#i plan on introducing new characters using the name tag lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr has been providing a Korean-language service since 2013.

#i plan on introducing new characters using the name tag lol

sheisjoeschateau · 1 year

Text

“You’re there. You were always there.”

A MULTI-PART FANFICTION SERIES, INSPIRED BY STRANGER THINGS, WRITTEN BY MISHA ST. JAMES.

Steve Harrington x fem!character. Childhood friends to lovers.

Slow burn. Angst. Romance. Smut with plot. Spin-off of pre-existing character.

A note from the writer:

—

Hello there darlings. What started off as a rough one-shot concept inspired by my rewatching Stranger Things season one for the billionth time evolved into my new favorite fan fiction series that I have written and created. This truly has become my baby. I said it in my original post when leaving a sneak preview of this work of mine…but I’ll say it again. This piece really has become my baby.

I overthink everything. I like to dive deep beneath the surface of things and overthink things into magnificent new realities. A seemingly random (almost forgettable) character in this show ended up making my mind spiral. As a writer, I believe that all characters in books and cinema have purpose. So naturally, my mind wanted to make something of a character that only appears at random yet crucial parts of the show’s story.

Nicole only appeared in season one and she was assumed to be a friend of Steve’s. To us, she was no one. Yet the Duffers introduced us to her as if she was an already established character in the series. Steve seemed almost too comfortable with her, like there was history between them. But we never explored that past the first season. That really started to bug me during this last binge-watch I had. So being the over dramatic writer that I am, I decided to make something of it myself. And damn, did it just…flow. I had no plans of making this such a big series but yeah, here we fucking are.

I gave her my last name because, well, *hair flip* I’m a narcissistic bitch like that when it comes to writing. ;) So in this series of mine, she is written Nicole St. James. I took some inspiration from The Breakfast Club because, ya know, Claire Standish? Molly Ringwald was an iconic redhead in the 80s film world, and that role in particular really seemed to fit how I wrote Nicole while fitting how she was presented in the show. I also did not want to give her a predictable personality either (because, again, as a writer I’m complex like that). So I did not take the typical “mean girl” route with her character because that honestly would just hit a wall. I wanted there to be a reason for her her in this show. I think the actress who played her did a good job with it, given there wasn’t much for her to work with.

I actually researched the actress a bit (Glenellen Anderson) and she’s actually very talented. She said something in one of her interviews about her role being small in ST but serving a crucial part in the first season of the series, given her being the reason that Steve finds out about Jonathan taking the pictures in his yard that night. Idk tbh I lowkey feel like a stalker who’s obsessing over an actor before they make it big so that one day I can be like YEAH I KNEW SHE WAS COOL WHEN SHE WAS STILL UNDERRATED. Lol ok moving on —

So I guess that’s it then. Time for me to shut up and just let the story I’ve created speak for itself. Thank you to some of my favorite writers on here and fellow Steve Harrington fanatics for inspiring me to release my own work into this universe. I’ve been very hesitant but I am glad to finally be doing it. I want to hear your thoughts and honest opinion while also asking kindly that you keep my emo heart in consideration when doing so 👉🏻👈🏻 If I forgot to tag you, I sincerely apologize. Please remind me in comments so that I can remember next time!

*disclaimer: this is based on pre-existing characters. in the show, nicole is portrayed by a redheaded white female actress so I based my writing around that. I do not discriminate against ANY race or preferred gender roles who choose to read and engage with my stories.

Enjoy and please leave feedback :)

x, MISHA

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY WORK ON ANY PLATFORMS WITHOUT PROPERLY CREDITING ME AS THE WRITER. I DO NOT GRANT PERMISSION FOR YOU TO CLAIM MY WRITING AND WORK AS YOUR OWN. YES, THIS IS A FAN FICTION BASED ON A PRE-EXISTING SHOW. HOWEVER THERE IS BASIC COURTESY TO BE EXPECTED IN THE WRITING COMMUNITY SO PLEASE RESPECT THAT. 🖤

Warnings: This is very much an 18+ written fan fiction series. Please read at your own risk. There is language, eventual mentions of blood and violence, drinking, sex, etc. There is also going to be mention of homophobia because the 80s were full of misogynistic men and women who were so unforgivingly dense (like fucking Tommy H. and Carol Perkins), so I want to address that as we eventually introduce Robin and Will into the series so that we can have our outstanding LGBTQ darlings welcomed and given the representation that they deserve.

—————

VOLUME I

“You’re there. You were always there.”

——————

Steve Harrington is six years old when he meets you: the girl who carries the other half of him with her.

He first spotted her playing outside alone, in the yard right across from his. She has a big treehouse, and no one but herself to share it with. And even though you seem content — he doesn’t know why, but it makes him sad. Watching you alone, in your own great big world, and no one begging to share it with you.

So after a week, he walks across the street to do something about it. He had watched you climb the little red ladder up to the top, making round trips with your backpack and various items.

The door to your treehouse is made of wood, painted pastel yellow with tiny butterfly stickers adorning it in random places. He hears you, talking to yourself the way you would talk if you had company. Maybe it’s to an imaginary friend. Or maybe, you just like to talk to yourself. Regardless, he knocks, and your gibberish ceases. Eventually, he hears your feet padding closer and closer. The door creaked open, revealing your curious grey eyes. Your red hair framed your small, heart shaped face, and the cream knit sweater that you wore looked almost as warm as you were.

“Hi,” Steve said. “I’m Steve. I live in that house over there.”

He pointed to the big house that loomed just across the street from you, and you briefly peeked out to look at it before looking back at him. Your full pink lips pressed into a shy smile.

“I’m Nicole,” you told him. “I’m six.”

“Me, too,” Steve tells you, proudly and with a dashing smile. But then he furrows his brow. “Why are you having a tea party by yourself?”

You look back into your little safe haven, following his gaze that stares at the eclectic assortment of tea cups and teapots set for multiple people when it was just you.

“Oh, well I just like to be ready,” you tell him. “In case I make any friends.”

Suddenly, you beam at him. Your usually shy demeanor dissolves as the gleam in your eye shines through.

“Do you wanna be my friend?” you ask Steve, who raises his eyebrows in response.

“Umm, yeah,” he finally responds, nodding his head. He stuffs one hand into the pockets of his little Levi jeans, fastened with a belt and all, already a charmer with his polo sweater. His other hand goes to push back some of his floppy chestnut hair. “Yeah, let’s be friends.”

You smile brightly. “Okay.”

And so you are, just like that. Friends. As you pour Steve a cup of chocolate milk, which you both confidently call hot tea without remark, you quietly hum to yourself.

Steve watches you, thinking you’re really pretty. Whenever you go to pass him a teacup, he takes it and quickly looks around, pretending he wasn’t just staring at you. He was in awe, really. Fairy lights were strewn about, with potted flowers in the windowsills. There was a table with lots of crayons, markers and gel pens, unfinished drawings scattered underneath them. A few completed drawings were hung up on the walls.

“Doesn’t it get scary up here all by yourself?” he asks you, genuinely curious.

As you set the little teapot back down, you shrugged your shoulders and shook your head. “Mm-mm,” you tell him. “I’m safe up here.”

You raise your teacup to your little pout to sip. You seemed so content all by yourself, as if the word ‘lonely’ was completely foreign to you.

Steve is six years old when he sees the reflection of his better self in you.

_______

Steve is 7 years old when he calls you his best friend.

You’re both playing at recess, roped into a game of duck-duck-goose. A little girl named Carol is sitting next to you, and Steve watches her roll her eyes and huff throughout most of the game. You’ve been smiling and laughing this whole time, except when she gets mad that you don’t pick her when you’re circling the group of kids and selecting someone to chase you.

“Nicoooole,” she whines.

You look at her as if you’re terribly afraid of what you could have done wrong. Carol crosses her arms, pouting.

“You’re supposed to pick me,” she complains.

“Oh,” you said, eyes wide. “I-I didn’t know you wanted me to.”

You shuffled your feet, your loafers twisting in the grass. Your ponytail blew in the breeze, along with the little flyaway baby hairs, and you looked a little embarrassed – almost ashamed – as the kid you had picked goes to sit in the assigned mush pot, since she couldn’t catch you.

“Well I do,” Carol said, matter of fact.

Steve grimaces. He hated seeing you so uncomfortable, and he really hated the way this girl was talking to you.

“Those aren’t the rules,” Steve argued, defending you.

You looked at Steve, a little relief becoming evident in your timid eyes.

“It’s not not in the rules,” Carol snarks back. Alright, now Steve is just plain bothered. This girl is annoying. And shamelessly entitled.

Carol looks back at you, glaring. “Pick me next time.”

You slowly sit back down next to her, sinking into the grass with a frown. You look so timid, sad even. Steve wanted to drag you across the circle to sit next to him, but he didn’t because you were suddenly standing again, stuttering a little “Oh,” realizing it was still your turn.

You cautiously made your way around the kids, placing your hand on top of everyone’s heads while saying “duck.” You started to sweetly grin as you approached Steve, who grinned back. You plopped your hand on top of his head, definitely messing up his hair, but he didn’t mind. It was you, and that was okay. Anyone else, no.

You fearfully dubbed Carol duck as you passed her, and her jaw clenched. She kept her arms tightly folded, watching you like a hawk. Steve narrowed his eyes at the snarky girl, already hating her. You patted his head again, “duck,” and Steve watched you curiously. Surely, you weren’t gonna pick her. Then again, he was afraid of what would happen if you didn’t.

But sure enough, you did pick Carol.

Goose.

Carol smirked so fast before bolting upright to chase you around the playground.

Steve was wildly chanting your name, along with the others.

“Go, Nicole!” he shouted, rooting you on. The others echoed his cheers. Your red hair flipped in the wind, ponytail bouncing behind you as you dashed back towards him in your school dress and loafers.

Carol looked so convinced that she was gonna take you down, but you were faster. She chased you with a devilish smile, which began to quickly dissolve once she saw you getting closer to homebase.

Suddenly, you plopped down beside Steve, out of breath. He and the others hurrayed, and you smiled as you panted.

But Carol scoffed, finally making it over to you all in the circle. She buckled over her knees, trying to catch her breath.

“Ha-ha, Carol,” some boy sneered jokingly.

“Yeah Carol, mush pot time,” Steve chimed in, a little too happily.

She scoffed again, louder this time. “No way, that’s not fair.”

Steve twitched incredulously. “W’you mean it’s not fair? She beat you.”

Carol’s jaw clenched again, and she stared daggers in your direction as she put her hands on her hips with a sour attitude. Steve cringed at the sight of just how nasty she looked, hating that it was being directed towards you. You shrunk back in your seated position on the grass, looking afraid. As Carol stalked over to sit in the middle of everyone, she kept staring at you with a look that could kill. You looked to the ground, and Steve kept his place next to you with a newfound wave of protection washing over him.

“Fine, well,” Carol sneered. “I’m not your friend anymore.”

Carol’s words were nothing but laughable. To any mature adult — hell, any human not in kindergarten — her remark would have meant nothing. But to you? A seven year old with a heart of gold, and the desire to just make everyone feel included? Her words were detrimental. They meant you were a horrible person. You were to blame.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t —“ you stumble, voice shaking. “I didn’t mean to, Carol, I-I…”

Carol whipped her head around to not face you. Your eyes were really sad now, and Steve’s heart sank. You brought your knees to your chest, and your grey eyes went a little glassy.

“I can switch w-with you,” you kept trying. “I’ll sit—”

“Shut up,” she barked. “I said you’re not my friend.”

“Yeah, well she’s my best friend.”

Steve’s words landed hard.

Carol whipped her head around again, now facing him. Everyone in the circle stared at the perfect-haired boy, including you. Sweet, innocent you. Your grey eyes peered over at him nervously. But there was a glint of hope in them, too, and if you weren’t so shaken up and close to crying you would have smiled.

Steve shot one last disgusted look in Carol’s direction, then rose to his feet. He reached out a hand, taking one of yours from your knees.

“C’mon,” he told you. “Let’s go play somewhere else.”

You blinked, but didn’t hesitate to follow his lead. You looked at him, giving him a small smile before looking downwards again. Steve wrapped his fingers around your hand so tightly, and your little heart fluttered. He was so warm, and you felt so safe.

Carol huffed, appalled. “Since when are you best friends with ugly redheads, Harrington?!”

Your heart sank even lower as you saw Steve’s eyes go fierce, his jaw clenched. He whipped around to look at Carol.

“The only ugly redhead here is you,” he shot back at her, and her jaw dropped. All the kids reacted, some laughing and some making amused remarks. But Steve didn’t pay them any mind as he stalked off with you, hand in hand.

You kept up with him as best you could with your little legs, feeling his grip on your hand tighten. He looked so mad, and you gulped.

“Steve?” you asked, voice quiet.

“Don’t listen to them,” he mumbled, shaking his head. He was staring straight ahead, mind racing. You could tell he was really upset, and it made you feel bad. “Or her. She’s a bitch.”

You gasped, eyes wide. “Steve!”

“What? She is.”

You were shocked to hear him curse. A few moments passed as you kept walking beside him, completely taken aback. But then, you felt a grin tucking your lips upwards. You stifled a giggle, and Steve turned to look at you in surprise. You glanced up at him shyly, really giggling now. His hard expression turned soft, a smile of his own creeping on his lips. Eventually, he laughed too.

The two of you made it over to the swingset, and Steve let go of your hand. You already missed his touch, the warmth of it. He walked to stand in front of the tire swing, nodding his head at you to join. You walked in front of the tire, reaching up to grip the chains from which it hung. Steve crossed over to stand behind you.

“Here,” he said, placing his hands on your small hips. You felt yourself flush, heart fluttering again. A whole flock of butterflies swarmed your stomach. Steve was happy you couldn’t see his face, because he felt himself flush too. He wasn’t sure why a surge of electricity shot through him as he lifted you up into the tire swing, but as you swung your legs into its open middle he could smell your lavender shampoo. It made him melt, and his hands lingered just a little longer than needed on the hips of your jeans. You were safely seated now – had been for a moment. Maybe two or three moments.

Steve cleared his throat, rounding the wheel to climb onto it and sit across from you. He tossed his feet into the hole, hands wrapped around the chains. You looked at him with that signature warm, slightly shy smile of yours, and he returned it. His smile was definitely more confident, though. Charming, even for a first grader.

Your feet dangled in the air, so Steve used his to touch the ground and help you both begin to swing. For a little while, you both just listened to the breeze. The leaves were beginning to turn brown, a sign that autumn was approaching. Kids laughed in the distance, buzzing with energy. You figured you both only had a little time left, before you would have to return to classes. But spending the last bit of playtime alone together was more fun than with the bratty kids you’d been spending time with earlier.

“Am I ugly?”

Steve had been watching a butterfly swarming nearby when you spoke. He almost hadn’t heard you, with the way you spoke so quietly. You sounded so small, fragile. You were staring at the ground, your loafers criss-crossed as the two of you swayed on the swing, looking so vulnerable. It made his heart split in two, the fire inside him burning again.

“No,” he said, a little too harshly. Your eyes shot up at him, a little surprised at his tone. But he continued with no filter, cause what 7-year-old boy has one of those? “Carol’s a liar. You’re not ugly. At all. You’re beautiful. Way more than her.”

Your eyes shone, and Steve watched your cheeks go rosy pink. A small but real smile found its way onto your little lips, and you looked at him so sweetly before you glanced back down at the ground. You kicked at the air, thinking to yourself. While you weren’t looking, Steve memorized each eyelash concealing your grey eyes and the curve of your eyebrows. He noticed that you only had a small sprinkle of freckles on your nose, but nowhere else on your porcelain skin. He felt his heart skip a beat, losing himself in you. God, you were perfect. How could anyone ever call you ugly?

“Wanna come over for dinner?” Steve asked.

You looked up at him, snapped out of your own thoughts. “Yeah. I’ll have to ask my mom and dad if that’s okay.”

“I think my mom is ordering pizza,” Steve continued, mouth watering. “Do you like pizza?”

“Yeah, but I like mushroom pizza.”

Steve scrunched his nose. “Eww, why?”

You giggled, shrugging. “They’re really good!”

“Bleck.”

“You should try them,” you insisted.

Steve would normally say something along the lines of hell no, but to you? That was impossible. He pursed his lips, nose still scrunched and shivering at the thought of eating fungus on pizza. But he relented, sighing.

“Alright, I guess,” he said, kicking to swing you both again. “But if I don’t like it, you have to help me with the dishes.”

You smirked. “Deal.”

You both swayed, listening to the trees rustle. Steve watched the teacher approaching everyone from her perch, knowing she was about to whistle for everyone to make their way back for school.

“Hey Steve?”

He turned back to look at you. ‘Hmm?”

You paused, contemplating your words. But then you gave him the kindest smile in the world, and it rendered Steve speechless as you spoke with more certainty than you had all day.

“You’re my best friend, too.”

__________

As the next few years went by, you and Steve continued to become a permanent part of them for each other.

Your parents had easily become friends with his parents, making it a regular thing to have each other over for holiday parties and gatherings, or even just casual dinners. Both your parents and his were too wealthy for their own good, too caught up in their own worlds to really pay either of you any mind. Sure, they knew that the two of you were friends. Close even. But they didn’t really know much beyond that. Steve’s parents were just glad to know that their kid had something to do other than bother them every day after school and on weekends, and your parents were so used to you playing by yourself that they didn’t really notice much difference. Your families both lived in a swanky neighborhood, so becoming acquainted with one another hadn’t been something that required much consideration on their part. They ran in the same circles. Timeshare mutuals, and plastic veneer smiles who shared travel itineraries for whatever bougie seminar was happening that month, or the next.

Until you came along, Steve had been a lonely kid destined for a life of abandonment. Once Chet Harrington had been given a son by Paula, he stopped the bloodline there. “Good,” he’d remarked. “Someone to carry on the family name.” As far as he was concerned, that’s all his kid’s purpose served. Take over the family business, get a trophy wife and repeat the cycle. Siblings? Why bother? One kid was enough to handle. They cost money and time, and the Harringtons didn’t just hand those out like charity. If it weren’t so heavily frowned upon, or a threat to their reputation, they wouldn’t have even bothered with hiring a babysitter. It was mainly Paula Harrington who insisted on it. After all, she did love her son. She just wasn’t a nurturing mother, giving her care to her pearls and pristine walk-in closet maintenance far more than her little boy, so her love was never felt by her son. As far as Chet was concerned, once Steve turned 10 years old, a babysitter was no longer a needed expense. Because that’s all it was to him: an expense. So come the double digits, and Steve would just be a kid left to fend for himself, all alone in his great big house with no parents.

But so were you. You, Nicole St. James, were just as doomed as he was. Your parents were more aloof than anything. They weren’t quite as cold as the Harrington’s. But they weren’t all that warm either. Ken had impregnated his wife, Alison, on a spontaneous trip overseas. You’d been the result of a heavy night of gin, blue curacao and dirty talk. Filthy sex and silky sheets in a Five Seasons were the blissful combination the night that you were conceived. It had been a surprise for both of them, when that little strip read positive with a pink stripe. They’d made a fuss of it, planning a frivolous baby shower with tons of guests and a plethora of gifts for their baby girl on the way. They had found out the gender as soon as they could, not wanting any more surprises. Your arrival had been a very anticipated event, so when you had been actually brought into the world the excitement fizzled away. It seemed more exciting to celebrate having you, rather than actually having you. Granted, your parents loved you. You were spoiled with toys, new clothes every week, and social outings. Not that you ever asked for any of those things. The only thing you ever sought out from them were hugs, which they half-heartedly returned with barely a fraction of the love that radiated through your tiny arms.

You had your mother’s hair, though hers was more auburn while yours was pure fire. And you had your father’s grey eyes. But what you had that they didn’t, was your spirit. They were boisterous, loud and shallow. You were quiet, shy and soft. You radiated only genuine kindness, oftentimes just observing your surroundings and being in your own little world. Your parents were party animals, constantly busying themselves with events and planning vacations. It’s why they busied you with the same types of things by default, assuming you to be just like them. Constantly wanting company, people to distract you and noise to drown out the silence. But you weren’t like them. You loved the silence, the chirping of the birds and the whoosh of the breeze. You loved books instead of toys, and gardening tools instead of dolls. Not that they paid attention to that, though. Instead, they just bought you whatever the flashiest new item was. Or, if you just so happened to take a liking to something, the St. James’ bought it to appease you quickly and not bat an eye. Screw sentimentality, if it made you happy then by all means you could have it.

The only reason they had a treehouse built for you, was because Ken St. James had discovered his daughter’s makeshift fort outside. It consisted of amateruly constructed cardboard boxes, with random blankets propped up on sticks. He and Alison had just gotten home from a business trip, and your aunt had shrugged her shoulders when they asked how her stay had been. She told them you had spent the whole time outside, playing in your disastrously built utopia. Your parents didn’t give much thought to it, hiring a few carpenters to come and build you a proper treehouse for your sixth birthday. You had beamed, telling them thank you a thousand and one times. They’d thought it was cute, at first. Until one night, as they got ready for a gala, you had gone to hug your mother as she coated her lips with a red rouge. She’d yelped, surprised at your sudden touch.

“I love you, mommy,” you whispered to her.

“Nicole, darling, what are you–” she stammered, one hand holding her lipstick and the other swatting at you.

“For my treehouse,” you continued. “I love it.”

“Oh, psh, honey,” she scoffed wryly, slowly peeling your little arms off of her shoulders. “Enough now, you’ve thanked us too many times to count. It’s a little exhausting.”

She had chuckled humorlessly, resuming her pampering. You had watched her reflection, and if she’d cared to look at yours instead of her own she would have seen the look of longing and saddened wonder that filled your eyes. She would have seen the way your full lips parted, no more words being spoken. And she would have seen you quietly pad your way back out her bedroom door, where you made your way back to your room.

Instead of finding love through your parents, you found it in your treehouse. You found it in the swaying of the trees, and the butterflies that swarmed your front yard. You found it in yellow crayons, and glitter gel pens, and the weeds you insisted were flowers as you pulled them and placed them into little pots. You found love in the changing of seasons, and the twinkle lights that glowed at night in your safe haven. You found love within yourself, and you found love in Steve Harrington.

The bike rides down the neighborhood streets, and down to the convenient store to buy snacks with your little weekly allowances. The swapping of ice cream cones on hot summer days — when Steve noticed the way you eyed his chocolate waffle cone, as he secretly wanted your strawberry sugar cone instead. The afternoons into nights spent in your treehouse together, playing make believe and coloring. The fairy wands and pirate swords, and the battle of neverland that you fought side by side in your tulle dress while Steve wore a green polo and birthday hat with a red feather crudely taped to the side of it. The field trips and summer camps with your classmates, always sitting beside each other on the bus and whenever you all had to eat in between activities. Lord knows, if you two were sat apart, one of you would complain until it was made right. The innocent secrets you told each other, and the way you both laughed at the silliest of things until your sides split. The countless hours that you spent at his house, no parents or nanny in sight, playing hide and seek. One time, it took him so long to find you that he panicked. He was pretty sure you had actually disappeared for good, and his breathing quickened. It took him calling out your name several times, until eventually it sounded like he was blubbering. You had made your way out of his closet, where you’d proudly buried yourself underneath all of his clothes. Steve saw you crawling out with a worried look on your little face, saying his name in such an assuring tone. He had run over to you and hugged you tight, sniffling. But when he pulled back, he’d already roughly rubbed his eyes so that no tears spilled. The two of you resumed playing like nothing had happened.

Most days were spent in your treehouse, except when a thunderstorm was coming. That’s when the two of you would throw a bunch of blankets and pillows together in his or your room, making a fort. A shelter, if you will. The thunder rolled as the lightning streaked across the sky. One night, you had both curled up with a big bowl of popcorn, boxes of cereal, pop tarts, sodas and candy, no trace of actual substance in sight. You had flashlights and cards, playing Go Fish and War. At some point, Steve had asked if you believed in ghosts. You shuddered, nodding your head yes. His eyes had gone wide, clutching the blanket tighter around his shoulders. You pulled the pillow in your arms closer to your chest, your grey eyes just as wide as his.

“Do you think…” Steve had started, his voice soft. He gulped, a thought crossing his mind. “D’you think we’ll ever have to fight monsters? You know, like aliens or something?”

You gulped, too. “I dunno,” you started, voice soft like his. “I think that monsters in books and movies are really scary. I don’t wanna fight them in real life.”

Steve nodded, thinking. “Well, if we ever do… I’ll protect you. Promise.”

You hugged your pillow tighter, your worried eyes shining and a shy smile meeting your lips. “You will?”

“Yeah,” Steve assured you, with absolute certainty. Because he meant it with all of his heart. No monster would ever hurt you. No ghost would haunt you. And nothing would ever take you away. “I always will.”

CRACK. That’s when lightning struck the electricity box, and all the power in Steve’s house went out. You screamed, and Steve gasped. He grabbed one of the flashlights, shuffling his way over to you. He wrapped the blanket around both of you, as the two of you huddled closer together underneath the pillow fort you both built together.

“S’okay, I’m right here,” he soothed you, feeling you shiver against him. Your little arms were wound around his torso, your grip fierce. He clung to him with so much trust, melting into him, even though you were scared. He melted right back into you, holding you close. “I got you.”

The winds howled outside, thunder still rolling and lightning flashing around you both in the quiet, still room outside of the walls of blankets enveloping you both.

“Do you think there’s a monster out there?” you asked him, your frightened voice the cutest whisper in the world.

“Nah,” Steve said, but even he wasn’t so sure. He couldn’t be scared, though. He had to make you feel safe. “But if there is, it won’t get you. I won’t let it.” He rested his chin on top of your head. “Not ever.”

Even at nine years old, Steve knew he would never break a promise that he made you. You did, too.

And right now, as you turned ten years old, you were surrounded by a bunch of faces. Most of them, you didn’t really know. Some were kids from school, and others were their parents. Lots of random adults, buzzed with champagne and spirits. But as you sat in a chair behind your pink birthday cake, all aglow with ten gold candles, there was one face you recognized and loved. Steve’s.

