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dunkzillla · 11 months

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A Place to Call Home (4/4)

woof. we are finally here at the end! this chapter actually kicked my ass. the way it was in my head just did not translate on paper, so I rewrote it a million times. it’s still not 100% but I just had to finally make myself happy with this. thank you to KG and Drea for not only the support and the heartwarming comments, but also for joining me along on the NigelBryan obsession that shows no signs of sloshing. You’re both the best!!! I hope you all enjoy, and let me know if you love them like I do.

Title: A Place to Call Home

Pairings: Nigel McGuinness/Bryan Danielson, Bryan Danielson/William Regal, Bryan Danielson/Wheeler Yuta/Claudio Castagnoli/Jon Moxley

Ratings/Warnings: Language

Summary: And Bryan knows what he means. Because as they’d pulled away from Nigel’s little house on the quaint little street, he realised that his heart ached just a little bit. It had, in two weeks, become a home away from home. Because it was Nigel’s, and even though he had never been there, there were traces of Bryan throughout. Bryan felt at peace there, at home, even though he’d gone there specifically to tell Nigel that he wasn’t where he should be, that he wasn’t home. It’s how Bryan knows he’s right, that home isn’t a fixed place, home is a feeling. Home is here in Ring of Honor, by each other's side, causing and creating chaos. But home is also back in Liverpool, in that little house, at the pub with Jenny, Robbie, Tom and George. It’s in Blackpool in that old fashioned B&B. It’s in all the places they’ve travelled across the country, across England and Japan. Home is Nigel, home is wrestling. Home is places you feel just right, with the people that make you feel just right.

Word Count: 7,464

Parts: ONE | TWO | THREE

AO3

I love the bones of you and that I will never escape. — The Bones of You, Elbow.

The first few days back in the States are a blur of meetings, sleeping and eating. Nigel gets all fucked up by jetlag, and Bryan has to be the one to get him up in time for said meetings, and deal with his insessant pawing in the middle of the night when he can’t sleep. They stop in a little Air B&B in Jacksonville, and Tony sends cars to pick them up when they need to have meetings in person, but most of the time it’s done via Zoom, because Tony doesn’t want his latest signing getting spoiled.

Bryan had called Tony right away, scared that Nigel would change his mind if he waited, and they’d had a long conversation about what Nigel wanted to do, and what it would take for him to come back. Which, once Tony started telling him the finer details of the Wembley stadium show, and how he could already picture Nigel being an important part of the show, wrestling or not, seemed to get the itch well and truly under Nigel’s skin, and by the end of that conversation, a verbal contract had been signed, and Nigel was officially going to be All Elite, starting off with Ring of Honor commentary, but could progress to literally anything else, providing Nigel wanted it enough and he passed physicals.

At the end of that call Nigel had shut the laptop closed and then looked at the wall for a good five minutes before he said, “Fuck, I’m really doing this, arent I?” Then he’d realised that he’d just told Tony he’d work for him while still actually having an actual real life job. He had a breakdown upon realising he had to quit his job, saying that he’d rushed into this and he shouldn’t have done it, and maybe he should call Tony back and tell him he was being stupid.

Bryan slapped him and told him to pull himself together. They had a small fight, nothing too crazy, but Nigel accused him of selling him a pipe dream and Bryan called him a coward. It ended with Nigel calling his boss and telling him the news that he was quitting, effective immediately. It didn’t go down well, and Bryan almost felt like taking the phone from Nigel and hanging up when he heard the way the man talked to him, even from his position on the couch next to him.

After that it had all been go go go. Tony got them on a private flight and they were taken to where they were staying. Then all the meetings. And Bryan had had to do his own kind of housekeeping, and he’d called Claudio and told him he was back, but he was going to be busy for a little bit. He didn’t explicitly tell him that Nigel was with him, or what was happening, because even though he knew Claudio wouldn’t tell anyone and ruin the big surprise, Bryan wasn’t going to ruin it either. But he promised that once everything settled down, he’d come home.

He called Regal too, and the call was a car crash from start to finish.

“Darling,” He’d said, tone firm and a little cold, despite the pet name. “Nice to finally hear that you’re alive.”

“I’m sorry, I took the loss harder than I thought.” Bryan had responded. Nigel was across from him, looking at him curiously, but half asleep too.

“Yes, well, must have been some loss if you ended up halfway across the world in bed with Nigel McGuinness.” The words were spiteful and almost bitter. Bryan’s never really spoken to Regal about Nigel, not about him as a wrestler and not about their relationship. Back when they were young he didn’t get to see Regal as often as he liked because of how much he was on the road, and when they were together there was never really much talking about other people, so he never really discussed his relationship with Nigel with Regal. But the man knows how he feels about him, it’s abundantly clear, it always has been. So to hear him sound so cold about him, them, after finding out he’d called Nigel last year, was something that Bryan hadn’t expected.

“You called him.” Bryan had said back, because he couldn’t deny that he had been in Nigel’s bed, that it was like that between them, because it was.

“Yes, last year. I should have known that if I wanted Nigel to do anything I should have gotten you involved first. Seems you have done the impossible, Bryan. The great Nigel McGuinness, back in the business. Congratulations.”

Bryan had felt his skin prickle. It had been a while since Regal had been like this with him, more than a while, quite a long time actually, probably since the last time they wrestled and he’d worked his way into Bryan’s head.

“Who said he’s back in the business?” Because they hadn’t told anyone, and he was sure Claudio wouldn’t have told him.

“As soon as I knew you were over there darling I knew what you were doing. Doesn’t take much to find out what Mr Khan is up to, either. Tell me darling, just how did you convince him to get back into the ring? Your hand in marriage? A couple of children and a white picket fence home?” The sneer at the end of the words had made Bryan feel cold. Regal was jealous. But that didn’t make sense — they’d never, ever been jealous of the other’s separate relationships. Not when Regal got every sweet young wrestler he could into his bed to test them, and not when Bryan had multiple other relationships at the time. So why now?

“Why are you doing this?” Bryan asked him, and Nigel had started looking at him with more interest then, like he realised that Regal was being difficult on the phone.

“I just don’t understand why you went to him, of all people.”

“You know why.”

Regal had been silent for a while, and then said, “Yes, well after how long it’s been I would have thought those silly little feelings would have disappeared.”

Bryan had bristled, because those words were full of misplaced jealousy. Regal has never been a one man type of guy, and neither has Bryan, and that’s always been okay. But when it comes to Nigel, it seems like it’s not okay.

So, rather cruelly, Bryan had responded with, “And after everything you’ve done you’d have thought that our feelings for you would have disappeared.”

Regal responded with silence, like he’d realised what he’d been saying.

“Where are you?” Regal had said in the end.

“Not at home, that’s all I can say.”

“Oh darling, it’s not like—“

“Don’t say anything, don’t ruin this for him. For me. Please?” Bryan had begged. He’s not a begging person, really, but he is when it comes to Regal. He knows that sometimes the man’s cruelty knows no bounds, and that he wouldn’t think twice about lifting the lid on Nigel’s return before it happened and ruining the whole thing, just to spite the man.

“You’re assuming people are going to care, Bryan.”

It was another cruel, knife twisting remark. And the way Nigel had stiffened beside him told Bryan that Nigel had heard every single word.

“They will. Otherwise you wouldn’t have called him last year. You know just as well as I do the asset he can be.”

Regal had said, “You don’t need him. This isn’t what was supposed to happen when I left.”

And Bryan had just shrugged even though Regal couldn’t see him. “Then maybe you’re losing your touch.” Bryan said, and a sick feeling had washed over him as he remembered getting on his knees in front of Mox, begging him not to hit him for what he did. Slapping Mox. Distancing himself from them all as he took Regal’s side.

“Tell Nigel to keep an eye on his phone calls in the next few days.” Regal had said, and Bryan’s body had washed cold, and he’d gripped the phone so hard that he feared it could break.

“William don’t, please don’t—“ but Bryan hadn’t been able to finish his sentence before the phone was put down on him. No goodbye, no I love you. Just the vicious beep of the call disconnecting.

“He hasn’t changed, has he?” Nigel had said, breaking the silence after the call. And Bryan had wanted to scream, because he’s always known what Regal was like. He’s the Gentleman Villain, after all, and he’s as mean as he is handsome. But with Bryan he’s always been softer, and this time, this run they had together, the Blackpool Combat Club, he was different. Different with Mox, different with Claudio, different with Yuta. He was a softer, gentler man when they weren’t in the ring or training. But no, Nigel was right. He hasn’t changed, and he never ever will, and Bryan is stupid for thinking otherwise.

Bryan travels to Dynamite alone. They’d flirted with the idea that Nigel could come, they’d hide him, but ultimately it’s not worth the risk of the surprise getting out, and there’s only a few days until Supercard of Honor, where Nigel’s making his big return, so he stays home. Bryan had thought about not coming too, but then when they’d caught up on everything, Bryan found out that Yuta has called out fucking Shibata, and he needs to talk to the little shit before Friday.

He doesn’t tell the others he’s coming. And when he gets to the arena, he goes to see Tony first, gets checked over by medical to make sure he’s clear to return, and then hides himself away.

If his time with Nigel has reminded Bryan of anything, it’s that he’s not very good at talking about how he feels, or saying the right things, and sometimes it’s just best to show up and prove that you’re here. That you’re here to stay.

So when he’s watching the monitors, and the guys are out, circling Kenny Omega, Mox getting ready to squash him like he’s an annoying bug, Bryan runs out.

The feeling of finally going back out to a crowd, of hearing the roar of your name, the booming base of your music hitting, it’s electric, and Bryan feels it all the way to his bones when he finally makes it into the ring. The last time he was inside the ropes, he’d just lost to MJF, and his heart was broken and it felt like nothing could fix it.

The next day, he was in England, in Nigel’s house.

Nearly three weeks later he’s back home, in the ring with his boys, he’s got Kenny on the mat and Yuta is screaming with feral rage in his face and its wonderful. It’s fucking wonderful because his heart is healed, Nigel is back in Jacksonville, watching this all transpire on TV, going over the notes Tony sent him to prepare for Supercard. He’s back, and so is Bryan, and it doesn’t matter that he lost his last shot at the title because he’s back renewed, he’s got his family back and the little piece of his heart that’s been somewhere else for the last decade is finally back. The little missing piece of his soul is home and he can finally, finally focus on becoming the best version of Bryan Danielson he’s been since 2009.

“You little shit,” Bryan says immediately when they get behind the curtain, slapping Yuta upside the head. “You called out Shibata?”

“Ow! Hello, Bryan, nice to see you too, yes, I did miss you, you fucking prick.” Yuta complains, rubbing his hand over the back of his head where Bryan hit him.

“Now now, Yuta, language,” Claudio admonishes softly, but he’s smiling, all soft and dopey like Claudio gets sometimes. “Prinzli, you didn’t tell us you were coming back.”

“Surprise?” Bryan says, not too dissimilar to the way he did when he first turned up at the car dealership to see Nigel.

“A nice surprise, at that. Come on, let’s not talk here.” Claudio says, and he gets an arm around Bryan’s shoulders as they walk back towards their locker room. Mox is ahead of them, having not said anything yet, all bouncing energy, shoulders rolling as he jumps and bounces his way into the room.

“So, what the fuck you got to say for yourself, Danielson?” He says once the door is closed. Mox is on the offensive, his shoulders hunched and his fists clenching. Bryan doesn’t blame him, not one bit, after how they left things.

“I’m sorry,” Bryan says, realising that there’s not a lot he can say beside that. “I know I can’t take anything back. I know can’t change what he’s done—“

“Ain't talkin’ bout’ him, where you been? Claudio said you were finding yourself in fucking Blackpool.” Mox grumbles.

“Oh. Did you…” Bryan looks to Claudio, because he doesn’t know if he mentioned Nigel’s name.

“No, I didn’t. I figured that’s something you’d have to explain for yourself.”

“Fuckin, enough with the secrets, what the fuck is going on?”

Bryan lets out a breath. “I went to see Nigel. I found him, and I went to see him.”

“Nigel as in, Nigel McGuinness?”

Bryan nods, and he watches as Mox works it all out in his head, lets the information roll around in his head for a moment before he says,

“He alright?”

“Oh, yeah. He’s. Good. He’s a car salesman.” Bryan says, and he says he is one rather than was one because, well if he can keep this a surprise for just another two days, the look on everyone’s faces when Nigel walks out at Supercard is going to make Bryan’s heart burst.

“A fucking car salesman? That’s fucked. We got him to thank for setting your head straight? You speak to the traitor?”

Mox’s questions are quick fire as he unrolls the ring tape from around his wrists. Claudio’s undoing his boots, and Yuta is watching them quietly.

“Yes, and yes. But we’re not — he isn’t important right now, Regal, I mean. He’s gone. We’re still here, and Yuta is calling out people like Shibata. How could you let him do that?”

“Don’t put that on me, I don’t go to ROH.” Mox says, pointedly looking at Claudio.

“I had no idea he was going to do that! He just did it!”

Yuta tries to make himself small in the corner, like they’re not talking about him.

