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vajazzly · 4 months

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ok i have been thinking a lot about how sirius ended up with grimmauld place, and im going to rant about it under the cut

so, the most likely (imo) (with jkr kind of in mind) theory is that yes, sirius was disowned officially, but he still has the last name black. since all his cousins are married into other families, when regulus died the house went to sirius automatically as the "last black" despite his being disowned, since there were no others with the last name living. sirius being the og heir probably strengthened that.

the second theory, which is also quite possible, is that the inheritance was going to go to either bellatrix (eldest) or narcissa (eldest with an heir), but sirius (probably with help from dumbledore/moody/possibly bill) managed to override it sometime during GOF. if that's the case, though, it seems odd that the house was seemingly abandoned before the order/sirius moves in.

my favorite theory though is that sirius was never disinherited at all. maybe he was bumped down behind regulus, maybe not, but he wasn't taken out of the will entirely at any rate. and okay, here we're getting into like - conjecture and headcanon territory, so yknow, fair warning.

we know that sirius was a lot of things that a pureblood family would value in an heir - charismatic, confident, talented in magic, intelligent. regulus on the other hand - well, we dont know much about him in terms of his talent for magic, though it can be assumed he was reasonably intelligent since he figured out the horcrux thing, but we do know he was a lot more predisposed to following rather than leading. where sirius was confident in his own beliefs, ready to make his own path, forward-thinking, etc., regulus was happy to idealize and follow voldemort.

obviously, this is why sirius split from his family - their beliefs did not align. but despite that, siriuss personality lends itself a lot better to being the head of a great house. reguluss loyalty to voldemort could have been a good thing for the black house, sure, but if voldemort failed it would be ruinous, and throwing all of one's weight behind one leader, one plan, the way regulus seemed to be doing isn't really the mark of a great leader.

this is 100% conjecture, but id argue that the blacks were in decline, both in money and power. despite an enormous amount of pride in their house and generally giving off an old money vibe, the black vault is never referenced as particularly grand, and they only have one house, and a townhouse in a muggle area at that - grand, but nowhere near somewhere like malfoy manor or the other country mansions pureblood families of status seem to favor.

it makes a lot more sense for orion, from an objective point of view, to leave everything to sirius. regulus was unlikely to make their house into anything great, more interested in worshipping someone else, but sirius had real potential, and if the blacks fortune and power was dwindling, it makes more sense to put the future in the hands of someone more adaptable, who might be able to turn things around instead of being stuck on one path. blindly following someone else doesnt really lend itself to greatness, or potential.

here i think its also notable that siriuss parents were never death eaters. they agreed with voldemort, sure, but they never threw their weight behind him. that, i think, is the old money pride talking - they thought of blacks as being akin to royalty, and royalty does not let someone else take the reigns, tell them what to do, etc. even if voldemort had succeeded, leaving the inheritance to regulus would make their family successful only as long as they remained attached to voldemort, comfortably under his thumb. leaving everything to sirius would be a risk, but the potential payoff would leave the blacks at least with their pride intact, independent. which, yknow, maybe a bit insane, but again - old money pride.

i also think that in general sirius being a golden child who went astray when he went to hogwarts is a lot more interesting (and plausible) than him being the family scapegoat from the jump. hes the heir! and again, hes all the things a family like the blacks would look for in an heir! i dont think their family was ever particularly, like, healthy, but the narrative that sirius was abused and hated from a young age doesnt make all that much sense to me. and in ootp we see glimpses of sirius having a complicated relationship with his family, especially his mother, which hints more at a bond gone sour than outright hatred.

all this to say that sirius was a much better heir than regulus, politics aside, and i think orion and walburga may have seen that, or at least been unwilling to let their wayward perfect heir go completely, and left him on the will in some capacity.

#sirius black #this has definitely been said before but ive had like 4 shots of espresso and pounded this out so bon appetit #i just love perfect talented intelligent heir sirius #who turned out (ugh) LIBERAL so much

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desire-mona · 21 days

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why i think richard cameron is Like That

the long awaited cam analysis post of sorts!!!

so to start off, let me acknowledge the obvious: CAMERON SUCKED FOR WHAT HE DID TO HIS FRIENDS. THAT WAS MEAN AND SHITTY OF HIM, HE DESERVED TO GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE AND HE DESERVED TO HAVE HIS FRIENDS STOP LIKING HIM. this post is just to paint a more nuanced picture of the motivations and reasoning behind his cam-ness. also i feel the need to address that my love for dylan kussman HEAVILY influences my opinion on cameron, so please keep that in find when u read this. if my bias shows at any point then feel free to offer your perspective, odds are i'll find a way to agree :3

lets start at the very beginning of the movie, his first appearance with the tradition banner. this obviously wasn't anything i rly thought of in depth on my first watch, but on my second watch i was like oh Hm.

tradition, of course, is a BIG aspect of welton that the movie repeatedly emphasises, drawing lots of attention to how nothing changes. i find cam holding the tradition banner especially interesting in relativity to neil holding the excellence banner specifically. cam very clearly tries his best to embody the rules of welton (more on this later) and very rarely deviates from those rules, although he does on occasion (again - more on this later.) but despite his attempts to be the manifestation of those values are never met with any praise, unlike neil. that's not to say that neil isn't deserving of that praise though, absolutely he is deserving, but in terms of academics specifically, cam's pretty up there too! this part doesnt exactly tie in directly with the rest of the post, but just thought id point it out first to add a layer to the rest of my thoughts.

how i view cam's character arc is something that's framed in a way thats not supposed to be viewed as an arc, i suppose (interesting considering the tradition thing hm). of course thats inaccurate as he does in fact have in arc, it just small in relation to the more forefront-ed poets. and it makes him ultimately less likeable, so.

during a majority of the movie (pre neil death) cam is known as the guy who doesnt like to break rules, that much is obvious, but in the end he still does with the dead poets society. now the reasoning behind that isnt actually touched on in a direct way, so there are a few different ways you can view that. i'll touch on a few different reasonings that me, @pencileraser1, and @good--merits-accumulated came up with.

my reasoning - i see cam's willingness to break the rules as cam holding his friends' idea of him on a high pedestal, constantly taking into consideration what they think. not wanting his friends to consider him a loser or boring in any way, he joins despite the anxiety surrounding being caught. not without fuss though, he does still outwardly talk about how this isnt something they should be doing. all this and yet he does in fact join, AND he doesnt rat anyone out for a majority of the movie (even after the call from god dealio!!!) fomo, basically.

nick's reasoning (found in this post) - he just wanted his friends to be safe!!! joining to (in my view) keep them in line in terms of safety as well as. i guess. provide the reminder of the consequences i suppose?? nick im opening up the floor to u if u wanna delve into this point more cuz ur definitely able to provide better reasoning n such. if asking nick to talk abt things was a full time job.

tristan's reasoning (discussed in dms) - cam's need for authority. tristan brought up a very good headcanon/ theory/ something or other that cam is the type to need constant direction or authority, and i totally agree! (reason for that will - again - come up later.) now this culminates in a couple different ways. 1) most obviously, adhereing (ehh) to the rules of welton, and 2) his relationship with the rest of the poets. due to the size of the welton student body, a lack of individual direction from teachers and staff is almost inevitable. so to fill that gap, he adheres to his friends' """"""rules"""""", and joins the poets. floor is open to you as well if you'd like to elaborate further, tristan :3

my thoughts of cam being super focused on his friends' idea of him actually started as a bit. i believe i made a hc post about smoking weed?? maybe?? and said something along the lines of "cam would smoke even if he doesnt want to, not cuz of peer pressure from his friends but more of a self imposed peer pressure. thinking its rude/ cringe/ uncool to turn down smthn like this bc all the rest of the guys r doing it." but after a rewatch of the scene in dps where theyre all walking outside, it started having some merit in my mind! in that scene, keating does a sort of imitation of cameron when he first starts to walk, something like "am i doing this right?", "am i walking weird?", etc. (paraphrasing ofc.) so i sort of took that aspect and applied it to other parts of his character and found out that oh, this actually kinda makes sense!

speaking of keating and his lessons, lets talk carpe diem.

now my interpretation of cam is that he doesn't exactly *want* to apply carpe diem in his life, seeing it as an antithesis of the welton values. only joining the poets for the reasons mentioned above. however, he does indeed apply it in my eyes, but more as a fucked up reversal and dickish version which eventually ends up in him deservedly getting punched. now is this how keating intended him to interpret carpe diem? ehhhhhhhhhhhhh,, it's complicated, let's talk about the context a bit.

this part is more theorising than anything, so take it with a few grains of salt if u wish.

cam quite obviously is a pretty big stickler for the rules, which i believe is a result of outside influence. id like to thank @lovech1ld for reminding me of this! cam's parents/ grandparents/ guardians are noticably older than the other poets, which, in my eyes, makes a heavy emphasis on following the rules make a lot more sense (respect your elders type shit.) so this, combined with the inherent fear of authority that most of the boys seem to have, makes him a chronic rule follower. but it goes further than that, after these ideas have been pushed for so long, i feel that cameron's started to mix up his own personal morals and values with the morals and values of welton, viewing those two things as one in the same. here's where that starts to muddy things up in terms of carpe diem.

i interpret cam's finking AS his application of carpe diem in his life, but as more of a subconscious choice. now you may be thinking "hey. mona. what?" and i UNDERSTAND! but here's my reasoning behind that. as i mentioned/ theorised before, cam has a very high opinion of his friends' idea of him, but this does eventually change after neil's passing. his subconscious carpe diem application, to put it into proper words, was a way to stick up for himself and his beliefs despite what all his friends think. again, being brought about by neils death, since he didn't choose to rat anyone out when the opportunity first presented itself during the call from god assembly. and i dont think cam sticking up for himself is inherently a bad thing!! but! since cam's idea of his morals are so clouded by welton's, this isn't actually sticking up for himself, this is just being a tattletale.

he did provide other reasoning for doing so to the poets of course, so lets talk a bit about that too. he says something along the lines of "i did it for neil" and "this is what he wouldve wanted" which is obviously bullshit, objectively. but i don't think he saw it that way, i think he genuinely believed thats what he thought neil would've wanted, as stupid of him as that was. obviously thats not what he wouldve wanted AT ALL, and why he actually thought that is FAR beyond me. but i really dont think he wouldve turned anyone in if he didnt genuinely believe it, especially considering the fact that he was PART of the dead poets. even if he was the one to confess, im sure he likely got punished as well. (which also couldve been what he wanted? tristan this is an opening to also discuss catholic cam on here bc ur reasonings for that were INCREDIBLE.)

on top of this, i really dont think that cam actually understood the weight of what turning in everyone would do. now i will say right away, hes not dumb, he knew that keating would be fired and charlie would be expelled, and that alone should've turned him away if he really wanted to honor neil. as i said before we started, he absolutely deserved to be punched and lose his friends, that was a dick move that ended up ruining two lives for a long long time, if not forever.

but.

due to him grieving, his rules = morals shtick, and fear of authority, i think he turned in the poets without giving actual, proper thought into what the consequences of that would be. which manifests itself both in the film with the final scene.

in the last scene where all of the boys stand on the desk, we see multiple shots of cam looking around and looking at everyone standing. and we (or at least i) can definitely see some sort of consideration to join them!!! he of course doesnt, and ends up choosing to sit, looking QUITE ashamed. this too can he interpreted a couple ways, either as him being embarrassed that his peers are doing this, or as him wanting to join them but knowing that he was the reason keating was fired. knowing that it would be incredibly disingenuous, even if he stood as a way to sort of apologise to keating + the poets for what he did and show that he regrets his actions, he stayed seated. and was so. so. mad at himself for it.

now i don't remember where i heard this so im not sure how to go about fact checking, but i believe the choice to keep cam seated was ultimately dylan kussman's?????? but dont take my word as gospel in terms of that, i very well could be wrong.