He grinned at you, his smile growing more charming each day. His hair was still iconic, always styled just right. He wore a preppy polo with a collar, and khaki slacks with nice shoes. His brown doe eyes shone in the candlelight – and even though the others spoke loudly over each other, he spoke so that only you could hear him.

“Make a wish, Nic,” he said, seated right next to you.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY GIRL!” your mom squealed, the inebriation evident in her voice.

“Wait, honey, wait,” your father chuckled, gripping his whisky. “We gotta sing first.”

“Damn,” Mr. Harrington remarked, also laughing. “These women just don’t have any patience, do they?”

The two men snickered, and Mrs. Harrington playfully scoffed and swatted at them before wrapping an arm around your mother. She, too, was a bit tipsy.

“Alright,” she purred, a smirk on her lips as she raised her glass. “All together now.”

And so the song began. Happy Birthday rang all throughout the house, echoing off the dining room walls of your childhood home. Kids sang with enthusiasm, while adults sang in a million different pitches. Some voices were happy, others were bored, and a few were drunk. But the only voice you listened to was your best friend’s, who sat by your side with one arm resting on the table and the other perched on the back of your chair. You beamed at him, and he beamed at you.

Steve swore in that very moment, that you were perfect. The way your little baby hairs still escaped your hair that was pulled into a little half-up do. You were wearing the simplest, most feminine pastel yellow dress. The sleeves had tiny ruffles on it, your shoulders peeking out and arms bare. Your face was clean of any makeup, aside from the white face painted butterfly wings around your grey eyes. It was so whimsical, making you look even more like a princess than you already were. Steve watched you look around the room, enchanted by your enchantment. And as your gaze circled back to meet his own, he smiled bigger. Your smile grew, too, and the crowd of people in the room ceased to exist. You’d both forgotten them, until they started to cheer wildly as your birthday song ended.

“Nicky!” your mother squealed.

God, you hated when she called you that. You broke your gaze from Steve, looking at her.

“Come on, baby, make a wish!”

You looked back down at your candles, scrunching your eyes shut and thinking. Steve’s eyes never left you, entranced with the way you looked in the orange glow of the birthday candles. Selfishly, he made a wish too. It wasn't his birthday, but it didn’t have to be. Steve wished for all your wishes and dreams to come true. He wished for this to be the best year yet, for you and for him. He wished for you to never move away, to always be his best friend across the road. He wished for you to never outgrow him, or want to be better friends with somebody else. He wished it would always be like this, that no matter what changes came he would always have you. He wished that he knew what you were wishing for, and he wished for you to be wishing for him.

Little did he know, he was your only wish. It was already true, and as you blew out the candles, you wished for it to always be true.

________________

Steve was twelve when you saw him cry for the first time.

His parents had gotten his report card, appalled at the C and D despite all other A’s. Paula Harrington was disappointed and embarrassed, but Chet Harrington? Well, he was furious.

“I didn’t raise someone stupid,” he spat at Steve, who leaned against the kitchen counter with his head down, shoulders slumped and arms crossed. They had been arguing over this for at least thirty minutes.

Steve swallowed. “I’m not stupid, dad,” he murmered, voice defeated.

“Sorry, what was that?” his father egged him on, voice bitter. There was zero trace of kindness or understanding, and Steve’s mother could only watch them from the dining table with a pathetic pout.

Chet stepped closer to his son, sneering. “Speak up, son. Couldn’t hear you.”

“...said I’m not stupid,” Steve tried again, hating the way his voice still shook despite talking a little louder.

“Stop being a little bitch and look at me,” his dad spat, the air escaping his lips and onto Steve’s face.

“Chet, please –” his mother tried, pathetically.

Steve felt the hurt inside of him bubbling into anger, unable to control himself.

“I said I’m not stupid!” He shouted back, having taken enough of his father’s bullying for the past thirty minutes. The past month. Several months. Years.

But he was only rewarded with a slap to the face, so sharp it felt like a knife. If it weren’t for the ringing in his ears, he would have heard his mother gasp. The impact had made him turn a full 180 degrees, and he was stunned into silence as tears sprang to his eyes from the harsh blow. Slowly, he turned back towards them. He first made eye contact with his mother, whose hands were clasped over her mouth. Eventually, he made eye contact with his father, who seethed and showed no sign of remorse.

“Your report card says otherwise,” he slithered. He slowly backed up towards the kitchen table, taking his seat again. He took a sip of his brandy, clicking his tongue at the taste. “Raise your voice at me again, and you’ll see stars next time.”

Steve could hear his own breathing, could feel the anguish that spread throughout his mind, body and soul. His heart ached, and he longed for comfort. But the two people who sat in front of him wouldn’t offer him that. Nobody would.

Except you.

So he bolted his stairs, seeking privacy so that the unshed tears threatening to spill over wouldn’t show his weakness any further. He held them at bay, biting his lip so hard he was pretty sure it would bleed soon. He ran into his room, throwing open his drawers as he breathed hard. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, his only thoughts consisting of getting a change of clothes and heading over to you. He threw a backpack over his shoulder, locking his bedroom door and sneaking out his window.

He knew the route all too well by now, having done it since he was six. He crawled down the side of the house, walking towards the house next to his and the one after that. Then, he made his way across the street, where he walked behind one house, then two, and then made it to yours. This way, his parents wouldn’t see him heading to your house out their window.

Once he was there, he climbed up the side of your home where your window was dimly lit by the glow of your bedside lamp. Good, he thought. You were home. His heavy heart swelled with relief, and he mounted the side of the house and up onto the roof the way he always did when sneaking into your room at night.

Your window was cracked open, always ready for him. The curtains were drawn, and he saw you sitting on your bed, reading a book. Your brows were closely knitted together, your eyes intensely focused on whatever you were reading. One leg was crossed over the other, glasses perched on your nose and hair tucked back into a messy topknot.

Steve swallowed back the large lump in his throat and tapped the windowpane, just enough for you to hear him. Your head snapped up, pulled out of your bookworm trance. Grey eyes met brown, and you went to smile until you saw the distress in his features. You set your book down and removed your glasses, padding over to him, quietly but quickly. A large t-shirt hung to your thighs, landing just above your knees and accentuating your slim legs. You pulled the window all the way open, looking at him with the most concerned expression.

“Steve?” you asked, voice gentle.

The dam broke. Steve couldn’t hold it in any longer, any plans of trying to do so completely demolished as a choked sob left his lips. His shoulders heaved forward, and you felt your heart break at the sight. This was new. This was very new. You’d never seen him like this.

Without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around him tightly. He gripped you back like a lifeline, crying into your shoulder. You stayed there for a moment, before pulling back to bring him inside. He clung to you, not wanting to let go, but when he realized that he was still in the window frame he allowed you to move away from him and followed you inside to stand behind you. You quickly closed the window, turning to face him again.

He was a good several inches taller than you, so you looked up at him. Your expression was so soft, so full of empathy it only made him break down more. You wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your cheek to his chest. He buried his face into your shoulder again, weeping until the sleeve of your shirt was soaked through. He shook in your embrace, the sound of his cries the saddest sound you had ever heard. You stroked the nape of his neck, fingers playing with his hair. His arms around you were so tightly wound, you thought he might never let go. And you didn’t want him to, so neither of you made a move to do so. You just stood there, holding one another, letting Steve cry until he couldn’t any more.

After a while, you slowly pulled back to look up at him. Steve’s brown eyes were bloodshot, his stylish hair ruffled and messy – yet somehow, still perfect. Even when he was sad, he was still so pretty.

He rubbed at his snot sodden nose with his elbow, fruitlessly trying to wipe it away. He sniffed roughly, not used to being the one who needed comforting. But as you reached up to thumb away a few of his tears, he didn’t pull away. Anyone else, he wouldn’t have let seen him like this, let alone touch him. But you were the exception to every rule, and he wouldn’t dare pull away from you. Not when you were so understanding, not casting any judgment towards him. Any walls he had built around himself in front of others, he let come down in front of you. Because when he was with you, he didn’t have to be strong, or brave, or cool. He could just be Steve, a boy with big hair and an even bigger heart.

You smiled at him gently, waiting for him to speak. He sighed.

“My dad said I was stupid,” he started, voice shaky. “He said I – he said…”

Your small smile faded, your eyes boring into his. He looked shown, shuddering a breath. You took his hands in yours, guiding him to the bed. You both sat down, your hands still intertwined. You sat facing him, your legs crossed in Indian-style. He mirrored you, matching your position and staring down at your dainty fingers in his. You wore a few rings, minimal sterling silver bands. Steve always loved how they made your piano fingers look even longer, delicate. He twiddled in thumbs around yours, absentmindedly tracing shapes as he spoke.

“They saw my report card,” he continued, sniffling. “I got a C in math. And a D, i-in science.”

You furrowed your brows, still listening. You wanted to say so much already, but you will yourself to stay quiet and let him finish. He needed to let it out.

“It didn’t matter about the other grades. Dad, h-he just cared about the bad ones. Like no matter what, I’m j-just a failure.”

You shook your head, not having any of it. “Steve,” you started, voice firm but kind. “You’re not stupid. And you’re not a failure. You’re smart, and you study just as hard as anyone else does.”

He sniffled again, eyes still downcast. “Doesn’t matter,” he mumbled. “S’not enough.”

“You’re enough.”

That made him look up at you, his sad glassy eyes meeting your fierce ones. The love that poured from your grey irises shot straight into his brown ones, and he knew you were being as honest as they come.

“He hit me, Nic,” he murmured, tasting bile as he admitted it.

You felt a wave of emotions hit you all at once. Anger. Heartbreak. Anguish. Rage. Pain. And love. So, so much love for this beautiful boy, who you got to call your best friend. The thought of his dad hitting him – anyone hitting him – made you see red. He didn’t deserve this. Any of this. And as you noted a slightly red mark on his cheek, you felt your soul split open. Tears of your own sprang to your eyes, and you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching a hand up to cup his cheek.

“Steve, I’m so sorry,” you whispered.

His face crumpled, and you pulled him in close as he started to cry again. You silently cried too, grateful that he couldn’t see you. He kept one hand in yours still, resting on your laps. The other wound around your waist, the hand you had placed on his cheek now draped around his neck. You lightly swayed, allowing the silence and Steve’s breathy cries to wash over you both.

Eventually, Steve’s tense shoulders sagged and his cries subdued. He relaxed into you, and you could tell that sleep was finding him.

“Hey,” you murmured into his neck. “Let’s get some sleep.”

Steve slowly pulled back, watching you pull the covers down. Normally, it would be weird. A boy, watching his female friend offer to sleep in the same bed without their parents knowing. But you’d both fallen asleep together so many times over the years. In your treehouse, on his bedroom floor, on the couch while watching a movie. Even in the same bed, when studying or doing homework. Now was no different, as far as you both were concerned.

So as you nestled yourself underneath the covers, gesturing for him to follow, Steve didn’t hesitate to crawl in next to you. He pulled the covers over the two of you as you turned out your light, only the moonlight illuminating your face in the dark room. You both laid on your sides, facing each other. You placed a hand on the mattress, in the small space between you both, palm up. He placed his hand on top of yours, wrapping his fingers around yours. He sighed deeply, eyes fluttering shut.

“You can stay here anytime you want,” you whispered beside him, your eyelids drooping but still watching him.

Steve squeezed your hand tightly. He felt an overwhelming sense of relief, his heart swelling with love for you. He peeled his eyes back open, taking in your beautiful face. If there was an angel watching over him, it had to be you. God couldn’t have possibly given him a better one, because you were it.

“I don’t wanna go back,” he whispered back, timid. “Unless you’re there.”

You sighed, nuzzling into your pillow with a little nod. “Okay, then you won’t.”

Both your voices were tired, but the words you shared with one another held so much truth and conviction. Because you meant what you had said. Steve never had to spend a single night alone in his great big house, whether or not his parents were there. You stayed there, or he’d stay with you. It became an unspoken routine, refuge.

No matter what pain life threw his way, or yours, you both knew that so long as you had each other, it would be okay.

____________

But one morning, several months later, Steve’s mom found you in his bed.

The two of you were sound asleep, her son starfished across the mattress and you curled up into a little ball. At first, Mrs. Harrington just froze. How long had this been happening? That’s the question that sprang her into action. Her motherly instincts decided to actually make an appearance, storming over to the bed to jostle you awake.

“Nicole St. James, what in blazes are you doing here?!”

Your eyes shot open, finding Mrs. Harrington’s frantic eyes. She had a firm grip on your arm, and you shrunk deeper into the mattress.

“Steven,” she said through gritted teeth. “Wake up.”

Steve stirred, not really waking up. Such a boy. A tornado can’t wake boys when they’re not even thirteen yet.

You, on the other hand, were wide awake. Groggy, but alert. You felt your cheeks flush crimson, knowing this looked bad. Sure, at twelve years old you’re not fully aware of just how bad this actually looked. But a boy and a girl, sharing a bed, behind their parents’ backs? That had trouble written all over it. As far as any adult was concerned, that screamed bad news. And nine times out of ten, it was often a result of youthful scandal.

But for you and Steve? It was simply comfort. Safety. Codependency.

That’s not how his mother saw it, though.

“Steven!”

He bolted awake, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. When he looked over to find you staring at him, your grey eyes terrified and lean arm in his mother’s manicured grip, he began to come to. The reality set in, and Steve felt his chest clench. You both had been caught.

His mother’s eyes held a fire that he had never seen before. Even in all her beauty – loosely curled blonde hair, wispy bangs and silky white blouse to match her high waist trousers – she looked intimidating. Steve realized at that moment, he had never truly felt intimidated by his mother until right now. She looked absolutely furious, appalled even. Her lips were pursed together into a tight, thin line, and by the looks of her clenched jaw he could tell she had gritted her teeth.

Steve swallowed, feeling the panic seep in. “Wait, mom –”

“Not a word,” she cut him off. “I didn’t raise you like this.”

You didn’t raise him at all, you thought to yourself. If it weren’t for the fear you held, you would have had to really fight to stay quiet. But as Mrs. Harrington kept going, you couldn’t have found your own voice if you tried.

“Bringing girls up to your room to sleep with them? What filthy movies have you been watching? Did you… Oh my god, did you find one of your father’s?!”

Steve’s eyes went wide with horror. “What?! No! Mom, please –”

“I don’t know what vile things you’ve had put in your head, Steven. By your friends, your father, porn or whatever the hell you kids are doing these days. But this. Ends. Now.”

Your terror-stricken eyes expression became all the more terrified, and as Steve’s mother wrenched you off the bed you let out the most heartbreaking little yelp. Steve felt his heart jump into his throat.

“MOM, PLEASE, DON’T –”

“And you,” she turned to face you, dragging you beside her out of his bedroom. “You’re a young lady. You should know better.”

You felt absolutely sick to your stomach. Hearing Steve’s mom accuse you of being capable of doing something so grimey – of being a slut – made you feel so small. And Steve’s panicked shouts weren’t helping.

“But I–I,” you stuttered, your voice so shaky and low it was almost inaudible. How could she think you and Steve would do such a thing together? It wasn’t like that. He was your best friend. Your safe haven. Your favorite person in existence.

Mrs. Harrington slammed Steve’s bedroom door shut, trapping his shouts. She was dragging you down the stairs as you heard him fling the door back open and barrel after you. She whipped around, waving a finger up at him.

“You stay right there,” she ordered him, voice fierce and booming. Then, as she kept going, she told you, “I’m taking you straight home to talk to your parents. This friendship is over.”

The way that Steve wailed ‘no,’ had to have been the most excruciatingly painful sound you had ever heard. Tears sprang to your own eyes, and you didn’t even try to conceal the whimpers that fell from your lips. Mrs. Harrington couldn’t have cared less, ripping her car keys off the wall next to the front door.

“Mom, wait, just wait!” Steve’s voice was strained, but desperate.

You tried to look back at him, only catching glimpses as you were being hauled away by his mother. You could see the petrified anguish etching Steve’s features, his tired eyes practically popping out of their sockets. His hair in complete disarray, his sweatpants hung low and his t-shirt all twisted. He was the most beautiful mess, and you were being taken away from him.

“Not another step, Steven Harrington!” his mother barked, voice shrill.

Steve came to an abrupt halt on the sidewalk, and even though he was a good distance away now you could see his shoulders shaking and bottom lip trembling. Your heart thudded in your chest, and you felt like throwing up.

Paula Harrington was now standing next to her car, opening the passenger side door. No way in hell was she going to march you over to your house, directly across the street, just so that all of your neighbors could watch and stare from inside their respective homes. She ushered you in quickly, giving you no choice but to obey. You crawled into the front seat, pulling your knees to your chest, crying into them. You felt so ashamed and embarrassed – and for what? Falling asleep next to your best friend? Yeah, that’s exactly what you had done that caused this twisted guilt to stir up inside you.

“I’m taking you straight home,” she told you, cold and fierce. “And you’re not to step foot over here again. Do you understand?”

You bit into your knees, clenching your eyes shut in shame. Mrs. Harrington slammed the door shut, making you jump. The sound, along with her words, rang in your ears.

This friendship is over.

Your mind was reeling, stomach churning. You clutched your legs, tugging them impossibly closer to your chest and you rocked in the front seat of Paula’s car. You looked out the window, watching Steve run towards you. His mom held out a hand, and you could hear their entire conversation through the thin glass window as you sniffled.

“Mom, nothing happened,” Steven insisted, voice broken.

“You expect me to believe that?!” Mrs. Harrington shot back at him with zero sympathy. “How many times has this happened, Steven?”

Steve raked his fingers through his chestnut hair, distressed and breathing hard. “You don’t understand, we just fell asleep –”

“How many?”

“Whenever I can’t sleep!” Steve screamed at her, and his mother visibly pulled back. “Because y-you –” Steve gasped for air. “D-dad, it’s just –” Steve pressed his lips together, words failing him, so painfully frustrated with himself and this entire situation. “God, it’s nothing, Mom. Nic comes over here, and s-sometimes I go there –”

“You sleep at her house?” his mother interrupted, shocked.

“It doesn’t matter!” Steve cries. His mother is now frozen, taken aback by the hysteria in his voice. As her son stares back at her, tears threatening to spill over and lips parted, she finally shakes her head.

“You’re almost thirteen years old, Steven,” she says, voice low and bitter. “You’re too damn old to be having little sleepovers with girls. You know how this looks. I know what you were doing.”

“No, you don’t,” Steve shook his head, violently.

“Yes. I do.”

“NO, YOU DON’T.” Steve wailed, completely falling apart. “You don’t know anything. And I don't care that you don’t, because Nicole knows and that’s all I care about.”

His mother gawked at him, and Nicole could tell that his words stung her a bit. Still, Paula stood her ground.

“Well whatever you two are doing, it’s over,” she said, coolly.

Steve’s face crumpled. “No, please –”

“You’ve got plenty of guys you can hang out with, Steven,” Mrs. Harrington said, tongue sharp. “They can sleep over whenever you want. Go call them.”

Steve flung his arms up in the air, running his hands through his hair again as he whirled around in a full 360 before facing her again.

“I don’t care about them –”

“Start caring,” she said simply, turning to walk towards the car again. She was approaching the driver’s side to open her door.

“Mom, no, NO!” Steve lurched forward, trying to grab her car keys. His mother jumped back, reacting just in time. Her reflexes served her justice as she whipped the keys out of his reach.

“What is the matter with you?!” Paula looked absolutely stunned now.

But Steve wouldn't listen, still trying to wrench the keys from her hands. They rustled, arms and limbs tangled as they both struggled to overpower the other. Paula stuttered verbal protests, while Steve whimpered and grunted. You couldn’t help but feel your heart swell, despite how utterly broken you felt. Because Steve wasn’t letting you slip away that easily – and while you were too timid to speak up for yourself, he wasn’t. He was always the brave one. At school. Whenever you fell off your bike, or slipped on the playground. Nobody could pick on you, so long as Steve was there. Not even his parents could, apparently.

Eventually, Mrs. Harrington got the upper hand. No doubt due to the fact that Steve wouldn’t actually be physically aggressive towards his own mother. She tugged hard, causing Steve to lose his footing and stumble back onto the ground. He collapsed, landing on his side and barely catching himself. Paula gasped, watching him make a harsh impact with the concrete sidewalk.

“Steve, baby –” she breathed, noting the bad scrape on his arm.

Steve began to convulse with ugly sobs, curling in on himself. He gritted his teeth, lips stretched thin. Mrs. Harrington stared in horror for only a moment before kneeling beside him to assess the damage. She might not have been a warm person, but she wasn’t a violent one either. That was all his father. She didn’t believe in putting a hand on her kid. She just didn’t do anything to stop it when Mr. Harrington did.

“Give me your arm,” she said, her voice shaking now.

“Please, mom, please,” Steve bawled, pulling away from her and cowering back. Paula noted the way her son wouldn’t look at her now, and she hated it. It reminded her of the way he was around his father. And she was not his father. She was hardly a mother, but more importantly she was not his father. She swallowed hard, pride overcoming any deeply buried traces of warmth and love within her.

“Listen to me,” she tried again, voice still shaking. “Give me your arm.”

But Steve just unabashedly wailed, now feebly sitting up. Tears streamed down his cheeks, drops of blood forming on his freshly scraped arm. The guttural cries escaping his lips were so agnonized, Paula couldn’t understand it. She had never seen him like this. He just kept murmuring unintelligible things that sounded like don’t, don’t, don’t, and please, no, and pathetically trying to get the keys from her. His efforts were futile, but he wouldn’t back down.

“Steven,” she said, incredulously. “Stop.”

“Mom, she’s the only friend I have.”

Steve’s tortured words landed hard, on both you and Paula. They hit you like a freight train, piercing your heart.

Steve cried and cried, finally looking at his mother again as he admitted this treacherously painful confession in a wrecked voice. Paula couldn’t believe it. There was no way that Steve didn’t have friends. She had seen him. At his games, and social gatherings. He got along with everybody. She didn’t have to be at school with him to know he was popular. All the girls had a crush on him, and all the guys wanted to be around him. No way were you the only friend he had. No way was he as lonely as he was saying that he was. He wasn’t, he just wasn’t… Was he?

But then Paula realized it wasn’t a matter of him not having friends. It was only a matter of you. You, his other limb since he was the age of six. You, who spent every birthday and holiday with him. You, who sat with him on the bus, and at lunch, and any party you both went to together or with your families. You, who somehow seemed to be everywhere, in every memory. She’d never really thought much of it, assuming it was just some childhood crush or next door neighbor that you would both eventually outgrow. And when she had found you in his bed, naturally, she assumed the worst. You and Steve were both in middle school. This was prime time for puberty, and exploring sexuality. It was the pre-high school danger zone. No way around it. But come to think of it, she’d never seen you act as anything other than friends. Not that that mattered. Friends liked each other, too. It all had to start somewhere.

Paula glanced up at the passenger window of her car, spotting you. You still had your knees to your chest, fresh tears of your own spilling down your cheeks. She would never admit it, but the sight of you looking so hurt – thanks to her – made her heart ache. She knew you were a good girl. If anything, you were obnoxiously good. Sometimes she wondered if you had a single mean bone in your body. It was infuriating, really.

She turned back to her son, who was still weeping uncontrollably and waiting for her to respond. That really drove the knife deeper into her heart, and she could feel herself cracking. The brutal truth of it all was landing, the realization dawning on her.

You were Steve’s home.

Mr. and Mrs. Harrington would never be that for their son. Nor would their great big house. No social status, or money, or upper class school would give him refuge. But you? You did that. Have been doing that for the past six years.

Steve didn’t lack friends. He lacked family. And you were far closer to family than his actual family was.

Mrs. Harrington took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose, keeping her emotions at bay. She pushed her bangs out of her face, slowly rising to stand. She closed her eyes briefly, mustering up whatever strength was left in her. Then, she made her way towards you with a collected yet somber expression etching her feminine features.

All you could do was watch her, unable to breathe as you anxiously waited to see what she was about to do. To your surprise, she reached for the handle…and opened your door. You sat there, frozen in place. Mrs. Harrington didn’t hurry you back out of her car, seeing how visibly afraid you were. Instead, she just tilted her head slightly, and you knew that was your cue. Newfound relief surged through you, and you felt the ice pick that was lodged in your chest finally melt. Cautiously, you made your way out of the passenger’s seat, your bare feet touching the grass. You looked up at her timidly, finding her expression to be blank.

Then you turned to Steve. Beautiful, sweet Steve. He was still on the ground, his cries steadying. When he saw you step out of the car, he stumbled to his feet, hiccuping. You kept your head low, shoulders slumped as you made your way towards him. You crashed into his chest, feeling the weight of the world lifted off your shoulders as Steve’s arms wrapped around you.

Steve’s entire world had ended just a few minutes ago, and now it had begun again. The second you were back in his arms, everything was alright. He still hiccupped and whimpered, but you did too. You just held each other, crying softly.

All Paula could do was watch. Something about the way her son held you – so protectively and so full of love – made something inside her stir. A sour taste filled her mouth, wanting to feel touched by it but too bitter at her own miserable reality to let it do so. Because her son resonated more love than her husband ever could. The way that Steve clung to you, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he swayed you both side to side, was the truest form of love that Paula had ever seen. Her friends had never held her like that, when she was a little girl. Even all grown up, Chet had never held her like that. Not even close. Not even at their happiest, years ago. Maybe she had assumed that their son would naturally be the same way.

God, was she wrong. Because as you fiddled your fingers in the hair at the nape of Steve’s neck, whispering how sorry you were, causing Steve to just shake his head against your shoulder and tell you not to be, Paula Harrington saw the epitome of true love shine through her son. And, by extension, you.

She hung her head, unable to look any more. It upset her too much. So she quietly made her way back inside, refusing to speak of this ever again. Not with Steve, or with you. Your parents would never know, and Chet Harrington would never know either.

As Steve held you close to him, refusing to let you go, somehow you both knew that you would never have to worry about this again. You weren’t going to be pulled apart, or stop being there for each other. Because even if you had been driven away from him today, Steve would have persisted. You would have done the same. Tethered souls cannot be untethered.

