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bibbykins · 3 years

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Cookies and Fingertips (M)

Some Jimin loving! We love to see it! I hope you all enjoy this installation as I try to figure out how to properly flesh out characters in a drabble series. Am not sure how I’m doing there but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless. As always, tips are not required but greatly appreciated, just like your thoughts! Pls share your thoughts though, they brighten my day!

Note: This is part of a drabble series The Household’s Bunny

Summary: You and Jimin met long before you moved in, and yet, you’re not sure if he even likes you. So what else is there to do but take every opportunity to talk to him until you figure it out?

Jimin has had a debilitating crush on you long before you moved in and he is almost positive there is no way you’d feel the same. And yet, he doesn’t have the strength to properly avoid you.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: 18+, soft yandere-ish, obsessive thoughts, possessive thoughts, fingering, handjob, subspace, cum eating (sorta?), discussion of hospitalization, mentions of a stalker, mentions of passing out, the word “fat” is used, a moment of thigh riding, surprise kiss, insecurity

Jimin looked across the courtyard as his eyes remained fixated on your form. You were a simple second year in college and he was just a breath away from graduating. He first laid eyes on you a mere year ago and he can't remember what life was truly like before you smiled at him. You both had only ever exchanged pleasantries, so he opted to wait for the right time to make his move.

“That’s not true.” Your voice snapped Jimin from his staring contest with the PowerPoint slides, “That’s an antiquated idea, not a proven theory.” He looked to you, a couple rows down. You were plump and cute to say the least. He recognized you from a few of his courses. He had heard you were a double major in Art and… damn, what was the other?

The man you had rebutted had his face turning red, “It is proven, it was studied in 1973 with significant results yielded.” Jimin had no idea what you both were debating but he watched a sea of student nod in agreeance with you, some with the guy. What class was he even in? He looked at the PowerPoint slides, reading them for the first time today. Ah, he was in his psych of gender class. Maybe you were a psych major.

“In 1973, with no women in the participant pool, are you not seeing the issue in making a multi-gendered generalization whilst utilizing one genders perspective, a perspective that is also quite dated, mind you?” You cocked a brow and Jimin found himself a bit amused at the man who scoffed.

“You learn those words in high school two months ago?” He snapped back and Jimin grimaced along with most of the lecture hall.

“What? You need me to define them?” You quipped, eliciting some laughter as the professor regrouped.

“Ah, educational discourse.” The professor joked lightly as Jimin’s eyes remained fixed on you as you noticed a few lingering gazes on you, shrinking in your seat.

He saw you in the lunch hall, sitting alone, not uncommon for anyone in college, except your eyes were a bit puffy. Before he could even question the urge, he acted. Within a few steps, he was at your table and you looked up in confusion, “Uh, hi?” You meekly spoke and Jimin realized he had no plan.

“U-Uh, you… uh… do you like the cookies?” He forced out and immediately wished he could disappear.

You looked down at the cookie on your plate, “Uh, yes? Is-Is this a fat joke or do you actually want to know?” You asked cautiously.

Jimin’s eyes widened, “No, I mean yes, I mean no, I would never make fun of your weight.” He squeezed his eyes and sighed, not able to see your growing smile at his mental turmoil, “I have psych of gender with you and people rarely talk in that class so I thought you were pretty cool.” He smiled and he noticed you relax.

You nodded, smiling slightly, “Ah, I see. Thank you.” You beamed and it was like he felt the warmth from you, “I don’t do super well with attention but I also have poor impulse control.” You chuckled and he finally understood why you had cried and his heart strings were tugged a bit, “And yes, the cookies are good.” You split one in half and offered it to him.

Life goes by a lot quicker when one waits for the perfect opportunity. This much he found out quickly when he found himself a year later, looking across the courtyard at you, this time as your TA. He tried dating to get the daunting idea of talking to you after that singular interaction in which he forgot to give you his name from his mind to no avail. No matter, surely this would be the year.

”Jiminie is so hot!” Jimin continued to pretend not to hear his ex, Yoora, whine in your ear as he observed the intro to modern dance class.

You looked to her thoughtfully as you stretched, “You mean the TA, that is not that far away?” Your voice was lowered, but he could still hear you. He found himself listening closer, wondering if you remembered the singular interaction you both had. Yoora nodded in the corner of his eye.

“Yep.” She affirmed, “We dated, it was magical, and he’s still hot.” She mused and Jimin grimaced a bit, feeling bad he dated a girl that seemed to be a decent friend of yours, “Do you know him?”

Jimin perked up a bit, “We talked once, seems nice, is obviously hot.” You shrugged, “I doubt he remembers me, though.” You leaned down to reach past your left foot as Yoora urged you on with her eyes, “I had gotten into a weird debate with this one dude in a class we had and he saw me after, and I had just cried because I hate arguing and stares.” You and Yoora laughed a bit, “Then, he just came up to me and asked if I liked the cookies I were eating, and I wasn’t sure if he was calling me fat at first.” Yoora gasped and Jimin felt pain just thinking about the awkwardness, “He wasn’t, and he got cutely flustered when I asked and then I gave him half of my cookie and that’s all.” You moved to your other leg, “And then he never talked to me again.” You laughed and Jimin wanted the floor to swallow him.

Another year goes by. The day before he was going to try and ask you out, you were hospitalized. He didn't know how to even approach the topic with you, but he did try to be there for you throughout that year. The professor he was TA for insisted Jimin also utilize his emails, so all throughout your brief stay in medical care, it was him who received your bubbly emails. The emails full of little emoticons and exclamation points that made him giddy and took him hours to conceptualize a response to. Although you didn't know it was him giving you extensions and safe regards, he still meant it.

He was practicing when he got the email,

“Attention students,

We have received knowledge of an incident that has resulted in the hospitalization of a student that occurred within an apartment close to campus. Proper authorities have been notified and the student is recovering well. Please remain safe and vigilant.”

His face twisted in confusion when he got a text from the professor he was TA for that you were the student in question.

Throughout the semester, Jimin watched you with careful eyes as you slowly acclimated back to yourself. He wondered how he could have been so blinded by your smile that he couldn't properly see your eye bags or the way you looked over your shoulder when you thought no one was looking at you, or how he couldn't see he wasn't the only one looking at you.

When you returned, he watched your eyes relax and your guard go down again. He just wished he could've been there to help you get there. He trudged home one day and found you, and then his whole world was flipped by you again.

Since moving in, he found himself way more advanced with you than he ever imagined. You would plop next to him on the couch and give him a smile, "How was your day, Jiminie?" You beamed at him each time and he nearly choked on his spit each time.

He would mumble an answer and you would hum before watching TV with him, a show he deliberately put on each time he heard you come home. Eventually, you began watching competition shows together, theorizing who would win what. It was comfortable and close, and he found himself falling for you even harder.

"Do you wanna have lunch together?" Your voice pulled him from his thoughts in the practice room he had on his floor in the building. He had agreed to help with your final. The only time he could talk to you without it being a mental nightmare was when it was about dancing. The only time he could initiate contact was in this studio.

The studio gave him a certain air of confidence that even you could see. He wasn't a different person, more so multi-faceted. There was the shy and bumbling part of Jimin just as much as there was the sharp-eyed and focused Jimin. Not to mention the way his fingers would dance on your form as he gave you pointers made you unreasonably aroused.

Even so, determined to challenge himself, he nodded, "Lead the way." His voice was smooth even after two straight hours of practice and you wondered how he could look so hot work out clothes.

You both decided to pick up food and eat it at the studio. You sat across from each other as you ate in polite conversation. It was after you both picked up the food and sat on the floor you spoke up again, "You know, Jiminie." You started, eyes shyly fixated on the floor, "I wanted to thank you for not telling the guys about my, uh, incident a year ago." You finally looked him in the eyes, a soft smile on your face, "Not that it's a huge secret, especially on campus, but I just prefer to tell people myself." You mused.

He blinked, surprised you would thank him for something like that, "O-Of course, I mean, a lot of rumors were going around anyways, so even if I did want to tell them, I doubt I have only the facts." He shrugged, "It's not anyone else's business regardless."

You stifled a little giggle, "Yeah, some of the stories got a bit crazy." You sighed a bit, "From a stalker attacking me to me passing out in the middle of the street." Jimin looked up at you. You didn’t meet his gaze, most likely reliving the aftermath of the whole campus finding out you were hospitalized and are a cam girl in the same week. Not that you were ever hiding you job, but you just wished you could tell people on your own terms.

"Yeah, some crazy things get told in the Arts department." He murmured, "I only knew most of the facts because your TA for Professor Lee's class."

It was your turn to look up, but instead of confusion he saw a polite smile, "I know, silly." You chuckled and when you saw his confused face you looked at him incredulously, "Come on, you're Park Jimin! Of course I'm gonna know the 'hottest dance major'" You fake gushed and he finally broke a laugh, making you giddy.

"Of all things to know me by." He shook his head, smile still present.

You studied his face as his eyes scrunched and cheeks lifted, making you smile as well, "I've never made you smile before and your smile is so pretty." You mused, "I need to step up my comedy game."

"You've never seen me smile?" He looked surprised at this, considering he always smiled like an idiot when he stared longingly at you.

"I mean, sort of, but not to this degree." You shook your head, "I was starting to think you didn't like me for a while."

His eyes widened at this and he panicked, "No, no! I do like you, a lot!" He exclaimed, much to your amusement and to his dismay. You watched him get red with a grin.

He stammered, staring at his fork before he heard your melodious laugh. He looked up and his face softened at the sight of your smile, "You're too cute, Jiminie." You reached forward and pinched his cheek, making his breath hitch. Your cooing tone made something click inside him. He didn't want to be just cute to you, he wanted to be more than any adjective, he wanted to be yours.

He reached up, hand going to wrap around your wrist loosely, "I was the hottest a second ago and now I'm just cute?" A glint of confidence shown in his eye as he made you gulp, "Is that all you think of me, y/n?" Your own name coming from his mouth sent a shiver down your spine and a beat to your core.

You were in a trance while being eyed by the man with a vastly different energy than he had just moments ago. You shook your head lightly, "I think you're beautiful." He cocked a brow and you scrambled for more words, "I had a huge crush on you from the moment I gave you half of my cookie." You breathed before even thinking, snapping you back to reality as you watched his eyes widen, "Ah, me and my mouth!" You admonished yourself, "I didn't mean to make you uncomf-" You frantically moved to take your hand back only for his grip to tighten, pulling you forward, placing your hand at the nape of his neck while his arm wrapped around your waist.

You gulped at the newfound closeness, bodies nearly pressing against each other as he eyed you sharply, "Do you mean it?" He breathed, "You had a crush on me?" You made a move to slink away, but you he gracefully laid himself down with you on top of him, his thigh mere centimeters from your core and he gave you a mischievous smile, "Don't leave me hanging." He teased.

"I-I mean… yes, but can-"

He cut you off with a sigh and a laugh. You braced yourself for him to laugh at you, and say how weird it would be had you confessed and how weird the idea of you two together would be.

It's a song and dance you've seen many times as a hopeless romantic chubby girl. Of course, now you know you were just too much woman for such little men, emotionally little at the very least, but you would be a liar if you didn't still feel the hurt of humiliation. The last thing you wanted was to look into Jimin's eyes and find the same pitying glint, but you were nothing if not a bit brave, at least sometimes.

You forced your eyes from his chest to his gaze and found… an emotion you've only every seen in the eyes of your housemates, an emotion you don't quite know yet, even if you felt it too. At your curiosity, Jimin beamed at you further, "I'd be really frustrated right now if you weren’t on top of me." He chuckled a bit and explained further before you could ask why, "I have had such a huge crush on you for years now." You balk at this, shaking you head.

"That's not a funny joke, Jiminie." You huffed, "If I were even a bit more gullible, I would seriously believe you and then my feelings would be hurt-" He pulled you flush against him as he captured your mouth in a soft and sweet kiss. He was slow, but focused, in the way his mouth moved against yours.

Inside, though, Jimin was freaking out. What if you didn't actually want to kiss him? Why didn't he ask beforehand? Should he pull away? But your mouth feels so good. Are you kissing him back or is he just that enthusiastic?

You laid his worries to rest when you used the hand at his nape to pull him closer, mouth opening to nibble on his bottom lip. He groaned lightly, pulling you closer as his tongue mingled with your own and he pressed his thigh into the thin material of your leggings. You gasped at this and it was like a fire lit within him as he sat up and shifted you for your legs to be on both sides of him as he pressed his mouth onto yours further.

His fingertips danced along your form in a much different context than you were used to, but fuck, did it feel nice. Where one arm was securely holding your waist, his hand reached beneath your shirt, getting accustomed to the soft skin as he waited for you to nod. You wanted him to touch you further. You didn't understand what all these hot men wanted with you, but right now, it didn't matter one bit.

Jimin's eyes rolled back when he reached in your sports bra to run his fingers over your hardened nipples. You twitched against him as you gasped, fingers intertwining with his hair roughly, "Shit." He groaned at the sensation.

You both sloppily kissed as he explored your chest with his hands, moaning into each other's mouths at the euphoria of unresolved feelings coming to fruition and the sexual tension finally snapping as you gave him unrestricted access to feel you beneath his fingertips, "Wanted this for so long." He murmurs into your mouth, "So beautiful, fuck." The praises don't stop, and only further spur you wandering hand on as you feel his sculpted stomach.

"Wanna touch you." You whine as your fingers play with the waistband of his sweats and he nods, his own hand travelling down to cup your core, making you squeak, "Fuck, I'm so wet." You realized, half embarrassed and half aroused.

You could feel his amusement as he slipped his hand beneath your tights and panties to make skin to skin contact with your soaked core, and he didn't know how he made it this far, but he just wants to keep going as he feels you soak his hand, "Yeah, baby, you are, just for me." He moans when you follow his lead, hand wrapping around his hardened erection and giving a small squeeze, "Shit!" He gasps as you wiggled your hips against his hand, grinding yourself little by little.

Your hand massaged the head, smearing the precum as you begin stroking him. You both continue moaning into each other's mouths as his hips jerked and you twitched against his hands, "So fucking wet, baby, so sexy." He growled and he slipped a finger inside of you, him groaning at your pulsating warmth wrapped around his finger, "Slid right in, angel." He praises and you let out a choked gasp and he presses his thumb against your clit.

He drank your moans into his mouth like they were an oasis in the desert, and he’s not sure how he’s lived this long without them. Without you by his side and in his arms. He held you close, refusing to even consider loosening his grip because your body against his was bliss in the highest form. You were his, even if just in this moment, and you would be nobody else’s. Nobody could make him feel the way you do, and he, along with the other men that resided in the building, were determined to hold the same monopoly over your emotions. He refused to entertain the idea of anyone beyond this building making you feel anything close to what he was now as he pushed a second finger in, relishing in the strangled moan you gave as you babbled about feeling full.

With the excitement of his dream girl dripping against his hand and your own hand working expertly on his dick, Jimin could feel himself getting close and you could tell from the breathy whines he gave you as he began thrusting his hips in time with his fingers inside you, "Cum for me, Jiminie." You purred before licking at his tongue and he came beautifully with his eyes screwed shut and mouth open as you swiveled your hips agains his, now two, fingers.

"Baby, so good." He whined as his high settled down. He shifted all focus to you and your impending orgasm as he watched you fuck yourself onto his hand, "Feeling good, darling?" He asked teasingly and you nodded dumbly, lips pressed together as you felt your high approach, "I can feel you clenching around my fingers, fuck, you gonna cum in my hand all pretty?" He cooed and you nodded as he met your thrusts, making you clutch onto him harder.

"Can I cum?" You whimpered and Jimin could almost feel himself get hard again at how willing you were to give him the reigns.

"Because you asked so sweetly, of course my love." He let the name slip before you both could even acknowledge it consciously. However, the closeness and the intimacy of it all sent you over the edge and you bit down on his shoulder in attempt to hide how loud you were. He held you close, not minding one bit at the mark you were surely leaving as he fucked you through your orgasm, "Felt good, angel?" He mused and you tucked your face into his neck as you nodded, holding him close as his finger stilled but kept you full until he felt you relax.

You both giggled as you met eyes, licking the other person's cum off of your hands, "Thank you Jiminie." You hummed cheerily.

"Thank you, bunny." He chided before giving you a kiss, "We all really, really, like you, you know that right?" He asked and noticed your hesitation.

"Sure, but people can be sexually attracted to me and not want to… be with me." You spoke wistfully, "People can like me and not want to be with me." You let out a humorless laugh, "And few things make me feel as dumb as getting my hopes up for no reason." Although you had a tendency to do it time and time again.

"Don't be scared to assume we want you as much as you, hopefully, want us." He spoke quickly before he planted another kiss on you and the affection made you smile.

"You realize the irony of the statement coming from you, right?" You chuckled as he helped you stand on shaky legs before just carrying you, "I cum once for you and all of sudden you know everything and are all confident." You chided, unsure how to process his words yet, mind hazy from your orgasm.

"What can I say? You opened my third eye." He joked and you rolled your eyes before leaning your head on his shoulder, enjoying his embrace, the idea of your housemates loving you back seeming just slightly less like an outlandish fantasy, "Although, it will wear off and then we'll have to do it all over again." He sighed dramatically and you giggled.

"What a shame." You fake gasped, "I hate engaging in sexual relations with hot guys." You complained sarcastically.

"So you do think I'm hot!" Jimin cheered triumphantly.

You laughed against him and realized the only times you felt so free were with your beloved housemates. You wondered if they felt the same. You also found a more insecure part wondering for how long they would feel that way. How long would it be until a girl, or several, much prettier than you or less needy catches their attention. You wondered if you could take the pain of watching the sincerity drain from their eyes just as you've seen in your mom, your dad, your uncle, your first relationship to your last. You wondered what it was about you that made it so easy to be left behind.

Jimin's phone pinged, ripping you from your melancholic thoughts. He sighed, pulling it out and you fought the urge to see if it was another person vying for his romantic attention. He didn't belong to you, even if you wanted him to, "Ah, Namjoon wants to know if you want the demo for the new zombie game he's working on and Jin wants to know if you'd like your first pick of the new stickers he got, and Hoseok wants to try a new hairstyle on you and ah, they all sent me something to ask you…. Gosh, they all think I'm your secretary when we're together." He whined and you held onto him tighter with a light laugh as he went through everyone's inquiries for you.

You also found yourself how you went on this long without them and how you could even consider hesitating if they asked you to stay with them for much longer.

Tip Jar

#yandere bts #bts au #bts fanfic #bts smut #jimin smut #park jimin #yandere jimin #yandere bts smut #yandere smut #the household bts

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tr-ashbin · 3 years

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𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐲 || 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫!𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐦𝐚 𝐱 𝐠𝐧!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝕥𝕪𝕡𝕖 : one-shot

𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕣𝕖 : slight angst if u squint (update theres no angst i just didnt know what to put here)

𝕤𝕪𝕟𝕠𝕡𝕤𝕚𝕤 : soft boy kenma streaming on twitch for money, but doesn't want to be a soft boy anymore, he wants to be yours. definitely not based off wilbur's unreleased song—

𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 : kinda sugar daddy/mommy/glucose guardian y/n (aka capitalist y/n), mentions of ahegao, cringe

kenma was streaming, again.

he was in his 3rd year of highschool and was in short of money, thus he began streaming as a past time with the support of his volleyball teammates and his few friends.

one of them being y/n, who was born in a rich family and is one of his top subscribers and donors.

you'd be thinking, if kenma needed money that much, why couldn't he just ask y/n for it?

tuition isn't that cheap, and he didn't want to be in debt with y/n's family once he was much older.

despite y/n's constant offers, he still said no, and started off his twitch career earlier than intended.

don't get him wrong, it was his dream to make it big on twitch.

.. just not this way.

he figured that being one of those "soft boys" who do certain things for his viewers for money would get him some cash— and quite surprisingly, it worked.

it wasn't his first choice, obviously. he didn't want to be seen as your typical uwu soft boi.

but unfortunately, that's the only way to get money sometimes. it even helped that he had longer hair than most boys because some of his viewers mistook him to be a girl.

"ah, thank you liz for the twenty-five gifted subs."

he said in a quite monotone voice.

kenma was happy, he was getting more money obviously.

he was just tired of it already. he wanted to do something else for a change, but he knew he probably wouldn't get anything out of it.

as the stream went on, he proceeded to do some mail unboxing videos since he had received some while on stream. why not show the viewers? they might multiply if he did.

not only that, but a certain someone decided to call him while in the middle of it.

"oh..? hey, y/n, what's up?"

the stream chat instantly knew that the y/n on call was the same y/n who donated the most money and gifted the most subs to him.

"hey, kenma." y/n said, "have you opened my gift yet? i sent it through the p.o. box."

".. you're watching my stream?"

"of course i'm watching your stream, how else am i supposed to give you money if you wouldn't take it any other way?"

they were right, kenma wouldn't accept money unless donated to him through his streams.

kenma put y/n on speaker, and placed his phone near enough to the mic so they could be heard.

"say hi to the stream, y/n."

"heyoo!"

the chat knew y/n for their many donos and subs. and when you say many, it's many.

ask any of kenma's average of 2.4k viewers, at least every one of them was gifted a tier 1 sub by glucose guardian y/n.

now aside from that, kenma and y/n talked while he opened the gifts he'd receive from fans, figuiring that he'd open the one from y/n last (mostly becaude they told him to).

kenma received a lot of things. things his viewers would want him to wear on stream, decorations for his room, some even sent him cash through mail along with a personal message.

eventually, they had reached y/n's gift, which kenma reluctantly opened.

his eyes widened at the sight, taking his time to process what he had just received, and then deadpanning at the camera.

y/n felt the chills go through the screen, but just laughed it off.

"you like your gift, kenma?"

".. it's a fucking ahegao hoodie."

"it's a work of art!"

"oh my god.."

kenma rolled his eyes at the camera and looked away, putting the hoodie where the stream couldn't see. he wouldn't want to get banned from twitch now, would he?

while doing that, he noticed something else in the box, under where the hoodie was placed.

"are these.."

"wear them, kenma."

"i'm not wearing the cat ears—"

suddenly, a donation appeared on screen.

from y/n.

"y/n donated $100! wear the cat ears, kenma." said the text to speech.

"what the fuck, you donated too? how much money do you even have, y/n?"

"not important, now wear the cat ears, please."

kenma sighed and wore the cat ears.

"happy?"

"kinda, but go off."

he removed the cat ears, then placed them somewhere near the hoodie.

"well, i guess that's the end for today's stream everyone. thanks for all the donos and subs, say bye to the stream y/n."

"byebye!"

"the broadcast you were watching has ended." message was displayed on y/n's monitor.

the call hadn't ended yet, though.

"why are you so nice, y/n?"

the sudden question shook them up.

".. what? i'm nice?" y/n chuckled, not knowing whether they should take it as a compliment or not.

"to me, you are."

"wow, thanks."

"but, really, don't you have better things to spend all that money on?"

"nah, not really. besides, you need the money, don't you?"