“Yuta?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say! You want me to keep pushing and keep challenging and who better than to challenge than The Wrestler, Katsuyori Shibata?”

“I admire your spirit, Yuta, but we could have had a conversation about this, got you ready. We’ve got like, two days.”

“No offence, Bry, but you weren’t here to have a conversation with.”

Bryan deserves that, he really, really does. Because he wasn’t there. And even if Yuta had called him, he might not have answered, not with how he’s been wrapped up in Nigel these past few weeks.

“Yeah. Yeah, I wasn’t. Have you been studying?”

“Yeah, with my notebook and everything. I’m ready, Bry. I’m gonna’ do you proud.”

Bryan goes up to Yuta, runs his fingers through his hair and smiles. He hasn’t been good to Yuta, not for quite a while, and it’s time to start showing the guy he handpicked for Blackpool Combat Club that he is proud of him, that he can be the mentor that he was looking for.

“I’m always proud of you. You’ve been doing great, Yuta. Just keep studying, Shibata is gonna’ come at you hard, you need to be prepared.”

“I will be. I’m prepared.”

Bryan ruffles his hair. Bryan doesn’t think you can ever be prepared for a wrestler like Shibata, but having the confidence to call him out and say you’re ready to face him, well it’s half the battle won in his eyes.

“So, what are we doing for dinner? I’m fucking starving, and I’m not having catering.” Mox says, and he’s leaning back against the lockers now, hoodie off, sweats low and inviting on his hips.

Bryan bites his lip. “I’m gonna’ be cutting it pretty close with my flight, so I’ll just be grabbing something at the airport.”

“You’re leaving? Are you not coming to Supercard?” Yuta worries, and Bryan cups his hand to the back of his neck.

“I am, but I have some things I need to take care of at home. I’ll meet you there, okay?” Bryan’s not letting Nigel turn up to Supercard on his own. When they’re there and it’s started, Bryan will have all the time in the world to fuss over Yuta before he goes out for his match. But up until then, he’s got to see this through with Nigel. He started it, after all.

“Better not be him.” Mox says, suddenly looking more alert, more uncomfortable.

“Depends who you mean by him.”

“His Lordship.”

“No, Mox. It’s not. Told you, he’s gone.”

Mox rolls his chewing gum around in his mouth, like he’s trying to work out whether he should believe him or not. In the end, Mox gets to his feet and comes up to him, pokes him in the chest.

“You mean that?”

“I mean it in the way we’ve both always meant it. I’m here, Mox.”

Mox gives him a nod. Regal is never gone forever, no matter what he does, he can never leave the two of them forever, the same way Nigel has never left him, never will leave him, no matter what happens between them. The same way Mox, Claudio and Yuta will always be a part of him no matter what. It’s just a waiting game to see when he will pop back up in their lives and weave himself back in with ease. But for now, Bryan is here, with Mox.

“Yeah. Alright. Do what you gotta’ do,” He says, and he drops a kiss to Bryan’s mouth. “Love you.”

Bryan wants to latch onto him and never let go, show Mox how sorry he is for how everything has played out these last few months, for not being there for him, for choosing Regal again. But that’s not them, and even though there’s more to say it won’t get said for a while, it will get said on a random night when neither of them can sleep and Mox is chain smoking and Bryan makes them herbal tea. So it’s enough for now. Just like there’s more to say to Nigel, for now it is enough.

“Love you too.” Bryan says, and he knows he doesn’t say it enough. He’ll be better, from now on. Better for all of them. For Claudio, for Mox, for Yuta, and for Nigel.

The flight from St Louis to Jacksonville is only a couple of hours, so when he makes it back to the Air B&B, Nigel is still awake. He’s got his laptop open in front of him, papers spread out around him. It’s like he’s learning lines for a play. He’s making sure he knows everything he can about every wrestler on the card, and he can see Yuta’s page front and centre.

“Hey, didn’t expect you to still be up.”

Nigel pauses whatever he’s watching on the laptop and rubs at his eyes. “I was going to go to bed, but then I got an angry message from Jen. I forgot it was Wednesday.”

It’s Wednesday, and normally Nigel would go to the pub with his friends. But instead, he’s halfway across the world getting ready to debut in Ring of Honor as a commentator. A life none of them know Nigel has or has had.

“What did you tell them?”

“That I didn’t feel well. I’m not gonna’ tell them about all this until you know, it’s actually happened.”

Bryan comes and sits next to him on the couch, one of Yuta’s old matches is paused on YouTube on the screen of Nigel’s laptop, and there’s multiple tabs open at the top.

“They’re probably bullying her because we’re not there to save her.”

Nigel huffs, “Probably. She’s gonna’ hate me for leaving.”

“She’ll be proud of you.”

Nigel makes a noise, like he doesn’t want to talk about telling his friends about his old life, and his old life starting again. Bryan’s definitely pushed enough, so he doesn’t push with this.

Nigel presses play on the YouTube video again, picks up his pen and continues making notes. Bryan watches with him for a little bit, because this is one of Yuta’s matches he hasn’t seen, and he gets lost in watching how much Yuta has changed, how much different he’s become under the Blackpool Combat Club, even under Chuck and Orange.

“I’m worried about him going up against Shibata.” Bryan says quietly when the match ends with Yuta’s hand raised in victory. He’s clean shaven there, looks so young that it makes Bryan feel a bit weird for being his boyfriend.

“Why?”

“It’s Shibata, Nigel.”

“Yeah, but your boy’s good. He’ll give it to him good, and if he loses, well, you pick him up and you go again. He’s already done what no man has done before, and that’s become a two time Pure champion. If the kid loses, then he loses. Lesson learnt. He’ll go on and do even more great things.” Nigel says, like it’s that easy.

And well, maybe it is. Maybe he’s getting too focused on titles again, and not focusing enough on everything else. Yuta will be okay.

“Come on, let's go to bed. We have a busy travel day tomorrow.”

“I haven’t travelled this much since I retired. I forgot how big the US is.”

“Well you’re gonna’ get used to it again. Because on Friday, you’re officially out of retirement.”

Nigel shuts the laptop closed and scoops up all his papers. There’s a warm smile on his face when he says,

“Yeah, yeah I am.”

Luckily, they get Nigel into the arena and into a private locker room without being spotted.

Yuta keeps texting him, asking him if he’s arrived yet, and what room he’s in, and Bryan has to tell him that he’ll be there soon, because he’s just got to get Nigel out in front of all the people getting into their seats, get him out on that commentary table and then he can focus on Yuta and his match.

Nigel’s pacing the room, reading over his notes half dressed, worrying his lip over his teeth.

“Maybe this was a bad idea. What if nobody remembers who I am?” Nigel asks very quietly, and he’s still staring at the papers.

“I get why you’re nervous, but Nigel, there’s not going to be a soul in the building who doesn’t know who you are.” Bryan promises, and he stands up from his chair, digging into Nigel’s bag to get his tie out so he can put it on him. There isn’t much time left till showtime, but they don’t have to be at guerilla until after it’s started, because Tony wants Nigel to have a proper entrance, not just a quick mention that he’s in the booth.

“That sounds like a massive lie, but alright.” Nigel sighs, and he lets Bryan snake the tie around his neck and do the loops until a perfect knot is formed.

“You’re gonna’ go out there and there’s gonna be so much noise. Biggest pop of the night. Just enjoy this night. You’re back. You’re home.” Bryan says as he does the top button of Nigel’s shirt up, and tightens the knot of the tie, so that it sits perfectly around his neck. He picks up the waist coat that they’d picked out, the whole suit a dark blue, cut just right against Nigel’s figure.

“You talk about home a lot for someone who hasn’t actually been home in almost a month.” Nigel says to him, letting Bryan slip the waist coat on and start doing it up.

“Home isn’t a fixed place. Home isn’t a roof and four walls. Home is a feeling. It’s when you know where you belong, when it doesn’t matter where you go, or what you do, home is where you feel just right,” Bryan says, smoothing his hands down Nigel’s chest, pushing out any creases in his clothes. “Did you feel just right in Liverpool?”

Nigel shrugs a little. “Sometimes.” He admits quietly.

And Bryan knows what he means. Because as they’d pulled away from Nigel’s little house on the quaint little street, he realised that his heart ached just a little bit. It had, in two weeks, become a home away from home. Because it was Nigel’s, and even though he had never been there, there were traces of Bryan throughout. Bryan felt at peace there, at home, even though he’d gone there specifically to tell Nigel that he wasn’t where he should be, that he wasn’t home. It’s how Bryan knows he’s right, that home isn’t a fixed place, home is a feeling. Home is here in Ring of Honor, by each other's side, causing and creating chaos. But home is also back in Liverpool, in that little house, at the pub with Jenny, Robbie, Tom and George. It’s in Blackpool in that old fashioned B&B. It’s in all the places they’ve travelled across the country, across England and Japan. Home is Nigel, home is wrestling. Home is places you feel just right, with the people that make you feel just right.

“You feel at home here?” Bryan asks.

“It’s like moving back to your mum's place. Always feels like home.”

“Ring of Honor will always be a place you call home. We can have an array of homes.” Bryan says, and from underneath his t shirt he untucks Nigel’s spare key that’s hanging on a frayed little rope chain. Nigel hadn’t asked for it back since they left England, and Bryan isn’t giving it back. He needs to be prepared in case Nigel ever tries to disappear out of his life again.

“Is that my key?”

“The spare one you gave me. It’s mine now, by the way.”

“Just like my dressing robe? And the tie you stole?”

“You gave me all of them, there was no stealing involved.”

“And just why do you need my key?”

“Jenny is going to need someone to back her up when she beats your ass for lying about your past.” Bryan says easily, and it makes Bryan’s heart beat incredibly fast, the way the grin spreads across Nigel’s face when he says it. Bryan doesn’t know what’s going to happen after tonight, they’re going to be busy again, making towns, tapings, whatever happens with Yuta’s match tonight. But what he does know is that he’s going to be with Nigel through it all, and no matter where they go, back to Bryan’s home, back to Liverpool, or somewhere new. It will be home.

“She’s going to kick your arse too, you told her you were a personal trainer.”

“Then we will lock ourselves away. That’s why I have the key.”

Bryan shakes his head and puts the key back under his shirt. He picks up Nigel’s suit jacket and steps behind him to slide it over his shoulders.

There’s a knock on the locker room door, “Nigel? You’re needed at guerilla.”

“Coming, thanks.” Nigel calls back, and he turns to Bryan, smoothing down his suit and rolling his shoulders.

“Showtime.” He says, and Bryan nods. There’s a ball of excitement in the pit of his belly. It’s not nerves, he knows that there’s only one way this is going to go, and that’s fucking fantastic, because it’s Nigel. Nigel did commentary a lot when he was a wrestler, and it was effortless, it’s going to be the same tonight. Effortless, like riding a bike, talking, and sleeping.

“Just have fun. You’re going to be great.”

Nigel makes a face, but it turns soft quickly, and his long fingers reach out to run through Bryan’s beard, a habit he’s seemed to pick up lately.

“Bry?”

“Yeah?”

Nigel leans in and kisses him, just a soft sweet kiss, but it makes Bryan’s head spin nonetheless.

“I love you too.” He says, and then he’s turning and leaving, out of the locker room door and following the assistant who’d come to get him towards guerilla.

Bryan hadn’t actually gotten to properly say it. He’d tried, that first morning at Nigel’s place, tried to tell him that just because they’d clashed in the ring, beaten the hell out of each other, it didn’t mean that Bryan didn’t love him. But Nigel had cut him off before he could finish the words, and then Bryan hadn’t tried to tell him again. Showed him, maybe, but he hasn’t said the words. And now Nigel is telling him he loves him. Words he longed to hear for so long, finally, finally he’s hearing them. And he can’t even say it back because he’s about to go out in front of a live crowd for the first time in over a decade, and there’s going to be hours and hours before Nigel comes back behind the curtain and he can tell him.

Nigel’s music is hitting before he even gets to guerilla, and he just catches him stepping through the curtain when he does. The music is so very similar to his old theme, and nostalgia hits Bryan hard and heavy in the heart. The crowd reaction can be heard through the curtain, no need for Bryan to be at the monitor, but he does anyway, because he needs to see it. There’s a Union Jack behind Nigel’s name on the screen, loud and proud along with the music.

Nigel looks like he never left. The crowd is cheering and he’s soaking it up, two fingers in the air, just like he always did. There’s a buzz backstage as people walking past catch his face on the monitors, his name being uttered in shock and disbelief as Ian and Caprice go crazy waiting for him to join the table. Nigel does a lap around the ring, and Bryan can see the look on his face, that age old I love this face.

He looks right, he looks perfect out there, he looks like he’s stepping through the doors of his parents home, being welcomed back with open arms and a feast of his favourite food on the table.

The first words out of his mouth when he gets to the commentary table are did you hear that reaction? And Bryan feels like his heart might burst.

Regal tried to twist the knife the other day, planting the seed that they were banking on people caring that Nigel was coming back. Nigel had worried not twenty minutes ago that people wouldn’t remember who he was. But he sees it now, Nigel sees just how much people have missed him, how much people have been wondering where he went after his retirement, how much they wished he’d come back. The crowd went crazy, and he’ll see later, when Bryan makes him watch it back, just how at home he was making an entrance in Ring of Honor again.

