#i remembered that i can post about this show actually
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So we’ve all seen the posts on MC telling the brothers absurd lies about humans and just letting them believe it right?
Hear me out here: making the brothers watch the entirety of “Cunk on Earth” and just letting them believe that it is a 100% factual show.
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"When are you evolving skin made of bricks?" Belphie mumbles into your skin, pulling you closer. “What?” you ask, still sleepy from your nap. “You know, what the lady said. About the brick skin,” you stir slightly, remembering that tonights episode had mentioned it. “Oh yeah,” you say. “I think it’s gonna be another thirty years or so,” you say, running your fingers through his hair. “Why?”
Belphegor opens his eyes for approximately three seconds and gives you a bleary-eyed look. “I was jus’ thinkin’” he mumbles and snuggles deeper into the cushions. “It’s gonna be really inconvenient to cuddle when you’re made of bricks,”
—
"Isn’t it crazy that nineteen out of twenty people are criminals?” Satan mumbles to Asmodeus, while sorting through his books, looking for a particular one. Asmodeus shrugs while filing his nails. “I don’t know, seems pretty accurate to me.”
—
"What are these?" Solomon asks looking at the bag of eggs Mammon has placed in front of him. He looks up at the demon with furrowed brows. "Eggs," Mammon says as a matter of fact and pushes the basket closer to the baffled wizard. "May I ask why?" Solomon says and pushes the basket back to Mammon again.
“They're human money? It’s to pay for my debt," Mammon states. “You’ve really forgotten how things work in the human world, old man.” Mammon laughs, walking away and leaving a very confused Solomon with a basket full of eggs.
—
"Thank Diavolo, Charles Darwin invented evolution. I'd hate it if you were a fossil." Leviathan says one night when you’re playing video games in his room. You let out a surprised giggle, which causes your fingers to slip on the controller. Leviathan stares at the big red “game over” on the screen as you apologize profusely, while simultaneously choking on your own laughter.
“Actually never mind, I want Darwin to reverse evolution again.”
—
"Santa came to visit every Christmas from when I was 3 years old till I was like 14," you say and look up when you feel a sudden change in the air. Lucifer is looking at you worriedly and places a hand on your thigh. "Wow, wanna talk about it?" he asks and your brows furrow. "It's not that serious, is it really?" you say and Lucifer shakes his head, making a tsk sound. "Typical humans, always downplaying their emotions," he says and pulls you towards him, causing you to tumble into his lap. He pats your head. "Being visited by a home intruder must have been really difficult for you," he says and you blink, remembering Philomena Cunk referring to Santa as "the world's most popular home intruder".
"Oh yeah, I guess it was kind of hard," you lie, internally dying as Lucifer coos at you.
—
"What are they doing?" Solomon asks, sitting down beside you. You look up from your homework to the two demons saying nonsense at each other.
"Katze!"
"Genau!"
"I don't know, you can ask them," you say and return to your homework, leaving the wizard to deal with the two idiots. "Hey, what's going on?" Solomon calls out and Beelzebub and Belphegor's heads snap towards you. Beelzebub's lips curl into a smile and he shrugs nonchalantly. Belphegor rolls his eyes.
"We're speaking the code language that MC taught us," Belphegor drawls and Solomon looks at you. You grin at him. "Yeah, it's called German,"
#perse fics#perse fluff#perse headcanons#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me x mc#obey me fluff#obey me swd#obey me x reader#obey me crack#obey me headcanon#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me levi#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me asmo#obey me drabble#obey me beel#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphie#obey me belphegor#obey me brothers#obey me solomon
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Fic Finder
May 2nd
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1. I'm trying to re-find a fic that is a bit of a crossover between TGCF and MDZS but with Wei Wuxian reincarnated as Xie Lian with all of his memories intact, Lan Wangji was reincarnated as Hua Cheng but didn't have memories of his past life. Hua Cheng, Mu Qing, Feng Xin later reacts to Xie Lian's past life as Wei Wuxian after an accident. I'm really searching for this fic everywhere but I can't find it:: It's totally fine if you can recommend anything close to what I'm looking for if possible ^^ @daily333
FOUND? Fated by drunkkidd (G, 12k, WangXian, HuaLian, WWX & XL, XL & HC, WWX & LWJ, HC & WWX, XL & LWJ, WIP, BAMF WWX, Hurt WWX, HC & XL are in Love, Married HuaLian, WWX Needs a Hug, WWX Needs Therapy, WWX Needs a Break, Poor WWX, WWX is Not Okay, Reincarnation, Rebirth, Suffering, Temporary Character Death, Character Death, Heavy Angst, Everyone Needs A Hug, Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm) I haven't read it myself, but it seems to fit the parameters
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2. Hi, thank you so much for offering this service. It’s certainly appreciated!
I wanted to find two fics if that is okay.
A) The plot of the first fic: LWJ is a controversial singer. He’s known for his explicit music videos, and is openly gay. I think the fic author was representing the mindset of early 2000’s. His manager is Jiāng Yanli, they both bonded over WWX, who’s presumed dead but is missing. It’s also LWJ fucks. He has sex with various people, one of them being his background dancer but he doesn’t date anyone because he’s in love with WWX. WWX is actually living in hiding, (from Meng Yao). He returns and LWJ and him get together. There’s a whole car chase scene as well when he goes back to get Yuan and the rest of the Wens with Jiang Cheng.
B) The second fic, I don’t remember much from it except a scene that’s been nagging me. It’s a WangXian getting back together fic. Basically WWX returns and while LWJ doesn’t give into him right away, they still end up getting back together. LWJ had a hard time with WWX leaving. The scene that I’m referring to is in which Lwj comes home, and wwx mentions to him he and LXC spoke. LWJ panics because he’s afraid wwx will leave him again and I recall the dialogue being something along the lines of
“No, he had no right” or “he doesn’t get to take you away from me again” he starts crying I think.
WWX calms him down by saying he’s never leaving him again no matter what, even if LXC wouldn’t approve he doesn’t care for others and the only one who matters is LWJ.
Thats about it. Thank you for all your hard work! Xx
Hiiii! I am the person who asked for 2a and 2b in your May 2nd post. The first one is the one I was desperately looking for! Thank you so much for your hard work. 2b isn’t either of those, but much similar. I wish I could provide more context, but I don’t remember much. I believe the scene was Lan Zhan coming home and Wei Ying coming to the doorway mentioning how Xichen called and they spoke, Lan Zhan could’ve been hiding about wei ying coming back I think. Lan Zhan panics thinking wwx will leave him because he assumes xichen was mean to wwx over the phone and he’s scared he’ll leave as a result but wwx calms him saying no matter what he’ll never leave him again. I’m sorry for the trouble, thank you once again for your support!!
2A)
FOUND! always on my mind by sami (E, 42k, WangXian, LWJ/Other(s), LWJ & JYL, Modern, references to past Lan Wangji/others, references to past WWX/WQ, Family, Sexual Tension, set in the early 90s, Grief, Erratic Gay Superstar Musician LWJ, life is what happens in the in between, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Children, Pregnancy, not mpreg, Parenthood, Music Videos, LWJ's Gremlin Tendencies, WWX's Gremlin Tendencies, Drag, Daytime Television, Bitches Get Things Done, fictional daytime talk shows, Q&A, Slice of Life, Awards, shows, any resemblance between OCs and real people living or dead are coincidental, Communication, and how LWJ is bad at it, LWJ's weirdly wholesome kink inclinations, LWJ's aggressively artistic musical career, References to Major Character Death, Celebrity stuff)
2B)
NOT FOUND Nothing but your heart by airinshaw (E, 21k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Implied Mpreg, First Time, Getting Together, Angst and Drama, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anal Sex, Whump, Breeding Kink)
NOT FOUND 🔒 Life as a House by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (T, 55k, WangXian, Modern, Corporate Espionage, Post-Divorce, Father-Son Relationship, Reconciliation, Angst with a Happy Ending, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, LWJ Needs A Hug, LSZ is a good boy, recovery from abuse, Therapy, Abusive Relationships, LWJ pov)
FOUND! Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 107k, WangXian, Modern AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Romance, Persuasion au, Separations, Mutual Pining, Depression, Miscommunication, Emotional Roller Coaster, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Reconciliation, Eventual Smut, Jane Austen Fusion, Underage Kissing) The lines listed from 2B remind me very much of Spodumene's "Tempo Rubato," but it was WWX saying it to LWJ and talking about JC trying to warn LWJ away from WWX after a long separation. Here's the fic; the lines are near the end, in ch. 16.
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3. I read this ff one time from sizhui pov. it’s essentially about lwj in mourning clothes during wwx death . he’s commenting on the color of the robes being white and how there’s no blue. I have never been able to find it again. it;s short, maybe one or two chapters.
I do remember a scene where sizhui asks Lxc about the robes and xichen responds “he used to wear blue, sizhui, like me” — may not be the exact quote but something similar.
Thanks yall! @chenqingmagic
FOUND? In all these shades of blue (I think we found you) by Fleetling (T, 5k, WangXian, LSZ & LWJ, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, LSZ & LJY, LXC & LWJ, LXC & LSZ, 5+1 Things, LSZ pov, kinda sad at times bc wwx is dead for most of it, LSZ's childhood, LSZ growing up, LSZ isn't stupid he worked out who his father lost long before wwx came back, LJY is a Good Friend, LXC is a good uncle ok, the juniors get wangxian together at the end, minor injuries and blood but better than canon, a reflection on LWJ's clothing from the pov of LSZ)
FOUND? Revolution by mrcformoso (T, 8k, WangXian, LSZ & LWJ, LSZ & WWX, LSZ/LJY, Light Angst, Happy Ending, POV LSZ, Found Family, Toxic Elders, Fatherhood, Growing Up, The Lan Juniors, LSZ's parents suffered, And so he starts a revolution, Bringing about change, LWJ Adopts LSZ; WWX is LSZ's Parent, LSZ is a polite menace, Hanguang-jun raised an army of Lan rebels, and we're here for it, Canon Compliant, Canon Divergence, only the ending because we all hate the untamed edning, Good Uncle WN)
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4. Hi so i was looking for a wangxian fic it was a non modern mpreg fic where wwx got pregnant and had to visit some physical whom he became like friends with and lwj and lqr were there too, I honestly don't think it was omegaverse. Sorry this is all i remember but i do remember one rough line from the fic which was a convo b/w lwj, wwx and the physician the physician was asking lwj and wwx about their sex life and how often they do it so lwj responded with everyday and then the physician asked if he pulls out or smth but lwj said no i hope u can find it :> (sorry for lack of details) @monochromo
FOUND? 🧡 Vow by draechaeli (E, 216k, Canon Divergence, BeliefGod!WWX, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, Pregnancy Kink, Mpreg, minor male lactation, Consensual Non-Consent, Light Bondage, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con because JGS, Mentions Canon Typical Incest, Canon Typical Violence)
FOUND? 举头望明月 - Looking up at the bright moonby Lanwangjisnights (M, 39k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Alpha LWJ, Omega/Alpha WWX, Fox WWX, Explicit Sex, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Mpreg, Dual Cultivation) could be fic 3. It sounds like a conversation LWJ has with Baoshan Sanren about WWX's core pregnancy.
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5. Hi!! I'm looking for a fic where it's a modern au and wei wuxian gets ill when fierce corpses start spreading (almost like an apocalypse) and he gets accused of it. He ends up doing a video call (I think) with other sect leaders to explain how demonic cultivation works so they can stop the apocalypse. I know that lan wangji takes care of wei wuxian while he's sick if that helps. Thank you !!
FOUND? When the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation takes a week off by galaxy_in_your_eyes (T, 20k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives AU, only those that deserve it, kind of fix-it, Zombie Apocalypse AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Attempt at Humor, POV Alternating, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, Brief Mentions of Cannibalism, Zombies, We don't see the Zombie Apocalypse, It happens behind closed doors, WWX in quarantine, Wangxian being Wangxian, Mentions of Smut, Established Relationship, Courtesy Names, So many names, local necromancer gets sick with the flu)
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6. So I’m trying to find this fix where the wens we’re going to sacrifice themselves and Wen Qing throws her needles at Wèi wuxian but he like stops them somehow and is angry(?) and he creates like a impenetrable(?) barrier and keeps the there. @candyyii
FOUND? To Mourn the Young Man by Iamnotawriter (T, 56k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, BAMF WWX, Most people live, but not the bad guys, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal) the first chapter has WWX creating a barrier with resentful energy to prevent the needles from knocking him out, but not keeping everyone in the Burial Mounds so idk if this is it
FOUND? 🔒 Living in a nightmare by istgidek1234 (T, 68k, WangXian, JC & WWX, JC & WQ, Sect Leader WWX, Yílíng Wèi Sect, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, NMJ Lives, Angst, Fluff, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Torture, Panic Attacks, the main clans need WWX's help, and he's too nice for his own good, JZX still dies, Miscommunication, Slow Burn, Nightmares, MXY Needs a Hug, WWX Needs a Hug, yunmeng siblings reconciliation, Golden Core Reveal, Torture, but only a teeny non-descriptive bit)
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7. Fic Finder ask here, I’m looking for a fic set in the cloud recesses study arc era, it’s cannon divergent and WWX & LWJ get together during cloud recesses, I think they’re engaged as well. This fic is also a long fic. The only concrete scene I can place to this fic was WWX & LWJ having horny teen semi clothed sex in the woods where WWX is on LWJ’s lap and they’re found by NHS who clearly thinks he just walked in on them kissing and thought it was fine for them to be doing that, he just felt awkward walking in on them doing it. (So this is another point into the maybe they’re married of fiancés @ that moment in the story) I can’t remember the name of the fic, and it’s haunting me.
Hello, I’m the asker for #7 of the most recent fic finder. Unfortunately I’m pretty certain that Starving Stunted Juvenility is not the fic I’m looking for. I’m re-reading it rn but I remember I was actually very into the cloud recesses divergent aus because of SSJ, and I had definitely been reading one of those for this ask.
NOT FOUND 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 803k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) what immediately comes to mind for long, CRA get together, canon divergence is this. Can't remember if the scene you remember is in here or not but this is a massive fic so maybe??
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8. I’m looking for a yiling wei sect au that had wen cheng’s girlfriend as a double agent helping to end the war, and she ended up with wen Qing. @sentient-halloween-candy
FOUND? ❤️ Restoration by ritualist (M, 84k, WangXian, Fairy Tale Elements, Non-Linear Narrative, Time Skips, Time Shenanigans, YL WWX, Sentient Burial Mounds, Sunshot Campaign, Politics, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, JGS Is His Own Content Warning, Necromancy, Surgery, Identity Issues, Yílíng Wèi Sect, Love at First Sight, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending)
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9. Hi, does anyone remember seeing a fic where lwj shows up on wwx's doorstep out of the blue. They hadn't seen each other in a while & lwj escaped from somewhere, like he was being kept in a lab maybe for experimenting & went straight to wwx for help. I think it might have been b/c he was pregnant, maybe it was an a/b/o fic?
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10. I'm looking for a particular fic- I think an arranged marriage/immortal Wei Wuxian au, wherein he saved Luo Qingyang, Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji from the Xuanwu cave, then returned them to the clans a while later and asked for/orchestrated Lan Wangji's hand in marriage? Thank you @kedaliya
FOUND? inevitable everything by isabilightwood (E, 193k, WangXian, MM/WQ, JYL/JZX, BSSR/LY, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, but WWX is BSSR's disciple/adoptive grandson too, the cultivation sects think this is a, War Prize AU, it's actually self-arranged marriage, Arranged Marriage, yin iron shenanigans, LWJ Has Friends, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, LWJ Has a Yiling Laozu Kink, Switch WangXian, BDSM, Submissive LWJ, Dominant WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, magical illness of a side character (who will get better), Rope Bondage, Impact Play, Rimming, Bottom LWJ, Temperature Play, Face-Fucking, Breathplay, (talisman-based breathplay to be specific), Cock Warming, Public Scene, no one gets naked in public this is the sense of wwx invents the, Remote Controlled Vibrator, Semi-Public Sex, Outdoor Sex, Blindfolds, one qingmian smut scene with oral and fingering, Minor Character Death, All Sex Scenes Are Skippable!)
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11. Hello! Im trying to find a fix it fic where wei ying dresses as a lady and ends up faking his death with the help of jiang yanli and jiang cheng. A significant moment i remember is that jin guangshan tries to come onto him before jin zixuan intervenes. If you could help me find it, id be very grateful!