Steve was twelve years old when he found that out.

___________

It was Steve’s fifteenth birthday when he kissed you for the very first time.

His parents were out at some party that night, having brought yours along too. So the house was his for the night, until they drunkenly stumbled home. All of his friends were elated. Big house, no parents. That’s the way Carol Perkins always puts it. Steve Harrington’s house was the coolest on the block. Huge pool with a deck. Two stories, plus a man cave basement with a fully stocked mini bar that felt like an underground speakeasy. And best of all, no parental supervision.

Steve had become quite the hit, come freshman year. He was captain on the swim team, and his body showed it. His charm was as enticing as ever, winning every heart of every girl at school. His boyishly handsome features blossomed day by day, growing cuter by the second. His hair had become his statement piece, coining his nickname, Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington. He had it goin’ on, and everyone knew it. Including you.

You, too, were a catch. Your hair was longer, and you’d trimmed layers into your long red locks so that you had little side swept curtain bangs that all the girls wanted. You were a cheerleader, but you really loved photography. So you took that up, too. You also had a great house for parties, which your mom was always too willing to host for you and your cheer squad girlfriends. You never really planned those, so much as she did. And sure, you shared the same circle of friends as Steve. But you still had that introverted loner streak in you, liking to do your own thing. Steve was the social butterfly, his posse of admirers increasing more and more. You were popular, given that you were the freshman heartthrob’s best friend. ‘Steve’s girl.’

Except you weren’t his girl, though. Not really. Yeah, you two were inseparable as ever. That hasn’t changed. But you weren’t technically his. At least, not romantically…

“C’mon, big boy! Chug the rest’a that beer so we can play some spin the bottle!”

Tommy H. Somehow, that rowdy kid had gotten into your circle. You weren’t really sure how. He played basketball, but he was mostly on the bench. His daddy was rich, too, but he was a drunk and a slob. His step-mom was somewhere in her twenties, probably leaning more towards the younger end. No one really knew much about his actual mom, but the mommy issues definitely showed. Not that this had stopped Carol from being all over him. Those two had their tongues down each other’s throats all the time, ever since she hit on him at one of the games. They had snuck behind the bleachers to make out. Probably more. They bickered, sometimes being downright cruel to each other. But it seemed to be their thing.

Oh yeah, and about Carol. She was pretty much the same as she was in kindergarten. Bratty. Obnoxious. Loud. But when she had noticed you and Steve were still friends, and Tommy H. had made it clear to her that that wasn’t changing anytime soon, she’d retired her days of picking on you. She pretty much had since that day at recess, but especially after seeing you were this untouchable princess in Steve’s world. She didn’t get it, but she didn’t care to try. She merely accepted it, and so you let it be. You were stronger than you had been back then, having more of a voice. But you were still a good girl at heart, soft spoken and a little too forgiving.

“Oh Jesus,” Steve muttered, chuckling as he swiped at his perfect hair.

Tommy H. has an arm slung around him, getting everyone to cheer him on. You sat on the couch next to Stacy and Liz, your Paps Blue Ribbon in hand, grinning. Chug, chug, chug, everyone chanted. Soon enough, Steve’s bottle was empty and a circle was forming on the floor. You settled on the ground across from him, shooting him a cute smirk. He winked — and it didn’t matter how long you’d known him, it always made you blush.

“This seat taken?”

You looked up to find Christopher Cazaway standing above you, a soft smile on his lips. You returned it, patting the empty space beside you.

“Be my guest.”

He obliged, not hesitating to take you up on the offer. Christopher was a sophomore. Blonde, handsome, 6’5” and a basketball superstar. He was bound to get a scholarship somewhere great, no doubt in anyone's mind. He was every coach’s dream, along with every girl at the school. But as far as his personality goes, he wasn’t the jock type. He was sort of a gentle giant, with a heartwarming smile and hearty laugh. He could dribble and shoot hoops like no other, and he was drop dead handsome, but there wasn’t a vain bone in his body. Christopher was surprisingly soft spoken, almost shy. He was mature, sometimes seeming a little wise beyond his years. He seemed to talk better with adults than teens in ways. Still, everyone adored him. He got invited to every party, hosting a few of his own but rarely.

Secretly introverted kids like you noticed other like minded souls when you spotted them. But little did you know, it was Christopher who had noticed you first. Sure, he liked your vibrant red hair and ocean grey eyes. Yeah, he noticed the lean build of your legs and slim curve of your neck and jawline. Absolutely, he thought you were beautiful. He liked the thin little rings you wore on your fingers, and he thought your laugh was adorable. More than anything though, Christopher liked the way you carried and presented yourself. He liked that you were so aware, observant. You weren’t aloof, or like all the other girls that flung themselves at him. You were real. And he liked that. A lot. He kept liking more things about you, the more you both sat together in chemistry class or saw each other at basketball practice, since that’s where you had cheer meets.

“Man,” he said, crossing his legs. “Haven’t played spin the bottle since middle school.”

You hummed a light chuckle, setting down your drink. “Well if it makes you feel any better, I’ve never played period.”

He cocked an eyebrow, grinning at you. “Is that right?”

You smiled sheepishly. “I don’t get out much.”

He had to chuckle at that, knowing you were half kidding. But he didn’t doubt that you’d never played before. Not because you seemed awkward or uncomfortable, but because you weren’t like the other girls. Or anyone here, for that matter. You weren’t the typical snobby rich girl, from her snobby rich family. You were different.

From across the room, Steve watched you two talk. He found it interesting that Christopher and you talked with such ease, never having realized you two might be friends. But Stacy and Liz chimed into your conversation eventually, and Tommy H. was back to hollering again.

“Everybody, shut up!” he shouted, silencing people for the most part. He clapped his hands together, grinning like an idiot. “Let’s fuck some lips.”

Girls made faces and sounds of disgust, while most of the dudes snickered in agreement. You kept a straight face, not really phased by his antics. Christopher found the kid gross, but knew he was just an ignorant freshman who thought he was hot shit. So he didn’t really let it irk him much.

“Wait,” Carol interjected, cracking open a peach schnapp. “What if, like, a guy lands on a guy?”

Tommy H. snorted. “Then you roll again. No one’s gay up in here. This isn’t a faggot party.”

Steve’s nose scrunched at that. “Tommy, c’mon, man. Don’t say that.”

You squirmed, adding softly, “that’s really not nice.”

“What?! It’s true.” Tommy H. took a swig of his beer, shrugging.

“Okay, then what about girls?” Carol pressed. Her boyfriend smiled devilishly.

“Nah, that shit’s hot,” he sneered.

“Ugh, that’s not fair!” Carol whined, but her grin contradicted her complaint. You internally rolled your eyes. Oh sweet misogyny, you thought to yourself. The selective homophobia of an insecure male asshole was enough to make you wanna puke.

“Okay, can we just — play?” Someone interjected.

“Alright, alright,” Steve said, waving his hands. He placed his empty beer bottle in the middle of the circle, looking up to wriggle his eyebrows at everyone. “Who’s first?”

“You are, big guy,” Tommy H. said, clapping him in the back. “Birthday boy always kicks us off.”

Some of the teens oooh’d and giggled, dramatically. All the girls were just itching for it to be them that the bottle landed on, so that they could smooch the hot new heartthrob of Hawkins High. Their very own small town Prince Charming.

Steve shrugged, reaching to give the bottle a spin.

As you watched the bottle turn and turn, you couldn’t help but feel the anxious butterflies dance in your stomach. You weren’t sure why you hoped it landed on you. Then again, you were. In fact, you totally were. You’d loved Steve for as long as you could remember. It was inevitable, given your history. You knew he loved you, too. It just probably wasn’t like that. Still, you wondered if maybe he wanted the bottle to land on you too.

But it didn’t land on you. It landed on Becky, who couldn’t help but gasp. She looked absolutely ecstatic, giggling like a school girl. Steve look at her with a grin and raised an eyebrow, somehow looking both shy and confident.

Oh shit. Were you about to watch him kiss another girl? You hadn’t had to see that before. Sure, you knew he’d kissed another girl before. A few, actually. Steve’s first kiss had been Elsie Fitzgerald. 8th grade, behind the P.E. building. You knew that, because Steve had told you first thing. He’d nudged you in line at the cafeteria, telling you in a low voice as he plopped a milk carton on his tray. And you’d listened, pretending that it didn’t make your heart break. He was pretty happy about it, more so for himself than he was actually lit up about having kissed Elsie specifically. She had passed him a note in class, asking to be his Valentine. Your heart really sank after hearing that, wishing it had been you. After that, Steve had a few kisses with girls under his belt — none of which were with you.

You were still waiting on your first kiss.

And as that reminder floated around in your head, you watched Becky crawl across the floor to lean in and kiss your best friend on the lips. He sat still, kissing her with ease. You wondered what it felt like. The touch of his lips, which you always thought looked so soft. Becky lingered a little while, and eventually Steve pulled away with a charming smile. She squealed, flitting back to her seat and flipping her hair. The butterflies in your stomach felt blue, but you kept a light smile on your face to mask it.

Now, Tommy spun the bottle. One by one, teens kissed. Some girls even kissed, making you flush. You watched Steve kiss a couple other girls, all of them doing a horrible job at concealing their giggling fits. At some point, it was your turn to spin — and it landed right between Steve and Tommy H.

Now you really felt butterflies in your stomach. Their dance was a little angry this time, though. Your anxiety spiked, dreading the thought of kissing Tommy but nerves wrecked as you thought about getting to kiss Steve.

Your eyes glanced up at your best friend by default, finding that he was already looking back at you shyly. Tommy barked a laugh, clapping his hands.

“Look, I don’t wanna make any calls here,” he said, putting his hands up in surrender. “But uhhh, I’ll let the birthday boy take this one. As much as I’d love to rock your world, princess.”

Your eyes narrowed at him. “That’s one way to put it.”

“C’mon, birthday boy,” Carol snickered. “Kiss your best friend.”

Steve felt himself blush, hoping he didn’t look as nervous as he felt. God, he had wondered what it felt like to kiss you for so long without even realizing that he had until this very moment. The way you were looking at him right now, looking so calm and content, he never would have known that you were so completely in love with him. He was pretty sure that he was a party of one, in that department.

Tommy kept making gross kissy noises. Steve cleared his throat, feigning lighthearted cockiness as he looked wryly at Tommy.

“Knock it off, man,” he mumbled, turning back to face you.

You watched him eye you with curiosity, as if he was silently asking you if this was okay. But you just smiled warmly, welcoming the contact. So Steve got on his knees and crawled over to you, meeting you halfway. As he got closer to you, he could see those tiny sun kissed freckles that lightly dusted your nose, and the smooth surface of your porcelain cheek. He could see the light whisk of mascara on your eyelashes, and the very neutral shade of lipstick on your full lips. He felt himself swallow, his usual bravado failing him. You looked so gentle, sweet as ever. He wondered if your tongue tasted as sweet as you were…

You sat back on your knees and heels, hands placed in your lap as you looked at him, patient and a little sheepish. Steve was so close to you now, basking in the scent of your soft perfume. It smelled like the ocean, with faint traces of coconut and vanilla. He wanted to kiss you. He really did.

“Oh my god, kiss already!” Carol screeched.

But neither of you flinched, even as the others echoed their sentiments. You breathed a tiny laugh, making Steve grin. Without thinking, he found himself placing a hand to the curve of your jaw. Oh. He hasn’t done that with the other girls. His breath lightly hitched at the contact, realizing he’d never actually been this close to you. Which made no sense, given you’d fallen asleep in the same bed for how many years now? But this was different. This type of intimacy wasn’t the same.

You subtly leaned into his touch, eyes never leaving his. His thumb stroked your cheek, the corner of his lip tugging upwards. Your noses touched, the sharp tip of his against the little perky end of yours. His breath was warm against your skin, feeling like a blanket wrapping itself around your face. You both kept leaning in, slowly. Ever so slowly.

Finally, his bottom lip grazed yours. And those butterflies in your stomach were doing a full blown ballet now. Steve felt his heart skip a beat. Maybe several beats.

Damn, he thought. Since when did kissing feel like this?

It was the way your lips moved against his, so graceful and supple. The way your fair skin felt like satin beneath his finger tips. Steve felt a rush of euphoria overcome him, reveling in the feeling of your mouth against his. Becky didn’t kiss like that. Elsie didn’t, or any of the other girls. People always said that kissing is an art. Steve did have a reputation for being a good kisser, even at just fifteen years old. He just didn’t really think much of it until he was enchanted by your kiss.

Part of him thought that there was no way you hadn’t kissed somebody before. Not with how incredible you felt brushing your lips with his. Then again — maybe it was because you had never been kissed before that it was so magical. That innocent bliss of being ‘untouched,’ not yet tainted by anyone or anything.

Meanwhile, you reveled in the rhapsody of Steve’s kiss. It was everything you ever could have dreamed it would be, and more. His lips were soft, cloud-like to the touch. He was gentle in the ways you thought he might be rough, and tame in the ways you thought might be wild. He didn’t rush anything, taking his time with even the most microscopic of movements. The light yet firm grasp of his hand on your jaw was slightly edging down towards your neck, and it was all you could do not to hum with lovesick satisfaction.

Yeah, no, everyone thought. He definitely hadn’t been this tender when kissing the other girls here.

It made those other girls watch you with envy, guys cocking an eyebrow and making immature, snide remarks under their breath. It was so obvious, the magnetic pull between the two of you. Anyone could see it. Even the two of you did, but neither of you would ever admit that. At least not anytime soon.

And as the kiss ended all too soon — well, too soon for you guys, not necessarily the others — Steve’s pillow soft lips parted from yours as he ever so slightly pulled back to look at you. Your angelic face was still just an inch or so away from his, your eyelashes fluttering open to reveal your grey irises, exposing a new tint of lovesick blue. They sparkled, dancing as you looked into his brown eyes that now looked more like the color honey. You bit your lip, a timid smile finding your freshly kissed pout.

God, Steve thought. He would've kissed you again, right then and there.

But as Tommy H. hooted and hollered, snapping your two out of your gaze, reality sunk in again. This was a party, and it was just a game. It wasn’t a real kiss. It was prompted by a bottle and reckless youth. Nothing more.

Right?

“Well alrighty then, lovebirds,” some guy chided with a dark laugh.

You blushed, casting your eyes downwards. You composed yourself, watching Steve do the same. Yep, it was just a dream.

“Yeah, since when did this become a love making session?” Tommy H. jested.

Steve shot Tommy a scowl, before watching you scooch back to where you’d been sitting. You gave him a shy smile, twiddling your thumbs in your lap. Steve quickly scooted back to his place too, across from you in the circle. He smiled back at you softly, before Tommy gave him a macho shove. Steve shoved him back, but with half the strength. He was still snapping out of it. Soon, he cleared his throat, forcing his mental fantasies to the back of his brain again.

“Alright, next up,” Steve said, straightening his hair. Fuck, did anyone else see how nervous he felt? Apparently not, because everyone seemed to resume the game like nothing had ever happened.

Christopher clicked his tongue and slapped his hands on his knees. “Welp,” he said, leaning forward. “Guess it’s me.”

He gave the bottle a good spin.

Lo and behold, it landed on you.

“Oh shit!” Tommy H. exclaimed, rolling over into a ridiculously unnecessary fit of laughter.

Carol made obnoxiously loud remarks, too, along with lots of people in the circle.

Yeah. Oh shit, indeed.

“Aww, little princess is getting all the kisses tonight,” she cooed condescendingly, her high pitched voice so fake and sugary sweet.

You felt your cheeks flush again, allowing yourself to tinker a laugh. You turned to face Christopher, finding him rubbing his neck with a bashful smile on his face. He looked at you with slightly timid eyes, chuckling nervously. He was nervous? Why would he be nervous, you wondered?

Oddly, you felt very at ease about the situation. It was just Christopher. He was always kind to you, and a good friend since you started high school. If you’d had to kiss anybody else in the circle, you would prefer it be him than some guy you hardly knew. And you certainly hoped it wouldn’t land on Tommy.

You shrugged your shoulders, giving him a little grin. He grinned back, brightly. The corners of his eyes crinkled, and it was adorable really.

Given that he was seated right next to you, no awkward crawling towards each other had to take place. You just pivoted to face him, comfortably. This kiss didn’t make you nervous. You’d just gotten your first one out of the way, with the one guy you had been in love with your whole life. So a second one with someone who was just a friend? It seemed pretty easy.

Christopher had his eyes intently on you, which dropped down to look at your lips then back up to your eyes. He leaned back on one hand, which he placed slightly behind you firmly into the carpet. It gently brushed against your hip, his tone arm ghosting over the fabric of your dress. He leaned in closer, slow and calculated, so that he was slightly looking up at you. You still weren’t nervous, though, even as you looked into his dark blue eyes. You just smiled, waiting. His loods became hooded as he tilted his head just right, so that yours could tilt the opposite way whenever your lips made contact. Sure enough, his lips found yours, and it was the most grounding kiss. It was sweet, a little firmer than Steve’s. He was soft, just a little more assertive. Suddenly you felt his other hand cup the back of your neck, his touch tender and caring but secure. It surprised you, but you didn’t pull away. In fact, you instinctively placed a hand on his knee.

If you hadn’t been busy locking lips with Christopher, you would have seen the melancholy expression on Steve’s face. But you didn’t.

Steve hopelessly watched you kiss the handsome sophomore, overcome with a sense of dread. He hadn’t taken this into account when playing the game. You know, that he’d actually have to watch you kiss another guy. Maybe that wasn’t really the problem, though. No, the problem was the way that Christopher kissed you. Was still kissing you. Steve could have sworn that he saw the blonde athlete move his lips against yours a second time, and envy creeped up his spine. Christopher definitely hadn’t kissed Linda or Molly like that earlier in the game, when the bottle had landed on him during their turn. Nah, this was just with you. Why the hell was he kissing you like that?

…why the hell was he still kissing you like that?

Steve squirmed. He felt as though he might laugh, or shout, or blurt something without being able to control himself, and he probably would have had it not been for you finally breaking contact with Christopher. Oh thank Christ, Steve thought, as he let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding this whole time.

You simply gave Christopher a warm smile, but your eyes looked slightly dazed and confused. Because you were. It had caught you a little off guard, the way that he’d just kissed you. It definitely lasted a little longer than needed. Not that you minded it. You didn’t really know what to think of it, actually. One thing was for sure, his gaze on you was not one he’d given any of the other girls that night. You knew that much. You might’ve been uncharacteristically oblivious to Steve’s feelings for you, but you weren’t blind to someone else’s. Before now, though, you never really thought that Christopher felt anything for you aside from friendship. But now, it seemed that he did. It seemed he very much did.

Huh, you thought. Interesting.

You still hadn’t looked over to see Steve’s disheartened expression in the midst of all the immature teenagers in a circle, making a series of noises and comments following the kiss. He hoped that no one was watching him. Then again, would he even care if they did? That didn’t matter, not when he cared way more about the fact that some other guy was looking at you like that. It didn’t sit right. It really didn’t sit right.

But what was he gonna do about it? Say, “Hey Christopher, it’s my birthday, so maybe back off my girl?” No, because you weren’t technically his. You were your own.

…but your heart was his.

…and his heart was yours.

Steve doesn’t really remember much after that. He knew they hadn’t been playing for much longer, and that eventually everyone wanted to shotgun some more beers. He knew that Linda and Becky had been saying something to him in the lavish living room, as they twirled their hair and batted their lashes. He knew that Tommy H. had been daring everyone to jump in the pool, dragging Carol in with him. Teens screeched and hollered, splashing and laughing while the Eagles blasted in the background from the Harrington’s flashy stereo inside the house.

Steve does remember when “Sweet Emotion” by Aerosmith had started to play. He was leaning against his kitchen island, making small talk with some of the guys. You were out by the pool, red solo cup in hand, and you had started to sway to yourself. The skirt of your dress flicked at the corners, your toned legs sashaying you from side to side. You turned a little, so that he could see your profile. You were grinning ear to ear, in your own little world. He loved when you did that. You were so damn adorable when you did that. You lifted a hand into the air – the one not holding your cup of booze – closing your eyes, and singing the words.

Sweet emotion…

You talk about things that nobody cares

Wearing out things that nobody wears

You turn so that you’re now facing the open sliding glass door, opening your eyes as you fix your gaze on Steve. Your eyes are a little hazy, but still glow. You point your finger at Steve, serenading him in your buzzed stupor. Your grin deepens as you sing the next words along with Steven Tyler.

You’re calling my name, but I gotta make clear

I can’t say, baby, where I’ll be in a year

Steve can feel himself smiling like an idiot, shaking his head as he lets out a throaty chuckle that’s drowned out by the music. He bites his lip absentmindedly, watching you just exist. You throw your head back, smiling at the sky, hips still swaying.

Stacy makes her way over to you from the other side of the pool, definitely more drunk than you were. She sings loudly, catching your attention. You look down from the black night sky to look at her, and you laugh when you see her wanting to join you. She grabs your hand, twirling you around and singing everything off key.

Some sweat hog mama with a face like a gent

Said my get up and go, must've got up and went

Well I got good news, she's a real good liar

'Cause the backstage boogie sets your pants on fire

As the guitar solo rips through the stereo speakers, your dancing intensifies. Everyone in the pool seem to be getting rowdier, also singing Aerosmith at the top of their lungs.

Stacy’s footing betrays her and she stumbles, laughing drunkenly. You catch her, making sure that she’s okay and stifling a laugh. But once you see that she’s clearly fine, you laugh too. Liz makes her way out of the pool to check on her, squatting down and clutching her hands and still singing while Stacy just keeps laughing.

Steve takes the opportunity to approach you as you stand alone again, sneaking up quickly to grab you and spin you around. You squeal, feeling his chest pressed to your back as your legs dangle off the ground. You hold onto his toned arms tightly, giggling uncontrollably. When he sets you back down, you turn so that you’re looking directly at him.

Sweet emotion…

Your stomach does flip-flops, seeing his signature Steve Harrington smiled directed only at you. His brown eyes hold a certain mischief in them, and you can’t help but feel a rush of love for this boy you’d known since you were just barely in kindergarten. He lifts your hand to twirl you, and suddenly you’re six years old again, dancing in your treehouse with Steve. The real world ceases to exist, and it’s just the two of you in your own fantasy world. No matter what ups and downs, highs and lows, good days and bad days, heartache and joy, that reality throws both of your way – the one constant you both have had is each other. Somehow, that’s never changed.

You both sing to each other, hand in hand and hips in time with the music.

I pulled into town in a police car

Your daddy said I took it just a little too far

You're telling her things but your girlfriend lied

You can't catch me 'cause the rabbit done died

Yes it did

Now everyone around you is losing their mind, screaming the words and partying like animals as the song continues to blare. It’s an 80’s rock-n-roll kind of vibe, full of teen angst, booze and sexual tension. Guys shotgun more beer by the pool, couples make out in the deep end. Girls hold each other with limp limbs and sloppy smiles, slurring the words and proclaiming their girl power love for each other. They won’t remember it tomorrow, but for tonight it’s the glorious eternal truth.

As for you – Nicole St. James, the freshman mystery girl and princess in the making – you’ve only got eyes and moves for your best friend in the world. Steve Harrington, Hawkins High’s soon-to-be very own King Steve. Two best friends and lovers in denial, hopelessly devoted to one another, just without the title. You both dance around the truth together on his posh pool deck. The confident shake of his hips and thrusts of yours fool you blind from seeing that you are just as equally afraid as he is to make the wrong move.

Stand in the front just a shakin' your ass

I'll take you backstage, you can drink from my glass

I'll talk about something you can sure understand

'Cause a month on the road and I'll be eating from your hand

Steve knows that something’s gotta give. He knows that it can’t go on like this forever. But for him, this is safe. This is forever. What you two have guarantees that you’ll both make it. That you’ll never go away. You won’t abandon him, or lose interest in him. If he keeps his distance, even tangled up in your arms when dancing in his backyard or falling asleep next to you, then he’ll always keep you close. All the money in the world, but he could never afford to lose that. Not ever.

And you don’t say anything to make him change his mind. To make him ask you to be his. To make a move beyond a kiss shared in a public game of spin-the-bottle. To tell you that he doesn’t just love you – but that he is in love with you. You don’t confess it either, no matter how fiercely you want to do exactly that. Because as selfish as it was, you were content too. You never minded being on your own, but a world without Steve stopped being fathomable in 1972 on that brisk afternoon in your treehouse. The second he had knocked on your pastel yellow door, in his little sage green sweater, jeans and converse, your solitude had made room for a second person. He was your other half, so it really wasn’t even surrendering solitude. It was simply completing it. Steve completed it. Completed you.

_________________

To be continued…

VOLUME II next month 🖤

TAG LIST: @loveshotzz @creelhousesteve @t-lostinworlds @freezaz123 @zbeez-outlet @cutiecusp @unhealthyobservationsloves @sunioli

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington angst #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x you #steve harrington smut #steve au #steve the hair harrington #steve harrington fic #steve harrington one shot #team steve #joe keery #king steve #steve harrington au #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington oneshot #Steve Harrington x fem!character

140 notes · View notes

catchingbigfish · 8 months

Text

author ask tag game

thank you so much for the tag @doublegoblin! i'll soft-tag @words-after-midnight, @ragnarokproofing, @horrormama, @winterandwords, and anyone else who wants to participate!

i'm gonna use these questions to introduce a new wip i'm working on! i don't know the name of it yet lol but i'm tagging it "wip: ttb" because i was calling it i tried to bury you but you wouldn't stay dead. a rough synopsis: novella-length, depressing af, dual-POV (duet-POV?), second-person litfic about a preacher's son and a town outcast who fall in love and tell select stories of their relationship before the preacher's son went missing.

