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rollercoasterwords · 9 months

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hi! thank you for the kind words, i'm happy you're enjoying the fic. but i also want to use this message as an opportunity to talk about something/set a boundary that i haven't really known how to discuss, and i've blocked out your name because even though i'm not angry or upset with you, i want to make sure i'm not sending any hate back your way.

i know that this message is well-intentioned, and i know you likely think it's nothing but a compliment to ask me to write more--after all, you're only asking me to write more because you enjoy the story so much! shouldn't that be a nice thing for me to hear?

and like. i think that's why this is difficult for me to talk about. i don't want to come across as ungrateful or overly sensitive or like i don't appreciate the compliments, because i do. but at the same time, hearing someone say, "please write more of this fic for me, i love your writing so much!" is still hearing someone say "please write more of this fic for me!" like. 300,000 words is incredibly long. most novels are between 70k-100k words. a 300k word book usually takes years to write--years, and hundreds of hours of labor. maybe you chose that number randomly, or you're exaggerating for emphasis; but no matter how nicely you're phrasing it or how facetious you're being, ultimately this sort of message still puts pressure on me to produce a massive amount of writing in a short period of time. and even if you meant it as a compliment, it doesn't feel nice to me. being pressured to churn out hundreds of thousands of words makes me feel as though i'm being seen as a content-creation machine for the entertainment of others, and i don't like that. writing is a labor of love for me, but it is still labor--hours of time and effort that i'm putting into these works which i share for free, with no expectations of anything in return except maybe a few kind words from those who feel like reaching out. when i get messages or comments like this pushing me to write more, to write faster, it makes me feel as though my time and labor are not respected at all; as if there's absolutely no consideration for the amount of effort it takes to write the stories. which, again, makes me feel like i'm being viewed as some sort of fic-writing machine that can just pump out hundreds of thousands of words on demand for others' entertainment.

and none of this is helped by the tongue-in-cheek comment about how you're "suffering" waiting for updates. again, i understand that this was well-intended and maybe even a playful exaggeration that's supposed to be complimentary. but there are ways to tell me you enjoy my writing and eagerly wait for updates without telling me how much you dislike waiting between chapters. posting once a week is already a difficult schedule for me to maintain, and it's entirely possible that i'll need to take another break in the future or skip a week or something. i've been very clear about the fact that my update schedule is subject to change since i started writing the fic; that's just part of reading a wip. but when i get messages or comments like these with people telling me how they don't like waiting for updates, or comments directly asking me to post more than once a week, or--back when i did take a break--comments begging me not to take a break, it all adds together and builds up and creates this pressure to write more, write faster, post the new ch now now now. if you were the only person making this type of comment, it probably wouldn't bother me and i'd just respond and go "thanks lol" and move on. but the problem is that you aren't the only one--since more people have started reading the fic, i've consistently been getting comments like these, where the backhanded pressure to write more or write faster is couched in compliments. it's just so hard to wait for updates because i love your writing so much! i just want you to write more and post now and write faster because i love your writing so much! i know it's all well-intended, but none of it makes me feel good. it just makes me feel a mounting pressure to produce produce produce.

i feel like there are so many conversations happening in this fandom about how we need to treat writers better, where people go "the fandom is so shitty" and everyone goes "yeah!" but no one ever thinks they're part of the problem. and i think it's because everyone thinks the problem is like...really blatantly rude and entitled messages. and like, i get those too--people telling me they don't like a certain characterization and asking me to rewrite the fic; people repeatedly demanding that i write a certain fic for them; people just outright shitting on things i've written because they don't like it and for some reason think i want to know that. but none of that is super common. what is super common is the steady stream of comments and messages like this one, where they are so well-intended and don't see anything wrong with what they're saying because they think they're giving me a compliment. but all these "compliments" build up and create this pressure that hangs over my head to be constantly producing and writing, which is ultimately what leads to burnout and also makes me feel like i'm not being seen as a person so much as a machine.

so like. idk. i'm not gonna try to speak for every writer in the fandom; maybe there are people out there who do appreciate this kind of message, who feel like it motivates them to write. but for me, i want to make it clear: i really don't appreciate being asked to write more or write faster or to write a certain trope/ship/etc; i am not a waiter taking your order at a restaurant. writing fic is not a service i'm providing for you that you pay me for in comments or kudos or messages or any sort of attention, because i am not writing for that attention in the first place. so when it comes to interacting with me, i'd ask that you reevaluate the way you give compliments and think about what sort of pressure you're putting on me, regardless of how well-intentioned your message is. again, no hard feelings towards you--like i said, this message probably wouldn't even register as pressuring to me if not for the fact that i get so many little comments like it, all from equally well-intentioned people who think they're just giving a compliment, all of which builds up together.

