#i regret not adding her sooner I was going to but rejected the idea but now she’s here looking beautiful as always | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fanmoose12 · 3 years

Text

the devil you know

Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Moblit Berner, Zeke Yeagar, Armin Arlert

Genres: Action / Drama

Summary: Can you still miss a person, if everything you knew about them was a lie?

Сhapter 4/?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Every single night, she was tormented by the same nightmare. Every single night, the same memory replayed behind her closed eyelids. She saw that fateful night, the night when she had decided she couldn’t keep pretending anymore.

It was the night before the great battle, and, as always, Levi fell asleep in her bed, curled around her body, holding on to her almost desperately, as though he was afraid that should he let go even for a second, she’d vanish.

Levi thought that his embrace could keep her with him. Hange wished for it to be the truth.

Getting out of the circle of his arms was a considerable effort, he held her too close, too tight, and Hange… Hange didn’t want to leave that sweet embrace. Levi was wrapped around her like a vice, he was a poison ivy that had its twigs engraved so deep it reached to the very depths of her heart.

Hange had to cut it out, to cut him out. And, by gods, was it an unwanted progress.

But after a few moments of quiet struggling, of silent curses and pants, she slipped out from his embrace and their bed. That small victory was well-earned, but not enjoyed. Hange felt her heart break the moment Levi’s arms were no longer around her. Without him, she felt so cold. With every inch she put between them, the ice that began covering her heart continued growing.

Next, she packed her scarce belongings. She wanted to take more, she couldn’t do it. Everything she’d take back home – her uniform with Wings of Freedom splayed proudly on the back, her heavy notebooks with dozens of notes and sketches done by her beloved assistant, that book Erwin had once given her, the scarf Mike had knitted for her, the flower Levi had gifted her, the very same one she treasured just dearly as the memory of him confessing after the gift had been presented, - all of it was going to be looked at and thoroughly analyzed. By her Marleyan comrades, friends and possible prosecutors.

She could take nothing that could be conceived as dubious, but that jacket, the one that was shared by both of them and still held his scent and warmth— she wasn’t strong enough to leave it behind.

So she put it on, praying for it to give her strength.

A long way home was awaiting her.

And Hange couldn’t leave without giving him, the one man she truly loved, a goodbye kiss.

“I know you won’t,” she whispered against his brow, her fingers caressing his hair with a feather light touch, “but please try to forgive me. It was out of my control, Levi.”

It was his fault too. When Levi came, the ground had been kicked from under her feet. And a simple mission turned into a tragedy.

When she gathered enough strength to leave the room, the hallway was empty. Hange knew it would be, she was familiar with the workings of Survey Corps like the back of her hand. She strolled through the well-known hallways without fear, trailing her hand along the walls.

The Military Headquarters back at Liberio was better built than this building. Even Warriors’ barracks, despite being designed to hold Eldians, were built so much better. Those buildings were sturdier, more technologically equipped, much more comfortable.

But, god damn it, she was going to miss Survey Corps’ headquarters, this shitty building that was situated in the middle of nowhere.

Compared to Marley, everything in Paradise was ancient, outdated, useless. But it didn’t stop her from loving that fucked up little island. It didn’t stop her from loving people that were living there, despite them being branded as monsters by her nation.

She turned the corner, took the stairs, and, at the end of it, just near the exit Hange saw a shadow.

She meant to duck behind the corner, to run and hide, but the form of that shadow was all too familiar, and she was just as familiar to that shadow. Hange had no choice but to stop and surrender to another cruel twist of fate.

“Squad Leader!” Moblit ran up to her, smiling and endearing as always.

Fucking hell, and Hange thought that saying goodbye to Levi would be the hardest task. However, Levi, at least, hadn’t been awake.

“Are you nervous, as well?" he asked, curiously peering into her eyes. Was she nervous? That was an understatement. "Personally, I can’t sleep! I’ve been thinking and thinking, and I even wrote a letter to my Momma, do you remember her?”

Of course, Hange remembered Moblit’s Momma, the soft and caring Mrs. Berner, a far kinder woman than Hange’s Momma was.

“I told her about our mission and how proud I am for participating in it. And… I added a second part, the one that would be sent in case…”

“No.” Hange shook her head resolutely, her hands clenching into fists. No, no, no, she refused to even entertain that foul idea. Impulsively, she took a step forward, circling her arms around her sweet assistant. “No, Moblit,” she repeated, voice muffled by his shirt. If he heard the quiet sniffling, Hange didn’t care. Moblit never minded her eccentricities. “You will survive. You will survive this shit and the next one you will undoubtedly face. You will make your Momma and everyone else around you proud.” You will make me proud. “And you will leave a glorious, happy and long life. You promise me?”

“Squad Leader…”

“Promise me!” she demanded, bordering on desperation.

In that moment, the dream always divided from reality.

In reality, Hange waited until he had given her a promise, and then feigned exhaustion, leaving Moblit to use another exit. But in a dream, Moblit made her stay, coercing her to have a cup of tea with him. And in the candle-light lit mass hall, they met Erwin, then Levi joined their impromptu party, gluing himself to her side and blinking sleepily at everyone who had gathered.

In a dream, Hange never left. She stayed under Moblit’s care, was guided by Erwin’s wisdom, was surrounded by Levi’s love.

And that’s why that dream was a cruel, excruciating nightmare. It showed her things that could never be. It showed her the future she desperately wanted to come true. Escaping from the clutches of that fantasy was hard, painful. And if that was complicated….

Well, waking up in that bed was pure agony.

Every single morning, Hange woke up lost and disoriented, and had to spend a few long moments, making sense of it all.

Her first instinct was to stretch her arms, to yawn and reach out – to warmth and comfort, to loving embrace, husky voice and reluctant kiss. To him. To everything she had lost. To everything she never actually had.

But she was alone in that bed.

There was no Levi, lying next to her, complaining about her morning breath. There was no Squad Leader Hange, no four-eyes , who would smile and start singing in Levi’s ear.

There was only she, a broken, empty shell of a person.

A Marleyan who fell for an Eldian. A war chief that devised weapons for her enemies. A fool with twisted loyalties and convoluted goals.

She betrayed her homeland, she didn’t have a home.

She was abandoned by her fellow countrymen, was rejected by the people closest to her.

But, strangely, as pathetic as she was, as miserable and wretched, she was not alone. Even in her sorry state, despite her vile betrayal, she still had a friend.

He was by all means her enemy, a monster and a devil, and yet he saved her life more times than she could count.

Even now, when her lies had been discovered and her villainy uncovered, he remained by her side, continued to care for her.

If all Eldians were truly as monstrous as she had been told since her birth, then how to make sense if the existence of one extremely brave, inexplicably kind Moblit Berner? Hange, as genius as she was, couldn’t understand him, couldn’t explain why someone as good and bright as him had decided to stick with her.

“Good morning!” he walked into her room with a smile, carrying her breakfast on a plate.

He had been repeating the exact same routine every day for the past month. He had been doing this ever since Erwin had appointed him as her assistant.

In that room, that bed, nostalgia, memories and regrets were impossible to escape.

Hange tried telling Moblit that he didn’t have to this, didn't have to care for her as though she was still his comrade. But Moblit was relentless. And she was too lonely and miserable to cut off the only kind soul that remained loyal to her.

“I managed to get your favorite biscuits this morning,” he continued, moving around the room to put the cutlery down on a table and open the curtains to let the sunshine in. “Almost got in a fight with Sasha because of it.”

Despite herself, Hange snickered. Moblit always had that kind of an effect on her. He possessed the uncanny ability to cheer her up with a simple, but heartfelt and caring gesture.

There was only one other person who was better at it than him. But after everything that happened between them… the hell would freeze sooner than she would hear praise and a comforting word from him.

Waving those sullen thoughts away, Hange stretched her arms and rose from the bed. She followed the sweet aroma of biscuits to the table Moblit had set for her.

“Any updates on Gabi and Falco?”

That was the first question she asked every morning. And every morning, Moblit gave her the same disappointing answer.

“I’m sorry,” he ducked his head solemnly. “We didn’t manage to locate them yet.

Hange expected as much. And yet, the lack of news still troubled her. Where were fierce Gabi and adorable Falco? Were they—

She shook her head, pressing lips together. Of course, they were still alive. They were candidates, the best of all best. Mentally repeating that mantra a couple of times, she forced her mind flow into different direction.

“What’s our plan for today?” she asked through a mouthful of biscuits. “Are we going to work on a new uniform again?”

Working on that project was fun. Having Mobllit as her assistant once again was fun. In the moments, when her brain was too occupied with an idea, she could almost pretend that everything was normal. That she was Squad Leader Hange, working with Executive Officer Moblit on a new project. Sometimes, Hange got so lost in that little game inside her head, she even expected for the door to burst open to let a grumpy Captain inside. But, of course, that couldn't happen.

These distant memories, they were comforting. They reminded her of the rare times in her life when she was truly happy. But the past... was in the past.

“Eh, you see…” Moblit raised a hand to his head, scratching the back of it with an apologizing smile. “Armin asked me to look into something. I was actually wondering if you would like to accompany me. I bet you’re getting sick of spending days in these four walls.”

She was starting to feel like a wilting flower, that was true. It would have been nice to go outside. However…

“Am I even allowed to leave this room?”

Moblit winced. “I’m not really sure about it… But I was assigned to look after you. I think it wouldn’t hurt if you go with me. Besides…” he sat on the chair next to her, looking at her almost pleadingly. Oh, Moblit and his perfect puppy eyes, Hange could never resist them. “I’d like to have your company. And, perhaps, your advice as well…”

“Advice?” Hange frowned. “On what? What is your task about exactly?”

“Don’t know if I can tell you,” nevertheless, Moblit leaned in, lowering his voice to a whisper. “But they found out that one of the volunteers, Yelena, has been conspiring with Eren. They asked me to interrogate the other volunteer.”

“Oh?” that sounded both ominous and intriguing. Hange curled her lips into a grin and raised an eyebrow. “You want me to use my interrogating skills?”

“No!” paling slightly, Moblit frantically lifted his hands, shaking them from side to side. “No reaping out nails, please! No threats of bloody violence! Just… talk with him.”

She almost forgot how easy it was to tease and embarrass Moblit. Oh, how Hange missed him.

“Alright, I’ll do my best to control the violent urges,” she winked at him, laughing at his scandalous face. “And thank you for inviting me. It’s been ages since I saw the world outside that room.”

“There is another thing I have to ask of you...” Moblit cast his eyes down, playing with the sleeve of his coat. “Technically, I’ll be representing Survey Corps, so…”

Oh. Hange shifted her gaze to the wardrobe, where her old uniform was still hanging. That feeling inside her, she couldn’t quite identify it. Was it shame? Or trepidation?

She showed nothing of it to Moblit. As their eyes met, she faced him with an easy smile.

“Sure, I don’t mind. I do wonder if that thing still fits me.”

“It is. It always will.”

The remark was short, it could be read as meaningless. But Moblit’s voice was deep and gravely, full of conviction. Hange tilted her head, stealing a moment to study him more closely. He looked back at her, his hazel eyes honest and kind.

A lump in her throat was thick enough to make it hard to breathe. It brought tears to her eyes. Hange closed them tightly, to keep the tears from falling down.

“I need a moment,” she murmured, facing away from Moblit, “I’ll be ready in five.”

“I’ll be waiting in the hallway,” he said and let her be.

___

Walking through the streets of Sina was both pleasant and excruciating.

Feeling the sun on her cheeks and the wind in her hair after so many days of being confined to a one single room was enjoyable, enough to put a smile on her lips. And Sina, so very different from Liberio, was a lovely city with interesting architecture and narrow clean streets.

But these places were too familiar, the alleyways etched into her mind too deeply. And the uniform… the long green coat fitted her too well, and, at the same time, suffocated her. The shiny Wings of Freedom were burning her even through the clothes.

This proud emblem, it wasn’t hers. She wasn’t worthy of wearing it.

And the looks people had been given her, the awe and pride— fuck, Hange would rather prefer they cursed and flanged stones at her.

“Their smiles make me uncomfortable,” Moblit confessed. “They used to throw shit at us after every expedition. But now that Eren has killed a bunch of people, they suddenly decide that we’re heroes.”

“You always have been heroes.”

You, not we. There was nothing heroic inside of her.

“Remember that tavern?” Moblit’s cheerful voice and excited expression didn’t chase away the shadows completely. But the shadows took a step back, frightened by his light. “We had a glorious fight with MPs there.”

The fond memory brought laughter to her lips. “You almost got your arm broken in that fight.”

Moblit chuckled along with her. “Thanks to you I didn’t. I thought that punch of yours would get that guy obliterated.”

Hange touched her knuckles tenderly. Moblit was right, that was one hell of a punch. If she closed her eyes, she could almost feel how the force of the hit had reverberated through her skin, tendons, muscles and down to the bones. Perhaps, that time, she had overdone it. She always had troubles reining in her anger.

“And remember that guy Captain Levi kicked? I see him around from time to time. Because of his broken jaw, he still has trouble speaking clearly.”

Ah, Hange remembered that guy as well. He was red-headed and had an ugly moustache. He also left a nasty bruise on her cheek. Levi’s kick to his jaw was a payback for that.

“Those were the times, huh?” Moblit nudged her, offering a kind smile.

Hange averted her eyes, feeling her lips quiver. Yeah, those were the times. Distant times, now they seemed more like a dream. A dream Hange wouldn’t want to wake up from.

Sensing her discomfort, Moblit steered them to the side, taking their conversation in another direction as well. “Speaking of Captain Levi, I sent him the new uniform. He wrote back that he liked it.”

The uniform she accidentally created with Levi’s size in mind. It was in no way intentional. She thought of Survey Corps’ soldiers when she was making a design. And in her mind, the perfect example of the scout was Levi. She was surprised she still remembered his size. Although, considering how much time she had dedicated to studying his body…

The new uniform was a sudden project, a product of the abundance of free time on her part. She wasn’t going to show it to anyone. Even Moblit found out about it by pure accident, when he stumbled upon her crude drawings. She was surprised he liked it. She was surprised Levi liked it. Did he really, though?

“He actually wrote so?”

“Well, he wrote that it could be useful, and in his words…”

Oh. As high praise as one could get from Levi.

“You write to him?” truthfully, that was another surprise for Hange. She didn’t remember Moblit and Levi have any sort of relationships, especially this close.

“We talk a lot,” Moblit shrugged, looking anywhere but at Hange. She was starting to wonder why, but his next words quickly unveiled the mystery. “Technically, we’re the only adults in Survey Corps, and after you left, we… found that we have a lot in common.”

Well. At least, her betrayal had one good outcome. It gave birth to a new friendship. And destroyed several old ones. Hange winced at the last thought.

“Oh, look where are we!” Moblit once again pulled her out of the abyss with his clear, loud voice. The wonder, added to it, however, seemed a little bit too faked. As smart and sharp as he was, Moblit could never excel at lying and pretending.

Not like she did.

Forcing these thoughts away, Hange followed the direction Moblit was pointing at. She couldn’t help but smile at what came into her sights.

Sina’s pastries. The best bakery in the city. In Hange’s humble opinion, the best bakery in the whole damn world. The one they had back at home, on the corner of the street in Liberio, right next to her apartment, didn’t even compare.

Just looking at the sign made her mouth fill with saliva.

“Moblit,” she grasped at his sleeve, her hold desperate. Her eyes were still trained on that shiny sign made in cursive. “Moblit, I know I’m asking a lot—”

He grinned. “Want me to get you that cherry pie you loved so much?”

Oh god, yes. Right now, Hange wanted it more than anything else.

“I understand it if you can’t. I mean, I’m a prisoner from a foreign country. Isn’t buying pies considered to be treason in this case?”

Moblit chuckled warmly. He looked at her, and his expression was kind and gentle enough to make the saints weep. He curled his hand around her shoulder, and from the place where he touched her, warmth spread through her body. “I wouldn’t mind committing treason for a friend.”

Fuck. Hange felt it once again. Her heart squeezing painfully, her throat constricting, tears welling in her eyes. She had to shut her lids to keep them from falling down her cheeks.

Her eyes still closed, with her voice cracking, she asked, “Would it be weird if I give you a hug right now?”

“Don’t know. Is it weird that I really want that hug?”

Her sob turning into a giggle, Hange surged forward, falling right in Moblit’s waiting arms. He pressed her close, his palm patting her on the back. Hange buried her face in his chest and relaxed against him, inhaling his faint scent of citrus and cinnamon. Sweet and pleasant, just like Moblit.

What was she doing all that time, without him at her side?

Moblit smiled at her as they separated. Hange meant to smile back, but in that exact moment— her stomach gurgled. Loudly.

She cringed.

“So… about that pie?”

“I’m on it,” Moblit promised and darted to the bakery.

___

Perhaps, it was fate. It was destiny, divine intervention, that led her to this moment. To the wooden bench in the park, to the bird’s singing in her ear, to the sweet, heavenly taste in her mouth.

The pie was perfect, so much better than Hange had remembered. It was soft enough to melt in her mouth, leaving a pleasant aftertaste. It was sweet, but not sugary, the cherry toping adding slight bitterness.

Fantastic, the pie was fantastic. If Hange could, she’d stay in that bakery until the end of her days, devouring those phenomenal pastries until she exploded. Ah, what a happy death that would be…

Moblit observed her with an amused grin. “Did they not feed you at all in your Marley?”

“Not like this.” Hange managed, despite her full mouth.

Food in Marley was more diverse than on Paradise. They had more resources, they had a bigger variety of products and ingredients. But Hange was a soldier. She either ate at barracks or she cooked for herself at home. Food, made by army cooks, was nourishing, but lacking in flavor. And the dinners, prepared by her, almost always consisted of something quick and extremely simple.

The only place where Hange could eat to her heart’s content, where food was made out of the best, freshest ingredients and prepared by the most skillful chefs, was the official events, organized by the brass. And as the leader of the research facility, one of the most recognized war chief and the only child of her father, one of the Marleyan’s biggest heroes, Hange was always a welcome guest on these events.

But they were so boring that not even a promise of good food could make her sit until the end of them.

“Well, wait until you try Niccolo’s food. He is a true master.”

“Already did,” her stomach once again gurgled, this time the embarrassing sound was provoked by the memory of Sasha and Connie treating her to some of the maestro’s masterpieces. Sasha certainly was a lucky girl. “I ate so much, I thought I was gonna puke.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” bashfully, Moblit rubbed his neck. “The first time he made food for us, I was eating like the man starved. I was so ashamed, but then I looked around,” he chuckled lowly, a wistful smile tugging at his lips. “And realized I wasn’t the only one.”

“I see you had a lot of fun,” she said, swallowing the bitter taste in her mouth. She wasn’t one of them, and never was. The suddenly appeared sadness was foolish and unwelcome. She had her own friends back home. Perhaps, they still thought about her. Perhaps, they still cared. “And what about that guy you need to interrogate? Is he also an amazing cook?”

“No, he is a soldier, he taught us so much about your technology! He was the one who was in charge of controlling the airship we used to get to Liberio.”

So their new friend was a pilot? And, apparently, a skillful one at that. Navigating through Liberio during all that chaos was certainly a challenge. Hange wondered if she knew him.

“So what is the name of that ace pilot of yours?”

Moblit lifted his chin, something close to pride appearing in his gaze. "He really is amazing. His name is Onyakopon."

Hange's jaw dropped. Her precious pie almost dropped as well. Hadn't she misheard? Onyakopon? The same Onyakopon who had spent almost a year as her understudy? Who taught Hange how to pilot the plane? That Onyakopon?

Could it really be? Could they really meet here, after so many years, on Paradis of all the places? Or was it some other Onyakopon who also happened to be an ace pilot?

"Hange-san?" a worried crease lay between Moblit's eyebrows. "Are the two of you—"

"Don't know," she shrugged, promptly finishing the last of her pie. "Shall we go and find that out?"

Moblit nodded resolutely. Hange felt something like nostalgia stirring up inside her.

___

For a man who was supposedly under a close watch and a possible suspect, Onyakopon had the nicest of accommodations. Much better than Hange's single room.

The house was small, but cozy, surrounded by pretty garden and vast green fields. If one were to ignore the lonely guard who was munching on an apple in the shadow of the tree, the front yard possessed absolutely no flaws.

Hange immediately shared her observation with Moblit, telling it to him in a faint whisper.

"Let's hope Onyakopon isn't a traitor and we won't end up dragging him from this heavenly place," he answered her.

If their Onyakopon was the same Onyakopon Hange knew, they wouldn't need to take the drastic measures. He was a smart, honest and good man. And, judging by Moblit's set expression, he knew that too.

As they approached the house, a man came in their sights. Dark-skinned, tall and handsome, he was reading a book on the porch, a look of complete concentration on his face.

All doubt left her mind. It was the same Onyakopon. The bright, curious young man who wanted to learn from her and who taught her something in return.

At the sound of their footsteps, Onyankopon looked up. And recognized her too, from just one glance. As their eyes met, his grew in size, almost comically. So he didn't know she was there as well. Strange, Hange would have thought he overheard the commotion she had caused on their trip back to Paradis.

But, perhaps, Onyakopon was too focused on piloting the airship and keeping all of them alive.

"Hange?" his voice was no louder than the wind's song. Hange nodded swiftly, having troubles finding her own voice. She wasn't sure it would obey her. "Oh I'll be damned!" Onyakopon jumped to his feet and all but ran to her. He squeezed her elbows, peering into her face in disbelief. "I'll be damned, Hange! I've heard the talks about some Marleyan soldier, but I could never guess that it was you! No one told me that you were captured."

Well, captured might be a strong word to describe what happened to her. Levi didn't capture her, he simply caught her - unaware and unprepared. Hange saw the face that was haunting her dreams and didn't even think of fighting against him.

She thought that Levi came to kill her then. She was almost ready for him to do it, to finish it once and for all. Being killed by the humanity's strongest - was there a greater honor? Being killed by the man you loved so dearly - was there a bigger joy?

Gently, Hange pried Onyakopon's hands off her. "It's a very long story."

"I have—"

"You don't," Moblit took a step forward, partially hiding Hange behind his back. "We need to talk, Onyakopon. I'm sure you've already guessed why."

"Yeah. Your friend here," Onyankopon threw an accusing glare at his guardian who was enjoying the afternoon shade, not disturbed by their conversation. "Already warned me. Alright," he let out a defeated sigh, "Do you guys want tea or coffee? Maybe, some snacks?"

Moblit gave him a tight-lipped smile. "We've already eaten, thank you."

"I— I'll bring some tea anyway."

He disappeared inside the house without another word. Hange and Moblit watched him go, then, when he vanished from their sight, they shared a look.

"He doesn't seem nervous," Hange remarked.

Moblit seemed to be of the same opinion. "He looks rather disappointed. I really hope he is innocent. But..." he shook his head and mumbled, more to himself than Hange, "I was always bad at figuring out liars."

Ouch. If after everything she had been through, Hange still possessed a heart, Moblit's words would have dealt a fatal blow.

Alas... She felt but a small pang. It didn't make her wheeze with pain, only forced to cast her eyes down.

___

Onyakopon returned after a few minutes, carrying a tray with three cups on it. Jerking his head into its direction, he led them to a table on the backyard.

Once they all took their places, heavy silence hanged over them. Onyakopon was the one to break it.

"So, no offence," he tilted his head to the side, his gaze slowly switching between Hange and Moblit. "If this is the official business, then… why Hange is here?"

"It's a long story," Hange said at the same time as Moblit claimed,

"Hange and I have been working together before."

"Wait..." a frown appeared on Onyakopon's face. It was almost immediately taken over by the look of shock. "Are you telling me that the famed Marleyan spy I've been hearing so much about, the one who spent five years on Paradis and almost became the Commander of Survey Corps, is Hange Zoe, one of the brightest minds of Marley?"

"Something like that, yeah," Hange took a cup of tea in her hands, hiding her embarrassment behind it.

"Wow... that's certainly... a lot to take in. I heard so many things about you."

"Nice ones, I hope?"

The corners of Onyakopon's lips slid down. "Not really."

"Ah... Understandable, I guess."

"But if you're the famous betrayer, why are you here? Are you—"

"We've been working together for a long time," Moblit repeated. "I trust Hange's judgement."

"I have an exceptional talent of picking out bullshit. And," Hange grinned, the curl of her lips just this side of being feral. "I'm a master of reaping fingernails out."

Onyakopon promptly chocked on the tea he was drinking. Sending her the most disappointing of his looks, Moblit jumped out from his seat to help the other man to cough it all out. His panicked face did awake a bit of shame in Hange.

"It was a joke," she hurried to assure.

"A very bad one," Moblit grumbled, softly patting Onyakopon on the back.

"I see nothing has changed about you, Hange," after returning his breathing under control, Onyakopon raised his eyes, giving her a joyful smile.

Hange wasn't sure if his words held any truth, personally, she hadn't felt like her happy, curious and driven self from years ago, but, nevertheless, she answered his smile with the one of her own.

"Now, let's talk about you," Moblit returned to his place, sitting down on the opposite side from Onyakopon. His back was straight, his expression relaxed but solemn. He grew, Hange noted absentmindedly. He was no longer that timid, shy man she had met all these years ago. "Do you know what happened with Yelena?"

"I understand that she is in the same boat as I am right now."

"Not quite," Moblit retorted. "We've recently found out that she has been talking with Eren behind our backs."

Onyakopon put the cup down, his hands a little more unsteady than Hange remembered them to be. "I... didn't know about any of this. Do you know what they were discussing?"

"Commander Pixis and the others are attempting to make sense of it as we speak."

"And in the meantime you decided to interrogate me." Onyakopon's demeanor changed, his eyes flashing. "Have I not done enough, Moblit? For you and for the people of Eldia? Haven't we helped you enough? And yet, you still don't trust me. You come here with—" his gaze shifted to Hange, but whatever Onyakopon wanted to say didn't leave his mouth, Moblit's hardened expression stopping him.

"You know how hard it is to earn trust," Moblit spoke calmly. "Especially now. Personally, I don't think that you're involved in Yelena's dealings. But I have to make sure of it. Wouldn't you do the same, if you were in my position?"

"Besides," Hange chimed in, "Even Eren is imprisoned. Do you really blame them for not trusting foreigners?"

Onyakopon took his time before answering. His jaw clenched, as he fixed his gaze on the wooden surface of the table.

"Maybe, you're right," he said at last. At his admission, Moblit relaxed. But Hange knew that Onyakopon wasn't finished yet. "But I risked my life to help get Eren back. Doesn't that count for something?"

"Yelena took part in that mission as well." Moblit reminded.

"I'm not Yelena." Onyankopon harshly retorted.

Moblit scowled. Onyakopon was glaring back at him, hands crossed on his chest. Hange decided it was time to intervene once more.

"Are we thinking of the same Yelena?" she interrupted their staring contest, easing the air around both men. "Tall, blonde and absolutely crazy?"

Not taking his eyes of Onyakopon, Moblit nodded. "She also has a strange obsession with Yeager brothers."

"Ah," yeah, Hange knew her. How could she not? Yelena was... "A lovely girl. Even I get chills from her. I doubt that Pixis would be able to get something out of her."

"That what worries me," Moblit confessed, rubbing his temples. The gesture was familiar to Hange - Moblit always suffered from headaches when under stress. "The Queen is coming back soon. If we don't secure the capital..."

"Historia is coming back?" Hange wasn't aware of it. When she asked Sasha about a little girl that once was called Christa and then grew up to become a Queen, Sasha said that she was also getting ready to become a mother. Was bringing her to the capital a good call then? With everything in such state of disarray?

"It was her decision, not ours," Moblit explained. "When the Queen learned what is going in, she deemed it necessary to intervene."

"Hopefully, the Queen is loved more than Eren Yeager."

Yeah, that would be the best case scenario. For everyone - even Marleyans - involved.

"In these uncertain times..." Moblit hanged his head with a deep, weary sigh. "Hope is all we have. Thank you for your time, Onyakopon. We'll be heading back now."

Having said that, he stood up. Hange meant to follow his suit, but at the last moment, Onyakopon stopped her, catching her sleeve between his fingers.

"About what happened in Liberio," he stiffly began. "Marley destroyed my hometown," Hange solemnly nodded. She was forced to take part in that particular operation. She hated every second of it. "I can't and I won't forgive them for that. But..." his voice softened, his thumb rubbed comforting circles around her pulse point. "Liberio was your home as well. So I know what you're going through."

Taken by surprise, Hange blinked a couple of times, gawking at Onyakopon. She expected anger from him. In the worst case - pity. But he offered her only his understanding. She was grateful for that.

“Goodbye, Onyankopon,” she smiled sweetly.

“Hopefully, that wouldn’t be our last meeting.”

Hange could very well agree on that.

___

When they were back in Sina, the sun was already setting, painting the streets and buildings into shades of orange, red and pink. While walking through the town, Hange was once again reminded of how beautiful it truly was. The abundance of trees and flower bushes, the shiny cobblestone and petite houses added to its charm, making Sina look almost magical.

“Pretty as a picture,” Hange had once called it, during a walk through the town with Levi by her side. Her fascination, that careless mishap almost got her lie uncovered.

“You look like you’re seeing it for the first time, four-eyes,” Levi had thrown that line carelessly, but his had narrowed ever so slightly and his frown had deepened. “Didn’t you say that you have grown up in the city?”

In that moment, Hange had almost started panicking. She could almost see it too – Levi finding out the truth, Levi dragging her to Erwin, Erwin getting everything he could out of her, him, Mike, Nanaba, Moblit, Nifa, Keiji, Abel, Levi and countless of others feeling disappointed and betrayed. The story would have ended with her standing on the gallows.

Perhaps, this end would have been more merciful. But that day, her joyful, only slightly forced laughter and a meaningless ‘Don’t you know me, Levi? I always have my head up in the clouds?’ had saved her from the early demise. And doomed her to many years of torture, heartache and self-hatred.

“Hey,” a gentle hand on her elbow broke her out of the internal misery. Hange looked up, meeting Moblit’s hazel eyes. “It will take some time until we reach the headquarters. Can we talk in the meanwhile?”

“Sure,” she shrugged. “What do you wish to talk about?”

“I actually want to ask a question. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but…” Moblit trailed off for a moment, pressing his lips in a line. Hange smiled faintly, she knew that expression too – he always wore it when he was contemplating his next move. As soon as his mind was set, it vanished, the usual kind face returning. “I would like to know why… you came here in the first place.”

That was it? Hange almost exhaled with relief. She thought he was going to ask something truly awful.

“Didn’t I tell you already? Just like Hoover, Leonhart, Braun and Galliard, I was sent to retrieve the Founding Titan.”

“But you didn’t do it. You had countless opportunities to take Eren from us, and you never acted on any of them. So why did you really come here?”

That was… a question more complicated than Hange was ready for. She didn’t know what to tell Moblit, how much she was willing to share. She had never talked about this, not to a single soul. Her comrades and friends from Marley would never understand her anyway. But Moblit wasn’t Marleyan, he didn’t possess the same mentality. Perhaps, he wouldn’t judge her. Hange was counting on that.

Without another second spent on doubt, she began her tale,

“My father was a hero – a soldier, brilliant tactician, an even better politician. He was resolute, fearsome and absolutely merciless to his enemies. No surprise that many considered him to be an ideal Marleyan citizen. And I was his only child. Naturally, everyone expected me to be as brilliant as him. I began my training at the age of five, and by the age of twelve I was already a perfect soldier. However, that’s not who I wanted to be. I wanted to explore the world, to travel to distant lands, but as the child of my father, I had my whole life controlled by him, and then, when he passed away, by the expectations everyone had for me.”

Taking a pause, Hange chanced a look at Moblit, expecting him to be disgusted or annoyed by her whining. She had everything given to her on a plate, a bright future guarantied, and she still yearned for something more. It was pathetic, wasn’t it? She was pathetic. However, Moblit… didn’t seem to share that opinion. At least, his face didn’t show the signs of it. Instead of the outrage Hange had expected to see, she was met with sympathy.

It made the pain in her chest grew tenfold.

Nevertheless, she forced herself to continue.

“I could never decide for myself, my whole life was controlled by my father’s legacy. I wanted to break free of it, by whatever means necessary. So when I heard about the mission to retrieve the Founding Titan, I latched onto that chance, convincing the brass to send me there with the kids. But I’ve arrived earlier than them, and we got separated. And so… I decided to use that time to do what I always wanted. To study and explore.”

It was the most brilliant of her adventures. She loathed being a soldier and having to kill countless enemies of Marley. But there was no war at Paradis. The only enemies were Titans, and as much as Hange felt for their struggle, she managed to convince herself that she was killing them for their own good. That she was freeing them from their never-ending curse.

“No one knew me here, and I could be whoever I wanted to. And I liked being Squad Leader Hange, because Squad Leader Hange was allowed to be as weird and curious as I wanted. People here accepted me. For the first time in my life, I felt like I found the place where I belonged.”

Of course, that wasn’t true, a mere fantasy, a delusion on her part. She was a Marleyan, a child of the man who condemned thousands of Eldians. She had no place in their world. And yet, Hange was happy. It was the bitter truth she was afraid to admit for so long - she loved the persona of Squad Leader Hange. So much more than the persona of the Professor and war engineer, Hange Zoe.

But nothing could last forever. And when the time has come to return to Marley, Hange was devastated. She lost herself in playing her own game.

“That’s it, I guess,” she said, rolling her shoulders. Looking up, she saw they were almost by the stables where they left their horses in the morning. So deep inside her own head, she failed to notice how much time had passed. “I ran away because I was sick of my life back home. And I spent five years pretending to be someone else.”

“Were you really?” Moblit watched her, his gaze inquisitive. “Were you really pretending to be someone else, Hange-san? Or did you finally allow yourself to release your true self?”

That was… a scary statement. And much more loaded than Hange could deal with in that moment.

“I could be wrong, though,” Moblit shot her an innocent smile. Hange cursed under her breath, a true devil, that’s what he was. Getting her to admit to so much of her insecurities, Moblit surely had a talent for it. And to think he asked her to help him with interrogation. He seemed to be pretty adept at it himself.

“Stay here, I’ll bring our horses,” he started walking in the direction of the stables, but at the last moment turned away, and, meeting Hange’s eyes, added, “I’m glad that you took that mission, Hange-san. And I’m glad that I got to meet the real you. All of us are.”

Hange snorted, watching Moblit go. Perhaps, her father was right about something. Devils, all of them were. How else to explain the ease with which they wormed their way into her heart?

Her shoulders dropped as soon as Moblit had disappeared from her view, and she turned to stare at the setting sun. Certainly, it was one hell of a draining conversation.

But as her thoughts were still scattered in disarray, her heart felt so much lighter. She never shared this part of her with anyone, was afraid to admit it even to herself. But now she was glad she had finally done it. Perhaps, she should have done it a long time ago. Her life could have been easier then, the amount of regrets considerably lesser.

She swept her gaze around the plaza Moblit left her at. With the day coming to an end, not a lot of people were there. As far as Hange could see, the only ones still present were a happy mother with a two children, who were feeding the pigeons on the bench at the far side of the plaza, an elderly couple, and—

And a girl that sat at the edge of the fountain. The short stature, slumped shoulders, that luscious long black hair were familiar to the point of setting Hange's heart ablaze.

She couldn't see the face, was afraid to, but even so, Hange denied what her eyes saw. Surely, it was her imagination, her mind conjuring things that weren't there. This girl, she was—

A shadow, fathom. It couldn't be— it couldn't be her. Even the possibility of it was raising the hairs at the back of Hange's neck.

It wasn't Pieck, just a random girl. Hange was wrong, simply seeing things. Those familiar traits belonged to someone else. Pieck wasn't here, in Paradis, Pieck couldn't be—

"Hange?" she jumped, and whirled around so swiftly her head went dizzy. Before her stood Moblit, his eyebrows knitted together worriedly. "Everything alright?"

She exhaled with relief. "Peachy," she answered with a smile she didn't feel. Her eyes shifted from one side of plaza to the other, searching for the figure she had seen. But like all shadows do, she simply vanished.

"I brought our horses," Moblit gestured for her to follow him. Hange did, not looking back even once.

Even so, she felt someone's gaze burning into her back all the way to the headquarters.

___

"Sorry," Moblit stood at the threshold of her room, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "I need to report to Zacklay and Pixis."

His expression was nearly apologetic. Hange patted his shoulder, touched by his not so subtle concern. "Stop worrying so much, Mob. Nothing would happen if you leave me for one evening."

Moblit kept frowning, looking as unconvinced as ever. "I'll tell Sasha and Connie to bring you dinner,” he nodded to himself. “And if you need anything, just tell the guard to call for me."

"Alright, alright. Now go!" Hange gave him a forceful push. "And make me proud!"

She didn't get an answer out of him, but she did see a faint blush appear on his cheeks. That was enough for Hange to chuckle victoriously.

Once Moblit had disappeared around the corner, Hange shoved the door closed and leaned against it. It was an exhausting, eventful day. She wanted nothing more than to rest. She headed towards the bed to fulfill that exact goal.

But no sooner than she had seated down, she heard the knock on the door. Albeit quietly, it was repeated three more times.

Sighing, Hange stood up again and walked back to the door. She swung it open, expecting to see Sasha and Connie. She was hoping to get a warm meal inside while gossiping with the two teenagers. A second later, the door stood open. And Hange's throat was closed up.

On the other side of the threshold— there was no Sasha, no Connie. Only Pieck.

And so the shadow finally took form.

Pieck was dressed similarly to her, in the dark green uniform. Her hair was gathered in a low ponytail, a smile was playing on her lips. The subtle differences in her attire only added to the sense of disbelief.

At the sight of her lovely face, all air left Hange's lungs. She desperately tried to take a breath, opening and closing her mouth rapidly. She wasn’t sure for how long she would have continued gaping like a fish fresh out of the water hadn't Pieck taken the matters in her own hands.

"It's been a while, Hange," as always, she spoke in a quiet, sugary sweet voice. Usually it calmed Hange down. Now it was sending shivers down her spine. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Pieck," Hange meant to sound leveled, controlled. But even a single word came out shaky and unsure. "Pieck," she tried again, this time with more success. "What are you doing here?"

Pushing past Hange, Pieck walked inside the room, heavily sliding down on a chair. "Serving my country. Something you have forgotten about."

Pieck stared straight at her, hands folded in her lap, a picture of friendliness and innocence. But the smile Hange always found so endearing, now seemed almost chilling.

