#i know i suck at replying bc i have anxiety. but like. you keep being here. so i keep writing. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brokebonewritings · 1 year

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can you do one where reader hasn’t ever dated anyone, or gone on a date and kissed anyone before bc of anxiety and being shy, and somehow you’re friends with matt and the gang (maybe from law school? idk) and foggy and karen keep telling you matt likes you but you don’t believe it until he tells you himself, and then you’re at a loss for how to proceed since you have 0 experience 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

My friend. Anything for you, especially since you’re my first request in a long time! So thank you so much! Hope you enjoy this little story 🤍

Sincerely, Anxiety.

Matt Murdock x reader

Tags/ Warning: Pure Cane Fluff

Word Count: 2.1K

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You sat quietly at the cafe booth you currently resided in. Waiting. Currently you’re waiting for your friends as they slowly filtered into the coffee shop. Karen joins you as she gets her coffee, the both of you catching up from the weekend. Foggy and Matt join 15 minutes later.

The lot of you sit around the table and talk about the previous week. Cases you are all working on, your families, dates. Not that you have been on any date. Your social anxiety was far too bad to do any of that.

“Okay, well we have to know.” Karen says. “Are you and Marci getting back together?” This was directed towards Foggy. His cheeks caught a tint of pink before he cleared his throat.

“I mean, I don’t know. It was just a date.” He replied.

You turn and give Karen a side eyed look before smiling. “So is there another date?”

“You guys suck you know that?” Foggy mutters. “Yeah, we’re planning a second date.”

Matt lets out a small chuckle next to you, as you shake your head and take a sip of coffee. You stare at the way his eyes crinkle out of the side of his glasses. It makes your stomach fill with butterflies. Focusing on your cup a little too intensely, you realize Foggy had been calling your name after a few minutes.

“Huh?” You look up from the cup “What happened?”

“Karen asked how your date went?” Foggy replied. Out of the corner of your eye you see Matt tense a bit. Karen noticed as well as Foggy. You sat in silence for a moment.

“I didn’t go.” You said quietly.

“What?” Matt said abruptly.

“Yeah, what?” Karen cleared her throat, in confusion.

“I just,” You start, rubbing the back of your neck. “I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I knew it would turn out bad.”

Now it was Foggy and Karen’s turn to look at each other in a knowing way. The dating conversation was dropped and everyone continued to finish their coffee. Once you are all determined to be done for the day you all part ways.

It was nice to see your friends almost daily. It helped that you all worked closely together. Karen, Matt and Foggy shared an office, and you worked right up the street in a PI office.

What wasn’t nice was torturing yourself by seeing Matt almost daily. Your hands were always clammy when you were near him. Heart beating slightly faster whenever you accidentally brush your hands. You really had it bad for Matt, and could you blame yourself? Yes, you always did blame yourself.

You and Karen walk through Central Park on a leisurely stroll. It wasn’t too often that the both of you got to hang out, so when it did happen it was nice. You both giggle as you make fun of Foggy and Matt the previous night at Josies. They had been arguing over what had happened on a particular night in college.

“What a great day for a picnic! This was a great idea!.” Karen exclaimed.

“Right? I’m glad you were able to come.” You smile warmly at her. “Especially without the boys.”

Stopping on the top of a small hill, you both begin setting up for your little lunch. It really was a nice day out. It was cloudy and the park wasn’t packed for once. The small basket was quaint, but nothing too fancy.

“You said you needed to talk to me about something?” You asked after a moment. The both of you continue setting out small plates and cups. She looks up for a moment, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear before clearing her throat.

“Right…” She starts. “It’s about the other day at the coffee shop. Foggy and I noticed that Matt looked surprised when I mentioned the date.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Did you tell him about the date?” She asks curiously. No. The answer was that simple. You didn’t know how to speak to Matt like a regular person. A big part of that was because you liked him. Another part was that you were too shy around him, and why would he be interested in someone that can’t even speak up at a bar.

“I didn’t think he would react the way he did.” You finally respond. Karen’s lips flattened, obviously she disapproved of your answer. You decide to ignore the look on her face as you pour the both of you a cup of lemonade.

“You know he likes you right?” Her comment makes you spill a little juice on the blanket. “Wait… did you not know?”

“Did I not know?!” You choke out. The reaction coming out of you was actually laughable. Honestly, how could you have known. The man likes to keep secrets, you knew he was good at it too. “He can’t possibly like me. I’m definitely not his type.”

“He’s got it bad for you, y/n.” She says. “Maybe you should just shoot your shot.”

“I don’t think he does though.” You admit quietly. “Even if he did the what if he rejects me?”

“He won’t.” She takes the small sandwiches out of the basket before putting one on a plate for you. “He talks about you constantly, and you know he doesn’t date anyone?”

“He doesn’t?” You take the plate and hand her a small bowl of salad in return. “Not even his infamous one night stands?”

Karen shakes her head and knits her eyebrows together. “He hasn’t spoke about that in a long time actually. Point is, he’s confided in Foggy about being smitten by you.”

The red tint on your cheeks didn’t hide the fact that you felt the same way. You very much were smitten by him too. However there was one thing that was holding you back. Your anxiety. How could possibly tell Matt that you felt the same way.

“Wait, why are you telling me this?” You ask, and she snorts in response.

“Are you kidding me? Foggy and I are kind of tired of the both of you dancing around each other.”

“You mean to tell me, that Mr. Confidence is anxious about telling me he likes me?”

She nods in response as she eats her salad. You focus on your own food for a moment before speaking up.

“I’ve actually never been on a date before.” You begin. “And I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

Karen’s head flies up as she stares at you with wide eyes. “No way!”

You blush and nod. It really was never your fault. Your people skills in High School were very limited. Even after you entered college they were limited. Working as a private investigator helped a little but not a lot.

“I don’t even know where to begin in asking someone out.” You admit.

She considers the statement for a moment. “Then maybe we should come up with a plan.”

The smirk on her face says it all. For the rest of the picnic the both of you devise a scheme to tell Matt how you feel and a way to ask him on a proper date.

The week had come and gone in a flash. You all gather at Josies for your Friday night rituals. Same Table, Same Drinks, and Same People. Karen quickly takes a seat next to Foggy, which leaves you to sit next to Matt. You set your drink down before sliding into the chair. Matt looks over and smiles at you.

“Hey.” He says softly.

“Hi Matt.” You reply in the same tone. A blush slowly rises from your neck. The smile he gives you makes the butterflies that were in your stomach migrate to your chest. The warmth of his body sitting next to yours was comforting.

Throughout the night, everyone laughed and drank the woes of the work week away. Liquid confidence crawls through your vein, and once you have gotten enough of it you look at Karen and nod at her.

“Oh hey Matt! Y/n had something at their apartment for you!” Karen says abruptly changing the current topic. He raises an eyebrow before turning to face you.

“What would that be?” He asks curiously.

“Oh. Well, just a late Easter gift.” You stutter. “You’re still catholic right?”

Matt lets out a loud laugh which makes you smile. ‘Take a breath’ you tell yourself.

“Yeah, I guess I am still Catholic.” He replies. “Why don’t we go now. It’s getting a bit late.”

You nod, and give Karen and Foggy a smile. Of course in good Nelson manner, the other man gives you a thumbs up. Karen winks and mouths a quick ‘Good Luck’ before you and Matt stand and make your way out of the bar.

It's crisp outside. Not enough to need a jacket, but you could tell that summer was quickly turning into autumn. You both walk mostly in silence, besides the little jokes you both made to each other. It was crazy to think that the pining was mutual between you two. Outsiders could look and think you were already in a comfortable relationship.

Once you arrive at your apartment, you open the door and allow the both of you to enter. Setting your stuff on your counter, you offer Matt a glass of water. Happily he takes it and sit at your kitchen table.

“Wait right here a moment.” You say before disappearing into your room. Closing the door behind yourself, you lean against and take a big breath. Like you had been holding it in for ages.

You walk over to your small desk and retrieve the gift you had actually bought the day before. It was a small little box with a letter inside. Written in braille of course. Underneath the letter was a ticket to a candlelight orchestra.

Taking another deep breath, you step out from your room and head straight for Matt. He is waiting patiently in the same place he was before.

“Happy Easter, Matty.” You say quietly before handing him the small box. He grins as he takes it, opening it slowly.

His fingers gracefully take the letter out of the box before he sets it on the table.

“Braille?” He cocks an eyebrow. You nod.

“I wrote it myself.” A small smile forms on your face. Turns out learning how to read braille was hard. You had started it as a hobby a few years prior, and it finally came in handy.

Setting the paper on the table. His fingers glide over the page. You can see the smile growing on his face. Once he finishes reading your note, he turns his head in your direction. Anticipating his answer you forget to breathe.

“You like me?” He says shakily.

“Yeah, Matt. I really do.” You say with the rest of your breath.

His hand stretches out towards you and you grab his in return. You were shaking from the anxiety building up. He chuckles lightly when he feels the small tremors.

“And you want to go on a date with me?” You nod after his question.

“Only if you want to.” You let out.

“Of course I want to.” He says. “I’ve wanted to for a long time.”

“You did?” The realization was settling on your face. Karen had been telling the truth after all.

“Yeah and you know what Karen told me?”

“Hm?

“That you have never been on a date.” He grins. “And never been kissed.”

You were going to kill her. That’s on you though, she was the reason you were asking Matt out anyways. Your cheeks burned bright red as you stared at him.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, Matt Murdock.”

“Me? Or will it be your anxiety?” He quips.

“Touche.”

The night went on until the sun came up. It was the longest conversation you had ever mustered the courage to have with him. Nothing was awkward about it either. It was like you both had been friends forever, which was somewhat true. Maybe this was the start of a huge stepping stone in your life.

Matt didn’t seem to be bothered by your anxiety anyways. He always knew how to get around the minefields in your head. That's what drew you to him to begin with. Hopefully the first date would turn into more. You could only hope.

Secretly you thanked Karen for the way she helped you ask Matt out. Maybe all you needed was that one simple push. When he finally decided to go home, he wouldn’t let go of your hand. It was like he had become attached to you.

“I promise I’ll call you later.” He says

“Or maybe we can get some coffee once you do wake up?” You suggested.

“It’s date then.”

“Okay fine. It’s a date.” You say with a smile pushing him out your door.