anyway. all that being said. to answer your question: the fic will likely be four parts, not three as i originally intended. it will probably end up somewhere between 100-200k words based on the fact that we're already at 80k and i've only just started part iii, but i am not going to put pressure on myself to write a certain amount of words or hit a certain length. i'm just going to write what i want to write when i want to write, and share it as i want to share it. i'm happy to have you along if you want to be here, but if the cliffhangers or waiting for updates becomes too unenjoyable for you then there's no pressure for you to stay, yknow? no hard feelings on my end either way :•)

#have been talking w a few friends abt this recently and just. felt like it was getting to a point where i need 2 set a boundary lol #like again don't want to come across as ungrateful bc i DO appreciate the kind words and i love talking abt my writing w people #but those kind words and conversation are not the reason i write in the first place. i write in the first place purely for the fun + joy #of writing a story that i want to read #so as much as i appreciate the compliments etc #people being nice to me about my writing does not then entitle those people to make requests or demands about the way i write #yknow?#feel like its hard to phrase this without sounding cunty lol but like. it is simply the truth #anyway. like i said no hard feelings towards the person who sent this message truly #i just picked this as an opportunity to respond to allll the comments + messages like it #might put a note at the end of the next ch or something bc this type of thing happens in the comments moreso than tumblr messages #which is part of why i usually just ignore and move on but. it builds up guys #and it's only been increasing so. feel like i need to be firm abt setting expectations etc #ask #wfrau #ranting and raving

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aroaessidhe · 1 year

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2023 reads // twitter thread

The Art of Prophecy

Wuxia inspired epic fantasy

about a spoiled prophesied chosen one who’s never been in a real battle

the greatest war artist of her generation takes things into her own hands and decides to train him, but things go wrong and they both have to go on the run

martial arts, bounty hunters & assassins, some steampunk vibes, mentor relationships

no romance!

this is so fun and funny I loved it. the MCs three awesome baddass women and one pathetic teen boy and i love them all

#The Art of Prophecy #wesley chu #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #fav #this is so great i loved it so much!!!#also natalie naudus audio narrator!#i wrote 'women!!!' like 3 times in my notes zkjdgfd #no romance books #**i do feel like there might be a little in book 2? will probably be pretty minor side things tho #one of the MCs is a chaotic lesbian(?) assassin. im pretty sure the boy is gay? some kind of queer #also i love the cover so much shoutout to Tran Nguyen and designer Cassie Gonzales #also this had been on my periphery for ages but i saw someone say 'older lady training teen boy' and came running #--then i also saw a review that said they spend a significant part of the book separated; which was probably good to know going in (they do)#but i think they will be together more in the next book. their dynamic is great #she accidentally adopts a different young person in the meantime anyway LMAO

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gentaroukisaragi · 8 months

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Ultraman Blazar's Salutations From Episodes 1-5 (ft. Bazanga, Leviera, and a sleeping Dorgo)

Episode 1 as well as the rest of the series can be found on youtube for free with eng subtitles and an eng audio track if that interests you

[Video description: Ultraman Blazar, a colossal grey humanoid alien with red and blue markings on his body, and blue markings on his face, performs his signature salutation in several different places and times. This salutation consists of raising his arms up to the sky in a circular motion, and bringing his knee up before stepping into a lunge and scooping his arms down and upward.

From episode 1, in a city at night, the camera watches from below, as Blazar performs his salutation and his markings flash red and blue. The shot cuts to a wider one, showing off the buildings and Blazar's opponent, Bazanga, a prawn-like Kaiju. After his salute, Blazar moves his hands into a guarded, fighting stance.

From Episode 2: Blazar stands against the bright blue day sky in a small fishing village, with much shorter buildings. He faces the camera directly as he does his salutation, and the camera zooms in on him as he does it and his markings flash red and blue once more.

From Episode 3: Blazar is framed in a head and shoulder shot and smothered in smoke as his colour time, a big round spot on his chest that is normally blue, flashes red. Once more he faces the camera as he does his salutation, before flying off, kicking up dirt in his takeoff.

