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#i liked his slow descent into darkness
provokedgoalie · 2 years
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I mean the movie wasn't that bad, but yeah I totally get wanting to see more of michael. but ngl I loved corey <3
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fawnforevergone · 9 months
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The Ultimate List of Dante References in Hozier's "Unreal Unearth" !!
Hello and welcome to my new-and-updated ultimate compilation of all 'Inferno' references I found in Hozier's new album! If I think of anything else, or if anyone else suggests something, I will be sure to add it, but, for now, enjoy this ridiculously long (you've been warned) list I made!
Since I didn't wanna make a post for every individual song and spam you all, the songs are separated by their respective circles! I hope that organises stuff a bit more :]
Usual disclaimer: I could be wrong about some stuff! I've read 'Inferno' and try to stick to the objective references, but sometimes I let subjective interpretation bleed through. If anyone has any corrections for anything, just lmk!! Okay, cool <3
DESCENT:
"De Selby (Part 1)"
We start the album not in the circles, but instead at the Gates of Hell. One of the main themes of Inferno is darkness, and these first two songs are embodiments of that.
The lyrics mention the idea of this being a "new empty space", suggesting that Hozier is being introduced to the feeling of Inferno through the relationship he's singing about, and, so, we begin the descent.
"The likes of a darkness so deep that God at the start couldn't bear." God is obviously a large theme of Inferno and is, biblically, the creator of light, hence the absence of it in Inferno. In fact, the first three stanzas all reference the heavy darkness of the threshold and its estrangement from God.
The Irish/Gaeilge lyrics roughly translate to: "Although you're bright and light, you arrive to me like night fall. You and I, together. You and I, metamorphized. Although you're bright and light, you arrive to me like night fall. The art of transformation is a dark art." The imagery of light and dark mixing together mimics the idea of walking from the brightness of Earth into the darkness of Inferno.
This entire album appears to be the recounting of a relationship and how it feels like walking through Inferno. Here we see the beginning of this relationship, of Hozier losing himself to the threshold.
"De Selby (Part 2)"
Part one appeared to be the step through the gates, whereas part two seems to be Hozier being enveloped by the threshold. In 'Inferno', Dante says the entrance to Hell is a darkness that no stars could shine in. We hear this shift from Earth to Unearth through the production alone; the weightlessness of part one falling into the heavy grunge of part two.
"Your heart, love, has such darkness, I feel it in the corners of the room." The theme of dark continues, as it will through the entire album, but, this time, Hozier feels it radiating from within his lover rather than the space around them. Though, him saying his lover carries darkness is not an insult. This extra depth to his lover is something more to know, something more to love. This idea actually differs from Dante, who sees the darkness as deceitful.
"I want to be so far from sight and mind." Inferno is a lawless place. He would be far from sight due to the darkness, and far from mind due to the insanity that persists within the circles.
"Let all time slow, let all light go." This lyric shows me that he has been submerged in the threshold. Again, the lack of light, but also the slowing of time. Punishment after death is eternal, something that time has no grasp on. Hozier is willing to let these aspects take a hold of him.
"I'd still know you not being shown you, I'd only need the workin' of my hands." Christianity is a heavy theme of Inferno, and this lyric plays on the proverb 'Idle hands are the devil's workshop', a proverb Hozier also hinted at in his song "No Plan" (from 'Wasteland, Baby!') - "My heart is thrilled by the still of your hand."
Now, though, Hozier's hands aren't idle, instead the opposite, his hands are working as God intended. Drawing us back to that idea we were given at the end of part one, we get the feeling that Hozier is bringing something light/Godly to Inferno, and he and his lover are fusing the ideas of Heaven/Earth and Hell.
FIRST (LIMBO):
"First Time"
We now enter circle number one, 'Limbo'. Limbo is an uneventful circle for those not worthy of punishment but also not fit for Heaven. It is mainly for those who do not believe in God, the unbaptised.
Firstly, to get to circles, Dante and his guide, Virgil, must be chaperoned by the Greek Psychopomp Charon down the river Acheron, and we see that in Hozier's first couple stanzas.
"And the soul - if that's what you'd call it, uneasy ally of the body - felt nameless as a river, undiscovered underground." This appears to be Hozier mentioning the river Acheron, one of the five rivers of the Underworld that surround Hades, and, in 'Inferno', are used to transport the souls of the dead to their respective circles.
"The first time that you kissed me, I drank dry the river Lethe." The river Lethe is another one of the five rivers, and is one that causes anyone who drinks from it to forget everything they know. Hozier is simply saying that kissing this person wiped his mind clean, similar to the end of "De Selby (Part 1)" where he mentions partaking in a transformation.
"Some part of me died / Some part of me came alive the first time that you called me 'Baby'." Relating to the previous quote, souls that drink from the river Lethe usually do so before being reincarnated, so they forget their past life. Hozier seems to experiment with the idea of being reborn by his partner's love for him - an idea prevalent throughout his entire discography.
"To share the space with simple living things, infinitely suffering, but fighting off - like all creation - the absence of itself." This lyric tells us that we should not ignore the privilege of living just out of the fear of dying. This lyric is reminiscent of "All Things End" and the circle of Heresy. Since Limbo is home to those who don't believe in God, the theme of Heresy is a very fitting one.
SECOND (LUST):
"When I was young, I used to guess 'Are there limits to any emptiness?'" The punishment for those in Limbo is to exist eternally with the curse of a hollow, empty feeling meant to represent the lack of God in their lives. This punishment seems referenced in this lyric.
[ i ended up thinking about this song more so if you want even more "first time" content, here ya go: "first time dante references." ]
"Francesca"
Into circle number two, 'Lust', we have the story of Francesca Da Rimini, a woman Dante spoke to during his visit to circle two. Francesca fell in love with her husband's brother, Paolo, and when her husband discovered the affair he murdered them both.
Hozier seems to be singing from the perspective of Francesca/Paolo but throughout the album we see Hozier liken his lover to aspects of Inferno - darkness in "De Selby (Part 2)" or Lucifer in "Unknown / Nth" - so the story of Francesca and Paolo is fitting as another metaphor here.
"Do you think I'd give up? That this might've shook the love from me?" Even in Hell, Paolo and Francesca physically cling onto another. They do not let their death affect their love.
"My life was a storm since I was born. How could I fear any hurricane?" The punishment in Lust is an eternal storm meant to replicate the throws of passionate love - a storm also depicted in the production of the end of this song. Hozier/Francesca/Paolo says that it's impossible for them to care about this punishment when life was already as treacherous as it was.
The whole chorus emphasises the imagery of Francesca and Paolo not being able to let go of each other.
"When the heart would cease, ours never knew peace. What good what it be on the far side of things?" Francesca and Paolo lived their love secretly and anxiously, so what good would peace be in the afterlife when they've already become accustomed to difficulty?
"Heaven is not fit to house a love like you and I." In the opening songs of the album, Hozier describes his lover as darkness, akin to something God cannot bear. Due to the depth of his lover, the mix of light and dark they've made, he believes Heaven would crumble beneath the weight of their relationship. That something as corrupt as Inferno is the only place suitable for them to live.
"I, Carrion (Icarian)"
Still in circle two, Hozier plays on Dante's own metaphor. In Canto 17, Dante refers to his own dread of descending Inferno to the same dread that the 'ill-fated Icarus' must've felt on his fall from the sky.
Hozier twists this, instead comparing his love to the hope Icarus must've felt as he flew towards the sun. He said, during a live show, this song is based on the idea hat Icarus never realised he fell, and woke up dead, too clouded by joy to realise what had happened.
"If the wind turns, if i hit a squall, allow the ground to find its brutal way to me." Again, we mention the storm of circle two. Lust is also said to have treacherous terrain - sharp rocks and jagged stone - that seems to be hinted at in the second half of this lyric.
"While you're as heavy as the world that you hold your hands beneath." This imagery seems reminiscent of the Greek Titan, Atlas, who holds up the Earth on his back. Dante talks about seeing Titans and Biblical Giants at the transition point of circle eight to circle nine, 'Fraud' to 'Treachery', which makes this lyric a sad hint to where Hozier will end up finding his lover; Taking the place of Lucifer in the deepest part of Inferno.
THIRD (GLUTTONY):
"Eat Your Young"
We enter the third circle of Inferno, 'Gluttony'. There are no specific references to Inferno, but the concept of gluttony is apparent. Hozier does what he frequently does throughout this album; He refuses to see the sin as "right or wrong" as Dante so stubbornly implies.
Hozier often divulges in a grey area, a spectrum or sale of severity, when it comes to the sin. Hozier's perspective seems more nuanced than Dante's, seeing sin as layered rather than objectively bad. In this specific song, he displays the different sources of hunger in humans, and where the line should be drawn.
"I'm starvin', darlin', let me put my lips to something, let me wrap my teeth around the world." We start, and reference back to in verse two, a sexual hunger, a harmless passion between two people. This is an innocent side of the sin, not deserving of the punishment of Lust which is to be ripped apart by Cerberus (the three-headed dog from Greek mythology) for all eternity.
However, Hozier moves onto the hunger of politics.
"Pull up the ladder when the flood comes." The government refusing to help the people when the sea levels rise.
"Throw enough rope until the legs have swung." When you don't have a ladder, you use a rope. This lyric plays on the notion of when governments give the impression they are helping, but are only making things worse - a take on the saying 'Give someone enough rope and they'll hang themselves', since what else are they meant to do with it?
"Skinnin' the children for a war drum, puttin' food on the table selling bombs and guns." The hunger for power manifests in war.
"It's quicker and easier to eat your young." Here, Hozier uses the common saying in a more literal sense, saying that if these politicians are hungry enough to destroy the world, they may as well physically eat their young, since it'll have the same effect.
FOURTH (GREED):
"Damage Gets Done"
This song takes place in circle four, 'Greed'! The title of the song alone is already very meaningful. In circle four, the main punishment is that the inhabitants are split into two groups and are forever forced to charged into each other and fight. Dante describes them are being so injured and damaged that they have become 'unrecognisable'.
The song is about greed within the changing of the world. It's about growing up and losing the naivety and innocence you once had, no longer able to ignore the burden of politics and money. Hozier and Brandi sing about the excitement of being young and in love, but, with the rise of inflation, it's hard to exist like that anymore - You need greed to survive.
"Wish I had known it was just our turn being blamed for a world we had no power in." This seems to be a reference to two things. One, the idea that governments blame the people for their own poverty, and Two, the idea of arriving in circle four by no fault of your own. It's not their fault they wanted more money with the world being how it is, but, nevertheless, they're being punished for it.
"I haven't felt it since then. I don't know when the feeling ended, but I know being reckless and young is not how the damage gets done." They talk about the enjoyment of the love they're singing about fading, and how they miss that, but they know that, again, this is not their fault. They know they didn't change, the world did, and they won't take responsibility for their 'sin' when all they did was adapt.
As aforementioned, the inhabitants of the fourth circle suffer extreme injuries, so Hozier saying "I know being reckless and young is not how the damage gets done" is him saying "I know that we are not at fault for being served the punishment of Greed."
FIFTH (WRATH / ANGER):
"Who We Are"
We enter the fifth circle, 'Wrath', where the inhabitants spend their time fighting to stay at the surface of the river Styx, another one of the five rivers of the underworld.
"Falling from you drop by drop." / "To hold me like water." These lyrics obviously give the idea of water, representing the river Styx.
"Or, Christ, hold me like a knife." This lyric comes in quite loudly, Hozier's voice strengthening with it. The subtle blasphemy of "Christ" and the violent imagery of "knife" comes across as a sort of anger. Being held "like a knife" is representative of how those is Wrath must feel - like they are something particularly dangerous, but still desperate to be held.
"We're born at night, so much of our lives is just carving through the dark to get so far." Again, this theme of darkness that is so frequently displayed in Inferno is mentioned again. After this song comes "Son Of Nyx", which Hozier said was the transition into the darker half of the album, and Nyx is the Goddess of the Night. Being "born at night" would make Hozier the son of the night, the son of Nyx. This gives the impression that, if the album is following on chronologically, this is the point where the relationship portrayed in the album begins to fray as Hozier starts to be consumed by the darkness.
"And the hardest part is who we are." Those in the circle of Wrath possess a 'savage self-frustration' that Hozier seems to represent throughout this whole song - A fierce annoyance with the way he and his lover let things go: "We sacrificed, we gave our time to something undefined", "Chasing someone else's dream", Etc.
SIXTH (HERESY):
"Son Of Nyx"
We have no lyrics for this song (though you can hear him faintly saying some things, one of which is him saying "who we are...") but we know it takes place in circle six, 'Heresy'. Heresy is a belief or opinion that is contradictory to religious doctrine, especially Christianity. As aforementioned, Hozier said this track is a transition song meant to replicate a descent into the darker half of the album.
Nyx is a Greek Goddess and is often known as the personification of night. She had many children all representing different things but the title would essentially mean 'The Son Of Night', and, as dissected in the previous song, we can see that Hozier sees himself as reborn into the darkness.
Once again, darkness is a large theme of Inferno, but Hozier saying in circle six that he is the Son of Night is particularly meaningful due to the association of light with God. He has been reborn as something that could not be further from God, something that opposes the idea of God, something of a Heretic.
Nyx was feared and respected by all, including Zeus, and, though I believe there is no reference to her in Inferno, she was described as residing in the dark recesses of the Underworld, which is heavily incorporated into Inferno.
"All Things End"
This song does not have many overt references to circle six but definitely incorporates the idea of heresy. As mentioned, heresy is an idea that contradicts (especially, but not always) Christianity. In this song, Hozier talks about the ephemeral nature of all things, particularly romance.
"When people say that something is forever, either way it ends." Whether it be death or a break-up, God doesn't plan for you to be able to spend eternity with your lover.
"Movin' on in time and taking more from everything that ends." Hozier, however, argues that things still have meaning beyond their end. That, even after moving on, we will remember and learn from the things we have lost.
"Just knowin' that everything will end should not change our plans." Throws back to the idea of the second verse of "First Time". If you avoided something just because it was going to end eventually, you would never achieve anything. That's like refusing to finish a movie just because you don't want to get to the credits.
When this concept of ignoring the end comes to death, we ultimately cross the concept of God. There are many rules people follow in religion, avoiding certain things because they are against 'God's Will'. Although this practice can be kept in moderation, it can quickly become self-imprisoning.
Not living your present life out of fear for an unproven afterlife can be limiting, especially if you dictate who you love due to what supernatural punishment may or may not follow. Hozier sings that we should not let God's plan interfere with what we need from life, allowing ourselves to indulge in love even if it will end - ultimately, Heresy.
SEVENTH (VIOLENCE):
"To Someone From A Warm Climate (Uiscefhuaraithe)"
This song places in circle seven, 'Violence'. Violence is split into three subcategories, or 'rings'; Violence against others, violence against self, and violence against God. I believe this song gives an overview of all three.
With this song, we recognise that the title says "To someone..." and Hozier said this song was a gift to someone who was from a geographical warm climate, but there is also a lot of heat in circle seven.
"A joy, hard learned in winter, was the warming of the bed." Throughout this song, Hozier describes himself as cold, and his lover as warm. The idea of warming the bed is a concept Hozier mentioned in his song "Nobody" (From 'Wasteland, Baby!') where he sings that, if he had a choice between the warm bed of his lover or performing on stage, he'd go home to the bed. Since this song comes after "All Things End" (the break-up song), this call back to "Nobody" could be instead referencing a permanent distance, rather than a temporary one (like the temporary distance in "Nobody").
"And, darlin', all my dreaming has only been put to shame." This could have two meanings. One, Hozier waking from a dream about his lover to find them not here. Or, two, Hozier's expectations of his lover falling short as their relationship has finally fallen through. These expectations could be a form of violence against self, the second ring, as he set himself up for heartbreak.
"And I wish that I could say that the river of my arms have found the ocean. I wish I could say the cold lake water of my heart- Christ, it's boilin' over." As mentioned, Hozier is cold, his lover is warm. His wishes he could find something to to fill the loss of his relationship, but he still feels the heat from his lover in every part of him.
"It's boilin' over." References the river of boiling blood in the first ring, violence against others, Hozier could be talking about the way his partner loved him, how that was almost an act of violence with how hard it is to now let go.
"Butchered Tongue"
This song has less references to 'Inferno', and is more of a commentary on the act of violence itself. Hozier sings of places and cultures lost to the violence of man, and he mourns this deeply.
"To say 'Appalacicola' or 'Hushpukena', like 'Gweebara'. A promise softly sung of somewhere else." This grieving for a time when native land wasn't colonised and culture wasn't violently erased is prevalent throughout the song.
In the second verse, he sings very strongly of the brutal acts inflicted upon Irish rebels by the British forces in the Wexford Rebellion of 1789. As we know, Hozier is from Ireland, and he incorporates both the Irish language and history into this album, and recounting such violent acts for this song feeds into the grieving of what has been lost: "Between what is lost forever and what can still be known."
In the context of 'Inferno', it feels as though Hozier is listing the sort of actions that would land someone within the circle of Violence whilst also appreciating the efforts those above ground take to preserve erased culture. Altogether, the song is a very moving commentary on modern violence.
EIGHTH (FRAUD):
"Anything But"
The eighth circle is 'Fraud', split into ten subcategories that are positioned around the circle in trench-like ditches, known as 'Bolgia'.
"I wanna be loud, so loud, I'm talking seismic," follows up with, "I want to be as soft as a single rock in a rain stick." Who he wants to be fluctuates between moderation and severity. He is changing, unreliable, possibly referring to bolgia one, Panders and Seducers. Seducers tend to 'lead astray', as Hozier's unreliable narration does.
The punishment of bolgia one is to be marched backwards and forwards rapidly whilst being whipped, very much evoking the imagery of a stampede: "If I were a stampede, you wouldn't get a kick." This alludes to the fact that if Hozier were sent to hell for the various sins he commits for his lover, he wouldn't resent them for it at all.
"If I was a riptide, I wouldn't take you out." The second bolgia of Fraud is for Flatterers, 'the act of giving excessive compliments, sometimes for romantic courtship'. Obviously, the song is filled with these compliments.
"I hear He touches your hand and then you fly away together. If I had his job, you'd live forever." The imagery of "fly away" gives the idea of ascending, perhaps to Heaven, as hinted at again by the idea of the longevity of living. Bolgia three is for Simoniacs, those who would sell church roles, offices, or sacred things. This seems to fit with Hozier saying that if he had a divine role, he wouldn't follow protocol, he would allow his lover immortality.
Simoniacs were sinners because they were disobeying God's trust, because the selling of divine roles would lead to corruption in the Church. Hozier is using this hyperbolically, saying that if someone were to sell him the role of God, he would most definitely be a corrupt power.
"I'd lower the world in a flood, or better yet I'd cause a drought." In bolgia four we have Sorcerers. Although Dante used this term in a more logical sense for fraudulent sorcerers - false prophets, fortune tellers, those who lied about the plans of God - Hozier uses the term in a supernatural sense. Sorcerers were punished for trying to interrupt God's prerogative, whereas Hozier is blatantly saying he would summon another flood, usurping God's plan overtly.
"I'm talking seismic." The bridge that leads to bolgia seven was collapsed by the great earthquake and, as we know, seismic activity leads to earthquakes.
"Worry the cliff side top as a wave crashing over." There happens to be a cliff near the entrance of circle eight that a large waterfall plunges over.
"Abstract (Psychopomp)"
This song appears to be the crossover point from circle eight to circle nine that I mentioned when discussing "I, Carrion (Icarian)". Before we get to that, the title itself is significant.
A psychopomp is a chaperon of death; Someone like the Grim Reaper, or Charon from "First Time", or Dante's guide through Inferno, Virgil. Here, Hozier is describing the act of hitting an animal with your car as taking on the role of a psychopomp, whilst also relating this idea to the act of letting a relationship die, leading it from life to death.
In the crossover point from eight to nine, Dante and Virgil stand and look at the large well that leads down to circle nine, 'Treachery'. The Titians and Giants burst out of the well, to big to fit, but their feet stand stubbornly in Treachery. I believe that, at this point in the album, Hozier stands here, too. He's visited all eight circles, and has one last place to go before he leaves Inferno, and ultimately his lover, behind. This song is him realising he has to let his relationship end, he has to act as a psychopomp for his love.
"Sometimes it returns like rain that you've slept through." Circle nine, 'Treachery', is a frozen over lake, aka a memory of water, similar to the residue of rain. With viewing this song as the predecessor to "Unknown / Nth", we can take this as a hint of what's to come.
"The Earth from a distance." Since Inferno is arranged in rings (like a circular staircase), Dante could feasibly look up and still see where he started his journey. The same way Hozier could look up and see where his relationship began, "De Selby (Part 1)", The Gates.
"Streetlights in the dark blue." We have the mix of light and dark again, as mentioned in the opening track, referencing back to Hozier and his partner falling in love.
"Darling, there's a part of me I'm afraid will always be trapped within an abstract of my life." Of course, Hozier is talking about the memory of the animal hit with the car here, but the way this relates to circle nine is beautiful. As we'll properly dissect with "Unknown / Nth", sat within the most central point of circle nine, the deepest part of Inferno, is Lucifer, the fallen angel. Lucifer was thrown down to Hell from Heaven, and found himself trapped in Treachery, his body too big to escape. Dante says that the more he struggles, the more stuck he becomes.
That moment he was struck down to hell is a moment he finds himself forever stuck in, just as Hozier is saying here. In the next song, Hozier relates his lover to Lucifer, but these lyrics are a gorgeous mirroring of Lucifer's experience, and another hint at the final circle we will now head to.
NINTH (TREACHERY):
"Unknown / Nth"
Okay, buckle in.
The ninth circle, 'Treachery', is also one split into subcategories, yet Hozier appears to be singing about the centre. The frozen over lake of Treachery gets more frozen the closer you get to the centre. The inhabitants start half-submerged in ice to fully plastered in it. Throughout Inferno, and the deeper we descend, a soft breeze becomes a strong wind, that, as we reach the centre, we find is caused by the violent flapping of Lucifer's wings. Here he sits, stuck and chewing on Judas, another one of God's biggest betrayers.
After "Abstract (Psychopomp)" Hozier is now exploring the final stage of his relationship. The circles of Hell had mirrored the love he once had, and Treachery is where it shall be buried. He also represents his lover as Lucifer, though not maliciously. In interviews, Hozier spoke about the song being about a heavy betrayal he suffered from someone he truly loved, and likening this to God and Lucifer is just heartbreaking.
"You know the distance never made a difference to me." The song is about knowing someone in their entirety, discovering their best and worst parts. Hozier uses Inferno to talk about the tiresome journey of finally knowing someone. He says he would've made the trip all the same, that he would've walked this far for his lover no matter what.
"I swam a lake of fire, I'd have walked across the floor of any sea." This mirrors the previous lyric, but also references specific parts of Inferno. The are many fires in Inferno, particularly in circle seven, 'Violence'. The sea floor lyric reminds me of the lake of Treachery. Though a surface, not a floor, the lake would still be below any seabed, since Inferno is geographically below the Earth.
"Funny how true colours shine in darkness and in secrecy." You guys are probably sick of hearing me say it but... Darkness is a big theme in Dante's Inferno. It is meant to represent the deceiving nature of humans when light is not being shone. Secrecy is a running thread through 'Inferno', too, as Dante finds many people he thought had done no wrong residing there. Hozier is simply saying how (sarcastically) funny it is that he only truly knows his lover in the remains of their relationship; How he only knows them after seeing them in their cruellest form.
