grip your chin and turn your face up towards her. She didn’t look as disappointed as you’d feared. She looked worried, and a bit lost as she inspected your face.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m… I am upset with you. This is just so unlike you, nena, and I am really worried. I don’t know how to help you.”
“I’m never going to do it again, Ale, I gave you all the pills, I swear.”
Alexia shook her head. “The pills are a problem, but something is going on with you to make you feel like you needed to do this, and I want to understand.”
“Nothing. It’s nothing, I was just stressed, it was a mistake and I won’t make it again.” You dismissed.
“It is not nothing!” Alexia shouted, seeing you wince and look away from her. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that yelling wasn’t the way to get you to talk to her. “It is not nothing. I am your sister, nena, you can tell me whatever is going on. I can help you. I can fix whatever isn’t okay, you just have to tell me.”
“Alexia, there is nothing to fix. Now please, I gave you the pills and I know I fucked up. There isn’t anything to talk about, just leave it alone.” You hated how much she was pushing. You’d prefer if she would just yell. Yelling, you could take. But honesty? And what would come with it? There was no chance on earth that Alexia would understand. She was Alexia, and you were just you. Her younger sister, who would never live up to her legacy, no matter how hard you tried.
“Leave it alone?!” Alexia yelled again, throwing her hands up in the air dramatically. She rose to her feet, beginning to pace, and you stood up too, crossing your arms defiantly across your chest. “You bought drugs at school, you took a pill that was not prescribed to you, you have been going crazy with anxiety, and I want to know why!”
“I told you, I was just stressed.” You said through clenched teeth, willing yourself not to rise to her level of anger, even though you wanted to. Why was she pushing so hard? Why did she care so much?
“This has to be more than just stress, pequeña! Doing things like this is not okay, you are not okay.”
“I’m fine.” You insisted.
“Stop lying to me!” Alexia yelled, ignoring the appearance of Olga in your doorway, even as she felt her girlfriend giving her a look that told her to calm down.
“Ale-” Olga began, but you cut her off.
“ I am doing the best that I can, I am doing everything I can to be good enough for you and for the team and for everyone, but none of it is ever enough!” You shouted, slamming your mouths shut when you felt like you’d said too much.
“This is about school, not football. No one is making you do school! This stress is your own doing, this pressure is coming from you, not anyone else. Drop a class, drop out for all I care. What you are doing to yourself is completely unnecessary.” Alexia said, completely and entirely confused as to just why school was so important to you. Important enough to risk everything.
“It is not unnecessary, Alexia. I need a backup plan, and school is my backup plan.”
“You have football, why do you need a backup plan?” Alexia scoffed, rolling her eyes at you in a way that made your body flame with rage.
“Maybe I don’t want football, Alexia. Maybe that’s not what I want anymore.”
Alexia stared at you, jaw dropped in shock. “What?” She whispered.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Olga step closer, but you willed yourself not to look at her. Olga was always more sympathetic than Ale, and you were pretty sure the look on her face would break you right now.
“I can’t do it anymore, Ale, I can’t,”
“You are 20! You are a baby! How could you want to quit, you have barely even gotten started!”
“You don’t understand what it’s like for me, Alexia.”
The blonde rolled her eyes. How could you say that? Of course she understood. “I do, nena, I understand better than anyone, but you cannot just give up because things are more difficult than you anticipated.”
“No. You don’t understand. Things aren’t more difficult than I anticipated, they are impossible. I am losing my mind, Ale, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t.”
“So you want to quit? All of it, everything you’ve worked for. Throw away everything I’ve done for you?”
“I don’t know, Ale. I just can’t do it like this anymore.”
Your sister didn’t understand. The anger on her face told you that, and you knew when she opened her mouth next, her words would hurt more than you thought possible.
“If you are quitting because it is hard, you are not the person I thought you were. Putellas’ don’t quit. I expected so much more from you.”
And even though you’d anticipated it, the words Alexia spit at you still felt like a bullet through the heart. Mostly because you were pretty sure she was right. You were a failure and a disappointment beyond comparison.
Your sister took a step back, and though her face remained hard, she was horrified at herself.
“Alexia, that is enough,” Olga snapped, walking to stand in between the two of you. She knew she’d stepped in too late but the roles of Alexia’s girlfriend and of someone who cared about you were difficult to balance.
“I’m going to Alba’s. I can’t be here right now. I’m sorry Alexia.” You rushed out of the room, leaving your sister frozen, in horror at her own words, behind you.
-------
When Alexia got to Alba’s, she could hear you from the hall. Your sister paused for a minute. She’d expected you to be angry, expected you to be telling Alba exactly what she’d said. She’d expected anger, and that wasn’t what she found.
Instead, she opened the door to Alba’s apartment quietly and stepped inside. You were curled up on the couch, your head in Alba’s lap as she soothingly ran her fingers through your hair.
“I-I’ve ruined everything,” you sobbed.
“No, hermanita.You made a mistake. Nothing is ruined.”
“She hates me now,” you continued, as if you hadn’t heard Alba speak at all.
“You need to breathe, cariño, you need to calm down.”
“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” you cried, before words became impossible and all you could do was cry.
Alba looked up, then, her face thunderous as she caught sight of her older sister. She shook her head, but Alexia’s eyes were only on you.
“Hermanita,” she whispered, cautiously walking closer to the sofa. You sat upright at the sound of your oldest sister’s voice, a downright terrified expression on your face. “I don’t hate you, nena. I could never hate you.”
Your face crumpled at her words, the last stable part of you collapsing.“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I can’t do this anymore, Ale, I can’t,”
“Alright, alright.” Alexia soothed, sitting down on the couch next to you.
“We’re gonna fix it, hermanita. Whatever is wrong, whatever you are struggling with, we are going to fix it.” Alba promised you, exchanging a look with her older sister. Alba was pretty furious with Alexia at the moment, but they knew they’d need each other to get you through this.The destroyed state you were in now, the things you’d been doing were all signs that you weren’t okay, and that you needed their help. They were determined to help you.
You sat in between your sisters, crying harder than you ever had before. You weren’t sure how everything had gotten so messed up. And you weren’t sure you knew how it could be fixed.
-------
Alexia and Alba had both decided that you should go back home, and get some rest.
Olga had been anxiously waiting for you both to return, having sent your sister after you almost as soon as you’d left the house. Neither you or Alexia had said much upon arriving back home. You’d been practically catatonic when you’d walked through the front door; cheeks tearstained, body slumped against your sister’s as she helped you into the house. You’d gone right up to bed, and Alexia had simply pulled Olga into a hug. All Ale had told her girlfriend was that she was going to sit you down tomorrow and get you to talk. She was going to figure out what was wrong. What had brought you to this point, why you’d been hiding things from her. She was going to get you to talk if she had to get down on her knees and beg.
Alexia had already texted Jona and told him neither of you would be in tomorrow, aside from a meeting with Ana that your sister had scheduled for the afternoon. If Alexia couldn’t get you talking, she hoped the therapist would. If that didn’t work, she’d call Eli. The only reason she hadn’t called her mami yet was because she knew how hard Eli would come down on you for the drugs, and on Alexia for not taking better care of you. And Alexia knew that each of you respectively carried enough shame for both of those things.
Your sister lay awake in her bed that night, trying to piece together what exactly was happening with you. It was like there was a big piece missing, and she couldn’t think her way through the problem no matter how hard she tried. She tossed and turned in her bed for at least an hour, fighting the urge to go check on you.
“Ale.” Olga whispered, having been woken up by her girlfriend's restlessness. She rolled onto her side and wrapped her arm around her girlfriend’s body.
Alexia sniffled. “Did I wake you?”
“No. I was thirsty.” Olga lied, sitting up to grab her water off her nightstand. “Worrying all night is not going to help your sister, baby.”
“Well, I can try.” Alexia said back, turning on her side to bury her face in Olga’s shirt. “I messed up. So badly. She wants to quit football, she brought drugs at school. She’s been miserable for so long and I didn’t know. I didn’t do anything about it.”
Olga ran her fingers through her girlfriend’s hair, thinking hard about what to say. “Amor, you can’t go back and change things. You can just try to be better for her.”
“What if I can’t be better? What if I’m just a bad sister? A bad person?”
“You aren’t either of those things, mi amor. A mistake doesn’t make you bad.”
“This is more than just one mistake. This is months of mistakes.”
Olga shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. She is your sister, and she adores you. Both of you will get past this. You love each other too much not to.”
Alexia sat with that for a moment. It was true. Even if she didn’t always act like it, even if she wasn’t the best at showing it. She loved you and Alba more than anything on earth. And she decided, then and there, that she wouldn’t ever stop trying to prove that to you.
------
Crying must have tired you out, because when you woke the next day, before even opening your eyes, you could tell it was late. Well past when Alexia would normally wake you up for training. Momentarily, you wondered if she’d gone without you. If she was upset. But then you recognized the soft touch of Alexia’s hand on your back, gently moving back and forth; her preferred way of waking you up. Alexia cherished her sleep, and because she assumed everyone else did too, she was careful to wake you up in the least jarring way possible.
You rolled over, clonking your head into her knee. Grumpily, you opened your eyes. Alexia was not in her training clothes. She was still in her pajamas, in fact, looking down at you nervously. You weren’t used to her being nervous to talk to you.
“Hola.” She greeted. “I woke you up because you never sleep this late, but if you are still tired, you can go back to sleep. We have an appointment with Ana at 2, and I was hoping we could talk before that, but we don’t have to. We can just-”
You cut off her rambling with a shake of your head, dragging your body into a sitting position. Your head was pounding, probably a combination of all the cry and dehydration.
“No, I’m okay. I’m up. We can talk. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
“Okay!” Alexia said much too quickly. She ruffled your hair awkwardly before turning and heading downstairs, looking back at you slumped in your bed at least 3 times.
When you appeared downstairs 5 minutes later, having made yourself look somewhat presentable, Alexia was sitting on the couch, anxiously bouncing her knee as she waited for you. She had her phone in her hand, and she was rapidly texting someone. Alba or Olga, you guessed. You carefully sat down on the couch a safe distance away from her, now feeling a bit nervous yourself.
You didn’t know what you were supposed to say. If being honest would make things better or worse. If things could really even get any worse.
“You wanted to talk.” You said after a minute, finally venturing a quick glance at your sister, who was looking expectantly at you.
“I want you to talk. And I want to listen.” Alexia said gently.
You thought for a moment, before shrugging. “What do you want me to talk about?”
The blonde took a deep breath. “Do you want to quit football?” She asked quietly, unable to hide the disappointment in her voice, no matter how hard she tried. She loved playing with you. It was her favorite thing.
You read her disappointment wrong, though, thinking she was disappointed in you, and you became slightly defensive, and slightly more tense. “Sometimes.”
Alexia fought the urge to respond to your hostility with her own. Instead, she kept her face soft and open. “Why do you want to quit? And why do you not want to quit?”
You shifted uncomfortably, fiddling with your fingers in your lap. Avoiding Ale’s gaze, you replied as honestly as you could. “I think I still love it, deep down. It just feels like it’s suffocating me right now. Draining all of my energy and all of my happiness. It’s really hard, Ale. I don’t know how to fix that.”
