#i should advance their story in the plot sense
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Fool Me Twice [5/?]
Hello, remember this series? This chapter took me like six months to write. It was very embarrassing opening up the google doc again to see that the last edit was in April (back when I rewrote this chapter from scratch five times over before giving up entirely.) Anyways, I need to post it before I lose my nerve. 😭
Part 5 ft. fake dating, a cold, and an intervention
You can read part 1 [here]! (No context is needed aside from the previous 4 parts).
—
The drive to Good Day Diner is uneventful. Francesca recommended it to him awhile back, when they were both still in college, and he’s been trying to puzzle out their recipes ever since. Though, even with the ones where he’s come close, he rarely has the time to make them properly, in between work and everything else, so he’s been back here a few times since then.
Yves picks up two pint-sized containers worth of soup—chicken farro and miso with ginger—and strikes up a conversation with the cashier while he waits.
“This isn’t your usual order,” she says.
“Yeah,” Yves says. “It’s for a friend.”
“They’re a fan of miso?”
Yves considers this. They’ve gone to more than a couple work outings together, and though Yves hasn’t paid particularly close attention to what everyone else has ordered, he thinks he remembers Vincent getting miso salmon on one occasion, a few weeks back. “I’m not sure,” he says. “I hope so.”
“Your friend didn’t tell you their order?”
“He doesn’t know I’m getting dinner for him. I just happened to be passing by, so I thought I might as well.” That part’s not entirely true—the restaurant is a twenty minute drive from the office, and it’s not really on the way home, either.
“So it’s a surprise,” the girl says, leaning back with a smile that looks a little too knowing for Yves’s liking. Whatever she thinks she’s figured out, he’s sure she has the wrong idea. “That’s awfully nice of you.”
“It’s not like that,” Yves says. “We aren’t that close. I’m not even sure if he’ll be happy to see me.”
“Why’s that?”
“He’s done a lot for me, and I think—” I think I might’ve repaid him in the most ungrateful way possible, his mind supplies unhelpfully. “I think all I’ve done, in return, is cause him trouble.”
The girl finishes ladling soup into the containers and reaches over the counter for two caps. “Usually when people do a lot for you, that means they like you.”
“Or it means they’re just really nice,” Yves says. “I think that’s closer to it.”
“So you’re getting him soup because you feel indebted to him?” She sets the soup containers carefully into a brown paper bag, slips in two plastic sleeves worth of utensils, then slides it towards him.
“Something like that,” Yves says, taking the bag from her. “Thanks, I’ll let you know how it goes the next time I’m back. Have a good one!”
“You too,” she says. “I hope your friend appreciates it.”
It’s not as nice as treating Vincent to dinner, but maybe what Vincent needs right now is convenience, not luxury. if he’s already made up his mind about working late, then at least he can work late with dinner on the side. Yves doesn’t even have to talk to him, really. He can just leave the soup on Vincent’s desk with a note, as unobtrusively as possible, and then take his leave again.
The drive back is shorter than expected. Yves turns on the radio, if only to not be left with just his thoughts, and listens to the newscaster talk about traffic, and the weather, and a local festival that’s going to be held on friday. When he puts the car into park and pulls the keys out from the ignition, the silence that follows is not reassuring in the least.
He pockets his keys and heads up the stairs, into the office building, and takes the elevator up to the fifth floor. The office is well-lit, even this late at night—it gives the impression of it being perpetually daytime, even though the clock on the wall says otherwise.
He takes a post-it note off of Cara’s desk, scrawls on: Figured you wouldn’t have time to get dinner, so I got you soup, and signs it: -Y. He sticks the note onto the paper bag, regards it for a moment, and then—after reconsidering—staples it on, just in case.
Then he heads off—past rows and rows of desks, around the corner and through the hallway, past the break room, to stop at the doorway which overlooks the room where Vincent sits.
Vincent is still at his desk, paging through documents with one hand, scrolling through what looks to be a long list of email correspondences with the other. From this distance, it’s hard to tell that anything is off, except—
He looks exhausted. It’s subtle, but once Yves notices it, he can’t stop noticing it. It’s present in the way Vincent holds himself, as if the wiry frame of the office chair is the only thing keeping him properly upright. It’s in the way he blinks hard at his monitor, his eyebrows furrowed slightly, as if he’s been staring at it for hours.
There’s a mug of what looks to be black coffee on his desk, half empty but still steaming, which seems to imply that he plans on staying much later. Yves clears his throat.
“Still working hard?” he says.
Vincent’s gaze snaps up to where Yves is standing. “Yves,” he says. “I thought you left.”
“I did.”
“Did you forget something here?” Vincent dog-ears the page he’s flipped to, then sets the stack of papers off to the side. “I can help you look.”
“No,” Yves says. “Well, not exactly. I know you said you didn’t want to be bothered. I promise I’ll be out of here soon.”
“Okay,” Vincent says, expectantly.
“Have you eaten?”
“I ate,” Vincent says. The relief Yves feels, at that statement, is unfortunately short-lasted. “Lunch. A few hours ago.”
“Lunch was eight hours ago.”
“I’ll eat tomorrow.”
“Will you catch up on sleep tomorrow too?”
“If I manage to finish this by then,” Vincent says, “Then yes.”
Yves stares at him. Does Vincent really, truly think there’s nothing wrong with any of this? With whatever sleepless, miserable late-night work session he’s already seemingly resigned himself to?
“So what? You’re going to crash on the couch here?”
“I’ll head home around 4,” Vincent says.
4am. “And what? Lay down for fifteen minutes?”
“Three hours, maybe,” Vincent says, turning aside to muffle a cough into his elbow. “I don’t live that far.”
He says all of this in earnest, as though none of it strikes him as even the slightest bit unreasonable. Yves can’t help it—he doesn’t think he could hide the incredulity in his voice even if he tried. “You have to be kidding me.”
Finally, Vincent’s face shifts to show—something. Something other than the utter blankness from before, something past the civil, perfectly drawn business facade. Yves doesn’t have to look for very long to register it as frustration. “What part of my answer was unclear?”
“None of it is unclear,” Yves says. “It’s just… exceptionally unreasonable.”
“By some arbitrary metric of yours, sure.”
“Ask anyone else at the office and they’d agree with me.”
“What you—or anyone else at the office—think about my sleep schedule doesn’t concern me.”
“Let me help,” Yves says. “Please. We’ll get it done twice as fast if I help. Or if you really don’t trust me, hand it off to someone you do trust.”
“There’s no need. It’s my work to get done.”
“You should be at home right now, not working overtime on your first day back,” Yves says. He looks over all of it, now—over the desktop computer and the monitor, the charts and graphs laid out on screen, the piles of paperwork currently occupying Vincent’s desk. There’s a pang in his chest that he hadn’t quite accounted for. “It can’t be pleasant doing all of this with a headache.”
Vincent blinks at him. “What headache?”
“The one you’ve had since before I left.” Vincent can attempt to deny it if he wants. But between Leon, Yves’s younger brother, and Victoire, his younger sister—who’ve caught their fair share of colds throughout the years, between the other members of the crew team he’d spent his 6ams with—who he’s seen frequently tired and occasionally under the weather—Yves thinks he’s well equipped to recognize a headache.
And Vincent looks as put-together as always, for the most part—he looks like he could’ve just walked out of a photoshoot for some classy magazine, his hair neat, his tie done neatly, his suit jacket criminally well-fitted to his shoulders. But Yves doesn’t miss the stiff set of his jaw and the tension strung through his posture, the way he tilts his head ever-so-slightly away from the bright overhead lights as if it hurts to look at them, the way he rubs his eyes or pinches the bridge of his nose, always subtle enough to go unnoticed. The way he holds himself, now, as if it’s taking all of his energy to appear so presentable.
“I don’t,” Vincent starts. “I haven’t—”
“I can tell, you know,” Yves says, a little dejectedly. “I’m pretty sure it’s my fault you have one, anyways.”
Vincent frowns. “Talking to you hasn’t given me a headache.”
“Not that,” Yves says. “But I’d imagine that spending all of New Year’s Eve next to me when I was under the weather might have.”
Yves watches the surprise flicker across Vincent’s face.
“So that’s what this is about?” Vincent says slowly, his eyebrows furrowing. He looks—confused, now, taken aback by Yves’s admission—and then a little sad. “You’re just here because you feel guilty.”
“I do feel guilty,” Yves agrees—that much is true. “But that’s not why I’m here.” he feels hopeless, suddenly, attempting to explain himself to someone who would probably have preferred it if he never bothered. Perhaps he shouldn’t have come. Perhaps it was presumptuous to think that he could help in the first place. “I realize now that I can’t change your mind on any of this. But even if you plan to stay here all night, I— I just thought maybe I could—”
He’s interrupted with a harsh, “hhHh’NGk-t!” which jerks Vincent forward in his seat. Then a soft, wet sniffle, and then another— “Excuse m—Hhh’GKT!”, neatly pinched off into his hands. Vincent’s eyes flutter shut as he cups both his hands over his mouth, his eyebrows drawing together as his shoulders tremble with an inhale: “hih… hiIIh… hI’GKSCHHuuh-! Snf-! hH… HEh’DZSSChhUH!”
It’s immediately followed up with a few harsh, grating coughs which leave Vincent hunched over slightly, his glasses slightly askew, his hands still cupped to his face.
“Bless you,” Yves says, a little stunned.
Vincent doesn’t say anything to that—he just reaches across the desk for a tissue and blows his nose quietly into it, before he discards the tissue into a small metal trash can under the desk. The tips of his ears look a little red.
His throat probably hurts too, Yves realizes, with a jolt. Yves really shouldn’t be prolonging this conversation if he can help it.
“I, uh, brought soup,” he says awkwardly. The paper bag crinkles slightly as he lifts it. “Just so you wouldn’t have to skip dinner entirely. That’s why I was gone earlier. I initially meant to just drop it off here, not—” he clears his throat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to argue with you.”
Vincent is quiet for a moment longer. Then he says, “You didn’t have to do that.”
“What? Bring you dinner?
“You didn’t have to come back at all.”
“I know that,” Yves says. “But I wanted to.”
Vincent takes the bag from him, lifts the post-it note so he can read the few lines Yves has scrawled onto it. He turns aside to muffle a few coughs into his sleeve. “This must have been a lot of trouble.”
“Not more trouble than attending a New Year’s party on someone else’s behalf, that’s for sure,” Yves says. It’s a wonder that Vincent agreed to that arrangement in the first place—Yves doesn’t know how he’ll even begin to make it up to him. “If we’re keeping count, I still owe you.”
Vincent regards him for a moment, his expression unreadable. “I never thought that you owed me.”
“Okay,” Yves says. “Then I’m doing this on my own accord.”
“What do you possibly have to gain from that?”
Is it not obvious enough? Yves sighs. “Nothing. I care about you.”
Carefully, slowly, Vincent opens the bag, shifts his documents over to the other side of the desk, and takes out the two containers of soup. Yves regards them closely—hopefully they’ve still retained most of their warmth, even after the drive here.
“I’m not sure if they’ll be to your taste,” he says, a little sheepishly. “If you tell me what you like, next time I’ll try to keep it in mind.”
“I’m not picky,” Vincent says. He rummages through the paper bag for a spoon. “I think I’d like both of these. Have you eaten already?”
“Not yet,” Yves says. Perhaps he should’ve picked up dinner for himself at Good Day, too—he’d been so preoccupied with getting something for Vincent that he’d forgotten. Either way, it’s inconsequential. There’s probably enough in the fridge to last a day or two before his next grocery run.
“You also got dinner for yourself, right?”
Yves must hesitate for a moment too long.
“That’s a little hypocritical,” Vincent says. “Do you want to pull up a chair?”
“What?”
“You haven’t eaten. You brought two soups.”
“They were both supposed to be for you.”
“You’re already here.” Vincent says. He shuts his laptop and leaves it off to the side, clears a space on the table, and sets the chicken farro soup in front of Yves. As if it really is that simple.
Yves stares down at it, a little perplexed. I thought you didn’t want to speak to me, he wants to say.
“Unless you’d just prefer to take this home,” Vincent says, misinterpreting his silence as hesitation.
“No,” Yves says. “You’re right. I’ll pull up a chair.”
—
Yves ends up dragging over a chair from one of the tables nearby—he makes a mental note to put it back before they leave. Vincent shuts his laptop and leaves it off to the side.
“Now we’re both staying past nine,” Vincent says.
“Yes,” Yves says. “I’ve always wanted to see what this place turns into at night.”
“Does it live up to your expectations?”
“It’s a bit of a ghost town,” Yves says. “But not in a bad way. Feels like I could take all the snacks out of the break room and no one would bat an eye.”
“That’s the real reason why I’m here right now,” Vincent says, so deadpan that it barely sounds like a joke. Yves laughs.