"Where you were held frozen like an angel to me." There are many angel lyrics, but this one specifically references the ice of Treachery. The fallen angel is indicative of Hozier's experience: Seeing someone he regarded highly, even heavenly, falling from that pedestal and turning into something that couldn't be further from God's work.
"You called me angel for the first time, my heart leapt from me. You smile, now, I can see its pieces still stuck in your teeth, and, what's left of it, I listen to it tick. Every tedious beat going unknown as any angel to me." Hozier references his ex-lover chewing on his heart the way Lucifer chews on Judas. He listens to it somehow still ticking, however slowly, and at the end of the song we hear something akin to a heartbeat. The beats are "going unknown as any angel to me" since he can no longer recognise his own heartbeat after it has been mangled by another, and, since he mistook someone alike Lucifer to an angel, the idea of angels must be "unknown" to him.
"Do you know I could break beneath the weight of the goodness, love, I still carry for you? That I'd walk so far just to take the injury of finally knowing you?" We again have this imagery of walking far, referencing the journey of Inferno, and, even though he's aching with the realisation of who his lover truly is, he can't help but be grateful that he does now know them, no matter how painful that may be. That he would do this all again if it meant he at least got to the answer of who they are.
His weak heartbeat follows him through to final track as we begin the Ascent.
ASCENT:
"First Light"
The title is very meaningful for the Ascent. The song references both Dante and Virgil's ascent and the creation of light by God himself. Dante and Virgil leave Inferno through a tunnel that Lucifer left in the Earth as he was thrown down to Hell, and they emerge on the other side of the hemisphere. This song signifies Hozier stepping away from the relationship as he also makes that journey out.
"One bright morning changes all things." Dante is disorientated when he exits Inferno. He'd become so accustomed to the darkness that he asks Virgil, 'How is it that the sun progressed so rapidly from evening to day?' Hozier seems to recognise here that his relationship is no longer fit for him, that the darkness has become too encompassing, just as Dante realises on his ascent.
"The sky set to burst, the gold and the rust, the colour erupts...the sun coming up." Not only does this give the imagery of the birth of light, but it also represents Dante's view on his exit: 'Until...I saw the lovely things the sky above us bears. Now we came out, and once more saw the stars.'
"Like I lived my whole life before the first light." Hozier says that the darkness from his lover was so overbearing that it was hard to believe he'd ever felt light before - that light could not have exists with a darkness this heavy alongside it. It is a call back to "De Selby (Part 1)" - "A darkness so deep that God at the start couldn't bear."
"One bright morning comes. Darkness always finds you either way, it creeps into the corners as the moment fades." He speaks of bringing light to a moment between them, but has it quickly smothered by the darkness inherent in his partner. Another call back, this time to "De Selby (Part 2)" - "And your heart, love, has such darkness, I feel it in the corners of the room."
"After this I'm never going to be the same, and I am never going back again." This lyric is heart-breaking. Hozier states that Inferno has changed him, but he has no wishes to re-enter it. At the beginning of this album, he was begging for the likes of Inferno - "De Selby (Part 2)": "Let all time slow, let all light go." - and now he is desperate to get away from it. In "Francesca", he said, "At the end, I'd tell them, 'Put me back in it.'", yet, now, he's at the end, he's ascended, and he has no desire to go back at all.
He is letting go of his lover because he recognises that this pain was not worth it, that this love was not worth the punishment he received, so he leaves.
---
That was Hozier's Inferno !! I hope this was helpful to some people since it was very fun to make (I'm exhausted) and it's very enlightening to see how these lyrics relate to Inferno (I'm heart-broken) !! Okay, wooooo !! Enjoy !!!
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eddies-ashtray · 1 year
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You Get Me Closer To God // Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
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Synopsis: Your best friend sleeps over.
WC: 2.3k
Category: Smut (18+).
Content: Friends to lovers, mean, pervy Eddie, dom/sub dynamics (?), virgin!reader, name calling (of the ‘whore’ & ‘slut’ variety), nice nicknames (of the ‘sweetheart’ & ‘baby’ variety), 1 dacryphilia mention, mocking, dumbification if you squint, humiliation kink ig, teasing, vaginal penetration without the use of a condom (don’t try this at home, folks), some hand-on-neck action + a squeeze but no actual choking, multiple orgasms, and Eddie referring to himself as ‘master’ a grand total of one (1) time! 
♡*♡*♡
You weren’t sure how it had happened, but your best friend was on top of you. His cock was hard against your thigh. His gentle breath was fanning across your face.
It was supposed to be a regular sleepover at your house. But then there had been this energy in the air. This tension. It wasn’t new, you’d felt it before. You’d felt it every night he’d slept in bed with you and hadn’t touched you. Every morning you woke up and felt his hardness against your ass, but pretended like it wasn’t there. But now, here he was, above you, his hand stuffed up your shirt, rolling your nipple between his fingers. You whimper weakly below him.
With only the low light of your nightlight in the corner of your bedroom, all you can see is his face. Those deep brown eyes staring intently into yours. Measuring your every movement, your every breath.
“Fuck, look at you,” Eddie says, pain lacing his tone. You shiver involuntarily at his words and gasp sharply when he tweaks your nipple meanly between his fingers. Wetness drips from your slick hole like it’s weeping, crying out for him. “I knew you were a virgin, but Christ, sweetheart, no one’s ever even groped your pretty tits before, have they?” Eddie asks rhetorically, squeezing your breast to emphasize his point.
Your resulting squeak is answer enough for him. You feel like you could cry, it’s all so overwhelming; his body weight on top of you–somehow menacing, but comforting all at once–, his rough hands groping you, his proximity, his scent, his words.
Tilting his head at you, Eddie coos at your pout, at the glassy quality of your eyes.
“You’re just a pathetic little virgin, huh? Too shy to tell me what you want. Bet you’d let me do anything I wanted to you. Isn’t that right, angel?”
Your face warms and you feel hot all over as your cunt throbs desperately. You would let him do anything he wanted to you. So you nod ever so slightly and Eddie’s brows knit together.
“Of course you would. Cause even though no one’s stuffed you full of cock yet, you’re just a desperate whore.”
Whining at his words, your back arches into his body, trying to get impossibly closer, trying to fuse as one.
“Yes,” You agree.
Eddie rolls his hips into yours and groans at the friction. He’s only in his boxers, that’s how he sleeps. Even when he’s in bed with you. He’s thick and long and you need him inside of you right now. You think you might die or explode or scream if he doesn’t stuff you full at this very moment. But you know he won’t. Because he wants to torture you. Wants to rile you up, make you cry. He’d told you so, confessed it to you in the darkness just before this all began.
“And because you’re a desperate whore, I bet your panties are soaked. I bet you’re drenched and leaking onto the sheets…Why don’t I check?”
Nodding vigorously, you beg, “Please, please.”
With that, his hand begins its slow descent down your body, his rough palm running down the length of your torso until he reaches the hem of your sleep shorts. Instead of sliding underneath them however, Eddie keeps his hand moving. You gasp as it passes over your mound, and then choke out a moan when his large hand cups your hot cunt, pressing into the soft material of your shorts and rubbing harshly.
“Oh, look at that. You soaked right through your shorts, baby. How pathetic,” Eddie teases, then leans down as he continues rubbing you harshly over your shorts. His mouth envelopes your nipple, sucking it into his mouth, nipping at it.
You whine underneath him, kicking your legs out in frustration.
“Eddie, please! I want-” But you can’t bring yourself to finish the sentence. Not even now when he has you shaking beneath him from a simple hand over your sex.
His movements cease and his mouth releases your breast with a pop. Eddie stares up at you darkly, his eyes simmering in the low light.
“What was that?”
“I-I-” You stutter, unable to just say it.
Eddie removes his hand from you completely and you whine again, pout returning to your lips.
“Tell me or I leave you here, wet, and hot, and needing, while I go tug my cock in the bathroom,” He threatens, and you know he’s serious. Know that he would leave you here. Know that he would go straight to your bathroom, pull his cock free from his boxers, and you would be cursed to listen to the slick sound of his hand tugging at his cock until he came over his fist.
You huff like a petulant child, not wanting to have to say it. Not wanting to admit it aloud.
“Fine,” Eddie says, pushing himself off of you.
“Wait!” You whisper-shout in a panic. Eddie stops, but doesn’t lower himself back over you quite yet.
His brow quirks.
When you don’t say anything for a moment, Eddie says, “I’m waiting.”
Sighing and squeezing your eyes shut in complete humiliation, you will the words to leave your mouth.
“I need your–your cock,” You say, whispering the final word far quieter than the first three.
Eyes still squeezed shut, you can’t tell what Eddie’s reaction had been. But he doesn’t move. Doesn’t say anything. So, you open one of your eyes slowly, trying to sneak a peak at him.
“Say it again,” Eddie demands when your one eye finds his. “Louder. Eyes open.”
You open your other eye. Eddie holds eye contact, tilts his head at you expectantly.
Drawing in a breath, you muster all the courage in your body to try and say it again.
“I need your cock.”
Eddie’s lips quirk up in a smirk as he lowers himself back onto you and leans in closely, down by your ear; so close his lips graze the sensitive skin of your lobe.
“Good girl.”
You huff, frustrated by his teasing, but your belly burns with lust, betraying the air of annoyance you’re trying to give off.
“But first… I wanna play with this sweet, little cunt.”
You barely have time to register his words, to allow them to sink in and affect you before Eddie is tearing your shorts down your legs in one quick motion and literally tearing your panties in two. Just as quickly, his nimble fingers are drawing slick up from the leaking well of your hole, all the way up to your throbbing clit.
Your arms fly to his shoulders, longing for something to hold onto. “Fuck!”
“There you go, sweetheart. I know it feels good, let it out,” Eddie encourages as his index finger rubs a harsh pattern against the hard little button.
“Mmph!” You squeak, slamming your eyes shut and shoving your face into your shoulder. It feels so much better than your own fingers, so much better than when you shamefully rub the little nub to thoughts of your long-haired, ring-wearing, metal-obsessed best friend until you soak your panties with your cum.
“Nuh-uh, give me your eyes, baby. Give me your eyes, or I stop.”
Reluctantly, you open your eyes, but can’t bring yourself to tilt your head so you’re face-to-face with the man who’s touching you. When you don’t do as you’re told, Eddie’s free hand comes up from its place on your hip where he was holding you down to grip your face meanly, squashing your cheeks together and forcing you to look him in the eyes.
Your mouth falls open in a wanton moan, brows knitted together at the pleasure-pain, at his meanness. Eddie mocks you, his mouth dropping open with an embarrassing imitation of the sound that just left you. It just makes you wetter, makes you gush over his fingers as they speed up over your clit.
“G-gonna cum!”
“Aw, how cute,” Eddie coos. “Can’t even last a full five minutes with my fingers on this sweet little button.”
And you can’t. His mean teasing is what shoves you over the edge. What has you pushing your head back into the pillow below your head while little pops of light explode behind your eyelids. While tension uncoils in your belly and your hole clenches pathetically around nothing.
Heaving in great breaths as you come down, Eddie continues his assault on your clit. You whine, shrinking away from his touch. But Eddie doesn’t stop.
“Too sensitive,” You whine, pouting up at him.
“Don’t care. Wanna see you cum again,” Eddie demands, leaning down to kiss and suck marks into your neck. You gasp at the sting of pain before Eddie soothes over the mark with his tongue. The sensation makes you shiver.
“Can I-can I at least have your cock?” You ask, still trembling, and you have no idea where the confidence to say this came from, but it halts his movements, and Eddie pulls back to look you in the face. He eyes you with curiosity.
His free hand comes up from your hip once again, rising goosebumps over your belly and your chest, before stopping at the base of your throat. Ever so slowly, his hand wraps around your neck, and he squeezes gently once. Your eyes are pleading, but confused. Curious.
“Okay,” Eddie replies simply.
His answer surprises you. You were expecting him to mock you or outright say no and continue rubbing your sensitive clit.
“But you owe me two more orgasms now,” Eddie conditions, and you swallow harshly. Of course his answer had come with a price.
You’ve never cum more than once, how are you supposed to give him two more? But you can’t resist; your hole clenching around nothing when you’d cum had made you want to cry. You’ve never felt so empty in your life. So, you agree. And the second you do, Eddie is shoving his boxers down and pushing your legs apart, lining himself up with your slick entrance.
He doesn’t push in right away though. He paints his pink tip up your messy cunt and rubs it harshly into your clit, causing you to whimper in pleasure-pain.
Sniffling, you beg, “Please, Eddie. Want it inside.”
“You just look so cute like this, though. Clenching around nothing, a sticky mess of your own cum. You’re too sweet for your own good.”
“But-” Before you can finish the rest of your complaint, Eddie grips himself at the base and guides his cock down to your weeping hole, pushing just the leaking tip inside. You gasp in shock.
Then, he pushes in all the way, stuffs you so full you can’t remember where you end and he begins. And it hurts. But not as much as you thought it might. Just a little pressure, a slight pinch. But you’re wet enough that he just slides in easily, and the sound. Oh, God, the sound! It’s slick and dirty and so delicious.
Eddie groans at the perfect slide, at the velvety feeling of your walls around him, so tight, little stars appear in his vision. His arms are braced by your head, causing his hair to become a curtain around you, unable to see anything else but him. Unable to feel anything else but him.
His thrusts are slow and so, so deep. He reaches a place inside of you you hadn’t known existed before tonight.
Your hands come up around his neck and tangle in his hair at the base of his neck.
“You like being full, sweetheart?” Eddie asks, bringing his hand up to brush the sweat off your brow.
“Y-yes…Oh, God,” You moan when his thrusts become harder. Not any faster, just harder, slamming right into a glorious spot inside of you. “There! Right there!”
“Oh, that’s it, huh? There you go…I know, baby, I got you,” He says, repeatedly thrusting in at the same rhythm and angle, hitting that wonderful spot every single time. Then, he brings one of his hands down and starts to toy with your clit again. Most of the sensitivity you had felt earlier is gone now. It only intensifies your pleasure.
“Fuck! Feels good.”
“Yeah? Gonna cum again?”
“Mhm, please!”
“Okay, sweet thing, okay,” Eddie consoles, far sweeter than before as he continues rubbing your clit. And it feels good, but something is missing. And you’re so far gone by now that you feel no shame when you say: “Want you to be mean again. Please.”
Chucking darkly, Eddie applies more pressure into your clit and you nearly scream.
“Now that’s pathetic. You’re just a dumb slut who needs to be bullied in order to cum, is that it?”
“Yes!” You admit.
Eddie’s thrusts become quicker now as his thumb flies over your clit. He moans, head falling into the crook of your neck, trying his hardest not to cum just yet.
“Cum for me then. Cum for your master like the good, stupid slut you are,” Eddie demands in a strained voice, his hips crashing into yours with a force that shoves you further up the bed.
It’s that which pushes you over. His meanness and his dirty pace and rhythm. Cumming for the second time tonight, your ears ring and you can’t even hear yourself whining as you gush all over his cock, clenching around him, feeling deliciously full of him.
Vaguely, after a moment, you hear Eddie’s voice. Something like, such a good girl, did so well. Slowly, you come back to the world, and you can feel him inside of you still. Still hard.
Eddie is stroking your cheek softly with his clean thumb.
“There she is,” He says when your eyes finally focus on him. You smile lazily up at him, drunk on his cock. “Feelin’ good?”
“Mhm,” You hum, totally blissed out, ready to pass out right this second.
“Good. Cause we’re gonna do it again. Because you, my sweet thing, owe me one more.”
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thewulf · 2 days
Text
Bound by Shadows || Azriel
Summary: Request - I'm hoping you could write a fanfic where reader, Feyre's twin, who actually killed the wolf but let Feyre take the credit... and before she realizes what she's done Feyre is gone. She struggles with guilt and isolation in Velaris after the sisters transformation by the Cauldron.... Read Rest Here
A/N: OKAY I LOVE THIS. It got away from me a bit. I didn't realize how fun this world would be to dive into. Let me know your thoughts as always :)
Pairing: Azriel Shadowsinger x Female Reader (Feyre Archeron Twin Sister)
Word Count: 8.2k +
TW: General ACOTAR TW
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Under the starlit skies of Velaris the City of Starlight pulses with a life of its own. Its vibrant lights reflecting off the river with laughter and music filling the air, breathing life into every cobblestone and corner. But for you the city’s brilliance only deepens the shadows that cling to your soul. Shadows that no light seems capable of dispelling.
You walked alone. Your steps aimless being driven by the restless guilt that gnaws incessantly at your conscience. Every whisper of the wind seems to accuse you, every glance from a passerby seems to pierce through the facade you barely maintain. The weight of the secret you harbor presses down on you with every step… the wolf, the woods, the dreadful slice of the arrow that was meant to protect Feyre not harm her. But Feyre stepped forward and shouldered the blame. She was taken from you in an instant and forced to face the horrors of the faerie lands. It was all to shield you her twin she thought of being too gentle, too fragile for the brutal truths of that world.
The transformation wrought by the Cauldron has only magnified everything. Every emotion, every fear, every shard of guilt. It was supposed to be a rebirth but for you it feels more like a slow descent into a nightmare from which you cannot awaken. The power that now courses through your veins feels like chains. A constant reminder of the price paid to the mother. Of the freedom you don’t believe you deserve.
As you wander through the bustling streets the sounds of celebration around you clash violently with the turmoil within. Families and lovers share warm, joyous moments. Their laughter echoing in the crisp night air while you drift among them. You were simply a specter unseen, untouched by the light of their joy. Your heart aches with a loneliness so profound it threatens to consume you whole. To reduce your existence to a mere shadow of regret and sorrow.
You find yourself on one of the many ornate bridges spanning the Sidra. A place you often found some sort of solace in. You leaned over the balustrade to gaze into the dark waters below. The reflection of the city’s lights dances across the surface, a stark contrast to the darkness that seems to stretch endlessly beneath. It is here in the quiet far enough away from the eyes of those who know you, those who worry over you, that your facade finally cracks.
Tears that were unbidden and unwelcome, spill over, tracing cold paths down your cheeks. You are tired. So incredibly tired of pretending. Of hiding the depth of your pain. You wish to scream so loud. To let out the anguish that fills you, but your voice is as lost as your soul feels in the face of your endless guilt. Instead, you just stare down at the dark waters with silent sobs wracking your body. It was better this way. You couldn’t let Feyre see you like this. She was finally so happy. So happy with her mate. Her Rhysand. You couldn’t threaten that happiness. You owed her so much more than that. You quite literally owed her your life. So, you would suck it up in solace. Cry it out on your own.
In the solitude of the night, you allowed yourself to feel your overwhelming emotions. To acknowledge the pain and the darkness. Little did you know you are not as alone as you believe. From the shadows an Illyrian figure watches you. His own heart heavy with unspoken secrets. Azriel was the spymaster of night court for a reason. He picked up on you disappearing for hours at a time when the others didn’t. He picked up on the fake smiles you threw everyone’s way. He seemed to pick up on it while the others didn’t… other than Feyre who seemed to watch you just as much as he did. He decided he would watch over you. For Feyre, his brothers mate. And for you. The woman who couldn’t seem to get used to being Fae as easily as your sisters did. The human turned Fae that consumed more of his thoughts than he cared to admit.
But for now, he waited behind his shadows. A silent guardian in the night recognizing that some battles must be faced alone before they can be shared.
You returned from the bustling markets of Velaris with arms laden with the myriad items Feyre requested. As you approach the townhouse the warm light from within spills out onto the cobblestones. It was a stark contrast to the dusk settling over the city. You pause at the door steeling yourself with a deep breath before stepping inside. Your smile as you hand the bags to Feyre doesn't quite reach your eyes. But she's too caught up in the moment to notice.
"Thank you so much," she says with a relief evident as she starts to unpack the food you’d volunteered to pick up for her. She pauses before she got too carried away giving you that look, the one you've come to know so well. The one that silently implores you to stay. To be a part of her world. "Will you stay for dinner? Everyone's coming over. Even Amren agreed to come. It would mean so much to me."
Her eyes are pleading and you know you can't refuse. Not when she's given up so much for you. With a nod you agree even as your stomach tightens at the thought of facing everyone. It was easy to fake your inner turmoil when it was only her or Rhys. But when it was the entirety of the Inner Circle it was harder to hide away. Inevitably someone would get you hooked in on a conversation. You haven't sat down with them since… well, since before the Cauldron. Since before everything changed. And that was almost an entire year ago now. You knew this request would come sooner or later. Though you were hoping for later you were going to suck it up for Feyre.
As the evening wears on the townhouse fills with laughter and conversation with everyone gathering in the familiar camaraderie that once felt like home to you. But now you feel like an outsider watching from the shadows even as you sit among them. At the dinner table you're terribly quiet. You were merely pushing food around your plate listening to the ebb and flow of conversations you can't force yourself to seem to join.
Feyre decided to sit beside you in hopes of calming your nerves. She notices. She notices the way your eyes were downturned. The way you occasionally nodded your head or smiled briefly pretending to be listening. The way you didn’t pick your fork up once. Her joy fades a little each time she glances your way. You didn’t notice the way her expression turned from mirth to concern. She squeezed your hand under the table in a silent message of solidarity and love. But even her touch can't pull you from the fog that's settled over you. You couldn’t help but wonder if this was your punishment? To live in a hazed state for thousands of years? Oh, how you wished to be a tiny little human again with the promise of dead after a hundred years or so.
Rhysand sat at the head of the table catches Feyre’s subtle, worried glances towards her twin. She meets his eyes with a silent conversation passing between them. She didn’t know what to do anymore. She needed help. He nods slightly. His expression was solemn, understanding the depth of her worry. His gaze then shifts to you filled with a quiet resolve. He knew you were struggling but didn’t pick up on just how much you were. You’d done a masterful job until tonight hiding it away.
Rhysand had felt the ripple of concern from Feyre long before she voiced it. Her distress over your withdrawal echoing within him. She watched you with a sister's keen eye and her silent worry bled into their shared bond. A testament to her deep care for you.
Azriel, Feyre is troubled by Y/N's state. As am I. Rhysand's thought reached out to his brother that was sitting next to you. There was a thread of urgency woven through the mental call. She's pulling away and Feyre feels it deeply. Keep an eye on her please? Help her if you can.
Azriel's presence in Rhysand's mind was immediate and calm. He was steady force amid the silent storm of concern. I'm already on it, Rhys. I’ve sensed it too, he assured. His mental voice as composed as the shadows he commanded. You don't need to worry. I’ve been watching over her not out of obligation, but because... because she matters to me. I’ll make sure she’s safe and supported.
Azriel’s vigilance came not from an order but from a place of quiet solidarity. His attunement to the nuances of emotion and the unspoken had already drawn him to your side. Rhysand’s request merely echoed the actions he’d already undertaken. His actions were born from a blend of duty and a deep, personal concern that Azriel rarely let show. In the face of Feyre's distress and now Rhysand’s request, he became a silent sentinel for you. He needed to ensure that you were not only protected but also truly seen and understood.
