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inkskinned · 2 years

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kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.

i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."

goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'

"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.

behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."

"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."

"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."

later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."

she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.

the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?

i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.

but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.

each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".

but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.

#spilled ink #warm up #so i have worked in childcare as a teacher for like 15 years #hence the language behind ''what helps you be safe in your body?''#like you can tell by what i say here i have EXPERIENCE with kids.#but tbh the REAL teacher moment is watching a 6/7 year old say #''this makes me nervous #can you please not come closer?''#as a teacher i was IMMEDIATELY like ... ahh whomever is raising you is doing an EXCELLENT job holy shit #verbalizing your fears? trusting an adult to listen?#ability to recognize a way you might feel safer?#like .... this kid's caregivers.... that one moment... i was like .... who are u i wanna french kiss you big on the mouth

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mypoisonedvine · 9 months

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another idea for dr crane but i'm afraid it might be too similar to thoughtless so please just ignore if it is!!: from personal experience, being a patient of his who is seeing him bc of sexual trauma. fear of penetration due to previous sexual assault. and ofc he's all about exposure therapy. and you wanna trust him so so bad bc he wants what's best for you, he's encouraging you ("you deserve to embrace your sexuality, you get past this one barrier and you're free"), but you start to fight back. and he takes personal offense bc he's your doctor, why don't you trust his expertise? but then it starts to feel good~

idk i picture reader trying with a toy in front of him but he gets impatient sees she's struggling with going that extra step further so he takes control either with the toy or himself.

warnings: not actually that dark (I mean, it is cause he's her therapist lol but he's not nonconning her) but still manipulation, slightly medical kink?, praise kink

(oops this turned out pretty long how did that happen? lmao)

"Did you try what we discussed last week?" he asked, and you pressed your knees together as you looked down and shook your head. "Really? You seemed very positive about it before."

"I was," you admitted. "It seemed really easy-- just sort of training myself, you know. But then I got home and... I guess it was a little overwhelming."

"Hm," he said, and you started to feel guilty for disappointing him. "That's interesting-- it seems like you were more comfortable here than at home. I figured it would be the other way around."

"Yeah, that would make more sense, I guess," you shrugged, "but-- I dunno..."

"Do you want to try again?" he wondered.

"I do," you admitted, "but I'm nervous that I'll start panicking again..."

"Then why don't you try here?"

You tensed up at just the suggestion; "Wouldn't that be... I mean, isn't that...?"

"I'm a medical doctor," he reminded you with a chuckle, "I've seen much worse. This is simply part of your treatment. I want you to get better."

You took a deep breath, nodding. "Okay," you decided. "Okay, I can try it."

"Great," he smiled, uncrossing his legs and resetting his clipboard in his lap. "We agreed before that you'd be more comfortable with your fingers than silicone dilators, is that still--?"

"Yes," you interrupted, "definitely. Feels too... clinical, otherwise."

He nodded, and there was a brief silence.

"So, do I just... start?"

"I'd like you to try," he said gently.

You noticed that his gaze never broke away from you, but you looked down into your lap as you started to slowly spread your legs. "So I just.. reach under my dress?"

"That should be fine," he encouraged. "There's nothing to be afraid of-- this is a safe space."

You nodded in agreement, pulling up your dress enough to reach into your panties. Sighing, you tried not to let nerves get the better of you as you pushed your lips apart with your fingers. But still, the anxiety was bubbling up, and you pressed the tip of your finger to your hole only to feel resistance alongside your distress. "I-- I don't think I can--"

"It's alright," he soothed, "start with the outside first-- stimulate your clitoris."

You choked on a laugh, still too nervous to look at him. "You really are a medical doctor..."

"What, too formal?" he chuckled. "Alright... rub your clit."

That shocked you even more than the clinical language; but it made you pulse inside, too. "O-okay..."

You pressed your fingers against the bud, trying to rub it, but it didn't really feel like anything-- like rubbing your elbow or something. Jonathan corrected you right away: "Not so hard," he said, "start gently."

"Sorry," you breathed, shutting your eyes.

"No-- it's fine," he assured, "I just want to help."

He was right, though; when you lessened the pressure and gently rubbed in circles, it started to feel good-- slowly, but surely. When your next breath came out shaky, you heard him hum with satisfaction.

"Is that better?" he asked.

"Yes," you answered, but you didn't mean for it to be a moan.

"I think you're ready," he informed you-- and something about his voice, it was lower than before, it was different... it was making you wet.

"Ready... for what?" you whispered, daring to open your eyes and see the darkness in his expression as he watched you.

"Ready to fuck yourself with your fingers."

"Oh," you sighed, feeling like you'd been punched in the gut-- in the best possible way. "Okay..."

"Just one to start," he encouraged, "put a finger inside yourself, nice and slow."

You sighed as you pressed the finger up to your hole again, smiling as you realized it was more open-- and wet-- than before. You gently pressed in further, finding some pressure but pushing through it until you were knuckle deep in yourself. You smiled happily; "I did it," you breathed, "oh my god, I-- I never thought I'd--"

"Don't stop," he cooed, "move it back and forth. If you do well enough, you can add a second finger."

You figured he meant it that you would be able to add a second finger, but it almost sounded like a bargain, like a reward. Do what I say and I'll let you add a second, or something. Surely that wasn't what he meant.

"A little faster," he encouraged as you pumped the finger. "That's it, very good."

You whimpered, biting down on your lip to hide your moan. You wanted him to say that again, to tell you that you were doing this correctly.

"Add the second now," he instructed, his own voice suddenly sounding a little hoarse and needy. "Stretch yourself out-- and tell me how it feels."

"It feels good," you panted as you started to add your second finger, whining at the stretch. "Fuck, I-- will they both fit?"

He chuckled a little-- a low, rough sound-- and promised you: "Yes, they'll fit. You can take a lot more than two fingers, with some patience."

You hadn't even imagined being able to do more than this-- for years, you hadn't been able to put anything inside you, and now here you were... fingering yourself in front of your therapist. "How much more?" you wondered, hardly imagining how it could be possible.

There was a long, long pause; you worried he hadn't heard you. Looking at him again, you found him watching with a tight jaw.

"How much more can I take, Dr. Crane?" you asked again.

"You can take anything I give you," he answered tensely.

A shiver ran up your spine; "F-fuck," you whimpered, and your walls pulsed around your fingers.

"You're going to come, aren't you?" he noticed, and you nodded. "Good."

You gasped.

"Very good," he egged you on, seeing the effect it had on you; your head tilted back as you pushed your fingers into yourself faster. "You're doing very well for me-- now I just need to see you come. I just need you to make yourself come."

"Yes, yes," you chanted, hips rocking, moans growing louder. "It feels good-- fuck, Doctor, I--"

"I know," he soothed, "just let it happen. Keep going. Come for me."

It hit you all at once, a heavy and numbing feeling that left you shaking on his couch; he purred out his praises, telling you how good you were doing, and it only made the feeling stronger.

When you exhausted yourself, you stilled; there was a moment of silence, just your panting filling the air, until you found the strength to meet his gaze again. He was smiling at you sweetly, looking oddly similar to how he always did at the end of a session. "That was incredible progress," he said proudly. "You should be very impressed with yourself."

You sighed as you nervously pulled your fingers out of yourself. "I-- do you have a tissue I can wipe these with?" you asked nervously.

"No need," he said, "you should taste it."

"Wh-what?" you choked out, your face even warmer than before.

"Just taste it-- I think you'll like it," he encouraged.

Though you hesitated for a second, you brought your wet fingers to your lips and gently licked off some of the sticky substance left behind.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"It's sort of strange," you admitted.

"It's an acquired taste," he shrugged, making your heart pound as you realized just from the look in his eyes that this was absolutely a taste he'd acquired... then again, there must have been a reason that he knew even better than you how to touch yourself and make you come.

Then, it was impossible not to imagine what he's like when he does this off the clock-- the way he touches and pleasures the women he takes to bed. You imagined him with his fingers inside lace panties, whispering in her ear about how good she was being for him; you imagined him pushing two inside and promising to give her more; you imagined him making her come, over and over, until he's satisfied and brings those soaked fingers to his lips and calling her delicious.

And even though you tried not to picture who that woman would be, you couldn't help but wonder if he'd like a woman like you... if you were the type he'd do that to, if you weren't his patient.

"Thank you," you blurted out. "I never thought I'd be able to... thank you. It's been a long time since I was able to feel that."

He nodded. "Thank you for trusting me," he replied. Glancing at the clock, he sighed a little through a polite smile: "Oh, look at that, we're out of time for today. This has been a really excellent session."

"Yeah," you agreed as you both stood up, "definitely."

"And next week, we can discuss the next steps in your recovery."

You raised your eyebrows when you heard that, already almost halfway out of the office. "Next steps?" you noticed.

"Yes," he agreed, "you made great progress, but there's still so much more for you to learn."

#jonathan crane fic #jonathan crane smut #jonathan crane x reader #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy smut #scarecrow x reader

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space-mango-company · 17 days

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Stranger | Chapter 5

Chapter Links: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5]

TW: Descriptions of Violence, Mentions of Cannibalism

Tags: Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Atreides!Reader, Arranged Marriage, Eventual Smut, POV Second Person, No use of y/n, Original Characters, Canon What Canon

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: Not proofread!! Holy moly. Here it is, folks. The scene that inspired this whole fic. I had fun writing this so I really hope you enjoy it. Once again, I appreciate everyone who likes, comments, and/or leaves kudos so much. I really started this fic for myself but good golly, that dopamine rush whenever I get a notif might be more addicting than spice. I'm glad to be part of the bald man brigade.

Also, I can't believe I'm only now questioning why I decided to write this in the second person? I guess maybe I thought this fic would be a lot shorter and not that deep, lol. At this point 'y/n' probably has enough personality to just be a straight-up OC. It's funnier because I don't even find second-person or y/n fics any more engaging either. I always detach myself by giving 'y/n' her own name and only seeing her as a character in the fic.

ANYWAY, sorry to ramble. Stay safe and have a good one, ya weirdos.

You step out into the dark cul-de-sac of the guest hall, illuminated only by the large suspensor lamp in the middle. Feyd-Rautha looks you up and down, seemingly entranced by how the dim light casts his shadow on your modest dress. Atreides green, he recognized.

"Trying to sneak into my rooms again?" you say arms crossed, leaning on your door. "I didn't appreciate the last time, by the way."

"It's my house," he says cooly, "and I did knock this time."

You stare at him indifferently.

"Quite the display from you yesterday morning, using The Voice on me." His voice low and raspy, "I should have you drawn and quartered."

You scoff in his face. "You almost choked me to death. Are you trying to start a war?"

He takes a step closer and his face is inches from yours, you can feel his breath on your cheek, "I didn't think I'd like you this much, little hawk."

"What do you want, Feyd-Rautha?" you had no patience for him right now.

"Ah," he steps back, a dark smile on his face, "I've been waiting to hear my name from your tongue." His hand reaches for your lips. "I've grown quite tired of 'na-Baron'."

You grab his wrist before he can touch you. "If you're only here to toy with me, I would rather be left alone to prepare for bed." You release his hand and turn to open your door.

Feyd-Rautha props an arm against the doorway to block you. "We're to be married in three days," he says, "and I just can't seem to bring myself to let go of my 'harpies', as you called them." He meets your gaze. "You said you'd kill them. Did you mean that?"

You look up at him with steely eyes. He towered over you but your heart felt no fear, "Yes."

His coy smile returns. "Good. Come to my training hall tomorrow," he says, walking away.

"What?" you call after him.

"Dress to fight," he says over his shoulder. "I want to see what you can do, Atreides."

You needed no help from Zora in putting on a loose shirt and long pants. The plain beige outfit certainly wasn't as elegant as the dresses you had been wearing so far. But it was comfortable and you could fight in it, which was all that mattered. Still, you look yourself in the mirror. The soft, airy fabrics draped over your figure well but perhaps you were not in the best shape as you once were. Your muscle mass is much less than your brother's and he wasn't particularly built himself. You admit you did wane off your training sessions with Gurney and Paul leading up to your departure from Caladan. Nevertheless, you were still a skilled warrior. Another secret you've been keeping from the Harkonnens.

You were 14 when you started learning the blade. Watching Paul, 2 years your senior, practice with the Atreides Warmaster lit a fire in you. You didn't hesitate to pester your father to let you train with them and of course, there was nothing he could deny his darling daughter. You were a fierce and determined student. Gurney Halleck was a man you genuinely believed to be one of the best fighters in the Imperium, along with Duncan Idaho. Gurney would train you and Paul on even days. On odd days, your mother would teach you the Weirding Way. These lessons, much like the rest of your mother's teachings, your father wanted to know nothing about. After becoming decently adept at Prana-Bindu and gaining almost complete physical control of your body, Lady Jessica insisted that you also be skilled in the Bene Gesserit style of combat.

You were far from mastery in either but the combination of both trainings made you a formidable fighter. Despite this, you could never seem to beat your brother in a sparring match. A fact that frustrated you to no end, though you appreciated that Paul never went easy on you. You'd always blame it on him having trained for longer than you have. But in truth, you knew there had just always been something special about him.

"Are you ready, my lady?" Zora's soft voice wakes you from your thoughts.

"Hm? Right. Yes, let's go." You quickly tie your hair out of the way and grab your father's dagger from atop your dresser.