BUT! this gives me an opportunity to talk abt how much i love dylan kussman!!!!! nick vocalised the thought before i was able to in one of his posts, but considering the fact that i agree wholeheartedly, i'll reiterate it. i see rsl and ethan hawke constantly be praised (deservedly!) for their understanding of the inner workings of their characters, especially reflected in the desk set scene. and while YES ABSOLUTELY, i think dylan needs this praise as well. dylan was the PERFECT casting choice for cameron and i will shout that from the rooftops until my voice goes hoarse. so so so many of his little mannerisms, facial expressions, ways of speaking, soooo many etceteras are just so. so. CAMERON! even the most comprehensive directorial choices cant top an actor's inherent understanding of a character and reflection of that in their performance. good god! i think my new dream in life is to ask dylan about how he came about properly embodying cameron and his process in doing so.

anyway

with my dylan fanfare over, that about wraps up my thoughts on cam in terms of the film itself. HOWEVER. i have lots and lots of thoughts after a long convo with tristan about certain headcanons and post-canon theories and whatever. will probably touch on those but i dont really have my thoughts properly collected enough, so that wont be until later.

as per usual with these types of posts, everyone else is welcome to add any input they may have. cam is one of my fav things to talk abt in terms of dps so i will eat up every single little thing. thank u for reading!!!!

#desire mona #WOO MAN #this took a while #but we're done!! finally!!!#dead poets society #richard cameron #dylan kussman #banger

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theharlotofferelden · 1 year

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So I wrote this bit of meta/speculation regarding Pen back in February but hesitated on posting it for a variety of reasons. I figured I'd post it after playing the recent update because some of my suspicions were correct. I haven't edited any of it because, frankly, I don't want to because I messed with it so much that I honestly wouldn't know where to start on fixing things.

Anyway here's some stuff I've noticed about Pen. Spoilers for the The Secrets Behind The Mask update of MTAS and Major Spoilers for My Time At Portia.

So a couple days ago I went down a rabbit hole pertaining to Pen. It started with a character from Portia and then snowballed into a loose analysis of the game events and possibly where they might take the story. It's very inconclusive, and I'm not really dedicated to any one idea of where the story will go or how certain characters will develop. I'm simply speculating here because speculating is fun.

Y'all are free to disagree as I know I'm not good at knowing where the story is going at all (I guessed wrong about who the spy for Logan was :')). I'd appreciate input or other theories though. At the very least, some of this might be entertaining muse fuel or a headcanon.

So one thing I stumbled upon while looking at Pen's wiki is under the Trivia section:

[Image ID: A screenshot of the Trivia section of Pen's wiki page. It reads as follows:

The word on his chest armor is "Justice" (正义, zhèng-yì).

According to Chinese version his full name is Péng Hǔ (彭虎) . Pen (彭) is his family name.

Hu (虎) means tiger. /.End ID]

After we meet with Logan and find out that Grace has been working with him (and that Grace is a secret agent for the Ataran government) we find out that there's a Duvos spy in Sandrock. Grace's people intercepted a message under the code name "Tiger" that they were targeting the water tower.

Other folks have pointed this out on the Steam discussion forums and believe that Pen's name translating to "Tiger" is a misdirect. Others think it might mean he's the Duvos spy due to the fact that a lot of the character's (Chinese) names pertain to aspects of their personality.

I'm personally on the fence about it. There's a lot I don't know about Pen, and I'm not sure if anything is really revealed about his past in some dialogue I missed (started a new save specifically to take a better look at things again since it's been a couple months). But currently, I really don't know anything about Pen's background.

All that aside, I find it very interesting that this game takes place shortly before the events of Portia. If you've played Portia, you'll know that they also have a Duvos agent in their midst called the Rogue Knight. After defeating the Rogue Knight, it was strongly suggested that he was Aadit; a resident of Portia that was a refugee from the border between Duvos and Elthea.

I'm not going to get into whether or not Aadit was actually the Rogue Knight just because both of their wikis explain there's contradictory information. But it's more commonly accepted by ppl in fandom that he was (from what I've noticed anyway).

I'm bringing this up mainly because.... isn't it kinda weird that both Portia and Sandrock are having issues with a Duvos agent almost around the same time?

One of the things I find interesting about Sandrock is how they flipped a lot of character's personalities compared to Portia. Example: Gale is very confident as a mayor compared to Trudy. Higgins is such a hard working builder that he's standing outside the door of the commissions office just so he can get first pickings of the commissions on the board, and you can often see him at the furnace stations next to his workshop. Meanwhile, Yan implies not so subtly that he barely even works, and most of the time you find him in the office with his feet kicked up on the table; never at the worktable next to his house.

Let's say that Aadit is the Rogue Knight and that Pen is a Duvos spy. Aadit is a soft spoken, polite pacifist that you can lose friendship with if you challenge him one too many times to a fight. Meanwhile Pen is loud, rude, confident, and loves to fight.

The contradictions in characterization are there, but do they mean anything? Probably not. Even if Pen was designed to contrast Aadit, it doesn't necessarily mean he's aligned with Duvos.

There's much we don't know about Aadit, and the fact that Pathea has been so cagey about him kind of makes me think that if he doesn't make a cameo in Sandrock, we're probably going to see him further along the line. They said as much in the FAQ of their kickstarter for Sandrock:

What’s happened to Aadit? Is he ever coming back to Portia?

Aadit’s story is left open so that we may be able to explore it down the road. Hopefully we’ll see him return to Portia one day.

(Tho them saying "Portia" makes me wonder if they're interested in making a sequel to Portia?)

And as I mentioned earlier, there's a lot we don't know about Pen either.

One thing worth pointing out is that it's very interesting Pen has a relic weapon on him considering the Rogue Knight himself uses a relic weapon.

After The Perfect Trap mission in My Time At Portia, Django asks you what it was like fighting the Rogue Knight. When you answer "He was using ancient weapons" he replies:

Oh was he now, most knights these days use some type of relic. It's like their calling card. The real knights though, they don't need these corrupted things.

And when you ask him "What exactly is a knight?" He answers:

Didn't you have knights in Barnorock? Anyway, if you're lookin' for a history lesson, it's best you talk with Isaac. But knights are highly skilled warriors that defend the weak and balance the strong. Or that's how it's supposed to be. But nowadays…

What's interesting about these responses: Modern knights tend to use relic weapons, and that knights are highly skilled warriors that "defend the weak and balance the strong".

Pen's entire thing is that he's the Defender of Sandrock. And he has a relic weapon on him. Does this mean Pen is a knight?

Oddly enough, it's likely as Pen says as much when you speak to him once a day:

[Image ID: A screenshot of Pen with the caption of him saying: "Aren't you clad we have a knight in this town? Saving damsels and delivering justice. Of course, I'm talking about me. I'm the Protector of Sandrock." /.End ID]

Assuming Pen isn't just claiming or masquerading as a knight (considering he owns a relic weapon) could this mean he's actually working for Duvos similarly to the Rogue Knight in Portia?

I'm really on the fence about this. Pen's entire personality feels like a facade; a spy that hides in plain sight by being an egotistical windbag. A useful egotistical windbag, but a windbag nonetheless. I feel this is at least partially supported by the fact that some people write him off immediately because "he's too dumb to be a spy".

Yet at the same time.....If Grace is in Sandrock and is specifically there to help Logan find the Duvos spy, could there potentially be a third party who's also interested in helping. And if so, could that party potentially be Pen?

Probably the only bit of dialogue I've been able to find (so far) on Pen's background and why he's in Sandrock is what he says here:

[Image ID: A screenshot of Pen with the caption of him saying: "I bet you're wondering how did someone so awesome, me, end up in this unsavory place. Well, the Light told me to look after the weak, and guided me here. That's the short version." /.End ID]

Pen could be lying here considering he lies to you (almost unnecessarily) about why he wasn't present to stop Logan from destroying the water tower. Logan not only says he was there, but he was also the one responsible for destroying the water tower.

It's possible it could be just as Grace says; that he lied to avoid being blamed for destroying the water tower. But I also think if he was being honest about it, he would have to explain how he destroyed the water tower. Yes, he's a very good fighter, but the water tower literally exploded.

But let's consider he's being honest about his reasons for being in Sandrock. Judging by the way he's speaking, the "Light" he's speaking of is related to The Church of Light..... Could it be possible that he was sent by a church to Sandrock to find the Duvos spy? More specifically, could he have been sent by the High Temple in Meidi, seeing as how Meidi literally borders Duvos, making it likely that they would have easier access to information on what Duvos is doing?

I personally don't think this is likely due to the fact that Pen is intent on going after Logan. Pen alleged that he only saw Logan flee after the church collapsed while attempting to rescue Howlett. But what if he didn't? Perhaps he's going after Logan because he thinks he knows something more (particularly that there's a Duvos spy in Sandrock, and that's something that could potentially compromise him). Because the alternative in this situation is him going after Logan under the suspicion that he's the spy, which makes no sense given he's a native of Sandrock and just lost his father.

I'll end on the last thing I noticed about Pen's concept art. The pose is very similar to that of the Rogue Knight's concept art:

I was pretty reluctant to point this out because it's just a pose and this particular thing feels a bit too much like "reading too deeply into things. Especially since Arlo and Justice share similar poses, and even Logan's pose is reminiscent of the above pose. I just thought I would mention it because it threw me when I noticed how similar they were when I was looking at the thumbnails on my phone.

Just to be clear: I don't think Pen is the Rogue Knight or Aadit. I mean, I would be interested in them proving me wrong. But due to the fact that these games take place closely around the same time, I don't think it's feasible that the two are the same person.

I would, however, be interested to know if there's indeed a connection considering how some of Pen's facial characteristics are reminiscent of Aadit's, but I'd rather not speculate that far. Especially considering it hasn't been canonically confirmed that Aadit is the Rogue Knight (and we don't know where Pen grew up).

Anyway these are all my thoughts for now. Like I said, I'm not really dedicated to one line of thought. It just tickles my brain. I would like to talk more about the stories Pen, Burgess, and the others gave about the night Howlett died and compare it to Logan's. But for now I'll just end on this.