FOUND? Wei Wuxian, Who’s That? by bumbledees (T, 48k, wangxian, crossdressing, pining, sibling feels)
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12. Hi! For Fic Finder: I am looking for a canon-era fic where Wei Wuxian was some kind of god or divine being and the thing I remember is that he had to bond with a demon/beast-man to balance his divinity(?). Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan came to him as an example of one such duo: Song Lan was the demon half and he explained that the demons make a contract with the god to protect the god in life and then the demon gets to eat the god’s body after death. The thought of getting eaten scared WWX. I am pretty sure this fic took place during the Sunshot Campaign because WWX was fighting through some war and he was unbalanced because he hadn’t found his other half. I could also have this flip flopped and maybe LWJ was the divine one and WWX was the demon half? If anyone remembers this fic I would love to find it again! Thank you!
Hi again, I just sent in a fic finder ask about a divine WWX having to bond with a demon? I think I might have gotten two fics confused: a war fic and a religion fic. WWX might have been taken to a monastery and raised there as a mythic figure that the other sects come on pilgrimage to worship, and he is raised being told he has to bond with a dark spirit? Sorry for the mix up, but could you please add this to my previous ask? If the fics are one and the same, great! If they are two separate, does anyone recognize them? Thanks again! @gloriousclotpole
FOUND? So You Accidentally Kidnapped A Qilin by Mikkeneko (T, 83k, WangXian, Juuni Kokki | Twelve Kingdoms Fusion, mdm yu’s a+ parenting, Identity Issues, Cultivator Politics, Yin Iron Poisoning, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, WWX Needs a Hug, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, Getting Together, Temporary Character Death, Happy Ending, Pacifist WWX, MXTX Big Bang 2021)
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13. Hi, I once read this amazing mdzs fic on ao3 in which whole lan clan wasn't human, they were some kind of aliens I think, it was a secret. I would love to read it again but I can't find it @iknowitsgonnabelonely
FOUND? hollow voices ringing in your ears by LunaChi_KuroShihone (G, 5k, WangXian, LSZ & LWJ, Sad LWJ, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Supportive LWJ, Good Kid LSZ, Cute LSZ, Body Horror-Ish, the lans are tentacle monster things, Eldritch LWJ, Eldritch Lans, Family Feels, a bit of Horror, Family Secrets, YLLZ WWX, Cuddling & Snuggling, Soft WangXian)
FOUND? Wherever the Chaos is and Righteousness by syriala (G, 2k, WangXian, Eldritch LWJ, Getting Together, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Secrets, Fluff)
FOUND? Lost and Found by diamondbruise (E, 52k, WangXian, Modern AU, Aliens, Slow Burn, Alien LWJ, Crack Treated Seriously, Soulmates, Kid Fic…..kind of, i use that tag very loosely, Masturbation, Rough Sex, canon typical cnc elements, Happy Ending)
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14. looking for a fic where wangxian are already in an arranged marriage thats set in modern day. wei ying had a huge crush on lan zhan but on the wedding gay he thinks he hears lan zhan confess his feelings for someone else. this causes him to be unable to relax during sex
FOUND? A Marriage Story by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 38k, WangXian, Sex is complicated, Angst, Pining while fucking, Mature elements., Mutual Pining, Arranged Marriage, Sort Of, Misunderstandings, of epic proportions)
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15. Hi, thank you for all you do! I’m looking for a fic where WWX is feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders - I think he went back in time and was trying to fix things by himself - and the jiangs weren’t great but then WWX has a breakdown in the courtyard and was like, I’m so tired, I can’t do this anymore, and even madame yu softens at that when they realize the burdens he was carrying and he starts to get support going forward. @vi-sky
I’m 15 and while (Un)Hidden Truth is great it’s not what I’m looking for. I don’t think the attempt at suicide is in the one I’m looking for, and it also happens midway into the story not in the first couple chapters, but thank you!
NOT FOUND 🧡 (Un)Hidden truth by Sarah_R (M, 207k, WIP, WangXian, characters watching their show, characters watching the future, Time Travel Fix-It, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Nightmares, Self-Harm, fluff, Angst, LWJ best husband, WWX needs all the love and hugs in the world, and he gets it, WWX Protection Squad, The juniors are literally the light of the show, WQ best sister, YZY & JFM will realize what an absolute shit they’ve been, Character Development, Sentient Burial Mounds, Everyone Lives AU, Except the people who deserve to)
FOUND? 🔒❤️ the thing with feathers by RoseThorne (G, 43k,wangxian, Transmigration, Time Travel Fix-It, Illnesses, Family, Scars, Memory Loss, Angst, Fear, Recovery, Sharing a Bed, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Parent YZY, Referenced Sexual Slavery, Blood and Gore, Sexual Tension, Arranged Marriage, Grief, Adoption, POV Third Person, POV Alternating, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Good Parent LQR, Clairvoyance, Butterfly Effect)
FOUND? Wish me luck by starlight1395 (Not Rated, 164k, WangXian, Fix It, Time Travel, Angst, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Nightmares, Slight fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Lots of tears, canon levels of blood/violence, Minor Character Death, secondary character death, Sibling Bonding, JC curses alot, battle scenes with appropriate levels of violence and blood, semi mild smut, it's emotional and soft smut tho so it's okay, mild Self-harm)
FOUND? Time is but a Construct by Skyla15699 (M, 163k, WangXian, LXC/JC, NMJ/JGY, JYL/JZX, YZY/JFM, JC & WWX, NHS & JGY, JGY & WWX, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives AU, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Redemption, Everyone Needs A Hug, Including the Jiang Family, JGY is Not Evil, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, JC Needs a Hug, Morally Gray JGY, Supportive NMJ, Self-Indulgent, JC friendly, WangXian both time travel)
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16. hello there, i'm trying to find a fic where wwx and sizhui were both kidnapped together but lwj found them through tailsmans (i think) then wwx tells lwj that those bad people touched him and lwj gets mad (or possessive ig) thank you!
FOUND? Do not take that which does not belong to you by Selene210 (E, 7k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, dark LWJ, YLLZ WWX, Canon Divergence, Protective LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Jealous LWJ, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Kidnapping, Murder, Blood and Violence, WangXian married and have a son, Explicit Sexual Content, Biting, Marathon Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Bath Sex, Rimming, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, WWX has an angry LWJ kink, WWX Has a Breeding Kink, Wangxian canon breeding kink, LWJ's canon massive dick)
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17. Hi! I'm trying to find a fic I read where in the present day Lan Huan & Lan Zhan are at a cultivation conference. They're walking back to their hotel when ancient fantasy China Wei Ying falls out of nothing and lands on the pavement right in front of them. It turns out, Wei Ying fell off the cliff at Nightless City but instead of dying, he somehow ended up 600 years into the present. I remember that the Lan brothers immediately help him - he's fascinated & freaked out by modern life at first (both the hotel elevator & modern plumbing in particular). Um, a lot of cultivation history has been lost over time & i think WY helps with that. I also remember it turns out that Lan Zhan is the reincarnation of original LZ. I think that several other characters were reincarnated also & Mo Xuanyu is another person who somehow time-traveled to the present. I know it ended up Wangxian. I think there's a sequel where they eventually adopt A-Yuan & a little girl who is Yanli reincarnated. Please help! I can't remember the fic name & all my keyword searching hasn't worked out.
Thanks very much! @emrinalex
FOUND! 忘不了你的爱 (can’t forget your love) by PorcupineGirl (G, 25k, WangXian, Time Travel, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivators AU, Canon Divergence, Time Traveler WWX, discussion of canonical character deaths, a whole lot of handwaving, conveniently localized fires, Discussion of Canonical Suicide Attempt, mostly happy but slightly bittersweet ending)
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18. Hi! i have been trying to look for a fic that I forgot for quite a while. The thing is, i am not sure if it is a threadfic OR an ao3 fic. The only thing that I could remember was wwx and lwj was travelling together, possibly on a honeymoon after their wedding; arrange marriage. or they could just be going on a night hunt ToT the biggest premise of this was that lwj was undeniable attracted to wwx and took a peek of him while bathing and wwx was so smug because he knew he would look. @freshmilk-00
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19. Okay so there's a fic I read when I first got into MDZS about two years ago and the memory of it suddenly hit me like a truck and I /need/ to reread but I cannot, for the life of me, find it. I've gone through what feels like 100 pages of my history on a03 without luck so here I am. Okay, as far I can remember, It was still a WIP when I read it roughly two years ago, but that was two years ago so I could be wrong. Anyway, it was a time travel fic but /not/ because of canon events.
However, it was canon complacent. Basically, sometime after the end of the series, there was some really bad demonic (?) event that killed most of the world, including LWJ. WWX hadn't reached immortality but he had reached the next level of cultivation, and therefore now had a perfect memory. I know there was one scene where he realized he'd hit that breakthrough (and I think broke down?) because he was recreating the ancestral plates of the Lan and realized he knows every name even if he shouldn't.
Anyway, in this future, the remaining cultivators are able to link together to sort of super boost their cultivation? (Idk if that's the best description) and tie it to both Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning, who send their consciousnesses back in time to... I think it's when they were at the Gusu lectures. (I do not remember if this was novel or cql verse).
They gather the world (Minus Wen Ruohan and his people) to tell the story of the future but using titles people wouldn't yet have (like Yiling Patriarch. Ghost General. Headshaker. Lianfang-zun as examples) to tell the story without giving away identities (Though Wen Ning does introduce himself as the Ghost General at some point during that, giving away that identity). There's also truth talisman they wear while telling the story to prove its all true. Anyway I know this is long but I figured the more details I remembered, the better. Even if it is still WIP I just wanna reread what's there so badly.
FOUND? If You Forget Me by DivideTheSorrow (Not Rated, 189k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, YZY/JFM, WIP, Time Travel, Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Build, Relationship(s), Canon Divergence, Eventual Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Alternating, Original Character(s), Angst)
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20. hellooo! hope you all are having a good day<33 I'm looking for a fic where wwx is cursed to not see people unless he believes they love them (?) I remember that the juniors were there and so was lwg and jc. thank you <33 @val-ley
FOUND! See Me, Feel Me (Listening to You) by Ghost_Honey (T, 29k, WangXian, POV WWX, WWX Needs a Hug, WWX’s Abyssmal Self-Esteem, Emotional Healing, Angst, The Juniors love their Senior Wei, Curses, WWX is an Unreliable Narrator, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Cuddling)
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Rotten Apple | JTK
Karmic relationships indicate feeling or expressing a passionate response very early on in a relationship. Oftentimes, instant chemistry is mutually felt. Sometimes, the drain of that connection or addiction to a partner is described as exhausting rather than feeling calmly settled in a grounded partnership. (Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C, LICSW, LCSW)
Listen while reading: (the entire fic is based off this song so I highly suggest at least reading the lyrics before reading 😁)
Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader
Word Count: 16k
Warnings: PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS BEFORE READING AS THIS STORY COULD BE POTENTIALLY HARMFUL/UPSETTING TO SOME READERS//SMUT 18+, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, fingering (f!receiving), oral (f!receiving), sir kink, choking, touch of orgasm denial, dom/sub, possessiveness, jealousy, degradation, name calling, praise, rough sex, toxic themes/relationships, heavy implications/explanations of cheating/infidelity, actual cheating/infidelity, chronic cheaters, gaslighting/manipulative phrases, fighting, arguing, crying, insulting, mentions of bad relationships/relationship trauma, mistresses/home wrecking, self hatred/self sabotage, remorse/regret, depression, anxiety, (lots) angst, (some) fluff, drinking, swearing, sorry if i miss any!
and im back 😙 please tread carefully with this one if any of the aforementioned warnings are personal to you. this definitely isn’t some people’s cup of tea! aside from that, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🤍 (so sorry, very lightly edited. just wanted to get this posted so i can keep going with more stuff 😁) (also another side note, I do not condone cheating at all. was just an idea that sparked some creativity is all)
Innocence is over
Hey ah na na, over
Ignorance is spoken
Hey ah na na, spoken
Confidence is broken
Hey ah na na broken
Sustenance is stolen
Hey ah na na, stolen
Arrogance is potent
Hey ah na na, potent, yeah
“Y/N!” Your name screamed over the busy chatter of the crowd around you, catching your attention and turning your head.
House parties had always been so overrated, and since high school, it seemed the scene hadn’t changed a bit. Even in your late twenties, the spill of alcohol on the floor made your soles sticky and the haze in the air choked you as you breathed. The home you were in was familiar, but certainly not comfortable, and the memories that lived inside the walls were haunting as they flashed before your eyes. The crowd of people around you only made it harder to escape the stalemate remembering had put you in. Still, you pushed a smile on to your face, holding the hand in yours a little tighter as you marched forward toward the greeting.
So many questions flooded your mind as you closed in on the perpetrator of your punishment. You knew they would all be here; they invited you, after all. The text message exuding formalities and lacking substance was the whole reason you stepped foot in the door in the first place, and you knew without a doubt that they would be waiting to greet you soon as you showed.
Well, three of them, anyway.
You swallowed your pride, leading your company through the swarm of bodies. The weaving was tiresome, and you had only just begun navigating your way through an exhausting journey. It was too early to be tired, too soon to be so cynical, yet it was all you could do. Something about the story was too repetitive for you to believe the night would end any differently than you imagined when you received the invitation.
The questions continued to beat against your skull, twisting around the guitar riffs and raspy voices flowing through the speakers in the living room. It made for a violent pair, and your eyes began aching from the pressure behind them. Your body was telling you it was a bad idea, but you couldn’t listen. You had faith that the night would be different, that you would be different, stronger than you were before.
You could turn around, submit to your already guilty conscience and run out the door. You could pretend you never heard your name at all, and more importantly, pretend you never read the message in the first place. You responded too fast to a person who should have been long deleted from your contact list, but if you played the game well enough, you could climb out of the hole you already dug yourself in. You could come out on top of this, you could conquer the world that previously held you back from succeeding. All it took was turning around, leaving, walking away from him.
For some reason, your feet continued forward, neglecting every warning your psyche could give. They carried you far enough that you landed before the person you knew you should walk away from.
No, not the person.
Just the closest one to him.
“Hey, Josh.” His name felt like poison on your tongue, already seeping through the gaps of your teeth and searing holes into the flesh. You could feel the pain deep into your jaw, running down the back of your throat and circling around your neck. The sensation was lethal, but it was addicting. Something about the brothers made you a sucker for the pain. You hated the names now, but you hated yourself more for never having the willpower not to speak them.
“I’m glad you came! I didn’t really think you would message me back.” He confessed, leaping forward and extending his arms outward.
He wanted a hug, innocent and warm, a sure way to greet you with all of the love he still had for you.
To you, it was none of those things. Instead, it served as a reminder of your catastrophic failures and the life you once lived. A life that was painful, ugly and cruel, but still seemed shiny, like a dream you craved to see in your deepest sleep. The person that used to hug Josh Kiszka was not someone you wanted to be, but it was someone you could not escape, someone who only showed herself when she was around him. You could not be around Josh without being near him, too, and for that reason alone you had pinned Josh with his brothers crimes, too.
Still, your arms wrapped around his torso, pulling him closer and torturing yourself with the scent of his cologne. As his arms closed in around you, the anguish of the familiar touch nearly sent you to your knees.
It wasn’t the same, but it was the closest thing to what you truly wanted.
“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, I figured I’d stop by and say hi at least.” You replied, your head still swimming with uncertainty over the interaction. “I should probably be on my way soon, anyway. I can’t stay long.”
“Oh come on, stay a while! Don’t leave yet, you just got here!”
What game was he playing?
He knew the consequences of your presence in their lives, and he was lighting a match that would fuel an unstoppable fire.
“Maybe just for a little while.” You gave a soft smile, hiding your longing for the connection you had so long ago. His words were kind, more generous than they should be, but the weight of your past mistakes were heavy between you.
Maybe that was why you didn’t have the heart to turn him down. Subconsciously, you were stuck in some repetitive cycle of trying to right wrongs you were not fully responsible for.
“Who is this, anyway?” Josh turned to the man standing next to you, eyeing him carefully as he took in the sight before him. His gaze traveled from his face down to his arm, piecing it together once he saw your fingers still interlocked with his.
“This is Cole…” you said, slowly while Josh’s eyes moved back to meet your own. “My boyfriend.” You didn’t need to say the word. The implication was already painfully obvious, and all you did was rub salt in your open wounds.
Why did you bring him with you?
Why did you come at all?
“I see,” Josh grinned, but it was just as fake as your own cheeriness. You were both thinking the same thing, without a doubt for the future when the night came to an end. “It’s nice to meet you, Cole. I’m Josh.” He extended his hand for your new boyfriend to shake, the formality only slightly off putting as Josh’s eyes remained locked with yours.
‘Not tonight, Josh. Not this time.’ You tried to plead with him, silently telling him that tonight would be different than all the ones that came before. ‘It’s different now. You have to believe me.’
He did not, and you could not blame him. You did not even believe yourself.
By the end of the night, your relationship with the boy beside you would be no more. Jake Kiszka would see to that, and your undying desire for him would solidify it. It was a matter of time before you crossed his path, and not long after that would the incessant cycle resume exactly where it left off.