From episode 4: The camera pans over a cityscape, with a highway at the front of the scene. Once more it is night time and Blazar faces off against a monster among many many buildings. The monster is Leviera, a sea-angel themed kaiju whose face is open to reveal flashing yellow lights as Blazar does his salutation from the side. Leviera is aggressively ready to go.

From episode 5: Blazar stands behind the sleeping kaiju, Dorgo, who looks mostly like a hill of dirt in this shot. He performs his salutation, and immediately begins to push the sleeping Kaiju back to its proper resting place. The shot switches to one of Blazar from behind, as he continues to push Dorgo back into place, among the green hills and mountains of the Japanese countryside. With a thump, Dorgo returns to his resting spot, and Blazar turns to face the camera as he jumps up into the air to fly away.

End video description.]

#captain eyebrows #fuck it. into the tag #Ultraman Blazar #this is rough but im gonna try to make it better #i want to have the series' worth by the time its over #ep 3 is his first post fight salutation. the special if it has one doesnt count bc its a recap. ep 6 doesnt have one (presumably bc its #Earth Garon but i still feel cheated out of one) ep 7 doesnt have one which makes sense bc 2 parter but still. i want these.#ep 8 is where the next part will begin if i have one of these for the next section. i might just wait until the series ends #depends on how i feel/when i remember ya know #okay now its time to whine #Blazar! Do more salutations!#that one article i reblogged says this act might be in reference to praying to a higher power for a good hunt #but ive been comparing it mentally to like. bowing before a fight with an opponent you know. a sign of respect a sign of a fight.#hell the fact that i call it a salutation is because it reminds of the yoga move sun salutation which isnt a fighting thing but is a #salutation. and blazars thing is about communication/trying to communicate #ah well. as usual hope i get more info on blazar asap #i love him so much <3

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araneitela · 7 days

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Quick interruption: This may (somehow, still?) be a hot take, but I swear to all that is unholy and insane, I've been sitting on this salt about the TB and Kafka since like May of last year. This isn't going to be a long meta at all, but I do want to make something abundantly clear on this blog.

I know that people say the 'mommy' thing jokingly because they have the hots for her (listen, I understand the motivation, I just firmly hate the term), but I know some people actively still believe that Kafka is somehow related to the TB even if her story quest has since entirely debunked that claim and proved the opposite. Let me just, share this for a second:

(source) Can we put this to rest now, pretty please? I'm too old and too tired for this, guys.

#Before I post the reminder however #[ i also need to note that i think if any mother figure speaks to a child the way that she does to caelus and/or stelle-- ]#[ then i do think that there's something a little... odd going on there. it has many interesting “undertones” when she talks to them. ]#[ and looking at that dynamic with a familial lens has me feeling a little.. weird. ]#[ i just. i don't want to get weird surprises here! but also i didn't realize until i had to inform like a handful of people recently... ]#[ that this is /genuinely/ not a thing; guys? ]#[ the 'part of my dna' leak of forever ago was used for the /lie/ in her story quest. it is LITERALLY the lie. ]#[ and yes it has been thoroughly confirmed. i even was one of the people who double checked this. because... ]#[ you could do the '2+2' option in the second half that /verifies/ the first answer as the real answer. and i did that for this. ]#[ and others apparently have as well. people /wanted/ this confirmed or the opposite. and it's since been confirmed to have been a lie. ]#[ so they're not connected in any capacity through 'dna' or anything. ]#[ i just-- yes. i just wanted this out there. ]#[ for those who might not know. ]

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indigodawns · 20 days

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#been sitting here for 1.5 hours now trying to decide if i should go see my friend as promised #or not. basically i texted earlier like heyy sorry can we do tomorrow im all over the place (mentally extra unstable*) i don't wanna #make you deal with that #but she said she might not be able to do tomorrow and she's told me she hates when ppl cancel bc so many ppl have been #cancelling on her and yk. feels bad. so i really should go but im also just. ???#idk what it was but today is just so not it ive been crying a bunch and barely working and i v much needed #my noise cancelling headphones on the train and then i just kept them on for 1 #and then i just kept them on when i got home and ive just been on my bed scrolling and trying to decide dhsjsjdjd #yes i was supposed to work 8 hours today 💀💀💀#so that's the other part like if i go see my friend i know tomorrow will probably be rougher and i also need to work then yk #ugh anyways i should go we can just chill im sure #* headphone context for myself bc im just like 🤨🤨 am i just kinda sad and tired today or do i really need to rest #anyways. Thoughts? dhsjjdjdjd #other context is that my friend rly isn't doing good at all and i haven't seen her in a week and it's been #even longer since we could talk 1 on 1 #like 2 weeks rip #maybe i just need food tbh ive mostly had sugary stuff today rip