#my time at sandrock #my time at sandrock spoilers #mtas spoilers #mtas meta #mtas speculation #mtas pen #mainly posting this for myself bc it's been languishing in my drafts for months #and i don't want to delete it because i spent too much time on it

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torchiiko · 3 months

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YOU THERE

GIVE ME KINGER HEADCANONS. FOR SCIENCE

UEWAGH IDK I DONT HAVE INTELLIGENT THOUGHTS ABT HIM ummmm

im inclined to agree that his body isnt very comfortable for hugs but id like to argue his hands would probably be warm since they arent Wood. softer too but probably has a fabric texture

gangle kinger friendship is so so real to me just based on how ready they were to play rock-paper-scissors for rescuing zooble. i think she shows him her art :)

speaking of its also rlly cute that he was excited to go save zooble & that he was so relieved they were ok,,, he definitely cares abt the others id like to see him interact with everyone more

i had a post drafted abt this but it didnt rlly go anywhere But he definitely knows more than he lets on. i cant quite decide if he might be playing up his mental issues To an extent to hide what he knows or if hes 100% just like that, but jaxs comment after kinger lore drops abt how digital food works makes me think kinger doesnt let that knowledge slip very often. being there the longest (of the main cast if not ever) means hes had plenty of time to pick up on how the digital world works

theres also the theory that kinger knew kaufmo had likely abstracted, which is why he declined to go check on him. kinger probably does recognize the warning signs & he drew a parallel with kaufmos obsession with exits to pomnis insistence that she saw one. a way of warning her maybe? dare i say... foreshadowing...?

i think hes unlikely to abstract any time soon. hes made it this long even with the potential loss of a lover & who knows how many friends, itd take a Lot to break him at this point. i think i mentioned this in a kingspring post somewhere but i also think that, despite these losses, kinger doesnt close himself off to forming new relationships & befriending ppl. there mightve even been a time where he Didnt try to befriend someone before they abstracted & he regretted it

theyre all pretty animated given the stylistic choices but i like to think kinger especially talks with his hands ,,, i also like to think he fidgets with his hands now & then, the way he drummed his fingers together in the gloink queen scene,,,,

i kind of agree with the idea kinger was moreso playing into his role as royalty to appease the gloink queen than him actually believing it himself, but i wouldnt be surprised if hes been there so long hes just like "ok yeah im a king." well have to see if he references it again in other contexts

i think hes more jumpy than downright a coward? he tends to flinch a lot & thats usually from being startled, but no one was Afraid of the gloink queen at all. he didnt panic until a real threat like abstracted kaufmo showed up, & he was the one to alert caine abt the situation. he might react differently in later episodes tho

lots of ppl theorize his mentions of an insect collection relate to him potentially working on the game theyre all stuck in & looking for bugs in the code & i think thats very cool but also i think he should be an entomologist :) you can always trust a man who likes bugs ok!!! i bet he was into bug taxidermy i forgot what its called. pinning? when you put them up in the display frames?? i think he probably did that too

half of me wants to say he & queenie werent even dating... ik its a very very popular fan interpretation tho so im hesitant to go against the idea. i do think it brings up an interesting concept tho,, do ppl who get sent to the circus at the same time share a theme, assuming they even joined at the same time? what determines a persons digital body? why were they so similar?

he is sooo in love with flicker <3 (/j.... unless?)

ok thats all i got 4 now u.u iirc someone else asked abt my hcs so i tried not 2 repeat myself too much xp

#most of tha time hes just spinning around in my head #ask :)#the gift menace 🎨#ramble #👑 king of my heart - kinger 👑

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caliginouscreature · 2 years

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If you may have a fictotype, how do you tell your “noemata” apart from strongly-held headcanons or projecting?

Psychological nonhumanity is a hot topic for all kinds of debates and discussions, and understandably so. There’s tons of room for variation, and infinite possible reasons and presentations for it from copinglinking to fictherianthropy. But with non/alterhumanity of any origin, lack of “memories” is a known struggle with those wondering whether or not they may “count” (and is something I intend to dedicate a separate post to talking about later). This is where a new community term, “noema” (pronounced “no-ee-muh”), was introduced to possibly fill in an area of ambiguity left in the wake of such worries. It’s a term left rather vague on purpose, making it useful for describing many kinds of feelings.

It is often described as feeling like “just knowing” something about your ’type, whether it’s something about their body, past, home, opinions... could be anything! But, in some circumstances, how can you tell the difference between true noemata, and fan theories one has dwelled upon so long and hard that they just “feel right”? Can you trick yourself into thinking you “just know” something by forgetting how long you’ve actually thought about it? Is “feeling right” all it can take to count?

In this thinking-out-loud post, I’d like to point at the character of Snufkin from the Moomins franchise-- a character who seems like a great example to use due both to how I myself find him relatable, and how I’ve seen other Moomins fans receive and interpret him through fan content.

Isn’t he spiffy!

There is no other fandom I’ve yet been in where so many of the fans (at least in the english-speaking one, that I myself was in) had never actually interacted with the bulk of the source material. Sure, some watched the ’90s anime on youtube, but large quantities of fans never touched the books or comics (even those that have official english versions, pirated or not), or sometimes even only got their material through fanart and fanfic. A quantifiable amount of english-language Moomins fanworks from around 2019 are going off of nothing but what “feels right”.

Now, this isn’t just me looking for an excuse to whine about the shallowness of the Moomins fandom, or me trying to invalidate people who don’t really interact with the sources of their ’types. But in my opinion, it’s a comparison I can’t help but make. How far can you basically just go off of vibes? How do you know what counts?

It’s like, fascinatingly easy to get your brain used to a certain headcanon. Even some diehard Moomins fans-- ones who actually do go to the trouble of digging up and consuming obscure canon material-- could admit it’s easy to forget that Snufkin isn’t confirmed to be canonically transgender. “Trans Snufkin” is an extremely popular headcanon in the english Moomins fandom, and most who hold it, myself sometimes included, would tell you it’s because it simply “feels right”. It’s to the point that many consider it a vital part of how they write and read Snufkin!

Projecting onto a character you see a bit of yourself in is also pretty easy to do, by accident or otherwise. Most Moomins fans I see doing this do it with Moomintroll, but it’s arguably even more obvious when it’s done with Snufkin. I once saw a fic (which I won’t link, so as not to possibly get them teased), which the author admitted was written as a form of vent art, where Snufkin hated coffee... but if you read Comet in Moominland, where Snufkin is introduced, one of the very first things he ever says is asking for coffee, he likes it so much! Something similar goes for fics that make Snufkin speak any swear words, a thing he is confirmed to dislike. How much of this is active self-indulgence, and how much is due to it “feeling right” to the author? I try and notice when I may be projecting on a character or not, because I find it to be useful in my work, but we can’t all be so self-aware (and who knows, I may be less self-aware than I think!).

Back to fictotypy... I am well aware that one’s ’type ID isn’t always going to be a 1:1 to how it is in canon. To compare the phenomenon to fictives, I’ve met multiple manifestations of the same character across different systems, and none of them are identical (even if there are multiple fictives of the same character within one system!)! If someone turns out to be a Snufkin, and they can’t force themself to like coffee, that doesn’t make them any less a Snufkin. They may just be a Snufkin from an adaptation where his opinions on coffee are unclear, or a Snufkin from an AU! ... or maybe they just hate coffee that much, hehe.

But how can a Snufkin-- or someone who may be of any character/species ID-- tell their possible noemata apart from some other similar non-noemata thing? When I come to a “headcanon” or “interpretation” of something from fiction, it often feels like a process of going “Hey, it’d be cool or interesting if...” or “It could make sense that...” and then pondering and scanning canon material to possibly back it up so that it can sound legit enough to not ping as OOC to an onlooker (at least if I explain it, depending). Ponder any of these long enough, and they can wind up “feeling right”, in a way, even if I took an active role in figuring out how they might work and know they may not be truly canon. Are my numerous theories and headcanons about the species that the Groke belongs to that have little-to-no canon backup the result of me being very autistic and having an immense passion for worldbuilding, or could their combination of how I relate to the Groke herself make them evidence of noemata for a possible ID? When I get offended if Snufkin is written or treated a certain way in fanworks, is it just me being a stickler for canon compliance and feeling hurt when traits in him I relate to are demonized, or could it also be a sign I may be a Snufkin? I’m already pleased that I look a bit like him in real life, but I’m not sure I feel if I am a Snufkin, as it’s not really as intense a desire as some of my other possible IDs... folks argue that such IDs need not be intense or constant and can be experienced casually, but how can I tell the difference?

When, as beings with human brains wired to delight in such pattern recognition and ascribing meanings to the like, can anyone tell the difference? How do I tell my noemata apart from what may just be thoughts about my possible IDs that I like to have? As someone who’s questioning several possible IDs and is uncertain about ’most all of them, it’s hard for me to know the differences that define this.

A fun little question to any artists with ’types from fiction, to close this post off with: When you write or draw fanart of the character or species you may ID with to post in public, do you base their interpretation off of what you feel are your noemata, or do you tend to lean more to what will be more definitely canon-compliant? Why or why not? If you do the latter, does it make you question your ““validity””? Is making fanworks of your ID a pretty personal experience, or is it more of a separate thing you can do for fun? Does it vary?

#noemata #moomin kin #fictionkin #fictionkind #fictionkith #fictionhearted #otherkind #synpath #tagging this w moomin kin b/c it's relevant tbh. maybe a serious Snufkinkin might see this #this post is obv very much more about psychological IDs. if you get Visions or your Soul just Knows then good for u #I'm so perplexed like would I ACTUALLY have a semi-prehensile tail or do I just think it'd be nice? also who doesn't want that lol #I'm full of ponderings like that. and ones even yet more niche and specific *shrugs!!*

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yomiurinikei · 1 year

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i’ve seen you mention utsuro not being a system a couple of times and, as somebody who is ALWAYS looking for more headcanons to add to the roster, may i ask why you headcanon this? /genq

oh, why i hc utsuro as a system?? sure sure!! i wrote aaaa… well. a write-up about this but that was forever ago,, funnily enough i think i had a longer/more in depth write up for hibiki being a system (it was p much my belief for what she had in game, her behavior was 100% consistent with did, but anywayyys…), but! i definitely can break down this hc, seeing as it has basis in canon as opposed to, say, my hilarious and amazing idea of what if each of the CoU were systems

(nows probably a good time to note, while i really don’t want to get into sysc0urse, i am. moreso anti-end0. i don’t want this post in those tags, but as someone who’s been in online system communities for 5+ years, i’ve visibly seen how conversations about systems have changed and the damage that’s been inflicted on systems. a lot of beliefs going around are incredibly damaging/help no one; as a result, this theory complies with a… for lack of a better term, traumagen1c reliant understanding of did)

so!! it’s shown to us in the epilogue of dra that utsuro. is extremely traumatized <333. it’s made clear that since he was small, his parents have been behaving in such a way that led to his feeling he was only valued for his fortune. his parents were greedy, cared about material gain; it’s literally said (translations are never one to one but meaning comes across) they “saw their child as a tool to satisfy their desires” and that because of their behaviors, utsuro wound up uncared for and alone.

id say. having your parents view you as a tool for their material benefit, to the degree you couldn’t stay at home anymore, and then having to be all alone and “figure out how to survive” by yourself fits as severe trauma- utsuros age isn’t specified here, but going by the timeline we see with akane, and assuming they’re the same age, he was likely by himself by early elementary-age. this definitely slots in/sets up for him developing did- he’d be young enough his personality was still developing/etc etc yk. things go on, they dont get better; he winds up entirely hopeless, getting everything he wants except for happiness. the degree of... misery it must bring to make the impossible possible, to have anything your mind desires, but never managing to feel happy must be. uniquely painful, and it was Always Like That.