There was no fanfare when you entered the hall. On one end, the na-Baron's concubines sat chained on the steps of the shallow recessed pit in their leathers, their glares piercing through you. Your eyes linger on them as Feyd-Rautha and his Warmaster greet you.

"I was starting to think my lady bride was bluffing," Feyd-Rautha says as you approach him. The older man beside him offers you a polite bow.

"Perhaps she wasn't so keen on your brutish games," you bite back. "Your lord uncle won't be joining us?"

"No," Feyd-Rautha crosses his arms, "but he'll be hearing about your victory. Or your demise."

"Right. Well, I assume you'll be releasing them from those chains," you nod towards his pets "Not sure why they're necessary."

"Oh, trust me, little hawk. They're necessary." Feyd-Rautha motions to a servant.

"Your blade and shield, my lady," they bow, presenting you with a knife and a small device you recognize as a Holtzman shield.

"I've brought my own," you unsheath your father's dagger. You contemplate taking the shield but remembering that the na-Baron forwent it during his gladiator fight, you decide to do so as well. "They've no weapons anyway, the shield seems pointless."

Feyd-Rautha shrugs, "If you insist."

You take a deep breath, "Let's get this over with."

You lightly stretch as you walk down the steps of the shallow pit to stand opposite the na-Baron's concubines. You had come into this on the pretense of righteousness. For Iassa, you told yourself. But you've known her a mere two days. A part of you wanted to show off. You were good and you knew it. You could probably kill anyone in this room, even Feyd-Rautha. You craved the respect of the people here: the Harkonnens, the people of Geidi Prime. You figured this was one way to get it.

Feyd-Rautha walks around the pit to one of his concubines and kneels to whisper something in her ear. You assume a fighting stance when he moves to release her from the chains. When you meet her eyes, they are filled with feral bloodlust.

Suddenly, you weren't so bold. The veil of courage you have maintained since you arrived, even when Feyd-Rautha had your neck in his grip, is torn apart when you face this woman. You could tell no part of her would hesitate to rip your throat out with her bare teeth. You were almost relieved they were unarmed, but you weren't sure if that would make them any less lethal.

Fear grew in your chest and you had less than a moment to recite the Litany in your head before the concubine lunged at you.

You crouch down in time and slash at her abdomen as she approaches you. You turn to face her on the other side of the pit and she wastes no time in attacking you again. She attempts to grab your armed hand but you take hold of her wrist first and move to pin it behind her back. Quickly, your blade drags across her throat and she falls to your feet.

The kill has not yet registered in your mind but your heart is racing. You can almost hear your blood coursing through your veins. You held your arms outstretched, your eyes focused ahead, ready for the next one.

Across the pit, Feyd-Rautha licks his lips, smiling as he releases his second concubine. This time, you walk toward her while she moves to attack you. You clock her head with the pommel of your dagger and knock her a few steps back. She reaches a hand to wipe the blood beginning to drip out of her nose. After examining it, she snarls and bares her sharp teeth at you. Your mind is blank now. She dodges your first slash then manages to land a blow to your jaw. You seethe from the pain. You spit out the mixture of blood and saliva filling your mouth. The anger at the hit drives you to rush at her. Seeing an opening, you duck down to her waist and stab her twice. As she falls to her knees, the look of determination doesn't leave her eyes until the very last moment.

When you turn around, Feyd-Rautha has already released the last concubine. The ruthless scream she lets out disorients you. She pounces and knocks you over. She straddles you and pins your arms to the ground, your blade sliding inches away. She screams again in your face at the death of her sisters. You wedge your right knee between you and her abdomen, the only thing keeping her teeth from reaching your throat. You grunt as you struggle to free your hands. In your periphery, you see Feyd-Rautha, wielding his own blade, take a step into the pit.

"GET BACK," you roar, and he is powerless to refuse.

You turn back to your opponent still on top of you and you butt her head with your own. She loosens her grip and you kick her off to hastily crawl to your weapon. When she reorients herself and attempts to grab you again, you hook a knee under her arm and flip the both of you over. With your weight on her chest and both your knees pinning her arms down, she thrashes underneath you, claws digging into your right ankle. You take your blade in both hands and her screaming is silenced when you sink your knife deep into her heart.

When you rise, the room is quiet. Your chest heaves. The stark white ceiling lights don't help the lightheadedness that begins to wash over you in the post-adrenaline rush. Feyd-Rautha says something from behind you but his speech is garbled as you reel from the thrill of what just transpired. You were electrified. You almost... wanted more.

Then, the realization of the revolting scene you are in settles upon you and you are knocked off your high. You look at the leather-clad bodies scattered around you, the grotesque way they lay on the floor, the red blood pooling around them made brighter by the sterile grayness of the room. You did this.

A hand on your shoulder snaps you out of it. In reflex, you turn and raise your blade at the offender.

Feyd-Rautha holds his hands up, "Whoa, easy, Atreides. Trying to kill me? Don't want to start a war, do you?"

You yield your weapon. Your eyes dodge his as you look to your feet and try to steady your breathing.

"Enjoy your first taste of blood?" Feyd-Rautha says, the look in his eyes indecipherable to you. He raises a hand and swipes his thumb on your cheek. It comes away covered in crimson.

You gasp and reach for your face with your own hand. You don't even know if it's your blood or theirs, or when it got on you. Your heart pounded, unable to decide whether you were repulsed or proud.

"Look at you," he says licking the red off his finger. You could not help but stare at him through the strands of your hair that had come undone in the fighting. "You're beautiful like this," his hand reaches for your face again.

"No," you say low and quiet when you swat his hand away, "you're sick." You didn't know if you meant him or yourself. You calmly turn to leave. No one stops you when you make your way up the shallow steps of the pit. As you pass Iassa—no, Zora—by the doorway, you tell her flatly, "Prepare a bath."

You had never taken a life before. Today, you took three. You were glad you didn't know their names. You decided you'd never find out.

After Zora pours a final pitcher of hot water into the bath, you tell her, "You may go. I'll dress myself later, thank you."

She bows and makes her way out of your rooms.

In your solitude, you bring your knees to your chest. You had been quick to wipe the blood off your cheek before you even reached your quarters. Now, you cup the water into your hands and rub it into your face, the slight sting of the heat comforting you.

He was a cruel man, your betrothed. This is what you've decided. Having you kill the concubines he claimed to want to keep so much. But wasn't it you who threatened to kill them? He started it, you argue with yourself, when he had Iassa killed. You felt like a child.

When you used to hear of Feyd-Rautha's exploits, you had to mask your disgust. And yet now, you had killed so easily in that pit as he had in the arena. What was this place doing to you?

When you left Caladan, Paul had never killed anyone either. You wonder if he ever does, would he feel the same exhilaration you did when you slit that first concubine's throat. No. Your brother was fierce but, like your father, he had a good heart. You beat him by three. You hoped it would stay that way.

You think about your future here, marrying Feyd-Rautha. Producing heir after heir under the Baron's watchful eye. You were a broodmare. Despite all your fancy training and education. Despite your little demonstration earlier. It was the bitter truth.

You missed home. You missed walking along the beach at night with your father. You missed your mother's gentle hands brushing your hair. You missed the banter and teasing with your brother. You missed Gurney, and Duncan, and the cold breeze on your balcony, and getting to roam free and going anywhere you pleased. When the tears come, you sink deep into the bath so they might fade away in the water.

Chapter Links: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5]

Taglist: @torchbearerkyle @austinswhitewolf @dreamlandcreations @emeraldsgirl @strawberryfieldsforevermore @bornslippys @vexis-world @aoi-targaryen @alexandrainlove @mamawiggers1980 @sstardussty @aboutthenabaron

#feyd rautha x reader #feyd rautha x you #feyd rautha fic #feyd rautha #feyd rautha harkonnen #atreides reader #dune #dune part two #space-mango-company #fic: stranger

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sunny44 · 8 months

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Marriage (Pt. 2)

Pairing: Max Verstappen x ex fiancée!reader Mason Mount x Fiancée!reader

Warnings: past talk, anger

Summary: Max leaves his fiancée y/n at the altar on their wedding day but after years of regretting what he did, by a miracle of fate (or Lando) she appears in his life again.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

The next day, after a restless night of reflection and regret, I decided that I needed to do something to make up for what I had done to Y/N years ago.

I couldn't just leave things the way they were.

I called Lando and asked if I could talk to him in person. He agreed and we met at a nearby café.

As soon as we sat down, I poured out my story and remorse to him, admitting all my faults and fears on that fateful day.

Lando listened in silence, with a serious look on his face.

"So that's why she reacted like that when you offered to pay,." he finally said. "My God, Max, how could you do such a thing? She's an amazing person and you had the chance to marry that woman and you ran out of the church like a scared puppy."

"I know, I screwed up and I really regret it, that's why I'm trying to get you to give me her number for me or I don't know maybe I’ll write a letter and you deliver it." He sighs. "Please, I'm begging you.”

"You know how much it must hurt her, right?" I shook my head, feeling the weight of guilt once again.

"I know, and I really want to make things right, Lando. If you can help me talk to her, I owe her a decent apology and an explanation of why I did what I did."Lando looked at me for a moment and then nodded.

"I'll talk to her, Max. But I can't guarantee that she'll want to see you again."

I thanked Lando and he promised to do his best to arrange a meeting between us.

While I was waiting, I started writing a letter to Y/N, expressing all my feelings and regrets honestly. I knew that a letter wouldn't solve everything, but I also didn't know if I'd be able to express all my feelings to her, I've never been good at expressing myself and I know that when it comes to talking to her I'll get in the way and won't be able to say everything.

A few days later, Lando called to tell me that Y/N had agreed to meet me at a local café. My heart was racing as I headed there.

When I walked in, I saw Y/N sitting at a table at the back.

She looked tense and nervous, but also determined. I sat down opposite her and took a deep breath.

"Lando said you wanted to talk to me so I'm hoping you'll say something instead of just staring at me like a idiot."

"I owe you a lot more than an apology and I also know that nothing I do or say will fix what I did, let alone ease the pain I caused you, but I'm not the same person anymore, I'm not the same stupid 21-year-old boy who left you at the altar." I took a breath and continued speaking. "I'd do everything differently if I could and I know you're probably thinking that it's too late to change the past and I know that but I can make it up to you in the future and prove to you that I'm a better person."

"I don't need you to prove anything to me."

"I know that, but I want you to know that the person who hurt you no longer exists." I took the letter out of my pocket and handed it to her. "The only thing that hasn't changed about me in all this time is the fact that I'm terrible at showing my feelings, but you already know that. I don't expect this to fix everything, Y/N, but it's a start."

She took the letter and laughed wryly as I got up to leave.

"Do you really think a letter can fix something, Max?"

"No, I don't think so, Y/N. But it's a start for me to express how sorry I am and how much you mean to me. I was wrong, I was afraid, but that doesn't justify what I did."

She took the letter and started to open it, but I put my hand over hers to stop her.

"I don't want you to read it now, I don't want you to read it in anger or out of obligation. I want you to go home and read it when you feel ready and not because I asked you to." I took my car key out of my pocket. "I'm really sorry and I hope you can forgive me someday."

I paid for our coffees and left with my heart a little lighter knowing that she had a part of my feelings in her hands.

Taglist: @ironmaiden1313 @dudenhaaa27 @christianpulisic10 @gaslysainz @fanboyluvr @urgirlceci @justdreamersdream @aundercover @newlifeforus @depressedriches @topguncultleader @123beautifulgirl123 @luvrrish

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midnight-rain-fics · 1 year

Text

Bad kind of butterflies

{Fandom: Grishaverse}

{Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem! reader}

Summary: Y/N and Kaz get tangled in a web of unspoken truths and it falls upon them to tangle themselves before they fall and stumble.

A/N: I have nothing to say for myself. I wrote this whole fic just because of this freaking gif. This is purely self indulgent but enjoy I guess.

“I got bad, bad kind of butterflies in my chest

There's something I gotta confess

Yes, somebody's stuck in my head”

Y/N had been a new but welcome addition to the crows, or so Kaz had believed until she had unknowingly become a thorn in his side. His chest constricted every time he saw her, and it became difficult to breathe whenever she was around.

She was oblivious to the fact, of course. The only one who had any idea of these stirrings of his was Nina, who always side eyed him whenever Y/N entered any room he was in.

Despite his best efforts, his eyes always seemed to seek out hers and his heart jolted whenever he looked at her wide eyes.

He truly could not stop his eyes from travelling to that plush bottom lip that was more often than not trapped between pearly white teeth. Just like it was now.

Kaz pushed the thought, along with several others just like it, into that dark corner of his mind and barred the gate. He needed to focus.

"Kaz?" Y/N questioned, looking at him nervously, her wrists clutching each other behind her back, twisting together.

How had she pulled him so deep in? Even after being in Barrel for months now, she had no jagged edges. She was supposed to be everything he hated. Soft, fragile, vulnerable.

And oh so, beautiful.

Damnit.

Kaz looked up from the paperwork he was supposedly working on and looked up to meet her gaze, "Yes, what can I do for you?"

"The others wanted to know if you would be joining us for drinks"

"And you volunteered to come get me, Y/N?"

"Didn't really have a choice" Y/N mumbled, without looking at him.