“Nice to meet you man.” Your boyfriend's voice was cheerful, and unlike yours, genuine. If only he knew the hurt he would endure, he would have left long before he ever experienced love at your hands.
No matter how hard you tried, it always ended the same way. No matter who it was, they were never able to compare to the boy who forever stole your heart.
“So how do you two know each other?” Cole asked, looking down at you now. You bit the tip of your tongue, standing stoic for a moment as you tried to come up with a quick lie. Without being too obvious, you tried to silently warn Josh to keep his mouth shut. You should have known better.
You have always known better.
“She’s never told you about Jake?” Josh laughed, finding the notion incredulous. He was too drunk to lie, but it wasn’t like he could ever do it sober. Your cheeks flushed and your eyes pointed towards the floor, feeling your heart jump to your throat and your head begin to ache. The poison of Jake’s name melted your tongue entirely, leaving you wordless and unable to defend yourself.
“Jake?” Your boyfriend asked, wearily speaking the name aloud as if it were a curse he was desperate to avoid. “Your uh… your ex?” He wanted clarification, or assurance that he was wrong, but it was something you could not give to him because he was right.
“Y-yeah.” You choked out, feeling your throat begin to close and air become scarce. “This is his brother.”
Innocence is over
Cole formed a tight-lipped smile, but did not let go of your hand. In an instant, he understood that attending the house party was not a mindless effort at a drunken date. He was not meeting your old friends, and he was not out to have a good time. Instead, the intent ran much deeper, and he was being used in a pissing contest for bragging rights to the ex he had always felt inferior to.
You wanted to assure him it wasn’t like that, but it was, and speaking would get you no further ahead of the game.
Why would Josh tell him? Why would he say it like that, as if Jake was the reason why you were there?
You closed your eyes, silencing your brain for a moment as you digested the truth.
Jake was the reason why you were there, and he was trying to spare Cole the heartbreak.
“He was barely an ex, Cole. You know that.” You spoke, bargaining with the distaste already forming in his heart.
Out of all of the dishonesty you had already dealt, that was the truth. An ex was not what you would classify Jake as, because you barely dated him. In fact, you hadn’t really dated him at all. You spent weeks secluded behind the walls of the very house you stood in now, nights wrapped up in him, tainting his sheets with the smell of your shampoo, but you were never his girlfriend.
You wanted to believe that if you had stayed just a little while longer, gave him a little bit more, maybe you would have been, but holding on to that belief was painful more than it ever served a comfort.
“Right,” he whispered, his hand still in yours. It felt wrong, just like it had the first time he ever held it. Cole never should have been in the middle of this, because he never should have been yours at all. You had no idea why you ever said yes to the title of girlfriend, because you never wanted it, and you had no idea why you invited him here tonight, especially knowing how it would end.
“Either way, it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to see Jake, I came to see you.” You said, pointing the finger at Josh to get yourself out of the spotlight. “You asked me, remember? What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t come to celebrate your new album?” You forced another smile, begging them both to believe that’s why you really showed up. Cole seemed to relax slightly at the sound of your words, but his chest still ached at the idea of being in Jake Kiszka’s house.
Was Josh encouraging you to fall back into old habits? Was Josh playing martyr for a cause that would only hurt everyone in the crossfire?
You could not believe he wanted to see you, because if he missed you so much, he would have shown up at your door. You would have went for coffee or shared dinner like you did so many times before, but instead he invited you to a party hosted by the one man you needed to stay away from.
“The worst.” He joked, playing along with your poor excuses. An awkward silence hung heavy between the the three of you. Nobody knew what to say, because no words could ever turn the conversation to a positive tone.
“Did you want a drink, baby?” Cole asked, looking over his shoulder to the liquor bottles on the kitchen table. You followed his gaze, eager for him to leave you alone so you could pry into Josh’s head.
“Yes, please.” You nodded, giving him a smile.
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” He said, clearly looking for a way out of the tense situation.
“I’ll be right here.” You promised. He seemed reluctant to leave you, but after a shared glance and silent reassurance, he retreated to the kitchen.
As soon as he was out of earshot, you turned to Josh again, desperate for an answer.
“Why did you invite me, Josh?” You asked, your tone turning grievous in an instant. The sweetness you held seconds before disappeared without a trace.
“He wanted me to.” Josh admitted, giving a shrug of his shoulder. “I didn’t know you’d bring a date.” He continued, his words more accusatory than you liked.
“Is it a crime?”
“When you know the consequences, yeah.” He answered, truthful with his response. “Listen, I’m happy to see you, Y/N. Whatever the fuck happens between you and Jake is none of my business. You’re my friend, and I’m glad you came, but I do think that you should be mindful of him before anything happens.”
“I’m not here to see Jake, Josh. I came because you invited me, because we’re friends. Remember, before all of this shit happened?”
“How could I forget?” He chuckled, thinking back fondly on the memories. Josh had been your friend first, the whole reason you knew Jake at all, but after all of the pain, your friendship with him seemed to get lost in the mess. “As much as I’d like to believe that you’re here to see me, we both know it’s not true.” He paused, thinking carefully before he spoke again. “And as much as I don’t want your new guy to get hurt, it would be nice to see you and Jake catch up, especially after it ended the way it did.”
“I’ve got nothing to say to him, Josh.” You crossed your arms over your chest, accentuating the cleavage in your already skimpy dress. You had picked it with Jake in mind, even if you would never admit it.
“You have lots to say, mama. We all know that.”
With that, a body presented itself beside you again and a drink was being offered to you. You sent Josh a pointed stare, letting the action finish the conversation for good. Josh nodded, placing a hand on your shoulder and giving a gentle squeeze before walking away.
Cole noticed, and you couldn’t blame him for his questioning gaze, but it did irritate you beyond belief. He was treading in waters too dangerous to survive.
Instead of asking, he opted to keep quiet in fear of the answer he would receive.
Ignorance is spoken
“It’s really nice of you to support Josh like that, even after Jake fucked you over.” Cole said, sending a small smile your way. You took a moment to admire him, his beauty, and his bare-faced stupidity.
“We’ve been friends for a long time. It’s the least I could do.” You shrugged, brushing off his sweet sentiments.
Cole knew you were not there to support Josh, but he was forcing himself to believe it. It was easier for him to digest, thinking that your intentions were friendly and honest. When he focused on the alternative for too long, he thought he would be sick.
Before you could respond, you were pulled into a whirlwind of emotion as your eyes fixated on something within the crowd. In the distance, you saw a flash of familiar brown hair. The sight made your stomach turn and your palms turn clammy.
He wanted you to come.
Josh’s words repeated in your head, making it hard to think of anything else. Jake wanted you there. He asked for you. He knew you would never answer if he asked you himself, because you had never been keen on giving him what he wanted.
That was yours and Jake's biggest problem; you wanted too much from each other, and neither of you had ever been very generous. He wanted more than you could give, and you wanted what he could not provide.
Despite knowing that about yourselves, there was this incessant temptation in both of your minds, forcing you to believe that you were the best the other could ever get, even if it never worked out, and even if all it ever caused was pain.
The familiar head was not pointed in your direction, but you were certain it would be soon. The two of you had an awful attachment to one another, the bond extending into the realm of spirituality and likely even far beyond it. If you walked in a room, he knew, no matter how far away or how invested he was in something else. If you left, your absence hung heavy in the air and haunted him, even if he did not witness you leave. He was completely in tune with you, knowing your next move without you saying a word.
Even if you tried to ignore it, you knew you felt it just the same when it came to his presence and absence.
He was a habit you couldn’t kick, a guilty pleasure and an addiction far more lethal than one to substance. You would search for him in every room, cry out for him and him alone in the darkest nights, and long for his company after he disappeared from sight. His voice was like venom, seeping under your skin and tainting the blood supply the minute it reached your ears. His eyes, easy to get lost in and your definite demise.
He was not good for you, and he never would be, but you couldn’t stop yourself from wanting him. He was the most karmic relationship you’d ever engaged in, punishing you for wrongs you’d committed long before you met him. At the same time, he was making you engage in far more at his hand than you ever believed possible. You didn’t want to want him, but it was impossible to deny. The thought of not needing him was obsolete, because you never knew a moment of peace after he walked into your life.
You could not be with him, and you knew even in the future it would never be in your cards, either. For some reason, even while knowing he was actively ruining your life, you jumped at the chance to love him one more time. You destroyed every opportunity given to you in favor of his twisted agenda, and you did it without regret or second thought. New relationships blossomed after he walked away from you, and failed when he decided to walk your way again. You needed to stay away, to put a boundary in place, but you loved his sin too much to refute it.
You had slowly come to terms with the fact Jake Kiszka would be your kryptonite until you took your dying breath. He was inescapable, and even if you would never truly be his, he would always have a part of you.
No, he would always have all of you, but he would never be yours to keep.
And just like the world ensured it a million times before, the head turned, and the familiar brown eyes seemed to be staring into your soul once more.
You couldn’t run, because he would always find you. You couldn’t run to him, because the boy by your side would know the truth behind the situation you had been trying so hard to keep a handle on. You were stuck, glued to the floor and locked in position until he decided to walk your way.
He was in control, and always had been. Since the moment you met him, you were happy to leave your fate in his hands, blindly trusting a man who only ever did what he could to fuck you over.
You couldn’t see all of his face, but you knew how beautiful he looked despite the crowd standing in his way. You could picture it crystal clear, the pout of his lips and the heavy-lidded eyes filled with lust. You knew the wrinkled furrow of his brow better than anything else in the world, and the softness of his skin and how good it felt under your touch.
As he stared, only his eyes visible to you, you knew he was envisioning all the same things.
“What’s wrong, babe?” Cole asked, his voice concerned. His hand on your back was excruciating, the overwhelming feeling of wrongness growing by the second.
You wanted to tell him, to send him away before he met the same fate as everyone who came before him, yet you couldn’t bear the thought of confessing all of your secrets to him. Some small part of you even believed you could avoid it this time, even whilst you felt the gravitational pull all the way across the room and through the crowd. You wanted to be the good guy and spare him, and you wanted to be the best person and end the cycle, but you knew neither would happen.
There were two reasons why you could not do those things; one being that Jake Kiszka made you into the worst version of yourself, and two, he was walking towards you now with no intent to slow.
“I-I’m okay,” you tried to assure him, but your voice was shaky and your words were weak. It did not take a genius to understand why, and as his eyes moved to look in the same direction of yours, his stomach was sick with fear. He did not know Jake by looks, but he knew you, and he knew that your pompous reaction would not be caused by anything other than him.
“Y/N, let’s go.” Cole said, trying to get you out of the situation before it began, but you were already in his sight, and there was no shying away. The hunter settled on prey, and you could only hope that Jake had enough kindness left in his heart to spare you from the suffering he so often inflicted upon you.
“I-I can’t.” You shook your head, noticing his grip move to your arm. He was trying to force you away, almost as if he knew his fate before it began to unfold.
“The fuck you can’t.” He scoffed, nudging you in the opposite direction of the man approaching you. “Let’s go.” He said again, harsher than the last.
You should listen.
You should leave.
It was too late, anyway. Your choosing of Jake over anyone else was a disaster, but it was something no outward intervention could have possibly changed. It was your own personal law, and when it came to a competition between Jake and anyone else, the contender always lost.
He was in front of you again. Months of static silence and breaking hearts, months of longing and yearning for something you could not have, finally came to a bitter end. It had been so long since you were face to face with Jake that you almost managed to forget how intoxicating his aura was. Almost, being the key word, because deep down you knew you would never forget a thing about him.
“Long time no see, sweetheart.” His voice was like liquid gold, washing down over you and curing any ailment that plagued you. The pout of his lip had only become more irresistible, and his chocolate coloured irises locked you in for eternity. Even if you wanted to leave, you knew it to be impossible.
“Could have kept it that way.” You replied, your lips turning down into a slight frown. Your eyes, though, told a much different story that he was quite privy to. You were good at keeping the feelings between the two of you a secret to anyone looking in, but inside, you were dying for him to touch you. Just once, just for a second so you could ascend to heaven again. It was a feeling only he could give, and you had been deprived of it for a long time, constantly in search of the high since his absence began.
“Right,” he chuckled, remembering your snarky tone all too well. “That’s why you came to my house? To bitch at me for saying hi?” His words were evil, and so was his tone, but you nearly went weak in the knees hearing the domineering voice once again. His eyes held emotion different from the venom of his words, and you could feel how thrilled he was to see you again.
“It wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t bitching at you for something, Jacob.” You reminded, keeping your expression stony so he could not use anything to his advantage.
“Of course, angel. It’s what I love most about you.” He smirked, nodding in agreement. You noticed his eyes flicker to the man beside you, the one holding your arm so tightly in hopes he could pull you away. Jake bit back a bigger smile, knowing there was nothing strong enough in the world to pull you away from him.
His black dress shirt was held together by the bottom three buttons. A fitted suit jacket was settled neatly atop it, but it was not screaming anything overly fancy. The cheap necklaces around his neck dumbed down the expensive clothing, but you cursed how remarkably well it worked together. His dress pants hugged his hips, and the tanned skin of his chest held your attention. It was not the clothes that sent you mad, but the fact you had before studied the beautiful intricacies that lie beneath.
“Are you going to introduce me to your little friend?” He cocked his head to the side ever so slightly, raising his eyebrow in inquiry.
Little was a term he used only to assert his dominance. Cole stood heads taller, and his shoulders were much wider, but in the moment, Jake appeared much bigger than the man beside you. His ego was so large that it left no space in the room for anyone else, and his confidence made Cole pale in comparison to him.
“Boyfriend.” Cole corrected, his jaw clenched and his grip on you growing tighter by the minute. At that, Jake laughed out loud, unable to hold his feelings on the matter. Cole swallowed back the bitter taste it left in his mouth, but opted not to respond.
“Okay.” Jake nodded, looking back to you for clarification. “Your boyfriend.” He reworded his question, putting emphasis on the term and making it painfully apparent he had no interest in talking to Cole at all.
“This is Cole.” Was all you said, your nostrils flaring slightly at Jake’s egotistical expression. As much as you craved for him to touch you, you weren’t blind to his abhorrent tendency towards cockiness.
“You move on quick, sweetheart.” He noted, glancing back at the other man for a moment. You scowled at his willingness to shame you for dating another when he was the one who drove you to it in the first place. Before you could comment on his misplaced belief, a blonde haired woman appeared beside him, making the situation all the more tense. You forced a smile on your lips, watching closely as she clumsily grabbed his arm, claiming her territory without a trace of humility.
“Seems like you do, too.” You shot back, biting down on the tip of your tongue hard enough to draw blood. The metallic taste filled your senses, but the pain did nothing to deter the rise of anger in your chest.
She did not say a word, but she did not have to. She was the same to Jake as Cole was to you: a placeholder.
As much as you were a victim to Jake, he was just the same to you.
You moved on, found another to replace the hole he left in you when he walked away. He found her, hoping she would feel as good in his arms as you did, but she could never give him the same thing. She could try until the end of time, but both of you knew she could never come close.
“Was nice seeing you, Y/N. Don’t be a stranger.” His words were equal to a dismissal of the conversation, but his eyes spoke something completely different. He wasn’t done, and neither were you. He approached you with intent to start anew, and he would see through to it no matter who got caught in the crossfire.
He slung a lazy arm around her waist, giving you a subtle wink before pulling her off in the same direction they came.
You thought you were going to be sick, your entire body aching with the knowledge he was touching someone other than you. You wondered if you loving someone else plagued him with the same illness, or if he viewed it as a game. You constantly feared that he did not feel for you what you felt for him, but you’d always been too afraid to ask.
“What a fucking douchebag.” Cole muttered, only loosening his grip on you after Jake was out of sight. As he let go, you raised your opposite hand to the same spot, rubbing the sore skin where his fingers rested moments before.
“He’s not that bad, Cole.” The defense slipped out without a second thought, and his misplaced confidence was shattered entirely. You looked up at his face, wide eyed and regretful of your words, but the damage was done and a fight was unavoidable.
Confidence is broken
“Not that bad?” He echoed, practically scoffing the words out.
“Yeah, Cole. Not that bad.” You repeated, rolling your eyes. “He’s full of himself, yeah, but when you get to know him, he’s actually got a pretty good heart.”
“Good enough heart to fuck someone else in your bed?” He questioned, remembering the tearful stories you had told after too much wine. Your expression dropped, your heart plummeting to your stomach as you were forced into a memory you were committed to forgetting. “Did you actually come here to see him?”
“Yeah, he’s an alright person, but a shitty fucking boyfriend.” You nodded, swallowing back the lump forming in your throat. “Which is why I’m dating you, and not him.” You clarified, averting your gaze to the ground. “No, I didn’t come here to fucking see him, Cole.”