so, since we've established he's got the trauma necessary to have to detach himself in that spicy did-way, let's look at why i think he specifically has did instead of.. any other condition originating from trauma

my main argument for utsuro being a system is the stark difference between yuki, and utsuro. when it comes to the memories that were repressed for the killing game, the most comprable situation to utsuro's is akane's. both were the masterminds, who chose to have their memories repressed, so they could participate freely in the game. ("nyehhh akane's a traitor though!!" you get the point.) So both akane and utsuro repressed their memories, and eventually, regain their memories. now, when akane gets back her memories, she has a new motive, new direction behind her choices, and of course, being driven by a new cause, has different priorities, and is willing to do what it takes to achieve them. she recalls her trauma, and is launched back into survival mode, into protecting whats kept her safe before: utsuros divine luck. she states her service to utsuro is because she's indebted to him, but.. this really serves to reiterate that utsuro is defined by his luck; keep utsuro safe, bring utsuro back, all so the divine luck will return. that's relevant later; for now, back to akane, who, despite now having her memories back, ultimately chooses hope. she's swayed by what happens in the game, by the memories she made.

utsuro gets his memories back. and utsuro is not swayed. akane with her memories repressed recalled, with some accuracy, her childhood. utsuro could not do this; he had an entirely falsified belief, was convinced his beliefs were not true despite them not being able to remember them properly. where akane was able to connect all of her assorted memories, and advance forward, there is an explicit difference between yuki and utsuro. yuki has an entirely different personality, has different memories, and as shown in the bad end, yuki is capable of rectifying his experiences with his past traumas (is able to choose hope at the end), while utsuro is latched onto the beliefs instilled in him from childhood, and rather than adapt to new experiences hes supposedly had (the hope he was shown by the cast), it is core to his identity to stay the way he was. yuki is a introject (specifically a factive) based off of yuuki maeda; he split off due to junko (who gave utsuro new purpose, allowing him to advance past his trauma induced belief that his situation was unchanging), to fulfill the role the body's brain believed they had to take to continue to have meaning. the trauma utsuro experienced at a young age resulted in him struggling with compartmentalizing, and upon splitting, the new alter in the system took on a specific mantle he was told he needed to define.

when you're faced with the choice that leads to the good or the bad ending, you, the player, yuki, are spoken to by another person; another consciousness, within your head. after they chat, yuki is shown a physical representation within his mind, choosing one or the other. a.... physical conceptualized place, wherein you can speak with other identities in your head, including the ability to influence which one is in control of the body. also known as a headspace, which systems have. its... its a textbook example of what a headspace can be like.

to put it all together. utsuro was heavily traumatized as a kid, this trauma never ended, it was constantly reinforced that he only had value because of his luck, leading to him being 100% detached from the world (the ‘utsuros story’ snippet further reinforces my belief that utsuros behaviors, his extreme apathy, feels like dissociation). he develops did, which we see in-game; yuki is a alter split off to serve junkos goals, and doesn’t remember the divine luck, at least, at the point of the killing game (we could say that’s what the memory altering did to him). he gets his memories back, and we see him in headspace, in the true ending, giving front to utsuro. as utsuro hasn’t been in front, and was split off to survive with the trauma of the divine luck, he’s not impacted by the events of the game, and sticks with the mindset thats got him to where he is today, before loosing even that internal will to survive, and dying in the dra killing game

really. it’s just that it fits with what we know of his backstory, and the difference between utsuro and yuki, and how things happen with them compared to with akane, makes me think did/system! chatted with fellow “utsuro is part of a system” enthusiast sorrel of @monorails fame, sea helped me tons with organizing my thoughts and all that jazz!!!!

maybe i should bring back my akane analysis. maybe i should finally break down her vibe with utsuro. hm. anyways! this was a long post and my thoughts jump around a lot so if anything’s too scattered/doesn’t make sense, just send me an ask!!! at the end of the day it is all fun and games and i like to talk so. feel free to come chat!

#dra #sdra2 #utsuro #next up: how divine luck comes at the price of otherwise ceasing to exist /hj #analysis

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fictionfixations · 1 year

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mha quirk stuff (speculation + thoughts stuff)

so so (MANGA SPOILERS. also i got severely off topic, question or headcanon-ish [What if Aizawa's quirk didn't work on Deku?] is just what got it started)

uhhhhhhhhhhhh iirc in the anime it does work but like

quirk factor. would deku have one? does ofa count???? logically not exactly cause a quirk is in the dna (BUT to get ofa you have to swallow dna, but afos quirk doesnt work like that he just hand-to-face. but quirk stuff. what, he sucks out a part of the dna the quirk resides in? or what if the quirk factor thing doesnt go in them but rather the quirk does when he gives it away, but it doesnt exactly mingle with the dna.. take aoyama. the quirk drawback is a bad stomach [at first for like a second] which doesnt make sense since youd think hed have some sort of resistance, like if he was born with it [[UNLESS THE RESISTANCE PART ISNT A QUIRK BUT GENES. LIKE TOUYAS RESISTANCE TO COLD DESPITE HIS FIRE QUIRK]], but no, the body is completely normal, or quirkless basically,. its not a fully reasonable drawback. and then theres deku whos drawback is that the quirk is too powerful, which itself is a key that 'this is not mine'. i think that the quirk grows with the user so it wouldnt have such a volatile drawback, but it could be just from adaption and genes so that drawbacks arent so bad. like bakugo wont seriously hurt his hands from igniting an explosion from them i completely lost my point. ), and there IS the thing about the body possibly rejecting it-- oh what if dekus body rejected ofa? like yknow how ppl transplant hearts and stuff- i cant recall if it was just for artificial stuff but there IS the chance that the body rejects it for various reasons

then again you couldnt reason its cause of a lack of quirk factor (but if i go with the theory that afo just gives the quirk and the body has to figure out a way for it to mingle with said dna then logically instead of a quirk factor thingy then thered be some rumors of the body rejecting that dna and basically attacking itself, see what i was talking about), because the quirk factor would come from First, who then would be trading off that quirk factor to the next... but then how do multiple quirk factors work? they dont because it leads to nomus sorta ish. (except the doctor guy is the one making them into what they are) id like to think its what happens in demon slayer when Muzan's blood (how he turns them into demons) is with someone incompatible and instead kills them or something but i couldnt say okay this is why i cant put my thoughts down, leave it to eat dinner, then forget about this and watch anime. im like re-reading, elaborating on some point then it not making sense because then i try to elaborate a different point

i feel like deku when hes writing stuff down muttering, then rereading what hes writing while writing and getting completely sidetracked because then he goes back to erase some stuff and elaborate but then hes also thinking about the other stuff he wrote and getting sidetracked again because.... y e a h

take this weird rant i was just curious about the possibility of the body rejecting a quirk, which brought up muzan from demon slayer who infuses his blood into humans to turn them into demons (who id like to think could be nomus in mha with the blood and quirk thing. actually what if afo gave quirks by giving them his blood via quirk transfer hand thing), and sometimes those humans dont turn and in some way reject them and die which point above ^ actually what if the rejects were nomu since one person cant handle multiple quirks (ok but what if the rejects regardless if there were any became nomu because hey, a perfectly good body! but if they exist how do the body mingle with new quirks? they cant unless theyre alive and heart beating for their body to actually work, but there ARE those who talk, like the high end i think. so they id think have some sort of life in them..? but hoW but shigaraki is a thing who died and then revived in the thing to get prepared for use of afo so revival IS a thing u nless its just cause afo is afo but . ....?????????). i th i was gonna say i think it was said somewhere but then i remembered nagant who had her og quirk and the floating one

she wasnt insane or whatever and she DOES have conscious thought considering she HAS turned sides- not a spy because afo fuckin exploded her when she failed

...i..

im gonna shut up now

the amount of times ive gone back to elaborate is so many that this makes zero sense now anyway take this anyway

#mha spoilers #manga spoilers #random thoughts #speculation #this makes no sense

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nonbinarykai · 3 years

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Fixing up elemental powers lore for Tommy the post

Notes: this is mostly headcanon/theory ((headtheory?)) and very little of It is based on canon. This is because the timeline is a mess and id much rather come up with something else. If you have any other points from canon you’d like to mention then I’d love to hear it. But I will be mainly ignoring anything that semi proves otherwise because again, timeline is a mess.

S15 spoilers ahead

So… s15 introduced a lot about elemental powers, most of which directly contradicts what has already been established. And because, like always, Tommy is no help. I wanted to try to see if I can come up with something on my own to fix this confusing puzzle together.

The first spinjitzu master didn’t create the elemental powers

Im not quite sure why tommy is still so admit on trying to say this is the case when s15 directly disproves this.

The existence of a water elemental master BEFORE the fsm ever appeared in ninjago straight up tells us he wasn’t the one who actually made the elemental powers, and implied he wasn’t the one who gave it to the masters either.

Hell, if anything, it would make more sense if the fsm mastered all the elements by training under elemental masters. It would explain why he never mastered water and supposedly air if they were never involved with him to begin with.

It would make sense for the fsm to be able to learn how to master these without having his own element. He’s half dragon and half oni which relay on creation and destruction ((which I also don’t think are elements but I’ll get to that)). So he could easily learn to use elements with his dragon powers.

Another bit of evidence to prove the fsm didn’t give the elemental powers to people is because if he did then why did he need the golden weapons? If he had the elements he could just make ninjago without the weapons anyways.

So then where did the elements come from?

While there is no real answer to that because, well duh, we can atleast attest that elemental masters aren’t JUST a ninjago thing.

For one, not many people know this but ninjago isn’t the whole realm, it’s a single continent and there are more continents in the realm. Paleman and tox are from another series called ultra agents, which sure as hell doesnt take place in ninjago.

And second, the elemental dragons in the first realm seem to have elemental powers aswell, hell it’s been implied that they might actually have stronger powers then the normal elemental masters

So then where did they come from? Well there are some possibilities

1. The dragon themselves, they can travel through realms and also they could create humans ((I mean look at fsm)) it’s also implied any large reptile creature can realm travel because of wojira being mentioned in the never realm

2. The realm spirits or whatever the fuck the preeminent is

3. The elements are there own beings that can affect who has elemental powers

Elementals could exist ((I know this is headcanon territory but shut up and let me have this))

Do you guys remember those little animal badges

These things

They were on the ninja gi’s up until s8 where they just disappeared

They seem directly tied to the ninja themselves, because Kai has his lion badge even when he was a kid.

And in s2 you can see them in the pillars for the elemental blades

Is almost like those symbols are meant to be direct representations of the elemental power

I’d also like to point out the golden weapons, they aren’t able to use specific elements ((like fire)) UNLESS its in there actual weapon form

And yet when Kai recreates them in s10, they still work even though there not exact replications

What if the specific elemental powers come from the dragon symbols? The golden weapons can’t use the element unless the dragon symbol is there to access that power. And because dragon elemental powers are more powerfully the symbols only work on the golden material.

What if the animal symbols work the same? And that people are Able to create spells, weapons, and such that use those powers.