"i do, but–"

"then i don't see a problem with giving you so much money."

kenma paused, genuinely not knowing how to take that. was it romantic? platonic? was it really just y/n being nice?

he didn't know, he really didn't.

the next few days were the same for kenma.

wake up, go to school, practice, go home, stream, then sleep.

kenma's thoughts, unlike his routine, were messy as hell.

spiraling around his place as vice-captain, then his twitch career, then his studies.

again, messy as hell.

but what really shook him was y/n. still confused as to how they were so generous despite only getting closer when kenma had started his twitch channel.

did y/n only support him just for the satisfaction of seeing him looking really feminine? or did they really want to support him financially because he refused help from them before? he clearly couldn't tell.

what he could tell, was that he didn't like his current situation.

the money and fame, it was nice, but he knew that wasn't what he wanted to be known for.

being some random soft boy who would do anything for some cash? not really a good image to his name.

if he had to be honest, the only reason he continued to be one was because of them, y/n.

though he didn't know why.

a month had past, kenma's streams had become less frequent as he and y/n have been meeting up during his designated time for streaming.

what was once daily 7pm sessions of kenma doing soft boy shit in front of the camera for around 2.8k viewers for an hour straight became y/n treating him to after practice arcade hangouts.

fortunately enough, he enjoyed them. being content with the quality time he was spending with y/n alone, and not on his twitch livestream with thousands of strangers watching.

not ever missing a day without spending at least half an hour with them, kenma had stopped streaming.

figuring that he had collected enough money for him to live on a side job while he studies, one where he could take breaks and talk to y/n without worrying much about anything else.

he was happy. he finally knew what he wanted.

he didn't want to be a soft boy anymore, he wanted to be theirs.

a/n: hi hi hello writing tips would very much be appreciated for ash here does not know how to end stories properly 😄

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blackvelvetwriteson · 4 years

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𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐘: 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏

( ~ Sero Hanta x Gender Neutral Reader Insert ~ )

GENRE: Smut || NSFW

FANDOM: Boku No Hero Academia (My Hero Academia)

TRIGGER WARNINGS: SMUT! Oral (Sero receiving; Reader-Chan giving), face fucking, mention of asphyxiation, dacryphilia, brief talks of bondage, humiliation, and slight voyeurism.

SUMMARY: Sero Hanta is your CEO of Intelligence Distribution (pretty much) and Reader-Chan (you) are his secretary. He catches you lusting after him and decides he needs to punish you for it.

Author’s Note: HEY! I tried to implement the headcanon that Sero is hispanic because it’s a very common one and one of my FAVORITE HCs for our underrated baby Sero, so I added in some spanish as well. While I’m hispanic descent, I’m not fluent in spanish so I sort of went off of translations from friends and what I learned for myself from family. Also, my device is absolute shit at picking up accent marks so if there are some tildes on some n’s and not others, I REALLY apologize! Thank you!

WORD COUNT: 3323

(Headers are mine, but the art inside of them are not! Please don’t steal or repost without credit!)

He was fairly laid back as the CEO of Business and Intelligence. Since he didn’t necessarily have a quirk that anybody’d want in battle, he still took on hero work, but his main job was climbing the top of the food chain in Intel and informational trading and that’s exactly what he did. He was the biggest name of the company both for being fairly charismatic but also being a fair leader and his hero work on the field particularly in search and rescue missions. He had a bit of a twang when he got mad, but he rarely got mad so nobody ever really heard it. There was really no doubt about it that he was attractive; he was hella attractive at that. Especially in his trademark black suit with sleek shoes that was all brought together by the golden trimmings found throughout his outfit. He had a smile that could kill, very keen dark brown eyes, his soft hair often slicked back against his head— and word around the building was that he was considering an undercut style. He also had piercings, however he only wore his outer lobe bands when he wasn’t on duty, and he was complete with a tattoo of roses that rose up his neck just a little and was a sort of bicep sleeve. There was really no doubt that he was the best, and he knew it too even if he chose to stay humble.

And him being humble- paired with his amazing good looks- is exactly what you loved about him. He was literally perfect to you. There was only one issue; he hadn’t really noticed you until recent years.

Let’s take it back for a little, shall we?

The two of you had been in the same class for awhile; since elementary school at least. You were always in his class and he watched him grow up right before your eyes. There wasn’t a time in your life that you hadn’t loved him in all honesty. The way that he was always so selfless, the way that he was intelligent, and quiet, and oh so handsome at all times. You’d been friends for a year and then you both fell off to acquaintances and then eventually your contact had diminished. You’d even went to UA together and that was the first time you’d been separated. While he got into Class 1A, you were stuck in General Studies and befriended by both Kaminari and Kirishima who often made their special appearances in the complex. It was through them that Sero rediscovered you and even when he asked for your name and it broke your heart, he bought a small bracelet the next day to sort of apologize. You often have lunch with him and the group, linger back after meetings, and even exchange short texts. You both worked on projects with each other all of the time and whenever business leave was scheduled, it was you who went with him.

That’s exactly how you worked your way into being Sero’s secretary. And you’d started to regret it.

Now, it wasn’t that he was bad to you or anything, actually it was quite the opposite. He was way too good to you, and sometimes you felt as if this was a joke or some sort of dream. You had to see that magnetic smile every single day directed at other people instead of you, you had to listen to him flirt sometimes to get his way, embracing others in those strong arms of his, sit in on presentations in which he makes eye contact with the others just a little longer than yours. You were jealous, and there’s really no denying it, and anybody that didn’t have smoke in their eyes could see it too. Even when he was just sitting there doing work you couldn’t help but to waste away your minutes, hours, days- any amount of time before you were caught- to just stare at him and muse over him.

Of course today was no different, your thighs pressed together as you nibble on your lip, your face and the tips of your ears practically on fire as you let your mind wander. You wondered how it’d feel if you were his, his meaty fingers shoved in your mouth as he pulled you closer and made you his, or if you heard him say “I love you” in that smoky tone of his, or if you were allowed so close to him that the sweet scent of his cologne overwhelmed you. You thought about what’d it’d be like to tangle your fingers with his hair and straddle his lap, grinding on top of him in his office chair, or if you unbuttoned his shirt and got to marvel at that tattoo of his. You hadn’t caught yourself whimpering as you grinded into your seat, trying to squeeze your thighs together more to get more friction, your eyes glistening as you drooled and bit at the end of your pen. He was watching, and so was Kirishima and Kaminari. The two visitors looked at each other with wide eyes and Kaminari had tried to get your attention by snapping and whistling a little, waiting until Sero was looking away to toss a pen in your direction but it was no luck. Sero’s face carried a bit of a blush to it, Kirishima and Kaminari actually worried about you and how Sero would react.

“Please touch me there,” you whisper out to your fantasy as you gripped the desk and rutted into your chair a little more, a soft squeak leaving you as you slap a hand over your mouth. Your whole body trembled as you practically came in your seat, one hand trailing over your sex from over the clothes, pressing and pulling, your eyes tearing up practically as your fantasy was about to come to a close. You whine softly and it happens finally. You cum and your back arches as you let out a soft moan into your hand, moaning out your boss’s name, setting your head down trying to bring yourself down from your high afterwards without noticing how much attraction you’d drawn to yourself as you quivered in your seat.

“Escucha, por favor,” Sero said quietly dismissing both Kirishima and Kaminari and they quickly left the area while Sero walked over to your desk and gently tapped it with his fingers. “Y/N. A word please,” he said in the most respectful of tones, his eyes though fiery were calm even despite you relieving yourself in front of guests. You look up and him and your mind’s haze instantly clear and within seconds you were on your feet, your cum running down your leg as you whine softly. His strong hand takes your wrist and he practically drags you into his office, closing the blinds and closing his door, pushing you flush into the door after it was closed. You heard his heart beating in his chest as his cool breath hit your ear, his hands on the door beside your waist as he reprimanded you, and of course you forgot entirely to tell him about Kaminari and Kirishima’s presentation that was supposed to happen in 10 odd minutes. You were too dazed to even think too hard about it as you felt Sero’s warmth against you. You looked down and then up again to meet his gaze, his stern gaze meeting your eyes, his eyebrows knit, his breath even and shallow.

“You know you’re the top worker in this… Esteemed company, right, Y/N?” He spoke softly with a sharp edge to it as his eyes narrowed out a little. “The way that I’m berating you,” he said as he looked down at your legs pressing together trying to stand upright. “This isn’t a punishment for you, is it,” he said softly as he tilted your head up, biting his lip as he shook his head a little. “Since you like to be… Humiliated.. Talked down to like this… I’ll give you a treat then, hm?” He let go of your hand and he walked over to his chair, sitting in it with a soft groan, his eyes closing as he leaned back completely. He remained like this for a few minutes before he looked over at you.

“Is my schedule cleared for the day, carino,” he asked with a sweet smile, his voice husky and low as he looked you over. As you observed, you noticed his bulge growing against his tight slacks, but he still kept that sweet innocent smile as he looked you over with a pretty glint in those dark eyes of his.

“U-Um… W-Well Ei and K-Kaminari have a p-presentation for you in about… T-Ten or so minutes,” you stutter out as you play with the fabric of your pants. He raised his eyebrow and let out a soft groan before closing his eyes again, his hands folded neatly over his stomach as he shook his head slowly.

“So you’ve known about this presentation… And you wait until 10 odd minutes beforehand to tell me about it? How unprofessional of my little secretary,” he said, a hint of mock disappointment in his voice. You looked at him wide-eyed and before you could even speak, he held his hand up and he smirked a little with a soft breathy condescending laugh. “Since you were so lusty for me at your desk just a few… Short moments ago, I reckon you won’t have an issue with praising me until your friends come in to give me their presentation,” he drawled out in that voice of his with a shudder running down his spine. As If you were in a trance, you walked over to him and were on your knees in less than a minute, his eyes opening halfway to lazily look down at you, a soft smirk carrying his lips as he gazed at you unbuckling his belt, just the sound of the metal clinking against each other making him harder. Then, your skilled fingers worked at his button and the zipper until you were gazing at your clothed prize. You watched his bulge twitch in his pants before you reached for his cock and he swiftly took your chin in his hands and looked up at you, zipping his pants up with his free hand.

“Ay corazón,” he said softly as he stroked your jawline with his thumb. “There’s no need to move so fast,” he whispered softly. “Don’t make me use my tape on you,” he said with another condescending chuckle melting in your ears. You whine quietly and nod as you gently kiss against his bulge with your hands behind your back, your teeth gently nipping at the cloth over the prize you wanted so badly. He leaned his head back and a soft moan left his lips as he spread his legs even more for you, his eyes rolling back lazily in his head. “Joder que se sienta tan bien (fuck, that feels so good),” he moaned out in a quiet whisper under his breath as he felt precum leaking from his tip as he whined quietly. “With your teeth,” he breathed out softly as his chest started to heave and fall, his eyes pressed closed. “U-Unzip my pants with your teeth,” he moaned out softly with a soft shuddery groan, one of his hands moving to your head, pressing your face against his bulge, his hips trembling as he fought back the urge not to buck his hips into your face. You continue to kiss and nibble against his bulge, practically drooling over his pants with a soft groan.

You gently make it to the zipper of his pants and the sound of your teeth hitting the metal making him shudder in his seat. You try to pull the zipper down and it slides out of your mouth and then you try again, your face pressing into his bulge making him jolt and tilt his head back, you whining quietly as the zipper slipped out of your mouth again.

“Está bien, mi amor. Lo estás haciendo muy bien (It's okay my love. You're doing just fine),” he breathed out shakily as he pet the back of your head and pulled you into him more. “Just try again,” he whispered softly. “You’re okay, there’s no rush,” he said quietly as you took the zipper in your mouth again and you wait for a moment with glassy eyes. “Wait,” he said softly. “Go slow,” he said softly as you slowly pulled the zipper down with your teeth. “That’s right, carino,” he whispered quietly as he felt his cock’s restraints loosening, one of his legs trembling a little as he ached his back some. “F-Fuck,” he whined softly as he closed his eyes and gently massaged the back of your head. “Baby,” he whined softly as you finally unzipped his pants all the way, his legs fighting being put together as he let out a low sharp breath. “No hands… Don’t use your hands,” he said softly as he moved his hand down in front of your face to pull his cock out of his slacks with a soft groan. “I gave you a little help,” he murmured quietly. “Now worship it,” he said softly as his tone grew more needy.

You did as instructed, your eyes looking up at him as he tilted his head back, your tongue taking small laps at the base of his cock. He trembled as he gently ran his hand behind your head, his hips gyrating slowly as you whine and kissed his balls. He whined and he trembled as he ran one of his hands over his collarbone and he shook his head slowly. “T-This is a m-much better I-investment of c-company t-time, carino,” he said softly as a louder moan left him, his eyes peering down at you as you took his balls in his mouth and massaged them with your tongue, his eyes fluttering and fighting to stay open as he whimpered softly. He tried not to get too loud because of the other work and activity going on in the complex.

“Oh, Dios mío (Oh my God),” he moaned out quietly as you licked and kissed your way to his tip glistening with precum, his eyes widening as you sucked his tip in your mouth, his legs trembling, his moan getting trapped in his throat as he pushed your head down on his cock. You started to gag a little and he felt your throat constricting around his cock again, his hand gripping at your hair as he forced his whole cock in your mouth, your eyes tearing up as you gagged, choked, and continued to moan around his cock, tears brimming your waterline though you tried to stop them from streaming down your cheeks.

“¡Oh Dios mío, oh Dios mío, oh Dios mío, joder, joder, joder! Chúpalo así... Dios, se siente tan bien (Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, fuck, fuck, fuck! Suck it just like that- God it feels so good),” he moaned out loudly as he bucked his hips into your face trying to edge himself, but since it’d been so long since he was able to cum, he was already close, his body practically convulsing in his office chair as he moaned out and he lost control of his body and his volume, thrusting hard into your mouth as you whine out and rest your hands on his knees, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you whine out, not too choked to where you had to tap out, but choked enough to have you wheezing and sucking down his cock nicely, your fingers coming up to massage his balls as he tried not to cum, his hand still keeping you choked on his cock as the other scratched at his arm chair his moans and choked gasps filling the room louder.

“C-Cum-“ he choked out as he shook his head. “C-Cumming! I-I’m c-cumming,” he whined out, his abs clenching as he dealt hard thrusts into your mouth, his eyes wide as tears brimmed his eyes, his cock practically balls deep in your mouth as the door swung open, Kirishima and Kaminari standing in the doorway as Sero filled your mouth with his sticky seed, his eyes finally letting those sweet tears escape as you whined around the base of his cock, gagging and choking, wheezing as he trembled in his seat, Spanish praises and curses mixing what the moans that spilled from his mouth.

“C-Chúpalo así. ¡Me estoy corriendo! ¡Me estás haciendo correrte tan jodidamente duro! ¡Oh, D-Dios mío, lo e-estás haciendo tan j-jodidamente b-bien! ¡Estoy sacudiendo el carino, c-cógeme, cógeme! E-Eres mío, toda mío… ¡Propiedad de la c-compañío! (Suck it down just like that. I'm cumming! You're making me cum so fucking hard! Oh my god you're doing so fucking good! I-I'm shaking baby fuck me, fuck me! You're mine, all mine... C-Company property!)” He whined out as your mouth was filled with his cum, his body tensing up before he let your head go and he leaned against the office chair trying to come down from his intense high, his cheeks reddened and dampened with his tears of satisfaction, some of his hair that was slicked back now in his face as it should be, his toes curled, his fingers buried into the arm of the chair, his legs trembling as he bit his lip. You slowly take his cock from your mouth and into your hands, your eyes glazed over as you stared up at your boss with absolute love and adoration in your eyes, how rough but caring he was with you, how beautiful he looked in this moment, that sexy voice of his, how pretty he looked with his cheeks tear stained just like yours. He looked down at you, his breaths hollow and shaky as he gently took your chin in his strong slender hand, his thumb stroking your cheek and jawline as he sniffed and flashed that pretty smile at you.

“Open wide,” he whispered softly as he tilted his head a little. “Let papi see how much he filled that sweet mouth of yours,” he said softly in that deep voice of his. You did as told and opened your mouth, his cum mixed with your saliva painted your mouth white, the thick serum spilling out of your mouth and down your chin. He gently stuck his fingers in your mouth, scooped out a little cum, and sucked his fingers clean with a soft hum. Your eyes widened as you watched him, Kirishima and Kaminari’s faces red, jaws dropped, and eyes bugged as they stared at the scene before them. Sero knew they were there but he didn’t care, and you tried your hardest not to look at the two to spare yourself a little bit of the humiliation that you were already feeling.

“Good job,” Sero said with a sly smirk, not caring that cum was dripping down your face and into your lap, not caring that his cock was out for them to see, his eyes glistening with mischievous thoughts, his thumb gently smearing the cum and saliva over your lips. You whine softly and grab his wrist, then he lets out a small laugh as he blushes a little and licks his lip. “A promising future in the company you hold indeed,” he said before looking at your best friends and nodding at them. “Buenas tardes (good afternoon),” he said as he let your chin go as a devious smirk played at his lips. “I heard there was a presentation for me? Why don’t we get started, hm,” He said as he looked down at you and he furrowed his eyebrows a little. “As for you, cariño…. We aren’t done yet.”

#black velvet x bnha #Reader x bnha #bnha x you #ceo au #ceo life #ceo sero #sero x reader #bnha sero #sero hanta #sero lemon #sero x you #alterate universe x bnha #hanta sero x reader #hanta x reader #sero hanta smut

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cuinnamonbun · 3 years

Note

I really love ur headcanon about Hijabi Mc with the brothers! I really love it cuz there is no one writing about us in any fandom =(

I was thinking would u do the (un)datebale characters with Hijabi Mc if u can ? =3

If u don’t want then u can ignore the ask 🖤

Hello there, angel! I assume you meant the chaotic Hijabi MC headcanon that I wrote, so I hope you enjoyed these xx

she/her pronouns!!

The (Un)Dateable Characters' + Luke’s Reactions to a Hijabi MC That Looks Extremely Pious and Quiet but is Actually a Chaotic Mess

Diavolo

As future king of the Devildom that wishes to strengthen the relations between the three realms, prejudice and discrimination against the human exchange students’ choice of religion is a HUGE no-no

Diavolo would not mind the fact that she is wearing a symbol of her devotion to God on her head, but he would be so intrigued by this human at first meeting

Not about her religion, of course, he is well aware of all the religions in the world; Abrahamic religion being the one he is most familiar with (obvi)

What excited him was the fact that this human was so. friggin. hilarious.

He’s not even sure if this human is doing it on purpose because something would happen that would catch her off guard and she would just say?? the most random shit???

Like say, she got jumped by Mammon and her response to that would be a monotone scream and a “sTOP i could’ve dropped my croissant!” but she was actually genuinely startled

He’d be so fascinated like wow! Go girl, give us nothing!!

He would invite her over for tea so many times just so she could explain slang to him

Diavolo: Tell me MC, what is the meaning of DILF?

Due to personal reasons, MC will now be passing away

He would abuse the usage of slang everywhere and he would be so excited to finally understand what Leviathan is talking about

Lucifer: Diavolo, we must talk about the student council budget

Diavolo: That wasn’t very cash money of you

Lucifer: ....excuse me?

Diavolo: Periodt okurrr slay queen

MC has to go hide to avoid being slaughtered like a sacrificial lamb by Lucifer

Diavolo would be also be curious and impressed at the intricate planning of each and every one of her pranks

Like sure, it may be annoying to be the one at the receiving end of it, but understanding the details behind it?? All the logic, physics and patience put into it just to ensure a flawless delivery??? Absolutely stunning

MC has him mesmerised

He would absolutely want to learn the art of pranking from her

Honestly, at this point it’s no longer the human exchange student and the Devil King, it’s now the mentor and the mentee

Lucifer has to demand MC to stop teaching him these things for the sake of his sanity because it’s taking him away from his royal duties that’s keeping the Devildom from falling apart

They still meet up in secret though screw you, Lucifer

Barbatos

This is another demon whom would not mind the fact that their chosen exchange student is a Muslim

Lord Diavolo’s reputation hangs on this exchange program going extremely well, he would not let simple prejudices put a smear on that

He has prepared himself well to receive people from different walks of life just so he can provide all students a comfortable stay during their term in the Devildom

But wait...what is that human doing?

Oh...this poor man

Not only does he have to keep that ginormous labyrinth of a castle spotless and immaculate at all times and ensure that every event being hosted by the castle is going perfectly without a hitch, but he also has to take care of an overgrown man-child that is also known as the future king of the Devildom

Now, he has to make sure this...mess of a human doesn’t go stir up trouble anywhere?

Barbatos is a calm and collected man, but he’s still a demon; virtues aren’t exactly something they practice

He would need to down three cups of melancholy coffee and squeeze a stress ball whenever he catches MC in her antics whether it is alone or with someone in tow

Somehow he’s the only one whom MC would find almost impossible to prank

Like she managed to catch Lucifer off guard once (that was her proudest achievement) but BARBATOS???? yeah, it’s like he has a pair of eyes on the back of his head or something

MC: *tries to sneak up on him*

Barbatos, not even turning back: Enough of that now, MC, come enjoy this tea I’ve made

Pranking Barbatos will become her number one mission during her entire term in the Devildom

Barbatos would be really amused and impressed at the lengths she would go through just to see that shocked look on his face

Why, it might even be—dare he say—endearing

Though MC will cause this man stress and grey hairs, Barbatos couldn’t help but appreciate her company every time she came around

When she’s not up to her daily shenanigans, she would simply opt to help Barbatos out with some of the chores or preparing the treats for a tea party with the student council members and the exchange program, even though he’s mentioned that she should do no such thing

But knowing that this girl is constantly energetic and restless, Barbs agreed to let her help since he would not want to deal with her breaking some priceless antiques or getting herself in trouble with Devildom law again

She helps to remind him that it’s okay to be laidback once in a while and that he doesn’t need to be so uptight all the time

These two have an unusual friendship but it’s only good vibes all around ^^

Before she leaves the Devildom though, he would pretend that she actually managed to startle him with her last grand prank and the look on her face was worth his reputation taking a slight hit

He totally has a soft spot for her

Solomon

OOOOH THESE TWO

THESE TWO ARE THE EMBODIMENT OF CHAOS ITSELF

Solomon and MC would be the best of friends man

The minute this shady sorcerer laid his eyes on her, he KNEW...this would be his new BFF

They would wreak so much havoc together that they give Lucifer a migraine the size of Lord Diavolo’s castle because they’re rUiNiNG tHe iNtEgRiTy oF tHE eXcHanGe pRoGrAm

Psh, as if that’d stop them

Honestly, it was like they each have one braincell that cancels each other out every time they get together

Lucifer: You two better have an explanation for this

MC: We have three actually.

Solomon: Pick your favourite

Lucifer hates it whenever they get together and he would always try to prevent them from meeting up

But his wits are no match for the power of their friendship!!

Solomon would defff try to persuade MC to get more pacts with other demons

Solomon: C’monnnn MC, we could be powerful! :c

MC: Bold of you to assume we’re not powerful now, bestie

So we have established that MC loves to pull pranks right?

