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#i might actually kill myself
wawataka · 7 months
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wait wait wait. if sho is 12 for a majority of the anime, would he be a grade below ritsu? would he not even be in middle school yet?
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sampilled · 2 months
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dress i ordered for my uncles wedding didnt fit, might kill myself
#tw ed#<to be safe ig. vent in tags#ohhhhhhhhhhhhh#im so upset about this i could actually cryyyyyyyyy#i have ruined my body#and now i just have to fix it on my own as well#trying to improve my relationship with food and get better from BED#at home#with only youtube videos and tiktok dieticians to help#i might actually kill myself#ive been trying so hard to be positive about this but idk if i can keep it up :|#i tried to talk to MORE THAN ONE mental health professional about it but they all shut me down cuz they were clearly uncomfortable with it#which... whatever im a big girl but why become a therapist if you cant deal with such a common issue WHATEVER#i am eating healthier and im more active than ive been since i was like 13 and its showing#just very slowly#which is good cuz fast weight loss doesnt last and im trying to like meaningfully change and stuff#butttttttttttttt iam going to be fat for the next 2 years at least#and thats with no setbacks and it just feels like :( like sad face emoji#i am going to be fat at my uncles wedding that i DONT want to go to i dont have anyone to bring as my plus one#and i hateeeeee my cousins and im DEPRESSED#but i dont wanna take antidepressants and i WONT#and i feel sick and anxious all the time and ive lost 40lbs but im still FATTTTT#because i fucked myself#i literally used to eat til i threw up#5000 calorie binges every other day and it has lowkey ruined my body fr#not jsut in looks like yea im over weight but in so many other ways too#it wrecked my confidence and im still young enough that my health is mostly fine i just know everything would#easier if i had never done it#and then tried stupid shit to UNDO it like brotherrrrrr yoyo dieting is NOT the move#starving yourself for days then binging is not the moveeeeeee
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Wow really hoping and praying for a rich boyfriend
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more memes from the ghostly Golden Guards but now they’re finale flavored
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the ghosts are Luz’s own personal hype team and I just know they went through the widest possible range of emotions. first they’re mourning that Luz died and she’s probably not gonna be a ghost with them, then they’re hollering that she’s back to life, and then they’re howling like deranged monkeys as she beats Belos to a PULP. felt more emotion in those ten minutes than they had in their entire living lives
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wispscribbles · 2 months
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When I finish my ghoap Christmas oneshot that I started way back in start December, and have been struggling with since, then it’s over for you fools 🎅
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marlenacantswim · 2 months
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hey gang, do we all agree that ten's massive ego and god complex (or rather those traits being especially prominent in his regeneration) were a direct result of what happened in Parting of the Ways?
"marlena what the fuck do you mean" okay well think about it; ninth doctor. fresh off the time war. thinks himself unlovable, unworthy of love. just did a double genocide, including against his own people. he's returning to his old ways of lallygagging around helping humans in a more-than-desperate attempt to repress his feelings and try to mimic the person he was before the war. he's so vulnerable.
enter rose tyler. to him? she's the most amazing person in the universe. he loves her, full stop. she makes him feel like maybe he's still capable of love, but does he really trust her love for him? after all, she doesn't really know him, does she?
all that comes to a head when rose tyler becomes the bad wolf. in that moment, she sees everything. everything everything. the doctor's past, and the doctor's future. every horrible thing they did and will do.
and in that moment, with all this truth streaming constantly into her brain, most amazing person in the universe rose tyler looks at him and goes "i want to save you. you are worth saving."
bro no fucking shit ten has a motherfucking god complex, jesus christ i would too!!!
now personally i think nine would have rationalized it and been relatively Normal 'bout all that noise had he survived onwards, but unfortunately he didn't, and so when the doctor's subconscious and the universe were holding hands deciding what their new little guy should be like... well, we're already making him just for her, and she loves him.
rose tyler loves me. she loved me even when she knew me.
i'm just saying, that "Bad Wolf chose to save me" to "the laws of time are mine to command" pipeline is a straight vertical drop only a few feet long.