Something about this scene—about sitting with Vincent, here, having dinner on the only corner of his office desk that isn’t occupied by documents—feels a little nostalgic.
“This is just like when I first joined,” he says. “When you were helping me with all the onboarding stuff.”
Back when he first joined, Vincent’s desk was a frequent destination. It’s not that Vincent is particularly friendly—it’s more just that Vincent is really, really good. He has expertise in things that he’s only done once in his life, and he can spot mistakes at a glance. He’s patient, too, even though Yves thinks that if the roles had been reversed, anyone teaching Vincent anything would never have to exercise any patience at all.
He can’t blame Angelie for looking to Vincent for help, either. It wasn’t that long ago that Yves was the one hovering at his desk, watching Vincent go through relevant work over his shoulder.
“The first couple weeks are - snf-! - always difficult,” Vincent says. “But you picked things up quickly.”
“I can’t imagine you as a beginner at anything,” Yves muses.
“Everyone’s - snf -! - a beginner at s-some— hH-! Just a second—” Vincent turns his head away sharply, burying his nose into his shoulder before— “hh’GKt-! Hh… Hhh’IIZSCchuhH! snf-! Hh-! hhih… HiH’GKT-!... Hh… hHih… hIH’IKTSHhh’uuh!”
“Bless you,” Yves says reflexively.
“Thank you,” Vincent says, with a small cough, which he muffles into his sleeve. He sighs. His voice has held up pretty well, but Yves can hear the muted edge of congestion in his voice, softening his consonants. “What was that you said to me? ‘You’ll get tired of that phrase really quickly?’”
“I won’t if you get over this cold soon,” Yves says. “Maybe that’s the real reason why I brought soup.”
“So that’s why you’re being suspiciously nice to me,” Vincent says, with a laugh. “I’m relieved to know you’ve had ulterior motives all along.”
Everything gets easier, after that. Vincent seems to enjoy the soup, for the way his eyes widen, almost imperceptibly, after he takes his first bite. (“So I was right to think you’d like miso,” Yves says, and Vincent laughs and says, “Am I really that predictable?”) When Yves offers again to help, after dinner, Vincent wordlessly hands him a small stack of business proposals. It’s not much, but just the fact that he’s agreeing to let Yves help is already a step in the right direction—give Yves an inch, and he’ll take a mile.
Yves looks through all of the documents he’s handed, scrawling notes in the margins, and then goes through another third of the stack of unreviewed paper on Vincent’s desk, while Vincent scrolls through pages of spreadsheets, processing data and creating new graphs. Vincent is almost frighteningly efficient, even when he’s not feeling his best—they lapse into a comfortable silence, interrupted only by the occasional, near-inaudible hitch in Vincent’s breath, always followed by a wrenching sneeze, or two.
There’s the coughing, too—always muffled tightly into his sleeve, after Vincent turns to face away from him, which must be exhausting. Yves doesn’t know why he bothers. It’s not as though he can catch this cold again.
(“Bless you,” Yves says, after the tenth-or-so sneeze, trying not to let the concern creep into his voice. “I think the pharmacy near 59th is still open. If you want, I can stop by and grab you something for your symptoms.”
“No need,” Vincent says. “If it - hh-! - gets bad enough, I’ll — Hhh-!”
“Bless you again—”
“hihH’IZSCHhhuh! - snf-! - I’ll get something myself.”
Yves wonders what his metric for bad enough is. Then again, it’s probably better not to press.)
It’s nearly eleven before Yves decides to head home at last.
“I can’t thank you enough,” Vincent says, with a rueful sniffle. “You must be tired.”
“Not really,” Yves says. “I usually sleep pretty late. If you’re still feeling this bad tomorrow, take the day off.”
“I’ll think about it,” Vincent says.
Yves sighs. “At the very least, promise me you’ll head home sooner rather than later?”
“No promises,” Vincent says—though at the disapproving look Yves gives him, he amends, “But I’ll try.”
He sounds like he means it, at the very least. Yves supposes he’ll take what he can get.
[ Part 6 ]
#snz fic#sneeze fic#sneeze kink#snz kink#snz#i cannot decide if i want to write another chapter of this where vincent gets even worse or if#i should advance their story in the plot sense#i do like these two and want to write more of them in the future if people are still interested in reading more of them :')#my fic#yvverse
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Reusing the memory system from botw for the tears of the dragon storyline in totk was such a terrible decision on so many different levels that it’s honestly kind of impressive.
While the botw memory system had flaws of its own, there was one small but significant thing that worked in its favour: botw’s memories were largely separate from the main plot in the past, and have absolutely no bearing on the story being told in the present. Aside from a few specific instances (ie the calamity striking, the ceremony, Link and Zelda becoming closer) the memories are all self-contained moments that emphasize character development over driving the story. Because there’s no major narrative throughline between them, it gives players more freedom to discover in any order regardless of how much they’ve progressed through the main quest without running the risk of stumbling across a memory that ruins something else later on in the game.
(This got long so the rest of my analysis is going under the cut.)
The biggest change between the memories from botw and the dragon’s tears from totk is definitely what kind of information these cutscenes relay to you as the player. Botw’s memories are primarily snapshots of small interpersonal moments that hold very little significance to the greater narrative taking place in the past. Totk’s memories are the greater narrative. With only one major exception -that I’ll touch on in a sec-, every cutscene in the dragon’s tears shows a crucial moment of story development with no time left to explore the characters driving that story forwards. There’s no organic moment revealing, say, a quirk of Rauru’s that Mineru finds annoying, or Sonia’s sense of humour, or any of our literal Main Villain Ganondorf’s motivations for going to war with Hyrule. If there’s any moments of character focus they only happen in ways that advance the plot (meaning the only real character focus is on the characters totk wants the entire universe to orbit around, namely Rauru and Zelda), and as such it’s harder to bring myself to care about what happens to anyone.
To illustrate the point I’m trying to make here, compare the memories of the champions Link regains during the divine beast quests to the conversations with the ancient sages at the end of each temple. The memories make passing mentions of the ongoing preparations for the calamity, but the real purpose of those scenes is to showcase who the champions were as people before their deaths and give us a reason to mourn them, even though we know at the start of our journey that they’re all long gone. In contrast, the conversations with the ancient sages are all about the events of the imprisoning war and their promise to Zelda that their descendants will come to Link’s aid in the future, very obviously copy pasted for each of the five times that cutscene is brought up (which is a particularly egregious moment of bad quest design but that’s a rant for another time) in such a way that none of the 5 incarnations of that cutscene reveal anything new about the ancient sages as characters, to the point where none of them even show their faces. I care about Daruk because the game shows me that he cares deeply about the wellbeing of his fellow champions and brings out the best in others. So why should I care about the nameless, faceless sage of water? What’s there to move me about their struggles if my only interactions with the sages are a series of exposition dumps? If the game can’t give me a reason to sincerely care about its main characters, the whole rest of the story is meaningless.
(As an aside, I get the feeling someone on the dev team caught on to the issue I’m describing here, because the tea party memory sticks out like a sore thumb from the rest of the dragon tear cutscenes. It’s such a jarring change of pace to have the otherwise plot-heavy dragon’s tears come screeching to a halt for a scene where Sonia sits down with Zelda to have a cute little tea party and talk about absolutely nothing of significance that the whole thing almost seems like it was hastily tacked on to the story later. Given that the next (chronological) memory sees Sonia fall victim to an unceremonious death by chiropractor, it feels like someone realized that Sonia really doesn’t do or say much in the scenes before she dies and threw together the tea party scene so players would have at least one moment to look back on fondly when she’s fridged. But I digress)
The story told in the dragon’s tears is a highly linear one. But the open-ended nature of botw’s memory system remains, meaning that these tears can be found and viewed in any order. At first this doesn’t seem so bad, since the first two tears you’re likely to find if you follow the game’s intended path are also the chronological first and second of the memories you can discover through these geoglyph tears. But after those first two, the game kinda gives up on guiding you towards these tears in a way that flows well with the story they wrote: the closest tear geographically to the two the game initially guides you towards correlates to one of the penultimate scenes of that entire storyline, while the next scene chronologically is found almost halfway across the map. As such, it’s all but guaranteed that you’ll spoil yourself in some way without using either a guide or the (somewhat unintuitive and never fully explained by the game) little map in the forgotten temple. Finding memories in order didn’t matter so much in botw because the scenes you could find still worked well as standalone scenes before you discovered every memory and pieced together the full picture, and the game is never trying to surprise me about the characters’ fates at the end of this storyline: hell the first memory you’re guided to shows the calamity striking. But in contrast, viewing a dragon’s tear at the wrong time can completely ruin the story they’re trying to tell in those cutscenes. During my playthrough, for example, the first tear I found after the game stopped guiding me to them showed Ganondorf removing Sonia’s stone from her dead body. At this point I had known Sonia existed for all of like an hour, so every subsequent appearance she made was ruined for me by the fact that I already knew she was nothing but cannon fodder to be killed off for the sake of another character’s pain (Rauru and Zelda a-fucking-gain). I expected to be pissed that it was so easy to spoil myself, or maybe sad in passing that a character with her potential was so underutilized, but instead I just felt… tired. I wasn’t even halfway to the first settlement and already I was completely numb to the story the game was trying to tell.
But the worst was yet to come. And oh boy was it ever a low point for storytelling in the Zelda series. Remember how I said up above that the memories in botw had no connection to the story in the present? Let’s just say the same cannot be said for the dragon’s tears.
It’s May 2023. I’ve just finished the sage of wind questline. I still have hope that the story the game is trying to tell will be good. Deciding that I’ll go to Goron city next, I head towards the Thyplo skyview tower to expand my map, catch a glimpse of a nearby geoglyph from the air, and glide over to check it out. This geoglyph shows me a memory that not only recaps the entire dragon tear storyline, but also ends on a bit of foreshadowing about Zelda’s fate that’s about as subtle as a brick to the fucking face. By exploring -the thing the game claims it prioritized above all else in the design of its world and quests- I’d once again been hit with spoilers for a major story detail.
My main objective in this game is to find Zelda. It’s the only driving factor behind my journey towards all these different regions. The current big mystery I’m supposed to solve is why Zelda’s causing so much hell for the people of Hyrule. I now knew exactly where she was and what the deal with her appearances in other parts of Hyrule was, and I’d found it completely by accident by doing something the game says over and over again that it wants me to do. Unlike with Sonia’s death, this time I was a mess of emotions. I was pissed the fuck off that this open-world game had punished me twice already for trying to explore. More than that, I was disappointed that a game I had been so excited to play, from a series I had so many fond memories of, had let me down like this. With every subsequent quest where the sages and I chased a Zelda I knew was fake to our next objective, and every NPC wondering where she was that I couldn’t tell the truth to, that disappointment grew. The entire rest of the main story was ruined for me before I had progressed past 1/4th of the regional quests and a third of the dragon’s tears. There was no more sense of anticipation or mystery. I finished the rest of the game with a bitter taste in my mouth and haven’t touched it again since.
Do I think this story could have been good? Honestly, I don’t know, and by now I don’t really care either (that’s a lie. I care so so much and that’s probably why I hate totk as much as I do). But it’s all irrelevant, because like Cinderella’s stepsister cutting off her own heel so she can cram her foot into a glass slipper that’s never going to fit, totk is sabotaged by the devs’ insistence that everything fit itself into a world they custom-made for botw. This isn’t a new formula that the series is following, it’s Nintendo slapping a new coat of paint on an existing skeleton, and I’m not optimistic to see what this particular approach has in store for the Zelda series. Especially not at the price they’re charging for it.
#bluebird.txt#salt of the kingdom#totk critical#long post#totk salt#totk spoilers#apologies to my followers for the long-ass whatever this is#I do think about things that aren’t how much I hate this game I’m just in a mood lmao#negative#it’s fine if you disagree I just had to put my thoughts in words
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book 7 part 7 thoughts!
***THIS POST CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7, PART 7 OF THE MAIN STORY!!***
There are only 16 new chapters total in this update; with this, we are up to chapter 116 in book 7.
You should check out this livestream if you want a more part-by-part summarized translation of what's going on and/or if you want to hear the voices and watch the characters along with the commentary!
Please note: this is NOT meant to be a summary or a translation; these are only my initial thoughts on the events that unfold. There may be details overlooked or misunderstood in this post, so PLEASE do not use this as a translation.
As expected, we start off where we left off last update; Yuu, Grim, Silver, and Sebek have met up with the Shroud brothers. (Lilia is not with them.) According to Idia, they are still in a dream realm since Sebek is still in armor which he cannot bring back into reality. Ortho is present via a projection of some sort.
It's weird seeing Idia, Sebek, and Silver introducing themselves to one another in the main story and acting as though they've NEVER met before; they were all featured in Glorious Masquerade and interacted quite frequently. I'm aware that the main story and events don't share the same timeline, but it's still quite the jarring knowledge gap to witness.