"Oh, so you don't want me to join you?" Kaz raised an eyebrow, watching in silent amusement as she shuffled her feet, mouth already opening in protest. He nodded, "Duly noted."

"That's not what I meant!" Y/N protested, her eyes widening a little at her own volume. She cleared her throat, her voice soft as she looked down at her feet, "You know that's not what I mean"

"Do I?"

Y/N sighed, not meeting his eyes. Irritation pricked at her like it always did when Kaz tormented her. She was sure he got some amusement by testing her resolve.

She would never admit how much she liked it.

Kaz stood up, closing the distance between them until he stood in front of her, hands clutching his crow-headed cane.

He leaned down his head, causing Y/N's eyes to meet his, "Use your words, little bird"

"I-" Y/N opened her mouth and closed it again. She closed her eyes and took another deep breath before meeting Kaz’s eyes, "Are you coming, then?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes"

Kaz took a step back and gave her a long look, and Y/N’s skin thrummed with the feeling of being the centre of his attention. Unaware of her thoughts, Kaz nodded, "I'll get my coat then"

"What happened?" Kaz walked into the living room of the Slat, his eyes landing on Jesper who was supporting an exhausted Wylan. It wa supposed to be a simple job and yet somehow, something had gone wrong.

His eyes searched for Y/N but she was nowhere to be seen.

"Y/N got hurt,” Those three words were enough to make Kaz’s heart collapse in on itself. Jesper continued, not noticing Kaz’s dilemma, “Nina is tending to her"

Kaz nodded and with his heart pounding in his ears, made his way towards Y/N's room. He stood in the doorway, watching Nina heal Y/N.

Nina cast him a meaningful glance, that he promptly ignored, and continued tending to Y/N’s shoulder which had the faint markings of a stab wound.

Breath seemed to return to Kaz’s lungs as Nina finished healing the wound, the skin knitted together as if there had never been a wound there. Y/N had her lips pressed together, unshed tears lining her long lashes.

Nina pressed a kiss to Y/N’s temple and bid them farewell, but not before she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at Kaz, nodding in Y/N’s direction.

With the patience that came with dealing with Jesper and Nina’s antics for far too long, Kaz ignored her as she left and looked towards Y/N who had finally let her tears fall.

"Does it still hurt?"

"No" Y/N mumbled, wiping at her cheeks with the back of her hand even as a new wave of tears streamed down her cheeks.

Kaz took a few steps forward and sat down at the side of her bed. His cane was firmly clutched in his left hand as he took out a handkerchief from his coat and handed it out to Y/N.

Y/N sniffled, wiping away the remaining tears, and then proceeding to hide her face with the handkerchief, "this is embarrassing"

"No need to worry, little bird, you embarrass yourself on the daily. I am used to it" Kaz's lips tugged into a faint smirk when Y/N whined in embarrassment.

"That's even worse"

Kaz stood up, and nudged Y/N's thigh with his cane, catching her eyes, "Get some rest"

Y/N nodded and watched him leave with a heavy heart. It was always so confusing, this game of tug of war between them. Y/N was afraid to tug too hard while Kaz kept tugging her close, making her lose her footing.

He knew she was bound to fall. She didn't dare to hope he would catch her.

"What the fuck was that?"

Y/N closed her eyes and breathed deeply. The sound of Kaz's harsh voice grated in her ears, making her heart pound in anxiety. Her instincts screamed at her to leave his office.

The heist had gone wrong. So very wrong. And Y/N had nearly gotten herself shot. Once the adrenaline had worn off, Y/N had grown numb with the realization of what had almost happened.

"I-" Y/N started, choking down her nerves, hands fiddling with the rings on her finger as she looked up at him.

Kaz's eyes blazed with hot fury as he took a step towards her, caging her between himself and his desk, "Do you have no regard for your own safety?"

"I am fine, Kaz"

"You could have died" Kaz gritted out, his grip near painful on his cane. He could have lost her. If he had been a moment too late, she would be gone.

The waters rose and Kaz gripped the beak of the crow-headed cane to ground himself. She was here. Y/N was here. And she was alive.

Never again would he let her put herself in danger.

"But I didn't! And I knew what I was doing" Y/N's excuses fell on deaf ears. Kaz clenched his jaw in anger and took another step forward.

"Did you? Or are you so self-absorbed that you think you know best? Do you even care what would have happened to the rest of the crows if you didn't make it?" Each word that left Kaz’s lips was dipped in poison, seeping into her skin with deadly accuracy.

"You're being cruel, Kaz" Y/N whispered, bottom lip caught in between her teeth as she bit into it. It was a bad habit. But the pain have her something to focus on. Something other than the intensity of Kaz’s furious gaze.

"And you're being a brat, Y/N" Kaz whispered, head tilting down to stare into her eyes. For once, he didn’t break eye contact. He couldn’t, not when the fear of losing her was so fresh in his mind.

Y/N looked down, Kaz’s disappointment weighing down on her. It made her nauseous, “I am sorry"

"No, I don't think you are" Kaz whispered, his voice cold and cutting as he rested tapped the side of her calf with his cane, his restraint slowly slipping, "I think you're just a brat who needs to be taught a lesson”

"Kaz" Y/N inhaled sharply, her heart beating so loudly that she wouldn’t be surprised if Kaz heard it.

"You should leave, Y/N" Kaz said, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He gathered the last fraying threads of his self-restraint. It was up to her now. She could leave and they could go back to the line they hadn’t crossed yet.

Kaz knew greed. He knew it as he gazed at Y/N, so intensely, as if he might steal the very image of her beauty if he tried hard enough.

But Desire was a different game. Kaz toed the line of desire with Y/N on the daily, only in the confines of his own mind. But he never dared to cross it. He never dared to let that dream of desire fester into reality. Until now.

Y/N nodded but she made no move to leave, eyes roaming Kaz's face. She was committing him to her memory, all the sharp edges of his face and the soft cushions of his lips.

Though she might never get to touch this jagged edged masterpiece, at this moment it was hers to admire. For this moment, he was hers.

Kaz reached behind her and Y/N held her breath as he untied the white ribbon holding her hair together. Y/N watched in fascination as Kaz wrapped the ribbon around his two fingers, the white silk of her ribbon was a stark contrast against the black leather of his gloves.

With the thick ribbon wrapped around his pointer and middle finger, Kaz tapped Y/N’s bottom lip, making her gasp and stop her abuse on her lip and release it from between her teeth.

The touch was gone as soon as it came and all Y/N could do was stare at him, wide-eyed. Kaz made no move to step away, "You are not going to make reckless decisions again, understand?"

“Yes,” Y/N nodded dumbly, feeling a blush creep up her cheeks. She felt lightheaded and delusional. She reached back and placed a hand on Kaz’s desk so as to not stumble and fall into him.

That would be very, very bad. And it would break whatever fragile thing had blossomed between them. Though this time, she had a feeling he might just catch her, if only with his cane and silk ribbons on his fingers.

"You are not allowed to leave me, little bird" Kaz stroked the ends of her unbound hair that had fallen around her shoulders. His rough voice sent a shiver down her spine.

"I won't" Y/N mumbled, eyes shining bright with words she couldn’t say yet, "Promise"

Kaz’s lips turned up into a faint outline of a smirk, “Good girl”

#kaz brekker x reader #six of crows x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker imagine

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tomssexdoll · 17 days

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I HAVE A REQUEST its a 2010 tom/bill smut but its from his point of view.. so like his thoughts and how horny he is and how hot y/n is etc it can be all rough bc hes jealous or smth idk and in the end its all sweet and hes just so in love with her and stuff :) LOVE UR WRITING BTW

SUREEE!!! TY FOR THE SUPPORT LOVELY MWAH

PAIRINGS: Bill 2010 x Female reader CONTENT: A LIL BIT OF ANGST + SMUT + FLUFF SYPNOSIS: Bill is getting a little bit jealous of the amount of time you're spending with a certain friend, he thinks they are tearing apart your relationship and confronts you when you get home from a night out with them, but you solve things and y/n reminds Bill that he's the only one that she wants, easing his mind. A/N: SORRY IF THIS ISN'T HOW U IMAGINED IT IT'S JUST HOW I DID WARNINGS: dom!bill, reader!sub, jerking off, kissing

I waited for Y/N to come home, she was out with one of her new friends and they were spending a lot of time together, I've always had this weird feeling about them, they are just so sketchy and kinda flirty with y/n and it makes me so mad.

I do admit I have jealously issues and sometimes it can interfere with her friendships but I can't help it, she's so perfect, who wouldn't want to be with her?

I tried to tell myself I was overthinking but I just couldn't brush the thought that they were doing something to her, loving her better then I do, kissing her better, fucking her better.

Then suddenly I heard the door open, I didn't notice y/n had arrived home because I was so buried in my thoughts. I got up and kissed her head softly, pondering about whether I should confront her. I took a deep breath in and turned her around "y/n..I don't like the friend you just hung out with.." I mumbled, her face dropped and she rolled her eyes "yeah you never like any of my friends, it's always i'm spending too much time with them or i'm standing too close to them" she pushed me off and sighed, walking off.

I groaned "well maybe I wouldn't think that if you weren't so touchy with them!" she scoffed "touchy? what you mean hugging them? Bill am I not allowed to hug them now?"

"I..no.." I hesitated but she interrupted me "no! I'm sick of you letting your jealously issues get to you! it's not fair for me" she choked out a sob and stormed off, slamming the bedroom door.

I angrily sighed, all my emotions hitting me like a truck, going towards the bedroom and knocking softly "baby..please" she yelled back "no!" "fine if you want to be stubborn then be stubborn but I'm not putting up with it" I barged in, seeing her sitting on the edge of the bed, arms crossed and eyes narrowing at me.

"You're so possessive Bill, it's too much for me" she sneered, "well I wouldn't have to be if your friends weren't so touchy and weird with you!" I said, my voice slightly raising, she rubbed her temples in frustration "i'm sick of having this conversation over and over again, sit down, now" she ordered, my eyes widened a little bit at her dominance and I obliged, sitting down next to her.

She got up and sat on my lap, caressing my cheek "why are you always so worried Bill, have I ever done anything to betray your trust?" I shook my head "no..I guess not, it's just..you know how i get baby" I sighed and looked deeply into her eyes. She leaned in and kissed me softly "exactly so you have nothing to worry about, i've told you countless of times that I don't want anyone else but you Bill and it's true, it hasn't changed from the last 10 times i've told you" she sighed and buried her face into my neck, kissing it gently.

She was slightly grinding on me, I could tell she was trying to tease me and a smirk tugged at my lips, "I'll prove it to you..i'll make you feel good.." she whispered sensually in my ear and tugged at my jeans, trying to get them off.

I helped her and slid them off, along with my boxers too.

I moaned softly as she gripped my cock, slowly pumping it with her beautiful hands, "you're the only one I want Bill" she whispered in my ear as she picked up the pace, jerking my cock faster.

"Mmh.." I groaned as she rubbed her thumb over my sensitive tip, grabbing onto her hips tightly, "keep going..fuck.." I whispered, closing my eyes and letting out a loud moan. Enjoying the feeling of her small hands on my cock.

She started to pump harder, kissing my neck as she did and softly sucking the skin, leaving little love bites everywhere. "I love you so much Bill..i'm not gonna leave you so easily" she whispered softly, easing my nerves. I nodded and kept my eyes shut, biting my lip roughly as she rubbed her thumb over my sensitive tip again.

"Shit..love you so much baby" I mumbled, my grip on her hips tightening, digging my nails and leaving marks on the skin. She groaned softly at the pain, smashing her lips into mine and pumping faster "cum for me.." she mumbled against my lips, I felt tension building up in my stomach, signalling my soon to be climax.

Her pace was rough and fast, it hurt a little but it felt so good at the same time, the way her hands fit just perfectly around my cock, it was like they were made for me. Like we were meant to be together.

She was such a beautiful girl, so kind and loving, I hated that my issues got to me most of the time but that reassurance she'd gladly give me was the best part of her, the fact that she'd never give up on me so easily.

"G'nna cum baby..fuck.." I groaned, bucking my hips into her hands, she smirked and I came, shooting my cum onto her hands and arm. She went to the bathroom and washed her hands, coming back and sitting on my lap again, "see, I told you I love you and only YOU" she frowned slightly "I don't know why you never believe me", I winced slightly at her pain "baby..I don't know either..but i'm sorry i'm trying my best to be better" pushing a strand of hair away from her face.

I held the back of her head with one hand and leaned in, kissing her sweetly, our lips moving together perfectly. "I'll always love you, always be there for you" she smiled, I looked into her eyes, searching for any signs of deceit but all that was there was sincerity and pure love for me, I sighed in relief and kissed her again.

"I'm so in love with you y/n, you're perfect" I pulled away, tracing her curves softly, she giggled, that giggle that I love, the one that could make anyone who was upset, smile. She was all I needed.

#tom kaulitz #tokiohotel #bill kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schäfer #bill kaulitz x female reader #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz x y/n #bill kaulitz x you #bill kaulitz smut #bill kaulitz angst #bill kaulitz fluff #i love bill kaulitz #jerkingit

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mustainegf · 17 days

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hi! I was wondering if you could do an angst/smut with mop Era james? Like reader and james are friends and she gets upset with him being with groupies and she finally tells him how she feels one night during an argument and then it leads to them having rough sex?