She would have so many ideas on the top of her head that she would never use because 1) they either defy the laws of physics or 2) she would need magic to pull it off perfectly

So imagine her excitement when she found out Solomon is the greatest human sorcerer

She would 100% reel him in her plans and schemes and NO ONE (except the angels, they have immunity bc they’re babies :] ) would be safe from them

Despite all the fun they would have though, Solomon definitely treasures her as his greatest friend

I imagine life for Solomon would be quite lonely and he appreciates the constant joy and company that MC would provide him

He would definitely fuck a bitch up if someone dares to mess with his bestie 🙄

These two adore each other so much but they would be caught DEAD before they would admit that to each other 🤭

Simeon

When they first met, Simeon was so happy to find a person so devoted to God such as MC

He takes it upon himself to become MC’s guardian angel around the Devildom

He would helicopter them for a while and would (reluctantly) back off if MC finds it a bit suffocating

(don’t be mean MC, he just cares about u alot that’s all :( )

This man is capital P patient

I mean, that’s a given with him being an angel and all

But seriously,,, one has to be in awe at how calm and collected he is even when MC would pull pranks that would cause a normal person to wanna punch the living daylights out of her

Eventually she would feel bad and stop pulling these pranks on him though, he’s just too sweet and she can’t take advantage of that </3

They would be really close though (along with Luke) because he would frequently invite her to pray the 5 essential prayers together with Luke or read the Qur’an together and it’s just wholesome vibes all around man 🥺

As angels, him and Luke would have such beautiful recitations of the Qur’an and I can picture MC frequently dropping by Purgatory Hall just to listen to him recite the kalimahs with the perfect tajweed (Non-Muslims if you’d like to hear an example, check out Sheikh Mishary reciting Surah al-Kahf, it’s beautiful man 🥺)

He would frequently invite MC and Luke out for walks too and these three would look so domestic together people often mistake them as a little family (much to the brothers’ chagrin and Simeon’s amusement)

Simeon has such a calming presence that he could even tame a chaotic MC down and have her sit still enough, it will be as if she turned into a completely different person

Lucifer, in his demon form: MC STOP RUNNING AROUND YOU’RE GOING TO FALL AND HURT URSELF

MC, violently shaking like a hamster on crack: U CANT STOP ME LUCI, URE NOT THE BOSS OF-

Simeon: Hello, MC! Would you like to come and have a pleasant chat with me? ^^

MC, as if in a trance: ...anything for you, Beyonce

MC is such a simp for Simeon and honestly, who can blame her?

Luke

Luke was extremely happy when the two of them met

This cutie is a proud servant of God and he loves humans who loves Him as much as he does

So it comes as to no one’s surprise when he attaches himself to MC

This would heighten when MC stepped between him, Beel and Lucifer during that,,,,incident

His favourite time of the day is praying in congregation with MC and Simeon and baking with MC

MC would steer clear from involving Luke in her pranks and/or outright pranking him

He’s just a precious little child okay, MC has a soft spot for this angel

She would definitely try to tone down her chaotic energy around him, but she would NOT hesitate to verbal + cyber bully any demons that dare to bully her child

Rando demon: haha shortstack

MC: So you have chosen death

Seriously, Luke would gawk at the obscenities coming from MC’s mouth

He would have to physically drag her away before the demons could devour them both

He would be absolutely SHOOKETH at the language she used because she has been nothing but sweet and polite to him. It was like she switched into a whole different person right in front of his eyes

Luke: MC! I knew living with those horrid demons is a bad idea! They’ve corrupted you now!! *crying Luke noises*

MC: Lil buddy, I was born this way

He would definitely feel really touched that MC is so protective of him though, but he would have to tell her to never say those words again, even if she’s trying to protect him

She would (hesitantly) tell him she would try her best but that would literally only last for half a day because another demon has foolishly decided to mess with him with her present

MC is Luke’s mother point blank period.

#obey me! shall we date?#obey me!#obey me hcs #obey me scenarios #obey me x mc #obey me x muslim!mc #muslim!mc #diavolo obey me #barbatos obey me #solomon obey me #simeon obey me #luke obey me #diavolo x mc obey me #barbatos x mc obey me #solomon x mc obey me #simeon x mc obey me

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bettsfic · 3 years

Text

march pinned: ending the sex project

in the march edition of my lowkey writing-related newsletter, in addition to my writing-related post roundup and upcoming consultation availability, i have personal essay recommendations and a segment on the definition of a project!

for more information on my creative coaching services, check out my carrd.

if you want to receive my lowkey writing-related newsletter directly, you can subscribe here.

full newsletter below the cut, or you can read it here.

fuck february, amiright?

i thought january was bad. but february. february was the stuff of nightmares. my cousin passed away from covid (you can read about her here; she was really an amazing person and i feel so lucky to have known her). i was finally formally diagnosed with PCOS (bittersweet, i guess). my car broke down. i took two (2) days off and it took me two and a half weeks to get caught up again. i can only hope march treats us all a little more gently.

the good news is, i finished revisions on my short story collection to send to my agent, finished workshop submissions for the semester, and now i can return to my first love, fanfiction. that i am constantly working through original fiction to return to fanfiction has been making me think a lot about the nature of a creative, capital-p Project. so, this month’s BTALA (been thinkin a lot about) is going to inspect the concept of a “project.”

new resource

last month i unveiled a folder of my favorite short stories which i’m pleased to hear several of you have perused and gotten some inspiration from. this month i’ve compiled my favorite personal essays. there are fewer essays than there are short stories because i’ve broken them into two groups: personal and craft. next month i hope to have the craft essays compiled.

i’m always looking for more things to love, so if you have recommendations for your favorite short stories and essays, i’d be happy to hear them!

writing-related posts

how to physically maneuver the revision process

the difference between M and E ratings of fic

resources for worldbuilding (check out the reblogs for more!)

a couple syntax/prose book recs

how to break a long work into chapters

march availability

unfortunately i have to cut my coaching hours down a bit, so i don’t have any openings left in march, but i have some availability in april. if you’re interested in a writing consultation, please fill out this google form!

you can learn more about my services on my carrd.

what i’m into rn

for the past year, i’ve basically been trapped in a 10x10 room, and my health is definitely reflecting that, both mentally (does anyone else feel like they’re living in groundhog day? just, every day being exactly the same except fractionally worse than the day before??) and physically (i reorganized the kitchen and could barely move for two days).

reader, i have discovered something called “walking,” in which i put on real human shoes and go outside. it feels strange, bestial. neighbors wave hello to me. a harrowing experience.

while doing this, this walking, i’ve been listening to the lolita podcast which a friend recommended to me, a ten-episode series that dives into everything lolita: the novel itself, its context, adaptations, greater cultural responses, and — as a sticker on my laptop says — vladimir “russian dreamboat” nabokov. as far as i can tell it seems well-researched and presents the many perspectives of lolita in a fair way. i’m only a few eps in, but i’m entranced so far. highly recommended if you, like me, have a complicated relationship with lolita.

i’ve also found myself mildly addicted to a mobile otome game called obey me, which. look i know it’s like the definition of cringe but it’s also mind-numbingly fun and if i want to spend my minimal free time pretending 7 demon brothers are all vying for my affection then that’s between me and god. it’s a lot of what i loved about WoW: frequent events, bright colors, a daily to do list of simple but satisfying tasks, many many rewards, and it doesn’t take itself very seriously. and if i have 4k fic written of mammon/reader that’s nobody’s business but mine and my longsuffering ao3 subscribers.

i’m telling you this because i don’t know anyone else who plays it and am desperate to trade headcanons. so if you play, or start playing, hit me up!! i will give u mad tips and daily AP.

been thinkin a lot about

the project. the project. even the word “project.” PROject (noun). proJECT (verb). what is the project? “project” comes from the latin pro and jacare which means “to throw forward,” or projectum which means “something prominent.” a projector throws forward an image. to project onto something means to throw your perspective onto something else. to embark on a project is to make something prominent in your life. the concept of “the projects” comes from public housing projects, the government throwing forward affordable housing.

what is the project? in joseph harris’ essay “coming to terms” he says that “to define the project of a writer is…to push beyond his text, to hazard a view about not only what someone has said but also what he was trying to accomplish by saying it.” harris’ perspective is that of an english teacher encouraging his students to read critically, not just to summarize a text but to find its project, its greater purpose. and while i first read this essay in a seminar on composition pedagogy, it stuck with me as a writer. it made me reconsider the greater nature of the creative project.

how many of us, if asked to describe our writing project, would begin with a plot or character premise, the nuts and bolts of a specific story? maybe even the working title? but i wonder, is breaking out the plot really the project? is the discipline of sitting down and typing really the project? and when the story is finished, is the project over? what is the project?

in 2019, i wrote 86k words of a novel. i began revising that novel last fall, and i’m finding that i’ll probably keep maybe less than 10k of that initial draft. i’m not bothered by that. the novel i wrote before that started at 125k, then i rewrote the entire thing to 200k, then i whittled it back down to 160k, and next i’ll be tasked with paring it back down to 80k. i’m not bothered by that either. in the past five years or so i’ve written about 2 million words, and i’ve only published 20k of them. only 1% of what i’ve written, i’ve published. in the words of lauren cooper (catherine tate), i’m not bothered.

i used to see publication as the birth of the project, and writing it akin to a long gestation period. then i saw publication as the death of the project, and its life was lived in its drafting. now, publication seems irrelevant to the project. the confines of a story and its many revisions are also irrelevant to the project. the beginning of a story is not the start of the project and the end of the story is not the end of the project. the project is larger than the story, its revisions, its publication, and its eventual readership.

i think it took me so long to see this because for so many years i was still in my first project, the sex project, an exploration of trauma and sexual identity, which began in 2014 with destiel fanfiction, endured through many fandom shifts, my MFA, years adrift as an adjunct, all the way through 2020 with the completion of my short story collection. i used to wonder how anyone could write about anything other than sex. to me it was the only topic worth my attention. i was certain that i would spend my entire life being a sex writer and i’d never find fulfillment writing a young adult sci fi adventure or a highly literary novel about complicated family dynamics. i was baffled by people who were interested in other things, who could write entire novels without using the word “cock” even once.

then my sex project ended. i don’t know when exactly it happened or why, but suddenly i realized i never wanted to write another artful description of an orgasm or find a tactful euphemism for a vagina ever again (personally i prefer “wet cunt” because not only is it blunt, i find it phonetically pleasing). obviously i’m still writing explicit fanfic but it doesn’t feel the same as it used to. sex feels more sidelined to me, even if it’s still the center and drive of a fic. i no longer get any personal satisfaction from writing it, although i do get satisfaction in sharing the work for readers to enjoy.

it’s like i’ve somehow solved the biggest puzzle of my life. or i guess made peace with my meanest monster, that extremely complicated double-mind of desire that some non-sex-repulsed asexuals feel: you want to feel desire you can’t actually feel so you write it into fiction, to try to understand this thing you can’t have and which society tells you you’re missing, and you don’t even know if you don’t have it, because you still feel desire for affection and intimacy, and maybe even a desire to be desired. and for those of us who are asexual and have c-ptsd, sex you don’t actually want (but don’t know you don’t want, because maybe you’re ambivalent and mildly curious and touch-starved) and an unrelenting drive toward people-pleasing can be a dangerous combination. how can you ever know what consent is if you always put other people’s desires above your own?

maybe i’m alone in this. maybe i’m not. maybe for most people, wanting sex is a light switch: yes i want it, or no i don’t. but for me, i had to write a whole lot of words to figure out things like desire, consent, intimacy, forgiveness, the shape that good love takes. the lengthy theoretical flowchart of “i might be interested in having sex if this and this and this and this and this happens in this exact order and under these exact circumstances.”

it was hard to write something into reality that i have never seen except in pieces, in subtext i clung to with no lexicon to give it shape and meaning. te lawrence in lawrence of arabia. some of tarantino’s early work. the film benny and joon. and weirdly, the star wars prequels (that one’s hard to explain; i’ll spare you). i don’t think the sex project was about coming to terms with my asexuality as much as it was trying to organize my thoughts and feelings by continuously rendering my own experiences within a greater, shinier ideal — like how you sometimes have to unravel the entire skein of yarn to find the loose end, and only then can you get started.

i guess i’m in the infancy of the power project now. i’m moving toward themes of control, infamy, greatness. the exact circumstances in which atrocity occurs. how people rise into leadership and fall from grace. the consequences of success. i don’t know why this project has come to me, or what, if anything, it has to do with me. i’m not famous and have no intention of becoming famous; i don’t have social power or influence, at least not beyond my little corner of fandom, and i’m not interested in having it. and yet, here we are, already hundreds of thousands of words in.

my fics digging for orchids (tgcf) and a standing engagement (the hunger games) deal with the detriments of fame. and even float (breaking bad) to a degree is about the aftermath of being so close to power. my novel cherry pop, loosely based on macbeth, is about an ongoing power exchange between two teenage girls. my other novel, vandal, is about a girl who believes she has magic powers and casts a spell on her neighbor to fall in love with her. and i’m in the very early stages of a novel called groundswell, a cult story i’ve been wanting to write for years. i had no idea why i couldn’t write it until i realized it wasn’t yet my project. i’m not even to the stage of developing characters, let alone a premise or plot. i’m still just building my aesthetic pile (i discuss the aesthetic pile here, as well as vandal in more detail), watching documentaries on cults, reading books, finding inspiration, marking down ideas as they come. it may be years before i’m ready to sit down and write it.

now that i know what the project is, i have more patience with myself. it doesn’t bother me to rewrite a novel from the beginning, or to scrap novels altogether, because the story isn’t the project. the project cannot be diminished by cutting words, sentences, paragraphs, entire chapters. the project does not have a product. the project cannot be published. the project is in the practice, in dragging the impossibly large into clear, acute existence, so you can see it. so you can see the very center of what you thought was an unknowable thing.

#pinned #lkwrnl

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passionate-reply · 3 years

Video

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This week on Great Albums: how the heck have I gone this long without a deep dive on Ultravox?! I mean, I named “Passionate Reply” after one of their songs, for crying out loud! Find out what makes *Quartet* my very favourite of their albums. Transcript below the break!

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, I’m finally getting around to talking about one of my all-time favourite bands: it’s Ultravox, and their 1982 album Quartet. Quartet was the sixth album to be released under the Ultravox name, and the third to feature their best-known lineup, fronted by Midge Ure. While the band’s classic lineup would never match the impact of 1980’s “Vienna,” they enjoyed fairly consistent mainstream success through the mid-80s. Their preceding LP, Rage In Eden, produced only two singles, but both were well-received.

Music: “The Thin Wall”

While none of the four classic lineup LPs are what I’d consider skippable, I do think Quartet is the strongest of them overall, as an album. Vienna has great highlights, but feels like a varied patchwork of different ideas. Quartet, though, is probably their most cohesive work, both musically and thematically--in addition to boasting some of the most iconic singles of their career, like “Hymn”:

Music: “Hymn”

The sweeping grandeur of “Hymn,” and the way Ure’s powerhouse vocals propel the insistent urgency of its pleading hook, make it a very easy track to fall in love with, and it’s easy to see why it was a hit. We can read its lyrics as an earnest request for a just reward from God, or the vain wish of a crass and selfish believer who wants what God is too good to give, or perhaps the struggle of someone who wants God to make the world right, but knows there is no God listening...or, more darkly, that the God listening isn’t benevolent enough to fix things. Given that “Hymn”’s music video portrays each member of the band making a deal with the devil and being consigned to Hell for it, at least some level of irony is probably intentional. It could be argued that Quartet is a concept album about music itself, and the choice of the very meta title of “Hymn” for this track makes it fit in nicely alongside tracks like “Serenade” and “The Song.”

Music: “The Song”

A memorable closing track if there ever was one, “The Song” is perhaps the clearest representation of the motif of music as a dangerous, but irresistibly beguiling force, that draws us in against our will and does with us whatever it wants. The emphasis on rhythm really sells that idea here, seeing as rhythm is far and away the element of music we are most likely to react to involuntarily--tapping our feet, swaying in time. Quartet is the Ultravox album where their percussionist, Warren Cann, really gets a chance to shine. While Cann had a background in playing traditional rock drums, he also fully embraced the potential of mechanical percussion, and the allure of hypnotically perfect rhythm. Rather than seeing it in opposition to his practice, Cann would go on to combine elements of both live drumming and electronic percussion on many Ultravox tracks. Cann also delivers some backing vocals, in his deep, Canadian-accented voice, on the track “We Came to Dance”:

Music: “We Came to Dance”

The dark and slinky “We Came to Dance” would prove to be a successful single for Ultravox, though the single version would omit Cann’s spoken part in that bridge. But lest you think every track on Quartet is entirely percussion-propelled, look no further than the single that preceded it, “Visions In Blue”:

Music: “Visions In Blue”

With its tinkling piano, tense moments of silence, and one of Midge Ure’s more dramatic and virtuosic performances on lead vocal, “Visions In Blue” is a slice of baroque pop that bears a strong resemblance to “Vienna,” Ultravox’s original smash hit. Overall, Quartet has a bit less rock and roll to it than much of Ultravox’s other work, and particularly when compared to the heavier guitar solos of their preceding album Rage In Eden. That said, there are still several tracks here that are more guitar-driven, such as “Mine For Life” and “When the Scream Subsides.”

Music: “When the Scream Subsides”

The cover art for Quartet was designed by the famed Peter Saville, who would work with Ultravox for several of their best-known releases. Saville was inspired by renderings of architecture, and the four traditional views or angles from which a building is shown on plans or blueprints. From left to right, the cover of Quartet presents an imaginary building from each of those angles.

Given the more overt riffs on Cubism and Surrealism found on some of the single sleeve designs from the same period, I’m tempted to think the ghostly, empty architecture portrayed in the “metaphysical paintings” of Giorgio de Chirico may have also been an inspiration here.

The title of Quartet also suits the fact that at this point in their career, Ultravox were, indeed, a four-person band. While somewhat prosaic in that sense, I like that it calls attention, once again, to that theme of “music about music” that I mentioned earlier. While a lot of rock bands are comprised of four players, the term “quartet” is more strongly associated with classical and jazz, and I think those connotations enliven the baroque touches of tracks like “Visions In Blue.”

After Quartet, Ultravox would release one last album with their classic lineup, 1984’s Lament. Like Quartet, Lament would stick to a more cohesive theme--as its title implies, it’s a fairly morose and despondent album, with more gothic themes than their prior work. Lament was also a hit for them, with the single “Dancing With Tears In My Eyes” becoming one of their best-known and best-loved tracks.

Music: “Dancing With Tears In My Eyes”

Lament was the last album to feature Warren Cann, who was dismissed over creative tensions during recording sessions for their 1986 follow-up, U-Vox, shattering the classic lineup that had brought them so much success. While Cann’s absence is far from the only thing wrong with U-Vox, I do think it played a significant part in the album’s poor reception, which would eventually lead to the abandonment of the Ultravox name altogether.

My favourite track from Quartet is “Cut & Run.” While I like it mainly for its thin synth blasts in the beginning and those delightfully 80s breath samples, it’s also one of the most sinister compositions anywhere in the Ultravox catalogue. “Cut & Run” basically glorifies suicide, in a pretty straightforward manner, portraying the act as “something spiteful and true.” To contemporary ears, it’s truly almost shockingly taboo, and I can’t imagine any artist getting away with it nowadays--especially not when placed alongside “Hymn,” and the demonic themes of its music video. Ultravox basically did substantially more than Judas Priest ever did to encourage devil worship and suicide, but I suppose their foppish synth band aesthetic let them off the hook? Listen for yourself, and see what you think. That’s all for today--thanks for listening.

Music: “Cut & Run”

#music #great albums #album review #album reviews #ultravox #new wave

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imaginesfora3 · 4 years

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[1/2] i've always wanted to req smth w/ kazu and him being an art kid but held back bUT NOW THAT U MENTION MY BEST BOY. may i request kazu getting little sketches/mini-art pieces but like,, there's no name written down as to who sent it. basically they're like,, anonymous love letters but instead of words there's just drawings. occasionally there's a phrase or a sentence on it but that's the most he gets so he tries to find the mystery sender

[2/2] bc he’s super flattered + wants to get to know the person behind the lovely art!! so he eventually does find the sender which turns out to be one of his classmates (reader)! i’ll leave the ending/his reactions to you, as well as the type of writing (hc/drabble/etc)! thank you sm in advance 🥺

Miyoshi Kazunari:

Kazunari loves the mystery behind the little pieces of art that are left for him to find, even addressed to him with his name written in handwriting that he can almost recognize. He doesn’t know what to do with them at first but he likes to display them in his room, telling anyone who asks that they come from a secret admirer (his dorm mates are skeptical, but he insists he didn’t make them himself).

He really starts to look forward to receiving these little gifts every day but he starts to snoop around, asking his growing list of acquaintances if they know the art style or if they’d seen anyone leaving them around for him to find. Since most of his investigations come up blank he considered actually leaving it alone, but when you give him a piece of art that makes his heart jump in his chest he knew he had to find you. Even if you didn’t want something romantic in nature with him, he could only see the benefits of forming a close relationship with a fellow artist.

Kazunari isn’t the stealthy and quiet type but this day he was, hidden in the area where you’d normally leave the sketches or paintings for him. He jumps out and scares you half to death, catching the canvas you’d been carrying before it hit the floor. He begs you not to run away from him, wanting nothing more than to talk before he launches into a long rant gushing about how your art made him feel an array of emotions that he could only hope to inspire with his own paintings.

He gives you his number without a moment of hesitation, telling you to DM him some time so he can get some creative advice. A friendship begins where two fellow artists exchange tips and tricks to their art, sending sketches back and forth with both criticism and praise. In such a short amount of time, Kazunari begins to realize you’re the only person he tended to reply to immediately, wanting to hear what you had to say and trying to learn even more about you.

Kazunari wasn’t as shallow or stupid as some people liked to think he was, so he knew from the very beginning that he was going to fall for you and he was falling faster than intended. He’d been working on a painting for awhile, an original one, hoping that it could properly display his feelings for you. If you didn’t see it and understand what he was saying then he had failed as a man and an artist.

The painting and colors are a mixture of your style and his, a beautiful blending of two talents that he hoped got his point across. He’s nervous as he leaves the painting for you to find, texting you that he’d left you a gift before silencing his phone, wondering if he would even be able to emotionally handle your response. He checks back, again and again, almost giving up after a solid hour of silence from your part before you sent him a text asking to meet up.

He could actually cry from relief at the happy smile you show him, telling him that this was without a doubt your new favorite piece of art (that you’d be displaying in your room since it had scribbled on the back ‘for your eyes only’). Instead of crying, though, he shows his gratitude for all the joy you’d brought to his life by bringing you into a tight hug, thanking you for being who you were and showing him the power of being himself.

#Miyoshi Kazunari #Miyoshi Kazunari x Reader #Kazunari Miyoshi #A3 #A3!#A3 Imagines #A3 x Reader #Act! Addict! Actors!#Kazunari Miyoshi x Reader

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pangzi · 4 years

Text

Otome gay [Nielan] - Chapter 3

word count: 2416 other chapters: INTRO - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 [AO3]

The meeting with Xichen had only fueled Mingjue’s obsession with the game. He might not have played the game after returning home on Monday, but on Tuesday he was back on it. He played the game all week, but didn’t get any further. He kept getting the neutral ending. At one point he thought he was going to get the negative one, but then once again got the neutral ending. He was getting quite desperate, to be honest. And he was also slightly embarrassed by the amount of time he spent playing this game. Only taking breaks to eat, do the necessary exercises for his foot and work out as much as he could without putting too much pressure on his leg.