"Tell me, Hange, is this the part of your plan? Have you decided to use your old history with these people to destroy them from the inside? Or," Pieck paused, tilting her head to one side. She didn't look angry, or disappointed. If anything, she seemed simply curious. But the atmosphere in the room was tense, air electrified with trepidation. Hange knew Pieck all too well, she knew how dangerous the shifter girl could be. "Have you already forgotten what they did in Liberio, in our city? How they destroyed it? How killed thousands of men, women and children? These monsters almost killed Reiner, Porco," her voice wavered at the names of her dear comrades. But even then, she didn’t drop the unassuming façade. "And do you know what happened to Udo and Zophia? Have you seen what become of them?"

Stunned, Hange could only stare at Pieck. The words left her, her mind unable to come up with anything she could have used to explain herself.

Indifferent to Hange’s internal struggle, Pieck continued.

"Do you even care, Hange? About Marley, about us?"

"Of course, I do." How Pieck could even doubt that? Udo and Zophia, those bright, adorable children Hange couldn't quite imagine them being gone. "Pieck, you misunderstand, I've been captured, I'm not—"

"Don't make me laugh." Pieck interrupted curtly. "You have your own room, you walk freely through the town, you wear their uniform. Is this how they treat all of their prisoners? Awfully kind of them then, considering the monstrosities these devils committed."

"Pieck, listen—"

Pieck didn't want to.

"You always were a strange one, Hange," gracefully, the girl stood up, taking a step closer. With her hands behind her back, she started pacing, circling around Hange. "I could never understand what was going on inside your head. I still can't. But, naively, I thought that I knew you. That after years of fighting side by side, we grew close enough. And after the disaster at Liberio," she picked up a sheet of paper from Hange's desk, gave it a quick once over before disregarding it in favor of focusing her eyes on Hange once more. "I kept looking for you. I was so afraid to find your body under a fallen building or see you with a hole in the head. But you were nowhere to be found. Everyone was worried sick, the brass was livid - the devils from Paradis killed the Warhammer, took our Beast and now our brightest mind was missing as well. And then I remembered what I have seen during the fight. A short man approaching you, the same one who nearly killed Zeke, that Ackerman. I thought he had captured you, I thought you needed saving. Seems like I was wrong about that, huh?”

Even now, Pieck was keeping her calm. Despite the harsh accusations, her voice remained gentle, almost soothing. The smile was still in place, and her head was tilted up, peering into Hange’s eyes.

Hange did everything she could to escape that unsettling gaze.

“I also came to because I needed you,” Pieck continued. “I thought you would help me with my mission.”

Would she? Should she? Hange didn’t know. She knew what Professor Hange Zoe would have done. She knew what Squad Leader Hange would have done.

But what would she do?

“I guess it doesn’t matter. Whether you help us or not, the outcome will be the same. Paradis will fall, Hange. Consider it my only warning. If you wish to witness its demise alongside these devils, I won't stop you. But," without looking at Hange, Pieck laid a hand on her shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. "If your decision ever changes, I'll be happy to fight by your side."

After that, Pieck left the room, closing the door softly on her way out. Hange, however, didn’t move, remaining frozen in one place, too stunned to follow after Pieck and demand a more thorough explanation.

However... what was there to explain? Paradis will fall. Plain and simple.

Right now, Hange couldn't quite believe it, although she was supposed to expect it. What could possibly happen to that little island after Eren's desperate rampage? But even before that, Paradis was already doomed. The events that transpired at Shiganshina proved to the outside world just how dangerous the Eldians could be. And Shiganshina was simply a plant that had grown out of the seed of Grisha Yeager's crimes.

There was no hope for Paradis. There never was.

Paradis will fall.

What could she do to save it? Could she do something, anything at all? Could she help them, expose her nation's plans? Could she betray her motherland like that? If she shared the truth with people of Paradis, would they even believe her? Would her people forgive her?

Hange didn't know. Her mind was in frenzy, her thoughts flying from one horrible outcome to the other. It was in that catatonic state that Sasha and Connie found her.

"Hange-san? Is everything alright?"

Hange looked up, meeting their bewildered gazes. In that moment she realized - she didn't want these kids to die. She didn't want for them to suffer any more than they've already done. And the others - Moblit, Levi - Hange couldn't bear the thought of them in harm. But—

She didn't want for her fellow countrymen to die as well.

Fuck. Why was everything so hard these days, why it was so damn complicated? When would her heart stop tearing into two pieces? Why was everything out of her control?

It was always an issue of hers, the lack of control. This time was no different. Caught between crossfires, Hange didn't know which side to choose. Perhaps then... she shouldn't choose at all.

Perhaps, she should take the back seat. Let everything transpire the way it was supposed to be. Let them fight, let someone win.

And so, with a heavy heart and troubled consciousness, Hange came to a decision. She would not alert Paradis about the threat hanging over them. She would not help Marley in their fight.

But there was another side to all of this. Another warning, another trouble that couldn’t be ignored.

There was a danger of Marley invasion, but equally disturbing was the events transpiring inside the Walls. Something was brewing, a storm ready to swipe everyone in its path. And Hange had a nasty feeling that at the center of it, two figures stood – Yeager brothers.

Nothing could be done about Eren, Hange had doubts that even his closest friends had a single clue of what was going inside the boy’s head, what dangerous ideas were forming there. But Zeke, Hange knew how to deal with Zeke. She also knew someone who could deal with him in the most efficient way.

She didn’t know what Zeke was planning. But she was confident that Levi would be able to find out.

She just needed to give him a little push.

“Sasha,” Hange smiled at the girl, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “If you would be so kind, tell Moblit to visit me before he retires for the night.”

Moblit had mentioned that he was corresponding with Levi. The time has come to use this detail to her and the world’s advantage.

The world as they knew was changing, perhaps, it was already at the brink of collapse, horrible destruction. What did Moblit say? In these uncertain times, hope is all we have?

In that case, her only hope was Levi.

#does someone still remember that fic? i for sure had almost forgotten about it jdfsdkhgsjgh #levihan

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choiwrites · 3 years

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kth | the day after valentine’s (m.)

Words: 4.5k Synopsis: Taehyung, your best friend, had asked you to come over to help him arrange his furniture after moving for the hundredth time. It’s the day after Valentine’s and all the getting laid stuff is over, right? Not for Taehyung. Also, who the hell buys condoms after Valentine’s day? Rating: 18+ Author’s Note: This is a messy drabble that I have no intention cleaning or editing. I wrote this at liek 2am so a lot of typo’s ahead y’all.

When you agreed to come over Taehyung's apartment, you thought he needed help with arranging the stuff that came from his moving van today. But no, your best friend's not the most truthful person you know.

He spreads across his dirty old couch, one he'd kept from his college dorm, wearing nothing but his basketball shorts that holds tight against his waist. Seven years since meeting him, he's done nothing to change his lifestyle. Every month, it's the same old scenario of him moving to another place after getting evicted for God knows how many times, and you watching him play a mobile game while you beg him to please start unpacking before a landlord sends him on his ass again.

"Let me finish this level, I'm so close." He looks for a second to study your reaction, annoyance painted clearly on your face.

You shrug, and your eyes dart over the cigarette pack that almost hides in one of his Goodwill boxes.

"I though you quit?"

Confused, Taehyung follows your eyes and he regrets in an instant bringing you here.

"I haven't had one in two months. I'm stressed lately."

Sighing, you try to understand. Taehyung's been on and off with cigars, he'd buy one in secret but sooner or later, you'd always find a lighter in his laundry when coming over. You advice him to keep his hand busy, and you'd even given him a bracelet that chimes. He removed it three months later and you never asked where he threw it away.

"Fuck," his finger swipes his screen as if he wanted to break it, "I almost got it!" he yelled.

He switches off his phone, now staring back at you. Your eyes fall, he's always intimidating. You couldn't blame him, you were always intimidated.

"What?" you croaked.

"What do you mean what? What's your plan?"

"My plan? Why do I have to make the plans?" Your fingers find the hem of your thin baby blue shirt.

"Because you're the smarter one. How do I arrange all my shit? You got any idea?"

"Taehyung, we've been doing this for ages. How come you still depend on me? There will come a day that I won't be here anymore and the only person you could depend on is yourself." Was it seeing the cigarettes that raised your voice, or remembering that he threw your handmade bracelet? You couldn't care less.

He was quiet. Then he opens his mouth, and he's quiet again.

"You sound like my mom," he says, meaning to tease you as if he hadn't used that for the hundredth time. "Was your date last night that bad? I told you you should come with Hoseok and I on Valentine's, we had an amazing night at Jungkook's crib."

There he goes again, ignorant of your troubles. Classic selfish Tae, the exact same one who stood you up on homecoming because he spent it having sex with Tilly Janes in his car. You're still upset about it, he didn't even think of going inside to give you at least a minute to dance with somebody on the dance floor.

"Mind telling me what happened? Did you get laid?"

"Do you ever think of maybe you shouldn't ask such inappropriate questions to someone?"

"Fine," almost tired in his tone.

And you spend a few more minutes in silence, guessing each other's thoughts with the way both your gaze lands on the floor. He clears his throat and forgets what he's about to say. You wish you didn't cancel your nail appointment today just to be with your best friend who still, in no surprise, doesn't have a single plan in his life.

Taehyung suggests he buys a stock from the grocery first, and when he says stock he means an awful lot of Oreo cookies and Lays. You agreed with him and he gets dressed, though the soles of your feet still hurt from walking in heels for three hours straight last night. If only you knew that Hyungwon would be bringing you to a walking spree, you wouldn't have worn a formal attire.

Taehyung spends his time choosing between peanut butter and double stuff. You tell him to pick the peanut butter one because you've never seen him finish the double stuff, he always throws the leftovers saying it was too sweet. He ignores your opinion and chooses the double stuff over the peanut butter.

He asks you again whether he should buy milk or pineapple juice instead, and you tell him to pick milk because whoever drinks pineapple is a monster. He nods in affirmation, commenting about how pineapple has a really weird aftertaste. And he brings the milk back to the shelf, putting the pineapple juice in the cart.

"You should dress like that." He points at a mannequin dressed in sportswear.

"You don't tell me what to wear, young man. I don't even jog."

"I'm just saying you'd look hotter." He scans you head to toe and your knees weaken a little.

He takes a route to the meat section, you already know why. He just wants to brag about being a vegan. Jungkook had convinced him last month to finally turn vegan, and he's been talking about it non-stop.

"I can't stand the smell of meat anymore, it's disgusting." He pinches his nose, wrinkles forming on his face.

"Okay, Mr. Vegan. We get it." You rolled your eyes.

"No, really. It's making me vomit," he says, nasally.

"Just make sure that once I cook chicken alfredo, your mouth wouldn't water."

Upon reaching the counter, Taehyung approaches the magazines and candy bars, leaving you in line.

What does he need this time?

And when you're up next in line, he comes back with a tight fist, hiding an item as he crosses his arms.

He thought he was sleek, but when he throws the condoms next to the Oreos, you couldn't help but laugh.

"You're buying condoms after Valentine's Day?" You throw your hand to your mouth, suppressing an uncontrollable laughter. "Did you run out last night or you're only getting laid today?" you added.

"Do you ever think of maybe you shouldn't ask such inappropriate questions to someone?"

You sighed. "But seriously, I know you wanna answer that question."

In the mood, you poke at his waist and he flinches like a worm. Taehyung was cocky, but he can be cute sometimes in ways he doesn't intend to.

"I ran out last night. Lucky you who don't need to buy another one since none of your dates ever pass your standards."

You couldn't point it out in what he said that made your heart throb, it felt a little offensive. Taehyung knows so much about you, it can get scary when he opens his mouth. What's he thinking right now? Cute little y/n, no one's ever good enough for her fragile heart. Cute little y/n, always finds a mistake in every part.

"That's not true, you know? I just don't settle that easily."

The corners of his lips lift, eyes rolling in disbelief. He was skinning you alive with that gaze, annoyed. He has a sarcastic smile sprawled all over his face, you just wanna punch it away.

On the way home, you thought about what he said for a second... For a while. You thought about it for a while. Was Taehyung right? Was his perception of you correct? Whatever it was, it did hurt. All you ever did for Taehyung was to be a good friend, and he gave nothing in return. You weren't expecting anything, but deep inside you knew Taehyung loves you just as much as you love him. But like every other person, insecurity gets in the way in relationships.

Maybe Taehyung doesn't even treat you as a friend.

No, you argued inside your head.

Sure, you've seen him in his most vulnerable moments. You've seen him break and you've seen him fall, you've seen him lose the inner parts of his soul. You've seen Taehyung happy, and you will always remember that specific laugh he lets out whenever he pretends something is funny. You know that he blinks when he curses because his body rejects it. He told you about his broken dream of becoming an astrologist, and you daydreamed together about the stars and the way they collide like magical dusts.

Maybe Taehyung doesn't know you like you know him.

Before the thought gets answered, Taehyung was already groaning as he puts the bags down to his counter. You had forgotten you arrived.

"We should start with your room. I'll place your clothes in your closet and you go arrange your miscellaneous."

He doesn't nod. Why won't he nod? God, please, Taehyung, just agree with me once.

He remains standing with both his hands on either sides of his waist and he does nothing else. Still standing feet away from you, just knitted brows and a stern expression that you couldn't read. What is it this time?

"How was it?" His arms cross on the buff his chest, waiting for a response as he tries to read your reaction the same way you're reading where he's coming from.

"How was what?"

"The sex, y/n. Was it so bad you're in a bad mood today?" A laugh pauses in his throat, replaced by a rise of the corner of his lips.

It was a tug, or maybe a push, in your stomach that made your minds do wonders of spins. Such an unpredictable person Taehyung is.

There was nothing to deliberate inside your mind, nothing happened last night. Hyungwon went home without a kiss on his lips, and you're limbs gave out due to the amount of walking.

"There's no sex. We didn't have sex."

"Let me guess, he insulted your outfit? If not, he probably split the check." His index finger extends, eyes wrinkling to get out any more ideas from his dirty little head.

"Can you just- Ugh! What's with you and your insults?"

"How was that an insult? I was guessing which of what he did didn't pass your golden standard."

"If I had a better standard, maybe you wouldn't be my friend." Ouch. It wasn't directed to you but sometimes you just want to dissolve after saying something.

"I'm your friend because you have a high standard." He wasn't offended, not a single bit from what you have said. Was Taehyung that oblivious of how miserable he is? "If we weren't friends, I'm pretty sure I could get inside your pants."

You hoped he regret what he said, just as much as you wanted to dissipate earlier.

"I'm sorry, Taehyung. But my 'golden standard' would never, and I can't stress this enough, let you get in my pants, in an alternate universe where we aren't friends."

"Lies. Lies. Lies. I could easily get you swooning for me in just a matter of seconds, y/n. Stop, and I can't stress this enough, lying."

"Sure, Taehyung. Whatever you want me to fucking say." You turned your back on him to get a grip of yourself. You grunt, you shudder, and you sighed.

Cocky. Bastard. You could join those words together and it would still perfectly describe Taehyung. Perhaps you have a list of two words that could go either independently or together they'd still describe Taehyung well.

Arrogant. Pervert. Overconfident. Asshole. Striking. Idiot. Son. Of. A. Bitch. I. Just. Want. To. Punch. Him.

He places a grip on your arm to spin you to him. "I want you to say it," with a guttural voice coming from the pits of somewhere within his diaphragm, it's crazy how smooth it escaped from his lips.

"Saywhat?" as opposed to yours that escaped with so much tremble and crisp, thinner than air.

"Consent," he began. "I'm pretty sure I can reach your standard."

It was probably a bad idea. And a bad idea is followed by a spontaneous drive to try it, that's how it's done in movies. You'd probably regret it, right? But you'd regret it more if you don't get a chance to prove Taehyung wrong.

Fine. He needs a wake up call. He needs to wake up from that delusion he'd built inside his towering cocky arrogant head, no pun intended, that he's not every girl's cup of tea.

"You know what? Sure. What do you want me to do? Ride you? Then give you a blowjob after not finding the clit-"

He pulls you, hand reaching your lower back to push his groin toward your front. You were far behind than he was, Taehyung was already hard and eager. His lips were hot, warm around the tip of your tongue that vividly tastes the mint and smoke he had had earlier this morning. It was evident in the sloppiness of his kiss, swiftness of his wandering hands, and blazing fire underneath the lust of his eyes, Taehyung isn't exactly as what you have thought him to be.

The men you've slept with before, they were a floating fish in the sea. But Taehyung brings you sea deep into the weakness of your knees, the floor may have shaken 'cause you find yourself falling on his body and he catches you just perfectly, bodies molding with each other on the floor. Taehyung grips your thigh, to the north his hand traveled, his thumb harshly caressing your slit.

The position made it hard for him to move, he was struggling to reach every part of your body as he would have wanted so he pushed your body, and you look him in the eyes with question, both hands resting on his chest as he continues to play with your clit. He earns a sly grunt from you and he'd do anything to hear it again.

Then he was standing, carrying your body to the nearest stool he could find, desperate and quick. With one sharp thrust to lock you in position, he inhales the moan that went from your lips to his throat. Then he stops. He stopped.

"Moaning already, are we?" He lifts his brow, a crease forming on his forehead.

"Can you just get to it?"

He laughs. "That's not exactly how I always do it. I like to take my time."

You punch his shoulder, a questioning look taking over his features. Embarrassment flows through you. "This was a mistake."

He kisses you again, eating whatever insult was about to come out of your mouth. He wants to whisper it, that thing he have always wanted to tell you, in between kisses. Because now that he's got you under his touch, his tongue is burning just to say it. To distract himself, he digs into your waist deeper, sinking those three little words under your skin hoping you'd realize it.

You pull away, pushing him away from you. "Something wrong?" His nails have left their mark before you could figure out.

"No, no. Nothing's wrong."

There is though. You're not a stranger to not know the look on Taehyung's face. You recognize this one, it happened before. The trembling lips and crimson cheeks. They bring you back the day after prom, the day after Tilly Janes took his innocence.

"What happened last night?" you asked him, arms crossed against your chest.

"I'm so sorry I didn't come-"

"You came Tae. You came hard, didn't you? I can't believe you convinced me to go to prom just so you can leave me in there alone."

"I didn't want to. Listen, okay, I realized something last night."

"I don't need your apology, Taehyung. I don't need it. Jimin took me home last night."

"What? Why?"

"Why? Because some asshole left me without a ride. That's why!"

"I was looking for you last-"

"Shut it. He asked me on a date. So thank God, I'm at least in a good mood today to not flame on you."

"He asked you on a date? Are you going?"

Trembling lips and crimson cheeks. He gulped so hard you heard it.

"I am. Hey, are you okay?"

"I just can't believe someone would even ask you out. I'll be going, forget I came."

It's the same face, the same gulp. You put your hand on his cheek, like what a mom would do to an injured child, and he holds it so you won't ever let go of his face.

"We can stop. I know. This was a bad idea. We shouldn't have done it."

He shakes his head, his other hand creeping behind you. He latches his lips onto yours again, pulling your shirt up to reveal your stomach. The kiss was different, a touch of hunger for affection. A slow open one, mostly the breaths clashing in a soft whisper.

"I want you, y/n. I want you," he whispered to your mouth. You push him to the couch, straddling him and he groans in satisfaction. He pulls you closer, enough for his chin to land on your chest and he looks up in pure admiration of you.

There was more behind the words he said, but with the heat pooling in between your thighs, you couldn't care less as of now. It's something you'll resolve after. He tucks a strand of your hair as he makes thrusts underneath you, the thick cotton of his sweats didn't do anything to conceal his cock aching for you.

You remove his shirt, not being able to take your eyes away from his body. Sweet and honey under your gaze, he tenses them and you couldn't help but laugh at this. Kissing every inch of his exposed skin, you kneel as your knees approach the floor, not breaking eye contact with Taehyung while untying his sweats. His hand fails to fall steady on your arm and his Adam's apple bob in anticipation.

There's warmth that spreads across your stomach, different from the one in between you thighs. It's like electricity that continuously ignites a fire inside you when you notice his excitement, eager to have your mouth around him. A sign of reciprocation that he wants this just as much as you do no matter how hard you try to deny it, a catching fire of the thought that maybe he looks at you the way you look at him throughout all these years. Even now that you're not looking in his eyes, the continuous ignition of sparks inside you still teases.

You reach for his length, softly wrapping it in your hand and his breath quickens along with your heartbeat. Studying every detail, even the cold tones of the veins that spreads like tree roots. In usual occasions, giving head never takes your time. You suck it and finish it, no more and no less, nothing special really. But it's Taehyung, and his difference from others makes you uncomfortable in a way it shouldn't be possible. Trying to forget these unnecessary emotions, your thumb circles the head of his cock and he couldn't help but make his lip bleed, the agony of it keeping him awake to not fall into your dreamy touch.

His shorts reaches the floor and you made it quick to to kiss the base of his glistening length. Your index finger making lines on his thigh while the other keeps his cock steady as your lips move upward. You've never imagined how he would taste, but you were always sure he tastes exactly like he tastes now. Bittersweet. He throbs at the heat of your breath, thighs almost jumping when your fingers find his balls. He emits a groan that strengthens the force you're putting in your thighs to keep your core intact.

Down you go, the head of his cock deepening in your throat just like his grunts, getting lower and lower until he thrusts upwards making you gag and he releases a high-pitched whimper of your name. Tears blur your vision and a moan sends minimal vibration to his cock.

"I don't think... y/n, fuck, I'm not gonna last long," he confessed, and you finally look up to see him without removing him from your mouth.

You tongue swirling still and he has gone rabid trying to control himself, clenching your hair as he lets himself go maniac against your throat. He stares at you with mad eyes, his mouth failing in keeping him quiet. Only his groans, his throat-fucking, and your whimpers that you can no longer suppress. You're a little scared maybe he'll get too confident and tease you on your gagging, calling himself so big he made you cry.

He pulls your hair and he tries to get a hold of himself, catching his breath to gain stability. Before you can wipe the corners of your lips, he was standing up and taking your shirt off. He frames his chin with his index finger and his thumb, making you grow conscious of your own body. He had no reason to be looking so long, he'd seen you in a two piece more than one occasion. And he's going behind you, putting a finger at the waist of your shorts, bringing it down slowly until it lands by itself. He wraps your hair in a pony as the other grips your ass, a throaty growl escaping from his body.

He rotates you to the other side, an empty blank wall where you can see the fool you made of yourself. The argument ends here. The argument has ended since he had kissed you like no one had kissed you. You shouldn't have underestimated Taehyung, because he's now biting your shoulder as he slowly descends you to the wall. He hums, this close he can hear the tiny whimpers you try to keep to yourself, your fragile voice that can break once you open your mouth to say something. He can hear them all and he's aware of the power he has over you.

A hand holds both of yours behind your back, and once he has successfully taken your white underwear off, he's positioning the fat head of his cock right in your entrance.

"Make it easier for the both of us and just say it, y/n," he commands, his breath echoing in your ear sending voltage in your spine. He bites your ear and he whispers again, "Baby, please."

"What?"

Taehyung laughs at your adorable cluelessness. He doesn't answer. The next thing you hear was the expansion of his breaths, getting heavier and heavier it's almost a hum as he slides himself inside you.

"Taehyung," you say in a falsetto, "god, Tae, fuck!"

"Hmm, fucking tight. You're so fucking tight, y/n. Your pussy's taking my cock so fucking well," his knees bend to enter you deeply, this sharp thrust hitting a spot in you you never knew you'd feel, "maybe now you'd let me fuck you often, huh? You're gonna take my cock anytime you want, I'll fuck your brains out, ruin you and your cunt."

You respond with a soft murmur of you're not entirely sure what, because Taehyung was already fucking your brains out and you had no other thoughts but the feeling of his cock that slips in out of you so easily. He'd hit that one spot and you're going to release yet another cry and he'd enjoy every note of it. You're a mess with strands of your hair sticking to your face as the sweat trickle down your temples.

"Tell me what you want, y/n. Want it fast, baby?" He speeds up his thrusts, your ah's getting louder as he almost sends you to your high. "Or you want to cherish every inch of my cock?" He slows down which brings you wailing, whimpering his name over and over until you're no longer sure if it's even coming out right. His free hand lands on your ass and you gasp as if inhaling after suffocation. "Answer me," he speeds up his pace again, "answer me, y/n."

But you couldn't, there's nothing in your body that you trust right now especially your voice. He growls, unsatisfied with your silence which leads him to pulling your hair and pushing your back to the wall. You're almost embarrassed to see his eyes once more in the state you're in, overpowered by the despair of wanting nothing but to have Taehyung take you to your climax. Your eyes are begging for him, hell there were tears coming from them as he enters you again.

He cries out, "I want to fuck you all day long, would you let me do that?" He continues to carry you upward the wall and your weight would go down whenever he pulls himself from you. You nod and as he sees this, his head moves back to watch your body crumble before him, giving him no more than satisfaction. "Look at you desperate for my cock, such a fucking whore for me, aren't ya?"

In every "hm" he makes, he enters you harder and rougher, makes you want to stay silent. You bite your lip, feeling yourself come to a close. Your thighs pulling together like magnets, wrapping his waist while it shakes and he doesn't take one second to land your body on the couch, watching your orgasm hit you with spasms traveling your whole body. Taehyung wraps his cock in his hand, moving toward your mouth as he jerks himself off to his own orgasm. You take the spurts of his fluid landing on your tongue, his waist twitching while he groans for each drop of cum.

He sighs, falling onto the couch where your legs are still apart. He smiles at your nakedness, not giving a second thought as his middle finger enters you once more. Your body sits straight, only to land on the sofa's arm. "You're so fucking pretty," he commented, his body hovering over yours again. He kisses you.

"I can't handle," you say before Taehyung cuts you off with another kiss, and another, and another, his finger in and out of you which as the minute grows only turns from pain into pleasure again.

"You're going to," he whispers and he kisses you again, until you're crying his name and he just studies the way you react to his slender finger. "So pretty, so, so," he curves his finger resulting to your second orgasm, "pretty." He makes sure you see his savoring your juices in his mouth, and once he was done lapping up his finger he puts them inside your lips, tasting nothing but his saliva.

"Do you get it now, y/n?" He unclasps your bra, and from then on he ignores your eyes. "This is why I run out of condoms."

#kim taehyung #kth #taehyung smut #taehyung imagine #taehyung x reader #bts smut #bts fic #drabble #bts x reader #taehyung fic

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footballxposts · 3 years

Text

The Rest Of Our Lives - Mason Mount Series 🦋 (Chapter Three) Departure

Warnings: none but next chapter is smutty ;)

Recommended Listening: Forever by Labrinth (Slowed).

Taglist: @storyofavengers

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After releasing me from the hug I was immersed in, I quickly went to the bathroom whilst Mason waited patiently for me outside in the hallway. Once I had finished and came back out to meet him, the little smirk on his face made my heart so full. Maybe he really did miss me like he had said, but if so why didn’t he get in contact sooner? I guess he was afraid of the rejection but I really did wish he had still tried. At the end of the day, we only regret the chances we didn’t take. Of course I was still hurt by him, but I did want to give him his chance to explain everything, even if it meant we wouldn’t rekindle the friendship like it once was, and we would still go our separate ways again.

“You alright?,” he asked in a soft tone.

“Yeah..” I gave him a small smile before he nodded and took my hand leading me back upstairs to the nightclub’s centre-point. It was only at the top of the stairs that we were caught in our tracks by a stunning blonde-haired girl who had recognised my old best friend.

“Mase gorgeous, how are you? I haven’t heard from you or seen you in a while. I thought you might have fell of the face of the earth or something.” she piped up. His reaction was like a deer caught in headlights. Who the hell was this? I knew it wasn’t his girlfriend but she seemed to be someone who was at one stage more than just a friend like I was.

“Uh, hi Olivia, yeah..” he began to speak back to her. “I um, I’ve just been busy sorry, I’m good how are you?” he continued unconfidently, itching to get away from this current conversation.

“Too busy, huh?.” She raised her eyebrows and chuckled. I was standing there so awkwardly, not knowing what to do or where to look. She didn’t pay attention to me once, her eyes fixated on the brown-haired man beside me. “And here’s me thinking Mason Mount would never be too busy to reply or spend some time with me..” she gasped jokingly, but I knew she was being serious and I really didn’t like the vibe I was getting off her. My heart began shattering again out of jealousy. It’s amazing how you can go without seeing someone for years and even though they broke you, in an instant all the feelings and memories come rushing back. And that’s exactly what happened when I saw Mason on the street earlier this night. Even though it was /my/hand he was still holding, I still felt threatened.

“Awh no.. I mean.. I don’t know. I’m sorry as I said I’ve just been really busy,” was all he could come up with as a response, his palm becoming sweaty interlaced with my own. You know when you can feel your heart beating in another part of your body? I could feel his through his hand in my grasp.

“Hmm okay.” She said with barely any emotion behind it. “So who’s this little one then? Your new girl?” Her attention was now focused on me, now frozen with a tightness in my chest. I should have spoken up. I wanted to. But I was unable to. Thankfully, Mason covered for me.

“Uh, no she’s just a.. a friend..” he trailed off, so unsure of his answer and looking across at me, his eyes soliciting for an answer. Realistically, we were former friends. But within time, we both hoped we could drop the former. Slowly nodding as reassurance, I turned back to look at the the tall woman standing in front of me.

“Just friends?” her eyes widened with a smug look, pointing towards our intertwined fingers. I went to let go of Mason’s hand but his grip tightened, letting me know it was okay and he had the situation under control.

“Yeah this is my childhood best friend Sophie. I uh- I ran into her down outside the bathrooms and she wasn’t feeling the best so I said I’d bring her back upstairs and take her home. I just wanted to keep her close in case she fainted or anything.” he announced. Her eyes were now practically staring into my soul, but buying it, she just replied with an ‘oh’ and I signalled in agreement once again.

“Well, that was nice of you.” She smiled pompously. “Anyhoo, you have my number. Don’t be stranger.”

“Right.” Mason gulped and she winked walking away. Once gone, he turned to look at me again, apologising with his eyes. I bit my lip and shook my head to let him know that it was alright and that we didn’t have to talk about it. To be honest, I did want to talk about it. I wanted to know who she was. Was he sleeping with her? And if so was it going to progress any further? So many questions filled my mind but I tried to forget about them, telling myself that it was none of my business and it was before we had reconnected to night anyways.

Making our way over to Hollie, the look of disappointment across of her face said more than words ever could. She was relieved to see that I hadn’t gone missing, but she wasn’t too impressed that on my return I had brought back Mason with me. Giving me a moment to talk to her, Mason stepped away, resting his arm on the bar counter and facing the dance floor.

“What’s going on, are you okay? I went looking for you but I seen you talking to him from the top of the stairs and I didn’t want to interrupt.” She whispered sympathetically.

“Yeah I’m fine, thank you Hol. And I’m sorry I left you for so long.” I replied.

“No no, don’t be sorry. I was more than alright up here, I was talking to that bartender for ages anyways. I’m sorry Soph, I didn’t realise he would be here too. Is everything okay between you both?”

I wanted to say yes. But was everything okay between us both? I mean for now it was. I was giving him his opportunity to talk to me, but I hadn’t heard his side of the story yet nor had I forgiven him. Trying to find the right words to respond with, I took a deep breath.

“It’s not your fault Hollie, I was the one who said I wanted to come here in the first place. And I guess for now yeah. I’m giving him a chance to clear up everything and get some clarity on the whole thing. It doesn’t mean we’re going to go back to being how we were before but at least if we can be on civil terms.. I don’t know that’s got to be worth something right?” I asked, in hope of encouragement.

Hollie was the best friend a girl could ask for. She was more like a big sister despite me being older; a little dumb and clumsy at times, but no matter how many bad and possibly avoidable situations she put herself in, she would always make sure I didn’t do the same. She only wanted the best for me, as did I for her, so she basically made herself the crash test dummy and tried to advise me as much as possible. And she always made me laugh and smile without fail, after every heart break, every failure, basically anything terrible circumstance you can think of. She was always there.

“Well that’s your choice and I think it’s fair enough.” She gave me a fragile smile. “Just be smart and don’t let him hurt you again Soph. I seen how much pain and anguish you were in tonight and I never want to see you like that again. It’s alright that you want some light shed and some closure on the situation, but don’t let him blindside you and destroy your heart again, okay?” she raised her brows, placing both hands either side of my shoulders to make sure I was listening. Nodding to let her know I understood, she gave me a full warm smile back.

“Okay, so I think I’m going back to Dylan’s house once he’s finished his shift”. She added, referring to the bartender who was now waving at us. “But I don’t know what your plans are so I don’t have to if you don’t want me to and you need me.”

“No no, you go. I’ll find out what Mase and I are doing and once I’m back home and safe I’ll give you a text and let you know. If I need you at any stage I’ll call you.” I said before giving her a hug and getting ready to leave.

“Okay, I’ll do the same!” She mumbled, and with that I rejoined Mason who had finished informing his teammates and friends what was happening. Putting an arm around my waist, we had left the nightclub once again with crisp and fresh night air.

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Quick A/N: AHH I’m so excited for the next chapter you guys are gonna love it I hope! Also, the reason I put listening recommendations is to help you all imagine what I’m visualising when I right my stories and ideas! Music basically helps me set the scene. When you’re listening to the song attached to this post, I want y’all to try visualise yourself walking in slow-mo through a crowded nightclub holding hands with THE Mason Mount. Everyone looking at you both leaving, but he’s looking back every so often just to make sure you’re okay. Just imagine. That’s all :)

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bbywonu · 3 years

Text

secret santa. jaehyun.

masterlist

a/n: just a little fluff for christmas <3 hope everyone has a safe and awesome holiday break !

requested: no <3

summary: jaehyun and y/n have a little crush on one another, but both are too oblivious to notice it, that is until he becomes her secret santa.

word count: 1.4k

“He’s going to hate it. I love it!” Hye-Jin said from beside me as she held up a “World’s Best Dad” mug. Two weeks ago we were told to pick names out of a cup to play Secret Santa. Fortunately, I got an easy pick, seeing as I already knew what the person wanted. Unfortunately for Hye-Jin, she got her ex-boyfriend Suk, who had just previously broken up with her the day before.

“Hye-Jin! You can’t give him that! He’s going to know it’s you! Plus, he’s going to actually think he’s a dad.” I shook my head as I chuckled in disbelief. Sometimes she really made me question her, but there is nothing that I would change about her.

“Oh, come on! It will be hilarious. Besides, he was the one who had the audacity to break up with me, as if he was the one who had just gotten cheated on!” She scoffed as she stuffed her Secret Santa gift back in the bag.

I just laughed as I cocked my head to the side. On one side, he would probably be sweating pins and needles if he even for a quick second thought that he could possibly be a dad. As for the other side, I kind of liked the cruel gift that Hye-Jin had bought, as he was an awful person and an even worse boyfriend.

“Hello? Earth to Y/n. Are you in there? I bet you were thinking about Jaehyun again.” She gave me a smirk as she winked at me. She knew that I had had a small little school girl crush on Jaehyun, and that she always bugged me to do something about it. To be fair, I just didn’t think that it was worth it to confess my feelings to him. We had talked more than a few times, maybe even earning the title of friends, but I always felt that if I confessed to him then I would get rejected, so I refrained from doing so.

“No, Hye-Jin. You, more than anybody, should know that that ship has sailed.” I looked up at her only to be met with her rolling her eyes at my statement.

“Oh, come on Y/n, I bet both of you are going to kiss on New Years, just wait!” She shot me a mischievous grin. I rolled my eyes back at her in response as she stuck out her tongue.

“Anyways, I’ve got to get home. My mom is coming over for dinner tonight.” She said as she began to pack up her work space.

We said our goodbyes as I decided it was probably time for me to head out as well. Once I had packed up all of my belongings, I began walking down the cold corridor, making sure not to bump into anyone on the way out. My plan turning sour when a body suddenly collided into my right side, knocking me back a few steps.

“Sorry! I’m so sorry Y/n. I just didn’t realize how fast I was going.” A breathless Jaehyun stood in front of me, with his arms intertwining mine, in an effort to help me from falling. We stayed like this for a few moments more before I realized that there were people staring at us.

“Uhm.” I said as I looked around and then to the ground, trying to find anywhere but him to look, as I was feeling quite awkward. There had always been awkward moments when we would talk but they usually wouldn’t last very long, thankfully none as bad as this.

“Oh, right. I just saw you leaving and I remembered that I had to give you your Secret Santa gift.” He said as he rubbed the back of his neck looking at me.

I gave him a lopsided smile as I looked at him curiously. In this moment, he looked like an adorable little puppy. I found myself giving him a small smile before realizing what he had said.

“Wait, what?” I said as I let out a laugh. “Do you know how Secret Santa works?”

“Well, n-no. Not-not really.” He blushed as he gave me a small smile. I let out a laugh seeing as he had just ruined the surprise factor of the game, which I didn’t mind. I was glad that he was my Secret Santa, but I was more curious to see what he had gotten me.

“You’re not supposed to tell me silly.” I grinned at him as I ruffled his hair for added effect, making him let out a low chuckle as he mumbled an apology. I looked down at the wrapped gift that was in my hands. I began to tear at the gift wrap before being stopped by him.

“Wait! Don’t open it here!” He said as he held both of his hands out signaling for me to stop. He looked slightly in a panic as his face turned a shade darker. “Just trust me, I think that it will be more meaningful if you open it at home.” He shifted on his feet as he started acting more nervous.

I gave him a sideways glance at his sudden odd behavior, but agreed to only open it when I arrived at my apartment. Though, I have to say that this was the first time I had ever seen him this way before. It was kind of strange to see him in this kind of light, though he still looked as handsome as ever.

When I got home, I immediately went to my bedroom as I put the box anxiously down in front of me. The whole way home I was pondering ideas of what had made Jaehyun so nervous to give me the gift he had so desperately wanted to give me. Maybe he didn’t think that I would like his gift? I crossed that off of my list, since he should know me pretty well by now.

I began to tear the paper without a second thought, excited at the thought of Jaehyun’s gift to me. As I ripped off the paper, a small card fell out as it revealed a slender black box behind it. I picked up the card as I opened the box. I gasped as it revealed an elegant silver heart-shaped locket inside. I glanced over the locket once more as I quickly opened the card.

Y/n,

I remember the first time you started working here. You had this special glow about you, one that I couldn’t really put my finger on. I knew that I had to get to know you as soon as the staff introduced you. It took me two months to even get the courage to talk to you. As soon as I started talking to you, I regretted that I hadn’t talked to you sooner.