Nodding slowly, the blonde tried not to react to your words outwardly. “Can you tell me what is so hard? I have played for many years, nena, and I do not think I have ever struggled as much as you are struggling now. I don’t understand, but I want to.”
She was being sincere, you could tell. She genuinely did not understand what the issue was. It had never felt this difficult for her, not in this all consuming way. You wanted your sister to understand, but you didn’t want to hurt her. Explaining ran the risk of upsetting her, yet you knew you had no choice.
“You have played for many years, yes. But you have never played as Alexia Putellas’ younger sister. You have never played in the shadow of the greatest in the world, of your sister.”
Alexia inhaled sharply. “I make it hard? Being my sister makes it hard?” She asked, voice almost a whisper as she tried to fight back tears. This was her fault.
You nodded miserably. “I can’t go a day without being compared to you. Your talent, your leadership skills, everything. I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough… for you or for anyone else. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I will never be you, Ale. And that is what everyone wants me to be.”
Your sister shook her head frantically, scooching closer. “That’s not what I want, nena. You are one of my favorite people in the world. I don’t want you to be me, I want you to be you.”
“But I’m not good enough, Ale. Not for anyone. Being me isn’t good enough.” You cried, pulling your hand away from Alexia’s. You couldn’t even begin to consider that she was telling the truth.
“Yes it is, nena, and I am so sorry if I have made you feel like-”
“If? Alexia you have spent the past 2 years of my life pressuring me to be better, telling me to try harder and to push more. And so has everyone else.”
Your sister shook her head again, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into her, even as you tried to pull away. “I am so sorry, nena. So sorry. I thought you wanted it, as much as I wanted it for you.”
“I did want it.” You mumbled. “But I wanted you to just be my sister more.”
Alexia felt her heart shatter, but she fought against the tears welling in her eyes. “I am so sorry.” She repeated, shutting her eyes tightly as she rubbed your back. “ I… If you want to quit, I will support you. I won’t be disappointed in you, I will always support you. No matter what you do or don’t do, I will always be your sister. And you will always have me.”
“No, Ale, I don’t know that I want to quit, I just… I can’t do it anymore. Not like this. It’s too hard.” You sobbed, hiding your face in your sister’s shirt.
“Okay. Okay, cariño. We’ll figure it out, alright? We’ll figure it all out.” Alexia promised.
You hoped she was right.
--------
Therapy later that day was… alright. You broke down again, detailing your near constant anxiety and stress, and admitting to Ana that you’d bought adderall. You don’t quite remember what you said, honestly. It was a blur. You remembered crying, remembered holding Alexia’s hand. Explaining to her that you were so obsessed with school because you wanted to have something if football didn’t work. You never wanted to disappoint your family, Alexia most of all. Alexia had cried too. You remembered what she said clearly, and even now, three weeks later, you thought of her words.
“Hermanita, I don’t care if you are a footballer. I don’t care if you get a degree or get an impressive job. I don’t care what you do, as long as you are happy and healthy and okay. That is all that matters to me. And that is all that matters to Mami and Alba, too. I love you, nena. That is not conditional or dependent on anything.”
And she had proven that. She had been patient, kind, and thoughtful. Supportive. Even when you took three weeks off of football and school to get your anxiety under control. She was there through every sleepless night and every tear. Alexia was the reason you got through it, and she was the reason you made the decision you did.
-------
You’d waited a bit to tell her. You were always going to finish the season out with Barça, but it remained to be seen whether or not you’d continue after the season ended. Alexia had prepared herself for you not to continue. For you to tell her that this was it. She’d made her peace with that. She was wholly surprised, then, when you sat her down two nights before you were set to go back to training and told her your plans.
“I’m dropping out of school.” You said carefully, watching her reaction. She looked stunned.
“But I thought… you don’t have to do that for me, nena. I just want you to be happy.”
The thing was, you believed her. And that was why you wanted to play again.
“I know you do, Ale. I’m doing this for me. I love football. I’ve missed it these past few weeks, much more than I missed school. I didn’t really care about school, I just wanted to have something. If I couldn’t make you proud of me with football, I thought I could do it through school.”
“I am proud of you. So proud of you, because of football and completely separate from it.” Alexia insisted.
You nodded. “I know you are, and that’s why I want to play again. It doesn’t feel the same as before, like your love for me is riding on how well I perform. That wasn’t ever the case, and I know that now. You’ve made it really clear, Ale.”
“But your anxiety,”
“I was having a hard time because I was trying to do school full time and football. I’m already so much less stressed. The pressure feels less intense. It feels like football can be fun again.”
“You are sure about this?” Alexia asked, gripping tightly onto your hand. She didn't want a repeat of three weeks ago. And she didn’t want you to be unhappy.
“I promise, I’m sure. I want to play. And if that changes… I’ll tell you. I know I can trust you. I should have known that all along, and I didn’t, but I do now.”
“You can always trust me.” Alexia affirmed. “You are sure? You want to play?” She checked again, looking intently at your face, trying to tell if you were lying to make her happy.
“I want to play.” You promised.
Her neutral face transformed into a huge grin and she all but suffocated you in a bear hug.
“I love you so much, hermanita. And I would have understood if you wanted to quit, but I love playing with you and I am so, so happy.” She told you, rather vulnerably. “I’m going to be better. I am going to make sure no one puts too much pressure on you, especially me. I won’t mess up again, nena, I promise. I won’t ever let you think that I care more about football than about you.”
You buried your face in her shoulder, sniffling slightly. “I love you too.”
It wasn’t just about missing football. It was about knowing, really really knowing, that your performance wouldn’t change how your sister looked at you, or how your teammates looked at you. You’d spent the last three weeks learning from Ana to see yourself as a person separate from your abilities on the pitch. You were good and worthy of love no matter how you played. And with that weight off your shoulders, you knew you wouldn’t care as much about being in Alexia’s shadow. You could just be proud of her. And be proud of yourself. You hadn’t needed school the way you thought you did, and you hadn’t needed to quit football. You had just needed to be honest with your sister, and be a bit kinder to yourself.
The following season, you would play better than you ever had. You found your place on the pitch and within the team, and you set yourself aside as your own person. Even if you were known as a great footballer, you would still always be known as Alexia’s sister. And you didn’t want to change that, because it was your favorite thing to be.
--------
hope you enjoyed! ❤️
leave a comment if you want, they make me v happy! :)
#woso imagine#woso x reader#barcelona femeni x reader#woso one shot#woso fanfics#alexia putellas x reader#platonic reader#putellas!reader
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𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐄 | J.JK
— pairing | fem!oc x dealer!jjk
— summary | always giving out free shit to his favorite customer
— warning | bad writing (i’m doing my best)
smut, bickering, cussing, drugs🍃, plug jk, dirty talk, belittling, pussy eating, protected sex, porn making, friends with benefits(?), etc
— word count | 2.09k words
— song suggestion | everyday — ariana grande
“I can’t believe this man is really out here waiting outside like this.” Y/n groaned to herself.
She was meeting him once again for pre rolls, some dispos, and enough weed for her and her best friend.
Usually for anyone else it would be a bit strange for a plug to show up at their front door but Jungkook seemed very comfortable doing so.
Unluckily for her, she was very close to the plug.
He had been pulling up to her place everytime she wanted something. And he was more than happy to do it.
She was wearing a pink low cut top with a matching mini skirt. Her makeup was done up nice and her hair was curled to perfection.
She didn’t have much plans for the day. However, knowing that she was ordering from Jungkook, she knew she had to look somewhat presentable.
It’s not like she had to try too hard, she was gorgeous naturally. She had a body people would kill for and a face many would pay to even resemble.
“Hey mama.” The man bit his lip, checking her out at the doorstep.
“I don’t see anything.” Y/n looked at both of his hands and his front pockets. “Jungkook I swear if—“
“You’re already bugging.” Jungkook rolled his eyes. “I have it. A ‘hey’ would’ve been nice.” He stepped into her home.
“And it would’ve been nice to ask to come in.” She shut the door behind him.
“You’re so so pretty but your mouth—“ He exhaled. “You’re annoying.”
“Yet I’m your favoriteee customer.” She teased.
“Hell no. You’re not my favorite.” He shook his head, walking over to her counter, tossing everything he brought on there.
“Oh really?” She cocked her eyebrow. “You’re such a liar.”
“Psh- Why would I lie?” He looked over at her. “You’re honestly my least favorite.”
She could laugh. “Least favorite?”
“You heard me mama.” He shook his head. “You’re so annoying, rude, and you don’t even pay me.”
“I don’t pay you because you’re always tryna fuck.” She rolled her eyes at his insults.
“Trying to?” He laughed. “You act like I’m not successful every time.”
Wasn’t a lie. He was even laying it down when she didn’t order from him.
“You’re so annoying.” She groaned.
“I’m annoying? You texted me to drop off your shit and gave me attitude the second I came in!” He argued.
Also true.
That was their dynamic. Always having petty arguments as their way of flirting with each other. It was annoying but also very entertaining for the both of them.
“Oh my gosh. You’re already starting something.” She shook her head. “Go fucking change so we can watch a movie.”
“No way.” Jungkook fake gasped, touching his heart. “You’re letting me spend the night again mama? I’m so honored!”
“I hate you.”
༊—
“No way.” Jungkook’s jaw dropped at the sight of the scene on TV.
Jungkook and Y/n had been sharing a blunt on her couch and were heavily tuned into That 70s Show.
They had been watching the show together since the beginning of him coming over.
The two were cuddled up, Y/n stroking his hair as they watched the show.
It was the scene in which Jackie and Hyde had been secretly hooking up over the summer, and no one was as shocked as Jungkook.
Y/n had watched the series more than once, and seeing Jungkook’s reaction had her weak with laughter.
“That was so unexpected.” He announced. “But honestly, I’ve been thinking they looked good together.”
“Told you.” She shook her head.
“You didn’t tell me shit!” He turned over to her.
“Whatever.” She took another hit of the shared blunt.
“Pass it to me.”
“No.”
“Damnit woman.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “You’re so fucking irritating but you’re so hot.”
“Awe. You’re such a sweetheart.” She answered sarcastically.
“Keep fucking playing with me.” He stared her down. “Been giving me attitude all night. I’ll straighten that out so fast.”
“The fuck you will.” She replied with an attitude once again.
“Oh wow.” Jungkook turned his attention to the TV, chuckling to himself.
“Okay.” He rubbed behind his neck. “Put the blunt down.”
“But—“
“I said put it down. You got your high. Just being greedy.”
She obeyed him after noticing his demanding tone of voice. He grabbed her remote, turning up the TV.
“Kiss me baby” He leaned in, easily earning a kiss from her.
“Pretty lips.” He pulled away before grabbing the back of her neck with his tattooed hand, crashing her lips back onto his.
She kissed him back willfully, smacking her lips repeatedly against his.
“So pretty.” He mumbled against them. “But that mouth is disgusting. Gotta fix that.”
He spit in her mouth, going back in and kissing her more aggressively.
Moving the couch pillow behind her head, he laid her down on the furniture.