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morsartis · 1 year

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Rodimus x Professional!Reader Pt. 1

The first part is from Reader's POV and the second will be from Rodimus' POV.

Parts:

Part 2- https://www.tumblr.com/morsartis/712534482204377088/rodimus-x-professionalreader-pt-2?source=share

Part 3- https://www.tumblr.com/morsartis/712534804211662848/rodimus-x-professionalreader-pt-3?source=share

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Hot water beat down on your back as you rested your head on the shower wall. Everything ached. From your toes to your scalp you felt like one massive bruise. It wasn’t uncommon for you to get back to your quarters feeling drained and tired. Ever since the Lost Light had taken on human crew members your hands had been full, especially following your commander's death. A day that still weighed something fierce on your heart. You’d had to step up- despite the fact that you hadn’t been next in line to lead at all. There had been too much panic, too much grief, and you had done what you had always done in the face of terrible personal tragedy and chaos. You’d buckled down and taken over. Somehow that had led to you being promoted as the human liaison to the captain of the Lost Light. It was an honor certainly but it was something you struggled with. All that responsibility on your shoulders, Commander Jameson had grown livid when the promotion had passed over him and went to you instead. His contempt and judgment was yet another thing that weighed you down. He made it clear that he had little to no respect for you or your new position. It had led to endless fights over the tiniest things that shouldn’t have been fights in the first place.

Sighing heavily you blinked past the water running down your face. The need for actual running water on the Lost Light had been Commander Hennis’ first petition when you’d come aboard and after her death it had only been right for you to continue that petition. You were grateful for it. Slicking your hair back you took another moment to simply breathe. One deep breath in and then the slow exhale. Shutting off the spray you blindly reached for your towel. Wrapping the soft fluffy thing around yourself you relished its warmth as you stepped out of the tub and into the slightly cooler room. You cursed when you realized you’d left your sleep clothes on your bed. Stepping into the main portion of your room you froze, the blood draining from your face so quickly you almost felt light headed. Clutching the towel tightly to yourself you straightened up immediately. Shit, you were way too underdressed, your hair was still wet and tangled, you were wearing a towel.

“Captain!” You resisted the urge to salute if only because you feared losing your towel. Rodimus froze, optics wide as he glanced down at you. Jesus, you could die of mortification.

“I-,” His voicebox made an odd sound you could only describe as a radio dial, “I didn’t realize you were here.”

“I thought to get an early night, Sir.” Oh you just wanted to curl into a ball and die. This was so unprofessional. God, you even planned your own pajamas to be professional in case of an emergency. Why did he have to walk in now? Why did you forget your clothes on your bed? You glanced at your folded clothes and felt a new mortification rising when you realized you’d done like you usually did and placed your underwear on top. Your very nice, lacey, underwear that you rarely got the chance to wear and only decided to wear tonight to make yourself feel nice. As a secret little pick-me-up that only you would know about. The red stood out starkly against your grey sweats and space program t-shirt, the clothes far too professional to even consider what you might be wearing underneath. Even the sports bra you’d chosen was cute with its little lacey front and tiny decorative bow. As if sensing your mortification you could only observe in horror as Rodimus followed your gaze to the clothes you’d plainly laid out. If it were even possible it was as if he froze and locked up more than previously.

Was- was he blushing?!

Your face was officially on fire you were simply going to kill yourself. Anything to escape the mortification. Your co-captain, your liaison partner, knew what you were going to wear to bed and he’d been around human culture long enough to understand exactly why you might have been embarrassed. Grasping at straws like it was all you could do, you tried to regain control of the situation.

“Ahem,” You cleared your throat drawing his attention back to you, “Was there a particular reason you were coming into my quarters Captain?”

Rodimus straightened up quickly his grip on his holopad tightening.

“Ah- yes. There was- well… Ahem. To be honest-,” He was stammering, god you were never going to live down the embarrassment, “I wanted your opinion on a transfer I’ve been considering.”