“I’m sorry, baby.” He whispered, realizing his harsh words were not needed.
At the same time, they were. You were playing the victim to avoid being the bad guy. You hated being the bad guy, and when it came to Jake, you couldn’t seem to escape the title.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom.” You forced the words through your teeth, feeling the whirlwind of memories wash over you like acid rain. Your skin burned as they continued to flow, and you knew that you would die before you could ever outrun them.
“Babe, come on.” He pleaded, reaching out for your shoulder to hold you in place. You shook him off as soon as his fingers connected with your body, stepping away without a second thought.
Without any regret, you left him amidst the swarm of people in the house of your ex whom you knew you’d end up in bed with by the end of the night.
Even though the thought normally settled your upset stomach, not even the promise of sex with Jake could cure the sickness that washed over you. Remembering was the biggest curse of your entire relationship, and unfortunately for you, most of your relationship was remembering. You went without him more often than you were with him, and even the sweetest of memories were tainted with sins and sourness.
You navigated your way to the bathroom blind, your sight ridden with pictures of Jake shirtless in your bed, and worst of all, shirtless in bed with someone else.
If not for you knowing the house so well, you would have gotten lost in the endless sea of flashbacks.
From the very beginning, yours and Jake’s relationship was bound to fail. It began from lies and deceit, and it would carry on the same way until the next bitter end.
“And this is my twin brother, Jake, and his girlfriend, Suzanne.”
“You can call me Suz,” she flashed you a breathtaking smile, extending her arm towards you.
You barely registered her hand in your face, nor her friendly introduction, because you were too busy gawking at the blinding beauty of the long haired man beside her. You cleared your throat, swallowing hard and blinking twice to bring yourself back to reality. Even as you reached to shake her hand, you were unable to focus on her. As disrespectful as it was, even if it was her boyfriend, he was someone who was meant to be admired.
Plus, his wandering eyes and lustful gaze made it all the more easy to completely discredit the woman offering you her kindness.
Of course, it started that night. It started the minute his eyes locked with your own, like an unavoidable omen of the horror you would soon endure. The connection was instantaneous, and the desire followed not far behind. Although you didn’t sleep with Jake the first night you met him, you were no better than a mistress without ever taking your clothes off.
It started with lustful glances, then came the flirting in secrecy. Within days, he was going out of his way to catch you in the hallway or alone in a room to profess his affection for you. Weeks after that, the touching began, slowly but surely. It started with a lingering hand on your back, or hugs that never should have been initiated at all. Then, his hands drifted closer to your hips, and even worse, your ass. The hugs lasted far too long, and his lips treaded dangerously close to your skin.
You hated thinking about what you did to that poor woman, the tearful eyes as she berated the two of you as one. She was kind, she was beautiful, and she deserved better, but Jake Kiszka had always been too much to resist. Now, he was a habit you could not kick.
Over the years, the women became countless, and then men from your relationships, too. Everyone else saw that you could never keep a relationship, but it ran far deeper than that. You did exceptionally well at hiding your affections, and even better at hiding your betrayals. Jake and you never felt the desire to commit to one another, so instead you ruined other people while you committed to your relationship in every way other than officially. You did not intend to hurt so many people, and you never planned to betray others on behalf of each other, but it always seemed to happen no matter how hard you tried to stay away.
And then one day, the two of you had enough. You had lost too much humanity on your endless quest to be with each other, sacrificing too many people in the process. You decided to try, to be with each other in an honest and sincere way, just to make the world a little bit better for each other. You wanted to love each other openly, without anything or anyone standing in the way.
But, you didn’t want to be in a relationship.
Exclusivity was agreed upon, but labels were tossed in the garbage. The two of you convinced yourselves you were happy with the arrangement, and for a while, you truly were. At first, you kept it very quiet. You went on dates and stayed the night at each others houses, but only rarely. Most of the time, it was quick hookups whenever you had the opportunity to do so.
Then, things changed, and in his opinion, for the worst.
Both of you fell in love, completely and utterly, without question or care. Your apartment was forgotten after weeks of you staying in his bed. You shared meals together, sat outside on the porch and watched sunsets and sunrises, and said I love you in every action, but never aloud. Jake was indefinitely intertwined in your life in every way possible, and you were happy with it, until he said the dreaded ‘L’ word aloud.
It slipped out, carefully and quietly while you laid in his lap on the couch, watching reruns of your favourite shows. At first, you thought you misheard him, but the silence that hung in the air told you the truth about his words.
You loved him too, and you cursed yourself for not being able to say it back. You thought that it was too much too soon, despite living with love surrounding you constantly. It scared you, and you reacted with fear, even with your heart screaming at you to stop.
You didn’t say it back, because you neglected labels and thought it was not possible to be in love because of that. And, true, genuine love scared the absolute shit out of you.
It scared him too, but he seemed to harness more courage in that moment than you had in your entire life. Instead of applauding him for it, you effectively slapped him in the face.
For a few days, things carried on like normal, but you could notice the tension in the air. Every day, you could tell he waited to hear it, that he needed you to say it back, but it never came. After a while, he began to pull away, showing the old Jake that made you fall in lust with him in the first place. There were no more shared meals, and definitely no more sunset gazing. The television was off more often than it was on, and the blankets on the couch remained neatly folded on the back. The bed felt empty, even when both of you lied in it, because the distance between you two grew larger by the day.
But the sex?
It was better than it had ever been.
You wanted to tell him that you loved him too, but you were so paralyzed with fear that the word got stuck in your throat every time you tried to speak. Instead, you let him distance himself, knowing you’d already pushed him too far away. You continued to fall more in love with him, and he forced himself to fall out of love.
Then, you came home to him in bed, but he was not waiting for you. Instead of anticipating your arrival, so you could live as roommates rather than lovers, you found him wrapped up in another woman who gave him more than you could in the moment.
It was tearful, angry, and loud. Things were thrown, shattered on the floor, and your throat was raw from belittling the man you had only ever wanted to love.
You had finally gotten the karma you had rightfully deserved, and you finally understood the horrible pain you had inflicted on so many others.
The story finally ended the same way it started, but the two of you never recovered.
You moved out, but you were never able to rid yourself of Jake Kiszka. Intermittently, drunken and sad, you’d show up at each others doorstep and give in to your needs once more. He hated himself for hurting you, and you hated yourself for letting it get to that point. Blame was abundant, and regret plentiful, but one thing never changed; the fact that you two never fully fell out of love.
Too fearful of hurting each other the same way again, you fell back into old habits. You and Jake could never commit to each other, but could never stop loving one another enough to put an end to your toxic ways and commit to someone else. The second time around, it was much more difficult, and a lot messier. Your secret-keeping abilities had greatly decreased, and worst of all, everybody knew how you felt about each other.
When he left for his last tour, ready to release a new album and move forward in his career, you took it upon yourself to try and end the curse indefinitely. You blocked his number, removed him from your life in the most brutal ways possible, and you never spoke to him again. You vowed to start over, to be better, to love someone properly without the memory of Jake Kiszka tainting it before it could begin, and you did well.
For a while, at least. Until Josh sent you the damned message that landed you at his house that night.
With a boyfriend who you’d been with for long enough to take a bigger step, you crawled back to Jake like a dog who’d been lost without him. All it took was a single glance, and you knew Cole would meet the same fate of so many others, and you would meet the same fate that would inevitably ruin your life.
Your hands gripped the countertop of the bathroom tightly, holding yourself upright as the grief did all it could to break your bones. Your chest was heavy, your heart aching and your mind overrun with thoughts of a man you could never fully comprehend. He hurt you, and you hurt him, but never enough to put a stop to it for good. There was something deeper, something so incomprehensibly strong tying your souls together, even if you wanted to sever the bond. You could run to the ends of the earth, away from him and all of the mistrust and deceit the two of you had created, but you knew you would run so far that you would end up behind him, whispering in his ear as you pleaded to start anew.
You looked up at the mirror, trying to understand the woman staring back at you. She was a stranger, a shell of the woman who existed before meeting Jake. She was barren, cold, and tired. She wanted to love, but could not love anyone other than him, no matter how hard she tried. The bathroom door was cracked open ever so slightly, the glow of the hallway light illuminating your tired features, only worsening the sorrow you had for your former self.
As if on cue, the door creaked open by the push of a hand. The yellow glow of the lightbulbs were blocked by a body, casting a shadow over the already dim room. You did not need to look to know who it was; you could feel his presence without ever seeing his face, and it was just as beautiful as you remembered.
No matter how much you hated yourself for the relentless cruelty you inflicted and endured, it could never amount to the love you held for him in your heart.
“What are you doing up here, all by yourself?” The words were sickly sweet, settling in your spine and relieving you of all the tension that gathered over the course of the night. Without even looking at his face, you felt yourself stepping towards him, gravitating to the one thing that continually held you to the earth.
Jake closed the bathroom door behind him, locking the two of you inside together, looking at your sad expression with the utmost regret in his heart.
If only he could do it right, to take back all of the wrongs that got you to where you were, he would do it in a heartbeat, for you.
But you had always been better off as a dirty little secret, and he made a much better whore than he did a lover.
“Waiting for you to come and find me.” You quipped back, covering the sadness in your eyes with a soft smile. He stepped towards you, meeting you in the middle. He reached forward, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as he gazed down over your face.
“You look like a fucking whore.” He rasped, his voice quiet but not hateful. His eyes raked over your body, taking in your low cut dress revealing more of you than he’d seen in a long time. His hand dropped from your face entirely, instead reaching forward and anchoring itself on your hip.
You leaned closer, your painted lips barely hovering over his own. The warmth of his breath on your skin was enough to make you forget about your sadness, and any remorse for your actions fled the minute he touched you.
“You don’t like it?” You asked, pushing your bottom lip into a pout. It grazed his own, sending a rush of emotion straight through the both of you. In an instant, you were one again, two bodies combined into a single entity after being forced apart.
“Oh, sweetheart.” He let out a low chuckle, shaking his head ever so slightly at your dramatics. “You know better than that.” His other hand rose, settling on the back of your neck. The pressure of his hand on the base of your skull caused your head to tilt upwards towards his just a little more, just enough for him to see your eyes. “I love it.”
“Did you miss me, baby?” You asked, your mouth watering at the thought of tasting him alone. His cologne was suffocating, but it was so delicious that it helped you forget about the dying itself.
“Do I have to answer that?” He smirked, his body nearly completely pressed into your own. The space between you was non-existent, blatantly showcasing your lack of growth during your time apart.
Sustenance is stolen
“No, because I know you did.” Before the words even left your tongue, his lips were on yours in a heated reunion.
The sensation was euphoric, something you’d been searching for without ever realizing it. The whine that rattled your chest sent a shiver down his spine, only encouraging his bad behavior further. He drank in the sound like a man dying of thirst, desperate for a drop of anything you could give him. You were the only woman in the world who could do such things to him, and despite pledging to stay away, the two of you would always end up in each other's arms. Whether it be morally right, or morally wrong, his arms were where you were always meant to be.
In an instant, you were no longer the woman who came to the party with a boyfriend who treated her well. That title was ripped from you, stolen from his grasp in exchange for a single moment alone with the man who forever plagued your mind. Just like every man before, he stole you from him like a thief in the night, never satisfied unless he could make you his own again. He knew the love you gave was addicting, and anyone who received it was dependent upon it. He did not commit such thievery for any reason unjust, but because he remembered the effect of your affections so well. Without you, he thought he would die, and because of that, he was willing to sacrifice any other man’s life so he could survive off your love alone.
The taste of alcohol lingered on his tongue, making the moment all the more enticing. His touch was burning, but only ever pleasantly. Right and wrong did not exist; only he did, and you submitted to the knowledge that you lived solely to be his. You were not cut out to be a wife for a man who had his life together, and you were not meant to mother a child or start a family with a man who earned his keep honestly and loved sincerely. You were a mortal being who’s soul had been blackened with lust for an entity with more power than you could comprehend. You were born to play Jake’s twisted game, and over time, you had grown happy to be a part of it.
You were a whore, but only he knew how to pry that out of you. His words were laced with poison, his tongue made of opiate, his touch of ecstasy, and every action completed with intention to kill. You would not commit the crimes for another, because there was nobody else worth the effort.
“Taste just as sweet as I remember, Angel.” He withdrew a long breath, parting from you for just long enough to utter the praise.
“So good you couldn’t stay away.” You whispered, wishing he would kiss you again. It had been so long since you experienced such pleasure that you thought you might die without it.
“I can never stay away from you, sweetness.” He said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and in his defense, it was.
He backed you up against the countertop, locking you in place with his hips. As he leaned his top half towards you, you leaned backwards to allow him easier access. His lips landed on the side of your neck, his kiss gentle and nowhere near what you remembered of him.
For a second, you let yourself believe there was some kind of sentiment behind his action, like he still cared and wanted to appreciate having you again.
Then, you pushed the thought from your head. The worst thing you could do to yourself was imagine that Jake cared about you, even if it was true.
His mouth traveled downward, drifting over the column of your neck and brushing over your collarbone. His tongue trailed over the soft skin, reminding himself of all he missed out on while he was gone. He was a man gone mad, driven to insanity just from the taste of you on his tongue. As tempted as he was to leave a mark behind, to claim territory that had always rightfully been his, he knew he couldn’t. He did not want to make the fallout any worse than it needed to be.
Instead of showing his true feelings, he spoke it into existence as an insult, inadvertently begging for you to validate his feelings on the matter.
“What would your little boyfriend think of you now?” He muttered, his face buried in your chest as his mouth ghosted over every available inch of skin. The hum of his voice against your body made you weak in the knees, but his words plagued you with guilt. You were not the person to get off on infidelity; in fact, before you met Jake, you despised it. You were not sleeping with him for any twisted desires or hidden kinks, but because you loved him too desperately to walk away. You would take him any way you could have him, even if it was despicable.
“The same as your girlfriend would think about you.” You reminded him, assuring he knew you were not the only one at fault. Your tone was breathy, your heart thudding against your ribs as his hands scoured your thighs. His fingertips settling just below the hem of the skirt, begging to go further but waiting for your permission.
“As if I’d ask her to be my girlfriend.” He scoffed, revolted just at the thought of it. His hands trailed higher, in search of the seam of your underwear. He seemed to freeze in place, his fingers inspecting your hips underneath the cool fabric of your dress. Slowly, his head raised from your chest, looking up at your face with a wondrous twinkle in his eye. He could not find what he was looking for, because they did not exist. His hands felt only the softness of your skin, without barrier as he smirked up at your rosy cheeks. “For me, sweetheart?”
“It’s always for you, Jake.” You averted your eyes, an unfamiliar feeling burning in the pit of your stomach. You weren’t sure why you were so sheepish of the fact; both of you knew it all too well.
“You’re too good to me, angel.” He commended your efforts to please him only because they worked so well. He bunched the skirt of your dress in his hands, pushing it up past your hips to reveal your lack of underwear. The sight of you exposed in front of him was nearly too much for him to bear, but he persevered through the abundance of lust he felt for you in hopes of drawing the reunion out a little longer.
His fingers slipped between your legs, pushing them apart so he could continue his tyranny without interruption. You watched him closely, inspecting every move as if you needed it to survive. In some sick way, you did. You felt as though if you were deprived of his touch for too long, you would succumb to death and waste away to nothingness. His touch hovered above your heat, but he was unwilling to give you what you wanted so easily.
How foolish of you to believe that Jake would be kind, even after such a long absence.
“Please touch me, Jake. Waited so fucking long.” You whined, looking down at his hand between your thighs, taunting you with the power you knew he possessed.
“Oh no, sweetheart.” He shook his head, chucking at your neediness. “You don’t get to call the shots.” He said, his eyes flickering up to meet your own. “You left, remember? You blocked my number and went off and found someone else to take my place. You don’t get to complain about it after you finally decided to come back.”
Arrogance is potent
Oh, so he was mad. Good thing for him, you could play that game, too.
“Quit it with the fucking pity party, Jacob. We both know you’re not innocent, either.” From sweet to sour in a second, your entire demeanor changed in response to his ridiculous claims.
“You should see yourself.” He smirked, moving his hand a little closer to your aching cunt, but not close enough to touch you, yet. “Just as desperate as you were the last time I saw you, still so eager to be fucked while your boyfriend waits for you downstairs.” He spit the word as if it were a bitter taste on his tongue, easily telling you that the old game of cat and mouse had changed. He was going to fuck you, but he was angry that you had tried to move on despite him doing the exact same thing.
“Oh, you poor thing.” You seethed, feeling the rise of anger begin to take over your body, too.
Clearly, leaving silently had deprived you of the release you so desperately needed. There were too many loose ends, too much emotion hanging heavy on the both of you. You had waited nearly a year to get it all out, a year of suffering before you could even begin to release some of the pain you locked up so securely in your heart.