Dinner continues around you as you withdrew into yourself. The laughter a stark contrast to the turmoil raging within you. You're barely aware of Azriel's presence on your other side until you feel him beside you. His chair slightly closer than usual. His voice is soft, almost lost in the surrounding noise, as he leans in. "You don't have to be anything you're not, not here," he murmurs only for you to hear. "It’s okay to just be. To just breathe." His words meant to comfort felt like a lifeline in the sea of your tumultuous thoughts. You didn’t look at him for you were worried tears might spill over. But you nodded in acknowledgement letting him know that you heard him.
The evening slowly winds down and as the others linger over drinks and stories Azriel stays by your side. His presence a steady promise of understanding and patience. He doesn't push you to talk nor does he expect smiles. Instead, he offers the silent support you didn't know you needed, becoming a guardian not just of your safety, but of your peace.
Feyre watches this exchange with a glimmer of hope lighting up her worried features. Perhaps with Azriel's help you might find your way back to them. To yourself. Tonight, though, is just a small step in your journey back to yourself.
As everyone departs for the night you linger in the living room feigning interest in tidying up the small mess left behind. Feyre watches you for a moment with that same concern etching her features. But she decided against speaking, sensing your need for space.
Once the house is quiet you decide to step out for a walk under the night sky of Velaris. It had become your favorite routine. A routine that kept you grounded. A quick walk to your favorite spot on the Sidra. The city's soft lights reflect gently on the river casting dancing patterns on the water. It's beautiful yet the sight does little to ease the tightness in your chest.
You're so lost in your thoughts that you don't notice Azriel's approach until he's almost beside you. His presence is calming and somehow it doesn't startle you. Perhaps because in your heart you know he understands the need for quiet. His own demeanor is often just as reserved.
"Good evening," he says. His voice a low rumble. "Care for some company or would you prefer solitude tonight?"
You consider his offer for a moment. Company might not be so bad even though this was usually just a place for you. But it was Azriel. Someone who respects the silence as much as you do. "Company sounds nice, thank you," you reply with your voice softer than you intended.
Azriel nods falling into step beside you. As you walk his shadows play at your feet. It was a subtle yet comforting gesture. At one point one of his shadows curls around your hand. This small, almost imperceptible touch from his shadows offers a silent, comforting presence that envelops you in a sense of security. Neither of you speaks as you walk along the riverbank. The only sounds was the gentle lapping of water against the shore and the distant hum of the city. The silence between you is more than comfortable, filled with an unspoken understanding that words can sometimes be too cumbersome.
After a while though Azriel speaks up. He wasn’t looking at you but staring out at the water. "It's easy to feel lost in this city… even with its lights and crowds. Sometimes it feels like being surrounded by shadows even in the brightest part of the day."
You glance at him, surprised by the reflection of your own feelings in his words. "Yes, it does," you agree. You were feeling a weight lift slightly knowing that someone else understands.
He nods slightly at your words, "The shadows aren't all there is though. There are places, moments like these, that can offer some respite. And not all shadows are bad." He smiles looking down at the ones that clung to your feet.
His words make you look at him anew. You weren’t just seeing the spymaster or the warrior but someone who also seeks to find balance between the light and the dark. It makes you wonder if perhaps in this shared moment you might find a way to navigate your own shadows. They might not all be bad you had to agree with him.
You don't say much more as you walk back to the townhouse, but the silent agreement hangs between you, comforting and promising. Maybe, just maybe, you're not as alone as you thought.
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The dawn is still a whisper of light across Velaris as you sit quietly by the Sidra. The gentle murmur of the river a soothing background to your thoughts that never seemed to shut the hell up. Lost in the reflections of the dancing water you hardly notice Azriel’s approach until he’s beside you. His presence as quiet as the morning. It was becoming a routine for him to join you on the river it seemed. Not that you minded. He might be the one person you’d happily accept to intrude on your solitude.
“You’re up early,” he remarks softly not wanting to startle you. His tone as gentle as the river’s flow.
You look up with a soft smile on your face. His familiar, reassuring presence is a comfort. “Just needed some air,” you reply with a yawn. Your voice carrying the weight of another sleepless night.
Azriel nods, understanding. He looks out over the water for a moment sharing the silence with you. Then, turning back to you, he suggests, “Come with me. I think I have something that might help clear your head. Help you to focus a bit.”
You’re hesitant. The idea of doing anything but sitting quietly feels daunting. But there’s something about his offer. The promise of relief, however temporary, that nudges you to your feet.
“It’s just training,” he adds. seeing your uncertainty. “Physical activity can be a good way to let out some of the emotions that are harder to express in words. We’ll take it slow. You set the pace.”
Trusting Azriel’s judgment, knowing he wouldn’t push you into something without reason, you stand and follow him towards the training grounds. The city is quietly waking around you and the walk is silent but comfortable. His presence a steady reassurance by your side. Something you were slowly growing to cherish.
As you reach the secluded training area the first rays of sunlight begin to warm the cool morning air. Azriel gives you a small, encouraging smile. “Let’s start simple. No pressure. Just you learning to trust your strength again.”
The training starts at an easy pace. Azriel guiding you through basic maneuvers. His patience was evident. But as your body begins to warm up with the activity and your focus sharpens on the movements. There was that sense of release you never knew could come. It was unfamiliar yet welcome that starts to take hold on you.
As the morning sun climbs higher the training session progresses under Azriel's watchful eye. You find yourself gradually syncing with the rhythm of the physical exertion. Each movement flushing out the restless energy that has been building up inside you. Azriel's guidance is firm yet encouraging and you start to feel a rare sense of accomplishment as you slowly master each new maneuver he throws at you.
But as the session intensifies Azriel begins to push you harder, increasing the pace and complexity of the drills. His softness changed into some else. You knew he was only pushing you to help but it was starting to become a little too much. You’d only been Fae for a year to his centuries. "Come on, Y/N, focus. You can handle this," he urges. Throwing a series of rapid, controlled strikes that you're meant to block and counter.
For a moment you rise to the challenge your movements sharp and sure. Yet the physical strain is relentless. All too soon it starts to mirror the inner struggled you've been trying to manage. The boundaries between physical exertion and emotional pain blur… each block and dodge feeling more like a fight against your inner demons rather than a simple training exercise.
Suddenly, one of Azriel's strikes comes a little too close, a little too fast. It isn't meant to hit you and it doesn't but the rush of air as it passes by your face triggers something within you. Panic seizes your chest and the walls you've been holding up begin to crumble. Your movements falter. Your hands drop to your sides rapidly as your breath catches in your throat.
You step back abruptly with short, ragged breaths. Azriel stops immediately, concern replacing the intensity in his eyes. "Hey, are you okay?" he asks all too softly this time. He watched with concern as you struggled to compose yourself.
You nod rapidly trying to blink back the tears that want to rush out. “I’m fine. Just tired.” You murmur. It didn’t even sound believable to you. You turned you back to him so he wouldn’t see the distraught look on your face.
He steps forward with a sadness etched deeply on his features. "It's more than just tiredness, isn't it?" he asks gently as he reached out but stopped short, giving you space yet showing his readiness to support.
You shake your head again trying to compose yourself. Willing yourself to rebuild the barriers crumbling around you. "I'm fine, really, just got a little carried away," you offer weakly with your back still turned, fearing that facing him might reveal too much.
But Azriel doesn’t retreat. Instead, his shadows do what he physically refrains from—they reach out for you. You feel a cool, soothing sensation as one shadow gently curls around your arm, not binding but comforting. It was like a silent message of empathy and support. The unexpected kindness, the soft touch of darkness that doesn’t demand or judge, only seeks to comfort. But it undoes you completely.
Your defenses shatter at the tender contact. Tears finally spilling over as you turn back to face him. The floodgates opened by the gentle brush of his shadow. "I'm not fine," you admit, your voice choked with emotion. "It's all just... it's too much sometimes. I feel like I'm drowning in what I had to do. In what Feyre had to endure because of me. All because of me."
Azriel listens with his gaze never wavering. His eyes were filled with compassion and a profound understanding. His shadow retracts slightly giving you a moment, respecting your space while keeping the silent promise of his presence.
He nods his head willing you to continue. "Let it out, Y/N. You don't have to carry this alone," he says quietly finding the courage to step closer now. He opened his arms to you in an offer of comfort that you no longer have the strength to refuse.
As you step into his embrace, allowing yourself to be held, the warmth of his body contrasts with the cool touch of his shadows creating a cocoon of safety around you. "I was the one who killed the wolf that started this whole mess," you confess through sobs. Your words muffled against his chest. "Feyre took the blame to protect me... because she thought I couldn't handle the consequences."
“It’s okay,” he whispers. His voice close to your ear. “You were never meant to carry this alone.” He pauses. His hand gently lifting your chin so you can look at him. “Feyre’s path was her own. Fate had a hand in it. She was meant to meet Rhysand through Tamlin. To find her way to the Night Court. It couldn’t have been you, Y/N. Your path is different and it’s still unfolding.”
You shake your head feeling the weight of it all. “But-“
Azriel’s hold tightens reassuringly. His wings stretched around you before he stops you. “She did what she believed was right, out of love. And now you need to allow yourself to be loved and supported, too. Let your family be here for you. Let me be here for you.” he pleads, his tone imbued with a promise. In the safety of Azriel’s wings with the gentle embrace of his shadows, you feel a lightness you haven’t felt in a long time.
Beneath the shelter of his wings Azriel holds you close feeling the profound shift within as your eyes meet. In that moment a golden thread previously unseen but always present tightens, binding your soul to his. The mating bond ignites with a radiant force, undeniable and transformative.
This newfound connection stirs a deep protectiveness in Azriel, an urge to cherish and guard you that feels both ancient and freshly awakened. Love pulses through this bond unspoken yet palpable aligning his heartbeat with yours. He experiences a profound sense of belonging, understanding now that every moment with you, every shared concern, was leading to this revelation.
With the emergence of the bond, Azriel, who often cloaked himself in mystery, finds in you a clarity that illuminates his existence. This bond does not overwhelm; instead, it completes him, brightening his path forward. The world around him expands promising a journey not walked alone but side by side, in step with each breath.
Yet, the magnitude of this discovery brings a mix of elation and a daunting sense of responsibility. You are vulnerable, your soul laid bare before him, and he is cautious not to burden you further. Internally, Azriel grapples with the desire to declare the bond versus the need to provide you with stability and support without the shock of this revelation.
He resolves to keep this monumental discovery to himself for now, focusing on being your steadfast support. His shadows as a subtle extension of his will, curl gently around you both. They offered a protection and comfort without overwhelming you with the truth.
Azriel knows he must seek Rhysand’s counsel to navigate the complexities of this bond with sensitivity and respect for your emotions. As he holds you he silently vows to take this journey at a pace that honors both your readiness and the bond’s potential. Wrapped in his embrace, Azriel stands as your guardian bonded by fate yet guided by a deep respect for the journey your heart needs to undertake.
"You've been strong today," Azriel whispers into your hair as he senses your grip tighten. "Let's head back home. You need rest." His voice is as soothing as the twilight and his offer is tender, without any urgency that might hint at the truth simmering beneath his calm exterior.
The walk back from the training grounds is quiet, filled with a companionable silence that speaks of shared struggles and mutual care. As Azriel guides you to Feyre's studio, where she immerses herself in swathes of color and light, his touch lingers reassuringly on your arm. It's an affirmation of his presence, his support, his unspoken pledge to be there for you, come what may.
You offer him a soft smile. One that acknowledges the solace his presence brings even though you were still oblivious to the tectonic shift in his inner landscape. Azriel returns your smile with a quiet intensity, a vow that when the time comes for the bond to reveal itself to you he'll be there, just as he is now—steadfast, protective, and utterly devoted.
A subtle shift in Azriel’s demeanor as he prepares to leave catches Feyre's sharp eye. There's a fleeting tension, a trace of something potent and profound flickering in the depths of his usually inscrutable eyes. It's a glimpse of vulnerability. An undercurrent of panic that he's quick to disguise but not before Feyre takes note. Something significant has unsettled the shadowsinger and it likely had to do with you.
With a nod that holds more gravity than usual Azriel turns to go. His steps are measured but the urgency in his exit is apparent to anyone who knows him well. Once he steps beyond the view of the townhouse his wings unfurl, a dark silhouette against the Velaris skyline. He takes to the air with a speed driven by the need for counsel. For understanding the newly realized bond weighing on him with a mix of awe and anxiety.
He lands at the House of Wind with an intensity that is uncharacteristic for him. His feet touching down on the stone with a thud. There's no time for hesitation as he makes his way to where he knows he'll find Rhysand, perhaps Cassian too. The door to the study bursts open under his force and he stands there as a figure riddled with the shock of his own heart's awakening.
Inside the study, Rhysand and Cassian pause mid-conversation as the unexpected clamor announces Azriel's approach. Concern flickers over their faces. A stark, thunderous arrival is not Azriel's way.
"Are you alright, Az?" Cassian is the first to react. His voice tinged with concern as he notes Azriel's agitated state.
Azriel pauses before catching his breath. His demeanor one of a man grappling with overwhelming news. "It's the mating bond," he manages to say with his voice tight of emotion. "With Y/N—it just... it just snapped into place."
Rhysand rises from his chair. His expression shifting to one of understanding as he processes Azriel's words. The air in the room thickens with the significance of his declaration and there's a moment of collective stillness as they all absorb the meaning.
Cassian’s previous levity fades into a solemn gravity, reflecting the seriousness of Azriel's revelation. "That’s... big news, Az. How are you feeling about this?" he asks as he stepped closer in caution.
Rhysand, maintaining his composure, offers a supportive nod. "This is a momentous time, Azriel. We’re here for you, whatever you need," he assures him embodying the role of the leader who understands the profound implications of such a bond.
Azriel exhales deeply the reality of the situation settling in. "It's overwhelming," he concedes. A frown creasing his brow. "I mean, I hoped, maybe even wished for it. But now that it’s here, it feels... heavy." He looks up. His expression serious. "She’s still healing. I need to be careful. Need to make sure this doesn’t overwhelm her."
Rhysand gives a supportive nod. "Just keep being there for her, Az. You’ve always managed to support her without pushing. This doesn’t change your approach just your understanding of the connection."
Cassian smirks, pushing off from the table and clapping Azriel on the back with a bit more force than necessary. "Look at you all serious and broody—more than usual, I mean. Come on, Az, you know you're probably the only one who can handle this with the perfect blend of mystery. Besides," he adds with a wry grin, "have you seen the way she looks at you when you're not looking? That’s not just gratitude my friend. It’s like she’s hit the jackpot and she doesn’t even know it yet."
Azriel can’t help but crack a small smile despite the turmoil inside. "Thanks, Cass. I just don’t want to mess this up."
"Don’t worry so much, brother," Cassian chuckles, his tone light but earnest. "You’re doing fine. Plus, if you start floating around like a lovestruck bat, I’ll be here to pull you back down."
Rhysand laughs softly before shaking his head at the general. "He’s right, though. Take it step by step, Azriel. Let her come to terms with her own feelings. When she’s ready it’ll be right for both of you."
Feeling somewhat lighter Azriel nods appreciatively at his brothers. "Step by step," he repeats, firming his resolve. With a final nod he steps back into the night bolstered by the mix of Cassian’s humor and Rhysand’s leadership. He was ready to face the future with a heart full of hope and a mind cautious of the delicate balance he needs to maintain.
Back in the townhouse Feyre greets you with that mischievous grin that heralds some sisterly teasing. She sets her paintbrush down before wiping her hands on a cloth as her eyes sparkle with playful curiosity. "So, what did you do to him?" she teases with a smirk on her face.
You frown genuinely puzzled by her question. "What? Nothing, I... we were just training, then he said he had to go." Your voice trails off mirroring your confusion over Azriel's sudden change in demeanor.
Feyre chuckles, shaking her head as she picks up her brush again. "That man is always so mysterious. But don't worry it's probably just Azriel things. Or maybe, just maybe, you're the perfect distraction for our dear spymaster."
"What are you on about?" you ask while feeling a mix of amusement and bewilderment at her jest.
"Oh, please!" Feyre laughs, her brush dancing over the canvas. "He looks at you like every moment you spend together is something precious. Like you're a rare painting he can't quite believe he's stumbled upon."
"You're imagining things," you dismiss her. Shaking your head with a smile. "Azriel is just being kind. He's like that with everyone."
Feyre gives you a knowing look. Her smirk broadening. "Sure, he’s kind to everyone, but with you it’s different. He doesn’t look at anyone else quite like he looks at you. Like you’ve cast a spell on him and he’s trying to figure out how to live with the enchantment."
Her words make you pause. The playful insinuation tugging at the edges of your thoughts. Despite your dismissal Feyre’s observation lingers. A teasing possibility that maybe there's a hint of truth in her playful assertions. The room fills with your laughter, a sound that masks the flutter of curiosity her words have sparked.
Unbeknownst to you while you puzzle over Azriel's sudden departure, Feyre's mind is swiftly connecting with Rhysand's. A silent inquiry flits through their bond: Something's up with Azriel, he seemed... off. Did I miss something?
Rhysand's mental response comes with a chuckle that Feyre can almost hear: He’s fine, love. Just had a bit of a revelation. He’ll share when he's ready.
A spark of mischief lights up Feyre’s eyes as understanding dawns on her. Her lips curve into a sly, knowing grin. But she carefully masks any hint of her newfound knowledge from you. "You know, I think we deserve some fun today. Just us twins. You’ve been pushing hard with all that training and brooding," she suggests. Her voice bubbling with an excitement that piques your curiosity.
"Really? What did you have in mind?" you ask. Your earlier confusion over Azriel's behavior giving way to intrigue at Feyre's sudden enthusiasm.
"Oh, just a day for us to unwind and maybe get into a little mischief," Feyre replies, winking. "We can leave the mysteries of shadowy spymasters behind and focus on spoiling ourselves."
You laugh while nodding in agreement, relieved to set aside the morning's puzzles. "That sounds perfect, actually."
As the day unfolds with Feyre leading the way with her occasional secretive smiles and the warmth of her company envelop you, making you feel cherished and a part of something larger than just sisterly bonding. Every now and then she throws you a look filled with unspoken laughter as if she's in on a joke that’s yet to be told adding an intriguing layer to your day out.
"Enjoy today," Feyre says at one point. Her grin infectious. "Because who knows? Tomorrow you might find yourself swept off your feet in ways you never expected." Her words are light, but they dance with implication, leaving you wondering about the possibilities that tomorrow might bring.
As the days unfold since your training session you begin to notice an unusual shift in Azriel's behavior when he's around you. Always the quiet, stoic presence, he now seems to carry an air of nervousness that is both surprising and endearing. It's as if he's forgotten how to be around you. His typically smooth demeanor replaced with an awkwardness that sends a ripple of amusement throughout your days.
During your daily routines, whether you're practicing combat skills or just strolling through the lush gardens of the Night Court, Azriel is consistently by your side. Yet, his typical quiet confidence seems to falter. Today when he hands you a training sword his fingers not only linger but also tremble slightly against yours. The contact is brief but the moment his skin brushes against yours a visible blush creeps up his neck coloring his cheeks in a rare show of discomposure.
"Sorry," he stutters. Quickly retracting his hand as if scorched by the brief contact. He averts his gaze making sure to look anywhere but at you. His discomfort palpable in the tight set of his shoulders.
You can't help but tilt your head eyeing him with a mixture of concern and curiosity. "Azriel, are you alright?" you ask with a hint of a smile on your lips. Your voice is soft though hoping to ease some of his evident tension. The gardens around you bloom vibrantly. A stark contrast to Azriel’s suddenly flustered state.
He clears his throat attempting to regain some of his usual composure. "Yes, I'm... fine," he manages. His voice a notch higher than usual. He meets your gaze again holding it for a moment longer than he intends. The intensity of his stare both confusing and thrilling.
Just then as if to spite Azriel, Cassian strolls by and upon noticing Azriel's flushed face and your puzzled expression he can't help but let out a snicker. "Lost your cool, Shadowsinger?" he teases, winking at you before continuing on his way with a chuckle. "You’re usually smoother than this, brother!"
Azriel shoots Cassian a brief glare but there's a resigned humor in his eyes that suggests he knows just how out of character he must seem. As Cassian’s laughter fades into the distance Azriel finally turns back to you attempting a sheepish smile.
"It seems I'm a bit out of sorts today," he admits. His voice finally steadying. "Nothing to worry about, really."
Watching Azriel grapple with this uncharacteristic awkwardness only endears him more to you. There’s a sweetness in his struggle. A reminder that beneath the composed façade of the Night Court’s spymaster lies a depth of emotion rarely seen but profoundly felt.
On a tranquil afternoon in the Night Court, you find yourself relaxing in one of the quieter gardens alongside Feyre, Rhys, and Azriel. The air is filled with gentle laughter and the soft rustling of leaves. Cassian and Nesta are notably absent, presumably because Cassian has taken it upon himself to "help" Nesta with some errands—a pursuit that everyone knows often ends in playful bickering and affectionate banter.
Elain has also opted for a day out with Lucien exploring new botanical gardens on the outskirts of the city. Her passion for plants and Lucien's support in her endeavors showcases the growing bond between them.
The conversation flows easily until Rhys, with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes, steers it towards Azriel’s recent scouting mission. "Azriel here stumbled upon something quite intriguing recently, didn’t you?" he teases while watching Azriel closely.
Caught off-guard Azriel’s response is delayed, his eyes widening slightly as if Rhys had tread into forbidden territory. "It was nothing out of the ordinary," he finally mutters. Though his voice holds a trace of unease.
Feyre jumps into the fray. Her tone laced with playful curiosity. "Oh, but I heard it was quite the discovery. Rare and fascinating… something that might deeply engage a man’s interest."
You laugh completely oblivious to the underlying meaning and look at Azriel with raised eyebrows. "What was it, Az? Some kind of hidden gem or a lost artifact?"
There’s a brief moment where Azriel’s composure falters under your direct gaze, his eyes meeting yours before quickly glancing away. He recovers quickly, however, a slight flush on his cheeks. "Yes, something like that," he agrees, his voice steadying. "A discovery that could indeed change one’s perspective for a lifetime."
Rhys doesn't miss a beat adding with a light chuckle, "Let’s hope it’s not kept secret too long. Such treasures are better when shared, right?"
Feyre nods enthusiastically. Her eyes dancing with amusement. "Especially when they bring people closer together, right, Az?"
Azriel meets Feyre’s gaze. His expression settling into a subtle smile that hints at his deep thoughts. “Indeed,” he replies quietly, the single word rich with unspoken meaning, affirming the sentiment with his usual succinct eloquence.
As the conversation moves on the jokes and laughter continue, your heart warmed by the newfound perspective you found with them. Azriel watches you with a gentle, albeit slightly wistful smile. He noticed how much more you're around, how your laughter fills the air more often, and how your vibrant personality begins to shine through once more. His heart fills with a mixture of relief and deep affection, seeing the signs of your healing. In these moments he cherishes the progress you've made feeling hopeful about the future. He was ready to support you every step of the way as the true nature of his discovery waits to be shared with you.
As the weeks blend into months, the connection between you and Azriel deepens. It was nurtured by shared moments and his unwavering support. On a crisp evening as the sun begins its descent painting the sky with strokes of pink and gold, Azriel brings you to a secluded hilltop that overlooks Velaris. This spot was known only to him and offers a panoramic view of the city as it starts to twinkle with the first lights of evening, the natural grassy surface underfoot soft and inviting.
