#i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words
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"Found out"
set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i hate having a strong cinematic image in your mind for months..working hours on it..& at the end looking you have to be like “Sure. :/"#i'm especially unsatisfied with the beginning and the end and how i can't get eyebrows to work as i want#but i dont care any more... this is probably the comic that has given me the most trouble ever i just dont care#i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now#i'm just annoyed i cant get out good enough my image of qifrey flinching bc he thinks oru will hit him but then he is not hit#i feel like sensei will do something along these lines. i want to see what she will do.#there are also other variations i have in my mind. i just want to know#i just don't want it to happen with qifrey on his deathbed or something. but it possibly will. I DONT EVEN KNOW.#i have another very cinematic image in my mind for something sort of along those lines which i will do soon. it never ends...#btw after this is probably my fics. yeah.... i think it has to be my fics. jasmine sort of goes along these lines#i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words#to process all the feelings. but i tried to get something out in a quick visual space too. <- me defending myself to myself at cai court#anyway going along the lines of 'Jasmine' - they talk this out and argue and cry and oru pushes the hat at him and tells him#why not just erase every memory i have of you then. That would be easier for us all wouldn't it?#they kiss and sob and kiss and lie outside in the flowers for many hours in that one. and then there's 'Deep End' where it turns out#way way way way more time and words is needed for this actually and that's upsetting for everyone.#the destruction of the hat is certainly another path to take. Can you make this work without that hat going up in flames?#something you have always had and have been clinging to will have to be destroyed. You have to lose something now. This is the crux qifrey#I CANT GET IT OUT IN ONE COMIC!!! I CANT DRAW IT OUT!!!! I NEEDED THOSE FICS!!!! PRAISE WORDS!!!! whatever im going to have dinner now
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Adrien is Marinette's Therapist, NOT her Boyfriend and it's Gross
Mental health struggles are no joke and, if you have those struggles, then you absolutely need a partner who will support you through them. That's why, at face value, Adrien supporting Marinette with her PTSD and anxiety is very sweet. It's what a good boyfriend should do. The problem is that Adrien is being written like her therapist, not her boyfriend.
Adrien has his own struggles with depression, loss, and paternal neglect. Yet none of these struggles are brought up once Adrien and Marinette get together. Instead, the relationship is all about her needs and struggles even though this season ends with Gabriel's take down, meaning that focusing on Adrien's issues would have made more sense from a narrative perspective. How much more powerful would the final have been if Marinette really understood Adrien, Emilie, and Gabriel's relationship?
But why do that when we can make everything about Adrienette instead? Why bother to mention Emilie when Marinette is a much better point of conflict between Adrien and Gabriel? After all, if we did that, then Adrien would have a life outside of Marinette and that would be, well, sigh, let's get into it, shall we?
In Derision, we learn that Marinette apparently doesn't have some form of anxiety or ADHD or any of the other things that people have theorized over the years. No, vanilla-Marinette is a totally relaxed, go-with-the-flow non-planner who only started planning after Chloe, Sabrina, and Kim gave her PTSD. Does this insult her character and make no sense? Yes, but let's not get into that. Let's just accept the retcon and look at the fallout of Adrien knowing that his new girlfriend has massive trauma that's mainly focused on romance and controlling situations.
The very next episode is Intuition. In it we see Marinette calling Adrien to show off her ability to do things without planning (or, at least, with less planning) and it's clear from context that this is an exercise that they're doing:
Adrien: Well... (his phone rings) Fancy that! Marinette! I like spending time with Marinette. (picks up his phone)
Marinette: (on-call) Guess what I'm calling for: nothing! Can you believe it? I'm calling you randomly, totally out of the blue, for no reason at all!
Adrien: So you didn't write down everything you might need to say to me based on everything I might say to you?
Marinette: Not at all! Well... I did. I really tried not to, you know, but it was too hard! Anyhow, I limited myself to fourteen possible conversations, including this one!
Adrien: Congratulations!
Marinette: (on-call) Thank you!
Adrien: And did you prepare questions for science class?
Marinette: (on-call) Not-a-one! Not even for the live video conference we're doing with Max's mom on the super awesome Tsurugi space jet! I, Marinette, will improvise questions, unpredictably, without planning anything!
In the context of the show, this conversation is deeply concerning and I don't know wtf the writers think they're doing. There is no way in hell that a 14-year-old should be guiding his girlfriend through a therapy session or therapy exercise unless he has the guidance and approval of a trained mental health professional.
Seriously look at what Adrien is doing in this dialogue: Marinette tells him that she's called him without planning and he doesn't just say "that's great!" Instead, he asks if that's true, congratulates her for her mild improvement, and then prompts her to talk about another situation where she would plan things out. In other words, he's asking about the therapy homework that he's clearly given her or that they've decided on together. It's also clear that this isn't their first discussion on the topic because he's very comfortable knowing what to ask about to see if she's done her homework right.
Why was this homework chosen? Who knows! It certainly wasn't picked by someone with training! A therapist wouldn't tell you to avoid planning for a school assignment (something that we've never seen Marinette overplan before, but once again, we're ignoring the retcon). This scene would arguably be inappropriate for an established adult relationship, but a nascent teenage one? Absolutely not.
My SO and I have both done therapy and seen wildly unbalanced relationships. This conversation threw massive red flags for us on both fronts. This is not what a healthy relationship looks like. This is not a give and take. This is why you need a therapist to at least guide you through this type of situation or you will set yourself up in roles where person A is not getting their needs met because the relationship has an established dynamic where person A is the giver and person B is the taker.
This is especially true for a young relationship that's just getting its feet off of the ground. They're supposed to be in the honeymoon phase! More established relationships are better able to handle phases where one person needs more support than the other which absolutely happens and is totally normal. However, when those things happen, it's vital for the supporting partner to have their own support since they can't get it from their partner.
Miraculous denies Adrien this suport. In the very next episode, we get this:
Adrien: I've always seen Marinette acting funny in my presence. I thought that was just the way she was. I thought it was sweet. I thought it was just her charm. But now that I know it's because she loves me and she freaks out about telling me, I feel bad. Because it means that this whole time she's been uncomfortable around me, and I haven't done anything to help her.
Kagami: But you didn't know.
Adrien: It doesn't take away from her suffering. I just wish she could feel more at ease when she's with me. Otherwise, one day, it'll be too late and she'll give up.
Kagami: What can I do to help, Adrien?
Adrien: Thanks, but it's not up to you or anyone else to help. I'm the one who's gotta do something.
No! Adrien, you are not equipped to deal with this solo. Ask Kagami to help! Ask Alya to help! Ask Marinette's parents to help! There are times when it's okay to involve others in your relationship and this is one of those times! This isn't even a relationship issue! It's a mental health issue! I know we're flipping gender roles here, but it's not somehow cute or healthy just because a guy is trying to "fix" the girl for once. No one should try to take on that task. This is what therapy is for.
If therapy is not an option for financial or other reasons, then yes, sometimes you have to struggle through and loved ones can help, but in TV land? Especially aimed-at-kids TV land? Show the ideal scenario! At the very least, show a support network! And I mean actual support, not Kagami asking to help and Adrien shooting her down! Writers, you are making Gabriel's dislike of Marinette valid! You are making it so that she is dragging Adrien down! Stop doing that!
Adrien deserves love and support, too. Adrien deserves to be romanced. Adrien deserves more than a kiss and an "I love you" that he had to fight to hear! He never even gets one of the presents from Marinette's chest. She did more to woo him before they got together and it's such pathetic writing.