First of all, I love the non-anonymous confidence

And when I tell you I screamed when I read this, how do you come up with something this good…

I was in a particularly bad mood today.

James was off being an asshole rockstar, yet I still came to his shows, showed him all the support in the world. It was getting on my nerves.

Why did I do it? Maybe because I was stubborn, told myself it would be fine. Or maybe it was the feeling I got deep in my stomach whenever he looked at me. It was all stupid, I mean, my best friend? Really?

And that's what happened when I arrived in his dressing room tonight. I walked in, and there he was, kissing some sleazy chick on the cheek and shooing her away and out the same door I had just walked through. I hated groupies.

James watched me with a dumb smile for a second, but mine was stone cold serious. "You're pathetic, James," I shook my head as I stared back.

He shrugged and kept smiling like he wasn't the one who had been kissing some random girl.

"What do you want me to do about it huh? I ain't gonna turn down sex," he grinned. How did he not fully understand that these ladies were crazy?

"This is what I mean, James," I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms.

"They are groupies, they don't care, their only mission is to get into your pants." He shook his head like this was some sort of game. "Whatever, I'm tired of you sleeping around," I snapped, a bit louder than before.

"Oh please, get the fuck over it. I don't see why it's your problem anyways." James' tone had switched to sharp and lethal, now stabbing back at me.

He stood up, looking more frustrated now. "It's my problem because you make it my problem! All I ever hear about is these sluts!" I retorted.

I knew it sounded ridiculous. It was him I didn't want in the hands of another woman, but the more he went around doing that, the more jealousy started to bubble up inside me. I hated it.

"Well, grow the fuck up, then," he snarled, throwing his hands in the air. "God, do you know how many women try to come after me?" He stopped pacing and turned to me. "And you expect me to just say no?"

His voice cracked and I could tell he was angry.

Angry at me. "All you ever do is fuck around with these whores! It's gross." I shot him a disgusted look.

"Why the fuck are you so pissed about this?" James shook his head, he had daggers for eyes and they were carving into my skull.

"That sex doesn't mean shit to me, it's meaningless. So I don't get why you have your panties in a knot," he added.

Without thinking about my words, they had already been thrown back at him. "Because I like you, James!" I shouted. And I did. "And all you do it fuck these groupies and toss me to the side!"

The veins on his neck popped out, and his jaw clenched. James was turning red. This was a mistake. "You what?" He asked, now taken aback.

I didn't respond, I was too embarrassed of what I had admitted. I'd sworn to never tell him.

"And you're jealous of the groupies?" He smirked down at me. Well shit, I hadn't made things much better.

My lack of an answer prompted his next movements. James reached past me, swiftly shutting the door and locking it.

"Ja-" before I could finish, he motioned to the opposite side of the room. "On the couch. Now." He demanded.

I was shocked, and slightly turned on by the tone of his voice. "What'd I tell you?" He said darkly.

I complied, stepping over to the couch. I looked back at him, waiting for his response. I had followed close behind, watching me like a hawk.

"Don't act stupid. Turn around," he smirked.

That word alone should have put me on edge, but it did the exact opposite. For whatever reason, it did something to me. I slowly turned around, planting my hands against the back of the couch.

"Jealous of the groupies huh? You think I give them good sex? No. I'll show you what I don't give 'em." His dominant words made the warmth between my legs flutter.

"Keep your hands there." He ordered. As if I would have moved them anyway. His heavy footsteps approached. My heart skipped a beat.

I knew he was going to touch me. I wanted him to.

The way he was standing there, his chest heaving, told me how wound up he was. A shudder ran through me. Before I knew it, his hand cupped my ass and he squeezed.

God, his large hand was so perfect. It felt amazing.

I let out a small moan. "So sensitive, huh?" He teased. "You think I didn't want to do this? Of course you've gotta tease me with these tight fuckin jeans all the time.."

He chuckled lowly, both his hands grazing down my waist. "You know I pretend to fuck you whenever I'm with a groupie?" He ran a hand down my back.

I shivered at his touch. "You think I haven't wanted to make you mine since I met you?" His words were only arousing me more.

James reached around my hips, unbuttoning my jeans.

He hastily pulled them down, exposing my white laced panties.

I wiggled when he got them off, kicking my feet free from them. "Fuck, you're sexy," James growled.

He wasted no time, pulling my shirt up my torso. I let him have his way. I couldn't help it. If he wanted to undress me, I wouldn't fight it. I needed this.

Hell, I needed everything from him.

He stood back up, taking in every inch of me. The look in his eyes... he wanted to devour me. He wasn't done yet either. Next came my bra. He easily peeled it off, letting it drop to the floor, along with my jeans.

I was completely bare, except for my sneakers and socks, which I was already kicking off. I Looked back at him as he took in the sight of my body. He had this look on his face. Like he was starving.

Before I knew it, his hand came down on my ass, leaving a red sting. "All for me," James snarled.

"James.." I let out a breathy moan.

I felt so exposed, James was still completely dressed.

I Loved that he was in control. At least for now.

When I heard the sound of the zipper, my breath caught. "I'll make you regret ever yelling at me. I bet you'd like that huh? Good you're such a dirty girl..." he scoffed.

But his words sent shivers down my spine. Just the thought of James doing all these things to me was enough to send me spiraling.

"Put that mouth to use, say something. Maybe then I'll think about giving you what you want," he panted. Just as he spoke I could feel him slap his cock over my ass. My legs were already a trembling mess.

"You want it, don't you? Admit it," he bit out. "Yes. Yes please," I blurted. "That's it, say it again." He demanded. "Please, I want it."

"Louder, who do you want?" he growled. "I want you!"

James laughed softly. "I bet you say that shit when you touch yourself yeah?" He teased my opening with his tip, running it through my soaking folds, making me flinch.

"You think I talk to those other sluts like this?" He pushed just the tip into me, forcing a throaty moan out of me. "No... because you're mine, my slut."

He growled. He pushed into me again, this time going deeper. I couldn't contain my cry anymore. I threw my head back, letting my emotions run wild.

I needed this. Needed him. I needed James to fill me.

"Deeper James.." I begged him softly, my face smushed into the back of the couch.

"Like this?" he murmured, as he started to thrust. "Yes! Please." I cried.

"God, you're tight," he groaned, bottoming out.

I whimpered. This was so much better than my fingers. So much better than anything. I never would have imagined I would enjoy being taken like this. "Holy fuck, you feel good," he moaned.

His fingers found my clit, and he began rubbing in small circles. "Oh, God yes!" He pounded mercilessly. It hurt, but it was a good kind of pain.

His Rough and calloused hands squeezed hard on the flesh of my ass. "That's it baby.."

he cooed. His voice alone sent shivers down my spine. "Come on, I can feel you getting wetter," he rasped.

"Let me hear those pretty noises. How about that, hmm?" he taunted me. "Scream for me. Make everyone in this building know you're mine."

I could hardly form a thought, all I could focus on was the feeling of his veiny length stretching me to my limit. "James!" I screamed. It almost sounded pornographic.

In that moment, I became someone else. Someone reckless, daring, and desperate for more. The only thing that mattered was how he made me feel. It was that simple.

"Fuck, you're so wet," he grunted. "Yeah, scream for me. Let go of all those pent-up feelings. Come on, show me what a good little slut you are." I let out a low guttural moan.

"Harder James... I'm gonna cum!" I pleaded, my mind fraying.

"That's it, cum for me, let go." He groaned. "Cum for me." I was at his mercy, he had me at his will.

"James!" I screamed, my entire body tensing.

I came undone at the seams. My walls pulsated around him, milking his shaft. "Fuck!" he yelled.

"Yes!" He shouted as he buried himself deep inside of me. I collapsed at the feeling, but James caught me, holding me to his bare chest as he finished.

I could feel him painting my insides, claiming every inch of me as his own. "James.." I whispered, laying my head back on his shoulder. I buried my hand in his long blonde hair, a few strands sticking to the sweat on his face.

We sat there breathing heavily, I could feel his seed drip out of me as he pulled out. "You know I love you right?" James smiled awkwardly at me.

"I do now," I said in a breathy tone. "And I love you too." A Dark pink crept to his cheeks as he looked at me.

"You promise not to sleep with groupies anymore?" I chuckled softly.

"Why would I fuck a groupie when I have you baby?"

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xetswan · 2 months

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Switch Of Daylight- Forgive

(Alice x Reader x Jasper)

[Eleven] [Twelve] [Thirteen]

(I’m remodeling my chapters. Not story wise just the look of everything)

"Werewolves are not vicious." Bella tells Alice as she's making herself hot chocolate. Alice is pacing in the room as I sit at the table.

I stare at the ground. Alice and I still haven't truly acknowledged each other. "Until they lose their tempers." She argues.

"They saved me from Laurent with [Name]. They're protecting us from Victoria." My sister informs her, the vampire seems shocked. "Victoria? I didn't see her? I didn't see you get pulled from the water either by [Name]." Alice says my name hesitantly, carefully side glancing as me when it leaves her mouth.

"She saved me, Jacob was there seconds after. I wouldn't have made it without him. You have no idea what it was like." Bella frowns.

"Yes. I do. I knew leaving wouldn't be good for you. I tried to tell Edward, but he wouldn't listen." She responds, my chest tenses up. She knew.

She knew about Bella that means she knew about me. My skin begins to tingle as anger grows inside of me.

Thoughts racing, practically bouncing off the walls in my head. "Does he know you're here?" I hear my sister ask but it's muffled. Everything's muffled. I begin to take breaths as if I need it.

"No. He's been... away..."

I stand up angrily, forcing myself from the scene. Accidentally slamming the chair back, breaking it. I don't care enough to apologize as I just leave the house. My body shakes from the anger I'm feeling. My skin feels like it's on fire.

I remember how anger triggers this feeling, attempting to calm myself it cools down but definitely still there. I hold myself, confused on what to do so I sit on the ground. Thinking everything over.

Hours pass I didn't even realize it, a door opens behind me and I figure it's just Alice going to her car to leave or something so I stay quiet. "Can we talk?" She sits across from me, I didn't even realize she got in front of me. I suck in a deep breath. Let's get this over with I guess.

I glance up at her, my head still facing down. "Go ahead." I say.

"I got your calls." She whispers, a pang hits my heart. She got them and never responded. She admitted to it. How... why? I stay quiet. "I... couldn't answer." She continues. Now I'm looking at her. "You hurt me, [Name]." She tells me, this is where I roll my eyes in response.

"[Name] please, you admitted to not trusting my family, to not trusting Jasper and I!" She slightly raises her voice to which I shake my head, putting a finger up to stop her.

"Alice, stop talking." I warn her. I feel my body start to hurt, it felt like the muscle sores I got after having a panic attack as a human. "I just need you to understand I was upset with you. I didn't-" I cut her off but standing up.

"Alice, enough." I attempt to warn her again. She follows suit, stepping closer to me. I didn't move an inch. As much as I wanted Alice and Jasper back this... this is not how I wanted it to be. "[Name], I'm sorry..."

It falls silent around us, she takes it as a sign to step closer. I don't move but I do flinch. Not out of fear that she'd hurt me but realization that I need to back away.

I need this conversation to end before I blow up and say things I don't mean. "Will you forgive me?" She asks me, my eyes glance at her then away from her.

"Alice stop this conversation please." Instead, she touches my arm which shocks it. Her eyebrows furrowed and I hiss in pain. The warmth now covering over it. "Are you okay? That's never happened before." Her face is full of worry and confusion and I hold my arm but my feet haven't moved from its placement.

"Alice!" I abruptly shout, she jumps from surprise. Obviously not expecting me to raise my voice like this.

"I need you to leave me alone! You did it for months, start doing it again!" I glare at her, finally backing away from her.

"Do you not understand what you did to me? I begged you guys to understand that I couldn't leave. Something you I guess didn't even want to do. As you said to Bella. My sister. And treated me like shit because of it. Then knowing I was going to find out about the prophecy b.s, you guys never once checked up on me. I called hundreds of times. Scared out of my mind because I was told that I could change into some monster! Something that even you would try to kill. So yeah, I'm angry with you. And no I don't think I'm forgiving you any time soon." I yell in her face, she doesn't move away from me. Taking it all as I scream in anger.

Then the pain I felt before gets a little worse. Dragging me down a little bit. I take a breath, something that's been needed more frequently. "And tell Jasper he's just as bad." I spat, before collecting myself and going back into my house to leave Alice with what I said.

I see Bella on the top of the stairs but I ignore it, heading straight to my room. Falling down on my bed, barely missing it as the pain really sets in as the adrenaline leaves my body. I begin to start shivering.

Now cold...

I lazily drag the covers over my body as I feel myself get weaker. What's happening to me?

I know what's happening I just am fighting it. I'm in denial. It can't happen.

I close my eyes, I didn't fall asleep. I just laid there thinking everything over.

I didn't leave my room, or my bed. I heard my door open to different people each time checking in on me. My dad doing it the most. I told him I didn't feel good and he just understood. I apologized to him about Harry to which there was just a sad silence.

I heard him apologize to Bella about her not being able to come since they wanted the service small. Then him leaving and Alice questioning her about it.

Moments pass and I hear Jacob outside. "Huh. Didn't see him with you guys at the water. Maybe my visions allergic to dogs." Alice mercilessly says. It hurts me as I'm probably going to turn partly into one. "Alice..." Bella sighs out. "I'll do some hunting." She says, leaving the house.