With any other character, he probably would’ve given up a long time ago. But, as Huaisang had said, this was a special character. Maybe it also had something to do with how he thought of Xichen’s every time this character smiled, and it made him feel a certain way. But Mingjue wasn’t ready to admit that to himself, he had only met the man once for god’s sake!

It was Thursday evening now and Mingjue has had enough! He had tried absolutely everything! He couldn't handle one more glimpse of the annoying dancer boy nor could he handle Xichen telling him he’s an amazing friend once again. Mingjue was done trying to figure it out himself! He grabbed his phone and called his brother.

“Dage! To what do I owe this pleasure?” Huaisang chirped as soon as he picked up the phone.

“Huaisang”, Mingjue said sternly, “Why can’t I date Xichen?”

Huaisang was quiet for a moment. “Ehh, because you haven’t asked him out?”

“Ask him out? I haven’t gotten the option to ask hi-” Oh… He wasn’t talking about the game. “I meant in the game, you brat!”

Huaisang needed a moment to catch his breath after that, he couldn’t help but laugh at that. “I’m sorry, I had no idea you meant the game”, he giggled, taking a few deep breaths before calming down and answering his brother’s question. “I can’t believe you still haven’t figured it out, dage!”

“Just tell him!” Mingjue heard Wuxian say in the background, but Huaisang only shushed him.

“No, he’ll figure it out! Xichen’s character is just a very special one, remember that!”

Mingjue grunted in reply. He should’ve known he’d get nothing from this, his brother just loved to torture him!

“Now that I’ve got you on the phone anyway, I have a favour to ask, dage!”

Mingjue sighed, he knew that tone. He could almost hear his brother pout through the phone. “What is it?”

“You know that art class I follow, right? Well, the model they hired for this week’s classes kind of quit and now I have to find another model-”

“Why do you have to find someone new?” Mingjue asked. “Isn’t that your teacher’s job?”

“Because it was his fault!” Wuxian yelled from the background.

“It wasn’t!” Huaisang snapped back. “It was your brother’s fault!”

“Because you were flirting with him!”

“I was not! I just told him he was handsome, he started flirting with me. I would’ve kindly told him off had Jiang Cheng not immediately swooped in!”

Mingjue had no idea what was going on and he didn’t feel like figuring it out to be honest…

“Anyway,” Huaisang went on, “The classes are focused on drawing the male body and muscles right now, and who is more muscular and manly than my brother?”

“You want me to model?” Mingjue wasn’t prudish about showing his body, but standing half naked in front of a group of strangers for a few hours was something else.

“Please, dage! For me? It’s only for an hour,” Huaisang whined, “It’s such a good art class, I wouldn’t want to disappoint the teacher, he’s amazing and always so kind!”

Mingjue sighed, he really needed to get immune to that tone. “All right, all right, but only this once. Let me know when and where and I’ll see if I can be there”

“You’re the best! I’ll text you the details!” Huaisang said before quickly saying goodbye and ending the phone call so his brother couldn’t change his mind. Only a few minutes later Mingjue received a message with the details. It was tomorrow, a few hours after his last doctor’s appointment for his foot, which meant he could drive there, which was good as Mingjue wasn’t sure he could survive another two hours on public transport to get to Huaisang’s university.

Mingjue put the details in his calendar app and then looked at his computer again. No matter how much he wanted to finish this damn game, he had to take a break. He saved and put his computer away, deciding to take a short walk to clear his mind.

The walk did not clear his mind though. His thoughts kept wandering off to the game, to Xichen. He felt so silly. It was just a game, succeeding in the game wouldn’t help him see Xichen again, and even less with actually getting a date with the man. He’d probably laugh at him, if he ever found out. He’d probably think Mingjue is weird or something. There he goes again, assuming he’ll see Xichen again and that Xichen would want to date him. Huaisang had told him about Xichen and Wangji a bit during lunch, everything Mingjue had heard about them only made it more obvious to Mingjue that Lan Xichen was way out of his league, but still, a man can dream right?

After his walk he decided to go to bed early and finally started reading that book that had been laying on his nightstand for weeks now. When his doctor put him on sick leave for a few weeks, Mingjue had planned on reading this book, and multiple others that had been collecting dust since he bought them. However, Monday he’d go back to work and he hadn’t even touched the book because of the stupid otome game.

It was almost weird, walking out of the doctor’s office without a cast. His leg looked ridiculously skinny next to the other and felt incredibly weak. With the right exercise it’d be back to normal in no time, but still it was weird, very weird.

With still a few hours to go before he had to be at the art class, he took his time getting home. He grabbed lunch at his favourite place and then even popped by the gym to see if the place hadn’t burnt down in his absence. Zonghui didn’t allow him to stay long, though, immediately sending him home to enjoy his last few days of freedom after catching up for a bit.

That he had a hard time finding the room the art class was in wasn’t even surprising to Mingjue. He had found the building easily, but the room numbers were so illogical it took him awhile to find the right place.

The door to the room was open but he still knocked softly before walking in. There were only a few people in the room who barely even looked up as he walked in. He stood near the door awkwardly for a while, looking around for someone who could be the teacher. He was just about to ask someone when he heard his name.

“Nie Mingjue, what are you doing in my class?” Mingjue’s heart stopped. He knew that voice.

“Xichen”, Mingjue stammered. “Your class?” He looked at Xichen, who was putting away some paint brushes one by one. He looked even more beautiful than he remembered.

Xichen nodded with a smile. “I guess Huaisang didn’t mention I’m his art teacher?” Mingjue shook his head. “What brings you here?”

Xichen was the teacher. Mingjue was going to lose it, he wasn’t going to sit naked in front of Lan Xichen for an hour just like that? Not that he was opposed to Xichen seeing him naked, he’d rather that happened in a more private situation, maybe after some dates… He wanted to leave right now, maybe yell at his little brother a little bit for not telling him Xichen would be there. But no, he promised Huaisang he’d do this, and not doing this would mean letting both Huaisang and Xichen down. This still meant spending time with Xichen, he hadn’t even expected to ever see the man again and yet, here he was, Mingjue shouldn’t let that go to waste. Maybe afterwards he could even ask Xichen out to dinner, or at least ask for his number.

“Huaisang said he was tasked to find a new model for the class”, Mingjue responded, trying to sound confident. Xichen dropped the last paintbrush as Mingjue said that. He kneeled down to pick it up, staying down a little too long before straightening up again with a soft smile.

“You?” He asked. Mingjue nodded. “All right. You can undress in there” His voice sounded a bit shaky, and Mingjue wasn’t quite sure what to make of that. He made his way towards the room Xichen was pointing at. He opened the door but didn’t go inside.

“Xichen?” He asked, turning around, which seemed to startle the teacher who once again lost his grip on some art supplies. “How naked do you need me?”

Xichen turned around, ears beet red. Some students stifled a laugh at their antics. “Fully naked would be best but if you’re not comfortable with that you can keep your underwear on of course!” Mingjue swallowed thickly, nodded and went into the room to get undressed.

He stood in his underwear for a while, debating whether or not to take it off too. Eventually he decided he wasn’t quite comfortable being naked in front of a group of university students. He didn’t even realise how long he’d been in there until there was a soft knock on the door.

“Mingjue?” Xichen asked, “Is everything all right?”

Mingjue just opened the door in response, which seemed to catch Xichen off guard. He flinched a bit before stepping back. Mingjue just smiled at him awkwardly, waiting for instructions. Xichen just stared at him for a bit before clearing his throat.

“If you would just sit on the chair in the middle of the room, please”, he told Mingjue, voice a bit unsteady, “Try not to move too much, but if you’re uncomfortable of course you can move!” Then he turned around to face his students, telling them what to do and quickly going over what they had discussed last class. His tone was completely different from before, after which Xichen sat down behind an easel himself, right in front of Mingjue, who shifted a bit uncomfortable under the teacher’s gaze. Xichen right in front of him helped him a bit, too, though. He had something to focus on now, looking at him helped Mingjue completely ignore all the students coming up for a closer look. He had some time to really take in Xichen now and man, he was even more beautiful than Mingjue already thought he was.

Both Mingjue and Xichen seemed to be awoken from a trance when a student loudly asked for his teacher’s help. Xichen laughed apologetically as he put his pencil to the side and got up to see what his student wanted to ask him.

“What’s up with mr. Lan today?” Mingjue heard one of the students closest to him ask the person next to them. “He’s never drawn with us, ever, nor have I ever seen him this absent minded and I’ve been in his class for years now.” Their friend didn’t have the chance to reply, as Xichen had made his way towards them, inspecting their drawing and telling them how to improve it. Next, he makes his way up to Mingjue.

“You’re doing wonderful, Mingjue”, he said, “I don’t think we’ve ever had a model as wonderful as you, I must be sure to thank Huaisang”

Mingjue couldn’t help but blush at those words. “I’m sure that’s not true”, he replied.

Xichen shook his head with a smile. “I was raised to never tell a lie” This was how he would die, Mingjue was sure of it, this man was going to make his heart stop for real some day.

The class was over before Mingjue even knew it. In all his looking at Xichen and thinking about Xichen, he had completely forgotten to come up with a way to ask Xichen’s number. As he got dressed he kept thinking of different ways to ask him without being too aggressive about it.

When he came out of the dressing room, he decided to just wing it and see what would happen. Though, when he saw Xichen, all words and thoughts seem to leave him once again. He was back behind his easel, brow furrowed in concentration as he drew. Mingjue was whipped and he realised that that scared him. Never had he felt this way this fast about someone, and he didn’t know what to do about it.

Xichen smiled at him as he saw him, putting the drawing he was working on away in a binder. Mingjue smiled back, checking one last time he wasn’t forgetting anything before making his way towards Xichen.

“Thank you for doing this”, Xichen said.

“There are few things I wouldn’t do for my brother”, Mingjue said, “It was my pleasure” This was his chance, come on Mingjue you can do it!

“The pleasure was completely mine”, Xichen blurted out, slapping his hand in front of his mouth as soon as he said it. “I mean- What I meant to say was that I had hoped to see you again after our first encounter, so it was a nice surprise to have you walk into my classroom”

Xichen had wanted to see him again too. Mingjue’s brain needed a moment to process that information, so he just stared at the man in front of him in silence for a bit before putting himself together, becoming the confident man everyone saw him as.

“As that feeling is mutual, maybe we could see each other again some time?”

Xichen stared at him blankly before bursting into a beaming smile that made Mingjue’s heart beat so hard it might fly out of his chest. “I would love that”, Xichen replied. Mingjue couldn’t believe his luck as they added each other on Wechat before saying goodbye.

#otome gay #nielan #nie mingjue #lan xichen #the untamed #cql #mo dao zu shi #mirf writes #nie mingjue/lan xichen #nmj/lxc

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is0gild · 4 years

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Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 17

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 12,131

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

Day three of Operation Boyfriend But Shh Not Really and so far, so good.

Though the thought of this triple date had my inner recluse curling up into the fetal position, I'd manage to convince myself it actually was a good thing when you really thought about it. One, it gave me more practice for trying to do this whole couply… thing I was trying to do. More practice meant I'd eventually, hopefully be more comfortable with it all, as well as less chance for screw-ups in front of my parents when the dreaded but inevitable weekend with them at last came. Two, we were trying to maintain this image of being boyfriend and girlfriend in front of everyone else at the mall. And boyfriends and girlfriends went on dates. What better way to be seen going on said dates than by going out with other actual couples? And three, we couldn't forget about the person the Duke had hired to tail Anna originally and could quite possibly still be keeping tabs on me now. If they were still out there lurking, it was important that they, even more so than anyone else,see me dating.

It was still kind of weird to think about - that an actual, real life PI or whatever had been surveilling me constantly for who knows how long and I'd had no idea. It felt so surreal. Unreal even. But the Duke was absolutely that crazy and I wouldn't put it past him to still have someone keeping an eye on me, looking for any cracks in the story, any slip-ups or mistakes. I'd have to start paying attention more when I was out and about, see if I could figure out who it was, spot any faces that seemed to always show up everywhere I went.

But then, even if I did identify a likely culprit, I would have absolutely no idea what to do with that information once I had it. Even if I marched right up to them and told them their cover had been blown so they may as well scram, the Duke was just insane enough and rich enough to keep hiring new people to do the job instead.

...jeez, I was really starting to sound paranoid now, wasn't I?

With my luck, it'd turn out the Duke no longer had anyone following me after he'd confronted me in the food court.

Best not to think about it too much, because honestly? It'd get me nowhere.

Sighing, I banished the thoughts from my head as I watched the buildings blur past my window from the backseat of Riku's silver Ford Focus. The three of us were on our way to the restaurant now and Lea, Kairi and Sora were going to meet us there. My hand anxiously smoothed out the creases of my outfit - a dark magenta sheath dress with long sleeves and a hemline at the knees. It had a tastefully low v-neckline and a double layered skirt, the top layer made of a shimmering gossamer material. Nice, but nothing too fancy for our "nothing too fancy" date, to use Kairi's words.

Per Lea's request, I'd also worn his leather jacket. It made sense, after all. Nothing screamed "dating" more than one half of a couple wearing their other half's clothes, so it certainly helped maintain the facade. His boy scent still lingered on it, even though he hadn't worn it in a couple of days now, given it had been in my possession. The smell was somehow both soothing and butterflies-in-the-stomach inducing at the same time. It was an odd mix of emotions, to say the least.

I felt a buzz in the jacket's pocket. Pulling out my phone (gosh, it was so weird having one again after going so many weeks without) I checked my notifications to discover I'd received a text.

Well, speak of the devil.

Still cant believe u didnt lemme come pick u up

Shaking my head with a small snort, I tapped out a reply to Lea.

It just made the most logical sense for me to ride with Riku and Rayne since we were all coming from the same place.

Rayne suddenly cried out happily, drawing my attention to her as she clapped and bounced in the front passenger seat. "Ahh, I'm still just so excited for date night! Good food, great company, hot hubby," she slyly pinched Riku's cheek, which he endured with dignity as he drove. "What more could a girl ask for?"

He chuckled as he shifted the car over into the turn lane. "You make it sound like I never take you out."

"You know that's not what I mean!" she playfully smacked his shoulder. "But with the baby on the way, I don't know how many more of these I'll have! This is one of my last chances to enjoy freedom! Jesus take the fucking wheel, hallelujah!"

I felt my phone vibrate in my hand again and I looked down at it.

I know not this logic u spk of

I felt a tiny smile pulling at my mouth as my thumbs typed.

Don't worry about it. Tis beyond your mortal ken.

"I just hope no one's drinking tonight," Riku snerked as I watched those three dots bounce at the bottom of my screen. "Don't need you dancing on any more tables, thank you very much."

"Your face dances on tables!" Rayne shot back, sticking her tongue out at him.

"That doesn't even make any sense."

"You don't even make any sense!"

Rude. Ill have u know I had half a mind 2 drive ovr n get u NEway, logic b damned

My smile turned a touch wicked.

I'm impressed. That's half a mind more than you usually have.

"Here we are!"

My head shot up as I heard the engine shut down. I hadn't even realized we were in a parking lot. I hadn't even realized the vehicle had stopped moving.

As I looked out my window again, I heard Rayne saying, "Have I mentioned how happy I am we're doing this?"

"You may have said something about that once or twice." I could hear the smile in Riku's low voice.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her leaning over towards him, her hand coming up to run slender fingers through his long, ashen strands. "Yeah, but maybe I should show you."

"Maybe you should…"

And that's when I, being the absolute clueless, blissfully naive little fool that I was, chose to turn and fully look at them, just in time to get a front row seat to their little game of tonsil hockey. I blushed, threw up a hand to block my line of sight and made a tiny noise of disgust in my throat. "Ugh! You know you're not the only people in the car, right?"

Rayne pulled away to smirk back at me. "Well, other people can shoo," she flicked a dismissive hand in my direction before grabbing Riku by his collar and yanking him over for a deeper, more passionate kiss. Ding, ding, round two!

Squeaking, I fumbled with my seatbelt until I heard the click release, threw my car door open, stumbled out and slammed it shut behind me with a huff.

Oi, that was the main drawback to this group date plan. We were going to be around actual couples, and actual couples actually, ahem… snogged. Rayne and Riku were going to be bad enough, but let's not forget Sora and Kairi were along for the ride too and I'd seen firsthand how gross those two could be as well. Mark my word, this night was going to have more than its fair share of uncomfortable moments with those four around, being all besotted and smitten and other such rot. But I would survive this and make it through to the other side. Somehow.

Sweeping my braid forward over one shoulder, I glanced up at the building before me now. It bore a colorful banner over its entrance that read Fuente Del Oro. A local, family-owned Mexican restaurant, or so Rayne had told me. I could already tell this was going to be a very different experience from the types of restaurants my ex used to take me to for our dates. Those restaurants had all been about the look, the prestige… you didn't go to any of those places for the food, you went there to be seen, to give off an air of importance. Those places were… dull. Lifeless. This place before me now, on the other hand, was… nice. Colorful. Vibrant and full of character. Not elegant or frilly, but warm and inviting. And the aromas that I could smell coming from it, even all the way out here? Delicious.

I was actually kind of looking forward to this.

Phone still in my grasp, I looked back down at it and frowned.

No message back from Lea yet.

A giggle suddenly echoed out across the parking lot and my eyes snapped towards the source. It didn't take long to spot Kairi a few vehicles over, squirming and laughing in Sora's arms as he hugged her from behind, blowing raspberries against her neck. They were standing with a very familiar redhead who was leaning against a very familiar black muscle car. Said redhead had pulled his hair back into a ponytail again and was dressed in a snug, black tee with a second shirt on underneath, red and black horizontal stripes running down its full-length sleeves. His slim, dark jeans made his already long legs seem even longer and he was sporting his bright red Converse. He had his phone in hand in front of him, but it wasn't the phone he was looking at. Our eyes met and a grin tugged at one corner of his lips.

Suddenly, whatever boldness that I had felt behind the safety of text on the tiny, glowing screen in the palm of my hand had abandoned me and I felt a small pang of anxiety pierce my chest.

But I rallied.

Alright, Elsa, pep talk time. You can do this. You've been mentally and emotionally preparing for this since yesterday. Let him throw at you whatever fluffy, sappy moves he decides to today, all in the name of pretending to be your boyfriend. You can take it.

Shields raised and at full power, captain!

Inhaling and exhaling slowly, I pocketed my mobile and started making my way over to those three. Probably hearing my footsteps against the asphalt, Kairi and Sora looked over at me as I approached and greeted me with waves. I gave them a shy smile and returned the wave as Lea held his phone up, turning the screen towards me and showing the last message I'd sent him as he tsked, "Brutal. You wound me, madame."

I stopped a few feet away from him, my smile twitching wider. "You like it."

"True. What can I say, I've always been a bit of a masochist," he hummed a low chuckle, slipping his phone into the back pocket of his pants. His head tipped to one side and he stared at me for another second, then his eyes crinkled as he stretched a hand out towards me with a soft, "C'mere."

I bit my bottom lip, hesitating for a heartbeat before moving another step forward to take his offered hand.

"Lookit you," he whistled, closing his fingers around mine and leading me into a little twirl. "Digging the look." He then gently pulled me against him, drawing my arms up to hug his neck before slipping his hands beneath the jacket to wrap around my waist, enveloping me in his cinnamon scent. "Didn't get a chance to say it the other day, but my jacket suits you."

I rolled my eyes up at him, doing my best to be impervious to our sudden closeness. I wasn't succeeding. "Not really. It's too big."

"Yes really," he insisted, bowing his head slightly towards mine. "It looks way better on you than it ever did on me."

"Where's Riku and Rayne?" Sora interjected and I turned my head to look at him.

"They-" my words tripped over my tongue as Lea pressed a tender kiss to my temple.

Critical hit, captain! Shields down to thirty percent, but holding!

Ignoring the heat rushing to my face, I did my best to regather my scattered thoughts. "They, uh… they're back in the, uh… the…" Drat, what was the word again? "...car! They're back in the… the car."

Sora pulled a face. "Swapping spit, no doubt."

"Oh-ho, we'll see about that! C'mon, Sora!" Kairi cackled with an evil gleam in her eye, slipping free of her boyfriend's hold to instead grab his hand and pull him behind her as she ran off towards Riku's car.

"Seriously," Lea spoke up again, his voice hushed as I slowly returned my gaze to his. "Pretty sure I've lost all claim to that jacket. It belongs to you now."

My eyelids drooped. "That's not how that works."

"Sure it is." He rested his forehead against mine and I could feel his thumb rubbing light circles against the fabric of my dress just above my hip. "You don't choose a leather jacket, it chooses you. And trust me, that one has definitely picked you over me."

I gave a soft snort. "I'm giving it back to you after tonight."

"Don't you dare," he chided, his breath warming my lips. "You'll hurt the jacket's feelings."

"Stop anthropomorphizing the jacket." I was fighting a smile now.

"Make me," he murmured, something in his voice causing my insides to do that whole warm, fuzzy, squishy thing.

And the academy award for best leading actor in the role of Elsa's boyfriend goes to this guy right here.

But had to say, I thought he might be overdoing it a bit. I mean, Sora and Kairi weren't even around anymore to hear any of this. And if we were being monitored by someone under my great uncle's payroll, they certainly couldn't hear it either. I suppose Lea just… really liked getting into character?

Clearing my throat, I unclasped my hands from behind his neck and shifted them down to his chest in an attempt to push myself free of his grasp as I whispered, "We, ah… should probably go speak to the hostess now."

However, his hold on me didn't loosen, his arms remaining firmly secured around my waist. He didn't say anything, just continued to grin down at me. His eyes became hooded as they flicked down to my lips now, making my heart skip a beat.

What was he-?

A sudden loud yelp ruptured the air around us.

Rayne.

Followed by an annoyed yell of, "Goddamnit, Sora! Kairi!"

And that would be Riku.

The two delinquents in question blurred past us and towards the restaurant's front doors, whooping and snickering and razzing their tongues back at their victims climbing out of the Ford Focus. "We'll grab us a table!" Sora called quickly at the same time Kairi shouted, "See ya inside!" Then they both disappeared through the entrance with Rayne and Riku hot on their heels.

I heard Lea sigh. Or maybe he didn't. It was so soft that it was fully possible that I imagined it. Then he released me, slipping one hand into mine and jerking a thumb towards the restaurant with a lopsided smile, "Shall we?"

I stared at him, feeling the night air cool my warmed face. Then I gave a tentative nod and let him lead me inside.

The others hadn't made it far past the doors and we stepped in to find Riku doling out Sora's punishment: death by a thousand noogies. Sora was smacking his cousin's arm and trying to wriggle free, but to no avail. Apparently Kairi had gotten off with only a warning for she was standing off to one side with Rayne, both cracking up as they watched the boys. I looked past them, taking in the restaurant. Strings of fairy lights hung from the ceiling intermixed with strings of multi-colored papers, each bearing cutouts depicting various imagery. The walls were painted with murals of fantastical, mythical creatures of various shapes and sizes with wings and prismatic fur, feathers and scales. This place was absolutely beautiful.