The fun of getting these two together is letting them do all the stuff they've always wanted to do! Let Marinette bring him macrons! Let him bring her roses! Let her enhance his wardrobe! Let him write her poems! Let them be a healthy, balanced, sickeningly-cute couple! It's fine if she's nervous at the start and takes a while to act normal, but this show takes it to a level beyond teenage jitters and it's not funny or cute. It's concerning.
All of these issues start with Derision's romance-based-PTSD retcon and it was the worst thing they could have done for the Love Square. It poisons the rest of the season and is why I just can't ship these two in canon even though I love what they could have been. They have established such a horrifically unhealthy dynamic that I can't see this ending well unless they get couple's therapy in the very near future and that's not even touching on the baggage that will come from the lies and still unresolved Ladynoir trauma.
As soon as Marinette has romance-based PTSD, she was incapable of being in a relationship until after she'd learned to manage her PTSD. (PTSD cannot be cured, btw, you just learn how to manage it and the symptoms can lessen.) The writers apparently knew that. It's why they gave her a therapist to support her as she worked through her issues and got to the point where she can say "I love you". His name is Adrien. Isn't he cute?
#ml writing salt#ml writing critical#ml season 5 salt#adrien deserves better#suffering through a rewatch of season 5 for love of my so#ml intuition#ml derision#ml perfection#marinette deserves better#I just wanted a cute romance not whatever the writers think they're doing
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
I was tagged by @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove and I felt like some public masochism so here we are!
Edit: Holy fuck this got long, putting it under a read-more.
How many works do you have on ao3?
258 although I orphaned 100 works back in 2020.
What's your total Ao3 word count?
Why. Why would you ask me this. Why would you do this to me.
4,578,245 - although I shudder to think how much it will have gone up by the end of the year.
What fandoms do you write for?
Mostly 9-1-1, but I took a nosedive into Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves last year and still have one more fic I'm writing for it. I tend to have quick little detours into other fandoms, which I think is overall a good thing since it helps me flex my writing muscles with different characters and settings. I'm currently working on a fic that is from a show where the main characters are all constantly sassing each other and bickering, and it's pushed me into being witty and sharp with the dialogue and humor in a way that I don't think I have been in quite some time.
Top 5 Fics by Kudos:
Even Steel Blades Need Fire - that's right, a WITCHER fic. HA. You all weren't expecting that!
Leading with the Left - yeah yeah we all knew this one was coming.
Drowning in Dreams (You're My Raft) - I'm constantly surprised this little oneshot I wrote post-tsunami is so popular.
Footprints are More Easily Seen in the Snow - my first Witcher fic I ever wrote and might still actually be my favorite.
Sometimes a Hammer, Sometimes a Lockpick - another Witcher fic! I had a lot of fun with this one.
Do you respond to comments?
I do! I try to respond to every comment I get. I know not everyone can but given the anxiety I know readers have around giving comments I try to show how much every comment is appreciated by me.
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I do happy endings, overall, but every once in a while I decide to be evil, so it's a tie between the two fics that are about a character dying:
The Soft Goodbye - a Timeless fic that focuses on the idea that time travel, like being in space for a long time, wreaks havoc on your body.
Full Circle - a Doctor Who fic written years ago speculating about the Doctor gifting a dying Donna her memories back so they can say goodbye.
For those of you in the 9-1-1 fandom however, since I'm sure everyone's looking at those two fics going "wait what," the fic with the angstiest ending is:
I'm Not Breathing Unless I'm Giving You CPR - spoiler alert, but I end this fic on an angsty and purposefully ambiguous note. It's up to the reader to decide what sort of ending they get.
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Uh. All of them, I'd say? With the exception of the two MCD fics above, I deliver happy endings. However based on reader feedback, I think I'll go with...
Your Love is an Oil Slick (It Glows Like Rainbows, It Stains My Soul) - the amount of angst in this fic, especially the Bobby and Buck relationship, seems to hit readers extra hard and so the happy ending, especially Buck's reunion with his father figure, is extra joyful and cathartic.
Do you get hate on fics?
I have once in a blue moon gotten "flames," as we used to say. Writing fanfic since I was thirteen, I don't think it's possible to fully avoid a few cranky people with nothing better to do than go around and shit on people's beds. But I've been extraordinarily lucky in the love and kindness I've gotten from my readers.
Do you write smut?
Baby, it's what I'm known for. Honestly sometimes to my chagrin - I hope people enjoy my worldbuilding, characterization, and plots as well - but overall I have a lot of fun writing smut and I love reducing people to slack-jawed water-chugging babbles.
Also someone had to bring the monsterfucking around here so by golly I'm reporting for duty.
Craziest crossover?
I don't do crossovers.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yup! Someone stole my Budde Porn Star AU and turned it into a Rooster/Hangman from TG:M fic. Someone kindly alerted me and I was able to report it to Ao3. Truly a surreal experience.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
I have! Multiple times. It's deeply flattering and I really admire translators who put in the work to take something from one language and convey the same meanings, flow, and story in another. Translation is a genuine art form, if you ask me.
Have you co-written a fic before?
Yes! A few times, all with my beloved @extasiswings. We did one Timeless fic together whispers like poetry and we had such fun that when I started my first long, plot-ty Buddie fic I Hit the Accelerator (But the Car was in Reverse) and panicked, I roped her into finishing it with me.
We also co-wrote Carbon Date Me, Excavate Me because I was in a bad writing slump and she graciously made everything better, and then A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words (But Love is Undefinable) because she uno reverse'd me.
All time favorite ship?
I've been shipping for so long it's incredibly hard to pick just one, but I think given the sheer depth of my insanity, I have to say Buddie. I haven't had a ship grip me like this in... ever, actually. Honestly after being burned hard on some previous ships in my time, names redacted to protect the guilty (me), I didn't think it was possible to love a ship this much, and yet here I am.
What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
I plan to finish all of my WIPs. Once I start a fic I'm committed to finishing it. I do however have a couple fic ideas that I don't think I'll ever actually write.
What are your writing strengths?
Um. Smut, apparently. I also seem to do well with fusions; that is, taking one trope or setting and fusing it with another in a sort of plot mash-up. And people seem to really like my world building.
What are your writing weaknesses?
I'm a hyper-sexual person who is very casual about sexual relationships and so sometimes I think as a result I have characters think with their cocks a bit too much and jump too quickly into sex, and sometimes there's more smut than plot. Run-on sentences, my beloved (and my editor's beloathed). I tend to write out-of-order and so sometimes little plot details can contradict, not be followed up on, or get lost in the shuffle.
Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
I don't really write dialogue in another language in most of my fandoms, but in a few it's come up and I've approached it in different ways.
In Timeless, the character Garcia Flynn's first language is Croatian, so I would have him sometimes speak in it. In my dragon!Jaskier series, I was able to bastardize some of the Draconic from D&D (mixed with some Germanic root languages) for when he was cursing or communicating with his draconic family. In both cases, the other language was limited to only a line or two of dialogue, or perhaps a single word, so I wrote the dialogue in that language, and then had a translation guide at the bottom of the fic.
This tends to be my modus operandi, an exception being Xenk speaking Thayan, because I couldn't find any actual Thayan for the life of me, so I just describe how the phrase sounds or allude to him muttering something/swearing/etc. Since Ed, a former spy, also speaks Thayan, he can then inform the reader through his thought-process what the Thayan meant.