“A transfer?”

“Yes. One of the humans here.”

That wiped the embarrassment straight from your system. Technically Rodimus could transfer whoever he wished at any point so long as Megatron signed off on said transfer. It had been an unspoken rule since Commander Hennis’ and since your own tenure that all human transfers were to be decided by the human liaison. For Rodimus to even consider transferring a human without giving the full reigns to you must have been serious.

“May I ask the reason for transfer?”

“Insubordination.” The way he said it left little room to question. His voice was grave and serious in a way you rarely heard from your usually compassionate companion. Clearly this was not a decision he had made lightly.

“And the crewmember?” You asked after a moment when it became clear he was not going to elaborate.

“Commander Jameson.”

“What?” You asked the question slipping out before you could help it. To say you were shocked was an understatement. You had thought that Commander Jameson had been wise enough to keep his displeasure and insubordination pointed towards you and you only.

“I think it would be best for both the crew and for Commander Jameson himself if he were placed with a different vessel.”

“My apologies then Captain, I had thought that Commander Jameson had merely been targeting me due to the promotional passover that occurred following Commander Hennis’ passing. I hadn’t a clue that he’d been lashing out towards other higher-ups. Please allow me to talk to him and discuss these matters, I shall ensure he keeps his issues with the chain of command solely with me.”

“That’s the problem!” Rodimus shouted, waving his arm through the air. You jumped. “He shouldn’t be treating you that way in the first place! You received the promotion because you earned it. Your crew would have been killed if you hadn’t made the calls you did and kept a level head. While Commander Jameson was too busy trying to prove himself you were putting in the actual work. You brought your crew together, you led them into action, you pulled them through that dark time. Not him! I am tired of hearing his baseless complaints about your leadership. You’ve gone above and beyond what was expected of you for the sake of your human crew and your cybertronian companions!”

You could feel the flush traveling from your cheeks all the way to your shoulders the flattery soothing a sore spot you had been nursing for a while now. But still, despite Jameson’s clear dislike of you, you had a duty to him as his superior.

“I understand that Rodimus and I thank you for your conviction of my skills,” You replied soothingly, adjusting your hold on your towel, “However, I have a duty to my crew. Commander Jameson’s grievances are with me and me alone. Outside of that he has followed all his orders from other officers to a perfect T. Unless there are incidents I haven’t been informed of..?” You trailed off waiting for a reply.

“... No. He’s followed orders from other crew members well enough.” Rodimus admitted begrudgingly. You offered him a sincerely sympathetic smile.

“Then I owe him the chance to discuss options with me first before the call is made for him. If he wishes to transfer then I will be happy to have him transferred, but if he wishes to stay then that decision should be respected as well.”

That was clearly not what he wanted to hear. Rodimus’ expression turned stony, every bit the captain he had to be instead of the mech you had gotten to know.

“Please let him know that if he fails to follow your direct orders again he will be transferred regardless.” His voice was cold, a sort of anger that sent chills down your spine. You’d never heard anything like it. From Megatron you might have been able to keep the surprise off your face but from Rodimus? The change was too intense not to show your shock. “I’ve transferred the documents to you for review. Good night.”

Just like that he was gone leaving you standing there shivering from the cold in your towel wondering what had gotten into the normally sunny optimistic mech. Swallowing nervously you shuffled towards your pajamas and got dressed. Everything would have to wait until the morning but already anxiety was beginning to set in. What would you do about this? What could be done to fix it? If you didn’t know him so well by now you would have thought Rodimus was angry with you, but you knew that despite what had happened his anger was directed towards Jameson. With a deep breath you sat on your bed and tried to relax. You’d get this sorted out just like you always did. It would be fine. And then you could talk with Rodimus about why it had upset him the way it did.

#rodimus x reader #mtmte rodimus #transformers #this is a two part fic #But I'm gonna have to wait til tomorrow to post the part 2 #sorry guys #reader insert #Honestly I could be persuaded into making this a series if someone wants #but we'll see how well this part and the second part go lol #First transformers fic #I hope people enjoy it as much as I did #honestly I love transformers and should write more for them #there are so few fics it seems like #we should fix that lol #feel free to request stuff from me!#It takes me a while but I do work on them #No fancy title for this one sorry guys that might change if anyone has ideas

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