As for where the elementals would live, well…

Elements were formed from space, it would make sense if they lived in space and were using there powers to create realms and give other people a bit of there power

And also I just think it would be cool if the sun was a being that’s the center of the realms, much like how the sun is the center of our solar system

I don’t think wu, garm, and Lloyd have elemental powers Im sorry

there’s little actual evidence to prove that garm, wu, and Lloyd have elemental powers

They don’t appear on any elemental power lists

Chen didn’t need garm or wus powers to finish his spell even though water and wind are the only ones the fsm didn’t master

Lloyd’s power itself is super confusing because it’s never named outside of “green” but s15 saying that the fsm only mastered them could mean that he just passed down mastering the powers to Lloyd.. somehow?

If anything it’s more likely that there got there destruction and creation powers bc of the combination of oni and dragon blood, nothing elemental

And at this point if Lloyd does have a elemental power tommy needs to stop being a coward and actually say it

Summary

So my new sexy and powerful lore for ninjago elemental powers is that

A bunch of elemental beings came into existence when space was created ((by like idk a Big Bang or something)), they created the 16 realms and gave each of them there own set of elemental masters, the older realm elemental masters are the strongest while the newer ones are the weakest because of the elementals slowly giving away there power. They gave the elemental masters there powers so they can project/create there realm more then the elementals have already done.

#ninjago #kai smith #ninjago kai #ns15 #ns15 spoilers

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gerrydelano · 4 years

Photo

he isn’t cited with them in 2009, but has them in 2011, so just sometime in between then! i usually put it in 2010 thereabouts just to be Even.

i have a LOT to say about his tattoos (and his affiliation with the beholding in general) so the rest of this is under the cut! my asks are still broken and this got long. tumblr is a functioning website

[ID under the cut]

ASK: I probably missed something but where in the timeline do you think that gerry got his tattoos? And do u think theres reasons beyond the ones listed in canon? (That I also uh cant really remember lmao)

(warning: it’s 2:30 am and this is VERY sloppy but! you activated my gerry card)

i think the reason for them can definitely vary; i’ve seen a lot of really badass and thoughtful headcanons about it!

silly/simple angles first:

he basically sees them as a protective sigil (they literally did protect him from the lightless flame, in places)

his joints are shitty (EDS king) so he put those sigils over them like hey fortify my bones

he honestly just thinks they’re sick as hell and did it purely for the aesthetic

I HAVE A THEORY ABOUT HIS BEHOLDING POWERS OVERALL THAT’S CONNECTED TO HOW HE PUT THEM OVER HIS JOINTS

okay so take mag 12 and how he knew the code to that room, and how his exposition to jon was all about the color map of the entities all bleeding into each other and are only distinguished by arbitrary means sometimes like. i think his natural inclination is towards making connections and mapping out what connects one thing to another, inherently problem solving, everything is linked.

putting the eye tattoos over the connective points in his body that hold him together is very, very symbolic.

(also he’s an EDS king but that’s just me being correct and super cool)

but MORE importantly i really like the interpretation that he’s sort of banging pots and pans at the beholding all the damn time like “hello! pick me pick me!” take that painting of his, and the prayer under it. he’s Begging to be Seen.

he just has a very clear and DELIBERATE tie to the beholding, and in terms of the tattoos i just think it’s another way that he he really leaned into it on purpose. this meta by parker @cuttlefishkitch is great and touches on it as being something he did to take some control in his life!

something i probably won’t use in pbr word for word but will in sentiment is this:

“i wanted her to feel watched. by something bigger than me, but that she couldn’t get rid of as long as she kept me around. i wanted her to feel like she’d get hers someday, even if i couldn’t do a damn thing myself. because i couldn’t. i had to fight back differently.”

mary surely Doesn’t Want That In Her House/doesn’t want him to align himself with any singular entity anyway. so he may have literally even picked the one that’d piss her off the most/inconvenience her as a caveat to keeping him trapped. and what better way to remind her of his chosen affiliation - his refusal to do what she wants - than to put it All over him where she can’t Possibly NOT see it every time she looks at him.

now here’s the part where i just infodump about gerry because i feel like it and i have thoughts i want to Say jdhkjfghdfhj sorry this is such a tangent from what you were asking, you don’t gotta keep reading.

angel @ofdreamsanddoodles said to me once, he’s less of a monster hunter and more of a baby monster himself and that’s honestly what i run with when i write him. he goes for the artifacts, he saves people, but he doesn’t seem to draw the line between “good/evil” at whether you’re Technically Human or otherwise. both m*ry and gertrude were technically human and they were two of the most monstrous things he ever encountered.

gertrude admonishes his natural curiosity in the recent episode and tells him the perks of being aligned don’t outweigh the shackles of the institute and whatnot, which kind of implies that he? actually was kind of pursuing that, and i think it’s really interesting to play around with because it’s definitely not for Power Hungry reasons y’know? it’s a lot different. a lot more rooted in reclamation, in To Know Is To Be Safer, in I Want To Be Seen.

i write him very strongly as him believing that knowing the details of your circumstance is the best way to be safe and get out of it, or cope with it better, and he believes very heavily in Honesty and being Upfront about your intentions and what you know. he doesn’t get cagey he doesn’t keep secrets he tells people to their face that they’re in danger even if they don’t understand because he isn’t about to just... leave them to it. honest. revealing Everything.

dude is COVERED in EYES. he wants other people to see things, too. that could be another reason; just signifying one of his strongest beliefs. OPEN your EYES.

also i think a lot about the way he talks to the nurse in mag 12. “yes. for you, better the beholding than the lightless flame.” like he’s actively out here Talking Up His Preferred Entity fksdjfhksdj

and that isn’t to say he thinks it’s Good or something. but i think he thinks it’s Better than some others, and at least something he can make into a tool to help people. using it to See danger, and then REJECTING its nature by DOING something about it instead of just Watching, is very. ugh. i love him.

cuz the beholding is tied to your suffering being witnessed but nothing being done about it; i think for himself, he wanted someone to actually see that he was going through something because it seems that no one’s ever acknowledged it. but the deviation from it is that his actual personality and motivations lead him to Do Something About problems when he comes across them, much like jon does! two of a kind.

either way, his affiliation with it is simultaneously a rejection and rebellion, just like his whole Everything with m*ry. aggressively passive aggressive icon.

OKAY I NEED TO STOP basically i just:

reclaiming agency by aligning VISIBLY and UNAVOIDABLY with a singular entity that his mum didn’t want in her vicinity, which is very beholdingcore in concept and practice

the Connective Link theory & his joints

he probably really did just think they looked sick as hell (correct)

#gerard keay #gerry delano #gerry #ronologues #not REALLY but yeah it goes there #asks #anon #You've Activated My Gerry Card

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lilolilyr · 3 years

Text

Fics I Wanted To Write This Year But Didn't, Part 2: Star Trek AU

For @spookyvoidangelskeleton for this ask

Now I suppose these would have been several fics, but in a series or a collection as they're all about the same main storyline: The collapsing of a (or several) universe(s).

If you've known me for a while, you know that I am very into Multiverse Theory, both real life and fictional, and Star Trek with the Mirror Universe is of course one of the first fandoms that comes to mind for me to write my batshit ideas in xD

Basically, in my personal little (fictional, bc I know and understand 0 about real life physics or whatever would be relevant for this) multiverse theory, there are an infinite number of universes, evenly spread around the multiverse, and a new universe comes into existence when a timeline/universe (same thing) can go into 2 seperate ways naturally, or when there is timetravel involved to manually change a timeline: The original timeline won't be affected, you can't change what's already there, but a new changed timeline will be created.

Now, in some cases that works out well, with the timetraveller ending up in the new timeline and never knowing that their original universe is still out there- in other ways of time travelling, not so much. If the person trying to make a change manages to do just that but never notices, because they or a version of them is stuck in the orginal timeline, what do they do?

Try again, with the same result, many many times.

And that's where it gets problematic, because the multiverse gets unbalanced, and whether you see it as a sentient entity connected to the Qs in Star Trek or just as something that Works That Way automatically: the multiverse doesn't want to be out of balance, so the new universes start to collapse in on each other, creating a Splitter-verse and leaving its inhabitants to a fate arguably worse than death (in this fictional world): they completely stop to exist. This doesn't just affect the new universes but the surroundings ones, which would have split earlier and are already more different from each other, too, to make sure the one that was the cause for it all falls, too.

Now (of course, because I can't help myself) this would be part of @thelucyverse , with there being Central people trained in spotting such time anomalies before it is too late, but with there also being time-bombs (yeah hahah) created in inter-universal wars to create smaller, controlled splitter-verses (I say small and controlled here but like. We're still talking about entire universes), and with Central having back-up plans to get people out of the 'verses, in order as follows: anyone visibly IDing as Central (the organisation is still largely volunteer-based, shit's got to have some perks), then everyone whose energy indicates recent travel in-between universes, as these are also most likely to a) be Central and b) be okay in a new 'verse, after that, if there is still time and anyone willing to go back into the falling universe, children as they are also more likely to adapt in a new world. If there is enough warning, they also get out whoever people Central members want to have saved, but usually it just turns into whoever stands close enough to grab and get the hell out of there.

Whether taking people out of a universe against their will is a good thing or nah is ...debatable and still being debated amongst those who do it and those who think that taking someone away from the possibility of dying death in their own universe is vile (as amongst most religions, it is thought that you can only reach the same afterlife as those who died in the same umiverse- but again most also think that there probably won't even Be an afterlife in a splitter-verse).

Sometimes, people are also pushed out of the universe by the explosion itself, but they then tend to die upon impact as they seldomly end up exactly at the coordinates where they left, which leaves them either suffocating in hard matter or in space.

If you want to use these ideas for your own fanfic feel free, just give me credit and link this post as inspired by/ link to my ao3 or @ my tumblr!

Anyhow! To Star Trek... and I suppose this is now SPOILERS not rly for any Star Trek canon but for these fanfics, if I do end up writing them!

I tend to forget which characters are canon and which are complete OCs because I spend Way more hours on tumblr and ao3 + thinking about my own headcanons than I spend consuming the original media, but I am fairly certain a canon Joana McCoy, daughter of Leonard 'Bones' McCoy exists? If no and I stole the idea from sb else's fanfic I am sincerely sorry. Gotta look that up.

In one universe close to what would be the centre of the splitterverse, Joana- as a young child nicknamed 'Jojo', but now as a young teen trying to get rid of the childish nickname- has a younger part-vulcan girl as a friend, and this girl, nicknamed Aka, has, through having sticky fingers and connections to Central, a device that allows you to jump between universes. She's used it before and gotten into a lot of trouble for it, but to her it had always been great fun- until reality is starting to collapse around them while she is visiting Joana, and Joana is the only person she can reach in time and take with her to the next universe.

Distraught, the children are left in a new world, debating what to do, waiting for Central to contact them, hoping that they saved their families- but of course, Central has quite some different problems right now and won't contact them any time soon, and even if they did it wouldn't be with news of their parents: the adult families of non-Central members who only happened to have jumped between universes before themselves are really not the top priority, and the universe is collapsing too quickly to even get down the prio list to 'children',

Aka wants to leave the universe again and look for Central elsewhere, hoping that her moving around will attract their attention. Joana has enough from universe jumps for a lifetime. Thus, they part ways.