Occasionally, I will have two characters speaking in another language and simply italicize their words and have a line of description saying "they switch to French" or something similar, since I don't want readers to have to scroll up and down to understand an entire conversation.
In my original novels, however - the Horsemen quartet specifically - the characters communicate about fifty percent of the time through sign language. It's become the lingua franca, because noise alerts zombies and ASL is a silent language. In the books, I write the dialogue as I would English, and simply have the dialogue tag "she signed" instead of "she said."
As someone who speaks other languages but for whom English is their first, I'm not sure I get to really speak on how and when one should use other languages in one's predominantly-English fic in a predominantly-English-speaking fandom and online space. All I can say is that I listen to what others say in regards to what is most respectful and comfortable, and I don't have any personal preference in how a writer handles the use of secondary languages in their writing.
First fandom you wrote in?
I'm not sure which came first since they were right on top of each other, but Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean.
Favorite fic you've written?
Well that's just mean. How dare you. I don't have one favorite fic, that's like asking me to choose a favorite child.
I will say I am particularly fond of In the Gray You are Golden. I banged it out in a day in some kind of fugue state and I do think it's one of my best works.
Someday when I am filthy rich I will commission someone to draw it as a comic, especially the reunion scene between Buck, Eddie, and Christopher.
Tagging, with no pressure:
@princessfbi @buckttommy @extasiswings @kitkatpancakestack @gracieryder (once again I typed your fucking old url like five times...)
aaaaaaand @givemeunicorns.
#mads writes stuff#tagging thing#about mads#princessfbi#buckttommy#extasiswings#kitkatpancakestack#gracieryder#mistmarauder#givemeunicorns
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My friend just moved to a her grandmas old place and she doesn't have internet, so instead we dug out Grandma's trusty VHS collection and watched a bunch of movies from the cusp of Y2K. We also have plans to dig out more because this is our thing now, fuck Netflix. So here's my reviews so far:
Holes. what a GREAT fucking movie. Good message that is blatantly anti-prison industrial complex and anti-capitalist. good morals, good soundtrack, great casting, the author of the text wrote the screenplay so it hits hard like the book does, the romance between Kate and Sam will be goals to me forever. "I can fix that"!?!? KILL ME JFJDJWKWKFNJRNE 11/10 good shit. youuUuUUUU got to goOooOoo dig those hooooles 🎶
Another one that's still good? POTC: curse of the black pearl. Yes it's Johnny Depp Disney Garbage Trash, but it's WRITTEN SO WELL. Whatever writers they got for that shit obviously have written many a fanfic (positive! praise!!) bc the dynamics and dialogue btwn characters flow so smoothly. It's absolutely and utterly unlike real life, it's just the pirate story we all always wished we could be in, and it's still an absolute blast. for that I award it 9/10. This one was funny bc it came out on VHS in time for the commercials to be advertising DVDs.
Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius? This one's hard, cus this was one of my FAVORITE movies growing up. I noticed going in, however, that I remembered far less about what happens to Jimmy and his friends then I did about Caveman. Basically all I remembered was Jimmy's dad is stupid, and "when I sneeze it looks like a advanced species too." and that's bc Jimmy Neutron is a completely vapid and inane tale with absolutely no message, that unfortunately did not stand the test of time to me personally. It's pretty much unremarkable. they try to mix the "he's a genius baby" humor with 5th grader booger jokes and it just doesn't work, the booger humor doesn't land for adults and the genius humor isn't quite smart enough to be actually funny most of the time. Tbqh I think watching this as an adult gives me more ideas for horror movies than anything else. They go into space ON ROLLER COASTERS, WITHOUT HELMETS!!! They're fighting an entire civilization of space traveling ritual sacrificing EGGS and they have A SINGULAR! ONE! CHILD! ARMY! TO FIGHT THEM!!!! THEY CANT BREATHE OUT THERE! that's too scary I can't take it seriously lmao. 4/10 with all positive points going to Jimmy's hot mom and himbo dad (ideal romance tbh and where 90% of the humor comes from), Carl, Sheen, and Cindy, for screaming "THOSE FINDINGS WERE INCONCLUSIVE AND YOU KNOW IT" during their first on screen fight, that joke did actually land so they can have a cookie for it. And the teacher who gets turned small and gets left that way forever. What the fuck lmao
We also watched Pocahontas and I mean. Even as a kid watching that one was more of a lesson in "here's how NOT to talk about history," and as an adult, her "romance" with John Smith is more weak and pathetic than anything I've ever seen before or since! We got to "Savages" and all I could think was "Disneys orchestra really put their whole pussy into this one, huh?!?" I wish I could say the rest of the movie/soundtrack made it worthwhile but I'm gonna go with a solid 2/10 here. we still had a fun time tearing into their choices, and the aesthetic of an old Disney movie watched on VHS like nature intended is a form of ASMR. I didn't realize how much I missed the clackety clack of the plastic cases or the smell of a warm, freshly rewound tape. <3 good shit.
Stay tuned for more of my 20 Years Later: VHS Reviews No One Fucking Asked For! we're holding out hope that her parents still have my friends own VHS collection bc her and her sister used to have a banging VHS collection and I NEED to see Quest for Camelot.
#me#film#listening to music from the same era lately too#i just put Simple Plans debut album back in my rotation bc its soooooo funnnyyyyy oh my god#the christmas list song 😭😭#i want a girl in my bed who knows what to do! A PLAYSTATION 2! i want a (1) dvd! a big screen tv!! 😭#IM JUST A KID AND LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE! IM JUST A KIIIIID I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT FAIR!!!! NOBODY CARES CUS IM ALONE AND THE WORLD IS#HAVING MORE FUN THAN MEEEEEEEEEEEE... to night 😔#the song where he straight up fucks an alien#iconic shit
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EXTENDS MY HANDS.... DO YOU HAVE ANY CABLE COMIC RECS........ deadpool can be there too i guess
hilarious... hilarious... with all the cable comics i've been reading lately you'd THINK i'd have recs but honestly i don't. i've been reading all the cable comics i can get my hands on but his comics are really boring or confusing and i'm so sorry. it's no wonder they're always in the bargain bin. i'm so so so so so so sorry nathan summers. i still buy the comics because you look stupid hunky in them. and i'm a simple girl with simple needs.
nathan: [time-travel dialogue that makes no fucking sense to me]
me, twirling my hair and kicking my feet: hahaha noo cable don't expo-dump me you're so hooot hahahaha...
i think the x-force stuff and the new mutants stuff might be more interesting - i think maybe cable works better as leader of a team (his usual role) or paired up with a foil (aka deadpool) vs solo, he's just not interesting enough to carry anything on his own (sorry)
that being said, my rec list will probably have a significant deadpool bias, because deadpool happens to often be the spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down, as it were - i think the thing that makes nate work is when other characters Point Out how ridiculous he is. and wade wilson kind of built an entire career off of that.
i think when nate's played straight (ha) he's just not my bag - i think he needs to play off of characters that reveal just how silly he is. especially since stakes are often so high with nate - time-stream space-time-continuum sort of stuff - it asks a lot of you. so you need someone there to keep things kind of silly. i always prefer lower-stake stuff, personally - otherwise, the thing needs levity from somewhere.
his most recent series was cute (bable my beloved) - written by duggan (who is Not my favourite deadpool writer, and also wrote uncanny avengers - general consensus is that duggan doesn't really Get Cable, but his stuff is still very readable.) (deadpool is there, also.)