(1) What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

i don't really write lessons into my work, but as far as themes go: what we replace it with when we lose religion, sex-as-religion, the limitations of identity and our struggles to break out of them, hauntings, ghosts-as-wishes, and the brutality of religion

(2) What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

i'm always a little unsure of how to answer this because it's not fantasy, but the setting is a small town i spent a lot of time in during my childhood in the south! it was a rural, 50k population, churches on every corner sort of place. i'm trying hard to nail that vibe as well as possible, including exploring it on google maps a ton

(3) What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

i think both main characters are mostly concerned with closure; i'm really just trying to tell the story, tbh!

(4) How many chapters is your story going to have?

i have a very specific vision in mind for this wip -- i have plans for 9 chapters, around 6k words apiece, each centered on a biblical place and a related theme from southern baptist teachings. it'll be somewhat evenly split between the MCs' versions of the same story with an interlude i'm tentatively calling lamentations, which is a very short "dream" the woman has of a way the man dies (hence its tentative title)

(5) Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

original content! not sure yet -- i'm contemplating whether i want to try trad publishing or potentially release it here on tumblr.

(6) When and why did you start writing?

i'm not sure if this means generally or this story -- so you get both answers. i don't remember when and why i started writing, but my earliest clear memory of writing is when i was ten. it feels like scratching an itch tbh. for this story, i would say it has roots in a similar story (another dual-POV, second-person, man disappears type story) i wrote for my first ever creative writing course which coalesced into this via various pieces of media i was consuming at the time -- way too much lana del rey, some david lynch (particularly blue velvet), and the book of eve, to name a few. the why, though, is because it just sort of popped into my brain and i'd be itchy if i didn't, to continue the previous metaphor

(7) Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

stop caring about the market, tbh. to borrow a line from community, caring is lethal. just write the story and find the audience later

#writeblr #wip: ttb #about elle #sorry my drafts is apparently where posts go to die

4 notes · View notes

whump-captain · 1 year

Text

I got tagged by @set-phasers-to-whump and omg i had such a blast answering these, thank u (◡‿◡) i'll tag @deepwoundsandfadedscars @thatsgonnaleaveamark (i think it's double tag? soz if so) @whumpapalooza @emcscared-whumps @straight-to-the-pain and anyone who sees it and has more than one WIP going on currently, writing or otherwise

(ill put in a readmore bc it's Long)

Rules: post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you’ve written this year!

Top 5 works im proud of, in no particular order:

Impaled (Felix Lawrence) - I’m mostly proud of this one because I was worried if I could write it at all! A lot of moving parts in the scene that i was convinced would get away from me, but i managed to keep everything straight and describe it clearly. It was also a struggle to drip-feed bits of necessary lore into this one snippet without grinding the whole thing to a halt and i think i did that pretty well!

Confrontation (Ghost ambulance) - I’m super happy with the prose in this. I think it flows the best out of most of my stuff and there are some sentences that i’m really proud of because they convey a lot of meaning in a very pretty way. I often find it hard to balance clarity and metaphor but i hit the jackpot here. The dialogue is also one of my better ones, i think.

Failed rescue attempt (Kintsugi) - this one takes the prize for dialogue though, I’m incredibly happy with how it turned out. I tried to fit an entire conflict between two characters into a single conversation and introduce them both by way of that conflict - while also keeping them sounding distinct and like real people. I’m also very pleased with myself over the use of the prop in the scene lmao it’s such a small thing but i felt like a film director including it lol

No anesthesia (Ghost ambulance) - im mostly proud of the pacing in this one. it's quite long but it doesn't become repetitive which is something i notice a lot in my writing. both the dialogue and the actual action flow pretty well and there are no awkward transitions or subject changes - plus it might be the longest actual pain description ive ever written lmao but i managed to keep it interesting throughout and have the whump scene actually feel like a Scene.

Whumper POV (Ghost ambulance): I wrote this mostly to challenge myself and i succeeded at the thing that was the challenge! I wanted to try a brand new character voice and also to develop said character - but not to fall into common "whumper tropes". I don't write whumpers often so i was worried i'd end up with a cliche but i managed to find an emotional core for the character and from there it went more smoothly. The biggest point of pride for me is that i fell in love with Brent as a character because of this piece lol and now i want to write more of him

Top 4 current WIPs:

Uhhhh i never ever name anything lmao but:

WIP 1 is some comfort-heavy Elaine whump that shows her mindset before and after meeting her friends and it's just. SO comfort. im excited. i should hurt her more often so she can be taken care of (◡‿◡)

WIP 2 is an introduction to a new ghost ambulance storyline, taking place at a fancy high-society party. I honestly don't have much of it figured out plot-wise lmao that's why it's not going very quickly but it's gonna have high stakes, a race against the clock, gratuitous descriptions of fancy outfits, and a brand new character (with gun)

WIP 3 is a whumptober "poisoned" prompt that i'm planning to finish, because i have some cool monster ideas for it that i can spend a bit more time developing now that i have no time concerns. of course, no time concerns probably means it will take much longer than it needs to lol

WIP 4 is something i started aaaaages ago, it concerns a dislocation, blood draining, and a sentient vampire tree trying to eat people. it's incredibly fun but i got a bit stuck on a description and never finished it so i wanna try and get it out soon (◡‿◡)

(im also going to add the entirety of Kintsugi in here even though i don't think i'm going to post much of it. the characters changed a lot as i developed the story and so did the whole setup so unless i feel like doing an au, im gonna most likely spend time writing the feature-length thing. i am v excited about it though (◡‿◡))

Top 3 writing improvements:

Ehhhhhh this one is really hard bc i have this sinking feeling that my writing has actually gotten worse through this year djdjfhdkd its probably because i write way more than i used to, so a lot of stuff is going to be Just Alright instead of something i consider standout. Also ive started looking at my work more critically so I can consciously improve, but it does mean i notice more of the flaws.

But Improvement 1 is definitely dialogue, im much more comfortable writing it now and i have a decent idea of how and why it might stumble - and through that, how to make it better.

Improvement 2 i'd call figuring out my workflow, which honestly does wonders for Actually Finishing Stuff. I learned to keep my writing momentum, mostly by using [filler words] in [brackets] instead of pausing to do research or look for the perfect word. I come back for those later, after i finish the first draft. Coming back to the first point, i also start a dialogue scene by just writing out the lines, with no prose or descriptions. That helps me keep the conversations on topic and gives them better flow cause i don't forget what the previous line was about while writing a reaction lol

Improvement 3 is a bit of a cheat but i do think it counts that i started reading way more this year. I try to pay attention to what i do and don't like about the books i read and how i can improve based on those insights. It's also very inspiring, do gotta say

Top 2 resolutions:

Hmmmmm number 1 i'd say is to be kinder to my own writing tbh. I have so many goals i want to work towards but above them all hangs a bunch of uncertainty bc i doubt pretty much every choice i make. I keep thinking oh this is too winding, that is too simple, is this how it's Supposed be written and all of that whereas like. It's not Supposed to be anything. It's supposed to be fun and maybe meet my own standards of "quality" but that's it. In the words of a philosopher, It's Not That Deep.

Number 2 is to get my writing out to more people! I'd love to both get more audience here and also to maaaaaaybe perhaps somehow get published - that's a big dream of mine recently (◡‿◡) i reckon i have what it takes to get a short story in a magazine, i just need to be more resilient and send out more stuff

No. 1 favourite line:

Oh man that was the hardest one fhdhdjdldh i'm gonna go with:

"The ground below remains steady and it promises peace if he only lets it swallow him and bind him forever to this single point in space and time."

#tags #tag game #this took ages but it was bc i really wanted to think abt the answers #it was really fun (◡‿◡)#i did it only w/ writing for consistency but tbh it can work for most creative works i think

3 notes · View notes

fanfics4all · 3 years

Text

Torture

Request: Yes / No

Requests are closed <3 Have a nice day/night

Harry Potter x Fem!Lupin!Reader

Word count: 4190 (Probably could have gotten to the torture party quicker, but I just had to add backstory lol)

Warnings: Torture obviously, and Dobby’s death

Y/N: Your Name

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

A/N: Bingo card made by @slyttherins

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you!

Masterlist

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

Harry and I have been together since he and Cho broke up. Now we were in our seventh year and everything was going to hell. Professor Snape had killed Dumbledore and was now in charge of Hogwarts. I feared going back to school, but I feared for Harry more. So, when the summer was coming to an end and my older brother Remus said he was going with the Order to Harry’s I immediately demanded to go with him.

“Y/N/N, it’s dangerous.” He said.

“This is my boyfriend’s life in danger. I am coming with you.” I said, standing my ground.

“Y/N/N… if anything happened to you Mum and Dad would kill me.” He sighed.

“If anything happens to you or Harry, you won’t have to worry about Mum and Dad.” I threatened.

“There’s nothing I can do to convince you to stay home with Edward, is there?” He sighed again.

“Not a thing. And if you go without me I’ll just follow you.” I shrugged and he sighed once again.

“Fine, fine. You can join me, but you better not leave my side.” He said and I smiled.

“Thank you!” I said and hugged him.

Before we went off to Harry’s house, The Order met up to discuss what would be happening. You-Know-Who was searching for Harry. He was going to go after him and we needed to act first. We were the only line of defence for Harry and I was going to fight for both our lives till the very end. Once the plan was in order we all got on our brooms and headed for Harry. When we all landed Harry opened the door and I ran up to him, throwing my arms around him and holding him tightly. He hugged me back and I leaned up to kiss him.

“What are you doing here?” He asked shocked.

“Did you honestly think I would just sit around while your life was in danger?” I laughed and walked into the room with the others.

“I tried to get her to stay home, but she’s stubborn.” Remus said and I smiled.

“All righ’ ‘arry? Yeh look fit.” Hagrid said with a smile.

“Yeah, he’s ruddy gorgeous. What say we get undercover before someone murders him.” Mad-Eye said in his usual rough tone.

“I thought you were looking after the Prime Minister, Kingsley?” Harry asked.

“You’re most important.” Kingsley answered. Harry smiled and Bill Weasley walked in, extending his hand to Harry.

“Hello, Harry. Bill Weasley.” He introduced himself.

“Wasn’t alway this handsome.” Fred joked.

“Dead ugly.” George joined in.

“True enough. Owe it all to a werewolf by the name of Greyback. Hope to repay the favor one day.” Bill said. Fleur walked in next to him and kissed his cheek.

“You are still beautiful to me, William.” She said.

“Just remember, Fleur, once you’re married, Bill takes his steaks on the raw side now.” Remus said, finally walking into the room with Tonks.

“My husband, the joker. By the way, wait until you hear the news! Remus and I are-”

“Alright, alright! You’ll all have time for a cozy catch-up later! We’ve got to get the hell out of here and soon!” Mad-Eye cut her off. He dropped a sack by his feet and turned to Harry.

“Potter, you’re underage, which means you’ve still got the Trace on you.” He said.

“The Trace?” Harry asked.

“You sneeze and the Ministry will know who wipes your nose. Point is, we have to use those means of transport the Trace can’t detect, brooms, thestrals, and the like. We’ll go in pairs. That way if anyone’s out there waiting for us- and I reckon there will be- they won’t know which Harry Potter is the real one.” He explained.

“The real one?” Harry asked.

“I believe you’re familiar with this particular brew.” He said, pulling out a flask.

“No! Absolutely not!” Harry exclaimed.

“I told you he’d take it well.” Hermione sighed.

“If you think I’m going to let people risk their lives for me-”

“Never done that before, have we?” Ron joked, cutting him off.

“This is different. Taking that. Becoming me- no.” Harry said.

“Well, none of us really fancy it, mate.” Fred said.

“Yeah, imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as scrawny, specky git forever.” George joked.

“Reckon Y/N would love having more than one Harry.” Fred added and I rolled my eyes.

“Piss off, the both of you.” I said and they laughed.

“Everyone here’s of age, Potter, and they’ve all agreed to take the risk.” Mad-Eye said.

“Technically, I’ve been coerced. Mundungus Fletcher, Mr. Potter. I’ve always been a huge admirer.” Mundungus introduced and just about everyone rolled their eyes.

“Nip it, Mundungus! Alright, Granger, as discussed.” Mad-Eye said. Hermione nodded slightly and grabbed a bit of Harry’s hair and pulled.

“Blimey, Hermione!” Harry groaned.

“Straight in here, if you please.” Mad-Eye said, holding open the flask. Smoke rushed out the top and he handed it to George first.

“For those of you who haven’t taken Polyjuice Potion before, fair warning. It tastes like goblin piss.” Mad-Eye said.

“Have a lot of experience with that, do you, Mad-eye?” Fred joked. Mad-Eye’s eye rotated towards Fred.

“Just trying to defuse the tension.” Fred said. George took the first sip, then Fred, Ron, Hermione, Fleure, Mundungus, and finally it was passed to me.

“Y/N? No! Lupin, you can’t seriously be alright with this!” Harry said, before I could take a sip. Everyone else was already transforming.

“I’m not, but like I said, she’s stubborn.” Remus sighed.

“Who’s she gonna ride with?” He asked and everyone was silent. That was something they haven’t figured out yet.

“I’ll go on my own. They won’t expect it and probably will just leave me be.” I shrugged.

“Absolutely not!” Remus said.

“It would look less specious than two Harrys riding together.” I pointed out.

“Very well.” Mad-Eye nodded.

“What? You can’t be serious! What if she gets hurt? There’s no one with her to protect her!” Remus said.

“She can’t go on her own!” Harry said.

“Y/N, are you willing to take the risk?” Mad-Eye asked and everyone looked my way.

“If it means Harry is safe, then of course.” I answered.

“She agrees, now hurry up and drink so we can get on with this.” He said. Before my brother or boyfriend could stop me I took a gulp of the awful potion and handed the flask back to Mad-Eye. I soon also looked like Harry.

“Wow, we’re identical!” Fred and George said together.

“Not yet you aren’t.” Mad-Eye said. He walked over to the sack he dropped earlier and dumped out eight pairs of identical clothing.

“Don’t you have something a bit more sporty, do you?” George asked.

“Yes, don’t fancy this colour at all.” Fred agreed.

“Fancy this, you’re not you, so shut it and strip.” He said to the twins and turned to Harry.

“You’ll need to change too, Potter.” He said. All of us started stripping, and I think I can speak for everyone when I say that it was a bit awkward.

“Bill, look away… I’m ‘ideous.” Fleur said dramatically and I rolled my eyes.

“I knew Ginny was lying about that tattoo!” Ron said with a smirk.

“Harry, your eyesight really is awful.” Hermione said, wobbling a bit.

“Don’t worry Harry, I still love you.” I said and he smiled.

“Blimey. I almost forgot!” Mad-Eye rummaged through his pocket and pulled out a bunch of glasses.

“Right then. We’ll be pairing off. Each Potter will have a protector, except for Y/N, As for you, Harry…” Mad-Eye started.

“Yes?” Everyone but me answered, again I rolled my eyes.

“The real Harry! Where the devil are you, anyway?” He asked.

“Here.” Harry said, walking towards him.

“You’ll ride with Hagrid.” He finished.

“Brought yeh here sixteen years ago when you were barely bigger than a Bowtruckle. Seems only righ’ I should be the one ter take yeh away.” Hagrid said and I smiled at how sentimental he could be.

“Yeah, it’s all very touching. Let’s go.” Mad-Eye said and stormed out of the house. Everyone got on their brooms and thestrals, while Hagrid got on his motorbike. As the real Harry walked out of the house Hagrid tapped the sidecar for him. Instead of going to him he walked over to me.

“Please be careful, love.” He whispered.

“I’ll be fine. And if for some reason I’m not then you and Remus can tell me you told me so.” I smirked.

“Harry, we need ter go!” Hagrid called him.

“Go, I’ll see you soon.” I smiled and he nodded. He got in Hagrid’s sidecar and everyone looked towards Mad-Eye.

“Good luck, everyone. On the count of three. One… two…” Before he could finish Hagrid’s bike came to life and off he went. Everyone flew to the skies and split off. It wasn’t long until an uneasy feeling filled the air. Death Eaters dropped from the clouds and started surrounding us. Green flashes lit up the sky as they tried to hit us. I glanced ahead and saw the real Harry was getting away. Everyone was splitting off more and I found myself alone. I couldn’t see anyone ahead or behind me, no one was around to help me if I needed it. I pushed those thoughts away. This is for Harry. This is so he’s safe. Suddenly three Death Eaters came out of nowhere and shot a spell at my broom. My broom stopped flying and was now pulling me towards the ground. Fear gripped my heart as the wind harshly hit my face. I suddenly stopped falling and was grabbed by one of the Death Eaters.

“Think he’s the real one?” The one holding me asked.

“No, they wouldn’t let the real Potter go off on his own.” Another answered.

“Doesn’t matter if he’s the real one or not, he could have information. Let’s take him with us. Bellatrix will get ‘im to talk.” The last one said. My eyes widened and my throat went dry. Harry and Remus were going to kill me if Bellatrix didn’t first.

I didn’t say a word as we arrived at Malfoy Manor. I knew the potion was going to wear off soon and they would know exactly who I was. Just as we were arriving at the large gate I could feel myself turning back into myself.

“Oi, looks like you was right, this ain’t the real Potter.” The one gripping my arm said.

“She’ll still be of some use.” Another said. We walked up to the gate and standing on the other side was Bellatrix, Lucius, and Narcissa Malfoy. Bellatrix walked forward and the Death Eater holding me pushed me against the metal bars.

“She was a fake Potter, but we thought she might have information.” One said.

“Bring her in.” Bellatrix said with an evil smirk. I was roughly brought into the Manor and pushed down to my knees.

“Call Draco, he might know who she is to Potter.” Bellatrix said. She kneeled down in front of me and roughly pulled my chin up to I was facing her.

“Tell me dearie, why were you left all on your own?” She asked, but I said nothing.

“What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?” She asked with a smirk. We heard footsteps enter the room and I saw Draco. His eyes widened slightly and I saw worry swimming in them.

“Draco, I was hoping you would know who our guest is.” Bellatrix said, turning to face him and letting go of my face.

“S-She went to Hogwarts.” He answered. It was obvious he was scared and that he didn’t want to give me up.

“We know that much, but who is she to Potter?” She asked in a slightly annoyed tone. Draco stared at me for a moment and gulped.

“Now Draco, all you need to do is tell us. She could be the key to keeping the Dark Lord from killing all of us.” His Father said. It was now my turn to gulp. Sure Draco was a huge git to my boyfriend and friends, but he oddly never said anything about me. Always just questioning why I was with Harry. Perhaps it was because I was nice to him despite everything he did.

“I’m Y/N Lupin. Harry’s girlfriend.” I answered and everyone looked at me in shock, Draco especially.

“See dear, that wasn’t so hard.” Bellatrix said, her smirk growing and seeming to get more evil.

“If you simply answer all my questions then no harm will come to you.” She said, walking closer to me again.

“I will not betray my friends, family, or boyfriend.” I answered with a hard stare.

“Then this will be a very hard time for you.” She said, her fake kindness dropping.

She wasn’t lying when she said that. At first it was just little cuts with her knife. It was painful, but nothing I couldn’t handle. However, she was just warming up. She then moved on to the Cruciatus Curse. The pain was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Even when the spell was over the pain still lingered for a little while. That lasted a month or so, I’m not entirely sure, but once she realized that I wouldn’t be talking by that means she moved on. She said she didn’t want to damage me to the point I couldn’t say anything. Nothing she was doing was working and I could tell she was getting frustrated. That’s when she had her brilliant idea. She brought me up from the cellar and standing there was Lucius, Narcissa, and Grayback. I felt my blood run cold and boil at the same time. He was the man that hurt my poor brother at the age of five!

“I’m sure you know Fenrir well.” Bellatrix smirked. She pushed me to the ground and held me down.

“Now, I’m going to let him do the same thing he did to your brother, unless you tell me what I want to know.” She said.

“Where is Harry Potter?” She asked.

“Now that you’ve all taken over the Ministry, he could be anywhere.” I answered. I didn’t know where he would be at this point. I didn’t know what the plan was.

“Liar!” She shouted and started carving something into my arm.

“Tell me where he is!” She shouted at me.

“I don’t know! Please! I don’t know!” I cried out in pain.

“You are a pathetic little liar. Fenrir!” She called and got off me.

“I think it’s time you gave her a little gift.” She said, that evil smirk appearing on her face once again.

“With pleasure.” He smirked. He crawled over to me and sniffed me. He laughed and licked the blood that split from my arm.

“I’m going to enjoy this.” He said and bit into the same arm that Bellatrix carved into. I screamed and cried as his sharp teeth drug into my skin. He was suddenly pulled off me and Narcissa was there placing something on my arm.

“Wormtail! Come lock our new little puppy up. I suspect she’ll become hungry soon.” Bellatrix smirked. I was pulled off the ground and brought back down to the cellar. Wormtail locked a metal collar around my neck and smirked.

“Be a good dog and keep the howling down.” He said and left with a laugh.

It wasn’t long after he left that I started transforming. I thought the Cruciatus Curse was the worst pain I’ve ever felt, but that was wrong. Transforming into a werewolf was way more painful. It felt as though all my bones were breaking and shifting into different places. It felt like my mind was going hazy and I had no control over myself. I felt the hunger hit me and the need to hunt became strong. I tried to run, but the collar around my neck kept me in place. I screamed, growled, and howled trying to get out of the chains and to something to eat. When I realized that I couldn't, I started hurting myself. I clawed at my neck and arms, ripping the skin from my body. That was the longest night of my life. And the next few days I felt incredibly ill and weak. It didn’t help that they were hardly feeding me anymore.

That was how it went from then on. They didn’t bother torturing me for information anymore, I was now torturing myself. They had done the worst to me and now were just leaving me with my own thoughts. Remus would blame himself for this. I know he was going to say how he should have tried harder to make me stay home. Or how he should have made sure he was with me the night we all split up. I knew Harry would blame himself too. He’d say how it was his fault all this happened. All because I was with him.

“Y/N?” Someone asked quietly and I looked up to see Draco. He was standing over me and I pushed myself closer to the wall.

“Please, don’t come any closer…” I whispered.

“What did they do to you?” He asked, kneeling down, but not coming extremely close.

“They made me like my brother…” I answered and his eyes widened.

“Grayback?” He asked and I nodded.

“They’ve kidnapped Luna, they’re bringing her here.” He said.

“They’re keeping her with me? I’ll kill her!” I cried.

“No, you won’t. You’re locked up and can’t get to her, she’s smart enough to not come near you.” He said.

“I’ll bring you something to eat later tonight, I know they’re starving you.” He said.

“Why do you care so much?” I asked.

“You’re one of the only people who was ever nice to me.” He answered with a small smile and stood up.

“I’ll see you tonight.” He said and left.

Just as Draco said, Luna was thrown into the cellar with me. She looked at me with wide eyes and came towards me.

“Y/N?” She asked.

“Luna, stay away.” I said.

“Why? Why are you in chains?” She asked confused.

“I-I’m a werewolf now… So please just stay away.” I begged.

“Oh Y/N, I’m so sorry.” She said and took a few steps my way.

“Please Luna! Just stay back, I don’t want to hurt anyone.” I cried.

“You’re not in your wolf for now Y/N, you won’t hurt me.” She smiled and came to sit next to me.

“I don’t know when the full moon is…” I whispered.

“Then I’ll stay away at night, but you need a friend right now.” She said and hugged me. It was the first kind touch I had since I got here. She was right, I needed that.

A month went by and as promised Luna stayed away from me each night to be safe. When the night was finished and I was back to human Luna came to comfort me. She helped keep me distracted and even helped Draco when he came to check on me. The two of them patched up my wounds that I had given myself. Luna was sitting with me and talking about something her Dad had written about in their paper. I tried to pay attention, but my mind kept drifting off to Harry and my brother.

“What are we gonna do? We can’t leave Hermione alone with her!” A new voice said and Luna and I looked at each other confused.

“Ron?” She asked as she got up and looked around the corner.

“Harry?” She asked and my heart skipped a beat.

“Luna?” Harry asked and a few tears fell down my face.

“Y/N is here too, just this way.” She said. She came back around the corner with Ron and Harry following her.

“Y/N!” Harry said, his face looking a bit odd, but it was definitely him. He ran up and hugged me and I held him back.

“What happened to you? Why are you locked up like this?” He asked, worry clear in his voice

“They tried to get me to tell them where you were…” I answered.

“What did they do to you?” He asked again.

“Grayback…” I whispered and his eyes widened.

“You’re…” He couldn’t finish his sentence.

“I’m just like Remus now…” I whispered.

“I’m so sorry Y/N.” He said and pulled me to him.

“We’ll get you out of here, I promise.

“There’s no way out of here. We’ve tried everything. It’s enchanted.” Ollivander said. He was here before I was, same with Griphook. Harry pulled up his pant leg and pulled out a piece of mirror.

“You’re bleeding, Harry. That’s a curious thing to keep in your sock.” Luna said.

“Help us.” He whispered to it. Then quickly put it away as footsteps grew closer. Ron and Harry ran towards the door as it opened.

“Let her go!” Ron growled.

“Shut up! Get back!” Wormtail growled at them.

“You, goblin, come with me.” He said and then they left.

“Aah!” A new voice said suddenly.

“Dobby? What are you doing here?” Harry asked.

“Dobby has come to rescue Harry Potter, of course.” He answered.

“Dobby will always be there for Harry Potter.” He added.

“You can apparate in and out of this room? Could you take us with you?” Harry asked.

“Of course, sir. I’m an elf.” Dobby answered like it was obvious.

“Works for me.” Ron said.

“Dobby, I want you to take Luna, Y/N, and Mr. Ollivander-”

“Shell Cottage on the outskirts of Tinworth.” Ron cut him off.

“Trust me.” He added.

“Whenever you’re ready, sir.” Luna said.

“Sir? I like her very much.” Dobby said and they made their way over to me.

“Meet me at the top of the stairs in ten seconds.” He said and Luna grabbed my hand. We were suddenly out of the cellar and on a beach. There was a little cottage that was quite cute, I wondered who it belonged to. Luna kneeled next to me and smiled.

“Are you alright?” She asked. I felt my neck and the chain was no longer on my neck, but I felt some blood dripping down from where it dug into my skin.