Once the roughhousing had finally settled down, we all approached the hostess, an extremely tiny, extremely old lady wearing a name tag that read Coco who seemed far more interested in napping than greeting new customers. However, she woke up long enough to squint at her list and find our reservation before calling over a man to seat us. He led us through the restaurant and to a large booth in one of the back corners, leaving menus, chips and salsa on the table before flashing us a warm, genuine smile and saying he'd be back to take our orders in a minute.

I started shrugging out of the jacket, feeling Lea assist me before folding it over his arm and gesturing towards the booth with bow and a, "Lady's first." Smiling at him, I took a seat and scooched towards the middle. Lea wasn't too far behind, sitting close enough for our knees to bump against one another. He tossed the jacket on the back shelf of the booth before draping his arm across the top of the cushioned seat behind my head. Rayne took the spot to my left with Riku of course beside her, and on the other side of Lea sat Kairi and Sora. The waiter came back after giving us a little time to peruse the menus and he gathered our food requests before dashing off again.

"So Ray," Kairi piped up, popping a heavily salsa-laden chip into her mouth, "how's the preggers-life treating you?"

"Really well," she nodded contentedly, one hand going to her tummy. "The jellybean's happy and healthy so far and I've just started barely showing in the past couple weeks. No weird food cravings yet, thank god, but those are supposed to be right around the corner."

Sora leaned forward, propping his chin in both hands and beamed, "Do we know yet if I have a lil nephew or niece on the way?"

"We're cousins, Sora. Nephews and nieces would only be if we were brothers," Riku corrected with a wry curve to his lips.

"We don't know yet," Rayne shook her head, "but I'm about four months along now, so hoping to find out at our next appointment."

Lea had shifted his hand to dangle down so he could idly twiddle my braid between his fingers. I could also sense his gaze on me, causing a bit of a flutter in the pit of my stomach. Reminding myself he was just playing a part and it wasn't real, I resisted the urge to squirm and instead pretended not to notice, directing all my focus into reaching for a chip to dip into the salsa.

"Well whatever the wee monkey turns out to be, you can bet Auntie Kairi and Unkie Sora will be here to shower it with all the love and kisses!" Kairi cooed.

Riku twitched and frowned. "I just said that isn't how it-"

"Shush, hon, they're just teasing you now," Rayne poked his cheek with a laugh before looking back over at Kairi. "And you? How's the new gig over at Mickey's going? You've been there, what? About a week now?"

"Mm-hm! It's been a lot of fun working the jewelry counter. Oh sure, there's the occasional asshole customer, but turns out I'm really good at killing them with kindness."

Riku kicked Sora's foot under the table, "What about you, ya freeloader? Any prospects yet?"

He shrugged with that big smile he seemed to always have permanently glued to his face. Just looking at it was starting to make my cheeks hurt. "Couple of interviews coming up, so we'll see!"

Smirking, Riku said, "Can't wait to hear how you screw them up this time, knucklehead."

"Hey!"

Kairi turned to look our direction now. "So what's new and exciting with you two, hm? Lea, you just had that big test, right?" Silence was her answer as I went for another chip. "Lea? Hello, earth to... ah-ha, there!" She rocketed up to her feet, slamming one hand down on the table and pointing the other right in Lea's face. "Lost puppy look!"

"Hm, what now?" he jolted, his hand jerking away from my braid to lay across the booth backrest once more. "Lost pup-? Bah, I told you already, there's no lost puppy look. You need to get your eyes checked, princess."

She scoffed, plopping heavily back down into her seat and smugly take a sip of her soda. "Please. You were bad at hiding it when you guys were dating in secret, and you're even worse at it now that it's all out in the open."

"What's the deal there anyhow?" Sora cocked his head at me. "There's all sorts of wild rumors flying around the mall, like that you're runaway royalty from some far off country just living off the lam now."

"What?!" I blanched, gawking in disbelief. Doing my best to recover with a tiny, awkward laugh, I hastily said, "No, nothing quite so, ah… dramatic. My parents, they're… well off, to be sure, but certainly not royalty. And not from so far away either. Just Arendelle, which is only about an hour north of here."

Chewing on her straw, Kairi eagerly leaned in closer, "I'd love to hear the story of how you two met!"

I stiffened.

Fudge.

Welp, add that to my ever growing list of things I should have thought about in advance but failed miserably to do so. I fiddled a chip between my fingers as I tucked in my bottom lip. Shoot, what was I supposed to tell her? It's not like I'd gotten any better at lying in the past few days since my visit with Father. In fact, I'd been mostly skirting by since then by dodging questions and letting people fill in the blanks for themselves so I didn't have to. Heart thudding in my chest, I opened my mouth, not quite fully sure yet what was going to come out.

"Last summer," Lea was quicker. "In another city."

"Oh, during that big cross-country road trip you took?" Rayne asked him as she leaned into her husband who slung an arm around her shoulders.

Lea tapped his own nose, "That'd be the one, Raindrop."

Kairi gasped, "You two met in a foreign city? How romantic! That's the dream!"

"You have to leave the country in order for it to be a foreign city," Riku shook his head.

"Cram it, you knew what I meant!"

"It was like one of those scenes straight outta a movie," Lea planted an elbow on the table, rubbing a curled finger over his smirk as he watched me out of the corner of his eye. "There I was, just strolling along minding my own business, smack dab in the middle of a jam-packed city street. But then the crowd parted and there she stood. The most gorgeous creature to ever walk the face of this or any other planet in all the cosmos."

Cue my face turning all new shades of red never before witnessed in the history of human eyesight.

Jeez, laying it on a bit thick there, Lea, don't you think?

"So whatdja do?" Kairi pressed, eyes bright and on the edge of her seat. "Sweep her off her feet right then and there?"

He snerked, "Shit no, I walked headfirst into a lamppost."

I smothered a grin behind my hand as the rest of the table erupted into laughter. Sora reached over to punch him lightly in the arm, "Smooth, ya stud. What city was this anyway?"

"Corona," I was the one to answer, surprising myself. Suddenly self-conscious with all eyes turning to me, I quietly added, "I was there for part of my vacation last year."

"By yourself?" Rayne quirked a dubious eyebrow at me. She knew this story was as made-up as my current relationship status was. I could only assume she was trying to poke holes in order to help us solidify this little tale that was being spun so we'd be more prepared for the next time we had to tell the lie.

The thing is, the best lies have a grain of truth to them. I really had been in Corona last summer. "No, I was taking the trip with Anna. We were actually staying over in Traverse Town, but had planned to visit Corona for the day to enjoy a festival there, since it was only a short train ride away. However, Anna disappeared with a guy before we could go. I'd really been looking forward to this festival though and didn't want to miss it, so I took the train over on my own."

"Wait," Kairi slapped both hands down in front of her, eyes widening. "Are you talking about that big lantern festival they do every year?" At my nod, she squealed. "Lucky! Punzie has shown me pictures in magazines, it looks so goddamn pretty! Oh man, I've always wanted to go! Hint, hint," she shouldered Sora, who just chuckled and scratched the back of his head.

"It was actually right as they were launching the lanterns that I saw her," Lea said, folding his arms atop the table now. "She was wearing this cute sundress. White with a lil diamond patterned hem. Split sleeves that were all flowy. Hair down and dancing in the slight breeze." Wow, he was really selling this. He'd even nailed that whole far away look in his eye, like he was seeing something the rest of us couldn't. "And the way those lanterns lit up her smile as she watched them float up, I knew my lowly mortal self was in the presence of a goddess. Knocked the wind right outta me."

"As did that lamppost," Rayne sniggered.

"As did that lamppost," he agreed with a chuckle.

Totally enthralled now, Kairi breathed, "So what happened next?"

"Yeah, what did happen next?" I grinned over at him, the barest note of a challenge to my tone. To the others, it probably just sounded like I was teasing him since obviously I was already supposed to know this story. But now I was almost as invested as Kairi and was genuinely curious where he'd go with it next.

The corners of his eyes crinkled as he looked over at me and he leaned back, propping his elbows up on the back rim of the booth and once more slipping an arm behind my head. "Well after the lantern bit was over, I watched her get onto her train heading back to Traverse Town. So I did what any self-respecting, red-blooded, utterly bewitched male would do: I followed her."

"Stalker," Riku singsonged.

His wife smacked his leg, "Hush, it's sweet!"

He snorted, eyelids drooping, "Yeah, so sweet, the dumbass left his car behind in Corona."

"Psssh, I just took the train back for it later," Lea brushed off. "Anyway, when I found her on board, I sat across from her and worked up the nerve to strike up a conversation."

Rayne looked at me. "You? Talk to a handsome stranger on a train?" She squinted, repeating for emphasis, "You?"

"Heh… what can I say? He can be very charming," I smiled down at my drink, swirling the ice with my straw.

"Even with all of my roguish charm and devilish good looks though, it wasn't easy," Lea laughed. His hand had drifted down to start toying with my braid again. "But she warmed up to me eventually. By the time we arrived at Traverse Town, I was completely smitten. A total goner. She still needed more convincing though, so I managed to persuade her into joining me for a night out on the town. Luckily for me, Traverse Town has a very active night life that goes on for hours long after most other cities have gone to sleep."

"Yeah? Like what?" Sora burbled out around a mouth full of chips, making Kairi giggle as she put a hand over his face to hide it.

He pursed his lips to one side, looking up at the ceiling, "Oh, nothing too exciting. Few odds and ends here and there though… wandering around a record store… a café with a palm reader… a street poet at one sidewalk corner, a belly dancer at another, some stargazing in a park…" Now he smirked over at me, "A carnival with a kiss at the top of the ferris wheel."

A mock gasp from Rayne, "Scandal! And you with a fiancé, young lady!"

I looked away, suddenly feeling guilty and flustered over something that hadn't even really happened. "...ferris wheels can be very enchanting."

And my streak of helping the lie along while not actually lying myself successfully continues!

"And then, and then?" Kairi insisted impatiently, just eating this whole bit of fiction right up.

He chuckled and shrugged, "Just mostly a lot of meandering the streets and talking. We were out all night and watched the sunrise together. Eventually, she had to go meet up with her sister so they could move on to another city for the next leg of their lil vay-kay. But I didn't let her leave without agreeing to meet with me again in a few months."

Kairi was slackjaw now as she whispered, "And did she?"

"Mm-hm!" he hummed happily. "And from there, we kept meeting up, our little get-togethers getting longer and more frequent over time."

"Then what?" She was relentless.

A wolfish curl tugged at one side of his mouth. "What else? I slowly seduced her until she fell helpless into my bed, hungry for the pleasure only I could give her," he waggled his eyebrows.

Of course I'd chosen that exact second to be taking a sip of my drink. And of course I promptly spluttered and choked on it. "Excuse me?" I coughed, laughing incredulously as I elbowed him in the gut.

He gave a pained grunt, but grinned and snagged my hand before I could retract it, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. "I mean that in the most gentlemanly and respectful way possible, of course," he winked at me before looking back over at Kairi. "From there, I convinced her to run away from her family and ditch her two-bit, loser fiancé to be with me. And the rest, as they say, is history!"

"Wow!" she sighed dreamily, slumping back and fanning herself. Then she blinked, "Wait…" A gasp. "Oh my god! You swore off dating about a year ago, which was last summer! Was it cuz that's when you two met and it was love at first sight?!"

"Huh. The two certainly seem to line up perfectly, don't they?" he chirped. He'd rested my hand back down onto the table, his on top of mine, threading our fingers together.

Our waiter popped up again just then. "Your food will be just another moment. In the meantime, please allow us to entertain you with some music." He then turned, clapped his hands twice and called out, "Miguel!"

Out charged a boy in his early teens wearing a red hoodie and lugging a guitar that was white, etched in swirly patterns, and nearly as big as he was. He flashed us a smile huge enough to rival one of Sora's and without further preamble, started strumming away and singing. The kid was actually really good too!

Kairi clapped in delight and Rayne cooed over how adorable he was. Sora gaped in awe at the boy's obvious talent while Riku just grinned, digging into the chips. As I watched him perform, I couldn't help but feel Lea's eyes on me once more instead of on our little musician. I shifted in my seat, slipping my hand free of his and bringing it up to tuck some bangs behind my ear, hiding the growing warmth I felt in my cheeks behind my fingers.

At this rate, I didn't know how I was going to survive fake dating this guy for the rest of the evening, let alone for two more weeks.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Lea's hand closed around mine, stopping me in my tracks. I glanced over my shoulder at him, then back towards where Rayne and Riku were climbing into their car across the parking lot. "With them?"

"Ahhhnt," he made a buzzer noise, grinning. "Wrong! Would the contestant care to venture another guess?"

I gave him some side-eye, feeling one corner of my lips turn up. "...with you?"

"Bingo!" He started walking towards his car, gently tugging me along with him. "I was already so rudely denied my god-given right as the boyfriend to pick you up from your place. No way am I missing out on giving you a lift over to the movie theater. Same goes for driving you back home later tonight, so better make your peace with it now. It's happening."

I felt my smile twitch a fraction wider as I fell into step beside him. "I suppose being my chauffeur is quite the honor and privilege. Wouldn't want to take that away from you."

"Glad that's settled then," he gave a chipper nod, unlocking the front passenger door of his vehicle and holding it open for me as I got in. As he then jogged over to the driver's side while I buckled in, there was a loud meep meep of a car horn and I looked up just as a hot pink Jeep blurred past where we were parked - Kairi and Sora, it seemed, going on to the cinema ahead of us. I waved at them just as Lea had settled in himself and started the engine.

"So," I began once we were on the road, resting my temple against my knuckles with my elbow propped on the window sill, still grinning as I watched him out of the corner of my eye, "you took a road trip last summer?"

He gave a low hum of confirmation, reaching over to turn down the volume on the rock oldies station coming through the radio. "Decided to have one last big adventure before I really buckled down and started taking school seriously. Did a lil soul searching, that whole shtick."

"Ah." My gaze focused on the road ahead once more and I hesitated for a second, gnawing on my lower lip. "...that was a nice story you told. About how we met."

Lea chuckled, leaving one hand on the wheel while moving the other to lay atop the headrest of my seat. "Liked it, didja?"

"Oh definitely." Now I hid my growing smile behind my hand, trying to keep a straight face. "Though I have to admit, I think I was a bigger fan of the original movie adaptation."

I watched him visibly stiffen. "The…?"

Tapping a curled finger to my chin, I muttered, "What was the title again? Before Sunrise, I believe?"

He snerked, then broke out into a full laugh. "Crap, ya caught me. Yeah, I may have borrowed from the plot there a tad."

"Just a bit," I shook my head at him. "You're lucky Sora and Kairi haven't seen the film."

"Kinda surprised you have," he turned the car down a road that would take us towards the mall. "Pretty sure it's older than you are."

"Nothing wrong with old movies," I shrugged before wrinkling my nose at him slightly with a tiny smile. "Kind of sappy though. Wouldn't have thought that'd be your kind of movie."

Looking my way, he smirked, "What can I say? I'm a sappy guy. And hey, at least I didn't steal everything from that flick."

"True. The stuff before the train was all you."

"You helped," Lea pointed out as he pulled up to a stop sign. He then tapped his index against the steering wheel a couple times. "...outta curiosity, why'd you say Corona? Out of all the other places you must of visited on your trip, what made you pick that city?"

As the car accelerated once more, I tilted my head in thought. "Don't know really… I guess I just felt it would be a nice place to meet someone new in. That'd it make for a good story." I paused, watching some tail lights streak past us. "...the lantern festival really was beautiful. Have you ever seen it?"

Lea shook his head as he glanced up at the rearview before shifting lanes, "Nah. Had plans to on the road trip, but something else came up."

"A shame," I sighed wistfully. "You missed out."

"Wouldn't say that," he murmured, a warm flicker in his eyes. "'Sides, there's always next time."

"Suppose that's true," I nodded. "Nice touch, by the way, describing the dress I was wearing. I think I might even own one that's pretty close to it." Don't think I'd been wearing it in Corona though. But I couldn't really remember. It had been over a year ago after all.

He laughed again, fingers combing his scalp before returning the hand to my seat, now on a spot next to my ear. "Well, I did help you pack your clothes from your old condo just a couple days ago. I probably saw it then."

"Good point." That made sense. It would have been too much of a coincidence if that'd actually been what I'd had on that day. But now… should I be worried that I hadn't really been in that dress? What if someone found out the mismatch in the story? No… no, that was just me overthinking things again. Even if the tale ever reached the ears of the Duke's goon, it's not like they could go back in time to fact check. "Just one more thing now." My eyes narrowed at him, at odds with my grin. "Might want to edit the ending a bit."

"Which part?" he asked a touch too innocently, already turning us into the Dusk Town Center parking lot. "Running away to be with me? Hasn't that been the story all along?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Try a little before that."

Wouldn't have thought it possible to both purse one's lips and smile at the same time, but Lea proved me wrong in that moment. "Hmm… oh! Well, figured wooing you over the course of months sounded more believable, but if you think it works better as weeks or even days, then-"

"No no. Little after that."

"Well then, now you got me stumped cuz I know you just couldn't possibly be talking about the absolute masterpiece that was the slow seducing, helpless bed falling, pleasure hungry part."

A snort. "Why yes, actually, I could be talking about that and in fact am."

"But that's the best part!" he protested, turning to park in a space right next to a familiar Ford Focus. "It's the heart and soul, the very essence of the story! The pièce de résistance, the crowning glory."

With a good natured scoff, I unfastened my seatbelt as the car shuddered into powering down. "Well decrown it because you're dropping that bit."

He lifted his chin slightly and gave a dignified sniff, "I am a storyteller, El. An arteest. You wouldn't ask Leonardo da Vinci to remove the smile from the Mona Lisa."

Well someone had a high opinion of himself. Which honestly came as zero surprise. I fixed him with a dull stare. "Drop it or your jacket gets a giant, sticky stain before the night is out." And with that, I opened my door.

Lea scrambled out of the car and rushed over to join me on my side just as I slammed the door shut behind me. He had the decency to only spend a couple seconds looking mildly miffed at having been denied the opportunity to open and hold the car door for me before his frown melted into a smile once more. "Jeez, blackmail? Never thought you'd stoop so low. But eh," he shrugged, "jacket's black, it'll be fine."

"You're failing to see the big picture here," I crossed my arms as I waited for Rayne and Riku to get out of their own vehicle. My guess was they were probably going for another round of Seven Minutes in Heaven in there. Smirking at Lea, I elaborated, "Because then I'll wash it."

"Egads," he mocked gasp, splaying a hand against his chest, "the horror."

My smirk curled wickedly. "In a washing machine."

As my roomies finally vacated their car (faces flushed, I might add), Lea actually paled. "But it's dry clean only!"

"That's right," I said smugly and turned to walk away. "So nix that line or the jacket gets it."

"You fight dirty," he muttered as he caught up to me, slipping his hand into mine. However, he was grinning.

Huh. That wasn't what I'd been expecting. IE the face of a man who'd just suffered a crippling defeat by my hands.

I narrowed my eyes up at him. "You certainly seem pretty happy about the impending, inevitable demise of your jacket."

Now the grin was joined by a dimple as we walked. "Well, it's just that in order for you to make good on your threat, you have to take my jacket hostage. Meaning you're gonna hafta keep it after all." His head dipped down closer to mine as he swung our hands slightly. "I count that as a win for me."

...well crud.

Score one for Lea there.

Shrieks and giggles suddenly erupted behind us before Sora tore past us towards the mall's entrance with Kairi riding piggyback. Rayne laughed and tugged Riku into a stumble behind her so they could catch up while Lea and I continued to take our time, bringing up the rear.

We made our way through the food court and over to Cinema XIII. The manager with long, silver hair that I'd seen there last time was present again, off to one side where he was setting up a huge cardboard display for the latest Star Wars movie. I watched him scowl and fiddle with the lifesize lightsaber cutouts as our group purchased tickets from a blonde chick with a weird hairdo that kind of resembled antennae. As we'd approached, I could have sworn I'd seen her boredly cleaning her fingernails with a small knife, but there was no sign of the blade by the time we'd reached her register. Perhaps my eyes had just been playing tricks on me.

Tickets for our whodunit comedy flick in hand, we then moved over to concessions which was being worked by that same teen with the emo haircut that I'd also spotted here a couple weeks ago. He hardly glanced up from the book he was reading as Riku and Rayne ordered snacks and drinks from him, Sora waiting in line behind them with Kairi still latched onto his back.

"Alright, whatcha want? My treat," Lea asked as he watched the flat screens hanging behind the counter scroll flashy ads for crisp, buttery popcorn and fizzing, bubbly soda.

I blinked. "What?" Then I frowned at him. "Oh no, not happening. You already paid for dinner despite my multiple protests. I'm not letting you buy me candy too."

We were only fake dating after all, and I wouldn't even want to make a real boyfriend pay for everything!

"But it's my right as-"

I put my finger to his lips, silencing him as my eyelids drooped. "Enough with playing the boyfriend card already. You're having too much fun with that."

He puckered up and planted a tiny peck on my fingertip, sending a small jolt straight to my heart as I quickly jerked my hand back. He chuckled, "Just tell me what your fave candy is."

"Shouldn't you be able to guess?" I arched an eyebrow, stubbornly ignoring the way the tip of my finger still had a slight tingle. "Isn't that like your special gift or whatever?"

"Only with ice cream," he lightly corrected.

"Right," I crinkled my eyes at him. "How's that coming along again?"

His shoulders bobbed up and down. "It's a process."

"My turn!" Sora suddenly proclaimed loudly in front of us, dropping Kairi off his back and spinning around to get behind her.

His girlfriend gasped, "Sora no!"

"Sora yes!" he cackled, jumping onto her back, arms hugging her shoulders tight and legs wrapping around her waist as her hands automatically shifted to grasp beneath his knees. To her credit, she managed to stand for three whole shaky seconds before collapsing beneath her boyfriend's weight into a tangled heap on the floor with him.

Ah, to be young.

Never mind the fact that I was pretty sure I was only like a year older than them.

With a soft snort through my nose, I glanced back at Lea. "Well, while you keep processing, I'm going to go find our seats."

I turned to go, but he pulled me back with the hold he still had on my hand. "C'mon, just lemme buy ya something small," he insisted as he hopped over the Sora/Kairi knot that was still trying to disentangle itself, forcing me to gingerly step over the two of them as well.

Shaking my head with a sigh, I said, "Why won't you just let it go?"

He beamed. "Cuz what schmoopsie-poo wants, schmoopsie-poo gets."

Oh no he didn't.

"Uh-uh, no. Veto. You are not calling me that," I jabbed a finger into his chest.

There was a sly gleam to his eye. "Tell me what candy you want or I won't stop."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Wanna bet?" he flashed a toothy grin as we stepped up to the counter now that my roommates had stepped off to one side, already munching away at their newly purchased sweets. "You'll think you died and went to schmoopsie-poo heaven."

I gave a small huff and looked away. "Small price to pay. Not budging on this."

"Fine. You've forced my hand." He turned his head to the concession worker, slapping his palm down on the countertop and proudly declaring, "I'll have one of everything, my good man!"

"What?! No, no, stop, he's joking," I hastily told the cashier, who froze mid-ringing the order up as he gave us a flat look with the one blue eye not hidden behind bangs. To Lea, I whispered, "What do you think you're doing?"