ADFIHBADIYFBIOAFBEWQVUQOCAB SILVER AND SEBEK SUDDENLY CLOSE IN ON IDIA TO PROTECT HIM FROM SOMETHING THEY SENSE, HE CAN'T BREATHE... Waaaah, Idia... You're a princess squished between two pretty boy knights wwww
Idia and Ortho tell us that Malleus is expending a lot of energy to monitor Lilia in particular...? Ortho then goes on to explain that his "individuality" has become useful. Even though he cannot have a UM (okay, so confirmed that Ace is the last one to gain it shjdbahsdbasda), he is the only one capable of transferring his consciousness from one body to another. This is how he was able to reach out to Idia and the others!
Ortho tells them about his Cerberus Gear. We get a flashback of what he was up after getting suited up; he's flying over Sage's Island to collect information on Malleus's UM for STYX.
Thorns pierce through the clouds and Ortho battles them! STYX sends reinforcements (not personnel, but like technology/cannons?) to help Ortho. The thorns form a short of shield over Sage's Island, so he breaks through via a weak point. asdbhbaisdbals It's so unsettling to see the port looking so dark and depressing...
Ortho's mom reminds him he can only stay in there safely for 20 minutes. Aw, she cares so much about Or-kun 😭
It's going to take over several minutes (I think 17) just to analyze the complex nature of Malleus's magic and save it. While the analysis anchor does its job, Ortho has to protect it!
OH SHIT IT'S OB MALLEUS
ebfyvoFoaHhahaahahaHHhahaahah ORTHOS STARTS TALKING ABOUT A BUNCH OF TECH STUFF LIKE WIRELESS TO EXPLAIN TO MALLEUS HOW HE CHANGED BODIES, Malleus surprisingly understands???? I half expected him to combust on the spot from confusion... DBHLBSYOFOFYAAFIAFIL MALLEUS IS BEING DUNKED ON BY A CHILD, Ortho says that since magic is powered by imagination, Malleus cannot block Ortho's advances or force his new body under sleep since Malleus does not understand tech.
I can't believe him being shit with tech is actually relevant to the plot 💀
AEFHLBFBYFOVYFEQRUROQ OB MALLEUS PROCEEDS TO RESPOND WITH VIOLENCE, HE'S GOING TO DESTROY THE ANALYTICAL ANCHOR SO ORTHO DECIDES TO FIGHT BACK
RIP Or-kun, he could only resist for so long... his attacks have no effect in this domain where Malleus has complete control.
JUST 30 SECONDS BEFORE THE ANALYSIS ENDS, QUICK ORTHO STALL HIM BY SHIT TALKING MORE!!! I KNOW CHILDREN CAN BE SAVAGE, SO UNLEASH YOUR WRATH
HFBFYOAEOFYEEIAFL MALLEUS.?>??? ?? ? ?? ???? HE IMPLIED HE'S GOING TO KILL OFF ORTHO AND THEN GOES OFF (?) ON ONE OF HIS DOGGIE DRONES...
"Good night, little Shroud." You have to hear it for yourself, it sounds very ominous 💀 He really said he ain't above child murder, eh?
??? For a second Malleus froze and his shot missed? So Ortho decides on a strategic retreat with the second dog drone. NO MALLEUS ENDED 02 TOO, IT TOOK A BLOW FOR ORTHO WHILE HE RETRIEVES THE ANCHOR
We cut back to STYX, which is dedicating its resources to creating an opening in Malleus's barrier for Ortho to escape. He clears the barrier!!
Aaaaaaah, another cute moment for Shroud Mama! She and Shroud Papa collapse onto the floor in relief. He has sustained some damage, but his core is intact!
One line I really like from Malleus is him referring to Ortho and others as "uninvited guests" that he's going to chase off no matter what.
NOOOOO THEY CONFIRMED BOTH DOGGIE DRONES GOT MCMURDERED IN THERE OTL Never forgiving Malleus for this, fr (Shroud Mama says she can fix them though so we're all good!)
They tell Ortho "welcome back" and Ortho says "I'm back" 😭 AND THEY GROUP HUG
RUH-ROH
Shroud Papa says that Malleus's UM... reminds him of Grim's magic... WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN
STYX has support from Briar Valley, which should help with their analysis. However, the results so far are not looking good. According to Shroud Papa, the barrier is 99% impossible to destroy unless either Malleus dies OR Malleus chooses to lower the barrier himself.
It's not plausible for Mama to make enough Cerberus Gears for a whole army. Besides, if they they destroy the barrier, Shroud Mama theorizes that they may also accidentally destroy the consciousnesses of everyone on Sage's Island... so that's definitely not an option!
FJLDADBIAFSVYOFFEQFA ORTHOS UGGESTED TELLING MALLEUS "Your grandma is so sad" FROM OUTSIDE THE BARRIER TO CONVINCE HIM TO LOWER THE SHIELD........ . . . ....... . . .. .... .. . . . . .. . . ... . . LIKE IN THE OLD MOVIES
They're now looking into Idia's dream on a monitor? Ortho notices Idia's dorm room does not have Ortho's mainenance dock, so... um, he realizes that Idia must be dreaming about an alternate world where his little brother never passed.
Shroud Mama is going to try and "hack" into the dream spaces. AJAFSVOSvfvfefea SHE HAS A CUTE LITTLE GREMLIN GIGGLE??? She's very fired up because Malleus insulted mankind's best technology, saying it cannot stand up to his magic. (aslbhflasbifabfd THIS IS WHERE IDIA GETS IT FROM????????)
"It's rare to see Idia so happy." LDBHbiadib THIS BOY IS MAD DEPRESSED, LET HIM BE
"Isn't it time that everyone got tired of the dream world and want to return to reality?" No, Shroud Mama. I guarantee you that most TWST fans WANT to stay in Twisted Wonderland and don't want new content to stop coming out, this is our escapism :)
WAAAAAH ORTHO HE'S REPEATING THE LINE VIL TOLD HIM, THEY HAVE TO TRY BECAUSE NOT TRYING IS ALWAYS 0% BUT 0.001% HAS THE POSSIBILITY TO BECOME 100%
Shroud Papa warns Ortho that Idia may reject reality, and therefore "this" Ortho. He's concerned that this will put Ortho through a lot of emotional stress. Shroud Papa wants professionals (psychologists) to try and contact Idia instead of Ortho.
ADFILBAFIYAEGIYQEFBIAF ORTHO HAS SO MUCH FAITH IN HIS OLDER BROTHER, he says Idia would get hype about a cute robot boy trying to get in contact with him, this means he'll become a protagonist like in his light novels!
DNBHdsvyofwFTOwqihbyow8fS WE'RE GOING TO IDIA'S DREAM NOW, he pulled like 3 SSRs of his favorite character (of course he'd dream this, OF COURSE).
Video chat notif from Ortho???
OMG IT'S ROBOT ORTHO AND IDIA FREAKS OUT THINKING IT'S COSPLAY
Ortho reintroduces himself. "It's nice to meet you for the first time in 'this' world!" Idia starts to laugh and assumes it's Ortho's avatar for virtual chat, that kind of thing. Or maybe Ortho is talking about the plot of a new anime?
ILBFIBYADBFADBEFQFIPo; IDIA REPEATS THE EXACT LINES ORTHO SAID HE WOULD SAY, THAT HE'S THE CHOSEN ONE BEING CONTACTED BY A CUTE ROBOT BOY
Here's the breakdown... Idia gets a headache and finally realizes the truth. afhbBIfieeq;ofBHQEF;????? ?the DREMA ORTHO IS CALLING HIMAND TEELLING HIM THE REAL ORTHO IS A FAKE, DON'T LISTEN TO HIM (this is THE definition of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss).
DREAM!ORTHO TRIES TO PULL IDIA DEEPER INTO THE DREAM, TELLING HIM HE'S JUST SLEEPY FROM GAMING TOO MUCH SO GO BACK TO SLEEP
Oooh, interesting that RSA!Ortho still appears to be similar in body type to Robo!Ortho? I always assumed Ortho was small because Idia kept him "preserved" in the moment of death. Maybe the dream Ortho is just modelled after Robo!Ortho since that's what Idia's memories are familiar with.
Idia loops back around again to the start of his dream, where he is in ceremonial robes and Malleus approaches him. HERE COMES MALLEUS TO GASLIGHT HIS CLASSMATES AGAIN
adhfgyoafdodp THERE'S A LIGHT FROM THE SKY???? TSUMTSUMS???????? GOD?????? AND ANIME ON IDIA'S SIDE?????? OMG, here comes Ortho in his Cerberus Gear come to save the day! Idia recognizes STYX's emblem.
UH-OH, MALLEUSIS PISSED THAT ORTHO SURPRISED HIM TWICE"Stand down, you fools." MALEFICENT ENERGY IS OFF THE CHARTS
Idia recognizes Malleus as being in Overblot adhbafliafa AND THE SKY STARTS CRACKING because Ortho is not meant to exist in this dream. He basically goes against the canon www
Malleus teleports away (yeah, FUCK IDIA I guess) and leaves them to be swallowed by the abyss. Idia's being pulled into the darkness, and their mom's voice comes in warning Ortho to stay away before more damage occurs. Idia recognizes his mom's voice and remembers even more!!
Aw, Ortho promises to save his brother...
Idia is at the gates to the Underworld again? Phantom Ortho says Idia fell there and speaks to him kind of in a friendly manner. "It's too early for a reunion."
asfkjlnsUPBUADGPAGB IDIA IS SO CONFUSED, HE'S WONDERING WHY A PHANTOM IS CALLING HIM BIG BRO, HE STILL BELIEVES THAT HIS BROTHER GOES TO RSA AND THAT THIS IS A NIGHTMARE Idia is sooooo in denial...
Phantom Ortho reassures Idia that his death is not his fault, so please stop blaming himself... that Idia promised he would live without looking back, so he should look at the truth.
WHOOOOO HE REMEMBERS BOOK 6 FELLAS
AYO WE GOT IDIA CRYING AND IT'S ANIMATED, WE SEE THE TEARS ROLLING DOWN HIS CHEEKS, WE WINNIN'
"I'm always being saved by my little brothers (YES PLURAL, WEH), I'm such a pathetic big brother."
Ah, so now Phantom Ortho calls himself "King of the Underworld" says Idia cannot leave since it's not a good example for the rest of the phantoms. It's going to be the boss!
OOOOOH IDIA'S HAIR GOES FULL DIFFERENT COLOR + new facial expression (we previously only saw the hair change color in his Dorm Uniform Groovy and his Suitor Suit Groovy).
IDIA CALLS HIS FAMILY CURSE A BLESSING, he gets more power in areas with lots of blot since there is more fuel for him to burn. HASDIYASODBASID IDIA OBS TO FIGHT PHANTOM ORTHO??????? IS THIS A PREVIEW FOR OVERBLOT CARDS OR SOMETHING
They have the same battle lines about how they will be "free"...
IDIA'S CRINGE ERA RETURNSSSSSSSS (he's making those cringe sound effects of blowing things up) and claims the title of "King of the Underworld" (the same title given to players who own 10 cards of a particular character).
afhbabilfbialfi IDIA LAUGHS SO HARD HE CHOKES
He finally uses his UM to open the gates and escape, telling Phantom!Ortho he cannot stay there. PHANTOM!ORTHO LOVINGLY WISHES HIS BROTHER SAFE TRAVELS, AW "The whole universe is waiting for you."
Idia tries to wake up and hears Dream!Ortho's voice??? BUT IDIA IS FULLY AWAKE NOW, HE KNOWS IT'S SUCH A DREAM He has finally accepted Ortho's death AND calls both the robot brother and the dead brother as his "brotherS"
Idia points out all the discrepancies in the dream... adfbilasdibalbiaflb I LOVE HOW EVERYONE KEEPS CALLING RSA A "SHINY" SCHOOL, Idia's all like, "No WAY is my little brother going to a school like that!"
THE DREAM ORTHO PANICS AND BEGS IDIA TO LISTEN TO HIM BADSBILADIAIDVFADIL IDIA TELLS THE DREAM ORTHO "Sorry, I don't like anyone other than anime/game characters calling me onii-chan!" IBRO, YOU'RE OUTTING YOURSELF LIEK THIS????????? ? ????? ????
He plots revenge on the person that would dare show him this disgusting dream, he's ready to FILE A COMPLAINT to them! (Watch out, Draconia, this otaku is coming for YOUR ASS) sayusdbyosfvayf What's with Malleus pissing off big bros with dead little bros...
Idia finally reunites in his dream with Robo!Ortho and apologizes for the hurtful things he said... Ortho talks about the adventures he has been on + explains what has been going on. Basically, they reconcile without a problem!