#request #fic request #marvel #matthew murdock #matt murdock #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock fluff #getting together #fanfiction #fanfiction writer

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prettyblondguys · 1 year

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Eye Contact

Here have this Eddie comforting/being nice to reader fic i definitely didn't write bc I was feeling bad about my anxiety '_' Eddie is a very nice weirdo in this and I love him.

Warnings: reader has bad anxiety, mentions of an anxiety attack, minor mentions of tactile hallucinations bc those fkng suck, cussing, I think that's it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Open your eyes."

The demand throws you mentally off balance, eyes shooting open to stare at the teacher standing in front of you, the sentence you were in the middle of dying on your lips.

"What?" You smile nervously, feeling the looks from the other students sitting around you.

Mrs. Silmore, the history teacher, looked less than pleased by your question, her hands resting on her hips as she stares you down.

"You keep closing your eyes when you talk, and avoiding eye contact. It's very rude."

You hadn't noticed you were doing that, but the flood of embarrassment washes over you like a cold front, palms suddenly sweaty and mouth dry. You believe her, you knew you struggled with eye contact because of your anxiety, but you didn't know it was that bad, and certainly not that noticeable. And you didn't know you closed your eyes, but now that's all you can think about as you try to say something.

You had been answering a question about the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, feeling somewhat proud for making yourself raise your hand, something you were now regretting.

"Oh, oh um, I'm sorry.." You stutter out, feeling the heat flush to your cheeks as a few kids snicker, your mind going blank, "I was saying that...that uh..if he hadn't, hadn't been..there…" The snickers get louder, or maybe they don't, maybe they're just echoing through your head, bouncing around and ricocheting off the thoughts of "you're a freak" "who closes their eyes while talking?" "You're not normal" "you're not normal you're not normal you're not normal"

"Sorry," you mumble, voice pathetically small, willing yourself to keep eye contact, "I lost my train of thought."

"Hm," Mrs. Silmore walks back to the blackboard, finally looking away, "anyone else?"

Your eyes drop to your desk and stay there for the rest of class, trying to ignore the anxiety induced itch creeping along your arms. Freak. You just can't be normal, can you? The bell signals the end of your quiet suffering, and you stand to hurry out of the room, apologizing when you accidentally bump into someone in your haste, speeding out of the room before they even reply. Out in the hall you side step and avoid the barreling masses as you try to make your way to the bathroom, a ball forming and growing in your chest, crawling up your throat and making it hard to breathe. You burst through the bathroom door and grab hold of a sink, taking deep shuddering breaths as your fingers grip the basin, eyes squeezed shut. In, 1 2 3 4, hold, 1 2 3 4, out, 1 2 3 4 5 6. Repeat. The feeling shrinks and crawls back into your chest, nestled against your breastbone where it normally resides, smaller but never gone. Always there.