“That’s where you’ve been, isn’t it?” A voice comes from behind Bryan, and he turns from the monitors to see Yuta. He’s got his ring tights on, and a Blackpool Combat Club hoodie, and there’s a smile on his face, he’s not accusing Bryan of anything.

“Yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t—“

“Don’t. I get it. There’s just some things you have to do,” Yuta says coming to stand next to him. His hands are tucked into the pocket of his hoodie and he’s watching the screens. “I can’t believe he’s really back, that Nigel McGuinness is really here. Is he going to wrestle?”

Bryan shrugs with a smile. “Was hard enough convincing him to come back and do this, I think we’ve got a ways to go before we get him in some boots again but, keep your title tonight and Shibata might be the least of your worries.”

“He can just have my title, it’s fine. I like my head attached to my neck, thanks.” But Yuta is grinning, and Bryan can practically see the match playing out in his head. He knows kids like Yuta and Daniel have learnt a lot of their techniques and styles from the wrestling they watched growing up, and the idea of being able to get into the ring with another one of their heros is crazy and exciting.

Bryan smiles, “How are you feeling?” He says, and it’s time to switch over to focusing on Yuta now. Nigel is out there on commentary, clearly already killing it as he gels instantly with Ian and Caprice, Bryan can focus on his protege now.

“A mixture of everything. Scared, excited, nervous.”

“Where’s Claudio? How’s he doing?” He hasn’t even stopped to ask how Claudio’s been during everything happening with Eddie. He’s such a bad boyfriend. But he’s going to be better, he really is.

“Locker room. Mox is here, we were gonna’ do some stretches and stuff, told them I wanted to find you first.”

“I’m sorry. I just needed to see him through to the end, I started it.”

“And I’m glad you did. I’m glad you got him here Bryan.”

Bryan looks back at the monitor, there’s a match on the kickoff now, and he can hear Nigel’s voice loud and excited about the moves he’s calling.

“Me too. Now let’s go and get you ready for your match.”

Yuta loses his title. Bryan is heartbroken when the streamers fly out over Shibata, and Yuta is laying there just getting covered in them. He, Mox and Claudio collect him from guerilla, letting him fall into their arms when he comes back through the curtain. It’s the first time Yuta’s lost a title without Regal there, so the usual post match breakdown goes a little different. There’s no watching the match back immediately, no trying to learn from your mistakes immediately. Mox bundles him up in a hoodie, feeds him a protein bar and makes him drink a bottle of water.

By the time Claudio goes out for his match, he’s feeling better. Bryan sits with him and gives him a little shoulder massage because he feels a pull in it, and they discuss how they’re going to go forward. That Yuta will get the title back one day, or a different one, there’s so many, and Yuta’s good enough to go for whatever he wants. He tells Yuta he’s proud of him, and that he loves him, and it feels like home when Yuta smiles and tells him he loves him back.

Claudio wins his match, and Yuta decides he’s going to do a run in, even though Mox grumbles about it because he knows he’ll get shit from Eddie about it later.

Bryan follows him to guerilla, watching the show wind down and go off air on the monitors. He watches as Nigel shakes Ian and Caprice’s hands, and through the curtains he can hear the fans shouting his name. Nigel does a circle around the ring, shaking peoples hands, signing posters and tickets and leaflets. When he’s on the stage again, he lifts both hands up into the air and sticks his fingers up at them, and everyone cheers. The grin that splits across Nigel’s face is enough to power Bryan through the next million years. He can see the happiness there, the pride. All the worries he’d had about not being remembered, nobody wanting him back, the doubt that Regal had put in his mind without even talking to him. It’s all gone now, people are chanting his name, begging for an autograph, no doubt asking him about returning to the ring.

When Nigel finally steps back through the curtains, a loud cheer erupts from everyone backstage, and Bryan can see that there’s a little tear in his eye. Bryan steps back, there’s so many people here that want to talk to him, and Bryan’s more than happy to let them. After all, they haven’t seen him for over a decade either.

Claudio’s off doing media, and Yuta’s tucked under his arm as they watch the swarm of people surround Nigel. There’s Joe, Eddie, Christoper Daniels, BJ Whitmer, Colt. And every time someone walks past they realise the circle has Nigel in the middle, and they end up joining. Every so often, Nigel points over to Bryan, and everyone turns to look at them before turning back to Nigel.

“Is Nigel coming home with us?” Yuta asks, exhausted now the day’s over, leaning into Bryan’s side.

“For the time being, at least. I kind of dragged him over here without a plan in place, so you know, unless he’s running back and forth from England to here every week, he can stay with us until he’s got something more permanent in place. Is that okay? We’ll have to talk to Claudio and Mox too, of course.”

“S’okay with me. Want him to teach me how to do the Tower of London.”

“If you ask nicely I’m sure he’ll be happy to. He thinks you’re cute, you know.”

“He what?” Yuta perks up a little then, and Bryan laughs at him.

Nigel manages to pull himself away from the group and comes over to them, and Bryan can see the little flush of colour that settles on Yuta’s cheeks.

“So, I take it no one knew who you were?” Bryan says, but he’s smiling up at Nigel. There’s a soft, warm look on his face, a bright light in his eyes, and that smile, god it’s beautiful. He hasn’t seen Nigel smile like this in forever.

“Oh bugger off. I hate admitting when you’re right, but I’ll give credit where credit is due.” He says, like he’s not even a little bit mad about being wrong.

“Sorry about your title kid, you did good though. I really enjoyed your match.” He says to Yuta, who’s just staring at Nigel with a type of fanboy wonder that Bryan knows he used to look at Nigel with.

“Thank you. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too, Yuta. I’m looking forward to calling your matches. You have a nice bridge, you learn that from Dragon?”

Yuta gives a little nod. “Can you teach me the Tower of London?”

Nigel laughs, “Not sure I even remember how to do it myself, but I’ll give it a bloody good go.”

Yuta beams, “Thanks Nigel.”

“Come on, Claudio should be back soon, and Mox will be wondering where we are. They’ll be happy to see you.” Bryan says to Nigel, and he takes Yuta’s hand, because he knows he needs that right now. An anchor, some TLC. Bryan’s more than happy to give it to him tonight, after losing his title, and everything that’s happened these last few months.

They walk back to the locker room together, and Nigel talks through the match with Yuta, giving him tips on what he could do next time, how he could have beaten Shibata. Yuta listens intently, not looking away from Nigel even when people stop Nigel to shake his hand and welcome him back.

Claudio and Mox are in the locker room when they step inside, Claudio’s packing the belt away in his case, and Mox is a ball of frantic energy, pacing the room. Probably worried about where Yuta got too, worried that he was in a bad head space and ran off.

“Nigel fucking McGuinness.” He says, instantly holding his hand out to bring Nigel into him.

“Moxie.”

“Bryan says you’re a car salesman. What the fuck?”

“Yeah well, not anymore. I’ve officially signed here.”

“As you fucking should, Nigel McGuinness has no business fucking business being anywhere but here. You getting back in the ring?”

“You sound entirely too much like Dragon,” Nigel shakes his head. “Haven’t decided on that. Probably not, though. Pushing fifty, Moxie.”

“Stings in his sixties and man can still kick ass, age is just a number, Nigel. And anyway, we need another match. One you don’t let me win because you wanna’ be in Bryan’s pants.”

Nigel splutters, and Bryan’s own eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. Yuta and Claudio snicker between themselves.

“That’s not what bloody happened! You beat me fair and square.”

“Of course you did.” Mox is smirking, seemingly ending the conversation there and going to sit next to Yuta, throwing an arm around his shoulders and planting a large, loud kiss against his temple.

“Nigel, my old friend, ignore Moxley, as you know his favourite pastime is winding everyone up. I have missed you.” Claudio stands up and embraces Nigel, their too tall figures melding together. Nigel is visibly smaller than Claudio now, a switch from before, when Nigel was pretty much always the biggest man in the room.

“Castagnoli, fucking finally a ROH World Champion. You were great out there.” Nigel says, and he’s got a hand on the back of Claudio’s neck.

Bryan remembers a time when he got insanely jealous of Claudio. He and Nigel had tagged together against Chris Hero and Jigsaw, and Claudio got busted open at the end of the match, right around his eye. Nigel had cupped his face so tenderly, told him it was going to be okay, and helped him to the back. He fussed over him the whole time he got medical attention, stayed with him once he got his stitches, and switched rooms with the random guy that Claudio was rooming with so he could keep an eye on him, in case he had a concussion or suddenly lost his vision. Bryan was not a rational guy back then, and he didn’t like that Nigel was doing all the things he did with Bryan with Claudio. He’s not that way inclined anymore, he knows it’s just a testament to the man he’s always loved, that he cares so wholly and deeply about his friends and loved ones, but seeing the two of them together again does bring back memories.

Nigel and Claudio talk quietly for a while and Bryan just watches them, watches old friends get reacquainted, his family licking wounds from a loss. He feels a peace settle over him. All those missing pieces that have slotted together start to glow inside of him, welding themselves together and making him whole again.

A few weeks ago, Bryan was lonely. Regal was busy, and Bryan was too busy chasing down MJF and the World title to worry about where his family were and what they were doing. He was lonely and he knew, deep down, that there was something missing inside of him. It took him the loss to realise what he needed to do, to finally go and find the man that’s been missing from his life for so long.

And now, Bryan is once again in a ROH locker room with Nigel McGuinness. He’s not lonely, he’s got his family, and they’re all on the same page, fighting to good fight against the Elite.

Nigel’s key is warm against his chest under his shirt, and his voice is loud and warm in the room as he talks with Claudio. Mox is making Yuta laugh, and every so often, someone knocks on the door to come in and say welcome back to Nigel.

A few weeks ago, Bryan got on a flight to bring Nigel McGuinness back home. To bring him back to wrestling so that Bryan could be the best version of himself, because without Nigel Bryan has felt lost for the last decade.

Nigel McGuinness is home, and Bryan Danielson no longer feels lost.

Bryan stands up and steps over to Nigel, nudges his shoulder against him to get his attention. Claudio goes to sit down next to Yuta and starts packing up his bag.

“Hey,” Bryan says. “You wanna go home?”

“Home where?”

“Home with us, for now. Until you decide where you want this home to be.”

Nigel lets a smile spread across his face, and Bryan thinks it’s the most beautiful thing in the world.

“Yeah, home sounds good.” Nigel says, and he turns, probably to get his bag, but Bryan catches his wrist and entwines their fingers together.

“Love you, Nigel.” He says, and Nigel smiles, bright and wide, and squeezes Bryan’s fingers.

“Let’s go home, Dragon.”

#writing #nigel mcguinness x bryan danielson #blackpool combat club #final part!#I hope you all enjoy!

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primetimes-primetime · 1 year

Text

alright. so, i know ive already made a post about this on my main, but im stupid and went to the original tweet and just made myself angry again.

TW// T-CEST UNDER THE CUT

alright, so a couple days ago i rbed a screenshot of a certain story board artist's tweet about being the one to put tcest in the show.

i dont know why or how, but i found my way onto twitter and to the original tweet that this guy made.

for context, sheldon here was a storyboard artist for Rise and the scene they are talking about here is this one from the Lair Games episode-

i partially explain again why this is horrible and disgusting and partially why i dont believe or accept sheldon's... i dont even know what to call it. his response (the top post in the first screenshot)

part one

since i literally just rbed something about this, im just going to copy/paste my rb and add onto it a little.