I remember the first time we talked. I know I didn’t show it, but I was nervous to talk to you. You were and still are the prettiest person I have ever seen. I knew I fell for you when your eyes shined when you smiled. I knew I fell for you by how kind you are to everyone around you. I knew I fell for you when you made me stumble on my words even after we had already met. I won’t admit it, but I probably fell for you the first time I ever laid my eyes upon you.

I remember the first time I ever saw you upset. You had just had a bad day at work and to make it worse, you had spilled coffee on yourself. It hurt me inside knowing that you weren’t having the day that you deserved. I had given you my sweatshirt to help cover it up, and even when you were pouting you were still such an angel.

I remember when you told me how much you loved your family. You told me that your grandma had given you a locket before she had passed, and how you were devastated that you had misplaced it. I could see the sadness in your eyes and I felt that little ping in my chest again. I had always planned on buying you this locket, but the Secret Santa was just an added bonus.

Y/n, I know this is forward, but would you like to get hot chocolate sometime?

- Jaehyun

I looked up as a tear sat in the corner of my eye. No one had ever written me anything as meaningful as this. I was in shock as I held the locket in my hands, scanning over the letter again. All this time I had thought that my feelings for him were one-sided. I knew what I had to do as I picked up my phone and sent a text to Jaehyun.

“I could really use a hot chocolate right about now :)”

#jaehyun imagines #nct imagines #jaehyun imagine #nct scenarios #jaehyun scenarios #nct fluff #jaehyun fluff #jung jaehyun #nct blurbs #jaehyun blurbs

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radiorenjun · 3 years

Text

I Don't Need It

• Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader

• Genre: Angst, Comedy, Fluff

• Na Jaemin despised the idea of soulmates, he wanted to fight against fate for choosing his soulmate for him. Even if it means his stubborn childhood best friend wouldn’t stop trying to make him accept about the similar tattoos on their wrists.

• Warnings: mental breakdowns, heartbreak, rejection, major angst, arguments, flashbacks, physical injuries, fighting, underaged drinking, panic attacks, slight mentions of death. things are going to get much better from this chapter on. Or is it?

• Wordcount : 9.2k

• Masterlist here!

• Chapters: XV, XVI

“Oh dear Lord. Na Jaemin once listened to What Is Love by Twice and took it way to heart,” Hyuck tsked, shaking his head in disappointment, earning a few threatening glares from his older friends as they watch the lovesick boy sulk in his seat on the lunch table. “What? Am I wrong?” he asked, lifting a brow at them with an innocent shrug.

“Fuck off, Hyuck,” Jaemin groaned, waving his friend off as he stared back at his phone screen with an empty expression. “Damn, Captain out here using the government name. What’s up with him?” Younghoon asked, walking up to the sulking boy with a towel over his shoulder, passing the cloth to Jeno. “He got into a huge argument with y/n the other day at the library,” Donghyuck explained, sighing as he patted his friend’s back sympathetically.

“Yikes, I take it that it didn’t go so well?” Jihoon asked, wincing as he examined Jaemin’s seemingly lifeless state. The boy in question currently resembled a kicked puppy, his eyes held no emotion other than sorrow and heartbreak. Jaemin looked so ‘down in the dumps’ (as their coach had said before giving him a small time out) you could see his soul slowly leaving his body.

“No shit, dude. She told him to fuck off,” Hyuck hissed, wincing at the thought of his own soulmate telling him to get out of his life. “Ouch, for real?” Younghoon scrunched his nose, looking down at his captain who’s expression darkened as he looked down at his dirty sneakers. “I didn’t know Y/n could say that to the Na Jaemin, himself. Are you sure you aren’t just hallucinating things, Capt?” he asked once again, looking down at the boy before him.

“He had it coming, really. Have you seen the awkward moments we had to go through because of how they keep pulling and pushing each other away? Damn, it was like I was watching a shitty anime adaptation on netflix,” Hyuck shook his head, tutting under his breath. Jaemin slowly raised his head up at the two boys towering over him, staring daggers into their souls.

“I would very much appreciate it if you guys could stop gossiping about me like I’m not listening right in front of you and fuck off. Let me mourn for the rest of my life in peace, please,” Jaemin rolled his eyes, leaning the side of his face against his knuckles as he propped his elbow up on the table. “He’s got it bad, huh?” Chani commented, walking up to the boys and leaning his arm over Hyuck’s shoulder.

“Definitely,” Hyuck agreed, nodding.

“Lee Haechan, you’re not helping either,” Jeno rolled his eyes, crossing his arms against his chest. “Well what am I supposed to do, man? I gave him advice and all he did was just talk and do little things. Jaemin, listen, to win a girl’s heart you gotta go big or go home,” Hyuck advised with an enthusiastic tone, receiving nothing else but a heavy sigh from the said boy.

Jeno gave out an annoyed groan, snapping his head around to look at his best friend. “So what are you going to do now? Are you really going to leave her alone?” he asked hesitantly, watching Jaemin’s sulking state carefully. Jaemin hummed, shrugging nonchalantly, pursing his lips in thought. “Well, if that’s what she wants then, I guess I have no choice,” he mumbled.

“What? Really?”

“Look, what do you want me to do? I fucked up. I tried to fix things by small actions and waited for her to be more comfortable with me and I still fucked that up because I couldn’t be patient and time is running out. We’re graduating soon, I tried to talk things out and I still lost control of my emotions and somehow managed to fuck it up without the slightest bit of effort,” Jaemin snapped, running a hand through his hair and tugging on the roots out of frustration.

“I get it, I fucked up. I don’t need to be constantly reminded that I lost my soulmate and I’m going to be alone forever,” he raised his hands up in defeat, groaning. “The least I can do right now is to leave her alone to have some time to herself. Maybe if I do that she won’t hate me as much.”

Jaemin was really hopeless at this point. He didn’t know what to do. He knew he had to do something to try and make things better, but he fucked up too much this time. He believed that the relationship you two have now is unrepairable. He screwed up his chances of making it up to you once again, and now he’s just going to sulk around until he gets over it.

Jeno and Hyuck exchanged similar glances of sympathy, sighing heavily. “You can’t just give up like that, dude. You just gotta try a bit harder,” Younghoon slung an arm over the younger boy’s shoulders, giving him an encouraging smile. Jaemin pursed his lips, hanging his head with his doe eyes staring holes into his shoes before shaking his head ‘no’.

“I can’t. I really fucked up this one, you don’t even know,” Jaemin felt his heart ache at the memory of your exhausted expression that was now engraved into his skull. The way your eyes no longer held the adoration you had for him for so long. He internally wondered why he didn’t notice the sparkles in your eyes had faded whenever he came into your line of vision. Moreover, he regretted the fact that he didn’t cherish the moments when he could gaze into the adoration you held for him in your heart.

“I made her turn into the old me. God, I fucked up bad,” he groaned, rubbing his face with his hand in distress. Younghoon sucked in his lips, gazing up at the two boys, widening his eyes and nodding at the distressed boy beside him, gesturing for them to help him comfort him. Jeno clicked his tongue, crossing his arms against his chest as he shook his head in disappointment.

“Are you really going to give up just because of that?” Jeno deadpanned, furrowing his brows. “What do you want me to do man?” Jaemin peered up at his best friend, letting out a puff of breath. “I really don’t know what to do anymore, at this point I should just fucking give up. She won’t even give me a chance, anyway. What’s the point anymore?” Jaemin claimed, his eyes half-lidded.

He felt tired. He just wanted to go back home and sleep until his problems go away. But he knew he couldn’t. He had to do something to fix this, he wanted to do something to fix this. But he was at loss, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He was already on thin ice, if he fucked up one more time, he wouldn’t know what’s going to happen next. And frankly he didn’t want to think or risk it.

“No shit, sherlock.” Jeno scoffed, rolling his eyes incredulously.

“You repeatedly hurt her for two years straight, asshole. I wouldn’t forgive you if I were her either,” he added with a heavy sigh, shaking his head at the younger boy who just gave him a glare in return. “Thanks for pointing that out, Captain Obvious. What else do you want me to do, huh? Climb the Eiffel tower?” Jaemin groaned, slumping against his seat.

“Then stop fucking sulking,” Jeno scolded. “You know very well sulking about your problems isn’t going to make anything better. You know that better than anyone, captain.”

“Don’t use the ‘captain’ bullshit on me now, Jeno. I’m not in the mood,” Jaemin looked away from his friend, his eyes scanning the lockers in front of him. “Well, you better be in the mood sooner or later. The final game’s coming up, you better get your head straight before Coach actually gets serious and kicks you off the team.” Jeno scoffed, earning glares from Hyuck and Renjun.

That finally put Jaemin back into his rightful state of mind. He had been working for the position all throughout his sophomore and junior year, he knew he wasn’t in the best state to focus on anything right now but he couldn’t give up the position he had been working oh-so-very hard for the past two years. ‘God. What the fuck am I suppose to do?’

Younghoon sighed, placing a hand on his friend’s knee, patting it. “The two of you are literally hopeless. But I’m happy that Y/n rejected your dumb ass,” he commented with a tight-lipped smile. Jaemin turned to his friend slowly, who wiggled his eyebrows at him in an attempt to lighten the mood. “I’m being serious, by the way.” Younghoon added, retracting his hand.

“Gee, thank you for expressing your thoughts, Mr. Huang,” Hyuck chuckled, slinging an arm around the boy’s shoulders. “Hey, hear me out first!” Younghoon exclaimed, pushing his arm off of his shoulders with a roll of his eyes. “Listen, I’m happy she rejected you because it would be pretty stupid for her to just forgive you all of a sudden despite the fact that you haven’t learned from your mistakes.” He explained.

Jaemin furrowed his brows in confusion at the boy’s words, “what’s that supposed to mean?” he retorted in an almost offended tone. “I don’t know if you realise this yet, Jaemin. But it seems that you truly haven’t learned from your stupid mistakes. She told you countless times she doesn’t want you to bother her and you did the exact opposite. You didn’t give her any time to slowly let you back into her life,” Jihoon shrugged simply, finally gathering the courage to speak up.

“So what you’re saying is that it’s okay for her to barge into my life doing all that soulmate crap for the past two years and I’m not allowed to do the same?” Jaemin asked, raising a brow at him as a scowl stretched across his lips. Jeno groaned in frustration, raising a hand to rub his temples to keep himself from snapping at the oblivious boy.

“See! He doesn’t even get it!” Jeno exclaimed, rubbing his forehead as he stared hopelessly at the boy sitting down in front of him. “Dude, you can’t just walk into someone’s life after hurting her twenty-four seven for two years straight, thinking that you would be forgiven in an instant. Hell, if we were Y/n we wouldn’t even want to look at you,” Jeno elaborated, taking a step back and crossing his arms against his chest.

“You can’t blame the poor girl for being cautious. You’re supposed to be her soulmate, the one who’s supposed to make her happy. You’re doing a shitty job at doing so, if I say so myself. If anything I’m proud of her for saying no to you so kindly, if I were her I would tell you to get out of my life permanently. You’re making her lose her trust in you even more as time goes on. Get that through your thick skull, you asshole.” Jeno spat, his eyes narrowing at the younger boy with rage glossing over his pupils.

Jaemin’s friends always considered you as their sister, they always cared about you and they always try to defend you and Jaemin whenever they can. But they knew this was getting a little bit too far. Your graduation ceremony was coming up soon. Prom was coming up. The final game is coming up. Not to mention the finals afterwards.

Everyone was more than beyond stressed in their own problems. And the fact that Jaemin was sulking about his problems instead of doing something about it was pissing them off to no end. The fact that the two of you were visibly hurting because of it was pissing them off. They wanted things to go back to the way they used to. But they knew things can’t end that way. Not anymore.

The least they can do now was to try and get Jaemin’s mind to think straight again.

“By the way you’re acting got me thinking, are you actually doing this because you’re starting to like y/n or is it because you just want to hurt her even more?” Jeno asked (almost growled), his tone lowering as he glared daggers into Jaemin’s figure.

“Jeno, wait, you’re-”

Jaemin shot up from his seat, standing up in front of his best friend with his eyes wide in shock. “What the fuck Jeno? You know very well I would never hurt y/n. At least on fucking purpose, you know that better than anyone. Why the hell are you even saying that?” Jaemin shot back, his eyes wide in shock at Jeno’s false assumption. Jeno’s gaze remained unwavering, taking a deep breath before continuing to speak again.

“Are you sure about that Jaemin? Because it seems to me all you’ve done so far is hurting y/n. And by what you said about Y/n not forgiving you made it sound like you’re purposely doing this because you wanted revenge against Y/n for ‘bothering’ you the past two years. Tell me, Jaemin. Are you doing this because you feel bad? Are you doing this because you actually like her? Or are you doing this because you want pay back?”

Every word that spilled out of Jeno’s mouth was like a slap from reality. Of course Jaemin likes you! Of course he feels bad! He just said those things because he was just furious with himself. Right? He was just frustrated that things haven’t been going very well lately with your relationship that he couldn’t help but make it sound like he was only doing this for revenge.

Right?

“Of course I fucking like her,” Jaemin shot back rather hesitantly, the anger in his eyes dissipating. Instead, sadness and confusion had taken place across his features. Truth be told, he was quite confused about his own feelings. He longed for your presence. He wanted to talk to you again. He wanted to give you soft cuddles again. He wanted to shower you with his love just like he always did back when the two of you were still kids.

But yet again, he has been hurting you alot. No, scratch that, he’s been hurting you with every selfish step he made. Does he really feel something for you or is this his way of getting you a taste of your own medicine? He can’t possibly-

“Get your shit together, Jaemin. If all you’re going to do is hurt her, you might as well just leave her life the same way she left yours months ago. And if you want things to be on good terms again, you might want to think a bit more,” Jeno spat, walking away to his locker, leaving the boy lost in his thoughts.

“Well, that was surely something unexpected.”

“I know!” you groaned, spreading your arms out on the table with a frustrated groan, covering your face with your hands in embarrassment. “I don’t know what got into me. I was on the brink of crying that day. In a library too! Thank god it was empty, oh god.” you rambled, a look of pure horror spread across your features.

“Okay, okay. Calm down, just- repeat what you said to him just one more time,” Hyunjin coaxed, showing you his index finger. “I refuse to repeat myself, I rather bask in the cringe of my own previous words. Good day,” you gave Hyunjin a bittersweet smile before frowning abruptly and leaned your chin on your arm, jutting out your bottom as you recalled your conversation with Jaemin last week.

Speaking of Jaemin, he hasn’t made any efforts to talk to you again since then. He stopped sending you random chocolates in your lockers and small pebbles with small doodles drawn sloppily with a posca marker. He stopped trying to make small talk with you. And considering you were now avoiding him even more than you already are, you haven’t seen him much unless you pass by the school field to go to the teacher’s office to get something.

Were you a bit too harsh with your words? This is what you wanted right? You wanted him to leave your relationship as it is before anything bad happens to ruin it even more than it already has. But yet again, what was the point? Your relationship with Jaemin now is almost as non-existent. And you didn’t know what to feel about it.

You tugged the sleeve of your sweater down to take a peek of your hidden tattoo, a small frown on your lips as your eyes scan the small drawing that lead to all of this mess. Did you make the right choice when you rejected him? Was yelling at him a bit too far? He is your soulmate after all, maybe you should’ve given him a chance?

“Stop it,” Renjun chuckled, reaching from across the table to flick your forehead

You grimaced, looking up at your group of friends with a perplexed expression. “I’m literally just breathing right now,” you deadpanned, rubbing the spot he flicked with a small pout. “We can hear the gears inside your head, you’re thinking way too loud, y/n.” Yeeun commented with an amused smile, wrapping her arm around yours.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about Jaemin,” you sighed, giving her a half-hearted smile. “As usual,” your friend chuckled, rolling their eyes at you. You pursed your lips, “shut up. I kind of feel guilty for what happened back at the library now.” You pulled your arm away from Yeeun’s hold with a small pout on your face.

“Why the hell would you feel guilty? You should feel proud of yourself,” Renjun furrowed his brows, opening the milk carton he bought earlier before school had started. “I don’t know, I just feel guilty? I never really snapped at Jaemin like that before. Or anyone else,” you shrugged, picking off the chocolate from Hyunjin’s dessert box with the spoon beside you.

“Hey! Get your own!” Hyunjin exclaimed, slapping your spoon away from his box with his own. “Stealing from a friend tastes way better, sorry not sorry,” you grinned, shoving the spoon inside your mouth with a small hum. “We’re kinda proud of you for standing up for yourself like that though,” Renjun mumbled under his breath.

You felt your heart ache slightly at the thought. “I mean,” you pulled the spoon out of your mouth and clicked your tongue in thought. “I’m not one to back out of confrontation, so I’m kind of proud of myself for saying no as well. But I just really feel guilty for doing so, is it because he’s my soulmate?” you frowned, leaning close to take another bite of Hyunjin’s dessert.

“It’s normal to feel bad. It shows that despite everything he’s done, you still like him. Whether it’d be because of the soulmate system or because of your own feelings, you still like him. It’s normal to be angry at someone and feel like shit about it afterwards. We’re here for you,” Yeeun leaned her head against your shoulder and rubbed your back affectionately.

You looked up, watching as your friends gave you encouraging smiles, showing you that they’re here to back you up no matter what. “We won’t be mad either even if you did say yes. Because, let’s be real. If my soulmate finally realised they’re being a piece of shit, I would snap at them and forgive them when I’m ready,” Renjun chuckled, continuing on munching down his salad. “We’ll always be here to back you up, even if it doesn’t seem like it,” Hyunjin nodded in agreement.

“Thanks guys, I really appreciate it,” you sighed, mustering up the strength to give them a genuine smile. But alas, the empty feeling in your chest didn’t disappear. Not even a bit. But it made you feel a bit at ease knowing you have someone to turn to whenever you need it.

You missed him. It wasn’t a secret among you and your friends. You missed Jaemin even if you didn’t want to. You missed the happiness bubbling up inside of you whenever he comes into your line of vision, you missed the butterflies swarming in your stomach whenever you hear his voice. You missed how he would complain about how his tummy hurts when he accidentally drank milk at the most random of moments.

You missed how despite how he found your affections and small antics extremely bothersome, he never failed to do the littlest things to show that he still cared about you. You couldn’t even count how many times you would fall asleep to the scent of his hoodie whenever he accidentally left it in your room. You couldn’t count how many times you wrote small love letters at the back of your notebook whenever he pops up in your head.

You couldn’t count how many times you would crack a small smile whenever you caught a small glimpse of his.

It hurts to think that you lost your chance of ever feeling the same happiness you did before. At least, not in real life considering you’ve been having too many dreams of Jaemin. You’d wake up all happy and hyper then in a minute your mood will spiral down like a toilet bowl when reality hits you smack on the face. Though, you knew very well that you should just move on considering college was just around the corner.

You didn’t want to think about this anymore.

“Hey y/n, you got a minute?”

Your head shot up from your phone, eyes wide in surprise to see none other than Lee Jeno himself. “Jeno?” you leaned your head to the side a bit, wondering why he was standing right in front of you when he was supposed to be in practice right now with Jaemin and the others. “Shouldn’t you be at practice?” you asked, pulling the strap of your bag that was slipping off your shoulder.

“Coach cancelled today to cool us all off before the game next week,” Jeno shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets with a small shrug. “Right, the game! Good luck with that, by the way,” you beamed, eyes wide in realization when you realized that the last game for the guys was next week before exams starts. “You’re not coming?” he asked, leaning his head to the side in confusion.

You wanted to. You really really do. You always had a front row seat so you can see Jaemin play at a close view. You remembered how you always cheered enthusiastically for him, Jeno and Hyuck back then, handing them cool water bottles afterwards. Putting up a bright smile as you watched Jaemin stare back at you with annoyance, his eyes showing how much he didn’t want you there. You remembered pretending to be oblivious to the sympathetic looks Jeno and Hyuck would always share whenever you attempted to make small talk with him.

“Oh nope, I’m not. I’ll probably be napping or studying since finals are only a month away,” you lied, shaking your head with a small soft smile. You, knowing yourself, you’re probably going to watch one of your friend’s lives during the game and cheer in your room so you don’t have to see Jaemin in real life after the argument that went down last weekend.

“You know you don’t need to lie right? I can’t count how many times you complain about how you studied a day before your exams,” Jeno chuckled, rolling his eyes as he nudged your shoulder with his teasingly. “Shut up, I spend most of my time doing last minute homework. I need breaks too sometimes, you know,” you scoffed, pushing on his arm with a dramatic huff.

“Look at the bright side, no matter how little you study, you magically ace it without effort,” Jeno joked as you walked towards the vending machine in front of your school lobby. “There’s this thing called praying. Or satanic rituals a day before the exams,” you snickered, pulling your wallet out as you examined the food displayed through the transparent glass.

“You want anything? I’ll pay,” you asked, turning to your taller friend with a soft smile, who shook his head ‘no’ at you. You shrugged as if to say ‘your loss’ before taking out a small bill and pushing it through the tiny slot. “So, what did you want to talk about, Lee Jeno?” you asked with a rather teasing tone. “You never talk to me in private unless there’s something you want,” you commented with a small snicker, pressing on the small button on the side of the machine.

“Well, I hope you don’t mind me talking about this. It’s about Jaemin?” Jeno asked in a rather hesitant tone, sucking in his bottom lip nervously.

You both heard the can drop into the opening slot at the bottom of the machine with a loud ‘clank!’ When he finished your sentence, you swore it sounded way too similar to how your heart dropped into your stomach at the mention of the brown boy. “Oh,” you replied almost inaudibly, kneeling down to grab your drink out of the slot.

‘Say no. Are you seriously going to talk about the guy you just rejected after 2 years of pining for him to his best friend?’

You gulped silently, grabbing your drink as you took a deep breath to compose yourself. You stood up and gave him a weak smile, “what about him?” you asked, wincing internally at how weak your voice became at the thought of talking about the boy you were so whipped about. “You know you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Jeno must’ve noticed how uncomfortable you felt when he brought him up as he cleared his throat.

“No, no. It’s fine, I’m okay. I’m okay with talking about him. It’s just Jaemin,” you shrugged, trying to appear as nonchalant as you possibly could. “You sure?”Jeno asked, furrowing his brows as he stuck his hands in his pockets nervously. “It’s really okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” Jeno gave you a kind smile, one that almost made you take back what you said, however your pride got the best of you.

“It’s fine, really,” you nodded, giving him a reassuring smile as you internally yelled at yourself for not being honest to your dear friend.

“I don’t want to invade on your personal issues with Jaemin or anything, but-” Jeno paused, furrowing his brows as he attempted to think of a nicer way to express his statement. “It’s pretty obvious that the two of you are in a rough patch and I don’t know if you noticed but Jaemin is pretty stressed out about this,” he grimaced as he realised that his words were leading to literally nowhere.

“I’m sure you’re pretty stressed out as well, it’s pretty evident considering the tension between the two of you is way more than obvious and-”

“Jeno, where are you going with this?” your tone turned emotionless as you let out a heavy sigh, looking down at your shoes before looking up at your friend with eyes void of emotion, rubbing them with the palm of your hand. “I’m sure whatever you want to say is important but if you can’t tell I just want to go home and sleep until I have to get up,” you explained with a small smile.

Jeno’s eyes widened a bit, surprised at how your bright demeanor vanished in a few minutes without leaving a single trace. ‘So Mrs. Dong was right about soulmates unrequited love being emotionally and mentally draining, then.’ Jeno thought to himself as he sucked his lips in to think of a way to express his thoughts without causing you to run off.

‘Fuck it.’

“I know you probably don’t trust him anymore or you’re probably afraid of getting hurt after everything he’s done. But if- As if to say that Jaemin were to try woo-ing you over one more time, without fucking up that is, would you give him another chance?” he asked, his tone turning serious as his eyes hardened and stared into yours as if to spot any trace of you lying.

‘Oh, so this is what this is about.’ you thought.

“Did Jaemin put you up to this?” you asked, rubbing your palm against your temple as you felt the emptiness in your chest being replaced by non-other than the dull ache that is heartache. “Did he not get the message to leave our relationship, whatever’s left of it anyway, alone before it gets worse?” you sighed, chuckling slightly at the thought of Jaemin’s stubborn ass asking Jeno for a favor. Grimacing at how mean you sounded.

“No- no! Not at all, I asked you on my own accords. Jaemin has nothing to do with me asking you this-hell! He doesn’t even know that I’m here talking to you right now, trust me,” Jeno exclaimed, raising his hand up and using the other to cross his heart, symbolizing that he promised you that he was telling you the truth. You smiled a bit at this.

“Why are you the one asking? Not to be rude, Jeno, but this doesn’t concern you,” you raised your brow, taking a step back as you twisted your drink open with curiosity. “I know, it’s none of my concern but honestly watching the two of you go on trying to solve this by yourselves is like watching the Twilight series except there’s no weird fantasy creatures and a werewolf falling in love with an infant child,” Jeno blurted out, scratching the back of his head, chuckling at his own little joke.

“Oh,” you replied, letting out a small chuckle at his joke before your smile faltered. “Well what do you suggest I do? So far I’ve only been receiving advice from people that have heard only my side of the story. Considering you’ve heard Jaemin’s side of the story, what do you actually suggest I do?” you asked, stuffing your thumb in your pocket as you sipped your drink, lowering your gaze to your shoes nervously.

“I suggest you follow my advice earlier. If Jaemin ever decides to try again and not fuck it up, I would advise you to consider giving him a chance,” Jeno shrugged. “I’m not saying that all the things he did were okay. Hell no, if I were you I would totally kick his ass for taking your kindness and affection for granted, I assure you. But Jaemin has been... trying really hard,” Jeno explained, sadness flashing against his eyes.

“Trying hard?” you asked in a whispered tone, looking up at your friend with slight confusion. “Yeah!” he replied with a small bright smile. “You may not know this but Jaemin spends his time now wondering about what small cheesy things he could do to make you smile. Ever since you ghosted him, he’s been thinking about you alot. It was almost annoying.” he giggled, remembering the countless times Jaemin’s face would flush red whenever he realised he was thinking about you back when he was still in denial.

“You may not notice it considering he always does this whenever you aren’t around. Despite the fact that Jaemin was always an asshole to you, he’s always think of you twenty four seven. It’s always ‘y/n would’ve liked this’, ‘this is something y/n would hate’, ‘y/n would’ve done this’, y/n this and y/n that. The idiot was whipped as hell but his stubborn ass didn’t realise how much he actually cares for you until now.”

“Remember how you would leave him small letters in his locker or give it to him straight up before running off because you forgot to do your homework and you needed to do it before the bell rings? I swear, he always had this lovesick smile on his face when he watched you sprinting down the hall yelling at people to get out of the way,” Jeno chuckled, recalling the moments when he and Hyuck would spot Jaemin smiling to himself in front of his locker as he read the letters you send him every time you passed his locker.

“That’s not- I don’t believe that,” you shook your head, not believing your ears. This couldn’t be the Jaemin you knew. You remembered vividly of how his eyes held no love whatsoever whenever you came into his line of vision, the way the happiness evaporated from his pupils the moment he turned his head at your figure. The angry glares he would give you whenever you do something small yet cheesy.

“Don’t you remember? When I gave one of my letters to him in person, he threw it away without a second thought. You saw it with your own eyes, Jeno. You can’t lie like that to me, that hurts, dude,” you frowned, clenching your fists as you recalled how he gave you the sweetest smile he could muster when you gave your small letter to him at one moment. And the next moment, you saw him crumpling it up in his hands and throwing it to the nearest trash can at the corner of your eyes.

“Well, that was kind of our fault,” Jeno frowned, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “We swear, we didn’t know he would act like that in front of you. I swear he would have those wide smiles whenever he read your letters and occasionally Hyuck and I would tease the hell out of him. Usually he would just shove the letters back in his locker or something, we didn’t expect him to throw it out in front of you,” Jeno looked down, his expression filled with guilt as he gripped the saddle of his bag.

“If we hadn’t teased him like that in front of you, maybe he wouldn’t have done that,” he mumbled under his breath. You stared at him in disbelief, it was like you were hearing about a completely different version of Jaemin. Yet you couldn’t be sure if Jeno was telling the truth. Jeno wasn’t one to tell lies, he was always the mature one in complicated situations. But you knew sometimes he would lie for the best.

“I’m sorry, I find it very hard to believe you right now,” you bit your lip nervously, a dull ache appearing in your heart as you realised how sad you sounded. ‘Why is it so hard to believe that Jaemin would do something that nice? Why can’t I believe it? Jeno can’t be lying, right?’ you thought to yourself, feeling your heart sink at the fact that you couldn’t bring yourself to the fact that Jaemin could actually harbor feelings for you deep down even though he doesn’t realise it.

“Hyuck took this picture a couple of months ago, that was before you stopped giving him letters, I think,” Jeno clicked his tongue, pulling out his phone and unlocking it before opening his chats with Donghyuck, scrolling up until he found the picture he sent before handing his phone to you. You furrowed your brows, holding his phone in your hand as you read their messages closely.

It was indeed two months ago. Donghyuck had sent Jeno a picture of Jaemin’s locker. You zoomed in on the picture, spotting a stack of letters made from the pages of your notebook with dates on them at the corner of his messy locker. You could see a few were slightly crumpled as if the textbooks had something to do with it, but you could recognize that posca yellow marker anywhere.

Your eyes widened slightly as you felt your heartbeat pick up its pace inside of your chest. “That’s pretty nice of him,” you mumbled, you didn’t have the strength to keep up your emotionless facade as you couldn’t help but crack up a small smile. Handing Jeno back his phone, you gave him a tight-lipped smile, leaning your head to the side in curiosity. “Why are you trying so hard to convince me to give him a chance, exactly?” you asked, letting out a small puff of breath.

Jeno shrugged, giving you the same tight lipped smile as he shoved his phone in his pockets. “As I said before, I’m tired of watching this whole story slowly leading to an end where the two of you end up being miserable simps for the rest of your lives,” he joked, scratching the back of his head as he gave you one of his iconic eye smiles. You let out a small sad chuckle, looking down at your shoes in thought for a small moment before looking back up at your friend.

“I’ll think about it. How about that?” you nodded sadly, you weren’t lying. You really did need time to think about all this. “Of course, I guess I’ll see you later?” Jeno nodded, sucking in his bottom lip as you waved him goodbye. “I’ll see you around, yeah,” you gave him a polite smile before walking away from the taller boy to the bus stop. Completely oblivious to the fact that Jeno had kept his fingers crossed behind his back while biting his lip, wishing desperately for Jaemin to not screw things up this time.

‘Well that’s definitely uncalled for,’ you thought as you fished your phone out of your bag to check the time. You didn’t know what to feel, you didn’t know what to think of this situation. You were confused to say the least. If the y/n from two years ago was listening to this conversation right now, you know for a fact that she’d either be over the moon or she wouldn’t believe her own ears. But at this moment, you didn’t know what to think of this.

Maybe, just maybe, if Jeno had told you this ages ago, maybe you would’ve still kept on going. Though, if he had told you this ages ago, would you still be willing to keep up your bright demeanor just so that Jaemin can step on you a lot longer? If you still kept going back then, if you just pretended that the fight between you and Jaemin didn’t happen like you always do, would things turn out differently? Would Jaemin agree to give you a chance?

You didn’t know. Frankly you don’t want to. It’s best that some things are just left the way they are.

“Honey, Jaemin’s outside of the door. He said he wants to talk to you,” your mom called you out from the front door. Your jaw dropped as you quickly placed the spoon back into your plate of your mom’s famous pasta, abruptly getting up from the couch and placing your plate on the coffee table before dusting any weird crumbs off of your clothes.

Clearing your throat, you yelled out a quick ‘be right there!’ as you made sure to tidy yourself up to ensure that you look presentable enough to look humane and not like a body that just got pulled out of the river. Your heartbeat increased with every step you take towards the front door, your clammy hands tightened into balls of fists as your anxiety crept up inside of you.

‘Jaemin? Why is he here? He hasn’t spoken to you ever since the fight you two had at the library. More importantly, does his parents know about said argument? The Na’s aren’t ones who would shove their noses up into other people’s business but oh dear god, what if Jaemin told his parents and his parents told yours?

Safe to say you had a really terrible feeling about this.

Feeling your heart ache at the memory of your argument, you felt your heart growing empty and cold. Shaking the thoughts out of your head, you took a deep breath before poking your head into the room where your mom was smiling up at a seemingly exhausted Na Jaemin. You grimaced at his appearance, feeling your heart ache even more by how much of a mess he looked right at that moment.

His hair was messy and disheveled, as if he had been tossing and turning in his for hours. There were heavy dark bags under his eyes, signifying his recent lack of sleep. He was in his casual attire: his iconic black nike’s sweatpants and a plain baggy white shirt and some random slippers that were probably a hand-me-down from his dad.

Nonetheless, he looked really cozy. His appearance never failed to make your heart flutter in your chest, the small smile on his lips doing things to your stomach. You couldn’t help but dart your eyes down to the small (assumingly recycled) paper bag from Starbucks in his hand, furrowing your brows at this you attempted to walk towards them as casually as you can.

“Mom?” you gulped, walking up towards her as you gripped your fists tightly behind you to hide your nerves. “Y/n, sweetie, look! Jaemin came to pay you a visit,” your mom exclaimed, smiling widely. It’s obvious that she’s using this opportunity to make the two of you finally talk face to face, clearly as she didn’t know anything that had happened after the dinner party your families had a couple months ago.

Jaemin gave you an awkward smile, raising his free hand to give you a small wave, in which you returned with a small awkward wave of your own. “I’ll leave the two of you to catch up,” your mother nudged your arm and gave Jaemin a kind smile before walking back to the kitchen to give you two some privacy. Sucking in your bottom lip nervously, you watched your mom walk around the corner before looking back at the boy standing before you.

“Hey,” he greeted in an attempt to make small talk.

“Hi,” you responded breathily, putting your hands behind your back so he wouldn’t see you clenching your fists nervously.

“I-Can we talk? Outside?” Jaemin spoke softly, biting his bottom lip nervously, nodding towards your front porch. Oh how those three words brought you so many unpleasant memories. Is this the same anxiety people in relationships feel? The two of you aren’t even together and you’ve gotten into so many fights in the past two years, it’s almost ironic.

Before you could open your mouth to say something, Jaemin had already beat you to it. “I know you probably don’t want to, but I swear it won’t take much more than at least two minutes. But if you don’t want to it’s-” Jaemin spluttered out, stumbling over his own words as he looked down at his shoes to calm himself down. “Okay,” you agreed in a soft tone, nodding slightly at the older boy.

“Are you sure?” Jaemin asked, looking up at you in slight surprise, relief evidently surging through his veins as you gave him a reassuring nod. He really did thought that you’d say no to him after your fight last weekend. “Yeah, it’s fine. Let’s talk outside,” you nodded, opening the front door, gesturing for him to walk out first.

Kissing his teeth, Jaemin walked out of the door, watching you follow him and close the door behind you quietly before leaning your back against it. “I see you got a car?” Jaemin asked all of a sudden. Your gaze shot up from your feet to the brown headed boy in surprise, letting out a small ‘huh?’ in response, only to see that Jaemin was looking at your new white car. “Oh, yeah. I got my driver’s license recently and my aunt gifted me one to celebrate,” you nodded.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Jaemin nodded, sucking his lips in nervously. There was a pregnant pause between the two of you as your thoughts jumbled up to think about what to say next.

“I’m sorry.”

Your eyes went wide at him, your breathing hitched as Jaemin looked down with eyes filled with guilt and sorrow. “What?” you blurted out, confused at his sudden apology. “Look, I know you probably don’t want to see me right now and I know you told me you don’t want to see me anymore. But I can’t help it but try at least one more time. I promise I won’t waste your time anymore than I already have,” Jaemin ran a hand through his hair in distress, taking a deep breath before looking back up at you with eyes filled with regret and guilt, taking you aback by his sudden bold statement.

“I’m sorry. About everything. The fight at the library, the dinner party with our parents, the music box, the gifts, everything I’ve ever done to hurt you. You didn’t deserve to be treated like shit by someone like me. You didn’t deserve to go through the mean bullshit I put you through the past two years, and you don’t have to forgive me for it. Because frankly, if I were you I won’t even bother forgiving myself either,” Jaemin started, letting all of his words pour out of his mouth from the heart.

“I’m sorry for constantly embarrassing you in front of our friends and families whenever you show the slightest bit of affection towards me. I’m so sorry for throwing your gifts away right in front of you whenever our friends tease us a bit too much, that was a dick move of me and you didn’t deserve to have your efforts thrown into literal waste,” he grimace at the mention of throwing your heartfelt letters in the trash right in front of your eyes in front of his friends almost a year ago.

He tightened his grip on the strings of the paper bag, biting this lip nervously before continuing with his apology. “I swear I’m not making up any excuses for myself. I really do feel terrible for everything I did, I didn’t realize that I was hurting your feelings this bad for two whole years. You just wanted your soulmate to like you back, I should’ve at least tried to try,” he felt his heart getting even more heavier with every second that passed.

“You really don’t have to forgive me and here’s something to make up for all the gifts I broke or threw away,” Jaemin outstretched his arm to hand you the paper bag, looking straight into your eyes with a small sad smile as you wordlessly grab the bag from him. “I-I don’t want to pressure you or anything but I would really like it if you come to the game next week, your usual spot feels empty without you there,” he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I promise I’ll leave you alone for real if you really want me to. I know I probably don’t deserve it, but if you’re willing to give me a second chance, I would take it in a heartbeat and I would be willing to make everything up to you. You don’t have to go and you don’t have to decide right now. I just came to give you that- God, why am I so awkward,” he buried his red face in his hands for a brief moment before looking up at you with a flustered expression.

You couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at his embarrassed state. ‘So this is what it feels like when you’re not the one embarrassing your ass off to give a gift to your crush, huh?’ you thought to yourself with a small smile. ‘How ironic,’ you sucked in your lips slightly before looking back at Jaemin with a genuine expression. “I’ll see you later,” Jaemin waved, turning quickly as to not fuck things up anymore than he already has.

You gave him a small wave, turning around and entering your house to walk back to your couch and finish your pasta, placing the paper bag on the coffee table as you took a large bite of your pasta and pulled the tape that sealed the bag shut. As you were thinking everything over as you mindlessly chewed on your food, you pulled the bag and leaned it over towards you to examine its contents.