on the topic - uncanny avengers (2015) - i kind of don't like the way nate is written here - very stoic, unfeeling, very hyper-macho. but he looks really sexy (even with his receding hairline.)
speaking of this particular artist that draws nate so sexily - deadpool vs x-force. beeeeeeyoing. i think it might be one of my favourite books with nate in. for entirely shallow reasons.
daddy? sorry. daddy? sorry. d
i've read the cable (2008) series and it was - kind of an infuriating experience, admittedly. the writing is confusing, and the art is actually insanely infuriating to me. like i wanted to scream while reading this series. it's sensory overload. a lot of cable comics feel like that for me, actually. i found this entire book in the bargain bin for like, £2 and STILL didn't buy it because i hated reading it so much.
that being said:
daddy? s
god. his head is so tiny. whatthefuck.
i think my favourite cable stuff i've read is probably niceiza's stuff (again. fuck.) and i think it's for the same reason why i like his deadpool stuff the most too - everywhere else I see nate he's this rugged tough guy who's kind of intentionally one-dimensional and hardcore - but when i read niceiza's nate he's kind of stupid sometimes. he's stupid and his worldview is kind of perplexing and ridiculous, and we're kind of perpetually infuriated by him but kind of feel for him because we have a real sense that he's trying so hard. it's not just cool-guy i have a massive gun check out my massive gun i don't have time for emotions i have a time-stream to fix sort of stuff - nate gets a weird kind of vulnerability in niceiza's stuff, and he's constantly, literally de-powered. niceiza loves de-powering him. and i love to see a nathan summers de-powered. he's so sexy when he's pathetic. i love pathetic men. and niceiza just so happens to have a knack for writing the most pathetic men i've ever seen.
so cable & deadpool (2004) and deadpool & cable: split second, obviously. do i even need to say it.
i'd love it if anyone had any recs for what people feel is the definitive cable - like, cable fans, if you could point at a book and say "THIS IS IT. THIS IS NATHAN SUMMERS AS HE WAS INTENDED." i'd love to read it, i'd love to read it. i know there's definitely comics i can point to for deadpool when it comes to that - but i think everyone takes something different from these characters - and a character like nate, i've seen so so so many different interpretations of him in fanon that always get me curious.
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bunnyguard reflection
in the spirit of 'fuckit it's my own blog i can be sappy if i want to' as well as 'this took a year and 78k and i get to keep talking about it for at least one more day' now and here is the time and place for personal yap that did not go in the last author's note.
preliminarily speaking, i had this concept in mind before I'd finished either the usagi yojimbo comics OR watching Rise. i spent so much of both of those series fishing out little moments and choices by leo and usagi that made me go 'oh my god i NEED these guys to meet, i need to watch them bounce off each other.' I kept collecting snips of ideas, and dialogue, and encounters that never quite all panned out or fit together because this was just so much fun for me to play in. I had a lot of wanting to turn this into a real story but no concrete frame to build it on, and then in january i saw the year of the otp prompts go by. and went 'oh haha that looks fun.' it was even the year of the rabbit. and then i went 'oh!! what if i did VIGNETTES for these!!' and then less than three days later the Battle Nexus as political element of the Hidden City, complete with connections to the very different other iteration of it that we'd seen, fell into place and suddenly this silly little whim was an actual big project staring me down with an ambitious goal in mind, and I had no idea if I could pull it off.
structuring it as a month by month thing was something i'd never done before. it forced me to wait to find out what would happen, to keep building to something that didn't exist yet, to lay down the track while I was driving the train. and at the same time, it gave me space to grow, to practice putting together a beginning, middle, and end every month. and it gave me something to look forward to, and the excitement of dropping in threads that wouldn't pay off for months, and watching as it went to see what the audience reaction would be. were people getting out of it the things i wanted to give them? was i hitting the notes i wanted? i had the sketch of the year, but i was still learning what was going to happen until the moment the last word hit the page. plot and character choices, but also big thematic stuff! i described November's fic as 'the ten of swords' to Space and then went 'wait a fucking second' and realized that I could draw a connection, in order, between each fic and a numerical card of tarot's suit of swords. (mostly one-to-one --october straddles 9-10, and December loops us back around to the Ace of swords, for new beginnings.) i couldn't have done that on purpose. if i'd had that thought in january i would have gone 'no that's too pretentious and too hard' and avoided it.
also!! this has been a year of my life!! over the course of this series, i've had four different living situations (that lasted longer than a week), two different jobs, and gone back to school. i had to change meds, which was an anxious ordeal in 'am i even going to be able to focus on anything now?' the cat that was purring on my lap while i worked on the first few months has now passed away. this fic kept me company on the flight for my move to a different continent. it kept me sane in the middle of a very stressful summer. it's helped me meet and get closer to some really cool people. i can FEEL how it's made me a stronger writer.
and on top of all that: i am deeply, genuinely, truly proud of this series. i'm glad i wrote it. i'm amazed at how it's turned out. i can see things i would change if i did it over, but i'm glad i won't be. i'm glad this is the way it exists. and i am utterly blown away that there are people who told me they were looking forward to it every month, that they've been following it since the beginning, that they like what i've done with this place. this is the longest-term project i've ever done. it's the most words i've ever put into a single narrative. i can't believe it's never going on my wip rotation again. whadda hell.
i have no idea if i'll ever do anything like this again. i hope it won't be anytime soon--there are other things i want to do in the meantime. but god, am i glad i did it.
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hi birdie! just saw your post about impostor syndrome hitting you and i just wanted to remind you what an excellent artist and writer you are. i know it's difficult to think so when impostor syndrome is at its highest, but i do hope this brings some comfort anyways! <3
as a writer, i cannot being to explain why your writings are out of this world, insane, crazy, wonderful. whatever emotion you try to go for, you achieve it in a way that it just clings to the reader's mind and carves a place in our bones. your dialogues, your world-building, the details, the characterisation, the sadness, the joy, the despair, the love, the yearning, the rage, the passion…. i've cried reading your writings, because they hit so hard in my heart that i just cannot stay quiet about it. and i have devoured your smut, and i have laughed with the lucemond kids' shenanigans. you have a way with words, you are so unique. i consume every single piece you publish, and i would consume any book of your own if you published, too. you were one of the first writers i read and followed when i came to this fandom and i just hope i can keep supporting you in anything you do.
as an artist, your talent knows no limits. that magic you have putting emotions into words, well, you also have it when you draw the faces of your characters. it's like looking at them in the eye, their smiles and the twitches and tilts you capture so well, and it feels like i'm looking at a real person with real emotions. i'm in love with your style, from the sketch to the colouring to the way i can see any of your art out of context and know it's yours. you have magic in your fingers, and daily dust in your soul and in your mind, and that's why every single piece you draw and you write is a treasure to be kept and protected, love and cherished.
personally, i know we haven't talked much, but you have been so kind to me. and i just love your sense of humor, your commitment, the way you treat with such respect and love your readers. how you give your heart to answer to our asks and questions just as you give it to create content.
we're very lucky to have you in this fandom, a nd i will always be grateful for every single thing that you have given us that has made me fell even more in love with lucerys, with aemond, with lucemond. with this site and with the culture of fan creating and providing.
you're a star, and i just hope i can continue to see how much you achieve as time goes by! we have your back! you don't know how much your writings and your art mean to people, and i know because i'm one of those and i have friends with whom i talked about your creations! you made hundreds of people from different places in the world to fall in love with what you do! i would say that's such a pretty neat job! <3 <3 <3
hope you feel better soon! i'm here if you ever need to talk! sending you the biggest hug and the best of vibes!!!!!! <3 <3 <3
i’ve waited a couple days to answer this because i’m genuinely speechless. i don’t cry very easily for reasons but reading this, especially after such a hard day, made me tear up. there really aren’t words to convey how grateful i am for everyone here that has supported my works. lucemond and this little community we have built have really became a safe space for me to ramble and share my stuff without fear.
i’m eternally grateful for every single person that send me asks, comments, or just comes round to check my stuff out. this is one of, if not the kindest things i’ve ever received and i hope that i can continue to make y’all as happy as you all make me <333
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20 Questions for Fic Writers Game
Tagged by @autisticempathydaemon ! Not tagging anyone but you're welcome to do it and say I tagged you if you'd like.