He shrugged, grin not faltering. "Figure ya gotta like at least one of 'em."

I stared at him. Then my shoulders slumped and I hung my head, grumbling, "...Junior Mints."

"You heard the lady," he chirped to the theatre employee. "And throw in a small popcorn and large Kupo-Kola too please!"

Once the junk food was acquired and paid for, we moved out of the way to join Riku and Rayne as Sora and Kairi bought their own goodies. While we were waiting, I opened up my candy and reached inside, retrieving a minty, chocolate-coated treat and popping it into my mouth.

"Can I have one?" Lea asked beside me.

I gave him a blank look. Then I glanced down at his hands, otherwise occupied with a full soda cup and a bag practically bursting with popcorn. Digging another Junior Mint out and holding it up between us, my gaze met his once more. "Say ahh."

Face brightening, his lips parted wide.

I inserted it into his nostril.

He blinked a couple times, then snorted which had the byproduct of dislodging the Junior Mint. "Okay, guess maybe I deserved that for being a lil pushy about getting you the candy."

"You most certainly did," I said matter-of-factly, eating another one. A pause while I slowly chewed before swallowing and mumbling, "...but thanks for doing it anyway."

"Heh. Don't mention it."

Kairi and Sora rejoined us then, arms piled high with sugary delights. Jeez, all that on top of the gigantic Mexican dinners they'd both devoured less than an hour ago? One had to wonder how the two of them managed to stay so skinny.

It didn't take long for us to locate our theater and when we entered, all the lights were dimmed for the trailers that had already started to play. We quietly found our seats close to the middle of the auditorium and we settled into them, Lea to the right of me and making up one end of our group while Rayne took up my other side, the rest of the gang to her right. It seemed the cinema had recently renovated with new, barely-used cushiony sofa seating, the kind that reclined.

As I pushed the button that popped out the chair's footrest and made myself more comfortable, I caught a glimpse of the others. Half way through a strand of red licorice, Rayne flinched when Riku was suddenly in her face and chomping down on the other end of the candy. Grinning, he took a few more bites, bringing their lips closer together until he could give her a smooch before pulling away, looking quite pleased with himself as she blushed and snerked, giving his shoulder a light shove. Kairi was tossing Milk Duds towards Sora's open, awaiting mouth and rewarding him with little kisses every time he successfully caught one.

Worrying my lower lip between my teeth, I glanced towards Lea out of the corner of my eye as he crunched away on some popcorn. Should we be acting all… couply right now? Like the others were? I mean, it was a dark theater… did we really need to keep the act up in here too? Would anyone really notice? Then again, I'd noticed our friends being all sickeningly cute and I hadn't even been trying to, my eyes had just wandered. So maybe it wasn't such a stretch to consider the two of us were also possibly being observed, even in here.

My gaze flicked down to the armrest I shared with Lea. It was wide enough for both our arms to lay on it side by side, elbows touching. He wasn't holding my hand at the moment, instead just resting his about an inch away from mine. Which, now that I noticed, actually felt a bit weird, oddly enough. I guess I was starting to get used to it. But perhaps I should look at this as an opportunity for some more practice. An exercise in me being the one for once to initiate a display of affection. I seriously couldn't get away with him being the one to start it all the time, right? Surely, I had to act like I liked him too.

Which, to be fair, I kind of did.

Even if it was a secret.

But now I had to wonder how does one go about, ah… what was the term? ...making a move? I'd never had to do it with my ex. I'd never particularly felt the urge, nor had he ever really encouraged me to have more initiative in that area. He'd always been the one to take charge and that seemed to be the way he'd liked it. It seemed to be what was expected of our relationship, by him, by my family, by the world of upper society that I had lived in for so long. But I was no longer in that world. Things were different here. I was different. And I needed to show that to my parents. And one way I could show that was by doing this.

So then… exactly how do I do this?

...well I suppose I could start by moving my hand in the general direction of his. Seemed simple enough… right?

Gulping and holding my breath, I slowly, oh so very slowly started reaching for his hand. As my fingers crept closer, the pounding in my ribcage grew louder and louder. A hairbreadth away from skin contact, I hesitated, what little courage I'd mustered already dwindling. But after a second, my face hardened. I needed to do this. For the sake of Operation Boyfriend But Shh Not Really. For the sake of a continued future free from my parents' control. With a newfound resolve burning in my chest, I pushed on.

My pinky barely brushed against his knuckle.

Nope! No way. Mm-mm, not happening!

I snatched my hand back, blushing furiously.

The blush of a failure. Pathetic.

However the touch, no matter how light and brief, hadn't gone unnoticed. Lea glanced my way, his head tipping slightly. Then he smiled, shifting his popcorn out of his lap over to his right while moving the soda from the cupholder between us to the one on his other side. Then he lifted the armrest separating us, folding it back between our chairs before slinging an arm around my shoulders and pulling me close so my head was pillowed by his chest.

I tensed for several seconds before relaxing against him, clearing my throat and, if possible, blushing even harder.

Well then.

Guess I no longer needed to worry about us not looking couply.

Even if I hadn't been the one to initiate.

...tomorrow. I would do a better job tomorrow.

As the last of the trailers ended and opening credits for the movie began filling the big screen, Lea ducked his head down next to mine. I could feel him grinning against my ear as he whispered, "This boyfriend model comes equipped with all the latest technology, including hilarious movie commentary. Would you like that feature enabled now?"

I leaned my head back a bit as I turned to look him in the eye. He cocked a playful eyebrow at me. Feeling one corner of my lips tug up, I whispered back, "Commentary on."

"You got it."

I was not disappointed.

"Is this really totally necessary?"

"Oh absolutely. Your uncle's spies could be anywhere, ever vigilant and watching at all times."

"Even here? In the parking lot for my own apartment?" I frowned dubiously.

I could feel him nodding against my hair. "Especially here. I'll have you know I've seen at least three cars pass us already, each one more suspicious and shady than the last."

Date night had been a rousing success, if I did say so myself. We'd had a good time with friends, dinner was amazing and delicious, and the movie had been excellent. But as everyone knows, all good dates (even the fake ones) must come to an end. And at the end of every date, some sort of goodnight ritual is often at the very least customary, if not absolutely essential. Traditionally, this usually takes the form of the infamous goodnight kiss. However, since I'd already taken any sort of liplock completely and one hundred percent off the table, Lea had instead opted for a hug.

One… extremely and uncomfortably long hug.

...okay, that was a lie. It wasn't uncomfortable at all. In fact, was actually quite nice. Pleasant, even. Ten out of ten, would recommend.

We stood next to his car at the moment, my apartment building just a few yards away. After he'd parked and we'd both climbed out, he'd pulled my arms up to wrap around his neck, his hands once again finding their way under the leather jacket to encircle my waist, hugging me close as he'd rested his cheek atop my head. And so we had remained for quite some time now.

Kairi and Sora were no longer with us, having parted ways back at the mall, but I could see Rayne and Riku off to one side near their own vehicle, enthusiastically taking part in some cuddle time themselves while they waited for me. Which actually I really appreciated. Without their added presence here, I'd probably be getting a lot more awkward a lot more quickly about The Hug That Would Not End.

That said…

"We've been at this for at least five minutes now. Wouldn't you call that a bit, er.." I shifted my feet, resisting the urge to squirm, "...excessive?"

His hold on me didn't budge. "Gotta be convincing. 'Sides, we're obviously still in the honeymoon period of our relationship. You know, when the couple takes forever and a day telling each other goodbye a thousand times before actually leaving. Otherwise known as the No-You-Hang-Up-First phase."

My brow furrowed. "I thought that was only made-up for TV. Real people don't actually do that, do they?"

"Yup," I felt another nod. "Trust me, I'm an expert. I know these things."

I squinted off into space. "...haven't you only ever done one night stands?"

"Shush, I said trust me on this," he murmured.

And shush I did. I suppose I could look at this as a sort of… endurance training? Get me more used to his hugs so I'd be less awkward about them in public? Make them seem more natural? Yeah, okay. This might be good for me. Let's see how long I could keep this up.

...answer? Not long.

Tentatively trying to pull away, I began, "Alright, maybe we should-"

"One more minute," he insisted, squeezing me tighter and shifting his head down now to instead nuzzle against my neck. His nose was cold and his breath tickled against my skin, making my cheeks warm. Welp, so much for not squirming.

Huh. He really seemed to be taking this whole pretend boyfriend thing very seriously. This was some extreme dedication to the role.

And there my insides went all over again, doing the whole warm, fuzzy, squishy thing. Alright, just breathe. Deep, calming breaths. Remember: Conceal, don't feel.

...maybe just focus on the concealing part. The not feeling part was already a lost cause.

"Ya know," Rayne's voice suddenly piped up nearby, causing me to jump, "maybe you two don't have to say goodnight just yet." Lea straightened up, loosening his grip on me just enough for us both to turn our heads to see she'd joined us. Gracing us with a sly smirk, she said, "I mean, if you want to really drive this date home for any eyes that might be prying, Lea could always, ya know..." her eyebrows bounced as she leaned in closer to whisper conspiratorially, "stay the night."

"What?!" My face erupted into blistering heat, the likes of which would've put the Sahara Desert to utter shame. "N...No! Absolutely not! How could you possibly even-"

She laughed, her finger booping my nose. "Relax, you silly goose. Of course he'd only sleep on the living room sofa! S'not like your grunkle's minion would have x-ray vision into our home."

Oh.

That's what she'd meant.

Well of course that's what she'd meant. It's not like she'd ever really suggest…

Actually, no, this was Rayne we were talking about here. I honestly wouldn't have put it past her.

She elbowed Lea in the arm, "So whaddya say, stud?"

He smiled, removing one hand from my waist to rub at the nape of his neck. "Well, I'd planned on getting some reading done for my classes tonight. But I do have my book bag in the backseat, so I suppose I could just as easily read here on your couch." His gaze shifted back down to mine, "That is of course, as long as you're okay with it!"

My face still recovering from its abrupt and devastating heatwave, I looked down and muttered, "Well, I… I suppose, ah… sure. Okay. I mean, just to keep up appearances… " My eyes flicked back up towards Rayne, "Thanks. I guess that's… actually a pretty good idea."

"Of course it is! I came up with it!" she beamed, planting her fists on her hips and puffing up her chest. Then she turned back to her husband, pressing her lips to his cheek as she linked her arm in his and led him over to the building entrance. Lea at last fully released me, but only long enough to unlock his car and pull out a messenger bag that looked heavy with textbooks. Kicking the door shut, he slung the strap of the bag over his head to hang across his chest before slipping an arm around my shoulders, grinning down at me as we followed the other two inside.

Once in our apartment, he removed the arm while Rayne pulled some spare pillows and bed sheets from the closet, tossing them onto the longest couch for Lea. Then grabbing a water bottle from the fridge, she unscrewed the cap and held her drink up high. "A toast! To Lea's sleepover! May it be the first of many!" she declared before tossing her head back to chug half the bottle.

Riku just snerked, shaking his head while Lea scratched his cheek with a weak chuckle and walked over to drop his bag on the sofa next to the blankets. I squeezed my eyes shut, pressing my fingers between my eyebrows with a soft sigh. Still, she had a point. I suppose it was only natural for my "boyfriend" to stay the night with some amount of frequency. Oh gosh, I hope this wouldn't be too much of an imposition on Lea.

As Rayne recapped the water bottle and put it down on the kitchen table, Riku stepped up to her, taking both her hands in his and pressing their foreheads together. "Hon, why don't we head to bed early tonight?" he asked, tone low and eyes hooded.

"Mmm," she breathed him in, smiling up at him through lowered lashes and nodding, "sounds good." As he pulled her towards their bedroom, Rayne glanced back at us. "Good night, you two! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" she winked and waved before disappearing through the door, closing it behind her.

Silence followed. It felt strangely sudden and almost deafening.

I slowly turned to look at Lea.

He looked back, giving me a tiny smile.

That's when it struck me.

This was the first time in two full days I'd been alone with Lea. Like, really alone. Not in public, not where we had to put on the boyfriend-girlfriend act. Even when it'd just been the two of us in his car earlier tonight, even then we'd still had kind of been in the relative safety of pretend date mode. Besides, driving around in a car was completely different from being alone with him here, now, in my apartment late at night. Now that there was no more reason for all the hand holding, forehead kisses, and other little touches, things felt… well I wouldn't exactly say wrong per se, but more felt just kind of… off?

Panic was beginning to set in.

My mind was drawing a total blank.

I… didn't know how to be around him now. Not when we didn't have to fake a relationship anymore.

I'd forgotten how to act normal.

I think he could sense it too. The weirdness that had suddenly popped up out of nowhere. His eyebrows knit together, his gaze shifting about for a couple seconds. Then he opened his mouth to say something.

"Good night!" I loudly blurted out first.

Then I was in my bedroom so fast, you would have thought I'd spontaneously developed the power to teleport.

I slammed the door shut behind me, pressing my spine flat to it, eyes wide and taking shallow breaths through my nose. A few seconds passed where I just forced myself to inhale and exhale slowly a few times, trying to calm down. Then I winced, lightly banging the back of my head against the door.

Good job, Elsa. Way to make things mildly awkward. And for no real reason at all, you useless, hermitic dope!

With a small scowl, I shrugged out of the leather jacket and tossed it onto my bed. Then I unzipped my ankle boots, kicking them off and started pacing the length of my room back and forth, my hands twisting at my braid.

I couldn't just leave things like that. I had to talk to him. I had to toughen up and find an excuse to march my butt back out there. But what excuse?

My feet paused mid step as I glanced around my room for a minute before landing on one of my walls. Not just any wall. The one I shared with Riku's and Rayne's bedroom. Then I lightly tapped one fist into my palm. That's it! I quickly moved to my nightstand, opening the top drawer. Amongst its contents was a plastic baggie of earplugs. Digging out a pair and dropping the bag back into the drawer before closing it again, I then stepped over to my door. I took a second to take a deep breath and gather myself, standing up straighter and flicking my braid back behind me. Then with a firm, determined nod, I turned the knob and pulled, walking back out into the living room.

Lea was sitting on the couch that would be doubling for his bed tonight, arms splayed out wide to either side atop its backrest while he read the textbook that laid open in his lap. He'd pulled his hair out of its ponytail so his crimson locks were once again wild and free and he'd taken off his long-sleeved undershirt, now just wearing the tee.

Looking up at me, he all but leapt up to his feet. "El! Hi! I-" he grunted as the book he'd apparently forgotten was in his lap crashed down hard onto his foot.

I sucked in a tiny breath through my teeth with a frown, taking a step forward and reaching a hand out, "You okay?"

"Fine," he groaned. "I didn't need that toe anyway. It was only holding me back. Just dead weight." He laughed it off as he picked the textbook up off the floor, tossing it behind him onto the cushions before crossing his arms, "So, was there, ah… did you forget something?"

"Yes," I took a little step towards him, then frowned, glancing away. "Well, no…" I started to take a step back before catching myself. Wrong way, dork. "That is to say, sort of… er, I just...hm…" I thrust one fist forward, opening it palm facing up to reveal the earplugs, "Here!"

He stared down at them blankly. Then at me.

"Oh!" I gasped. "Right! Some sort of explanation would probably help." I gave a nervous heh. "So… uh… you know, those two," I gestured with my chin towards my roommates' bedroom door, "well, they just… the look they were giving each other before they went to bed, it's… well, it's a look I'm very familiar with from them. You know the look, the kind that should come with its own Marvin Gaye soundtrack. And those two… when they get going, they can really rattle the old headboard, if you know what I mean." A beat. Then I blanched. "Of course you know what I mean! Right, moving on. So uh… they are not quiet about it and they're definitely not quick. And these walls? They're thin. I'm talking like tissue paper thin. And not even the good Kleenex Deluxe kind of tissue, more like the cruddy, two-bit kind you'd get at the dollar store that just disintegrates if you even so much as breathe on it." Great, now I was just plain babbling. "These walls may as well not even be there for all the sound they block. Or rather, don't block. Then again, if they weren't there, then we'd not only hear but also see-" Wrap it up, girl, wrap it up. "A-Anyway! So just… just take these. You'll thank me later, believe me."

His eyes crinkled and he nodded, plucking them from my hand. "Alright, I'll take your word for it. Thanks."

Good. Okay. Yes, this was going well.

...huh. Though… slight hitch in the plan…

What now? I hadn't exactly thought this far ahead.

Maybe this was enough. I could now just make a graceful exit, leaving things in a better place than where I had previously. Yeah, that sounded good.

I gave him a tight-lipped grin, inching backwards as I pointed towards my room. "Okay then, I think I'll just…" But as I turned, my eyes landed on Rayne's and Riku's door again and I froze and grimaced. "Ah, shoot," I hissed under my breath.

"Problem?" I heard Lea ask behind me.

I shook my head, "I meant to ask Rayne to unzip my dress before she went to bed since the zipper is just where I can't reach and-" I blinked, then glanced over my shoulder at him sheepishly before fully turning to face him. "And why am I even telling you this? Forget I said anything. It's nothing, I'll figure it out."

"I can do it," he tossed the ear plugs onto the coffee table between us before stepping around it.

Waving my hands rapidly back and forth in front of me, I said, "No, it's fine. Really, you don't have to-"

"Don't be silly, just let me help you," he came to stop in front of me.

I tucked in my lower lip. Maybe I was just being silly about this. I mean, what was the big deal? Really? "...o-okay," I sighed, turning my back to him once more and sweeping my braid forward over one shoulder, running my hands down its length a few times. At least my old nemesis, The Blush, had the common courtesy to wait until I was no longer looking at Lea before creeping its way up into my cheeks.

I could sense him taking another step closer to me, could hear his gentle breathing as I felt his fingers undo the clasp at the top of the zipper. One of his fingertips incidentally grazed my skin and I couldn't stop a tiny shiver. Then there was a pause. Like… a long pause. I frowned straight ahead, uncertain. Nothing seemed to be happening. I turned my head slightly, stopping just short of actually being able to look back at him. "...everything okay?"

"Uh… yeah, the uh…" he cleared his throat, "...the stupid thing just got stuck for a sec there, but it's all good now." At last, the sound of the dress unzipping reached my ears. "There ya go, you're all set!"

My hand darted to clutch at the back of my dress, holding it together as I whipped around to face him. My blush? Only seemed to be growing in strength. I started backing away, "Th-thanks… for that. That was really… something. Nice! That was nice. Of you. To do that… for me. I-" I crashed into my door frame and stumbled. "Oops. Heh. Who put that there? Um… anyway…"

And on that eloquent and fully formed note, I dashed into my room, banging the door closed. Then I puffed out a breath, slumping down to sit on the floor as I pinched the bridge of my nose.

Great. Just dandy. I hadn't left things mildly awkward this time. Oh no, I'd only left them mega, ultra, super awkward now. Progress! Superb. Just perfect.

That's it. It's decided. I'm not fit for human contact. I was just going to barricade myself in this room and never come out ever again. Ever. Period. The outside world would be better off without me anyhow. Good bye, people. Hello, sweet sweet solitude. I-

I heard a muffled buzz and my head snapped up. It'd come from Lea's jacket on my bed. I squinted at it for a second. Then it clicked. My phone! I half crawled, half scrabbled over to it, digging into the pocket and pulling it out, swiping the screen.

There was a new text from Lea.

2nite was fun

I blinked, looking over at my door. Then back down at my phone, pursing my lips to one side. My thumbs hovered over the keyboard for a second. Then slowly I began to type.

I thought so too.

I waited as those three little dots hopped in a row.

We shud totes do it again sometime

A huff of amusement escaped through my nose, the tension starting to leave my body.

I'd really like that.

Then I tipped my head to one side, grinning slightly as I tapped away further.

I'm paying next time though.

The dots were dancing on my screen again.

Aight, if u insist. But b warned, Im not a cheap date

Now I actually laughed.

I can live with that.

Perhaps I'd been a bit too hasty. Maybe there was no need to barricade myself in here. Not just yet anyway. I'd hold off for a bit.

At least long enough to see what tomorrow would bring.

Author's Note: Anyone else notice Lea's shirts seem to be getting tighter and tighter every new excuse he has to see Elsa out of his work clothes? I think he's subconsciously putting on a courtship display to present himself as a sexually viable mate xD Ahem, moving on… Fun Fact 1: Fuente Del Oro is a real, Coco-themed restaurant over in Disneyland Park in Paris! Google translate says the name means "Gold Fountain", oooOOooo pretty! I really hope Coco makes it into one of the future KH games eventually! Fun Fact 2: Elsa's dress this chapter is inspired by her purple dress from when she sings Into The Unknown in Frozen 2! Just picture it shorter and more cocktail-dressy. And I know in the movie, that purple dress is a nightgown, but shhh, we'll just forget that part. And the dress Lea described in his "how we met" story? Loosely based on Elsa's Show Yourself dress - again just picture it shorter, more practical and more sundressy xD Also if you haven't heard of it, Before Sunrise is a real movie, not to mention a real SAPPY movie. Kind of slow, but cute. I'd actually never heard of it until I started writing this chapter - saw a gif go by on tumblr of the lead couple from the movie doing something adorable that made me go "oh gosh, that's SO Lea and Elsa!" and had to watch it xD I'm kind of happy it came along when it did though, cuz it gave me inspiration for Lea's "how we met" story :)

Next chapter, what new challenges will Elsa face in her adventures in fake dating? Will she ever be able to work up the courage to initiate a display of affection herself? Just how much of a "not a cheap date" is Lea really? What about his shirts? CAN they get any tighter? Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

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sanamonroe · 4 years

Text

Introducing Sana Monroe !

(yes she kept the name you’ll understand why by the end of this possibly)

T H E B A S I C S

NAME : Sana Monroe neé Aydın

BIRTH NAME : Irene von Montgelas

‘AGE’ / ACTUAL : 38 / 36 Years Old

BIRTHDATE : April 28th, 1984

OCCUPATION : Sculptor & Carpenter (Formerly)

MOTHER : Zeynep von Montgelas neé Özdemir

FATHER : Gerard von Montgelas

SIBLINGS : None

SPOUSE : CJ Monroe (Divorced)

CHILDREN : Theo (8) & Lilah (5)

HEIGHT : 5′7″

EYE COLOR : Hazel

HAIR COLOR : Dark Brunette

RECOGNIZABLE FEATURES : Full lips, angular cheekbones and jaw, beauty mark on the right side of her face.

TATTOOS : New phase new bloom [x], CJ, Theo, Lilah [x] (same arm)

B A C K G R O U N D

TW : DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ASSAULT, & IMPLIED SEXUAL ASSAULT

Born and raised in Germany, her given name back then was Irene von Montgelas. Her family was extremely well off as her father was deeply rooted in the countries’ politics, like nearly every von Montgelas patriarch before him. However, despite her father’s public persona he was as corrupt as they come through his parties ties to criminal organizations, not to mention an absolute tyrant at home to his wife and only daughter. Sana grew up terrified of the man, and helpless to do anything to help her mother who got the brunt of it all. And more than anything ashamed that she couldn’t say or try to do more to remedy the situation due to her own fear of his wrath coming down on her in place of her mother, more often than it already did.