“Don’t tell me your feelings are hurt, Jacob.” You raised an eyebrow, condemning him for feeling any kind of sorrow over your new relationship.
“Over you? As if.” He sneered, the momentary sweetness from earlier fleeing him completely. Touching you again was euphoric, telling of all he still felt of you, and he didn’t mind letting you know he missed you. Unfortunately, it brought up a whole other whirlwind of emotions that were far less appealing.
“Still doing whatever you can to convince yourself you don’t care about me, hmm?” You snipped, taking the opportunity to slide your dress over your head, leaving you completely exposed before him. “We both know why you’re upset, Jake, and it’s not because you don’t care.”
His hands shot to your hips, lifting you on the counter and setting you down on the cool surface. Now that you were locked in, his own body ensuring you could not run, his hand was between your legs again and finally connected with your cunt.
“What is it then, if you think you fucking know everything?” His fingers sliding through your folds, gathering the wetness on his fingertips and circling around your clit made it hard to respond. The feeling was so grand, even if the action was small. It was something you’d been waiting for since he got on the plane that flew him away from you, severing the twisted ties that held you two together.
The most harrowing revelation came when you understood that it was even better than you remembered it to be.
“You’re j-jealous, Jacob. Just fucking say it.” You spat between waves of pleasure, looking down at his face with a distasteful look in your eye. He was silent for a moment, opting to watch his hand working at your cunt instead of responding to your accusations. Eventually, after an unusually long bout of silence from him, his eyes flickered back to your face.
Without him saying a word, you knew you hit the nail straight on the head.
“You think it was nice to see that you found someone to take my place after I was gone?” He whispered, his tone dangerously low. “That he’s been taking up space in your bed where I used to sleep?” He growled, the curl of his lip resembling him as more of a wild animal than a man who had been hurting on your behalf. He raised his other hand to your neck, the back of his fingers gently caressing the side of it as he let his words sink in. “Do you think I liked the way he was touching you, like he was protecting his territory? Like you haven’t always been mine?” The possessive claim caused you to clench around nothing, desperate for anything more than he was giving you.
His fingers closed around your neck, the grip loose but foreshadowing of all that was to come. His face was close to yours, so close that the tip of his nose brushed against your burning cheeks and his lips were ghosting over your own.
“Answer me.” He whispered, letting his middle finger slide down to your entrance, feeling his way through the arousal he was responsible for.
“No, sir.” You shook your head, almost finding yourself sympathetic for the pain he was masking with his cruel words.
“So why did you bring him here, sweetheart? To rub it in my face? To piss me off?” He asked, slipping his finger inside you and letting his thumb drift over your clit. He began a steady pace, clearly getting himself worked up as he made a point to berate you for your decisions. “Did you want me to get jealous so I would start a fight with him and show everyone how much I fucking care about you?”
“N-no, sir.” You whimpered, feeling the flutter of an orgasm begin to blossom in the pit of your stomach. The curl of his fingers was addicting, and with every pump of his hand he was hitting the sweet spot inside you only he knew how to find.
“Don’t lie to me, baby.” He said, his fingers tightening around your neck a little further. He wasn’t ready to take it all the way, because he wanted to hear the truth before anything else. “You’re a little attention whore, and you wanted me to tell everyone out there that you’re mine. That’s all you ever fucking wanted, right? To be mine, and for everyone to know it?” The conversation was taking a dark turn, but you were too needy to complain about it. You thought if you kept talking, telling him what he wanted to hear, he would give you what you needed.
You were too stupid to realize you were only digging yourself a deeper hole, and the one you were already in was much too steep to climb out of.
“Yes, Jake. I did. That’s all I wanted.” You nodded, hoping he could feel your sincerity. You were not lying, because it was all you ever wanted. To be his and his alone was what you craved, with no one standing between you and no more secrets.
“So instead of telling me that, what did you do?” He snarled, moving his fingers a little faster. The change in pace caused your whole body to quiver. Your skin felt like it was on fire, and your mind was consumed with him entirely. He wanted you to confess, to tell him you understood the mistakes you made and atone for your sins. He needed it more than he ever needed anything else in his entire life.
“I-I left,” you choked out, feeling his fingers tighten on your pulse-point. Your heartbeat was pounding in your ears, so powerful it was pulsing behind your eyes. “I was scared. I was too scared to say it, Jake.” You wheezed out, feeling your head begin to swirl from the pleasure and the lack of blood flow.
“Yeah, you fucking left. You were too scared to say it, so you left me to feel like an idiot for saying it first.” You were no longer speaking of the significant others you had left downstairs, nor your absence in the months prior. He was talking about that same dreaded instance that replayed in your mind every single day.
He was talking about it.
Aloud, he spoke the words, for the first time since the war began.
“M’so sorry, Jake.” You pleaded, feeling so strung out that the apology seemed misplaced. Recounting your mistakes did not seem fitting with his fingers inside of you and an orgasm threatening you. “I felt it too. I should have said it.”
“But you didn’t. You never fucking did, because you only ever cared about yourself.” Your eyes shot open, suddenly being pulled from the euphoria taking over your entire body. Your nostrils flared, your pupils blazing with a fire that only he knew how to ignite. He knew he struck a nerve, but it was exactly what he was intending to do.
“You fucked someone else in our bed.” You seethed, your words weak from his palm pressing against your trachea. Even in your rage, your hips moved down on his hand in search for more.
Just like always, sex was the most important thing to both of you.
“Instead of talking to me, you fucked someone else and tried to play the victim!” Your words were stronger now, fighting against his power with ease.
You were the only person in the world who ever had enough courage to challenge him.
“I guess we finally got what was coming to us, then.” He muttered, scowling at the thought of the pain you two caused each other, scowling at pain you’d caused so many others. “You still haven’t learned your lesson, because you’re back here begging for more, doing the same thing to him.”
“You don’t get to chastise me when you’re doing the same thing.” You spat, enraged at his self-righteous response.
“I never said I was any fucking better, sweetheart.” He reminded you, a small, sick smile toying at the corners of his lips. As angry as you were, and as much as your chest ached, you still knew you couldn’t walk away from him. You were destined to want Jake in the most despicable and destructive ways until the very end. The only comfort was that you knew he was destined for the same fate.
Without removing his hand from your throat, he moved forward and captured you in a kiss, sealing the evil you spewed within you forever. You pulled his bottom lip between your teeth, your need for him animalistic and unnatural even after his cruel treatment. The only reason it did not bother you was because you knew you deserved it.
As he kissed you, his hand continued working at your cunt, pushing you to the brink of an orgasm with great ease. You let out a moan into his mouth, giving him a taste of the pleasure he was granting you. He drew in a sharp breath, the sound settling deep somewhere in his soul and making home there for eternity.
He parted from you, but not because he wanted to. He would kiss you until his lips turned blue and his lungs collapsed, happy to die at your hands. He broke away because of need, and one that much much stronger than his urge to kiss you. His grip loosened around your neck and his hand dropped to your hip. He withdrew his fingers from you, causing you to let out a hiss of displeasure at the sudden loss of the orgasm he was so close to giving you.
Before you could get a complaint out, he dropped to his knees before you, gripping your hips and pulling you closer to the edge of the counter. He guided one leg over his shoulder, pressing his lips to the inside of your thigh as an apology for his sudden change in pace. At the knowledge of his next move, you were all but upset with his decision.
“Oh, fuck.” You groaned, your head falling backwards as his tongue connected with your clit. Your hand reached for his head, your fingers tangling in his hair as his tongue ran through your folds.
The sweetness of your arousal was something he’d missed so dearly, something he could never find from another. It was more addicting than any substance and it was the very reason he could get himself out of bed in the morning. Being with you in such an intimate manner was the only reason his heart continued to beat, and the only thing he continued living for. His tongue circled your clit, continuing his torment in a whole new way.
With just a single swirl of his tongue, you felt like screaming his name, just to tell the whole world how good he could make you feel. It was almost comical, how you searched far and wide for someone who could make you feel a shred of what he could, and nobody could even come close to him. Your whole body had been begging for him since you stepped foot into the familiar home, and now that you had him, it still wasn’t enough. You needed everything all at once, things he could not give to you and things you could never ask for. You needed Jake far beyond any other person, and far beyond what was possible from him.
You needed him to be more than a dirty secret, a betrayal of trust in a bathroom at a house party. You needed him to be yours, but you knew he would never be.
Your desperation was immeasurable, and your entire body was aching for the orgasm he previously denied you of. It was a terrible feeling to have, knowing that your life was completely in his hands. Whatever he decided to do with it, you would go along happily so long as it pleased him. It was a terrible thing to know you would never truly belong to yourself, even if Jake was long gone from the world.
He was living for your shallow breathing, surviving off of your choked moans. Pleasing you was his favorite thing to do, even if he hated you in the moment. There was something so gratifying about his name on your tongue, and something so beautiful about how easy it was to make you feel good. He tried his best to ignore the incessant thoughts in his head about another man touching you the same way, about someone else believing that you were theirs.
Both of you knew you were Jake’s, and he was undeniably yours. The facade you put on and the games you played with others were just that; the only thing either one of you knew to be real was the way you felt for each other. It was painful, harmful and frustrating for the two of you to constantly avoid the way your hearts felt for each other, but it was all you knew. It made more sense for the two of you to deny and lie about your feelings than it ever did to fess up.
He pulled away from you, catching his breath as he looked up at your face from between your legs. “Come on, angel. Let me hear how good I’m making you feel.” He hummed, moving his thumb over your clit so he did not lose the momentum.
“You want to hear it, baby?” You breathed, looking down at him through your lashes. “Did you miss it?”
“Dreamt of it every goddamn night.” He said as a matter of fact. You let out a whine at the sound of his words, pushed even closer to the edge at the knowledge he thought of you just as much as you thought of him.
You were in no position to deny him anything, because he was giving you the entire world. As he leaned forward, his mouth connecting with your core once again, you let a long slur of curses fall from your lips. The moan that followed could only be classified as pornographic, carrying through the door and echoing into the hallway for everyone to hear.
He was doing exactly as you wanted; he was making it so the entire house could hear how much you meant to him, even if it was not in the way you so badly wanted from him. Still, it was enough to keep you on his hook, and that was the very thing he wanted to ensure.
“God, feels so fucking good, Jake.” You gasped, feeling your abdomen tense with a particularly strong wave of pleasure. He hummed against you, speaking encouragement for the show you were putting on for him.
You knew if he continued on like such, it would not be long until you descended into an orgasm. He was waiting, just as desperate as you were to feel you let the pleasure take hold. He brought his fingers to your entrance, slipping his middle and index finger inside of you to add to the sensation. You inhaled a sharp breath, feeling the curl of his fingers hit the same spot he found so easily just moments before.
“Fuck,” you hissed, feeling yourself clench around his fingers as the knot in your belly threatened to snap. At the familiar sound, he took it upon himself to suction his lips around the sensitive bundle of nerves, adding more pressure to the already otherworldly feeling. Your grip tightened in his hair and your entire body was rigid as it prepared to be pushed over the edge. “Oh god,” you cried, your throat raw from the primal sound that tore through you.
Had his mouth not been so intently focused on you, you knew how sweetly he would have talked you through it. No matter how vicious or volatile he spoke to you, he never missed out on the opportunity to coddle you as you came. It was his favorite thing in the entire world, an excuse to show you the softness his heart had for you when he usually felt like he needed to keep it hidden. He continued pumping his fingers and moving his tongue, guiding you through the high with expert precision. As he noticed you relax against him, he tapered off his movements before pulling away completely.
He rose to his feet, already tossing his belt on the floor before he was even upright. Your mind was still swirling with the lingering euphoria, your skin electrified and your heart pounding in your chest. You watched him, wordless as he unbuttoned his pants after he threw his shirt to the ground alongside his belt. He freed himself from his boxers, the sight of him nearly too much for you to handle. You missed him so dearly and needed him so badly.
He stepped forward, landing between your legs as he gazed down at you. His lust-blown pupils turned his eyes near black, and he was aching for relief just like you had been minutes before. “I want to hear you say it, sweetheart.”
“Say what?” You asked, your eyebrows knitted together in confusion. He gave you a soft smile, void of any malice for a moment. He wanted to admire you beneath him, so desperate to have him. He wanted to enjoy the beauty of your heart being his despite being promised to someone else.
“You were just as jealous as I was, angel.” He said, his hands gripping your hips as he pulled you closer to the edge of the counter. You put all your trust in him, knowing that if he faltered, you might fall to the floor.
“So what?” You huffed, your cheeks turning red at his accusations. He smiled down at you, moving his hips forward ever so slightly. The tip of his cock rested against your entrance, already wet with your arousal.
“Do you really think I’d give her half of what I give you? That she means nearly as much to me as you do?” He questioned, his grip loosening slightly now that he had you in the position he wanted.
“No, baby.” You shook your head, wondering if tonight would be the night that things would change. “I know that.”
“You know she has nothing on you, beautiful.” His hand trailed up your side, the light touch tickling your skin as his fingers drifted over your stomach. “Nobody does.”
With that, his sweet sentiments had come to an end. He slammed his hips forward, the size of him coming as a surprise and filling you completely. A gasp left your lips as your tried to recover from the shock and adjust to him again, realizing that in the time spent away from him, nobody felt as fulfilling as he did.
To him, no one could compare, either.
“That’s it, gorgeous.” He muttered, clearly strung out from the pleasure too. In just a moment, he was back where he was all of those months ago, in love with you and desperate to hear you say it back. “God, you feel so fucking good.”
His praise was exhilarating, and his love was blissful. As he began a slow pace with his hips, the grief was almost overwhelming the pleasure. You wondered why it couldn’t feel this good with him all of the time, and you dreaded him walking away after the night came to an end.
He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours for a moment, likely mourning the same fate that the two of you so often fell into. Loving you was all he wanted to do, but he was so afraid of falling again that he convinced himself he wasn’t already long past in love.
His tongue danced over yours, the taste of his sin too much to bear as your chest began to ache. You wanted to remain strong, to carry on with the one thing that the two of you were good at, but it felt so different than it did all the times that came before. The emotion you had neglected to acknowledge was finally pushing to the surface, angry about being ignored.
It wasn’t the right time, but you feared the right time may never come. You had to stop being afraid, to find the courage he once had and utilize it.
You could feel it too, even in his cruel words and his harsh insults. The love was there, lingering in every touch and screamed in every kiss. You could not allow yourself to remain in the same incessant cycle of pain, but you could not will yourself away from him. There was only one way to change your ways, but it was the hardest thing you had ever done. Loving someone so completely, no matter the circumstance, was terrifying. Saying it aloud only made it all the more real.
He pulled away, breaking the kiss and in turn, breaking you from your internal brooding. He looked down over your face, his hips still rocking against yours. The pleasure in the pit of your stomach had nothing on the yearning of your heart, and he could see it in your eyes. He had to look away, to hide his heart from you so you could not break it again. He feared the longer he stared, the closer he was to confessing the same thing all over again.
In a moment of desperation, he withdrew from you entirely, letting his hands settle back on your hips. Before you could complain, he pulled you from the countertop entirely, landing you on your feet in front of him. He had to change the pace, to harness that same carnal desire and rank it more important than how he felt for you emotionally.
Without a word, he spun you around, forcing your top half down towards the counter. The cold surface was a shock to your system, especially after growing comfortable with the warmth of his body against you. He pulled your hips back towards him, positioning himself at your entrance again.
“I think I’m being far too nice to you, sweetheart.” He muttered, reaching up and grabbing a fistful of his hair. “If I remember correctly, you only like to be fucked like a whore.”
This time, when the insult slipped past his lips, it did not feel good nor did it prompt any wave of arousal. It hurt, and it hurt achingly bad.
Still, knowing you were not strong enough to utter the proclamation of love, you went along with it despite the ache in your chest.
“Yes, sir.” You hummed. Despite the sadness of the change of position, you were still excited at the idea of fucking him. If you could not love him, you knew it was the next best thing.
Slowly, he pushed inside of you, knotting your hair around his fist as he pulled your head off the counter. He leaned down, his lips hovering just over your ear as he continued at the agonizingly slow pace.
“Just like this, sweetheart?” He asked, making sure that when his hips connected with yours he added a little extra force. “Does that feel good?”
“Feels so good, baby.” You whined, the intimacy of the moment sending a shiver down your spine. His breath was hot on your neck, his voice barely above a whisper but loud and clear to you. As you answered, he let his teeth sink into your earlobe, the light pressure prompting a flutter in your stomach. Your walls clenched around him, pulling him in further and locking him there indefinitely.
Despite the pace being slow, the power behind his hips was what mattered, and with every re-entry, he added just a little more force than the last. As his cock brushed against cervix, your knees went weak and your stomach twisted into a knot. You had no idea how he could make you feel so good, but you knew you never wanted him to stop.