1 - How many works do you have on AO3?
32! Mostly Redacted at the moment, but I'm branching out.
2 - What's your total AO3 word count?
116,795... which is way more than I expected tbh
3 - What fandoms do you write for?
It's a bit of a smattering at the moment! Dragon Age and Redacted ASMR are the main ones, though I've been easing out of publishing my Redacted work recently.
4 - What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1.) Take Me Down (HQ!!)
2.) Click Click Boom (BNHA)
3.) Shatter (BNHA)
4.) Down, Boy (Redacted)
5.) Hungry Like The Wolf (Redacted)
5 - Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I usually do, but not always. If it's something substantial or more than "seconds kudos" I'll respond!
6 - What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I don't have any published angst ending type fics, so the closest I have is Light Untiring, my fic for a Dragon Age reverse big bang.
7 -What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
settle down (with you), my Geordi/Cutie fluff fic!
8 - Do you get hate on fics?
Occasionally, yeah. I find keeping the comments moderated helps a bit though.
9 - Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I write a LOT of smut, lol. I tend to veer towards smut that explores character motivations, but some of it is just filth for filths sake.
10 - Do you write crossovers?
Not really, no. I find the settings impact too crucial to the character's development and compellingness that I probably wouldn't find it appealing.
11 - Have you ever had a fic stolen?
In the past under a previous pseudonym, yes :/
12 - Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, but I think this doesn't happen very often in general. It's mostly a Big Fics reserved honor imo
13 - Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yup! Doesn't happen very often though, since I find it can be hard to mesh writing styles well enough that it isn't jarring to readers.
14 - What's your all time favorite ship?
Hmmm. Honestly Zevran x Warden is an enduring favorite. I have a soft spot for a lot of ships, but that one has endured quite a while now. Honorary mentions to fenders and handers tho I can't lie
15 - What's a WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Hhhhh, my Nydha Lavellan longfic honestly. I just struggle with motivation and I've improved a lot since the original scrapped wip, so I suspect I'll end up starting it completely over again. Fic planning is hard yall
16 - What are your writing strengths?
I think I'm quite good at characterization, particularly in dialogue!
17 - What are your writing weaknesses?
Actually outlining BEFORE starting the fic properly and writing action scenes
18 - Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I think it's hard to make it sound natural if you don't speak the language, particularly sign languages like ASL and BSL. You can definitely write dialogue in another language but if you're translating things it can take some research and fiddling to make it sound right.
19 - First fandom you wrote for?
It was eons ago now, but probably warrior cats? I wrote fanfic on paper back then though.
20 - Favorite fic you've written?
If I'm defining it as favorite end product, probably Down, Boy, though I just looked at it and realized I need to fix some spacing in there. Oopsies.
In terms of favorite to write, my Nydha Lavellan x Dorian fic was probably the most fun. I think I've really improved as a writer and it's fun to stick in cameos of other friend's OCs too!
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I'm not quite sure which ones I have sent you already, so feel free to skip any <3
14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer?
26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?
29. What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for Butterfly Queen? Explain your choices if you want!
38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?
Thank yoooouuu! Okay, trying this for the second time now, seeing as my laptop decided to shut all my windows and delete my answers...
14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer?
Kid fics, I think. I'm not generally a fan of them because they just don't suit the vast majority of my ships, and they need to be done a particular way for me to enjoy them. I'm not generally very interested in children XD So there's that.
And smut. I've read a few, some better and more memorable than others, and the ones I enjoyed pretty much always carried a lot of emotional weight. Smut just plain bores me a lot of times because I have no connection to any desire to have sex.
26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?
Definitely no dialogue because I love rambling, exploring characters' inner workings, and examining them very closely. Technically my Anura drabble is a fic with no dialogue, and Songs of Love and Death has quite a few chapters with hardly any dialogue at all because they were very introspective.
(as a side note for the only dialogue one, I have written plays and short audio scripts which are technically only dialogue. I'm just gonna link them here: Sontaran Composition, Amnesia, and Captured in Space)
29. What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for Butterfly Queen?
This is a hard one seeing as the fic is quite fluffy and positive and all my music goes in pretty much the opposite direction (look I just love either yearning or dramatic shit XD), but I will try to leave you at least a few songs...
youtube
Something something memory of her past, butterflies as a reminder, Jenny singing Vastra to sleep, or perhaps the memory of her mother(s) telling her to sleep in her head? Honestly the possibilities are endless, and the entrancing music and singing itself is just so magical to me.
youtube
This one's also fairly early on in the fic, as it's quite weighty and emotional. Also the song is Jenny/Vastra coded as FUCK. I'm going insane over it daily <3
youtube
Absolutely the wrong time period as this is medieval, but I love how bouncy it is and the spring vibes it has, and I think that fits quite well, despite the period obviously being a different one.
youtube
Some more instrumental that fits Vastra as a whole quite well, I think.
youtube
And something very positive and sweet! Honestly? This fits quite well XD
Just gliding on through
Looking down on the view from up here
And from up here
The world is all yours
Each mountain and meadow and mere
And from up here
Life's duties and chores
Are barely worth shedding a tear
And all of the sky lies before us
Straight up to the far stratosphere
So head for the blue and let's take in the view from up here
It's just me and you looking down on the view from up here
Lyrics
38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?
I mean, this kinda goes for every single fandom outside of my little niche because there's actually a wider audience for them out there. I will say tho, the constant popularity of my KyaLin stuff (relative for me) made me reluctant to write them because that's kinda not anywhere near my main thing... I'm taking my two The Dragon Prince fics with the most kudos out of that because I think that was a spam attack (I also got like a dozen spam comments on each of them...)
I suppose one that did come as a surprise was my Lilith Clawthorne coming out fic? I had never written The Owl House before that (and quite frankly barely afterwards), and it was quite interesting!
But focusing on my Doctor Who ones which are my main thing, I'm surprised that both Pacing (a Thasmin fic with a heavy focus on autistic 13) and Emerald Scales (Colours Soulmate AU) got over 80 kudos. And You're not useless, never, to me... is also a surprise because reading it back, damn that was EARLY writing and could so do with a rewrite XD
Also, Burning Love (Jennah/Anise from Guild Wars 2) got a whooping NINE kudos, which is quite frankly so surprising considering there are seven fics about them and two of them are mine? Every single kudo/comment on my Guild Wars fics is a win for me honestly, it's by far the smallest fandom (in terms of interest in the canon characters) I write for.