“I should be, but I shouldn’t be around anyone. The next full moon could be soon for all I know.” I said, slightly freaking out at just the thought of hurting my friends.

“Shh Y/N, we’re free and safe now. Just enjoy that.” She smiled. I suppose she was right, but Harry wasn’t with us yet.

It wasn’t that long until the others arrived. Their landing was a little rougher than ours, however.

“You’re alright. We’re safe. We’re all safe.” Ron said to Hermione.

“Harry Potter.” Dobby said and we all looked at him.

“Dobby. Dobby! No, just… hold on.” Harry said and ran to him, holding him in his arms.

“Hold on. Look, just hold on, okay?” Harry begged.

“We’ll fix you. Hermione will have something. In your bag, Hermione? Hermione? What is it? Help me!” Harry begged, but she didn’t move.

“Such a beautiful place… to be with friends. Dobby is happy to be with his friend… Harry Potter.” Dobby said, his last words he’ll ever speak. No one moved except for Luna.

“We should close his eyes, don’t you think?” She said, kneeling next to them. Harry nodded and she gently closed his eyes.

“There. Now he could be sleeping.” She said.

“I want to bury him. Properly, without magic.” He said and everyone nodded. I got up and made my way to him.

“I’ll help you.” I said and he nodded. We all buried him without magic, but in the end it was just Harry and I left at his grave.

“I’m sorry I didn’t protect you. I should have stopped you from taking that stupid potion.” He said and I shook my head.

“Stop it. This isn’t your fault.” I said.

“Yes it is Y/N, it is entirely my fault! You were brought into this mess because of me!” He said and I hushed him with a kiss.

“Stop it. I love you Harry Potter and I would have done this no matter what. You and Remus are going to blame yourselves for the rest of your lives, but I will not ever blame either of you.” I said and he went to say something, but I stopped him with a kiss.

“Whatever it is, don’t say it.” I said and he sighed.

“Remus is going to kill me.” He said and I shook my head.

“Not if he knows what’s good for him.” I said. That was when everything turned around. I was safe and with Harry and my friends. I’d allow myself these few moments of peace before the full moon came to ruin it again. But for now, I need to focus on the good. I needed to be happy that I was reunited with Harry and my friends.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @schisbro87 @lover-of-books-and-teas @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches2 @genius2050 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @in-slytherin-we-trust @accio-rogers @sambucky8 @bruisedfists-and-splitlips @answer-the-sirens @andreasworlsboring101 @vanessa-kom-skaikru @impulse-anchor @vamora

#Harry Potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter and the deathly hallows part 1 #harry potter x reader #harry potter x fem!reader #harry x reader #Harry x fem!Reader #harry x lupin!reader #harry potter x lupin!reader #Remus Lupin #remus x siser!reader #remus lupin x sister!reader #fanfic #torture #harry potter bingo

119 notes · View notes

dallonm-archive · 3 years

Photo

LIFE CYCLE OF MASSIVE STARS | A CAMP NANO 2021 (RE)-INTRO

CONTENT WARNINGS: death of a parent, classism, anti-autistic ableism, mental illness, trauma, light adult content (nothing explicit)

Genre: literary fiction, contemporary, new adult, ?????, who knows :)

POV: third person present, split POV

Setting: Sheffield, UK. 2020 but i am simply pretending there is no pandemic

Camp Nano Goal: 15,000

Deals With: parental trauma, death, sexuality + gender identity, anti-autistic ableism, classism, complicated family dynamics, the “help i’m in my last year of university and i don’t know what i’m fucking doing or who i am” mood, chloe talks shit about the uk + uk gov for ~80k words straight

The Vibes: rainy days, empty streets at night, libraries at 3am, house parties you shouldn’t be at, misty mornings, highlighter stains, cheap alcohol, city skylines, countryside views, going to big tesco/aldi just to feel something :(

Summary: Thomas’ father died over summer and he doesn’t know how to tell his housemates. Instead, he hides in the IC library or the Botanical Gardens or West Street clubs and decides that he is a blank canvas, and that his trauma can stay with his family in Rotterdam. (it’s not that easy)

Kristen likes to pretend that Uni will last forever. He likes to pretend a lot of things: that nobody will look at him differently when they learn he’s autistic, that people will understand his relationship with gender, that his family isn’t hiding secrets from him about his mother. (it’s not that easy)

Junie thought coming out would come with all the answers. But she only has new questions: what does “lesbian” mean for her? Who is she beyond that? How does she find her place in amongst people who experience the world so differently to her? (it’s not that easy)

Literal Logline: girl help i am still attached to OCs i made in 2013-2016

So if you’ve been following me a while (I say as my blog is only seven months old), you may remember a little wip I introduced here named Patchwork, a new adult novel that dealt with the messy experience that is trying to figure out what it means to be an adult when you’re plunged into the fast-paced adult world of university. That story has always been very close to my heart but it was difficult to progress on because:

I was working on it whilst going through ~the worst time of my life at university~. My second year was already awful before the pandemic started, and the pandemic just made it worse, and since this story is so inherently connected to my own experiences at university I couldn’t work on it whilst dealing with all of that. I’m currently taking the year off until things calm down and I think it’s the perfect chance to sit back and reflect on those experiences, and I think writing this novel would help

I simply was not ready for it! Drafting Revelations, Revelations has really refreshed my perception on novels because it’s taught me that I suit slow-paced, plot-light, discovery written novels the best and the original plan for this novel was way too plot heavy because I thought that’s what I had to do. But it’s not!

But! Whilst this novel and myself needed a lot of growth before I could think about drafting it, I’m at a point where I do feel ready to return to it. I think drafting Revelations, Revelations especially has given me the confidence I needed because I! Really tried to hard to give a heavy plot to this novel initially and I’ve since realised that I work best with slower novels that are really just a snapshot of people’s lives and their emotional growth. I also am at a point where, whilst I know not being there is the best thing right now, I miss University so so so much and I miss pre-pandemic University like I miss lecture halls and cafes and house parties and library all nighters so much it’s unreal!! This novel is practically a love letter to the year I lost as well as calling out the absolutely awful way the UK government has treated University students both before and during this pandemic. I was actually originally going to set this in the pandemic, because I think there are so many conversations that need to be had about the handling of it in this country but I also don’t think I am Ready for that (and I really just want my characters to be able to go outside lol). I think Camp Nano is the perfect kickstart to actually work on this novel because I now know just need to start writing rather than worry about ~plot~ - my plan is to just pants the fuck out of 15000 words and see where the story goes! I probably won’t return to it until I finish drafting Revelations, Revelations, but I appreciate the chance to get a head start + a little break from RR that I think will be needed by April

The biggest and most important change going into this however is: all three protagonists are autistic! I see a lot of posts about how to write autistic characters on here, but I think I’ve only seen one or two stories that actually had an autistic protagonist (if you have a contemporary and/or literary wip with one please please tag me in it! I really want more autistic rep and I want autistic rep from non autistic people too) and, as an autistic, I decided that I Will Simply Create It. All three characters have their own unique relationship with their autism and I am super excited to have a story that can explicitly navigate that whilst it’s not all the story is about, it is an important element as it shapes how our narrators see the world. And whilst there is anti-autistic sentiment they have to deal with, it’s not at the centre of their narratives or autistic stories. They are just autistic and existing and that’s not always easy but it’s ultimately what makes them who they are and they wouldn’t change it for the world. Being autistic is a wonderful thing! I love being autistic! I also would love to talk more about autistic rep on here (unfortunately relevant thanks to a certain movie): my biggest frustration is that it is SO clear that mainstream autistic rep is not actually for us. It perpetuates harmful ideas and only serves as inspiration porn for neurotypicals. They frame our condition on how it impacts others and don’t consult us or let us tell our own stories and pretend we’re all cis white verbal boys with bad social skills. I am only one autistic person, and I cannot write for everyone in the community (please make sure you are listening to and supporting all sorts of autistic people!), but I hope that telling a story influenced by my own will not only help myself but others - and maybe help out any of you that aren’t autistic and are looking to write autistic rep.

The main characters haven’t changed much, but a little re-intro :)

Thomas

studies psychology

bisexual disaster

panic attack! in the library cafe

wannabe plant dad (one of them is named monty :) will monty survive?)

looks like he’d invite you to watch pulp fiction in his dorm but he’s probably never seen it and his favourite movie is probably like. ratatouille

taking italian classes to cope

Junie

studies psychology

16 year old chloe made a pretty girl oc and was like hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me and here we are

bakes to cope

the BEST fashion

lets go on an adventure :) -screams in the forest-

she’s done your birth chart and she is NOT happy

Kristen

studies english and music

the way i literally can’t let go of this bastard and it’s been 8 years

former emo kid who never really got over it

BEST party playlists

often found in the kitchen at 4am making cinnamon rolls

unsupervised access to the internet as a child

i have no taglist for this, but like with NaNoWriMo, i’ll likely do a dedicated taglist for Camp Nano updates and we’ll see where it goes from there! As I said I likely will take a long break from this story after April until I finish drafting Revelations, Revelations, so the taglist will just be for Camp Nano, but I’m excited to spend a month getting to know it and sharing that with y’all so if you’d like to me on a taglist for this, let me know! <3

#i promise my next novel wont be third person present split pov but it is <3 so good <3 #wip intro #amwriting #writeblr #atlastracking #LCOMS #once again i am making a post at 5am and i am also autistic so ignore typos pls <3

57 notes · View notes

florrickandassociates · 3 years

Text

TGF Thoughts: 5x02-- Once there was a court...

Season five is off to a great start. I’m feeling more energized about TGF than I have in ages, maybe since the beginning of season three. After the mostly standalone premiere, I wasn’t sure what to expect from the rest of the season. Episode two introduced a lot of new elements that I’m intrigued by and excited about, so here’s hoping the rest of the season can sustain that energy. (Many) more thoughts under the cut.

And, again, since the most consistent thing about Tumblr is its inability to roll out new features that are actually helpful, here is a link to view the post so you don’t have to read it all on your dash. (Omg, Tumblr, not only do you force people to keep reading on their dashes but you also jump down to the middle of the post when the full version opens? Do you have ANYONE beta test these features?)

Reddick/Lockhart is bustling when the episode opens. The fact they’re calling it Reddick/Lockhart seems like an indication that Liz chose to partner with Diane—it's not. The firm just needs a name, and it can’t have Boseman in it. (The signage still says RBL... for now.)

Everyone in reception is talking animatedly, except for Carmen Moyo, who’s just taking it all in. You might be tempted to read her as nervous. You would be very, very wrong. But we don’t know that now. Right now, it wouldn’t be wrong to assume she’s Maia 2.0. This scene strongly parallels Maia’s first day at the firm (opening with the reception saying “Good morning” and the firm name, then showing new associates waiting for an orientation by David Lee). And in that scene, Maia is absolutely nervous, like you’d expect a new hire might be.

Carmen focuses on another associate’s hand. I assume this is meant to be a parallel to how Maia fidgets with her rosary ring in that initial scene. Carmen then peels a price tag off her portfolio—possibly another Maia parallel, since the portfolio Diane gives Maia is such an important symbol in Maia’s arc.

I also see shades of Alicia and her first scene here—Alicia's silent and focuses on small details (the thread on Peter’s jacket) too.

I don’t say any of this in hopes of comparing Carmen directly to either of those characters. Carmen is not like any other character this show has had before. But these parallels are quite good at establishing character, building intrigue, and showing contrast (even if you don’t see them as parallels, we’re still getting a lot about Carmen just from watching her reactions, even if we don’t yet have the context to understand how to read Carmen). Since I’m now thinking about Maia and Alicia, I’m also now thinking about how Carmen is different from them and triangulating her spot in this universe—that's a good thing. She’s not a copy of either character, but I understand a little more about what the writers are telling me about her from the parallels.

The RBL sign in the background is being taken off the wall. It falls and adds even more chaos to reception.

David Lee walks in and screams, “Stand up! Those seats are for clients.” This is the exact same language he uses in the 1x01 scene; this is definitely an intentional parallel.

Btw Carmen already has more personality than Maia and she’s been in one episode so far! I didn’t hate 1x01 Maia, but I will say that nearly everything that intrigued me about early Maia was that I could project more about Alicia (whom I, obviously, care a lot about) onto her. I can and will compare Carmen to Alicia, but when I do, it won’t be because Carmen is an interesting lens through which to analyze Alicia... it will be because Alicia is interesting precedent to use to understand Carmen.

I still hate Maia, yep.

David Lee accidentally instructs a client to stand and then has to save face, heh.

In David’s tour of the office, we see the partners squabbling. Sounds about right. And STR Laurie is still a thing, which explains why David is there (though not why he is giving a tour).

Throughout the tour, we get a lot of shots of Carmen. Again, she’s silent and looks like she could be nervous. (Spoiler: this is a fakeout and when you rewatch this scene, you can see what new cast member Charmaine Bingwa is doing here—expertly putting on a face that looks like anxiety in one context, but is actually just Carmen calmly sizing things up.)

Marissa eagerly joins the tour. “That’s right. They’re letting you play lawyer, Marissa. How nice,” David says. Carmen takes this in, too. “Fucking prick,” Marissa mutters. Carmen hears.

David Lee introduces “someone from HR” which is a great sign that HR is very effective at this firm.

In the conference room, the partners are still arguing about who should replace Adrian. Diane tries the “all options are open to us and we plan to decide in the next 48 hours” strategy, but this audience is too smart for that. Madeline asks about the new leadership structure. (I am kind of hoping that one nice side effect of having to kind of shoot the season in a COVID bubble will be that we’ll get more small recurring characters. Madeline’s been around for a little while but we’re already seeing her get to do more this year.)

“Diane and I are going to run the firm together. For now,” Liz says. Oh, no, Liz, do not open the door to change. Letting the partners know you’re not sure is probably the worst strategy. You’ve gotta decide or they’ll sense weakness.

“Just the two of you? A black firm being run by a white woman?” a partner asks. “Well, I’m not running it alone. I’m here to assist Liz,” Diane says, trying to deflect. “Really? Because she needs assistance?” he counters. Diane doesn’t know what to say, but she and Liz both know these questions aren’t going to go away.

HR is running an orientation for the new hires and it involves having them all take pieces of toilet paper. Man, I hate ice breakers. Carmen takes a moderate amount and then passes it to Marissa, who takes only one square. Carmen notes this and makes eye contact with Marissa. And this is where it starts to become obvious that Carmen is not nervous—just observant and not chatty. Carmen knows Marissa is one to watch from how David reacted to her presence. She gives Marissa a look that’s meant to be noticed and start a conversation. It works, and Marissa explains that for each square you take, you have to share a fact about yourself. Carmen hates this and hides the rest of the toilet paper so she only has one square.

Liz tries to say there will be a discussion about the partnership, and Daniel (that’s what the captions call him, though they do reference him as “Barry” at one point but I'm like 99% sure I know which actor is Barry and it’s not him) says it feels like they’re just being told what the new state of things is. Liz says she hears him but right now they need a senior associate to backfill Lucca.

Daniel doesn’t think they need one. I don’t get why, unless it has to do with the budget cuts.

“We need someone with real experience to take on her caseload,” Liz notes. Hell yeah you do!

Liz asks if any of the partners want to take over family law. None do.

After the meeting, Liz asks Diane if she can call a head hunter. Diane approves. David Lee pops up to ask which one of them is taking Boseman’s office and they haven’t discussed it yet. I love that they managed to order a sign with their names on it before they’ve talked about how being partners will actually work.

(Also, Adrian’s office is quite obviously going to end up with Liz. And it would be weird if it were Diane, anyway, because it’s Diane’s old office from Lockhart/Gardner and it would look it if she sat there again lol)

David notes that an empty corner office looks like failure. He is correct. He gives them until Friday to decide.

Marissa does not like the ice breaker at all and pointedly notes she only has one secret, and it is that she used to be married to a mime. She makes a whole bit out of it and then whispers to Carmen, “I usually just make things up.”

Carmen’s next and she finally gets to speak her first words of the series. You know who else didn’t speak at all in her first scene? Alicia Florrick. Very different scenes, but I can’t help but think this is intentional. From what I’ve seen of Carmen, both she and Alicia use silence strategically and are comfortable with quiet. Alicia’s first scene is silent because she doesn’t need to use words to be expressive, but it does establish that she’s going to be a character with a lot of internal thoughts she won’t vocalize and that she’s observant and tries to maintain composure. Sure, you can watch the first scene of Pilot and just see a woman who’s stunned into silence, but when you watch it knowing Alicia and realize how much of the essential parts of her character are in her totally silent intro sequence that kicks off the show... it’s kind of amazing.

So comparing Carmen’s introduction to that? I mean this as a huge compliment. Carmen deploys silence for reasons both similar and different to Alicia. While Alicia uses silence to maintain some kind of boundary between her inner thoughts and the outside world, Carmen uses it to get a chance to observe and take things in without showing her cards. (We do see Alicia do that as well, especially at work, but I would call this a side-effect of Alicia being a quiet person rather than her intention; Carmen seems to be more conscious of how she uses her silence.)

Carmen is from Victorville, California. That means nothing to me but I’m sure there’s some significance. Carmen mimics Marissa’s response when asked for her secrets—she also responds with, “secret,” emphasizing she only has one. But what she says next also shows her in contrast to Marissa. She says her secret is she hates games. We already know so much about her and she’s said like ten words!

I think it’s smart to set Carmen up as a contrast to other characters. I know who Carmen is not because of how she differs from more familiar presences like Alicia, Maia, and Marissa. Marissa hates ice breakers, but her reaction to them is to use them as an opportunity to say something funny and over the top. Many others (including probably both Alicia and Maia) would likely resent the activity but play along and say something unremarkable (I could see Alicia overthinking it and sharing something surprisingly quirky though!). Carmen just does not give a fuck, and in a different way than Marissa doesn’t give a fuck. Marissa insinuates that she thinks the whole activity is stupid... Carmen just flat out says it. I would not pull this move on my first day of a new job! And that is the point—who is this person who is so self-assured she’s willing to insult HR on her very first day of her very first job as a lawyer?

ALL OF THIS FROM A FEW WORDS AND SOME WELL-ACTED GLANCES! As I said, I’m very intrigued by Carmen. I have some questions about the logistics of this plot, her endgame, and how she’ll function when brought into the firm drama/debate plots, but for now, I only have good things to say.

Liz interrupts the ice breaker to announce that everyone will be assigned a mentor. She then pauses to greet Marissa, which Carmen, again, notices. Liz is really there to say that they’ll be working on client maintenance that day, and each new hire will get to help with one of their clients. When she reads off their top clients, all the hands shoot up—except Carmen’s.

Madeline’s last name is Gilford. Noted. John’s last name is Wilson.

No one raises their hand to assist with Oscar Rivi, who is in a maximum-security prison. Carmen confidently raises her hand.

Barry’s last name is Poe. Noted.

Marissa and Carmen exchange glances. Super curious to see how this evolves. There are too many Marissa/Carmen exchanges in this episode for the writers to not plan to have them interact more in the future.

I’m kind of loving that it seems like the show’s leads are now Diane, Liz, Marissa, and Carmen. Diane’s obviously great, Liz is someone who’s been deserving of leading material for ages, Carmen seems interesting, and I’m so impressed they have managed to make Marissa, usually good in small doses, into a character who can handle larger plots without wearing on my patience (like that awful Elsbeth centric episode of Wife).

Diane has a client who received a summons directly, which Diane finds strange. But, since she is already working with this client on the same case (teaching kids during COVID) in another court, Diane is optimistic about this second suit. She thinks it could set a good precedent.

Diane introduces Phoebe, an associate who will help out on the case. Diane says she’s not personally going because it’s a formality and Diane needs to work on the brief. I’m like 99% sure Diane isn’t personally going because Diane’s role here is to convince the client she’s getting senior-level attention while having junior people do the work, but nice story!

Diane asks Marissa to go along with Phoebe. Marissa thinks she’s going to get to argue in court... Diane says no, Marissa gets to hand hold a client.

Oscar Rivi is basically Lemond Bishop, which is the only explanation I have for why RL would represent him. And, you’ll recall, I didn’t understand why RL would represent Bishop either. But we’ll just have to go with it.

(I think representing multiple drug lords is probably a bigger PR issue for RL than having a white partner! How come no one ever talks about this! Actually, new complaint: wasn’t Liz, who now has more power than before, the one who was most against representing Bishop?)

(I guess it may make sense that she’d be more okay with this Rivi dude than Bishop. Whatever Rivi’s done, I don’t think he’s threatened Liz’s kid like Bishop did!)

(Also, I’m fine with them switching it up and suddenly having this new drug kingpin. Mike Colter is obviously unavailable since he’s a lead on Evil, and I was tired of Bishop anyway. If the writers stop using Bishop and Sweeney as shorthands for corruption I will be very happy; I don’t think there’s much more mileage left there. Speaking of, Dylan Baker popped up in 2x02 of Evil!)

“I don’t want you to be intimidated,” Barry tells Carmen as they arrive at Rivi’s prison. Carmen reads articles about Rivi on her phone, saying she’s taking notes. Barry tells Carmen to “sit, listen, leave.” But then he discovers his ID is expired (he didn’t get it renewed during the pandemic) and he can’t go visit Rivi as a result. Carmen says she’s fine alone—she'll sit, listen, leave. She’s calm and not at all cocky as she says it, and it really takes until she’s actually talking with Rivi to realize that she’s not (just?) a hypercompetent law school grad trying to impress. She doesn’t seem to care at all what people, no matter how powerful, think of her, as long as she’s able to find security of any sort. (Tbh, it is kind of amazing she doesn’t get fired in this episode.)

(I’m getting ahead of myself but in Alicia’s first ep, she also changes up strategies on the partners. Alicia does it almost without realizing she’s gone against their wishes—she's just sure of the right strategy—and Carmen does it much more intentionally.)

Marissa and Phoebe can’t locate Judge Wackner’s court. Marissa asks a security guard she’s friendly with (of course she is) for help. He says there’s no Judge Wackner there, and the security guard notices that it’s a summon for a “9 ¾ Circuit.” The guard laughs at the Harry Potter reference; Marissa is not amused. They leave the courthouse when Marissa spots a sign for “9 ¾". She follows the sighs down an alley. Phoebe wants nothing to do with this; Marissa and the client are intrigued. They end up in a store called Copy Coop and are directed to a warehouse.

In the warehouse, an argument is resolved through Rock, Paper, Scissors. Then it’s Marissa’s turn. She asks for a continuance just like she was supposed to, but she uses the wrong phrasing. Judge Wackner notices. That’s when Marissa notes she’s not a lawyer, and Wackner responds that he’s not a licensed judge. So it’s fine that Marissa isn’t a lawyer.

Marissa tries to protest again that she’s not a lawyer, and Wackner basically tells her to proceed anyway. The client wants to stay, weird as this fake court seems.

Carmen reads with Rivi. She stares at him, getting him to speak first. His translator asks if there’s another lawyer with her; she just introduces herself. The translator does a terrible job of translating Rivi’s complaints, sharing very little of what Rivi said with Carmen.

Unsurprisingly (to me at least, because scenes like this ALWAYS have the twist where a character doesn’t let on that they speak the language until the exact right moment), Carmen speaks Spanish.

She lets Rivi know she speaks Spanish AND insults the translator in one go. Pretty big move. That gets Rivi’s attention and he kicks out the translator. He asks who she is and she repeats her name again (characters reacting like this will never not remind me of “Who are you?” “Kalinda.”).

Carmen notes that she’s just out of law school, explaining that’s why she’s eager to help. She doesn’t reveal that by mistake—she's using it to her advantage.

Credits! As I predicted, things are blowing up again this week like normal. No more kittens and puppies. There’s a new couch that blows up in the credits. Wackner’s desk also makes it in. I can’t remember if the purses were in this position before; they might be new. All the exploding TVs show footage of January 6th (which I hear is going to be a major theme of the season, though it’s not heavily featured in this episode). And the zoomed in shot of the closet (that I’ve never really liked) is gone, as is the falling curtain!

I still hate the font of the logo for this show. I also don’t understand why the show seems to have three logos—the one that’s the TGW logo but with “fight”, the one in the credits, and whatever the one they’ve come up with for this season’s marketing materials is. I like that they’re trying with the marketing of this season but I don’t get why the show has three logos.

While I’m talking about the marketing, can we just talk about the “Goodbye Lucca” graphic the official social media account posted? It had a fucking crown drawn over her head like this is a 2013 Tumblr shitpost!!! Who are they targeting with this?! WHO ARE THEY MARKETING TO? DOES THIS WORK ON ANYONE??? It literally says, “Chi-Town” on it. I cringed so hard. Sometimes I feel like the marketing of this show is meant to cater to the people who would, like, watch the credits of last week’s episode and be like, “Yes! It IS all now puppies and kittens! Everything bad in the world has been resolved!”

But hey, at least it’s better than the absolute trash they used to post for TGW. Remember when there’d be episodes about Alicia making career moves and they’d be like, “#TeamPeter or #TeamWill????”

OR, OR OR OR, the fucking time they tried to crosspromote TGW and the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show (yes) with a tweet that read, “All ‘Saint Alicia’ needs is a pair of wings&she practically turns into an Angel.” I... have no words.

Hey, Caleb is back! I was not expecting them to actually wrap up his arc with Liz. I think I’m actually pretty thankful it’s ending like this—he comes back for what I assume is one last episode and I don’t actually have to deal with the Liz/Caleb plot. Apparently the writers were setting that up so they could do some plots about power dynamics and interracial couples and who is seen as having power. Caleb and Liz were going to have an encounter with the police, who were going to listen to Caleb instead of Liz even though this encounter would’ve taken place in Liz’s house and Liz is the name partner and Caleb the employee. Interesting enough, but anything boss/employee just squicks me out and I don’t need it around and Liz deserves better.

But I did like Caleb as a character, so I’m glad he gets an exit, unlike past characters who have just disappeared. (Remember Robyn Burdine? Or that time Taye Diggs was a major character for two seconds?)

Liz was NOT expecting to see Caleb as a candidate for Lucca’s old role. Things are instantly awkward. I guess Caleb left STR Laurie?