" no but when i found out that some of the artists who originally worked on Rise were t-cesters and proshippers i was actually so fucking pissed off.

there are part of this community that are actually god damn disgusting, and im not afriad to say that tcest is fucking rancid and if you support it i dont want you near the content that i create.

first of all, it is literally incest. it says so right in the name. which, i really hope i dont have to explain why incest is bas in the ripe year of 2022. I don't care that they arent "blood-related". They were fucking raised as brothers, treated like brothers, and think of each other as brothers. No matter how hard you try to spin it, no matter how hard you argue that they arent technically related, you have to understand that they see and think of each other as brothers, which should be enough to make this incest.

this show was amazing when it came to family dynamics and brotherly love/trust/bonds. i can say with confidence that the brothers in Rise are much more brotherly/closer than any other previous versions. it's obvious to see that they love and care and want to protect one another. to turn platonic and love for one's family into something so gross and vile is taking all of the healthy emotional bonds between these characters and throwing it out the window.

i cant fuckung believe i have to say this every time i come back into the tmnt fandom, but-

THEY ARE MINORS.

sure, with the recent Rise movie we saw an adult leo, but heres the thing- that version of leo is fucking dead. he literally got fucking beamed out of existence.

the fact that every one of these brothers are under the age of 18 and i still see so much nsfw art is absolutely horrid.

finally, it's a kid's show. sure, many of us in the community are teens, later teens, and grown adults, but that does not change that this show was originally created to bring the tmnt franchise into yet another generation of kids. again, i sincerely hope that i dont need to explain why implying incest in kids shows (or really any TVs shows, for that matter) is morally wrong and vile.

literally yesterday me and some of my mutuals had to go through a lot of our content to re-tag a whole bunch of our posts tagged with "tcest dni" because tumblr's tagging system is actual shit. there shouldnt even be a tcest community, outside of it impeding on the rest of us Rise fans.

sorry this is such a long post but im so tired of seeing / hearing about tcest. its gross, disgusting, icky, etc etc. it is 6:30 am and i woke up and saw this and decided to fucking say something, because tcest has actively made my experience coming back into the tmnt community and fandom worse. "

and i still stand by that. seeing so much tcest- and from the artists on the rise crew, no less- is making my journy back into the tmnt fandom so, so much worse. it is actively hurting a lot of people- which brings me to one specific tweet from this thread.

so, to start- i do not, i repeat- DO NOT condone or promote sending death threats to people or telling them to kill themselves.

second- it isnt. harmless. reminder, again, that this is a

CHILDREN'S. SHOW.

you are talking about MINORS IN INCESTUAL RELATIONSHIPS. "harmless fiction" my ass.

part two

ok. so as you can see in the original screenshot, you can see that sheldon is passing this off as a joke. but i honestly cannot believe him when he says this.

why, i hear you asking. well,

look at the time stamp. 2020, nearly three years ago now, when the Lair Games episode had just come out.

why didn't he say it was a joke three years ago, when he first posted the storyboard clip? because he isnt fucking joking. either that or he is just really so fucking dense that he doesn't realize that what he's doing is not funny in any way, shape or form.

which brings me to my next point.

even if it is all just a joke,

why the fuck are you joking about minors participating in fucking incest?

its fucking nasty even if it is a joke. i genuinely shouldnt need to say anymore on why this is fucking horrid.

well. ive taken up enough of your time- i appreciate you reading to the end and i apologize for making this so long. a quick, final word in case you got this far and are a tcester or support tcest-

kindly fuck off, do not interact with me, unfollow me, and block me :] i dont want your nasty ass incest anywhere fucking near me or this blog.

thanks ! :D

#ooc post #primetimes-primetime

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nahalism · 2 years

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Has loneliness/isolation ever been something you’ve had to cope with? I’m struggling real bad. Any thoughts/insight as to how to move through a season or time in your life where you don’t really have a social life due to decline in physical/ mental health? Feeling like I don’t really have anybody around. Feeling constant fomo. Feeling bittter when I see images of bonds and connections and experiences. Idk but I’m struggling. Thank you for your time with this 🤍

yes! lol r u kidding me. a lot of what your describing is a feeling and perception i was heavily wrapped up in when i first made this tumblr which is interesting cause i cant help but reflect on that as i write this answer. bare with me if this is a little long, but its because that period of time taught me a lot of things. — for example, loneliness has a lot more to do with having a lack of direction than it does a lack of affection. often if we arent confident in who we are and what we want, we lack the intent necessary to magnetise the situations and relationships that we truly desire to us. this manifests in 'disorder', or a discord between our internal and external reality, which in turn causes us to suffer or feel longing toward what we feel is missing— this further fuels the mindset and feeling that we are lacking something or missing out on the fun others are having.

keys to resolving this in my personal experience were taking complete accountability for the entire experience that is my life. radical acknowledgement, then acceptance, of my thoughts emotions was the first step to doing this. for example, id acknowledge that i was completely alone and isolated from my peers or a support network, but i began to realise i should still feel like im in good company with myself. i should still feel like a support system to myself. so i began to do what could i do to maximise my enjoyment in day to day life, or even preparing myself for that enjoyment to begin to occur. this began to uncover and heal traumas that were key to me improving my mental and physical health. it also taught me how to reverse engineer that principle, as when i began physically tending to myself (showering, preparing food for my body, going on walks, laughing, drinking water) i began to demonstrate and thus feel the love and nurturing i wanted to receive from others, and in tapping into the energy began to generate momentum around giving and receiving love and connection between myself and others. people love people who love themselves because love breeds love and feels good to be around, but also because only someone who loves themselves can teach someone how they like the be loved. finding contentment in yourself will not only attract people to you but will allow you to know yourself and advocate for yourself in a manner that keeps a quality control on who and what you let around you. this accountability, and the self confidence & integrity it begins to build internally, creates a surrendering where you can begin to hold space for yourself as you are, and in doing so bring light to how your shadow side operates. an example of this would be making space to see and understand your feelings of bitterness. by sitting in the acknowledgment of your bitterness to others having fun or connection your not involved in, you can begin to understand that your thoughts and feelings are neither good or bad, theyre just your body bringing your desire to be seen, heard, loved, connected, and intimate, to your attention. if you can sit with and understand this to a point where you no longer feel pangs of dis-ease, then you can find love toward that part of yourself without judging or resenting it as 'bad' 'unloving' or 'mean', cause the reality is its just you showing yourself you want a fundamental human desire, to be loved.

there was sum else i wanted to say but i forgot lol so ill leave u with this, whilst everyone wants to be seen heard and loved not everyone knows that the only way to truly be satiated in the security those feelings bring is to truly hear, see, love and show up for yourself. for even if you receive the perfect relationships if you betray or sacrifice yourself for what you think is the benefit of them you'll pray the same price in a different way. —just know the very fact you want to grow is an indication of your heart and intent and aids your success in this. you cant make a mistake or mess it up because thats part of the lesson, and this process in itself is strengthening you to stand from within yourself in a way that will change how you feel about yourself, but will also allow others to see elements of you that are deeply beautiful but currently hidden from both you and them. keep your head high & know your not alone <3

#ask

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enrapture · 1 year

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I know ur bi & since ur single whats ur type in men specifically?

I'll make a list! but go in depth. sorry this is a lil long.

-I struggle w/ certain things like adhd, anxiety and trauma so they gotta understand that and accept that and if they still like me afterwards then there ya go lol

-I like depth, fuck the small talk. be different. for ex: lets talk paranormal stories.

-if you’re too distant I’m uninterested lmao

-someone who takes care of themselves. (eats their veggies/a decent amount right, their vitamins, drinks water, works out kinda is just generally in shape. etc)

-men that don't make fun of my likes/hobbies/special interests but try to understand them whether they dislike them or not maybe do research/ get into them bc they know i like them and like seeing me happy.or at least make the effort to hear me boast about them idk fuck. just general understanding would be fuckin cool.

-effort effort effort that shit is fucking sexy as shit to me.

-don't waste my time and i won't waste yours. Be direct with that you want.

-compliment meeeee, I like someone protective. If we can be weirdos together then that’s a match.

-when their words MATCH their actions.

-I'm expecting / used to people treating me like shit. surprise me and be a GOOD PERSON to me in my life lmfao.

-good at communication and know how to healthy communicate their thoughts and feelings, wants and needs no matter how difficult

-men who don't fucking lie. worst thing you could ever do to me is lie, make fun of my interests, talk shit about me, be toxic and manipulate me and use me among gaslight me etc etc. 100pts. I'm very selective with who I let into my life, I have trust issues due to trusting the wrong people and got burned for it many times. scarcity is value. Don't make me regret my decision. men who don't hurt my feelings!!!

-men who like me for more than just my body. who like my personality and shit so much more. 1000pts

-i don't like clingy but i also like the healthy amount of quality time spent together so. I don't need to talk 24/7 i guess but we do gotta see one another a few times or make lil dates or something in order for it to work. it can't be constant to nothing at all. healthy balance???

-I avoid fuckboys like the plague but i can't help but fall (emos, musicians, skaters, skinny, fit, nerds, the funny weirdos LOL. that sorta vibe. etc)

-men who are genuine. gentle. yet aggressive (when its the right time to be) who care about me, support me (call me out on my shit if its not healthy or if im just misinformed and will KINDLY inform me and help me understand/enlighten my way of thinking. Intelligence is soooo incredibly attractive to me, if you can teach me something in some form Its 50pts in my book.

-men who send me stuff like "this reminded me of you, I know youd like this" etc who get my sense of humor and make me laugh. Who try to cheer me up if I'm sad. Men who are open minded, loving, sweet, mean well. caring mmmm

-men who realize mistakes happen and that growing is a process, healing isnt linear as I would with them. Growing out of unhealthy habits and changing for the better:) there is always room for growth.

-if you tease me / are playful / bully me kinda I'll probably end up crushing on you. I like me that are smooth talkers.

-connection is cool, men who have similar hobbies or interests (I like anime, cinephile, video games, reading, art, concerts, exploring, hiking, camping, writing sometimes, music, content creating sometimes, social media stuffs, baking once in a while, photography...) etc. you dont have to have the same exact interests I would prefer you to have your own set to show me that would be cool. but I do like having interests to bond over specifically though lol.

-i guess for an example of men (their body types / personalities) I like are: timothee chalamet, awsten knight, ryan gosling. (abs, arms, hands, eyes, mouths) hnnnnnng everything so sexy FUCK.

-I like men who arent egotistical dickheads. confidence is nice, but if you think you're the shit and are entirely full of yourself youre absolutely disgusting.

-men who are respectful, hold the door, arent afraid to call / video chat. upfront and straight forward, who don't play mind games. direct. sometimes buy me gifts or surprise me with them (I've never had anyone do that. my last relationship they only cared about trips.) nothing wrong with that I liked the trips we went on but i like feeling appreciated idk physical shit is nice too. call me shallow. I like gift giving/ receiving. I do like going on trips but we hardly went on any lol. living is expensive.

-idc how you dress, what you do with your body. don't tell me what i should be doing with mine.

-be my best friend first I don't like rushing. get to know me as i will you slowly over time. lets take our time and feel it out. Who knows it may not be what we want later on. some people like jumping into something immediate. I have to write it out lmfao. that i do not want that or am looking for that. idc if we have "history" or not.

-everyone has things deemed as red flags, struggles, issues, immaturities etc. Lets not be assholes and judgmental pussies. but lets understand and try to grow past them and become healthier better versions of ourselves after all our inner child would want that. change is necessary don't stick to negative habits. be fluid.

phew, I think thats all I can think of at the top of my head atm.

#anon

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satellite-slickers · 1 year

Text

okay thats it time to clear house there are fucking too many of you now. survival of the fittest those of you who are strong enough will die off and my notifications wont be filling with hundreds of them every day

the internet left is straight up canibalistic and impotent. you talk about a revolution and killing billionaires but the thought of giving up chick fillet or something else equally trivial is completely beyond you. how am i supposed to take you seriously anout wanting to go through the painful and potentially devastating concequences of forcibly changing society if you don't have the conviction to even give up your creature comforts. until you so called leftists grow a spine and actualy do the basics like get q long term strategy in place i am not going to believe that you have what it takes.

on the same note. yall are so fucking dramatic and love drama to the point that you will gladly tear into each other and try to paint other leftists as villains for not being ideologically pure as you think you are. you cant build a colelition or a movement if you arent willing to join with people you dont agree 100% with. and you cant do shit if youre more concerned with looking like the wokest person in the room than you are actually affecting systemic change

the harry potter game thing is a microcosm. i do not care qbout the harry potter game. as a trans person. i dont care. you're shadow boxing in platos cave trying to win a symbolic victory against a single terf. meanwhile our rights are being stripped away from us while you are focused on bullying people into not playing a videp game like thats actually going to fix anything. someone streaming that fucking terrible game and raising money to donate to a trans charity is doing infinitely more good for me and the rest of the trans community than the rest of you fuckers combined

ai art is fine actually. and while there needs to ne regulation about how datasets qre compiled. it is not plageriam and is not art theft and is not copying your art style the devil and is actualy good and cool you just have a fundumental misunderstanding of how the technology works. the exploitation and undervaluation of artists in our society is not new and is not because of ai art. you want to help artists? stop shadow boxing in platos cave and actually support artists and create networks with the aim of making sure that artists actually get paid and get credit for the work they do

people can ship or write or he off too whatever the hell they like its none of my business

i am not proship, not because i dont share their views about fiction. but because i dont believe that they go far enough. the anti anti movement had it right but the proship comunity is very much "fuck you i got mine" they want to play with their fanfic and read their stories and dont want to actually explore thought or principles beyond that. things dont matter and arent bad if they arent hurting real people? okay then. in that case pedophiles and zoophiles dont deserve harasment if they arent actually hurting anykne. incest is fine as long as its consentual and using mental health problems (hes insane, theyre psychotic, theyre a narcasist, they lack empathy conservatism appeals to the mentaly ill, trying to say that mass murderers or child molesters or corrupt politicians are that way because there is something mentally wrong with them) as a way to condem their character means that YOU are the terrible person. claiming that only people who aren't neurotypical can be monsters is abelist. theres no other way about it

some of you straight up dont have principles, you call yourself progressive but you are still working on that gut level "it makes me feel weird pr gross to think about and upsets me and therefor it must be evil" like a five year old, you never actually examined your beliefs and your feelings and developed a moral code that you stick to even when it is hard and it shows

#hopefully this will scare at least some of you off #looking forward to my notes being managable again and not a source of stress #hopefully i dont lose any of my mutuals over this

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byulsgrease · 3 years

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if you arent too busy, can you write a idol!hwasa x idol!reader, wherein they both have to practice with each other for a special stage. However on the first meeting they become starstruck and cant believe somethings are real, but soon warm up to each other?

i'm not terribly busy but this still took a while anyway oops - sorry this took so long anon! here you go :D

if anyone has requests for the other members hmu cuz I've got 2 more hyejin reqs after this one (not that I'm complaining)

"who says we can't do something on our own?"