It's not only Jacob that's approaching the house, it's Embry and Quil too. "Quil... you too?" Bella asks.

"Yeah. Me, too." Quil aggressively responds. I hear Jake get out of the vehicle they were in. "You alone?"

"Yes, well [Name]'s in her room. She hasn't left it since Alice got here." Bella informs him. "Shouldn't you be at the funeral?" She changes the subject.

"Had to talk to you first." He then tells the guys to go on and he'll meet them there.

The vehicle drives away. They enter the house, now it's a lot better to hear them. "Look, Jake. I'm sorry I-"

"This place stinks to hell, even more than when it's just [Name]." You could tell he was joking more about me, I roll my eyes.

"You're welcome to leave. In fact-" "How many Cullens are here and how long are they staying?" He cuts her off with the question. "Just Alice. And she'll stay as long as she wants." She snaps back. If I wasn't so angry with Alice I'd back her up but I want nothing more than for her to leave. Her voice to leave my mind. "Are the rest coming back?"

"Not that I'm aware of. Anything else?" Bella's getting irritated. "That's it."

"Better go report to Sam." Bella tells him, I can feel his emotions for some reason but then he goes from annoyed to beat. Disappointed with himself. "I've done it again. I keep breaking my promise not to hurt you." He says to her. "It doesn't have to be this way." My sister pleads.

"Yeah it does."

"Am I gonna lose you this time, Jacob?" She questions. "It was easier when we were human, wasn't it?" Then it grows quiet. I want to know what's happening but at the same time I can hear their heartbeats enough to know I'm better off where I am. The phone rings, and their heart beats begin to go back to normal. Sort of.

"swan residence." Jacob answered the phone. I hear a familiar voice. "He's not here. He's at a funeral."

Jacob's voice goes cold and I immediately know who it was. Jacob hangs up the phone.

"Filthy bloodsucker." He mutters.

"Wait, who was it?" Bella asks, I squeeze my eyes shut. "Dr. Carlisle Cullen." He lies.

"You should have let me talk to him." She says. "He didn't ask for you."

"Step away from me Bella."

I guess this is where I should come in as well. I take a breath, standing up from the bed. Taking the energy from the house to build up my own. The pain slowly went away last night but I can still feel it in my chest. "Alice, what's wrong?" She turns to the vampire.

"Edward.."

"what about him? What happened?" Bella panics. "I just saw him in a vision. He thinks you're dead." Worry covers my- Alice's face. "That was him calling, not Carlisle." Bella realizes. "Bella, he's going to Italy... tot he Volturi." Alice announces.

No moments pass where Bella is packing her clothes. Now just Alice and I in the room. We hear Bella and Jacob upstairs as he pleads with her not to go. "Your transformation... it's starting?" She asks me, I look up at her and shrug.

"You care now? Or do I have to have Bella jump off a cliff again for that?" I stare at her, emotionless. I walk up the stairs. "Alice has the tickets. Let's go." I tell Bella. "Those Cullens might hunt animals but those monsters in Italy don't." Jacob squares up with me.

"We're well aware of what the Volturi are." Alice joins us. "Then why are you taking Bella to them like a bottle of wine to a party." He quizzes. "Right, she's better off here with Victoria stalking her. The one you dogs can't seem to catch?"

Jacob growls, a shudder going through him. Bella steps in front of us, stopping him from morphing. "Let's go." Bella takes us, leading outsides.

Alice and I get in the car, I sit in the back on purpose even though Bella was going to. Jacob catches her arm before she can enter though. "please, Bella. Stay here. For Charlie... for me." He begs with her, she hugs him in response.

"Bye, Jacob." She climbs in the Mercedes. I notice the visible agony he has. Bella goes to pull her seat belt on but then Alice stops her. "Maybe Jacob's right." My sister tries to cut her off.

"No, you need to realize the Volturi could easily see me as Edward's accomplice. And you're a human who knows too much and tastes too good. They could kill us all." All Bella responds with is clipping her seatbelt in. Alice sees she won't change her mind so she shifts the gear and drives.

The drive to the airport, I repeatedly catch Alice staring at me. Only to get a straight face in return. Even the flight grew awkward.

Alice and I steal a yellow Porsche with dark tinted windows as we both can't be seen in the sunlight. She wears a hooded coat as I wear a cowboy hat and long sleeves. "Where'd you get the car?" Bella questions as she gets in the car with us. "Hope you're not opposed to grand theft auto." Alice says. "Not today."

Then she floors it as Bella is in it.

The car flies down the highway.

This is a little short but it’s because the last chapter is about to be very long. Might be out to tomorrow. I’m working on it tonight but I know for a fact I’m gonna pass out before I finish it lol.

Masterlist

A&J M.L.

Taglist: if you want to be added lmk!

@stevenandmarcslove

@steh-lar-uh-nuhs

@kisekihany

@aureliacorvina

@l3ejm

@marit332

@marsyay78

@sugathy

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yelenasdiary · 9 months

Note

“Please put it down” with Natasha x reader please. Do you want me to send more?

-🐚

From Another Life

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Hydra! Reader

Summary: After years of searching the Black Widow finally found you..

AC: Thank you for sending this! I hope you enjoy! X Please know that the human trafficking isn’t in a sexual manner.

Natasha looked down the barrel of your gun before her eyes traveled to meet yours. The person she once knew all those years ago was nothing more than a ghost from her past, she saw that now. "Y/n, please, I'm not here to hurt you" she spoke softly seeing your jaw clench at the sound of her voice.

"How do you know my name?" You demand to know. It almost broke the assassin's heart knowing you were looking at her and you didn't recognise her one little bit. Looking at you she could see the scars of the life you lead, the emptiness in your eyes only made her wonder what on earth did they do to you to make you so cold, so emotionless.

"I've been looking for you, for a very long time" the red head admits but not even as much as a twitch came from you as a reaction. "Who the fuck sent you?!" you snapped, stepping closer towards her with your gun tightly in your grip ready to take her life at any moment. Natasha shook her head, "nobody sent me. I sent myself, I promised you I would come for you, and I wouldn't stop until you were safe" the red head explained.

"Look, I don't know who you are or what you think you know about me but you're crazy! I've never met you in my entire life"

As smart as Natasha was and the skills she knew she had, she put all of that side and put her trust into you in hopes that it would show you that she wasn't a threat. Carefully she raises her hand to your gun, "please, put it down" she spoke while keeping strong eye contact with you, "I'll tell you everything" she adds.

Curiosity got the better of you after a long moment of silence was shared. If this woman was sent to kill you, she would've made her move by now, right? So, you lowered your gun and placed it back in your holster. "I ask the questions and you place your weapons on that bench over there" you spoke sternly, Natasha nodded at your words and placed her weapons on the rusted metal bench.

"What's your name?" You asked, keeping an eye on her every movement like you'd been trained to do.

"Natasha Romanoff" She answered with confidence, but you weren't in the mood for the basic and decided to jump straight into things.

"How do you know me? Because your name means nothing to me"

If Natasha wasn't a trained assassin, those words would've made her tear up in front of you and although it hurt her deep down, she couldn't blame you for nothing knowing who she was. It wasn't your fault.

"We were in Red Room together, we were close. You told me that General Dreykov found you in an alley way huddled in a cardboard box fort that you built to keep cover from the harsh weather. You told me that you were grateful for him bring you back to us, this was before you were well enough to be to be subjugated to Dreykov's mind control. Years went by you became the top of your class and more, to Dreykov, you were a prized possession and a beautiful check. He sold you to Hydra, when you found out you were leaving, I promised you that I would come find you and I wouldn't stop until I found you" Natasha explained.

Not a single word she said rang any kind of bell for you, even trying to think back to the times she spoke about it was nothing but darkness, not a single light or memory flashed through your mind.

"I know you don't remember, and I can only assume that's Hydra's doing but I can prove all of this" Natasha broke the silence.

"Yeah? How so?' you asked not battering an eye at the red head.

Natasha slowly rolled up the sleeve of her suit before bringing her wrist up to your eyesight. Just below her wrist was the first letter of your name scared into her skin, it was small but it triggered something for you as you pulled up your own sleeve, still not taking an eye of the red head in front of you. Quickly, you looked down and saw the N scared into your own skin. You always wondered why you had that and how it got there.

"Tell me the story" you spoke with a shift in your tone.

"It was your idea, you said that I was the only person who you felt truly understood you and you never wanted to forget me" she smiled softly, "you said that every time we saw it, we'd always remember each other and no matter where we were, we would always be one another" Natasha could see by the look in your eyes that you remember something and to her luck it was enough for you find trust in her that she was who she said she was and that everything she had said was true.

"I-I don't recall any of this but it seems familiar" you admitted with a frown, racking your brain for more memories. Natasha closed the gap between you both, gently placing a hand on your shoulder, "I know but if you let me, I'll help you. My team and I can free you and you can have any life you want, nobody watching your every move or controlling what you do, I promise you that you'll be safe"

You took a moment to think, this woman you barely know but somehow knew in another life didn't break her first promise so why would she break the second? You saw something familiar in her eyes as you looked at her and you knew you needed to know more so you agreed to go with her. The red head smiled softly at you before safely leading you to the jet she arrived in.

#fanfiction #marvel #natasha romanoff #natahsa romanoff x reader #black widow

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apocalypseornaw · 5 months

Text

A Memory or Me (Pt 3/3)

Sam Winchester x Reader

You and Sam finally talk

You and the boys were in a motel in Corpus Christi Texas. You'd helped Garth wrap up a hunt in New Mexico a few days before and was actually without an active case.

Sam had wanted two adjoining rooms but when the receptionist told you there was one room left you took it. At least it had two beds.

“Sure you don't want Sam to share with you?” You asked Dean from where you sat cross legged in the center of one of the beds. You and him both had already showered and was just waiting for Sam to get out.

He'd been laying down but sat up at your words “Did something happen?” You shook your head and he didn't seem convinced “You've been acting off since we were at Bobby's. Now are you gonna tell me while it's just us or should I keep pushing until Sam joins us too?”

You shouldn't admit it to Dean, you knew that yet once he asked the truth spilled out of you “I love him Dean and I heard the two of you talking at Bobby's. He doesn't love me because I'm not soft and gentle. I can't compete with a ghost Dean. I won't” you tried not to let tears escape but when the first few fell Dean was on his feet pulling you up into a hug “Come on now Y/N. It's not like that I swear”

After a moment you pulled back to look up at him “He told her he loved her five months in. We're now at thirteen months. I never should've thought I could compete with a memory. I've tried to tone myself down, not be as much but it's not working. I can't keep doing this”

____________

About that time the bathroom door opened. You looked back to see Sam standing there looking between you and his brother “What's going on?” You could see a flash of possible jealousy in his she's until Dean dropped his arms from around you and said“She's upset. I was checking on her”

Sam nodded and looked at you “Baby, why are you upset” “It's stupid” you tried but Dean cut his eyes at you “No its not”

You begged him with your eyes to let it go but instead he blurted out “She thinks you don't love her” Sam's eyes flicked from Dean to you so fast it was damn near comical “What?”

“You two are gonna talk. I'm gonna go sleep in baby” Dean announced. “That's not fair to you” you told him trying to avoid the hurt you saw in Sam's eyes but he shook his head “No, you and Sam are the most important people to me. Figure it out I'll see you come morning”

You watched him walk out then turned back towards Sam. He motioned at the door “So are you gonna talk to me or just my older brother?” You took a deep breath “I know you don't love me because I'm not housewife material. I'm not Jess” “Is that what you think?”

You nodded feeling tears spring to your eyes. Damn you never cried like this. Sam was quickly in front of you pulling you into his arms “Don’t cry baby please”

You buried your face into his chest. You loved him so damn much it hurt “I love you Sam but I know I won't ever compare to Jess” he gently pulled you back from his chest and leaned down just enough to look you in the eyes “You're right. You're nothing like Jess”

A few more tears slipped free of your eyes and he quickly brushed them away “But I don't want you to be like Jess. Yeah I loved her but not the way I love you and by the way I do love you Y/N. You make me so damn happy. After her, I thought I was done. That I'd never let anyone in ever again. But you...you walked right in without even knocking. And I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Yes you're a hurricane but I don't mean that badly. I mean you're strong, you're unpredictable, you're beautiful and deadly when pushed but you're gentle in your own way. How you help the vics after hunts, the way you make sure Bobby's house is clean and he has meals in the freezer any time we go through. The way you make sure me and Dean eat regularly and drink actual water sometimes. You're the perfect balance in this insane life of mine and you make it so much better. I love you please don't ever doubt that”

You knew he was being genuine from the look in his eyes. He was panicked that you wouldn't believe him and hurting that you'd thought that to begin with “Will you just kiss me Sam?” The smile that slipped onto his face was nothing short of gorgeous “Never think you have to ask me just tell me to kiss you” then he pulled you into a kiss.