Diane immediately senses that things are awkward with Liz and Caleb. Caleb is very professional throughout all this. Diane gets an important call and leaves the room, so Caleb and Liz can chat privately.

Caleb says he thought Liz was reaching out; Liz says she should’ve reached out but things ended abruptly. Love that Caleb checks that no one else is in the room with Liz before getting even more personal. He says they should just act like nothing ever happened between them and Liz asks if he can do that. “I’m the employee. Of course I can,” he says. This is why you don’t sleep with employees.

He says he really does want the job and he liked the firm. Liz says she’ll talk to Diane. Caleb says if it doesn’t work out he’ll be fine.

Phoebe tells Diane about 9 ¾ and Diane does not understand... at all. “If it has no power, and it doesn’t have jurisdiction, what does it have?” Diane wonders.

A little more on the case: RL is representing a woman who taught a small group of students during the pandemic, and some parents are suing her for preaching socialism at the children.

The woman suing did NOT like being called a Karen by her daughter or being compared to the family from Parasite. She wants a refund.

Marissa objects and makes up her own grounds, realizing that since it’s not a real court, she can object for any reasons she wants—as long as they follow common sense.

These scenes could so easily feel ridiculous, like a gag that goes on for too long. They do not. There’s just enough zany humor and theatrics to make the 9 ¾ court feel surreal. And, most helpfully, Wackner is a GREAT judge. He is engaged with the work and only concerned with the facts and arguments rather than politics. He’s tough but fair. He’s direct and he maintains control over his court. He’d be one of the best judges in a normal court. His sincerity is enough to make you wonder why courts DON’T operate like this. It’s easy to see why the characters are sold on this BS-free, rational, and effective system, even if it makes no sense that it would exist and it has no power. It’s simultaneously idealistic (if only things were resolved fairly) and threatening (how can something like this exist?! What does it mean that the real courts are so ineffective that there’s a need for something like this?! What happens if this goes beyond what are basically mediations for simple issues?).

This type of thought experiment is where TGF excels. I think they were going for something like this with Memo 618 (which hasn’t gone away!), but that arc always felt like it was on the verge of going off the rails. Mandy Patinkin’s performance and the writing for the 9 ¾ court already have me more invested in this than I was in Memo 618.

Marissa tries yet again to wait for help to arrive, but Wackner insists that they keep things moving. She tries to stall and ends up referencing George Clooney. Wackner cuts through that, too—he hates speeches “unless I'm giving them, and even then I’m just trying to stall.” Then he holds up a sign that reads, “CUT THE SHIT” and the audience laughs. He says this isn’t the kind of court where you can just run out the clock. Kind of ridiculous that real court IS that kind of court, no? (And that’s why this is an effective device so far.) (I say so far because I have watched content from these writers for long enough to know that things that work in small doses or initially can go wildly off the rails.)

Marissa changes strategies and does what she does best: she goes on instinct and adjusts her strategy as she goes. She eventually catches the woman accusing her client of teaching socialism in a lie about Parasite. It’s very Legally Blonde and very smart of Marissa. And I’m rather proud of myself for seeing what Marissa was doing (getting the woman to commit to a time frame and then baiting her to talk about a moment that proved the time frame fake) before she revealed what she was doing.

Sarah Steele is so good in this scene. I love her smile when she realizes the woman took the bait, and that she reacts with “AHA!” instead of something more proper. This is pretty much the perfect court for Marissa.

Diane and Jay arrive; are confused.

Carmen leaves Rivi after quite a bit of time has passed, making Barry nervous. Carmen tells him very little and repeats that she sat, listened, and left. She told the translator to go fuck himself (almost in those words) so she’s gotta know that Barry will hear what happened from someone. She does not care. She lies to Barry like it’s nothing.

Diane does not understand the 9 ¾ court, nor does she understand why a non-lawyer like Marissa is arguing. She does not understand why losing in this venue would matter or why a lawyer she knows (ha, I looked him up to see if he’d been on Wife or Fight before, and he has... as a totally different character!) is there.

“Okay, I’m losing my mind. Look, this is not legal. We have got to get out of here,” Diane says. Toni, the client, wants to stay.

I don’t actually know the answer to this—would there be repercussions to someone who is a member of the bar participating in something like this? Everyone knows it’s not real or binding, so nothing is being misrepresented, but this FEELS illegal?

Toni notes that a lot of people suing her are there watching, so walking out or losing would look bad. She also likes Judge Wackner because he is “better than the judges in real court.”

“Diane, what is real?” the client asks when Diane points out again that this court is fake. The client’s spent 8 months on this case in limbo, so this feels like reality to her. Fair point.

Diane chats with the other lawyer and asks what he’s doing here. He says he’s getting paid—with business down and court dockets backlogged (how much would that affect a large firm that settles most cases out of court? I’m actually curious about this), it’s a good source of money.

Diane realizes it’s basically arbitration. Then says she doesn’t understand anything anymore. The other lawyer replies, “Sure you do. That’s why this is throwing you. Welcome to 2021.” Yup.

Diane goes with it. A former teacher is on the stand. He’s got a grudge and wants money, so he’s helping out. He tries to say something that is the most obvious hearsay ever... and Wackner has no problem with it. Marissa likes that.

Wackner basically says he’s fine with hearsay because he can use his brain to figure out what’s real and what’s fake, just like we all do every day. Crosstalk is also allowed.

Wackner also doesn’t allow for bullshit breaks where lawyers tell clients what to say, because he “likes the truths found in sudden utterances.” All his rules make a lot of sense. They are all also counter to every single sneaky legal strategy these characters tend to use.

Toni made a comment that she “couldn’t fall in love with anyone who voted for Trump.” That gives a point to the plaintiff. Diane notes that this belief is shared with most of the country, and Wackner asks her if she shares it. “I’m not the question,” Diane replies, because she definitely doesn’t want to talk about her husband who worked in the Trump administration.

Wackner flat out tells Diane that Marissa should argue instead of her. “Marissa is not a lawyer,” Diane tries to say. “Well, I’m not a judge!” Wackner responds. And that’s it for the day.

Diane asks Jay for intel, and then we get one of the most effective Jay scenes in a while—he bonds with the Copy Coop security guard, who only has good things to say about Wackner. I like how the writers use COVID in this episode—they treat it like it’s recent past (fingers crossed) and reference it when it makes sense, like how the courts are backlogged, or this guard was laid off.

The security guard notes that he thinks Wackner is building something good in his spare time. He also notes that Wackner is a big Grateful Dead fan.

Carmen takes it upon herself to visit someone else in prison to help Rivi. She points out they’re under surveillance and convinces this other dude to take the fall for Rivi so he can go free. It’s very smart. I assume this is all her own strategy, as we see her look up this other dude before she’s even met with Rivi, though it’s possible Rivi came up with some of it.

There is something about Carmen’s demeanor when she deals with clients that is very Alicia-like in interesting ways. She’s very direct and unflappable in a way that people seem to take to (remember how all the creeps loved Alicia?), and she only shows emotion when she decides to. The similarities stop there. Carmen doesn’t seem remorseful or conflicted (Alicia always did). Sociopathic definitely isn’t the right word for her, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say it didn’t cross my mind. Carmen knows that her clients are bad guys. That doesn’t trouble her. And she doesn’t try to take the easy way out—she does more than she needs to. I don’t know what she’s really trying to do here, but I suspect she does.

Carmen is 28, just fyi.

Liz gets a call from Charles Lester. Obviously, Lester now works for Rivi, because Rivi is New Bishop. (Usually I’m a bit against saying any character is the new version of an old one, like how Lucca was not the new Kalinda (even if she was brought in to bring new energy to the space Kalidna occupied) or how Carmen is not the new Lucca (same), but I’m pretty comfortable saying Rivi is New Bishop. He’s not the same personality, but he... is New Bishop.)

Lester notes that Rivi only wants to meet with Carmen from now on. Liz does not understand this and she’s not thrilled with it. She notes that Carmen is a first year who has been there for two days, but she doesn’t want to lose Rivi’s business so she goes along with it. Was that Carmen’s endgame? Job security? Does she not care about the RL job and see a good opportunity to... just represent Rivi without a firm behind her? I can’t tell.

(This is where I could see this arc faltering. I get why Liz keeps Carmen on—she doesn’t want to lose the client—but I don’t really understand why Liz wants Rivi as a client. Losing Carmen who’s been there for two days and Rivi who she probably doesn’t want to represent seems like a fine outcome to me. And, beyond that, if Carmen doesn’t care about the firm and also doesn’t need them, what’s in it for her to stay? I don’t think she really cares that the firm would have more resources to use in defending Rivi. Like, why isn’t the outcome here just that Carmen teams up with Lester and leaves RL behind?)

Diane listens to the Grateful Dead and writes down lyrics she can use in court. Kurt gets home from work. Diane asks him if he thinks she should give up her name partnership since it’s a black firm. Kurt asks if she’s the best lawyer there. She says no, but she’s one of the best, and besides, it’s a bad look and she wants to do what’s right for the firm. “You and I disagree on so much. You obviously ask my opinion because you know that I will argue something you know you won’t,” Kurt says. This is a very good, and very accurate, response.

Diane keeps going, though. Kurt plays along and starts talking about identity politics. Diane starts debating back, ignoring that Kurt is not really wanting to play devil’s advocate. Kurt doesn’t give Diane an easy out and tells her she’s right—she should step aside. That’s not what she wanted to hear. Kurt laughs and then goes to take a shower.

Liz is eyeing Adrian’s office when Carmen walks up. She’s invited Carmen to talk to her. She asks her how things are going. Carmen just wants to know if she did something wrong. Carmen says she likes the firm and it’s great to be out of the legal clinics.

Liz shares the news that Rivi only wants Carmen going forward. Carmen is pleased and says that’s surprising... though she looks more pleased than surprised.

Liz suggests maintaining a professional distance, to which Carmen replies “I’m very professional.” “Oh, I don’t doubt it,” Liz tries to backtrack. “Is the firm dissatisfied with my work?” Carmen asks bluntly. Liz says no. “It’s my intention to treat all my clients like humans. Even the ones who might be murderers, or definitely are murderers. And I think Mr. Rivi might be responding to that because it’s something that he hasn’t received at this firm previously,” Carmen notes. This is QUITE the tone to take with your boss.

One question I have—and this is mostly inspired by the recap at I think Vulture?-- is to what extent Carmen knows what she’s doing. It seems like a lot. I can’t tell how much Carmen knows vs how much Carmen THINKS she knows. She’s definitely smart, and I don’t think she is an idealist (when she says her intention is to treat her clients like humans, she means that’s her strategy), but she is young and new to the law and only out for herself, which makes her vulnerable.

Liz does not take well to Carmen’s talk and notes she’s talking about her personal safety. Carmen thanks her and says she’d understand if Liz doesn’t want her on the case.

There is something a little unnerving about Carmen. She keeps saying things that are boldly inappropriate but masked by how professional and correct her arguments sound (like the line about treating clients like humans). And she has a way of gaining power over a conversation. Liz squirms way too much in that conversation and loses some of her control as a result.

I just need to know more about her!!! The fact that I can’t understand her makes her immediately interesting.

Diane and Liz interview Julius for Lucca’s position. They all know it would be a demotion for him, but they’re seriously considering it. I feel like this would look awful for the firm and they are going to handwave it anyway after a few lines about how bad it would look.

Diane quotes the Grateful Dead in court and it works. The other lawyer tries to quote songs too... it does not work.

Carmen gets Rivi a bunch of candy bars from the court vending machine so he can have a snack he enjoys. The security guard doesn’t want to let Rivi eat them, but Carmen is right that this is permissible. The guard smashes the bars in defeat. Carmen opens one for Rivi.

It is a little distracting to see the main characters pretend that COVID is in the past when the extras have masks, but honestly, that’s kind of what life is like right now?

Carmen zones out a little in court—not sure if she just does that or if she is trying to look unfamiliar with the rules so people will go easy on her/have low expectations. I think it’s a combination of both, considering that we’ve seen her laser-focus on things elsewhere in the episode AND she tells the judge it is her first day in court.

Court stuff happens; Carmen’s strategy works.

The judge tries to give Carmen advice and a warning. Liz is also there, watching, which is good because I was shocked anyone would let Carmen do this unsupervised.

Carmen is also kind of like if you removed all of Maia’s worst traits (her selfishness, her spoiled brat attitude, her sense of entitlement) and skipped right to her willingness to partner with Blum.

Liz and Carmen talk again, this time about the reputation of the firm. Liz notes that Carmen is clearly capable and reminds her sternly that she needs to conduct herself in a manner that does not put the firm at risk and that’s the only reminder she’s going to get. Carmen twirls a pen and stares at it instead of listening to Liz. She says she’s just listening like she’s perfectly innocent. It’s the right thing to say and, again, it’s SUPER UNNERVING.

“Wow. You really don’t give a shit what people think about you, do you?” Liz says in frustration. “I’m here to do a good job for my clients,” Carmen notes. Is she??? Does she just not care who she’s representing and want to do a good job, and that’s her whole motivation?? I would find that interesting but I need more to believe it. She’s so perplexing.

(Again, I don’t really get why Liz hasn’t fired her, because if she and Carmen keep having these interactions, Liz IS going to end up ceding all of her power and looking weak. But maybe Liz is as intrigued as I am.)

Liz also tells Carmen she’s going to be her mentor. Carmen says thanks and that she respected Liz’s father. Liz does NOT take that well. Audra’s reaction—a mix of shock, irritation, and confusion—is perfect here. I think Carmen is trying to say that she respected Carl Reddick—but she has no such respect for Liz. (It could also be about the sexual harassment, but I don’t think that’s public knowledge.)

I noticed earlier that the courtroom was #305 and was wondering why they chose that number (it’s similar to Courtroom 302, the book that inspired the bond court arc, which is why 305 stuck in my mind). I see now that the Copy Coop’s address is 305. Heh.

Turns out that the woman suing Toni is someone who would break COVID protocol and be generally terrible. I’m shocked.

Wackner decides to skip closing arguments and rule. He sides with Toni.

See, this is where this kind of thing is dangerous. Wackner is great and fair. But you can’t really replicate a system like this (though I also think this system would fail if replicated on too large of a scale; the reason it works is that everyone involved is buying into it and if it were to be corrupted no one would buy into it unless forced to—and if people are forced to buy into an extrajudicial system then that’s its own problem). What if some other judge were to just decide to skip closing arguments or decide suddenly a trial was over? That could be unfair in so many different ways.

After the resolution of the case there’s clapping and even Diane is surprised at how reasonable the verdict was.

Wackner then insists that everyone shake hands because “the thing we all crave most is respect and acknowledgement.” They also have to say, “I respect and I love you.” And they do! And no one even seems that unhappy with it Marissa and Toni are super into it.

And, someone in the gallery wants to get Marissa’s number because she did such a good job. Yep, sounds about right.

Diane fills Liz in, and Liz can’t believe it. Liz wants to hire Wackner (jokingly). Then she says she wants Julius since they know and trust him. Diane’s good with that, but she also chooses this moment to playfully let on that she knows Liz slept with Caleb. We’ve seen Diane observe Liz’s reaction to Caleb/mentions of Caleb all episode, and I don’t think it’s coincidental that Diane brings this up now, and in a friendly way. Diane doesn’t need to bring it up. I don’t think Diane needs the answer. I think she just wants to throw Liz off without making it obvious that’s what she’s doing.

I really, really hate to say it, because my whole thing about this season is wanting to see Liz be a great manager, but I don’t... actually think... Liz is a great manager? She’s second-guessing herself far too much. She’s more thrown in this scene than Carmen, who has like two days of experience, is by anything she encounters. And worse, she doesn’t hide it when she’s thrown. I think Liz is very smart and capable, but this episode is a pretty good case for why she might not be able to manage alone.

I know I’ve said that I want to see Liz manage and think she’d be good at it. I still think she could be. But I’ve also tended to think that Liz is a good manager and Adrian talks down at her, and I’ve dismissed some of her less strategic ideas as the fault of the Adrian/Liz dynamic. But nothing in this episode seems out of character, so now I’m less sure. (And to be clear, Liz not being a great manager isn’t a problem with the show, it’s actually pretty interesting to me.)

(Here are some of the things Liz has done in this episode alone that she needs to stop doing to be more effective: 1) Everything about her reaction to Caleb (and the fact she slept with him-- and yes I would, and did, say this about Will too so this is not a double standard!) 2) Not having a clear plan when meeting with the partners, even though she—and not Diane—is the one who is seen as having power. 3) Not being able to hold her own nearly as well as she should be able to with Carmen. I’m curious to see how the other partners hold up, and in fairness to Liz, I may be able to make this criticism of any character who doesn’t just immediately fire Carmen.)

And, I say all of this now because Diane in this scene is SO smart and SO strategic. She mentions Caleb to disarm Liz, then casually notes that she thinks Liz should take the corner office since it’s a black firm.

Liz isn’t sure if she should thank Diane for that (it is a little patronizing) but she does anyway.

Diane has another “last thing” to say, and it’s that she wants to bring on another partner, a black one. She wants to be in the discussion and to retain a name partner position. Liz says yes, as long as she has any power over the decision. This is a very smart move for Diane. It’s a compromise that’s to her benefit, and she makes the request of Liz at exactly the right time. I think Diane likes Liz as a person and wants to work with her, but she’s definitely buttering her up. This is kind of like an audition to show Liz that she should stick with Diane—Diane will be friendly with her! Diane won’t judge (but definitely knows about!) her indiscretions. Diane is reasonable and not power-hungry! Diane is understanding!

(And again, to be clear, I don’t think Liz is falling for Diane’s trap or anything. If Diane is smart enough to plan all this out, Diane is absolutely someone you’d want to keep on as a name partner. It’s just that Diane showing how smart she is, is a pretty stark contrast to Liz getting disrespected by a first-year associate.)

(And, because I feel like I'm being quite harsh on Liz, I don’t think Liz has handled the Carmen situation badly... yet. I just see signs that Carmen is able to shift the balance of power in her favor without really trying, and that Liz is getting flustered. I think Liz mentioning the mentorship is a way of Liz asserting power, and I think/hope that now that Liz knows the situation, she will try to regain control. And, I could very easily see this same plot happening but with Diane—it's just that there are a few other plots where Liz seems flustered in this episode alone, so it feels like a pattern. I’ll be looking out for more of this.)

Marissa and Carmen, both with large folders of casework, get in an elevator together. “So. I guess it begins,” Marissa says as the episode ends. I very much want to see more of Marissa and Carmen interacting. Mostly, I just want to see what Carmen does when she’s in situations that aren’t about representing a client or defending her work. I know what type of lawyer and employee she is, but who is she as a person?

Wow, this might be the most I’ve written about characters on TGF—as opposed to plots—in quite a while. I think that’s what has me so excited about this season. Carmen is interesting as a character because she’s so unique (or, perhaps, because she feels so much like a part of this universe yet so little like any other character—that's why I keep trying to compare her to others and find out where to place her). The 9 ¾ court is interesting because Wackner is so grounded, because it challenges Diane’s sense of reality in a way that’s new and interesting (this whole series is about making reality seem like it’s shifting under your feet; this is a new take on a familiar theme), and because it is a great match for Marissa’s personality and will give her a lot of opportunities for growth. It seems like we’re heading for some interesting material with Diane and Kurt, and there’s been a little bit of a tense undercurrent in their interactions in these first two episodes—I truly can’t tell if it’s supposed to be part of their banter or if there are mounting frustrations; I think the former but could see it being the latter. And, as I’d hoped, Liz is getting a lot more material.

#tgf thoughts #the good fight

19 notes · View notes

northernscruffycat · 3 years

Text

Tagged by @101flavoursofweird

I’ll tag @pandirpus @krokonoko @my-artblog-is-ssjumi @yallemagne @amberrgalaxy @swamp-y and anyone else who wants to do this. But this is a pretty long one, so don’t feel like you have to :3 (On that note, I’ll be putting most of this under a cut for exactly that reason)

How many works do you have on AO3?

131 at the moment. But some of those are different oneshots from FFN that I posted into one fic when porting over to AO3, so I’d be fascinated by what the actual amount of fanfics I’ve written is.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

1242922 words

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Just counting what’s on AO3, so far I’ve written for 17 fandoms. They are: Free!, Professor Layton, Hades Game, Steven Universe, Pokemon, Ace Attorney, Yu-Gi-Oh DM, Yu-Gi-Oh GX, Yu-Gi-Oh 5d’s, Sonic the Hedgehog, Super Mario, Dr. Stone, Tintin, Night in the Woods, GetBackers, Good Omens and Cooking Mama What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

‘just wanted to write a fic where senku says ‘get excited’ during sex’ (My SenGen oneshot that gets a wave of attention whenever a new chapter or episode of Dr. Stone comes out)

‘laughable’ (An Ares/Hypnos oneshot I wrote purely as a sample for a zine app and underestimated how popular that ship is lol)

‘the prince with specific tastes; the king with specific regrets’ (THAT Theseus fic. My absolute fave thing I’ve ever written)

‘Shallow Grave, Shallow Bae’ (A Reigisa fic based on Octopimp’s 50% Off! abridged series of Free!; I honestly do think this fic slaps and I’m glad folks like it)

‘Barrel of Monkeys’ (The AsaIku & KisuHiyo collab fic I wrote with Amber that was a lotta fun and I’d love to do something like this with them again one day for a different fandom. Also, I feel like we captained the small KisuHiyo fandom with this fic back in the day)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I generally respond to comments. Almost always, unless I really can’t think of anything to say in reply, which is pretty rare. Comments make me so happy and I just want to let people who do comment know that I appreciate them.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I think the angstiest fic I wrote was a Free! fic called ‘Moves Across the Land’ - the premise of which is that Makoto died as a young adult of an illness and each chapter is a different person in his life receiving a letter that he wrote for them before he died. But that one had an optimistic ending, with Haru and Kisumi unexpectedly finding a newly strengthened friendship in sharing the grief of Makoto’s death. So I guess technically the angstiest ending I wrote was a short Archie/Maxie oneshot where Maxie gets killed by Kyogre lol

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes, but I ended up agreeing with it! Waaay back (probably more that 10 years ago at this point), I wrote a bunch of Layton/Rosetta oneshots that I now don’t stand by. One of them, in my naivety, I went too far with and breached uncomfortable territory. I got a couple of comments about how uncomfortable it was, so I ended up deleting that particular fic and felt better after it was gone.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I am a fledgling at writing smut, which is probably obvious to anyone who’s read my smut haha. When I do write it, I prefer to focus on the dialogue between the characters - I like a banterous smut scene. Also, they’re usually pretty tame. I like writing about handjobs, blowjobs and wanking the most when I do write smut.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not that I know of, but that would be awesome! A few years ago, a kind person messaged me about potentially translating my Layton fic ‘Grasping Liquid’ into French, but I don’t think they went through with it in the end. Though honestly, the dialogue and slang in that fic is pretty much illegible in English, so I reckon it’d be a tough fic to translate.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, the aforementioned ‘Barrel of Monkeys’ that I co-wrote with @amberrgalaxy It was a lot of fun and I love it :D

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Hmm... I don’t think I have a single all time favourite. I jump through a lot of OTPs and they always mean a lot to me, but it wouldn’t seem fair to pick out a single one that’s always shined brighter than the others, because that’s not really how my hyperfixations work. But my current favourite ships are Momus/Heracles (to be narcissistic) and TheseZag from Hades Game. While my oldest ship that I’m still invested in is Yami/Seto from Yu-Gi-Oh DM.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Shockingly, I don’t have any right now. A few years ago (I think 2018?), I made a point of going back and finishing ALL my old WIPs that I’d left hanging but intended to finish, even for fandoms I didn’t plan on going back to. So that freed my conscience of them and felt pretty good. At the moment, my only WIP is ‘if found please return to the underworld’ - an AU where Zagreus does make it to Olympus, so Hades sends Theseus, Asterius and Meg to try to get him back. But I’ve only just started writing that one, so I do hope to stick with it until it’s finished.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. Definitely dialogue. I’m told that I capture the canon voices of characters pretty well and that’s always what I’m trying the hardest to get right, so it means a lot to me. I also feel like I’m good at keeping a fic flowing, without being bogged down by too much detail. But the downside of that is that I often sacrifice description, so I still hope to find the balance. Since Hades Game has more flowery prose than I’m used to, I think getting into that series actually helped me with this.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I do not think I am experienced enough to be able to pull this off well and would worry too much about making mistakes.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

It was Pokemon, but those fics aren’t online anymore. The oldest fics you can still find buried somewhere with my name attached to them are Sonic fics.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

‘the prince with specific tastes; the king with specific regrets’ - Sometimes I look back at that fic and wonder if I actually wrote it, since I avoided falling into all of my usual traps: I researched it properly and frequently, I kept the focus on the five main characters instead of getting distracted by introducing a million other character like I usually do, I plotted the fucker out from start to finish instead of winging it, and I worked the flashbacks into it in a way that balanced the present-day out instead of distracting from it. Also, I got the whole thing written in about two months, instead of staling for years. ...Whatever possessed me when I wrote that fic, please come back. (It was the first time I’d had two weeks off together in about three years, so I think that had a lot to do with it) OH YEAH and that same kinda villain OC who I recycle in every fandom I’m in actually landed this time. It brought me so much joy to see how much people loved to hate Momus. Those two months when I was posting that fic are easily a highlight of my life. :D

#*Talking #*About Me #*Writing #*Hades Game #*Dr. Stone #*Free Iwatobi Swim Club #*Professor Layton

7 notes · View notes

dr-transparents · 3 years

Text

In the last 6ish hours we have gotten 6 asks about Killer Killer and I’m gonna answer them in one post to not spam. The first few answers will be briefer than they should, probably, because my laptop fucking died in the middle of writing this post. Pain

-Mod Firanka

Right, so like Junko was more of a broad inspirational type, the “sweet” while Mukuro was the “ugly” not in looks, but in actions. A genuine danger to Junko’s plans, with more of a lasting influence without even trying. Like Isaac from Castlevania. A willing tool who would raze the world if they figured out they could be the hand holding the knife rather than the knife being wielded. And they really like being a knife. Mukuro was the one who actually did things for Junko. All the murdering, all the butchering, all the violence, and not being brainwashed, not one bit. No regret to her actions, not one bit.