He slid up her skirt, moving her panties to the side with his teeth.
“Not even apologizing,” He made a ‘tsk’ sound with his mouth. “I got some for you.”
He used his left hand to grab onto her breast, and used his right hand to hold her hips down.
His face was immediately hovering her cunt. His mouth was already watering at the sight, spitting and drooling on it.
Although it made her feel good, eating pussy was one of Jungkook’s main sources of pleasure.
Especially hers.
He’s never craved something so badly.
They weren’t dating. They never discussed anything of the sort. They were young and didn’t want to waste time with the labels.
But he would be damned if he had to share this woman.
The two did have their rocky and dysfunctional relationship but he was very happy to be around her.
Always smirking to himself whenever she texted. Hoping she’d ask him to stay longer. Following her on his damn plug account.
He had some other customers that were attractive women, but from the beginning she’s been his favorite. No one else got all the perks like she did.
She was a whiny moaning mess. Jungkook hadn’t even tasted her yet.
“Jungkook, please.” She begged. “Can’t wait like this.”
"I know, baby, I know. It's been too long." He leans in, his breath ghosting over her skin for just a moment before his lips press against her clit.
Her legs immediately squirmed at the feel of his mouth. She could hardly move due to him holding her down.
Grinning, he moves his tongue around her clit, sucking and nibbling at it.
He moves one of his arms to keep her leg in place, while the other one moves upwards, slipping two fingers inside her.
"All that attitude for what?" He asks through muffled groans.
He smirks against her skin, moving his fingers in and out slowly. He starts flicking his tongue over her clit faster, adding a third finger as he matches the rhythm with his tongue.
“You’re bitching at me the moment I get through the damn door. Now look at you.” He chuckled against her clit. “Apologize.”
“I— mm— Fu— I’m”
“Can’t speak?” Jungkook suddenly stopped, pulling out his fingers and moving from her heat since he knew she was close.
“Jungkook!” She groaned. “You can’t do me like this right now.”
“I can’t?” He laughed. “Oh I can. You can give me attitude all damn day but you want me to reward you by letting you cum already?” He scoffed.
“Ugh!” She groaned in frustration.
“Turn around.” Jungkook was already tearing a condom open with his mouth. “Ass up face down.”
She got into position like ordered. Jungkook moved the hair from her face so he could have a better view of her.
“Oh fuck yes.” Jungkook had the sight of her ass all to himself. “Don’t even know how you made it fit in that tight little skirt.”
He was checking her out. He did this everytime. Her body was perfection and way better than any of the models he had seen on Instagram.
“Can you do me a favor mama?” He leaned forward, “I wanna to do something with you.”
“What is it?” She asked, desperate to get fucked already.
“Lemme record.” He tapped her ass, almost fainting at the recoil. “Please?”
“Yeah.” She reached over, grabbing her phone and handing it to him.
“My dirty girl.” He chuckled. “Knew you’d be down.” He took a hit of the dispo the two had on the couch.
He doesn't hesitate as he opens the camera app on her phone and starts recording. He positions himself behind her, lining his cock up with her entrance.
“Oh fuck.” He cussed as he slid in, the camera flash capturing their synchronized gasps as he slid inside her.
“Fuck, you have to watch this video later.” His mouth hung open at the sight.
“Mm— Jungkook” She hummed, “Fuck baby”
“Come on mama.” He slapped her ass. “Make this video good yeah? Bounce on this dick for me.”
She fucked herself on his cock, making her eyes rolled back with each bounce.
He grips her hips as he starts thrusting in and out of her, picking up the pace as he fucks her hard.
“Always so fucking tight” He groaned. “But you’re so fucking wet. How does that work?”
“Mm” She whined. “Jungkook you’re too fucking big.”
“You take it don’t you?” He slapped her ass. “So fucking pretty. Especially when you’re high.”
Her ass clapped against him, the sounds of her moans and her ass driving him off the edge.
They were panting, equally putting in the work to get each other off.
“Been dying to fuck you since you texted me this morning mama.” He spoke to her. “Huge tits, fat ass, and pretty face is just what I needed.”
She could cum with his words alone. She loved how he smoke to her and how vocal he was.
“Fuck” He groaned, pulling out with a loud ‘pop’ sound.
“Jungkook!” Y/n whined in irritation.
He stopped filming, shutting off the phone and tossing it to the side.
“Sorry mama. Gotta fuck you missionary.” He apologized, smacking her ass before flipping her over on her back. “Wanna cum while I look at your face.”
“Can I take it off mama?” Jungkook pouted cutely, pecking her cheek. “Pleaseee”
“No. I still don’t trust you.” Y/n shook her head. “Over here tryna bend the rules.”
She was very strict on Jungkook wearing a condom. She heard all sorts of rumors about the women he had been with and she was not taking any chances.
“I don’t know why. You know rumors aren’t always true.” He shook his head.
“Do you want pussy or not?” She threatened.
“Fine fine” He gave in.
He wanted her to know she was the only girl he was with but, it was too soon to deal with the sappy shit when all they were doing was fucking.
He slipped back in her, stretching her out once again.
He went back to his pace, snapping his hips inside of her while she arched her back at the impact.
Jungkook couldn’t stop staring at her breasts bouncing up and down as he fucked her.
His shaft throbs as he watches her come undone on his cock, tits bouncing wildly. He's almost there just from the sight.
“Mm fuck Jungkook.” She moaned out his name repeatedly.
Their energy was lower because of the weed but their sexual urges were at an all time high.
Jungkook reached over, circling over her clit with his thumb. “Feels good huh mama? You take it so good.”
He was growing closer to his edge.
The double stimulation with the weed still highly active in her system made her go insane.
“Look so fucking pretty like that baby.” He cooed. “My prettiest and favorite customer for sure.”
His thrusts become more frantic, his balls slapping against her ass with each one.
“Jungkook I’m— I need to cum” She whined desperately, barely able to let out a single sentence.
He rubbed her clit more intensely before she came all over his cock, panting at the aftershocks of her orgasm.
Jungkook came shortly after, pulling out pumping himself until he came all over her stomach.
The two panted together, staying still for a moment to catch their breaths.
“F-Fuck. I’ll clean us up.” He said, still trying to get to his breath.
“Let’s just run a shower.” She replied. “P-Please”
He agreed. He cleaned up what he could before the two stood up of her couch.
“So…” She trailed off. “You admitted I was your favorite customer.”
“Goddamnit Y/n.”
#bts smut#jungkook smut#jungkook fic recs#jungkook fiction#jjk x reader#jjk fanart#jjk smut#jjk x you#jeon jungkook#jeon jeongguk#jeongguk x reader#jeongguk smut#bts jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fluff#junkook x reader#jimin and jungkook#jungkook drug smut#jungkook#jeon jungkoooook#jeongguk fic#bts jeongguk#bts jimin#jimin bangtan#jeon jungguk#jeon jk
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one kiss is all it takes II Laura Freigang x Reader
masterlist I word count: 1616
a/n: Hi, it's inspired by the request here, we hope you enjoy it. <3
Home games in Frankfurt were always something special to you.
But then again, you would never complain about away games either. You knew your traveling fans could make any stadium feel like you were playing at home. You liked that it gave you a few days to only focus on the upcoming game and leave your worries back in Frankfurt.
At least you would be focused, if someone would not point their camera at you once again…
You lifted both your hands, trying to shield your face from being photographed.
“Laura, stop it.“, you groaned. Why did she always have to have that stupid camera with her, even on the pre-game walk?
The young midfielder slowly dropped her analog camera and caught up with you: “Come on, it’s just a photo.“
“You always say that and then I see my face all over your instagram photo dumb account!“, you rolled her eyes at her.
Laura shrugged, a slight crease appearing between her eyebrows: “They always look good so I don’t know why you’re complaining.“
“Good? Sure, Freigang.“, you replied while you continued to walk.
“It’s true. Ask the others.“
You sighed reluctantly before turning to Sara Doorsoun who walked right behind you. Knowing her, she probably had been listening to the whole conversation, so you only asked: “Sara, what do you think?“
The German defender smirked slightly: “With the amount of pictures she is taking of you, I’d say Lau has a crush on you.“
You could not stop the involuntary laughter that came out of your mouth: “Good joke, Sara. She does that with Syd and Klara too.“
“Sure.“, Sara answered, unconvinced.
“It’s true. You don’t have to sure me.“, you warned her.
“I’ll sure you until you see it too.“ She gently bumped her shoulder against yours.
“The only thing I see is that Lau is the most annoying person on the team.“, you commented, your gaze fixed on Laura who was already a few steps in front of your again and back to taking photos of her other teammates.
Sara raised one eyebrow as she looked at you: “You think Lau is the most annoying person on the team?“
“Yes.“
The defender grimaced upon your answer: “I feel like you don’t hang out enough with the youngsters.“
“I agree!“, Shekiera Martinez’ voice piped up right next to you. “You’re always the first one to leave any party or team event.“
“That’s not even true!“, you protested.
Nicole Anyomi, looking effortlessly cool as always, gave Sara a look: “Right, maybe Sara is even quicker now that she’s seeing someone again.“
Saras cheeks turned slightly red: “Rude!“
“She’s got a point.“, you agreed with the young striker.
“Maybe.“, Sara slowly admitted.
You felt bad for your friend, so you casually distracted from her: “Also, that’s not the topic right now.“
“Right, this is about Laura and you.”, Sophia Kleinherne reminded your temmates with a mischievous smile on her lips.
“No, this is about Laura being annoying with her stupid photos.”, you rolled your eyes at her. You loved your teammates, but sometimes you wished they would care more about themselves than others, especially in this situation.
“You’d miss something if she would just stop.”, Lara Prašnikar threw in with an amused twinkle in her eyes.
You let out a frustrated groan. Was this so hard for them to comprehend why you didn’t like what the blonde hobby photographer was doing.
“Not really. I like to keep my social media presence private, but she keeps posting me.”, you tried to explain your thoughts to the fellow players.
“Because she can’t stop thinking about you.”, Sara remarked, through the words her romantic being shone through which annoyed you even more.
“That’s stupid, Sara.”, you scoffed at her. Despite your protest, the sentence of the defender would haunt you through the day. Even when you laid down in the hotel room during the break, before you all would travel to the stadium. Could there be some truth to the older woman’s observation? She was never that far off when it came to love, except when it was her own heart which was so breakable unlike yours.
pictogangg why are you hiding your face, pretty girl? @y/n'sinstagramaccount
“Hi, y/n, did you see Lauras post?”, you shrieked while Barbara Dunst asked you this, you haven’t heard or seen her come into the room you shared.
“Yes, I did, Baba.”
“Don’t murder her before the game, okay?”, the Austrian joked laughing.
“Okay, but she needs to stop posting me with such captions. I’m serious.”, you sighed, pressing a white pillow to your chest to underline your frustration with Laura.
“Oh, everyone knows it’s just a joke.”, Barabara reassured you in a warm tone.
“I don’t like when people make fun of me.”, your mouth was formed to a pout.
“She’s not making fun of you.”, she disagreed seriously.
“What do you mean?”, you looked at her in honest curiosity.