While Aka at some point does run into a group of Central troubeshooters who more or less adopt her as one of their own and teach her how to work their equipment and use magic and weapons and starships (not what a child her age should be learning. But then, none of the adults there ever signed up to be a parent, so who's to blame them), Joana goes looking for her family in this world.

Now I could write entire novels about Akas adventures and how it may or may not be healthy to not have a home at all and decide to not rely on anybody instead of either finding new versions of her original parents or letting someone new into her life properly (spoileralert: it isn't healthy at all), and how meeting a girl from one of the original splitter-verses (the not bombed ones) telling her not to make the same mistakes she made finally makes her think about her choices and and and, but this post is already going to be Long so I won't. That would all be a seperate fanfic anyways.

Joana finds a girl her age who looks just like her and acts almost exactly like her, too- the only difference seems to be that there's no Aka around, which made this version of her less used to adventure but also less wary of it.

The version of Joana from this universe- she decides to call herself Joan when they are alone, while the Joana we already know goes with 'Jojo'- her once loathed childhood nickname now a connection to her past- is thrilled to meet her and begs her to stay, I mean what is cooler than suddenly having a twin, and won't it be fun there is so much they can do! As their parents are seperated, they manage to spend their time mostly at one of their homes, either together when the parent is too busy to notice that there are two kids around, or one at each place, guessing correctly that if the parents were to talk about it, they wouldn't even think of the possibility of there being two children and instead just get mad at each other.

This goes on for a few months during the summer, with Jojo feeling vaguely guilty both to her original dead parents and these new ones who think that she is their real daughter, and the girls are just deciding about what to do when school starts again when-

Reality breaks apart around them.

Jojo clings to Joan in fear, and- as Jojo is now on the list of people who have travelled between universes in the past, she is saved by Central, and Joan with her. They are placed into a universe further away this time, a safe distance to the only slowly contained Splitters.

Meanwhile, in the same universe, two people were currently out on a space-walk: Michael Burnham and Philippa Georgiou.

They are thrown out of the universe in the explosion, and as they are wearing their suits, they survive as they end up somewhere in space again, but- they don't end up in the same universe. Michael ends up about 20-30 years earlier in a universe further away, and she doesn't even end up in what would've been federation space in her old 'verse. Philippa is only thrown one universe to the left and picked up by Central. As Central likes to name their acquaintances in some way that makes it easier to identify just which version of a person you are talking to without having to add the long universe number (even harder when the universe was destroyed and there isn't a known number), they ask Philippa to pick a new name. She is way too rattled and desperate to go looking for Michael as quickly as possible to care about what name she is supposed to have, so she goes with the first option given to those who don't have their own nickname ideas: lastname for firstname, making her Georgiana, short Gia.

Through Central, she finds out that the universal explosion left her and Michael connected- but it won't be much help in the search, basically just a way to say 'alright this verse is closer to it than that one', it's still trial and error... (I could also involve some body switching here, idk I already wrote a long fanfic with that trope in the Andromaquynh fandom, but I happen to Like that trope so yeah maybe I'll recycle some parts of In Your Stead if I ever do manage to write this Milippa story. Which, btw, if not already obvious, would again be a seperate fic from the Joana universal-sister story. On the other hand, Aka runs into Georgiana a lot, even calling her 'auntie Gia').

Meanwhile, Michael doesn't have to jump through universes but make her way through just the one universe to get to federarion space. Except what she find's isn't the federation at all... you guessed it, the 'verse she ended up in is more similar to a mirrorverse than to Prime. However, the Georgiou of this world isn't the emperor yet, she's young and Michael is able to influence her enough over the years so that she turns her back to the Empire.

Yes, it takes years for Michael and Gia to find their way back to each other, maybe decades... they also wouldn't have spent exactly the same amount of time apart as they aren't in the same 'verse. In fact, Cleo of Central carefully tells Gia that Michael might have died by now, but of course Georgiana doesn't want to hear this.

Michael and that universe's Georgiou also get quite close, though Michael doesn't want to cheat on her Philippa... of course, after years of this, she might think that she will never see Philippa again... (We are approaching ot3 territory here lol, and I don't even want to think about the potential of ot7 with the two canon mirror and prime versions adsfghjkl because if I finish this story here, I would 100% write a lil fix it where Central! Gia Mikay and Phil go fish Mirror! Michael and Georgiou out of a splitter-verse into the next prime verse in which Michael already knows that Georgiou... and ad they're already at it they also get half dead! Prime Philippa away from the Klingons... heheh sounds like the kind of poly chaos I would enjoy writing, but sadly I have to make it through all the Plot first)

Anyway! Back to Jojo and Joan: they decide that while they maybe should have told Joan's family about Jojo's existence soon if they had stayed in that 'verse, the initial idea of staying with one's universals wasn't so bad, so they go looking for this universe's Joana McCoy. The girl- (nicknamed Anna, which makes Joan decide to change hers from Joan to June because she doesn't want to be half Jojo and half Anna), is happy enough to meet them, but often feels left out from the other two as they act as if they've known each other forever even though of course it's only been a few months... In turn, Jojo and June aren't sure whether Anna really wants them around, whether she might think they're trying to steal her life and family from her...

Lots of potential for conflict! Yay! XD would of course come to a happy ending, with at least Bones accepting his three daughters, dunno yet whether they'd tell the mom... also Aka ends up in the same universe at some point, together with a version of her vulcan birthmother who she had never known the original version of but now gets along with alright... oh and if I do write aforementioned Milippa ot7 bullshitery, this would also be the Prime!verse for that, so all stories in the series or collection interconnect again!

this got... long... and I could obviously go on but I need to go back to writing my Bachelor thesis :(

@whoever read through all of this, do let me know whether you like these ideas and which you would like to read proper fanfic for! Might influence future writing decisions.

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miaxeu · 4 years

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though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, MIA STOEGER is actually a descendent of DIONYSUS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-ONE year old MYTHOLOGICAL STUDIES MAJOR from LOS ANGELES, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite CHARISMATIC & DUPLICITOUS.

( y’all dont deserve this real messy intro but im workin w half a bwain cell at 4am so i beg thee 4 mercy. nywyy im the excited new girl who’s hella pumped to meet all ur charas : katya ! feel free to hop in my ims to plot or drop a like and i’ll hop in urs ! x )

POWERS

natural acting abilities — her ma’s a hollywoo agent so she started actin real early & now shes a big shot actress. there r more deetz on her career below !

chlorokinesis — it wasnt as natural as acting n she only started working on it when she turned 13 n started going to camps. b4 she just noticed shes good w plants but it wasnt super crazy or nything. its p good now tho ! shes prioritizing vine binding and manipulation 4 the self defense bc awards r cool n all but they dont rlly protecc from monsters ykwim

levitation — shes trying her best ur honor

alcokinesis — she cant conjure it or anything, she’s just immune to it ffff

BIO POINTS — cw: drug use ( full biography here )

her mom raised her by herself bc dionysus the party god was out of the picture immediately. she never told mia she’s a demigod & it was always just “ wow ur so talented ” or “ aww u got a green thumb ! ” but when she saw him claim 13 y/o mia by placing a weird hologram over her head while she slept, she knew she had to spill da beanz & tell her kid

ofc mia thought her mom was jus playing sum weird acting exercise w her bc her powers r so lowkey she could highkey just be a Mortal but insert sad whistle, the realizashun & the claiming meant heightened monster threat !! so yea ,,, one ended up chasing her a couple days later rip

aside from the trauma, mia was ok. mostly bc she ended up cryin for dionysus like any child would n lo & behold he came & helped !!! as he should. nywy she made sure to go to summer camps every year after that but mostly just for protection purposes

she lowkey rlly hates this whole god business esp now that shes grown lmfao deadass thinks she got a bad deal bc life threats arent sexy !!! went to eonia eventually bc its Too Much Man. she just wants to go back to work and her life w the mortals w/o worryin for her life. would deadass fade her father if she could. may or may not be majoring in greek mythology to figure out the logistics of it all out of spite, who knows !

PERSONALITY

not ! a Drama Queen — dont get me wrong, shes hella Extra in the way she moves n acts sorta like shes always bein captured on film. is quick-witted & playful & can be a huge tease/flirt if she feels like it, but miss her w Real Feelings ! totally not sentimental. srsly she will try to rationalize away everything and is just,.,., not good w it. so soz folks, we just keepin it breezy here

ugh, she’s an Actress — aka she can act like she cares tho ! shes very much into keeping ppl on her good side. shes friendly n palatable to everyone bc its how shes been trained & while it doesnt seem fake, its def diff when its genuine

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known — lemme circle back to the first one, ok so shes good w emotions but only in theory. does intense character work with her roles so she thinks that counts as her having eq when rlly shes just emotionally stunted, projecting n repressing like an idiot

blonde, skinny, rich, & a lil bit of a Bitch — shes only a bitch inwardly or to ppl she trusts enuff to let in on the gossip. if anyone full on opposes her or becomes real emotional, then this lil diva will rear its superiority complex head n snap a lil. will most probably do it v underhandedly n w a smile but it will be Brutal

girls just wanna have FUN ! — shes the child of da party god, so ofc she a true party girl. officially off the rails when she parties. inhibitions ? we dk her. can be insensitive in that case bc smtms its truly no strings attached, tis all abt the fun. likes company a lot & it doesnt even have 2 be loud or particularly abt her, she just likes having people around n the escapism of it all. will make friends with everyone n make sure they have a jolly fun time guaranteed at dionysus parties

Work Hard, Play Hard — real responsible when it comes to work and commitments and if she trusts/likes u enough, she’ll give it 2 u straight, no bs. def thinks Calling Out is an act of love but maybe does it a lil too harshly smtms. v much into efficiency, sentiments be damned. not the feely words type. will sit next to u or party w u or even pay 4 ur therapist if u need sum1 to talk to. she will Be There while u work thru it, so long as u dont expect her to change n be all emotional n stuff

if she seems a lil contradictory thats bc she kinda is. tis the good ol nurture vs nature. her ma’s a real no nonsense chick n her pops is a frat guy drama geek greek god whos rlly into cottagecore so u get this lil blonde bitch whos sorta teetering on the edges

OTHER INFO — cw: drug use ( full headcanons here )

re her career, she achieved pegot status when she was 18 aka she truly b dat bitch. shes not super mainstream famous tho, more like indie sweetheart, film snobs/critics fave typa gal. if ya want a trajectory she started w baby commercials then a sitcom from 4-10 ( think modern fam’s lily ) then it was off to the big screen & the stage !

mia has a lil bit of a drug habit. its not abusive or dependent, but it is a staple whenever shes parties bc alcohol is useless 2 her. started a lil young too bc hollywoo. primarily uppers/hallucinogens. she smokes weed a lil more liberally but the rest is mostly just an on occasion thing ( which, ngl, is a still a lil problematic when u party a lot rip )

after she got claimed, mia ended up going to demigod camps in a lot of diff places n countries, depending on where production would take her. there was never an established place, more like wherever was nearest when they wrapped up shooting bc monsters afoot n wutnot

she was always homeschooled but she still managed to go to a prom and homecoming bc party is life. that makes eonia uni p much her first chance at having a normal educational environment & experience and even then its anything but. still tho this is her moment !!! im lit rally begging her to get a personality that isnt her internally rolling her eyes going “ its not that deep ”

might put up a bio/stats page if im feelin sxc but i wud jus like the records to show that mia stoeger is a bi sxc babe bc me ? write a het ? no grassy ass.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS — cw: drug use ( full connections here )

omg danny devito i love ur work !

