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blog-of-hubris · 7 months

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Jujutsu Kaisen Chapter 238: Shinjuku Showdown, Part 19

Oh boy oh boy. Another jjk chapter with Sukuna showing off why he is the KING of Curses. Beyond his strength, he speaks like a king to those he defeats, and his meaning is very esoteric.

I'm going to go full fanboy in this post, everyone, so please forgive me if you are here to hear bad things about jjk (you're weird, btw).

Perfection...Beautiful..

Kashimo looking at Sukuna with X-ray and seeing nothing but perfection is exactly what I feel looking at Gege.

But on a serious note.. Finally, seeing Sukuna's true form in action is insane!!! He looks so terrifying, and Kashimo knew that instantly. Sukuna not having any strain on his heart or lungs due to the build of his body is so damn impressive. I love seeing him flexing his perfection to Kashimo and then blitzes him.

I love this moment because it's showing how much Kashimo overestimated his ability to fight Sukuna. I knew Kashimo was a non factor, and Sukuna made it APPARENT. He literally showed Kashimo, he just was not that good, lol. (I was never a Kashimo fan, so this is nice for me).

Sukuna is quite truly beautiful. Gege gave him such a design to reflect him being the peak of jujutsu. I just want to say thank you to gege for following through so thoroughly on this.

Then to go even farther and give us Sukuna's feats against the great sorcerers of the past was even better. He defeated the Sun, Moon, and Stars squad that Uro was once a leader of. I love Gege doing this type of stuff, man!

If you remember, Uro's vision of calamity when talking to Yuta was Sukuna, and when Sukuna revived she knew it was him just based off his cursed energy. Gege made sure that all of this was continued by giving us more lore on Sukuna's final form.

It's these little things that really move me in story telling. Connects those dots for us!

We Are Loved Because We Are Strong

Sukuna's speeches to people after defeating them is becoming one of my favorite things in jujutsu kaisen. I already loved his moment with Jogo + his final words to Gojo, but now we can add Kashimo to this list, lol.

I love Sukuna mentioning Yozoru's words to Kashimo, because it directly reflects the short conversation we saw between Kashimo and Kenjaku. Kashimo wanted to go against Sukuna to feel fulfilled. Initially, I took this as a warrior fighting for the fulfillment of a real fight, or a true fight to the death. Kashimo is similar Gojo, where he felt all the surrounding sorcerers were below him, causing him to separate himself as an entity. However, this was dissatisfying for Kashimo. The difference between him/Gojo and Sukuna, is that the king of curses accepted that as a fact of life. Due to this fact, he saw the world as his playground, and anything that went against his desires were to be destroyed.

“You know the answer you seek, you just can't comprehend it, right..?”

I love this quote by sukuna. Implying that kashimo knew all along the answer to his soul's dilemma.

“Is strength solitude”?

That question is always known by the strong, but I think sukuna's lesson was to deeper understand how to live as the strong.

“You were strong”

I see this as sukuna reminding kashimo that because of his strength, love should be known. Those under you will love you because you are strong. He goes on to tell kashimo that the ones who challenged him did not do so to curse him, but to be recognized and to validate themselves. That itself is love, or maybe an easier word to translate it would be “admiration”.

Admiration however is a product of love. That is how sukuna connects with those below him. I believe Uraume is the example of this, as he/she has been by sukuna's side for seemingly the longest. That love Uraume has is most likely the best execution of love sukuna can have for one below him.

(it makes me wonder why uraume is so special)

Telling kashimo that he was strong, but also lamenting is greedy. Wow, sukuna... when you think about it, sukuna's outlook is very royal and fits that of a being existing on a higher frequency. What Sukuna is trying to relay, is that being the strongest comes with natural love (or being strong in general). It is when you begin to hate that strength or see it as a burden that you begin to lose sight of that love. Those around you love you for your strength, even those that challenge it have some form of admiration and search for recognition from that strength.

This takes me to when Nanami said to Gojo that he also once believed they should just send him out on every mission. Gojo felt that he could never be understood, and that burden carried with him his entire adult life. Before, he had Geto who he saw as his equal, best friend and dare I say other half. That is why he wished that Geto was there, patting him on his back. Gojo felt separated from everyone, even if he loved them, he still felt isolated. I believe that Geto was Gojo's “love” and that is why he could never truly feel satisfaction.. He could never save Geto.

(Sorry to go back to the sadness that is Gojo's separation from others as a human due to his exceptional skills as a sorcerer, but all of this ties in together so well).

Kashimo and Gojo both got “greedy”. They were strong, but also wanted to hate that strength instead of taking everything that came with it and finding true satisfaction within. Gojo felt pure isolation from his talent, while Kashimo felt lament because he could never have an equal. Both of these stemming from feeling the need for others to fulfill them, which is why Sukuna believes that...

Love is Useless...

Sukuna calls love useless. I find this so intriguing, because the “love” he spoke of was surrounded by the motif of “the strong”, and also he straight up says the thought of needing someone else to fulfill him never crossed his mind. He never thought that another person would give him the satisfaction he wanted, instead he put his desires first.

“I live according to my own stature. If that can't be measured or understood, that's not my problem”.

MEGUMI? YOU HEAR THAT?!

My god i hope megumi is listening. I talk with @theanimepsychologist about megumi coming back and also how sukuna is possibly his golden shadow. To expound on this train of thought, I see all of this as Gege playing deeper into Sukuna's role as megumi's catalyst.

In simpler terms, I see Sukuna & Megumi's dynamic on the same level as Mahito & Yuji's. Mahito propelled Yuji's understanding of being a jujutsu sorcerer, while Yuji propelled Mahito as a curse. For Sukuna and Megumi, Sukuna saw Megumi's technique as something to gain. There could possibly be more he plans on doing with the ten shadows specifically, giving him an even more powerful arsenal than he had before.

For Megumi, Sukuna was the first to make him see himself as a stronger person. The words “why did you run away” stuck in megumi's mind from the first fearsome womb chapters. That was when he discovered he could place things in his shadow, and from there he began to elevate each arc.

Sukuna being in Megumi's body right now feels like a terrible journey of enlightenment for megumi. I find it interesting that sukuna states he was born cursed and unwanted. Megumi talks as if he was treated the same way, even believing his father is still alive living it up somewhere. Megumi has no idea he faced his father in shibuya, or that his dad wanted him to be something outside the zenin clan. Even if he did end up there, he believed megumi would be okay because he was talented. Megumi never saw himself as wanted by his family, and his cope for that was Tsumiki.

Sukuna was different, he chased after his desires alone. He believed he could make himself happy, and that there was no one else who could fulfill that. Megumi losing Tsumiki is so difficult for him because he relied on Tsumiki as his heart and conscious. At first, megumi was indifferent, but expressed himself boldly. Tsumiki's positive outlook is what moved megumi, and that was all the family he had. Megumi isn't heartless as sukuna may naturally be, but his decision to save people has left him too selfless.

For megumi to return, I need to see his understanding of self-worth change. He needs to see his strength and importance as an individual to truly understand the love that comes from being strong. In order to save people, you need strength, but you cannot develop that strength without having a stronger sense of self to dismantle any sparks that fly your way.

"Its okay to be selfish"

"A jujutsu sorcerer's growth never comes easy"

(I could continue on about this megumi and sukuna connection but i think my point is made)

That is why Sukuna said love is useless. There is no need to look to another to satisfy yourself. To understand yourself is to understand your desires. And to be true to one's self is to chase after those desires without remorse. He hasn't changed a beat from when he spoke to Jogo, and I love consistency.

What Can You Do...Brat?

The final spread of the chapter was C R A Z Y! Uraume and Hakari break out of the domain with no damage on either person, while Higaruma and Yuij (with scales and claws??) begin to drop.

WTH?

My assumption is that they are going to try to get Sukuna into Higaruma's domain to win a trial and take away Sukuna's CT. This could work, but I'm worried that even without a CT, sukuna is still going to be very proficient in his raw CE usage unlike the other sorcerers Higaruma has faced. Maybe that is all they need to start the process to save megumi, or something else entirely crazy that only gege can come up with!

Truly endless possibilities.

Gege is continuing to Gege (whatever that means) and I will continue to not miss a beat. I believe we have a break coming up, so we will have to digest on this chapter a bit before we figure out what's going on!

#jjk 238 #jujutsu kaisen chapter 238 #jjk meta #jujutsu kaisen meta #jujutsu kaisen manga #jjk 238 meta #gege akutami #weekly shonen jump #dh🍵#jujutsu kaisen #manga #manga meta

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botboots · 1 year

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capture [megatron, cybertronian!reader]

hi! so sorry for the lack of activity, been super busy getting ready for finals! wanted to post something though, so heres a small draft i started a while ago to try and write more gore/angst stuff, trying to push myself a bit more :) might not be the best thing ive written, but i think its alright enough to post - lmk if you want a part 2!

warnings: blood, gore, torture, death word count: 1.1k (GN, cybertronian!reader) continued under the cut

-----------------

The soft creaking of chains is the only sound that fills the barren room. You hang your helm, energon loss and a weary processor debilitating you, limbs heavy with thoughts clouded by fatigue. Lidded optics gaze down to the drying spilled fuel that covered both the floor and your frame. You take a ragged in-vent and close your optics, trying desperately to keep yourself from shaking.

Don’t make them think you’re weak. The others just need a little more time.

A faint mechanical fwoosh greets your audials, and a soft purple light is cast through the open door for a brief moment before being blocked out by a large, spiked shadow. You don’t even make an attempt to look up as heavy footsteps, followed by a lighter pair, make their way to the center of the room where you hang. The chains that secure your arms above you chime against one another as you shift, grimacing at the twinge under your shoulder plating.

“How is our prisoner today, Knockout?”

The cherry red medic slowly waves a scanner over your frame, clear disgust setting onto his faceplates at your state - or more so the state of your finish, ever the most important thing on his processor. Your gaze narrows at the mech while he waits for the scan to process. You had never known of a cybertronian who could be so unapologetically self-absorbed.

Knockout hums and skims over the data pad, tone annoyingly peppy when he answers, “Besides some minor energon loss, I believe they’re capable of taking another session or two before their… expiration, my liege.”

“Good.” Megatron replies lowly, “You’re dismissed.”

As soon as you hear the door close, sharp digits grab your chin. The servo lifts your helm so that you look straight into the warlords blazing red optics. “You only have so much time before my patience runs thin, Autobot.” he threatens, “Where is your base?”

You return his gaze with steeled optics, “Doesn’ matter how many times you beat me,” your voice is littered with faint static as you speak, “‘m never tellin’ you.” Megatron glares at you, opening his intake to disregard your words; but before he can speak you raise your helm and spit at him, a small glob of energon splattering onto his chassis. His optics widen, a hilarious mix of disgust and anger shaping his features - in any other situation, you would’ve laughed.

His narrow optics flit to you before raising a digit and swiping the blue substance from his frame. He flicks it away, and your vision suddenly spins when his fist slams into the side of your helm. Your frame shudders and you grit your denta, trying to let the sharp pain roll off you.

“If you’d like to play dirty,” Megatron snarls into your audial, “then I would be more than happy to accommodate.”

Energon drips from your intake. You feel as if you had been thrown into a spiked pit, scratches and dents littering your frame. Megatron circles you, running a clawed digit along your form. The sound of screeching metal-on-metal makes you cringe, and you try to ignore the flaring pain it leaves in its wake over your already battered plating.

He drops his servo from your frame, moving in front of you to raise your helm once more. He says nothing, only glaring. You return his gaze, exhaustion clear, but he doesn’t miss the glint of challenge in your optics. Megatron isn’t an idiot - he knows your type, and he knows you meant what you said.

The warlord snarls, “If you refuse to tell me the location of your base,” he raises his servo. “Then I will at least take the opportunity to thin your ranks!” Panic floods you right before he swings down, claws ripping through your chassis; bright, blue energon splattering onto both of your frames.

You wail - hot, white pain overtaking your thoughts. You thrash and kick out, sending Megatron stumbling away from you - but all of your attention is locked onto the excruciating pain taking hold of your body. Optics blown wide, you can’t help but stare as energon spills from the four, deep gashes carved into your chassis.

You barely feel his servo grab your helm and violently shove it upwards, trying to force the last of your attention on him.

“You should have taken your chance.” He sneers, sharp denta glinting as his gaze bore into yours.

You can’t look back. Not with any real meaning behind it. The only thing you can process is the pure, unfiltered agony taking over your frame. It was spark-splitting, and you can do nothing but wallow in it as Megatron makes his way towards the exit; leaving you heaving as you bleed onto the floor from the chains that suspend you.

Not moments later, you feel the ship rumble. Blaster fire can be heard behind the door, and you feel a sliver of hope grow in your spark. Even if they can’t save you, at least you won’t spend your last moments alone on a Decepticon warship. However an explosion jolts your frame, twisting you at a particularly painful angle; you cry out, venting labored as you try to re-focus on the sounds outside - anything but lingering on the torment of your wounds.

The gunfire dies down, and you hear a shout. Their voice wasn’t familiar, but you didn’t particularly care at this point - as long as you were given a chance at escape, you couldn’t give less of a scrap about what faction, or lack of, the bot saving you aligned with.

The door slides open. With strained effort, you lift your helm just enough to see who it is. You tense up in apprehension - this isn’t anyone you know. They were slightly blurred to you, but from what you can make out their frame is silver and blue with two red stripes on the top of their helm, and comparatively smaller than most of your comrades. Whoever it is, they seem to freeze as soon as they lay their optics on your mangled, energon covered form.

You probably looked dead.

The bot runs out, and for a moment fear seizes you at the prospect that they thought you were already gone, and decided that a sparkless Autobot wasn’t worth their while. You try to call out, but you only irritate your wounds - your chassis throbs as your voice fizzles out into static. All you can manage is a whine as you curl in on yourself; only managing to lift your knees a few inches upwards.

Your venting stutters. Tears well up in your optics. Your frame begins to shake.

You were going to die here.

#this isnt technically meg x reader but idk what else to tag it as lmao #still working on requests!#transformers #transformers x reader #transformers fanfiction #tf x reader #tfp x reader #megatron #megatron x reader #transformers prime #cybertronian reader #transformers x cybertronian reader

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aquariaries · 4 months

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Kou Mukami Heaven Story - Chaos Lineage

***I do not mind if you use my translations as a base for another language, I just ask that you credit both 46snowfox as the original translator and myself as the English translator if you do!***

Original translation credit: @46snowfox

https://46snowfox.tumblr.com/post/617475223016669184/01-02-03-04-05-06-07-08

You can find Kou's previous chapters in @tournesolia's masterlist linked down below!

https://tournesolia.tumblr.com/

PLACE: Downtown - Night

Yui: Haa ... ... *sigh*

(Going back home is so lonely. Kou-kun has a job that requires work overnight ... ...)