I suppose most of the stuff outside Doctor Who is popular because I'm not filling a niche with an audience of 20 people at BEST. My Thasmin and Osgate stuff tends to be well-received as well, but I've just chosen a niche for me with a very small audience... XD
Thank you so much for the ask, and I hope you are happy with these answers :3
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Curious about writers' methods! What's your strategy for getting through scenes that you find tricky or boring to write?
put it off for six months, start 350 other projects, spiral, quit writing forever, open and close google docs 373626827 times, spiral again, take too much sudafed at the airport and suddenly finish it in 20 minutes
for real though i am probably not a person who should be giving writing advice but here are some things that help me
take a break for a few days, don't even look at it, then come back with fresh eyes. i've seen people advise that you skip the hard scene and write an easier one, then come back later; i'm sure this works for some people, but i have never been able to do it. even in a nonlinear/nonchronological narrative, there's just a certain momentum, tension, whatever that builds through a story and if i skip around i feel like i'm disrupting that. howEVER, sometimes it helps to work on a different project or not work on anything for a while just to clear my head
if it's boring to write, it's probably gonna be boring to read. sometimes you might have to write expository dialogue or set something up for later, but you can make those scenes do double-duty for you: set a mood, reveal a character dynamic, break things up with some action/comedy/horror, play with your running motifs, get weird with it. there are ways to make boring stuff seem incidental to something more interesting
i read somewhere that writers who think visually tend to get bogged down in unnecessary description of the way characters move through space and how they're interacting with the setting. i don't know if this is true for everybody but it's 10000000% true for me and i think it's the main thing that makes scenes difficult and dissatisfying to write. when i first started writing i thought it was really important to follow through on things like characters putting down what they're holding, moving from where they were to where they are, etc. it is not that fucking important. i have to remind myself all the time. the reader will put together why the character is over there now or has a hand free. there are reasons to describe that stuff when you're setting something up or keeping a certain pace but it's just not always necessary and a lot of scenes really benefit from having the blocking, setting description, etc stripped out to focus on what's actually happening.
think about the point of the scene: why do you need it, what's the idea you're trying to put across, is there a certain emotional core or a mood you're building? what's necessary to accomplish that and what can you lose? is the scene even necessary or can you get by with a brief summary of what happens? i've written so many scenes with a whole dialogue interaction, scene-setting, time markers, etc, only to replace the whole thing with "they discussed it, and..." or "after the party, they...." or whatever. it is infuriating when this happens but learning to let that shit go is incredibly freeing.
skip the setup/preamble/transition, start right before or in the middle of what's happening and backfill what you need via dialogue, flashback, just saying what happened, whatever. sometimes even starting after the main event and focusing on the aftermath works. this kind of goes to the previous two points: you just don't have to tell the reader everything that happened, you can focus on what's important and fill in whatever background as needed.
just get through it and take comfort in the fact that if it's bad you can start over. i often just start by writing whatever shitty version of the scene i can manage: just the beats or the dialogue, or a rambly boring disorganized digressive draft that sucks. then i delete it and rewrite it. i have written so many things twice (or more) because i had to get the shitty version out first before i could figure out how i actually wanted to approach the scene or the story. a lot of times the things that are really important to communicate or give the story its heart don't become clear to me until i've written a first draft. i have a roughly 10k fic sitting around right now because i like the idea but it just sucks and needs to be rewritten from scratch. it's ok. it's not wasted effort, it's part of the process of refining your thoughts.
thank you for the question anon!!!!!!!
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Discovery S5E1 first reactions (spoilers)
Every season, Star Trek's ugly duckling starts finding its footing a little better. I'm actually sad now its at its end.
I was prepared to be grumpy. For the first half hour or so, I was a little bit of a sourpuss. All the classic Discovery sins were on display in full force.
The main character syndrome. Burnham is leading from the front. Again. Didn't we have a whole season character arc about how captaining means sometimes you have to delegate?
Okay, okay, don't at me. The reasons for her to Kirk it up in the thick of things were reasonably well thought out.
I'm really torn between appreciating the whole "Iron Man" sequence in space as a smart, logical extrapolation of the technological development of the series and just being somewhat numb and feeling like the whole thing was rule of cool from start to finish.
They better not skimp out on Raynor's backstory and motives, because thus far every call he's made has been even more devoid of compassion as Captain Shaw, but critically none of his hard man making hard choices directives make sense. He's being set up as an Ahab type character.
Now this isn't the first time we've have a Starfleet Ahab. Ben Maxwell was just such a character. Critically though, he was a renegade that our hero characters were called in to hunt down like a mad dog precisely because, understandable motives or not, he was so far outside the bell curve for acceptable Starfleet standards for rules of engagement, compassion etc. that he was on the verge of provoking a war with the Cardassians.
A war that a lot of revisionist fans, mapping Cardassia and its ultimate alliance with the Dominion to Russia and the invasion of Ukraine, have come around to thinking a preventative war was good and cool, rather than risking an apocalypse. I've talked about this a few times, but the fact that the protomatter, temporal, isolytic, trilithium, biological etc. weapons haven't been deployed in quantity in the wars that have been depicted in Trek means everyone got damn lucky. Strange New Worlds has even seen fit to remind us that even with just conventional weapons, its not hard for casualties to run up into the millions given the scale of the civilizations butting heads.
But that's a rant for another time.
So Raynor being within spitting distance, if not wholly inside of the Section 31 anything for the mission mentality, is irksome. I'm probably not doing my due diligence by complaining without watching episode two yet, but still its a bad look. Its a nasty callback to depictions of casual jerkiness and military caricature from Picard's third season and Discovery's first.
Also I don't care about Burnham and Book’s relationship. I just don't. Nor am I particularly interested in Tilly finding love. They’re all fine and interesting characters without needing to inject relationship drama into the mix. This show has really started to feel like it doesn’t need to rely on cheap sources of melodrama. Finding love isn't the only pathway to character development. I don't watch this franchise for NCC-90210 storylines.
And I'm also a raging hypocrite because if anything happens to Saru and T'Rina, I will be even grumpier! Same with Culber and Stamets.
I may have a soft spot for warm, lived in, tender relationships and minimal patience for stories about relationship drama among the stars.
Also, I do appreciate that at least in the first episode, the Burnham - Book "ship" feels less overwrought. The awkwardness between them reads as a more mature, more nuanced incarnation of the relationship. Even when they inevitably patch things up, I really hope its less showy and melodramatic, and more cozy.
Grumpiness aside, I have to compliment the cast, writers, and crew enormously. This show has matured so impressively in the sense that the cast are able to find the characters in a natural and seamless way. The writers are putting better dialogue in their mouths even if I don't always necessarily want to see the specific storylines playing out.
Its a testament to the idea that art is a thing you practice and the human beings involved in producing this stuff need time and space to get it right. By legacy TV standards, Discovery is only just starting the equivalent of its third season. We used to talk about the two season rule for legacy Trek. The idea that it really only got good, not merely watchable if you have a good tolerance for cheese, but actually good in the third season.
The action sequences, mostly, were really good too. Well composed, clear and easy to follow while having a decent amount of drama and uncertainty to them.
The chase sequence really managed to capture the power and physics of having starships operating inside the atmosphere of a planet and what they can do. Although I'm sure the tech fans will froth at a number of obvious inconsistencies in scaling, at least we actually see some interesting consequences of ships interacting with planets.