After all the summary, Idia first comments on how shocked he is that their mom hacked into his computer 🤡 Yeah, Idia... she saw everything... Ortho tells him it's okay, she didn't comment! BUT THAT MAKES IDIA EVEN MORE UPSET, "it's the worst thing for a male high school student!" It just might make him Overblot a THIRD time www
I can't believe THIS of all things is what makes Idia seek revenge on Malleus... (HE SAYS HE WANTS MALLEUS TO CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS)
Idia is really out here about to doxx Malleus huh 💀
I honestly was not expecting to cry this update (since I was thinking it would just be a flashback about how Ortho "woke up" Idia) but NOPE, I just guess every update now is going to elicit tears... I've always been highly invested in the Shroud brothers' storyline, so I'm really happy they touched on it again here and enhanced it by giving us more Shroud Mama and Papa, as well as Phantom!Ortho. It was sweet to see Idia recognize Phantom!Ortho as his brother too instead of completely renouncing him or "replacing" him with Robo!Ortho. ihbdiladqeofqbeafnasi The updates are making me like Idia more, but in the same way you'd like a character for being pathetic... Man made SO many dog chew toy nosies this time 😭
I did not expect Malleus to be so... pro-child murder/j He will stop at nothing to keep everyone under his thumb, and that's so awful. There was so much gaslighting in this part as well, even if Malleus is not directly doing it himself. The fact that his magic can just... do that on its own is... It sort of gives me the vibes of trying to enforce a toxic kind of positivity on everyone, which in of itself has its roots in his own insecurities and inability to cope with loss. He's projecting that onto everyone else, and that has very scary results as we see here.
There were a lot of memes pre-book 7 about how Malleus's inability to understand technology would come to bite him in the ass later, and all of those fans can now feel vindicated because WELL, IT CAME TRUE.
And last, but not least, I'm shocked at Idia's reason for wanting to fistfight Malleus 🤡 BRO'S MAD FR FR... WHAT MUST HIS MOM HAVE SEEN ON HIS COMPUTER TO MAKE HIM SO AGGRO... WAS IT LEWDS OR SOMETHING???????? ?? ? ??? ?????? ?? Glad that Idia is on our side now, this is an excellent place to leave off on for next time!!
#twisted wonderland#twst#Malleus Draconia#Idia Shroud#Diasomnia#Ortho Shroud#Yuu#Sebek Zigvolt#Lilia Vanrouge#Silver#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#notes from the writing raven#Ignihyde#Maleficia Draconia#Maleficent#Grim#book 7 part 7 spoilers
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So like, I'm pretty darn sure Mo Xuanyu did not actually make a pass at Jin Guangyao.
For several reasons, like for one thing hitting on your own actual brother who is also your boss is genuinely insane behavior, in a way nothing else we know about the guy actually matches, other than his reputation for being crazy which mostly seems to originate from the same point as the sexual harassment allegations. which tracks because even with rampant societal homophobia, that's such a crazy thing to do people would question it if it didn't come paired with the information that he's insane.
Then there's the fact that if that had actually happened, there's basically no way master spin artist jgy would have let it get out, because actually experiencing that would trigger his sense-of-uncleanliness issues so hard.
But what we see is that somehow Everyone Knows that it happened, but also that Jin Guangyao totally didn't tell anyone, because he's too merciful and kind and respectable. It just mysteriously leaked somehow that this private scandal happened.
(Also, to step up a meta level, the gay goth kid who was never quite accepted into his own family and wound up self-destructing was in fact guilty of the homophobic allegations spread by the powerful man who manipulates reputation for personal advantage? This is not the kind of story where that would be true. The thematic dissonance is too much.)
The only way it's believable that mxy made a move on jgy is if jgy spent a long time maneuvering him into it, hinting and deniably flirting and just generally being maximum skeeze, just a huge elaborate incestuous honeypot, just to bait a 'ruined reputation' trap. Which makes no sense at all.
I don't think jgy is necessarily above that kind of creepy grooming behavior but I do think he would hate it, and definitely wouldn't resort to it when sowing rumors would work just as well. and expose him to less risk.
So Mo Xuanyu didn't do it.
So what we've got is that Jin Guangyao systematically obliterated this kid's credibility.
No one would listen to anything he said after being expelled in that sort of context, especially anything against Jin Guangyao, whom he now has obvious motive to smear. This was a preemptive strike against some kind of leak.
It's exactly the kind of thing jgy would do--it targets individual vulnerability, leverages the weak points in Mo Xuanyu's reputation into gaping chasms, in a way that associates jgy with scandal but makes him personally look better. also shows signs of jgy projecting his own issues onto others. The MO fits.
And his motive is easy to construct: Mo Xuanyu had had access to his secrets, such as Wei Wuxian's manuscripts and probably a lot of the other ugly shit. And Jin Guangyao needed him silenced, due to some thing or other, but as with SiSi didn't want to have to kill him.
(A fascinating thing about jgy as a villain is the moments where he yields to sentiment pretty consistently contribute to his destruction.)
But then we come around to: so why didn't Mo Xuanyu sic Wei Wuxian on Jin Guangyao, then?
In cql wwx does have a curse cut for jgy, to keep him in the plot and create an additional open storyline to resolve, since viewers are gonna be denied romantic catharsis, but in cql the homophobia plotline isn't there because all the gay is censored, and mxy allegedly hit on qin su instead. which is less utterly unhinged to do though still big wtf.
In the book, mxy summoned the Yiling Patriarch just to kill the Mos. (Which he didn't even do lmao.)
So I've always been sort of poking at that, like if you're destroying your own soul to get revenge, why spare the person who deliberately ruined your life?
Even if he had done the thing, it was weird! Maybe even weirder; if you're in a headspace where making sexual advances anyone should be able to predict are unwelcome seems like a good idea in the first place, there's a pretty good chance getting punished for them isn't going to make you think you were in the wrong. Otoh there is a zone where he could have done it, gotten the backlash, cleared his head a bit, realized it was fucked up to do, and therefore not held a grudge in that particular direction, but it's still weird. (And also he definitely didn't do the thing.)
But if he was so angry, why was he not angry at Jin Guangyao? Who definitely kicked him out of the Sect, all else aside?
And then I looked at the passage in Jin sect where we swap to Jin Ling's pov and he tells us one of the few first-hand things we hear about Mo Xuanyu: He thought Jin Guangyao was the most amazing person in the whole world. He adored him.
And being betrayed and rejected by him didn't turn that into resentment. Even though he resented the other side of his family enough to want them gratuitously murdered.
So you know what I think happened?
I think Mo Xuanyu thinks it was an honest misunderstanding. That Jin Guangyao, his idol, falsely concluded that his gay little brother was creeping on him based on a misinterpretation of his admiring behavior, and was appropriately revolted. And that Mo Xuanyu doesn't blame him for it. He blames himself.
He went back to his mother's family to rot genuinely feeling like the ruination of his life was his own fault for being creepy. And died like that.
Because of that, to a considerable extent. How can you bend any of your will to saving yourself, to getting out of an abusive situation and seeking a better one, when you don't think you deserve to be saved?
Fucks me up.
#hoc est meum#mdzs#mo xuanyu#meta#internalized homophobia#homophobia#suicide#abuse#gaslighting#the untamed#cql
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In Praise of Random Encounters
I'm in my "responding to frequently asked Reddit r/rpg questions" phase, so please allow me to defend the random encounter. This post is in response to everyone who goes, "Why do people use random encounters? They interrupt the flow of the story, and it doesn't make any sense to have something randomly show up and fight."
Did you know there was a Pokemon named after me?
In this post, I will argue against these strawmen, make a case for random encounters in certain games, and describe my favorite random encounter situations from my own games.
This disputation against random encounters can be broken up into three parts:
they interrupt what is already going on ("the story")
they are illogical
they're automatically a fight
I'm going to address these last to first.
Random encounters shouldn't jump right into fights. If used as intended, they come with an encounter distance, meaning sometimes you just see signs of the encounter, or you spot them from far away. And they should also come with what used to be called a reaction roll, which dictates how the encounter feels about the PCs. These were rolled on 2d6, which meant there was a bell curve that favored results in the 6-8 range, which were usually something like "wary" or "neutral."
Second, the logic of random encounters. If you're using them right, random encounters should make sense. They should only have a chance of happening in places where the encounters could be, and encounter tables ought to be chosen based on location. So you won't get a dire trout in a desert or whatever.
This last bit is the hardest one. If it feels like a random encounter would disrupt "your story," you're probably running a game whose underlying philosophies are opposed to random encounters, yes. It's probably also opposed to many other frameworks that were present in traditional/old-school rule sets. If your game has a pre-planned story or plot, if that plot requires a certain pace or order, and if the injection of outside elements would disrupt that plot, you probably shouldn't use random encounters.
(You also shouldn't use D&D or its cousins. You might also not want to have other players, since they can disrupt those plots. But that's just me being petty.)
A page of random encounter rules from Advanced Dungeons & Dragons. This is a shitty example. I promise it's easier than this.
So when SHOULD you use random encounters? Use them if the game you're running is attempting to simulate a world that has its own logic and background that is not dependent on the player characters. Random encounters help show that the world is in motion at all times and that people and creatures move about of their own volition. They don't show up when it's meaningful to the plot or the other characters; they wander. They're random.
Another key component of this style of gaming is that they usually consider story as something that emerges from or comes after play. "Remember how we tried to cross the raging river full of electric eels, and you dropped your sword, and I almost died, but we made it across? That was awesome." These things didn't happen because they were important plot points predicted by the DM; they are the results of rolls at the table, rolls that are honored in their immediacy and only made sense of after the fact. Does this mean that you risk having a disjointed mess from which no pleasing story can emerge? Yes! But you also risk having a story emerge that no one could have planned, that is equally surprising and pleasing to everyone at the table.
This emergent storytelling is probably the greatest joy of the random encounter. Don't approach the encounter with, "It doesn't make sense that a goblin would be here." Instead, adopt the attitude of, "Let's figure out why this gobllin would be here." (And while you're at it, use that same attitude toward books you read and movies you see.)
A related aside: in some play cultures, the DM is considered to be someone who plans everything out and slowly reveals bits of story as rewards to the other players. As a DM, this can feel really stagnant, and it can be a lot to keep track of, and there is far less joy of surprise. Using dice at the table to introduce new elements can bring some of that fun back to the DM.
Everything I've said so far is a synthesis of dozens of rulebooks and blog posts I've read across a decade of running games, so please allow me to introduce a final element: my own experience with the joy of random tables.
In 2014, when 5E was coming out to great demand on the backs of Stranger Things, Critical Roll, and The Adventure Zone, I started running a campaign for friends and coworkers. There was no developed play culture around 5E at the time, no cottage industry of third-party developers. So in running it, I was drawing on what I had been reading for years: old-school roleplaying and story games.
So I prepped my starting town (doing way more work that I would today), including random encounter tables for the area. And when the players were out searching for some ruins and getting lost west of town, I rolled a random encounter. It was some gnomes. All the gnomes here had escaped from a gnome hell for greed, so they weren't exactly kind. And their reaction roll was just south of neutral, so they were a little surly.
A bad screenshot of my "west of the town of Wall" encounter tables.
They led the players to the ruins and waited, trying to trap them inside after they'd been run down by the undead inside. But the players overcame the trap and told the gnomes off. (They didn't want to get in another fight after going through the ruins; more emergent storytelling.) So the gnomes ran off, but they would remember this.
Flash forward to a different session. In the main mega-dungeon under the town, the players were exploring a new area. Another random encounter: the devil of gnome hell! It was a giant mole with masses of earthworms for limbs, and it was searching for its escaped prisoners. It threatened to kill the PCs unless they gave it a magical item. So Pepper the elf gave up his winged sword, which he'd found in the aforementioned ruins. He loved that sword.
And here's where it all comes together. The gnomes were trying to settle the land west of town, but the humans had a fort there. The players were going to that fort to get some information about the faerie realms. How could I show this situation in a way that would, as succinctly as possible, illustrate the tension while giving the players a choice on who to join? Well, the gnomes would be attacking the fort. This normally wouldn't be much of a battle…but the vengeful gnome from the ruins had made a deal with the gnome devil for power. And now he was wielding Pepper's sword, using it to fly over the fort walls and attack.
Pepper was pissed! He wanted his sword back! The other players were more interested in figuring out a way to stop the ongoing conflict between gnomes and humans. And the gnomes were split between wanting to peacefully settle their new land and get revenge on the players for driving them off from the ruins. Who would prevail?
I hadn't planned a story, but I had created a situation a story was likely to emerge based on the players' actions and the results of the dice.
Conclusion
This isn't me saying this is the only way to play. It's not the only way I play. In a short one-shot or a tightly paced, emotional game, I would never use random encounters. But they can be fun! And they (and their associated suite of rules) can address some of the issues that lead to DM burnout and genre predictability.
If you find me in the wilderness, I will fight you.