(He said recording could take a long time, and that he wouldn't know when it would end.)

(Also ... ...)

*She checks her phone*

He hasn't responded to my texts, either.

(Because he's so busy at work, he doesn't have time to answer ... ...)

I want to see Kou-kun ... ...

(I'll try to contact him one more time a little later ... ...)

*Crowd clamors*

Girl A: Hey, look at that!

Girl B: Kyaaa! It's Kou!

Yui: Eh ... ... ?

(Ah ... ... Kou is appearing on that big screen. Is that commercial ... ... his new job?)

(He's singing and dancing, and smiling so happily .. ... Fufu, how cool.)

Girl A: Kou is so cool! I wish I had a boyfriend like that~

Girl B: Me too! Kou seems to be the kind of person that's nice to his girlfriend.

Yui: (... ... He's very popular. As expected of an idol.)

(I'm glad to see Kou-kun, even if it's just a commercial, but I want to hurry up and see the real one.)

(When will he be coming back --)

*She's grabbed from behind and blindfolded*

Yui: Kyaa!?

(My vision went pitch black ... ... !? I'm certain someone just blindfolded me -–)

???: Who is it?

Yui: (Eh? This voice is ... ...)

Kou-kun ... ... ?

*She's unblindfolded*

Kou: Ding dong, ding dong! You're correct!

Yui: (I knew it, it was Kou-kun ... ... !)

Kou-kun! You see --

Kou: Shh! The others around us will notice that I'm here!

Yui: Ah ... ...

Girl B: Eh? Just now, did Kou ... ...

Girl A: No way!? Isn't that the real Kou over there!?

Kou: Crap!

M-neko-chan, let's run!

Yui: O-okay!

*They run off*

PLACE: Mukami Living Room - Night

Yui: I'm really sorry ... ...

(There's no way we wouldn't be caught when speaking loudly like that. I have to be careful from now on ... ...)

Kou: It's alright. We were able to escape. Besides, I was the one who surprised you.

Yui: Ah, it's true. You usually let me know when you're coming back, what happened today?

You didn't answer my texts either, did something happen?

Kou: Well, my manager took my cell phone from me so that I could concentrate on recording.

And that was before I could tell you that I wouldn't be able to contact you for a while. Even though it's my job, that's going too far.

Yui: I see, so that's what it was.

Kou: I was planning to contact you as soon as I was done recording, but I wanted to surprise you.

So, I went straight back home in a taxi without sending you any texts.

I was lucky to find you on the way.

Yui: I see. Did you find me by chance then?

(Somehow, it makes me happy that he spotted me among so many people ... ...)

Since you said you were going to be late at work, I didn't imagine that we would see each other again so soon.

Kou: Are you glad I'm back?

Yui: Yeah ... ...

Kou: Me too ... ... I'm happy to see you. I was thinking about you during the whole recording you know?

I felt very lonely not being able to contact you despite matter how much I wanted to ... ... So, could you gimme a recharge?

*He hugs her*

Yui: Ah ... ...

(Kou-kun is hugging me ... ... Fufu, it's been awhile since he's done this.)

... ... That's right, I haven't said it yet.

Welcome back, Kou-kun.

Kou: I'm home ... ... Nnn ... ... *kisses*

Yui: ... ... Nn ... ...

(It tickles ... ...)

*Commercial jingle plays on the tv*

Huh? This music ... ...

Kou: Hm? ... ... Ah, so they're already airing that commercial.

Yui: Earlier it was also broadcast on a big screen. It's amazing that they show it in areas like that.

(Ah ... ... The Kou-kun from the commercial just winked.)

You're very good at winking Kou-kun. As expected of an idol.

Kou: That much is simple. Anyone can do it right?

Yui: ... ... I don't think everyone can.

Kou: That reaction ... ... M-neko-chan, can you not wink?

Yui: Uh ... ... I-it's just, I usually don't have the chance to do it ... ... !

Although, I'm a little envious that you find the right moments to do it.

Kou: Heh ... ... In that case, let's practice together!

Yui: Eh? You'll help me?

Kou: Of course! As a professional, I'll teach you perfectly ♪

Yui: Thank you! I guess I'll take advantage of that and accept.

Kou: Leave it to me! Then let's start training. Can we do it in my room?

Yui: Yes!

Kou: Then go change. When you're done, come to my room.

PLACE: Kou's Room - Night

Kou: With that said, now try winking.

Yui: Eh, so suddenly?

Kou: It's just that if I don't see what you can do, I won't be able to give you the right advice?

Yui: Y-yes ... ... Understood.

(I'm embarrassed to do it while he's staring at me but ... ... Here I go!)

Kou: Uwah ... ... Wrinkles appeared between your eyebrows. You're worse than I imagined.

Yui: (He's really stunned ... ... !)

W-wait! Let me try one more time! Here I go? One, two ... ... !

Kou: Now you just closed both eyes, right? That doesn't count as a wink.

Yui: Uuu ... ... One more time! Please, give me another chance!

Kou: It's fine. Try how ever much you want until you're satisfied.

Yui: Thank you!

(Everything will be fine, I just have to close one eye ... ... One, two!)

*Time passes*

Yui: ... ... ... ...

(I can't believe I didn't succeed even once ... ...)

Kou: Yikes, I'm really suprised. I think this is the first time I've seen someone be so bad at winking.

Yui: (Uuu ... ...)

Kou: Ah, sorry, sorry. Please don't look so depressed?

You have me, the best coach on your side after all ♪

But if you really want to succeed, you'll have to go through some hard training~

Yui: Yeah, I imagined so ... ...

Kou: With that said, every time you fail, I'll give you one kiss.

Yui: Eeeh~!? A k-kiss ... ... Why!?

Kou: I won't accept complaints. Plus, you just have to not fail, right?

Yui: That's true, but ... ...

Kou: It'll be fine. As promised, I'll be giving you advice.

Yui: U-understood. I'll try my best.

Kou: The trick to winking is to tilt your head slightly while doing so.

It won't work if you do it while stiff, so how about you start practicing that first?

Yui: Tilt the head ... ... L-like this?

Kou: Nope, you haven't done it well at all~ Okay, here's a kiss ... ... Nnn. *kiss*

Yui: Nn ... ... !?

Kou: Alright, next!

Yui: L-like this ... ... ?

Kou: Ahaha! You closed both eyes! Okay, punishment time ... ... Nnn ... ... *kiss*

Yui: (Nnn ... ... Huh? This kiss is deeper than the previous one ... ... ?)

Kou: Alright, try one more time!

Yui: Y-yes!

(I failed before, but if I relax a bit ... ... !)

Here I go!

Kou: How scary! Your eyes are half open!! It can't be helped, I'll have to punish you again ... ... Nn ... ... Nnnnn ... ... *kisses her deeply*

Yui: ... ... Nnnnn ... ... !?

(I knew it, the kisses are getting deeper!!)

(Will each kiss become even deeper!? As I thought, this is really embarrassing!)

Kou: Well then, try again! This time strive to do your best and succeed

*Time passes*

Yui: Haah, haah ... ...

(The kiss just now was quite literally minutes long. The thought of being kissed if I fail makes me even more nervous ... ...)

(Uuu, it's too embarrassing, I can't take much more than this ... ... !)

Kou: Okay, next --

Yui: I-I can't anymore! I give up!!

Kou: Eeh? Do you really want to give up?

Yui: Yeah ... ...

Kou: I see. In that case ... ...

*He comes closer and starts to move her clothing*

Yui: Kyaa!?

Kou: Bad girls who give up must be punished, right? ... ... Hah ... ... Nnn ... ... *bites*

Yui: (Nn ... ... His fangs are on my shoulder ... ...)

Kou: ... ... You were embarrassed because I kissed you a lot, right?

I wonder if that's why ... ... your blood is so sweet and delicious ... ... Nnn ... ... fuu ... ...

Yui: ... ... Nnnn ... ...

(... ... Nn, everytime he sinks his fangs in deeper, the more my chest aches.)

Kou: ... ... Your eyes are melting. Do you want me to suck more?

Yui: Ah ... ... yes ... ...

Kou: Fufu, To think that you would ask for it yourself, as expected of you, M-neko-chan.

I will fulfill your wishes, and suck as much as you want ... ... Nnnn ... ... hm ... ...

Yui: Nnn ... ... Aaah ... ...

Kou: Fufu, actually. I was thinking that I was sure everything would turn out like this.

Yui: Eh ... ... ? Eeeeh!?

(Does that mean that all this training was on purpose!? It can't be~!!)

Kou: Until the lesson is over, I won't be letting you go okay ... ... ?

PLACE: Mukami Mansion Hallway - Night

*She knocks on Kou's door*

Yui: Kou-kun, is now a good time?

Kou: Yeah, come on in.

PLACE: Kou's Room - Night

Kou: What's up all of a sudden?

Yui: You see, there's something I want to show you, Kou-kun.

Kou: Something you want to show me?

Yui: Yeah! I couldn't do it before, but now ... ... ! *She winks*

Kou: Heh, that's amazing! It's a beautiful wink.

Yui: Fufu, right? I've been secretly practicing since then.

Now I can wink whenever I want!

Kou: You're this happy just to be able to wink, how cute~... ...

Yui: Eh? -- Wah!

*He comes up and holds her*

Kou: You're cute when you wink M-neko-chan, but don't wink in front of anyone other than me, okay?

Obviously, that applies to Ruki-kun and the others as well!

Yui: (Ah ... ... He's jealous ... ...)

(Fufu, Kou-kun said that I was cute, but he is also quite cute himself.)

Kou: It's a promise, alright? ... ... Nnn ... ... *kiss*

-END-

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #chaos lineage #diabolik lovers translation #kou mukami #yui komori

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justalilguyoops · 3 months

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INTRO

justalilguyoops (Em works fine!) | 25 | nsfw 18+ account | any pronouns!

I am very friendly, my inbox is always open! i love questions and prompts and any general brain rot hehe

I'm @justalilguyoops on AO3!

LIST of TAGS:

FICS:

-What is Past is Prologue-:

completed

NSFW

64 chapters

300k+ words

cattonquick

Maybe things were okay. Felix hadn’t said the most positive thing, sure, but was making someone’s blood run cold inherently bad? Oliver continued to spar with himself, with the hope that he could somehow think positively. He had somehow, at least, flipped the situation enough that Felix had sighed and retracted his statement of sending him home from Saltburn. That they would talk more tomorrow.

“I mean, like…He practically confessed his love to me in there. Flattering if it were someone else, sure, but from him?” Oliver could feel him shake his head, his chuckle like blows to the head, he could feel his disgust. Naturally, as if he were the sun speaking for the first time, everyone was in rapt attention. Oliver could picture it all so easily. “Fucking disgusting.”

-Lovers Alone Wear Sunlight-:

ongoing

NSFW

16 chapters

60k+ words

cattonquick

This was Felix’s fucking year.

Felix Catton. Webbe College. Oxford University.

Just Felix Catton with the world at his fingertips.

---

Plaid flannel, brown hair. Pale skin that seemed even paler in the overcast light, the sun working its hardest to push through the clouds. Felix watched as he leaned in to hear, a small smile, an understanding nod.

Then Oliver looked in his direction.

Felix wasn’t sure why he did it, but he hid.

Who was Oliver Quick?

-Blood Will Have Blood-:

completed

NSFW

2 chapters

11,477 words

cattonquick

“I don't know what you are. But I do know you make my fucking blood run cold.” Crack. Blood running down his throat, vision fuzzy, thick warm liquid running down Felix’s face. He was in a daze, reeling, head feeling heavy but too light at the same time. The base of the statue behind him felt far too cold, the blood dripping down his neck far too hot. “What…What the fuck, Oliver?” Felix croaked, coughing at the coppery nasal drip, hands rushing to his face to shield his battered nose. Hands coming away red. His blood. Oliver stood in front of him, cradling his reddened fist, hissing at his own pain. Shaking out his hand. From punching him. “What the fuck?!” Felix had never been socked before. Violence had never been in his blood, in his nature. Why would it be? Life came easily to him. Everything was solved with cold-hard cash. Those who rioted against him did it in the dark, off to the edges and the shadows that he was unaware of. Above it all, Felix had always been. But now, he knew the ache of his nose, the throb of his face, the split of his lip.

-Fair is Foul and Foul is Fair.-:

completed

NSFW

1 chapter

6,010 words

cattonquick

Felix had always enjoyed playing chess. There seemed to be a common misconception that Felix was dumb. The reality was that he was bored. Life was easy for someone like him. When he runs into Oliver Quick, someone like himself, he can't help but want to play a game. Oliver would have no choice but to play.

#justalilguyoops

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haleigh-sloth · 2 years

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I'm little disappointed that it seems like Touya has back pedaled instead of making a positive development, but I don't want to speak too soon either. But now that we are back to Touya & Shoto (possibly) maybe we will get the actually heart to heart that will lead to actual change and Shoto saving his brother's heart.

I'm not worried.

While I voiced distaste months ago for the idea of him going berserk and killing everyone (which he's on fire but he hasn't killed anyone there from what we've been told), the WAY it's happening is fine with me. And honestly after the Endeavor vs AFO chapters the followed Touya v. Shouto--this makes more sense in the grand scheme of things.

Touya tried to imitate Shouto's power. And Touya's inner thoughts are still being shielded from us quite a bit. His backstory was really the most insight into his character we've ever gotten. And there are still questions that need to be answered. Questions like, what was he thinking when this happened:

What did it mean? I mean, we know from context, but Touya has to acknowledge what it meant at some point. Now's not the time though.

And the main reason I'm not worried is exactly that panel. Because disregarding Touya's relatively safe position in the story, Shouto's is even more safe. And his moment with his brother is supposed to make a difference. Even if the difference isn't apparent yet, it will show eventually.

The thing about Touya is that Shouto seeing him isn't the end goal of what he wanted. It's pretty obvious that Touya showed a bit of appreciation toward the opportunity of getting to talk to someone from his family, and spill his past. AND let out all those ugly feelings toward his brother (and indirectly, he voiced them toward himself too). But the bottom line is that Enji--his dad--is the one he wants to be seen and acknowledged by.

He wants to be acknowledged as his father's son. He wants to feel like his father is actually that--his father:

That's always, always been what he's wanted.

So the effects of his moment with Shouto probably will not show or be acknowledged by Touya himself, until he gets what he needs from Endeavor.

It's that tunnel vision. It's SO painfully obvious during his fight with Shouto. He can't see past what he wants--his dad. The things he was spouting during their fight weren't focused on the abuse or neglect the family suffered through. Nope, not at all. All Touya could talk about was how lucky Shouto should have felt to be born the way he was, and how he should have capitalized on his circumstances more than he did. He just criticized his brother for basically not acting the way he--Touya--would have acted had he been able to do everything his dad wanted of him.

It really shows where Touya's strongest feelings lie. He wants his dad in his life--for better or for worse. Even if it means living their very last moments and then dying together.