,,, p self explanatory sdkjfs sum1 who loves her work ! it can be lowkey/highkey fangirl to a civil admiration

OR alternatively, y/m can Not Be a fan of her work. they might think the storyline of the projects she takes on r too out of touch n highbrow yada yada yada, but yes, we love to see either of it !

summer camp sweetheart !

someone she met when at camp when they were teens ? doesnt matter in what country/city, but mia was only visiting so it was truly a one summer romance typa thing. bc she was younger, im thinkin 13-17 or w/e she was probably sweeter n a lot more emotional then. was it either’s first puppy love ? first kiss ? first “ relationship ? ” idk, do yk ? truly, so many possibilities. nothin set in stone just hmu bub

summer camp pals !

p much the same as above but make it Platonic

party buddies !

or druggie pals. either way works but she wud luv it if theyre both xoxo

friends w benefits !

most probably ( but not limited to ) sum1 she met at a party skdjhsjk is it exclusive ? is any1 starting to develop feelings ? im down 4 nthing n evrything

alexa play true friend by hannah montana !

give mia her college bestie ! her confidant who knows her feels and can call each other out viciously with no ounce of resentment. we stan the friendships !

omg i love ur skirt !

that is the ugliest effing skirt i've ever seen. lmao basically sum1 mia pretends to like or acts civil w but rlly ,,,, Cannot Stand for w/e rzn

im p much braindead rn but those are just sum ideas !!! ofc the usual staples like the pals, enemies, wutnots are also v welcome we love to see it. if u also have a wc that u think mia would fit in, id luv to know more ! there are also a couple more detailed ones here, but pls feel free to shoot me a msg n we can get 2 plotting x

( * wipes brow * how did i type so much n say so little rip. mia is also a completely new muse so pls b patient n if i fuq up from time to time, pretend u do not see >.< nywy thnx 4 readin, sweets ! feel free to hmu here or at discord if ya wanna <3333 )

FULL INFO || EONIA TASKS

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uraharashouten · 4 years

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@deivorous said:

What does Kisuke's inner world look like? Did it change substantially after he artificially manipulated Benihime?

First of all, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this ask, because it was high time I wrote an inner world masterpost. It’s taken me some time to compose my thoughts on this, not because I hadn’t arrived at a good working knowledge of Kisuke’s inner world, but because of the second part of your question -- did it change?

It’s worthwhile to remind ourselves of how Kisuke forced his bankai without Benihime’s consent. There’s an excellent post on how he quite possibly perverted her powers in the process; or at least, their aesthetic. Personally, I’ve always imagined her as being a little passive-aggressive towards him on account of it as well -- though they are, after all, two sides of the same soul.

So let me begin with the first part -- his inner world. I have to say, first off, that several things have fed into my headcanons, so I’ll just take you on that journey.

First of all, my starting point was heavily influenced by @saranel’s fiction Mono no Aware; specifically, the fact that at the center of Kisuke’s inner world there stands a maple tree. And that’s actually a good starting point, since Benihime is actually the name of a variety of maple:

Considering how profoundly the Shihōin -- one clan member in particular -- influenced him from the time of his youth, the maple theme was something with which I was on board (四楓院家 meaning House of the Four Maples).

The tree itself also became, for me, a good way to symbolize branching possibilities. In probability theory, a tree diagram may be used to represent a series of independent events or conditional probabilities. Each node on the diagram represents an event and is associated with the probability of that event, and the diagram branches into likely outcomes of each event. Imagining a thousand different possible outcomes is canonically his gift, and I think it’s wonderfully illustrated in this post.

I have always seen Urahara Kisuke as someone with a fluid, flexible mind, infinitely resourceful, a bricoleur of materials and opportunities around him; and his inner world would reflect that, being a place of constant making, un-making, and re-making.

@saranel, incidentally, wrote her magnum opus long before Chapter 665, which makes her surprisingly prescient with what she imagined for Kisuke’s bankai. She didn’t guess it exactly, but she got enough right. This passage from her fic’s chapter notes are relevant to Kisuke’s inner world:

So in the bankai entry, I liken Kisuke's bankai to the universe and the way it works. The idea behind his inner world is somewhat similar. The first time he manages to enter it, he is originally lost in this vast, endless darkness. As soon as he has mastered his fear, he finds himself in a solitary island of sorts, where a large maple tree dominates the small area. When he tries to gain some distance and explore further, he discovers he is unable to go far, walking in place while never managing to escape the confines of that small island. This was all meant to be a reference to the beginning of the universe, wherein everything was said to exist in an infinitely condensed form, until the event we know as the Big Bang, which caused that extremely condensed piece of matter to explode, its pieces scattering and forming our known universe.

I’ve kept the maple tree and the Big Bang (countless possibilities encapsulated, waiting to be expanded), and I’ve built upon these ideas for my own headcanons.

The tree itself varies in appearance. Acer palmatum ‘Beni hime’ are actually a dwarf maple tree variety, but in Kisuke’s inner world the tree can grow huge, taking over the entire sky. Depending on his current mood or circumstances, it may be covered with the verdant, tender leaves of spring, or the colorful red-hued leaves of full summer, or the branches may be barren and forlorn. it may be thriving or desolate. Here’s an excerpt describing it from my Battle in the Inner World thread with @sphaeraa:

Benihime smiled beatifically and gazed upward toward the spreading maple.

Initially actual scale, it had grown, stretching its branches far and wide across the ceiling-sky; their thickness waning with each division, yet never seeming to reach a visible termination.

“Do you like our Probability Tree?” asked a Kisuke, from somewhere off to the left.

“I thought we were calling it our Tree of Branching Possibilities,” commented the Princess, wryly. “It is more poetic.”

Threadwork is part of Benihime’s aesthetic; whether putting the sutures on a surgical revision or pulling the strings to manipulate an outcome. In peaceful moments, Benihime herself can be found sitting beneath the maple tree, working on her embroidery. She’s never satisfied with it, always getting so far with it before plucking out the stitches and beginning again. I discussed this headcanon quite awhile back with a Benihime roleplayer, who wrote about it beautifully.

Here’s another description from this thread with @adelha-mathilde:

The tree. That tree, larger than any maple he imagined he might ever see in the flesh. It stood in the center of his world, a constant amidst constant change. Oh, not that the tree was ever the same; it was spring or it was fall, it was young and tender or old and stately. Sometimes its branches spread the entire breadth of the sky. Sometimes they were laden with moss; other times with snow. They were black and bare or tan and laden with verdant leaves, or auburn. But always it was there; always she waited beneath it, nimble jointed fingers pushing the bone-needle through the weave of her embroidery, which, too, was always the same and yet never the same. She bathed in its shadow and when he visited her there, he did, too. It was their tree.

As to the world itself, the landscape around the tree is constantly shifting and changing, such that a visitor would feel very disoriented. Again, from that aforementioned thread with @sphaeraa, here’s a descriptive excerpt:

The dark-haired, regal figure shot him an unreadable glance and squared her shoulders. As she did so, the room, which resembled a cluttered spare room, grew to accommodate her increasing stature. Crates and furniture unfolded and reorganized proportionally to the change in space. The ceiling overhead became bright blue sky, then star-specked night, then ceiling again. She glanced at her feet, and the pattern and color of the rug beneath them rippled and shifted. Her embroidery lay, unfinished – forever unfinished – on a table in the corner. She glanced at it with a sigh of dissatisfaction. That would have to wait. Books rearranged themselves on shelves; in alphabetical order, then by color, then by size. Behind her stood the only constant, if such it could be called – a large, spreading maple. Its branches were, at the moment, laden with leaves of a healthy deep red hue – clearly thriving. It had not always been so, and likely would not be, but now it was in its prime.

And now, as to the question of whether this inner world has changed due to Urahara Kisuke’s manipulations of Benihime: yes and no, and here’s why. Ichigo’s world is the only one we get to see in the Bleach canon, and we see how it changes due to his developing understanding of himself and his zanpakutou. It is, however, true that Ichigo’s zanpakutou is a very special case. And for any other shinigami, that spirit is inexorably bound to the soul, a product of it, the id, if you will, as @nightbeat-cat mentioned to me in a recent discussion. Kisuke has always been who he is, and so has his zanapkautou, and thus so has his inner world -- but that world itself has always been a very mutable place, a place of mono no aware where there is no permanence. As I’ve mentioned, it’s a constantly-shifting landscape to reflect a shifty shopkeeper. I’m sure that, after he forced the issue and brought forth Benihime using the tenshintai, his tree was barren for quite some time after. It must have taken a great deal of coaxing Benihime for him to see spring again.

#deivorous #[[ headcanon ]]#[[ inner world masterpost ]]#long post cw

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brainbuffering · 4 years

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So, I try to keep my nerd side away from my Epilepsy Blog; however I was talking to @haikyuupaladin on Discord and we realised that the closest thing we have to an Epileptic Superhero is Denki Kaminari from My Hero Academia. His superpower/’quirk’ is that he can produce electricity from out of his body, with the side effect that releasing too much causes him to short circuit his brain to the point where he cannot form speech and only give everyone a thumbs up.

A super power about having access electricity that has serious consequences to your brain function? Now That’s What I Call Epilepsy!

So here are 25 Epileptic Kaminari Headcanons for ya’ll to enjoy!

When he first got his quirk the side effect was similar to febrile convulsions (something to Todoroki children also suffered from). He'd zap out too much electricity at random, take out the lights in the house, and then seize on the floor. Eventually he learnt to control the quirk a little as his brain developed more and it just morphed into Absence Seizures. (Seizures where in your brain sort of enters ‘buffering’ mode and you appear blank and non-responsive until it is over. The kind I have!)

His Mum also has Epilepsy, but she has Grand Mal Seizures (the kind you think of when you imagine epilepsy) so she has to stick to regular medication. This also means she's well prepared for when Denki gets a seizure and it's just another day at the office!

He used to take medication to control his seizures, which essentially meant he couldn't use his quirk to do more than charge a phone. Yet it also meant he didn't have major seizures in the street and during class! Not ending up in hospital is always a plus. However once he decided to become a hero and apply to UA he stopped taking them in order to be able to use more voltage. It was a tough decision to make, since having seizures has long term medical consequences and can be very isolating. Yet the idea of being a hero, being able to save lives and do something GOOD with his powerful quirk was too strong a motivator. It's why he secretly relates to Deku so much. They both risk their health in order to succeed.

Problem is, he has a wisdom of 8, so didn't think to tell his DOCTOR he was doing any of this! So didn't wean himself off of them like a SENSIBLE person, and it resulted in some serious side effects (e.g. hallucinations) and major seizures!

His parents were naturally furious with him for taking his life into his hands like this! They we're initially completely unsupportive of his choices and refused to sign any of the UA Consent forms. Going there and becomming a Pro-Hero would put him at risk not just during his job, but during his day-to-day life too!

They eventually accepted his choices though, and are now fully supportive of him. However they DO call him regularly to check that he's okay. When they moved into dorms, they made sure that the whole Bakusquad were informed of what to do if he had a grand mal. It was one of the demands they made upon agreeing to sign the permission form.