“It’s just teasing. She’s waiting for a reaction.”, the midfielder told you in a matter-of-factly voice.
“Isn’t me being annoyed reaction enough?”, you wanted to know from your teammate who was a good friend of the woman who loved taking photos of you whenever she could.
“You mean the one where you’re pouting and ignoring her? No.”, Barbara shook her head.
“Oh.”
“But that’s something for after the game. Want to go and grab a coffee from downstairs, before we go to the stadium.”, the Austrian changed the topic cheerfully.
“I do.”, you told her while she was already on the way to the door, leaving no further room to think about what Laura exactly was waiting for.
Frankfurt won their away game with a hard-fought 1:0. You were relieved that you got the three points because it meant that you secured your spot as the third in the league and in the Champions League qualification. From the way your teammates celebrated around you, you could tell they felt the same way.
As you watched on, Lauras face appeared in front of you. A few stray hairs had escaped her slicked back ponytail during the game.
“Y/n? Good game.”
“Thanks.”, you replied politely.
It was clear to you that the midfielder was not yet done talking, so you waited for her to continue.
Laura took a deep breath: “Also I deleted all the pictures of you on my instagram account as you didn't seem to enjoy them.”
This revelation took you by surprise: “All of them?”
“Yes, I thought that's what you wanted all along.”
“I did. But all of that seems a bit… drastic, don't you think?”, you asked, trying to put your confusion into words.
“No. See you, y/n.”, Laura replied and turned around to leave.
Surprised, you watched her for a moment before you called after her: “Laura.”
The midfielder stopped in her tracks, looking back at you: “What?”
You bridged the gap between the two of you. The things your teammates told you were circulating in your brain.
You gathered all your courage and said: “If you like me, just say that.”
Lauras eyes widened for a second before she admitted: “I wanted to kiss you the whole season… when I scored against Barca, at every team event, when we secured the third place today… but I guess I've to accept that you don't feel the same so deleting the pictures was the first step.”
You were taken aback by her reply. There were a million things you wanted to say but what came out first was: “You should have said something instead of taking these stupid photos.”
“I hoped that way you would notice the person behind the camera.” Laura bit her lip subconsciously.
“I only noticed how much I hate being photographed!”
Your teammate studied your face: “I don't get why. You're just so beautiful and interesting. I love capturing you on film.”
You could feel the heat rise in your cheeks: “Just don't, Laura.”
She nodded slowly: “Okay, I‘ll respect that in the future.”
For a moment, you did not know what to say. She looked beautiful, standing in front of you and apologizing.
“And maybe I'll make an exception for you sometimes. Maybe.”
“Wait, what?” Her eyes immediately brightened.
“I do like a few photos to be honest. They carry some memories.”, you admitted with a shrug.
“Do you have any favourites.”, Laura asked in a genuinely interested tone.
“Laura, I don’t want to talk about the stupid photos right now.”, you groaned, hiding the face in your hand.
“What do you want to talk about instead?”, the blonde responded.
“This is why I hate it. You’re always busy with photography and never focus on the moment.”, you told her frustrated, you never felt the gap between you both by two years, you’re being the older more than in this moment.
“I guess there’s a truth to your words, but when all is over, I want to remember everything and pictures help with that.”, she confessed passionately.
“Can you just shut up and kiss me already.”, you begged her, at this point your patience has been gone, leaving only the yearning for the younger player to touch you.
Much to your surprise Laura did stop talking immediately and pressed her lips on yours, giving you a heartfelt kiss making sure you both would never forget the first one. Little did you know that a lot of firsts would follow afterwards. For now, all you and her did was enjoying the moment.
The first kiss would be one of your favourite memories. In your mind it was like a framed picture, you’d come to love to look at especially on bad days.
pictures are from pinterest.
#laura freigang#laura freigang x reader#laura freigang imagine#woso#woso community#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso oneshot#woso one shot#eintracht frankfurt frauen#dfb frauen#gerwnt#sara doorsoun
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˗ˋ where’s the trophy? he just comes running over to me ˊ˗
warnings: literally none, this is tooth-rotting fluff
pairing: luke castellan x daughter of demeter
summary: the three times luke knew he was in love with you and the one time he told you
1. your beautiful eyes stare right into my eyes
trying to pretend your best friend (aka your crush) wasn’t staring at you was almost impossible. it was even more difficult when he was sitting directly next to you, and you couldn’t help the pink hue making its way to your cheeks
you thought he wouldn’t notice because the sun had set and the only lights were the moon and the fire in front of you
but he did.
“what’re you thinking about?” luke asks, nudging your shoulder with his own
“nothing, just watching the stars” you quickly pull you gaze down from the sky to the boy beside you
“are you in love with them?” he teases
“shut up” you laugh
“well why are you blushing? do you have a crush?” he pokes your cheeks, but you slap his hand away
“I’m not blushing, it’s just hot” you make up an excuse
“it’s cold outside” he stated
“I have a sweatshirt on, einstein” you roll your eyes
“then why are you still wearing it?” he inquired, giving you a confused look
“It smells like you, I like it” you bite your bottom lip
and know it’s lukes turn to blush
“are you in love?” you joked
but he knew the answer to it. the real answer, he was in love, so so deep, and he wanted to tell you since the first day your gaze met his but he didn’t want to risk a perfect friendship, so he stayed silent, hoping one day you would realize how much he truly loved you
“possibly”
2. so make the friendship bracelets
you had spent the past hour trying to make this bracelet perfect. you wanted to make it for luke for no specific reason, at first you were doing it because you were bored, but as more time passed you thought you should make it for someone else
and who’s better to make it for than your best friend?
“hey flower, what’re you up to? I haven’t seen you all day”
speaking of
he takes a seat beside you on the grass
“I’ve been busy” you say, not taking your eyes off the bracelet as you finish tying it up
“did you eat today? you weren’t at breakfast” he questions
“no, skipped. wanted to make a bracelet,” you take his arm and slid the bracelet around his wrist, “for you”
you look up at him only to find him already looking at you with the most lovestruck expression ever, and you blush madly at this
“It’s beautiful” he whispers, not once looking down at the bracelet
and oh gods you could have passed out right there
and as for luke, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, no matter how hard he tried (which wasn’t very hard, he wishes he could stare at you for the rest of eternity) his eyes were permanently glued to yours
3. I’m sinking, our fingers entwined
counselor duties had been called off for the day and you thanked the gods for that, these kids are absolutely exhausting
you walk over to the nearest tree and lean against it for a moment, taking a moment to breath
“hey stranger”
oh that voice
“hi luke” you beam
“what’re you doing here? you don’t want the harpies to get you, do you?” he teases
“you’re out here too” you point out
he shrugs, “c’mon I’ll walk you back to your cabin”
he holds out his hand for you and you take it without hesitation.
It’s so warm is the first thing you think. it’s comforting, and you wish his hand could always be intertwined with yours
and of course, luke thinks the same. he could die happy if his last moments were spent holding your hand.
the walk back to your cabin was silent, but not awkward, you both enjoyed just being in each other’s presences, even if that mean you weren’t talking
this was enough
“here we are” he remarked
“yep… I’ll see you in the morning?” you ask
“always” luke smiles and gives you that same lovesick expression he always does
and you can’t fight the large grin making its way to your face, “goodnight luke” you whisper
“goodnight flower”
and he doesn’t untangle his fingers from yours until he’s to far from you to touch them
4. the sign on your heart said it’s still reserved for me
you weren’t the biggest fan of capture the flag, but you knew it always made luke happy when you did
so you played
the majority of the game you sat and watched, looking out for anyone on the opposing team until you heard horns, signaling that the game was over
you quickly sit up, running to wear you hear cheers, hoping it’s from your team
and it is.
you reach the crowd, eyes meeting the chocolate brown ones you loved
you reach luke, swiftly throwing your arms around his neck, and he wastes no time in dropping the flag, putting his arms around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer
“I’m proud of you” you say pulling away, arms still around each other
luke is wishes he knew where this confidence came from, but seeing you so close to him, a large smile on your face, and the save lovesick expression he always gives you in your eyes this time, he can’t wait any longer
“I’m in love with you” he blurts out
your eyes widen at those words, and you stay like that for a moment, but you knew this, didn’t you? you always saw it in his eyes
and you pull him in for a sweet, long-awaited kiss
it was as perfect as you imagined, the kiss, the boy, the moment, everything
#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo series#pjo tv show#pjo fandom#percy jackson#pjo#pjo spoilers#percy series#pjo disney+#luke castellan#pjo fanfic#pjo x reader#pjo hoo toa#luke castellan x you#luke castellan fluff#luke castellan fic#luke castellan x reader
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Fishing trip
I was looking forward to this trip for months. The four of us had rented this cabin. Well not sure you can call it a cabin. Four bedroom two floor, huge porch, balcony over looking a pool. Set on a hill over looking a lake. We had use of a fishing boat. And ATVs not to mention the streams and river near by. The weather was going to be perfect. I was packed and set to leave. When tragedy struck. The deal I had been working on, my huge bonus to close the deal. Went sideways I could fix this but it meant a trip to Cincinnati.
I called Walt, Pete and George and broke the news. Maybe I could meet them later in the week. After some teasing on how at least I wouldn't scare the fish they all understood and hoped to meet me there.
Phoebe , my wife of 15 years. drove me to the airport the next morning, she had already planned on me being away. Where I went didn't really matter. I was kinda complaining about missing the trip the money already spent.
"Maybe I will go so it's not a waste" Phoebe told me. She hated fishing.
"And do what?" I said knowing she was just trying to make me feel better.
"Sit by the pool, kyack, walks in the wood" she told me. As I kissed her goodbye. My flight being called.
"Go then have fun with three guys who smell like fish" I said jokingly.
"Okay I will" she told me in defiance of my joking. I didn't think about it again. Till I had already landed met with the clients lawyers and checked into my hotel. When I read a text.
"Cells are spotty at the lake, George is driving me" the text read as she showed me a pic of her loading her stuff in his SUV. I called her they where still on the road.
"Hello sweety, you're on speaker " she sang.
"You really are going fishing" I laughed.
"She promised to cook, buddy" I heard Walt say. They where driving up together. Pete was going to meet them there. After a brief conversation of their plans she took me off speaker.
"Hurry up if you can, miss you already" Pheobe told me and hung up.
I spent the next three days talking them out of walking away from the contract. And two more writing changes to a new one.
Phoebe
We arrived at the cabin after midnight. I was still wide awake from too much coffee or general curiosity. Went exploring. The guys gave me the master bedroom saying I should have the private bathroom. I went to shower and couldn't figure out how the shower worked. It was one of those showers with all kinds of different showerheads. I went to the bedroom door.
"Hey guys, can someone help me" I called out Walt appeared.
"Um I can't figure out the shower" I said fully aware I stood in front of him in nothing but a towel. Walt ever the perfect gentleman. Went to investigate. He gave me a quick explanation. But as he went to leave he paused for a brief moment. It was nothing.
"What?" I asked.
"Sorry never knew you had a tattoo" he said excusing himself.