“He can’t fuck you like this, sweetheart.” He whispered, his lips still hovering above your ear. “He can’t make you feel this good.” He continued, his hand on your hip tightening with every word. He was mindful, careful not to leave any bruises despite his desire to. “Can he, angel?”
“F-fuck no, Jake.” You shook your head, feeling him press a kiss to the sweet spot just below your ear.
“Right, baby.” He hummed his approval, his words muffled due to his lips on your skin. “Nobody can make you feel as good as I do because you’re mine. Do you fucking understand me?”
“God, yes.” You nodded against his hold, desperate to agree with him on that fact. No matter what, you were undeniably his.
“Did you think of me when he was fucking you, angel?” He asked, his tone growing stronger by the second. He was pissing himself off the longer he thought about it, but he was willing to make that sacrifice in order to chastise you for your decisions. “Did you wonder when I would come home, when I’d come back to take care of you?
“I did, baby.” You whimpered, feeling the effects of his presence finally begin to take hold. You were strung out on pleasure, at your end already despite him being far from done with you. You were tired, but your body would not accept the fact. You thought if he stopped, you might die from the withdrawal from him. “I thought about it every fucking day.” You confessed. “I needed you, because nobody else knows how to do it right.”
“Exactly, sweetheart.” He hummed an agreement, happy to hear it from you. “You knew I’d never leave you behind. You knew I couldn’t fucking stay away.” Even if he wanted to, he never could. The confession was heavy, despite the fact already being known to you both. “God, what do you do to me?” He growled, the slam of his hips rocking your thighs forward into the countertop. Another groan tore through your chest, vibrating your entire body as he continued to fuck into you.
“Jake,” you warned, feeling your legs begin to wobble and your mind start to haze.
“I know, baby.” He crooned, placing another sloppy kiss to the exposed portion of your neck. “Being such a good girl for me. Just hold on a little longer.” At that, you let out another whine, loud and impatient, clearly unhappy about his plea to wait. In response, he roughly pulled your head to the side by your hair, craning it upwards a little further so he could press his lips to yours.
The kiss was enough to satiate your undying need for him, but the taste of his lips made the sensation in your stomach grow tenfold. The only difference was, now you could not warn him about the climax creeping up on you.
Luckily for you, he did not need to be warned about anything. He knew you better than anyone or anything, and he could feel how close you were just from your body alone.
“Oh, angel, you make it so fucking hard to say no to you.” He let out a long sigh, breaking the kiss as he let his hips rest against the curve of your ass. He had to slow down or he feared he might let go, too.
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” You gave him a weak smile, your eyes heavy as you looked back over your shoulder at him.
“With you? Always good, even if it should be bad.” He chuckled, placing a kiss to your shoulder blade before he straightened up again.
His hand remained in your hair as he took a deep breath, calming himself down before beginning again. The feeling of him moving inside you again after the short break was intense, amplified by a million. Although he believed stopping might allow the two of you more time, as soon as his hips reached the same speed as before, you were both just as close to the end. He couldn’t deny you the orgasm again, and he could not hold himself back. After so long without you, he needed it more than he needed food to survive.
“Can you cum for me, baby?” He asked, pushing your head down into the counter. Your cheek was squished against the surface, and his hips were moving with such strength that it made your head spin. There was no question that you could reach the climax, because you had been doing nothing but trying to hold back.
Instead of responding, your eyes closed and the burning in your stomach reached a whole new level. You had never gone so long without him, and now you had no tolerance for the pleasure that came with his company. A choked moan filled the air, letting him know that you were doing exactly what he asked of you.
His hand on your hip tightened as he pushed you further down on the counter. “That’s my girl.” He muttered, looking down at your face as you descended into pleasure. Your legs trembled and your lungs burned, but you were on top of the world. You felt better than you ever had, and likely better than you ever would. It had nothing to do with the sex, nor the stimulation of him inside you, but rather just the thought of being his.
You managed to sing his name through the mess of moans and curses, the sound heavenly to his ears. He waited so long to hear you say it like that again, and it sent him over the edge just the same as you. As you reached the high together, the world felt right again, like coming home after an inexplicably long and tiresome day. He spilled his release inside of you, feeling you relax against him as he slowed his thrusts. He leaned down, pulling your head to the side with much more caution than last time, and kissed you with all the love he could muster in his whole body.
You stayed like that for an abnormal amount of time, neither of you keen on the idea of parting from one another. Eventually, he broke the kiss, looking down over your face with adoration in his eyes. He did his best to snap himself out of it, knowing he shouldn’t be feeling such things about you, but unable to stop. He straightened up again, making sure to admire the entire scene of you below him, too fucked out to form a single thought. Then, his eyes traveled to the mirror, catching a glimpse of your position from a whole new perspective. He swallowed hard, his jaw tensed as he let out a shaky breath.
“How am I supposed to let him take you home tonight after seeing you like this, sweetness?” He asked, looking at your reflection in the mirror. When he realized your head was pushed too close to the countertop for you to see too, he used his grip on your hair to pull you upwards.
Staring back at you was a mess of the woman you walked into the bathroom as. Your cheeks were streaked with mascara, your skin red and blotchy and your hair a mess. Beside your reflection, you could see him watching you, studying you. His eyes were fixated on your face, taking in every detail you were noticing. To him, you were not a mess; you were the most beautiful thing to ever grace the earth. The mess just made it all the better, especially knowing he was the one who caused it.
‘I don’t want to go home with him, Jake. I want to stay here with you.’ You thought it, but did not dare say it aloud. The flash of sadness in your eye was apparent to him, for he had the same one in his.
What I see is unreal
I've written my own part
Eat of the apple, so young
I'm crawling back to start
If you did not speak now, you never would. Could you remain the same forever, or did you need to change to survive? You did not know what to do, or how to feel. If you said it, would it even mean anything, or would it be a waste of breath? He did not want to hear the words a year later; he needed it way back when the two of you were curled up together on the couch, when he used every last ounce of courage to say it first. He didn’t need to hear it now. He didn’t need you fucking up his life again. He didn’t need you.
But if he did not need you, why did he abandon his date in search of you, in search of what you used to be?
There was no more anger between you. Your eyes locked together in the mirror, housing a silent battle of uncertainty as you watched each other's every move. If you spoke the truth, the world would change indefinitely, but you did not know if it would be for better or for worse.
Oh, what did it fucking matter anymore?
You had to say it, to know that you exhausted every option to keep the man your heart sang hymns about. You could deal with the consequences later, because right now, you both needed to hear it.
“What’s wrong, beautiful?” He asked, knowing there was some kind of war being waged in your head. He was afraid, not of what you wanted to tell him, but because he thought you wanted to end the constant debacle between you.
You could deal with the aftermath later, but you were done being sad. He waited so long, just the same as you, and you had to say it.
I repent tomorrow
Hey ah na na tomorrow
I suspend my sorrow
“I don’t want to go home with him, Jake.” Your voice was strong despite your worry the words would not make it past your lips.
“Then don’t.” He could not help the spark of hope that ignited in his chest. He rested inside of you, terrified to move as he awaited what you would say next.
“You mean it?” Say it, or forever hold your peace, coward.
“You know there’s always a place for you in my bed.” He was unsure if he was taking your confession in the way you meant it, but by god he hoped that was what you meant. Your eyes caught his again, holding him captive with your stare. There was not enough courage in the world for you to say it, but you could not hide it any longer.
“I love you too, Jake.” You said, your tone strong and your intent true. Nearly a year later, you finally said it.
The world was still. The commotion outside of the doorway stopped, and your relentless thoughts wasted away to nothing. For a moment, you even believed your heart ceased to beat.
“I love you, Jake. I should have said it a long time ago, but I’m saying it now, and it has to count for something.”
“I’m sorry, Y/N.” he said, statue-like as he stood behind you. For a moment, you thought you might die from the pure grief that encased your heart. You waited too long. It was too late. “I’m sorry I hurt you, and I should have said that a long time ago.”
Neither of you moved, and neither of you knew what to do next.
You got what you thought he could never give, and he heard what he feared you might never say.
Was it over? Was that it? Did you end the curse that had plagued you since the very beginning? Had you repented enough for the rottenness of your actions?
Could you really have him with no secrets and no more lies? Could you love him without restraint, without any pain?
“Let me love you, Y/N. Let me do it right this time.”
“Okay.” You nodded, your eyes never leaving his face. “Please, Jake. The world hasn’t felt right since that night, until now. I want to try again, and I don’t want to be a terrible person anymore.”
Carefully, he withdrew from you, trying to limit the mess as he helped you up off the counter. He turned you to face him, bringing his hand to your cheek to swipe away a tear that escaped your eye.
“I have been waiting a lifetime to hear you say that, sweetheart. I would be a fucking idiot if I gave it up twice.” You lifted your head, a small smile tugging at your lips.
“I’m sorry it took so long. I’m sorry I was so stupid.” You said, reaching out and wrapping your arms around him.
The hug was simple, but to the two of you, it was everything.
“I was stupid, Y/N.” he said, burying his head in your hair. He took a deep breath, finally feeling the tension in his body fade away into nothing. The smell of your shampoo, and more specifically, the way his pillows used to smell when he was sleeping next to you, was his favorite thing in the whole world, and he’d been deprived of it for far too long. “I don’t want to be stupid anymore. I just want you.”
“I was always yours, Jake.” You whispered, closing your eyes as you rested your cheek on his bare chest. “From the minute I met you, until my very last day on earth.” He did not need to reply for you to know he was yours, too.
Finally, after writing your own wretched tale, you had grown enough to rewrite it and atone for all of the mistakes you made before.
Finally, you could love him without having to worry about anything else, without pain, and without suffering.
Finally, he was yours, and only yours, like it always should have been from the very beginning.
#gvf#jake kiszka#greta van fleet#sam kiszka#jake gvf#danny wagner#sam gvf#danny gvf#josh gvf#gvf fic#rotten apple#jake kiszka fic#jake kiszka x reader#jake kiszka fanfic#jake kiszka smut#jake kiszka series#jake kiszka gvf#jake kiszka blurb#jake kiszka fluff#jake kiszka angst#gvf angst#gvf imagine#gvf smut#gvf fluff#greta van fleet angst#greta van fleet fluff#greta van fleet fic#greta van fleet smut#builtbybrokenbells#greta van fic
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How about Ghost w/soldier!m!reader who is also a secret p★?
— 🥩
Ghost finds out you’re a P⭐️
18+
M4m
This is a great idea, I really like it. It is similar to my konig and ghost only fans one but I’ll try to make it different enough just for you!!! Mr…slab of meat? I’m not entirely sure what that means honestly, as of now I’ll take it as a calling card lol.
Might make a part 2 to this
Ever since you were young you realized you’d been blessed by god, you had a really big cock. The handful of girls you dated in high school were way to intimidated by it, and that left you really lonely, so you gravitated more to porn and sex toys. Eventually, you realized you’d be a really good porn star! But…you had other plans, you wanted to join the military, you always wanted to. To be a true American soldier, you loved it, but, you still couldn’t scratch that itch of showing off your cock to people, other than the hand, and mouthful of times you and your buddies in basic got curious. So you had the great idea to start making videos when you were on leave, you lived alone so it wasn’t a problem, you had plenty of toys you could fuck till they tore, and you even bought a few dildos, mainly for sucking, thanks to your buddies you realized you had an affinity for it.
After a few months of making videos when you were on leave, you actually started making money off it! And a lot of views, mainly guys. And as all this success happened, you also got promoted, you got moved to a special international squad, that’s where you met ghost. On your first day, fresh out the truck, you knew something was up.
Reader-“hello sir, I’m your new addition”
You say to ghost as you salute. He eyes you a bit weird, you assume maybe it’s because you’re American, or maybe he just didn’t like you
Ghost-“at ease. Do I…know you from somewhere? I feel like I recognize your voice”
He says with a suspicious look in his eyes, his mask covering the rest of his face.
Reader-“I-no sir, I don’t think so”
You were confused for a moment, then you remembered. You did a lot of dirty talk in those videos even though you never showed the top half of your face, and your voice is pretty distinct. Has he seen your videos…
Ghost-“well, anyway, you’re dismissed, go find your room”
He walks away, mumbling to himself. You shake off the awkwardness of your first interaction with him and head to your assigned room.
Later that day you decide to upload a picture to your account, still in your uniform, on the other side of base, ghost gets a notification on his phone. When he sees it he realizes his suspicions have been confirmed, you’re the amateur gay pornstar he watches…that’s gonna be an awkward conversation. He starts walking to where your room is.
It’s only been a little bit since you’ve arrived, you’ve just now finished unpacking when you hear a knock. You go over and open it
Reader-“oh, sir what-“
He covers your mouth and pushes you back into your room and locks your door
Ghost-“don’t be loud, I knew i recognized you. You just posted a picture didn’t you mate”
Your eyes widen and your face goes red, all while his hand is covering your mouth, you nod
Ghost-“thought so, well…I’m gonna take my hand off now”
He slowly takes his hand off your mouth, you can’t help but pant a bit, and a line of spit comes out of your mouth, sticking to his hand. He already turned you on. You wipe your mouth
Reader-“well uh, this is awkward”
You say nervously
Ghost-“a bit, yeah. But, I think this could be good”
He says with a hint of mischief in his voice.
Reader-“what?”
Ghost-“well, I’ve seen all your videos, hell I was one of your first followers. I know how good you can suck cock, and I kinda wanna see that ass of yours too”
He puts a hand on your shoulder and gently pushes you to your knees with absolutely no resistance from you, you’re already turned on, and now you really wanna suck some cock.
Reader-“I-yeah, I’d be ok with that”
Your face sits only inches away from his bulge, you can smell it through his pants, so manly, so intoxicating.
Ghost-“good”
He grabs the hem of his pants and yanks them down, letting his cock spring out, it was nice, really nice, and it smelled even better outside his pants. It was a bit smaller than yours but still, his balls looked so full, you just had to give it a taste. You lean in and start licking and sucking on his balls. Ghost lets out a deep moan and chuckle.
Ghost-“wow, that easy huh. I expected to have to blackmail you or something”
You pull your mouth off his balls
Reader-“na, me and a few buddies in basic got curious, I’m told I’m really good”
I wrap my lips around his throbbing tip and start gulping down his cock.
Ghost-“fuck mate they were right”
He grunts out as your mouth moves up and down the length of his shaft. You reach down and start rubbing yourself through your pants as your erection grows more and more.
Ghost-“pull your pants down, I wanna see it, I’ve seen it in the videos, I wanna see it in person”
You moan and nod as you keep sucking and pull down your pants enough for your cock to pop out, ghost whistles
Ghost-“bloody hell mate, it’s way bigger in person”
You chuckle a bit as you keep sucking him,youI start to stroke yourself
Ghost-“fuuuuck, this is so hot”
You chuckle and take his cock deeper into your mouth, making him growl as he feels his tip hit the back of your throat, he holds your head in place, making your throat spasm on his cock. As you start to gag and choke he pulls away.
Ghost-“bloody hell, how lucky am I to get a cock slut like you”
He chuckles and pulls you to your feet, you two now standing face to face, cock to cock. You both leak streams of pre cum as he reaches for your cock and starts to stroke it while he stares into your eyes.
Ghost-“I wanna feel this monster cum. You hear that soldier?”
You nod and moan as you feel his firm grip around your throbbing, hot length.
Ghost-“I didn’t hear you soldier”
Reader-“yes sir”
Ghost-“louder!”
Reader-“yes sir!”
You yell as he squeezes your cock, making your balls tighten while you finally spew out your scalding hot cum onto his hand, his arm, and even some on his abs.
Ghost-“wow, that was a huge load”
He says as he pulls his hand up to his face, pulls his mask up, and licks your cum off his hand with a smirk on his face.
Reader-“i-I’ve been pretty pent up lately”
Ghost chuckles
Ghost-“I can see that”
He pushes you back into your bed
Ghost-“now it’s my turn to-“
He gets cut off by his radio
Radio-“ghost? Where the hell are you? These damn recruits need some discipline, get you ass here”
Ghost groans and leans away from you, his cock still out and throbbing
Ghost-“I’m on my way, give me a few”
He looks back down at you with an angry look on his face before leaning down and shoving a finger into your ass.
Ghost-“next time I’m taking this hole, got it?”
Reader-“yes sir”
You say, still out of breath. Ghost chuckles and kisses you before pulling his finger out, pulling his pants up and leaving the room. He’ll be back, you know he will, and you can’t wait.