A group of girls walk in and shoot you glances, you recognize one of them, Nancy, you think, as she eyes you quizzically. "Hey, are you okay?" Freak. Freak. Freak. Your hands begin to shake as you turn the water on, "Yeah, I'm good." You manage, running your hands under the stream before turning it off, grabbing a few paper towels and brushing past her out into the hall, halfway to your next class when you realize you're still holding the paper towels. Why can't you be normal?

~~~~~~~~~~~

You finally reach free period and it couldn't have come sooner. You'd been stuck in your head ever since history class, well, more stuck than usual. Flytrap level stuck instead of scotch tape stuck. You sit on the bottom bleacher, staring out at the empty football field, mind swarming despite the fresh air and fair weather.

It hadn't even been the first time someone pointed out your social issues, just the most public. You couldn't count the number of times your parents had reprimanded you for not looking at them when speaking, or moving away when they went to touch you during a bad anxiety episode. They didn't understand that none of it was an insult to them, that you wished you could act like everyone else, laughing and talking and not having to worry if you were doing what a normal person would do, wondering if you were sitting like a normal person, talking like a normal person, existing like a normal person. They had no idea what it was like in your head, and boy oh boy, they sure didn't want to either.

Freak. Freak. Sitting here by yourself staring at nothing like a freak.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" The shout comes from a few feet away, from a guy standing on the bleacher seats and walking towards you, arms waving towards the empty field. He plops down beside you with a huff, "Can you believe he fumbled the ball like that?" He shakes his head harshly, shaggy hair whipping around as he sighs dramatically, eyes moving across the field as if watching a game. You remember him from the cafeteria a few times, always loud and energetic, not seeming to care who looked his way or what they thought of him. You had wondered many times how he could be so comfortable drawing that much attention to himself. But then again, dressed the way he was, in ripped black jeans and a leather jacket, chains and a shirt that fits him like that, he had to be more than ok with the looks he must get.

"Yeah," you mumble, wondering if he's crazy or just bored, "what a disgrace to the team." He lets out a snort before adding, "Oh, to the very game itself!" You laugh, deciding he must just be bored. You both sit there quietly, staring out at the field and not saying anything. Which is fine. Sometimes people do this. They just sit. This is normal. You aren't being weird. You aren't being weird. You're being weird. He's probably waiting for you to talk, he spoke last and now it's your turn. But it's been too long since the silence started, won't you look even weirder for a delayed comment as opposed to an absent one?

"Oh look, a streaker." He calmly breaks the silence for you, and you can't help the laugh that bubbles up, sharp and loud, your hand flying up to cover your mouth in embarrassment. "Come on," he continues, apparently spurred on by your outburst, "don't laugh at the poor guy, his bits don't look that weird." You laugh again, this time not bothering to suppress it. "You're right," you say, playing along, "I don't wanna give him a complex." He laughs, a deep, full laugh.

"Hey, don't worry about it, by the way," he says after a minute, eyes still fixed on the field. Confused, you rack your brain for what he could mean. "Huh?" He leans forward like he's suddenly enthralled by the imaginary game, then disappointedly slumping down. He's really invested in this bit, isn't he? "You skedaddled outta there before I could tell you." He explains, as if that explained anything. You slowly shake your head, more confused than ever. "Sorry?"

"COME ON COME ONE COME ON COME O- OHH, DAMNIT." He's suddenly standing up, screaming at the field. Nope. Not bored, crazy.

"History class," Oh. Was he there? Did he see? Of course he did if he was there. Was he snickering? The thoughts start flooding back. "You bumped into me," he clarifies, sitting back down. "You left before I could tell you not to worry about it."

"Oh."

"Not that I blame you," he adds, leaning back on his elbows, "Mrs. Silmore is a total soul-crusher."

"Yeah, I guess." Freak. Freak. Freak. He saw you. He thinks you're a freak. He's just trying to be nice because he feels bad for you.

"Yup. Eye contact is overrated." You chuckle at his words, feeling that ball of anxiety staying firmly snug in your chest, sated for the time being. "I'm just.." You start, choosing your words carefully, "not good at it, when..talking to people." He nods like it's the most normal thing, like I'm normal.

"Well, I won't look at you if you don't look at me."

You smile, yeah, definitely crazy. "Deal."

A few minutes pass in silence, although it's a comfortable silence this time, interrupted by Eddie letting out a long sigh.

"Would you look at that score? 0 to 0. What a terrible fake football game."

#soft eddie munson #eddie munson #eddie x reader #stranger things #eddie my beloved #eddie x anxious reader

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weebsinstash · 2 years

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block him and don't think too hard about it. it's okay if you feel bad, but keep him blocked. just do it and push it to the back of your mind! definetly a walking red flag cut him off and you'll be good!!

Well like. I keep telling myself "oh, give this dude a chance, maybe he's just extremely socially awkward, maybe he's from another culture and he doesn't realize this is weird" but like. Here

Like uh. Am I talking to an axe murderer or something or does he genuinely not see this as bizarre. This dude dodges questions like Matrix bullets. I'm almost wondering if he's testing how gullible and weak willed i am or something. And guess what 💀 my dumb ass never blocked him bc I brought up he was coming off as really creepy and he apologized and shit but like. This kind of. Reeks of. I dunno. It's very bizarre. Said he liked my name and wanted to see if I wanted to be friends but he said that only after I had to question him so. Now I just feel like if I block him now then I'M the asshole. Which is fucked up right?

Also like even if he wasn't acting sketch as fuck he says he lives in Florida and he's 24 so 1. He's younger than me 2. Florida sucks and 3. We could never meet in person or whatever so idk what his game plan is. I lowkey feel like he's looking for girls to try and get them to send nudes or something. His English is also kind of off to me which doesn't inherently mean anything but idk it just makes me think of phishers and scammers

I would just. Also like to point out. How it just. Is really jumping out to me that my trauma manifests as risking my own safety to placate others. Because I can list so many things wrong with this entire interaction and im sitting here talking about video games with him because I feel guilty to end the conversation 💀 fucking. Stupid ass voice in the back of my head "but what if you block him and hurt his feelings 😥 you don't want to make someone SAD do you"

Like dude if you're seeing this right now this entire thing has given me so much fucking anxiety about randomly talking to people. Straight up the only reason I replied is because of THIS blog and I assumed maybe he knew me from here or ao3 but. Nope! Just homegrown lonely dude randomly hitting me up?

God. God. Fuck. This is actually really starting to piss me of, less now about him even and more about how I can't even. Choose for myself. Protect myself. I dont know. Jesus. Every time I'm about to go through with it I either get a new nice message that makes me feel bad for considering it or. I dunno. I dunno how to even verbalize this. I guess I have a psychological idk THING about being terrified of upsetting people (i guess because my brain instantly correlates someone being angry or upset with the immediate threat of physical violence onto myself, thanks dad)

this is not even like. The only weird message I've ever gotten. I feel bad even talking about it because Im the one having the conversation and letting it continue. I should just try and smoke and sleep soon. I've been working overnight shifts now and when I get off work I just feel too drained to deal with this kind of thing. Idk. Hopefully I make some sort of decision soon so I can at least stop beating myself up over the indecision

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hella1975 · 1 year

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hey I have life advice to ask and if it's not cool then just go ahead and delete this-

I'm gonna be 17 soon and I was pulled out of school due to stuff I couldn't really control, so I dont really have a college/university to expect in about 2 years ish if I cant pull through out of my depression/anxiety and take the GED tests (american testing, its like a substitute for a highschool diploma, which is.... shit idk the differences to england but either way if I cant study and complete 4 giant tests, colleges/universities wont be available to me. I think.). I really could just move about anywhere I'm able to, and there's this place that I really, really love. I've done everything I can to know about it besides GOING there, because it is incredibly far away from my home. Really fucking far. It's been smth of an idea of mine I've held on to a year, like all the towns and places I dive into I just keep coming back to that spot. It feels like the one, like I can't really see myself growing old because of my depression but I can SEE it there, and I've never felt that.

The thing is I know from a few older mutuals of mine (and just other adults in gen) that things can change and while you might go to uni/college for [X Thing] you'll come out with something else you found so you'll now have [Y Thing]. like what you're expecting or want is going to change as you learn more or delve into it. I don't know how much I should take that to heart really? There's this fear that's been placed into me that I can't actually think for myself if I'm always going to be changing. I'm so confident about this rn but what about later? Sorry if this freaks you out too JFNSJMW like we're about 2-3 years apart but it just feels like so MUCH, I wanted your advice since you've got the uni experience I might miss out on

(My family is fine really like they're not going to kick me out or anything, they've just got other problems ig that I'd like to escape from because a lot of what they do has me just.. stuck with myself. It sucks being a teenager because I'm just in the middle of it all)

hi anonstie! sorry for the slow reply to this, i hope im not too late to any decision making. thank you so much for trusting me with this, it's a really scary situation for any teenager deciding on something that seems so defining, let alone with mental illness factors and possible family pressures. trust me I GET THAT. so everything i say is my opinion very tainted by my own bias and personal experiences, but you know that and asked me anyway so im gonna assume we're clear on that okay:

so as someone who not only has the uni experience but overall LOVES uni like could not have picked a better option i love my uni life i love my friends i love my independence so much that i stick doing a subject i HATE bc i love my life here so much - coming from someone in that position, you want to know what i think? if you're not sure about going to uni and genuinely think you'd be happier elsewhere, do not go. im being so serious. university is a challenge, and people know that, but you have to take what you think it's gonna be like and double how hard it really is. it's a fucking culture shock and a half and even those who settle in well (i like to think i did) still have trouble finding their feet, and it's fucking scary. you have to have a level of certainty to manage it. idk maybe im being too extreme here but ive seen so many people who regret uni and are the loneliest they've ever been, and if you already have mental illness weighing on you that's not a boat you want to be in even if you might not end up like that.

the option does not vanish just because you didn't do it at the 'correct' age. i can see ur stress around the exams and while i know fuck all about american education, i refuse to believe there's no ways around it or ways to redo at a later time, or even if you do just wind up with not very good qualifications, somewhere will take you. i was convinced that if i didnt get out of my hometwon at 18 with the natural progression in academia then i would be stuck there forever, and part of me still believes that no matter how silly it is, which is why i outright refuse to drop my subject even on the days when it eats me alive, because i think if i drop out i'll get stuck in my hometown. uni was an escape for me and that's one of the reasons i love it so much. but over time, while it still lingers i wont pretend it doesnt, ive realised how wrong that mindset is. there's so many types of people at university. some people come onto campus with their children. some people are middle-aged. some people just did a gap year. my own flatmate is a second year uni student just like us but she's a year older bc she dropped out of first year bc of covid and reapplied. uni made me realise how common MESSINESS is. i hardly know anyone who got here on the really straight and narrow route, and maybe that's just part of being the covid cohort who knows but there's not a 'correct' way of doing things.

idk i think school is very rigid UNTIL you reach eighteen, and bc the universe is such a bitch you only realise how fluid everything gets post-eighteen ONCE YOUVE MADE THE DECISIONS.