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hedgehogcryptid · 2 years
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Probably no one cares but I need to rant about Fairy Tail now that I finally finished it. Because I feel like it gets a lot more hate than it deserves considering that almost everything it set out to do it did right. Starting from characterization and relationship dynamics. Those were fucking great. They're so fucking fleshed out, I love them.
And I've seen people complaining about Natsu and Lucy's relationship being dragged out but I feel they're missing on the fact that, first and foremost, they're partners, and no amount of romance or lack thereof can change that. Not long after meeting him Lucy jumps out of a window with no hesitation and no back up plan because she heard Natsu's voice and that meant she would be safe. That is not just a high level of trust, that is insane. And that's the entirety of their relationship. Making them romantic wouldn't change anything. It would just mean slapping a different label on it, because their relationship simply cannot be more deep and meaningful than it already is. (And this might be my aroace ass speaking, but I cannot imagine Natsu being stereotypically romantic. Even if they decided that they were, in fact, dating, I feel nothing would change in the ways they act around each other)
Also about Erza and Jellal, really. They're clearly meant to be together, they love each other. But they can't share any amount of time on the same room without it becoming awkward or dramatic because the amount of shared trauma between them is fucking astronomical. They need twenty years of therapy before they can do any significantly romantic thing and that's great. It's awesome! Just because you're in love with someone doesn't mean that being together will be easy! But that doesn't make their relationship any less meaningful or tender.
And the platonic relationships! The family ones! Makarov will risk himself and use the fairy law and Mavis tries to stop him. Tells him she has a plan that will lead to victory. Only for Makarov to say "I know this. But I need it now because the children are suffering and I won't wait a second longer" before obliterating an entire army.
Gildarts might be a womanizer but he's good with kids and he's so fucking delighted at having a child. He's so proud, and so embarrassing. I love him.
The raijinshuu are friends, and it shows, and I kinda love that the one to have a raging crush on Laxus is not Ever, the only woman among them. And the Strauss siblings have such a good relationship too. And thankfully don't fall into any of the worst sibling cliches. Levi and Gajeel spend the whole time they know eachother developing a relationship on the background, and by the time you pay atention they're sleeping together. That's hilarious. It's fantastic.
And speaking of Laxus, he goes from being a crazy fuck to incredibly cool and dependable without it feeling like he got a complete personality transplant. Partly because it soon becomes clear that most dragon slayers are, at any given time, one wrong turn away from completely losing the plot regardless of their best intentions. But also because his core values remain the same. Guild pride is the thing that drives him. When we first see him he's obsessed with making Fairy Tail strong so that it can stand proud on the face of anything. After taking a forceful journey of self discovery he learns that the guild is the sum of every individual person on it, instead of an abstract ideal of power, but the fact remains that the guild is the important thing to him. That's why he gets Natsu to defeat Hades instead of doing it himself. Because at that point he's not a part of the guild, so if he's the one to win it'd mean that Fairy Tail didn't, and that simply cannot stand.
All in all, it does such a good job of depicting good and complicated relationships with care and nuance, and makes a place for the ones that are bad. Lucy's dad has to work to get accepted back into her life, and that's amaizing. Where else have you seen a parent that doesn't get instant forgiveness after saying sorry? It's certainly not as often as I would like.
But I mostly feel like talking about the "darker" things, because it sometimes gets labeled as childish because no one dies (which is a big fucking lie. And I did not sign up for that. At all. I was fucking counting on it, and it was a LIE. And sure, Silver was technically already dead, but still) and like. I get it. Most main characters who "die" get miraculously saved. But that doesn't mean trauma in-world is any lighter.
On the seven year timeskip most people don't care about the characters that stayed behind, because they're secondary, and weaker, and not very cool. But we're told the reason the guild fell behing wasn't because it lost it's stronger members, but because they spent years upon years neglecting jobs for the sake of searching for the missing ones. And that's very fucking big.