I haven't played Castlevania!

Anyways, that's an interesting POV. Unfortunately I can't remember what I typed here and nothing comes to mind. I sorta agree but I don't have any arguments anymore. Sorry about that.

Firanaka, I must know. What were your thoughts when Killer Killer indicated that Mukuro Ikusaba was still alive / had broken out? Like initially. What were you thinking? At first? After reading that?

I didn't pay a lot of attention to that! I felt like it's gonna be explained soon, so I didn't latch onto the thought. Maybe I considered it a bit weird? But as soon as multiple Mukuros were shown I figured that there must have been some clones or impostors (sus). I didn't really expect her to be actually alive, and I'm glad she wasn't (sorry Mukuro).

Killer Killer is what Danganronpa 3 should have been. It had a more competent writing crew too. Except for the head thing. There was a more creative solution that THAT, certainly.

Ehhh... I have to disagree.

Despite both KK and FA being stories about Future Foundation set after DR2, I think that even though their "setting" niche is similar, their... "purpose" niche? Is different?

I didn't really like FA - it didn't flesh out its new characters well, it bored me a LOT, the plot was hard to follow. The only episode that I even liked was the UDG one, but I feel it didn't fit well within what FA was supposed to be. I wish it was better - but also, it's meant to *be* a sequel to DR1&2. It's meant to be a bit more about characters we know. It's meant to showcase us how Future Foundation operates on a high level (as in, the "ruling" parts).

KK was better written and it gave focus to Misaki, Takumi and the fruity guy I can't remember the name of, it barely had 1&2 characters and they weren't as much. It also made sure to showcase us how FA functions on a *broad* level, instead. It also shows us FF in less of an active crisis (at least until the last few chapters). Similar goes to world as a whole, despite the crime being all time high, there are still idols, for example. It still had its issues, like the chapter where the fruit got introduced felt kinda rushed, the decapitation part felt out-of-place, the fruity guy seemed more fucked up for the sake of being fucked up. Other characters like Mekuru or the pins-in-hair lady also got barely any development, I think.

KK and FA should still coexist. I just wish that FA was better.

And yeah... I didn't pay a lot of attention to the head thing at first, but it didn't really feel that fitting. Danganronpa is very strong on death permanence, and all that. The time flow in that part was also... weird? I wouldn't give all of what happened there a whole 24 hours, it felt more like 3 hours max.

The ending was really satisfying though!

I kept getting the impression in Killer Killer that the girl protagonist would end up being Mukuro secretly alive or someone else, much like how the other novel series kept having someone secretly be ME! Junko Forking Enoshima! The Ultimate Despair!

LOOOOOOL. I haven't thought about that, but that'd be really funny. I actually thought she was Ruruka at first, and I tagged the first Killer Killer post with Ruruka rather than Misaki... I quickly fixed that once I figured that out.

So Killer Killer is Dexter but Gay?

The only Dexter I know is the one from Cartoon Network who had a laboratory and I do not think that Takumi and him were similar. And Takumi feels like a token straight. Unless you mean his fruity childhood friend, but then, he ain't a scientist.

Did you know that Killer Killer is the same individual as Sparkling Justice?

I didn't, and I don't think it's that. The theme of killing criminals is actually pretty popular, lol. Though, there are some hints here and there... hmm... Maybe?

#not transparent #killer killer spoilers

15 notes · View notes

colourfullsims · 4 years

Photo

LOVE ISLAND CHALLENGE: CASTING CALL

That’s right, you heard it here first - from the people who brought you Big Brother, we present yet another summer obsession: the Love Island Challenge! Has it only been about a month since I finished BB? Yep. Should I be taking on yet another huge project that will take a lot of planning and late nights of building storylines? Probably not. Am I still doing it? Hell yeah.

This will be quite the large casting call for what I have planned: I’ll be accepting 28 sims in total for this challenge! The game will begin with 10 initial sims entering the villa, with the remaining cast being released into the house in waves: as sims are eliminated, new players will enter the house in their place. About halfway through the game, the islanders will be met with their biggest test of the summer when we open Casa Amor, placing 12 sims from our cast pool into the game for a chance at love.

As always, I’m looking to have a diverse cast with lots of varying backgrounds and personalities. And while the original Love Island focuses primarily on straight couplings, I’m looking to break that here by accepting all sexualities! As long as your sim is a young single, looking to mingle, they’ve got a chance at love!

Great info to include in your submission is:

Basic Bio: Introduce your sim (name, age, traits, gender, sexuality, race, hometown, occupation, etc.)

Personality Type: Give me a general feel for your sim’s character (outgoing, shy, serious, goofy, friendly, mean, etc.)

Relationships Back at Home: Who are the most important people in your sims life? (parents, siblings, children, etc). All potential islanders should technically be single (so no secret marriage scenarios please lol), but if your sim has any ex-relationships or situationships they’d like to talk about, feel free to share!

Their Intentions: Though this is “Love Island” not everyone may be here for love; some islanders will be looking for “the one,” while others may just be looking for some fun, and there may even be some looking specifically to get that cash prize. What led your sim to apply to the show and how will your sim play the game?

Backstory and Random Facts: Anyone who’s familiar with my last challenge knows I’m a sucker for a good backstory! You can be as simple or detailed with this as you please: any extra info given about your sim will aid me in writing dialogue and creating storylines for the posts.

Please keep any CC used on your sim (besides skin details) limited to their everyday wear, and Maxis Match. I’ll be applying my preferred defaults (eyes, detailed feet, etc.) to the sims and dressing them with my CC catalogue to blend to my posting style. Dress all remaining categories with DLC (I have all packs except for MFPS so go crazy), that way I have a sense of their style!

Submissions will stay open until Saturday, June 27, 2020, 11:59PM EDT, or until I have enough submissions to begin. Make sure to tag me in your submission posts, and if I haven’t reblogged your post within a day, feel free to message me - sometimes Tumblr likes to eat my tag notifications. I’ll be placing the rules I’ll be following below the cut for anyone interested in seeing how I’ll be playing this challenge!

Thanks for reading and I hope to see some of your sims soon on Love Island!

RULES:

For the challenge I will be using a version of the rules that I’ve tweaked from Scarlet-V’s original Love Island Challenge rules as well as @everfallsims Love Island Challenge rules. I’m aiming at playing my challenge as close to how the show is done, so check out the rules below to get a feel for how this will go:

Coupling Up:

For my version of the challenge, coupling ceremonies will take place under a predetermined schedule (which I will release once the challenge begins), and will alternate by gender for who will be choosing each time - so if the girls are choosing during the first coupling, the boys will be choosing the next time.

Sims will choose who to couple up with one by one at the coupling ceremony, and order of choice will either be determined by random draw or by viewer vote, depending upon the stage of the game.

Sims will couple up based upon who they have the highest romance level with. In the case an islander is choosing between sims they have no romance level with yet, they must choose the sim with the highest friendship level.

The first two coupling ceremonies will be heterosexual pairings only (for logistical reasons) but after that point, all genders will be able to couple up with whoever they like.

Once a sim is chosen to couple up with, they are no longer an option to be chosen. Couplings remain until eliminations and recouplings.

Recouplings:

Recouplings will happen on a predetermined schedule (again, to be released when the challenge begins) and will be an opportunity for pre-existing couples to continue getting to know each other, or for islanders to pursue new relationships.

Any new islanders will get the first choice at the recouplings.

If an islander’s first choice has already been chosen by someone else, they’ll have to choose an islander they have the next highest relationship with. Consequently, if a sim’s first choice is stolen away by another sim, they will lose some relationship with each other. This could lead to some sims having negative relationships with each other (who doesn’t love a little drama lol).

Eliminations:

Eliminations will take place under a predetermined schedule (again, to be released when the challenge begins). There will be three different types of eliminations: single eliminations, couple eliminations, and bottom two eliminations.

Single eliminations will take place when there is an odd number of islanders inside the villa. On a recoupling night when this is the case, one of the villagers who is not picking for the night will be at risk for going home.

Couple eliminations will get rid of a full couple from the game, in order to start whittling down the numbers for our potential winners. These eliminations can happen at any recoupling ceremony, and the decision will rest on either the relationships of the islanders, or on a viewer vote.

Bottom two eliminations will get rid of the two least popular islanders, from the two couples that have the lowest relationship levels with one another. This can take place at any recoupling ceremony and the decision will rest on a viewer vote.

Challenges:

Challenges will be an opportunity for islanders to win dates with other islanders, which will be key to advancing their romance outside of the villa.

Between each coupling ceremony, the sims will participate in skill based challenges. In gameplay, the challenge winners will be based upon one in-game day’s worth of skill building, with the sim(s) with the highest skill level winning the prize for the day.

Because of this, all sims skills will be set to 0 at the beginning of this challenge to give everyone a fair shot, but you can still influence what challenges your sim will be good at through their traits!

Dates:

There will be several different kinds of dates that the islanders will have a chance to go on: speed dates, solo dates, and the hideaway.

Speed dates will take place the day that new islanders are introduced into the villa, allowing the new sims a chance to get a feel for who they might want to couple up with. Speed dates can (but might not always) lead to an opportunity for the new islanders to ask their favorite islanders on a solo date, to get to know them even better.

Solo dates are just what they sound like - one on one outings for two sims to get to know each other. Solo dates will be earned by winning challenges, winning a viewer vote, or catching the eye of a new islander. Also, solo dates are not limited to sims who are already partnered up - so this is the prime chance for sims to drive a wedge between a relationship and shoot their shot!

The Hideaway is the ultimate date to win in this game. This is a fancy, romantic suite located in the villa, which will only open several times throughout the game, and will only be accessible to one couple at a time for one night. In the Hideaway, everything goes, and it’s the prime chance for a couple to take their relationship to the next level. Islanders will have the opportunity to win a night inside the Hideaway either through winning a challenge or winning a viewer vote. Unlike speed dates and solo dates, this is only open for sims who are currently coupled up.

Casa Amor:

Halfway through the challenge, Casa Amor will open, giving the islanders even more opportunities to find love with someone new:

The remaining islanders will be split between the original villa and Casa Amor, and will meet 6 new islanders each, who they could potentially recouple with.

The islanders will participate in challenges, speed dates, and solo dates as usual as they get to know their new roommates.

After several days away from their current partners, the original islanders must decide whether they want to stay coupled up with their current partners, or if they want to be recoupled with one of the new islanders.

Any of the new islanders who are not chosen to be coupled with will be immediately eliminated. Any of the old islanders left single will be at risk of being eliminated.

Viewer Votes:

Throughout the challenge, viewers will get the opportunity to influence the game through a series of polls. Advantages that viewers will be able to deal out will include:

First pick at recouplings

Solo dates

Hideaway access

Viewer votes will also come into play when it comes time to start determining which players should stay in the game.

How to Win:

The challenge will continue until there are four couples remaining. Of those four, it will be down to a viewer vote which of the final pairings should win the $100,000 grand prize. As consolation prizes, the second and third place winners will win $50,000 and $25,000 dollars respectively (sorry fourth place lol).

After the winners are determined, the final test of whether this was true love will come in the form of the money envelopes. Both sims will receive an envelope each - one will have the cash prize inside, and the other will be empty. Whoever receives the envelope with the money will have to decide to either share the money with their partner or take the cash and run. This final decision will come down to a combination of storytelling and whether the sim ended up with a partner they loved more than anyone else in the villa.

And that’s it! I may tweak these rules slightly as I begin playing, especially once WW interactions come into play, but this should cover most of our bases for the time being. Let me know if you have any further questions, and I hope you’ll consider submitting a sim!

#ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 love island challenge #sims 4 love island challenge #love island challenge #sims 4 challenge #love island challenge casting call #casting call #sims of color #colourfullsims

207 notes · View notes

actuallyvady · 2 years

Text

I posted 9,479 times in 2021

107 posts created (1%)

9372 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 87.6 posts.

I added 136 tags in 2021

#lol - 34 posts

#ahahahahaha - 15 posts

#personal - 13 posts

#ahahaha - 11 posts

#ahahahahahaha - 11 posts

#wot spoilers - 11 posts

#i love him so much - 11 posts

#mood - 11 posts

#ahahahaha - 10 posts

#i love him - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 130 characters

#i'm obviously very tired today but the sheer silliness of chess champions playing stupid openings because they think it's funny...

My Top Posts in 2021

Last week I posted about saying goodbye to our 18 year old beloved cat...

... this week I am here to introduce you to the new babies in the family, lol

We have always had at least two cats; this was more important when we didn’t all stay home basically all the time (I live with my folks and they are both retired now), but we still generally prefer it. So we knew we would be adopting soon.

I was not expecting this, but I do not mind:

They are sisters, 11 weeks old and from the same litter. The shelter had them isolated from the other kittens because they had ear mites, so we’ll have to be very careful about quarantine until that is taken care of (their last treatment is schedule for a week from now, so it won’t be too long) so our other cat doesn’t get them.

They are a little shy, but very sweet. At least one will be a talker-- she yelled at us the whole drive home. I think they might be social eaters, as they ignored their food until I was just chilling in the room with them, after we got them home.

We hadn’t really planned on two, so we hadn’t picked names, but then my mom jokingly called them Soju and Makgeolli and, well, it stuck. So here they are.

This is Soju:

She’s actually the explorer, the less skittish of the two, who didn’t mind the drive.

This is Makgeolli:

She spent more than half of the 40 minute drive home expressing her displeasure, loudly.

It has been 18 years since we have had a kitten in our house. I am delighted by them.

13 notes • Posted 2021-10-29 23:04:07 GMT

The year Sir Terry died, our local comic con happened to take place over the weekend of the Glorious 25th of May. I didn't have a lot of time to throw anything together, but being Vetinari was still one of my favorite things. Very few people recognized it, but those that did were so happy, it made the lack of attention from others worth it.

13 notes • Posted 2021-05-25 16:26:07 GMT

Annoying niche experience: watching a korean drama on Netflix and being really annoyed that there are no subtitles when they speak English

14 notes • Posted 2021-05-19 16:26:42 GMT

@chaos-in-the-making this is my car, his name is Huaisang. I even got custom license plates for him:

... which is one of the author's nicknames for him-- it means "Director Nie" because he was, well, directing all the events for most of the book, lol

18 notes • Posted 2021-05-02 04:55:53 GMT

I have avoided the larger part of the Untamed fandom quite on purpose, and sometimes I see evidence of discourse going by and I just...

Listen, if you have an opinion about any MDZS character that amounts to them being 100% good or evil, you missed the entire point and should maybe take a step back, especially if you're going to hate on others who do not share your opinion.

22 notes • Posted 2021-06-15 19:49:16 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #... i do not actually make new posts often #the kittens are more than twice the weight they were then #less than 2 months later #and the car is awaiting repairs-- someone hit it (badly) in a parking lot #i stand by that number one post though

2 notes · View notes

yoonia · 3 years

Text

❥ Content Creator Year in Review

☞ tagged by @yeoldontknow, @chillingkoo, @inkedtae, @onherwings, @moononthejoon, @kpopfanfictrash (my precious, talented bubs. I love you! Happy almost New Year!) and retagged by @flurrys-creativity @jimlingss

⇀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020: I kicked off 2020 with the release of Carousel Epilogue (Yoongi). That was a defining moment for me because it truly felt like I was ending one specific era to start another. Which was true, by the way, because Carousel had marked the rise of my blog at one point and it had been a part of my long journey in writing fanfiction that releasing that epilogue and ending the series then had become a true turning point for me and my blog. My most recent creation was Blurred Lines (Seokjin, ongoing). I never meant this one to be a series, but somewhere in the middle of writing it, I felt like the story needed to progress in small paces to build up the momentum. I have always had a hard time writing for Seokjin, seeing the actual person himself has multiple layers that we tend to misidentify him with the persona he normally shows us in public. I simply wanted to show that part of him in this story, while creating a new persona for Seokjin that I’ve had in mind since way back then when I wrote Hazy.

⇀ one of your favourite creations from 2020: I’ve mentioned a few favourites a while ago, but the one that sticks to me the most personally was Spotless Minds (Hoseok). I wrote this based on my favourite movie, Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Minds, taking the original idea of introducing two characters who erased a part of their past but giving it a more in-depth backstory compared to the movie itself. I still added a few elements that you may find from the movie but written here differently: the beach house, the waiting room, the stages where Hoseok was slowly losing his memory, and I added a few things that may help readers who haven't watched the movie to understand the aspects of the story a bit better without having to go back and watch the movie first. What pleases me most about this fic was the writing style that I used then — the sequences of the scenes, the back and forth between the timeline to reveal all the twists and turns — and then putting them all together. It was just fun creating this one.

⇀ a creation you’re really proud of: Oh, this one is the hardest to decide. I can’t choose between We Are All Dreamers (Jungkook) and Never Falling (Jimin). WAAD was a bit challenging to me. I love soulmate aus and I believe I had gotten stuck on this story right in the middle of it until I decided to add Jungkook’s pov in it to help with the story’s progression. I’m proud of how it came to be (and I can’t wait to share the continuing story for it) and how I’d gotten through the process of writing it. NF took me quite a while to finish, but I love every single thing about it. The story building, the tension, the momentum, and I think the characters I created in this story have become the pairing that I have grown to care the most this year aside from Strip!Jimin and his OC.

⇀ a creation that took you forever: The Half-Lycan (Taehyung) and Of Bears and Bonds (Seokjin). Both stories took a while to work on due to their part in the Shifters series, which required me to take my time in planning and working things together to make sure that the story and the timeline would line up perfectly with its origin story, Blood Moon Rising. THL was actually planned to be posted on Tae’s birthday last year, but it took me 6 months to finish. OBB was planned to be posted immediately as both stories correlated between each other, but then things happened and what was planned to be an extremely long one-shot had ended up becoming a trilogy (the original word count was 69k words lol).

⇀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes: The Half-Lycan, I think? I know it went over 2k notes while the others remain somewhere around 1k or less lol Idk man, I don’t keep up with notes. I’m grateful for all the feedback, the reblogs, and the comments, so I remember those the most compared to the numbers.

⇀ a creation you think deserved more notes: Ravished by Two (Namjoon, Seokjin), Spotless Minds (Hoseok), Red Series (Yoongi). Seriously, I love writing for Hyung line, but they don’t get enough love from everyone :( I must add Bed & Boyfriend(s) (Taehyung, Yoonkook) too because I worked hard on that one and I need it to get some more love lol

⇀ a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: I’m starting to get into Stray Kidz and Ateez more lately. I haven’t made any creation for them aside from adding Wooyoung (Ateez) as a side character in Spotless Minds haha I did write Simon Says for Simon Dominic though.

⇀ a creation you made that breaks your heart: Slow and Steady (Jungkook) took the front seat on this one. I’ve fallen in love with the original idea when it was sent to me for a commission. I knew it would cause a lot of heartbreak and it did spark some reactions from my readers that I enjoyed reading through once the fic was up. I just didn’t think it would hurt ME in the process as well :/

⇀ a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: Let’s see… Pay By Play (Jungkook), Red Lipstick (Yoongi, from the Red Series), the drabbles I’ve made this year for Carousel and The Stand-In. Can I really call these ‘simple’ tho? Hahaha

⇀ a creation that was inspired by another one: Strip! (Jimin) was a spin-off for Bad For You. Though I had originally started this series since October the year before, I still have to mention this one because I only began working on the final chapter after I was done with Carousel at the beginning of the year. The Half-Lycan was actually inspired by its drabbles. I’d never intended to expand Blood Moon Rising’s universe into the series you are seeing now, but when I was writing Rapture during NaNoWriMo 2019, I began to imagine Taehyung and his wolf pack to become a part of Jimin’s story. Since I was already planning to introduce the members as a pack in BMR in future chapters, I decided to link the two universes together and have Taehyung from Rapture to have his own story before I get to introduce the others. This decision was what had led me to create the entire Shifter series universe.

⇀ a favourite creation created by someone else: umm...I haven’t had a chance to actually read a lot of fanfics this year as I have gotten into original stories more and the year has been crazy busy. The ones that I’ve read and shared are listed in my side blog, @diaficrecs. But here are a few that I’ve read but haven’t gotten a chance to write down my comment or feedback on and they are now sitting on my rec blog’s draft until the day I can get my thoughts together T^T — Inner Needs by @avveh, Divine Intervention by @opaljm, Third Wheeling by @untaemedqueen, Molotov Cocktail by @yeoldontknow, Aphrodite in War by @jungblue, Always Trust In Pixie Dust by @readyplayerhobi, daechwita by @ironicarmy, and I have to mention the one I’ve been re-reading the most, When You Watch by @gardentulips

⇀ some of your favorite content creators from the year: aside from the beautiful people mentioned above, here are my beloved, talented friends — @jamaisjoons @suqakoo @softyoongiionly @randombtsprincessa @hungline @guktro @underthejoon @gukslut @gukyi @floralseokjin @ladyartemesia @baebae-goodnight @hobidreams

⇀ and for good measure, another couple more creations of yours that you love: omg I don’t think I can mention them one by one so let me just drop my masterlist here, here, and here :)

⇀ tagging: everyone mentioned above who hasn’t done this yet...and if you don’t see your name here, feel free to do this if you want to and add me so I can add new stuff on my to-read-list :))

#tagged #fic talk #get to know me #long post #you know I won't stop talking when it comes to my writing

29 notes · View notes

jippy-kandi · 4 years

Photo

Digimon Adventure: 2020 – Episode 1: Tokyo: Digital Crisis! (Review)

Thoughts on the first episode of the Digimon Adventure reboot series.

Disclaimer: I just want to make it clear that I’m watching and reviewing Digimon Adventure: 2020 in the context of it being a children’s anime -- because that’s what it is. By design, it’s obviously going to be “dumb” to the mind of the average adult. But that’s OK, because it’s for kids. And for a first episode aimed at children? It was pretty good.

The opening credits were 99% Taichi and I don’t like it if it’s permanently going to be this way. But I’m hoping that it will change to perhaps be character-centric to the person being “highlighted” in a particular episode, going through all eight kids, until there’s a permanent one where all eight are equally in it. I also hope the same for the ending credits.

I noticed that Angemon and Angewomon were missing from the opening credits, whereas the other digimon evolutions are shown. So I assume they’re following in OG Adventure’s footsteps and doing the whole “special angel” evolution reveal? I’m OK with that. It seems really interesting how they’re setting up Takeru and Hikari to be included this time (as they were both missing in the ending credits with the other five standing opposite Yamato . . .).

Both the opening and ending songs are fine, but I prefer the original songs, especially Butter-Fly. You are missed, Kouji Wada. <3

The art and animation of this series is really good. Toei Animation are really putting money into this series. I’m impressed.

I have mixed feelings about how they chose to introduce the characters. On the one hand, I think utilising just two characters is great to really highlight them to the audience and not overwhelm them with too much information. But on the other hand . . . I think introducing all eight characters in the first episode would make it appeal to more kids, because they can easily identify with one kid and keep watching the series. But a kid might watch this first episode, not like Taichi or Koushirou, and just switch off from the series completely. But I think what they went for is probably best for how they plan to introduce the characters (particularly regarding what they have in store for Yamato being a lone wolf who joins them later).

Taichi was a bit too generic to me. But, it’s only the first episode, so this isn’t a real criticism -- I’m sure he’ll be fleshed out as the series progresses. He also seems more responsible than OG Taichi. And while I do like his new voice, I think Toshiko Fujita was a lot better; she managed to convey more personality in her voice.

Koushirou was actually quite “cute”. But I’m not sure I totally like that he’s being portrayed as shy . . . he never seemed shy to me in the original series, but just a kid who was super absorbed in his own tech world. But his shyness did make him more endearing? I’m just not used to it so I find it a bit unsettling. But it does “humanise” him more and thus makes him more relatable, rather than just a distant tech nerd, so I guess it’s a positive? I also really like his voice.

I am liking the Taichi/Koushirou friendship a lot. You can tell Koushirou is going to completely idolise Taichi for making him feel included and “useful”. And let’s be real: Koushirou has always been the most underrated character when it comes to popularity, relative to actual impact on the plot, because he’s actually the one who solves almost everything and he doesn’t get nearly as much credit for it as he deserves in the fandom. It’s nice that they’ve spotlighted him with Taichi in this episode.

So apparently Mimi’s family owns a conglomerate because they made both Koushirou’s tablet computer and Takeru’s hat? I always thought the weird “TK” scrawled on his hat was for his name (TaKeru or T.K.), but apparently it’s for TachiKawa! Wow, Mimi is insanely rich this time around (moreso than the first). Princess indeed!

Takeru’s design is so freaking adorable. I still think his clothes are a bit off, but his face is so adorable! And I didn’t really think that of OG Takeru. I mean . . . I guess he was kind of adorable, but not overwhelmingly so like this one! He hasn’t said one line but, OMG, the cuteness. *SQUISH*

Did anyone notice that in Takeru’s room, there is a poster of an ASTRONAUT? OMG I loved that! What a nice throwback to Yamato’s future career in OG Adventure (and thus to the 02 epilogue!). I can imagine reboot Yamato idolising astronauts and influencing Takeru into liking them, too. Awesome Easter egg there!

So the Crests are showing up right from the start. No rehash of finding the Tags and Crests, then! (Or will they find the physical forms later?) I really like how different from OG Adventure it already is, while keeping touches of the old as well. Toei have done a good job with mixing the old and new so far. Keep it up!

I thought Taichi’s meeting with Agumon was super cute and quite “realistic” with Taichi reaching his hand out to “pet” Agumon! Though Taichi is obviously more courageous than the average person, because uh, I would be afraid that dino would bite my hand off, lol.

I thought Agumon’s evolution “sequence” to Greymon was really cool, but at the same time, I did miss an actual evolution sequence like the OG one. It’s probably just nostalgia making me feel that way. I can accept this new version though! It feels very “updated”.