(hwasa x idol!reader, ~1.2k words)

cw: food + alcohol mention (y'all know how it is)

I named someone Minjeong - it's not Aespa's Winter, idk anything about 4th gen gg's - 민정 is my Korean name so it's just what came to mind

"Hey, wake up. You've gotta see this. GET UP," a voice piercing through the fog of your sleep.

What a rude awakening. Your shoulders being shaken vigorously by a pair of small hands meant they belonged to none other than Minjeong, your youngest group member. You rolled over to glare menacingly at her with one eye open, trying to pull your brain out of the slumber. All you could see was the bright light of her phone shining in your eyes - a video of some kind. But then you heard the audio:

"Have you seen the clip?" asked the interviewer.

"Yes, my members and many MooMoos made sure I saw it"— Moos? Oh, it's Hwasa. WAIT. Both your eyes flew open as you sat up and snatched Jeongie's phone out of her hand to stare at the video. Your mind immediately flashed back to the interview you did last week - they asked who you most wanted to collaborate with, if there were no limitations. Your ears started to heat up at the sheer thought of the flustered mess of an answer you gave - of course you said Hwasa. Both of you debuted relatively close to each other, within a year, but never interacted much over the years. Mamamoo as a group was a force to be reckoned with, but there was just something about Hwasa specifically. You mostly just admired her unique singing voice and undeniable stage presence, and her relentless drive to always be herself in an industry constantly trying to fit women into a box.

Finally snapping out of re-living that embarrassment, your attention turned back to the phone in your hand. The interviewer must've asked her to send a message in response to you, because you couldn't believe that she was waving and saying, "How haven't we gotten to know each other better over all these years? I'd love to work with you on something sometime," curtly dipping her head in a slight bow.

"SEE? You needed to see that," Minjeong rushed to say, full of energy. "And close your mouth, your jaw's on the floor," jokingly pointing.

You side-eyed her and shut your mouth. "Is this what Loco felt like when she called him during Hyena on the Keyboard?" you wondered aloud.

"At least she's not calling you while on camera," she commented, knowing full well that you'd probably embarrass yourself again if she did. "But hey, at least she noticed you! Can I have my phone back now?" It would be a dream come true to collaborate with her, but cross-company collabs... always a pain. that couldn't be helped. The fantasy abruptly ended with demands from your rumbling stomach. Done with your what-if's, you placed the phone back in your maknae's outstretched hand to get up and make breakfast.

~~~~

With award show season rolling around, the crazy scramble of rehearsing for special live stages without leaking sets and collabs began. Checking your email that morning showed a schedule to record the backing track for a special live stage, but that was it. With who? You texted your members a screenshot, but they all told you that block of time in their schedule was empty. A solo stage? The solo mini-album you released this cycle did relatively well, the title track got a music show win, but not a multi-week chart-topper by any means. Possibilities turning over in your mind, you stepped out from your place to head to the company, totally in the dark about what was in store.

The recording studio always smelled the same along with the couches, a comfort for all the insanely long nights and crack-of-dawn early mornings over the years. With a bit of time to kill, you plopped down on one and gingerly patted the worn cushions as some kind of symbolic thank-you for supporting you (literally).

A hesitant but loud knock sent your gaze directly to the door. Watching it slowly open, you leaned forward to see who it was. Needless to say, your jaw fell to the floor again as you clapped a hand over your gaping mouth, eyes widening. Like a soldier obeying a command, you immediately stood up as straight as possible and bowed profusely at Hwasa, sporting a very similar expression on her face (which you failed to notice, your mind running a million miles a minute).

After a series of frantic bows and miscellaneous utterances to each other, she spoke. "It's nice to finally meet you," she said with calm, surveying your frenzied state. "I guess we're granting that collab wish from your interview, huh?"

The red-hot embarrassment leapt to your face. "I...I definitely made a fool of myself answering that question. And our maknae showed me your interview clip too, which was cool, but never did I think it would actually happen," you stammered. I should probably stop talking.

"Well, here I am," she half-smiled coolly. "Let's get started, I'm really looking forward to finally work with you on this," a gleam in her eye and a hint of excitement in her voice.

The studio suddenly felt a lot smaller with her in it, despite there only being your managers, the producer, and the both of you - less people than you and your members alone. Both of you remained relatively quiet the whole time, rather unsure of what to say or talk about. You watched enough MMMTV to know that all the members on their own were shyer than together, and Hwasa knew the same was true for you. But the work basically took care of itself, seamlessly taking turns in the recording booth, witnessing each other's work style and process. The both of you knew your way in front of a mic, seasoned professionals by now. Upon wrapping up, you bowed politely to each other after a quick exchange of KaTalk info, a short and sweet goodbye.

That was... anticlimactic. I mean, it's finally happening - I can't believe it. But maybe I was too idealistic about maybe creating a meaningful relationship with her outside of work... What does she think of me?

~~~~

In the days leading up to the collab stage, you kept going back and forth on whether to reach out or not, despite now being in possession of her contact info. What would you even say? Thoughts of a witty one-liner or relatable meme came to mind, but maybe she'd assume the worst - that you were clout-chasing, or something. Anxieties abuzz, your phone vibrated in your pocket. The KaTalk notification sprawled across your screen. Speak of the devil, it's her.

"Hey, awards season has me stressed. I know you must pretty busy right now too, but I somehow get off early tomorrow if you wanna grab dinner after work?" You had to reread that one. Oh, what? She's inviting me?

Trying not to be weird about responding too quickly, you typed out, "Wow, yeah, that sounds great! ^^ wait, your company doesn't care about you going out to eat during award season?"

"nah, they stopped having that kind of control over us a while ago, we are the money-maker of the company, after all 😏"

"so I guess this means they don't check your phone either ㅋㅋㅋ"

"nope :)"

You proceeded to set a time and place to meet, someplace with meat.

In the process of feasting on an inordinate amount of gopchang imbued with a splash of beer, you learned a fair amount about each other. You talked career, professional aspirations, the weird habits of your members, and more. What surprised you most was the amount of things she already knew about you, having admitted to watching some of your behind-the-scenes content after seeing your interview clip.

"Ah... I'm sorry if I came across as distant during that first recording session," she confessed, pausing to sip her beer. "I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, I felt a little star-struck."

"Oh what?? I felt the exact same, so no worries - and sorry if I came off similarly distant," you rambled back. A bit of silence fell between you, acknowledging the mutual sentiment. You spoke up after a bit, "Thanks for inviting me out tonight, I didn't realize how much I needed this."

"Thank you for making the time, I had fun getting to know you better," she articulated with a smile. "Maybe it'll make the collab stage better," she added on jokingly. You responded with a nod and expression of mutual affirmation.

~~~~

After that, messaging each other became a regular occurrence, that gopchang outing having broken the ice. Honestly, you tried your best to talk about anything besides work, but the baseline of shared understanding connected you in a way that came more naturally than it did with your non idol friends.

You stood across the way from her at the sound check for the final stage, dressed in joggers and slides. Funny to think that you'd be recording this for real in a couple hours, making eyes with the blinking red light on the cameras surrounding you. It sucks that fans wouldn't get to experience the energy and atmosphere of the performance - Hyejin alone is one thing, but adding someone else into her stage presence? Unmatched. There's nothing quite like a live performance - and while you knew everyone in the industry dealt with the consequences of the pandemic, it certainly took a toll to perform and not feel the energy from fans. But realistically, nothing you could do about it. The sound check went over smooth like butter. The stage chemistry came flowing naturally between you both, even when bare-faced and dressed in just sweats.

And when the time came for the actual filming, you both absolutely killed it, an upbeat mash-up of TWIT and your title track. At the very end came a sliver of hesitation before throwing your arms around each other with a big smile for the ending fairy, proud of the work you accomplished together, and a mental fist-pump to yourself for making friends with one of the industry's finest.

Once again walking to a restaurant that served mostly meat to celebrate, you playfully proposed, "We... should do that again sometime." A little puff of air came out her nose in amusement.

"Yeah, we should. Too bad we're gonna have to wait a whole cycle before we can release anything else together again," she sighed longingly.

"Who says we can't do something on our own?"

#did not know how to end oops #mamamoo x reader #hwasa x reader #mamamoo hwasa #ahn hyejin #hwasa fanfic #hwasa imagines #hwasa #mamamoo fic #mamamoo imagines #mamamoo scenarios #girl group fanfic #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #kpop #kpop fic #gg fic #gg fanfic #requested

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fallindomino · 3 years

Text

how i would have changed s2 of hsmtmts

obvious disclaimer but im not a screenwriter or anyth so im not claiming what i want is best, this is just for fun lololol

okay so first of all nini would still have dropped out of yac but she wouldn’t have gone back to east, she would have transferred to north bc she was too ashamed to tell anyone she left at first and maybe she still wants to explore who she is away from ricky and the others

nini could join north’s batb and this way maybe we could have some playful rivalry with lily and nini and more scenes with antoine shdhdjdj also it could have been a great opportunity to flesh out lily’s character so those scenes where she reaches out to ricky and her confession at the end of the season actually make sense lol

speaking of ricky ,,, i think he should have left the play at some point hear me out. he only joined in the first place because of nini and barely wanted to do it at all once he realized he wasn’t gonna be able to perform with her. he could have joined crew and been a manager with natalie or smth considering he rlly does see the theater gang as a second family. also this would leave so much room for ej and ricky development and bants since ej joined the av club and began to pursue film. they could have some convos where idk ricky asks ej how he figured out what he wanted to do after duke didn’t work out and ricky could actually develop some interests that arent the play or nini ,,, maybe fucking art club i mean he did p good on that centerpiece for carlos’ quinceañera.

with ricky not being the beast anymore i think seb should take his place that would be soooo good. and since seb isn’t chip anymore carlos won’t make those snide comments about chip being a small unimportant role and we can just cut that whole fight bc it was dumb and bad. we could still have seb being insecure that carlos is only dating him bc there aren’t really any other gay guys at school. in a heartbeat is great and i did like ricky being supportive in the background it was kinda funny too idk dhdjdjfj

ooh i almost forgot abt rini ahshdj okay so i still think they should break up. but in my version there’s no ricky pulling an ej 1.0 and deleting comments off of nini’s insta, cause with ricky in art club and nini at north trying to figure out what she wants i think one of them would realize that they’re going in different directions and only got back tgt because they made each other feel safe cause what they had was familiar. this could be triggered by ricky mentioning smth abt nini at yac and then nini breaks down and tells him that she dropped out and is at north and doesn’t know where she’s going. and then they can both realize they aren’t good for each other rn and have a less tragic mutual break up.

honestly i really liked the scene of nini taking charge after miss jenn freaked out cause with the character detail of nini giving every person in the cast of productions she’s in a thank you note she just seems really like someone who is suited to lifting others up. this could still be explored at north, maybe she could help lily through her issues that were briefly implied in ep 11 and nini realizes she wants to be a drama teacher and encourage kids to go off book and put themselves into their acting, something she couldn’t have at yac.

okay now ej ,,, so like i said in ricky’s section, more bants between them cause i feel like friendships kinda fell by the wayside due to all the relationships so more friendship !!!! also the scene where ej tells his dad he’s not going to duke shouldn’t have been an ending scene, it should have been fleshed out with his dad pushing back saying how he pulled all these strings to get him in and ej saying he doesn’t wanna go if his own hard work couldn’t get him there. and also more scenes of ej doing av club things !!! and realizing he rlly likes film and wants to do it OMG IT WOULD BE SO COOL IF HE BROKE THE FOURTH WALL AND ASKED THE DOCUMENTARY CREW ABT THE FILM INDUSTRY god i would love that. the only scene we rlly got of ej doing film things was at the quinceañera which made me kinda sad. uhhh also i just wanted to specifically mention how ej got mr mazzara that job at cal tech bc it really showed how he wanted to be there for people not just for gina, who he had a crush on, but for mr mazzara who supported him outside of romance, so i wanna keep that for sure.

gina !!! okay so i mostly liked her arc in this season, the only changes i would make would be to flesh it out a teeny bit (god this hypothetical s2 would have to be like 22 eps at least shdjdjdjfj) anyways besides ashlyn singing home to get gina to stay i think there should be a scene where they actually talk in her room abt how gina feels safer when shes on the run (second chance reference ilysm) hhhh and also a scene of her and carlos actually working out compromises for their choreo cause i liked that bit of development too and fleshing that out would make gina an even better foil for lily, who felt a need to hog the spotlight like gina used to. with gina’s own arc fleshed out her character would feel more whole independently from romance and portwell would be even more rewarding than it is in the current s2. the only thing i would really change abt portwell is that they would kiss !!! in the finale but thats bc im biased.

ashlyn should have gotten a more fleshed out storyline about being insecure about not being a good enough belle or the typical belle. there were some throwaway lines when north did their typical dramatics but the only two real scenes that showed it were when ash talked to big red about it and when she was telling nini she wanted to do a run in “home” bc lily did it. ashlyn should get more screen time where she has to grapple with the reasons she doesn’t feel good enough and big red can still support her but also gina too bc i would like more roommate besties interaction.

kourtney could still date howie, that harry potter shit was cute but there needs to be smth else for kourtney’s arc. idk she’s still into fashion so maybe she could be out here trying to create her own line or smth? this doesn’t have to be resolved in s2 like making a wholeass line takes time and she could work on it into a potential s3. kourtney just didnt get much outside of howie and the stuff at the beginning of the season where she said nini inspired her to be independent and that's why she got a job was just dropped?? so i think that fashion could fill that for her if she’s still dating howie cause like having her whole arc just be the pizza place kinda overlaps w big red’s mini arc abt how he wasn’t settling for hospitality, its what he wants to do with his life.

ik what ur thinking. anna, even if you added more episodes, where would u find the room to add all these plotlines?? well first we cut (most of) the seblos fight, so thats some time saved. honestly most of the time that we r going to gain is going to be from cutting ms jenn’s time. things like ms jenn’s and nini’s car ride would get cut, but mostly all of ms jenn’s romances would get cut down. considering she’s the teacher and isn’t actually a character with an arc how does she have THREE love interests this season?? like all of the weird tension between her and zack can be cut, like just some short scenes of them being competitive can stay. all of the stuff with ricky’s dad can go bye bye we don’t need it. i did like her w mr mazzara so most of that can stay i just didn’t like how he said he would give up cal tech for her, ew no that would be gone.

the MENKIES !!!! this is the last thing im gonna address cause in a perfect world every character would get a long fleshed out arc but then the season would be waaay too long and also im mostly trying to work within material the show gave so this is mostly made up of “realistic” deviations from what actually happened. lol idk what that even means it just makes sense to me. but anyways!! uhhh bro idk i thought them dropping the menkies was funny but it also made the finale really BAD lmao. in this finale, seb is the beast, east still had to deal w the fact that they’re underfunded compared to north but no one is injured, lily is less of a poorly written character and maybe ppl are even rooting for her, and wow i just realized i never actually said what role i think nini should have in north’s show. OOH she could be student director instead of lily cause lily both being in the play while also directing was weird considering omg i just checked and according to her wiki page shes a FRESHMAN?? and they let her be student director? lol hell nah. okay so with all that in mind ,,, the menkies should have been the season cliffhanger instead of portwell. east and north should both be nominated, both schools perform at the menkies, and then the award winner is about to be announced and THATS when it cuts to natalie and the end of the season.

one, this actually gives more tension for a summer s3 as we would be waiting to see the consequences of whichever school won. also i bet people would be wondering if nini’s gonna be transferring back to east or staying at north. people would also prob wonder if ej would be getting the scholarship if east won and what that would mean for his interest in film.

lmao that got longggg and idk if anyone’s even gonna read this but it was fun to do :D

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thesnowidol4life · 2 years

Note

ruinene

what have you done 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

but yes <<<<333 i love them with my whole being <<<<333

1:What made you ship it

multiple things it was like god was forcing me to perceive them!

i was on the ao3 tag on day 2 of proseka being out bc i was that impatient about translations and ended up stumbling upon a ruinene fic there (no but its actually so funny bc not only was i not interested in wxs at the beginning, and even though i read every oc's basic description before the game came out, it wasnt until that moment that it clicked in my friends to lovers loving brain that "oh shit you can do childhood friends to lovers w them huh" . this really was the beginning of the end)

anyways it got worse as i read wxs' main story bc i realized "oh no im starting to enjoy them a lot uh ohh" (i blame things like rui only agreeing to join wxs at first so nene could have a chance to try performing again, "you have a bad personality/that makes two of us", nene being happy that rui's started enjoying doing shows w tsukasa and emu, rui snapping at tsukasa for making nene cry and tells her she doesnt have to push herself to perform anymore, etc. i never recovered from any of that i never will). then it got WORSE when my brainrot was getting enabled by my bestie. then it got WORSE WORSE when i thought about nene while listening to yuukei yesterday one day and by law if a character exhibits takane enomoto behavior i cant must get attached. so yeah now im here

2: What are your favorite things about the ship?

these two are my favorite depiction of the childhood friends trope in any piece of media (i know a lot of the things i love arent top tier writing for that to mean a lot, but also idc theyre the best)

this sounds weird on a post of me talking about a ship trope i love but i get really annoyed whenever im watching/reading something w childhood friends and a romantic aspect is applied to it bc itll always feel either like the romantic love is forced or that the platonic love feels forced. its such an easy trope to fuck up and it hurts bc its my favorite one. ruinene doesnt have this problem tho they stay winning like always

like theres a special kind of softness that comes through when they interact (using this as an excuse to remind people about how soft rui's voice gets whenever hes talking to nene one on one bc that killed me the first time i heard it). and you could look at it superficially like "it makes since they've known each other for 10 years" or smth but then when you learn more about their pasts its especially heartwarming to know that these two people who have such a hard time connecting with others were able to keep each other so close

and its even better when you remember wonder halloween showed that rui and nene did drift apart at some point in middle school which were very difficult times for both of them, yet they were still thinking about each other during that time

like even when rui was going through his depressive episode where believed he would only be able to create shows by himself forever, he still wanted to help nene after she developed stage anxiety and quit acting bc he knew that she loved singing and performing shows more than anything. hell i wouldnt be surprised if pre main story he tried multiple times to help her overcome her anxiety and main story was almost like a final try. and when nene was finally able to go on stage again SHE DID IT BC SHE WANTED RUI TO COME BACK TO WXS BC THATS THE HAPPIEST SHES SEEN IN HIM IN SO LONG AND SHE DOESNT WANT HIM TO BE ALONE AGAIN SO SHE WAS WILLING TO FACE HER FEARS AND PERFORM W TSUKASA AND EMU IN THE SHOW SO THEY COULD BRING RUI BACK GOD IM GONNA IMPLODE

ANYWAYS their comfort level is very appealing to me and i love it whenever it comes up.

also the way they get whenever the other is overcomes a problem is great, like when rui was able to make up w tsukasa in wonder halloween. nene's relieved that she could support rui during this situation bc she couldnt reach out to him during middle school and how she wants him to rely on her more bc she's his friend (the way she specifies between “weve known each other since we were kids” and “and also, we’re friends” made me cry for 10 minutes the first time i read it fr bc she wanted it to be clear to him that he isnt alone anymore and that their close friendship isnt just some old memory they were besties as kids and she's still gonna be his bestie and god im becoming more and more ridden w illness as I say this). theres also when nene is able to accomplish something difficult during a performance (perfecting her christmas solo during holy night and singlehandedly improvising her scene to save the play during mermaid) and rui just always looks like he just fell in love w her every time (this is partially a joke but also no whoever rigs the live2d models needs to answer for that shit) and afterwards he’s just very proud of her and doesnt let her forget it and ahhhhhhh stop being fond of each other it makes me lose my mind ahhhhhhhhh

theyre so funny together too. theyre both such little shits that i love watching them whenever they pull a tag team roast on tsukasa or when rui is planning some bullshit and nene just accepts having to witness her bestie's actions. this isnt even mentioning the comedic goldmine that is picnic. the fact they were out having a nice cute hike date so nene could build stamina for their shows meanwhile mizuki ena airi and shizuku are on the other side of the mountain actually in danger of dying will never not put me in hysterics

its like theyre so imperfect in their own ways and its caused problems for them in terms of how they interact w the world but at least they love each other and have for so long and its like YEAH THATS THE LONG TERM CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDSHIP EXPERIENCE THANK YOU

also this is more of a meta/gay aspect to all this but i,,, absolutely love the way they sound together in songs. out of everyone in the game they're my favorite voices. I can and will be the no. 1 supporter of ruinene duets bc whoever decided to cast machico and toki shunichi for those two is seeing heaven. the 5 second ruinene harmony near the end of miracle paint caused me to question if i was bi. the ruinene nijiiro stories alt has been my ringtone for over a year now and i have not gotten tired of it. every cover on my wishlist that i want rui and nene to get is fueled by my desire for them to get a proper cover. the most we get is bits in full wxs covers but still no actual duet/duet w a vs joining them i think that's wrong and illegal

(yes i am still salty over cendrillon i will never stop being salty over cendrillon until we get compensation and trust me there are a lot of songs they can do ask me about my dream ruinene covers i dare you)

God theres so much i love about them that i could and have actually talked about them for hours and its to the point ive wanted to write an actual serious meta on their dynamic for a year now its badddd

3: Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

once again i plan on doing a meta one of these days so i don't wanna go too in depth about this rn but I disagree w the idea that ruinene are just the average childhood friends trope and that there's nothing special about them (re: why i love them tangent).

as much as i dont like it when the units are seen as only 2 dynamics bc then other dynamics dont get to have as much content (like how a lot of vbs content feels like anhane | akitouya yeah i get bored of that), i will without guilt turn a blind eye if its ruinene content. It can be story moments it can be song moments it can be card cameos idc if it becomes unfair bc I get fed for another week and that’s what matters sry <3

oh yeah and nijiiro stories is one of the best commissions in project sekai like im talking in the top 10 if im lowballing i wont take any constructive criticism on this (i am only half joking)

anyways yeah my annoying little bisexuals i care about them very much

#this was the first ask i got and i left it last bc i knew i was gonna talk a lot thanks ashe for opening pandora's box for several hours 💀#i joke a lot about hating ruinene and make fun of them mercilessly but they really are special to me #i wouldnt be planning to write a whole analysis on their friendship is i didnt love them as much as i do #which WILL happen i promise i just need colopale to get on their shit and confirm a few more backstory details #or else im gonna feel like im talking out of my ass #anyways im done being genuine ew ruinene gross (i say as i open up the two different subfolders #of just ruinene images and the ruinene memes ive made specifically)

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someone-always-cares · 3 years

Photo

bonus 2, post chapter 4

first - previous - next

[image description: an sac webcomic page. 5 pages styled in a manner similar to a medical brochure titled “navigating your new abilities, what does this mean for me?”. the brochure is about superpowers, what the are, side effects and health risks, and job oppurtunities. the brochure has white and light blue for the main colours, with a dark purple accent. page 1: mostly showing a girl transforming, with the title listed above, with smaller text reading “created and supported by the paragon institute for superheroism.” the girl is a younger white woman who has a light purple colour scheme, long straight hair and bangs, a crop top, and elbow pads. shes shown from the waist up, half her body and an arm cut out of the photo. her transformation takes the form of dripping black-purple goop spreading, with a starry texture. a similar texture takes up the image background.

page 2: title: what are superpowers?. “Superpower is a term used for superpowered abilities that go beyond the natural abilities and conventional laws of reality. There are little limits to the potential types of abilities that a super powered person may possess.

It is currently unknown what causes superpowered abilities. Despite many theories, the only known way to guarantee superpowers is to inherit them from a parent.

London has the highest percentage of superpowered people in the entire world, in addition to having 42% of all supers in the united kingdom”

next to this text is a grinning woman in pink winking while posing with one hand on her hip, and the other in a fist held up. the woman has long wavy pale pink hair, light brown skin, many freckles, and hot pink eyes. her outfit is a pink dress and gloves, pale pink tattered cape, and a hot pink long sleeved undershirt.

“how do i use and control my abilities? Superpowered people will typically have an innate sense for how to transform and use their abilities,but like any skill it will take time and effort to fully control their abilities.

In some rare cases, a superpowered person may lack control over their powers to the extent where it can cause harm to those around them.

This is most common in those who have inherited their abilities. In these cases the P.I.S offers programs to assist these people in learning control with 24/7 care and supervision. If you or someone you know requires these programs, please call our number or otherwise contact us via our website.

Due to the range of superpowered abilities, there is no one-size-fits-all method of developing control, however, the P.I.S do offer training services, of which you can read more about atwww.pis.uk/pis-services/training

next to this is a teenage superhero, an androgynous boy with a grey colour scheme, smiling slightly, his arm turning into smoke. he has light grey hair and eyes, brown skin and a dark grey bodysuit. he has a grey poncho/cape conbo and gloves, both of which are lined with light grey fleece or fur. his outfit looks as if is was meant for cold weather.

page 3: what are some other symptoms of superpowered abilities? Superpowers are also accompanied by complete transformations, including bodily and outfit transformations. Body transformations will include a change of eye and hair colour, but can also include a wide variety of changes, commonly including changes to eyes, ears, and hands, animal-like features, changes in shape, colour, additional limbs and features, and more.

below that is 5 examples, inside circles with a white border: a close up of an eye, all blue including sclera, the pupil is pale and slit like a cat. next is a close up of a green haired braid. next if also from behind, a red haired person with red wings, the longest feathers of which are white. while the last three arent of any known character, the latter two are wraith, shown from behind, only showing hair and a cape, and part of an arm, and quartz, a close up of his elf-like ear.

Outfit transformations are even more varied in appearance, and will typically be in various shades of the persons 'main' colour. It is common for the outfit to contain additional accessories, tools, and weapons. Electronic devices created from these transformations do not need recharging and if using internet or data, will use the strongest available signal to do so. It is illegal to create, use, or otherwise have in the open, a weapon in public without a registered superhero licence.

The act of transformation will vary from person to person, but will usually involve a bright light, and is likely to reflect the user's powers of their effects. In the case of those inheriting their abilities, they will inherit body traits and transformations from any and all superpowered ancestors.

The effects of a transformation will likely change through a superpowered person's lifetime. A change will usually happen after a dramatic change in the person's personality, ideals, traumatic incident, or other life development, although a change is not guaranteed, and will rarely occur without these.

The first transformation will usually be the simplest aesthetically both in outfit and body, with simple details, but will usually get more complicated, and it's likely to gain more body transformations as more changes happen. A superpowered person may experience 1-2 changes every 10 years.

Objects and outfits created via transformation will dissipate upon detransformation, regardless of if it is removed from the person. The same goes for additional limbs and features that do not exist on the original body, although these injuries are permanent, unlike clothes and objects which will reform upon transformation.

page 4: other known possibilities of transformations:

- Partial changes to a transformation may occur in the event of permanent injury, such as gaining a prosthetic after losing a limb, but nothing else in the outfit changes.

-It is possible for a transformation's change to be affected by other superpowered persons. This is commonly shown by similarities in outfit transformations, as elements of the superpowered persons apperance change to resemble each other.

-Changes in colour are extremely rare and usually only occur in small aspects

other changes and risks: Some changes are permanent and may not disappear when a superpowered person detransforms.

-Reproductive changes: Any biological offspring will have the exact same powers as the parent. However, pregnancy will be risky, and have a high rate of failure, especially if the mother does not have any superpowered abilities.

-Dreams: While there is no known reason for this occurrence, supers will rarely be able to remember their dreams, except those with dream related abilities or legacy supers. However, despite this the people in question will usually be experiencing nightmares, and superpowered people are at high risk for night terrors and sleep terror disorder.

-A superpowered person's body will adapt to their powers and it is extremely unlikely for one to be harmed by their own power, but this may result in permanent changes that may cause inconvenience in daily life. If this is something you or a loved one experience, please inform your GP

-Overuse of powers: While powers appear to be adapted to not cause harm to the user, overuse of powers can result in a large amount of pain and possible long term damage

below that is an image of two people, on looking like a doctor, a pale man with dull brown hair and dull green eyes, dressed as a doctor and smiling with a clipboard, looking at a person shown from behind, with long mint hair.

page 5: what does this mean for me?

Discovering and controlling your abilities is often the first step one may take inbecoming a superhero. Here at the P.I.S we offer many pathways to doing so,including all required training, courses, and experiences.

We also acknowledge that some super powered people do not seek to become asuperhero, but the P.I.S still has a place for them! We offer many career pathsand courses for almost any job and our career advisors can match up the perfectpower-job combinations to give you a leg up if you are interested in using yourabilities in your career. For more information, visit jobs.pis.uk

Use of powers in a job, or to otherwise earn money using superpowered abilities,without a license is a serious offence that can result in fines starting from £5000,and a potential ban from working in that field.

below is the superhero arrow, grinning at a woman in a plain looking suit. he has one hand on his hip and the other is shaking hands with the woman. the women has red hair and eyes, and pointy red nails.

Due to the nature of superpowered abilities, it is important to gettailored advice and support for affected individuals.For more information call us at our support helpline at 020 7946 0xxx. Both our lines are open from 8:30am-10pm mon-fri and 9:30am-9pm sat.You can also visit our website for more resources at pis.uk/resources. end id]

sorry for last weeks lack of update, irl stuff is happening too much and too fast

anyway heres something ive wanted to do for a while, a pamphlet thats kinda medical style? it seemed like it would be fun and i wanted an excuse to try something new and im always down to infodump (affectionate) about my ocs

however im half asleep, ive already delayed an update for a week, and im a little stressed so i didnt get a proper proofread so sorry if theres any typo or if i left a placeholder in ill get it later if i see any late

edit: did i really forget to fucking finish the fake phone number at the end? anyway sometimes fake phone numbers are reserved for tv and stuff if a phone number is needed, thats the one used for london fake numbers, i just forgot to finish it until i went back to write the id there

#someone always cares #sac #webcomic #lore #worldbuilding #im nervous to post bc i was like. is this to self indulgent? will people like it?#and then i was like bro.#its my fucking webcomic OF COURSE its self indulgent that half the fucking point #some of this is stuff ive rambled lots to friends but realised oh it just hasnt come up in comic so here it is i guess #im hoping this is readable bc i can read it fine on my phone

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1apple-fox1 · 3 years

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card technology and how LDS basically owns the market on not only real solid vision systems but also cards

this is gonna be a wordy post and i apologize in advance. ok first off i just wanna say i am probably the only person who thinks about this shit but i find world stuff and the like interesting to think about. call me obsessed, idc, ive watched arc v 5 times and i just really wanna share this.

it is canon that standard did not start with the other summoning methods, that they are relatively new. we arent ever told what cards are made out of specifically- but considering past shows and their connection to spirits we can assume they arent just simply cards. EX- gx and the crystal beast cards being made from actual gems.

for arc v, id say its the ‘energy signature’ of a card. reiji is shown to have technology that is able to read energy and also tell what kind of energy it is. He also uses a machine to copy pendulum monster cards and they are similar to the originals but not exactly the same. so either the ‘energy’ is the monster spirit itself, or its the magic nonsense that allows it to summon said spirit. either way- a card is not simple to make in the universe.

so that begs the question- how did LDS manage to get the other summoning methods?

well its shown that LDS actually has dimension hopping technology, though it seems rough and unfinished, i have no doubt reiji tried to use it again after his initial teleport to academia. whether he went there physically or not idk, but i theorize he was able to capture or hone in on the cards of those dimensions and copy them the same way he copied yuyas pendulum monsters.

except the LDS fusion/xyz/synchro cards are all weaker than the originals because he probably had limited data.

for fusion its easy to back this up since, anyone from standard who uses fusion doesnt actually use a regular ‘polymerization’ card- because reiji wasnt able to copy it one for one... (your probably thinking- what about kachidoki? well ill get back to that)

Even other characters like yuya, yuzu, and reiji himself are shown to not actually be able to use ‘polymerization’ more than once. standard users who have fusion monsters rely on other methods such as deck themed fusion cards, monster effects, or in the case of reiji: contract cards

this extends to the other methods too but in more subtle ways. hokuto is only able to xyz summon after changing his monsters levels, yaiba can only synchro summon using effects that treat monsters like tuners (both him and gon only have one tuner in their decks at the start) you could also argue that the fact they are missing ‘rank up’ cards or any support magic cards for synchro monsters as another way in which standard made xyz/synchro are weaker.

so- where the fuck am i going with this? well LDS is shown to be the only thing with access to these other cards. its not clear, but it looks like using the method can take a toll on the users body and i do not know if thats a matter of energy needed to summon a monster and having to train ones body or what but-

these cards are not easy to make, and there are limited copies in stock.

other summoning method cards are expensive to buy in standard. why am i saying this? well one- yu show duel school is shown to not have access to any, shuzo himself says hes never used the cards, and its possible that its because he cant afford it. none of the other schools in the tournament use other summoning methods. that is except...

kachidoki and his school.

not only that, but they also have a regular ‘polymerization’ card. your probably thinking this is where all this falls apart. but think about it- ryozanpaku is shown to be probably the second most popular and highest grossing duel school. its not a stretch to think they PAID LDS a hefty sum of money for their own stock of cards. and what did LDS give them? their first copies of the ‘polymerization’ cards. they are weaker but relatively work the same- but most of the students still rely on it AND monster effects.

but if thats the case- if these cards cost so much and only LDS has access to them... not only do they now own that market, theyve basically created a huge gap and money cap for players of the game in standard. people arent gonna wanna go to a duel school that does not have the means to teach them these other methods of play. standard summoning becomes a laughing stock- no one can win with just standard summoning! duel schools start going out of business because they simply lack students. LDS and only a FEW other schools remain and all of them focus on those methods- not standard summoning...

LDS has complete and total control of the market.

of course arc v doesnt show us if anywhere else in the standard dimension has this tech but if we’ve seen anything from reira- its quite likely japan is the most advanced in this field, as weapons and cards seem to go hand in hand because of their innate power to destroy... ANYWAYS

what does this mean for the game in standard? well if things kept going how they were its quite possible the level of entry into the game becomes so high that you have to be born with privilege to even have a chance at grabbing a spot and not being immediately kicked out.

but something more interesting- and the real like theory part i guess is... when something becomes too expensive to get- ppl start making knock offs. people start making fake cards, some of them work on the duel disk- others do not, but the older the card the easier to copy and cheat the duel disk code. suddenly theres a bunch of copies of strong ishijimas cards, or even yusho’s cards. (thats how the bully managed to make an exact replica of strong ishijimas deck)

theres just a group of people now who just dont even use duel disk and just play on mats- denounce the new summoning method and actively hate what the game has become- but its still seen as lesser... and still other methods cannot be copied.

theres no real end to this theory beyond the fact that this shit is kinda messed up and mirrors shit in our world to an eerie point but like... uh i hope you enjoyed this? i like thinking of the game duel monsters in the world of arc v instead of the normal ass card game that it is irl so-- uh yeah pls tell me what you think about this and add on to it if you have something to share! sorry for the long post--

#long post #arc v #theory #head canon #leo duel school #yugioh #ygo arc v

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erbis-artist · 3 years

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Ok. So this post thread is basically me venting and ranting about social media. If u are uncomfortable or dont care about this u can scroll pass it.

What I wanted to say is: I had enough. Every time I get msgs from my friends that somekind haters shit on my page and accuses me of shit for what I havent done. They repost my art without my permission, rip my comments out of context and this is already for a month or 2.

I got only 1 question: why? Why are u doing this? What do u want to do with spreading crap about me? U want to take me down? U want to make people hate me? Well I will tell u 1 thing - I dont care anymore. Do whatever the f*ck u want, if u got nothing better to do than shit on a person who minds their own buisness.

I had enough of those toxic shitters shitting on my ship (kruelee) that its toxic, while they ship 2 enemies who hate each other (kruecent) together. I had enough of people reposting my art and saying I draw something wrong just because of my artstyle. I had enough of this shit and I dont care anymore.

PS: if u are a kruecent shipper, I dont hate u as long as u dont hate on kruelee and spread shit about it. I respect all shippers until it gets shitty like this and people share their hateful opinions about a fictional ship, which causes innocent shippers getting into trouble because of haters/people who cant hold their mouth full of shit shut.

But at same time, I cant be quiet. I have to speak up and show people I aint the bad guy, because silence usually proofs u are at fault. All I want to do is reach equality. I had enough that shippers like me get blocked for their ship and get hateful comments on their posts, even tho they dont send it to anyone in private and just mind their own buisness creating. I had enough and I stand up for them and am ready to be their shield.