Inside were a couple bars of your favorite chocolate bar, a note folded in half, a big packet of honey flavored chips, a small gift wrapped in notebook paper tied with a red string and a small decorative box with Jaemin’s name attached to it. You bit your lip, pulling out the note first and unfolding it as you pulled out the small wrapped gift, reading it as you unpackaged whatever Jaemin had gifted you.

‘Hey Y/n. I don’t know if you’re going to be reading this or not. But if you do, I just want to say hi just in case you didn’t want to talk face to face I would at least ask your mom to give you this so the letter could convey my apologies way better than I actually would in real life.’

You pulled the red string off slowly, placing it carefully on the table as you slowly peeled the paper away to reveal a small familiar porcelain figure that was no bigger than the size of your palm. Your eyebrows raised in surprise at this, this porcelain figure was the same figure that came along with the music box your grandmother gave you before she passed away. You turned it around to inspect it even more, spotting the same crack on the edge to conclude that it was indeed the porcelain from your old music box.

‘I know you might be wondering how the small doll was still intact considering I broke the whole music box to the point it was unrepairable, but trust me, I was hella surprised to see that this little thing was still intact. Maybe my carpet floor had softened the impact? I don’t know it was still very pretty and I wanted to give you back something that was previously yours. I know, you gave it to me but I really want you to have a piece of your grandma left with you, so don’t fight with me on this one, y/n >:(’

You couldn’t help but grin at the small smiley face he drew on the edge of the paragraph, letting out a small giggle as you placed the porcelain doll gently on the table beside your plate, taking a spoonful of your food before digging your hand back in the paper bag to fish out the decorated box. It was quite heavy considering you had to use two hands to pull it out.

With a small huff, you place the box on the couch beside you. Crossing your legs over the other and placing the letter on your lap, you pulled the lid off of the box and placed it beside the paper bag before looking back inside the box, shock coursing through your veins. You felt your heart warm up at the contents of the box, feeling your stomach do somersaults in your body as you slowly picked up the contents one by one.

The box was filled with nothing but your childhood polaroids the two of you took throughout your whole youth, some aesthetic pictures Jaemin took of you without your knowledge or consent during your freshman and sophomore year of middle school and high school (hell you didn’t even know he still took pictures of you). There were a few polaroids decorated with small doodles and hearts with sharpie markers. You spotted a few old post-it notes you had used to give Jaemin cheesy pick up lines, but this time they had small responses.

‘Hey Jaemin, are you a camera? Because every time I look at you I smile. :D’

‘Hey Y/n. You better check the mirror, you’re the reason why I’m smiling right now :D’

‘If I had a genie that could grant me three wish, I would use them all just so you can be with me’

‘Well I’m here now, what are you going to do with the other two wishes?’

‘Your hand looks heavy, let me hold it for you, Jaemin :D’

‘My heart feels heavy, can you hold it for me?’

Your grin grew inevitably wider with every pick up line he wrote, heart fluttering as your stomach swarmed with butterflies. Rubbing your face to keep yourself from combusting as you dug your hand through the box to see the old letters Jeno had been talking about. You opened one of the dirty letters which was covered in small stickers and doodles. (which you assume was Jaemin’s doing, considering he has a clear eye for aesthetics)

‘I knew you liked really cheesy romance stuff and considering I watch a lot of k-dramas and shows in my free time, you know very much I’m going to put my romantic expertise into good use. It felt nice being the one giving gifts, no wonder you like giving me stuff so much, this is actually fun. I hope this isn’t too much for you. I know this probably isn’t going to make up for all the damage I’ve done in the past two years but at least I tried my best.’

You liked to write the dates on your letters just in case things like this happen and you would have the opportunity to look back and cringe at your own cheesiness and mediocre writing. You honestly couldn’t believe your eyes or Jeno when he said Jaemin had kept your letters in his messy void of a locker. But now that you had a living proof that he actually cherished your letters. You couldn’t help but feel some sort of comforting hope in your chest.

Your heart no longer felt empty or void of emotions, it felt full again. Though, not completely filled, it was better than feeling complete nothingness. You were still very much scared of trusting Jaemin with your own heart again, you were still very much scared of getting hurt again. But there was something inside you that was begging you to trust Jaemin again and let him back in your life. It has been telling you to do so ever since you saw how genuine he was being.

‘I probably didn’t tell you this when we were talking but believe it or not, I actually really really like you. And I really want to try where this all can lead to, and if you’re willing to trust me again I would try my best not to fuck it up this time. I don’t expect you to say yes or anything to me. If you decide not to come to the game, I totally understand and I’ll leave you alone just like you asked. I missed hanging out with you, Y/n. I missed my best friend. I miss having my soulmate around, and I’m sorry that it took me this long to realise how important you truly are to me’

He really isn’t giving up is he? Well, if he hasn’t given you up like you did with him. Are you willing to repeat his previous actions and stop listening to your head and start listening to your heart again? Are you willing to give him up again?

I’m sure you know the answer to that already.

I feel like the end is quite rushed. i’m so sorry if so. I’ve been working on this for two weeks lmfao and it’s currently two am right now so Imma go to bed hehe. This series has like... what three chapters left? DAMN ITS BEEN A WHOLE YEAR SINCE I MADE THIS SERIES. DW I HAVE A HYUCK SERIES COMING UP SOONER OR LATER LMFAO.

T A G L I S T : @candiednickles @itlittlefangirl @cherrym4rk @gotoartistprofile @d-nghyck @kingjvngins @aconeptun @chaeshii @lixseu @morks-watermelon @12am-musings @cherrystay @lowkeyviv @btm-taeyong @gothmingguk @luvlyjaemin @cowward @smileyyuta @cakelyn @uncovermenow666 @comically-sleep-deprived @wtfhaechan @xcherrybbyx @wishing--butterfly @wordsgodeep @astroboy-lele @sweetmoonlight9 @chwenchew @stuckwithhyuck @yunoelea @angelrenjunie @dae-chan @jenseoull @marklexleaf @yasmini24 @cloudreads @sptegami @mango-bear @dumplingley @bereavedswallow @etherealbyeol @247byun

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plus-size-reader · 4 years

Text

Old Flame

Luke Castellan x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1407 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Infiltrating camp half blood under orders of your father, Hades, due to his suspicions that Percy Jackson stole the bolt and connecting with someone you haven’t seen in quite some time.

——————————————————————————————————

Contrary to popular belief, your father had always been among the most patient of the gods.

He didn’t participate in unnecessary plights or pointless squabbles between his brothers or the others among them. He simply stuck to where he belongs and didn’t stray from it.

Until, of course, Zeus’ lightning bolt went missing.

That was something that your daddy dearest was very much interested in but he couldn’t exactly get it on his own. So, he did the next best thing…

He sent you.

It had been years since you’d been to the camp, since you didn’t like it all that much but when the time came, you simply waltzed right through the gate. It was easy, considering you were a demigod, whether they liked it or not.

“Long time no see guys” you hummed, grinning as you walked past hoards of the various demigods that polluted this place.

Personally, you had never been one for the crowds but apparently they all enjoyed not being able to have a single independent thought. If it worked for them, you were happy about it, but that didn’t mean you wanted to join.

The murmurs got louder and louder as you moved, but you didn’t pay them any mind. In fact, even once those murmurs became obvious comments, you still didn’t flinch.

“What is she doing here?”

“You know who her dad is right?”

“Why would she come here?”

It all sounded the same to you, but you didn’t stop until you reached what you were looking for

...Luke’s tent.

Of all the demigods, you had managed to befriend one during your brief time here, and Luke had been that one. He had always been super kind to you and never once pressured you to be something that you weren’t.

He didn’t want to change you like the rest of them did.

“Playing video games?” you laughed, entering the tent with not warning at all. It didn’t matter what he was doing in there, you had urgent business to attend to and nothing would get in the way of that.

After all, if you did anything other than what you had been sent here for, your father would know.

“Not at all” Luke chided, immediately turning around to meet you, even though he hadn’t been expecting you to show up here. He would have known that voice anywhere.

It didn’t make any sense, but you were here.

Clearly you had some sort of business that you had to take care of. You didn’t exactly make house calls to just check in on how he was doing. If you ever did, he would have hoped it would be sooner than now.

It had been months since he’d seen you last.

“It’s been a while” he sighed, standing up from his chair to meet you halfway, that charming grin finding its way onto his face, even if he wasn’t quite sure why.

You had made it very clear last time you were here that you didn’t want the same thing that he did. You weren’t interested in him, and you’d told him that more than once.

Still, that didn’t change the very obvious attraction between the two of you.

“I don’t really have much to come all the way up here for” you shrugged, looking around the space at all the worldly possessions he’d collected since you’d been here.

It was always expanding, and now he had more than you could even imagine, not that you could blame him. There wasn’t much else to do in this place other than train.

...And that had never really been Luke’s main focus.

“Well, you know I’m here whenever you want to drop by” this time there was something else in Luke’s tone, something that told you he was serious about it.

More serious than he’d been about anything.

“I might take you up on that, but I’m not exactly here for a visit. I need to find the lightning bolt, and Percy Jackson has it” you explained, your tone much more serious as you did.

You had to get this figured out, because if Hades could get his hands on that bolt before Zeus, you wouldn’t have to live in the underworld anymore.

You wouldn't be a reject anymore.

Luke nodded, thinking over what you had said for a second before he realized something. You had no idea who actually had the bolt, but you thought what everyone else did.

...You thought that Percy had stolen it and that was perfect.

“Hades believes that he has it?” he clarified, just checking to make sure he understood where everyone stood. That's what it sounded like you were saying, but he couldn’t be sure.

At least, not until you agreed.

Your father was sure that the son of Poseidon had taken it and that was all you cared about. You did as you were told, and if Hades thought it was stolen, then you were going to find it.

It was all you’d come here to do, after all.

“I need to find it, and I was just hoping that you could help me with that” you smiled, batting your lashes at him slightly, adding a bit of drama to the action.

You knew that you didn’t need to add that last bit, and that Luke would do it no questions asked, but you just liked to add a cherry on top.

There was silence for a second or two as Luke thought over what you were asking. It could be dangerous to put yourselves between the gods, but that had never stopped him before.

In fact, knowing that kind of made him more willing to participate.

“You know, it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you, so I thought maybe you just wanted to see me” he teased, the smile finding its way onto his face as he thought about it.

There had been a time that you would have, but those days had long passed.

You and Luke came from two very different worlds, and you prioritized different things. That wasn’t going to change and you couldn’t keep up with whatever it was between you knowing that.

It was just easier to just go your separate ways...Not that either of you really wanted to.

“I should have known you wanted something”

There was a sadness in his voice this time, that same smile disappearing in an instant. He had never really dealt with the resentment of you leaving to return to hell, which only added to the resentment he felt toward his father.

Perhaps it was worse than his father though, because losing you hurt more.

Now, you thought that he had gotten over that but you should have known better. One minute, Luke had everything he could ever want and the next, you were gone and he had no idea when you were going to come back.

Of course he wasn’t over it.

“It isn’t like that, and you know it. I don’t belong here Luke, no matter how much you wish I did” you sighed, regretting coming here for a moment. If you knew it would hurt him this bad, you would have just continued on your own.

You didn’t want to hurt him, but you knew that there was no one else that could help you in the way that he could.

“Yeah, I know”

You two had been over this a thousand times, and talked it to death trying to find a way to make it work but it just couldn’t. It wasn’t either of your faults, it just wasn’t meant to be.

Luke knew that, but that didn’t mean he was happy about it.

“I shouldn’t have come here” you started, turning around with full intent to leave his tent. You should have known better, but maybe part of you wanted to come here to see him.

It had been so long, and you missed him.

You made it a few steps before Luke reached out to lay a hand on your shoulder, a simple action that stopped you in your tracks.

“I’ll help you Y/N, don’t worry about it” he decided finally, having given you quite a bit more to think about than you thought you’d be leaving with. Not that it wasn’t worth it to know where you stood after all this time.

You could always count on him...even if it was hard.

#luke castellan #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #luke castellan x ps reader #luke castellan x plus size reader #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan imagine #percy jackson x ps reader #percy jackson x plus size reader #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson imagine

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6v6taeminisloveshineeworld · 4 years

Text

Champagne Life Is All You Want

Word Count: 15.7k+

Genre: Romance, Idol/Hoop Aerialist AU, Smut, Cirque Du Soleil vibes, Gatsby Flair

Summary: It’s simple, love for luxury. You've lived this way for a long time. True love only existed in fables but after hitting a complete stranger with a car that isn’t even yours you find out that your new victim’s name is Lee Taemin and he has fallen hard into your web of deception that allows you to live the life of expensive pleasures that you always seem to swindle from your clients. The truth will break his heart, are you only in it for the money or have you begun to fall as well?

Pairing: Taemin X Reader

Warning: Contains mentions of Abuse, Blood, Sexual, and Suggestive content, as well as some foul language. This material is only a work of fiction and does not mean to defame living persons.

Taglist: @slavefortaemin

The hood of your newly stolen yellow convertible was down and you felt the breeze of autumn as you drove through the back roads of Aureus and into the less reputable parts of town.

You had lived in New Celes for the majority of your life and while most of your childhood years were spent in the Underground as the daughter of the most infamous crime groupe known as the Scarlet Wolf who were known to possess the heightened senses of sound, speed, and strength, you’d left them only to climb yourself from the gutter and into posh society with your charm.

There was a reason New Celes was coined the City Of Heavenly Desire, it’s nightlife was vibrant and it’s nobility spared no expense, leaving the less fortunate to look on with jealousy as they wasted their wealth frivolously. You’d survive the only way you could. With a father who’d sooner leave you in the streets because you proved to be a weak runt according to the standards of the pack you left the gang and found yourself at your wits end. You would have died on your own had it not been for the Matron of Muldale Estate.

The streets had been dark and unforgiving with lights only at the most populated corners and filled with people of ill repute. The Matron had found you frozen and half dead but still filled with a spirit that would not be extinguished. She took you to her estate, clothed you and fed you and in time you came to know the girls who lived there.

The women of Muldale Estate were prostitutes, or as they liked to be called “courtesans.” Their Matron, Madame Felicity Dupont loved the sound of her own voice.

When the Matron asked you to stay long ago you had thought you’d known just what you were getting yourself into and you promised yourself that it was only a temporary home. Now fifteen years later you knew you weren’t the same naive girl you had been before. Love was a mirage of deception and endless hoops. Love was only given if you gave in return even if it cost you your body and not your heart.

Dupont showered her girls In pretty gowns and diamonds and sold them off to the highest bidder but at the end of the day when you couldn’t wash off the scent of your clients’ perfume, you felt more like a shadow than a human.

Andre de Valois, the man who owned the car you drove now had been sadistic and cruel but he was very influential to Dupont. His wealth alone financed a quarter of the Matron’s income and that would have been fine if not for the fact that he only ever choose you.

His possessive nature had grown so strong it frightened you and when he made it clear that he wanted Dupont to sign you away to an exclusive contract with him he was not pleased when you rejected him. Far from it.

He was always used to having his way and the evening had ended badly to say the least with you landing a punch to his jaw and fleeing out the door taking his keys with you. Now driving carelessly fast downtown with tears ruining your mascara it was no wonder to find you had hit something. Or was it someone? You frantically unfastened your seat belt and stepped out of the car shakily to find a man passed out in front of the car.

“Oh my god!” You said, rushing over to the man and turning him to the side to face you as you leaned down to check his pulse.

You let out a sigh of relief when you felt his breath against your cheek. His lithe body rising and falling as you rested your palm on his firm chest.

His features looked familiar somehow but you dismissed it from your mind as you agonized over the fact that his forehead was bleeding slightly and you were in the middle of an unwelcoming neighborhood with no license and a stolen vehicle. If this man pressed charges you were done for and it wasn’t for fear that you’d get locked up, but rather that you would be found and taken back that terrified you.

You took the end of your scarf in hand and started to clean the blood away, the man’s features becoming more noticeable as you moved his dark brown hair out of his eyes and all too soon you recognized the man before you as Lee Taemin, the idol of the Ten Rings Circus, more commonly known as the “Night Circus” and one of the wealthiest most well-known artists in New Celes.

Fate loved to play games with your soul it seemed and she had a twisted sense of humor.

If anyone could save you from Dupont’s dismissal and Andre’s rage it would be the unconscious man before you.

Just then Taemin started to stir and you gave him your most concerned expression. Wide eyes and red lips pursed in a frown. Your smudged mascara only adding to your look of distress.

“Are you alright?” You said gently, careful to keep your distance from him in case he lashed out but close enough to look him in the eyes.

You were surprised when warm brown eyes meet yours. You’d only seen those eyes in posters and magazines, he had always looked too stoic, too unapproachable to imagine ever meeting.

“I’m fine,” he said sitting up slowly and looking at your car inches from him.

You let out an audible sigh of relief that he hadn’t hit his head as badly as you’d initially thought.

“But what about you? Are you alright? You were in such a hurry. Are you running away from something?” He said with a knowing look in his eyes as he took in your disheveled appearance.

“No, it’s nothing.” You said brushing his words aside and getting to your feet. You felt a stab of guilt for wanting to use him as an easy escape moments before. Even though he was a complete stranger he was showing you compassion instead of anger, concern instead of annoyance.

Somehow you knew taking his hand would be alright, but when you reached for it a strong wind blew away the scarf you had carelessly replaced over your neck before he’d woken, revealing Andre’s fingerprints on your skin.

“How did you get that! Who did that to you?” He said in surprise, coming closer only to have you quickly move away out of habit as if he would strike you.

“It’s none of your business,” you said placing your hands around your shoulders protectively. He stepped back when he noticed you were uncomfortable and it genuinely touched you that he seemed to care. You’d grown used to seeing marks on your body, at this point, it was a part of life that faded just like a hundred nights worth of memories too painful to recollect.

Maybe it was the way he looked at you that made you confess these next words, maybe it was just your selfish greed that clung to you like a vise but you found yourself unable to continue your charade anymore. You were tired of pretending, and maybe just maybe, you could tell he had already fallen for the woman who had run him over.

“No, no I’m not fine.” You said sitting against the hood of the car and holding back tears. “I’m a courtesan of Muldale,” when he nodded in understanding you continued. “My client… well he won’t be seeing me anymore I left him and if the Madam found out I was leaving her service before my time she’ll have the officials come and find me. My client is very wealthy you see and she couldn’t stand to lose-”

“How far along are you on your Emblem till your debt is paid?” He said determination in his voice.

You looked up at him, eyes wide. Once again he’d surprised you. He seemed to be knowledgeable enough in the trade to know that the women of Muldale all had debts to pay to their Madame and that she kept count of their progress by marking them with a tattoo called an emblem. The emblem was of their own design choice from a limited selection but it was always along the back in a circle and once that circle was completed you were free to leave.

“I owe a life debt to her, my Emblem is less than halfway through.”

“I’ll pay it for you.” He said it so quickly that you were certain this had to be a dream.

“What do I owe you in return?” You answered just as quickly. You didn’t hide the distrust in your tone. “Nothing is free in this world.”

“You’re right,” he looked regretful of his next words but continued anyway. “If I pay for your Emblem will agree to pretend to be my fiancee?” You scoff, shaking your head but internally you are delighted. It would seem that your plan was going better than expected. You turned around and acted as if you were making your way back to the car before he stopped you with a light touch at the elbow.

“Hear me out-”

“You don’t even know me.”

“I know it’s a crazy idea but I’m in a situation that I don't want to be in right now-

“Aren’t we all,” you said with a laugh.

“Yes, but I am constantly confronted with marriage proposals and one of these days I’m afraid the family I am indebted to will force me into an agreement.” He could have said anything else but this was the last thing you’d expected.

“You’re Lee Taemin, Shining Star of the Night Circus! If anyone had the power to say no it would be you.”

He ducked his head when you mentioned his title, red blooming on the tips of his ears. “The Night Circus is not what posters would have you believe,” He said. “You and I are more alike than you know. The things I’ve had to do to make my way to the top. I owe that family everything for bringing me from the gutter to the spotlight.”

His words cut like a fresh wound. Nothing in the glittering world of New Celes was ever what it appeared on the surface and if even it’s young gods walked their lives on burning coals well, nowhere was safe.

“I’ll do it.” You said.

“Really?” He gave you the widest smile and suddenly you wondered if being indebted to this beautiful man was more dangerous than belonging to Andre.

“What’s your name,” he said the instant you were both in the car. You started the engine and made the turn back to Muldale Estate. You were silent for a few minutes till you finally said in a whisper, “Call me Lady Basileia, everyone else does.” Like your old life, your true name had also been lost to you, and if you knew anything for certain it was the fact that there was no reclaiming it.

Dupont was furious. Andre’s wrath was nothing in comparison to the lady’s words. “I’ve clothed you, I took you in from the streets when you were nothing and this is how you repay me! Go back to the Comte de Valois and beg on your knees for him to take you back.” Dupont was about to grab you by the hair before Taemin grasped her wrist, holding her back. You’d told him to stay outside but it seemed you wouldn’t have an easy time getting him to listen.

“Mademoiselle Basileia will beg no one, Madame Dupont,” Taemin said from behind her. “She is a free woman from this day forward I will pay her Emblem price.”

A small collective gasp could be heard from the ladies who were listening in against the door-frame. Their palpable excitement grew hushed when Dupont swore at them.

Dupont laughed coldly before she said, “Young man, take your fanciful ideas elsewhere. You wouldn’t be able to buy a single night with her much less ten years wor-

Taemin faced her and she paled, her eyes widening as she too recognized him.

“I beg your pardon, my lord. I did not know-”

“Mademoiselle Basileia and I are in a hurry,” he said.

Dupont gaped at you before suddenly tripping over herself to call in for some tea. When Taemin declined her offer and suggested they get right to business and that he would pay her in full she directed him to her office and left you to collect your things.

Emilie was the first of the ladies to approach you. As soon as you sank into a tub of hot water she came to sit on the ledge and scrub your back with a sponge, her touch was gentle at the nape of your neck as she seemed to want to wash away William’s scars. “Is he kind to you? Lord Taemin, I mean. Or is he cold, like the pictures I’ve seen of him?” Just as you were about to answer the door flung open.

“Who cares Emilie!” Agatha said coming into the room with a stack of fresh towels. “He’s rich, richer than Andre. Only the best for Lady Basileia,” Agatha said, jealousy laced in her voice. “We could never compete with that.”

“Wealth is not everything Agatha!” Lily said coming into the room to join them, her cheeks were flushed and her buoyant voice ever-cheerful no matter her situation. If it hadn’t been for Lily and her optimism you thought you wouldn’t have survived your days here. Of everyone at Muldale, she was perhaps the only one who still believed in love and she was quite the romantic. Her imagination often kept the ladies entertained, and her short works of fiction were often shared at sleepless hours.

“I can’t believe you met the Ice Fairy by chance!” Lily said taking Emilie’s place beside you. “I saw him go into Madam’s office and he is even more handsome in person than his portraits. It was fate Basileia, fate! Did he see you with the Comte at his estate and decide that he had to have you for his own? Was he a friend of Andre? Or did he see you on the streets and you melted his heart of stone? They say he doesn’t have one you know, he’s turned down so many pretty women and of noble families too!”

“Well, I suppose you can say I ran him over…”

Later when you were dried off and in your bedroom, you searched through your things to find the plainest dress you could. Nothing here was your own and other than the handful of letters from the ladies and Emilie’s handmade bracelet as a gift on your twentieth birthday you left everything else and closed the door behind you.

Half an hour later you found yourself laying on your stomach in the tattoo parlor close to Muldale estate. You winced as the inked needle met your back again. The tattoo artist knew of the girls from their countless visits. When you had walked into the shop and declared that your entire Emblem be finished he’d been shocked but you could see the excitement in his eyes. Most girls picked the design for their emblem but you had let Eddie do whatever he wanted and as it turned out your back was his own personal masterpiece or that’s how he felt at least and you had to agree he didn’t waste his imagination when it came to his attention to detail.

Eddie turned the open sign around and started right away, completing his design in a total of five hours. Every second had been worth it though you thought as he held a mirror up to your back and you saw yourself in the mirror in front. A flower time dial was beautifully etched into your back, primroses, cherry blossoms, roses, and lilacs. They weren't in color but they seemed alive and each stroke of ink depicted an emotion, from how the petals tilted toward the imaginary sun to how they wilted.

“Thank you, Eddie, I love it.” He beamed at you and you felt the pride in him swell and his heart soar. Sometimes pain and pleasure really did walk hand in hand.

It was late the next day when you reached the heart of Aureus, at some point you had let Taemin drive the car he rented after he insisted that you leave Andre’s car at Muldale where Dupont could return it to him. The nightlife here was even more vibrant than you remembered. In fact, if you were being honest you knew nothing of the high-end brothels and drinking taverns of New Celes, only the pompous champagne-soaked floors of dancing halls that Andre and other clients had brought you too, hoping to seduce you with charm and sophistication. No, the Night Circus it seemed was something different, something in between. Your heart raced a bit more excitedly as you read the giant billboard up ahead Our Aim Is To Please You, it read in painted crimson letters, like blood upon the lily-white backdrop.

Taemin parked and took your hand to guide you through the crowd and into the enormous red tent. You could hear the music from within even from a distance, something akin to carnival music but more gentle. You could hear french horns and soft drums both haunting and sensuous.

Before opening the tent flap Taemin leaned down and whispered, “The show is about to start soon. Ten will have my hide if I’m not backstage soon so make yourself comfortable in the audience.” You nodded at him before he disappeared into the crowd.

It wasn’t long before the lights were dimmed and you squirmed in your seat as the young noblewoman beside you asked her manservant to attend her. She wore a diamond choker necklace at her throat and you caught the glint of silver on her left hand. The raven-haired manservant knelt at his mistress’s feet and lifted her skirts enough to engulf his head under. It wasn’t unusual for aristocracy to show their lewdness in public settings such as these. But you had to admit, you really hadn’t known anything about The Night Circus.

The noblewoman's soft moans were covered by the sound of the now more vivacious orchestra and as the curtains of the stage began to rise, you forgot all about her.

“Mesdames et messieurs,” the ringmaster bellowed. It was astonishing to see Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, more commonly known by the stage name of ‘Ten’ the ringmaster before you. He acquired the nickname when his family came into possession of the largest fortune in New Celes, taking over ten towns along the coast and placing circuses, hotels, and nightclubs in each of them. His family name was known as the “Gatsby of New Celes” and honestly half the continent. It was no wonder that Taemin had money practically spilling from his veins. With Ten as a benefactor he was set for life and you couldn't help but wonder why Taemin would want to risk the family’s anger by denying any marriage they set forth for him.

“Allow us to entertain you tonight under the canopy of the moon.” Ten continued, “let us seduce your mind and captivate your soul. May I present le cirque nocturne!” The crowd roared with applause and with a flick of the ringmaster’s whip, the opening act began.

A woman in a lilac leotard appeared on stage and moved her body in ways you hadn’t even known possible. Her contorted body seemed to tell a story, the music flowed without words but like a ballet, the woman moved with the melody. As more dancers appeared you began to make more sense of the plot. The story the woman danced to was of a siren who had lost her tail and moved upon land in odd yet graceful ways. She reminded you of a sparrow in a world of swans, awkward yet full of life. When the curtains closed on the act you stood in applause with the rest of the crowd.

Next was a pair of tightrope walkers, it was a woman and a man painted in makeup that made them look like cats with whiskers and all. The woman balanced a parasol in one hand and the man a cane with a larger than normal curved end. You realized why that was so when the man circled the cane around the woman’s waist and the audience gasped in wonder at the girl’s perfect balance as she made her way across the rope and into her lover’s arms.

The next set of dancers stood on swings as they twirled long ribbon batons in their hands and swept them over the crowds. Their short satin red dresses left little to the imagination as they entwined with each other and leaped through the air, catching one another by the wrists.

There were more acts that seemed to pass in a blur, jugglers and fire breathers. Your body grew heated with the number of people in the tent as you waited for Taemin’s performance and you became impatient till finally, Ten spoke again, “Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the act you have all been waiting for, our ravishing, shining, hoop aerialist, Lee Taemin!”

If the crowd had made any noise till that moment it was nothing compared to the deafening cries now. But as the curtains began to rise once more, everyone fell silent as if they were all holding their breath underwater, ready to be swept away.

Taemin was a sight to behold it was true and you could feel your pulse quicken ever so slightly as you took in the transformation before you. The man you arrived with seemed to be buried within this immorally captivating creation. He wore a black top hat with a half net across one side of his face and a shimmering silver and midnight blue leotard with sheer sleeves and a low neckline. His angelic figure and fair collarbone a teasing sight amidst all the tiny glittering diamonds sewn onto the fabric. The diamonds seemed to dance with the lights in the tent as Taemin moved his hands upwards towards the hoop hanging above him.

He seemed to move with the music as you had never seen anyone move before. He was one with the melody like nature herself his gestures reminding you of water and wind. Once he reached the hoop his feet seemed to climb invisible stairs into the air till he was seated in the hoop and once more began to swivel and bend like falling water, tossing his hat aside as he went. His ankles caught the sides of the hoop as his head and body soared downwards. The transitions were seamless and watching the lithe muscles of his arms move as he grabbed the hoop and pulled himself up was hypnotic. You found yourself searching for his eyes and once they meet your own you felt yourself flush but were unable to look away.

You knew now why they called him the fey king of ice and lust, his coal lined sultry stare seemed to undress you with a glance alone. He spun around the hoop like a snake till he stood upon the inner circle and then, oh gods above, he began to sing. You didn’t understand the words but by his tone, you could feel it was a song of deep longing and yet fragility as if the thing he yearned for lay far out of his reach or lay dead beneath the earth. His voice was both angel and devil, sweet as nectar and fatal as flame. He swung over the heads of the audience as he sang, the rope seeming to lengthen and glide along with him. He showered the spectators with diamonds from his costume as they loosened and fell like rain upon them. The audience’s applause spread through the crowd like wildfire and Taemin took a final bow before the curtains closed for the night and adoring fans threw roses and even entire bouquets to the empty stage as the lights in the tent brightened once again.

Without a second thought, you hurried from your seat and slipped backstage determined to find Taemin and congratulate him on such a wonderful performance expecting to find him surrounded by fellow performers but instead, you found him backed against the wall, Ten’s arms caging him in with one hand beside his head and his whip in the other. You hid quickly behind a stage prop of what looked like an ancient Greek pillar, eyes widening as Ten tilted Taemin’s chin up with the tip of his whip, his eyes never leaving Taemin’s defiant gaze.

“You needn't go through all this trouble over a harlot, mon tresor.” Ten said tracing his fingers against Taemin’s back. Taemin pulled away from his touch and Ten drew his hand away.

“Others may mistake her for a fine noblewoman but you forget I have eyes everywhere, even in the lowest gutter of town. Why won’t you accept my offer? You could have so much more than this life, you would be a demigod among men with what I could give you.” Ten said taking Taemin’s hand to his lips and kissing his knuckles.

“I’ve already visited the press with news of my new fiancee, Ten.” You won’t be able to quiet our engagement easily without causing a scene and disrupting your father’s trust. I am your family’s humble servant and nothing more.” Taemin said in a cold tone as he slipped from Ten’s grasp and into the changing room.

Your mind was muddled with questions as you made your way back to the crowd unseen and waited for Taemin to find you.

It wasn’t long before you found yourself on the 20th floor of one of New Celes’s finest hotels run by Ten’s family of course. Taemin had a total of twelve rooms that all connected to one another. He led you to what you assumed was the guest room. The sheets were silk and there was a mahogany dresser with a beautiful matching vanity in the corner of the room, the edges of its mirror rimmed with gold. You moved to the window, moving the heavy curtains aside to take in the bustling night view of New Celes. You had to admit this offer was the best you’d ever had, although you felt a small stab of guilt for using Taemin in this way you found solace in the fact that he was also using you to run away from his own problems. “Wait,” you said, as Taemin walked toward the door to leave. He halted outside your door, his hand hovering over the doorknob.

“Why did you lie to me?” You said turning from the window to face him. He looked puzzled at the statement so you continued. “I saw you with Ten, he seemed sincere, like he would give you anything if you agreed to be with him. Why would you refuse that?”

Taemin’s eyes darkened and he said briskly, “Don’t speak of what you do not understand.”

“It wasn’t a horde of girls I came here to shield you from but his advances wasn’t it.” You said coming closer, your voice matching his tone. “You think his obsession with you is a passing fancy? That he’ll soon tire of you with me around I gather or are you trying to make him jealous? What, is he not good enough for you? I know men and women would kill to have the place you have in his eyes. I won’t stay here and be put in danger! I won’t stand between the Chittaphon family and their desires, it would be like tying a noose around my own neck. Stop being stubborn and go to him-”

“Enough!” Taemin said shutting the door and coming to stand closer to you. “I’ll never crawl to that sick bastard even if he held a gun to my head.”

A look of pity crossed your features as you said, “Well if his being a man is what disgusts you so its nothing to be ashamed of. I once had a patron that was a woman-”

“That’s not the reason at all,” Taemin said interrupting you. His voice was composed once again and he seemed hesitant but continued. “You must tell no one you know of this but it’s Ten’s bloodstained hands and dirty money that disgusts me.”

Your eyes widened as you sat on the edge of the bed and waited for him to continue.

“All this wealth you see around you has come at a heavy price, the Chittaphon family have sold their souls for this luxury, the deaths of so many lay in their hands. The family makes most of their money in human trafficking and other despicable things. Ten is just as corrupt if not more so than his family. A flicker of sorrow crossed his eyes and then it was gone, replaced by ice once more. “We grew up together, it was no secret that we grew close to one another, I grew to love him and through the years I have seen him grow more and more twisted.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” You said a bit shaken at the realization that he knew some of your pain as well, knew how it felt to be shattered by the people you trusted the most. If your father had been a real father, if Andre had been an honorable man, you wouldn’t be here now seeking to console the dancer before you with an earnest hug. It would be hard to sleep in these sheets without thinking of the malicious lengths the owners had gone through to accumulate their wealth and it made your stomach turn.

Perhaps it was the wine you drank before falling asleep but your dreams were persistently vivid. A russet wolf stalked you, it wasn’t hostile but it pursued you with relentless abandon. It never left your side, whenever you looked over your shoulder there it was yet you were not frightened. You were not frightened that was, until its scarlet eyes met yours, sending you a rush of memories you wished would stay buried. You woke with a scream on your lips, your throat felt dry and your hair damp with sweat.

You slid from the bed and opened the mini-fridge in the small kitchenette of your room. Drinking an entire bottle of water and wiping your forehead with a cloth before slipping out of the room and into the master suite. Taemin’s room was right beside yours and you didn’t believe that was a mere coincidence. A candle was lit on the bedside table and you were greeted by his soft even breathing as you made your way to the enormous bed and climbed in beside him careful not to touch him. If it was a fiancee he had bargained for then it was one he would get. You turned your face away from his back and settled in to sleep but your eyes opened wide once more when you felt Taemin’s hand wrap around your shoulder in a gentle embrace as he turned to face your back and fell asleep once more. So maybe he had heard you awaken from your nightmare earlier you thought as your eyes grew heavy again and you fell asleep to the warmth of his touch and the thud of your heart.

You blinked as sunlight greeted you and you stretched, opening your eyes wider as you felt the absence of heat beside you and an empty pillow, your hands grazing over the indent in the fabric. Taemin was gone already, must have been since early this morning but his distinct scent still lingered, a combination of sweet oranges and heady cinnamon spice. You met the cold wooden floorboards against your bare feet with a groan as you made your way to the bathroom but a small young woman stopped you as you made your way to the tub.

“My name is Marguerite,” she said with a small curtsy. “Lord Taemin asked me to see to your needs m’lady. What minerals would you like in your bath?”

“Oh, anything you like Marguerite I don’t mind truly.” You said moving out of her way so she could toss a few veils of lovely smelling soaps into the tub as she turned the hot water on.

“How long have you been in Lord Taemin’s services?” You asked curiously.

“Today is my first day m’lady, his lordship doesn’t keep many servants. Just the occasional cleaning maid. I expect he figured you’d be needing a handmaid.”

You nodded at this, touched that he’d thought so far ahead as to hire the girl already. You made a mental note to thank him later as you dipped into the warm water and watched the colorful bubbles that clung to your chest.

The hotel breakfast was divine of course. Everything about the hotel was exquisite and filled with every out of season delicacy you could imagine. Grabbing an extra candied pear before you left the breakfast hall you decided to explore the grand hotel further. You made your way in and out of passageways and lobbies with sitting rooms and expensive carpets. But you wondered where the reception room for weddings and banquets must be.

A hotel like this would have quite a few of them and sure enough, you came to a door that seemed close to the gardens. On the archway was a plaque that read Hall of Mirrors, you smiled at that. Of course, anyone who ran a circus would decide it a fitting name. You opened the heavy doors carefully and shut it behind you. Your eyes widened at the sight before you, you had never seen such wealth in one room alone. The hall was bathed in light, the sun shown through the many-windowed arches and reflected on the arches of mirrors just across. There were so many mirrors, more than three hundred if you could guess. the arches and walls all gleamed with their polished golden frames and elaborate craftsmanship. There were even mirrors that looked as if they belonged in a funhouse with odd shapes to them that disfigured your reflection. But most of them were tall and elegant.

There was so much glass in the room you felt afraid to touch anything at all. Glass chandeliers hung from the vaulted ceiling and you wondered at the poor servant who lit the small white candles. This room in all its opulence reminded you of the photographs you’d seen of Versailles. This entire room was a show of power. You moved closer to the marble statue of what looked like Apollo riding his sun chariot. You ran the tip of your finger along the small stallions manes, fascinated by their detail.

“My father thinks himself a god, Mademoiselle.” The voice startled you so that when you moved to turn around you’d cut yourself on one of the stallions sharply pointed ears. You stuck the pricked finger in your mouth to wipe away the blood as you stared at Ten before you. He looked straight through you at the statue before continuing, “Did you know there are eighteen figures alone in this hotel of Apollo? On fountains and vases.” He shook his head. “My father, the sun-god of business and opportunity.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn't have pried into your rooms.” You said, eager to getaway. I enjoyed the performance last night, it's a pleasure to meet you in person. My name is-”

“I know who you are Lady Basileia, the papers cannot help but jump at the chance to announce your presence.”