so yeah, if you want to know what i think? chase that place that's calling to you. worst case scenario is it lets you down but you finally scratch the itch; that alone is something to live for. if you ever change your mind, university and that path isn't going anywhere. there's always so much choice, we just sometimes box ourselves in until it feels like there isnt

#i feel for you genuinely you couldnt pay me any money in the world to be 18 and scared again #it's truly fucked how little guidance we get just to turn a corner and realise everything truly is fine #like geniunely things work themselves out and adulthood teaches you that #there are scary awful horrible horrible times of course. but you have autonomy and there's always options #it's not as overwhelming anymore #ask

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theloveinc · 2 years

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this is v v random and you dont have to answer if you dont want to bc it IS personal, but i wanted to ask abt ur experience on wellbutrin? in terms of like, getting energy or feeling tired, sleepy? im worried about it making me sleepy/tired/brain fog (im 26 n BUSY as heck) again, dont have to answer at all, just asking bc i know youre quite open n honest on stuff so i thought id give it a shot and ask about your experience n like. ur pros & cons if thats okay. anyways thank u lub u legend bye <3

🥺Legend, of course u can ask!! I'm probably not the best choice, given I've only been on it since early June (and some people, much longer)... but honestly, in terms of brain fog and sleep... I have had almost literally NO issues and am all positive reviews here (...kinda).

One of the reasons I was prescribed it actually was for excessive sleepiness and brain fog (I get horrible, horrible brain fog normally and I have for years.)... and even though the results have been somewhat inconsistent since I've switched dosages like three times (and was off for a bit), literally it's helped SOOOOO much.

Obviously, people's reactions are going to be different, a moot (who I can tag but don't want to like... expose)(edit: @ace-of-books in the replies of this post!!!) on here told me Wellbutrin actually keeps her awake to the point where she needs mild sedatives to sleep... but I've honestly found I have no trouble actually going to sleep once I actually decide to (I like to use my phone in bed so I partially blame some sleep issues on that, but... you know) and waking up has gotten way, WAY easier.

(Also, with my new dosage, I take it twice a day and it's the NON-time release pills, and I've noticed that actually I haven't been as tired getting into bed usually... but someone told me this would go away once I fully adjusted AND I didn't have that problem on the time released capsules I took initially. Also it could just be that I've been taking a lot of naps at 8pm LMAOOO AND it doesn't actually bother me since the brain fog has been very reduced! *skips and jumps and claps feet together like a little leprechaun*🤩🤩🤩)

So yeah. More issues with... not being able to sleep than with being sleepy in the daytime. Thought when I was taking my more concentrated dose, if I had caffeine with it, things would get a little WoOoOooooOOOOooo funny🤡!!! at first.

As for cons... it's so funny because when I switched dosages the first time, I was like "omg these pills suck they stopped working after like, a month..." THAT WAS NOT TRUE LMAOOO. I HAD JUST GOTTEN USED TO THEM, and when I moved on to a higher dosage (150mg once a day to 150 TWICE a day🥶😨😱), I literally went insane (crying over mild inconveniences IN PUBLIC. I could think too hard and I would cry. Keep me awake over anxiety literally non-stop type insane).

And then, when I subsequently stopped taking them and it faded(?) from my system, it became very clear I actually was... worse off without them and I was extremely happy to go back on

I could always get used to it again, but right now I feel GREAT and literally kind of spring out of bed when I need to be up. No more lazing about waiting for my mind to work, it just does for the most part.

(Though I do get tired in the day because my schedule is awful, and also still crave sleeping a lot when I am in bed, it's just when I do wake + get up the adjustment period from sleepy time to being awake is almost... instant. So that, I would say, is fantastic).

ANYWHOOOO, this is kind of a long-winded answer that I answered sort of... backwards (talking about lack of sleep vs. excessive sleep), but... my experience has been so positive, even despite the dosage changes and the fact that it obviously hasn't cured my depression entirely. I just haven't had any issues with it making me tired at all, and it's FIXED my brainfog, which I guess is the answer to your question!

BUT, and I'm just gonna say this for legal reasons cuz I'm sure you already know, talk to your doctor/a medical professional first before making any decisions! Don't base taking it entirely off of ME because I also know people who experienced nothing positive on Wellbutrin at all. Not me, tho. But that can be common.

Thanks for reading this all (and being sooo sweet I lub you too + am kissing you), if you did! And no worries if you didn't, but good luck with whatever ends up happening!💕💕💕

#me and wellbutrin are besties #except if theres too much of her...#(i had a very public breakdown)#then i need a break. but me and small doses?? THAT'S MY HOMEGIRL #would literally make out with my pills if i could (thats gross sorry)#and ig some other things to consider:#i really experience nothing negative from birth control pills either so... idk if that changes anything #but it could be i'm just okay with medicine #and also i tried uhhh prozac and even tho nothing bad happened really... actually my grades tanked BUT...#it really just didnt work #so those are my other experiences with medication and idk if add or take away from this #but yeah!! i'd really recommend it for issues like preexisting brainfog and tiredness #not sure if it will ... make things revert for you #but yeah!#i'm super super busy too and it really didn't affect me much except positively #like when i started taking it i was on a break.. BUT when i started it a second time ... i had no problems adjusting with my schedule #which was nice #anyway i'll go now and im hoping this is helpful!!!#and not confusing #BYE.#<3333 #caitie answers #anon

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1998-lbs · 2 years

Text

Making this post to pin on my blog📌

PLEASE BLOCK, DON’T REPORT

⚠️ TW: ㅌAT!NG D!S•RDㅌR ⚠️

If you’re uncomfortable with me following you, please block me! I totally understand!!

This is my only outlet. I don’t wish this illness on anyone and I fully support and encourage recovery!!

Used to be 1998lbs but I got ✨tㅌrm1んat3d✨ after 5 years 😭

24 y/o, she/her

Height: 5’3

HW: 185 (2023)

LW: 141 (2018)

CW: 183 🔑

GW1: 175 🔒

GW2: 165 🔒

GW3: 154 🔒

GW4: 148 🔒

GW5: 143 🔒

GW6: 138 🔒

✨UGW: 130 🔒

I just want to look tight and toned. But also t¡ny. I swing violently between healthy choices and r35trict¡0n.

About me:

💊 I was recovered for a while, but my long journey to find the right antidepressants lead me to g4in like 30 p•unds so here I am. Dis•rdered but generally not depressed anymore— an unusual combo but nevertheless I exist 🤷🏻‍♀️ I still have anxiety though. Better than it used to be, but not all gone. I self medicate her by occasionally vaping the devil’s lettuce 🍃

🌾 I’m gluten-free and dairy-free! Celiac disease runs in my family but I’m just gluten intolerant, not celiac. As for milk, I tried all the lactose free stuff and was still getting sick so I just avoid dairy entirely. I’ve been this way for about 10 years now so it’s totally normal for me.

💿 I’m a casual kpop fan since 2011 and former diehard ARMY. Stanned BTS from 2015 to 2019 and I still randomly have dreams about meeting/being friends with Jungkook lmao. I listen to almost all the newest kpop releases but I rarely know group members by name.

✈️ I’ve been studying Japanese on and off for a long time. Someday I want to visit Japan and Korea and shop for clothes, but rn I’m broke and ✨not sk1んny enough✨ Oh and I’m not fluent yet. I think I'm somewhere between N4 and N3. I keep telling myself I’ll start learning Korean once I’m fluent in spoken Japanese but I keep slacking 🤦🏻‍♀️

💋 I have a boyfriend of nearly 4 years, but I wouldn’t call myself entirely straight. Labels are tough but I guess I lean bi?? Never dated a girl but if things flop with my current partner I think I’d be open to trying it bc women are immaculate 🔥 and men usually piss me off 🙄 current bf included 🤦🏻‍♀️

💬 I am majorly socially awkward and suck at keeping in touch with anyone. I don’t have many friends irl. Just know that if you message me I will be really excited and will really appreciate it but I might not answer you 😅 I just never know what to say; it’s really hard. I also have ADHD and might straight up forget to reply. I don’t mean to. I want friends. It’s just hard for me 🥺 so I’m sorry in advance. 💜

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aetherstorms · 1 year

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anon vc: i'm so glad that i've found you ; ; i know i say this so often but i really mean it. we plot so many cool things together and made up such a great story in ancient times with world building at all. it has been more than a year now and even now i'm super excited to get a notif from you bc you replied. that's exactly what i hoped for when coming back to rp. you're one of my best friends and i hope we keep in contact in the future too ; ; like you're such a good friend and so fun to talk with ; ;

Eeeee!

The day you contacted me was the same day I switched over to being a multi-muse blog, and though you told me you were there for Emet we've had so much more fun by my being a multi-muse, I think. I had about given up hope because I didn't know how to engage with anyone who didn't start a dialogue (and I still don't. Anxiety just grabs me by the throat at the idea of bothering someone, but then I figure it must be the same for them, so thank you for being brave that day!)

I have loved worldbuilding with you. I've always longed for friends who will actually worldbuild with me, but they're so rare and usually just sit on their hands, making me do all the work. But you not only let me into the world you'd already constructed, but then you let me play in your sandbox and help you expand it. That it's still evolving even now is thrilling as we come up with new ideas to slot into stuff we've already come up with.

You're one of my best friends too, and I always look forward to talking to you. It just sucks that we live in such different timezones, but we make it work out somehow.

#meme reply #avalcn

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streaming-yn · 3 years

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Hi, its Grim anon! I was wondering if I could request a platonic bench trio with y/n (she/her) who is very open about her affection for the three (constantly complimenting them, saying ily, etc.), but lately she's been worried that people will take it the wrong way so she's stopped? And now they're like. Where's my Y/N validation? :(

yep yep!! here you go, grim anon! ^^ sorry if I got a bit off track? I'm not sure if I did or not!

platonic!BenchTrio x affectionate!y/n

pronouns: she/her

other information on the reader:

. minor

. very open with her affection

. minecraft streamer

. faceless streamer

. it's against her boundaries for anyone other than friends to use her real name

warnings: sexism/misogyny (ends well, the haters are addressed), idk but the "girl near streamer I like? ew wtf 😒" type of hate (also gets addressed n shut down), little angst, distancing yourself from friends, trying to change yourself, cussing, mention of "weird comments" made towards y/n *ALL OF THESE ISSUES ARE ADDRESSED AND SHUT DOWN THOUGH !!!

form: headcanons

summary: y/n is super openly affectionate with all of her friends! unfortunately, a lot of people think that's a negative thing, though Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo notice y/n's change and get to the bottom of it to fix the issue ^^

genre: platonic, little angst, fluff(?) after it gets found out, hurt to comfort type of deal ^^

abbreviations: s/n -> streamer name, y/n -> your name

note: I'm not very good at angst yet so I'm sorry if it kinda sucks !! :(

you were very in touch with your loving side and showed all your friends affection very openly and however you could

unfortunately, since y'all didn't live near each other that meant that you had to wait for visits for like hugs n stuff :(

at first you didn't think much of it, affection was a normal thing between friends, why do it differently on stream?

you would often tell the boys how much you loved them and we're genuinely happy and grateful that y'all were friends

complements and validation paired with this, naturally

the boys looked forward to streams with you, not only because you where best friends but for the serotonin that your affection brought :D

actually!! on streams with all of you together, it wouldn't be uncommon for tommy, tubbo, and ranboo to playfully fight over your affection

it would be in different ways though, like with Tommy, you would complement either ranboo or tubbo and if you didn't state a name tommy would be like "THAT WAS MENT FOR ME, (TUBBO/RANBOO)" after they thanked you

meanwhile tubbo would either go on about betrayal and how you didn't love him anymore and he's going to run away or he would do something along the lines of ":(( what about meee"

and ranboo, if the compliment wasn't aimed at him, even if you clearly added tommy or tubbo's name at the end, would always reply "thank you" or something similar

however it's different if the compliment is directed at them!