Additionally it also accidentally portrays one of the world building problems with the version of the Star Wars universe depicted by the Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith Incredible Cross Sections books. Yes, I'm one of those kinds of fans who has argued both sides of that particular controversy. I've always found Dr. Saxton's attempts to quantify just what is going on and then contrive explanations for how its possible fascinating, but ultimately it presents serious world building problems. Like the idea that one scoundrel with one relatively diminutive ship, like the Falcon or Slave I, could utterly wreck a populated area in seconds causing thousands, if not tens of thousands of casualties if they're having a bad day. Such are the elemental forces and energy levels at the disposal of even common riff raff in Dr. Saxton's depiction of Star Wars.
In Discovery, we see what happens when a couple of scoundrels have their back up against a wall, and it comes within a hair's breadth of tragedy.
BIG SPOILERS
The callback to the Progenitors is also really interesting. I'm curious as to what the MacGuffin will ultimately be, because if you scrutinize the various technologies of the week in Trek, most of the mature space faring peoples already seemed to have the capacity to do what the Progenitors could do: seed a planet with life and then guide that life across billions of years of evolution to a desirable endpoint. The main thing that is missing is the ability to ensure, in the style of Expanse's Protomolecule Builders, that your project can babysit itself without direct intervention for all that time.
Also kudos to Discovery for its cutesy storytelling device of grabbing a background character and turning them into someone of great significance. This is something that can be overdone, see also: Star Wars, especially the Legends continuity; but I have a soft spot for lore nerds.
Also speaking of Lore, I'm a little curious as to whether this is the last we'll hear of Fred. Synth "death" is kind of an ambiguous thing. They were able to harvest usable data from him, but perhaps there's a meaningful difference between the systems responsible for consciousness and memory storage? Perhaps the ocular memory is a sort of buffer in which information is triaged, analyzed, and then either committed to long term memory or deleted.
#Star Trek#spoilers#Star Trek Discovery#Discovery s5#Discovery s5e1#michael burnham#Saru#Curtis Saxton#Star Wars Incredible Cross Sections#t'rina#discovery spoilers
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i'll be 23 in a week.
i have been writing for fun, mainly in the realm of fanfic, since I was 13.
in some ways, my work now is unrecognizable from my work 10 years ago. i write for different fandoms. i write from a different perspective. i write in a different tense. my word choice, my flow, my dialogue, my pacing, my structure has made leaps upon leaps upon leaps and bounds.
but my favorite genre is still hurt/comfort. i still write about queer friendship and queer love. i still find myself by looking through the eyes of the characters i love. i still use writing to tell myself things i want to believe; it's okay to ask for help, need isn't weakness, you don't have to do everything on your own, you shouldn't do everything on your own. go to therapy. touch grass. make a meal. love each other.
at one point, i took an almost three-year complete hiatus from writing at all because the joy was gone, the inspiration was gone, and i thought it would never come back. i published my first work when i was 14. i published my most recent work yesterday. it's hard for me to believe both of them were written by the same person.
for years, i looked at that first fic and cringed. i wanted, sometimes desperately, to take it down and hide my shame from the world. it's not my best work now. but at the time, it was. at the time, it was incredibly brave of the old me just to put themself out there like that. at the time, it was the most important thing i could have done for my future writing self.
i understand the benefits of writing from third-person now because i wrote hundreds of thousands of words in first-person first. i understand the balance between using said, using other dialogue tags, and using nothing at all because i used to use a dialogue tag for every single thing said by anyone. i understand how to leave things unsaid and trust my reader because the old me never, ever did that. i could not have become the writer i am without that person. if that person hadn't decided that where they were was a good enough place to start, the fic i consider one of my biggest life accomplishments never would've been written and i never would've made the amazing community connections i did through it.
so much of the energy in fandom spaces is that there's no greater shame than writing 'cringe', and that if you ever wrote cringe, you need to erase any trace of it from the Internet. but i guarantee someone out there is happier because you wrote that fic, even if that person is just the old you. even if you aren't that person anymore. even if you don't like that person anymore. it's still something i grapple with most days. i try really hard not to look back at that fic and cringe. i don't always succeed.
but i left that fic published (albeit under a different name than i use now) for 14-year-old me. because I'm not ashamed of them. I'm proud of the writer i am now. I'm grateful that the person i used to be helped me get there.
write the fic. make the art. put it out there. publish it bad, post it messy, start and never finish because the joy goes somewhere else. you can't get anywhere if you don't start somewhere. you can't get where you want to be if you don't start where you are. someone out there wants to see what you have to say. wants to see what you can do. do it for them. but more importantly, do it for you.
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20 questions for fic writers
tagged by @catknives
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
83... aw it looks like a face!
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
857,649!
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Currently, Stranger Things. Previously: The Magnus Archives, IT: Chapter 2, The Umbrella Academy, Fantastic Beasts, Star Wars, EDM RPF, Marvel Comics, and Trigun.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
from most to fifth most: If you ever need a helping hand, In a City, Reconstructed, There's nothing wrong with me (loving you), Holding hands in space, Just send for me (oh baby!)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I try to!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do not always succeed.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Hmmmm... My Kylo character study? I mean it is called This pain will not make you stronger lol
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I think it's Have Your Heart In My Mouth because they're like in love and getting mated/married!!!!! It's just goofy fun. But I write a lot of happy endings, I swear.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Yeah lol and I love it come fight me in the comments I WILL engage
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yeah pretty much the majority of my fics are rated E
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Sorry, I do not!
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yeesh, I have. Mostly people reposting stuff, especially RPF stuff.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes, I have!! In a City, Reconstructed is translated into Russian.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I am trying to figure out how to do that so I can post the skull rock free use thread I made with @grandmastattoo. But I will be honest I do not know how to do it.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
I........ I don't know... this is too hard a choice
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
If you think you're getting more of the fantabi stripper au I have terrible news: I know how it goes and I'm never going to finish it.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I am very funny :) and I write good dialogue
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
On god, I should have an editor. I think I'm a better self-editor than I am. But no one can stop me except me and I am so bad at that.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Actually one time I wrote a fic (NOT ON AO3) with Marty that's partly in French and it rules. I love multilingualism.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Harry Potter (Sirius/Remus)
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
I think it's In a City, Reconstructed or With Teeth. But maybe someday it'll be Helping hand.
I need to tag people but uhhhhhhhhhhh UHHHHHHHHHHHH idek please do this and tag me if you want
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"Imagine that. People who write for TV showing their passion for TV like any other fan hahaha :P My fics are nothing to be intimidated by, so at least there's that."
Long-form fiction is a completely different way of thinking about story from dialogue and character/camera cues. There's all that exposition and introspection, so fandom writers are way ahead of us :) Plus, there are other occupational hazards: I keep thinking, "We'll have to hire a snake handler/stunt specialist/intimacy coordinator," or "Do I really want to shoot where there are centipedes and scorpions?" and "What are the tax incentives of [insert state]?" Production costs and logistics are always at the back of my mind when I write.