"OH, here it goes up" I raised my towel to show him the tattoo on my thigh of a dragon and unicorn some thought they where locked in an epic battle. I thought of it as both sides of my personality. But as I did my towel slipped and exposed my breasts.
"Sorry, I should" Walt said. I grabbed his shoulder to steady myself as I grasped the towel. He took it differently. He turned and pulled me into his arms. I should of pushed him away. I wanted to.
But I looked up into his deep brown eyes, he was a very handsome man. White hair sprinkled in his beard. Contrast to his ebony bald head. His body hard from a life time of hard work. He stood alot taller then Paul. I let the towel fall. His huge hands grasped my breasts. My c cups still not big enough to fill them. He kissed me. Then stopped
"Nothing has happened yet" he told me. I jumped into his arms and he carried me to the bed. I watched as he shed his clothes. His cock. My God I had never. It jutted out from his body, Paul's always pointed up. But I think the sheer size of Walt didn't allow that. He must be twice my husband I thought. As he climbed on top of me.
"Go slow, you are so much bigger" I pleaded. Despite his strength he was gentle and carresed my body. He didn't fuck me he made love to me. I came twice. Loudly as he did. We laid there in the afterglow. I admired his tattoos.
"I love my husband" I shared.
"Paul is great. Let's just call this a fling" he told me. As he held me tight I fell asleep. I woke and took that shower finally. It was already 10am the guys where gone. I figured out early.
I put on a bikini and laid out by the pool. It was mid afternoon, when I put down my book. Romance smut I thought after reading a well description of sex. I thought about Walt. I was alone the sun warming me. My fingers slid under my suit and I was soon rubbing my clit. Suddenly I opened my eyes to see Pete standing there watching me.
"Pete, I " I turned beet red. He sat at my feet. He rubbed my feet
"Don't stop on my account" he smiled. I couldn't I mean I had fucked Walt last night. I thought back to a time in collage when I had allowed 5 guys to gang bangs me. I pulled my bottom down exposing myself and started to masterbate. I felt Pete kiss my thigh higher and higher. Soon he pulled off my bikini and was sucking my clit. I wanted him I pulled his hair pulling him on top of me. He smelled of sweat and push. As I tried to tear his clothes off of him. Pete took his time. He liked to tease me. Get me close then stop. He even worked two fingers in my ass. He offered me his cock to suck. As much as he teased me it was like a present. I sucked it down my throat, he wasnt hss big and think as Walt but still bigger then Paul. But before he came he pulled out. And slid it into my very wet cunt. It didn't take long for me to dig my nails into his back as we came together. I didn't want to let him go but we heard the ATVs co,ING back. I jumped in the pool and fixed my suit as Pete vanished into the house.
In less then 24 hours I had fucked two of my husband's friends and cum more then I had in a year. I knew Pete was married. His wife and I friends but I hadn't cared. Later that night I sought out George.
George was funny, probably Paul's best friend. I found him in the hot tub.
"I am sure Walt and Pete" I said.
"Well Pete has a big mouth" George said. I looked at him and removed my robe. I was naked as I got in the hot tub.
"You are a nasty little mink" he told me. He pulled me onto his lap.
"Have you and Cindy ever talked about" he asked me. He pinched my nipples. Cindy was his long term girlfriend. They had been together for years.
"No" I moaned. He pushed me up and bent me over the edge of the hot tub. Without warning he drove his cock balls deep into my pussy. He fucked me like a man just out of prison. He pulled out and spun me just to cum on my face. Then shoved his cock innmy mouth. As I sucked him hard again.
"I am going to take that ass" he told me. As soon as he was hard he pulled out and bent me over again.
"Please some lube" I begged. He squirted something on my ass and again drive his cock in balls deep. I was in tears as he fucked my ass. Whatever he used was no longer lubricating but he didn't slow. Petre came all over my ass. He didn't even let me rinse off instead marched me naked back into the house.
"You are the cabin slut for the weekend, I don't want to see you even wearing clothes" he told me both Pete and Walt where in the room.
Pete, George and Walt although all friends where very different. Although I abided by George' s rule of no clothes. Other then when we went into town. And then I wore a sundress, no bra or panties. I had some kind of sexual experience with each of them. Everyday. Walt gentle and kind. George forceful and dirty , while Pete was funny and playful. By Wednesday night Pete and George even split roasted me on the balcony.
Thursday I sucked Walt's huge cock. Proud I had managed to take it all before they headed to the lake. When a car pulled up.
I glanced out the window to see Paul pulling up. I rushed upstairs and jumped in the shower.
Paul
I finished up in Ohio and rushed to the lake. I would still get in a long weekend. As I entered the cabin I heard the shower, the guys must be on the lake I was right I found Phoebe in the shower. I joined her. She kissed me surprised to to see me. Fishing could wait . I took her to bed.
"Paul, I have to tell you" she stopped me. "I don't know exactly how it happened but I slept with The guys" she confessed, I was stunned.
"What? Who?" I stuttered
"All three of them. I had to tell you.i am sorry" Phoebe cried.
"At the same time" I asked but I was kissing and pawing at her. I was so turned on by her being a slut.
"Paul?" Phoebe asked as she grasped the stiffest hard on I have had since I was 15. "You're not mad" she stroked me.
"Tell me about it" I begged. She stopped me pushing me back.
"I was so worried you would leave me" she yelled at him hitting him in the chest. Then she looked me in the eye. "Walt is very big" she held her hands apart to show me. I pinned her down. I wanted her.
"Stop, if it turns you on so much I should just finish the week out ad their slut" Phoebe told me. She reached down and stoked my dick.
"Sit up" she told me. Never letting go of my now leaking penis. I came in her hand.
"Let's go down to the lake" she suggested. I got dressed. But Phoebe only wore sandels and a sheer rap. Like woman wear over thier bathing suit on the beach. We reached the dock and called the boat on the shortwave radio. They headed right in. They took one look at Phoebe. And laughed.
"You okay with your wife dressing like that Paul?"
"Yes, she looks awesome." I replied. Phoebe kissed me.
"Maybe they will let you watch later" she said and smacked my ass.
The four of us spent the day fishing. And Phoebe was the topic of the day. The three of them compared notes, and told stories about the last few days. I was rock hard the whole time. Even sharing a story of my own back when me and Phoebe had first met.
As we got back to the cabin Phoebe was cooking diner. George walked straight up and bent her over the counter. He started to play with her ass.
"George please' She begged handing him a tube of lube. He took it.
"Paul finish dinner don't let it burn" George picked Phoebe up and took her outside on the patio. I could hear them bit not see focusing on not ruining dinner.
"You are really okay with this" Walt smiled
"Yes" was all I could muster.
"Well I guess you get the couch then" Pete laughed. They treated me like a bitch after that. I was the butt of every joke or prank. Not permitted to drink to much since I wasn't man enough. I don't know if it was Phoebe or the guys but she made sure I got a good look at each one of their cocks over the next two days.
Phoebe fucked all of them at least once a day. I got even more turned on. As they teased me.
"Maybe you should ride on the back of thefour wheeler. It might be too much for you to handle" they even made me fish with Phoebe's pink pole I had bought years ago. She never used. But hadbought along for the weekend cause you never know.
Friday night. Phoebe came down stairs sat on couch where I was sleeping. I woke up. She wore her robe.
"You need to come clean, explain this all to me" She said. "You get excited when I fuck your friends, but also when they treat you like a sissy" she told me. I was rock hard and rolled to rub against her.
"Explain first" she told me.
"I don't know, I always loved it when the guys would talk about how hot you where. Made me feel like a million bucks. I had fantasies of you fucking George. I knew what he is like. Way he talks about his conquest. Plus I know I am not very big. And it's hard for you to finish with me,
"I will admit I have had more orgasms this week them in the last 5 years" she told me.
"And you let them have your ass" I moaned. We had never. I had asked her to try it once but she was unsure about it and I let it go.
"Walt took it tonight I don't think it will ever go back." She laughed stood up and showed me her still stretched asshole. I kissed it even running my tounge along the rim. This made Phoebe giggle. She spun and showed me her gapped pussy as well. I went to kiss it too. She pulled back.
"He finished in" she started I grabbed her ass and pulled her back kissing her pussy. My tounge probing the creves. I could definitely taste Walt mixed with her. Phoebe just let me continue.
"It's in there deep" Phoebe reminded me. Soon she was rocking back on forth riding my face. I made her cum she regained her composure.
"Be right back" as she got up and went upstairs. She returned a few minutes later.
"Put these on" she held a peach colored panties, with lace across the ass.
"Phoebe?!" I said surprised
"If you're going to suck men's cum out of my dirty cunt. You are going to wear the proper underwear" she told me. I got up took off my boxers as she slid them up my legs. She rubbed my never ending erection thru the soft material till I came. It didn't take long. Then went back to bed.
I was up first showered and dressed. When Phoebe came down in just her robe and made breakfast. As we ate Phoebe just crawled under the table and sucked Pete's cock. She came up. And kissed me. She hadn't swallowed Pete's load. Instead she fed it to me. Forcing me to swallow it. To laughs from the three of them.
"Last day" she handed me a flower print bikini. "Since you love to eat cum so much you should dress the part on the lake." I felt warm. I couldn't not in public. Not with my friends. Suddenly they where all insisting. I went and changed. The suit was very small barely covering my ass. And I had not tits. I wanted to protest but everyone could see my erection straining against the material.
We went out on the boat. But fishing was done. They had fished for the last 8 days. Today they made sure I got a nice tan. They went and jumped off the cliff into the lake. I wasn't allowed to try I was delicate. And although it pissed me off. It excited me also. So inplayed the part of the unimpressed girl watching them be jerks. But at noon they headed back to the cabin. We surprised Phoebe. They sat me down and I watched as they all fucked her. In every hole. She was covered in there sperm by the time they finished.
"Go clean your slut up" they told me. Phoebe was exhausted and falling asleep as I started to lick and slurp up 6 or was it 7 loads of cum off of her. The guys left us alone. But I didn't want to stop. Phoebe even fell asleep until I sucked two loads out of her cunt
"Sissy, don't forget my ass" is all phoebe said rolling over to give me better access. I let Phoebe sleep. The guys left rather then spend another night. I spent the rest of the day in Phoebe's bikini. When Pheobe woke she gave me another handjob.
"Paul, I am going to at least counting to see Pete. Since he is technically the only one single. And I will have to find some more since I know now you are a total cum fag" Phoebe told me. We left in the morning.on the long drive home. Phoebe made me make a detour to an adult store. Where she made me pick out a strapon along with other toys. After a brief breakdown where I admitted I wanted it. She also had me change right in the parking lot. Into a pair of her panties. She let me choose. Since she hadn't worn any all week.
All I could think about was when was the next fishing trip?
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Vino Veritas - Part IV
A Destination Wedding Frank x Fem!Reader Fic
Attending the wedding of your ex-fiancé gets slightly better when you meet someone having just as miserable a time as you... Warnings: Nothing too serious holy shit. Cursing. Broken engagement. Nihilism, existential bullshit, copious amounts of sarcasm. NSFW. Loosely based on the movie but I'm not that smart. Or bitter. 😆 chapter map.