ranboo would thank you, do a small laugh that's half flustered half awkward, and then complement you back (he got less awkward and flustered as he got more used to it though!)

you could hear the smile in tubbo's voice as he loudly thanks you and gives you like 3 compliments in return

tommy, it would depend if either of y'all are streaming or not! yes? "I know" all jokingly cocky like. no? "thank you, I guess" he says it as a half joke, it's a genuine thank you, but he likes keeping it playful so the "I guess" is thrown on, it's random if he gives you a complement back or not, it's literally not even dependant on how he feels, it just at random

also I feel like you and Tommy would have like a "ily!! /p" "ew /j" bit, very often I will add 👍

like while your streaming you like "tommy!! I love you, thank you for being my friend :)" and him, completely disregarding the last bit, would reply "EWW, Y/N YOU DO KNOW IM I MINOR CORRECT??"

if him ever saying ew hurts your feelings then he won't say it, however he will say the rest, unless him deflecting your "ily" makes you feel bad as well, it's fairly easy to crack him to say it back since you're best friends

a lot of back and forth, but not too hard since he never wants to genuinely hurt you

ALSO if you complement him (on stream ofc) he will find a way to turn it around, not onto you, but just turning into something too tame to be labeled and insult but definitely something close!

"I like your sunglasses!!" "oH??? SO YOU DONT LIKE MY EYES??? THANKS S/N"

(also feel like tubbo might do this)

ofc would stop if it makes you sad/uncomfortable/etc

with ranboo though, he might occasionally do that, but it's way more often for you two to get into complementing matches (just going back and forth with complements)

you also sometimes do the "ily more" thing, just because it's funny bc it's like a cringe romance movie thing, y'all never do it on stream though because ppl might make it weird, and some friend quirks are better kept private anyway, just a you two thing :)

occasionally the "no you hang up first" too, except you both play they teen girl waving her hand and saying it the most high pitched voice she can. it's so funny hearing ranboo going so high 💀💀

as a rising streamer, of course you have Twitter, and your subtwt isn't toxic – due to your personality and stuff, the people you attract to your content are all pretty loving and chill! ofc there's a few bad eggs, but that's just what happens, you choose to ignore those few

but since you've gotten more popular, people finding you through your more popular friends, you've seen a rise of tweets mentioning you, whether it be in general or in the boy's replies

you're glad to be getting more popular, now you can find more people who seek comfort from your content, which was your goal when you started anyway! so it's all exciting! ..at first.

rise in people means rise of people in the toxic 1%, and also means rise of haters or people who just don't like you

sometimes you come across tweets like "why does y/n feel the need to be around ranboo, tubbo, and tommy? leave them alone ffs, she got her fame she wanted, she can leave now 🙄✋" and "we get it, girl streamers are less talented so you needed to leech off they boys' talent! like is she done yet or??" or occasional tweets saying something about shipping – which is against not only your boundaries but all of they boys' as well.

the replies being full of "use s/n, using her real name is breaking her boundaries! and if you have an issue, then don't watch the streams she's in, dickhead!", "you could just mute her name on here and not follow her twitch, you're being overdramatic for no reason", "hey hey, remember that s/n checks her indirects", "ew, deactivate", "aw, are you scared bc a girl is better than you at gaming? aw you gonna cry??", etc, makes you feel a bit better, but the punch from the original tweet lingers

after seeing a bit more, you saw the majority of the haters – and weird people – you saw the root of it was probably because you were so affectionate towards you friends and just being around them in general

so, it'd be best to stop, right? don't participate in as many streams, stop being so affectionate in general, to be honest you were already quite anxious that you being so "clingy" was annoying, the hate just solidified it

so you have a plan in line, the hard part is executing it :(

to start, you stopped complimenting them as much on stream, and the late phone calls lessened, and those became more and more noticeable before you "got too busy" to be in as many streams as you used to

I feel like ranboo would notice first and try talking to you before bringing it up to tommy and tubbo, but when you replied "oh! yeah I'm good dw :)" he knew it was a lie and went to the others

"what do you think is going on?" "I'm not sure" "whatever it is, do you think this is why she stopped being so affectionate? I miss it"

then it clicked for tommy while ranboo and tubbo still tried to figure it out

"do you think it's family problems?" "no, last time they has family problems they became more clingy and their phone calls were more frequent, not-" "wait wait wait"

tommy checked your social media platforms, of course they had more followers than before

"what? tommy?" "I think it's more of an online hate problem" tommy leaned back in his chair, running his hands over his face before looking over at the discord call as the two others made sounds of shock, "yeah, this started after her platform got bigger and she got more well known" "..you're right" "how- how do we fix it?" "address it on a stream?" "no, no, not yet, I think we should contact y/n first, see if she'll tell us if we're right or not" "I could try? last time I texted her she responded pretty quickly so maybe that still applies?" "yeah, tell us if we're right or not and we'll continue from there"

so ranboo texted you, making sure to form the text to get to the point but not scare you, he knows how anxiety inducing confrontation, especially from friends, can be for you

you didn't know exactly how to respond, would it be better if you lied? or would the truth be better?

after a few times of the "..." appearing and disappearing on ranboo's screen before you message of ",, yeah, that is the reason actually ;; I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I thought it'd be better to just distance myself :(" sent through

the boys on call could hear the frown in ranboo's voice when he sighed and said "oh" "were we right?" "just a second"

ranboo replied to you, reassuring you that you don't don't have to apologize for not telling them and it isn't your fault, making sure to remind you that you can come to either him, tommy, or tubbo whenever you want

"yeah, she got hate, and I guarantee that if we go through her indirects then we'll see what exactly happened, we may have to scroll a bit though" so they searched around on Twitter and found some, then tubbo spoke "do you think she would want to join call so we can figure out what to do to fix this?" "I can text her, though maybe we can more of distract and comfort her tonight? we can talk about the hate and stuff another time" "yeah yeah, I think that's a good idea"

so he texted you to see if you'd like to join the call, you accepted and ended up playing video games with them – mainly Minecraft servers – for a few hours before tommy had you and ranboo (assuming you're in the US or close) sign off to get some sleep (if you're in the UK or close, he had you and tubbo sign off and then signed off himself for some sleep)

the next day you guys hopped back on call to discuss how you guys would fix it, as well as them giving a bunch of positive comments about your affection :)

you guys decided on a serious stream from Tommy's account, it was either tommy or ranboo's account, but you guys chose tommy bc he's not anxious about turning off donos and other things

you guys discussed that the hate you were getting was uncalled for, and the weird comments were to be stopped immediately.

"I think that's everything? y/n, anything else?" "yeah I think that's about it, thank you guys so much!!" "alright, one more thing before we go- chat- chat, if you have an issue with y/n being in our streams just don't watch our streams! if you don't like y/n we don't want you here" "tommyyyy :(( (/pos)" "wait wait!! chat, if anyone asks or is being rude either spread clips on the stream or screenshots of the tweets we posted!! we want to make sure that everyone – even those not watching the stream – are informed!" "alright, bye chat, I better not see any more y/n negativity!!"

there wasn't negativity in chat when you went to check btw :)! it was in emote-only bc they thought it'd be the best thing to do and most of the chat was filled with hearts and other positive emotes! <33

now whenever hate stuff it posted the replies have screenshots of either tommy, tubbo, or ranboo's tweets, links to the VOD, or clips, stating the most important and the tweet is usually taken down within a matter of hours – days sometimes

and after that everything was back to normal!! you started complimenting them again, telling them how much you love them again, etc etc! you even got back into late calls :)

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bbyannabeth · 3 years

Note

Hii I love ur writing !!! Can u plss write a fic where percy and annabeth are skinny dipping in the camp lake and calypso or someone walks in on them and gets jealous?? Thanku so much !!

hii, thank you so much<3 i couldn’t really find a way to have someone actually get jealous, like it didn’t make a lot of sense to me BUT i still hope you like this bc i actually think it turned out rly cute🥺

“percy,” annabeth hissed as he stripped off his shirt. she looked around even though it was the middle of the night and the cleaning harpies were nowhere to be seen. “you can’t be serious.”

“come on, beth,” he smiled, kicking his shoes off. “live a little.”

“live a little?” she scoffed. “i have enough excitement in my life, i don’t need to skinny dip at camp, thank you. what if we get caught?”

“by who?” he asked, slipping his sweatpants off and leaving him in boxers. annabeth hated to admit it, but she could already feel her resolve waning. he was right, there was no one around. percy stepped closer to her, hands finding the hem of her shirt. she let him slide it over her head.

“this is a bad idea,” she tried again. but still she took off her shoes, and then percy’s fingers were in the waistband of her shorts. the warm july air wrapped around them, but annabeth still had goosebumps all over her skin. she was pretty sure that had more to do with percy taking off her clothes than the barely there chill of the wind.

it was their last summer there as campers, seeing as they would be turning 18 that year and then heading off to new rome for the fall. that was the reason percy had suggested skinny dipping. let’s go out with a bang, he’d said. annabeth hated that it wasn’t the worst idea he could’ve had.

his palms pressed against her bare waist and she shivered. percy leaned down to kiss her, which was a poor distraction for the way his fingers reached for the clasp of her bralette two seconds later. despite the several times he’s done this, he still struggled a little when it came to unhooking it, making annabeth giggle.

“don’t laugh at me,” he huffed. “it’s hard.”

“mhm,” she hummed. “very hard.”

the straps of her bra were then being slid down her arms and she glanced around again, still worried that someone would see them. “we’ll be fine, beth,” he promised.

“if we get caught, i’m blaming you,” she said. and then their underwear joined the pile of clothing on the dock. and maybe they should’ve climbed down the ladder or tried to slip in quietly, so they didn’t draw any attention to themselves, but percy had other plans. he grabbed her hand and didn’t think twice before jumping into the water, pulling her in with him.

their hands never broke, even when they surfaced. “percy!” she scolded, but she couldn’t help her laughter. “we’re so loud.”

“who cares?” he said, bringing her closer. “we’ve saved the world twice, and we’ve been to hell and back. we deserve some fun. who’s gonna stop us?”

“chiron? the harpies?” she shot back, only half serious. he was right again. they deserved some fun and even if they did get caught, it wasn’t likely that they’d get in trouble.

“yeah, whatever,” he shrugged. and then his hand slipped from hers, and he smiled that stupid, troublemaker grin she was so in love with. his fingertips touched her shoulder. “tag!” he said before swimming off, which was completely unfair given that he could control every drop of water around them.

“hey!” she protested, chasing him. they went back and forth for a while, and thankfully, percy seemed to not use his advantage of being the son of poseidon.

except once, when he was chasing her and then suddenly, despite her arms and legs propelling her forward, she stopped moving completely. within seconds, percy’s arm was around her waist. “tag,” he whispered, holding her close and turning her to face him.

“you cheated!” she replied.

“oh well,” was all he said before leaning in and kissing her. annabeth hummed indignantly but wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back. percy must’ve used the water to keep them afloat and still because both of them had stopped treading water, only focused on each other.

it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes before they heard, “well, well, well.”

annabeth snapped away, anxiety settling in immediately, only to dissipate a few seconds later. on the dock stood piper, her hands on her hips and a knowing smile on her face. “what do we have here?” she asked playfully. she bent down, and held up annabeth’s bra by the strap. “pretty incriminating, if you ask me.”

“what are you doing up so late, mclean?” percy asked, a light smile on his face.