The next morning Sam was half asleep when he heard the door of the motel open and quickly pulled the blanket up over your bare body before glaring at Dean who stood in the doorway with a broad grin “I see you two made up” “Get out Dean” he warned but Dean simply laughed “I'm gonna go pick up breakfast”

The door shut behind Dean and Sam looked down to see you looking up at him “He's an ass but means well” he nodded “He's forgiven because once again he pushed us to where we need to be” you laughed lightly “One day He's gonna cash in on us owing him” Sam laughed and pulled you into a kiss “That's for another day. I love you” you smiled “I love you too. Now let's go grab a quick shower before he gets back with food”

@lacilou @fullbelieverheart @prettydeaneyes

#sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x female reader #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfiction #a memory or me mini series

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pynkricee · 2 months

Text

Blood In Your Hands Part 2

🤍The ChoGo Love Story 🤍

After hiding her identity to a strange man named Choso Kamo, KyiGo finally started to realize how important Choso is becoming in her life. The love and connection they start to share will determine if her life is worth sacrificing for him.

Art by AliyahArtss on Instagram 🤍

After about a fifteen minute walk, this Cayla finally led me back to her home. I was surprised as I walked in by the home, which was a mix between modern and cozy with an older-style vibe to it. As I walked through the living room area, my eyes seemed to dart around everything. I couldn't help it. I was curious.

After taking our shoes off and placing them by the door, she decided to lead me upstairs to show me her room. Which was a cozy yet somewhat messy space that seemed to reflect her personality. I traced my hands against the curved wallpaper that was placed smoothly on the walls as we walked to the room next to hers. It was a spare room, with a small, yet comfortable looking bed that could fit two people. It was laced with satin black sheets and black curtains that covered the windows. “This is where you'll be sleeping tonight. If that's okay with you..” she said to me in a low tone, as she opened the door wider for me to get a better view.

I walked into the room reviewing every inch of it before I turned to her and nodded quietly. It was a small space, but I had to admit it looked comfortable and warm. A bit of a contrast to the overall dark feel of the house.

As I looked over to her, I was almost shocked by how much trust you were placing in me to be here with you. I was a dangerous person, but only I knew that and even if she noticed that about me, especially by the smell of blood she sniffed on me earlier, it didn't phase her.

“Thank you for trusting me.. I promise.. nothing bad will happen.” I whispered to you as I looked down at the floor, almost in disbelief that you still trusted me like this.

She giggled slightly at my remark. “I didn't think anything bad ‘Would’ happen. I was just being a nice person and helping someone who needed it.”

I nodded as I could feel my expression on my face softening a little. “I have a question for you.. if you don't mind..”

I notice her eyebrow lift as if I didn't ask enough questions already. “Sure.. what is it?”

At this exact moment.. I was hella nervous. I ended up shifting my weight a little bit before speaking.

“If you don't mind, why are you letting me stay with you..? I asked, looking at her with genuine curiosity.

“Like I said before… I saw someone who really needed it. I saw a man who needed somebody. I mean.. what else was I supposed to do?” I could see the look on her face start to turn into pure guilt by what would have happened if she had just left me at the park. That was the last thing I wanted her to feel. But I could feel my eyes widen and my chest flutter at the same time. Even If she didn't spell out exactly what she meant, I caught her drift.

Without saying anything more to her, I stepped forward and gently placed both hands on her cheeks. I then leaned my head forward and slowly brushed my lips against hers. This time I noticed her eyes close, as the kiss was gentle and soft. I wanted to show how appreciative I was of you and this was the only way I could think of doing it.

I opened my eyes to notice hers were still closed, as they then slowly began to open.

She was the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. I felt like this moment was literally going in slow motion as I pulled my face from her. Her dark skin with a light hue. Her beautiful thick lips that felt like the most gentle pillows you could ever lay your head over. And there was something dark about her aura that drew me into her. I couldn't quite seem to pull myself away, nor did I want to.

I noticed her deep brown eyes flutter as she stared at me in mine. “I'm sorry.. Cayla.. it's just.. I couldn't help myself…” I whispered softly as my thumb started to caress her right cheek. In that split second, she closed her eyes again, leaning in kissing me back softly. I could feel my breath being to hitch in my chest as my eyes stayed open as I returned the kiss.

The kiss was soft and short as she swiftly broke it and looked back up at me. I couldn't help but smile as I pulled back, my gaze and my attention fully on you. I could feel my heart speed up as I let go of your cheeks and stepped back to give you some space. Being cautious not to take this any further than where it was already going.

“What.. was that for?” she whispered, her body language now being more calm as she stood in front of me. Her face was just as red as the shade of lipstick that covered her lips. I could feel my face warm up as you looked directly at me. I had to turn my face away from her to keep my urges from persuading me to go any further.

I quickly crossed my arms and slightly turned my body to the side. “ I.. just …felt that I should show you.. how thankful I am..” I was definitely trying to keep my emotions under control at this point but I could feel that rush that I was having toward you and I still couldn't fully understand why. Why was this happening to me? And with a human? A human woman at that..

“Do you think.. it's strange?”

She then gave me the strangest look as if she wanted to burst out into laughter. I could feel my head leaning back as my lips sneered on the side of my mouth, ready for the disappointment of her answer.

She then let out the cutest laugh, looking me directly in the eyes, placing her hands on her thick hips. “Ha! It is strange. Usually a hand shake would do. You must be drawn to my lips to keep wanting to kiss me the way you do.”

I couldn't help but blush and take another step back again, letting out a small sigh. “I know.. but.. your lips are just so beautiful.” I responded with a slight nervous edge to my voice. Dropping my hands to my sides. At this point, I couldn't keep my emotions under control as I could feel my breathing speed up tremendously.

“Well thank you Choso. I'm going to get some things ready for you to take a shower, okay? You can stay here if you want and make yourself comfortable before I come back.” I nodded as she then finally walked out the room disappearing into the hallway.

I wanted to keep looking at you , but I knew that might be inappropriate. Standing in the room, I turned the light on and closed the bedroom door behind me and sat gently on the bed. I leaned back and took a deep breath as I thought about how beautiful red lips were and the feeling of kissing you. I then threw my head back and looked up at the ceiling.

“What the hell is wrong with me?” I whispered in a low tone to myself. “I'm a death womb, a curse created for the soul purpose of killing and I'm in a woman's house, kissing her… and wanting to do it again..” I then took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I leaned forward, resting my arms over my legs. I opened my eyes and looked down at the floor, really in deep thought about what I was doing.

After a couple minutes passed, you knocked on the door and came in with a few towels and a change of clothes for me. A pair of black sweats and some matching socks. I stood up off the bed as your tiny stature walked over to me. “ Here you go, and you have a shower right over there in the corner. So you know, your own private bathroom.” You said smiling to me. Your smile was contagious. I couldn't help but smile back as I could feel myself blushing, as I received the items out of your hands.

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.” I could feel this feeling of just being drawn to you physically, but in a way I never felt before. You seemed so much more than just a female that wanted to help me at a time of need. You were a goddess and I was nothing more than a lowly cruel cursed spirit.

“Come downstairs when you're finished, okay. I'm fixing us some Pho.” She said walking back towards the door to exit the bedroom. Her fingers wrapping around the door frame.

My eyes widened, I was so confused by the offer of food you were willing to give to me. “You're.. making food for ME?” I asked with an expression that was a mix of gratitude, surprise and disbelief. I could feel my voice becoming shaky as I quickly nodded my head. “I-I'll be right down.”

She let out another small giggle that coughed me to almost stand on my toes and sent shivers down my spine. “Yes.. I am. You're hungry aren't you?” She then gave me the purest smile and walked out the room. “Take your time in the shower. If you need anything.. call me.”

I nodded and smiled widely. I was almost surprised that you were showing so much affection and care for me. I've never had anyone show this much appreciation for me at all in all the years I've been on this earth. “I'll take my time..” I said as I heard you begin to walk down the stairs. I placed the essentials I had in my hands next to me as I sat down on the bed for a minute. I threw myself back on the bed again and looked up at the ceiling thinking about what just happened. I felt like this whole situation was a dream. An almost perfect woman who invited me to stay with her after just meeting me. This had to be better than any romantic fantasy that I ever imagined. But in the back of my mind, there was still something about her that I couldn't put my finger on.

I finally took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down as I stood up from the bed and headed over to the bathroom.

After switching on the water, and ensuring the temperature was just right for me, I undressed, placed my clothes on the floor and entered the shower. As I stepped under the spray, I could feel so much stress just wash away from my body as I closed my eyes, letting the hot water run from head to toe. As I stood there, I began to recall everything that had happened today, how I had ran into her, how she brought me home with her, and the kiss you gave back to me. I could feel my heart begin to speed up again with just the thought of you. The way you were caring for me, the way you offered me to stay in your home.

I couldn't be falling for her… I couldn't be. That just doesn't make any sense…

As Choso was taking a shower upstairs, I decided to go ahead and take care of myself downstairs in the spare bathroom I had near the kitchen.

I went ahead and took a decent hot shower that took about ten minutes. I knew by the time I was out he would probably still be under the spray in the upstairs bathroom. I could tell he went through and was going through a lot at the moment and I didn't want to put more on him that he couldn't handle right now.

Once I exited the shower, I threw on some baggy shirt, no bra and some silk pants that flowed when I walked. Even though I had a stranger in the house with me, I still wanted to be comfortable in my own surroundings. But I couldn't help but wonder if he was doing okay.

I was still lost in thought as the hot water ran over my pale skin. The heat and steam was so comforting to the point where I could feel my muscles loosen back up. It felt like pure heaven, and I honestly didn't want it to end.

“Choso.. are you okay in there?”

I immediately snapped out of my trance, realizing that she was standing outside of the door. “I'm fine.. Im.. just taking my time.” I responded over the running water, hoping you couldn't hear past the lie I just told.

“Oh.. okay… I was just checking on you. I'm still here if you need me.” I could hear her footsteps slowly walk away from the door as I let out a sigh as my breath started to shake.

“Ill.. be out soon.” I responded as I tried to remain as casual as possible.

“Okay.. like I said I'm here if you need anything.” I could see your feet finally disappear from underneath the doorway. I let out a sigh of relief as I heard the door close behind you as you left the room. Your presence has such a calming effect on me that it made me nervous in a good way when you were around me. I turned the shower back on and continued to rinse the remaining suds off my body.

After a few minutes, I finally shut the water off and stepped out of the shower. I managed to finally calm myself down even further while I was bathing which was a surprise even to me. Stepping out, it felt like the world was suddenly in an entirely different light, as if I was able to leave my old world of curses and sorcery and just experience the bliss of this exact moment.

This was a moment that I dreamed of for a long time, that I've always wanted for myself. But who knew that it would take someone else to give it to me in return. Someone I didn't expect to come into my life at the most random of all moments. As a curse, I felt like I didn't deserve this at all. I felt like I wasn't worthy of you.

I didn't deserve you…

#choso #choso kamo #chosokamo #jujutsu kaisen choso #jjk choso #chosoandpynk #choso x reader #i love choso #choso and pynkricee #choso x black!reader #choso x black woman #choso and kyigo #ChoGo #jjk #choso story #chosolovestory #choso smut #smutty choso

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joeys-babe · 8 months

Text

(his arm veins in this pic- oh. my. god.)

Someday We’ll Be Together

Chapter 7: We good

————————————————————————

(joe's pov)

i woke up this morning to my doorbell bringing rung repeatedly.

groaning as i rolled over, i hit my phone. the screen lit up showing the time as 8:47. on off days i tried to sleep in, but here we are.

when the ringing didn't let up i threw a pair of shorts on and went downstairs. i opened the door and y/n's mom was revealed.

"morning joe" - your mom smiled

"i'm going back to bed." - joe turned and walked back into the house

"no sir. we need to talk." - your mom

"did y/n send you? because if so, i'm not talking." - joe

"no, i came here on my own. thought you might want to talk about what went down yesterday."

- your mom

"i tried to apologize. y/n was persistent on not excepting my apology, she said something that ticked me off, i walked upstairs. there's the summary." - joe

"she told me what she said to you. she really feels bad about it, and she doesn't want to fight with you. you know she cares about you a lot, it was just in the moment and she wasn't thinking straight. you know how she is joe, she seeks for your approval of everything and when you were ignoring her because you didn't agree with what she was doing.. it really made her upset." - your mom

"i- i know, but that doesn't mean what she said doesn't hurt. i was vulnerable with her about something i was going through and she used it against me." - joe

"she didn't eat dinner last night, and cried for i dont even know how long. she really does feel bad." - your mom said and joe crossed his arms

"it hurt a little more you know because of i realization i had the day before." - joe nervously looked down at the ground and started playing with the bracelets on his wrist

"what's that?" - your mom smiled, hopeful that joe was going to admit to her what you did yesterday

"those feelings i had for y/n back in college, they're back. i don't think they ever truly went away either." - joe

"aww joe that's so sweet." - your mom

"i'm glad to finally get that off my chest. but i don't know what to do, we barely talk anymore. i think she's made it very clear that she doesn't feel the same way." - joe

if only he knew, your mom thought.

"she's still asleep, what if you woke her up and you guys talked it out. i hate to see you guys like this, you two have been inseparable since birth." - your mom

"yeah. i'm gonna get dressed and fix my hair first." - joe

she gave me a pointed look, which i automatically knew what she meant by.