Her mother had no rights in their home, no say in any matter and least of all the decisions impacting their daughter, and her future. So when her father promised her hand at merely the age thirteen to the son of a crime lord whom he was in cahoots with to further his own parties agenda, her mother could to do anything about it despite how she might be against it, how she might fear for what the future would hold. From the moment she met her would be fiancee Sana was horrified, despite the fact that he wasn’t that much older than her she found him to be simply cruel and his father was so so much worse, seeing as he seemed to worship at the ground the man walked on she could only image what he would be eventually become. Though their interactions while she was still young were limited, with a lot of that time for her having been spent a private all girls boarding school, when they did interact she felt uneasy as it felt as though he seemed to believe he had some sort of ownership over her. More and more the only thought running through her head was that if she didn’t do something, her life would turn out just like her mother’s.

Things really came to a breaking point when she got that first glimpse of her worst fear, she was seventeen at the time, the engagement planned for just a few months later after she’d turned eighteen, though their ‘coupling’ already somewhat known among their families closest circles. The incident took place after a Christmas celebration where she’d tried her best to avoid Ömer as she typically felt disturbed by his company. He was not happy, and his anger came to a boil after he witnessed her laughing one of her male relatives whom he did not know. He assaulted her that night, dislocating her shoulder, and leaving her with a swelling bruise on her hip. He’d told her than to be glad she didn’t have to wear that shame on her face. She began to plan her escape that night. Receiving her mother’s help for the first time along with a close friend they were able to get perjured documents of a new identity for her. The deep pockets of wealth and opulence of use to her for the first time. She chose the name Sana as it was a simplification of her grandmother’s name who she’d been so close to growing up. And the surname Aydın as it was simple, and very common. All together unassuming. The documentation inflated her age to be two years older than she actually was for more ease, and to further muddle her identity on paper. ‘Stealing’ all her mother’s jewelry and her family heirlooms to pawn off, she left at an opportune time when her father was now home for the night. She had more than enough cash to get her by comfortably for a while, she went place to place aimless really only driven by her fear of being found. Finally she bid farewell to Europe all together.

A couple months later she landed up in Charming, it was a small and unassuming town and she didn’t mind staying in such places longer than bigger cities, her paranoia not having left her still. But still the plan was never to stay long, that was until she met CJ, falling for him was all too easy, he seemed to bring out her true self, the person she had always kept hidden away as she never was meant to be heard but only seem in her old life. Charming grew on her, and for the first time she felt a sense of security. Being new to town she didn’t learn about the presence of MC right away though, though she trusted CJ by then, had seen so many of the members of the MC around town and really they didn’t even come close to how frightening she’d found the men in her old life. In the beginning she considered telling him the truth about her past constantly but the fear hadn’t left her, she became scared each time she tried afraid if she even acknowledged her past she would manifest her demons to return to her present.

In truth Sana very much saw Irene as someone else entirely, she felt more herself as Sana than she ever did trapped and scared as she was all those years as Irene. Soon her new realty overtook her past identity, overtime the fear ceased and she believed that her past was simply a bad nightmare if they hadn’t caught up to her after all this time, there was no way they could find her now. She had no way to predict just how rapidly the world would begin to change, how connected it would become.

Her first couple years in town she worked odd jobs around town, once she’d settled into a comfortable routine and was no longer looking over her shoulder waiting for the other shoe to drop she was able to explore some of the passions she never had the opportunity to before, expressing herself through art became the outlet she needed to truly put her demons to rest. Sculpting was her favorite medium and she ended up slowly making that her occupation, her pieces sold well online, and she slowly began to gain recognition. She also ventured into woodwork around the time they moved into their first house, it stemmed from her desire to create the exact right things she envisioned for their home but simply couldn’t find for purchase or find at a reasonable price.

Sana in those years was beyond happy and in love, though she did often grow troubled when things became increasingly violent among the MC, as tensions increased with the gang Sana worried for CJ’s safety, more so each time he returned home bloody and bruised. The fear of losing him a source of consistent anxiety, as it would mean that she would once again be alone in the world. She understood what the MC meant to him, they were as much her family as his actual family, yet it couldn’t help but feel distressed when the activities he got into with them threatened his wellness. Though it was ultimately not the MC that lead to the undoing of their marriage but her past finally catching up with her.

It was ultimately the recognition she’d gotten from her artwork that lead him to her. A picture taken somewhere probably years ago identifying her in the present, making it’s way someway some how to his countenance. Seen my someone she once knew perhaps, shared perhaps unmaliciously among her old friends, as they recalled the girl they once knew. And had unknowingly damned. And the hurt pride of the man she’d ran away from all those years ago calling for retribution, leading him right to her. Ömer had become everything she’d once feared, a resourceful yet ruthless man with too much power, and only bad intentions. He had her watched, her and everyone she held dear. Allowing him to find the perfect way to reenter her life and cause the most destruction possible. Lilah had only just been born when he made himself known to her blackmailing her with the promise to make things very uncomfortable for her husband and everyone she cared for. She had always been afraid of him, and didn’t doubt any of it. But of course he was as magnanimous as he had been the last time they’d seen one another. The choice was hers she could go willingly, and tear herself away from everyone she loved and suffer, or watch harm come to those around her at his hands.

The choice wasn’t hard, she practically begged him to allow her to sever all ties with them herself, in a way that would be permeant so that CJ would never want to turn back and even think about her. Leveraging the tensions that had already been present in her marriage she further escalated every fight, began to say truly hurtful things. And finally the last nail in the coffin, allowing him to find her in bed with someone he absolutely hated. That did it, they got a divorce and abruptly she gave up all her rights to the kids, citing that she wanted to be free of Charming for good.

Ömer got what he wanted, retribution for the damage she’d done to his pride and reputation by running away, for evading him entirely when they searched for her across the country in the time after. It was a matter of pride, and the fact that he had his own wife and children didn’t deter him from seeing her suffer when he’d finally found her. She’d all but handed herself to him on a silver platter, and she suffered for it of course at his hand and her fathers. Learning finally after all that time what had become of her mother without her, that really did shatter her spirit. But it was the thought of her children that eventually allowed her to find the strength she needed to find away a way to be rid of them for good. She’d known from the start that couldn’t be done in Charming, so leaving her family had been necessary to be rid of her worry of any harm coming to them.

She leveraged the connections she’d had years ago, the children of some of the most powerful people in the country had gone on to became notable themselves as their parents had always intended after all. And not all of them were like her family. The friend who’d helped her all those years ago especially, as she was now working for Interpol. It took over three years but she finally managed to unravel her father’s political ties, and the justice system at the highest levels took care of the rest. Extracting from him many notable names. Finally she knew what it felt like to be truly free, inheriting everything the government didn’t cease being her father’s next of kin she really was free to live her life however she chose to. Though there was no where she’d rather go than home, Charming.

Sana may be at lose as to how to even begin to explain herself, and fully aware that CJ might never forgive her but that hasn’t deterred her from returning. At the very least she would like to be a part of Theo and Lilah’s life, not wanting to ever feel as though their mother didn’t love them, and just abandoned them without ever caring to look back. If she can mend everything else that she broke that would be more than she can ask for.

W A N T E D C O N N E C T I O N S

Best Friend - Someone she befriended upon her arrival to Charming who became as close to her as a sibling, this person is also the only person she confided her truth in a few years into their friendship as she needed to get the burden it off her chest. Though did not even tell them when Ömer found her.

Close Friends - The people she spent time with most frequently around town, those who had an open door in her home, and workshop who she was always available to should they need anything at all.

Old Hired Help / Little Brother Figure - Someone who was in his late teens 7-8 years ago who used to help out with the heavy lifting around her workshop, accompany her to craft/art shows and things when needed. She felt fondly of him like the younger brother she never had almost.

Literally anything, I tend to run out of ideas when I wind down a long intro so just reach out and we can throw around some ideas!

@charmingintro

#❛ ･ﾟ× ( development › sᴀɴᴀ )#charming.intro

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rebelwith0utacause · 4 years

Note

oh you're actually doing the psychoanalysis thing hmm can I ask for one altho. I feel like you know me better than I know myself scqbbff quite scary but 🖤 love it love u xx

Hmph, where do I start?

So, I think that you are very comfortable in the role of being a solitary being, not lonely, but solitary. You look like someone who’s self-sufficient and also someone who always pushes themselves to get the job done despite all odds. That might be partly because you’re stubborn (in a ‘I can get this done by myself, thank you’ kinda way) and partly because you’re a perfectionist overachiever (this can easily be seen in the way you write and all of the emotion you put into it). These aren’t bad traits by any means. In fact, in the world we live in today, where it’s literally ‘survival of the fittest’ day after day, this can be considered as a top-notch skill. I think you might have a higher IQ than normal, or at least ranging in the higher numbers, and you’d probably ace in an academic environment, although your focus is clearly set on fine arts.

Having said all of that, humans are pack animals, and every now and again, the need for contact rears its ugly head. Maybe if we all lived far away from civilization you’d be able to deal with those pesky emotions, but that’s not the case. And the entire battle between ‘I don’t need anyone’ and ‘someone please hug me’ confuses you a lot and makes you feel even worse, especially when you have those ‘someone please hug me’ days.

Your solitary and introverted nature amplifies those feelings even more and makes you think that you’re the only lonely human in the world, and like you’re looking from the outside in. What’s happening, tho, is your time in solitude makes you make sense of your thoughts and feelings more than the average extrovert. This means that you’re more in tune with your mind and heart, and able to process all of those emotions faster. The emotional rollercoaster is like a tornado, moving in a spiral and getting bigger and bigger. This is why you need to let go of some of that burden, to slow down the process.

The same way you’d like to receive some human touch, you should also be able to give (in whichever form you find liberating). You need to open up those compartmentalized emotions and unleash them on the world. There’s always gonna be someone who will listen (*points at herself*) without judgment, so don’t fret about it. You’ll realize that the more often you do it, the less lonely you’ll feel, the more you’ll be able to enjoy solitude and eventually share that solitude with someone else.

#this was horrible #i'm sorry #i might be projecting a bit too as a fellow melancholic :/#don't be mad @ me :/#jbhmalum #asks

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axelroy · 4 years

Text

ʻ / let me introduce you to a prized member of our honors society , axel roy-dreyfus . this cismale cancer has been a student at our institution for seven years and is currently a 21 year old junior. through the halls , he has always reminded me of aron piper , but there is always more than meets the eye , like the fact that he regularly takes acid to inspire his artwork . coral cape has made their future just as bright as their smile , i assure you .ʼ ( muse 17 , riley , 20 , cst , she/her )

pheeeeew as if i couldn’t love aron piper more, s3 of elite rlly did me like that jesus fjdkslgjdsf anyway PLS like this or dm me or discord me idc, i would love to plot with all of u <3333

TWS: drugs, depression, death, car accidents, a really fcking long intro post aha !

if u wanna be extra in the mood when u read this …………… pls feel free to have this audio post playing in the bg while u peruse. i have been crying listening to this all week. thanks for coming 2 my ted talk here is axel now !

NAME — axel roy-dreyfus.

NICKNAMES — axel, ace, a.

PRONOUNS — he/him.

AGE & DOB — 21 & august 10, 1998.

PLACE OF BIRTH — new york city, new york.

NATIONALITY — french-american.

MAJOR — visual studies & psychology.

EDUCATION — cape coral international school.

CLUBS — honors society.

* BACKGROUND OVERVIEW !

axel was born the only child to two loving parents, an american father whose family has run a large media conglomerate for decades ( i got insp from hbo succession ok ), and a french mother whose family has a large hand in the development of nuclear energy in france ! so like ........ $$$$$$

there were probably a hundred timelines in which axel became a spoiled brat, but the universe was fortunate and brought two of the most kind-hearted souls that were ( relatively ) uncorrupted by the power and wealth that their families brought ( they were the youngest in their families, probs. youngest child syndrome *coughs* me ). he grew up in a loving household, one that was open and generous—their four empty bedrooms were always available for axel’s friends to stay over if they needed,

axel learned from their optimism, from their generosity—why be manipulative, when his family had the means to procure anything with ease ? it was a dangerous bubble to grow up in, but his parents, being forward thinkers too, saw him as an equal growing up. they’d tell him all the family drama as they rolled their eyes. needless to say, they didn’t have to work too hard to get by in life, to live in luxury.

TW DEATH. on the eve of his parents’ anniversary when axel was sixteen, a sophomore in high school, his parents died in a tragic car accident in paris on the way back to the airport. he was left devastated, alone in a home with no one to return to. END TW.

while he wasn’t around at cape coral, he was sent to live with his uncle ( his father’s brother ) and aunt, where he finally got immersed into the cutthroat life of the roy family, no longer skirting the edges of the family business. he would constantly get compared to his cousins all the time, which he hated. his aunt and uncle also expected him to follow in his family’s footsteps and continue working at the family company—which he also despised, but didn’t voice openly. he’d known about the shady deals, thought the monopolization of media was an evil he’d want to avoid.

finding it hard to express his pain and loneliness after his parents’ death, axel started taking up art and painting more seriously than just a hobby. he painted and painted and painted, staying after school in the art studios just to let his emotions out somehow. and he became talented—garnering interest from his teachers, his peers, the portland community, and eventually worldwide with his social media following.

TW DRUGS. but the art didn’t spark out of nowhere—he certainly needed help, both to inspire his works, but also to relieve the pain of loneliness, to help him transition from his old life to a new. it was weed at first, but he slowly started dabbling in acid, cocaine, and molly, amongst other things. END TW.

now at cape coral, he’s continuing pursuing his career as an artist, with a humble following, slew of awards under his belt, a few international articles published about his unique genre ( see @ canvas section on my pinterest board here ), and has been invited to have his work exhibitioned in a galleries across the nation.

* PERSONALITY !

axel certainly hasn’t lost the positive charm that he had grown up around, with parents like his. he’s pretty go-with-the-flow ( in a sense, far less uptight than his cousins, and probably many other cape coral students ), preferring to stay on the sidelines than get into the spotlight ( unless it’s the art scene ! ).

he’s generous, and sometimes doesn’t realize when he’s being taken advantage of—another trait he’s probably received from his parents, who were far too giving for their own good.

he’s kind, but not a pushover—he’s becoming more confident in who he is, and won’t back down from pushing back in conversations, nor let his friends make terrible decision for themselves. sometimes he’s a bit stubborn in that capacity.

he’s a pretty good listener, and with his share of heartbreaks and pains, he’s been known to give pretty good advice while he’s sitting at his easel, painting away. whether or not he chooses to follow that same advice himself—a little less certain.

he certainly still focuses on his studies—being part of the honors society—as he continues to pursue a double major in visual studies and psychology. perhaps the interest in drugs came first from his interest in the mind itself. so, he’s definitely an academic, but he likes to have fun, too.

ambitious, yes—in the artistic development sense. otherwise, spontaneous, for sure. he’s chasing highs and new experiences that will inspire his artwork in the future.

he’s fiercely loyal to those who he trusts, but wouldn’t necessarily go too far out of line to protect them. he’ll certainly go out of his way to pick someone up in one of the several cars he has ( he’d never had the heart to sell his parents’ cars ), to chat about problems, to work things out—but he probably doesn’t have the chops in him to break laws for people. but he’d never sell them out—he’d just stay silent.

sometimes he tends to zone out, sketching doodles on his notebooks and napkins, reveling in unique natural color combinations, being fascinated by shapes and lines. but he’ll also be the first to apologize for zoning out.

* CHARACTER TROPES !

TW: DEATH, DRUGS — growing up, axel roy-dreyfus was your classic BOY NEXT DOOR. shining smile, perfect manners, star on the cross-country team who had a charming smile and a brain, too. he was raised that way on purpose: picture perfect, for the only child of a roy and a dreyfus, two completely powerful families in the media world. but their expectations were not met because of strict curfews, or perfectly tied ties, no—axel wanted to be perfect to make them proud, because he loved them. because they were strong but caring, who saw axel as an equal. he never called them ‘mom’ or ‘dad’, but ‘william’ and ‘diana’ instead—they were his best friends, they never hid anything from him—not the family drama, not company secrets. they were the perfect little family, one that his friends often envied, but sometimes good things fall apart.

their little picturesque bubble burst quickly when his parents passed away in a car accident when axel was sixteen, and he was thrust into the bustling life of the roy family. though he was privy to the family drama through the lens of his parents before, he never realized how deeply cutthroat and horrible business could be. he would be constantly compared to his older cousins, would be on the receiving end of inquiries about where he would be attending college (cape coral, of course—their entire family’s alma mater). he found himself playing the role of the CONTENDER, often, battling unrealistic expectations to keep his family happy, yes, but more importantly, himself sane. but with axel’s loneliness, with his sadness came an awakening. unable to properly express himself with words anymore, he turned to art. and people realized that he had a gift like no other.

art became a refuge for him—he’d spend hours upon hours in the studios at school, and when he outgrew them (or rather, found other means of inspiration through pills and other substances), he moved his creative space to his dorm, his apartment—wherever he had space to just be. people started catching onto his talent: teachers and professors first, then peers, classmates, friends who supported his endeavors. purchases made their way across the world and his name became more and more familiar. his art is raw, vulnerable, not for the aesthetic but for the emotion elicited from symbols, colors, shapes. it’s his own genre, one that people have been more and more intrigued by these days. it’s gotten to his head, a little, surely—that he’s made a name for himself outside of the roys and the dreyfuses. he now has a bit of confidence behind him, being able to list his earnings and the recognition he has received at local galas—and people are starting to accept him for his future, too. it fuels him, makes him a HOTSHOT, but of course, not everyone knows about the measures he takes to ensure his creative juices keep flowing.

outside of his own personal journey, axel is known to be a loyal friend. the relationship he had with his parents certainly prepared him to be the shoulder to cry on, to give sage advice to people in need. he jokes that his apartment is now half an art studio, half a therapist’s office, by the nature that many people swing by to chat while he paints (sober, or not). he relied on his friends when his parents passed away, not exactly receiving the emotional support from his family that he needed. in that way, he’ll never sell someone out, never tell someone’s secret without their permission. in the perspective of those he cares about, he could be labeled a FERRYMAN, one who helps guide those who are in need of advice or just someone to talk something through with.

* PLAYLIST !

erase — omar apollo:

i don’t mind, my head’s in the sky thinkin’ of you, oh, feelin’ for you, oh oh it’s cold right now, i miss you for life it’s not going away, i thought i’d be okay, yeah

TW: DEATH, CAR ACCIDENTS — this song might more relate to axel’s relationship with his parents more than an ex-lover, though it could pertain to the latter, too. his parents, who died in a car accident on their way back from a trip to paris four years ago, where axel’s mother is from, were his inspiration, his support, his best friends. axel had an incredible bond with his parents—especially, given he is an only child. his parents nurtured a gentle but passionate soul in a family that was full of cutthroat, cold businesspeople. their death sparked his interest in expressing himself through art, as he couldn’t find the words to fully describe his pain and emotion. he misses them dearly, still sometimes finding it hard to navigate life without them, and dedicates his life and art to them everyday.

easy love — lauv:

keep comin’ back, guess you could say i’m attached last time we called it a wrap, i came beggin’ and all that you’re like a habit, it’s bad i got a habit, it’s bad oh no, i’m not even mad

TW: DRUGS — this song describes his personality and love life—unfortunately, he can be a bit reckless when it comes to his own well-being. he certainly dabbles in more than a few drugs, acid and marijuana mostly, to enhance his creative abilities, as it was a piece that he had painted during an acid trip that garnered him the fame and respect he has now. he tries to rationalize it as a creative process, as something necessary to push his artistry to the next level. similarly, in his love life, i imagine that he gets himself into rather toxic relationships. although he, himself, is a selfless person, especially to those he is loyal to, he sometimes doesn’t exactly realize when things are unhealthy to him—bad habits, you could say. he’ll keep crawling back to people as long as they make him feel good, even just for a night.

vincent — don mclean:

now I understand what you tried to say to me and how you suffered for your sanity and how you tried to set them free they would not listen, they did not know how perhaps they’ll listen now

TW: DEATH — this song describes axel’s life as an artist, in the eyes of someone who appreciates his craft. his extended family, including his uncle and aunt whom he now stays with during holidays and family gatherings, don’t quite appreciate nor understand his interest in art. he has struggled, since the day his parents passed away, to get them to understand how much art means to him, and how it’s not just a phase. now at cape coral, where he is being nurtured to reach his fullest potential, he wants the chance to join a residency program after college in paris to reconnect with his mother’s family’s roots—he’s already garnering attention from a worldwide audience. he still faces a lot of backlash from his family, and it affects him more than he would like it to.

* AESTHETICS !

thrift shopping, talking on the rooftops until three am, poems scribbled on masking tape, dried flowers, french music on a record player in the background, paint-stained hands, hoodies on a sunny day, waves crashing on the sand, unfinished sketches on napkins, vintage film cameras, whiskey breath, exposed brick, clean unmade sheets, spontaneously bought train tickets, rose petals, writing letters to his parents, subway chatter, graffiti-ing positive messages on highway tunnels, cigarette smoke, art galleries circled on city maps, coffee under a paris awning.

* HEADCANONS !

he has an instagram page, showcasing his artwork, that has 82.7k followers at the moment. he doesn’t post his face or anything about him personally, just cryptic descriptions of vulnerable art.

he keeps his two last names out of respect and love for his parents—not, like many people believe, to be able to milk the advantages to being born to two families that control great media conglomerates in the world.

one of his most damning vices is cigarettes. he smokes them to feel calm, and often needs someone to swat them away from him.

his apartment is full to the brim of canvases and paintings—it’s honestly a zoo. layers of works line the walls of the hallways, whatever’s newest being the furthest out. there are some hidden gems laying around, if anyone were interested in checking.

he has ear piercings—much to his extended family’s dismay. he never used to wear it around when his aunt and uncle were present, but ever since his newfound confidence has bubbled up in his chest, he doesn’t care anymore.

he’s bisexual.

there’s an enormous chalkboard in his apartment too, and visitors are encouraged to draw and write messages on it—as long as they don’t erase his grocery list. he finds inspiration for his work on there a lot.

he’s a 3x state chess champion—it’s a skill he was taught as a kid, and likes how he had practice reading people from the game.

there’s an apartment in his name in the 7th arrondissement of paris, where he escapes to from time to time, the musée d’orsay is his favorite place on earth.

axel absolutely adores train rides. the ride from new york city (where his aunt and uncle live, and where his parents used to live) up to cape coral is some undisturbed peace where he likes to just sit and think, enjoying the changing colors of the autumn leaves.