No one in the class really knew that he had Epilepsy and that his 'stupid' mode was legit seizures until they all moved in together. They just thought it was a side effect of his quirk! Which is kind of true, but it's also way more than that. They all feel really bad about making fun of him for it (especially Jiro!) though Denki admits he doesn't mind it so much because sometimes it IS funny!

One of the reasons he doesn't do so well in lessons is that he keeps having absences during class. Not as long as the ones he has when he deliberately over uses his quirk, but long enough to cause disruption to his learning.

It's especially a problem in exams, and Aizawa has worked out that he needs to not only give him extra time, but erase his quirk during the exams.

This isn't figured out until his second semester though, and theory lessons have become so much easier!!!

Momo's study parties really helped as well, since if he has an absence she can just repeat the topic. The whole gang can now spot when he's having an absence. It's really helpful!

He knows full damn well that going to bed at 3am will cause him to have more seizures in the morning but he does it anyway because YOLO!

Bakugo has started to just thwack him over the head and demand he goes to bed because despite everything he does care about that fuckin' Pichu.

Also he should really know better than to over use his quirk without carefully training it first and taking it up volt-by-volt but again... YOLO!

Kirishima has pointed out time and time again, yes Denki. You DO only live once, so please for the love of God have some self preservation!

He has sworn that he will never drink a drop of alcohol in his life though. Because Alcohol is dangerous and BAD and makes you SLEEPY which will give you SEIZURES and that's BAD!

Nobody believes this for a SECOND. Kirishima already has an action plan in place for his 20th Birthday. Mina will melt away any glass that he even comes NEAR. Sero will stalk him everywhere, including the bathroom, to make sure he keeps his promise. And when inevitably he DOES find a way to get drunk and ends up having a seizure, Bakugo will clear the room of on lookers. Sure, his 20th is years away, but it PAYS TO BE PREPARED!

He used to wear a medical ID but found out that having bits of metal attached to him was a bad idea when you have an electric quirk! It just adds to the issues.

He did have a plastic one for a bit but it just got irritating, and he needed to take it off for hero training anyway! So now he just carries a card in his wallet and has an app on his phone to let people know what's going on.

He's talked about getting a tattoo with all his information on, but his parents are very against the idea. His new plan is just to became SUPER FAMOUS so everyone will know he has epilepsy and won't NEED to tell them his name and date of birth because they'll all just KNOW!

He is thus the only student Aizawa will accept as aiming to become famous because he has a rational reason for doing so.

One of the reasons he charges everyone's phones is that he's discovered releasing small amounts of electricity in a controlled way leads to fewer seizures during the day.

He also carries around a few power bricks for the same reason, and so is popular amongst students in general. He hopes this will have the side effect of girls liking him! The results are still pending.

Momo did some reading on Valentine's Day (for total legitimate reasons not because she wanted to get anyone chocolate that's OBSERED) and found out that St. Valentine is the patron saint of epileptics. As such, she organised for the whole class to get Denki chocolates as a sign of appreciation and recognition.

He may have cried a little bit, because nobody had ever done anything like that before and feeling accepted amongst the class for his disability fes really amazing and awesome.

#actually epileptic #denki kaminari #BNHA #bakusquad #my hero academia #bnha kaminari #text posts #community

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nonbinarysasukes · 5 years

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Sharingan Theory: E1, Copying Makes A Genius

[ID: A banner of a chibi Sasuke from Rock Lee’s Springtime of Youth. The angle is as if it was taken from the bottom. Sasuke’s wearing his late Part II outfit, pointing his sword at the viewer, and his Sharingan is on. The background is dark red with some light red patterns. White text reads, “Sharingan Theory,” and it is subtitled in white, “Episode One: Copying Makes A Genius (or, Kishimoto fucked up: AGAIN)”. End ID]

Hello and welcome to Episode One of Sharingan Theory! Today we’ll just go through the basics of what Sharingan is, why it's underutilised, and start poking deeper into the real meaning of this dōjutsu.

Okay, so we all know about Sharingan’s powers and abilities. And for those like me who stopped Naruto at the Chuunin Exams and aren’t fully caught up, here’s a quick overview:

Sharingan can copy any jutsu except kekkei genkai, and provides for a range of unique genjutsu like Izanagi, to control the flow of the space time continuum, and Izanami to loop time and reset physical damage, as well

Sharingan has an evolved form, Mangekyō, which has a range of abilities: Susanoo, a giant humanoid avatar made of the user’s chakra which surrounds them and fights on their behalf; Amaterasu, black flames that can’t be put out; Kamui, portal; and Tsukuyomi, the most powerful genjutsu ever

The Mangekyō has a catch in that if it is used too often you go blind. So to stop this you have to switch your eyes with the Mangekyō eyes of a close relative to produce an Eternal Mangekyō, which possesses all Mangekyō’s abilities and never fades

Now that that’s out of the way, it’s time to ask a few questions. Starting with, why is Sharingan’s most powerful ability so overlooked?

But, you say, Susanoo isn’t overlooked at all! It’s spammed!

However! That's exactly what I mean. Susanoo is not the strongest ability of the Sharingan - oh, no. This dōjutsu’s power lies in its name.

Sha-rin-gan. Copy Wheel Eye.

But why? What's so special about copying?

Well, first we need to understand how it works. So, the main strength of any Sharingan at base mode is to copy any jutsu it sees, that can be performed at the user’s level of chakra.

Say, X awakens it at 5. She will now be able to perform any jutsu she sees with her Sharingan on, that can be performed at her skill level.

And Uchihas are already natural talents, perserverent like anything - even inadept Obito could do a Grand Fireball! That takes a lot of hard work, and increases your skill and endurance. And just look at Sasuke, how he worked to get it right. So any Uchiha awakening their Sharingan should be able to copy most high-level jutsus (assuming that they awaken it at 13-15).

Now why do we need Mangekyō ability spam when we have this?! The copying wasn't even properly built upon in canon which makes me so sad.

Copying makes a genius - humans learn by imitation. We watch the world around us and imitate its mannerisms, then build on those to create our own unassailable strengths. And that's why Sharingan's copy ability should have not been so undersold.

So let's call it a wrap for today's episode! I hope you enjoyed this little first snippet of Sharingan Theory. And if you do, please tell me and I'll consider continuing it till 1000 followers until the promised 800!

Next time: Awakening process and why it’s bullshit, as well as an interesting headcanon I think you guys will love! And maybe a different Sasuke for the banner if I can find another chibi of him with Sharingan on. Or maybe Itachi.

#Sharingan Theory #Episode 1 #ceru babbles #uchiha clan #long post #sharingan

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maximit3 · 4 years

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@mindninjax tagged me and what marquie says goes so INSERT SHRUG EMJOI. I know its late but you gotta bear with genius when genius is at work.rules: ship yourself with your favorite character and give headcanons on how your relationship would go Max X Shouta Aizawa

This is gonna be super self indulgent and cringy AND THAT'S OKAY. also I haven't written in awhile so y’all are gonna have to be patient with me.

I work at UA as a history teacher for general studies, including the Hero courses because like that shits important. I am overly excitable and often get loud enough to hear from other classrooms when talking about the subject in general.

The first time I met Aizawa was two years ago when I was hired on and was being introduced to the other faculty.

Aizawa is definitely the most soft spoken teacher I meet, especially compared to Mic, but he’s polite and welcomes me.

I start to make it a point to say hi to him every chance I get, because he seems lonely. Although later I find out he is in fact never alone and has many people who depend and look up to him, and not just the kids. I’m not shy and I’m not quiet, but I’m polite and I try to not annoy him.

Our relationship changed when I walked into the teachers lounge one day and turned on the lights to find him asleep on the couch. He was startled and fell off of the couch and I was startled and I spilled my papers and then he just started laughing.

His laugh was the most charming thing I had ever heard and soon I found myself laughing too. I asked him if it was alright if I did some work here to be away from the others and he nodded politely and laid back down.

While I’m working he asks about me and how I ended up at UA, he's very calm and when I talk he listens and even comments on the things I seem the most excited about.

“I love history and every aspect of it. You have to study it and grow from it and continue to learn. A lot of people think history never changes, but it's all about perspective and how you use it. I just want the students to understand even in hero work how important looking at our past is. There are so many books and so many things to read, the learning is never done.” I realize I’m getting loud and animated and blush a little bit, “Sorry I know i got loud.

Aizawa smiled at me “Loud is nothing to be ashamed of, not when you're talking about your passion. You forget Mic is often a constant around me. History is something we all must learn and it takes a dedicated teacher to do it well, I’m glad the students have you.”

From that point on the relationship started small, but I noticed him passing by my classroom more often with some lame excuse about curriculum discussions. I always smile and take time to talk to him.

In the hallway I start to notice little smiles when we pass by that make my heart flutter.

He asked me to sit in on one of his field classes and watching him work with the students is a game changer. He's patient and listens to them, but he expects them to do their best and learn from what he's teaching. I know a lot of the other teachers question his tactics, but I can tell he cares for this class deeply and it warms my heart.

The day after the raid on the Yakuza compound when the news reported it, I raced to the hospital and flashed my UA ID. Before I could rush down the hall I saw him standing there talking to Izuku Midoryia and the relief that washed over me nearly buckled my knees. When he turned and saw me, there was a gentle smile on his face.

I stutter and make claims that I was worried about the students, which isn’t a lie I truly was, but it's obvious to the both of us I raced here for him.

One day while getting ready to leave work he stopped by my classroom looking, nervous. He's out of his hero uniform and wearing only a long black t-shirt and dark jeans and his hair is pulled into a bun, it makes my heart stutter a bit.

“Hello Mr. Aizawa, is there something I can help you with? I was just about to head out…” I smile bubbly.

“Uh no, Miss Maito, I was actually just...Well I wanted to know if you had dinner plans for tonight?” It's not a rush of words, even though I can tell he's nervous, but his voice is definitely shakier than his normal confident tone.

There is a moment where I have to replay his words in my head and make sure I haven’t misunderstood them, “Well no...I don’t think I have any plans. Is something that matter Mr. Aizawa?”

Then he smiles and the confidence returns, “I was wondering if you would like to join me tonight then and please,” and here he waivers for a second, “Call me Shota.”

I hope my smile isn’t as blinding as it feels and I start to bounce back and forth very slightly trying to contain how excited I am. “I would really like that Shota! Um, let me just grab my things. Um, I uh,” The words feel flustered in my head and I try to slow down and think through them. Aizawa seems to be holding back laughter. I chuckle nervously as I grab my things and then take a quick breath, “You can call me Max.”

Dates would include lots of museum visits and historical sites. But not just fancy museums and shit like we go to UFO museums and oddity museums.

Aizawa looks up conspiracy theories just to tease me and we once got into an argument about the Ningen.

Sometimes our dates are naps and It's so peaceful and it reminds me to slow down and enjoy the moment. Our relationship is all about balance and it's hard sometimes, but we compliment each other well. “Nerd” has become an affectionate term to the two of you.

Later we end up adopting Eri all of class 1A and three cats .

#Aizawa #aizawa x reader #shota aizawa #this was really cute and fun to write #also very indulgent #shout out to marquie for tagging me #so fucking cute #baezawa

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