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y'know, it's funny, from replaying pokemon scarlet / violet basegame, i'm pretty sure if you're not internet poisoned, then one of the most memorable things about nemona could be that she only battles you half or less of the times that she checks in to help you because she wants it to be perfect and fair for you and really doesn't want to annoy you, to the point it almost seems like she's making excuses NOT to battle you, not that she's a wild dog that's stalking you and will not leave you alone. one of her earliest character establishing moments is looking directly into the camera with puppy dog eyes and apologizing profusely for wanting a rematch because she had fun
she's in the gyms because she's also doing the gyms! she gets really embarrassed that it looks like she's following you around and decides not to battle you to prove she's not! if she is, she's probably following you because geeta asked her to, and clavell literally said she should take you under her wing! she usually gives you advance warning that she's going to be taking you on soon!
in particular, once you're out of the tutorial she talks to and helps you without battling you for the first three badges of her own questline
it's always, like, clavell and geeta being like 'smh get a load of this girl, she needs to back off, who does she think she is, gary oak?' with their body language. the "oops, nemona didn't realize that cutscene didn't heal you" thing the game keeps doing feels kinda forced.
maybe it's just pokemon writing being what it is (i really don't know why they act like she'd use her champion team against your starter, she just picked a starter, what are you talking about. make her look overeager in a way that makes sense with her character or anyone over the age of 5 please) but the way nemona actually is not matching the way everyone talks about her seems to be a thing in universe and out, and i want to remember this rather than fall into a telephone game of what the plot actually was
if anything, I wish she was less afraid to annoy the player, and more present in the game! y'know, appearing in the sidelines during gym battles with the rest of the crowd rather than the text simply saying she was, for example
idk, I wonder if things would be different if the most vocal pokemon "fans" didn't hate characters interacting with them. maybe I want a brock and misty with me the whole game. maybe biri biri and after the rain are the experience I want
acting like the character who puts our enjoyment above her own and is afraid to annoy us still annoyed us is how we get a DLC that never mentions her or the other main characters of the story in 9 months of promotional materials and, maybe someday, a gen 10 with no friends at all.
#pokemon sv#nemona#pokemon#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon scarvio#nemona pokemon#nemonaposting#sorry for editing this ten times while it got its first reblog
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Descriptive writing hacks, anyone?
Hey writing humans? Can you all do me a huge favour?
Reblog this with your best DESCRIPTIVE WRITING tips, opinions, resources, and examples.
Please don't put anything related to character creation or plot development (unless its also about descriptive writing ofc). There are soooo many good resources for those. I want to give some love to descriptive writing because I think as writers we forget about this part sometimes.
I'll go first. Here's what I've got so far:
For resources, some of my favourites are Shaelin Writes and Reedsy on Youtube (she also has a blog), Hello Future Me on YouTube, and Hey Writers and Writing Questions Answered here on Tumblr.
As for tips, here we go:
General tips for description:
Give everything a face / the bigger the concept the smaller you write / focus on the little details
A description should serve multiple functions (mood, tone, atmosphere, foreshadowing, symbolism, characterization, theme, worldbuilding, hinting at backstory, advancing the plot etc.) / word choice matters; two words can mean the same thing but evoke different feelings or subtext
Weave description into action, dialogue, dialogue tags, and characters' thoughts
Describe only what the POV character knows, describe what they think of it (the later also applies to omniscient narrators)
Use the five senses
Be specific / Use precise language where it matters; you can still be vague about unimportant details like eye colour (unless eye colour is actually important to your story of course)
If a scene isn't working change the weather / use atmosphere to create contrast or call attention to the setting and the events of the scene.
Describe facial expressions, body language, how a character walks or carries themselves, important accessories they wear
Create a sense of place / describe where things are in relation to the characters (objects in the room, named roads or mountains, other characters, the ocean if they are by the sea, the direction of the wind, etc.)
Show time passing (shadows, position of the sun, wind changing, colour of the sky, bells ringing etc.)
General tips for stronger prose (not just description):
Use sentence length intentionally. Long sentences are slower to read, short sentences are quick; conversely, long sentences build tension, short sentences release it. Long sentences invoke a more formal, archaic tone while shorter sentences seem modern.
Use -ing verbs sparingly
Avoid vague words like some, really, and thing
Use "to be" verbs ("was" and "is") sparingly
Cut weasel words like basically, seems, sort of, like, and suddenly
Don't state the obvious. For example, the red apple, he held the apple in his hand, the tree stood at the end of the driveway beside the road, she stood up.
Cut filter words like saw, knew, realized, felt
Use active voice / Follow the "By Zombies" Rule
Hope this helps someone, and thanks guys!!
#writing advice#writing tips#i swore i was going to stay away from writing advice tumblr this time around
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Tips for Writing a Scene
Whether you’ve been writing for a long time or want to start, everyone begins in the same place—with a scene.
Not an entire chapter.
A scene.
Here’s how you can make it happen on the page.
Step 1: Have Characters In Mind
Scenes can’t happen without characters. Sometimes you might have a place in mind for a scene, but no characters. Sometimes, it’s the opposite.
Pick at least two characters if you’ll have external conflict (more on that in step 4). One character can carry a scene with internal conflict, but things still have to happen around them to influence their thoughts/emotions.
Step 2: Give Them Goals
Short stories combine mini scenes into one plot with a beginning/middle/end. Longform manuscripts combine chapters to do the same thing, but with more detail and subplots.
You don’t need to know which form you’re writing to get started.
All you need are goals.
What should your scene do? What does your character(s) want? It will either use the moment to advance the plot or present a problem that the character solves in the same scene/short story.
Step 3: Include the Senses
If you’re recounting an experience to someone, you don’t say, “I had the worst day. My shoes got wet and I couldn’t get home for 10 hours.”
You’d probably say, “I had the worst day. I stepped in a puddle so my shoes got soaked, which made my socks and feet wet all day. Then I had to wait 10 hours to get home. It was miserable! And now my feet smell terrible.”
Okay, you might not use all of those descriptors, but you get the picture. The story is much more engaging if you’re talking about the feeling of wet socks, soaked shoes, and the smell of stinky feet. The other person in your conversation would probably go ugh, that’s horrible!
Your scene should accomplish the same thing. Use the five senses to make the moment real for the reader.
As a reminder, those senses are: touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing.
You don’t need to use all of them at once, but include at least two of them to make your stories shine. You also don’t have to constantly use environmental or sensory descriptors. Once you establish the scene for your reader, they’ll place your characters and want to keep the plot moving.
Step 4: Identify the Conflict
Speaking of plot, scenes and stories can’t move forward without conflict. There are two types:
Internal conflict: happens within a single character (may or may not affect their decisions at any given time; it can also be the reasoning for their goals and dreams)
External conflict: happens outside of a character or between two characters (may or may not have to do with their internal conflict or personal goals; it always advances their character growth, relationship development, or plot development)
A scene could touch on either of these types of conflict or both! It depends on your story/plot/what you want your scene to accomplish.
Step 5: Pick a Point of View (POV)
Sometimes you’ll know you want to write a specific POV because you’ll have a character/plot in mind that requires it. Other times, you might not know.
It’s often easier to pick a POV after thinking through the previous steps. You’ll better understand how much time you want to spend in a character’s head (1st Person) or if you want to touch on multiple characters’ minds through 3rd Person.
Example of Setting a Scene
Step 1, Have Characters in Mind: Two sisters arrive back home from their first fall semester in different colleges.
Step 2, Give Them Goals: Sister A wants to ask for dating advice, but the sisters have never been that close. Sister B knows that Sister A wants a deeper conversation, but is doing anything to avoid it.
Step 3, Include the Senses: They’re in a living room with shag navy carpet and the worn leather couches have butt-shaped shadows on the cushions. The house smells of vanilla bean, the only scent their dads can agree on. Christmas lights hang on a fake tree that sheds plastic fir leaves on the floor. Their family cat purrs from within the metal branches.
Step 4, Identify the Conflict: Sister B will do anything to avoid talking about feelings. That includes trying to get the cat out of the tree (shaking the branches and reaching into them doesn’t work), checking to make sure the windows are closed against the winter air, and faking an obviously unreal phone call. This makes Sister A go from passively hoping for advice to chasing her through the house.
Step 5, Pick a POV: 3rd Person, so internal thoughts and feelings from both sisters are obvious to the reader and emphasize the scene’s comedy.
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These are also useful ways to rethink a scene you’ve already written. If something about it doesn’t seem to be working, consider if it’s missing one or more of these points. You don’t need to include all of them all the time, but weaving more sensory details or conflict into a short story/chapter could solve your problem.
Best of luck with your writing, as always 💛
#writing#writing a scene#writeblr#writing advice#writing tips#writing community#writers of tumblr#creative writing#writing inspiration#writing help
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The Dos and Don'ts of Writing Flashbacks in Fiction
In the realm of storytelling, flashbacks serve as powerful tools that allow authors to delve into their characters' pasts and enrich their narratives. However, crafting effective flashbacks requires finesse and precision. In this blog post, I will explore the dos and don'ts of writing flashbacks in fiction.
Understanding the Purpose of Flashbacks
Flashbacks play a crucial role in fiction writing, offering various benefits that can elevate your storytelling to new heights. Let's examine the primary purposes of incorporating flashbacks into your narrative:
A. Emphasizing Character Development
By utilizing flashbacks to unveil a character's past experiences, traumas, or significant events, you can offer readers deeper insights into their motivations and actions in the present. This creates multidimensional characters, making them more relatable and compelling to your audience.
Example:
In J.K. Rowling's "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," the flashbacks showcasing Severus Snape's troubled childhood and his complex relationship with James Potter help readers understand his motivations and the complexities of his character.
B. Building Emotional Depth
Well-crafted flashbacks have the power to evoke strong emotions in readers. When you transport them to a pivotal moment in a character's past, you intensify their connection to the character's journey and the overall storyline.
C. Advancing the Plot
Flashbacks can serve as valuable tools to reveal crucial information that propels the main plot forward. They can provide context, clarify mysteries, and offer insights that impact the present-day events in your story.
Example:
In Gillian Flynn's "Gone Girl," the well-timed flashbacks provide readers with essential information about the characters' pasts, which ultimately shapes the unfolding events and twists in the narrative.
Understanding the underlying purposes of flashbacks allows you to harness their potential effectively. Before incorporating a flashback into your writing, consider how it contributes to character development, emotional depth, or plot advancement.
Dos for Writing Flashbacks
Now that I’ve covered the significance of flashbacks in fiction, let's explore the essential dos to ensure your flashbacks are compelling, seamless, and effective:
Seamlessness and Clarity
One of the key factors to keep in mind when writing flashbacks is to ensure they are seamlessly integrated into your narrative. Avoid abrupt transitions that can confuse readers. Instead, provide clear cues or signals to indicate that a flashback is beginning.
Utilize phrases like "In the past," "Years ago," or "I remember when" to smoothly introduce the flashback. Another tip is to employ italics or a change in font style for the flashback section to set it apart from the present-day narrative.
Relevance and Significance
Every flashback should have a purpose that contributes to the overall story. Avoid incorporating flashbacks solely for the sake of backstory or exposition. Each flashback should offer valuable insights into the characters, their relationships, or the plot.
If your protagonist is struggling with trust issues, a flashback depicting a past betrayal or a moment of broken trust can add depth to their present-day challenges.
Engaging Descriptions
To immerse readers in the flashback scene, use descriptive language that brings the past to life. Engage the senses to paint a vivid picture of the setting, characters, and emotions.
Instead of stating, "She was scared during the incident," show the fear through actions and sensations: "Her heart pounded against her chest, and her hands trembled as she clutched the edge of the table."
Limitation and Balance
While flashbacks can enhance your story, overusing them can disrupt the narrative flow. Limit the number of flashbacks and their length, ensuring they complement the main storyline without overshadowing it.
If your novel spans several years, consider using only a few carefully chosen flashbacks to highlight the most impactful moments in your character's past.
By adhering to these dos, you can create seamless and impactful flashbacks that add depth to your characters and enrich your narrative.
Don'ts for Writing Flashbacks
As with any writing technique, there are pitfalls to avoid when incorporating flashbacks into your fiction. Steering clear of these common mistakes will help ensure that your flashbacks enhance your story rather than hinder it:
Avoid Info Dumps:
While flashbacks are an excellent tool to provide backstory, be cautious not to overwhelm your readers with lengthy info dumps. Instead, sprinkle relevant information throughout the narrative to maintain a steady flow.
For example, rather than presenting all the details of a character's childhood in one extended flashback, reveal crucial information gradually through dialogue, memories, or short flashback snippets.
Steer Clear of Randomness
Ensure that each flashback is purposeful and directly contributes to the understanding of your characters or the plot. Avoid including flashbacks that feel disconnected or irrelevant to the central storyline.