#cod x reader#smut#18+ only#simon ghost riley#m4m#bisexual#gay#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost x male reader#cod smut#cod fanfic#fanfic#ghost x you#ghost smut#ghost cod
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Boys Be Brave [EP.3] // Translation notes
Alright, I got prompted by @turndon100-blog @okiedokie2216 @lurkingshan and the ending of Ep.3 gave me hype boost so I'll try to write some clarification and translation for the scenes from my phone while I still remember everything xD Sorry if this is not going to be as well formatted as my other language posts tho...
Kiseob wants to prove to Jinwoo that he perfectly fits his entire "My ideal type" checklist and he lists all the things he nails. This might've been confusing to many in subs, but the thing is - 첫눈 (chot nun) in Korean can both mean "first sight" and "first snow". So Jinwoo immediately argues that Kiseob failed to achieve being perfect in all to-do points because Jinwoo hasn't fallen in love with him at first sight (as he mentions it in the beginning of the episode). But Kiseob confidently argues that no, there was no first snow this winter yet and shows the December article that says first snow is late this year and might only fall in January.
So technically Jinwoo can still fall in love with Kiseob at first snow and achieve perfect 10/10, therefore no failure yet! Poor Jinwoo can't argue with that logic... (That frustrated little jiggly stomping lmao)
This message also said that he better pay that credit back until Friday, otherwise there will be extra fee.
He said "Choi BalgEum. Look at me" (or focus on me) 🥺
눈치 없어 (nunchi opseo) is a phrase that literally means "have no sense" (it also was formed from 눈 - eyes, as I can guess), but it's used in the context of being perceptive (눈치 있어/nunchi isseo, having sense), feeling the subtext or nonverbal clues - and, well, the lack of it on the opposite, like being clueless.
So Balgeum actually means "Can't you see? Don't you understand the implications?"(of him holding Kiseob's hand) "I asked, don't you realize?" Stop following me around like a clueless fool" (he said that "having no sense" phrase 3 times in a row, who are you trying to fool here yourself, my guy lol)
Balgeum also curses twice at his piano not-friend-situationship. Here he says after asking to stop following him: "It's fucking embarrassing". Probably, the fact that he keeps showing up and asking to talk to him, but can also mean doing this while he obviously "has a boyfriend".
When they meet in evening, he also curses again "why the fuck do you keep appearing?" Balgeum is just definitely trying to hurt him as much as possible :(
This translation works but just to clarify - Kiseob says "Why do you often hide?". So he doesn't just ask why Jinwoo were still hiding under bed while he was talking to him, he was asking why Jinwoo was running away and hiding from him all the time (while he likes him).
"I hated you back then and I hate you now, that's why I run away."
And I just love the phrase 아니잖아... (anijanha) that he gets in response. Because it means "That's not true... (and you know it too)". There's literally a grammar point in Korean that lets you insist on something you know that the other person also should be aware of. So Balgeum angrily claims he ran away in the past and he runs away now because he hates Inho (I hope that's his name, forgive me if anything), and Inho counter argues that no, he doesn't hate him. And implies they both know it. That's why Balgeum resorts to less angry "Think whatever you want".
And the fact that even after this, Balgeum kept playing up his masquarade and saying he wants to vomit even thinking about that they had something, that he regrets it every day - no wonder Inho finally snaps and calls him an asshole/scum when he didn't use cursing before, unlike Balgeum, and so the i-dont-wanna-hurt-you-but-i-am-emotional "fight" begins.
But here we have a silver lining!
"- Meet me only three times... - I got it (what you want), so... (let go of me)"
알겠다 (al'getta) literally means "I know/I understand" but (going with my intuition) it's used naturally in cases that you understood the information you were given, received instructions and will follow them.
I'm not sure what Ep.4 will bring, but I won't be surprised if Balgeum and Inho actually will go to 3 dates because Balgeum sounded like he was giving in, after letting out his anger/fear/frustration/etc through wrestling with Inho. His final verdict for Inho pleading him to go on 3 dates with him is: "Let me go. I told you, I understand (your request and I will consider it most likely in a positive way)"
Here you go! These guys grow on me more and more with every episode. I am fascinated to see Jinwoo ditching his perfectly planned schedule, Kiseob finally refusing to follow where other people drag him, Inho fighting to make his love exist despite brutal rejections and punches, and Balgeum's carefully crafted defense walls breaking as he lets a glimmer of hope and love return to his life.
This show isn't deep at all, it's foolish and yet I'm starting to see layers and development and I'm intrigued where they all will go.
If you've got any other questions about this or previous episodes, let me know! (With timecodes preferrable)
#boys be brave#boys be brave comments#kbl#korean bl#dropthemeta#dropthemeta kbl#learning languages#korean language#translation notes#language details#lost in translation
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I should've made this in the first place to go as a reference to my post about Kabru rarely being shown eating (and when he does it, it isn't pleasurable) and linked it somewhere. I didn't feel like I needed to go through every example and based on people's tags I do think everyone gets it ... but I'm compiling this anyway because I find it really interesting from an artistic/writerly standpoint.
Like, Kabru obviously is eating in the abstract sense. But as I said, Kui almost never actually draws him putting food in his mouth. At first I assumed that she was avoiding it to save on space because he needs to be shown talking instead, but as I've looked back, I've noted that she doesn't usually shy away from giving characters speech bubbles even when they're chewing or they have utensils in their mouths. Unless they're Kabru.
This would realistically be the best time to actually show him eating, since it's a normal meat at a normal restaurant, but no. He doesn't actually put food in his mouth in this entire scene. Again: I'm sure he does eat this meal. My point is that I think it's a deliberate choice to keep that off-page, to contrast all the other characters who get to both visibly eat food and enjoy it.
As mentioned, Kabru is only shown drinking wine while his party eats the snacks in chapter 32. I think it's possible to infer that he doesn't actually eat any food here at all.
The harpy egg omelette bit barely counts as eating lmao we all saw him struggling to even swallow a bite down. Let's move on.
Quick sidebar:
Are we all going insane over this panel or is it just me? Okay continue.
Like with the omelette, it gets a checkmark for actually going into his mouth but no checkmark for enjoyment. He hates this. He's being spoon fed bad cake and patronized.
Next:
Literally the worst meal in Dungeon Meshi lmao.
Barometz:
He does actually eat this. Rare Kabru mastication panel, not clickbait. But it's kind of a sad moment when you remember that he was looking forward to a cultural dish of his mother's- literal comfort food from his childhood- and instead got the weird godless crab-meat-plant that is the barometz. This may be the only time Kabru goes looking for comfort, and he's pointedly denied it.
Next:
Yeah he isn't drawn eating during this entire scene either. Only drawn holding the food and his utensil.
As stated: still never shown eating. Deliberately shown getting Mithrun to eat instead. Kabru, the call is coming from inside the goddamn house.
Bavarois is next, and once again it gets a checkmark for actual on-page chewing but as we see, he still hates it and has to concentrate very hard and block out all thoughts of what he's doing in order to swallow it down without making a scene.
Okay. Faligon feast. Kabru does spend days eating for the sake of Laios and Falin! Yay! Caloric fucking intake! Clean plate club!
And yet.
Literally shown stopping before he can put the food in his mouth.
Mickbell is so real for this. No one needed to hear a lecture from Senshi more than Kabru.
Anyway. Given how surgically precise Kui is with everything else in this story, I just feel the choice to constantly show Kabru focusing on his worries during mealtimes, instead of drawing him just enjoying food, was purposeful.
#dungeonposting#Dungeon Meshi meta#Kabru#'Are you eating properly?' he literally isn't lmfao everything about Kabru is so bleak#musings with Dea#no one has doubted me or anything I just felt the need to have a visual reference#like it isn't just a few instances it's every single time
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Please please read this and give it some love but I had an inkling of this feeling but never mentioned it cause I thought it was absurd.
Basically its a tweet of a reddit post (inception ik) basically of how Tim is basically rewriting the characters back to the way they were.
More below 👇🏾
Everyone's been mentioning how the characters have been more in character and the actors are happy and that makes sense.
He's been making them more in character than they ever were.
And with the Buddie situation (yes not everything is about them but i am a buddie fan who happened to find and grow to love this show because of it) it makes the most sense.
Now that Oliver mentioned the love story and everyone assumed it was the shooting and being in live it made the most sense.
Who else was he going to be falling in love woth at the time? It surely wasn't Taylor. Their romantic relationship was always doomed to fail and it was a great friendship they had (ehhh sideye for Bobby situation and Jonah eventually) that lasted if they weren't too persnally involved in each others lives.
She'd have been a perfect friend for him to gossip about the drama at the 118 (not work cause you know she'd make a story). That relationship wasn't going to work. He's too honest and she's too opportunisic.
If it hadn't been Jonah it'd be something else and he'd feel the same sense of betrayal (also Buck kissing Lucy was betrayal but that also felt a lil like assult cause she got him reallllly drunk and if the roles were reversed people wouldn't be that enthusiastic about it).
The only other love story that's been written logically as a will they won't they tragic and emotionally complex story is Buck and Eddie's.
Season 2 he replaced his love intrest! Like come on!
But in all seriousness, the Ana breakup and ll the vague dollow your heart is basically being rehashed.
I remember someone mentioning that Marisol is just another Ana (whoever you are if you see this send me hit I'll put it in here) and that's actually true.
Yay Marisol no last name haters your time has arrived cause it's official she's done!
There's no worry because we're getting a conclusion on the fact that was supposed to happen years ago.
She's not a permanent structure.
This storyline can go two ways.
One Buddie confirmed season 8.
Or two, Eddie realizes what his family could look like and its a single parent home with a support system from work (and Buck but we're gonna just gloss over that for now).
Meta linked above I just talked about Eddie and its coming to fruition (hire me abc im getting better at screenwriting!).
For the first one it's juicy storytelling.
For the other it makes sense as development for Eddie becoming comfortable with himself apart from his identity as a husband/widower, son, Catholic, and father.
He'll learn to bebhimself which he hadn't had the opportunity to do as he had fell into adulthood with his kid and then added on having a child with a disability that needs a lot of monetary support he ended up losing the chance to figure out who he is without all of that.
Even if it's not romantic (😔) it's great for him to realize he doesn't really need to be with anyone or fulfill a role he's not ready or willing to fill due to duty.
He can just be a father and work it iut that way.
Chris only wants his dad happy and I sense he knows his dad isn't happy at times or even worse he's not happy but is pretending so that his dad can be happy as he feels he has to give him that space/approval.
Chris is getting a storyline and he's always been observant so he'll most likely either explode in his feelings and tell his dad or tell him in a misunderstanding (he is getting to be a moody teen after all it's not going to be an adult reaction).
He's been close to death, heard his dad lose it and loat his mom. He's more mature than people give him credit for but the story hadn't included him much recently so we'll just have to see.
#buddie#evan buckley#911 abc#eddie diaz#911 fox#tv shows#oliver stark#ryan guzman#hen wilson#bobby nash#118 firefam#eddie diaz focused#eddie diaz meta#911 meta#christopher diaz
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Updated Trailer Analysis (Pt.3)
Okay, so I was watching Swerve's break down video on yt and he's said a couple of things that's given me ideas. I was also rereading through my OG analysis and there were so many grammar/spelling mistakes, holy shit.
One thing he mentioned is that Brooklynn's shirt says "silent dreams" on it and that if something in the show is written in English, then it's important. Leaning into this and my theory that I mentioned in my OG analysis that the camp fam went to Brooklynn's place to find more information surrounding what she was looking into, it seems like the shirt is a band t-shirt of some sort. Now, remember how in S5 of CC they had the scene where they had to guess Kash's password? What if we have some smth similar like that going on where the campers have to guess Brooklynn's password and then one of them remembers that, "Oh! She likes this band/singer/whatever. In the video she sent, she was wearing their shirt." Obviously this is a reach, my mind is just reeling with ideas bc CT is all I can think of right now. I wonder if she's still a fan of Ester Stone, though.
There was a post that was asking if we think that the camp fam already knows about Brooklynn's death or if Ben has to tell everyone and I'm still conflicted. When rewatching the trailer, Ben and Darius are acting as if Darius already knows about B's death and obviously Ben could have broken the news earlier in that scene, but stay with me as I lean into the alternative option that they already knew she was dead for a decent time prior to this. What if Brooklynn's death is sort of wider known given her previous fame and so all of the characters already know. Darius finds this out and obviously feels guilty (which is shown in the trailer) so he kind of isolates himself into that cabin in the middle of the woods. I was thinking that in the last ep. of CC, Darius seemed non-reclusive as he was doing Ted Talks and replying to comments so there has to have been a shift between now and then that caused him to go down this path. Maybe it was something else or maybe it was just resurfacing trauma but what if B's death was the catalyst to Darius' current lifestyle? Ben then says, "that's why I'm here," in response to Darius's blame. Maybe instead of delivering the news of B's death which Darius already knows, he came to tell him about the circumstances surrounding it, and also so Darius wouldn't feel as guilty. This is just a silly little theory that popped into my mind, do I actually think this is true? Not really, but it's fun to speculate.
In my og analysis I completely skipped over the fact that there is a dinosaur standing in the background which I find interesting. Don't really have much to say about it though.
I sort of mentioned this already, but Yaz's face is extremely close up when her first clip comes on, especially compared to Sammy and Kenji who have full backgrounds going on. This could possibly mean that whatever's happening in that scene, they want to conceal. One small idea that I had is that in the show it's going to be like one of those scenes where you have a close up of the character like really nervous about something and being dramatic and then it zooms out and whatever it is is much smaller than you thought it'd be.
I also originally mentioned that the truck driving up to Sammy's farm could be the people who's hunting them but could it be maybe Yaz? Or Kenji? Idk.
#i'm just making shit up#can you tell I'm desparate?#jwct trailer#jwct spoilers#jwct analysis#jwct#jwcc#jurassic world chaos theory#jurassic world camp cretaceous
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Dracula Daily - May 3: Chicken Paprikash!
Welcome boils and ghouls to another year of Dracula Daily. It is the 3rd of May, and as our dear friend Jonathan treks his way across Central Europe, bound for ominous castle of Count Dracula, we encounter the first real star of this most foundational gothic novel: a spicy chicken dish fixed up with paprika. That's right, everyone! It's time for Chicken Paprikash!
Earlier this week, most of you (or at least I'm assuming most of you, because holy cow did a lot of y'all pile in after I posted it) will recall my guide to gathering the ingredients for this most essential of Dracula Daily Dinners. Tonight, we will discuss it's preparation, and whether or not the deviations I have made from the previous cycles rendition will pay off or not. So, if you've got those pots and pans ready, let's go!
Lets begin with the equipment you'll need for preparing Chicken Paprikash.
All the usual suspects are here. Knives, cutting board, some whisks and woodem spoons, a couple of bowls for ingredients. But the real stars of this show are going to be a large dutch oven, and a large building pot. Examples of these can be see in the photo above.
Once you have all your equipment ready, it's time to move on to the most annoying part of every dinner. It's time for...
Part One: Mise En Place
Cooking can be hard, or cooking can be easy. It all depends on how well prepared you are. If you have everything you need ready beforehand, actually cooking the meal can be a breeze. Sadly, this process will usually take up most of the time you spend making dinner. Is it worth the peace of mind later on? Probably, but I've never passed up a chance to gripe.
So, what all must we prepare for our Chicken Paprikash. Let's make a list:
Roughly 2 Pounds of Chicken Thights (salted preferably 1-4 hours beforehand)
2 Cups of Chicken Broth (or Stock)
2 Medium Yellow Onions (Chopped or Diced, to your preference)
2 Roma Tomatoes (Diced this time, with their seeds removed)
2 Hungarian Wax Peppers (Diced as well, be sure to remove those seeds unless you want to go for a ride like dear Jonathan)
2 Cloves of Garlic (Minced) (Don't let your desire to protect yourself from the undead lead you to add more, garlic is one of those flavors that can radically alter a dish in only small quantities)
About half a stick of butter (Though for this task you could substitute with some kind of oil or lard. Lard will make this dish even more rich, but butter is the easier option.)
3/4 Cup of Full Fat Sour Cream
1/4 Cup of Heavy Whipping Cream (make sure to shake your carton beforehand, this stuff gets clumpy if it's left undisturbed)
3 Tablespoons of All Purpose Flour
4 Tablespoons of Sweet Hungarian Paprika + 1 Tablespoon of Hot Hungarian Paprika (Stirred together for ease later on)
Salt + Pepper (To your liking)
1 Bag of Spaetzle
With all this completed, it's time to get started in earnest
Part Two - Get Cooking
Alright, with all our ingredients in hand, its finally time to start cooking.
The very first thing we're going to do is brown our chicken thighs. Set your dutch oven over a large burner, and get the heat up high. When ready, turn the heat down to medium or medium-high. This change is important, unless you want to smoke out your kitchen. Remember, smoky paprika is great, but nobody likes smoky dry wall.