Standing close by his presence was both comforting and solid, Azriel shares a story, his voice low and warm, recounting a humorous mishap from his early days as a spymaster. The tale is endearing, revealing a less guarded side of him and laughter bubbles up freely from your throat.
As your laughter transitions into a soft chuckle, you turn to face him. The last rays of the sunset bathe Azriel in a warm, golden light that illuminates his features, casting a glow that outlines him like an ethereal halo. His eyes that were filled with affection and a hint of amusement, meet yours. In that instant something profound shifts within you.
It feels as if a key has turned, unlocking something wondrous and overwhelming. The mating bond, which has been delicately weaving its way through each of your interactions, now clicks into place with perfect clarity. The sensation is electrifying yet profoundly comforting. Resonating through your very being.
Your breath catches and your heart races—not just from the shock of the realization but from the undeniable rightness that surges through you. Azriel, noticing the subtle transformation in your expression halts his story. A flicker of concern crossing his face.
"Are you okay?" he asks with his voice tinged with worry. The humor from his story now replaced by attentive care.
A mix of joy and amazement washes over you as you feel a comforting swirl of his shadows around your feet. Like curious creatures affirming this new connection. "Azriel, I think... I think the mating bond just…," you trailed off unsure how to continue. Your voice was filled with awe. The realization brings a new depth to your smile as you meet his gaze which is now shimmering with a mixture of relief and happiness.
"That's what I've been feeling," Azriel breathes out, a tender smile spreading across his face as he steps closer. He reaches out gently brushing a stray lock of hair from your face. "I've been waiting, hoping you would feel it too when the time was right."
Taking his hand, you feel a warmth that goes beyond physical touch. A connection that seeps into the depths of your soul. "I’m glad it’s you," you say quietly, sincerely, the words flowing easily.
Azriel’s other hand comes up to gently cup your cheek. His touch feather light. "And I’m honored it’s you," he responds. His gaze locked with yours. The world around you—the city lights, the soft whisper of the evening breeze—fades into a gentle backdrop to the profound connection you share.
In this moment with Azriel’s shadows dancing around, playful, and protective, you feel a sense of completeness. A promise of endless possibilities. Together, bonded not just by fate but by a mutual understanding you know that whatever the future holds you'll get to navigate it side by side.
As the realization of the mating bond settles between you, Azriel's shadows seem to take on a life of their own. They swirled around you both with a newfound enthusiasm. The delicate tendrils of darkness weave around your legs and occasionally brush against your hands as if testing and reinforcing the connection that has just been acknowledged.
Azriel watches with a tender amusement as his shadows interact with you, their movements more animated than usual. "They seem to have taken quite a liking to you," he comments. His voice warm with affection and a hint of pride. "They're not usually this... attentive."
As the shadows continue their gentle dance around you, one particularly daring tendril snakes up your arm, its touch lighter than a feather. You can't help but laugh. The sound echoing softly in the quiet of the evening. With a delighted grin you reach out to trace the path of the shadow with your fingertips, marveling at the cool, tingling sensation it leaves on your skin.
Azriel continues watching with an affectionate roll of his eyes accompanying his half-smirk. "You're going to spoil them," he teases. His tone light but full of warmth.
Encouraged by your positive reaction another shadow playfully darts forward and mimics the motion of a gentle kiss on your cheek. You giggle with joy, your hand touching the spot in mock surprise and then you're both laughing. A shared moment of joy and wonder at the peculiar yet endearing behavior of the shadows.
Azriel shakes his head, but his eyes shine with amusement. "Now you've done it. They're going to expect this king of attention all the time," he jokes as the shadows around him swirled in what you swear could be shadowy laughter.
"You know, I think I'm okay with that," you respond still smiling as you watch the shadows retreat slightly, as if bashful from the attention. "They're quite charming. Just like someone else I know." You glance up at Azriel with a playful smirk. Enjoying the light flush that colors his cheeks at the compliment.
The shadows, seemingly pleased with their role in this light-hearted exchange, settle more calmly around you both like a contented sigh after a bout of laughter. The protective circle they form feels like a gentle embrace not just from Azriel but from all parts of him.
As the laughter fades Azriel's expression turns tender, his gaze softening as he searches your face looking for any sign of unease. "But seriously," he says with his voice low and earnest, "are you really okay?" His concern is palpable. The bond between you making every emotion, every nuance of feeling that much more intense and meaningful.
You meet his gaze feeling a surge of warmth from his sincere concern. Smiling gently, you nod, the tranquility of the moment filling you with a profound sense of peace. "I really am okay. For the first time in a long time," you admit. Your voice steady and sure. The confession feels like a significant acknowledgment of the journey you've been on and the role Azriel, and his shadows, have played in it.
Azriel's smile in response is radiant. A look of relief and happiness that brightens his entire demeanor. "That's all I’ve ever wanted to hear," he murmurs. His voice soft with emotion. He stands closer, his hand gently squeezing yours. "Come on, love," he whispers with a twinkle in his eyes. "Let's fly home."
With a graceful motion Azriel unfurls his expansive wings, the dark feathers shimmering under the starlight. The sight never fails to take your breath away. He wraps an arm securely around your waist, his touch reassuring. "Ready?" he asks. His voice a low rumble filled with excitement and anticipation.
With a nod you cling to him, feeling the rush of air as he leaps into the sky. Velaris unfolds below you. It was a gorgeous tapestry of lights and shadows. The wind was cool and exhilarating against your face. Flying with Azriel, held close against his chest, the city sprawling beneath you is an experience that feels as if it straddles the line between dream and reality.
The flight is swift and smooth. The quiet only broken by the rushing wind and the steady beat of Azriel's powerful wings. The world seems to shrink away, leaving only the two of you soaring through the night sky. As the House of Wind comes into view Azriel’s descent is gentle, a reminder of his skill and care for you.
You land softly on the balcony, the cool night breeze playing around you, still wrapped in the warmth of his embrace. Just as you touch down the laughter and lively banter of the Inner Circle reach your ears from inside.
As you and Azriel step through the grand doors of the House of Wind the lively atmosphere of the Inner Circle greets you. Cassian's booming voice fills the foyer as he spots you descending from the balcony. "Finally decided to join us, huh? Or were you two plotting to take over Velaris with your love-struck scheming?" he teases, winking not so conspicuously.
Rhysand joins in with a sly grin. His eyes twinkling with mischief. "I think they were busy weaving shadows and starlight. Look how they landed, like a pair of night-blooming flowers." His voice was laden with humor and draws a round of chuckles from around the room.
Feyre, Nesta, and Elain watch from the side, their expressions varying degrees of amusement and affection. Feyre's eyes meet yours and she gives you an approving nod. Her smile suggesting she understands more than she lets on. Nesta’s smirk is more enigmatic but supportive while Elain’s gentle gaze is filled with romantic delight at the scene unfolding before her.
Amid the teasing Azriel keeps you close, his arm remaining protectively around your waist. The warmth of his embrace reassures you. His presence a calming force against the good-natured ribbing. "Ignore them," he murmurs softly against your ear, just loud enough for you to hear over the laughter. His voice is rich with affection and a hint of playfulness that only you are privy to.
"You make it sound so easy," you whisper back, unable to suppress a smile feeling buoyed by the love filling the room.
As the evening progresses the light banter continues, with everyone occasionally casting teasing glances your way, making playful comments about the inseparable duo you and Azriel have become. Despite the jests there’s an underlying current of genuine happiness for you both. A celebration of the deepening bond that everyone seems to recognize and respect.
The night unfolds with shared stories, laughter, and an occasional clinking of glasses in toasts, not just to the night but to new beginnings and magical connections. As you stand by Azriel’s side, surrounded by friends who are more like family. You feel a profound sense of belonging and happiness. Here in the heart of the Night Court, under the watchful eyes of the stars and the soft glow of the city, you are home—not just in place, but in heart, bound by love, laughter, and the eternal dance of shadows and light.
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allonsybadwolf · 1 year
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So I'm slightly obsessed with Severance (2022) and I may have spent like a week straight cutting together an Innie Cut and an Outie cut and holy shit guys it's such an experience. I watched them both straight through like long movies and
(edit: guys it's available now!! Check the notes/reblogs of this post, or check my blog, for how to access it!!)
The Outie Cut is like an obscure offbeat indie dark comedy where none of your questions get answered and there's zero resolution at the end.
You really get to focus on oMark's perspective, which is interesting because in the show it feels like iMark is the main focus. We get to focus on how oMark's depression has impacted his life, and his journey through the confusion of what's happening with Lumon and Severance. The story feels slower and more grounded. It works better than I anticipated.
The Innie Cut is like a slow and unexpected descent into madness. Honestly, I thought the Outie Cut would be spookier, but no. The Innie Cut is very unsettling.
At first, it kind of just feels like a regular kind of office life show, where it's not at all unusual that we never see the characters at home. We only see them in the office because the show is about the office.
But then there are. Things. Very strange unsettling things. Just out of nowhere. With no context from the outside world. No relief from the blinding bright white landscape of Lumon Industries. The hallways that never stop, the walls closing in on you, the fact that you can't ever leave.
And oh my god when they wake up in the outside world in the final episode it is. SO. JARRING. It's been like three plus hours of bright white office at this point. And then suddenly, disconcertingly, you're thrown into this world that is dark and warm but unfamiliar and treacherous and you have to navigate it perfectly and fast or suffer the consequences.
And iMark, at the party. When you watch Severance for the first time, the party scene is a meeting of two worlds that are familiar to you, the viewer. When you watch the Innie Cut, you're just as off balance as iMark. You don't know these people. You don't know who you can trust. You don't know the right thing or the wrong thing to do here.
Anyways I'd love to share these cuts with people but I have no idea how to go about doing that
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astroboots · 10 months
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EVERY YOU EVERY ME: ISSUE #4
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Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x female reader
Summary: Miguel O'Hara saves you from falling off the Chrysler building for a second time, and he's not very happy about it.
Word count: 4,400 words.
Content: Slow burn so slow we're getting a reverse speeding ticket, Spidey-boy has a lot of emotions and really needs therapy, he also swears a lot, tiny speck of angst.
Astroboot’s Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Spiderverse Masterlist
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It's shocking how fast the ground approaches from a height of 72 stories. You always imagined it would take longer given the distance. In movies, the freefall is always captured in a hypnotizing slow motion, but real gravity is brutal and unforgiving.
This time, as you fall through the sky, you don’t see the New York concrete grow wider or nearer. All you see is the vast gap between you and the crystal blue sky rapidly pulling away from you. The buildings looming higher with every second. The blinding sun reflected in the thousands and thousands of glaring windows towering above.
You can't feel your heartbeat or the wind beating against your face. There should be panic. But at the sight of familiar inky-blue piercing through your view, an eerie calm takes over until a comforting numb spreads through your limbs.
Call it misguided naivety. No one should ever place this much trust with their life on a stranger they don't even know to come and save them.
But misguided or not, there's no fear in you this time around. You don't think about how you are plummeting down to your death. Not when you see him speeding after you. Diving head-first into the vast empty space as he closes the distance between you, hand outstretched, reaching for you.
His hand catches around your wrist in mid-air. It's a firm grip like he never means to let go. He reels you in until you're defying gravity, gliding up through the air to meet him until he can wrap his arms around you.
Everything decelerates. The reflection of the rows and rows of windows no longer flashing by. It's a gentle descent as the breeze flows pleasantly through your hair, and if you don't think too hard about how you can't control the direction of movement, you can almost believe you’re flying.
The landing is gentle. He sets you on your feet with such great care that it takes you a second to adjust to the feeling of firm concrete beneath your soles.
Once again, you find yourself standing face to face with the masked superhero who has saved your life more times than you can count on both hands.
You crane your neck to meet his gaze, head tilting upwards until your neck strains, and it strikes you that you've forgotten how tall he was. His head tips down, the dark outline of his masked eyes staring down at you, and it makes the hair on the nape of your neck prickle.
Say something. 
You rack your brain, trying to remember all the questions you had meticulously written down in the notepad hidden in your desk as you planned for this very moment. But they’re missing, wiped cleanly from your mind now that he's here in front of you. Your mouth parts, trying to remember how to use your vocal cords again.
Before you find it, the blue fabric recedes until it reveals his face again. You're met with cutting eyes that glow an otherworldly crimson and the bared sharp canine teeth of a predator as he growls at you. 
"What the hell were you thinking?!" 
The low rumble of his words scrapes down your spine and locks you in a fight or flight response. Except you're doing neither. Fixed in place, unable to move.
One of his hands reaches up to pull at his hair in frustration, as he starts to mumble to himself. He's tugging it so hard you think he's going to yank them out by the roots.
"I can’t believe you! Me estás matando. Casi me da un ataque cardíaco–"
You blink up at him dimly, confused until you realize that he's broken into Spanish. But he's speaking too low and too fast. You can only make out about half of it.
"–No puedo más! I am dying of stress. You're impossible! I turn away for one second…” 
One sentence flows directly into the next without stopping for a single breath, and you're surprised he doesn't go lightheaded from lack of oxygen with how long he goes on.
You raise your hand slightly, reminiscent of a gesture you used to pull in school when you wanted to get the teacher's attention to ask a question. But he doesn't notice. Doesn’t even throw a glance in your direction.
“... and you go Anna Karenina on me. I can't with you, I can't, I can't–"
You try to follow along, looking for an appropriate break in his rant to get a word in edgewise. But like the line of tourists lining up for the Statue of liberty, there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. As rude as it is, the only thing you can think of is clearing your throat, loudly, trying to draw attention to yourself, but that's soundly ignored as well.
"Me vas a sacar canas verdes–-"
One broad hand covers his face as if he's trying to scrub away the beginnings of a migraine, and he keeps going.
Listening to him makes you feel like a child on the receiving end of a scolding by an exasperated parent. Any lingering thread of fear or intimidation gives way to irritation at this man who is so subsumed by his tirade that he doesn't even seem to be aware of your presence, not three feet away from him.
"–Siempre haces esto, una y otra y otra vez–"
You don't know exactly how long he’s been going on for by now, but you know that it's long. You could even swear the shadow by your feet has shifted to the opposite end of the patch of concrete at your feet in the time he’s been talking.
"Well? Aren't you going to say anything?" he asks, apparently finally done. He stands there, arms crossed, with a condescending set to his jaw as he looks down on you.
And god, where to even start with this man? You have enough material about his difficult and avoidant behavior to make a powerpoint presentation out of it. You should block out the boardroom for three whole hours and hold a Q&A after.
How, if he had just spoken to you after you left him not one, not two, but several requests to meet with him, then things could have ended up a lot more civilized.
How, if he hadn't been hiding from you this whole time—gaslighting you— you wouldn't have had to spend over $200 on budget DIY spy crap (in this economy!) on an utterly wasted attempt to catch him. And, to add insult to injury, you’re sure you are never going to use any of that stuff ever again!
How, if he hadn't been talking non-stop and had the self-awareness to take a second to observe others, he'd have realized that you had plenty of things to say to him, if only he had paused long enough to let you.
But somehow in the face of his expectant expression, all that comes out of your mouth is, "I don't know what you want me to say."
His face falls. There's a split second of disappointment, raw and anguished, that flitters across his face. Then it's gone as quickly as it appeared, and he turns away from you. Whatever he was expecting from you, that was obviously not it.
When he speaks again, his voice has turned calm and quiet. He almost sounds resigned.
"Yeah. I don't know either." 
There's a sluggish, awkward silence that lingers on the three feet of concrete stretched between the two of you. The echo of traffic below, the cab horns and chatter swarms the space. After everything that’s happened, it all feels very anti-climatic somehow.
"Can you take me back to my apartment and we can talk? I have coffee. Cake too," you say, trying to break the silence.
"I don't drink coffee." His tone is curt, severing the olive branch you were trying to extend with a sharp snap, and your shoulders sag in defeat and disappointment. But then his face tips back in your direction and meets your eyes. The line of his mouth twitches as if he’s war with himself. 
"But I'll have some cake," he concedes. 
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Had you known that a superhero was coming over for a visit, you'd probably have done a better job of cleaning up and making the place presentable.
You would have put away the heap of unfolded, wrinkly laundry that's piled up on your bed, granny panties in full sight. Would have washed the dirty dishes stacked up in your sink like a dangerous game of porcelain Jenga. Or at least cleared out the sad looking take out box where your half-eaten pizza is still resting in a greased up spot on the table.
Still, you're not sure how impressed he would be even if you had. Your studio apartment is a standard size for NYC, meaning in most other places it would be classified as a closet. With his height, he has to duck to make it through the threshold of your door and can barely stand upright without banging his head against the ceiling. It’s ironic that the window entrance is probably less hazardous for him.
You get him a plate of cake and set it on the table in front of him, delicately placing the dessert fork on the side.
"Sorry, I don't have any cookies for you today, just coffee cake."
The sight of him sitting hunched over your Ingatorp IKEA dining table is slightly comical. The table looks like a miniature doll set against his broad frame, and as he picks up the small dessert fork in his large hand, that only adds to the absurdity of the situation. He looks like he’s playing at having a tea party with a child’s play tea set. 
You sit down across from him, watching him intently, trying to gather the nerve to ask the questions you've been dying to ask since this all started. But you're hesitant and fumbling, stumbling on your words like an idiot, "Uhm, so I wanted to ask if you– if you knew why all of this is happening to–"
"No."
You frown at his interruption. "You didn't let me finish," you protest.
He leans back against his chair, waving away your protests dismissively into the air. "I didn't need you to. The answer is no. Next question."
You bite down on your lip to stave off the curse stuck in your throat, trying to force its way out. You hold it. Stemming the tide, as you focus on the task at hand.
"Who are you?"
His head tilts to the side at your question, as his hand draws up and gestures vaguely over the spider emblem of his costume draped over his chest. "Isn't it obvious?" he snarkily responds, "I'm Spiderman"
Great, he's a rude and sassy superhero. You narrow your eyes at him
"You're not the Spiderman I know of."
He doesn't respond to that. Just glares down at the cake as he pierces it with a sharp stab of the fork, making the porcelain underneath clank. Then he scoops a large spoonful and shovels it into his mouth.
God, who eats cake so angrily?
"Why did you save–" you start, but he holds up one finger, motioning for you to pause. 
He cleaves off another piece of cake and shoves it into his mouth, chewing slowly. You watch as he beats the Guinness record of slowest chewer across the table from you, before you finally get to repeat your question.
"Why do you keep saving me?"
"I'm a superhero. I save people. It's what I do."
Bright irritation pings through you at his sarcastic attitude. 
This is like playing the world's shittiest game of 20 Questions, except here the whole goal of the game is to see whose sanity cracks first.
Naively, you had thought that being able to sit down with him in person would mean you could finally start getting some answers. You hadn't been expecting the need to deploy strategic maneuvers, and you pause, taking your time before you speak. 
You need to pick a question he won't be able to evade. You think back at the footage of the nanny-cam, that time he carried you to bed. The worry when you weren't where he expected you to be. The over-familiarity that seeps out of his every action with you as if he already knows you and that the last thing you heard as you fell off the ledge was his voice calling out your name.
"How did you know my name?" you finally ask him.
His back stiffens at the question, jaw grinding down until the small muscle there flexes with irritation.
"I don't."
Liar.
"You called my name when I fell," you remind him.
This time instead of answering, he slides the now empty plate at you across the table.
"Can I have another slice?"
You frown. It's an obvious ploy to buy himself some time to avoid answering your question. But you can't deny his request either.
With a sigh, you push away your chair to bring the plate to the counter. You cut up an obscenely big slice so that he won't be able to use this as an excuse a second time.
Turning back around, you find that the gluttonous self-proclaimed Spiderman is pinching the bridge of his nose. He looks a little worse for wear, a pained expression etched into those tightly knitted brows.
"Are you okay?" you ask, concerned.
"No. I–" He breaks off, his broad palm gripping the back of the chair, and you notice a slight tremor in his fingers. "Something’s wrong." 
He pushes the chair back, trying to get to his feet, but to your surprise, he stumbles and sways. 
He seems just as surprised as you are at his newfound lack of coordination. 
"What the–" He looks down on his feet with concentrated effort. Then he takes another step. It's wobblier than the one before, his knee giving way, and his arm shoots out to grip at the edge of your table for balance.
Alarm bells start to go off in your head. You don't understand what's happening, but he's definitely right, something is wrong. A man that can gracefully scale down the Chrysler building from 72 floors down shouldn't be struggling this much just to take two steps back in your living room.
"Maybe you should sit back down," you suggest, looking up at him. There’s a slight sheen of perspiration that's settled on his forehead. The beginnings of a rosy flush tinting his cheeks. "Do you have any food allergies?"
"No. I don't. No. Super metabolism kind of cuts down on that sort of–” he’s stumbling over his words, each syllable slurred on his tongue, as he shakes his head at you. “No, no allergies. No food sensitivities of any kind except...."
He glares around wildly and his eyes land on the remaining slice of cake perched on your kitchen counter. 
"Did you put fucking coffee in that cake?!?!"
“"Yes?” You whip around, and look at the cake on your counter, not understanding the relevance of his question. “I mean... It's a coffee cake? I told you that!" 
You push aside your growing panic as you try to remember if the EpiPen stored away in your kitchen cupboard is past its expiration.
"You didn't tell me there was coffee in it!"
Is he serious?
"I said ‘coffee cake’! What else would be in there? It's in the name," you snap. 
And god, you can't believe this is what you're arguing with him about at this moment.
"Okay, yeah," he concedes testily, "but coffee cake is its own thing too! Isn’t coffee cake just… cake... that you, like... serve with coffee? It doesn't have coffee in it! Why the fuck does it have coffee in it?"
Does the man even hear himself? You're trying to figure out if you need to call an ambulance, and he is arguing with you on the technicalities of what constitutes coffee cake.
"Okay, wait, but are you dying?" you ask, trying to stay calm despite the pandemonium of panic ringing in your head. 
"No! I'm just intoxitac– intocita– intoshica– I'm just fucking drunk okay!?" he spits out.
Your brain stalls at his statement. Intoxicated!? When did he have time to drink? He seemed fine just a few minutes ago, but now he's slurring and about to topple over.
"You're drunk? How–"
"Spiders get drunk on coffee," he interrupts, and the flush on his cheek deepens to a deep alarming red. If you didn't know better, you'd almost think he was blushing.
"Okay, let's sit you down." You rush over, rounding your dining table as you reach for him.
At the sight of your extended hands, his eyes widen in alarm, He steps back from you, eyeing you like you're something dangerous.
"No. No, I'm–" he takes another step backwards, flinging himself away from your touch, but loses his footing in the process. He tilts over, hand grappling for the edge of the table as he goes, but instead of the edge he manages to take the cake plate with him on the way down.
There's a clank of shattered porcelain, followed by the loud thud of his body hitting the ground.
With the large size of him in your tiny studio apartment and the breaking of porcelain left and right, this feels like the idiom of a bull running wild in a China shop, come to life.
You reach out your hand to help him get up, but he doesn't acknowledge it, anchoring his elbow to the floor for leverage, only to wobble and fall flat against his back again with an angry curse.
Why is he so goddamned stubborn? 
You glance down at him, this gigantic man that is lying sprawled out on the floor with the gravitas of a turtle trapped on its back. He's so huge that he's eating up half of the floor space of your entire home. If he doesn’t get up, you won't be able to take two steps without accidentally stepping on him.
Shaking your head in disbelief at the ridiculousness of the situation, you hunch down on your knees beside him.
There's hesitation etched in those otherworldly crimson eyes as you come near. But as much as he's scowling at you, baring his fangs and trying to look scary, there isn't much he can do from the floor.
"Let me help you," you insist, "let's get you in bed until it wears off. I can't have you passed out on my floor like this."
He takes your outstretched hand, and you pull backwards, trying to bring him up with you. Between the two of you, you manage to get him on his feet again. Barely. 
Whoa.
You crane your head up, up, up til you meet his eyes. Yup, the man is still huge. Must be damn near 7 feet tall and heavy, and you quickly realize there's not much you can do but try to steer so that he falls in the direction of your bed.
Somehow you manage to shepherd him in the right direction, until his knees hit the edges of your bed. He lands with a dramatic thud and you hear your bed frame groan in protest. 
“Do you need anything?” you ask, but he doesn’t answer you. His broad arm drapes over his eyes, blocking you out. 
You sigh, turning on your heels to clean up the mess of coffee cake and broken plates off your floor.
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You barely manage to finish sweeping up the floor before you hear soft snoring filling your home.
Knock-off Spiderman is sound asleep, his large shape curled up on your mattress, entirely still.
You settle yourself back at the dining table, eating the leftover coffee cake as you pull up a book on your phone and wait for him to wake.
This was not how you had imagined your first extended interaction would turn out.
Honestly, you can't make sense of any of your interactions with him. How he's constantly avoiding you, yet can't seem to stay away and routinely checks in on you.
How he acts overly familiar in one instance and excessively rude and put off by you the next.
Maybe you remind him of someone else... Maybe even an ex? It feels weird to speculate, but it would explain a lot of things. His belligerent attitude towards you. The way he looks at you with eyes full of resentment, even as he's saving you from certain death. That look in his eyes like he knows you, even though you've never met him.
It doesn't explain how he knows your name though.
From the bed, you can hear him stir, shifting against the mattress with a quiet groan muffled into your pillow. He's softly murmuring something that you can't quite make out, and then he turns in his sleep again, making a pained noise that makes worry squeeze tight in your chest.
Maybe letting him sleep it off wasn't the brightest idea you've had. You probably should've called for the ambulance as soon as he showed physical signs of distress.
You're not a biologist. You don't know how a hybrid spider-human’s physiology works.
What if he's not just drunk? Whoever heard of coffee making someone drunk! And how could it affect him so quickly? There was barely a minute between him stuffing his face and falling all over the place. Some quick, panicked googling confirms that coffee makes spiders a kind of drunk, but it doesn’t say if it’s outright toxic to them.
Oh fuck, what if he's dying!? Oh god, what if a superhero dies in your bed? How will you explain this to your landlord? Or the police! “I fed him coffee cake, and it killed him, officer.” Right, that’s going to go over like a lead balloon! It’ll probably look like you poisoned him. TMZ will be swarming the place. You'll be classified as a supervillain.
Setting down the book, you make your way over to sit on the edge of your bed. You lean over his sleeping form and peer down at him, checking for any signs of physical distress.
That red flush from earlier is still riding high on his cheeks, looking like the beginnings of a fever. You reach out your hand to rest it on his forehead to check his temperature.
Warm.
He stirs at the touch, turning his face and practically nuzzles into your palm. It’s almost endearing as he buries his sharp nose into your wrist.
You hold your breath, worried that exhaling would be loud enough to wake him as you gaze down on him. Up close like this, when he's not being rude, and stubborn and defensive, he's... quite attractive.
He has the kind of sculpted face that Hollywood dreams are made of, angular jaw and a prominent nose that makes him look regal. Not to mention those chiselled cheeks of his are a fucking marvel to look at. But more than that, curled up asleep in your bed, there’s a gentle softness to his features that hadn’t been noticeable when he was awake.  
Now that  he’s not frowning down at you and the line of his mouth isn’t pulled into an angry snarl, you can see that his lips are full and luscious, delicate even. His heavy brows look less intimidating now that his face has relaxed from its perpetual scowl. 
He looks... soft, somehow.
There's a spark of something heated in your veins that has you feeling flushed and warm. You have to turn your eyes, shaking your head and tutting at yourself, because you’re creeping on the drunk guy passed out on your bed, and it’s not a good look on you. 
The commotion makes him stir, his eyes blink softly open. He looks up at you, with half-lidded eyes, and it's different from how he's looked at you up until now. His gaze is still so…. soft.
"Nena," he says quietly.
Your cheeks warm at the warmth in his voice , and you gently pull your hand away from his forehead.
"Sorry, I was just checking if you were okay," you explain awkwardly as you start to back away from him, sliding your knee along the mattress to climb off the bed.
At your movement, he darts upright into a seated position and pulls you to him, clinging onto every inch of you as he buries his face to your side. 
“Don't go,” he murmurs into your neck. His voice is trembling, and you can feel the panic radiating from him as the grip he has on you tightens until it’s bruising.  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he says, keeps repeating it. You don’t know what he’s apologizing for but the guilt and sadness in his voice tugs at something deep inside your chest. 
Nena, he said, and you realize that even though you're the one he's holding in this moment, he's not talking to you. He thinks you're someone else.
"Please don't leave me again. I-I can't–" he chokes out the words into the hollow of your throat where he's pressed his face tight into your skin. You can't help but notice the damp wetness that gathers there. "I'm trying, but I can't– I don't know how to do this without you."
The words are raw in his throat, and despite your confusion, your chest squeezes tight with a sympathetic ache at the man's obvious heartbreak.
You don't know what's going on here or who he thinks you are. The only thing you know is that you want to make him feel better. To make his hurt a little less painful. To make the consuming guilt you can hear in his voice a little bit smaller. 
"It's okay," you say. 
What the it refers to, you have no idea. But the least you can do is to give the man who has saved your life over and over, a tiny crumb of comfort.
You return his embrace, circling an arm around his shoulder, matching the tightness with which he’s holding you. Your other hand slides into his hair and he shivers at the touch, face burying deeper into your neck.
"I'll protect you,” he murmurs into your skin, “I can do better this time. Keep you safe. I promise.”
"It's okay. It’s okay. I’m already safe," you reassure him, giving him the only truth you know for sure in this moment, "You saved me."
~ Next Issue
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Dedication & Credits: as always to my collaborator on this series, who helps me brainstorm, write, edit and beta-read and everything in between and over with this series. This exists because of her, and I am so grateful to her. The hours I spend shouting into her DMs and bother her on the daily since this series infected my mind. You guys don't know what I put poor @thirstworldproblemss through.
Also to @guruan who was kind enough to read through this and steer me in the right way with the spanish, but also for giving me porn that has kept my brain buzzing for days!!!
Please follow both of these insanely lovely, kind and talented people.
Author's note: the Spanish in this chapter has been left untranslated on purpose, so that it's left ambiguous whether reader speak/understand Spanish. The idea is that if you as a reader understand it, then so does the reader, and vice versa 🥰
I don’t have a tag list but please follow me on astroboots-writes and turn on notifications to be notified when I post something new!
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medusas-daughter · 5 months
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Okay we need to talk about May December
Joe's slow descent into depression and existential crisis and how he seemed to be frozen at 13,how his teenage son seemed to have more emotional maturity than him and how most of his life revolves around Grace's needs
Elizabeth slowly acting more and more like Grace from the mannerisms to the clothes to the voice and accent and even the lisp without making it seem like a caricature at all
The way Elizabeth seems like a voyeur in this story. How she acknowledges how fucked up the story is and the victimhood of Joe and yet still asks the producer to cast a "sexier" actor to play 13 year old Joe
Every time Grace mentions a "romantic" moment between her and Joe and then she deadass brings out a school assignment he did in 7th grade that was chilling I was just frozen looking at Joe's love letter to Grace is written in a gel pen in a child's handwriting
Every time Grace tells a "funny" story from her childhood and it's literally as traumatizing as it gets
Every time Grace interacts with her daughters and you literally see the cycle of trauma perpetuating
Every time Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore share a mirror I get literal goosebumps
When Joe says "this isn't a story it's my life" I immediately thought of My Dark Vanessa, when she tells her therapist "I need it to be a love story" and her therapist asks her "if it isn't a love story then what is it?" and she answers "it's my life"
Grace's gaslighting when Joe tries to bring up their first time
That butterfly leaving it cocoon right after the first time Joe confronts Grace about their first time
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nyxthejinx · 7 months
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧
Guess who's back- yeahh Wrio altered my brain chemistry and i gotta cope with everything that just happened in the archon quest (iykyk). I haven't written in ages, I'm a bit rusty :')
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𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Slow mornings are the sweetest.
𝐓𝐖: Fluff (incredible, I know) nudity and intimacy in general (nothing too explicit, more on the romantic side), allusions to the night before, reader loves wrio's butt and is shameless about it (don't we all), mention of scars (wrio's), I tried to proof read it multiple times but my brain is fighting against me, lemme know if I missed anything
𝐅𝐭.: Wriothesley - GN!Reader
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1056
𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨: Eclipse - Pink Floyd
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𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 that his body is covered with scars, nor does he try to hide them. But the bedside lamp and the afterglow shed a new light on him, one that only you have the privilege of enjoying.
He sits at the edge of the bed, hands by his sides, sinking comfortably in the mattress. The slightest twitch of his muscles can't go unnoticed, not when everything is so slow and still as if time had stopped.
But that's what happens in the Fortress, no? Unless you keep an eye on the watch, minutes and hours blend into a placid flow, until you end up thinking you have all the time in the word.
That's why you lay down the clocks in the room, when darkness begins its descent up in the overworld.
Because you get to see him like this. Sleep ridden, quiet, a bit grumpier than usual. Shamelessly naked from head to toe, with the sheets thrown over his lap for the sake of decorum, as if you didn’t see and feel each other all night along.
This morning too, he stills for minutes on end, staring ahead and gifting you the precious sight of his toned back, now painted with marks and scratches fresh from the night. He runs a hand on his nape, down his shoulder and you know he loves the stinging carvings you left behind with your nails.
But your favourite part rests further down.
“You have a nice butt.” You mumble with a lazy smile, as you let your eyes wander to his lower back. “I ought to tell you more."
Wriothesley looks over his shoulder just enough to glare at you, but you know that fiery glimmer stems from amusement; the way his eyes wrinkle at the sides nullifies the frown creasing his brows.
He's lovely, incredibly entertaining whenever he tries and fails to hide his eagerness for compliments.
The man huffs through his nose, shaking his head before standing up. He holds the fabric around his waist, now covering his rear out of spite, as he rummages through the small puddles of discarded clothes on the room's floor.
You, on the other hand, aren't as diligent as he is. There's no hurry, no impending chores more important than this moment as you make yourself comfortable on your side, in the softness of your pillow —that inevitably smells like him too.
Only a fool wouldn't enjoy how incredibly clumsy he appears right now, fighting with the sheets and getting more and more impatient with every passing second that he can't find his underwear.
It's like admiring the dark side of the moon, knowing that no one else gets the same privilege, the same trust.
Which... Might be revoked after this little stunt you pulled.
"Looking for these?"
Wrio's head snaps towards you and his frown deepens at the sight of his boxers hanging from your hooked fingers. You smirk, backing away as far as you can, until he's forced to stretch across the bed and over your body.
You can't help but giggle and snicker, too amused and definitely too confident in the power you hold over him. You both know his pinky finger would be enough to turn the tables, but he wordlessly enjoys this silly game between you two, just like he adores seeing your petty smirk.
Oh, and how he loves wiping it off your face. If he only had more time, in this dreaded Monday morning.
Without much effort, he eventually grabs the garment. "Pervert." He mutters, pinching the skin below your ribs.
You flinch, chuckling breathlessly. "Mean."
But not wrong. You can't stop your eyes from drifting down, where the sheets have slipped dangerously low after all the fighting.
Everything, from his scarred pecks and abs, to his V line looks so... imperfect, gruff, hostile. He's a man who's rough around the edges, like the claw marks that decorate his throat; hardened by life, on guard all the time.
Untrusting.
And yet, he shows his back to you without much thought.
Even now, with his pants back on, he plops into his previous position idly, placid in his every move.
There's no need to check for threats, because there's none.
And you realise once again —like you do every day— that you're not ready for the sun to come up and for the moon to switch sides.
For him to glance back.
There's things that need to be done, affairs that only the Duke can handle, no matter how greedy and jealous of his presence you are. Your hands itch to wrap around his wrist, to pull him back by your side for another hour or two.
Wriothesley, on the other hand, spins along without thinking twice, as he adjusts his boots back on. Hadn't you known him long enough, you'd dare to say he doesn't yearn for you as much as you yearn for him, but it's the little things that speak in his stead.
It's the lazily unbuckled belt, the messy hair, wobbling around with his every little movement. "I'll do it later, for it means that we'll spend more time together" they say.
It's the blemished, vulnerable back, offered so humbly.
And suddenly you can't resist the urge anymore.
You navigate your way through the sea of sheets to wrap your arms around his waist, and your bare front against his back stops his motions altogether. Blurred memories from the early night flare up one more time, as your lips burn invisible seals on the skin of his shoulder. Every mellow kiss is so fond, intimate. Just for the two of you to feel.
Never have you felt a stronger sense of belonging. Not when he relaxes so easily in your presence and the world ceases to spin.
When turning his back to you feels so natural.
"Be careful, mh?" You kiss the crook of his neck again, while your hands trace the rough skin around his navel. "I want your pretty butt to be safe and sound."
Wrio's deep chuckle shakes his shoulders and chest, and you feel it deep deep deep in your own heart.
"Your wish, my command." He hums, his coarse fingers guiding one of your wrists to his lips.
The moon, you decide, is prettier when it's dark.
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chuuyrr · 4 days
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𓂃 ࣪˖ ִ 𓆩 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐈 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄 ‧₊ 𓆪 fallen angel! dazai osamu , f! angel! reader . . .
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dazai osamu descends from heaven's heights, burdened by his own demons and desires. amidst his descent, he encounters you, a beacon of purity. regardless of his dark past and the weight of his transgressions, he finds himself inexplicably drawn to your innocence and light, and so the fallen grapples with the ultimate sacrifice, to fall from grace for the chance at true love.
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𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒 ⊹ 𓂃 ₊ on-going, slow updates . . .
𝐂𝐖(𝐬) ⊹ 𓂃 ₊ angels! au, religious themes: inspired by éloa (1824), a poem about a f! angel falling for a "stranger", which is also inspired by the hades and persephone myth, mostly sfw, only one chapter will contain nsfw and it can be skipped
𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 ⊹ 𓂃 ₊ i can fix him (no really i can), but daddy i love him, guilty as sin?, false god by taylor swift
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‧₊ ࿐ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 .ᐟ
𝐢. 𝐀 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋, 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐖𝐍 𝐓�� 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄
sfw. in which he sought to reclaim his lost light, and like a moth to a flame, he found it in you, an angel of light
𝐢𝐢. 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐘 𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐈𝐍, 𝐘𝐄𝐓 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄
nsfw. amidst tangled bedsheets, you yearn for his love and grace, echoing their own longing for acceptance.
this chapter can be skipped .ᐟ
𝐢𝐢𝐢. 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑, 𝐈'𝐃 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄
sfw. despite all, he chooses you, and you choose him too, even it means to fall again just to take you with him
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𝐀.𝐍. ⊹ 𓂃 ₊ this is my official submission for @kentopedia's "love through the ages" collab event. it was supposed to be a oneshot fic only for fallen angel! dazai osamu, but i just recently decided to turn it into series fic .ᐟ
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275 notes · View notes
unmotivatedwrit3r · 7 months
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why do we go back?
damian wayne x reader
warnings: anxiety, kind of a panic attack?, implied past trauma/abuse
wc: 800
~~
“I went back.”
“Why? They—”
“I don’t know. I don’t know why. I—” 
“Damian, honey, breathe.” 
-
Damian’s brothers don’t text you that often. You don’t have their numbers saved in your phone. Or you didn’t. You have Tim’s now. 
come to the manor now. non-medical emergency 
oh and this is tim by the way 
You don’t even see the text until you’re done with your meeting, phone on do not disturb and notes document in fullscreen mode. It was sent at 1:30 in the afternoon. Bad things aren’t supposed to happen at 1:30 in the afternoon. 
I’m on my way, you text back at 3:00. Is he okay? The response comes as you’re setting up your gps. no. then, i mean he’s fine but no. You pull out of your parking spot a little faster than you should have. 
Once you get on the highway, you turn off the GPS. The number 21 exit towards Bristol and Wayne manor is nearly as familiar as your own. You’re thankful for the dozens of trips you’ve made because Tim calls you five minutes in. 
“What happened?” You can feel your heart pounding in your chest. The anxiety that had taken root when you saw the first text is morphing quickly into fear. 
“He disappeared.” 
“What?” 
“He’s not on manor grounds anymore. But he’s not in his suit.” 
On top of the phone call screen, a push notification lets you know that Damian's code was used to disarm your alarm system. You let out a short breath and switch lanes. Your exit is the next one. 
“I know where he is,” you tell Tim as you shift over into the right lane. It’s a little backed up, the way it always is this time of day, “I got him.”
“You sure?” 
“Yeah, thanks.” 
You take exit 24 towards the lower east side, then switch to an even more local highway and take exit 8 towards the residential district. When you pull into your parking spot in the cul-de-sac, your house looks empty. When you walk inside, Damian’s combat boots are sitting by the door, not unlaced all the way. One of them is sitting on its side. The other is askew. You let your bag slide off your shoulder to hit the ground next to your own shoes and venture further in. 
Damian’s sitting on the steps in dark casual clothes and white socks with a paint blob pattern. His knees are bent, legs pressed against his chest. Your steps aren’t steep and Damian is very tall. Hands clenched into fists rest on top of his knees. His neck is bent too, forehead pressed against his fists. 
You slide back on the wooden steps when you sit down. Damian doesn’t so much as twitch. You wait for him to come to you. He does. 
“I went back.” His voice is rough but not thick with tears. 
“Why?” You ask. The League leaves him with deep hurts every time he goes back to Nanda Parbat. And not the physical kind. “They—”
“I don’t know!” He exclaims like the words burst out of his chest. The energy propels him up, fingers digging into the arms of his sweatshirt as he rocks on his heels. “I don’t know why. I—” 
“Damian, honey,” You stand to meet him. The emotions in his green eyes are wild, untethered. “Breathe.” He shakes his head at you, fingers curling harder into his sleeves. “You can.” Damian scans your body language and you let him, relaxing the tension in your shoulders and leaving your hands open, arms angled to hold him if he wants it. 
“I’m here,” you say to the hesitation in his eyes. “You’re safe.”
You let out a grunt of air as Damian slams into you. His arms wrap around you tight enough that you think he’s afraid you’ll turn into smoke if he lets go. You raise your arms more slowly, one coming up to rub at his back and the other to cup the back of his neck.His knees buckle. You slow your descent to the ground only barely, saving your knees from catching the brunt of your weight. Your butt stings instead from how hard it hit the floor but it’s worth it when Damian buries his face into the junction between your neck and your collarbone and breathes. They’re choppy loud breaths that come with shoulders shuddering under the hand you have rubbing up and down his back, but no tears hit your neck. 
“I’ve got you,” you whisper to him, cheek pressed against the top of his head. “You’re safe here.” Damian’s arms only tighten further. In response, you hold him tighter too. 
Why do we go back, you wonder, when we know the only thing to come of it is more pain? 
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hannie-dul-set · 8 days
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AN UNLIKELY FANMEETING.
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p — LEE JENO x female! reader. g — gang leader! jeno, actress! reader, humor, tension tension tension, jeno gets kidnapped by his celebrity crush, this is stupid, this is dumb, don't take this seriously. w — swearing, kidnapping, morally dubious characters HAHHAHA. 935 words.
note — happy birthday jeno. to the anon that sent the trope list curated for me, this is your fault. take responsibility. the prompt "accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss" suddenly terrorized my brain while i was studying. enjoy.
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when lee jeno opens his eyes, a dull ringing in his ears, he sees nothing but the faint impression of a lightbulb burning through the sack covering his head. it’s dark. there’s an echo when he grunts and tries to move, but upon feeling the rope pressed against his wrists, the stiffness of his shoulders and the metal scratching of the chair against the rough ground— he’s quick to understand the situation he’s in.
the last thing he remembers, he was about to board a plane to japan. to spend a few months lying low after the particularly risky job his gang had to undertake not too long ago.
seems like someone managed to sniff him out before he could flee.
splash!
“wake up, you slimy son of a bitch.”
cold water hits, seeping into the fabric covering his face and crawling down to his collarbones. now, considering his line of work, jeno isn’t too fazed by this situation. he has a lot of enemies. maybe this one’s from a rival gang. could be a relative seeking revenge for a brother’s cracked skull, or some shit. doesn’t matter. he’s not gonna stay sitting for long anyway.
“did you really think you could cheat on me and run away scot free?”  
cheat? the sack gets thrown off from his head, a hand yanking a handful of his hair to pull his head back and he lets out a grunt. the chair is tipped back. jesus fucking christ, that felt personal. but when the sudden illumination stops blinding him, and he can finally see who the hell had the guts to jump and kidnap him, he’s a little taken aback.
jeno has a lot of enemies. the list goes on and on.
“use your fucking mouth, bast—”
but he’s pretty sure that the darling angel of south korea’s film industry isn’t on that list.
jeno watches as the vivid scorn and disgust in your eyes slowly meld into confusion, then realization, then a slow but sure descent into panic alongside the loosening of your grip.
“oh.”
must be the skills of an award winning actress. he feels almost a hint of disappointment when you stop pulling on the roots of his damp hair.
“oh, shit. one moment.”
clang! the chair he’s tied to settles once more into the ground with a clatter, and jeno watches as you quickly secure a distance between you and him, pulling your phone out of your sweats while biting the tips of your thumbnail. it’s a little funny seeing the nation’s sweetheart pacing back and forth all jittery in what looks like a basement— maybe your basement. as far as jeno can remember, you’re always casted for romance films. those feel-good, slice of lives and the pocari sweat commercial you once did echoes in the back of his head. but maybe you have a hidden knack for some thriller.
he starts fiddling with the ropes tied around his wrists right at the moment you screech into your phone. dispatch would have a field day if they see this.
“you got the wrong guy! my ex isn’t this hot!”
his fingers slip. his skin scratches the rough threads of the rope.
“i paid you useless fucks a shit ton of money to get the job done, but you can’t even get— ugh! nevermind. just go and bring me the actual son of a bitch i asked for this time.”
the knot is almost loose. this is quite the show. it’s better than all the movies he’s seen of you.
“what?! hello?! what do you mean you can’t help me anymore, what about our—”
drop. jeno gets up from the chair. he stretches his joints, neck cracking, watching as you sputter out a trove of profanities at your phone. his clothes are still damp from the water you splashed him earlier. maybe he should have a bit of fun first before leaving. it’s not everyday that you get to meet your celebrity crush.
“hey, dollface,” he calls out. you freeze. you look at him with the drop of a needle, eyes growing a little bit wider when you realize he should be sitting down. damn, they really need to cast you in a grittier film. “you should pay a bit more attention when you have someone hostage.”
a beat of silence. 
“uhm,” your voice croaks. jeno takes a step towards you. you take a step back. “listen, haha, there has been a misunderstanding.”
your steps stutter a little, moving back and back and you swallow nervously, looking at him with almost sheepishly— a sense of feigned bravery in the midst of retreat, teeth tugging on the skin of your lips. “oh, yeah?” he says, and you visibly rattle. you’re prettier like this than when you’re batting your eyes and flirting at the camera. you’re definitely prettier.
“yes, ahaha, there was a minor switch-up, you see i— i didn’t mean to...uh, escort you from the airport, i actually meant to target someone else, and— o–oh, and there’s a wall behind me. oops, haha. do you mind backing away a bit, um—”
“how about i help you with the ex boyfriend problem you have?”
the tables turn. it’s him digging his face up against yours this time, but the mention of your ex strikes a chord. you’re looking at him, gaze unbreaking. he can feel your shallow breaths on his skin.
“who are you exactly?”
“someone who can do the job better that the fuckers you sent me, definitely,” he chuckles. “how about it?”
he won’t ask for much. maybe just an autograph in return.
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AN UNLIKELY FANMEETING. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.
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298 notes · View notes
mediumgayitalian · 18 days
Text
Nico has been watching him intensely for the last twenty minutes.
Will has been letting him.
Nico watches him a lot, actually. While he heals, if he’s tagged along to the infirmary; while he plays volleyball or basketball with his siblings. When they’re sat in Nico’s cabin, curled next to each other on his bed, Will reading, Nico, supposedly, playing on his DS. While Will trains, especially, although it doesn’t take long watching that clusterfuck for him to get up and come help out.
(“You are not this bad at swordfighting, William.”
“No clue what you’re talking about, darlin’. It’s just not my strength!”
“You are holding the sword backwards, William.”
“Oh, am I?”
“I am going to kill you, William.”)
Will doesn’t mind. He watches him, too. It’s hard not to.
“I thought you said you don’t have any musical talents.”
Will shrugs, whistling the last notes of the melody. A quick one that Michael taught him, years ago — something to ease nerves, to calm the mind. “It’s just an extension of my sonic powers, really.”
Nico stares like he knows the exact day you’re gonna die. Will knows a lot of people find this unsettling. He doesn’t get it. He relishes the attention, if anything; the scrutiny. One hundred percent of Nico’s intensity on him is — intoxicating.
“Sounds pretty musical to me.”
Will grins at him, cheeks aching, stomach flipping. Nico’s expression doesn’t change; eyebrows narrowed, mouth twisted into a thoughtful scowl. Evaluating every shift in Will’s expression. He squints one eye, when he’s focused. Will aches to brush his thumb under it.
“Do you know how to whistle, Nico?”
Nico’s dark eyes flip up to meet his. Will’s breath hitches — there are a thousand layers of Earth in those eyes. Like the crackling fractals of Pangea; eyes browner than earth, darker than black dirt. Deeper than the burnt sepia of the planet’s mantle. Two round abysses that Will has been falling down for half his life; air billowing around him, slowing his descent.
Gods, Nico is gorgeous.
“I — think so.”
His endless eyes squint, slightly-freckled nose wrinkling as he focuses on the purse of his lips. He glances down at them like that’ll somehow help, going goofy and cross-eyed. Will’s soul melts like a grape popsicle on a scorching summer day. His impulse melts away with it. He darts in close and pecks Nico’s pursed lips, pulling away just as fast. Those crossed-eyes blow open wide, pupils shrinking, and the air comes out of his lungs in a quiet, punched-out whoosh. Nowhere sharp enough for a whistle.
“…Wow.”
Will smiles sheepishly, rocking back on his heels.
“Um. Sorry?”
Nico’s thin fingers come up and brush the swell of his lips.
“Solace, you are the corniest motherfucker on the planet, you know that?”
Ducking his head to hide his laughter, Will nods.
“I know.”
“‘Can you whistle’, he says.” Nico scoffs. “Get over here.”
“Why?” Will asks cheekily. “Gonna ask me to show you?”
“Shut up.”
Nico grabs the back of his neck and yanks him down. Will can feel the press of his teeth, this time, the warmth of his skin now that he’s not pulling quickly away. He tastes good, too, like the citrusy chapstick he’s always got on.
He kisses as intensely as he stares.
Will finds he doesn’t mind that, either.
———
based off this tweet
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jarofstyles · 8 months
Note
Harry jerking off after the show thinking ab a hot fan he kept staring at in the crowd blurb
Now... I am thinking and got carried away and this is our filthhhhh I'm sorry y'all
Patreon
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He hadn't had an experience like this in a long time.
As a general rule, Harry didn't hook up with fans. He respected them and the imbalance of power could be tricky, but there had been one girl in particular that had been teasing him the entire night, and he had gotten far too worked up about it.
She wasn't at the barricade, no. She was in the back of the floor, dancing occasionally with her group of friends but mostly by herself. Getting lost in the music as she swayed, arms up and occasionally caressing her body- Especially during the song 'She'. That had been a boiling point, his eyes glued to her as her head tipped back, hair flowing off her shoulders. She'd worn a leather corset looking thing with a matching skirt that left little to the imagination. He could see every curve and a sliver of skin at her stomach, the skirt ending mid thigh and giving him a look at the prettiest thighs he had ever seen.
The top had accentuated her cleavage quite a bit, the shimmer of what was probably body glimmer making it glisten from the lights that changed during the show. It had been almost impossible to look away from her glossed lips painted a deep red mouthing the words. She almost looked to be in ecstasy, like his song and his voice were bringing her to a new place.
He wished he could. His imagination took over as he decompressed backstage, placing the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on his door before stripping off his shirt and sitting on the velvet couch in his briefs.
It was embarrassing how hard he was when he peeled them back, sticky precut leaving a stain on the white fabric. The head was a dark pink, the vein running up the side throbbing as he wrapped his hand around the base, squeezing it to give some relief.
A hiss left his teeth as he placed his palm under his chin, spitting thickly on to the skin and wrapping it back around, smearing the slickness over his length. Eyes closed, he began tithing about the fantasy of bringing that girl backstage.
She would get on her knees, the leather skirt rolling up a bit as she did so. Wide eyes with those long lashes would look up at him, sticking her tongue out for him to slap the tip of his dick on. It would be hot and wet, the slick tongue a welcome relief. When he gave her permission, he would watch as the pink tongue would slide up from base to tip before sliding over the leaky slit. He could imagine her moan at the taste before taking him in between her lips.
His strokes were slow at first, imagining a languid descent down the length of him. Taking him inch by inch, stretching her red stained lip around him until he got a bit too deep, making her gag. He'd pump off, already seeing the red streak of lipstick she'd leave around his prick.
"Fuck." He grunted, leaning his head back as he ran the thumb back over his tip, imagining her trying to make it up to him for taking so little. He'd be a bit big for her mouth, but the pretty girl would only get better.
She would start stroking him where her mouth couldn't reach, taking him back into her mouth and sucking him in, pulling up with a pop before going back down. His hand would tangle in her hair, helping her move a bit on his cock.
The fantasy woman would start to pleasure him, taking him down until she gagged and drooled on his cock, only pulling off to take a breath or moving down to suck on his balls. Take them into her hot, drooling mouth and pull lightly with her mouth, making her groan loudly.
Harry would pull her up and lay her back on the couch, ideally and riskily, taking her bare. Sliding inside of her cunt, he would take her nice and deep, make her moan for him. He spit on his cock this time, the warmth making him imagine it being her tight cunt wrapped around him.
He would take her deep, wrapping a hand around her throat and kiss that sultry little mouth. Make her moan his name, get the same dreamy look on her face as he buries his cock to the hilt, her soft pussy quivering around him as he fucked into her. Those long nails would drag down his back, leaving a souvenir of their tryst on his dressing room couch.
His eyes would watch her breasts bounce as he picked up the pace, watching her move before shifting them and leaning back against the couch so she could ride him. God, she would be so good, so fucking eager and filthy. Dripping down his cock, her walls hugging him in as he got deeper than anyone else had been- she would tell him that. She would grip his shoulders, let him pull her top down and suck one of her nipples into his mouth while she whimpered and whined for him.
He built up the pace, grunting as he fucked his fist. His cock was slick and hard, pulsing in his hand as his end was approaching. Imagining the mystery girl bouncing up and down on his cock and mewling like a bitch in heat, he'd let her do the work until her thighs tired and then take over. Pin her hands behind her back and shift down, keep her still as he pistoned his cock into her weepy pussy.
"Fuck, take it. Take my fucking cock." He hissed to himself, eyes closed as he squeezed his cock tighter as he imagined her cumming around him. Walls rippling and a gush of cream coating his cock and soaking the trimmed hair at his base, sobs of his name as she writhed on top of him with no choice but to take it.
She'd come backstage so easily, gotten on her knees for him and begged him for his load. Over and over, he imagined her breathy voice begging 'Please, please give me your cum. Give it all to me, I need it inside me. Fill me up and let me walk out with it.'.
And he was a goner. Mouth falling open, he came with his eyes squeezed shut, his load of hot, thick cum spurting into her waiting tummy instead of on his bare stomach. A growl left his mouth as he panted, milking himself for every drop just like he knew she would do to him.
He'd never meet this girl, but she'd live in daydreams with him.
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luveline · 1 year
Text
𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐨𝐧
You want to see the floating lights. Steve wants his satchel back. You come to an arrangement that is mutually beneficial… sorta. tangled!au
10k words, reader insert, fem!reader, medieval times (ish!), begrudging allies, fake dating/marriage, lots of changes from tangled movie but it’s got the spirit, I tried to be inclusive of all hair types but it is magical and floor length nonetheless, magical realism, TW for abusive mother + narcissism, mother is awful, steve is gonna show her the world is a good place!! allies to friends to lovers, pining
˗ˋˏ ☆ ˎˊ˗
Steve's hands are bleeding by the time he works his way into the tower, raw from the rough grit of old hewn stone. He hisses with every handhold he finds, adrenaline staving off the worst of the pain as his eyes scrabble for the next ledge. 
Five feet, three. His hand slaps into the dark wood of a window ledge and he heaves himself up, the joints of his arms screaming in protest. Were it not for the rumbling of horse hooves like an earthquake outside of the grotto he might've given up, hoped for a soft landing. 
The threat of being caught propels him forward. 
He lands on the tiled flooring of the main atrium of the tower with an audible plop of fabric, his satchel clunking hard by his hip. 
"Stars," he says. He breathes hard, trying and failing to slow his heart now he's found sanctuary. 
He lifts his cheek from the mosaic beneath and peers around the room. He gawps. 
It's mostly dark, and still he can make out the intricate, masterful artwork decorating the curved wall. Flowers made up of a thousand colours, petals dripping with dew, their anthers heavy with pollen. A field of every flower he's ever seen and a hundred others he's not familiar with. He has really, truly, never seen anything like it. Not even the spectacle of the Palace could hold a candle to what he sees before him. No books he'd read growing up had ever conjured an image as sharply magical as this.
He pushes up onto his elbows. Sunlight drips into the room from the wooden shutters he’d crawled through, illuminating the feet of each cabinet, a washing basin, and the brick oven under a staircase that ascends into the tower. He sniffs and finds the stick of coal dust heavy in the air; somebody lives here. 
Steve's quickly proven right when you swing from behind an alcove near the kitchenette. 
He startles backward and away from you as you advance, a cast iron pan held aloft in delicate hands and wielded with an intimidating confidence. 
"Holy- Wait! Wait, please," he cries, holding his hands palm out in surrender. 
Steve doesn't suppose you'd been expecting such a feeble intruder. He'd feel a strike against his dignity if it hadn't worked — you slow in the centre of the room, your breath coming in quick pants as the iron pan in your grip shakes. 
You're scared.
You're beautiful. 
"What do you want?" you ask, a pleading sort of twist to your question. "I don't have anything. I don't have anything worth taking." 
"Please," he says loudly. "I don't want anything. Sanctuary for the night, nothing else." 
Your chest rises. Steve feels smarmy, but he finds his eyes drawn to the valley of your chest, the bodice of your dress. A soft and buttery orange sewn with the palest pink and lilac embroidery. It's a gorgeous piece of craftsmanship, lovely enough that he wonders briefly if you're of royal descent, but the dress itself is a peasant's gown. 
His eyes rise back to your unhappy face. Your brows are pulled up at the starts, a delicate display that betrays your fear. 
You glare at him. 
"You can't stay here," you assert.
"One night." Steve pulls his satchel into his lap to procure a small coin purse. He'd love to say it was his coin purse. He cannot. "I have silvers. I can pay you." 
He will not be paying you anything. He won't rob you, though. He's not a total miscreant. 
"You can't stay," you say again, raising your iron pan higher above your shoulder. He sees a flash of something at your hip. "My mother–" 
"Holy stars, is that your hair?" 
You seize up, making an almost inaudible sound of dejection. "No." 
"Are you sure? It looks very much like hair."
Steve anchors his hand to the floor and leans downward to get a better look. You turn with him, attempting to shield your long hair from view and only helping him along. It sways with your movements, the ends near long enough to dance over the floor. 
"You have to leave. Leave!" 
Steve bites the inside of his lip. A rainbow of light arcs through the air and caresses your cheek, and the wind chime hanging in the window tinkles softly with a warm summer breeze. The tower echoes with your huffing breath. The pan is too heavy for you to hold any longer and you let it drop with a wrist-tugging defeat. 
"I'm not trying to scare you. But I really can't leave. I won't harm a hair on your head," he adds with a smile, eyebrows slightly raised in wait of your laughter. 
You don't laugh, nor do you smile. 
"My mother, she'll come home any minute now," you say unconvincingly. 
He tips his head to one side. "Then I'll speak with your mother and get her permission to stay." 
"She won't give it." 
You're really too handsome to be frowning as you are. Steve wants to do as he does with all pretty people and make you smile, but the task feels insurmountable. You want him to leave. He can't. 
"If I leave, I'll be killed," he says. While it's not a lie in its entirety, neither is it a truth.
Your grip tightens around the handle of your pan. "What?" you ask worriedly. 
He feels guilty for garnering your concern though it's exactly what he'd been aiming for, nodding his head gravely. 
"I'm being pursued by ruffians. For days now. I only need to hide here for the night while they clear the forest. They'll look for me elsewhere, after." 
His storytelling voice is clear. Admittedly much too dramatic and yet you eat it up like a child devours spun sugar. Your hands press to your chest, frying pan held in your palm like the pommel of a sword. 
"Ruffians?" you repeat.
He swoops in. "Not to worry. They didn't see me scale the tower, or even enter the valley." He gives you a commending smile. "You're very well hidden."
"Not well enough, clearly." 
"I got lucky."
You back away from him. You don't turn your back to him, smart girl, only widen the gap between your two bodies with a fluttering unease. 
"I wish I could help you," you whisper urgently, "I wish I could. But my mother, if she finds you here, I- I'm not sure what she'll do." 
Steve blinks dazedly. "She would kill me?" 
"No! Of course not." 
"Then whatever it is will be a kinder fate." 
That shatters the very last of your resolve. You visually err on what to do next, how to handle his being here. Steve’s head races with thoughts of the palace guards, of Thomas and Carol, and of you — your skin lit by the sun, and your long, long hair. 
"Do you want some water?" you ask quietly. 
The relief he conjures is as authentic as it comes. "Yes. More than anything." 
Your mysterious stranger sits at one end of the table in Mother's seat while you sit across from him, a small clay drinking cup encapsulated by his large hand. You're making no effort to hide how closely you're watching him, though if he's under the impression it's for safety's sake then that's best. 
He's very, very fine. 
You haven't seen a man in person before, and if they all look like this you might wish you'd ventured out of the tower sooner. He wears a worn brown tunic that shows evidence of numerous careful darnings, its top button popped open to reveal a tiniest hint of curled hair disappearing downward. 
The hair on his head and tucked behind his ears is comely as corn silk but much darker. It shines in the descending sunlight now flooding the room. There's a golden tinge to everything at this time that leaves no inch of his person unscathed; his eyes glow with it, his irises a melting brown that reminds you of rare, thick honey. 
"The flowers," he says after an aching pause. "Are they painted? They must have been a huge expense." 
You follow his gaze, surprised at his question in two ways. That he would ask, and that he would think somebody else did them. 
"They're how I spend my summers." 
"Looking at them?" 
You laugh from the pure joy of the complement he's implying, unused to his awed reaction. Mother usually nods or hums at a new unveiling, and one time you'd earned a, "That's wonderful, darling." 
You're not sure she'd actually been looking at the time. 
"I painted them myself." 
The stranger's jaw drops. "A little thing like you?" he asks. 
"I'm hardly little," you deny, neither of stature nor burden. 
"You're young, aren't you? You can't be more than twenty summers."
"What a funny way of speaking," you murmur, more to yourself than him. "I'm twenty. I'll be one and twenty, in a few days." 
His eyes narrow. "Well, what's wrong with you?" 
"What's wrong with me?" 
"You aren't married?" 
You try not to be offended and fail spectacularly. "Most don't get married until they're nearing five and twenty!" 
"Most," he agrees. "But a girl as pretty as you? Who can paint like this? Don't tell me you've been hiding from every man in the kingdom."
You turn your face from him in case he can tell how flustered you are. Two complements in one day is unprecedented. Your heart bump-bump-bumps. 
"Are you married?" you ask swiftly, hoping to redirect this line of conversation away from something as treacherous as your own isolation. Any answer would expose you.
"I am, actually. She has the most gorgeous shine to her face, and her laugh is melodic and sweet as anything, a tinkling sound. She's bronze-skinned, a slight thing, but she's worth her weight in gold." 
He grins. You can't help but smile in response, infected by his endearing affection.
"What's her name?" you ask, voice near a coo. 
"Argento." 
You stare at him. His smile gets so big it looks like it could bruise his cheeks. 
"You're talking about money." 
"She's a brilliant bedfellow, isn't she? She keeps me warm and fed every night. She's a good girl." He sighs and crosses his arms behind his head. His attempt at nonchalance is ruined when he cringes in pain and drops them gracelessly back into his lap.
You cover your mouth and laugh. He's funny. Mother doesn't make half as many jokes. 
Mother. As if the mere thought of her is enough to summon her presence, a shrill call echoes from the bottom of the tower. 
"Y/N, darling, throw down the rope for your mother!" 
You jump to your feet, slippers sliding against the mosaic floor in a hurried scratch. "You have to hide," you whisper harshly.
The stranger pouts at you. "Seriously, let me talk to her, I–" 
You shake your head voraciously at his loud volume and press your finger to your lips, eyes begging with him to be quiet. 
"Please," you whisper, "hide. I'll hide you 'til tomorrow, when she leaves in the morning." 
He doesn't move. 
"Y/N? I don't have all day!" The irritation in her voice is obvious. 
"Please," you whisper again. 
He gets up with a mild eye roll. You rush to the window and look down at your mother where she stands at the bottom, looking impossibly small. 
"There you are! What are you waiting for? I'm not very happy with you, darling." 
You lick your lips. "Sorry!" you call, turning to the rope spooled to the right of the window. You throw the rope over the hook at the top of the frame, pausing when you see the stranger lingering in your peripheral vision at the top of the stairs. 
"What are you doing? Go!" you whisper. 
He nods toward your hands. "Couldn't have thrown that down to me, could you?" 
You shoo him away, his easy laughter doing nothing to assuage your racing heart as you drop the length of looped rope down to your mother. You wait until she's secured her foot in the loop before you start to walk backwards, lifting her weight. 
It doesn't get any less laborious as you grow up. By the time she's reached the top of the tower you can hardly breathe. You cough so hard you feel nauseous. 
"Holy stars, you sound ghastly. And it's completely unbecoming to cough like that without covering your mouth. You know that." 
"Sorry, mother." 
She hums. You can't decipher what it means, but it likely isn't something forgiving. 
"I hope you had some time to think about our argument." 
You hold your clasped hands behind your back, hair tickling your knuckles. "I did… I'm sorry, mother." 
She stares at you for a moment from under dark eyebrows before her face lifts, the wrinkles in her soft forehead appearing more prominently as she says, "Darling, why do you do this? Why do you insist on making me angry?" She raises her hands to your neck, long fingernails weaving seamlessly into the mass of hair she finds there. "You know I'm only trying to protect you." 
"I know," you say, tears burning hot behind your eyes. You will them away. Crying will make it worse, it always does. 
She toys with your hair, eyes on your shoulder. You have the peculiar feeling that though she's looking at you she isn't truly looking at you, but through you. Her eyes are distant, unfocused. 
Her finger wraps into your hair, twisting a strand behind your ear over, and over, and over. You shift uncomfortably at the tugging feeling at the back of your scalp but don't protest to her touches — any touch at all feels like a gift. Mother isn't generous with her affections. 
"Maybe I've been too hard on you," she murmurs. 
You loose a pained breath as she takes her hand from your hair and brings it to your face instead. She draws a line from the corner of your eye outwards, a kind, soft petting that gives you goosebumps. 
"No, mother. I'm grateful for everything I have. I was being unreasonable, I don't need anything else. I… shouldn't have asked about the stars." 
"No, you shouldn't have." 
She moves from you to hang her robe up on the hanger. You tamp down your frowning because mother hates when you make her feel guilty and try to decide how it is you're going to escape to your bedroom for the night. You have lots of questions you want to ask the stranger. 
You spot something out of the corner of your eye as your mother flits to the kitchen. There, on the table, sits two clay cups half empty and at opposite ends. You side eye your mother and find she's distracted herself with putting a wooden log into the oven's belly, grumbling about how you've neglected your afternoon chores. 
You throw yourself in front of the table with a thud. 
"What are you doing?" Mother asks, disgruntled. 
"Nothing! I mean, I'm cleaning up. I forgot to empty these cups of paint after I finished." 
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" 
The thing about mother is that most of the things she says are neutral. Anybody else might think she was being light-hearted or blasé. She phrases everything so meticulously. 
But she is not kind. 
You laugh breathily and turn to the cups. Your heart leaps into your throat when you find the cup isn't the worst of what might give you away. Hooked over the back of the chair is the stranger's leather satchel, a ratty old thing sagging with the weight of its contents. 
You take it. The zipper snags and the cause of the weight reveals itself in a clinking upheaval, a flash of light across the floor. You throw yourself over the chair to grab for it, a mindless scrambling, silver and gems cool and sharp under your hand. You shove it back in the satchel, no clue what it is. You've never seen anything like it. 
"What are you doing?" Mother asks, her voice occluded by the soft bubbling of the cooking pot. 
"It's dusty down here!" you call. 
"Yes, well… it's to be expected when all you do is paint all day, darling." 
"You're right," you say quietly. "Of course you are, mother." 
-
Steve hadn't suspected your room would look as plain as it does. You've a simple bed with a modest quilt and one tired looking pillow, though it's been made with neat folded corners. A stuffed rabbit sits at the bottom, lavender velveteen with a pink button nose. He doesn't touch it, though he'd like to. He's not sure he's ever touched a stuffed animal before. 
He can hear you talking to your mother, or rather your mother talking at you. He must say, she doesn't sound like the easiest woman to get along with. But Steve's never had a mother, so maybe that's just what they're like. 
You have a small table to one corner covered in small trinkets. Shells, stones, papers loose and bound. He flips open the soft cover of a book and finds it filled with pencil sketches, corner to corner of every page. 
You've drawn the most mundane things in remarkable colour and detail. The cooking pot over the stove top, the washing basin, the wooden table. Your slippers, your hair brush. Ordinary things in extraordinary detail, and extraordinary colour. 
He pauses at a loose leaf of brown paper tucked toward the end of the book. It's a bird on the window ledge, a fruit dove. The face and beak are in great detail, white feathers made corporeal by the smudge of hard pastel. The wings are rough, white and pale pinks and greens unrendered. 
Footsteps sound up the stairs. 
Shit, Steve thinks. They're a hurried sound. He's been sussed. He turns on his heel to find a place to hide. 
"Shit," he says, climbing the circular platform that holds your bed and collapsing to the floor, wriggling on his back until he's hidden underneath the bed and sheets completely. 
He holds his breath as the door creaks open. 
"Um… mister… uh, stranger man?" 
He waves his hand from under the bed. 
"Oh, right. Move over," you say, and then you're getting under the bed to join him. 
Steve moves over and suddenly you're there beside him, the two of you pressed arm to arm under your bed. Your smell is impossible to ignore, the fruity fragrance of jasmine and milk-soap. He stares at your face as you settle, your eyelashes fluttering, your subtle smile. 
You turn your head to his. The two of you flinch in tandem, eyes flying away from each other to the underside of the bed. 
Oh, Steve thinks. Holy stars. 
You've painted lanterns on every slat. Purple paper lanterns that glow orange and yellow in their centres, tens of them in different sizes. It's as breathtaking as your field of flowers downstairs despite the major decrease in scale.
"Wow," he says, on impulse, "these are amazing." 
You inhale happily. "Thank you. The floating lights are my favourite thing. They always come out-" You cut yourself off with a cough. "Well. I love them." 
"'Floating lights,'" he quotes. You're strange. 
"I wanted to go see them, but…"
"But mother said no?" 
"No," you murmur weakly. He takes it for yes. "She doesn't believe they're not stars." 
He can hear each individual breath you take this close and suspects that you can hear his own. It's a funny thing to be this close to you when he doesn't know you beyond your painting and your too-long hair. He can see a lot more of your details, your tiny bumps and fine hairs.
"What's your name?" he asks quietly. 
"I'm Y/N." You lay your ear against the wooden floor to look at him. "What's your name?" 
"Steven. Steve will do just fine."
"Steve," you say, like you're testing it out. "Steve, you lied to me." 
His eyes widen. 
"Did I?" he asks, trying to disarm you with a smile and failing yet again. 
"You lied," you whisper. "What's in the satchel, Steve?" 
"It's not what you think." 
"I think it's exactly what I think." 
You're giving him a hard stare. He smiles and smiles and smiles, his facade cracking the longer you look at him. His breath all falls out in a rush, blowing the hair from his eyes as he sighs. "Alright, fine. I lied about the ruffians. In my defence, there isn't a big difference between those fools from the palace and true ruffians." 
You sit up and wack your head on the bed slats above. Steve reaches out to help though there's nothing to do. 
You push his hand away. "Palace guards?" you ask in an urgent whisper, hand held to the top of your head. 
"Obviously. They don't just let you walk out of there without a fight… Wait, why are you surprised?" He measures your sheepish face. "You conniving, deceitful gir!" 
"I might not know what it is, but I can tell it's not the kind of thing someone like you would have on his person," you say, grumbling at his insults. 
His injustice at having been tricked drops away. "You don't know what it is? You've never seen a tiara?”
Your embarrassment is adorable. You change the subject deftly. “You lied to me, let’s not forget. You’re in danger because of the consequences of your own actions. Can’t believe I fell for your sob story. I should tell my mother exactly what kind of man I have hiding under my bed.”
“Who you’re hiding under your bed with.”
You climb out from under the bed with an irritated harrumph. Steve untangles a length of your hair that’s gotten wrapped around one of the beds feet before you can yank your own head back and follows you out. 
“Don’t be mad,” he says.
“You’re a criminal,” you say angrily. 
“Nobody’s perfect.”
Your furious whispers pause when your mother starts to sing downstairs. Steve can see the debate on your face. Yes, he’s a liar, yes, he’s a criminal, and yes, you should churn him back out into the valley. Send his untrustworthy self on his sorry way and wipe your hands of him entirely. 
To do so would mean admitting to your mother that he’s here. 
“Just… don’t talk to me. And don’t steal anything.”
He grins. “As you wish, my lady.”
“Y/N?” a voice asks in the dark. 
It’s impossible to relax with him here. You’re worried he’s going to slit your throat while you sleep. You’re doubly worried he’ll see your unattractive resting face. Warped priorities aside, you can’t make yourself sleep. 
“Yeah?” you whisper. 
“The floating lights?”
Your eyes fly open. You get the disorienting feeling of blindness and blink in the dark until you can make out the faintest glow of moonlight under the door. “Yeah?”
“Those are called lanterns.”
You swallow a rough breath. “Lanterns.”
“Mm-hm. They’re made of paper. You light them and send them up with the breeze. The ones you’ve been seeing, they’re probably for the lost princess.”
“The lost princess?”
“Yeah. The entire kingdom floods into the town and each person lights a lantern for her. It’s more of a festival these days, but… They're supposed to help her find her way home. If she’s really lost, that is.”
You hum something, an attempt to reply, but you're too distracted to say anything else. Floating paper. A lost princess. You close your eyes and clouds of purple, pink and orange burn against your eyelids. 
— 
"You want me to what?" 
"I want you to take me to see the lanterns." 
Steve's back aches from sleeping flat on the floor all night long, and his shoulders scream every time he moves from climbing, and his hands are gross and sore with scabs, and he truthfully doesn't have the patience for this conversation. 
"No." 
"Fine. Don't take me, and I will keep the tiara as an innkeeper's fee." 
"There's usually breakfast at an inn," he says. 
You slap a steaming hot bowl of porridge in front of him. You've drizzled the surface with honey and placed red berries over the top to form a smiling face. The heat of the porridge has melted the berries into blobs that break from their skin when he pokes them with a spoon. 
"Oh," he says. Nice.
He looks up to find you dressed in a different gown than yesterday, this one made up of a green bodice with white sleeves and a white skirt. The bottom hem is sewn with dainty yellow flowers, the bodice with vines in a darker shade of green. It's a very sweet dress on an otherwise sweet looking girl, if you ignore the formidable twist of your brow. 
Fine, he'll bite. Your frown is sweet too. 
"I'm not taking you anywhere," he says, about to scoop up a bite of porridge. He's starving. 
You pull the bowl away from him, his spoon diving straight into the gnarled wooden table. 
"You'll take me, or I'll tell the first palacemen that I find who you are and where you were." 
"This isn't how you negotiate." 
"Good thing I'm not negotiating." 
He tries to intimidate you. Steve is not very intimidating. He frowns and he looks unhappy rather than angry, the worst he dips into is a pestered annoyance. His stomach gurgles in the ensuing silence. 
"Why do you need someone to take you? Your mother left just this morning by herself."
You raise your eyebrows. 
Steve sighs. "And if I did take you… then what? I suppose you'll want safe passage home, as well?" 
You slide his porridge a little bit closer to his outstretched hand.
"You'll be coming back this way anyhow." 
Well, yeah. He didn't know you knew that. Steve sighs, the most pained and inconvenienced groan he can muster because everything is awful and he's hurting in six different places. You don’t budge. 
"Fine. Fine! I'll take you into the city to see the lanterns, and I'll bring you home. And you will give me back my satchel and my- uh, findings." 
You push the porridge toward him. "That was easier than I expected."
Steve wishes he could pretend your smugness wasn't sweet, either. Because he isn't going to make this easy for you, not one bit. 
He watches you pack your bag from the table and feels very, very sorry for you. For starters, you don't really have a bag, only a sack for potatoes now emptied. You take two clean dresses down from the clothesline they'd been hanging on and fold them before putting them at the bottom of the sack carefully, and then you're clueless. 
"It'll be five or six days," he says, "now I've lost my horse." 
Lost isn't the right word. His stolen horse had sprinted off into the forest and left him stranded. Another ailment to add to his list — thrown bodily off of a stallion. 
"Do you have any better shoes?" 
You look down at your pretty slippers and grimace. "No." 
"You don't get out much, do you?" 
You ignore him and pull a case of things out from under the small counter in the alcove of your kitchen. You drop a roll of linen bandages into the sack and shove the case back under the counter with your foot as you bring out a block of cheese and a box of matches. 
Poor girl, he thinks. 
"Don't worry too much about it." 
"I'm not worried," you say, topping your provisions off with a punnet of fruit and the last of your fresh flatbread covered in a beeswax wrapping. "This will be fun." 
You're scared enough to feel tears welling in your eyes. 
Steve walks ahead of you, shoes hidden by lush green grass as he makes his way toward the valley's exit. You're not sure he's realised you're not behind him, or maybe he has and he refuses to wait. You've finished bricking the secondary entrance to the tower closed again, and while it seems obviously disturbed you have no choice but to hope mother doesn't steer around the back anytime soon. 
Your adrenaline has been pumping ever since you jimmied the tile and unlocked the trap door. Your chest physically aches with anxiety, and your breath has begun to feel short and shallow. 
"Are you coming?" Steve calls. 
You heave the potato sack over your shoulder and take a step forward. 
The earth is soft and hard underfoot, an impossible sensation. You rock your heel back and forth and test the uneven ground for purchase. The temptation to reach down and touch it for the first time is high but Steve's still watching you, so you hurry toward him and try not to fall over. You take a huge, calming breath. 
It smells gorgeous out here. Despite keeping the window cracked and the tower clean, there's a lived-in smell that can't be escaped. Out here, you can practically taste the earth. The crisp air burns your nose. 
Steve keeps a fast pace and neither of you talk. Your companion isn't happy about his predicament and you can't blame him, you've practically taken him hostage. He isn't a poor sport either, and he hasn't been cruel. Quiet, he parts the ivy covering the valley exit and lets you pass. 
The world is even bigger from there. 
"Stay close, okay? I don't know what kind of vagrants we'll come across this far from town." 
You swallow a lump in your throat. "Uh-huh." 
You stay likely too close, your arm gracing his own every now and then. Each time you pull away and each time you end up drifting back toward him. The quiet is impenetrable. You don't know what to say to a man. To anybody. Mother's usually the guiding force of every conversation, and her insistence has left you poorly equipped. 
Steve seems content to languish in silence. 
You walk. You watch the sun move, heat burning your skin by midday. You're not used to walking such long distances or being so exposed to the elements, and by evening you hurt everywhere. Your face shines with perspiration and your shoes chafe your ankles raw, each step a barb. 
As if things couldn't get worse, guilt grabs and holds you. Guilt and fear. What will mother think if she finds out you've left? What would she say? How ridiculously naive, darling. I told you, you aren't to leave the tower. Do you seriously think you know better than I do? Do you think I'm stupid? I'm hurt. I'm hurting that you'd think so low of me. 
You try to shake the thoughts away. A shiver rushes down your spine. 
Steve holds a hand over his eyes, turning his head to the West where the sun approaches the horizon. 
"It'll be dark in a few hours,” he says. 
You nibble the inside of your cheek, voice hoarse and throat dry from your lack of conversation. "Will we camp for the night?" 
He shakes his head, the sun climbing up his neck to paint his brown hair blonde. "If memory serves, there's an inn not far from here." He smiles. "You'll like it." 
"Oh. That's good." 
"Yeah." 
You kick a small stone. "How do you know where we're going?" You'd been on a dirt path now for an hour or two, or rather two dirt paths, worn by carriage wheels. "Everything looks the same." 
"I'm an excellent navigator." 
Sure enough, he navigates the two of you toward a pretty little inn snugly hidden between a crop of towering, leafy trees, a shock of beige and brown in an overwhelmingly green landscape. 
"Le Vilain Caneton," you read off of the sign, giving him a bright smile. "That sounds nice." 
"What did I tell you? You're gonna love this." 
Steve doesn't feel bad, at first. 
He throws open the door. The handle slams hard enough into the wood behind it that he's surprised there isn't a cracking sound. He ushers you inside, finding that the handle hasn't broken a hole in the wall because there's already one there. 
It's sleazy, all things considered. Steve has avoided this place pretty much his entire adult life after a trade gone wrong, and while he feels his appearance has changed enough to spare him a skirmish he affects the Steven Harrington manner. Two-timing baby Stevie is nowhere to be seen. 
He's still a two-timer. Case in point. 
"Isn't it charming?" he murmurs to you, hand held aloft behind your back. Not touching but ready to if you step back. 
"Yeah," you say weakly. "Really cute." 
Adorable. 
Steve takes a step that encourages you forward into the main area of the room. The smell of cheap ale blooms and the floor is sticky with it. He regrets how it will likely ruin your pretty slippers but he isn't a coward, walking you right up to the bar where a scary looking guy stands wiping glasses with a dirty rag. 
"Are you the innkeeper?" he asks jovially. "We'd like a room." 
Scary guy squints, looks between you and Steve with apprehension. 
Steve's trying to scare you, not get caught. He throws his arm over your shoulders. You shrink under his touch. It's too late for him to pull away, guilt softening the grasp he has on your shoulder as he lays down a thick facade. 
"My wife's tired as a lamb from walking all day, could we get a hot bath drawn with that?" 
Scary guy spits into the cup with a scoff. "Judy?" he calls out gruffly. 
Steve beams. You curl into him slowly, a flower turning to the sun, hiding from the cold. You still smell of jasmine milk soap after all these hours of walking, but he doesn't miss how the lengths of your hair have grown dishevelled with sweat and wind. He wonders how long it might take you to brush free the knots and tangles. He wonders if you do it in the bath. 
You turn to him with your face shining with a trust he doesn't deserve, like you're seeking his protection. 
"Steve, I don't have any money," you whisper. 
His hand rests in the nook of your neck. "That's alright. Consider it part of your innkeeper's fee." 
"Does this come with breakfast, too?" you ask genuinely. 
Judy, a tall, lithely woman who can't be more than thirty takes her station behind the bar and smiles at you before her eyes follow Steve's arm to his body. He freezes at the calculating tilt of her head, the subtle but not invisible squint. 
"Breakfast is an additional two silvers."
"And for the room and bath?" 
"Ten for the room, five for the bath, two for breakfast." Judy grins. Her hair is like copper, shifting around sharp cheekbones. "Seventeen silvers all together." 
Steve frowns but hands over the money. 
Judy takes you up the first flight of rickety stairs to your room, and nods toward the bathing room as you pass it. She shows you where you'll be spending the night, a ramshackle room with a bed made of what Steve suspects to be more straw than padding. He's relieved at the thick quilt set and folded at the bottom. It looks clean enough. 
"I'll knock when the bath is drawn. Will that be for both of you?" 
And so. Steve had feared this, feared the bath in general, and had forgotten to explain this fear to you. 
"Both of us," he says, nodding. 
You're thankfully smart enough to keep any grievances you have at that to yourself. At least, until the door closes, and you pin him with a look that's a mixture of betrayed and furious. Your eyebrows pinch together. 
"Why did you say that?" 
"It's what's expected of us." 
"By who?" you ask, near belligerent. 
He shushes you, a frown of his own taking form. "By everybody. It's what married couples do, they share the water when travelling. And it wouldn't be proper for you to be in the bathing room by yourself, how could your husband protect your honour?" 
"You're not my husband." 
He shushes you again, this time with a severe expression that finally has you giving pause. Your eyes flash with fear and quickly clear. You take a step back. 
He holds a hand out toward you amicably. "Sorry. But it will be much safer for both of us if we can keep our ruse alive. Someone as handsome as you, it isn't right for your reputation to be travelling with me while you're still unmarried, you know? And for me…" He doesn't want to explain the horrible truth to you. If Steve refuses to leave you, to share you, to let men do what men would like to do to you, that might invite a riot.
"I don't have a reputation," you say. 
He shrugs. "It is safer for us to be married."  He hesitates, remembering why he'd brought you here in the first place. The horrible truth may be unseemly, but it could be enough to get you to bow out. "If we aren't married… Well, it doesn't bear saying." 
"What?" you ask, a curious thing. He loves it, and not only because it works to his advantage. 
"Men will take anything they find beautiful. And without care." 
Your fingers tighten around the mouth of your potato sack bag. 
"I see," you say. "Of course. I knew that, mother always says, but." 
He winces at the reminder of your cruel mother. He feels cruel himself, suddenly, for scaring you on purpose as your mother likely does, for being another member of the opposition in your life. All you want is to see the Princess' lanterns, so much so you've hidden under your bed and painted their colours painstakingly onto each slat of supporting wood. A hidden wish, and one you'd deigned to share with him. He starts to think, Maybe I should just take her. How much could it possibly cost me? 
But Steve's from nothing. He was born from nothing, he grew up with nothing. He is, in the grand scheme of the universe and its many, many stars, nothing. Another orphaned boy destined to waste his life stealing coppers from coin purses and sleeping in doorways. 
The sooner he gets that tiara, the better. No more sleeping outside. No more staring up at the wine dark sky and wondering if any of those blistering stars can hear him. 
If they can, they aren't listening. 
You put your bag down on the floor. It thunks. 
"What have you piled in there, sweetness? A mountain?" he asks, momentarily distracted. 
"Nothing!" you rush to say, standing in front of your bag like it might hide it from his view. 
The door knocks before he can question you further. "The bath!" comes Judy's solid tone. 
"Thank you," Steve says, "we'll be right out." He nods at you. "Your change of clothes?" 
You search through your bag with your shoulders to him, hunched to shield the mystery. 
"You can keep your secrets," he teases lightly. The stars know he keeps his own. 
Through the hallway to the bathing room, Judy kicks open the door, points to the bath as though he might not see it otherwise, and then the small weight by the doorway to keep the door closed. There's no steam to the water. 
"How conning," Steve mutters, closing the door after Judy's departure. 
"What?" you ask, your voice curiously strung. 
"The water’s barely hot." 
"I've never had a hot bath before." 
He looks at you through the corner of his eye. "Never?" 
"Sometimes mother would pour warm water through my hair, but no. Does it hurt, when it's too hot?" 
He can't help grinning at you. "Some of the time," he concedes. "It's a nice kind of hurting, though, do you know what I mean? You'll feel much better after." He chuckles, sticking his finger into the water. It isn't not hot, but it could be better considering its cost. "Not that this could ever hurt you." 
"A nice kind of hurting," you mumble. 
"Mm. You should try to be quick, they might want the bath for someone else soon." 
You nod, eyes darkening with your remembered predicament. You hug your clean dress to your chest. He thinks, suddenly, that your hair looks very heavy, and that it must hurt your neck. 
"I won't look," he says, voice soft with sincerity. 
Your shoulders relax. 
He sits with his legs stretched out and shoes pressed to the door to stop a potential intruder, listening, trying not to listen, as you peel out of your clothes. Your bare feet sound strange over the wooden floor, a shushing sound. Your dress and corset fall in rustling waves. 
You gasp as you step into the water. "Oh," you say, the small sound imbued with a simple, common pleasure. 
He feels the tension like fog over the kingdom waters in summer, when the heat is tangible and the nights are short. You look so soft in your clothes. Outside of them, Steve can only imagine. 
He tries very hard to push it from his mind, feeling an unwelcome heat rise anyhow. He blames it on the humidity of the room. 
You pitter for a moment, in awe of the heat. 
"How–" His voice gets caught. He clears his throat, tries a second time, "How do you wash your hair?" 
"I lather the soap in my hands and–" You seem to be victim of the same affliction as he is. "Steve, could you pass me my soap? I'm sorry, I've left it on the vanity with my dress." 
"If you want me to help you, you need only ask. I've been said to have very hard-working hands."
"I thought you were a thief?"
Steve stands up grudgingly. He usually has much better luck with the ladies, yet all his joking flirtation soars straight over your head. Not that he actually wants it to land, nor does he think he could handle your attention. 
He doesn't look at you as he grabs your bar of soap. He unwraps its beeswax covering and hands it to you, looking decidedly at the damp wall opposite. He feels your wet hand touch his. Your skin is so hot it startles him, and the bar of soap slips between your outstretched fingers, slamming and sliding somewhere unknown. 
"Shit," he says. "Alright, best cover yourself." 
He hears quick movements in the water as he turns to you, throwing his gaze to the floor, only a split flash of your naked skin to be seen. Your soap has rounded the corner of the wooden tub, lying behind your straight back. He kneels to pick it up, scowling at the scum sticking to its underside, and nearly headbutts your forehead as he stands. 
He springs back, and he stares. You have water running in rivers down your face, your wet hair framing your shining cheeks, pooling down. It covers the swell of your chest so precisely that Steve bites his tongue, forcing his eyeline back to your waiting face. You have water in your eyes like tears, their lashes turned to triangles, clinging to one another. 
You look like one of the women from his storybook. A water nymph. A siren. The room is warm with steam, and his cheeks, hot to begin with, emanate enough heat to warm your tub again as he makes the comparison. Your looks alone might draw him to drowning. 
"Steve?" you ask, holding out your hand. 
Hair shifts over your body like a dancing shadow, or a beaming light. He isn't sure. There's something about it that feels extraordinary, not just in the length of it. 
He passes you your soap. Ridiculous, he thinks. Imbecilic. Your hair is hair and nothing more. While you're achingly pretty and you have a fine hand, that is where your remarkability ends. 
"Could you turn around again?" you ask, flustered.
He turns around. 
"You brought your pan?" Steve asks you, bewildered. He's standing by the small, thin window, metal-wrought panes that filter the last of the sun's rays. 
You stand shivering by your potato sack and frown at him, setting the pan on the sheets. "I think we might have a more pressing issue." 
"We don't have anything." He seems to appraise your condition. "How do you usually dry your hair?" 
"You wouldn't believe me." 
"How cryptic! I'm afraid you're destined to freeze here, my heart. Or we could take you home, where you may comfortably perform whatever ritual it is that you perform and dry your hair." 
"Wasn't there a fireplace downstairs?" 
"We aren't going back down there." 
"We aren't," you say in agreement, turning his distaste of the collective pronoun back on him. "I'll go by myself." 
"That is a horrible, terrible, awful idea." 
"I'm not going home. I want to– I’m going to see the paper lanterns." 
Steve sighs. After your bath, he'd taken the smaller basin of clean water and washed up, now standing in front of you in his only change of clothes, a darker, navy tunic buttoned to the throat and simple slacks. His shoes are tightly laced even at this hour. You look down at your bare feet and feel majorly abashed by their new blisters and haphazard bandaging. You can't make yourself put your slippers back on. 
He continues his sighing as he crosses the room. He's still grumbling when he opens the door. 
"Well?" he asks, holding it open. 
You pat his arm gently as you pass. "Thank you." 
You trek down the stairs, careful with each footstep that you aren't trodding on a misplaced nail or scary splinter. Wood changes to stone flooring, tiles of a terracotta colour that are large and misshapen. You keep your eyes on them as you cross the room to its only source of heat, a blistering hearth just shy of the room's stage and piano. Somebody sits behind it on the piano bench, though they aren't playing the piano at all, but a great wooden instrument you've never seen. 
"What is that?" you ask Steve. 