MT doesn't want me to read her fic, but I did comment on one of her scenes, so my thoughts on that should be somewhere further back on the blog. I've read one story, which was beautifully evocative (and I'd love to see how that writer's skill set would translate to scriptwriting). There's definitely talent in the fandom regardless of what your day job entails :D
"Writers with a lot more power like LaToya or SF, I don't know. I'd have to read something of theirs to find out :P"
I just grope around in the dark until something takes shape :P I'm a decent plotter and that's pretty much all there is to my supposed superpower. (I need to visualize that one scene in my mind, which will set the tone for the project, before I can break a plot.) Finding time for extracurricular writing is the problem, but you could've already read something of mine and not noticed because it was unremarkable. Online comments on my work tend to run the full spectrum—you can't have an ego in this business or it'll be a one giant bruise lol
[SF]
Makes sense you'd have to remember to take your production hat off. Occasionally I'll find myself wondering if something I write is going to clear, but for the most part it's the exposition, introspection, and oh god sensory detail I struggle with. While I do like some extra emotional language in my scripts if possible, I'm used to having to be concise, letting the scenes speak for themselves, and relying on others to help me fill in the details. I get overwhelmed at the prospect of having an unlimited amount of space to describe where someone is, what they're thinking, what they're hearing, tasting, smelling, etc. So yes, lots of respect for the amazing fic writers out there who have all of that down. I will probably stick to writing scenes from now on (you're allowed to read those lol). Unless I get an idea in my head that I can't fight no matter how hard I try. We all know how that goes.
Hear you on the time constraints for sure. It's also possible we've read something of yours, thought it was spectacular, and just don't know to connect it to you. I completely agree being a professional writer doesn't make someone more qualified to contribute to fandom. But I also like to think that most women don't get to your position without having a modicum of talent that can still translate to different mediums. Which is just to say, I'm confident there's room at the table for you among the greats. Including but not limited to @silversundown2 @waynedunlaptheorgandonor @spanishrose2002 @gunmetal-ring @lighteneverything @rubberchickeny, @sienna27, fairiesmasquerade (I still need to check out sienna's and fairies' work, but I take everyone's word for it), and if she doesn't mind, I'd also like to give a special shoutout to TheWrotetoFreedom on 9L. Friends, if you haven't read her stories, please do, especially if you're looking to fill the spinoff void. By the end, you'll be dying for more just like I am 0.o
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🦅 and 🤗 for the fic asks?
🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?
I usually have a sort of jot-note thing figured out but it often includes dialogue, specific descriptions and actions, etc, as much as plot stuff. Even when I'm pantsing something, if it starts getting long I'm gonna inevitably have THOUGHTS which is unfortunate because I have no MEMORY so the outline/notes are kinda an absolute necessity. When I write without I'm topping out at like, 1K, and frowning very hard while doing it hahaha
🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?
Well, I'm new to fanfic writing myself - I finished my first fic in mid-October. So I can relate to the getting started part, but can't say if it's good advice or not lmao. What's really helped get my feet under me more so far is:
Read widely across genres - for me, the sound of language is so inspiring. Fuck with poetry. Crack some sci-fi. Listen to Beowulf being read. You will also be exposed to SO many cool craft-based bits and bobs - structures, mechanisms for suspense, character development, etc.
Be patient with your ideas* - I wait as long as possible before writing something because I want the idea to be as large and hungry and champing-at-the-bit as possible before I start making it real. It's also so much easier to make changes when you don't have stuff written already, and it feels better to stop and let things percolate when you're not already 3000 words deep (although that happens and it's okay too). The more I know an idea and what I want to do - even if it surprises me later - the more confident I feel during the process and frankly us brand new fic writers need every gram of it we can get!
Be patient with your writing too - you might be slow as fuck, dude. Slow as FUCK. That's okay. You'll speed up but only if you keep chipping away and engaging in the act of writing. I know. Brutal.
Follow your gut and your happiness! Do the weird stuff you've never seen. Do the self-indulgent stuff you've seen a thousand times before. Trust yourself. Honour your tastes and preferences above all else. Which leads to:
This might be a mildly hot take but you don't need fandom spaces or other fanfic to write, and you're more likely to develop a singular and interesting voice if you let your writing develop outside of them and be influenced by other sources too. It's appealing, when new to something, to try and embody Correct Form and Conventions. But I think you gotta know what you want from your story more than you know what people will expect from it. I would challenge you, no matter what you're writing, to try and put out of your head what fic is 'supposed' to look like or sound like - honestly, you've probably read enough that it will inform you regardless even if you're not trying consciously to embody it. So let go of the product and get neck-deep in the process. Get weird! Get sexy! Chase that idea down like the feral fucker you are! And fucken send it!!!
*for the research-inclined I will pointedly note you also have to know when it's time to START writing - this isn't a paper that needs cited sources (unless it is, then please send it to me, I'd like to read it) - it's a story WITH and BUILT UPON information. Push yourself out of the nest when you sense you're dawdling and give 'er. You can always fill in bits later! I promise!!
Lastly - you are NEVER TOO OLD / TOO LATE / TOO ______ to start writing. Never ever, I swear it. If you're thinking about it, do it. Don't wait for permission or encouragement or a sign from above. There's at least one story inside of you. And I want to read it!
(fanfic writer emoji ask)
#asks#emoji ask game#writing advice#which i am hilariously unqualified to give as a fanfic writer of *checks notes* less than four months#but will happily give nonetheless#the sandman#my writing#writing meta
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Since you said you don't like Aponia disregarding consent (I fully agree, irked me to hell and back just like the writers intended I would say), what do you think about the whole Elysia and Mei dynamic? Originally, I liked Elysia quite a lot but the whole "forced horn touch" thing (it was dubious consent given how Mei only agreed because she had to) and how she went on telling everyone about it even if Mei was visibly uncomfortable really made me uneasy to the point where I now look at Elysia more negatively. I get she is flirticious and all but Mei tried to establish boundaries the entire time and then you have Ely literally forcing her to grant her that weird wish of hers.
oh god I could write whole essays about how I despise elysia and especially that horn scene
hard to believe but I tolerate otto more than her. the way she talks and generally interacts with people, especially mei, irks me to the very core. every time I play elysian realm I pray she doesn't appear and if she does I immediately skip the dialogue no matter how interesting it could be. she's double dead right now but I would take any opportunity to make her more dead
"but she doesn't mean harm!" okay. cool that you haven't got to experience such clingy (in annoying way) people or whatever this can be called in real life. due to experience with my own family I cannot handle anyone who thinks everything they say or do is just a harmless joke. fuck you grandma
I hate everything that happens in the dialogue with horn touching and the aftermath of it in next dialogues. people turning mei's groan into moaning and what not, while it clearly sounds like she's holding herself back from murdering that pink shit on sight because she has to agree on whatever she wants to get to the deep end. then raven joking about the whole thing in front of these two, asking if her claws would be enough for elysia to have fun touching as well. mei had to ask her twice not to bring it up, second time with more annoyed/harsher tone so raven would stop coming up with excuses. what pissed me off more is that mei ended up not reaching the deep end despite all those personal space sacrifices, even though it wasn't elysia's fault directly since it was kosma who didn't let them pass
how am I even supposed to react to elysia boasting to everyone about touching mei's horns? hey, you forced someone to agree on touching a part of their body they have always been refusing to let people touch due to normal human feeling of not wanting to be touched by strangers! bravo! people should be glad I'm not mihoyo's plot writer at this point
... but do you know what other dialogue could gain a second place or even share the first place of my most hated elysia dialogues? I can't recall it fully and I don't want to look for it, but basically there elysia was treating her beauty and ideal appearance as some sort of disadvantage. fucked up metabolism in a way of not gaining weight... really? this is seen as a flaw? this is shit you can hear only from people who tick all the boxes of society's beauty standards. no need to agree with this one, it's a personal feeling because of my body
remember that I don't aim my hate towards people liking elysia and neither I'd like to persuade them she's not worth liking. I'm not a little shit to cancel people over that, I just despise the character itself
#this is elysia hate zone#ah um. maybe i should add some tags so people can hide this post for themselves#long post#honkai impact
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