“This banquet hall is very exquisite, do you hold weddings here?” Your heartbeat raced nervously but you kept a smile plastered on your face. Maybe if he bored of your small talk he’d excuse himself or throw you out even.

“Why do you wish to know?” He said, looking at you as if for the first time. “Would you like to hold your wedding here?” Ten smiled in a mocking sort of way and he looked at you as if you were nothing but filth dragged in. “I’m afraid this sort of lavishness makes Taemin uncomfortable, there is no way your groom to be would agree to such a location. A pity really that such a humble man must deal with a fortune-hunting wench like you.”

You didn’t dare break his gaze as you said, “If you’ll excuse me my fiance is waiting for me. I hope that our next meeting will be more pleasant. You gave him a small dignified curtsy and exited the room careful to walk entirely around him. You found your breath again only after you were a safe distance away from the hall and out of the hotel.

You made your way to the red tent hoping to find Taemin and ask him to take you out to the city. You just needed to go anywhere else to get your mind off of your encounter and shopping was the perfect distraction. If all you were good for was spending money then you would do just that you thought bitterly. Ten had frightened you with his smile, the way his face seemed bright and youthful but his spirit dark in ways you didn’t want to imagine. He reminded you of Andre, the way he brought you down and made you feel as if you were truly nothing.

You still wore the only dress you owned and just because of Ten’s family dealings you weren’t going to stop yourself from using his money. The more you could spend before Taemin all of a sudden decided he’d had enough of his life here and was ready to flee his position in the circus the better. You didn’t plan on leaving with him if he did. You’d already left everything behind once in your life and being penniless again was not an idea you fancied. If you played your part well there wasn’t a soul besides Ten who would doubt your sincerity and that was payment enough in your mind. Taemin had given you a perfect opportunity to mingle with the highest of aristocracy here each night at the red tent and you weren’t going to pass up the chance to make some money of your own for your own sense of security.

Trusting anyone and being indebted for life to anyone scared the hell out of you and even though Taemin seemed like some star-crossed spirit no matter how hard you tried to push the thought aside you weren’t about to trust in his motives anytime soon. The more his soul tugged at yours and the more your heart softened as you experienced his pain. When you spoke last night together it had frightened you and it did not change the fact that he was just human. A beautiful godlike figure but mortal nonetheless and people were prone to deception.

You weren’t beyond using him as Ten had blatantly said, a deal was a deal after all and with every lingering touch and glance it was growing harder to ignore. As long as he didn’t muddle your interest in carnal pleasures for love you weren’t against it. In fact, it would probably be bliss to meet a passion so intense that it would make you forget Andre and his months of torment. A welcome distraction before parting ways in the future.

Ducking under the tent flap you spotted Taemin immediately. He was impossible to miss, sitting center-stage in a gilded birdcage that took up almost the entire stage. He sat on the swing hanging down from the top of his golden prison like some exotic bird in a royal menagerie. You could imagine how extravagant the costuming would be that night for the show, A spectral of colorful feathers and brightly painted eyelids but you found a pleasurable peace in watching him with practice gear, the white full-bodied leotard hugging every curve of his body.

His voice was sweeter than any birdsong and you found yourself inexorably drawn to him as you went to sit in the front row to watch. This time his song told the story of fame and loss. Of a being so popular his lifeblood existed on stage. It was like listening to Taemin’s deepest worries while learning all at once that he wouldn’t give all of this up for anything. It seemed that you had misjudged him, he wasn’t a prisoner to this circus but a slave to himself and his never-ceasing desire to give his all in every performance, even in one like this that was just for practice. He may have started down this path because of his need and Ten’s family but his heart was also here and with his fans as if this was what he was born to do. When he finished singing you cheered louder than you had before, making up for the empty seats. He smiled at you and ducked as the other performers lifted the cage enough for him to slip under.

“You're just in time my love,” He said extending a hand to you and pulling you onstage. “I’d like to introduce you to my family.” It was clear that by family he meant the other performers. They gathered around you with curiosity as he said, “Everyone, this is my fiancee Mademoiselle Basileia that I have spoken to you of.” You nodded at them all in turn with a smile before they began to ask questions that you knew were coming.

“Taem says you saved him! Is that true My Lady?” Said Valerie whom you remembered as the contortionist siren who had the opening act of the circus. Before you could answer a small middle-aged woman that you remembered faintly from the sidelines yesterday came bustling from backstage shouting, “Goddess be praised ye finally brought the lass over! I thought you would hide her away till the masquerade. The woman placed a glass of ice water in Taemin’s hands and kissed you on the cheeks.

“This is Madame Orla,” Taemin said.

“But you may call me Mother Orla,” she said taking your hand in her own. “Taemin, Yule is in less than two weeks, aren't ye going to take your future bride and buy her a gown for the ball. You know how ruffled the merchants get when you don’t give them dew notice! She’ll end up wearing some premade ill-fitting thing. She said in a chastising voice filled with love and amusement.

It suddenly struck you that this Yule ball was not just any Winter Solstice gathering but rather the ball. The Chittaphons threw elaborate parties all year that was to be sure but their annual Yule Masquerade ball held in their own manor was unlike any other. It was almost magical in its limited guest list and famed extravagance and after your visit to the Hall of Mirrors, your mind could scarcely wrap around the idea of what their manor would look like. It was one of Lily’s favorite pastimes to write about one or all of the girls at Muldale attending, like Cinderella appearing at the palace. It hadn’t even occurred to you that you were now invited as Taemin’s fiancee to the event.

“Mother Orla, why don’t you give her a proper Sibylline greeting while I change. Taemin said kissing your forehead and further solidifying the ‘couple’ myth as the dancers tittered at his small show of affection. “Mother Orla is a seer,” He whispered into your ear before walking backstage.

You didn’t believe in fortune-telling, it was all a play of lucky guesses and pretty lies that the client wanted to hear but you pushed these thoughts aside and decided to indulge Orla as she lead you with her to sit in a small round table backstage.

“I read palms,” Orla said. “In palmistry, the lines of your passive hand signifies what you were born with and the attributes the gods have given you while your dominant hand signifies what you have done with that potential and the choices you choose to make. May I?” She said gesturing to your dominant hand. You gave it to her gingerly, your palm faced up and resting in her gentle hands as she skidded her fingers along yours and studied the line that rested at the top of your palm and ended under your pinky finger.

“Well, your heart line starts below your middle finger. This suggests that you are a leader who is independent and you have a keen sense of intellect. However, this intelligence indicates that you combine romance with rationality and careful calculation.” She frowned before continuing, “ You are selfish with your love and quite materialistic, you are not happy unless you control your surroundings and this leads you to act coldly towards others.” Your eyes widened slightly in surprise, a bit taken aback by the honesty of her words. “See the way your love line is forked with indecision form your brain and heart at war with each other?” You nodded, actually agreeing with her on this point. Love was illogical to you and suffocating, it made you feel trapped. “Yet your heart longs for freedom as well, perhaps from your past, you are much like a lone she-wolf lass, stubborn as a mule but hungry for passion. If you aren’t careful your stubbornness will devour you and lead to the capture of your free spirit, found by the hunter that you fear.” You shuttered then at the comparison as you remembered the wolf in your nightmare. Perhaps the wolf was you and the hunter in this fable your father, the connection was clear and unavoidable.

Orla moved on, paying attention to the line that ran down the center of your palm. “You may find this news more promising. Your Fate Line shows your talent in creating relationships even if they are imbalanced by personal gain. You will have someone faithful to you, a helpmate to strengthen your personal ties and belief in trust. But be warned, if you remain distrustful your life will be a lonely path indeed.” Orla said, utter seriousness in her tone. You pulled your hand away not looking her in the eye.

“Well, what do the stars say of our love Orla?” Taemin said as he came towards them dressed in plaid red pants, black boots, and a black and white jacket that somehow fit together marvelously.

“It was by fate that your soul encountered hers, I believe you will be her salvation if trust blooms and she your downfall should it crumble,” Orla told him solemnly.

Taemin took your arm and entwined it with his. “Thank you for the reading Orla,” Taemin said brushing aside her grim account with a sideways smile. “But I believe Basileia and I have a way of steering fate in our favor.” You bowed your head as a thank you for the reading and left the tent with him. You didn’t turn around even as you felt Orla’s eyes pierced your back.

It was a short drive into the bustling city. The heart of New Celes was alight with Yuletide celebration. Trees were decorated in colored lights and wreaths were hung in every shop. Taemin brought you to a woman’s clothing store filled with elaborate day gowns and business slacks, helping you pick out a few and waiting by the fitting room as you tried on the ones you liked. You modeled a few for him, spinning around in slow circles as he watched the way the fabric cascaded down your legs and hugged your hips.

He found a pair of gold-rimmed heels and knelt to the floor, you lifted your skirt and he slipped them onto your feet, avoiding contact as he did so. Watching his gentle hands against the heel brought a pang of annoyance to your chest. He was so careful with you, so distant, so cold.

“I believe these will be perfect for the masked ball,” Taemin said rising from the floor. You nodded and turned away to head back to the fitting room, your cheeks felt hot and you were ready to take the damn long dress off. You didn’t like the way it dragged across the floor no sooner had you thought it then you tripped over the fabric and tumbled off the mirrored platform. He was there in an instant, catching you by the shoulders and breaking your fall. You looked up at him, his face closer than it ever had been, even in sleep he’d kept at a distance. But now you felt his chest against yours, the beat of his heart one with the rise and fall of your breasts and his warm hands against your skin. His eyes met yours and yet you were the first to break the stare. “Thank you.” You straightened and he released you.

“I’ll be next door fitting for my Yule costume,” he said. “It's best if we surprise each other though most couples like to match but I believe I’ll let fate decide this one.” His eyes were back to that blank lazy submission, any sparkle of openness lost as he turned and made his way towards the front of the store.

It didn’t take you long to choose a Yuletide costume. You simply thought of what Lily would have chosen and the decision was done. You had to admit the symbolism of such a costume would be lost on no one and it gave you a thrill to think of it.

“And whom should I put the dress under for pickup My Lady? The seamstress said as she marked down the measurements of your waist, neckline, and shoulders into a massive book of orders.

“You may put it under my name Madame Escoffier,” Taemin said as he came into the shop again with several bags. “I haven't seen you in months ma fée,” The woman said sweetly coming to kiss his cheeks.” Her fairy indeed you thought, marveling at his jovial demeanor and quick smiles. It was a gift he seemed to possess, he influenced the aura around him either radiating cold magnetic charm or sunshine that no one could escape.

“You tell Orla I’m waiting for a visit soon.” Madame Escoffier said as you walked out of her shop. Taemin grabbed the bags and assured the lady he would.

Next, Taemin took you to a small antique shop on the end on the street. The store was filled with old-fashioned bonnets expensive fishing rods and pendants. In the jewelry case, you found many pieces of faux earrings and necklaces and you wondered why they warranted the extra protection till your eyes fell upon a pearl necklace. Even if it was a fake you had to admit that the clasp and the sheen of glossy pearls were beautiful. “That one, I’ll take it,” Taemin said to the clerk when he saw you looking at the necklace. “You’ll need something old for the wedding won’t you?” He said with a conspiratorial laugh as he fastened the pearls around your neck.

“Thank you,” you said somehow touched at this least extravagant gift than all the rest today.

“Anything for my enchanting bride to be.” He said loudly enough for the clerk to hear. Taemin offered you a hand as you exited into the frosty streets and you took it gladly. It had gotten considerably colder and just when you were about to ask Taemin to hand you the new blue coat you had bought, a man with a tattooed shoulder of a vibrant rose-red she-wolf moved past. You clutched your own shoulder and shivered but not from the cold as you remembered the design of the tattoo all too well. The absence of the Scarlet Wolf Groupe resurfaced in your mind like a brand. You remembered the day long ago when you had burned it off your skin with the candle wax on your bedside table. The horror on Madame Dupont’s face when she’d found your scar was soon mended with makeup and lacy shoulder bands till the scars grew less apparent than a birthmark.

Taemin hadn't missed the look of fear that crossed your face as the man walked past. Of course, he never missed anything, you thought as you made your face blank and continued to make your way to the car. Once inside Taemin didn’t spare a minute before he said, “It’s growing more and more perilous each night in New Celes. You would think the Chittaphons would be a little more subtle about where their alliances lie. He said revving the engine.

Your head whipped toward his. “What do you mean his ally?”

“Just what I said, the Scarlet Wolf is a long-time friend of the family. They do the Chittaphon’s dirty work like the dogs they are.” Taemin said, a look of disgust marring his perfect features and sending ice toward your veins.

“It's an insane idea even for Ten to invite such mongrels to the masquerade under the guise of a truce. The Chittaphon’s seek “peace” with the beasts for the people of New Celes and wish to end their reign but it’s all a ploy to lure in the Alpha and assert their command. The leader of that rabid pack gets their money from someone we know.”

Your face paled and you couldn’t hide the panic in your voice as you said: “The Alpha is coming to the Yule Ball?”

“Yes, but don’t worry he’s not the chatty sort, he said with worry as he took his eyes off the road to assess you. “You look as if you’ve seen a ghost, Lady Basileia.” He didn’t know how right he was. You remained silent for the rest of the ride back to the hotel.

You wanted to tell Taemin you couldn’t attend the ball but every time you did your words faltered. Going to the ball wasn’t just about you, it was for Taemin, it was for the entire scheme you had agreed to. Without your presence, it would be a nightmare for him and you would be entirely responsible. Your own voice nagged at you that it wasn’t Taemin’s safety you worried for but your own.

Telling anyone you were the daughter to the Alpha of the Scarlet Wolf would make you a bargaining chip and a dangerous one. You didn’t want to think about what Ten could do, what leverage he would gain if you were discovered. The brand on your shoulder burned again, as if alive, tying you to your past like a collar. There was no love lost between you and your father that was certain, but it didn’t mean he wouldn’t want you back now. As a child you posed less of a threat, he probably thought you dead. But now if he ever knew you were still alive he would be afraid of the pack secrets you could reveal, the names you could sell and he would hunt you down without remorse.

It was a masquerade after all, a festival of hidden faces and fluttering fans with a father you haven't seen in over fifteen years. He would not recognize you. And yet even with all of these excuses in your mind, your guilt ate away at you and the string of pearls Taemin had given you seemed to constrict around your neck in reminder.

Your loud thoughts were easier to dispel in the daytime but when night fell and you found yourself seeking the quiet comfort of Taemin’s company beside yours it grew harder and harder to remain silent and even more willpower to stay still. When you heard his breathing even out into a blissful sleep some nights you would turn over and look at his peaceful face- or what you could see of it from the dim bedside candlelight. Every fiber of your being craved contact. It was as if an insatiable fire had grown alight inside you,

Your fingers ached to trace the bridge of his nose from forehead to the unique dip of his lip. But you didn’t. You lay your head upon the pillow and fell away to darkness even as your body felt aflame in its own perpetual inferno.

As the days grew closer and closer to the festival you’d had enough. You spent your nights in your own room, or else wear. You gathered money from new clients and disguised yourself with makeup and washable hair dyes. It was after the fifth night of going on in this fashion that you found Taemin in your room. It was four in the morning and you’d decided to leave your client asleep in his bed, helping yourself to a bottle of Champagne as you left. You hadn’t drunk much at all but when you saw Taemin leaning against the mantle of the fireplace as you entered your chambers you wished you had.

You set the bottle on your bedside table carefully, not meeting his eyes.

“You’re back,” he said the obvious with a thinly laced veil of anger he was trying so desperately to conceal. “You shouldn’t be out at this hour, the Scarlet Wolf patrols are always about at night-”

“Who are you to say when I should or shouldn’t be out, are you my keeper? Do you think I will owe you forever.” You said placing cash on the table beside him and pushing it toward him. “Here is a week’s worth, I’ll pay off my emblem slowly but it will be done.”

“I never asked you to pay me back! I only asked you to keep up our agreement. His voice grew louder now as he took in your wrinkled gown and the stockings you’d draped across your arm.

“Why don’t you just say what we both know is really on your mind.” You said, your voice growing heated as well. Your head felt as if it would burst and your feet were near freezing. “It hurts your pride that as your fiancee I was out hell knows where and with whom in the dead of night am I right?”

“Yes, It does bother me! I didn’t only make this arrangement for me Basileia.” He said coming closer. The light of the fire only added to the fervor in his eyes as he reached for you. One warm hand against your frigid collarbone. He pulled at the string of pearls around your neck till he found the clasp and set it loose, they fell to the floor with a clatter. His eyes meet yours as he said, “Is this Champagne life of luxuries all you desire? It bothers me to have you sleeping in another man’s bed with the present I gave you around your neck.”

You stood so still you could hardly breathe. The passion in his eyes was frightening but not in the perilous way you were used to. Taemin’s hand across your skin wasn’t suffocating as Andre’s would be if anything you wanted him to pull you closer. His eyes were filled with a word you dared not say, it was sweeter than lust, more consuming than meer obsession. And so you dangled it before you like a token in your mind. It was love; bold, bright, and hopeful, dancing in his irises like tongues of fire. “I thought..” His voice was a broken whisper now. “I thought you would be happier here.”

You were happier here with him. Happier than any time in your life. But to stay? To make the lie between you real?

“I sometimes forget this is a lie.” You said softly, motioning between yourself and him. “When you touch me I forget myself.”

He smiled then as if you had given him the world. He leaned in and whispered against your ear, “Then why not make this our reality, why pretend when we both want this? He took your hands in his “Or am I not enough?”

“You are more than enough, Taemin.” You said bringing his hands to your lips. “You’ve made me care like I never thought I could. You saw worth in me even when I looked upon myself in shame. And I will always be grateful to you but because of who I am I cannot stay in one place for long or dare to love someone.”

He extricated himself from your hands, a mask of ice was forming once more across his features, shielding his emotions away and in that moment you knew that if you didn’t tell him the truth you would lose him forever and that frightened you more than his love.

“My father is the leader of the Scarlet Wolf, Taemin. I can’t allow him to notice me if I stay too long.” His eyes widened, the shock melting his indifference. “I could never be a part of them and because I severed the ties between us he will certainly want me back if he finds I’m alive.

“Is that why you stayed at Muldale? Did you feel you had to atone for your father’s mistakes by selling yourself?” His voice wasn’t laced with pity or animosity, he looked as if he truly wanted to know. It was honestly a question you had asked yourself many times.

“No,” you said finally and he seemed a bit relieved by the answer. “My father’s sins, the Alpha’s sins, are his own. I only wanted to make a life apart from his and I made it in the best way I believed I could given my situation.”

He nodded at this, seeming satisfied that you weren't running yourself to the ground out of some twisted obligation to erase the Alpha’s blood from your veins.

“I do care for you,” You said with much more conviction this time. The words tumbled out awkwardly but that didn’t make them any less true. You felt it needed to be said aloud, if not for you then for him. For the man before you who wore his heart on his sleeve in your presence. “I want you, more than I have ever wanted anything in my life.” You said, and a look of hopeful bliss crossed his features once more. He wrapped you into his embrace, his chin resting on your head as he played with the ends of your hair.

“And I suppose you were going to wait till after the masquerade when you finished dancing with death to tell me all this?” He sounded worried and so you reassured him with the same phrases you'd kept telling yourself over and over.

“He won’t recognize me, it’s been so many years.”

“It’s a bad idea, I can make up some excuse for not attending. If we go every eye will be on you. Our story is quite the talk in city gossip as it is.”

“All the more reason we must go. I won't sabotage your plans to show ourselves as a couple. Besides, the best way to hide is right under the Alpha’s nose.”

The inside of your gown scratched a bit against your skin but you had to admit it was worth it. The dress clung to your body perfectly and yet the bodice was breathable. The midnight-blue fabric swayed as you walked and the little golden stars, suns, and crescent moons sewn onto the shimmering canopy layer glowed just as brightly as the mask you wore. It was a simple mask, shaped like a butterfly.

A delicate pair of gossamer wings attached to the back of your gown and seemed to merge with your back. The wings were stunning enough that they had taken your breath away when the costume had arrived wrapped carefully in parchment in the hands of Marguerite. The girl pinned tiny flower clips into your hair and as you gazed into the long mirror in your room now you found an ethereal Faerie Queen stared back. At a light knocking on the door you turned from your reflection to open it and it was then that your heart truly caught in your throat.

Taemin had dyed his hair to a light white-blonde shade. Clips of hair the same hue cascaded down his shoulders. His eyes twinkled mischievously through the golden mask that covered half of his upper face. Golden antlers grew from the top of his mask with flowers growing from their tips and on his forehead was a crown made of leaves. His ears were pointed and a pair of wings also graced his back. A green velvet cape matched the single opera glove on his left hand as well as his pants. The ruffled white shirt with golden buttons closed to the collar granted him an air of nobility. You let out a wide smile at his choice of costume.

“Pleased to make your acquaintance Lord Oberon, King of the Forest.” You curtsied slightly and he followed your example with a smile and bow of his own.

“Likewise fair Queen Mab, Lady of Air and Darkness.” He said. Taking your hand into his gloved one and kissing the back of it.

“How in blazes did you know I would dress up as the Faerie queen of the Winter Court.” You asked him, only a little annoyed that he’d peeked at your costume.

“I didn’t I swear. Fate is really in our favor.”

“Or the Fates are against us!” you said with a laugh. “Your queen Titania is not one to be double-crossed. You’re the King of the Summer Court and a Seelie at that! However would our love survive?”

“Opposites attract My Lady, you are as lovely and cold as snow. I cannot bear to part with you. Where others may say the Unseelie bring nothing but misfortune, I see beauty in those icy veins and a heart that beats as rapidly as mine own.”

You lose it then, doubling over in laughter. “You are quite good at this.”

“I was born to appear on stage, are you really all that surprised.”

“Before we go would you help me with something.” You said, moving towards the vanity and taking the string of pearls you placed in his palm before moving your hair away from the nape of your neck. He fastened it, his hands lingering on your skin a moment longer and then he extended his elbow. You took it, entwining your arm in his. When you looked toward him you felt the rampant wave of emotions that radiated from him as he took in the pearls across your throat and your painted plum-colored lips so near yet not near enough.

When you arrived at the Chittaphon Manor you were greeted by several footmen waiting at the door. Once inside you craned your neck up to look at the high ceilings covered in paintings as you walked upon the red-carpeted marble floors. The ballroom was filled with diamond chandeliers and scented red candles that smelled of cinnamon. There were so many people dancing to the vivacious orchestra and they were all hidden under masks, even the musicians themselves were in costume. Servants bustled about in black suits and dresses with the masks of ravens carrying trays of champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries.

Your descent from the grand staircase had not gone unnoticed and Taemin squeezed your hand to reassure you as many eyes turned to watch you both. In spite of (or rather because of) his costume there was no mistaking Taemin or his companion. The crowd murmured as you passed and you supposed the sight of Taemin attending any party with a woman would stir up this much gossip and jealous eyes. Taemin didn’t ignore their gazes, he smiled politely as always and pulled you toward the center of the room and towards the company of your host.

You noticed Ten before he did. He was dressed in a fox mask and a red suit, looking ever the part of a depraved demon you thought. His eyes then fell upon Taemin and flicked to you. He said nothing, assessing your costume head to toe before saying, “Ah it would seem you have switched places. Forgive me but as everyone here can attest, myself included, if there were ever a faerie tyrant too bold and in possession of a stone heart it would be your prized husband-to-be mademoiselle.” Ten bowed and extended his hand, you gave him yours reluctantly but with so many eyes upon you, it was impossible to refuse him. You smiled, determined to keep your cheerful demeanor.

“I am glad we should meet again at last, Lady Basileia, though I find it a shame you did not come dressed as Hestia, or some other hearth maiden as you bring so many men warmth on these frigid winter nights.” Ten’s eyes twinkled in amusement and the meaning of his words was not lost upon you as you heard Taemin clear his throat beside you.

“And where are the rest of our hosts this evening, It would be a shame for Lady Basileia to miss them,” Taemin said.

“Mother and Father tire of these festivities easily.” Ten said, grabbing a glass of champagne from a passing tray and taking a sip. “They retreated to the gambling tables as soon as the music began.”

“Young Master, I believe your guest has arrived.” Said a servant in a crow mask to Ten who then excused himself.

“I’m afraid Ten knows far too much about your whereabouts,” Taemin whispered with one hand at the small of your back, guiding you through the dance floor and closer to the orchestra and swaying figures that brushed you by.

“But he couldn’t know about anything before Madame Dupont’s, Taemin. Even the Madame herself knew nothing of where I came from.”

Just then Ten appeared in the corner of your eye again. He watched the two of you and the weight of resentment you felt from his gaze was enough to make you act rashly. If he did know anything of your past it was better to lure the truth out. Better the devil you know than die of ignorance too late.

When Taemin grabbed a chocolate-covered strawberry passing on a tray you took his hand before he could eat it and moved his fingers to your mouth. The plum-colored lips that had so hypnotized Taemin before now took the fruit along with two of his fingers. Your tongue left not a trace of chocolate behind as the warmth of your mouth enveloped him and he thought he would lose his sanity as you moved closer, taking him in farther.

“What are you doing,” Taemin hissed. His voice was shaken and you gleamed triumphantly as you released him.

“Merely speeding up our reluctant enemy.” You said as you searched for Ten again amid the crowd.

He was still watching, but his gaze had turned even darker and beside him stood a man that hadn’t been there before. It was Ten’s Guest who towered beside him and he was wearing a wolf mask. Leon Sauvage, the Alpha, stood ever too close to Ten like a familiar and comfortable lapdog. You turned your gaze away immediately.

“Let’s dance,” you said. Wrapping your arms around Taemin’s shoulder and pulling him closer as if it would shield you from the Alpha’s eyes.

After a few dances, you began to feel more at ease and relaxed into Taemin’s arms allowing the music to envelop you both into a bubble of happiness that you hadn’t known had been busting inside of you. Under different circumstances, at a different party, you would have been wholly engulfed in his company.

The twist in your stomach returned all too soon however when Ten appeared behind Taemin and tapped him on the shoulder. “May I have a dance with the ravishing Queen Mab.” Ten said. When Taemin didn’t pull away from you he leaned in and said to Taemin, “It was so kind of you mon amour to decide to sing for us, truly more than I expected.”

Taemin paled at this and Ten only smirked as one of the servants announced loudly to the assembly, “And now I present Lord Lee Taemin, who will grace us with ‘Bird in a Gilded Cage’.”

“Go on, I do believe they are calling you. You wouldn't want to make a scene,” Ten said.

You nodded at Taemin to go and squeezed his hand in reassurance that you would be alright without him as he threw daggers with his eyes at Ten and walked toward the front of the crowd. When Taemin started to sing the ironically dark and sorrowful melody of a woman who wasted her youth on a man of fortune. Ten began to whirl you around the room looking ever the part of a gentleman to his many guests. But his grip on your waist and hand was like a vise.

“You’re like a dime,” you said when you couldn’t bear the silence any longer. “Two-faced, and not worth my time.” He laughed at that, it was a strange laugh like none you’d ever heard. It was boyish in its charm almost innocent even though his eyes were anything but. Still, the wide smile and flashing of teeth had caught you off guard once again. He held an air of pure calculation. Everything about him was deliberate, meticulous, dangerous and beautiful in its ferality.

“Quite the handful aren't you, it's no wonder he can’t keep you for himself.” Ten said as he caught a ringlet of your hair and twirled it between his fingers. When you slapped his hand away he only grinned again then leaned in to whisper in your ear, “It matters not how many gowns and diamonds you wear, a wolf is a wolf, even in a gilded cage, even dressed in silk. And his daughter,” he said holding you tighter, “Is no exception.”

He knew then. Your heart pounded frantically as you began to race through plans of escape in your mind but Ten’s hands held too firmly to you.

“Perhaps instead of thinking about escaping me, you should start thinking about what the Alpha can do to Taemin if you don’t leave him.” His words stopped your writhing as you stared at him. “Telling the world who you are would indeed sour Taemin’s reputation but only for a time. It's simply not enough, eventually they would just say you cast a spell on him, that with your succubus charms and angelic words you stole him away from the public and his many admirers. Martyr that he is he wouldn’t oppose to gossip for your honor. What is an idol without fame but a beaten dreamer out on the streets and you know how rough that can be my dear. The fool thinks he loves you, well he can love you from his grave.” Your eyes widened as the full force of his words came to rest upon you.

“Your father is a wealthy man because of me, one word and I'll have those mutts of the Scarlet Groupe tear Taemin to pieces right before your eyes.

“Ten,” you said gripping his arms now. “If you still bear one shred of love for him, please don’t do this.”

“Oh my dear sweet vixen, he said tilting your chin up. “I won’t be the one breaking his heart, you will or else our songbird with never sing again.” And with that Ten spins you straight into your father’s arms.

“My how you've grown,” The Alpha said, as he lead you along the dance floor. You were too stunned for words to slip away. You’d forgotten the gentle rumble of your father's voice, at odds with his intimidating demeanor and brash fits of violence. You saw his eyes soften as he looked upon you and it silenced you into submission. You had always been the omega of the Scarlet Wolf, distanced from the blood-lust and ostracized from their plotting. You remembered then the last time you’d seen your father’s disappointed eyes as he’d turned away and left you in the snow. It was a show of strength, if you had come back alive from the cold it would prove your worthiness and loyalty. But you had run away, abandoning your kin just as your father had abandoned you in his heart. You firmly believed he’d never once believed you would survive that winter alone.

“When the young master told me you were still alive I could scarcely believe it. I thought it was a trick to lord over me but it wasn’t. Come back to us, there is nothing for you here.” Your father said. “There is a wildness in your eyes just as there is in mine, you do not belong in the freak show that man calls art.”

“You left me for dead! Why would I ever return? Especially now when you are nothing but a lapdog to the ringmaster and his family.”

“I prefer bloodhound,” he said his voice turning colder now. “I had the feeling you would refuse but this isn’t personal anymore it’s simple diplomacy. The young master would like you to leave New Celes and Taemin. I spoke with him and we have come to an agreement. If you leave before dawn he will meet you in the Hall of Mirrors and grant you a small fortune to live on as well as safe passage. You will not be followed out of the city.”

“And if I refuse this generous offer?”

“Well, I will have to kill Taemin upon my young master’s orders.”

“Why not just kill me then, It would save you both the trouble. You know you want to. Leaving the pack is a criminal offense in your eyes is it not?”

“As I said before personal matters are behind us but that does not mean I will enjoy seeing you die, daughter. Your mind is of no use to me anymore, the names you remember, the knowledge of the pack even. Many things have changed since then and I would rather see you off safely than have you come to harm because of the young master’s whims.”

His earnestness surprised you. You’d thought for certain he would want you dead but instead, he was bargaining for your future and safety?

“I am obliged to follow the young master’s words. It’s best you heed him or others will suffer. I’ve seen him shed more blood over less. I am merely the blade in his hands and his orders will be obeyed.” The song ended and he bowed before slipping away into the crowd.

Just then a scream cut through the ballroom and the crowd went to circle a body that had collapsed. You pushed your way through only to find a young woman on the floor. One of the candelabras had collapsed and she’d fell with it, hitting her head in the process. You would have believed it an accident if the woman had been anyone else. But there lay Valerie her delicate frame motionless in Taemin’s arms as he picked her up calling frantically all the while for a doctor. It was a message meant for you and as you met Ten’s vicious gaze you knew what would happen if you didn’t do as he wished.

“She’ll be fine, Valerie is awake now.” You said to Taemin again as you both made your way back to the hotel.

“I know’ it’s just…” Taemin let out the shaky breath he’d seemed to be holding the past two hours as they’d brought Valerie to the Chittaphon’s personal physician at Ten’s request of course. You’d watched helplessly as she began to regain her senses slowly after the physician treated her head and held smelling salts to her nose. Valerie had been groggy and complained of a gastly headache but she was otherwise unharmed and it had taken a bit of insistence on your part and Orla’s for Taemin to leave her side and get some rest.

It reminded you of the way you used to sit by Lily’s bedside while she had a fever. You’d watch over her and read to her for days until she was well. It comforted you that while you were leaving him behind Taemin wouldn’t be alone. He had a family here no matter how strange his position seemed to be he seemed to thrive amid the madness.

As you looked toward Taemin now pacing like a lion and deep in thought you wondered at the ache in your chest. Maybe you’d always worshipped things you couldn’t have and now that you had him before you, you couldn't bear to let him go.

“I saw you dancing with your father,” Taemin said breaking you from your thoughts. “I wanted to intervene but by the time I got close enough the dance had already ended and Valerie- Well I’m just sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

“No it’s alright,” you said. “I wasn’t in any danger, it seems my father rather I rejoin him than kill me.” And so you proceeded to tell him of your refusal and decided it was best to say nothing of Ten’s plans.

You didn’t want him to worry, you didn’t want to spend your last hours together explaining yourself or talking him into the idea of you leaving him. Perhaps it was greedy of you to want him to yourself just a while longer, but self-denial had never been your virtue and neither had patience.

“Your song helped me push through my unease tonight,” you said coming towards him and turning. “Would you mind detaching my wings?” You said with an impish smile. “Marguerite has already gone to bed and I’d hate to wake her.”

With nimble hands he began to untie the knot at the small of your back and peeled the wings away slowly. Your back brushed against his chest and you held his gaze over your shoulder. In that moment you were reminded of the carvings in the Hall Of Mirrors that had gleamed in the sun. He was a golden angel, a graven image you dared not touch and yet you burned for him.

Taemin stood so still, frozen in place as if even a whisper would scare you away. You felt as if you were standing at the edge of a cliff with hell down below. And so you welcomed the chaos of your desire as well as its many demons. You kissed him with all the rapture of an ending world. Your tongue caught the honey of his lips your breath heavy and untamed.With every button you loosened he grew unraveled. With every tug of his hair he was conquered.

He ran his fingers through your hair sending flower pins flying as he pulled you closer. His lips sent feather-light kisses down your bare shoulder that set your heart racing. Your neck tilted back with the echo of his name on your lips and he claimed them with ravenous abandon. You’d forgotten to feel the depths of your loneliness till now. Before you survived living like a hollowed shell but now that emptiness was filled with something so sweet and new and it made you tremble. Your hands wandered across his chest as he probed your mouth with his tongue, it danced with your own in a blaze of heat and need.

You slid from your gown, loosening the fabric that caught at your ankles and guided him towards the bed. Every move you made was languorous like a slow prowl your eyes and fingers traced every new patch of skin till you reached the uneven valley of his back and halted. Taemin seemed to come out of his torrid haze in that moment as well. His body seemed to lock in on itself in dread as you moved behind him and beheld his back.

You were unable to hold in the gasp that escaped your lips and quickly you brought one hand to your mouth as if you could take it back. There along the curve of his spine and the center of his back were scars etched deep into his skin that looked as if an animal had clawed him. No not an animal but a monster you realized as you took in the unnatural pattern they left behind. The lines were shaped like a cross as they overlapped each other and in them the indisputable initial ‘T’ stood.They were whip lashings as brazen as the demon who had given them. You coiled your fists in the sheets, rage swelled within you as well as grief. It was as if Taemin’s body was an extension of your own and every slash of pain bit into your heart.

“I’m fine.” Taemin said as he wiped your tears with his thumb.

“How can you say that! How can you stay here with him watching your every move. What he has done to you is unforgivable and yet you stay. You felt sick and so very tired. Your fingers moved along the scars and Taemin allowed it. Watching you over his shoulder as if he was trying to find the words to help you understand.

“Ten was always a devil in hiding, he took what he wanted and I never questioned his behavior. I was young and so blinded by admiration and blissful ignorance. In those days he could have set the world ablaze and called it snow, heaven knows I would have believed him.” Taemin said brokenly in a whisper of shame.

“It was so easy to love his smile that even when I found out about the family business I confronted him in the hope that he wasn’t a part of it.” Taemin continued. “I could not believe that the boy who would awaken at dawn just to paint the sky and sketch portraits of me while he thought I wasn't looking was really a monster.” Taemin shook his head and took your hand in his.

“Once he found out I knew about the family business his careful mask seemed to fall around me day by day till one night Ten’s father had me sleep with the Countess Marie de Froissy. It wasn’t unusual for him to ask this of me. He often tried to further his own investments with the information the wives of stockholders and other aristocrats told me.” His eyes flicked toward you when he said this and the words Taemin had said when you first met came to your mind, ‘You and I are more alike than you know.’

It took until now to fully realize the extent of those words. You’d both grown up in two separate prisons unable to alter the lives you were given and you both had been so alone. It was then that you showed him where the mark of your kin had been on your shoulder before you’d rid yourself of the hold they had on you. What a fine pair we make.

“Ten was angry at his father and wanted to make it so that he never sent anyone to me again.” Taemin said. “I believe in his own twisted mind he probably thinks it was a gift. But I have learned to not let it define me.”

“I see that by the way you hold yourself.” You said, moving towards him and letting his arms encircle you in warmth. “With every dance and soul-filled song you've shed these scars and now wear them as wings.” You said as you moved to kiss the scars on his back stroking the lines with the tip of your tongue like a baptism as you painted it across him. He let out an unholy groan that set your skin on fire.

You pushed him down unto the silken sheets and held him captive with your lips on his again as you straddled his hips, poised upon him as if he were your throne. You trailed your hair down his chest, the strands gliding across him in slow excruciating designs; the thrust of your hips inducing a moan that mirrored your own.

You reached for the clasp at your neck, unfastening the pearls and embracing the coolness of their touch as they slid pleasurable against your palm. You took the strand in your hands and encircled the beads around his length moving them back and forth against him in a way that made him whimper and quiver, sending a rush of excitement through your veins.

And then he was there settling above you. His elbows were propped up on either side of your head and the smell of his skin, cinnamon and vanilla enthralled you again. He nestled between your legs, moving inside you with such slow, torturous, movements at first that set your body burning with insatiable hunger until suddenly you couldn’t hum to the rhythm of his hips anymore and the inside of your heavy eyelids were covered in stars.

The Hall of Mirrors was an entirely different place at night. The mirrors and statues cast queer shadows in the darkness with only the moonlight coming through the archways for light. The chandeliers chimed against each other lightly as the brisk wind of an open window brushed across them.

You wondered if the letter you’d left Taemin behind would be the first thing he would see when he woke up alone and your heart constricted at the thought. You hadn’t said much, it wouldn’t really have been a goodbye if you had but a promise of something more and you weren’t cruel enough the leave him hope that you would return. Your words were brutal and dipped in half-lies that made you want to throw the paper into the fire before he could ever read it but you hadn’t. Instead you’d dressed, grabbed your few belongings and shut the door.

“I’m glad you could make it,” Ten’s amused voice came from behind you breaking you from your trance and in the next instant you heard the door click shut. You turned to see his wolfish grin as he crossed the room towards you and placed a single candle with its stand onto a table. You gave him a glare fixed with murderous intent.

“I didn’t have much choice did I?” You responded bitterly. “Give me the money and tickets before I kill you for what you’ve done to him! I’ve seen the markings on his back, the way you branded yourself onto his skin.” Tears came to your eyes now and you let them fall you didn’t care anymore if this inhuman creature saw you wither at last for he had won and he knew it. “How can you live as if you have authority over all creation? Is everything a game to you?”

“Ahh yes, those tokens of my love. Tell me, when you kissed his scars and traced my name across his back are you sure it was your face he saw as you slept with him or mine.” His eyes gleamed in the candlelight with such perverse pleasure that you could hold back no longer.

You flew at him with hands and teeth. Clawing at his perfect features with your nails as if he had released some rabid thing inside of you. A maniacal storm unleashing itself as you let your repulsion, your hatred, overtake you. You had sworn never to use the abilities of your kin again but your anger took over and with it the bloodlust.

You felt a surge of strength flow through you and with one swift motion, your nails raked across Ten’s face. He screamed, pushing you away with such force that you crashed into one of the mirrors. You covered your face with your arms as you fell to the floor, glass shattering around you. Then Ten was there pinning you down as he sat against your thighs, his hands grabbing at your throat. You felt the blood from his wound dripping across your face as he leaned over you. You’d missed his eye but just barely, the slashes around it had gone deep.

You could feel your strength waning as it always had before, one moment there then gone. You cursed yourself for your lack of power in a body so wasted away since birth that it only ever held a spark of ability unlike the rest of your kin who quaked with it.

“What’s the matter, runt? Was that all you could do? Ten taunted. He pulled at the pearls on your throat till it snapped sending a shower of beads across the floor amid broken glass.

“I meant it when I said this room wouldn’t hold your wedding. It was meant for something far greater: your funeral.’’ Ten said as he grabbed a shard of glass from the floor and drew it towards your chest. Just as suddenly a shadow swept into the room through the open window at an inhuman speed coming between you and the glass.

You screamed as the Alpha’s vest started to soak in blood. The shard had gone right to his heart and you held his hand in shock as his face grew paler.

“I couldn’t fail you a second time.” Your father said, his eyes meet yours and you knew then that no matter what had happened in the past, he had missed you. The Alpha let out a clear whistle with his last breath before falling limp in your arms. You shook him in disbelief. The strongest person you knew was dead.

It wasn’t long before Ten was surrounded by men and women in scarlet cloaks and furs. In response to the call of their leader and in a rage over their Alpha’s lifeless body they descended upon Ten like a pack of wolves in earnest till he lay across the marble floor, eyes dull and wide.

The members of the scarlet wolf gathered their leader’s body with careful hands and pulled you to the open window. It was only then that you heard the shout of Ten’s guard as you were whisked away from the scene by a family you thought you had left behind forever.

#Taemin #taemin fanfic #taemin imagines #taemin smut #SHINee fanfic #taemin au #ten fanfic #Taemin circus au #My writing #taemin fanfiction

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bittysvalentines · 4 years

Text

Take The Shot

From: @loveyoutoobits

To: @hockeydyke

Summary: Jack Zimmermann is the captain of the Providence Falconers. Following a win, his parents had decided to take him out to dinner, where Jack let his high from the win dictate how much to drink, for better or for worse. Eric Bittle, on the other hand, was working hard. A food critic's job is a lonely one sometimes, and the most interesting thing about this one was the man sitting only a few tables away. Their eyes meet, and the poor waitress working their tables would rather go home instead of take part in this mess.

Rating: T Tags: alcohol consumption (legal)

This is halfway what you wanted, since it is partly a non-hockey AU. Even if one of them still plays hockey. Hope you enjoy!

Jack knew that he probably shouldn’t have asked for another glass. He was high off the win and a little past his comfortably tipsy level, meaning his inhibitions were slowly slipping away and he was likely to make a fool of himself.

Of course, it all started before his second glass, when he had spotted the cute blond man a few tables away who had looked a little sad surrounded by a couple plates of food. Their eyes had met, the blond man’s widening, and Jack had looked away first, hiding his blush behind his glass.

“Jack? Is something wrong?” Alicia had looked at him with a strange look. Jack shook his head in answer, but considering he was at least a little bit tipsy, he risked telling his parents anyways.

“No, nothing, but… <I just met eyes with that man, the sad one in the corner?> He slipped into French, hoping only his parents would be able to understand him.

<The blond one?> Bob easily followed his lead, having looked over his shoulder to see who it was Jack meant. The restaurant was pretty empty this late at night, so it wasn’t hard.

<Yeah.> Jack risked another glance at the man, but he had his gaze firmly back on his meal. How many dishes did he order, anyways?

<Christ Jack, you really do have a type.> Bob shook his head with a chuckle, and Jack was glad his cheeks were already flushed from the alcohol. <Why don’t you go talk to him?>

<No!> Jack’s voice rose unintentionally, and he grimaced apologetically at the other patrons who looked their way. To Jack’s embarrassment, the man in the corner looked over too, but his attention turned back to his phone.

Jack took to a harsh whisper to make up for his small outburst, shooting his father a look. <No, papa, I will not go and talk to a complete stranger. That is a recipe for disaster.>

<Jack, don’t be so melodramatic. You’ve been out for years.>

<That’s not the point. What if he’s not--what if he doesn’t like men?> Jack took another sip of his drink. While it was just a deeper shade of tipsy, it certainly helped with the mortification he felt from this conversation. He wasn’t sure why he had opened his mouth at all.

<What’s the point in never trying? You know, you miss 100% of the shots you never take, right?>

Jack rolled his eyes, a common phrase Bob had thrown his way in regards to everything: joining the NHL after his year off, coming out sooner rather than later. Pushing him towards anyone that caught Jack’s eye. The last one rarely worked.

<I think...> I need another drink.” Jack replied instead, and right on cue the waitress came back with a fresh glass. Jack wondered how she knew to come by, but he didn’t question it, as his last glass had finally run dry. Jack gave the waitress a grateful smile, and idly watched as she walked away--towards the blond man’s table.

Jack nearly choked on his drink, thinking about the odds of them sharing a waitress. A dangerous idea was filtering into his mind, and another sip made it seem like just a bit smarter. His mind working through the idea and his fascination with the man in the corner, Jack kept talking, maybe against his better judgement.

His parents had shared a look that Jack had elected to ignore, but they continued to humor him.

<He might have, or that might just be his face.> Bob’s eyes betrayed the joke, but Jack missed it, still watching the man as he typed away on his phone.

<This is a reservation only restaurant, it’s a bit unusual to see someone eating all by themselves, isn’t it?> Jack took another sip, missing the concerned look that passed between his parents. He might have garnered an unhealthy obsession with the man, but he also hadn’t seen anyone so beautiful before.

<Jack, maybe we shouldn’t be talking about someone behind their back like this, even if he might not be able to understand us, it’s still rude.> Alicia, ever the voice of reason for the two hockey knuckleheads in her family, voiced her concern on death ears. Jack was slipping from tipsy to drunk for the first time in forever, stealing himself for his idea.

<Jack, maybe you should sober up a bit before you think about having a conversation like this with him.> Bob joined Alicia in her concern, but Jack was already laying out his plan, it just had one more piece necessary.

<Don’t worry, I won’t be the one asking.> Right on cue, the waitress was returning to their table with the check in hand. He had it all thought out, ready as soon as she asked the question.

“Will you three need anything else for today?” She smiled brightly at them, and Jack quickly smiled back before diving right into his plan.

“Yes. I’d like that man’s number.” He pointed to the man in the corner, completely satisfied with his execution. His parents, on the other hand, voiced their displeasure immediately, all while the waitress stood there a bit shocked.

“Jack, no!”

<That is not the way to handle this situation!> Bob shook his head at his son.

<What, papa? What better way: I won’t make a fool of myself this way. I won the game today, I deserve a little bit of mischief.” There may have been a few more warning signs that Jack should have picked up on, but he was a little too drunk to care. Generally speaking, that’s when he knew to shut his mouth.

The waitress stood there, shifting uncomfortably, glancing between him and the man in the corner. “Sir? I think I may have misheard you.”

“I’d appreciate it if you could go and ask that man sitting in the corner looking sad over several plates of food for his number. For me.” He added as a side note, finally losing some confidence as she kept staring at him.

“I… will certainly try, sir. Here is your check.” She forced a smile before placing the check down in front of Bob. Jack took it before his father could pull out his wallet. He figured he might as well pay for making dinner awkward. He placed his card in and handed it back to the waitress, who walked away with a few more glances between the two tables.

She came back a moment later, handing the check back to Jack. She looked at him as if she wanted to say something, and Jack had a feeling he knew what it was. Before she could say anything, the words were slipping through his mouth.

“You’re not going to do it, are you?” He knew it was rude. The awkwardness had sobered him up a little, and he was beginning to see the flaw in his plan. When the waitress shook her head, Jack only felt a little disappointed.

“I’m sorry, sir. I don’t think it would be right for me to do it.” She hesitated again. “I hope you enjoyed your meal.” With that, she turned away, checking on other tables, leaving Jack with a blush that burned more than the alcohol he had consumed.

<Come on Jack, it’s not so bad. Maybe next time, don’t come up with harebrained ideas like that, right?> Bob cracked a smile, and Jack only nodded, carefully writing in a large tip to cover up the trouble he caused.

Eric wanted to like the food at this restaurant. It was reasonably popular and reservation only, so it had to have good food. From the first dish though, he knew he was in for a just alright meal. He sighed for the umpteemth time, Taking a sip of his water, before typing into his phone his thoughts.

He hadn’t been working as a food critic for that long, so it took him a bit longer to write his thoughts out into the code he’d come up with. He was beginning to regret choosing ‘food critic’ as his job, it took him longer to write the reviews than it had when he ran his food blog.

Shitty had told him about this place. Based on the reviews, while it was a fancier establishment, the dining room was clean and the food was amazing. Eric agreed with the first half. Maybe not so much the second half. Even so, he made sure to keep enough leftovers to send Shitty and Larissa’s way when he was done. They may be his agents and best friends, but they couldn’t care less about the quality of the food as long as they got to eat it.

The most interesting thing about the restaurant had nothing to do with it, though. Maybe it was coincidence, but when he had looked up to gather his thoughts, his eyes had matched with the drop-dead gorgeous man a few tables over. Of course Eric recognized him. Anyone living in Providence had to know who the captain of the Providence Falconers was. Eric just never expected to see him up close and in person.

Jack Zimmermann looked away first, and Eric was grateful for the somewhat dim lighting allowing him to hide his blush. It was no secret amongst his friends that he had a crush on Jack Zimmermann. It was easier on the road for Eric to escape him, but at home in Providence it was nearly impossible.

Eric focused on his food critic job instead of the object of his massive crush, but every so often he found himself looking in Jack’s direction. It was hard not to when Jack had raised his voice, and Eric’s mind had wandered to what exactly they were talking about, but he quickly looked back to his phone when they met eyes again.

As the night wound on, Eric noticed that he and Jack had the same waitress. A thought popped into his head, but he quickly shut it down, not wanting to cause a scene or be rejected. But it still sat at the back of his mind as he continued his notes.

The waitress did her job as best as she could, though Eric knew she was nervous to be waiting on a food critic. He tried to make her job as easy as possible, even if that was almost the opposite of what was expected of him. It seemed though, that every time she went from Jack’s table to Eric’s, she was more flustered than just the normal run-of-the-mill food critic stress.

It wasn’t until some commotion occurred at Jack’s table that Eric really became curious as to why. He had noticed Jack’s point and drunken satisfied smile, but they were just too far away and just on the side of too quiet for Eric to hear why he was being pointed at. When the waitress turned away with their check, she had a worried expression on her face. Eric thought about making note of it, but he doubted it was her fault if customers were being difficult in some form.

Eric’s opinion of Jack lowered in that moment, and he resolved himself to not pay as much attention to him. But the curiosity was gnawing at him, making him wonder if he should ask her when she stopped by his table next.

It didn’t take long, as she dropped the check back off at Jack’s table, before quickly turning to Eric’s. “Sorry for any wait sir. Is there anything else you will need?”

“Some to-go boxes for the leftovers. Even if this wasn’t part of the job, I could never finish off this many dishes with how small I am.” Eric cracked a smile to show he was joking. He wasn’t one for hiding who he was at restaurants like this, finding it easier to work with them than against them.

He should have left it there, but as he watched Jack and his parents grab their things to leave, Eric knew this was his only chance to know. “And… tell me why that customer had you all flustered.”

The waitress’s smile dropped a fraction, but Eric kept an even smile himself, willing her to open up a little. She seemed to debate between telling him and not, before ultimately landing on telling him.

“Well, you see, sir… He had a… Unreasonable request. About another guest. But I didn’t want to inconvenience y-- the other guest, so I had to tell him no.”

“Hmm I see. What was the request?” Eric knew he was getting a little too bold in his curiosity, but Jack was slowly slipping away and he felt like he’d never see him in person like this again.

“Well--” The waitress paused, looking between Eric and the retreating Jack. She turned back to Eric, who smiled encouragingly at her, and maybe that was all she needed to spill the beans. “He wanted me to ask you for your number. For him.”

She shut her eyes as if that would upset Eric, but Eric was more focused on remembering how to breath. Why would Jack want his number? Why would Jack Zimmermann want his number? Why would Captain Jack Zimmermann of the Providence Falconers want his number?

Before Eric had even acknowledged it, the words were flying out of his mouth faster than he could stop them. “He can have it.”

“What?” She seemed to drop all sense of formality, but Eric didn’t hold it against her. Eric scrambled in his bag for a moment before pulling out his business card. Lardo had designed them with a nice pie lattice design, and he always carried a stack around with him. The number on the card was only his business number, so he flipped to the back, taking a considerably longer time trying to locate a pen.

The waitress handed him one of hers, still a bit dumbstruck. Eric quickly scrawled out his number, along with a hurriedly written ‘call me!’, which he quickly crossed out. He handed the card to the waitress, who took it numbly.

“Would you please hand it to him before he’s out the door? I’d hate to let him get away empty handed.” Eric flashed him his Georgia Peach smile, and she nodded wordlessly, turning towards the retreating Zimmermanns. Jack had his head down, and Eric wondered if he’d done the right thing, even if it was the most impulsive thing he’d ever done.

Jack was almost out the door when the waitress from their table came up to them. She was holding what looked to be a card tightly in her hands, and Jack wondered for a moment if he had left his card behind.

“Um… sir. Here.” She thrust the card at him, a little bit wide-eyed. Jack took it from her, confused, staring down at a business card. It was designed well, and Jack could clearly see the name “Eric R. Bittle, Food Critic” written in large letters above a phone number, a website, and an email.

“Apparently he had noticed the commotion from earlier, and asked me about it. Frankly, sir, it had stressed me out when you asked, and I couldn’t help but tell him. Maybe he’d assuage my discomfort by telling me I did the right thing saying no. But then he said you could have it.” She looked more stressed out than she had when he had asked, and Jack wondered if she was ok. “He wrote his personal number on the back… I think.”

Jack turned the card over, seeing the number scrawled, and the crossed out ‘call me’. Jack couldn’t believe his luck, wondering just what he had gotten himself into.

“Thank you. I hope the tip I left you is more than enough to cover the trouble I caused.” Jack didn’t take his eyes off the card, but his tone of voice was genuine, and the waitress left with a frazzled-sounding noise.

<That’s… great son. You managed to actually succeed with that harebrained plan.> Bob’s eyes had nearly popped out of their sockets, but he really was happy for his son. Alicia rolled her eyes at them both, and pulled Jack along to the car.

<Can’t take you both anywhere. I swear, if you get a date out of this Jack, I’ll never go out to dinner with you again.> Alicia’s tone was joking, but she certainly was more tired after this dinner than she had been after the game. She might even keep her word if her son stopped being a dingus and got himself a date.

Jack had stopped paying attention to his parents long ago, his phone already in his hand, inputting the number to call at a later, and far more sober, date. Plans only ever worked this well in his head, afterall.

#bittyjack #bv2020 #bitty's valentines #omgcp fandom #omg check please!

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sashatrr · 4 years

Text

Breathe with me. Chapter 18

I know it`s been a long time and i apologize for a long pause between chapters. Special thanks to my reader who motivated me to finish this chapter. Appereantly i really needed it.

I was struggling with this chapter because i realize that my English is far from perfect and no matter how hard i try, i just hate how bad it comes out.

I tried my best to edit it but well... that`s what came out.

Let me know, please, if you would like to be removed from a taglist ( or added)

I will try to post chapters more regulary now.

Chapter 17 here

-Every girl dreams to grow up and turn from an ugly duckling into a beautiful swan. To lose a glass slipper and not fall asleep on a pea, and most importantly, to meet that prince on a white horse, on Mercedes or a yacht. To fall in love at first sight, to live her happily ever after. And then… he buys her a penthouse and makes her his mistress.

Lina already regretted her decision to invite Nicci today. Her sarcasm wasn't helping, especially today, the day when Liam left and Lina had no idea when and if he will return. But she didn't want to turn into whiney creature whose life is rotating around a man. Her life was here, in New York, thousands of kilometers away from him and she had to get it back on tracks.

-So what are you going to do now? - Nicci asked. - Enjoy doing nothing?

Lina shook her head and pointed at laptop she was using before Nicci came.

-I was just checking vacancies. I will start sending resumes tomorrow morning.

-Why tomorrow? Do it now and tomorrow you can join me for a day in spa. You need to relax before to break into business world. Who knows what might happen. Oh my gosh! What if your boss will be a hottie and what's more important, single? You know, opposite of what you have now?Like a guy who is actually worth spending your time on. You know, like Thom whom you dumped for that married sleaze?

-Nicci!-Lina frowned visibly annoyed with her speech. - Liam is not a sleaze! He is just… - Lina was struggling to find words and to defend her relationships. Anything she would say will sound as a poor excuse for an ugly reality.

-Yeah, I know. He is a great guy who just happened to get married one day and to fuck you a very next day. I bet he has a girl like you in every country, damn, maybe even in every city he ever visited. To bad he can't have harem, it would solve all his problems. - Nicci giggled.

-Enough! - Lina raised her voice but was interrupted by a buzz of her phone. She glanced on the screen and answered with with a cheery voice.

-Aunty! I am so glad you called. Sorry I was absent for awhile but I missed you.

After exchanging pleasantries she flew out of her seat with somewhat panicked expression.

-Uhm, no I am not at home but I will be there in thirty minutes. Off course I'll be happy to see you. OK, see you then.

Nicci shook her head disapprovingly.

-Now what? Are you going to lie to a woman who raised you?

Lina blushed, she knew that she was in the wrong here but how could she explain everything that happened to her aunt? Seeing a married man, living in the place he got for them, quitting her job? No, that wasn't an option.

-Not like I have a choice - she snapped at Nicci. - Could you, please, be more supportive?

-I am being supportive, just not in the way you want me to be. - Nicci replied without any sarcasm which was really a rare exception. - I am trying to support you by not letting you to drown in the ocean of lies that you are forming now. Remember that truth always comes out. The more you will lie now the worse consequences you will face when it happens, Lina. Your aunt will know everything sooner or later so you might as well tell her everything now and to avoid breaking her heart in the future.

After Nicci left, Lina was thinking about what she said and before to leave for meeting her aunt, she decided that Nicci was right. She didn't want to turn her life into web of lies, it was already complicated as it is. She wasn't going to hide what's happening to her from her closest ones.

***

A week flew by very fast for Liam, filled with work and meetings. He was calling Lina almost every day and every time after finishing a call he felt that she is being distant. He didn't want to think that she is reconsidering their relationships so he brushed that feeling off every time. He had enough on his plate and his insecurities won't do him any good he thought.

Must be my tiredness. Off course it is. Talking on the phone is different than actually talking to each other, I am imagining things.

He didn't see Madeleine much, only over a dinner.

It was a night before they had to leave for Switzerland. After a dinner him, Regina and Madeleine were slowly sipping their drinks in blue salon. Regina broke the silence.

-We have two matters to discuss, Liam.

Liam nodded waiting for her to continue.

-First is, now once you are back from your honeymoon, it's time for me to move into the small palace as tradition requires. Secondly, when are you planning Madeleine's coronation?

Regina's voice was dry with a shadow of sadness in it. After many happy years in the palace it was her time to leave the memories behind and pass her role to the new Queen. Even tho Madeleine was her niece, it still was difficult for Regina. This would mean that the happiest chapter of her life was really over and it's a time to turn over a page. Regina wouldn't miss being a Queen, she had her time to enjoy the power and greatness, but she will miss living in the place where every corner was reminding her of Constantine.

-Take your time, Regina. You don't have to rush it. I will make sure that the other palace is ready.

Liam was avoiding any talks about Madeleine's coronation but it had to be done sooner or later.

Madeleine kept quiet while Liam and Regina were discussing Regina's plans about moving. She had only one shot at this and after how honeymoon ended, she didn't intend to annoy Liam. She would rather to pretend that she took his warning, rather violent and rude one.

I need to find his weakness, I have to find a leverage to make him give me what's rightfully mine now. I won't press a matter of coronation right now, he will have to arrange it sooner or later but he must do it because of Regina and all country are expecting it, not because I pressed it. I should pick my fights from now on, better not to annoy him until I have a weapon.

Noticing how quite Madeleine was during a dinner and that she didn't participate in conversation at all, Regina tried to involve Madeleine into conversation about coronation and Liam left two women to it, pleased with Madeleine's behavior so far. It looked to him like she heard his warning and won't give him any troubles.

I could live with this Madeleine. It's like she is not even here and she better keeps it this way. Now if she gives me a heir or two soon enough, we won't have to see each other at all.

Liam didn't even notice how fast his thoughts changed. If once he was dreaming about having his own family and kids, now he didn't call a child anything else but a heir even in his mind.

Next morning, upon landing in EuroAirport Basel Mulhouse Freiburg, Liam and Madeleine quickly arrived to the clinic that was closed for weekend but was bursting with activity inside as a few staff members, who knew about royal couple appointment, greeted them and followed a royal couple into doctors room.

Due to patients importance, beside the leading specialist of the clinic, a chief was also present in the room. After exchanging greetings and a few smiles, Dr. Zimmermann got to the point of appointment and looked at Madeleine expectantly . He thought that it will be a regular health check before conceiving a baby but he couldn't imagine why they had to come all the way to Switzerland for it. Surely the royal family had their own doctors for it.

Not waiting for Madeleine to say anything, Liam took a matter into his own hands to a great surprise of both, doctor and a chief.

-Dr. Zimmermann, first of all I want to thank you for agreeing to meet with us on such a short notice and during a weekend. - Liam gave doctor a grateful nod that doctor accepted with a smile. - I am counting on you and your wonderful staff to keep this appointment and future ones in secret. - Liam addressed those words to chief.

-I am assuring you that there won't be any leaks on our side-chief replied. - Beside me and doctor Zimmermann there are only two nurses here right now and both can be trusted. I promise you that everything will stay within those walls.

-Due to the reasons I would like to remain unsaid, me and her Majesty picked your clinic for In vitro fertilization.-Liam finished.

Doctor did not expect that but quickly brushed off a thousand question on his mind as why would newlyweds require such procedure.

-Off course, Sir. We can make all necessary tests this weekend and if everything is fine with both of you, we can perform a procedure next Saturday.

Monday afternoon Lina just went through her first job interview in a long time. It went well, or at least Lina hoped so. The entire experience felt different from her previous failures. In the past, the more rejections she went through, the more desperate she became. Maybe that's why she gave up and stuck with waitress gig. This time she had a safety net and she felt much more confident. She wasn't the only candidate for this position and she really wanted to get this job but during the interview she was calm and collected.

Liam hasn't called her for a few days and it worried her a bit but she didn't want to call or text him. What if his wife would be near him and see her name on display? Or anyone else. No, she didn't want to land him in troubles. It was just top of the iceberg, one of many minuses of being with married man, so she thought. She needed this job for her future and even more importantly, it would maybe revive her self respect that suffered significant damage.

From the corner of her eye Lina noticed Mara, who always was not far, and winced. She still couldn't understand why did she have to put up with this woman's presence in her life.

This needs to change, I can't have her following me if I am going to keep living my life. She can't follow me to my workplace, if i'll ever get this job. No, Lina, think positively. Not if but when.

She waved Mara to come closer and smiled friendly. Whatever she liked Mara's presence in her life or not, it wasn't Maria's fault so Lina decided to remain friendly and polite with her.

-Mara, you can go home or… well, do whatever you like. I… - Lina stopped herself before she would start explaining herself to Mara.

No, not going to happen. Nope. Na-ah. I am not reporting to her where I am going or who am I spending my time with. If Liam needs to spy on someone, he has a wife for it. He can spy on her for all I care, Mara's talents are wasted on me.

-But madam… - Mara began but Lina didn't let her finish.

-No buts, Mara. I've never been to Cordonia and I have no idea how does it work there but here, in America, if the person tells you that she doesn't want to be followed, you leave them alone. Stalking is illegal in this country.- Lina was feeling like rebellious child for some reason but the longer she spent without Liam, the more she realized that everything was over the top and he will have to compromise. It was an absurd situation. She might have agreed to it after spending such a long period of time with Liam, influenced by atmosphere of wealth and luxury that followed him everywhere but now it seemed ridiculous.

Mara didn't really have a good reply to it and after a short goodbye disappeared from the view.

Pleased with herself, Lina made a phone call that she was postponing for a long time. She dialed a number and almost right away he picked up the phone.

-Hello, Thomas…

***

Monday night Liam was finishing getting dressed for a Masquerade, first event of social season. He still had a time before he would have to head to the ballroom. Guests were still arriving and Royal couple had to enter once all the guests would gather.

He picked up his phone intending to call Lina. He couldn't stop thinking about her for entire weekend that him and Madeleine spent in Switzerland, but he didn't call her then. What if she asked where he was or what was he doing? He wouldn't know how to explain her WHAT exactly he was doing in Switzerland. Liam knew that he shouldn't think like that, he shouldn't think that he owes her anything, any explanation or report about his real life, but it felt wrong. He had no idea how she will accept the news about Madeleine's future pregnancy but Lina had to know that their relationships are separated from his "real" life, as he called his life outside of their relationships.

Before he could dial the number, he heard knock on the door and put the phone away. He walked to the living room and called to come in to whoever was behind the damn door.

Drake and Maxwell entered his living room.

He greeted both his friends and three of them sat comfortably in the chairs.

-Just came for drinks before this damned ball. - Drake rubbed his neck clearly feeling irritated with something. - You are always hiding the best whiskey here.

Liam filled three glasses and handed drinks to Maxwell and Drake.

-I didn't think that you would be here tonight. - Liam addressed Drake. - Is your heart warming up to the court?

Drake rolled his eyes and took a sip of his whiskey, savoring the taste before to reply.

-Not in this life, Liam, maybe in next one tho. I am here because I hoped that we could talk. I haven't seen you at all after honeymoon . So confess, on the scale from one to ten, how awful was it?

- I would say a… - Liam paused dramatically, looking from Drake to Maxwell and back. - ten. - he finished and took a sip of his own drink.

-I said from one to ten, Liam, not to thousand.- Drake smirked ironically.

- I heard you but I stand by my words. - Liam smirked back.

-Impossible, unless you spent a month in alcoholic coma. I can't imagine any other way to tolerate your dear wife for so long… one to one… isolated on the island. - Drake's body jerked exaggeratedly, demonstrating the deepness of his "love" to Madeleine.

- You are right, Drake - Liam smiled happily. - I didn't feel like sacrisfating my health for it. Surely so much alcohol would make my life significantly shorter than I expect to live. That's why I wasn't on that island.

Silence hang in the room as two pairs of shocked eyes stared at Liam.

-Well, are you going to tell us? - Maxwell broke the silence. - You are the master of dramatic pauses, Liam, i swear. You must teach me your ways sometime. I never look so mysterious like you do right now.

-Well there might be New York, Europe and Maldives being involved. - Liam replied looking at Drake and Maxwell expectantly. He was wondering if they will figure it out now.

-A New York you say… - Drake said with suspicion in his voice. He put his glass away and laughed loudly. - Don't tell me that you ditched blonde iceberg and spent your honeymoon with Lina because I won't believe you. - Drake said once he was able to stop laughing. - That's to good to be true.

When Liam didn't answer and only smiled happily again, Drake busted into laughter.

-Wait, what? Were you with Lina all this time? - Maxwell asked and his mouth opened in shock. - Like with my Linny?

-I believe that she is my Linny now. - Liam smiled softly.

Their conversation was interrupted with knock on the door. After Liam called for them to come in, the door opened and Madeleine entered a room. All three men stood up from the chairs. Despite how each of them felt about Madeleine, nobody canceled an etiquette and protocol and external decency were honored.

-Good evening, Madeleine.-Liam greeted her while both Drake and Maxwell bowed slightly to the Queen .

-Your Majesty - both man said in unison.

-Good evening - Madeleine acknowledged Drake and Maxwell's presence with a slight nod. - It's time, Liam. All guests have arrived.

-With your permission- Maxwell headed to the door but Drake couldn't help himself and smirked at Madeleine on his way to the door.

A few hours later, when the ball was in a full swing, Liam finally managed to extract himself from conversation and, before he would have to dance with Madeleine again, pretending to enjoy her company as expected of him, headed to the terrace.

-Make sure that nobody follows me. - he said to one of his guards who shut the terrace door behind Liam and stood outside making sure that Liam will have his privacy.

Finally Liam dialed Lina's number but was directed straight to voicemail. He tried again with the same result. He frowned and dialed Mara's number this time.

-Mara. - he said shortly after she answered the call. - I can't reach Lina for some reason. Could you go to her and ask to turn her phone on please?

-No, Sire. - he heard reply. - She is… we aren't in the same building, Sire.

-And where is she? Why aren't you with her? - Liam in disapproval pressed his lips together.

-I can't tell that, Sire.

-Pardon me? - Liam wasn't sure if he heard her right.

-You gave me an order not to spy on her, Sire, and not to report to you about Miss whereabouts. - Mara replied embarrassed .

-Right. - Liam said angrily.- Thanks and have a good night… day I mean.

Liam slammed his hand on marble railing and returned to the ballroom.

Suddenly the evening lost its charm for Liam. Yes, yes, yes, he never was a possessive type, he knew that he shouldn't get jealous or pissed whenever Lina left her New York penthouse, that she had her life and all that but he didn't give a damn for one second about what he wasn't supposed to feel right now. He was irrational but he didn't care.

Way to go. I am becoming a caveman. I can't lock her in that place, can I? Too damn bad we aren't living in medieval times. I bet that Louis Fourteen didn't have to deal with such nonsense. Wait, he didn't live in Medieval.

But before Liam could master a plan of how to revive traditions of blessed Louis Era and ensure that women will have to obey men once again, at least one particular woman, he was approached by Drake, Maxwell and Rashad with yet another stunning woman hanging on his arm who was introduced to Liam as Yvette.

A company of friends spent a few minutes in a pleasant conversation until Maxwell invited Yvette for a round of waltz.

-Did you find a factory that produces beauties, Rashad? - Drake asked suspiciously.

-Almost. - Rashad snorted violating an etiquette. - I am receiving a monthly copy of a Pink Book.- he exclaimed like it was explaining everything but his words were met with confused looks of both, Drake and Liam. - Don't tell me that you two don't receive it.

-Where do I subscribe? - Drake asked. - Don't tell me that you are fishing for women in the library.

Even Liam looked intrigued.

-God, no. Some model agencies, not the famous ones off course, have Pink Books. A book of their models who would gladly spend a night with a man that has access to this service. Off course not everyone receive a copy. It's a closely guarded secret that everyone know about. - Rashad explained with a smirk.

-Does that mean that she… - Drake nodded in direction of the dance floor but was interrupted.

-No, it doesn't. I don't pay women for that, Drake. It's just a business deal that benefits both sides. I have a fabulous escort that won't demand me to take any obligations and they receive good money and a chance to raise their fame attending exclusive events like this one. But yes, would you want it, I believe that certain arrangement can be reached. - Rashad finished with a smirk.

Liam didn't show much interest in the topic. For him it was just a curious information. He was back to his thoughts again and was nodding automatically to Rashad without paying attention at what's being said anymore.

-I could include you to the list of patrons if you wish, Liam.

A nod.

-Off course I will be delivering a book directly to you so don't worry about anonymity.

Rashad's words were met with another nod and to everyone's pleasure men parted ways.

Hana was standing behind the column listening closely to their conversation.

So he wants that book. I knew it. Madeleine doesn't satisfy him, he is already looking elsewhere. Hmmm, I can use it. I don't know how yet but I am feeling that this is my chance. To foggy but I'll figure something out.

Next chapter

@indiacater @drakesensworld @annekebbphotography @hopefulmoonobject @jared2612 @dcbbw

#the royal romance #trr #trr liam #choices trr #choices fanfiction #choices liam x mc #liam x mc #trr liam x mc #Breathe With Me

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diaryofanavengersfan · 5 years

Text

Electric (Final Part of Fantasy)

Fantasy Part 1

Comethru Part 2

Characters: Steve Rogers x OC

Warnings: smut and fluff

Word Count: 6,000 words.

A/N: Here’s the final part you guys! Thank you so much for your love with this series. I’ll be posting some work soon.

I’m also taking request! Please send me an ask or a private message!

Covered in your water and I'm feeling like a summer breeze

Submitted under power and you brought me to my knees

Use me, you're electric, babe

Move me, take me all the way

Whisper in my ear, I'm the only one you're loving on

Take advantage of the moment, you're the only one that I want

(Alina Baraz and Khalid)

Things spiraled down from going great to worse between Steve and Y/N, as they hadn’t spoken to each other for almost a week since her bold and sudden confession. Well more like Y/N was avoiding Steve at all costs: she always left the dinner table a little early subtly as soon as Steve arrived saying she had some work to do or was hitting the hay early as she had a busy day tomorrow. She always avoided eye contact whenever they bumped into each other, pretending she was on the phone or was always walking with someone talking to them, pretending she didn’t see him. Steve even stayed longer at the gym hoping he could see her or try and talk to her, but she always left through the other entrance or went for a swim during the time when Steve wasn’t around. A few days later she decided to avoid the pool completely and just took her boat and swim in the ocean, isolating and drowning herself with other thoughts other than wallowing herself on her love for Steve Rogers. Y/N hated to admit but she missed talking to Steve, even when things got awkward between them when they reunited they still spoke to each other, but she felt so empty and also guilty for just completely cutting him off. A part of her eating inside herself and creating a hole telling her that it was a wrong move. However, every time that idea popped up, she shook her head attempting to push the guilt away, convincing herself that she was doing the right thing.

The next day, she was preparing her boat, heading to the sea to swim and as she was putting the ropes back into the boat and starting the engine, she heard someone calling out to her. “Hey!” she turned back and saw Bucky standing next to her boat on the pier, his hands covering his eyes from the sun glare. She smiled before hopping off her boat and faced him to give a hug “Bucky, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?” she asked, with a slight concern in her tone. He chuckled and nodded “Yeah everything is fine, it’s just I’ve noticed that you’ve been spending a lot of time on your own,” he said with a small smile. Y/N’s smile slowly faded and avoided his gaze while sighing heavily then looked at Bucky biting her lip, a few tears pooling in her eyes, threatening to fall down. She had no idea what to say but more importantly how to say it, that she confessed her love to Steve, but he doesn’t love her back. Bucky gave her a soft smile, and patted her shoulder, tilting his head towards the boat “Wanna talk about it while you take me for a spin?” he asked trying to lighten up the mood which did work as Y/N gave a small smile and nodded before they hopped on to the boat.

“But don’t you still think that taking part in this race is running away and that’s not an ideal option?” Bucky asked turning his gaze from the sea back to Y/N who had her focus out on to the water, watching the sun slowly set. Y/N didn’t decide to dive into the water that day, after she told Bucky everything about what has happened the past few weeks, including her so-called “powers”. She told Bucky she would’ve showed him, but she wasn’t in the mood and was grateful when he didn’t push her further and believed her. She sighed and looked back at him, placing her hands behind her back leaning against them. “Sometimes the only option isn’t the best option, but you gotta do what you gotta do.” she sighed, “No” he leaned towards her “The best and OTHER option is talking to him and hearing him out. Just because he didn’t say anything doesn’t mean he rejected you” Bucky tried to reason. “Buck you should’ve seen the look in his eyes, it was a look of sympathy and regret” she huffed. “Regret that he didn’t love you back or that he didn’t say anything sooner?” Bucky finally questioned what Y/N has been thinking about the past few days. “I don’t know” she muttered looking at the pink and orange sky, she shook her head and steered the conversation into another direction “anyway, soooo I got to know that I was your date to make Shuri jealous?!” she exclaimed while fully turning to Bucky. He turned to her with an exasperated look on his face but then chuckled knowing there was no way to hide it “yeah, I mean I was nervous to ask her plus, you’re pretty cool” he explained lamely. Y/N rolled her eyes at his comment “whatever you could’ve totally asked her and she would’ve said yes” she added, both knew that Wanda got the sense of it and decided to spill the tea to the girls. She looked at him with a cheeky smile on her face “You know I was planning to get her help in preparing me for the race, so that should help you get the guts of asking her out!” she exclaimed, Bucky just shook his head but was actually open to Y/N’s suggestion. She started getting up and worked on pulling the sail back up, “We should get going, it’s gonna get dark soon,” she stated, Bucky nodded and helped “hey” he said making Y/N face him, “I’m proud of you, I’m really happy you’re finally gonna sail” Y/N grinned at his support and gave him a big hug.

Steve was just walking back to the compound and deliberately took the path which was parallel to the pier where all the boats and yachts were lined up. He was a bit disappointed when he didn’t find Y/N’s sailboat but just at that moment her boat just appeared in the pier and was lining up to her spot. A few minutes later he spotted her but furrowed his eyebrows, annoyed at why Bucky was at the boat with her. At the same time, Shuri was walking to both of them, and they all seemed to be engaged in an intense conversation, he couldn’t understand what they were talking about, but it appeared to be something exciting. Shuri screamed in joy and enveloped Y/N into a hug, and Y/N hugged her back, she then linked both her and Bucky’s arms as they talked animatedly while walking back to the compound. Steve’s eyes followed their path extremely curious about what they were talking about, more importantly why there so excited.