But, again. The darker shit. They're not happy go lucky. They're not naive. They declare war no less than three times and every single one they make it clear that it is not about justice, it's about vengeance. About retribution. About "you don't fucking fuck with us". (And, lets remember, declaring war was fucking illegal).
They repeatedly say that they don't do good things because they're the good guys. They do the shit they wanted to do and it might just be that it could be considered good (and if not, they can convince people in high places to overlook it, pretty please. Because they have the friends to manage that).
Natsu has a whole argument with an outright assassin, and it never comes up that "murder is bad". It's framed more as a professional disagreement, rather than a moral argument. Natsu's main problem is that, while taking killing jobs, they call themselves a guild, the thing he asociates with family. The thing he considers sacred above all else. And since killing jobs are dirty (not unethical) they should, therefore, never touch a guild.
Before the final batle he outright says that killing kinda sucks but he will do it if he has to. And then kills around 900 people in a single second. Lucy is ready to kill. She's alone with Brandish in the bath and she's ready to shiv her in the neck. She might feel cornered, like this is the only option she has left. But in that moment she's ready and willing to see it through.
Invel is facing Gray and tells him "yes! Sucumb to the darkness so you may understand and join our purpose". Only for Gray to go "you dumb ass bitch. Do you think I care about going dark? Do you seriously believe I'm playing hero? All I care about is taking you down and if I have to be evil for that then that's how we roll".
All of that. I love that. They don't give a single fuck. Family comes first not because that's good, but because that's the way they are. They don't much care about what place their guild occupies relative to the rest of the world, or where any one member falls on a scale from good to bad. When all is said and done, all that mathers to them is the line between them and us, and they don't care to sugarcoat it.
And so many shows do that wrong. You get good guys who commit untold atrocities that go unaknowledged because they're the good guys! They can do no wrong! And I feel Fairy Tail should get more credit than it does on those grounds alone, but it does help that the character dynamics are good.
And I could write an entire (incoherent) essay on how Zeref is truly the most sympathetic villain I've ever seen. Everything about how he ended up makes perfect sense with his fucked up situation beyond a simple "I suffered so now I'm a self righteous asshole". You can see all the ways his mind had to twist itself into pretzels for him to maintain any semblance of functionality. If you're an hyperempathetic young man who suddenly and involuntarily kills anything he cares about then you really need to convince your brain that you don't care about anything, actually. Problem with that is that you're now convinced that it's true, because it doesn't work unless it's true. But the thing is that you also want to die, and you can't do it while actively wanting to die, so you need to die while thinking you don't want to. What's the best way to do that? You need someone else's help. And the best way to get someone to kill you is probably if they really really hate you. And the best way to do that is to become a supervillain, probably. Which also comes in handy for the whole "convince myself I'm truly an asshole" thing. And you end up becoming a calamity and fucking over the lives of anyone who could have loved you. But at least you can finally die.
And Mavis! The sweet looking, undeniably good person who turned out to be a ruthless strategist, quite detached from the world around her, who has a hard time weighing the value of individual human lives when there's a bigger picture to look at. But she's not an unfeeling stereotype either. She does love people, she wants them to have good things. But that doesn't change the fact that she doesn't relate to people the way others do, even if she could've lived her life without ever realizing (and I love that they tell us the wars the mages participated in were merchant wars. Just a random little tidbit, but yes. Wars do tend to be about money)
And this was a very long post and I said a whole bunch of nothing because I can't keep a train of thought to save my life. I just wordvomited a bunch of things that I liked. Long story short: characteryzation in Fairy Tail is top tier and I won't be taking criticism about it. You can try to critisize me though, I do enjoy arguing when I have enough braincells to put words together in the right order
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antibayern · 1 month
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jahiera · 8 months
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thinking of a new tav who's an archfey warlock perhaps... she made a pact with [patron pending] to help her kill her last two husbands so she could keep their money. she's a noblewoman from the upper city of baldur's gate. definitely knew cazador from society parties & when astarion drops his lore unfortunately her first reaction is "oh he had such nice finger sandwiches at his parties. can we find out where he got those before we kill him." "well he probably ate the chef after so. no." "hm. sad. ah well!" because she sucks so much. she's going to romance Wyll perhaps (?) and MAYBE he can fix her. maybe. likely not but Perhaps.