“i could ask you the same,” piper said, dropping the garment back to the ground. “i was awake earlier, though, when i saw you guys sneaking away. at first, i left it alone. but then i got curious so i started looking for you.

“and you guys are very loud,” piper continued, a laugh bubbling out of her throat. “so it didn’t take long to find you.”

annabeth glared at percy. “told you we were too loud!”

“oh hush, it’s just piper,” he said back.

“it could’ve been someone else, though,” annabeth grumbled.

“i’m a little jealous i’ve never thought about this,” piper said, eyes flitting all around the lake. “i’ll have to bring jason out here one night.”

“no way, mclean,” percy said. “this is my turf, find your own.”

piper wrinkled her nose. “you suck,” she said. “and yes i will be bringing him out here unless you want chiron to know that you were out here tonight.”

“i hate you,” percy said.

“yeah, yeah,” piper shrugged. “i’ll see you both in the morning. please don’t have too much fun in there, we all like to swim in that lake, you know.”

annabeth’s cheeks flushed as she tucked her face into percy’s neck. “goodnight, piper,” she called, the finality in her voice making it clear this conversation was over.

“night night,” piper said sweetly before leaving them alone.

for a moment, percy just held annabeth close, his hands running over her back. “told you we’d get caught,” she mumbled finally, making him laugh.

“could’ve been worse,” he said, which was definitely true. “do you wanna get out?”

annabeth lifted her head up from his neck and looked at him. his wet hair was pushed back and his skin glowed silver under the moonlight. like always, he was beautiful and she didn’t want this moment to end just yet.

“in a little bit,” she answered before leaning in and kissing him again. percy didn’t seem to have any issues with that, only pulling her closer.

if u saw any typos no u didnt<3

#percabeth #annabeth chase #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #hoo #heroes of olympus #fic #gray writes

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islesnucks · 3 years

Text

THE NANNY - ELIAS PETTERSSON X READER

inspired by this fragment of what bo said in a interview about letting the team babysit Gunnar

ps: i don’t know if they nicknamed him Gunnsey, just saw Jake call him that once

ps2: this is not proofread so just a warning

Word count: 3.4 k (a bit longer than what i usually do)

Warnings: kidnap is mention a couple times jokingly bc petey at first thinks Y/N’s kidnapping the kid, even though it’s meant 100% as a joke i know it could be triggering so just letting you know, however just in case keep in mind it’s never used seriously

Summary: Elias doesn’t know Bo and Holly hired a nanny so the first time he sees you with the baby he freaks out a little, eventually apologizes and there's fluff (i suck at summaries)

Masterlist

Add yourself to the taglist!

Elias was coming out of the dressing room when he saw you rushing down the hall with a little kid in your arms that he knew for sure wasn’t yours, because it was in fact his captain's son. So he did what seemed like the reasonable thing to do: look for Bo or Holly to tell them. Luckily Bo was near the door finishing his interview with a couple reporters.

“Hey Bo?” he approached him as soon as the reporters left.

“What Petey?” He could see the alarmed look on the boy’s face.

“I think I saw a girl running away with your kid.” he told Bo, who was about to lose it when he saw you walking down the hall in their direction with his son in your arms. He let out a relieving sigh, making Elias confused. If it was his child he definitely would be calling 911 by now.

“Is that the girl you were talking about?” Bo asked, pointing at you. The hall had become more crowded since the rest of his teammates started coming out, but he could see you as you stretched your neck and looked around for someone. Elias nodded, getting more confused by the second.

“That’s our nanny dumbass.” he informed him, hitting him in the back of the head for making him needlessly worry.

“A Nanny?”

“Yes a nanny Elias. She looks after our kid, takes care of him. Don’t they have those in Sweden?” He knew what a nanny was and Bo’s sarcastic remark only made him feel more stupid. Of course you were the nanny, it was pretty obvious, now that he looked at you he could see you were carrying the bag Holly normally brought everywhere with Gunnar’s stuff.

“They do I just-” he started to defend himself but instantly shut up when he saw you appear next to him.

“Hey look it’s your daddy!” you said to little Gunnar in your arms as the baby stretched his arms toward his father making grabby hands. Bo smiled at his son and took him in his arms, but you could tell there was a bit of concern on his face.

”Is everything, okay?” you asked.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s just that Petey here though you were kidnapping Gunnar and almost gave me a heart attack.” Bo explained. Elias looked down embarrassed as his cheeks turned red. You on the other hand were too busy panicking to even notice the blushing mess standing next to you.

The Horvats had hired you mainly to help Holly around the house since she was getting back to her work and especially when Bo had to go on roadtrips. They also wanted Gunnar to get familiar with you, that’s why you were there tonight. This was your first time with them out of the house, if you did something wrong they wouldn’t trust you so they would probably fire you and you really needed the job.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry! I forgot my phone back on our seats and Holly had gone to the bathroom and you were still in there and I couldn’t leave him alone-”

“Y/N don’t worry. It’s fine.” he interrupted you with a sweet tone that made you ease the anxiety that started building up at the thought of losing your job before it even really started.

“I’m so sorry I should have told you before disappearing with Gunnsey.”

“Really don’t worry Y/N.” he kept reassuring you, but you couldn't shake off that bad feeling.

“What happened?” Holly asked after joining you and seeing your expression.

“Nothing, just a little misunderstanding Everything’s okay Y/N, really don’t worry.” Bo answered before you could and gave you a sweet smile that helped you calm your nerves. He would obviously tell Holly when they were back home, but it wasn’t a big deal and he didn’t want to make you feel like they were coming down on you.

Elias was starting to feel a bit out of place there so he excused himself, said goodbye and left to find his friends, but not before giving you one final look. Now that he didn’t think you were trying to kidnap his teammate's kid he found you really pretty and felt even worse for what he made you go through. You were smiling and chatting with Bo and Holly about the game, but he could see you were still a bit nervous.

He made his way towards Jake, Quinn and Brock, who were already looking at him suggestively after seeing the whole interaction, completely obvious to the fact their friend had actually screwed up big time.

“Who’s that?” Brock was the first to ask, wiggling his eyebrows.

“She’s Bo and Holly’s new nanny.”

“I didn’t know they hired a nanny.” Quinn was the one talking now.

“Yeah, me neither and I kind of thought she was kidnapping Gunnsey-” he started to explain but instantly regretted it when he saw the looks on his friend’s faces. He was never going to hear the end of this.

“No you didn’t!” Brock cut him off and everyone started laughing, everyone except Elias who just shook his head trying once again to hide his embarrassment.

“Way to make a first impression Petey. She must hate you.” Jake said putting his arm around Elias.

“Fuck off.” he replied pushing his arm off and walking away towards the parking lot as he heard their laughs behind him. He was not in the mood to endure the teasing from his friends.

On the drive to his apartment he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He knew Bo and Holly weren’t going to fire you, they were nice reasonable people who understood it was all a misunderstanding; a misunderstanding caused by him. Yet he couldn’t shake off the feeling he should have said something or at least apologize. So he promised himself that was the exact thing he was gonna do when he saw you again.

The next time Elias saw you was a couple weeks later. Bo and Holly were hosting a barbecue for the whole team and had asked you to come over and help look after Gunnar while they prepared everything.

Elias walked into the house with one thing in mind: apologizing to you. However as he made his way through the house towards the backyard he couldn’t find you anywhere. He took a sit next to a sit with the rest of his teammates and tried to make casual conversation but his mind was stuck on you.

Bo noticed the way Elias was barely talking and constantly looking around for someone and it didn’t take him long to realize that someone was you. Elias had asked him about you a couple times at practice and games after what had happened the other night, but he still didn’t know if he was just being polite and wanted to apologize or there was something more going on.

“She’s inside playing with Gunnar in his room.” Bo leaned in to tell him so the rest wouldn’t hear, then he simply turned around and continued working on the grill. Elias was a bit confused at first, he didn’t understand how Bo could even know what he was even thinking about. However he quickly stood up mumbling some excuse about going to the bathroom and headed towards the house.

He found you sitting on a little couch with Gunnar in your lap reading a book. You were too focused on explaining the drawings on the pages to the kid to notice his presence. Elias stayed a couple seconds by the door in silence, not wanting to intrude in the sweet moment you were having. He couldn’t help but smile as he heard the sweet high pitch voice you used when talking to the little kid, how you’d smile and make a funny face at Gunnar, how he would laugh at you which only made both your smiles grow wider. If the other day he had thought you were pretty, today he was convinced you were beautiful.

Eventually you finished the book and Elias thought it was time to make his presence known before you notice he had been there the whole time and thought he was creeping on you or something. He was sure you already had a bad impression of him, no need to make it worse. He gently knocked on the door and your face shot up at him.

“Hey.” he said shyly walking into the room.

“Hi.” you replied as you got up with Gunnar still in your arms. The kid wrapped his arms around you and rested his face in your chest, it was clear he would fall asleep any moment from now.

“Can we talk?” Elias asked, not sure how to begin the conversation and a little afraid you’d blow him off.

“S-sure.” you replied a bit confused as to what he wanted to talk about. “But in a low voice, he’s really close to falling asleep.”

“Oh yeah sure.” he immediately lowered his tone to almost a whisper which you found cute. A small giggle escaped your lips.

“I’m Elias by the way.” he said, extending his hand but quickly putting it away and blushing when he realized you wouldn’t be able to shake it since you were holding the kid.

“Y/N. You’re Bo’s teammate, right? The one who thought I was kidnapping Gunnsey.” you added a smirk and arched brows, making his cheeks turn even redder. You were joking about it, that’s a good sign Elias though. Maybe you didn’t hate him.

“Yeah, that’s what I wanted to talk about. I’m so sorry.” he finally said, letting out a deep sigh. He had been beating himself up about it since that night some weeks ago and finally being able to apologize was like taking a huge weight off of his shoulders. You could tell.

“Don’t worry, it was just a misunderstanding. I mean if I saw a stranger basically running down a hall with one of my friend’s kids I’d think the worst too. You did nothing wrong Elias.” you reassured him. Yes at the moment you nearly had a heart attack and felt a bit of resentment towards that guy who thought you could even do something like that, but after all you didn’t lose your job and you could tell Elias genuinely regret everything that had happened.

“Still I shouldn’t have thought you were kidnaping a child, you don’t look like you’d do that.”

“Glad to know I look like a decent human being.”

“You do! I mean not that I thought you didn’t. I-I think you look really pretty- really decent!” Elias started rambling trying to correct himself but felt he was only making everything worse. However you found the blushing mess of a man in front of you actually really cute.

“Thanks Elias, you look really decent too.” you told him with a sweet smile that helped calm his nerves down. He beamed down and at you and held your gaze. The room went silent but it wasn’t awkward at all. At one point you could have swore his blue eyes had hypnotized you.

“Oh you put him to sleep.” Holly said, appearing suddenly next to you. Only then you noticed at some point in your conversation with Elias Gunnar had fallen asleep in your arms. You then proceeded to walk up to the little bed and tried to lay the sleeping kid as gently as possible to not wake him up.

“You should head to the yard with us, grab something to eat.”

“Are you sure? What if he wakes up and-”

“Don’t be silly, that’s why we have the baby monitor. Come on, Elias can present you to the rest of the team.” she said hooking her arms with yours and basically dragging you out of the room too quickly to notice Elias blushed cheeks and for him to notice yours.

Just like Holly said Elias introduced you to the rest of the team before moving an empty chair so you could sit next to him. You didn’t miss the way his friends looked at you two and smirked, but decided not to make a deal out of it, just boys being boys.