For example, if your story revolves around a murder mystery, avoid incorporating flashbacks that focus on unrelated events unless they have a direct impact on the mystery's resolution. A flashback scene about a suspect’s childhood friendship with the victim might seem relevant, however, unless this flashback reveals a new dynamic outside of what is already established it might not be important.
Mind the Chronological Order
It is essential to maintain a clear and coherent timeline when using flashbacks. Confusing readers with inconsistent chronology can disrupt the flow of your story and lead to misunderstandings.
For example If a character's flashback reveals a traumatic event, ensure that it aligns with the character's age and the sequence of events in the present-day narrative.
Minimize Flashback Within Flashback
While flashbacks can be a valuable tool, nesting multiple layers of flashbacks within each other can become confusing and disorienting for readers. Limit the use of "flashback within flashback" techniques.
Instead of presenting a character's memory within a flashback itself, narrate the original flashback and then transition back to the present.
By avoiding these pitfalls, you can ensure that your flashbacks remain engaging and seamless, enhancing your storytelling rather than detracting from it.
Techniques to Enhance Flashback Writing
To master the art of writing flashbacks, consider employing these techniques that will make your flashback scenes more engaging and impactful:
Show, Don't Tell
As with any narrative element, "showing" rather than "telling" is a fundamental principle of good storytelling. Use descriptive language and vivid imagery to immerse readers in the flashback scene, allowing them to experience events alongside the characters.
For example, instead of stating, "He was heartbroken when she left," show the heartbreak through the character's actions and emotions: "He clutched the crumpled letter in his trembling hands, his eyes welling up with tears as he read her farewell words."
Blend with Character Voice
Maintaining consistency in narrative voice during flashbacks is essential for preserving the authenticity of the characters. Ensure that the language and tone used in the flashback reflect the character's voice at that particular moment in their life.
This is especially important for childhood memories. If your protagonist is recalling a childhood memory, the language and narration style should match their age and level of maturity at that time.
Foreshadowing and Subtlety
Use flashbacks strategically to foreshadow future events or provide subtle hints about upcoming plot developments. This technique can create a sense of anticipation and intrigue in readers, keeping them engrossed in your story.
For example, in a mystery novel, a flashback showing a brief encounter with the antagonist before they become the primary threat can add suspense and anticipation for the eventual confrontation.
Break the Rules Intentionally
While it is essential to follow the dos and don'ts of writing flashbacks, there may be instances where intentionally breaking the rules can create unique storytelling effects. For example, if your protagonist suffers from memory loss, using fragmented and disjointed flashbacks can mirror their confusion and contribute to the overall atmosphere of the story.
By incorporating these techniques, you can craft vivid, emotionally resonant flashbacks that deepen your readers' connection to the characters and enrich your narrative.
I hope this blog on The Dos and Don'ts of Writing Flashbacks will help you in your writing journey. Be sure to comment any tips of your own to help your fellow authors prosper, and follow my blog for new blog updates every Monday and Thursday.
Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks?
Are you an author looking for writing tips and tricks to better your manuscript? Or do you want to learn about how to get a literary agent, get published and properly market your book? Consider checking out the rest of Haya’s book blog where I post writing and publishing tips for authors every Monday and Thursday! And don’t forget to head over to my TikTok and Instagram profiles @hayatheauthor to learn more about my WIP and writing journey!
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Hi! This concept has been inside my head for a while now but which TWST boy do you think would fit this?
"Academic rivals, reader unaware that [insert character] had fallen into an obsession with her. Reader on the otherhand none the wiser of his brewing feelings until He decided to kill two birds with one stone and knock reader up.
Because not only would being pregnant cause her to possibly drop out and end the rivalry, but the baby will also be a reminder that reader is forever his <3"
I know I have a tendency to fit Azul into nearly every plot ever imagined, but this is so Azul. OTL I want to say Riddle, but he values education so much and therefore I can't see him doing something like that to you, however intense your rivalry may be. But then maybe that's also because Riddle is much too proud and he just knows he's going to be on top no matter what. If anything, Riddle will knock you up after the both of you have graduated. :)
As for Azul, he's too self-conscious (and sickly envious) and he has to prove that he's the best. You're something of a threat. On one hand, he loves you more than he loves himself and he thrives off of the rivalry because it pushes him to be even better (and it gives him a reason to be closer to you). But then he also hates the idea of being bested so often. Azul gets it in his head to knock you up because (childishly enough) he'll win the rivalry, but more importantly he can take care of you. You won't need to stress over coursework or pull all-nighters to study anymore. You can live a comfortable life with him and the baby. <3
Floyd isn't really your academic rival. He could be if he put in the effort because he's very intelligent when he applies himself. So I like to imagine that it's more of an accidental pregnancy. He's too himbo sometimes and so he doesn't realize the signs at first; and maybe you're trying to hide them for whatever reason. So when you're eating more, putting on more weight, having a warmer body temperature, being prone to bouts of sickness and sleepiness, etc, Floyd just assumes you're overworking yourself. You're super scholarly, so this is what makes the most sense to him. But he's pleasantly surprised when he finally finds out. You're not getting rid of him so easily now.
I feel like Jamil might do something like this. He's really discreet about it. Rivalry with Jamil is a topic I don't often discuss, but it has so much potential because he can't stand being second to anyone or having to force himself to fit into average standards just so he won't stand out or overshadow someone like Kalim. But a rivalry with you is fair game. >:) I like to imagine Jamil is killing three birds with one stone: eliminating you as a rival, claiming you as his own (before someone like Kalim can get his hands all over you), and finally proving to himself that he can be and is better than average. Jamil's UM is so useful for this as well because he can just twist the story to make it seem like the both of you were stressed with school and decided to use one another for some relief. Knowing how Jamil plans in advance for all sorts of possibilities and is a brilliant schemer, he's definitely thought of an assortment of lies that he'll present to you so it'll start to feel believable.
Another character who I thought of was Sebek. I never discuss him on the blog (and I really should because there's potential there, as is with the rest of Diasomnia). With Sebek I think it's more of a dominance thing. He has to prove a point, has to prove he won't lose to a human, of all creatures, and that he is indeed smart enough to be worthy of first place in this rivalry. Also, he can't let waka-sama see him losing in an academic rivalry. Oh, the shame and humiliation!!! T_T Sebek gets so wrapped up in the rivalry, too. He takes it much too seriously, determined to best you and prove his own points to himself (and Malleus, but then I'm sure this is the last thing on Malleus's mind). What Sebek mistakes for hatred is actually infatuation, but that doesn't occur to him until the idea of domesticity hits him and he sees you with your growing tummy and....... wow. He's having an epiphany.
Lastly, I think Rollo might do something like this. You'll never know this, but Rollo enjoys the relationship he has with you. You drive him mad with your obnoxious behaviors, but he has to admit you do know how to get good grades. He only competes with you so he can see you strive. After all, it pleases him greatly to know you're succeeding. The rivalry isn't truly important to him, and he's not as fired up about it as you are. But your determination is admirable and he loves the way competition gets you so eager to do well (or, at the very least, well enough to beat his scores). But Rollo has been in lust with you since the first day he met you, so it's only a matter of time before that obsession of his spills over and leaves you knocked up in the aftermath.
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What I want in a Hogwarts Legacy Sequel
Masterlist
Whilst it might be too much for us to hope for, I really do hope we get a sequel.
For me, I’d absolutely love to have a sequel be a continuation of our story, with the same characters that we’ve come to love, as well as some new ones to interact with.
Starting in our sixth year, what makes the most sense to me from a gameplay/story standpoint would be the Triwizard Tournament. Yes, it’s not canon that it would have occurred at this time, but then our MC isn’t exactly canon either!
So, here are my ideas.
The Overarching Story
A Triwizard Tournament could work for a number or reasons, such as each trial splitting up the seasons in much the same way as the Keepers Trials did, the narrative being that you as the Hogwarts Champion (because of course you are) has to solve puzzles and prepare to fight through various tasks. This will enable the character to learn new spells and potions to help them on their quest. The end of each school ‘term’ would be a Task, much like the Trials. Your friends and teachers could help your prepare for it by teaching you advanced spells, tricks and lore that will help you in your endeavours, as well as our main friends helping you figure out what each task is.
As well as this, there could be some kind of sub-plot that enables our characters to go beyond the Scottish Highlands – naturally we would spend a lot of our time in the world the devs so lovingly created, I’d never want to leave that world behind for anything, and there’s plenty the devs could do to add in new things for us to explore.
The sub-plot I’m thinking of could build on the remnants of the poachers and Ashwinders we defeated at the end of fifth year, and they’ve somehow fenagled the Goblet of Fire to accept only us as the Hogwarts Champion in an attempt to get rid of us, a la Harry Potter. Our investigations could take us to Diagon Alley, the Ministry of Magic, even Azkaban, using spells we’ve learned to solve the mystery.
It could also mean we get to meet students from other schools – yay new friends! Or rivals! Sebastian gets jealous if you flirt with them!
(Also there’s the opportunity for that Yule Ball everyone wants where you can ask one of your friends as a date.)
Oh, and whatever you chose to do with Sebastian at the end of fifth-year (if any of you turned him in I'm coming for your innards) there will be a reason he's back at school - either lack of evidence or Omi used his connections to help bail him out or whatever, but he's still with us.
Spells
We should keep ALL the spells, potion recipes and abilities we had in HogLeg. There’s no way to logically remove said knowledge from our arsenal, and it makes sense that, as sixth-years, we would expand our knowledge of magic and the world around us.
Spells like Reducto, Impedimenta, Episkey and such would be useful and make narrative sense to learn. We could build on our Ancient Magic, the Keepers teaching us a new ability each term that makes narrative sense without overpowering us (I know we’re pretty OP anyway, but stay with me on this). Other spells we could learn could be Expecto Patronum (I reckon an in-game quiz of some kind would be useful for this, as well as our choices in-game impacting on what our Patronus is), even some more unsavoury spells from our favourite curse-master.
We could learn other spells from our other friends as well, who of course would be eager to help us prepare for the upcoming tournament tasks. I reckon Sebastian, though he will have sworn off Dark Magic by this point, would be willing to teach us powerful spells that toe the moral line a bit, defensive magic or stealth spells. He’s very clever, so he’d be the one to teach you the history of the TWT and be instrumental in helping you figure out what each task is. Ominis, of course, could teach us useful detection spells that help him navigate (like a suped-up Revelio or echolocation charm) or healing spells. Poppy could teach us more about beasts (more on that in a minute), Natty could teach us how to become an animagus, Amit could teach us a method to level-up certain magic at night… the possibilities are endless!
Friendships/Relationships
I want all of our original friends to remain our friends and act accordingly – they want to help you win the TWT and help where they can – these could be side quests/tie in to the main quest.
In HogLeg’s original game files, there is a friendship chart. It was sadly scrapped and only in the very early stages of development before it was cut, but I’d love to see it implemented in a sequel. I’d say all major characters and professors should have a relationship meter ranging from -10 to +10, like nemesis to best friends, and your choices matter in this game. For example, you might have to very carefully navigate your relationship with Sebastian and Ominis, because pleasing one might upset the other, and you’d have to make very astute decisions to make them both your besties (I imagine Omi would still be upset with Seb for all he did in fifth year, and part of your relationship quests with them is helping them be friends again at the start).
Other relationship quests could be helping Sebastian repair his relationship with Anne (or helping him accept he's done wrong and he should let her come to him), helping Ominis begin the Downfall of the Gaunts (Gaunt Manor, yo!) and giving Noctua a proper burial, helping Poppy rescue beasts from her parents, getting into trouble gathering ingredients with Garreth, things like that.
Doing favours for other students will impact positively on your relationship, while fucking them over or refusing to help them (like not giving Zenobia her gobstones back, or not giving Puffskein Duncein his Tentacula leaf) would make them dislike you. I think for major characters like Sebastian, Ominis, Natty, Poppy, Amit and Garreth, it’s a given that you’re friends, and you’d have to actively work to upset them and make them dislike you – if one of them does, and you need them to learn a spell or something to progress, you’d need to be nice to them to make them like you enough again to help.
For Professors, doing well in classes (more on that later!) and completing your tasks well would curry favour with them, whilst slacking off, being rude etc would make them dislike you. Professors should be more inclined to give you housepoints if they like you, and dock them if they think you're a little shit.
I’d also like to be able to influence friendships between students as well, but that’s less important on my list of wants.
I’d say at the end of the school year, if enough students and teachers like you, they’ll see your Triwizard victory as a just achievement and celebrate as such, but if you’re unpopular, you won’t get the credit you deserve, with some students commenting that you must have cheated, etc. It's a small thing, but I think it matters.
Personally, I don’t need a romance option in HogLeg (lets face it, nothing could live up to what we’ve dreamed up in the fandom!) but even something as simple as handholding would be amazing.