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tamagotchikgs · 27 days
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went to a lil restaurant with my sister today && ordered all by myself
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savrenim · 3 months
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not to be another donations post but you may remember how over the summer we had massive amounts of plumbing problems and other unexpected moving costs? well. after proceeding to work every single hour available to me for six months, take no holidays whatsoever, and budget the hell out of every aspect of my life, I was actually on track to pay everything back and maybe have a little bit of wiggle room by the time summer came around!
and then we got a call from the vet about routine labs saying that if we didn't take Suzy in to an emergency specialty hospital immediately, she would die within in a week, she might die anyways if we took her there, but it was our only chance to have a few more months with her. after an extremely difficult household discussion, we decided that we needed to do as much as we could for her. she's been a beloved member of the family for 18 years. we were not going to abandon her in her hour of need.
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with two days at the specialty hospital, the prognosis was better than we could have possibly hoped! the most important thing is she does not have heart problems at all, which means that we can treat her chronic kidney disease with normal IV fluids and with careful treatment she could easily be with us for years to come. the timely intervention also may or may not have saved her from acute kidney failure too, we'll know when we go back to the vet on Wednesday to get her blood checked where her levels have stabilized at.
two days at the specialty hospital means we are also down $3652 , and no longer are on track to pay back everything by July when it comes due unless a couple of uncertain things going forward Go Right, I do not trust everything to Go Right, and we're also still uncertain about what long-term treatment going forward is going to cost.
I still have my ko-fi and my patreon, but honestly, I'm aware that everything is tight for everyone always and there are also a lot of causes that need money right now and in the face of that "hey my family went super out on a limb to try to save our cat and would love some help not falling off" feels kind of shallow. but like. not to sound dumb or like a youtuber or podcaster, but, like. honestly I think the Most Helpful Thing that anyone could do for me right now is take a fucking HelloFresh link that will send you a "free" box for cost-of-shipping ($7ish?) if you Sign Up For An Account that you can then cancel Immediately After The Box Has Shipped and Never Give Them Any More Money Than That and get Six To Ten Meals Out Of It, and for getting someone to "sign up", they will give me a free box too. like. if 13 people are willing to take a link then I don't need to worry about food for the next three months. which would be. HUGE.
so I guess.... dm me if you want a link? otherwise expect to see a lot of promotion of my writing/ patreon as I scramble the hell to try to make this money up
#my life#pet sick for tw#donation post#sort of#yes I am aware that Hello Fresh is problematique / union-busting#they are also currently the only easily accessible source of Free Food that we can actually eat/use#honestly if anyone Wants To Help but doesn't really have the $7 for shipping#I will freaking venmo you back the $7 after I get confirmation of account credit#sending someone $7 for $60 of groceries still means you have Gifted Our Household with net $50 of food#at no cost to yourself#I'm not in As Shitty of a place as last summer bc my mother is also deeply emotionally attached to Suzy#and has agreed to spot us in July for a bit of the money if we pay her back in September#it's just!!!! really FUCKING frustrating!!!!!! we had the money saved!!!! I have spent the last six months KILLING myself to have the money#and now we are back to nearly square 1 except with six months instead of twelve months to make up the difference#so. free food would be much appreciated. as that would also mean that no matter what bullshit the next few months throws at us we at least#know that there will be weekly groceries shipped to us#me @ my job give me overtime hours#legit might destroy me again to work a 240hr month a month or two in a row#but three months of THAT would put me in the clear and they've got free coffee and energy drinks at work#however in lieu of my job giving me the ability to Not Practice The Best Self Care in return for Ungodly Amounts Of Money#'hi friends and mutuals can I interest you in a HelloFresh box' is the best I can do#I swear I will never start a youtube channel or start podcasting tho
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I had this great dream that there was a Portal 2/ Half-life (1) crossover where Chell was running around the contaminated parts of Aparature in a HEV suit and Gordon was saving scientist who were is coma from GLaDoS (one of them was Rattman doing the HL scientist screams when thrown in a portal). They also swapped outfits.