The rest of the afternoon was spent eating, talking and laughing; mostly with Elias. At first you were part of the group conversation, but eventually your bodies started slowly turning to the point you were basically facing each other and having a conversation of your own.

He told you about him, how long he had been teammates with Bo, his love for hockey, how he felt moving to the states; he even showed off a little telling you about his rookie year and how he won the Calder trophy.

And you told him about yourself, what you were studying, how you started babysitting and a friend connected you with the Horvats. He listened to everything you said, no matter how boring and mundane it seemed to you. You weren’t traveling the country living your dream like him, but to him every single fact you told him about yourself was impressive. You genuinely felt heard which wasn’t something common, especially dealing with guys.

Gunnar stayed asleep for most of the time. Only once he woke up and when he did Holly insisted she would take care of it, that she missed her baby boy. But you knew she was just doing it so you could stay with Elias, and you internally thanked her for it.

You completely lost track of time and by the time you checked your phone's couldn't believe it was already almost evening.

“I should get going.” you announced getting up and the rest of the group booed.

“Come on it’s not even 6pm.” Jake said.

“I know, but I have an exam tomorrow and I should go over everything one last time.”

“Do you have a ride?” Holly asked.

“No but I’ll just take an uber-”

“Petey can drive you.” Jake proposed without even looking at his friend who was debating on whether to kill him or thank him.

“But he’s the designated driv-” Quinn started to say but shut up when Brock nudged him on the ribs with his elbow. It was embarrassingly obvious his friends were setting him up, but if it meant getting more times with you Elias didn’t mind. He’d deal with them later.

You looked at Elias who by now had stood up with you and was reaching for his keys on his pocket. “You really don’t have to.”

“Oh I was already thinking about leaving, don’t worry.” he reassured you but you were pretty sure the idea never crossed his mind till you have decided to leave.

Your apartment wasn’t far from the house so in a couple of minutes Elias was parking his car in front of the door of your building. Throughout the night a feeling started slowly growing inside of you. You could tell he was a genuinely nice guy, he apologized and spent the rest of the day getting to know you, genuinely interested in everything you told him. It was clear a connection was starting to form between the two of you and neither wanted it to stop.

“Thank you for the ride. You really didn’t have to.” you said once again, eyes stuck on the windshield.

“It’s the least I could do after the whole misunderstanding the other day.” he replied and the car fell into a comfortable silence. You knew it was time to say goodbye, but part of you wished you didn’t have to. Elias was thinking the exact same. He knew what he wanted, he wanted to see you again, but he couldn’t find the words and a part of him doubted if you were just being friendly and it was all in his head.

“Are you going to our next home game next friday?”

“Maybe, I don’t know if Holly and Bo will ask me to go with Gunssey.”

“I mean you could go by yourself …” he started to say and made a pause to look at you, gathering the courage he needed before adding: “to see me.”

“Would you like me to go see you?” you asked, finally turning your head to look at him.

“Yeah I’d really like that.” he replied without missing a beat. The smile that appeared in your face the moment you heard his words made every last bit of doubt disappear inside Elias.

He started to lean into you, heart beating fast on his chest, holding your gaze. You raised your hand gently cupping his cheek and bringing him even closer. His eyes went from yours to your lips and back to your eyes. You were so close you were basically breathing each other's breath. But when your lips were about to touch he stopped and whispered: “You still haven’t answered.”

“I’d love to-” you let out between giggles. He didn’t even let you finish and was already connecting his lips to yours, unable to hold himself back any longer.

His lips were soft against yours, but determinate, setting the rhythm. It was a shy kiss, your first one of many to come. At some point you took off your seat belts to be more comfortable, only prolonging the moment. You’d stop to catch your breath with your foreheads touching, but the second your eyes connected again, go back to kissing, like you couldn’t get enough.

“I should go in, people are gonna start wondering why there’s been a sports car parked in the front door for the last couple minutes.” you joked, definitely pulling away from him but not daring to look at him because you knew if you did you were never getting out of the car. He leaned back on his seat, still in disbelief of everything that had happened. You looked at him one last time before you were about to get out of the car, and decided one last kiss wouldn’t hurt nobody.

He was surprised at first when he felt your hand sneak to the back of his neck, but smiled again into the kiss once he felt your lips connect to his. It took every bit of self control you had to pull away again and get off the car before.

“Friday then?” you said peeking your head through the open window of the car.

He nodded before adding: “And then we could go out? Have some dinner?”

“Sounds perfect.” You didn’t even try to hide the smile on your face.

“See you on friday then.”

“Goodbye Petey.” you said and he chuckled at how you had already started using the nickname his teammates had put him. He loved how it sounded coming from you.

“Goodbye Y/N.”

You turned around and started making your way to the building and Elias waited till you were in to drive away. You entered your apartment and let yourself fall on the couch, a loud chuckle scaping your lips just thinking about everything that had happened today. That bubbling feeling sill strong inside you, unable to take your mind off of the cute hockey player who couldn’t tell a nanny from a kidnapper.

i’ll tag those who asked for it and those who showed some interest on the fic (if i tagged and you didn’t just ignore this sorry)

taglist: @sorryjustafangirl @iwantahockeyhimbo @itshakiba @simpgirl-lat @mellany1997 @stlbluesbrat

also if you wanna be tagged whenever i post about petey or whenever i post a piece let me know!!

#elias pettersson #elias pettersson imagine #elias pettersson x reader #elias pettersson fic #canucks #canucks imagine #canucks fic #vancuver canucks #hockey #hockey fic #hockey imagine #nhl #nhl fic #nhl imagine

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stevesharrlngtons · 3 years

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a/n: this is 110% inspired by @skarsgard-daydreams and her wonderful eric x reader series unto dead. if you haven't already, GO READ IT, it will change your life.

this is literally just filthy smut. that's it, nothing else, you've been warned why am i nervous? is everyone nervous posting smut? this came out of loving marie's stories with a passion, and wanting to bring some good solo pam smut to the table. with that being said, 18+ and sorry if it sucks lmao ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ enjoy!

Time meant nothing in the dungeon, and even less when you were under Mistress Pam’s rule. It didn’t matter to her if she went against her word and five minutes of spankings turned into fifty. She didn’t care if she promised that after she counted to three you could cum, and then let hours lapse between one and two. And she certainly didn’t care about your opinion on her lack of concern over the loss and fluctuations of time during your sporadic sessions.

Your sessions only happened on the rare occasion Eric was out of town, and the even rarer occasion that he allowed Pam to play with you without him.

Tonight, the stars had a lined and allowed both of the requirements to be met for her to handle his girl all alone. Although, his presence was never really left out of these affairs. The security camera in the corner always reminded Pam, and you, of his omnipresence.

As Pam looked over your restrained naked body now, she knew without even having her maker in the room that he was enjoying himself. Your lithe form shone under candlelight as sweat drenched your skin and wetness slicked between your thighs. Your chest was rising and falling in great succession. You squirmed uselessly in the binds that secured your wrists and ankles to the steel table, as your body subconsciously tried to curl inward for comfort after another orgasm had been cruelly ripped away from you. Pam smirked, lashes batting down at you as she weighed the heavy wand vibrator in her hand.

“Stupid girl, thinking she gets to cum whenever she wants. So greedy,” she ran the wand on low vibration over the length of your form, enjoying greatly the way it made you gurgle and whine, "I own your orgasms, your pussy isn’t allowed to pulse unless I choose to make it do so, correct?”

She rounded your pert nipple with the wand, “Correct?”

“Yes! Yes, Mistress!” you gasped out, knowing that not responding at all would only make your deprivation worse.

“Look at that, maybe you aren’t just a stupid little cunt after all,” she slowly moved the wand away from your nipple to draw it between the valley of your breasts, up your throat and along your cheek, just to press it hard into your jaw and chatter your teeth, “you’ll learn your place one day. Until then, I do enjoy teaching you.”

She said this in a mock sympathy, she said it like you should be grateful for her torture and her lessons.

Though, nothing that had happened this evening was surprising, and you should have mentally prepared yourself for the tribulations she would put you through. The foreplay and the lead up to penetration when you were alone with Pam was always maddening.

“He might be big, but no one fucks like me. We have to make sure you’re really ready,” she’d say in her signature drawl as she’d pull out a new toy to use on you.

“Do you think you’ve had enough?” Pam asked flippantly, pushing the head of the vibrator into your cheek firmly once more before taking it off all together.

This time, you knew better than to answer. Both answers were wrong.

“Let’s check, why don’t we?” she posed it as a question but it was rhetorical. Anything Pam wanted to happen, would.

She turned off the wand and placed it to the side, along with many of the instruments she had already or planned on using on you. Unable to crane your neck far enough to watch her walk to your bottom half, you relied on your peripheral vision and the sound of her stilettos on the concrete to alert you. Soon, you felt her icy soft hands part your thighs wider and the sound of a hum leave her lips.

“Would you look at that?” manicured nails came to spread your lips that were dripping with arousal, “quite the excited little slut, aren’t you? You don’t hate your punishments as much as you let on, it seems.”

Her touch felt so good you could barely control the moan that ripped through your chest when three of her flat fingers started to rub the outside of your pussy.

“That’s right, let that brain of yours melt out of your little cunt. You’re so much better when your Mistress’s little fuck doll and nothing more.”

Pam could smell the delicious aroma of your eager pussy and the sweet blood pumping steadily through your femoral artery. She wanted nothing more than to sink her teeth into your skin and let your oozing blood mix with your arousal so she could slurp up her favorite cocktail. But she knew she had to refrain. Eric was always very strict with her biting his pets, especially when he wasn’t around.

“You just can’t resist, can you?” she chuckled lowly and your breath hitched, “pretending to struggle but soaking yourself between your legs.”

You wanted to reply, you wanted to say anything even if it was just to continue to play into the evening, but the second you felt her fingers breach your center, your brain powered down like a TV set.

“Even wetter inside,” she said in faux surprise, “with no resistance.”

“But you know what, little slut? I think I want more. I want your cunt to drool so much it makes a puddle on the floor for me, and then, but only then, will I think about putting a cock in you.”

The idea of finally being filled had you delirious, and when Pam crooked her fingers and started to pump them inside you, you felt crazed. Her skillful finger tips hooked and rubbed over your g-spot so well, you had the brief worry of passing out cross over you.

“Finally being a good girl, huh? A good little toy for me. You were such an insolent little brat earlier, weren’t you? But after a few hours with mistress, suddenly you're the perfect little pet Daddy and I deserve.”

Her fingers started to pick up their pace, “keep this up and who knows what will happen.”

Faster.

“But you better not cum. You better not even think about that pleasure.”

Faster.

“Because good little pets don’t own their orgasms. No, no they do not.”

Faster.

“Pa- Mistress, please, I-” you stuttered, anxiety started to blossom in your chest as you felt your stomach clench.

“Hold it,” she replied firmly, but didn’t stop her assault.

“I’m gonna- please, slow down!”

“I said to hold it.”

But it was too late, you had already started to tip over the edge before you could do anything else to warn her or ward her off. The way she was hitting your g-spot combined with the heavy edging she had subjected you to made your resistance useless.

The second she felt your muscles tighten hard around her fingers, she saw red. She didn’t even contemplate working you through your orgasm as she immediately pulled her fingers out of you, ruining the euphoria of your high as you were left pulsing around nothing and starved of the release you wanted. An involuntary scream left your lips as you began to thrash hard again, but a hard slap to your thigh stopped you.