Once you've prepared your pot, and lightly brushed your thighs with a high heat cooking oil (I prefer avocado) begin to brown them. Lay your thighs skin-side down for 45 seconds to 1 minute. Any longer than this risks burning the skin. Repeat in batches until all your chicken thighs have a nice crispy exterior.
(Sadly, this is where the demonstration photos stop. Turns out, a breezier cooking schedule doesn't leave much time for snappy pictures.)
Once you've brown your thighs, remove them and set them aside. Now, it's time for the real corner stones of this dish. Take that half a stick of butter you have sitting around, and give it a good swirl around the bottom of the Dutch oven. As the butter melts (this will be very quick, so you must act accordingly) do everything you can to scrape up the delicious fond left over from browning your chicken. This residue will add flavor to our dish.
The moment your butter has fully liquified, and coated the whole bottom of your dutch oven, add in your onions. These we will stur around and fry until they are a nice golden brown. You can use this time as well to keep scraping up that fond on the bottom of the pot. Make sure to keep the heat on medium throughout.
Once your onions are nice golden brown, add your tomatoes and hungarian wax peppers. Stir these around with the onions and allow to cook for 2-3 minutes. When you begin to approach the last 45-30 seconds, add in your garlic, and cook until fragrant, but not a moment longer.
This next step is crucial. Remove your dutch oven from the heated burner, and allow to cool for roughly 3 minutes. Paprika is something of a tender spice, and it scorches very easily when heat is applied to it. Once the pot is no longer smoking hot, stir in the combined Paprika, and give it a good mix around all the ingredients in the pot. When you have finished, return the dutch oven to the heated burner.
Return your chicken thighs to the pot, and pour in the 2 cups of chicken broth. The thighs should not be entirely covered, but mostly. Bring the pot to a boil, and once boiling, cover, reduce the heat to medium-low, and allow to simmer for a little under an hour, about 40 minutes.
Now, while this is happening, we will prepare our dairy thickener. In a bowl, mix the sour cream, heavy whipping cream, and flower. I prefer to use a tiny whisk for this task, as it does a very good job of moving through every part of the mixture, and combating any clumps from forming. A normal whisk should still work.
While you wait, you're going to pour about a quart of water into that steel pot, and bring to a boil. About 28 minutes from the completion of the paprikash, stir in your spaetzle to the boiling water. Allow to sit, undisturbed for roughly half an hour.
Once the 40 minutes are up, once again remove your chicken from the pot, and remove the dutch oven from the heat. Allow to cool once more, which will prevent your dairy mixture from curdling. Once cool, mix in the cream. Return the chicken to the Dutch oven, place the cover back on, and allow to heat through. About another 5-10 minutes.
And just like that, we're done! Now, let's find out how we did, shall we?
Part Three - Paprikash
This is how mine turned out. And I'm happy to report that my experimentation payed off! The heat really comes through this time, creating that good warming feeling you should get from chicken paprikash. The paprika is warm and smoky, and the chicken is tender and delicious. I'd never had spaetzel before, but I really liked it. It's still not as spicy as our good friend Jonathan described, but I think it's time that I stop differing to the opinions of a 22 year-old English orphan when it comes to any kind of cuisine.
The August Kessler Spatburgunder (Pinot Noir) proved to be an excellent pairing. The wine possesses a splendid earthiness, and it makes a beautiful partner for that smoky paprika flavor.
Well, that about does it for this year's Chicken Paprikash. Did you make Paprikash this year? How did it turn out? Anyway, I'll be making a dedicated effort to make more conversational posts with the program this year, and I cannot wait to discover what rocks we'll turn over this time around.
Join me on Sunday when we'll be diving into Tokaji, the Hungarian desert wine Dracula serves to Jonathan Harker at the end of his, if I may, strange journey.
Happy Dracula Daily, Everyone!
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Yet Another Fandom PSA - tagging ships
Hi, it's me again.
Today I come with a small (ish?) pet peeve regarding proper tagging - tagging ships.
(⬆ This is where the magic happens)
What should you tag in "Relationships"?
Tag only the main relationship(s) that show up in the story. The relationship the fic is really about. Is about siblings? Is about a romantic relationship? Is about a platonic ship? Tag that, and only that.
Note:
For Romantic relationship, use Character A/Character B.
For Gen and Platonic relationships, use Character A & Character B
Don't tag relationships that are not relevant, or appear as background.
That includes, secondary ships that develop in the background or are established "off-screen" and don't actually have any screen time in the fic.
What if I want to warn/describe a ship that does show up anyway?
You can tag them as background in Additional Tags, adding some information that nuance how they show up if you want. For example, if it's a mention, or past relationship or if it's a temporary pairing but not the endgame.
eg. "Background Character A/Character B" or "Minor Character A/Character B" or "Mentions of Character A/Character B" or "Past Character A/Character B"
You can also use the Summary to specify and give context in what manner these relationships show up.
Why would I care? Is just a tag.
There are many reasons why tagging relationships properly is beneficial for the fandom as a whole.
First of all, keeps your tags clean and simple. It is easier for people browsing the Archive to know at a glance what the fic is about if your tags give the right amount of information and nothing more.
Second, it makes very difficult to filter if you like a ship that's not as popular as others. It can get very frustrating expecting your favorite ship to appear only to get to chapter 13 and neither of your ship shows up.
Third, the "otp:true" trick can only do so much.
If this is the first time you hear about "otp:true", it is a filtering trick that will automatically filter out all fics that have more than 1 "/" ship tagged in Relationship, leaving only the ones that have just the main ship tagged.
ID has been added to the pictures as ALT text.
For more info, you can check out AO3 official Tagging FAQs and this helpful guide: "The Fanfic Author's Guide to Metatext" (This is the chapter about relationship tagging)
Here's more filtering tricks for AO3
As always this post is not meant to shame if you do or have done this. I have done this too.
I felt so bad when someone approached me and said "hey, your crossover fic with this ship is the number 1 fic by kudos when you search for one of the main fandom's small ship" and honestly? wake up call.
So there's that!
Remember to be kind and happy fandom! 🥰✨
#fandom PSA#PSA#tagging ships in AO3#AO3#Archive of Our Own#i know im not the only one who has done these i know#if you have more information to share please feel free :)#this comes after a friend ranted to me about this topic and uggghhhh please
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hi im not the hate anon but um im not sure what your main is ? but i wanted to ask how a "non disordered" system would work , especially while still being traumagenic ? /genq
im not trying to be rude or start shit im just genuinely trying to understand 😭
In our pinned there's two vlogs we tagged as "we follow from". The whisper-overseer is our go-to, the other one is for mogai related stuff, so it isn't active. I also am going to present some links which lead to reblogs on my main.
Anyway, back to business. I am warning that I struggle with words in general and I am pretty sick, so if there are typos or any other mistakes - that's normal. Excuse me while i type every way of being a system on general. I touch all parts just to make sure.
First, I'll present the fact that recent diagnostic documentation says that having multiple personality states is not a red flag of OSDDID, as it can present itself in a spiritual practice as example. This post (link) has resources that touches non-OSDDID plurality, although they can be outdated.
Second, disorders often have symptoms similar to the other. Psychosis ans Shizo-spec can manifest it's symptoms as a plural system, be it delusions (that may or may not end up being or becoming a fact) and hallucinations. Voice hallucinations can gain sentience and act as separate, rendering a person as a system (of course if they call themselves that). BPD also brings a whole lot of dissociation and identity disturbance similar to OSDDID, and even a pinch of psychosis. Not to mention a lot of disorders create a separation between a body and a mind, which can in general a form of dissociative division too. Remember how alters often split for a reason? There a consciousness can create a new identity specifically for masking. And some of them can even take a lot of them, as in NPD in search for attention. These are just adaptive ways, some of these disorders ARE traumagenic, so the plurality caused by them can also be.
Also, there's spirituality. A lot of non-Christian cultures have a belief about consciousness and identity being more than one, sometimes even infinite. Theres a Post (link) made by a DID system that discusses it and the problems with "part" language too. But from my perspective - I am Heathen, a Norse Heather to be exact. In practice in witchcraft people sometimes create their own spirit servants for specific tasks, ask spirits for assistance and so on and so forth, for example for coping too. These spirits can gain sentience and control over time. In Norse spirituality even every human has several parts, and, as we see in Odin and his ravens - an Astral form, at least one of them can even show itself in several distinct and divided parts.
Also, it just baffles me, how we can identify as animals and even objects and concepts and not believe in endogenic plurality? Alterhumanity in general encompasses both, and we all agree that identifying as a dog or a zombie can have a disordered origin (delusions for example), but it doesn't have to be. If our brain can create a new consciousness by itself, why can't we make one by ourselves? It doesn't have to be intense to the point of harmful dissociation. I was friends with THREE created systems, where two were intentional and one accidental due to roleplaying. What matters is that it wasn't something they could control after they gained a headmate or so. If they're roleplaying or faked, they would know, they would be able to control it, but they couldn't.
OSDDID doesn't have a copiright claim on plurality. Tulpamancy, Soulbonding and Daemonism all been there before, and they are types of plural experience too. And creators often claim, non-ironically, that they actually hear their characters. Something we shouldn't forget about. Roleplay for example can be a form of escapism until you realize that you can't control it.
And the last one - rqs are the bad apple of the whole community. They claim to have something they don't, when people without a disorder, be they endogenic or not, specifically say that they don't have OSDDID. Something we had to point out at numerous times. I am not claiming to have a serious disorder with traits such as amnesia and dissociation, I am claiming to have several people in our head, with which we can communicate and can't control. Even if I have OSDDID it changes only the fact of our symptoms, not the fact that we have headmates. Remember, headmates are only one, even if important, trait required for OSDDID diagnosis. It classified as a dissociative disorder, not a multiple identity disorder, and not a traumagenic disorder either.
Who I am to judge how people experience life? I had friends disordered and not. After you talk to people you realize that it doesn't matter. We're all quite similar anyway.
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I've been through a lot of breakups in my life. This isn't shocking given I am innately unloveable and quite frankly a lot to deal with. Probably the closest I ever got to warm feelings post break up was, "I love you but I am exhausted". Totally fair, I can barely handle me most days and I don't have a choice in the matter, so I get how it's too much for someone else. I remember a fight with that ex and at some point me uttering the phrase, "Oh, like it's my fault your friends suck". Guys, I am here to tell you that did not de-escalate the situation like you might expect. No one likes it when you're absolutely right in an argument. Anyway, I think about these things sometimes because I think we all often try to look for meaning in things that don't necessarily inherently have it. That's because we kind of need major events to be about us because the other option is soul crushing. Like, if my heart is ripped out and torn in two I sure would like to think it's about me rather than not actually about me at all and instead I am just an incidental casualty because not only is life cruel and random I am not that important. I mean, look, Hamlet was miserable but at least they named the play after him, we'd all rather be the star than the attending lord who exists to swell the progress of a scene or two. Those guys got their heads cut off and didn't get their own play for centuries.
My therapist says dwelling on this stuff isn't great for me but I always feel like she's being kind of smug, like she's so fucking smart. You're not the only analyst in the room, lady, I went to college too but I don't sit in an office analyzing poetry at people to show off that fact, even though I once wrote about the Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock and my teacher not only told me how good it was but that I had a real 'knack' for analyzing poetry and she would really like to help me explore that more if I wanted. And while I am at it an insecure person would read the knack in quotes and think the whole thing was sarcastic but I know it was because she didn't believe in knacks but through hard work and didn't want to diminish that. Tricks on her, I wrote that paper in one sitting the night before because I do have a knack for using a lot of words to get to something. It really can pull the wool over someone's eyes for a few semesters but at the end of the day eventually runs thin and people tire of your charm, thus the many break ups. Which brings us full circle and that's how you do this nonsense, you fill up a lot of space sort of talking about nothing but if you can turn a phrase with a little skill people will be distracted long enough and I am bringing that up today because I don't actually have anything new to say about Sydney Sweeney but that's the whole point, do I ever really? No, not really but this is how you drag all that out and fill a page and she has me thinking about all this because I am thinking about someone who doesn't like her very much but used to like me and now probably has forgotten I existed. Which is vague but that's how it works sometimes, but I promise you that's a second full circle. They're not concentric, the both intersect at the start. Today I want to fuck Sydney Sweeney.
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potential jatp songs that would have killed me dead if they existed:
- legends (from their “legends on three” and “you guys were gonna be legends”)
- dahlia
- now or never (reprise)
- no regrets
- unsaid emily (performed in front of a crowd)
- this side of hollywood (countering caleb’s song ofc)
- SPEAKING OF i definitely think that if we got to see julie and caleb duke it out it would be through like a music battle which. HELL YEAH
- better together
- home is where my horse is (but it’s reggie being SAD because he doesn’t have a home and CANONICALLY has no attachment to his own life. baby boy who hurt you i need to kill them)
- my name is luke (steal it back from mf BOBBY)
- perfect harmony (PERFORMANCE VERSION)
- wake up (reprise)
#i remembered that i can post about this show actually#since i hardly ever talk to the people i was planning on showing it to nowadays#julie and the phantoms#jatp#save jatp#save julie and the phantoms
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#genuinely curious how people feel about this#I do it and I neither care if Im being annoying nor do I think I am#the ppl who followed me for my art are not going to get annoyed at me for showing them my art#though sometimes i get worried for like 1 millisecond if i come across as pushy then i remember this is the art website abd i stop caring#polls#art#can I tag this as that even if there's no actual art in the post#well. it IS about art
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a compilation of recent PLE:AD AU-related drawings. sorted by oldest to latest
#ple:ad au#object show au#object show community#hfjone#bfdi#bfb#inanimate insanity#ava ledger#airy hfjone#david bfdi#dora bfdi#golf ball bfdi#basketball bfdi#test tube ii#i was actually planning on putting the first 2 images in it's own post but#i dunno i think bundling everything recent into one post would be better i guess#also yes i KNOW i forgot the 'b' in 'remember' if ur even gonna mention it...grr...#also i still need to figure out what David & Dora are gonna look like in PLE:AD AU#y'know(rhetorical) with the whole humanization logic in this AU & such#i had just drawn the last image right now. i think the background fade makes it look pretty cool#also !! if you have any questions for more context about any of the drawings u can ask me !! i will do the answering
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you know it's bad when i read svsss and tgcf, stories about just two guys falling in love and getting together, and think, "god i wish i were in between them."
gay little domestic cottage core life with binghe and qingqiu? please and thank you. being sandwiched by hua cheng and xie lian, two pretty men who are hundreds of years old? i am blushing, kicking my feet and giggling
and again, it's not even that i would want only one of them. like in both of the relationships, the two love each other too much to the point it'd feel wrong if they were separated! it wouldn't feel complete, so you gotta be with both of them!
but that's the thing; i just?? i feel so incredibly guilty whenever i think about being loved by these mxtx couples??? like it's so stupid but i feel like i'm intruding in on something and it's like, everyone else seems to just want them together only, not wanna be with them. like it's fuckin taboo or whatever
i feel like with any other character from any other media it'd be fine to simp for and write/read x readers of them, but when it comes to these books, it's off limits! no way, what are you, crazy? yes, yes i'm unhinged and desperately want their love and affection simultaneously. i want to be in a happy little poly relationship with these overpowered beautiful men with long hair.
i can't be the only guy or whoever to feel this way?? to wanna be kissed by these characters? sandwiched?? i have two hands for christ sake and they all look so happy together and im just like "lord i wanna be with them so much". someone tell me i'm not alone cmon <\3
#okay i havent read mdzs yet but i'll probably feel the same way#god i just wanna be in between shen qingqiu and binghe or hua cheng and xie lian please please#im sad im queer and im ready for a gay poly relationship with these mfs#i love them all#i remember seeing some post where it was like 'hua cheng x fem reader headcanons'#and i was like 'huh thats interesting. not fem but i'll check it out bc ive never rlly seen anything like that'#and then it was like 'he'd leave you for xie lian' and it was fucking hilarious actually#but then i saw the comments on that post and they were all like 'omg i was about to unfollow and block you' 'thank god' etc#and i was just like#'damn?? do people really not like this type of stuff when it comes to danmei novels or smth?'#i don't know if it was just bc it said fem reader or bc yk it's danmei and hua cheng and xie lian are very much in love and happy#but it lowkey kinda got me self conscious lmao and i was hella feeling bad#also no hate to that poster or those commenters im just a lonely queer man#'he would leave you for xie lian' was fucking brutal though i laughed my ass off at thag KAHSNZJ#please i swear i wont stand out too much i can fit in i have long luxurious hair too let me show you my hair care routine guys </3#svsss#mxtx svsss#luo binghe#bingqiu#tgcf#heavens official blessing#mxtx tgcf#mxtx novels#mxtx characters#hua cheng#xie lian#hualian#shen qingqiu#the scum villain's self saving system
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