On that note…
Companions
We NEED companions for the sequel. It's all very well for us PC players, we’ve got mods, but what about everyone else? Companions need to be brought into the sequel, and this is where I’d love the handholding mechanic to come into play. Walking through Hogwarts, the Highlands and Hogsmeade with the option to be holding hands with Natty or Garreth or Poppy or Sebastian or Ominis would be incredible, even if it’s just an animation and it holds no narrative weight. Being able to bring someone along with you, with their little lines of dialogue about your surroundings just makes the game even better than it is by itself.
(Playstation's Ico had a wonderful handholding mechanic, I want it to be like that).
Having your friends with you to fight by your side is, in my opinion, very important. I don’t think companions should join you in the tasks, much like they can’t join you for the Keeper’s Trials, but having them with you while you dash off all over the place and get into trouble would be brilliant, especially if they have more companion-focused dialogue, like Ominis being horrified if you use an Unforgivable in front of him, but encouraging you to get up to a little mischief (you’re quite the covert little thief, aren’t you? 💦💦), Sebastian commenting on your skills when you fight or if you sneak into somewhere you shouldn't be (how funny would it be for companions to comment on you breaking into a professor's bedroom, especially if your companion was a professor!), Poppy sassing enemies left and right, and Garreth using his experimental potions… I could go on forever about how amazing it could be with just a little more.
Lessons
It’s been mentioned that one of the things people would like is the ability to feel more like a student. Whilst I think that too many lessons you have to attend would spoil the freedom of the game a bit, I’ve seen ideas bandied about that your spells can only reach full potential if you do some lesson ‘mini-games’ – I’m on board with this idea. The only worry is it could become repetitive, but provided it’s not overdone and is optional, it could make for more immersive gameplay.
Collectibles/Selling Stuff
I really do like collectibles in RPGs like this, and I think it’s an essential part of the HL/HP games to have them, but I’d like more options to sell things we acquire. Usually by the time we hit winter in HogLeg, I’m so overpowered I don’t need to use wiggenweld except in rare circumstances, and have to actively injure my character in order to take the potion and free up the slots for when my hopping pots all have wiggenweld in them so I can use them again! If we had the option to sell the potions we brew and the plants we grow as well as clothes we find, that would be incredible.
(Also, if we upgrade our clothes, it should sell for more. Just saying.)
Merlin trials can sod off though, unless they make the cutscene skippable.
Beasts and the Room of Requirement
I don’t think the RoR needs much improving on what we’ve got, so at the start of sixth year it should be like it was at the end of fifth, only through the game and exploring the various locations you can get more decorations and furniture you can actually use (like sitting on the sofas or having a cup of tea, or doing your homework at a table, even if it’s just an animation) and the Room gets bigger/gets more rooms. A bedroom, a bathroom, things like that would just be perfect.
We NEED to be able to bring our friends to the Room, and they actually comment on it. Each student should have favourite beasts that they like (and if you bring Duncan Hobhouse in to meet your Puffskeins, he runs away screaming), and they actively play with them/groom them without you directing them (Omi would totes be besties with your unicorns). Poppy, especially, would be happy to see Highwing again, I’m sure.
You should be able to play games with your friends, like wizard chess or the like, which improves your relationships with them regardless of whether you win or lose (but if you win they give you a present), plus sassy dialogue if you lose and comments on your strategy.
New beasts would be amazing, like aquatic beasts, perhaps, winged horses (new mount!), crups and such. Not essential, but I think it would be great.
Choices Matter
Perhaps the most important bit of this long, rambly post is that your choices should matter. Originally there was going to be a housepoint/morality system in HogLeg, and I’ll be damned if I don’t want it for a sequel. Earning points for helping people, completing your class work, rescuing beasts and choosing ‘good’ dialogue options would net you points, whereas being a dickhead would lose you points. You should compete with other houses, and each student should have a percentage of points that they’re likely to win or lose. Sebastian, for example, ever the hellion, would likely lose a lot of points because he’s a rule-breaking little devil, (I imagine Ominis would too, in fairness he’s canonically a bit of a troublemaker too, but he’s just as likely to earn points IMHO). Garreth I think would win and lose points equally – he’s talented, but a bit too strong-headed to really listen to authority. Natty I think would earn more than she loses, etc etc etc. I could go on.
Breaking curfew, casting curses (where you can be seen by a prefect/teacher) or general asshattery could lose you points, but I reckon depending on the difficulty level should impact how easy it is to win points back. I’d say it’s not a given that your house will win the cup, and you actually have to work for it.
Other Bits I Want
Photo Mode – the game’s too beautiful to not have it.
No Mercy Mode – after you complete the main story, we should have this option
Ability to change Seasons after the main game is over
Curfew (turn on/off) – it’d be fun to have, but the ability to turn it off would be great so it doesn’t get too troublesome
No flight restrictions. Let me fly over Hogsmeade, damnit!
More enemy types – including dementors/lethifolds
Alohomora just unlocks doors – no shitty minigame
Functional Common Rooms – sleeping in your bed to speed time, classmates congregating there at night/going to bed (don’t care if they have to teleport there), etc.
Meals in the Great Hall – even if it’s just an animation, it’d be nice to sit with your friends.
At LEAST one F-bomb from one of the characters. Unexpected and hilarious. But which one?
I’m sure there’s plenty more I’ve missed or some things that just won’t work, but this would be my ideal sequel. Thoughts?
#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy sequel#sebastian sallow#ominis gaunt#garreth weasley#poppy sweeting#hogwarts legacy sixth-year#natsai onai#amit thakkar#professor sharp#professor garlick#professor hecat#professor black
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GTFO.
Did anyone miss Muggle London like I did? 🙃
This series as a part of "Infraction" has grown incredibly. It helped me understand a lot about things I want to write and made me think about "Infraction" as... well, my first real baby, lol. I wrote one Snarry, "Oblivion" already, but I take that story as testing the waters. I tried to know Harry and Severus, placing them in situation close to, eh, something that happened to me in a way. It means a lot to me and I'm proud of myself that I managed to write a fic from the start to the end.
"Infraction" on the other hand... this one is going to be really FAT piece of work and I'm excited over the moon about it. First chapter and the first part of second already landed on Ao3, but when am I going to finish the next part of it? (If anyone is interested at all, because I personally don't touch unfinished pieces, knowing how it works 🤣)
Well, to be honest, I decided to not rush it. Not because I don't know what to write. The main outline of the story has 40k+ words. It appeared that planning a series of murders is not so easy 😂 especially when the politics are part of it (I mean, Merlin... that's the last thing I thought I will EVER write, lol) and on top of that I have some complicated relationships (or, I suppose, a cherry on molten chocolate cake 🤤). Which makes me shiver and scream, that much I want to jump into writing it again. But the more I am thinking about the plot and fitting everything I need into it (of course writing it down), the more I'm surprised that I am able to figure out something that seems damn complex to me and my three brain cells 😂 I want to be proud of this story. I want it to be... maybe not perfect, but as good as I can see, it can be. And I enjoy the idea of growing as hobby writer. It makes me really happy. Also it's my first serious CRIME story. I know I said before that I always wanted to write crime. I always thought though it's out of my range, you know, I'm too dumb to bring something interesting that other people could possibly like as I do. But with this story I'm trying new things (like bringing Marauders to life), I'm thinking in advance, I'm on both sides: the detective and the serial killer and... GOSH. I really think it will have sense and be worth to waste some time on reading it, lol!
Also there is Snarry AUctoberfest on the way and, you know, I decided I'll try to write something for the fest for the first time! (It's my year of many first times and I really like it!) Funny thing, it appears that my fic for the fest will be a little test to what I want to do with "Infraction." When it occured to me (don't ask how it happen, but the idea I've had in mind turned 180 degree and I couldn't help it! Had to just go for it 😂) I was stunned. But in the same way it's a great opportunity to try new things, see how it will go and how it will work before I'll jump back to my baby.
If anyone checked "Infraction", please don't be mad or sad or... disappointed or angry (?), that I'm not updating it yet. This fic is absolutely my main focus and I'm tinkering and working on it. As for everything, I need time (and probably cut some other projects while I will write it; so less drawing going to be main part of the writing process 🙃 I suppose in the last quarter of the year; except if I'll have my holiday from work!)
Ah, dang. I wrote a lot here, I suppose? Less shite than messy personal stuff, but still something I guess, I wanted to share? Even if I think it's pointless and worthless, because who cares, lol. I'm learning, trying to share, I think. I should, as I wasn't doing it at all and it suppose to help me to... leave the shell of person that other people think I am. Because I grew to be someone irl that I'm really tired of being. Of pretending to be. How stupid it all sounds it's beyond me and I still deny to admit it.
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hey, do you know of any BL-s similar to A boss and a Babe? I don't mean plot wise or setting but a bl with a similar uke (Cher). I feel like I haven't seen much or at all BL-s with an uke that's such a crackhead, so vital, positive, non dramatic, up for anything, vocal about feelings and love, the one who also kinda pursues when it's needed, that pushes boundaries etc etc
Huh, you mean like a GGG uke? (good giving game)
There are LOTS of crackheads... seek ye Japan. But that goes real fast into cringe, like Secret Crush On You.
The GGG part is where we fall down. This is a very new take on the archetype. Also non-dramatic, I mean it's a BL drama so dramatic is kinda the point.
I'll take a stab!
crackhead
vital & positive (sunshine)
pursues when it's needed (switchy)
non dramatic (good)
vocal about feelings and love (giving)
up for anything, pushes boundaries (game)
Fits all 6 criteria (but in their own countries' style):
All the Liquors (Korea)
Mr Heart (Korea)
Ocean Likes Me (Korea)
Be Loved In House I Do (Taiwan)
Love Sick (Thailand - bet you didn't see that one coming)
And now some that do their best satisfying 4 ore more of the above requirements.
Thailand
Everyone is just really dramatic in Thai BL.
Coffee Melody (sides 1,2,4,5,6)
Ghost Host, Ghost House (2,3,4,5,6)
Great Men Academy (if you count it 2,2,3,6)
Ingredients (2,3,4,5,6)
KinnPorsche (1,2,3,5,6)
Love By Chance 2 (1,2,5,6)
Love In the Air (PayuRain 1,2,5,6)
Love in Translation (2,3,5,6)
Make A Wish (1,2,3,5,6)
My School President (2,3,5,6)
My Tee (1,2,3,5,6)
Secret Crush On You (1,2,3,5,6)
Why R U? (2nd couple 1,2,3,5,6)
Taiwan
Seme/uke is always weak, queerness is more authentic so roles less prescribed and campy
DNA Says Love You (sides 1,2,3,6)
Kiseki Dear to Me (sides 1,2,3,6)
Stay By My Side (1,2,35,6)
Korea
Seme/uke is pretty weak, little to no crackhead, and everything will be more reserved and muted.
Some More (2,3,4,5,6)
The Eighth Sense (2,3,4,5,6)
Behind Cut (2,4,6)
Jun & Jun (2,4,5,6)
Long Time No See (2,3,4,5,6) but also LIES
Our Boarding House (2,3,4,6)
Oh My Assistant (1,2,3,6)
Tasty Florida (2,3,4,5,6)
The Lover (2,3,4,6)
Tinted With You (2,3,4,6)
Unintentional Love Story (2,3,4,5,6)
Why R U? (2nd couple 1,2,5,6)
Japan
But the ones it does have it REALLY leans into.
Seven Days (2,3,4,5)
If It's With You (2,3,4,5,6)
Restart After Come Back Home (2,4,5,6)
Silhouette of Your Voice (1,2,4,6)
Takara & Amagi (1,2,3,5)
My Memory is shot but???
Like Love from China might work.
Most stuff from the Philippines first some if not all.
Vietnam's My Lascivious Boss and You Are My Boy satisfy soem criteria.
Might also be worth reading
List dated Mid Dec 2023, ongoing BLs not included. If it aired after that date you should add it to the comments or something.
#thai bl#a boss and a babe#gmmth#spirited uke#ggg uke characters#crackhead BL#sunshine uke#weak seme/uke#Thai BL#Japanese BL#Korean BL#Bl suggestions#Bl recommendations#Vietnamese BL#Taiwanese BL#All the Liquors#Love Sick#Be Loved In House I Do#Ocean Likes Me#Mr Heart
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Hi
So first thank you for your artwork, but also cause you started me on ROTTMNT fandom and helped me find so many amazing artists, writers, AU's etc.
Your art is amazing and depictions of all the turtles and Casey seem so in character in the same time being perfectly indulgend fluff/angst mix.
Your posts about drawing and learning more about language actually motivated me to going back to drawing first time since middle school and not to pressure myself to much so thank you again!
But back to question(s) part if you don't mind answering:
- For how long have you been drawing (professionally and not)?
- Do you have anything similar to Ko-fi or is there any other way to support you?
- Do you do commissions? If yes how it works?