IV. Showering Together To Conserve Water
You are both tired as you return to the hotel, and maybe a little giddy from what you did in the backcountry of the vineyard. You certainly didn’t drink enough wine at the reception to be stumbling the way you are, and when you nearly trip over your tall shoes again Frank sweeps you up into his arms for the second time that day.
When you look at him with surprise he qualifies, “If you break an ankle, it will ruin my night.”
You chuckle to yourself, and rest your head on his shoulder. It’s a very nice shoulder, broad, solid. If you were braver than you are, you might even dare to think it feels…dependable. It doesn’t escape you, that he carries you like a bride over his threshold, on this day when you watched your ex-fiancé marry someone else.
Frank would be a much better prospect than Kevin—but you are not thinking about that.
You’re trying not to, anyway.
The shine doesn’t even diminish while he curses as he fumbles to get out his key. It’s all highly entertaining, and very sweet, and that cloyingly painful ball in your chest only feels like it's growing.
He sets you down on the bed, and immediately sets about unbuckling the ankle straps of your shoes. “These things are an accident waiting to happen.”
“But they make my calves look amazing,” you defend.
He pauses to assess the body parts in question, nodding begrudgingly. “They’re quite nice on their own though. You’re a very attractive woman.”
This hits you a bit like a shovel to the head. You guess he’d complimented your clothes before, but it wasn’t quite the same thing.
“I think you’re very attractive too,” you confess, though you’re sure he already knows it.
The fleeting look on his face isn’t exactly surprise—but you dare think that maybe it moves him too.
“Excellent. We’ve had sex and now we admit we’re attracted to each other,” he deflects with a smirk. “However, I also think you’re dirty after our roll in the hills, and I am too. Want to take a shower?”
You can only presume he means together, and you nod.
***
At first you focus solely on washing, which is nice when he lathers his big hands up with soap and runs them all over your body. You’re all too happy to return the favor, which yields the inevitable arousal for both of you.
“I know it’s how it’s done in the movies,” he says between kissing you, “But if I pick you up to fuck you the odds are excellent I will slip and fall and we will both get hurt.”
You’re not entirely disappointed to hear this. You’ve always thought it precarious and awkward anyway. In answer you turn to lean on the shower wall. “How about this?” you suggest, standing on tiptoe to offer your ass up in the air, looking back with a mischievous smile.
“Maybe if we could get you a footstool,” he snarks, before engulfing you with his body behind yours, his front pressed to your back. He grumbles with appreciation as he kisses the back of your neck, his hard member pressing into your spine. “I think we can make this work,” he muses, his voice gone low and gravely with desire. That alone is enough to make you gush between your legs, and when he touches you he finds your slit slick and ready for him. It’s almost embarrassing, really, how much you want it with this man.
When he bends his knees to enter you the both of you moan, the wonderful pressure of his beautiful cock filling you up making you see stars.
It’s also embarrassing, how fast you cum on his fingers with his cock inside you like this, the hard clench of your walls bringing him right along with you again.
“Oh my god,” you pant, pressing your cheek against the cool tiles. You can feel the hot drip of his seed running down your thighs—it’s marvelous, if you’re being honest. It’s wonderful and you’re afraid you never want it to end.
“Yeah,” he agrees, leaning above you, leaving you feeling surrounded by his body and strangely secure in the shelter of his larger form.
“I never—” You stop yourself short, thinking that maybe it’s too much to confess this soon in your budding relationship, if this can even be called yet. Leave it to you, to scare him off straight out the gate.
“Tell me,” he says, almost gently, his throbbing manhood still inside you.
Fuck it.
“I never cum this quickly. I usually get freaked out that I’m taking too long, and it’s a nightmare, and I just end up faking it to make it stop. You are…” You evacuate the breath from your body, so that you don’t say something insane, like you’re a dream come true.
You tense, waiting for the inevitable snide comment that will shatter the moment, but it does not come. He just kisses the back of your head and slides out of you, so that he can stand upright again. However, he does not let go of you, holding you snug against the shelter of his body with an arm still looped around your waist.
“That sounds crushingly disappointing,” he says against your ear.
“Yeah.” You’re not sure why your throat is suddenly tight, and that’s all you can get out at the moment. You guess before Frank, you weren’t that into it either.
He turns you in his arms and kisses you again under the warm stream of the shower, so sweetly one would find it hard to believe he’s the same man from before. “I’m honored. And…same.”
“You’ve faked orgasms before?” you ask, incredulous.
“No, but you—this is the best I’ve had in a long time. So…same.”
You nod, and resolve not to pick at it anymore, happy with what you have for now. You rest with your head against his chest, catching your breath, your knees–and your heart–feeling like they’ve turned to jelly.
#destination wedding#frank x you#frank MrNiceCaboose x you#LOL that's for u scarlett!#frank x reader#frank x y/n#destination wedding frank x you#frank reeves x you#keanu reeves#keanu reeves x reader#keanuverse#keanuverse fic#vino veritas destination wedding fic#destination wedding fic
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trapped together
during a field training exercise, katsuki bakugo and you find yourselves trapped in a collapsed building. forced to rely on each other for survival, you both confront your deepest fears and discover unexpected feelings.
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you groaned as you slowly regained consciousness, your head throbbing from the impact. dust and debris filled the air, making it hard to breathe. as your vision cleared, you realized you were in a dark, confined space with rubble all around. panic began to set in until you heard a familiar, gruff voice.
"oi, you alive?" bakugo's voice was harsh, but there was an underlying concern that you couldn't ignore.
"yeah, i'm okay," you replied, your voice shaky. "where are we?"
"building collapsed during the exercise. we're stuck," he said bluntly. "you hurt?"
you took a moment to assess yourself. apart from a few scratches and bruises, you seemed to be relatively unharmed. "i'm fine.. what about you?"
"just a few scratches. i've had worse," he grumbled. "we need to find a way out of here."
you nodded, even though he couldn't see you in the darkness. you both started moving, trying to clear some of the debris. after a few minutes of working in silence, you realized it was going to take a while to get out.
"bakugo," you said, breaking the silence. "do you think anyone knows we're here?"
"they better," he muttered. "otherwise, i'll blow my way out and take down half the school with me."
despite the situation, you couldn't help but chuckle. "classic bakugo."
he paused for a moment, and you could almost feel his eyes on you. "why are you laughing, idiot? This isn't funny."
"I know," you said, your voice softening. "it's just… we're stuck here, and you're still the same. it's comforting, in a way."
"hmph," he grunted, but you noticed a slight change in his tone. "just keep working. we'll get out of here."
hours passed, and the two of you worked tirelessly, but progress was slow. you could feel your energy waning, and bakugo seemed to notice.
"take a break," he ordered. "you're no good to me if you pass out."
you sat down, leaning against a piece of debris. bakugo joined you, sitting close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from him. the silence between you was heavy, but not uncomfortable.
"hey, bakugo," you said quietly. "can I ask you something?"
"what?" he replied, his voice softer than usual.
"why do you push yourself so hard? i mean, you're already one of the strongest in our class, but you always act like you have something to prove."
he was silent for a long moment before he finally spoke. "because i do. i have to be the best. if I'm not, then what's the point?"
you looked at him, surprised by his honesty. "but you already are amazing. everyone knows that."
"not good enough," he said, his voice almost a whisper. "not until everyone acknowledges it."
you reached out and placed a hand on his arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "i acknowledge it. you're incredible, bakugo."
he turned to look at you, his eyes searching yours. for a moment, the fierce determination in his gaze softened, replaced by something more vulnerable. "thanks," he muttered, almost reluctantly.
you both sat there for a while, the silence now filled with a newfound understanding. eventually, bakugo stood up, offering you his hand.
"come on," he said, pulling you to your feet. "let's get out of here."
you nodded, feeling a surge of determination. together, you continued to clear the rubble, your movements more synchronized now. it was as if the bond you had formed in those moments of vulnerability had made you stronger.
hours later, you finally saw a glimmer of light. with renewed energy, you and bakugo pushed through the last of the debris, emerging into the open air. rescue teams were already there, and your classmates cheered as you both stumbled out.
"about time," bakugo grumbled, but there was a small, rare smile on his face as he looked at you.
"yeah," you agreed, smiling back. "we made it."
as you both got checked by the medics, you couldn't help but feel that something had changed between you. being trapped together had forced you to confront your fears and rely on each other in ways you hadn't expected. and in that darkness, you had found a light. one that shone even brighter than before.
maybe, just maybe, you and bakugo were stronger together.
#anime#mha#mha x reader#bnha#bnha x reader#katsuki bakugou#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader#mha bakugo katsuki#mha bakugo x reader
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I think you made me start shipping Marchil
Your posts got me thinking about their dynamic then I wrote a fic that was supposed to be platonic but midway through I realized it could actually be interpreted as romantic too and now I'm just sad about how little time they'll have together
First of all, you have a lovely icon, second, I’m so honored… I finally read Not a bad way to go and it was soo so good like. My god!!! Pre-canon is underused and you did so many interesting things with it.
It sounded like a cruel joke, that the one who needed her concern the most was also the one least interested in it.
^^^ go read it go read it
Chilchuck was drunk enough that he needed to hold onto the walls not to fall, but apparently still sober enough to remember emotional vulnerability was his worst enemy, as he made sure to avert her eyes and said:
“Namari made me come talk to you ” to make it clear he wasn't being nice voluntarily.
Yeah.
“Of course I'm scared of dying.” He scoffed. Did she really think so little of him? “But if I could choose, I would want to die doing something I love, like drinking. Or maybe fucking,”
Maybe you wish you didn’t know but my new favorite HC because of this is that Chil dies yes prematurely not of liver failure though but during coitus. Especially if marchil, the thought of him busting a nut and his heart giving out makes me laugh so hard. My god. Lmao. Oh god. Lmfao. Worst day of her life
Marcille knew Chilchuck wasn't a kid, but she often struggled to take him seriously as an adult because he was just so adorable and small. In this moment, however, she saw them exactly for what they were, even if it was just a glimpse. A sheltered, naive little girl trying to tell a tired, much more experienced man how to live the rest of his life.
Standing ovation
She tried to find an explanation to give him, but she couldn't even find one for herself. Why would she miss him? He was just Chilchuck, her coworker, Chilchuck who was cold, aloof, sometimes crass, evasive, and even outright mean. He who was level headed, reliable, trustworthy, perceptive and clever. He who had the least time left, even in a best case scenario. “I guess that despite your best efforts, there's still a lot to like about you.”
This fic goes so hard, standing ovation pt 2
“I just think it's better if we don't get too close. Don't you agree?”
“I… maybe” she said, uncertain as he didn't know how to feel about that. Caring about people would only hurt her in the wrong run, she knew that, but unfortunately she couldn't help it.