He finally got his answer, when everyone was gathered at the kitchen and lounge area for breakfast the next morning. The captain greeted some of the gang as he got himself settled next to Sam with a cup of coffee, but he completely ignored the conversation around him as he absentmindedly focused on Y/N who was talking to Wanda and Shuri. He cocked his eyebrow when he saw Fury walk and stand next to Y/N then gently placed his hand on her shoulder. “So, Y/N has something exciting and big to share with us,” his voice boomed making everyone quiet down and focus their attention to them, Steve biting his lip eagerly waiting for her news as his heartbeat was thumping against his chest. She took a deep breath and said with a smile on her face “So a few friends from my sail team and I have finally decided to take part in the Velux Ocean 5 Race” she shared, making the whole room gasp and exclaim at Y/N’s announcement. “That’s amazing Y/N you finally get to sail and that too around the world!” Carol exclaimed. “How long is the race?” Pepper asked “Well the winning time was around 121 days, so 4 months if we're planning to win if not easily 5 months” she explained. “And when will you be leaving?” Sam asked. She waited a bit while quickly scanning her eyes around the room and spotted Steve who was looking down, biting his lip and clinking his finger against his mug. She finally answered “10 days” Steve whipped his head towards her direction and he felt his heart getting heavier when Y/N said she’ll be leaving so soon. “Well, how about we make from 4 months to 4 days if we just added some power jets that’ll have you zooming across the world” Tony casually butted in but was jabbed in the torso by Pepper’s elbow “That loses the whole point of the race, Tony” “Well you gotta have the sleekest and coolest looking sail boat if you wanna win the race” Clint added making the rest of the avengers agree and they all huddled around her congratulating her and offering her their help. But Steve stayed back on the couch, and looked down at his coffee cup, letting out a heavy sigh still trying to process the information Y/N shared, she’ll be gone so soon and for a long time. He was starting to feel this emptiness and guilt spreading over him, thinking that it’s because of him that she’s leaving, that he didn’t reciprocate his feelings enough and also on time.

The next few days everyone in the compound was busy preparing the boat and Y/N for the race, there were a lot of test runs in the labs, gym and the training area and also a few tries out in the sea. The boat also got a nice makeover, a new paint job, the engine that Y/N finally got replaced along with a few upgrades and new sails. A few days later, it was time to switch the old sails with new ones, and Y/N was at the top of the mast making sure the sail was set. Steve was just casually walking with Sam after they completed training and spotted some members of the Avengers surrounding her boat to help replace the new sail. Y/N exclaimed that it was all set, she got a little excited and slipped at edge almost falling from her boat. Before Y/N could hold onto anything she was falling backwards, within seconds she felt she was gonna get a broken back, but she landed in someone’s arms. Her heart was hammering against her chest and she felt she was shaking until she noticed she was leaning against a chest. She slowly opened her eyes and looked up meeting Steve’s blue eyes, staring at her with worry and fear. “Are you okay? You hurt?” Steve softly asked her, but she could hear the worry in his tone. She was breathing heavily not leaving her gaze from his, trying to find the muster to speak, but in shock she couldn’t make a sound. Before she could finally say anything, Bucky, Sam, Shuri, Clint and Pepper were running towards them. “Y/N are you hurt?” Pepper asked, “Oh thank god Steve caught you, you could’ve break your back” Shuri exclaimed, as they helped her down from Steve’s arms and took her back inside. As she was walking back with Pepper and Shuri, she turned back to look at him, giving him a small smile before facing back and heading inside.

Later that night after punching a few bags, Steve was carrying the remaining sacks back to the pile and was heading to the exit of the gym. Surprisingly Y/N was walking towards the same direction, she was squeezing the water from the ends of her hair, Steve assumed she must’ve used the pool because her boat was under work. She eyed him from the corner and slowly stopped in front of him, her fingers still clung to the ends of her hair. They both kept gazing at each other and the floor in between, an awkward silence resonating between them, both afraid to say anything. Steve cleared his throat and mumbled “hi”, she glanced up and murmured “hi” back with a tight small smile on her face. Steve shoved his hands into his sweat pockets and was rocking back and forth on his heels, Y/N bit her lip, even when she was dodging him physically it was impossible to dodge the feelings and desire she had for him, how his biceps bulged against his tight fitted t-shirt. “How are you feeling now?” Steve’s question brought her back from her trance, “oh I’m fine, thanks to you” she replied softly, making Steve blush. Seeing his reaction made Y/N regret avoiding him, she didn’t care at the point if Steve didn’t love her back, but she did know that he cared about her. Her heart dropped when she heard Steve ask, “can we talk, I’ve been trying to talk to you for a while now”. She contemplated but thought back at what Bucky said, it’s not fair to leave him in the dark and not hear his side. “Sure” she tilted her head to the bench next to them, they slowly made their way there and sat down keeping a decent distance between them. She bit her lip slightly out of nervousness as she turned slightly towards Steve waiting for him to talk. Steve glanced at his feet and let out a deep sigh “I’ve noticed that you’ve been avoiding me for the past few days and I know it’s because I didn’t say anything when you confessed.” Her lower lip quivered out of guilt when she looked up, trying to contain her emotions and she waited for Steve to continue. “I honestly don’t know how I feel about us, especially after that night but what I do know Y/N is that you’re special to me and I care about you, I care about you a lot doll”. He slowly took her hand and stroked his thumb gently on her hand, “And I’d like us to be the way things were, especially since you’re going to be gone for a very long time” he smiled sadly when he said that, what Y/N didn’t know was that Steve’s heart cracked a little when he said those words. Seconds later Y/N jumped into Steve’s lap taking him aback a little, but she buried her head into his neck “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” she kept mumbling while sobbing softly. Steve hushed her while gently stroking her hair, “hey doll, there’s nothing to apologize about” he kept assuring her. After a few minutes she calmed and slowly looked up, gazing back at Steve who had a soft and loving expression on his face, he gently wiped the remaining tears from her face and smiled at her, making her smile back.

The next day the rest of Y/N’s sail crew arrived at the compound and the following days were the busiest training the crew, fixing the boat and even having a few practices out in the sea. In those days, Steve never left Y/N’s side as he observed how Y/N lead the team and prepared for the race. He had to be honest, seeing Y/N have a very authoritative and leader like role for the crew made her appear very attractive, it was also distracting for him when he saw her athletic legs elongate when she was trying to balance the sail during their final practice before they left in two days. He was on the deck, with Sam and Bucky when he glanced at Y/N and took a double take to see she slipped off her jacket revealing her sports bra and her bikini shorts weren’t helping either. Once she tightened the rope, she dusted her hands and casually walked over to Steve and Bucky and plonked between them, extending her legs out and leaning against her arms. She leaned her head back taking in the sun rays then tilted her head towards Steve, she opened her eyes and cocked her eyebrows when she caught him staring at her. She tilted her head up asking him what’s up, but he quickly shook his head implying that it was nothing. She shrugged before she laid back down on her towel. As soon as she laid down, Bucky gave a playful look to Steve and he flipped off as his reply. Later that night for dinner, everyone was gathered in the kitchen and dining area, half of the gang were busy grilling the food while enjoying each other’s good company. Y/N happily entered the kitchen after she took a shower, her wet strands bundled in her left shoulder while wearing an off-shoulder sweater and basketball shorts. She greeted everyone passing by and sat on the empty stool next to Steve giving him a small smile and he smiled back to her. While Steve was expecting for a fun casual dinner but actually turned out to be torturous for him. How tempted her long neck looked and his gaze trailed to her bare shoulder, Y/N has worn these clothes before, but the captain couldn’t understand why he was being so infatuated by her. He lightly choked on his food when he felt Y/N’s leg trailing over him, before anyone could notice he quickly took a gulp of water while sneakily glancing at Y/N who was busy talking to the girls. So, she was unconsciously doing it, because she didn’t even glance at Steve once. What became the cherry on the top was the bulge that was forming in his pants, he tightly closed his eyes, breathing through his nose to calm himself. “Steve?” He opened his eyes meeting Y/N’s who was looking at him with slight concern, she gently placed her hands on his shoulder and he lightly groaned as he felt his pants getting tighter. “You okay?” Y/N asked. Thankfully the group was busy with dinner and each other so not many people noticed Steve’s strange behavior, but all activity stopped when he abruptly stood up and walked out. The whole room stopped and quietly looked at each other, confused at his sudden action, Y/N dropped her fork on the plate and muttered “I’ll go and see what’s up” and left before anyone else could utter anything.

Steve stormed into his room and was breathing heavily, running a hand through his face, fisting his hair in frustration “fuck” he muttered while pacing back and forth in his room. He was confused, frustrated, mad on how he couldn’t control his feelings anymore, he had to, but he knew he had to do it or else all hell will break loose. Moments later, Y/N entered his room, “Heyyy, what’s up?” She slowly asked as she padded towards his bed, his back straightened and facing her as he gazed at the view from the window, the moonlight being the only source of light in the room. “Close the door” he muttered, Y/N gazed up at his request and furrowed her brows, but she went back to the door and gently closed it. As soon as the lock clicked she was pushed to the back of the door and she met Steve’s blue orbs staring into her with intense and such desire. “Steve, what are you” but she was cut off with his lips on hers. Unlike the previous kisses they shared Steve has never been this rough with her, and she was enjoying the rough bites on her lip and how he wrestled his tongue against hers, both fighting for dominance. Y/N moaned, as soon as his lips left hers, both breathing heavily while he placed his forehead on hers, staring into each other’s eyes. He lightly cupped her cheek stroking his thumb on it, he took a deep breath, “I don’t know why but I have this strong desire for you, I’ve never ever felt this way, even with Peggy, but with you. With you I feel different” Y/N widened her eyes and placed her hand on his palm “Steve if it’s about what I said last time” “No, it’s not that Y/N!” He exclaimed, pushing himself off the door and sitting on the edge of his bed, his head hanging low as he ran a hand through the back of his neck. “It’s not that,” he sighed, “I think I had these feelings before, but I felt guilty and shut my feelings off especially when I came back”. Y/N froze at what he just said, did Steve just confessed to her? Did he actually say that he was attracted to her? As much as this was becoming her reality, she had to stop her heart hammering against her chest because she knew how Steve did things because he felt it was right and not always what his heart wanted. She gulped “And Sharon?” She asked while patiently waiting for his response. His eyes gazed at her and breathed out feeling embarrassed “I was with Sharon, well I did like her but also I felt I could connect her with Peggy, I felt I could connect with Peggy through her” he explained clearly, before biting his lips sheepishly.

She tilted her head and looked at him, finally understanding why he did for what he did, she felt guilty for not really cutting him some slack and maybe she should have talked to him about this before. She pushed herself off the door and walked towards him, “So when you were hanging out with Sharon, you wanted to create that bond with her again?” She asked as she sat on the edge with him. He stayed silent but slowly nodded not meeting her gaze, extremely embarrassed about his reasoning. She smiled and took his hand, lacing his fingers with hers “Hey I said this to you before, she’ll always have a special place in your heart. Just because you move on doesn’t mean you love her less.” She explained. “Also, I by no means want to replace Peggy because I know how much she means to you, but that also doesn’t mean you have to love one person.” He tilted his head towards her, an expression of adore and relief showing in his face, she slowly smiled “People come and go in our lives Steve, and we can love and cherish more than one person in our life, that also shows you have a big heart” they laughed at her comment. He leaned in, his nose rubbing hers and gave a gentle peck on her lips, and bit his lip looking at her, “what about us?” He asked. She sighed and pecked his lips again “we can figure things out as what we have between us progresses, if you want, we can talk more and explore when I come back”. His heart dropped when Y/N said that, maybe he couldn’t wait that long, maybe he wanted them to have a relationship. He nodded, and they gazed at each other both with loving and soft smiles on each other’s faces, until Chris pulled her on his lap. She squealed but it was muffled by his kiss and she moaned happily feeling his soft lips on hers. His tongue tracing her lower lip asking for entrance as she happily obliged, she ran her fingers through his hair as they gave slow kisses to each other. He left her lips and trailed his lips down her cheek, to her jawline then down her neck, lightly biting the bottom of her neck making Y/N sigh in bliss and tilting her head back. He continued covering her neck with kisses until he found a spot and sucked on it, oh Y/N knew he was giving her a hickey, but she couldn’t care less, she grasped to his hair tighter as she felt her nerves tingle with excitement. He pecked her newly formed bruise and bit her earlobe before whispering “Stay the night with me?” He asked, she bit her lip in shyness, but she happily nodded. She exclaimed in surprise when he pushed her to the bed and he tackled her with tickles and kisses, their laughter filling his room.

Three days later it was Y/N’s and her team’s last night at the compound before they left at the brink of dawn tomorrow to start the race. Tony and Pepper organized a little farewell and good luck dinner, but it was only for the people in the compound to make it more intimate and special. Steve was talking to Sam and Bucky but followed their gaze as he turned backward, his heart warmed and also had an idiotic grin on his face when he saw Y/N walk down the steps and towards them. She was wearing a white lace V-neck top which showed her bare back and navy-blue palazzo pants. She had a simple sapphire pendant and a few bangles on her right wrist as accessories and painted her face with a blue cat liner and gloss. She was nervously curling one of her strands behind her waves as she walked to Steve giving him a gentle peck on the lips before hugging Sam and Bucky following their conversation. The past two days, everyone noticed the intimacy and change in relationship between Steve and Y/N, she was a little hesitant in showing some pdas, but Steve had no problems in pulling her on his lap during movie nights or game nights. Or absentmindedly taking her hand and stroking his thumb along her knuckles, they also slept together where Y/N always stole one of sweatshirts made it her nighty and cuddled with him. Throughout the night, Steve never left Y/N’s side and had his hand gently placed around her hip, when no one was looking he sneakily bit her ear or kissed her neck and whispered sweet nothings about how beautiful she looked. When the party ended, and she gave everyone a hug telling them she’ll see them tomorrow morning, Steve was reluctant to let her go. “I promise I’ll come in 15 minutes, I just need to debrief the team and drop a few things in the boat” Steve pouted but he muttered an okay before Y/N pulled his head towards her giving him a soft and lingering kiss. He tried to make the kiss last longer by biting her lower lip, but she groaned and laughed while pushing him back to the compound. Steve sighed as he plonked on his bed, then was taking his shoes and socks off, as he sat there tapping his feet on the carpet, he felt it in his heart. He smiled and realized that he feels this emptiness in his heart when Y/N is not around, and he wasn’t sure how he’ll handle it when she’ll be gone for so long. Without thinking twice, he stood up and was walking towards her boat, he had to confess before it was too late.

Y/N sighed as she placed the last bag in the corner of her boat, she tied her waves into a bun as she looked around her tiny space. Her last night here, with Steve before she sailed off with her team and their boats all across the globe. This time she wasn’t running away, she wanted to find out who she was. She didn’t hear the steps down to her compartment, but she felt warmth enveloped around her, and pecks and bites on her right shoulder. Y/N sighed and reached back to wrap her hands around the nape of his neck, “I can’t wait any longer” he inhaled her scent, she giggled “I was just leaving love”. “No doll” he turned her around facing her, pulling her closer to him, his forehead leaning against hers “I can’t wait that long for you, for us to decide about us. I want us to be more than what we are” he confessed, she widened her eyes and gasped a little “Steve I” “I love you” he interrupted, “And I can’t believe it took so long, but you mean so much to me doll, and with the stones, Peggy and’ Y/N interrupted his ramble by leaping to him and kissing him hard on the lips, he kissed her back with the same eagerness, wrapping his arms around her tightening his hold and pulling her closer, afraid she’ll let go. She let go of the kiss and had few tears streaming down her face, Steve immediately brushing them away with his thumbs. “I love you too, so so much” she confessed back, Steve smiled, cupped her cheeks and kissed her again, she jumped and wrapped her legs around their waist as he stumbled back to her bed. He tossed her against the sheets but immediately crawled over her, kissing her intensely, while untying her hair from the bun and running his fingers over her luscious locks. She pushed him from the kiss, tossed her hair to the side and slipped of her V-neck top revealing the white strapless bra she was wearing that was also pushing her breasts. She heard him mutter “fuck” and she cheekily replied “Language”.

He rolled his eyes and pulled her leg to him, “I’ll show you language” he growled before kissing down her jaw to the valley of her breasts, trailing bites and open mouth kisses on her tummy. His fingers skilfully unbuttoned and unzipped her pants, slid them off her slender legs and threw it behind him. She whined and pulled him towards her “You have too many clothes on” as she reached for the back of his sweatshirt and was trying to pull it off of him, he leaned back a little and swiftly pulled it off bearing his torso also slipped off his pants leaving him in his boxers. Y/N seductively bit her lip as she spotted the bulge in his boxers and boy he was huge. Y/N pulled him to bed and was straddling his hips while she placed kisses all over his face, and went to his left ear, biting it and swirling her tongue over his lobe. He closed his eyes in bliss, struggling to unclasp her bra from behind, Y/N chuckled at his fingers fumbling over the clasp. She pulled back a little and unclasped it herself, letting the bra fall from her chest and not leaving Steve’s gaze. She got a little nervous seeing his breathless gaze, but she was pushed back with him over her. He breathed heavily into her ear, making Y/N moan as his big hand cupped her right breast, her toes curling when his thumb was gently brushing over her nipple. “You’re driving me crazy doll, you’re so fucking beautiful” he whispered hoarsely, and Y/N swore she felt herself getting even wetter down there. Within seconds he pushed her further up the pillows as placed soft kisses from her stomach down to her panties. He kneeled down to the floor as the bed was slightly shorter, but his gaze never left Y/N’s as he slowly curled his fingers on the edge of her panties, and he slipped it off while trailing open mouthed kisses on her right leg. She sighed, not only she was feeling good but also a bit nervous as what Steve was about to do next. His long fingers pushed her thighs apart, and he looked back at her with a much darker look in his eyes. “You’re so wet doll”, he whispered as he left light pecks along her inner thighs while he gently rubbed her slit with his fingertips “Oh shit” Y/N sighed as she pushed her head against the pillows running her hand over her hair. “Language” he playfully muttered before he gave a long lick causing Y/N to moan loudly and arch her back. “Steve” she breathed as he sucked in her clit, his tongue flicking quickly and roughly on it. She grasped his locks in her knuckles as she felt his tongue slide inside her lips almost crushing his head between her eyes because what he was making her feel was beyond words. She felt herself coil when Steve started rubbing her clit while tongue-fucking her, “I’m, I’m so close” she finally breathed out. But before she could reach her peak, he pulled his tongue out and pulled her on top of him, she realised he took his boxers off as she felt his hard on against her back. Steve pulled her in for a soft kiss, before he whispered against her lips “There’s a condom in my pocket, my pants are next to you”, she smiled and kissed him again, “It’s okay I’m on the pill”. She kissed him again, her nose rubbings against his as she positioned herself and she slowly slid down his hard rock length. Both groaning in ecstasy with how full Y/N felt and the tightness that Steve felt. Once she got use to his size, she slowly grinded her hips against his, reaching towards him and biting his lower lip. Steve groaned and leaned down taking her right boob in his mouth, sucking her nipple and flicking it with his tongue. He then turned to the other boob giving it the same treatment, but he found a spot next to her nipple and gave her a hickey, Y/N pulling him closer, holding his head tightly. Steve started thrusting upwards as he felt himself getting closer, Y/N’s hold on him tightening “Cum with me Y/N” he whispered against her lips, before kissing them as they reached their high. Y/N arched her back to him as she quivered from the euphoria she felt, her limp body lying against his chest as they controlled their breathing. He gently stroked her back with his fingers, straying the sweaty hair from her back. She slowly pulled off him and collapsed into the bed, lying on her stomach. He walked to the cubicle and brought back a wet cloth wiping the stickiness between her legs, he then threw it on the side and pulled the covers over him. She turned to him, smiling and snuggled closer to him. He pecked her hair wrapped her arms around her, while having their legs intertwined.

Y/N was gazing over the map, checking the route that the will be following, she was also making sure the weather was fine or if any unexpected storm will appear, as she swiped in her iPad. She couldn’t sleep but was still in bed, lying down but facing the foot of the bed as she was checking a few things for tomorrow morning (well the next few hours). She felt the bed move, and a presence over her, Steve was kissing her upper back and left shoulder “Couldn’t sleep?” he muttered as he placed his chin on the shoulder. She placed the iPad down and turned to him smiling softly and almost as if she was caught red handed, she sighed “no not really” before giving him a soft kiss on the lips. Steve laid sideways supporting himself on his right elbow while his other fingers grazed over her leg which was peeking out from the bed sheets. “I was thinking, if I could come with you” he casually asked. Y/N laid closer to him, her fingers trailing his biceps, “whatya mean you wanna come with me?” she asked. “what I’m saying” he trailed as he rolled them over with him on top of her “I don’t think I can wait that long for you, I’ve lost too many people by letting them go” “I don’t wanna lose you,” he confessed, brushing a strand away from her face and cupping her cheek. She leaned towards his palm and joked, “Thank god you don’t get sea sick” he chuckled before leaning down and taking her lips in his. His nose rubbing against her “Use me you’re electric babe” she whispered, he smiled back “Move me, take me anywhere”

Tag List : @imanuglywombat @southerngracela @justanotherloveaffair @et-lesailes @firstangeldragonranch @quaiderade @averyrogers83 @patzammit @jessestarr @firedolphin04 @allsortsofinterests @crist1216 @heladoom @allisonclaireeevans @heyiamthatbitch

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rawresparza · 5 years

Note

I'm just itching for some fluffy Barisi. Do you have any (wait, that sounded weird, but I hope you know what I mean!), or can you magic some out of thin air with your amazing writing? :D

Mm, I went into this intending fluff and it immediately turned into angst. But there’s ultimately fluff underneath at all?? Just something I got into my head and had to get down, I hope it came out okay because I haven’t written anything in what feels like forever.

WARNING: mentions of past abuse

–

It’s funny how drastically three words can change everything.

It can change a dynamic, a relationship, a life.

“I love you.”

Perhaps it’s arrogant in a way to think of it but Sonny has never said it to anyone who hasn’t said it back. Then again, he’d never meant it as earnestly as he does now but maybe that should have been his first red flag. Maybe he should have taken it as a sign to be more cautious. Instead, he’d let himself be blindsided. He’d opened himself up to the risk of Rafael not being able to say it, too. He’d just never once even considered it would turn out that way.

And yet, here they lie in frightening silence, shoulder to shoulder in Rafael’s bed. Rafael still hasn’t said a word, his reading glasses perched low on his nose as he fixes his gaze on the case file he’s no longer reviewing. Sonny had protested when he’d brought the file with him to the bedroom but Rafael has court tomorrow and he’d wanted to make sure he was as prepared as possible. Rafael had batted those long lashes over those pretty green eyes and Sonny had folded much faster than he’d like to admit.

Sonny can’t take his eyes off Rafael. Every so often, he realizes he’s holding his breath, waiting for a response he isn’t sure is coming. He breathes in deeply through his nostrils then back out, chest rising and falling in a way that doesn’t betray how erratically his heart seems to be beating.

Is this how it ends? No. No, it can’t be. It doesn’t have to, anyway. Sonny can wait, right? It’s a little soon, in all fairness, they’ve only been dating for ten months; but ten months is almost a year and a year is a good amount of time to allow for two people to know whether they’re in love or not, isn’t it? He’s said it to exes sooner than that.

And look where it got you, a little voice in the back of his head whispers. His voice, the one he prefers to keep buried because when it rises, it tends to hand out uglier truths. He doesn’t love you. Hell, he can’t even bear to look you.

Sonny fights against that train of thought. Whatever is going through Rafael’s mind right now, it’s far from disgust. Sonny can at least be confident of that.

“I—”

“You—”

They both cringe, offering each other weak smiles.

“You first,” Rafael urges gently.

He still doesn’t quite make eye contact. Somehow that’s more hurtful than anything else right now. Somehow, Sonny has come to the conclusion that if Rafael would just look at him, they can fix this. They can come to an understanding. Rafael can get back to his case file, Sonny can get back to catching up on Game of Thrones (because Amanda has threatened to spoil the ending if he doesn’t finish it soon) and everything will be as if there hadn’t been a disturbance in the first place.

Because you are a disturbance. A weight on his shoulders, one he doesn’t want to carry anymore.

Sonny clears his too dry throat. “It’s okay if you don’t. No pressure. I just— I looked over at you and you had those little lines between your brows you get when you’re concentrating or you’re— yeah, those, you’re doing it. Your tongue was sticking out a little, too, you know I love catching you do that.” Rafael blinks but he remains patient, waiting for Sonny to reach the point. “Anyway, I do. I love you. You don’t have to say it back or anything, I guess it just seemed like a good time to let you know.” He pauses, unable to help himself before adding, not quite unbitterly, “I’m sorry I was wrong.”

Another long stretch of silence passes between them and Sonny very nearly volunteers to simply go home but then finally, finally, Rafael lifts his head. Sonny doesn’t expect to see Rafael’s eyes welling with tears.

“I’m sorry.”

The words come out raspy, like Rafael had been screaming even though he’s barely managed to string together a complete sentence for a solid five minutes now, and Sonny notes the way he has to force a swallow and the slight tremble to his bottom lip. It makes Sonny sit up straight, attention rapt now because this isn’t how it’s supposed to go, this isn’t how Rafael is supposed to react.

“Hey.” He shifts a little closer, prepared to reach out to take Rafael’s hands but freezing when Rafael flinches. Sonny feels like the rejection like a slap to the face, he’s borderline certain he’ll find the remnants of a handprint on his cheek in the morning and realize he hadn’t just imagined it. His mind races with his options, with failed ideas of what he can do to understand what’s going on, to make this better.

You shouldn’t have opened your damn mouth. You could have avoided all this in the first place.

“Please talk to me, Rafael,” Sonny says. His hands settle on gripping a pillow so he can hold it in front of himself like a protective shield, hugging it close to his chest, as if it might repel whatever undoubtedly horrible thing Rafael is going to say next. “Is it me? Do you want me to go?”

“No,” Rafael says quickly, shaking his head. At least there’s that. “No. I want to say it, Sonny, I do.”

Sonny blinks back the hot tears forming in his own eyes now, lifting his gaze to the ceiling as he blinks hard to avoid letting the tears fall. “So why don’t you? It’s okay, I won’t be upset. If you don’t feel that way yet, I’ll understand.”

You’re a liar. You’re a liar and you’re not dating a fool. Weren’t dating, anyway.

“It’s complicated,” Rafael murmurs, “and it’s not fair to you.”

“You’ve always been complicated.” Sonny tries to say it lightly, his effort to inject a little bit of lightness into the conversation even though he can sense the dark clouds falling into place above them. “I have time, Rafael. If you want to tell me, you know I’ll listen.”

Sucking in a breath, Rafael sets his case file and glasses down on the nightstand beside him. It takes him a moment to collect himself and Sonny can’t see his face now but he can see Rafael’s jaw working, can see the attempt to square those shoulders, to effort to keep it together. If there’s distinct reasoning behind all this, maybe that means they’ll be okay after all. So he stays quiet, lets Rafael work his way up to speaking again on his own time.

“It’s what he used to say.”

Sonny narrows his eyes when Rafael doesn’t expand, not quite understanding what he’s supposed to gather from that statement. “What who used to say?”

Rafael continues on as if he hadn’t heard the question. Maybe he really hadn’t. “He said it every time it happened, without fail. I get it now, I get what it really meant, how empty it was but at the time, I wanted to believe it so badly. I let myself believe it all those years.”

Very nearly, Sonny almost asks for clarification again but then his eyes find the stray cigarette burn on the curve of Rafael’s shoulder then the half-square scar toward Rafael’s tailbone and it clicks. “You’re talking about your dad.”

Rafael barely nods his confirmation. “He loved me so he had to teach me. He loved me so he had to make sure I knew better. He loved me so he knew I’d understand why I couldn’t tell anyone why I had a limp at school the next day. He loved me so I got to choose which belt he’d be using.”

Sonny’s eyes flutter shut, his fists tightening over the sheets as he tries not to audibly react. That’s not what Rafael needs right now. It isn’t often Rafael talks so openly about his childhood, Sonny doesn’t want to risk making him close off again. Still, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t wish he could travel back in time just to beat the ever-loving hell out of Rafael’s father then travel back a second time to do it all over again.

“My mom tried to stop him once. He broke her nose. I told her if she loved me, she’d never interfere again and it worked. She never did. My father was really good at showing how much he loved me, he just did it with his fists.”

“Rafael…”

He trails off. What is there to say? There’s nothing you can say. You’re useless, you can’t do anything to fix this.

“I’m telling you this because I want you to understand that for a part of me, love is always going to be associated with that pain. Those memories. When you say you love me, it’s like I can hear him, too. It’s just… hard sometimes.”

“You never have to say it back,” Sonny rushes to say, not entirely sure that’s what he’d actually meant to say or whether it would be even remotely helpful. “If you want me to stop saying it, that’s okay, I’ll find another way.”

Rafael shifts his body so he can face Sonny again, his whole expression softening now. The lines between his brows are gone, there’s just affection and a little bit of regret in his eyes, though Sonny isn’t sure what that means.

“I don’t want you stop, that’s the thing,” Rafael tells him. He hesitates just slightly then reaches out to gently unfold Sonny’s fingers from the sheets until he can link them with his own. “I want you to say it because coming from you, it’s so different. I know you’ll never hurt me, I know that. The thing about abuse is, it’s forever, no matter the source. It stays with you for life. It’s not something you can switch off when the memory of it becomes overwhelming. Forty years. Forty years and I can still remember the first time he hit me as clearly as if it’d happened this morning. But I carry on, I suck it up, because that’s what’s expected of me. That’s what I need to do if I want to live my life. And I need you to understand that just because you can’t fix it doesn’t mean you aren’t still the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Sonny snivels, bringing Rafael’s knuckles to his lips and gently pressing his lips against each one. “I get it. Whatever you need to do, I get it, I’m glad you told me.”

“I do, by the way,” Rafael says, tilting his head with a faint smile. “I really do. I want you to know that. You are the reason I believe the good in love again. It might just take me a little while before I can actually say it.”

“I can wait,” Sonny promises. “It’ll be worth it.”

He listens for the voice in the back of his head to sabotage the moment, to try to convince him Rafael would rather fabricate a complex lie than spare him the nasty truth, but there’s nothing. The voice has quieted for now. All that’s left is the comfort of knowing Rafael loves him, too. That’s all he needs, really, words are just words.

Some things, sometimes the least obvious things, are simply better left unsaid.

#barisi #rafael barba #sonny carisi #svu #tw: abuse #prompt fill #my writing

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peakysabrina · 4 years

Text

Heaven

How Jeremiah met his wife, how they got married, and the story of how Isaiah was born.

TW for miscarriages, sorry!!

Jeremiah Jesus had tried to become a priest before, but because of the reasons stated above, had been pushed out of the noble calling of God. Time and time again, he had gone to the seminar, and had done what all the white boys had done, better than them, and was still rejected with a snare and everything short but a kick to the backside. Somehow, his devotion to God wasn't good enough, his oratory wasn't good enough, and him as a man wasn't enough. Every time, he knew very well why it had been: because he was black, his parents were from the Caribbean, and he didn't fit the Church of England's image of a good shepard for their sheep. The sheep, better known as citizens, weren't big on other ethnicities, and a coloured pastor could drive them away from church, and away from the brain-wash that went on inside such venerable buildings.

So Jeremiah Jesus gave up, tired of wasting his time studying the Bible and the great Classic masters of oratory, given that it was of no use. Instead, he decided it would be much better to make it on his own, to go off into the world, make his money, find a job, one that he could excel at, despite the colour of his skin, or the place of origin of his parents. The first step to make that happen was to go around to the shops, to try and find someone who would employ him, even if it was in the backrooms, or warehouses. No one agreed, so Jeremiah moved on to the farms and factories around Birmingham. There, in the small property of Jacob Steadman, he found what he was looking for: a steady position as farm hand, doing whatever was needed.

The Steadman family was composed of seven people: the father, Jacob, who was married to Lucinda; the eldest daughter, Lucy; and four younger siblings, named Jacob Jr., Alphonse (who went by Alphie), Henrietta and Julius. They had a couple more men on the property, who mostly dealt with the produce the family sold at nearby markets. The Steadmans weren't rich, but they lived comfortably, which allowed them a bit more independence, and an education for their children. The eldest one, a beautiful red-haired girl in her early twenties, was especially gifted, and wrote stories for her younger brothers and sisters, which she also illustrated with all the care in the world. She was, unfortunately, prone to bouts of coughing fits, with no apparent reason, and the fairy-tale sessions were often interrupted by these moments, much to her sadness.

"Hey. You need any help?" the same Lucy came asking, carrying a tin full of water and a plate of food. "You've been at it for hours, eh?"

"It's my job" Jeremiah replied, looking up from the car tyre he was trying to patch up, and seeing that blessed apparition, made even more welcome by the food she was holding. "I will accept some lunch, though"

"Yeah, thought so" she replied, chuckling and handing him the plate and the water. "How's it going with dad's car? That tyre's busted"

"Busted is... an understatement. You feeling better today? I heard you coughing yesterday"

"I uh... I'm better, I think, yeah" Lucy sighed, obviously not one bit better, but refusing to look weak, even in front of the help. "To be honest with you, I don't think I'll ever get any better. But that's just my opinion"

"Have you been to a doctor?" Jeremiah looked up from his plate, still chewing a bit of meat. "Nothing they can do about it?"

"I've been to a couple doctors, and none of them know what the hell is going on. Shit, sorry, shouldn't curse, you're religious" Lucy let out, apparently unaware that it hadn't been offensive, but rather funny, to hear someone so proper speaking like that.

"No problem, I'm not that religious" he assured, observing closely the process of his boss's daughter crouching, and then sitting on the ground. If he was asked, a lady sitting on the ground, talking to the coloured help would be much more scandalous than all the cursing in the world. But he liked how pratical she was, how she didn't let her obvious beauty and good manners get in the way of doing what she wanted to do. "I have a chair somewhere over there, if you want"

"Nah, I'm alright, thanks" was the quick answer, accompanied by a shrug. "I'm sorry if I kept you awake with my coughing"

"You didn't. I couldn't sleep anyway"

"Anything worrying you?" Lucy kindly asked, taking a nearby wrench and playing with it, throwing it in the air a couple of times, and catching it with precision. "Well, anything I can help you with? Even if it's just talking"

"On second thought, maybe it was your coughing" Jeremiah joked, finishing his lunch and taking a big swig of water. "No, it's nothing. I was reading, and I lost track of time"

"I know that feeling. You know what I was reading? That one author you showed me, Jane Austen. Really like her stuff" Lucy informed, dreamily looking into the distance. Truth be told, Jeremiah was terrified of her when she looked like that, terrified of the way it made him want to lunge forward and kiss her. It was unspokenly agreed between the two that whatever the thing between them was, it was friendship, and just that: friendship.

"Glad you like it, I came across some stuff of hers through a friend of mine in town" he replied, clearing his throat, and coming back to reality. "His dad knew her dad, or so he says"

"That's interesting. What about you, what were you reading?"

"Do you even need to ask?" he laughed, drinking what was left from the water. "I go back to it a couple times a year, to make sure I haven't forgotten anything. Helps me keep my mind in the right place"

"Fair enough, Jimmy. No shame in that" she responded, using that name that only she was allowed to use. She didn't like the name Jeremiah for some reason, didn't like the way it sounded; but Jimmy sounded good, it suited him. Reading the Bible and losing track of time because of it also suit him, and Lucy was very aware that it was just one of the manners in which he was perfect, in which he made her fall for him.

"You've read the Bible, haven't you?"

"Might have... when I went to Sunday School. Ah, and on Sundays, they always read a bit, don't they? Can't say I remember reading it from start to finish in one go, though" she admitted, tapping her fingers on her lips as she gave the subject some thought. "I prefer novels, You know the ones, where the girls have pretty dresses, and always end up marrying the man of their dreams and living in a mansion"

"That what you want to do?"

"Pfff" Lucy let out, a strange and humorous sound that made Jeremiah laugh along. "I don't really care about dresses, and mansions are too much maintenance. As for the man of my dreams, he knows where I live, he can come get me if he wants" she added, looking down, and then up at him. Another good thing about Lucy was this: she knew what she wanted, and she knew how to get it. The ball was in his court, so to speak, and there was no religion that could provide an answer.

That conversation was the latest of many they had shared, and hints had been coming all along. But it was all in good fun, a bit of light flirting between friends. There had never been anything like that very particular jab, and it wasn't mistakeable for banter. So, it was time to make a decision: to stick to friendship, maintain everything as it was, and resort to reading the Holy Book to drown the noise of his very obvious attraction; or to go ahead and go get the girl he wanted. It was true: he knew where she lived, and knew which room was hers. It had to be the one which still had light coming from underneath the door. She had to be awake, and alone, for them to be able to talk through what they needed to talk through. As softly as he could, he knocked, and the door opened instantly, like she had been waiting. Knowing Lucy, she probably had been, although she would not admit to it.

"Thank God, I was starting to think you hadn't gotten my hint" Lucy scoffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Took you long enough"

"It wasn't an open invitation, was it? What happens if your parents come around to check on you? And what if they hear us?" Jeremiah asked in return, fully regretting what he had done. It would mean being dismissed on the spot, and he couldn't really afford to go back to his parents' house. "I can't lose my job"

"You won't, don't think about it" she guaranteed, going around Jeremiah and locking the door. "See? They can't come in"

"What does it mean, then? What do you want to do?" he asked, bearing in mind that a decision had to be made, and the sooner the better, before someone caught them.

"Do I need to know? Do you really need an answer to that?" Lucy asked, biting her lip repeatedly, obviously nervous for being put on the spot.

"If I didn't need to know where we stand, I wouldn't have come here, now would I?" Jeremiah asked, losing a bit of his cool. It was in his nature to need everything decided, and defined. The idea of puting them both at risk for nothing was annoying, to say the least. "I came here for nothing, wasn't it, Lucy?"

Her reaction was completely unexpected: instead of pouting, or retaliating, Lucy simply walked up to him, placed her hands on his neck, and pulled him down, kissing him on the lips. For good measure, she took Jeremiah's own palms and placed them on her waist, where he could feel the warmth of her skin through the cotton of the nightgown.