“You dirty fucking slut! You’re nothing but a greedy little whore whose cunt rules her. You can’t even follow directions,” she stormed around the table to stand by your face, her hand coming to grip your jaw tight and angle it toward her, “fucking say it.”

You were still trying to catch your breath, to come back to your body as salvia caught in your throat.

Another brutal slap sounded through the room as Pam whacked you across the face with anger and conviction. The sharp sting made tears well in your eyes.

“Do I have to make you say it? Move these useless lips myself? You’re supposed to be a good little toy and yet I still do all the work.”

“I’m, I’m nothing but a greedy, a greedy little whore whose cunt rules her. I can’t even follow directions,” you did your very best to choke out.

“Not even an apology,” she scoffed and dropped your head back to the table with a clang.

“I’m-” but she cut you off.

“Save it. I don’t want to hear another word you have to say. Toys don’t need to talk. They have nothing important to say.”

Tears finally fell over your lash line and streaked your cheeks. But you weren’t ready to tap out yet. You didn’t want to.

“You will prove your atonement to me, and you’ll do it with that tongue of yours buried deep in Mistress’s pussy,” Pam sneered as she slapped your face even harder (if that was possible) in the opposite direction, “you better get to work to prove to me that I should show you any semblance of mercy.”

She started to hike up the latex dress she wore, “and you better get to work. We have a long night ahead of us.”

And you as strange as it may have sounded, you looked forward to it.

i haven't written smut in years, and haven't written good smut maybe ever lmao, so i hope this was up to par! forgive any errors, i wrote and edited this at 2am

once again, plllsss read marie's series (and just everything she writes bc holy fuck are they are all so good) also very much blushing reading this back in the light of day who knows if this stays up lmao

#pam true blood smut #pam true blood x reader #pam x reader #pamela swynford de beaufort x reader #pamela ravenscroft x reader #true blood smut #stevesharrlngtonswrites

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slytherflynn · 3 years

Text

Old and New | Pt I

Blaise Zabini x muggle!reader

word count: 1971

summary: y/n is new to France on a study abroad trip. Blaise is visiting France post-Hogwarts. rags to riches story of an unfortunate muggle falling for a complicated, ridiculously wealthy person who just so happens to also be a powerful Wizard.

a/n: this started with an idea, became a moodboard, then became an entire fleshed out fic! I thought it would be short but my brain had other ideas. enjoy! note: I did write this from my personal perspective in life. as a result it is not very inclusive. I plan to change that with my next fics, I’ve just been having a really hard time lately and have been writing a lot of comfort fics and/or self-inserts to escape from irl bc irl is rly shitty for me rn

It’s a brand-new start, in a brand-new apartment, in a brand-new city, in a brand-new country... an ocean away from home. I can bring Tacoma to France, right? At least, that’s what I’m trying to tell myself. Study abroad is fucking... scary. I kinda regret it. It’s a good opportunity and for someone who doesn’t travel, it should be a fun experience. But I’m currently having an anxiety attack over taking out the garbage, so I’m not sure my positive self-talk is working.

I look out the window of my top floor apartment, wait until someone finally finishes walking down the stairs, and run out my door - I nearly trip about five times going down the spiral of death, my arms feel like jelly thanks to perpetually pushing my garbage deeper in to avoid this trip, and I swing with all my might to hurl my garbage bag into the trash compacting dumpster - only it hits the bottom lip and falls to the ground, splitting open.

“Great!” I say, sarcastically, “First they send my luggage to the wrong location, then they try to say my passport isn’t valid because my apartment was a temporary address, then I’m greeted with a fridge full of rotting food and no power, then I’m bitten up by fleas and now - I just- fuck. Why can’t I just- do anything- right-“ I cut myself off when I hear a screen door slide and blink a couple times to erase the threat of tears that had been creeping up on me while I ranted.

When I look up, I see a tall, dark-skinned guy about my age - handsome. He’s wearing a suit, and expensive jewelry. Combine that with the fact he’s living in the apartment building next to me, which is worth more than my life just for one month of rent, and I put together that he’s probably rich beyond belief. I quickly look away, not wanting to stare. I silently pick up my garbage, piece by piece. As I work, I feel eyes drilling holes in the back of my head. I ignore it. It continues, and I still ignore it as I finally shove my ripped garbage bag in the compactor and slam the door shut. I hear a slight jump up above, and chuckle to myself.

I zoom back up the stairs and almost make it to the top, but I trip 5 stairs away from my door - and fall, hard. Body laid out flat hard. Cheek scraped and stinging from the metal grating on the stairs, hard. Lost the goddamned slide that caught on the stair, and can see it gradually falling, bouncing and rolling down the stairs, hard. I lift my head and see blood on the stair. I feel it running down my face. All I can think is that this really fucking hurts. The tears come, a combination of pain and frustration, and I pick myself up and stumble my way into my apartment, completely forgetting about the attractive rich boy who just watched me be a danger and inconvenience to myself.

I rush to the kitchen and grab a roll of paper towels, and run to the bathroom, I see the markings in the mirror and can tell it will leave a sizeable scar. Do I need stitches? I don’t know. Anyway, I start dabbing at everything and blood is still oozing out of every nook and cranny, to my displeasure. I’m about to start bandaging my face when I hear a knock on my door. “Fucking Christ!” I mutter to myself as I slap a wad of paper towels on my face and sulkily go to fling open my door.

I’m not sure who I’m expecting, but to see the same rich guy on my doorstep, slide in hand, probably wasn’t it. “Hey, um, I saw what happened, and I thought you might want your shoe back.” His accent sounds very British - I was expecting it to sound more like a snooty Frenchman’s.

“Oh. Um. Thanks.” I say flatly.

As my muscles twitch to begin closing the door, he says, “Would you like some help cleaning that up? I have certifications to give medical aid... and stitches. My name’s Blaise, by the way.”

Doctor, maybe? Probably. “Sure,” I say, opening the door wider and standing back so the blood doesn’t drip on his suit. “I’m y/n.”

A few minutes later we’re in my bathroom, me sitting on the toilet, him sitting on the bathtub as he helps me fix my face. “So, Mademoiselle y/n,” He asks, “Do you find yourself in these predicaments very often?”

“Which one? Poverty, flea bitten, or bloody?” I say.

“I suppose whichever you’d like to think I was referring to.”

“Well, in *that* case - I’m usually caught unawares in all kinds of predicaments - though I’d say self-injury due to clumsiness is an uncommon one. And do you usually find yourself in predicaments requiring you to treat someone’s wounds?”

“I used to, though now it’s only on the occasion.”

“Sounds like an improvement,” I note. “I won’t guarantee it, but I think I’ll get the hang of walking up the stairs soon enough, so you don’t have to worry about me.”

“I wouldn’t necessarily mind it if I did worry about you once or twice more. Why were you running? It seemed like you wanted to get away from something. Does your garbage compactor smell that disturbing?”

“It doesn’t smell great,” I admit, “But truth be told, I’m not a fan of human interaction. It’s scary. Especially when everything is new to me.”

“How long have you been In France?”

“A few days, just enough to get myself physically settled.”

“I see. And you are from America?”

“Mhm. Let me guess, my accent gave it away.”

“And the slang, I’ve yet to hear someone from France use certain terms that you seem to favor.”

“Oh, most of my slang is specific to my city, not just my country.”

“Your city?”

“Yea, Tacoma. It’s near Seattle, if you know where that is. Tacoma’s better, though.”

“I’ve heard of it, but I’ve never been there. My mother is a fashion designer, but she only travels where there’s inspiration or a business deal.” So that’s how he gets the expensive clothes. The rest of the money too, probably.

“Must be nice, having a handmade closet.” I muse. “Not that I care for having any more clothes than I brought. They’re pretty reliable, if I do say so myself.”

He laughs. “Yes, well, if the blood stains don’t come out of your jumpsuit you might need a new one. They shouldn’t be too difficult to remove, though.”

“Yea, I’ll just dump a bucket of Oxi-Clean on it and call it a day. That is, if any stores nearby have it.” I frown, realizing I have no clue if France carries any of the products I usually get. This is gonna suck. Hopefully the internet has some answers so I don’t have to ask anyone for help.

“Why don’t I take your jumpsuit back with me? Save you the trip. Believe it or not, I used to have chronic nosebleeds, so I know a thing or two about stain removal.” Blaise offers.

I smile, only just. “Well, if you insist. But I love this jumpsuit practically more than myself, so I expect it back right away!”

He returns the smile. “A fan of fashion? You ought to meet my mother.”

I chuckle. “I’m sure your mom would despise me - I only own seven jumpsuits and some athleisure for going on runs.” I pause, then tack on: “Oh, and some fuzzy pajamas for when I’m sick.”

Blaise cocks a brow at me. “And when you’re not sick?”

“Don’t worry about it.” I grin mischievously.

A wave of recognition graces his eyes, and he very quickly looks away, I assume for being flustered.

“You Americans, always so scandalous.” He tsks in mock scorn.

“That’s what we’re known for, is it not?” I say cheekily, “Beer, boobs and gun barrels. And all the other problems that come with that, but that’s a can of worms I am not looking to open today.”

He ties off his handiwork, and says, “It looks like my job is finished, other than stealing your jumpsuit off your back to fix it. I can wait in the other room, if you’d like?”

“Um, yea, that works. Lemme just, grab my next jumpsuit. Gonna have to do laundry early, I suppose-“

“I can wash your jumpsuit for you. I’m pretty good at reading labels, if I do say so myself.” He jokes.

“Oh?” I say, “Then you must be a real genius! Who taught you, Einstein?”

“No, but it was another white-haired, eccentric man, so you’re not that far off.”

“When all teachers are like that it’s kind of impossible not to hit relatively close to the mark.” I remark, then change clothes as quickly as I can, tossing the dirty outfit into a trusty plastic bag and tying it shut.

When I walk out to the living room, Blaise is toying with one of my sculptures. He’s definitely been meandering and lurking around. “Enjoying yourself?” I ask, at which he jumps. “You’re rather skittish, Blaise.”

“And you’re rather quiet on your feet, y/n.” He observes. “But yes, I quite like your eclectic style. If only you had an apartment that let your customization shine. Something more minimalist.”

“Yes, well, it’s something I’ll forever dream of and likely never accomplish. I don’t suspect I’m going to be someone leaving the income level I was born into.” I say, just a little bit cynical.

“And why is that?” He asks.

“Because most people don’t, and the ones who do are the ones who make money. My career isn’t going to make me money.” I reply.

“So why did you pick it?”

I sigh. “Because somebody has to care about the people like me. The politicians don’t, the middle class don’t, and the rich are hell bent on keeping us there so they can have factory workers and have people going straight to prison after they graduate because we’re all desperate and miserable.”

He frowns. “That’s terrible.”

“It’s reality. And I don’t want to be like the people who get rich and stop caring because all they see is the wage difference and pretend it’s justified so they don’t have to feel complicit in the system.” I look him in the eye, my face grim. “Not all luck is by chance. Most of it is by design.”

He nods. “I understand, in a way.”

“Everyone does.” I say. “But understanding in a way and caring enough to do something about it are two different things.” I look away from him when I see his posture change. “I’m not trying to be rude, but it’s impossible not to notice the wealth gap between us when you’re wearing designer clothes and living in what looks like a mansion and I’m living in a building made in like 1900 with no elevator. It’s just the way things are, though.”

“I know.” He says quietly, thoughtfully. “I’d better get going. Your clothes?” He reaches out tentatively for the bag I’m still holding.

“Oh. Right.” I say, handing it to him. Our fingers brush against each other slightly, and it sends chills down my spine. He heads to the door while I’m rooted to the spot, collecting myself.

“I look forward to seeing you again, y/n.” He nods, meeting my eyes with a rather changed expression.

“I’ll see you soon, then?” I ask, not quite sure which answer I’m expecting.

He smiles, only just. “As soon as I am able.” Seconds later, he’s out the door, and I’m alone in my dingy ass apartment. How in the fuck did any of that just happen?

#Blaise Zabini #muggle!reader #blaise x reader #slytherin #hogwarts #lady zabini #harry potter #hp #imagine #fanfic #slytherflynn #part 1

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