I looove how they can be read to be similar on this aspect. My hand clenching around my phone as I rear up to rant about Marcille and the way she does keep people at an arm’s length subconsciously again my god my goood. Obsessed with this obsessed with this, underused for marchil. Terrified of loss through death vs rejection duo I love youuu
Brilliant ending I’m in shambles. I’m not gonna spoil it
You get marchil so much you truly do. The way they mesh, the way their views on mortality clash and both soothe & bruise… He doesn’t have much time left even in best case scenario (which Mr I won’t eat well I’ll drink and smoke a lot I’ll stress all day every day is determined to not make happen) which makes it all the more meaningful for Marcille’s arc when she learns from him to finally enjoy the present moments… It’ll only be a fraction of her life, but to him he’s giving her the rest of his life. What are some decades of love worth? Worth it, surely, if nothing else
#My only nitpick is that canonically they rarely hang out after work and you wrote that they did it often but that’s lit the only thing#Chilchuck tims#dunmeshi memes#ask#I have friends big fans of the timeline where Chil is one of those who miraculously live to 70#Marcille is always bracing herself year after year to lose him and it just becomes anticlimatic#Chilchuck the old fart grumpy husband who REFUSES to die#I wanna write pre-canon marchil as well eventually…#Anyways i hope u don’t mind me putting ur fic on blast!! I liked it a lot and again i couldn’t be happier i made you like the ship#Or even write fic like omg… i hope you make more!! You got them down real well#Thank you for the ask and thank you for the content!!! Made my day. Bith when u sent it and when i rea the fic i was having a bad day#Like his dad WOULD say that. ‘I heard you crying what the fuck’ aughh they’re so so compelling pre canon oh my god#I looove ‘platonic or romantic you choose’ fics and tackling alcoholic Chil is an instant like. The 1 flirty line was a nice treat#Marchil union is brainstorming Coraline AUs btw they all go so hard I’m looking forward to that wave#Tried to keep this a lil more composed than the ao3 comments I make lmaoo but yeah know that i’d do rabid keysmashes about it#‘You’re easy to love despite it all/even if you try to make it hard to’ is such a core of marchil
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loved ur recent post on paul whump !! besides the linked one(which I've never read so thanks!) do you have👀👀 any recommendations👀👀👀👀
tl;dr - it's slim pickins out there.
First let's bring back an old differentiation: there's physical whump and then emotional whump, and that was an important distinction back in the day. I have looked for both and while there are some good emotional whump pieces, there is no readable physical whump besides the su!c!d3 fic. Physical whump is more of an action movie thing and in general Beatles fandom is not terribly interested in action and adventure so they don't write it. And the thing is, that's fine, that's a valid choice that anyone can make and we should write about the things we enjoy and not what we think others expect. But it also means that Paul whump fics basically don't exist in modern fandom as we know it. There are probably some on LJ or in the Google Docs McLennon archive since Stargate and Smallville were so big on LJ at the time and there was more x-fandom pollination but I don't want to Snipe hunt right now.
(For the record, I do have something in the works to fix this hole but it won't come out until next year if we're lucky.)
Emotional whump is more plentiful and there's well written stuff out there for sure. Most of the emotional whump I've enjoyed is centered around John's suffering and while Paul's misery is apparent it's not the focus of those pieces. So this took some digging into my bookmarks and memory. What I like in a good Paul whump fic is how his own arrogance and narcissist tendencies come back to bite him OR he's having to put up with John's shit when John is being horrible.
In that spirit, here are my recommendations for decent emotional whump focused on Paul:
Barcelona - Selena. I enjoy this one because Selena let's Paul be a whole person here. It's not just John and Brian bothering him, it's the fact that he's trapped with someone who reminds him of what he's lacking and how this hurts him, both now and in the past. Parallels to the Barcelona situation are subtle and well drawn so you get all of the agony without being hit over the head with it. John is opaque to Paul who doesn't understand why he's acting like this which is a nice change from what we often see in fanfic where John just blurts out what he's feeling. Here we see how much Paul suffers when John is trying too hard to be clever.
A Hole in the World - RosalindBeatrice. Linda bears witness to the aftermath of John's murder in Paul. Easily the absolute best fanfiction on this list.
Birthday - Selene. Love this one because Selene writes Paul as an actual character instead of the heteronormative girly thing he often gets slapped with. Paul is once again bitter, angry and unhappy because the boy he fell in love with has already disappeared. He is forced to be the adult in a room full of manchildren and he hates it...but he also sucks it up and does it anyway. Because he is Paul McCartney and being the foundation of The Beatles and cleaning up John's messes is exactly what he signed up for and he will do it because no one else can.
I think of this one all the time. It lives rent free in my head.
Red Sky - thinkpink20. What I appreciate about thinkpink20 is that she is brave enough to let John be absolutely awful but she also humanizes him so you can see his inner pain and confusion driving that horribleness. This is a nice one where John is no where near to figuring himself out but Paul is, and then when Stuart's living shadow gets into the mix, no one is happy.
From Barcelona To Santa Cruz - thinkpink20. Another post-Spain fic but this time John articulates his defense well which of course humiliates and angers Paul even further because John proves he is human and capable of empathy, which Paul didn't want to write into the equation.
the crane wife - mynamesbetty. Betty was showing me the first drafts of this one and all I could say was: "Paul is a horrible person. He's a fucking homewrecker. He deserves this." That's what I like best about this story. Paul is a selfish asshole and he hurts everyone and himself by being self centered, petulant, and cowardly. Every single awful thing that happens to him is strictly the result of his own actions. He manages to make himself the Coyote in a Looney Tunes cartoon including the bit where he runs straight off the cliff, doesn't realize it, and then looks down just as he starts falling before he shoots the viewer a look asking for help. And then the ACME anvil falls on him.
So those are my recommendations on Paul whump. It ended up being a longer list than I expected so that's something. Hope you enjoy the recommendations and please check out the other fanfics by these authors, they're all great.
#the beatles#paul mccartney#mclennon#fanfiction#fanfiction recommendation#fanfiction rec list#fanfic rec#paul whump
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CBF!König x GN!Reader (Chapter Four)
Warnings: no pronouns but 'you', König has a name
What was the assignment? Jealousy?
Age: 13
Memory Five
“Probably won’t be the last time”
“Look, Alexander, if we don’t get this done- me and you are toast…” You took a bite out of your jam covered toast to emphasise it was time to get working. Alexander groaned at your pun, giving you a glare before focusing back on the papers before him. You and him were at your house to finish off some homework and finally get started on your project.
“I’d rather be doing anything else but this stupid project…” He mumbled, furiously clicking his pen, like that would get words out. You sighed through your nose and shook your head. The teacher, Mr. H (as some kids called him… because his name was hard to pronounce) assigned dual-group work about whatever topic you wanted. The requirement was that you had to research its history… but you two didn’t know that until you got the assignment paper.
“As long as it’s informative- and nothing inappropriate!” He warned, looking over at two kids in particular who snickered.
“Well, we wouldn’t be in this situation if we started earlier, it’s due in two days and we barely started…” You pointed out. You took a look at the assignment sheet that the teacher gave, giving it a run down in your head. Both you and Alexander answered two and a half questions out of seven. You think with the topic Alexander picked he’d have done the whole assignment himself.
“Our topic is going to be about lego,” He stated.
“Lego? I thought it was meant to be informative?” You asked, starting at the assignment paper then the board. It wasn’t like it gave much information about what topics you shouldn’t pick- but you were just trying to avoid the blank look on his face.
“He said we could do what we wanted… it just needs to be informative,” he defended. You knew early on in your friendship that Alexander loved three things in his life: fantasy, lego, and his mom’s cooking. He would never budge on them, Lego wasn’t exactly your thing but you’d guess it was for now.
“Alright, well, we could definitely fit these questions to the topic of lego…” You shrugged, you could see out of the corner of your eye that Alexander was doing a little happy shimmy, he was definitely excited.
Which was weird considering how he was acting now. He huffed as he answered another question for the paper, taking a sip of his water then spacing off. You weren’t going to allow him to fall victim to his day dreaming.
“You were so excited in the beginning… what happened?” You finished off your toast before looking over at him. He frowned, giving his paper a look of contempt before giving you a heavy sigh. He was quiet for a while, probably mulling over how to word what he’s trying to say. It used to freak you out- how he’d have to take time to figure out what to say even in simple conversation, since you thought he was going to say something groundbreaking. But he just had trouble with words and hated saying anything that made him sound stupid.
“I thought I would be able to… I don’t know, talk about some of my lego builds but all the questions pertain to boring answers- and yeah sure I like talking about lego but not the history of it…” He started rambling off, saying how he was gravely disappointed.
“Well… Why don’t we just try to answer one of the questions that uses your knowledgeable lego building skills?” You offered, trying to get his hopes up. You were hoping it would get him motivated enough to finish this today. He looked at you before looking back down at the paper, a thoughtful expression on his face before it slowly shaped into a more happy one.
“Alright let’s do that,” he perked up and began working again.
It was awful.
It was now the next day, you were sitting at your desk, head in your hands. Alexander was trying to word the answer to a question while also trying to talk about his lego builds. He wasn’t the best at controlling his frustration and yesterday he ended up ripping his assignment (you had to help him tape it up).
He groaned and shoved the paper away from him before laying his head on his desk. You were almost done with the assignment, but Alexander argued his last answer needed to be perfect, you countered that it didn’t need to be, it looked fine enough.
“Hey, I like your title page!” Your classmate, Alina, spoke to you. She sat at the desk on your left since you ended up in the middle row. She was a nice girl with light brown hair and thick purple glasses. You smiled at her, pleased at the little compliment.
“Thanks! I thought it might have been a bit too much…” You looked down at your finished titled page, ‘The history of Lego’ was right in the middle of the page. Some lego bricks and yellow stars surrounded the words, making it pop out almost.
Your dad helped you with the design, he even added some glitter.
“Oooh, I like your topic- cartoons are always fun to talk about! I particularly like this one about this girl who receives the ability to transform into a powerful heroine…” You complimented her back while also going on a small tangent. Once you realised you were talking her ear off your face went warm and quickly wrapped it up. Alina didn’t seem to mind; she even perked up when she recognized what show you were talking about. Adding her two cents on it, though she was cut off though by a loud ahem.
You looked over at Alexander who had a frown on his face.
“...I asked if you could read this,” he huffed, sliding the paper over to you. It looked like he finished up his answer. You took the paper and began reading what he wrote. It looked solid in your eyes but before you could say your praise- he spoke up again.
“You’re supposed to be my partner for this project…” He huffed.
“Um, I am…?” You were confused, all you did was talk to Alina.. who complimented you first.
“No you're not… you’re disloyal…” he retorted before taking his paper back. He was shaking his leg and looked to be a bit upset. You looked over at Aline for help but even she looked confused. Mr. H finally spoke up about class being over in a few minutes. You let Alexander have his fit by himself as you started getting ready to leave.
The walk back home was awkward, you tried getting him to talk, asking him what was wrong.. but he just brushed you off. You just huffed in annoyance at his attitude, he was being ridiculous. You said a curt goodbye before walking over to your house, it felt like last year when he was mad at you defending him but this time you had no idea why he was angry at you.
Guess you’ll figure it out later, you have T.V to watch.