- Is there chance in the future for more F!Raph? Like him bonding with Casey (maybe him telling curious Casey about how they were when they were growing up and Casey disbelief of what Sensei Leonardo was like. Or classic Raph caring about their siblings and Casey trying to learn how he menages that). Idk anything, cause after you showed me possibility I'm F!Raph starved
If you know any great fanart/fanfiction with Future Raph I will also gladly hear about that!
Hope that wasn't too long, and again thanks for your work!
Thank you:3
- Unprofessionally, I've been drawing literally my whole life. I always enjoyed drawing and did it almost every day if I could. But I was a very bad student and didn't want to learn anything at all, so my drawings were pretty ugly.
I started actually studying constructively four years ago and two years ago I started working professionally.
- No. Don't have ko-fi or Patreon or anything. I don't know if it makes sense for me to start one, since I don't want to give any special treatment for the money. I want all the people to be able to get everything I do at all times. Like..equally. And if everything I do is available to everyone as it is, why would anyone pay for it?
- No, I don't do commissions. Maybe I should give it a try. Idk
- Well, I have something in my mind about Raph. I can't say in advance because I improvise 90 percent of this comic and usually the plot twists are sudden even for myself. But I definitely want to delve into Raph's character development and backstory
My favorite fanfic about Future Raph right now is "Raph (Waits) Alone by uncouth_peasant" I think this fandom is sorely lacking stories with him that delve a little more into his life than his death.
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The implications on Ganondorf and his background in TotK suggest some very interesting things to me.
First of all, like. I love him. He specifically did not disappoint me. His JP audio fucks so hard. I love his design. He's glorious.
And Hyrule as an imperialistic divine hegemony is not a new concept in the slightest, obviously, the Ganondorf corner of the fandom have known and discoursed about the potential story ramifications of those themes since OoT, but Fujibayashi really went ham on it in his run. (And look. Zelda is made in Japan. Framing a divine imperial authority as a good thing narratively is pretty par for the course JP nationalism, to be really blunt. It is what it is. Grain of salt.)
But I do appreciate that it revisited some OoT plot beats even if it... really drove that point home again in retrospect
I guess new fans are in for a treat unpacking that;;;
Anyway in the BG of that, I'm interested in the particular minutia of what was happening with this Ganondorf specifically to flavour his particular brand of 'fuck you'
And a few important points that give broader context to things are these and I'll put under a cut bc spoilers obviously--
Rauru's repeated 'invitations' to join Hyrule and benefit from their protection (presumably some advanced technological access or strong magical allies as part of that promise, which I believe is probably anti-monster focused within world context) which Ganondorf as a King has very much ignored (and good for him tbh).
Clearly, he has an interest in keeping Gerudo independent.
Ganondorf is acknowledged as a Hero to his people. Not only does this heavily resonate with the very particular themes of his actual character design and both its Buddhist reference and Samurai trope homages, but like-- we're actively shown an explanation for WHY he may be considered such.
Being who he is, he's already magically inclined with a kinship to monsters. We are unapologetically shown him in command of a Molduga Army. Trained Moldugas, under his command-- and not under specifically his mystical command, either, but musically conditioned. Trained to follow sound based command cues, which makes plentiful sense given Moldugas are sound sensitive and Ganondorf usually has musical inclinations. Plus it's Zelda franchise, magic command music is also very much a thing but--
Moldugas are, at least medicinally, very important resources. On a larger scale, they're also a very present threat to desert dwellers and travellers, and from the looks of it in much larger numbers, back then.
Given the context of everything, Ganondorf was a badass even before 'he took a magic relic and fucked up the Hyrulean Royal Family' as he tends to do. Sporting as ever, he fights Link one on one as just a Gerudo, also showing once again that he does in fact have some personal code of honour when it comes to fighting worthy opponents. But it gives us a yardstick of how capable he probably was even before he nabbed the tear.
Capable enough of tangling with most big uglies in the desert, such as Moldugas, which he has at least trained and at most maybe even raised.
Exemplified Power as he ever is, I'd like to point out that in this case, he's demonstrating a flipside of what Power looks like-- benevolence, protection, guardianship. Once again, we have the pieces that indeed he is capable of that and showing that to his own people. He also flexes the Molduga Army as a show of Gerudo and its own power.
To anyone other than Rauru, who is an incredibly powerful Sage already, a Molduga Army would have absolutely won the day, I think. The reaction of the other Gerudo is pretty telling.
Ganondorf's faction were deeply shaken by the display of Rauru's power. And as a guy that's been knocking on your King's door and saying 'you should come and bend knee to me' when Gan already has the worst problem in the sands sorted out?
Very understandable.
From their perspective -- what do they need protection from, exactly, if not Hyrule itself? Their monster problem is a non-issue. From the viewpoint of Gerudo loyal to Ganondorf, everything about this looks like a pressured threat.
Which comes back around, of course, to what Ganondorf plainly lays out to Rauru when he gains the tear-- this is because Rauru tried to control him. And yes, that's Ganondorf and his pride and his nature in full tilt too. He will not be pulled beneath anyone or anything.
But that's the point about that hubris on Rauru's part, he felt superior and he underestimated both Gerudo and Ganondorf-- as a warrior and a leader, and as somebody who was likely managing things very well on his own.
But I mentioned factions. This is something that should be made clear.
Pointed ears are, canonically, associated with faithfulness to Hylia and/or the worship of Hyrulean spirits. This gets debated all the time, but that's the fact of it. We have been shown again and again that humans from outside of Hyrule have round ears (as long ears are associated with hearing the voices of the gods; ie being open to them). Exposure to Hyrulean aligned divine elements can lend pointedness to previously totally round ears. We see this happen.
It has been doubled down upon that the ancient Gerudo (such as in oot and FSA, with FSA having the introduction of the floral association in Gerudo design and OoT heavily centering mirrors in their spiritual practices) worship different deities, whether derivatives of Din or Hylia or completely different myth. The Goddess of the Sands has been confirmed as a deity that Hyrule itself views as evil and false.
I generally interpret this to mean that part of the reason boils down to this-- Hyrule's main concern is that pointed ears are living lives closer to the gods, and therefore more insulated against corruption and demonic influences. Rather fittingly, their patron's foremost spiritual antagonist tends to find his reincarnation in unprotected, non-Hyrulean tribes who are 'open' to demons.
Now that may be another layer to what Rauru means when he says protection, also. Worshipping the 'right gods' affords certain protections (and certainly supports the security of Hyrule itself).
In SkSW, by the way, there's a really cool point of questioning early human society too-- the fire temple depicts demons and monsters and snakes quite a bit, and these were built in a time when I suspect the humans were mostly a large proto-people.
Sidenote: I think Hylia's faithful went to Skyloft and generally shook out to be the Hylians we know later, where some stayed on Earth to serve Hylia's plan and became Sheikah, many more people were transformed into demons in a reverse-Batreaux situation, and some humans just scattered far and wide to avoid conflict.
Anyway that temple depicts Bokoblins making hand signs and long story short, the overall motif and meaning of that temple shows demons offering to teach things, approaching humans with a different kind of enlightenment. Whoever built that temple was very much in a state of open spiritual and mystical curiosity.
Now the takeaway there is, ultimately, the ancient Gerudo very much seem to be descended from such a sect of people. They have their own gods, and they're not part of Hyrule proper, and they have round ears because of it.
Botw departed from that very clearly, but in doing so, also erased and replaced almost all traces of the ancient Gerudo deities with new Hylian analogues.
The Seven/Eight Heroines count as Hylianised deities, and I believe the reason for this-- first suspected in botw but I feel it's weightier after totk-- is that they represent tear holders / Hylia aligned Sages in the seven group (edit: and apparently a Hero in the Eighth) such as those in the decline timeline. They are functionally the reason that the Gerudo of modern day possess long ears-- even where they are selective in what they worship, they are still worshipping Hylia aligned aspects of Divine Hyrule.
And in case this wasn't absolutely irrefutable to me beforehand, the ancient Gerudo Sage from Rauru's time is both loyal to him, and possesses pointed ears under her camel mask.
I would also point out the Hylians of Rauru's time seem to have longer ears in general, probably owing to having a Zonai King, ostensibly a Hylia aligned Deity himself.
Ganondorf's ears are rounded, of course. He clearly doesn't believe in Hyrulean worship even in lip service, and it's little wonder why.
But following another beat of OoT, that ancient sage is a very obvious Nabooru type character. And, in much the same way, that suggests that even when Ganondorf was King of the Gerudo only, there may have already been factions splitting up amongst their people based on spiritual practices.
I don't think it's beyond the pale to speculate there may have been a mixture of Gerudo at the time who had both pointed ears and round, signalling the confusion from and conflict between their spiritual leaders.
It seems likely that a schism probably existed, regardless of ears, but that schism-- and the sage who may well have been leading it-- may have been caused by people who decided respond to those calls from Rauru and join Hyrule without their King.
Which gives a lot more context to why Ganondorf would be in the mood to send a giant Molduga shaped "back off" Rauru's way, also.
I take particular note that Ganondorf's destruction intentions are faced towards Hyrule and her allies, and specifically those who oppose him in that goal. And while I concur that his whole Red Inheritance party ran hard and may well have had a decent hand in frightening the bejeezus out of the Gerudo who were previously faithful to him-- maybe even inadvertently sent some running for camp Hyrule-- it seems he considers modern day Gerudo, fully converted to pro-Hyrulean status, to be traitors.
We have no idea what happened to the Gerudo who followed him, so that's really up in the air as to how messy that may have gotten.
Even the woman who plays to summon the Molduga has pointed ears though, so I tend to lean that his camp got converted to Heroine worship (or at least those with pointed ears mostly did if the mixed ear situation was happening).
But heck, it would not be the first time some Gerudo got ran outta dodge after a King went belly up.
Food for thought.
#ganondorf#legend of zelda#ocarina of time#long post#totk#totk spoilers#botw#gerudo#zelda#zelda meta
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Some writing tips i use that makes writing less hard
Hope some people might find it helpful idk. Read below.
I always start with dialogues. Arguably, it is the easiest part that advances the plot the most. I write down dialogues with the barest of tags just to indicate who's saying what.
Now, add the tones, movement, and expression into the dialogues tags. Characters gotta deliver the lines somehow and you fill the space between the conversation.
When conversation is happening, internalization must occur. If you're writing from A's pov, and A and B are having a conversation, A gotta listen then reflect on B's words. You don't need to do this after every sentence but it is one of ways you set the pacing of the story. For example, B tells a shocking news to A, A take a moment to absorb the info and think. The internal thought can be from a line to paragraphs and the lenght of it sets the pacing.
Furthermore on the pacing, i personally like to equate the amount of time reader spends on reading to amount of how much they need to linger on the scene. Imagine in a fight scene, you keep the sentences short, to the point, and not complicated to deliver the fast speed of combat. When you lengthen the scene and sentences, you are putting them in a slow motion in midst. So control the pacing with your words.
Now, let's tackle settings and expositions. You can apply the tactics i use in my dialogues, but one golden rule i keep is that i write things readers can't experience first hand. If your characters are playing uno, you don't need to explain the rules in detail. What you need to do is be in the head of your primary character. Don't say winter was cold and snow was falling. You describe how character is feeling the cold on their back, snow is featherlight on their cheeks, etc.
Since we are talking about character pov, let me mention head hopping. Head hopping is where the general pov of chapter changes/hops characters in the midst of the writing. Example: we are reading from A's perspective, and then suddenly, we get a passage on B's inner thoughts, which A should not be aware of. Personally, i find head hopping distasteful. Some people can do it artfully and purposedly, like Stephen King. But if you don't have experience in that style, avoid head hopping like a plague. If the pov is in A, you only show outward emotions and actions of B.
Now you have general direction of the writing, let's add ✨️Character flare✨️. I like to think this is where you, as a writer, really shine and obtain your style. Your character is the essential core of the story, so when you write, the narrative must have their flavor. Percy Jackson series is widely liked because it is so fun to read from his perspective, his humor, and his outlook. If your character is a cop walking down a street, you show the world through their eyes. Are they double-checking dark corners? Or eyeing suspicious looking people? If your character has weird sense of humor, they will probably describe things in obscure details. Go wild with it. If your character is gen z, you can write in their cringy slangs (/j)
Now we have the skeletal of writing done. Till now, don't bother with editing. Only write even if the sentences sound shit. When you're done with base draft, you go back with a critical eye. If you're stuck on a scene, immediately skip. You can come back later with a fresh head space. Perfection is something you should worry about only in the final stage of editing.
Strange tip, but put your font to Comic Sans if you can, you will thank me later. I know it looks so jarring and ugly, but something about it makes the brain go lose on the creativity cork. I was skeptical first too, but it worked on me, and now i have 73k words in 3 months under my belt. *shrug*
And voilà, the very simplified breakdown of writing. Hope you found it somewhat helpful and happy writing everybody 😊 💪✍️
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