And the thing to remember is that we as readers know more than Touya does. Keep that in mind--

This is the most important, and it's really the last piece of the puzzle needed to complete Touya's salvation.

So imo--it fully checks out that Touya is still "NO >:( where is my dad". Because the main thing he's been wanting hasn't been given to him yet.

Side note: I think I'm safe to assume that Touya called out for Skeptic's assistance because he wanted him to either warp him to Endeavor, or warp Endeavor to him. Based on the context--Skeptic mocking and calling him a daddy's boy, and then Skeptic explaining Endeavor's circumstances as if to explain why he couldn't completet Touya's request. That's just a guess based off the tiny bit of detail we got. We shall see. The rest of this post still stands though regardless.

#bnha #bnha spoilers #bnha meta #kind of not really #bnha asks #anonymous #todoroki shouto #todoroki touya #dabi #bnha 363

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villainsandvictimsalliance · 2 years

Text

You all knew how much I want Endeavor to stay alive in order to pay for all he's done. I've been very vocal about it, in fact.

For me Horikoshi did something amazing with the Endeavor storyline. First of all because the sequence of Endeavor fighting AFO has little to do with action and a lot to do with self-realization.

Enji not only exposed himself. Keep in mind all I have explained about younger versions of a character appearing as a why to symbolize the character core or soul or true self. Done? Well, we saw Enji facing a younger version of himself as a graphic description of the internal turmoil he was going through. This is Enji at his absolute limit, on the verge of dying, finally admitting all the wrong he has done, how awful he has been, how much damage he had caused. Even more, he's accepting he's not truly good. Hell never be what he wishes he could be, he can't reach the 1# spot as a hero. He even recognizes that the future heroes shouldn't be like him, that the future generations shouldn't have to carry the issues and mistakes of the past generations.

And I can't say this enough: this is huge.

I don't know if you hate or love Endeavor, but that doesn't matter here. We all know he was getting a redemption arc and it starts here. Not before. Here. Redemption starts with the person recognizing they have done something wrong or been someone bad. There's no getting better without the recognition phase, because you can't fix a mistake if you don't know it exists (not in this case). Yes, Endeavor must hate the person he is right now ane that's good for him. I'm not saying he's getting forgiven and all his sins had been forgotten. What I'm saying it's that it took a fight to death with the biggest villain on the bnha universe for Endeavor to recognize he's a major bastard, that he's responsible for what happened to Touya (hey, Touya is also responsible for his decisions but that's another post), that he's an obstacle for the future generations and that he needs to be a grown ass men, do his job right, deal with his issues and stop messing with people's lives.

For me, this is perfect. Endeavor dying would solve absolutely nothing. In terms of storyline, it'd be only a wound that's there to bleed, but it doesn't furthers anyone plot, it doesn't serve an option aside being dramatic, it is useless.

Endeavor LIVING? That's the move. There's a reason why he had that vision of Shouto walking towards the future, his back to his dad, facing the light. Enji owns the Todorokis for all he has done. He needs to take responsibility for the Touya thing (Shouto had to go stop his brother, something Enji should have done before), he needs to support Shouto in his career after all the trauma he inflicted, he has to answer Rei and be there for Fuyumi, he even has to endure whatever cold treatment Natsuo give him.

And if we talk about Hawks, I guess Endeavor's redemption is the path that opens up Hawks' redemption. Hawks is still young and he projects his issues a lot in Endeavor, his idol. If anything, Hawks depends way more on Endeavor that any of the Todoroki kids.

The graphic components of the chapter (357), like Endeavor basically murdering his past self in order to fully embrace how bad he has been it's a major step. Someone probably would give an explanation based on Freud about this, but I refuse to do so. You have Hawks making wrong guesses about Endeavor, which speaks a lot about how idolized is Endeavor in Hawks' mind and how Endeavor is not exactly feeding such narrative in the middle of the fight.

And because this is an Endeavor centered post, I won't even talk about how cool it was to see AFO's popping just one eye and one ear, and amazing way of showing how he only sees and listens to one side of the story.

All you have to know if that I'm fascinated on how things turned out ane I'm ready for more to come my way.

#Shan's mha opinions #Shan's bnha opinions #bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #league of villains #lov #Bnha 357 #Mha 357 #Endeavor #Enji Todoroki #Long post

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existslikepristin · 2 years

Text

Salon Erotique

Tags: TheLounge, NSFW… not exactly smut?, Secret Number, Soodam, Futanari reader insert (intentionally this time, too!), cliche fanfic intro, pretty girl, awkward girl, pretty awkward girl, nudity and talk of sex but no actual sex occurs, there is no smut in this SMUT wtf, yall I gave you so many opportunities, I guess it’s a fuckin romcom, Denise and Dita are unhelpful wingmen, does it count as a foot fetish if they’re chicken feet, seriously her lip twitches are the most fucking darling thing, visions in the sauce, 90% of the dirty talk comes from Giselle, how dare you make me write almost-fluff, I’m eventually gonna write the craziest smut in retaliation or just because I intended to all along idk, I uh could have posted this four months ago, oops, happy Secret Number comeback day!, enjoy!

Another day, another photoshoot. It’s not that you’re sick of these. Quite the contrary, they’re a fantastic source of supplementary income and you can appreciate that. It’s just that they’re an overused plot device.

But despite that, you feel that this particular photoshoot is going to be an interesting one.

You heft your camera bag off your shoulder and get your lighting set up. Your client today rented a studio for this. The space itself is super nice. Small, but not so small as to be uncomfortable. Warm, not hot. Private, not isolated. You wonder how much your client spent on it.

Speaking of the devil, she has appeared.

You’re pretty sure, anyway. She’s a beautiful woman, maybe in her mid-twenties, with a calf-length black dress and a classy grey jacket over it. Based on her carefully applied makeup and the fact that her wavy brunette hair looks like it just came from the salon, you’re pretty sure this is your client.

“Soodam?” you ask to verify.

She regards you with a silent look for a moment. “Yes… I made an appointment.”

Well… yeah. That would explain why you’re here.

“Yup. That’s great. So I’ve got the lighting ready to go. What exactly are you looking for, Soodam?”

She removes her jacket and hangs it with care on a hook on the door. The upper half of her dress is as conservative and modest as the length. “A photoshoot.”

Oh, so it’s going to be one of those days.

“Yes, of course. What sort of feel are you going for? Do you maybe have a theme in mind? Or a specific situation you plan on using the photos for?”

Soodam steps into the staging area and looks in every direction but yours.

Is she going to answer?

Options for Part 1:

She just wants something professional-looking to put on her instagram.

(Picked:) She wants some tasteful, artistic nudes.

She wants promotional material for her group.

Soodam does not answer you. At least not verbally. Instead, she pulls her dress up and over her head, taking a bit longer than one would with a shirt, given its length.

You can’t help but stare as she undresses. For one, you weren’t expecting her to. For two, you’re stunned by the absolutely murderous shape of her body. The subtle flare of her hips and her bubble butt, toned legs and tummy, and breasts wrapped in lacy white.

She stands there, nearly naked, as if it were the most normal thing in the world, eyes continuing to wander.

You cough to get her attention, hoping for an explanation. Soodam merely hums, as if agreeing with you, and unhooks her bra, dropping it to the side with her dress.

“Woah!” You have to pull your shirt a bit further down to keep the bulge from being too obvious through your yoga pants. “I don’t mean to be rude, but what’s going on here?”

Soodam gives you a curious look. “A photoshoot.” There she goes again...

“In the nude?!”

“Yes,” she states matter-of-factly, then, surprisingly, continues after a pause, “I see. Starting with the lingerie on. That will look nice.”

Clearly she doesn’t understand your distress.

You turn around as she bends over to pick up her bra again, avoiding the far too alluring sight of her ass, and fumble your phone out of your purse. You need to figure out if she said something about this that you missed when she hired you. But when you unlock your phone, the map that you hadn’t bothered to close is on screen, and you see a marker on your current position. You hadn’t thought much about the name of the studio before arriving, but now it makes sense.

salon érotique

You don’t need to have studied French to know you’ve gotten yourself into an interesting situation. It’s fine though. You can do this. You’re a goddamn professional.

“Well then, Soodam, thoughts on the lighting? Too warm? Cool?”

“I like it.”

Of course that’s all she has to say. You turn around to discover that she’s much closer to you, mere feet away. You could touch her if you reached out...

“It’s strange for girls to look at each other like that, you know.”

It would seem you were staring again. And this time she caught you.

Options for Part 2:

(Picked:) Brush it off. As previously stated, you’re a goddamn professional. You’re just… tired.

Admit that you just weren’t expecting a nude photoshoot, because you’re a dummo.

Correct her because, um, actually, you’re a futanari, gosh.

“Look at each other like what?” you ask, feigning ignorance. “I’m scanning my subject. Sorry if it’s coming across as something else. I just didn’t get quite enough sleep last night.”

“That’s okay, as long as the pictures turn out nicely.” Soodam sounds quite uninterested in your fake plight.

You steel your nerves and pick up your camera.

The first round of pictures is innocent enough. Soodam drapes herself across the white cloth background, and her lingerie practically blends in. Over time, however, the poses become more and more erotique. She pulls at the straps of the bra and lets them fall.

You think about your memory card. Soon enough, it’s going to be jam packed with sensual photos that you never expected would be inside of it.

Despite your insistence on professionalism, you struggle to keep your erection out of view. This was certainly not the day to have decided against baggier jeans. At least your shirt hangs low enough to conceal your shame.

You find yourself talking like a cheesy photographer anyway. “That’s great, Soodam! Yes! Hand on the hip! Pop that leg!”

Soodam is either into it, or she’s very good at interpreting stupid instructions. Which is the case, you couldn’t say, but her silent obedience is sure to produce high resolution gold.

“Yes! YES! You’re a cat! You’re a sexy cat! Prowl for me, baby! MEOW!”

The words escaping your mouth become increasingly more incoherent. There’s no stopping you and your artistic rampage.

Well actually, your camera stops you quite easily. The usual shutter sound it produces is replaced by a shrill beeping. It’s time to swap the memory.

You grumble as you dig through your bag. The interruption of your flow is extremely unwelcome, but at least it brings you back to reality. It’s a good thing too, because you notice the hard outline of your cock is almost fully visible. Your shirt must have gotten caught in your waistband somehow.

Readjusting, you turn back, only to see Soodam dragging her lacy panties down to her mid-thigh. Her bra is unclasped and barely hanging on by one shoulder.

Options for Part 3:

(Picked:) Keep taking pictures as normal. You don’t want to cause any distress.

Take off your top. It’s only right that you and your model are dressed similarly, right?

Peace the fuck out of there. This is too hot for you to handle.

Of course, you decide, it would be absolutely stupid to do anything other than continuing to do your job like a normal person. This is your livelihood and you have a reputation to uphold! Not that your job hasn’t led you all the way to sex with several idols in the past, but that’s no excuse!

You slap your cheeks and let the adrenaline course through your veins. New memory card installed, you swing the camera around to continue the shoot.

Soodam remains perfectly stoic, as if she’s done full pictorials naked before. And she sure poses like she knows what she’s doing too.

She starts on her stomach, propped up on her elbows. She slowly kicks one raised foot back and forth, touching one finger to the corner of her seductive lips. Her other hand is placed coyly over her breast.

Next pose. Soodam sits up, panties casually sliding down until they’re hanging off her toes. She props her chin up, elbow to knee. One arm goes between her legs to obscure her pussy. Her bra is just about gone, looking almost like a purse flung over her shoulder and leaving her tiny, pointed nipples completely out.

Next pose. The underwear is gone. With the technical exception of her modest earrings, Soodam is one hundred percent nude. She drapes herself back, arms over the head, hair fanned out. Her knees are still up, one crossed over the other. You stand halfway over her to get a series of glamorous pictures from above. When she looks up, you swear she’s staring through the camera and into your eyes. You gulp down your nerves and keep up the pace.

Next pose. Soodam gets on her knees, popping her shockingly round booty out toward you. “Hey, I… hope you know I didn’t mean anything by saying that… about girls.”

You pause your camera work. “Oh. That’s oka--”

“I’m just nervous about doing a photoshoot like this. That’s all.”

Options for Part 4:

Tell her she’s doing well. You’d never have guessed she was nervous.

(Picked:) Say it’s fine, if she makes it up to you. Say, by paying for dinner.

Imply, not all that subtly, that she shouldn’t be so damn rude.

“Uh. Oh. No worries, Soodam. It’s fine.”

“Are you sure? I can make it up to you.”

You look her up and down. She’s still looking away from you, so it seems like the perfect opportunity to take in the view… Not that you’re taking hundreds of nude pictures of her or something.

The curve of her back, the way her thighs and calves spread out as they press into each other, her slim shoulders, it’s all making you feel crazy. You think for a moment that you could ask her to suck your dick, or something similarly dirty, but no. That would be way too brazen of you, and she’d never go for that. Would she? You blurt it out.

“How about you take me out for dinner?”

Okay, so you didn’t blurt out anything dirty, but you almost did!

“Tonight? After the shoot?” Soodam asks.

Your thought process hadn’t gotten that far. “Uh, totally. If you’re free.”

“Okay.”

Okay. That settles it somehow, you suppose. You adjust your cock again to not appear through your leggings and get back to taking pictures. Tasteful… hopefully… pictures.

But just like that, the photoshoot ends. Soodam didn’t do anything really wild, as expected. Over the course of several more poses, not unlike some relatively tame pin-ups or boudoir images, nothing out of the relative ordinary happened.

You pack your camera back up, clasping all of the relevant memory cards in a secure case. You certainly don’t want to be losing these ones. Soodam gets dressed once more. It’s almost a shock just how modest her outfit is, but it’s what she wore in. You guess it’s your horny futa mind that made you forget.

“So…” Soodam hovers around as you take down the lighting. “Do you like chicken feet?”

As an amalgamation of people, you don’t really have that strong of a preference, but still you say, “Yup! Is that where you want to go?”

“Yes. And… Is this…” Her words may be slow, but at least they’re efficient. “A date?”

You look up from your shade folding. Again, she’s not looking at you. She’s looking anywhere but, in fact.

Options for Part 5:

A date immediately after taking her naked pictures? No, that’s weird.

(Picked:) Of course it’s a date. A romantic/cutesy one, in fact.

Neither, because it was a trick, and you’re leaving now.

“Yeah. Yeah, I suppose. After you said what you did about girls looking at each oth--”

“I’m sorry.” Soodam interrupts. It seems perhaps that she’s trying to avoid mention of her potential homophobia. “Yes, it’s a date.”

You smile. She may be rude but at least she’s cute and to the point. “So does that mean you’ll be showing me a cute, romantic time tonight?”

The first sign of emotion you’ve seen out of her today appears. A rosy blush spreads across her cheeks. You’re about to let her know that it’s a joke and you’re not trying to extort a romance out of her, but she makes a beeline for the door.

“Yes, I’ll make sure it’s romantic,” she says on her way. She doesn’t look back.

What a weird chick…

Once all of your equipment is packed up and ready to go, you get a single text telling you where to go and when. Looks like you’ve got a few hours to get ready.

* * *

Thankfully, the directions were easy to follow.

Soodam is standing outside the restaurant and, unlike you, she’s changed clothes: A tank top with a cardigan, both white, a short, pink skirt, and white sneakers. She could certainly be described as cute, but the cute look is undercut by her nervous fidgeting. Her entire demeanor is different from the way it was at the studio.

In fact, she barely, sheepishly greets you, “Hi… Follow me.”

You do exactly that. “Well hello Soodam,” you say to her back.

She doesn’t meet your eye when you reach your reserved table either, but gestures for you to sit.

“No, not there!”

You pause, half-crouched. “Oh. Uh, wrong table?”

“No, I mean… Please sit here, on this side.” Her gestures frantically change direction to the opposite side of the table.

Weird might have been too tame a word to describe Soodam. But even so, you swap to the other side of the table and she sits across from you. Wordlessly and with her head down, she holds out a menu to you with both hands.

After a moment of looking it over, entirely in silence, you decide to try and break the ice. “So, Soodam. What was this you were telling me about chicken feet?”

“You… don’t have to order chicken feet. But this place makes the best chicken feet. You should definitely try it, because… You should definitely try it.”

That might be the most you’ve ever heard her speak. Too bad she said it to her feet.

Options for Part 6:

(Picked:) Clearly she wants you to order the chicken feet. Order the chicken feet.

Actually, you’re in the mood for a different kind of spice. Order the teokbokki.

Go in a totally different direction! Order the salmon.

Moments later, a waiter comes by and asks if you’re ready. Hoping to avoid any more awkwardness, you ask for the house special chicken feet. Soodam asks for the same.

And then, nothing really happens. You look around the restaurant. The wood of the seats goes all the way to the ceiling, but with large gaps in between slats. There’s very much an industrial type look throughout. Or their designer was lazy. Behind you there are a couple empty tables and a person with their hoodie obscuring their eyes. To the side, a few more people sitting at individual tables, dressed as if they had just come directly from bed. Seems to be a pretty slow day.

Minutes worth of silence has you bored and anxious. You don’t know what to say to Soodam, or even if you should say anything. You’d be at home editing the day’s photos with a bowl of ramen if you weren’t here now. And Soodam is obviously not much of a talker. You look down at your phone both to check the time and see if anybody’s sent you an urgent enough text that you can get back out of this.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see some movement from Soodam though. You don’t think much of it until she reaches out with lightning speed and snatches your phone-wielding hand.

Her eyes are wide, and her lips are twitching like she’s trying to come up with something to say, but isn’t able to make any noise.

“I, uh, shouldn’t check my phone?” you ask.

“No. I mean… no. I mean we should talk. Right? This is a date, and we should talk.”

Soodam’s words aren’t very convincing, especially since she keeps looking nervously to the side between them.

“Yeah, what do you want to talk about?”

The lip and eye twitching continues. It looks like she’s struggling to smile. “What time… are you from?”

She releases your hand and hangs her head low enough you can just see her nose through her hair. Before you can ask what she means, she speaks again. “I mean do you have any questions for me?”

Options for Part 7:

Questions? Um yes. Is she alright? What happened to the photoshoot confidence?

No, you don’t have any questions. You want to see where she was going with that.

(Picked, you nerds:) A few. What’s her name, her quest, and the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Ask if she wants to see some of the photos you already edited… in public.

A grin splits your face. “Yeah I’ve got a few. What’s your name?”

Soodam looks back up, obviously confused. “Lee Soodam. You knew that.”

You nod. “Okay. What is your quest?”

From somewhere in the restaurant you hear someone snicker. It seems they can hear you and already get the reference. Soodam definitely doesn’t. Her mouth continues to twitch as she desperately searches for whatever words might constitute a real answer.

“To… date… you? I don’t know what y--”

You interrupt for the final question. “What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?”

Somebody behind you bursts into laughter, followed by a loud "African or European?!" In that same moment, Soodam winces in pain and clutches her ear. You've seen enough romantic comedy movies to know what's going on.

You look back and make eye contact with the laughing girl. She has frizzy, faded orange hair and a hoodie which, you realize, was previously concealing her face. She stops laughing, whispers something down her shirt, and runs out of the restaurant.

Soodam looks absolutely mortified when you face her again.

"So who was that?" you ask, trying not to sound confrontational.

There's a long pause before she answers. "Denise."

At least she's not a liar.

"Can I see your ear?"

Trembling like a leaf, Soodam turns her head. You hadn’t noticed thanks to some very clever makeup, but there's a cord partially disguised as part of her earring.

"Were you hoping to get like, walked through the date or something?"

Soodam nods and hangs her head.

“You know,” you say, putting a hand on the table as if you’re going to stand up, “if you’re uncomfortable with this, we can go…”

“No!” She grabs your hand and yanks the cord away from her ear. There’s a patch of bare skin left over by some stage tape. “I’ve never been with a girl before and I don’t actually girls I mean go on dates in the first place and I’m very cute I mean you’re cute and I’m very nervous is what I meant to say please don’t leave we can do anything you want you’re actually very cute.”

Well now you know why she normally speaks so slowly.

Options for Part 8:

(Picked:) Get her to tell you more about herself. That’s the kind of thing a date is for, isn’t it?

Dates with you tend to include sexy times too… Where’s the bathroom in this place?

You smile. “That’s... Well that’s good to hear, Soodam.”

You take your hand off the table and settle back in. Soodam’s mouth just twitches some more for about half a minute.

“You, uh, blew your whole load on that outburst, didn’t you?”

She droops into her seat, slowly pulling her hand away from yours. “Yes. I’m… Sorry.”

Not entirely content with the idea of dipping into another extremely awkward few minutes, you snatch her hand before she can get too far away, just like she did with you. “Hey! Don’t be sorry! I didn’t realize you were taking this so seriously. How about I lead the conversation a bit more and see if that helps you out?”

Soodam nods and trains her eyes on yours. “That… yes, please.”

“Well let’s start with something simple. I promise this one’s not a joke. What’s your favorite color?”

Leading the conversation turns out to be a challenge in and of itself. Soodam seems content (that is, as content as someone with the nerves of a meerkat can be) to answer your questions simply and efficiently, and doesn’t give you much to latch onto. Topics that don’t exactly spark anything in her up until your food arrives include family, school, and vacation destinations.

But the food itself makes her eyes glitter.

“You a big fan of chicken feet?” you ask. It’s rhetorical since you can see drool starting at the corners of her mouth.

Her sudden enthusiasm shocks you awake. “Yes! I love it! See, this is how you eat it, first...”

Soodam’s hands are a blur, grabbing utensils, disposable gloves, and bowls, all while describing the step-by-step process of optimizing the flavor of chicken feet. Before you know it, she’s holding a large, steaming spoon in your face, loaded with rice, sauce, and jiggling chicken cartilage. She stares into your eyes expectantly. It’s a slightly creepy look when it’s not accompanied by a smile, but you’ve already come to expect the awkwardness.

You open your mouth wide and she gently places the food in your mouth. The salt hits you first, then the herbs. You chew carefully since it’s still hot and experience that ever so slightly chewy texture. Then comes the burn. You feel your sinuses clear out and your eyes are watering within seconds. This shit is way hotter than you expected.

“Do you like it?” Soodam asks before you even have time to process all of the sensations.

Options for Part 9:

Of course you like it! This restaurant was a good choice.

Nah, you’re not really that big on chicken feet, but you hope she likes it!

(Picked:) You’ll have to answer that after you ICE YOUR TONGUE WHERE’S THE SODA

You cough once. That’s all it takes for the spice to coat every nook and cranny of your throat. It’s not like you don’t have your fair share of experience with spice, but something in this blend was clearly harvested from one of the rings of hell, because you can already feel your butt clenching in anticipation of the next few days of pain.

Your vision is foggy from the pain and glassy from the tears simultaneously, vaguely like a mirage. You’d call the combination a brilliant grey if you didn’t feel the severe need to pay a surprise visit to Starship Medical and get the blood ties behind your eyes checked out.

“Are you okay?” Soodam asks. Her voice sounds a little distant, like you’re recovering from the sound of a couple of gunshots being fired off on either side of your head.

“Y-hhh I’m fine,” you hiss. The way you’re fanning your eyes probably doesn’t project the same message. “All good vibes here!”

Soodam’s lips are quivering again, you’re pretty sure. “I… let me get you some water!”

It’s not a bad plan. You haven’t had to worry about this for a while, so you’re left trying to remember if water is supposed to help in this situation or make it worse. Or is that milk? Whatever, you already gambled on eating this cherry bomb of a chicken foot. What’s another roll of the dice on something ice cold? Fuck, even some mint chocolate ice cream would be paradise right about now.

At what feels like a caterpillar’s pace to you, Soodam gets a glass in your hand. You’re unsure of your coordination at the moment, but you yank it toward your face and find sweet relief in the refreshing, crisp taste of Coke Zero. Zero calories, zero sugar, great Coke taste! Together tastes better!

It seems the corporate sponsorship is staving off the pain for now. Things were getting a little meta there. You can still feel the spice at the back of your throat. It’s all but guaranteed to come back with a vengeance soon, but for Soodam, everything is worth it… you think. “Thanks,” you gasp.

“You’re… welcome. Sorry.”

“No, you’re fine Soodam. I needed this anyway. My pores were feeling clogged.”

“Really? I can… feed you more.”

You sigh.

Options for Part 10:

Yes, that was definitely not sarcasm. Please, she should feed you more.

(Picked:) You know, it’s funny, it turns out you’re not super hungry. She should eat the rest.

Okay, now she owes you one for attempted futaslaughter. Time for her to eat your ass.

“You know,” you say, still fanning your tongue between words, “It’s funny. It turns out that I’m not super hungry after all. You should eat the rest.”

Soodam’s eyes go wide. You’re sure you’ve said yet another thing to make her scared, nervous, or generally trepidatious, until she whispers, “All of it?”

You nod slowly. “Yeah? I mean if you want it all.”

Her gaze shifts from you to the bounty of food on the table and you think you see the twinkle of a forming tear. “A double order of chicken feet... The whole thing.”

“Um. Yes.”

Soodam sits back down, sparkling eyes fixed on the bounteous feast laid out before her. She lifts her various eating implements. Drool forms at the corners of her mouth. She glances up at you, still breathing briskly through pursed lips, and sets her utensils back down.

“I’m… being selfish. I’m sorry.”

“What? No really, I’m not hungry.”

“Thank you, but I mean all day today. I didn’t treat you like a real person at the salon. And now that we’re here I’m making it all about me.”

You’re a bit taken aback by the apparently very sudden self realization. You can only hope this is the last personality shift you see from Soodam. “Didn’t treat me like a person? I don’t know what you mean.”

Soodam sighs. Her eyebrows scrunch up in some inscrutable combination of frustration and sadness. “No, I… was nervous about the shoot, so I decided to treat you like you weren’t real. When you said you wanted a date… I panicked. I wanted my members to help me and I wanted to do everything like I was here alone… I didn’t take what you wanted into account.”

“Well, Soodam, that’s a little more explanation than I think you necessarily needed to provide, but I—members?”

“Yes. Of Secret Number. We… got rookie of the year a while ago.”

It’s no wonder. You’re always getting tied up in idols’ affairs. “And members? More than one?”

Soodam looks to the side. You follow her gaze. One of the people, a somewhat tan girl in an exercise outfit, sitting at a table near your booth looks back at you like a deer caught in the headlights. After a very awkward moment, she hops off her chair. “I’m going to—Oh hi by the way, I’m Dita. I’m gonna go. I know this is weird…”

“Hi Dita. Nice to meet you,” you say. No sense not being courteous.

“Nice to meet you too. Ummm, bye.” Dita slowly walks away as she gives Soodam the most hesitant half-smile, double-thumbs-up combo you’ve seen in a while.

You turn on Soodam once again. “Any more members? Or anyone else?”

She avoids your gaze. “No. Jinny and Lea... weren’t at the dorm.”

Options for Part 11:

(Picked:) It’s not the first time she’s said she’s nervous. Ask why. Surely the mood swings aren’t just because you’re cute.

You don’t need to know why she’s nervous. You can remedy that with a heavy, maybe naked make out session!

Wait. She wasn’t treating you like a human? Now that you know she’s an idol, that seems real high and mighty! Get out of there!

She probably just needs to air out her true feelings. Confess your love for her and suggest she do the same.

"So to be clear," you say, "You've never dated a girl before."

Soodam nods.

"But you said it's strange for girls to stare at each other."

Soodam nods.

"But you think I'm cute."

Soodam nods again.

"What am I missing that's making you so nervous then? Did the author miss a plot hole?"

Soodam starts nodding, but stops. Her eyebrows stitch together. “What?”

“Forget it. It’s just something I say sometimes. What’s got you so nervous?”

Without a hint of emotion in her voice, but plenty on her face, Soodam softly says, “I’m… an idol.”

“Yeah,” you say at a regular volume, “I gathered that in the last minute. What’s your point though?”

“There’s a dating ban.” Soodam tilts her head to the side as she explains. “And even worse, if it were to get out that I dated a girl… there would be trouble. Especially if people suspect that we...”

She stops speaking altogether. You’re fairly sure she would have said something about sex if she wasn’t Soodam. You lean back and think. It’s not that her point is wrong, exactly.

“Have you been to The Lounge, Soodam?”

Obviously confused, she slowly points at the entrance to the restaurant.

“No, and I think that’s a lobby. The Lounge is a cafe. I’ll take that as a no.”

Soodam shakes her head.

“Okay, so I think we should probably go there sometime so I can prove this point. Um. Yeah, you won’t get caught dating. Or doing anything for that matter.” The words come out of your mouth so fluidly it’s as if you’ve rehearsed this script.

“I don’t…”

“Well I guess if you try to get caught, you could do it.”

Now it’s Soodam’s turn to lean back, staring at you like you’re the crazy one. She still doesn’t have anything to say, so you do what you can to assure her.

“See, I’ve been working with idols for a while now. At least a few years. I’m telling you, idols regularly get up to the craziest stuff, and nobody ever gets caught.”

“That’s… absurd,” Soodam whispers. She’s not actually wrong, come to think of it. It’s not clear exactly how you and all of the idols you know get away with everything you’ve done and seen. But your confidence is unwavering.

You pull your phone out of your bag. “I understand the hesitation. Would you like to ask one yourself? I’ve got a hell of a contacts list. We can make it a video call.”

Soodam’s head tilt gets dangerously close to snapping her neck, but she looks down at your phone and back up, as if prompting you to go through with it.

Well alright. Who’s it going to be?

Options for Part 12:

(Picked:) Call Giselle and pray that SM doesn’t have her too busy to take the call.

Call Chuu and keep your fingers crossed that she doesn’t sound high.

Call Hani and try to count on her even remembering who you are.

Call Ryujin and hope she doesn’t seduce Soodam into leaving the date.

Call Minnie and presume that she won’t try to extort you for her help.

An SM idol seems like your best bet to convince someone that you have connections. And wouldn't you know it? Giselle is pretty close to the top of your contacts list.

Black Mamba plays quietly as you call. Soodam's eyes grow wide.

And there's no answer. Eventually the phone just shuts off. It doesn’t give you a chance to leave a voice message.

Now it's your turn to look nervous at Soodam. "Guess she must be bus—"

Your phone rings. Thank fuck, Giselle is calling back.

“Hey, what’s up? Sorry. I couldn’t reach my phone in time.”

Giselle’s face lights up your phone, only partially superimposed in the corner by the blank void where your selfie camera points back at your face. She’s wearing some strange, high fashion get up: An open jacket with pointy shoulders, half a pair of sunglasses (sun… monocle? sunmonocle), and a very very small fedora-like hat. She’s surrounded by dozens of staff in what looks to be yet another Givenchy promo shoot.

“Sup Jizzy? I’ve got a friend here who, it turns out, is an idol like you!" You turn the phone around. Soodam freezes like a deer in the headlights.

"Oooh! Girl, obviously I know Soodam."

Soodam slaps her hands over her mouth. You respond for her. "Really? How's that?"

"Secret Number is a big deal. You should know that. Besides, gotta keep an eye on those Japanese idols. If you don—" The phone cuts out for a moment. "—ut Lea's super chill from what I hear."

You laugh, partially to widen the break in Giselle’s speech. She can go on forever sometimes. "So here's the thing Jizzy. We're on a date, but Soodam is worried about getting caught."

"What? Why?"

You nod at Soodam, who hasn't so much as twitched. "You wanna tell her?"

She doesn't lower her hands, and barely whispers, "Dating ban…"

That's all Giselle needs, it seems, as she jumps back into it. "Oh don't worry about that. It's literally impossible to get caught. Check this out. Hey manager! Yeah! Hey! I just got a call from a chick with a gorgeous cock! You cool if I take a break to go meet up with her so she can eat me out?"

There's a moment of silence. Giselle seems to be waiting for a response. Soodam looks terrified, but that's nothing new. You're slightly shocked at having been randomly outed and at Giselle’s brazenness.

"Aw, he says no. But that's no surprise. I'm actually working right now. But look at that! A whole room of people heard me say that and their only concern is that I might take a break. Hey you! You heard me just now right? Why did I want a break again? Oh you don't remember? Shame. I wanted to go get fucked. By a futa gir—"

You quickly turn the phone back around.

Options for Part 13:

Interrupt Giselle. She shouldn't be pushing her luck with this weirdness! Shut up!

(Picked:) Ask Giselle when the next time is that you'll meet up to fuck. Kill two birds with one video call.

Hang up! You didn’t mean to reveal that to Soodam and now you need to do damage control.

"Hey! Hey! Jizzy! Shush! Don't push your luck," you hiss. Though, maybe like Giselle, you don't actually have to contain your voice. "But no, really. Not right now. I gotta go because I'm on a date, but when are we going to meet up next?"

"Like the next time you destroy my holes, you mean? You busy on Sunday?"

"Nope, let's do it! Text me a time."

"Ha, yeah girl! I'll see you then. Keep your cock warm in the new girl for m—Oh, good to meet you Soodam! Get my number from her and we can meet in person! Byyye!"

You smile, wave, and tap the button to hang up. What a fun girl, that Giselle…

Oh shit, that was a huge change in tone from the rest of the date.

You look up to see Soodam staring at you like a deer in the headlights. Or, you know, like Soodam.

You gingerly set the phone down next to you on the seat. "Sorry. Bad manners to talk to other people on a date."

She doesn't move. Actually, after spending a certain amount of time with Soodam, you think "deer in the headlights" might not be a strong enough idiom. She's like a… Buddha... mannequin.

"And sorry for not telling you a few other important factors about dati—"

"You're… poly?" Oh damn, Soodam can still speak.

"I guess that's one way to put it. It's hard to define, but that's a pretty efficient way to put it. I probably should have brought it up before the date, but I didn't want to sound too presumptu—"

"CanIjoin?" This girl is really getting into the habit of interrupting you. Wait.

"Sorry, what?"

"Can… I join?" Soodam speaks between inward breaths. She's going to explode soon if she doesn't exhale.

"Just like that? I mean this our first date, and…" Your tongue goes a little numb. You can't remember the last time you turned someone down. Is that even what you're doing?

"Yes. Can I." Intake. "Be one of." Intake. "Your girlfriends?" Her face is getting red, but you can't tell if it's because she's holding her breath or if it's your run of the mill blush. Probably both.

That was forward of her. You think.

Options for Part 14:

Yeah, you're turning her down. This date has been extremely… unconventional. Not interested.

Of course she can be one of your girlfriends. You've been trying to tap that this whole time.

(Picked:) Girlfriends? Poly? Hold up. You don't define your relationships. This requires a much longer discussion.

“I… um.” You stutter. But for the sake of Soodam’s presumably precious lungs, you should probably make up your mind.

“Sorry, Soodam. I really don’t want to reject you, and I’m not, but I don’t like putting labels on my relationships. It wouldn’t be fair to… some other people if I just said yes.”

Soodam’s lips quiver and her eyes start waterin—oh no, you made her cry! Fuck! That’s now how this is supposed to work! “No, Soodam! I’m sorr—“

“Ohthankgod,” she says through a quickly released breath. She leans over the table, clutching at her chest.

“Thank?”

“I don’t know what came over me… why I asked that. I’m not ready to date. I’m… Oh god, Giselle knew my name, and…”

You stare at the top of her heaving head. She didn’t mean it when she asked to be your girlfriend? Well, now you’re a little hurt. She sort of technically said you were cute earlier… “I mean, I’m not ready to date either. But, you know, like, I was really considering it. I would just need, like, some convincing.”

Soodam falls back against her seat, fanning her face, still working on regulating her breathing. “No, that’s okay… I really can’t date… Too weird.”

“Too weird? Is it about me being a futa? Because, like, that’s not always the ca—”

She interrupts, again, a little more in control of herself. “That’s not what I mean. It’s relationships. I can’t… take that much attention.”

You stare at each other for a few moments. “Like this?” you ask, realizing you’re being very attentive suddenly.

Soodam rips her eyes away from yours and nods rapidly. “I like the idea… of being with someone pretty like you.” You can feel your self esteem re-enter your body. “I just don’t think I can… love?”

Oooh, heavy.

“You still want to spend time together without being romantic?” you ask.

She looks back into your eyes just long enough to convey that she’s being genuine when she nods. You smile back and hold out your hand, a little off to the side to avoid dipping your elbow in hell’s favorite chicken feet sauce. “May I make a suggestion then? Like a real one.”

Soodam shifts under her cardigan into a slightly more relaxed pose. Her face still seems to be expressing some amount of consternation, but you’re starting to catch on to the concept that it might just be her permanent state of being, like it’s her personal twist on resting bitch face. But even so, the corners of her mouth twitch upward.

Options for Part 15:

You can just be good friends! With the single stipulation that you occasionally hold hands in public, no matter how lewd that is.

(Picked:) Come on. Say it with yourself now. Friends. With. Benefits. Ain’t nothing wrong with some emotionally aloof butt-fucking!

You know, you still have to pick and edit the stuff from her photoshoot, and you could use help. Ask if she wants to be your coworker!

"If you like the idea of, you know, being together," You pause to watch Soodam slowly nod. "But you don't want to do a relationship, which I also don't, to reiterate," You pause again. Same reaction. "But you are totally cool with maybe perhaps staying friends, which I love the idea of," She doesn't nod this time. Instead, one side of her mouth wiggles up. It may look a little hesitant, but it sure seems like the most genuine… or only smile you've seen from her today.

"We could maybe, if it's cool, try a situation like, say,"

"Gal pals?!" Soodam's outburst makes you jump a little, and gets some dirty looks from the surrounding restaurant patrons.

You take a second to process. "Wait, gal pals?"

Soodam nods, very enthusiastically now.

"I thought you didn't want the romance."

"What?"

"Gal pal is a romantically coded term."

"It just means… girls who are friends but has a secret connotation that they have sex sometimes."

"Who told you that?"

Soodam's smile fades. It was nice while it lasted. "I… looked it up."

"It's about… okay, you're technically correct, but the general implications is that the titular 'gals' who are being 'pals' are actually in a committed relationship with each other."

She snatches your hand, which you suddenly remember has been floating over the table for a while now. "No! That's not what… what do you call lesbian friends with benefits then?"

You smirk. At least you were going in the same direction. "Um, 'friends with benefits?' But there's space to make adjustments to the terminology."

"Are you sure it's not 'gal pals?' Why does it have to be romantic?" Soodam gives you an unexpectedly angry glare, catching you off guard. Her grip on your hand gets a little tight.

"I just—"

"Who told you that's the case?"

You suddenly don't recall. Maybe it's best to relent. "I… good point. Let's be gal pals then?"

The smile isn't so hesitant and lopsided this time. Her eyes make way for a single dimple. "Okay."

The rest of the date feels like more of a… well, a date. Soodam opens up and actually engages in conversation, even if she's still awkward and very to the point about most subjects. She annihilates the chicken feet throughout, not even noticing that you steal the occasional spoonful of rice (there's no way you'll be incinerating your soft palate just because you're a bit hungry).

A few times, she makes a little flirtatious move on you: a brush of the foot on your leg, a stroke of the finger on the back of your hand, a bite of the lip when you make eye contact. It's somewhere between juvenile and impossibly arousing. The sun has gone down outside by the time you even think to tear your eyes from her to look at the time. A skinny young man in an apron walks by and subtly reminds the two of you that the restaurant is trying to close, and you're the only ones left.

Outside, you catch a glimpse of the coffee shop across the street, Denise and Dita in the window. They're clearly still trying to evade detection, but being the only people with a reason to use binoculars at night in a public space gives them away.

Soodam catches your hand. "I guess this is bye for now."

"I guess so. I'm glad we met up, Soodam."

"Me too… pal." She grins far too widely at her single entendre. She turns you to fully face her and goes in for a hug, face pressed against your shoulder. You return the gesture, trying not to laugh at your own speculative mental image of her members' reaction on the other side of the street.

"Can we meet again soon?" she asks, muffled.

"Of course…" You remember a very good reason to meet again soon. "I have to get your pictures to you."

There's a long pause. Maybe mentioning several gigabytes of lewd and nude photos of your date isn't the best way to end the night. But then, the hint of mischievousness in her voice tells you it wasn't all that bad.

"Actually, can I… help you pick them?"

You pull away from the hug enough to see Soodam's lip-biting grin.

"Oh dear, Soodam. How suggestive."

The hug itself gets a little more suggestive when her fingers trail down and squeeze your ass. "I'm not suggesting anything… Are you?"

"Of course not. It will be a perfectly normal, friendly day of looking at your naked pictures."

"Day?"

"Or night. You pick."

"Hm. A day sounds good. That will give you more time to figure it out."

"Figure it out? Figure what out?"

Soodam's grip on your buttcheeks becomes extra brazen, curling inward and kneading. "That I won't be wearing panties, like today."

You feel like you should say something about how you no longer have to figure that out since she told you, but your curiosity and latent horniness overwhelm you. You start to reach for her butt to get your hands on it the same way her hands are on yours, or maybe you can go under her skirt. That perfect, bubble-round butt that you've tried so hard not to think about since arriving at the restaurant is so close! So ready for your touch!

But Soodam backs off. Your fingertips merely brushed her hips, and your own ass suddenly felt very lonely and unsqueezed. "Text me your address if you want me… to come over."

Even in your mild daze, you catch on. That particular pause was much more intentional than most. You shudder. This girl might be more seductive than she's been letting on.

"Friday. Yep, Friday is good. I'll send you my address tonight."

Before you can react, Soodam is millimeters away from your face. She gives you a chaste peck on the corner of your mouth and drops back. "Don't look at the pictures until then, okay?"

Soodam is walking away by the time you regain enough of your senses to speak again. The sway of her frustratingly opaque and barely too long skirt don't help."H-hey! What was the photoshoot for, anyway?"

You can barely make out the blush on her cheeks in the dim street light as she turns back to you. "I'll… tell you on Friday."

The anticlimactic answer pains you as much as the sight of her slowly shrinking silhouette. When she turns a corner, you finally get the unfortunate relief of not watching her.

Another day, a little more than just another photoshoot. It really was an interesting one.

Thank fuck for that overused plot device.

THE END

Heylo, thank you for bearing with joining me for another one of these! Sorry for the, uh, drawn out time frame. But like... it happens.

Anyway, on to the stuff!

Storyline unlocks:

[Soodam - PromiScoodam]

[Giselle - Ally]

Unpicked option facts:

Part 1: No lie, the studio was going to be called salon érotique regardless of the option picked. This is a SMUT.

Part 3: Damn, nobody wanted smut in this SMUT apparently. No votes for anything except the fluffy option. Obviously this would have been a very different story overall if not for this.

Part 4: If the vote had been to call her out for rudeness, I was going to write her as a more dominant personality moving forward.

Part 7: The Monty Python reference was not in my original outline. I hadn't thought of an option that would reveal Denise and Dita up to that point, so I tossed it in as half a joke. The no questions option was meant to make it more rom-com as she'd have stumbled around over two different explanations in her ear.

Part 10: While not a fun fact about the options, this part was fun to write because I accidentally incorporated a couple references to other writers' stories that I enjoyed, and eventually decided to go back and fill it with more of that.

Part 12: Calling Chuu and Hani were the "bad" options, resulting in Soodam not believing you. It wouldn't have ended the story, but would have made her very suspicious of you. Ryujin was a sex option because Soodam was going to get hot and bothered and basically jump you. And Minnie would have turned out much the same as Giselle, but I would have swapped Minnie out of Sorry for Shuhua (not for any good reason, but just to not repeat idols so quickly).

Part 13: Y'all caught me off guard with this vote. I thought you were trying to keep the story pure, but nooo. I had already started writing Part 14 as if one of the other two options had been picked, but then the overwhelming majority was like "Kk, sex talk time." Not that I especially mind, but it was a funny switch up.

72 notes · View notes

fangirleaconmigo · 2 years

Note

hello! i loved your metas about the the witcher books and i would love to read your opinion about something that i never truly understood about geralt and his characterization (especially based on his love for yen, that is plain in canon).

In the lady of the lake after he finds out yennefer never betrayed him (and was tortured by villegfortz) geralt has sex with fringilla in the stables. Do you think it was in character for him? and what do you think could be the reason for that behavior? cause i have to say... i almost didnt finish the books after reading that passage cause it made me hate geralt a lot. thank you so much if you decide to answer this!

Hello! Thank you! I waited until I got to that scene on a re-read so I could really pay attention and give you my thoughts. And I just finished it, so here they are. (this ask is in reference to this post about Yenralt)

BOOK SPOILERS (obviously, by for anyone else reading)

So, Geralt obviously is crushed by Yen's perceived betrayal when he initially hooks up with Fringilla. He is explicitly bitter and cynical about love in several situations. We are supposed to see very clearly how devastated he is.

But why he has sex with her in the stables after he knows that Yen is imprisoned and being tortured? I don't know. When I first read it, I thought it was a scene similar to the one with Essi.

In the stables, Fringilla is standing there shrieking at him about how he has devastated her. He tends to buckle like wet cardboard under such circumstances out of discomfort and guilt.

You can also interpret it as something he does to make sure there is no chance that she suspects he is lying to her about Vilgefortz's location. He does beat her at her own game, which is quite satisfying.

But they do make a point afterwards to say that Geralt feels "wonderful." That he doesn't feel guilt. That sex clears his mind and gives him physical energy. That the only thing he regrets is that he isn't going to get to have sex again for a long time.

So, no matter why he does it, whether he did it out of guilt, calculating strategy, or whether he was just horny, he doesn't feel bad about it, on the contrary.

I think we're supposed to accept that he is just Like That. Many times, over and over, we are told that Geralt separates love and sex. That he has sex for any number of reason, but never out of love, except in the case of Yen. And in this case, that he feels totally fine having sex with Fringilla because it isn't real cheating, because it is just sex, not love. I don't think it's too much of a leap to interpret it that way, especially when you get to the scene later, when Yen asks him about it.

When Yen asks him if he cheated on her, he fully lies with no compunction saying he didn't cheat, "not once." She says she doesn't believe him, (she saw him cheat on her in her visions, so she already knew) so he corrects himself by saying, "I only ever thought about you, Yen." And that, she believes. So, that distinction matters to him. He seems to think it was just sex is a sufficient explanation.

As to whether it's in character, I don't know. I mean, he seems to angst about having sex with Essi, and he and Yen aren't even together! And he tells Triss she was a mistake, and turns her down later. So, he takes responsibility and seems to feel regret, even when he shouldn't. If he is anything, it is abundantly sensitive, and he takes too much responsibility for the feelings of others.

But the books do paint him as a bit of a fuckboi sometimes. For example, their first breakup, there is no indication that they are having any issues. Yet, he walks out on her while she's asleep without a word because, as he tells a dubious Nenneke, Yen is too clingy. She is utterly crushed. But hey, you're allowed to leave people. That's just life, right? HOWEVER, he doesn't speak to her or try to contact her for years, yet the next time he sees her on the dragon hunt, he tries to get in her pants straight away, without even acknowledging that he left her and that she might be upset or hurt.

Then when he goes to the Thanned ball with her, and he KNOWS she is surrounded by vipers who hate her and are absolutely gagging to see her humiliated in some way, he very still openly gapes at everyone's boobs in front of gods and country.

Also, even though I don't see the sex with Triss as consensual, since I feel like the presence of magic as an aid to 'seduce' him is inherently nonconsensual, I don't think the narrative agrees with me. It says he wanted warmth and to forget. It gives him that agency. (Though, full disclosure, I don't see it that way.) So, we are supposed to believe that he has already cheated on Yen with her best friend.

So, I don't know. I think it's possible to make the case for either. But it hurts, man. As a reader, we know how horrifically Yen is being tortured and assaulted. So, to see him be like...WELP THAT SEX WAS AWESOME GOOD JOB ALL AROUND, PEOPLE, I'M READY TO GO SAVE YEN...it's painful.

I know there are many people who would read this and feel compelled to be like YEAH BUT YEN DID XYZ TO HIM. But I don't see it as a contest where you pick sides or teams. They're fictional. It's a story. And the witcher saga is telling a very particular story. It is saying that life is inherently messy and people are all flawed, and there are no perfect relationships or fairy tale endings. There is always a thorn on the rose. But ahhh. It hurts.

And tbh, I hope they don't put it in TWN. Firstly for Fringilla's sake. I love interesting, dynamic female characters with motivations having nothing to do with men. And in the books, several powerful woman chars seemingly exist just to be obsessed with, then rejected by Geralt. I hate it. I want more for them. I want more for Fringilla. She is so publicly humiliated by how he fakes her out. (I think it's heavy handed to drive home the point that he doesn't love her, so we still root for him and Yen) And TWN has expanded Fringillas role (I know they also made her more evil, but that's a different topic) and hopefully they won’t have her be the scorned Geralt simp 😭

ALSO, since (IMHO) TWN hasn’t done Yenralt justice, I think putting their cheating in the story would ruin anything the audience feels for them as a couple. You have to take a lot more time than they have to establish the love if you want people to understand why folks stick around after cheating, and imo they haven't done that. So idk, I hope they just cut it out. I want them to finally have a real bonding arc, not more betrayals. Otherwise its just tedious to watch.

(See, I’m not always a book purist lol)

#the witcher #yenralt #yennefer of vengerberg #Geralt of rivia #asks

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darkiepurple · 2 years

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(Based off the second chance AU I made, look for the story it’s my first post if you need context)

Finney leaning against Robin’s back as they’re both faced away from each other, sitting on Robin’s bedroom floor. Finney’s doodling in a school notebook and Robin is messing with an action figure.

The room was completely silent, Finney has been awfully quiet for the past few months. At least that’s what it’s been like for Robin, in reality it’s only been 3 days for Finney. Finally Finney’s voice interrupts the silence,”I’m sorry.” His voice was soft, and dripping with bitterness.

Robin’s head perks up,”Sorry for what?”

Finney is sorry for a lot of things. Things Robin doesn’t know about. He’s sorry that he hasn’t been himself, he’s sorry that he doesn’t stand up for himself, and most of all he’s sorry for what happened to Robin and many others. It no longer exist except for in Finney’s mind. He’s making an empty apology to something Robin doesn’t even remember and never will because in this reality it never happened and hopefully never will.

He’s also sorry for not being honest about how he feels for Robin, he knows Robin has been dropping hints since they were kids. Maybe he’s avoiding it cause he’s scared. A soft sigh escapes his lips, before gently closing the notebook he was doodling in. “I’m sorry for a lot of things.” He mumbles, leaning deeper into Robin’s back. “I thought maybe…” His lips shut, he couldn’t speak. He thought maybe if he saved them all, everything would return to how it used to be.

Finney’s eyes were becoming warm with a new set of tears. It seemed like almost 24/7 he was crying now, maybe he’s holding too much. “You thought maybe what?” Robin asked, still mindlessly messing with said action figure from earlier. Finney stared at the book in his hands. Robin doesn’t even realize something is wrong, that right now Finney was crumbling behind him. “I uh…” Finney’s voice broke subtly,”I thought that maybe if I distanced myself I wouldn’t hurt you.” He had to make up something on the spot, although maybe there is some truth in what he’s saying.

“Why would you ever hurt me, Finn?”

Finney doesn’t know how to answer that question. His vision was blurry as he stared off into absolutely nowhere. Quietly, he placed the book on the floor before turning himself to face the back of Robin. His head lazily laid upon his shoulder, breathing in deeply but breathing out softly he said,”Because maybe you won’t be able to love me anymore. Because I’m different.”

#the black phone #finney blake #finney the black phone #robin arellano #robin the black phone #finney x robin #angst #sadnees #puking and crying #Finney needs a break #just kiss already and cuddle goddamn

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heyitslapis · 10 months

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what sort of gemsona would you assign me 🙈

HULLO! OMG I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY *cracks knuckles*

***Long post warning, lots of info-dumping ahead. TL;DR answers at the bottom

I have SEVERAL ideas, so at least you have plenty of options/inspiration! I'll include both the gem itself along with any appearances that are canon to SU to give you reference. We'll start where I feel like a lot of people (myself included) start: with your birthstone(s), Ruby & Onyx!

July birthstones are traditionally Ruby, but these days most months have a 2nd stone. So you could choose traditional Ruby or the newer Onyx! (unfortunately there are no canon Onyxes in SU that I'm aware of) Rubies in-show are common soldiers used as a lighter personal guard or for quick low-level missions. They're short, coming in at around 4ft tall. Their personalities vary, but some traits we see repeatedly in the show are that Rubies get distracted easy, are often forgetful, fairly naive/easily deceived, stubborn, rowdy, goofy, a bit hot-headed & loyal to a fault! The Rubies below are all wearing similar/same Homeworld uniforms, but even so you can tell all of them apart, either by gem placement, certain accessories, variants in their outfits/hair color/skin color, or by their personalities!

Next are gems that have canon concepts/appearances that fit your vibe: Starting out strong with Sapphire!

Sapphires are what we would consider Royalty & closely resemble Princesses. They're one of Homeworld's Aristocratic Gem types, used mainly for diplomatic affairs or for their Future Vision, an ability that allows them to see the most probable outcome of a situation. As far as I know, its assumed that all Sapphires have this foresight, but it can vary, like how Padparadscha can only see what was, not what will be (though her variance is caused by being off-color, a term used to describe Gems that differ from the Mould Homeworld has for them). Sapphires are the same height as Rubies (around 4ft) & personality-wise tend to be more reserved, quiet, thoughtful, introspective & have a diplomatic way of looking at things. They tend to be more compassionate than most Gems of their status & their Future Vision helps them easily draw conclusions or make plans/decisions.

Morganite:

Not much is know about Morganite in-universe, since she never had a canon appearance beside her concepts in the art book. The little bit we do know about Morganite is that she was the Owner of the Ruby & Pearl that make Rhodonite, & her role on Homeworld is being a designer for the Diamonds' palanquins. Morganites are assumed to be high status Gems, like Sapphires & Aquamarines, on account of the Morganite above owning a Pearl & having her own personal guard (both signs of high status on Homeworld). Based on the concept art, her height would be just above that of a Ruby or Sapphire ( probably around 4'6"-5'0" ft). Fun fact: irl Morganites, Aquamarines & Emeralds are just a few of the handful of gems that are part of the Beryl family!

Speaking of, the next Gem on my list for you is: Pearls!

Pearls are considered status symbols on Homeworld. Only Gems of a high Aristocratic status own Pearls, like Morganites & Diamonds. Though it's assumed that Pearls may also be gifted to a Gem that performs exceptionally well or accomplishes great feats for the Diamonds. The Pearl will typically be customized by or for the Gem she's being made for, either mirroring her owner's appearance or matching their aesthetic in some way. This is done in the Reef, a Pearl production center owned by White Diamond. Pearls are known to entertain by either singing or dancing for other Gems, and will typically hold items for their master by storing said items in the pocket dimension inside their gemstone, as well as provide other forms of utility or assistance for their owners (like if unpaid interns were immortal). It's assumed Pearls stand at around 6'0"-6'6" feet tall & are always portrayed with a slender or lanky body type. Pearls are refined, elegant, graceful (usually), intelligent, determined, dedicated, handy & can almost easily pick up any skill/hobby. Pearls all seem to have distinct personalities, but share many of the same traits listed above.

Lapis Lazuli (one of my personal faves):

Lapis Lazulis are used as terraformers sent from planet to planet by Homeworld during early stages of colonization to rebuild planets to be ideal for Gems to inhabit. Not much is know about their societal status, but they're very powerful Gems for how small their frame is. Lazulis are shown as shorter than Pearls but taller than Rubies, so they're presumable around 5'5"-6'0" tall. Personalities vary, but the few that we've seen have consistent traits of; stubbornness, being somewhat reserved, self-assured/confident, determination, fighting spirits, no-nonsense (at least at first impression) & can be judgy, but are also whimsical & friendly once they warm up. Their main abilities are flying with water wings that they make, hydrokinesis, & the ability to make ice.

An honorable mention of this category: Moonstone

Very little is known about Moonstones- even less than we know about Morganites -as all we have to reference her is the two photos above. The one thing we do know is that Moonstones have invisibility. These Gems are smaller in stature, but approximate height is unknown. This one makes me think of you based on the irl stone more than the SU version, but its in this category since there is visual canon references.

Lastly, there are a few stones that I associate with you just based on your personality & overall vibe. When I think of stones that are "you", these also come to mind! We have;

Opal (left)! Fascinating, colorful, a unique stone that is dazzling, stands out from most other stones & gives a fantasy/otherworldly vibe. The only canon Opal is a fusion, but we've learned that in-universe there are stand-alone Gems as well as the fusions (since fusions name themselves, they're not actually related to the stand-alone Gems)

Moldavite (right)! Gets a bad rap, is actually a really nice stone! Very unique in formation & the earthy dark green reminds me of you! To me, instead of cottage-core earthy vibes, Moldavite is more witchy, forest sorceress vibes.

Moss Agate/Tree Agate (respectively). Agates in-universe are typically big buff Gems, standing between 7-9ft tall. They're typically soldiers, guards, protective escorts or sent on missions that require lots of muscle. The SU Agate body type/personality may not fit you, but the stones above remind me of you because of the earthy/foresty aesthetic!

Lastly, one that I think of when I think of Gemsonas for you is Angelite! Mostly because of the angelic, ethereal feminine vibe I get from this stone.

As promised, the TL;DR: If you were to ask my humble & professional opinion as someone who loves rocks & loves Steven Universe, my personal opinions on stones that would suit you best for a potential Gemsona (out of the 13 I listed) are; Moonstone, Pearl, Morganite, Angelite, Lapis Lazuli, or Opal.

Don't let my opinion sway you on what you want the most though! And don't let the canon designs deter you from choosing one that really speaks to you! Many people's FanGems look completely different from the canon versions. Same goes for what the Gem's job is or what their personality is like. At the end of the day, a Gemsona/Gem OC is yours to play around with, & with that you have the freedom to do whatever you want with them forever!

#sorry it took me so long to answer this as you can see from my fucking essay thats why it took me a while to get around to it #i knew it was gonna be a lot bc i had so many ideas in my head also im sorry this was a lot & sorry if it didnt help you to narrow it down #i do hope it helps you though!! have so much fun!!!!!#beloved mutuals #heyitslapis gets asks #steven universe #gemsona help #gem oc help #steven universe oc #steven universe gemsona #gemsona #gem oc #su oc #long post

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tortadecuchufli · 9 months

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I'm not sure if this is going to make sense at all. I'm just airing some thoughts as someone with,,,, some visual impairment. I struggle to measure it in terms of impact but it certainly is noticeable among my peers I guess. Nor really the point of the post.

Anyways I remember some months ago I was reading some stats on folks with visual disabilities and I keep going back to the relationship of it and neurodivergence, particularly autism. And that does speak to me at times the more i researched it.

Except like, signs that under normal circumstances would make people consider the diagnosis get then attributed to sight related problems. I rarely do eye contact, so someone asks if I have a problem with my vision and i guess the answer is yes! It IS that... partially. My eyes get kinda shaky when I consciously try to look at you and read your face.

But also I really feel an aversion to do it unless it serves a function (like holding a conversation in sign language). It just feels like extra noise and I need to turn it off. Obviously that causes problems. Significant ones. I know people think I'm not paying them attention and that this preconception frames anything I do as a little hostile to them. I could go off on the ways I tend to misread people based on visual clues, movements or even how they try to transmit the visual representations in their head.

And functionally this and other things probably do make me ND but it is hard to let others see it that way. Because it may just be an eye thing to them, a quirk I can turn off like a faulty machine part.

I've realized it is kind of pointless to focus too much on whatever hypothetical cause it is, because whatever it is, I've grown with it and so my body and brain have co-evolved. That's how I see it. I'm not fixing my eyes, the things I do make me able according to my own standards. And you just can't change brains at their core.

But in terms of accommodations I DO still need... Something, not sure what exactly, to be able to move around the social world.

(reblogs are off but i do appreciate any reply of acknowledgement even if it's to say you don't understand my point of view)

#i don't wanna bring this up irl #the scrutiny you need to go through is still a little too much.#and my field of work deals with people a lot and they expect me to be good at reading Subtleties in people #Which I can do with interviewees and likely future clients bc that is like. a conscious and methodical task #but i dont do it in my day to day life #the athlete doesn't jog everywhere they go #all im saying is that people with sensory disabilities are at disadvantage to read social clues and the world hates us for it #and. we should consider accommodating that aspect as well.#instead of scrutinizing the brain for something Extra #who knows if id be neurotypical if i had been fully sighted from birth or not but the reality is im not doing so well as it is.#personal

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abyssalpriest · 10 months

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30 Days of Them #1

Introduce us to your God, but do not use Their name.

Contrary to my usual nonfiction vision-based posting, this will be answered by me alone and so I'll answer with a story, a reformulation of my experiences and opinions on him separately from him himself: I give you a dream. Three.

-----

There will always be at least three introductions before you have met him.

---

MEETING ONE:

The invitation comes to you in the form of a text message: "Ugh man I know this is a weird request, but one of the spirits I channel has been really insistent on meeting you. Like. Really insistent. Do you want to meet say next Thursday and entertain him for a hot minute so he gets off my back?"

It doesn't really matter what you reply. Whether you're busy next Thursday and so need to reschedule, too anxious to meet at a cafe sitting face-to-face, or the ocean's tug tells you to circumvent the day like a car avoiding roadkill, there is a gateway that is opened by the keys in his mind and shrouded in an impenetrable haze of possibility. The haze will condense like threads into strings, it's just a matter of where. The world's axis pins down the meeting, aligns the throat with the food as it cuts off the airways.

The meeting goes well though, unexpectedly. What you gather is both not a lot of details and an awful lot of details of this spirit at the same time, introduced with a name that you don't forget but means nothing to you. A human name. Disposable. Clearly by his mannerisms gentle and controlled he is an older gentleman, deceptively serious up until each and every moment even the smallest joke or meme makes him laugh. It's a liquid intersection of casualness wrapped around and through a sense of being withdrawn which loops, blurred, straight back into casualness. He is quiet, soft-spoken like you were the only two in the room, serious until you start to understand the gleaming melody of his personality, easily entertained, intelligent, empathetic, entirely approachable. Yet he skirts the boundary between personality and pure intellect; a deep and pointed, mechanical intelligence like the keen eyes of a wolf shines though the conversation in odd places when hit with the right kind of light.

At once he is both entirely involved in your conversation as much as a friend your age would be and also, like the occasional, very slight bird-like head tilt implies, watching you hawk-eyed... Not as in he is dissecting your words, not hovering over for any mistakes nor imposing pressure on you, but instead in the way that he is occasionally picking up on something, somewhere, that you don't see, like the spark of a movement of a distant rabbit in the fabric of your words you're barely conscious of. If you were in his head or knew him extensively you would know he can be entirely poker-faced to an unsettling, inhuman degree if he does not want you to see into his thought process; the movements keying you in to a dissection are a conscious choice to let something slip into your mind.

You laugh at memes, talk about human politics, about your area and local history, you talk about your family and friends... He doesn't have a lot to say on his own people and experiences, his channeller, he says, is anxious about those sorts of religously-declarative statements and isn't well-anchored and practiced enough to confidently bring them across. He is right, but if he really wanted to have a dual-sided conversation he would've pushed.

The rabbit-preys he harvested from your words are released from his claws when he returns back to his own body and plane, ready to be eaten piece by piece.

You mentioned your mother works in a restaurant nearby, the perfect opportunity to ask: "Oh, I hear restaurants are a hard business to be in nowadays. How is she doing there?". You answer in the human way of personalising the problem and speaking through the people involved, you talk about how she feels and how it has been affecting her long and short term, and about how her home-life issues get amplified in the space. He knows your mother. You provided an opportunity to glean information about your relationship to her and her possible current states.

When asked about the "cute church down the road", you mentioned something about your family going to church and you being sick of it, your current religious beliefs if only briefly. An insight into religious workings and weavings, what you seem to need from it at this point.

He slipped in a comment on your politics: "That's quite similar actually to how fae do things - though, oh, you humans tend to work more with the angels in this area though, right? I suppose you wouldn't know much about fae." It wasn't about those species he asked about. You answered with details about your own run-ins or possible run-ins with certain spirit types, paranormal and unexplained events, your own studies on these things. He strikes pins through your words into a board, realigning your words into a map of an understanding about your current abilities, belief systems, connection to your local area spirits, family spirit guides, and more.

His mind recalls the energy of each of your words like a bloodhound on a scent, watching your aura flare and die down, watching it speak the things between your words you didn't know how - or didn't want to - verbalise. Your suggestions, your mannerisms; the meeting face-to-face is never about revealing his hand but instead a hunt up high watching for the movements down below. He wanted to meet you, yes, and meet you he has. Getting used to someone's energy is a fun thing especially when it's through a channeller, you get eyes into lives and ways of living you never seeas a King on a throne in the thick, damp earth of the Underworld's energy. But he isn't one to waste an opportunity, too keen to not thread your conversation into answering his questions like a sheepdog threads sheep into the farmer's fields.

It would be wrong however to say that it is one-sided. Unless he has a keen distaste for or reason to distrust you, he isn't one to pull on a completely new mask and obscure every trait of his to extract information. If you were to go back through his words and body language you would find that he plays a subtle game of leaving hints. Lingering on speaking of his family's affairs, his brothers, mentioning the ocean, the sky, the weather; his opinions drip with pertinent metaphors of his reaching mind and energies, his recountings of himself and his actions entirely true, he only leaves out the names... In a way he reveals himself to you if you know what to look for. Chances are, however, you do not know what to look for yet.

---

MEETING TWO:

You find yourself walking home, suddenly aware. Aware of what? It's a general sense, but there are things to pick out of your surroundings. The wind seems a little too strangely in flow with your thoughts as it bristles at the anger in your internal monologue, but it's not about the wind. It's almost like the wind is the glove within which a giant hand has brushed against you in acknowledgement. It is fleeting though.

The radio playing in a car as it drives past is warbled as if it underwater. The puddles on the ground reflect blue sky despite your situational understanding telling you up to that point that the sky was all grey, no, you look up, blue has begun to pull open the clouds with clawed hands.

There is a storm coming though, insistent and growling despite - and with - the patches of blue that emerge. The air feels like it is fluid; you become aware of the creeping sensation that you are walking on the bottom of a lake that is old and settled and therefore crystal clear. Swaying, back and forth, gentle movements. The weather curls around itself and its environment like long appendages grasping, weaving, leaves as paint through water spiralling, a dance between the Sky and the laws of physics themselves.

There is a sense that you need to get inside. In your mind, suddenly aware of the weather in ways you haven't been before, some part of you tells you that electricity is building. "The way it curls around itself must create static", "The wind feels saturated with rain, it must be coming soon". Something within you is telling you to get inside. You're not home yet though, not near it you say, soon. And so the impulse changes with a bending and breaking energy from "get inside" to "walk with me then", as if that was the point all along.

You walk. The rain begins. Slow at first, the wind as a glove rising and feeling cold and cohesive as the surface of water pushing against your movements... But with you. There's an increasing sense of rhythm and movement like a herd of horses jogging past - you realise they are jogging in relation to you, following you. The rain increases in heaviness so slowly as if agonisingly drawing itself out so that you have to become more an more aware of it, as if you needed to, at each and every minute stage, acknowledge how it currently is and how it is getting heavier and heavier before it will actually do so.

Wind, rain, curling weather, racing horses. The world is interacting in a way more cohesive manner than it usually is. You feel suddenly aware of something pulling everything together, no longer is the weather a disparate set of flags flying in the wind, now the cloth of the flags is interwoven to be the outfit of something greater. He feels like he is in everything - "he"? Who is "he"?

The rain gathers. It sings a progressing song with your footsteps, winding around you like a cat winds around your legs. The sky becomes bigger and more detailed than you have ever noticed before, rippling, fractalising drama between stark, cold grey masses and firey soft cotton balls. You are under an ocean heavier and yet lighter than any other. You are eclipsed, small, accutely pointed at as being human, out of place. The clouds dance around the emerging and disappearing sun like slow blinking eyelids. Yet also you are likely the only one under these clouds that knows it.

Finally, the door to your house is within your grasp before the storm has even reached close to its creschendo and it near-begs to be let inside; it pushes the door wide open, yet the air inside your house is unmoving, untouched, absent. Dead and silent compared to the cacophonic presence electrifying every molecule outside with a life so much more ancient and bigger than you, it almost feels like the wrong choice to go inside and shut it out but you must. As you do so, the weather curls away, racing with itself, the horses dance and the first flash of lightning occurs like the sun hitting the surface of the ocean you swam in.

---

MEETING THREE:

The wind scrapes at the window like a forgotten dog, the clouded night more an endless city of smog than a restful, natural black. The room is soft lit, its shadows ebbing and flowing with light rather than fleeing from it. The entire world becomes a manifestation of the moments before cozy sleepiness slips into dreams. Outside it is wild, hypnotic trees swaying and the threat of rainfall, the howling of the sky between leaves and wrapping around buildings, racing; the world is already asleep and dreaming of itself dancing to a song that has descended, beat by beat, across the land like lovers entwined in bed. Yet everything feels present. Lucid dreaming awake.

In the simmering, sleepy room tthere is a black silhouette in your mirror that sits behind yours, wide-brimmed hat, and the distinct vision of, despite the entirety being pitch black, round black sunglasses. Still. Unmoving. There's a recognition in you that this is something much more than what you are seeing, a great... Thing - there are no words in the English language to label them - that is almost wearing this silhouette form like a tiny 2D mask. When you look upon them you see so many things unveiling in your consciousness like the bloooming of a giant chrysanthemum with arms for petals; the dusk ocean crashes dimmed computer-screen blue into your mind drowning it in its roar, the deer in a forest somewhere scatter at your presence with their antlers distorted into arms and their legs into sticks, the sky emanates a clockwork churning, the stars twirl slowly with smiling faces greeting something behind you that you can't turn to see. The beginnings of letters and numbers rise through your brain like bubbles from an underwater vent, text in a colour you cannot pinpoint on a sea of black.

Hands and arms move across your walls like spiders crawl. You are not afraid though.

In this being, in these series of visions, in all the wildness and immensity, is a soothingly gentle emotion of familiarity. "Familiar", like the word "family". There is an increasing awareness brewing that something is out of place and it is speaking - trying to tell you - measures to you about how you interact with the world. Why would these visions be so scary in other situations, and yet here they're just calmly intimidating and immense? Ask. Why these visions specifically? Ask. Who is this? Ask. And finally you will be given an understanding if you just reach out...

Understanding. The mind brims with new ideas the moment you recognise the choice to place himself in your mirror. Energy must not be within that which is around you but inside your plane of awareness, if you are being presented with scary things but they are not scary, the scariness must lie elsewhere, in you... Yet, wait, you didn't make the choice to no be scared. Energy is in both external and internal things? Hmm. That which is wild and external like these visions and this figure can be recognised in the self, familiar, that which is familiar can be in the wild. Thoughts brim in the mind like tendrils of clear water through the wrinkles in the brain. This encompassing creature emanates into all places unexpected and expected, private revelations -

There is no point in me telling you what you realise when you have the third meeting, words are to be used only when something, someone, is external to you and thus are useless to simulate when you meet him. They will always be external until introduced. An introduction is all I can give.

#ramblings //#30 Days of Them #i know people dont like the ''you did this _____'' formula but its directly based on retelling and reformulating personal experiences so #that YOU get to have the experience moment by moment. the second meeting is.... very literal honestly. its not only from one time this #happened its from several but its like... im letting you walk through my steps its not supposed to be like ''you know nothing and now #you kinda do and now oo you realise this'' its.... ''walk with me''#leviathan //

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allywritesanimeforfun · 1 year

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{Jealousy is Daichi’s Middle Name} Daichi x Suga

Summary: Daichi gets super jealous when he catches Suga wearing Kuroo's jacket at the cookout. He can't just stand around and do nothing

Pairings: Daichi x Suga; implied Noya x Asahi

Word Count: 3218

Warnings: mild swearing, slight sexual jokes

Notes: originally posted here on my ao3!

| navigation |

| daisuga center |

The cookout the coaches had provided was almost over. Thanks to Bokuto, all the meat that should’ve been left over was eaten in the matter of seconds. Of course, he had to wrestle multiple players for it, but he ended up getting the most out of everyone. With no more meat, the only thing left to do was mingle. Players of all teams got mixed together in the wave of color. Laughter, yelling, and positive vibes filled the air.

The sun was starting to lower, ending what would be one of Daichi’s favorite memories from his high school volleyball career. With the sun setting, the clouds' fluffiness was more prominent. Noticeably, the wind was causing them to move much quicker than they were this morning. Daichi was struggling to find a spot where the sun was out of his eyes. He settled on holding his arm above his eyes, shielding the light from passing through.

The down side to this was that he couldn't keep track of his players as well as he could’ve before. He normally would have the eye of an eagle to monitor his players, but that was now gone. His field of vision was secluded; the boys had an easier time getting away with what they knew he would be mad about if he saw.

In Daichi’s view, he could see Tskuki talking with Bokuto, with Yamaguchi on his side. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tanaka waving his arms around, speaking aggressively to someone who he could only assume was Ennoshita—seeing as he doesn't get along well with players from other teams.

Daichi shook off the anxiety of not knowing where the rest were and refocused on the conversation he was having with Noya and Asahi.

“The more round the better!” Noya yelled. “It’s easier to swallow that way!”