"before you say anything, i'm getting ready to feel better about myself.. not to impress her." - joe

"mhm" - your mom walked out of joes house and shut the door

now that she was gone, i went back upstairs and into my bathroom to get ready.

i brushed my teeth and fixed my hair before throwing a t-shirt on and walking downstairs to put shoes on.

a few minutes later i was walking into the y/l/n's house. y/n's mom gave me a smile, happy that i followed through with talking to y/n.

i walked up the stairs and down the hallway as quiet as possible, before getting to her room and slowly opening the door.

y/n was sprawled out on her bed, the covers shoved down to the foot of it. i took in her outfit, the bengals shirt of mine i let her wear to my practice and a pair of the tiniest sleep shorts. fuck.

oh god joe, keep it together.

i closed my eyes and did a few deep breathes, trying to calm myself down.

now that i had composed myself, i bent down and moved some of her hair out of her face. she's so beautiful.

y/n stirred a bit but didn't fully wake up so i tapped her shoulder a few times.

"what?" - you drawled out with a whine

"wake up sleepyhead." - joe smiled

you felt your heart stop as you heard joes voice, he's the last person you thought would be the source of the shoulder tapping.

"joe?" - you

"yeh, i didn't like how things went yesterday and i want to figure it out." - you

"so you wake me up without warning?" - you chuckled slightly

"your moms idea, not mine" - joe said defensively

y/n sat up and brought the covers over herself before patting the spot next to her, of course i happily sat down.

"i'm sorry for walking away from you yesterday. i could've handled that situation better." - joe

i looked at y/n when she stayed silent for a few seconds but she just stared at me before pulling me into a hug.

"it's all my fault, joe. stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault. i don't want to fight with you, you've made me the happiest person ever my entire life." - you

"i don't want to fight either." - joe

"i know you want me to be happy, and you're more than capable of protecting yourself and me." - you

"im so glad you're my best friend." - joe

"me too." - you

"so.. we good?" - joe pulled away and looked at your expression

"yeah" - you smiled

"good, anything i missed that you want to tell me" - joe

"not really. nothings really went down." - you

"you haven't told me about your date with tee yet, how'd it go?" - joe

"it went good, but he said we were better off as friends.. which i agree with honestly." - you

i had to really keep it together to not jump up and start doing a happy dance. in my head i was screaming yes, yes, yes!!

"damn, sorry. i knew you liked him. it wasn't because of me, right?" - joe

"no, we'd just be better off as friends." - you lied, it was completely because of joe and the fact you were in love with him

"okay good." - joe

"how's your love life?" - you

"nonexistent" - joe scoffed

"oh please, there's hundreds- probably thousands of girls lined up to date you." - you

"yeah maybe, but there's a girl that i have my heart set on. i don't think she likes me like that though." - joe

why'd i say that. now if she asks who i'm gonna have to come up with a lie.

"you should tell her how you feel, you'll never know unless you tell her. if she doesn't feel the same way she's pretty dumb, you're a great guy joe and any girl would be lucky to have you."

- you

"i plan on telling her, i just don't know when or how. i want to wait till the perfect moment." - joe

"she's a lucky girl" - you smiled, deep down your heart was breaking with every word joe said

i felt my phone buzz in my pocket and when i got it out i cursed under my breath.

"what? everything okay?" - you

"i forgot that there's this team dinner tomorrow. it's supposed to be like dressier, and i really don't want to go." - joe

"why not? sounds fun to get all dressed up." - you

"not fun to have to like 80th wheel your teammates." - joe

"oh you don't have a date?" - you

"nope. when this was planned i was still with lexie, and we know how that went." - joe

"there's tons of girls that would love to go with you, you're like a heartthrob." - you

i rolled my eyes and glared at her, causing her to laugh.

"i'm not going with some rando- wait, do you have plans tomorrow night?" - joe

"i'm unemployed and living with my parents, of course i'm free." - you

"do you wanna go with me?" - joe

"to your dinner?" - you

"yeah. the team already knows you, you can talk to the girls, and you're a girl that i feel comfortable with." - joe smiled

"sounds fun.. yeah, i'll be your date." - you

"thanks." - joe

"of course, anything for you." - you

i smiled before standing up from her bed.

"i'm sure you want to get ready for the day so i'll get out of your hair. it starts at 8 so i'll pick you up around 7:25, okay?" - joe

"okay sounds good.". - you

"then it's set. it's a date." - joe

"it's a date." - you smiled softly as joe walked out of your room and shut the door behind him

(y/n's pov)

A DATE?!?!?

_________________________________

authors note: ooooooooooooooo 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

hope you enjoyed ❤️

#bengals #joe burrow #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x reader

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multifandombxxch · 1 year

Text

PLAY TOO MUCH

requested:

Hey, can you do a plug!Taeyongx x Chubby Reader. Y/n playing too much with Taeyong's feelings cuz y'know he really likes her and whatever but y/n doesn't believe him.

Pairing: Plug! Taeyong x Chubby reader

warnings: age gap, insecurities, fatphobia, raw sex (wrap it before you tap it), S*xual Harassment, mentions of drugs.

"Bout to catch another flight (yeah)

the apple bottom make 'em wanna bite (yeah)

I just wanna have a good night

I just wanna have a good night (hold up)"

The familiar lyrics of Coi Leray's 'Players' were currently blasting through multiple speakers in my dorm parking lot.

What may be the cause of this you ask?

My roommate was having another party.

On a fucking school night.

My bedpost was banging against the wall as the bass of the speakers was quite literally shaking the whole building.

I kissed my teeth in annoyance I was trying to catch up on an episode of 'House of Dragon' for Christ's sake.

"I cannot take this anymore. I'm calling her." I grumbled.

Calling MIRAE<3...

Ring

ring

ri-

"Hey boo, wassup?" she answered

I sighed pinching the bridge of my nose "Rae I literally can't hear myself right now. The music is way too loud and it's getting late. Don't you have an 8am tomorrow? "

she groaned on the other side "Bitch I told you to come downstairs and live a little. You can't spend college cooped up in the dorm."

I rolled my eyes at that. Rae did invite me to the party but I wasn't one for loud music and crowded places plus...I wanted to avoid a specific someone.

"I'm good, thanks and you know I wanna avoid he who shall not be named. " I said.

I didn't have to say his name she knew exactly who I was referring to.

she chuckles nervously on the other side

"what?'" I question a sudden feeling of anxiety filling me.

"Imma just give it to you straight. He's here and I told him you were upstairs so he said he was gonna deal with his clients and then go up to see you."

I took the phone from my ear and stared at it like it was some foreign device.

Then I placed it back on my ear

"Bitch you did what?!"

"Oh calm down. He's literally been obsessed with you since last semester. He's damn dedicated I'll give him that and he's fine as hell." She gushes.

after a couple minutes of silence ( really just me being lost in my own thoughts ) I spoke up

"I'm nervous. I like him but what if he's just fucking around? I'm not exactly his usual type." I admit softly

"Y/n" Mirae's tone is much softer now.

I shut my eyes tightly.

I didn't need pity right now. but I couldn't help but remember the awful things that were said to me

'why do your hips bend in like that...it looks weird'

my hip dips

'you need to start working out I can see the damn rolls on your back

my back rolls

'no one is going to want someone who can't take care of themselves

my body

I didn't think I was attractive or deserving of any attention.

the attention I got from men made me feel dirty instead of wanted.

I mean...being groped by a random man at 15 wasn't something I had on my bucket list.

Now all of a sudden I'm supposed to believe someone wanted me for me.

change the topic from your body Y/n

"It's fine...forget about it." I quickly cover up.

"So how long ago did he say he was coming up" Nice change of topic idiot

she sucks in a breath "He actually went up about 2 minutes ago"

my eyes went wide in panic. Our room was on the third floor I had roughly a couple seconds before he kno-

KNOCK

three rapid knocks came from behind my room door.

"Oh is that him? I'm hanging up then babe." Rae rushed out before hanging up. I put the phone on my nightstand.

Christ, I didn't even have time to fix my hair or something.

I was still seated on my bed when I heard his deep amused voice

"Y/n I gave you enough time to prepare for me so come open the door."

My body jerked at the sudden call out. I hurriedly got off my bed and made my way to the door

I counted to three before opening it and coming face-to-face with he who shall not be named aka Lee Taeyong aka the university's plug.

He grinned as he held up a bag of my favorite snacks "Hey princess...missed me?" Funnily enough, the bag looked out of place in his hand due to his outfit. He was in a black t-shirt and some black ripped jeans. and his signature silver accessories around his neck, wrists, and fingers.

He didn't have his bag with him...weird he usually has it because it contained his "goods"

I must've been staring too long because he suddenly spoke up

"Are you gonna let me in or are you gonna let that mind of yours go places it shouldn't" he smirked

The inside of my mouth became dry and suddenly I couldn't speak. I stepped aside allowing him to walk in and put the bag on my study desk.

I closed the door and turned to him.

No surprise he was already staring at me. he always stares at me.

am I really that ugly?

he was looking me up and down while his bottom lip was caught between his teeth.

"You did all that for me?" he question gesturing to my attire

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion until I caught myself in the bathroom mirror.

embarrassment

hide...hide right the fuck now.

I completely forgot I was only in an oversized t-shirt that stopped mid-thigh...with no damn bra on.

I gasped and covered my face with both my hands.

he chuckled and I felt him coming closer to me.

suddenly he took my hands from my face.

"Stop being so cute y/n...makes me wanna fuck you more"

my breath caught in my throat.

he only found me attractive because of my body

a familiar feeling of disappointment filled me

he pulled me closer by my hands and moved his hands to grip my waist

"What's wrong cupcake?" he asked concerned.

His black hair fell in front of his face. He was too good to be true.

"Is someone bothering you again?" he grilled me his eyes suddenly turning dark

"No" I answered

"don't lie to me. You know I'd kill for you." he grunted, suddenly gripping my jaw.

he can't be serious right now

he doesn't mean that

"I am serious and I mean every. fucking. word." he said suddenly serious.

did I say that out loud?

Fuck it the worst that could happen is that he destroyed my already low self-confidence so I decided to ask.

"Do you actually like me?"

he stared at me incredulously "Y/n don't ask me stupid questions. Why would I follow you around and practically throw myself at you if I didn't like you?"

he was blunt about it but I just couldn't believe him.

my doubt must've shown on my face because he suddenly turned me around and pushed me up against the wall.

he was so close I could feel his heartbeat against my back.

"You think I'm playing with you?" he asked me

"Yes" I admitted

"There's no way you'd want me. You don't usually go for girls like me.

he pressed against me more and growled "The fuck do you mean girls like you? "

tears lined my eyes

"Fat girls...chubby ones!" I whispered

after a beat of silence from me and heavy breathing from him...he released me and stepped back.

I still faced the wall. I couldn't bring myself to look at him...I was too scared I was right.

"Y/n look at me" he spoke out.

I remained unmoving

suddenly he tugged the back of my t-shirt causing me to fall back into him.

"You think i dont want you because of your body?” He questioned….his tone soft and careful.

I nodded.

“Or you could want me just for my body….I know you would probably want to sneak around since nobody wants to be seen with me”

I could feel his heartbeat on my back.

He said nothing for a couple seconds and then….

“Should I fuck you and claim you to prove you’re wrong?” He asked bluntly

My body stilled.

“Answer me baby…I need an answer y/n. I won’t touch you if you don’t want it” he rasped out.

I nodded.

And that’s all it took for him to devour my body.

“Let me see your pussy baby” he grunted as he laid me back on the bed.

I clenched my thighs tighter together

What if he hates what he sees

All of a sudden he forced my legs open and used his index to take some of my wetness

Causing me to whimper.

He looked me in my eyes and licked it clean off his fingers.

“You taste better than I could even imagine princess” he moaned out.

Three.

I had three orgasms before he put his dick in me.

I was already a trembling mess but that didn’t stop him from fucking me senseless and giving me two more orgasms.

The blissful look on his face as he marked me everywhere and Painted my walls white with his cum was better than any artwork in any museum.

His body jerked and trembled as he whispered how beautiful and breathtaking he found me.

Slowly he rolled over and laid next to me.

After we came down from the high he realized that we didn’t use protect which I reassure him by telling him I was on the pill.

“No more playing y/n, I fucked you raw. I claimed your pussy and marked your body….tell me your mine.” He as he laid next to me.

“I’m yours” I whispered blissfully

He pecked my cheek “that’s right princess”

#nct johnny #nct mark #nct 127 #nct dream #nct haechan #nct jaehyun #nct taeil #nct taeyong #nct smut #nct imagines #nct imagine #nct x reader #nct x y/n #nct x chubby reader #nct au #nct ambw #nct taeyong smut #taeyong

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axailslink · 1 year

Note

Can there pls be a strictly professional part 2? If not, then that's fine too, i understand :)

Also the 'i will deliver love' was very cute hehe

Thank you so much

Strictly professional

Part 2

Shuri x grown FEM reader

Part 2

Summary: the dinner easily became not so professional.