U think u do something good by hating on someone for shipping 2 fictional characters who are both adults? And then u scream someone of these shippers puts their opinions on your hateful opinions??? Lmao then u arent any better. U arent a god to be pure or perfect, u arent god to judge others for what they like. And if u think our opinions arent valid - your arent either.

I speak for all my friends and my favourite artists whom I support in what they do, and seeing hateful comments on their works I wont tolerate. Ok me, I dont care anymore. But others - its too much. U did enough by harrasing us for a somekind artstyle/fictional ship which isnt changable/isnt even real. U broke so many souls, who didnt deserve that.

I had enough watching how my close friends suffer from u all, who harrass us for nothing. Who accuse me, personally, in "sexualisation" "fetish" "toxicity in shipping" even tho they themselves create NSFW content and participate in NSFW rps while being a horny minor.

I had enough of this f*cked up hypocrisy. I had enough of someone thinking they are a king/god to control us. I am speaking up to stop all of this shit.

Now, if u are THAT person reading this and planning to post another hate post. Just stop doing that. U think u are helping? U think u are doing something good? All u do is showing u got nothing better to do, nor do u show you are better. In fact u behave like a immature kid, thinking u are doing SUUUUCH A BIG THING shitting on someone.

Instead of forgetting about us, not giving a shit about our existence, working hard and becoming better in what u like to do - u waste your time.

U wont take me down. I aint the type of person who will fall in front of your hypocritical feet and obey. I wont apologize for what I havent done. I wont give up. I wont accept the fact u are still here screaming shit about me and my friends. I will prove everyone that u are wrong, a hypocrite who likes j**king off on p*rn and posting crap.

Now, to my dearest fans and friends: I love u all and care for u a lot, I am sorry about everything u had to go through, I am sorry u saw so many bad things about me, I am sorry u had to deal with hate also. I am at fault I couldnt protect u nor could I control my rage because of which I f*cked up.

Please, if u are seeing this, care to share the truth, I dont want anyone more suffering, I want to stop all of this harrasment once and for all. Also DONT INTERACT WITH THEM, THEY ARE EXTREMELY MANIPULATIVE!!!

Now, I will post all the proofs they are the hypocrites and not me. Also the proofs contain lewds, NSFW, and other triggering things, 1st I will post innocent things, then the whole NSFW they created.

#personal vent #sorry for the rant #my rants #tw rant #rant

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centerhobi · 3 years

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Okay hear me out. I'm struggling a bit with kingdom we had the shirt thing with Felix recently too. I'm just here being like *-* then like okay but arent we just over-sexualizing them?

If I was a guy and it was a female artist I'd be called out and everyone would be up in arms about her treatment in the industry.

Arrrg I'm conflicted!!

I agree with you anon, it's a bit tricky. However, I think it's to be expected that fans will go insane over stuff like this and that's precisely why they do it. It gets them views and exposure, maybe they enjoy the attention their bodies get (cause they work hard for it and they should be proud of it). But I don't think they are being forced to do it. They have a lot of say in what does and what doesn't go into their performances and I don't think they have to take off their shirts if they don't want to.

The fact remains, however, that men simply do not have to live through the centuries of gender oppression that women have to carry on their backs. If a female artist does a sexy performance it can definitely feel empowering to her and her female audience but she often times still performs for the male gaze. Because what is seen as sexy and hot is defined by what heterosexual men deem sexy and hot. On the other hand, if men do a sexy performance it is STILL perceived through the male gaze. ("From the male perspective, a man possesses the gaze because he is a man, whereas a woman possesses the gaze only when she assumes the role of a man, and thus possesses the male gaze when she objectifies other people, by gazing at them as would a man." (x)) It's the male gaze (and the patriarchy in general) that uphold these beauty standards and perpetuate the objectification of people but it is mostly women that experience the real-life effects of it. "The male gaze creates a power imbalance. It supports a patriarchal status quo, perpetuating women’s real-life sexual objectification." (x) So yes, you would be called out if it were reversed but that is because men and women live completely different realities and objectifying women carries much more real-life repercussions. The two are barely comparable.

Are men suddenly going to be oppressed now that we've seen Felix's and Chan's abs? No. Who of us go out into the world and start thinking of the men around us as sex objects now that we've seen Felix's and Chan's abs? No one. The fact that you sent me this ask worrying about it shows that you see them as human beings and not just sex objects. And looking at all the content in the fandom I feel like all facets are being covered. Yes, there is horny/nsfw content but there is also so much content out there that appreciates them for their personalities and for their talents and their creativity. And I would argue that most fans love them for more than just one of these aspects.

I personally think (and that's my viewpoint for most fandom related things) that as long as we go insane about it in a different space and not somewhere where the artist can directly see the comments that are made about them, it's okay to go a little bit crazy. Chan knew what he was doing and it's not gonna be the end of the world if we thirst over him for a bit because I know come Sunday I'm gonna cry over how adorkably cute he is.

#disclaimer: these are just my opinions and not straight facts #also pls don't take me as someone who knows shit i'm literally just rambling #lmao the funniest thing is that i don't even like abs #like felix's shirt lifting did nothing for me #skz #chan #felix

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alexanderpusheen · 3 years

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what frustrates me the most abt this china narrative is that the US created al qaeda and ISIS, those groups are recruiting and causing terrorism in xinjiang, china has been trying to handle the situation with re-education programs often suggested by westerners, and its still being treated as this major human rights violation. there are actually dozens of countries with several robust anti radicalization programs that are just as strict, like singapore, colombia, yemen, bangladesh, saudi arabia, and indonesia. this paper ive linked to was even funded by the DHS so like...why has detaining someone and basically reverse brainwashing them out of being a terrorist been so acceptable for so long but now its an issue?

if you take issue with chinas program, you have to prove its somehow exceptional to these other programs. since we really dont have any way of knowing what is truth or reality thanks to the enormous disinformation campaign going on, you fucking cant. we dont even know what the programs entail because even googling it gets you exclusively hyperbolic concentration camp accusations.

what i will say is that relations between the han majority and the uyghur minority have been strained since at least the 80s. link is the notoriously conservative and pro US intervention human rights watch, so dont say im using pro commie sources or anything. every time i do any bit of research on this i seem to find an attempt from major news outlets in the early to mid 2000s or late 20-teens to prove this all started or became dramatically worse now, but things have always been tense. and its not really a surprise that things really got bad after the collapse of the soviet union, an event that was geographically close to china and the xinjiang region and also just like, a fucking major global event in general.

what i find to be very odd is just how dramatically the narrative has changed. the diplomat, one of my favorite periodicals, went from taking very nuanced and balanced positions on xinjiang that i almost completely agreed with to being just as aggressive as outlets like the BBC and CNN in the span of five years. they have eleven pages worth of articles on xinjiang, mostly covering the terrorism and beijings response (which i agree is too harsh) and xinjiang muslims’ relationships to the greater muslim world.

an example is how this article talks about the conflict at the time which warns of escalating violence as a result of han chauvinism and beijing being unable to deal with the extremism holistically. it points out how there were uyghurs captured among taliban ranks in afghanistan and how many might have even been working with ISIL.

The threat will not be an existential one to the Chinese state, as most Uighurs would prefer a peaceful accommodation. But even if only 1 percent of Uighurs hold extreme views, there are 10 million in Xinjiang and even for a state security apparatus as formidable as China’s, 100,000 or more angry people present a tough challenge.

i think its totally right that china does not allow people in that area to have cars, woodcutting tools, and amonium nitrate (which is used in bombs) is very strictly regulated. i completely agree that this is not how you combat terrorism. most people do not want war and broadly punishing these people is itself a human rights violation that went unnoticed until now.

however, in that same year, the diplomat also published this article about the infamous turkestan islamic party. members of TIP are like, literal jihadists lmfao.

TIP fighters call on the world’s Muslims to join the jihad against Western countries in internet videos. Perhaps most worringly for China, the TIP believes that Muslims may fight locally using various means instead of coming to Syria and Iraq to conduct a “holy war” against the “infidel” Western regimes.

yeah i definitely want to hear more about what these guys have to say. the article is really good because i think it highly illustrates just how dangerous these people are. theyve killed hundreds of people across china and want to establish a fascist religious state in xinjiang. while the article speaks for itself, i believe the last paragraph really highlights why china is being singled out whereas countries like france and canada are considered allies to muslims for whatever reason:

However, as experience has shown, China takes a passive position in the struggle against global Islamic jihad in Syria and Iraq. Beijing has not sent its troops to the Middle East to fight ISIS and has instead confined itself to diplomatic support for Russia and the United States. The Chinese government uses the attacks of Islamic jihadists to persuade Western countries to support Beijing’s position on Xinjiang and turn a blind eye when the freedom and rights of Uyghurs are harshly suppressed by Chinese security forces. Therefore, China is not perceived by the West as a reliable partner in the fight against terrorism. [emphasis mine]

im just a little surprised to see that a lot of these violent attacks from extremists throughout the years have targeted not just han chinese but also other uyghurs. in the west people do not typically sympathize with terrorists as freedom fighters, even on the left, because we know that no matter how angry or how seemingly justified the violence might seem, terrorism is unacceptable and it grossly misrepresents islam. it is a fascist act because those terrorists often follow an extremely right wing version of islam. also, we know that those who carry out terrorist attacks even outside of the west are middle class and professionals in some way, not poor and marginalized people. the level of nuance afforded to terrorists outside of xinjiang is pretty staggering.

yet in china, there seems to be this excitement than they are killing chinese people, even if some of those chinese are other uyghers or otherwise muslims. those who carry out attacks in xinjiang dont get any nuance or analysis because theyre justified.

ive referenced the diplomat earlier but this article from 2013 says it perfectly: Call Tiananmen Attack What It Was: Terrorism. except terrorism is bad. and the west wants you to support the uyghurs. and make no mistake, they do not want you to support the millions of uyghurs who want to live peacefully, free of any repression, american or chinese. they want you to support the jihadists randomly blowing up chinese and tourists alike because you are meant to sympathize with their plight.

terrorism isnt something to be romantacized or cheered on. it is something someone or someones do when they feel they have no other option. people do not want to kill even those they feel they have every right to because thats a line you cant uncross. murder changes you, justified or not. see the last chapter of wretched of the earth for this.

terrorism is great, however, for destabilizing a region or a country, and xinjiang is resource-rich. establishing a US-friendly regime, no matter how good they are on human rights, is the goal. the US does not care about muslims. they do not care about human rights. china, also, does not really seem to care about muslims or human rights either. but we’ve seen this since vietnam, and the US has learned since vietnam. the vietnamese were sympathetic. they were minding their business.

after vietnam, merely being communist isnt enough to warrant invasion. theyre killing their own people. nevermind that bolsonaro kills his own people and no one wants to invade (yet--biden has mention sanctions wrt us which is scary but again, thats got everything to do with making sure latin america is loyal to the west, not HR offenses). korea, although it was before vietnam, was less publicized and learning from vietnam gave the US a valuable lesson: always blame the victim. and thus, the US blames the victims of its violence. even if its ‘justified’, even if its ‘true,’ as was the case with saddam hussein, invading and occupying was the nightmare no one but the imperialists anticipated. because they dont broadcast what occupying forces do to the occupied. i am old enough to remember abu ghraib. have it seared in my memory forever. you perhaps are also old enough to remember, but also think millions of abu ghraibs and guantanamo bays are always worth it, always justified.

i know people arent going to read this and remind me really rudely that they didnt read it but i want to really emphasize how one of imperialism and colonialisms features is ethnic and racial separatism. how the rwandan genocide couldnt have happened without previous belgian and french rule. how yugoslavia wouldve remained a single country had it not been for NATO. i think its easy to diminish the role of the colonizer in all of this, but it is actually one of its goals: divide and conquer. exacerbate the existing conflicts to the point of genocide.

and if the west succeeds in balkanizing china, you will get more racism rather than less. you will see more violence against muslim minorities rather than less. they will feel less empowered rather than more. china has to learn that they are also to blame in a way that will be catastrophic for over a billion people. han chauvinism and outright racism must be addressed beyond window dressing.

wrapping up, china is in the wrong here. what theyre doing is racist and humiliating a population that has to be empowered. and the one child rule, even for the han majority, is imo fucking evil lol like sorry tankie tumblr im tankie too but i cannot for the life of me accept that as a good thing.... but i also dont buy the accusations of genocide, because even tho a lot of these articles are kind of glossing over it, china is trying to handle the terrorism in the region. imo theyre feeding into it by getting more han in the area, but also having more han but forcing them to take worse jobs would be a show of good will. idk, this situation is extremely complex and frankly, most uyghers do not want secession.

i also take extreme issue with people saying that adrian zenz is somehow reliable. not only is he a nazi crackpot, hes also literally the only source for almost all of what we know about this in the west. that is not how you do journalism. i dont understand how people are saying ‘yeah hes an extremely fascist grifter but also i believe him because hes anti communist and also anti china’. thats also not really the point? the point is that hes also the ONLY SOURCE on almost all of this, which is alarming.

i also find it very startling that in order to keep interest in the story, every few weeks the US has to remind people that the chinese are also doing what the US is doing to women in its own camps. forget that the US is separating minors from parents (since 2008). forget that the US is sterilizing women en masse (since 2017). forget that the US is raping women at the border (since there was a border). forget the US even has camps because now they arent even called that anymore. this is not that ‘you can be angry at two things at once’ but a clearly cynical attempt to get its citizens to forget that the US is detaining, deporting, sterilizing, and raping, and gassing non US nationals.

they are not ‘your own people.’ they are me. the other. i am an immigrant to the US, currently in my country of birth, so i am the other to you, the american. the chinese are doing the evil crime of killing their own. but the americans could never kill their own because they dont consider black americans to be their own. latin american nationals are not their own. bombing millions globally is not their own. thats always justifiable. there is clearly an element of racism in how these crimes are perceived as more or less evil.

the way immigrants and black americans are brutalized in the US is almost naturalized. like its the way things are supposed to be. you can live with that. its upsetting that you have to hear about antiblackness and the like but you know thats just how life is. you dont necessarily call for the US to be sanctioned or bombed by other countries because you believe in the inherent goodness of white america. but countries like china and iran and north korea deserve to be starved and killed for their crimes. and you can never say ‘maybe bombing and starving a country isnt the answer’ because it means you agree with it. you can never say ‘this is clearly propaganda to make me hate another race so much’ because it means youre a genocide denier. im sorry, but again, i remember iraq in 2003, i remember libya in 2011. i dont buy it.

finally, theres been a lot of attacks on asian people in the US lately and if you cannot see the violent way the US talks about china the country and how that influences people to harm asians within the US then idk what else to tell you. people will really believe this shit and say the chinese are all blood thirsty islamaphobes and thus need to be harmed. ‘im not like that! i defend my asian friends from racism!’ thats nice and all but idk how spreading some sinophobic propaganda designed by the US to make you support some kind of violence against one billion chinese people isnt inherently racist. also its unhelpful because sanctions dont really solve problems. but ive spoken too much.

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