Daichi shook his head, rubbing his temple. “That doesn't even make sense. Just because it's round makes it easier to swallow? It all depends on how big your throat is—if you don't have one wide enough, then everything is hard to swallow.”

“That’s why I prefer thinner ones!” Asahi exclaimed. “Thinner ones are always more easy to swallow, despite your throat tightness.”

Noya groaned. “But the thicker ones taste better! Your whole mouth is filled with it! It’s so hot and juicy—” His eyes sparkled as he looked up at Asahi. “—and just satisfying and delicious!”

“All meat is satisfying and delicious, Noya.” Daichi placed a hand on his shoulder. “However, I think we are forgetting where the best meat comes from—” Silver hair bouncing off a red collar pulled his attention away from the conversation. He barely saw it as it walked by, but he was pulled in and couldn’t take his eyes off.

“What is it, Captain?” Noya asked, jumping up to see over his shoulder.

“It’s—” Daichi scanned the area. Just as fast as he saw it, it was gone. There were so many tall players around that the smaller, silver haired man got lost in the sea.

“What’s wrong, Daichi?” Asahi asked.

After a moment of rechecking the wave of boys, Daichi asked, “Have you two seen Suga?”

“The last time I saw him was when he was talking to us,” Noya answered. He placed his hands on Asahi's shoulders and jumped, using him to get higher to see more of the area.

“He told me before he left that he planned on talking to some of the other captains…it’s not like you to lose sight of him, Daichi.” Asahi patted his back, laughing.

“Well this damn sun—” A sharp inhale stopped him mid-thought.

There he is.

Suga, the boy who swarmed his dreams nightly, was over by the base of a hill. His back was turned to him—which perfectly, unintentionally showed off how long he let the back of his hair grow out. With all this traveling, preparing, and playing, he hasn’t had any time to get his hair trimmed.

Pretty as ever.

What made the boy stand out even more was the redness that encapsulated him. It was all over his body—a color Daichi has never seen on him before. Come to think of it, Daichi has only seen Suga in either his black warm up, his cream warm up, his black uniform, or his white and gray pajamas.

He looks…stunning. Stunning as always.

“Is that Kuroo he’s talking with?” Noya asked, who somehow has gotten on Asahi’s back—not that Asahi was one to complain.

“Seems like it,” Asahi answered, glancing Daichi’s way.

To the blind eye, Daichi was composed: he held his head high and crossed his arms confidently; however, Asahi saw the twitch in his eye and the grip he had on his elbows. Daichi was pissed, to say the least.

“He looks good in red, doesn't he, Captain?”

“Oikawa,” Daichi warned in a low growl. “Don't you have to beg Iwaizumi for validation?”

Noya choked on a laugh and hopped down, placing his hands on both of their shoulders. “You two never get along.”

“I was just passing by looking for all of the first years while Iwa-chan is out looking for the second years,” Oikawa explained. “I couldn't help but notice that gorgeous, refreshing setter of yours wearing such a provocative color! Bye now!”

Daichi huffed and stared bullets into Kuroo’s head. “Is he actually wearing Kuroo’s jacket?” he seethed.

“Looks like it,” Asahi replied. “—Not that it is!” he quickly added. “It could be some random red jacket that happens to look the same as Nekoma’s! Maybe it’s another tall player from their team. Maybe it’s—”

Noya elbowed him, successfully shutting him up. “You’re not helping,” he whispered.

“Looks like someone found themselves a new boyfriend!” Tsuki joked while walking by.

And just like that—hearing the drama taking place—Hinata came sprinting over, stopping himself from knocking into Daichi by jumping. “New boyfriend?! Were you and Sugawara dating! If he’s wearing Kuroo’s jacket, does that mean he broke up with you to be with him?”

Kageyama grabbed him by his collar and aggressively pulled him to his face. “If you don't shut your stupid ass up right now, I will end you!”

“I’m sorry!” he yelled. “Put me down!”

Kageyama dropped him, but he was pulled up by Daichi. Daichi smiled deceptivally and slapped him a little harder than normal on his back. His eyes darkened as he spoke, “You have it all wrong, Hinata. Suga and I have never dated! We are just really, really close best friends!”

“Then why are you so jealous?” he deadpanned, tilting his head.

“J-Jealous?” Daichi stuttered. “I’m not jealous!”

“But your cheeks are really red, and you’re starting to sweat!”

“Shut up, Hinata!” Kageyama reminded him.

Daichi forced a laugh. “It’s okay. I’m not jealous! I’m just confused as to why Suga is wearing another team’s jacket! It’s not because it’s Kuroo or anything…I just believe as my Vice-captain that he shouldn’t be representing any other team, that’s all!”

Asahi didn't miss the prominent veins sticking out of Daichi’s neck, or the way his hands slowly clenched into fists. He could see that Daichi was having a hard time keeping up the ‘good captain’ act in front of the lower classmen. Asahi gathered all the younger boys in his arms and dragged them away. “It’s getting close to the time where we need to leave, isn't it Daichi?”

Daichi nodded. “Thank you, Asahi, I almost lost track of time! I’ll go tell Suga it's time to go…”

Daichi walked with a mission. He was borderline speed-walking his fine ass over to the hill where the person he was practically in love with was talking to a much taller, much more capable player than himself. Daichi hissed to himself out of, what he refused to admit, jealousy at the thought of those two actually getting together. His eyes were set on Kuroo, and Asahi could practically see the daggers in their reflection.

“It is inter—” Suga was cut off by strong arms coming over his shoulders, a little too tight for something less than friendly. He knew the hands that clenched around his shoulders could only belong to Daichi. He forced himself to hold back a happy sigh from being held so close.

Daichi leaned over Suga’s shoulder. His mouth was close to his ear, but his eyes were attempting to kill Kuroo. “Koushi…” he trailed off, just loud enough to make sure Kuroo could hear. Suga felt his heart leap out his chest—he thought for sure he was going to melt. “Asahi is helping me gather up the first and second years. It’s getting time to go.”

The rest of the team was out of ear shot, but close enough to see the death glare Kuroo was receiving.

“I don't think I’ve ever seen Daichi so irritated before,” Tanaka commented; the rest of the team laughed and nodded in agreement. They all could feel the tense atmosphere from far away.

Kuroo laughed and peered up at the sun. “Ah, I guess it is starting to get dark out, isn't it, Captain? I almost forgot myself that we actually have to leave soon! I had a really good time seeing everyone, especially your team! They really surprised me!”

“You shouldn’t be surprised,” Daichi retorted, his grip somehow getting even tighter. “We got the best players we’ve ever had, and this is the hardest we’ve ever worked. We really got something special!”

Kuroo smiled. “I was just telling Sugawara here about that special middle blocker you have! Not the freak one, the tall one! Tsukishima! I don’t know if you knew this, but me and Bokuto have been working on his blocking with him!”

“You have?” Daichi questioned, then looked back at Suga. “Did you know?”

Suga hummed. “Of course I knew! Every night while you’re talking with the coaches, I ask the boys what they’ve been working on!”

“I can’t wait for you to see what he taught him!” Kuroo added.

“I came over here to ask Kuroo what guidance I can give Tsuki and the other blockers.” His hand came to scratch the back of his neck as he looked at his feet. “I’m not so good at blocking myself, so I wanted to see what advice Kuroo could give me. I think I have a good idea of what blocking drill I want to try out.”

“We’ll talk about this on the bus,” Daichi whispered into his ear, his eyes never leaving Kuroo. “Everyone else is waiting for us.”

“You got it, Captain!” Suga excitedly smiled. “Thanks for the chat, Kuroo! Daichi and I appreciate your help with Tsuki, and I appreciate you talking over with me how we can help him! We’re sure to beat you next time we play!” Suga tried to take a step but was held back.

“Excuse you?” Daichi growled. “You are not taking that jacket home.”

“Oh the jacket!” Kuroo held his hand out. “I almost forgot! Thanks for the reminder, Sawamura!”

Daichi, for the first and only time, let go of Suga so that he could take the jacket off and hand it over. The second the jacket was off, Daichi obsessively placed his arm over Suga and held him close to his body. He half-heartedly said goodbye and good luck to Kuroo before they left, glaring at him until he was out of sight.

Instead of walking over to the bus where the team was waiting, Daichi walked them over behind a tall tree that provided a blanket of shade. Suga looked up at him, waiting for him to continue past the tree and to the parking lot. Once he realized Daichi wasn't moving, he smiled.

“You can release your death grip on me before it lives up to its name,” Suga teased.

Daichi let go of a deep sigh he was holding in and released his grip. His arms came over Suga’s shoulders, shifting his weight onto his partner's back. He stayed there for a bit, replaying the scene in his head.

Suga was wearing another captain’s jacket. And he smiled. And he enjoyed talking to him. And he looked so…happy. Content. Relaxed. I wasn’t the one to make him feel this. He looked so at peace…

Daichi started to feel guilt as he realized he was the one to force Suga to walk away from that feeling. Suga wasn't stressed or in need of Daichi—he was doing what was best for the team, and Daichi was the one to take him out if. He really couldn’t ask for a better vice-captain.

Daichi noticed he was being silent for a long time when he felt Suga’s soft eyes studying his expression. Suga was patient, just like he always is, and was waiting for Daichi to collect his thoughts, never pushing or prying him, only playing with his fingers.

Daichi rested his forehead against the back of the smaller one’s neck and closed his eyes.

He finally asked, “Why were you wearing his jacket?”

Suga laughed and turned him around, holding him up by his shoulders. Daichi’s hands twitched in slight nervousness before settling on the setter’s waist, his head hanging low. Suga hummed and raised himself on his tippy toes to brush his nose against Daichi’s to get him to look at him. Daichi felt his heart drop but confidently answered his request.

Suga smiled at him reassuringly when their eyes met; Daichi instantly melted. “The wind gave me a chill and Kuroo noticed. He gave me his jacket,” he paused to make sure Daichi was following. He saw the sadness and almost disappointed look on his captain’s eyes and frowned. “I know you two weren't on the best terms, but he's been working with Tsuki, and I wanted to know how we could help him practice more. I was afraid if I turned down his offer, he would walk away completely.”

“Like anyone could walk away from you.” Daichi squeezed his lips together when he realized he said that out loud.

Suga frown turned into a smile as he chuckled. “Is that right, Captain?”

Daichi blushed and tried not to die from embarrassment. “Where's your jacket?”

“Buried in my bed.”

Daichi quickly took his jacket off and started to place it over Suga’s shoulder. “Take mine.”

“But I’m not—”

“Take mine,” Daichi demanded once more, slipping Suga’s arms into the sleeves.

Suga smirked, giving in and placing a hand over Daichi’s as Daichi zipped it up. Both of their hands were soft, but Daichi’s were a little more sweaty than his own. He buried his nose into his shoulder, inhaling Daichi’s scent. He felt his head start to spin out of pure bliss. He looked back up and tilted his head. “On a scale of 10-10, how hot do I look in your jacket?”

Daichi rolled his eyes. There’s no use in trying to hide anything now. I practically gave myself to him on a silver platter.

“You know you’re always a 10 no matter what you wear. But in my jacket…” Daichi placed his hands on Suga’s neck, adjusting the collar before running them down his shoulders, arms, and eventually waist where he fixed the hem. “...I think you have to at least be a solid 20.”

As much as Suga tried, he couldn't hide his blush. A sense of pride filled Daichi—normally he was the blushing mess. “But my jacket is the exact same jacket as yours, how do I look twice as hot?” Suga teased, leaning close.

“Easy,” Daichi answered. “Because it’s my jacket. That makes all the difference.”

“Does it now?”

Daichi nodded and intertwined their fingers at their waist. “My jacket is the same size as yours, but I stupidly put mine through the dryer when it was dry, so it shrunk. I didn't want another jacket, so I just wore it as it was and it got stretched out. Now—no offense—I’m a little more built than you—”

“—And it's super hot.”

Daichi leaned closer to Suga’s cheek to hide his beet-red face. “The jacket is stretched out, more loose than yours is. So when you wear my jacket, you look smaller than normal. I find it incredibly cute because I only have about a centimeter on you.”

Suga leaned in even closer, challenging Daichi’s self control. “If I would’ve known that this would be your reaction to seeing me in your jacket, I would have ‘accidentally’ stolen it a long time ago.”

“Are you trying to ask me to give you some of my sweatshirts?” He let go of one of Suga’s hands and used it to rub circles into the other’s lower back.

This was slowly becoming a flirtatious, scandalous test of who would break first. Flirtatious and scandalous were Suga’s favorite words—he wasn't losing this. As much as he was blushing, and as much as his mind was screaming at him to kiss that stupid, hot smirk off of Daichi’s face, he held back. He eagerly threw his arms around Daichi’s neck, pulling him in until their lips were barely touching. He locked eyes with him as intently and sultry as he could. Daichi stared back, just as intense. Suga saw that Daichi wasn't going to break. He smirked—he still had one last trick up his sleeve.

“Koushi,” Suga said.

Daichi pulled back, squinting at him. “What?”

“Koushi,” he repeated. “That was the first time you’ve called me that…you really wanted Kuroo to know how close we are, didn’t you?”

Daichi’s jaw slowly dropped. He leaned back even more, taking in Suga’s full face, making sure he was okay.

Oh my god. Oh. My. God. I called him Koushi and I didn't even ask!

“Suga, I'm so sorry! I don't know what got over me! I should’ve—”

He cut him off. “—If you’re going to apologize to me for something you don't have to, at least say my name.”

Daichi blinked. And then he bit his inner lip, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming. “You…you want me to…”

Suga laughed and tugged on his shoulders, squeezing him in the tightest hug he could. “You’re so stupid sometimes, do you know that?”

“Koushi…” Daichi breathed out, returning the hug. “Koushi…” He nuzzled into his neck and tightened his grip. “Koushi!” He scooped him up, holding him against his body as he swung them in circles.

“Daichi!” Suga laughed, wrapping his legs around his waist. He felt nothing but happiness, contentedness, and relaxation.

The two laughed as the sun was disappearing under the hill. Neither of them could hear the rest of the team looking for them—Daichi had found a really good tree to hide behind. All they could hear was their over excited hearts beating together. They didn't care about whatever was happening outside of their moment, because it was just the two of them. All they cared about was holding onto each other and being as close as possible.

Suga should have been cold with the darkness filling the air and the wind never letting down, but he wasn’t. He could never be cold now that he was wearing his boyfriend’s jacket, keeping him warm.

Daichi should have been cold with the darkness filling the air and the wind never letting down, but he wasn't. He could never be cold now that he has his boyfriend in his arms, keeping him warm.

Daichi slowed down and lowered Suga to the ground. Suga held on just as tight as his feet touched the grass. He wasn't ready to let go.

“Never take my jacket off, Koushi. Never.”

#daichi x suga #daisuga #daisuga fanfic #daichi x suga fanfic #haikyuu fanfic #fluff #jealousy #daisuga oneshot

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