You and Shuri sat in a pretty nice restaurant you wanted to ask how in the hell did she just get a table at the place but she's Shuri Udaku it couldn't be that hard. You'd hate to admit you were nervous but you were nervous Shuri kept watching you as you sipped the wine "I told you before and I'll tell you again prince-" "Shuri" she corrected you her soft voice making you close your eyes for a moment lord be on my side tonight help me behave please you cross your legs and put your head down. "So Shuri Udaku there was never any news on who is the ruler of Wakanda we know you're the protector but who's leading Wakanda?" She smiles softly at you on the inside you are screaming but you stay still as she answers "I wish I had an answer for you I don't want the throne so I will not be taking it." You nod and gently tap the glass with your nail trying to distract yourself from her soft voice and those alluring eyes that are just staring at you. "Can I ask you a question?" You nod "of course" anything you want mamas you watch as she leans onto the table staring deep into your eyes you glance around avoiding eye contact "why are you so nervous suddenly?" You so tapping the glass and finally return her stare "you don't want my true answer this is a strictly professional setting." She laughs and grabs your hand and you almost melt lord take me now before I do something nasty please call your child home please! She gently rubs here thumb over your hand "of course I do" you pick up your glass and down it a bit "Shuri I'm only thinking about one thing and it is not in any way, shape, or form professional. Please stop touching my hand before I act on it and lose my job I am not God's strongest soldier." She does not in fact stop touching your hand you get up and grab your purse leaving for the bathroom the warmth from her hand is gone and you wish you could go back but you need a breather.

Oh you take out your phone and call your mother "mama why did you make me gay? I blame you for me not being able to do my job today. I blame you she keeps staring at me and holding my hand I'm trying to talk business but I keep having lesbian thoughts." Your mother sits on the other end quiet before speaking up "you mean to tell me you're basically on a date with Shuri Udaku of Wakanda and you're freaking out?" She bursts into a fit of laughter "honey seize your opportunity fuck that job you're smart you can get another. Also you're like grown as hell stop calling me when you have the smallest inconvenience she's a normal person just like anyone else." There's a knock on the door and you groan "I'm in here" you say softly as you look in the mirror.

"I know" replies Shuri's soft voice you hang up and put your phone in your purse then you clean yourself up before unlocking the door "I made you nervous I was trying to do the opposite you can just be yourself" you sigh "no I can not because I will lose my job myself is telling me to fuck you my mind is screaming that at you do you know that?" She nods and you shake your head in disbelief why would she encourage this "your eyes are also saying the same thing so is your body language I'm not blind Miss y/l/n..." She comes into the bathroom closing the door behind her "I do love a good secret" you almost drop immediately your purse almost hits the ground but you clutch onto it as she approaches you. "Ms. Udaku this is hastily becoming no longer professional" you say as she grabs onto your waist and pulls you closer to her "would you like me to stop?" You definitely didn't want to answer that because truth is hell no for the love of God no.

"Do I have to answer that?" You ask as the gap of space starts to close between you two Shuri nods "yes it's a consenting question" oh praise the Lord something about her asking for consent is the sexiest thing in your life you don't know why but it just makes her all the more too much to take in. "No" you answer quietly not shy not scared you just feel like if you speak too loud you would wake up and this will be revealed to all have been but a dream.

The princess picks you up and you hum okay the strength this motherfucker had you was not prepared for in any way shape or form you weren't prepared for it. Her having picked you up causes you to look down on her as she leans up and kisses you you let one of your hands move on its free accord grabbing the back of her shaved head and deepening the kiss. You feel a continuous vibration on your ass but pay it no mind and neither does Shuri as she continues to kiss you not halting in her movements not faltering or becoming unstable as she held you. If you weren't in her arms right now you'd be questioning how the fuck she's doing this but you're...too preoccupied at the moment with princess Shuri's tongue down your throat.

Shuri pauses in her actions realizing her kimoyo bracelet has stopped buzzing and before she can react or put you down the two bald women who followed her around come in the bathroom. The one she called general earlier looks at the other as she puts you down you wanted to die of embarrassment "I told you" general mumbles to the other "princess this is business" the princess nods wiping her mouth "that was business my own business actually until you two interrupted-" Okoye shrugs "I tried to warn you but you didn't answer your kimoyo beads" "let's call it a night" you nod as the other woman stares at you you're not exactly sure why but her stare had you wanting to smile. You shouldn't feel proud of yourself but you most definitely are because who else could say the princess and protector of Wakanda picked them up and kissed them? No one at least not that you knew of now you were a bit curious did she do this often?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You two finished the dinner with little to no conversation only stares when she wasn't looking you were staring at her when you weren't looking she was staring at you. The dinner Shuri of course paid for after offering it's only now that you realize you didn't arrive in your own car she can see your reaction and leans down and whispers in your ear "don't worry I'll take you home." Lord I am trying to regain my strength why do you keep torturing me!? You smile and nod "or I can take you to my hotel" you visibly shiver at the thoughts of what could happen there and on the way there.

I keep asking the lord to let me behave but he sends me his strongest warrior you nod "my house is an hour away that's a long drive... The hotel doesn't seem too bad" she nods and places her hand on your lower back as she opens the door for you. Okoye and Ayo stare at each other before getting in their assigned car following being then both "she's so going to lose her job" Okoye says Ayo smiles "I think it's cute and she won't if we keep our mouths shut" Okoye glances at Ayo "by 'we' you meant you you can't wait to tell Aneka of this little romance." Ayo shrugs "it's cute."

@britishvamps

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rainydaywhump · 4 months

Text

Reed pt 8 - Forced to Watch (Whumpcember Day 16, Alt 2)

<- Pt. 7 - Pt. 9 ->

Cervine finds that Reed has been captured again, and she's feeling guilt. Aaaaand murder.

In other words: Cervine remembers being made to wait to rescue Reed until the cover of night, during which she had to watch what the enemy soldiers were doing to him.

CWs: male whumpee, degradation, dehumanization, creepy whumpers, multiple whumpers, caretaker fucking kills them, please not that irl medieval-ish combat was not nearly this easy unless you were really good at it, which I've decided Cervine is. Blood, some gore that isn't described much, restraints on whumpee.

I lost him.

I left him alone and defenseless.

I may as well have tossed him over enemy lines myself.

Cervine stared at the hoofprints leading away from their campsite, lips pursed and eyes smarting with anger. She had left for a last-minute forage for some more medicinal plants, and she'd left Reed on his own. After being held captive for two weeks and then being under her constant care and company for nearly another week, she figured he'd want some alone time before the journey home. Seeing as they were in no man's land, she'd thought that no one would stumble across him in the two hours that she was gone.

The shirt he'd been altering was cast aside, needle and thread still nearby. A little more searching and she found his dagger lying in the grass. But none of the items in their shelter had been taken or moved -- meaning whoever had taken him either didn't think to look or didn't even realize that they were there.

Evidently, she'd been wrong. Reed was incredibly strong considering he'd held out against his interrogators. He had been a capable agent before his time in captivity, and he would certainly become one once again, once he was fully recovered. But he wasn't fully recovered yet, and though he was highly intelligent, brave, and strong-willed, those traits wouldn't have been enough against brute strength.

Which meant Reed hadn't told anyone about her.

Which meant she stood a better chance of finding him again.

I lost him. I did this to him.

He suffered so much and he was just starting to heal a little mentally, and I betrayed him.

If he had told his attackers about me, I would've deserved it. I would deserve to be in his place. This was my mistake, not his.

The Laarylni agent knew that she had made another mistake in her mission to rescue the missing allied spy, and that was getting attached to him. She'd actually let herself care about him, not just for him. And she didn't try to resist that anymore, either. Cervine had been on rescue missions before, and she'd always been able to be calm and compartmentalized about it, but this...this was different.

A cold chill ran through her as she considered another aspect of her failure: she had never properly hidden the bodies of Reed's previous captors, the band of semi-autonomous Halyen warriors who had kidnapped him and tortured him relentlessly for two weeks. To be fair, she reasoned, she hadn't had time -- Reed was in desperate need of urgent medical attention, and that took priority. But Cervine had to admit that a large part of her carelessness came from pure emotion.

She closed her eyes and slipped into a memory of the day and night that followed her search for the missing spy.

...

The soldiers were awake and mostly sober when she settled into her hiding spot.

On a slight rise on the knoll, hidden by rocks and scraggly bushes, Cervine hunkered down under the protection of her cloak -- mottled with the colors of the landscape and breaking up her silhouette -- and forced herself to take deep breaths while otherwise staying as still as possible. She needed to make sure that she was calm despite what she was seeing, and she needed to stay perfectly still so as not to attract any attention. As darkness fell, motion would be all the more visible to the soldiers.

She wanted to jump right in and grab Reed, but she had come all this way and she wasn't going to risk mission failure just because she was being forced to watch the torture they put him through.

She watched them pull his hair and tie a thick collar around him, then tighten it until he passed out -- and then they slapped him awake or carved slits into his skin until he came to from the pain. They tied a chain leash to the collar and bound him in a kneeling position by their feet as they ate and he starved. They beat him, and then they patted his head and stroked his thighs and chest after in a sickening show of possession and dehumanization.

She watched as one of the soldiers eyed him up all afternoon and then advanced when the sun fell, rope and knife in hand. Reed, who had been reduced to a limp, bloodied, bruised body at this point, flinched at the sight of him -- and though Reed was too weak and likely too starved to retaliate at all, the soldier took sickening pleasure in calling over his comrades to hold Reed down and twist him into a painful hogtie, gagging him even more for the night.

I'm sorry, she thought, wishing there was some way he could hear her. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not saving you now. I can't risk them hurting you or threatening to kill you if we reach a stalemate. I need you out of the way, safe.

Throughout all of this, Reed didn't crack -- and, more strangely, the soldiers only demanded information from him a few times. The rest of their abuse was merely for fun. To Cervine's horror, two of them (including their apparent leader) could even be heard talking about just taking him as a plaything instead of giving him up to more effective interrogators.

When the Harp constellation was high and the insects stopped buzzing for a moment, Cervine made her move.

The soldier on watch duty was first. Reed had made some sort of noise -- a whimper, she thought -- and the guard had made a derisive remark. Cervine shadowed spider-like through the tall grasses until she was poised, crouched on the balls of her feet, just behind the soldier.

She felled him with a simple and silent blow to the neck, nearly severing his vead and stifling his chokes with his own tunic. He may have made a small noise as she stepped over him, but he was far enough from the others that no one heard.

Eleven to go.

With a rush of addictive adrenaline, Cervine advanced and managed to stab two more through the heart before the others woke. They were up in a fury, shouting to each other and grabbing their weapons --

-- and Cervine let them.

She didn't want to kill sitting ducks. She wanted to show them that they deserved their deaths.

"Who the fuck are you?!" One soldier shouted, but Cervine didn't answer. They didn't need to know.

After that, the only sounds she heard were those that were relevant to the fight. Quick as a hawk, Cervine ran one enemy through and pivoted to parry the next, then slice the soldier from her collarbone to her armpit. More came and Cervine dodged, nimbly avoiding killing blows and turning to face them from a new angle, then another, and then another at which point the soldiers were disoriented in the dark and Cervine launched herself at them with cold, vicious pleasure.

Disarm, stun, stab to the torso, slash to the guts. Fresh blood and sickly sweat permeated her nose. Cervine breathed it all in. Parry, dodge, jump, forward, slash -- Cervine tumbled under two soldiers and cut them both down at the knees, their screams going unheard.

A killing blow to one, two, three. Two more left to kill and one actively dying. By now the two left were running away, but Cervine caught up easily. She took down one and slowed as she advanced on the last, who had fallen and was now scrambling backwards on the ground, pleading. He'd dropped his axe in panic; Cervine picked it up.

Her ears tuned in. "Why are you doing this? Just take us prisoner, we haven't done anything!"

She blinked slowly and jerked her chin over to where Reed lay.

The soldier's eyes widened even more, if possible. "Him?! He's a failed messenger! He's a worthless piece of meat! Why are you --"

"The custom in your army," Cervine cut in. "It is a disgrace to die without weapon in hand, yes?"

The enemy slumped back, staring at her with something that resembled acceptance.

"You are...an honorable enemy," he whispered gratefully.

Cervine made sure he saw her toss the axe aside before she killed him.

...

The rest of the night's sound finally returned to her conscious brain, and Cervine checked to make sure that each of Reed's torturers was well and truly dead. The whole fight had taken nearly thirty minutes. When she wrote up an official report, she knew, it would sound as if it was easy -- but she was panting, bloodstained, and nearly completely exhausted.

None of that mattered compared to Reed, though.

Cervine rushed over to where he lay. Turning him over to cut his restraints, she found that he was out cold -- whether out of pain, exhaustion, injury, or a mix, she didn't know. She checked his pulse and did a quick scan of his bare body for any urgent wounds. Finding none of the latter, Cervine sat back with his head in her lap for just a moment to catch her breath.

The adrenaline and anger were quickly wearing off, and the agent had to fight off a wave of despair at Reed's state.

"Come on," she whispered to him, although there was no way he could hear her. Cervine gently lifted the unconscious young man into something vaguely resembling a bridal carry and wrapped his ragged blanket over him, shielding his back from the cold and pressing his chest against hers.

"Let's get you home, Reed."

...

Standing alone in front of Reed's discarded shirt, Cervine forced herself to calm down. She needed to be calm if she wanted to find him again, after all.

She wondered if his new captor knew about the twelve murdered soldiers. If his new captor had told him, Reed would know that it was she who did it.

Cervine didn't regret it for their sake, but she felt a quiet sadness when she thought of Reed's potential reaction upon learning how easily she'd done it.

@whumpcember @i-eat-worlds @pigeonwhumps

#whump #whump writing #whumpee #whump prompt #whumpcember #whumpcember2023 #whump caretaker #whumpcember2023day16 #i am so goddamn tired

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