Another thing was that Freeman was *actually* mute and was using sign language to speak. Wheatly however had no idea what sign language even was which I think might have been on point.
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derpinette · 14 days
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gatekeepers fear me the way i instantly advertise things as soon as i know i like them
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cuubism · 11 months
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Whenever you post another Hope/Morpheus fic snippet my brain does this:
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that's kind of what they are doing to my brain right now too 😂 i need them to get out of my house
(it's based on this post i made ages ago btw, that's what this fic was birthed from. it wasn't supposed to get this long XD)
I'm so glad you're looking forward to it, that makes me happy :)
here's a snippet. 1789 meeting. tw violence
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Morpheus was hardly shocked when the goons stepped forward, though Hope looked between them in surprise, as if he had truly expected he might be able to negotiate his way out of this. And argument or not, Morpheus was not going to let these men step near him. He stood, which effectively drew both men’s gazes to him, discreetly picking up cutlery as he went. Morpheus had had plenty of occasions in life to need to know how to fight, and he was lightly built in comparison to lots of other men so he’d learnt to fight fast and dirty. He went for the man closer to Hope first, catching him about the wrist as he swung his blade, twisting so it dropped from his grasp and landing a hard jab of the heel of his hand into the man’s solar plexus. The man dropped to the floor, and Morpheus spun for the other, just missing the slash of a blade at his shoulder. He ducked under the blow and brought up the fork he’d grabbed from the table, spearing it right into the man’s eye, ignoring the spray of blood and the scream. He was calm, felt nothing about it other than the need to stay between Hope and these men who would do him harm, though perhaps he should have felt more, fear or regret for the violence. But he didn’t. Having downed both of the lady’s goons, Morpheus turned again—only to find the lady herself holding a knife to his throat. He expected to have to shove her off and possibly get his throat cut in the process—not that it would be permanent—when Hope stood and slipped between them, quiet as a flicker of light, and touched two fingers to the lady’s bare sternum. She gasped as if he’d plunged a blade into her chest instead, and stumbled back, eyes wide, dropping her knife with a clatter. She looked utterly dazed, far off, and as Morpheus watched, tears fell from her eyes, one after the other, and she clutched her chest. And then fled. Morpheus watched her leave with curiosity. Somehow, he hadn’t expected Hope to have any defensive abilities—he was always rather the type to negotiate with a burglar that they should be making better life choices—but in retrospect it was obvious that an Endless would be able to defend himself, even if he didn’t often use it. When Morpheus looked over at him—he was really standing quite close, which Morpheus tried not to think about—Hope was openly gaping at him. “You— you stabbed him in the eye.” Morpheus raised an eyebrow. “And?” “With a fork.” “Yes, I thought pulling a proper knife might be more conspicuous.” Morpheus couldn’t tell if the man was dead. He was certainly down. It didn’t really matter. “Vicious.” Hope looked at the fallen bodies. “Fates. What a turn for drinks to take.” “I suppose you hoped for better,” Morpheus said, and Hope grinned at him. “Always do.”
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knocknut · 5 days
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there is nothing that makes me quite more suicidal than fucking something up or not doing something at all than “you’re a grown adult” wow thanks I didn’t fucking notice. Did you know that I have a mental block that prevents me from understanding literally anything in simple terms
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trashcreatyre · 10 months
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She’s my oc now, sorry i don’t make the rules :/
Some of y’all don’t deserve her tbh
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