He doesn't bend under your attention. He frowns ever so slightly. "What?" 
You point to the instrument as conspicuously as you can. 
Steve takes your shoulder into his hand and guides you toward the fireplace without malice. He's prompting you along, as you've stopped in the middle of the room. 
"You've never seen one of those?" he asks. 
"Not in any of my books." 
"I guess they're still new. That's a vihuela. It's a… it's a nice sound." 
You nod appreciatively, and feel much happier as Steve pulls a nearby chair as close to the hearth as he can without garnering any disgruntled looks from the other patrons. You sneak a peek at their faces. Most are naturally intimidating; there are men with weathered, unkind faces lining the walls with tankards of ale in hand; there are travellers such as yourselves, though they look hardened, sharper than you ever could, coin purses on tables as if daring you to try lifting them; there are women, sparsely, who are sharper in a different way. They remind you of a summer rose, darkly red, a gorgeous head of petals distracting from a thorny stem. 
You sit down in your chair and feel the heat of the fireplace greet your chilled skin, and your soaked back. Your dress has soaked up much of your hairs dripping, the kind of unfortunate happenstance that might spiral into your hypothermic death. Steve puts his chair beside yours and turns his entire body toward yours. You like it. It's like he's hiding you from everybody else, replacing their sneering gazes with his fed-up acceptance. You find extreme comfort in this feeling, as though Steve is the only person in the room with you. 
"Turn to me." 
"What if my hair catches?" 
"You aren't close enough for that." 
You turn to Steve completely. You look like lovers, you must, worse when he takes your slippers and holds them on top of one of his thighs. He has wide thighs, and they make you feel a feeling you don't understand. Everything you know about men has come from Mother or books. Mother claims them to be evil in their entirety. Of the few books you have, and fewer that talk of men beyond the factual, none have ever mentioned why their legs look like that, and why it will make you feel like you've swallowed something much too hot. 
"I'll make sure your hair doesn't go up in flames," he promises grandly, unnecessarily, "consider it one of my guidely duties." 
A shy, pleased smile takes your lips. "Thank you." 
"Yeah, you're welcome." He closes his eyes and tips his head back. "Stars, I'm hungry." 
"I have–" 
"We'll buy dinner. They have hunter's stew here, have you ever tried that?" 
"No." 
He laughs, crossing his arms across his chest. "Of course not. Alright, this will sound gross, but it's really old stew. Years old, maybe decades. They keep adding and adding to the pot with whatever’s in season." 
You don't know everything, or anything, really, but you know that sounds like food poisoning in a bowl. "How doesn't it kill you?" 
"They keep it really, really hot, all day long." 
You like the way he says it, even if he's maybe making fun. He almost sings each word, a melodic cadence to his pronunciation that endears you further. 
"And you've had it? What does it taste like?" 
"See, you'd think it tastes a bit muddled, right? But it's good. You'll like it." 
He makes no move to get up and get the aforementioned soup. You aren't particularly hungry, leaning back just a little so the brutal heat of the flames can warm your damp shoulder. The wetness of your dress is fading, warmed but still undeniably wet, and you wonder if the heat is hurting your hair. Mother always says to keep your hair as far from the hearth as you can at all times, and gets angry when you sit too close. 
The soot, darling. The soot will cling to your hair and ruin it. It is, in Mother's opinion, the most beautiful thing about you. 
Mother. She shouldn't be back home for days now, and still you're worrying. Mostly about being caught. But if you're caught, and she knows you left… 
You have a strange love for your mother. The kind that makes you feel sick in intensity. You want, at all times, to please her. And you know this isn't something she would approve of, Stars, she'd be so disappointed in you for taking this risk. 
You stare up at a wooden beam past Steve's head and try not to tear up. Anxiety eats at you until there's nothing left but your skin, your insides a tangled dark whorl of misery. She must know you've left home. She must know how terribly ungrateful you are for everything she's sacrificed. She must know–
"Are you okay?" 
You blink hurriedly and face Steve, hoping this will dispel the quick-welling tears clouding your vision. It doesn't work: blinking can’t erase years of pent up worry. You wipe your eyes before they can roll down your cheeks and humiliate you further. 
"I'm okay," you say. 
Steve frowns again. He's a frowny guy. 
"What's wrong?" He takes your elbow into his hand.
"Nothing. Uh…" You smile through your embarrassment. "We don't light the hearth at home, often, and uh, I think the smoke is irritating my eyes." You nod for emphasis. 
Steve does not believe you, clearly, but he squeezes your elbow and nods back. 
He looks at your face until you're uneasy. 
"I'll go get that stew,” he says, patting your arm. 
You feel strange once he’s gone. It's nice to be by yourself for a moment. You've spent the majority of your adult life alone while mother goes here, there, and everywhere. You're never allowed to go with her, too stupid for the outside world and all its challenges. 
You look around the room now and wonder if this is really the world she means. Sure, it's foreign, and it's unsettling, and without Steve by your side you might not be left alone as you have been, but you'd expected more. Where are all the insects that make you sick, and the men with cutlasses and shackles? 
Your eyes drift to the vihuela player. He's moved to sit at the opposite side of the fire. He strums lackadaisically at his instrument, his shoulders against the wall and a cup of mead at his feet. It's obvious nobody's given him any coin in a while. 
Behind him sits the piano, glimmering with the flickering firelight. You've read about them, you've even seen drawings of harpsichords, but never heard one played. You wonder what it sounds like. Any music at all is amazing to you. All you've ever heard is singing. One song. 
Steve returns with two bowls of hunter's stew. You're scared to try it but horrified that you might look like a coward in front of him. Again. Your tears had been bad enough. 
You swallow a spoonful and your eyes water unbidden. "Oh, wow." 
"Good, huh?" 
You try not to cough. "It's rich." 
"I guess you haven't had stuff like this before, huh?" He forks through his bowl and pulls out a big pale vegetable roughly cubed. "You like potato?" 
"Yeah," you say, and before you've finished he's pushing the potato against the lip of your bowl and pulling the tines of his fork free. It falls into your stew with a small splash. "Oh. Thank you." 
You try to eat as much of it as you can but start to feel sick somewhere in the middle. You set your bowl aside and Steve, bowl emptied, drops his next to it, wiping his hands together and standing. 
You look up, puzzled. 
"Come on." 
Your hair isn't quite dry, a tugging weight for your neck as Steve slides his hand over your warm shoulder. You worry it might never full dry again, not without a helping hand. 
He leads you up the small platform to the piano. 
You look to him inquisitively. 
"It's alright. I asked them if you could try it. Just try not to play too loudly and disrupt the bard." 
"How do you adjust how loud it is?" 
He pushes down on your shoulders until you're sitting on the bench. "You play softly. It's going to be a little loud no matter what. Don't smash the keys." 
"Are they fragile?" you ask worriedly, holding your tensed fingertips above the white and pitch keys. 
"No," he says, laughing without any judgement, "move over, I'll show you." 
He sits on the bench beside you. There's not a whole lot of room, and his arm presses hot to yours. He places his hand above the keys like he knows what he's doing, and presses down. He plays a line of notes, the sounds a plinking rising melody that has you gasping in awe. 
"Don't," —he presses down a huge chunk of keys, and the sound is awful— "do this." 
You look up to see if anybody's glaring. Then you burst into giggles, face pressed to his shoulder on automatic as you try to smother the sound. He laughs warmly near your ear.
You probe curiously at the keys and try to make a song. You don't know how, don't know one note from another, you can't fathom how someone might make this into anything more than the bard's lazy fingerings. 
"Do you know anything?" Steve asks. 
Do you know anything? Mother demands. Darling, I've told you a million times…
"No. Sorry," you say. 
His voice is sincerely sweet, like he's confused you'd ever be sorry, "For what? I can play you something. Choose a song." 
"I only know the one." 
He blinks at you. You shrink into yourself as he averts his gaze, knowing what he's thinking. How useless you are. 
The song starts slowly. Steve taps one key, and then another. It lends and lists into music suddenly, the repetition of a simple melody. He doesn't sing, just speaks the words as he plays. 
"She sends me a flower to hold me," he says, an echo of song in his tone. "She sends me a flower to– night." He moves his hands up to a higher sound. "She loves me too much, so she's told me. But if she loved me, oh loved me, she might… Come to see me, oh sweetheart, come to see me, oh lover, come to see me, oh darling." He smiles at you. "Come to see me to– night." He clears his throat, hand stilling. "You'd sing the bridge again, but I think I'll spare your ears." 
"Is that yours?" you ask him. 
He drops his hand into his lap. "No. Steve Harrington doesn't pen love poems, I'm afraid." 
"Only plays them." 
His smile turns to a smirk, so sticky it's catching. 
"You're not the mouse I'd thought you were," he says.
"Was this realisation before or after I tried to maim you with a cast iron pan?" 
He's about to answer, a spark behind his eyes, when the door opens wide enough to split its hinges. The origin of the hole in the wall is clear, and he waltzes in with a band of men behind him, grinning. 
"Oh, for Stars’ sake," Steve mutters. 
"What?" you ask. 
The man at the front of the group of men — or, as they step into the light and reveal themselves, boys — sets his one un-patched eye on you and Steve, smiles like the devil, and croons, "Stevie!" 
Steve's smile is gone. 
"Eddie," he says tiredly. 
"You're back!" Eddie looks you up and down, and his expression turns to one of complete surprise. "With a wife? My, my, we have been busy." 
Steve stands, and Eddie, in all his darkness, dark hair and eyes and tunic, his grin turns mean. You hide behind one of Steve's thighs, hesitant. He drops his hand against the top of your head. 
"Why's it matter?" Steve asks. 
"It doesn't." This Eddie sounds all too cheerful. "What does matter, I'm afraid, is the debt between us." 
"I don't owe you anything." 
You watch with widened eyes as Eddie unsheathes his sword. The scabbard has a mottling of shiny reds and blacks, and the blade glows silver to white in the light. It's sharp.
Steve pulls a small knife from his hip. You hadn't realised he was carrying a weapon. 
Eddie takes a step forward, his shoes like a thunderclap across the wooden floor. 
"I'm afraid my Sweetheart here doesn't agree." 
˗ˋˏ ☆ ˎˊ˗
eddie isn’t a bad guy he’s just confrontational <3 thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed, and if you did, please consider reblogging i promise it makes a huge difference <3
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writersmacchiato · 7 months
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Todd can’t help the way he feels about you.
You’re kind to him, always nice, so patient. Never getting annoyed when he stumbles over his words or goes quiet as he gets lost in his head trying to think of the best response, forgetting to answer.
It’s why when he overhears your friend teasing you about a crush, his heart instantly sinks to his stomach, feeling sick, because there’s no doubt in his mind that it’s not him.
It could never be someone like Todd who would hold such attention from you.
Things like that didn’t happen to Todd.
He should leave it alone. He should forget he ever heard anything. He should really leave you alone, his senior of one year, and find friends his own age.
But he doesn’t seem to click with anyone else.
He felt desperately like a puppy scorned of any attention when you first smiled at him, all kind angles, nothing malicious in the way you talked to him so nicely.
You’re overcompensating, with your kindness. For all the bad things that have happened to you. You’ve let him into your life, sharing things that not a lot of your friend group knew (not that Todd knew this, to him it was common knowledge). And he’s surprised that your life isn’t perfect.
For all the shitty, horrible, terrible things that have occurred, you’re just as determined to be the opposite. To be a light instead of the darkness that is so easy to succumb to.
“I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up,” you whisper to him one night, sneaking away from the party with your lukewarm drink and his soda that’s beginning to taste flat.
Your head leans against his shoulder and he tries to breathe evenly, to be the perfect shoulder for you.
“I was really lonely. It felt like no matter what I did, I never fit in. People liked me, but no one wanted to be my best friend. So, I guess I never want anyone else to feel like that.”
Todd thinks about that night a lot. The weight of you against him, how the air was crisp, and the scent of your shampoo drifting into his senses.
He wonders if you’ve brought him into your circle out of pity. If you don’t see him as a friend, but as a past version of yourself laden with no friends. If you’re trying to reach into the past and rewrite the story. He doesn’t like to think about it too much because it hurts.
Really, he should try to spend less time thinking about you. But the more he tries to forget, the more he thinks.
He can’t stop thinking about the word crush. His dictionary has been opened to the C section so many times that it has a natural crease there now, flipping to the page as soon as he opens the book.
Crush: a strong but temporary feeling of liking someone.
It could be just a harmless tease from your friend. As far as he knows, there is no one who you could have a crush on. He watches you a lot, and there’s not a lot of people you spend frequent time with outside of your friends and him.
This endless thought that could be nothing that is leading him into a slow descent into obsession. It bothers him.
Someone who could yield your affections must be someone special, worthy of such attention.
But what if it’s not? What if it’s someone who wouldn’t be careful with your heart, wouldn’t take the time to learn the workings of your mind? What if your feelings are not temporary?
Todd loses sleep over it, worry gnawing at the edges of his thoughts until he’s become edgy.
You notice, of course, that Todd will withdraw into himself. With gentle coaxing, he’ll return but sometimes he stays stuck.
Lately he’s been stuck and nothing you’ve done has been able to break through.
He shocks you by finding you in the library, clearly still caught in the webs of his overthinking mind. Appearing normal as he pulls out a textbook and notebook, pen tapping against the palm of his hand.
The words blurt out of his mouth, rushed through in a painful exhale that sounds more breathy than he intended. He hadn't even meant to say that.
“You have a crush?” He asks.
And then stops, breath hitching, heart beginning to race.
He doesn’t want to know. Can’t bear to watch the way your lips form the name of someone who isn’t him.
Instead, you smile at him. Shrugging your arms and sighing.
“Not you too! Everyone is pestering me over it.” You avoid the question, Todd is quick to notice.
“I overheard Meeks.” Todd says.
“He’s such an instigator.” You roll your eyes.
Todd knows you well enough to know that you’ve purposefully not answered him. It brings a small flutter to his chest.
“Do you?”
It’s painful, to dig in and search for an answer that he know will hurt. Rubbing salt into the wound that is his aching heart. But he has to know. It’s like an itch he can’t reach.
“Yes, Todd, I do. Although calling it a crush is silly. It’s much stronger than that.” You say, very quietly.
Or maybe Todd can’t hear you well over the sudden rushing in his ears.
“Oh.” It’s all he can manage.
Crush, is simple and small. Temporary.
Stronger than a crush? Well. That’s not so simple or small.
“Todd, can you look at me?”
He can't. Eyes glued to the floor of the library, feeling his cheeks flush with warmth and his stomach twist into knots. Slippery and hot as he tries to calm the sudden urge to be sick.
You reach out to grab his clammy hands, giving them a firm squeeze. He manages to squeeze back.
“It’s okay, breathe.” You count out the breaths for him until they’re no longer shaky.
His cheeks are still flushed, but not with anxiety. Feeling the sweat on his neck begin to cool. Stomach settling.
“Todd, I really like you. A lot.” You grin. “I have a crush on you.”
“Why me?”
“Because you’re you.”
Todd has another fitful night of sleep, but this time it's because he can't stop thinking about the moment in the library. Flushed with embarrassment, but also with a giddiness. Thinking of what you had said, to him alone and him only:
"I'm infatuated with you, Todd Anderson."
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thornedrose44 · 11 months
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16 supercorp please 🥺
Prompt: “Eat the rich, am I right?”
(Read on AO3)
Kara threw back the shot, swallowing the alien liquor in one go, desperately seeking the fuzziness and disconnection that only inebriation could bring.
“Woah, slow down there.” Alex laughed, “You know since adopting Esme my alcohol tolerance has plummeted.”
“Right… sorry.” Kara mumbled, moving to adjust her glasses only for her fingers to brush bare skin, the surprise of it and the sheer stupidity of the action making her gaze dart over to the spot she’d ordered herself not to look at. 
She grimaced and quickly drank another shot. 
Alex’s brow immediately pinched with concern, her head twisting round to track down whatever sight had provoked the discontent in her sister; before she had a chance to locate the issue, Nia was falling into the booth beside Alex, giggly and slightly sweat-sheened from dancing. Brainy slipped in next to Kara, looking equally flustered and energetic. 
“This place is amazing! We should come every week!” Nia declared jubilantly.
“I concur!” Brainy agreed instantly, his smile wide, lopsided and smeared with a purple shade that matched Nia’s lipstick. 
“Let’s see if you both feel the same in the morning…” Alex drawled, sipping her pint glass of water, having made the smart decision to alternate alcohol with hydration. 
Nia either pointedly ignored this statement or had already mentally moved on from the conversation, Kara couldn’t really tell which, too busy sneakily taking another shot. Nia was already shifting in her seat, head rotating this way and that way, desperate to get back out on the dance-floor and burn more energy as she took hasty sips of the cocktail Alex and Kara had been guarding.
“Holy moly!” Nia exclaimed, going still as her eyes locked onto something. “Those two are about to get it on.”
“What? Who?” Alex asked curiously, even as Kara went rigid, eyes burning and heart racing.
“Talk about eat the rich, am I right?” Nia snorted, nudging Alex’s side as Alex slowly turned back to meet Kara’s gaze, her expression painfully sympathetic and understanding. “I knew Lena and Andrea had a whole thing but I had no idea it was heating back up again. I mean hot damn. Hey, Kara?” Nia murmured, leaning over the table, head lolling forward like an eager puppy with absolutely no filter. “Did you know? Do you think Lena’s going to go home with Andrea? Do you think they’re going to get together? Oh my god, can you imagine if they like properly date or… get married? How rich would they be together? Do you-”
CRACK-BANG
The table of their booth splintered apart, thudding loud and heavy to the ground - Alex let out a wince of pain as it banged her knees on the descent, Nia and Brainy’s alcohol levels dulling them to the impact.
“Shi-Shoot, I… I am so sorry…” Kara said, staggering to her feet, stomping the debris harder into the ground and inadvertently making any repair impossible.
“Is everyone okay?” 
Kara cringed, looking over to find Lena, Andrea and Kelly - all of them having rushed over the instant they heard the noise. Staff were approaching but a wave from Lena and promise to pay for the expenses kept them at bay. Kara could barely look at her best friend, shoulders hunched up high and body curled forward with shame and in a vain attempt to mitigate the ache in her chest. 
Lena was in a black dress with a high cut up the thigh; her hair was loose, curly and voluminous like a dark-haired Sandy from Grease. Her cheeks were flushed a bright pink, eyes dark and sparkling and the neck of her dress was pulled off one shoulder to reveal the expanse of tempting flesh. 
(Kara had watched Andrea’s hands tease at the split in Lena’s dress, fingertips kissing the flash of thigh before marking a path up Lena’s side, hooking around the edge of fabric to pull it to the side allowing Andrea’s nose and the ghost of her lips to trail along Lena’s collarbone).
“We’re fine.” Alex answered immediately, getting to her feet and reaching for Kara - only for Kara to sway backwards out of reach and nearly fall over.
Hands in all directions reached out to steady her but with her ears filled with the sound of Lena’s familiar thrumming heartbeat is it any wonder that she fell towards Lena who touched her like she was fragile rather than a wrecking ball?
“You okay?” Lena whispered, head ducking forward so the words were just between the two of them.
Kara blinked into caring green eyes, breath catching in her throat so stubbornly that she felt herself actually choke on it - words totally beyond her capability.
She shook her head, unable to stop the action. 
Lena’s face instantly set, becoming determined and clear as if all the alcohol was instantly purged from her system. Hands that had been delicately placed on Kara’s shoulders to offer maximum stabilisation, traced down her arms until their fingers were tangled - locking them together. 
“I’m taking Kara home.” Lena declared, barely glancing around at the rest of the group.
Kara knew her sister would frown, considering whether to step in but would ease back if Kara shuffled that little bit closer to Lena - proving that this was what she wanted. During the shuffle forward, Kara caught a glimpse of Andrea’s expression: strained, disappointed and not so slightly annoyed. Any sense of victory Kara would have felt at provoking such a reaction was diminished by how Lena released Kara’s hand to fleetingly squeeze Andrea’s forearm, murmuring a promise to call or text when possible.
The interaction soured the mix of liquids in her stomach and as Lena led her out of the side-exit of the club to avoid scrutiny, Kara had to stop them so she could throw up in the gutter. Lena held her hair back, fingers cold and soothing on the back of Kara’s heated neck, her words even more gentle. Lena guided Kara into her chauffeured car, forcing her to drink water and then letting her rest her head on her shoulder and play with Lena’s fingers for the whole journey. 
They arrived back at Kara’s apartment, Lena still steering her with infinite care, helping drink more water and get changed into pyjamas - Lena purposefully looking away whenever bare skin was exposed which only made the ache in Kara’s chest all the more pronounced. 
“Why does she get to touch you like that?” Kara asked when she could no longer hold the drunk-induced words back.
“Hmm?” Lena hummed, raising an eyebrow curiously as she tucked the duvet in around Kara’s heavy-limbed form, “Who gets to touch me like what?”
Kara pursed her lips, looking into the far corner of her room as she muttered darkly, “Andrea…”
Lena froze for a painful beat, and Kara was suddenly acutely aware of how her eardrums throbbed with the remnant bass of the club. Lena slowly pulled away standing up to her full height as she peered down at Kara, her expression inscrutable.
“Because she asked, because she showed interest.” Lena said eventually, the words clipped and sharp. “You’ve never even tried to touch me like that. Never given any indication that you would want to…”
Kara still adamantly refused to look at her, fingers fidgeting with the edge of her quilt.
 “I know you went out on a date with William Day.” Lena murmured, and Kara cringed away at that. 
She was aware that she had said yes to him because she hoped he would reduce how much she thought of Lena but all it did was make Lena feel all the more easily replaced and forgotten.
Lena sighed and pinched her brow with index finger and thumb as if this conversation - if Kara - was producing a migraine. “Nevermind. You should sleep.”
“Are you going to sleep with her?” Kara asked quietly, wanting the salt to be rubbed into her wounds, wanting the burn in the hope that the sheer sharpness of it would reduce the underlying ache.
“If she asks…” Lena whispered hesitantly - Kara lived and died a thousand times over in that minor pause -, “probably. Is there a reason I shouldn’t?”
“I don’t like her.”
“I didn’t like Mike or Mon-El.” Lena shot back, shaking her head. “That’s not a good enough reason.”
“Then what would be?” Kara demanded, head turning towards her, gaze focused on the white flash of thigh through the slit in Lena’s dress - still not able to look up into her green eyes.
“If you like me more.” Lena breathed.
Kara licked her lips, lungs inflating to put the long-awaited declaration out into the world only for her jaw to snap shut and her tongue to stick to the bottom of her mouth.
 “You can’t say it, can you?” Lena laughed, the sound mournful and broken. “That’s the difference, you know? She’s not scared or embarrassed to like me, to ask to touch me.”
“Is that what you think: that I’m embarrassed?” Kara cringed, head bowing down as if she was praying to Lena, offering herself up in supplication.
“I don’t know,” Lena admitted, “but when I have no alternative… what should I default to thinking? If you say and do nothing despite my repeated invitations to it’s either because you don’t like me like that or you do but you don’t want to act on it.” 
Another pause, another chance for redemption.
“It’s… I…” Kara began falteringly before trailing off into the heaviest of silences.
Lena sighed again, hand reaching out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Kara’s ear, “Go to sleep, Kara.”
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