* WANTED PLOTS !

these are just like stubs and rando ideas i had ……… pls feel free to pick and choose and mix and match idk i’m also ok at brainstorming ig PLEASE MESSAGE ME I WANT ALL THE PLOTS AND ALL THE ANGST OK THANKS !! i also have a WANTED TAG here

TW DRUGS

a best friend ( preferably since childhood ! ): give me guzman n ander vibes, where the two have known each other since they were little, have been through thick and thin, is axel’s biggest supporter in his art. ( insp: x ) OKF DSJO BUT PLS GIVE ME THIS ……………… 3x07 guys, come on. we all know.

childhood friends / best friends / ride or dies: likely other cape coral students who have been around a long time, they’ve seen axel through his ups n downs, were there for him when his parents passed, and get up to shenanigans at galas and charity events. the elite kids basically. they’re the siblings he’s never had, he’d protect them with his life and offer advice and paint things for them !

someone who goes with him to art museums pls he’d be super excited and cute and tell them everything about high renaissance art and theories of design patterns

good influence, someone who will swat cigarettes out of his hands and keeps him working on his assignments when all he’d rather do is paint. they keep him in line, and although axel might whine a little at first, he really values their friendship and them always looking after him. i’m thinking rebe/ander vibes from this season.

on the other hand, a bad influence, who might introduce him to different drugs, trip on acid with him as he paints, maybe causes him to spend his enormous trust fund on random shit.

tour guide, axel is good-natured and caring, and that doesn’t stop with the current cape coral students. even if some of his peers and his family might scorn him for being more open to them, he wouldn’t hesitate to show some of the new students around and show them the ropes. besides, he knows what it feels like to want to make a name for yourself.

former roommates (probably a cape coral student), who may or may not have been close.

current roommates (probably also a cape coral student), who may or may not mind the fact that he’s been filling their apartment with enormous canvases, probably super super close friend to his, probably someone whose family probably is close to his, too.

neighbors, there’s a lot of possibility here !! maybe they hated the way axel seemed to blare his speakers when he’s painting and tripping, they could be friends who storm each others’ rooms when they’re having bad days. his couch is practically a therapists’ couch at this point.

a critic, who pushes him to be a better artist. to dig deeper, to think further, to challenge himself and his abilities — which might be his downfall, considering he’s already diving into drug use.

his uh ……… first male hookup ??? this probably would have happened maybe like a year ago after him n giuliana broke up !!! he came out as bisexual in high school but had a long-term gf for a while so it would have been his first time rlly experimenting ya feel

on that note other hookups that he might have slept with during this ??? trying time

* MORE !

i’ve got a pinterest board here fjdklsf if u got this far and wanted to check it out ! pls pls plot w me i want all the plots *grabby hands* feel free to msg me on discord or here on ims !!!

#capecoral:intro #intro post.#// pls plot w me …………………… thnx !!!! i am here to create maximum ANGST

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distcntdreams · 4 years

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— ON YOUR KNEES, that’s ELION FLEMING ! you really don’t recognize them ? they’re TWENTY-THREE , AURA’S BELOVED PRINCE . ring a bell ? usually HE is known to be quite CREATIVE and WITHDRAWN . but if need be , simply call them the NIMBLE DREAMER . now keep your head down , they’re looking this way.

hey all ! i’m Ace a 20 something living in the eastern time zone. i’m a huge nerd, having two lovable pups, and can’t wait to start getting to know you all better. this is Elion, brother to King Nicholas and prince of Aura. don’t let his typically spacey demeanor fool you, he’s a goof who just wants the freedom to be himself.

B A S I C S

name; elion warrick fleming nickname; eli, nan used to call him ‘cloudwalker’ title(s); prince of aura, the nimble dreamer sex; cis-male age; twenty-three birth date; nov 9th place of birth; aura sexual orientation; pansexual romantic orientation; heteromantic

F A M I L Y

father; augustus fleming, deceased mother; marianne fleming nee caron siblings; nicholas fleming, king of aura spouse; willow fleming nee moreau children; n/a others; roisin fleming nee coventry, sister-in-law. celeste fleming, niece, deceased . pet(s); sir nova and sir rowan, dogs ( talbot hound & a mutt )

P E R S O N A L I T Y

positive traits; conscientious, playful, fearless ( mostly ), curious, indomitable, creative. negative traits; dramatic, secretive, aimless, risk-taking, superstitious, competitive quirks & habits; plays with hair. hums. mutters. mispronounces names. laughs at his own jokes. talks to himself when trying to figure something out. always has a few coins in his or her pocket to give to beggars or homeless. likes; children. art. sketching. painting. music ( listening & playing ). water ( swimming & sailing ). dogs. games. festivals. sparring. acrobatics. daggers & rapiers. sunny weather. jogging in the rain. talking to people ( on his own terms ). adventure. dislikes; afraid of thunder and lightning. being alone too long. the cold. rooms without windows. spiders. scratchy fabrics. floral perfumes. being ‘stuck’. personality; to the majority of people, Elion comes off as ‘lost’. he doesn’t pay much attention to anyone that isn’t his family or friends. he’s not unkind, on the contrary, he’s quite friendly and warm once you catch his attention. he’s just-- often drifting around in his own mind, imagining the life of an adventuring knight or seafarer. when he’s with family or someone he considers such, Eli’s pretty carefree and playful. growing up, his parents weren’t the warmest. they were focused on molding him and his siblings into the best they could be. which meant raising them with an iron grip. luckily for Eli, he was shielded by his siblings and because of them he was able to retain a lot more of his sunny disposition. he still holds a passion for life and the world around him and he owes that to them, so he’ll spend a good amount of energy trying to ignite those same feelings in them. ( i’ll work on this more later )

B A C K G R O U N D

• elion warrick fleming was born to augustus and marianne fleming nine years after their firstborn, nicholas fleming.

• his parents weren’t warm or particularly good at showing their affections. they loved him, just as they loved their other children, but their way of showing it was...unique.

• he never wanted for anything ( other than actual affection ) and he received the best education that their royal money could buy. they even allowed him a somewhat unorthodox combat instructor. in truth, he was perhaps the only instructor that managed to hold Eli’s attention enough to get him focused. he began lessons at age seven and by the time he was sixteen, he was considered one of the best swordsmen in aura. it’s something he loves and he considers it just as much of an art as painting or music. it’s a dance and though his style can be quite showy and dramatic, he takes it seriously. mostly.

• as a child, it was hard to get him to focus. he had the energy of a hummingbird and the attention span of a puppy. his parents, tutors, and nursemaids were at a loss. no matter how much they attempted to subdue him, whether it was with punishments or incentives, nothing ever seemed to stick aside from his swordsmanship training and art. like his brother, he discovered his love of art early on. if not for nicholas, it may have been stomped out of him as well, but his brother had a knack for looking out for him. his siblings, much to his parents chagrin shielded him from a lot. with their help and his ability to withdraw into his imagination, he was able to keep his passion, curiosity and optimism toward the world intact.

• this sometimes brought good fortune, like when he was eight and managed to save the life of a hunter who’d gotten into a bind in the forest or the friends he made with the commoners of aura. others times it brought woe, once in the form of being gullible enough trust the word of a smuggler or to have his heart broken by his muse.

• he was young, barely 15, when he fell over heels. he didn’t care who knew. didn’t care what his parents thought. she was the one, they were in love, and his work-- it flourished because of it. that is-- until he caught her in a tryst with a stablehand. he’s unsure of the details, honestly. all he knew was that she’d not only betrayed his trust...but he looked like a fool. he’d given her everything his young heart could and she felt nothing in return. eventually they were able to move past it, he even considers her a friend now, but he hasn’t loved like that since. he prefers playful frolics and flings, nothing more. even in the few courtships he’s had since, he’s held himself back.

• needless to say when his brother, now king, proposed marriage to gain an alliance with the kingdom of Eden, Elion was not thrilled. the idea, while sound, could have easily been forged with another of their siblings or even a duke. not that he had anything against princess Willow. he didn’t know her. they’d seen each other in passing only. there was no way he was the best suited. he was ill equipped and out of touch with kingdom politics. he would’ve preferred to be granted the permission to travel and continue his focus on his art. not settle down with a wife.

• but here he is. married and doing his best to be a ‘responsible’ member of Aura’s court when all he wants to do is get away from it all. he’d had a plan to do it too. unbeknownst to his brother, over the last year or two, he’d been frequenting more... sordid areas of the aisle and made friends with a few disreputable folks. he’d been working to secure passage on a ship, one where he could shed his princely title and just-- be Elion. He still considers it, often times dreaming of the life he might have, but he’s hesitant to leave his family with the threat of war looming overhead. So here he’ll stay, for now...

#CAVALRY:INTRO #eli::|| bio #eli::|| headcanon

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goodmcn · 4 years

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* 𝖇𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖘𝖙 𝖌𝖗𝖊𝖊𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 to all u skinnie legends out there who i am BURSTING at the seams to write w ! i’m 𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 , i go by 𝑠ℎ𝑒 / 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 pronouns and am full of excitement to get some kickin plots started w my lil charmer son , 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒉𝒊 ! he’s a relatively new muse i’m trying out so forgive any of the kinks i’m workin out ! unless u like that shit which in that case u go boo and i love u . all likes will result in me comin to u for plots so make sure to love that 𝐥𝐢𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 down ! without further ado , here comes ur new resident boyband bf with dimples n commitment issues ! :~) :~) :~)

𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 here and do i have the tea for you . 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒉𝒊 is back on campus , which is surprising considering the threatening note i left them . yes , i know all about 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 because of their 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐝 . imagine the tabloids and how the 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒎𝒂𝒏 family would feel for such information to come out , not to mention the reputation of 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐦𝐚 because of their actions . at this rate , 𝒉𝒆 is better off staying put in 𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐮 , 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐚 and living off that $966 m family net worth . what’s the point in studying 𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 with plans to 𝑪𝑳𝑬𝑨𝑵 𝑼𝑷 𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑨𝑪𝑻 𝑻𝑶 𝑩𝑬 𝑻𝑨𝑲𝑬𝑵 𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑶𝑼𝑺𝑳𝒀 𝑨𝑺 𝑨𝑵 𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑶𝑹 , is it worth it with what i know ? anyways , they may want to continue to be 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 & 𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒏𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄 because the 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒆𝒕𝒖𝒐𝒖𝒔 & 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒕 attributes make me want to spill . ( 𝑤𝑜𝑙𝑓𝑔𝑎𝑛𝑔 𝑛𝑜𝑣𝑜𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑧 , 𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 , 𝑝𝑠𝑡 ) .

* TRIGGER WARNING : drug mention , death mention

⋆ ╰ 𝑺 𝑻 𝑨 𝑻 𝑰 𝑺 𝑻 𝑰 𝑪 𝑺 .

𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 : bodhi alexander goodman 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 : bo , b 𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆 / 𝒂𝒈𝒆 : june 6 , twenty - one 𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄 : gemini 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚 / 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔 : cismale identifying with he / him / his pronouns 𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 : to be determined ! 𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 : student at hworth majoring in anthropology and minoring in performing arts , member of ( undetermined vc / name but their artist - claim is PRETTYMUCH ! 🥴 ) , aspiring actor 𝒉𝒐𝒈𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆 : gryffindor 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 : jake peralta from b99 , finn hudson from glee , jim halpert from the office , han solo from star wars , sonny carisi from law and order svu , prince naveen from the princess and the frog

𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒔 : - impetuous , remiss , hedonistic , defiant , mercurial , afraid of commitment , truculent

+ benevolent , jovial , responsive , imaginative , assiduous , steadfast , sharp-witted , enthusiastic , magnetic , sympathetic

⋆ ╰ 𝑨 𝑵 𝑻 𝑬 𝑪 𝑬 𝑫 𝑬 𝑵 𝑻 .

001 : bodhi came into his family as the result of a closed adoption . he doesn’t know much about his birth family besides the few pictures his parents have shown him but he’s been told little to nothing about his roots besides the fact that his birth mother is also jewish . it’s not that his parents want him to remain in the dark about his past , it’s that they want to give him the choice to pick and choose what facets of it he discovers himself , and so far , bodhi’s been content living the life he knows : two loving parents who picked him of all people to add to their family .

002 : his mother , martha goodman , runs a foundation to empower women in leadership positions and makes a fortune running workshops and speaking tours . his father is the tv mogul of america . eric goodman has his own TV empire and runs shows such as the bachelor franchise , ER , will and grace , veronica mars , shameless , etc ( basically warner bros television productions . ) he grew up needing nothing , learning everything , exploring the world of the rich and famous with hollywood’s darling power couple keeping him grounded and putting a good head on his shoulders . while most in their tax bracket filled the expectation of the snotty rich families , the goodman’s seemed to have an ascriptive surname , building a reputation of themselves for being kind , self-made people who maintained humility and their good natures throughout their rises to fame .

003 : with a family reputation for being generally decent human beings , bodhi’s sparkling personality and kind disposition showed no deviation from this behavior , and he quickly charmed his way through every hollywood party or charity fundraiser his parents let him tag along to . there’s no expectation from martha or eric for him to be anything other than a good person , allowing bodhi to develop at his own pace and for that , he’s able to flaunt a relationship of mutual respect and absolute adoration of both his parents to this day ( a notably rarer and rarer thing in the circles he graces , it’d seem . )

003 : he’s well-liked throughout school , doing well enough in the sports he dabbles in to have a potential future in them , but it’s nothing that speaks to him the way the arts do . his teachers note his bright , inquisitive nature , the way he watches and recreates movements and noises with almost frightening precision , the tenacity and the desire for absolute perfection . it’s shocking , really , when his parents see his grades tanking around the same time he’s leaving middle school . they’ve given him what he wants , after all , without losing the perspective of discipline they mutually agreed upon . the private schools should be enough to keep him in line , but as it turns out , it’s nothing of their own intentional doing that leaves bodhi’s gpa with much to be desired . tired of his legacy being attached to his surname , he finds himself attracted to the way he makes people smile : at first , it’s the way he performs on a stage that gives him the approval he so craves , eventually , it’s the adrenaline that comes from intentional disobedience that starts to drive him .

004 : the headmaster of the ritzy high school he attends hesitates to label him a ‘ problem child ‘ — after all , bodhi’s well-liked among his instructors , has a thriving social life , and is actively involved in extracurriculars up to his ears . ‘ he’s not a bad kid , ‘ the headmaster explains to the concerned goodman’s , seated tensely in his office for a behavioral intervention meeting , ‘ he just makes some really , really bad decisions . ‘ and that’s to say the least , he notes : the list of his infractions include everything from harmless pranks and showing up to class hungover to provoking other students and being caught with illegal substances . they don’t condone such behavior , of course , but the school would never consider rejecting the decent sum his parents offer to scrub his academic record of such infractions .

005 : unwittingly , they fuel bodhi’s chaos . knowing he can get away with more and more than he ever considered possible , he carries on following whatever feels good or seems like it’ll fill his time . he hates sitting still and loves making other people feel good , a dangerous combination when fueled with the nearly 1 billion dollar empire his parents have at his fingertips . he’s saved only by his own charm and his family’s heft , getting out of dui’s and public intoxication charges without too much more than a salacious headline ( something he grows used to enough to remain unbothered by . ) it’s when he’s 17 and receives an offer from his first manager to join a group that he gets out of the rigidity of school that seemed to have been holding him back . it’s him and 4 other boys his age , meant to be something of nsync revamped , utilizing his musical inclination and dance talents to shoot him into the tabloids for reasons other than something that would scandalize his parents , for once . the group is playful and fun , and their fan demographic is mostly girls his age , so he’s more than pleased to finish school on the road during their first small scale tour through the US .

006 : while this gives him a new outlet for his energy , bodhi still finds himself in the occasional sticky situation with the law , much to his parents and now his team’s exasperation . his parents force him to enroll at hu as some sort of hope he’ll learn discipline , balancing his career and his studies , and for a while it works . recording during the school year and touring every other summer , bodhi strikes a balance that gives him some sort of fulfillment for a short amount of time — that is , until his mercurial side kicks into gear and combines with his natural hedonistic tendencies to cause one of the lowest of lows in his life . he’s halfway through his sophomore year when he feels a change of heart , losing passion for the now - boyish tendencies he’s become so comfortable with in his life , longing for something where he’ll be taken more seriously . he wants to impress , to blow people away , to make them feel , and while music has been there for him his whole life , he can’t help but think maybe he’s been meant for a stage or a camera and that’s what’s left him so empty . the prospect of having to tell his family and group he wants to throw it all away to pursue something he has no experience in agonizes him , pushing his nerves to the point he reverts to old habits trying to soothe them . he’s partying harder than he has in years with his close circle , much to the chagrin of a childhood friend who’s trying to talk him out of being reckless . he claims to remember none of the details of the night , but the memory of handing his best friend the first line of coke for the night and watching something go very , very wrong before bodhi’s able to follow suit is forever engrained in his memory . fucked up , terrified , and forever afraid of the very real responsibilities he’s faced with , he turns and hightails it out of the party . the police raid it a half hour later , and his friend’s death is ruled an accidental overdose on laced coke .

007 : bodhi doesn’t tell a soul about how he left his friend behind , about how he could have done something if he wasn’t such a fucking coward afraid of stepping up , and feels the loss deep inside himself every day moving forward . he ignores it by pushing his fun-loving disposition even further , trying to temper it with a push to be taken more seriously as an artist in order to make his transition into acting . he’s had small theater roles here and there and does a student film or two , but it’s nothing close to what he wants of himself . after all , hollywood wants a leading man , which bodhi has the absolute capability of being — if he weren’t so busy letting himself be consumed by his peter pan syndrome . he wants it all , to be taken seriously , but is unwilling to let go of the habits that keep him lodged in immaturity . always one to run from his problems , holling’s threats are now forcing him to face the reality of the consequences he’s tried so long to ignore . with his career , his family name , and his own future at risk , he’s being forced to recognize that good intentions aren’t always enough to keep him in one piece .

⋆ ╰ 𝑨 𝑵 𝑨 𝑳 𝒀 𝑺 𝑰 𝑺 .

001 : bodhi’s been something of a golden boy as long as he can remember , or at least some version of it despite his propensity for mischief . boy-ish , charming , with a heart perhaps too big for his body and seemingly allergic to anything remotely resembling responsibility . he’s a natural born leader when the event suits him — passionate and able to use his magnetism for bringing people together , but when he feels unmotivated , he’s about as helpful as he is good with his schoolwork ( which is to say : leaving something to be desired . ) despite this , he’s an outspoken advocate for good and through his jokes and headassery , will push for a message of benevolence and good energy .

002 : his bright , playful disposition makes him naturally magnetic . he’s a man’s man through and through but has a sensitivity engrained by his parents that lead him to respect all life , no matter the perceived or stereotyped value . despite his traditional ‘ bro ‘ demeanor , he’s quite respectful and his brash nature tends to avoid all objectifying or unbecoming commentary . with a devilish grin and an unparalleled enthusiasm for life , bodhi’s kind nature doesn’t seem so much of a pushover as someone who really just makes those around him feel alive . he has an air of self - ��assured confidence and mellow security , partnered with his belief that everyone has a value as a person and his kind , unrelenting eye contact , has the effect of bodhi making you feel like you’re the most important person in the room , solely by the way he pays attention to you . this is part of his passion , making others feel uplifted and important .

003 : his upbringing , despite not perfect , leaves him with a moral compass pointing a little straighter than what he’s found in some of the circles he frequents . despite a usually easygoing and breezy disposition , bodhi’s disdain for the egocentric or high - brow mindsets of his classmates often leaves them as the butt end of his jokes . he knows there’s no point in calling them out , so instead he takes a jim halpert - ian approach to their demeanors by pressing every single button made available to him . he gets an absolute KICK out of this and while he tries to leave the lady societies out of the equation of his teasing , many of his snotty sigma brothers have expressed quite the frustration with their wildcard member’s tendency to cause issues within their ranks solely for his own entertainment .

004 : despite having all the makings of a true leading man , it’s bodhi’s selectiveness with his efforts and fear of all things responsibility that leave him in neverland , a perpetual peter pan syndrome following someone who desperately wants to be taken seriously despite doing nothing to make himself more serious , thus his flaw of greed — he wants it all , but wants it given to him rather than work for it himself . he’s naturally playful , almost to a fault , using humor as a coping mechanism for his discomfort at some less than opportune times . having a heart as big as his leads to a level of sensitivity that sometimes teeters on being too much rather than too little — he’ll percieve slights that aren’t there , or take liberties with past conflicts as excuses to cause new conflicts of his own . he’s a perfectionist at heart , which leads to his tendencies to be all or nothing : he either will go after something with every intention of being the best , or will refuse to try at all . his inner confidence leads to an occasional miscalculation , biting off more than he can chew and leaving those around him to clean up after his mess despite his best efforts . he’s dedicated to certain people and causes but is otherwise unreliable , with a naturally fickle disposition that leads to some uncertainty as to whether he will really follow through or not unless it has to do with something or someone he’s expressed loyalty to in the past .

005 : LIKES TO FUCKIN MOVE ! he cannot fuckin sit STILL and u’ll always catch him bouncing his leg or wigging lmao he hates sitting down . sports were awesome for him but he THRIVED when he learned how to dance n honestly that’s one of his most notable talents . he fucking looooves to move , and lots of how he emotes comes from his body language bc he knows how important it is to be expressive in more than jsut your face , esp w acting . he’s left handed , LOVES animals , and feels most himself when he’s making someone else smile . he’s prone to random outbursts of musical inclination and is the one in his friend groups that often receives a ‘ bodhi SHUT UP ‘ because he’s trying to harmonize with the radio DFSDFSD . he’s more than willing to share his ecclectic collection of scars and scratches from the countless bad decisions he’s made , and has been a frequent star of barstool’s social media for some of his less - than - professional antics . there’s a running hashtag on twitter to make him the next bachelor but he can’t stay out of jail long enough for his dad to give him the green light KSFDJSDF

⋆ ╰ 𝐂 𝐎 𝐍 𝐍 𝐄 𝐂 𝐓 𝐈 𝐎 𝐍 𝐒 .

001 : exes - who doesn’t like a good exes plot :/ good terms , bad terms , on and off , whateva . give me someone he said ‘ i love you ‘ to in 24 hours , give me someone he dated for 6 months and never said it once , give me someone who he ghosted , someone who ghosted him , truly ANYTHING i am down to talk abt

002 : good influences - bodhi needs some ppl to help keep him in CHECK the mans can be a lil wild sometimes . im thinking 1 or 2 ppl who kinda work as his voice of reason when he can’t think straight n wants to dive off the roof into the pool to say ‘ bodhi no ! ‘

003 : bad influences - he’s a p good guy so i’d LOVE for some muses to bring out the worst in him

004 : hookups - he respects women by providing them w fire ass hookups n then never talking to them again KSDFKJSDHF im kidding , but fr he’s down . give me ongoing , former and ended badly , one night stand , all the TEA

005 : inner circle - i’m always a sucker for a good bro squad ( bro is forever and always gender neutral btw )

006 : party friends - this is self explanatory y’all !

007 : childhood friends from malibu / so cal area - he basically hasn’t grown up in like 12 yrs besides getting taller n buffer give me some childhood friends , a first love , former neighbors , even a mf pen pal ?

008 : friends w lingering feelings / skinny luvs - any of these in ANY extent would be desired and adored 😔✊🏼

009 : enemies / ppl who don’t like him / he doesn’t fw dfsfsd - bodhi’s pretty social but he kinda has this thing against rlly snotty rich kids so pls give me some high brow muses that he doesn’t get along w ! and makes his life’s effort to annoy n cause trouble w !

010 : fans ? - he’s in a boyband .. . . .. tbh it’s not the least likely thing in the world for him to have a stan or two at hu ? prettymuch n former 1D stans come thru DJFSJDHFKSJ

#holling:intro #im so tired of typing im sorry for this mess :/ SDFSDF #⎝ * 𝒃 . 𝒈 . › ooc .

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