"Would this be considered nothing?" Lucy asked, breaking the kiss but making sure Jeremiah's hands stayed where they were. "Because if so..." she continued, taking his writs, and making his hands move to her thighs, and then up, and up, until the nightgown was over her head and on the floor. "...would this be better?"

For once, Jeremiah was speachless, and torn between looking at her face, or looking down at her body, which was wrong, but pretty damn irresistible. He didn't know whether she was aware of what she had done, but it didn't seem to be a problem when he bent over to kiss her, taking her into his arms without thinking too much about it.

After that night, things only escalated: from sex, to talks of marriage, and to a proposal, done beneath the apple trees on a warm Spring day, complete with the best ring the sparse money Jeremiah could buy. At the same time, he'd started making efforts to find a new job, whereas Lucy had gotten employment at the Birmingham library, in hopes that some day, they could tell her parents about their engagement. Once that was out of the way, they could get married, and move into their own house, living their lives, building a family, having a good existence. Luckily, there had been an opening for Bible Studies teacher, under mysterious circumstances, but that were probably connected with the imprisonment of the deacon. Hence, it was time: Lucy's parents had to know.

"Mom and dad, me and Ji... I mean, me and Jeremiah have something we need to tell you" Lucy started, getting her mother's attention, while her father kept on reading the newspaper. "We're engaged to be married"

"You're what? To... to each other?" mrs. Steadman asked, absolutely caught off guard.

"Yeah" her daughter responded, showing her mother the engagement ring.

"No"

"What?"

"I said no" mr. Steadman chimed in, lowering the paper, and looking at his daughter with the utmost disgust. "You are not marrying a coloured man, let alone a poor one"

"Excuse me, sir, but I don't think the colour of my skin has anything to do with this subject. I love your daughter, I am prepared to offer her the best life I possibly can" Jeremiah protested, forcing Lucy to take his arm, to pacify him a little.

"Look son, I have no problem with the colour of your skin, but I am not letting my daughter marry you" Jacob replied, as if he was simply commenting on the weather outside. "You have no idea how people will treat her if she marries you"

"I'm not unaware of that, dad, I know how stupid people are; I don't care about any of that, I'm prepared to deal with whatever is thrown at me. Jeremiah asked me to marry him, I said yes, and that's that. You can be by my side on my wedding day, or not. That's your call" Lucy stated, beggining to feel the burn of anger on her throat. "He's the man I want, he's the man I love, and that's that on that"

"Out" Jacob simply stated, his eyes as clear as day, pointing to the door. He didn't even raise his voice, but the message as loud: he wanted the both of them out of his house, and he wanted them to go without missing a second. As for his wife, she just lowered her head and went back to sewing, pursing her lips but saying nothing. It seemed like the only one affected by that demand was Lucy, whose eyes filled with tears, and fists clenched. "I said out, didn't you hear me? Out of my sight, both of you. And don't you dare come back"

Matter of fact, they didn't. Lucy packed her clothes and some books she'd bought with her own money, wrote a letter to her siblings explaining why she had to leave, and was out of her childhood home before dinner time. As for her fiancé, a completely distraught Jeremiah, there was not much to be said: the guilt he felt in his heart was so overwhelming he wanted to simultaneously punch Jacob Steadman and hug Lucy, to cry on her shoulder. It was her spirit that never waivered, it was her that got him out of the property her parents owned, and it was her who found them a room to rent while they saved up for an apartment or house of their own. Their landlord, Arthur Shelby, was a strange man, but his wife, named Elizabeth, was an angel, who looked after the young couple with as much care as she did her own child, a lanky, sickly-looking boy named after his father.

As for their wedding, there was not much to be said: there was the priest, the bride, the groom, and two witnesses, namely Elizabeth Shelby and her husband, who signed the paper with a disgruntled look on his face. It wasn't much of a party, but then again it didn't need to be, as Lucy and Jeremiah didn't have the means to provide one. The bride had a bouquet of wildflowers, and a simple everyday dress, but her groom was so in love it didn't matter. To Jeremiah, she was an angel, something from high heavens.

"... I now pronounce you husband and wife. Mr. Jesus, you may kiss your bride" the pastor announced, causing both Jeremiah and Lucy to smile at each other, before chastly kissing to the sound of Elizabeth Shelby's subdued clapping, echoing off the walls of the empty church.

"Congratulations, I wish you nothing but happiness, truly" Elizabeth wished, hugging Lucy tightly and patting Jeremiah's shoulder. As for her husband, he was already outside, smoking a cigarette and probably trying to make a pass at any woman who passed by. "Now would be the time to leave your bouquet at the altar and make a wish. I'll wait outside"

"Oh, I forgot" Lucy let out, turning to the altar and trying to think of a wish. "You have anything you want to wish for?" she asked Jeremiah, who in all honesty, was just happy to be alive and married to the girl he loved.

"Not really, I'll leave the wish to you" he replied, accompanying her back to the altar, where a figure of Jesus Christ on the cross looked over them.

"Well, I wish for..." she started, a sweet smile on her features. "I wish for a happy and healthy baby. And since my husband doesn't want to make his own wish, I'll take his and ask for some te ability to carry my child safely"

"That's a good wish" Jeremiah replied, wrapping his arm around her waist. "Both of them are, really. Can't wait to have a little one with you"

"Me either. You reckon it will take long to... should we be talking about this in church, though?" Lucy laughed, putting down the simply bouquet of flowers and taking Jeremiah's hand as they exited the temple. "I feel bad now, for talking about baby-making at church"

"God doesn't care, don't worry" Jeremiah assured, as they walked over to the Shelbies, who were waiting for them. "Can't wait, though"

In the end, it did take a fair bit for a baby to make its appearance in their life. Elizabeth Shelby had four children by the time Lucy Jesus managed to carry a pregnancy to term. Her disappointments had taken its toll on the girl, who became more and more fragile as time went by. Her coughing became constant, and her body slowly started giving in. However, Lucy had gathered every bit of strength she had, and, in 1905, Isaiah was born. He was healthy, beautiful, and strong, much stronger than his mother. In due time, the little boy had to say goodbye to his father, who departed for war, and then, to his mother, who couldn't survive another miscarriage. Elizabeth Shelby and Polly Gray, her sister-in-law, raised the Jesus boy, who grew up playing with the Shelby boys, and who would, in time, become one of them.

The second part of this (focused on Isaiah) is on AO3

#peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders cast #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders #peaky blinder headcanon #peaky fookin blinders

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mystic-scripture · 5 years

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What if It Wasn’t Fake? Part 1

A Bucky Fake Dating AU.

Hey all, this is part of Amanda aka @stanclub‘s 2.5 K writing challenge! This is the first time I’ve done one of these and honestly, I can’t believe I have to split this up, it was so simple in my mind, but the details just got away from me.

Word Count: 6,992

Warnings: Swearing, lots of drinking, anxiety ridden situations, anything else please let me know ASAP

I want to say this is part one of two, but I am not sure yet...we’ll see.

Fake Dating Prompt: my friends are all coupled up and i’m the only single person so i pretended you were my partner even though you’re the barista/bookstore owner/etc. that i see all the time and now they want to meet you (for bucky)

Warning( separate from the others I guess) : I refer to Rocket briefly in this, but please assume he is human, kay (i.e. he looks and sounds like Bradley Cooper). Not judging others, but not really into that furry stuff. I just wanted to make the jokes that I make really bad.

What if it Wasn’t Fake?

“Are you kidding me right now?” Bright, frost blue eyes glanced at yours in amusement as well as confusion. “I mean, you’ve gotta be right? We’ve never interacted outside this bar as individuals, let alone what you’re proposing so there’s no way you expect me to say yes to that.”

“Come on, Buck!” You pleaded, slapping your hand against said counter as he cleaned a glass in front of you. “It’s not like I had any other options!”

“Oh, so I’m not even your first choice; Just your only one.” His eyes narrowed at you, but there was a playful glint to his eyes that you swear you (or rather the booze in you) could see. “Consider me flattered.”

You groaned, rubbing your temples with a headache that wasn’t even close to a warning of the impending hangover you were going to have in the morning. You’d been hanging out with your friends, Gamora (and goofball of a boyfriend Peter), Okoye (and her new beau M’baku), Jarvis (though he goes by Vis ever since he started dating Wanda), and Clint (and his baby mama Laura).

The pattern is already becoming evident, thus your problem. You were single in a flock of paired lovebirds. Which is what led you into the very situation that had you pleading a teasing Bucky. They were all partnered up, and even adding more couples to the friend group, while you sat alone and isolated amongst a sea of friends. And none of them helped with the numerous blind dates they wouldn’t tell you about until you were trapped. Not that you were complaining about the hookup with Peter’s friend Rocket, dude was an animal and knew what he was doing.

So, when it came time to decide who your plus one to the big art gallery opening you were all invited to in a week, you embellished on your relationship status. And by embellished, you told everyone that you were dating the hot bartender at your favorite bar, now they all want to meet him beforehand, and you were strapped. Dinner, in three days, and you hadn’t even told him that you’d said this just as long ago. Work had been hectic and you’d been cramming to get this done in time, and well, you just couldn’t bring yourself to tell him. At least not until it was last call and you’d had several of your go to cocktails.

This lead to the very circular conversation you were currently having about a few days of prep/ ‘research’ in order to know each other and not get caught up in things. He, though finding you amusing and adorable, was refusing, and you were getting more embarrassed the more you talked about it. It’s not like you wanted to have a fake boyfriend, you were just tired of all the couples feeling bad for you.

“Look, I’ll tell them that we broke it off because you had to do something that will make you look good, or even better, you dumped me for someone better!”

The begging had started about ten minutes ago, but it was getting more slurred as you sat there, more and more of the liquer saturating in your liver. You had figured if you ordered enough drinks and tipped him enough, he might eventually give in out of sheer annoyance. Unfortunately, he was painfully sober and not having it. So, you’ve dissolved into telling him the truth.

“And you really think none of them are going to see through it?” He shook his head, punching buttons in the register to close out someone’s tab. “Pretty sure Clint is a regular here, and Gamora comes on Karaoke nights.”

“Please, we both know you don’t work Karaoke.” You argued, not denying the holes in your plan. “And if Clint’s here, he’s here to drink, not pay attention to the various people that serve him. Well, unless it’s Nat, he’s never too busy to flirt with Nat.”

“Oh he does more than flirt,” The redhead corrected, casting a wink in your direction. “At least he did until he knocked Laura up; now he’s a total boy scout. Mention me in casual conversation; you’ll see.”

“Romanoff you are really not helping. “Bucky rolled his eyes at your banter, “That is hardly the point here, and you have four tables to clear off.”

A mock salute was tossed his way as Nat gracefully floated away. “Fine, Fine, go back to your petty excuse for a fight that we all know you’re going to cave on.”

You watched as an icy glare was sent in her direction, before the gaze turned molten towards you. There was something about the intensity of these gazes that sent chills down your spine. You didn’t know if it was because of the booze, or the fact that you suspected Natasha’s comment meant something more. You were scared by this, still awaiting a reply. A part of you wanted to worry, but something else in you made you put on a brave face. You slapped a rather large tip on the table, and raised an eyebrow in what you hoped looked like a challenge.

“So…” You dragged the word out, your small spark of courage fluttering. “Are we going to keep up this charade, or are you going to help me?”

A dark, throaty chuckle resounded from his chest. “Puppy eyes and begging didn’t work, so we’re resorting to bribery now, Doll?”

“You underestimate the desperate nature of my condition.” The statement sounded a lot less pitiful in your head, but you barrelled forward. “And judging by your coworker’s comments I have overestimated your resolve.”

Broad shoulders turned from you, long fingers gracefully cleaning the freshly washed glasses. “We’ll see (y/ln), we’ll see.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been a long process, but after you’d all but locked yourself in the bar with him while he closed, you’d finally convinced Bucky to go along with your plan. Well, most of your plan. He refused to see you outside of work until the dinner which was right before the event, meaning no prep, and no idea what to say about him for the next few days as questions abounded. Typically, it ended up with you texting him, or Nat should he refuse to answer, as quickly and discreetly as possible. As you sat at lunch with the guys today, (the girls were having a spa day that you rejected to) you could feel the worry curdle in your gut. Or maybe it was the Bailey’s from the Car Bomb you all downed.

“So, tell us more about your boy, (y/n).” Quill slurred, leaning back in his chair to the point that it tipped slightly, causing him to slump forward. “How can we believe he’ll show?”

“Like you can talk when you tried to set me up with that Trash Panda you call a friend.” You bit back. “Dude showed up an hour late and then tried to steal an old man’s prosthetic. The only reason I even did anything with him after is because he was very ripped, and very persuasive.”

“Eww, you actually did Rocket?” he gagged. “I’d hoped he was kidding when he said he’d hit it and quit it.”

“That is only half true!” Clint laughed, sticking up for you, which made you relax your fist around your glass. “I’m pretty sure (y/n) kicked him out of her apartment after she was done with him.”

“Were you listening from the roof again, you perv?” You teased, feeling yourself grow calm in the banter. “I swear you just sit at that air duct so you can have blackmail.”

“You can prove nothing, (y/ln). Nothing.” The blonde winked, tossing his sandwich wrapper into the bin three tables down with a soft swish. “And even if you could, you’ll never see me coming.”

M’baku’s deep chuckle sounded next to you as he swallowed down a bite of his veggie wrap. “I fail to see what any of this has to do with your...Bucky?” You nodded. “And how we know nothing of him. How long have you been seeing each other without any of us knowing?”

Vis nodded, the tea in front of him steaming in curls around his face.”I agree, I feel like you would have told us something sooner, (y/n). I’m honestly quite offended to have not heard of this.”

You sighed, bobbing your shoulders up and dropping them in a look of doubt. “If I’m telling the truth? I don’t even know, we’ve known each other in passing for a while, so I can’t pinpoint exactly when we crossed the line between friends and more…” You paused, trying to find a way to say this in a way that wouldn’t make it sound like you’d literally said the first guy they didn’t know that popped into your head. “Besides, I wanted to make sure this was a decent thing before bringing him into the fold, ya know? Vet him out a little bit.”

This seemed to please them, and after everyone had finished eating, it was decided they would go to the park to wait for the girls. Some frisbee was tossed, a few vendors visited. As the sun died down, you all walked for a bit, discussing work and the various things that have happened throughout the week, when you felt a light tap at your shoulder, causing you to turn, the group continuing without you. Knowing it wasn’t any of your friends, you swung your fist, thinking it was someone up to no good. (I mean, the park didn’t always have savary people, and the day was dying down) However, you were surprised when a warm hand wrapped around yours, catching the punch with ease. Taking a look up, you instantly felt regret and panic as you looked to your friends.

“Buck, what the hell?” You hissed, yanking out of his loose grip as you tried to fix the situation. “What are you doing here?”

“I was heading home, worked the delivery this morning instead of the bar tonight.” He shrugged, running his now free hand through his hair. Nodding behind you, he smirked. “So, those your friends?”

“Yeah, but I don’t like that look on-”

Your concerns were cut off as he swerved around you and towards your friends that were sitting at and around a nearby bench when they saw you weren’t with you. You could have sworn you felt the ghosting of his lips at your temple, but you were too busy panicking at whatever he was planning to really think about it. He had replaced the smirk with a smooth smile, the one you’ve seen him use for the patrons of the bar, and his walk was poised to be relaxed. You numbly followed him, managing to catch up to him in frantic steps just as he reached the boys.

“You all must be (y/n)’s friends I’ve heard so much about.” His voice oozed charm and confidence, a hand outstretched toward Clint who happened to be closest. “I’m James, but you can call me Bucky or Buck.”

You barely had time to catalogue that you never knew his first name before Clint grasped his hand, raising an eyebrow at him. “I know you from somewhere, don’t I? You look super familiar, Dude.”

“Well, I’ve heard your close one of my closest staff members at the bar I own.” He replied easily raising a curious eyebrow in your direction. “Natasha over at Winter’s Draft?”

“Oh, yeah...Nat.” Clint’s grin turned wicked, though frantically made him blanch as we all looked at him. I guess she had been right, total boy scout, my little rebel. He rubbed at the back of his head, giving off a shrug that was meant to look nonchalant. “I mean, I knew her, but it’s been a while. Haven’t seen her since I started seeing Laura.”

“Right, well, she sends her regards.” He stated before quickly going through and introducing himself to each man, somehow knowing enough about them to get through introductions. You watched all of this in awe, barely even reacting to the exchanges and jokes made around you. This was not part of the plan. You were to meet him at your place, and figure out a strategy, dinner at around Seven, go to the gallery opening, and then call it a night. Getting along with your friends? Laughing and knowing things about them? Not expected or anticipated.

It wasn’t until Barton poked you in the ribs saying they were gonna head home since the girls decided to grab some drinks before getting dolled up, that you could really do anything.

“I-I’ll meet you at your car, Clint.” You muttered, blinking slowly to wake yourself up. “I just want to confirm a few things with James about tonight.”

“Don’t worry about it, Man, I can give her a ride.” Bucky insisted, wrapping a loose, but heavy arm around your shoulders. “This might take a while, we’ll just meet you at the restaurant, yeah?”

None of them, aside from Clint, who was still trying to parse how he knew Bucky and not seeing the obvious answer, seemed to pick up on any of the panic that you were trying to exude from your body. There were slight micro expressions of how easily he touched you, something that they knew people had to earn, but otherwise, nothing. Putting on a small smile, I nodded, gulping down the chokehold of anxiety in my throat.

“You know, he’s right, why keep you all away from your Ladies, right? We’ll meet you at the dining hall.”

All the men nodded, waving as they departed, leaving you alone with your bartender, who apparently was the bar’s owner. He seemed relaxed, and not as if he’d just bumped into you with your friends casually when he’d refused to even talk to you about this facade. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you took in the details of his face, a hushed growl replacing it.

“What the fuck was that?!” Your elbow moved to make contact with his ribs, but he’d spun around you and started leading you in the opposite direction with a scarily practiced finesse. You moved with him, knowing that otherwise you’d be dragged, or fall on your face and cause an even bigger scene than the one you’d imagined. “You couldn’t warn me? Text me a heads up, maybe, anything?”

You waved your hands for a more dramatic effect, but it only served to amuse him, an easy smile coming across his lips. “And miss out on how adorably thrown you are? Not a chance in Hell. Besides, figured it would be better if we hadn’t planned on this.”

At this you stopped, stumbling slightly when his arm kept moving behind you. You were quick to duck though, rebalancing yourself to look at him. Your face scrunched as you crossed your arms to hug yourself. His face gave the illusion of being an open book, but you couldn’t read anything off of him. Noticing the crinkle in your brow, he smirked, knowing he was successful.

You let out a puff of air, all anger deflating out of you at this point. “Well, it’s too late to take any of it back now, you just dug yourself deeper down the Rabbit Hole. No backing out now.” You looked where you’d retraced your steps. “Wait wha- You came this way why are we walking through it again? Were you stalking me?”

“Please.” He scoffed, his lip twitching slightly as he tried to hide that damn smirk again. “Don’t flatter yourself, (y/l/n). I happened to be walking through the park after a long day, and wanted to relax before an even longer night where I have to be in a monkey suit.”

“Geeze, such a drama queen.” You scoffed now, motioning to his attire. “You’re halfway there most of the time anyway.”

You both looked down button down shirt, rolled crisply to the elbow and gently folded back. This was actually the first time you’d ever seen him in the daylight, and you couldn’t deny that you liked what you saw. The muscles at the bar were even bigger than you imagined, but there was a softness to him that you didn’t normally see. He had his shirt tucked into dark jeans that tauntingly hugged at his legs (and his ass, if you guessed correctly), and pooled ever so slightly over his boots. Though dressy, you noticed that they also looked scuffed and worn as if he’d had them for a while, or used them in more utility fashion. His hair waved just at the top of his shoulders, giving off a volume that would make a supermodel jealous, and his stubble had been trimmed and groom very recently.

You didn’t even realize you’d been staring until he made some comment about being better than the polar opposite like you- which was true, you were hanging with the guys today, so you’d settled for a ratty old baseball tee, stained jeans, and comfortable sneakers- and huffed, trying to act as if you were looking for your friends in hopes of escaping this mad man. Hell, a part of you was doing this in earnest; he was far too wild a card to play at this kind of thing.

Maybe you could run for it, tell them it was all a ruse, and just never go to the bar you’d been going to nigh on religiously for the past three years. You bit your lip, knowing that wasn’t going to happen, and started to move in the direction you’d been walking in. Having done this, little did you know that he’d dug the rabbit hole deeper for you both, and not just himself.

You muttered a half-hearted shut up, beforehand, but otherwise you both remained quiet, in a way that wasn’t entirely uncomfortable.h Unsure of what to say, or if you should say anything, you kept glancing his way, hoping he wouldn’t notice your squirrelly behavior. However, since luck had clearly designed to abandon you in this endeavor he broke the silence with roll of his eyes.

“What are you looking at? Is this something I’m going to have to deal with all night?” He rubbed a hand down his face with a groan. “Just ask whatever prep questions you wanted to ask, might as well kill the time somehow.”

the silence between you was too much, and you could use the extra time to prepare.

“So.... you own the bar, but work behind the counter?” You asked, “How did I not know that?”

“You never asked.” he stated, “And clearly neither did any of your friends. They cared more about my schooling, and where I grew up and all that junk.”

“But I’ve been going there forever and you didn’t think to mention that ‘oh hey (y/n) just while I make you this long Island I wanted to tell you that I’m the Owner and could charge you for harassment of a staff member.”

“Please, everyone over there loves you, and if you were harassing them, you’d have heard it from Nat. She doesn’t tolerate that shit, which is what makes her a great partner.”

“Also explains how she knows everything about you.” You muttered, the words coming out more bitter than you thought you meant. You didn’t know why, but there was something about the word he used that left a sour taste in your mouth. “She okay with you doing this? Running around with a customer who refused to take no for an answer? Which let me tell you, sounds pretty close to harassment.”

He chuckled, his adam’s apple bobbing with his mirth. “Not that kinda partner, or at least not anymore, strictly business between us. We’ve known each other for years. She also knew I’d give in because I was going to this thing anyway. Would have been awkward to say no and bump into you.”

“Wait-What?” You paused, grabbing his arm. “What do you mean you were going anyway? Are you working the event? Or-”

“The artist is a close friend of mine.” He paused stopping to look down at your hand. You swore you could feel the faintest of flexes under your fingers, but he continued, “I’ve known about this far longer than you have most likely.”

“You are friends with Steve Rogers?” You felt your jaw go slack. “And you never thought to mention this? What else are you hiding from me?”

“I don’t hide anything from anyone, it’s all about asking the right questions, which, again, you didn’t ask.” He corrected, pulling away from you to continue walking. “And I’m not just friends with Steve; I’m best friends. Which means it would suck if I was late. So, let’s get a move on, huh?”

You frowned, following him as a small crinkle appearing between your eyes in confusion. You didn’t say anything for a while, trying to figure out what to do with all of this information, any prep you had prepared went out the window as you glanced at your phone to see the time. It was around 5:30 which gave you a little under two hours to get ready and you still had to shower and blowdry your hair before you actually got dressed and did your hair and makeup. Wanda offered to come over and help, but you’d refused, afraid she’d go a little too heavy on the eyeliner.

“You might want this.” You jumped as Bucky passed you a helmet. “Also, don’t judge her for her age, okay? This baby’s a classic.”

You took in the vintage bike in front of you, it had been well cared for and clearly been made by it’s rider with a heavy dedication for authenticity. You felt yourself smile before forcing a stoic look on your face. It was beautiful, but you had already given Bucky the satisfaction of surprising you enough today. You weren’t new to riding, having been with Clint on many a ride before he traded it in for an actual car now that he was a future father, so you waited until he got on, wrapping your legs over the bike and placing your hands on his shoulders.

“Looks who’s all confident.” He said, taking a hand and moving yours around his chest. “But you’re gonna want to hold on somewhere a little more secure, Doll.”

You felt your face heat up at the pet name, shaking your head against his back as you held on tight. “Whatever you say, Evil Kenevil.”

He dropped you off at your apartment and darted off to get ready himself, barely telling you anything even though you were shouting all kinds of questions into his ear. Your body went into autopilot as your mind tried to go through the tangled web that was this lie. All just so you wouldn’t go on another blind date? So you could feel included? Is this what dating was now, having a thousand questions and not nearly enough answers about who you are with? It seemed so backward to you, but as you fit yourself into a classic black number, you couldn’t help but wonder if you should add a splash of color that would match his eyes. You were sure you had a few blue pieces to play around with. His eyes were always shifting from one shade to another so you’d have to make a guess, and-

Wait. What the hell were you doing?

You paused, your hand hovering over the pieces in question, not even realizing you’d moved to them with the thought. Why did it matter so much that you matched his eyes? If it was the quiet before the storm, or the blizzard of bottled emotions, you always found solace in them after a long day. You’d settle for drinking alone with some random RomCom if you knew he wasn’t working, not even bothering to go there unless you knew he’d be there with a heavy hand and light hearted banter. You knew this, but why did your friends need to see you matching him? Why was that so important?

Running a hand through your lightly curled strands, you let out a sigh that had been trapped there for weeks. It was a sigh that lifted one weight off your shoulders, but placed another on your heart. You’d been wrestling with why you would drop his name of all names to your friends, and now you knew why. It was a lie made of hope, and desire. A lie made out of a desperation for something hidden to be in view and true. You were in love with Bucky Barnes, a man who probably knew more about you than vice versa, and it took you pretending to date him to realize it.

You put on the barest strokes of make-up with shaking hands, your epiphany hitting you at the wrong time to conduct yourself properly. Looking in the mirror, though you’d hidden away all the shock and stress from the week, all you could see was this truth hidden in the lie. You grabbed a nip from your emergency stash in your clutch, barely having time to down it and throw away the shell when your doorbell rang. You closed your eyes, gave yourself a steadying breath, and opened it, left utterly breathless by the sight.

Bucky stood there, a beautiful compilation of straight lines and soft edges that blurred into each other in a wonderful contradiction. His hair had been swept back tidily, the strands tucked away from his face in a partial bun, and his tux was jet black against his skin. Like you, he’d gone classic black, and having no idea what you were wearing, donned a silver vest for the accent. It matched your bag and your jewelry so perfectly that you could swear he’d somehow seen what you were wearing. You smiled, probably brighter than you should have, and stepped out the door, the cool Brooklyn Air billowing around you softly.

“You clean up nice, Barnes.” You said, turning from him to lock up. “I take back what I said at the park today.”

He let out a shaky chuckle, was he as nervous as you suddenly were? Or were you imagining things? “You’re not looking to bad yourself, Doll.”

“Oh I do try,” You joked, carding your hands through your hair as if to fan it into his face. Deciding against it, you turned to find the street in front of you empty, he hadn’t ridden his bike here, but there wasn’t a card either. “So, are we walking over biking tonight or…?”

He smirked, this time the annoying shift in facial expression shaking you to your core. “If you’ll follow me, I’ll lead you to your carriage.”

Holding his hand out to you, you hesitantly put your hand into it, enjoying the comforting squeeze he provided. As you descended the steps, he pulled you closer, looping your hand through his arm as you rounded the corner. It took far too much free will to stop yourself from leaning into his warmth, the musk of his cologne inviting you closer. With the heels you had on, you rested at the perfect height to lean onto his shoulder, you mused, but he had stopped before you could test the theory.

Standing in front of you stood a Limo, with the girls hanging out of the moon roof to let out a bunch of “OOOOoooohs” at you or him, you couldn’t tell, clearly people had pregamed far harder than you did, something you’d be catching up on presently.

You looked from your friends, the guys visible as Vis stepped out to hold the door for the two of you, to Bucky. His expression, as always was unreadable, but there was something less confident in his stance that was absent at the park this afternoon.

“Not having second thoughts...are we, Buck?” You teased, pulling him behind you to get into the very crowded car. “You seem more surprised by this than I am.”

“More than likely because Peter texted him at the last minute.” Gamora stated, slipping down to meet us. Her hair had been pulled into a beautiful fishtail braid that covered the exposed shoulder on her one sleeved number that matched the purple of her hair beautifully. Her joyful face turned severe as she looked at her boyfriend. “Like right at his doorstep last minute.”

“Hey, I was I supposed to know he lived so close to Okoye?” Quill argured, his burgundy number complimenting her well, while also giving him a look that screamed 80’s nostalgia. I wasn’t even the one who got his address, it was Clint!”

You felt your eyes narrow as you looked to your neighbor. “And how did you get that information, might I ask?” Especially given that you didn’t even know what it was yourself.

Looking wearily to his own date, he straightened his grey suit and purple tie so that he didn’t have to meet anyone’s gaze. “I may have gotten it from a friend we have in common, aside from you, of course.”

You smirked yourself this time, making eye contact with Buck. “Nat.”

He rolled his eyes, rubbing at his scruff in thought. “Well, that’s either going to get her extra closing duties or dish detail...I’m not sure which yet, but I’m sure she’ll remember to not mess with me after.”

“Well, if everyone’s settled, I do believe we can head towards our dinner.” You shifted as Vis moved back into the seat where Wanda was waiting for him. “Shall we?”

“We Shall!” You all shouted, causing Bucky to shake his head at the group while you drove towards the restaurant that stood right next to the gallery. You were proud of being able to get reservations there so close to the opening, and had even gotten yourself seated right next to the exit, the glass room, looking over the gallery as you ate.

“So…” Laura started, reaching for her club soda. “Tell me, how did you two meet?”

“Oh well…” You rubbed at the back of your neck looking to your ‘date’ in hopes of being freed from an unplanned question. “I don’t know if it’s really a story to tell....”

“You only say that because it’s embarrassing on your end.”

He teased, launching into the story of how you two literally met, which you could only remember in the fuzziest of details on. You had been at the bar with Clint doing trivia or something, when you got bored with him flirting with Nat -a detail Bucky mercifully left out- that you’d moved to the back to hear the DJ better as well as get better drink service. You didn’t have work the next day, so you didn’t really care to think that you’d had enough, or pay attention to where you were going. That is until you were bumping into the bar, and grabbing the hand of the muscular man behind it to get a drink.

“She couldn’t even say what she wanted.” He remembered, glancing down at your reddened face with glee. “She justed wanted that drink named after a part of the state and had tea involved. And to ‘make sure it’s with the good stuff, since my friend’s paying’ I believer were her exact words.”

“Hey! If it was that late into trivia night, you can’t blame me for not being able to explain a long island iced tea!” You remembered this part of the night, but not much else. “Besides, if I remember correctly, it sparked a somewhat interesting game of twenty questions, right?”

“The one time in your life you asked the right questions, and I bet you can’t even remember the answers, can you, Doll?” Mischievous eyes glanced over your face and you felt your breathing stop slightly as he brushed a stray tendrel of hair from your face.

“You know I can honestly say that I can’t.” You muttered, turning yourself from him, suddenly very interested in your Alfredo dish. “Did I give away anything terribly embarrassing, as I’m sure you’ve memorized that night.”

This led him to detailing every answer to every question he gave, including some of the less than polite dinner conversation ones that sent your whole group into a frenzy. Everything from your worse Middle School Memory to your favorite position, and you couldn’t even remember how you had told these to a complete stranger at the time. The part that had you feeling the warmest however, wasn’t even the shame of your answers, but the confidence in which Bucky answered them all, his face taking on one of fond memory as he shared your life in a manner of twenty randomly strug queries. He didn’t make a single one up, though there were asides where others provided their answers, leaving you even more scandalized. You hadn’t even realized that the check for your food had come and gone, until you felt Bucky stand next to you.

“I do hate to break up with lovely chatter, but I have to meet the artist to save him from his own anxieties about tonight. So, if you don’t mind me stealing (y/n), we’ll meet you over there soon.”

“She failed to let us know you knew Mr. Rogers.” Wanda stated, smiling around her wine glass. “Though when it comes to you, she fails to tell us much.”

He brought your hand to his lips as he kissed it lightly before looping your arm through his, an easy smile crossing his face. “That’s because she knows I like to keep an air of mystery about me.”

You smiled, a shy smile that worked hard to cover up the blush that was threatening to appear from his easy displays of affection. “He also failed to tell me that we’d be meeting him beforehand. I should have prepared my tape recorder.”

“No reporting business here, (y/l/n) just a friend calming another as he makes his Debut.” He patt your hand lightly before leading you away. The others shooed you off with jeers and teases, which prompted Bucky’s next comment to hit you like a ton of bricks. “I’d say they’re falling for it pretty well, wouldn’t you?”

You bit your lip, the frown threatening to spill over pulling the skin between your teeth. “Yes, yes I’d say they are…”

The two of you walked quietly, him letting you go as soon as you were out of eyeshot. Part of you wished he hadn’t, but you wanted to respect his boundaries as well, it was the least you could do after the performance he’d just put on for you. Even though you were questioning each micro expression to see if he felt even slightly the same way about you. As always, you couldn’t read his face, and he had a smug air about him as if he knew and enjoyed it.

The walk to the Gallery was short, both of you let in as soon as Bucky gave his name. Most of the canvases were covered, or in the process of being uncovered, no one wanting pictures to be taken before the event. You kept your eyes Bucky’s shoulders, following him meekly until you reached the green room so to speak. There, you pressed yourself against the wall opposite him, not sure how far he wanted you to go with this. He didn’t seem to notice, and knocked on the door, lightly, and in a rhythmic beat that you could almost swear was morse code.

The door burst open and a frenzied man with sharp features and kind eyes opened the door. You knew from your research into the gallery opening that this was not Rogers, but his agent, and other best friend, Sam Wilson. Relief flooded his severe expression as he took in the sight of Bucky, giving a toothy grin that almost made you want to smile too.

“Oh thank God you’re here man, I don’t think I can say anything to make him sto-” He paused, as Bucky brushed past him. “And of course no time for pleasantries, just off doing your thing.”

He moved to close the door in front of him, but then his eyes swept towards you. His expression pinched in confusion, then furrowed in suspicion. Then he saw Bucky’s Jacket, which he had insisted on putting around your bare shoulders, and he gave a small, close lipped smile.

“You’re Barnes’ date to this thing?” You nodded trying to shrink into the identifying fabric. “Damn, I’m sorry for you then. Come on in, I’ll get you a drink while he does his magic.”

“Oh, I don’t know if I should-” You started, but stopped when Mr. Wilson suddenly appeared before you. Placing a comforting hand on your shoulder, he gave you that contagious grin you saw earlier, and you relaxed. “Is suppose it’s better than waiting for him alone in the hallway.”

“Yeah, don’t want Stark’s security guy to catch you, dude takes his job very seriously.”

“Wait, Stark’s? I thought that Stark passed on sponsoring Roger’s work? Said it was too old school for a tech mogul.”

“Well, gotta give him some credit, he brought a girl who knew what she was talking about for once.” Sam rubbed his chin in thought as he led you through the doorway. “Tony’s just big into the optics of things, he was always going to support our boy, but he wanted to generate a bit of buzz for it.”

“Only Tony Stark…” You mused, your lips twisting upward at the comparison to other girls Bucky has dated or taken to such events. “Though I suppose it makes sense for him to support the gallery when it’s from an investee of his father. Even if he isn’t open about it, the press loves to eat him alive for his Daddy Issues.”

“H-yeah they do.” Sam paused, tilting his head towards you as he called out to the two huddled figures by the bar. “Yo, Barnes, where did you find this girl, and better yet, how did you convince her to come as your date?”

“It’s a real funny story, Wilson.” Buck turned, his eyes narrowing at the joke being mad. Seeing the worry cross your face, he snapped his gaze back to Sam. “It’s on a ‘need to know’ basis, and sorry, but you didn’t make the cut.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re being paid to be here.” Sam muttered as soon as Bucky turned away. “I would hate for him to stoop that low. Even he has to have some lines.”

“Mr. Wilson, I do think I am offended by that comment.” You said, moving away from him with a frown. “I happen to be invited here under a press badge, which won’t be used until the event starts.” You added quickly, not wanting to seem like you were using Bucky to get an exclusive.

“Oh, now I see, he’s found someone who can match his wit, and use words in that stabbing way he does.” Sam gave a shrug, shaking his head. “I better not see anything from this interaction in whatever publication you work for.”

“Cross my heart.” You said, tracing your pinky in an X over your collarbone. You slipped your clutch out of Bucky’s jacket pocket and threw it towards Sam. “And have some collateral.”

“I don’t think that’s how that saying goes, but I admire your honesty.” A calm voice declared from next to you, making you jump. “Sorry miss...didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”

You turned only to find yourself looking into the near perfect blue eyes of the man of the evening himself, Steve Rogers. Though he was build the same way that Bucky was, he seemed to lack the confidence his friend had, slouching slightly as if to make his presence less intimidating. He was dressed in a way that mirrored Buck’s everyday look, but with softer colors and his hair was a striking blonde that swooped in a 40’s era fashion. Everything about this man gave off a comforting aura, but you could also feel the panic that he was trying to keep at bay.

“No, it is I who should be apologizing, Mr. Rogers, I’m intruding on a time meant for you and your friends. We don’t even know each other, and yet here I am, before your event even starts and-”

You paused as Bucky put a hand on your lower back, hovering next to you. Your nerves seemed to vanish in that moment, and all you could feel was his hand. The heat was so intense you almost jumped away from the burning sensation. You could feel your face flush, with embarrassment and the redistribution of that concentrated searing sensation. It was just a moment, but it felt like it had been stretched for days. Finally, after a year of seconds, he laughed, brushing his face next to your ear.

“I think he gets the point, Doll.” He murmured, the vibration of his voice dizzying as he rubbed your back soothingly. “Just take a breath, it’s fine.”

You shifted slightly, moving only until the very second your eyes met. Was this part of the act? Was he telling Rogers to just go with the lie in case they ran into your friends? Or was he lying to his best friend on your behalf. How far was this going to stretch. So many questions filled your head, and you started to choke on the air around you.

“(y/n)?” Bucky’s voice turned worried, but sounded distant as everything around you blurred. “(Y/N)!”

His hand slipped from your back as you crumpled on the floor, overcome with what you’re lie had done to everyone around you.

#stanclub2500 #writing challenge #bucky x reader #bucky au #fake dating au #mcu #marvel au #fanfic #writing #Scriptures of the Mystic #idk what to even tag this as #first writing challenge leggo #Hope you Like Amanda!#stanclub

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