"Borderline" Masterlist
Words: 1,201
Chapter Five (Coming soon)
Reblogs & comments divider by @reveriesources
#cod fanfic#cod x reader#könig#call of duty#cod mwii#konig cod#könig cod#könig x reader#cbf!könig#guy.writes#modern warefare 2 x reader#fanfic
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I made the mistake of rewatching Sherlock because I never did finish it back in the day (I was -clenches fist- seething over the queerbaiting and rage quit after not fully watching episode 1 of s4) and I'm here to make my side hyperfixation (what year is this??? Who am I???) Tumblr's problem. The more I sit with s4, the less I like it 😂 There were pieces and elements I liked, but overall, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Forgive me if any or all if these points have been talked to death, I missed all the discourse and I'm hella late, but I need to flail and send my thoughts into the void because what even WAS that season? I can't believe I avoided it for years, got drawn in by a couple of tiktoks making fun (affectionately) of superwholock Era and That Scene about the fucking phone charger port, binged all of it, only to be left with..... that. Not nearly as disappointing or rage inducing as spn's ending but by God, did it leave a hole in me. So please ignore my rambling thoughts as I slap them down here for my own sanity.
• First and foremost, what - and I can't stress this enough - the fuck was UP with the assassination of John's entire character???? What was that??? Why????
• Related to that point - I can appreciate the angst point and potential it provides, as I'm reading many, many fics, but AYO WHY didn't anyone rip John an entire new one for that beat down he did on Sherlock????? Hello???? 911?????
• Tell me why everything felt so stilted and borderline icy. Like I get the high emotions and shit, but after a certain point... 😭 was there a falling out between Benedict and Martin that I'm not aware of? Did they just try to ungay everything so hard and were so pissed at the audience picking up everything THAT THEY PUT???? into this show and their interactions that they just hit the brakes hard enough to make everything feel weird???
• A lot of it felt weird. Off kilter a little. Forced in some places, toned down in others (and toned down where it shouldn't have been), a nod to ships but weirdly/hatefully??? Idk if that makes sense. Like the whole Sherlock and Molly phone call (I do not mean any hate to this ship, I really hope it doesn't come off this way. Not my cup of tea but you are valid). Why was Molly so upset BEFORE the call? Did I miss something? Also I don't personally think or feel she'd still have those feelings for him??? I??? I am bamboozled.
• to that whole point, Eurus was.... Hmm. Mmmm. She was. Something. (Confused derogatory)
• I like Mary as a character. I also hated her. (Definitely biased by my shipper trash ass self for johnlock, I'm sorry). Wtf were those messages, please. Edit: AND ANOTHER THING. John's reaction to Sherlock's death - awful, gut wrenching, beautiful, my heart breaks with and for him, utterly devasting. John's reaction to Mary's death - had me sitting there like🧍♀️(it was weird. so weird. awkward. w h y. (we know why, but also the acting choices were Something TM, in both cases! for different reasons!) i'm sorry i just can't get past my anger and put off-ness with mary, fun as she could be)
• why did mycroft and John switch roles 😭 pls. The last episode was just. So Much. The lackluster responses from John, to John, to Sherlock, between them, like.... hello???? Who are these people?? Help me. Moriarty saved me for a brief shining moment tho, God bless.
There's more I could spew, but that's what's sitting right at the top of my head. I guess all this just to say, if a show runner/writer really just fucking hates the audience they got (instead of the one they wanted), they probably shouldn't have fucking become a show runner/writer in the first place. Either hand it to someone who can actually handle it and listens, or fuck off. I will never understand when shows and plots and characters gets kamikaze'd because of a show runner being pissy and egotistical. Like ????? Grow up. Learn from Bryan Fuller and Hannibal or something.
Sorry for all the rambling, bless anyone who reads this and makes sense of it 😂
#sherlock#bbc sherlock#sherlock holmes#john watson#johnlock#season 4#s4#steven moffat#mark gatiss#yo wtf#rambling thoughts#ranting#rip me
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"if you fancy Astarion, you might want to consider therapy. He's so damaged I must have him! Enjoy the fantasy and then call a therapist. It's a two step thing and it's very important you do both." - Amelia Tyler what do your narrator eyes see? 😂😂😂
#ohohooooohoo the little random tidbits devs and voice actors have dropped about his companion arc is making me NERVOUS#just throwin out some meta thoughts here#in order for astarion to *get rid of* the tadpole; cazador *has* to die first. like i'll bet my left tit this is conditional#since cazzy is apparently a control freak he might be enemies w the mindflayers/absolute cult bc ''bleh bleh my city''#i think its entirely possible that we could ally w cazador against the absolute; this would like have to result in astarion attacking tav#im just worried it might be like; you have to at least temporarily side w the absolute if you kill cazzy?#idk! idk!#and like i do think there will probably be a 3rd option of like 'i hate both these groups kill them both' but man.#and then there's whatever is going on w his ''this soul is not for sale except in the realm of the undead'' stamp#like are we gonna have to go the there? wherever the fuck that is?#pls amelia i am begging on my knees i need a sign! of hope!#bc now the hug and hand holding in the trailer is making me think larian is trying to trick me into believing he'll be okay#only to hit me with a devastating ending(s) no matter what#idk. man. i read astarion's writer was fanes writer. idk dos2 but like i am aware of what......happened w that 'romance'#pls i need a sign larian#i am so sick of the bioware style romances! the morrigans! the solases ! the unresolved endings of it all! ENOUGH#i want closure from this i am begging#for once in my life i just want closure for a video game romance ending#i JUST THINK LIKE ideally. for me. he'd have at least 1 ending where he's not cured but lives happily ever after*#i am having a hard time picturing him cured of vampirism. tbh. but if it's possible without him immediately dying then. well hats off#its 2 AM here i need to knock it tf off and go to bed#........unless.....yall want to enable me and discuss this further#i am 1 more bad day away from writing a thesis on this in MLA format istg
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#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad#bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young#and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder#but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small#and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible#grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing#and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is#probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a#fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong#with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality#and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever#as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun#its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to#read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like#yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess#i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she#clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate#unrelated
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thinking about dream daddy again and god brian makes me so mad
#random thoughts#dream daddy#HIS ROUTE ISN'T EVEN ABOUT HIM#okay so the thing about the fleshed-out routes is you can tell a lot about a character depending on how many people are around#like with craig his first two dates involve at least one of his kids and a lot of social interaction because he's so overworked#so his final date where you just spend time with HIM one-on-one hits a lot harder#while with joseph he surrounds you with people but takes little periods of time to be alone with you to make a move#before instantly surrounding you with people again so you don't have enough time to question if he just made a pass at you#which is why his final date with you on the boat hits so hard: he purposefully isolated you in a place you could not easily leave#so he could make his move#and with brian... all his dates involve daisy in some way#which would imply he's trying to maintain some sort of distance? but he's not. he actively wants to befriend you#daisy and amanda keep tagging along... and for what?#they're eventually sidelined anyway! each date involves a moment where daisy and amanda are gone and you get a moment alone with brian#brian is the dad whose kid is the most present in his route and it says. literally nothing about him#make it so your character keeps inviting brian out and brian keeps making it a 'bring your kid and make it a playdate' thing or SOMETHING#maybe he's been raising daisy by himself for so long he's a bit rusty on how to interact with someone he's interested in?#on the second date daisy and amanda could have stayed home. it would change nothing#have daisy be sick and amanda be otherwise involved (maybe imply they're both faking to get out of fishing/get brian and mc to smooch)#like i don't think i'd mind daisy being around so much if she wasn't such a nothing burger of a character#give her some flaws! have amanda think she's weird or creepy! show us why she has no friends!#why is brian's route centered around our mc's daddy issues. we don't know his dad. we don't give a shit about his dad.#brian's route's main conflict ISN'T EVEN ABOUT HIM??? WHAT THE FUCK#you're essentially forcing us to make a character choice based on a backstory you also forced on us. you fallout 4'd us.#like okay. there's a lot of 'here's a part of your backstory you didn't know about' in dream daddy but this specifically doesn't work#like the ska band? it's a jokey plot device that's kind of weak but also a bit whatever#alex? is an explanation for why you're a single parent. very sad. not very fleshed out.#mc's dad? IS THE FOCUS OF AN ENTIRE ROUTE?????? WHAT THE FUCJ#literally no reason to do that. it makes brian a flatter character whose whole purpose is to react to your daddy issues#GIVE HIM FLAWS. MAKE HIM THE ONE WHO TAKES THE COMPETITION TOO SERIOUSLY
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I'd love to date an woman, unfortunately they are too pretty for me or wouldn't match at all personality wise with me 😔
#miranda talking shit#I guess I'm using the wrong app for it but mein gott#I've come across two amazing dykes and both lived so far away like.... I'd love for them to sweep me off my feet#But I got no drivers license so I would be the worst inconvenience on them :/#Other ladies who have similar interests and vibes seem to be faaaar between or have like multiple partners#I think I would be willing to try an poly relationship if we were three but all I've seen are like “I have many partners” feels like a big#Leap to attempt for me since I have no experience. Anyway uuh.... Women.... Amazing and I have not enough to offer ever :c#Being an ugly loser is hard work mein gott#Let me cry for a moment I'll be over it eventuellt but today is one of those days man#Maybe I find it easier to see men bc I feel I'm never enough for women out there#Like girl you could have anyone.... Little old me only got my undying love and devotion and two cats to offer
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heyyyyyy <3 <3 i feel terrible.
i had planned to stay off longer but i genuinely have had like three nervous breakdowns since i left bc right as i decided it was abt time i just chill for a little bit everything started happening all at once. so i came back to see my silly little internet friends, but like the second i logged back on some ppl were talking smack abt me sooooooooo... ya know. my day (two weeks) be so fine,, then BOOM my entire schedule fills up and i become hollow on the inside! (hey sorry like vent post n tags i need to get things out of my brain)
#spikes rambles#i was happy there for a minute too :<#heres what its looking like rn....#i have three weddings. one of which i am a bridesmaid for and was left to get my own dress#but i cant afford a nice dress that matches. so i have to make one my damn self. and in two weeks.#i have a graduation.. and a graduation party both for different ppl#even tho i had to push back my own graduation by a full year bc things were just not going as planned. and now everyone thinks im a failure#im volunteering to teach at a kids summer camp like thingy. i was supposed to have a partner but i was told that she actually#wants nothing to do with me and was forced into this but i was under the impression that we would be teaching TOGETHER#and not her being an assistant. so now i have to call her and be like heyyyyy what the fuck is going on i need to know the lesson plan#im also volunteering for a church summer thing. if i could i wouldnt be doing this but my self made mother figure asked me personally#to help and i cant say no to this. we get to hang out and i get to paint like murals and shit and we've been doing this together for years#i have to spend the weekend with my bio mother to go to a celtic festival thing bc my younger brother wants to go.#i'm having some pretty severe best friend problems which i am honestly not well equipped enough to deal with and its eating me away inside#summer has officially started here so that means 24/7 headaches and sensory problems. straight up category 5 autism moments#i had to pick up the slack and become a paternal figure to my youngest brother. which is just sad that i have to at all#my dear beloved friend is trying very hard to make a young adult like hangout (???) thing in own town and really wants me to go#but i just dont wanna. i dont really care for social gatherings#hey guys btw all this has happened or was planned for next month in the two weeks i was gone#what the fuck.
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