It was very fast-paced compared to OG Adventure. I’m not sure I entirely like that Agumon evolved so easily and so quickly to Greymon in the very first episode, but it also didn’t seem to hinder the episode. But where do they go from here? What do they have planned to pad out this series if things happen so quickly? I’m intrigued to find out!

Oh, remember how I said less than 24 hours ago that I might not even like reboot Yamato? Yeah, well . . . throw that idea out the window, because the dude had two seconds at the end of this episode and HE ALREADY WON ME OVER lmao. He had NO LINES and was still the highlight of the episode for me. My attachment to him is insane. (Of course, I’m hoping he doesn’t turn out to be a super douche, lol.) I like that he was “chosen” before Taichi and was in the Network before him. What have you been up to in there, Yamato?

While I LOVED the ending credits, as I said before, I hope it changes to be central for each specific character (going through all eight kids), before there is a permanent main ending that includes all the characters equally. I really don’t like how Toei Animation seems to forget that there are EIGHT CHARACTERS and not just two. Come on, Toei, do the right thing!

But . . . let’s talk about the ending credits. IT WAS AMAZING. It characterised Yamato so much without him saying a word. I love that he’s still a lone wolf, that music is still a big part of his life (a bass at 11!), and that his love for Takeru is still so genuine. There was also a pivotal scene where it shows Jou, Mimi, Taichi, Sora and Koushirou standing together, and Taichi smiles at Yamato, who hesitantly steps forward to join them. I loved that! It made me think about the discarded plot where “Yamato might’ve separated from the group entirely” -- it seems like this is a reverse version and I can’t wait to see it play out. The scene that inspired that discarded plot idea was when Yamato decides to fight Taichi, and Sora yells at him to stop -- and I just loved her reactions to him throughout that arc. Especially because, if Taichi had turned on the group, I think Sora’s first instinct would be to conk him over the head -- but she gives Yamato a massive pass and then supports him to separate from the group to find himself. My Sorato thoughts are already swirling about how Sora will react to Yamato in this reboot! Will she hate him at first? Will she ask him to join? Oh my, they haven’t even interacted in this reboot and I’m already shipping them, lmao. I hope Sorato still have a connection in this reboot!

Overall, I liked it for a children’s anime. And I never would have watched it if it wasn’t a reboot with the original Adventure cast, as I have only seen a few episodes of Tamers, Frontier and Savers . . . and a few seconds where Yamato shows up in Xros Wars, lol. I’m not interested in Digimon, I’m interested in the Adventure cast. So I’m really glad this reboot exists! I’ll happily watch all episodes of this series because it’s more of my kids goddamnit. XD

Oh, and I just want to apologise that even though the episode was focussed on Taichi and Koushirou, I used screenshots of Yamato and Sora for the episode post . . . I’m sorry, I’m a Sorato blog! XD;

I think I will do a weekly Digimon Adventure: 2020 “review”, because the episodes are only 20-ish minutes long and it’s easy enough to consume and write about. And even if I might not have a lot to say about a particular episode, I can still spam Sorato screenshots, lol. :P

I can’t wait for the next episode! Because: YAMATO. <3

#digimon #digimon adventure #digimon adventure:#digimon adventure 2020 #sorato #yamato ishida #sora takenouchi #chosen children #taichi yagami #koushirou izumi #mimi tachikawa #jou kido #takeru takaishi #hikari yagami #review #screenshots #spoilers #is this tag really needed?#just go watch it!

237 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1277

Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? Ooooh moving forward, probably Angela hahahaha I have no idea how I’d break it to her if ever I do start seeing somebody again. She’s well aware of all the shit that I let slide so she might get intense with the scrutineering.

What is the most exciting thing about your life right now? Just the fact that I feel on top of the world these days. My days of being depressed and picking at my insecurities seem to be far behind me and the change has looked to be apparent coming from friends who’ve told me I seem happier, louder these days.

What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? To not be scared to fight harder for the things you believe in or what make up your identity, coming from having to hide a same-sex relationship during that period. That feeling of being constricted and having to hide to stay on some conservative seniors’ good graces really pissed me off so high school was really crucial in letting me discover just how much I’d be willing to fight and test the waters to be able to live as me.

Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there? Hmm no, not really. If anything my job is one of the things that helped make me a lot livelier and happier.

Do you have a “one who got away”? It felt that way at the start when my view was still skewed, but it didn’t take long until I realized she was not a loss at all.

If you were in a superhero movie, would you be the hero or the villain? Hero.

If you found a mouse in your house, would you be frightened? Mice or rats are the literal worst fucking thing I could see in my house. I definitely see myself making a big deal out of it lmao, especially rats.

Have you ever tried to perform magic tricks? Nobody ever taught me, so no.

Can you do more with a yo-yo than just "go up and down"? Nah, which kinda makes me feel ashamed because considering it was a Filipino who invented the modern yo-yo, I feel like it should be my responsibility to know a few tricks LOL.

What is one form of technology that you wouldn't be able to live without? Instant messenger.

Did you get an allowance, growing up? Why or why not? Starting high school. Before that I was living in our family’s duplex, so my grandma could make packed meals for all of us – not to mention the fact that my parents were also still on their way to establishing themselves at their respective workplaces so we weren’t all that well-off yet.

When we moved into our own place, we started with my mom making our meals but eventually it just proved to be time-consuming and a lot of work considering she also had a job to go to. With that and the fact that both my parents at that point already got a couple of promotions, we switched to allowance.

Would you rather go to a water park or an amusement park? Why? Amusement parks though I would only probably head to the safer rides and food stalls with all the deep-fried offerings haha. I cannot handle more intense rides. On the other hand, water parks have always sounded nasty to me.

What is one instrument you wouldn't mind learning how to play? Piano.

What's the longest amount of time you've had to wait in line for something? The stupid LTO, because you can never count on government agencies to be efficient. Technically my whole time in there took a couple of stages, but all in all I spent eight hours there.

What is something that you would like to learn more about? Korean. I just graduated from my Basic Korean 1 class but I already have plans to enroll in the following course, since I seemed to do well and I want to keep the momentum going.

What is something that one of your family member collects? Mom has a large collection of chef-themed figurines and other sorts of trinkets like a chef timer, shot glasses, etc - but mostly the figurines - that she has displayed in a glass case. I should keep that in mind for when I start Christmas shopping, actually...she hasn’t updated that collection in a long time. Thanks for the idea!

Have you ever moved to a new school before? If so, how did it feel? No, not in the middle of the same period since I went to the same school from kinder to high school for 14 years. I only “moved” when I started college. Like I’ve said in previous surveys, it felt freeing to finally not under be the hands of an environment ran by...well, Catholics. It was a culture shock to see rallies everywhere, to find out I could wear short shorts or even go to school naked if I wanted to, and to see boys in my class (I went to an all-girls), but it was all the good kind of shock.

Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework? Always, because I never wrote them down.

Do you enjoy autumn leaves or spring flowers more? Why? I experience neither season.

Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? Typhoon.

If you could meet any fictional character from a book, who would it be? Melanie Hamilton from Gone with the World.

What are some common places that people tour when they come to your city? I rarely see foreigners here since my area isn’t particularly known for tourism; most go to the island provinces like Cebu, Aklan, Palawan, etc. If I had to recommend spots here, I’d tell them to go for Pinto and maybe the rooftop bars that offer a view of Manila’s skyline.

What's one food that you did not enjoy as a child, but do as an adult? Chicken curry, which I used to dread.

Would you rather have a mermaid tail, a fairy's wings or a unicorn's horn? I guess the wings just because I feel like it’s the only practical one.

What is an animal that you'd like to have as a pet but it's not allowed? I don’t think that way about animals I can’t keep as pets anyway.

What are some things that you do to make the world a better place? I always clean up at restaurants (my mom doesn’t understand why I do it because “the servers are here for a reason, Robyn”) but I always see the relief on their faces when they see I’ve stacked up the plates and cups so I don’t see a reason to stop doing it. I keep the door open for people who happen to enter/exit a building the same time as me, share dog adoption posts, don’t make a fuss about or towards a shop staff who messes up...things like that. I hope it’s able to help, even if just in a small way.

Has the last person you had sex with ever had sex with someone besides you? I don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has already.

What’s your favorite store at your mall? We have several malls within the vicinity but I like frequenting NCAT.

Have you ever done a workout DVD? No but my mom is fond of those.

Who usually takes out the trash in your family? Either of my parents.

What song are you currently obsessed with? My Universe is soooooo good. It’s Coldplay’s classic sound but they somehow managed to perfectly blend in BTS’ style as well, so I love how it turned out.

When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook? I've never gone fishing.

Do you take any prescription meds? Nope.

What happens if you don’t take them? Who was the last person you dreamt about? My dad.

Do you prefer your tea sweetened or unsweetened? Sweetened, though I don’t usually actively look for iced tea. I’d have it if it was served, but I don’t typically order it for myself.

How often do you honk your horn? As long as I am annoyed, which gives my mom a mini heart attack every time because she insists I just let people have their way to avoid getting into fights. Sometimes when she’s driving and someone’s being stupid on the road I lurch forward to do the honking for her and it pisses her off soooooooooo much but it also gets the job done so *shrug*

Do you have any children? If so, names and ages? I don’t.

Have your parents ever witnessed you doing something inappropriate? What? TMI but I almost got caught doing the m-word once but my reflexes were at lightning speed that day so when my door opened I was able to fix myself up and appear as though nothing was happening lol. My mom also saw a hickey on me once but I was able to veer the conversation away when she started inquiring.

Did you get babysat a lot as a kid? No, I did the babysitting.

If you were the principal of a school, what would you do differently? Actually deal with teachers who mistreat or make issues towards their students. I had several teachers I know didn’t like me but I could never do anything about it because there was no way in hell the school was going to take my side.

Are you doing anything fun tomorrow? Continued from yesterday. If I took this question yesterday to refer to today I would’ve answered yes because we actually have a really fun PR stunt scheduled for execution today, wherein we get to sponsor someone’s whole wedding from food to flowers to the host and fillm crew :D :D But tomorrow is just Monday so the real answer to this is no.

What is something you'd like to receive as a housewarming gift? I dunno the usual housewarming gifts, but I would appreciate anything practical, or anything that you’ll need at the least expected times, like batteries or even like Sticky Tack.

How old were you when you first experienced the effects of puberty? Oooh I was an early bird – I was 9 when I could first tell my first period was on its way; it came a month after I turned 10.

What is your least favorite holiday, and why? I don’t dislike any holiday because they all mean a day off work lol.

What were some outdoor games you played as a child? We usually played piko (hopscotch), our local version of freeze tag that we dubbed “Ice ice water” for whatever reason, and a garter game that we call 10-20. Dodgeball was a favorite during recess and lunch, too.

Did you accompany your parents on "Take Your Child to Work" Day? That’s not observed here, but my mom did use to take me and my siblings to her first workplace. Are cemeteries peaceful to you, or do they freak you out? They’re actually more interesting to me than anything else. I like learning about the different lives of many different people, even if I only technically know them by their birthday and date of death. Sometimes the inscriptions would be more detailed and tell more about their life, sometimes I’d come across babies who only lived a few days...and it’s just interesting to have those glimpses into life.

Which ancient civilization would you be interested in learning more about? Filipino, because Western colonization destroyed proof of most of it.

Do you have better long-term memory or short-term memory? Long.

What was the last situation that made you cry? Describe. I cried this morning. Nothing bad or heavy, I just found myself thinking again about my mental state last year.

Which forest animal would you be most afraid to encounter? Anything that wouldn’t hesitate to tear my limbs apart.

Do you believe in anything supernatural? (ie: spirits, etc) No.

Has anyone close to you ever gone to war? No. The closest link I have to the military, other than my dead great-grandfather, is Angela’s uncle who’s like a general or like a colonel or something, idk titles.

Have you ever experienced altitude sickness? Yeah, occasionally. Pressure in the ear is a bigger nuisance to me, though.

Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly? The last time I saw my grandfather. My only clear memory of him that day was stepping out of the house to leave (my mom and I were visiting) and him sending me off with the message to always be kind and good. If I had known I would never see him again, I never would’ve left.

Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? Hmm no, not that I can recall.

If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to? I’d go to Hans for certain advice, but not for every single situation. He’s the only person that comes to mind.

What was the last new food/drink that you tried? So last Wednesday I finally got to try this Instagram-based doughnut shop that I’ve been eyeing since August and it turned out to be even MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTEDDDDDD. Like yeah their photos were always mouthwatering but I didn’t expect it to taste as good as it looks, since most pretty food I’ve encountered usually end up just tasting meh. Anywho, I got two orders of their sampler box and they served me their specialty bacon doughnut, signature brown butter, and a bunch of their chocolate and peanut butter variants and I loved every single fucking thing.

Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? Oh it’s hard to tell, it’s only 9:05 AM. Both days might be uneventful, though.

Have you ever played Sudoku? I don’t actually get how to play it hahaha. I feel like I’m too stupid for sudoku.

Do you ever take surveys for money? I tried it last year when applying for jobs was still a bitch for me, but the thing is most of those surveys look for employed participants so there was rarely ever a survey that fit me anyway.

Do you like Barbie or Bratz better? Bratz.

Do you prefer purple or green grapes? I don’t like grapes.

Who was the last person that made you laugh? Idk, probs one of the boys since I was watching videos of them earlier today.

Where does your best friend live? A nearby city.

Who did you last confide in? Angela.

Does your car have an alarm? Sure.

Where was your mom born? Somewhere in Metro Manila.

What can always make you feel better no matter what? My dogs.

What is something you’ll never eat again? Why? I don’t think there is anything. I feel like I’m always bound to retry things and that I would be open to doing so, even fruits. One thing I’m firm about never drinking again, though, is coconut water. Get that SHIT away from me.

What is currently happening that is scaring you? I’m not feeling scared these days.

Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? Probably. But nothing sticks out.

#survey #surveys

2 notes · View notes

anotherbeingsworld · 4 years

Text

Maututine

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x F!MC (Casey Valentine)

Book: Open Heart

Word Count: 1826

Warning/Rating: *minor* Mentions of death/G.

A/N: Hi! I am back with a new fic, and its a fluffy one! Its a make-up for all the hearts I broke from my last fic (which I still feel bad for, but I loved all the feedback! Thank you!) I somehow insert some real-life events in this fic, I feel like.. its something, I want to write for a while. I lost my grandfather in 2016, and in this story, all those experiences and memories mentions below about him, is true. I just felt, I want to open that part of my life. I am not an open book, but somehow, it felt right to write about it in this fic. Its been 4 years, and writing this help me sort out my feelings for it. ( ended up getting emotional (indeed crying) writing it, but.. i feel happy writing it.) Hope it makes sense lol I hope all of you enjoyed it! (I know the gif aint related to the hospital, but... that’s the vibe I am looking for! // Also, the mentions of medical school is to refer to Casey’s character and they were some changes from the real life events that I did to fit the theme of the book, and Casey’s character.)

Tags: @bitchloveskcbaseball ; @brycelahel ; @annekebbphotography ; @n-whas ; @dcbbw ; @jaxsmutsuo ; @lahellacute ; @mvalentine ; @mrsbhandari ; @soederberg ; @choicessa ; @aylamwrites ; @kacie-0156 ; @storyofmychoices ; @lovealexhunt

LINK TO MY MASTERLIST

Maututine - Of or relating to early morning; occurring in the early morning.

Edenbrook Hospital was quiet at 4, in the morning as her shift is finally done. An emergency had occurred earlier, which involving numerous victims from a fire. All of them managed to survive, as only a few of them had major injuries. Casey felt herself let out a yawn before making her way to a coffee vending machine that Dr. Ramsey shared with her and her colleagues after losing a bet that was made by June.

She inserts the amount of money needed and gets herself a cup of mocha. It was one of her comfort drinks. The heat from it jolts her awake, as she feels herself about to pass out in the middle of the floor. She took a small sip, as the hot beverage gives her an energy boost at that moment.

The hallways were quiet, as a few nurses were seen working. All of her roommates had gone back home since their shift ended earlier than hers. In her mind, she was debating on going back home, or perhaps stay at the hospital before the daily routine starts. As she was making her way back to the on-call room to get some rest, she bumped into a familiar face making her smile.

'Bryce!' She shouted from a distance as she makes her way to him.

His smile widens at the sound of her voice, he had slowed down his pace as she was catching up to him.

'Fancy seeing you here.' Bryce winks as Casey smiles from the comment.

'A long night as well?' She asked as she took another sip from her drink.

He nods, 'Carotid endarterectomy, remove the blockage from carotid arteries. It was a challenging one, but we all did it pretty well!' Bryce replied with a dash of excitement in his voice.

'I am proud of you, party boy.' Casey lets out a compliment as he raised an eyebrow from the comment.

'Is your head too big for another compliment Lahela?'

'Nah, my head is perfect. But, why so sudden?' He asked with full of curiosity in his voice.

'I just, with everything going on in our lives now; all the chaos and insanity. It’s good to see you happier, more in your element.' She took his hand and give him a light squeeze. He leans forward as he placed a small kiss on her cheek.

They walked together slowly, before Bryce's face had turned into a devilish smile that she knows all too well.

'I know that face, what are you planning?'

His eyes full of mischief, as he lets her on the idea.

'Let's change our view for a bit. I haven't seen sunshine in a few hours and honestly, there is a sweet spot to watch the sunrise.' Bryce spills the idea of earning an earnest smile from Casey.

'Colour me intrigued. Let's do it.' Casey agrees as they made their way to a set of staircases leading up to the hospital roof. They were stealthy, being as silent as possible to avoid any attention.

After a long five minutes of climbing up the stairs, they finally arrived at the infamous rooftop of Edenbrook Hospital. It was still dark, as the stars above them were shining. Both Bryce and Casey made their way to the edge as they took a seat on the cold tiles. They kept their pager with them, just in case of emergencies.

The environment around them was silent except for a couple of cars on the road, and the light from the city is their view for the night.

'This is a pretty sweet view.' Bryce said as his eyes darted everywhere from the rooftop.

Casey placed her drink down, as she took a deep breath inhaling the night air. It was calming and it somehow makes her smile. She felt herself scoot towards Bryce, as he was still observing the view. She makes her way to him and places her head on his shoulder.

He was startled, before pulling her into his embrace as he puts his arm around her.

'This is an amazing idea.' Casey said as their feet were a few feet above the cold pavement below.

'You are welcome, I am a man of ideas after all.' Bryce replied with a smug expression on his face.

She lets out a laugh before the silence took over once more. It was almost sunrise in Boston, as they decided to take a breather from their work. The silence was comforting, as they were charging their own energy with the environment around them until Casey speaks up.

'Let's play plead the fifth.' Casey said excitedly.

Bryce smiles as he felt familiar with the game from a patient named Dakota, who invited him for a game before his major surgery.

'Lay it on me, Valentine.' His confident smile appears at her suggestion.

'All right. My first question, tell me a random fact about you.' Casey lets out a small smile earning a chuckle from Bryce.

'What is that about?'

'Nothing, I feel amused by all of this. To answer your question, I love to go on random walks in the evening at the beach back at home… It is one of the things that I missed about it.' Casey seems to be studying him before she nods in approval of the answer.

'What's with the look?'

'I just…never thought that you would be a 'enjoy the moment' type of guy.'

'Hey, I love to party hard… but, sometimes you just need to step back and get some real air.' Bryce explains as the noises below are getting louder, but it's still not loud enough to ruin their time.

'Hm, that is interesting. Maybe one day, you can take me to these places of yours? I would love to see it.'

He takes one of her hands and placed a kiss on her knuckles.

'Let's make it a trip soon.' He winks before they proceed on enjoying the view around them.

It was silent once again before it is his turn to ask.

'What do you regret the most in life..?'

Casey's eyes widen from the sudden question, but she knows… regrets live with her for as long as she lived. She went quiet earning a few 'I'm sorry' look from Bryce before she starts to speak.

'I have some regrets in my life, but one really stood out to me….' She starts before feeling the lump on her throat as she continues.

'It was when my grandfather passed away, four years ago. I remember, during medical school. I was studying for an exam and there is this phone call from my brother, Dan. He told me, he had passed away a few hours before. At that moment, I don't know how to feel. It is my first major loss in my life, and it's something that I will never get used too…' she went silent once more as Bryce quietly listens to every word she said with his hands held hers as comfort.

She lets out a breath she was holding before she continues on,

'I was super close to him, he is like one of the people who makes me happy. I remember going back home to visit him, and just… it brings a smile on my face honestly. He would always take me on his motorcycle and just, spoiled me rotten…'

Bryce lets out a chuckle at the comment.

'Who wouldn't want to spoil you? You must be an adorable kid.'

'Yes, I am proud to say; I am in fact adorable as a kid but as an adult.' She stops observing herself before saying, 'not so much.'

'You are beautiful Cas, I mean it… and you are adorable too especially when you smile.' Bryce replies as he took an imaginary picture of her in his mind.

She pulled him into a sweet kiss before she continues,

'As I was saying, he would often spoil me rotten with ice-cream, sweets, chips.. every kid's dream. It is really a wonderful time to be alive, and somehow… when I get older, we kind of lost contact. He would still take me out on a trip on his bike, and somehow he would be like… the best friend I never had…' Casey felt tears coming out slowly, as she continues.

'Take your time Cas..' Bryce calms her down by rubbing her back slowly as she regains her composure once more.

'We kinda lost contact, or maybe... I suddenly become distant towards him. Honestly, looking back… I really don't deserve him. I didn't even call when we visit; I would just shrug his invite by saying, 'I'm too busy', or just… I ignored it. I feel like a villain, and after he passed away, those memories really hit home. I just, I regret the way I act towards him, he didn't deserve it and….'

'I just… I wish we had more time together you know… its been four years and somehow, the regret is still there. I wished he knew, how much I really loved him before he leaves us.' She felt herself wiping the tears that have fallen down with her free hand.

'I am so sorry Casey, I shouldn't have asked if that's how it gonna go.' Bryce felt guilty for the question.

'No worries Bryce, I am okay. It's been four years and I think you deserve the right answer for introducing me to this magnificent view.' She said as she squeezed his hands.

He showcased a wide smile, on his face as he said.

'For what it's worth, I think your grandfather knows how much you love him. He would be proud of the woman you become today. You are a badass doctor, and I know… he is cheering you on, smiling proudly at all you have become today. I am proud of you too Dr. Valentine.' Bryce said with a million-dollar smile on his face, as he looks at her with a proud expression on his face.

'It feels good to let this story out. You are an amazing listener.' She replies as she glanced at him in adoration.

'I am your boyfriend after all. It's a part of the whole package, including these guns.' He said gesturing his body as Casey lets out a laugh.

'Just shut up will you.' She said as she leaned forward, their lips meet as the sun starting to set behind them as a backdrop of their moment.

They pulled away as their pagers started to beep, bringing them to the real world.

'Duty calls. Let's go.' Bryce said as they stood up, making their way down the stairs. Casey stopped them in front of the metal door, earning a questionable look from him.

'Thank you for bringing me here, we should do it again sometimes.' Casey said before leaning forward once again.

'It's a date.' He replied with a happy expression as they walked hand-in-hand to start their new day together.

THE END.

A/N #2: Hii! I hope you all enjoy it!! Its one of my favs that I write (I love all of them lol, but this one hits home so.. its a top favorite of mine!) Thank you for reading it, it means a lot! Don’t forget to leave a like, reblog and leave a comment too! It really means a lot, and thank you for reading again! Hope all of you have an amazing day!! 💖

#bryce x mc #bryce lahela #casey valentine #open heart #playchoices #open heart second year #tw:death #fluff #bryce x casey #anotherbeingsworldwrites #open heart fics #bryce lahela fics

69 notes · View notes

klywrites · 4 years

Photo

last night I felt inspired to impose a ridiculous goal upon myself so this is introducing that. thanks @ellatholmes for dubbing it “feral first draft week” :D

originally i wanted to attempt to write a NEW story/book from start to finish within one week. no planning, no editing, no rules. but knowing me, i’m not going to be able to do that yet, and i’ve never done anything like this aside from NaNo but it sounds like hellish fun

y’all can join me or create your own goal/event if you want to. I’m making up my own rules/challenges for myself but you can do what works for you!

tag to blacklist if you want: #kly does ffdweek

original idea:

speedwrite a completely new story from start to finish

no planning

no editing

no deleting of any words

you are only allowed to prepare a list of names beforehand

by the end of the week you must end your story with “The End” regardless of where you are in it

what i’m doing

to make this a little easier for myself (i work and have classes 🙃), i’m going to use my main WIP

a speedwrite to the end of the first draft

rules

no prep aside from all the ideas in my head that i never write down

that’s right, all 40213 warring plotlines and character arcs are going into this draft

no significant deletes / edits

(you can if you want to, but it’ll slow you down)

let it be ugly, chaotic, messy, broken, feral

have fun and tell the perfectionism gremlins to stfu

duration

one week (7 days) ~ (you can do 5 days and rest on 2 if you want!)

starting… tomorrow! (May 16 - May 22) ~ (you can join me or choose a week that works for you)

accountability

this is meant to be fun and stress-free (aside from it being a speedwrite) but you can decide this for yourself if you need a system in place

i told my friend that if i don’t reach the end of the draft by the end of the event, i will pay him 4 million bells in animal crossing lol

important

do not neglect health for this!

if this becomes too overwhelming/stressful, take a break or stop

possible faqs

can i write my story in any genre, style, perspective, etc. ?

of course! you can do whatever you want! epistolary? valid. fragments? valid. stream of consciousness? valid. multiple choice? valid. a story told primarily in footnotes? valid. a mixed media piece? valid. who knows, you might even invent something.

can i change POV, genre, style, etc. partway through?

absolutely. you don’t need to explain it, just do it.

what do i do when i finish?

congratulate yourself! share it (or not), edit it, prepare it for Camp NaNo, publish it AS IS. whatever you want

#kly post #kly does ffdweek #feral first draft week #i'm probably doing this in the wrong week lol #but it's okay i can just do it every week i feel like it

83 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs